#honestly my lavellan does love him and is hurt but she has to be so many things to so many different people
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maharellasa Ā· 5 months ago
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I've given it a lot of thought about making a post like this, because I didn't want to just add to the already extended discourse on the subject, but I keep reading opinions and I just can't stay out of it.
Before I continue I want to make clear that I've done high approval solas playthroughs and I do believe that a befriended solas cares deeply for the inquisitor. He respects and values them, and you could even argue that they forge a kind of sibling bond or a mentor/apprentice one. So for him to betray that, it's really a tragedy in the endā€”the inquisitor hurts deeply for their lost friend/mentor.
That said, and I am truly, honestly, not saying this as a solasmancer, but from a storytelling point of view, the story of a romanced solas is still far more impactful.
Please let me make my case before you draw conclusions.
I am not saying it's more valid, or that you should do it, or that it should be the canon. Just, simply, that it is a more powerful story narratively, and that acting like the high approval run somehow has an equal narrative value is completely unbased. It's a meaningful story, yes, but it does not have the same impact. (To be clear, I'm not speaking in comparison to other romances here since that's based on taste and preferences, just the case of befriended vs romanced solas specifically.)
From a creative writing point of view, the romance employs:
backstory relevance: fen'harel is an important part of lavellan's culture and upbringing. and yes, arguably, that's true for any lavellan, but in the case of a romanced one, there's the beautiful narrative device ofā€”
tragic irony: she grew up specifically being cautioned about the dread wolf's treachery, hearing blessings like "may the dreadwolf never catch your scent" etc. and what does she do? she goes and falls in love with him.The dread wolf literally takes her. A befriended lavellan might love him, but will give him nothing so vital as her heart for it to be considered "a taking". And as for other inquisitors, well, they don't even know who Fen'harel is.
unique perspective: (edit because of comments on this post) solas reveals much more of himself to a romanced inquisitor than a high approval one. "it's not right", "it's been so long since I trusted someone", "it will be kinder in the long run", "you saw more than most", and to top that, the ultimate reveal of solas telling her he can remove her vallaslin, which is his way of showing her who he truly is.
denied catharsis: one of the most essential rules of storytelling is that after you've reached the climax of the hero's journey and you've dragged them through all their struggles, you should provide a form of catharsis. that doesn't happen in the case of the romanced lavellan. she ends up alone. I'm not even saying heartbroken, because losing a friend can cause equal pain, but a solas romanced lavellan ends. up. alone. After all that she went through, after having her personhood erased and being forced into a religion that is not hers, after losing her arm and potentially her clan, she ends the journey of the inquisition standing completely alone overlooking an empire that will never thank her. and added to that, we haveā€”
continued torment: her lover still visits her in dreams and she can't even tell if he's real or her imagination.
Yes, high approval playthroughs are enjoyable and meaningful and as much a valid canon as any. And yes, it's really unfortunate that they limited such a beautiful romance to a specific race and gender in the game. But please, please, stop trying to argue that the friendship narrative is as powerful a storytelling as the romance. And stop treating solavellans like silly fangirls who can't see past their faves. I admit that there are those who are trying to force the romance as the only valid option, but I'm not talking about those, every fandom has its radicals.
This is not an argument of whether romantic is better than platonic or vice versa. And it's not an argument of whether solas cares more for a romanced inquisitor versus a befriended one. He cares deeply in both cases. It's about the fact that, narratively speaking, the romance delivers a far greater impact to the character and the story than the high approval run.
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lasandra Ā· 2 months ago
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Super Massive End Game Veilguard Spoilers Under the Cut!
Seriously. If you haven't finished playing Veilguard, DO. NOT. READ. So I finished DA:tV and I have been really trying to sort out my thoughts... And well...
Sdlkajshdfklajhsdfklajhsdflkjahsdklfjhaskldfjhaskldfhj I CAN'T!!! My dudes I am SO conflicted!!! Solas is the only character I have ever come across that I both love to pieces and want the best for him but I also want to beat him until he is a puddle of bruised yolk and cracked shells. This dude KILLED VARRIC FOR REALSIES! I am not okay with that. My Hawke's GOING to hunt him down when she finds out. If the Tevinter Magisters can get into the Black City then dammit so can she. And when she does, I am not sure even Lavellan can save him. Amelia (My Hawke) has lost so many of her friends/family/loved ones she can't handle this anymore. He also killed God's gift to elves Felassan. It's been over a decade since I read The Masked Empire but I don't remember there being a great reason other than him being upset that Felassan failed. Dude has GOT to stop killing his friends lol. Especially the hot ones. Like. Come on. As if that wasn't enough, he manipulated Rook. I love my first Rook (Carwyn de Riva) so much that I am STRUGGLING to play another playthrough with any of the other Rooks I had planned. To see that he manipulated her with blood magic... Stopped her from being able to mourn Varric with the others properly.... AND tricked her into that prison??? He didn't think she'd be able to get out. Luckily she had plot armor because if she hadn't gotten out I would find a way into Thedas to rip him apart myself. *Aggressive breathing noises* I feel very normal about this, obviously. Seriously though, guys, I came THIIIIIIIS close to tricking him with the fake dagger even knowing that Lanaya (my Lavellan) wouldn't have gotten her happy ending. JUST so I could see the LOOK on his face when he realized ROOK outplayed him at his own game! At the SAME time however... The idea of sending him into the Black City alone... hurts me lol! I don't want him to suffer. Dude has suffered a lot and honestly, I'm not entirely sure his being a friend-murdering ass is *entirely his fault... The longer I sit with everything, the more certain I am that Solas didn't really have a choice. Seems very much like he was sort of bound to the will of Mythal. Maybe I've missed something, I'm not as lore-savvy as I once was. But in the end when Mythal tells Solas that she releases him from her service and only THEN (NOT when Lavellan BEGS him to stop) is he willing to do the right thing? I don't know. It just reminded me SO much of his personal quest in Inquisition where his Wisdom Spirit friend had been bound and twisted against its purpose. If it works anything like what we saw in Inquisition with whoever drank from the Well of Sorrows, who's to say when something was him vs the will of Mythal? It could be a bit of a stretch but, there's certainly room for that interpretation, I think. And if that's the case, then he doesn't deserve the hell that awaits him. It's also the only interpretation I can really accept Lanaya still wanting to be with him. Varric was her friend too. While forgiveness is something I give freely, I cannot imagine reconciling with a man who did what Solas did without him having been essentially forced into doing it. *Sighs deeply* I saw the different versions of his endgame images... Shit man. The only way this man gets a happy ending is with Lavellan. Dude looks so miserable and gloomy in all the other endings. Moire (Trevelyan) was Solas' friend. She wouldn't want to send him off to be alone in such a terrible place. That would seriously eat at her. (Rook wouldn't care. Her give a damn was busted after he betrayed her for the twenty-billionth time.) It can never be anything but a complete and utter rollercoaster with this man! I do think that the ending I got with him was as good as it possibly could have been though, given everything. Sorry for this really poorly written rant. I needed to get this out of my system and it's almost 3am lol.
