#whatever these thoughts are half-formed and deeply personal

[innocet]

Can three aro ghosts visit me today I am Not feeling the spirit

[clannfearrunt]

Hi I'm spitting out biology (and a liiiiitle bit cultural) musings more of them. These guys are actually terrestrial holothurians (sea cucumbers). I'm putting my stonks into echinodermata we have to believe in their Powers to evolve new and exciting shapes.

The people who keep symbiotic fish in their tentacles call themselves Anemones, while the ones that reject the fish as parasites and wear shell-like hats over most of their tentacles call themselves Nautilus. In the modern day there is an increasing population of those who consider themselves neither of these things but due to the history of these two cultures there isn't a widely accepted colloquial name for the species as a whole.

They're not cnidarians so they don't possess stinging cells, but they produce a thick venomous mucous from their tentacles that causes paralysis and inflammation on contact for various other animals. They evolved as social ambush predators that would jump on their prey and slather this mucous over them to subdue them. Their ideal diet is like 60% meat and 30% fruits, with bonus whatever the fuck else they feel like eating as a treat.

The venomous mucous may have been what initially started the Nautiluses' practice of covering most of their tentacles, along with protection from the sun and aerial predators. They have a long history as a multi-species people, and keeping contact venom just exposed around your loved ones without resistance to it is just plain dangerous. These days it's more of a visual identification and religious thing though.

These guys don't have real eyes, but are covered in light sensing cells all across their skin. They have shit visual acuity and can't see very far, but they're usually aware of the general silhouette of large objects a few feet around them, and are sensitive to movement. The Anemones, at least, formed a symbiotic relationship with a species of amphibious fish partially due to them being able to see farther and with higher acuity and warn them of things they might not have picked up on by themselves.

There's a lot of in-universe debate over the exact intelligence of the clownfish, but the average seems to be kind of parrot-like, with occasional exceptionally intelligent, probably sapient individuals. They're hard to study, because they're usually extremely shy towards other people, plus Anemones tend to develop a very strong bond with their clowns that skews their perception of what their own fish is capable of. In the modern day the relationship between Anemones and their fish is largely religious rather than out of any real practical necessity; the Anemone religious hegemony considers these fish as one half of a full person, and places an extreme importance on maintaining this relationship. This is usually fine and what ever, but can place Anemones and clownfish alike into difficult situations when the relationship is unwanted or cannot be maintained properly for whatever reason. It's also the reason Anemones and Nautilus have historically considered themselves separate, often rival species; the presence of the clowns or lackthereof have been considered mutually repulsive and a sign of something being deeply Wrong about the other group.

Most terrestrial holothurians are small, trundling insectivores, but there is one large species these guys share a close evolutionary relationship with. The dropbear are solitary, arboreal ambush predators that used to share much of their range with Anemones, but are currently critically endangered in the wild. Anemones, with their very low visual acuity and poor sense of smell, have a very hard time distinguishing dropbears from members of their own species. It's thought the need to tell friend apart from foe is what drove them to develop complex vocal capabilities.

Side note the Example Anemone here is wearing an extremely hastily designed example of traditional Anemone accessories; they didn't have a nudity taboo and actually prefer to keep most of their skin uncovered so they can see, but they enjoyed wearing accessories with tactile or audible elements built into it. Beads were often placed so they'd click together when moving, and combined with knots in the cords were often arranged according to their traditional system of cord "writing" so that people could read each other's clothing.

These guys support themselves on land through an endoskeleton made up of a network of mesodermal ossicles and catch connective tissue. When threatened, they can dramatically loosen their skin and let a predator or perhaps a guy easily tear off whatever part of their body they've grabbed, allowing for an easy getaway with relatively easy wounds to regenerate. This easily gooped skeletal structure does make them very prone to fatigue though. It was fine, because they're ambush predators. They were just supposed to be sitting there most of the day. Please.

[txmxkis]

i'm only really me when i'm here with you

pairing. boothill x gn!reader

genre. hurt/comfort

wc. 1.5k+

summary. you're determined to help boothill heal from his trauma by... doing his hair?

warnings. i took liberties with this, who knows what specific parts he actually has left or whether he can blush or not (in my heart he can lol), mention of boothill picking u up but i mean. he’s literally so strong he could handle anything, i made him soooo sad and it’s possibly wildly out of character, selfship coded as usual rip

a/n. continuing the tradition of using lyrics from songs on selfship playlists for fic titles lol. based on my tags on this post

they say that trauma is stored in the body, and while boothill didn't necessarily have a complete body anymore, this was still something that you thought about frequently when it came to his physical form.

regardless of just how much of his original self remained, there was still enough of him left that you were sure it had to be true in some capacity. after all, he retained his head and his heart—at least you were fairly certain—two of the most vital components of human anatomy.

it was so hard to read him. the real him. he tried so hard to always act confident and cool. actually, he didn't even really have to try or act. it seemed as if it came to him naturally and endlessly. there was a perpetual air of optimism surrounding him that was difficult to dim even on his most wearisome days.

even after experiencing whatever horrors he had to face from mission to mission, when he came home, the door to whatever room you were currently in would fling open—sometimes scaring you half to death—and he would greet you so happily that it felt as if there were no terrible things in the universe whatsoever.

you cherished his mannerisms, especially because you could be a pessimistic sort of person. rather frequently, in fact. you loved having him near you, able to draw laughter from you, however unwillingly it might be on your part at times. he was oddly skilled at making you feel assured and comfortable, in a way that nothing and no one had ever done before. you couldn’t seem to remember how you ever lived without his encouragement, and you didn’t think you could ever feel truly whole without it again.

there really was no accounting for his relentlessly positive attitude. given what he'd seen and endured, you thought it was damn near impossible to be as carefree as he seemed to be. at any rate, he did manage it. however, there were times, moments he rarely ever allowed you to witness, in which his façade would falter slightly and betray just how heavily the past weighed on him.

occasionally, you would catch him staring at his reflection, a downcast expression painting his beautiful features. every time you spoke of your family, you could detect glimpses of sadness in his eyes, albeit hidden behind a smile. once you even caught him crying as silently as he could—you assumed so as not to alert you—his shoulders sagging under an unforeseen weight, a look on his face that you could only describe as heartbroken. your own heart broke with his in that moment.

you always tried to be particularly attentive following those moments, but it was so difficult to get him to open up to you. he just wanted you to be happy. to not bother worrying about him. you had your own problems, after all, and there was no need for him to add to your burden. no need for him to ask for your pity.

he knew you cared for him deeply enough that it would cause you pain, and even if it was only a fragment of the grief that he lived with every day, he was sure that he would feel terribly and incessantly guilty about it. if he could remove every single aspect of your life that caused you suffering, he would do it in a heartbeat, and he could say that because it was one of the few original parts he had left. how could he add to that suffering by forcing you to imagine all the horrors from his own life?

it took so much time and effort on your part to convince him to open the door to himself, if even just a tiny crack. he was still extremely careful with his words and the details that he disclosed to you—he didn't want to overwhelm you, and he certainly didn't want to hurt you. in reality, these conversations, painful as they were for you to hear, actually helped you to feel as though you could comfort him more effectively.

yes, it hurt immensely to know even a small fraction of how much anguish he had experienced. yes, you despised the people who had done this to him and wanted to fight them yourself, in fact. yes, your chest felt tight with ache and sadness on his behalf. still, you could help him more by knowing than by not knowing.

eventually, you were able to make it this far, brushing through his hair as gently as your hands could manage. he had confessed to you in one of his more vulnerable moments that the white shock of hair on his head often served as a stark reminder of worse times, of the trauma and stress inflicted on his body. the admission gave you an idea, one that made boothill feel more than just a little bit exposed. he wasn’t accustomed to being looked after like this, with so much affection and love.

you began to make a routine out of it. every day you would do something with his hair—whether it was braiding it and tying it up intricately to make him feel pretty or simply combing through the strands and allowing them to cascade around his shoulders and down his back.

sometimes you would sit him in front of a mirror while you worked so that he could see exactly what you were doing in the moment. he didn’t quite understand how it all came together, but he found it fascinating to see how you twisted and weaved. at times, you were so focused on the hair in your hands that your brows would furrow, tongue poking out slightly between your lips. in the reflection, you genuinely looked like you were enjoying yourself.

even more noticeable to him was the expression you wore when you looked at him through the mirror. your gaze was so full of tenderness that his chest ached. he could swear that his heart actually skipped a beat. whenever that happened, you could see a flaring blush creep up his cheeks and into his ears, and you couldn’t help but laugh just a little bit at how endearing it was.

other times, you would settle on the couch, with him seated on the floor between your legs, adorning his hair with the cutest accessories, the two of you laughing and joking the whole time. you would delicately twist the locks back, securing them with pretty, multicolored clips that shone in the light.

when you were done, you would lead him slowly to a mirror, hands over his eyes, nearly stumbling over his legs as you walked behind him. you would pull your hands quickly from his face, revealing your handiwork, beaming with pride and grinning at how adorable he looked. he loved every minute of it—and every bit of you, he would think to himself as he turned to pick you up and spin you around, laughing in that deep voice of his. then he’d set you down gently, thanking you for your hard work with kisses sprinkled across your face.

days that were particularly trying for him would simply be spent in comfortable silence. when he didn’t feel like talking from the pain of it all, he would wordlessly lay his head on your chest as you ran your fingers through his long locks. feeling your touch—the slight pull on his scalp, the tickle of shifting hair—it all made him feel so relaxed that he could melt right into your skin until you absorbed him fully into you. often, the combination of this and the gentle, steady beat of your heart would lull him to sleep, and seeing his expression ease and soften in these moments was all the reward you ever needed.

in the beginning, it was unclear whether this dedicated time spent caring for his hair was helping or not. over time, however, you noticed a glimmer in his eyes—something that told you he would be alright, despite everything.

pain still remained; it always would, but instead of constantly gazing at his reflection with grief, every once in a while you would catch a hint of a smile pulling at his lips. it was as if he was remembering how you hummed while placing those clips, or how he had teasingly whipped you with his hair on a more playful occasion, or any number of positive memories that you had put so much effort into lovingly crafting with him.

you were determined to do your best, slowly but surely, to lighten his burden—or at least help carry it. there was no reason for him to feel alone when he had you by his side. and if creating these happy memories was what you had to do in order to help him, well, you would gladly continue forever.

reblogs & interactions are appreciated! thank you for reading! <3 — txmxkis

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Halloween prompts year 2 day 23

Au where Danny hides his powers and eldrich nature from his husband Tim and Tim hides his vigilante career from Danny.

Both are very successful and neither suspects a thing. Tim had originally planned to admit to being a hero at some point but they were always either interrupted or it just wasn't the right time and then Danny had mentioned a few times during thier engagement and marriage that he couldn't handle being with a superhero or vigilante and that it was a deal breaker. Unfortunately Tim was already deeply in love and couldn't bare to break up with him so now he lives in fear of Danny finding out and blackmailed the rest of the family into never letting it slip.

Danny is in a similar situation, ever since the portal incident people were afraid of his other half and no matter how hard he tried they always ended up hating him. He loved Tim and couldn't bare the thought of his husband having that same look of terror. Of hate. So he hid. Its all he could do. Back when he and his friends went on that road trip and gained the power of the reality gauntlet he had tried to undo his undeath entirely only to find out Danny had glitches spacetime enough that even if he undid it (which the gauntlet was incapable of doing) he would eventually wind up with the portal opening up on top of him at another date. Call it fate or destiny or whatever you like. He was stuck like this.

So he did the next best thing. He erased any proof he had ever existed. Even from the minds of his own friends. He then skipped town-or in this case universes- and used the gauntlets power to carve out a false identity in this new world full of heroes and hope

Luckly there was no one who could rat him out...until some blond guy in a trenchcoat started following him around the grocery store and talking to him. At first Danny was a little confused and annoyed but when he asked what the blond guy wanted he asked, "I wanna know what you are." And Danny went pale.

Constantine then proceeded to blackmail Danny into helping him with a case or else he would expose his dirty little secret to Tim.

