#what was a child soldier trying to prove to the world that her people were decent supposed to do

[selene-moonie]

do yall remember when a titan destroyed a child's town and they turned into a war criminal as a result?

yeah, stop hating on Gabi you little shits.

oh you thought I was talking about Eren?

Funny you'd think that since Isayama literally put that girl child there to show how the cycle of abuse works. The abused becomes the abuser. Gabi is no different from Eren, except she can actually fight. So she's actually better than him.

[eluxcastar]

One of Repetition — Prologue

── ୨୧：arlecchino x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: your sudden dismissal from your position of harbinger, and the fatui as a whole, marks the end of the largest chapter in your life. you had never known a day without the tsaritsa's guidance, and you are set to never know another with it.

୨୧﹑genre :: angst

୨୧﹑content :: fem reader, reader is a harbinger, reader has a pyro vision, capitano is still not human and I haven't played fontaine or natlan ngl, possible ooc, not proofread but lightly edited

୨୧﹑words :: 6.5k

it only took me forever and a day. it's finally here being rewritten this is gonna take so long updates WILL be slow so you're gonna have to bear with me

CROSSPOSTED ON AO3

Her words left you exasperated, literally at a loss for words, and you struggled to comprehend the reason for it. There was nothing you could think of, no instance that struck you as prominent. Yet, somehow, as one of the Tsaritsa's children, you had become what any parent might refer to simply as a disappointment, their failure—the problem child who never quite ironed out their issues. You had always been faithful to her, hopelessly devoted to the archon and her will. News such as this came out of nowhere and struck you like a hammer to the chest.

Effective immediately, you are to be stripped of your title.

Two of her most mighty children were near and dear to her, and now the other had turned against you as he remains loyal to her. The Jester, who you once held in high regard, has turned against you. It is a bitter pill to swallow, for you must now sever ties with the one man you believed was truly deserving of serving the Tsaritsa. Your mother—your world—turns against you with him, before him, leading the way for him. 

In vain, you draw your bow to strike an arrow between his eyes. You have to prove your strength and power as above your position, above him, even with this weapon that disagrees with your armour, but it means nothing. Your strike is blocked, and the Tsarita's Damselette Columbina moves to detain you. You believe she would not be strong enough, but you don't itch to fight eight other Harbingers or their Director. You understand that even you have a limit, and fighting what are supposed to be the strongest people in the country is not a part of that.

Your honour is on the line, an honour which would tarnish not only Brighella's name but also have a ripple effect on your soldiers, men and women who fight for you and do not deserve the punishment that would result from their actions.

"Think carefully, Brighella." Columbina's warning is not lost on you. "You could remain as a hero or fight, and I will lure the creature you brought from the Abyss and gut him before your eyes."

You do not want that. That creature is not yet loyal to the Tsaritsa but to you, and she will convince him he can save you. He will fall into her trap and die because, for all that you have taught him, he is naïve.

You bite your lip, trying to think of a way to escape and capture him so that you can run off somewhere. He does not deserve to die, but you can't think of anything. Not when you know how thorough these people are. There is not a will, really; there is only a has. He has fallen into her trap and is at the mercy of the Damselette.

It suddenly makes an abundance of sense why your greatsword was missing this morning from where you discarded it on the floor of your chambers. Someone took it. They took it so you would appear before the Tsaritsa without your armour to carry your bow with you, taking advantage of your subordinate's absence to wander around so exposed.

You revealed your every weak point just as you were meant to because you are an arrogant creature of habit.

"What if I am to obey?" You finally ask the question you did not want to, surrendering in a way, though the bite has not left your words.

"I'll leave him be." Her answer is swift. She expected that you would eventually give in and only needed to wait for it to happen.

You shake your head, dissatisfied with only that as your compensation. "Not enough."

The smile on her face does not waver, thin and deceitful as ever, eyes hidden and closed, unseen behind the band of lace. "Mm. I can't bargain anything else." 

"Have him take my place." You lay your condition out firmly. There is only one to meet, and it is not a hard one at that. It would be easy to sway him into it, using whatever they plan to do to you as motivation. His loyalty and affection for you would make him accept it.

She ponders the situation and proposal momentarily, powerless to make the executive decision but undoubtedly keen on the thought of it all. "He believes that you are about to fall in battle to a foe and that he is going to save you."

You grit your teeth, knowing that this is her trap. Lure that creature to a place where he is vulnerable. It was not what you had expected, but it is no less the Damselette's style of acting. There is always a damsel, but perhaps she recognised that she would not suffice this time. She needed a better damsel for him to save; for that to work, it needed to be you. 

She needs your name, reputation, and your relationship with your subordinate. They meld with her lies to write a tale of tragedy, with him as the grief-stricken hero vowing to take his mentor's place.

The thought of him rushing to his death under the guise of saving you spikes your blood cold, chilling you. You're aware of her cruelty and always have been, but to experience it is different than hearing about it from her perspective. You are experiencing it from the perspective of the victim. 

His death was another factor to hold over your head—your penance—the anchor to force your compliance. Your blood boils with rage, but you cannot fight. Despite your anger and frustration, you know that lashing out will only cause further harm and pain.

There is only one thing you can do. You know you must. It's simply that you don't want to. 

But…you must. 

You must for him, that poor creature you tried to give a home to and who would never be in such a position if not for you and your ambition. 

"Then I will fall, and you will use the honour I built into him to persuade him." 

It was an honour meant to humanise him in a way, a being only able to imitate humanity. He had a mentor and something to fight for. Now you're imploring that it be used against him to burden him, but he will do well in your position.

Columbina smiles, that mocking smile like she knows the secrets of this world and more. "Would he really believe that?"

The helmet. You should use the helmet to your advantage. Your subordinate's first exposure to humanity being you, a woman in a metal helmet, seemed to last. He used to think that was what humans looked like, and he admitted as much to you as he had asked you to remove it once he could speak. Your impression left an indelible mark on him that he still treasures. Even if he were to see you in the aftermath, he would not uncover the lie.

"He has never seen my face. He would not recognise me."

Columbina accepts that readily, and her eyes open, pools of black and white visible through the cracks in the lace over her eyes. You've seen them before, inky black sclera and inhuman patterns decorating the borders of her irises, but you can't help the unsettled feeling that makes a home for itself in the pit of your stomach. 

-

By the evening, you are stripped of your honours, titles and coat and dumped to the curb like a bag of rubbish somebody left out. There is no more fight, no more bargaining, no more arguing. Everyone has the things they want, for the most part, so you are all satisfied enough to remain amicable with each other. Without a fight, you allow the Jester to remove the fur-lined overcoat despite the cold that rushes over you once it is gone and discarded in a heap of fur and fabric on the floor with none of its previous value. 

After that comes the slow, deliberate removal of every trinket that denoted you as you. From your delusion, several gifts to your very insignia, the only thing left of you is a lone pyro vision and the clothes on your back. You've never been more thankful to not wear a standard-issue uniform lest you be made to undress and hand that over, too.

That was it. Your everything.

With each piece of regalia taken, a part of yourself disappeared until you were left an empty husk of a person, your entire reason for being for hundreds of years snatched out from under you and spat on. Pierro allowed you the pity of dressing you in your weathered armour one last time to see you off, though he admits he cannot return the sword that goes with it.

The Harbingers were supposed to be the children of the Tsaritsa, and this was your grand disowning. A show of power and influence over her closest children and, by extension, the ability to bring pain to her lesser— to her followers. It was foolish of you to ever think you were special in her eyes for having been by her side since during the Archon War. 

What did it matter when she left you amongst the rest of them?

The years you spent since you had hobbled into her life so tiny and cute were now reduced to a few personal belongings and a set of words that shattered your world to sharp and dangerous pieces that would only hurt you in your haste to reassemble them and string your life back together.

Whatever should remain of yourself is torn away as if those things never belonged to you. Your memories are tossed down the drain by time, and the crown you thought sat firmly atop your head as Snezhnaya's spoiled princess is broken by the hurry to dismantle your power in its entirety.

When you were young, your cuteness may have been your best asset: a small body with endearing quirks and the inability to walk long distances without tumbling. You required your mother for everything because you would only find danger in the harsh Snezhnayan winters. To even acquire your own food was unthinkable, so you were sheltered and provided with ample treats that you could nibble from the palm of her hand if that were what you wished. Anything to keep you happy and content.

Like a little trinket, she cradled you for as many years as it took you to grow, and once you were at an age where you no longer needed to be cradled, she made you her loyal companion, or so you had believed. You thought her affection for you was unwavering. She was the only mother you had ever known; she is the only mother you will remember for all eternity.

Although it may have been an exaggeration, watching the sun's gradual descent below the horizon, you could almost believe eternity would quickly prove to be a very real concept. You watch the sky darken in silence for a time. You roam aimlessly around the city, your presence still striking unease in the people from the threatening demeanour you learned to conduct yourself with as a Harbinger, even without your official attire. The only remnant of your former self is a helmet you consistently wore during every public appearance strapped to your hip. 

You can't help your wandering mind. Did your imitation of the Tsaritsa's actions make you weak? Attempting to nurture someone in the same manner she nurtured you? You are not a god, only the former child of one. Maybe you cannot care for him and maintain your objectivity. He may have become your Achilles' heel, as you were forewarned when the Tsaritsa less than subtly suggested you eliminate him.

You cannot live like this.

No matter how many suns you watch set, you will never come to terms with living like this. The world you once knew, which revolved around a singular governing entity and individual, has disappeared without a trace. Without a central axis to anchor it in place, your world spirals chaotically out of control, with each passing second feeling more frenzied than the last.

This purposeless existence where you have no one to create meaning for you feels just as endless as your high on the rush of power once did.

Your head is too muddled, your brain too overwhelmed by your emotions to think objectively of the faults in your time as a Harbinger. Years of your life have been spent that way, burying your thoughts beneath a heavy weight of despair. Your life is over. Even as the woodlands are forced to welcome you, they mark the end of everything, embracing you in what could be your death, as you imagine it is meant to.

The conclusion of those years greets you with nothing but a cold, detached farewell you never expected. The years you spent dutifully carrying out your mother's will should've been concluded by a grand celebration or momentous occasion to mark the end. This is not how these things are supposed to go, but you can't say it's never happened before. Usually, you'd just kill Harbingers your mother no longer approved of. You might have the better side of things, even if your career is at the worst possible end.

You almost want to call those years wasted, but that would be wrong. Without the Tsaritsa, you might've— no, would've died during the Archon War. Perhaps another god would take you in, but it is unlikely that they would have exhibited the same level of compassion and generosity as the Tsaritsa. They would not have coddled you into comfort the way she did. Then again, what if that had been your downfall? Did she ever genuinely want you to stay? Based on this…perhaps you took her kindness for granted and overstayed your welcome.

You had no right to make demands of her in your final moments as her child, acting like a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum. But can you be justified? Can the threat to your subordinate's life negate that? Surely a bit, but not entirely, not if her actions were in response to yours. 

Oh, even if you begged on your knees, she would not take you back now.

Why had you not done that before?

She must be disappointed that your attitude was born from her compassion, the epitome of her failures. You do not deserve to call her your mother. You took her generosity as a guarantee, thought yourself above her other children solely because you were her first, and believed you were her favourite for no reason besides arrogance.

You have failed the only being in Teyvat willing to show pity toward you.

-

The deepest heart of Snezhnayan forest welcomes you readily with open arms and the gnashing jaws of monsters starving for food. The forest seems to come alive with a vicious hunger for flesh. You have only your vision and bow left to aid your defence as you shrug off part of your armour to delegate it to the ties on your hip that secure your helmet.

Your delusion is gone, and your subordinates are nowhere to be found to assist you. The danger is to be braved alone for the first time in what must be forever. Despite this, marking your way with a trail of bodies is easy. It is just an inconvenience to always be on guard, but you are strangely used to it. Your life has been spent that way. Being on guard is what keeps you alive on long expeditions, at night when your lessers slept under your watch, in the depths of the Abyss where it is the only thing stopping the resilient from dropping like flies.

The cold is numbing as the air hits your face, your fingers almost wholly without a sensation of touch and even a tingle in your toes. Your vision emits warmth like a stone of fire seeping into your bones to chase the chill away. It nearly suffocates your fingers each time you press your hand to it, hoping to glean some heat from it.

You spent many missions that way, tensed and expecting violence at any moment, hardly allowing yourself to sleep, let alone relax. Despite so many things changing, you are just as high-strung as you used to be. It feels like nothing has changed in that respect, but you know everything has. You cannot hear the large crackling bonfire or the pattering of footsteps in the snow as your subordinates come to join you, their laughter and chatter and their whispers to each other.

While everything falls apart around you, you freeze as if that is the only thing keeping you together, even knowing that nothing will remain once you finally let go. Breathing is difficult, and so is thinking, but you'd rather not think at all. You want to pretend you'll look across the clearing you wander through and see that creature eagerly waiting, so safe and out of every hand that might harm him.

There is a fragile little balance of land around you that slowly crumbles away piece by piece as it encroaches upon the section that keeps you afloat without regard for where you're supposed to stand when the last of it falls from under your feet. Eventually, you'll have nothing left beneath you.

If there is a time when the only part of what was is yourself, you must protect that no matter what it does to you. You have to maintain the same rigid ways you've always stuck to. Those are the last parts of you made by your mother; those are the last parts of yourself you can trust for as long as you can't trust yourself.

The stark silence is deafening to your ears.

-

On the seventh night, you pass through a village on the outskirts of Snezhnaya, where you first catch wind of the news you had agreed on.

The locals informed you that they had recently halted their work for half a day in honour of your passing, believing that you had been slain in battle, though they are just as unaware as everyone else you've passed that they're talking to the person they believe to be dead. Hearing the story that the Jester spoon-fed the public to explain your disappearance makes it feel a touch more real, the consequences of your obedience stinging in a way you didn't expect. You cannot claim it to be a sick joke when it has had time to reach the smaller villages.

Even when that information would naturally spread like wildfire, the thought that it has come to be known by the nation solidifies the death of Brighella.

In a way, she really is dead.

You're the only one still standing here.

You find what can only be a wayward adventurer not far from the town, engaging a wild boar in combat, brandishing a blade at the beast as it snarls back at him and prepares to rush toward him. He faces it with the heavy hand of experience steadying his grip, ending the boar in a swift movement of his blade that matches the work of his feet to jostle him out of its path.

