#what is a research proposal
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woke up this morning and my immediate first half-asleep thought was "could i post an academic paper on ao3"
#i have this research proposal i did in uni about reading the iliad through the lens of law and justice#ik that sounds nuts but i was cooking you gotta trust me#i wanted to do it as a thesis and my prof really liked it but it was too niche and nobody could supervise me.#so i kinda wanna turn it into a video essay at some point just so i can explore it you know#but also i thought it would be pretty funny if anyone who's subscribed to me on ao3 gets a notif#and is like oh he's been posting video game yaoi all month#i wonder what--australian guide to legal citation???#anyway im not going to do this.#rookposting
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I know that logically Draxum probably got away with making the mutagen and oozequitos because he was very careful about hiding his research and whatnot, but the much funnier explanation is that he's already so weird that when he rolled up to an academic conference two months after his lab exploded the first time with his 200 page paper on how he's going to bioengineer mosquitos to be the size of his hand (without giving a single reason as to why he wants to do this), the most he was met with was maybe a few raised eyebrows and a couple people wondering how he still gets grant money
#rottmnt#rottmnt au#minor interference au#rottmnt baron draxum#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt fanfiction#it's of course much more logical that he has at least some degree of independent wealth he uses to fund his experiments#but the funnier explanatiom is that people's response to his research proposal is just#'there's no way this is gonna go well. but i wanna see how it goes investing at 200 notes'#because the idea of draxum being so so particular about his reputation and how people see him#only for his actual reputation to be 'he's batshit insane' is so funny to me#this is a man who canonically blew up his lab TWICE in thirteen years#like it is not normal scientist behavior to keep having major lab accidents like that#he tries to criticize someone else's research like 'have you consider that your methodololgy may be flawed'#'well have you considered not BLOWING UP your HOUSE'#he's a mad scientist and everyone around him is completely used to it is what im saying
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mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *
* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)
and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general
but also like.
theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)
so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.
yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.
smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.
#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!!#like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other#like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu.#mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed.#to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one#i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.'#and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway#love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety#and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress#LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane#bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all#and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different#idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf
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not to be true crime posting on main but i think i'm falling down the wm3 rabbit hole again
#xenia.txt#when i tell you this case keeps me up at night to this day#not even the murders themselves as much as the general public's reception to and opinions on the case 3 decades later like#i get why it;s always been so divisive especially after the pl docus came out (lots of opinions on those btw none of them are good#from the bottom of my heart fuck you joe berlinger and bruce sinofsky)#but it's truly baffling how no one is willing to do the research on what is arguably THE most well documented true crime case in recent#history like. everything that's ever been released to the general public is available online and i mean everything#you can find all the court files trial transcripts depositions interogation tapes aerial photos you name it it's out there for anyone with#internet connection to access at any and all hours of the day#and yet people are still foaming at the mouth fighting on reddit abt their innocence based off nothing but a couple of movies like#bffr with me right now!! almost every point the innocenters make can be easily debunked by scrolling through callahan for 15 minutes#'but they've been pushing for dna testing since their release so they can't be guilty' baby the case is closed!#it's been closed the second they took the plea. they can be striking under that courthouse and it still won't change a thing and they knowi#that's why they're pushing for it in the first place but that's just my opinion#^ and i say they but it's really only echols which makes a lot of sense to me personally#and if you want to talk abt dna testing let's talk abt the one that was done in 2011 and how the defense hurried to propose the plea as soo#as they got the results! let's talk abt those cause no one's ever seen them and i would very much like to#braga share the results the people want to know!!#makes me wonder which pieces of evidence they even submitted for that 2011 testing because if i'm remembering correctly#there was one that would've closed this case instantly and maybe that's why the results were never disclosed and the plea was rushed#but that's also just my opinion#and it's also interesting how the majority of people who have in fact deep dived into this case#(and i'm not talking abt big true crime youtubers as i'm very sceptical abt their research abilities)#all collectively lean towards guilty. much to think about#i was hoping someone would make another ~actually~ unbiased documentary for the 30th anniversary and go over all the case files#but i don't think that's even realistic at this point seeing as everyone and their mother has some sort of an opinion on this case#hbo deserves another lawsuit for this. they should've never won the first one in the first place#true crime tw
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Minor W for the solarpunk zombie story, we finally reached the front gate of the town GOD BLESS
Already shoving other OCs into the project as minor characters
Now the problem.....
