#what in the world would we even call this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
dilf-docs · 2 days ago
Text
To The Devil I Know
dbf!joel miller x younger!reader
Tumblr media
summary: your infamous girl's trip with your best friend sarah gets crashed by his overprotective dad. but what is the perfect way to leash all your anger out?
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving), brat taming, it's pussy spanking time again bc i do in fact like it a lot, praise/daddy kink sprinkled somewhere, reader calls him mr. miller A LOT, exhibition kink (v nasty), degradation kink (he calls her little slut), pantie sniffing (joel's kind of a perv, ay), dirty talk (they have a sentence awaiting in horny jail), y/n grinds on joel's nose bc yeah i too want that, this is contradicting but lwk sub!joel bc that man's touch starved as HELL, may do a part two idk pls give it love, dad!bod joel bc i say so (yummy), no angst (wtf dilf-docs? the angst gods are so pissed off rn)
word count: 7,195 words
side note: this request got me HOOKED the moment i opened it and since i'm currently on a pedro hyperfixiation rn, we need to put the mental illness to good use. also, this is lwk based on the song by suki waterhouse devil i know! :) i'm seeing that i have two joel fics with devil in the title btw something something abt nickels and not being a lot but weird it happened twice also WE HIT 300 FOLLOWERS??? (and its 1am and i have to wake up at 4am is anyone surprised atp...)
Tumblr media
"Sarah!" you shout, "get your ass out here you looser!"
It's probably eight in the morning, and here you are, honking and shouting in the middle of the quiet calm suburbs.
When you spot her curly head running towards you in a rush, you know she's pissed.
"Stop screaming!" she shouts back, "my neighbours will hate me"
You've known Sarah since you were kids. When you first moved to Texas, she was the only one who spoke to you in school. You grew up with her among white picket fences and scrapped knees, mantaining the friendship even as you moved away, until your return for college.
"Why would I even care? I don't live here!" you joke from the driver's seat, hopping off and giving her a hug. "I'm sorry but I can't help it. I'm just so excited for this trip, we've been planning it for ages!"
You keep talking excitedly about your plans, not noticing how her face falls.
"Yeah, about that..."
"You girls ready?" a third voice enters the picture, definitely not belonging to a girl.
"Uh, Sarah" you breath in, "Why the fuck is your dad here?"
In all his glory: Joel Miller, a guy you haven't seen in forever, too busy living in the dorms, girl dates with Sarah often out of her house. You wanted to explore the world: you weren't ten anymore, and the suburbs lost all of it's appeal they had when you were the age of Barbies and drawing on chalk.
"Listen, y/n. I tried, I really tried. But as soon as I opened my mouth, he started to pack his bags"
"Isn't your dad always busy at work?" you inquire, another one of the reasons Joel's face isn't a fresh memory in your head.
"That's part of the problem. He took all of the pending vacations he had at once" she sighs, sounding as dissapointed as you are. "I understand if you don't want to go"
"Are you being serious right now?" you chuckle dryly. "No, absolutely not. I saved for this trip, packed my favorite outfits and aced all my classes so my parents would allow me. Nothing is going to ruin this for me: not you, not your dad. So we'll go and we'll have all the fun we planned, yeah?" you express firmly, holding her hands. "We will have our girl summer, no matter what. Even if we have to ignore the elephant in the room..."
"Did you just call me fat?"
You turn around, and there he is: the uninvited. Joel Miller's aged face stands before you, strong arms flexing under the pressure of a couple of suitcases.
"No" you reply back, "just a nuissance"
He chuckles at your response, amused. "If you thought I'd let my babygirl go alone with you to the beach and get shit-faced drunk, you're not as smart as I remember, y/n"
Your name would always be on his tongue to call you out. Y/n, don't do that. Y/n apologize to the neighbours. Y/n, slow down. Y/n, don't be so stubborn. You were always a troublemaker, and his lips would only know how to pronounce your name if to berate you. But now, as his mouth says your name with a newly learned tone, dripping with dare and amusement, you can't help but feel a fire ignite that burns your skin.
"Dad!" Sarah calls out, taking you out of your thoughts. She flushes in embarrasment, and you scoff at the idea of giving too much of your time to think about Mr. Miller of all people. "I'm not ten anymore, we'll be just fine"
"You're barely of legal age!" he counters back. "What if somethin' was to happen to you, huh? I'd never forgive myself"
You get annoyed at his over-the-top reactions. What did he think you were gonna do? The wildest thing you had in mind was getting drunk while sitting in the sand. Not even in the water! You may be a wild spirit, but stupid you're not.
"Look, Mr. Miller" he cocks his head to the side, daringly so, almost as if waiting for you to try. "I don't know what you're thinking, but this isn't Driveway Dolls" he looks at you confused, so you try again, "Or Thelma and Louise, whatever suits your fucking old ass. Alright? This is a girls trip, heard that? Just two bestfriends enjoying their youth and summer without boys around to ruin it for them"
"Boys?" he laughs. "Too bad, then, 'cause sweetheart, I'm a man"
Your breath hitches, but you're not going to let him win; you always need to have the last word.
"Well, man up and let your daughter be free for once!"
Sarah covers her face with her palms, clearly knowing her dad more. This is a lost battle.
"Stop, y/n. Please. Dad's impossible to bend"
"He's ruining our trip!" you protest, feeling like a child throwing a tantrum.
"Take it or leave it" he leans against his truck, crossing his arms. Your eyes dart to the strained fabric of his sleeves, and when he chuckles, you don't know if he noticed or it's because of his imminent victory.
"Fine!" you throw your hands in the air, dramatically so. "Welcome on board, intruder"
Joel Miller smiles, and maybe it's the rare sight, not even common back in the day, that makes your heart skip a beat.
"And we're taking my truck"
"Are you being serious right now?!" Was this man going to take away all your freedom?
He laughs, mockingly. Rage bubbles in your chest, along something darker you aren't going to admit just yet.
"There is no way my daughter is going on a fucking hatchback to the beach"
Tumblr media
You try to distract yourself talking to Sarah in the backseat, but her dad's prying glances time to time from the rear view mirror have you shifting uncomfortably on your seat.
He's persistent, always has been. Joel Miller, just as Sarah said, wasn't a man who could be bent. You'd remember thinking he was a sort of superhero: unbreakable. Whenever Sarah needed help, a pair of strong arms would be there, ready to take the weight off of her shoulders. He was now older, as you have noticed: grey and wrinkles sprayed all over his face. And now, the worst part of it all:
Age had made him infuriatingly attractive.
Unfair, you think, that a man so bitter that only seemed to worry and nag, was blessed with the rare quality of aging like wine. You can deny it anymore: whatever Joel Miller has now that he didn't before is working on you like a lovesick spell.
You look again to the front, just in time to catch one of his subtle (not really) stares. You keep the eye contact, only he tears away his gaze first, something akin to regret and fear circling on his warm brown orbs. The fire from before cracks inside of your belly, and the anticipation begins.
If he was going to ruin your trip, you might as well return the favor.
"M' gonna stop for gas" he says after some minutes of silence, deviating towards a gas station.
You take the opportunity to get out of the truck to strech your legs. Sarah does so too, but then whispers into your ear:
"Tell my dad I need to go to the bathroom. Don't want him worrying"
As if you'll talk to him. Despite that, you nod and she leaves you alone with her annoying dad.
"Reckless too, huh?" Joel appears by your side, almost making you drop your phone. "You know you're not s'pposed to use the damn phone on a gas station? Good thing I ain't let my daughter go alone with you"
You put your phone down. "Reckless? I know what I'm doing" but you sound nervous, for some reason.
"You haven't changed at all, have you?" Joel says, his voice surprisingly soft.
You heart gets stuck in your throat at the sudden shift, "I suppose not"
"I get that you hate me" he confesses, done filling the tank, "but I couldn't let the two of you go alone"
Your cheeks turn pink at the accusation, "I don't hate you"
He laughs, and the sound has something stirring in the lower of your belly. Why is Joel Miller of all people provoking feelings in you no other boy has ever provoked? You're used to playing with boys as you please, and you come to realize that's where the difference lies: you don't know how to handle a man.
A man so strong, your eyes don't leave him as his arms flex while pumping the gas, the delicious peek his simple white shirt gives you not going unnoticed; droplets of sweat on his temple, sliding down his jawline then getting lost down the crook of his neck. You lick your lips on instinct, horrified when you realize what you've just thought and done.
"Damn right you don't"
You could say you've reached some kind of truce, but then Sarah comes back, and when you look at Joel again, he's reverted to that annoying apathic state of his, but instead of bothering you, it only makes you want more.
"Hey" he says to Sarah, "where you went?"
"I had to pee, dad. Relax" she dismisses, shooting at you a can-you-believe-it look.
He walks away, ready to jump in the driver's seat again, when he turns around to whisper to Sarah:
"Don't ever leave me again" tone stern, "not with her"
But you hear.
Tumblr media
You arrived late, the sun hiding behind the large body of water that seemed infinite.
"I can't believe we missed the first sunset!" you whine. "It was going to look so good on my Instagram stories..."
"This generation and their problems" Joel scoffs, taking the suitcases to the house you've rented for the next two days.
The answer is right at the tip of your tongue, but you decide to be the bigger person and remain quiet. If he wants to play, you better play smart.
"Dad, please" Sarah calls him out, and you have to hide a laugh. "Don't fight with y/n"
"I ain't doing shit" he sneers, crossing his bulking arms.
Sarah walks past him, muttering against his childishness. That angers Joel, who tries to remain cool.
"I know you hate me" you suddenly appear by his side. Your vainilla scent gets up on his nose, invading his body of you. "I just think you should try, for Sarah"
"I don't hate you" he answers, and now it's your turn to laugh.
"Yeah? Doesn't seem like it, Mr. Miller" it comes out before you can stop it, and there's something dark lurking behind his brown eyes piercing through you.
"I don't" sounding more sure this time. Serious too.
"You'll have to prove that"
You enjoy the surprise on his face and the light pink sprinkled across his cheeks.
"Prove that?"
You nod, finding all of this suddenly funny.
"Hmh, you heard me. Prove it, Mr. Miller. That you don't hate me"
But before he can respond, your bestfriend is back.
"Y/n, come on! You need to check the house. It has a shared balcony!" Sarah beams giddy.
You let her excitement infect you, taking her hand as you go inside the house. Joel stays back, your words ringing on his ears.
On the other hand, Sarah and you check the room together.
"Look this" she points at one of the mirrors in the room: it has details that remind you of the sea. "Isn't it cute?"
"It is" you agree, "we should take a picture"
"Okay. But use your phone" she says, "mine died on the road"
You're about to pull it out when you feel your pockets empty.
"It's... not here"
"You might have left it in the car" she tries to help.
"Yeah" you try to remain level-headed, "I'll go search for it"
You return to the truck, pressing your head against the window. Just like your friend guessed, it's there, abandoned on the seat.
"Lost somethin'?"
You gasp, turning around. Joel Miller's face is centimeters away from yours, breathing heavily as his body cages your smaller frame against the truck's doors.
"My phone" you find your voice after what feels like eternity, "it's inside the car"
"Need help with that?" his voice sounds low, whisper easily to be confused with a growl.
You don't know how to answer, scared for the first time of where your mouth could take you. So your solution is to nod, and step aside for him to open the car.
"There you go" he's dropping it in your hands, fingers lightly brushing yours. There's a shiver down your spine despite the cool weather, and you know damn well it's all his fault. He may feel it too, by the way he takes a step back, putting some distance.
"Need anything else?" but it feels like a slap to the face, as if he's challenging you to speak what you've been thinking but are too coward to do when he stands before you.
"No" you mentally slap yourself for how pathetic you sound, "this is all I needed, Mr. Miller. Thanks"
You look back one last time, despite it all. And there it is: that same look he gave you in the car.
"Anytime" but it falls deaf to your ears, as you basically ran away from him.
Him and his imposing presence, enough to make your legs tremble and your mind to stop working. Him and his smell, that brings you back to simpler times and reminds you of a a secret place in the woods, musk getting under your skin. Him and his breath, hitching when you touch hands. Him and his beating heart, just as loud as yours.
"Took you long" Sarah comments when you return, "I was already falling asleep"
She doesn't know or suspect, you tell yourself, but that doesn't stop you from feeling sick.
That night, as Sarah lays by your side and you try to sleep, all you can think about is his big hands, the lingering feeling of a warm touch. And then Joel, stepping back―coming to his senses, as if something is holding him back.
Anytime.
You can't help but wonder what stopped him.
Tumblr media
Days have blurred between drinks by the poolside, waves crashing, wet sand in your fingers and sun carressing skin.
Despite what happened, Joel remains in the shadows, letting you and Sarah enjoy your trip in peace. You may be spending time with your bestfriend, but his presence hangs in the air, impregnated with his strong pine and whisky smell, looming over you like a shadow; suffocating, like his scent is all you can breath. You hate how your mind keeps going back to him, because despite your inicial claims to ruin him, that wasn't the purpose of this vacation, yet Joel seems to have infected you with a need that corners your mind to think of him and him only. The greed you feel is unnatural, like a spell has been cast upon you. He may be far, just as you wanted, and you should enjoy that, but it's that very same distance that is driving you insane.
Today, you and Sarah decided to go diving and then play volleyball.
The day ends, the sun sets, and so does the tiredness. But as Sarah's snores fill your ears, you toss around the bed, trying to conceal sleep to no avail.
Staring at the ceiling, you kept drifting back to Joel, mind wondering and heart racing at thoughts of strong arms caging you, warmth in your body that the breeze creeping through flowing curtains fails to provide.
The sound of wood creaking jolts you awake. His silhoutte is hard to miss, and your eyes follow it cross your bedroom. You pretend to be asleep, his scent up your nose as he walks in careful measured steps, trying not to wake you up. He looks back at Sarah, and the moonlight betrays him when it shines over his eyes, revealing an adoration that gnaws your chest.
He keeps walking, until he reaches the shared balcony. It's then that you make a choice, heart pounding in your chest as you race yourself from bed, going his way.
You go outside, finding him resting his arms on the balcony, facing the beach in silence. Soft waves crash against the wet sand, but not even that can overpower the sound of your beating heart.
"What're you doin' here?" he's asking, even if you haven't moved from your spot. Seems like your friend wasn't joking about his heightened senses, despite his old age. "Thought y'were 'sleep"
"Well, Sarah is a fast sleeper" you answer, walking to his side.
"She sure is" and the faintest of a smile appears on his face.
Joel Miller is a mystery to you: the most closed off man you've ever met, hiding behind his apparent apathy that only seems to be gone whenever Sarah is around. She's the apple of his eye, and those soft traces of a more tamed character that come to light have truly picked your interest, begging for more crumbs that will help you puzzle who he really is: he, that is as handsome as a mystery. The worst is, you don't know what attracts you more.
But you won't let him win.
"Mr. Miller?"
"Yeah?"
"Were you married?"
He looks at you, dark eyes partly iluminated by the moonlight.
"Aren't you a bit too young to be bold?"
"And aren't you too hot to be all alone?" you reply in an instant, rendering him speechless.
He chuckles, but it sounds defeated rather than amused.
"Trust me, kid" he's back at facing the ocean. Goddamn coward. "This isn't what you want"
"Don't call me kid" you berate, almost repulsed at it. "I'm twenty one"
He scoffs. "Still hella young"
"But I know what I want" a wavering hand ready to trace over his pecs, but he's stopped you before it descends. Before it's too late.
"You don't" he assures, grip on your hand stronger, without knowing how much you're enjoying this. Or maybe he does. "See? That's the problem with you kids: you think you do, but you don't"
You loose your patience.
"Tell me then, Mr. Miller. Would a kid do this?"
Taking the distraction, the same hand flies now to grop his dick, and to your surprise, it's already hard.
"Seems I'm not the only one who doesn't know what they want"
"Stop" he warns, hissing when your eager fingers unbuckle his belt. It's huge, for some reason, and you can't help but feel an ardent throb at the thought of grinding on it.
When your eyes look at Joel, he swears he sees you devilishly smirk, almost as if you were mocking him.
"Stop?" you bite your lip, feigning innocence as doe eyes look where dark ones had done before. "If that's what you want, you aren't even trying"
You kneel down, and the position gives you the perfect side of his adam's apple bobbing in a nervous gulp. He grows insecure under your intense stare, breath hitching when the wind hits his now free member as you pull down his underwear, revealing it hard and leaking with precum. You laugh delighted, with victory, and he finds himself trapped between the moon and your games, drowning on a sea feet away.
"I think I know what you want"
"How? You don't even know what you want" barely fighting it.
Your fingers grace over his soft abdomen, tracing down his belly and happy trail. Your teeth nip at the skin scattered with soft rosy lines, peppering the skin with fluttering kisses to entertain your mouth until your digits touch his hard cock. Joel whines, squirming, and you're delighted with the receptiveness, needy sounds escaping his lips.
You haven't even started yet.
"You're right, I don't" you agree. "All I know is you piss me off and that you ruined our trip, so I'm gonna take my anger out on you one way... or another"
You take your first lick, savouring the dark red head. His hips buck, a shaky gasp robbed from his chapped lips.
"Fuck" he exhales weakly, lost against the sound of water.
"Don't worry, Mr. Miller. I'll take good care of you" admiring his girth. He looks down on you, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Joel can't lie and say he isn't fascinated with the way you look at him, not believing so much appetite can fit in such a small young body. Not even his partners before you, had looked at him like he was the best thing in the world, and now here you were: the loud-mouthed brat best friend of his daughter, sucking his cock while Sarah slept just a few meters away. Just yersteday he was bickering with you, not standing your spoiled attituted and juvenile spirit that can't be tamed and won't shut up. Hell, you had even disrespected him. But here he is, not being able to find the words or actions to stop you: because he doesn't want to.
It was all so fucked up.
But then you're closing your lips around his swollen head, and he knows there's no point in fighting it anymore, his whole body urging him to give in.
"Oh, fuck" he pants, getting all worked up as you take him deeper. "Keep goin'. You're doin' a great job, sweetheart"
The praise gets to you, even if not needed.
Your tongue swirls, running the muscle with wet slides, up and down, tip to base, some pressure applied. You proceed to take in his balls, feeling him tense up. You wanted to mock him badly, but your mouth was full of his dick, so that wasn’t happening.
"D-don't stop" he pleads, sounding more like a whine.
He's deep enough that it hits your throat. You've never been this greedy, but also, have never tried with a dick so big. You feel him in the roof of your mouth, your lips at the base of the tip, brushing against skin. Joel can't keep up: breath hitching, moans ragged and consumed, barely standing if it wasn't for your hands digging in his thighs for support.
You keep building pace, seeing Joel's face scrunch up.
"M' close" his voice comes out strained, his head tilting back, wild soft locks from before now plastered against his forehead, dripping with sweat. His muscles tense, you can feel it, and it's just about time before he's coming inside your mouth.
You want it. To taste more of him, who you claim to hate but feels oh so good. Strong, just as his presence.
"So good, fuck, you're so good" in a tone so needy and desperate. It falls out of his lips, followed by more unintelligible praises dripping from his tongue.
And then, in a shaky breath, lost to the wind:
"Y/n"
You gasp, and he feels it, the air ticklish on his sensitive skin.
Joel said your name.
Your name, in a way it had never been said before. Uttered like a prayer, submerged in devotion. Your name, melting into his moans, deep within him, the calling full of a primal desire. The experience is intoxicating, making you crave more.
Joel comes with a groan, head falling back. Your name dies on his lips as his hips thrust up with your lips closing in. Thick spurts of cum mix with saliva in the back of your throat. You pull out, a string of saliva still connecting you to his dick. He looks down on you, body shaking as much as yours. Without breaking eye contact, he wipes some of the mess drooling from your lips, his calloused thumbs carresing you with a softness you didn't think was possible. The contrast makes you falter a bit, and you know Joel notices.
"There you go" your voice comes out hoarse, avoiding his eyes, "now you know what you want"
He chuckles, giving you a hand to stand up. As you raise to your feet, his face is barely inches away from yours. You can see the lines time has marked across his face, the grays coloring hair you remember to be brown, and those eyes―piercing through you like they know you better than you know yourself.
"But do you?"
Tumblr media
Joel Miller doesn't know what is regret.
He didn't feel it when Sarah arrived unexpectedly at the ripe age of twenty, forcing him out of college. He didn't feel it when Sarah's mother left him alone to raise his daughter all by himself, aware he had tried it all to make it work. He surely didn't feel it when you came back after leaving Texas, long gone the childlike wonder and features that made him see you as an extension of his daughter, his gaze lingering a bit too long on this familiar face in a beautiful blooming new body.
But this is different, and he isn't sure if, for the first time, he's finally known what is regret.
Joel Miller also doesn't know when to back out of a fight.
He remember his brother Tommy, practically begging to let go of some asshole that dared to pick up on him, knuckles bloody no matter if he was young then and old as stubborn now, the same red painted across his willfull hands.
But now those hands prickle and sweat, no matter how much he runs them over the fabric of his jeans. And now, as your dangerous stare pierces through him across the small table, Sarah oblivious to the game as she quietly munchs her cereal, Joel Miller backs down, his gaze the first to look away.
He realizes just now why he was so afraid to look up to the sky after you left. The same stars that stared back from the high of the dark night are akin to the ones dancing in your eyes.
"Mr. Miller" your voice breaks his train of thoughts.
"Where's Sarah?" he asks in a panicked voice, realizing you've been left alone.
"Brushing her teeth" you answer, slightly taken back by his tone. "We were going out today, remember?"
Ah, yes. A little tour to an island not to far away from there.
"M' not goin'. Sorry, kid" he's decided. Before you can speak, Sarah returns and asks the question herself.
"M' tired. That's all" but it sounds rather an excuse.
"Are you sure, dad?" Sarah presses, not sure why he had changed his mind at the last minute.
"Yeah" he insists, all while avoiding those eyes of yours, unsatisfied and searching for answers of questions qithout a voice. "You girls go and have fun"
So you do.
You go and feel like you're inside of Mamma Mia (your favorite movie; both of you learned ABBA's discography thanks to it, something that offended your parents), the sun reflecting in the water, the little island with its green and sun, and the flowers that dust their petals into the shore where your boat arrives.
But when the trip is over and soft waves rock your return, you think of Joel.
You think you should feel at least a little ashamed of becoming so obssesed with a man in barely two days, who, on top of it all, is your bestfriend's dad. But then you remember the taste of him inside your mouth, how his dick had rasped against your throat, his seed warm in the tip of your tongue. And then his eyes, promises meant to be broken locked away behind tides of fear, that do an excellent job of reminding you how easy is to drown; to fall for how in hazel flickers, Joel seems he'd give you the world.
"Let's get drunk" you deadpan once you're back at the shore.
Sarah laughs at your determination, then realizes you're serious.
"What?"
"Yeah, it's our last day here" you reason. "Besides, your dad isn't here. What's he going to say?"
If you sound between angry and dissapointed at his absence, Sarah remains quiet.
"We're running away" she tries one last time, but by the look in your eyes, you've made your choice.
"Are we? We're twenty-one, Sarah. We can do whatever the fuck we want" you feel rebellious all of a sudden, "what? Don't you wanna give this trip a grand finale?"
So you crash into the nearest bar and waste the night away, drinking and dancing. But you're ordering a drink you don't like, and in every glass of whiskey down your throat, his name hangs in the air like the memory of his smell, locked behind a vault as if it's too sacred to say. But when Sarah gets a boy to dance and lends his friend to you, you wish there was rough where soft meets your skin, and chapped when you kiss his lips. Your body burns ablaze with sweat, alcohol and regret, a dangerous combination that makes you pull Sarah out of the bar when you feel you're about to black out. She complains, but you're set on making it to the bed before your eyelids shut.
Maybe it's because you always had what you wanted, or maybe it was the forbidden, but whatever reason had pushed you in Joel's orbit, refused to let you go.
And maybe you're imagining his voice, scolding you like a kid. Maybe you're seven again, and in the shadows of the bed, you've gone back to your childhood days. Y/n, y/n, y/n. That sick berating tone of his, acting like you're stupid and small.
"Fucking brat" he spats, drops of his angry scowl landing on your cheek. You then realize he's hovering over you, and it's real, not a product of your foggy mind. So you stand up, sobering up a bit, when he charges back again. "Makin' my daughter pass out? What the fuck were you thinkin'? Could've ended in the middle of the street. You're s'pposed to go to the damn island and then come back!"
Your mouth tastes like sand, but even if you've passed out a couple hours ago, the fire doesn't die. So your tongue is back, finding it's voice to say:
"Well, if you hadn't left us alone, this wouldn't have happened"
He chuckles, darkly. Humorless. "I see"
"What?" you challenge, a shiver down your spine that looses itself somewhere else.
"You got my daughter drunk as revenge"
You're mortified at the accusation, the remnants of alcohol now long gone of your system.
"Do you think I'd risk me and my friends' safety for you? Out of all people, you?" not caring if you sound bitter.
The truth sticks to your skin as uncomfortably as the sweat.
"I dunno, sweetheart. That's why I'm asking you" the pet name rolls effortlessly, in a rough voice that creates a wet spot in your panties. He gets closer, and you can see the tremble of his lips as he lets out a shaky breath. "Be a good girl and answer"
"I won't tell you shit" you spit.
"You little mix, thinkin' you can run your tongue like it ain't been 'round my cock before" you look like a deer caught in headlights, and Joel's enjoying this more than he should. "That's right, what'd Sarah think knowing her friend's a little slut for'er daddy's cock?"
The electric current that crosses your body sparks the fire of the woods hiding behind his auburn storms.
Now you're feeling high on a forest fire. You want the flames to engulf you, even if ashes is all there'll be left.
"Tell me you want this" his forehead clashes against yours, and the whole world falls silent, except for your ringing ears.
"I want this" and he's just as surprised as you are by the unwavering conviction. "I need you, Mr. Miller"
You try to get up, but he pushes you with full force back into your bed. Then, the base creaks, and he's on top of you, his weight pressing you against the mattress.
"What are you-"
"You think I'd let you get away easily? Have things your way? Naive lil' girl" he tuts, "I'll punish you for that"
As on cue, drowned out snores are heard from your side.
"But, Sarah-" you try to protest, his body caging you under his mercy.
"That'll mean you're behavin', right?" he runs his thumb across your lips, gently pulling them down, as if the chase was thrilling as eating the prey. "I know you don't want to wake her up and see her slut of a friend bangin' her daddy"
You tense, remaining silent at the threat, even if your body reacts other ways.
"Good girl"
He’s quick to get rid you of your shorts.
"Fuckin' hell" he murmurs against your neck, the clothing discarded somewhere in the room. "Wearin' this little shitty bottoms to rail me up, knowin' damn well when to bent and get me hard. Been thinkin' of takin' them off ever since you wore 'em first"
The confession makes you whine, and Joel's delighted by the sound, and just how putty you are under his big rough hands.
"Let's see what we got here" his large hands caress your thighs as he settles between your legs. "Black lace, baby? Such a fuckin' tease. Wore 'em for me?"
You shake your head, but his calloused digits dig on the plush skin of your thighs, making you wince at the pain.
"Don't lie to me, sweetheart. You'd said you'll be a good girl, yeah?" you nod, soaking wet, painfully so.
"Yes, I'll be"
"Show me your manners, then" he presses light kisses on the insides of your thighs, close to where you need his graying beard to tickle, "and I'll show you mine"
"Just eat me, Joel" you demand breathlessly. "Fuck. Need you, Mr. Miller, so bad"
"And why should I reward you, impatient little slut? Eager to get daddy's filthy mouth between that pretty pussy" Joel bites the inside of your thigh, and it takes all of your strength to avoid becoming a moaning mess. "You've been bad, sweetheart. A brat"
You deny it, but his head dissappears between your legs, licking the wet spot on your panties. You squirm under the teasing of his tongue, legs shutting close on instinct. You drown a whimper in your palm as he yanks your panties away.
"Don't do anything I ain't tell you to" demanding, and if you weren't this horny and out of your mind, you'd probably be scared. "There'll be consequences"
You try to obey. But then his nose, that big nose you want covered in your slick as you grind off of it between your legs, sniffs your panties. He gives it one big sniff, and then two, fingers going white as he holds the piece of fabric with too much force, shoving it on his face.
"Ye'r too fuckin' sweet, I'll give you that" he mumbles in a drunken haze. "Need to taste that drippin' cunt of yours 'night"
The bed creaks again, or maybe it's the sound of his bones starting to give in to old age, but Joel is sucking your clit, tongue pushed inside of your puffy folds. You hide a moan against his lips, hands traveling to grip his hair.
"Joel" you breathe out. 
He parts your folds easily, and before you know it, a rugged finger circles your entrance. Your back arches, and then he leaves place for his mouth again, flicking your sensitive core with his tongue. A moan a little too loud escapes your lips, making his eyes darken when the bed next to you shifts, Sarah tossing in her sleep.
"You dumb fuckin' brat. What'd I say?" his hand slams against your pussy, a sting you've never felt before, both showered in pain and pleasure, spreading across your cunt. "Don't disobey me. Apologize, now"
He stops his minstrations, and you're so achingly close to your orgasm, that the answer falls easy and rushed from your lips.
"Sorry, Mr. Miller"
"Good girl" Joel praises as he pushes his finger in, next to his tongue on your clit.
But the orgasm is so deliciously close, and you can't wait for more. So now you're grinding in his face by reflex, rubbing against his big nose just like you'd imagined. You whine at the sensation, and Joel rests his tongue flat on your clit with surprise.
"Who gave you permission to do that?" but his voice sounds more amused than nagging. "That imagination of yours is somethin' else. Have you been thinkin' bout it all this time, hmh, greedy dirty slut?"
The orgasm looms closer, hitting when Joel pushes a second rough finger in, walls clenching against his digits. He pulls away, licking his fingers with his tongue.
"Such a perfect pussy you got there, sweetheart. As sweet as you when you ain't bein' a pain in the ass"
You laugh breathless, trying to recover.
"Wanna taste?"
So now he's kissing you for the first time, his lips rough against plush skin, nibbling with your lower lips between his teeth, his tongue still tasting like you roaming free inside your mouth, like he wants to mark every corner; imprint himself in you. You've never wanted anything, hell, anyone more. The kiss leaves you hanging, heart racing at the closeness of his face and the warmhearted feeling of his lips on yours, like pieces of a puzzle fitting together.
"There you go" he chuckles, enamoured at the sight of your puffy lips. "Now it's my turn"
He's quick to get rid of the jeans and belt (oh well, it'll be another day) until he's over you, just wearing his boxers.
You'd never seen Joel naked before, why would you? But there's a vague memory of hot summer days, trying to survive the heat in the town's pool, just as the rest. He was there, eye candy for the mothers and horny teens. You hadn't understand back then, when he was all muscle, but you do know, where the mighty strenght is still hidden there, somewhere between his sturdy arms and chest as soft as his belly, round as it pushes above the only piece of cloth that forbids you to see his dick. His chest is full of hair, and God, you feel so dirty wanting to bury your face in the sweat drenched patch.