"Good morning," you greet him after a moment, arms folding over your chest as you watch him poke at the boar with the tip of his sword. "Strike it through the back of its neck. It'll die quickly."

"And painfully," he scoffs back, yet his foot steadies the boar nonetheless, and it is out of its misery by the final stab.

You break away from the spot that had glued you to the ground, approaching the man and his kill to assess the job as if on instinct. "Good work," you tell him without really thinking.

"You think so?" he questions. His eyes focus on you instantly, watching you inspect the boar with a curious gleam. You offer a curt nod. He stares as if waiting to be appraised in precisely the same manner you do a dead animal, weary enough not to sheath his blade. "You really think it's smart to walk around like that?" he asks after a few seconds.

"Why?" you ask, absently poking at the boar. You half expect it will spring back to life and knock the both of you flat on your asses, yet it never does.

He hesitates for the first time since you first saw him, opening his mouth to speak before reconsidering and pressing his lips into a thin line. He catches his breath. "The armour," he begins. "It..."

"It...?" You don't recall ever meeting him before, though it is not uncommon that adventurers know what you look like. You travel so much that it's hardly unusual that people catch glimpses of you, and never forget the Harbinger dressed in the old armour of the guards of Zapolyarny.

It is not unthinkable for a man used to being at odds with Fatui soldiers would recall what might be the most royal pain in his ass.

"A Harbinger was slain," he continues, gaze wandering away. "A Harbinger dressed in armour. I mean, people wear armour all the time, but that set..."

You quirk an eyebrow at such an awkward explanation. It's an accusation he doesn't dare make for its boldness, but he cannot deny it when he considers it for himself. "You recognise it?" you question.

"Something similar. From when Brighella was in Sumeru," he confirms. "I may have been a child, but I recognise it anywhere. Most people have armour custom made to fit them, but yours..."

"Someone else's," you finish for him.

That is technically true regardless. Even as Brighella, the armour was stolen. You vaguely recall the story, but you took it from the stores, assuming it belonged to a guard who no longer had use for it. It should've been the property of a grown man, but you have always accounted for the pinching and awkward proportions. You had to grow into it and didn't grow quite enough.

"You're asking if I killed her," you conclude, though that is an equally bold assumption.

He pauses, weariness in his eyes at the thought, but shakes his head. "That would be a bit presumptuous," he responds. "I just wondered if you really thought it was smart to wander around in armour that looks so much like hers."

"Perhaps not," you admit, swallow your pride to allow that much. "It might be smarter to get some clothes from a market."

"New armour wouldn't hurt," he adds. "You're travelling to...?" he trails off, briefly glancing up as if to seek your appearance for the answer. "Not the heart of Snezhnaya, I hope."

"Fontaine," you answer. "It's the first trail south."

"I'm sure you'll find both of those things there," he says. He offers a slight smile despite the circumstances, an unspoken reliving of the tension you realise lingered on past the point you expected it to.

A part of you knows that he makes that presumptuous assumption. He suspects that you have killed the reigning tyrant but says nothing, perhaps out of relief at the possibility you did. Snezhnaya finds liberation in your slaying. A weight has lifted in your absence that they are not yet allowing themselves to get used to out of fear that you might return. It's as if everyone holds their breath for the news that you resurfaced from the Abyss and were merely lost to a chasm in the world.

You know that news will never come.

Now, the armour that once protected you as a Harbinger will stand as a triumphant emblem of your hard-won victory over Brighella and the end of the Harbinger's tyrannical hold over the land. Even knowing that he is right and it is unwise to wander clad in your old armour, you can't let it go. You are glad it is still yours. Pierro granted it to you, and you didn't care to ask why when it felt as though you were watching your comrades through the eyes of your younger self five hundred years ago. Through danger, you will keep it close, treasuring it always as a tangible reminder of the sacrifices you made to reach this pivotal moment. 

You slayed Brighella. You ended the Harbinger's tyranny.

Brighella is dead.

Though there is no truth to it, you take responsibility for the Harbinger's slaying at the first gasp of a wayward adventurer recognising it. You grasp it as your singular piece of this life—your trophy. It is the first fragment of your new self.

If you didn't know better, you would think you were getting a little too far into it and starting to believe it yourself.

-

By the eleventh night, you find yourself situated in an inn, and the nights only carry on from there all the way up to the twenty-second night since your abrupt dismissal and, to the rest of the world, your supposed demise. The sigh of relief finally sounds, if a tad reserved. Snezhnaya collectively agrees that Brighella is dead enough to think they might have escaped her thumb, even if they aren't wholly convinced that she could really be dead.

The whispers that once revolved around Brighella's defeat now shifted to speculations regarding her successor. The question was not necessarily who, but who could possibly? Her brutal reign as a Harbinger had instilled fear in the hearts of all who crossed her path; in the minds of the people, no one else could measure up to her sheer terror-inducing presence.

Nobody knows what happened once they dared to fight Brighella until now. She was the first of the Tsaritsa's children, and she was the most combat-heavy. No one wished to cross her except for the rumoured contender for her throne, who was spoken of in hushed tones, as nobody was eager to have their reverence for whoever was bold enough to reach the wrong ears.

Your achievements find their place amongst the rumours as people say that Brighella's killer stole her armour and wears it as her trophy.

Despite the slew of gossip that its patrons indulge in, you enjoy the quaintness of this bar made and run by travellers who use it like a pitstop to rest and recuperate. It is a home to them, along with adventurers and merchants who benefit from the atmosphere. The people are strangers, often reserved and eager to keep to themselves, but have an immeasurable wealth of information that spills with a few drinks and a group of acquaintances who are, for only one night of pleasure and indulgence, their lifelong friends.

Among those friends buried in your own tankard of cheap ale, you laugh along with their jokes and entertain their questions like a test of your ability to lie and improvise in this tale you're making for yourself. If they have names, you don't know them. Brighella's death was a glorious battle but isolated to the hills where you were alone.

"Brighella was alone, and they were weakened by prior injury. I don't know what caused it." You mix a dash of the speculations in, downplaying your strength as you're unwilling to expose too much of it. "I'm not one to miss an opportunity. When would it arise again?"

One of your new acquaintances scoffs, amused but no less aware of the dangers of doing such a thing. "And make an enemy of the Fatui?" He is a new graduate of the Sumeru Akademiya who's come to make his way through Snezhnaya for a job offer. Reminds you of someone else, minus the graduating.

"They will not miss her." You are quick to answer—too quick, arguably—as it draws a sliver of attention before dipping back under the radar as a product of your confidence. "Her 'head' makes too cute a decoration on my side to pass up stealing it."

"I wouldn't dare say such a thing. Fatuus comes here sometimes." They are the words of a Snezhnayan native raised to worship the Fatui, though he is somewhat disillusioned by their crimes and cruelty, as you've learned many are.

"Let them hear it!" Your laughter is boisterous and unabashed. "They'll see the armour anyway. They probably despise her like everyone else."

Another one of your new friends, a travelling merchant from Fontaine, interjects your ravings to add only a passing comment. It was as she had done all evening, her secrets locked up tight. "She did not make herself likeable."

"She was not meant to be likeable but a fearsome warrior." Again, the Snezhnayan man rebuts the criticism against her as he had been doing all evening.

"You don't have to get so far up her ass, Brighella's not gonna crawl out of her grave and thank you for it."

"You're so vulgar."

You plant your tankard firmly on the table between the four of you, leaning over it to close the distance between you and the man. "I'm not meant to be likeable either."

Forget being only a little too into the role. You're revelling in the freedom of this new identity of yours.

Quick to disperse the tension, your graduate friend changes the topic without a hint of hesitance in his voice. "They left an underling people believe will take their place. It's a surprise to think Brighella had someone who followed them with such…devotion."

It seems they finally figured out who might take Brighella's place in the grand scheme of things, and the rumours say there is only one candidate.

The creature wearing the face of a man she brought home from the Abyss.

"It's strange but not impossible." The merchant from Fontaine again, contributing nothing you weren't all already thinking.

"Could she have had a sentimental side?"

"Who cares if she had a sentimental side?"

"Upset the attention isn't on you anymore?"

Anger crosses your face, but you stifle it as quickly as it appears. You wish their attention was off of you, really. The former you, maybe, but you nonetheless. You want to know about your subordinate. What happened to your second in command? You don't care to hear their speculation as to whether you were or were not particularly emotional with your underlings. You know the answers to all of those questions and more without their guessing games.

"Regardless of the reason, they say the underlying is much easier to swallow than she is, so maybe the position of First Harbinger will change drastically if he takes it." 

"Would he really change its purpose if he was so loyal?"

"Unintentionally, perhaps."

Gods, these people are so dull. Just by listening to them, you can tell they know nothing about the ways of the Fatui. Harbingers are not individual job positions with specific parameters. Each role is its own, and they are moulded by the person who assumes them like a character in a play, enchanting and unsettling in a horrific mix of theatrics and violence. It is what they stand for. One does not assume the role and become an actor with a script. They must improvise and act on a whim to the beat of the Tsaritsaʼs drum, their life no longer their own.

They are not whatever these ramblings and poor excuses for speculations make them out to be.

"Terribly misinformed, aren't they?" In your ear is the low voice of the Snezhnayan man holding in his laughter at the two as the scholar and the merchant go back and forth. You watch them with a sharp gaze that almost borders a glare, bored of their squabbles and misconceptions.

You glance to your left, where he has leaned closer to you. You eye the way he tilts in his seat, his hand resting on the table. "Repulsively," you respond curtly.

He has a faint glint of satisfaction in his eye as you seem to have confirmed something. "I thought you might've been from Snezhnaya." 

Your eyes narrow at his conclusion, though it is the truth. You don't trust the gleam in his eyes or the way his gaze fixes between you and the helmet secured to your hip. "So what if I am?" you question lowly.

"It was only an observation."

In the background, the main conversation continues, just as clumsy as before you had tuned it out in favour of drinking some more. "Does this mean he will also be named Brighella?"

Straightening back in his seat, the man swiftly interjected their back-and-forth responses to explain to them. "They receive a unique title upon their promotion, and nobody knows what it is until then." A simple enough concept to understand.

"In other words, anything but Brighella."

"It hasn't been long enough to know yet."

"It's strange. Nobody knows his name even now."

That would probably be because you never gave him one.

You considered it in the years you spent with him but couldn't find one you liked. His name was inhuman, not for your ears and not for your tongue, rendering it useless to you and everyone else who would hear it. The night you found him was spent crowded around a bonfire listing off every suggestion you and your subordinates could think of to no avail, as he only sat quietly by your side and said little about any of these choices, finding no familiarity in any of them. That's only natural, you suppose. 

You still haven't chosen a name for yourself that isn't Brighella, either. Your old one is well and truly forgotten, with the years eroding your memories. It had been centuries since you had been called anything else. Evidently, picking names is not your forte. 

"As far as I've heard, nobody knows what it is."

You find the mention of your subordinate has completely ruined your mood. You are grateful the creature is alive but worried the knowledge you're snooping around to find out when he will be promoted could land you in trouble. It's troubling enough to wonder if he has heard your tales through the grapevine about how you had supposedly 'killed' Brighella—his mistress and mentor—which he would not be happy about.

Though you did not fear the creature before, now that you've personally trained him to understand human combat, you're not so sure you'd want to fight him. It would be a hassle. Unlike many, you do not fear the inhumanity of the Doctor or the stone wall called the Jester. Even the cunning Damselette struggles to do more than unsettle you, but you respect that creature's raw strength and understand that no matter what you do, it doesn't matter. You are confined to a human form, and he is not.

You lied when he said he wouldn't recognise you, however. You don't actually know if he would.

You don't know the extent to which his eyes can pick out the details in your appearance that aren't physical. Had he memorised your relative build? Your height? The way you carry yourself and your mannerisms? The thought unnerves you, but so does everything else about him.

"I'm turning in for the night," you declare to the table with a knock of your cup as you slam it down.

Without regard for the ongoing conversation, you announce your intentions and abruptly shut down whatever is being said at the time without much care for it. Whatever it is, it isn't important. Your unfinished drink is left behind as you make your way to your quarters.

In retrospect, you understand their eagerness to merely cover up the circumstances of your dismissal. For a Harbinger as feared as Brighella, it is easier to halt work for a mere half-day rather than attempt to contain the resulting fallout of admitting one of their own was inadequate while simultaneously preserving their tenuous hold on power.

You drop to your bed with far too much faith in it and already regret the potent scent of alcohol on your breath that addles your mind and forces you to wander back to your betrayal. There's not much else you can call it.

Even as you try to squeeze your eyes shut and vanish the image from your tired mind, the confusion lingers against your will. You thought you were your mother's lucky charm. You had been so since the Archon War, to your knowledge, but you lost many of your fragile memories to the sands of time. Something changed while you weren't looking, and her gaze shifted from you to her goals.

Nobody won.

Nobody won...

You have always wondered what she met. You thought it was because the people were at a point of unrest you feared they wouldn't return from, but no one is left to remember the old gods now. You are instead struck by the ghost of your own blindness. You had ventured to the Abyss so many times and lived for so many years that you fell out of touch with her in a way. Even as you did everything to preserve her love for you, it disappeared.

It couldn't have happened in an instant.

You just don't know when it started or at what point it ended, both of which gnaw at your mind incessantly like a parasite that threatens to consume you whole. You dwell on what may never be answered in an attempt to understand something that cannot be understood. You have never been good at avoiding the bad habits of chasing ghosts, even if you fooled yourself into believing otherwise.

Each passing day forces you to wonder if it has anything to do with the many people who died under your command or were distorted by the Abyss during your expeditions. You struggle to imagine it has anything to do with anyone but yourself. You thought you were exactly who she wanted you to be, but perhaps you weren't. Whatever the reason, it escapes you.

You pile your armour off and leave it beside the bed with a touch more respect than you've ever had for it; your helmet carefully stands on the nightstand where you hope it does not fall and collapse back into the bed, eager to escape such vision of before.

You have no desire to remember the days when your hands were smaller, and you could barely reach the handles on the palace doors or fit your suit of armour. Those were the days you never once doubted her affection, though you feared she was pulling away. You looked into the eyes of a weathered old man and saw competition where he mourned his fallen nation as he was forced to linger in a world ruled by the very gods that had caused it to crumble.

You never understood his weakness. By then, though small, you had forgotten what it felt like to be an ant on the mountain where gods battled.

