#what the hell's going on with the travis' tweets like.

[lovvelorrn]

twitter swifties are the most vile, horrible and despicable people i've ever met

[shitswiftiessay]

so taylor has put out another hit piece against joe (who’s surprised)

after buying winning the TIME person of the year award 2023, and having a gushing puff piece that’s supposed to paint her as this trailblazer for women and feminist icon…

she made sure to dedicate a significant portion of it to talking about her boyfriends. 🙄

so here are the cringeworthy excerpts where she’s talking about her latest victim boyfriend.

“Football is awesome, it turns out. I’ve been missing out my whole life.”

I love how she single handedly debunked the claim that swifties have been making, that taylor ALWAYS loved football and was a huge eagle fan (just bc she had an eagles shirt). now it’s basically confirmed that this football shit is just taylor’s newest PERSONALITY that she’s gonna wear for a few months, until she gets bored of it, and then she’ll throw travis under the bus and she’ll start siccing her fans against him.

“This all started when Travis very adorably put me on blast on his podcast, which I thought was metal as hell.”

god, someone bring me a BARF BUCKET please. 🪣 🤮 and since when is it “adorable” for a guy to PUT YOU ON BLAST because you wouldn’t go out with him or take his number?? that’s… very weird. i’m sure she wouldn’t find it “adorable” if she wasn’t interested in the guy. but anyway, i’m pretty sure she just saw an opportunity here and she took it. she can’t handle being single for more than a month, she needed a new man to make people forget about her matty healy era. and she’s LOVING the good press she’s getting for being “America’s royal couple” as her fans are calling them. but does she actually LOVE HIM? that, I remain yet to be convinced about.

and I love this part. “We would never be psychotic enough to hard-launch a first date.”

yeah, taylor’s not CRAZY you guys, it’s not like she said “I love you” to matty healy on stage back in may before breaking up with him 2 weeks later. nah. it’s not like she immediately bought a house next to her teenage boyfriend connor kennedy who was STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL when she started dating him. nah. that would be CRAZY. PSYCHOTIC even!!

and here comes the part where she starts passive aggressively smearing joe and we all know she’s on a smear campaign against joe now but it’s kind of pathetic that even while winning PERSON OF THE YEAR she has to make it about that.

so taylor obviously has a lot to say about her new relationship, and how proud they are of each other. but you know what I DON’T hear her saying? “I’m in love” or “I’m happy with him.”

and personally, i think that speaks volumes. if she was truly HAPPY with her new man she wouldn’t be doing all this shit. if you were around when taylor broke up with calvin and then immediately started hard-launching hiddleswift, taking pap photo after pap photo and being extremely “happy” she was and meeting his mom and all that shit…. and if you don’t see the parallels between what she’s doing NOW with travis, you’re either a blind fan or just flat out stupid.

because at least when she started dating joe she actually left her exes alone (at least for a little while), she was like “I forget their names now.” and you can tell she was happy without having to make a big show of it- “nobody’s heard from me for months, I’m doing better than I ever was.”

but now she’s acting like it’s the worst thing ever that she was “locking herself in her house for a lot of years,” and she KNOWS that her fans are going to take that and blame joe for it.

JUST LOOK at the quotes and replies of this tweet and this tweet to see how those insane fucking swifties are acting over this. EVERYTHING she does now is an incitement against joe and she knows it, it’s deliberate, it’s calculated.

and i guess she’s gotta bury him while she continues hanging out with a sexual abuse apologist so she can look like she has some kind of moral high ground.

also, the way she’s trying to erase the fact that 11 of the 15 songs on reputation were LOVE SONGS about joe, not “a goth-punk moment of female rage at being gaslit by an entire social structure.”

this woman is just narcissistic and straight up DELUSIONAL at this point. she’s so far up her own ass it’s nauseating. but i really hope that she keeps on talking. because the more she talks, the more people realise what a narcissistic clown she is. 🤡

[daisychains111]

incorrect chb camper quotes but it's actually just my sister's quotebook from Twitter

Disclaimer: This post is gonna be LONG AF

Percy: "Ahh, die quieter"

Clarisse to Silena: "Do I look majestic?"

Will: "I live in America. Cultures?... casserole"

Nico: "At-home lobotomy"

Baby Nico to Clarisse: "You look like Harry Potter, You just need a scar black hair, different clothes, and to be a boy. "

Annabeth:"I don't know if I have enough sanity for 2 Holy books"

Leo: "I've seen titties before....not really in person, but yk"

Annabeth: "Do you have ears?"

Jason: "I kinda wanna work at Taco Bell"

Piper: "I've never been passive-aggressive in my life"

Will to Apollo: "There's no batteries in my butt Dad I'm not a robot"

Clarisse: "I'm not upset I don't hold grudges"

Ares to Clarisse: "I don't like your clothes it forces me to look at you"

Frank to Leo: "It's not 'drip' it's stupid"

Travis to the whole Hermes Cabin: "I'm the Rizzington bear... like Paddington bear but Rizz" (after his 1st date with Katie)

Nico: "I love Olive Garden, I wish Italians were real"

Rachel: "Come on, you guys stop trying to cockblock the view"

Katie: "If people can smoke weed in the middle of the day, then I can drink chamomile tea"

Rachel: "You don't want to piss me off I'm witewally a werewolf"

Piper about Jason: "All my friends are boys, and one just died... he would have made a great bridesmaid"

Frank: "I was doing a silly but the funny didn’t land"

Jason: "Why am I white"

Rachel: "I am not a whore, I am a celibate queen!"

Drew: "It's not the fashion statement that you think it is"

Nico about the Ares Cabin: "They're gonna call you a slur, but they're gonna be really nice about it"

Piper to Annabeth: "If we both think it, it's not bitchy"

Grover: "I'm just gonna write a paragraph or two about global warming"

Annabeth"I have like a 7th-grade reading level!!! (this is impressive when you're dyslexic)

Jason: "Dude I love yoga"

Will: "They say that Utah is the promise land"

Kayla: *explains what a text-fic is to grandparents (Apollo)*

Clarisse: "Put that on your Twitter!" *points knife at me*

Travis: "Do you eat?"

Katie: "...um yes?"

Travis: "Oh, I mean do you want to eat." (when he asked Katie out the first time)

Hazel: "That's not gonna change my heart. That's just gonna make me cry!"

Alabaster: "I wanna find someone somewhere to impregnate and then steal the baby......Where's your Twitter, that was kinda funny"

Percy about Leo: "I would spoon that man so hard"

Frank: "The closer I get to nature, the closer I get to being a werewolf"

Apollo: "I feel like Jaba the Hut"

Rachel: "It's because you ate girl dinner"

Apollo (same convo^)"I fell asleep, and I woke up, and I ate a girl dinner, and I didn't feel that good"

Percy: Don't mind me just cleaning the ocean" *hand angrily on hip*

Will to the Stolls: "Although my bellybutton was once my mouth I don't want soda in it!!"

Connor: "Look at how majestic I am"

Clarisse: *gasps* *throws uno cards* "This is communism at its finest, and I hate your life." *Is losing* "All I'm doing is humoring you now. There is no reason for me to play anymore." *throws cards* *again*

Nico: *passes out*

Will: "We need to take you to the doctor like right now."

Nico: "No fireworks are more important than my health"

Leo about Percy: "That's a pretty boy right there... if we were in prison, it's over."

Kayla when Will came out to her: "Slay motherfucker"

Annabeth: "I hope to not run over any old ladies...old men are fair game tho."

Percy: "Main characters get bullied, Jesus....yep!"

Leo: "What if I was an astronaut!!!!"

Travis: "Banana, Banana, Meatball"

Clarisse: "I am going to break your toe shut the hell up"

Katie to Connor: "I hope you get bullied in high school."

Clarisse about Leo: "This guy's a fuckin goober"

Clarisse: "What did you do to your sweatshirt? Did you get hungry?"-Grover: *sighs*

Nyssa (Hephaestus kid) to Leo: "Dont hurt me. I'm Batman!.... You better not tweet that"

Kayla to Apollo: "It's called multi-tasking Apollo! "

Apollo: "It's mother to you"

Clarisse: "I could fight God and win"

Percy: "So you wanna fight rn"

Clarisse: "No, I'm good"

Jason; "You look gang"

Leo: "What? I look gay!?!?!"

Jason: "You look straight, but nice"

Leo: "Oh... thanks!"

Apollo to Rachel"Lie, deny, cry, and for good measure be a raging slut."

Silena: "There's all kinds of nature out here"

Katie: "Live, laugh, love, low iron"

Annabeth to Piper: "Keep backing up...Cuz you have a fear of commitment

Lou Ellen to Katie: "Does your knee affect your shoe size... or are your feet just that small??"

Travis: "The amount of testosterone in me, peanuts are allergic to me!"

Leo: "I'm cracked up on feeling sexy"

Connor to the whole Hermes Cabin: "The "10" of us? our parents sp*rm pets"

Apollo about Athena: "OH gods, a single mom"

Apollo about Kayla's dad: "I cheated on myself with a man"

Malcolm about Athena: "She's a mom boogie woogie woogie"

Nico: "I cried at Chick-fil-A the other day"

Nico: "Live, laugh, lobotomy."

Drew about Thalia: "She has no friends and a dead brother."

Katie: "I wrote fanfiction on my i-pod touch"

Lacy to Leo: "Was it a tech? or was it a human?"

Will: "Live, laugh, love, tampons"

Kayla: "Die, cry, hate, condoms"

Aphrodite to Clarisse: "Do you like being a girl? You just always wear pants"

Percy: "Chill I know how to make conversations I have Rizz"

Will: "What! no! cow!"

Frank: "Fvcking knock it off seriously you guys are acting like children!!"

Travis to Lou Ellen: "Yesss pussy-pop you slayed"

Ashlyn (Hermes kid): "Chick-fil-A is mid, Taco bell is where it's at"

Percy during tlt: "You couldn't even buy a gumball with that shit (drachmas)"

Percy (same convo ^): "A quarter? You could buy a gumball with that shit"

Nico: "Your soul and your money!"

Tyson: "You've seen fishes, fishes move fast"

Leo to Frank: "What the fvck is a kilometer"

Leo making fun of Frank: "Mua ha ha ha I'm Canadian"

Percy: "Jesus didn't give up his life he gave up his weekend"

*as seen at 2am in the Apollo Cabin*

Gracie: "You're discriminating against me"

April (the token straight): "It's cuz she's gay"

Will: "We're all gay."

Nico: You don't have any slurs about you."

Leo: "No because I'm perfect"

this was fun to make lol....there will probably be a part 2 but like far in the future. if you made it this far I love you....also if you don't recognize names it's bc I deep-dived Wiki to find canon names for each cabin.

If y'all want one-shots based on these TELL ME I NEED STUFF TO WRITE ABOUT

[notoriousbeb]

Lighthouse Keeper Tweets

And now, the post literally no one asked for. The Lighthouse Keeper's tweets from March 29, 2023, through July 2, 2024, supplemented with my own Haylor notes.

