#what local queer community? lol.

[cliveguy]

i feel like there must be a way about talking about transmisogyny in trans spaces without making posts that act like every single trans person comes from a large liberal usamerican city

[growinguparo]

Hi! I just wanted to jump in and say thank you, because your blog has actually helped me a lot recently. I read your post from a while back (like a WHILE, 4ish years ago) about the aro/ace future and what that looks like as we get older. I’ve been coming to terms on and off in the past few years about how averse I am to relationships and dating, and with the fact that really don’t care if I’m single for the rest of my life. But you very nearly articulated the main concern: what happens when everyone else is wrapped up in their marriages and their families I am truly alone? I’m still not sure that the aromantic identity is accurate for me, but it feels pretty close and so thank you, again, for opening this world up to me and putting words to my feelings. :)

Aww thank you for telling me!! 💚

I still feel the way I did when I wrote that post, although it occupies less of my brainspace than it used to. However, I will take this opportunity to talk about the big thing in my social life that changed since 2020: I dove hard into my local community. Any local community will do I think, but the main one for me was my local trans community. I was also in a community music ensemble, I spent a couple years in a survivor support group, and I went to local queer events. I valued those communities highly enough that they were the main reason I was upset to be moving to a new city.

Community made a huge difference for me. I wasn’t really friends with any of them exactly (like I rarely hung out with any of them outside of whatever thing we had together), and community definitely doesn’t occupy the same niche of social requirements as friends or a partner. But it HELPS. It helps with social support, feeling connected to other people, having regular social interaction, and (crucially imo) meeting people who are older than you in a peer environment instead of one where they are of higher status than you.

I know so many trans people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, even 70s, from my local trans community - variously single, married, divorced, multiply divorced, dating, polyamorous, nonamorous, etc. It really broadened my view of what people older than me are actually doing in real life, not just what the twenty-somethings around me anticipate they will be doing when they are that age. People who are like me too, queer transgender people who will never fit the conventional narrative. It enriched my life in a way I wasn’t expecting.

I still don’t know what an aroace future looks like and it’s still scary but at least now I know that mine will include local communities and that I can get a fair amount of the social fulfillment I’m seeking from them.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

.

[anistarrose]

Please don't tune out when you get to the non-partisan section of your ballot this November. First off, where state Supreme Court justices are elected, Republicans are trying their darndest to elect candidates who will destroy reproductive freedom, gut voting rights, and do everything in their power to give "contested" elections to Republicans. Contrast Wisconsin electing a justice in 2023 who helped rule two partisan gerrymanders unconstitutional, versus North Carolina electing a conservative majority in 2022, who upheld a racist voter ID law and a partisan gerrymander that liberal justices had previously struck down both of.

Second, local judicial offices will make infinitely more of an impact on your community than a divided state or federal legislature will. District and circuit courts, especially, are where criminalization of homelessness and poverty play out, and where electing a progressive judge with a commitment to criminal justice reform can make an immediate difference in people's lives.

It's a premier example of buying people time, and doing profound-short-term good, while we work to eventually change the system. You might not think there will be any such progressive justices running in your district, but you won't know unless you do your research. (More on "research" in a moment.)

The candidates you elect to your non-partisan city council will determine whether those laws criminalizing homelessness get passed, how many blank checks the police get to surveil and oppress, and whether lifesaving harm reduction programs, like needle exchanges and even fentanyl test strips, are legal in your municipality. Your non-partisan school board might need your vote to fend off Moms for Liberty candidates and their ilk, who want to ban every book with a queer person or acknowledgement of racism in it.

Of course, this begs the question — if these candidates are non-partisan, and often hyper-local, then how do I research them? There's so much less information and press about them, so how do I make an informed decision?

I'm not an expert, myself. But I do think/hope I have enough tips to consist of a useful conclusion to this post:

Plan ahead. If you vote in person, figure out what's on your ballot before you show up and get jumpscared by names you don't know. Find out what's on your ballot beforehand, and bring notes with you when you vote. Your city website should have a sample ballot, and if they drop the ball, go to Ballotpedia.

Ballotpedia in general, speaking of which. Candidates often answer Ballotpedia's interviews, and if you're lucky, you'll also get all the dirt on who's donating to their campaign.

Check endorsements. Usually candidates are very vocal about these on their websites. If local/state progressive leaders and a couple unions (not counting police unions lol) are endorsing a candidate, then that's not the end of my personal research process per se, but it usually speeds things up.

Check the back of the ballot. That's where non-partisan races usually bleed over to. This is the other reason why notes are helpful, because they can confirm you're not missing anything.

I've seen some misconceptions in the reblogs, so an addendum to my point about bringing notes on the candidates: I strongly suggest making those notes a physical list that you bring polling place with you. Many states do allow phones at the polling place, but several states explicitly don't — Nevada, Maryland, and Texas all ban phones, and that may not be an exhaustive list. There may also be states that allow individual city clerks to set policies.

