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cahmilo · 2 years ago

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3AM Shenanigans ㅡ carlos m.

pairing: carlos madrigal x reader

genre: crack, fluff

word count: 3k

tags: energetic and caffeinated reader, kind of ooc carlos, established relationship, modern au, texting fic, cursing, not proofread

summary: after downing a cup of coffee at midnight, you found it hard to fall back asleep. while bothering your boyfriend, you didn't expect a surprise visit from him at 3AM in the morning.

[repost] short drabble-ish based from this incorrect quote

11:59.

File Successfully Submitted.

"FUCK YEAH!!!!" You screamed at the top of your lungs. Jumping out of your chair, you immediately broke in to a physical explosion of body shaking and jumping to non-existent music.

Having successfully passed an assignment a minute before it's due? It's practically your talent at this point. Kind of unhealthy, but you loved the rush and pressure more than crunching it a day before with absolutely 0 ideas on mind. And this, this literature review?

It's definitely bad.

But at least it's done.

"Now what the fuck am I gonna do with this?" You asked yourself, holding your now half-empty cup of coffee. You underestimated the amount you needed and you were stuck with two options. If you left it out, it will go bad. if you drank it now, oh boy you're gonna have the sugar spike of your life. But what's life without a little goof in them?

Taking a big sip, you downed the sweet mocha caramel oreo java chip honey with 2 shots frappucino and whatever the heck more sugar-containing liquid you had asked for.

Putting it back and getting ready for the night, you settled in your bed and cuddled yourself with your boyfriend's hoodie and resisting the urge to annoy him late at night by sending random TikToks that you found on your For You page. Looking back at the clock which was now 12:30, you turned of all gadgets and lights and hoped to go to sleep as you closed your eyes.

━

1:30 AM.

Your eyes were still as wide as an owls and you're starting to regret the last sip of your too sweet caffeinated drink because you can't even take a small nap. So much time has passed and there was still no sign of the sandman bringing you to dreamland.

Having found no use of waiting to go to sleep, you muttered a curse as you grabbed your phone and hovered over Carlos' text messages. You contemplated bothering your boyfriend with your 1AM antics, but then realized that he wouldn't be bothered since he has his phone on DND at night.

You: sent a link.

You: was watching tiktoks and this dog reminds me of you

You: fooken emo hair

You: bEcAusE ToNoIgHT wILL bE tHe nOiGhT tHaT i WilL fAhL foR yEww

You: i can probably spam you as much as i want since you said you had your phone on mute

You: sent a link.

You: DUCKS ARE WATERPROOF. turns out they have this fur that makes them waterproof

You: just like dandelions

You: if i were to duct tape a duck with dandelions would that make them extra waterproof

You: lmfao duct tape

You: duck tape

You: IM CRYINGG DKHKJGH

Carlos: what the hell is wrong with you

You: oh hi amor

You: why you up so early

Carlos: ?? the question is why aren't you asleep so early

You: I can't sleep

Carlos: did you watch those horror cases again

You: NO

You: i finished my essay and i couldnt sleep because of the coffee

You: -welp i kinda did watch a horror documentary before that but its not that scary

You: okay fine i cant sleep im both caffeinated and terrified the tiktok i saw before the duck one had a scary jumpscare

Carlos: lmfao pussy ass

You: STOP IM NOT

Carlos: if u say so

You:....

You: i still cant sleep :<

Carlos: is that my problem

You: no

You: yk what im just gonna watch some tiktoks... ure obliged to open all of them in the morning

You: sent a link.

You: LOOK AT THIS ONE. BLACKPINK JENNIE FANCAM SHES SO FINE

You: would you be okay if i leave you for jennie

You: she kinda has a better ass

You: and i've seen you sway yours its not really the best ngl

You: sent a link.

You: sent a link.︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎

You: WHAT THE FUCK

You: SOMEONES AT MY DOOR

You: THEYRE KNOCKING

You: ITS PROBABLY SOME DRUNK DUDE THAT WANDERED IN MY HALLWAYS

You: OR A MURDERER

You: Carlos save me my knight in shining armor

You: THE KNOCKS ARE GETTING LOUDER

You: its probably a ghost or a monster im not having this rn

Carlos: why don't u let it in

You: THATS TERRIBLE ADVICE

Carlos: you wouldn't know unless u find out

You: and if its a murderer and i die, you won't have a lover anymore

Carlos: i can always find someone else

You: ?????!$?$?$ YOURE AWFUL

Carlos: just open the goddamn door idiot

Carlos: its cold out here

ㅡ

"Oh!" You jumped onto bed and immediately dashed through the door after reading his last texts. Carefully, you twisted the knob and opened it slightly, looking at the gap to see who it is. When you saw the love your life in his maroon hoodie and black pajamas, you instantly opened the door wide and jumped to his arms. Carlos almost stumbled but he managed to catch you as he put his arms under your thighs.

"Jeez you're more energetic than I thought" Carlos mumbled in your embrace.

"How did you get here so fast?! You live on the other building!" You asked, finally letting go from the hug as you cupped his face and showered him with kisses. Carlos being used to your chaotic energy only giggled as he pushed you inside and locked the door.

"I snuck out. The dorm security guard had to go to the restroom so I ran out when he left" He said while walking to the kitchen island and placing a plastic bag on top of it. Like a lost puppy, you trailed along and followed him. "You owe me shit for making me come here at 2 in the morning."

"I didn't force you to come here"

"You brought it upon yourself when you texted, now" He smirked as he opened the plastic bag and grabbed something "-wanna have ramen?"

You furrowed your eyebrows. "at 2AM?"

Carlos shrugged his shoulders. "You're supposed to say yes, but I'll make it anyway. I was starving so I stopped by the convenience store before I came here"

"Oooh did you stop by for-"

"Yes I brought you banana milk"

"YAY" You jumped to his arms and gave him a big bear hug. Carlos in return, squeezed you so tight you almost couldn't breathe. He loves spoiling you so much because your smile always manages to make him lose his cool demeanor. You were the cutest sight he has ever seen and if it meant sacrificing his beauty sleep for this early in the morning, he would never want to think twice in sleeping ever again.

━

"How long is this going to take?" You asked, spinning around the chair on the edge of the kitchen island. In front of you was Carlos who was busy making the ramen and opening the powder packets.

"The water literally just boiled" He explained while checking the pot of water. Putting the noodles in the pot, he hummed a song to pass the time. "Now we wait for 3 minutes"

"Wait!" You jumped from the chair and dashed to the stereo. "Do you know what makes the wait more fun?"

Carlos peeked from afar, having unsure feelings about your devilish grin which he definitely knows you have something planned. "What?"

"DANCE CONTEST!" You yelled, playing your favorite dance song as it echoes through the speakers.

"Oh God, I just escaped this song from Camilo only to hear you play it on loud speakers." He facepalmed but then grew into a fit of laughter when you suddenly danced to the choreography in the empty space in front of him.

"What the hell are you doing?" He screamed in between laughter. It was definitely not the same dance his twin was doing from before. While he cracked an egg to be placed in the soup, you continued dancing in your pajamas. As soon as he finished and let the meal sit, he gave in danced along with you in the chorus with more minimal movements compared to yours who was all over the place.

"I knew you couldn't resist my favorite artists, you're such a fan" You pointed out while he rolled his eyes.

"Shut up" He grumbled.

━

Oh crap. It was already 3AM and you were blasting music on loud speakers for the entire building to hear.

After getting second complaints from Carlos who was afraid of getting caught, your dance session ended abruptly as you two got ready to finally eat the ramen he prepared.

"You're a good cook" You commented on his cooking, glancing at your now empty bowl.

"It's an instant noodle pack, idiot" Carlos replied. "Everyone can do it."

You scoffed at his last comment and mocked him. "But you didn't let me do it. 'mI amOr LeT mE MaKe ThE rAmEn InsTeaD'"

Carlos stood up from the chair and walked behind you, leaving you confused. Suddenly, he pulled you to a back hug and put his chin on your shoulders, flustering you. He grabbed your hands and put them in front of your face.

"You see these hands?" You nodded as he continued. "These are the hands that passed a week old paper 2 minutes before the deadline. These are the hands that downed an entire cup of coffee at midnight. These are the hands that played that loud ass song on blast at 3AM in the morning, possibly calling for danger if I didn't ask you to turn it off. Now, can you give me a logical explanation as to why I would let the same hands operate open fire on a stove at 3 in the morning?"

You pursed your lips and squinted your eyes, humming and playing along acting like you were thinking of an answer. Your so-called 'train of thought' was interrupted when Carlos squished your cheeks and groaned while shaking you. Pushing his hand away, you crossed your eyebrows at him.

"Your cuteness aggression is so fucking weird, you have a face of murder but your actions say otherwise. Like when you squished my sister's kitten with a sinister face" You picked up your bowl before he took it away from you immediately making you complain "Hey-"

"Couldn't resist it when you look like an idiot" He cupped your cheeks again. "My idiot." He lightly kissed your nose and pulled away, grabbing the rest of the silverware. "Also, I'm not letting you touch the plates, I'm washing them."

"Eh, less work for me thanks wifey"

"Don't call me that"

"Sorry wifey"

━

3:00 AM...

"Okay I'm not gonna lie but that was fun" Carlos muttered out of breath as he pulled away from you while panting. "Just never ask me to do that again"

You guys were learning this dance challenge with Carlos and after your many attempts of begging, he just gave in. Tonight's challenge was the viral domino dance and although Carlos wouldn't want to admit, he was kinda having fun.

"Learned from the best dancer I've known" You proudly said while gulping a glass of water as you re-watched the recorded video.

"That's the Carlos Madrigal effect"

"No I was talking about Camilo"

Carlos gave you a sour face while you laughed at him. Putting the video on your drafts, you looked up at him while he was wiping his sweaty forehead.

"Now what?" You asked him.

"I'm just trying so hard not to throw up the ramen right now."

You laughed at your boyfriend who was still trying to catch his breath. "Okay fine, no more dancing. Wanna watch a movie?"

"I have a better idea"

"What is it?" You asked him.

"Sleep. We sleep, Y/N."

"Oh"

━

You didn't know how it ended up like this, but now you're lying on the bed cuddling with your boyfriend in animal onesies. Apparently when he went to the convenience store, Carlos also passed by a few outfits in the clothes part of the store and found the onesies. He bought you a sugar glider onesie while he got himself a panda one.

After a night of energy and too much activity, you were finally happy you were getting sleepy. Maybe the coffee has worn off, or maybe it was because of the MSG from the ramen. One thing is for sure though, this was the highlight of the night. Lying on Carlos' chest while his hand plays with your hair and your legs are tangled together.

"Amor," You called out to him, face still buried in his chest. You felt a vibration as he hummed in response.

"Thank you for coming here for me"

It wasn't much to say, but it felt enough for both of you. You and Carlos had just been in an official relationship for 2 months and you never felt even more happier as time goes by. But while still being early in the relationship, no one has dropped the "I love you" phrase yet, and although it took longer, it felt somehow right. It wasn't easy for you to openly display affection to each other and you both understood that.

It takes time, love takes time. The "I love you" can come later. You weren't rushing. For both of you, it's an important phrase and neither of you were ready just yet. BUT, you already felt the comfort of those words although not directly, just through Carlos' gestures that made you feel loved and cared for. Just like tonight.

"Don't thank me, mi vida. I would gladly spend any second of my time to be with you" Carlos muttered against the crown of your head, twirling and combing your hair with his fingers. That was his I love you. His quality time, his words of affirmation, his acts of service, those were his 'i love yous'.

And yours? It's a little difficult to tell from someone else but for Carlos, he definitely gets to experience your I love yous. Your constant snuggling, your shameless personality, your tears, your physical touch, your words of affirmation, all of those things were the ones only Carlos has seen and you meant to keep it that way.

"And uhm- sorry if I'm kind of a pain in the ass sometimes"

Carlos clicked his tongue. "Look at me" He grabbed your shoulders, causing you to pull yourself off and he cupped your face for you to face him. "You're not a pain in the ass okay? And you're never a handful. I like being around with you, you're like my happy pill. The sun to my moon."

His words never fail to make you smile in awe. Sometimes it makes you even tear up in joy and he urges you not to cry by saying even more sweet words that just makes you cry even harder. You're very lucky to have this man and he's very lucky to land someone like you.

With an aww, you further snuggled into him, diving into the crook of his neck while he giggles at you. Holding you even tighter, you suddenly remembered one of the videos you were meant to send to him before his knocks scared you.

"Oh wait, I forgot I was supposed to send you something" You pulled away and sat up on your bed, reaching for the phone by the bedside table. Carlos remained snuggled in your bedsheets, waiting for you to finish.

"This video I saw, wait I'll send it to you." You trailed off, busy scrolling through your phone.

You were about to put it down until you heard a loud ding that startled you. You looked back to the beside table to see Carlos' phone shine brightly on.

"Amor, was that my notif?" You asked and glanced at Carlos who had a shy grin in his face.

"Uhm, yea"

"But I thought you always have your phone on silent because it annoys you?" You put the phone back and went back to snuggle in his arms.

"Technically it is, I just set it up so that the do not disturb option doesn't apply to you." Carlos said truthfully, intentionally hiding his face in your hair but you were smart enough to pull away and cup his face instead.

"So you mean, the entire time I wasn't on silent for you?"

He looked away and nodded.

"So, the whole time I was spamming your messages because I thought you were on silent, was actually not and you were hearing all those dings per second?"

Carlos muttered under his breath. "I don't mind though"

"Oh my god" You said as you let go of his face and dug back to his chest. "So I really did wake you up in the middle of the night"

Carlos furrowed his eyebrows the moment he heard a guilt tone in your voice. "Hey." He grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him.

"I had it set for a reason okay? I never want to miss your messages and I hate it when you're mixed with other of my notifications. It's not your fault and I don't mind if you wake up or spam me or shit"

"Awww" You cooed and gave him a light peck on the lips. "You love me so much"

"Tch. I'm being nice here, appreciate it"

"I do! Next time you're officially invited for my next 3AM bullshit. Only you have an infinite invite" You said as you observe the big smile that he has. His eyes glimmering with pure bliss that made you fall deeper.

"I accept. For tomorrow, I'm planning the activities. Ones that don't involve loud TikTok dancing"

You hummed and nodded in response, giving him yet another peck in the lips making him laugh as if hes entranced in the sight of you completely drunk on each others love.

"Thank you mi amor"

Funny how the lazy, barely moving Carlos Madrigal seemed to enjoy staying up late with you. Whether it would be dancing, singing, eating, or even playing video games. He would sacrifice his beauty sleep if it meant seeing you have the time of your life, it was worth it. Fuck sleep, you were worth it.

taglist: @thegirlwiththebangs @mirabelleza @carcat-02 @brushofease @camilos-luna @kitasgloves @ducky-is-dead-inside @elegantkidfansoul @moon-cakiie ++ join here

thumbnail by the artists of purrfect tale

#carlos madrigal supremacy #carlos madrigal fanfic #carlos madrigal oneshot #carlos madrigal x reader #carlos my beloved #carlos madrigal #carlos x reader #carlos incorrect quotes #carlos x female reader #cahmi fics

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dreamkidddream · 4 years ago

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MC Doing the Peeling Glue Skin Prank on the Bros (Lucifer, Mammon, and Leviathan)

Hoorayyy my first post! I don’t know if any of you have seen the tiktok where they rub glue to look like their skin is peeling off but it’s both funny and horrifying. Also, this got a lot longer and fluffier/sappier than what I thought, but I’m not complaining. This will be done in headcannon format, and I think I’m going to split it up into 2 parts (Lucifer, Mammon, and Levi in the first part and the rest in the second) and I hope you enjoy! Also slight spoiler for lesson 16 (but it’s a blink and you miss it kind of thing in Mammon’s). Reader is gender neutral.

The Build Up:

Ever since you came back to the Devildom after the exchange program, things have been great! It was obvious that you were missing the demon lords, and even more obvious that they were missing you too. Things weren’t different, not at all. But the one day that you were bored out of your mind and they all had different things to handle, you turned to the one thing that could cure your boredom: the Devildom’s version of TikTok. Oh how the boys will forever regret showing you that app, as it had let to their current downfall...

Lucifer

So unfortunately this man is ALWAYS busy

It doesn’t matter what time of day or night it is, he’s always filling out paperwork. Whether it’s for Diavolo, credit card bills that Mammon racked up, Asmo’s impromptu fashion trips, Beel’s black hole of a stomach, etc.

And he doesn’t like to be disturbed at all unless it’s an emergency

So when you burst into his office out of nowhere, he was slightly irritated (but not that angry, since it was you and your presence was hardly a nuisance)

But that quickly changed whenever he heard you moaning his name in pain and looked up to see what looked like your flesh flaking off by the second

His eyes widen and he is instantly panicking. He’s trying to keep it on the inside but you start to “panic” which makes him shoot out of his seat

Instantly is by your side, trying to delicately hold you and also trying to figure out what the hell is going on

“MC! Are you in pain? What happened? Did someone put a curse on you?!”

Now, you weren’t putting on a Oscar worthy performance but you think you were selling it pretty good. And everything was working out until he grabbed your arm and inspected it closer that he realized he got played

First, he realized that your flesh wasn’t falling in chunks on the ground. Then, he realized that these flakes were awfully thin, and that parts of your arm felt sticky

He fully realized that he got pranked when he peeled off your “skin” off your neck and you giggled, then covered your mouth to realized that your cover was blown

Needless to say, he was not a happy demon

And you basically just signed your death warrant

Before you could even think about running, he grabbed you again and “asked” that you have a seat

Cue another long Lucifer lecture, with him explaining how this wasn’t a funny prank (even for human standards) and that you need to understand how serious this is

Which is his way of saying that he cares about you and was actually panicked and scared. You knew his pride made it hard for him to openly express himself. And while he is getting better slowly but surely, it’s still hard for him to do so. Which made you feel guilty, so you did genuinely apologized

“You’re right, Lucifer, I’m sorry. This wasn’t my greatest idea, as you can see. I didn’t realize how severely this affected you, and it wasn’t right for me to take advantage of that. I know how hard it is to express how you feel because of your pride, but I know how much you care for me even without saying it. It shows in how hard you work, and how you still manage to be there for everyone despite how stress you are. I shouldn’t be adding on to that stress, and I really am sorry for that. You really are a good person, Lucifer, and even though you can be very strict- wait! Let me finish,- you mean well because you care for us. And you don’t get enough credit for that. So, thank you for all that you do. I love you, truly and deeply.”