Note 1: I’m not in the business of convincing people LK is HS. Read this though. Look at his feed and decide for yourself. :) I’m here to speculate and have a good time.

Note 2: I skipped a handful of minor tweets I felt were not related to the overall LK narrative or unremarkable. (Examples: LK tweeted "Ciao!" on July 22, the date of HS's last LOT show in Italy, and a little running gag on April 1; he also likes to post about cake on HS's birthday and Christmas wishes, etc.)

Part 1: March 2023 - October 2023

March 29, 2023 - "I'm in my lighthouse keeper era." "Did I do it? Am I cool and trendy now?" 12:15 p.m. CT

April 1, 2023 "I actually really dislike lighthouses... don't know why I chose this life..." 3:55 a.m. CT

Taylor is about to play Arlington, Texas, later that day. (I think Harry is there. Here's why.) Seems like perhaps someone thought it would be funny to take his phone and tweet from it...

April 1, 2023 "April fools of course!!!! I love Lighthouses and I love keeping them!!!" 5:06 a.m. CT

April 2, 2023 "It's been a hell of a year..." 3:00 a.m. CT

April 6, 2023 "You'll be good, my love." 12 p.m. ET (NYC)

LK mentions in his replies to this one that he's drank half a bottle of rosé. Splitting it with someone, perhaps?

April 12, 2023 "Homeward bound forever."

Tone of this tweet seems bittersweet to me. H spotted in LA this day on work pit stop in between final European leg of LOT. After this, Taylor starts to fall apart on stage.

April 22, 2023 “If you really knew me, would you really want me?” 2:39 pm PST

Despondent, right? As if they left things on not great terms?

April 26, 2023 “Time cast a spell on you, but you won’t forget me.”

Fleetwood Mac “Silver Spring” lyrics.

May 6, 2023 “I hate to feel the rain on my back as I watch you go from me.” 4:15 p.m. BST

Matty time has commenced. Harry is in London.

May 11, 2023 “You’ve got me counting down the days.”

Could be a reference to Wembley. Deux Moi reported Taylor chartered there and was spotted at the June 13 show.

May 19, 2023 “Welcome Home” 12 a.m. BST

Taylor plays Foxborough, just 18 miles away from Holiday House.

June 1, 2023 “Je t'aime, Je t'aime, Je t'aime!” 10:35 a.m. BST

“I love you, I love you, I love you” in French. On May 30, a photo of Harry walking outside Cartier is shared to gossip sites. Cartier is a French luxury brand. On May 31, Taylor begins wearing a very pricey 1980s vintage Cartier necklace.

June 20, 2023 “Our lonesome shadows toss and turn. Throw our doubts in the fire. We’ll watch them burn.” 12:06 a.m. BST

Does he want to to make it work. From his set selection it seemed like it. But then...

June 29, 2023 - Taylor records “Down Bad” and Harry and Taylor Russell go on their first papped outing to a museum. So, it all fell apart, clearly. Why?

July 11, 2023 “Fast car, alligator shoes” 3:45 p.m. BST

These are lyrics from I.N.V.U. Other lyrics include, “He rolls in with his roll neck and his Rolex/he’s mister MTV/he claims he’s cashing checks/and breaking necks/at least that’s what he wants you to think/…/he’s at the wheel while I’m trapped in the boot.”

This is the day of Travis’ first Eras show. This was posted before he even showed up. …Did H know beforehand that this relationship was all planned in advance? At least, the beginning? (Perhaps as way to cleanse the public's palate from Matty?)

July 18, 2023 “The sky and the stars” 12 a.m. BST

Taylor Russell’s birthday. Just to be a dick? Or unrelated because...

July 19, 2023 - Daylight MV no. 2 drops

July 20, 2023 “There’s been a load of compromising on the road to my horizon but I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me.” 10:10 p.m. BST

These are lyrics from “Rhinestone Cowboy.” Sounds like H’s fucking had it, to me. Other lyrics include, “Nice guys get washed away like snow in the rain.”

August 24, 2023 “Hide in the middle of the universe, where the hills are steep and complications low.” 10:10 p.m. BST

H went to TR’s play opening on 1989 TV’s announcement night. Tay continues to wear the Cartier necklace. H also goes to TR’s play again 8/28.

August 30, 2023 “Through the gaps of my curtains looking at the moon it’s like you’re here with me. It’s like you see it too.” 9:30 p.m. BST

"Pick You Up" leaks 8/31. Taylor posts Griff’s “Vertigo” on Instagram 9/5. "Try Honey" leaks 9/12.

Sept. 16, 2023 “What are we drinking tonight?” 9:10 p.m. BST

Comments in the replies that he’s drinking and probably needs water. Post 9/14 Travis talking about Taylor on his podcast.

Sept. 21, 2023 “And my whiskey sings the obituaries.” 12 a.m. BST

Sept. 30, 2023 “Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. It's getting hard to be someone, but it all works out. It doesn't matter much to me.” 9:30 p.m. BST

Lyrics from “Strawberry Fields Forever” by The Beatles.

Post TS’s first NFL game appearance.

Oct. 8, 2023 “So much for an early night” in Morse code 12:30 a.m. BST

Probably out with Tom and Tyler post recording. I hope.

Oct. 12, 2023 “Will you hold me dear and keep me warm? And I’ll shield us both from sorrow and the storm” 4:35 p.m. BST

Maybe he decides he and TR can keep each other company? That’s depressing.

Oct. 17, 2023 “You said ‘love is touching souls’ surely you touched mine ‘cause part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time.” 4:20 p.m. BST

Lyrics from Joni Mitchell’s “A Case of You.”

Oct. 19, 2023 “And the rattle of the red line cuts through like a knife. So, what do you say we try to live this life?” 11:30 p.m. BST

Sad sad saaaad.

Oct. 23, 2023 “Moon, tell me if I could send up my heart to you?” 8:30 p.m. BST

Mitski lyrics. Suffering. Pain.

Ahead to Part Two

[aphtwitterau]

(10) Pining and jealousy

"How you holding up?" Dante asked Travis, not looking at him while he spoke and instead looked ahead while they walked side by side.

The two best friends were walking on campus grounds, meeting up with Garroth and Laurance around one of the campus cafeterias. Dante, of course, was asking Travis how he was doing because currently, the white haired man was staring at his phone, looking at the tweet interactions between Zane and Blaze.

Travis groaned, continuing to stare at his screen, "what the hell is a douche-jar?" Travis furrowed his brows slightly, ".. I wish I could kiss his papercut better.."

With that, Dante grabbed his friends phone and shoved it in his own pocket, all the while rolling his eyes. Travis, in return, gasped at the sudden robbery of his device and looked at the blue eyed man with his mouth agape and an expression feigning offense.

Dante raised a brow at Travis, "just because Blaze and Zane are close, doesn't mean you have to be jealous of him."

"I'm not jealous, I just wish I had the same bond with my beloved husband too," Travis said, crossing his arms, pouting slightly.

"First, stop calling him your beloved or your husband or whatever," Dante narrowed his eyes at him before sighing, "second, that is what jealousy is."

Travis groaned loudly in annoyance before shoving his hands in his pockets. Dante shook his head, grabbed the other by the arm and they continued to walk towards the campus cafeteria. While nearing the entrance, Dante spotted a red head of hair while Travis kept his head down in exasperation.

"Oh, hey, Blaze," Dante greeted him with a cool smile, all the while giving Travis a 'warning' that the one stealing Zane's heart, as he would word it, is here. Travis looked up and widened his eyes slightly before smiling and waving at the werewolf.

Blaze, who was leaning against a wall on his phone, looked up and turned his attention towards the blue-haired and white-haired guys. "Bluey, Taco bell!— What's up, dudes," Blaze responded, loudly presenting the nicknames, oblivious to how Travis was speaking so enviously about him before.

Travis took the time to check out Blaze, taking in every physical detail on the red head. Is he Zane's type? Did Zane like guys who were more buff? Did he like werewolves? Travis was not ashamed to admit that Blaze is attractive, he would even go as far to call him hot; with the deep red hair and the different colored eyes and tanned skin. But would Zane go as far to call him hot? And side from physically, would Zane romantically like him in other aspects? Zane liked the quiet and he was more reserved; Blaze liked to be loud and went out frequently. Zane, although he denies it like no tomorrow, liked sweets and desserts; Blaze liked more protein and savory foods. Zane was snappy and witty; Blaze had his moments where he could playfully insult others, but he's more nice than Zane.

Could he, himself, even be Zane's type? Travis was confident enough to say that he was attractive; handsome, hot. Travis could even call himself a pretty boy. But could Zane think that too? If he did, that would make Travis' confidence skyrocket and send him to cloud nine. Internally, Travis groaned. Zane, Zane, Zane. His name just repeats in his head over and over. His brain practically chants the emo's name like a prayer.

"—waiting for him," Travis' thoughts were cut short, interrupted by Blaze's voice. Were they talking? Who is Blaze waiting for? He quickly glanced at Dante, sending an inaudible message through his eyes that he was not paying attention.

Dante glanced back before clearing his throat and awkwardly saying, ".. well, tell Daniel that Travis and I say hi, because like I said, we are meeting up with Garroth and Laurance," Dante said in a stiff voice while keeping a smile, "and you are waiting for Daniel.. because Zane is cooped up in his room, like always."

Travis had half a nerve to hit Dante upside the head for sounding so robotic and uncoordinated. Blaze, on the other hand, did not notice the gracelessness of his speech and nodded along, seemingly just happy to be there.

"Yeah, scarfy said something about not wanting to be outside because of the sun and then he told me to piss off." That made sense to Travis; the raven-haired man does wear all black layers and a mask. The sun would cook him alive. Besides, he remembers Garroth mentioning that Zane sunburns easily, which he personally thinks is adorable.

"But now when I get back to the dorm, I have to put a dollar in the douche-jar," Blaze said before rubbing his neck.

Before Dante could reply, assuming Travis did not want to do the talking, the white haired man quickly chimed in, "what's a douche-jar?" Blaze and Dante blinked at Travis' immediate reaction. Dante shook his head slightly while Blaze laughed before responding.

"It's a thing scarfy came up with," the werewolf explained, "whenever I say something stupid or inappropriate that he deems as 'douchey', I have to put a dollar in a jar! It's totally bogus!" The werewolf huffed.

Dante laughed at the explanation, "maybe I should get a douche-jar for Travis— Ow!" Dante exclaimed in pain after Travis punched his shoulder.

Travis scoffed playfully, "I do not need a douche-jar! if anyone needs one, it's you! Don't think I forgot about your 'Subway' tweet," he reminds the other in quotation marks.

"It was about Subway!"

Blaze watched the two best friends bicker, seemingly amused by the show. Smiling and laughing at their banter, observing as the two hit each other and shared petty insults. It went on for about another minute or two before Blaze interrupted the childish argument.

"Okay, well I think Danny is going to be here soon so I'm going to go, dudes," the red head stated before saying his goodbyes and waving them off.

Dante and Travis waved goodbye back and once Blaze was out of earshot, the green eyed man loudly groaned, catching Dante off guard. Dante furrowed his brows in concern and confusion as he looked at the other.

