#what local queer community? lol.

[growinguparo]

Hi! I just wanted to jump in and say thank you, because your blog has actually helped me a lot recently. I read your post from a while back (like a WHILE, 4ish years ago) about the aro/ace future and what that looks like as we get older. I’ve been coming to terms on and off in the past few years about how averse I am to relationships and dating, and with the fact that really don’t care if I’m single for the rest of my life. But you very nearly articulated the main concern: what happens when everyone else is wrapped up in their marriages and their families I am truly alone? I’m still not sure that the aromantic identity is accurate for me, but it feels pretty close and so thank you, again, for opening this world up to me and putting words to my feelings. :)

Aww thank you for telling me!! 💚

I still feel the way I did when I wrote that post, although it occupies less of my brainspace than it used to. However, I will take this opportunity to talk about the big thing in my social life that changed since 2020: I dove hard into my local community. Any local community will do I think, but the main one for me was my local trans community. I was also in a community music ensemble, I spent a couple years in a survivor support group, and I went to local queer events. I valued those communities highly enough that they were the main reason I was upset to be moving to a new city.

Community made a huge difference for me. I wasn’t really friends with any of them exactly (like I rarely hung out with any of them outside of whatever thing we had together), and community definitely doesn’t occupy the same niche of social requirements as friends or a partner. But it HELPS. It helps with social support, feeling connected to other people, having regular social interaction, and (crucially imo) meeting people who are older than you in a peer environment instead of one where they are of higher status than you.

I know so many trans people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, even 70s, from my local trans community - variously single, married, divorced, multiply divorced, dating, polyamorous, nonamorous, etc. It really broadened my view of what people older than me are actually doing in real life, not just what the twenty-somethings around me anticipate they will be doing when they are that age. People who are like me too, queer transgender people who will never fit the conventional narrative. It enriched my life in a way I wasn’t expecting.

I still don’t know what an aroace future looks like and it’s still scary but at least now I know that mine will include local communities and that I can get a fair amount of the social fulfillment I’m seeking from them.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

.

[anistarrose]

Please don't tune out when you get to the non-partisan section of your ballot this November. First off, where state Supreme Court justices are elected, Republicans are trying their darndest to elect candidates who will destroy reproductive freedom, gut voting rights, and do everything in their power to give "contested" elections to Republicans. Contrast Wisconsin electing a justice in 2023 who helped rule two partisan gerrymanders unconstitutional, versus North Carolina electing a conservative majority in 2022, who upheld a racist voter ID law and a partisan gerrymander that liberal justices had previously struck down both of.

Second, local judicial offices will make infinitely more of an impact on your community than a divided state or federal legislature will. District and circuit courts, especially, are where criminalization of homelessness and poverty play out, and where electing a progressive judge with a commitment to criminal justice reform can make an immediate difference in people's lives.

It's a premier example of buying people time, and doing profound-short-term good, while we work to eventually change the system. You might not think there will be any such progressive justices running in your district, but you won't know unless you do your research. (More on "research" in a moment.)

The candidates you elect to your non-partisan city council will determine whether those laws criminalizing homelessness get passed, how many blank checks the police get to surveil and oppress, and whether lifesaving harm reduction programs, like needle exchanges and even fentanyl test strips, are legal in your municipality. Your non-partisan school board might need your vote to fend off Moms for Liberty candidates and their ilk, who want to ban every book with a queer person or acknowledgement of racism in it.

Of course, this begs the question — if these candidates are non-partisan, and often hyper-local, then how do I research them? There's so much less information and press about them, so how do I make an informed decision?

I'm not an expert, myself. But I do think/hope I have enough tips to consist of a useful conclusion to this post:

Plan ahead. If you vote in person, figure out what's on your ballot before you show up and get jumpscared by names you don't know. Find out what's on your ballot beforehand, and bring notes with you when you vote. Your city website should have a sample ballot, and if they drop the ball, go to Ballotpedia.

Ballotpedia in general, speaking of which. Candidates often answer Ballotpedia's interviews, and if you're lucky, you'll also get all the dirt on who's donating to their campaign.

Check endorsements. Usually candidates are very vocal about these on their websites. If local/state progressive leaders and a couple unions (not counting police unions lol) are endorsing a candidate, then that's not the end of my personal research process per se, but it usually speeds things up.

Check the back of the ballot. That's where non-partisan races usually bleed over to. This is the other reason why notes are helpful, because they can confirm you're not missing anything.

I've seen some misconceptions in the reblogs, so an addendum to my point about bringing notes on the candidates: I strongly suggest making those notes a physical list that you bring polling place with you. Many states do allow phones at the polling place, but several states explicitly don't — Nevada, Maryland, and Texas all ban phones, and that may not be an exhaustive list. There may also be states that allow individual city clerks to set policies.

You should also pause and think before you take a photo of your ballot, because even some states that don't ban phones still ban ballot photographs. But whether it's a photo, or just having your phone in general — in an environment as high-risk for voter suppression as the current one, you don't want even a little bit of ambiguity about your conduct. Physical notes are your friends.

[no-squ4sh-4-b4by]

Real queer situation going on: for context, my bf and I were poly when we met a few months back, but we've recently gone monogamous. So now he was invited to a drag show by his friend he was involved with not long ago, so we're going there tonight. His other friend is gonna be coming along (she's involved with his brother). And now I Just learned that my ex partner, that I haven't seen since the breakup, was invited by his friend (that I lowkey had a crush on) who himself was invited by a drag queen, is gonna be there tonight!