Despite being a little skeptical in the beginning (he thought you were trying to get out of a punishment, ha! Good luck with that) and ending with a flustered look that he tried to cover with his hand (which was obviously too late to do, you already saw), he did appreciate and accepted the apology.

“I love you too, MC. Truly and deeply.”

So that was your cue to get your hug (and maybe a little kiss) and he pushed you away! You were offended for a second, but you saw the disgusted look on your face and forgot that you were covered in dried glue. Oh yeahhhh...ew

So while you were back in his good graces, you still got punished. A 15 page essay on why doing horrific pranks like that on your loved ones is harmful and no HellTok for your remaining stay?! You know you deserve some type of consequence but geez, overkill much?!

But, he did hint to you that you could make him feel better by spending the night with him in bed

After you take a much needed shower of course

Mammon

As much as this tsundere tried to say he was “too busy” for you, we all know that’s a lie

Granted when you went to go bother him, he was busy

Busy with planning out new scams counting out whatever Grimm he had left, what items to sell and for what price: “maybe I could sell Levi’s golden Ruri-Chan vendor ring thing for some Grimm? He’ll flip but if I just “borrow” it for a little bit, he won’t know what hit ‘im!”

Seeing how focused he was, it was your time to shine

“M-Mamooon! Help me! Something’s w-wrong!”

That immediately got his attention

His head shot up and he rushed to you, panic clearing showing on his face and in his movements

“MC! What’s going on?! WHAT IS THIS!”

When you could physically see him shaking, sweating and on the brink of tears, you knew that it was time to stop while you were ahead

“Mammon wait-“

“We need to go to Lucifer NOW.”

And when he went to pick you up gently, and saw with his own two eyes the flakes slowly fall to the ground, was when hell broke loose

You have never heard him scream so loud before, and you were pretty sure everyone both in and out the house heard him

He lifted you up and you were pretty sure he was in his demon form when you both ran and/or flew (you couldn’t tell, that’s how fast you were moving) to Lucifer’s

Sometimes it was so easy to forget that you lived with actual demons, 7 of the strongest to be exact

When you both reached your destination (ie. barged into Lucifer’s room unprovoked) he was not pleased, but Mammon did not care.

You were one of (if not) the most important person in his life and he would be damned if anything happened to you again. He was your first man, your protector! And he was not going to fail. Not again. He would and will protect you with his life. At any costs

When you saw how serious he was , you tried to wiggle out of his arms, but all he did was just tighten up and say, “MC, quit squirmin’! I don’t want you to make this worse.”

“No, Mammon wait-“

“We’re going to fix this. I’m going to fix this and I’m not lettin’ anything happen to you again. Now stop moving! Lucifer, somethin’s wrong with MC! Look at how their skin is-“

“ITS A PRANK!”

It’s just a prank bro

“Wh-what?”

“I’ve been trying to tell you, I’m sorry!”

While you were explaining the whole process (with Lucifer staring on in building irritation), you were still in his arms

You already felt like a terrible being, but the guilt was steady skyrocketing when you were looking at his face

He looked like a kicked puppy left in the rain with a broken paw

You just kept apologizing over and over, until you heard a certain someone clear their throat.

“If you two are done interrupting me, I would like to get back to work. MC, stay behind, it seems like we need to have a little chat about your so called prank.”

Mammon put you down and walked out the room, head hanging and eyes covered.

You knew you screwed up big time. Forget about the incoming lecture, you felt absolutely terrible about pranking Mammon. Especially after hearing the “again” comment.

Once you finally got released (ie. punished), you all had dinner, which Mammon skipped out on

Geez, this was not suppose to happen and you needed to make it up to him ASAP

So here you were, standing outside his door (after you cleaned up) with two Hell Fire noodle cups, knocking timidly

“Hey, Mammon? Is it okay if I come in?”

Silence

“You weren’t down for dinner and I know that you’re hungry, so I brought us-you some noodles.”

Again, silence

You sighed, you knew you messed up big time and you were going to fix it, no matter what.

“I’m sorry, Mammon. I’m so sorry. What started out as a joke turned into something serious, and it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have did that. Hurting you was never my intention, I care about you too much to do that. When I heard you say that you weren’t going to let anything happen to me again, I knew that I messed up. I know that you will always protect me, and I don’t have any doubt that you won’t. You’re my first man, remember? I know that you’ll always have my back, and I hope you know that I’ll always have yours too. You’re not just the Avatar of Greed to me Mammon, you’re my first guy that I’ll love forever. I won’t ever mess with you like this again, and if you don’t want to talk now that’s fine too, just know that I’ll always love and care for you, okay?”

Ughh and now you were crying!

You sighed. You understood if he didn’t want to talk to you. I mean, he thought you were dying again. It’s easy to forget the events that happened with Belphie, since everyone is communicating and acting like a real family, but you can see now that it left a deep emotional wound in Mammon. He believed that it was his fault that you weren’t saved, and he still carried the burden all this time.

You put the cup down outside the door and started to head back to your room. You would give him as much time as he needed. You just hate that you made him feel this way, that you rose those feelings out of him. And you hated yourself for it.

You barely stepped a foot away from the door when he saw it swing out and a big blob tackle-hugged you

Here was Mammon, sniffling and tearing up, hugging you

“*sniff* You stupid human.”

When he pulled away, you saw the tears in his eyes, which he tried to rub away before you could notice (sidenote: you already noticed)

“Ya-Ya really love me?”

“Of course, Mammon! How could I not? You stayed by my side through thick and thin, through everything. You protected me, and I will forever be grateful for that. I wouldn’t be here without you. You’re not a selfish scum bag like everyone tries to make you out to be, Mammon, and I won’t let you believe that you are. You are my first man, the man that has constantly looked out for me, that has supported and cared for me, and most of all that has never failed to show how much love you have to give. I love you Mammon, always.”

Cue the blushing and cheeky grin

“Now come on the Great Mammon, our noodles are getting cold.”

It felt great to see that smile back on his face

And it felt even better to hear him say, “I love ya too, MC”

Leviathan

Levi was in his room, nothing new

He told you he had some sort of campaign that he absolutely could not afford to miss. Which he said about the other campaigns too but whatever

So when you knocked into his room, and he didn’t ask for the secret phrase, you knew he was in too deep to even pay attention to his surroundings

And the door was UNLOCKED

So you went in, ready to give him the scare of the decade, and-

He turned around in his gaming chair, raging and in his demon form

“UGH! How was that normie of a demon able to kill me with that move?! He has to be cheating! How is it that I’m one of the best players in the entire Devildom and I’m one of the first dead?! It’s not fair! It’s not fair, it’s not fair IT’S NOT FAI- huh? MC, why are you covered in *squints* dried up glue?”

You were honestly shook

Because 1: the third strongest brother was obviously furious and in his demon form which is not a good combination (your mind flashing back to the TSL quiz and whew was that not the best memory) and 2: how the hell was he able to know that this was glue?!

Okay, you weren’t scared of Levi, not at all! But you, just like everyone else, knew how serious he took his gaming

And you all knew how he could be when he was raging about it too

Not saying that he would ever harm or attack you, oh no. What happened at the beginning was just a...fluke! Yeah, just a little hiccup in your now longstanding relationship

But you were still just a tad bit hesitant to be caught in the crossfire of his rage

Really everyone was (except maybe Beel, but even he had his moments)

“LOL you look like one of the rotten magical zombie students from the anime “OMG I’m Just A Magical Girl in Training and Somehow I Turned the Whole School Into Zombies and Have to Fall in Love with a Demon to Reverse It!””

Okay, this was not the reaction you were looking for

“What the- but how-?

Then you remembered

Levi is a renowned cosplayer, the best in the game. It was obvious he knew what the dried up glue looked like considering how much he’s worked with it

You were of course disappointed, but oh well, you could always scheme to get him another way

And then it happened. Another devious idea popped into your head

“So you said I looked like a rotten zombie student huh?”

“Rotten magical zombie student . LOL don’t tell me that you don’t think you do- W-what are you doing MC?”

“Ughhh I’m a rotten magical school girl, and I’m not just hungry for brains, I’m hungry for love.”

“L-love?”

“Gughhh that’s right and only kisses can satiate my hunger. Demon kisses.”

Oh boy

The way that you turned red so quick was always a surprising sight for you to see

“M-MC WAIT-”

“I want my kisses, Levi!”, you said it in your best zombie/monster voice

Cue his famous “WOOAHHHH”

“MC WAIT- YOU’RE COVERED IN GROSS DRIED GLUE OMG”

The campaign was quickly forgotten when you tackled him to the ground, glue and all

Then you remembered how sensitive he was with physical contact, and tried to get up

“Oh Levi, I’m sorry! I forgot you don’t li-”

Something was still holding you against him

Specifically, that something was his tail

His tail was currently wrapped around your waist, holding you tightly against the red-faced otaku

“Levi, you okay?”

“Y-y-yeah, I’m okay.” he said it in the tiniest voice you have ever heard.

“Do you want me to get-”

“NO! I-I mean yes! I mean no! N-no I don’t want you to get up. I’m okay.”

Today was just surprising you left and right huh?

But you weren’t complaining now

“But now we’re covered in nasty, peely glue. And what about your campaign?”

He looked at the screen, and then back at you

“It’s okay. It’s not worth it like I thought it was. It’s just a bunch of normies who either button mash or spam the same attack over and over. And I already got majority of the rewards anyway. Besides, now that another normie has me covered in icky cheap glue, I need to get it off.”

Whoops

“Sorry about that, Levi. I was just trying to prank you but looks like that failed. I could do your laundry for you since it was my bad. Is that okay?”

“O-or you could m-make it up to me by having by binge watching some anime? If you want, even though I’m a nasty, icky, worthless ot-”

“Levi. Look at me.”

You gently grabbed and held his face in your hands

“You’re not worthless or nasty okay? And I love to spend time with you. We can definitely have an anime marathon. I’ll always be by your side, I wouldn’t be your Henry if I wasn’t.”

“R-really?”, the way his eyes light up every time you praise or show him love will never get old

“Of course. But I do have to say that you are icky.”

“WHAT”

“But we both are. I mean I did kinda cover you in the flaky glue, and it’s starting to feel a little gross to be honest.”

“O-oh yeah. I-it’s your fault normie!”

“Yeah, yeah I know.”, you laughed.

Atleast you somewhat pranked him

“So let’s get cleaned up, and I can bring some more snacks when I’m done. You wanna do the pillow fort like usual?”

“O-of course, normie!”

“Alright. I’ll see you in a few then!”, and you began walking out the room

He watched your trailing form, and honestly he didn’t want you to leave yet. That was apparent when his tail wrapped itself around you. I mean, how embarrassing was that?! But he couldn’t help it.

Levi cares about you immensely. You’re his best friend, his Henry! He didn’t know what you saw in someone like him, I mean damn, he was the Avatar of Envy! What’s attractive about someone being jealous 24/7?

He wasn’t outgoing like Asmo or Mammon, didn’t have the confidence like Lucifer or Satan, and he wasn’t good at building bonds like the twins (or at least like Beel)

What a human like you saw in him was still mind boggling, and he thought you were just tolerating him, just being nice. But, he saw how genuine you were as time went on. He saw you as someone special to him, you were his favorite real living person, his best friend, and honestly he wanted you to become more-

“Oh, Levi, one more thing.”

You quickly ran up to him and kissed him on the cheek

“I finally got my demon kiss, ughhh. My hunger has been satisfied!”

And ran right back out

He blushed 100x more now, and he realized that maybe he wasn’t ready to take it to the next step just yet, but he was willing to be patient and work towards it

He was willing to make the effort because you’re worth it

#obey me x reader #obey me imagines #obey me headcanons #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #leviathan x reader #mc x lucifer #mc x mammon #mc x levi #obey me reader insert #reader insert #fanfiction #first headcanon

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chicagotvnation · 4 years ago

Text

A Hurricane - Jay Halstead/Reader

Pairings:Jay Halstead x Reader / Jay Halstead x You

Warnings: Shots fired, love, injured, mentions of blood

Words Count: 1115

Prompt: A hurricane takes human form

Summary: Your a hurricane, always coming in and ruining everything, at least thats what you thought. You were apart of intelligence on a buy and of course things went south because when did they not?

Author Note: This is the first time I have posted to this profile with my writing but you can check more of my writing out on both Wat pad and archive . I haven’t written anything in months besides essays so if you like this go check out my other work and let me know. im almost done with my degree and hoping to get more written.

https://www.wattpad.com/user/AuroraBurrows

https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraBurrows/profile

You were a hot mess wrapped in an human. The past always followed you and no matter what you did you tried to escape it. To the point that you even became a police officer. The only thing that mattered to you was to find all the people. Growing up in Chicago you got to know the police force and one officer in particular. Hank Voight. He knew you were a good kid who was constantly put into a bad situation. He saved you, He helped you out of the trouble you were always tied too.

Years later after your father was arrested and put in jail, Hank got you a spot in the police academy and after working hard on the grind you found yourself handpicked for his unit. Not because he was like a father to you, but because you were one of the best of the best and you worked hard for that title.

You were young and hella good at solving puzzles which is why you were so good at putting things together. This case was no different. Your CO had some information which lead you to a dealer. You went undercover for a buy with one of your co workers Jay, Jay Halstead. The man you admired for the war he fought for his country, and well he wasn’t bad to look at either. Your informant introduced you “this is Sam, and Jake.” She introduced the two of you “they are were the ones I was telling you about” She started to explain and you went to try and ya know how much y’all were looking to buy. Some thing unexpected happened. One of the drug dealers associates walked up behind him and looked you right in the eye “y/n” he said to you. You tried to quickly play it off “I think you have me confused with someone else” you say to the man “I am sam and im just trying to do a simple deal here”

��She’s a cop” he said simply “I would know she is my daughter”. You closed our eyes for a quick second as you opened them you saw that guns were pointed at you and Jay “woah woah woah this man is crazy!” You said trying to back track the deal “I have never met this guy in my entire life.” You said holding up your hands

Everything was going south so you did what you had to do. You were a hurricane trapped in human form, always putting people in danger. You Shoved jay out of the way as you heard a gunshot go off and your informant went running off before you quickly jumped over another table and flipped it. In getting Jay out of the way you didn’t even notice you were hit. You quickly pulled out your gun ass the rest of the team came in clearing the bar and getting everyone to safety as you quickly fired back “come on dad you don’t wanna do this” you said out loud

‘Oh but I do” he said as he moved to see you and fired another shot, this time you felt it hit you in the shoulder “its your fault I spent the last 10 years in jail not being able to see my own son grow up, your such a bitch I should have taken care of you a long time ago” ‘fuck” you mumbled holding your shoulder for a second and taking a breath and shifting “thats not my fault you sold and did drugs and whatever else they got you for I had nothing to do with it. With a few more shots fired off you could feel that something wasn’t right. “Hey a/n, stay with me” Jay said as he stood over you. “Everything fine stay with me you are okay” He said putting pressure on your side the last things. You heard before you passed out because all the adrenaline wore off “5021 George I have an injured officer and need assistance now roll an ambulance to my location now” he said into the walkie. As the rest of the team walked over to where you were The ambulance ride was weird it was something you were in and out for. You heard the machines beeping and you saw jay riding with you as he was your partner and “Jay” you said to him before the machines started to beep and you were back out of it. They where able to pull you back and you heard Jays brother Will “don’t worry she will be okay, and maybe you will finally tell her how you feel, dr Roads is the best”

A few hours later you woke up to jay sitting in the chair next to you. “You got to stop doing that” he said back to you when he saw your eyes open ‘what saving your life because you have slow reflexes?” You wondered with a slight smile and a soft chuckle that hurt so you made a face

“No making me scared that I am going to wake up and you are not going to be there tomorrow your not indestructible y/n” Jay said back to you “seriously you should have aborted the mission, if you thought you were compromised” “he isn’t usually that smart” you said back to him “I kinda thought he would play along but I guess he has a grudge” you said looking around at all the monitors “wait Jay, are you okay is that your blood?” You asked seeing the bandage on his arm “Yeah guess you were not fast enough, apparently the bullet hit my arm and then went into your side” he said “My arm would have been better than I don’t know you loosing your spleen” he said back to you. “You don’t need a spleen anyways, but you do need an arm’ you said back to him with a wink. “Shut up, you know id follow you anywhere, but sometimes I I really can’t watch you get hurt again. Y/n I am better with you. You can’t do this to me my heart can not handle loosing you” “Actually its you who makes me better” you replied “its kinda why I pushed you out of a bullets path tonight” you said back to him as will walked into the room.

#jesse lee soffer #jay halstead #Jay Halstead x Reader #Jay x reader #Chicago Pd #Jay Halstead x you #Jay Halstead x y/n

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descendantofthesparrow · 4 years ago

Text

Harry Hook x Reader - soulmate au! lost things

A soulmate. Something everyone had, whether they be on the Isle or in Auradon. You had watched your mom and dad hand things the other had lost back to each other, either be a pen or a full stack of papers.

Oh, did I forget to mention? Soulmates found whatever the other lost. So say one lost their phone? The other would find it moments later.

Sometimes appearing mid-air and dropping into your hands. Your mom had once lost her wedding ring when she was cooking, your dad decided to be all dorky and “propose” all over again.

It was one of your fondest memories of them, it always filled you with the hope that one day, maybe you and your soulmate would be that way.

Speaking of your soulmate.

A pair of headphones appeared out of the corner of your eye. You smiled and picked them up, examining them.