You should also pause and think before you take a photo of your ballot, because even some states that don't ban phones still ban ballot photographs. But whether it's a photo, or just having your phone in general — in an environment as high-risk for voter suppression as the current one, you don't want even a little bit of ambiguity about your conduct. Physical notes are your friends.

[no-sp4g-4-b4by]

Real queer situation going on: for context, my bf and I were poly when we met a few months back, but we've recently gone monogamous. So now he was invited to a drag show by his friend he was involved with not long ago, so we're going there tonight. His other friend is gonna be coming along (she's involved with his brother). And now I Just learned that my ex partner, that I haven't seen since the breakup, was invited by his friend (that I lowkey had a crush on) who himself was invited by a drag queen, is gonna be there tonight!

So gonna be meeting my bf's "ex" and bf is gonna be meeting my ex. And friend I have a crush on. And our other friend is gonna witness all that lol.

What a shit show, I can't wait.

[jenny-in-a-jar]

🩷🩵🤍 5 Days Until my Surgery 🤍🩵🩷

(Picture taken September 1, 2022)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 6 below the cut.

Part 1 here

Me and my partner got back together and got a place together and we still live in this apartment together 🥰 I also worked at worked at a local amusement park over the summer that had some fun but mostly was horrible due to angry customers that kept misgendering me and kids making fun of me 🙃 But also I'll say I had one of my most euphoric moment when this little girl pointed to her winged eyeliner and said "you're just like me!" Bc I also had winged eyeliner at the time 🥰

(Picture taken June 6th, 2022)

Also, if the last Era was the peak of my egirl era on twitter than this was the fall of my egirl era 📉

I remember reaching 10k followers and thinking "ok I have enough of a following to try to make money off this." It's what a lot of egirls on there did and as I stated above, I hated my job. I thought briefly about streaming and YouTube but I don't really have the personality for streaming and was too self-conscious of my voice to do YouTube. And there were a lot of sex workers on twitter that I knew, followed, and admired. And there was quite the market for trans sexual content. Also I wanted to basically be paid to look pretty all day 🤷‍♀️ So, I made a OnlyFans account and started promoting it.

(Picture taken May 9th, 2022)

And I quickly got shadow banned for it 😂 And frankly, I wasn't really meant for sex work. I'm not really a sexual person. I do enjoy sexual acts but doing them for money killed my drive for it. I made a few hundred dollars but I didn't make enough content for it to keep it up.

Also, the shadow banned revealed how unhealthy my relationship with Twitter was. My self worth would be highly dependent on how well my posts did that day (I was still posting pictures daily). And I was hypercritical of my picture quality and my physical features. And developed a bad habit of comparing myself to girls I considered prettier than me. And with the constant misgendering from work, I was at a big low 🥲

(Picture taken September 17th, 2022)

I remember this was when there was first talk about Elon buying Twitter and I was looking for an alternative and well... ended up here.

(Picture taken June 2nd, 2022)

I remember the idea between this pic was clothes and accessories that weren't explicitly queer but gave queer vibes.

Also talking about queerness, I also participated in a Drag Show! I played a mushroom fairy!

(Picture taken August 13th, 2022)

It was organized by this local queer nonprofit that did a lot in the community and was already a big part of my life but would become a bigger part of my life.

Also this was when I was done with the curly girl method. And I like how my hair looks like this and it's easier 🤷‍♀️

(Picture taken September 4th, 2022)

Also love how often I get used out of this mushroom beret 😁🍄😁 (which is why I have 2 pics with it on this post lol)

Also an update on my love life at this time. I at one point had 4 partners very briefly and was part of a polycule over over 22 people. I remember one of my metamours made a chart showing all the relationships and it was complicated 😅 Also it was mostly online. Like 2 of my partners were long distance relationships.

(Picture taken Oct 2nd, 2022)

Around my 23rd birthday, I decided to do what was best for my mental health and quit twitter. But I had two last pictures because I got them from some followers who bought me things from my Amazon wishlist I made for my birthday.

(Picture taken October 29, 2022)

This one would be useful for the next era. And you can see a small part of my large collection of plushies (which I have a project in mind for 👀)

(Picture taken on November 8th, 2022)

And this was the last picture I posted on Twitter before quitting at 36k followers. I had already stopped posting on it for awhile so you can imagine my surprise when I got a big pink teddy bear 😱 And for all the work I put into that account, I consider this a pretty good prize 🧸💕

I consider Tumblr my last attempt with having a healthy relationship with social media. If this account goes away, I'll probably be done with Social Media 🤷‍♀️ I think I'm getting better at breaking those bad habits I developed on Twitter while still trying to enjoy the art of dressing up and taking selfies. But, I don't know if I'll ever have the drive for it like I did during my twitter days.