"Stop lookin' at me like that" he teases, but there is a small voice of insecurity hiding its undertones beneath his smirk under your stare.
"You're so fucking hot, Joel" comes out before you can stop it, now mouth acting up on its own.
Fuck, he thinks, he's too far gone. There's no point of return.
Your eager fingers pull down the underwear, fingers grazing the softness of his length. You slowly grabs his dick as he comes closer, never seeing anything as big and provoking as it. That makes you tighten your grip on his dick, which stands proud and tall, leaking precum, and the muscles of his thighs strain against his skin. 
He positions himself between your legs again.
"Let's put this big bad boy to use, huh?"
He grunts at your words, large hands finding your thighs for support, as he caresses up and down the skin littered with marks and kisses.
Joel pushes in. Just his tip, yet your mouth falls open at how large he already feels, and you tighten your hold on his neck.
"Tell me if it hurts" all softness on his eyes, his forehead falling against yours, as if he hadn't been punishing you just minutes ago. Your heart races at the gesture, tender meeting the rough of his edges.
The real question isn't asked, but you're on the pill and you trust him. You just want to fill him inside of you, all of him.
"I will, Mr. Miller"
He slams all the way in. You let out a broken sound, quickly muffled by his palm as he stays buried deep inside of you, givimg you time to adjust to his size. It burns, but you enjoy the way the pain feels. He slowly pulls out, before pushing all the way in again. Your slick folds take him, and he grunts, supporting his aching body by the forehead against yours one more time.
"So tight, sweetheart. Ain't nobody ruinin' this pussy but me" his growl comes out possesive as Joel establishes a steady rhythm. You softly moan as he keeps moving, pounding into you, hitting a spot no one had before, making you see stars. It gets harder to stay quiet, but Joel caputres every little sound that comes out of you in a kiss, as if that way he could preserve them better and forever.
You wrap your legs tight around him, keeping him close as your walls clench around him, his thrusts harder yet slower as he keeps going, ramming into you.
"Look at you, coatin' my dick like a fuckin' meltin' ice cream" he gently pushes it again between your folds, rubbing his dick on your clit. "So fuckin' wet, for me"
His lips are slightly parted and his eyes looked all fogged up, lost in the fire, thrusts becoming sloppier as he too feels it coming.
"So fuckin' pretty" drips from his mouth, and there's the stars in your eyes and the light you insist he's always had, even if he'd prefere the darkness. "The prettiest girl in the world with the sweetest pussy, givin' it all to this ol' perverted fuck"
The words and his big dick inside of you makes your eyes flutter shut on instinct.
"Don't sleep on me, baby" he coos, a hand brushing damp hair from your face. You recognize the look: the same in the car, on the balcony and on the poarch of his house, after letting the years go by. Back then, you thought you had dreamed it, but now that the secret saccharine sweetness reveals herself as he slams into you, you know it was real.
This is real.
You meet his gaze again and try to hold it as he pounds you so gently yet so rough, trying to show him without words that whatever this wrong and sick feeling was, you felt the same.
"Such'a good girl, takin' me so well" Joel grunts, slamming to the hilt. "Fuck, sweetheart, I'm gonna-"
His dick twitches inside of you, walls spasming around his cock as your pussy takes it all, milking him dry.
"Take it all, like the good girl you are"
Both of you pant, and it takes him a while to realize the sun is raising again until its rays hurt his eyesight.
He's about to tell you how this shouldn't be, how he, at such an old age shouldn't be pinning for his daughter's friend: so young, sweet and loud-mouthed. No matter if you felt the same, or if your body was marked in and out by him, No, because wanting isn't enough, and no tide could wash away his sins from the shore.
"Listen, y/n-" your name like he has never said it before: no scold, no malice nor lust. Just a softness he hadn't felt in years, asleep under thick layers of cold.
But your soft snores fill the silence between the beats of his heart.
Tumblr media
tags: @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrosgrogu thank you sm for reading! hope u enjoy it :)
473 notes · View notes
orangeblossomsintheair · 1 day ago
Text
ILLICIT AFFAIRS (3/3) | CS55
Tumblr media
summary : You shouldn’t have said anything. You really shouldn’t have. But it’s too late now. “He sent me a dildo shaped like his cock,” you mutter under your breath, so fast you almost hope she didn’t hear you.
wc : 14k
an : This might be the end of the Illicit Affairs series! Honestly I might write another part (as I intended) but I realized it could also end here. I might work it alongside a few other fics on the back burner.
The thing about Carlos is that he doesn’t tiptoe. He doesn’t hesitate.
He’s the kind of guy who walks into your life, plops down, and acts like he’s always been there.
At first, you think he’s just passing through, like one of those tumbleweeds in old Westerns. Here for a moment, gone in another, leaving only a faint memory and maybe a little dust.
But Carlos is no tumbleweed.
He’s ivy. Creeping into the corners of your life, attaching himself with relentless charm and absolutely zero warning.
At first, it had just been sex.
Carlos calls, you pick up, and the two of you dive headfirst into whatever filthy scenario he’s cooked up for the evening.
It’s hot, it’s fun, and afterwards, you both lie there catching your breath while exchanging a few words like some half-hearted attempt at aftercare.
“Good for you?” he’ll ask, panting, his voice somehow managing to sound both teasing and sincere.
“Sure,” you say, rolling your eyes at the ceiling. “Top ten, at least.”
He laughs. Deep, warm, addictive. “I’ll aim for top five next time.”
It’s simple. Casual. Exactly what you signed up for.
Until it’s not.
Until the minutes start to stretch.
At first, it’s just an extra five. Then ten. Then before you know it, the two of you are sitting there, chatting about absolutely nothing long after the heat of the moment has faded.
Next thing you know Carlos is reaching out for the sake of company.
It’s easy to brush it off at first.
To pretend it’s harmless.
Carlos is just a guy who’s annoyingly good at making you laugh and has a voice so smooth it could probably negotiate world peace or at least a really good discount at a used car dealership.
But then, one afternoon, as you’re scrolling through your texts, you realize something horrifying:
You talk to Carlos more than you talk to your friends.
No, scratch that. You talk to Carlos more than you talk to anyone.
And it’s not just the sheer volume. It’s the content.
It’s the way his words sneak into your day, set up camp, and throw a block party. He texts you good morning before you’ve even had coffee, which is frankly criminal.
Carlos Rise and shine, baby. Did you dream about me again?
You I dreamed I hit you with my car
Carlos Hot. Was I shirtless?
You No, but you were crying. Freaked me out
Carlos Probably because I looked so good
You should block him.
You should delete his number.
You do neither, because somewhere deep down, you’re a masochist.
He doesn’t stop at morning texts either.
He sends unsolicited opinions all day, every day.
Carlos Do you think cows ever get tired of standing?
You They sit, Carlos. They sit all the time.
Carlos Yeah, but like, emotionally? What if they’re just pretending to like grass because they’re scared of change
You What would they change to, exactly? Chicken nuggets?
Carlos Maybe. Cows could be wild carnivores waiting for their moment. We don’t know what they’re capable of.
One day, while you're halfway through a bag of chips, your phone buzzes again.
Carlos Do you think birds ever judge us for not flying?
You You need therapy
Carlos So do you, but I don’t judge
You You judge me constantly 🤨
The banter becomes relentless.
Carlos If you had to pick one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
You Pasta
Carlos Predictable. You’re so basic it physically hurts
You Pretentious words from a man whose favorite snack is probably caviar
Carlos First of all, how dare you
You You’re trash
Carlos Trash that you text back btw
Then comes the random photos.
He sends you a blurry picture of his sneakers one afternoon.
Carlos Do these make me look fast? Be honest, but also lie
You Fast to embarrass yourself
Carlos Wow. Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon
Carlos Does it change anything if I say they’re limited edition
You Limited edition ugly
He sends you a picture of his dog another day, sprawled on the couch like he pays rent.
Carlos We’ve decided to boycott walkies today.
Solidarity with my guy.
You Tell him he’s lazy
Carlos He says those are bold words from someone who hasn’t hit the gym this week
You glare at the screen. It’s 7 a.m. How does he even know that?
You Your dog is illiterate. Don’t drag him into this
Carlos Rude. He’s very smart
You He licks his own butt
He becomes a fixture in your life without you even noticing.
Carlos Did you miss me while I was asleep?
One morning, you’re sipping your coffee when your phone buzzes.
You I slept better knowing you weren’t conscious
Carlos So, you’re saying you dreamt about me
You I dreamt I moved to a remote island where Wi-Fi doesn’t exist
Carlos Romantic getaway for two. Love that for us
You groan, but your fingers are already typing a response.
And somehow, without you realizing it, Carlos isn’t just a voice on the phone or a name on your screen.
He’s everywhere, weaving himself into your days with his relentless humor and absolute refusal to leave you alone.
That’s why when a day passes by without any contact, you’re tilted off balance.
The silence is unnerving.
You tell yourself it’s just one night.
One single night where Carlos doesn’t text or call, and you should be relieved.
Grateful, even, for the reprieve from his relentless antics.
But you’re not.
You spend the evening trying not to think about it.
You scroll through Instagram, open a book, binge half a season of some random series. But every few minutes, you find yourself glancing at your phone, waiting for it to light up.
It doesn’t.
The hours crawl by, and by the time you’re lying in bed, glaring at the ceiling, you’re starting to feel… itchy. Annoyed. Frustrated. And maybe just a little bit unreasonably hurt.
Then, finally, your phone buzzes.
You grab it so fast you nearly knock it off the nightstand.
Carlos Miss me?
Your stomach does a ridiculous little flip, but you type back quickly.
You Not even a little
Carlos Liar
Another message follows: a selfie of him holding the meerkat plushie you’d sent him as a joke a week ago.
Carlos He misses you too
You groan, but your cheeks ache from smiling.
Carlos By the way
Carlos I sent you a gift
You I didn’t get a package?
Carlos Wait
Carlos Call me when you get it
You shake your head, setting your phone down.
It’s probably something stupid. Knowing Carlos, it could be anything from a ridiculous gag gift to an actual penguin.
Two days later, a package arrives.
It’s sitting on your kitchen counter, deceptively normal-looking for something that Carlos sent.
You eye it warily, debating whether you should even bother opening it.
You stare at it for a good ten minutes, arms crossed, trying to decide whether you should call him first or just dump it straight into the trash.
Eventually, curiosity (and mild fear) wins out. You grab your phone and click the topmost contact.
It rings once before he picks up.
“I was wondering how long it’d take you,” Carlos says, his voice smooth and entirely too smug.
“What the hell did you send me?” you demand without preamble.
“Why don’t you open it and find out?”
“Carlos.”
“Yes?”
You groan, already regretting this decision. “I swear to God, if it’s alive-”
“It’s not alive,” he interrupts.
“Then what is it?”
“Open it.”
“No,” you snap. “Because if it’s something awful, I can’t unsee it. I’m preemptively traumatized. Just tell me what it is so I can mentally prepare.”
“That’s not how surprises work,” he replies, completely unbothered.
“It’s not a surprise if I hate it,” you point out.
“You won’t hate it.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“You might be pleasantly surprised,” he insists, and there’s a tone in his voice, something too smug, too amused, that makes your stomach churn with suspicion.
“Carlos,” you warn.
“Yes?”
“If this is some kind of prank-”
“It’s not a prank,” he says, cutting you off again. “It’s a gift. A thoughtful, meaningful, deeply personal gift.”
“Deeply personal?” you echo, narrowing your eyes at the box like it’s about to explode. “That doesn’t sound reassuring.”
“It’s just a little something to remind you of me,” he adds, which is possibly the least reassuring thing he could have said.
You exhale sharply through your nose, setting your phone down on the counter so he can see.
His face lights up on the screen, all lazy smirks and overconfidence, and you hate the way your stomach flips at the sight of him.
Grabbing a pair of scissors, you slice through the tape with the caution of someone defusing a bomb.
Carlos watches you with rapt attention, his chin resting on his hand. “Excited?”
“I’m terrified,” you deadpan, peeling back the flaps of the box.
For a moment, you just stare.
Then, you shriek. Loudly.
“Carlos, what the fuck?!”
He leans closer to the camera, his grin widening. “You like it?”
“You sent me a dildo?!” you yell, your voice an octave higher than usual.
“Not just any dildo,” he says smugly, sitting back like he’s the king of the universe.
You stare at him, then at the object in the box, and back at him again.
It looks… normal, at first glance.
But then you notice the size. The veins. The shade.
The very specific details.
“Oh my God,” you whisper, horror dawning. “It’s your… your…”
“My cock,” he supplies helpfully. “Yep.”
“Carlos!” you screech, clutching the box like it’s cursed. “You’re a lunatic!”
“True,” he says, completely unfazed. “But admit it- you’re impressed.”
“Impressed?!” you repeat, your voice pitching even higher. “What is WRONG with you?!”
“A lot,” he admits, far too cheerfully. “But you already knew that.”
“How did you even- who does this?!”
“Visionaries,” he says smoothly. “Trendsetters. People who care deeply about customer satisfaction.”
“Customer?!”
“Well, you.”
“I am not your customer!” you yell, holding the replica aloft like it’s a cursed artifact.
Carlos is unbothered. “Technically, you are. You’ve been enjoying the original product for a while now. Or, well, the sight of it.”
You choke on air. “You’re insane.”
“Insanely thoughtful,” he corrects.
“You’re disgusting.”
“And you’re flustered. It's very cute.”
Your jaw drops. “I am not-”
He cuts you off, grinning wider. “So, when’s the test drive?”
“Oh my God,” you mutter, setting the… thing down and burying your face in your hands. “This isn’t happening.”
“Take your time,” he says, magnanimous. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”
“You’re welcome, by the way,” he adds, like this is a completely normal conversation.
“I didn’t ask for this!”
“I know. That’s what makes it such a great surprise,” he says, his grin practically splitting his face.
“Surprise?!” you echo. “I almost had a heart attack!”
“You’ll appreciate it later,” he says confidently.
“I will not!”
“Bet you will.”
“You need therapy,” you hiss, shoving the box away like it might explode.
“And you need lube,” he counters smoothly.
“You’re deranged!”
“Efficient,” he corrects, smirking. “In case you miss me.”
“I don’t!” you lie, your face burning.
Carlos watches you, entirely too pleased with himself. “You’re keeping it, though.”
“I am absolutely not-”
“Yes, you are,” he interrupts, his tone maddeningly smug.
“I am throwing it in the trash right now!” you declare, grabbing the box and stomping toward the trash can.
He leans closer to the camera, completely unbothered. “Go ahead. I’ll wait.”
You freeze, hand hovering over the trash.
“There it is,” he says smugly. “Knew you wouldn’t.”
“You’re insufferable,” you mutter, stomping back to the counter and slamming the box down.
“And yet, here you are, calling me,” he points out.
“Because I needed to yell at you!”
“And now you’re smiling.”
“I am not smiling!” you yell, even as you turn away from the camera to hide the traitorous curl of your lips.
Carlos laughs, leaning back in his chair. “Admit it- you think it’s funny.”
“I think it’s horrifying!”
“You’re laughing on the inside.”
“I’m plotting your murder on the inside,” you snap.
“Sure, sure,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “So. Again. When are you trying it out?”
“Oh my God,” you mutter, pressing the heels of your hands to your eyes. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do.”
“Liar,” he says again, his grin positively devilish.
Before you can come up with a response, he adds, “Just make sure to let me know how it compares to the real thing. For science.”
“You’re insane,” you mutter, grabbing your phone and ending the call with a vicious jab.
Seconds later, your phone buzzes with a text.
Carlos Don’t forget lube, babe. You’re gonna need it. ;)
You stare at the screen, your cheeks burning.
Carlos And batteries. Unless you want to do it the old-fashioned way. Your call.
You want to throw the phone, the box, and maybe yourself out the nearest window.
You Blocked
Carlos Bad girl.
Carlos has this way of getting under your skin. Not in an infuriating, "I can’t believe I’m dealing with this" kind of way, but more in the likes of "Why do I secretly enjoy this ridiculousness?"
It starts with a string of increasingly pathetic messages.
Carlos Please?
Carlos Just once?
Carlos I take that back.
Carlos Twice? Maybe even thrice
Carlos C’mon, I’ll be good
Carlos I’m literally begging here
Carlos On my knees
Carlos Pathetically btw
Carlos Do you need a photo for proof?
You roll your eyes so hard it’s a miracle they don’t fall out of your head.
You Carlos, we are not doing this again
Carlos You say that
Carlos But I feel like deep down you want to. You’re just being stubborn
He replies instantly, because of course he’s sitting there, waiting for your response like his life depends on it.
“Stubborn,” you deadpan, fingers hovering over your phone. “Sure. That’s definitely it.”
And then he hits you with a voice note, because apparently texts alone can’t convey his desperation.
You don’t even mean to open it, but your thumb slips, and suddenly there he is, using that tone that he knows gets to you.
"Just once," he begs, words spilling out of your speakers like some lovesick fool. "I swear I’ll make it worth your time. Please. I just wanna watch you take me again."
You know you shouldn’t.
It’s ridiculous, bordering on embarrassing.
But then you picture his face, probably flushed, probably biting his lip in that way that always gets to you, and against your better judgment, you cave.
You Fine. But just this once
Carlos I love you
Carlos You’re the best
Carlos I’m naming my firstborn after you
You Just call me
Carlos Yes ma'am 🥰
When the call connects, you're met with the sight of Carlos lounging on his couch looking very much the part of a man who's won an impossible bet.
One arm is draped lazily over the backrest, laptop balanced on his thighs.
The soft glow from the screen highlights the sharp angles of his jawline and the shadow of stubble that you know feels just as delicious as it looks.
The smirk that he wears is devastating. An expression of smug satisfaction that makes your pulse race even as you curse him for it.
His shirt clings to his broad chest, the undone buttons teasing you with a glimpse of hard lines across tanned skin.
His eyes are locked onto you.
There’s heat in them, hunger.
He’s relaxed, but you can feel the tension rolling off him, the way he’s barely holding himself back.
And you?
You’re perched on your bed, knees tucked beneath you, completely bare.
The dildo lies heavy in your hand, the silicone cool against your flushed skin.
The sheer indecency of it sends a rush of heat through you, making your thighs clench.
Carlos smirks, his hand disappearing offscreen for a moment, only to return with a slow stroke along his already hard cock.
He leans forward slightly, the movement drawing your eyes to the way his length twitches in his hand.
For someone who was shamelessly begging just minutes ago, Carlos is playing it way too cool now.
“Naked on your bed, holding a mold of my dick,” he says, his voice smooth like it’s a damn sales pitch. “I mean, come on. That’s the kind of devotion poets write sonnets about.”
You snort, rolling your eyes even as your cheeks heat up. “Oh, yeah. Shakespeare totally had this in mind when he wrote, ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day.’”
“Exactly. I’m a classic, baby. Timeless.”
“Delusional,” you counter, grabbing the bottle of lube with way more force than necessary.
His laugh is low and warm, the kind that annoyingly makes your stomach flip. “Call it what you want, but you didn’t say no to my ‘gift.’”
Your glare falters, just for a second, and he catches it immediately. Carlos thrives on cracks in your armor, and his smirk sharpens like a predator who just spotted its prey.
You glare at the bottle in your hand like it personally wronged you. "I hate you," you mutter, squeezing out a glob of lube.
Carlos's face lights up on the screen, all smug satisfaction and unearned charm. "Funny, because you're doing exactly what I asked. Almost like you want to."
"Don’t push your luck,”
He leans closer to his camera, his grin widening. "Oh, pushing my luck is my favorite hobby. You know this."
You level him with a deadpan stare. "And yet, here you are. Still single."
"Wow. Low blow. But fine, I'll allow it, because you're about to make my night."
"Make your night?" You scoff, dragging this out purely to annoy him. "I’m just trying to remember what this was called. A gag gift, right? Or was it just a waste of money?"
His jaw drops. "A gag gift? I can’t believe you’d say that. This is art."
"This is silicone," you reply flatly, holding up the toy with a disapproving shake of your head.
"Silicone art," he corrects, pointing at the screen like that changes anything. His grin sharpens. "And don’t pretend you weren’t curious the moment I sent it to you."
"You sent this to annoy me," you retort, spreading the lube over your fingers with dramatic flair. "And congratulations, it worked."
Carlos leans forward, his chin propped on his hand as he watches you, his dark eyes glittering with mischief.
"Oh, but look at you now. All lubed up and ready to go. Who's the real winner here, hmm?"
"Still me," you shoot back, though your fingers falter as you glance down at the toy.
Your grip tightens as if it’s a stress ball, and the obscene squelch it makes has you biting back a groan.
Carlos’s smirk grows. "Careful, sweetheart. You keep squeezing it like that, and I’ll think you’re practicing for something."
You let out a sharp breath through your nose, refusing to look at him. "You’re insufferable, you know that?"
He leans in even closer. "And you’re still here. Lube in hand. Ready to-"
"Don’t finish that sentence," you interrupt, finally looking up to glare at him. "I’ll block you."
Carlos snickers, leaning back like he’s won. "You’d never block me. I’m your favorite pain in the ass."
"No," you say, grabbing the toy with more force than necessary. "You're just a pain in the ass in general. Huge difference."
His brow arches as he watches you spread the lube along the length of the toy, the slick sound louder than your ego can handle. You freeze mid-motion, hyper-aware of his gaze tracking every movement.
Carlos’s grin falters for a moment, replaced by something darker, hungrier. His voice drops an octave. "Good girl."
The unexpected praise punches the air out of your lungs, and your hands falter, nearly dropping the toy.
"Keep going," he murmurs, his tone rich with satisfaction. His eyes don’t leave yours, the heat in them curling low in your stomach. "Let me see you do it."
Your pride flares, and you straighten your spine, lifting your chin as you resume your movements with exaggerated precision.
"You’re lucky I don’t throw this thing across the room," you grumble.
Carlos hums, his gaze shamelessly lingering. "You wouldn’t dare. That thing cost more than your dignity."
"Bold words for someone whose dignity died in 2016," you snap, but the banter feels more like a lifeline now, a way to distract yourself from the intensity of his gaze.
The corner of his mouth lifts, cocky and infuriating. "Touché."
You inhale sharply, your hands trembling slightly as you grip the toy.
You hate how your body reacts to him, how his voice, his laugh, his everything gets under your skin like this.
Carlos leans forward again, his smirk all-knowing. "Having fun yet?"
Your pride makes you glare at him. “Fuck you.”
His laugh is low, indulgent, the sound curling around you like smoke. "Soon, sweetheart. Very soon."
“Shut up.”
“Make me,” he fires back smoothly, his eyes gleaming with wicked intent.
His voice drops to a growl. "But you won’t, will you? You’ll do exactly what I say because you love being told what to do. Makes you wet just thinking about it, doesn’t it?"
Your lips part, but the sharp retort you’re trying to form dies as his gaze drops to your hands.
His smirk fades, replaced by a hunger so fierce it leaves you breathless.
“Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice rich with satisfaction.
The unexpected praise sends a rush of heat straight to your core. "Keep going. Let me see you do it."
Your fingers tremble as you continue spreading lube on the length of the toy, the silicone cool against your skin.
“Fuck,” Carlos breathes, his hand tightening around his cock. “Look at you, already so obedient. Knew you’d listen.”
He shifts slightly, his voice softening. “Now, spread those legs for me. Show me how wet you are. I want to see that pretty pussy you’ve been thinking about me filling.”
Your thighs part, the cool air brushing against your slick heat as you settle back against the pillows.
His sharp inhale through the speakers sends a jolt straight to your core.
“Fuck,” he groans, his voice strained.
His hand pauses on his cock as he drinks in the sight of you, dark eyes dragging over every inch of exposed skin. "You’re so fucking perfect. Do you even realize how bad I want to bury myself in you right now?"
Your skin feels like it’s on fire, the heat spreading from your cheeks to your chest as the ache between your thighs sharpens with every passing second of his unrelenting stare.
Slowly, you drag the toy through your folds, the soft, slick sound of your arousal breaking the tense silence.
It’s obscene, the way the wetness clings, glistening on the head of the silicone.
Your arousal drips along your thighs, the skin glistening under the low light and you can feel how messy you’ve become, how utterly soaked you are.
"Oh, sweetheart," he rasps, his eyes fixed on the toy and the way it slides against your swollen folds. "That's it. Get it nice and wet for me. I want to see just how desperate you are to take it."
Your fingers tremble as you position the toy at your entrance, the blunt tip pressing against your slick heat. You hesitate, glancing up at him through the screen.
“Carlos…”
“Go on, baby,” he urges, his tone soft but insistent. “Don’t make me wait. I want to see you take it.”
You bite your lip, a soft whine escaping as you slide the tip between your folds again. His gaze darkens, his strokes faltering as he watches you hover above it.
The moment the dildo breaches the first ring of muscles, your head falls back with a moan that’s nothing short of sinful.
Carlos’s eyes burn through the screen, dark and wild, his fist sliding steadily up and down his cock as he watches you begin to move.
“Fuck, baby, look at you,” he groans, his voice rough and needy. “You’re so fucking tight. That little pussy is made for me, isn’t it?”
You whimper, your hips starting to bounce, your slick heat making it easier to slide up and down. The toy stretches you so perfectly, but it’s his words that send fire shooting through your veins.
“Yes,” you gasp, gripping the bed to keep your balance. “It’s yours, Carlos. Always yours.”
“Damn right it is,” he growls, stroking himself faster. “You'd rather have me inside you, stretching you out, making you scream my name, hm? Doesn't matter if it's a mold from my cock. Still can't compare, yeah?”
Your hips jerk at his filthy words, and you pick up the pace, grinding down harder until the toy presses right against that spot that makes you see stars.
“Say it,” he demands, his voice dripping with dominance. “Say how much you want my cock, baby. Tell me what you miss.”
“I miss you,” you cry out, each bounce making your voice tremble. “Miss the way you fill me up, how fucking deep you get- oh god, Carlos-”
“That’s my girl,” he groans, his jaw tightening as he watches the way your body moves, the slick sounds of the dildo sliding in and out of you driving him insane.
“You’d take me so good, wouldn’t you? Let me fuck you until you can’t even think, until you’re dripping all over my cock.”
“Please,” you whine, your fingers digging into the sheets as the pleasure builds, your body tightening around the toy with every bounce. “I need it. Need you to fuck me, Carlos. Need to feel you come inside me-”
“Shit,” he growls, his hips jerking up into his hand. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Feeling me stretch you open, filling you so full you’d still be dripping with me the next day.”
Your head is spinning, the combination of his words and the relentless drag of the dildo inside you sending you spiraling closer to the edge.
“You’d let me do whatever I want, wouldn’t you?” His voice is a low, dirty rasp now, his strokes frantic as he chases his release. “You’d let me bend you over, fuck you on every surface in the house, make you come over and over until you’re begging me to stop.”
You nod desperately.
“Go faster, baby” Carlos murmurs, his voice low and rough.
You whimper, obeying.
Each downward motion stretches you all over again, and the fullness makes your eyes flutter shut as a moan spills from your lips.
Carlos’s growl cuts through the speakers, low and rough. “You look so pretty fucking yourself on it like that.”
You lift yourself just enough for the toy to drag along your walls, the friction igniting sparks of pleasure that ripple through you.
When you sink back down, the stretch feels even deeper. Your thighs tremble, your pace picking up as the need builds inside you.
“Fuck,” Carlos groans. “Your tits are bouncing so perfectly. Keep going, baby, let me see them move while you ride it.”
Your breasts sway with each bounce, the motion only adding to the heat pooling low in your belly.
The way his eyes lock onto you, dark, hungry, devouring, makes your nipples pebble, the cool air only amplifying the sensation.
“You look so fucking good,” Carlos murmurs, half mindless, his strokes on his cock quickening as he watches you. “Look at how deep it’s stretching you. Look at the way your tits bounce every time you take it. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”
You can’t stop now, the pleasure too much to ignore.
Your hips grind down harder, rolling in small circles as you press yourself against the base of the toy.
Each motion sends shocks of ecstasy through you, your slick heat gripping the silicone like you never want it to leave.
“Bounce on it harder,” he says.
Your hands grip the sheets tightly as you obey, your hips lifting and dropping with more urgency.
The wet, obscene sound of the toy sliding in and out of you fills the room, mixing with your soft gasps and moans. Your breasts bounce with every movement, and you feel the weight of his gaze like a physical touch.
“Baby,” Carlos groans, his fist tightening around his cock as he watches you ride the toy. “You’re so fucking perfect. You’d ride me just like that, wouldn’t you? Taking every inch, letting me stretch you open until you can’t handle it.”
Your breath catches, your body arching as you grind down harder, the toy hitting that perfect spot deep inside you. “Carlos,” you gasp, your voice trembling. “It feels so good- so fucking full-”
“That’s it,” he growls, his strokes turning frantic as he watches you lose yourself. “Take it all, baby. Keep bouncing. I want to see you come while you’re stretched out like that.”
“Yes,” you gasp, your body trembling as you grind harder, your cries turning into broken moans. “Carlos, I’m- fuck, I’m gonna come-”
“Do it,” he growls, his eyes locked on you, his voice pure command. “Come for me, baby. I want to see it. Show me how fucking good I make you feel.”
Your body shatters at his words, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. Your walls clench around the toy, your cries spilling out uncontrollably as pleasure courses through you.
“Fucking hell,” Carlos groans, his own release hitting him hard as he watches you fall apart. His hand jerks wildly as he spills over himself, his groans mixing with your whimpers through the screen.
As you both come down, the air is thick and charged, your bodies still trembling from the intensity of it all. Carlos grins at you, looking like the devil himself, his chest still heaving.
“Pretty girl.”
—-
Carlos’s phone is propped up against his water bottle, the screen showing you on the other end of the line as the two of you talk over lunch.
He’s at a small café near the gym, picking at a plate of grilled chicken and rice while you sit on the terrace of a restaurant somewhere near the Monaco Marina.
He can’t tell which restaurant exactly, but it doesn’t matter. He’s too focused on the way the sunlight catches in your hair, how you’re picking at a croissant with absentminded precision.
“So, wait,” you say, mid-bite. “You’re telling me you thought you could just wing the French?”
Carlos grins, popping a spoonful into his mouth. “I did wing it. The waiter understood me perfectly.”
“Sure,” you deadpan. “Because pointing at the menu is such a skill.”
He chuckles, wiping his fingers on a napkin. “Why complicate things? A man’s gotta eat.”
You shake your head, your exasperation half-hearted at best. “You’re hopeless.”
“Worked, didn't it?” he counters smoothly, a spark of mischief in his eyes.
You roll your eyes but don’t argue, which feels like a victory.
For a moment, the conversation drifts to lighter topics.
Where you’d want to travel next, the chaos of his morning workout, and whether or not croissants count as dessert.
It’s easy, effortless, the kind of back-and-forth that feels like second nature.
But then you glance down, suddenly fidgeting with your sleeve, and Carlos picks up on the shift immediately.
