#what if she chooses him over family
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my sister sends a picture of her boyfriend??? smiling over brunch that's a wtf moment
#sucks even more because i can't dislike him. he looks nice#he smiled nice he looks caring#they must be being very happy#it's just my sister isn't supposed to get a boyfriend#i don't want to be left behind#even more than i already am#i can't not make it about me#because i'm me#what if she chooses him over family#and what if she has all the things i feel i'm barred from getting#she's building a life#and i still feel like mine is ending#and i want to see her life i really do#it comforts me#as well as making me feel really small#diary entries
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clarazz are so strong if i was (vaguely in love with and) slightly possessive of my best friend and the whole world was obsessed with him (like i was) id crash out đ
#m!ik#ameri chima vine shiida mephisto? whos next henri?#not to mention eiko purson and lied đ (who really i mention specifically bc they apparently kin him which is soo funny. also they make up#boku trio together! though if we were making a list list im not sure id add em a tier above any other misfitâŚ)#not all romantic obsession to be perfectly clear^^ but they all wanna stand by irumas side the same đł#ameri and chima who want to stand by iruma romantically and academically/socially/powerwiseâŚ#vine and eiko too but theyre like. gag characters ik weâre a comedy series but everything surronding these two is a bit so im#putting them in the same adjecent group of side characters who are crushing#shiida who wants to be his family#mephisto who wants to be his righthand man/royal advisor/wants to make him king#(again misfits in general but lied and purson i single out bc. boku trio / young king duo / music duo u get it#id group bachiko opera balam and maybe even kalego with these other guys but⌠mmm#mmm bachiko certainly loves her student and opera/balam/kalego are all protective over iruma in their own ways id argue that when u compare#operas his family. bachiko is his master#kalego and balam are his teachers and his familiar/the first person he told his secret to#theyre all (seemingly) satisfied with their closeness with iruma/comfortable with their relationship as it is. theyre secure#the list above are all sorta Longing for something more#they want to be important to iruma#theyre not satisfied! they want more! and the story specifically centers around this idea for an arc or two or many#which btw i love i think iruma deserves having so many people who want to be close to him and who admire him#omg i forgot kirio HELLOâŚ. hesâŚa little differently obsessed.#lets group him by himself but near the ameri/chima and eiko/vine section if u know what i mean#(note: its been a while since ive read chapters with shiida in em but from memory i do think she sees iruma as a little brother-#which is such a specific bond to long for; i think she wants to be someone he trusts first#followed by someone who can protect him followed by someone who he can learn from)#demons are selfish; i think its really sweet that theyre all pretty respectful of how iruma chooses to spend his time esp for being demons#cuz guess what! irumas selfish too. a true demon. he wants more and more and thats kinda what its all about#tldr everyone wants to stand next to iruma; clarazz (who stand next to him as his soulmates) have feelings about it lol#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun
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thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such
#yes Iâm making all these posts in a row#itâs bc Iâm obsessed atm#mypost#Bodkin#bodkin netflix#PLEASSEEEEE#WHY DID THE PAPER MACHE HEAD LOOK LIKE GILBERT#CAN WE HAVE AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT EVERYTHING ABOUT GILBERT BEING FORCED TO SWALLOW/CHOKE ON HIS WORDS (recorder) BUT THAT SOUNDâHIS#STORY (HIS pov. however âabstractâ and detatched from consequence it may have been) BEING WHAT CATCHES EMMY AND DOVEs ATTENTION TO SAVE HIM#. LIKE#OUGHHHHHWJEHQIHSJSBWJXNAJSNNQJZNWHXJWHXJEBXNDUSBJS#AND THE WOLF IMAGERY PLS SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT#IS THERE MORE THAN THE SURFACE? what do I not understand? as im writing this out am thinking: ok its cause dove is a lone wolf#WAITTTT WAIT OMFG AND when she remembers that her mom told her to howl when she was lost⌠bc wolves actually have family and Iâm p sure the#lone wolf thing is a myth⌠after she realizes that sheâs not alone and she can choose to interact#GOD GRAHHHHH IM GOING CRAZY OVER THIS SHOW#other things Iâm thinking abt (will maybe make a post abt?)