#whatever. it doesn't matter really how I feel. it's not like I have to talk to anybody who knew her ever again

[bixels]

Yes, these pages are genuinely so heartbreaking if you read it this way.

Ms. Pauling learns the truth –– that this woman she's been serving and desiring isn't a genius mastermind with a justifiable motive, but a toxic tar pit who will drag her down with her –– and realizes that in order to save her, she needs to let her go and let her die. That refusing to let her keep living is a mercy. Ms. Pauling looks like she's on the verge of tears when the Administrator turns away from her and just... stops caring about her the moment she doesn't have what she wants. She never really mattered.

All these slow-paced panels of the mercs giving Ms. Pauling space as she silently grieves in shock. The blank, sunken, numb stare. Faced with a total reset of her life. You can feel the weight and guilt and relief of a huge burden being lifted through the death of a loved one. She loved the Administrator, so she let her go; now she's finally free.

But here, Engie floats the idea that her love could endure as obsession and worship. As total servitude, even after death, to the Administrator's legacy and whatever lovely fantasy Ms. Pauling had of her. And she stares at this last piece of Australium with manic temptation. But Ms. Pauling rejects it and discards it all. It's done.

There's something to be said about Ms. Pauling being in an abusive relationship with the Administrator and allowing herself to be used like this for validation. Because lets be real, Ms. Pauling is treated horribly with zero recognition and she often just laughs it off or rationalizes as necessary to better serve the Administrator.

(it's honestly extremely obvious. ask yourself why ms. pauling believes getting manipulated, attacked, and shot by the administrator is worth it and not a big deal.)

I think when Engie tells her, "And you oughta know that [if you keep it] you won't never be free of it. And I mean maybe really never," he's talking about their relationship. That if she doesn't leave and drop this baggage and self-destructive love now, the Administrator will have her claws in her for the rest of her life. She will be dependent on her forever. It's a great way of showing how just "ending" a relationship like this is never the end; the shit will follow you until you purge everything.

In short, Ms. Pauling's arc is about surviving toxic boss-employee yuri and finding the strength and bravery to fully walk away from an abusive relationship and that's why she's the strongest TF2 character.

The final TF2 issue really got to me. Spoilers, but it’s the reveal that all of this suffering and murder and war over gravel and shitty land was for nothing but senseless, bottomless hatred. That the administrator can’t even remember where this revenge plot started as she flashes through different false memories of her parents’ deaths. There was never a tragic backstory or justification, only terrible people doing despicable things. And despite how crass and stupid and unserious TF2 is, the story subverts every expectation by showing the survivors and inheritors willingly breaking the cycle. Ms. Pauling lies to the administrator and chooses not to save her, and finally lets her die. (Hurts even more if you read into the subtext that Ms. Pauling is in love with the administrator.) She lets the final cache of Australium go and walks away from the burden and legacy of a century-old bloodfeud. Hale lets Gray’s daughter go and live her life freely. Spy is the first to arrive at Scout’s house and meet his big family, finally takes off his mask, and helps with the kids. Even Merasmus exhaustedly makes peace with himself and Soldier and chooses not to curse him or something. There’s nothing to finish, no promises to keep, and no one to avenge. The only thing to do is break the cycle and walk away.

It feels odd how happy and warm everything is, but it feels so right and earned. These bloodthirsty, awful, violent men were expendable cogs in a machine of endless violence, and they found a way out. It’s a genuinely great message about letting go the past that burdens you and finding the will and a way to hit the bricks, change, and be happy. Maybe they don’t technically deserve happiness, but they’ve got it nonetheless, and they’re not gonna let it go to waste. They’re still all crazy and violent, but on their own terms now and with people who love them! Smiles.

[windvexer]

I actually do think that doing magic takes a lot of work and is kinda hard and there aren't very many good shortcuts, and many modern shortcuts actually just amount to leaving out steps, which means you either have to be powerful enough to brute-force it or it fizzles.

Look, I know some people are just much better at magic and witchcraft; anything they do works with little effort, and the lengths some of us have to go to accomplish magic seems bizarre to them. Those people are cool and I wish I was like them but I'm not.

But I also think some of the truth of how to work effective sorcery gets paved over by these "witchcraft has no rules, do anything you want" support posts.

Because A) that is not true, I believe that witchcraft has lots and lots of rules (it's just that nobody else can tell you what they are), and B) I think do anything you want is taken to mean anything you do should work, which is also not true.

I feel like I always see advice given that you don't need to do things (like use physical tools, or cast circles, or whatever). But I never see anyone explaining the techniques and paths of power that are supposed to replace them.

Let's just imagine for a moment that clear quartz really is a universal substitute. Discordians would say that it totally is. So does that mean all you have to do to sub out clear quartz is to just put it on the altar and do the ritual as if it's something else?

Or do you have to do something more?

Do you have to consecrate the stone as being something other than what it is? Do you have to ritually birth it into a new life and baptize it like a baby? Do you have to spend weeks or months honing your technique of focus and beliefs so that you can mentally shift from consensus reality to a personal reality where there is literally no difference between clear quartz and sodalite?

Do you have to raise energies of sodalite and imprint them into the quartz crystal, perhaps working over it for an extended period of time? Do you have to use energy work to tie the clear quartz into Ideal Sodalite so that it becomes like an avatar?

