#whatever you call stuff that isn't backed by science

[helladventurers]

Ughhhh, looks like I'll need to do 10 sessions with a phsychiatrist before i go ahead with the exams that allow me to get a proper autism diagnosis 😑 i hope i don't get another fucking nutjob this time

[imaredshirt]

Give me a Stan who thinks Fiddleford doesn't know how to throw a punch, much less defend himself in a fight with your average goon, so one morning he takes it upon himself to show the nerd a few basic jabs and hooks and maybe an uppercut or two behind the cabin, because let's face it, there's gonna be a time when Stan can't be there to take a hit for the guy or defend his nerd butt. So he's gonna teach him some stuff for his own peace of mind.

Fiddleford just kind of genially goes along with it, following Stan around the back of the cabin and watching with hands on his hips and a smile as Stan gets into position.

"This is one of the most basic punches in the world, so pay attention, 'cause I'm not gonna show you again," Stan says, knees slightly bent and fists up.

Fidds nods. "You've got my full attention, Stanley."

Stan isn't sure if he's imagining the way Fidds is eyeing him up and down, but he automatically flexes his arms a little more than he needs to. Up ahead, Ford is sitting on a tree stump and taking samples of the air or something (Stan had stopped listening to Ford's explanation once his words went from interesting to Big Science Shit that Stanley Does NOT Care About) and he's watching them with this amused grin, rolling his eyes skyward when Stan won't stop flexing and showing his arms off.

Stan ignores him and rolls his shoulders before jabbing his fists forward in a quick one-two. "There - you catch that?"

Fidds has got his arms crossed now and gives Stan a thumbs up. "Sure did!"

"See, just like this," Stan says, and shows him again despite saying earlier that he wouldn't.

He shows him a few more punches, going over each one a couple times before telling the engineer to mirror him, even getting in close to adjust the guy's scrawny arms and balled fists. He's being real professional about it and everything and doesn't understand why Ford keeps grinning and shaking his head at them, which is making him a little incensed but he stamps it down because Fidds is watching him with this nerdy, dopey smile while letting himself be maneuvered around and he's gotta learn to defend himself 'cause Stan can't stand the thought of some jerkwad wiping that smile off the nerd's face.

"See," he says near the end of the lesson, tapping his fist right against Fidds’s chin. "Do it right and your fist'll hit right here."

Fidds tilts his head a fraction at the touch. "Well alright then, seems easy enough."

"Yeah, like I said, if you do it right. Gimme your hand-" he takes Fidds’s wrist and taps the guy's balled fist against his own stubbly jaw. "Right here. You got that?"

Fidds nods. "Sure do!"

"Good." Stan drops Fidds’s wrist and gets into position again. "Then come on - lay one on me."

Fidds pulls back and blinks at him. "Come again?"

"Hit me!" Stan taps his jaw. "Right here!"

The guy suddenly looks nervous and galnces over at Ford for help. "Hit you? Stanley, I don't think-"

This is what Stan means. Fidds isn't always gonna be able to look to him or Ford to save him. He gets this weird, uncomfortable feeling in his chest at the thought of Fidds facing off against some asshat on his own, and that alone is enough to keep him from letting the guys off easy, if only to get rid of the weird feeling. Maybe a bit selfish but he doesn't care.

"Ah, come on, one little punch ain't gonna hurt ya, Fidds."

"I'm not worried about me," Fidds says, and then frowns when Stan barks a laugh.

"You think you're gonna hurt ME?"

Fidds is still frowning when Ford calls over in an amused, warning tone, "This is not a good idea, Stanely!"

"Just worry about your air test or whatever and leave us alone," Stan calls back. Ford shrugs and scribbles something in his journal, and when Stan turns back to Fidds, Fidds is finally getting into position.

He looks unsure, watching Stan nervously as Stan stands before him with his arms crossed.

"Hey, not bad form - you ready?"

"Well, I suppose so," Fidds says, accent coming in a little thicker than before. "Stan, if you're sure, I should probably warn ya-"

"Don't tell me nothing, just punch me!"

Fidds presses his lips into a line and throws his fist - and jabs Stan on the chin just hard enough to tilt Stan's head half an inch to the side.

"That's it?" Stan guffaws and shakes his head. "That was barely a tap!"

"I don't wanna hurt ya!" Fidds says, sounding so conflicted that Stan gets this urge to pull him into a headlock and ruffle his hair and drive the worry away.

Instead he riles him up.

"Please," he says. "Fidds, look - one of these days I'm not gonna be there to take a hit for you, and then what're you gonna do? Just let some jerk punch ya around?"

Fidds looks slightly perplexed. "Where is this all comin from? No, Stanley, I am NOT gonna just let some jerk punch me around."

"Good! So you gotta learn to defend yourself!" Fidds still looks unsure, so Stan tries a different angle. "Okay, how 'bout this - what if some jerks are beating up on me and Ford, huh? You're just gonna let em?"

Fidds looks up. "What? No, I am not!"

"You're gonna defend us?"

"Dangnabbit, Stan - of course I am!"

"Not gonna let us get our teeth kicked out?"

"What!? No!"

"Then show me!" Stan slaps a hand against his own chin. "Right here, come on! I'm some jerk who just threw your friend Stan to the ground and I'm about to kick him in the gut, what're ya gonna-"

The blow lands hard. Stan's head jerks to the side and he's thrown off balance, and he sees actual stars before his vision clears again and he realizes he's crumpled on the ground. His head swims as hands pull him around onto his back.

"Mother o pearl!" Fidds gasps. He's got his hands on Stan's face, careful touch at complete odds with the punch he'd just landed in the same place. "Are you alright? I am so sorry! I hit ya and you weren't even ready and - you just got me so riled up and I tried to tell ya and I shoulda said earlier instead o just lettin ya show me all those moves, but I just wanted to, well - goddangit, Ford, this ain't funny."

Ford's laughing as he comes up behind them, looking down at where Stan is staring kinda dazedly up at Fidds, who's kneeling by his side in the cool grass. "We did try to tell him, Fiddleford."

"Tell me what?" Stan demands. His jaw is already aching but Fidds’s hands feel kinda good so he doesn't tell him to move.

"Fiddleford was a boxing champion back back in his hometown," Ford says.

Stan blinks. "Bwuh-?"

"Not much of a champion," Fidds says with a wince, but he's blushing a bit as he goes on, "It was never anythin official, but - well, I did win more than a few matches at some backyard parties, see, and - well, people usually don't think I got any hittin power or can defend myself, but my Ma's been all too happy to teach me since I was little, and-"

The guy's rambling, and Stan quits being able to understand what he's saying half way through cause the accent is coming in thick and Ford’s chuckling and standing there looking proud of his best friend and Stan’s a little worried that he's still jarred from the hit, cause when he looks at Fidds kneeling there, one hand one Stan's chest and the other bashfully rubbing his neck while he rambles on - he's still seeing stars.

Later, while Stan sits in the living room with an bag of ice in his jaw and Fiddleford sitting next to him, still rambling about all the times he'd knocked a few guys into the mud in some backcountry hoedown get-together or whatever, Stan can lean back and relax and grin, knowing Fidds is gonna be just fine.

He can't wait to teach him wrestling.

[cyborg-squid]

One of the many things that really struck me about Come Catastrophes or Wakes of Vultures is how Cliff's actions... really seemed to parallel those of the Lateran state? Like, he seems to be pretty clearly not affiliated with it and might be disconnected from the Sankta Empathy, but if you look at his actions and intentions, they pretty clearly parallel those of Yvangelista XI with the Summit of Nations. Both Cliff and Laterano aim to, in my eyes, use violence to control violence. Cliff puts it excellently when he says "Because if I can never end war, I have to settle for the next best thing. To hold its on-off switch in my hands." And Yvangelista basically tries to do the same, on a larger scale, trying to bring all the nations of Terra to the table for world peace, but such a meeting is only possible because of all the guns Lateran has. Cliff spent years building this mercenary empire of his, doing what sounds like black ops coup stuff for the American government.