Danny made the a deal, ensuring that it would only be this one time. He told Tim that he was being blackmailed but insinuated that it was something petty between him and some of the other high society house spouses. The kind of drama that Tim always made extra sure to steer clear of. He swore to Tim he was this close to spiking Bethanys muffins with a laxative in retaliation for something and Tim gave helper suggestions for how to do it without being caught while they got ready for the day.

Ever since Alfred passed away it was up to Danny and a few other people to keep the Waynes from falling apart. Honestly, no one realized how much that man did until he wasn't around anymore.

To be fair he pretty much spoiled Tim by picking up after him to the point the man can't function after a few days. If Danny ever had to leave Tim alone for prolonged periods of time he would return to a giant mess and something burning in the kitchen.

Danny would clean, Tim would spew a fountains worth of apologizes, he would forgive Tim (as if he was ever mad in the first place. This just reaffirmed that Tim needed him to protect and care for him, making his core vibrate in happiness) then they would...reacquaint themselves. He nearly shifted forms the first few times this happened. That would be one heck of a way for Tim to find out about his ghost half.

Danny smiled, thinking about those memories. He truly adored Tim and couldn't imagine a life without him. He would just have to make sure this trench coated guy never came anywhere near his precious husband.

John would really like to know what this entity was and what it wanted with the Wayne brat. It couldn't really be in love with the kid, could it? He had personally seen these relationships work out before but there many more he had seen that hadn't. He didn't want to take that risk, so he needed to get close enough to evaluate the situation himelf.

[breathlesswordsbloodyknees]

Narrative Doom

Introduction

I've been playing around in and exploring this space where Sauron as Halbrand was genuinely seeking redemption, trying not to manipulate events but merely nudge them.

In my view, at this point he's in survivalist bed-rotting mode post-goo-form when he meets Galadriel. (I think he's more of an opportunist than a schemer in this era. Not that he doesn't have those schemes, but I think he's pushing those bad bad urges down. I have a web of scenes that I consider in this view for some other day)

I’m building much of this piece on these previous work: (link) (link) (link)

It's led me down some interesting philosophical rabbitholes, and I'd like to share.

Now, important to note, Sauron is a Maia—not a 'human' by any means. He's an ancient spiritual being who doesn’t feel the way us teeny tiny mortals do.

But on a broader scale: Tolkien’s work, like fiction as a whole, reflects and explores the human experience, so we’re riding that train.

All this with the framework of not absolving him for anything that came before or comes after. I plan on expanding into his evil alongside Morgoth and his actions in Season 2 at a later date.

But right now, we’re just exploring this blip of a moment where I consider Sauron could be genuine in repentance.

This is more an analysis of Sauron, but I feel like it has a lot to explore for Haladriel fans. There's some critique of Galadriel's choices here, but I want to make it clear: I'm not assigning blame. More just digging into the complexities.

And, well, I don't think this ship would be as compelling if it didn't have complexities.

Spoilers:

All of TROP S1

Vague themes/lines in TROP S2, mostly from S2E1.

The Good Place spoilers for overall theme and a few season 4 lines, but nothing outright about the plot.

Trigger Warning:

Be warned, I’m going to delve into some dark themes in a very personal way. Including but not limited to abuse cycles, personal trauma, harmful behaviors, and empathy within all of that.

I won’t lie, this work was hard for me. Painful to untangle. I would encourage you to have empathy and compassion for yourself, as well as me, while you read. I tried to put warnings before I go into these themes. Please take care of yourself.

---

To start

Sauron’s narrative, at its simplest, is a cautionary tale: If you let your ambition and drive for power go too far, you turn to evil. Higher values over sinful pleasures. Pride goeth before the fall.

But on a deeper level, being solely a cautionary tale, an overarching villain, a lesson to learn, what does that mean for the complexities of Sauron in The Rings of Power?

Charlie Vickers puts so many layers and so much emotion into his character. Yet he keeps it to a lot of imperceptible movements that, I found out last night, get almost completely lost in low resolution. I can see that being a part of some of the stricter interpretations of Vickers' Sauron. But there’s a vulnerability there that touches on some deeply raw thoughts.

—

So the relentless question in fandom: Does he mean any of it with Galadriel or is he just the Great Deceiver?

I'd like to ask, how much of it is just some deeply relatable ‘human’ behavior? Deflection, defensiveness. Half-truths, twisted truths, fibs.

Because as he says on the raft, he did tell her the truth, that he had done great evil in service of Morgoth. He never lied to her.

(An aside: I personally don’t give the “my ancestor” thing much weight as a true lie, I mean it’s his backstory and he had more reason for it than the Darkling did imho)

But really, who doesn’t try to hide and smooth over the worst ugly evil nasty bits of themselves and their past? We want to shine in the eyes of others—it's a fundamental desire to most.

—

On the other side, touching on influence and ambition:

Aren’t we all trying to sway events and leave an impact in whatever way we’re capable? Don’t we all attempt to sculpt the world like clay? Isn’t that really all we can do in this world?

And don't we often tell ourselves that we’re doing it for a better outcome? Even actions deemed ‘good’ and ‘heroic’ create ripples that have negative impacts, if only just for the orc babies.

I’ve been thinking a lot about orc babies.

—

Galadriel, from their first conversation on the raft in S1E2, backs him into a corner. She’s relentless in her quest for revenge against him and he’s whoops—sitting right there, doing the side eye meme. He’s gotta be self-preservational. And that rings true to me more than outright deceit. (At this point)

But I think over the course of the season, playing as Halbrand, “Lost King of the Southlands”, he’s trying. Trying to be “the hero she seeks”. Trying in the only way he knows how, which is…well, not great, he really toes the line. But he’s trying to ‘choose good every day and choose it again tomorrow’, while he’s on the path she set him on. So it’s a step by step journey towards the light, but the path is ever slippery.

And inevitably, as we know, he fails.

—

TW

So what does that mean for those of us who feel like we’re trapped in the narrative, hurtling toward a doomed end through harmful behaviors we can’t escape? Tied onto the train tracks, staring down what feels like an inevitable fate.

When all you’ve known for ages is subjugation and torment and abuse, what do you become? (Which makes Mairon even more painful, with his origin of beauty and light. Like a whisper of I was once admirable too)

I keep coming back to the image of grooves, well worn. And well, under the influence of an abuser and beyond, I too have done evil.

Holding the good you’ve aspired to and the evil you’ve done in one space; it’s a sharp, heavy feeling like holding coals, like touching a hot pan, something to run and hide from. And looking at my deeply ingrained behaviors from childhood, along with trauma that’s happened throughout my life...I see those grooves echoing in jagged bloody ways that feel comforting, even natural.

For a long while, it’s been the only way I knew how to self-soothe, these behaviors that can cause harm to myself and others. So I’ve been twisting around the question: Can we ever truly be free of the evil we’ve done? If it’s all we’ve ever known, baked and beaten into our bone marrow?

In Sauron’s case, the answer is no. His story unfolds the way it was written. The bad guys perish, the good guys win.

(though there’s the “they meet in Valinor” after canon theory, hope ever shines through)

—

That all brings me into The Good Place and that show’s moral thesis.

Spoilers for The Good Place:

More or less, the show states “people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don't?” and “What matters isn't if people are good or bad. What matters is if they're trying to be better today than they were yesterday.” (S4E8)

Scanlons’ What We Owe to Each Other and the rabbithole of contractualism that I haven’t fully delved into.

I resonate deeply with what The Good Place says. All with the understanding that you have to put on your own air mask before you help others, don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

But I do believe we should help each other in what ways we can, rather than writing people off entirely.

So, I struggle with Galadriel’s moments of “shutting the door” being considered wholly empowering. Light prevailing, resisting the allure of darkness and the draw of power. It is indeed all those things, especially for her journey. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame her.

But there’s an itching here for me and I have to scratch it.

—

In S1E8, if we’re assuming he’s genuine, he put it all out there in the raft illusion. It was his biggest, his all, his hope. A leap of faith. Real vulnerability with an internal truth that was like holding coals.

He did what was ‘right’. He reached for support, for understanding, for community, What We Owe to Each Other.

(though we can’t ignore the scene before that where he’s wearing Finrod’s face. But I haven’t followed that thread yet).

He made a play for a better future.

And she—light and goodness and holiness in her hair, denied him.

“You are Morgoth’s friend”, “There is no such future.” Boiling him down to his worst parts, reinforcing his worst fears.

Is that all we ever can be?

---

TW

When do we write off people like Sauron, with all his history of wrongdoing? People like my abusers or even myself? When does the potential for redemption become irrevocably lost?

How much empathy should we show, and what are we obligated to offer? What do we owe to each other? All of this while carefully balancing the line of not condoning or becoming an apologist, along with taking care of yourself first.

It’s mind-boggling.

---

The answers are out there: self-compassion, self-forgiveness. Change comes from within. Balance. But it's the same way people say go outside, exercise more, drink more water to fix depression. When you're in the throes of darkness, those words feel hollow, trite. And that glossy sunlit path is more than treacherous when you walk it, especially alone.

So again, I say, I scream: Should we not still help each other?

It's not just internal and external separately, we need both. I have to believe that. Internal change and external support.

—

Conclusion

In the end, I'm really only left with more questions. This barely scratches the surface of what I've been brewing on, I could go round and round for days. I mean, that’s what I’ve been doing this week.

Regardless, all the typical takeaways feel hollow. Choose light, choose hope, every single step, no matter how hard.

It’s never quite that simple, on a very visceral level. And for some of us, like Sauron, it never materializes.

It all just eats and scratches and twists inside me. Ultimately though, I think Caitlin Seida said it best about hope and redemption and the struggle in her poem, Hope is Not A Bird, Emily, It’s a Sewer Rat. Which I greatly hope you’ll read and find what I have in it. (link)

So I guess we keep being scrabbly little sewer rats, hoping to claw our way out of the dank dark cave. And y’know, it may not mean much, but I’ll be here, down in the muck. Right there with you.

Maybe that’s all we owe to each other.

Follow-up

[hauntedestheart]

Security Footage - Ghosts

One of Trevor & Andy's misadventures, a more detailed account of the sort described in Security Measures - Ghosts

"Beach day!" Andy exclaimed, letting out a whoop and charging down the sand towards the water. Trevor followed behind him, shaking his head affectionately at the sight of his boyfriend dashing about like a golden retriever let off the leash.

The two college boys were something of a mismatched couple- Andy was a textbook hunk, a tall jock with muscles to match and an outgoing personality, whereas Trevor was a mid-sized twink who was exactly as shy as he looked. But the two of them were childhood friends who, after a body-swapping incident that Trevor was still embarrassed about, put aside their differences once they realized that they were actually deeply in love with each other.

It was their three week anniversary, which Trevor thought wasn't a big deal but Andy insisted that every moment of their relationship was important ("I wanna make up for lost time," he said) so the two boys had made the ninety minute drive down to the beach for a romantic picnic on the sand, just the two of them. Truth be told Trevor didn't love the beach, but he loved Andy, so he just smiled and nodded as Andy chattered on about how excited he was.

(Besides, he got to watch his hunky boyfriend get soaking wet in swim trunks, so it's not exactly like he was suffering.)

The two of them set up their blanket and nibbled on the tapas Trevor had prepared for a bit before Trevor sighed and told Andy to go swim- he was making more eyes at the water than he was at his boyfriend. The bigger boy grinned apologetically, gave Trevor a peck on the lips, and then tore down the sand and dove into the water.

Trevor reclined on the blanket and watched as Andy paddled out deeper into the waves, his powerful body pushing him out against the surf far deeper than a homebody like Trevor would have dared to venture- he got the sense that there was no way his boyfriend would let the trip end without the two of them taking a dip together, so he resolved to enjoy being dry while he still could. The calm called to him and he let his eyes drift closed for a moment, lulled into relaxation by the gentle crash of the waves and the warm kiss of sunlight on his face, and for once he felt like he could let his guard down.

His peace was interrupted when a strange sort of chill ran up the back of the young man's spine and his body gave an involuntary tremor- a strange sensation to encounter on a warm day in the sun -and something about the feeling gave Trevor a sense of unease. Whatever the intrusion was it had made his skin tingle and tugged at something deep down that felt vaguely familiar for some reason.

"Damn it!" someone whispered.