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vivinightingale Ā· 3 years ago
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May I please request headcanons of all DA:I companions and advisors realising they are falling in love with a female lavellan rogue inquisitor but donā€™t want to confess yet. Thank you and have a great day :)
I usually put gifs for each character, but because there are so many I can't :(
Also Dorian's will be male rogue Lavellan for obvious reasons šŸ’•
Also this is my first DA request and I'm hella excited ngl thank you šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•
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š’žš’¶š“ˆš“ˆš’¶š“ƒš’¹š“‡š’¶
It takes awhile for her to realize she is in love with you. She mistakes love for her adoration of you.
Once she realizes she is love with you she both keeps her distance and watch you constantly. At first you think she was starting to hate you.
However when you made eye contact with her, and she quickly turns away trying to hide her blush you knew that wasn't it.
But you don't want to say anything so you patiently wait for her. Though you can't help but call her cute once in awhile.
š’±š’¶š“‡š“‡š’¾š’ø
Unlike Cassandra he caught on pretty quick. He noticed how he enjoyed you company more then most, preferred hearing your stories form the Alienate, and the countless letter about you to Hawke.
It was honestly all new to him since he thought he would never love someone like he loved bianca.
So he kept it to himself till either it faded or he knew for sure you were the one he truly wanted
Spoilers you were
š’®š‘œš“š’¶š“ˆ
He realized he loved you when you got to Skyhold. Despite not knowing about magic you were fascinated with the fade, and he would happily indulge you.
So the two of you found yourselves spending countless nights talking about the fade and all its mysteries. He fell for your thirst for knowledge.
However he knew he couldn't. It would make everything harder so he gradually started keeping his distance...even if it hurt him to do so.
š’®š‘’š“‡š’¶
She doesn't know when it started, but she found herself already head over heels for you. Maybe it's because your weren't so elfy like solas, or how you looked out for the little people more then those up top, or maybe it was the way you treated her like she the best thing in the world??
She doesn't know but what she does know is she doesn't want to lose what she has with you. So until you make the first move she will keep pretending like everything is okay.
Despite the longing gaze she sends your way.
š’±š’¾š“‹š’¾š‘’š“ƒš“ƒš‘’
She already know the familiar feeling of love when she watches you dance across the battle field daggers in each hand.
However, she still love her dear sick husband so she simply brushed it aside and interacted with you as usual.
Maybe one day she will tell you, until then she is content with being your friend and watching you from afar.
šµš“š’¶š’øš“€š“Œš’¶š“š“
When he fell for you he fell hard. From you elegant moves on the battle field, to the way you tussled your hair every now and then.
However he was a man of sin, and didn't wish for you to know or to have the burden. So he simply kept quiet.
The others knew they could see the way he looked at you, but he simply couldn't bring himself to say anything. Maybe....one day.
š¼š“‡š‘œš“ƒ šµš“Šš“š“
He puts no effort into hiding that he wants you. He just doesn't act on it, that's the difference.
He will throw suggestive jokes at you, sly grins, and when he know no one is looking the occasional butt slap. However nothing more that he knows his bounds.
He promised himself when everything was said and done he will talk to you about joining him and his chargers, and maybe be more then friends.
š’Ÿš‘œš“‡š’¾š’¶š“ƒ
He was in love with you when you met with him after his confrontation with his father. The look of pure worry, and reassurance in your eyes made his heart skip a beat.
But he knew he couldn't. He had to go back to tevinter to fix it, but maker when your eyes meet his resolves falters.
He will try to hold out for as long as he can, but he can't help his longing eyes that tend to follow you.
š’žš‘œš“š‘’
This poor boy can't making heads or tails of his feelings. Yes he liked to be around you a lot, you had a calming aura. Yes he liked learning new was to attack with dagger, you look beautiful dancing around enemies.
But was that really love? He doesn't know, but he knows he won't say anything till he figures it out. Doesn't mean he won't stick to you like glue.
Maybe he will talk Varric about these feelings. That way he doesn't stutter as much around you when he is trying to tell you something.
š’žš“Šš“š“š‘’š“ƒ
He fell in love with you when try to save the soldiers during Adament. That was the first time you put the soldiers first, but it really hit home when he saw it happen.
He is very very reluctant, especially considering the whole thing the Grey Warden years ago. He tries to act normal around you, but it's hard when you look like something out of his dreams.
He tries to hold out for as long as possible, but maker do you make it difficult.
š’„š‘œš“ˆš‘’š“…š’½š’¾š“ƒš‘’
She knew she was in love with you when you helped her restore her family. It really had nothing to do with you, but you went out of your way to help her. Maybe you can help her restore it too...
No that's thinking too far ahead. Besides you have showed no sign being intrested in her. So she will simply adore you from afar and hope you will one day say something.
She lowkey doodles little pictures of you when she can't focus on work.
šæš‘’š“š’¾š’¶š“ƒš’¶
She knew she was in love with when you guided her through the aftermath of the conclave. You showed her a way of living she hasn't know in a long time, and for moment she thought she smelled the familiar fragrance of Andraste's grace.
She never says anything because she doesn't know if she ready for it. Was she worthy of your love? Would you love her despite her past? Do you even love her?
For now she will protect you from the shadows. Watching you dance around the battlegrounds like protecting companions. Maybe soon she will tell you how she feels....
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lillotte17 Ā· 2 years ago
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I posted 721 times in 2022
That's 147 more posts than 2021!