“What’s that face?” he asks, leaning forward, curiosity laced in his tone.
You pause, debating, then sigh. “Can I tell my friends about this?”
Carlos blinks. “This?”
“Us,” you say, casually, but the word lands heavier than you probably realize.
He freezes for a split second, his mind stalling like a rookie stalling a car on the grid.
Us.
You don't mean it in the way that’s currently making his chest feel too tight, but it doesn’t stop the word from echoing in his head.
You take another bite of your croissant like you haven’t just derailed his entire thought process.
“Legally? No.” he says, recovering with a smirk. “You’re under NDA. You can’t even mention I exist.”
Your eyes narrow. “Carlos, no one cares that much about you.”
“Ouch,” he says, clutching his chest dramatically.
You shake your head, your expression flat. “Be serious. Is it okay or not?”
He leans back, draping an arm over his chair and studying you with an unreadable expression.
The truth is, he should say no. He should remind you how much he values his privacy, how careful he has to be.
But the thought of you talking about him, to your friends, no less, makes him feel... proud. Like he’s somehow made it onto a list of people who matter to you.
“Yeah,” he says finally, his voice casual. “Go ahead.”
“Really?”
“Why not?”
You narrow your eyes, clearly suspicious. “You’re not going to show up at my door with legal threats if I say something stupid?”
“Not unless it’s really stupid,” he teases.
Your unimpressed stare makes him grin wider. “You’re annoying,” you mutter, but your tone lacks any real bite.
“You love me though,” he counters easily.
He watches as your face softens, just for a moment, and something about it makes his heart stutter in a way he’d never admit.
“You’re impossible,” you say, shaking your head.
“And you like it,” he fires back, his voice light, though there’s a trace of sincerity underneath it.
The conversation shifts again, and by the time you glance at your watch, he’s already dreading the inevitable.
“I should go,” you say, reaching for your coffee cup.
“Busy?”
“Not really,” you admit, but you’re already sitting straighter, ready to leave.
Carlos hesitates, leaning forward slightly. “Hey.”
You pause, looking up at him expectantly.
“Call me again tomorrow,” he says, softer this time.
Your brow lifts, a flicker of curiosity crossing your face. “Why?”
He shrugs, fighting the grin threatening to take over. “I like hearing your voice.”
For a moment, you just stare at him, and he thinks maybe, just maybe, you’re about to call him out on it.
But then you roll your eyes, hiding a smile that he doesn’t miss.
“Goodbye, Carlos,” you say, shaking your head as you reach for the screen.
The call ends, and Carlos sits back in his chair, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he stares at the now-empty screen.
Us.
—-
It’s the bimonthly girlfriend meet-up, and Kika’s already locked onto you like a heat-seeking missile.
“So, there’s this guy,” you say casually, swirling your wine like this isn’t about to become the most chaotic conversation of your week.
Her brow arches, her smirk appearing like she’s just been handed premium-grade gossip.
“Oh?” she says, leaning in.
“Yes,” you reply, taking a slow sip from your glass, because wine is courage, and you need a lot of it right now.
“Tell me more,” she says, her tone deceptively sweet, like a predator coaxing its prey closer.
You hesitate. There’s no way you’re telling her the guy in question is Carlos Sainz.
That would be insane. Absolutely unhinged.
One, because it’s Carlos Sainz.
Two, because it’s Carlos fucking Sainz.
“We’ve been… hooking up,” you say vaguely, hoping to skate by with minimal detail.
Kika narrows her eyes. “Hooking up? Where? I haven’t seen you at the club scene lately, and I definitely haven’t heard from Charles about you sneaking out.”
You blink at her. “Why would Charles know- wait. Are you spying on me?”
“No,” she says breezily, waving a hand. “But Charles knows everything about you. If you were sneaking around Monaco with a guy, I’d know by now.”
Kika tilts her head, studying you. “So if it’s not a local guy…”
She pauses. Then her eyes widen. “Oh my God. Is it a long-distance thing? Is this why you’ve been all ‘mysterious vibes’ lately?”
You sigh, realizing you’re caught. “It’s phone sex, okay?”
Kika blinks. “Phone sex?”
“Yes,” you say, downing the rest of your wine in one gulp. “We’re doing… phone stuff.”
She hums, sitting back, her gaze calculating. “It’s a famous guy, isn’t it?”
“What?!” you sputter. “How did you- why would you even-”
“Ma’am, look at you.” She gestures at you like you’re an exhibit at the Louvre. “You’re gorgeous. You’re you. Why would you ever settle for phone sex unless it’s, like, some Vogue model or an A-lister who’s too busy jet-setting to see you in person?”
“That’s ridiculous,” you say, trying to laugh her off, but it sounds more like a dying animal.
Her grin turns absolutely wicked, the kind of wicked that makes you instantly regret ever letting her into your life. “Oh, so it is a famous guy. You just gave yourself away. Who is it? Spill.”
“I did not!” you protest, but it’s weak. Too weak.
Kika hums, tapping a finger on her chin as she tilts her head. “Hmm. Let me think. Is it an actor? A musician? Oh my God, is it Harry Styles? Blink once for yes.”
“Kika-”
“Wait!” She gasps, cutting you off and slapping the table. “Is it a prince? Are you pulling a Meghan Markle? Are we about to be royalty by proxy?”
“Kika!” you hiss, glaring at her as a nearby table turns to look at the commotion.
“Okay, okay, fine. I'll behave.”
“But,” she adds, holding up a finger and wagging it at you, “you can’t just stop there. I want details. Stories. Anecdotes. What have you two done other than, like, phone sex? That can’t be it, right? Kick it up a notch. Spice things up.”
Your face burns, and you take a long, slow sip of your drink, desperately trying to buy time. “We… talk.”
Kika stares at you, unimpressed. “Talk? Oh, please. You’re telling me a man calls you up just to talk?”
You shrug, feigning innocence. “Sometimes.”
Her grin turns sharper. “And the other times?”
You look away, pretending to be fascinated by the texture of the tablecloth.
“Oh no,” she says, leaning in like a predator cornering its prey. “You’re not getting out of this. What does he say? What does he do? Don’t make me guess because I will make it a thousand times worse.”
You groan, your head falling into your hands. “Why are you like this?”
“Because I care about you,” she says sweetly, patting your hand before grinning again. “Now spill. What’s the wildest thing he’s done so far? Flown you out to a private island? Sent you a love letter written in champagne? What are we working with here?”
You hesitate. You know telling her anything will only fuel her chaos, but at this point, it feels like you don’t have a choice.
“Fine,” you mumble. “He, um… he sent me a… package.”
You take a long sip of your wine, trying to ignore Kika’s razor-sharp gaze burning into the side of your face.
You shouldn’t have said anything. You really shouldn’t have.
But it’s too late now.
“He sent me a dildo shaped like his cock,” you mutter under your breath, so fast you almost hope she didn’t hear you.
Kika chokes on her wine. Full-on chokes. She’s sputtering, clutching her chest as her eyes go wide.
Meanwhile, you calmly sip your drink, staring at some random painting on the wall like it’s the most fascinating thing you’ve ever seen.
“WHAT?!” she finally manages, her voice about three octaves higher than usual.
“I’m not saying it again,” you reply coolly, refusing to meet her gaze.
“He sent you a-” she starts, and then bursts into laughter so loud half the restaurant turns to look at your table.
You shoot her a glare, shushing her. “Could you not announce it to the entire world?”
“Oh my God,” she wheezes, clutching her stomach. “Mr. Mystery sent you a dildo shaped like his cock?!”
You take another sip of wine, your cheeks burning. “It was… thoughtful.”
“THOUGHTFUL?!” she howls. “He’s out here like, ‘What’s a practical gift? Ah, yes, my dick!’”
“It’s not a big deal,” you mumble into your hands, praying the floor will swallow you whole.
“Not a big- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” She’s laughing so hard she can barely breathe.
“Kika,” you hiss, kicking her under the table.
“That’s so romantic,” she says, ignoring you entirely. “Forget flowers. Forget jewelry. Nothing says love like, ‘Here’s my dick. In case you miss me.’”
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Are you kidding? This is the best thing you’ve ever told me,” she says, still grinning like a lunatic.
She leans forward, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Do you… do you keep it on your nightstand? Like, right next to your lamp? Is it displayed like a trophy? Maybe on one of those little velvet stands?”
“Kika!” you hiss, glancing around the café as if someone might overhear this absolute chaos.
Her laughter crescendos, attracting a few curious stares from nearby tables. She waves them off with a flick of her wrist, too far gone to care.
“No, seriously, I need to know. Oh God, imagine if you lose it. Like, it’s just missing one day and you’re crawling around under your couch yelling, ‘Mr. Mystery, where’s your dick?!’”
You groan, your head dropping into your hands. “Can you be serious for one second?”
She sucks in a breath, fanning herself like she’s about to faint. “Okay, okay. Serious. Totally serious. I’m done. Promise.”
You peek at her through your fingers, skeptical. “You sure?”
She nods, biting her lip to stifle another laugh. “Totally. Except… I have one more question.”
You lean back in your chair, staring at the ceiling like it might grant you patience. “What now?”
She leans in closer, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Is it… accurate?”
You freeze, horrified. “I’m leaving.”
“No, wait!” she cries, grabbing your arm before you can stand. She’s laughing again, her grip on your sleeve shaking with the force of it. “Come on, I’m kidding! Mostly. But seriously. Is it accurate? Like, should we call MythBusters?”
You gape at her, flabbergasted. “Why would I answer that?”
“Because I’m dying to know!” she says, eyes gleaming.
You shake her off and reach for your bag. “You’re insane.”
“And you’re avoiding the question,” she fires back, wagging a finger at you like a smug prosecutor. “Which makes me think it’s very accurate.”
You narrow your eyes. “You’re lucky I haven’t thrown this glass of wine at you.”
“Please,” she scoffs, twirling her straw. “You’d never waste good wine. Now, answer me. Did he measure it himself, or do you think there was a mold involved? Like, did he sit there in some science lab with a team of experts, being all, ‘Make sure you get the angle right!’?”
“Oh my God,” you groan, covering your face again.
The two of you quiet down as a waiter approaches your little corner.
It’s quiet for a moment—mercifully quiet.
Kika is vibrating with barely restrained laughter, and you’re praying she doesn’t lose it while he’s standing there.
The waiter sets down your plates, refills your glasses, and gives Kika a quick, confused glance because she’s shaking like a malfunctioning washing machine.
You smile at him—tight, polite, please don’t ask questions, I beg you—and he wisely scurries off.
The second he’s out of earshot, Kika slams her hands on the table, rattling the cutlery. “Let me see it.”
You nearly choke on your own saliva. “What?! No!”
“Why not?” she demands, like this is a perfectly reasonable request.
“Why not? Because we’re in a crowded restaurant, that’s why!” you hiss, clutching your purse like it’s a medieval chastity belt.
She leans forward, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “So you’re saying there’s a non-crowded situation where you’d show me?”
“That’s not what I said!”
She smirks. “Sure, but you didn’t not say it.”
“Kika, I swear to God-”
“Just one peek,” she pleads, like she’s asking for a bite of your dessert. “Under the table. No one will even notice!”
“Under the- what are you, a contraband dealer?” you whisper-yell. “This is not a shady back-alley dildo exchange!”
She grins, undeterred. “So, what does it look like? Is it… metallic?”
You freeze. “Why would it be metallic?!”
“I don’t know! Maybe it’s fancy. Maybe it’s, like, a collector’s item.”
“It’s not a lightsaber, Kika!”
She gasps, her hand flying to her chest. “Oh my God. Does it light up?!”
“No!”
“Are you sure?” she presses, narrowing her eyes. “Maybe it has LEDs. You know, for… ambiance.”
Kika’s obsession with the whole thing also refuses to let up. She knows, and worse, she loves knowing.
It starts small: innocent comments here and there, teasing questions she doesn’t expect you to answer.
But over time, her nosiness evolves into full-blown meddling. She’s not just curious. She’s invested.
And one day, it all comes to a head.
Kika cracks.
Or rather, her big mouth does.
“This is too good,” she hisses over the phone like she’s smuggling state secrets. “I can’t keep it to myself any longer.”
You drop your sandwich mid-bite, the mayo squelching onto the table. “What the hell do you mean you can’t keep it to yourself?”
“This secret,” she says, as if it’s physically weighing her down. “It’s eating me alive. I can’t keep it anymore.”
You groan. “Kika, we’ve talked about this. It’s not your secret to keep.”
“Which is exactly why I need to tell someone!” she snaps, like that’s a logical leap. “It’s not mine! It’s yours! I’m just... borrowing it, and now I’m returning it to the universe.”
“That’s not how secrets work,” you deadpan, rubbing your temples.
“I need to tell someone! Please, let me tell Alex,” she begs, her voice desperate, like she’s asking for kidney donation approval.
You choke. You actually choke, sputtering on your words like a broken engine. “Are you insane? Have you lost what little is left of your mind?”
“She’s so cool! She won’t tell anyone, I swear.” Kika’s tone is sunny, like she’s campaigning for Alex to win Best Confidant of the Year. “She loves secrets! She’s a vault!”
“She’s my brother’s girlfriend! My. Brother’s. Girlfriend.” You emphasize each word like you’re explaining calculus to a toddler.
“And a great secret keeper regardless of who she’s dating!” She chirps, undeterred.
“She’s dating my brother,” you hiss, as if saying it will drive the point home in her thick skull, pacing across your room like a caged animal. “Do you not see the problem here?”
“I see no problem,” she says brightly. “Alex is the Fort Knox of secrets. She’ll take this to her grave.”
“She’ll take it to my brother,” you counter, jabbing the air with your finger even though she can’t see you. “And then my brother will take it to my mom, and then my mom will take it to church, and next thing you know, I’m being exorcised for sins of the phone!”
Kika laughs, the kind of laugh that means she’s not taking you seriously at all. “Don’t be dramatic. Your mom would faint.”
“Kika!” you hiss, lowering your voice even though no one else is in the room. “If you tell her, I swear to God, I’ll... I’ll-”
“You’ll what? Call Mr. Mystery and complain about me?” Her grin is practically audible.
“Yes, and he’ll agree with me!” you snap, clutching your phone so tightly it’s a miracle it doesn’t crack. “Because this is not a group project!”
“Okay, okay!” She gasps, wheezing like she just finished a marathon. “I won’t tell her! I swear!”
You pause, narrowing your eyes even though she can’t see you. “Wait. Really?”
“No,” she says flatly, so matter-of-fact you feel your brain short-circuit. “I’m absolutely telling her. She’s going to lose her mind.”
You let out a shriek so loud your upstairs neighbor thumps on the floor in retaliation. “Kika, if you even breathe a word”
“Just picture it!” she interrupts, steamrolling over your protest. You can hear her bouncing on her bed. “I’ll text her right now. Something casual, like, ‘Hey Alex, you’re never going to believe-’”
“Fine!” you snap, throwing yourself onto the bed so hard the mattress squeaks in protest. “Fine, just tell her! But we do it in the next meet-up! I have to be present to keep your unruly mouth shut!”
Kika lets out an unholy squeal, the kind that makes dogs two blocks over start barking. You yank the phone away from your ear, grimacing.
“This is the best day of my life,” she announces, and you can practically hear her smirk.
“This is the worst day of mine,” you counter, dragging a pillow over your face and screaming into it.
“Relax,” she says breezily. You hear the telltale sound of typing. “Alex is going to eat this up. She loves a little drama.”
You lower the pillow just enough to breathe. “This isn’t drama. This is my life unraveling because you can’t keep your mouth shut.”
“Oh, please. You’re being dramatic,” she says, her tone so casual you almost throw your phone across the room. “It’s not like we're sending the story to Charles. That would be a scandal.”
You sit bolt upright. “Kika, I swear to all that is holy, if this gets back to him-”
“It won’t!” she chirps. “Unless Alex tells him. But she won’t. Probably.”
“Probably?!” Your voice cracks, and you claw at your scalp like you’re trying to yank out the stress by the roots.
“She’s trustworthy! You trust her, right?” Kika says, still typing away.
“No! I don’t trust anyone!” you shout, rolling onto your stomach and pounding your fists into the mattress. “Least of all you!”
Kika laughs so hard she starts coughing. “Oh, you’ll thank me for this one day,” she chokes out between wheezes.
“Unlikely,” you mutter.
“Anyway, gotta go! I’ll let you know if Alex is available next week,” Kika says brightly, and then the call ends before you can respond.
You stare at your phone in silence, a deep sense of dread pooling in your stomach.
Mistakes were made. By you. Specifically by trusting Kika with anything.
The restaurant is stupidly fancy, the kind of place where the bread basket comes with a backstory and the waiters judge you if you butter too enthusiastically.
You sit on the terrace, the Mediterranean sparkling behind you like a postcard that refuses to let you forget how expensive everything is.
Your table has a perfect view of the marina, where billionaires are essentially playing a game of “whose yacht is bigger.”
Not that you’re paying attention.
Alex and Kika are too busy ruining your life for you to focus on anything else.
Alex is halfway through her sea bass when you drop the bomb.
She freezes, her knife poised mid-cut, before her hand falls to the table.
Her fork clatters onto the porcelain plate, loud enough to make a few patrons turn their heads.
You wince, sinking lower in your chair.
Across from you, Kika sips her champagne, completely unbothered. She smirks, clearly enjoying the spectacle.
“You’re kidding,” Alex says, eyes wide with disbelief.
Kika doesn’t miss a beat. “Oh, she’s not kidding,” she says, swirling her glass lazily. “She’s dead serious.”
You squirm under Alex’s gaze, picking at your lobster ravioli like it might swallow you whole if you wish hard enough. “It’s not a big deal,” you mumble.
Alex snorts, an uncharacteristically undignified sound for someone who normally looks like she belongs on the cover of Vogue.
“Not a big deal?” she repeats, her voice rising just enough to make you glance nervously at the tables around you.
“Shut it. People are going to hear,” you hiss.
“Oh, darling,” Kika cuts in, her grin widening. “If people heard, they’d ask for more details. Probably start taking notes.”
Alex ignores her, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table, etiquette be damned.
“You’re telling me you’ve been having phone sex with some elite celebrity and it’s ‘not a big deal?’”
You groan, dragging a hand down your face. “Can we not call it that?”
“What would you prefer?” Kika asks, her eyes practically sparkling. “Verbal intimacy? Oral storytelling?”
“I hate you both,” you mutter.
Alex waves her off, laser-focused on you. “And the… gift?” she asks, voice dripping with disbelief. “Are we glossing over the fact that he sent you a dildo?”
“It was thoughtful,” Kika offers, deadpan, before taking another sip of champagne.
“Stop helping,” you snap at her.
“I mean, really,” Alex continues, ignoring the interruption. “The man is rich, probably gorgeous to somehow convince you to give him a chance, could maybe have anyone he wants- and he’s doing phone sex with you?”
You glare at her. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You know what I mean,” she says, brushing off your sarcasm. “Why would he go through all this effort unless-” She stops, her eyes narrowing slightly like she’s just cracked the Da Vinci Code.
“Oh my God.”
“What?” you ask, already dreading whatever is coming next.
“That man is in love with you,” Alex declares, her tone final, like she’s just announced a royal decree.
You choke on air, coughing so violently that Kika reaches over to thump your back, more amused than concerned. “He is not in love with me!” you wheeze.
“He absolutely is,” Alex insists, sitting back and crossing her arms.
“That’s a huge leap,” you argue, waving your hands in front of you. “How do you get ‘in love’ from… from phone sex and-” You gesture vaguely. “Other things?”
Alex doesn’t blink. “He’s a famous athlete, right?”
“Sure,” you say, narrowing your eyes. “So?”
“So,” she says, leaning forward, “he’s settling for phone sex instead of hooking up with someone in person? That doesn’t happen unless he’s in love.”
“It’s not settling!” you argue, flailing slightly. “It’s convenient! We have an NDA; it’s low effort!”
“Low effort?” Alex raises an eyebrow. “More low effort than walking into a club and taking his pick of willing women?”
“Well… yeah!”
Kika cackles, nearly spilling her drink. “Oh, babe. You really think you’re less effort? That’s adorable.”
You glare at her, but Alex presses on, relentless. “Does he do this with anyone else?”
“How would I know that?” you snap.
“Ask him,” Alex says simply, like it’s the most obvious solution in the world.
“Absolutely not!”
“Oh, come on,” Kika says, grinning. “Just casually drop it into conversation. ‘Hey, Mr. Mystery, quick question: am I your only long-distance dirty talk partner, or is this a group activity?’”
You groan, burying your face in your hands. “I’m not asking him that.”
“Why not?” Alex demands, cutting into her sea bass like this conversation isn’t actively ruining your life. “If it’s no big deal, he won’t mind. And if he does mind, well…” She trails off, her smirk infuriatingly smug.
“Then you’ll know he’s in love with you!” Kika chimes in, practically bouncing in her seat.
“Or he’ll think I’m insane,” you shoot back.
Alex shrugs, entirely unbothered. “Either way, it’s good information to have.”
You sit back in your chair, glaring at the two of them as they sip their champagne like this is the most entertaining lunch they’ve ever had.
“You two are the worst,” you mutter.
Kika raises her glass in a mock toast. “To Mr. Mystery and his poor, emotionally repressed heart.”
Alex clinks her glass against Kika’s with a soft laugh. “And to you,” she adds, “the object of his inconvenient affections.”
You consider grabbing their glasses and chucking them into the marina, but that would only prove their point.
Instead, you stab your ravioli with far more force than necessary, trying to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks.
Mistakes. So many mistakes.
You can’t stop thinking about it.
Carlos. In love with you.
The concept is so utterly ridiculous you actually laugh to yourself, out loud, like a complete maniac.
Because Carlos isn’t in love with you.
That’s not how this works. Carlos doesn’t do “love.” Carlos doesn’t do you.
Well, okay, he does you in certain… contexts, but that’s beside the point.
The point is, Carlos is like a human golden retriever with too much charm for his own good.
He’s nice to everyone. He flirts with everyone. He probably gives everyone those stupid lingering looks that make your knees go weak.
He doesn’t fall in love. And if he did, it sure as hell wouldn’t be with you.
But the thought won’t leave your brain. It’s set up camp there, pitching a tent and roasting marshmallows over the fire of your own self-doubt.
And then the photo happens.
It’s a normal day.
Quiet. Peaceful, even.
You’re in bed scrolling through your phone, feeling pretty good about life.
You’ve got coffee on the nightstand, a blanket wrapped around you, and a vague sense of superiority because you haven’t thought about Carlos in at least six hours.
Then his face pops up on your feed.
Carlos, golden and gorgeous, lounging on a yacht like he’s auditioning for a Bond movie. He’s shirtless, of course. Because of course he is. The sun catches in his hair, and his jawline looks so sharp it could cut glass.
You don’t even blink.
You’re too used to this by now. This is just Carlos being Carlos.
But then you see her.
The girl.
She’s pressed up against him, all long legs and glossy hair and perfect teeth. She’s laughing, her hand resting casually, possessively, on his chest like it’s hers to touch.
Your stomach does something horrifying, like it’s trying to fold in on itself.
It’s fine, you tell yourself. This is normal. Carlos is always surrounded by beautiful women. This means nothing.
But the way he’s looking at her…
You throw your phone across the bed like it just personally insulted you.
Then you lie back and stare at the ceiling, trying to convince yourself you’re not spiraling.
Spoiler alert: you’re totally spiraling.
Which is how you end up calling Kika and Alex.
Because misery loves company, and also because you’re desperate for someone to tell you you’re not crazy.
“Hello?” Kika answers, far too cheerful for your current mood.
“I need help,” you blurt out.
“What kind of help?” she asks cautiously.
“Emotional help,” you say dramatically. “I’m having an existential crisis.”
“Of course you are,” she says. “Hang on, I’m adding Alex.”
“No, don’t-”
Too late. Alex’s voice cuts in, already exasperated. “What happened now?”
“He posted a photo,” you mumble, already regretting this.
“Okay…” Alex says slowly. “And?”
“And there was a girl in it,” you say, your voice climbing an octave.
“Oh my God,” Kika groans.
Alex sighs. “Let me guess. Hot girl, hand on his chest, looking like she just stepped out of a magazine?”
“Exactly!” you exclaim, sitting up. “How do you always know?”
“Because this happens every time,” he says dryly. “It’s cliche at this point. You're a walking cliche.”
You whine. “He looked… happy.”
There’s a beat of silence before Kika asks, “Are you drunk?”
“No!”
“Okay, just checking,” she says. “Because you sound drunk. Or insane. Possibly both.”
“I’m being serious!” you say, flopping back onto the bed. “What if he actually likes her?”
“Then he’s an idiot,” Alex says without hesitation.
“You don’t even know who she is!”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says. “No one’s better than you.”
You groan. “That’s not helpful.”
“Look,” Kika cuts in, her tone gentler now. “You’ve got two options. One, you ask him about it. Two, you do what you always do and overthink yourself into oblivion.”
“Three,” Alex adds, “you block him, move to a remote island, and live off coconuts for the rest of your life.”
“I hate both of you,” you mutter.
“No, you don’t,” Kika says sweetly. “Now, are you going to talk to him or not?”
“I don’t know,” you admit. “What if I ask and he laughs at me? Or worse, what if he doesn’t care?”
“Then you’ll know,” Alex says simply.
And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it?
Knowing.
Because right now, as painful as it is, not knowing still feels safer than finding out the truth.
“Thanks, guys,” you say finally.
“Anytime,” Kika says. “Now go stalk his Instagram and cry into your coffee like a normal person.”
“Bye,” you grumble, hanging up.
You stare at the ceiling for a long time after that, the ache in your chest refusing to fade.
So, you cut him off.
Not all at once, because that would be too obvious, and God forbid Carlos Sainz think you’re actually affected by anything he does.
No, you do it slowly, carefully, like easing out of a party you didn’t really want to attend in the first place.
At first, it’s just a delay in your replies. Not anything dramatic, just enough to make it seem like you’ve got better things to do than hang on his every word.
When he sends a text, you leave it unread for an hour. Maybe two.
(Okay, fine, sometimes you read it immediately and then stare at your phone for thirty minutes trying not to reply, but that’s beside the point.)
When you do respond, you keep it short. Curt, even. No emojis, no playful banter, just cold, functional sentences.
Carlos How’s your day going?
You Busy
Carlos Busy with what?
You Work
He doesn’t push, which is somehow worse.
You want him to notice, to ask what’s wrong, to demand answers you’re not prepared to give. But he doesn’t.
He just keeps texting you, the same way he always has, like nothing’s changed.
When he asks to call, you tell him you’re busy. Which is technically true, if “busy” includes reorganizing your spice rack and watching sad movies while eating ice cream straight out of the tub.
It’s not immediate, but it’s different.
The rhythm of your conversations shifts, the easy flow replaced by stilted exchanges that feel like wading through molasses.
The worst part is how much it hurts.
Because cutting him off isn’t supposed to hurt you. It’s supposed to make things better. Easier. Less messy.
But instead, you’re walking around like some tragic romantic hero, clutching your metaphorical wounds and waiting for someone to ask why you look so miserable.
You try to distract yourself.
You download a meditation app, but the soothing voice telling you to “release your tension” only makes you think about how Carlos used to tease you for clenching your jaw when you were stressed.
You go out with friends, laughing too loud and drinking too much, but every time your phone buzzes, you can’t stop yourself from hoping it’s him.
It usually is.
Carlos Did I do something
You Just busy
Carlos Are you mad at me
You No
You toss your phone onto the couch and stare at it like it’s personally betrayed you. He’s starting to notice, which is both validating and soul-crushing.
Because if he notices, then maybe, just maybe, he actually cares.
And if he actually cares, then maybe cutting him off isn’t the answer.
But then you remember the photo. The girl. The way he looked at her.
And you remind yourself that Carlos Sainz isn’t yours. He never was.
So you keep going.
You tell yourself it’ll get easier. That eventually, his texts will stop coming, and the ache in your chest will fade, and you’ll finally be free of whatever this is.
But for now, you’re just sad and tired and watching Pride & Prejudice for the third time this week, convincing yourself you’re Elizabeth Bennet and he’s Mr. Darcy, except there’s no grand declaration at the end.
There’s just silence.
It's one of those times where you answer Carlos' call so he doesn't think you're actively avoiding him.
You’re stretched out on your couch, half-listening as Carlos narrates the chaos of his day, his voice flitting between amusement and exaggerated frustration.
“…and then they tell me the setup’s wrong, again, so I had to sit there, listening to engineers argue for an hour. An hour! I’m telling you, I deserve a medal just for staying awake.”
“Tragic,” you reply, dry as ever. “Truly, you’re the unsung hero of motorsport.”
“Exactly!” he exclaims, his tone shifting as if you’ve validated some grand injustice. “Finally, someone understands.”
You hear the faint rustle of fabric, the soft creak of leather, and you know he’s probably leaning back in one of those expensive chairs he likes so much, the ones you tease him about.
It’s a scene you’ve imagined a thousand times—so familiar it borders on comforting.
“So,” he says, drawing out the word like he’s gearing up for something. “Guess where I am right now?”
“Let me think,” you say. “Some glamorous location with a ridiculous view and an overpriced minibar?”
“Close,” he says, and you can hear the grin tugging at his words. “I’m in Monaco.”
Your heart stumbles, just a little, just enough to be annoying, but you keep your voice casual. “Oh, the usual playground of the rich and famous. How very you.”
“Hey, it’s practically home,” he teases, and the warmth in his tone makes your stomach twist. “And speaking of home… aren’t you supposed to be here too? Isn’t that, like, the whole point of being Monegasque?”
You hesitate, just for a beat, but it’s long enough.
“…Wait,” he says, his voice sharpening with suspicion. “You’re not here, are you?”
“I’m in Italy,” you admit, aiming for breezy and landing somewhere closer to forced.
There’s a pause, the kind of silence that feels heavier than it should. “Italy?” he repeats, his voice carefully light, like he’s trying not to make something of it. “What are you doing there?”
“Just am,” you say, shrugging even though he can’t see it.
“Right,” he says slowly, and you can feel the weight of his thoughts pressing through the line.
He doesn’t push it, though, because Carlos is a lot of things, but he’s not the kind of person who asks questions he’s not ready to hear the answers to.
He shifts the conversation after that, steering it back to safer waters.
He tells you about a restaurant he tried, about the ridiculous amount of traffic on his way to the track.
You laugh in the right places, make snarky comments when it’s expected, and for a while, it feels almost normal.
But it’s not.
The photo lingers in the back of your mind like a ghost. Her hand on his chest, his easy grin, the effortless way they fit together.
You thought you could handle it. Thought you could keep things light and easy, pretend that the photo didn’t bother you, that you hadn’t spent an embarrassing amount of time dissecting every pixel like it held some kind of secret truth.
But now, sitting here, listening to him ramble on about his day like everything’s fine, you’re not so sure.
“Hey,” he says suddenly, breaking the flow of his own story. His voice is quieter now, more thoughtful. “You’ve been kind of… off lately. Is everything okay?”