Trevor's eyes flicked open in a confusion only to find that he was alone with none of the other beachgoers anywhere near him- but he was certain he'd heard a voice right in his ear. Had he just imagined it? Despite his growing suspicions nothing nearby seemed amiss, so he shook his head and tried to put the nerves out of his mind.

An easy distraction presented itself in the shapely form of Andy, who had finished his swim and was making his way back over towards their spot. He rose from the sea like he was on an episode of Baywatch, glistening drops of water cascading down his muscles and swimsuit clinging sinfully to every curve of his lower half, and his body had bounce in all the right places as he sauntered across the sand.

Trevor's first instinct was to avert his eyes, look away in shame before anyone noticed him ogling the gorgeous college stud, but then he remembered that he didn't have to do that anymore. That hunky man over there was his, out and openly, and he had nothing to be afraid of anymore. So instead of shrinking back he let his eyes devour the full course meal in front of him with gusto, and he savored every crumb.

Andy stopped right in front of Trevor and gave a cocky little wink and popped his pecs when he realized he was being admired. His smile was brighter than the sun, and Trevor was so enamored that didn't even mind that his soaking wet boyfriend was dripping water all over him.

Andy gazed down at Trevor with excitement. "You gotta get in there, it feels amazing!"

"Don't mind if I do!"

Trevor's forehead furrowed in confusion- again, it sounded like someone had just whispered something right beside him, and he was about to mention it when something strange caught his eye. A cloud of pale blue hung in the air, translucent but too solid to be merely a trick of the light, and for a split second Trevor thought he caught a glimpse of a smiling face.

Then, before he could react, the wispy mass dove straight for Andy's face.

Andy gave a small yelp of surprise, which turned out to be a mistake because the apparition shoved itself into his open mouth and slid down his throat as if it were some gelatinous mass, disappearing down his gullet effortlessly despite its large size. He swallowed instinctively and gulped the strangeness down, then a moment later he gave a small burp and wisp of something not-quite smoke puffed out of his mouth.

There was a queasy expression on his face as the young man's hands went to his midsection, clutching at himself as if he could feel something strange sliding around behind his abs, and his stomach began to gurgle. To Trevor's ears, it sounded like laughter.

"What the fuck?" Andy managed to sputter out, gritting his teeth as if his insides were tightening up, and then his chest jerked forwards, seemingly against his own will. He glanced down at his body in confusion, then up at his boyfriend with a look of fear on his face, then eyes crossed and he sank to the ground.

Andy's hulking body dropped like a sack of potatoes but thankfully the sand prevented his collapse from being too rough, and instantly Trevor was by his side. He quickly confirmed that Andy was still breathing, but that all he could do before his boyfriend began to convulse wildly and he was left to watch in terror.

Andy's body seemed to have lost control over its pronounced musculature, each individual muscle tensing and flexing as if they were moving on their own and making it appear as if his body were fighting itself. He jerked around wildly, limbs flailing as he waged some kind of war internally, and their uncontrolled movements sent him rolling over onto his stomach. Then he started humping the ground, hips flying up and down wildly with his big ass thrusting as he mashed his crotch into the sand, and grunts issued from somewhere deep within him. It was hard to tell if those were groans of pain, or of ecstasy.

He flipped over onto his back again, giving Trevor a look at his handsome face scrunched up with exertion, then with a yelp he gave one mighty hip thrust that sent his entire body airborne for a moment. When he hit the ground again he went still, with only the heaving of his massive chest to show that he was still alive.

"Andy? ANDY?" Trevor patted at his boyfriend's face, frantically trying to revive him, but before he could succumb to full blown panic Andy's eyes shot open.

The hunk bolted upright so rapidly that Trevor had to stumble backwards to avoid being slammed into, and then he lifted his hands and stared at them with a strange expression on his face.

"I'm in?" The young man asked, seemingly in disbelief of something, and he opened and closed his fingers a few times like he was experimenting with their movement. He took his hands and placed them on his chest, pressing into the meat of his pecs to test how solid they were, and the answer apparently delighted him because huge grin broke out on his face. "I'm in!" He cheered, then both of his hands flew down and clutched at his crotch. He cradled the prominent bulge in the front of his wet swim trunks, fingers rolling slightly as he probed at his genitals, and his eyes widened and his grin got even bigger. "Oh yeah baby, I'm back in business!"

"Back in business?" Trevor's heart began beating double time- something was wrong. He squinted at his boyfriend, watching as the young hunk began patting his hands all up and down his body like he was feeling it for the first time. "What are you talking about? Andy, you're not making any sense. What just happened? Are you okay?"

"Me? I'm just peachy!" Andy's face turned and he leered at Trevor, lecherously, and Trevor's stomach turned. His sweet boyfriend had never once looked at him like that- like he was nothing but a piece of meat. "I'm feeling better than ever. In fact, why don't you lean in and give me a smooch, sweet cheeks?"

Andy reached for him, lips puckered, but Trevor shrank away, taken aback by how his boyfriend was acting. His behavior was different, his way of speaking was different... a thought crossed Trevor's mind. It seemed impossible, but given what had happened between the two boys in the past, the impossible might be the usual.

"You're not Andy, are you?" Trevor ventured cautiously, watching from a safe distance as Andy squeezed at his pecs like a fruit vendor inspecting produce to see how fresh it was. "You're someone else inside of him."

Andy (or, what appeared to be Andy) stopped in his exploration of his body and look of surprise crossed his face, which then melted into a smirk. He rose to his feet and shook himself out, stretching his arms and legs the way someone would when slipping on a jacket for the first time and wanting to get a feel for it, and he whipped around to face Trevor.

"Oh, you're a smart one, aren't you?" He cackled, and his eyes flashed neon blue for a moment. A familiar chill ran down Trevor's spine. "Well I'm afraid your boyfriend isn't here right now, I'm just a friendly ghost taking his meatsuit for a spin. You don't mind, right?"

Trevor's mind reeled. "A ghost?"

"Oof, he's a big boy, isn't he?" The ghost rolled Andy's shoulders backwards, shifting his bulk around awkwardly for a moment as he settled in to his borrowed form. He lifted his arms into a double bicep pose, whistling in admiration as he watched the huge muscles flex, and he bounced them up and down. "I don't normally get to take over stallions like this, usually I can only get control of old people and weaklings. But this!" He took his fist and pounded at his abs, smiling at the meaty sound of flesh on flesh. "This is primo real estate baby. I hit the fucking jackpot!"

"This can't be happening..." Trevor muttered to no one in particular. The ghost nodded emphatically in agreement.

"You're telling me, I can't believe it!" The ghost's face (well, Andy's face) was lit up with excitement as he puffed his chest out, petting his hands appreciatively down his stolen physique. He was practically trembling with excitement, hands flying everywhere as if he couldn't decide which parts of Andy's studly form he wanted to molest first. "After I couldn't take over you I thought for sure I'd have no shot with the big guy but nope, his body sucked me in like a hoover! He was practically begging to be taken over!"

Why would Andy be weak to- Trevor pondered for a moment, and a sinking feeling came into the pit of his stomach when he made the connection. He vaguely recalled reading something about side effects to the swap spell he'd used several weeks ago to take over Andy's body, and this must be one of them. This is bad.

"You need to get out of him right now!" Trevor demanded, gathering together all of the authority he could muster, but he knew he had no sway in the situation- normally he loved how ripped his boyfriend was but at the moment it was a disadvantage because if it came to force the ghost could easily use Andy's body to pulverize him. But still, he had to be strong for his boyfriend and at least try to protect him.

Predictably, the ghost just laughed at him and shook his head. "No, what I need to do is get out there and have some fun! I can't let a stud like this go to waste!"

To illustrate his point he yanked down his shorts and Andy's cock and balls came flopping out, the tools hanging out in the open air, and the ghost whooped with glee at the sight. All of the attention the spirit had been lavishing upon Andy's body was starting to cause a reaction and his penis was already plump with blood, creating a rather obscene sight- and from experience, Trevor knew that this "problem" was only going to get bigger.

Trevor's eyes darted around nervously, acutely aware that his boyfriend's naked body was now on display at a public beach. "Put that away, somebody is going to see!"

"Somebody? I want everybody to see!" The ghost wiggled his hips from side to side and his new dick whipped through the air with gusto, eager to obey its new master's command, and the ghost seemed almost hypnotized by the movement. Trevor couldn't blame him- but he had to try to stop him.

Thinking quickly, Trevor grabbed the blanket out from beneath himself and attempted to wrap it around Andy's body so he could conceal his boyfriend's nude form from prying eyes, but the ghost took a big step back out of reach and the smaller boy wound up faceplanting in the sand instead. He somehow managed to get tangled up in the fabric, incapacitating him and making so all he could do was stare up helplessly.

He saw his boyfriend's body looming above him, a pillaring tower of muscle with bronzed skin gleaming in the sun, and when viewed from beneath Andy's manhood seemed almost impossibly massive. Andy's handsome face smirked down at him and he gave a cocky little flex of his muscles and it was one of the hottest things Trevor had ever seen, but in that moment, all it did was fill him with thread.

"Fleshies just don't get it- you're on this planet to have a good time, there's no room for shame! And your boy here has nothing to be ashamed of..." The ghost placed one hand on Andy's now hard cock and he shivered, giving one long, agonizingly slow stroke of the shaft before dropping it. "But I don't wanna blow my load too soon, I have a full day of fun ahead of me with my new toy!"

He bent down and pulled Andy's swim trunks back up, struggling for a moment as he tried to stuff his oversized boner into the shorts and only partially succeeding as the full outline of his hard cock was still plainly visible as it strained through the wet fabric. The ghost placed his hands on his hips and smiled down at his handiwork, then turned his attention back to Trevor.

"Chin up fleshie, you'll get him back!" He winked at the still prone boy. "After I'm done with him, of course. And look at the bright side! You get to watch me walk away." He turned and smacked his ass, his borrowed bubble butt bouncing up and down as he jogged away down the beach.

Trevor lay there, sprawled out on the sand, and watched as a ghost ran off to do god-knows-what while wearing his boyfriend's face. For a moment he felt powerless- poor Andy was going to be completely humiliated, or worse, and it was all Trevor's fault.

Then he untangled himself, grabbed his bag, and set off in pursuit. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he was going to save his boyfriend no matter what.

Hopefully this is a one-time thing, he thought to himself... naively.

[renlyslittlerose]

Kinktober Day 20 - Sharing a Sex Toy

For a variety of anons who asked for: Obi-Wan instructing Anakin, as well as sharing sex toys~ 🥰

Need Your Guiding Hand - 3,731 Rating: E Content: Explicit Sexual Content / Sex Toys / fleshlight / sex toy sharing / Mutual Masturbation / Masturbation / Voyeurism / First Time / Inexperienced Anakin Skywalker / Virgin Anakin Skywalker

---

Anakin stared down at the toy in his hand.

It was a long tube made of a clear silicone, the material soft but sturdy, made to grip and cover whatever appendage a person could decide to place inside. The shop owner said that it was a popular choice for ‘beginners’, her eyes wandering over Anakin’s form in a way that made him both blush and glower.

He still wasn’t sure what had possessed him to purchase the toy in the first place. He’d stumbled upon the shop in the lower levels while he was attending to an errand. Maybe it was the lights that drew him in, pretty pops of pink and purple neon that shone out from the windows. Or perhaps the knowledge that he was technically legal and able to enter the store if he really wanted to. Or maybe it was the crawling, dragging sensation of arousal that seemed to haunt his every waking moment since he hit puberty. Whatever the cause, he went in empty handed and left with a secretive bag that contained a ‘beginners’ sex toy.

A beginners sex toy that Anakin found he was too embarrassed to use.

Just looking at it made his cheeks flush and his chest squeeze, stomach knotting up as he thought about stuffing his dick into it. His hand had always been good enough - mechno or flesh - and though he knew the toy could offer him other pleasures, just the thought of using it made him both aroused and deeply ashamed. Jedi weren’t supposed to use sex toys.

Were they?

Squeezing down on the toy, Anakin sat back on his haunches. His cock sat soft between his thighs, twitching slightly when Anakin turned his attention to it. Pulling at his foreskin idly, Anakin squeezed down harder on the toy until it slipped from his grasp and lay uselessly on the mattress of his bed.