With my summer job ending and twitter as a way to make a living out of the window you may be concerned with how I recovered but I got really lucky and I'll go into detail on that tomorrow 😁

[bonyassfish]

The reason Drag Kings aren’t as popular as Drag Queens is because the entire point of Drag is to perform Gay stereotypes in a way that conflates them with Trans Femininity for the amusement of Cis people. You're not Trans Femme, IE they don't know how to laugh at you. Like I get Drag Performers wanna make out that you're doing this big artsy queer thing when you do drag - but Drag is for Cis People and it always has been. It's a highly conditional and often very transphobic space that Cis people let Trans people exist in if we agree to perform caricatures of ourselves... and because Cis people think Trans Women are a Joke and basically have no idea that Trans Men even exist, Drag Queens get more laughs and Drag Kings just confuse them.

…what the fuck are you talking about

That is absolutely not the point of drag. Most drag performers would say that drag is about performing gender, in its many many forms

I know so many trans people who are drag performers. Trans people have always been a part of drag and drag culture.

There is of course an issue with transphobia in drag communities (I mean rupaul is arguably one of the most famous queens in the world and is pretty transphobic) but you seem to be implying there’s no space at all for trans folks in drag. Which ignores the fact that drag is just as much an art form pioneered by and still used enjoyed by trans folks

Like I’m sorry drag race has brain rotted you but stop making that everyone else’s problem lol. Go to a local drag show and give some money to your local trans mutual aid fund

[bengiyo]

Love Sea Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Tongrak, a successful romance author, was sent by his friends to an island to relax and work on his next novel. Unfortunately, Tongrak was a complete asshole about this, and took that out on his host, Mahasamut, who seems fully equipped to deal with a spoiled rich kid from Bangkok. Tongrak apparently needs to have sex to work through the scene he needs to write, and is also clearly interested in Mut. We left at Mut accidentally scaring Rak and trying to take care of him.

Lol, I love them opening up with voiceover reaffirming that Rak wants to fuck Mut. This is not one sided.

As charged as that was, sex on a beach is grimy!

Chapter 2: Echoes Across the Endless Blue

Oh right, Mook has to change a light bulb.

Rak is being so dramatic about a scratch.

"This isn't a bad," and, "Open your mouth," and, "Not your turn," are sending me.

Head on the beach in episode 2? Finally, adult gay representation in BL.

I'm with Mut! I would be annoyed as hell if my partner wanted to stop and immediately begin writing as things were getting good.

Man, this apartment gets used semi regularly now for the shows.

Wow, MAME is giving ass now.

Well, I'll give them points for mentioning the condoms, but docking several for using teeth.

Don't act like you ain't have a great time, Rak. I saw those expressions.

Rak is so consistently rude! He's even rude about the social politics of sex! Mut even offered to help with cleanup.

I wonder how long Vie has been crushing on Mook, because she's clearly enjoying having someone like Mook around.

They made this boy play the exposition gossip two shows in a row.

I do love the way Mut is rolling with Rak's aggressive behavior. If the rich guest is sprung and throwing money you already said he didn't need to throw at you, then by all means.

Well well well. Rak showed some consideration there about how public he's being with Mut. I like knowing that Mut is out and still carries so much respect in his community. But also, you gotta know how much you can get away with and where you can do it.

My man got locals jumping into conversations to gas him up. Respect. It's hard when tourism is a big part of your economy, because the finance class does not share.

A queer man kicked out of the home by his dad who has worked hard to build his place in his community? No choice but to stan.

Oh boy, when the writer is the executive producer and the director, they can include a romance author as a lead character to speak to their detractors.

Yes, please eat before more flies show up.

MAME characters are so interesting in that they'll go out of their way to set two people up, and then be damned sure they explain their baggage to each other.

Why would this man jump into the ocean on his own like that?

Whoa, what about this location triggered all this trauma? Seems like he has a friend who got abandoned with a pregnancy, and that connected to his mom's issues with his dad?

Are we gonna end every episode on the boat after a flash of trauma?

A romance novelist who doesn't believe in love. I am invested.

Those reveals came fast at the end, but at least we're seeing where the transactional presumptions around sexual loyalty may have come from with Rak. I like that Mut takes the money in stride, and was plain about how hard the hustle is for local businesses on this island. I'm also so relieved that we have adult, out characters discussing how public they can afford to be with their flirting. There's too much Thai BL in the bubble right now and failing at it. I'm really enjoying this.

[sturionic]

hey, you said your inbox is open and I was curious if you have any ideas for someone who can't get involved irl in things like protests and local antifa groups (physically disabled and incapacitatingly severe anxiety), and who can't get involved in online activism beyond reblogging stuff (personal reasons, difficult to explain)?

I've been considering trying to put together care packages for local unhoused people, but I'm poor and I'd have to convince someone to help me put everything together so idk how well that will go.

I don't want to sit around doing nothing.

Hey anon! I am very glad you reached out, and this is a question I get asked a lot by people IRL, so you are very much not alone here.