"Blaze is cool, am I lame?" Travis asked pitifully, "will my beloved ever like me back?" He shoved his face into his palms dramatically.

Dante rolled his eyes, a habit he had gotten into ever since Travis went on sprees about the emo cyclops. He lightly smacked Travis upside the head, "maybe try harder."

Travis raised his head, looking at Dante with a pout and furrowed brows. Dante sighed loudly and shook his head while smiling, "keep that head up high, champ," Dante said mockingly in his charismatic manner, "I'm sure Zane is dreaming about you right now, huh?"

"You don't get me!" Travis exclaimed before biting his tongue, "let's go, I'm hungry when I think about Zane."

"You always think about Zane."

"I'm always hungry."

[elettralightwood]

Moments from the email disaster that broke me in a million pieces ♡

“how could you possibly be stupid enough to get photographed? I swear to God—” Alex doesn’t even hear the last part of what she says, because his stomach has just dropped all the way down through the floor and into the fucking basements two floors below. “Fuck.”

Tinted windows, but he forgot about the fucking windshield.

Him whispering something in Henry’s ear while Henry smiles a soft, private smile.

Fucking shitting hell. He is so fucked. Henry is so fucked. And, Jesus Christ, his mother’s campaign is fucked, and his political career is fucked, and his ears are ringing, and he’s going to throw up.

God, Henry. All he can think about is Henry’s big blue eyes looking terrified, Henry’s breathing coming shallow and quick, locked in his bedroom in Kensington Palace and desperately alone, and his jaw locks up, something burning in the back of his throat.

On the second page, he sees them: printed and annotated excerpts of their emails. It begins with a line he’s read about a thousand times by now. Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams ... “Fuck!” he says a third time, spiking the newspaper at the floor. That one was his. It feels obscene to see it there.

When he reaches for an emotion to name, he finds he can’t pin one down, and something shudders inside him and shuts down completely.

“I am your mother. I was your mother before I was ever the president, and I’ll be your mother long after, to the day they put me in the ground and beyond this earth. You are my child. So, if you’re serious about this, I’ll back your play.”

“So,” she says. “Do you feel forever about him?” And there’s no room left to agonize over it, nothing left to do but say the thing he’s known all along. “Yeah,” he says, “I do.”

They all turn to look at him, and Alex feels a wave of something so much bigger than himself sweep over him. A sound escapes his throat uninvited, something that he barely even recognizes, and June has him first, then the rest of them, arms and arms and hands and hands, pulling him close and touching his face and moving him until he’s on the floor, thinking distantly that he’s having a panic attack, and that’s why he can’t breathe, but he’s just staring at the rug and he’s having a panic attack and knowing why his lungs won’t work doesn’t make them work again.

He sleeps in fits and starts, wakes up sweating, wakes up shivering. He dreams in short, fractured scenes that swell and fade erratically. He dreams of himself at war, in a muddy trench, love letter soaking red in his chest pocket. He dreams of a house in Travis County, doors locked, unwilling to let him in again. He dreams of a crown.

A tweet: lmaoooo wait look at page 22 of the emails alex is such a hoe. A tweet: OMFG DID YOU SEE somebody who went to uni with Henry posted some photos of him at a party and he is just like Profoundly Gay in them i’m screaming.

His mom has signed off on them going public with the truth, which is incredible, but there’s no reason to expect that from the crown. He could get marching orders to deny everything. He thinks he might grab Henry and run if it comes down to that.

Still, the cocky shithead part of him is slightly pleased to finally have a claim on Henry. Yep, the prince? Most eligible bachelor in the world? British accent, face like a Greek god, legs for days? Mine.

There are the flaws everyone’s allowed to see—his big mouth, his mercurial temper, his searing impulses —and then there’s this. It’s like how he only wears his glasses when nobody’s around: Nobody’s supposed to see how much he needs. He doesn’t care that people write about his sex life, real or imagined. He cares that they know, in his own private words, what’s pumping out of his heart.

And Henry. God, Henry. Those emails—those letters—were the one place Henry could say what he was really thinking. There’s nothing that wasn’t laid out in there: Henry being gay, Bea going to rehab, the queen tacitly keeping Henry in the closet. Alex hasn’t been a good Catholic in a long time, but he knows confession is a sacrament. They were supposed to stay safe.

“Hello?” It’s Henry’s voice, sweet and posh and shaky and confused, and relief knocks the wind out of him “Sweetheart.” He hears Henry’s exhale over the line. “Hi, love.”

“Philip broke a vase that belonged to Anne Boleyn, Gran ordered a communications lockdown, and Mum hasn’t spoken to anyone.”

“I won’t lie. Not about this. Not about you.” Alex’s eyelashes are wet. “I fucking love you.” “I love you too.”

“I’m coming. I’ll be there soon.” Henry exhales a wet, broken laugh. “Please, do hurry.”

[joesalw]

Your blog has been cracking me up so thank you for creating a space for us who don’t want to engage with the Swifties anymore (but can still point out their hypocrisy lol). I came on Tumblr a few years ago and was all about interacting with the fandom but it’s been so weird this year. People talking like they know Taylor, the blind defense of her, buying everything she puts out, I could go on. It just really turned me off. And then her doing everything so publicly now is not appealing to me to consume. I didn’t pay attention to her during 1989 and I am reminded why. She can do what she wants but it’s become less my thing. I hardly listen to her music now. I am a white woman in my 30s and a lot of the white feminism I see is disappointing. Of course dealing with mega fame makes growth more challenging but I feel like we are seeing a decline vs slow growth.

And I honestly don’t care about Travis. While his tweets showed how immature he was at that age and ignorant I’m sure he’s learned but also football culture is toxic as hell. He is not immune to that. The breeder comments recently were ick and he’s going to have to learn to live under a microscope being with Taylor. Maybe it’s real, maybe it isn’t but I’m trying to ignore it as much as possible.

Joe is easier to support bc well he doesn’t do much in public (and seems so much more mature) haha but his choices in roles have always been impressive to me and I can’t wait to see what he accomplishes in the next few years. I feel like Taylor held him back career wise and it will be exciting to see what roles he gets. I love Riz and can’t wait for Hamlet. Their take on the plot sounds really interesting. I also think his resilience to not engage with anything she is putting out in the public is truly impressive and pissing her off to no end. He is wise beyond his years and kind of surprised he was with her so long honestly.

You are very welcome to this fun space anon. Get things off your chest, it's therapeutic ❤️

And yes I think Joe can do things more freely now that he isn't associated with Swift. Her cults new obsession will be Travis, so hopefully they will leave Joe alone and focus on her new relationship instead. Plus Joe truly showed us how to deal stuff with maturity even when things seem so hard. I admire him even more after the breakup because of the personality he showed. It’s rare to find people like him these days. He really is a gem.

[kaijuposting]

The Pacific Rims that never were

Before Pacific Rim: Uprising as we know it was a thing, there were a number of sequel and spinoff ideas that never made it to production. Here are some that made it to the Internet:

A prequel cartoon Pacific Rim: Steel Warriors was going to be a two-season cartoon prequel series that would have expanded on the franchise's lore, featuring Mako Mori and a number of new characters. The wiki has a page on it here. I'm always a sucker for expanded lore, so I definitely think it's a bummer that this one didn't pan out. Also, making Mako Mori a major character in an entire series would've been rad.

Showing more of the other universe Guillermo del Toro was vague about it, but he expressed intentions of showing off the other universe. He ruled out "invading" the other world, so it doesn't seem he meant to have jaegers just go in and start attacking. Perhaps he meant to reveal more through more kaiju drifting. Perhaps he meant to have scenes featuring the aliens doing their thing. Or maybe it was something else. It is a mystery. I do know I'd have loved to get a better look at what was on the other side of the breach! More comics Guillermo del Toro intended for the Tales From Year Zero comics to continue, running up until the release of the second film. Alas, it was not to be.

A jaeger named Black Maria In 2015, Guillermo del Toro talked about plans for a Mexican jaeger named Black Maria, piloted by two convicts who'd been promised their freedom in return for piloting the jaeger. (I also can't help but notice that this sounds very much like Travis Beacham's plans for Matador Fury and its pilots.) Also, gotta love a name like Black Maria - it sounds all piratey. Was del Toro planning on a pirate-themed jaeger? Because that would have been awesome. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of kickass!

A jaeger cadet played by Maisie Williams On October 3rd, 2015, Guillermo del Toro tweeted his wishes to cast Maisie Williams as a jaeger pilot in the second Pacific Rim film. I'm not a Game of Thrones fan, but I did love Maisie Williams's character in Doctor Who, so I'd have loved to see this. I wonder who her character would have interacted with. Would she have been friends with Mako Mori? What would her co-pilot have been like, and would she have been played by Jenna Coleman? Alas we'll never know, but we can imagine! The destruction of San Francisco In late 2017, del Toro said that he planned for the second film to end up on the west coast and have San Francisco destroyed in a battle between kaiju and jaegers. Utterly demolishing the first city that had ever been attacked by a kaiju would be a brutal move, but I can picture it leading to some interesting questions - why do we fight when things are destroyed anyway? Is it a waste of time, or is gaining even just one more day with those we love worth it?

A techbro villain, a time travel plot twist, and more Mako Mori In late 2021, del Toro said that he'd planned for the villain of the second film to be "this tech guy that had invented basically sort of the internet 2.0." It would be revealed that he'd been getting all of his ideas from the Precursors, who would have been revealed to be humanity from the future. Del Toro also said that he'd intended Mako Mori to be one of the story's main characters.

I dunno about you, but I think a techbro villain who isn't actually inventing the shit he's taking credit for is a great idea. I also think the reveal that the "Precursors" are actually humans from the future is excellent on a philosophical level, because it forces us to confront that fact that what we often like to think of as "alien" is really just humanity at its worst. Also, more Mako Mori? Hell yeah! I'm sure there's more articles and interviews out there that talk about plans that never materialized, and hopefully I'll come across them - or maybe some of you know of them? If so, please feel free to add on with them. :D

[ballplayersxo]

Here’s my lil ting no one asked for on Kayla and Travis.

I don’t think Kayla was naive for thinking Travis was gonna take her down the aisle considering he was so hell bent on dating her. They’ve both shared the same story about how he pursued her for a year, stalked her, and than was crazy about her all throughout their relationship. She was gracious enough to give him a lil date after she was feeling bored. She broke up with him every single time they ended and he somehow managed (he was begging) to get her back.

Kayla was and is still followed by the majority of his family on social media. Most importantly his mother, who referred to her a daughter in law as a cute nickname. His mother tolerates Taylor Swift; it’s midwestern politeness but anyone from the here knows Mama Kelce isn’t too fond. His mother, btw, who thought it would be Kayla to give her the first grandchild NOT Ky. Speaking of Ky, although Ky is down to earth/tomboyish and Kayla is a princess through and through they loved each other and spent time outside sports together. Kayla would babysit Trav’s nieces who referred to her as ‘Aunty Kayla’. Also, for what it’s worth, Trav was paying for 90% of everything. I don’t know who the hell started that 50/50 cheap rumor because he was paying her rent/mortgage, buying luxury cars, her apartment, her condo, their vacations, dinners, and her designer.

