#what the FUCkdude

[fully-caulked-wagon]

Incomprehensible text 'conversation'

9:00 Sanji: I have to go out of town for one weekend this month. Do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or next weekend? 9:30 in the morning. Zoro: mOtherfucKIng jesse EisenBerg jesusChrIst fuckduDe mOtherFucking Facebook moVie Bullshit Jesus can you fucKing bElieve This Shit 9:33 Sanji: I have no idea what we're talking about. 45 minutes pass. 10:18 Zoro: GodDamn creator oF Facebook and fUcking lawYers and Shit right fucking Winkle Boss tWins God damn roWing the Boat FUCK yo shit i can't even fUcking bElieve this SHit have You Seen this Shit fUck I just wAtched this Shit Fuck Jesse Eisenberg mAn 10:20 Sanji: Zoro, you're scaring me. An hour passes. 11:20 Zoro: motherFucking Spiderman spIder-Man yOu put in the TIme FUCK put in the Time Mother Fucking build shit with His bare Hands fUcking BesT frIend shiT JesseEisenberg Zoro: i'm Very tIred 11:21 Sanji: ... 11:22 Sanji: No problem, man. I'll do most of the talking today. 5 seconds later. 11:22 Zoro: nO man I'll just talk aboUT the FaceBook moVie all day Shit Man You have to be so InTeresteD In the Shit i Have to say abOut the face Book movie fUCK Dude I just watched it a Year and a half ago FUCK jesse Eisenberg mAn he Fucked Over Spider-man CRAZY Winkleboss twins Rowing Zoro: Trent Reznor did the SoundTrack FUCK tHis Guy who iNvenTED FaceBook idon't LikE dYing I Can'T thinK of Who The Fuck Invented Facebook all I can think Is the Guy who pLayEd the Guy who inVentED fAceBook wHo the FuCK iNVented FaceBooK 2 hours later. 13:23 Zoro: MARK ZUCKERBERG!!

[freakshowcowboy]

wait stop im literally sitting alone in my bedroom crying because its dean winchesters birthday what the Fuck dude hes 43

[rocketonthemoon]

Fic: Recalibrating

What started as a birthday gift and is now a “Happy Tuesday” gift for the wonderful, amazing, and dear, dear @aparticularlygoodfinder. 

Set in my University Library AU where Haruka is Genderqueer and Seiya is Trans so there’s copious OT3 if you’re not here for that.

-------------------------------

There’s no grand entrance. No spectacle of the prince returning home, no big announcement of a hero victorious. Only the gentle click as the door falls shut.

Haruka looks up from their place on the couch. They’d figured out a long time ago they can see the entryway if they tilt their head just so without getting up. Or at least, they can see the shadow of it. He hasn’t bothered to turn the light on, yet. A minute. Two. He still stands in the dark.

“You alright?”

Seiya jumps in his place, flinching back further into the shadows. Teeth flash a bit too quick, a bit too practiced. “You look like a giraffe.”

Michiru mutes the TV next to them. She, at least, has the wherewithal to turn complete to look at him, glowing backlit in electric haze. It’s late, Haruka notices belatedly. The dying blue light paints them all in muted grays and hides most of Seiya’s face. But the TV light catches the pink of his nose and the downward glint of his eyes. His hand rubs across his chest almost absently, his shoulders desperately curving inwards.

Shit.

Michiru sees it, too. She’s up in a fluid moment, gliding towards him on her own personal current. Her hand stills the one rubbing his chest, her other reaching to his face. The world cuts away as they watch his shoulders shrink into his sweater even more, watch his head sink down to her touch, hear his shaky breath from across the room. Words, soft and meant only for the two of them, float on her soothing tone and Haruka sees him nod. Without her, he’d stay at the door the whole night. Somehow they all just know. So she leads him by the hand.