Your breath catches, just for a second.
“I’m fine,” you say quickly, too quickly.
There’s a pause, just long enough for you to know he doesn’t believe you.
But he doesn’t call you on it. He just hums softly, like he’s letting you have this one.
The conversation winds down after that. He says something about an early meeting, and you use it as an excuse to end the call.
Carlos has a suspicion you’re avoiding him.
Or maybe, just maybe, Charles Leclerc has turned into some kind of shadowy mastermind, meticulously coordinating Carlos’s travel schedule just so he can keep you two apart.
It’s ridiculous, sure, but how else do you explain it?
When Carlos is in Monaco, you’re in Italy. When he’s in Italy, you’re in Mallorca. When he’s in Mallorca, you’ve suddenly jetted off to Switzerland, of all places.
It’s like you’ve taken on the role of “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?” with unsettling precision, a game he didn’t even know he was playing until now.
At first, he tried to laugh it off.
Told himself it was just bad timing, a string of coincidences that would eventually break in his favor.
But now? Now it feels deliberate. Calculated. And the worst part is, he knows you. Knows you well enough to feel the subtle shift in the air between you, like a storm quietly gathering on the horizon.
He’s tried to tell himself he’s overthinking it.
That you’ve just been busy, that your life doesn’t revolve around him and his schedule.
But the excuses are starting to ring hollow, even to his own ears.
The delayed responses to his texts. The way your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes when he finally does manage to catch you available for a call.
And now, sitting alone in his Monaco apartment, his phone resting on the coffee table in front of him like a lifeline you’ve left dangling just out of reach, Carlos can’t shake the weight that’s settled in his chest.
You’re pulling away.
The realization hits him like a punch to the gut, sudden and brutal.
He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, his hands running through his hair as he stares at the floor.
His heart feels heavy, tangled up in a mess of confusion and hurt and something he doesn’t want to name.
Why? That’s the question that keeps circling back.
Why are you doing this? Why now, when he feels like he’s finally starting to understand just how much you mean to him?
His mind races, replaying every interaction, every conversation, searching for the moment he might’ve pushed you away without realizing it.
Did he say something? Did he not say enough?
“Dios,” he mutters under his breath, his voice thick with frustration.
He doesn’t want to think it, doesn’t want to believe it, but the thought won’t leave him alone: maybe you’ve finally gotten tired of him.
The idea makes his chest ache, a dull, hollow pain that spreads until it feels like it’s consuming him.
He doesn’t want to lose you, doesn’t want to let go of the quiet moments, the shared laughs, the way you make him feel like he can just be for once.
But what can he do? He can’t force you to stay, can’t make you want him if you don’t.
He picks up his phone, his thumb hovering over your name in his messages and sends a message before he chickens out.
Carlos Where are you right now?
You Still hoping for that coffee date, huh?
Carlos Always
You …Paris
Carlos frowns at his phone, and you can almost hear the mental gears grinding in his head. Paris. Of course, it’s Paris. Because why wouldn’t it be?
Carlos Okay, I’m going there.
Your phone buzzes immediately, the boldness of his response catching you off guard.
You What?
You ARE YOU SERIOUS???
Carlos Yes.
You Carlos, you can’t just drop everything and fly to Paris.
Carlos Watch me.
You stare at your phone, torn between laughing and rolling your eyes. This is insane. You text him back, unsure if you want to be mad or amused.
You This is insane.
Carlos No, it’s determination.
You It’s bordering on stalker behavior.
Carlos Then stop running from me.
You I’m not running!
Carlos You’re in a different country every time I blink. Sounds like running.
You It’s called having a life.
Carlos A life that conveniently never overlaps with mine. Carlos Got it.
You Carlos, I swear to God if you actually come here
He doesn’t reply. The silence settles in, and you think that’s the end of it. Carlos is too sensible to drop everything and fly to Paris, right? Right?
Wrong.
Three hours later, you’re in your hotel room, scrolling through your phone while you regret the third croissant you scarfed down earlier, when you hear a knock at the door.
You frown, setting your phone down. You weren’t expecting anyone.
Another knock, this time more insistent.
Curious, you peek through the peephole. And there he is.
Carlos Sainz.
Standing in the hallway, casually leaning against the doorframe, holding a bouquet of flowers like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Your jaw drops.
You swing the door open before you can think better of it. “What are you doing here?”
Carlos shrugs, flowers in hand. “You said Paris.”
“That wasn’t an invitation!” you hiss, your eyes darting up and down the hallway as if expecting paparazzi to jump out from behind the elevator.
“Seemed like one to me,” he says, unfazed, like he’s the most logical person in the universe. “Besides, I brought flowers. That makes it okay.”
You stand there, staring at him, completely caught between laughing and slamming the door in his face. “This is… I don’t even have words.”
“‘Thank you’ works,” he suggests, stepping past you as if he has every right to be there, dropping onto the armchair with the ease of someone who’s been invited to stay.
“Excuse me-” you splutter, still holding the flowers, but too stunned to do anything with them.
Carlos stretches his legs out in front of him like he’s planning to stay a while. “Nice room. Cozy.”
“You can’t just-” You gesture wildly at him, still holding the flowers like they’re some kind of shield. “Carlos, this is insane!”
“What’s insane,” Carlos says, his voice slicing through the heavy silence, “is how hard you’ve been avoiding me.”
The words hit you like a sharp slap, cutting through the thin armor you’ve been clinging to.
You wince, his accusation landing squarely on the truth you’ve been trying so desperately to bury.
“I’m not avoiding you,” you say, but even as the words leave your mouth, they feel hollow.
A poor, pathetic attempt to cover up the obvious.
His eyes narrow. “Yes, you are,” he replies, his voice edged with a kind of raw frustration you’ve never heard from him before. “You’ve been avoiding me, pulling away like I’ve done something-”
He leans forward, his knuckles white from how hard he’s clenching them. “Did I do something? Tell me, please.”
You shake your head quickly, your chest tightening. “No, Carlos, you didn’t-”
“Don’t lie to me.” His voice cracks, rising just enough to make you flinch. There’s a tremor in his tone, something that tells you this isn’t just frustration- it’s pain.
Your mind races, heart pounding against your ribcage like it’s trying to escape. You can’t look at him.
You can’t meet his eyes because you know what you’ll see there: vulnerability. A rawness you’re too afraid to face.
“I told you, I’m not avoiding you,” you say again, but your voice wavers. The lie cracks as it leaves your lips.
Carlos exhales sharply, a bitter, humorless laugh escaping him. “Really? That’s what you’re going with? You’re not avoiding me? Because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell feels like you are.”
His voice lowers, softer now but no less piercing. “You’ve been ignoring my calls, dodging my texts. You won’t even look at me right now.”
He pauses, his voice dropping even further, his words so quiet they’re barely a whisper. “It’s like you’re disappearing right in front of me.”
“I’ve been busy,” you mumble weakly, knowing even as you say it how ridiculous it sounds.
“Busy,” he repeats, dragging the word out like it physically pains him to say it. “Right. Busy. Of course. That’s your excuse? That’s all you’ve got?”
You open your mouth to respond, but he steamrolls ahead, his voice rising in disbelief. “Do you think I’m stupid? Is that it? Like I haven’t noticed you pulling some kind of secret agent disappearing act every time I’m within a five-mile radius?”
“I’m not-”
“Oh, please!” he cuts you off, throwing his hands up dramatically. “When I was in Monaco, you were in Italy. When I was in Italy, you were in Mallorca. When I was in Mallorca, you went to Paris. I thought you cared about the planet!”
“I had a reason!” you defend weakly.
“Oh, sure. Let me guess. You were ‘busy.’” He uses air quotes this time, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Busy doing what? Hiding in the catacombs so I wouldn’t find you?”
“Carlos-”
“No, seriously! Are you Carmen Sandiego? Did you take on a secret job as an international spy and forget to tell me? Because at this point, that’s the only explanation that makes any sense!”
You can’t help it.
A small, nervous laugh escapes you, but it’s swallowed by the look he gives you, a mix of exasperation and something rawer, something vulnerable that wipes the humor from your face instantly.
“I’m serious,” he says, his voice quieter now, though no less intense. “Why are you doing this? What happened? Did I do something?”
“No!” you blurt out, the word rushing out of you like a reflex. “You didn’t do anything-”
“Then what?” he demands, stepping closer, his brows furrowed. “Why does it feel like every time I try to get close to you, you’re already halfway out the door? What is it? Did I say something? Did I forget something important? Did I-”
“Stop!” you snap, your voice louder than you intended, cutting him off mid-spiral. “You didn’t do anything, okay? It’s me!”
He freezes, his hands hovering in the air like he doesn’t know what to do with them. “What do you mean, it’s you?”
You take a deep, shaky breath, your heart pounding in your chest. “I can’t do this anymore, Carlos. I can’t keep pretending like this, like we, don’t mean more to me than it should.”
His brows knit together, confusion flashing across his face. “What are you talking about? What does that even mean?”
“It means I’m in love with you, okay?” you blurt out, the words tumbling out of you before you can stop them.
Your hands fly to your face, your voice shaking as you add, “Not as a joke. Not as a friend. Not in some ‘haha, Carlos is cute, what if’ kind of way. I’m in love with you, and it’s ruining me, and now I’ve said it, and- oh my God- I’m going to vomit-”
“Wait, what?” Carlos interrupts, his voice a mix of shock and something dangerously close to hope.
“You heard me!” you snap, your hands still covering your face as you pace in frantic little circles. “I’m in love with you, and now I’ve ruined everything, and you’re going to freak out and leave, and then I’ll have to fake my death and move to Antarctica and befriend a penguin colony-”
“Will you stop?” he cuts in, grabbing your arm to stop your pacing. “Just- stop for a second, okay?”
You yank your arm back instinctively, shaking your head. “No, I can’t stop! Because if I stop, I’m going to have to look at you, and if I look at you, I’m going to see the exact moment you decide this is too much, and you walk out of my life forever, and I’m not emotionally equipped for that-”
“Would you listen to me?” he shouts, his voice startling you into silence.
His hands fall to his sides, his eyes locking on yours with a desperate kind of intensity. “I’m not walking out of your life, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Jesus, do you really think so little of me?”
Your lip wobbles, your voice breaking. “You don’t get it. You’ll leave.”
He lets out a laugh. Sharp, exasperated, and a little unhinged. “I’m in love with you, you absolute idiot.”
You freeze. Your brain is refusing to process what he just said. “What?”
“I said I’m in love with you,” he repeats, louder this time, as if yelling the words will hammer them into your skull.
“Have been since the first night, I think. Do you honestly believe I’d fly halfway across the world, lose sleep, and spam you with dog pictures because I don’t love you?”
You stare at him, mouth agape. “You- what?”
“Yes!” he throws his hands up, pacing like he’s been holding this in for years and it’s physically painful to let it out. “God, how do you not see it? I thought I was being so obvious!”
Your brain is scrambling for any coherent thought, but instead, all you manage is: “Then who was that girl?”
Carlos blinks at you, mid-rant. “What girl?”
You fumble for your phone like you’ve been waiting for this exact moment to catch him red-handed.
Opening Instagram with trembling fingers, you shove the screen in his face, pointing at the offending photo. “This girl. The one on the yacht!”
He squints at the screen, then back at you, his brow furrowing.
“That’s my cousin, Marina.”
Your heart stops. “What?”
“My cousin,” he says again, slower this time, as though you might be hard of hearing. “She’s married to a guy named Tomás. I was literally holding her bag while she FaceTimed her kids.”
You gape at him, the ground beneath you threatening to swallow you whole. “Oh.”
Carlos stares at you, his mouth falling open. Then it clicks. “Oh my God. Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I wasn’t-”
“You were ghosting me because you thought I was on a yacht with my cousin?” he demands, his voice climbing into incredulous territory.
“It looked bad!” you squeak, the heat in your face making it impossible to look him in the eye. “I didn’t know she was your cousin! She was all- touchy!”
“She was showing me pictures of her dog!” he cries, like he can’t believe he’s having this conversation.
You clutch your head, feeling both humiliated and mildly hysterical. “I’m an idiot. I’m the biggest idiot alive.”
“No arguments there,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair, then fixing you with a look that’s somewhere between amused and exasperated. “You honestly thought I’d just…what? Post my side chick on Instagram for you to see?”
“I didn’t know what to think!” you snap, burying your face in your hands. “I panicked, okay? My brain spiraled!”
Carlos lets out a disbelieving laugh, pacing a tight circle like he’s trying to figure out how he got here. “So instead of asking me, you just…decided to ignore me? For weeks?”
“I said I panicked!” you groan, peeking at him through your fingers, mortified.
He stares at you for a beat, then pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath in Spanish. “You’re lucky I love you, you know that?”
Your heart lurches, but you’re still too mortified to fully process it. “You can’t possibly still love me after this.”
“Oh, I can,” he says dryly, crossing his arms. “But I’m definitely telling Marina about this. She’s going to think it’s hilarious.”
“No!” you cry, lunging forward and grabbing his arm. “Carlos, I swear to God, if you tell your cousin-”
He grins, all smug amusement now, his earlier frustration melting away. “I’ll think about keeping it a secret. On one condition.”
“What condition?” you ask warily.
“You stop ghosting me,” he says simply, his voice softening as his eyes meet yours. “And maybe…start trusting me a little more?”
You let out a shaky breath, the weight of your own stupidity pressing down on you. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, looking at the floor. “I really messed this up.”
“Yeah, you did,” he agrees, but there’s no bite to his words. He tilts your chin up so you have no choice but to look at him. “But you can make it up to me. Dinner tomorrow?”
You nod, a small, embarrassed smile tugging at your lips. “Okay.”
“And for the record,” he adds, smirking, “if you ever ghost me again, I’m showing up with a mariachi band.”
You groan, shoving him lightly as he laughs, but you can’t help the warmth spreading through your chest. Somehow, against all odds, he’s still yours.
---
@lilorose25 @widow-cevans @mderby03 @zyklion @papichulomacy @irisesinthegarden @leclercdream @moonvr @ilovemeni @iamdedsthingz @shwnirwin @softhecreator @claimingharrystigertattoo @5sospenguinqueen @wadupppdylan-blog @waytooobsessedwithlife @weekendlusting
437 notes · View notes
dreamwritesimagines · 2 days ago
Text
Sunshine [14] - Shelter
AN: My loves, thank you so so much for your wonderful support and lovely comments and HCs! ❤️ You’re amazing! ❤️
I hope you like this as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! 🥰
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader
Summary: Some storms lead one to their shelter.
Word Count: 3758
CW: Explicit language, angst, adult themes MDNI
Series Masterlist
Tumblr media
Theo had definitely taken after you when it came to making friends, and you were beginning to think that it had something to do with the fact that you both could speak for hours nonstop once you found someone to listen to you.
And Laura was apparently no exception.
“…And she does speak but only sometimes!” Theo told you as you helped him put his clothes into the small luggage so that you could wash them at the weekend. “And she says Sir Bartholomeow is nice to her too, which is so weird because I thought I was the only one he was nice to! Mommy, how did you know we could be friends?”
You grinned at him. “Moms have superpowers Bean.”
“Do you know um—do you know if Sir Bartholomeow and Cheeto and Popcorn will ever be friends?”
You hissed in a breath, scrunching up your face.
“I wouldn’t hold my breath on that sweetheart,” you said. “Cats and fish aren’t known for being good friends.”
“Maybe we could get a catfish.”
“Bean, that’s not…” you tried to hold back your laughter. “That’s not how names work in the animal world.”
“Sheepdog get along well with sheep,” he pointed out and you smiled.
“Good point, my little genius,” you said, ruffling his hair. “But think about it this way, do you think tiger sharks get along well with tigers?”
Theo thought for a moment. “I don’t think they spend enough time to get along well, one of them is in the ocean and the other one is on land.”
You nodded your head with a laugh, zipping his luggage up.
“Alright,” you said. “Everything seems to be in order, so we can—” you were cut off when you turned to find Laura by the door, half hiding behind the doorframe. You smiled at her softly, and waved at her.
“Hi Laura,” you said before you introduced yourself and she eyed you in complete silence, shifting her weight from one foot to other.
“Laura, this is my mom!” Theo said with a bright smile. “She’s awesome and the best mom in the world!”
You could feel the happiness filling you with warmth in your chest as you squeezed his shoulder in an assuring matter.
“Theo told me all about you,” you told her and her eyes flitted over to Theo before looking up at you again. “Did you like Cheeto and Popcorn? Theo says you’ll look after them for the weekend.”
A small smile twitched her lips before she nodded her head quietly.
“That’s so kind of you,” you told her. “They’ll definitely be happy to have you to keep them company.”
“And they can keep you company,” Theo added. “That way you won’t get bored while I’m away!”
“I’m sure Laura can spend time with her other friends while you’re not here, Bean.”
Laura stole a look at you and shook her head for a moment, a gesture so subtle that you couldn’t even be sure whether you’d seen it or not as if it was an automatic response. You tilted your head in confusion but then the thought hit you; Laura still didn’t have any friends other than Theo. Theo blinked up at you, fixing his glasses and you felt a pang in your stomach, then smiled at Laura.
“Laura,” you said. “Would you like to spend the weekend with Theo and I?”
 Theo gasped, a huge smile lighting up his face and Laura’s eyes snapped up to yours before she looked over her shoulder, biting inside her cheek.
“Ask your father, but he knows me,” you said and turned to Theo. “You can go with her, Bean. I’ll wait you two in the car, okay?”
“Mr. Logan isn’t here mommy, he’s away on a mission.”
Oh, that explained his absence.
“I see,” you said. “Is it okay if I call him then, Laura?”
Laura nodded fervently and you grabbed your phone out of your pocket.
“I’ll be right back,” you told them and stepped out of the room to find Logan’s name on your contacts. Your finger hovered over the screen, your heart skipping a beat before you touched the name and took the phone to your ear.
“Hey,” Logan’s voice reached you and you felt a smile pulling at your lips before you frowned to yourself. “Uh…accidental call?”
“Intentional, strange as it sounds,” you said. “Are you busy—”
“No!” he answered too fast. “I’m not, at all.”
“Aren’t you on a mission?”
“It can wait, I can—uh, I can come back.”
You repressed your smile.
“No need for that,” you said. “So as it turns out, Laura still doesn’t have any friends.”
“She has Theo.”
“She only has Theo,” you corrected him. “Which is why I called. Is it cool if Laura stays with us this weekend?”
“What?”
“Yeah I mean, she will apparently be alone while Theo is with me, and I don’t want…” you trailed off. “I don’t want her to feel alone. So?”
There was silence on the other line and you looked at the screen to check whether he was still there;
“Logan?”
“I’m here,” he said. “Sure—I mean sure, but will it be okay for you?”
“Yeah I don’t mind,” you said. “I’ll drop her off on Sunday then?”
“I can pick her up if I’m back by then—”
“It’s fine,” you said. “I can just drop her off at the institute, no worries.”
A momentary silence fell upon you and you cleared your throat.
“Well okay then,” you said after a beat. “Be careful on your mission, whatever it is.”
“You too.”
You pulled your brows together. “Careful on my mission?”
“No just…be careful in general?” he asked and you bit back a smile.
“Sure,” you said. “See you later I guess.”
With that, you hung up the phone and made your way back to the room to peek your head in.
“Good news, you’re staying with us for the weekend,” you told Laura who gave you a bright smile and Theo jumped in his spot with giddiness. “But I’m going to need one of you to carry Cheeto and Popcorn’s tank for me. We can’t possibly leave them here for the weekend.”
                                                       *
You and Theo had your traditions when it came to the weekend, especially since Theo had started attending Professor Xavier’s school. You would have a picnic and feed the ducks by the lake, go home for dinner and on Saturday morning you’d have breakfast with Jamie and Nik and Julie. Laura was still incredibly shy around strangers, but she seemed to be more comfortable around you now because you didn’t push her at all. She and Theo spent the whole breakfast playing with Nik and Jamie’s cat while you had coffee with Jamie, Julie and Nik in the kitchen.
“It’s a trauma response,” Jamie told you. “Very common. Do you know anything about the lab she was raised in?”
“Not really.”
“That’s so fucked up,” Julie whispered, shaking her head. “I can’t imagine how scared she must have been. For years.”
“Is she seeing a therapist?”
“I doubt it,” you said. “I mean I’m sure they’re trying their hardest at the institute but—”
“She needs an actual therapist,” Nik insisted and turned to Jamie. “Can you make that happen?”
“I can ask around in the hospital,” he said. “We’ll need Logan to sign the papers though, if he’s the only parent she has—”
“Logan would be okay with it,” you said. “I’m not sure about Laura though. She grew up in a terrible lab, I doubt she’d be comfortable around doctors.”
“Home therapy?”
“That sounds like a better idea.”
“Poor baby,” Julie pouted. “I want to go and hug her.”
“I actually think Hayes also knows someone,” Jamie said. “How are things between you by the way?”
“Oh it’s fine.”
“Still taking it slow?”
You sipped your coffee and nodded your head.
“He’s very sweet,” you said. “Which is exactly what I need right now.”
“Did you know you can rent magnet cranes?” Julie asked, making all of you turn to her. “The ones they use for construction sites and stuff?”
You blinked a couple of times. “Julie?”
“Yes?”
“How do you know this information?”
“Google.”
“You googled whether they rent magnet cranes?” you asked her and she shrugged her shoulders.
“Just in case you want to fuck with your ex.”
“Jesus—”
“You do realize that they don’t accept driver’s license for those?” Nik asked while Jamie hid his smile behind his hand. “Technically speaking, you’d need to get a crane operator license.”
Julie waved a hand in the air. “Says who?”
“Says OSHA, Julie!”
“Listen, I could get that license,” Julie said. “I’m good with stick—”
“Your sex life is irrelevant to this conversation.”
“Nik.”
“Just saying.”
“Guys,” you interrupted them while Jamie let out a laugh. “Jules, you’re not getting a crane operator license just to mess with Logan.”
“I need a hobby nowadays.”
“Being a crane operator is not a hobby.”
“Not with that attitude it’s not,” Julie muttered and you shook your head, then heaved a sigh.
“There’s no need for that,” you said. “Seriously. I’m completely over him.”
Jamie raised his brows. “Are you though?”
“Yeah,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. “Yeah, of course. Trust me, I’m so over Logan.”
                                                *
On Sunday morning, you decided to bake some cookies before Theo and Laura woke up. You figured it would be a nice surprise for them and Laura could take them to school when you dropped her off in the afternoon. You had become very used to being silent in the kitchen so that you wouldn’t wake Theo up, but you had forgotten how Logan had mentioned Laura had all his abilities.
Including hearing even the slightest noise.
When Laura stepped into the kitchen in her pajamas, you looked over your shoulder and shot her a small smile.
“Good morning!” you said. “Sorry if I woke you, but I figured you’d want cookies.”
Laura stole a look at the kitchen, still rubbing her eye before her gaze went back to you.
“Would you like to help me?”
She blinked a couple of times, then nodded and made her way to you, still slightly skittish in her steps. You held up the bowl.
“So I’m guessing you like chocolate chip cookies,” you said. “But today we’re also putting rainbow sprinkles on them. I’m going to roll them into balls and you’ll dip them in sprinkles, does that work?”
Laura nodded her head and you rolled a piece of cookie dough in your palm, then gave it to her. She carefully dipped it in sprinkles and looked up at you with curious eyes as if asking you if she did it right, and you gave her a proud smile.
“Oh my God, you didn’t tell me you used to bake!” you told her. “That’s like, chef quality Laura. Surely you did it before?”
A smile lit up her face and she shook her head vigorously, and you gasped.
“You haven’t?” you asked. “And you’re this good already? Oh you have great talent then, it took me so much time to do it right when I was first learning but look at you!”
Laura’s smile widened and she took a step closer to you as if excited to do the next one, so you rolled another piece of dough before putting it into her palm.
“My favorite one is mint chocolate chip cookies,” you told her. “I have been meaning to try pumpkin ones though, have you ever had them?”
Laura shook her head.
“I had them at a café,” you said. “I feel like they would go well with—wait, Laura! We should make hot chocolate as well, do you like hot chocolate?”
Laura thought for a moment, then shrugged her shoulders, biting inside her cheek.
“Have you ever had hot chocolate before?”
She shook her head and you felt your heart clench before you took a deep breath.
“I’m about to blow your mind,” you told her before you washed your hands and grabbed the milk from the fridge, then poured it into a saucepan and put it on the stove. “So technically speaking, it’s not the healthiest thing in the world but do we care?”
A small giggle escaped from her lips before she shook her head.
“Exactly,” you pointed out. “Thank you. Would you like to sit down?”
She shrugged her shoulders before climbing on a chair and you gave her a piece of dough for her to dip in sprinkles.
“So there’s this diner right around the corner,” you told her. “They make great pancakes, and also their hot chocolate is so good, so I actually asked them what they use and bought the same thing. The diner I work at, our hot chocolate didn’t use to be so good until I made them change it as well. Our cook makes a great pie though, I’ll bring you some the next time I drop Theo off. Have you tried apple pie?”
Laura nodded her head.
“It’s so good, isn’t it?” you asked and took the milk off the stove before you poured it into a mug, put the hot chocolate powder in and grabbed the pack of marshmallows. You put a bunch of them into the mug, then put it in front of Laura.
“Ta daa,” you said. “Let me know if you like it or not.”
Laura blinked a couple of times before she took a sip of it, then her eyes snapped up to yours, surprise written all over her face. You tilted your head.
“Good?”
She nodded her head again, taking another huge sip and you turned to roll another piece of cookie dough in your palm before you heard her small voice.
“…Thank you.”
You could feel the smile pulling at your lips and you turned your head to look at her.
“Anytime honey,” you said, your voice soft. “Thank you for helping me with the cookies. You and I will make a great team, hm?”
                                          *
The rest of the weekend went in a breeze. After dropping Laura off at the institute, you and Theo returned home and spent the rest of the night watching Theo’s favorite documentaries with his favorite snacks. On Monday morning you dropped him off at the institute as well and couldn’t help but notice that Logan wasn’t around, but you figured the mission was taking longer than he expected.
When you got home from the diner, you were way too tired to even move so you just heated up the food you took home from the diner, and was dozing on the couch when the sound of your phone vibrating on the coffee table snapped you out of your nap and you took a deep breath, then rubbed at your eyes to grab your phone and answered it.
“Hello?”
“Hey stranger,” Hayes’s voice reached you, making you smile. “Bad timing?”
“No no, it’s not,” you said, clearing your throat. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much, I’m on a short break,” he said. “How was the weekend with Theo and his friend?”
“Oh it was wonderful!” you said. “I baked her cookies and she thanked me! I take that as a good sign.”
“If there are any leftover cookies, I volunteer as tribute.”
You grinned. “Maybe a couple,” you said. “I can bring them tomorrow if you’re going to drop by the diner.”
“This is the best news I’ve received today,” he said, making you giggle.
“Slow day?”
“I wish.”
“Aw I’m sorry,” you said and heaved a sigh. “Are you okay?”
“Trying to be,” he said. “But hey, uh…I wanted to ask you, what is your opinion on charity galas?”
“That I don’t have the money to even look at one as I walk past it.”
He let out a chuckle. “Would you like to?”
“What?”
“So the board of the hospital is planning this gala for the children in need,” he said. “And I have two tickets, so I was hoping maybe you’d be interested.”
You blinked a couple of times and sat up straighter, rubbing at your eyes again.
“Hayes—”
“If it gets boring we can just leave.”
“No, that’s not it,” you said with a shake of your head. “It’s just…I’m not sure if I’m a—a gala person.”
“What is a gala person?”
“Someone who has been to one before, maybe?”
“That’s nonsense,” he said. “Come on. I can’t promise it’ll be fun, but I can promise I will make it fun.”
You thought for a moment, then bit at your nail.
“And you’re sure you want to take me there?”
“What kind of a question is that?” he asked with a laugh. “Of course! And I think Jamie will be there too by the way, if my presence isn’t enough to convince you.”
“Oh is that how you’re going to play this?”
“I never said I was above bribery and guilt tripping.” You could hear his grin. “Is it working?”
“Maybe.”
“I can turn it up if you’d like,” he teased you. “Come on, you can’t possibly leave your friend without a date at a gala—”
“Fine,” you said, a giggle climbing up your throat. “Okay. If you’re sure.”
“I am,” he said and you opened your mouth to ask when the gala would be but the knock on the door made you turn your head. You sat up straighter in the couch, then rubbed at your eyes.
“Hayes, is it okay if I call you back?”
“Sure thing,” he said and you hung up, then made your way to the door. You looked through the peephole, your heart skipping a beat as you did and opened the door with a confused frown.
“Logan?”
He was still in his superhero uniform, the cowl pushed back behind his head and even though there were no visible wounds on him, he still had blood on him. He was slouching, leaning on his arm which was against the wall and something in his gaze was so haunted that it made your stomach flip. His eyes searched yours frantically as if trying to make sure you were in fact there and he swallowed thickly.
“Can I come in?”
“Uh…sure,” you said, stepping aside so that he could go inside and you closed the door behind him, then made your way to the living room with him following you like a lost puppy.
“You okay?” you asked even though you knew the answer, and he paused for a moment before he nodded quietly.
“I just…” he motioned at you. “Needed to see you.”
“Why?”
He shook his head slightly and you licked your lips, then took a deep breath.
“I think I still have some of your clothes,” you said. “I’d been meaning to return them but uh—if you want to take a shower or anything, you can. All that blood on you has to feel uncomfortable.”
He nodded again, swaying from one foot to other and you offered him a small smile.
“I’ll give you a towel, come on,” you said and walked to the hallway with him on your tail. After grabbing his clothes from the bottom of your closet, you handed them to him with a towel and he made his way into the bathroom while you went back to the living room, incredibly confused by what tonight was turning into.  
When he got out of the shower and made his way to the living room, you were pouring hot water into two cups and you ripped the package of herbal tea bags to put them into cups before walking to the living room as well. His hair was still wet but there was no trace of dried blood on him anymore, and he looked so handsome sitting there that you stared at him for a second, then tried to snap out of it.
“There you go,” you said, putting the cup in front of him then cradled yours with your hand. “It’s sleepy time tea, supposed to calm you down or whatever. Julie recommended it, I’m not sure if it would work on you but…”
“Thanks,” he said curtly, reaching out to take the cup into his hand, his eyes cast on the floor and you thought for a moment.
“So uh…hard mission?”
Logan nodded his head in silence and you cleared your throat.
“Is everyone okay?”
He nodded again and you shifted your weight, leaning back to the table in the middle of the living room before taking a sip of your tea.
“What happened?”
“He—” Logan paused, then shook his head and put the cup back on the small coffee table beside him. “The guy fucked with my head.”
“How?”
That made Logan fall into silence again and you raised your brows, then heaved a sigh.
“You know what Logan, I’m really trying here,” you told him. “I mean I get that you’re from a time where people didn’t believe in therapy or anything, but this whole too tough for emotions macho guy bullshit is getting tiring and—”
“Take me back.”