And we see that the violence these two systems enact, in hopes of one day controlling it, isn't limited to physical violence. Wake of Vultures shows us very clearly how the bank is abusing and killing the people of Davistown, backed up by this idea of violence from mercenaries or government, but isn't called upon until the last minute. And in Lateran you have this literal ethnostate, in Guide Ahead you have these armed civil servants tripping over each other looking for this one mixed-race girl. And it's not directly in the Lateran events, but with the Lateran Church and the 'hands-off' approach it takes with regards to it's influence in Iberia, that's part of what ultimately allows for the Church of the Deep to infiltrate it. These systems, the Lateran government and Church, Blacksteel Worldwide and the Columbian government, don't need to be threatening you directly at gunpoint to get what they want, they hold enough power that simply the idea of them is enough to extort and influence people. And this is the type of power that Cliff and Yvangelista, two entirely different Sankta, independent of one another (afaik), spent years cultivating.

And this kind of brings me to something i'd been thinking about with Andoain (who also parallels Woodrow in his role vs the Pope). There's this Dorothy line, "There's no such thing as mad science", and that's a way you could certainly describe her as a good Mad Scientist, and it's in that way that I kinda think of Andoain, as someone who has, with whatever supernatural thing happened with the Lock and Key that drove him to try and kill his squad, gone Mad With Power, but in a way that's... not entirely wrong. Because so many of his critiscisms of Laterano are correct, and the way he's been building his faith and followers is this creation of the 'Sankta' Empathy, of understanding one another, just without the supernatural component. He's right! And even when he sees God in the Basement, when he realizes that his quest to change Laterano is fruitless, that still doesn't stop him from attempting to help and save those he can, with the power he has.

Similarly, you can see some of this with Woodrow, when Cliff hands him the tablet/phone and he sees the nature of Cliff's war and control, he knows he personally can't control this, but says that no one should. "...They shouldn't. There shouldn't be nobody else like you." Then he shoots the communicator. This is one of the moments that shows, despite Cliff's claims to have his hand on the lever of war, he is not the one in control, in this moment, Woodrow is, by choosing to walk away. And earlier, the bank manager demanding Franka and Liskarm disperce the crowd, they refuse, despite the bank and Cliff ostensibly being the ones in 'control', the possibility of violence at the moment didn't depend on them, but on the individuals, with Franka and Liskarm. And Jessica's "My gun will cry for their sorrow"! The system that Cliff is in 'control' does not do anything for the people of Davistown, in fact it is the one hurting them, but it is the individual violence that Jessica and the others commit through their robbery that enables change, for while they're not able to save Davistown as a whole from being consumed, they themselves are 'saved'.

And one last parallel on an already rambly post: the calls. I couldn't help but notice, the calls Cliff mentions getting from governments, from the ones ultimately in control of him, reminded me of the call Malkiewicz gets at the end of Maria Nearl where he's made spokesperson for the Chamber of Commerce. Here you have Cliff, the 'old', and the calls he gets and is beholden to, that he never thinks of just "letting ring" until Woodrow suggests that to him, and Malkiewicz as the 'young', not seeking power like Cliff did but having it thrust on him, feeling like he can't escape from it, and bound to pick up and answer the call. This idea of the 'old' feeling that they can change the system from the inside with the power they have, yet not doing so and instead perpetuating it, and this idea of the 'young' being so caught up and entwined in a system that they feel they can't move apart from it, and being unable to affect change with the power that he eventually has. I don't really know, but I just felt like there was something there with these phone calls that control.

[whatwooshkai]

Heyyyy for the writing game!!! Ah- I hope 13 hasn't already been done... otherwise 17?

The "lucky numbers ahahaha

"I have a proposition."

Ah, vocabulary. Boulder leans their helm back to look up at Heatwave, who is perched above them, staring down. He must be really bored.

"Yes?" Boulder asks, laying their book in their lap. Heatwave's head tilts slightly.

"There's something in it for you as well," Heatwave continues, a ghost of a smile on his face. "You in?"

"What is it?" Boulder asks, and the smile disappears, just making theirs grow bigger. "You claim you have a proposition but you have not offered one yet."

Heatwave takes a second to compute the sentence, before he sets his mouth in a hard line, his snaggletooth peeking out. "We should dig a hole."

Boulder can't help the grin their smile grows into. "You realize that's all you had to say, right?"

Heatwave matches their expression, grin so wide it makes his optics squint a little. "That's exactly what I like to hear."

They don't bother to tell anyone they're going out, they just transform and take off.

It gives Boulder a little bit of a rush, reminding them of their academy days when a bored Heatwave would talk them into doing stupid things for fun. Boulder was always afraid of breaking the rules and getting in trouble, but when Heatwave had a plan, he made it work. Hell, he could even talk Chase into anything.

They've both loosened up a lot since them, and this is tame compared to some of the stuff the four of them used to get into, but it's nice. To just leave and drive off and just not care for a bit.

Heatwave takes them to a clearing deep in the woods, so clearly this isn't as much of a spontaneous thing as they originally thought. They transform out of their alt modes and Heatwave immediately starts pacing, scuffing the soft dirt to make a blueprint for their hole.

"My proposition," Heatwave announces, "is we dig a hole, and you get to measure water levels or whatever science stuff. But mostly. Hole."

"That sounds great-" Boulder's comm ringing interrupts their sentence, and they are Heatwave make quick optic contact, before Boulder reaches up and silences the call.

The corner of Heatwave's mouth quirks up. "That could've been an emergency."

"If it was you'd be called too," Boulder points out, and Heatwave gives his head a little shake.

"If you say so."

Dropping to their knees, Heatwave and Boulder start digging a hole.

[gemini-sensei]

Reader is popular but Demetri has a huge crush on her but somehow they end up having sex and Reader is really surprised because he is like a sex god and she's never had sex that good before

This dynamic 🤤🤤 it's my shit

Demetri Alexopoulos x Popular!Chubby!Reader

CW: monstercock!Demetri, mean girl!Reader, rough sex, multiple orgasms, mating press, begging, pet names: good/pretty girl, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink. (unedited)

"Oh my god," Yasmine sneers, her eyes narrowing as she looked down the hall. "Look at that geek."

Reader turns her head and giggles as she sees the one and only Demetri Alexopoulos walking their way. As he walks down the hall, he carries a large box diorama in his arms. It's decorated like an old room and filled with little painted figures inside. He's obviously recreated some historical event, but what really catches the girls' eyes is the costume he carries over his shoulder that matches his project. He holds his head up, clearly proud of his work, and the whole thing gives off big nerd energy.

Reader covers her mouth, hiding her laugh fairly obviously. "Oh wow."

"There's no way he's not a virgin," Yasmine whispers, her smile mean and wicked. She gives Demetri an uninterested look and speaks louder so he hears her. "No girl would ever want to fuck a guy like that."

He looks over, his bright expression dampening. His eyes dart between Reader and Yasmine, but settle on Reader in anticipation for her reaction.

Reader frowns and crosses her arms over her chest. She gives him a look up and down, then scoffs. "Right? What a nerd."

He cast his eyes down and he turns away, giving them the shoulder as if ignoring them. However, he can't. The girls are laughing behind his back even though he's right there. He hears them, but walks away.

😈😈😈

Reader twirls her pencil as she stares off into space, hardly paying attention to her science teacher. There are better things to think about than boring old science; it isn't as if any of that stuff has anything to do with her anyway. She watches the clouds roll by, that is until she hears the teacher call her name.

The class is getting paired off for research papers. It has to do with something about nature and climate change, but she hadn't been paying too much attention to all that when the teacher explained it. She's hoping to get paired up with someone super smart so she didn't have to do too much of the work.

"You'll be working with Mr. Alexopoulos."

Score! she thinks, a self-satisfied smile stretching over her lips. She looks over at Demetri, who is in the middle of turning bright red. Bringing her hand up, she flutters her fingers at him, laughing when his blush intensified. What my luck! A total nerd to do this little paper for me.

The bell rings overhead and everyone jumps up to leave. Reader takes her time, watching Demetri put away his notes, then she stands and walks over to his table. He looks up at her and his mouth falls open, as if he's staring at precious jewel. He doesn't say anything, which is perfectly fine with Reader.

"We can work on this whole paper over at my place," she tells him in a sugary sweet tone. She knows she should slather the sweetness on him after this morning's announcement of his virgin status. So she bats her eyelashes at him and smiles. "That's okay with you, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, totally fine with me," he stammers. He stands up and bumps his knee into the table in the process. He winces, but shakes it off fairly quickly as Reader laughs at his misfortune. He tries to play it cool. "Whatever you want."

"Do you drive?" she asks.

"No..." he answers lamely.