92 posts created (13%)
629 posts reblogged (87%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@lillotte17
@miss-grey
@keturagh
@hawkeshep
@cl0udb3rry
I tagged 661 of my posts in 2022
Only 8% of my posts had no tags
#pretties! - 231 posts
#solas - 69 posts
#solavellan - 57 posts
#lavellan - 47 posts
#rambles - 45 posts
#dragon age - 23 posts
#artwork - 17 posts
#smooches - 17 posts
#dragon age inquistion - 15 posts
#aili lavellan - 15 posts
Longest Tag: 122 characters
#ace so i wouldn't bang any of them but all my lavellan boys are hot and fun and i might have a tiny crush on juniper arley
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Time for another round of: Lotte Thinks Too Hard About Elvhen!
So, I've been standing around in the Exalted Plains for days trying to get all the dialogue I want to trigger to happen (while working on commission stuff. It's weirdly soothing. Like those background nature sound tapes, except every now and then there's NPCs chatting or a wolf attacking you.)
Anyway, we get to that talk between Solas and Sera where she makes the comment about "who wants to think about stepping on dead elves?"
Solas mutters in reply, sounding extremely angry/upset: Din elvhen emma him?
And I swear I thought I had read a translation for that on the wiki somewhere? But it said the meaning was unknown. So, I was trying to work it out myself.
Din- death or end or ending
Elvhen- elves (duh)
Emma- doesn't have a solid translation anywhere, but seems to be possessive. 'Your' or 'our' depending on context. Possibly even 'my', since I'm pretty sure 'Emma lath' was 'my love'?
Him- make/making
He sounded so upset, I thought he was saying some kind of insult/threat aimed at Sera. I'm pretty sure the translation I read before was like, "I'll make you a dead elf." (which in retrospect is not his MO at all. Even when he's furious with other companions, he never threatens to hurt them physically.)
I'm pretty sure the loose translation is actually more like:
"Dead elves of my own making?"
As in "How could I not think about them every place we go, when it's my fault that all of them died?"
And just...oh buddy. šŸ„ŗ
95 notes - Posted March 12, 2022
#4
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100 notes - Posted February 1, 2022
#3
*sits down across the table from you and leans across real far *
You know, I love DAI. It is possibly my fave comfort game. Top tear. Very replayable. Lose myself for hours in the Hinterlands fighting bears and have a grand old time.
But the inconsistency with Lavellan and their understanding of Elvhen drives me bonkers.
Like, I get that Ancient Elvhen and Modern Elvhen have to be different. It's impossible for them not to be. Even the Elvhen spoken in the Dales would be different from Ancient Elvhen, because hundreds of years + slavery. Lavellan admits during Trespasser that Dalish cannot read Ancient Elvhen.
It makes sense that Solas can understand Modern Elvhen, because he apparently took the time to learn Qunlat at some point, so one would assume that a language derived from your native tongue would be easier. But it does not make sense that Lavellan swings back and forth between understanding Elvhen perfectly and not having a single clue what he's saying at all.
Lavellan understands the entire conversation he has with Wisdom before it dies. And one would assume it was not speaking Modern Elvhen for the sake of the other people there besides Solas, because it could have just as easily chosen to speak Common.
But later, Lavellan does not seem to understand what he and the Nightmare are saying to each other at all. Likewise, they don't seem to notice the discrepancies between what Solas tells Abelas and what Solas says he told Abelas. And they don't understand the random bits of Elvhen he throws at Sera either.
Like, I dunno about you, but if we were just walking along and my buddy just randomly said that he was responsible for all of the dead elves in Thedas...I think I'd pull over for a bit of a chat, yeah??
The Dalish honestly get so little credit for what they have managed to preserve from almost nothing, tbh. It makes sense that Lavellan wouldn't understand everything Solas says in Ancient Elvhen, but they should almost definitely understand more than a single conversation. At the very least, they should be able to know when he's switching to Ancient Elvhen instead of the modern form the Dalish use. And that by itself should be suspicious af.
(and they should absolutely know more than fucking Morrigan, but that's a whole other kettle of fish)
126 notes - Posted March 20, 2022
#2
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261 notes - Posted June 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I am definitely half asleep, which should tell you about the quality level of this post straight out the gate, but i was going through my old saves and watching the romance scenes for my different PTs (as one does) and like...
Everyone else has this slow build up to the Love end of things. Some of them don't even get there until Trespasser (looking @ you Dorian- yes yes he feels it but he doesn't say it.) And that's not a complaint! That's normal! You start with affection and attraction and see where it goes, and lbr all of the DA companions have some...Things to work through before nailing down Big Feelings.
And then we have Solas.
One kiss. One (1) singular kiss, and that man is gone. Lost. Sunk. Out to sea. Lost in the Sauce. Flung into the depths.
And I would argue that he's actually gone before that, but that's when he knows it. And he freaks out because 'oh no oh no this is literally the absolute WORST timing for this to happen holy SHIT.'
And he tries to fight it off, or figure out if there is some like...magical mark-induced reason for why he's absolutely banana-grahams for this mortal woman he has only known the tiniest fraction of his impossibly long life, but there isn't one except that he's lonely as fuck and her genuine awesomeness is just apparently the kryptonite to his rational thinking power.
This man, who is so so careful with the way he says everything always just... Once he caves, it is his first admission. In his native tongue, no less, as though he cannot help himself.
I cannot lose you. I love you. You are my heart. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Back in ye olden fandom days, there was a whole bunch of fights about the sincerity of Solas' affections, since he 'lies' and dumps you, but like...things are a mess because this whole-ass man is a mess and he doesn't do anything that is NOT a mess, but just...fucking hell. He has loved her for so long. He doesn't strike me as love-at-first-sight kinda guy, but like I'm giving him like...a month at Haven tops before he's a goner.
Solas is the one who falls first and hardest out of all of them.
552 notes - Posted July 24, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review ā†’
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autumnhares Ā· 4 years ago
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So after years of saying Iā€™ll play it someday I finally purchased and played through Dragon Age Inquisition. Why did I put it off for so long? Thatā€™s a really good question, why do we ever put things off?
I managed to stay, for the most part, spoiler free for the game in that time. I knew Cullen was a favourite romance partner and at first thought that was the way I was going to go in my first play through. Then I started talking with Solas.
I realised very quickly that he is my favourite type of character, and honestly it wasnā€™t hard for me to get his approval before I started actively trying to get it.
Iā€™d messed up somewhere along the way (I forgot to pick up Sera and Vivian) so I went back to a much earlier save to grab them. In this go around it was all about the Solas romance. Because of that focus I had a hard time with Sera even though I think sheā€™s a hoot, and honestly Vivian is a know-it-all bitch, though I do love her introduction. 