Is Travis going to marry Taylor Swift? No. Are T and T a pr relationship? Surprisingly, no, but they will do paid gigs together. Are both Taylor and Travis extreme money hungry attention whores who are currently having the time of their lives? Yes and yes. Are Travis and Kayla going to get back together in far future? Unfortunately, yes.

They’re still sharing dogs as if the canines were children in a divorce. So, even if we don’t see them communicate, just know at least every 2-3 weeks they see one another. Kayla still has a place in Kansas City.

** I apologize for the essay I wrote, when I started i thought it was going to be a lil paragraph.**

hmm it always seemed as though travis was leading her on. didn’t travis’ dad mention that travis told him that he knew after a year kayla wasn’t the one? and why would travis joke that kayla would never get a ring? and the cheap rumours came from kayla complaining about how other girls could afford designer while she mentioned she was shopping at zara. then travis tweeted that she was independent so that was all a disgrace. yk little things like that make me question his motives. all of this was talked about in the lipstick alley thread according to my source (my sister who stays in there 😭) so idk how much i believe that he really wanted her. idk man

[hide-in-imagination]

What do you think abt taylor swift dating travis kelce and people hating on joe now

Oh my fucking god, I could not give less of a fuck about her dating that guy. I mean, they'd been dating for like what? One week? AND PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET ARE INSANE. Like, I think it's not so bad here in Tumblr, but in TWITTER??? PEOPLE ARE ALREADY CALLING THEM ENDGAME. I'VE SEEN SWIFTIES COMPARE THEM TO RYAN REYNOLDS AND BLAKE LIVELY. MY SISTERS IN CHRIST, THEY JUST STARTED DATING!! CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!! I swear to god I don't know what the hell happened to their brains. Taylor goes to ONE GAME and they're already saying they'll get married !!!! GO TO THERAPY, TOUCH SOME GRASS!!!

Like, sure, you can think they're cute or whatever, that's fine, but to get this invested ??? I swear to god, if I see one more tweet about how "OMG THEY'RE MEANT TO BE" I'm gonna shoot myself in front of them and completely alter the trajectory of their lives.

And don't even get me STARTED on the posts that compare them to Taylor and Joe. They're all like "Look how Travis walks PROUDLY with Taylor in public!! Joe Alwyn was ridiculous!!!" My sweet summer child, Joe was never ashamed of dating Taylor, he just wanted a more private relationship and Taylor agreed!!! She said so MANY TIMES !!! These girls for real be acting like he kept her locked in a basement or something. Did they just magically forget all the songs Taylor wrote about Joe? About how she felt he saved her by running away with her? Taylor was literally at the lowest point of her life and she didn't want to be seen, she didn't want to give the paparazzi anything, and Joe gave her that. Joe helped her a lot, so people acting like he was ashamed of her is so annoying. Sure, eventually the relationship went south and yes, I do believe that Taylor started craving to go out more and show herself more and Joe didn't want that. I'm sure they had many disagreements like that over what they wanted for their lives and their future, and that's why they broke up. Those things happen. Unless Taylor eventually releases songs in which she says he was a monster in disguise and it took her 6 years to realize it (which I doubt will happen), people need to stop hating on Joe Alwyn. I mean, the man didn't want to get married-- Does he deserve to be crucified for that? No. Move on.

Honestly, I feel like a lot of these people just collectively turned 12. It's the only explanation. I mean, you shouldn't get invested in a relationship between real people to begin with, but especially if the couple just started to get to know each other. That's just... strange.

[waterparksdrama]

ok now do Greatest Hits

took me a while, sorry anon but i needed to be in a certain mood for it and i'm more willing to listen to this in full even if it's long.

greatest hits - as far as intro songs go i think this is a good one. i like the vocal effects and the way it builds into this stormy atmosphere before going quiet again. 8/10

fuzzy - FUCK YEAH FUZZY WOOOOOOO!!!!! this song is so chewy i don't know how to explain it. the song is about awsten's sleepless nights/sleep paralysis/nightmares but in a really fun way and there's no annoying lyrics here i literally cannot complain about this song the bassline is godly. 10/10

lowkey as hell - and from that hype we are brought back down. i was kinda meh about this song when this came out and i'm still like kinda meh about it lol. it's very much a waterparks song (big rock chorus, lyrics complaining about something stupid that no one else would really) but nothing that really makes it stands out. i think the lyrical sentiment of trying to be there for someone whether it be fans or friends despite your own problems is sweet though i will admit. 6/10

numb - when this first came out i was like "this just sounds like a fandom b side" and what do you know i was close enough. good song to hype up to live i will admit it's a lot better like that than studio recorded. another fucking song complaining how fans only like him when he's sad and more lyrics that were tweets he put in a song for some reason. which. eye roll. c'mon man. 6/10

violet! - i like the transition from numb to this it's fun. a more pop oriented song with it's 80s pop like guitars in the beginning before evolving into this sparkly chorus. lyrically it's about a supposed stalker fan awsten had and with some of these exaggerated lyrics it's hard to tell how real that is, but his own mindset on the situation is clearer than that. i like it. it's fun and tells a story regardless. 7/10

snow globe - when this came out i was listening to a lot of classical piano so i really dug the intro because it reminded me of this piece called la campanella. i like the cold atmosphere it builds with the heavy autotune and desolate synths. lyrically, this follows awsten's self doubts and experience living as a public figure, how he simultaneously experiences loneliness while thousands people know him (loose term) from his music to his online posts. one time i used one of those online mashup sites to create a mashup between this and frou frou foxes in midsummer fires by cocateau twins and it was godly. 7/10 but the remix i got for it gets 8/10 bc shoegaze.

just kidding - cmon man. a song about feeling like shit, what else is there to say. the song chronicles awsten's mental struggles of feeling hated with a touch of implications of using someone as a distraction from this while being passive aggressive to them at the same time. sonically, it rides a sort of chill emo rap wave you might hear as background music to a lofi anime beats youtube if awsten wasn't singing specifically during the chorus where this annoying vocal effect sort of sounds like it's mocking his own words (which i guess is the point? but still). the song is more annoying than sympathetic for me and i don't understand why de'wayne and travis rallied for this song so hard. 4/10

the secret life of me - okay we're back to decent songs again. the sparkly guitars and drums remind me of a classic sonic game soundtrack. the song follows awsten's disassociation after just kidding, where instead of being caught in throes of reality, he gets caught in a maladaptive daydream of better things. i do that too so i can't really bitch here. 8/10

american graffiti - titled after a george lucas movie that was made to "appeal to the mainstream", it's a song about becoming a spectacle of fan interest and dealing with those expectation (believe me you don't have to tell me the irony of me reviewing any of this rn). awsten said this song was supposed to be a "pop punk but make it good" sort of thing so essentially they just made a neck deep song. the song reprises and seems to twist the lyrics from lowkey as hell ("if you need me, i'm here now") showing how that while it is good he can be so accessible, he's so accessible to the point that it's kind of meaningless to the general public. 8/10

you'd be paranoid too (if everyone you knew was out to get you) - wow another self reference. who would've thought. it's another fucking song about anxiety and living as a public figure and at this point in the album when it's so long and repeated so much it's kinda just like "do you have other things to complain about or..." sonically it feels kinda basic with it's rock anthem feel. there's a weird dichotomy between the suicidal lyrics and the ones that try to be lighthearted and it's just. well it's a song. 5/10

fruit roll ups - i like the transition. not much i can say about other parts of this song. was the autotune always this grating. anyways this song follows awsten trying to use random shit he bought as an excuse for someone to try seeing him. instrumentally, it's a lot better but oh my god these vocals and lyrics. i'm not even that convinced he even likes this person that much. also i've had band nerds tell me the song is actually in 6/8 time which makes awsten's statement at the beginning a lie. 4/10

LIKE IT - you guys know how much i love horrible music (i help run a waterparks blog after all) so when i heard this i was like "oh my god this is like modern the blue poptarts, my favorite terrible band." everything down to the rapping feels like a refined version of "it ain't easy being gangsta". again, it's another complaining song, but i think it works better than the other ones because it's not as tonally jarring and gets away with being bitchy by being so ridiculous instrumentally. i feel like he's like one line away from saying that old "cruisin down the street in my tight jeans" line (i learned that was an eazy e interpolation a couple years back isn't that weird). 8/10

gladiator (interlude) - i like the instrumental i don't like josh madden because he's another shill in the madden family and also one time someone said he looked like a thumb so now when i hear this i just think of that. either way his rambling about gladiators as an allegory for working in entertainment becomes very relevant to the next song 6/10

magnetic - the genius page may have rejected my annotations to this song but just remember i am always right. linked to gladiator, this song deals with awsten's internal battle between his public persona and his personal life, which bleed into each other and gets him lost in everything and nothing with things he hates. i love this song i can't lie. not only is this a pretty good lyrically, the electronic tinged guitars are so addictive and crunchy in all the right ways. god and the ending??? god it's so good. 9/10

crying over it all - a love song to someone that doesn't exist lol. a sweet song to someone that's supposed to stay behind once the band is gone and awsten exists outside of that. i really like zeph's backing vocals in this it really adds to this dreamy fantasy the song tries to build. 7/10

ice bath - the sister interlude to the intro title track. a song using the intro vocals and "wakes up" back into reality and awsten gets caught back into his materialism to cope with his mental struggles. 6/10

see you in the future - a song that essentially a chaotic ramble of awsten's life at that point that for the most part settles on focusing on the future (for better or for worse). a lot of these lyrics are probably just tweets awsten never sent amongst the random shit and attempts at insight in his life. it's. certainly a song but i can't lie the drums at the end are so primal and larger than life i remember screaming so hard when otto was doing that live. 6/10

in conclusion, a lot of this album is complaining about the same thing (i mean what waterparks album isn't that at it's core really), but it makes up for its (usually lyrical) faults in some songs with its out of this world, chaotic production. it is still a solid 3/5 stars in my book and this relisten made me realize it's been so long since i overplayed magnetic that i can enjoy it again so thanks for that sort of anon. greatest hits more like greatest shits *ba dum tss*

-iz

[sirtravisjacksonoftexas]

I Rebuke Your “Refutation”: My Response to Justin the Zoroastrian

When I post anti-Jesus mythicist arguments online, sometimes I receive backlash from…well, Jesus Mythicists. Many will try to argue around the facts, while others will make stuff up, some do both.

Justin Tehmton Haubrich, aka Justin the Zoroastrian, is one such individual.

 I mentioned him in a previous article titled “Did Judaism and Christianity borrow from Zoroastrianism?  Um, NO, and Mughal War Elephants will show you why.”. I mentioned how, on a previous Twitter thread (that went over the same material), he wrote the following in reply:

““Jesus was visited by Zoroastrian priests, the magi. In the apocryphal Syriac infancy Gospel it is written that Zoroaster prophesied the birth of Jesus. #FactsMatter: The concept of heaven and hell, final resurrection, the devil, angels and demons, etc. all originate from Zism.”