"That's okay," she assures him, smiling up at him. "Just me in the parking lot after school and we can go get it over with."

"Okay, see you..." She turns away sharply and walks to the door. He stares after her, starstruck. "...after school."

😈😈😈

Hours laters, Demetri finds himself sitting in Reader's bedroom. It's spacious, with enough room for a large bed and a little coffee table set up with a sofa in the corner. He has his textbook clutched in his lap and all his notes scattered about the table as he sits with her on the small couch. Their knees are touching and it's distracting him because it only serves to remind him how close she is.

For a girl that's super popular, she's actually pretty smart. Correction, he's learned that she only acts dumb in school. When he caught on to her hints for him to do all the work himself, he shut it down as nicely as possible, and then she had no problem jumping in and typing up some notes while he read from the textbook. He can't help watching her work, even though it was just some keystrokes on her laptop.

"This is so boring," she moans, setting her laptop down as they got to the end of the chapter.

She leans back and stretches her legs out. He can't help watching, his eyes dragging long her legs. She catches him looking and smirks, deciding to tease him a little. After all, it's obvious to her that he has a crush on her. She shimmies and stretches, making her dress ride up and expose more of her thighs. Then she stands up and continues to stretch, bending over to touch her toes, knowing her dress is a little too high...

Demetri gasps as he sees her panties between her thick thighs. He adverts his eyes, his cheeks warming up. He doesn't know if he's supposed to say anything or not, but in the meantime, his pants grow tight under the textbook.

Then his mind goes back to that morning. What an embarrassment to be called out as a virgin! He wants to set the record straight.

"i'm not a virgin, you know," he blurts out.

She turns to him, startled that he said anything about the topic at all. It wasn't exactly the topic of their previous discussion, and certainly not where she thought her teasing was going. "What?"

"I'm not a virgin like Yasmine said. I... I've had sex before."

She stares at him, still in a state of shock. Then she stands tall and crosses her arms over her chest. "Oh yeah? And who have you had sex with?"

"Well, I really shouldn't divulge that specific information..."

She scoffs and laughs at him. "Oh man, you're such a liar."

"I'm not lying."

"Then prove it."

He tosses the textbook aside and before she can see the sizable bulge in his pants, he pulls her down onto his lap. She gasps as she feels it press against her while he has her straddle his thigh. Then he pulls her in for a kiss. It's hard and has something to prove, which is quickly accomplished when as he puts his hand on the back of her neck and deepens the kiss. His tongue in her mouth before she really has time to think about it, and then he's sucking on hers as soon as she's processed everything else.

She's moaning and grinding down on his thigh, a wet patch quickly forming on her panties and transferring onto his jeans. She holds onto him for stability, his shirt clutched in her hands tightly.

He pulls away from her, leaving her tongue to hang out of her mouth, a thick string of saliva connecting it to his lips before it break. He tears his shirt off, ripping it from her hands and leaving her with nothing but his bare chest to hold on to.

"Wrap your arms around my neck," he told her, voice husky and panting. It sends shivers up her spine and she does as told, at which point he wraps one arm around her waist and his opposite hand grabs her ass. Then he stands up and she squeals, her arms tightening around him. He grunts into her ear, "I've got you, pretty girl."

As he carries her over to the bed, she things, Who are you and what have you done with Demetri?

Then she's dropped onto the bed and she bounces on top of her fluffy duvet. She looks up at Demetri and sees his darkened eyes, her pussy clenching around nothing. In the following instant, his hands are under her dress and pushing it up, grabbing and groping at her pudgy belly and fat tits. She moans and whines as he rubs his thumbs over her nipples, then roughly pulling her dress over her head.

His eyes drink in her nearly nude figure and she lays out for him, enjoying having his eyes on her. She undoes her bra and throws it away, letting her panties follow.

"Good girl," he tells her. He undoes his belt and jeans, shoving them off with his boxers, wasting no time. He smirks when she gasps at the sight of his cock. "Like what you see?"

She whimpers, closing her legs. "I-I don't know if that'll fit."

He gets onto the bed with her and crawls over her. He dives down to capture her lips with his and she moans, throwing her arms around him. His cock head bumps her wet folds and she jumps, but he lets it slide over her entrance slowly. He lays his cock on her belly as they make out, his hips pressed against hers.

When he pulls away, she looks down at his cock as she whimpers. "It's so big."

"Are you saying no?"

She looks up at him, then shakes her head.

"Then trust me. It'll fit," he assures her, then smirks. "Especially after I get a taste of you."

He then proceeds to move down her body, leaving ghosts of kisses along her skin. She whines with need as he teases her, kissing her inner thighs and over her hips before diving between her legs. When he throws her legs over his shoulders and buries his face in her cunt, she gasps softly, then moans as his tongue laps at her wet folds.

She reaches down to put a hand in his hair, gripping tightly at the dark strands as a suggestion to slow down. It's one he doesn't take and she says nothing of it as she sighs with pleasure, tugging on his hair as he slips his tongue in and out of her. He's groaning lowly each time she pulls on his hair and it only drives him to eat her out better, eventually getting to the point that it's a sloppy, noisy mess happening between her cunt and his tongue.

He makes her come hard and doesn't even stop tongue fucking her, seeing her through her orgasm so that he can quickly bring her to another one. When she squirts the second time, he lets his mouth hang open to catch as much of it as he can, then he's sitting back on his knees to look down at her.

Reader is a glorious panting mess under him, glistening wet between her legs and all over her thighs. He runs his hand over her pussy lips, spreading her wetness all over and getting it all over his hand before he strokes his cock. He watches the rise and fall of her chest as she watches him lube himself up with her essence. Knowing her eyes are on him turns him on that much more and he comes to sit between her legs, rubbing the head of his cock between her wet folds. He makes her whine and whimper when he hits it against her swollen clit and he smiles down at her.

"Please, please put it in," she whimpers under him. Her hips push up to seek out more friction from his cock. "Please..."

"Are you begging for me?"

She stays quiet for a moment before nodding. "Yes."

"Good girl," he mutters, making her hole clenches around nothing. "Beg some more."

"Please, Demetri, I need you," she cries out, pathetically trying to rut her hips up to his. All it does is make rub her cunt over his length. "Please fuck me. Please please please."

He bites his lips as he watches her, then grabs behind her knees and pushes them up to put her legs over his shoulders. She whines as he slowly drags his cock over her pussy until the tip comes to her wet, open lips. Pre cum leaks from his slit and smears over hole, making his groan. Unable to tease her or himself any longer, he pushes the head in and watches it sink into her needy and tight cunt. It pops in and he feels like she's trying to strangle his tip.

"Fuck, you're so tight," he grunts, but continues to push into her. All Reader can do is moan under him, clawing at the bedsheets. He pulls out a few inches and pushes them back into her, working her open so she can take his whole cock. He does that ever so often, watching her cunt stretch around his thick length. "Feels so good. Do you feel good, Reader?"

She nods with a soft, low whine. Her fists are clenched tight with the bedsheets as she feels him sink into her further and further. She's watching the point where they're connected, already panting hard as her walls squeeze around his shaft. It's so big, she feels him reaching depths she had no idea were actually possible.

When he reaches the half way point, he starts trusting in order to work the rest of himself into her. He take ahold of her knees again and pushes them down to her chest. She squeals and he feels her open up for him just a little more, so he pushes into her until his hips meet her ass.

"Oh my god!" she lets out. Her legs are shaking and she reaches up for him, only able to grab his hands that are hooked behind her knees. She feels him in her guts and butted up against her cervix, making her babble almost incoherently. "Do fuckin' deep. You're gonna destroy me... Fuck me up..."

"I'm gonna ruin you for any other cock," Demetri grunts. He stays still, letting her get used to the feeling of his big, fat cock stretching her out and reaching so deep. "You're not gonna want anyone else, pretty girl."

He slips a hand from under her grip and reaches down to grope and squeeze her tit. She moans and tries to wiggle under him, but he has her folded in half and pressed into the mattress tight. As he toys with her nipple, her eyes roll up and her cunt gushes warm arousal. With that, he starts to pull back, only a few inches, before slamming back into her.

She screams as he batters her poor cervix, as if trying to beat it open. His pace is hard, but not too rough. It's well paced and even, allowing any changes should she ask for them; either to slow down or be gentle. Despite his dominance and need to prove her wrong, she felt secure under him. If anything, the position he had her in made her feel so safe - she didn't have to do anything but take it. There was something so glorious about it.

