#what the hell happened and how did i get here?

[byechristopher]

hellooo can you write a fic where reader and chris have a pregnancy scare?

what could be.

Author's note: thank you for the request, and sorry for being so late, pft. I hope you like it anon, here is an angsty/fluffy fic with Chris. Him and babies make me giddy fr. Don't copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: uhm, none. But y'all.. use protection always. Didn't proofread!

⠀

It started with a simple sentence, one that hung in the air like a grenade waiting to go off.

"My period’s a week late."

Chris froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. The casual dinner we were having, sitting on the couch like we always did, suddenly felt like something fragile, ready to shatter. His face went pale as he put his fork down, staring at me like he hadn’t quite understood what I’d just said.

"What?" His voice was flat, cold.

I shifted uncomfortably, already regretting saying anything. "I’m late, Chris. A week late."

He sat back, his eyes narrowing as if he could will this entire conversation out of existence. "Are you serious?"

I nodded. "I thought it was just stress at first, but…"

"Jesus Christ," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, the frustration already palpable. "How could this happen?"

The way he said it — like it was some personal failure, like this was my fault, made my blood run cold.

"Uhm, now I don't mean to break it to you.." I snapped, my voice rising defensively, "but we were both there, remember?"

"Yeah, well, you’re the one who keeps track of this stuff, right? Shouldn’t you have known?" His voice was sharp, accusatory, and it stung.

I stood up from the couch, the tension in my body rising like a tidal wave, "what the actual fuck are you even saying? You think I want this to be happening? You think this is something I wanted to deal with right now?"

Chris got up too, pacing in the small living room, his hands clenched at his sides, "no, I don’t know what the hell you want! All I know is, we’re not ready for this. We can’t be dealing with a fucking baby right now."

I felt the familiar lump forming in my throat, but I swallowed it down, refusing to let him see how much his words hurt. "Chris, we’re in this together, okay? Why are you acting like I did something wrong?"

"Because this is—" He stopped, running his hands over his face. "This changes everything, okay? Everything we’ve been working for. All our plans, all our.. us!"

"What, and a baby ruins all that?" I cut him off, my voice shaking with anger. "Is that what you think? That this would ruin everything?"

He didn’t answer right away, and the silence that followed was louder than any argument we’d ever had. He just stood there, staring at the floor, and I couldn’t tell if he was thinking or trying to come up with a way to end this conversation without making it worse.

Finally, he spoke, his voice low. "Yeah. I think it would."

I blinked, feeling like I’d been slapped. I could feel my heart racing, the adrenaline pushing through me, making me feel sick. "Wow," I whispered, stepping back like I needed space from him, like I couldn’t stand being near him right now. "That’s really how you fucking feel?"

He looked up, his face tight with frustration. "We’re not ready for this. You know that. You’ve got your career just starting to take off, I’m still figuring things out. It’s not the right time."

"You don’t get to decide that for both of us," I shot back, my voice cracking under the weight of the argument. "This is happening, whether you like it or not. What are you going to do if I am pregnant? Walk away?"

Chris’s eyes flashed with something—maybe guilt, maybe regret, I couldn’t tell. "I’m not walking away," he said through gritted teeth, "but I’m not going to pretend like I’m okay with this either."

I didn’t say anything else. I couldn’t. The hurt and anger tangled up inside me was too much, and if I opened my mouth again, I didn’t trust what would come out. Instead, I turned and walked out of the room, leaving him standing there, his silence chasing me as I went.

For the next day and a half, we barely spoke. Every interaction was charged, electric with the weight of what had been said and left unsaid. He slept on the couch that night, and I didn’t bother asking him to come back to bed. I wasn’t sure I wanted him there.

The test sat on the bathroom counter, waiting for me, taunting me with the unknown. I couldn’t bring myself to take it, not when things between us felt so raw, so fragile. But after another restless night of tossing and turning, I couldn’t take the uncertainty anymore. I had to know.

When I walked into the living room that morning, Chris was sitting on the couch, staring blankly at his phone. He looked up when I entered, and for a second, there was something in his eyes—regret, maybe. Or guilt. I couldn’t tell.

"I’m taking the test," I said, my voice flat.

He stood up, nodding stiffly. "I’ll come with you."

"Yeah, you don't fucking have to." I said, but he followed me either way.

We walked to the bathroom in silence, and I grabbed the box off the counter with shaking hands. Chris stood by the door, watching me, his expression unreadable. I couldn’t even look at him as I went through the motions, my stomach twisting into knots.

When it was done, we sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the result. The timer on my phone ticked down, each second stretching out longer than the last.

"I’ve been thinking," Chris said suddenly, his voice softer than it had been in days. I glanced at him, unsure of what to expect.

"About what?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "About everything. About what I said… how I reacted."

I remained silent.

He hesitated before continuing, "I was scared, okay? I still am. I’m terrified, actually. But… I’ve been thinking. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing."

I blinked, surprised. "What?"

He looked at me, his expression softer now, more open. "I’m not saying it’d be easy. But if you are pregnant, I mean… we’d figure it out, right? We’d get through it."

For the first time in days, I felt a tiny flicker of hope. "You really think so?"

He nodded, his gaze steady on mine. "Yeah. I don’t want to be that guy who just freaks out and runs away. If it happens, I want to be there for you. For both of you."

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, feeling some of the tension leave my shoulders. Maybe we’d been fighting, maybe we were scared, but hearing him say that made me feel like we could actually do this, if we had to.

"And if I really think about it.." he continued, his thumb on my cheek caressing the skin so gently, as if I was a porcelain doll, "the idea of having a little baby with you that looks just like their mom.. yeah, I think I'm fine with that." he teased with a little smile and that's all I needed to hear.

The timer went off, the sharp beep cutting through the air. We both froze, looking at each other.

"Do you want to…?" Chris asked, nodding toward the bathroom.

I shook my head. "You can look."

He stood up, walking over to the counter, his movements slow and hesitant. I watched him as he picked up the test, his face unreadable. For a moment, he just stared at it, not saying anything.

Finally, he looked up at me, his expression a mixture of relief and something else I couldn’t quite place. "It’s negative."

I let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. "Negative?"

He nodded, setting the test down and walking back over to me. "Yeah. You’re not pregnant."

Relief washed over me, but there was something else too. Something that felt almost like disappointment. I pushed it down, not wanting to think too much about it.

Chris sat down beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I’m sorry," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "For how I acted. I didn’t handle any of this well."

I leaned into him, closing my eyes as I let the warmth of his embrace chase away the last remnants of fear. "It’s okay," I murmured. "We’re okay."

"Is it crazy that I've started to warm up to the idea?" he whispered against my hair and even though I didn't want a baby, I still felt giddy hearing him say that.

"Your mood swings are acting up." I teased and buried my face into the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss there, "although.. so did I." I whispered.

[wstviewvidal]

goodbye- w. maximoff

pairing: fwb!wanda x reader

summary: wanda tries to mend what was broken

a/n: here is the last installment of my first story, breakfast birthday goodbye! thank you all so much for the support you’ve shown the first two parts as well as the hc’s! it means the world to meeeeeee i love u guys soooo much!

minors do not interact

wanda never meant for everything to go down the way it did. scratch that, she never wanted any of this to happen. the ignored calls, the short texts, you avoiding her at your group’s weekly dinner.

she didn’t want that at all, and it was eating at her insides knowing that you are out there somewhere thinking that she wanted nothing to do with you, that she wasn’t serious about you.

it was the exact opposite, actually. you never leave her mind and she often finds herself texting you with random updates throughout her day just so she can end up calling you and hearing about whatever you have to say.

but now it’s been a week since the party and you’ve yet to actually have a full conversation with her. you don’t text her, only replying to her with a short and simple response when she sends you a message first.

she’s lost countless hours of sleep and finds it hard to make herself eat normal meals. the bags under her eyes have darkened and she’s become a hollow shell of herself, one she can’t even recognize in the mirror. everyone’s noticed it too, and it’s getting hard to ignore.

wanda prides herself on her incredible work ethic and her ability to do her job well beyond expectations, but for the past week even her team at work has noticed that she’s been off her a-game.

wanda hasn’t slept, and you could tell. she’s avoided every every attempt to rest or eat. only throwing herself into her work, which was futile because in the back of her mind was you. the ache of losing you and know you were out there hating her.

it’s gotten to the point where her boss has offered her to take the rest of the week off to recuperate over whatever happened that pushed her down. bad thing is, wanda said no and now she’s stuck thinking about you at her desk.

she turned down the offer, ignoring how badly her body is begging her to take the rest. work is the only thing keeping her mind off of you— or at least trying to.

she can’t get the look on your face out of her mind. the look at showed everything. the way your body looks exhausted, as if it had been fighting. worst of all, she saw every ounce of hurt in your eyes— it confirmed everything.

the look in your eyes, the hurt in your voice, the way you avoided her for the rest of the night at the party.

that’s how she knew you loved her back. and that was meant to be your final act of love— leaving her.

but wanda wouldn’t accept that.

wanda thinks of her future often. how she wants to open up her own firm, how she wants to have a decent sized house— no more than twenty minutes away from the city, the amount of kids she wants to have, you, you, you.

in every different imaginable scenario she’s imagined for herself, in every different future she’s envisioned, you’re always there. there’s no version of herself she can imagine without you.

which is why she’s suddenly found herself outside of your house in the middle of a thunderstorm at 8 at night.

she knew this was inappropriate and a setup for failure but she couldn’t go another hour not at least trying. she’s gone too many days with her anxiety eating away at her.

she knew that you loved her— hell, you basically confessed it to her the night you were drunk in her car. it’s been so long since then and she’s had to watch you date other people despite having confessed your true feelings.

so, logically, wanda had to force herself to ignore the confession and start to date other people as well.

but wanda knew they could never be you. no matter how hard she tried to make herself like the other girls, she always wished it was you she was holding at night— not them

as wanda stood outside your gate, she couldn’t help but recall when she went to go see you at work after you broke up with a fling.

and unfortunately for wanda, this was after you confessed. she had to sit there and console your crying eyes all while knowing the both of you had reciprocating feelings for the other.

wanda parked her car a few spots away from the main entrance and fixed her appearance before grabbing the takeout food she had brought for the two of you to share.

she sat in her car for a few minutes, trying to focus on her breathing and calming the nerves in her body. trying to rehearse things to say to say to you in front of her mirror, she looks over her appearance and fixes her makeup slightly.

i mean, what is she supposed to say to the girl she’s in love with who just broke up with someone she was dating? yay, now let’s get together? no. wanda had to be a supportive friend— no matter how badly she ached for more.

getting out of her car, she slowly walks up to the main entrance. as she walks in, she’s hit with the familiar smell of the air freshener the company uses and it gives her a small boost of confidence.

stopping to say hi to natasha before going into your office, she greets her.

“hey nat,” wanda says softly while peering into natasha’s office.

both wanda and natasha were familiar with each other through you and had no issue having conversations without your company, they were comfortable with each other.

natasha looks up from her work and up to wanda, a slight surprised smile on her face. she had a feeling wanda would show up for you, just unsure of when.

“hey,” she replies, “she’s in her office. she could really use the pick me up.”

wanda nods in understanding, “i know, she’s been down recently. brought her some food in case she needed it.”

natasha smirks softly and whispers lowly, “if you’re going to continue being a girlfriend to her, you need to make it official before somebody else does.”

wanda freezes. did natasha know about you two? surely you wouldn’t tell her anything, but why else would she say that?

wanda gives an awkward chuckle and walks off in the direction of your office, replaying natasha’s words and how she had a knowing look on her face as she said that.

slowly peering into your office, she knocks softly, “hey, pretty girl”

looking away from your desktop, you see wanda dressed in your college t-shirt and a pair of jeans while holding a takeout box from one of your favorite restaurants.

your heart swoons at the pet name, as well as the smile on her face. this isn’t the first time wanda’s shown up to your job unannounced. in fact, she does this at least a few times out of the month.

she insisted that it was her biggest priority to make sure you were taken care of.

she walks over to your desk and gives you a small kiss on the forehead and a rub on the back.

“you feeling okay?” wanda’s voice is laced with concern and love. it filled your stomach with butterflies.

truth is, you were actually feeling content after the break up. you constantly felt a weight on your chest while you were in that relationship. really, you could hardly call it a relationship. it lasted less than a month and you were happy it was over.

everytime you two went out, you always thought about how wanda would be acting if if was her you went out with instead. no matter what, you always had her in the back of your mind and you felt guilty for it.

shrugging softly, you lean into wanda’s side, enjoying how she’s giving you this soft attention. you really should be honest with her and tell her you’re fine but the fact that she’s being so sweet and attentive, it really makes you want to play into this facade just so she can continue being sweet to you. wanda tightened her hold on you and cooed softly.

wanda knew though. normally when you’re down and out of it, you hardly ever do your makeup. the way you speak is a bit more dragged out, the way you even look at her is different when you’re down.

wanda knew you were okay the second she got close to you, but how could she pass up an opportunity like this to hold you? she would take any excuse to touch you and make you feel happy. she knew she was in love with you, has known it for quite some time now. however, acting on it is a whole other story.