Any other night they’d have a quip. Some bright jab to make him roll his eyes. Any other night, Seiya wouldn’t need to be invited into Michiru’s arms and to settle both their heads in Haruka’s lap. Any other night he’d have launched himself into Haruka’s world. Crashing and crowing, throwing them off balance. Still keeping the distance of before but flirting on the edge of something more in the shameless way of life Seiya bathes in.

But tonight. Tonight they’re still. Soft. Fingers - string calloused and athlete rough - ghost along his skin and hair. This Haruka can do. This they know. They both coax his hands to relax, for the tight line of his shoulders to ease into something more like his usual slouch. Michiru presses her lips to his collar and Haruka hums something without melody. They give the television back its voice, the background murmur settling over the room.

“What happened?” Haruka asks after a long while. The man on the screen gives a dramatic speech about something - grocery stores or food stands maybe? - from literally on high. The man dramatically leaps with a flourishing cape - Seiya’s thousand yard stare seemingly focused. He’s stiff against Haruka’s leg. Stiff under their hand. Michiru picks up Haruka’s hum, a steady counter to the on-screen hero’s jingle. Breathe, love.

“Locker room,” Seiya finally answers after the commercial break. Someone lowers the sound again until all Haruka can hear is Michiru’s humming and the scratch of his voice.  The tension in his shoulders could snap something - his spine, or maybe something far worse - and they’re almost afraid to touch him. Michiru presses another kiss under his jaw, smoothing out the collar of his sweater. He lets out a slow breath, but Haruka catches the extra swell below Michiru’s hand.

Shit.

“I lost it.”

Haruka’s hand stalls mid-air on its journey to his hip. Tuneless humming cuts off abruptly as they both register what he means. Seiya’s gaze still bores a hole through the wall about the tv. A vein throbs behind his jaw and something shimmers suspiciously in the wells of his eyes. His muscles twitch, urging to shrink into the fabric of his sweater. It bunches awkwardly as he shifts. Hitches up and flashing skin. His hands scrabble to pull it back before it traitorously exposes anything more.

“Hey…”

“I lost it.” The words seem to fall out of him like little pebbles, rattling in his mouth while he chokes on air. Michiru’s hands smooth the hem back into compliance as he gasps. “I lost it and then these… I dunno, jocks? Frat boys?  Fucking…. Fuck... fuckdudes came in only wearing towels and grabbing at each other and making jokes and one noticed me and I just shoved my sweater on and left as fast as I could but I -”

“Hey.”

Until that moment, they hadn’t realized how quiet they had all been. Normal volume suddenly sounds like shouting across the room. But it keeps him from spiraling once his voice breaks. His eyes finally flash upwards to meet theirs. For a second, Haruka is actually worried he’ll cry. That’d be a new thing for the two of them honestly. Not bad. Just new. Broken sobs are much different when heard through the safety of a shared wall or door. But Haruka recognizes the shattered, self-loathing glint in those midnight blues. The one that holds back the unsure release. The one that desperately yearn for comfort. So they recalibrate.

His pulse hammers under their thumb, tilting his head into their touch. There’s a breath. Two. Then the kiss is wet with salt. Someone grabs Haruka’s fingers, joining the grip on his hair. It must hurt. It’s not at all a gentle hold. There’s teeth clattering and his nose presses awkwardly against Haruka’s. But the sob Seiya breathes against the corner of their mouth is a different pain. Familiar. And shared now as Haruka swallows it down.

The television sings a cereal commercial and Michiru hums to it off key when they come back into focus. The world spins on - the boy falls apart on the couch between the two of them. Bit by bit until all that’s left are pieces and tears and a soft, soft sweater. The world spins and outside the night brings stars. Stars Haruka has every plan to put him back together with now they know where they stand.

[yerizu]

@tianlao re: your comment about YouTuber worshipper on the suicide forest post;

I totally agree and while they're same as us people, everyone loves youtubers or being one, probably because "Wow get paid by doing dumb shit that I already like doing". In essence they're like mini celebrities - more accessible and more relatable (as they're closer to us normal people level) and some would even say they're more "real" but surprise bitch, they're not.