#OUGH YEAH OK dove symbolism: wolf/lone wolf. sunglasses/shielding herself (OUGH AND SHE PICKS UP THAT XTRA LAYER OF DEFENCE WHEN SHE COMES#BACK TO HOMELAND/familiar space⌠bc sheâs vulnerable to her past hereâŚ. hrahhh#. also LMFAO when she calls the sheriff a piggy#hrmmmmm aughhh I want to dissect Gilbert and Seamusâs friendship oughhh#ok wait even more on Dove: I want to dig into when she calls Emmy Emmy vs Sizargd (will have to look up the spelling whoops) âwas it always#blatant manipulation? how much of it is a reflection of what she is? hrmmmm thereâs so much there I think#another Q: why did Emmy call the tech guy Shitpants again at the end? ik there were the stakes I just wanna dig into her character more. why#would she say the shitpants thing instead of manipulating him in other ways? (not saying her was was unreasonable at all lol-j wanna dig#into her character.#OH prob something abt the whole âher needing to release her angerâ thing? idk ahh I want to analyze her more
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i am going to wind up on team #justiceforarmand but it's going to be so situational. justice for armand specifically during the period of time louis is all "oooh who needs labels." a very different kind of justice for armand on matters pertaining to claudia.
#usually i would be like 70 years???#that's just your husband. sit in your choices as u might say#obsessing over your first love isn't going to change anything about what you decided to do and who you decided to do it with#but in light of claudia i'm forced to be like hm. well if you just wanted to torment him by dangling yourself in front of him for decades#that would be valid. like you should probably do more and worse but the time for that was before he did the atrocities to your child#so. here we are!#press says iwtv#interview with the vampire#the thing is i love claudia in all mediums she's my girl#but this version is so vulnerable and actually desperate for louis to see her and choose her#whereas while that's not absent from book!claudia she is notably higher on both louis and lestat's list of priorities#and i think more of a player. not that show!claudia isn't shooting her shot but u would never catch book claudia joining the bad news cult#because she's that desperate to be loved#book!lestat genuinely wanted her to stop being mad at him for cursing her to exist in the way they do and go back to playing happy families#evil of my evil etc#louis is sick of their mutual misery but armand really had to fuck with his head to bring the madeline situation about#also i am faintly annoyed that we don't see her souring on the possibility of making friends within the coven more directly#like did she conclude they'd turned too inward to be friends the moment she got that dress?#anyway. regardless. does she not deserve love? and mass murder?
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oh my god!!! this fucking guy...what a character
haunted by his dead wife, haunted by his wife
and now he declares her dead so that he can justify taking care of his sister and mother over confessing to her murder
ahhhhh, his mind
#the double#yelling in excitement here#fully understand the impossible situation he is in#love that him declaring his love and risking his life doesn't change what he is missing#he likes to tell his story as one of struggle but he always takes the easy way out#sure - dad died due to conspiracy. he is under pressure to excel and avenge#but while his flashbacks show how he recognizes what she sacrificed for him it all seems laced with expectation#expectation that she would compromise for him and support him#that she would oppose her father#yes he loves her but ah li is the way for him to improve his standing#he tells her he loves her: after she put in the work to save herself from what he has done#he risked his life when he has no time to think but the second he recognizes the guard and knows he won't die it has the aftertaste of him#being satisfied with himself#pleasing everyone at the same time. risking the lifes of others and himself but also nothing at the same time#has to kill his wife for the princess. doesn't succeed#as if that is some type of balance#i get the fear and how he has to protect his family and his plan of revenge but i wan't to shake him at the same time#*hurt voice* now you don't play dead anymore??!! now that you want to cut all ties with me??!!! but you are dead!!! so you have to understa#nd that i choose my 'living' family over you
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do you ever go do autism crazy for something you can feel it in ur chest. like itâs hard to breathe almost itâs making you gasp for breath and jump around physically. got an adrenaline rush thinking abt Kirigiri.