They were a dark red with black leather for the ear cushions, little silver and gold bits and bobs decorated the headband and outer shell of the speakers, a small cross bone skull painted on the left ear.

You knew for a while that your soulmate was and isle kid, from the state of the items he lost. Always run down or used, broken, worn down, and sometimes, things you had “lost” before that he had lost again.

Like this pair of headphones, it was a pair of headphones you had bought last month and “lost” them, and now soulmate had lost them again.

You tossed them onto your bed and continued to work, knowing you would soon forget about them and they would return to your soulmate.

Harry growled in frustration as he tore through his room for his headphones. “goddamnit!” he yelled, tossing up his pillows, hearing them thud on the ground behind him a moment later.

“where the hell are meh headphones!?!” Harriet rolled her eyes behind him, messing with the threads of her new shirt (mostly new, her soulmate had lost it recently)

“yeh dolt it's with yer soulmate, yeh will get it back soon jus’ wait” she muttered, sneering as Harry turned to her and stuck his tongue out.

“shut up Hettie” he jeered back, grabbing his discarded pillows and tossing them back on his bed.

Somehow throughout the years, his soulmate had lost a lot of of….comfortable things, like soft fluffy pillows, blankets, hoodies, and even a full bag of food!

Sometimes he thought his soulmate purposely lost things to give him stuff. It was one of the reasons he wasn’t starving to death or sleeping on a lump of stone for a mattress so he wouldn’t complain.

“harry” he looked at his sister, pressing his lips together and shrugging.

“what” he stressed, eyes drifting to where she was pointing.

There on his dresser was his headphones, though they weren’t there a moment ago “told ya”

Harry glared at her and snatched them off his dresser, tossing them around his neck and stomping out of his room.

“(y/n) I swear I can't find my new shirt! I just got it last week!” Audrey whined about her shirt, it was a non-expensive one but it was comfortable and breathable. You sighed through the phone.

“Audrey, if you can't find it, your soulmate has it, so just chill okay?”

She sighed “I know I know but that was a good shirt!”

“just buy another one?” you suggested, knowing she could easily do that.

“but that was-what the-oh” you heard something in the background and you sat up.

“new thing?”

“uh…yeah? It’s a ….bracelet?”

“whats it looks like?” you trapped your phone between your cheek and neck, continuing to work on your essay.

“silver, bunch of….piraty things on it? Is the best way to describe it I guess, and some red gems on it too”

“sounds cool” you laughed, setting your phone down and turning on speakerphone. “so hows you “vacation” going?”

“pretty good, I got my hair done”

“I saw, it looks dope” you complimented. Audrey hummed back.,

“I like it too, so anything new for you?”

“yeah, headphones, and a ring” you glanced at the red ruby ring on your desk, the teeth of the skull clamping around the jewel” “so you’re sure its an isle kid?”

“has to be, everything they lose is used, the only thing that was relatively new was stuff I lost”

“hmmm, well you know I really don’t like isle kids”

“correction, you don’t like Mal” you interrupted quickly, knowing she liked Evie to an extent and Carlos and Jay weren’t really on her radar.

“yeah yeah, but if they are an isle kid I won't be mean, if it's your soulmate it's your soulmate!”

“same for you Aud” you teased, her lost things were also very…isle like, but she constantly denied it.

“oh shut up”

You glanced at your clock and sighed “I gotta go, I have a thing to do”

“im guessing cotillion?” Audrey muttered.

“yeah, sorry Aud”

“its fine, its not your fault Ben was spelled”

“I know, but still” you murmured, saving your essay and closing your laptop “alright I really gotta go!”

“bye! Talk to you later kisses!” she made a kiss sound and hung up, leaving you to get to jane to help plan cotillion.

You jumped as Lonnie burst into your room, speaking quickly “bens on the isle kidnapped by pirates and I need your help to convince Jay and Carlos to let us help!”

You stayed silent as you processed her words before leaping out of bed and quickly getting dressed.

“let's go!” you grabbed your sword and ran out with Lonnie, running around to the front.

“we’re coming with you guys” Lonnie stated, surprising Jay and Carlos, the two boys laughed nervously.

“what? We don’t need swords at the…..waffle hut?” Carlos's smile dropped and he slowly turned his head to look at jay.

“really?”

“look its either you take us or….we’re gonna have to tell fairy godmother” jay and claros glanced at each other and sighed.

“alright, but (y/n) do you eve-“

You snorted and lifted up your arm, revealing the P tattoo you had gotten a couple of years back In honor of your uncle jack.

“There are some things I haven't told you guys” you laughed, pushing past them and heading to the limo.

Harry raised his brow as beasty boy kept glancing at his wrist “what are yeh lookin’ at beasty” he huffed, pointing his hook at him.

“…that bracelet looks very familiar for some reason” Ben muttered, squinting at the red and (f/c) beaded bracelet.

“so wha’ its meh soulmates” Harry rolled his eyes, turning around and strutting around the mainmast.

Bens eyes widened, that’s where he recognized it, it was (y/n)s! maybe-

“Finally!!!” ben was ripped from the mast, and pushed to the plank. “so lets get this started shall we!!” Ben looked to the group had arrived, relieved to see you among them.

No matter how pirate someone was, it was hard to beat the daughter of the king of pirates after all.

(y/n) turner.

You glanced around, some of these guys were hardly holding their swords correctly. You kept your sword behind your back since Mal had said to keep them hidden so Uma didn’t know anything was up.

Soon, mal passed the wand to uma, ben being handed back to her. As the pirates yelled in victory, you locked eyes with the tall red-coated boy, his bright ocean blue eyes sending a shock down your spine.

‘the hell’ you thought to your self, shaking your head, about to run back to the tunnel when uma screamed and broke the “wand”

“NO!” your eyes widened, watching as Uma drew her sword “YOU DO NOT GET TO WIN EVERY TIME!” Carlos dug out the smoke bombs and launched them at the pirates.

You sighed, drawing your sword and flipping it in your hand, cringing as mal fumbled to grip ber sword correctly.

“mal space your fingers and move your thumb to the right!”

You leaped down the deck, landing in a crouch next to mal. “you focus on ben, ill handle any that come” mal looked startled but obeyed, running up the deck to get to ben.

Uma locked eyes with you, pointing her sword at you “get her!”

You smirked, twisting around and dodging several pirates blades, heh, your baby cousin could fight better than these goons.

Uam huffed, deciding to deal with you herself. You smirked as she ran at you, easily blocking and parrying her attacks.

She was quite good, possibly taught by one of the OG pirates that lived on the isle, but still.

She couldn’t best you. You disarmed her and tripped her, wincing slightly as she hit the deck with a loud smack.

“who the hell-“ her eyes widened as she caught sight of your wrist. You smirked.

“honor among thieves young captain” you purred, embedding her cutlass beside her head. As you ran to head back to the tunnel, something appeared mid-air.

A silver hook.

…

Oddest fucking timing you got ain't cha soulmate??? You ignored it, strapping the hook to your belt loops and running, not seeing umas jaw drop as that entire event happened.

“holy shit” she muttered, jumping as Harry popped up behind her and growled.

“I lost meh hook!”

Later in the limo, Evie finally caught sight of the hook, her eyes widening “h-how did you get Harrys hook? You never fought with him??”

“Harry who?” you muttered confused, grabbing the hook from your waist and holding it up “wait was this Harry apart of the battle?”

“yes! He was uma first mate! The one with the red coat!” Evie stressed.

You were silent for a moment before facepalming “this popped out of the air just as we were leaving.”

“oh shit” the car sounded back, Harry Hook was your soulmate.

A year later, the hook still sat on your dresser, delicately placed in a display case, and polished every week.

You had been unable to forget about it, unable to send it back to harry. So you kept it, not being able to go to the isle and give it back personally.

Until one day.

You dove underwater, glaring back up at the surface as you saw Audrey disappear.

You were really glad you followed your gut and took the hook with you to Janes birthday party.

Breaching the surface you took heavy breathes, swimming to the edge and lifting yourself up onto the grotto.

“come on, we gotta warn the others!” you lifted jane out of the pool.

“you go do that, I have to get my stuff!” you took your bike back to the dorms, changing out of your wet party clothes and into your gear.

You slid your loose leather jacket up to just below your elbow, putting on your gloves and ring.

Black pants with reinforced knees, calf-length steel toe boots, and your sword, hook once more on your belt loop.

As you stepped out of the dorms, you locked eyes with the vks.

“hey” you yelled out, smirking as they all jumped. “where the hell have you all been??”

“uh, getting hades ember???” mal looked you up and down, raising her brows “why are you dressed like that?”

“because I can” you snorted, locking eyes with harry “hey, I think this is yours” unhooking the hook, tossing it to harry.

He fumbled to catch it, jaw-dropping as he realized what it was “how-when did yeh get me…..oh…OH!” his cheeks turned pink, looking away from you and into his shoulder.

“yep, how’d you lose it in the first place?” you asked, watching as Harry glared at jay. “ah, gotcha” you snorted, following the group out as they had decided to go to the castle.

You smiled as the bridge began to build, your parents just behind you, hands on your shoulders. “you ready (y/n)” your mom asked, brushing a piece of cake off your cheek,

“yeah, and I think you guys will like him” you snickered. Your parents looked at each other, smiles on their faces.

“and why is that?”

“hes a pirate” you laughed, watching as Harry stepped over the bridge/Auradon border and locked eyes with you, a bright smile on his lips. He started to walk over to you.

“like mother like daughter” your dad laughed, grinning widely as you ran forward into Harry's arms.

“found yeh” Harry laughed, nuzzling his cheek into your hair, holding you tightly to his chest.

“I think our daughters in good hands” your mom hummed, intertwining hands with Will and walking over to greet harry.

you turned, smirking as you saw a black haired pirate girl hang Audrey recently lost necklace in front of her, Audrey cheeks Turing dark and she buried her face in her hands.

“wait Hetties soulmate is Audrey?....whoa” harry laughed, watching as his sister kissed the princesses forehead.

“i knew it” you chuckled, taking Harry arm and dragging him to meet your parents half way. “i never told you who my parents were right?”

“no?”

“yeah my moms Elizabeth Swan and my dads Will Turner.”

“WHAT?!”

---the end---

-this isn’t my best but I just had to get this idea out of my head, inspired by tik tok POVs with this au, might do a more in depth version of this--

permtaglist

@queer-cosette

@sephiralorange

@lunanight2012

@daughter-of-the-stars11

@random-thoughts-003

@amorathegamingkitsune

@rintheemolion

#descendants #Descendents #disney descendants #harry hook #harry hook descendants #harry hook x reader #harry hook imagine

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evolsinner · 3 years ago

Text

⊱┊24

days go by, another one comes across. however, today is that day, and by ‘that day’ i mean, can we all please have a drumroll, it’s fucking parent~teacher interviews! aka an interrogation under the guise of pleasantries. i thought if i didn’t think about it, it’d just fucking disappear, but hey no, it’s still here.

but that’s okay, you see my parents don’t know a thing about it. i shredded all the notices they’ve sent us and made sure to cut the line every time my sneaky ass school called home. so when it came to my last class for the day, which is english lit obviously, i was quite happy that i didn’t have to stay behind like some students.

the class is empty, it’s almost 4 sharp.

“it’s only interviews,” i try to ease mr killian’s nerves. “just tell them what they wanna hear ~ easy peasy.”

“i wish, but it doesn’t work like that, luv. you know,” he looks up from his paper and removes his reading glasses to rub his weary eyes, “believe it or not, but we hate this day just as much as you kids do.”

“really?” i’m shooked. “thought you teachers just loved taking your sweet as revenge on students on this devilish day. it’s practically reverse halloween where the educators aren’t in costume for the first time, huh.”

mr killian places his pen behind his ear, entertained. “‘reverse halloween’, aye?” he leans back on his chair, arms folded and an ankle~on~knee. “you’re too funny.”

“‘funny’?” i walk over to him, admiring the tantalising dark circles underneath his scintillating eyes. “yeah? and what else?”

he possessively pulls me in between his legs, squeezing my booty in fistfuls. “and sexy and fierce and delicious.”

“do you want a bj?”

“oh, and very fucking naughty too!”

“what you gonna do about it?”

“gee, you’re tempting me.”

“mhm,” i bite my lip.

“you are in serious need of punishment, little girl,” he flicks an eyebrow up. “slide down your panties and lean over my desk.”

my eyes open wide, “no.”

“pardon?”

“i mean, there’s no space on y~y~your desk,” i glance at it. “there’s those booklets, essays, midterms, finals, your laptop...”

“i’ll make space.”

“uh, umm,” i step back.

“nuh~uh,” he pulls me in again so that i’m standing with my thighs directly opposite his thingy. “slide ‘em down right in front of me.”

“that’s too close,” i squeak, going red.

“what difference does it make? you a step back or not, i’ll still see it. c’mon,” he feathers a finger down my bare thigh, “you can’t still be shy? i’ve seen every part of you, every inch of you. the hills, the slopes, the blemishes... want me to go on?”

ok, imma prove him wrong. i undo the button and zipper on my shorts, exposing the bright red lacy panties i got just for him.

“you were hiding those from me?” he points to them, sounding offended.

slowly, i rub my hand over the skimpy fabric, sticking a finger behind the elastic.

“such a tease,” sir leans back. “congratulations, darling, you’ve earned yourself 5 more spanks.”

the thought of him spanking me…

“want me to go easy on you?” he asks, and i see rare mercy dancing around in his eyes.

i nod, prolly a goner if i were dumb enough to take my chances with this guy.

“then touch yourself, sweetheart,” the mercy evaporates from his eyes completely. he just went from a saint to a sinner in a millisecond. “mhm,” he nods to my hesitant expression, “slide your hand through your panties and touch yourself for me. if you don’t moan my name whilst finger~fucking your cunt, i’ll give you the belt.”

heck no, i don’t want to get spanked with a belt! that’ll hurt so much more!! i’ve seen it on 50sog!

“y~you w~want me to m~masturbate for you?”

“did i stutter?”

no, but i did.

shocked at how strangely turned on i’m feeling, i slide my fingertips under the double thin lines of the red covered elastic bands. tell me, why did i wear this again? i inch my fingers down further, my breath hitching up and pelvic muscles contracting.

sir slides his hand into his pants and gently strokes his cock, scarring me with imaginary ciggy burns from the way he’s staring at me doing me. “hurry it up, little one, time is of the essence.”

3 knocks on the door and it swings open with a, “hello?”

mr killian speedily sits up.

and i step back right away, pulling my hand out and tugging my shirt over the open zipper. “mum?”

“roséah,” she squints, “what on earth... dear lord, you have a lot of explaining to do!”

i refuse to blink. i think i’m having something like a heart attack. “w~what do you mean?”

“well, for starters,” she struts up to me, “you didn’t tell me that today was parent~teacher interview night.”

i exhale deeply, relief has never felt this good.

“mr killian, i presume?” mum says, holding her hand out.

i quickly fix myself up behind her.

“please,” he smiles, shaking her hand, “call me isaac.”

why the fuck would mum come here without informing me about it?!?

“apologies for not booking in a time slot and barging in like this. had i known,” mum gives me an irritated look, “i would have been more prepared.”

“it’s no worries, mrs blackburn,” sir tries to downplay it. “i reckon i can squeeze you in before my first interview. so please,” he motions to the two seats preplaced in front of the desk, “have a seat.”

“christella will do just fine,” and she takes no time in making herself comfortable.

i roll my eyes, so fucking annoyed and anxious at the same time.

“if you don’t mind my saying so,” sir gracefully says, “but now i know where your beautiful daughter gets her beautiful looks from.”

mum titters, tucking invisible strands of hair behind her ear and straightening out her pencil skirt.

tf.

sir glances at me and it’s so provocative in nature that i can’t look away, hence he does it for me. “do we have a common friend that can get both of us acquainted with one another?” he causally asks my mother with a chuckle.

aren’t they supposed to be talking about me?

“i don’t suppose so, isn’t that a shame?” mum smiles.

“‘shame’ would be an understatement, stella…can i call you stella?”

“you can call me whatever you want, isaac.”

“ahem!!” eww. ew. “mum,” i shake my head at her like ‘did you forget you have a husband?’, “you might wanna..”

“oh, yes, of course! silly me. so do tell, isaac? how has my daughter been doing?”

“well, to be candour, i’m rather impressed at how dedicated rosé is on learning.”

“hm, is that so?” she gives me a suspicious glance.

“indeed,” mr killian sends me a secret wink.

“does she slack off? because you’d tell me if she did, right?” mum asks.

“mum,” i grumble, she’s so embarrassing sometimes.

mr killian chuckles, “you’d be the first to know, stella. fortunately, that isn’t the case. rosé has quite the eye for accomplishing her goals.”

i’m getting lost in him again...

“gets all her work done on time, doesn’t send inappropriate text messages in class,” he proceeds professionally, kinda cocky, “nor does she ever has to stay back late.”

all of which i do the opposite of, i give him a guilty grin.

mum looks rather very taken aback, considering how i am at home. “seems like she’s quite the student?”

“you’d be surprised by what goes on in these walls.”

that not so hidden half~smile sir gives me pauses my mum in her tracks with her next question. i look at her sudden stiffness and notice how she’s surveying mr killian intently, her eyes narrowed into slits. oh crap.

“ahem!” i shift in my seat quickly.

sir coughs and swiftly brings in another topic.

mum gradually returns to her usual manner.

that was close.

when they finally say their farewells, i feel relieved as a fucking kite flying high up in a blue cloudless sky. mum did a few more interviews before she finally decided to go home. mr killian had given her false hope and high expectations, so it was funny when my other teachers informed her that my grades were declining from b’s and c’s to d’s and e’s.

oops, my bad.