I responded, but the tweet thread broke, becoming out of order. I do have 12 replies, which I numbered in order to show a level of order, but it’s a little irritating to read them in proper order when they are all over the place. I eventually turned the information in that broken thread into an article and posting it on Tumblr, which is far better at writing long articles than Twitter. I thought that was the end of it.

I was wrong.

Justin discovered my article on Tumblr and then wrote one of his own called “A Refutation of an anti-Zoroastrian Evangelical”. What follows was a lot of words…and no list of sources, all in the attempt to refute someone who he claims is a “spasticated brainwashed evangelical” (eye roll moment). It…does nothing of the sort, but it is a great testimony to the fact that fiction can be fun. I will be posting a link to his article in my sources section, but for now, I’m going to post what he wrote in piecemeal and dice it up.

 Major debunking ahead!

 Let’s post the first part of his article:

“A few years ago I was browsing Twitter when I stumbled upon a thread written by a pseudo-intellectual evangelical Christian apologist from Texas by the name of Sir Travis Jackson. In this thread, the evangelical was attacking Zoroastrianism, my ancestral Iranian religion.

 As an advocate and defender of the ancient Zoroastrian faith, I didn't hesitate to get into a theological debate with him.

 During the debate, I so thoroughly wrecked him, that he deleted the thread and retreated from Twitter to Tumblr so he could continue the debate without me.”

 Well, for starters, I didn’t delete the thread. My 12 replies are still on it. The thread was broken, and some tweets were probably lost, but you can still go and see the replies yourself:

 https://twitter.com/travisdon1981/status/1180258590269071366 

Along with this, I didn’t retreat from Twitter to Tumblr: I have both a Twitter page (which has over 9000 followers) and a Tumblr page. I simply chose to write articles on Tumblr due to it being far better to write articles on it than Twitter (which requires hordes of tweets to accomplish. With Tumblr, you only need to post once).

Plus, if he did quote unquote “demolish me”, then why didn’t he reply to any of the twelve tweets I posted in reply to him (watch him reply to them after this article is up in order to save face. If he does, check the time of his replies).

Now, let’s see what he wrote next:

“He was seething so hard that he had to go on to Tumblr and write a 3,000 word barely coherent polemical rant to refute the Zoroastrian influence on Judaism and Christianity, where he mentions me by name in the first few paragraphs. I didn't even know about it until today. You can read it here: https://www.tumblr.com/sirtravisjacksonoftexas/627024203052433408/did-judaism-and-christianity-borrow-from

Seething? Barely coherent polemical rant? Sure, and I have some beach front property in Nevada that I’d like to sell him.

Next:

“In order for this spasticated brainwashed evangelical to cope with the insecurity that he was feeling towards his beliefs, he had to jump through some very impressive mental gymnastics to refute my views. He should get a gold medal for that.

 I have lived in Oklahoma my whole life so I have dealt with my fair share of Iranophobic anti-Zoroastrian evangelicals like him in the past. The evangelical christians are well-known for their bigotry, ignorance, judgemental intolerance, hostility, political extremism, incoherency, hypocrisy, and insular close-mindedness towards people of other faiths and ways of life. I have experienced it time and time again. It is a reputation they have thoroughly earned.”

Nice Ad Hominems, slander and projections. For someone whose accusing me of bigotry, he’s definitely acting as such when it comes to evangelical Christians. 

Hmmm...

Next:

“The Zoroastrian community, on the other hand, has earned a reputation of being honest, egalitarian, philanthropic, kind, joyous, charitable, industrious, entreprenuerial, and resilient in the face of adversity. The Zoroastrians have maintained their faith and tradition for thousands of years, surviving countless invasions and genocides from various bloodthirsty armies, and have made contributions to the fields of philosophy, science, literature, art, architecture, and jurisprudence. The ancient Zoroastrians literally invented Human Rights under King Cyrus. They are also well known for their rich cultural traditions such as Nowruz and their interfaith cooperation and positive relations with other religious communities. They also gave the world Freddy Mercury.

 If you don't believe me, just ask the Hindus what they think of us. They love us. And we love them.”

Oh, so Christians have never been honest, egalitarian, philanthropic, kind, joyous, charitable, industrious, entrepreneurial, and resilient in the face of adversity? Christians haven’t maintained our faith and traditions for thousands of years? We didn’t survive countless persecutions, invasions and genocides? Christians haven’t made contributions to the fields of Philosophy, science, literature, art, architecture, jurisprudence, etc? Keep in mind, Christianity has been an evangelical religion since the beginning (Matthew 28:19). Oh, and prove that the Zoroastrians invented human rights.

Oh, that’s right, no source.

Oh, and we gave the world Elvis.

Next:

“Anyways, here is my refutation to Sir Travis Jackson's refutation:

 The argument presented in Travis Jackson's article against the fact that Judaism and Christianity borrowed from Zoroastrianism is weak and lacks evidence.”

Really? Please provide that in a sources list.

Oh, sorry, you haven’t (watch him edit his article and add a sources list later. Hence why the printscreen button is so awesome! Indeed, these are screenshots of his article:

Next:

“The article argues that the Wise Men or Magi who visited Jesus were astrologers and not Zoroastrian priests. However, the term "Magi" was used specifically to describe Zoroastrian priests, and there is evidence that they were known to travel beyond Persia to conduct religious ceremonies.”

You obviously didn’t read the article. Words change meaning over time. Used to be the case that “Magi” only applied to an ancient Persian religious caste. However, the term got so intermingled with the concept of astrology that by the first century BC, the term could mean simply “fortune teller” or those who promoted esoteric cults in the Mediterranean region (keep in mind, the Persians didn’t rule the Mediterranean region: the Romans did, and they also ruled Israel at the time). True, the Wise Men or “Magi” came from the east, but the East was regarded in that time period to have the best astrologers, and the East wasn’t only populated by Zoroastrians. The term, in the context of the Roman Empire at the time, simply meant an astrologer/fortune teller or promoter of arcane/esoteric cults. It could refer to people from multiple faiths (and I doubt anyone would argue that Zoroastrianism was a “esoteric cult” at the time. It was a major religion). Justin just ignored these facts and spouted falsehood. There is no evidence that they were Zoroastrian priests.

Next:

“Sir Travis Jackson argues that the Syrian Infancy Gospel is too late to be used as evidence that Zoroaster predicted Christ's birth. However, the fact that the text was written in the 6th century AD does not necessarily mean that it did not draw on earlier traditions. Moreover, the author ignores the fact that there are other sources that suggest a connection between Zoroastrianism and Christianity, such as the Acts of Thomas and the Clementine Recognitions.”

Nice appeal to Possibility Fallacy. You’d have a better case if you argued for the possibility of contemporaneous written documents about Christ’s death possibly existing (not long before others such as Thallus and Josephus wrote about him), but you’re talking about multiple centuries, dude. Also, oral traditions change over time. Even controlled oral traditions will alter after a hundred years. Even if there was an earlier ancient text that mentioned that Zoroaster predicted Jesus birth (no evidence for such), you’d have to prove that it was written before the New Testament (um, good luck). And as for his “Acts of Thomas” and “The Clementine Recognitions”, he’s shifted the buck: notice, he doesn’t say that these ancient texts state that Zoroaster predicted Christ’s birth: he just says that they suggest a connection between Zoroastrianism and Christianity. What connection? Why doesn’t he post an academic link to a credible university or one that has a link to these texts to show this?

Very deceptive.

Plus, the Acts of Thomas was written in the 3rd century AD, while the Clementine Recognitions were written during the 4rth century AD, still too late to have had an influence on the Gospels (and once again, no evidence that they were derived from oral traditions or texts that predate the New Testament).

Next:

“Travis argues that the Jews did not borrow the concepts of heaven and hell, angels and demons, the devil, and the final resurrection from Zoroastrianism because these concepts were already present in pre-Zoroastrian Iranian religion. However, this argument overlooks the fact that Zoroastrianism played a key role in shaping the development of these concepts in Judaism and Christianity. For example, the Jewish concept of Satan was influenced by the Zoroastrian figure of Angra Mainyu, and the idea of a final judgment and resurrection was taken from the Zoroastrian concept known as Fareshokereti.”

Played a key role? Did the concept of Pazuzu and Kingu play a key role in developing the figure of Angra Mainyu? Did Seth? Plus, he’s ignoring the fact that countless cultures have a devil figure without having to borrow the idea from Zoroastrianism or other religions. Why couldn’t the ancient Hebrews’s Satan have been influenced by the Egyptian God Seth (Egypt was a closer neighbor than Persia for most of its history), or Kingu and Pazuzu? Why couldn’t they have come up with the concept on their own? Keep in mind, Kingu was a Babylonian demon, and while the Israelites were under the domain of the Persians for quite a while, they were before that under the dominion of Babylon.

Why favor Angra Mainyu over Kingu or Pazuzu or Seth?

Oh, and what source is he using?

Where is the sources list?

Next:

“While it is true that many cultures and religions had the idea of an afterlife, including a realm of demons or evil spirits, the concept of Heaven and Hell as a binary choice for souls after death is unique to Zoroastrianism. This is not just a general idea of an afterlife, but a specific concept that has similarities to the Christian and Jewish belief in an eternal reward or punishment. Additionally, there is evidence that Jewish and Christian ideas of Heaven and Hell developed after contact with Zoroastrianism, particularly during the Babylonian exile of the Jews in the 6th century BCE, where they would have been exposed to Zoroastrianism.”

You mean “Zoroastrianism was the first to invent the concept of Heaven and Hell as a binary choice for souls after death”, not that it is unique to Zoroastrianism. Indeed, the argument is flawed, considering that Christians are not going to spend eternity in Heaven: they will be in the New Jerusalem, a colossal city that will be found on a New earth, lowering from Heaven itself (Revelation 21-22). Plus, Justin doesn’t cite a source here (typical). Which makes sense, considering that the ancient Egyptians had a binary choice between Heaven and their version of Hell. The Norse Vikings likewise had the same idea. Along with this, as I showed in my article, just because a person or religion came up with a concept that a later person or religion attained ages later doesn’t = that the latter borrowed from the former, as I showed in my historical examples (Did the inventor of the modern battle tank derive his idea from war elephants or the DaVinci Tank?  Did Alfred Russel Wallace steal the idea of Evolution from Charles Darwin? Evidence, please). Along with this, whose to say that the Israelites weren’t exposed to Zoroastrianism until the exile? Persians didn’t travel to the Levant for trade? They never crossed the Tigris and Euphrates in caravans? Evidence, please.

Oh, that’s right; we only have your word.

“While it is true that other cultures had similar concepts of lesser spirits or gods, the idea of angels and demons as specific categories with distinct roles is again unique to Zoroastrianism.”

Prove it.

Oh, that’s right, no sources…

“In Zoroastrianism, there are good and evil spirits that are in constant conflict, which is similar to the Christian and Jewish ideas of angels and demons. While there may be similarities to other cultures, the specific concepts of angels and demons in Christianity and Judaism are likely influenced by Zoroastrianism.”

And the Viking gods and the evil Jotuns or Frost giants were in constant conflict as well. Did they derive their belief from Zoroastrians as well?

