#what the shit why is posting this so scary
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I seen your posts asking for requests so maybe Pitbull!Rafe x clueless!reader, and by pitbull!Rafe I mean that in the sense of while Rafe can be pretty rough around the edges and rude to other people he's actually pretty sweet with reader and maybe you can include Readers friends asking why she's with him and asking if she needs help and she's just like "huh, what do you mean? He's the nicest guy I know". Maybe she also asks Rafe why'd her friends would get that impression :>
soft spot
rafe cameron had a reputation—a big one. practically everyone in town knew him as the guy you didn’t want to mess with. rough, sharp-tongued, and downright intimidating, he was the kind of guy who could silence a room with just one look.
but to you? he was a completely different person.
you were sitting at the café with your friends, happily sipping on your iced coffee when one of them, sarah, leaned across the table. her expression was full of concern, like she was about to deliver some groundbreaking news.
“so… are you okay?” she asked, her voice low like she didn’t want to be overheard.
you blinked at her, confused. “uh, yeah? why wouldn’t i be?”
“because of rafe,” your other friend, tasha, chimed in, glancing around nervously like he might show up at any second. “he’s so… intense.”
you frowned, tilting your head. “intense? what do you mean?”
sarah sighed, giving you a look like you were being purposefully obtuse. “come on, y/n. we’ve seen him around town. he’s always scowling, yelling at people, getting into fights. we’re just worried about you, that’s all. if you ever feel like you need help—”
“help?” you cut her off, genuinely baffled. “why would i need help? rafe’s the sweetest guy i know.”
tasha raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. “sweet? rafe cameron? are we talking about the same guy?”
you couldn’t help but laugh. “yes, we are! you guys don’t know him like i do. he’s not like that with me.”
your friends exchanged skeptical glances, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it because your phone buzzed with a text from rafe:
“outside, princess.”
you smiled at the screen, grabbed your bag, and stood up. “i’ll see you guys later!” you chirped, waving at your friends as you left.
outside, rafe was leaning against his truck, arms crossed over his chest. his usual scowl softened the second he saw you.
“hey, baby,” he said, his voice low and warm as he opened the passenger door for you.
you grinned up at him. “hey.”
once you were inside, rafe slid into the driver’s seat and turned to you, his hand immediately finding its place on your thigh. “your friends giving you shit again?” he asked, his brow furrowing slightly.
you shrugged. “not really. they’re just… confused about you.”
“confused?” he echoed, his tone sharp.
“they don’t understand how sweet you are,” you said, turning to face him fully.
rafe snorted, shaking his head. “sweet, huh? that what you tell ’em?”
“it’s the truth,” you said matter-of-factly, leaning closer. “they think you’re scary.”
“well, good,” he muttered, his jaw tightening for a moment. “they should. keeps idiots away from you.”
you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips. “you’re impossible.”
rafe’s hand slid up from your thigh to cup your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “yeah, but you love me anyway.”
before you could respond, he leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was slow but deep, full of the kind of tenderness that only you ever got to see. his other hand found your waist, pulling you closer as if he couldn’t stand the idea of any distance between you.
your fingers tangled in his hair, and you sighed against his lips, completely lost in him. when he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and his blue eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race.
“let ’em think what they want, princess,” he murmured. “as long as you know the truth.”
“i do,” you whispered, your voice soft but certain.
rafe smiled, a rare, genuine smile that made your chest ache. he pressed one last kiss to your forehead before starting the truck, his hand never leaving your thigh as he drove off.