Maybe he’d just return it.

“Anakin?”

Grabbing his pillow Anakin shoved it over his groin and whipped around to see Obi-Wan stood in the doorway of his room. “Don’t you knock?” he yelled, voice coming out more like a shriek than a roar.

Obi-Wan raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze fixed firmly on Anakin’s face and not anywhere else. Anakin could see the lightest of blush spread across his cheeks, but other than that he seemed entirely relaxed. Too relaxed, given the circumstances.

“I would have knocked, had there been a door to knock on. You left it open.”

Anakin glared. He was certain he’d closed and locked the door. He wasn’t in the habit of being forgetful about closing a door when he was about to get off.

“Go away,” he bit out. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand having Obi-Wan looking at him. This was something out of a holo-vid or something, where the teenager was caught by his parents fucking a baked good in their kitchen.

Obi-Wan held his hands up in mock defence, a small little smirk on his lips as he turned to leave. But he paused half-way through his turn, neck craning back around as his gaze finally settled on the toy. For a brief moment Anakin thought he’d be able to hide it away, but Obi-Wan’s attention was far too fixed, and he sat further humiliated as Obi-Wan turned once more to stare Anakin down.

“Is that a sex toy?”

“No,” Anakin said quickly, even though it clearly was. “It’s a… sheath for a droid component.”

As far as lies went, it sounded good.

“Why are you fucking a droid component?”

Anakin’s blush deepened, heat spreading out across his cheeks and along his chest. He shoved the pillow closer to his groin and shifted so that he could hide the toy with his body. “I’m not fucking it. It just happened to be on my bed when I was getting ready to go to… to bed.”

“It’s only four in the afternoon, Anakin.”

“I’m not feeling well and—”

“Want me to help you?”

Suddenly Anakin felt like he was in another holo-vid. Only a very different sort of one. For a second it felt like his heart had stopped beating, the world drifting away for just a moment before it slammed back into him, his heart beating rapidly against his chest, blood coursing through his head like a speeder whose engines were about to implode.

Had his Master really just offered what Anakin thought he was?

Anakin’s fantasies were many and varied - he was, after all, only nineteen - but most of them involved one particular person. One person who was definitely, in all the ways he could be, off-limits and uninterested. Obi-Wan was supposed to be a fantasy; something Anakin thought of idly as he stroked his cock and played with his hole, imagining what Obi-Wan’s hands would feel like along his thighs, and what his spit would taste like, and how his cock would feel deep inside.

But before he could say or do anything, like jump through the window or go to the Halls of Healing to get his hearing checked, Obi-Wan stepped into his room and quietly shut the door with the Force. Tilting his head to the side, Obi-Wan peered around Anakin’s body to look at the offending toy.

“That’s not a droid component, darling,” Obi-Wan mumbled.

Anakin’s cock stirred at the use of the pet name. He shoved the pillow closer. “No,” he finally admitted.

“Where’d you get it?”

“Bought it. Down in the lower levels.”

Obi-Wan’s pupils widened slightly, darkness swallowing up the light greys and blues. Anakin chewed on the inside of his cheek. His cock continued to harden.

“Using your small amount of credits you get from the Council to buy a sex toy?” Obi-Wan asked idly. He continued further into the room, stopping just at the end of the bed, close enough where Anakin had to crane his neck to look up at him.

“It wasn’t that expensive,” Anakin said, surprised by how steady his voice sounded when he felt like the bed was going to give out beneath him at any moment.

Obi-Wan leaned down then, close enough where Anakin could feel his heat and smell the perfumes on his skin. He smelled like incense and roses, with just a hint of his own musk, the combination familiar to Anakin. Reaching around Anakin, he picked the toy up before standing straight once more. It looked obscene resting in Obi-Wan’s hands, the silicone sleeve fitting a little too large even in his broad palm. For a moment Anakin imagined his cock in place of the toy, and he bit back a soft sigh as Obi-Wan looked back up at him.

“You got the see-through one. Do you like looking at your cock as you pleasure yourself?”

Anakin nodded.

“Have you ever used one of these before?” Obi-Wan continued.

Anakin shook his head.

“Would you like me to show you how?”

Anakin hesitated then. This could still be a dream. Or a nightmare, depending on the outcome. But when he bunched his pillow up further against his groin, the spark of pleasure that washed through him told him that at least some of it was real.

And how many chances would he have to actually be with his Master?

“Yes, Master.”

Obi-Wan let out a soft breath then, the sound of it carrying through to Anakin and settling in his groin. He watched as Obi-Wan kicked off his boots and settled on the bed across from him, legs curled up beneath him as if he were about to meditate with Anakin. Only the toy remained in his hand, reminding Anakin exactly of what he was about to do.

Excitement swelled up inside him, and he let out a breath he’d been holding. Obi-Wan’s eyes darkened further.

“Remove your pillow,” he murmured, voice soft like when he was instructing Anakin on a new kata.

With trembling hands Anakin did as was asked, revealing himself to Obi-Wan. It wasn’t as if Obi-Wan had never seen him naked before, but he’d never seen him naked with a half-hard cock and a sex toy between them. Embarrassment swept through him again, and he shifted the weight on his haunches, legs going numb from the pressure.

Obi-Wan’s eyes swept down Anakin’s body, taking in his chest and stomach and then further still, landing on his cock as it continued to harden between his spread thighs. He let out a soft moan then, the sound of it sinking deep inside Anakin, and a pearl of precome spilled from his cock to stain the bedding beneath him.

“Do you know how many times I had to look away from admiring your cock while in the freshers?” Obi-Wan asked quietly.

Anakin whimpered and dug into the meat of his thighs, holding on for dear life, letting the sting of his touch ground him to the moment.

“Get yourself hard,” Obi-Wan said, his gaze still caught on Anakin’s cock. “It’ll be easier to use the toy once you’re fully hard.”

Licking his bottom lip, Anakin squeezed down on his thigh once more before he reached between his legs with his flesh hand. Grabbing his length, he tugged it a few times. Relief and pleasure rushed through him in tandem, and he moaned softly as he tugged at his cock with one hand and petted his thigh with the other. It only took a few swipes for his cock to get fully hard, precome sticky and stringy sliding down the foreskin and along his knuckles, easing his motion with each hurried swipe.

Obi-Wan continued to admire, a flush on his cheeks and a depth to his gaze that Anakin had never felt before but struck him deeply all the same.

“Play with your balls,” Obi-Wan said.

Anakin reached between his legs to roll them on the palm of his mechno-hand. The metal was cool for a moment before it quickly warmed, the sensation both pleasant and mildly uncomfortable. He wasn’t quite used to his hand and the feel of it, still slightly foreign despite how quickly the doctors said he was adapting. But it was easy to forget the strangeness when Obi-Wan was admiring the motion like a man would admire a piece of art, his expression studious, his attention focused, his admiration clear.

Tugging at his balls, he pulled them away from his body as he continued to stroke his length, twisting his grip on the upswing before pushing the foreskin down, exposing the red, spongy head to the muggy air. Deciding to be bold, Anakin swirled spit in his mouth before dropping it down on his length, earning himself a soft groan from Obi-Wan that only made him ache more.

“Stop.”

Anakin stopped with his hand at the base of his length. Gripping himself, he watched as Obi-Wan lifted the toy and held it out to him.

“Normally you’d coat it in lube before you used it,” Obi-Wan said as Anakin took it. “But you’re so wet, darling, that I hardly think you need the extra help.”

“Sorry,” Anakin said, a flair of shame curling up in him.

But Obi-Wan’s soft chuckle quelled it, and he looked up to see Obi-Wan was smiling. “I meant it as a compliment.”

“O-oh, yeah. Of course.�� Looking back down at the toy, Anakin fiddled with one of the openings. He hadn’t realized it opened both ways until he’d brought it back home, and by then he was too embarrassed to return it and asked for one that closed. He wasn’t even sure if it was defective, or that was how it was supposed to be. “Do I… do I just stick my cock in?”

Obi-Wan let out a strangled little moan then, and Anakin glanced up to see Obi-Wan’s expression had darkened even further, a haze to his usually clear blue eyes that made Anakin’s cock spill more precome out onto the sheets.

“Yes, Anakin. Stick your pretty cock inside your toy and… and have fun with yourself.”

Sliding his fingers along the opening, Anakin groaned softly as the soft insides pressed against his digits. Coating the opening with his precome, he watched Obi-Wan out of the corner of his eye, delighting in the way Obi-Wan seemed strangely unsteady. Bracing his cock once more at the base, Anakin positioned the toy over the head before encasing his length in one smooth swoop.

The pleasure was undeniable. The toy was soft and tight along his length, warm like how Anakin imagined a hole or mouth would be. It slipped around his cock as if it were made for him, the silicone firm but also mailable, the length perfect. Sucking back a greedy mouthful, he was about to start stroking it along his length when Obi-Wan’s hand caught his wrist, stilling him.

“Let me admire,” Obi-Wan whispered, breath hot against Anakin’s cheek.

Anakin whimpered but did as was asked, holding off on moving the toy so as to let Obi-Wan take in his fill. His cock lay inside the clear silicone, slightly distorted by the material as it encased him. The deep red of the head came through the material well enough, however, and Anakin let Obi-Wan’s eyes travel the length of it before falling back on the head where another pool of precome had formed.

“Do you like that?” Anakin asked, suddenly feeling bold. “Do you like looking at your Padawan’s cock?”

Obi-Wan glanced up at Anakin, the grip on his wrist relaxing. Eyes locked, Obi-Wan had nowhere to hide now.

“Yes,” he admitted. “Better than any of my dreams.”

The admission that he’d thought of this dragged Anakin down further, and without much finesse he started fucking his toy. Gripping the silicone tube with both hands, he held on to the slippery material as best he could and shoved his cock in and out of it at a quick pace. Pleasure spiked through him, starting at his cock and fanning out to run along his groin and up into his balls, deep and dense and so fucking good. The slick sound of his cock going in and out of the toy filled the room, along with the slap of his balls against the underside as they swung back and forth, guided by the pistoning of Anakin’s hips.

Obi-Wan watched with fixed attention, the pair with their heads ducked as they admired Anakin’s cock as he moved it in and out of the toy. Pleasure continued to build, slick and hot, filling Anakin up and driving him further and further toward its inevitable end. It wouldn’t last long, but Anakin didn’t want it to. He hadn’t known such gratification could be obtained before - had never really got the appeal of using plastics and silicone until now.

But Obi-Wan’s movements stalled Anakin’s impending orgasm, and he stopped his hurried movements to watch as Obi-Wan sat up on his knees and began fussing with his tabards and belt.

“What are you doing?” Anakin asked breathlessly.

“Joining you,” Obi-Wan said.

His tone was relaxed, as if he were telling Anakin he was going down to the shops or heading off to a meeting for the afternoon, and not how he was going to join Anakin in getting off. The thought alone of sharing a sex toy with Obi-Wan - with his Master - almost made Anakin come right then and there, but he managed to stave off his orgasm by squeezing the base of his cock and biting the inside of his cheek until it hurt more than pleased.

Obi-Wan didn’t waste time in getting naked and simply pushed his trousers down far enough to free his cock. It hung between his legs, slightly hidden by his tabards and the heavy folds of fabric that swaddled his broad form. But when he pushed the fabric away and grasped his cock, Anakin was rewarded with confirmation of a suspicion he’d always had.

Obi-Wan’s cock was big. Big and thick and wet.

Many nights Anakin had spent thinking about what Obi-Wan’s cock would look like hard - how much bigger it’d get, flush with blood and arousal, leaking from the tip, foreskin pulled back to show off the head, pink like candy and just waiting to be tasted.

Unsure of what Obi-Wan wanted to do, Anakin remained where he was, resting on his knees, cock sheathed in a toy, precome dribbling from the entrance as he held off his orgasm with the determination only a man waiting to touch his Master’s cock could muster. He’d waited too long for this moment - he wasn’t going to ruin it. He couldn’t ruin it. Staving off his orgasm was more important than anything Anakin had done up to this point - even more than winning the podrace or finishing his finals to become a knight.