“i got you some food,” wanda runs her fingers through your hair softly, “i want to make sure you eat.”

wanda watches you as you nod softly and look up at her with a happy look on your face. yeah, she’s in love with you. no doubt about it.

you can’t help but immediately let out a soft giggle as you see how she looks at you. you two have known each other for years and she never fails to make you feel cared for.

what would it be like if you two stopped dancing around your feelings for each other?

wanda pulls out the food and you can’t help but swoon all over again. wanda knew your order, down to what you want put on the side instead of in the dish, even the sauces and other condiments. no one has ever known you like this.

the two of you ate for the next hour and a half. you asked her how work was going, her brother, what she’s doing for the holidays. the rest of the world ceased to exist for that hour and a half, and it didn’t feel like a lunch break. it felt like something you could get used to doing at home together.

the two of you existed in each others presence for that lunch break. maybe that was when you realized you truly were in love with her. or maybe it was an accumulation of things, but after that day you knew for a fact that wanda could be the one for you.

wanda walked slowly to your front door, her feet feeling heavy. she could hear her heartbeat, she could feel the blood moving around in her body. hell, she swears she can even feel her white blood cells. for the first time since she’s known you, she was terrified of speaking to you.

the rain soaked through her clothes and clung to her body. her usual soft brown hair was now black and matted with all of the rain water in it. she was freezing, but she didn’t care. each drop that fell onto her body only served as a reminder of all the things she’d never said to you.

every instinct in her was telling her to turn around and bolt, to run and not look back.

but the rational side of her told her that it was now or never. this was her last chance. if she ran, she’d never see you again.

she knew that the longer you two went without talking, the more likely it is that you’ll shut down and block out every memory with wanda from your mind. she knew that she needed to talk to you— and it had to be now.

before getting to your house, she stopped by a near by store to get you flowers. this wasn’t the first time she’d done so. in fact, the florist practically knew all about her love for you since it was all wanda could talk about when she went to go pick up your customized bouquet.

this time, however, it was terrifying knowing that there was a chance that this could be the last time she’d be giving you flowers. she knew you were stubborn and once you sat in your thoughts for too long, there was no way of getting you to turn back on it.

had wanda waited too long to speak to you? are you going to turn her away once she gets to your front door? is this going to be the last time she would see you again?

wanda stands in front of your door way, looking disheveled and drenched in rain. the roses she bought for you look worse for wear, but she couldn’t imagine coming to you empty handed. she needed to have something in her hand to help calm her nerves at least.

by the time she’d reached your door, she was shaking. but not out of cold, out of fear and desperation.

knocking on your door, wanda’s heartbeat quickens and for a split second she considers bolting and never coming back.

but the door opens.

and there you are, and somehow in the midst of all the chaos between you two, wanda thinks you look as beautiful as ever.

you look at wanda with an incredulous look, almost telling yourself you’re imagining her here at your doorstep.

you start, “wanda, i don’t think th-“

“no,” wanda says sharply, almost too firm and pushes past you and into your house. her breathing is shallow. it wasn’t from the rain though, it was from the years of unspoken truths, missed opportunities. she needed it out in the air.

wanda’s tone and demeanor momentarily stun you. she has always bent on anything you say and rarely interrupted you when you spoke.

after slowly closing the door behind her, you follow her further into your house. your heart is beating and you can’t help that worry she may get sick being drenched in all the rain.

wanda now is in the middle of your living pacing from one end of the room to the other, clutching drenched and withered red roses in her hands. she looks like she’s on the verge of passing out and you’re immediately worried that she very well could drop on your floor.

“wanda, i think you need to sit down.. let be get you a towel,” you say softly while waking towards her slowly, like she was a cat that could run off at any second.

“no,” she says quickly, now stopping and facing you, “you don’t get to kick me out or walk away this time. you can’t shut me out, not after everything. i know i hurt you— us, but i can’t just walk away without telling you everything.”

wanda rushes her words out, but not faltering once in her firm presence. her voice is laced with desperation and you can literally see her hands shaking.

you can hear a small waver in her voice, one youre not used to. wanda’s body language screams terrified and anxious, but her eyes scream with something much louder: resolve.

you can’t help try to hold back a smile at how you can see the emotion in her eyes. wanda’s eyes speak so much louder than her voice could ever, and you have always loved it so much. it’s how you two could communicate with one another from across the room.

you stand silent and nod, unsure of what to do.

“i understand how it looked. at the party, i mean. the girl there wasn’t anyone i knew, or even want to get to know for that matter. it was just a way to help me pass the time at the party, no matter how nasty that sounds,” wanda begins rambling and you can slowly see the confidence wear off. she pinches the bridge of her nose. this was already off to a bad start.

she had practiced this so many times over the past three hours and none of it was coming out how she wanted it to.

“she wasn’t you,” her voice breaks softly and her words make you freeze.

your heart beat quickens. what does she mean? maybe she’s just trying to make nice and keep the agreement going, it can’t mean that you think it means.

you try to interrupt her, “wanda-“

“i said let me ta-“

you raise your voice and look at her pointedly, “you are in my home and i will speak if i choose.”

wanda feels like a child being scolded.

with a soft and gentle voice, you apologize, “that night, my birthday. seeing you with that girl made me realize we’ve had this whole friends with benefits thing go on too long. it’s gotten in the way of our personal lives and for the sake of our future partners, we need to cut it off.”

you force it out, not sounding confident at all. although you had put much thought into it, it pained you to say it aloud to her. to watch her face drop, to actually see how your words affected her.

tears well in wanda’s eyes, spilling over with a soft, heartbroken cry. this wasn’t what she came here for. she didn’t come here so you could shut her down before even trying to tell you she loved you.

shaking her head and clearing her throat, wanda walks closer to you.

“you don’t get to cut this off without at least having a proper conversation with me,” wanda chokes out through sobs, wiping her tears angrily, “you can’t just throw me away like that.. please”

the silence between the two of you causes the atmosphere in the room to thicken.

hearing her pleading voice, the way she’s gripping onto your shoulders tightly as it’s the last time she’ll touch or see you again— you can’t help but try to fight tears.

in fact, it very well may be the last.

you shake your head, you had thought this over and realized that if wanda didn’t reciprocate the same feelings for you— it’s best if you let her go.

it had become a never ending cycle of stringing you along with no end in sight.

but if it meant nothing to wanda, why would she be here begging and crying for you?

haphazardly, you throw caution to the wind and decide that if this is the last night you’ll see wanda, you may as well lay it all on the table.

you pull away from wanda, raising your voice slightly, “do you have any idea what it took for me to finally accept that this, us, would be a never ending cycle? that it’s only a game of almost? i can’t keep waiting for you, for someone who’s just going to treat me like a place holder for another girl who won’t even last a month and a half?!”

you swallow tears and try your best to sound as firm as possible, “i sat around for all this time just watching you be with other people. giving them the affection i so badly wish you would reserve only for me.”

wanda’s eyebrows furrow at your insinuation that she only every treated you like a pit stop.

anger builds inside and she can’t help but scoff, “are you fucking kidding me? i treated you like a place holder? there’s no way you’re being serious right now.”

her scoff and rough voice cause you to turn back on your heel, defensiveness and frustration seeping through your veins.

“yeah, a goddamn pit stop, wanda. you came around, got me fucking wrapped around your finger and made me fa-,” you almost said it, “you had me wrapped around your finger. i was always there when you called, like a damn fool!”

wanda couldn’t believe what she was hearing. you were acting like she was some kind of person who viewed you as a fool. she was helplessly in love with you, and this is what you saw her as.

running a hand through her hair in hopes of helping herself calm down, she exclaims, “do you really think this was one sided?! i had to watch you date other people too! i wasn’t the only one who dated! after that time you got drunk and i had to take care of you, i couldn’t stop thinking about you saying you wished we could be more! and then i had to carry on with my life like you hadn’t told me you wanted something more with me.”

wanda swallows hard before the words spill out—the night you told her you wanted more. she never wanted to tell you about that night, for fear of running you off.

it was now or never, she had to tell you.

you freeze, what night is she talking about? the weight of her words finally hit you, and it feels like the world has shifted. you search her face, like the answer you’re searching for is written on her forehead.

wanda sighs and rubs her face, “i’m sorry. you got drunk a while back and told me you wanted more. i never told you because i knew it would send you running off, and i couldn’t bare the thought of losing you. it was better to have you like this, no matter how much it hurt, than to not have you at all.”

the rain seemed to be the only sound in the house. the soft thuds of the branches outside hitting the side of the roof are all you two can hear. you stare at each other, for the first time with uncertainty as to what’s next for you two.

wanda walks slowly closer, stopping a few feet in front of you, “do you really think i wanted this to be one sided? i thought that by holding back and keeping my feelings to myself, it was the only way i’d still be able to have you in my life.”

you stare at her as you slowly understand what she’s trying to say. she loved you back.

“i never wanted you to feel that way,” barely above a whisper, “and i’m so sorry that i made you feel that way. it was never my intention to make you feel like you were anything other than my first priority. i only every wanted you, only you. i found myself looking for you in every person i met because i was afraid that if i told you i loved you, you’d run away. if having you meant keeping my feelings to myself, i would make that sacrifice because i couldn’t fathom the thought of you. no longer being in my life.”

you stay silent, her words echoing in your head. wanda loved you back? you can see her hands shaking and the insecurity in her eyes. her hands are shaking and the petals on the roses are falling off slowly with the weight of the water droplets on them.

following your eyes, wanda remembers she got you roses.

she speaks softly, almost afraid to speak to you, “i brought you these. i’m sorry they’re not that pretty, they got kind of messed up with the rain and me squeezing them so tight.”

wanda speaks nervously, shyly and you can’t help but frown at her demeanor. she’s no longer the confident person you know. right now she looks like an insecure woman who’s been rejected by someone she’s been in love with for years.

you gently reach out for the flowers, still shocked by the revelation wanda’s revealed to you in the matter of fifteen minutes.

you hardly register that she’s leaving your home with a new weight on her chest and an empty feeling in her heart.

wanda took your silence as the final answer she’d been dreading. rejection. wanda thinks you don’t love her back. the silence in the room weighed on her like a death sentence and she was forced to walk away— heartbroken and alone.

the sound of her car door being shut pulls you out of your stupor and you realize what this means— what wanda’s departure means.

this can’t be the end.

with adrenaline coursing through you, you throw the door open. you rush out of your house and just before she leaves your drive way, you call out for her.

wanda, as if hoping you’d chase her, drives her car back into your drive way and parks. wanda looks anywhere but you, as if afraid the next thing you’ll tell her is to never come back. her hands grip at her steering wheel tight enough to the point her knuckles turned white. she’s terrified.

stepping outside of her car, she walks up to you. her hands are shaking and you can see that her eyes are red rimmed from all the crying she’s done tonight.

your voice is hoarse from the yelling and crying as well, “i’m sorry. i’m sorry it took this long to tell you and im sorry for accusing you of treating me like nothing. wanda, i love you too— i always have. i was terrified of you not feeling the same way so i forced myself to ignore it. i was wrong, i was wrong about everything.”

wanda’s breath stops and her eyes well up with tears again, “please don’t lie to me just for the sake of my emotions.”

you shake your head insistently, “i’m being honest, i swear on everything i love. i love you, i have for a while. i was just scared and i didn’t know you felt the same way.”

“you love me?” wanda’s voice is shaking and she can’t tell if she’s dreaming or already getting sick from standing in the rain for too long.

nodding with a nervous smile, you don’t care about the rain soaking your clothes or the lighting in the sky. all that matters is that you tell wanda how you feel. before time runs out and you lose her for good.

wanda inhales sharply, a look of relief washing over and she lets out a soft laugh. a trembling hand cautiously reaches for your face as her eyes flooded with relief.

“i was scared,” she says through a wet laugh, “i thought that you would run if i told you i was in love with you.. but if you’ll let me, i swear i won’t ever make you feel like a second priority again. you’ve always been the most important thing in my life and i never want you to feel like anything else.”

her words hit you like a rush of warmth, contrasting against the cold rain surrounding you two. you smile widely, your heart overjoyed with the fact that wanda did love you as you did her.

you laugh— a genuine laugh, and before she can get another word out, you pull her into you. you couldn’t waste another second before connecting your lips.

when you two meet, it’s like everything clicked. all the chaos, all the flings, every person annoying you two about getting together, it meant nothing now that you two expressed what you’d been hiding.

you rest your forehead against wanda’s and whisper softly, “we’ve got a lot to figure out now, but this means we’ll do it together.”

wanda nods with a small smile as she looks at you, “yeah, together.”

as you two stand there, both laughing at the dramatics of it all, you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief, one you’ve held for years. wanda was finally yours and you knew then and there that all of the missed opportunities and lack of truths only led you to her.

ignoring the messiness and the lack of perfection, it was real.

[devotedlyandrogynousyouth]

I am OBSESSED with mean!Jason Todd. I just imagine him saving you from doing something he thinks is really stupid, like walking alone in Gotham after dark and then just being downright mean about it after he takes you home. Unf. Obsessed.

EJEUGDAKAM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH OVER THIS OMG♥️♥️♥️ tysm for the request!

-----------------------------

Mean! Jason Todd (Part 2)

Mean! Jason Todd who has some weird situationship with you. After you hooked up the first time, it just kinda kept going. Do you love him? You aren't sure. Does he love you? Probably not, but he gets possessive as hell regardless.

"What was that shit about?" He took you to a bar before coming back to his apartment once before it became a regular occurance. His face was twisted into that usual scowl and broad arms crossed over his chest. But, oh, how that look gave you some butterflies.

"Him?" You glance over at the guy you'd previously been chatting with a few moments ago through the loud, crowded bar. "He's just a friend." Of course you were telling the truth: the sex with Jason was just too good to pass up by sleeping with somebody else or getting into a serious relationship.

"My ass." An immediate scoff was his biggest reaction. And, to be fair, that's probably the least jealous thing you could've gotten out of him: the guy could've ended up beaten to a pulp on the sidewalk if Jason saw fit. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Mean! Jason Todd who didn't know you worked the late shift at said bar and thought you were just blowing him off for some other guy when you said you were busy. So, when he saw you walking home from your shift down the shady alleys of Gotham nearing 2 AM, he was pissed.

A quick, forceful grab is all you could feel as a broad, muscled figure approached from behind. There wasn't much you could even do other than thrash and claw at his biceps. "Quit your fucking squirming!" Wait, Jason?

Your head was barely able to turn and place him into view, but, surprisingly, you weren't being kidnapped and it was just your situationship. "What the hell are you doing?" His grip loosens slightly after a moment, allowing you to push yourself away from his chest and arms and back down to your feet.

"What the hell are you doing? Do you know what could happen walking out here this late?" Jason is practically screaming at this point, the sound reverberating off the brick walls of shady Gotham apartments. "Or are you trying to get yourself kidnapped?"

Mean! Jason Todd who practically drags you back to his apartment after, absolutely seething with anger and... Worry? No. You wouldn't dare call it that. Not yet, anyway... Maybe something closer to a jealousy. Maybe he was just still jealous of some hypothetical guy you didn't even have plans with.

"What the actual hell did you think you were doing? Do you know how unsafe it is to be walking near Crime Alley at night?" The door is immediately slammed behind him when he takes you back to his apartment. "Look, if you're blowing me off for some other guy, that's fine. But if you're seriously dumb enough to think that I would be okay with you out by yourself regardless, you need to think again."

"Jay, I was just coming home from-" You start, putting down your work bag on his crappy coffee table like you usually do.

"No, don't give me that shit. You were coming home from a little boy toy's place, weren't you?" He's already on his way to grab the bottle of whiskey from the cabinet next to his fridge. "Should've known you'd be just as much of a slut as she was. Hell, a dumb one at that."

Mean! Jason Todd who doesn't even feel bad as he sees you get a little misty eyed. Or maybe he does... It ws really hard to tell when you could barely see through the tears welling up in your beautiful eyes.

Mean! Jason Todd who really ends up getting on your nerves after the first half hour of arguing. There was nowhere to back away to when he came up and towered over you in his dingy, quiet apartment. And so, you did what you could.

"Oh yeah? Well maybe if that greedy little cunt of yours wasn't begging for attention-" Jason wasn't even yelling anymore. In fact, he'd resorted to slut shaming you only ten minutes into the fight.