No, you don't have to use physical tools if you don't want to. But that shouldn't be taken to imply that tools are useless or can be replaced in a way that matters by just visualizing that you have them.

A witch spends six months propitiating a tree, ingratiating themselves with the land, offerings and acts of fealty to the tree, a week-long branch harvesting ritual, blood offerings at midnight on a holy day, then another year curing the wood and crafting a wand. Big effort, right?

And you don't need to do that. But if you want that power, what are you going to do instead?

Same with circle-casting. Same with magic on the full moon. No, you don't have to wait until the full moon. You don't have to wait until the moon is in Libra. But there's a really good reason people do those things. So if you want those effects, what actions can replace those effects?

You literally could not do the spell while the full moon is in Libra. That's fine. But then what will bridge the gap? Will you have to raise more energy somewhere else? Include a new aspect? Modify the spell for the moon you can work with?

"You don't have to follow the moon phase for magic" doesn't mean the moon phase is irrelevant and some witches just like to inconvenience themselves for no reason. But it does mean that you can probably adapt your working to overcome the moon being in the inopportune phase.

Every time I talk about how much time, energy, and effort magic can be I feel like someone always replies, "well, it's just not that hard for me! I do what I want with what I have when I need it and it always just works, with very little effort."

Which I think is very great for them, but I also don't think that most people can get results with such low effort.

So anyway my entire point is that I think sometimes the reason people struggle with getting witchcraft to work is because they are operating off of out-of-context soundbites that make it sound like you can just completely cut out some of these foundational concepts of witchcraft.

Maybe you don't have to accomplish those steps in traditional ways. Maybe you don't need all of those steps for every spell you're doing.

But if you've just cut out swaths of steps only because you heard someone say you don't need them (not because of your own experiments working with magic and determining what works best for you), then is there enough left to constitute a functional system of magic?

[writingwisterias]

How the different eras of Leon react when you tease them? (Wolf whistle, hand on their hip, slapping their ass, etc) gotta make that gorgeous man blush!!! >:)))

Hi Anon!

I bet he has the prettiest blush ever as well omg..

Warnings: Fluff, Teasing, I love Leon blushing sm he would look so pretty

GN!Reader

RE2:

I think it would be really funny if you slapped his ass whilst at home

Like hes still getting used to the whole domestic situation after Raccoon City

So let's say he's bent over to do something, vaugly forgets you are even there and then you slap it

He sort of like jolts slightly, definitely blushes like a dark pink blush

He whips his head around so fast in just pure shock only to be met with your wild grin.

Would also eventually get afraid to walk up the stares in front of you.

It's not your fault it's in your face and just so perfect and squishy.

You could never do it in front of people he knows, maybe a little squeeze if you are stood next to him.

Or even a small pinch if you walked by him

But he would get embarrassed by it and give you such a sad puppy look that it makes you feel bad.

RE4R:

So his arms right...HUGE

You just can't resist touching them.

Like you will come up to him and either poke it or like full on squeeze.

Get goosebumps if you use your finger to follow the outline of his muscles or veins.

The same with his hands, I know he's got the veiny hands underneath his gloves.

Will get flustered if you hold his hand and make sure all the blood runs to it so they really pop.

Also blushes if you leave little bite marks on his arms.

Infinite darkness:

He's not afraid to wolf whistle you so why can't you return it.

He does it all the time to you it's only fair

The only thing is, yours is louder

I think he acts like he wants to be the center of attention. Everyone knows who is so he's normally the center of attention anyway.

But if you whistle him and suddenly everyone stops what they are doing he'll glare at you

Impressed by the volume of the wolf whistle but will glare at you.

You will also do it if you leave him in an aisle at the store to go and get something but then you walk around to the other side and scare him with it

Like I'm saying full on jump you almost feel bad

Eventually gets the idea and will stop doing it to you as much

Damnation:

Piggy backs

I'm talking like you both head out to the bar to get drunk...of course he needs a drink buddy

You get so drunk that you can barely walk so you put your faith in him to either get back to your place or his place

Eventually he gives up and just crouched in front of you

Even though he's the one that initiated the action he's still like freaking out in his head

Because you trust him enough to get back safely

But he's also blushing because he loves the way that you are fitting on him and how you feel against him

RE6:

Sitting on his lap

Like doesn't matter if there's a chair free or whatever

Just perching on him optionally is enough to make this man blush

Because like what's the reason. His head doesn't compute

There's clearly a perfectly good chair why have you chosen to sit on his lap in front of everyone?

He's not arguing, like he's smitten

He loves the fact you like him enough that you'll just sit in his lap

But he just doesn't understand why

Vendetta:

Talking positively about him

Like not praising him to his face, but like just actively talking about him

Say your at a family event and he had a good mission

You're just boasting about how great he is at what he does

You know he hates the job and is struggling but everyone else seems impressed and almost thankful for his work

I think he would hate it, the fact you are talking about him in this way and its almost teasing to him because he feels like he doesn't deserve it

But when he actually takes in what you are saying he will blush and stutter because in his mind how can you say all of this about him?