Obi-Wan shifted forward then, cock held within his grasp as he positioned it carefully at the other end of the toy. His breath was hot against Anakin’s lips, a little unsteady as it hitched and billowed. Biting his bottom lip, Anakin held himself steady and forward, and watched with deep fascination as Obi-Wan slipped his cock inside to join Anakin’s.

The heads of their cocks touched briefly, squishing against one another in an obscene way, before Obi-Wan slipped his cock underneath Anakin’s to run parallel with him. Obi-Wan’s cock was longer and thicker than Anakin’s, skin and thick muscle framing Anakin’s length, pushing it up against the walls of the toy, squeezing it further.

“Fuck,” Anakin whimpered.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Obi-Wan said, voice soft and patient - almost as if he were guiding Anakin through a meditation.

It made Anakin’s cock leak further, spilling out into the toy and on to Obi-Wan’s length.

Obi-Wan gripped the toy with both hands, freeing up Anakin’s grip. Not knowing what to do with them, he braced them tentatively on Obi-Wan’s shoulders, the dense cotton already stained by Anakin’s seed and sweat. Obi-Wan squeezed down on the toy, applying further pressure around Anakin’s cock, and he let out a quiet demand to start moving. Without hesitation Anakin started thrusting again, a pitiful moan slipping past his lips as he felt and watched their cocks slide together inside the toy.

The sounds alone were obscene, a thick suction sound pairing with the slap of their balls and the grunts of their pleasure. Neither looked at one another and instead stayed transfixed with the sight between them, their cocks sliding together, pushing up against one another before gliding along each other’s lengths, balls swinging, thigh muscles flexing as they humped into the fleshlight between them.

“Thats it - that’s a good boy,” Obi-Wan grunted out, voice tense and thick with desire.

Anakin didn’t think he’d ever be able to forget how Obi-Wan sounded just before an orgasm.

Gripping Obi-Wan’s shoulders tighter, Anakin humped faster, shoving his cock in and out at a quick speed, delighting in how good their cocks looked together, pushed up and leaking all over one another, the clear silicone bringing out the red and pink hues of their cock-heads.

And then Obi-Wan lifted Anakin’s chin with one hand, palm hot along his jaw, making Anakin look at him as they continued to fuck the toy. His eyes were dark, the pupils blown wide, swallowing up all the blue. His breath was stilted, his nostrils flared, cheeks pink, while his hair stuck to his brow and temples, sweat dripping down his strong features.

Obi-Wan kissed him then.

Anakin groaned into the embrace, lips parting as Obi-Wan rubbed his tongue against his own before sucking on it. It was messy and uncoordinated, Anakin coating Obi-Wan in his spit as they fucked the toy together, desperate for release. Moaning into Obi-Wan’s mouth, Anakin curled his hands in his hair and tugged, pulling at the silken copper locks, pushing his bare chest against Obi-Wan’s clothed one, enjoying how his nipples rubbed against the coarse material.

“Darling,” Obi-Wan whimpered against Anakin’s lips.

That was all it took.

With a loud moan Anakin came, spilling into the toy and coating Obi-Wan’s cock with his release. Hips twitching he pushed himself all the way in, the tip of his cock burrowed in the coarse hair at the base of Obi-Wan’s cock. Pleasure coursed through him, his cock aching, balls drawn up tight, body shuddering as Obi-Wan licked at the roof of his mouth and swallowed his moans.

Breaking away from the kiss, Anakin rested his forehead on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, grunting slightly as Obi-Wan continued to fuck into the fleshlight, using Anakin’s come and the press of his soft cock to get off himself. He came with a soft sigh, body tensing, Anakin’s attention fixed on the sight of seeing Obi-Wan’s come coat the inside of the toy, adding to the mess Anakin had already made.

Falling back on the bed once they were both done, Anakin closed his eyes and breathed in deep, mouth parted as he tried to catch his breath and process what had just happened. Mutely he could feel Obi-Wan moving about, the toy being tossed aside before a warm body hovered above his own. Opening his eyes, Anakin peered up at Obi-Wan through heavy lids.

Obi-Wan smiled as he brushed spit from the corner of Anakin’s lips, the callous on his thumb pleasantly rough.

“You did well, Anakin. For a beginner.”

Anakin shoved Obi-Wan gently. “I won’t be a beginner for long,” he mumbled. Still feeling emboldened and confident, Anakin tilted his head to the side and kissed Obi-Wan’s pulse-point. He could still taste his spit on his lips, smell his sex on his skin, feel the heat of his body. His cock twitched in delight. “Maybe next time you can show me how to use a dildo…”

“How about we just use my cock?” Obi-Wan purred.

[montimer]

Joker x hero!reader

Him being ur number one fan (and ur his ;])

Reader in denial and bit dummy

(Could be any ver)

-Back in the hideout-

He jumped to the television when he heard your name. He left whatever he was focusing on, now sitting excitedly infront of the tv. Eager to see you, hear your voice.

An interviewer managed to get you to talk infront of cameras. 'If this is what you all want so bad..' you thought. 'Can't be that bad right?'

While she was introducing herself, his eyes never left your form. Ignoring her, he would get bored if you wouldn't be staring at the camera. "Silly you, you look adorable as always" he says.

"..and today here we are with (heroname)! Say how does it feel like to be one of Gotham's best hero?"

One of? Why they are number one! The best of all.

"Ahah, i wouldn't say that.."

Sweet, as you are always huh?

He kept on watching the show. He focused on every word you said, deeply acknowledging them. Getting worked up whenever the interviewer said something that he didn't like, speaking out loud, correcting her. Talking to no one but the box infront of him.

But one specific question made him go quiet.

"There's this one villain that seems to be very attached to you. You know who im talking about don't you?" The question made you wordless. 'Why yes he sure has been acting weird with you, but its not like that..right?' You tried to calm your nerves. After an awkward second you answered.

"Uh, yeah? Who might that be?" 'Just act dumb, just act dumb'

"The clown prince of crime of course, haven't you noticed?"

You chuckled awkwardly. You kinda felt this coming

"Soo, what do you think of such criminal? C'mon the world wants to know!" She asked you half begging.

Your mind begin to race through options.

'If i say nice things about him, they'll think im on his side, but if i don't, he might get mad' but why do you care? Do you happen to-?

"(Heroname)?"

Oh oh right, answers

"Well uh, well- he's sure is hard to deal with,,but ya know at the end of the day justice always wins!..well expect those few times he got away.."

"Hmm interesting but i'd like to hear more of a, personal opinion"

You tried your best to stay formal, now what? They say honesty is one way of heroism

"Hmm, i'd say he's a genius, just think of the things he builds, the toxin he makes. He's also pretty funny, i mean when he's not hurting others of course! What i ment was..his jokes are great. You gotta have lots of creativity to tell a joke. He's quite a looker too, his costume is nice and all..mmm was that personal?"

The interviewer looked both surprised and amused.

"Yes, that was definitely personal!" She said excitedly.

The amount of eyes made you even more nervous than before. You tried not to face palm. Instead you excused yourself, waved at the camera and flight away.

The interview came to an end.

'Gosh i just hope he wasn't watching' oh but he was, every single second

And there in the hideout he stared at the empty screen. Unmoving, processing slowly what you said.

Hey what did you blurt out just now? Genius,funny,handsome?

He begin to smile wide. Jumping up and down laughing excitedly. Acting like some teenage girl having a crush on a celebrity.

He knew it! You loved him just as much as he loved you! And here he was worrying you were gonna say something mean. Nonsense, why of course with his genius mind-as you said- he could figure it out in a snap of a finger!

He went to pick up the little plushy of you, cuddling up to it. He had every piece of merch he could get his hands on.(and photos he took of you while you weren't looking)

He usually steals them from local shops, and sometimes feeling jealousy upon seeing people cuddle up to the tiny form of you, he burns the rest. No one can touch whats his! He's sure they understand (incase they don't they should know whats coming to them)

In his mind its special and only he can have it, after all he is your biggest fan.

[s0lace-1n-s0l1tude]

Tumblr get to know me:

-Favorite type of music from @sparky4577 :

I don't really know tbh,I can like pop as much as rock or metal. I wouldn't really say I have a favorite band or artist.

-Weirdest thing I've ever done from @the-fallen-collective: I'm not sure... There's eating cereal with orange juice,eating serial with water,the toothpaste and ice sandwich,trying to eat a worm,bringing a lizard to school idk

Some of my lore from @deeply-moonstruck:

I'm not that much of an interesting person, actually. So in the nursery or whatever, there was a guy who had a crush on me, and he wouldn't stop biting me so I flung a Hot Wheels car into his eye and he never did it again. There was this girl in my first year of primary school who would always blame me for things she did or accuse me of things I didn't do and the teachers would always believe her since she was a grade above me and I was too confused to say anything. So I got into plenty of trouble because of her, and I still hate her to this day. But I'm not above doing something like that either since a grade later I got a classmate in trouble for hitting me when he didn't. I got a concussion because I fell while running in the halls. (I got a second one a few months ago) I was the gifted kid, and every of my teachers either put me on a pedestal or despised me. And they all thought I was autistic. (They might've been right ngl) So my parents took me to a psychologist who didn't get me diagnosed with anything, but about 4 years later, I got diagnosed with adhd. I fistfought a girl for spreading false rumors of me dating my best friend at the time.On the same year of my diagnosis I had a racist teacher everyone hated since she mostly targeted students of color but she was awful with everyone in general. She was old,so I heard she's dead now lmfao,I'm not gonna get too much into detail cuz this is already long as hell, but I also have some form of trauma from her. And school in general,especially work. Queue my first year of highschool and my whole class hates me for being the "gifted kid" and they try to bully me but it was so pathetic I didn't even notice. Late half of second year burn out finally hits. Then depression. I kinda bullied some girl but it got sorted out. My grades went down by a lot. Not much else to say from here I think. Quick addition: my primary school was apparently haunted, and strange things did happen and I make a separate post about it/srs (keep in my mind we were kids so it probably wasn't that bad)

In last year of primary,I pissed off my art substitute so much she threw scissors at me and if flew right past my eye lol, but eventually became our actual teacher because ours died the same year. Teachers hated me for being introverted and not being very skilled with my hands, so I spent plenty of recesses inside finishing work for school events. Which I later learned was apparently illegal.

Current obsession by @kaiserkisser : Literature,Bungou to Alchemist/Stray Dogs

Fave short story by @cherubsaliaa : Anything by Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

If I was a dog breed, which one would I be from @p1xel-1mp: Doberman Pinscher,specifically in all black or a wolfdog

Favorite mythical creature by @p1xel-1mp : Kitsunes,Medusa,Dragons, and probably a lot of other things, but this is getting way too long

Let me know if you want a part 2

I'm tagging y'all so you can see this

@windyskiez @zestylemonsz @sky-the-weirdo-ace @casinoownersigma @swimminginyokohamasrivers @creatorbiaze @bananaede @cocaine-cass @solzinstarzzz @teddyandmochi @1-d0nt-w4nn4-b3-m3-4nym0r3 @cherubsaliaa @just-floating-around @suicideenthusiast @kimisbunny @myluckymoon @patiori

[awellboiledicicle]

Think humans in Palia have emotional regulation issues for the first like year?

Because it's hard to know how to act when your whole everything suddenly doesn't have much to go on outside of vague impressions of feelings about things you don't remember.

Which, honestly, is probably why humans in Kilima just kinda do whatever. Majiri probably just assume humans are Like that until it occurs to some scholar that there's probably just as much psychological distress in a human as a Majiri having memory loss and displacement. Which I feel soon becomes the standard assumption for interacting with humans for people in the know-- assume you're talking to the most barely keeping it together person possible and go from there.

Which is also probably why humans integrating into Palian society are given so much leeway re: knowing customs etc. Because a lot of trauma and stress responses would quickly get wrapped into "that's just how humans are".

I imagine if memory came back, it'd be very disjointed in how it did so--if it ever does and it isn't your brain trying desperately to make shit up to feel normal.

Imagine being a human and having super strong aversions to things and not knowing why, but after like 3 years you get a super strong nightmare about some terrible thing that happened and you're faced with "am i remembering, or am i processing my current emotions?"