I think the first order of business is expanding your definition of activism. We have been done a great disservice by having activism framed for us as protests, charity, & singular heroes making speeches and changing hearts through celebrity. In reality, the smaller actions in your community have a much greater impact; and most of all, the things you personally have to offer make the greatest impact.

This diagram is specifically geared towards climate action, but really applies to all activism:

For you to be an effective activist/volunteer/community member, it's crucial to find the centre of that diagram, or else you're on a one-way ticket to burnout. Don't get caught up in trying to judge which is the most "important" activism, because that answer will be different for everyone. The most important thing you can do for the world is the thing you can do.

I've done lots of volunteering and volunteer management in multiple fields, and there really is lots of choice out there for things that suit you; anything from sorting files quietly in a back room to using computer knowledge (often VERY absent in community groups lol) to help with maintaining websites & promoting community events. One of my personal favourite volunteer shifts was acting as a helper to the organizers of a queer electronic music festival, running a "build your own synthesizer" workshop. Literally I was just ticking off names on a registration sheet and doing setup and fetching things, but it was one of the coolest things I've had the joy to be involved in.

The other plus here is that activists in a given city all usually have some social overlap. If you email, say, your local community centre, explain your interests & circumstances & skills, and ask what you could do - they might not have anything right that moment, but likely someone there will know a different group that needs something similar, or they'll have ideas for who you could try next. Even if you're not finding a lot online right away, have faith in the (slightly haphazard) offline community org social scene. Same deal if you get involved with something and realize it's not your thing after all - just be honest, and ask for help in finding something more suited to you. It's so, so common, and no one's going to get angry with you for wanting to help in ways you're better suited for.

Don't mistake me when I nudge you towards volunteering - there's a certain way that well-meaning (usually) liberals treat volunteering, like they're 'donating' their time as charity, and I am not advocating for that. I'm just saying that you really don't have to reinvent the wheel. There are structures in place run by people who know well how to do it. Part of the importance is the work itself; the file-sorting, the computer help, whatever. But another part is building connections with the people around you, and also letting those people benefit from the privilege of knowing you. And that will happen naturally over time. The muscle will grow as you use it more, even if you need to start with something that feels to you like it might not be enormously significant in the grand scheme of things. Maybe you move on to 'bigger' things, or maybe you gain new perspective and realize just how significant your contributions are after all.

[a-roguish-gambit]

Oh goddddd. Something I reblogged earlier today has given me the best/worst x men brainrot

X-Men maid cafe.

It starts out simple enough with a need for money to help cover maintenance costs at the school. Shit gets blown up/destroyed all the time there. Tis expensive AF.

The queer community is the most mutant friendly out there and many of the X-Men are some flavor of not straight so Charles puts it up to Scott and the others to come up with a way to do a 50/50 split donation drive of sorts in combination with the local LGBT rights org for the school and the org at a local pride festival.

People are brainstorming shit and aren't coming up with anything and then morph jokes "lol what if we did that shit they do in all the super power school animes where they have a maid cafe"

The girls all roll their eyes. Most of the guys look unamused. Jean Grey telepathically flicks a paperclip at them. Then Gambit speaks up, suddenly very enthusiastic about the idea and tries to encourage the others to do the idea.

Storm immediately shuts him down. Jean grey tries to challenge him "sure we can do that...except in the spirit of pride it should be a drag cafe. Women as butlers, men as maids" hoping it would scare him off.

Gambit just looks more enthused. "PERFECT! GAMBIT LOVES DAT IDEA!"

The room is silent. Storm, jean, and rogue share surprised looks before shrugging their shoulders and voting yes. Kurt, Bobby, and morph are up for it too. With majority vote they go through with it.

Gambit and jean fight over the menu. Gambit wanting a full restaurant style menu going and Jean furiously reminding him that this is only going to be up for like a week and none of his choices are cafe food.

They some how manage to get Logan into the outfit and he looks like an angry cat some child played dress up with.

Jubilee working the kitchen and sending the items out with the gayest most sparkling presentation.

Bobby was declared the milkshake king by a group of LGBT gen Zers.

They have donation jars marked with each server's name labeled "tell us which server is your favorite" Hank and Kurt are tied for first place.

Hank is so confused people keep telling him he's amazing and wonderful and keeping asking him for hugs even if they are not attracted to him at all.

Local poetry lesbians have adopted him as their group guy friend.

Kurt: "vy do že keep calling me 'twink'? Pretty sure it's a compliment but I vish I knew vat it meant."

The bi community stanning rogue and gambit. The same group of 10 or so bi peeps coming in and stuffing their jars with ones.

They ended up coming up with x men themed treats. There's cupcakes with little red candy sunglasses on them for cyclops, and a midnight blue flan style pudding with strawberries for nightcrawler. And of course Remy beignet.