[ghostwritesthings]

Summary: 21 years after the day you barely remember, two people enter the place you call home. Those two people may just be more than strangers…

TW// gun violence, cannon events, past trauma, memory loss, knife violence, small mention of blood, PTSD??, flashback, language, reader is 26 , POV switches between reader and Joel, loss of a parent for reader.Somewhat of a third person kinda thing?? I believe that’s it but let me know if I missed anything❤️

Word count// 3,775

“We are gonna be ok”

“I’ll get us out of here I promise”

Gunshots, screaming, faint singing…

“Please don’t forget me”

3RD PERSON POV

Startling awake, gasping for air released from another nightmare, one you can always hardly remember. You sit up drenched in a cold sweat, but you will never get back to sleep so you get up. “Well at least it’s light out.” Said to no one but yourself. It’s always the same, toss turn till you fall asleep, have a nightmare, startle awake then get ready for the day. Checking the perimeter of the house is always first, making sure you’ve kept your home hidden from the outside world. Somehow you’ve kept this little cabin hidden, undiscovered for almost a year…key word almost.

You hear them before you see them, quickly ducking behind a large rock to try to find exactly where they are coming from and how many. Two make voices still a decent distance away from you but too close for comfort, you need to get home. Protect what’s yours, it’s all you have left. Rushing home and into the house you prepare yourself, knife, gun just incase, zip ties.

Using the gloomy weather and the shadows of the house to your advantage, you duck behind the corner of the wall separating living room from the hall. They are close enough you can hear their voices

“You check inside I’m gonna check around the back see if anything’s out here.”

Finally the door opens…

“You check inside, I’m gonna check around the back see if anything’s out here”

Tommy nods before turning to walk the steps into the house.

Walking around the side, there’s not much but getting to the back there’s way more, a garden still holding fresh produce… someone lives here.

He went in alone. “Tommy!” “Tommy there’s-“

Upon entering he freezes at the sight in front of him, his little brother slumped in a chair, unconscious with the silhouette of a smaller person behind him, knife to his throat.

JOEL’S POV

“Don’t come any closer. You reach for anything he’s dead and so are you.” A woman’s voice growls.

“Don’t hurt him, we ain’t a threat. Didn’t realize anyone lived here.” Raising my hands as that feeling starts in my chest. I don’t know how I sound calm but I need to figure a way out, keep Tommy safe.

“Fuck you! I know men like you, you come in, kill, take what you want and leave. You are all the fucking same.” She’s young, mid 20’s maybe but something feels familiar about her, the voice, her hair and the eyes.

“Let’s talk about this ok, I swear we ain’t like that, we are good people I can prove that to you just put the knife down let’s just ta-“

“There is no such thing as a good person anymore, I don’t know what fantasy world You live in but that ended the day cordyceps took over.” As she gets irritated she steps more out of the shadows showing her face and then I realize why she’s familiar.

“I remember you… We remember you. You probably don’t remember us it was a long time ago.” She’s alive, she’s fucking alive.

“What kind of mind games are you trying to play here? Did you forget I’ve got a knife to your buddy’s throat. I suggest you cut your shit and te-“

I cut her off, if I can get her to remember I could save us, save her.

“September 26th 2003. Outbreak day, I was with my brother we were trying to get somewhere safe. We heard a child crying, a woman begging someone not to kill y’all… that’s when we saw it, a soldier was holding y’all at gunpoint. My brother tried to get to y’all before it was too late but gunshots went off, you screamed as your mom fell dropping you. Before the man could shoot you my brother killed him, but your mom was hurt. You crawled to her begging her to get up, you asked to go home but we knew she wasn’t gonna take you home… she wasn’t leaving that field. Your mom held your cheeks as she told you that you were gonna be ok, she had to go but she would always be with you, that she loved you to the moon and the stars. Your cries were all that could be heard besides your mom. She looked at us as she asked me and my brother to take care of you, find someone to raise you and get you somewhere safe. My brother promised her you would be safe he’d protect you until he found somewhere safe for you to go. You screamed for your mom as she used her last breath to tell you once more that she loved you. My brother handed the gun to me and picked you up as you cried for her, carried you with us as we found a place to hide from the chaos as it unfolded. He held you while you cried, made sure you had eaten even if he didn’t, told you it was ok when you woke up screaming from the horrors you saw at an age you never should have. We took you a week later to a quarantine zone once we found out there was one. After we arrived my brother took you over to the FEDRA woman, explained that your family was dead and that we found you. Before the woman took you to be with the other children who were alone you turned back to him, you hugged him as you whispered to him, told him you were going to miss him, to please not forget you. He never forgot you, I never forgot about you either. The man’s neck you are holding the knife to is that same man.” I calmly retold the past, she’s got tears in her eyes but she’s not here she’s somewhere else before she looks back down at him as I hold my breath, unable to read the look in her eyes.

“Tommy…” she says so quietly and tearfully I almost didn’t hear her.

READER’S POV

As he talks it all comes rushing to the surface…

//Flashback//

“Bug you gotta get up cmon baby.” She’s trying not to show her panic.

“Mama?” I whisper in the dark.

“It’s me, we gotta go ok? I’ve got your shoes already”

I sit up still drowsy, it’s dark besides my nightlight that always stays on. I look at her as she picks me up and heads to the front door “Mama where are we going? What’s wrong?” I ask beginning to get scared as I noticed the tears in her eyes. “We are gonna take a little trip ok? Everyth-“ As she goes to open the car door the next door neighbors door bursts open a lady running out but she doesn’t look normal… she looks like a monster. “MAMA!!” I scream as the woman knocks into us clawing at her trying to hurt her. Mama shoots her in the head as I sit there watching, “Mama… you killed her…” I don’t know what’s happening, why did she try to hurt mommy, why did mommy kill her. “Bug… I’m so sorry baby but you gotta listen to me ok?” She hugs me close as she put me in the car. “The people aren’t people anymore, I don’t know what’s going on but I promise you we are going to be ok.”

We drove like I was going to school, but when we got to the big road it’s blocked, a lot of cars honking.

“Shit!”

“Mama! That’s a bad word!”

She huffs a laugh as she smiles at me,”I’m sorry bug I didn’t mean to.”

I watch as she looks serious again before turning off the big road and onto a smaller one, the one we take to go to the stores. A few minutes later we see it as we turn onto the street, there’s fire and people running everywhere. There’s more monster people… they are attacking the normal people and hurting them.

“Mama I’m scared… why are they all fighting?” I shakily ask unable to look away from the window. “I don’t know bug but we have to be strong ok? Look at mama.” I turn to look at her as I cry quietly “I will protect you. I won’t let anything happen to us ok?” She looks at me and I know it’s going to be ok. “Ok mama.”

Then the car makes a loud noise, mama looks panicked and starts frustratedly whispering, “No no no no… don’t do this now.”

The car stops, in the middle of everything. “Ok bug we gotta get out-“ “NO no mama I don’t wanna it’s scary we will get hurt.” I panic even tho I know she will keep me safe. “We have to baby it’ll be ok. Climb up here into my lap.” She’s frantically looking around as I unbuckle myself and climb into her lap. She brushes my hair from my eyes then holds both my cheeks in her hands forehead to mine just like before bedtime. “Ok this is what we are gonna do, on three I’m gonna open the door and I’m gonna carry you as we run. Don’t look at anything, keep your eyes on me the whole time ok? Just look at me and everything will be ok.” “Ok…” “One…two…three!” I hide my face in her neck as the door opens and we run. I can hear everything, the growls, crashes, banging, screaming. It’s so much, so scary but I look at mama and she looks at me for just a second and smiles, calming me down a little bit but not much.

Maybe it’s a dream, maybe I’m gonna wake up and climb into bed with her and she will hold me and tell me it’s ok.

Mama pauses, I look up and see her looking at something, she looks scared. I look where she’s looking and there’s a monster, he’s leaning over someone else eating them. He twitches before turning to look at us, mama runs with me as I scream, there’s a field right there and that’s where we go. As we hit the field there’s a loud bang, and the growls stop, we turn to look and the monster is dead so we are just about to go again when suddenly we hear a voice at the same time a very bright light shines on us. Maybe this person will help us.

“Stop right there!” A man yells, he’s pointing a big gun at us and is dressed like the cops in the movies. “We aren’t sick I’m trying to get my baby somewhere safe.” I look at mama squinting because of the bright light. “Don’t move” he then talks to his shoulder there’s someone who talks back. I look at mama and whimper, she whispers to me “I’ll get us out of here I promise.”

Suddenly he points the gun at us again, mama starts begging. “Please! We aren’t sick, don’t hurt us she’s only 5 years old she’s a kid a-“

Two gunshots, mama yells as I scream falling from her arms. The bad guy is now in front of me , “please don’t hurt me…” I cry to him. Then another gunshot as I scream again and flinch, but nothing hurts me… I look up and there bad man is on the floor. Instead there’s a different man, two men and they both look sad. I turn around as the one with longer hair whispers something I don’t hear. Mamas on the ground, she’s bleeding a lot…too much. I run to her and I try to fix her, maybe I can fix her.

“No mama! Mama! I wanna go home let’s go home I’ll fix you.” I scream to her trying to put her blood back. “Bug,” she grabbed my cheeks to make me look at her, “you will be ok, I have to go now but I will always be with you right here.” She takes one hand from my face and puts it on my heart. I’m crying she can’t leave, she’s my mama nothings gonna happen to us, we are going to be ok she promised.

“I love you bug to the moon and the stars, I’ll be in the stars at night, I’ll keep you safe from up there.” She’s crying now too still holding me and crying with me. I just keep screaming. She then turns and looks at the two sad men who saved me.

“Please…take her…keep her safe please,….find someone to raise her…. somewhere safe.” She’s breathing funny now not like she’s supposed to.

The sad man with black hair answers her,” I promise, I’ll keep her safe,I’ll protect her till I find somewhere safe to take her. Find someone to raise her.” Mama gave a weak smile to him before she looked at me, she gasped funny,” I love you bug…” then she stopped breathing and her eyes closed.

“Mama! Mama wake up please! I wanna go home” I cried, shaking her shoulders because she’s just sleeping, she will get up and we will go home an-

I feel hands grab under my arms trying to picking me up so I grab onto mommy tight,”NO LET ME GO!” I look at the sad man who let go just for a second to kneel down with me, I’m begging him to let me stay with mommy. “I’m sorry sweetheart but we have to go. Your mommy will be ok.” Then another voice spoke,”Tommy we need to get out of here now.” “My name is Tommy this is my big brother Joel we have to go now ok?” Then I quickly grab mommy’s necklace as he picks me up, it comes off her neck and I hold onto it as we leave.

•1 week later•

We walk up to a camp looking place, there’s people everywhere while Tommy carries me. I like Tommy, he’s nice. Joel is quiet, argues with Tommy and acts like I don’t exist. We go to a table as Tommy talks to the lady there her jacket has letters on it, F…E…D…R…A,”Hello I have this little girl here, we found her on…” I stopped listening as I looked around at everything, people were crying, some looked really sleepy and they are dirty just like us.

“Sweetheart” Tommy looks at me getting my attention again. “ I’m gonna leave you with this nice lady, her name is Edith and she’s gonna take you to go get some food and get all cleaned up ok? She’ll take care of you.” I look at the lady who looks tired but she gives me a big smile, it calms me down, she looks nice. I say ok and Tommy sets me down as Edith steps to me holding her hand out.” Hi kiddo, are you hungry? How about we get you clean then some food in your belly? Sound good?” Still nervous I nod my head and take her hand. We turn to leave before I stop, she looks confused as I turn to run letting go of her hand.

“TOMMY! TOMMY!” I yelled. Tommy turned back around to look at me and squatted down as I ran into his arms hugging him.

“What’s wrong sweetie? I know it’s scary but you have to go.” Tommy responds heart breaking at the little one he begged Joel to let stay even though he knew he couldn’t.

“I don’t wanna say goodbye. I won’t see you again.”

“I know sweetheart I’m sorry that I have to go but you will be ok.” Tommy responds looking at me with sad eyes but still smiling. “I’m gonna miss you sweetheart.” “I’m gonna miss you too Tommy. And Joel.” I tell him while sniffling, Edith patiently waiting for me to come back.

“Please don’t forget me.”

“I won’t baby, I’ll never forget you.”

//End of flashback// Readers POV

“Tommy…” It’s him, that means that..

I look up at the man across from me, his hands still in the air looking like he’s holding his breath. I study his face for a second, the brown eyes , the grey brown hair and the beard…

“J-Joel?” I state shakily, coming out more like a question than I meant. He looks a bit relieved. “Yeah.. it’s Joel and Tommy, you remember now?” He says even though I’m pretty sure he already knows that answer.

“I’m sorry I’m so sorry… I didn’t realize that it was… he isn’t hurt bad I promise I hit him in the head to ge-“ he cuts off my panicked ramble

“It’s ok, I know you didn’t mean to hurt him ok? You were scared and protecting this place, your safe place. Hand me the knife ok? It’s alright I ain’t upset. Just hand me the knife and we can go from there ok?” He says calmly, completely honest while slowly reaching one hand out, palm up to signal that he wants the knife but not pushing it. I step closer and hand him the knife just as Tommy lets out a groan.

JOEL’S POV

She steps forward to hand me the knife and I get a good look at her, she looks older but I can still see that same scared little girl in her eyes from that night 21 years ago. She’s got a scar on her right side of her face, runs from underneath her eye all the way down to just underneath her chin, it’s jagged and passes through her lips. It’s clear evidence that someone did it, not a something. She’s been through hell, but who hasn’t. She’s still so fucking young. Too fucking young for whoever did that to her. I take the knife and Tommy begins waking up, he’s got blood running down from his hairline but otherwise seems ok. She backs into the wall as he groans. Then she takes off to another room.

READER POV

I run to the kitchen, I need to find something to help patch up Tommy. I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to do it, how did I forget him when I begged him not to forget me? He’s gonna be upset, what if he decides he does want to hurt me, I won’t be able to-, I cut my own thoughts off, grabbing the first aid kit and two bottles of water when I hear them talking.

“Tommy.. it’s her, it’s bug. The little girl from outbreak.”

“Joel don’t fuck with me, I swear-“

“Tommy I ain’t fucking with you.”

I come back down the hall and back into their line of sight and they look over, Tommy looks like he’s seen a ghost.

I kneel down next to them, setting the first aid kit down to open it. “I’m so sorry Tommy… I’ve got some first aid stuff here it’s not much but it can help.” He smiles at me softly,” it’s alright bug I’m not upset with you I understand. We caught you off guard.” He’s calm, I look into his eyes and all I find is honesty.