There were sadly too few private moments between Lavellan and Solas after they made out on the balcony. That was disappointing because I knew, KNEW, he was going to break my heart soon. I actually put off moving the story forward because I thought heā€™d leave the Inquisition once he left Lavellan. Oh no, no, not to worry. Heā€™s going to stick around and hurt my heart every time we interact.
Iā€™d planned to go to Cullen after that, let him heal my heart with his vulnerable love, but I couldnā€™t bring myself to do it. My Lavellan loved Solas completely. She understood him, that he wasnā€™t hurting her because he wanted to, but because he felt he had to. That some great secret he couldnā€™t share made it unfair for him to continue like this.
I mentioned this is my favourite character type. A trickster, old, knowledgeable, secretive, the friend and enemy of all. He was a ā€œgodā€, Iā€™d guessed as much along the way. Once Fenā€™harel was mentioned in game with lore dumps, I was like ā€œYeah, thatā€™s probably him.ā€
I didnā€™t know how much heā€™d kept from my Lavellen, of course, but I wasnā€™t surprised when it turned out he knew Flemeth, though I was surprised he took her power after berating Lavellen for taking the power of the well. (I still wonder if that means Solas has control of Lavellan now if he wanted)
By now I had of course seen images of Solas dressed if armor Iā€™d never given to him. Iā€™d managed not to watch any of the videoā€™s YouTube was recommending. Iā€™d been putting off the ending, but I was desperate to know how this love story ended, would I get to choose to run away with Solas? I did the ending, it was fantastic, but Solas was devastated by the destruction of the orb, and then he left without a word of goodbye. 
I stood alone on my balcony, watching the sunrise, wondering if he was watching it where he was too.
Then I began Trespasser.
Lavellan was tired, the demands over the last few years keeping her busy, while the nobility slowly forgot what sheā€™d done for them. I imagine nightmares were a constant companion. When Cassandra asked her if she was getting married, she was confused, but admitted sheā€™d thought about it, even though there was no one new since Solas.
Letā€™s fast forward to the very end and the final meeting. I chose to try to save him, but if theyā€™d given the option, my Lavellan would have gone with him. I still think that should have been an option, but probably wouldnā€™t work for the game. And in the end, the way it ends is a little more bitter sweet. He loves Lavellan so much that he canā€™t bear for her hands to be stained like he believes his have to be.
And hereā€™s the thing, I donā€™t think heā€™s wrong. I think the Veil does have to come down. I just think there might be a better way.
I donā€™t know, I got a lot of theories now. 
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ohsweetflips Ā· 4 years ago
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5, 6, 17, and 25 !!
5) Is your inquisitor jealous that both the warden and Hawke have a mabari hound? 
actually my inquisitor is a cat person!! he doesnā€™t Mind dogs and does find them very cute/fun but, the bigger the dog, the more nervous he is, so mabari at first make him a bit......... on edge omg
6) What would they think of each otherā€™s combat skills/techniques?
my warden (electra surana), hawke (dani hawke), and inquisitor (camris lavellan) all think that each other is great omg
i have Deeper Lore about my surana and lavellan (in my canon, theyā€™re first cousins but donā€™t know about each other till inquisition-era) and i like to think that my warden and hawke have met before, but my hawke specifically really vibes with my inquisitor and i always liked the thought of her taking him under her wing, especially bc he reminds her of herself before uhhhh bad shit started happening, so sheā€™s very much like ā€œokay i am making it my personal responsibility to not let him end up like meā€
but when the three of them are all together (bc i do headcanon that my warden comes back from finding the cure for the calling), it is a trifecta of respect and them just messing around A Lot with their magic
17) If Origins and Inquisition had the 3 personalities (Diplomatic, Sarcastic, Aggressive) which would your warden and inquisitor have predominately been? And what one did your Hawke have?
i am a creature of habit so all my heroes end up in the sarcastic wheelhouse akjdskjsdjk, hawke is sarcastic with some aggressive leanings by act 3, camris is sarcastic with diplomatic tendencies, and i see my warden as diplomatic with biiiig sarcastic leanings!!    25) What is/was their relationship with their family like?
my suranaā€™s family canon is........... Complicated especially bc in my canon, my lavellans and my suranas are first cousins (both their dads are/were dalish twin brothers but my suranasā€™ father was exiled for a situation that fell somewhere between merrill and andersā€™ situations) and, by origins, the only surviving suranas are my warden, electra, and her younger sister, kira, and because, up until post-inquisition, they were each otherā€™s only family, they would basically do anything for each other and would go to the ends of the earth to keep each other safe, even if sometimes their personalities clash (electra is much more keen to finding the positive in a situation, while kira is much more jaded over what they have been through)
by the end of da2, the only family my hawke has left is carver, so i like to think that, after the final battle, the two of them really worked on actually bettering their relationship bc theyā€™re all each other has left. my hawke misses her sister terribly and honestly still blames herself for bethanyā€™s death. i have......................... complicated feelings on leandra and, to avoid getting too deep and also morbid, i see hawkeā€™s feelings on her mother very much ā€œi loved my mother and i miss her and i blame myself for what happened but i also have this lingering hurt and anger because of everything she put on me and, sometimes, what hurts the most is that i will never be able to resolve this painā€
I LOVE MY LAVELLANā€™S FAMILY my primary inquisitor is camris, and my secondary inquisitor is adaranni, his older sister, whoā€™s like one of his best friends!! tbh once again iā€™m kinda glossing over the full extent of canon bc then i could get into the lore i have for my inquisitorā€™s parents, especially with the whole exiled-brother-situation, but basically love and acceptance and support is stored in my lavellanā€™s family <3
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ghostwise Ā· 4 years ago
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šŸŒ¼, šŸŒ², and šŸfor renata? šŸ‘€
šŸŒ¼ Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?