“While it is true that other cultures had similar concepts of a devil or evil deity, the specific concept of a single entity that is in constant conflict with God is again unique to Zoroastrianism. The concept of a fallen angel or Satan in Christianity and Judaism is likely influenced by Zoroastrianism, particularly given the similarities in the descriptions of the Christian devil Satan and the Zoroastrian devil Angra Mainyu.”

Tell that to Apophis, aka Apep, the mighty evil serpent that was thought to try and swallow RA and his barge every day (multiple gods had to help keep this from happening).

“Finally, the article argues that the concept of heaven and hell, angels and demons, the devil, and the final resurrection were not borrowed from Zoroastrianism because the ancient Iranians worshipped gods called "Daevas" that were later considered demons by Zoroaster. However, this argument does not negate the numerous historical occurences of Zoroastrianism making contact and exerting influence on Jewish and Christian beliefs through the Persian Empire, as there are similarities to be found between their religious texts.”

Um…wow, what a mischaracterization. I merely pointed out that the Zoroastrians borrowed from earlier religions. This is what Justin accuses Christians of, even though his faith has borrowed. Plus, I listed aspects of the pagan world which the Bible does indeed borrow from (Behemoth and Leviathan, Tartarus, etc), and showed that it ultimately didn’t matter that it derived elements from pagan origins: God can use whatever he wants to get our attention, and can repackage pagan concepts into monotheistic ones (temples existed before the Jewish Temple was ever built).

“Overall, while the article attempts to refute the claim that Judaism and Christianity borrowed from Zoroastrianism, it fails to provide convincing evidence to support its argument.”

Tell it to the multiple of sources that I posted at its end.

Sources that also appear below, along with several others:  

 Sources:

https://www.tumblr.com/sirtravisjacksonoftexas/627024203052433408/did-judaism-and-christianity-borrow-from

 "Archeological Study Bible" 946, 1560

 “IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament” by Craig S. Keener, 48, 728

 “The Wiley Blackwell Companion to Zoroastrianism” by Michael Stausberg, 464

 https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Wiley_Blackwell_Companion_to_Zoroast/cm_-CAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Syriac%2Binfancy%2Bgospel%2Bzoroaster%2BCentury%2BAD&pg=PA464&printsec=frontcover

 “The Apocryphal New Testament: A Collection of Apocryphal Christian Literature in an English Translation” Edited by J.K. Elliot, 100

 https://books.google.com/books?id=TXMcJPy1axAC&pg=PA100&dq=Arabic+Gospel+of+the+Infancy+Elliott&sig=J2qCmZX8U2VKEmZ2x02_QWPmiVc#v=onepage&q=Arabic%20Gospel%20of%20the%20Infancy%20Elliott&f=false

 https://coldcasechristianity.com/writings/why-shouldnt-we-trust-the-non-canonical-arabic-gospel-of-the-infancy-of-the-savior/

 https://coldcasechristianity.com/writings/why-shouldnt-we-trust-the-non-canonical-gospels-attributed-to-thomas/

 http://www.self.gutenberg.org/articles/eng/Syriac_Infancy_Gospel

 https://brill.com/view/journals/scri/14/1/article-p223_15.xml?language=en

 http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/infancythomas.html

 https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/gq8mxx/yazidi-gobekli-tepe-is-172

 “The Ultimate Encyclopedia of Mythology” by Arthur Cotterell and Rachel Storm”, 200, 208-09, 258, 262, 264-65, 271, 274, 292, 316-17, 360, 363, 386, 484-85

 https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/first-tank-produced

 “Titans and Olympians: Greek and Roman Myth” by Tony Allan and Sarah Maitland (Consultant: Dr. Michael Trapp), 34, 52-53, 108-11

 http://anthropology.msu.edu/anp455-fs14/2014/10/01/ancient-egyptian-hell/

 https://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-687-12-inventions-created-by-different-people-at-same-time/

 https://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-strangest-cases-simultaneous-invention/

 “War Elephants” by Konstantin Nossov (Illustrated by Peter Dennis), 14-17

 “Leonardo Da Vinci Renaissance Artist and Inventor” By Stephanie Kuligowski, 32

 https://www.google.com/books/edition/Leonardo_da_Vinci/n0Z_gY25Nm8C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Da+Vinci+Tank&pg=PA32&printsec=frontcover

 https://www.leonardodavinci.net/

 https://www.leonardodavinci.net/armouredcar.jsp

 “How to Fly a Horse: The Secret History of Creation, Invention, and Discovery” By Kevin Ashton, 51.

 https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/who-was-alfred-russel-wallace.html#:~:text=A%20life%2Dchanging%20friendship,Usk%20(now%20in%20Monmouthshire).&text=Bates%20introduced%20Wallace%20to%20the,the%20New%20World%20and%20Oceania.

 https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/what-darwin-didnt-know-45637001/

 “Ancient Discoveries: Ancient Tank Tech” documentary.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE-6ckpAq3g

 https://electricliterature.com/what-if-someone-else-writes-a-book-exactly-like-mine-before-i-get-a-chance/

 “Zondervan NIV Exhaustive Concordance: Second Edition” by Edward W. Goodrick and John R. Kohlenberger III, 519, 1076, 1083, 1454, 1488, 1584, 1596, 1604.

 “The New Strong’s Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible: Red Letter Edition” by James Strong, LL.D., S.T.D. and John R. Kohlenberger III, 397-98, 844-45, 852-53 of main concordance, 189 and 258-59 of Hebrew and Aramaic Dictionary, 205, 247 and 275 of Greek Dictionary of the New Testament.

 “Ancient Egyptian Netherworld Books” by John Coleman Darnell and Colleen Manassa Darnell, 8.

 https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Ancient_Egyptian_Netherworld_Books/eWV0DwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Ba+and+Ka+spirit+and+soul&pg=PA8&printsec=frontcover

 “The Way to Eternity: Egyptian Myth” by Fergus Fleming and Alan Lothian (Consultant: Dr Joann Fletcher), 138.

 http://anthropology.msu.edu/anp455-fs14/2014/10/01/ancient-egyptian-hell/

 http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/soul.htm

 http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/hell.htm

 https://www.ancient-origins.net/human-origins-religions/ancient-egyptian-soul-0012390

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMf1OKxT390&t=12s

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxGARM5cYKY&t=291s

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a56vrXRp2Nw

 “Spirits, Faeries, Leprechauns and Goblins: An Encyclopedia” by Carol Rose, 13-14, 291

 https://www.ancient-origins.net/ancient-places-africa/egyptian-demons-and-magic-exorcising-evil-spirits-008845

 “Epics of Early Civilization: Middle Eastern Myth” by Michael Kerrigan, Alan Lothian and Piers Vitebsky (Consultant: Jeremy Black), 24, 26, 41-42, 44, 46, 58, 93

 “Encyclopedia of Gods: Over 2,500 Deities of the World” by Michael Jordan, 260

 “Encyclopedia of Demons in World Religions and Cultures” by Theresa Bane, 157, 250

 https://www.google.com/books/edition/Encyclopedia_of_Demons_in_World_Religion/njDRfG6YVb8C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Hanbi%2Bgod%2Bdemons&pg=PA157&printsec=frontcover

 https://www.google.com/books/edition/Encyclopedia_of_Demons_in_World_Religion/njDRfG6YVb8C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Pazuzu%2Bencyclopedia%2Bdemons&pg=PA250&printsec=frontcover

 “University-Edition. A to Z. Akkadian-English Dictionary” Maximillien De Lafayette, 417

 https://www.theoi.com/Pontios/Iris.html

 https://www.britannica.com/topic/Iris-Greek-mythology

 https://www.ancient.eu/Ahriman/

 “Mother Earth, Father Sky: Native American Myth” by Tom Lowenstein and Piers Vitebsky (Consultants: Hugh Brodie and Alan Marshall), 80.

 “Charting the End Times: A Visual Guide to Understanding Bible Prophecy” By Tim LaHaye and Thomas Ice, 131-32

 https://www.ancient.eu/Jesus_Christ/

 https://www.britannica.com/topic/Magi

 “Encyclopedia of Imaginary and Mythical Places” by Theresa Bane, 77-78

 “Hinduism: An Alphabetical Guide” by Roshen Dalal, 274

    https://www.britannica.com/topic/Niflheim

 https://www.history.com/topics/religion/hinduism

 “Norris McWhirter’s Book of Historical Records” by Norris McWhirter, 40-42

 https://biblehub.com/2_peter/2-4.htm

 https://www.ancient.eu/article/701/ancient-mesopotamian-beliefs-in-the-afterlife/

 https://biblearchaeology.org/research/new-testament-era/4022-a-brief-history-of-the-septuagint

 “The Illustrated Atlas of Jewish Civilization: 4000 Years of History” by Josephine Bacon (Consultant Editor Martin Gilbert), 35-36.

 https://www.history.com/topics/ancient-history/pyramids-in-latin-america#:~:text=Some%2080%20years%20before%20the,the%20capital%20city%20of%20Cuzco.

 https://www.ancient.eu/Olmec_Civilization/

 https://www.history.com/topics/ancient-history/the-egyptian-pyramids#:~:text=The%20oldest%20known%20pyramid%20in,into%20something%20much%20more%20ambitious.

 https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1180258590269071366.html?refreshed=yes

 https://www.worldhistory.org/Apophis/

https://www.logicallyfallacious.com/logicalfallacies/Appeal-to-Possibility

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCp-ayAp7fE

 https://www.earlychristianwritings.com/clementinerecognitions.html

https://www.earlychristianwritings.com/actsthomas.html

https://www.tumblr.com/sirtravisjacksonoftexas/628382559793987584/was-jesus-a-mythical-figure-based-on-zarathustra

https://www2.cbn.com/news/entertainment/faith-elvis-presley-stepbrother-reveals-details-about-his-bible-habits

 And yes, here is his article:

 https://zoroastriancowboy.tumblr.com/post/713276355010330624/a-refutation-of-an-anti-zoroastrian-evangelical

[redphienix]

sometimes it's baffling what the "intended" reaction is to popular takes, I'm sorry.

Like someone will say something clearly trying to be funny and playing to humors of the time in a tweet from 2009 and it's off and aged poorly and all that jazz but it's not the worst shit you've ever seen, it's shit, but hell it's not worse than shit you've seen TODAY, and I'm supposed to go "Ooof, they are kinda shitty huh" when what you are doing is like twice as bad.

The example being provided is like a -1 on the scale and what you're doing by digging up 2009 tweets of someone who's otherwise just "a person" and framing it as them being shitty is Definitely a -2 at least.

Maybe relax.

Anyways to discredit myself this is about Travis mbmbam, someone I don't even care about, but I know they have like some mental struggles that they've been open about and ever since their "quirky" struggles were "a bit too cringe" and things like 2020 covid "cranked it up" too much for people, a lot of popular opinion has been to deride him whenever they get the chance and like.

dude, just chill. If you pointed at him being rude in a timely manner in a relevant space and left it at that (because of course we should hold people accountable to being a decent person or whatever) it'd be one thing but at this point people are like "I MUST find proof he's the shittiest person alive" and it's just fucking deranged. Who cares, why do you care, you do realize how this makes you look right

[sheepwasfound]

dnf moments caught from within the chaos (every single one)

 march 10th george alt stream

 ***

first video:

00:11:40-00:12:30 "is that george from dreamhunt?"