Charles is oblivious to this until they open up shop. Goes in to check out how stuff is going, sees just students in non X-Men costumes and just....processes for a few minutes before saying "good work. Have fun" and wheeling himself out the door.

Idk this is probably dumb but I love it ok let them do stupid stuff

[genderqueerdykes]

Hello! I am wondering if you have advice about finding IRL queer community.

The advice I've gotten so far feels a bit like the "How to eat a watermelon" problem where it's assumed I know more than I do, and I bite directly into the rind of the melon because no one mentioned I should cut it first lol.

Where does one find queer community? Under rocks? 😂 Thanks!

honestly i get that, its hard to find where people meet up, what spaces are deemed queer spaces, etc. ! it's not easy in most places!

local universities can be a great place to start if they have a pride group or anything like that. i also recommend browsing whatever social media you use like facebook or instagram where you can see what's going on in your area. you can find queer bars and other places like that which then host and promote different types of events in your area (if you live somewhere where it's safe to)

you may have a transgender resource center in your area, or you may have an independent queer meet up group who organize in public spaces at set times. it really depends on where you live. obviously queer bars might not be everyone's thing, but they generally also have posters and information about irl queer events

sometimes libraries will have posters and information about these types of gatherings, but it seems like almost everything is word of mouth and social media right now. starting out small can help a lot, whether it's asking someone at the college's pride group or finding a local dyke night, drag show, or queer social on social media, even meeting just one person can help.

push comes to shove you can also try to use queer dating apps to meet people and build a network. i get recommended lex a lot but i don't use these things personally.

i hope that makes sense! good luck! it's not easy, it can be very stressful! let us know if you need any more help!

[hughiecampbelle]

Succession Preference: Baby Roy Coming Out

Requested: hiya! i was wondering if you could do some Roy sibling headcanons regarding them realizing they are lgbtq+/being in their first (openly) lgbtq+ relationship :3 this blog gives me so much joy, thank you for all that you do!! 💚💚💚 - anon

Requested: Headcanon/fic request :) What if baby Roy came out to their siblings as part of the lgbt+ community? How do you think they would react? Would they be comforting or confused? Especially since most are involved in a conservative news conglomerate. - anon

Requested: Hi! i love your baby roy fics❤️ could i requests baby roy coming out as queer to the sibs? i think it would be so interesting to know their reactions and how logan may have influenced those. thank you so much🫶🫶 - anon

Requested: ooooh! what if baby Roy was queer in some way? - anon

A/N: Happy pride month, my loves!!! These were all requests from months ago, I'm so sorry it took me this long!!! I never actually came out to my family. I've told friends and (accidentally) a few cousins lol, just not my mom/grandparents/etc. It just feels like it's my business and not anyone else's. Still, I am absolutely in love with this idea! I kept things pretty general so that a larger amount of people could relate rather than focused solely on a single gender/sexuality specifically! Feedback is always appreciated!!! 💜💜💜

Connor doesn't really understand what you mean. Connor is much older than you and the rest of your siblings. He was brought up in a different time. He doesn't really understand beyond the basics. Still, you're his baby. He wants to know everything about you, he wants there to be no secrets between you. So, that means doing lots of Googling and ending up on some sketchy, inappropriate websites. The next time he sees you, and you're able to get a moment alone, he pulls out his list of questions he has for you. Some things you can explain, others you have to figure out before you get back to him. You're still new to all of this. None of you were introduced to relationships and people and expressions that were different than heterosexual and cisgender. You still have a lot of questions and feelings and self-doubts that you have to work through before you can figure out these obscure references your brother has found on the internet. He's so proud of you, that he makes clear, even if he is a little confused. He gets you a little flag and hangs his own outside of his home. No one ever visits him besides you, so you're the only one who sees it. He wants to go to your local Pride and parade you around. Connor loves you, you're his baby. Regardless of your differences, he will always be there for you. Always.

Kendall thinks you're doing this for attention. That all of this is a phase you'll grow out of and realize you were wrong about. You don't officially come out to him. You know better. It's Connor who tells him when you start dressing differently/inviting potential partners over who are more than just friends. Kendall can't wrap his head around it. He doesn't understand that you were born this way, this is who you've always been, and not just a decision you made one day. He doesn't really get that being lgbtq+ isn't a choice. As far as he can understand, you're doing this to get (the wrong kind of) attention from Logan. That you want to be different and act out and so you're doing this. It doesn't matter that you're a rational adult just coming to terms with who you are, he still sees you as an irrational little kid. Connor tries to help by explaining the different colors in the flag/s, but that just makes him more confused and when he's confused he gets angry. When you fight, because when do the Roy siblings not fight, it's the first thing he brings up as a means of saying you're not as adult as you think you are if you're going to live your life like this. It's like a slap to the face every time. When they were married, Rava tried to get him to understand this isn't what he thinks it is, but nothing and no one can get through to him. He is your Mini Logan. There's no getting through to him about the matter.