As he fucks her, it's loud. Her cunt continues to gush slick and make loud squelching sounds as he pushes in and out of her. She's screaming and trembling under him, his balls slapping against her ass as her thighs shake. She doesn't even try to be quiet, not that anyone else is around to hear. It only means she can't hear his low grunts as he watches his length disappear in her fat cunt.

She's so close already, the vein running along his shaft rubbing against her g-spot with each thrust. Her poor clit sits swollen and throbbing as he fucks her, unable to do anything about it. She wants to, but her brain is too foggy to think about touching herself, let alone actually doing it. All she can do is lay there and cry out for Demetri to make her come.

" 'm so close! Please, please, I wanna come! Please make me come, Dem! Please please please!"

He licks his lips, watching her hazy eyes. He tweaks her nipple and makes her yelp. "You wanna come?"

She nodded vigorously, whining loudly.

He drags his hand down her body, groping at her soft belly as he makes his ways down to her clit. He presses his thumb into it and rubs fast circles into it, making her cry out loudly. She struggles to try and move with the jolts of pleasure, but soon comes to a stop as it only takes a few strokes to her bundle of nerve to make her come.

Her body quakes under him, her head thrown back as she calls out his name. her orgasm washes over her, making a wet mess between them as she creams over his fat cock. It makes a thick ring around his back and clings to her stretched out pussy lips, adding a loud smack-smack-smack to the song being made between their bodies.

Accompanied by her hoarse voice screaming his name with a chorus of yeses.

Velvet walls constrict around him, her cervix puckering as she tries to milk him dry. It's enough to push him over the edge.

He makes two hard thrusts and bottoms out in her tight, clenching cunt before he falls apart. He presses himself against her harshly, groaning her name as his heavy balls draw up and his thighs tremble. He comes inside her, watching her blissed out face as she gasps at the first torrent of his hot cum filling her.

"Fuck, fuckfuckfuck, good girl. My fucking pretty girl. Take my cum. Fucking take it," he grunts, then leans down to kiss her. He squishes her thighs into her soft belly and she moans, but he eats it up as he presses his lips to hers. She reaches up and grabs the back of his neck, whining into his mouth. He mumbles hotly, "Take me so well, pretty girl."

There kiss doesn't late long, as they're panting messes and need the air. He can feel the way he's filled her with a hefty load, some of it leaking out around the tight seal around his cock and dripping down his balls. As it all comes to an end, he starts to pull out of her and more of their mixed cum gushes out of her Once the tip of his cock pops out, it's like a waterfall that makes a puddle under her ass. He just eases her legs down and starts massaging her sore thighs and hips.

"How was that for the supposed virgin?" he asks.

She hums, looking up at him as he awaits her answer. All she can muster up is a smile and a feeble "totally not a virgin...."

Then she looks down at her gaping, stuffed full hole. All she can see is her cum covered thighs and mound, feeling the way it twitches from the intense fuck she just had.

"You came inside me..."

His hands continue to work into her pudgy thighs, his lip caught between his lip as he drops his eyes to her used cunt. Another fat glob of his cum leaks out and he scoops it up with his fingers before pushing it back into her. "And?"

She moans, "I could get pregnant."

He can't help grinning. "Good. Let everyone see how good I fuck you."

Her hole clenches around his fingers and he chuckles. He leans over her and kisses her, pulling his digits from her sensitive pussy. Gathering her up in his arms, he pulls her close and lays with her on top of him. They make out on her bed, knowing good and well this won't be the only time they do this.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

stan: you can seriously get scientific names like that? "Spongiforma squarepantsii" is an actual fucking scientific name?

ford: they did have to fight a bit to get the name approved, but yes. they argued that they could name it whatever they liked, regardless of the science involved, and i have to agree. the best names in science are always the more fun ones. one of my personal favorites is "Gelae baen".

stan: right, yeah, isn't there a protein or some shit called "pikachurin", too?

ford: yes, yes there is

stan: i wonder how they get away with stuff like that

ford: it's not the worst case out there!

stan: really?

ford: really! after all, i'm cursed with the knowledge that i have to tell people i have six fingers because of a mutation in my sonic hedgehog gene :D

stan: your...soni-

ford: polydactyl has existed as far as back as human history can show. and i have to tell people that i have it because of a FUCKING SEGA CHARACTER-

[starlightswordfight]

"jeremy if this is another hc post I'm going to kill you" bad news

castaway nonsense PART TWO

– schnauz is deathly afraid of water. it unsettles him deeply, largely because of past experience. do you SEE his treasure catalogue entry for the blue paint?? who "swims out" for the "last time" in a swimming pool???? someone fucking DIED

– on a slightly similar note, he laughs when he's nervous!

– he is Perpetually Nervous

– I think molly would REALLY like the evil skeleton wizard memes that have taken over my brain for the past several years. "not me being evil shadow skull" and no one knows what the fuck she's talking about

– molly writes fanfiction

– will let people borrow her camera if you ask nicely

– speaking of molly. her and patch and dash should be best friends forever. same home planet and they all do stupid shit. jin is also involved and they're the voice of reason

– dash has a lot of fidget toys. on him at all times

– wears those jackets where it's just an anime character wrapped around them all the way all bizarre like. he doesn't think it's a good design by any means it's just really funny

– frisé's favorite instrument is the didgeridoo

– also she's intersex. I can do whatever I want

– hitting frisé with the singing/humming/tapping on stuff as stims beam

– construction work is super fucking loud so I think corgwin just would not be bothered by sudden/incredible noise anymore. it just reads as background stuff to him! that or he like genuinely isn't picking up on some of it at all, it doesn't register. frequent tinnitus haver. he might be going deaf

– corgwin is tumblr famous. the pikmin universe tumblr equivalent anyway. inspired by the headcanon generator that told us in the pikmin server I'm in that charlie lit a school on fire and got away with it and that the rescue corps killed princess diana

– think about it. he'd share fun building facts. niche internet micro celebrity and everybody loves him

– lapi is also tumblr famous

– he likes frolicking around outside For Enrichment but he also does it in the rain and sometimes comes home sick

– guilty of making sketchbooks into renderbooks and taking several years to complete them. "but it has to be perfect" That Is The Devil Talking

– horatio is not immune to the fog

– he has a VERY specific skillset. like. like stupid specific. the guy is the most proficient xylophonist you've ever met but he can't cook. knows how aeronautics works but his phone call game is BAD. give him an old movie from decades back and he can tell you what it is and who acted in it and exactly where he was when he first saw it, easily. if you ask him for directions anywhere he'll crumble and die

– he wrote his ID badge like that. it was fully and completely on purpose. horatio thinks it's funny as hell

– françois really likes bugs! sees them all the time in his work even if his studies are flora centric. while on pnf-404 he probably talks about it a LOT with dalmo. botany/environmental science major who minored in entomology

– I just do not think he'd be afraid of them and that is beautiful. he allows nothing to dissuade him. he has pet spiders it is wonderful

– OKAY YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS YOU CAN GET AT THE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER AND IN OTHER PLACES WHERE IT'S LIKE ROCK SAMPLES FROM FOREIGN SPACE BODIES?? AM I INSANE??? in the little capsules and shit ????? yeah kit has those

– astrophysics lover. adores space science. worked at a planetarium before meeting osa. I don't remember if this contradicts the established lore and I am too tired to go back and check so if im wrong you can pelt me with stones and tomato

– osa lets him ramble on about it but in all honesty he does not know what the fuck kit is talking about half the time ever. ever

– vice versa! osa also has a huge nerd thing and it's world history. which makes sense for an archaeologist. I don't mean modern history either I mean ANCIENT

– fawks would unironically endorse the idea of a cybertruck but it never comes to fruition because everyone says it's stupid and he feels insulted and he gives up and sulks about it

– but he'd specialize. I know he would. he gets specific with it. good for him! my money is on prehistoric archaeology, stuff back before written text, and language, and any history that could be recorded with the power of words. which is why travelling to pnf-404 was so fucking important to him, he's been trying to construct something that would fill in the gaps of that lost starfolk history and this WAS the exact sort of thing that he was looking for