So gonna be meeting my bf's "ex" and bf is gonna be meeting my ex. And friend I have a crush on. And our other friend is gonna witness all that lol.

What a shit show, I can't wait.

[queerromancerecs]

Non Amazon book resources

Look, I know Amazon is a sensitive topic. It has been allowed to dominate the market, and for indie writers, it is a huge (if not their main) source of income. Personally, as an indie writer, I have tried to always keep my work available elsewhere (because you can't trust Amazon not to screw you over, I mean just look at Audible. For those who don't know, Audible royally fucks over authors, and the narrators don't do that great either). But even for me, the loss of Amazon sales would highly affect my ability to keep going without getting another job or three. So I get it. Nonetheless, they cannot be trusted not to drop queer writers and readers, so it's best to have alternatives now.

If you are a reader or an indie author looking for different platforms to buy and/or sell books, even if only to start branching out a little, here is a list.

I doubt it's comprehensive. Feel free to reblog with more.

Kobo and Kobo Plus -Kobo is the biggest online 'Zon alternative. Kobo Plus is sort of like KU. On either one, you get points for buying books and can use the points to get more books. Works for ebook and audiobooks. (And, if you have a non-Kindle ereader, it works for Kobo but it also works for like, fanfiction. I'm just saying. I got a refurbished Kobo a while ago and it's lovely.)

Bookshop.org -print as well as ebooks (authors, make sure you click "expanded distribution" on your bookselling platform of choice if you want your stuff for sale with Bookshop--which also benefits local bookstores!)

Smashwords/Draft2Digital - mostly ebooks but D2D does have a print option

Itch.io - ebook only (but gives a larger chunk of profits to authors than 'Zon does. Authors take note.)

Rainbow Crate -special edition print queer books. (I know there was some controversy with them but I am out of touch and don't know what it was, and most people who use them seem happy with them??? but if you know other queer/romance book crate services, lemme know)

The Ripped Bodice -brick and mortar stores but you can also shop online

Check out your local bookstores---many will order print copies for you if you request them

The authors' websites if they do direct sales

Barnes & Noble- yeah, it's a corporation and they are not great either, but it's not Amazon and sometimes a well-meaning relative gets you a gift card. And, for the moment, they do in fact sell queer romance and queer fiction. I know because I just used a gift card to get a paperback of The Prince and the Assassin. lol

Powell's Books- Portland's famous book store sells new and used books (and you can browse the stock online) --print only. They sell queer romance as well. I got a copy of Drag Me Up by RM Virtues there. That's not super relevant, but I was pleased :)

New link: Queer Books Weekly-- free and affordable books with queer protagonists

Tubby & Coos Bookshop: curates pocket bookstores featuring underrepresented voices

And from user @bobthebenevolentpirate (thank you!)

Giovanni's Room in Philadelphia was founded in 1973 and is “The Oldest & Very Best LGBTQ & Feminist Bookstore in the Country.” They ship to US addresses, but you can also email them about international shipping. The people who run it are lovely humans and have started providing harm reduction supplies/info to people to respond to the needs of the community! They deserve all the support

Also consider library books!

And for those in America--you can use library apps to read books. Yes, the authors still get paid! Libby is a big one. You can get audiobooks too, AND it can connect you with the Queer Liberation Library.

Also there is Hoopla - digital content

In Europe, I know there is Vivlio, which is French and I believe sells ereaders and also ebooks.

[koiblossom5]

As a chinese-canadian and a long-time user of xhs (xiaohongshu/little red book) I thought it might help to have some information and gentle reminders addressing the many rules + what kinds of content you can post on the app :)

To start, there's a lot of misconception about being able to post anime content. We aren't averse to Japanese content or media- as a matter of fact, there's a pretty big anime and cosplay community, especially on xhs!

Here are some photos from my trip to suzhou! (dungeon meshi and skip to loafer content was a mythical pull lol)

With that being said, it is disrespectful and offensive to post media and content containing or associating with the glorification/apologia, themes, symbols, etc., of Japanese imperialism and involvement during WWII. This includes AOT, MHA, and many other other popular animes.

Please note that I do not support censorship: I believe that people should have the freedom to post, express, and create media on social media platforms as well as have the ability to watch different kinds of shows - but considering xhs is an app from a foreign country, it is important to contextualize its local policies through historical lens. I strongly implore non-Chinese users to research Unit 731 and the Nanjing Massacre to better understand why certain types of content from Japan are banned and blacklisted in China.

2. There are active LGBTQ+ communities on xhs- and for many queer people in China, where the country's ideologies are still pre-dominantly conservative, social media platforms is one the few safe spaces where they can express their sexuality and/or gender identity, particularly for wlw (or le). It is important to keep in mind that progress in the LGBTQ+ rights movement in the East, specifically China, is at a very different stage compared to the West; please be respectful of the fact that the Chinese LGBTQ+ community has their own culture, their own slang, and their own ways of expression in a country where LGBTQ+ people continue to face legal and social discrimination.

3. When you first create your account, you might be quite daunted by the long, long, long list of rules and community guidelines, specifically the first section, where it states, "1. Values - XiaoHongShu encourages users to post content that aligns with current positive social values. All content posted should:

Adhere to the Chinese Constitution and laws.

Practice the core socialist values. (A list of values promoted by the Chinese government, which includes: prosperity, democracy, civility, harmony, freedom, equality, justice, the rule of law, patriotism, dedication, integrity, and friendship)

Promote patriotism, collectivism, and socialism.