#GODDDDD. I LOVE HER SM AUTISM WOMAN.#I go insane thinking abt her and her life and how she develops in THH and past it#and how Makoto and her literally bring out the best AND worst in each other#and her narrative parallels w Byakuya. the way theyâre so similar that theyâre hypocrites for disliking each other#at first and then the way theyâre indispensable in that theyâre they only other one that Understands why theyâre like that#I cannot word my thoughts for her nearly as coherently unfortunately so no paragraphs tonight. Iâm just going to start growling like a dog#the way she fucking commands so much respect and control and how strong she is#and the fact that she is constantly reinforcing that strength by shoring up any weakness or vulnerability with terrifying effectiveness#that leaves her invulnerable but completely alone. and for a long time that seemed like a good thing#and she may even believe it is#but you hear the way she talks about her father and you realize sheâs HUMAN. she doesnât want to be an island all the time.#she has emotions just like anyone else and being viewed as though she doesnât is incredibly alienating and reinforces her isolation#if she really didnât care she wouldnât still be mad that her father left her alone. it wouldnât still pick at her the way it does#it wouldnât drive her to abandon the entire purpose of her family by revealing herself as the Ultimate Detective in order to get to him#and then thereâs Makoto and Byakuya challenging those aspects of her all over again#Byakuya sees the worst of her. he believes what she puts forth as herself and sees that ruthless cold efficiency#and he isnât wrong to believe those things. as much as she wears a mask it isnât fake that she has those qualities#but then comes Makoto who doesnât see through her mask either but chooses to believe she must be human somewhere even if heâs not sure#he continues to trust her with absolutely no reason to and it feeds into her own ruthless efficiency by making him her Guinea out of sorts#but it also means thereâs someone on the shoreline of her island. they want to come in. Will she let them?#that island is painful but not more painful than being vulnerable.#hhhh#Iâm crazy
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JUSTICE FOR DAVINA CLAIRE I'M SO FUCKING SERIOUS FUCK OFF OH MY FUCKING GOD
#CAMI AND DAVINA GONE IN ONE EPISODE??!?!!??#YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING FOR REAL#(davina perma died an episode later both they both died in one episode right before that)#also this season has been slacking on marcel and the ep post-davina's death kicked him up several notches#he said all the shit i take issue with about the always and forever family bs#he hit that shit out of the park#also camille's death being all about comforting klaus fucking pissed me off#it was until she was scared right at the end that it was more about her#and her last words COULD have beenthe immortality line. but then they had to have her bolster klaus again instead#at least we got others mourning her after#but davina????#those bitchass ancestors forced her boyfriend to kill her then nearly shredded her soul#and she could've been resurrected. but of course fucking family came first#she had to die screaming for mercy alone as the ancestors tried to carve her soul from fucking existence#(and though i'm mad at elijah and freya for it it makes sense for them to do it#(what pissed me off was them and klaus then telling marcel that they were justified and he should just suck it up and understand)#(like no take the consequences let the man mourn)#(freya claiming family to kol too like girl i don't know you. and this 'family' loves you more than it ever loved me)#(y'all only love me on my deathbed)#(if being family means we kill each other's partners [which happens time and time again] then fuck being in this family)#like i don't actually want the mikaelsons dead. but also i hope super vampire marcel kills you all#hope kol gets away from you people because you are not family to him. you aren't.#but mostly davina. poor fucking davina#her and kol are my bonnie and enzo - finally finding someone who will choose them not just use them#only for death at the hand of allies#davina clair was an abused teenager you all used and who justifiably hated y'all#and she deserved more than to die like this. die basically three fucking times over still helping in the end#truly have not seen a witch this blatantly used and mistreated since the bonnie bennet#davina claire#the originals
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You know .