Ren is so easygoing, she really won't bother with a friendship or a relationship that feels like it doesn't fit. If there's no spark, there's no spark, and that's fine! But I honestly feel that DA2 is the exact definition of found family. That mansion winds up feeling nice and cozy with everyone being around at all hours of the day. Full answers are under the cut, since it got really long :)
Merrill: She met Merrill just a few weeks after arriving in Kirkwall, and because they were both still reeling from the Blight, and from having to flee the only home they'd ever known, she found a lot of comfort in sharing the experience with someone. They learned their way around town together! Getting lost isn't as much of a crisis when you're with a friend after all. Merrill also used what she knew about healing magic to help Bethany recover from her traumatic injury after her encounter with the ogre darkspawn. They grow much closer after Ren returns from the Deep Roads. (Absence makes the heart grow fonder, makes Merrill realize that Kirkwall isnā€™t Kirkwall without Hawke~)
Varric: They met during her first few months in Kirkwall and immediately clicked. The joking around, the unconditional love and support, it just came naturally to them. They're platonic soulmates that bring out the shenanigans in each other, to the point that most people that meet them think they're an item. Eventually Varric discreetly pays off the debt Hawke's family owed the smugglers that helped them enter Kirkwall with falsified documents. She always suspects, but she never brings it up...
Anders: Ren met Anders a couple of years later, when he first set up his clinic. Because Bethany was still experiencing symptoms from her injury, Anders was able to perform more effective healing magic. Thanks to this, Bethany was left with nothing but light sensitivity as a symptom, and began working in the clinic, gaining confidence in her abilities as a mage. It's mage solidarity babes. Heā€™s super protective of the whole bunch, and Ren jokingly calls him the ā€˜family physician.ā€™
(Anders was actually Renata's canon LI for the longest time, and I do still love his romance! But I can only take so much of the 'im bad for you, ill hurt you, we shouldntā€™ shit. Realistically, Ren would back off at the first rebuff. Since Blackwall is my Lavellan's LI and has a similar dynamic, I was like, ok, one of these sad lying white bois has got 2 go...)
Isabela: Ren met Isabela a few months before leaving for the Deep Roads, which made for odd timing. Though they got on well, there were a few weeks where everyone thought they weren't coming back; so for Isabela that led to some uncomfortable grief. They hadn't grown particularly close. When Renata and Varric finally returned, it was like someone coming back from the dead. Over time they built a friendship that is easygoing and gentle. Like a calm sea.
Fenris: I think their friendship was the slowest to develop, simply because Fenris is so wary of forming close relationships. He doesn't want to hurt people, and he doesn't want to be hurt by magic. Ren isn't one to push boundaries. Surprisingly, this means it's actually Bethany who connects with him first.
Ren was very much like... "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I'm here if you need to talk, and I care about you". Bethany was the one popping in like "I brought you cookies! Yes I know I wasn't invited. You should come over, Isabela's reading pornography in an Orlesian accent."
By the by? Fenris LOVES Leandra. He spends more time sipping tea with her and chatting than running around fighting giant spiders with Varric and Ren. Understandable, I suppose.
Sheā€™s also close with Feynriel, Bodahn, Sandal, and Keeva (OC).
TLDR: fambily
I love them to pieces, so from a writing standpoint, I feel like I'm barely scratching the surface in terms of exploring their relationship dynamics.
šŸŒ² How deeply does your OC feel? Are they typically empathetic or do they have a hard time connecting with others in this way? What are they like when offering support and comfort to someone they care for?
Answered this one here! :)
šŸ Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own ā€œcomfort cornerā€ filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?
They spend a year crammed into Gamlen's one-bedroom Lowtown apartment, and Hawke doesn't even want to go home at the end of the day. Eventually the family earns enough that they can move out to a two-bedroom apartment, and though she still has to share a room with her mother, at least there's some space to breathe. When they move to Hightown her balcony becomes her favorite place in the world: sunlight, plants, books, and enough space to bring a few friends in there for a drink!
Varricā€™s suite at the Hanged Man is a close second. The first night back from the Deep Roads, thatā€™s where the whole family piled in to sleep; no one slept alone. It was the moment she realized she had some truly special people in her life.
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magneticmage Ā· 3 years ago
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Unwritten Fic Excerpts
Tooootally not procrastinating on properly writing.
Under cut for length
Ransley Trevelyan stared at the map of Skyhold in front of him. This fortress was....huge. and well-built to have lasted through so many Ages and hands. He had the faintest feeling that the Inquisition would only be one of the many rulers to stay here for a time, not the last.
Still, there was still much work to be done.
"The gardens would be lovely for a Chantry chapel," He remarked, fingers skimming that section of the map.
"Don't we have enough Chantry idolatry everywhere?" Paeriel Lavellan remarked. Her temper was rather sour towards him on the best of days it seemed, and the various discussions of how to rebuild the fortress were quickly proving to be drawing towards yet another face-off between them.
Lucky for them, Armashok Adaar and Naranka Cadash held more level heads.
Naranka set her tankard of dwarven ale down, "Look, we need to get something done today. It's been four hours of the two of you bickering back and forth. I'm tired of it."
Armashok sighed and scratched the chipped base of his right horn. The scars along his neck and face made his already towering physique even more intimidating. His voice was calm and collected, "Paeriel has a point though. Not all follow the Chantry's teachings nor that if their Maker and his Bride, Andraste. The Dalish have their Creators, the Avvar their gods, the Dwarves their Stone, and my people have the Qun."
"The Qun that brainwashed people." Ransley scowled, "That attacked Kirkwall and Ostwick not too long ago."
"How long ago was the last time the elves were killed by humans?" Paeriel's green eyes flashed towards the human noble faster than her arrows, "Oh, wait, it hasn't even been a year."
Naranka sighed and let her chin slump into her hand, "Can we get past the whole 'your people killed my people in whatever conflict in whatever year slash event', please? The Inquisition is supposed to be a show of unity against Cory-piss-pants and if we can't all pretend to agree agree get along, how are we going to expect our people to? Haven taught us to expect disaster. Skyhold is a chance to show that preparation and strength. Let's not squander it."
The human and elf fell silent and looked away from each other, appropriately chagrined. Damn Carta thug had a point. Ex-Carta, Ransley tried to remind himself. She was right. Theda was falling apart because of old grudges and they would need to put their own aside in order to do what was needed for the good of everyone.
He scrubbed at his face, trying to scrape off the frown that has etched itself into his brow the past few days, "Okay. What do you suggest?"
"We expand the eastern gardens and their greenhouses a bit to allow a greater number of plants. In addition to the amount we all keep in our rooms and have hanging around the halls, it should be enough for whatever we need. It might cut into our supplies for the kitchen but I'm fairly sure we can make the revenue up in some other way," Naranka remarked. Her dark eyes turned to Paeriel, "That satisfies your garden request, yes?"
"I suppose." She remarked, "It's smaller than the western area, but it is closer to my rooms so that should be enough."