I look away and start digging through my supplies, handing a water to both of them which they quietly thank me for and pull out the stuff I need. Painkillers, stitching kit just incase, a bandage along with those butterfly stitches. I look back at Tommy and stand setting the items on the side table I pull closer to work on Tommy.

“Can I look at your head… I hit it pretty hard you are bleeding a little…” I ask, nerves still running high. “Sure, you don’t have to clean me up if you don’t want to I could do it myself.” He says softly, he can sense I’m still anxious. I shake my head, “No I don’t mind.”

“Where did you guys come from?” I decide to try to start asking trying to find out what I can. “We are part of a commune, we were patrolling the area and saw the cabin decided to take a look.” Tommy explains. A commune? Patrolling the area? “What do you mean a commune?” I’m so fucking lost, this can’t be what it seems. “ kinda like a small town, we have families there. We all contribute to the town to keep it all going but it’s got electricity, running water, plenty of food. It’s a good place, let us take you with us. You will be safe there, you can have your own house there and get yourself a job once you are settled.” Joel states, looking at me in a hopeful way. I look to Tommy and he has the same look in his eyes, so I take a minute to process, sitting down on the small couch in the room.

“I don’t know if they will want me there, I haven’t been around people in a long time, I don’t know how this would work for me. If it’s truly safe, how do you know nothing will ever happen to this place you are talking about. Nothing in this world lasts forever anymore.” Trying to reason with not only myself but Joel and Tommy, how can a place like that exist? Tommy reaches over to grab my hand cautiously, like I’m a scared animal looking to flee. “Bug, I know this is a lot all at once and it’s hard to believe it off just talk. But I can promise you it’s safe, I’ve got a kid of my own now, she lives there. Joel does too we can show you, prove it to you if you come with us.” Joel speaks up now, turning my attention to him, “come with us, check it out and if you don’t wanna stay then we will pack you up on all supplies you need and will let you go. Just come at least take a look, you are free to walk away from it if that’s what you choose to do.”

Looking at the two men who I never thought I’d ever see again, to the point my mind blocked them out, I thought it through. Maybe I can give it a chance, they aren’t trying to trap me , they want me safe and they are allowing me to leave at any point. I mull it over for just a little longer before I look back up, “You promise I can leave if I don’t want to stay…” I question, looking between the two brothers. “I promise, if you decide you wanna go and that it’s not for you then you can go no one will stop you.” Joel replies, Tommy nodding along his agreement.

“Ok, I’ll follow.”

// there we go I feel like this was a pretty shitty ending but idk how or if I’m ready to end it?? If anyone wants to read a second part just let me know but yeah sorry that it’s so long the idea has been in my brain for quite some time now so it just started flowing once I let it out. Thank you if you read this far I’m still just starting to write so let me know NICELY how I could maybe do better? Thank you:)

[thegayhimbo]

Say "I know nothing about the history of Russia's treatment of Ukraine (the Holodomor being one such example) or what's currently going on between Russia and Ukraine" without saying it. 🙄😒

For those who can't access the video due to the "age restriction," here is a transcript of the 60 Minutes interview with Scott Pelley interviewing Freed Ukrainian Prisoners of War:

SPOILER ALERT: The following video/transcript contains descriptions of beatings, torture, rape, starvation, child deaths, and human rights violations.

As for "Russia is not continuously bombing all civilian infrastructure and committing a genocide," there have been multiple posts and articles over the past 2 years proving otherwise (including their recent attack on New Year's Eve). This also includes the Russian war crime of Ukrainian children being kidnapped by Russian soldiers, deported to Russian reeducation camps, getting brainwashed, and being used as Russian Propaganda tools:

Between the 2:27 and 2:37 mark, Isobel Yeung (the narrator) doesn't mince her words when she notes how Vladimir Putin and his cronies are accused of trying to "ethically cleanse a generation of young Ukrainians."

If you've read this far, you can probably come to the conclusion that imtryingsir did absolutely zero research, or even cared enough to follow the last 2 years of news about the Russian-Ukraine War, before making their abhorrently idiotic comment.

So why am I bothering to dignify this with a response when it's clear this person is being maliciously stupid? Because of this post. Specifically, the disgusting little remark they made where they tried to justify why a Jewish woman on social media deserved to be bullied/harassed (which eventually led to the Russia apologist comment above when they were called out on it by multiple Tumblr users):

Putting aside the gross victim-blaming and thinly-disguised antisemitism (which I'm sure my Jewish followers are deeply sick of at this point), what really gets me is how disingenuous this user is. They don't actually give a rat's ass about what's going on in Gaza: Someone who truly cares about genocide and the deaths/suffering of innocent people wouldn't be going out of their way to downplay/whitewash the genocidal actions of another country (Russia), or making comments dismissing another groups problems/trauma while dehumanizing them, or even straight up wishing for more death and destruction:

People like this (as well as the so-called "Pro-Palestine" users in the Jewish woman's post who were harassing her) are devoid of empathy. They relish in being cruel and condescending to others because they feel empowered in doing so, and they know they can get away with it without facing lasting consequences. They are doing nothing to help alleviate an already horrific situation, and are just making the world a worse place to live in. I'm sure they'll tell themselves the sweet little lies about how their bullying and antisemitism is really "activism" or "caring for Palestinians" or "Being antizionist; not antisemitic" (while continuing to spew the same bigoted rhetoric that Jews have been calling out as antisemitic for YEARS). At this point, I truly don't give a damn what their excuses are since they will grasp at anything, no matter how flimsy, to rationalize their behavior.

I never thought I'd see the day where a bunch of Leftist/Westerners would embody two of the most loathsome fictional characters in media (right down to their hateful, sadistic, vile attitudes), and yet that is the point we've currently reached:

To say this has been deeply unpleasant to witness is an understatement. 😒

I talked about this in a recent post about antisemitism from the Left, and I'm going to reiterate something I said: "There is a larger conversation that needs to be had about how selective Leftist empathy and compassion really is. By this, I’m talking about people on the Left who will a.) Only be compassionate/empathetic when it’s convenient for them, or b.) Only be compassionate/empathetic towards people they think are “deserving” of it."

People like imtryingsir only prove why it's important to have this conversation: If you're perfectly okay dismissing/downplaying the suffering of one group of people (be it Jews, Ukrainians, Palestinians, etc) so you can prop up your preferred group of people who are suffering because you think they are more "deserving" of empathy/compassion......................you need to do some serious self-reflection about the type of person you've become.

[lumi-klovstad-games]

"No Love Lost" aka "Ailani Meets The Emperor Again"

A short scene in which Ailani, the recently returned Second Primarch, meets what's left of the Emperor for the first time in 10,000 years to declare her intentions. And finally get a lot of crap off her chest.

Gonna be honest, this is basically Daddy Issues: The Fanfic.

Ailani had made it before the Emperor at long last. She barely remembered what he’d looked like, if she’d ever known even a fraction of the truth of his appearance at all, for all his psychic posturing. But what sat on the Golden Throne was barely the man who was barely her father. A massive, decrepit corpse, more skeleton than man, more deceased than deity. Yet the pressure in her brain told her that something connected to that body was still VERY much alive… and it was at least somewhat aware of her.

The Emperor’s Daughter failed to bow or kneel, and this did not go unnoticed by the attendant Custodes. She stood there, sizing up this undead monument to a single man’s arrogance, ego, and mistakes. Her green-stained eyes looked him over. Her ears heard the whirring and clicking of the ancient machinery of the Golden Throne.

There was much silence for a long while. It had been ten thousand years, and their last exchange had almost come to blows much as their first had. Her last act in his Imperium was to fire on his soldiers and betray his trust by favoring her people above his orders. What was there she could possibly say? Would it even do her any good at all? Was whatever was left of the Emperor even cognizant enough to answer in any way? There was only one way to find out.

“I've returned.” Ailani said, breaking the silence.

Her head filled with unfiltered thoughts that were not hers.

TRAITOR

DISGUSTING

DISAPPOINTMENT

ABERRANCE

The Second Primarch laughed darkly. 

“Yeah. It’s nice to see you too, Dad. I suppose we both are just going to have to accept that we’ll always be a disappointment to each other. I for not being who or what you wanted me to be, and you for being an irredeemably arrogant bastard. I mean, I admire your ability to consistently remain true to your character, even if that character has always been less than stellar. I'm not sure what was more impressive: your ability to remain consistently unpleasant around me or your knack for making enemies you didn’t have to have.”

ABOMINATION

MISCREANT

APOSTATE

REPUGNANT

“You know, I never liked you much either. But the ideals you sold me? Those were maybe the only good you ever put in my life. I never really believed in your Imperium or your Crusade. I certainly never believed in you – how could I when the first thing you ever did around me was express your revulsion for my identity and then try to kill my parents?”

FALSE

KIDNAPPERS

CORRUPTORS

HYPOCRITE 

“Still refusing to admit you’re wrong. 10,000 years and how many wars to end all wars and you still haven’t changed. Well, you may not have believed a damn word you said when you poured honey in my ears to get me to come to Terra the first time, but they were words worth believing in. And as far as I’m concerned, you already got what you deserved.”

The Custodes reached for their weapons, but did not draw. Not yet.

SANCTIMONIOUS

UNGRATEFUL

UNNATURAL

BROKEN

Ailani let out a judging laugh.

“Ungrateful? Ungrateful?! My legion and I did good work. We did what we were told to do. What we were MADE to do. Made, BY YOU, to do. And we did it well. Our lives were dedicated to your mandates, your purpose. But because I wasn’t the child you WANTED, you never trusted us. You took my family, my community, my whole WORLD hostage to ensure my loyalty. But I did the work. ‘Maybe,’ I told myself, ‘maybe if I work hard enough, if I prove my usefulness, he might ease off. He might see that I’m just as worthy as my brothers. He might realize that he doesn’t need to hold a sword over my family’s necks to make me keep my promise.’ But you never did. Nothing I did was EVER enough for you! I will ALWAYS be a deviant in your eyes. A freak. A mistake. But I’ve finally realized, that’s not MY problem. It’s yours. And I’m done letting the people of this Imperium suffer for this grudge. I’m back, and you’re not. You can just sit there and simmer. I’m done with you, and I don’t expect I’ll speak with you again. I’m a healer. I learned triage a long time ago. I know better than to waste energy and resources on a lost cause when there’s ways to use them to do more good elsewhere. So that’s what I’ll do. The Imperium is wounded. It’s sick. It’s in pain. Untold teeming billions upon billions are crying out. They need help.  So I’m going to help them however I can. They didn’t ask for any of this. Yes, they’ve done SO MUCH WRONG. They are so afraid and hateful, but that isn’t their fault. They’ve never known another way. It’s just another way they’ve been injured. And for all your faults, I know neither one of us ever wanted this for them. We both believe in a better tomorrow, and a better mankind to live in it, after all. On the oath I swore ten thousand years ago, I swear I will keep trying to make the Imperial Ideal the Imperial Reality. You can trust me, just like you always could and should have.”

The Custodes relaxed as Ailani turned to leave. She stopped at the door to the Throne Room. She had a feeling she needed to.

REMISS

THANK

YOU

̲D̲A̲U̲G̲H̲T̲E̲R̲

Ailani smiled. 

“Maybe I will see you again, actually.”

[astoldbyaja]

The Pink Blossom- Ch.24

It had been a few hours, and my uneasy stomach feelings were clearing up. I did not want to burden Taka’s home with my presence any further. Even though she kept trying to keep me at her lodge, I managed to convince her to let me go back outside… if Ujio walked me back to his lodge. But I knew he and I had much to discuss, so we took a short walk into the woods. The world around us could not touch us there.

“There is so much to prepare for. I don’t want to be a distraction.” I said, my arm was gently wrapped around Ujio’s. He shook his head looking at me with a soft stare.

“Pregnancy is not a distraction, but a gift.” he said as we both observed the trees above us. I nodded slowly and stopped walking, and we faced each other.

“You and I both know I would not ask you to stay behind for the sake of the baby. This war cannot be avoided, and you must do your duties to Katsumoto.” I said softly, my lips parting to say more, but I was finding it difficult. Ujio took my hand and rested his other hand on my stomach.

“Grace.” he said softly this time saying my name correctly. My chest tightened at this. He placed my hand to his cheek, and he leaned into my palm, both our skin warm against one another, “I don’t care what happens to me… I only care that you and our child are safe no matter what happens, no matter if we win or lose, the emperor’s soldiers will never find this village. You both will be safe here to live out your lives as you choose. I am no longer just fighting for my lord and my people, but also my family.”

I exhaled deeply at his words, and he gently kissed my hand. My voice was caught in my throat. I didn’t know what to say other than I was scared for him. I looked down once more feeling tears swell in my eyes.

“And if I come back from this battle alive, then I will ask you to marry me.” he said. My heart nearly leaped from my chest at his words, and I looked up into his strong eyes. He meant it. He meant every word. I just leaned in and kissed him deeply wrapping my arms around his neck and nodding.

“Then I will say yes.” I replied gently, and he smiled and kissed me once more lifting me off the ground and twirling me some. I held him close giggling against his lips.

I could not keep Ujio to myself for Katsumoto and his generals had much to discuss about the upcoming battle. Taka was not letting me out of her sight, and she and her kids stopped by Ujio’s lodge to keep me company. As she cooked some soup for us, some of the villagers stopped by with gifts. It appears someone told them of my pregnancy. They brought food and kimonos and little toys and rattles.

“Arigatō.” I said to the last elder who came by with his wife. I went to help Taka make food.

“Ujio has been a great teacher helping me speak to you all.” I replied. Taka smiled and chuckled.

“And soon your baby will be able to speak Japanese.” she said. I nodded looking down at my stomach smiling at the thought of actually having a child growing inside me.

“It’s nice to be able to speak to everyone in the village.” I replied, and she smiled and glanced back at me.

“I think everyone appreciates it.” she told in English, and I nodded and sat down some feeling already exhausted once more. Taka must have sensed this and brought me some tea from the doctor man who gave it to me before to calm me.

“When you were pregnant with your children, was your husband happy, excited?” I asked hoping not to stir up any sad feelings from his passing. Taka was quiet as she stirred the soup.

“Hirotaro was always serious, always strong. When I became pregnant with Higen, he began to show a mild soft side. It took lots of arguments,” she said smiling some most likely at the thoughts, “but in the end, he was overjoyed.” I nodded and sipped the tea.