– technically they're doing geoarchaeology together. yes that's a subfield

– he is a tech bro and everybody thinks this is stupid and dumb also

– chewy

[ca-suffit]

i agree when it comes to female characters whatever their origins, I think the showrunners did the best they could. I did find weird that anne rice never wrote any queer female characters, it's all subtext. the books are really filled with sexism and while anne rice wrote the mayfair's witches, with a main female characters it's still full of incestuous rape and I couldn't believe amc took the decision to make an adaptation of those books. Just the whole stuff with 13 years old mona mayfair... I really never understand why anne rice wasn't comfortable with her female characters. anyway we could still have merrick in iwtv. they could change some elements of her plot.

tw csa

Anne Rice included a lot of themes that are popular and common still in modern stories and ppl tend to not understand the main difference of why ppl take offense to Anne's writing and not others. Case in point, this thread I responded to the other day on twt:

Here is the source (from her official website) for what OwlsGoldberg was referencing (thnx to them for sharing this link in the thread too) "O.K. I just read a book I recommend. It's called THE DEADLY FEAST by Richard Rhodes. The book centers around a man named Carleton Gajdusek. Carleton Gajdusek is a Nobel Prize winner and he's in prison--apparently for fondling a 14 year old in a shower. I have not seen the court record and I'm not in any way qualified to judge what goes on. All I want to say is that I highly recommend that you get the book. That the contribution of Carleton Gajdusek to medicine and to science has been fantastic and that I personally am looking into the whole question of child molestation, children's rights, because it concerns me. I remember being a young adult, and I remember being real angry that I wasn't allowed to do things that other adults were doing. I was working full time and I was living in a rooming house and I didn't like being classified as a teenager, because somebody wanted to sell me something expensive. I know I sound angry--I am. I am angry. But we've got to revise our concept of teenagers in this country. If we want to stop the crime in this country we've just got to realize that 14 and 15 year old people are adults, they are not children. And leading them to believe that there is a fundamental difference between play killing and real killing."

That's not even all of it for that twt thread, but u get the point. Nobody can ever criticize anything with Anne Rice without ppl saying it's just misogyny or ....whatever that accusation of queerphobia for a cast member is about (there was no clarification who that's referencing but I'm guessing it's Sam Reid bcuz this fandom rides hard for white queerness in him / Lestat at any chance, especially in order to silence other issues). It's always easy for these ppl to erase everything about anything else except "victimization" of a rich white woman. This only happens within the fandom too, as most ppl outside it don't respect Anne Rice at all for her behavior or writing....and that's without even knowing the depths of this kind of stuff. U couldn't pull this crap on any person on the street, they'd rightfully think ur terminally online and fucking weird.

Anyway, back to the point about themes. Anne Rice had repetitive themes that ppl will argue are for "the genre." The thing is tho....it has to still serve a purpose to the story to be any good. Most of the time (at least for my knowledge of TVC books), there isn't a reason to have these things present. She simply has a fixation on them and a lot of them are things that hurt women just for the sake of doing it. The reader is also uncomfortably made to feel like this is all supposed to be ok too, which is the main issue ppl have. It's not critical or intentionally envoking horror and dread....it's just saying "this is what being a girl/woman is" and giving the message to love ur abuser (most often a very old white man in TVC), which many survivors of a lot of things find triggering af.

Mentioning Merrick too, that's a character I rly liked and yet was wasted all over. The book with her name is narrated by David Talbot, this elderly, white, British pedophile, and we spend more time hearing his gross thoughts about her as a child and other similar shit in his life (always with underage poc) instead of spending time with her in her own head as an adult. Or Louis, for that matter, who is also more who the book is about than David, yet Davis is our narrator.

There's a lot more I could write but I'd never stop tbh. It's clear to most everyone who isn't finding excuses that Anne Rice just wasn't a good writer and had so many issues with misogyny and a lot of other things. I've never seen any other author excused so much from criticism, especially one who was so obviously known in life as being a rly unlikeable person, particularly to her own fanbase. If it weren't for other ppl, there wouldn't even be a fandom for her work. She v much almost destroyed it by herself.....but she's dead now, so ppl have been quick to start rewriting history and accusing others of anything they can think of to avoid criticism. Just like she always did.

[onskepa]

Unlista chapter 1

Hey hey hey!! here is where the series begins! Had to re-write this a couple of times! Hopefully this is good! Enjoy! <3 Uniltsa series

[first pov]

I expected a light, I expected some holy gate to heaven or if some miracle, the hospital. But instead, I opened my eyes to see metallic walls and floors, full of lights in weird styles. Funny enough I dont have a headache despite being hit by a truck. Still, looking around I immediately notice, this isn't some health facility. This doesn't look remotely like anything I know at all! Looking down at my hands and legs, its my body, I am still the same me, thats good. So, where the fuck am I?

Looking down, I almost screamed the top of my lungs. There is a big, blue giant thing in the same room as me. Quickly yet quietly I moved to the farthest part of the room. Honestly I should be screaming but who out there will help me? Am I being kidnapped?! Nothing made sense to me. My head was delirious and I am just assuming so much none sense in my brain.

Suddenly the blue thing moved and groaned and muttered something under its breathe. So it talks?

"ean...? up already? thats new" that voice.......there is no freaking way.....

I couldnt help it, my mouth moved on its own, "l-lo'ak...?".

The blue being sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. The familiar hair style, the voice, the clothing, the FREAKING STRIPES!!

"yeah?" he responds. I just stared at him. Getting a good look at his face. He is real. Lo'ak is real. Getting closer to him I was just amazed. If lo'ak is real then.....

Quickly I ran out of the room and out into the unknown facility. Cold metal everywhere, high tech computers, holograms, sci-fi looking stuff everywhere! It was a lot in one sight.

[third pov]

The girl could help but laugh. Laugh like was some joke to her. Many of the science guys turns to stare at her. Confused, norm stepped closer to her. "hey....you ok? lo'ak said some joke of the century or what?" he asked but the girl kept laugh. Lo'ak stepped out of the room being just as confused as the rest.

"I take she had a good sleep??" another familiar voice was heard. Spider, walking up to the three. He looked down to see his friend laughing, not like something was funny, but laughing like there is something she cant believe.

She stopped laughing and quickly got up. "I NEED A MINUTE!!" she shouted and ran back in her room.

"is she having her-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"nope too early to deal with this" norm held his hands up and left. That left lo'ak and spider looking at each other in confusion. This is definitely out of the range of what their friend does. Spider feeling concerned knocked on the door, "hey uniltsa? you ok?" he asks. No answer. Turning to lo'ak who shrugged his shoulders. Before anything else is said, the doors opened once more, with their friend wide eyes.

"w-what did you say?" she asks nervously. "uniltsa? you know we call you that since forever" lo'ak provides.

[first pov]

ok ok. Uniltsa. A nick name. Same with spider. I can go with that. I dont know if my name is the same in this world. "y-yeah" i muttered out. Taking a deep breathe I tried to keep my cool. "haha sorry, I honestly dont know what happened to me. I guess I must have had a crazy dream last night" I laughed it out scratching my head. They seem to buy it. "just give me a another minute to change yeah?" I shut the door once more and looked around for whatever clothes there might be. In a box at the corner were....stuff? There were what I guess are loinclothes and tops with beads and feathers. Did this world me dressed like a na'vi? like spider? There were still things I am so confused about but I just gotta roll with it.

Putting some of the......clothes on, I felt super naked. I remember that na'vi don't care much of exposed body, but still! I looked at a mirror for the first time. I dont look all that different from real world me. Speaking of, what happened to my body? are my parents ok? Parents? do I have parents in this world? Taking a deep sigh once more I collected myself again. I think I look fine enough.

Leaving the room to see lo'ak and spider chatting. "So you finally calmed down with whatever was going on?" lo'ak asked me. So crazy he is talking me. "Y-yeah, I'm good!" I quickly responded. Not much of a reaction with what I am wearing. I take it that is a good sign.

"well ready to go? we're gonna miss breakfast" lo'ak said as he grabs my hand. The size was massively big. Seeing him on the tv screen is one thing, but to have him in front of me and really feel his hand. Wow.

[third pov]

Uniltsa, as they called her that, was confused but did her best not to show it. Lo'ak grabbed her hand and lead the way out. She noticed they were heading towards the exit of the laboratory. Remembering clearly from the movies, the pandora air was toxic to humans. Where as the masks. Why isnt spider getting a mask? Scared deep down, she took a deep breathe and the doors open to the outside world.