Spread the correct views on history, nationality, state, and culture.

Promote the excellent traditional culture of the Chinese nation.

Uphold social ethics, professional ethics, family and personal virtues, and respect public order and good customs.

Promote scientific thinking and popularize scientific knowledge.

Advocate a positive, healthy, and progressive lifestyle and social trends."

No, this does not mean the content you post or interact with has to be about praising the CCP or saying, "I love communism!! 🤩". It just means you cannot be comparing Xi Jinping to W*nnie the P*oh (ifyyk).

The point is, try to avoid political discourse or criticism regarding the Chinese government on xhs, especially since xhs is a platform more akin to Pinterest or Instagram, where its more so a lighthearted place for travel tips, recipes, aesthetic fashion and makeup tips and inspiration, cosplay, cute animal videos, productive lifestyle and snapshots of simple life, etc! You can still discuss different things about Chinese culture and society, such as healthcare system, attitudes toward foreigners, income and spending, etc. But please be mindful that there are real people behind the screen; people who are not their government. I promise you, Chinese people are just as capable of poking fun, referencing brainrot, and interacting with non-Chinese people normally 💀.

Anyways, please take the time to review these rules and guidelines, especially since xhs is very strict about implementing them and can potentially lead to your account getting banned. This includes things such as:

excessive displays of wealth (be considerate of others' financial situations)

only sharing scientifically proven information/avoiding misinformation (no pseudoscience)

respecting boundaries (no nudity or sexual/sexually suggestive behavior; you can definitely show skin, but if you're making a grwm video please don't show up in your underwear - even on tiktok I never understood why influencers do that 😅)

etc, etc.

Many of the community guidelines are in line with social norms that are prominent in East Asia, which is understanding that a social media platform is a public space to be shared with others in a civil and respectful manner. And many of these guidelines refer to explicitness as a measurement - (fake) blood is fine, but gore and other such obscenities are not. You can kiss your significant other in a cute video, but you shouldn't be posting each other fornicating (this applies to both heterosexual and homosexual couples). You can swear, but you shouldn't be yelling racial slurs. Honestly, a lot of this is just common sense - xhs is supposed to be a wholesome, inspirational, and chill space!

4. Take this as an opportunity to learn about another culture, another language, and even make new friends! As long as you're civil, kind and respectful, xhs is super fun and entertaining! Of course, it's not representative of the Chinese internet space as a whole; the majority of users are women (so consider using "sis" or 姐 instead of "dude" or "bro" ). With that in mind, please be respectful in your comments - many of the women posting makeup edits or fashion videos are seeking appreciation, not sexual harassment 😅 even if a someone is posting a thirst trap, try to be tastefully humorous! If you're trying to communicate in Mandarin, I would suggest using the simplified Chinese Pinyin keyboard (QWERTY) and start learning the four different intonations of each character so you are able to sound out and type sentences using the alphabetical keyboard!

I hope this was helpful and legible, even if by a marginal amount (if this was actually incoherent, I apologize, I learned English by watching My Little Pony💀), and I hope everyone has a really fun experience on the app!

[halfbaked00q]

so once again talking abt James Bond x queer elders- Stop screaming, it's just me- So anyway, talking more on this subject

I just rly like the idea of, like. James Bond coming into...how do you call this, unfiltered? unconditional? more organic? contact w the queer community at a later stage in life. or like, having more room to and therefore pursuing a sort of queer awakening later in life. And like coming into contact with & integrating more w the queer community,. but like specifically the "older generation" of the queer community.

Like he's not meeting & learning about queerness and queer history from 20-somethings; he found the local butches who run a furniture restoration course/have a local carpentry or etc group and they take him in under their wing.

(Okay actually lmao, I still like the idea that they thought he also was a butch, maybe a closeted/questioning one, and tacitly include him into their circle, only for Q to show up at the end of one of the classes and they have to recalculate the whole thing. And then they realize yes he IS a baby queer at the tender age of 40-something they just got the trajectory wrong lol)

But yea the real point of this being. I like the idea that James Bond never, like. really had a huh maybe I am queer moment cuz of how his adult life panned out - like I think he's bi and not conflicted about it but never really, like, thought of himself as "a member of the queer community" cuz again his everyday life doesn't... really bear that out. Like it doesn't serve his everyday spy life a purpose and also it never really came up.

But now he has room to really explore that and sort of become queer+, like, ponder & reaffirm his queerness and what it might mean to "be a member of the queer community" but purposefully this time. And specifically in the context of connecting with older butches and esp butch activists. He's not going to speak like the other 20-somethings who are also under these older butches' wings despite maybe having similar number of years as them in terms of queer awakening; he'd still be more aligned rhetorically with the older butches. I think it'd be interesting and also a not-as-often explored situation/character dynamic that I'd want to see more of, esp vis a vis Bond.

[jenny-in-a-jar]

🩷🩵🤍 5 Days Until my Surgery 🤍🩵🩷

(Picture taken September 1, 2022)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 6 below the cut.