Like he's just a drunk overworked agent in his mind

But in yours he's like a hero

Death Island:

Laying your head in his lap

Like first of all you are dangerously close to a certain area so you are teasing in that way

Secondly he's blushing because why are you so cute like this

His hand just instantly goes for hair and playing with it, stroking your head like some kind of cat

Imagine like everyone around and you just do it because you always do

And he's just awkward because he doesn't want his friends to think a softie but it's also comforting

But to make it worse you nudge your head back and accidentally brush against something that makes him very red in the face

[xxgoldie]

Hyewwo, if you don't mind.. 👉👈

I, U, and X for Lighter? 🥺 Thank you so much for what you do!

main event page - event masterlist

I: Injury - how do they act when you get hurt? No matter the severity of the injury, Lighter worries about you. Something bad happenning to you is like his worst nightmare, so his eyes instinctively fly to you in a panic every time you make any sound of pain, even if it's just a papercut or stubbed toe. If you get seriously injured, though, he's an absolute wreck. He wants so badly to protect you and make sure you're okay, but seeing you in so much pain and covered in your own blood has him losing it, the closest he's getting to helping is half-begging half-threatening anyone with medical training to Do Something. He hates hospitals, but he won't leave your side until you're okay, even if you end up in one. Won't even let himself sleep until your condition is stable. And as your recovering and sent home, you'll have a 24/7 assistant and guard until you're back to tiptop shape, that brief taste of losing you has him extra protective, even permanently.

U: Upset - how would they comfort you if you're upset? Lighter is a practical man - he's great if you're frustrated about something and need to vent since he'll analyse all the details with you, picking apart the situation and helping you to decide the next course of action. But that's not the most helpful response when the feelings are more fresh, and he understands that. He doesn't really know what to do with himself if you cry in front of him - he hates to see you so upset and he rarely knows what to say to make you feel better. Instead, he'll opt to just hold you, pressing soft kisses into your hair and mutter soft reassurances, little "I'm here"s and "you're okay"s. As you start recovering, his mission becomes to make you laugh, whether it takes a corny joke or a tickle attack with kisses pressed all over your face, distracting you until you're ready to talk through whatever upset you.

X: X-Ray - how easily can they read their partner? how easy are they to read? Lighter is really perceptive - he's really good at reading people in general, so he sees through you so easily with how much time you spend together. He can always tell if there's something bothering you, or if you're particularly attracted to something he does. The first he uses for good, coaxing you to talk about it or getting you a treat to cheer you up before you even tell him something's wrong. He'll find solutions you didn't know existed to problems you barely have, and all you have to do is make one slightly frustrated sigh. The latter he uses for pure evil, he's an absolute menace, showing off the things he knows you like. No matter how cool you try to play it, he can Tell he's affecting you, its lowkey infuriating how proud of himself he looks. When it comes to reading him, its a bit tougher. He's pretty good at hiding and repressing his thoughts when he wants to, not letting them show on his face. Besides, his sunglasses make it a bit harder to read his expressions. But with you, he doesn't hide his thoughts that often, especially in private, and you can pretty easily tell exactly what he's feeling just from his face. Between that and how easily he reads you, you can probably have whole conversations with him just using facial expressions

[letsyapthenightaway]

The Hockey Boys when you are sick!

Matt Rempe: Panics for a second but knows what to do. Would miss practice to take care of you, or have someone close to you check in. He said he likes crackers, so I'm going to say he knows exactly which ones are going to help with your tummy. It gives me the vibe that he will blow on the soup and then feed it to you; he would steal some from you. Laughs when you scold him about him being able to get sick from sharing the same spoon. Would be so soft! like bundle you up in a blanket and keep you either on the couch or bed. Steals kisses, not worried about getting sick.

Luke Hughes: Panicked! His girl is sick, and he knows how to handle it a little, but because he is nervous, he doesn't do it the best at first. Rushes around the apartment trying to find the medicine, make soup, and call his mom asking for advice. He would nervously watch you try the soup; it doesn't matter if he made it, if it was from a can, or if it was from a shop. He wants to make sure you like it and are comfortable. Always check in on you and ask if you are okay, like 20 times in 10 minutes. Watches you with soft eyes; you can tell poor bud wants a smooch, but he knows you will say no. Smiles so bright when you are feeling better and finally give him one. He won't fully get sick after taking care of you, but he would get some sniffles.

Jack Hughes- He is sick with you; you probably got sick because of him. So both of you are just in bed feeling bad; if you do not cuddle him, he is whining. Would talk your ear off even if he has a sore throat. Your nausea causes him to get nausea. Very chaotic, but will feel bad and try his best to take care of you even if you tell him to rest. At first, it's pouting the day away, but then it's snuggles and old comforting movies. Would worry a little about hockey but sees this as him getting to spend time with his girl even if they both aren't at their best.

Quinn Hughes takes care of you and doesn't get sick while doing so. Is so reasurring that you shouldn't be embarrassed for having sniffles, nausea, or whatever. Honestly, I might enjoy you being sick a little too much. I like to claim that you are at least a little to a lot more chaotic than Quinn. So the apartment is very much calmer than usual. He would feed you soup and, just to add a little joke, would do the airplane thing at least once. Worries like crazy if you get a sudden fever. You know how you watch a baby to make sure they are breathing out of paranoia? He does that to you once that fever hits.