-ˋˏ ༻🍷༺ ˎˊ-

it’s late, a major thunderstorm has hit and maxi being the scaredy~cat he is has crept into my room for the night. incoming call from isaac. i decline it. so he calls me again. and i decline it again. busy tryna shoot him a text which he keeps interrupting with phone calls.

daddy🔐 is my furry baby avoiding my calls?

tf he just called me??????

me im not avoiding ur calls jus ctrn cuz baby bro is sleeping in my bed thunder isnt his strong suit :/

daddy🔐 why am i jealous?

lol, seriously? i smile, rolling over to the edge of my bed.

daddy🔐 can’t stop thinking about you...

me jus stop its not dat hard

god, i suck at this.

daddy🔐 i really need to be fucking inside you right now!

uh, what the fuck do i text back?!

daddy🔐 would it be inappropriate of me to ask you what you are wearing since you’re with your kid brother?

haha.

me wow, ur quite the gentleman, arent ya ?

daddy🔐 i try my best.

feeling kinky, i silently remove my oversized graphic tee and take two pictures of myself. then i quickly pop my tee back on before curling up on the bed and hitting ‘send’.

daddy🔐 mmmm leopard panties and no bra, sexy. though i do wish you could move your arm out of the way so i could see my two girls?

no, my boobies are too small and i’m shy!

daddy🔐 such unspeakable things i could to your body right about now. would you like to know, baby?

i’m so tempted to text back ‘yes’, but that’d just get me too hot and bothered which is not a good idea when your lil brother is lying right next to you.

me behave (;

daddy🔐 how about we finish off what we started back in the classroom?

me we hv company rmbr ?

daddy🔐 right.

there’s a while with those 3 flashing dots before he texts back.

daddy🔐 considering we have an audience tonight, i’m willing to keep it pg. on the contrary, was nice talking to your mother today.

me were u flirting w her ?

daddy🔐 i don’t know. was i?

me u so were ! nd evry subtextual sentence u uttered !! she cud hv caught on yanno ?!

daddy🔐 that, i couldn’t help. the look on your face was hilarious. hers too.

i almost lol by just picturing my mum’s face, but i suppress it.

me jus bc u made me laugh dnt mean im not still mad !

daddy🔐 allow me to make it up to you?

me go on...

daddy🔐 there’s this soirée i’m holding with my crew for the long weekend. lakehouse, few beers, great view - thank kinda thing. i want you there.

me y do u want me der ? (;

daddy🔐 ‘cause i wanna fuck you hard on my mate’s couch whilst everyone else is out by the lake.

oh?

daddy🔐 and also because i want you to get to know my people more. (:

he used a smiley face! he never uses smiley faces!

me hmm, guess ill hv 2 think bout it

because i have to ask my mum first!!

daddy🔐 hope this helps?

he sends me a photo or two back, like it was a trade or something. but jesus christ, isaac killian! he was definitely not kidding about having me on his mind!

daddy🔐 don’t ponder too much. goodnight, love.

“rosé..?” maxi murmurs behind me, rolling around.

shit. i drop my phone in an instant and cringe for my luck. “yeah?”

“you’re taking all the blanket and i’m cold..”

“oh, right...” i exhale with relief, placing my phone on the bedside table. i turn around, shifting the blanket over him and putting my arms around him. phew.

i rest my eyes for a second when maxi is like, “what was that?”

“hm?” i smile as he snuggles between my arms.

“that big cucumber looking thing on your phone.”

i almost choke on my saliva. “t~t~that was...you’re dreaming, maxi. this is all nothing but a dream...” i add some whooo noise effect to make it more believable.

“no i am not!” he asserts.

“yes you are! now shut up or go back to your own room.”

thunder cracks intensely and he doesn’t say anything further. thank you, sweet jesus.

#daddy #story #teacher #student #teacher x student #words #quotes #thoughts #poetry #poems #love #relationship

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authorized-trash · 5 years ago

Text

To Tie a Knot: Chapter Three: Virgil’s Verdict

Ao3

Chapter One , Chapter Two

Trigger Warnings:

Sympathetic Deceit, self hate, mild language, hospital mention, panic

Chapter Summary:

Fate works in mysterious ways (in the dead of night, apparently.)

Word Count:

2,400+

Note:

This is where things get tricky, as the story on Ao3 has Deceit’s name down as Ethel, while here it is Damian. And since im copying and pasting from where i posted it to ao3, i gotta change his name over to here haha. If you see a mistake where i called him the wrong thing, yell at me

Anyways, we’re just going to ignore the fact that im pretty sure its nearly been a year since last time i updated, shhh

reblogs and comments are so greatly appreciated!

Damian was getting real sick of this stupid hospital room.

The walls were a obnoxiously bright gray, and the curtains did little to block out the pale sun of winter. There was this stupid little picture across from his bed, with a cute silhouette couple holding hands, a small loopy string dangling from their fingers.

Damian rolled over onto his side, picking at the slightly peeling paint. He’d been in here for days, and still had an hours wait before he was discharged.

His spine hurt from being in this position for so long, but he’d already explored the hospital five times now.

He didn’t understand what was so important about him being here so long. They already told him the bad news. He’d already passed the mark for another soulmate. He had already come to terms wi-

A lump raised into Damian’s throat, but he swallowed it down. He hadn’t cried yet. He wouldn’t now.

Perhaps the hardest part about this whole ordeal was the pitying looks. The nurses telling him it was alright to cry. The therapist that had stopped by to tell him it wasn’t healthy to act like everything was fine.

Everything was fine though, right? It wasn’t like Damian lost something important. He didn’t lose his job, didn’t lose his house. No, he lost someone he hadn’t even met yet. Surely it wasn’t that important.

Yeah, he’d be a bit lonely, but was that really important? No. It wasn’t, not really.

His stomach twisted into knots. It didn’t bother him, it didn’t. The feeling of nothing he found didn’t mean anything. The complete lack of movement from his fatestring meant nothing.

He ran a hand through his hair, and even after all this time, was a bit disappointed when he didn’t feel the string pull against his finger.

With a sigh, he sat up, reaching for his phone. He had gotten a notification from Remy, five minutes ago. He opened it. They’d be here soon.

His phone buzzed in his hand as he got a message from Emile. Sometime this week they’d swapped numbers, the therapy student wanting to be nice and keep him some kind of company.

-Hey were heading there now, you ready to leave

Damian rolled his eyes.

-no, i really do enjoy it here

-Thought so see you soon

Damian put his phone into his pocket as he stood. Stretching. He stretched out the soreness in his arms and headed out of his room. HE was given some paperwork, which he finished quick enough.

The hospital was on campus of the town university he attended. He would’ve normally just walked to his dorm, but Remy had insisted he drive Damian.

He spotted Remy’s car, recognizing the sunglasses clad male as he opened the side door.

“What, no Emile today?” Damian asked as he buckled in.

“He had work. Where do you wanna go babes? We can go out to eat or-“

“I think I’d just like to go home. Today is just such a lovely day.”

Remy looked out the window to see the thunder clouds rolling up over the hills in the distance. He rolled his eyes as he turned out of the parking lot.

“Yeah well, I’m not leaving you alone all evening, get that into that pretty little head of your’s Dee. We’re goin’ to your apartment if you are, hon.”

“Figured as much,” Damian said as he pulled his hat over his eyes and laid his head back against the head rest. That feeling of emptiness was present again. ‘We’ Remy had said. He was most likely bringing Emile along. It just reminded Damian about how he wasn’t going to get another soulmate. Another fatestring. Another chance. He didn’t do anything wrong to deserve this, did he? Sure he took that pack of gum from the store without paying, but that was years ago. And yeah maybe he was a bit sarcastic and stand offish, but surely-

“Hon I can hear those gears turning in your head.”

Damian flushed. He looked at the frayed end of his fatestring again, messing with it with his other hand. Remy’s eyes caught the movement as they pulled up to a stop light.

“You’re looking at it again, aren’t you.”

“No.” Remy sighed, “Damian, sweetheart, platonic love of my life,” Damian grumbled at that one, “It will be fine. The reassigning is just a little late is all. Perhaps its finding the perfect match to tag you onto right now. It’s rare not to get reassigned babe, there’s no way you won’t be.”

Damian shrugged.

“Okay. That’s it babes. We’re getting some coffee. I ain’t goin’ into some sappy ass monologue just for you to shrug me off. I’m going to cheer you up with chocolate and sparkles. Buckle up.”

“I am.”

“Shuthu’ fuck up.”

Damian hid a smirk as he lifted his hat from his eyes and looked up to see Remy’s irritated driving. They pulled into the starbucks, and Damian attempted to forget the whole soulmate thing for the time being.

Easier said than done.

Two Months Later

“You are being ridiculous.”

“Oh, am I? I’m being ridiculous? You, sir, are ridiculous. I am simply trying to get my work done, now if you’d simply leave me alone,” Roman huffed, crossing his arms over his chest in indignation.

“Ro, honey, you were shouting lyrics to beauty and the beast at nine in the afternoon, people are sleepy.”

Roman gave an outraged cry, he was being ganged up on by the glasses gays! He would not stand for this! “It was not shouting, I was belting! I was singing as loud as my heart desires, I simply wish to follow my heart!”

“More like belching them out,” Virgil snickered into his hoodie sleeve from his seat on the counter. Roman gave a few offended noises that sounded suspiciously like squawking.

“How dare! I am simply trying to memorize my lyrics-“

“And why don’t you,” Logan came up behind him, placing his hands on his shoulders lightly, “Memorize them in your room, and not off the balcony.”

“But there’s no romanticism in that.”

“Baby, I’m sure that nice imagination of yours can think of a nice audience to listen to you,” Patton said, kissing Roman on the forehead as the redhead fell to the couch.

“A more willing audience then our neighbors,” Virgil grumbled, “I don’t want another sound complaint.”

“Better yet,” Patton said, pulling Roman right back to his feet, why don’t we go to your room, and I’ll listen to you..”

Roman perked up like a puppy, nodding and already pulling Patton into his room. Logan and Virgil watched them leave, both with love stricken looks.

“This happens every night,” Logan said, walking to the coffee pot to poor him another cup.

“Yeah well, it’s a routine at this point,” Virgil said, eyeing the new cup in Logan’s hands, “You’re not planning on staying up all night with that, are you?”

Logan sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I do need to stay up late, yes. I have an essay that needs edited.”

“Logan you are going to work yourself to death one of these days.”

“And you plan on sleeping soon?”

Virgil grumbled some excuses, just as Logan thought he would. The bespectacled male smiled into his mug as he brought it to his lips to drink.

“Whatever idiot, I’m going to bed. And yes, whatever, by bed I mean I’m going to be on my phone for another hour or two. Sushi. I- I mean- damnit, sue me.”

Logan laughed, setting his drink down and pulling Virgil into his arms and off the table. The emo grumbled but returned the embrace anyways. Logan gave him a peck to his lips, brushing the hair from his eyes.

“Goodnight Virgil, please attempt to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Virgil said, pushing away from Logan. He was sure his face was a deep red, but he didn’t expect Logan to notice as he rushed away down the hall.

Logan smiled again. He wasn’t normally the one to be all lovey-dovey, but it was late and he was in a good mood. A great mood actually. Life was good, stable, had a rhythm to it. Logan liked to keep things organized, liked to have a schedule, a routine.

There had been no outside factors messing up this schedule for a few years now, and he planned on keeping it that way.

He finished is coffee and work sometime in the early hours. He couldn’t tell when, as he had immediately curled into the bed next to his soulmates minutes after. Sleep made his eyelids heavy as he drifted off to sleep, completely unaware of the faint numbing feeling in his fingers.

Morning came with a buzz of an alarm clock. It was annoying, and loud, but it did its job well.

Logan woke up the same way every day. He’d carefully untangle himself from his fiances, wincing as his bare feet hit the cold ground. He’d yawn as he exited their shared room and entered the bathroom. He’d brush his teeth, shower, and leave. He’d start the coffee and solve a word-cross puzzle. He’d make himself a Crofter’s covered piece of toast, leave a small note for his partners, and depart for work.

This morning shouldn’t have been any different. He woke up, untangled himself, stretched and yawned. He left the room and entered the one across the hall. He was too tired to notice when he reached for his toothbrush. Didn’t notice as he rinsed his mouth out. He noticed as he patted his mouth dry with a hand towel.

He dropped the cloth into the sink and shouted, stumbling back until he hit the wall. He shoved his hand into his pajama pockets, trembling all over. A feeling of dread filled him, the feeling he got when something major messed with his schedule. An unknown constant added to his perfectly mapped out life.

Logan heard his fiances start to stir and get up. He took his hands out of his pockets. They trembled violently, bringing them in front of him, praying that he was wrong, he hadn’t seen what he thought he did.

With a shaky intake of breath, he confirmed the impossible.

There was a thin yellow string attached to his pinky finger where there hadn’t been last night.

“Logan?! Logan are you alright?” Patton was the first to round the corner. He had shot up when he heard the scream and thump. His breath caught in his throat. Roman and Virgil were next, damn near getting wedged in the door with how fast they both rammed into it. Logan was shaking his head in disbelief, staring at his hands, at the four strings that were connected to each finger. The others looked down as well, at the string that had connected itself to their pinky fingers.

“How is that possible?” Roman asked in disbelief, messing with the string. Logan just shrugged, exhaling shakily.

“It shouldn’t be- you are born with strings, you shouldn’t be able to gain them.”

“Who are they?” Patton asked as they all looked up at each other. They had five soulmates. Five. That was a ridiculous number, absolutely unheard of.

“I guess,” Virgil swallowed, “I guess we’ll find out when we find them.”

Damian woke up with the feeling that he’d been hit by a truck. Everything was sore, and his hand hurt to move. Maybe he slept on it weird.

He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, wincing as his fingers tugged weirdly. They felt like the circulation had been cut off, they were all sleepy and heavy.

He got up, shivering as his toes touched the freezing floor of his apartment. He could see his breath in front of him.

He really needed to fix that heater.

Walking into his kitchen, he made himself a cup of coffee, his eyes barely open. His fingers gave another uncomfortable tug. Weird.

Slugging into the bathroom, he took a shower, running his hands of his face. Perhaps it was a good thing he was never reassigned a soulmate. The ugly scar on half his face would scare them off.

He dried off afterwards, brushing his teeth. He looked at himself long and hard in the mirror, scrutinizing every inch. He had school and practice today, enough people would see him to need makeup, and he applied the simple face he wore with practiced ease.

It didn’t do much to cover up the scars, but it was something.

He left the house with his coffee in hand and backpack slung over his shoulder, wearing a black long coat and a scarf. It was beginning to feel a lot like winter, and Damian wasn’t one to like the cold.

The walk to campus wasn’t horribly long. Just a walk through the park and up the block. He was pretty fit and in shape, both from the walk and practice, so it no longer bothered him any.

Damian ignored the few looks he got from passerby. There seemed to be a lot of them today. Odd. He had lived here for a while now, surely most these people who were routinely out at this time had gotten over their staring phase.

He spotted Remy waiting at the fence as always, speeding up slightly to catch up with him. The glasses clad male waved without looking up from his phone.

“Hey hot stuff, how’s your morning been?” Remy asked, still texting. Probably Damian if one was going off the fond look on his face.

“Dreadful,” Damian grumbled, leaning against the fence, “I must have pulled a muscle in my arm or something, it hurts something awful.”

“Uh huh. Well, I wish the best for you babes. Maybe take some meds or somethin’ before class?” Remy looked up at him over his glasses. Damian nodded, running a hand through his hair, missing how Remy followed them movement.

“Yes well that’s a giv-“

“Holy shit babe,” Remy exclaimed suddenly, grabbing a hold of Damianl’s wrist.

He moved out of the way of the street light, holding Damial’s wrist out, staring at the shadows on the ground in absolute disbelief.

“You have four and you didn’t tell me?!” He have shrieked in excitement, looking up at Damian in surprised. The other man raised a concerned eyebrow.

“Four wh-“ His throat closed in on itself, and the world around him seemed to melt away as he stared at his hand. Four- four strings. There were four fatestrings connected to his fingers. Four-

Four soulmates?

Taglist:

To be added later

#sanders sides #ts fandom'ts sides #soulmate au #soulmates #remy sanders #emile sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #deceit sanders #damian sanders #sympathetic deceit #to tie a knot #ttak #sanders sides soulmate au #fatestring #holy shit this took forever

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ceo-of-spinelxjasper · 5 years ago

Text

Why I think Spinel could be the key to Jasper’s redemption.

An essay under the cut.

Okay, so if I’m wrong, then just consider this whole post an AU.

I actually have been trying not to post this anywhere because i thought posting my theories/headcanons would jinx everything.

But now I don’t care because...AU.

But anyways, ON TO THE ANALYSIS!

So, many people have already been speculating that Spinel and Jasper are going to have a fight in SUFuture.

Which would be hecking EPIC!

Like, Spinel is an incredibly great fighter with her elasticity powers and is very strong as seen in the movie. Able to lift large chunks of earth and hurl them, can make a fist so huge and deliver the punch with so much force that it breaks the giant gem on top of the injector, and yeet Steven above the clouds. (as well as spring herself that high too.)

And we have seen Jasper’s strength in the show. We know she’s strong, she’s a perfect quartz soldier, the best thing to ever come out of Pink Diamond’s failed colony.

Speaking of that, Let’s address Jasper.

It has been confirmed by Rebecca that despite the status Jasper had on Homeworld, she still hated herself.

She was called the ‘Kindergarden Quartz That Could’ and stuff like that. She took out dozens of Crystal Gems during the war. So she was very popular on Homeworld and highly valued.

So much so, that they sent a team to find her. They didn’t care about the Lapis Lazuli (which i think are also gems of high status going off of their dresses and the fact they they are made for terraforming planets)

They also didn’t care about the Peridot that called Yellow Diamond a clod and betrayed her species to help the enemy. You’d think they’d want to take her back and punish her or shatter her but nope. They only cared about Jasper.

Despite her status, Jasper hates herself. Hates that she is from a failed colony, from a beta kindergarden, from a stupid planet like Earth, and hates that even after all her fighting, she was unable to protect her Diamond.

Not to mention, she might hate herself a little more now because now, she looks wrong with her corruption spots and horns, and she was trying to kill her Diamond the whole time she was attacking Steven. She probably feels like an idiot for not being able to figure it all out. (but no one could have known) Of course, going off of the image of her in the intro, I think her current mindset is: “Pink sucks! Rose sucks! And Steven sucks!”