Part 1 here

Me and my partner got back together and got a place together and we still live in this apartment together 🥰 I also worked at worked at a local amusement park over the summer that had some fun but mostly was horrible due to angry customers that kept misgendering me and kids making fun of me 🙃 But also I'll say I had one of my most euphoric moment when this little girl pointed to her winged eyeliner and said "you're just like me!" Bc I also had winged eyeliner at the time 🥰

(Picture taken June 6th, 2022)

Also, if the last Era was the peak of my egirl era on twitter than this was the fall of my egirl era 📉

I remember reaching 10k followers and thinking "ok I have enough of a following to try to make money off this." It's what a lot of egirls on there did and as I stated above, I hated my job. I thought briefly about streaming and YouTube but I don't really have the personality for streaming and was too self-conscious of my voice to do YouTube. And there were a lot of sex workers on twitter that I knew, followed, and admired. And there was quite the market for trans sexual content. Also I wanted to basically be paid to look pretty all day 🤷‍♀️ So, I made a OnlyFans account and started promoting it.

(Picture taken May 9th, 2022)

And I quickly got shadow banned for it 😂 And frankly, I wasn't really meant for sex work. I'm not really a sexual person. I do enjoy sexual acts but doing them for money killed my drive for it. I made a few hundred dollars but I didn't make enough content for it to keep it up.

Also, the shadow banned revealed how unhealthy my relationship with Twitter was. My self worth would be highly dependent on how well my posts did that day (I was still posting pictures daily). And I was hypercritical of my picture quality and my physical features. And developed a bad habit of comparing myself to girls I considered prettier than me. And with the constant misgendering from work, I was at a big low 🥲

(Picture taken September 17th, 2022)

I remember this was when there was first talk about Elon buying Twitter and I was looking for an alternative and well... ended up here.

(Picture taken June 2nd, 2022)

I remember the idea between this pic was clothes and accessories that weren't explicitly queer but gave queer vibes.

Also talking about queerness, I also participated in a Drag Show! I played a mushroom fairy!

(Picture taken August 13th, 2022)

It was organized by this local queer nonprofit that did a lot in the community and was already a big part of my life but would become a bigger part of my life.

Also this was when I was done with the curly girl method. And I like how my hair looks like this and it's easier 🤷‍♀️

(Picture taken September 4th, 2022)

Also love how often I get used out of this mushroom beret 😁🍄😁 (which is why I have 2 pics with it on this post lol)

Also an update on my love life at this time. I at one point had 4 partners very briefly and was part of a polycule over over 22 people. I remember one of my metamours made a chart showing all the relationships and it was complicated 😅 Also it was mostly online. Like 2 of my partners were long distance relationships.

(Picture taken Oct 2nd, 2022)

Around my 23rd birthday, I decided to do what was best for my mental health and quit twitter. But I had two last pictures because I got them from some followers who bought me things from my Amazon wishlist I made for my birthday.

(Picture taken October 29, 2022)

This one would be useful for the next era. And you can see a small part of my large collection of plushies (which I have a project in mind for 👀)

(Picture taken on November 8th, 2022)

And this was the last picture I posted on Twitter before quitting at 36k followers. I had already stopped posting on it for awhile so you can imagine my surprise when I got a big pink teddy bear 😱 And for all the work I put into that account, I consider this a pretty good prize 🧸💕

I consider Tumblr my last attempt with having a healthy relationship with social media. If this account goes away, I'll probably be done with Social Media 🤷‍♀️ I think I'm getting better at breaking those bad habits I developed on Twitter while still trying to enjoy the art of dressing up and taking selfies. But, I don't know if I'll ever have the drive for it like I did during my twitter days.

With my summer job ending and twitter as a way to make a living out of the window you may be concerned with how I recovered but I got really lucky and I'll go into detail on that tomorrow 😁

[bonyassfish]

The reason Drag Kings aren’t as popular as Drag Queens is because the entire point of Drag is to perform Gay stereotypes in a way that conflates them with Trans Femininity for the amusement of Cis people. You're not Trans Femme, IE they don't know how to laugh at you. Like I get Drag Performers wanna make out that you're doing this big artsy queer thing when you do drag - but Drag is for Cis People and it always has been. It's a highly conditional and often very transphobic space that Cis people let Trans people exist in if we agree to perform caricatures of ourselves... and because Cis people think Trans Women are a Joke and basically have no idea that Trans Men even exist, Drag Queens get more laughs and Drag Kings just confuse them.

…what the fuck are you talking about

That is absolutely not the point of drag. Most drag performers would say that drag is about performing gender, in its many many forms

I know so many trans people who are drag performers. Trans people have always been a part of drag and drag culture.

There is of course an issue with transphobia in drag communities (I mean rupaul is arguably one of the most famous queens in the world and is pretty transphobic) but you seem to be implying there’s no space at all for trans folks in drag. Which ignores the fact that drag is just as much an art form pioneered by and still used enjoyed by trans folks

Like I’m sorry drag race has brain rotted you but stop making that everyone else’s problem lol. Go to a local drag show and give some money to your local trans mutual aid fund

[siins]

hey weird q but I live in the states as a Latvian citizen and the more things are Happening Here, the more I'm seriously considering moving me and my spouse back to the homeland in a few years time despite the Russia Next Doors of it all

My experiences with trying to get chummy with locals are so sparse though as us Latvians are a bit standoff-ish and hard to find/connect with compared to getting an "in" with the US artist and queer community

Do you have any theoretical advice on finding LV communities that don't involve going back to school? :^/

hey! i haven't lived in Latvia for more than two years now (moved next door to Lithuania lol) and even when i did live in smalltown Latvia, i never really amassed friends or felt like i had any community whatsoever, so I understand what you mean perfectly lol. i'll put my waffling and suggestions under a readmore.

i've been way more hands on and involved in the queer community here in Vilnius since i do live in a capital now, and it looks like most of anything worthwhile happens in Rīga as well.