Connar Bedard- I love Connor, but he would NOT want to get sick. Loves and takes care of you from a distance. I'm going to put the soup at the door. Do you think you can grab it? Feels bad, but he cannot be out of his game! The moment he sneezes or gets a sniffle, he is feeding you both medicine. He really does wish for cuddles, and it tempted him! His girl is sick and wants to be there for her, and he will...from that distance. If he does get sick, he will try to play it cool, sick? Don't know him. Until he is being forced by you, who is already healthy again or still sick, to lay down and rest. At least now he doesn't need to fight the urge to cuddle. Will 100% whine and complain about missing practice or games.

[matrixbearer2024]

I had an ask about this regarding my AU but I don't know what happened to it after I saw it in my inbox cuz it might be tumblr being funny but essentially it was just:

"Does West Coast Tech still exist? Why didn't Ford go to West Coast Tech?"

Short answer is, he simply didn't want to in this AU. West Coast Tech is among the Ivy Leagues in my AU and BMU still exists too, it still has the prominent reputation of being a back-up university.

In this AU ultimately Ford never really developed the mindset that he was "special" and had to make a point of it or prove that he was somebody. Because of their upbringing, there wasn't a "preference" others had towards either twin because Filbrick disliked them equally and their academic and extracurricular skills basically made them break even. There wasn't a stupid twin/smart twin between them and Caryn made damn sure about it.

Possibly the only thing that most people say about the two is that they're "smart but stupid" because of all the trouble they get wrapped up in doing whatever or being too curious for their own good.

The teachers or coaches didn't favor one twin over the other either and they were generally liked by their peers. Ford didn't end up with that sense of arrogance that you can typically see in canon where he believes he is above the rest and he has to be and Stan didn't develop that inferiority complex compared to his sibling.

In this AU, Ford had the option to go to West Coast Tech but even throughout senior high he already knew that a good university could really only get you so far. He was a sharp tool yes, but... he didn't think that edge would really push him far. He had an edge, but it wasn't much.

There's a lot of gifted people nowadays and even good credentials aren't going to guarantee a decent job or a stable career, that's if you can even get a job right away.

The science project and everything was still what gave him the opportunity and Stan even congratulated him for scoring that high but Ford wasn't really pleased? I'm not sure with the word but he wasn't exactly happy with the circumstance. They didn't fight over it considering all throughout highschool they kept talking about potential careers and whatnot.

It didn't help that Filbrick encouraged the idea of West Coast Tech because of how much money Ford could potentially make. Even so, Ford was stupidly skeptical after seeing the pamphlet and researching online. Realistically it seemed too good to be true, and he couldn't even sleep on it from how much he kept thinking.

Stan knew he would likely take longer to figure things out but he'd get there, and he was willing to let Ford just reach for the stars as he always did. They still have that dream of sailing around the world as adults but it's a lot more defined and realistic compared to how they planned it in canon. They're thinking, work hard, get rich, then retire early to sail and travel around the world. If their paths split early, they'll find a way back when they grow up. They always do.

It's something they constantly talk about because they both desperately want to move out after graduation just to get the hell away from Filbrick. It doesn't matter where they end up they just need to get away.

Even so, Ford mulled over the offer and decided to visit the university before making his decision. His gut feeling was both parts right and wrong, sure— what he thought was too good to be true was the actual reality of the school and it's pursuit of academic excellence, but he was right to be skeptical after he noticed the snobbish and arrogant nature most of the students have. It's a common thing for ivy leagues to have that mentality that they're the cream of the crop. The best there is. Not everybody is like this of course, but sometimes the loudest crowd doesn't always have to be the majority.

It does take a lot of work to get to their level and to stay at that level but Ford couldn't see himself in that school. He didn't want to allow himself into that crowd where he knew it would potentially make him worse off as a person. Also, he had the entirety of undergrad to get through, if he so much as wanted to transfer to an Ivy League to get his masters or doctorate he knew he could! So what was the rush?

University was a stepping stone and he had time, he knew he could do a lot but he didn't need to rush. So... Ford turned down the offer.

Sadly, it was pretty much as chaotic(bad) as you'd think.

Of course, that meant looking for another university instead and it was mostly Stan who did the research this time because Ford was too burnt out and sulky after everything. He knew he made the choice that would inherently grant him more happiness, but it doesn't always feel like that right away and it didn't help that the walls were paper thin. It's hard to fall asleep to your parents yelling and throwing things around in a fight because of a decision you made.

Both of them had generally pretty good track records academically and a long list of achievements to follow it so it wasn't hard for them to find universities either. That's how they ended up with Graviton University in Oregon, it's not an Ivy-league but it's not as bad as BMU either. It really is just a stepping stone in the middle, your performance practically shapes the path you walk on.

The Stan twins have a choice in this AU mostly because they could also afford it, take note- the family is financially comfortable in this AU because Filbrick is one hell of an unscrupulous businessman but very successful. They're not rich but they're comfortable, and that's a lot in the state of the economy nowadays.

Ford has choices in this AU and it's also a very big part to play in why he could turn down the offer at the time and not look back at it with regret. Stan also being on even ground beside his brother is why they don't ever fight about such topics either, he's not ever chasing after Ford— he's standing right next to him.

The subtle differences from canon can genuinely just make a world of difference in the bigger picture. But yeah, it's why I had them go to Graviton University instead. It's a middle-ground and it's also how I can essentially get them to stay in gravity falls instead of ending up elsewhere when I cranked the "weirdness" level pretty low. There's still bits and bobs of it around, but not to the degree of the canon show I would think.