Like i know my character Mo would be deeply uncomfortable being called a fire kind and wouldn't know why being likened to a wildfire for their passion makes a pit form in their stomach-- until a campfire gets out of hand in the woods and they freeze for a second before flashing back to orange skies and raining ash. People crying as everything they've ever known is destroyed, huddling in a field and trying to keep children calm. Because they're heavily based on me and I get a very specific way about wildfires because the western half of the USA and Canada just kinda goes up in flames literally every year and its a gamble if you'll need to flee your home any given week in the summer.

But we also don't know if the missing memories are amnesia or just... you were 3d printed and imprinted with enough knowledge to be an adult that wouldn't starve to death instantly.

Which means our characters could be having wild flashbacks and weird sense memories creep up on them out of nowhere, or experience frustration that there's legitimately nothing to remember.

Thoughts.

[beemers-hell]

Like you did with Doc, can we get your Tricky headcanons please (smiley emoji)

Same format as last time then!

Tricky HCs!

Around ~60-65ish

AMAB gender whatever, doesn't really give a fuck to label himself anything specific Period, he uses "clown" to refer to himself in both the first and third person anyway

Around ~6'07"ish

Mexican (I'm not projecting)

The only thing Hofnarr had going on with him in life was being autistic asf which led him to being very skittish and socially withdrawn but academically superior, and being autistic still applies to Tricky, though he doesn't face the same challenges nor have the same academic desires he did when he was alive bc of him lowkey being a reality bending God atp lmao. He can do whatever he wants now so if something clashes with the autism negatively then he can instantly get rid of it (I'm not projecting)

Aside from that, the only afflictions he's got going on are what you'd expect of a fuckin 60 year old rotting zombie lol

He is still the genius he was when he was Hofnarr! And he's not trying to hide it or anything like that! His interests have just shifted from the academic world to frivolous things that bring him instantaneous satisfaction, like DJing and Partying and Killing People, obvs lol. This isn't to say he doesn't still get enjoyment out of flexing his brain and putting his smarts to use, he just acts much more on impulse and short term dopamine rushes, as opposed to how Hofnarr acted mainly on careful methodical planning and long term dopamine cycles.

He had a thing going on with Jeb when he was still Hofnarr, though neither of them really "pursued" it in a very Definitive or Official capacity. It was very much a "What are we?" kind of situation ykwim. He did of course care very deeply for Christoff but Jeb was too emotionally closed off to truly let him in like that, so it was mainly relegated to chance intimate moments and the occasional heat of the moment "incidents" lol, but they missed out on something real. Tricky, even now, knows there's a part of him that still feels that way for Jeb but he knows damn well that they're not gonna have what they could've all that time ago, so he's more content to just playfully tease him and dick around and get on his nerves than pursue something more, Jeb can't keep up with Tricky's insanity the same way others could. This esp applies in dad au, where Jeb is essentially Boxxy's second dad since he helped raise her, but he's not "with" Tricky like that.

Despite what you'd expect of a homicidal freak like Tricky is, he's incredibly social and down to hang and do whatever cause he's always in search of a good time! Except if he's pissed off about something with Hank or the AAHW but I digress. Dude fuckin loves clubbing and headlining sets for them, he loves breaking it down on the dancefloor, of course half the time he parties it ends in him fuckin massacring the joint he's chilling at but tbh, maybe you just need to get used to the "killin" part of "chillin n killin"

The visual of the static and words that pops up around him in the series obvs is just a cool visual thing with him but I like to think that he can just like…do that shit lol. Like if he so feels inclined, he'll project screams and static into the minds of people, which effects them in such a way where their brain functions are numbed to hell and they practically cease being able to make decisions, form thoughts, or even use brain power to move their bodies n shit, and they're just subjected to internal screaming in addition to whatever the fuck Tricky feels like doing to them.

Whenever he scuffles with Hank, he Especially tries to not use any cheap tricks to get a leg up over him, bc Hank is one of the few people who can actually give him a challenge in a fight and that makes things WAAAAAAY more exciting and fun, so doing some underhanded shit he could easily pull bc of his reality bending powers just makes shit less fun, and he values fun over anything else. Unless Hank actually manages to piss him the fuck off during a fight, in which cause He won't give a fuck anymore, and he'll go full fuck it we ball mode n try whatever to kill his ass, like going flame demon mode n chasing him n shit like that

When he talks he audibly uses tone indicators out loud, like verbally saying "slash J" or "slash Joke" out loud when he speaks. he doesn't do it to be courteous or whatever he just thinks its sounds funny as hell

[broodingheroine]

tmagp 23 thoughts

little late bc I didn't have time to listen at work but we're in it now

"a new you" is eerily reminiscent of the not!them and I don't like that!

especially after we got the jmart name drop last ep

pulled up the transcript to read along and HARLAN GUTHRIE???? THE MALEVOLENT GUY? THE GUY IVE BENE LISTENING TO FOR 48 HOURS STRAIGHT,

I'm scared that he wrote this ep

yes yes sam doing you're pointless paperwork. please stop getting so involved in them.

piece like.... like piecemeal??

love forum stuff it's so fun

"smiley face" lmao

so..... they're stealing a fish?

SLEEP WITH IT? WHAT IS IT?

oh it's coral

SCALPEL?

I'm sorry is this person growing coral under their skin

a coral baby? is that the goal here?

when your ARMS start to go??,,

oh my god is she giving physical form to the other half of the brain or whatever??? what the hell????

oh! okay so evil doppelganger! cool!

damn jmart fuckin dead

BASIRA AND HELEN???????

aww gwens pouting

dyhard content let's go

ah gwen calling ink5oul "it" is...... I get why but removing the humanity from the monstrous will make you underestimate them in a bad way

EYES????? HOW MANY EYES A REGULAR HUMAN HAS????

okay loving the dyhard team up in our future

so I'm still SO sus abt celia. I do not like her. I'm deeply deeply concerned about her motivations.

sam is also really fuckin testing me

anywho! back to my malevolent listen

[mischiefmaker615]

Ghost (Loki Love Story) Ch.11

Loki sat on the couch with his arms crossed, being sure to take the spot next to you to beat anyone who had the idea of taking that place first while he opted to drop his disguise and give his magic a break. He looked deeply annoyed, probably because he got interrupted while you both were in the middle of.. something and part of him also looked intrigued at whatever Idea the two Avengers have to present while you both were away.

You only crossed your arms loosely so you wouldn’t be awkwardly pressed up against Loki, the action in the bathroom still leaving a blush on your cheeks as you forced yourself to focus on Strange- sitting in the chair in front of you all while Steve made himself sit next to Loki on the other side of the couch.

‘’I’m not saying it will work, but there’s a large chance that it might.. and there’s differently a large chance you’ll hate it..’’ Strange’s eyes flicked to yours and you instantly felt uncomfortable with whatever idea was coming your way. Loki on the other hand raised a brow as he leaned forward, almost like a child waiting for the next part of the story in eagerness.

Steve sat with his arms crossed tighter, something deeply agitating him as you sneak a peak at him, Loki immediately leaning forward to block your view when he noticed, and you rolled your eyes as you eagerly looked back at Strange when he spoke.

‘’Hela is not stupid, but she assumed you would be.’’ He began and you raised a brow.

‘’interesting way to begin things..’’ you said sarcastically and Strange shook his head as he leaned his arms against his knees, fingers laced together as he stared at the ground to think and speak.

‘’Hela somehow knew Loki was your.. other half,’’ he explained, finding it awkward as if to say ‘soulmate’. ‘’but she saw your.. disinterest in him so figured you wouldn’t end up together anytime soon for your.. curse surprise.’’

You couldn’t help but shift in place awkwardly while you listened, finding it uncomfortable with the new terminology and topic that Loki was indeed your soul mate- whether you excepted it or not. You were bound by blood, there was no denying it.

‘’if not at all. You could have gone your whole life without falling for each other or seeing each other, the curse might not have even worked if you hadn’t.. caught feelings’’ Strange explained, seeing Steve roll his eyes as he kept taking interest at the wall in the opposite direction of Loki.

Loki seemed to notice his discomfort in the topic, giving a smirk at Steve’s displeasure- that immediately disappeared when you elbowed him.

‘’I think this was more personal.’’ Strange then looked at Loki, and Loki’s expression slowly faulted at the sudden attention. ‘’I’ll try to simplify things…’’

“Hela hated Y/N, yes, but there was little chance her curse would have worked if Y/N didn’t fall for you. but she knew you did, and knew your wants and desires for the thrown.’’

Loki’s eyes widened as pieces started forming.

‘’Hela was willing to take that chance, and used this particular curse to be subtle than some large chaotic mess. She thought that if you both fell for each other sooner.. and be stuck together, that particular issue would have made it impossible to properly-‘’

‘’run a throne..’’ Loki finished, his expression emotionless but his tone showed his growing rage at the realization his sister was trying to pull. In the end, this was never really about Y/N.. Hela was trying to subtly lower his chances at getting the thrown so she could claim it herself! Nobody wanted a cursed king on the thrown with a wife glued to his side.. literally.

Y/N’s eyes slowly looked over at Loki that seemed to have taken interest at the wall Steve had been staring at, his fists clenching as he tried distracting himself with the fact that had been trying to use mischief against him to rid his chances at the thrown. Bump one heir off, Thor had to have been next if things hadn’t turned out the way they did in the end after Ragnarök..

‘’so.. did you think about how to fix this in the end? Hela is gone, we’re still stuck. That’s what matters..’’ you say quietly, putting a hand on Loki’s to bring him back to the present, his body instantly relaxing as he raised his thumb to grip your hand above his.

‘’again.. it’s a chance, it might not even work so we should just think of other things..’’ Steve said in almost a mumble, shifting uncomfortably and Loki took a notice.

‘’ohh now I am intrigued in what this is about’’ Loki smirked, almost mocking him as he basked in the soldier’s eternal discomfort.

Strange gave a heavy sigh as he sat back and gripped the arms of the chair, almost looking as if he were struggling to do all the awkward explaining while you and Loki gazed upon him in anticipation.

‘’well.. Hela thought you would hate Loki, given how much you shown your disinterest in him..’’

You look away at the remembrance. It wasn’t truly personal you supposed, the royal mischief maker just tended to tick you off at times and the action in New York certainly didn’t help.

‘’she wanted you to feel stupid, like the answer right in front of your face but you be to stubborn to actually.. do it..’’ Strange indicated.

There was a pause of silence, Loki raising a brow while Steve stared at the floor. It took you half a second to realize until your eyes widened and you sat straight up. ‘’do- it? like.. do it do it?!’’

‘’I suppose I could tell you I told you so..’’ Loki said while a hand rubbing the back of his neck, giving a small awkwardness in his voice that also said he didn’t have a problem with the idea.

You quickly shook your head as you took steps back, quickly remembering your teleporting thing so you opted in gripping a chair between you and the rest, looking between all of them. ‘’SO. Your heads all put together, still came up with the idea that in order to break this curse, this BOND, we need to have sex?!’’

Strange shrugged his shoulders while Steve ran a hand through his hair. ‘’I don’t exactly like it either Y/N,’’ Steve said, glancing at Loki with hidden disgust at the idea. ‘’I don’t even think it’s going to work. How would having.. er- sex with your soul mate, make you both break away? If anything, it should be a given when you find your soul mate so how would that be a curse? Most people would actually enj-‘’

‘’okay-‘’ you held your hand up, stopping Steve’s mini rant and was willing to bet he might still be a virgin if he was being this awkward with the terminology at hand. Yet he had a point, and your eyes wondered the atmosphere as if in search of the answer. It wasn’t until your eyes landed on Loki, was when his eyes went wide as well and he slowly got to his feet.

‘’as much as I hate agreeing with the soldier,’’ Loki waved him off on the couch without so much as looking at him as he looked at you with your chair between you both. ‘’he’s right. Being.. intimate isnt a curse, Hela wishes to hurt me..’’ his words were cut short and he grew pale just as your eyes went wide as well, your lips parting with lost words.

Strange stood as he looked between you to and raised a brow. ‘’what is it?’’