I am overthinking EVERYTHING
#out of queue#ani rambles#'oh i want the town to be like abcxyz but what would Briar notice in the brief moments before he enters the quarantine bay'#'if i say too much is it gonna feel info dumpy? am i info dumpy? what if the solarpunks don't think this is solarpunk what if I'm a fraud?'#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#im also still deciding if this is something I wanna post to Tumblr eventually or to AO3 or if I wanna hoard it until I can maybe see about#getting it published as like. a book. because 'short story' my ASS i am INCAPABLE of writing short stories#we're 30 pages in bitches this is gonna be a novella AT BEST#actually lemme check the wordcount#we are at 17665 words as of me writing this post we JUST hit novella range and Briar hasn't even met Lead Researcher Wisteria yet#we haven't even ENTERED THE TOWN yet the gate JUST OPENED 2 dialogue lines ago#a novella is 17500 to 40000 words according to one site#and a novel is like 50000 to 100000 words according to another site#which means A: my main project Disillusions is WAY too long and B: yeah I think I'm writing a novel yall at this pace#well too long for new authors... if I can publish this story first and THEN propose Disillusions as an already published author......#homies I'm cooking I'm plotting im scheming#also if me rambling about my solarpunk zombie story is annoying to the homies just lmk and i'll move it to my quiet writeblr blog#ani's solarpunk zombie story
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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Here is a badly drawn comic of my terrible, awkward group project experience from yesterday. I thought it was very absurd so I wanted to share it other people lol :)
Let me know, how do you find their conduct 😭
#i tried to small talk#and they werent rly listening and were like i just wanna get this done w so i can eat#yet talked to me abt smth random after#but the moving the laptop is what made me draw this 😭#like is that not absurd????#i dont wanna rewatch the video#but i wanna see what the camera frame looked like#bcs from what i saw my drawing is p accurate#but yeah they also talked for the majority of the time#even tho i did more research bcs they took up most of the slides#AND ALSO TOOK MY IDEAS#im like uhhhh im p sure [insert slide topic] is required!!!#and i went to go start writing it#and theyre like oh okay ill do that slide#and even tho i kept reminding them of the slide requirement#they kept being like ugh i cant think of anything#and then would take my ideas when i proposed them#like the conclusion part was to write a proposal abt what solution can be made for the current event topic#AND i took notes the night before and wrote down the idea for the solution#and i told them and theyre like oh yeah thats okay and started writing those slides#i know i should be more assertive but im so conflict avoidant and was kinda like oh. okay. ah.#lmao i hope this doesnt make me come off as someone victimizing themselves#im just annoyed 😭😭#and also this person was on my abroad trip and we all hated them#but i felt bad abt how much we hated them and theyre(I THOUGHT) much more chill in a classroom setting#so i kinda softened my hate for them and theyre the only person i know in my class rly#so im like ahhhh we should work together!#and now i remember why i dislike them 😭😭#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.
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just spent nine hours straight with four five minute food and bathroom breaks looking for datasets and manipulating them in R out of pure spite. beginning to think the only adhd medication i need is sleep deprivation and a healthy dose of deep disdain
#anyways. got fucked over by my research project partner#didn't technically have to find new data but i didn't really get a say in what he picked#so. nine hours finding new data. + putting together a deeply shitty research proposal#willow's life#adhd
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kids these days might not appreciate dil to pagal hai but i love how writers and directors always drop a naam to suna hoga in his movies. and then there's swades not appreciated back then but now we have more mohan bhargavs and kaveri ammas
#guess who's nearing the deadline for the research proposal submission#and who has no idea what topic to choose#but is still thinking about jawan#hehe#am i fucked#but yayyyy for shahrukh#swades#dil to pagal hai#bollywood#SRK crisis hours#shah rukh khan
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Have been listening to 『なんか IWAKAN!』, which is a Japanese gender studies/queer podcast recently, both with an eye on a course I'm designing for next semester and as some chill listening practice for me, so this morning at 8:30 am I was jumpscared by them suddenly starting to talk about クワロマンティック (quoiromantic).
It's interesting listening, for anyone who happens to speak Japanese. One of the really striking things about it for me was how little they seemed to associate quoiromantic with ace or aro communities. Part of that is probably demographic--of the four people on this episode, one said they were probably ace and the other three are not--but it does mean that the conversation goes in different directions than a lot of the wtfromantic/quoiromantic conversations I have seen in Anglophone communities. For example, they spend a lot of time talking about how quoiromantic is helpful because many of them never thought about the difference between romantic and sexual orientation--but quoiromantic in Anglophone communities is often a pushback against romantic orientation. (Also, a lot of the examples that the regular presenters bring up would, in Anglophone ace communities, often tend to be classed as mismatched romantic and sexual orientations, e.g. a gay man having strong non-sexual attraction to a female friend or a straight woman having strong non-sexual attraction to a female friend.) There's also discussion of polyamory and alternative family/relationship structures, romantic friendship, the assumption that two people who have the possibility of being attracted to each other will always wind up dating, and S関係 (S relationships). It is really interesting to see a lot of conversations that I've seen primarily in ace communities being picked up and lauded as useful by larger queer spaces...but (at least in this case) being sort of divorced from a lot of their history and context. But, then again, it's a 40-minute podcast that's a supplement to a special issue of their magazine and an in-person event they were running, so they probably couldn't cover all possible topics. (Also I personally know most of the coiners and popularizers of wtfromantic/quoiromantic, so I may have...more knowledge...than is normal...)