Shiv is trying to be as comforting as possible. You were a teenager when you came out to her. You were full of so many confusing feelings, feeling you couldn't vocalize to anyone until it just sort of came out. Luckily, it was Shiv you said it to and not Kendall or your father. You were so upset, distressed, lost, she figured comforting you would be first and then addressing what you said. Shiv wasn't bothered by what you had said, who you said you were. She knew plenty of lgbtg+ people in college. She even went to a few gay clubs just to party. Still, she was of the mind that you were maybe a little too young to really know what those words meant. She said this, which, in the moment, broke your heart. Your sister, the person you went to when you were having friendship problems and disagreement with your father, truly believed you were too young to have figured this out about yourself. For so many years you thought there was something wrong with you, and you finally had words to describe it, and this is all she had to say? Of course, as the years go on, and you're more open about who you are in this family, she recognizes she might have been wrong. She would never admit to that, of course. She'll always be the first person you came out to. It's not a great story to have, but the hurt lessens as time goes on and you realize, though you have always known, your family isn't caught up with the times. They can say they're progressive, but it's in name only.

The first thing Roman does is list off as many crude jokes as he can. One after the other, a few of them with slurs, until he's gotten it all out of his system. Truthfully, he doesn't really care what you do or who you do as long as it's not in front of him. He's been ridiculed by Logan, and your siblings, about his sexuality (or lack thereof) that he can't understand why you're willingly telling him this thing about you that will make you different. In his mind, you're inviting the ridicule and blame that'll come from your father (and Kendall). Why would you admit to this? Why can't you just keep it to yourself? Why can't other people just keep these kinds of things to themselves? He's not against it. He's had his fair share of crushes on all types of people. But he thinks that it's a bit much when you start dressing differently or inviting partners to events/holidays. You're making yourself a target for hate and anger and confusion. He's spent his whole life trying to shield himself from those kinds of emotions because it can lead to hurt and abuse. In his mind, you coming out just invites these feelings and issues, leaving you vulnerable. He cringes every time you tell someone new because he fears it'll lead to blame and ridicule. He doesn't understand why you have to be so open about this when, for decades, people like you lived in secret? What's so hard about keeping it a secret? It's safer that way.

[thelaurenshippen]

How much of an impact has writing and consuming fanfiction had in your writing career?

I ask about fanfiction specifically because it's such an open communication sort of media, it's so easy for author and reader to interact. Do you think you'd write differently if you'd never been in the Fanfiction community? What do you think has carried over from those works and interactions into your current works?

ooh, such a fun question! I've never really thought about this before!

so I will admit, while I have been reading fanfiction since 2006, I never actually wrote fanfiction until 2018 (and then didn't share any of it until 2021). so I think those specific relationships affected my writing in very specific ways.

from a reading perspective, I think fanfic really showed me that a story can be anything, told in a million different kinds of ways. the two fandoms that I was deeply entrenched in/reading fic in were sherlock (lol) and the winter soldier (I stand by it). both of those fandoms - TWS especially - did a lot of very interesting stuff when it came to story structure, multimedia storytelling, etc. while of course there's great published fiction that does the same (I've been a huge David Mitchell stan since I was 20, I read House of Leaves for the first time a few years ago, A Series of Unfortunate Events is such a great example of this tbh), I think there's a lot of freewheeling experimentation in fanfiction that encouraged me to do things like write Some Faraway Place as a mix of journal entries, reddit posts, letters, and tumblr posts.

it's also interesting to me that you bring up the author/reader interaction, because you're right, it is such a huge part of fanfic and a part I rarely thought about for a looooong time. I'm a socially anxious lurker by nature, so I would leave comments (show your local fanfic writer some love!) and I would follow a lot of those writers, but I'd never, like, interact with them directly. and my comments were usually along the lines of "I'M FLINGING MYSELF DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN" rather than openings to conversations lol.

but that changed significantly when I started writing fic. the first fandom I wrote for was SO small and the ship I was writing for even smaller (I'm responsible for over half the fics in that tag), so there wasn't really any interaction there. but then I started writing in a different fandom - still small but much more active - and joined a discord and everything. I'm not really active anymore, but I met someone who now has become one of my best friends and who is a huge reason why Desperate Hollow, my queer outlaw novel, finally got fucking finished.

so being in fanfic really affected my writing in the sense that I found a writer friend who - like a lot of other writing friends - has had a profound affect on me as an artist. but more broadly, writing fic for that fandom - about 200k words of it in eight months - taught me some very important things:

how to write a lot of words very, very quickly

how to let go of something being perfect - no one knows who I am on ao3 and people are just happy to have fic for a small fandom, so it doesn't have to be GOOD

how to write physicality - this is very hard for me, even now. I'm an audio first person, I rarely think about what people look like, how they move their bodies, etc. writing fic is so helpful, because if you're using canon scenes, you don't have to come up with the blocking, you just have to figure out how to describe it.