‘’oh fuck..’’ you breathed and glanced at Strange. ‘’..Hela means to hurt him.. be stuck with me like this, he loses the throne. However if we wished to separate.. the only way to do so is if I hurt him..’’

‘’like.. physically?’’ Steve asked, his voice quiet as he stared up at you both from where you sat and you shook your head.

‘’no, physical pain can heal.. emotional can’t.. and with everyone already hurting him in his family life.. a soul mate that would betray you is the ultimate hurt.. which means for us to break this bond and separate.. I will need to hurt him..’’

‘’by having sex with someone else..’’ Strange finished, his voice barely a whisper as the room suddenly grew cold. 

~

‘’absolutely not! I’d rather be stuck like this forever!’’ Loki raged, having blown up about 30 minutes ago and he still hasn’t calmed down while he paced your living room.

It was a very long and awkward drive, Steve looking as calm as even while he drove you both back- almost as if he was happy you weren’t going to have sex with the destroyer of New York.

‘’don’t think that this isn’t hard for me either- I’m having to play destiny’s puppet’’ you snap, crossing your arms as your eyes went back and forth watching him from your spot on the couch.

Loki was to enraged by all this that he even still had his illusion up, rocking a sleek blue suit this time with his short blond hair from before. Even angry, he looked gorgeous as he stopped to glare at you. ‘’destiny’s puppet- what about me?? I’m suppose to sit on the side lines while you fuck some.. dude?? And to make matters worse, we’re stuck together so I have to be yay-close while you fuck someone and I can’t even retreat away from it!’’ he threw his hands up in the air and you shuddered as he was right, shaking your head as you tried not to think ahead to that.

‘’assuming I even go through with this..’’

Loki stopped, looking at you with still hesitation and raised a brow. ‘’you want to remain like this? I don’t min-‘’

‘’no- yes? Gah I don’t know!’’ you exclaimed and hid your face in your hand, your wings puffing up in anticipation while your other arm in the sling began to throb in pain. ‘’I have a life Loki.. I wanted to go, do, see, as much as we’ve been making it work, it’s not an easy thing to do together forever..’’ your voice was quiet and you slowly got up, turning towards the kitchen before you glanced at him to follow.

‘’where are you going?’’ he said quietly, his eyes calmed as his body began to slowly sulk while he took a step towards you.

‘’I need pain medication. I sometimes forget I can’t use my arm yet and must have flexed the muscle while I speak upon instinct’’ you mumble and reluctantly he follows while you reach up into a particular cabinet and get a pain pill.

Loki leaned against the counter with his arms loosely crossed, staring at you with a still expression while you took your medication. Running a hand through his hair as he sighed, that’s when he seemed to notice he was still holding his illusion and with a sliver of bright green, he was back in his original attire- the clothes he had borrowed from Steve from the morning before this mess happened.

‘’are you leaning towards a particular decision?’’ he asked quietly, walking over to your fridge and opening it to search for something.

You were to stressed to care and if you were both living here anyway, he might as well fully make himself at home.. ‘’I don’t know..’’

‘’that doesn’t seem like a logical answer. Upon decisions, one always is leaning more towards one..’’ he explains and pulls out a wine bottle, popping the top off before pouring himself a glass that was on the counter.

‘’I think you’re just saying that to try to find out an answer. I. don’t. know. Okay?’’ you asked with slight irritation while you watched the red liquid swirl around the glass while he set the bottle down.

He sighed heavily as he took a sip, his eyes closed as he focused on the flavor before looking back at you, regret in his eyes as he asked his next question. ‘’have you ever slept with him?’’

Your eyes went wide with shock at the audacity and swiped the bottle from the counter. ‘’Steve?? Jesus no- why are you so bothered about him so much?’’ you questioned and took a long sip straight from the bottle.

Loki held his expression as he stared off and swirled his wine again. ‘’oh I don’t know Y/N, maybe because you have spare clothes and such for him hear, you both tend to be buddy-buddy all the time and I’ve seen the way he looks at you. he wouldn’t be bothered so much by my presence if something didn’t happen.’’

You narrowed your eyes at him, holding eye contact as you took another sip- as if you were drinking purely to tolerate him. ‘’first off, it’s none of your business. Second, he and I work closely together and have saved each other’s lives countless times in the field. How could you not get close to something like that?-‘’

‘’so you did do something-‘’

‘’we’re close friends Loki and have each other’s backs. That is all. On my end anyway, if you being a dude who can sense some dude- feeling stuff going on in another dude, that’s your issue. But Steve has been nothing but kind and supportive. Especially during these times-‘’

Loki took a longer sip of his drink and narrowed his eyes. ‘’these times? So perhaps that would make him a perfect candidate to break this spell?-‘’

‘’don’t be stupid, I don’t even know what I’m going to do about that yet. And you most certainly are making it tempting to create some distance if you’re going to be an ass about all this.’’ You hiss and take another long swing, Loki narrowing his eyes as he slowly took a few steps towards you, his shoes practically touching yours as you lowered the bottle from your lips as your eyes held a stalemate with his before he reached slowly and took the bottle from you to pour himself another glass.

‘’we’ll think of something, alright?’’ he said carefully, tension still between you as he raised his cup to his lips and you sighed, looking away from him as you began to feel your cheeks growing warm.

Shit- you shouldn’t have taken a pain killer with alcohol..

Tag List: @violethaze @fire-in-her-veinz

[awakentheeldritchabomination]

First Random Writing Dump

CW: mentions of self harm and emotional abuse

As decreed by the poll, most of ya’ll seem fine with a little bit of word vomit, and since I have some time, I’m just gonna spew a bit of my thoughts on my version of Charlie so far. It won’t be much, just a jumbled list of rough ideas. I don’t know how set I am with these, but here goes:

- They may or may not be renamed

- They use they/them pronouns but don’t correct people who misgender them; they find gender to be an odd concept, and they can’t quite grasp why people care so much about it

- They know a lot about human history but have not personally interacted with many people beyond what is necessary (until later)

- Their capacity to empathize with the plight of humans comes from guilt, their mother, who is still going to be Lilith… maybe…., a horrific chance encounter, and their relationship with V (gotta pick a name for her lol)

- Still, growing up in a privileged position largely removed from the sinners’ reality while being surrounded by reminders that these people invited suffering through their own wickedness has given them this sense of innate superiority; they are semi-aware of the fact that their elitist mindset exists and is not…great…but they prefer to bury it under toxic positivity and pretend it’s not an issue

- They have been trained to fight (heaven and hell are still basically at war, after all), but they’ve never had a real battle, and they’ve certainly never killed anyone before; the weight of dealing death terrifies and paralyzes them

- They are aware of what they are, and they deeply fear what they are capable of

- They are not very well acquainted with their demonic form, and they’d rather not be; it’s often triggered by ugly feelings they don’t want to confront

- Yeah, they’ve got some things going on deep down. Beneath the sunshine and rainbows and genuinely good intentions, there’s this raw, wriggling darkness, gnawing on their insides like maggots; they don’t know why

- Spoilers: it’s the manipulation and emotional abuse Lucifer subjected them to as well as the resentment harbored against both parents for deciding to bring a child into a realm meant as an eternal torture chamber for evil people; they don’t consciously recognize the abuse they experienced because of strategic subtly, gaslighting, and isolation from other experiences. Both they and Lilith know something about Lucifer is off, and it creates this eerie, underlying fear that permeates every interaction, yet neither of them know how bad it actually is; Also Lilith likes to make excuses just like: “Oh, don’t be like that. He’s just doing whatever coz he loves you :)”

- Their warring sides will come to a head; the anger inside them will boil over, and they will be a terror

- Lucifer cuts them off after a falling out that occurs because of the hotel proposal; they will only be accepted back once they’ve “come to their senses”

- Charlie and Alastor have a weird relationship; they’ve got this yin-yang, mirrored image thing going on; they:

1. Are both biracial and are torn between different worlds

2. Have distanced themselves from one (their blackness. Yeah, Charlie is technically half black. But it’s a little more about their relation to the whole of humanity for them), but while one is actively trying to seek it out, the other has been conditioned to avoid it

3. Are performers (which will play a role in discussions of identity, y’know, what it means to perform an aspect of identity; what is whiteness vs blackness; queerness vs heteronormative ideals; how we generally define them and individually express them. But it’s also just “hey, we both like doing a thing. Oh, wow. Neat.”)

4. Have a volatile amount of anger that makes them violently lash out

5. Have strictly opposing yet similarly extreme moral principles

this will also be present in their designs (they have opposing coloration: blue vs red, white on black vs black on white, etc.); then there’s the wolf vs deer thing… I feel like I’d need a separate post to go through all that. I feel like this is already a lot lol

- They kinda feel conflicted about being friends with Al because he allows them to cut loose a bit and have fun, and they weirdly enough have a bit in common….but like…. dude ate people…..uhhhhhhh (does that make them a bad person if they like a literal murderer?), but then they think “I’m not supposed to judge. I’m supposed to help (and I’m totally fine….right….?). Meanwhile, V’s just like, “No, babe, please judge”

- They don’t like absolute silence, and they don’t like being alone; it allows their mind to wander into dangerous places; since Alastor is a literal radio that spits out music and static constantly, they sometimes just seek him out when their thoughts are too loud. Like, he just becomes a sentient noise machine for them basically

- Charlie’s got a habit of chewing on things when they’re nervous—pens, the inside of their cheek, their nails—coz dog (or….wolf….dragon….thingy); it’s usually harmless, but when they feel especially bad, they bite themselves (sometimes they bite the stuffing out of pillows as a substitute); when they start to more aggressively gnaw on their nails, V usually tries to guide their hand away

- They hide under the bed when they are feeling particularly miserable and anxious

There’s a lot more crap brewing, and I didn’t go into as much detail as I could have…. But I think that’s enough for maybe the week idk. If anyone’s at all curious, I might make another post about V or something.

Leave thoughts in the notes if you wanna!

[dandelion-blues]

Bittersweet Blood

About:

What if Loki was Sally Jackson? Thus, Percy is born a half-blood of two gods from differing patheons. It's time Loki and Percy took the Marvel Universe by storm.

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Chapter 2, Part 2: The Sea Protects

Loki breathes in deeply, amazed that he is breathing in water, as he does air. The currents around them swell, and fish swim all around him in shimmering colors - their bioluminescence lighting up the dark depths of the ocean, and glowing plants sway in the currents, the colors lighting up the waters. 

However, this is nothing compared to the palace in front of Loki. It glows, showing its proud and majestic features. Jewels and pearls decorate its exterior tastefully, with stone carved beautifully as crafted art of the tides and oceans and life. Somehow, yet, the palace still looks daunting, its beautiful exterior a beautiful mask, hiding dangerous points and defenses with a carefree grace when one begins to look more closely at its majesty. 

“Enjoying the view, my απατεών (“shark”),” Poseidon grins at Loki’s awe of his kingdom. His “human” form shed to his simple mer form, with now dark cobalt skin sparkling with dark golden highlights, and his two twin tails grace the water. His long black hair now has a hint of blue in it, and his eyes reflect the deep dark waters around them. He, however, does not change to his royal attire or complete royal form that Loki has seen before, all sparkling and brilliant and deadly, as they need to stay inconspicuous for now. 

Though, Poseidon is still 15 feet tall, about 3 ft taller than the average mer person, and Loki is 6’2”, so they are still bound to stick out a bit.

“Shark,” Loki rolls his eyes once again grateful for Allspeak, “You really couldn’t come up with a better nickname my ᚲᛚᛟᚹᚾ ᚠᛁᛋᚺ.”

“Yet you call me clown fish,” Poseidon rolls his eyes, but looks at Loki fondly, “Besides sharks are a dangerous beauty, much like you are αγαπητε μου (“my dear”).”

Loki’s cheeks heated up, despite himself, “Yes, while clown fish was mainly to jab at your striking sense of humor, I know that clownfish are protective fathers, and you will do whatever it takes for the safety of our child.” 

Loki holds his still flat stomach tenderly and looks fiercely into Poeidon’s beautiful deep greens, “It's why you blessed me to breathe underwater, even when I would have been fine due to my asgardian biology adjusting to the new environment much like how I can survive in space for long periods of time without air, you didn’t want to risk the baby. ᚺᛖᛚ (“Hel”), we are here under the sea to get help for our child in the first place. You are already an amazing father, my lovely ᚲᛚᛟᚹᚾ ᚠᛁᛋᚺ.” Loki adds on with a sincere smile.