#my mental breakdown this summer was actually completely explainable and while i did/said things i dont stand by#i dont actually think i was the bad guy here. interestingly.#i had to help my mom move and it triggered a huge panic attack bc of past trauma from moving house#and so now my family is saying im going insane#and my friend kept egging me on to ask out his friend#who he and i had developed a really nice friendship but he did kind of like. seem like he was trying to be my personal savior#idk i had a big crush on him bc ofc i fucking did no man has ever treated me that well before#then i jokingly tell him how i feel and he goes all serious#oh and it was four days after the 17th anniversary of my fathers suicide#who i think had bpd/ptsd#so i may be developing the same disorder . and itâs freaking me out#this guy claims he knew i had a crush on him which actually means the way he was talking to me means he was to keep my attention#(he sent a picture of him zoomed in naked hours before this so EXCUSEEE ME FOR ASSUMING)#and i started getting upset with the way i was being talked to and asked him to just say he was talking to me that way for attention#for my own peace of mind. like mind u we were talking every day throughout the day for months#voice calls would last over 5 hours. that kind of thing#i snap at him finally but immediately apologize#he then sends me a screenshot of his ex telling him âyou have experience in dealing with mentally ill womenâ#followed by him saying âyoure right. teehee love youâ#so yeah duh i went to the fucking hospital itâs like someone hit me with a hammer in the head three times#then my fucking friend who goaded me into confessing to him tells me when i get out that he feels like im trying to make him choose between#when all i ever did was apologize profusely over and over again#fuck my entire ass man. oh and then two weeks later my best friend abruptly told me she was moving to maine#in two weeks. well no she didnt say that. she said can i stay at yours for a week#and i said um. what? and she said yeah im moving. and then used the fact that she had to get an abortion weeks ago as an excuse for not#telling me. and i said dude what the fuck? and she never talked to me again! so#one two three all gone BAM BAM BAM#oh this was also a week before my birthday#the trauma from moving wasnt actually abt tbe moving it was about how i was treated when we were moving#or basically any stressful family event
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Sorry just remembered like over ten years ago my sister tried to play Oppression Olympics⢠between Sasuke and Neji, claiming Sasuke's had a harder life and like yeah his entire family was killed and his brother made him watch it and that sucks.
Neji's family literally owns him.
Look I don't want to compare them or anything, and having to watch your family die is, objectively awful, but being actively kept as a slave by your own family is also an objectively awful thing lol
#Naruto#Neji Hyuga#Sasuke Uchiha#and like also Sasuke lives in pain from what happened because he actively chooses to let it consume him#that's like a major character flaw of his#it's literally his entire motivation for joining Orochimaru#like losing his family and being forced to watch was a one-time event that Sasuke *actively* refuses to move on from#(two-time if you count the time he at twelve years old picked a fight with Itachi and thought he'd win for some reason)#Neji however lives suffering because he quite literally has no choice#Neji doesn't have a choice in being a slave that's just what his life is#I'm not trying to claim that one has it worse than the other#but I feel like that context is also pertinent#yes I've been kind of bitter about this for over 10 years lol#but I will *never* get over my sister's ''oh well what does *Neji* have to be miserable about?'' comment#it's like ''he's literally a slave boo'' lol#there were other characters she was comparing him too at the time but Sasuke was the big one haha#trash king rambles#actually you know what I'll say it#compared to basically every other ''tragic backstory'' character in the series#Sasuke's is actually pretty tame#yeah he lost his family but at least pretty much everyone still loves him#Kimimaro was raised in a cage and then also watched his entire family die#Gaara's dad tried to assassinate him several times and his entire village despised him#Naruto was treated like a literal monster by basically the entire village and he also has no family#Sasuke's just the most dramatic of the Trauma Orphans⢠honestly like get over it lol
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the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.