“I’m sure fighting was quite annoying.” I said softly, and she nodded before bringing some of the bowls to the small table before us.

“He proved troublesome, but at the end of the day, neither of us ever let the other go to bed angry.” she said, “He cared for me through both pregnancies and when he was not fulfilling his wishes to my brother, he was fulfilling my wishes.” I winced at her words and nodded. Would my life be like Taka’s? Would I lose my love to war and be left to raise my child on my own? Although I believed Taka and I would help raise each other’s kids together, to know my child will never know its father frightened me. Higen remembers his father, but does Magojiro even ask about his late father?

After we finished eating, I helped Taka clean up. It honestly kept my mind off the work everyone was participating in outside, building weapons, preparing their armor. When the moon came, Nathan and I took this time to walk the quiet village. Everyone who passed us smiled and nodded in respect and we returned it. The moon and stars brought light to the place and we just basked in the beauty of the night.

“I never expected this to be the end for us.” Nathan started, and I nodded and looked up at him.

“It does not have to be.” I replied, and he looked at me and nodded understanding what I meant.

“Yes. I could stay here.” he said, and I nodded.

“You belong here just as much as I do. You’d get to see my baby grow. You and Ujio.” I replied weakly and he smiled.

“Wouldn’t that be a grand thought?” he asked, and I nodded gently. Yes, it would be. He too was going to fight, and that meant he may or may not come back either. None of them could come back. I looked down at my stomach.

“I haven’t thought of names yet.” I replied, and he looked down at me and chuckled.

“No, I wouldn’t suppose you had… Pregnant I can’t believe it.” he said happily, and I nodded.

“Yes. I shall await until you all return to me so you can help me name he or she.”  I replied. Nathan gave a saddened smile.

“Grace-” I finally paused and looked up at him.

“Just promise me okay! You, Ujio, Katsumoto, Nobutada, you will all return.” I replied. He could see the worry in my face, and he nodded.

“I promise.” he replied. I nodded seeing the deepness in his eyes. We continued our walk.

“Have you discussed names with Ujio?” he asked.

“No. I am hoping to do so tonight. I am sure he will have some ideas… maybe.” I said. I wasn’t sure if Ujio was even thinking about names with the thought of war just days away. Nathan nodded.

“Well whatever name you choose, it will be a beautiful name.” he said. I smiled feeling my eyes water.

“I hope it wasn’t too much to ask that you bring back Ujio to me, both of you come back to me, because I am going to need one of you to hold my hand and tell me things will be okay while I am pushing out my first child!” I cried heavily, and Nathan pulled me in to him holding me tight to him.

“We will come back. I promise.” he whispered into the side of my head. I knew that was asking for too much, but I knew no matter the outcome I would accept it. I had no choice, but to. Or maybe I could go to the emperor and beg him to stop this. I was foolish to think that thought, even more foolish to actually voice them to Ujio.

“Grace the time for peace talks are over. After we broke Lord Katsumoto out of prison, it was a clear act of war.” Ujio said letting down his top knot and combing his fingers through his hair. I sat on a pile of soft blankets nodding.

“But we do not know that. He will listen to me.” I said, and he shook his head.

“That disgrace for a Japanese, Omura has poisoned his mind. You have seen his army.” he said. I nodded.

“But he favors me. I know he does.” I said.

“You’re a woman… an African he has never seen before, an African with a sharp mind and strong beating heart to match. He is interested in you because of how exotic you are, something he can never own!” he snapped back turning and moving to sit by me now. I tensed at his words some.

“Is that how you thought of me when we first met?” I asked lowly. He shook his head.

“No, I thought you would be nothing but trouble.” he mildly teased causing me to chuckle. He then took my hand in his. “Besides now that you are pregnant, war is the furthest thing that should worry your mind.”

“I can’t get it out of my mind, because this war involves you. It involves Nathan and Katsumoto and Nobutada and everyone we love.” I said strongly, and he nodded slowly. I let my fingers uncurl from his hand I move to gently trace my fingers through his smooth hair. He gave me a soft stare, but even such softness was rooted in hardness.

“This battle is happening and we cannot avoid it,” he said, and I looked down nodding, “but what we can also not avoid is names for our child.” I smiled and leaned in to him some.

“Do you have any ideas for names?” I asked.

“You are the mind, body, and spirit that will create and bring a new life into the world. It is only fitting you should name it.” he said wrapping an arm around me, and I shrugged now looking down at my stomach.

“I do not have any names in mind at the moment, but whatever names they are, I want them to be Japanese names.” I replied leaning in to him.

“Whatever names you choose, I know they will honor me.” he said, and I looked up at him with a smile and he returned it before leaning in and kissing me lovingly. I leaned in to him and wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer to me, and he leaned in to me deepening the kiss. His hands now roamed my body moving beneath my kimono and cupping my breasts gently. I knew this would be the last night, Ujio and I would ever touch or hold each other like this again. As Ujio’s lips trailed down my neck causing soft moans to escape me, my eyes shut close for a moment before opening in thought. Maybe the emperor would listen to me.

[mvgcs]

learning when to swallow your rage & when to keep it close by just in case, little girls weren’t made for war and yet it is all you know, a pretty smile coated red with eyes that calculate every move, the eerily calm silence before a raging storm ensues, the weight of the world has never felt more heavier on your shoulders.

personal.

full name: lucy amara weasley

nickname/s: lu, luce, lu-lu (she refuses to acknowledge it) Tiny (james only), weasel,

age: twenty four

birthday: october 12th

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexuality: bisexual

relationship status: single

aesthetic & personality.

positive traits: loyal, protective, ambitious, pragmatic

negative traits: short tempered, cruel, argumentative, destructive

hobbies: she draws in her spare time, cooking, sewing up torn clothes, trying to get her fathers approval at least once,

health: depression & anxiety

scars/tattoos: has a scar from falling off one of the beds in the safe house when she was a child on her right knee, another scar running along her back from combat.

magic.

patronus: a fox ; sharp, clever, intuitive, creative.

boggart: being captured and left behind, never to be saved

wand type: elm wood, dragon heart-string, 11" & unyielding

occupation: a soldier for the order

affiliation: order of the phoenix; griffin rank.

school & house: scholomance & slytherin

childhood.

you were born screaming and wailing, grabbing the attention of everyone present at your birth. it was not calm or joyous. it was terrifying - a war was waging outside the doors and hideouts you knew as home, which was always changing. your birth was the scathing reminder that the world still was not safe, it was on fire, and at any moment death could knock. they named you lucy amara weasley, a terribly soft name for a girl that grew up to be anything but. your father knew this was no world for soft girls with blankets of safety and innocence surrounding them - - the monsters under your bed were the death eaters in your fathers bedtime stories, the skeletons in your closet were the friends your family lost through the years. there was no address attached to your name, and yet home had become the people around you - cousins, friends, your mum. there were doubts your father ever wanted you, and yet he instilled in you the knowledge of every defensive spell and maneuver. do not rely on anyone but yourself. survival instincts became second nature to you despite the safety of scholomance. but you always felt like a hassle. your emotions had always felt too big for your body; the rage coursing inside filtered out in acts of defiance; fights at school, smart comments made to teachers - you were reckless, and brave, and so fucking angry at the world. but no matter how much anger and recklessness spieled from your ever-growing body, percy weasley barely lifted an eye. and it seemed that is how your life would be.

scholomance.

scholomance had become the home away from home and popularity had become second nature ; it was easy making friends. everyone knew of lucy weasley, the slytherin, the popular girl, the trouble maker. always something attached to the name that bore no weight of importance. the hat had towered over your head, picking apart the depths of you that had never seen the day of light before, announcing the decision before you could even protest. but it was the ambitious and cutthroat nature that carved a home within the den of snakes ; and instead of being disappointed, it was where you finally felt home. the upbringing hesitantly given by percy helped with your education; despite all the flaws in mannerisms and attitude, there was ambition fueling you; needing to be the best. to prove yourself to everyone. nothing drove you like the spite that fueled your actions in childhood, but even still. approval from the one who you wanted it most from never came; it was as if he never saw what you could be. but you'd make him see. others were afraid for graduation and what it meant. for most, it meant signing away their life for a cause that might never win; and you knew you'd be one of them. willing to die before you had a chance to live. joining the order with your family, your best friends - all in the name of freedom. for the chance to step outside without a target on their back.

now.

the rage that lived inside your bones was finally useful, and it helped boost through the rankings of the order; other's were recognising your lethal combat and defensive magic. it was where you were strongest - protecting, defending - but with power came great responsibility. because for all you were good for; hesitation almost came with the cost of your life. it was supposed to be a simple look out; listening out for information and reporting back to one of the older order members. what wasn't accounted for was the stray death eater that had slipped past your defenses and in a moment of hesitation, they had left you scarred ; running along the length of your back. ever since then there's been something different. more darker. spells become more vicious, nights are spent studying poisons, spare time is pouring over battle plans, or training until you cant stand. a griffin rank. a soldier. a daughter - but not when it matters most. and you fear, that this is all your life will ever be.

[ravnloft]

hellooooooooooooo i realized i have never done like a full list of my ocs. so here it is

amma theylin: dark elf rogue, chaotic neutral (leans evil), dual-wielding swords and ranged bow, proficient in being sneaky and being hot. tragic backstory is she became infatuated with a guy who was trying really hard to be lawful good and when he dropped the ball on their coup d'état plot she killed him and ran. will do literally anything if it pays well enough. played her in dnd, bg3 and elder scrolls.

lady gwendolyn viridience morrigan, druidess, esq.: half-elf druid, usually chaotic good, majored in botany, minored in ethically questionable usage of charm spells. tends a greenhouse that holds a portal to the feywild, the stewardship of which she was bequeathed by a very powerful archwizard and mentor and good friend, on his deathbed. she never wanted it but the choice was between her and her evil sister/s so the archwizard gave it gwen. now she uses it to (1) be the best damn florist in neverwinter (2) howl's moving castle her way away from bad fantasy tinder dates because she's a hopeless romantic and terrified of commitment. played her in dnd and bg3.

samson o'dare: human/aasimar paladin, true good, big sword and bigger shield, great with animals, has wings like a mourning dove. he worshiped chauntea as a child and then one day lathander appeared to him in the middle of a field and told him it was his holy holy duty to be a paladin of light. samson was like hell yeah i want a sword. and began adventuring. adventuring quickly proved to be far more unpleasant than he had expected and he prays to chauntea every day like "mom i'm scared come pick me up". played him in dnd and bg3.

nol barrow-bound: undead death cleric, ??? (she is extremely impressionable), sickle and staff/half-caster, uses a human skull as an arcane focus and has 1 million holy symbols on her person. used to be a hag's apprentice and then she woke up on the side of the road one day and was just like, "guess i'm an entrepreneur now". gifted alchemist, even more gifted necromancer, makes her living as an herbalist and medium, lowkey cheats on the medium part because she just tells people what they want to hear (or at least what she thinks they want to hear) but she doesn't see it as cheating because she IS contacting the dead she just isn't letting them be RUDE. collects roadkill. also kind of looks like roadkill. one time i thought "haha what if nol and samson were in an adventuring party together" and now they're tragedy-to-romance endgame lovers. played her in dnd and skyrim. she's usually my go-to for dnd oneshots :')

sigg solveig/sigourney gevaudan: human (? she's huge, there's no way she's fully human)/werewolf barbarian, will change her entire ethos if a hot girl says so, sword/axe/hammer so big it is physically impossible for people other than her to wield. tragic backstory is she contracted lycanthropy at a young age and wound up killing her familar. she went into hiding and became a fighter, a laborer, a soldier, whatever put food on her table, but eventually her lycanthropic bloodlust got hard to control and she became a hermit rather than risk killing her loved ones again. she is not smart or wise or especially clever but why would she need to be when she can crush someone's head with one hand. womanizer but her deepest wish is to get married and be a stay-at-home mom baking for her wife every day. played her in pathfinder and skyrim.

princess daisychain frances van pancypants iii: goblin, class variable but generally support/healing, true good. looks like an albino bat. raised by halflings. the sweetest, nicest, tiniest magical girl you will ever meet. completely filled with love. knows one (1) swear word. played her in dnd.

arkhemites "miette" du bäl: tiefling warlock, something evil but might go on a hero's journey idk, worships whatever tentacled space monster is native to the setting. wants to plunge the world into entropy so it can be born anew. she's noble or royal but has like 16 sisters and most of them are older. played her in starfinder.

[babygurltash]

OC Name Meaning

Hi, I'm about two weeks late to this - thanks so much for the tag, @sillyliterature! :D

Rules: google and post the meaning of your OC'S name (if you made their name up or they go by a nickname, post an explanation of how it came to you)! bonus if you can find something for their last name too.

I'll do my BG3 Tavs (+ my Durge) and also some of my Shepards! <33

Laurel: My first, and main, Tav!! They're a Seldarine drow warlock with the Folk Hero background (I went in blind and didn't realize Wyll has the same class & background, oops). They've always tried really hard to forge relationships with all kinds of people to 'prove' that not all drow are evil and/or Lolth worshippers. Since their mom raised them to be a selfless hero who would improve public perception of drow like she does, they were named after the crown of leaves that would be given to heroes and victors in our world... which has been a heavy burden to bear. In meeting Lae'zel, they learned that it's completely possible to not care what others think of you or how you 'represent your race' - and it's taught them to be themself, instead of some ideal of a 'perfect' drow.

Estelle: My tiefling sorcerer that I made specifically to romance Astarion with! Estelle was born to a tiefling general and a marid (evil water devil). Their mother, the general, wanted a child who would have strong powers and an even stronger mind - that's how she chose Estelle's father. However, Estelle had a soft heart and no mind for strategy. Their parents abandoned them on the streets as a result. This made Estelle grow angry and cold, and they vowed to tap into their own strength, join the army, and get revenge on the parents who saw them as worthless. The Nautiloid got them before they ever made it off the streets though. I borrowed their name from a character I love in Arslan Senki - she disguises herself as a boy to join the army and fight for what she believes in, so I thought it was fitting.

Tharien: My sister told me she had a dream where I made a D&D character and called him Tharien, so I made a BG3 character with that name, hahaha. He's my little murder freak who's going to destroy the grove and romance Minthara!