His voice was so soft, so quiet that it took you by surprise and you pulled your brows together, not even sure that you heard him right.
“What?” you asked and his jaw clenched, his gaze still fixed on the floor.
“Take me back.”
Your heart started pacing in your chest while you gawked at him.
“Logan…”
“I don’t—” he trailed off and shook his head, letting out a breath. “I don’t even have to touch you. I’ll stand outside your door the whole night like a fucking guard dog if you want me to, just…take me back.”
You could feel the warmth spreading through your system and he reached out to gently pull you to himself, wrapping an arm around your waist before he pressed his forehead on your stomach. You raked your fingernails through his hair, softly scratching at his scalp and his arm around you tightened, making you heave a sigh. You knew you were supposed to say something, anything but—
This felt way too peaceful.
“We’re going to have that conversation later, but….” you paused for a moment. “Would you like to stay the night?”
He nodded without lifting his head, your fingers still brushing through his hair and you bit inside your cheek, deep in thought.
Great.
As it turned out, Jamie was right
You were, in fact, not over Logan.
403 notes · View notes
cryptwrites · 1 day ago
Text
It started as a joke.
A few of us, sitting around a cheap card table in my crumbling apartment, brainstorming ways to pay rent without actually working. The scam was simple: create a fake religion, prey on the gullible, and rake in some easy cash.
We called it The Order of Cythra, a name pulled out of thin air by my roommate, Toby, who thought it sounded “cryptic and legit.” We scribbled down some nonsense about Cythra being the god of renewal and hidden wisdom, created a website, and bought some dollar-store candles for the “rituals.”
At first, it was harmless fun. A few Reddit posts here, some vague TikToks there, and suddenly we had people donating. Not much—just twenty bucks here and there—but enough to cover bills and groceries.
Then things got... strange.
It started with the emails. Testimonials flooded our inbox from people claiming Cythra had spoken to them in dreams. A woman wrote about how her chronic migraines disappeared after chanting one of our made-up prayers. Another claimed their barren garden had suddenly burst into bloom.
We laughed it off at first. Toby even joked that we should hire a PR agent.
But then the dreams started.
It was always the same. I stood in a vast, desolate wasteland beneath a broiling, blood-red sky. A towering figure loomed in the distance, its body shifting between forms—human, deer, shadow. Its voice echoed in my head, not in words, but in feelings: hunger, anger, and something worse.
One night, I woke up to find the word Cythra carved into my arm, not by my own hand but by something else. I confronted Toby and the others, but their faces were pale. They were worried, like I had done something to them.
We tried to shut it down. Deleted the website, pulled down the TikToks, and stopped all donations. But the followers didn’t go away. If anything, they grew more fervent. They showed up at my apartment, chanting in unison, their eyes glassy and strange. They called me High Priest.
Then the first miracle happened.
One of the followers, a man in his sixties, collapsed on my doorstep during one of their late-night vigils. His heart had stopped. I panicked and reached out to him instinctively, yelling for someone to call 911. The moment my hand touched his chest, I felt a searing heat shoot through my arm. His body jolted, and his eyes snapped open.
The followers fell to their knees.
I slammed the door, trembling, my palm still burning. When I looked, there was a black symbol etched into my skin—a sigil I’d never seen before but somehow understood.
Cythra was real.
The days that followed were a blur. The followers proclaimed me as their leader, and no matter how much I tried to resist, they wouldn’t leave me alone. More people came to me for healing, and each time, the sigil on my palm burned brighter. I didn’t know what I was doing, but it always worked. Broken bones knit together. Tumors withered away. One woman even claimed her blind son could see again.
But with every miracle, I felt a piece of myself slipping away.
The dreams became more vivid. Cythra spoke now, its voice a low rumble that made my teeth ache. It demanded more worshippers, more faith, more sacrifices.
One night, I woke to find Toby standing over my bed, a knife in his hand and a vacant look in his eyes. He muttered something about “offering blood to Cythra.” I fought him off, but he slit his own throat before I could stop him. The followers found his body the next morning and cheered.
They said his death would “bring Cythra fully into our world.”
I tried to run. Packed a bag and fled to the nearest bus station. But as soon as I stepped outside, I saw them— hundreds of followers, all chanting in unison, their faces lit by the flickering of candles. The air was thick with the smell of sulfur.
The ground beneath their feet began to crack.
The last thing I remember before everything went black was the sky splitting open, and a monstrous, shifting form descending from the heavens.
Now I sit on a blackened throne in a temple I never built, my body barely my own. The sigil on my palm has spread, covering my arms, chest, and face. I can no longer close my eyes without seeing its form, nor speak without its words spilling from my mouth like black, molded bile.
I am the High Priest of Cythra, a forgotten god reborn through my foolishness.
And I know, deep down, that when it is finished with this world, it will consume me too.
You started a scam religion for a quick buck. You begin to panic when your fake god was actually a real forgotten one awakened from new worshippers, declared you it's high priest, and granted you the power of healing.
14K notes · View notes
milkteabinniechan · 2 days ago
Text
♡Tongue in Cheek - Yang Jeongin
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY MEMBERSHIP//M.LIST
pairing: CEO jeongin x fem! reader
summary: your boss is up for a big promotion. There's just one problem, he told his boss that he's married. So he asks you to be his wife for just one night. But now this cold CEO is seeing you in a whole new light.
warnings: power dynamics, tooth-aching fluff, angst, kissing, did I mention fluff????
Jeongin slid a few papers around his desk. “Something you need?” He snapped, his tone exhausted and annoyed. His patience was wearing thin lately. You had noticed immediately, the way he moved around the office like every corner and seam of his heavy armor was starting to crack. He was stressed, he was nervous. You suppose that's why you agreed to this dinner in the first place. To help him out. That was the only reason you had agreed to be his “fake wife.”
“Sorry to bother you, Sir. But Mr. Kwon’s assistant called again to confirm that you- um, that we would be attending the dinner tomorrow evening.” You kept your eyes downcast, studying every fiber of his office carpet. A deep, intimidating red color that filled the entire room like an inferno. It's as if he wanted everyone that walked into his office to know that they were walking into Hell.
“Tell her that we'll be there at eight sharp. I want you dressed nicely. Take my card and buy yourself something expensive.” Jeongin's hand stretched out to reveal a heavy platinum credit card weaved between his fingers. You took a step forward but hesitated, your mouth parting slightly. Jeongin's eyes flashed up to you, his head still hanging down. “No arguments, just do it.”
And that was that. Because if Yang Jeongin told you to do something, then goddamn it, you better do it.
The night of the dinner was chiller than you had anticipated. The sun was going down sooner and sooner and cold air swept you up and pulled you inside of Jeongin's luxury car. It was warm inside with plush seats that hugged you better than your own mother. Was this what money could buy? You casually glanced at Jeongin's hand gripping the expensive leather of the steering wheel. He was wearing a shiny silver bracelet and a large, heavy looking ring on his middle finger. He had told you once that the ring was lucky and he would only wear it when he really, really needed it. Jeongin kept his eyes fixed on the road, focused and determined even in his driving. But soon his deep voice cut through the building tension. “Mr. Kwon is the man to impress, the man to be, the man to beat. But he is put off by the fact that I never settled down to start a family. He thinks it's abnormal for a man my age to not have someone.”
You kept your mouth closed tight. You agreed with Jeongin's boss, it was abnormal. Jeongin was young, attractive, and successful. So why hadn't he found someone? As if sensing your train of thought, he cocked his head towards you and raised an eyebrow. “It's not like I don't fuck, I just don't have time for a relationship.”
A relationship. He said that word like it was poison on his tongue. The two of you pulled into the long driveway of a sprawling manor you had only seen in magazines. The path was lined with lights and led you both to a towering front door that was painted the most intense red you had ever seen. You were starting to understand where Jeongin was getting his business inspiration. You stepped inside to see dinner already being set.
Five course meal. Five courses. There were nights when all you could afford was a cup of ramen and a few beers. This was how the other half lived. Mr. Kwon and his wife were both incredibly gorgeous. To look at them too long almost felt greedy. Mr. Kwon commented on Jeongin's cufflinks and his wife absolutely adored your dress. You found it easy to converse with her. A simple, sweet woman who meant well but was so detached from the real world that she was living in her own little fairytale. Jeongin and you had discussed a background story for how you met and what your wedding day was like in case anyone had asked. And to no one's surprise, Mrs. Kwon wanted to know every detail.
After a few glasses of champagne, you found yourself gushing about Jeongin. You spoke about his gentle demeanor when his mother or siblings call. You talked about his smell and the first time you knew you were in love with him.
Jeongin sat back in his chair and watched you. He watched you diverge from the previously discussed storyline that the two of you agreed on. He listened as you spoke honestly about your feelings and your ambitions and goals for the future. He felt a clench in his chest that he hadn't felt in years. You seemed to almost have a glow around you when you spoke. As if the roof opened up to let moonlight pour down over your entire body. And the dress you chose. Jeongin finally allowed himself a moment to admire and memorize every curve and dip of your waist and legs. He could feel his $300 slacks growing tighter by the second. Mr. Kwon stood from the table and announced that the men should adjourn to the other room for cigars and brandy. Jeongin let out a sigh of relief and quickly stood to follow the rest of the men but before he could leave you grabbed his hand and kissed his cheek. “Miss you already.” You said with a smile loud enough that the rest of the guests could hear. You gave him a quick wink before dropping his hand and returning to the dinner table.
“You got a good one there, Yang.” Mr. Kwon let out a large puff of smoke from his cigar. “Don't fuck this up. She's good for you.”
Jeongin fiddled with his own cigar, still unlit. He weaved it between his fingers. “Yes, Sir.” His mind was a million miles away. You have worked for him for three years now. He still remembers the day he hired you. The outfit you wore, the messy bun with frazzled strands of hair falling in front of your eyes. You were so nervous. But you were determined. He recognized that fire in your eyes. It was the same fire that burned inside him.
“Thank you for tonight. You were very convincing.” Jeongin had driven you back to your one bedroom apartment. You stood in the single step in front of your front door. You were actually eye-level with him now, your face just inches from his. “You're welcome. It was fun.” You confessed. You liked being a part of his world. Jeongin cleared his throat and smiled. An awkward, unsure smile that you weren't used to seeing. He gave you a polite bow and turned towards his car to leave. You felt a heaviness pull at your heart as he started to walk away. But before he got to the street he stopped. He turned on his heels to face you once again, his unsure smile now transforming into a devilish smirk. “The night isn't over. Technically, you're still my wife.” He took a few steps towards you. “Kiss me.”
The heaviness in your chest now felt like a balloon soaring high as you ran towards him without hesitation. You jumped into his arms and he held your leg with one hand and used his other arm to wrap around your waist, holding you close to him. Your lips crashed into his clumsily. Your mouths falling over each other until you slowly found a rhythm. It was the most romantic moment of your entire life and you never wanted it to stop. You kissed him over and over again. Some were slow and lingering while others were needy and impatient. You kissed him. Because if Yang Jeongin tells you to do something, then goddamn it, you better do it.
taglist: @simply-trash5 @sugawhaaa @trixiekaulitz @chrizzztopherbang @cassidymb121 @roanns-posts @staysinbloom @yaorzu-blog @bubblebisk @cotton-candycloudz @beautyinhypnosis @domicaru @strawberry31 @slxtmeri @newhope8 @tinyelfperson @dandelions-143 @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @msauthor @fun-fanfics @ell0thebell @stephanieeeyang @juskz @kimahreummm @readr1221 @kayleefriedchicken @ovulatingrn @hwnglixho @darthmaddie25 @queen-in-the-shadows @itgirlalisaa @miinhoo @greyaia @chanchansgirly @skzleeknowcore @skz-smut-reader @thatisrankharry @hearts4yawnzzn @jchotch726 @cherricola-star @minh0scat @kibs-and-bits @minhosgirlposts @firelordtsuki @softkisshyunjin
329 notes · View notes
lamb-teaa · 20 hours ago
Text
` Transactional Tantrum
Tumblr media
` pairing: Sylus x fem!reader
` tags: fluff. romcom. silly shenanigans. filthy rich Sylus. chaotic!reader cuz we all want to be spoiled and provided by him don't lie 🫵🏻
` teaa's note: where can i get a husband like Sylus (⁠ ⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⁠⌢⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀⁠)
Tumblr media
People hail him as a powerful man amongst all existing factions in the N109 Zone, yet even someone like Sylus isn't immune to the dread of a tedious business dealings.
Don't get him wrong, it is practically his job for a lack of better words but you can't blame the man for nearly dying out of boredom at the moment.
Ping!
A sudden notification from his phone tore his attention away from his yammering business partners. Sylus briefly glanced down at his phone, brows furrowed in confusion when he read the transaction alert message on his screen.
'Ten million was charged to your Credit Card at Summers Jewelry'
Sylus didn't even have the chance to ponder over the sudden message further when he was suddenly startled by another barrage of notifications - yes, plural notifications.
'Four million was charged to your Credit Card at M&Hs'
'Six million was charged to your Credit Card at Nebulas'
'Eight million was charged to your Credit Card at Zapple'
Despite the deadpan expression on his face and his usual nonchalance silence, the slightest quirk of his brows were enough to give away his bewildered reaction to seeing such random transaction alerts on his card.
He doesn't recall making any on-hold purchases and certainly didn't give the twins any permission to spend any after the last time they went all out using his card in the past.
Which means only one person would be bold enough to overspend his money on a whim like this and his eyes instantly flickered in amusement when another transaction message came through his phone.
'Thirteen million was charged to your Credit Card at Abyssal Attire'
Seems like a certain kitten is on a wild spending spree.
Observing the transaction alerts, Sylus let out a low chuckle, ignoring the strange looks from his business partners who continued on with their discussion.
His sole attention now was you - his lovely kitten spending all his money with reckless abandon.
As his thumb hovered over the icon of your picture on his phone, he couldn't help but grin at the large purchases you made - given the fact you had always been reluctant to spend on his card before despite the countless times he had reassured you that he wants you to use his money to your heart's content.
Sylus, without a doubt, always wants the best for you. Even when you nagged him on buying such expensive gifts before, yet that will never stop him from spoiling you rotten.
Though.. he wondered what sparked this sudden influx of random purchases this first time around?
With his interest now piqued towards you, Sylus strode out of the conference room without a care in the world, especially when said discussion had led to no satisfying result on his end, thus he neither bothered about the frustrated and flabbergasted looks of the businessmen as he made his way along the hallways of the building.
Luke and Kieran, who's been by his side the entire meeting, automatically followed their boss out. Both brothers exchange curious looks from behind their masks with a shrug. Though they had great knowledge that only two things could spring their boss out of his usual routine - an unexpected ambush or well, you.
And it seemed like they were right on the nose as they watched Sylus’s thumb pressed onto the screen of his phone before bringing the device close to his ear, an amused yet genuine smile curled on their fierce leader's lips as he called out your name.
"Is it just me or a certain kitten is behaving quite impulsively with her spending today?” His voice held a steady yet teasing affection tone, his mind already picturing your smug expression at overspending his money. “This is a first, sweetie.”
"Oh look who finally remembered me!" Your voice snapped, the snarky and sarcastic response made Sylus pause in his track in surprise.
Before he could say anything, you cut him off, your voice faux innocent under a thinly veiled anger from the other line. "To think it took blowing your credit card to call me after making me wait for you the past THREE hours, you better have some explaining to do mister!”
To say you had left Sylus utterly speechless would be an understatement of the century, but it quite frankly did as your unexpected anger left his mind reeling in both confusion and worry.
Even his brief frozen state wasn't left unnoticed by Luke and Kieran, both could heard your snappy voice from the other line and they know an unhappy Miss Hunter equals to a agitated Onychinus leader, so they quietly watched in as Sylus slowly recover from his initial surprise before turning his attention back to the phone call.
“Kitten.” Sylus blinked, a frown forming on his lips, "I don't recall us having plans today? And I'm out of town for the time being as well.”
There was a sudden silence from your side, and for a second there Sylus thought you had hung up on him but your next words made him even more confused.
"Wait, what, I thought Luke and Kieran said you'd be free for the weekend and they'd told you about our date for today?"
At the mention of the twins, Sylus's head immediately snapped towards his henchmen who visibly tensed up. It didn't take long for Sylus to put two and two together that Luke and Kieran had pulled another of their mischievous pranks on you.
Oh but this one is definitely going to cost them their four months worth of paycheck for making his kitten angry at him.
"It seems like the twins have made a mistake. I wasn't aware of such plans today." Sylus's voice dropped low and dangerous, a flicker of annoyance as he shot the tensed twins a hard glare.
Though, knowing it would be no use to him to be mad at them at that moment, Sylus paused briefly once more before taking a deep breath, calming himself down. "I assure you, sweetie, I would never intentionally forget anything, especially when it's about you.”
There was another stretch of silence before you spoke up again, your voice softer and apologetic, wincing in guilt for assuming he'd purposely ditched you when that wasn't the case. "I'm sorry.." You sighed quietly. "I just.. I was looking forward to seeing you today and I.. I missed you, Sy.."
His annoyance instantly melted away at your confession. He understood that his work often kept him away, leaving you feeling neglected at times and he wanted nothing more than to rush to your side and hold you dearly in his arms. You always had a way to tug at his heartstrings and even then he relishes at the admission of you needing him as much as he needed you.
"I'll make it up to you, right now. Anything you want, name it." Sylus emphasized seriously, already giving Luke and Kieran a look of command. Not needing any further words as the twins bolted off to prepare his private jet to head back to Linkon.
"Well, you could start by allowing me to strangle those twins." You chirped, your voice brighter now yet held intentional malice mostly directed towards his loyal henchmen for tricking you with false information regarding Sylus's work schedule.
"And cuddles. I expect to see you at my place later tonight for cuddles or else I'll empty your entire bank account." You demanded sweetly, with a clearly joking threat but given you had waited three whole hours like a fool in public, you were tempted to do it again if Sylus bails on you twice in a day.
Your laughter tinkled over the phone, a lovely sound that never ceases to make Sylus's heart swell with blissful affection. The business deal be damned and he'll handle the twins' antics another time, for now, all he wanted was to go back to you.
Sylus chuckled, a warm smile tugging at his lips despite himself as he made his way up the building's rooftop. He knew his kitten was quite a force to be reckoned with, and yet such side of you made him drawn to you even more than ever - oh, he couldn't wait to see you again soon. "Deal. Cuddles it is, and you have my word, sweetie, I'll be at your doorstep by tonight. As for the twins, well, I'm sure they'll be begging for mercy by the time you're done with them.”
Back to your awaiting loving embrace.
Tumblr media
347 notes · View notes
thanosscross · 2 days ago
Note
hii!! <33
i love your work and i just have to request something for.. choi seung-hyun :)
yk top isnt in the kpop industry after all the things that happened to him (i feel so bad for him) so, when he was recording squid game.. guess what!?? apart from jo yuri, reader. a kpop idol whom during the last months/year has become famous there acting!! oh gosh he is so in shock because he gets flashbacks. and aside from that, our character is associated with his, so he has to spend plenty of time with us
Absolutely love it, I do I do. So let's do this
My Darling - Choi Seung Hyun x reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary: Meeting Choi Seung Hyun was an honor for you, considering you had stepped into his spotlight as a new upcoming k-pop rapper after he retired, so what happens whenever you not only meet him, but get closer than most with him
Warnings: You will cry.
Going on set for squid games for the first time was an experience, especially meeting everybody, yes you had been on a handful of other production, but nothing like this. Whenever you first given you script, you were sure you'd be one of the first to be killed off, but finding out you live throughout the second season was a shock, especially because you had a tour coming up soon.
Walking through the groups of people you felt nervous, because of your management company you had missed your first reading for the script, meaning everybody had already met other than you. You chose to sit in your chair off to the side going over your script, trying to anybody wearing a tracksuit with 230 on it, knowing that was going to be the main co-star you filmed with. Unknown to you Choi Seung Hyun had already spotted you and was standing in shock "Hey? You okay man?" Jae-won (Player 124) asked him seeing him staring across the room "Y-Yea, does she look familiar?" He asked motioning to you "I know we film with her, but-" Seung Hyun was cut off by a soft voice in front of him "Hi, I'm uh..Y/n l/n..I guess we're gonna be love interests" You smiled sweetly extending your hand to shake his, taken by surprise by him bending slightly to kiss the top of your hand gently "Choi Seung Hyun" He introduced, you blushed scratching the back of your neck shyly "O-Oh I know, being a big female rapper in k-pop, you have to know who came before you" You smiled, his smirk turned into a genuine smile after that "That's where I recognized you, you're that y/n!" He explained, sighing in relief that it wasn't going to be awkward you smiled "Do you guys wanna go over a few lines with me?..I couldn't make it the other day" You asked shyly, both men excitedly volunteering.
Filming with Seung Hyun was fun, he was always trying to flirt with you or get you to laugh, while it flustered you, the directors and cast loved it, all of them explaining it's giving their characters alot more chemistry behind the acting. As you stood on your mark, Seung Hyun stood on the opposite side of the scene, filming scenes for a close up argument between your character and his, as the director called action you attempted to start your lines "You selfish!- I can't! he's standing there so sweet!" You frowned, stepping forward hugging him tightly "You're not selfish" You frowned, the past few weeks of filming you and Seung Hyun got close, opening up to each other over wine after filming and coffee before filming. Seung Hyun just chuckled "I know, would it help if I made you mad?" He asked raising his eyebrows, you shrugged stepping back to your marker "Couldn't hurt to try" You smiled softly, he just smiled before looking at you "Your music is by far better than anything I've produced, and you've surpassed me in the rap world" He explained, you both knew he was just coming up with things that would get under his skin, it wasn't that you were a huge fangirl, but going into the music world at first you idolized T.O.P, so after his scandal and and him leaving BigBang you held a soft spot for him, he was a big reason you even learned how to rap that fast.
You filmed the scene with ease after that, only stumbling on your lines one more time after that for the day. You were now standing with your back to the wall, Seung Hyun standing a few inches in front of you, his arm blocking one side of your head, the other had a camera positioned to see the both of you perfectly "Y/n, Seung Hyun, Are you two okay to start?" Dong-Hyuk asked, you were grateful to have such a thoughtful director, any intense scenes always making sure you were comfortable and ready before filming started. "Let's do this" Seung Hyun smiled, you nodded in agreement as they called out action. "I thought I told you to pick to stay, senorita" he growled, grabbing the bright red X patch that was velcroid to your jacket "You're not the boss of me" You stated glaring him down, trying your best to remember what line was your cue to try and get away "Didn't I say I'd kill you?" He asked reaching his hand back, forgetting your cue you yelped as Seung Hyun's came in contact with your throat, pinning you to the wall, you both glanced at the director in shock, almost like children after accidentally hurting each other. "Cut!" He called out "Y/n! What was that? Did you forget your cue or something?" The director called out, your eyes were stuck on Seung Hyun though, his hand slowly pulling away from you, being replaced by his gentle finger tips "Are you okay?" He asked softly, trying to see with the current lighting if he hurt you "I'm alright, it just scared me..I guess I did forget" You whispered, you wouldn't admit why exactly you forgot, it definitely wasn't because of Seung Hyun's voice whenever he was acting.
After filming you were sitting on your trailer steps, watching the rain fall around you "Y/n" Seung Hyun's soft voice sounded from somewhere around the corner of your trailer "Seung Hyun?" You asked, trying to hear him over the soft pattering of the raindrops, you soon realized he wasn't talking to you, he was talking about you. Peeking around the corner you saw him a few trailers down talking on the phone with somebody "Yea yea I know that, but what else?" He asked, you stayed hidden behind your trailer, still listening in, not at all sorry to admit you really cared about what he thought about you, but also sorry to admit you felt the need to listen in on his conversation to know. "I don't know man! W-working with her has been fun.." You heard between the muffled quiet bits of his conversation, you were about to walk away before you heard him raise his voice again "Oh no! No! Not like that!" He shouted, you could only wonder what he meant or what he was talking about, you chose to keep it to yourself for now.
Walking up with a startle off put your morning severely, being a rising star wasn't easy, you had creeps at meet and greets, stalkers that went to extensive lengths to try and get your attention, some of which giving you pretty intense nightmares and ptsd. Walking onto set you gripped your script, you had accidentally slept through coffee with Seung Hyun, which gave him a weird feeling, like there was something wrong. "Y/n?" You heard his voice before you slammed into his body, you scampered back as Seung Hyun caught you easily, steading you on your feet before taking in your panicked look "Hey, are you okay, sweetheart?" He asked tilting his head, you didn't reply, just wrapping your arms tightly around him trying not to show to anybody that you were close to tears. Now Seung Hyun wasn't a liar, he wasn't very fond of physical touching, but there was something about your panicked terrified state that gave him a craving to hold onto you until you were back to your usual bubbly self. Wrapping his arms around you he rested a hand on the back of your head, holding you close to him "What happened this morning?" He asked "You were fine whenever I left last night.." He continued giving you a soft squeeze before pulling away, keeping a gentle hand resting on your shoulder. "I don't..Just..bad dreams" You smiled softly, trying to shake off any remaining anxiety you had "Are you okay to do today?" He asked rubbing your shoulder gently, you relaxed further under his touch "Y-Yea yea, I'm okay" You smiled, he gave you an encouraging smile before leading you over to your seats, that you both had moved closer to each other during one of your interviews earlier in the week.
As you read through this episodes script you mumbled quietly to yourself, unknowingly singing along to different verses of different songs that popped into your head "Okay, remind me when I'm in the studio again to get you to come do a collaboration track together" Seung Hyun smiled walking over to you from where he was filming "Don't play with my teenage fangirl heart like that" You teased, you both knew how you felt towards BigBang as a teenager, how you had posters of your co-star in your room before and after his rap career. "I'm serious, that's some good work" He smiled sincerely squeezing your shoulder sitting down, you just offered him an awkward smile, you knew today was Seung Hyun's last day on set, and it would be the last day you truly got to spend with him, and it'd be a lie if you said you wouldn't miss him.
You had one scene left between you and Seung Hyun before his characters death scene, and you were a nervous wreck, as the director called out action you stood in the colored room for the game 'mingle' "What was that stunt you pulled, huh!?" He shouted, backing you against the wall "I-I was trying to save her-" He cut you off, you did your best to act nervous and scared, but it was hard whenever the man currently yelling at you would apologize the minute any scenes where he had to objectify or be rude to you were done. "Her!? What about you, senorita!?" He screamed before backing up running his hands through his hair before going back to standing in front of you "I'm so fucking mad right now!" He shouted, pulling out another piece of candy out of his prop necklace placing it in his mouth "Just calm down! I'm okay, alright!" You argued, he just put his arm against the wall glaring at you, you took a deep breath getting ready for your cue "Don't try to tell Thanos the great to- Umpf!" He started until you smacked your lips against his, his hands going to your hips holding you close to his body waiting for the director to call Cut. Whenever he did you were a flustered mess, who knew that man could kiss like that?
After filming wrapped you were quick to get back to your trailer, shutting the door softly behind you before placing your face in your hands trying to take deep breaths, you didn't want anybody to see you like this, you felt stupid and overdramatic, but you and Seung Hyun had gotten really close during your months of filming, and it made you sad thinking about how busy you were, and how little you'd get to see your new friend, you wouldn't say you were an emotional person, but whenever you felt something, you truly felt it to where it'd effect everything you'd do. As you took your final shaky deep breath you jumped hearing the door close "Y/n?.." Seung Hyun asked softly, he thought you had been acting even odder than before as they got closer to his characters death, but after you left while he was saying his thank you's and goodbye's to everybody it was obvious now something was really bothering you. Seeing your teary eyes and tear stained cheeks he felt a pain in his chest "Oh, Jagi" He whispered pulling you into a hug, now Seung Hyun wasn't sure what he felt towards you, but he knew it was something different, he wanted to talk to you everyday, wanted to be the one to comfort you when you're sad, hold you whenever you're scared, and he knew friends didn't want that with other friends.
"I really liked hanging out and meeting you Seung Hyun" You sniffled stepping back, starting to bow in respect but he stopped you "Is that what you've been so upset about?" He asked, a soft smile playing on his lips, you just shrugged against his hold on you, not trusting your voice to speak "I didn't think you'd miss me that bad" He smiled, leading you over to sit on the couch that was placed in the bigger space of the trailer "I can't...have alot of friends...I mean you know, and being here, I feel like I finally found one, and I don't know when I'll see you again" You frowned, feeling tears start to build back up in your eyes, his expression was quick to match yours as he hugged you again "You'll see me again, y/n, don't worry I don't care if I have to buy V.I.P tickets to see you at every show, you're too cool to just not be your friend after this" He smiled giving you a slight squeeze before pulling away, you sniffled wiping your face "You wouldn't pay, I'd let you come watch backstage" You whispered, his frown turning into a soft chuckle "Well then, I'll be looking forward to it" He smiled, kissing your forehead softly "I had fun hanging out with you too, y/n" He added on, holding your hand in his gently "Promise we'll see each other again?" You whispered, feeling yourself about to cry again "I swear to you, jagi" he whispered before leaning back pulling you into a hug, holding you until you fell asleep.
Whenever you woke up the feeling of sadness was even heaiver seeing Seung Hyun gone and a small note sitting on the table
'Jagi,
I had to get going in time to make an art show, but I will be back to see you soon! Just over the last month, you've made me feel things I never thought I would be capable of feeling, that's how I knew you were my best friend. Acting with you and all the nights we spent talking will forever be an honor for me, your beauty is like no others, my eyes are drawn it to like a bumble bee to a flower. You give me hope there's a lot of good things to keep trying for, and for that, I will always be grateful for you my jagi.
Yours truly,
Choi Seung Hyun
T O P <3'
Reading the note you felt yourself on the verge of crying again, wanting to smack him for not letting you have a chance to thank him for being so sweet to you, sighing you got up, ready to get finished filming so you could see your best friend again.
--
HAHA MY FIRST SLIGHTLY SAD FIC AND MY FIANCE IS SO PISSED SHE'S GOTTA WAIT FOR A PART TWO!!
195 notes · View notes
bladu-bladu · 3 days ago
Text
I've lived in many places, moved many times, had to start over friendships again and again. Some people keep calling and you want to keep calling them; some people turn out to be only friends of proximity, and once you're no longer around each other, the friendship cools.
I have childhood friends that still live in that city and we are friends because once in three years i show up on their doorstep and say hey there im alive, and they say lets go out one of those days, and then i leave and we will see each other in a few years once again. I don't have their number and I don't want their number, because we dont have anything in common anymore, but we have been friends for decades because that's what we were when we last played together and it is enough to see them healthy and happy even if i dont know the particulars.
I had a friendship that lived on 6 month old message replies, and it was important and meaninful and i very much didnt care all that much about the time it took to answer, because if i said "im coming over next week" id have a spam of gushing and plans making and lets go there and there and do this and that and youre staying for how long and stay a few days at my house. And we would talk about everything and update each other on our lives and sometimes not talk at all, but just being around and realising that yes, we like each other still! was great. It is very strange to be making plans to visit and knowing they're not there anymore, they're not here anymore, but the urge to message is still strong, the friendship is still there, even thought they aren't.