And then, a loud slap. Your hand stung. A lot. So did his face, probably. And before you could even think about how to apologize or get yourself out of the situation, Jason is picking you up, hauling you over his shoulder, and carrying you to his bedroom.

Mean! Jason Todd who absolutely tortures you as soon as you're in his bedroom. Sure, you'd both had some pretty rough sex before, but he's never been quite as unhinged as he is right now.

"Look at this cunt..." A light slap to your bare clit as he kneels between your legs. "So fucking wet... You're already dripping." Jason cant help but let out a light scoff. In all honesty, it was probably closer to a sadistic laugh. "Is this all for me, or is it just some other guy's leftovers?"

Mean! Jason Todd who knows for a fact that you're not a huge fan of anal. So, even if you did sleep with somebody else (which he's starting to realize wasn't the case), then at least that tight little hole would be unused.

You couldn't help but shiver slightly as you felt him rub the cold lube on your tight, unused hole. At least he had the 'kindness' to get you all wet before trying to bully his thick, long cock into you. "Jay, I can't-"

"Really? You 'can't'?" He actually laughs at you this time as he slides his thick, dripping tip between your cheeks. "Maybe you should've thought of that before going to get some other guy's dick wet."

Mean! Jason Todd who decides to make you forget every other guy you could possibly think of by pulling as many orgasms out of you as possible. You literally have to beg him to stop by the end of it. Your clit feels like its on fire and you can barely move your legs, but, God, that was probably the best sex you'd ever have.

Mean! Jason Todd who, despite how upset he wants to be with you, is absolutely smothering you with aftercare. He's always made sure that you're alright after hooking up, but this time was just a little more... Passionate?

Your thighs burned. Your hips burned. Even the core of your abdomen felt like it was on fire. But when that cool, damp cloth made contact with your sticky, sweat-sheened skin, it felt like heaven.

"Quit moving..." He mutters as he gently wipes away both of your sticky arousal from between your thighs. "I have you. You're alright... Just let me clean you up and we can sleep or get food, alright? Whatever you want, sweetheart."

Mean! Jason Todd who, by the end of the night, realizes that you didn't sleep with anybody else and just feels so much more at peace. It doesn't matter that you two are simply hooking up and non-exclusive. It doesn't matter that this all started because one of your friends cheated on him. What mattered was that your pretty little cunt and ass were all his for as long as possible (totally not that you were safe and he didn't have to worry about being replaced).

-----------------------------

Masterlist

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 46!

another week, another rec list! before we dive in, though, i have a request: please have a look at this fic description and help anon find it!

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading! some might also contain spoilers for season 8.

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

a lighthouse in the fog | greenbergsays/@greenbergsays | 6.8k | T

The one where Buck wakes up after surgery and realizes that Tommy doesn't meet his emotional needs. i love the descriptions of buck and what he's feeling and experiencing here!! so so good

all my little words | youbetsya/@fleabagdiaz | 11.4k | T

Eddie: Did you just send me an email?? Buck: yeah lol (in which buck and eddie email while eddie is in el paso). email correspondence my beloved!! i love how well this captures their voices and dynamic through emails and texts. such a lovely fic <3

a straight guy and an ally walk into a bar... | songbvrd/@songbvrd | 23.2k | M

After Buck gets dumped, he remembers he agreed to go to Abby's wedding with a date. Eddie steps up and pretends to be his boyfriend. All hell breaks loose. buddie fake dating!! shenanigans!! this is unhinged and also soft and i love it so much. the scene where taylor pops up had me laughing so hard. brilliant!

bad idea, right? | brewrosemilk/@gayhoediaz| 6.8k | E

Buck stumbles across Eddie's grindr profile. no no this is the BEST idea actually. the coding is brilliant, this looks so so good, and it's also just fantastically written!

darling (you're the one i want) | archerincombat | 2.5k | G

Eddie keeps buying Buck gifts and Buck keeps not getting the idea. friends to fiances! barnes and noble! flowers! this fic has everything!! loved reading this <3

giving way to labored breath | serenelystrange/@serenelystrange | 1.5k | T

In which falling in love was the easy part, and learning how to actually be together is another beast entirely. They work it out. blanket rec for an author whose work i've really been enjoying this week <3 this one in particular is such a brilliant look at buck and eddie getting together <3

i could give you fifty reasons | marviless/@marviless | 15.7k | T

buck is on a mission to help eddie recover his self-confidence. it goes well for exactly zero parties involved. this might not go well for anyone who's actually involved but it went very very well for me <3 i love buck being earnest and a little embarrassing and so very full of love for eddie!!

if you love me right, then who knows? | ipretendtobesane/@userbuddie | 3.4k | E

buck and eddie stumble upon a feminization kink, and eddie really likes his boyfriend's tits. there's something about buddie playing around with feminisation that just hits so hard. this is so so good!!

love in the shock of lightning | justhockey | 4k | T

It was real. It had happened. It had happened to Buck, and to Eddie, and to see it again…to be confronted with it so abruptly, without any time to steel himself against the memories of that night? Eddie had almost collapsed to his knees then and there. hmmm yes spec fic we love to see it!! and stress baking! loveliest emotional hurt/comfort getting together fic <3

never seen a bluer sky | Chash/@ponyregrets | 1.9k | T

"Hey, what brings you joy?" Eddie is expecting some waffling in Buck's response. Maybe some suspicion. It's a weird thing to ask, obviously. Joy isn't a word he uses much, isn't a go-to. But even if what makes you happy is a more normal question, it's not right. He needs something deeper. buck and eddie finding joy my beloved <3 this hits the spot just right!!

promise you'll put your hand in my hand | farfromthstars/@doeeyeseddie | 4k | T

5 times buck and eddie hold hands platonically, and 1 time they don't. holding hands <3 so fluffy so sweet so so lovely <3

put on a slow dumb show for you | fleetinghearts/@shitouttabuck | 2.3k | T

they’re sleepy and a little drunk and buck’s one step behind. do i even need to say how much i love bed sharing fics? like i think you all know that by now lmao. anyway this one in particular hits that fluff and crack spot so perfectly and i love it so very much <3

since forever | @hotshotsxyz | 1.3k

the loveliest tumblr fic!! soft and sweet indeed <3 this eddie is brilliant!

skin still wet (still on my skin) | marrows | 6.2k | E

Buck’s hand is on his thigh. Eddie chokes on his beer, eyes fixed on the curl of Buck’s fingers, tucked in just above his knee to where his skin meets the sofa. He hadn’t noticed, how hadn’t he even noticed? 8xo6 codas haven't failed me yet lol and this is one of my favourites!! it follows the episode so naturally <3 also another appearance of buck's praise kink, my best friend yay

somebody i can kiss | Rianne/@rianneeyre | 7.9k | E

Buck might be a little touch-starved. And he knew that, but he was not prepared to deal with how the knowledge would interact with his newfound awareness of his crush on—no, realistically, his undying love for Eddie. [...] The point is, he should not spend Christmas on a fucking sleepover with Eddie. But he’s gonna. christmas sleepover <3 i for one cannot wait to drown in holiday fics soon and i already know i'll be revisiting this over the next few weeks. this is soft and spicy and just absolutely brilliant <3

take the bed warmed by the body | lecornergirl/@clusterbuck | 2.5k | T

It’s three parts bravado and one part reminder. He thinks about it, sometimes, his first shift at the 118—he doesn’t think either of them quite knew how much they’d meant it when they’d promised to have each other’s backs. He definitely hadn’t known, then, that he’d wake up one day and wonder why Buck isn’t in his bed. i love this twist on sharing a bed so very much <3 so brilliantly them!!

that kind of music just soothes the soul | KejfeBlintz/@kejfeblintz | 1.8k | G

Settling back into the corner of his couch with a happy sigh, Eddie let the fizz of excitement from his impromptu dance party hum beneath his skin. He had done something joyful for himself and had been rewarded with his best friend and a six pack of beer appearing on his doorstep. He’d danced and the world hadn’t ended. he'd danced and the world hadn't ended!! lovely episode coda and such a well-written eddie <3

through the looking glass | jukoist | 6.4k | G

Buck likes Tommy. He does! And he definitely isn't in love with Eddie. He's just... worried. Because Eddie keeps vanishing on Sundays, leaving Buck with the boyfriend he definitely likes as much as he should. Everything is fine. the dialogue in this fic is particularly great <3 lovely lovely fic!!

[bestofmultiverse]

Between the pages || 4

Aubrey plaza x fem!reader

"It’s hard to save people from themselves. But if they’re willing to try, it’s worth the risk.”

- Paperweight by Meg Haston

A/N : this part talks about mental health, i don't know if its on triggering level but it was important for me to let yall know.

Got inspired by my trip to the ER today because of anxiety attack that left me feeling like i was literally dying. Im okay, conveniently had a therapy session as well afterwards so had a pretty rough day- but pushing trough it 🤍

I love you guys hope you will like this one x

1 • 2 • 3

When Aubrey stormed into the ER, she wasn’t sure what she was more furious about: the fact that her girlfriend hadn’t told her she was there or the casually infuriating way she explained it when she finally did.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” her girlfriend had said with a weak shrug, as if chest pain and difficulty breathing were minor inconveniences she could brush off.

“Didn’t want to bother me?” Aubrey had echoed, disbelief flaring in her voice.

The younger woman, seated in one of those awful plastic chairs, simply nodded, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. “It’s not the first time,” she added lightly.

That had nearly sent Aubrey over the edge, but then her anger had crumbled the moment she took in her girlfriend’s slumped posture, the way her hands trembled slightly in her lap. The fight in her drained away, replaced by a deep, aching worry.

Without a word, Aubrey knelt in front of her and wrapped her arms around her tightly. Her girlfriend stiffened for a moment before her shoulders sagged, and tears, born of frustration and weariness, spilled from her tired brown eyes.

“You scared the hell out of me,” Aubrey murmured against her temple, her voice breaking.

“I’m sorry,” came the hoarse reply.

“What did the doctor say?” Aubrey asked after a beat.

“Nothing yet. It’s been two hours since they checked me, so I guess that’s a good sign,” her girlfriend said, trying for humor, but the weak smile didn’t reach her eyes.

Aubrey frowned and brushed a stray strand of hair from her girlfriend’s face. “What made you come in today?”

Her girlfriend hesitated, looking down at her hands. “A coworker noticed I was struggling and told my supervisor. They basically forced me to come.”

Aubrey’s heart clenched at the thought of her being too stubborn—or scared—to seek help on her own. “I’m sorry that happened, baby.”

“It’s not your fault,” her girlfriend said softly, shaking her head.

Aubrey pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Still. I wish you’d told me sooner.”

“I didn’t want to worry you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Aubrey sighed, her thumb tracing comforting circles over her girlfriend’s hand. “I’m going to talk to the nurse and see what’s going on.”

Her girlfriend grabbed her wrist, her grip surprisingly firm. “Please don’t make a scene. They’re doing their best.”

“I won’t, I promise,” Aubrey said with a small smile. “But I’m not just going to sit here while you suffer.”

She stood and approached the front desk, her patience already worn thin. “Excuse me,” she said, keeping her tone calm but firm. “My girlfriend’s been waiting for two hours with chest pain and trouble breathing. Is there any way to get an update?”

The nurse didn’t even glance up. “It takes time,” she said dismissively.

“I understand that,” Aubrey replied, clenching her jaw. “But is there any way to know how much time?”

Before the nurse could respond, a doctor appeared in the doorway, clipboard in hand. “Y/N?” she called out.

Relief washed over Aubrey as she hurried back to her girlfriend. “Come on,” she said gently, helping her to her feet.

They followed the doctor into an exam room, and Aubrey stayed close, her hand never leaving her girlfriend’s.

“After running several tests, we didn’t find anything concerning,” the doctor began, offering a reassuring smile. “Your heart and lungs are healthy, and your bloodwork came back normal.”

Aubrey’s girlfriend nodded slowly, her expression conflicted.

“So what’s causing this?” Aubrey asked, her tone carefully measured.

The doctor hesitated before answering. “It seems to be psychological—likely a panic attack.”

Aubrey’s girlfriend let out a bitter laugh. “Figures.”

“It’s more common than you think,” the doctor said gently. “There’s nothing physically wrong with you, which is good news. But I’d recommend following up with a therapist to explore potential triggers and coping strategies.”

“Right,” her girlfriend muttered as she stood, grabbing her bag. “So, I’m crazy. Got it.”

“You’re not crazy,” Aubrey said firmly, standing as well and pulling her into a hug. She held her close, one hand cradling the back of her head as her girlfriend let out a shaky breath against her shoulder.

“Thank you, doctor,” Aubrey said softly before leading her girlfriend out of the hospital.

The drive home was quiet, the radio turned off at her girlfriend’s request. When they reached Aubrey’s apartment—a place that had gradually become their shared home—they settled on the couch, the silence stretching between them.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Aubrey asked after a while. “No pressure, but… I’m here.”

Her girlfriend pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them. “It’s just… stuff. Work’s been rough, and… other things too.”

“Other things?” Aubrey prompted gently.

Her girlfriend hesitated. “It started about five months ago.”

Aubrey froze. Five months ago—the same time the media had started dissecting their relationship, plastering their faces across magazines and social media.

Her girlfriend must have noticed the look on her face because she quickly added, “This isn’t your fault, Aubrey. Please don’t think that.”

Aubrey shook her head. “I should’ve protected you from all of that.”

“You couldn’t have. I chose this. I chose you,” her girlfriend said, her voice trembling. “And I’d choose you again. Every time.”

Aubrey pulled her into her arms, kissing her temple. “I’d choose you too. Always.” She paused, stroking her girlfriend’s hair. “But I think we need help—someone who can help us make sense of this.”

Her girlfriend looked up at her, confused.

“I’m talking about therapy,” Aubrey said gently. “For you, if you want it. And maybe for us. Together.”

Her girlfriend frowned. “You think we need couples therapy?”

“I think it’s worth trying,” Aubrey said honestly. “You were scared to tell me what you’ve been going through, and I can’t stop blaming myself for what you’ve been feeling. I don’t want either of us to carry that alone.”

Her girlfriend sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I’ll think about it,” she said quietly.

“That’s all I’m asking,” Aubrey said, kissing her hand.

After a moment, her girlfriend stood. “I need a bath. I feel gross.”

“Want company?” Aubrey offered with a small smile.

Her girlfriend nodded. “Yeah. I don’t want to be alone.”

Aubrey followed her into the bathroom, and they sank into the warm, bubble-filled tub together, with a book of y/n's choice as their worries temporarily melting away in the comfort of each other’s arms.

[beef-brisket]

((Fucking Steve 😂))

Steve slowly wakes up. He's in some round concrete room, strung up, hanging from the ceiling. His wings are bound and spread wide.