"As for Ransley wanting a Chantry chapel, I can't say I'm enthused about it either." Naranka paused and took a long draught of her drink and wiped her mouth on her sleeve, "But it does pacify quite a few complaints we've already had, I suppose."
"And raises others." Ransley rolled his eyes to the stack of letters to the left. All demands for equal representation. It wasn't that he didn't approve of all the changes. It was just...so very different from what he was used to that it made him uncomfortable. Perhaps...that was why the others acted the way they did? They all missed home as much as he did and wanted to bring a piece of it with them. He would need to think harder on this. Perhaps Naranka's initial assessment that he was used to the world making way for him had some merit.
"We could make it a multi-faith chapel of sorts. A place for religious debate and ethics and philosophy. We could put a lyrium-infused statue of a Paragon or two in the garden main path, alongside the statue of Andraste that I saw someone bringing in the other day. We could have some trees and wayshrines and such for the Qunari and Dalish. It might take some work getting everything to fit and flow together but I'm sure Josephine could find a group of people to handle it. She's not failed us yet. " Armashok pressed his thumb into the soft center of his palm and rubbed small circles. The Anchor on their hands flared irritably under the abrupt pressure before it settled. "Will that do?"
"Yes." Ransley combed his fingers through his hair, "So, what say we take a lunch break and then move on to the next section? The outer walls, right?"
"No. No more breaks." Naranka slammed her hands down on the war table. Armashok's drink fell of the table and shattered, scattering glass across the floor. Luckily Ransley managed to save both the Dwarf and his own drinks from ruining the maps and papers with their contents. A quick glance across saw Paeriel setting down her tea on a nearby seat.
"Bit much, don't you think?"He quipped.
That earned him a frustrated glare, "I'm sorry, Lord Trevelyan, but don't you think running off to smooch Cassandra every four hours is a 'bit much'?"
He felt heat fold across his cheeks and stammered out a protest that sounded weak even to his own ears. Armashok rubbed his temple, "We can break after we get this last section done for today. Now the outer walls or the aqueducts? What do we repair first?"
"The aqueducts will provide fresh water for us through its use of fire runes and the ice run off from melting the snow banks. I'm not sure if the indoor plumbing has held up all these years, though," Naranka said, pulling out the relevant files.
"It has in most places. We'll still need to bring in either a dwarven or Tevinter architect to double check the quality though," Ransley said. He gestured at one of the areas marked in red, "It'll be more costly to repair and it will delay us fixing the outer walls on time if we are attacked during then, though."
Paeriel grimaced, her own hand reaching for the Anchor as another minor pulse raced through them, "Honestly, I would much rather have clean drinking water with working plumbing than working outer walls at the moment."
"Even after what happened at Haven?" Naranka's brow rose, "You have to be kidding me, Pae! You don't let the spawn in through a crackand the wonder why you have an ogre breathing down your neck!"
Armashok scratched at his horns again, "Safety is more important right now. We can fix the water issue once we get more established. For now, we need to make sure our people feel safe after Haven's destruction."
Paeriel sighed and leaned forward on her hands, "If I can call in a few favors and have someone work on it so long as they get food and shelter, it should be fine, right?"
Ransley arched a brow, "What kind of contacts do you have, Lavellan?"
"Not exactly my favorite people," She looked away as if ashamed. One more mystery to this woman. No wonder her and Solas got along so well. The two of them seemed wrapped up in their own world of ancient secrets and old ties. How someone so young managed to have so many secrets was beyond him.
"These people...any rules for hiring them? What's the catch?" Naranka folded her arms.
Paeriel tossed her head back and laughed, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Try me."
She sighed and spread her hands to either side, "I ran with a group of vengeance hunters called the Knives of Plenty for a time."
"Isn't that the group of former city elves that used the sewers and alleys and other dark places to attack and kill human nobles for abusing their servants?" Armashok asked, "Their services could be bought, but only if you could prove that they were hurting their people. Really worth the coin for some info they could get, though. If memory serves me right."
Paeriel nodded, "Yes. They were primarily city elves, but there were disillusioned Dalish and elven mages seeking Refuge. They even took in elf-blooded humans who shared their cause, as they as as much elven as they are human."
Ransley held up his hands, "Wait a second here! You want us to enlist terrorists to fix our plumbing? And you were one of them? They killed people like us!"
The three of nonhumans exchanged a look between themselves, as if silently daring each other. Naranka cleared her throat, "I should point out, they only targeted human people like you. But you haven't harmed any elves, have you, Ransley?"
"Of course not!" He frowned at them, "This still doesn't explain how they are going to fix the pipes, though."
Paeriel rolled her eyes, "Many of them used to have regular jobs before they were pushed too far. More than half of them worked in tight quarters and bad conditions. This will be a lot safer than their old jobs, they get food and shelter, and a place to feel accepted. We get our pipes and our walls fixed. It's a win-win."
"Plus, we get some good PR for 'reforming crimminals'," Armashok chuckled with his hands making gestures of sarcasm, "How does this go bad?"
"Let's just say I had a rough break with their leader when I left and they will need a lot of convincing to join up." Paeriel leaned forward into her knuckles and looked at the table.
Naranka scratched her head, but nodded her agreement, "Who here doesn't have a dark history of some kind?"
Ransley sighed and looked over at the Dalish. Perhaps, it was time to put grudges aside and try and open up the sheltered walls he had lived in. These three could help him move past the echo chamber he had grown up in. He cleared his throat and set the cups in his hands down, "Tell us about it."
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high5nerd Ā· 5 years ago
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Why Sera shouldnā€™t be a hated character
Omg omg omg Iā€™m so excited, this is my first rant on tumblr! *deep breath*
Okay. Dragon Age. At any point in your game, your Inquisitor is faced with the raspberry blowing, arrow toting Sera that has the mindset of a 12 year old child.
Honestly? I donā€™t know why people donā€™t recruit her, but I can understand the struggle to like her. My feelings on her fluctuate throughout the game. I play as Lavellan and I get really angry the more she beats the dead horse by her constant barrage of racist remarks towards the Dalish to either me, Solas, or any other elven NPC in the vicinity.
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Sheā€™s toxic as shit. Sheā€™s got so much emotional baggage she dumps it on others, and she lives by her prejudices against mages and elves.
At first.