I have a frienship that survived end of school, end of college, moving cities and states and a decade without seeing each other. And i asked for a place to stay and they said you can stay as long as you need. Live with me.
I have a friendship that started at work, and they said they feel inferior because oh you know so much about so many things, and i said you know just as much as i do, everytime you and our common friends talk, i know zero references, i dont know the people, the shows, the meaning, the implication, so who knows more than the other here? and i asked to be invited to their wedding and they started giggling. we have nothing in common besides our profession, and i wish to hold this person forever.
I've had friendships that i thought would survive distance but frizzled out. That i thought were meaningful, but were for (their) convenience. That i thought were real, but where only of proximity.
Maybe it's from the experience of having started over and over and over, but letting go of those that give you nothing but the taste of pain isn't the end of the world. The loneliness, the feeling of being unmoored and what do i do with my time that was theirs before fades away, and you find something else to occupy yourself with, you meet new people. Maybe you stay as acquaintances for years until you or they reach out. It does need courage, it does need work, but it is so very much worth it.
Also re: the fact it’s normal to have a period of time where you have no friends: sometimes this means no “real” friends aka still have people you know from work, school, family, neighbors, acquaintances, etc etc you interact with but are not close with and couldn’t go to for anything on any deeper level. But sometimes it actually does mean no friends. No social interaction, nobody to call, no other option, don’t talk to anyone for days, don’t know who would find out if you died. The thing is there really is coming back from both of those situations ofc it takes a good deal of work and can feel like pulling teeth to put yourself out there but god it pays off. You can always start over from scratch, and it’s true most people are just as lonely as you are
12K notes · View notes
bluem1lls · 3 days ago
Note
HEAR ME OUT!!!! se-mi with comphet reader (angst) 😈😈😈
✧₊⁺ you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling
Tumblr media
se-mi x fem!reader
✦ synopsis: you're so used to this perfect life. your career and your boyfriend. and it's miserable but is comfortable as it can be. until you met her, and now you'll have to spend the rest of your life waking up to be nothing more than his girlfriend, thinking about her saying "i told you so".
content: angst, comphet! reader, se-mi falls for thano's 'straight' girlfriend
authors note: thank you for the request! clearly inspired by good luck babe by chappell roan because i love to suffer jsjdfkfkj, i hope you like it! im sorry ive been posting more short stuff, the week is vvv rough on me with work but ill do everything i can to not stop posting! even if its a small work
Tumblr media
✧₊⁺ your boyfriend was acting weird. i mean, he's a man. the first thing that came to mind was 'he's cheating'
✧₊⁺ if the bastard was cheating you would kill him. it was enough that he used both of your savings to place them in bitcoin, and of course.. lost it all.
✧₊⁺ and you forgave him about that (kinda) but cheating? yeah no. you didn't wanted to be like one of those actresses with a cheating boyfriend everyone knew about.
✧₊⁺ so when you decided to follow him a random night and a man invited you to play a game, you were all against it.
✧₊⁺ you were a prestigious actress for god's sakes.
✧₊⁺ "oh. i thought you wanted to know where your boyfriend was heading?"
your eyes widen. what was this? some hooker shit? a betting house?
fine. you needed to find out where he is.
✧₊⁺ of course you ended joining the game to see where your boyfriend was. you dumbass.
✧₊⁺ waking up in a room full of strangers, was sure an.. experience.
✧₊⁺ confused, you stood up. where was your stupid boyfriend and why was he here?
✧₊⁺ "thanos?" i called him, scared. "baby?"
✧₊⁺ as you saw a group of people gathering around a very familiar voice, your fear turned into anger. you ran, pushing everyone sorrounding him.
✧₊⁺ "are you kidding me? this is where you got in? you fucking idiot" i hit his arm as he stared wide eyed at me.
"b-baby what are you doing here?" he chuckled nervous. "you should go home, this is not safe-"
"i wish! but you know, i was following you thinking you were cheating but what the fuck is this? did you lost more money? why are you here-"
"well, i came to win back the money we lost, dont worry baby. when i win this we'll be free!"
i can't believe this.
✧₊⁺ as you turned around to fumble alone, a girl touched your shoulder.
"oh my god, you're the actress on my favorite tv show! can i get a picture"
oh god. here too?
with the best fake smile, you nodded, and suddenly, the same crowd that was sorrounding thanos was now admiring you.
✧₊⁺ there was no doubt that after the first game you wanted to kill him.
"we die!? you brought us to a place where we fucking die if we dont pass the games!?" i screamed at him
"chill baby... youre making a scene. remember that people are watching"
"well, who cares? theyre probably going to die in like two days! just like us you idiot"
✧₊⁺ but just like that you kept playing with your... lovely boyfriend. and his new best friend apparently. god you needed a girl in here. you missed your girlfriends.
so indeed, your boyfriend got you a girl.
✧₊⁺ "i got you a friend so you can stop being... so angry all the time. enjoy life babe, this is a one time experience"
the second game was about to start, we needed two people more in our group.
i was about to punch him as i looked at her.
oh.
✧₊⁺ "hi..i'm-" hello? why was my brain shutting down?
"i know. i think everyone here knows apparently" she plays with her piercing lip, smiling.
✧₊⁺ that made you so nervous???? she got you smiling and twirling your hair??
oh you haven't felt like this in.. so long.
✧₊⁺ so yeah, with every game and her being the only girl (besides you) in the group, you two got close.
like.. way too close.
✧₊⁺ holding hands, protecting eachother, laughing together. you spent more time with her than with your own boyfriend.
✧₊⁺ in your defense, every single minute with her felt... like something you never experienced with him.
✧₊⁺ "why are you still with thanos if you think he's stupid?" she said, rolling her eyes and manspreading besides me, while i kept complaining about my boyfriend.
"he's nice.. he really is"
"you hate him, i dont think is normal to hate your boyfriend you know?"
✧₊⁺ you knew. but what else can you do?
you told her. she knew all abouth how your parents raise you to be this perfect actress, with her perfect husband.
and you already let them down with the 'perfect husband'. you can't disappoint them again.
✧₊⁺ so when her touch made you sigh, when she caressed your hair as you stared into her eyes, when she held your hand to feel you close in every game, trying to protect you more than your boyfriend ever did, or when she whispered sweet nothing's to your ear, making you shiver, all you could do was ignore it.
✧₊⁺ of course, when she realized that it was stupid and you weren't actually going to leave your boyfriend and your perfect life for her, she gave up, looking for something (or someone) that could make her feel better.
✧₊⁺ please, she was hot. she didn't need you.
✧₊⁺ she would never admit that in every girl she kissed after that, she was picturing you.
the way she would be biting your soft pouty lips, how she'd show you your boyfriend was nothing against her. she'd kiss you until you were out of breath, her hands roaming through your body, grabbing your waist, your hips.
she bit her lip as she kept picturing your hands wrapped around her neck, going down her back up and down.
✧₊⁺ she was so down bad it was making her stupid.
she had to do something about this stupid.. crush.
✧₊⁺ so was it a surprise when you found her making out with a random girl in the bathroom? not really.
but was it a surprise when she stared right to your eyes while she did it? i mean.. a little.
✧₊⁺ you scoffed, washing your hands.
"that's disgusting. there are bathroom stalls for that" i said to both.
as the girl turned around, se-mi asked her to leave, saying that 'she'd take care of her later'. ew.
✧₊⁺ she turned around, pissed. yeah, maybe you can get in her head for hours and hours, but ruining her makeout session? you were out of limit.
✧₊⁺ "listen princess-"
"don't call me princess after you made out with a random " i mumble, bitter. "and don't scream at me pretending like you hate me"
her eyes filled with anger.
"listen to me, you can fake being this perfect actress with your boyfriend and everyone else" she said, pushing me against the wall, one of her arms on top of my head, trapping me there. "but not with me. you think i dont see your little lustful eyes? the way you stare at me how i bet you never stared at your boyfriend?"
"b-bullsh-"
"yeah. whatever" she scoffed. "lie to yourself if you want, go fuck the entire common room to prove yourself that you're this pretty straight princess that your parents want you to be, but don't play with me" with every word she said, she got closer to me. our heated bodies breathing almost in sync.
"tell me im lying princess. tell me that if i" she grabbed my chin, softly caressing her lips with mine. my body shivering as my hand grabs her bicep, my nails clawing there, leaving 'c' marks, to ground myself. "do this, you dont feel a thing. c'mon. stop me, pretty girl. tell me you shouldn't" she whispered against my mouth.
✧₊⁺ but the truth is that you couldn't move. you couldn't back away, but you couldn't do this to thanos, to your parents. it wasn't fair.
dad? he had all the contacts he wanted. he would destroy your career in seconds. mom? would never let you step your own house again. oh and your boyfriend? would clearly ruin you on the internet. probably leaking everything about you in seconds. your own fans? people are not as open as we expect them to be.
you can't do this. you can't let yourself have this.
✧₊⁺ "im sorry se-mi" a tear fell, almost wetting her face too because of how close we were.
her eyes shut close. she mumbled something under her breath as she quickly stepped away, breaking whatever moment we had going in.
"i dont want you close to me again" she said, turning to leave as i rushed to follow.
"please, a-at least let me have you as a friend se-mi please" i begged her. tears couldn't stop falling to my cheeks.
"i can't" she said, turning to face me. her eyes roaming my features with a hint of guilt and sadness. "how can i be your friend when i'm so.." she stops, pressing her lips together. "i-i picture you in every girl i kiss. i can't be your friend.
i bit my lip as i hug her. she stiffens but slowly lets herself go, hugging me back. her hand on my hair, softly caressing it for comfort.
"if we get out of here and.. you decide that you're done being his perfect wife, and maybe you want to be happy..with me..i'll be waiting. i promise" she whispers in my ear, kissing my temple.
✧₊⁺ so it goes. after the next game, the nerves make everyone vote to leave and just like that you're actually out.
✧₊⁺ and althought you don't hear from her, you know she's still friends with your boyfriend.
and although she doesn't hear from you, she follows your life like she did. watching every episode of every single show you're in, following you on social media.
and although you guys never cross paths again, if you or your boyfriend ever invite her to 'the wedding', she will throw that invitation to the trash, where it belongs.
✧₊⁺ you miss her every night. mostly, when you wake up feeling cold against the person that's supposed to be your future. you're sure you love her.
and she misses you too. and she knows she loves you. that's why she never tries to contact you again.
✧₊⁺ because she loves watching you smile. even if its not because of her.
226 notes · View notes
bonelessghoul · 1 day ago
Text
Blood, Sweat, and Tears
Tumblr media
Summary: In a game that costs you your blood, sweat, and tears, Young Il is there to protect you from it all. After forging you way thus far with your own strength and will, you begin to realize just how much you'd grown to care for player 001. Note: This is lowkey a tidbit of something bigger I had been working on but I was so antsy to put it out there!!
There was a moment when you relinquished everything you knew about how to be human—when survival took over, and everything went cold. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, but as the curtains parted to reveal the massive room before you, the sheer vastness of it swallowed you whole. It was like a carousel stripped of its animals, the vacant platform stretching into a haunting void.
Your breath hitched as your new friends brushed by, awe painting their faces. But for you, awe was eclipsed by dread, your mind conjuring images of what would take the place of those carousel creatures.
“YN." A voice said, soft and steady, cut through your daze.
You hadn’t realized you’d stopped walking, your gaze frozen on the ceiling where the carnival-like top stretched impossibly high, its center receding into shadow. You turned your head to see Young Il, his face unreadable but his nod reassuring. You swallowed hard, nodding back as your feet reluctantly followed.
Behind you was Hyun Ju, player 120, and the odd group you had become apart of for the relay. You glanced back at them, Guam Je and her son above her with player 095 at their side. Gaum Je waved excitedly at you and you bowed your head, smile growing across your face.
“This game? We played it in school,” Jun Bae said, his eagerness to conquer bleeding into his tone. “We formed groups by hugging back then.”
Dae Ho, ever the pragmatist, glanced down at his fellow marine. “I think instead of hugging, we go into these rooms.”
The colored doors, bordered with arches of blinking carnival lights, seemed to mock you. Your heart raced as you scanned each one, already strategizing, already crumbling under the weight of possibilities.
Who would go where? How many would make it? What if one of you got left out?
These were thoughts you didn’t have before the relay; perfectly content in your own world of surviving and not having to worry about anyone else. It was almost a torturous game in itself when the survival of your new friends began to weigh as heavy as your own as you walked into this new game.
You didn’t even notice the tightness in your jaw until Young Il’s worried eyes found yours again. His look, calm but probing, was enough to pull you back.
He was another problem you unexpectedly faced here.
Once on the platform though, Gi Hun called you all into a tight huddle.
“If the number is bigger than six, we’ll get the additional people we need,” he explained.
“What if it’s smaller than five?” Dae Ho asked.
“Like four or even five?” you blurted, your voice cracking under the strain of your thoughts.
“Whatever happens, don’t panic,” Young Il interjected, his tone even but firm. “Stay calm.”
His gaze lingered on you as he spoke, grounding you in a way you didn’t know you needed. There was something in the steadiness of his voice, the way his words seemed to reach only you, that settled the storm within you.
“We’ll make it out together,” he said, placing his hand in the center of the group.
For a moment, you hesitated, your independence warring with the strange comfort his presence gave you. But then you took a breath and laid your trembling hand on his. The others followed suit, their hands piling over yours. As the huddle broke, your fingers brushed Young Il’s, and though you tried to pull away quickly, the brief contact was enough to remind you of what was at stake.
The platform jolted to life, a playful carnival tune echoing through the air. The motion sent a ripple through the group, and you stumbled, catching yourself against Young Il’s steady hand on your shoulder.
The music began, your heartbeat syncing with its rhythm, pounding in anticipation of the inevitable stop. When it did, the abruptness made your bones rattle. Instinctively, you gripped Young Il and Jun Hee’s arms, the three of you clinging together as the voice announced the number:
“Ten.”
Chaos erupted. Voices overlapped, bodies collided, and desperation filled the air. You clung to the five who surrounded you, your eyes darting frantically, searching for more.
“Hyun Ju!” you shouted, spotting her tall frame among 007, his mother, and 095. “We’re six over here!”
“How many are you?” Jun Bae demanded, urgency lacing his words as he tried to group everyone together and make sure it was the right number.
“Four!”
“Let’s go!”
Arms linked, you all sprinted toward door 44, a blur of motion and panic. The flashing pink lights disoriented you, but you held on tight, driven by the collective will to survive. As the door slammed shut behind you, relief washed over the room like a tidal wave.
Doubled over, you fought to catch your breath. But as your hands rested on your knees, they began to tremble uncontrollably.
“Is everyone here?” Dae Ho asked, his voice cutting through the heavy breathing.
A quick headcount confirmed it: all ten of you had made it. The knowledge brought a momentary reprieve, but your legs still shook as you leaned into the wall, your mind spinning.
Besides you, Geum Ja leaned her small frame upon yours, hand resting on your shoulder. She must have sensed the way your knuckles rattled in your skin beyond your control and from where you could see as your head hung down, her old yet soft hand covered yours.
Lifting up, you smiled with gratitude and she did the same, an unspoken relief shared between you two.
But the sudden eruption of gunfire shattered the silence and your smile, the relentless pops echoing in your ears. You flinched, your heart twisting with every shot. The weight of survival pressed down on you like a vice, and when the door reopened, it took every ounce of willpower to step back onto the platform.
There was so much blood scattered around the room, marking the spots where players left behind once stood.
Young Il waited for you at the doorway, his eyes scanning your pale face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you lied, the wavering pitch of your voice betraying you.
In another world, you refused to reveal otherwise. As your hands still shook you were ready to march on, but you could only be reminded that the next round might not be as easy.
You didn’t elaborate and further and he didn’t push. But when your hand brushed his on the platform, he didn’t let go. His fingers interlocked with yours, the grip firm and grounding.
“Just—just try not to leave me,” you whispered, the words barely audible above the jaunty tune that started up again.
If he replied, you didn’t hear it. But the gentle squeeze of his hand said enough. Your eyes shut as you braved yourself for the platform to move and you felt cowardly for clinging on so desperately to one man when there were so many of you who needed that strength.
The music stopped again.
“Four.”
Panic set in as the six of you exchanged wide-eyed glances.
“You four, go!” Gi Hun barked, his voice slicing through the chaos as he tried to usher you with Jun Hee, Jung Bae, and Dae Ho.
Looking back in a panic, you watched with relief as Hyun Ju took the players in her group off as they had already made the perfect four.
“No!” Young Il said firmly, your eyes locking with his. “She stays with me. We will find two more.”
The group that started at you desperately sunk with some form of disappointment mixed with a deep sadness that couldn’t make sense in a time where their lives were on the clock. But to your relief, you saw another pair just beyond Young Il’s shoulders who were waving for two more people.
There was no time for arguments. You shoved Young Il toward the pair behind him, your heart shattering as you watched Gi-Hun hesitate before running with the rest of them.
“Go!” you shouted, you and Young Il racing to grab the two stragglers and sprint toward a door.
When the door locked behind you, you collapsed, panting and trembling. But the fear clawed at you relentlessly. You needed to know if the others had made it. You moved to the small window, peeking out despite the bile rising in your throat.
“YN,” Young Il said, his voice softer now. A hand rested on your shoulder. “Don’t look. I know it that they made it.”
But you couldn’t pull away until the gunfire started again, jolting you back just before you could see more blood spill the ground.
When the doors unlocked, you rushed out, your heart in your throat until you spotted Jun Hee. Relief surged through you, and you threw your arms around her, holding on tight as Jun Bae and Dae Ho joined the embrace. It felt like when you had won the relay when the circumstances at play didn’t phase your mind when you were filled with the heartwarming sensation of everyone holding each other.
It was simply pure happiness in knowing they made it and you looked around, their looks of relief making your heart ache and wring out like a wet towel.
“I knew you’d make it,” Gi Hun said, his pride evident as he patted you and Young Il on the shoulder.
Nodding proudly, you looked up at Young Il who was surveiling the rest of them and checked in on Juhn Hee. Your heart broke every time you looked at her and you tore your eyes away to head to the platform, weighed by a grief for something that hadn’t even happened yet but the instead the grief of what could happen.
Back on the platform, the grim reality settled over you again. But this time, when you tried to stand strong, Young Il took your hand first and your head whipped towards him.
Why did he have to hold you so tenderly? Why did he have to make you feel cursed with the knowledge that he cared?
His lips curved into the faintest smile as if he could see the way you tortured yourself, a small reminder that, for now, you weren’t alone and the platform spun.
The ear piercing tune rung out, haunting you as its end would signify the next number to be called and when the platform stopped, your heart did too.
“Three.”
You were overwhelmed by realization that it was a perfect number: you standing between Gi Hun and Young Il while Juhn Hee stood between Jung Bae and Dae Ho. You all looked at each other with wide grins before taking off running.
Young Il and Gi Hun practically flew across the room to a door with you tailing behind like a kite.
But the chaos around you didn’t cease even as your group aligned perfectly with the challenge, and your world shifted abruptly when a force slammed into your side in the shape of an arm that yanked you into what felt like air.
The force was so sudden, so unrelenting, that your hands slipped free from Gi Hun’s and Young Il’s grasp before you could scream.
“YN!” Their voices tore through the ringing of your ears , desperate and terrified.
Your back slammed into the floor into a sticky puddle, the breath knocked clean from your lungs as your body hit the slick, blood-smeared tiles. Stars exploded across your vision, and for one disoriented moment, you couldn’t move. But you tried to move your body regardless, unknown to where or what direction but only knowing you needed to find them.
They rushed out towards you as your vision cleared and you were still stuck to the floor. But before you could push yourself up to meet them halfway, two arms snaked under your own and started pulling you away.
“Young Il!” you screamed, your voice raw and strangled, being hoisted up and dragged. “Gi-Hun!”
Panic surged through you in waves, wild and all-consuming, but their grip only tightened. You kicked and fought with everything you had, your heels scraping uselessly against the floor.
“No! Let me go!” you shrieked, your cries echoing as you caught a fleeting glimpse of Young Il and Gi Hun running toward you, their faces twisted in horror.
But there was no time and your eyes found the clock with less than 10 seconds to spare and your entire body went limp.
“YN!” Gi Hun’s voice cracked, his hand outstretched as the pastel-colored door loomed closer—too close.
There wasn’t enough time.
Time slowed to a crawl, every second seared into your memory as the men dragged you through the doorway. Your legs buckled beneath you as they shoved you inside, your knees slamming against the ground. You turned just in time to see the door seal shut, cutting off the anguished faces of Young Il and Gi Hun.
Your captors finally dropped their arms from you, both collapsing against the walls as they caught their breath.
For a moment, the world was silent and you were petrified to look up at the door for the fear of seeing their bodies laid out by the pink guards. But seemingly at the thought of blood, you commanded its scent and looked around the room.
And then it hit you—your left side was soaked with something warm and sticky. Blood. Maybe your blood, but you weren’t sure. The metallic tang filled your nose, and your stomach churned violently.
“You bastards,” you hissed, your voice trembling with fury.
The man who slumped against the wall didn’t even look at you. The other one stood, panting, his chest heaving as he tried to regain his composure. You didn’t care. Blind rage consumed you as you staggered to your feet, your legs shaking. Without thinking, you lashed out, kicking the man slumped on the floor.
“You two deserved to die out there!” you screamed, your voice breaking.
“Hey!” the standing man barked, shoving you backward.
But you didn’t care. Your fist flew out before you could stop it, connecting with his face in a satisfying crack to his nose that made your entire arm go numb. He stumbled back, clutching his nose as blood seeped through his fingers.
“You stupid bitch!” he roared, his voice muffled and furious. “You’re alive because of us!”
His words didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Not the pain radiating through your side, not the blood staining your clothes, not the searing ache in your chest. All you could see was the pastel door, and all you could hear was the deafening silence on the other side.
“We should’ve left her,” the man on the floor muttered darkly, his voice low and bitter.
You turned your head, spitting onto the ground where he sat, your gaze burning with unspoken venom. Your body trembled with unspent rage, with heartbreak so raw it felt like it might tear you apart. You couldn’t bring yourself to look back at the door. Not yet. Not until it opened again. Not until you knew if they made it.
This was why you should have stayed to yourself. You’ve become a liability to them and yourself—especially when you were consumed with so much grief for their lives that you’d rather be dead.
The world seemed to tilt, your vision blurring with the weight of it all. You stood frozen, bloodied and trembling, as the air hung thick with uncertainty. With a resounding click, the doors unlocked, and nearly ripped it off its hinges.
Stepping out among the dozens left who slowly emerged from the rooms, your breath was hitched in your throat as you slowly looked around for their faces.
“Mom!” 007 croaked.
You watched the boy choke on his sobs as his mother approached him, but on her tail was Gi Hun and Young Il. A faint feeling washed over you, shoulders sagging as something in you wanted to break out in tears.
If this were only yesterday, you wouldn’t have shed any tears but now, your eyes grew blurry as you slowly carried yourself towards them.
They had been spinning in circles looking for you and as you got closer to them, too scared to make a sound or else you’d sob worse than 007 was, your chest rose and fell rapidly to keep your choking at bay.
But your legs picked up their pace, your breath shuddering and Young Il finally froze when he saw you.
“YN!” he called.
You smiled through your tears but your lips trembled but luckily, he and Gi Hun closed the distance between you and Young Il threw his arms around you, clutching you like you’d get snatched away again.
Face buried into his chest, your arms slowly snaked around him too, the tears seeping from your eyes as quietly as you could let them.
“I’m sorry.” you apologized, voice muffled slightly.
For what? You weren’t sure—it’s not like it was your fault. But deep down you were remorseful for the way you made the others worry for you and the way you had gone feral at being separated from them but these were not things so easily spoken.
He pulled back, hands clutching your face in a surprisingly swift and comfortable manner, looking down at you with such a soft pitiful look to his face.
“What could you be sorry for?” he asked.
Gi Hun rubbed her shoulders and you lowered your eyes.
“There is nothing to be sorry for.” Gi Hun affirmed, nodding at her with a brief smile. “You survived and so did we. We make it to the end together, no matter what.”
It was what you needed to hear in this moment. It was okay to care so long as you all tried your hardest to survive and that’s what they had done in that moment.
You scoffed at yourself, cheeks dampened with salty tears and his thumbs swiped them away.
“I won’t let go of you this time.” Young Il said, his face challenged by something deeper as he released your face and guided you back to the platform.
“YN!” Jung Bae and Dae Ho gasped excitedly, clapping as you stepped back onto the platform.
“What happened?” Jung Hee asked sympathetically.
Looking down at your already bruising knuckles, a grim smile crept on your face.
“Nothing that won’t happen again.”
The two boys laughed like hyenas, in awe at your strength and gushing at the bruises that painted your hand like two little girls who had just met their idol.
“I think you should take up the marines when we’re out of here, YN.” said Jung Bae, earning a nod of approval by Dae Ho.
You shook your head, chuckling at their admiration.
“No, I’d like not to punch anyone else for some time, thank you.” you dismissed with a wince, shaking your hand out.
Young Il did a double take, and as did Gi Hun who leaned over behind him to get a look.
“You did what?” Young Il asked quietly, voice low as he almost looked quite impressed too.
The fleeting moment that had passed where your rage blinded you felt like someone else entirely, but you shrugged it off, eyes falling to your feet.
“I punched the man in the face when we got through the door.“
Unbeknownst to you, he smirked proudly and Gi Hun was almost a little terrified of you. But as the rest of the players gathered, there was one pressing question that hung in the air.
“What do you think the next number will be?” asked Jung Bae, the platform beginning to spin.
There was some debate, but you were caught off guard by the way Young Il grabbed your hand.
“Two.” he said, drawing all of their eyes to him.
“There’s 126 players left and only fifty rooms. There won’t be enough for everyone.”
Maybe it was blind confidence but as you looked at your friends, everyone paired up right away, and you looked back at Young Il as the platform stopped.
“I won’t let go this time.” he said.
“Two.”
Immediately, you and Young Il took off running as fast as you could off the platform and there were so many faces around you blurred by your peripheral taunting you as you fought for a room. There was no time to divert and the door you two were approaching had one individual standing before it.
“Get in!” Young Il shouted to you, releasing your hand for a split second to fight off the man who hung by the door.
Your vision went fuzzy as you entered the room the room, but at the sight of the sheer horror of someone else in the room that made your blood run cold you froze up. You wanted to warn Young Il, caught on your words like you were choking, but he had already rushed into the room and slammed the door shut.
“Get out.” Young Il demanded
“We were in here first!” the man huddled in the corner.
Something dark came upon Young Il’s eyes as the impossible crossed your minds. You hadn’t seen him lose every ounce of life in his expression and it made your own soul feel cold looking at him.
“Turn around, YN.” he said, neither commanding nor pleading—but an order you followed nonetheless.
For a split second you did listen, quick to spare yourself of the horror but as you heard the thrashing around and the choking gasps that gurgled with last breaths of air, you found yourself turning around anyway.
It wasn’t as horrifying as you thought, having watched so many people die already and knowing your own life was at stake, you couldn’t blame Young Il. Even as he sit there, arms wrapped around the players neck like he had done this many times before, you couldn’t move away.
That’s how your mind rationalized it, but your breath had quickened to hamper down the churning of your stomach.
The sickening crunch of the players neck made your hand shoot up to cover your mouth.
A life was gone and you couldn’t figure out if this was better than being gunned down or not—but it didn’t matter. The clock struck zero and you and Young Il were safe. But as he got up, letting the body slump, your soul nearly jumped out of your body.
“YN.” he said, treading carefully towards you.
Your hands started to shake again, bile burning the base of your throat.
“You had to.” you assured, the words coming out like an automatic reply. “You had to.”
The same hands that had snapped a man’s neck were back on your face, stroking the hair behind your ear. There wasn’t any words that needed saying as he looked down at you, and you had the courage to look back up at him.
“You’re safe, YN. We made it to the end.”
Tears stung your eyes, almost defiantly so. His eyes studied your face, pausing in one particular spot. His hand slid down to your neck, fingers raising chills along your spine, but they lowered so his thumb could swat away a streak of blood along your jaw line. His hand didn't move though even when your face was untouched by blood and now, only the angry tears that puddled within your eyes.
“I know we made it. But I feel like I’m losing myself as the cost.”
You were here because of school debt and medical debt on top of it, abandoned by all those who were supposed to help or too scared to stay in the first place whether by death or selfishness. It was where you two overlapped as you gotten to know each other the past two days.
The only “self” you were losing was the part of you that made it impossible to let anyone in and you’d like to think he knew that, when you told him why you were here. But even still, he stood there as defiant as yourself deep down and held you close anyway.
Your hands reached up to hang on his wrists, reveling in the way his hands felt upon your face and you leaned into it just a little. It was a comfort you had long forgotten.
“I can’t lose myself…I’d be more afraid of losing you then. I’d be afraid to feel what I’d feel if you weren’t here anymore.”
Young Il’s lips parted at your confession and he had no words, a hint of anguish crossing his eyes as his brows furrowed slightly.
He pulled your face closer to rest on his chest and while the rest of the bodies were swept away, you took the moment to let your head sink in and forget what was happening outside with only second left before this cruel and yet blissful moment was ripped away.
~~~
167 notes · View notes
mj0702 · 2 days ago
Text
New Year🔞🔞
There is smut content in there so... MINORS NO NO!!!
What a Party it had been. Patri really went all out for this new year party she hosted. Jenni wore a simple black piece hugging her figure just perfectly her eyes in a – what you called vintage – smoky eyes in silver and black makeup her lips painted in a dark red nearly brown-ish. Alexia the complete contrast as usual wore cream light but elegant pants, a – also vintage – crop top (you'd never dare to call your girlfriends old into their faces so you always settle for “vintage” instead) and simple makeup. You – the most simple out of the three of you – wore simply Jeans (you wanted to go in sweaters but both Alexia and Jenni threatened to tie you to a lamp post and just leave you there if you would dare to leave the house in sweat pants) and a Ralph Laurent Polo. Surprise you weren't the only one. You found yourself in a corner with Caro, Ewa, Laura (Keiras girlfriend) and Esmee all sporting the Jeans 'n Polo look standing there awkwardly all of you a cup of something in your hand. It was like a scene from a bad High school movie where all the nerds standing in a corner watching the popular girls while all your girlfriends (minus Ewa who still longed after that girl in her old Club and Esmee who had a dating ban by your girlfriend – the Barcelona one not the Mexican one – after the drama caused with Esmees ex-boyfriend) had the best time on the makeshift dancefloor
“So... how was your Christmas?” Caro asked after 15 minutes of heavy silence
“Oh... yeah... good” Ewa shrugged her shoulders “... spend it with my family in Poland”
“Careful there Pajor...” you smirked nodding at Laura “... not that you get invaded... again”
“hey.... that was ONE time...” Laura rolled her eyes playfully
“Wait what??” Esmee looked confused “Laura invaded Ewa? Uh oh.. Keira won't like that”
“Yeah no...” you snorted “... Lauras grands invaded Poland... and the Netherlands”
“Oooooh....” the young player looked curious “.... why?”