She closed her eyes, waiting for something, but that something never came. She opened her mouth, letting the pandora air flow in her lungs. Uniltsa wasn't gasping, not short of breathe, nothing. Nothing like how she remembered from the films. Something changed for sure.

Spider took a deep breathe, soaking in the sun and the fauna. "Damn, your invention never fails uniltsa. Come on, I know tuk is the gonna get the good ones before we make it!" spider says as he makes a run for it. Lo'ak shouted after him, and before uniltsa knew it, lo'ak picked her up in his arms and ran to meet up with spider.

Uniltsa make a squeaking sound. Lo'ak picked her up. Lo'ak is carrying her in his arms like she weighs nothing, Lo'ak who is real, breathing, living, his skin she can touch.

As he ran, uniltsa looked all over their surrounding. The trees, the plants, the insects, the sky, the water, the flower, all of it. It was real. Pandora is real. If this is truly a dream, uniltsa wishes to never wake up.

And that is it for chapter 1! chapter is definitely already in the works, wanna make this good for everyone! Hope you all enjoyed it! until next time!

Uniltsa = dream of, dream about, dream (that)

Taglist: @tojisleftarm

[merklins]

BEHOLD! THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

Various hlvrv characters as ponys (: A full list does indeed exist, BUT! These are the silly guys I've drawn for you today. Under the cut, as I! Have now gone into WAY more detail than I thought I would haha.

Player- A Pegasus, inspired by the European Turtle Dove and Komorner Tumbler Pigeon! (He is not pictured here BUT. I also have a Saxon Fairy Swallow assignment set aside for Power Trip) I'd probably give him more armor in the future for the HEV suit, BUT! Little leg guards is what he's got for now. And also a little band on one leg like you see on pigeons for tracking and scientific purposes. Because SCIENCE and BLACK MESA! And honestly I thought it'd just look cool for him to have the little lambda band on his leg after all's over with and he isn't carrying around an entire HEV suit anymore. The other front leg is where he would put anything else, like friendship bracelets or "hey hold onto this for a minute" or what have you.

Doc- A Pegasus, BUT BETTER! After an accident in the Green Department of the rainbow factory, he now glows... GREEN! Surprising! And also she has various bat pony traits Which she now uses her epic and cool inventions to help with. Like the robot arms! He's inspired by a Rufous hummingbird, mostly. Actual flight is finicky because of the hummingbird and bat pony wing combination, BUT! They can indeed hover and zip a little! As they deserve. (This drawing was done before I picked hummingbird specifcially, but now she's got much tinier wings like a hummingbird, that are feathery at the base but extend out into more bat-like wings!)

Loverboy- As Gordon B he would be an Earth Pony, BUT! There's this wonderful wonderful Generation 3 episode where- [I am sent to the abyss for referencing this single episode for the third time on blog] WHERE THE EARTH PONYS GET HUGE MAGIC GIANT BUTTERFLY WINGS THAT LOOK SO AWESOME AND COOL. Loverboy is that (:

(THE EPISODE IS CALLED TWO FOR THE SKY)

Sleepless- A Griffon! Violet-Backed Starling is the main inspiration, but I DID take a little bit from the White-Breasted Ground Dove as well. The other half that isn't a bird I used a Clouded Leopard because. cloud... fog... the purple stuff... it was a REACH, but it looks cool so I win either way. I didn't draw it in this one, but I imagine his regular sleeping mask is a little more like a cowl you'd see in Falconing. One of the masks that slide on and cover the entire upper face. Also I know Griffons are basically pony sized, but also I write the canon here and Sleepless gets to be taller than ponies by a large margin. Just for fun, a little treat for me.

Valentine- A Unicorn! But as opposed to other unicorns I have slotted in the hlvrv roster, they take a lot of inspiration from that classic unicorn look. You know the one, probably. A lot of MLP redesigns change the unicorns to look like it and its SO cool. But Spork and Valentine are the only ones I really did that with this time around, other then a couple guys who got the little unicorn beard. You also probably know the one. I think I stole their cutie mark from somewhere by mistake, so apologies for that, BUT!! In other news, Valentine and the Love Letters all very VERY specifically have the little heart-shaped hoof thing going on. For the Aesthetic, y'know?

CLOWN NEO FUNNY GUY CLOWN NEO!! Neo himself is an Earth Pony, BUT! In Nightmare Circus? He has all that cool dressage that carousel horses and circus ponies wear SUCH AS! One of those cool decorative head pieces that are meant to make them look like a unicorn. EXCEPT. Because this is a dream and you can do whatever you want, It ACTUALLY works as a functional magic horn and he can pull all KINDS of magic tricks and shenanigans with it!

AAAAAND PING FOR FRIEND WHO RAMBLED WITH ME FOR HOURS ON THE MATTER TO HELP ME ASSIGN THEM ALL! YES, ALL OF THEM! @bbeeohazardd

[asexual-doctor]

Season 8

Terror of the Autons 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

Weird that I would ever say that but I kind of wish this episode had had a couple more parts. I didn't get to feel anything for the secondary characters, especially Rex, I wished we'd seen him fighting against the Master's control a bit more, especially concerning his dad. The Autons are still creepier than in New!Who, especially the big headed guys touring in a bus like a weird boysband. This incarnation of the Master is probably one of the best, he's classy, shows very little emotion and is ruthless. I really really love him. But I'm afraid I can't say the same for Jo (yet?). I miss Liz. And I'm mad that they replaced her with someone that doesn't know anything about science so she can just "assist" the Doctor by bringing him tea and making phonecalls for him. In this house, we spit on mysoginy.

The Mind of Evil 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑

Mike Yates, my beloved. Really, he's the real hero of this episode. I think I had liked this episode better when I first watched it. I like the idea, the machine that feeds off evil thoughts, the peace conference, the missile. But I felt that there was too much coming and going, half of the time Jo and Three were escaping from prison to be caught two seconds later. I did like the Master and the Doctor (briefly) collaborating but it was very short.

The Claws of Axos 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

I liked this one. The organic ship, all linked to the Axons and to axonite was very very cool, very much like the TARDIS (and I don't remember if the fact that TARDISes are grown was already a thing or if it came later). Visually, they were ugly but if you can pass that, the concept was interesting and well handled. I'm obviously still a slut for the Doctor and the Master cooperating (actually maybe more of a slut for the Master and the Brig collaborating, oh my god!), especially with Three trying to make everyone think he's done with Earth and is just abandoning ship when shit hits the fan. Very well done. And of course, baby is still stuck on Earth and we still get to have him bitch about the Brig and that's really all I want. And I still don't like Jo. She was better in the previous episode but she really annoyed me here, please give me back Liz.

Colony in Space 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

Finally an episode that isn't on Earth in the 70s/80s. Only setback for that is that we have a Brigadier-free episode and I wasn't ready for this (and still Three is rude to him). I liked the setting for this episode although it dragged a bit sometimes. I wished we'd spent more time on the natives, they seemed really interesting but there's still a lot we don't know about them. And I really don't like Jo. I don't remember disliking her so much first time I watched these episodes, maybe I forgot.

The Daemons 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

My favourite episode of this era and probably one of my favourite of all the classics. And what's not to love? The esoteric atmosphere of it all is so well done, with the fews shots at the beginning of the cat and owl, and stuff and the Beltane celebration, it's all very witchy and I'm all for it. There's even a witch, Miss Hawthorne and I love her thank you very much. We also get the Brig in bed, in his PJs and he's in very good form with some of his best one-liners. Yates and Benton get more space to shine and I can totally say now that I'm in love with Mike Yates, bisexual disaster. And only Three is allowed to bitch about the Brig, I love how he tells Jo off when she calls him an idiot (or whatever). The Master is obviously another big asset of this episode, cult leader seemed like a natural next step for him (lol). Anyway, great episode that I always love to watch.

[starlitangels]

Good Boy Audios Incorrect Quotes (Part 4)

Yargwynn: *carrying all the groceries*

Paradise: *holds out hand to help*

Yargwynn: *shifts all the groceries to one arm to hold Paradise's hand*

•••

Albus: People say I have a unique way of lighting up a room!

Devlin: It's called arson and those people are witnesses

•••

Odin: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

Pandora: If you say "addiction-ary" I will f*^&ing kick you back through the portal to Esselheim

Odin: I was going to say "high definition" but yours is better

•••

*air horn sound*

*air horn sound*

Yargwynn: ??? This isn't deodorant

•••

Tyr: Remember, the only difference between science and screwing around is writing things down.