i never got the chance to be intimately familiar with the scene there but from gathering up crumbs of what my friends/acquaintances get up to and what little events i did visit, i can namedrop these places as a start of perusal: kaņepes kultūras centrs, baltic drag kings, klik klak, kustība neons, kvīri runā, safe space lv.. (i find most posting happens on instagram, or maybe facebook too but i dont use it so i wouldnt know :'^)).

as for artist communities, man... literally my tiny handful of Latvian friends that i still maintain are all people I met on a (i'm pretty sure now dead) "Latvian Club" on deviantart in like 2010 <:'^D i never went to any real art school so i have no idea what "community" is like there. i fear a lot of fragmented communities are all hidden on discord servers now.

the baltic (and nordic) convention circuit is more my speed and resemblance of art community and for that i'd suggest checking out UniCon, Latvia's big twice a year everything-convention (comics, games, anime, kpop etc). It squishes together so much of nerd and online art culture i feel like you're bound to find some leads there. There are more cons in Lithuania but I don't know if it's worth going in detail on those right now ;^)

there is a baltic artist discord server called solanum, that was born out of wanting to unite artists who table at these cons and it's turning out to be a small community with ocassionally organized in person meetups! the ages tend to be all over the place though, a lot of young people but you can find some oldheads there as well haha.

because of the hardships of finding community i've really found that you can't limit yourself to just Latvia, it sooner or later grows to encompass events across Baltics... and further..

hopefully any of this is of some use! i feel honored for being the one you approached about this lol

[bengiyo]

Love Sea Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Tongrak, a successful romance author, was sent by his friends to an island to relax and work on his next novel. Unfortunately, Tongrak was a complete asshole about this, and took that out on his host, Mahasamut, who seems fully equipped to deal with a spoiled rich kid from Bangkok. Tongrak apparently needs to have sex to work through the scene he needs to write, and is also clearly interested in Mut. We left at Mut accidentally scaring Rak and trying to take care of him.

Lol, I love them opening up with voiceover reaffirming that Rak wants to fuck Mut. This is not one sided.

As charged as that was, sex on a beach is grimy!

Chapter 2: Echoes Across the Endless Blue

Oh right, Mook has to change a light bulb.

Rak is being so dramatic about a scratch.

"This isn't a bad," and, "Open your mouth," and, "Not your turn," are sending me.

Head on the beach in episode 2? Finally, adult gay representation in BL.

I'm with Mut! I would be annoyed as hell if my partner wanted to stop and immediately begin writing as things were getting good.

Man, this apartment gets used semi regularly now for the shows.

Wow, MAME is giving ass now.

Well, I'll give them points for mentioning the condoms, but docking several for using teeth.

Don't act like you ain't have a great time, Rak. I saw those expressions.

Rak is so consistently rude! He's even rude about the social politics of sex! Mut even offered to help with cleanup.

I wonder how long Vie has been crushing on Mook, because she's clearly enjoying having someone like Mook around.

They made this boy play the exposition gossip two shows in a row.

I do love the way Mut is rolling with Rak's aggressive behavior. If the rich guest is sprung and throwing money you already said he didn't need to throw at you, then by all means.

Well well well. Rak showed some consideration there about how public he's being with Mut. I like knowing that Mut is out and still carries so much respect in his community. But also, you gotta know how much you can get away with and where you can do it.

My man got locals jumping into conversations to gas him up. Respect. It's hard when tourism is a big part of your economy, because the finance class does not share.

A queer man kicked out of the home by his dad who has worked hard to build his place in his community? No choice but to stan.

Oh boy, when the writer is the executive producer and the director, they can include a romance author as a lead character to speak to their detractors.

Yes, please eat before more flies show up.

MAME characters are so interesting in that they'll go out of their way to set two people up, and then be damned sure they explain their baggage to each other.

Why would this man jump into the ocean on his own like that?

Whoa, what about this location triggered all this trauma? Seems like he has a friend who got abandoned with a pregnancy, and that connected to his mom's issues with his dad?

Are we gonna end every episode on the boat after a flash of trauma?

A romance novelist who doesn't believe in love. I am invested.

Those reveals came fast at the end, but at least we're seeing where the transactional presumptions around sexual loyalty may have come from with Rak. I like that Mut takes the money in stride, and was plain about how hard the hustle is for local businesses on this island. I'm also so relieved that we have adult, out characters discussing how public they can afford to be with their flirting. There's too much Thai BL in the bubble right now and failing at it. I'm really enjoying this.

[sturionic]

hey, you said your inbox is open and I was curious if you have any ideas for someone who can't get involved irl in things like protests and local antifa groups (physically disabled and incapacitatingly severe anxiety), and who can't get involved in online activism beyond reblogging stuff (personal reasons, difficult to explain)?

I've been considering trying to put together care packages for local unhoused people, but I'm poor and I'd have to convince someone to help me put everything together so idk how well that will go.

I don't want to sit around doing nothing.

Hey anon! I am very glad you reached out, and this is a question I get asked a lot by people IRL, so you are very much not alone here.

I think the first order of business is expanding your definition of activism. We have been done a great disservice by having activism framed for us as protests, charity, & singular heroes making speeches and changing hearts through celebrity. In reality, the smaller actions in your community have a much greater impact; and most of all, the things you personally have to offer make the greatest impact.

This diagram is specifically geared towards climate action, but really applies to all activism:

For you to be an effective activist/volunteer/community member, it's crucial to find the centre of that diagram, or else you're on a one-way ticket to burnout. Don't get caught up in trying to judge which is the most "important" activism, because that answer will be different for everyone. The most important thing you can do for the world is the thing you can do.