I hope this generally clears up how I wrote or my thought process as to why I didn't have Ford reach for the stars despite having that option and why the Stan Twins are generally this tight knit in my AU.

[queenofapeacefuldawn]

Spy × Family Chapter 108: An Analysis

So, after a two month wait, we finally got a new chapter! And we were SO well fed LMAO!!!

Anyway, as always, spoilers for Spy × Family Chapter 108 under the cut!

We start off the chapter with Melinda nervously explaining to Yor her reason for being "Lunaluna Selena" in disguise: it's a fun hobby!

And, obviously, she's in disguise out of worry about the rumours that might spread if the former First Lady of Ostania dabbles in mysticism: as it might cause problems with her husband. (Though it is messed up that she has to hide her hobbies from her own husband, but we know how Donovan is).

In the middle of Melinda's monologue about why she loves this sort of thing, she drops a rather odd line:

(First of all: DANDADAN reference anyone?) Kidding, kidding, it was probably just a throw-off line, but what we're really focusing on is: Melinda's emphases on the word "Telepathy".

Now, side note, I'm not sure if the emphasis was to draw our, the readers' attentions to the fact that Melinda believes in the concept of telepathy existing, or if Melinda herself is putting emphasis on the word "telepathy", implying she knows something about the project that Anya was made for.

It is a fascinating thing to put in, though: if one's talking about the things they believe in, then putting "telepathy" in the top three seems like an odd choice, especially if more general terms like "superpowers" or whatever exist.

It does seem very intentional on Endo-sensei's part to put in, especially since, as of now, we don't know how much Melinda knows about Donovan's current plans, or even about what he's done before.

It could be a reference to Anya's past, or some sort of red herring so the reveal of Anya's past can be more shocking. I'm not sure. Yet, I choose to believe that Melinda knows something about Anya's past--- something maybe she found out on accident? Which is why she's so terrified of Donovan?

In essence, this chapter basically confirms that Melinda is suffering some sort of psychological abuse at the hands of Donovan, leading to her fear of him. What's more interesting is that Donovan is intentionally trying to drive a rift between Melinda and the boys. Possibly he's trying to isolate her by keeping them under his thumb, so that she doesn't try to "betray" him? Or maybe he's already threatened the lives of the boys in return for Melinda staying, all for the sake of keeping the "happy family man" image up to the public (though we know how messed up the family really is).

These panels. They confirm that Melinda has thoughts about standing up for herself and Damian (and Demetrius too, I guess--- I think it's implied), but the sheer terror of what Donovan might do holds her back. Half a step forward, a whole leap back. She even says, "Fortune telling [a hobby that she loves dearly] doesn't matter either. What am I doing here?"

So. yeah.

[NOTE: I skipped over the tarot reading part initially so that I could talk about Donovan and his abuse, and connect it to the first bit of the chapter. The tarot reading part comes now.

NOTE 2: All the information about the tarot cards comes from Google. I have no knowledge about tarot, so please take this with a grain of salt, and if I make any mistakes, please don't hesitate in correcting me :)]

These are the cards we see initially.

She says the card representing Anya's present is the Four of Cups. According to Google, it means:

The Four of Cups tend to appear when you are feeling discouraged and unmotivated. You may feel as if there is no solution or way forward in your situation. Life has become stagnant, and nothing seems to make you happy or passionate.

(Labyrinthos, Tarot Cards Meanings List)

Which is kind of true in reference to Anya's life as a student. A student's life is filled with studying (God knows I know it), something Anya is apathetic towards. It's also "Plan A" of Operation Strix: through studying, Anya becomes an Imperial Scholar and Twilight makes contact with Donovan Desmond.

Or, it could be an allusion to Melinda's situation: she's discouraged, and feels trapped in her marriage. Nothing makes her passionate anymore, because everything she experiences is tainted by her husband (see: the panel above where she says 'even fortune-telling doesn't matter).

Melinda says that the Death card represents the factors around Anya. There's the obvious joke about "Oh the Grim Reaper's right next to you!" with Yor next to Anya, but the Death card shouldn't be taken literally.

The Death card signals that one major phase in your life is ending, and a new one is going to start. You just need to close one door, so the new one will open. The past needs to be placed behind you, so you can focus your energy on what is ahead of you.

(Labyrinthos, Tarot Cards Meanings List)

This is a reference to Anya's previous life as a test subject, and orphan; and how she's left that past behind and been allowed to actually be a child, and how she's finally being loved as she deserves. How her circumstances, the factors around her are changing. It could also pertain to her physical growth, or maybe it was just there for the joke about Yor being the Grim Reaper (which is still pretty ominous. Who is Yor going to have to kill?)

And, finally, the Star in reverse.

When the Star card is reversed, it means that you are feeling as though everything has turned against you. The challenges that you would normally see as exciting seem instead to make you feel as though you cannot overcome them. You have lost faith in something, whether inside yourself or with something you normally find dear.  Without hope, without faith, we cannot find the motivation to progress forward in the challenges that we face. Where in your life are you feeling hopeless? In what ways do you already feel defeated? And how does that affect your actions? The star reversed asks us to nurture our sense of hope and positive energy to help propel our actions with joy instead of fear.