I have a friend who's friends with this youtuber slash influencer whose content is all literally sponsored content by brands. She didn't even use any of the products, save for the one time when she's recording the video... I was surprised (or not, lbr) when I found that out.

So, no, not all of them are not fake. Capitalism and consumerism culture are the only real things here.

I'm not shitting on youtubers tho, because some channels really provide good content (and not just copies of stolen clips and memes or sponsored content). So Yes they do provide content and entertainment but some of these youtubers are rlly vile af, and just basically that fuckdude you hate in school except now he's got a youtube channel to showcase the fuckshit he does. Like making fun of other cultures and stuff.

Speaking of which my friend is friends with this semi-famous youtuber/instagrammer, whom she helped to edit videos of. When coming up with content this youtuber will follow the fad or whatevers the popular meme at that time and there's a few times he was like "oh lgbt is IN, let's make a video related to that" so he made a video about #loveislove supporting lgbt and all when behind the scenes / in reality he said it's weird for same gender and that "I'm OK with it just don't do it in front me". Imagine my fuckin rage hearing that . Like wow. YOU'RE NOT FUCKING """OK""" WITH THAT. So what the fuck was your video for you fake fucking shitrag. That's not what an ally fucking means.

And he cracks offensive slur jokes all the damn time. Basically what a typical dumb straight does. Yet he still had the audacity to even make a video about lgbt. I was so disgusted. It broke my faith in humanity really.

Yep and that's why I don't trust any youtubers anymore lmao. I don't get why people worship them either. So many of them are dicks or just plain rude

[nerdvi]

Are you telling me that I wasted like...6 years of my life watching a mediocre-ass show written by 2 white-cis sexist fuckdudes who only queerbaited me, treated its female characters like disposable rag dolls and had not heard of ethnic diversity in 21′s century England...

While there was Black Sails, which is gloriously, unapologeatically Queer, with an amazing and diverse cast even tho it’s a PERIOD DRAMA; with amazing female characters that are actually treated as people; with well rounded POC characters and POC women who are given possitions of power and well written, well rounded storylines, is respectful of LGBTI audience and our traumas without fetishizing them, and the whole thing is hetero baiting people because queer love (all types of it) and queer wrath are shown to be endgame??

Like what was I even doing with my life jesus thank you diversity deities for mending my course.

[ccborrega]

OK, so, let me talk a bit about what’s going on here:

The gasoline prices are stupidly high. I mean that. STUPIDLY HIGH.

People are mad about it, so they react in anger and thus has lead to a downright CAOTHIC state. Gas stations are being destroyed or robbed. STORES are getting robbed (’cause you know, getting that HD TV’s susrely gonna improve the situation). Terror is being spread over social networks, telling of attacks that never actually happened or are never going to happen. Yesterday, I was in a place that according to the news was being attacked at the exact moment and...nothing, it was at peace, save for the occasional temperamental fuckdude who thinks only his time’s important. But the mainstream media keeps telling these fright tales about manifestants doing awful stuff, when, to be completely honest, this is just low people taking the chance the chaos is giving them to do their thing. The next logical step is to send in the army and therefore legitimize the prescence of the army against the ACTUAL protesting movement. Fucking 1968 all over again. And then, voilá, the authorities are the heroes against the bad, bad protesting masses.

Some people are calling in for a second Revolution and, to be honest, I think people IS mad enough for it to happen right now. Heaven help us.

[thagrimey1]

This is what is suppose to represent the United States #acompleteembarrassment #fuckdude #fuckingidiot 🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾

[pastelingo]

I jsut saw someome comnent on a picture of an actual amputee "a wild amputee in iys natural habitat" dude what thebfuck what the fuckdude fucl dudebwhat the fuck what the fuck dude what the fuckdude dude fuck what the fuck ?? Fuck ????

[teuvo]

In other news, this piece of shit exists.