“Hun... I know you're young...” Laura started patting Esmees head “... but even you should've heard of World War II … Jexias plaything over here just loves to milk them Austrian jokes”
“Ooooooh... yeah I heard of that...” Esmee nodded while Caro snorted into her drink
“England was invaded too...” the norwegian pointed out making Laura groan
“Not really no...” you pursed your lips “... our leadership knew what they were doing”
“Can we please stop making bad 1930s jokes?” the Austrian huffed but the little twinkle in her eyes showed that she wasn't mad
“Because you'd lose again?” Esmee asked innocently
“Careful there kid...” Laura pointed her finger at the youngster “... or you and I will have a little face off tomorrow”
“I still have tomorrow off...” the young dutch exclaimed
“You won't if you keep choosing the wrong side” the Austrian raised her eyebrow
“Come to the dark side...” Ewa threw her arm around Esmees shoulders “... we have cookies”
“And alcohol” you pointed out lifting your cup
“And alcohol” the polish player confirmed
“Alexia said I'm not allowed to have alcohol during the season” Esmee hung her head
“First.. she's not looking...” you quickly glanced at your girlfriend who was dancing with Jenni before you pushed you cup into the young players hands “... secondly... drink that”
“Bad influence... all of you” Caro shook her head smiling
“Are you going to report us all to Marta?” you challenged her an eyebrow raised while you “helped” Esmee drowning your drink – you simply held the cup so the young one couldn't do anything else than drink
“And get in trouble because I didn't stop you?” the norwegian snorted “Hell Naah”
“Jesus... that's strong...” Esmee now coughed a little bit after she emptied your cup “... what is that”
“It should've been a Mojito....” you shrugged your shoulders “... I might went a little hard on the Rum...”
“It tasted like... pure Rum” the young player pulled a face
“Because it was...” you said unphased “... I forgot what else belongs into a Mojito so I went for the ingredients I knew... Rum”
“Isn't there sugar in it?” Ewa wondered out loud
“Yeah... but try to find sugar in a pro athletes household...” you waved your hand around Patris home
“Huh... true” Ewa nodded while Laura and Caro started laughing
“I think our Cari is enjoying herself” Jenni husked against Alexias ear her hands on the blondes hips while Alexias back is pressed into the older ones front the Catalans arms hanging loosely around her girlfriends neck
“Mhm...” Alexia hummed after she quickly glanced over to you “... and with Caro and Laura there we don't need to worry that her, Esmee and Ewa get into trouble”
“I wouldn't go that far” the dark haired one chuckled “... she can be quite the brat if she wants to”
“You love it if we act a little out of line” the blonde smirked turning in her girlfriends arms so she can look at Jenni
“I love it even more when I get you both back into line” Jenni smirked bending down kissing Alexia softly
“Get a room” Pina hollered from the other side of the room which caused Jenni to deepen the kiss lifting her left arm and showing Pina the middle finger
“NOT my room!!! NOT any room in my house!!” Patri panicky interrupted when she saw that Pina was about to contra Jenni once more
“You just have to turn the music up Pats...” the dark haired one smirked after she ended the kiss “... both of them can get quite loud”
“Oh god” Jenni and Alexia heard your faint groan bursting out laughing
“Why would you yell at each other in a room?” Esmee asked with the innocents of a child after your groan of embarrassment making Ewa, Caro and Laura burst out laughing
“Jenni and Alexia are both....” you tried to do damage control “... intense people”
“Intense... yeah...” Caro chuckled wiping away a tear “... call it intense”
“I mean I never played with Jenni...” the young player pondered
“Y/n does that quite frequently...” Laura laughed at your misery
“Really?? When?? You play here...” dear god that girl was naïve “... and she plays in Mexico”
“Whenever she's here... ain't that right Tygrysku??” Ewa pressed out before she broke down laughing again
“Can I come and play with Jenni too?” Esmee looked at you pleadingly
“NO” you exclaimed sending the people around you into a new fit of laughter
“Gosh...” the young player rolled her eyes “... you really are egoistic... playing with the best players in the world and not even willing to share”
“Oh she's sharing alright” Caro heaved out trying to get some air into her lungs
“Can you please stop” you pleaded
“Defiantly not...” Ewa pressed out holding onto Lauras shoulder so she wouldn't fall over from laughing
“Sweetie...” Laura started in an overly motherly voice “... Y/n isn't playing football with them....”
“Well... what else would she play with them?” Esmee looked confused
“They're...” Caro started before she had to think for a second “... shaking sheets”
“That makes no sense” Esmee rolled her eyes “... I know for a fact Y/n has a woman coming in once a week cleaning her flat because she's too lazy... I bet she's shaking the sheets too”
“No she's not” Ewa snorted “... not in that way”
“I want to die...” you groaned in agony “... can't the floor open up and swallow me whole?”
“They're playing... bedroom rodeo” the norwegian now clarified waiting for Esmee to catch on – and oh you could see the moment she did
“EW....” the young player exclaimed disgusted looking wide eyed at you “YUCK!!! That's basically mi Mamí you're talking about”
“DON'T call her that” you groaned your head in your hands trying to hide your beet red face
“Even the fans say she's basically my football Mamí” Esmee looked outraged at you
“Please... for the love of god... I pay you whatever you want... just...” you looked desperate which didn't go unnoticed by your girlfriends “... stop calling her Mamí”
“WHY???” the young one exclaimed and again the three players around you exploded laughing
“I think I'm gonna pee myself” Ewa was laughing so hard she hardly got any air into her lungs “... this is gold”
“Just...” you took a deep breath “... stop”
“Everything alright here?” you know heard the voice of Alexia right behind you and at the tone you heard that she expected an answer – most likely from you
“Everything alright” you turned around putting up your best (very pained) smile
“Then why are you looking like you just want to drop dead?” your girlfriend raised an eyebrow
“Esmee and I just.... settled some...” you started before Ewa interrupted you
“Misunderstandings” the polish player snorted trying to hold her laughter in
“I didn't ask you...” Alexia fixed her player with a glare “... Cari?”
“Y/n said I'm not allowed to call you Mamí..” Esmee exclaimed “.. but even fans say you're my football mom”
“Hmm...” the catalan hummed her eyes not leaving yours making you squirmy
“Come here...” Alexia said low but not low enough but you stayed rooted in your place not wanting to give the group around you even more material to make fun of you
“Really?” the blonde just raised her eyebrow giving you a last chance and you knew it “I advice you to think hard about it...”
“Can we please not here...” you said your voice quite sharp – sharper than you intended
“Watch your tone” Alexia was instantly in your personal space towering over you not even leaving you time to react “... now be good and come here”
“You're right in front of me” you snapped “... where should I go then?”
You should've known that it was a bad idea to challenge Alexia Putellas. With her being nearly 15cm higher than you, pure muscle AND spanish-hot-blooded you knew there was no way you would win fighting against her. So the second the words left your mouth you looked up in horror right in time to see Alexias face switch from surprised to disbelieve. A second later her big hand made its way to the back of your neck locking in place pushing you past her and through the whole room. To your relief no one except the small group who were the start of all evil noticed what was happening. Well... no one except Jenni of course who always had an eye whenever Alexia and you interact knowing that sometimes both of you were to stubborn to listen to each other. So the second she saw Alexias hand dart around your neck she was already on her way to interfere whatever argument you two were “settling”
“I don't know what was in that cup you had in your hand before” Alexia sneered the second the front door fell shut behind you two “... but you better pray it gave you enough courage to tell me what THAT was in there”
“You were right in front of me...” you grumbled back wincing a little bit when the blondes hand squeezed a little tighter
“Wrong answer...” the catalan sneered “... think again and think HARD what comes out of that bratty mouth of yours next”
“Well hello...” you heard Jennis surprised voice behind you
“You keep yourself out of it Jennifer” Alexia snapped shortly glancing at your girlfriend
“Ay... I did nothing...” Jenni lifted her hands in surrender “... I'm just here to make sure you don't kill her and end up in prison.. your ass is too pretty for prison”
“Oh you find that funny sí?” Alexia snapped at you shaking you a little bit by the neck as you snorted at Jennis comment
“You do have a nice ass...” you admitted the alcohol in your system not letting you grab the situation “... I must know... I stare at it often enough”
“Are you...” the blonde got thrown off track by your behaviour “... drunk?”
“Teeny tiny little itsy Bitsy bit” you giggled the alcohol kicking in full force now that you were outside breathing fresh air
“Mierda..” Jenni chuckled under her breath “... it took her all of 30 minutes”
“I can't even punish her for being bratty” Alexia looked outraged at Jenni like the older one stole her ice cream
“Amor....” the dark haired one chuckled “... either you sober her up or you wait until tomorrow and then punish her”
“How should I sober her up right now right here?” the catalan asked Jenni bewildered
“Ice water? Coffee??” Jenni offered knowing Alexia wouldn't have the heart to dunk you in ice water
“Uh” the blonde groaned while you looked intensely at Patris butterfly figure next to the door “... she'll cost me my last nerve”
“The joys of love” the older one snorted “... let her be for tonight Amor... I'll let you do whatever you want to her tomorrow...”
“It's not like I have a choice...” Alexia grumbled “... she wouldn't remember anyway”
“Let's get her some water... and some Ibuprofen” Jenni smiled as you tried to poke the butterfly wondering why it wouldn't fly away
It's not like you planned on getting drunk. But being a pro athlete that only has a drink now and then or at some celebration at the end of the season – that Mojito really brought you down. You didn't remember Jenni and Alexia getting you to drink glass after glass of water with you getting distracted every five seconds to the point were the blonde considered just hitting you over the head with a bottle so you would sleep it off. Jenni had a field day watching the two of you bickering the whole evening only stepping in when she noticed Alexia was near losing it. You didn't remembered that you saw them two kiss at midnight sending you into a frenzy where you actively ran away from them out of the house tears clouding your vision so that you fell over Patris porch railing straight into a bush of dark red roses. When Jenni and Alexia who were hot on your heels found you crying in them roses both of them really had to hold in their laughter. What they didn't expect was that you didn't wanted to be touched by either of them – it took a drunk off her ass Ewa Pajor to pull you out of the rose bush (with Patri yelling in agony about her damn roses) and an Ingrid Engen to calm you down so at least Jenni was allowed to sit next to you. When she asked what was going on with you knowing fully well that drunk you was a very emotional you you started crying again how your girlfriend Alexia kissed your other girlfriend Jenni and they both cheated on you with each other. Drunk you also didn't do common sense. Not realizing that your girlfriends were right in front of you. Alexia let out a string of spanish curse words how one could be so stupid making you cry even harder. Jenni got you to calm down by telling you she will have words with Alexia and Jenni that under no circumstances is it okay to forget about you but only if you'd agree to go home with her. You agreed under the deal of her sleeping on the couch – you were a lot but no cheater. The oldest one chuckled and agreed. By the time you three were home you were fast asleep against Alexias chest drooling on her crop top.
“I can't believe that happened tonight” the blonde rolled her eyes as she carefully slipped out from under you
“I can't believe I have to have words with myself” Jenni snorted reaching over you to unbuckle your seatbelt
“How did she get so drunk so quickly?” Alexia shook her head at your black out state
“She never could hold her alcohol” the dark haired snorted while she pulled you out of the car “... just... let's get her to bed”
Jenni should learn pretty quickly that this task alone was a whole other fight. You woke up the moment the dark haired one sat you down on the bed starting to open your Jeans. Alexia went into the Bathroom to get something to clean you up and to change you into (it's either one of hers or Jennis t-shirts) when she heard you panic screeching from the bedroom
“What's going on??” the catalan rushed back into the bedroom to find Jenni standing at the foot of the bed while you were pressed against the headboard a pillow pressed to your middle
“Ale...” you cried out
“Sí Cari?” the blonde features soften a little bit as you shuffled over to the edge of the bed, getting stuck in the blankets falling face first out of said bed to then quickly jump up wobbling behind Alexia for cover
“This woman wanted to.... you know” you whisper yelled behind Alexia with absolute urgency
“This woman???” Jenni exclaimed making you shriek ducking further behind your blonde girlfriend
“Bebé...” Alexia said softly “... it's okay...”
“No it's not!!” you huffed “.... she wanted to get into my pants!!”
“She's drunk... she's drunk... she's drunk....” the dark haired spaniard mumbled to herself so she wouldn't lose it while Alexia tried to not burst out laughing
“Normally you like it when Jenni gets into your pants” the blonde snorted “... come Cari.... let's get your drunk ass into bed”
“But....” you pouted “.... there's a stranger in our bedroom”
“Stranger?” Jenni looked at you with wide eyes while Alexia bursted out laughing
“It's okay Cari....” the catalan laughed “... she's a good friend... she just needs a couch to sleep on”
“Are you really kicking me out of OUR bedroom because of drunky there??” the older woman looked at Alexia outraged
“Just wait until she's asleep and come to bed” the blonde rolled her eyes manoeuvring you back onto the bed
“Since when am I the bad one?” Jenni mumbled as she left the bedroom
“You can come back” Alexia called out just as her girlfriend left the room
“I can't believe she declared me as a stranger who tried to rape her” the older one grumbled
“You know that she's not thinking straight when she's drunk” the blonde said as she pulled your pants off your legs
“But still... I'm her girlfriend!” Jenni huffed as she started to undress herself
“Yes you are” Alexia said carefully
“But?” the dark haired one asked an eyebrow raised
“You aren't around as much as I am...” the catalan pointed out “... we live together... and I KNOW you do everything possible to be here as much as possible... but...”
“It's not enough” Jenni sighed as she got into bed next to you
“It is Jenni... she's not thinking straight...” Alexia said softly getting in on your other side
“Apparently it isn't” the dark haired one huffed
“Don't get hung up on that....” the blonde rolled her eyes “... we'll find a solution one day”
“You both can move to Mexico...” Jenni kept her voice light even tho Alexia heard how much it hurt her girlfriend
“Not in a million years” Alexia played into it “... you know what they say... Barca is Alexia... Alexia is Barca”
“They can have a human sized cardboard cut out from you... can tape it to the side of Nuo” the older one chuckled tiredly
“You're an ass” the blonde chuckled kicking her girlfriend lightly under the blanket
You woke up because you felt so warm. Your head felt heavy and you needed a second to realize where you were and why you felt so hot. You turned your head to find Jenni spooning you from behind her arm loosely around your midsection while Alexia laid in front of you – more half under you. Of course you fell asleep in between the two space heaters you called your girlfriends. These two women had a body temperature from around 200 degrees and always complain how cold it was hence the extra blankets. You on the other hand were english – you literally melted every time you shared a bed with Jenni AND Alexia. One of them was bad enough but both of them... sudden death for you. But there was something else that made you feel hot. Alexias leg was slotted in between yours and her thigh pressed right into a very delicate area. If you were really quiet and REALLY carefully you probably could get away with getting yourself off on the Catalans thigh. You knew both of your girlfriends were normally dead to the world sleepers – even more when they have time off. So you really carefully started to move your hips a little to test the waters a little bit so even IF one of them woke up you could still play it off as getting uncomfortable and just needed to move a little. After your initial try you waited a few seconds to see if one (or in the worst case scenario both) of your girlfriends stirred but nothing. So you got bold. You pressed your centre down on Alexias thigh and out of reflex your blonde girlfriend flexed her muscle making you suck in your breath
“I hope you're not doing what I think your doing Cari” Jennis voice cut sharp through the silence
“Fuck” you swore and jumped a little turning your head quickly looking at your girlfriend with big eyes
“So...” the lanky spaniard looked at you expectantly “... where you doing what I think you were doing?”
“I....” you stammered “... no?”
“No?” Jenni raised an eyebrow “... to me it looked like you were trying to get off on Ales thigh”
“No no no no no” you quickly shook your head “.... I was getting.. uncomfortable... you both are too hot”
“Gracias Cari” the dark haired one smirked wolfish “... but I KNOW you tried to get yourself off... alone the fact that you waited to see if one of us would wake up... you know neither Ale nor I will let that slide.... even tho it was just an attempt... a very poor attempt”
“I didn't...” you started but one look from Jenni shut you right up
“Why are you two so loud?” Alexia groaned next to you
“Our dear Cari just tried to get off on your thigh and now is trying to lie about it” Jenni informed Alexia who shot right up into a sitting position
“You what??” the blonde glared at you which you couldn't quite take seriously since her hair was sporting the fresh out of bed look making her look like a confused Owl and not like Alexia “I can make people cry just looking at them” Putellas
“I... didn't...” you started but the way your lips pressed into a thin line told Alexia everything
“Oh I can promise you now...” the blonde looked down at you “... you will regret that”
“You wanted to come didn't you” Alexia whispered into ear while Jenni was busy eating you out “So you'll come... over and over and over again... until I AM satisfied”
“Ale... por favor” you whined trying to push Jenni away from you
“No Cariño...” the blonde whispered sweetly “.... you were so SO bratty yesterday... challenging me in front of everyone... then you called Jenni a stranger and hurt her with that... and THEN... if you weren't in problems anyway you thought it would be a good idea to use ME to get off... not very clever Bebé”
“Please...” you whimpered but with Alexia having your leg in a dead grip with her legs and Jenni having your other leg over her shoulder you had no chance to get away any time soon
“Come Cari...” the catalan growled into your ear “... come for me”
You did just that. Your back arched off the bed your body trembled and shuddered your eyes screwed shut as you came hard. Alexia smirked against your skin not letting go of you. You on the other hand didn't know where you were for a second. Not only did the blonde keep her hold on you also Jenni didn't stop. From your experience you knew the Madrista could go for hours.
“Ale please... no more” you begged the catalan who just chuckled against your skin before she gently nipped at it
“Oh mi Corazon...” Alexia shushed you “... you WANTED this”
“No I.... dear JESUS” you squeaked out feeling two of Jennis long fingers entering you roughly
“Just Jesus? The last time you called us “oh god”...” Jenni grinned from her position between your legs “... not doing my job well enough then...”
“Very well...” you groaned “... too well... enough well”
“Oh Bebé...” your blonde girlfriend now taunted you “... if you can still talk back then Jenni isn't doing her job properly”
“No... please” you begged again tears starting to form in your eyes when you felt the dark haired one thrusting her fingers in and out of you in a rapid pace and now on top sucking on your clit
“Ssshh Cari... let Jenni do her job and loosen you up for me” Alexia whispered sweetly her nose brushing against your cheek “.... you have no idea what I have in mind for you”
“Ale... por favor” you whined
“No mi Bebé...” the blonde kept her voice sweet “.. you wanted to come... now you'll come”
“I can't.... no more” you screamed out and still your body betrayed you reaching it's climax on Jennis long fingers
“Huh.... that just looked different to me” Alexia faked surprise knowing you wouldn't be done after two orgasms “... be good for us Cari”
“You are pure evil Ale” Jenni smirked from her position between your legs
“She ASKED for it..” the blond defended herself before she turned her attention back to you “... and whatever Jenni does to you know Bebé... I'll do too... only for twice as long and three times as often”
“No please” tears spilled down your cheeks knowing exactly Alexia would do just that to the point where you either tap out or use your safe word
“Oh sí mi Hermosa Corazon” the catalan murmured as she pressed open mouthed kisses to your throat
You groaned pitifully knowing you just.... lost. You feel Alexias evil smirk against your skin and right this moment you accepted your faith. The bed dipped but the blondes hand against your jaw and cheek prevented you from looking what's going to happen. But you didn't need to wait long until you realize what's going on.
“You're so beautiful Bebé” you heard Jenni murmur her hands stroking over your thighs her thumb digging into your muscle there “... you're gonna look even more beautiful stretched around my dick”
“No no no no no” you whined wriggling around but the dirty chuckle from Alexia told you everything you needed to know
“Sí Corazon...” the dark haired one smirked nudging your legs further apart with her own thighs making more room for herself “... just relax....”
You whined when you felt the head of the strap pushed inside you but at least Jenni was kind enough to give you a moment to adjust before pushing further until she bottomed out her hips flush with yours.
“So beautiful” the older one mumbled her hands gently stroking over your stomach “So tight”
“You're getting soft Hermoso” Alexia smirked looking over her shoulder at her girlfriend
“YOU are the one torturing her... not me... I'm just here to let her have fun” Jenni wriggled her eyebrows while she slowly started to gently thrust in to you
It wasn't something that you weren't used to – them speaking about you like you weren't lying writhing in between them. Most of the times you found it extremely sexy but today it hit different fuelling your insecurities and you knew you wouldn't be able to enjoy whatever they have planned with you if you wouldn't word your concerns
“Jenni... el alto” you grunted out and immediately Jenni stopped moving and Alexia looked back down on you – not that you expected anything else
“What's wrong Pequeña?” the dark haired one asked her brows furrowed
“I'm here” your voice raw making Jenni and Alexia looking first at each other than back at you
“Sí... we.. see that” Alexia said carefully not knowing what your point was
“... I mean.. I feel it” Jenni piped up getting slapped by the blonde on the shoulder
“I am HERE” you said lowly
“Sí Bebé... we see you” the blonde catalan said carefully
“Then don't talk like I'm not” you sniffled
“Oh Corazon” Alexia sighed leaning down again pressing her nose into your cheek “... lo siento... we KNOW you are here.... we KNOW”
“Sí...” Jenni nodded slowly not knowing if your head was in the right mindset to continue
“I...” you tried to find the words but you couldn't
“It's okay... breath for me mi amor” the catalan said her voice low “... while you are a brat sometimes you can always talk to us”
“I need you to relax for me Corazon” the dark haired spaniard above you said softly about to pull out as you stopped her
“No...” your hand basically flew to her hip your fingers grabbing the harness to stop her from moving
“Sí Bebé....” Jenni kept her voice soft “... your head isn't here...”
“I can...” you started again before Alexia interrupted you
“We know you CAN...” the blonde whispered “... but there's no use right now... I will get my way... don't you worry... but right now you need something else... you need us...”
“Don't tell me what I need” you snapped
“Cari...” Alexia warned you but she knew this was just a way of you coping “... this is going a VERY long year if you don't watch it...”
“I KNOW what I can take” you shot back a slight feeling of failure making it's way into your mind
“Basta” Jenni interrupted her voice strict “... let go Cari”
You begrudgingly let go of the harness and Jenni pulled back and out of you oh so carefully but still making you grunt in process
“I know Bebé” the dark haired one said softly as she wriggled out of the harness disposing it carelessly on the floor before crawling up your body pressing soft kisses to your skin “... you did so good”
“No I didn't...” you huffed “... failed both of you”
“Ay non of that” Alexia interrupted your train of thoughts firmly “... stop thinking... you did NOT fail me or Jenni or us... you made us proud by telling us what you need”
“Sí... so good for us” Jenni murmured against your skin “... but we need you to tell us what you need right now”
“I need...” you stammered “... I don't know what I need”
“Space? Gym? A run?” Alexia provided
“No” you looked at her shocked
“Cuddles? Bath? Breakfast?” Jenni smirked
“Yes” you sighed sinking deeper into the pillows letting yourself relax a little
“Which of the offered things?” your blonde girlfriend asked
“All of them” you answered like it was the most obvious thing making Jenni snort as she laid down next to you
“All of them?” Alexia asked her eyebrow raised but her eyes soft
“Sí...” you nodded letting the dark haired one pull you into her side
“You heard her Ale... vamos...” Jenni smiled widely keeping her tight hold on you
“You can also...” the blonde started confused and immediately Jenni shook her head
“Can't... someone has to stay with our Cariño” the lanky one smirked
“Increíble...” Alexia mumbled rolling her eyes swinging her legs out of the bed “... usarla para no hacer nada”
“Someone has to look after her...” Jenni yelled after Alexia who just flipped her off on her way to your bathroom getting started on that bath
“What do you want for breakfast Cari?” Alexia asked from behind you holding you securely in her arms while you had your eye closed simply enjoying the warmth of the water and the calming smell of Sandalwood, Chamomile and a little splash of citrus oil
With you being very open to stress and anxiety Alexia started quite early in your relationship to read and study about different ways to reduce your stress and calm your mind and body. You weren't open to everything she introduced you to like mediation. Even tho you could meditate if your in the mindset for it most times the quiet left you even more overwhelmed than relaxed. The blonde figured out very quickly that if the technique got pushed on you that you left the session even more stressed so she put a stop to it immediately and kept on looking for other solutions. Sometimes skin to skin contact helped you immensely and sometimes even the lightest body contact sent you into a frenzy. But what always worked was scent. If it was in form of a Bath like now or Candles or a few drops of oil that your catalan girlfriend sneaked on your pillow before you went to bed. And yet it was a long road to figure out what worked best. You absolutely despised anything too floral or too woody. Citrus always worked but citrus wasn't very calming so Alexia experimented a lot until she got the perfect mixture for you. She didn't mind one bit always one for learning new things exploring new directions. She even used Mapí and Pina a couple of time as a cross reference. Pina apparently was allergic to Jasmine – poor woman sneezed for two days straight after Alexia held the little bottle under her nose asking if she likes that smell.
“Breakfast is nearly ready” Jenni appeared in the doorway keeping her voice low seeing how you basically melted into Alexias embrace
“Vinga Cari...” Alexia mumbled against your temple “... esmorzar”
“No...” you whined your eyes still closed
“Sí... vinga” the blonde said pushing you slightly to sit up more
“If you move at this rate we can make dinner out of it” Jenni rolled her eyes disappearing again
“Come on Cariño....” the catalan poked your sides making you whine even louder “.... you know we'll never hear the end of it if we need too long and Jennis hard fought breakfast making is for nothing”
“We can eat it later... it's only cut up fruit” you whine sinking back slowly again
“I made eggs!!” your other girlfriend yelled from the kitchen knowing you and Alexia bashing her breakfast skills
“I rather get a red in a Champions League final than to end up in hospital again because of food poisoning” you mumbled making Alexia bark out a laugh
“We'll just let her eat first...” the blonde smiled “... if she drops dead from the chair we know not to eat it”
“You see....” you slowly got out of the bath “... food poisoning takes time... even IF she eats first... it's at least four hours until the symptoms kick in... I'm NOT risking it again”
“I'll never do anything for you again if you don't move your ass soon” the dark haired one yelled from the kitchen again and you heard she's getting annoyed
“We're already moving” Alexia yelled back wrapping you in a big fluffy towel
“Good...” was the answer you got as you pulled an old t-shirt (probably Jennis according to the length of it) and put on some boxers Alexia held out to you knowing you prefer those to “normal” underwear
“I don't feel good...” you mumbled your back pressed against Jennis front as you were laying on the couch her arm loosely around your midsection your feet in Alexias lap
“What's wrong Corazon” the dark haired one murmured from behind you her eyes closed as she was about to drift off to sleep
“My stomach hurts” you whine trying to get more comfortable
“Oh no...” your catalan girlfriend looked over alarmed “... not again”
“What you mean again?” Jenni lifted her head slightly looking at the blonde
“You cooked her into hospital before” Alexia said eyeing the lanky one until she caught on
“ONE time... that was ONE time” your girlfriend exclaimed
“Ale...” you whined holding your stomach
“Oh Bebé...” the blonde was up as a shot kneeling next to your body
“Hurts” you whimpered while Jenni looked flabbergasted
“I used the book you gave me for Christmas!!!” Jenni defended herself
“And still our Cari is laying here in pain...” Alexia snapped at your girlfriend “... Jesús Jennifer... why do you always have to offer to cook”
“I followed the book step by step” your dark haired girlfriend huffed starting to gently massage your stomach making you groan
“We should go to the hospital” the catalan mumbled stroking some hair out of your face
“Tea... we could make tea” Jenni said quickly “... tea is good for stomach”
That's when it happened. You quickly sat up thinking you need to puke. Alexia scrambling away thinking the same. She loved you but it was not on her new years agenda to get puked on by her girlfriend. But no... the burp that left your body was everything but NOT human. Jenni and Alexia looked at you like you were transforming into a demon right in front of you while you smiled happily instantly feeling better.
“Now I feel better” you declare grinning widely as you threw your body back on the couch getting comfortable again
“That was...” Jenni looked down at you then back up at Alexia
“... I'm at loss for words” Alexia shook her head still shocked “... how can such a pequeña Cariño make such a sound??”
“It's a special talent” you smiled cheerful “... you should look up the video where Mapí challenged me to do the Sprite-challenge... THAT was loud”
“I'm dating a child...” the catalan said bewildered “... a literal child”
“Found it” Jenni held up her phone grinning widely
“Two children...” Alexia shook her head stunned listening to Mapís voice cheering you on to ex the bottle and then the demonic sound coming out of the phone while Jenni nearly died laughing and you grinning pleased
198 notes · View notes
unknown-cold · 2 days ago
Text
It's fanny how some people call her evil era.
We never saw her kill an innocent person, even when my friend saw the show he is not a fan of Arcane but he saw a lot of comments about it and I also urged him to watch it after all the excitement around it when I asked him about his opinion on the show and especially the character of Caitlyn he told me, he expected after all the posts and comments about her that she would go to Zaun and kill people with her gun he didn't expect that she just wears a costume that looks like a vampire and looks tough and mean, she would get this much hate. He even asked me why people don't talk or blame Ambessa isn't she the main reason behind most of the problems in this season and also Singed or even Silco and his allies?
I couldn't answer him except that people have double standards and are hypocrites because their criticism of Caitlyn's character is not because she did one bad thing but because she is from Piltover and an enforcer. I'm sure if Caitlyn was from Zaun and did worse things they would sympathize with her and love her, so their criticism is so hypocritical and has double standards. In short, their criticism of a character is not because she did bad things, but because of who she is and where she is from.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
They forget that silco kills a lot of people, mainly people from the undercity, even kids, LOL have put a mini game on the clien and there you could find out that Silco use kids as lab rat to test the chem tanks.
And I'm sure now someone will come and tell me that Caitlyn used the gas on all of Zaun and killed people with it. Seriously idiot where did you get this? Can you show me a picture from the show that people died because of gray, and if it's true then the characters must are talking about it, that Caitlyn uses gray to kill innocent people. So this claim is not true, we saw at the beginning of episode 3 how Caitlyn used the gas strategically and not randomly and Amanda confirmed that. So she used it to catch gangs there. Because logically, 5 people wouldn't go to catch hundreds of gang members that easily, and also if one of the people got hurt Ekko would have talked about it and we know that Ekko is the most loyal person to his people, so even Ekko himself didn't complain about using gray, yes he and Scar were talking about the gangs that were working with Silco, and they didn't care about gray, why? Because this gas didn't hurt them.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Even if it hurt them and that using it was an evil act, why didn't you say this when Jinx used it on Piltover and injured innocent people, women and children, she didn't target enforcers for example, Jinx use the Grey randomly unlike Caitlyn, but is anyone talking about this? Of course not. And worse when I saw comments saying that Jinx should blow up Piltover again and eliminate the people of Piltover. Like some people have shown their true colors, that they don't care if a character did something bad or good, all they care about is who this character is.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
And because Jinx is from Zaun and they have every right to do bad things, but Piltover doesn't even if they do good things they are still bad, what a shallow and ridiculous thinking. some Arcane fandom are probably the most stupid fandom nowadays, to them everyone from Zaun is a perfect angel who never do nothing wrong, everyone from Piltover is a monster with no feelings
The show is not black and white, that only exists in Disney movies, go and watch it if you are this kind of boring and traditional storytelling, Arcane proves every day that this show is not for everyone and if you want to enjoy it you have to open your mind well and be open-minded, and most importantly put politics and real life issues aside, and enjoy this fantasy world with flawed characters and good writing. (This show is not designed to solve political issues at the end of the day. It is a show based on a video game)
Morally, I do not agree with a Caitlyn's Evil Cop Era. The lesbian in me, however, really likes that dumbass coat.