00:20:37-00:21:10 g:"me and dream argue about the stupidest things"

(many good sap/gogy sibling moments! and then...)

00:26:49 dream joins in secret and george tries to figure it out

00:27:26 dream gives himself away with a chuckle

00:27:55-00:29:00 "i was watching George's stream, i didn't even know you were streaming"

00:34:08-00:34:45 lil uk travel ban talk

00:36:46 g:"'late nights in the middle of june' this is true x2"

00:37:52-00:38:10 1.5 inches elephant still on george's desk

00:40:56-00:41:12 dream chuckling going "george is so salty"

00:49:04 dream hasn't paid george the $1,000 from geoguessr

00:49:50 dream tries to get george to play geoguessr

00:50:18-00:50:45 george tells dream about dreamhunt guy

00:53:37 d:"im on literally negative sleep"

00:55:57 g:"'tell dream you love him' no."

00:56:27-00:57:00 g:"'george you're the hottest piece of ass in dreamhunt' is that true dream?", d:"maybe it is" + "you're such an idiot"

00:57:14-00:57:54 dream tries to think of who in one direction each one of them are, can't choose for george

00:59:12 d:"he's like the most annoying person on the planet" (prob cus he can't focus on chess cus of gogy)

01:17:36 sapnap doesn't reply to george, dream replies immediately

01:19:26-01:19:40 + 01:21:56-01:22:50 talking about george exposing dream for the s*x tiktok

01:24:13 g:"ok i'm gonna go get water. dream, entertain my stream."

01:29:55-01:32:00 george and sapnap argue over servers, simp dream settles it w/ a "coin flip" (rigged)

01:33:40-01:34:50 sapnap waited for dream to wake up for burger day, s:"george wishes he coulda been a part of that"

01:36:12 d:"i was actually writing lyrics this morning"

01:40:37-01:42:12 stonks talk g:"what do i invest in?" d:"me"

(dreamnap moments interval here...)

01:50:14 s:"should i tweet out a picture of your girlfriend george?", d:"it's gonna be like a picture of my yt icon"

01:52:11-01:52:43 d:"'dnf arc'? yeah maybe", g:"is it a joke to you?"

01:52:57-01:53:11 sapnap and dream don't send george good morning texts & it upsets him

01:53:13-01:53:45 george didn't laugh at dream's joke, so dream calls him out for not paying attention

01:53:51 g:"'pretty privilege is real and you have it!' is this true dream?" d:"yeah. yeah"

01:54:13-01:54:55 sapnap accusing george of having a girlfriend, g:“dream, should we just tell them?”

01:59:30-01:59:50 g:“’can you say bleepbleep dream?’ no i can’t say that”, d:”just say it. george.”

02:02:00 g:“’is it true quackity and dream constantly fight for your love?’ it’s true”

02:02:10-02:03:00 d:”we were in our, like, linked arc. except for opposites …attract”

02:03:30 dream starts going through his texts with george

02:04:30 d:”my favorite number is…one second, i’m pulling up my george contact”

02:05:35-02:06:20 dream reads out their texts about waking up at the same time & having s*x

02:06:33-02:08:00 george’s “ayo muffin man” text to dream where he asked if he could make a joke about dream’s cheating drama, d:”you were being a good friend”

02:07:02 g:”we don’t text that much” d:”we text, like, everyday, but…”

02:08:36 first video ends

***

second video:

00:10:35 george shoots dnf on a wall, d:”you’re so dumb”, s:”what?”, d:”george”

00:14:30 g:”dream come baaaaackk”

00:16:22 dream in the bg laughing alone “this text is so funny! this text is amazing” (note: he started going through their texts, like, 20 mins ago)

00:17:25-00:17:58 george’s first text to dream: “hi loser”, sapnap asking about his first text, d:”that’s different”

00:20:38-00:21:00 s:”maybe if you were watching my stream instead of watching george’s all the time” + s:“maybe if you weren’t in your, like, dnf arc all the time”

00:22:40-00:23:15 g:“’george and dream’s brotherly relationship is so iconic’ brotherly?”, d:”someone in chat said ‘the alabama arc’”

00:26:05-00:26:30 pickle dick g:”dick-…dip his hands in the pickle jar”

00:27:05 d:”you’re an idiot george, you’re such a, you’re such a dick”

00:30:29-00:41:45 discussion about covid travel rules and george going to florida, george heatedly going through every possible trick to get there but dream being responsible about it

00:34:00 g:”dream, get me a private jet”

00:34:56 g:”i’ll just stay”, d:”for how long?”, g:”forever.”

00:36:13 gnf charity for private jet and then george will grapple down from a helicopter, d:”you’re such an idiot x2”

00:36:51 g:”i’m not actually joking” + g:”no it’s not impossible!” *checks cost of a private jet*

00:38:20 d:”you need to double it cus you have to go back” g:”i’m not going back. i’m not going back”

00:38:38 about deportation g:”dream, you can just protect me dream, just don’t let them take me away”

00:39:29 about deportation g:”then what if i never go back, what if i just never go back?”

00:40:01 g:”wait i have an idea dream. what if you just married me?” s:”you’re not allowed to marry someone to get them in the country”, g:”well that’s not the only reason”

00:41:13 g:”’sounds like dream doesn’t wanna meet you’ yeah he doesn’t”

00:43:43 g:”to be fair you are in your silly goose arc”, d:”i’m not in any goose arc” *mutual giggling*

00:44:45-00:45:25 discussion about obama escorting george on his private jet

00:47:38 dono:“you visiting dream is not a no, it’s a not yet”

00:50:21 g:”’just admit it, you’re madly in love with dream and you’re using this as an excuse to marry him’ no. this is false”, g:”i’m in my hating dream arc right now” d:”well, i mean … it’s about to be in a different arc though”

00:50:40 finishing each other’s sentences

00:50:50 s:”i wish karl was here.”, s:”at least i would have someone to be like, in love with, jesus”

00:51:29 d:”sapnap third wheel arc” s:”you guys may flirt and stuff, but me and you have physical s*x” d:”oh my goddd, what the hell?! that’s too far!”

00:54:43 sapnap teasing george about being able to cuddle dream, g:”i don’t care, i don’t care”

00:56:27 george teasing sapnap about having a gf again, s:”you have a dream”

00:56:43 g:”should i play geoguessr?” d:”oh, yes!”

00:57:07 d:”i’m exhausted and i’m laying in bed” (but he’s still staying)

(00:58:30 geoguessr starts, they’re tired and argue a lot)

01:00:48 arguing about colors g:”well you’re wrong” d:”maybe- actually maybe i think that’s- actually you’re right”

01:03:27 george was going to do geoguessr with wilbur today, but is too tired now

01:07:55 d:”if you had asked, i would’ve told you” g:”i didn’t wanna ask, i did it myself” *sassy*

01:13:55 george missed dream’s joke and he called him out for it again

01:17:00 g:”i’m not buying a maid dress” d:*silence*

01:20:10 g:“’dream we need your support to get george in a maid dress’ what do you think dream?”, d:*silence*

01:21:53 g:”you know what dream? i trust you”, d:”no, don’t trust me!”

01:22:50 dono:”when you asked dream if you should wear a maid dress, the silence was so loud” d:*silence*

01:23:23 after george makes a dumb voice d:”why are you reading like that?”, d:”i’m about to leave” (spoiler: he doesn’t leave, just stops looking for 30 secs)

01:24:10 g:”what do you mean you’re not even looking?”, g:”why, do you hate me?”, d:”you were being in your annoying arc”

01:34:28 dono:”do you have a song that makes you think of dream?”, d:”probably heat waves”, + george saying he doesn’t think of dream when listening to songs and dream not buying it

01:36:40 dream replying for him that george’s most listened to travis scott song is goosebumps (aka “their song”)

01:39:50 george confirms goosebumps is his most listened to travis scott song

01:42:26 d:”this is the last game im playing with you”, d:”cus i don’t wanna play with you anymore” (spoiler: it’s not the last one)

01:45:52 g:”alright one more”, d:”no i said i’d-…ok fine whatever one more” (spoiler: it’s not just one more)

01:48:46 dream mishears that george is gonna kiss him

01:54:24 g:”alright here’s the last game guys”, d:”you keep saying that, you keep…leading me on”

01:57:02 d:”that was the last one”, g:”no we said we were ending on a win” (no they didn’t) g:”you can’t leeeeeave, you can’t leave! it’s not allowed”

01:58:17 dono:”what is a place you’ve always wanted to go?”, g:”idk”, d:”america”

01:59:27 g:”i just, i was like…aaaaaghhhhlldududu you know?”, d:”yeah, i do know”

02:05:00 d:”alright, i’m gonna head out”, g:”wait, wait just wait”, g:”why are you in your like salty era?”, d:”why are you in your clingy era?”, d:”i think it would make sense if i left when i want to”, g:”alright, well, leave then, see what happens, you’re gonna regret it, that’s all i know”

02:05:30 dream leaves the call but then immediately starts watching george’s stream until he ends (who’s the one in their clingy era?)

02:06:10 george talks about going to bed (dream’s already in bed so they’re synced once again) 

[amplesalty]

Halloween 2022 - Day 14 - Tremors: Shrieker Island (2020)

Shrieker Island is actually a peninsula...

Well, here it is, we’ve most recent and perhaps final Tremors movie but we’ll get on to that. Michael Gross is back once more as Burt Gummer but, as mentioned during last year’s ‘A Cold Day in Hell’ viewing, his once long lost son is not here with him as Jamie Kennedy is sitting this one out. My quick research on the matter is coming up as inconclusive on exactly why that is, he did address this in a tweet at the time and even show off a draft script he had so that would suggest they had him in mind to reprise his role so maybe he jumped rather than being pushed. They don’t recast him but they do bring in what is a pretty much like for like replacement in Jon Heder who become’s Burt’s sidekick and even Travis’ mother is involved in this movie so it definitely seems like the character was meant to be here.  He doesn’t seem the type to be worried about artistic vision or that Travis has already achieved a character arc so there’s no point in playing him a third time. And I can’t imagine he’s got much else on that he’s going to turn down a pay cheque so presumably he priced himself out of the job?

They quickly hand wave away Travis’ absence by explaining that he’s in jail after trying to smuggle drugs over the Mexican border. Thinking about it, that would have been a much more interesting movie if it was about Burt trying to bust him out. Maybe involve the Graboids by having Burt use one to tunnel into the prison and then he and Travis have to team up to take it out after it escapes.

Travis’ replacement in Heder’s Jimmy feels like a regression to Travis when we were first introduced to him, needing to really step up, mature and find himself as the movie goes on. If anything, he’s a bit of an irritating character that I was expecting Kennedy to play when I first found out he was 5. He almost has this wide eyed amazement at the whole thing and keeps comparing the situation to every action movie under the sun with the likes of Rambo, Predator and Evil Dead name dropped.