Steve: T-The fuck-.

Adam: Well, that wasn't a nice thing to say, Steven-

Steve: Steve.

Adam: Steven. Now. We have some business to discuss. Don't you think?

Adam snaps his fingers, and a small chair spawns behind him. He takes a set and crosses his legs.

Adam: So, what have you been up to? Apart from killing overlords. Or trying to~.

Steve: Where the fuck am I...?

Adam: Mmm, I'm so glad you asked. You're a very lucky little bird. You're at my radio tower! How exciting! And, if you ask nicely, you might just get out of here alive.

Steve: W-Why am I here-?

Adam: I would have rather torn you apart for that cheap shot you gave me, but the princess has extended her mercy to you. For some reason. But I'm not here to argue with the royals.

Steve: Only fuck em.

Adam: The king. To specify. I care for Charlie, but I'd rather keep my dick away from sunshine and rainbows. But, you haven't answered my question. What have you been up to?

Steve: ...nothing much-.

Adam: Oh, we both know that's a lie. You've been busy!

Steve: Doing what the exorcists are too chicken shit to do! Cut Hell down from the fucking top! Sinners are nothing without their fucking overlords! With you lot gone- sinners will be lost! Running wild in the fucking streets! Easy picking.

Adam: Hm. Interesting. Sounds like you're wasting your time, Steven. There will always be overlords. And with these few you've knocked off, I've heard there are some that have already started rising to power. So, good job!

Steve: N-Nearly got you though, didn't I? Little song bird, bleeding on a driveway to some bullshit hotel. You've fallen, Adam. And further than Hell. You used to be the fucking prodigy- everyone sung praises about you.

Adam snarls, making his smile look deadly.

Adam: That's not a compliment, Steven. You better watch what you say to me, I'm in a good mood at the moment, but that can quickly change.

Steve: ...what happened to you?

Adam: Heaven happened to me. Decided I was to play dress up down here. Didn't work out very well.

Steve smirked: Yeah, I saw the videos- agh!

A tentacle shot out from the darkness and stabbed itself into Steve's shoulder. Adam moved closer and grabbed the base of Steve's wing.

Adam: Naughty boy. I warned you. Now, you have such pretty wings, Steven. I've always admired them~. It would be a shame for you if they ended up hanging on my wall, don't you think?

Steve: Y-You- crazy- CUNT!

Adam: Oh yes. My king says my cunt drives him crazy~. But! That's not important right now, I have a few questions for you before our sweet princess gets here. And I recommend being a good little bird, she won't be happy if you get blood on her~.

Steve was pushed away by his wing, the tentacle in his shoulder stayed put. He glared as Adam sat back down on his seat.

Adam: Now. Did you act along, or do you have a boss I can file a complaint with~?

Lowkey want an au where Adam has Alastors' powers.

The tentacles

The eyes

The changing size

The shadows

The sass

The deal making

Him owning Husk and Nifty

The musical numbers

The radio control

The tentacles- have I mentioned that before?

The rivalry with Lucifer

Maybe he replaces Alastor entirely. No Alastor. Only Adam. It's always been Adam.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

Only Adam lol This is good! His Husk and Nifty could be Lute and Peter.

He doesn't have to smile all the time does he?

Yessss, and he plays rock instead of jazz lol And yes of course there is a rivalry lol

[cherry-pop-elf]

Break Him Back

Anya x Reader

SUM: YOU were who Anya confided in…

Warnings: Sexual Assault, Rape, Rape After math, unwanted pregnancy, Jimmy, violence, written by someone who’s a victim of sexual assault

“Anya? What’s the matter? It’s the middle of the night. I think…It’s in the middle of sleeping hours.” You tried to joke lightly, in the hopes to calm whatever nerves she had, but it seemed to not get a laugh out of her. Not this time.

“I….Can….Do you….I need to tell you something. I need to tell someone, but I don’t know who. I think you. You will believe me and understand. Right?”

This was making you confused. What’s she going on about? Did she have a nightmare? You sure knew a thing or two about those. Nightmares can feel so real sometimes. Probably just shaken up from it.

“Come on in my room. Come on Doc.” You would user her in, and she was quick to follow. Quick to just sit on your bed. Sit and pretty much curl up on herself. As if she had the world’s worst stomach ache. You figured it’s the nerves from the nightmare.

You would sit down next to her, as she just stared into no real direction. It was towards the floor but her eyes just didn’t really seem to look there. Was like her soul was somewhere else while her body remained. Like she was looking from above, like some third person view.

She just wasn’t really there.

“Anya? What’s up? Nightmare?” You asked, as you would rub her back. The way she flinched away from your touch seemed to be what made her finally have the ability to see through her eyes again. See, and have tears trickle down.

“I wish it was.” She whispered to you, as she squeezed at her stomach more. Was like she was trying to crush her own organs. Was making you more scared. The hell has her so damn rattled? She’s a Nurse. Isn’t it hard to rattle people like that?

“I’m…..I….Oh what do I even say?” She just couldn’t raise her voice. Was like she was terrified of someone overhearing them. That someone would hurt her.

“Hey hey. Deep breathes. I’m right here. You can tell me anything. We’ve been friends for ages. Whatever happened I’m here to listen.” You would do your best to comfort. You didn’t want to attempt to touch her again so you were trying your best to use words.

Was a long silence now. You didn’t rush her. She needed to get a chance to collect herself. Figure out how to speak whatever is needed. You were willing to wait forever for her. You loved her after all.

“I….Would this count as cheating?”

You blinked at that. Made your heart drop to.

Was she saying she cheated on you?

No no. That’s not your Anya. You weren’t going to jump the gun. Something clearly has her shaken. Maybe she was just struggling with words. You were going to let her speak before doing anything rash.

“I…..I’m pregnant.”

The bombshell made you feel dizzy. What does she mean she was pregnant? That was impossible. There was no way. At least not between you to at least. That was what you knew for as a fact. No way.

That meant it was someone else.

Daisuke? No way. Definitely not him. He’s genuinely a wonderful kid. He was so kind and sweet, and had so many other things to think about. Not to mention he was a shitty liar. If he and Anya had something going on there was zero chance no one wouldn’t know. Especially Swansea. They spent to much time together.

Speaking of him you tried to think about Big Swan next.

That was also impossible. Why? Well he got a vasectomy. Was even in his medical reports. Sure they weren’t 100% but like 99.99% is still impossibly small. Not to mention you lowkey doubt he could get it up anymore anyway. But you were keeping that to yourself. He may be sober but you recall that he and his wife struggled to have kids for a while.

Could it be the Captain? Captain Curly? He and her were close, but you also just couldn’t imagine it. Why? Well his ass was gay. Unless Anya suddenly had a transition you weren’t aware of you were certain he wouldn’t be remotely attracted to her.

Last was….

Jimmy.

Jimmy had been a massive creep to Anya the moment the ship took off. Always finding excuses to be alone with her, making unwarranted comments about her body, touching her at any chance he could, and just over all being a major creep. Had gotten to the point where Curly out right ordered him to knock it off. You even overheard him telling Swansea to keep an eye on Jimmy. To find his own reason to be in the room if he isolated himself with her.

That’s when your soul left your body.

Would this count as cheating?

Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh god no.

“When did this happen?” You weren’t sure how your voice came out. You were holding back anger. Not to Anya. No. Never. She did nothing wrong. It was Jimmy and Jimmy alone.

“About a month ago. At first I thought it was a rather real nightmare. That I was just dreaming. That what happened was just me being afraid of him. During it I had blacked out and I just assumed that meant I fell back asleep with in the dream. Then I started having symptoms. Symptoms that were too coincidental to be ignored. I took a test and…..Here I am.”

She sniffled, and that was the only thing to make your rage subside. For now anyway. You had to be there for her right now. She needed you. You would control your emotions for her. She needed someone. She needed you.

“Whatever happens next happens next. Alright? You want to get rid of it we will find a way. If you wanna keep it we will find a way to take care of them until we can get back home. Alright? This doesn’t make me love you any less. This doesn’t make me see you as broken or damaged goods. You aren’t any less my girlfriend as the day I asked you to be mine. We will get through this.”

She would keep sniffling into your shoulder, as you laid down with her. Holding her as tightly as you could, while your eyes remained glued to your door. Just as much expecting Jimmy to break in as she did.

“Does he know?”

She nodded.

“He said it was my problem, not his.” She hiccuped, as she just squeezed you tighter. The only thing to calm her down was you. You were who she trusted. You were who she loved. You were what kept her going.

You didn’t get any sleep that night, and you didn’t care.

You didn’t care.

You were too busy thinking over what to do next.

As the hours went on you tried to think.

The ship wasn’t exactly built to house prisoners. There was still a year left to the journey. Murder couldn’t just be the answer. Well you were certainly planning murder but you were doubtful Curly was gonna allow murder on his ship. Justified or not.

The hell were you going to do?

Teach him a lesson that’s what.

Beat him until he was unable to ever lay hands on anyone again.

With that made up you would suddenly hear your alarm go off. Anya would rub at her eyes, as you realized you really didn’t get sleep at all. Just kept her close and safe. Least you knew no one was touching her.

You two would get dressed for the day, since you two were a couple there was a spare jumpsuit for her in your closet of course, and make the journey to the kitchen. Determination was on your face, as Anya just meekly held your arm for support.

There the rest of the crew was. There like nothing had happened at all. Curly was working on making coffee for everyone, Swansea was fighting to wake up, Daisuke was sitting on the counter with his feet swinging, and there was Jimmy. There ever at Curly’s side. Like some tumor.

“Morning guys!” Daisuke would wave happily, as Anya gave a meek one in return. Swansea would give a ‘huh wha-?’ Like the dad he was, while Curly turned and flashed his brilliant smile. Jimmy? Didn’t even acknowledge you two.

Oh that made you burn with anger.

Wasn’t even so much as a thought about her.

She was nothing.

“Curly, I’ll handle coffee for us. You go and sit down. Rest. I know you’ve been working to hard.” You tried to keep calm, and plastered a fake smile.

“Oh aren’t you kind. Thank you.” He would step away from where he had been, and soon joined Swansea at the table. The voice to keep him awake as Daisuke joined with Anya. Everyone away, while Jimmy remained in the kitchen nook. Curious as to why you had offered.

You would keep your fists clenched at your side, as you now stood next to him. Eyes glued to the coffee maker in-front of you both. A painful silence was shared between you both. Was like the voices at the table didn’t even exist. Was just the two of you.

He would side eye you, and you side eyed him back.

For a brief moment, you swore he knew that you knew. That you knew what he did.

But as quickly as he showed it, that vanished from his eyes.

As if it was nothing more than just accidentally bumping into her in the hallway.

That’s when you snapped.

“I hope this hurts-“

You grabbed the handle of the coffee pot and SMASHED it against his face. Boiling hot coffee splashed everywhere. Including on yourself. You could hardly notice, as you were pinning him to the ground.

“THE HELL YOU DOING?!”

Not often Curly swore, as if Hell even was one but if anything that showed how hard it was to get him rilled up. Guess seeing your best friends face be full of glass, skin suffering second to third degree burns, and screaming bloody murder is gonna set everyone on edge.

You didn’t really care. All you saw was red. Pretty sure you didn’t even blink. You just were wailing on him. Adrenalin was pumping through your veins. Made any pain you felt not compute. You just needed to beat Jimmy into a pulp.

“KID GET OFF OF HIM-!” Swansea would pull you off him, while Curly pulled Jimmy away from you. Meanwhile Daisuke was standing infront of Anya. Willing to use himself as a shield to protect her before himself. Even so young he knew where he stood.

“THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” The two men shouted, while Jimmy was sobbing into Curly. Using him as some kind of shield. Like he would be saved by his Captain.

“What’s wrong with me?! WHATS WRONG WITH HIM?!” You snapped back, as you tried to pull away from Swansea. To try and keep beating him over and over. Curse him for having that mechanic strength.

“All he was doing was standing there and doing nothing!” Curly would shout at you, as he tried to look over the wounds. To see what he could do.

“Anya please hurry over here-!”

But she refused.

She refused.

“Anya?! Anya come over here! Please! Don’t make me order you!” He shouted, but she just stepped further away.

Curly was so confused.

That’s when you fixed that.

“That man you are holding there RAPED ANYA! Not only that, he got her PREGNANT! AND HE TOLD HER IT WAS HER PROBLEM NOT HIS.”

That’s when everyone went silent. All except Jimmy and Daisuke.

Jimmy kept hissing and crying in pain, while Daisuke was throwing up. Poor kid. So much was running through everyone’s head now. That they had been talking to, being friends with, living with a monster.

That’s when Swansea let you go.

Did he do it because he was in shock? Maybe his way of saying to keep beating Jimmy? You didn’t know. You just knew Curly looked more sick than even Anya.

“There….There has to be a misunderstanding….”

You wanted to smack Curly for saying that, but at the same time you couldn’t help but sympathize.

Would you believe someone if they told you your best friend raped someone?

Would you not beg to hear the full story? To get the full picture?

Wouldn’t you want to fight for their innocents?

Wouldn’t you have a moment of denial?

Wouldn’t you?

“It’s true…I have the test results to prove it. Prove he….Prove he did what he did.” Anya would do her best to speak for herself. It was so hard, but she knew she had to. She had to so that maybe others could be saved.

Saved from him.

“I…Maybe the test came back wrong. Did you take a second test?” The more Curly talked the more you wanted to beat him next. Luckily Swansea grabbed you again. How he grabbed you wasn’t to keep you from beating people. Just held you close. Like a father to a daughter who came home crying.

“Yes. I wanted to be sure of course. Of course. Even a third time. It was positive. He hurt me.” Anya would nod, as Curly looked down to Jimmy. To see him looking so pathetic in his arms. Face scorched, bleeding, full of tears, and looking like shit.

The captain would look to everyone. Scanned each face carefully. How Swansea was looking down at Jimmy with disgust, the way Daisuke was unable to even look towards the kitchen but still fought his stomach to hold Anya in a comforting hug. When his eyes landed on hers. To see them so glassy…He just knew.

“What have you done, Jimmy?”

If it was hypothetical or not, you’ll never know.

You just knew that right now you were sitting in the co-pilot seat. Helping monitor the asteroid belt the Tulpar was traveling through.

Anya was busy with patching up Swansea after he got a nasty cut on his arm from working in a vent.

Daisuke himself was currently bringing a tray to what was once Anya’s room. With the help of the skills of a mechanic, and the curious mind of someone who has played quite the handful of secret passage way games, they were able to turn a once bedroom into a makeshift prison cell.

A place to insert food, a gap to look inside, all the works. Thank goodness each bedroom had its own bathroom.