dialogue/character voice - learning how to mimic a writer's style is good from two perspectives: one, you learn more about style and voice by having to unpack someone else's. two, as a writer working in a scripted medium, you often are trying to write to an established style, because you might be in a writer's room for a world that you didn't create.

this is a less tangible effect, but writing mature works for a fandom that has mostly morally gray characters helped me get more comfortable with being bolder in my own work. Desperate Hollow is about two men in the wild west, one of whom has killed a lot of people, and both of whom are career criminals. the show I'm working on currently has the messiest found family dynamic and it will only get messier. I think in the course of writing TBS, I sometimes got scared of doing the wrong thing, or of leaning too hard into the darker parts of the story, and I'm trying to let my characters and stories be deeply imperfect now.

I hope that answers your questions!

[newtthetranswriter]

Can I request good omens Crowley x reader? Where they’re out and about together and his sunglasses get lost or broken or whatever and reader helps him out somehow bc Crowley doesn’t want to make a big scene? (Leading him while he closes his eyes or lending him their ridiculous heart sunglasses or something idk lol)

Thank you!

Pairing: Crowley x Reader

Word count: 957

A/n: I had fun writing this, I hope you enjoy it. The reader is modeled after me but that’s because it made it easier to write their outfit, you can change it if you want though. Any ways enjoy and remember Requests are currently Open. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

    Today was going to be fantastic. Me, Crowley and Aziraphale were out enjoying a ‘small’ local Pride event. You see, I’m a nonbinary transmasculine person dating the not so evil Demon Crowley. I had convinced him and Aziraphale to come with me to this event for two reasons. One, I love hanging out with my demon and our angel friend. And Two, It’s nice to be able to express myself in a group of people who understand me.

   The best part was, I somehow convinced both of them to drop their monochrome looks for something with a bit more color. Aziraphale was easy to convince, I got him a nice button up with a pride flag on the pocket, a rainbow bow tie and a pair of rainbow shoes. Crowley on the other hand took a bit of bribery. After hours of begging and making promises the demon finally agreed to at least wear bisexual flag tie and a few different pride pins including a nonbinary rainbow.

   You might be asking that if I got those two to wear pride stuff, I must be wearing something as well, and you would be right. I chose to go a little more bold. I decided to wear my nonbinary flag chest binder with a pair of skinny jeans that have different flags embroidered on it. I also opted for my custom pride converse. To complete the look I had turned my Trans flag into a cape with a piece of ribbon and threw on a pair of rainbow heart shaped sunglasses.

   Now that you have an idea of what our lovely little group is wearing on to the event. Like I said it was supposed to be just a small event in the park but knowing the LGBTQ community it blew up fairly quickly. 

   We walked through the park looking at different stands where small businesses were selling different things they made for pride. I pulled my companions over to one table that had different pieces of fan art for popular queer ships, and picked one up for satosugu from JJK paying the kind person on the other side of the table. We then moved on.

   “It’s so lovely to see all these wonderful people come together to celebrate each other.” Aziraphale said observing the large crowd around us.

    I looked over to him and smiled. “I know right in spite of all the terrible things we have to deal with on a daily basis, it’s nice to be able to be open and proud of who we are.” I said enjoying the feeling of being accepted.  We continued to walk as a group before Zira noticed a stand selling a variety of books written by queer authors, and he abruptly excused himself getting lost in the crowd of people leaving me with my demon boyfriend.

    “For the love of Satan!” I heard Crowley exclaim as he let go of my hand. I turned around to see him looking towards the ground. “You gotta be kidding me!” He continued as I noticed his signature sunglasses on the ground, one lens popped out of place and the other shattered on the ground.

    I walked up to him picking the broken glasses up, trying to think of a solution. “Do you have another pair? Or could you miracle new ones?” I asked, realizing there was no fixing the broken glasses.

    He let out a grunt of disdain for the situation. “No, that was my last pair and I very well can’t miracle another in front of these people. I’ll just have to walk around with my eyes closed.” He said, raising his head with his eyes shut hiding his vibrant yellow eyes.

    I looked at him with a frown. “But if you keep your eyes closed you won’t be able to see all the cool things here.” I said with a sad tone. “You could just tell people you’re wearing contacts.” I said, trying to think of ways he could still enjoy the day.

    “No one would believe that, you know contacts don’t dilate and stuff. It’s fine, as long as you lead me around I'm sure we will still have fun.” Crowley said, brushing off my suggestion as we slowly made our way through the crowd. 

    I stayed silent for a moment trying to think of a solution and then I remembered I was wearing my own pair of sunglasses. “Hey Crowley, what if you wear my sunglasses? It would cover your eyes and we could look at everything together.” I said taking my sunglasses off and placing them on his face. I watched as he opened his eyes behind the rainbow lenses. 