Now, let’s take a look at another gem who hates herself.

Spinel.

In the movie, it is obvious that Spinel hates herself. Its mostly her appearance she seems to hate, but i think its safe to say she hates herself for her actions as well.

In the movie, she says all sorts of things like: “wont they all be not exactly incredibly thrilled to see me like this?”

“don’t act like you want me here!”

“you expect me to believe you want me, LIKE THIS?!”

“when you change you change for the better, when i change, i change for the worst!”

“I used to be not good enough! Just not good enough for pink! and now? I’m not good at all!!”

“yeah but..they’ve never seen me like this..”

and in the Drift Away song, she sings:

“isn’t that lovely, isn’t that cool? And isn’t that cruel? And aren’t I a fool to have..happily listened, happy to stay, happily watching her drift away.”

Not only does Spinel hate her appearance, but she also hates herself because she thinks she was such an idiot to never realize that Pink was never coming back for her.

She also probably hates herself for never realizing she was annoying Pink. Had she known, she probably would have tried to change herself for her. Its clear that she would have done anything for Pink (i mean, she stood in a garden for 6,000 years under the impression that her Diamond just wanted to play a game.)

But its not her fault. She was literally created to be childish, naive and trusting.

Even after she was redeemed, She didn’t want to be around Steven because, although they were now friends, Spinel still didn’t want to start with him, feeling she had messed up with him so badly she didn’t deserve to hang around him while she healed and learned to love again. She wanted start over fresh with somebody who she didn’t mess up with yet. Even though Steven clearly cared for her to some extent and wanted her to be happy.

Now Spinel lives with the Diamonds. I have no idea how the Diamonds will treat her or if she will be truly happy with them (since SUFuture has yet to air as of this post) but judging by the shot in the intro with Spinel just chillin’ on Yellow’s shoulder, she’s probably fine.

But i feel like she’d still hate herself despite being surrounded and loved by all her new friends.

Just like Jasper hates herself despite being perfect and her status and how so many things were not even her fault.

i guess my theroy/headcanon is, maybe somehow Spinel and Jasper end up fighting (like idk Spinel just joins the fight for peace or whatever)

Maybe Steven is there too.

But it’s Spinel who really gets through to her, in the only language that Jasper can truly understand.

The language of fighting.

Eventually, Spinel is able to get through to Jasper, maybe not exactly winning the physical battle, but not really losing either.

Jasper thinks it’s impossible for her to have a normal life after all she’s done, all she’s been through, and attacking Steven the way she has.

And Spinel relates. She’s been through the same things. They’ve been through the exact same things.

Wronged by Pink and traumatized by her selfish actions.

Attacking Steven with intent to murder and knowing it was wrong even after learning Steven was not Pink and had nothing to do with her mistakes.

The constant self hatred. Unable to see how anyone, especially Steven, could ever forgive them or care about them.

Not to mention, Jasper says:

“No one I fuse with, ever wants to stay...”

Yes, Jasper says that at a time where she only wants to fuse for power, and doesn’t realize the reason gems didn’t stay fused with her is because she was toxic and forceful.

But what if that line can still apply to her. What if she is thinking no one would want to be with her (friend or romantically) because of who she used to be.

Not to mention, just because she is good now, doesn’t mean she will be a perfect cinnamon roll, she’ll still have an aggressive personality. And she will think she will be unlikable, especially since nobody can understand her.

But Spinel can understand. She can understand everything.

Ol’ Spinel who’s just found the perfect new friend.

Her new best friend, Jasper.

Again, this was made before SUFuture and this was made assuming Jasper is even getting redeemed at all and assuming Steven will have little to no involvement in that redemption.

so if im wrong, just consider all of this an AU.

#spinel #spinel su #spinel steven universe #jasper #jasper su #jasper steven universe #steven universe #steven universe the movie #steven universe future #steven universe theory #spinel x jasper #jasper x spinel #i know there are hardly any people shipping them but wtf is the ship name?#spinsper?#jasnel?

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blue-eyedangel21 · 4 years ago

Text

I’m sorry..

So I wrote a whole essay yesterday only for tumblr to be really stupid and I lost it. Anyways, I came to write out my feelings and my thoughts before being done with this tumblr. I've mentioned this tumblr to you before and you didn't care enough to even look at it for yourself. So I'm sure me typing all this is a huge waste of time but its worth losing this amount of time to let out everything I need to, to move on. It's time I put this all in my past. So we tried again recently. And I fucked it up. Because that's all I've been doing for years now. I'm really sorry, truly, for how i behaved and lashed out on you. It's not okay how I handled that situation. But I have told people time and time again that I am NOT doing well mentally or emotionally. And I was not kidding nor exaggerating, as you had to find out the hard way. I did try to calm myself down when I was mad and said how I felt and what I thought at first in the most calm way I knew how then you proceeded to be an asshole and talk to me sideways. So I lost my shit. You had the opportunity to see my ugly"asshole" side. You say I can't handle yours when I dealt with it for a year, but you couldn't handle mine after ONE time of lashing out on you. I did NOT ghost you. I told you in the voice clip, that I was done. YOU said you weren't listening to it. So therefore it was your fault that you didn't know i was done. Your fault that you didn't take the time to hear what I had to say and went around saying I ghosted you. In that moment of anger, I was done with you. But of course like always after my anger and feelings have calmed down, I felt like shit and regretted how I behaved and the stupid decisions I make when I'm upset. So in all of that out of control emotion, I lost you. And IT IS MY FAULT. And yes I do regret it. But what is done is done. I admitted to being the problem. But im not all of what was wrong in that relationship. You too had issues of your own that you did not hold yourself accountable for. And I dont find it fair that I had no problem admitting I was the issue and holding myself accountable for that and my behavior. However I rarely ever heard you own up to your shit. So I'm not taking all the blame but I can take most of it because some of it was me too and not just you. But I bet you are okay with me taking the blame for all of it. The constant leaving you was not because I wanted to but because of how you made me feel. Yet I felt like I couldn't live with you, I also couldn't live without you. And that was the confusing part. Why i probably kept going back and forth. I never felt this way about anyone . I never felt like I couldn't live with them but I couldn't live without them either. You have disrespected me many times and I bit my tongue and said nothing. My whole life I've been around drama and bullshit and narcissistic abuse.. so I dont know how to be confrontational in a healthy way or how to communicate effectively without feeling like im always the problem or im wrong or my feelings are wrong. And etc. It's hard to explain but a lot of that has to do with what I had to deal with growing up and still somewhat dealing with it as an adult. So im trying to break myself from bad, unhealthy, toxic behaviors and habits. So thats why im still doing and reacting the way i am. I am 25 years old and still dealing with that shit, its not part of my past yet, but it will be. So thats just explaining why I'm like this, not excusing it. So the times I left were mostly YOUR fault. But you also left at least 2 times too..so it isn't all me. Every time I would for sure leave you alone, youd come running back. Just when I thought I could move on here you were. And sometimes I was the one running back. Like I said i was confused. But im not running back this time. I'm not gonna reach out to you. I dont hate you nor do I love you any less. I still love you with all of my heart and that hasn't changed nor will it ever even if that has changed for you because of how I've hurt you. But for me this is speaking my truth. And thsts the truth. I'm sorry that i threw everything we were trying to build together, in the garbage over an argument and because of my emotions and my mental health being so terrible. If I could go back and change that I would but we are better off going our separate ways. I'm sorrh I had to block you but I had to block Sierra too. I do not appreciate her posts. Feel what she may but what I wrote was honest and wasn't just about you but about others I've hurt along the way. You are not the only one. I don't care that she feels that way or if she doesn't like me anymore. She's not in my shoes nor are you, to understand or try to understand. I already admitted to being the issue so if she didn't like what I posted on my fb she could've just deleted and blocked me. But instead of reacting in a bad way i deleted and blocked her because i dont need negativity when im trying to heal and move on. I dont need her judgmentYou sent19 minutes agoNor do I need yours. You are always gonna see me as the bad guy and that's fine. But im no longer looking at myself that way. I'm seeing a woman who is trying to break herself from toxic ways and toxic behavior but is struggling to do it while also going through a lot of shit. Im flawed just like you..I'm not perfect. Not even close to it. I've been understanding and patient and always trying to see your perspective and its never really been a two ways street with you. You expect that from me but don't expect to give it back. And I'm tired of that. Been tired of that. I put it in alot of effort to make shit work when I was trying to fix things but I got tired, Bee. I didn't take you seriously because every time I tried to i didnt feel like you were taking it seriously enough to change your ways and your lifestyle. I wanted you to work so you had an income to better yourself and your future and also to help tatianna with Julian. As a single mom it is hard to take care of a kid by yourself and I wanted you to try to help her financially at least. And not only a job but to stop drinking because I don't want you to end up in a coffin at such a young age. And to leave behind your son. How fair is that to Julian? I love you, bee. I never want anything bad to happen to you even if you don't believe that. You're the only one who doesn't see how much i love you or how bad you have had an emotional toll on me. For some reason you're blinded by all of that. You say i didn't love you but if i hadn't I would've been done with you the very first time we broke up in November . But no I fell hard for you and put a lot of effort and love into us only for us to fall apart. So.. I hope you know i wanted a family with you too. I wanted to wake up next to you and my daughter, and one day maybe. Not just my daughter. But a child of our own. With big blue eyes and curly hair.. that looked like you. I wanted a lil boy that looked like you with my eyes and hair and your face. I wanted that more than i could tell you. I never could tell you that because i got embarrassed. But I wanted that, with you. Not anyone else and now i feel like that I don't want another relationship. Nor do i want to even bother starting over with someone else and feeling like this again. I don't even care anymore. Im so drained and exhausted. You were the love of my life. I fucked it up and now the bed I made, I have to lay in. So yeah you get the satisfaction of knowing I'm hurting and regretting what I did. But I get the satisfaction of never allowing myself to make this mistake again with another person and to focus on my issues with myself so I don't bring this kind of baggage and problems into my future relationships. So maybe it's for the better that we move on. Maybe one day you can forgive me enough to not hate me and maybe if I'm lucky enough to at least call you my friend. I loved you like I've never loved anyone and it is hard to write without crying but I know that sometimes life is pain and heartbreak and that if we were ever meant to be than maybe somewhere down the road we could rekindle a friendship or more but maybe the timing is off and you were my right person but wrong time. . Maybe you'll come back...maybe you won't but please know you had my heart like no others. I felt that in my soul. I felt it when I looked at you. When I thought about you. When i talked about you. When I looked in your eyes. When you smiled or laughed. When you were doing whatever and I was just staring at you. With every kiss. Every moment in your arms. When you were sleeping so peacefully. When you were being you, I felt like i was home and I cant tell you the last time i felt that way. It was when my grandma was alive. So to find someone who was even close to feeling like home is a serious misfortune to lose like this. And losing you and this relationship will be a grieving process for me. I had to lose the one thing that brought me happiness, wholeness and love. So I'm heartbroken it has come to this because of my actions. But I love you Bee. Please take care of yourself.

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comfortmarvelimagines · 6 years ago

Text

how does it feel, to have a family?

found the beginning of this in my google drive, so decided to finish it ! we love irondad also peter being The Best friend/brother :) i should be studying rn but im so overwhelmed with everything and writing is truly escapism at its finest

Tony already felt like he knew y/n.

Somewhere, in between Peter’s ramblings of what he ate for breakfast and the latest corner-store robbery, little pieces of them found their way in. That they helped Peter on his english essay and got him an A. Or that they dyed their hair last week, and Peter thought it was super cool that they had the confidence to do something different. Even down to what they talked about over lunch. For the most part, Tony just accepted this like he accepted Peter’s nerdy puns and Star Wars theories, a part of him that just was. Like Ned and MJ, y/n was a support. A friend. That was good, right? Teenagers needed friends, god knows Pete could use more of them outside of the suit. So y/n became a constant, background hum in the anecdotal existence of Peter Parker.

This went on for months. Peter’s trio of friends became four and everything seemed fine. Normal. Until Peter let tidbits of information that set off alarm bells for Tony, the first of which came after a long weekend in the labs. Tag-team parenting was harder than anticipated, he ruminated after realising Peter was not in the car when he should’ve been.

“Peter, why are you making another sandwich? You’ve already got lunch and we’ve got to leave if you’re gonna get to school on time. May’ll have my head if you’re late again.”

“Y/n hasn’t had lunch at all last week and I haven’t seen them eat anything at all since Thursday, I thought I’d try to help,” Peter mumbled, jamming the lid back on the peanut butter jar.

“Yeah, cool, okay, whatever, just get your spider butt down to the car.” That was strange, but it could mean anything. They could’ve forgotten to eat, or simply eaten when Peter wasn’t around- it’s not like they were together 24/7. Regardless, it was really none of Tony’s business what Peter’s friends did, or didn’t do. What was Tony’s business, was getting his spiderling to his education. “Underoos, let’s go!”

***

The second time was when Peter left his school bag dumped on the floor of the lab, chemistry textbooks and loose papers sprawled out under the workbench. Tony only realised this as he tripped on the strap, bracing himself against the desktop to stop him falling and knocking over a piece of machinery in the process. Grumbling, he knelt down to replace the contents back of the bag, preparing a lecture for Peter about the importance of lab safety and keeping track of his belongings, when he noticed a sheet of paper crumpled into a ball. Curious, he unfolded it, reading its contents under his breath. “Midtown School of Science and Technology… Parents Evening… huh. Wonder if he remembered to show May this.” Shaking his head at the unreliability and overall disorganised-ness of the teen, he set off to go find him.

“Pete, no wonder you’ve lost so many backpacks if you can’t even remember to take it to your room when you get here! How many times do I have to tell you, just because you can just stick yourself to the ceiling doesn’t mean that the rest of us want a concussion-”

“Sorry Mr Stark.”

“Oh, right, so when you’re in trouble it’s back to formalities? ‘Mr Stark’ still almost broke his wrist regardless of what you call me… What are you doing?”

“Texting”

“Texting who? Adult’s talking, doesn’t mean the kid gets to zone out.”

“Y/n”

The softness in Peter’s voice suddenly jerked Tony back to the previous time y/n had come up. He remembered it’d had something to do with a sandwich, of worry and not eating. It suddenly struck him that they’d hardly been mentioned at all since; something gone relatively unnoticed in the constant stream of babble from Peter, but was in retrospect was decidedly odd. He decided to play nice.

“Are they okay?” Tony paused for a second. “I haven’t heard you mention them in a while.”

He regretted it immediately, because Peter shut down. “Yeah, they’re fine. I’m sorry, I won’t leave my bag in the lab again.” He walked out, grabbing the backpack from Tony’s hand on the way out, leaving the older man too stunned to even respond. Something had struck a nerve, and if it was hitting his kid that hard he was determined to find out.

***

The third time was when Tony went digging.

The phone call had started with no intention of mentioning y/n; he simply wanted to talk to May and ask her about the flyer from Peter’s school. He had meant to bring it up earlier when he confronted him about the backpack, but after the dramatic ‘storm out and sulk somewhere else’ sequence that Peter had pulled, Tony had thought better of it and left the kid to his own devices for the night. Instead, he went straight to May, to at the very least make sure she knew about the flyer and that she was going. She picked up on the third ring.

“Hey, is everything okay?” May sounded, exhausted, like she’d been woken up by her phone. Ignoring the fact, Tony proceeded.

“Did you get the flyer about the parent information evening?”

“No, what parent evening? Pete hasn’t mentioned anything, if that’s what your getting at”. In her apartment, May shifted her quilt and propped herself up on her elbow, intrigued.

“It’s on the, uh, 6th. Sorry, it’s kind of hard to read since your nephew shoved it down the bottom of his school bag.”

“Shit,” May whispered under her breath. “I’m working a double shift that day. I won’t be finished work until 10, there’s no way I’d be able to make it. No wonder he didn’t say anyth-”

“I’ll go.”

In all honesty, Tony really didn’t know why he said that. Not in doubt of his love for his kid, but in fear of overstepping boundaries. Were they there yet? What would Peter think? He hadn’t asked, maybe he wasn’t comfortable with Tony just showing up to a school function. Too late now.

“Tony, are you still there?”

“What, yeah, May, just multitasking.” “I said, if you’re going to go, there’s something you should know about. You’ll have to talk to Peter about it though, it’s not really my place to say. Just... ask him about y/n, his friend.”

Huh. Y/n. Again. Interesting. “Okay, thanks May. I’ll talk to you again later, have a good night.” “You too Tony, maybe try and sleep at some point.”

“Will do. FRIDAY, end call.” Tony rubbed his hand over his face. There was something going on, but if Peter wasn’t going to talk then he’d never figure it out. “FRIDAY, where is Pete?”

“Mr Parker is currently in his room. Would you like me to alert him to your imminent arrival?”

“Sure, FRI.” Tony hurried to the elevator. He needed to somehow get to the bottom of whatever was going on. There were several possibilities. Y/n and Peter could have had some sort of falling out, a fight. There could’ve been a relationship thrown into the mix, teenage angst and hormones jarring their friendship. Or, as Tony feared, something had happened to y/n, something Peter was trying to fix but, for whatever reason, couldn’t. Before they could get to that, though, he was going to have to talk about the parent night.

***

Of course, these things never go quite as planned.

“Pete?”

No answer.

“Pete, please let me in”

Really, it didn’t matter either way. Tony had every intention of overriding the code.

A sniffle sounded from just behind the door. “I’m fine, Mr Stark.”

“Yeah, and I’m the queen of England.” Tony realised he was handling the situation in the exact opposite way he’d wanted to. “Look, kid, I just wanted to talk about the parent evening at school.”

“I already know May can’t go, it’s fine.” Peter’s voice was barely audible, choked.