“Here’s lunch…” Daisuke would push the tray in, and didn’t even stay a second longer.

Even he couldn’t give him a passing smile.

He would just return back to the med-bay. A smile for Anya plastered on him, as that made her beam in return.

A smile she deserved.

A smile that Jimmy will only see again when he’s in handcuffs, and behind real bars.

A smile that said…

Rot. In. Hell.

[jifloulette]

➳ you've changed a lot ever since, i'm still stuck in the same place we left.

itoshi sae runs into you and he sees what changed with you ever since he left you.

warnings ; implied breakup, angst with a hopeful ending

the first time sae sees you again was in the convenience store by the school he used to go to.

he vaguely remembers you waiting for him by the gate, greeting him with a beaming smile and a wave. he chuckles a bit remembering that. he also vaguely remembers how you would show him your favorite snacks and drinks to get at that same store, telling him that if you ever get mad at him, he should buy these for you and he'll have your heart. he tries to remember more memories the two of you created but it's no use, the thought of you at the back of his mind is all a blur. was it you he was with at the beach? was it you he was with as he went to buy ice cream? was it you that screamed his name so loud at his games? was it you who he kissed under the fireworks? maybe if he hadn't tried to push you away then you would see how much he appreciates you, how much he loves you. but at the same time, he impulsively erased any memory of you in his brain. it's like you were some specks of dust in the corner of his room that no matter how much he cleaned it, it'll still come back. it's funny, no? seeing you with different people whom he didn't recognize, looking at them with that same smile of yours, arms interlocked with each other, happily chatting about who knows what.

the strange thing he noticed is that the snacks you bought and ate were different than what you used to buy with him. he was confused, what do you mean you don't buy the packaged mochis anymore? the hi-chews? the lychee ramunes? to be fair, he did leave you behind as well for 4 years. who knows what happened and what changed in you within those 1,461 days? it was a long time to wait for someone who broke your heart, you were bound to get tired of waiting. it's not like he ever tried to reply to your messages and calls daily, most of them left delivered and in voicemail. another thing he noticed was your hair. you had let it grow unlike when you were with him. you used to cut it whenever you noticed it getting longer, saying that you didn't like having long hair because it was a hassle to take care of. oh and, your hair was a different color too, from h/c to a lighter color, it fit you that's for sure. oh, the things he'd do just so he could run his fingers through your hair just like he did back then.

it's like he was stuck in time, he couldn't move even if he wanted to. he stayed there, looking at you. seeing how you were slowly losing your teenage features. you were way taller, hell, you might've been a few inches taller than him. the next thing he knew was that his legs were on autopilot. they walked towards the convenience store. you were going to see him sooner or later, but fuck, he wasn't prepared. he doesn't even know what he's going to say once you see him. were you even going to notice him at all? were you going to ignore him the same way he did to you? "sae? is that you?", it was only when you talked that sae realized he had gone inside the store. you waved to the boy as you walked closer to him. he noticed your voice was deeper, it was still beautiful to hear though. even after all these years, he still loved hearing your honey-like voice. "it's been a minute, huh? how have you been? i thought you were in Spain?" you ask, "oh.. uh, i'm doing well. i just came back here to renew my passport for a good 3 days. got hungry so i went here." he replies, "so, you won't be here for long, huh." you added. "i missed you." you suddenly say, catching him off guard. "i.. did too." sae returns, hearing your friends call for you, you quickly say goodbye to him. "wait a bit, guys! uh, i guess this is goodbye, itoshi sae?" you tell him, "goodbye, y/n. i'm sorry i couldn't love you the same way you loved me." sae states, the last part he whispered. time was cruel for letting the two of you talk for only a minute or two, he'd do anything he could just to let you stay for a few more minutes.

with that, you had left with your friends. god, if only he stopped you. if only he said that he could ask his assistant to give him a week or so to stay in japan, maybe then the spark that was once firing with love and passion between the two of you would be relit. it was his fault for leaving you with the mess of heartbreak anyways, he was cruel for doing that to you, he knows that. sae thought that he had moved on, but it was just a façade he created to hide the guilt of leaving what the two of you could've been behind. he had left but he had never moved on, you had stayed yet you were the one to move on first. so, a question lingers in his mind as he gives the lady his ticket, which of the two of you really left the other?

the second time sae sees you again was at the airport.

all of a sudden, he heard a voice shouting his name. a voice he knew all too well. it was your voice, calling for him. he stopped dead in his tracks and looked back, seeing you wave at him with that same light in your eyes. he quickly runs to you, his assistant saying that the flight will leave soon but he could care less. "w-what are you doing here, y/n?" sae asks you, "well.. you did say you were going to stay for only 3 days, i also asked your mom about when you were going to leave so here i am!" you answer, smiling at him. he quickly dropped his bags and hugged you, oh so tightly. he didn't care if people were around, you were here with him after all. he thanks whatever god is out there for giving him another chance to hold you like this again. maybe, just maybe, he can relight the dying flame between the two of you.

©🇯​​🇮​​🇫​​🇱​​🇴​​🇺​​🇱​​🇪​​🇹​​🇹​​🇪​, do not steal, translate, or repost any of my writings anywhere else.

[woodywood101blog]

Experimental: 22 Weeks

Yazan could not understand why his belly continued to grow, even as he was cutting down on his meals, increasing his exercise frequency, and anything else he could do to make the belly disappear.

The following weeks were a blur of working out for three hours every evening, six days a week, plus cutting out all fats and sugars and going on a strict low carb diet. The only thing the changes did to Yazan was make him more tired and stressed at work. Plus, the belly kept growing.

He was sitting in his office at the hospital, absent-mindedly rubbing the belly when he felt flutters within his stomach. He gasped, and was in such shock that he leapt to the sink nearby and threw up his poor excuse of a lunch.

Randy was hoping to ask Yazan about a patient of his, and knocked on Yazan’s office door. He peered inside when Yazan responded with a groan, and saw Yazan perched over his sink, spitting out the last of his vomit.

“You’ve really got to get this bug checked out, Yaz.”

“Something moved.”

“What?”

“I mean it, something moved. Come here and feel this.” Yazan unbuttoned his tight shirt to expose his belly. Randy was firstly surprised with how round and globe-like Yazan’s belly looked. Yazan always focused on fitness, so seeing him go from just a bulk to something more extreme meant his mental health was rough, he was highly stressed, or a rapidly growing gastrointestinal cancer. He walked towards Yazan and prodded the belly, feeling that it wasn’t soft like regular abdominal fat. Instead, it felt solid. Then he felt it - a brief flutter. He looked up at Yazan in confusion. “You felt that too, right? I swear, I’m not going crazy!”

“Let’s go across to imaging, shall we?” Randy offered. Yazan groaned, not because of the need to go and find out what was happening, but because it meant he needed to try and button his shirt again, which was getting harder each day. 

“Let me know when you’re done moaning!” Randy said as he was walking out of Yazan’s office. Yazan chuckled and got himself ready. He could feel pressure building on his back, so used his palm to apply some pressure to his lower back, which seemed to help as he started moving towards the imaging ward.

Once in imaging, he saw Randy already set up with the ultrasound machine. “You know the drill: shirt off, belt off, lay down and deep breaths.” Randy occasionally considered working in radiology, but found his main calling in paediatrics. Regardless, it felt second nature to him using the various machines, such as ultrasounds.

Randy squeezed some gel onto the wand, and started towards the lower front area of Yazan’s belly, near his belly button. The answer was almost instantaneous.

“What the fuck is that?” Yazan asked.

“1… 2…”

“Randy, why are you counting…”

“Shh, 3…”

“Don’t you fucking dare shush me!”

“4 foetuses.”

Yazan fainted almost instantly.

***

Mike was growing more and more nervous with the lack of content he saw on Yazan’s social media. I really hope there are no serious complications from whatever is happening, Mike thought. After three more days of limited content aside from text-only Instagram stories, he decided to bite the bullet and message Yazan.

Hey there Yazan, not too sure if you remember me, but I’m Mike, the Australian doctor you met while in Sydney for the medical conference. I was wondering if you were free for a video call sometime soon, just to see how you’re going…

Yazan was sitting at home, feeling the odd flitter of movement in his belly when he felt a buzz from his phone. “Instagram: New message from @drmikeallred” As soon as Yazan saw the message from Mike and clicked on his Instagram profile, the dinner at the Oxford Hotel immediately came to mind. 

“I was living my normal life when I suddenly had this hot flush… and then had this urge to be fucked by anyone… and now I have four babies in me? Wasn’t Mike one of those researchers on… male pregnancy? Oh hell no!”

He ignored the message. There’s no fucking way Mike is the one who caused all this, Yazan screamed.

***

Each morning, Yazan woke up feeling his stomach stretching more tightly than the previous day. He found it astounding that he probably wasn’t even half-way through the pregnancy and already felt like he was full-term with a single baby. Any vague sense of relief he had from lying in bed immediately disappeared when he sat up and gravity caused his belly to drop into his lap. From there, the babies would start to wake up and stretch by pummeling his stomach and diaphragm.

He eventually got up from his king bed and slowly walked his way to his bathroom. Every time he flicked the lights on, he was gobsmacked by the growing belly and its gradual transformation. He started to notice every crevice, every hint of stretch marks and his losing battle to maintain his fitness. 

Yazan swayed sideways to see how much further his stomach extends. He can vaguely see the top half of his feet when he looks down, but he knows it’s only a matter of time before he loses the ability to see his feet too. One of his babies moves at that moment, and he looks back up towards the mirror to see the ripple across his belly. He shudders.

While looking up, he notices his pecs are starting to soften, and that his nipples are now a darker shade of pink. He lifts one of his pecs up and notices his pec feels slightly fatter than before. He dreads how much more will change with them.

After his morning care routine, he eventually got dressed into his work clothes, which in itself has become more of a struggle than before. He started ordering some larger shirts a couple of weeks ago, but even those shirts burst at the seams trying to keep his belly in place. He resorted to buying “Big and Tall” branded shirts to try and keep some sort of dignity, even though he never thought he’d have to wear those types of shirts, unless he went down the route of becoming a bodybuilder. At the moment, his pants feel fine, aside from his butt and thighs feeling slightly thicker.

Yazan’s patients were starting to notice the sudden growth around his belly. “Looks like you could use some of the advice you give us, Dr Yazan!” one of his patients joked.

“Ah, well…” and just as he was about to continue, Yazan briefly gasped as one of the babies moved around the top of his stomach aggressively. The patient raised one of his eyebrows at Dr Yazan, who looked back at the patient sheepishly.

How much fucking longer, Yazan thought.

***

How much fucking longer, Mike thought. Yazan hadn’t replied to his message for weeks at this point, and he was getting more nervous that something had gone terribly wrong for Yazan. All Mike wanted to do was check that Yazan was alive, and that if he was pregnant for some miraculous reason, he was okay.

One lazy Thursday evening after a day at the research lab at the university, Mike got a reply back from Yazan.

Hey, sorry for not replying sooner. Some things have popped up recently… Are you free for a chat soon?

Mike immediately leapt at the message. He got a video call request from Yazan, and with a deep breath swiped to accept the call. Mike saw Yazan in a white singlet that appeared tighter than usual. However, he could only see from the chest up.

“Hello there, stranger.” Mike tried to say suavely.

“Hello. Let me just start by saying that I don’t know what is really happening, but…”

(picture by @bigmpregnm)

Yazan swapped the camera around to show him standing in front of his bathroom mirror. Mike’s eyes bulged when he saw what he could only describe as a gigantic belly that is barely covered by his super tight white singlet. He had only seen these sizes when he was helping women carrying multiples. But there’s no way -

“... there are four in here.”

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me. FOUR! I have either four humans, or four fucking aliens, growing inside me. You better tell me what’s going on!”

Mike was genuinely speechless. His experiment was not meant to work. The hormones shouldn’t be lasting this long, let alone remain strong enough to sustain a pregnancy. Multiples? It should be impossible. And yet, here he was looking at a man that he had a one night stand with, carrying quadruplets. “D-Do you know how far along you are?”

“According to my friend Randy, I should be about half-way now, so I guess around 22 or 23 weeks?”

“Normally for quadruplets, ‘full-term’ is really around 28 weeks, so I guess you won’t be carrying them for much longer?”

“Are those really your words of support?”

“Sorry… Do you reckon you could come back to Australia? I want to check that you, and the babies, are healthy.”

Plus maybe write up some detailed observations for the next paper - for good measure - Mike thought.

“Do you think I’m really going to be cleared to fly in my condition?”

“Bring your friend Randy. He’s a doctor, get him to medically clear you.”

“Are you crazy?!”

“Clearly I am, because a man shouldn’t be pregnant, and yet here you are, so I might as well keep on going and see it in the flesh.”

Yazan chuckled, but it cut short with a jab at his side from one of the babies. He brought the camera down to show the ripples across the belly. Mike was mesmerised. He did that to the hottest male doctor from the United States.

“Look, I’ll think about it and let you know, alright?”

“Thanks, Yazan. But please, don’t be a stranger...”

“Alright, Mike. Chat soon.”

***

Randy was walking through the hospital wards when he decided to slip by Yazan’s office. He couldn’t quite believe it when he did the ultrasound of Yazan’s belly. Four babies? How was this even possible? Is Yazan intersex? Is this an ectopic pregnancy? Surely the pregnancy would not be viable beyond the first trimester, yet he’s now about 24 weeks along based on when he went to the conference in Sydney?

All these thoughts were swirling around in his head, but there was one thought that kept springing to mind: I want to be there for him.

Randy has always wanted kids for as long as he could remember. When he realised he was gay as a teen, it was one of the first things he worried about in the process of telling friends and eventually his family. How would he become a father?

Yazan being pregnant - weird as it was to say out loud - gives Randy an option. He had no idea whether Yazan wanted to keep the kids or give them up for adoption. If he says he doesn’t want them, Randy was more than ready to become the four babies’ father.

Randy got to Yazan’s office and knocked.

“Come in!”

Randy walked in and saw Yazan leaning against a bench. He was wearing one of the last sweaters that could stretch tightly across his bump. There was no denying that he was pregnant. He could even see his pecs look slightly perkier than before.

Maybe Yazan is intersex?

“When you’re done gawking at me, you can answer my question!” Yazan said.

“Oh, sorry Yaz! It’s just…”

“Yeah, I know, it’s pretty weird.” Yazan smirked at Randy. Randy smiled back.

Randy’s newest thought? I think I want to have kids with Yazan.