I've done lots of volunteering and volunteer management in multiple fields, and there really is lots of choice out there for things that suit you; anything from sorting files quietly in a back room to using computer knowledge (often VERY absent in community groups lol) to help with maintaining websites & promoting community events. One of my personal favourite volunteer shifts was acting as a helper to the organizers of a queer electronic music festival, running a "build your own synthesizer" workshop. Literally I was just ticking off names on a registration sheet and doing setup and fetching things, but it was one of the coolest things I've had the joy to be involved in.

The other plus here is that activists in a given city all usually have some social overlap. If you email, say, your local community centre, explain your interests & circumstances & skills, and ask what you could do - they might not have anything right that moment, but likely someone there will know a different group that needs something similar, or they'll have ideas for who you could try next. Even if you're not finding a lot online right away, have faith in the (slightly haphazard) offline community org social scene. Same deal if you get involved with something and realize it's not your thing after all - just be honest, and ask for help in finding something more suited to you. It's so, so common, and no one's going to get angry with you for wanting to help in ways you're better suited for.

Don't mistake me when I nudge you towards volunteering - there's a certain way that well-meaning (usually) liberals treat volunteering, like they're 'donating' their time as charity, and I am not advocating for that. I'm just saying that you really don't have to reinvent the wheel. There are structures in place run by people who know well how to do it. Part of the importance is the work itself; the file-sorting, the computer help, whatever. But another part is building connections with the people around you, and also letting those people benefit from the privilege of knowing you. And that will happen naturally over time. The muscle will grow as you use it more, even if you need to start with something that feels to you like it might not be enormously significant in the grand scheme of things. Maybe you move on to 'bigger' things, or maybe you gain new perspective and realize just how significant your contributions are after all.

[herrscherofmagic]

Collection of WIPs for my newest honkai 3rd AU: a synth- and post-punk band AU! featuring the band “Mirror Mirage”

More art and an explanation further below

I dont want to put too many details down yet since i intend to do more with this and don’t necessarily want to spoil future story stuff, but the gist of it is that its an AU focused on the villainous Herrscher personas (except Veli, but she fits the vibe lol)

The tentative setting I’m working with for now is Central Florida and its meant to be a more serious/realistic AU with a focus on young adult life, not late-teens stuff. Think less “fun times at Perfect Fairytale College(TM) with my besties! Lets have fun and study today!” and more “rent is due, my roommates are assholes, the hourly bus is 20 minutes late again, and i almost got hit by a drunk driver on my way to work for the third time week and it’s only Tuesday”. That sort of thing lmao

I’m not sure if there’s any real interest in a story that focuses more on some underrated characters like Herrscher Mei (not normal Mei as a Herrscher, but her alternate persona), much less a story that also deals with more serious IRL issues

Mei is bassist and a vocalist, formerly lead until Kiana (more precisely HoV in Honkai terms) joined; Mei also handles the finances as she is an accountant in her day job working at a community redevelopment agency. Has a strong sense of justice and puts on an air of confidence and superiority on stage and when fending off hostile folks, but acts with great humility with the ordinary people she encounters in her daily life.

Kiana is the (new) lead vocalist. Works the graveyard shift at a gas station and is a self-proclaimed “cynical asshole” that barely gets along with anyone else; also plays the guitar occasionally. She was dragged in by Mei and reluctantly joined the band, leading to an awkward and tense relationship with the others, but her incredible skill as a vocalist means the rest of them put up with her shitty attitude.

Seele is the lead guitarist; she is an immigrant from Estonia and came to the US with Elysia a couple years back, in early 2022. Keeps in touch w/ Bronya, who is still living back in Europe. Tends to be a bit withdrawn but is very loyal to the band and would throw hands to protect the crew. Seele has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and is a system comprised of two alters: Saule and Veliona. Veliona is the one that actively plays in the band.

Elysia (HoC in Honkai terms) is the synth player and mixer, and does a lot of work in planning and executing complicated tracks both live and in studio recordings. Despite being having no local heritage, she loves switching between a southern cowgirl persona and her usual preppy nice-girl persona. Since Elysia is said to be from “Vladivostok 51” in Honkai canon, that would make her Russian; however for the purposes of this story im headcanoning her as Ukrainian (which ik is far from Vladivostok irl), simply to mix things up a bit, lol

Fu Hua (Senti in Honkai terms) is the drummer; still a college student, shes a bit of an odd one out in the group, but was there since the beginning and has grown close with the rest. Has a bit of an attitude and says cocky things, but is much more timid at heart and acts a lot more calm with her friends at school.

A huge part of the inspiration for this story is a desire to try and depict the more ordinary aspects of urban life, adding flavor to mundane daily activities without relying on magic or scifi or high-octane action and drama. The villains of the story aren’t comic book supervillains, but rather its the various systems that the characters have to live within- corrupt governance, financial struggle, societal divide, etc.

I also really want to tell a story that emphasizes the queer experience. Not just the usual lovey-dovey girls-love stuff, but what life is actually like for real women in real sapphic relationships when living in the state that passed the infamous “Don’t Say Gay” bill IRL. As much as I love the canon KiaMei relationship in Honkai 3rd, i think it’s hella sanitized and can’t really convey the depth of the history and culture of the LGBTQ+ community. So I’m hoping to address this by placing their relationship in a specific real setting, one where LGBTQ+ folks (including myself) have to fight for our rights, acceptance, and representation.

