#what the fuck . i'm dying here
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are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
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day three! Domestic modern fluff because I cant angst for the life of me
#what the fuck it's so fucking hot here is it like 90°F out or something#I'm dying here I feel like those eggs in that pan#ough#kobyluweek2024#kobylu#cobylu#captain koby#koby one piece#one piece koby#captain coby#one piece coby#coby one piece#monkey d luffy#one piece luffy#luffy one piece#one piece#AudrinArt
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super splashfrost times
#splashtail#frostpaw#ok i rewatched one of my favorite movies. here is an unrelated asc rewrite i was considering#i think frostpaw could have found out about reedwhisker sooner#splashfrost are still very close as kids but they start drifting apart when frost switches to med training#and either she finds him by chance soon after he kills reedwhisker and he has to manipulate his way through it#OR reed/curl/splash/frost are all in the forest one day for one reason or another#and splash starts instigating reed and they get into a physical fight and he obviously dies#so it's a secret between the 3 of them#and frostpaw knows it was an accident splashtail of course it was. you're my best friend#in the movie the first death was an accident but in this au curl&splash are just fucking with her the whole time!#curl with better intentions than him of course but they're both still leaving her in the dark about why it really happened#and curlfeather still ends up dying too and frostpaw doesn't know what to do because it couldn't have been splashtail. it was an accident#and things just keep getting worse!#this isn't what i think should have happened instead i'm just having fun#this will make more sense if you've seen super dark times. not that it's related
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Round 6
Round: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
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#detective conan#music#polls#detco posting#my stuff#be grateful that ai wa itsumo didn't end up in the previous round we are off to a strong start with this one#freaking iconic all right#also i swear youtube has something against naifu such BANGERS AND YET!! A CRIME!!!#in the process of making this and 5/5 so far. will this e even more of an impossible choice than the previous round? for me definitely#like wtf did my shuffle do here#at 7 and i'm dying WHAT THE FCK SHUFFLE YOU ARE EVIL#i reached the last one and god MY SHUFFLE IS PURE EVIL#i could only eliminate 1! 1!!!!! OF THESE AND NO FCKIN MORE AND EVEN THAT WITH AN ACHING HEART... perhaps 2 at the worst#i hate you shuffle I HATE YOU BAD SHUFFLE#at this point i'm surprised that mune ga doki doki and unmei no roulette mawashite is not in this round#that would be my death and absolute overkill#what the fuck shuffle#happy struggling everyone#you will suffer with this one for one reason or another me thinks#no more suffering and struggling for y'all i have mercy#no more banger polls this is the last for today#i fear y'all and i as well would die if i did more#what thE ABSOLUTE FCK SHUFFLE
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It has always bothered me, but after watching Arcane I keep thinking more and more about how much the framing of the narrative in Fire Emblem Fates bothers me.
Because the thing is we have very similar situations: Hoshido and Piltover as the privileged parts of these societies, with Nohr and Zaun struggling to get by. But where this unbalance is very clear in Arcane, it's framed SO differently in Fates.
Nohr is in the wrong for doing whatever they can to survive, despite the fact (iirc) they did ask Hoshido for help because they get no damn sunlight in Nohr because of the light and dark dragons or whatever and there's only so much cattle and crops you can get like that. People are dying everyday over there and Hoshido doesn't give a damn, but Nohr is in the wrong for being desperate enough to try and get territory on their side of the continent because they need to feed themselves.
It's insane. The retainers of the royal siblings in Hoshido are all children of nobles. The retainers of the royal siblings in Nohr are all like "oh, this was an assassin trying to kill me to get money to survive so I ended up taking her in", "this boy was trying to rob us to be able to eat and he was going to get executed so I took him under my wing", "I saved her from a gladiator wing and took her under my care", like ???. The difference in conditions is just insane.
Even the royal siblings aren't escaping this because despite being the ones who get the best standing, they had to murder a whole lot of their half siblings because of the sheer amount of women who became Garon's concubines in order to try and ensure themselves and their children a better life. And then they had to kill each other in order to have a chance. THEY WERE CHILDREN. THEY HAD TO KILL THEIR HALF SIBLINGS AS CHILDREN.
Meanwhile in Hoshido the biggest problems the siblings had was that they were insecure or shy or whatever.