Tumblr media
Like. Really likes it.
10K notes · View notes
souljahwwitch · 1 day ago
Text
MY LIVING LEGEND! 𓂃⋆.˚
Tumblr media
𓂃⋆.˚ hc’s about thanos x dancer! reader who has a big crush on him >_< (slightly angsty)
(no squid game here!) (mentioned that the reader is very pretty (because ya’ll are!!!!)) (drugs mentioned)
Tumblr media
𓂃⋆.˚ being thanos’s main dancer was—exhilarating to say the least, going on tours with him, being on every spot, even sometimes get interviewed because of your otherworldly beauty
𓂃⋆.˚ thanos tolerated you, he usually doesn’t get involved with the dancers but you were a different story—he got more successful because of you and your beauty, and you were just timd, so he liked having conversations with you (not the one where he tried molly with you..that was a slip-up, a mistake he promised never would happen again.)
𓂃⋆.˚ you thought thanos was blind, because how couldn’t he saw the way you look at him, as if he had the whole world in his hands, everytime he even much as passed by you—you felt like you were starstruck.
𓂃⋆.˚ you two had many slip ups, as in trying stuff together and both of you waking up confused and..half naked. but he never wanted to talk about it—never. he’d always just call his private driver to drive you home, and when dance practice came—he had to touch you, because of the choreography. and it was damn near infuriating
𓂃⋆.˚ you couldn’t even count the times you cried to your friends—cried alone even, because of him. but you couldn’t be mad either, your relationship should’ve been purely professional, right?
“you gotta stop looking at me like that, angel.” he’d hiss, making you blush—but you’d just brush it off
“likeeee what, thanos?” you’d say, smiling prettily, and as mad as he is at himself for wanting you as much as you wanted him (though he was completely blind to your feelings towards him) he couldn’t help but crack a smirk.
𓂃⋆.˚ you noticed thanos taking those little pills from his cross before every performance, and once, unfortunately, you had to say something.
“you don’t need those, you’re already great.” you mumbled and he looked at you—angrily?
“you don’t know shit about what i need or not, just dance and look ethereal like you always do, got it?” ouch.
𓂃⋆.˚ it was positively awkward between you two after that, which was strange—he shouldn’t feel awkward with you, not when you’re the only one keeping him fucking sane.
𓂃⋆.˚ he’d catch you crying because of him, and he knew—he fucking knew it was because of him, but he’d just look at you, not having the words or the courage to say something—until now
“don’t waste your tears over me, sweetheart. s’not worth it.” he mumbled, sitting beside you as his tattooed hand reached for your cheek.
“you-you don’t understand.” you said between hiccups, blushing even now at the smallest contact
“then make me—make me understand and we’ll figure something out, yeah? like we always do, sweet girl.”
190 notes · View notes
roosterforme · 7 hours ago
Text
Aim for the Sky Part 33 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley can't wait to learn if Rose is going to have a younger brother or sister. Planning for the baby means planning for the future, but Bradley can feel that you're unhappy. With help from friends, he finally figures out why.
Warnings: Angst, adult language, body image, DILF Roo, pregnancy, jealousy, vomiting
Length: 3500 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.
Tumblr media
You'd been quiet for days, chalking it up to exhaustion from work, but Bradley was a little concerned. He was missing out on a lot of cooking and cleaning at home, as well as responsibilities with Rose. Most days, he was collapsing in bed right after you, body tired and brain overworked. But he was close to advancing a few of his pilots to the next stage in their careers, and he didn't want to let up just yet.
Truthfully, he was enjoying many aspects of his day-to-day at work. He loved making decisions that would benefit his group. When he had a compelling answer for his superior officers, it made him feel so good about himself. He didn't even mind putting in the extra hours. But it was clear that Indigo wanted to be his class pet, and he wasn't quite sure what to do about that.
She was weighing on his mind a lot, most likely because she was constantly invading his office hours. He wanted to tell her she didn't have to try so hard to be the best aviator in the bunch when she just simply was the best one. But that would be feeding her ego, which probably wasn't the smartest option right now.
"Are you ready?"
Bradley looked up from his desk to see you standing there, and he jumped to his feet. "Of course I'm ready," replied with a smile, pushing all of his paperwork to the side and logging out of his computer. "Been looking forward to this."
You smiled softly, hand resting on the slight swell of your belly as you shifted your weight from one booted foot to the other. "Me too," you whispered, and Bradley grabbed his keys, wallet and phone from his desk drawer. He reached for your hand, lacing his fingers between yours and headed out into the sunny October afternoon.
"Time for our final guesses," you said. "Do you think it's a boy or another girl?"
Bradley looked down at your face, the perfect curve of your cheek catching the sunlight. You were beautiful. Every bit as stunning as the day he first laid eyes on you in one of the classrooms he passed on a regular basis. "Sweetheart, if there's anything good or just in this world, it better be another girl. Then I'd have three of you to look at."
"Rose looks like you, Bradley!" you insisted immediately, breaking out in the biggest smile he'd seen on your face in weeks. 
"Rose looks like you. Everyone thinks so. She's adorable." He pulled you to a stop and leaned down to kiss your cheek. "And her face already has this exact curve that I'm fucking obsessed with." 
Bradley let his lips linger, loving the way your cheek warmed as you stepped all the way into his embrace. You seemed on the verge of telling him something or asking a question, your posture never quite relaxing. He'd noticed that recently. Like you couldn't let yourself completely go with him like you always did. He wanted to ask you what was going on, but he was more than willing to wait until you were ready to say something on your own.
"We'll be late if we don't get a move on," you whispered. Bradley responded by kissing along your cheek to your lips. "I'm serious, Roo," you mumbled.
"Let's go," he sighed. "Dr. Morris already thinks I'm an idiot. I better not add tardiness to her list of complaints about me."
A short drive later, and the two of you were walking into the waiting room right on time. You barely sat down before a nurse was calling you back and handing you a hospital gown.
"It's weird without Rose here," you said as you got undressed. Bradley held out the gown for you to slip into, shaking his head.
"Nah. This is just for us. She can hear all about it later after work."
He was just about to close the distance to stop you from tying the gown closed so he could get another look at you, but Dr. Morris strolled in.
"How are we all doing?" she asked, shooting Bradley a look on her way past. It wasn't like he was capable of knocking you up again, but she was looking at him like he might have.
"Fantastic," he replied at the same time you said, "Okay."
He shot you a look as you eased yourself up on the table. He wasn't sure what he could do to make you happier. A conversation was clearly necessary now, but he didn't even know how to initiate it. If finding out more about the second Nugget today wasn't enough to make you smile, he didn't know what was.
He dropped down into the chair at your side, wrapping his big hand around yours as Dr. Morris spread that warm gel across your belly and asked you an array of questions. He listened to your answers as his heart beat a little faster. He was excited about this. Soon you could talk about baby names and nursery themes. He couldn't wait to meet his second child in the spring. 
Bradley kissed your fingertips, watching intently as your doctor isolated some ultrasound images. Then she asked, "Do you want to find out the sex?"
"Fuck yes," Bradley gasped, scooting his chair a little closer. "I mean, please."
You and Dr. Morris were both wearing smirks as he squeezed your hand. He was so excited, it was hard to swallow. He didn't care if it was a boy or a girl. He felt the same way last time around, too. He just wanted a healthy kid he could dote on.
"It's a girl."
He was up out of his seat, sending the thing screeching across the floor as he hooted. Okay, so maybe he did have a bit of a preference for another daughter, but he would have been happy either way.
"Another girl!" he shouted while you smiled up at him. "Just me and my three beautiful girls."
Bradley let his lips collide with yours, kissing you until he got his fill. Dr. Morris and the rest of the ultrasound and everything else could just wait a few minutes while he soaked in this pure perfection.
----------------------------
Bradley had been inundating your text thread for days with links to various nursery themes, but meanwhile you and he hadn't even decided which room would be your second daughter's.
"A second daughter," you whispered at your desk. Your parents were excited; you got to watch your mom and dad cry over FaceTime. Rose was too young to care, but one day she might have an opinion about her sister. You, on the other hand, felt like a mixed bag of emotions.
You wanted to be happy. You really did. But it was too hard. Somehow letting your sadness ebb and flow was easier. Especially whenever you ventured too far away from your lab or your office. Indigo was always around. It was like she knew were to find you. And perhaps she did. Your name was in the directories around base. But it felt like she was mocking you. She obviously wanted your husband, and he was either oblivious or hiding something.
When you managed to let your intrusive thoughts win out, you checked his phone only to find pretty much nothing untoward. Other than ruining the surprise of what was probably supposed to be an anniversary gift, all you found was one unanswered message Indigo sent to him a while ago. It bordered on flirtatious, and you were a little concerned that he gave her his phone number, but there was really nothing there.
But she was in your face on base enough that you kept to your office as much as you could. Of course, today was the day you were absolutely starving, and you left your lunch at home. You could pop down to the cafeteria, grab a sandwich to appease yourself and the baby, and then bring it back up here to eat it. Should be a piece of cake.
Hot turkey sandwiches were on the menu, and you almost cried tears of joy as you had one packed up in a container with extra gravy and a side of mashed potatoes. It smelled so good, you couldn't wait to take a bite. 
When you were waiting for the elevator, you froze with your lunch in your hands. You could see Indigo and Spice heading out of the cafeteria, and there was hardly anyone in the lobby for you to try to hide behind. You felt absolutely ridiculous as you stood there eavesdropping.
"What kind of progress have you made?" Spice asked, voice carrying over the sound of conversation around you.
Indigo smiled and laughed, showing off her perfect teeth. "Well, I can't give you details here, but... it's no wonder he's willing to spend so much time with me after hours. Anyone with eyes can see his wife let herself go this time around." Your cheeks burned as she added, "He's more than happy to help me with absolutely anything I need."
You sucked in a deep breath, certain she was talking about Bradley. And you. When the elevator arrived you ducked inside, jamming your finger against the button for your floor. As the doors slid shut, Indigo's gaze connected with yours, and she stood there proudly with her friend like she'd actually managed to steal Bradley from you.
A sob escaped your lips, and you tripped along to your office door. You really did look awful. Your skin was broken out, and you were going to need to start wearing the maternity tent well before your third trimester. Your belly was already tender, and then the baby decided this was the perfect moment to kick hard enough you thought you were going to wet your khakis.
"She's right," you whispered, tossing your lunch onto your desk and running for the bathroom. One glance in the mirror as you ran for an empty stall left you sobbing in the ladies' room. You looked awful. It was no wonder Bradley was paying extra attention to her. The fear that looking at Indigo had already turned into touching her was eating away at you. When you flushed the toilet, you turned and gagged before emptying the meager contents of your stomach into the bowl.
When you finally made it back to your office, your stomach couldn't handle a single bite of food. You dumped it in the trash.
-----------------------------
Bradley was just wrapping up a meeting with Maverick when Indigo cornered him outside his office. "Can I help you with something?" he asked, trying to keep the amusement from his voice. She was getting to be relentless.
As she shook her head slowly, she laughed. "I already told you, Sir, I can think of countless things you could help me with."
"Well why don't you run some of them past me?"
Her eyes widened as she licked her lips. "We could do that at the Hard Deck? I could still buy you that drink?"
Bradley sighed, hands planted on his hips which somehow drew her in closer. "I can't let any of you buy me drinks. Sorry, but that's not going to happen." He nodded toward his door. "But I have about fifteen minutes if there's something I can help you with."
She nodded. "Fifteen minutes would probably be more than enough, Sir."
Indigo stepped inside his office, glancing back at him over her shoulder, but Bradley saw another familiar face turn the corner in the hallway.
"Hey, there, hot shot," said Natasha, making Bradley smile. "You have a minute?"
"Actually, no," he replied, watching as his best friend looked inside to see who was waiting for him. She made a face, gaze snapping back to his. "Can it wait until later?"
Nat pressed her lips together like she was fighting off a scowl. "I wanted to see if you were free to workout with me later," she whispered. "I could stop by after dinner, and we could do some reps in your garage?"
"Absolutely," he replied. "See you around seven?"
"Yeah." 
She took one more look at Indigo before marching back the way she came, leaving Bradley with nothing to do but take a seat behind his desk.
"Do you want me to close the door?" Indigo asked, voice laced with hope as she half stood.
"Leave it," Bradley replied, once again showing no hint of favoritism. "Now, what did you want to talk about?"
----------------------------
After dinner, you excused yourself to Rose's nursery to feed her and make a phone call to your parents. Bradley kissed you on the forehead before doubling back to the bedroom to change into gym clothes. When he let you know Nat was coming over to workout in the garage, you seemed almost relieved.
He started setting up his weights and bench press when he heard the sound of a familiar engine pull up to the house. A minute later, Nat was strolling in wearing bright pink spandex with a matching gym bag. 
"I could spot you a mile away," he told her, and she chucked her bag at his chest. They both laughed when he caught it.
"You know what I can see a mile away?" she asked.
"What?"
"The word dumbass written across your forehead."
He rolled his eyes, dropping her bag onto one of the mats. Then he froze as he heard another engine pull up to a stop at his driveway. This one made him glare at Nat.
"Why is he here?" Bradley asked, and a split second later, Jake came strolling in like he owned the place. 
Nat and Jake shared a look as Jake tossed his gym bag next to hers. "I thought I might need some backup."
Now Bradley was annoyed and also confused. "Backup? For what?"
Natasha closed the distance to him, patting Bradley on the chest with a firm hand. Her dark eyes conveyed concern as she asked, "Are you fucking stupid? Or are you doing it on purpose?"
"Huh?"
"I love you, Bradley. I really do. But I still have to follow girl code."
"Nat, I have no fucking clue what you're talking about."
The clanging of Jake adding weights to the bar made Bradley want to scream as Nat shook her head in pity.
"She wants in your pants," Jake drawled.
"Who?" Bradley asked, still unsure what they were even talking about.
"Your student with the crazy blue eyes!" Nat said, smacking him hard on the chest.
"Indigo?" Bradley asked, taking a step away from her. Both Nat and Jake were nodding as Bradley's brow creased. "She's like twenty-six years old."
"So?" Nat asked, hands planted on her hips.
"So, she's not trying to get in my pants. I'm married. Everyone knows I'm married."
Bradley held up his left hand, complete with wedding band. He rarely ever took it off, especially since it got him into hot water with you when he was deployed. But as he watched the band shine under the fluorescent lights, his lips parted wordlessly, and he stood there while both Nat and Jake scrutinized him.
If Indigo had been flirting with him this whole time, he'd written her off as an overzealous young pilot trying to prove herself. Now every interaction replayed through his mind, and he rubbed his palm over his eyes as he groaned. There was no way this was happening to him. He'd been alone with her on several occasions in his office. The door always remained open, but she'd pushed for him to close it.
Bradley's cheeks burned with mortification, and he wasn't sure he could even look Nat in the face. If Indigo really was trying to get in his pants, then he was a joke. He was an absolute joke, and none of the younger pilots took him seriously in his new role. That thought made him sick, but not as sick as the idea that maybe you'd noticed something as well.
Bradley swallowed hard. "Oh, fuck." When he swallowed again, he wanted to scream.
"Okay, there's my answer," Nat whispered, wrapping her fingers gently around his wrist and pulling his hand away from his face. She pressed herself up onto her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thank god you're just stupid. It would be so much worse if you were messing around with her intentionally."
"I'm not," he barked, angry at the insinuation. "I wouldn't. I've never even touched her!"
Nat's hands were on his chest, coaxing him to calm down, but he was too worked up. "Easy, Soul Sister," she said, but he was shaking his head now.
"I'm fucking married, Nat! I made wedding vows. I have a daughter, and my wife is pregnant with another girl. What the fuck would I cheat for? What's going to be better than this?"
Bradley's chest was heaving with ragged breaths as she guided him to sit on his bench. He landed hard, jostling the weights as he looked up at two sympathetic faces.
"Nothing's gonna be better than Angel," Jake drawled. "I'm still not sure if it was dumb luck or divine intervention, but she's way out of your league, Bradshaw."
"I know," Bradley snarled. "You think I don't know that? She's fucking perfect." He tilted his head back, blinking up at the lights. "Do you think she knows Indigo was trying to flirt with me?"
"Absolutely," Nat replied, and Bradley forced himself to meet her eyes.
"Yes, asshole," Jake added. "She's not stupid like you are."
"Fuck." Bradley stood and started pacing around. He felt like his job and marriage were suddenly on the line. He didn't know what to say to you that wouldn't potentially make things worse right now. If he could think of something reasonable, he'd run across the yard and back inside the house and say it to your face.
Maybe this was part of the reason you'd been so quiet? But it didn't make sense. He never talked about Indigo outside of the context of work, because there was simply nothing else to say. But after that night at the bar, you were really fucking mad at him. He thought you were mad that he got drunk, but maybe there was more to it.
"God damn it," he groaned, realizing Nat was lifting weights while Jake spotted her. "Do you think I should talk to Mav tomorrow?"
"Yes," they both replied in unison. The fact that they agreed on something was scary enough, but that let Bradley know just how fucked he was.
But he would take care of everything. He'd talk to Mav and figure it all out. What other choice did he have? 
"I'm heading inside," he murmured. "Can the two of you turn off the lights and lock up when you're done."
Bradley didn't wait for an answer. He was already walking across the backyard, craving your reassuring touch that he wasn't quite sure he deserved. When his phone vibrated in the pocket of his shorts, he pulled it out. He was met with another text from Indigo, but this time there was a photo as well. She was on the beach at sunset, the orange and pink sky somehow making her eyes look even more startlingly blue, and she was smiling at the camera. When his eyes slid down the screen to her cleavage, he almost dropped his phone. But not before he read the text.
This beach is so beautiful. Wish you were here.
Bradley couldn't decide what to do. Turn around and go back to the garage? Go inside the house? Sit down on Rose's jungle gym and cry? Smash his phone to bits? When another text appeared, he looked at it immediately.
Oops, I sent that to the wrong person. Have a good night, Sir.
Bradley squeezed his phone in his hand until he was afraid it might break. Then he opened a different text thread and pounded out a message, hitting send immediately. 
Mav, I need to talk to you about something important first thing in the morning.
When Bradley noticed movement, he looked up at the sliding glass door. You were carrying Rose around the living room, bouncing her in your arms as you yawned. Getting the Nugget ready for bed was supposed to be his job. He loved it. The bedtime stories and the snuggles were the best part. He needed to have this.
Finally he walked inside, sliding the door closed quietly behind him, trying not to panic. Rose was nearly asleep, but you let him take her into his arms. Bradley kissed her all over her sweet face before forfeiting her to her crib, then he climbed in bed with you. When he reached for your hand, you curled up against him, and he let his hand rest along your belly.
"I love you, Sweetheart," he whispered, heart aching. "I love my three girls."
-----------------------------
Start getting your shit together, Bradley. Indigo has shown she's relentless. Also, I thought I was solid on the baby's name, but I might put it to a vote. Stay tuned. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
@hotch-meeeeeuppppp
@solacestyles
@blog-name6996
@bcon24
@avada-kedavra-bitch-187
@katiebby04
@marantha
@averyhotchner
@abaker74
@heli991113
@k-k0129
@noz4a2
@shanimallina87
@ccbb2222
@xoxabs88xox
@thedroneranger
@cherrycola27
@fanboyswhore9
@xomrsalliej4787xo
@desert-fern
@horseslovers2016
@mattyskies
@hookslove1592
@blahehblah
@sadpetalsstuff
@local-spidey
@schoollover
@lex-winchester
@nicole01-23
@jessicab1991
@happyrebelruins
@samsgoddess
@bellaireland1981
@sagittarius-flowerchild
@mygyn
@yuckosworld
@daggerspare-standingby
@nessjo
@trickphotography2
@lyn-js
@furiousladyking
@godsfavoritebabe
@bethabear12
@halo-mystic
@sherlockstrangewolf
@theamuz
@khaylin27
@glenpowellluver
215 notes · View notes
witchthewriter · 1 day ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐃𝐢𝐱𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!
a/n: I know I've written about Daryl x reader in a relationship, but I'm rewatching The Walking Dead and UGH I love him...
ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ
ISTP
Hufflepuff
Chaotic Good
Taurus Sun, Scorpio Moon, Aquarius Rising
𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿
・The perfect example of your marriage is that scene from Yellowstone at the bar. Here's the link. Warnings: Violence :)
・Yes, so you and Daryl have a very close relationship - it has taken you a long time to get to this point.
・But marriage meant you two would be staying together for life. And Daryl knew that. No one was taking you away from him.
・You two met at the very beginning; in the camp with Lori, Carl, Carol, Dale, Andrea, Shane, Glenn etc.
・You abhorred Merle and gave him as much as you could - cussing him out, calling out his actions etc. You were always right but Merle was Merle.
・And you grouped Daryl with his brother; although he didn't say much.
・When Merle wasn't around, you actually got the time to see Daryl differently.
・He was really growing on you.
・You had no idea that he was wrestling with certain feelings as well.
・Your relationship was ... a slowburn to say the least. But you always looked out for each other. Made sure one another had enough food and water.
・There developed a constant between the two of you. Where one went, the other wasn't far behind. Especially when the group would split up
・You always found your way back to each other
・And yet, neither of you could see how much the other cared. Even though the whole group - even the new members - could see it.
・Though he comes off as rough and gruff to most, Daryl would have a soft spot for you. You’d be the only one who gets to see his gentler, more vulnerable side.
Tumblr media
𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑹
・Daryl was anxious all day, you even saw his hands shake before he saw it and shoved them in his pockets.
・You were worried; he never kept anything from you. Not even when you were just best friends.
・So you went to Carol, she shrugged her shoulders and gave you that knowing look. It calmed your own nerves down, because when Daryl is anxious; you are tenfhold.
・That night you were getting ready for watch, but a knock came at the door.
・It was Michonne.
"Hey, you wanna come in? I'm gonna start my shift soon but I can make us something tea?"
"It's okay, and don't worry about your shift; I have something for you to do."
"Oh okay, sure."
・You followed Michonne past the gardens, the crops and up to the doors of Alexandria and out into the nearby forest.
"We ugh, made sure the area was clear. You don't need to worry about a thing."
・She gave you one of her knowing smiles and you knew something was up...it made you nervous.
・Once Michonne disappeared, you heard the crunching of leaves.
・Quickly you whipped out your knife and swiped as you turned, only to be met by a large hand grabbing your arm.
"Thought I taught ya better than tha'" Daryl said, letting go of your arm and giving you a smile
"You did. I knew it was you. Heavy boots were giving me a heads up."
・It was then that you noticed his appearance; washed, with a clean black button up shirt, and a fresh pair of jeans.
・You quirked an eyebrow.
"What is this Dixon?"
Hesitating, Daryl rubbed the back of his neck with his calloused hand, eyes darting briefly to the ground before meeting yours.
“Been thinkin’,” he started, shifting his weight between one leg to the other. “’Bout us… and all the shit we've gone through...”
You stepped closer to him. Closing the gap. And your heart started pumping a whole lot faster.
"-You know I ain’t good with words,” he muttered in a low voice. “Specially ain’t good at all this… romantic stuff. But you—you’re the best thing...that has ever happened to me. Hell, you're the only thing that makes sense in this goddamn world.”
・Your cheeks started to redden but you let him talk
From his pocket, Daryl pulled out something small and clenched in his hand, his fingers trembling just slightly.
You let out a soft, "oh." Thinking this day would never come.
When he opened his hand, there it was—a simple, gold ring.
“I know it ain’t much,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"It's perfect," the tears had started to fall now. You didn't even notice you had begun to cry.
Daryl sniffed, not realising he had shed a few tears as well. "...I just want you to know… you’re my family now. Always have been.”
He held the ring out to you.
"I don't know how long we have in this world. But I know I wanna spend it with you."
There was a moment of silence. One you let hang in the air, not truly believing this was happening.
"So… what d’ya say?”
・The look on his face was pure and full of love.
"God I love you Daryl Dixon."
・Slipping the ring on your finger, you realised how comfortably it fit. You gave Daryl a knowing look and he gave you a sheepish one.
"...measured your finger when you were sleepin'...also had help from Carol..."
You couldn't help but laugh.
"You know I'm getting you one, right? I want everyone to know you're taken. That Daryl Dixon is mine."
"Wouldn't expect anything else."
・Then he kissed like it was your very first and last kiss.
The kiss was unlike anything you’d ever felt—raw, deep, and so full of emotion that it left you breathless. His lips claimed yours with an intense passion.
His hands trembled slightly, and cradled your face. Holding you as if you were the most precious thing in the world; well, to him you were.
Pulling apart, he rested his forget against your own and whispered:
“Ain’t never lettin’ you go.”
In that moment, the world outside could have crumbled, and it wouldn’t have mattered. All that existed was you and him.
Tumblr media
𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑹
・Being married to Daryl Dixon meant having someone completely and utterly loyal to you.
・He calls you his family; and when he does so, you know it comes from a place of deep sincerity and respect.
・Instead of grand romantic displays, Daryl shows his love in quiet ways, like fixing something for you, preparing food, or just staying by your side during tough times.
・Daryl would be the ultimate protector, keeping you safe at all costs.
・You have your own place together. Not too far from everyone but secluded enough that you feel independent
・A common part of your nightly routine is cuddling up together on the couch and eventually falling asleep. (Daryl already having locked all the doors and has weapons around the house - just in case. He's not leaving anything to chance.)
・You've both shared everything you know about survival with one another.
・One of your ideas was to make a book about it. How to survive in this mess of a world; Daryl has fully encouraged it. He said it would come in handy for the next generations...
・Daryl thrives in the quiet moments of your marriage—sitting together by a fire, riding his motorcycle with you behind him, working on something side by side in comfortable silence.
・He also has a way of surprising you with such tenderness. E.g., brushing hair from your face or resting his forehead against yours in silent appreciation.  
𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔
"Look at that stupid dumbass man, ha! Oh shit that's my dumbass-" (Daryl)
Short & bossy x Tall & follows them around
"Think they'll try us?" x "Fuck I hope so."
"Why Are You Babying Me?" (Daryl) x "'Cause I Know You Like It" (You)  
𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆
Forced Proximity
Strong Feelings (Thinking It's Hate - WRONG It's Love)
Enemies to Lovers  
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈
Sex On Fire by Kings of Leon
Into My Arms by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
One More Hour by Tame Impala
148 notes · View notes
snugglyporos · 2 days ago
Text
// Christ I wish I could go back in time and erase concepts like 'unconscious bias' from the world of popular lingo because people apply it to things that they don't apply to. No, most people do not possess an unconscious bias that working class people are worth less than rich people, that's your classist ideology being applied to things that you shouldn't apply it to. We might call that a conscious bias.
What is actually happening is a mix of tropes being blended together and not changing over time. Namely, the idea that the more individuals there are, the weaker they are. We see this everywhere; fifty ninjas? Weak. Not a problem. One ninja? Super powerful. Legend. This exists in everything from James Bond movies to comics to Power Rangers.
The reality is that, narratively speaking, the random cannon fodder between the protagonist and the final boss do not matter. They don't! In real life they would, but if you tried to give ever goon a backstory and explain it you would have a shit story because the audience does not care about the backstory of unnamed good #23. After they take the punch from the protagonist, the audience has entirely forgotten they existed.
Which means that, narratively speaking, the killing of the main villain is more important and more impactful than the killing of some random goon. Now, if you're a good writer this shouldn't be the case. But this too, comes from the blending of genres and tropes.
In the late 1980s, fiction became more violent and more visceral. This means that a lot more violence was happening! And yet, writers still wanted to have their protagonist show that they were the protagonist, because people were all in on moral relativism. People would be like 'well, there's no difference between the hero and the villain if the hero kills the villain.'
The response was a lot of heroes started adopting a weird kind of no killing rule; Batman will break your fucking spine but kill the guy who just blew up a building? That's too far! 'I'm not like you, a guy who kills people, I just cripple them for life!'
And again, this is what happens when genre conventions (the hero should be morally superior than the villain, or at least attempt to be) mixing with trope developments (everything now needs to be brutal and violent to reflect real life).
Now, the circle has completed itself, where we're once again back to 1985, where people are like 'actually no, the hero should fucking kill that guy.' You'll probably be a big fan of the Death Wish movies and The Dark Knight Strikes Back; you know, things that lots of proto-fascists really love because they reinforce the notion that actually, heroes should wield violence against their enemies and impose their will through abject terror.
The reality is, people aren't sitting around going 'my work should reflect the idea that workers are less important than the boss' it's that narratively, the random goons exist to be smacked down to prepare the audience for the big bad, because rising action requires that there be rising challenges. This is mixing along with personal tastes in media.
Now, you could, for example, turn this new trope on its head and ask whether the Punisher murdering every jaywalker and low level drug dealer with extreme violence makes him a villain, because his ideal is that any lawbreaker should be murdered instantly no matter how low the crime. You might also argue that the trope should actually be that the grunts shouldn't be killed by the hero, but the guy who organized them should, because he's much worse than they are.
You could also argue that, the reason why the hero doesn't just kill the villain is that murder is wrong? Even if you think it's morally justified? I think people forget, when they fantasize about an ideal French Revolution, that the most common crime people were executed for was pickpocketing, and every day they would execute the guys who got caught working the crowds at the executions the day before. More poor people got killed in the French Revolution than rich people; you should probably keep that in mind!
Because the core reason you probably want your hero to not kill people in general is that you then have to ask who deserves it and your answer will inevitably include a lot of people you might actually like! You probably don't want heroes taking vague concepts like justice into their own hands because inevitably that makes them into the Death Wish protagonist, deciding that what really needs to happen is for a white guy with a gun to just start shooting up inner cities.
You don't want your hero to start killing people because this is corrosive and it will inevitably result in comparisons between people who got killed.
So no, it's not some kind of unconscious bias, it's because we've melted a worldwide demand for bloodshed and violence with established genre tropes and if you removed one or the other people would complain and be very unhappy.
Or, I guess you could go on and say that Freddy Kruger is anti-marxist because he only targets teenagers instead of people who really deserve it.
Tumblr media
59K notes · View notes