(Also very charming when the guest speaker is like, "oh, can I swear on this show, do you have to bleep it out" and then upon getting confirmation that swearing is okay, going, "WHAT THE FUCK ロマンティック.")
#a post??? from Queenie???? in the year 2023??? what miracle is this#I don't remember what any of my tags are on this blog#asexuality in Japan#was that a tag???? I don't know.#quoiromantic#wtfromantic#anyway I have to go finish a book review and also check a proposal utilizing my research so. back to my slumbers
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I'm not a Shou Tucker apologist in any way shape or form but I kind of understand his situation in the sense that I imagine many research-based (read: not useful in war) State Alchemists found themselves poor and disillusioned:
Oh, so I need to preform a miracle of fringe science every two years, but Mustang and Edward just get to saunter up to Central HQ, prove they can still snap their fingers and clap their hands to do massive amounts of collateral damage, and they get their funding renewed no problem?
#crystal convos#fma#imagine spending months writing up your grant renewal proposal and you get shafted in favor of the 12 year old with a knife arm#it's just like when i was in grad school fr fr#thoughts and prayers to the state alchemist who just wants to research like... harnessing wind energy#i'm imagining an exhausted researcher being so bitter towards all the weapon-based state alchemists#“iron blood alchemist? Yeah? Well guess what: we ALL have iron in our blood. IDIOT.”
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officially 1/9th of a way through the first draft of my final paper for environmental science!
#planning to get through 1/3 a week#so i’ll present my draft on the 11th of next month#then have 3 weeks to refine then turn in!#this is a bigger project because it’s an independent literary research paper that i made a thesis for and proposed to my professor#as an honor’s project and as a replacement for the original final paper#which will give me honors credit for this course#and what i’m really after which is experience doing an independent literary review at an academic level#so far it’s looking to be about a paragraph per page#so i might need to add or do something a little different to meet page requirements#but we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it
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it's weird encountering irl people who use AI to write their resumes, cv's, cover letters, personal statements, etc. and them being so unashamed and even proud about it. i know that not everyone is a skilled writer, but these professional documents are literally supposed to be a reflection of the kind of PROFESSIONAL prestige and capability you have and can do. it's not even inherently the argument that AI is always going to write better than an actual person, because that's just not true, but that the AI is probably a better writer than the person who used the AI and that's how they're advertising themselves. it's just annoying and aggravating, especially when the competition for graduate school and jobs and interviews is so damn hard. i don't want to be competing against people who SHOULDN'T be here and only are because of AI. it's unfair and truly diminishes the hard work that actually needs to go into professional development
#all those jokes that are like 'my gen z doctor looking up what cancer is on their phone'#im actually a little scared about how true thats going to become in the professional world#i know it cant happen for doctors bc they have a verbal and practical test before getting their MD#but in the academic world? in the research world? where people can just input the data and have AI write their proposal for them?#idk its scary and insulting#academia
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the answer to being stressed and depressed is asking for help. the answer to being stressed and depressed is asking for help. the answer to being stressed and depressed is asking for help. the answer to being stressed and depressed is asking for help. the answer to being stressed and depressed is asking for help.
#repeating this in my brain as many times as it takes to stick#if I dont know what I am doing in grad school the only way to find out is to ask!!!!!!!!!!#if I don't know how to come up with a research question the only way to learn is to ask yet another person to explain it to me!!!!!!!#if my advisor isn't doing shit to help me I will just have to learn from other people#no I don't have a thesis question yet. but I have to make a research proposal for community ecology#and that is basically the first step of a thesis#so if I learn how to do this for this class from this professor I can apply that knowledge to my thesis#it just means I have to actually ASK MY PROFESSOR FOR HELP#I did send him an email asking for advice and now we have a meeting at 9am tomorrow#hopefully I can finally figure out how the fuck this works#if I can't...... not joking grad school may not be for me#cause that is literally like the point of grad school#learning how to do research#and I am failing step one
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The goat simulator fortnite skin frightens me
They did something strange to her
#i was trying to research what the goat's ryu number is#and i accidentally only found out about the fortnite after i already told ryunumber my proposed route#but the lucky thing is the fortnite was probably only limited time. The route i found has more permanence#and also doesnt deal with the ambiguity of ''can this entirely physically different creature be considered the same beast''#the fortnite skin is only called ''a goat'' rather than pilgor#and there are other goats in the goat simulator extended canon that look identical (payday 2 level) so the name is an important distinction#but my route covered most of these bases i think...?#maybe you will see it.#unless there's another shorter route and i'm fail.#mypost
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Love having the specific kind of social anxiety that makes me embarrassed to talk about anything I have an interest in ever why am I like This and also what in the Trauma Department
#it's a lifelong thing for me too bc like#I remember being about 4 and my dad commissioning one of those amusement park artists to draw a portrait of me as a character#and I was literally too embarrassed to say what character I would want to be#but now as an adult proposing potential research topics for myself#I have to fight my own anxiety to say what I'm interested in or will say 'it' a lot so I don't have to specify#it really makes communication and writing things Great(tm)#tracking tag#rambling
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