(Labyrinthos, Tarot Cards Meanings List)

Since this represents Anya's future... it doesn't look to good. It feels intentionally grey and murky, with no clear answer as to what's going to happen in Anya's future, but it still seems pretty bleak.

Overall, these readings don't seem to point to a future that seems too good for Anya.

I am very afraid what's going to happen to her (and to find out what's going to happen to her), but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

We still don't know what exactly Anya means by "This feeling... I think I've felt it before...", especially when it's related to Melinda's fear of returning home and to Donovan. Again, it makes me very nervous for her backstory.

Anya and Yor return to where the rest of the gang is, and---

why is he like this.

After Twilight spends the whole day socializing with the other parents, "pumping them for information", Emile talks about how nice it must be to have a nice mom, which leads to this interaction:

This has a striking similarity to the chapter where Anya confesses about her mind-reading powers to Damian: the reassurance back then that Damian loves his dad, and now, the reassurance that Melinda loves him. Parallels about who he loves and idolizes, and now who loves him.

And, it's also so heartwarming that she specifically takes off her mask: showing her, perhaps, most true self to him, especially due to the fact that she comes from a family of actors, constantly putting on masks.

Speaking of masks... we can see a bit of [REDACTED] bleed through the mask of Loid, and Twilight.

It's the same, pensive expression that we see him wear in Episode 35 (Chapter 56), except it's more... tired. More weary. Less affectionate.

(The panel from Chapter 56)

We see a man imagining What Could Have Been, if the trajectory of his life hadn't changed so drastically: especially at a festival much like the one he's currently at.

We see a man tired of war.

We also see it in Episode 3 (Chapter 3)

This is when he's seeing young boys playing, and thinking of himself and his own friends.

Anya doesn't read his mind, but she does read his expression-

And so, the family man mask comes on, but not quite as properly as he'd like.

We can still see [REDACTED] shine through.

It's the same smile he gives Yor and Anya when Nightfall comes over, the smile with, which Fiona notes, "a tiny hint of real emotion seeping out from beneath it".

We jump to some time later, with Director Gorey asking Loid if he's willing to take on a VIP patient who presents a "challenging" case, which is followed by the inevitable reveal that the patient is Melinda.

I think this implies that Melinda has tried seeing psychiatrists before, but none of them worked out for her, or none of them could figure out what was wrong with her (hence the "challenging").

It's also revealed that Yor suggested Melinda sees Loid, which is greatly boosting his mission.

Gorey says that he suspects she's suffering from an intense case of Persecution Complex, so I searched that up.

People with a persecution complex suffer from the feeling that other people are trying to harm them.

(Cambridge Dictionary)

Given Gorey's diagnosis, I'm wondering if he's implying that Melinda is untrustworthy (which also implies that Melinda might have spoken of her fear of her husband--- perhaps in a roundabout way, which also led to her being classified as "challenging".) Though, for this, we'll need to wait and see next chapter.

FINAL THOUGHTS: I really loved this chapter! It definitely was worth the two month wait (and, I hope Endo-sensei is better, I think he took the break because of poor health). I'm excited for the next chapter! Tell me what your thoughts are!

[yanderenightmare]

Do you normally get any 'ew, you're disgusting' shit in your inbox? I just now posted my first incest fic and got one like 'i hope you don't have any siblings lalala'. Prior to that, I was like "how do these authors go untouched by antis?" but then I realised that it was a tad bit naive of me lol. I was going to respond with a taunt but decided to just delete it because it wasn't worth the effort.

Are they frequent and are they easy to ignore?

Good question! I was actually going to make a post on this, as others have asked me the same thing, so here we go!

♡ Personal experience!

I get my fair share of hate from time to time—more often when I publish things that are more taboo than other excepted things—for example, like you say, incest, as well as bestiality, wide age gap, born-sexy-yesterday readers, etc.

It's an odd thing, as haters will often accept the fact that I write rape for titillation but will take issue with these other tropes. But anyway, we can talk about the nonsensical opinions of haters all day, but it wouldn't really do us any good.

So, here's my advice.

♡ First off, accept that haters are gonna hate!

Some people won't like what you write. And that's fine. The problem is that they feel the need to tell you that—at which point, you'll just have to console yourself by telling yourself that no decent person would be rude to a total stranger whom they don't know the first thing about and, therefore, whatever they have to say warrants neither second thought nor reply.

With that being said, however...

♡ You gotta do what feels right!

Engage or don't engage, do what you need to feel at peace. Sure, you can be the so-called bigger man and ignore all the meanies, but you absolutely don't have to!

Of course, we can be cool as cucumbers and say, "Not worth the effort," but who are we kidding? This is Tumblr, and you're allowed to rant when you want in whatever manner you want!

So, if you feel you gotta bite back to maintain your sanity, then that's what you should!

However, I do believe there's a way to go about it!

♡ Never go to bed angry!

This is my personal advice, but if you ever choose to acknowledge hate or critique, do so with tact and with based and factual arguments instead of slinging heated insults in return.

This way, you walk away from the fight feeling good about what you've said and not worse off than before. In other words, don't stoop down to their level.

I actually feel in many ways that answering hate can be rather therapeutic this way, as you've succesfully turned something negative into soemthing positive!