•••

Makkaro: I could be wrong

Frank: Have you ever said that and actually meant it?

Makkaro: No

•••

Yargwynn: There are no bad ideas, only good ideas that go horribly wrong.

•••

Devlin: Let me see what I can do. Can you stay out of trouble for five minutes?

Albus: Let's find out!

•••

Yargwynn: I'm going on this mission alone. I ask that you rescue me or avenge me, as appropriate

•••

Faithful: Lord, give me patience

Albus: Isn't the phrase "give me strength"?

Faithful: If the Lord gave me strength, you'd be dead

•••

*Literally Anything Happens in the Space Pirate Saga*

Yargwynn: I was not expecting that

Yargwynn: But I was expecting not to expect something so it doesn't count

•••

Makkaro: In a game with no consequences, why are you still playing on the 'good' side?

Zed: Because being mean makes me feel bad

•••

Pandora: You really shouldn't be using a straw

Odin: I know. Bad for the environment and all that, but this one is metal and reusable—

Pandora: No, it's just a really weird way to eat spaghetti

Odin: *drawn out slurp*

•••

Paradise: *walks into crew meeting late* Sorry I’m late. I was doing stuff.

Yargwynn: *walks in, noticeably disheveled* *smirking* I’m stuff

•••

Paradise: Sorry I’m late. I was doing stuff.

Mortallous: *walks in, noticeably disheveled* They pushed me down the F^&*ING stairs!

•••

Odin: Hey! What are you doing tomorrow?

Pandora: Having my day ruined by whatever you're about to ask me to do

•••

Albus: Apparently, ending every conversation with my brother with, "Yes, my liege," and a deep bow followed by respectful backwards shuffling while avoiding eye contact is considered sarcastic

•••

Yargwynn: Marry someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life!

Paradise: -_-

•••

Albus: I asked Faithful to share her queen-sized blanket, to which she replied that she was a queen and therefore the blanket was already at max capacity

•••

Ulysses: You're mad

Odin: Thank goodness for that because if I wasn't this would probably never work

•••

Makkaro: I assume you realize I won't tolerate this kind of idiocy

Frank: Is there another kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

•••

Lyr: We need to have a talk about your professionalism.

Yargwynn, standing on a table: Those are some mighty brave words coming from a guy standing in lava.

•••

Pandora: We need to talk about—

Odin: The building was already on fire when I got there

Pandora: What?

Odin: What?

•••

Kalamos: We need to get help from adults!

Paradise: We are—

Kalamos: Real adults!

Paradise: Understood.

•••

Tyr: You're smiling, did something good happen?

Odin: Can't I just smile because I feel like it?

Pandora: Ulysses fell down the stairs

[toyota-supra]

it's funny to see how different people talk about games with many translated titles.

Dragon Quest was already a trademarked name in the US before the Famicom game was made, so when Nintendo of America brought the game to the west, it was Dragon Warrior, up until the eighth game on the PS2, when they were able to title it Dragon Quest VII. Thus, a lot of people still call the older titles Dragon Warrior II, III, so on and so forth. But I don't really care about that as I got into the series in the eleventh entry, so they're all Dragon Quest to me.

Ryu Ga Gotoku was brought to english markets as Yakuza, until (requires source) some in newer translation teams around 2015 brought up that the name doesn't really fit the series, and that as Yakuza was trying to bring its translation way closer to the original tone of the games rather than adapting it to international markets, so should the name be changed to Like A Dragon to fit this. Thus, after Ryu Ga Gotoku 7 changed protagonists and moved the series into a different territory, the English title was changed to Yakuza: Like A Dragon. (my source for this claim is in some Insert Credit episode, Brandon and Tim mentioned knowing someone responsible for that change and how they were wanting that change for years before it happened. However, I am not going to bother to look that up right now. Just look up who's responsible for the localization of Like A Dragon I'm sure you'll find it) After that, the series is called Like A Dragon. But isn't it easier to refer to all the games as that now? Like A Dragon 1, 2, 3, etc. Even though it's still Yakuza for those. Ah, idk. You get what I mean, though.

God this post is so long. I'm just bored waiting for my food to get ready.

Then you have stuff like Resident Evil, a zombie survival horror game that was called Biohazard in Japan, which makes sense because it's more about the evil fucking science behind the creatures than traditional zombie stories were at the time about dead people walking through fucked up disease or magic or whatever. Point is, after the series slowly went from survival horror to action, the 7th game wanted to change things back to survival horror. I imagine this is related though I am really not sure, but they went with the name Biohazard 7 Resident Evil and Resident Evil 7 Biohazard in Japanese and English respectively. At this point I think my blood sugar is too low to keep going, but I hope this post was able to let you reflect on localization a little.

[hussyknee]

Does reading a lot of books "count" if they're all only popular light-read novels? As opposed to classics and literary fiction and whatever 600-page in-betweens are called. I can tear through all of Cat Sebastian (who's either hit or very, very miss for me) before I can pick up, like, Sharon Kay Penman, even though they're both popular historical novellists, because SKP's are about real historical figures and wars where a lot of horrible things happen to people. So of course my brain is convinced that SKP's novels "count" more than CS's, because it only counts if you have to struggle through an emotional morrass that makes you feel glad to live in climate collapse because at least nobody is sticking people's heads on spikes anymore.

This is also why I can only stand well back from literary fiction and poke it with a stick like I'm waiting for rats and snakes to jump out because, afaik, most of them are about people being sad and ruminating on the Human Condition. I don't get why I have to read about that, given I'm a sad person who's trapped in the Human Condition.

(I sometimes think the people that write these things are either so removed from the unwashed masses that they can look at them like a science experiment or five inches from offing themselves at all times. Presumably some of them are those mythical Normal People who have somehow emerged from the existential soup without any mental illnesses. Idk. How tf do you write fiction about real human pain that isn't even self-indulgent whump fic? I'm still trying to recover from having read Ninety-One Whiskey four years ago.)

You'd think the solution would be to just read some escapist fantasy, except the serious non-YA adjacent stuff that get submitted for Hugo awards (or Netflix and HBO adapations that shit all over the source material) are also about Bad Things Happening To People. I suppose this is better than white Christian manifest destiny bullshit like Lord of the Rings* where Bad Things Only Happened to Boromir, whose fans are the kind of people who think Gone With The Wind is a literary classic instead of Ku Klux Klan propaganda or people like me who are pathologically obsessed with conservative white bullshit**. And yet have I ever picked up NK Jemisin, who seems to be for all intents and purposes the queen of decolonial high fantasy? Of course not. Better to bear that media where Bad Things Only Happen To Imbibers Of This Racist Bullshit, than fly to others Where Bad Things Happen To The Characters that we know not of***.

It's really fucking hard to be extremely mentally ill and have OCD that won't let you DNF stuff that bores and distresses you and makes you think anything that lets you have safe, happy fun is just easy mode riffraff of no nutritional value.

***Still trying to figure out where Guy Gavriel Kay fits in. Without, you know, just reading the damn books.

**Tbh the reason conservative white bs is so appealing is because conservatives genuinely believe in the Just World theory. They rationalize the chaos of reality by assuming that the world used to make sense and work the way it should until Bad People happened to it, and it can be restored to its rightful glory if we can just root out all the shit that upended the old order. That's fascism in a nutshell and why its so deeply seductive even to people suffering under it.

*No, I'm not going to explain why LoTR is smuggling white supremacy. Y'all care more about defending the intentions of white men living in the fading era of the British empire than understanding how they could possibly have internalised white Christian supremacy that informs their writings about Fair, Enlightened Folk of the West yearning for a mythical past where they reigned supreme. Figure it out.

[legolasghosty]

Okay but if I go into your inbox and ask for more zombie apocalypse au would that work??? ;D

Alright, but you quite literally asked for it, so don't blame me if this gets crazy!

For those of you who have been politely ignoring my madness, this is in reference to a post canon type zombie apocalypse au. You can read part 1 and part 2 of me spewing randomness about it on those links if you're interested! I blame Inny and whoever that anon was for enabling me.

Soooo I thought we might start this one by looking at the bit that started this whole tangent: Julie and the guys finding zombies of the boy's bodies.