At least they gave credit to Predator where it was due whilst they were mimicking it so much. A group of people in a jungle setting being hunted by something using infared vision? Hmmmm... There even seems to be a shout out to Jurrasic Park (or whichever sequel it was in) when someone gets jumped by a Shrieker that leaps in from off screen stage left ‘clever girl’ style.

All of this action takes place on someone’s private island, Bill who is played by Richard Brake. He seems to be one of Rob Zombie’s regular contributors after starring in Halloween II, 31, 3 From Hell and the recent Munsters remake. He doesn’t seem the type to be adapting a 1950’s TV sitcom to the big screen, unless he’s reimagining it so the Munsters are much closer to their movie monster inspirations and they just go on a killing spree. Expect that one day, it’s gonna be easier to jump in on that than try and get through 70 episodes of the TV show.

Anyway, Bill has the brilliant idea of profiting on all those trophy hunt type holidays you see talked about where city slicker types pay thousands to go hunt wild animals out on the plains. Only, this is some super next level apex predator shit as they’re hunting Graboids. And not just any Graboids, he’s genetically modified them to make them even smarter and harder to kill. As much as it does seem to be a reoccurring plot for people to want to capture a Graboid for some unexplained monetary gain, at least he actually has an end goal in mind even if his own hubris means there’s no way of containing it. He’s so supremely confident t hat they’ll be able to kill them all that there doesn’t seem to be any killswitch in place should things get out of control.

All this leads to a rescue call being sent out to Burt who’s living it up off the grid in Papa New Guinea, somewhere Jimmy is wary of going lest he get eaten by cannibals. Hey mister, Prince Phillip could get away with that sort of crack because he was royalty and he was of a different generation. You should know better. Burt does look like he’d be more suited to talking to a volleyball with a bloody handprint for a face than killing giant worms but one quick shave later and he’s ready to get to work.

Bill’s hubris does lead to him getting killed halfway through which leads us without a bad guy as such but I suppose the Graboids are pretty much meant to be the defacto heels of the piece anyway.

So much so that, SPOILER ALERT, in the big finale where Burt and Jimmy are trying to lead the last Graboid off a cliff where it will fall to it’s demise, Burt heroically shoves Jimmy out of harms way and gets gobbled up. In one last act of defiance, he gives the Graboid the finger, the middle finger...only, the way it’s shot makes it looks like he’s giving Jimmy the middle finger. Now, Burt has been eaten by a Graboid before so he might be okay...

Well, no. Probably not now...

And if this is the end, well I honestly can’t think of a more noble way for Burt to go than being beaten by the ultimate predator.

At least, we can only assume this is the end because Burt Gummer was the only thing keeping this whole series ticking along and this has all the hallmarks of it being his one last ride, from being effectively dragged out of retirement to having a warriors death on the field of battle. Michael Gross has hinted at another outing but one would imagine they’ve sort of written themselves into a corner here unless it turns out Burt is somehow miraculously alive despite being in the belly of a Graboid as it plummeted onto huge spikes and got blown to kingdom come. Plus, the dude is 75 at this point and isn’t going to be keeping up this pace forever.  Perhaps the most logical step for the series is for it to spend some time in hibernation before going the reboot route because there’s not really anywhere you can go in the core series at this point. Your most logical replacement for Burt was Travis but he’s seemingly on the outs now. Whilst Jimmy did show some more guts by the end of the movie, he doesn’t really seem like lead character material. But there’s no one else really left at this point, we had the passing of Fred Ward earlier this year so Earl’s out (though he was even older than Michael Gross anyway) so you’re either going entirely new character or the long awaited return of Kevin Bacon?

Still, the poignant ending of the surviving cast of characters leaving mementos at Burt’s grave does give a sense of closure to the whole series, even if it is a tragic one, rather than it just being left in limbo for an 8th movie that might never happen. And as the movie closes out to a montage of Burt’s greatest hits, that does feel a little bit like a more positive spin one could apply to this whole movie. But perhaps the more realistic summary would be that it’s yet another by the book Tremors sequel that does little to change the biology of it’s trademark monsters the way it’s earlier sequels did and hits the same story beats as it’s predecessors. That really is becoming a recurring point in this years marathon, perhaps aptly so given the overarching theme of nostalgia in this anniversary year.

But before we truly bring the curtain down on the Tremors franchise, we do have the unfinished business of looking at that early 2000’s TV series. After all, it is customary for me to tease it. Perhaps 2023 will finally see it come to this blog to act as Burt Gummer’s last hurrah...

[nochiquinn]

lovm watch party: [shakes the internet until season 2 falls out]

doing a watch party liveblog while I wait for my video files to load in, I figure it'll get about halfway done by the time I'm through

(update from the future: it got done shortly before I did, and I paused several times)

did. did they get fucking isekai'd.

what in the vtuber hell

SCANLAN VOICE OF SAM

I too panic about letters

"what the fuck...why god why..." these are appropriate responses

"I'll read some of the comments people are making" please don't

you know what, this is VOD, I can skip this. I'm gonna.

"we are so about to get banned"

"we were....on....a speed skating....team"

the way mica is apparently going to have to cut drastically away from grey

"you are in for three episodes of screaming that really disturbed my neighbors over the last couple of years"

"speaking of penises freezing off - matthew mercer"

matt stop saying entity

dsfjsk you can see the outline of the mocap hood thing on travis' face

"I thought you were dead"

I have to three-two-one go bc I was down with the consumption when it was live

"what if tonight is the night"

"I was the arrow!"

"she's fine"

see matt is saying what I've wanted since pandemic started

"yeah but she sucks"

"could you speak into the barrel please"

"I am not making any points about trauma from ptsd"

"'I hate that Percy's so pro-gun'" "oh baby, have you not been paying attention"

"I tortured you because I needed MONEY. SORRY."

"stop tweeting." "yeah I'm not checking my twitter"

"does it smell like cum and teslas in here"

"you're wounded - but still breathing!"

"I know a squirrel could take me" context

"I could fight a banana slug to a draw" I feel this

"what about a very angry mountain goat" "you're dead"

"season one - everyone hates on keyleth for no reason"

"I love you so much" and he said it three times just to be sure

"did you say VAX'S kids" "...it's canon now."

changes my twitter name to Conservative Butt Quota

"they're like furbies!" ".....CAN WE MAKE MATT AND TALIESIN FURBIES"

"and then they screech in the middle of the night" "and make out" "probably"

"delilah is azula all grown up. and in her lower register."

Everybody Hates Ripley

"the enemy of her enemy is also her enemy"

Dark Pissing Contest

"drink some water!!"

"if you don't have enough trauma in your real life, let me put it in your fake life"

"please torture my whiny little one-percenter"

"I had a stupid idea for make my friends scared of acid"

"you wanna parent your kids, put them in acid"

"you guys remember group recording sessions"

"first session back: all kigirumis"

"they don't tell me anything because I have the biggest mouth in central and north america"

wait what

that is my least favorite tinkerbell movie, don't make me go digging for the ONE matt mercer line

"somewhere liam o'brien's left eye is twitching"

"I'M BACK, BITCHES"

"they are they popular kids at the swinger party"

"what year is it" "mars"

"that is a ripley design, it is overcooked and useless"

"ripley has like fifteen failed kickstarters"

"they're the gomez and morticia of the worst timeline"

"but his dick doesn't work" "ehhhhh"

"it's like antidepressants: you're gonna be happy, but your dick doesn't work"

"this whole ritual is just to get his dick to work"

"who put this group together. who approved this."

"this could be dirtier. marisha could be here."

matt grey and taliesin are down here on the chaos couch and sam and travis are trying to actually talk about the show

"when keyleth gets punched she gets punched into the next state"

I really want booth video of taliesin and all the screaming

"grog's making snow angels"

matt is me during this whole sequence

travis is physically incapable of not hyping pike up

the closeup on matt who is clearly crying

someone hug him

"is it okay if we ask  you to yell really gut-wrenching" "am I a joke to you"

"I broke my amp for you"

that's the maximum amount of disney allowed on the stream

"you did that" "I'd do it again"

"the city lives as long as we live, taliesin" "that and a strong insurance policy"

"...and that's where we're gonna end tonight's session"

"doesn't feel good, does it MATT" "yeah it does"

awww the sun tree is pelor protecting ioun

"ahhh we need two more seconds of STUFF"

not the speaking in tongues

"I'm so glad to be away from my children for two hours" you know what I feel that

what do you mean "bugger fuck shit balls fuck" isn't tonally appropriate

"hopefully the cameras weren't on me" I have bad news for you sir

"what's a magic user supposed to do? punch?"

"in OUR series, because we're really anal about it..."

"we've lost him"

the POISON GARDEN

sam taking his jumpsuit off on camera

DAMN

"that traveled through time and hit me"

"google nothing"

"percy is one of the bitchiest character I've ever created"

"oh, travis is roleplaying"

taliesin's rapid blinking

"check a mirror why don't y - oh that's right you can't"

"I heard you're the life of the party but only at family gatherings" and taliesin leaves the sofa

"the last time you're ever gonna see me bc they're never gonna hire me again"

"I have to text my babysitter"

"I don't wanna go back to those people" "they're watching right now"

"can grey come over all the time"

"we dragged this out bc the animators insisted it's easier to animate someone who isn't breathing"

horses and breathing

I love that everyone's had the same reaction to the no intro

"fuck your bird"

sam said when they announced grey that they were gonna have to bleep so much shit, now I know what he meant

he makes that face EVERY TIME

"metaphor"

"I'm sorry, is your inability to move on from past trauma causing you to hurt those around you? is that what's happening? you basic-ass motherfucker?"

"just ate some peyote and got to the typewriter"

"is it bad that I wanna pet it like a puppy"

"no, trauma's easier"

the way they've all fallen absolutely silent just watching this

"I will never forgive you for this"

taliesin cringing into the sofa

"it's not like he got any healthier, now he just doesn't have a friend" "that was his therapist"

"I'm gonna stop taking my meds, I'm fine. I'm not gonna have a shame spiral." can we leave me alone

"he saw a buff man glistening and said 'I will fuck him'"

"this boy has no game"

"it's the best dumb cutaway ever"

"I made a barbarian named 'Grog', that's all I had"

"sun tree a-ok" that's all I wanted, ty matt

"emon. so beautiful. nothing can ever happen to it."

matt gushing over sunil

khary's brother helped grey with her preemie baby!!

"poorly concieved gender reveal party"

"that's a....motherfucker."

matt ur laugh

sam is so bad at not looking at chat

"will you tell us when you know?" "no"

"you didn't get to hurt me. I hurt myself."

smoke mask ref!!

"this is the playarts alternate figure"

"those innocent winged creatures on their normal migrational pattern"

travis calling liam and laura the twins

they don't know we're a necromancer and a vampire

YOU DID THIS

"go get them a glass of water" "water?!"

Hug Your Local Animator

they're never getting all of that out

"I've been mica burton, I won't be any longer"

I genuinely hope mica stays forever