It wasnā€™t until I reach her personal quest scene where she discovers that asshole noble from Virchel that killed her Red Jenny friends to get to her. The absolute, sheer rage at the loss of her friends was...it left me kind of floored. Because in the beginning up until this point, Sera only makes comments about how sheā€™ll give Red Jenny information to the Inquisition so the sky can be fixed and she can ā€œgo back and play.ā€ But at this particular moment? You see she cares about her contacts and even more, the cause of the Red Jennies, than just business usually is. Sheā€™s hurt, sheā€™s infuriated, and you can hear her voice break at the end when she realizes how many died at the hands of the Virchel noble without him even feeling remotely guilty.
So of course I let her kill him.
If you continue down a path of good charity work to NPCs throughout the game, Sera approves every time. Sera approves if you help her in aiding the ā€œlittle people.ā€ Sera also greatly approves if you let Blackwall stay if you banish the Grey Wardens, because she knows a good man when she sees one.
She still can be an asshole. I hate how she talks to Cole, and I hate how disrespectful she is to Solasā€™ and my inquisitorā€™s background. But as she slowly opens up, sheā€™s not as bad of a character that she wants to make herself out to be.
But letā€™s spin this around a bit, at this point Iā€™m just rambling about awesome writing and 3-dimensional character development. You want a character to hate with every fiber of your being? A character thatā€™s extremely toxic and an actual piece of shit? A character that isnā€™t an obvious villain but sure seems like one at the way she treats others?
You ready for this?
Bianca Davri.
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This. Bitch.
Not only does she keep Varric attached to her on a leash (with his own actions too, not saying sheā€™s 100% doing it), but sheā€™s the reason Corypheus has red lyrium to begin with. Sheā€™s the reason Varric has assassins come after him if theyā€™re not 500 leagues apart.
Bianca likes to boast that sheā€™s a better shot than Varric, and a whole lot smarter than everyone else, all behind a very flirty facade. Varric mentions in the game dialogue that the guild was considering making her a Paragon for a machine she made, and she brushes it off. But think about it. If sheā€™s such a genius that sheā€™s not only a better marksman than Varric and the guild is even remotely discussing the idea of a surfacer Paragon (even at her cynicism) and is a brilliant merchant as well, why was she so dumb enough to recruit Lorias, a Grey Warden partnered with Corypheus, without any background checks? Sheā€™s on the surface, she wouldā€™ve heard by then that the Grey Wardens were banished/joined the Inquisition sooner than later, and she definitely would have heard what happened at Adamant and have been cautious. If she really wanted to study the effects of red lyrium and how it works, she should have contacted the Inquisition.
But she didnā€™t. 
Not only does she fail in her case and her study, but while knowing the truth of the damage sheā€™s caused, she continues to lie to both the Inquisitor AND Varric, someone she claims she loves, until Varric and/or the Inquisitor catches on. She gets defensive, every step of the way, not even once coming clean about her huge mistake. If she told the truth sooner, the emotional blowout at the end wouldā€™ve been lessened.
Despite the rules made against her and Varric, she continues to endanger his life by seeking him out, hence the beginning of Varricā€™s personal quest. Sheā€™s a married woman and is going behind her husbandā€™s back to see him (which like, I get, it was a betrothal that wasnā€™t made on her end but at the same time like maybe stop putting Varric in danger just because you canā€™t keep it in your own pants??) Her family constantly sends assassins after Varric, and in some of the dialogue of Varricā€™s personal quest, you hear that she attended her own wedding, ā€œone that she actually showed up for.ā€ Meaning she LEFT HIM AT THE ALTAR.
So this emotionally abusive woman has now gotten defensive at Varric and the Inquisitor getting angry at her being the leak to Corypheus. Sure, she didnā€™t DIRECTLY send it to him and his Venatori, but she may as well have, because she continued to lie and put everyone in danger. At being confronted and her half apologies didnā€™t work, she begins to insult Varric, calling him a coward and weak.
Oh, yeah. Wow. Great apology.
In the end, Varric leaves in the most dignified way telling her Bogdin is probably looking for her, reminding her that they arenā€™t a thing as much as she likes to pretend they are. Even if your Inquisitor defends her, Varric, or neither of them because of the bickering, she threatens the Inquisitor physical harm before she leaves if ā€œyou get Varric killed.ā€
Wow. What a charmer.
Seriously, I really hope Varric is romanceable in the next game, because Bianca doesnā€™t deserve him. 
All in all, Sera is just a tough-to-swallow character that needs to have barriers broken down in order to like her, and Bianca is a Mega Bitch we all avoid in real life.
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fenharel-babe Ā· 4 years ago
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For Evermore...
Solas x Lavellan.
Solavellan timeee. I was listening to ā€œEvermoreā€ from the new Beauty and The Beast movie and I LOVE IT and I see Solas in it,,,and the movie isnā€™t ā€˜newā€™ but ya know what I mean. Enjoy :)). 
ā€œI was the one who had it all. I was the master of my fate.ā€
He had it all in his hands. He is the one who controls his fate, controls is actions, his choices, and his heart. But things change. Things always change in life. And Solas learned that once again, but not in the way he thought he would.
He honestly didnā€™t expect his opinions to change or his views to change, but they did. Everything changed when he met the Herald of Andraste, the chosen on, the savior to everyone, or as he saw her, Bloom Lavellan. 
ā€œI never needed anybody in my life. I learned the truth...too late.ā€
And he felt things change. Not at once, but slowly. He began to like to be near her, he admired her for caring for everyone, because oh did she care for everyone. A man was a widow and he couldnā€™t go to his wifeā€™s grave and put flowers, but Bloom offered to do it for him, and Solas didnā€™t expect her to do it, but she did. She dragged herself up all the way to the grave, all with a smile and happy conversations, and laid the flowers to rest. And when the scouts went missing, she put all her energy into finding them. She spent a few late nights up and he only knew because she told him. There were times when she went to the Rotunda and wanted to hear his stories. She always was out there but when she came to Solas one on one, she was a little anxious, and so was he. He didnā€™t understand why at first, but he slowly began to understand why. 
He began to fall in love with her. He realized it in many different ways, or he felt like he loved her and pushed it away until he couldnā€™t anymore. He told her the last story he could tell her one night, and he realized he loved her. Well, not then, but the day after. Itā€™s because she became busy after that day and she still came to him. He was up late at night, painting, and she always came to visit him. She visited all her friends, but she stayed a lot longer with him. And sometimes...she fell asleep on the couch, and when she did he couldnā€™t help but look at her a lot longer than he should. He just couldnā€™t get over the way she looked. She was peaceful, her fire was blazing hot, yet she was cool and calm. He would stop painting and find a blanket he would use when he slept, and put it over her body, slowly trying not to wake her. And thatā€™s when he began to believe he loved her. However, he pushed it away and kept going on.