Valiska: My first, and so far only, Durge. I really wanted to play with the contrast between the monstrous and the beautiful, so I chose a race that's seen as monstrous (half-orc) and gave her soft, beautiful hair. She's also a bard because she wants to add loveliness to the world, and hates the violence within her very much. 'Valiska' as a name kind of just came to me, I think it rolls off the tongue nicely and thought it suited her appearance somehow.

Seren: The githyanki cleric I made for my co-op pt with my bf! They're a cleric of Tyr with a strong moral code that leaves little room for subtlety or nuance. I named them after a character I like (again), this time from Magi: Princess Serendine. Magi's Serendine is brave and stubborn, and she learns that the country she believed in so strongly is actually rotten on the inside. I wanted my Seren to go through a similar arc, and they share a lot of Magi's Seren's traits, so I found the name very fitting.

Aria: My first Shepard!! I once again went in blind - imagine my surprise when I got to ME2 and met Aria T'Loak...

Aria Shepard is Earthborn, and was found on the steps of an orphanage in the middle of an opera performance at the nearby theater. Her caretakers heard the music and named her accordingly. She's always shut away the more poetic, soft side of herself in order to survive her harsh realities. That changes when she meets Thane, who draws out her most vulnerable self almost without trying. I'm still in the middle of writing a long (very long) fic about her and Thane that I'm hoping to maybe start publishing soon.

Ares: A renegade Shepard is something that can actually be so personal, as I learned when I made Ares. She's a tough career soldier who's wholly dedicated to the Alliance and its ideals, so ME2 has been a fun ride so far. I wanted her name to be equally tough and not too feminine, because she's nonbinary. When the idea hit me to name her after the god of war, I couldn't stop thinking about it until I sat down and completed her character creation.

Tobi: The Shepard I made so I could finally romance Tali! Tobi is a Colonist who has spent years hiding behind false identities. When the Batarians came and took his family, he ran until his legs gave out and his cousin Tobias had to carry him to safety. Tobias was then caught and killed. The incident shook Tobi up so badly that he kind of lost his sense of self, and instead took on Tobias' name and identity. He joined the Alliance under that false name, two years too young to be legally allowed to do so. Hackett figures out what happened eventually, but by that point, Tobi Shepard is an indispensible part of the military and is already of age. No one's called Tobi by his given name since his family died, and he prefers to keep it that way... though he's told Tali his story in private.

No-pressure tagging: @megatraven @aevallare @choccy-zefirka @jotarowan and anyone else who feels like it, feel free to say I tagged you!!

[glorbo-from-your-evil-show]

‘Cut the power’ hey that sounds familair

‘Cut the communications’ hey that sounds familiar

‘Bomb the living hell out of everyone’ hey that sounds familiar

About the ‘israel warned people’ hi yeah they told palestinians about safe zones, waited til they GOT to those safe zones, and bombed em! That sure sounds cool, right?

Also, no, the icj WOULDNT declare it a genocide. How do we know this? Because there is a literal court case GOING ON NOW about how this IS a genocide. And it isnt being publicised on ANY euro/us-centric news. At ALL. Wonder why…?

Hey, remember that post where an official israeli government twitter account posted images of bomb shells beneath a child’s bed and claimed it was hamas, and about 20 different professionals immediately noticed the fact that they were ISRAELI MADE BOMBS, called them out for it, and the post was promptly deleted?

Remember the time israel said hamas beheaded babies, which turned out to be a COMPLETE lie?

Hey. Do you think europe didn’t know about the holocaust as it went on? They 100% fucking knew. Do you honestly, whole-heartedly think the uk, russia, the us, didn’t know about these camps? Because they did. I assure you, they did. Was it publicised in these places? At all? No, not until they managed to free the prisoners. Do they make any mention of how the prisoners fought back? How there were several uprisings? How this wasn’t just a mass ‘oh well, what can we do?’

No. Because no country ever wants to admit to a genocide happening. I wonder why the us still hasn’t admitted guilt to several genocides?

Why has japan not admitted guilt to what they did to the people of china?

No country will EVER admit to wrongdoings. The icj admitting that this is a genocide WILL trigger a world war. So, even if this court case is won, they won’t call it a genocide. Because they want the facade of peace.

Hey, do you know who else bombed hospitals, schools, and places of religious worship?

Russia.

Germany.

America.

Who was it that fired upon the hostages being returned to palestine during a ceasefire?

Whose hostages said they were treated kindly, and whose came back broken, bruised, and said they were kept within inhumane conditions?

Who is posting videos of captured palestinians, blindfolded, in a car while blasting the israe anthem and laughing at them?

Who is posting videos of their soldiers doing tiktok dances, and trying to humanise their weapons of war?

Who is having several countries, many of which have been victims of apartheid and genocide, taking them to the icj for genocide?

Who is using white phosphorous, a banned substance, on civilians? Something so horrible that it is flat out illegal for use, even during war?

People against israel are (largely) not antisemitic. Calling a genocide what it is isn’t being antisemitic. Genocide isn’t exclusive to jewish people.

If israel is letting palestinians leave, if they’re trying to let civilians live, why are they using banned substances? Why are they preventing civilian movement outside of palestine? Why are they cutting all communications frequently? Why are they bombing hospitals, why are they killing journalists? Why was there a news story, just a few weeks ago, about a little palestinian girl, hiding in a car with 2 corpses because they had just been killed in a bombing? Why was the news story not that the israeli soldiers around the car saving her, but killing her? And not indirectly, but by shooting her?

If israel has such intimate knowledge of hamas activity that they KNOW they are hiding in hospitals, including which ones and when, as well as that they have ‘underground tunnels’ (which even more professionals have proved impossible, due to the lay of the land and how close to the ocean these ‘tunnels’ would be) why are they not able to more selectively target them rather than bombing an entire hospital?

Hey, who else called a genocide a war? I seem to remember someone calling an event in 1942 a war on jews? Might just be me.

I feel so angry, scared, and powerless right now. I hate living in a country that actively supports genocide, I hate how many companies actively support genocide. And I hate how difficult it is to find reliable sources of information about what's going on.

[happymeishappylife]

Movies I Watched in 2023

1. Tu Me Manques

The premise of this movie and its subsequent is both beautiful and absolutely heartbreaking. Based on a play and a true story, the idea is that an estranged father who didn't understand his son because of his sexual orientation, finds his phone after his death and wants to learn about his life. This leads him to connect to his son's boyfriend who shows him, teaches him, and pours his heart out to this stranger because their relation is what leads his lover to commit suicide. And that in itself is promising, until you get to the end of the movie and find out that these are the actors of the play, showing what would be the better ending to such a heartbreaking story. Instead, that father wanted nothing to do with Sebastian and never goes to find out about his life.

2. Spirited Away: Live on Stage Production

I'm so glad they filmed this live show and made a movie. It's such an incredible production and just as enchanting as the movie itself. The puppetry, scenery, and staging to bring this animated film to life is a delight and so well done, that honestly it felt like watching the original movie. And honestly, with a caliber this high, I would love to see more of Studio Ghibli's works brought to life.

3. The Best of Enemies

This was an incredible movie and had amazing performances by Taraji P Henson and Sam Rockwell. What rocked me though is this is a true historical story from my home state and it happened 50 years ago. 50 years ago!!! And yet here in North Carolina we were still fighting the segregation movement, even if it was technically illegal. But watching the people of Durham clash because of the destruction of the 'black' school and watching how the clan tried to intimidate black and white folk for supporting segregation was wild. But watching Ann Atwater fight and then also help the new Klansleader C. P. Ellis with the caring of his son was an absolutely fantastic moment to prove to the audience and I'm sure the people of Durham, that change can happen. Which is why that ending scene, while tense, is so hopeful and a cheer worthy moment.

4. Tick, Tick... Boom

Rent has always been one of my favorite musicals, and the story of its creator has always been so bittersweet. Andrew Garfield deserves the world for such a brilliant portrayal of a man who struggle so much to make his dreams come true, and sadly never saw them thrive. Sure Jonathan Larson's obsession with his musical and the alienation of his friends and responsibilities is hard to watch, but that also influenced his art so much. And while we may never see a full production of Superbia, I applaud his risks to create amazing music.

5. First They Killed My Father

The story of Cambodia's Civil War is gut wrenching and guilt ridden, as I'm aware that we caused it. When I watched Funan a couple years ago, I was absolutely grief stricken by the way people were treated and how much they suffered. So while I had more background going into this, it didn't lessen the impact or the pain. The way its directed from the eyes of Loung Ung, a child at the time that the Khmer Rouge forces her family to leave Khmer Republic. She then watches as her family is forced to leave everything behind, be compelled to do hard manual labor and starve, and watch slowly by slowly as her family is torn from her, treated badly and killed. Plus watching her be trained as a child soldier and then having to walk through a mine field that she understands how it was created is just absolutely gut-punching as other people around her hit mine after mine. Just an incredibly powerful movie.

6. Free Guy

One of the more lighthearted movies on my list, I really enjoyed this movie because it twists the general conception of video games. I would love if some random NPC like Guy just decided to go rogue and do his own thing in a game. How beautiful would that be? And why would anyone try to terminate that? (I don't care if they are played hilariously by Taika Watiti). But I also love the understory of these two indie developers trying to reclaim their original build and preserve it from a giant game company who only wants profits.

7. Nope

Watched this during Spooktober this year and I wasn't that scared by it, even with the one true horror-esque scene of the blood and guts pouring down the farm house. Instead, I was super intrigued and loved this brilliant sci-fi movie because it envisioned a truly unique alien. I mean we don't know what's up there and of course there could be life who don't act like humans so why not a giant creature that's just eating people? I love OJ's calm collective approach to discovering what the alien is and what it wants and that he pulls from his long years of horse training to understand it. Plus, paired up with Em's hilarious and charismatic approach to trying to get famous off this footage it makes for a great partnership.

8. Marshall

Rest in Power, Chadwick, but you were so incredible. And in another movie where he gets to play one of the legends he absolutely shines. Seeing his portrayal of Thurgood Marshall on this case against a black man accused of harming a white women, we see his absolute relentless dedication to defend this man's innocence against the racist judge and jury, but we also see his compassion as he helps guide and show Sam Friedman that this more than just a trial. This is about civil rights. And as Sam has to deal with the pressure of our racist systems, he eventually comes around to become a civil rights fighter of his own.

9. Welcome to Chechnya

I happened to watch this documentary a couple days after Russia's supreme court ruled that the LGBTQIA+ community as a terrorist organism which is just devastating. But watching this and seeing how the problems first started gaining more attention because of Chechnya's horrific violations of human rights, made all the people featured in this documentary even more heroic. I can't even imagine going through anything like this and its so tragic that where more of the world is slowly making gains, its getting so much worse in Russia. But kudos to Maxim Lupanov who took the step to try and bring attention to the issue and take the persecutors to court. While it may not have changed the situation in Russia, it brought attention to the issue and raised the voices of that community which needs our help right now.

10. Liz and the Blue Bird

This was such an interesting story because at the heart of it, was the exploration and showcase of a relationship between Mizore and Nozomi. Mizore is a talented and introverted oboist who is getting ready to move on in her life, but rather than focusing on what's best for her, she only wants to be with Nozomi. But Nozomi is an extrovert and while she plays flute, she's not a star like Mizore is. So she doesn't have the opportunity to go to a star school. As the two figure it out, the background is the story of the new musical piece they are learning, which is about a lonely girl who rescues a blue bird that turns out to be a magical young girl that then makes it hard for either to let go.

Other Movies I Watched:

11. My Father’s Violin

12. Everybody’s Talking About Jamie

13. Judas and the Black Messiah

14. Miss Saigon: 25th Anniversary Performance

15. Over the Moon

16. Prayers for the Stolen

17. Dance of the 41

18. Homestay

19. Railroad Tigers

20. Shazam 2: Fury of the Gods

21. Saw

22. Parasite

23. Once Upon a Time in China 2

24. Needle in a Timestack

25. The Giver

26. Les Miserables

27. Tell it to the Bees

28. Amaraica

29. Real Women Have Curves

30. The Last Emperor

31. Te Ata

32. Funny Boy

33. The Death and Life of Martha P Johnson

34. Predator

35. The Sorcerer and the White Snake

36. West Side Story

36. The Wailing

38. Drive My Car

39. Saving Face

40. Confirmation

41. The Farewell

42. Son of Monarchs

43. Rosemary’s Baby

44. Weathering With You

45. Beginners

46. Passing

47. Please Don’t Save Me

48. One Night in Miami

49. I’ll Follow You Down

50. The Royal Treatment

51. My Name is Pauli Murray

52. The Harder They Fall

53. Mogul Mowgli

54. Mur Murs

Movies I rewatched in 2023:

1. Doctor Who: The Movie

2. Phantom of the Opera

3. Rent

4. Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat

5. Hairspray

6. The Muppet Christmas Carol

7. It's a Wonderful Life

[sakiaii]

Armored x Magic girls ‘title forever work in progress’ stories of the past "the king that sits on the hill of the dead"

maybe some 5-10 thousand years ago in the world of magic. separated from the rest of the continent by mountains the people living there believed on the other side is the spirit realm and dared not venture there. in their own past there used to be more kingdoms but as one smaller was destroyed by their former allies it sparked a war between the 2 biggest kingdoms. another instead of picking sides left out of fear towards the mountains never to be seen again. the trouble making kingdom was defeated and lost a good chunk of territory. nowadays they're trying to provoke war again. to be fair these are not big nations while they claim big territories they don't have cities, towns, villages conquered territory only has a fort. technically there are 3 kingdoms nowadays but there is also underwater realm which they believe is ruled by a god of see but spoiler back then people didn't know what a necromancer is.

now this king had 2 wives. the one he loved with whom he had a lot of children and the one that was forced on him by underwater "god". she had one child and the king did not believe it was his so he asked a wizard to use magic and try to find out. the wizard instead had a weird vision from which the sacred spirit of this kingdom chased him out off. in the field he saw a man sitting on a chair surrounded by dead soldiers a wolf lying next to him as he approached the man it turned out this was no wolf as sacred bear spirit roared at him. funny thing is the boy showed up with bleeding arm and a wolf, guards made a big fuss about it. the boy claimed it wasn't the wolf that hurt him and it's his friend. king allowed the wolf to stay because in the vision it was the sacred spirit but the 2nd wife was pissed at that decision.