[gilverrwrites]

would love to hear more of ur thoughts of jason... ANY jason thoughts, virgin, getting pegged, dom, on top on bottom, angry, emotional, loving, clingy...

any jason thoughts are appreciate tenfold pls i love the way you write its so sensual and enjoyable (//ω//)

Virgin!Jason/Sex Worker!Reader, 1.9K Words Why thank you anon, you're too kind. It’s funny you sent this in because I have been thinking about Jason a lot recently. Bit of a an odd one actually, I’ve been thinking about how easily he could get hooked on OFs or something similar. Stay with me here...

‘Jason loves cars, and girls, and getting into fights…’

The problem is, ever since he came back, he doesn’t know how to talk to or act around women.

Think about it. He was a teenage boy when he died, still going through puberty, never truly finding closure on all those changes. Now he’s a man.

A man with emotions, and desires, and urges that he doesn’t understand and has no idea how to satiate. The not knowing makes him nervous, angry even.

The first and only time Roy tried the “Have you met Jay?” line it was painful. Like giving water to a hydrophobe. Dying of thirst, wanting it so bad, but his hands are shaking, he can barely even make eye contact, let alone hold a conversation. Or touch her. Man, he wanted to touch her, she had such a pretty smile and glowing skin and the most brilliant laugh. He wound up muttering a ‘sorry, bye.’ To the floor and walking out. When Roy finally caught up, he got one hell of an earful. Yelling was all Jay could do not to start throwing punches he'd regret later. Roy had only had the best of intentions after all.

It was Dick who’d mentioned that the posters of half-naked women splayed across car bonnets or dowsed in lite beer might be a bit distasteful. He’d wanted to argue, if they’re bad, why do they sell them? But he was smarter than that really, and Dick was right, if he ever did bring a girl home, he wouldn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. Though the mattress without a bed frame and the lack of amenities might do that anyway. Regardless, he takes them down and throws them out along with a stack of vintage Playboys from his youth. He’ll rely on the words of D. H. Lawrence, Cleland and the likes for that sort of thing.

And just reading works, for a while. But there are itches books just can’t scratch, and like hell is he mortified himself trying to talk to women in public again. He’d almost gotten up the courage once since the debacle with Roy.

At the library, looking for classics and checking out their damaged clearance sale. He’d noticed her the moment he’d entered, such a sweet, sharp woman, teaching seniors how to use computers. He’d lingered for a while, until the class was over, determined to make small talk with her while getting his books checked out, but then he remembered what he was checking out. Immediately he was flooded with doubt. She'd think he was a perv. He put his books on the put-back trolly and left without a word.

That same night, feeling sorry for himself is when he falls down the rabbit hole of social media. Scrolling endlessly through post after post of girls on Instagram. His own page consisted of only a faceless gym selfie and the engine of a bike he’d been restoring, but he followed a lot of accounts. Book reviewers, muscle car enthusiasts, musicians. It wasn’t purely coincidental that most of those content creators were women.

His heart jumps out of his chest when he gets a notification, that doesn’t happen often, and usually it’s from Dick sending him funny dog videos, or Steph tagging him memes but this one is a ‘follow back’.

He’d been following you for a while, liking all your posts and occasionally commenting. Nothing flirty, he didn’t wanna seem like one of those creeps saying gross, inappropriate shit, but that often resulted in him sounding lame for praising the high amount of protein in your home-cooked meal, or something else mundane. Today he’s pointed out how nice the clouds in the back of your group selfie looked but apparently that was enough to get your attention.

You like his two photos and drop him a message. “Hadn’t noticed but you’re right. Those clouds were very pretty.”

‘Not as pretty as you.’ He types out then quickly deletes it. You were very pretty, exactly the kind of girl he would choke up around. You didn't have a lot of followers, and your posts weren't really curated to a theme or gimmick. You just documented your life. For some reason though Jason had been drawn to you ever since your smiling face had popped up in his recommended following.

Instead replies with a very creative “Yeah”

“Sorry, hope I’m not bothering you. You just seem cool.”

“You’re not bothering me.” He answers instantly, not wanting to put you off but unsure what to say.

“Good! If you’re ever feeling chatty, hmu 😊”

Easier said than done, but he massively appreciates the offer. He just doesn’t know how to take you up on it. Looking for inspiration he looks at your account again, noticing a link in your bio that he’s sure hadn’t been there when he’d first followed you. He does a spit take when it leads him to an OF page. No, that definitely was not there before.

Now he’s even more unsure what to do. Would it be weird for him to subscribe after you’d just spoken to him? Or was that what you wanted? Surely you put it there because you want subscribers, right? Should he ask you or would that make it more awkward? Why is taking down drug lords and killer clowns less scary and confusing than this?

He stews on the conundrum for a while, but eventually, he takes the plunge, signing up with the same username as his Instagram, irlgothamzombie. He could spend all night looking at your posts, and he does. Judging by your post history, and low interactions, you’ve not been doing this long, but he circles through the same handful of posts over and over, keeping his own hands full throughout. wink wink.    

He can’t get enough of looking at your body, squeezed into little costumes, draped in colourful lingerie, naked and stark against your bedspread. There’s one video in particular he can’t get enough of though, it’s you in a lacy green slip, giggling as you play with the hem, teasing the camera with a cheeky glint in your eye but never really showing anything. He plays it over and over again, fisting his cock as he images it’s his hands sneaking up your thighs, making you laugh over and over until he cums into his hand.

Even though the caption is specifically asking him your followers what type of content they’d like to see you make while in that outfit, he only comments “nice wallpaper” and logs out, cheeks burning with shame as he cleans up.

It’s a few days before he works up the nerve to log back in. He’s still high on adrenaline after a face-off with Black Mask. Feeling bold and looking for release, it’s the first thing he does when he gets home but seeing two notifications from you is like having a bucket of ice water thrown at him.

You’d replied to his comment, “😂Hadn’t noticed but you’re right.”

When he hadn’t said anything else you’d sent him another DM. “Losing interest, or are you just the shy type?”

“The ‘you’re so hot I don’t know how to talk to you type.’” He’d read through the other comments you’d gotten, that felt tame. A little out of his comfort zone, but safe enough to press send.

“That’s actually so sweet.” You get back to him quickly, sending multiple messages at once. Hopefully that means you’re glad to hear from him. “You can talk to me however you like.”

“You never said what you wanted to see me do?”

“If you’re comfy answering.”

Shitshitshit. His throat is painfully dry as he thinks up a response. “idk but I like it on.”

“green is my favorite color.”

“looks good on you”

“Do you want to see me fuck myself while wearing it?” The question is accompanied by a racy picture of you wearing the slip in reference that you hadn’t posted anywhere else.

YES! “yeah”

“Should I use my hands, or something naughtier?”

“whatever you like best” it probably seems like such a cop-out answer but he means it. “want you to enjoy it as much as I will”

“Can’t tell if you’re my nicest subscriber or not, but I got you, sweet stuff 😉”

The next day you upload the results, and he watches it straight away, not that he’d been waiting for it or anything. He’s already half-hard when he hits the play button. Then you say “This one’s specifically for you irlgothamzombie” straight into the camera with a wink and he can’t get his dick out of his pants fast enough.

He tries to take it slow, wanting to enjoy the whole video but that’s easier said than done. He’s leaking pre-cum minutes into watching as you run your hands along your body, dipping your fingers between your legs, over your covered nipples but never revealing anything.

His resolve wavers when you start to rub yourself through the fabric, cooing and moaning as you build friction. He bites his lip so hard to ground himself that it starts to bleed.

Then you bring out the big guns, he doesn’t know what it’s called, but it’s some kind of toy. Long, with a round head that you hold to your clit and fuck, do you enjoy it. You’re practically drooling as you buck your hips and roll your eyes back. Your orgasm is loud and wet, and he almost breaks until he realises there are still a few minutes left.

You keep going, so he does too. Holding out until the very end. Is it possible that sex could feel better than this? Wild.

He messages you first this time.

He buys the green slip and the matching thong, still dirty after you’d cum all over them. Under the bawdy smell of sex he can just make scent of your perfume. It's intoxicating. Maybe he should ask you what brand it is so he can get a bottle and spray it all over his apartment.

He spends all day in bed, clutching the delicate lace to his chest and sucking on the underwear until his dick aches and he physically can’t cum again without hurting himself.

He isn’t sure how he feels about your return PO Box being in Blüdhaven. It's exciting and terrifying to think that you're real, and out in the world, within driving distance even. He could just bump into you one day. He could probably track you down if he wanted to but he kind of likes the comfort of you being behind a screen.

Eventually, he buys every service you offer, custom videos, a dick rating, your private Snapchat, and he practically purges your wish list. Not just the sexy stuff, but the gift cards, the clothes, the collectables, anything you want.

With every purchase you send him your thanks, ask him about his day, his interests both sexual and in general. You offer him services for free or heavily discounted, expressions of your gratitude for all he’s done but he always declines.

A part of him believes that you’d still talk to him if he stopped financing you, you're practically two steps away from asking for it outright, and he knows that. But the money is like a safety net. Like his helmet; a barrier between him and heartbreaking humiliation. As long as he keeps doling out the cash, he’ll never have to know if you’d reject him without it.

[rosenclaws]

congrats on 600 followers!!! so happy for you hun 💗 for your celebration, can i request “This will be the last time you lie to me.” with worst!logan?

warnings: reader is a human and doesn't know logan is a mutant

600 follower drabble masterlist

a/n: I'm recovering from arcane s2 act 2 but I love me some logan angst so I hope u enjoy!!

Hours. That's how long he made you wait. Again. Stuck at a restaurant getting pitiful looks from the waitstaff after your boyfriend stood you up. This was how many times now?

When you first met Logan you knew he wasn't your typical guy. He wasn't going to be that perfect boyfriend who you take home to your parents and you were okay with that. He worked construction and had a weird roommate. He held more alcohol than you thought a man could and he never seemed to get sick.

You knew who he was. Or you thought you did. You didn't expect big dates or grand gestures from Logan. He still made you happy. He loved you in his own Logan way. But when he promised you something you thought he'd be there.

Rain checking dates over and over without reason. At first it was fine but then it kept happening. He made up a variety excuses but you were fed up. He had work, family emergency, vet emergency. What isn't he telling you? All you wanted was for him to be honest.

You call the waiter over and pay for your side of fries. You weren't even hungry anymore. The rain is pouring down onto the pavement as you exit the restaurant.

You took the train here but they've stopped running by now. Normally Logan would pick you up because he hates when you take public transportation. You'd turn on the radio and he'd grumble about how bad the music of today is but you'll catch him humming along sometimes. You miss that. You tighten your jacket around you as you step into the pouring rain. Deciding to walk home tonight. The rain soaks your clothes to the bone. You're cold and shivering and you're just sad.

"What the hell are you doing?" A voice shouts at you through the rain. That's Logan. Heavy footsteps pound the towards you but you ignore them.

It doesn't take long for him to catch up to you. The rain stops and you look up to see an umbrella above you. The rain now hitting his clothes as he makes sure you're covered. He's all dressed up but it's too late.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous it for you to be out here?" You roll your eyes and ignore him. He doesn't stop following you.

"I'm sorry for missing our date." He watches your face, no change in your reaction.

"I was on my way I swear but the Wade called and I..."

"Enough!" You snap.

"Logan I like you, I really like you but you just keep lying!" You frustrated tears mix with the rain as you yell at him.

“This will be the last time you lie to me.” Logan catches your arm before you can storm off. He knows he's been a dick. He has been lying but not for the reason you think. He's trying to protect you.

"Sweetheart please, let me explain." He begs. You're the one good thing he's found and he won't lose you.

"I. I'm..." He can't find the words. How does he explain it all. You don't know who he is, what he is.

"Goodbye Logan."

"I'm a mutant!" He blurts out. "I. I'm an X-Man" Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. Of course you heard of the X-men. Who they were. But they're gone now. He can see you don't believe him so he holds his hands up. Claws shoot out of his knuckles making you gasp.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" You gently run your fingers around the sharp blades.

"Destruction follows me wherever I go sweetheart. Mutants, we're never safe. I wanted to keep you safe and as selfish as it sounds I couldn't walk away from you." The claws slowly sink back into his skin. It heals up before your very eyes. Your hand cups his face, his eyes closing at your touch. He pulls you close. The umbrella shielding both of you from the rain now.

"I'm not afraid of you, or what being a mutant means Logan." You're human, you don't have any special powers or anything but you do know how to love and you love Logan.

"No more hiding okay." You grab his hand and he takes it, thanking whatever power that you're still here. He doesn't have to hide who he is, you're not afraid.

[sokuly419]

So now that I cried, sat in relative silence for about an hour, and had some time to sleep… I think I can make some kind of choppy ramble about Act 2. It’s gonna be long… sorry.

First, let’s just appreciate the cheap shots.

Jinx calling Vi “Fat Hands” after just absolutely dogging on each other.

Vi calling Cait a “rich, unhinged mongoose” and Cait following it up with “angry oil slick.”

Cait cracking Vi in the face with the butt of her rifle (seriously, girl, stop it) and giving the “I’m really sorry but you asked” shrug.

Vi spitting on Cait’s cheek just for her to wipe it across her lips.

Vi telling Ambessa to “just shut the fuck up.”

Guys. This act was pure pettiness and lovely.

Okay, I think a handful of people need to be reminded there was a time jump of several months. I’ve been seeing a lot of people accusing Cait of immediate rebound with Maddie and an immediate switch when she reunited with Vi. More on that later.

The way I started out mad as fuck because, well, Maddie. I did laugh at the way Cait kept pulling away every time Maddie tried to get intimate. Girl was feeling all sorts of guilt about it I think. When Cait made a comment about not thinking about it going on so long, it could either be taken as whatever she had going on with Maddie or about the martial law. I have a feeling they were going for the martial law situation, but I saw it as either. Either way, there’s some kind of realization that happened.

Honestly, Jinx was dishing it out the whole time and I loved it. All of it. She’s just a little shit. Jinx was never my favorite, but like I said before, I do like her. No hate here. And her relationship with Isha and Sevika? Come on. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Now, I’ve never played the game and I don’t ever plan to but I have listened to the in game dialogue or have at least heard some of it. And I’m so glad we got Jinx calling Vi “Fat Hands.”

Vi was a damn mess. I mean, we all knew it was gonna happen. But seeing her pale and sunken? Even after Jinx shows up? Ooooof.

The banter with Jinx was lovely. They’re just sisters and it shows.

And we finally got to see her actually smile. Only for it to be ripped away. Again.

Now… I want to address the seemingly sudden switch for a lot of things, particularly Cait and Vi.