♡ The difference between hate and critique!

Actually doesn't matter. You're not really obligated to answer either if you don't want to.

But for the sake of differentiating the two: "Ew, you're disgusting" is hateful slander, but "Incest is wrong, and you're actively condoning it by writing what you write" is a genuine critique.

And it bears repeating, you don't have to address either because you don't owe anyone anything.

People are entiteld to their opnions just as much as you're free to disagree, and ignore if you want!

But something I've found is that explaining it to those who don't understand why we write such things, and furthermore why people want to read it without being interested in such things in real life, is actually quite a rewarding thing to do!

And by that, I mean it might make your critics and haters understand and rethink their comments, but it can also help your existing fans deal with their own similar self-loathing, and lastly, it's even great for your own mental health for when you yourself doubt your own mental standing!

Personally, in regard to the example I used above, when I get hit with the "you're condoning this and that" I just play the argument that those who play violent videogames aren't condoning the killing carried out by their avatar. Naturally, when roleplaying a fictional version of ourselves, we're not actually playing as ourselves.

Some people have a very hard time understanding this for some reason.

But anyway, moving on.

♡ Final advice!

Ignore and delete any and all the dumb, off-handed comments you feel like. If and when you want, return their rudeness with a cheeky smile and a slap on their ass. Be as cordial as you can be but as sassy as you feel you must—like an aged Queen who drinks her fair share of likewise wine.

But whatever you do, don't ever make things personal!

Though that's also my personal advice. I think, by making personal attacks, you're not being factual anymore, and you'll only feel worse for it. And by personal attacks, I mean calling people ignorant, dumb, awful, etc. You can, of course, say that their chosen words were in ill taste, but going after them themselves won't make you feel better. So, I'd suggest avoiding it.

Anyway, hope this helps!

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Stray Kids Tea Sessions

Okay, I held off doing this and now that I did this. I can see why I dreaded doing this lol Anyway, kept to my word that I would do this. All of this is alleged, some aren't that wild, but some I just wish I didn't get the messages I get, but fu** it. I am not filtering my readings for anyone, so here it is. Take this with a grain a salt. This is my interpretation of the cards/messages I got. I did not really enjoy doing this, it was kind of tiring. I just did this to test it out and see what I get. I won't say I will not do another group, but it will be a while, until I try another group, because this reading is exhausting, or if I do another group, I will have to do it in segments, until I release another one, so that may take time, we'll see how I feel.

Bang Chan

Things are pretty much handing to him. He has really great manifestation skills. Like, boy seemed to have an easy life. He is pretty much coddled, great loving family environment. He has the power to create the life he wants. Wouldn't be surprised if he understands manifestation and how that works. He's good at manipulating his environment and others around him, doesn't necessarily need to be bad. He's quite shielded and can't cross certain lines or has strong boundaries around him. There is a lack of maturity or a stunted child within him. I think I saw this in his perspective reading. Maybe he wasn't able to be a child. You know how people are stunted, because they never got to be a child, so they remain that way. Balance, fairness and harmony are important to him, so if things are not stabilized, he will struggle. He may come off as mature, but there is a strong inner child there that he hasn't evolved from. But he does try to come off cold, calculated and stern in his decisions. This isn't that wild to me, really, this is all you are giving us lol Okay, I take what they give me.

Lee Know

He is persistent in achieving his goals and moving along in his career. Okay, I see a woman standing in his way. She comes off as like she will help him offer him advice, but she can be brutal with words. She could have beaten him down with her words. He seems pretty defensive around her, like he has to protect his energy and be on guard around her. There is something with water or could be a mixed drink here, so I see in one card, 2 cups of water being mixed together, and the next card, a fish appears out of the cup. I am trying to understand what that means. This is not easy to extract information from this group, so I am struggling here. There is some type of concoction they take or make that help them climb up the pyramid scheme, how I get that is that this card at the bottom has a pyramid on the sand and the person with the cup has their foot on top of that pyramid, so you got to look what you are pulled to on the imagery and come to conclusions as to what that can mean. He's kind of showing me he has to deal with a lot of BS to get to where he is at but will defend it if need be. So, in the middle of this spread there is a man pretty beaten up with a pentacle behind him a bit shattered. This shows me he will defend what he built no matter what. I got even from that cold bi*** referring to the woman I was talking about earlier, like she comes off as trying to help, but she is cold and emotionless and kind of makes things worse. Okay, this one a bit more interesting from what I got from Bang Chan. He gave me some actual tea.

Changbin

He is showing me people or he himself being puppeteered to fit a certain image, okay already got this message before. There are snakes in the industry or within the company. I see him having to be in competition with others. He is showing me whatever desires and creative work he has it pretty much is vaulted. I see them harnessing a lot of their creative energy, so industry folks are not about creativity, but mostly about money, so they focus on work that makes them money. He wants his work to be more creative. They handed him this fantasy or idealized version of what things would be like. He wants things to be more balanced. People to compromise more with the idols. He isn't sharing much about himself, more so about the industry and his struggle as a creative artist, so yeah, that is all he is giving me, moving on. Boy really don't like sharing too much tea about himself. I get it through. I don't push things.