skipping some details in their present day the other kingdom got their casus belli and crushed this kingdom mostly because a traitor gave them infos (spoiler mc's mother) and they executed everyone

mc was holding a fort and as they lost something triggered in mc who released unusual magic that killed the 1st army attacking them. the 2nd that arrived latter retreated as they had no way of knowing the situation. 1st was lead by king's son while the 2nd by his daughter and the 2nd thought how the 1st just lost so the woman was advised by her advisor to seek reinforcement as the fort's strength was clearly underestimated. she hated he was right as she wanted to prove herself. later someone shows up out of nowhere in the fort and ask mc what did he do. mc is confused what he means as his soldiers return to life while this person is claiming to be the keeper of the underworld.

he tells him how he will allow this only if he does few things for him. 1st save a trapped giant, 2nd save the sacred spirit of his nation as it is dying, 3rd go to mountains as there is a spirit in the underworld with a regret he would like to fix. turns out the kingdom that vanished has been living in cave systems under mountains but this spirit of their former ruler wants them to return to the surface. at the same time enemies are searching for him, his mother is there and the fort is now occupied by them. they don't consider him to be a threat as his mother is on their side. at the same time in 3rd kingdom queen receives messengers and asks them if they're aware what the content of the letter was, they were not. her own daughter was kidnapped by their king so she tells them she will spare their lives but they have to decide, options are to continue living under evil king or save her daughter. upon returning they find out her daughter was actually dead this whole time and escape to tell her that. turns out it was really the queen's sister that made an agreement with the evil king and this was her doing and now she will kill the queen but her daughter will be shocked at what her mother did.

and now for my favorite scene

at the fort as the daughter of the king is sitting with her back to window at the table, her advisor opposite of her and mc's mother on her left. the advisor is shocked at what he is seeing.. snow, snow is failing in the desert. soldiers are shouting and a huge impressive army can be seen from the walls and mc shows up on a horse, giant on his right and wolf on left and the wolf is about to do something but it's the sacred spirit that roars and the snow storm becomes heavier as archers fill the sky with arrows but the enemies wizard blocks them with a shield but now he is struggling to hold his staff and the shield breaks and he sees the keeper in the sky. and now they're asked to leave the fort. the woman is once again angry that her advisor is right as she listens to him and they leave. but later they will find the fort abandoned as this was just a distraction. mc's army left for 3rd kingdom as the 4th request from the keeper was also from the dead queen and she wanted them to save her niece.

they will save dead queen's niece whom her own mother imprisoned so she would not revel the truth. now that the truth is out nobleman want the niece to be the queen but she rejects as because of what her mother did she doesn't believe herself to deserve the crown. she tells them to rule themselves and to stay out of war with that troublesome kingdom and she will go with someone who deserves the crown more than her "a king with no kingdom" "a king who sits on the hill of the dead" she didn't know about the vision she said those words because he was the only heir of a kingdom where everyone was dead.

the last request from the keeper will have mc go to ruins of old destroyed kingdom where he will find out more about his side of the family.. skipping the details i mean its no secret that he is great grandson of the "god" of see but he will meet his great grandma there for the first time. skipping some other details like evil king lost a lot of children 2 sons in this war and the oldest long before the war as the 2nd oldest wanted to be the heir but now he will realize him from prison believing his ambitions will make him a good threat for the mc but meh died like all the rest on the battlefield.

this kingdom lost as even the 3rd kingdom joined in final battle and castle was besieged not only that but the mc will got some help from family he never meet as ships from the other side of the mountains where his mother's mother was show up. as the evil king will commit suicide the advisor says to that woman they should surrender but she had enough of his advises and is shouting to keep fighting and the advisor just stabs her in the back.

[jaehaerysiitargaryen]

gcuienveres​:

who: @burneddragon where: the wedding feast and celebrations of prince jaehaerys targaryen and princess lenora lefford.

emerald hues flickered to the stone beneath her feet at the sight of the targaryen cloak going over the shoulders of the lady lenora lefford; almost as though the sight in front of her was damaging enough for her to break from whatever cursed captivated her vision, and instead she looked down at the stone beneath her heeled shoes. and as she looked down, she was wholly aware of seven gazes look down at her. there was no sense of comfort or reassurance at that thought process; for the only thing she could try to grasp was whether lenora would remain safer in these lands, or within the realm of the westerlands.

she thought there would be a clear answer, only it seemed as though there was not. her soul would be safer; in a realm where the faith had not been entirely tainted or corrupted.

not yet, at least.

and suddenly it were as though she blinked and they were within the crowded great hall of kings landing. the music of the bards were loud, and the claps that came along with the dances seemed to cause the bricks of the red keep to tremble. there was laughter, and there was hushed discussions amongst the various different courtiers. she watched the bride sat atop the chair within the great hall, an icon of perfection indeed; and only, she could only hear the sound of the diamond necklace fastening around her neck. i fear a cage, were the words that were seemingly echoed in her mind time and time again; did guinevere lannister fear the cage?

she had made her peace that this was not to be the end. that their stay in this world easily fooled them into believing they were to be immortal; she would end up in the same state as a peasant struggling to make ends meet in the harshest conditions in the north. only, instead of watching her child eat the only share of the day, she watched her child grow into something he had no choice but to become. her presence beside her brother, on one side, and his wife lady rowan on the other was predictable; and when the prince of fair isle took his sister to the dance floor, she felt a slight exhale of relief come over her.

and when the dance was over, she looked at the people surrounding her: the vultures of the lion king’s small council.

and the groom, the green prince. the one that had been departed lannisport alongside the soldiers of the west, and had been rewarded with a handsome dowry for it. only came back with burned scares across his face, permanently changed. “your highness.” she greeted him, her tone amicable as she bowed her head in a show of respect in his direction. she used the title for a prince. there were some that thought he was rightful king. and lenora would be rightful queen. and so continued the laughter of the crowds, the sight of the dragon queen in striking red alongside her stormlander husband; all these people she truly had no idea of. who were these people?

“i extend my gracious congratulations on your union. may the gods bless you both with bounty.”

.

Jaehaerys saw her from the moment her brother took her to the dance floor, and he watched her between speaking to those that came up to him. Chatting with everyone who came up and when he grew tired of them, he let his wife do the speaking, he wanted to look them over. That night, for the wedding, he chose to not wear the mask of gold meant to cover the scars. As his face healed, he didn’t think needed. He needed to keep his eye strong though it was weak. And every day he waited to wake and find himself completely blind. It would be fine. His uncle was a blind swordsman. He would used make Jaehaerys wear a scarf over his eyes when they trained with staffs, the welts he carried turned into bruises. His broken fingers and bruised chest all proved to be worth what he was today. Pain was part of it all. And there was beauty.

Guinevere Lannister was beautiful. He remembered being a boy and thinking he would marry her one day. He would take the throne and Tyland would finally let him marry her. And now, he had no throne therefore no Guinevere. Lenora herself was beautiful, her hair was perfect, and he liked the way it looked against her skin, and he liked her eyes. The third most beautiful woman in the Westerlands was the most beautiful woman most everywhere else. It was no wonder he couldn’t resister looking at her. While Jaehaerys has never looked at the Queen of the Westerlands longer than to greet her, he couldn’t help noticing Guinevere.

Jaehaerys rose from the table, he hated this part of weddings. He liked it better when he was young, when he could drink and eat. Perhaps have a fight or two as was common among boys. Being a man required so much of him when he already had so much on his mind that he needed to focus on. And soon, the music would just get louder.

“Princess.” He bowed his head to her, why did make him nervous? Was is the boy … the brat prince who felt awakened? Even his wife made him nervous. Women of the West were so elegant. Of course, Jaehaerys knew nothing of her time in the Vale, he only wondered would be lucky enough to finally marry her.

“Thank you for your gracious words, they are well received. The Gods will bless the union, I know it. It is too bad Septon Androw could not be here. Perhaps, I will see him soon. Have you had the pleasure of hearing his sermons? I unfortunately couldn’t take part in his cleaning up of the Oldtown, politics get in the way of matters and my cousin would have been displeased with me.”

[rolling-harbinger]

I find it so interesting how Hunter literally relates to every characters problems in the show, but it’s then taken to the extreme for him.

With Luz, they are similar because they both can’t do magic naturally, they also feel guilt for helping Belos, and they both can’t go home (but with Hunter it’s taken to the extreme because he’s been helping Belos his whole life, and as a witch he should be able to do magic. He also can’t go home or else he would literally be killed)

With Amity, they are similar because they both have controlling and neglectful parent(s) (but with Hunter it’s taken to the extreme because Belos doesn’t care for Hunter and his safety at all, while Amity’s parents do actually care for her and her safety. And Amity always had her siblings, and she’s starting to make amends with her dad. But Hunter was always alone, he only recently got Flapjack, and there is no way to make amends with Belos)

With King, they are similar because both of their families were all killed (but with Hunter it’s taken to the extreme because his family was killed by the person he loved the most. And can you even say he has a family considering he’s a clone?)

With Lilith, they are similar because they both have a need to please adult figures in their lives, and they also can’t fail the emperor (but with Hunter it’s taken to the extreme because the emperor is his uncle. His whole life he needed to please the emperor. He never grew up with a loving family, unlike Lilith)

With Willow, they are similar because they both were/ are considered half a witch witches (but with Hunter it’s taken to the extreme because while Willow actually did get magic and is also really powerful with it, Hunter will never have magic)

With Gus, they are similar because they are overlooked and ignored by adults because of their age (but with Hunter it’s taken to the extreme because even though he is in an authoritarian position, he is still belittled and mistreated by adults and even made fun of)

With Eda, they are similar because they both got dad/uncle issues, and have both probably dealt with a lot of panic attacks in their life (but with Hunter it’s taken to the extreme because while Edas dad actually does truly love her, no matter what she did, Hunters uncle never even loved him in the first place)

(Also, I’m not trying to compare trauma here and say he has it worst, I’m just stating how he has his similarities to these characters, but his side is really taken to the extreme )

There’s also problems he has that no one else in the show can quite relate to.

He grew up as a child soldier. I can imagine he has trauma similar that of a soldier in war. The training he does seems to be very extreme, especially for a kid. I can imagine he has seen some pretty graphic and horrific stuff in his line of work. He also lives basically everyday fighting, stopping criminals, and protecting the emperor as his guard. His life is constantly at risk from criminals, traitors, enemies of the emperor, his own colleagues, and now even the emperor himself, the person he loved and idolized. He has almost died (and even died in past lives) so many times. He never got to live a normal childhood. He had to grow up fast, and adapt to this life. But the only reason it isn’t heavily affecting him is because he grew up with this stuff. So it’s normal for him. He doesn’t see any of this stuff as bad, unlike what an adult would see because they hadn’t grown up like that.

He was also heavily sheltered and doesn’t know basic normal relationships, and doesn’t understand normal concepts. He doesn’t know what’s considered normal and what’s not. He thinks backstabbing people is a completely normal thing to do to others and even his own friends because it happens all of the time where he comes from.

Everything also has to be earned for him. Nothing can ever be taken easy. He’s a powerless witch, he has no purpose in a world like this. He works so hard to prove that he is strong, and can make the emperor proud. Cause if he can’t, this world will forget him, and he will be left behind. He has no real magic, so he is seen as nothing from most people.

He also thinks he always has to prove him self, and that he is worth nothing if he can’t be of service to someone. He thinks he will be replaced and forgotten the moment he can’t complete a task. He always has to complete a task or mission with no failures, because he can’t disappoint the person he thinks that sees him as special.

There’s also the high possibility that Belos most likely not only emotionally abuses and manipulates Hunter, he also physically abuses him. The way Hunter always flinches, and the constant threats from Belos. Belos also gaslights hunter even when hunter is not there. Like in Hollow Mind, hunter has a lot of knowledge on the mindscape, but the moment anything puts Belos in a negative light hunter starts to doubt himself and call himself an idiot in the sake of putting Belos on top. He belittles himself for Belos.

He is very lonely. Before flapjack, he has been basically alone for 16 years, with nothing but an abusive uncle for company.

He also has a lot of pressure. He will do anything to make Belos happy. He will betray people, trick people, and hurt people (even if they showed kindness towards him), not really out of malicious intent, but because he is so terrified of failing or making Belos mad. He becomes very desperate and anxious the moment he can’t succeed at something. He has a lot of anxiety and he just can’t fail. If he didn’t come back with results, something bad will happen to him. This also makes him very self sabotaging sadly. (And Unlike Lilith) this has been with him his whole life.

He doesn’t even know what a friend truly is, when Eda referred to flapjack as Hunters friend, he seemed confused and acted like he didn’t know what Eda was even talking about.

He not only has bad mental health, but also physical health. He has so many scars on his body which could be caused by both Belos and missions he has had in the past. He also has these huge bags under his eyes just showing how he barely ever sleeps. He’s described as scrawny by Amity, so he might also not eat a lot as well.

There can also be guilt he has for helping Belos kill so many Palismen. He might’ve even helped Belos kill witches and “traitors” too considering Belos made past golden guards help him with that. Hunter constantly has memories of Palismen, and how he has helped kill them. (Again, similar to soldiers with ptsd from killing) and the reason only the Palismen being killed is affecting Hunter and not other things is because so far in the story, that’s the only thing he has realized was bad because of his friendship with Flapjack. He thought sending his friends off to be part of the emperors coven was fine until he realized their palismen would be in danger. If he never made his friendship with his palismen, he wouldn’t have seen anything else wrong with that. He can’t see anything wrong with how horrible his life truly is until he gets something that tells him otherwise.

Then there is also the problem with his uncles curse. He always wants to help with his curse, and find some type of cure. But every time he suggests something that may help, his uncle dismisses him, and may even get mad at him and threaten him. Hunter constantly has to witness Belos’s violent outbursts, and maybe even had to deal with his cursed form head on sometimes. Hunter grew up with this constant violence and this need to somehow cure and help Belos.

He also believed his life was set up for him. That there was no way he can have a life HE would want to live. He was always told the titan had plans for him. And that he can’t die, not for the sake of his own being, but for the titan. He had no choices in his life. Everything he did, was for the emperor.

He is very insecure. He acts very confident and egotistical (especially with the mask) but he doubts himself a lot. He doesn’t see someone worth anything, he just sees someone who needs to be of service to the emperor.

And now I can see him also having really bad identity issues, questioning if anything is real, what even is he, is he worthless? Was his purpose just to be made and killed over and over again by Belos? Is HE even real? Is anything he does actually HIM doing that, or is it just the person he’s supposed to be a clone of? His whole life is a lie. Everything he ever believed was a lie. Belos never truly saw him as special. He saw him as a thing. As a tool. Something that can just be replaced. He is nothing.