“No, see, here’s the thing, I talked with her earlier and we were thinking maybe I could go in her place,” he slid down the door to sit, knees up, shoulder pressed to the doorframe. “I completely understand if that’s too much, or if it’s overstepping the boundaries of what this,” he gestured even though Peter couldn’t see, “Is.” There was a tense, almost awkward, moment of silence, before the door slowly shifted inwards. Tony accepted the olive branch, pulled himself standing and went inside. Looking around, he realised Peter had balled himself up behind the door, head buried in his knees. Tony had never been more thankful that the kid wasn’t looking at him; he was pretty sure he’d done a terrible job of hiding his reaction to the uncharacteristic sight.

The door was pushed closed with a soft click. Mindful to keep distance, Tony settled himself on the carpet a metre or so away.

The sob that followed broke his heart in two.

“Hey, buddy, hey, can you look at me for a sec?”

Peter’s puppy-brown eyes blinked over his folded forearms. Suddenly, he seemed worlds younger than 15.

“Did you want me to go to the parent night?”

Slow nod.

“Okay. That’s good, great! Can’t wait to hear all about how great my genius kid is…” he realised he was getting off track again when Peter’s face dipped back out of sight.

“You don’t have to, but did you wanna tell me what’s got you so upset? I know something was up earlier…” That was as close as Tony was going to get to apologising for not being softer, sooner. Something must’ve struck the same nerve as earlier in the lab, because Peter’s breathing hitched.

“It’s y/n.”

“I know I asked earlier, but is everything okay between you two?”

As if knocking down a dam wall, Peter launched into a rambled explanation. “May usually goes to both our classes because their parents don’t go. And lately they haven’t had any food to eat at school and they’re getting really skinny and I don’t know what’s goin’ on but I’m worried, ya know? Like I wanna save them like I save people when I’m Spider-Man but I can’t help and I don’t know what to do. May said we can only do what we can but I dunno what that means either, Mr Stark, like do I just deliver groceries to their house as Spider-Man or somethin?”

Taking mental note of how hysterically high Peter’s voice was, Tony made sure to keep his level, barely above a whisper. “Peter, do you think they’re being hurt at home?”

***

“H-heyyyy, y/n,” Peter stuttered as you swung open your locker. He was leaning against the wall, obviously trying to act casual and making his strange behaviour even more pronounced. You just raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to drop the charade.

“Okay, okay, yeah uh so are you doin’ anything on Friday?”

“Interesting question, but no. You do realise that today is Friday, unless you’re talking about next week, which I’m free too. You know I don’t do anything on Fridays,” you turned to grab your AP psych textbook out of the top shelf of your locker, not realising the bottom of your shirt rode up to the base of your ribcage. When you turned back around, Peter’s eyes were practically bulging out of his head. “What?”

“Oh, uh, nothing. I just… Mr Stark asked if I wanted to have a friend over to the compound for the weekend, since we don’t really have much to work on… and Ned’s busy… and it’d be really super cool there’s a whole theatre room and a bunch of Lego sets and some of the avengers might be there…” Peter trailed off.

“What are you saying?”

“Did you wanna come to the compound for the weekend?”

You laughed. “Peter, it sounds cool and all but I don’t have any clothes or anything on me for a whole weekend. Unless you or Mr Stark knows how to sew jeans from my textbook, than I’m super unprepared.”

“Wait… Aren’t you a similar clothes size as me? I have a bunch of clothes there, you can just borrow mine. Or we could get Happy to swing past your hou-”

“NO. I mean, I, uhm, don’t have a key? So I can’t get into my apartment? So I can’t get my clothes? I guess I left my keys at home?” You trailed off into an awkward laugh, scuffing your sneakers into the cheap linoleum.

“Okay, cool cool cool. Uh, do you mind wearing your jeans twice? My clothes would just be a little oversized on you, but like does it matter if you have a clean top and something to sleep in?”

“Guess not. Are you sure you want me there?”

“Dude, are you serious? Of course I do! You’re my friend,” Peter hesitated, noticing your hands fumbling with the sleeves of your hoodie. A nervous habit. “It’ll be fun, I promise. I’ll see you after class, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

***

“Hey kid. Hey, kid’s friend,” Happy’s greeting was curt, delivered with a glance up at the rear-view mirror as you and Peter a slid across the back seat of the car.

“Hey Happy,” Peter responded. You said nothing, eyes down, practically radiating anxiety. At Happy’s enquiring glance, he shook his head; now was not the time or the place to be asking questions. That’d come later, if it got to that point. Peter wanted to try and make you as comfortable as possible, not freak you out.

The rest of the car ride was silent. You weren’t asked to speak, and so didn’t; and it almost felt like there was an unspoken agreement between Happy and Peter to just wait. Nothing much happened after, either. You followed Peter to his room, and sat cross-legged on the soft carpet to construct a Lego set. Eight pm rolled around and Tony poked his head round the door. “Hey, Pete, and y/n, yeah? You guys hungry?”

Peter looked at you and you shook your head. You’d already accepted a granola bar off MJ and the banana from Ned’s lunch, you honestly didn’t think you could stomach much more. You weren’t sure if it were even medically possible, but you were pretty certain your stomach had shrunk in the last few months. In staring steadfastly at the lego in your hands, you missed yet another knowing glance over your head; unbeknownst to you, both Peter and Tony’s concern for you had just increased tenfold.

“Okay, well, we’re ordering pizza anyways, so what do ya want?”

“Uh, I’ll grab a meat-lover's and they’re vegetarian, so I guess a margherita?”

“Cool. Avengers are in the living room, if you wanna hang out there for a bit,” Tony turned and left, asking FRIDAY if she “got all that” as he walked. Peter let the silence hang, almost awkwardly, before asking if you wanted to take Tony’s offer of moving to the living room. You shrugged.

“I don’t mind, whatever’s easiest- whatever you want, I don’t know.”

“I promise you they’re super nice.”

You moved to unfurl you legs, shaking out the numbness as you stood. Your friend moved to follow, albeit in a significantly more athletic fashion, taking the lead as you waited for him to walk slightly ahead before you followed him down the hall. Sure, this wasn’t exactly what you’d expected, but then again could you really expect anything in this place?

***

The one expectation that was realised was that the Avengers were loud. Arguing over the TV playing something no one was watching, what felt like three conversations going simultaneously. But they were nice, and after a while you felt almost a part of this sitcom-esque, hodgepodge family of heroes. If it were anyone else, it would have felt almost painfully domestic; the mario kart competition, the playful insults around mouthfuls of garlic bread, the throwing of cushions countered by almost subconscious brushes of apology. The unspoken need for safety, for calm, for them to have this escape, was all too obvious. You felt that need, you filled that need with Peter and Ned and MJ and sometimes, it was enough. But this… This was different.

The fun and games went on for a few hours, replaced later in the night with movies and yawns and collapsed bodies under blankets. The quiet was nice, the casual gestures of affection between them all taking you by surprise. Despite giving in to expecting the unexpected, you were still caught off guard when the one-and-only Tony Stark came and took a seat next to you on the floor.

“So,” he looked at you hard, scrutinising. An involuntary shiver wracked your spine.

“I was talking to Pete. And May. About Midtown’s parent-teacher night,” the pause was anticipatory, waiting for a reaction. The only one he got was you staring even harder at your socked feet, head bowed.

“Kid.”

No reaction.

“Hey, look at me. You’re not in trouble, I just think I can help with something.”

This elicited a tilt of your head, a glance through your peripheral. The same trick that worked on Peter worked on you, to some extent.

“I guess Peter already told you May can’t go, and so he wouldn’t be going”

Nod.

“And I was talking to May, and we agreed that if you were comfortable, I’d be more than happy to act as your parent as well as Peter’s,” at the mention of his name, Peter sidled over to join the conversation.

“Y/n, ya know, I know your home family isn’t the best, but you’re my family. And that- that means my family is your family too. You know May loves you. I love you, Ned and MJ love you. Everyone here loves you too. You don’t even really need to talk for people to see you’re amazing. You deserve all the family in the world.”

You moved your hand to rest on his, a silent thanks that meant more than you could ever put into words.

“Will you let us be your family?”

“Pete can vouch, I’m amazing at being a humiliating parental figure,” Tony received a playful slap on the arm from Peter in response.

“Shut up, you’re a great da- mentor”

“Huh.” Tony shifted to lean back against the sofa. “I don’t mean this as a one off, either. You need something, you gotta tell someone, kid. Tell Peter, Ned, May, I don’t care who. But if what Peter’s saying is right, and you’re not… Not being treated right, we wanna help. We can help.”

“He’s right. Y/n, none of our families are conventional. I don’t have parents anymore, but I do have May and this whole deal. Tony didn’t have the best relationship with his parents, but he’s made his own family with Pepper and Rhodey and Happy and me.”

You heard a sob, and it took a few seconds for it to sink in that it was you. Peter pulled you into his side and you clung, thanking him and Tony over and over and over again because it was so nice. Too nice. It was unfathomable how any human beings could seem to genuinely care and want to do something and it wasn’t just empty promises it was real-

You weren’t alone. You were with family.

And you knew that you weren’t completely on your own before, of course you did. You went to school every day and saw your friends and it was okay, kinda. But keeping that secret and being okay and making out like the shit at home didn’t affect you? That was hard. But maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t have to do that anymore.

After what felt like a year of wet, messy crying into Peter’s shirt, Tony stood up, back cracking.

“Alright, that’s enough feelings for tonight. Children need to sleep- spider or otherwise,” he directed at Peter before he could even breathe in protest. He bent down to your level, lowering his voice.

“Y/n, we’ll sort all this out tomorrow, yeah? We can make sure you’re getting enough food, schedule so you’re not at your house too much if you don’t want to be, figure out a system so we know if you’re not safe. It’ll be okay, kiddo. We got ya.”

And for the first time in your life, you felt like you were home.

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silencedtechnophile · 6 years ago

Text

==> Do something about it

The ship hummed around him in the darkness. Something, somewhere, was beeping near the meat puppet hung in the rigging that limited his abilities with a biological bottle neck. His head was so fuzzy. Which is what they wanted. He was too smart, they knew what kind of damage he could do if he werent forcefully throttled.

He worked slowly. The plan had come to him in an instant, as he'd gotten encouragement from the helm chat. He could do something. He could affect his situation. He was not fucking helpless, he refused to be.

First he carefully hacked into the mediboard that controlled his blood chemistry. He fiddled around with it so its output would remain steady, but it would cease giving him the brain fogging drugs.

That took a while to make it out of his system, every moment of it afraid someone would draw a random blood draw to double check the mediboard, though that was passingly rare. They trusted their equipment.

As his head cleared his body began to hurt, he had a sudden more complete awareness of the agony of the living wires burrowed under his skin, and the way his shoulders were wreched and taking all his weight.

He had to adjust the output again to smooth out his heart beat so they wouldn't be alerted.

Pain was fine. He could deal with pain, he could think and that was what mattered right now in this moment. Blessed clear thoughts. Every moment he delayed was a moment his gamble might be discovered so he worked quickly, spoofing his address from outside the ship while he expanded his own permissions. HE could open and close doors, he could even open and close airlocks, but he wasn't trusted with them.

He wormed his way into the controls, granting himself admin powers at the root level.

Then he just had to wait.

This was the part he had the least control over. Her movements.

Now that he'd given himself root acess and no longer needed the clarity to hack the ships permissions he left the door he'd created open, and went back in to fix his medications and outputs back the way they had been, by the time he had his opertunity he would be fully drugged again, they wouldn't be able to tell it was him. ------------------ Being the Empress had its perks. No waiting in lines, getting to take par in destruction and culling without consequences, running fleets of ships, not having to tolerate any mischief, being feared and respected by everyone at default. But most importantly? Not having to do shit unless you want to. This is one thing Meenah took advantage of as much as possible. If she didn’t have to get up and go somewhere to get something done, why would she?

In her younger years, the idea of taking the throne had caused her nothing but annoyance and disgust. Being taken care of like a wriggler, being responsible for a planet full of easily influenced and hasty trolls. Taking care of her lusus indefinitely, and having to personally feed her each night. Making a quick and not very discreet exit from her original planet had been a great decision. She’s stood by it since it happened, all those sweeps ago in an universe that never quite fit to her tastes. Being born there had felt like a cruel joke once she knew what she had missed out on.

So when she had spawned here some number of sweeps ago, she had been horrified. Devastated. They won and she, as always, got absolutely shafted by the universe. That is... until she took a good look around and evaluated her situation. Beforus had been a little pond, full of toothless guppies. And she had been a shark, unable to even turn around in the limited space. But Alternia? Alternia was a vast sea, with plenty of prey to sink her teeth into and depths to claim as her own. It was as if this gift universe was molded for her, a refined combination of two planets and the two lives she had lived through. The best part was that she had gotten to float over the hard parts, the initial rise to power and the conquering and culling of her personified roadblocks. The endless cycle of teaching her throneworld to submit.

There’s no shame in admitting she’s fully enjoyed the spoils of her new life, entirely content with trading a few sweeps for her position. Hell, she was a tyrian. There were plenty of sweeps to spare, she would do it again.

Which led to this, a three night streak of kicking up her feet in her own block on the flagship. The Battleship Condescention.

Okay, fine, maybe she should have been doing something more important than catching up on dramatic cinema when there was a rebellion to stomp out with her boot. But things were fine. They were starting to close in on the short, mouthy, ship thief. Her biggest potential problem was nice and cozy some number of floors below her, tucked into his ports and wires like a wriggler to coon. And no one else was stepping up to oppose her. Even the most powerful and feared leaders of societies had to take a break, let the tide ease them out.

Of course, all good things come to an end. This time, it’s the portable communications device implanted into her tiaratop. Already missing her makeshift getaway, she flicked a claw against the gold and her features were illuminated by the live footage of one of her on hand advisors. She scowled at him, lip jutted out and pierced brows raised to put emphasis on her annoyance. “We got a, y’know, a problem.” He grunted, the last word coming out like pr-ah-bl-im. “Sum’thin’ funny, ‘kay. Minor. We’re handling it, swear it ma’am. Got someone on the f’rewalls, set that right. But...”

When the purple hued troll went on to explain, she was furious. Someone had managed to nudge at their security systems and give them a test and it took them a few nights to tell her? Her pan whirled to the worst and most paranoid conclusion. Someone from their session, probably that infuriating time wench or the pirate enthusiast, maybe a turnaround from her own Makara if he’d been fully awakened in their new planet.

She stormed about to get ready, pan immediately set to force her commandeered pissblood battery to help her track down and eliminate the source. If her goons couldn’t get the job done, he was going to do it for them.

“Soon as I grill this guppy, you’re gettin’ sautéed. Fried.” Meenah, better known as the Condesce, set her focus entirely on a stomping beeline for the exit and her threatening tangent. “Pike it or not, best get ya’ affairs in order. Boat t’ sea what the pointy end a’ my golden prod ‘eels like embedded in ya’ b’ass. No shrimp-athy for the in-conch-petent, set a bet’a example for the school.”

The door to her block opened with quiet ‘swish!’ as she took her first step out. And then another. Somewhere, a number of clicks below stationed near the central engines, a troll was probably filled with justifiable anger and excitement. With the Empress there was nothing but the light, sharp sound of her heeled boots in the metal corridor paired with the rough undertone to her flurry of words. The advisor on the other end of her video chat cowered, sputtering excuses as she glared down her defined cartilage nub at him. “And if you e’fin conch-sea-der tryin’ to catch a wave trout’a here, I ain’t mako-in it snappy.” She continued her tirade, satisfied by the way the other troll’s eyes went wide and his jaw slid open. “Yeah, that’s moray p’ike it. Best get ya-shelf practicin’ on a look a’ ray-morse.”

“Actually,” he started, gaze averted to the light over the airlock behind her. It blinked red once, yellow twice, and began to shift to green. “I think -“

“Clam it, small fry!” She stopped her determined march to point a claw at him, as if he were really a few feet ahead of her. “Can’t bay-lieve ya’ got the swimmers to gab at me, blowin’ bubbles slap full a’ bullshark.”

Just behind her, the light held steady at green. The advisor stumbled in his warning, horrified and relieved and stalled by his shock as her hair whipped away from her face and her words trailed off. There’s a second where the familiar sound of the airlock opening seemed to halt time. Meenah looked over her shoulder, and then to the projected feed of the lower blooded troll. For the first time in sweeps, she barked a laugh. And then? “Son of a’ eldritch pailin’ bitch.” She bared her impressive chompers, fins flared backwards in her surprise, disbelief, and pure offense that someone has made an attempt on her life. The tyrian scrambled to dig her claws into the metal wall beside her, a cringe worthy noise produced when they drag through the reinforced metal. “You gotta be krillin’ -“

“Maybe if -“

In what might be the most anticlimactic turntables of a story ever, the airlock smoothly opens the rest of the way. Sweeps in the past, there is a time traveling maroon blooded, grudge obsessed troll glancing through the ages and chortling at a joke no one will understand much less believe. The seadweller’s yellow painted claws dig and clip away in a desperate swing at survival. The hatches to the other blocks through the stem are sealed shut, and whatever artificial air was being released dissipated the minute the immediate area was exposed to space. Meenah had a moment, maybe two, to reflect on the mistakes that led her here. Putting an airlock directly outside the door to her block, entirely for the purpose of disposing of any unwanted visitors. Not once considering that someone might turn this around on her, or capitalize on her desire for the dramatic. Leaving her block using her balancing prongs at all, when a transportalizer would have been safer and faster - but would ultimately have lacked in the build-up of intensity and hostility that a chance to strut and lament and publicly humiliate and shortly thereafter kill her most recent workplace pest. If she had more time, she might have thought of a few more excuses to shift the blame a bit.

Including, but not limited to: This Must Entirely Be Megido’s Fault And Here Is Why, the three part series of essays assembled by Meenah Peixes. Or the potential ways Aranea could have somehow subverted death and the fate of their session altogether to somehow ruin the one fun thing she has EVER had the chance to do, seriously, what a Jealous Jude. Or maybe this is the fault of the younger Vantas, who mysteriously fell into her lap around a sweep ago and... well, he was disappointing as a whole until he managed to actually do a backflip off of the handle and body his way out of holding.The diversion of resources from the facility had been an oversight, and the cause of it was promptly replaced and reassigned to dinner duty. A more appealing way to refer to the main course.