And you're expected to go "you're right, Nohr is evil, Hoshido is good". Like... I don't even know, man. What were the writers on, it's insane. And the amount of stuff about Nohr that got censored in localization because it was too heavy due to how dark it got is also like... jesus fucking christ, these people were living in misery and you want to blame them for trying to get themselves a better life since Hoshido won't help? Be for real...
Fates, you would be so good if you were good 😞
#not adding tags to this because i don't want to die but this always makes me insane#like what do you mean i'm not supposed to root for the people who are DYING here#what do you mean i have to be mad that the cozy happy kingdom got attacked bc they refused to help while their neighbours died#it baffles me to this day. i'm a nohr apologist i guess#independently of garon and all the anankos shit like. that's another thing altogether but the conditions already... jesus fuck
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is this too romantic? am I going too far? is there any other way to write romance than all in, all encompassing, perfectly magical? no. this is fine.
#talking to myself as i write#it's so flufffffyyyyyy#i should write romcoms i'd really be great at it#except someone would inexpicably die or get shot out of nowhere#and then ya know#“dying in the rain talking about theology”#classic me#also fuck you bc theres so much i cant share anymore#because you took it all away#why am i rambling in the tags agani#no one reads anyway#so screw you you hurt me#but im not going anywhere#i'm gonna stay here and write this stupid fluffy romanctic shit#and love it#and then i'll write my dean and jensen and misha#and i will love that too#and someday i won't be so sad or indifferently angry at you#and maybe i'll get back to writing what i used to but cant now bc you took it from me#i should delete this but honestly no#i'm not goinig to#now im just curious to how manyt ags i can have#someone count this i cant math#anyway whatever#writing#henry cavill#whatttttttt
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ok so sending my question here bc this is more marvel comics than mcu related so im like. sliding you a note in class about an somewhat related but mostly tangential topic here 😂
so i've been wanting to get into bucky comics (and winter soldier comics) recently but as a dc fan now whose only marvel comics background is reading matt fractions hawkeye (the best ever, currently rereading it to feel something again actually) and part of wilsons ms marvel run back when i was in high school i have no idea where to start. you said that you have read comics for bucky; do you have any recommendations?
hello i love being slid notes this is so sweet <3 bc luckily Bucky is one of a small handful of characters i can *actually* give good recs for on the Marvel side of the fence! so i'm MORE than happy to give recs bc i actually already have a list i'm happy to share. also, BIG agree on Fraction's Hawkeye run, oh my god. that comic means *so* much to me and though i haven't really read Hawkeye comics outside of it, i love it a lot. 10/10 taste <3
so when it comes to Bucky, he has a *lot* of Golden and Silver Age comics as Captain America's teen sidekick and all. skip them. they're not worth it and they're not the version of the character you want to read. honestly, you should just start with his return as Winter Soldier, and go from there so
Captain America (2005) - this is Ed Brubaker's run, it's fantastic and it's the run that brings back Bucky as the Winter Soldier. i will warn you if you're used to DC comics, Marvel does this really confusing thing called legacy numbering. (DC sometimes does it but not as much) so you're gonna notice it'll jump from issue #50 to #600. you did not somehow miss hundreds of comics, it's just numbered that way bc it's the 600th Captain America comic overall. this run is super good though.
Captain America & Bucky by Ed Brubaker - once again numbering is weird just don't mind it. but this will give you a primer on Bucky's backstory as Cap's sidekick without you having to read all the Silver Age stuff and it's a great comic.
Captain America: Forever Allies (2010) - if you want to read where Bucky was Captain America for a bit, this comic is good for that. it also briefly touches on Secret Allies, a team he was on as a teen during the war. i'm not the biggest Cap!Bucky fun, but this is decent.
Winter Soldier (2012) - by *far* the best Winter Soldier solo run. Ed Brubaker my beloved. this is just amazing. this was where i started with Bucky and tbh if you vaguely understand his comics backstory and don't want to read all the Captain America stuff, i think you can start here. you get to see his relationship with Natasha, his spy work it's just. everything <3
Winter Soldier: The Bitter March - if you want to see a story that takes place during Bucky's time brainwashed under Hydra, that's what this one is and it's pretty solid
Thunderbolts (2016) - this comic is most known for the relationship between Bucky and a young girl who's a cosmic cube named Kobik and it's just so delightful. the whole team is really fun and explores moral greyness in superhero work, but mostly i love this one for Kobik.