There was a time jump of “months.” Even if it wasn’t flat out said, you can tell by the length of Vi’s hair. It doesn’t get that much longer in even a single month or even two or three, guys. On average it’s about 6” per year. Even in the trailers and teasers we got before s2 even started, I knew there was going to be a time jump at some point based on that alone. I remember kinda looking at my wife like, “Vi’s hair is… longer. Wonder when that happens.” I’m thinking this jump is around 8-10 months after Act 1

Anyhow, the characters had time to think and do things in that time. Cait probably finally started to realize her actions do, in fact, have consequences. And seeing Vi again was the final nail in that coffin. We watched her fold quickly. And that little “cupcake” sealed it. And before we start getting into the “I can’t believe they’re working together again so quick after what Cait did” let’s take a second to think about the Act 3 teaser. They’re gonna argue. 100% things are going to get thrown in Cait’s face. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine.

And then there’s Vi. People are dogging on her for essentially losing a physical interaction with Cait when she fought in a pit for a living for those several months. To start, it was an ambush and took her by surprise (Jinx was also able to land one hell of a slap by taking her by surprise too). Cait also had a weapon at her disposal and used it (seriously, can we stop hitting Vi with the butt of the rifle?). Now this is just me throwing some realness into all of this, but Vi was drinking a lot and falling into alcoholism. When you stop drinking, you feel weaker and sick and foggy (at least that how it was for me). I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that was something to do with how easy it was for Cait to take her down. Vi was likely going through some withdrawals. Again, that’s just some speculation and giving some real life attributes.

Now for them to trust and work together again so quickly? I think it was at a level of just needing to get something done and complete the “mission.” At least at first. The amount of care and love Cait still has for Vi was so obvious. Which brings me to… y’all should really listen to Oil & Water by PVRIS. It’s been confirmed a while ago (if I’m remembering correctly) that it’s about Cait and Vi from primarily Cait’s POV. Vi clearly still loves Cait but she’s also still, rightfully, pissed off and hurt.

Can Jayce just… leave shit alone? Just once. For the sake of everyone. Doing that to Viktor was uncalled for and now he caused even more problems.

I’m still not ready to talk about Isha. Because what the actual fuck. The music and flashback montage started and I knew… I just knew. The tears started and then the explosion and then I was full on sobbing. Not cool. I’m still in absolute shock.

Vi having to watch Vander die AGAIN. Give the girl a damn break, please.

Also, where’s Ekko and Heimerdinger? We need the unproblematic ones to calm everything down a few notches. Ekko just wants his tree fixed, man.

My thoughts on Act 3? I’m still hoping we get the Caitvi sex scene. But I’m also so scared someone else is going to die now. Like absolutely terrified.

“Hope you got a chance to, you know, before…”

I will simply give up on everything. Full on rage quit and I’ll end up like Vi at the bottom of that pit.

Someone please tell me I’m wrong and looking too far into it.

Or Jinx sacrificing herself? That’s a popular opinion I’ve been seeing.

I need answers. I need Ekko’s tree fixed and Caitvi to just end up together without question.

And this concludes this round of Arcane season 2 Act 2 rambling.

[creepycranberry]

Sweet man

Rafe Cameron x fem! Reader

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drugs, addiction. Cursing. Not proofread. I think that’s it.

->->->->->

Your friends meant well, they really did. they tried their best to watch after you and warn you about him but every time they tried you countered their points and ignored their pointed looks when you simply told them that they didn’t know him like you did.

JJ was so pissed at you constantly, Kie would judge you silently and John B would keep his mouth shut. You felt like you were walking on eggshells every time your phone went off, Rafes face lit up on the screen.

It all came to a head one night when Rafe called you during a movie night. He knew how your friends felt about him, he knew from the moment pope saw both of y’all together in a spot on the beach that was meant to be secluded and the usually levelheaded boy shook his head in disappointment.

“JJs gonna freak.” He had said, thinking he was out of Rafes earshot.

“I can’t help it, Pope.”

“Can’t or don’t want to?” Pope argued, it stung to hear him so blatantly disdainful of your actions.

“He’s different with me.”

“I’m sure he is.” Pope sighed.

Rafe didn’t care what your friends thought of him, they could fuck themselves for all he cared, but he could see the tears forming in your eyes and it made his stomach twist and his heart soften.

And since then if he knows you’re with your friends, he keeps his distance.

But tonight was different, he was sad and drunk, you could hear it in his voice as you ignored the pointed looks your friends were giving you.

“I need to see you.” Rafes voice was rough from exhaustion and his words were slurred by the effect of whatever he drank.

“I’m busy, hon. Is everything okay?” You sat up off the couch, JJ muttered under his breath as he wiped the aggravated expression on his face.

“You mean a lot to me,” he slurred, loud music was being played in the background, getting farther away as the seconds drew on, “you have to know that.”

“I know, baby,” JJ gagged dramatically and John B slapped his arm, you roll your eyes and make your way into the next room, “is something wrong?”

“I love you.” He pouts, his voice thick with drunken emotion.

“Oh yeah?” You smile, leaning against the porch railing.

“Yeah, I just- Top was being stupid and he was drunk and everyone was drunk and I might have been a little drunk but- that-that- it’s not the point.”

“What is the point?” You ask him and he sighs deeply.

“Well Top said something and he was so- I don’t think he knew what he was saying but we kinda got into it and he said- he just-” Rafe stops speaking abruptly and you hear a slight hiccup on the other end of the call, “I just really need to see you, I-i wanna hold you.”

“Rafe-” you start.

“You’re so nice to hold, did you know that? I love holding you. Just come here, let me hold you.” He pouts.

“Rafe, I’m with my friends right now, I can’t just leave, they’d be pissed if I flaked on them.” You reason and Rafe groans loudly.

“Just one time, baby. I miss you, I need to hold you. I-I just need to be able to- just please come over.”

“I can’t, Rafe. They’re already pissed that you called me tonight, but tomorrow morning I will be there to nurse your hangover and to hold you like my life depends on it.”

The silence on the other end of the phone call feels never ending and then the call ends and you’re left sitting there, wondering what the hell had gotten into him tonight.

You head back to the living room, taking back your spot on the couch.

“What’d he want?” JJ asks bitterly and pope flicks him on the temple.

“He just missed me.” You shrugged, refocusing on the tv.

“I’m sure he did.” JJ sighs.

“JJ, come on.” Sarah nudges his leg from her place on the floor.

“What do you mean ‘come on’? Are we just going to keep acting like absolutely nothing is happening? Like we don’t have a problem with this shit?”

“We don’t have a problem with it, Jaje. You do.” Kie sighs and JJ shakes his head.

“I don’t see why you guys think it’s better to just lie to her to protect her feelings, were her friends, we’re supposed to tell her the truth whether we think she’ll like it or not!” JJ insists and you shuffle uncomfortably in your seat.

“We don’t have a problem with her dating him, we just have a problem with him. She knows that.” Pope shrugs.

“Can you guys not talk about me like I’m not sitting right here?” You mutter under your breath and JJ nods.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He says, turning himself so his feet are sat on the couch in front of him and he’s facing you, “I hate your boyfriend.”

“I know, JJ.”

“And it’s your life so you’re free to do whatever you want, we just don’t get why you’re doing whatever you want- with him.” He explains further.

“Because I like him.” You shrug.

“That’s the part we’re not quite understanding.” JJ clarifies.

“I like him. He’s sweet to me and he always defends me. He respects my emotions and my wishes and he never lets his emotions about the people around me affect how he treats me and I- I like him.” You shrug.

“I genuinely find that hard to believe.” Kie mutters and you scoff.

“Well that makes sense for you kie.”

“What does that mean?” She asks and you shrug.

“Nothing, you’re just a very cynical person.”

“I’m cynical for a reason.”

“I don’t doubt that, I just wish that your trust in my judgment could overshadow that cynicism sometimes.” You argue and she sighs heavily.

“You’re too naive to have good judgement.” Kie accuses and you roll your eyes.

“Okay, Kie.” You sigh, staring at the ceiling.

“We just really don’t want you to get hurt.” Sarah says in an attempt to diffuse the tension.

“I get that, I understand that much, I use don’t understand why you guys won’t trust me on this.”

“We trust you.” Pope says and your skeptical look makes him sigh, “we really do. We’re just kind of wary about him.”

“I know I just- he’s so sweet with me. I feel so protected with him and he’s really different when he’s with me.” You try using your regular argument for ending these discussions but today they aren’t having it.

“I believe you when you say that he has a good streak, I get that, but it’s his bad streak we’re more worried about. What happens when you guys have your first fight? Or when he sees you talking to a different guy and he gets jealous?” Sarah responds calmly.

“We’ve had arguments before, he never lets them escalate past arguments and he’s seen me with different friends of mine that are guys and I mean- he is a bit tenser but the tension diffuses so quickly and he’s just sweet as can be.”

You feel like you’re trying to convince them the tooth fairy is real. They’re all staring at you in utter disappointment and disbelief.

“He’s crazy is what he is.” JJ pipes up and you roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time.

“JJ, I’m really trying. And he is too. He respects my relationship with you guys, even if he’s not y’all’s biggest fan.”

“That is a wild understatement.” John B retorts and you narrow your eyes at him, he speaks up before you can send a snarky remark his way, “he’s reckless and sometimes a danger to even himself. He used to be a raging addict, and even if he’s not still a total dick, he still is the fucking worst.”

“I don’t think you or JJ can say a thing concerning recklessness and he’s been clean for like a year now. He’s doing his best.”

“Say what you want about him, it’s your life so do what you want,” JJ exhales through his nose, “but just know that he’s one bump away from homicidal.”

You stare at each of your friends, the judgmental looks on their faces enough to upset and anger you.

“Why can’t you just trust me? I know him, I know him fully. I know he can be so genuinely sweet and-and the most loving and he has such potential to be so good and he’s trying to get there.” You look at JJ as you begin to tear up in desperation, he doesn’t meet your eyes, his gaze trained on the couch cushion between the two of you, “whatever. No matter how I or he tries to prove it you won’t believe me.”

You get off of the couch and grab your bag from by the coffee table, your friends calling after you.

The only one who gets up to run after you is JJ. He catches up somewhat effortlessly and loops his fingers around your wrist, “sweetheart, come on.”

“You won’t listen to me. I’m not gonna sit in there and listen as you guys insult and degrade my boyfriend. I can’t do it, JJ.” The tears are flowing consistently now and JJ can’t stand seeing you cry but he knows that isn’t any reason to agree with you.

“We just want you safe. I want you safe. We’ve seen the shit he’s capable of and it’s not pretty. He can be reckless and violent and we don’t want that for you. Sweetheart you’ve gotta understand that.” He says, reaching for your other wrist but you shake your head.

“But I’ve also seen what he’s capable of. He can be so good JJ and he really trying, please just- even if you don’t believe me, just trust me.” You plead and JJ just stares at you for a moment. Tears framing his eyes as he tries in earnest to see Rafe as anything that can possibly good for you.

“I’m sorry.” His voice wavers as he drops your hands, “I want to see what you do, I don’t want to spend my energy hating someone who makes you happy but you have to understand-“

“I understand I just- I have to go.” You sniffle and he nods, watching you as you walk away from the house, cursing before dejectedly heading back inside.

->->->->->

Rafe wasn’t home when you got there so you sat on the porch swing, attempting to self soothe as you waited for him.

When his truck pulls up he doesn’t notice you there for a minute as he attempts to find his keys in his pocket.

When he looks up he sees you, curled up on the porch swing.

“Weren’t you drunk?” You sniff and he shakes his head.

“I stopped drinking after I called you, drank some water and waited until I was sober enough to drive, what happened?” He asks, staring at you like you fell from the sky.

“They hate you.” You mumble.

“Who? Your friends?”, You nod and sniffle again, wiping your eyes for the umpteenth time, “let’s go inside, baby.”

He offers you his hands and practically lifts you off of the porch swing, his hand landing on the small of your back as he led you inside and through the house until you got to his bedroom.

He sat you on the bed while he changed, stopping every so often to kiss you on the cheek or forehead.

When he sits back next to you he pulls you into his chest, “what happened, baby?”

“You called and the I went inside and they just started saying all this shit. I’m not even upset that they don’t like you I just wish they trusted my judgment a bit more.”

“What did they say?” He asks, his voice hardening.

“Rafe-“

“What did they say, sweetness?” His voice softens once again as he refocuses on you, moving the hair out of your face.

“That you’re reckless and violent and that when you were an addict you were-“

“Yeah. Yeah I was.” He sighs, “I get that they don’t like me, that’s fine, and far be it from me to defend those assholes,” you give him a look that’s almost a pout and he backtracks, “I know, let me finish. Everything they said is true, in fact I was probably worse than they described me. And despite how I feel about them, they do really care about you. I don’t think trust they’ve ever questioned their trust in you but me-“

“But you’re trying to be better.”

“I am, sweets, I really am. But that doesn’t change what they saw. They don’t trust me with you. That’s all it is.” He shrugs, kissing your forehead and rubbing the side of your arm.

“You do realize you just spent the last five minutes defending them, right?” You smile and he exhales, letting his head hang dramatically, feigning shame.

“I would rather my ego take a hit than your feelings, baby.” He sighs and you smile wide.

“You’re so sweet.” You gush and he groans, falling back onto the bed and dragging you down with him as you laugh.

“No, I’m not sweet. I’m brooding and surly.”

“Maybe to everyone else but to me you’re just the sweetest.” You smile.

“That’s because you’re impossible to be even a little mean to.” He turns on his side to face you, his head rested on his arm.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that all it takes is those pretty eyes looking up at me and suddenly all the mean bones in my body turn to mush, making it impossible for me to be mean to you.” He jokes, pulling you closer to him by your waist and enveloping you in his warmth.

Everything slips away as he pushes your chin up to reach your lips, his hands making their way into your hair. You hum against his lips, so perfectly content. Once you pull away the blush fans across your cheeks and you hide in his neck.

His chest vibrates against you as he laughs softly at you and your flustered state.

“You’re so damn precious.” He sighs.

“I love you.” You smile shyly and he sighs, his eyes soft and so happy to be holding your gaze.

“I love you too.”

[vi-as-in-violet]

i think the main feeling i have about this season so far is that i crave to see MORE, but not in a good way. i love the themes this season is working with, i love the conflicts, i love the characters but it feels like i don't see enough of the story playing out and it leaves me feeling like something is missing.

I wanted to SEE and experience the underground resistance growing, i wanted to actually see how Jinx became a symbol and how that united the underground. I wanted to see the process of it and how it affected her! I feel like the writers really should've gone with the traditional show-don't-tell rule here instead of just showing us the aftermath which left me with exactly zero emotions about such crazy impressive and important events. The entire Underground got united (!!!!) but we saw zero of the unification process and got like two scenes before they were all arrested, released and then the entire revolution idea was completely forgotten and not addressed once in the rest of the act (as far as I recall).