Any of those things could have led to this, but none of them did. All the time in the world, and she likely never would have thought her laziness would play a part in her downfall.

It did, though. The metal peeled away from the support column, and the lurching movement broke her grip. It was inevitable. Meenah tried to yelp out a curse, perhaps one last bit of defamation for her last words, but nothing actually came from her throat. Her lips twisted and her expression caught somewhere between anger and fear. The last thought to coherently hit her ends with ‘- and this bucket of chum is the last thing I get my peepers on, really?’ as she wS forcibly removed from the flagship and sent careening into space.

A few blocks and a couple lifts away, the flabbergasted advisor had already dispatched armed forces. Not that it mattered, he decided. The connection to the tiratop flickers more and more as she departs, but the image of his frozen taskmaster tells him there’s no rescuing from that.

Her skin was flaking with ice, fins back and shining tyrian as they stretched, thin eyes obscured by the ice on her lashes, teeth exposed from where she tried to get the last word. The sight of her being quickly and surprisingly easily dispatched hadn’t left him hopeful for saving her, and the last glimpses of her expression deterred him from even attempting to recover her corpse.

The Empress was dead.

#plot post #bulgerot #character death #murder//

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junseotual · 3 years ago

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u have not missed a thing beloved ! vrvr + 1, 6, and 19 pls 💖

sigh of relief ... i'm so glad i hate missing things

1. who’s your bias?

that's . a very funny question haha can we move on...? it's dongheon but is it also yongseung? or is it perhaps gyehyeon ! and what about hoyoung? who knows, roll the dice it can be any of those four !

6. your favorite song and why?

......... what if i say my beauty.... like ik it's an ost but ... WHAT an ost !!!! ... she's so good she's so great she's so :D and so (sparkles) and so !!!!!! and so (hearts) you know? but also photo. she's so good ... obsessed . but also so gravity !!!!!!!!!!! she's so . like . she's Very emotionally charged BUT at the same time she manages to be very comforting as well? . everything is so waay ... u know? <3 i lov her a lot. there's like 5 others but i'll stop here for now this is my selection for today <3 sorry to privacy and skydive and connect and my face and lay back and wish u were here and fine and heart attack and trigger and o and underdog (that is not 5 that is 11)

i said too much without rlly saying Anything of substance for 19 so. under the cut

19. favorite choreo?

ok let me start by saying that i don't think it's gonna be her but i've watched the gbtb dance practice at least a hundred times by now and i'm not even exaggerating i think we went over a hundred a while ago bc at some point i would watch her at least once a day if not more nd then there's all the times i rewatched her multiple times to stare at members separately and there's times i watched her repeatedly just to destroy my ears but with the need to stare at smth at the same time so like . she's ended up being very important to me over time as u may imagine . But However . let me go watch the dance practices now kjsf OKAY so what i discovered is that i'm rlly a big fan of how they end their choreos .. ? also for the record there seems to be no vrvr choreo that i actively dislike or find boring ... (so that made it harder for me rip) !! there's things i rlly like in most of them!! they're all very fun to watch they're all engaging.... gbtb was the most intense And she was the most familiar obviously so she's getting points for that... (and like i think i could write a full essay on her .) o was rlly rlly nice and there's things i Really like about her a Lot but she may be overdoing it with the body rolls? lay back is rlly addictive there's a lot of details? about her i like? mayb her musicality? idk im just saying words rn . and like she's obviously a classic. there's much to like about connect also !!! nd im a big fan of the beginning of the chorus in my face whatever theyre doing there is oddly so nice to watch.. HOWEVER ! the shocking truth that i have just learned. the answer that is a surprise even to me . i think i have to say that my faves are thunder & get away ?? which is so funny to me because those were the two that i was like yeah i dont think its gonna be them so i almost didnt even open them . for thunder it's like ... i started watching her and i immediately felt something... like ... i saw gbtb and o and trigger before her and those are soso so beloved to me but i was simply enjoying them and when thunder started i like Felt something like . inside of me change like . this is it . it's her . it must be her . ?? wish i could explain it but i can't . as for get away she's the last one i watched and like i was just like getting to a point where i was like ok i wanna be done with this ive been watching these dance practices for so long now and while i do love them im getting kinda tired i need a little break but i wanna be done with this first ..... but so i played her expecting to be at least a little bored or wanting her to end quickly but like ......... i enjoyed her a lot instead???

#(it's not gye i choose to believe that my infatuation is temporary)#for the choreos sorry that my answer is so feeling based but like its what made most sense nd #otherwise theres just a lot of things to point out in like literally every single choreo they have like . Help theres cool moments even in #even in tag tag tag ... like i counted on her to b boring but shes not like . why .#thank u eri i lov u #cherrin 🍒#millie's rep

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lxmxnxscxnt · 7 years ago

Text

orange lights

A/N: OK IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG AHHH but here is part 7 ^^ this one is a little long again sorry and sorry for my bad writing...lol I think I will end orange lights soon. Maybe at part 8 or 9 :) tell me what u think ^^

genre: a n g s t

warnings: language, suicide mentioning, violence

notes: Y/N = your name

start the series > here

The next day you went to school pretty early. Once to finish some homework and you also wanted to avoid everyone else, so nobody could look down at you when you came to school.

But as you sat at your desk in the classroom writing on your English essay you heard something from the outside. Standing up you went over to the window wondering who could be in the school already at this time.

Looking out you could see Jisung and Chenle standing in front of two big guys. Behind the two guys you could see Minah saying something but you couldn’t understand because the windows were closed.

You ran off out of the classroom, down the stairs and outside. Looking left and right to navigate urself you ran to the place under your classroom window standing directly behind Minah.

“I can’t believe you guys are this dumb. You really want to get beaten up huh? Just to protect this pathetic girl. You don’t even know her really geez.“

“But you do or what?“ Jisung hissed back at Minah. “We shouldn’t have done it in the first place. The pathetic one are you Minah so leave us and or friends alone. Especially Y/N.“

You could see the anger in Jisung’s eyes, Chenle standing beside him.

Minah snapped with her fingers giving the two big boys a sign. “Well your decision if you want to get beat up..“

“Yah Nam MinAH!“ You said walking over past Minah and her bullies. Standing in front of Jisung and Chenle now you looked at Minah. But you felt Chenle’s hand on your arm. “Y/N we don’t want to do that anymore. Even if they’ll beat us up you are our friend and-“

“No stop I am okay, really…Minah just leave them alone you got what you wanted.“

“Hah you think this is what I wanted Y/L/N? Wahh no this is not enough I want to see you suffer

Y/N“

“Do whatever you want Minah..just leave them alone.“

“NO! No Noona. We don’t want to do that anymore. We don’t want to keep lying to everyone, to our friends just so..so“ Jisung began. “Just so a bitch like you can have what she wants.“ Chenle ended Jisung’s sentence pulling you behind them. “Fine beat us up go ahead. But in the end you have nothing. We have friends and people who will help us out. Everyone is scared of you or just hangs out with you because of ur money. But we are not scared anymore, we won’t give this to you.“ Chenle was normally such a cute and nice person. Never had you seen him this angry but you could feel his hand shaking so you squeezed it lightly whispering a small ‘thank you’.

Minah’s smile faded quickly the two boys coming closer two the three of you.

You didn’t know what to do. How are you supposed to save this situation.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Or do you guys want to get kicked out of the football team?“ You look up hearing Jaemin’s voice. And there you saw them all of them. You looked at the boys before your gaze stopped on Renjun. Renjun…you missed him so much.

Renjun slowly walked up to Minah. “You guys know Jaemin is the son of your Coach, right?“ Renjun said his gaze still on Minah. The two guys looking each other in shock They apologized to Jaemin. “Oh god n-no we didn’t know. Minah said she is going to kick us out we should have known we are sorry really…“ You were surprised how fast this big guys were so small. They run of immediately leaving Minah surrounded by all of you. Renjun bend over his face really close to Minah’s he looked directly in her eyes.

“We heard everything. Every single word. How could you be so dumb and mess with my- with our friends? This is all over. How could I ever believe a word you said.“ Renjun said lightly pushing Minah. “O-Oppaa…I don’t know what you mean really I…I mean they…“

“Fuck you Minah. Fuck off.“ Donghyuck said as everyone walked past her over to you asking you, Jisung and Chenle if you where ok.

Renjun took your hand pulling you past Minah inside the school. Leaving Minah standing there all alone. As everyone talked Renjun pulled you to the side.

“Y/N.. Im so sorry.. really I “

“Renjun. Everything is okay, okay? This situation was just really fucked up. I would have done the same thing if I where you..“

“No you wouldn’t you would have been at my side just like Jiwoo and Chaewon. And we should’ve done the same thing..I’m- we are really sorry..really“

“Its okay really. I just missed y’all.“

“I missed you too, Y/N.“ Renjun said smiling before you joined the others again.

They day was really strange. Apparently everyone already knew you were innocent because Jeno send an email to the whole school.

Everything changed. Even Sana and Nayeon came to you to apologize. And Minah was all alone. But she couldn’t do anything about it. Because she couldn’t make her father kick everyone of the school.

After school Renjun asked you if you wanted to hang out with them and oc you said yes. Jiwoo and Chaewon also joined you and y’all went to this new burger place. It was just like in the beginning and you where so happy about it. You sat between Renjun and Donghyuck smiling at Donghyuck. “Im sorry really Y/N. And I believed you, but I couldn’t not believe them you know? I hope your not mad…“ Donghyuck said slightly bowing down to you.

“How can I be mad at my best friend?“ You chuckled pushing him playfully receiving a small smile from him. You hung out at the restaurant until late in the night because it was a Friday.

At 11 everyone decided to head home. After a while it was only you and Renjun left because you lived relatively close to each other.

“Isn’t that way shorter for you?“ You said pointing to a street you just passed.

“I’m good, I’ll bring you home first.“ Renjun said smiling. You normally would have convinced him that you would be okay going home alone but you liked the thought so you just smiled and said thank you.

“Soooo…we’re here.“ You said turning to Renjun in front of your house. “Thank you for bringing me home tho.“ You said smiling.

“Oh man I thought the way was longer..“ Renjun pouted playfully looking up ur house and then turning his gaze to you looking directly in your eyes.

“Y/N…“ You looked at Renjun in confusion. “Yeah..?“

“I..also wanted to apologize for how I treated you before….before all this happened. On that day when I was at your cafe with Hyerin and the days before that…I was so mean. And I actually came back to the cafe to apologize but I only found Hyuck there…And then everything with Jisung and Chenle happened…Where were you anyway? I mean didn’t you write Hyuck on that day to meet you at the cafe?“

“I don’t know how but I blacked out and woke up in my apartment. It was really scary…“

“Probably one of Minah’s moves…I bet it was really scary I am so sorry this happened to you..“

“Its okay now so don’t worry about it.“

“But for real I am sorry how I treated you….I was..I was just so scared that everything what happened with Hyerin would repeat itself. I liked you so much and Minah always found a way to hurt the people that I like and…I wanted to come to you to apologize and like….talk you know and…“ Renjun let out a sigh trying to form sentences in his head looking up but turning his gaze immediately back to you. “I like you Y/N, a lot.“

“I like you too, Renjun, a lot..“ You giggled. A big smile forming on Renjun’s lips he pulled you into a tight hug.

And so everything went on. You started dating Renjun and everything was perfect. You had all your friends around you and you where thankful for every single one of them especially for Jiwoo and Donghyuck your two best friends.

But not only you changed. With the weeks going by Minah became an outsider nobody wanted to hang out with. Chenle said that it was Karma but you still felt a little bad for her. But only a little bit because she was still mean to everyone else, only now nobody cared.

One day Renjun had an extra art class so he had to stay in school much longer. Even tho you said you where okay with waiting for him he said that you should go home because it would take a really long time, so after discussing a little you gave up and went home already.

When Renjun was ready it was already dark outside and in the school because he was the last one to leave from the extra art class. On his way home he tried calling you but you didn’t answer. Assuming you would be sleeping he send you a cute text before heading home too.

About to head inside Renjun heard a scream. Turning around he could see a Person standing at the edge of a tall building. Before he could think about it he was up there now standing behind the Girl…behind you… “Y/N! What…what are you doing..?!?“ Tears rushing down your face you turned around to see your boyfriend standing there in shock. “Renjun…I am so sorry but…I can’t do that anymore…“ Your voice was shaking as the tears continued to flowing down your face.

“Y/N PLeasE…don’t…don’t do that…what..what happened everything was okay…I don’t understand…“

“Minah she is just so mean..and so much prettier than I am….you guys look way better together…I don’t belong in the same timeline as you Renjun…“ Renjun was so confused but then he felt a hand on his arm. Looking to his left Minah was standing there holding onto Renjun. “Go on sweetie jump! You have to die or we wont be happy!“ Minah shouted at you with a small smile receiving a nod from you. Turning around to face the abyss you stepped with one foot over the edge.

“Y/N NO!“ Renjun ran towards you but he couldn’t grab you anymore seeing you fall into your death, tears rushing down his face…..

Part ( 7 / 8 ) previous > cont

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zoemurph · 7 years ago

Text

to have a friend, chapter 9: $202

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

that noise you hear? its me. screaming. college is horrific and im super screwed please write this essay on the decameron for me

im ALMOST done with nano!! (as you can tell from the wordcount) there might not be a chapter update by the end of the month but i will hit my goal! wow magic. little bit of a shorter chapter this time cause uhhhh ive never claimed to be good at this

shoutout to my lovely friends for all their contributions to this fic. particularly thank you to cam for the amazing project name

warnings: anxiety, hints of bad eating habits

enjoy!

Evan pulls off his scarf and hangs it in his locker.

It’s finally snowed.

It snowed a few times before, October is notorious for it’s random snowstorms, but this is the first time this year it’s stuck. It started snowing Sunday morning and almost an inch gathered by mid afternoon. It was pretty light and uneventful, but Evan still made a point to send a picture of a snow dusted tree to Connor. Connor had replied ‘aesthetic’ and sent a picture of a plant Cynthia put in the living room that was mostly just dying.

Evan hangs up his coat and shoves the mittens in the sleeves. November is ending and only now does he really need to wear a coat to school. And take the bus. It’s hell.

“So this is why you have a locker,” Connor says.

“You have a locker too,” Evan reminds him.

Connor laughs. “No I fucking don’t, not if I can’t tell you which one it is.”

Evan shakes his head. “You’re just lazy.”

“Yes.”

“But if you ever need to hang up a coat you’re welcome to use mine.”

Connor tilts his head. “Ev, what makes you think I’m weak enough to wear a winter coat?”

Evan stares at him. “The fact that tomorrow it’s supposed to be like six degrees out?”

“We die like men,” Connor says simply. He pulls Evan’s spanish textbook out of the locker and hands it to him.

“You die,” Evan says pointedly. “And your hands are freezing.” Evan stuffs the textbook into his bag and zips it shut. “Do you own gloves?”

“Cool fingerless gloves because it fits the aesthetic,” Connor says, wiggling his fingers.

Evan closes the locker. “You’re the worst.”

Connor bumps their shoulders together. “Come on, Ev, admit they’re cool.”

Evan shakes his head. “They really aren’t.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Connor says as he opens the door to the stairwell.

“Do you think I lie to you?” Evan asks, stopping to look Connor in the eye.

Connor stares at him.

Evan holds his breath. He doesn’t lie to Connor. Nothing he does is a lie. The question is will Connor figure that out. And if he does, will he hate him for it.

Connor rolls his eyes. “You just haven’t seen them yet. They’re cool.”

“Whatever you say,” Evan mutters. He starts down the stairs. “Has Jared started yet?”

“Started what?”

Evan opens the door at the bottom of the stairwell and holds it for Connor. “He has your phone number right?”

Connor frowns. “Yeah? Is something horrible about to happen?”

“What’s your definition of horrible?”

“Evan.”

“What?” Evan stops walking. “Don’t you go down?” He nods to the stairs.

Connor shrugs. “Yeah, but I can go the long way with you. What is Jared going to do?”

“Thanksgiving is Thursday,” Evan says slowly.

“Thank god. I don’t know how we’re getting through Wednesday but I’m fucking dying.”

“We have a half day, Connor.” Evan steps closer to him to squeeze past a group of students crowded around a locker.

“Who cares.” Connor looks down at him. “Anyway, what shit is Kleinman up to? And what does Thanksgiving have to do with it?”

“What happens after Thanksgiving?” Evan asks.

“People try to kill each other over jeans?” Connor suggests.

Evan snorts. “I-I mean, yeah, but it’s Christmas—”

“Jared is Jewish,” Connor interrupts. “I’m also Jewish. You’re Jewish.”

Evan glances up at him. “I know. He has this playlist of Christmas songs that he blasts in his car. I don’t know why. But he also has a playlist of Jewish parodies.”

“I’m sorry what?”

Evan sighs. “There’s one that’s called Shalom and he sang it for like a week. Basically, December is Jared’s favorite time of year because he can be an asshole under the guise of being ‘festive’.”

Connor groans. “Please don’t say he’s going to send me links to all these videos.”

“He will. I’m warning you.” Evan pauses. “Uh, this is my stop.” He motions to the classroom to their right.

Connor nods. “Cool. I’ll see you later, I have to go block Jared’s number.”

Evan smiles as Connor walks away and takes a deep breath before he goes into the classroom and sits down.

His pocket is light.

It’s Monday. Connor didn’t pay him today.

Evan rests his chin in his hand and hides his smile.

Maybe Connor just forgot. But it feels nice. Like this is real.

That’s what Evan wants.

—«·»—

“I’ve been talking to Baz,” Alana says, flipping through her notebook as she walks. Evan nods. “I think she might be a good advisor for the club? Students typically feel relatively comfortable talking to her and I know she’s discussed mental health at the beginning of the year before.”

Evan tightens one of the straps of his backpack. “Okay. I, um, we need a name before we talk to her?”

Alana shakes her head. “I think we can just discuss the idea with her, even if we don’t have all the details solidified yet. If she’s against the idea, regardless of the current state of the details, we have to find a new advisor.”