As for musical inspiration I largely draw from a few big sources: one of the bigger inspirations is ASTROPHYSICS & MINTTT, as well as more recently Chappell Roan; genre influences include rock/punk, synth/EDM, and Sovietwave! This is both inspiration for their vibes and also for what type of music i imagine this band would play

The last image is a more suggestive one but ive hastily and sloppily censored it, so hopefully that is okay with y’all x-x

I rarely make spicier content like this, but having listened to The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess for the first time today and then listening to it 4 more times in a row, I couldn’t help but push the limits of what i usually do just that little bit, lol

[dallasgallant]

Is it okay if I ask about how being gay was viewed in the 50-60s? I feel it it’s obviously not very accepted, but I’m curious to hear an in-depth explanation. And what are some common terms used back them for queer people? And if you can, I’d like to see it relate back to the outsiders, lol.

Yes! This one may take a minute as I don’t know too too much off the top of my head, but would be glad to give you a low down.

Something particular to note is that being gay was technically illegal, well having gay sex anyway and Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder until 1973.

There was work on decriminalizing gay relationships that did start in the 60s but the last few states officially overturned the statute in 2003! This isn’t to say there was no community or anyone out of the closet mind you, just highlights way so many were. ( not everyone was in instant prison or institutionalized)

there was a lot of coding and language and such like that, that people use today in a detached way or misinterpreted way. As a lot of it was localized both for secrecy but also the technology of the time.

Views varied! Not everyone was abjectly against in a mustache twirling away, more that they’d see it as “deviant” or misguided. Those more neutral would just quietly go about their lives with friends, loved ones who were

Terms:

Gay would be coming into use but “Homosexual” was more common. As back in the day “gay” was happy -> like “you’ll have a gay old time/ “don we now our gay apparel”

queer (derogatory) fairy , nance , pansy , punk (very different from punk rock movement, derogatory term), fruit, queen , pretty boy, sissy -> these are all derogatory mind you. May bring in some in group terminology in the actual post.

[hughiecampbelle]

Succession Preference: Baby Roy Coming Out

Requested: hiya! i was wondering if you could do some Roy sibling headcanons regarding them realizing they are lgbtq+/being in their first (openly) lgbtq+ relationship :3 this blog gives me so much joy, thank you for all that you do!! 💚💚💚 - anon

Requested: Headcanon/fic request :) What if baby Roy came out to their siblings as part of the lgbt+ community? How do you think they would react? Would they be comforting or confused? Especially since most are involved in a conservative news conglomerate. - anon

Requested: Hi! i love your baby roy fics❤️ could i requests baby roy coming out as queer to the sibs? i think it would be so interesting to know their reactions and how logan may have influenced those. thank you so much🫶🫶 - anon

Requested: ooooh! what if baby Roy was queer in some way? - anon

A/N: Happy pride month, my loves!!! These were all requests from months ago, I'm so sorry it took me this long!!! I never actually came out to my family. I've told friends and (accidentally) a few cousins lol, just not my mom/grandparents/etc. It just feels like it's my business and not anyone else's. Still, I am absolutely in love with this idea! I kept things pretty general so that a larger amount of people could relate rather than focused solely on a single gender/sexuality specifically! Feedback is always appreciated!!! 💜💜💜

Connor doesn't really understand what you mean. Connor is much older than you and the rest of your siblings. He was brought up in a different time. He doesn't really understand beyond the basics. Still, you're his baby. He wants to know everything about you, he wants there to be no secrets between you. So, that means doing lots of Googling and ending up on some sketchy, inappropriate websites. The next time he sees you, and you're able to get a moment alone, he pulls out his list of questions he has for you. Some things you can explain, others you have to figure out before you get back to him. You're still new to all of this. None of you were introduced to relationships and people and expressions that were different than heterosexual and cisgender. You still have a lot of questions and feelings and self-doubts that you have to work through before you can figure out these obscure references your brother has found on the internet. He's so proud of you, that he makes clear, even if he is a little confused. He gets you a little flag and hangs his own outside of his home. No one ever visits him besides you, so you're the only one who sees it. He wants to go to your local Pride and parade you around. Connor loves you, you're his baby. Regardless of your differences, he will always be there for you. Always.

Kendall thinks you're doing this for attention. That all of this is a phase you'll grow out of and realize you were wrong about. You don't officially come out to him. You know better. It's Connor who tells him when you start dressing differently/inviting potential partners over who are more than just friends. Kendall can't wrap his head around it. He doesn't understand that you were born this way, this is who you've always been, and not just a decision you made one day. He doesn't really get that being lgbtq+ isn't a choice. As far as he can understand, you're doing this to get (the wrong kind of) attention from Logan. That you want to be different and act out and so you're doing this. It doesn't matter that you're a rational adult just coming to terms with who you are, he still sees you as an irrational little kid. Connor tries to help by explaining the different colors in the flag/s, but that just makes him more confused and when he's confused he gets angry. When you fight, because when do the Roy siblings not fight, it's the first thing he brings up as a means of saying you're not as adult as you think you are if you're going to live your life like this. It's like a slap to the face every time. When they were married, Rava tried to get him to understand this isn't what he thinks it is, but nothing and no one can get through to him. He is your Mini Logan. There's no getting through to him about the matter.