Jinx was clearly struggling with the newfound worship, so much so she went into HIDING. how must've she felt knowing that so many people find hope in her when she sees herself as a literal jinx? how did she deal with becoming people's hope instead of their curse? I wanted to see her work through this so bad since that is what Arcane has always been good at, it's what season one did so well - it walked you through the emotions and motives and therefore, the conclusion to personal plot lines felt SATISFYING and left massive impression. this was completely missing for me this act for most plot lines

Same goes for pitfighter!Vi and her descent into self-destructive hell. We don't get to see the emotional fall out of her being fucking punched and left lying on the ground by the only person she thought she had left - we just got a montage showing the aftermath of her spiraling. which is cool but it left me with feeling pretty much nothing about it all because seeing the conclusion to her struggling without the build-up just fell flat for me. i was looking forward this specific internal conflict of the protector archetype with nothing left to protect and therefore completely losing themselves before finding their purpose again SO much and it ended up being completely brushed over. i wanted to be able to pick Vi's thoughts apart when she was at her lowest point in life since her time in the jail and see how her behaviour and relationship with people/alcohol/violence changes in the process. like later in act 2 when she punches Isha, she doesn't even react (holy shit?). that is SO far from the Vi we saw in act 1 of this season and it feels super out of character because we did not actually get to SEE her behaviour and priorities changing - we can obviously figure out the reason and understand why she ended up this way but since we weren't actually shown how it happened, it still initially felt like it came out of nowhere and majorly ooc for the character we've known so far

and don't even let me start with Cait and her dictator arc. I was getting ready for the emotional fall out and internal conflict and the political powerplay with Embessa but we got SO LITTLE of it. i could go on and on about this but i feel like a lot of people might agree her dictator arc was pretty underdeveloped so I am not going to discuss it further (plus the immediate switch when she met Vi again was just ??? because we can't really see how she feels about this entire thing with the exception of her thinking Embessa is too brutal and that it seems to be weighting on her. PLUS she has at least a situationship with that sunshine enforcer and even tho she is clearly mentally elsewhere, we have no reason to think she is still pinning after Vi?).

I'm not even going to address Jayce because What.

On a positive note, I think Victor's arc has been handled pretty damn well. But aside from that, this season just leaves me craving more and it is quite clear to me the writers absolutely did not have enough time (nine episodes is not a lot) to develop the story they wanted to portray in full.

Now, I watched the latest three episodes while on a plane and since the act is so plot heavy, i might have totally missed or misunderstood something, lemme know if that is the case

i am super interested in how's everyone feeling about this so feel free to add your thoughts!!!

[garciaasfluffypen]

just be here

pairing: jennifer jareau x fem!reader word count: warnings: jj had a rough case but nothing is mentioned, alcohol consumption, jj just needs comfort

2am. it was 2am and your phone was ringing. and emily prentiss’ name was on the screen.

fuck.

you shot up in a fit of horror, accidentally throwing your phone across the bed in the process. grabbing at it you answered it, putting it on speaker with shaky hands. 

“em?”

emily could hear the fright in your voice just from that one word. “everythings okay. she’s okay. i just wanted to let you know we had a really bad case.” 

“oh.” you let out a sigh of relief. “what happened? can you tell me?”

“it involved kids.” 

“when is she going to be home?”

“i’m sending her home in five with a strict rule to not do any paperwork this weekend. luke is gonna drive her, she’s not in a state to drive right now. take care of her tonight. please. ”

“yes ma’am.”

you practically jumped out of bed and made your way to the living room, grabbing your favorite cardigan as you did so. you knew she’d crawl right into your arms when she got home, so it was probably better for you to be out in the living room so she’d be able to get to comfort as fast as possible. even if it meant you’d fall asleep on the couch waiting for her. everyone on the team knew where you kept the extra keys, you told all of them as a safety measure when scratch started targeting the team last year in fear that he would come for you. you hoped that luke would know to go for the extra keys in the case jj wasn’t able to grab hers and you fell asleep. which if you were being real, was probably about to happen. you curled up into the couch, pulling a blanket over your lap and leaning up against the back, hoping that you’d be able to stay awake until jj got home. the ride wasn’t too long from what you remembered, but it was 2am and you were tired as hell. 

you must have dozed off since you were awoken yet again, this time by the sound of keys jangling in the door. jj shuffled into the apartment, searching for you immediately. wordlessly, jj kicked off her shoes and came over to the couch, laying on top of you and digging her head into your shoulder. you rubbed your hand up and down her back in a soothing motion, your other hand going to cradle the back of her head. you don’t know how long you sat there, but you waited until jj was ready to talk before saying anything. sometimes, all she needed was some silence and to be in your arms until she felt ready to talk. 

“are you in the headspace to talk about it?” jj shook her head no. “what do you want me to do?”

“just… be here?” 

her voice was quiet and raspy from holding back tears all night, not entirely sure if she could let herself break down. she just felt… numb. so much had happened in the past week that she didn’t want to talk about, not even think about it. but she couldn’t help it. the faces of the girls affected by the unsub flashed across her vision every time she shut her eyes. she had made herself stay awake to avoid the horrors that threatened to haunt her dreams, and she felt like a dead girl walking. there wasn’t any possible way she would have gotten home by herself if it wasn’t for emily forcing luke to take her home roughly an hour ago. she was so strong, cases shouldn’t be affecting her like this. yet here she was, needing anything but to be strong. 

she was better than this, she knew how to face the horrors of the modern world. she knew how to stare some of the evilest people down and get them to share their twisted fantasies. so why was she so bent up over the cases that involved kids? was it because she saw herself in the kids, seeing the same patterns she went through with the horrors? was it because she wanted to keep them sheltered from the scary things of the real world? knowing what was out there, what was at stake for the children if they went down the wrong path… she didn’t want these kids to turn out like she did. 

so why was it when they got cases like these, she felt so small and helpless?

you could tell she was slipping out of her normal facade of being strong and independent from the second jj walked in the door. admittedly, it had been a long time since you saw jj give away all control. it was rare that she let you take the lead, but you knew tonight she needed it. she needed to empty her brain and just be. to relinquish just for the night, to let you tell her what to do. you didn’t have many chances to be the guiding light for her, but there were nights like tonight where she needed you to be her brain. when the cases got too tough, or hit too close to home, she would need you to be there for her. and you always were, even before you started dating. you had the same routine that you had started back in 2003 when jj began working for the bau, when she let her submissive side take over more often. and tonight, she needed it. you pulled jj back into your arms, letting her squeeze herself into the smallest form she could possibly muster as the two of you sat together on the couch. 

“are you okay to get up and move to the kitchen?” jj silently nodded. “do you want a drink?” 

“please.” 

carefully, you maneuvered yourself off the couch and held out your hand to jj, pulling her up after you. the two of you shuffled into the kitchen and towards the fridge, knowing exactly what jj needed. you grabbed her favorite beer, twisting off the cap and throwing it in the jar you kept on the counter before handing it to her. she took it from you silently, coming to lean up against you as you stood with your back to the counter. you took jj into your arms as she quietly sipped at her beer, images of the case haunting her every time she shut her eyes. your fingers danced up and down the sliver of skin at her hip, placing a small kiss at the top of her head as she let you take most of her body weight. you hated seeing her like this, hurting so bad from cases that she was handed. you knew she couldn’t control it anymore, she hadn’t been able to control it in years, but it still hurt you every time you saw her come home so drained from the cases that hurt her the most. 

a thick yet comforting silence filled the apartment as jj set her now empty beer bottle down on the counter, debating for only a second before going over to the fridge to grab another bottle. her eyes were getting heavy, you could tell she was tired. but per usual, she was fighting sleep because she didn’t want to be haunted by the images she saw from the past week. wordlessly, you grabbed a pan from the cupboard and put it on the stove before making your way to the cabinet, grabbing the ingredients to make some pastina. it was one of the meals that got you through both undergrad and your masters, and unintentionally got jj through the academy. while you were in different branches of psychology, you knew how hard it could be on the brain and how the comfort of the little stars could mend even the smallest of things. 

you felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind, a half empty beer bottle in one of the hands. it was hard for you, knowing how much jj was hurting but not being able to fix it. not being able to stop the horrors that she dealt with on the daily, while you spent all day in a clinic with your biopsychology buddies, studying the lighter side of how the chemicals in the brain interacted with the biology of the human body. you turned slightly to place a kiss on her temple, knowing that all she needed was the comfort that she got simply from being in your arms. you wrapped one of your arms around her, shifting her so she could place her head in the crook of your neck while you cooked. 

by the time the pastina was ready, jj was practically falling asleep while standing. the almost empty beer now sat on the counter, forgotten as jj took the bowl from your hands and made her way to the bedroom, knowing exactly where she wanted to go. you followed her closely, making sure she didn’t spill anything or hurt herself in the process, considering how tired she was. you made sure to grab the pajamas you set out for her before you had gone to bed, waiting patiently for her to shimmy out of her work clothes and sit on the bed. you helped her into her sweatpants, not even attempting to grab her shirt seeing as she fell straight back into the pillows, the light blue pillowcases practically engulfing her. 

you got back into bed next to jj, letting her curl into your side as she held the bowl of pastina as close to her chin as she could muster without spilling anything. you were planning on washing the sheets in the morning anyway, so if they got messy it didn’t really matter to you. as your phone screen flashed, the numbers showed it was now 5:12am, and knowing the type of person she was, jj had most likely been up almost twenty four hours. you were about to say something to her before realizing she had gone limp, small snores coming from her. you smiled to yourself, grabbing the half finished bowl of pastina and setting it on the nightstand, pulling the covers over the two of you. jj subconsciously curled into you, holding you close as you wrapped your arms around her. 

sometimes, all you could do was just hold her. and that was okay.

[carto0ncritter]

Abusive fictional fathers - Robotnik vs. Stolas

I won't be talking about Coconuts here since he's not on screen that much, but know that I feel sorry for the stuff he's been through, poor guy

Robotnik ⮕ Scratch & Grounder

Like... he literally only created these two to use and abuse them and that's crystal clear

When I say Robotnik is an abusive pos, this is what I mean (and this is just some of the physical abuse, don't even get me started on the emotional):

...Okay, that last picture was the last straw. Robotnik's thrist for power has officially outweighted Scratch and Grounder's "value." He felt 0 remorse for throwing them into the lava. Keep in mind, he THOUGHT HE HAD KILLED THEM and DIDN'T CARE AT ALL. Thankfully they were fine. And no the fact that they're robots doesn't make it any less wrong

If you're willing to sacrifice your children for a powerful artefact, then I'm (NOT) sorry to say this, but you're a heartless pos and deserve to be held accountable for your actions. If I were in Scratch and Grounder's shoes, I would have ran the hell away right then and there and found home elsewhere

However, unlike with Stolas and Octavia, at least the narrative doesn't try to convince us that Robotnik loves his sons. Because if he did, he would have tried to change his behavior. Or better, he wouldn't have abused them IN THE FIRST PLACE! AT ALL! No matter what he had gone through! I'm not denying that his mom was a pos to him just like he's a pos to scratch and grounder, but i refuse to see this as an excuse. he should have tried his best to break the cycle of abuse

*sigh* Now I've gotta talk about that stupid bird man... let's just get this over with.

Stolas ⮕ Octavia

Stolas is shown to have been there for Via in her childhood. although we never see them bond over anything, connect emotionally with each other or spend quality time together, we've only got this one nightmare scene. this was the only time stolas was shown to care about octavia

He did his best to calm her down and make her feel safe, then proceeded to break his promise for a booty call. For a childhood "friend" that his father bought for him 25 years ago.

And you're telling me how Stolas didn't realize that bringing Blitzø along in Loo Loo Land is uh... a bad idea that will make his daughter feel even worse?

I HATE the excuse that Stolas was "just clueless." Because anyone with the tiniest bit of common sense would come to the same conclusion: flirting with your booty call in front of your daughter who is a minor and going through emotional hell that happened because you cheated on her mother makes you a horrible and selfish father.

Even worse is that Stolas doesn't learn his lesson and once again neglects Octavia. Stolas is too busy hating his ex wife and gushing over his abuse victim that he can't even be bothered to look for his daughter himself, and instead Loona has to be the one to go find her. And then she literally tells Via how her dad's trying his best and how she should cut him some slack. No. No she shouldn't. Octavia was right to think that Stolas hates Stella more than he loves her because that's what his actions show.

He can hug her all he wants and promise to do better but he has done nothing to even TRY to be better for this poor girl.

Not to mention that Loona is a hypocrite. Blitzø has always been doing his best to be a good dad to her, and she thanks him for saving her life by being a complete bitch. It's been five. Fucking. Years. Of unconditional love and support from Blitzø's side. And what does he get in return? A kick in the balls. Blitzø also got beat up by her and hit with the "if I'm so terrible why don't you replace me" after he rightfully called her out and you're trying to tell me Blitzø was the one in the wrong and how this isn't abusive huh ok then whatever ya say

I won't talk about the upcoming episode much. I honestly just don't have the strength anymore. But to make it as short as possible, Stolas is gonna be treated like an uwu poor sad gay boi and once again choose Blitzø, the guy he r*ped, over his own child.

If you check out the leaked story boards for s2 ep12, you'll see how disgusting it is that Via is spitting nothing but facts and yet she'll be demonized by the writers, Stolas lovers and Stolitz shippers. Just...

Please stop lying, dude. Just stop. You shattered her entire life and neglected her for a guy you abused and never got to know on a level that's deeper than sex. No wonder Via thinks he doesn’t love her anymore. The line above gives me the same vibe as THIS line also they made Stolas not only ACT like a guy who victimizes himself but LOOK that way too

STOP LYING. JUST SHUT UP.

I hate this self-pitying hypocrite sm.

And yeah, I get it: he was put in an arranged marriage (this was clearly a retcon, but whatever floats viv's boat) despite being gay and was sheltered and never had friends, but those are explanations for his behavior, not excuses.

Oh and, to anyone who thinks otherwise: Emotional neglect is a form of abuse.

Closing Thoughts

One important thing that I noticed with both Scratch and Grounder and Octavia, is how none of them feel at home with their fathers. A reliable way to know whether you've failed as a parent or not is to see how your behavior affects your kid(s). How does your behavior make them feel?

Let's see here... *checks notes*

Octavia says how Stolas ruined their family, not Stella and in ep12 she's finally gonna call him out on his bullshit thank god. but unfortunately the toxic gay ship will once again be a priority because it's gay

Scratch and Grounder are terrified of Robotnik's wrath, he constantly makes them feel useless and unwanted, but at the same time, they have no problem betraying him both of them always come back to him, just like how Blitzø doesn't leave his abuser because he wants to feel "loved" and "needed" for once even though Stolas treats him like shit

So yeah, if you made your kid(s) feel this way, you've officially failed as a father.