Winter Soldier (2018) - i really enjoy this mini-series, it has Bucky trying to save a young boy who's forced to be a weapon and there's just a lot of good stuff. always have a soft spot for Bucky trying to do right by kids.
Falcon & Winter Soldier (2020) - a good team up mini-series. also Bucky has a cat so yk, that's delightful. <3
there are other Winter Soldier comics and comics he's in but Marvel's comic world is big and fucking confusing (to me as a DC fan, anyway) so these will be the easiest to start with. my top recs are probably Captain America & Bucky and Winter Soldier (2012), though i'm incredibly biased to any comic written by Brubaker for Bucky. i love Bucky so dearly. he is everything to me. i hope you enjoy!
#necrotic answerings#marvel comics#comic recommendations#brubake is one of my top comic writers solely for his winter soldier stuff#and his catwoman run#also i think it's fucking *hilarious* that jason and bucky were like#the two iconic sidekicks for dying and *staying dead* for decades which for comics is unheard of#and then they both CAME BACK within months of each other.#that shit is fucking hilarious.#winick and brubaker were sharing a braincell ig.#comics bucky is very dear to me even tho i'm not a comics marvel fan too much#tho miguel o'hara is in my top five characters on comics geek. so. idk what that says#my recs for him are: spider-man 2099 (1992) and that's it.#none of the other runs are good i'll do on that hill.#but for bucky most of his stuff is decent#just some of it can be confusing as a beginner#honestly idek if marvel's world is more or less confusing than dc's#like it feels more confusing but maybe i've just exposure therapied myself.#what's the marvel version of a crisis event? i have no clue. do they have that??#don't they just have one timeline too? like everything is cnaon? that's terrifying.#i'm jsut here for my weird guy with a metal arm.
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#idk if it's because i've given autism a very in depth look now or if i just always been like this and never really thought about it#but i'm finding it harder and harder to match my feelings to what i guess i'm supposed to feel?#like when something sad happens and i have no reaction to it#it's not that i'm not sad or that i'm glad it's happening but i just have no feelings?#which in turn bring put feelings of guilt because i'm not sad or worried enough...#it's such a weird experience and i'm of course not saying that autistic people have no feelings#that's so not what i'm saying#but it is a trait of autism to have difficulty pinpointing what you feel and also difficulty expressing it in ways other people usually doit#so perhaps it is because i've learned about that that I'm accepting that maybe i just don't feel things ''the normal way''#but i'm having a weird one tonight because my mom had to leave because of an emergency with my grandma#and it's 1am right now#and i am worried. of course i am. I don't want my grandma to suffer (although i have accepted she's not gonna live much longer)#but i still don't want her to die obviously#and most importantly I don't want my mom to have to go through that... to see her mother die? that's horrible#i'm obviously sad and worried#yet i'm sitting here drinking coffee and laughing at funny videos like nothing's happening#and i feel fine... like as if my mom was just sleeping at home like every night and not at a hospital visiting her dying mother...#and i know that years back i would have gone ''what the fuck is wrong with me?!'' and perhaps maybe forced myself to feel worse#or to cry or whatever because I can't be chill when something bad is happening...#and maybe i'll feel that way when my mom is back because I can't be calm and happy is she's sad#that would be rubbing it in her face#so maybe i'll feel more guilty then?#idk it's a weird feeling that i wanted to put into words#mostly for when it happens again i'll have a record of it somewhere#idk#angel talks#personal
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i finished reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt yesterday and i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about every single thing about it, but what I would like to address here, and it speaks for itself;
"8R, two keys and a combination padlock, 7522, the last four digits of Boris's home phone in Vegas."