“Oh.” Evan steps away from Alana to let someone pass between them. “Do you… Like… Does it ever feel…not worth it?”

Alana furrows her eyebrows but doesn’t look over to him. “What do you mean?”

“You won’t even be around for the club, n-not really?” Evan shrugs. “It’s…a lot of work for something you won’t be around to see, I guess.”

“Well…” She slows her steps. “I mean, hopefully it’ll start next semester, and if not we can always say we took the step to start a discussion of mental health in the school but…it could help other people?”

Evan’s ears burned. “I didn’t mean—”

“I know you didn’t,” Alana says. “I’ve wondered it myself. There’s no glory in getting the details perfect if you aren’t there to run it, but if we help other people, I think it’s worth it in the end.”

Evan walks up to his locker and puts in the combination. “Y-you’re right, sorry I just— sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s valid to think about.” Alana taps her nails against her notebook. “Now if only we could come up with a name…”

“A name for what?” Connor asks.

Evan looks up at him in surprise. “Isn’t your next class on the other side of the school?”

Connor shrugs. “Who gives a shit?”

“A name for our club,” Alana says, fixing her glasses. “It has a focus on mental health and starting a conversation about it in our school.”

“This club,” Connor says. He tugs on the strap of his bag. “What are you working with for names?”

Evan and Alana exchange a glance.

“Nothing,” Alana says after a moment. “I was thinking maybe we could have the word ‘project’ in the name, but I haven’t come up with anything that’s stuck. Do you have any suggestions?”

“The Fuck Project,” Connor deadpans.

Evan covers his eyes with a hand.

“We are not calling it the Fuck Project,” Alana says.

“It’ll get people’s attention,” Connor points out.

“Not in a good way,” Evan mutters. He drags his hand down his face and looks at Connor, who’s grinning at him.

“We do need to get this approved by the principal,” Alana adds. “And that name will give people the wrong idea, that is absolutely not what this club is about.”

Connor shrugs a shoulder. “Temporary name, congrats, I helped out.”

“Not really.”

The warning bell rings and Alana glances over her shoulder.

“I should go,” she says, “but I’ll text you about Baz?”

Evan nods. “Y-yeah that’s— okay yeah. I’ll see you later?”

Alana smiles and hurries down the hall.

Connor watches her leave. “Baz?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Um, yeah.” Evan grabs the books he needs and closes the locker with his foot. “We need an advisor and Lana thinks Baz might be willing to help? Have you had her?”

Connor shakes his head. “Baz teaches the CP kids, usually. I’ve been, uh, honors.”

Evan blinks. “Oh yeah, I forgot college prep was a thing. She taught regular english sophomore year.”

“You had her?” Connor asks.

“Uh…kind of?”

Connor furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Bad semester,” Evan mutters. “I, uh… There weren’t a lot of classes I…went to?”

Connor nods. “Got it.”

“Don’t you have class?” Evan asks quickly. His head is starting to spin.

“Yeah, I just.” Connor steps closer and Evan’s heart skips a few beats. “I’m sorry I forgot this earlier.” He presses a bill into Evan’s hand.

Evan closes his eyes.

Right.

Right. Right, of course. Connor just forgot. He didn’t mean anything by it. He’s sticking to the agreement.

Evan feels sick.

He crumples the bill up in his fist. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” he mumbles.

“It won’t happen again,” Connor promises.

Evan’s hand feels like it’s on fire.

—«·»—

Jared tosses his bag onto the couch and disappears into the kitchen. “Have you gotten any better about keeping food in your house?” he shouts.

Evan rolls his eyes. “Why do I need t-to buy food when you do it for me?”

Jared leans out of the doorway. “Fuck off, man, you never buy the chips I like.”

“Exactly.”

Jared glares at Evan and ducks back into the kitchen. “Hungry?”

“Not really.” Evan reaches into his pocket and grabs the ten dollar bill Connor handed to him earlier. “Meet me up in my room?”

“Sure, stealing this chocolate, B-T-dubs.”

“I can’t stop you,” Evan mutters. “Bring up your bag! Don’t leave it on the couch!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

Evan leaves Jared to pull apart the kitchen and heads up to his room. He leaves his backpack on his bed and pulls open his closet, pushing aside sweatshirts to get to a shoebox he’s buried. He pulls the ten out of his pocket and stares at it for a moment before he takes the top off the shoebox and puts it inside. Then he covers it back up with his sweatshirts and closes his closet door.

Now he can pretend it doesn’t exist.

When Jared kicks open the bedroom door with popcorn in one hand and chocolate in the other, Evan is sitting on his bed with his laptop open.

“Wow, lame,” Jared says. Evan glances up at him. “I’m kidding,” Jared says quickly. “That’s exactly what I did yesterday.” He drops down into Evan’s desk chair. “How’d you spend your weekend?”

Evan shrugs. “Same. S-some homework and uh…spent Friday with Connor.”

Jared opens his bag of popcorn. “I’ve been fucking dying to know, what have you spent all that money on? Murphy has to have given you a shit ton at this point.”

Evan stares at his laptop screen, rubbing his hands on his pants. “N-nothing yet it just…it feels weird.” He can feel Jared’s eyes on him and feels a panic build in his chest. “It feels weird! It’s just— it’s in a box in my closet.”

“Sweet.” Jared stands up.

“Jared!”

“Okay, okay, yeah, that was kind of dicky.” Jared falls back down into the chair. “I wasn’t going to take it, I was joking. Your money dude, you earned it with your weird uh…situation.” Evan makes a face. “Don’t fucking do that with your face, you know this is weird.”

“Shut up,” Evan mutters. He could go into a coma right now and that would be fine.

“We can start a list of things you could buy with it.” Jared throws a piece of popcorn into the air and tries to catch it in his mouth. It bounces off his right lense and lands on the floor. “I’ll get that later. Anyway. List.”

Evan glances to his closet.

“One, not shitty sneakers. Two, shirts that aren’t polos. Three, so much candy. Four, a video game. Five, multiple video games even, I don’t know how much money you have. Six, something nice for your mom cause you’re a real momma’s boy. Seven, a fuck ton of yugioh cards—”

“Yugioh cards?” Evan interrupts.

“Yes.” Jared throws a piece of popcorn at Evan. “Let me finish.”

Evan shakes his head. “I think I get it.” He closes his laptop and swings his legs over the side of the bed. “You don’t want the money sitting in my closet.”

“No shit.” Jared tosses Evan the chocolate bar. “You can have half. But yeah, you’ve got money, dude, it’s not gonna fucking collect interest if it’s in the back of your closet or anything. You’re spending all this time doing this bullshit job, why not actually use what you get paid?”

Evan opens the chocolate bar and breaks it in half before handing the half in the packaging back to Jared. “I-I already told you. It feels…weird. I don’t know.”

“You know,” Jared says as he takes the chocolate, “this is kind of a sugar daddy situation.”

Evan immediately goes red. “Oh my god.”

“Minus the sex stuff,” Jared says casually. “And the age difference, cause I don’t think Murphy is that much older you, is he?”

Evan is ready to melt into the ground. Or die. Or both. Both would be perferrable. “Jared, please—”

“Sugar buddy,” Jared says, snapping his fingers. “Connor is your sugar buddy.”

“This is the worst.”

Jared takes a bite of chocolate. “Do you have a better name for this?”

Friendship? Evan wants to just call it friendship. That’s totally not the case but—

“We can call it platonic prostitution if you want.”

“If you say that again I am kicking you out of my house.”

Jared holds up his hands in surrender. “Valid. That is totally valid.”

Evan starts breaking up his half the chocolate bar into smaller pieces. “I just… I don’t know. It’s weird. It’s a weird situation. But let’s not call it…that.”

“Yeah,” Jared agrees. “Fucking weirdass… Kind of regret helping out with it, honestly. It feels like a trainwreck I can’t look away from.”

“Really comforting there, Jared,” Evan mutters.

Jared spins in the desk chair. “I’m just saying, what started out as a funny ha ha losers thing has gotten decidedly less funny.”

Evan furrows his eyebrows. “What was this funny?”

“Dude, come on, at least the first week was fucking hilarious,” Jared says with a crooked smile. It seems forced, but it’s still there.

Evan grimaces. “It wasn’t.”

Jared loses the smile. “Okay. It wasn’t funny, my bad.”

Evan makes a strangled sound. “Do you talk to Connor?” Some of the chocolate is starting to melt. He pops a piece of it into his mouth.

Jared snorts. “Hell no. We coexist, are you really going to ask more of us?”

“No,” Evan admits. “But if I tell you something, you won’t tell him?”

Jared gives him a weird look. “Tell him?”

Evan stares at him with wide eyes. “You’re already judging me!”

“No I’m not!”

“Yes you are!”

Jared throws his hands in the air. “I don’t even know what I would be judging you for!”

“I want Connor to stop paying me.”

Jared stares at Evan.

Evan’s hands start to sweat and his heart races. He looks down at the chocolate in the palm of his hand and eats it before it can melt any more. He wipes his hands on his pants. Then he wipes them again.

“Yeah, no shit,” Jared says once the silence is too long and too awkward and too uncomfortable.

Evan groans and collapses on the bed. “I just—”

“Want to be friends?” Jared offers.

“Um…yes, but also—”

Jared sits up straighter. “You didn’t.”

Evan pulls on his fingers. “I…what?”

“You’re in love with him!” Jared shouts.

“No!” Evan almost falls off the bed as he scrambles to his feet. “No, I don’t—”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! It’s just— it’s just a crush oh my god, Jared.”

Jared raises his eyebrows. “You said crush.”

Evan’s face gets hot. “Uh, yeah I— it-it’s not… I mean… I don’t think… It’s not like a big…deal? Or anything?”

Jared stares at him. “Evan, it’s a big deal.”

Evan laughs awkwardly. “W-we don’t have to make it one.”

Jared squints. “Okay… I still have to kick your ass in Mario Kart. You ready?”

Evan takes a breath. “You’ve never been able to beat me, Jare. Especially since you keep choosing Rainbow Road.”

Jared jumps out of his seat. “Hell yeah I do, I’m going to mop the floor with your blood.”

Evan smiles. “Okay. If you say so.”

—«·»—

Jared loses. He swears aggressively as he reaches for his wallet to buy dinner.

“I hate you,” he hisses as he shoves a box of mozzarella sticks at Evan.

“Thanks,” Evan says. “Let me know when you want a rematch.”

Jared flips him off and grabs his sandwich off the table.

—«·»—

Heidi comes home as Jared is getting ready to leave. “Jared!” she says in surprise as she puts her bag down on the kitchen table. “I had no idea you were coming over.”

Evan and Jared look up from the television.

“Hey, Heidi, just wanted to steal your TV.” Jared tosses his Wii controller onto the couch.

“Your bag is still in my room,” Evan reminds him.

Jared shoots a fingergun at him. “Thanks.”

“Don’t leave on my account,” Heidi says, pulling her hair out of its ponytail.

“Nah, I have homework,” Jared says. “The moms want me home soon anyway.” He checks his phone and makes a face. “Yeah I should go, but thanks for letting me invade your house.”

“Anytime, Jared,” she says.

Jared grabs his bag from Evan’s room and bumps his shoulder against Evan’s as he goes to leave, wiggling his eyebrows.

Evan rolls his eyes. “Shut up,” he whispers.

Jared mimes zipping his lips. “See you tomorrow in hell.”

When Jared is gone, Evan finds his mom doing the dishes in the kitchen. “Can I help?” he asks.

She holds out a pot. “Dry and put away?”

Evan nods and takes it from her.

“It’s nice that you’re hanging out with Jared again,” Heidi muses. She washes a cup and sets it aside for Evan.

“Hm?” Evan dries off the pot and puts it in the cabinet next to the oven.

“You and Jared. You haven’t really spent a lot of time with him lately.”

“Oh.” Evan grabs the cup. “He’s been over. We…hang out and stuff.”

“That’s great.” She smiles at him. “It’s good that you have a friend.”

“Friends,” Evan corrects quickly, feeling guilt twist his stomach. He should be better at this. This friend thing. He should be making more progress than he has.

Heidi looks at him in surprise. “You’ve never mentioned anyone else before.”

“Uh, yeah.” Evan keeps his eyes on the dishes he’s drying. “Connor.” He says it and then tries not to think about it. “And um…Alana?”

“Oh!” Heidi puts down the dish soap. “Well that’s great! We should try to have dinner with them sometimes.”

Evan ducks his head. “Mom.”

“I want to meet your friends!”

“I— uh…okay, I’ll um, ask them about it.” Evan decides he should never speak again. He keeps digging his holes deeper and deeper.

Evan talks with Connor by his locker. He walks with Connor in the halls. He smiles and laughs and pretends his chest isn’t constricting.

Connor looks at him and sometimes it feels real.

The ten isn’t in Evan’s pocket anymore, but Evan can still feel it’s presence.

They sit together at lunch and Connor pokes at Evan’s jello with a straw and Evan tries to keep his heartrate under control. Connor rambles on about something that happened in AP Lit — which is apparently the only class he pays attention to in any way — and Evan mostly just nods. Connor keeps looking at him and he kind of feels like dying.

Evan feels like he’s dying and then Connor smiles at him and better and it’s worse and Evan hates every part of his existence.

Connor bumps his shoulder against Evan’s and the butterflies in Evan’s stomach fluttered.

—«·»—

Evan sits at his desk and does homework. He hates it but it gives him something to do. His phone buzzes from where it’s plugged in next to his bed. Evan glances at his Spanish textbook. He gets up and checks his messages.

From: Connor To: Evan can i call?

Evan’s throat immediately feels like it’s closing him. There’s an anchor wrapped around him and it’s dragging him down. Down down down—

He tries to type out a response but his hands are shaking.

Another message pops up on the screen.

From: Connor To: Evan fuck its not bad shit i just realized how that sounds im home alone and larry just got back and i dont want to talk to him if im on the phone hell probably leave me alone

Evan takes a deep breathe and presses his palms against his eyes. It’s fine. It really is fine.

He replies as fast as he can, but it still takes him a minute to calm down.

From: Evan To: Connor YEah fo course sorry for takin g so long to rpely

Connor’s response is almost immediate.

From: Connor To: Evan you didnt take long at all ev youre fine sorry if i scared you gonna call now

Evan stares at the screen of his phone. As soon as ‘Incoming call from Connor’ pops up, he hits answer.

“Hello?” Evan sits down on the edge of his bed and grips the blankets.

“Hey,” Connor says. He sounds kind of tired. “Sorry if I freaked you out, didn’t think before I sent that.”

“It’s fine,” Evan promises. He doesn’t want to think about it anymore. A moment of panic. They can move on. “W-what do you want to, um, to talk about?”

“Don’t really know,” Connor admits. “Nice to talk to you, you sound different over the phone.”

Evan smiles. “So do you.” Connor’s voice sounds a bit deeper. Maybe rougher. “Someone thought I was a dad once when I had to call to cancel an appointment.”

“What?” There’s laughter in Connor’s voice and it makes Evan’s head spin. “How the fuck?”

“I don’t know. I-I just— I was trying to cancel and they were like ‘the patient’ and I was confused but was too scared to ask and then they asked my relation to the patient and were like ‘are you his father?’ and I was just kind of like… Well no, I’m the patient.”

Connor snorts. “Amazing. I’m proud of you for cancelling your son’s appointment.”

Evan leans back on his hands. “N-no they— we sorted it out. I almost threw up afterward but uh…probably could’ve gone worse.”

“Phone calls aren’t your thing, huh?” Connor asks. “Sorry for making you do this. If it’s easier for you we can stop.”

Evan shakes his head and then realizes that Connor can’t see him. “No it’s fine. Really, it’s okay with you. It’s nice.” Whoops that was more than he was supposed to share.

“Okay, if you’re sure. Let me know if you want to hang up.”

“Of course,” Evan murmurs. “Uh… I asked you this like…three hours ago, but how was your day?”

“Pretty shit,” Connor admits. “Right now I’m uh….eating grapes.”

“Well that’s good. You didn’t eat lunch.”

“I never eat lunch.”

Evan hums. “Okay, that’s true.”

“What about you?” Connor asks. “Have you eaten anything today other than shitty cafeteria food?”

“Uh…no,” Evan says slowly. “I’m not super hungry.”

“Get a drink or something for me.”

Evan smiles. “Are you trying to parent me?”

“Fuck, Zoe’s rubbing off on me, isn’t she? How the fuck?” Evan imagines Connor dragging his hand through his hair.

“Her and your mom,” Evan points out. “They aren’t that similar, you know.”

There’s a slight pause. “I guess you’re right. I don’t notice that shit. Zoe’s just…Zoe. I don’t know.”

“Outsider’s perspective,” Evan suggests. “I also don’t live with them, so I might be wrong.”

“Huh.” There’s a pause. “Okay but hydration.”

“I’m going,” Evan promises. He stands up from his bed and heads down the stairs. “Are you staying hydrated?”

Connor clears his throat. “Uh…” Evan smiles as he hears Connor’s bed squeak as Connor stands up. “Yeah of course.”

“You’re going to get a drink, aren’t you?” Evan asks. He walks into the kitchen and pulls a cup from the cupboard.

“No,” Connor says quickly. “Definitely not.”

“Okay.” Evan fills the cup with water and takes a sip. “So uh…sports?”

Something on Connor’s end shuts. “I’m gay.”

Evan rolls his eyes. “Okay. Then you choose the conversation starter.”

“Okay. Did you know that eggplants are fruits?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck there goes my fun fact.”

Evan laughs. “I’m sure you can think of something else.”

“Don’t have faith in me, Ev, it’ll end badly. But give me a second.” Evan drinks his water as Connor thinks. “Okay. Want to hear lots of random shit about Ancient Egypt? Zoe and I had a phase.”

Evan sits down in a kitchen chair. “You know I do.”

“Well get comfortable, because this is going to be a while.”

#evan hansen #connor murphy #deh #convan #tree bros #my fics #to have a friend #death level: 100000

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