hii, this is my first request hope you like it 🩷🩷
#daddy k!nk#submisive and breedable#outer banks imagine#rafe cameron x reader#daddy's good girl#rafe cameron blurb#outer banks fanfiction#corruption kink#request
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#i think i might be demi and hypersexual#like demiromantic and demisexual#and also maybe hypersexual#what the shit why is posting this so scary#because im PROBABLY not it's just like#normal teenage boy libido#and it's not causing any obvious problems#but then again nothing has until i absolutely break because all i do is hide it#so#i dont fucking know#why am i writing this in the tags#i guess it's a little less scary in the tags
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Being even more cringe than usual
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Featuring my friends drawing of Joel, who I’m pretty sure they don’t even know, @dustystripe is the friend
#fanart#hermitblr#hermitcraft#geminitay#smallishbeans#hermits#god I’m getting cringer by the day#mcyt fanart#mcyt#mcytblr#hermitcraft season 10#idk why I made gem a lion fish but I just think they look cool#plus I mean they’re pretty scary so it fits or whatever#Joel is a tanuki because I asked my friend out of context if I should do shrek ears or tanuki#what do people even tag stuff#ugh#posting for different fandoms is so annoying because I have to learn the tags#be prepared for my next 20 posts to be hermitcraft#I’m sorry to my booster gold heads#joel smallishbeans#do they have a duo name or some shit#aughhhh#and are duo names even different than ship names? I’m unclear on that#bilby art tag#artists on tumblr
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somebody made a siffrin dms skin and im having the time of my life in here
#in stars and time#isat#rain world#?#idont knowwwww#isat siffrin#i dont like posting doodles usually but fuck it some of these are cute#ignore the scary ass rivulet in the corner i really didnt know what to put there and i was playing in rivs campaign so i figured why not#i dont know why this pup was so obsessed with stealing my fruits but she loved it#that quarter pip did some shit to her#my art
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They should invent a way to chase your dreams that isn’t utterly terrifying
#writeblr#writing#writer#writing community#I’m posting this on here bc it relates to me chasing my author dreams#why is this is so fucking terrifying#I hope it gets easier#like I made a writer ig#and I’m like oh god im gonna have to PROMO this when I’m done?!?!?#I’m so scared lmaosksjdjfjf#what if no one gets it:(#what if no one cares!!!!#what if I write all this for nothing!!!!#I almost gave up on my wip last night too bc I have been in the trenches#scary shit
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is there a way to get out of that cycle? i dont know whats right to do, keeping my feelings to myself will only lead to exploding at some point and hurt me, but sharing what i feel or think about pieces of media while not wanting to hear differing opinions- and being rly emotional affected by them and unable to ignore it alot of the time.... but also wanting to connect and not feel this lonely all the time ....... but then my opinions being dead set will lead me to being mean and feel guilty for it, doubting myself (what if I AM wrong after all) so if i cant handle that i should just keep it to myself- and im back at the start
"be yourself" can i???? should i???? myself can be mean! i can be agressive! i can explode at people! unnecessarily so! i dont want that!! i feel so guilty and embarassed! wanting to connect only with the people that feel the same as you is a silly and stupid want that will never work and yet i keep trying it anyway!! its all so contradictory!! it only pushes people away bc i can be so unpredictable and mean and yet i am unable to shut up!! i dont know what to do!! i feel guilty for it all constantly!!! i hate it!!!
#ganondoodles talks#personal#i feel like im nearing a breakdown and i dont know why!!!!!!! i keep feeling like this!!! right on the edge of emotions i dont get!! why!!#why am i like this!!!!!!!!!#my only way to talk to people and all i do is be a little shit bc i am so dead set on my stupid game opinions#in the end its right! its just a game!#i dont know what to do#keeping to yourself? bad!#talking about game but not wanting the opposite opinion? stupid bad!#writing it where no one will see? doesnt work! bad!#being mean to people? bad!#ignoring? cant! bad!#deleting post to avoid more comments? feel guilty! bad!#delete post after replying meanly to someone? weird and bad!#by deleting post good comments gone! bad! guilty!#do something else? dont know anything! bad!#go meet freinds? dont have any! bad!#find some? dont know how! am weird! scary! bad!#all bad!!#too much feel! bad!#wish i could just turn off the 'emotion' switch#and just turn into an art maschine that never says anythign stupid and just 'works'
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this is basically unprompted but man i love steven universe future so much. like. its my comfort show. i watch it when im super super upset
which may sound a little funny cause like, its so not soft and sweet. steven goes through so much fucked up shit and theres so much secondhand embarassment
but thats kinda the point
i relate to steven in future, i see myself in him
so even though he goes through all these fucked up things, and he hurts those he loves and cares about, or tries hurting others who he... doesnt hate but he doesnt really love either (the diamonds cough)
in the end, everyone just wants him to be okay. they love him unconditionally, they see that all hes been doing has been crying out for help, and they want to give him that help even though theyre not really sure how
and in the end he gets a happy ending. everyone loves him and he loves them and they stay in touch forever, and he travels away to experience the world he never really got to before
and when i feel really upset for whatever reasons, thats just really nice. to see a character i relate to go through that. its cathartic. also i just love him anyway since i grew up with him, so i also love seeing him get the happy ending he needed.