#A BAD PERSON TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE WOULD'VE GOTTEN YOU FIRED AND EVICTED IN WINTER IN ALASKA YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WHICH I DID NOT DO#he was renting a room from my dad. for cheaper than he wouldve been able to find anywhere else. his brother was too#his brother didn't pay rent for over 6 months and my dad just forgave him the debt because my dad knew how much of a difference it wouldve#made when he was that age. and i had told him ex friend was family to me & my dad applied that to the brother too. bc he is a good person.#and one of the strongest parts of my support system. and i didn't say a word to him about what was happening until i knew he already had a#plan for when he would be ending ex friend's lease. so there would be no subconscious impact on ex friend's housing either#mgmt at work straight up asked me if i thought ex friend should be fired immediately multiple times and i'm in retrospect livid they put me#in that position but told them to go by the strike system in the employee handbook and to follow policy that ex friend knew perfectly. that#it couldn't be on me as acting assistant manager to choose#and after 10 months of workplace harassment i got a different job to save my life. ex friend didn't get fired.#he did saw trap shit to my brain!!!!!! jesus christ#he moved cross country to live with his long time gf he called his wife despite never having met irl. to a way more conservative state.#despite being gay. and she left him this summer lol#hadn't checked his twitter in over a year when it got pulled up frm an old link and i saw that. and when he was already at a low point too#me voice. oh no who could've seen this coming. from how you behave in every relationship in your life#may delete this in the morning. but i have to talk about it sometimes#i'm never reaching out for closure both bc he wouldn't give me any and because i know it would trigger him and i don't intentionally trigge#people. unlike him :)#vampire pit#like. i have to talk about it sometimes. i have to talk about it.#jam posts
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Tell me how does it feel When your heart grows cold? How does it feel? How should I feel? Tell me how does it feel To treat me like you do?
#aliasedit#alias#irina derevko#julian sark#userthing#irina x sark#irina x khasinau#isplus#myedit#that sark/khasinau gif... the pure hatred in khasinau's eyes... INSANE.#khasinau feeling threatened by a 20 year old will NEVER not be funny. i mean he was right. he was literally right. right about everything.#he knew that irina was planning on killing him and that sark was counting on her to do it. knew that sark was on his way to replacing him.#knew that irina and sark were already making plans together - plans that did not involve him in any way.#and it's insane to think about how he probably watched sark grow up. probably knew him as a child.#probably didn't take him seriously - didn't see him as a threat - until it was too late.#and after he realized what was happening - he also realized how many chances he had to put a stop to it.#and how it wouldn't have mattered anyway. killing sark in his sleep when he was ten years old wouldn't have fixed anything.#irina would've just started all over again with someone else. because she had always intended to replace him with someone younger.#with someone who had no life before her. with someone EASILY impressed EASILY manipulated EASILY led.#the reason why she'd choose sark over khasinau - khasinau who she first met when she was eighteen;#khasinau who was her kgb superior; who followed her into the criminal world;#who chose her over his past over his family over his country over every single person in his life;#who stayed by her side in her shadow now content with following HER orders -#the ONLY reason the ONLY explanation possible is that she was there to follow sark's progress from the very beginning.#she was there when he saw a gun for the first time in his life. and she was there when he first killed someone.#she was there every step of the way. and she knows him better than he knows himself.#and she'd choose sark over khasinau because khasinau knows what it's like to have power over her and use that power against her.#and putting him in a situation where he might be tempted to again is unthinkable. he might remember what it's like - to have freedom.#sark doesn't want freedom from her. she made sure of it. surrendering to the cia when it's sark on the outside is a better option.#like who would you choose. someone you made from clay all by yourself or someone who used to control your life when you were eighteen.