- The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt, IV, chapter 9, X, page 532
and and and.....8 yrs later, the passcode is still the same.....it's the way Theo, 8 yrs earlier, didn't hesitate a second....it's the way Boris's home number guards Theo's dearest possession, the remnant of his mother, his very heart....it's the way it isn't Pippa's bday, or anything like that.....it's the way i sobbed when reading this line
(not to mention....not to mention....how "Popper" is "Popchyk" for as long as Theo gets back to NY and is with Hobie, never once Popper always Popchyk until.....until Boris comes back, and calls him Popchyk, and then, immediately, for the first time since Vegas, Popchyk is Popper in Theo's mind....because....because the rightful person who calls him Popchyk is back, and Theo no longer has to fill in for him, and, and, and--)
#hey i'm in the trenches over here#every single character i could talk about for years#and this is without even mentioning how Boris literally hunts that fucking painting down - at the detriment of his own life - because he#feels bad for what he did to theo - feels awful - and will do anything to make it up to him#“boris loves theo more” “theo loves boris more” you're all WRONG they were everything to EACH OTHER. and i mean EVERYTHING#their love for each other is uncontested - unquantifiable - ineffable -- desperate and all-consuming#i'm dying over here help me#the goldfinch#theodore decker#theo decker#boris pavlikovsky#boreo
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The Rarest Specimen
#half life#black mesa#crowbar collective#rare specimen#the rarest specimen#achievement unlocked#I did it#I actually did it#I'm honestly not sure where to go from here#This was something I've wanted to do for years and now it's done and I don't know what to do with myself#And just in time for my Birthday too!#God my brain is fucking dying today and I gotta love it#Anyways love you all
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I'm like so cooked y'all I fucked up a doohickey at work because I didn't know how to clean it and my coworker who's been here longer didn't know either and I tried to do it but come opening shift, my managers come in and see it and GRIMACE
#had closing shift yesterday#opening shift today#none of my managers that knew how to clean it came in yesterday and now I'm so fucked#I RUINED IT (potentially)#THEY MIGHT HAVE TO REPLACE IT#IT'S NOT CHEAP#I FORGOT THE NAME OF WHAT IT'S CALLED BRB#the flap top grill#fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#I say they're my managers but it's like#okay they're managers#but not my department's#I'm waiting for my dep manager to get here and#well confess my crime I suppose#I have so much anxiety going on right now I haven't fucked up at all but the one time I do it's a big fuck up#i feel like I'm dying she's gonna kill me I'm so dead#sorry for the rant I'm just so#nervous#anxious#panicking#wht if she fires me I'm gonna disappoint everyone oh no
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i'm ngl y'all, dissaponted in some of you for not sharing the palestine posts
#i mentioned this before but some of you guys are nitpicking my posts or rb's and only like the tokrev ones#of all of my followers?#maybe 5% interact with anything palestine related and i'm not exaggerating#makes me wonder what kinda people i'm posting to#like is it zionists or people who don't care#they're both just as bad#idk it's a bit disheartening#yes we're here for shits and giggles but pressing a button will not hurt you i garuntee you#funny posts will always be here#fandom content will always be here but palestinians? dying as we speak#ffs i'm begging you guys please just share a fucking post#i have a groupchat cooking but like i said what kinda people am i posting to exactly#tokyo revengers groupchat#tokyo revengers
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I swear to god I had an explanation for this. I don't have it anymore
#mha#oshi no ko#bnha#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#todoroki shouto#ok so. I am sleep deprived let it be known.#but here's a ramble.#I just really like oshi no ko. no I'm not up to date on the anime. no I didn't read the manga. no Im not hyperfixated#or well. on ai hoshino perhaps. because she.#and I really like yoasobi idol qnd I really love rachie's cover of idol. so uh. yeah#FUCK I DIDNT COLOR TODR{DOROKIS SCAR IN#ok yknow what I'll deal w/'this later. I'm dying#anyways it's mostly covered by his hair#but yeah. boys in dresses and skirts and bloomers. here we go#I made Izuku moon and Katsuki sun bc im a dirty bk///dk obsessed dickhead#so I forgot about todoroki#logically todoroki would be moon Izuku can be star and Katsuki can be sun#I refuse to let Izuku be sun katsuki is sun#I hope everyone is appreciating my sleep deprived rant.s. anyways. I'm going to make them magical girls now me think s#whne my mom is gone to work (soon) I think I might open my graphic tablet? but I dont have ibis paint on computer so prolly not#bc yeah this is on phone my eyes are dead my neck is decaying my fingers are falling off many such cases#lunart
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cities, a poem by me.