    Crowley took a moment to register that the world was now tinted in rainbow instead of the normal darkness he was used to. “This is the only time I will wear these. As soon as we leave I’m fixing my normal ones.” He said, I just smiled at how cute he looked wearing the colorful shades, paired with his signature scowl. “But thank you love, I appreciate it.” He said leaning in to leave a peak on my check.

    I returned the gesture and grabbed his hand before pulling him back into the large crowd looking at the different stands. We spent the rest of the afternoon talking to people, and buying from small businesses. When we met up with Zira he was shocked by the sight of Crowley wearing the rainbow glasses but dropped it after receiving a death glare from the demon.

    Overall it was a great day, talking to fellow members of the queer community, spending time with my favorite demons and angels, and finally seeing Crowley wearing something other than his dark glasses.

[grecoromanyaoi]

hate sending asks like this on anon but I'd just like to block and move on after this with no notifications, so you'll have to pardon that lol. Anyways. with the word "Transandrophobia" out of the question I'd like to ask why you percieve transmasc folk as this sort of ever-present ideological threat to transfems or the idea of being transgender as a whole. I am unsure what the purpose of this /is/, why you seem to act like transmisogyny is inherent to transmasculinity. I'm not interested in debate as a whole, which is why this is anon in the first place, but I'm genuinely curious as to what brought you to placing these two together. I know I know, it's not that deep and etc, but that quite literally is what you are saying when you make statements like "the transmasc community is home to 5 types of guys and they're all the worst". That is transphobia. Transphobia toward any branch or tiny little part of the community has a flat effect- it affects us all the same. Trans people are all degenerate trannies in the eyes of our ((western, tbf)) society- we all get viewed similarly, transphobes do not make the distinction between who is masc or fem or who is TME and who is TMA and the intricacies of our existences. Do you like. Actually, FULLY understand that when you make those sorts of blanket statements and claims about a part of the trans community online you inspire more of the gender-expression-policing and gender essentialism that also affects transfems? that also affects transneutral people? that IS Kalvin Garrah/Blair White rhetoric, in one of its many forms. Like, you are genuinely inspiring what you're attempting to take a stand against.

I'm saying this with no knowledge of your heart or your life or social circles, which I'm fully aware of- but truly, seriously, read more queer theory and talk to more of your local irl queer discussion.

i rly dont think its that deep. i dont think me making fun of specific archetypes of transmascs, as a trans man myself, is such a big deal. i talk abt jews like this all the time too. and yeah i tie transandrophobia truthers to transmisogyny bc more often than not they display transmisogyny in their defense of the transandrophobia label. like i tie transandrophobia truthers to being zionists w a victim complex. bc these things to together more often than not. and i dont think me thinking some archetype of guy is insufferable is something reading judith butler will solve

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for kind of getting a guy kicked our of our college’s theatre program?

i (20ftm) have been doing theatre all my life, including at my local community college where i’m an art student. i’m openly trans and don’t pass particularly well, but i have a really good voice, so i’m usually able to swing pretty good roles.

last fall i played mr. green in our production of clue: the musical. mr. green is a very masculine role. there was a guy(21M) in our ensemble, who i’ll call A, who regularly said some pretty off-color stuff to me. he made several mocking comments about how i needed to wear a prosthetic beard for my costume instead of being able to grow my own, frequently pointed out how i always have to take the high harmony, and made a joke that it was misogynistic for someone to assume i don’t like sports (context: that person was saying i don’t like sports— which is true— cause i’m a thespian and artist. A was implying that i was a woman and so it would be sexist to assume i didn’t like sports).

all of those comments combined with the usual stress of shows really damaged my mental health during our run, to the point of having a panic attack backstage halfway through act 1 one night. our costume designer overheard a couple of these incidents and saw how it affected me, and spoke to the director about it. the director later pulled me aside and asked how i thought this should be dealt with. i told her that i didn’t know what the protocol in this kind of situation was, but that she should think about how A would handle being in our next show, RENT. i said that someone who has that kind of attitude towards me just going about my business might not be mature enough to be a part of a show that deals with such heavy queer themes. she agreed with me and said he wouldn’t be invited back to audition for rent, and he hasn’t auditioned for any other shows since.

the thing is, i really don’t think A was being malicious at all in his comments. i think he thought it was light-hearted ribbing and didn’t realize he was crossing the line. i had a conversation with him after clue closed and he had been talked to by our director, and he seemed genuinely apologetic and willing to learn from his mistakes. i don’t think he meant his comments to be as hurtful as they were, he was just uneducated and apparently unexposed to trans people.

on the other hand, he was also not a good actor at all, and an even worse singer/dancer lol. A is still a film student at our college (which is very closely connected to the theatre department), so i know that he’s still involved there (mostly directing, i’m pretty sure)

tl;dr: a guy i was in a musical with made some transphobic comments to me, probably without even realizing it, and he’s since been kind of shunned out of our college’s theatre program. aita?

What are these acronyms?