Hyunjin

Well, this industry is mentally tasking and burdensome for him. He has to hide things, which can be a burden to him. I think he hates not being able to express his pain and mental struggles. I see him dealing with depression. The Moon card and 10 of Swords gives me that. His Mom may play a major role in his career, could be one of those Momagers. She may have wanted him to be famous. Umm, getting something dark here of course, but got some blood contract here may have been made, it could between the Mom and company. I just see the 10 of Swords with blood spilled over and knives on the person's back. I can see that as Hyunjin, but than The Empress card, which I see as Mom energy also has blood on some weird dagger next to her spilling into the water and blood contract popped up, so there's that. The Sun and the 6 of Wands gives me Ego, so all he seems to know is to be famous and be an idol. Don't really think he knows who he really is. It was like he was born to be famous. It is like he shines when he is in the spotlight, but behind the scenes he is very, let me say depressed. The Mother card being in the middle just makes me feel she is very instrumental to him being an idol. I wouldn't be surprised if his Mom dabbled in Magic and manifested this life for him. I see her having high standards for her son. I mean as most Asians Mom are, so are we surprised here?

Han

He is also showing me the cutthroat business and how there is competition, and you have to take others out to be on top. Is this with the members or does this have to do with the trainee period, like why are they showing me this? It is like they may always be put against one another. I am getting conquer and defeat and he was able to shine above that and find success. I am not getting great messages from him, it is kind of freaking me out what I am getting, so I didn't really understand why I got the 2 of Pentacles, but the wolf on the card is calling my attention, he looks really creepy and scary to me. And I got the message wolf in sheep's clothing. Ya'll can look up what that means, not saying it. I am not sure he is how he appears. There could be something more sinister to him I am just going to say I don't care, this alleged, ugh this is why I didn't want to do this, His energy kind of creeps me out. Sorry Han stans, but I am not faking what I get. Ya'll can ignore this if you like. I am not going to pretend that I know what this 2 of Cups is, he may have made a pact with someone, who knows. I am not trying to look into that more, kind of done, moving on.

I think that extra protection I have started doing is working, no sickness, but we will see if it continues working for the future.

Felix

He is showing me similar things to his reading. A disconnection, unsatisfied with what people have to offer him, numbness, a lack of emotional connection to the world and others. Something about protective barriers on him. Being coddled, not able to grow up, lack of freedom. This Wheel of Fortune, on the card I see day and night, so this gives me there are two sides of him, a lighter, bright side and a darker side. Once again, nothing new here. He has a strong creative energy. A lot of potential for success. He does have this vibrant inner child in him. I say if he is freely able to express himself, he will thrive, but he cannot, so that is probably where the disconnect comes from. He is stunted and stifled, but there is a light in him that cannot be tamed, or shouldn't. His inner child wasn't able to flourish. There is something about his childhood that they keep wanting to show me but can't fully grasp that. Until that inner child can be freed or expressed. I don't see him being fully happy or satisfied. There is something in his childhood he has not addressed and that will keep him stuck. That is all I am going to share there. I know some of ya'll will be confused, that is all they are sharing. I can't clarify anymore.

Seungmin

There could be something about him wanting to get away from home, maybe step out on his own. Maybe he wanted to face a challenge, maybe he felt coddled at home. This seemed to be his decision, even though he may have been pretty young when he signed. Like in most cases family plays a big role, but he seemed to want to do it on his own. Now, once again similar to Han, there is some pact here. There is some sort of pact, maybe with the company that has to do with water and cups. It is like they make some sort of pledge with water and cups. He is showing they sold them a fantasy, like it will be like this, kind of filling them with hope, but it is not like that. And now he feels like he has to defend himself. Like there are so many obstacles and challenges. Nothing like he thought it would be like. This doesn't seem too wild from what I already learned about the industry and idols, so moving on.

I.N

He isn't showing me anything to crazy, which is what I expected. He is showing me that this is something he wanted as well, wasn't he like a baby when he joined? But he seems pretty coddles and protected. I can see people babying him honestly. He kind of stands on his own. He kind of follows his own inner compass. Although young, childlike and vibrant. He can follow his own guidance and intuition pretty well. He does have a passion or desire to obtain the things he wants. He's not giving me anything wild. He seems just like a normal kid immersed in the idol world, like it is wild how some idols are into the wild stuff, but then you get ones that are just normal, nothing to see here. I adore this boy, he is a sweetheart, but he is too normal that his tea isn't that interesting to be honest. You know what I did get some tea, but wasn't comfortable saying it, but fu** it this is a tea session, and I asked for them to share it, he may like the same sex. I am seeing that. You got the Lovers card with 2 dudes on it and the knight of wands, which could indicate sexual attraction, and he is moving towards the lover's card, remember imagery is important, so yeah, I am interpreting it that way. I am not filtering my interpretations and what I am feeling, so there you go, and I shouldn't filter a tea session lol

Okay, if I do another group. Girlie will need some time, this is not an easy one for me to do, but this group is hard to get information from, so that could be why it was difficult for me. Reading this after doing it. I actually did feel I got interesting messages here, but it is draining to do it at the time.

[qcomicsy]

Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

[ozuzo]

People can't seem to take dirkjake as it is because they think it's lacking in representation, but I would actually say their struggles are better constructed and more believable in canon than they are in most fanon iterations (and they were written over a decade ago!)

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[girl-bateman]

Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍

[bl00dh0rs3]

the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am