#my post#steven universe#su#steven universe future#suf they could NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU#SUF HATERS FUCKING DNI#'he was so out of character why did they do that to him!!' did you even watch the fucking show#HE WAS TRAUMATIZED BRO DO YOU KNOW WHAT BEING TRAUMATIZED LOOKS LIKE#ITS NOT BEING A CUTESY UWU SHY LITTLE BEAN#ITS PAINFUL AND SCARY AND INTENSE AND MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOURE GOING FUCKING INSANE#AND HE WAS WRITTEN PERFECTLY AS A TRAUMATIZED CHARACTER.#i could rant so much.... the bitches that didnt understand shit but act like they did.... fuck outta here......
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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Beerus happens to be one of my favorite Dragonball characters and I fully ignore ANY of the dumb decisions the Super Anime made with his character at times.
#Out Of Ki | {OOC}#From The Heavens | {Mun Post}#Like I love that Beerus is a morally gray character; he's not a wholesome good guy but he's also not just a straight up evil bastard either#He does a job; it's not a pretty job but it's a job none the less that needs to be done#And that's why I adored his intro in Battle of Gods#Not just that but he had a personality; he could be goofy and silly but also be intimidating and scary af too when needed#And he could back up his shit talking too; wasn't just hot air#When he said he could FUCK you up easily that wasn't just him bragging; he literally CAN fuck you up#Like him admitting Whis could kick his ass even is just a matter of fact; it's why Whis is his attendant...to keep him in check#So yeah; I was not fond of what the anime 'added'#Especially the part with the Saiyans and Frieza#I know the manga sticks closer to keeping Beerus more or less how he is in the movies and such#And while the manga has it's problems...the anime seems to make them amplifies those problems or add new ones that the manga avoided#But yeah; hate what they do to Beerus sometimes in the anime...#I love my funky cat god man and forever upset at Super anime for how they portray him = =;;;#ALSO ALSO will forever remember in Xenoverse how he basically cackled when the villains tried to corrupt him and he just shrugged it off#Bitch was like 'cute but no' XD
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
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[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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#manectric#i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk#but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric#el woowoo‚ if you will#a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day#so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday#hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years#looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow#which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations#for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA#plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory#overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me#so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little#worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY#this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains#that's about it#any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar#places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it#also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking#about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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Bumbling idiot plays bloodborne
Why are they all British I’m scared
#toast posting#gaming#bloodborne#dawg#i have no clue what im doing#ts is so scary#WHY IS THERE A FURRY CHASING ME#AND BRITISH PEOPLE???#shits pants cutely
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just found out that one of my followers that was HEAVILY interacting with my account and even dming me is 12 years old! 12 FUCKING YEARS OLD! kill me 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗☺️☺️
#🔪 - mello talks too much#i’m disgusted.#i don’t want to be mean bc she is a child#BUT WHAT THE TUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU#WHEN I WAS 12 I WAS SMARTER TAHN THIS SHIT#she made up a fake story on why she had to block me so i went on my secret account and looked up her account#and her navigation post says she is 12#i can’t even explain to u guys how i feel#(i had a feeling she was lying tbh so i tried not to interact with her too heavily)#but what the fuck.#she made up a whole story about her life#the internet is a scary place#i don’t trust anyone on tumblr anymore 😭😭😭😭#i can’t explain to u guys how traumatized i am
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trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.
vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍
#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags 👍#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering#like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse#im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. “i cant spare the energy to vett things”#other people are fucking dying and im over here like “noo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwed”#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking#Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those “hold in there dont kill yourselves” posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone#on this site said something along the lines of “ok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselves” and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk#cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause “i dont know how” and “i dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anything” so#im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right#im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#“oh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(” ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you#get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something#its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a#job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause “the world is scary and jobs are hard :(”#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway “unable” to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going “nooo i should just kill myself instead”#vent post
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Traditional art dump!!!
#art#shrews art#I just didn't know what to post so I decided#why not show the stuff I usually don't#I recently started doing croquis with sharpies and rapidograph to build my confidence and it's been so so so much fun#kinda scary too tho since I can't really change anything I pit down on paper#nearly filled my current sketchbook can't wait to start a new one :D#today I'll finally draw some fanart too!!!!#I've been super excited for it but this last semester feels like it's beating the shit out of me dkdhdkshdkdh#oh I'm also excited to catch up on fanfics hehehe#the writing on the one in the middle is from a poem by Osip Madelstam it's called Tristia!!! it's very special to me
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