Dude… Hunter is teetering back and forth on a very thin line of mental instability, I’m surprised he even made it this far without being completely insane. (Albeit, he did go a bit crazy temporarily in Eclipse Lake. And it’s probably not even the first time that’s happened)

He really represses his trauma, and even looks back at it as a fond memory. But I feel like with him being alone in the forest with nothing but his thoughts and a bird will make him realize how screwed up everything really is.

He has gone through so much, and I’m afraid for what the future may hold for him because I have a good feeling his trauma is far from over

[soulmate-game]

Daughter of wonderwoman au where marinette finds out her mother is actually Diana and somehow it ends up with her meeting/being introduced to the batfam maybe because she has super strength and is seen yeeting some bad guys who tried to mug her... Or something.

“... you are running from your problems, Mari,” Adrien’s exasperated voice reminded his best friend. Again. She ignored him, and he threw his hands up in exasperation. “Look, you don’t have to do anything about it! Nobody would hold it against you if you decided to just, ignore that you found anything out at all. But you need to actually think about what we just found out and decide whether or not you’re gonna do anything—“ he side-stepped a piece of trash that went flying in his direction. “—or if you’re gonna move on and pretend nothing happened.”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing?” Marinette shot back, pushing her bangs out of her face and tying her hair back with one hand.

“No, you’re currently hiding away in Gotham to avoid your parents while you beat up every random group of idiots who thinks you’re an easy mark,” he retorted. Another wannabe kidnapper went flying in his direction, making him sigh and side step again. She had thrown that one with only her one free hand, showing just how upset she was. “You’re ignoring everything in your life, which is not what we meant we said you should get a little space.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Marinette dropkicked the last criminal into unconsciousness before stepping back and putting her hands on her hips. She looked over at the now seven passed out men in the alleyway, and the one very frustrated ex-model pinching the bride of his nose. “I think I’m coping just fine.”

“It’s better than being forced to suppress all of your emotions, sure,” Adrien reluctantly agreed. “But not by much. Your angry rampage through Gotham has already attracted more attention,” he raised his hand to point at a nearby rooftop. Several shadows lurked there, looming over the building’s edge. “Which, might I add, is exactly why I told you not to come to Gotham.”

“You’re the one who followed me here,” she shot back before turning to the shadowy figures above them. “Go ahead and come down! But it was self defense, and you can’t arrest or beat me up for defending myself!”

The first figure to drop down straightened your just as quickly, revealing the imposing figure of none other than Batman himself. The little white eyes on his cowl seemed to narrow on their own as he looked down at her.

“That might be true, but I’m sure you know my policy on metas in my city,” he grumbled back at her. He wasn’t necessarily threatening, but he definitely wasn’t welcoming either. With all of his limbs hidden behind the cocoon that was his cape, Marinette would never be able to predict his next move if he did decide to fight. Not that she seemed particularly worried about that as she crossed her arms over her chest and met his glare evenly.

“Oh, do you own this city now? I wasn’t given the memo,” she retorted. “And considering I didn’t even know I was a meta until last week? I think I deserve a little slack. I’m angry and if people think the tiny little girl in pink is an easy kidnapping target, then it’s their fault for making themselves into the perfect practice dummies for me to try out my newly discovered strength on.”

Adrien saw the eyes on Batman’s mask narrow even further. Marinette wasn’t exactly at her most charismatic at the moment, and Adrien didn’t wanna get the both of them into a bad relationship with the experienced superhero who always seemed to know things he shouldn’t know. So he stepped up quickly, getting in between Marinette and the Bat and holding his hands up in a placating gesture.

“Okay, Monsieur Batman,” Adrien started slowly, making sure his posture was impeccable and his smile bright. “She’s telling the truth, even if she’s not... the most tactful about it right now. She just found out some very concerning things about her origin and Gotham is the best place for her to hide from her problems and let loose a little pent up aggression. But— well,” he grimaced. “We didn’t intend to run into you guys, but maybe it’s a good thing we did.”

“How so?” Batman was clearly still incredibly suspicious of the both of them and wasn’t giving an inch. So Marinette rolled her eyes (she was still very moody) and leaned around Adrien so she could get a good look at the monochromatic hero.

“I thank my lucky spots that we ran into you, Batman!” She said monotonously. “Me and Adrien are paw-sitively excited at this opportunity.”

Batman. Froze.

Not only were those two lines the very first lines ever spoken to him by two foreign heroes a few years ago (with a few key words changed to protect identities), but they had become their code phrase for whenever they made calls to one another outside of their costumes. All at once it seemed to hit him— the golden hair and bright green eyes on the boy, the blue-black hair and normally super-focused bluebell eyes on the girl that were currently sporting very uncharacteristic frustration. Their heights. Their builds. All of this info flowed through his mind and compared to the information stored in his memory, and it only took the span of two seconds for everything to click.

Suddenly Batman was at full attention, back straight instead of looming over them and eyebrows clearly raised high under his cowl.

He knew Chat Noir and Ladybug would never take a random vacation to Gotham. Ladybug herself had nearly waxed poetic about how much the city depressed her just from the pictures she saw online. If she had willingly come to visit, it was more than to just blow off some steam.

“Batcave?” He asked, earning a relieved look from Adrien and a moody silence from Marinette.

“Please,” Adrien agreed. “You can probably help us, actually.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette leaned back in the metal debriefing chair, legs up on the table and looking for all the world as the picture of pure teenage rebellion and angst. Coincidentally, Red Hood was in the exact same position in the chair next to her.

Batman and all of his other bats and birds were in the cave with the two off-duty Parisian heroes. Everyone except Adrien and Marinette still had their masks on, since the two Parisians were still not privy to their identities. Yet.

To be fair, the bats hadn’t known the identities of the two miraculous users either before today.

“Cha Noir,” Batman started, only to get a head shake from the blond boy.

“Just call me Adrien. Chat’s out of the bag—“ he ignored the groans at the pun and soldiered on, “—so might as well use my real name.”

Batman nodded. “Adrien, then,” he amended. “Why are you and Ladybug really in Gotham?”

Adrien sighed. “I wasn’t lying, before. Marinette,” he gestured to his hero partner. “Just found out some distressing family news. Since HawkMoth is gone, she doesn’t need to repress her negative emotions anymore. But she also didn’t want to be around her parents while she processed everything. I told her to choose any other city— really, I begged— but she insisted on coming to Gotham.”

“The never ending cloud cover and constant rain seem thematic,” she finally spoke up, reaching into her big over-the-shoulder bag and pulling out a large envelope. She threw it to Batman, making the thin package slice through the air like a knife. To nobody’s surprise the seasoned hero easily caught the projectile between two fingers. He looked at the envelope and back to Marinette, silent questions floating in the air between them. Marinette decided to answer at her own pace.

“That’s what we found out. You see, one of my friends is a huge science nerd. A genius. And he wanted to compare DNA samples between us to see if there were any genetic components that determined a person’s suitability towards certain Miraculous or other magical artifacts over others. It was supposed to just be a fun side project that he didn’t expect any breakthroughs on. He mostly just wanted to satisfy his own curiosity. But instead of finding out if our DNA was linked to the miraculous, he found out that my parents are not biologically my parents.”

“Hence the whole just finding out that you’re a meta thing, right?” Nightwing spoke up, fully invested in the story. “Did they never say you were adopted before?”

“It’s not in the system,” she replied easily. “My parents have all the documentation to prove that I’m their biological child, except I’m not. When I confronted them about it, they caved and admitted that they had adopted me in secret and covered it up. Apparently a friend of theirs was involved in something illegal, and,” she waved at the envelope that Batman was now opening. “The details of what we were able to dig up are in there. The summary is this; their friend was part of a secret, illegal experimentation to create clones that could defeat the Justice League—“ the air seemed to get sucked out of the room as soon as those words left Marinette’s mouth. Everyone seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. “—a group called CADMUS. They made me, as apparently one of their early attempts. But I didn’t exhibit any of the powers they were looking for, or any meta traits at all, and my body refused to mature at the rate they wanted. They had no use for a seemingly normal human baby that they managed to clone, so they were preparing to kill me and start over. That’s when my parent’s friend stole me, not wanting to kill an infant, and begged my parents to take me in and pretend I was theirs. Low and behold, it turns out that my DNA just needed a very specific series of emotions to unlock it’s latent abilities.”

“Those emotions being..?” Red hood trailed off, earning a wolfish smile from Marinette.

“Intense anger, betrayal, and confused frustration closely followed by the desire to punch other people’s faces in.”

“That last one is just an assumption,” Adrien chimed in. “And maybe not accurate. But the first three, our scientist friend was able to confirm. The rapid experience of a lot of negative but action-oriented emotions released whatever had been holding back the powers in her DNA from expressing themselves,” he had switched to French so that he could explain everything exactly as Max had told it to them, but he knew all of them were fluent anyway so it was fine. They nodded along, processing the information.

The crinkling of paper drew everyone’s attention back to Batman, who had been flipping through the detailed break down of everything they had found about Marinette’s situation and how she was made by CADMUS.

“Uh,” Red Robin nervously spoke up. “What’s up, Batman?”

“Your genetic donors...” Batman breathed, getting a wink and finger guns from Marinette.

“Yup. Isn’t that just the most fucked up thing you’ve ever seen? They were clearly trying to make someone who could destroy the world.”

“That makes me nervous,” Nightwing admitted, getting up and going to get a look at the papers himself. “It can’t be that ba—“

When even Nightwing was left agape, everyone else who wasn’t in on it found themselves squirming.

“Just tell the rest of us, already!” Robin demanded after the silence stretched just a bit too long.

“The unknowing genetic donors that CADMUS used to make me,” Marinette spoke up, still with her legs up on the table. “Are a very mad-scientist’s-wet-dream combination of Lex Luthor, Bruce Wayne, and Wonder Woman.”

“We don’t even know why they added Bruce Wayne’s DNA,” Adrien admitted. “Although our scientist friend thinks it’s because of physique. His hypothesis is that, in order to support the genes of Wonder Woman, they had to add male genetics that could support the production of a very high muscle mass and would lean towards easy development of a very athletic body. Lex might be evil-scientist smart, but he’s a string bean. But if he added the DNA of another multi millionaire who just so happens to maintain a ridiculously fit body without putting any obvious work into it,” Adrien shrugged. “Then maybe the clone would be able to support Wonder Woman’s genetics and that of two human donors without falling apart.”

“So I’m ‘the clone’ now, huh?” Marinette snarked, earning an exasperated eye roll from her friend.

Batman just stared at the both of them for a moment. He walked away without a word, and came back with a fresh needle and a box. He placed it on the debriefing table.

“Can I do a paternity test myself?” He asked, his voice suspiciously less gruff than normal. “I trust the both of you, but I rather be safe than sorry with something like this.”

The both of them just stared at him in confusion. They traded a glance, and finally Marinette shrugged and moved to sit in her chair properly. Her shirt was already short sleeved, so she just held her arm out so Batman could easily get a blood sample.

“Sure, why not. But do you just have Lex Luthor or Bruce Wayne’s DNA sitting around to compare, or—“ she shut up when she watched Batman take off his glove and roll his own sleeve up. Realization slowly sunk in as he asked Nightwing to take a blood sample from him.

“Holy shit,” she breathed, eyes wide. “You’re— and Luthor doesn’t know— holy shit this is even worse than I thought,” Marinette rambled, not even noticing as Red Hood moved forward and took a small blood sample from her.

Adrien put a hand over his face and just laughed for a moment hysterically. “Oh my god,” he looked over at Marinette. “You could take over the world.”

“I have the blood of Batman AND Wonder Woman on MY side,” Marinette joked back, also hysterical.

When the bat’s high tech equipment was able to come back with a positive result only a few minutes later, Marinette and Adrien had to sit on the floor and just let it all sink in. Which Batman did not at all help by immediately unmasking himself and trying to make a proper introduction.

“I wanna go beat up random thugs again,” Marinette whined, pulling at her hair. “I’ll put on a mask, whatever, but just please let me punch people. I need to punch people right now.”

[seahagart]

can you tell us more about those atla ocs in that one art you made?

Omg! ya! They are actually for the avatar rpg! The setting is during the Hundred Years War, so roughly a couple years after Aang disappeared.

original post

Navi ^ is the youngest (13) is an airbender that escaped the firenation's attack on the air nomads, and is living in hiding, not knowing what has become of the air nomads other than they probably have been wiped out? She is apprentice to the cabbage man in the earth kingdom, and covers her tattoos to blend in. She belongs to my friend who doesn't have a tumblr

Ji Chuhua is an earthbender but more importantly, she works as a matchmaker/fortuneteller for the upper class in Ba Sing Se. She lives/is kept up in a nice house with a tea shop that she seldom leaves, only to go to nobles houses or parties (not often). After getting a vision about an air bender in danger, she makes the tough choice to leave her home and ensure this air bender (navi) is safe as she feels she can't say anything out of fear of the fire nation soldiers finding her. She is enjoying her freedom (though cries about the new living situation aka camping) more than she thought. She is a talented earth bender, but hasn't really practised openly until now. She is between her duty (return to her role) and her freedom (travel, be her own person, live for herself). She is my character and is in her mid 30's

Fenfang Wheat is an ex firenation general turned earth kingdom farmer after he realized the atrocities the fire nation was committing agains the rest of the world. With the fake name, Fenfang Wheat, and his life behind him, he went into hiding.... but not for long. His path collided with Chuhua and Navi when their fates intertwined in his village. Just as Chuhua found Navi, the girl in her dreams, fire nation soldiers began interogating/attacking the village on a hint that an air nomad was living there. Fenfang helped defend the two women, only to give himself away as a fire bender, and chaos ensued with the three getting away. Chuhua was ready to defend Navi with the little earth bending she knew, ready to duke it out with Fenfang before he explained he was trying to help. After proving his loyalties were no longer with the fire nation, he joined the two. He belongs to @haijynks and he's in his earlthy 40's!

Together the 3 of them have formed a pseudo family, often pretending Navi is their child as they travel through the earth kingdom, unsure of where to turn.

The three of them are extremely funny and so fun to play, we've only had 1 game but so much nonsense ensued, with people assuming Chuhua is older than she is (and she is then offended), Navi asking questions only a 13 year old would ask, and Fenfang ready with some sage advice

chuhua distracting firenation guards while fenfang sneaks out a prisoner and navi airbends herself out of a chimney

I wanna do more art of these knuckleheads but dunno what!