Shiv is trying to be as comforting as possible. You were a teenager when you came out to her. You were full of so many confusing feelings, feeling you couldn't vocalize to anyone until it just sort of came out. Luckily, it was Shiv you said it to and not Kendall or your father. You were so upset, distressed, lost, she figured comforting you would be first and then addressing what you said. Shiv wasn't bothered by what you had said, who you said you were. She knew plenty of lgbtg+ people in college. She even went to a few gay clubs just to party. Still, she was of the mind that you were maybe a little too young to really know what those words meant. She said this, which, in the moment, broke your heart. Your sister, the person you went to when you were having friendship problems and disagreement with your father, truly believed you were too young to have figured this out about yourself. For so many years you thought there was something wrong with you, and you finally had words to describe it, and this is all she had to say? Of course, as the years go on, and you're more open about who you are in this family, she recognizes she might have been wrong. She would never admit to that, of course. She'll always be the first person you came out to. It's not a great story to have, but the hurt lessens as time goes on and you realize, though you have always known, your family isn't caught up with the times. They can say they're progressive, but it's in name only.

The first thing Roman does is list off as many crude jokes as he can. One after the other, a few of them with slurs, until he's gotten it all out of his system. Truthfully, he doesn't really care what you do or who you do as long as it's not in front of him. He's been ridiculed by Logan, and your siblings, about his sexuality (or lack thereof) that he can't understand why you're willingly telling him this thing about you that will make you different. In his mind, you're inviting the ridicule and blame that'll come from your father (and Kendall). Why would you admit to this? Why can't you just keep it to yourself? Why can't other people just keep these kinds of things to themselves? He's not against it. He's had his fair share of crushes on all types of people. But he thinks that it's a bit much when you start dressing differently or inviting partners to events/holidays. You're making yourself a target for hate and anger and confusion. He's spent his whole life trying to shield himself from those kinds of emotions because it can lead to hurt and abuse. In his mind, you coming out just invites these feelings and issues, leaving you vulnerable. He cringes every time you tell someone new because he fears it'll lead to blame and ridicule. He doesn't understand why you have to be so open about this when, for decades, people like you lived in secret? What's so hard about keeping it a secret? It's safer that way.

[velvetvexations]

Really love how every time I argue with people on here about how actually trans men do not generally have it meaningfully better than trans women, people avoid actually explaining their points or providing sources and start calling me a little boy. Very fun. Love that. It's so fun to be insulted for asking asking people to explain their point

No one can actually explain that.

rhea ripley is so hot. and for what

for me to be all Weird Trans Woman about her

Honestly as an non binary person, I feel more and more pushed out of the community with the serious adherence to the binary. "if you Id as this you MUST be this thing, you're you're a liar and a faker and you're hurting other trans people" that, and the denial of trans men's oppression. It's just cruel and bitter, and seeing other trans people go down this path is pretty disheartening

it's so depressing

Well, you see, it's not like saying they're transitioning from black to white, because OBVIOUSLY, just like race, your soulgender is immediately apparent to everyone as soon as you plop out the womb

lmao so true

(also I've heard soulgender is a Black thing and it should be spelled with like, a space or a hyphen? so I'm probably gonna do that from now on)

"Trans men are the White People of the trans community" Oh okay so yeah this is just "Ace people are the White People of the Queer Community" all over again huh Begging other whities to stop comparing race and gender like this, makes you look stupid as fuck

pls

Fascinated to know if the "All trans women are nonbinary" crowd also believe all trans men are nonbinary

you'd think so the way they insist trans men cling to being AFAB lmao

Went to check /-/'s blog and she's reblogging pro Chat-GPT and anti-copyright posts now

I'm tapping the sign.

as a nonbinary thing i feel like so much tma/tme shit just completely fucking forgets us like im not „occasionally mistaken as a trans woman” its a fucking coin flip!!!!!!!! my „AGAB” doesbt matter 2 ppl outside the the internet!!!!! all that matters is no matter what i wear no one wants me i their bathroom!!!!!

people don't even just hate you for when they mistake you for a trans woman anon they hate non-binary people AFAB too

i kinda feel like the discourse is becoming more mainstream now. im seeing a lot of trans bloggers who dont post much about trans issues making posts about it (usually along the lines of "can we be normal about trans guys please" which is nice)

good maybe the backlash will finally kick in

Idk if this is me generalizing but I’ve started noticing that headcanons of canonically male characters as trans women that get traction are usually skinny and have trauma or coded with anxiety or depression. Like idk if that means literally anything but just a weird observation I had

a lotta people on here literally define being a woman as when bad things happen to you lmao

I was looking at the Patricia Taxxon stuff (funny enough, did actually see you @ ed in deleted replies) and I saw the sentence “However, being discriminated on the basis of being perceived as a manly woman is just an adverse effect of transmisogyny directed towards trans men.” Which. Hey now. What about butch women. Like how does that not uniquely apply to cis butch lesbians, even if we ignore trans men entirely.

MAINSTREAM SOCIETY LOVES TOMBOYS

Man. It really sucks when a popular-ish figure you look up to turns out to be transandrophobic. Should have seen it coming ig. She was intersexist too, and those often go hand in hand.

well I mean it sounds like you shouldn't have looked up to her already lmao

IIRC from old drama, Patricia Taxxon also thinks toxic masculinity isn't a real thing that can harm men because it's just splash damage from misogyny and they should get over it, lol, so I'm not surprised if she's turned out to be weird about trans men

lmao literally just that radfem-libfem feminism-is-for-women comic huh

Tragic: local man forced to actually read Serano's writing for the theory he's trying to make even though the way she talks about transmasculinity and female gender nonconformity gives him a headache

F