Listen, they don't really see the apocalypse coming, no one does. So, a couple of months after the Orpheum, following many long conversations and stuff, Julie finds where the guys are buried and they all go to visit. It feels both very right, to pay their respects and all, and very wrong, cause visiting your own grave is just creepy, okay?!

Flynn is driving(cause there's no way Julie was up to learning to drive while struggling with losing her mom, even if she has turned 16 by this point), and the ghosts are being antsy in the back seat. Julie turns on the radio, but all the stations keep getting interrupted by some news people yelling about whatever crisis is happening now. Weird. So they just switch to the aux and Julie starts playing old 90s music. The boys appreciate it. Flynn is less of a fan.

They get to the graveyard just as the music gets cut off by Ray calling Julie. That's... not normal. Usually he texts unless it's urgent. Well, once his kids actually taught him how to actually write text messages, not whole emails in a text bubble.

Ray is like, COME HOME NOW, STUFF IS WEIRD AND THERE'S ZOMBIES!!! Julie thinks he's messing with her, cause like... zombies? Really? Everyone knows those aren't real. Flynn points out that everyone thinks ghosts aren't real either while googling it. And oh frick... maybe they should have paid more attention to those breaking news reports.

Look, I don't know how zombie infections start, okay? Haven't really figured that one out yet. But my general theory for this AU is that whatever chemical does it got into some kind of groundwater supply, and thus is in the dirt. It latches on to forms that still harbor some level of organic matter. Or something. I don't know. It's too late to be doing the science of zombies. Regardless, it's infecting dead bodies and the graveyard they are at is much closer to the source than home.

Reggie screams when the first one scrambles out of the ground behind him. Those first few are the newly dead ones, cause they still have the most organic matter attached and the dirt on top of them isn't as packed down from decades of being stepped on.

Alex panics and summons part of his drum kit right on top of it, crushing and killing it. They all kinda stare at it for a second, and then everything gets nuts. More zombies start climbing up from the ground. Flynn may or may not light a couple of them on fire with her mom's lighter. Look, she doesn't really smoke much anymore, but having the lighter around makes her feel better for whatever reason. Flynn doesn't get it but she also doesn't question it.

It's a small graveyard so they manage to take out most of the zombies fairly quickly, once they get over their initial shock... but then they see another zombie forcing its way up. It has a tattered beanie and they can see bones sticking out of its flesh where it has rotted away. And it's not Luke. They all know it's not. But even Luke himself is a bit stunned by the appearance of his own dead body.

Reggie and Alex zombies are coming up behind Luke. Figures that Luke would be the first one up. And none of them really know what to do. Cause, yeah they're zombies, but also, they're the guys???

But then Luke gets between zombie him and Julie and she realizes that, regardless of what the zombie looks like or who the body used to belong to, it's not him. Cause, ghost or not, Luke is standing right there, dead and breathing and trembling a bit in his beat up vans. So she does what any logical person would do: She grabs a big stick(or a shovel lying nearby or something, I don't know) and smacks zombie Luke over the head with it. Hard.

They take out the zombie boys and get in the car. (Reggie may or may not beat up zombie him with his bass.) They take off towards home just as fast as they can. Cause...what else do you do when zombies are suddenly real?

But it does make them sure of one thing: Zombies aren't people. Their souls aren't tied to their corpses, even though said corpses are moving again.

OKAY TIME FOR SOME FLUFFIER STUFF NOW THAT WE HAVE THAT OUT OF THE WAY!!!

The ghosts all start leaving notes and writing stuff down for the non-Julie lifers when she's not around to translate. However, none of them really expected both Carlos and Ray to start leaving notes back. Carlos's are mainly for Reggie, asking random ghost questions and making dumb jokes. Ray leaves notes for all three of them(plus Willie when they find them), usually asking apocalypse type questions or asking if they can get some supply item on their next run, but sometimes it's just random questions about themselves. And all of them get a note at least once a week or so that just says, "Thank you for taking care of my little girl."

Julie figures out how to get zombie guts out of clothing mainly for Alex, who got set off into a full on panic attack when some got on his hoodie. It wasn't really about the hoodie of course, but still. It wasn't that much more complicated than getting blood out of clothes, thank goodness. Alex hugged Julie for like a full five minutes when she gave it back to him, mostly gut free.

The ghosts struggle to actually make physical contact with the zombies, similar to other life or life adjacent forms. Thus they're not the best in a physical fight. However, Reggie gets really good at finding heavy stuff to drop on top of them. Hey, when you're not a living being, you don't have to worry so much about little things like how heavy that box is.

The gang develops a point system for zombie killing. It's mostly the ghosts and kids doing it, in an attempt to bring some humor into a terrifying situation. Bigger zombies are worth more, as are taking out a bunch at once, combo kills, or a takedown that's just objectively cool. Points can be cashed in for random stuff like first dibs on food or specific coveted positions in the cuddle piles they fall into at night.

Speaking of cuddle piles, they become very common, cause with everything going on, Julie, Flynn, and Carlos all start having a really hard time falling asleep alone. The ghosts do as well, but they tend to brush it off more since sleep isn't a biological necessity for them. Thus, cuddle piles become a pretty normal thing to help them all fall asleep.

Okayyyy it's after midnight and this is kinda long, so I'm gonna call that good for now and attempt slumber. Hope y'all enjoyed, or at least are not annoyed at me for once again talking too much about a random AU idea.

(Send me an AU and I'll give you 5+ headcanons about it!)

[classicalshorts]

Paint it NERO!

No, nothing to do with the emperor who fiddled while Rome burnt. This is the final entry in the Cool Colours series on words that English derived from Latin and Greek colour words. So, tonight, you guessed it, we are going to PAINT IT BLACK! (yes, I am a Stones fan!).

Okay, we start with Latin. I am going to take a slightly different approach tonight and look at how the Latin for black (niger, nigra, nirgum) evolved into different modern European languages. These are all called the 'Romance' languages, but nothing to with love. It is because they derive from the language of the Romans. The most similar to the Latin original are the Poruguese, Spanish, and Romanian:

Spanish: negro, negra Portuguese: negro, negra Romanian: negru

The main change is that the 'i' in the Latin has changed to an 'e'. Note how Spanish and Portuguese have retained the masculine and feminine endings -o, and -a. The neuter (the '-um' in Latin) has disappeared.

Now, French and Italian represent interesting and slightly different example of linguistic evolution.

French: noir, noire Italian: nero, nera

Once again, we see the masculine and feminine endings remain, but slightly different. The 'g' of the Latin has disappeared. This is not unheard of ease of pronunciation or pleasure of sound may explain this; the harder sound is dropped over time to leave the more pleasant, gentler nero, for example. In French, nigro (Latin ablative) became noir, a word still visibly connected to it Latin roots, just altered.

However, there may be something a little more complicated, but very, very interesting. Now, Latin is not the only ancient Italian language. Some of its own words come from these, or have combined as language evolves. And there are even examples where these non-Latin Italian languages have bequeathed us fascinating derivatives in their own right.

One of these languages was Umbrian, spoken by the central Italian peoples and closely connected to Oscan (more about these in a later post). In Umbrian, the word for black or dark seems to have been niru, very similar to modern French and Italian. This leaves us with questions. Was the Umbrian word the principal parent word of the French and Latin for black? Or did it combine with Latin as it evolved? Latin and Umbrian were likely connected either by Umbrian bequesting to Latin or via a connection to a mutual parent.

Isn't language amazing? Such a rich legacy from a famous ancient language, and one that has almost been forgotten.

So, now to Greek. Are you feeling a little down or sad? If so, you may be said to be feeling melancholy, in other words (and rather less poetically), you have a touch of black bile. The word comes from Greek as follows:

μελας, μελαινα, μελαν - black, dark

χολή - bile

So how do we get from black bile to a feeling of sadness? This goes back to ancient Greek medical theory. The theory of the four humours, an early holistic approach to understanding the funcitoning of the body and disease, often attributed to medical writer and thinker Hippocrates (yep, author of the oath which doctors still pledge allegiance to). The 'humours' corresponded to the four fluids of the body, of which black bile was one, accounting for certain diseases, but also feeling low. What a rich cultural history finding its origins in the early days of science?

And so, this article brings my series on Cool Colours, modern words from ancient Latin and Greek (primarily) for colour. I hope you have enjoyed it.

If you would like more content like this (language related) or would like more stuff generally about the ancient world and how it relates to our own, please DM me.

See you in my next series, whatever that may be!