#wrote this a while ago but it's really resonating right now#“the government gave unhoused people here a stipend and now there's so many more ugh!!”#it's because they aren't dying in droves anymore asshole#i'm just. so frustrated#people can be so heartless#moved to a new city. the way people talk about unhoused people here is disgusting#“there's way less unhoused people where you're from!!! so much better!!”#it's because they're STILL dying in DROVES because the local government is EVIL. ASSHOLE#if you don't know what you're talking about please shut the fuck up#anyway#(#ro writing tag#ro poetry tag#)
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man. i know it sounds counterintuitive considering my situation, but I'm finding the body horror aspect of the terror cathartic. like yeah, they're having a yearslong slide into full-on bodily rebellion and all the horrors present therein. the loss of autonomy, the new skin blemishes and hair changes, the weakness, the deficiencies, the frailty, not sleeping, sleeping too much, utter exhaustion, being unable to eat, losing weight rapidly, constant muscular tremors, brain fog, praying it stops, ignoring it until your haggard visage and wrecked body is unavoidable in the mirror, the fear, the fear, always fear, and you know it's bad, but there's no answers for far too long, and when (if) you get them a cure is questionable and your body might just kill you anyways. yeah i've been sick since sept '23 and have paid thousands of dollars in medical bills. these two things are entirely disconnected i'm sure.
#i'm not FINE but i am coping. have an appt with my physical therapist next week and i'm going to bring up my lymph nodes and rapidly#declining health. maybe it's bad because i was just sick but maybe it's something worse. it feels worse. i feel like there's something very#wrong for many many reasons. i just wanted to vent and i'm genuinely enjoying the pain in this show as stupid as it sounds bc YEAH. that's#what being really fucking sick is like and it SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!#i have gained 3 fucking diagnoses a million more pills yet my health continues to decline. when i think i've hit rock bottom and stabalized#my shitty body grabs a shovel and starts digging#i don't like to vent here too often so thanks to anyone who read this. i'm taking it one day at a time and pulling myself along the#metaphorical shale with bloody hands like jop. yeah my body may give out on me but i'm not gonna roll over and let death take me that easy#this is SO morbid but y'all this is the 3rd seperate full blown mortality crisis i've had this year where i've become convinced i'm dying#it's old hat by now and it will hopefully pass#len speaks
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#okay no it's not the darkness getting to me there is a real life thing occupying a lot of my brain space#and idk if there's anything to be gained by speaking it out loud into the void but at the moment it's the only thing i Can do#i don't even have to click the 'post' button if i don't want to#but yeah. yesterday got the news that my mom's husband is dying. had a surprise heart attack and he's not gonna make it#just feels super fucking weird#personally i never really liked him at all so it's not like i myself necessarily have to grieve. never was that close with him#but like. oof this is going to be hard for my mom. and i'm super worried about how she's going to survive#but there's nothing to DO about it really. she wanted to have some space to come to terms with this on her own#and she has a strong support network of friends in her city. while i'm on the other side of the country#and don't even know what i could do to help if i was closer to her. i just. like. what can you even do in a situation like this?#just feels weird to Not do anything when i know how huge of an impact this will make for her entire life#she'll probably have to move to a different place too#and there are people there to help her. people with more life experience. people who probably know more about grief than i do#i just. i have no idea how one handles something like this. except for being there for her when asked#do eldest daughters have some sort of universal responsibilities that i'm just not aware of?#it feels kinda horrible how this is constantly circling back to what can *I* do and what must *I* do. how *I* feel#i'd never ever ever make things this much about me in any other setting than my own tumblr blog. in a tag whisper i'm not sure i'll post#but yeah all of this is eating my brain in a very weird way. an odd sort of limbo where it feels like there should be something here#it'd certainly be easier if i had any sort of relationship with the dead person myself. if i had something to grieve myself#now there's just a feeling that something Should be here to feel. and the knowledge of how hard this must be for my mom#ahhhhh idk none of this makes any sense i'm just speaking in circles and everything feels bad#it's bad and horrible and i don't know how to process any of this and i'm stuck in my brain and can't DO anything#there's nothing i can do to help my mom at this exact moment when she wants to be left alone with her thoughts#and i can't do anything else either because all of this feels like a heavy black cloud fogging up my brain#can't concentrate on anything at all today#not fun. not cool#sussitalk
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