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Honestly, sometimes it's not even about the Joker
#its about feeling safe and secure. to feel loved. and to feel like he can trust his family. that he even has one#he wants to trust that his family would keep him safe. to choose /him/#shelia took the ability to trust those meant to keep him safe away from him. and batman failed to give it back#shelia picked the joker over jason. she let jason die in order to try and have her own way#and certainly. ive no doubt that THAT is how jason sees that final showdown in utrh#he didn't even want batman to kill the joker himself. no. he just wanted batman to sit there and let the joker die#in his mind. it shouldn't have been hard.#because doesn't batman kill innocents everyday. with his own inaction against the joker? surely. /surely/ he'll let jason do what he needs#all he has to is -let jason kill the joker- all he has to do. is choose his son#do you think he views batman stopping him because of his morals. as batman choosing what benefits himself over jason#and the batarang. to -kill- hurt jason to achieve his own benefit#jason died that day. the slice of that batarang was just another hit of the crowbar#jason todd#aughhh. fuck it new tag#jason todd analysis#i be talking#sorry this entrie post is in the tags i like talking here more lol#makes it easier to get my thoughts out i feel
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Just realized reading the piggyback script that the Jonathan and Nancy scene at the cabin, with them covering the window with the wood, parallels to the Steve and Nancy scene at the end of s2 where theyâre hanging up the blanket to make the shed look indiscernible for possessed Will⌠both conversations involve her saying she was impressed with them caring for the kids⌠and both give the vibe that theyâre not exactly not not together with it sort of being up in the air đ
#byler#Whats does it mean?#idkâŚ#i just want Nancy single atp đ#like sheâs got not only Steve and Jonathan having feelings for her#but also Fred đ#like this girl does not need to be juggling all of these guys who canât grasp that she is more than something for them to win over#and itâs also funny bc upon Nancy insisting that things between her and Jonathan are going perfect#(we know theyâre not)#and Fred makes a joke saying#âim still rooting for my altâ#with implications there is an alternate option in this scenario#i just hope her choosing any which way isnât partly decided by Jonathan dying and him not being an option anymore#like it took 4 seasons for Nancy to mourn barb#imagine Jonathan dying in the last season with no time for mourning for the characters#especially Nancy and his family?..#and thatâs not even considering how it would make his whole arc of having others rely on him even if it means sacrificing what he wants#just disintegrate#itâs just bleh#but if they all stay alive and she chooses neither of them and itâs implied in the future she might end up with Jon#i could get with that
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Betrayal for the not-so-nice asks?
betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?
Oooh so i sortâve answered that already but Iâll go a little into Panamâs âbetrayalâ. When they first meet, V thinks heâs found a sort of kin in a fellow ex-nomad, until he realizes that Panamâs ex status is more akin to a studio sitcom where a kid packs a suitcase and only makes it as far as down the street; still, heâs got this yearning for this idea of family, this things heâs never quite experienced, especially the way Panam can just go back home and itâs still home for her. The betrayal happens in a scene in my one-day-will-be-finished long fic where eventually the rest of the Aldecaldos (idk if anyone else has noticed, but other than Panamâs close band of friends, most of them⌠donât really like V the majority of the quest line. Lots of snarky comments as youâre passing through camp. Add in his origin story, well. Honestly it makes sense they donât trust him) vote to ban him entirely because they believe he may be a double agent similar to Nash with the uptick in raffen raids. (This is especially double-edged bc my V, when he finds the notes from Nash in the Wraith camp, decides to give it to her instead of tossing it like Johnny tells him to. She thanks him and trusts him more because of the gesture, but she obviously confides to her close family like Mitch and Carol about Nashâs betrayal and they donât exactly hang out w V in the same capacity she does to not think he wouldnât do the same.)
Tysm! :> ( not-so-nice OC asks )
#stomping in a glass house#i should probably mention⌠i dont think the Aldecaldos are the âbad guysâ in this#they DO have reason to be suspicious of V yknow?#and i dont even fault Panam for when she does choose her family over a guy she only just knows#but it really wounds V#not just his pride but also at the start she keeps calling him shiv shiv shiv#and he gets furious like listen. I RENOUNCED my family. i abandoned them#just bc âyou couldnât fucking manage doesnât mean you canât give me the credit for that Herculean task#and he does definitely feel disgust towards her for choosing family bc for him the concept of family is reprehensible#to him family means âgroup of people who abuse you or eventually willâ yknow#and it sort of reinforces the whole âI will always be a monsterâ outlook he has#so he continues to lean into it bc its all anyone will ever see him as besides. whatâs the point of trying to change
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Solas says I know a place and takes you to the middle of a swamp where he insults your culture, religious beliefs, and then dumps you.