Poseidon's cheeks heat up, and he looks at Loki bashfully. Then, he seems to come to a revelation, “I knew you secretly liked Finding Nemo!”

“I-I don’t,” Loki states indignantly, “I just think that Marlin’s parenting is admirable, with how much he cares even when his child is different.” Loki then gets lost in his thoughts, wishing that, despite his differences, his father Odin was that protective and loving. Alas, that isn’t the case, and Loki sighs. 

Poseidon senses Loki’s change in mood and goes to squeeze his hand comfortingly.

Loki looks into Poseidon’s worrying eyes, “I-I’m fine Poseidon. Now, let’s go and meet your family.” Loki squeezes Poseidon’s hand back reassuringly, and lets go. Then, Loki breathed in and straightened his back, the posture and stance fit for a prince, and walked (swam?) into the palace with grace.

Luckily, the visit wasn’t unexpected for Amphitrite nor Triton. They just didn’t know the circumstances or who they were meeting with Poseidon. Although, it still came as a surprise that with Poseidon came the Norse god Loki walking side by side together into the throne room. 

Loki bowed politely, “Pleased to meet you, your royalties, Queen Amphtrite and High Prince Triton of the seas. I am Prince Loki Odinson of Asgard.”

They quickly got over their shock, though, and bowed to Loki as fellow god royals, “Greetings Prince Loki Odinson of Asgard.”

Amphtrite asked, “Now what brings you here, Prince Loki.”

Loki takes a shaky go to open his mouth to speak, and nothing comes out. He tries again, and he can’t speak. He looks to Poseidon for support.

But Amphitrite cuts in warmly, “Why don’t we go somewhere more comfortable since I feel this will be a tough discussion.” 

Then, she leads them into a comfortable room with soft chairs to sit at, placed around a simple round table in the middle of the room. It's all soft blues and greens, with a sandy wall, groves carved into it like ocean waves, and a soft floor of sand with simple plants to the sides, and bioluminescence all placed smartly on the ceiling and walls like shimmering pearls to light to room up enough for comfort.

Amphirtite looks patiently at Poseidon and Loki once they are all seated down. Her gorgeous golden hair like beach-grass pinned back in nets of pearls and silk, a circlet of polished sharp red crab claws across her brow. She smiled at them warmly, her deep blue eyes like sapphires in calming pools, and her seafoam green skin was decorated in jewels and fineries. Her emerald tails draped in pearls and in silks moved calmly, but her ruby spiked fins and scales glint dangerously as her red circlet - showing her deadly grace and power. 

Triton for now remains silent, and places his seafoam green arms with golden bracers on his forearms much like his mother’s on his lap, his two green twin tails unmoving, their golden highlights much like his father’s sparkle in the room's bioluminescence. His dark blue eyes like the hidden depth of the oceans stare steely ahead, part of his hair pulled back in a ringlet of pearls and a small circlet of golden corral remains atop his head, his dark green hair behind his webbed ears cascading down to his shoulders.

Both of them, much like Poseidon, are dwarfing Loki in height and size, even though they are both around a foot shorter than Poseidon.

Loki takes a deep breath, looks to Poseidon and sees his nod, and tells them everything.

Notes:

Do I care that Finding Nemo came out in 2003? No, because comparing Poseidon to a clownfish was needed here, and was cute as heck, and I don't regret it.

Also, I decided to have Amphitrite have blonde hair instead of black because I thought it would fit her, and the mix between yellow or blonde and blue gets Triton's green which is fun.

Loki may or may not have a crush on the beautiful goddess.

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[reunionatdawn]

My Analysis of the Best Paired Endings in 3H (Part 1: Edelgard/Byleth)

Edelgard: I'm simply having trouble putting this feeling into words. I just felt…I don't know. As if something was drawing me to the Ashen Demon. I wonder… Could it be the influence of my Crest?

The story of 3H pushes Byleth with the lord of each route so hard that it almost felt pointless to add the self-insert dating-sim elements with the other students. In Persona 5, you could date whatever girl you wanted with no effect on the main story. But in 3H, it felt more like Final Fantasy X where there the love story was the main story.

This pairing absolutely felt "canon", at least in CF. As both of them bore the Crest of Flames, I strongly suspect that their relationship was meant to represent the concept of "twin flames". A twin flame is a deep soul connection between two people. They are actually thought to be twin souls inhabiting two bodies. Twin flames seem to mirror one another, have shared similar life paths, history, and sometimes trauma. They are naturally drawn to each other. This description certainly applied to Byleth.

Byleth: Who was your first true love? Edelgard: Hmm. For some reason, I feel compelled to tell you all of these things I have kept hidden. I can't say the name, but it was a noble who I met in the Kingdom, a lifetime ago.

But interestingly, it could apply to Dimitri as well. It is said that one twin flame is supposed to represent the divine masculine half of the soul and the other the divine feminine half. When the masculine and feminine energies of the twins harmonize, the two souls merge and become one.

The "divine feminine" principle is more about charting inner emotional space, while the "divine masculine" principle represents conquering the outer physical world. The characteristics of the divine masculine are logic, rationality, discipline, and assertiveness. The divine feminine is associated with goddess energy. Some of its attributes are intuition, nurturing, loving, and supporting their counterpart.

Edelgard: Professor... You've been crying. So even you cry sometimes. Oh... I suppose that was thoughtless of me to say. Byleth: Yes, it was. Edelgard: Long ago, someone said the same thing to me.

Traditionally, the moon represents divine feminine energy (yin) as opposed to the sun which represents divine masculine energy (yang). Edelgard is cool and collected. She is the active force of the story who wishes to bring about the new dawn. Dimitri is emotional. He is the reactive force whose storyline is symbolized by the moon. You'd expect Edelgard to be a natural yang personality and Dimitri a yin.

But Edelgard was born on the summer solstice as opposed to Dimitri being born on the winter solstice. Edelgard is a Cancer, which is a water sign ruled by the moon. Astrologically, Cancers are associated with yin energy. They are said to have a hard outer shell like a crab but are very soft underneath. Often called the mother of the zodiac, they are known for their deeply emotional and nurturing nature. They form strong attachments to their loved ones and often have a hard time letting go. It is implied that "El" cried when she learned that she'd have to leave the Kingdom. Dimitri was surprised seeing this reaction from her, but it likely influenced his choice of parting gift: a dagger symbolizing the philosophy of the patriarchal Faerghus.

I found it interesting how much Edelgard was displeased by Dimitri's gift. Even at the academy, she prefers if Byleth giver her more traditionally feminine gifts like flowers, a book, or a bear stuffy and she will be unhappy if she is given a weapon. Using a dagger to cut a path has very violent implications, although Dimitri was too young to realize that at the time. He had grown up around blades his whole life and only viewed them as tools of destiny. He wanted to reassure her that they had a future together, as long as she never lost heart. It was meant as a symbol of inner strength, nothing more.

Edelgard: Heh, so you consider me strong, do you? Even if one clings to their faith, the goddess will never answer them. Countless souls will be lost that way. Living without purpose. And I can be counted among those who have died that way as well. But that's why I must change this world, on behalf of the silent and weak! Dimitri: And do you intend to become a goddess yourself? Will you steal the power to take action from the broken-hearted masses you claim to defend?

Cancer's greatest fear is abandonment which can cause them to be clingy. It is implied that El "died" after praying and not receiving any hand reaching out to help her. During her imprisonment, she felt totally alone and forsaken by the goddess. That's when she began to see faith as a sign of inner weakness.

Edelgard was reborn bearing the Crest of Flames. She no longer shed tears and looked to the dagger for strength. Dimitri accused her of trying to supplant the goddess. And while that may not literally be true, perhaps it was true in a figurative sense. CF is about standing firm in your principles and cutting your own path no matter who stands in your way, even the goddess herself.

Dorothea: Is there someone you have your eye on? Edelgard: (Normal): To be honest, there's nothing resembling romance in my life at present. (Has reached Support Rank A with a male): A certain face comes to mind at the thought...though I'm not sure you could call what we have a romance just yet. It's not that I'm disinterested. I'm simply too busy with other endeavors. I have no time to spare for such things.

Ideologically, CF represents the most traditionally masculine path for Byleth to take. Edelgard is drawn to them regardless of gender, what route you choose, and even in Hopes. But she is drawn to their stoic masculine energy and even seemed somewhat disappointed that they were crying after Jeralt's death. Women can certainly embody divine masculine energy and vice versa. Twin flames are not based on biological sex. Overall, the fandom understandably prefers Edeleth with female Byleth for the less stereotypical aspects.

But I found it interesting that even though this very Support conversation implies that Edelgard is bisexual, the dialogue only changes (I tested this myself) if she has A-Support with a male. Edelgard has paired endings with a few other male characters, but not a single one of them has the level of emotional intimacy she has with Byleth. They read like political marriages, while Edelgard truly wanted a passionate romance.

Shez asks about memories of the past. Edelgard: Have I told you about the boy who gave me the dagger? I called him "Dee," which is all I really remember about him.

The tagline for FE3H was, "Sweet memories twisted by time's cruel hand". Dimitri said the day he gifted her the dagger was a sweet memory with a bitter ending. It's unclear why she couldn't recall that Dimitri was her first love. Perhaps when she realized her "fated path" would force her to go to war with someone so special to her, the pain caused her psyche to block out the memories of him and his identity. Who knows.

Edelgard: There was nothing I could do to save him. And so, the very least I could do was— Byleth: Are you crying? Edelgard: No. The Edelgard who shed tears died many years ago. Everything that's happened...it's all just part of the ebb and flow of history.

After Dimitri cursed "El" at the Tailtean Plains, she may have finally realized he was "Dee". In their A-Support, Edelgard admitted that she was actually relieved that Byleth could feel some human emotions like jealousy, but she tells them that they are both "detached" (actually "inhuman" in the JP version). Because of this, Byleth was someone she could relate to. And she does come across as rather inhuman at times. She finally does cry when she thinks Byleth dies, indicating her old self had come back to life in some way. But she was unable to cry when she killed anyone else. Even her old flame.

Edelgard: You called me El. That's... I... That means more than I can say. And this ring... It's lovely. Thank you, my dearest friend. I will happily accept it. I must admit, I feared my feelings would be unrequited. So long as I had you by my side, it never mattered how many enemies I amassed. You were all I needed.

Byleth's Crest and Edelgard's second Crest is the Crest of Flames, which is associated with The World arcana in Tarot. The World represents a successful conclusion after all aspects have been accounted for. Things have come full circle. A journey has been completed. Edelgard believed that the one leading the people of the world should be someone with humanity rather than an inhuman creature like Rhea. But there are two meanings for the word "humanity". One is "the human species" which is obviously what Edelgard meant. But the other meaning is "benevolence".

Byleth & Edelgard Byleth and Edelgard ended the tyranny of a godlike being. Byleth was wounded and lost the power of the progenitor god, but it mattered not, as he/she and Edelgard had each other. To ensure lasting peace, the two fought against those who slither in the dark, and to ensure a society where people can rise and fall by their own merits, they spent their lives reforming the antiquated class system. They achieved much in their time together, and it is said that they were sometimes spotted leaving the palace to privately enjoy the world they had created. How they spent those precious moments, none but the two of them will ever know.

Byleth cuts down Rhea with the sword made from the remains of her dead mother. Upon doing so, they lose the power of the progenitor god. The Crest Stone in their heart is destroyed. Their soul was once merged with the goddess Sothis, but symbolically Edelgard now fills that spot as their twin flame. Byleth's heartbeat returns, and their color goes back to normal.

But their hair color was actually the origin of the nickname "Ashen Demon". So, it leaves you to wonder: Did Byleth truly maintain their humanity until the end? I'm not so sure, but I still really enjoyed how the traditionally masculine aspects of Edelgard's conquest contrasted with the little glimpses of her feminine side that only Byleth could bring out. It is certainly unique romance among JRPGs and one that I won't ever forget.