#yeah im still thinking about this and its the next day#he might be telling the truth about the Vallaslin but my inquisitor did not let him remove it#Iâve played her as very proud to be dalish and believes in elven gods so it would be out of character even if solas says something else#maybe thatâs what it represented then but it is not what it is now and she chooses to move forward#about the breakup ⌠this is not the first time a man takes me on a date and dumps me đđ but hey um wtf#honestly my lavellan does love him and is hurt but she has to be so many things to so many different people#thereâs bigger things at stake and bigger problem to deal with at this time than whatever he's hiding or lying about#im pretty sure he was going to say something else not about the vallaslin#but his fear is dying alone becasue i saw it in the fade and yet !!!! he pushes everyone away he picks fights with everyone no matter whos#in the party he didnt come to the wicked grace game he never opens up beyond what he has seen in the fade. he is a fixed point#i wanna shake him by the shoulders and YELL WHATA RE YOU DOING you could have it all someone who loves you and a wonderf#a wonderful found family. he is kind and gentle but he is also so full of ANGER and he is so set on things being as he sees them.#Cole cant change because to Solas cole is always a spirit. the dalish are misguided and YOU Lavellan are just different YOURE special#the meaning of the vallaslin cant change because to him it represents slavery and it is in stone to him. things dont change with time they#are fixed. like things in the fade it what it was preserved. he is trying to hold on to a past that doesnt exist that has moved forward.#Solas says you cant change yourself by wishing. but i would say wishing for change is THE required prerequisite for change. a little though#a little idea a little wish that something was different better. but to#why cant you move forward Solas what the fuck are you holding onto so intesely#OKAY WHATEVER IM DONE WITH THIS ESSAY IM OVER IT ITS FINE ITS SO FINE
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Yes, I won't be there around you all the time. I won't be able to wipe your tears with my fingers all the time. I don't miss you as much as you do when we are apart. I roam the world, with dreams and aspirations as huge and as wide as the sky. They tell me you haven't been a good wife forget being a good lover but it is you I want to come back home to. I will not be home for months but I will send letters, ten pages long for every month with a small love poetry that will only make sense to you. When I win the world, I am a star for them, a performer and artist in their eyes, a nomad who roams around leaving pieces of their creation everywhere but it's you I choose to come back every time every night in the warm bed that you make. It's your lips that I seek to steal a kiss from and it's your embrace that would take away all the tiredness from my limbs.
#samridhi speaks#what is this#samridhi in her feels#love is a choicw#could I ever tske a break from my dreams and aspirations never? that sometimes makes me wonfer where would I stand in a family setting#especially indian famililes#sure I will bitch and cry about my work get angry and stomp my feet hard everytime I do a dance step wrong#but fuck it I love it I want all the beautiful and ugly parts with it#I want to see the world dance in it and write hundreds of poetry and stories#but it's only one person I want to come home to who knows me that my heart solely belongs to him in whole#there's so much to see so much to learn and create#I have had some boys telling me oh you would make a good girlfriend#if you break up or something and if I am singlr I would literally marry you later on#and somehow that makes me see the because oh yes a woman practicing dance is pleasing to the eye and she will be traditional#and she'll be soft hearted so yeah good bahu#what do you even know about me#I would choose dance over everythingâš#I will literally bleed cry sweat around to make things work#these guys think yeah she wears pretty dresses is a devotee of krishna and all so nice snd good no squabling#some told me you are pretty you shoulf pass your beauty to the next gen#and I was gagging internally#I want to create a legacy for every woman after me who is enriched with art wisdom and knowledge#whose face shall shine with divine wisdom from years of seeking knowledge#fuck taking breaks from career to be thst supposedly good gf or wife#my parents spend so muvh money and time fot my studies and dancing#my mother sits with me as I create and discuss dance and I would leave that all to be your idea of a good bahu and mother
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