And then when she was injured when closing a rift. She was hit by the demons before that, but closing the rift was the last straw. She passed out as it closed and Solas turned around and saw her hit the ground, and then his heart dropped to his stomach. He knew she wasnā€™t dead, she was too strong for that, but he still worried. He went to her immediately, all sounds stopping except the sound of his heart beat sky rocketing. When he finally got to her, he picked her up and took her to the nearest camp site, not caring that he was a little rough when he said, ā€œWeā€™re done for that day.ā€ He rushed her back to the camp, almost forgetting about his companions, and he felt so lucky that there were no demons in sight, the rifts wll close because of her hard work. And her heat also comforted him. When she was hot, she was alive. She was always hot, always alive, and fighting for her life, and he hopes she keeps fighting now.
And she did. When they got back to the camp, he poured basicallt all his magic into healing her, and after a few hours of pacing back and forth outside her tent, reading a book (even if he wasnā€™t really), and eventually sitting in her tent with her, she opened her eyes and the tent got hotter. And he realized he loved her, but pushed it away. Again.
And then when he met her on the balcony and when his lips touched his again, and when she came to the Rotunda before she went to a place without him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and when she asked him to spend one night in her room, not doing anything but enjoying each otherā€™s presence, and when he joined her and told her stories and listened to her own. It all lead up to him holding her in his arms, she clutching on to his arms, feeling her hands on his bare skin, keeping her cold and happy, and seeing her face looking peaceful and knowing he put it there.
ā€œI love her,ā€ he told himself and he kept repeating it. It sounded weird until it didnā€™t and he enjoyed loving her. But when he finally remembered his mission, it came crashing down. He was going to destroy the world, which meant heā€™d destroy her. And his heart ached at the thought, so he held her tight whenever he could, and realized itā€™s too late. Heā€™s met the love he truly loves...but itā€™s too late.
ā€œIā€™ll never shake away the pain. I close my eyes but sheā€™s still there.ā€
As he watches her turn to everyone to say theyā€™ve won, his heart cracks with each step he takes away, but he turns away from her, he has to. However, he stops and takes one last look at her. He canā€™t help it. He has to look at her one. More. Time. And he does, but he still walks away with his feet feeling like heā€™s walking through mud. And when he found his hideout, he instantly made his agents watch her. He couldnā€™t be there physically, but he will make sure she is safe. And when he sees her in the fade, he wants to see her. He wants to go to her and hold her until it hurts, kiss her until they both are breathless, but he canā€™t. He wonā€™t give in that easy.
Yet, when heā€™s not even in the fade, he thinks of her. Whenever he sets his eyes on anything blue, he remembers her bright blue eyes and how her favorite color was blue, and he canā€™t stop seeing her. But he doesnā€™t want to. Heā€™d gladly think about her for the rest of his sad life.
ā€œI rage against the trials of love. I curse the fading of the light.ā€
But he shouldnā€™t love her. He shouldnā€™t. He told himself he wouldnā€™t fall for her, or anyone, but here he was thinking of her whenever he was alone. Because of this, he buried himself in his work. Almost to the point where his own workers got worried for him, but he just told them not to worry. He was trying to get his mind off of something.
Well, someone.
ā€œThough sheā€™s already flown so far beyond my reach, sheā€™s never out of sight.ā€
She has done so many things. So many things he can be proud of. She has saved many people, defeated Alexius, defeated the demon in the fade, even made it into the fade, saved Celene, made Skyhold her home, and she defeated Corypheus. How could he not be proud of her? Sheā€™s always busy and doing work, itā€™s what his agents tell him, and he may not be there with her, but sheā€™s never out of his sight. He always has people watching on her, making sure sheā€™s safe, and at night he joins her in the fade. When she noticed he was there that one time, she never forgot it. She always calls out to him in the night, but he canā€™t reply. He canā€™t give in, he wonā€™t, but he wishes he can. However, just being able to see her makes a tiny spark of happiness light up in his heart.
ā€œNow I know sheā€™ll never leave me. Even as she runs away. She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me, move me...come what may.ā€
With everything he does, he thinks of what she would say. When she found out he was the Dread Wolf, she didnā€™t seem afraid of him. She still smiled at him and still told him that she loves him, and he loves her. He couldnā€™t deny it at this point. It had been two years of aching and longing, and heā€™s not an idiot. He knows that itā€™s love. And whenever he gets angry, he remembers when he found his spirit friend and the mages that hurt them. He was angry and was going to kill them, but Bloom grabbed his arm and when he looked at her, he saw a worried look. 
ā€œSolas. Donā€™t.ā€
And as he mourned on his own and even now those words echo in his head. She calms him, yet hurts him when he remembers her, and she gives him hope, but he doesnā€™t like it. She is strong and stubborn, he learned this when he first met her, so he doesnā€™t expect her to give up. It strives him to hope and to be just like her, even if their desires are separate things.
ā€œWasting in my lonely tower...waiting by an open door. Iā€™ll fool myself, sheā€™ll walk right in.ā€
Every night there is something inside of him that wishes the door will open and she will be there. In her clothes she wore when she walked around Skyhold, her hair down and looking a little tangly, and wearing a smile on her face. He knows it will never happen, it never could. If she ever came here, sheā€™d want to kill him, and he sees why, and part of him thinks he would let her. He is a fool to think he wouldnā€™t love her, a fool to always push it away, and heā€™s a fool for thinking he would be fine without her.
ā€œAnd as the long, long nights begin. Iā€™ll think all of that might have been. Waiting here for Evermore.ā€
And as he looks her in the Fade, and seeing her looking around for him, he thinks of everything that couldā€™ve been. They could be happy, he could help her with the Inquisition, he couldā€™ve told her everything he felt for her. No sliver or half, everything. But now he has to stand here and watch her as she begs for him to come to her, to come home, and how they can fix this.
He has to watch and deal with his choices for all his life. For evermore. 
Alright! Thatā€™s it! I hope you liked it. I have a few more fics coming, 2 of them will be sooner because the other is so difficult. Anyways yeah love yā€™allšŸ’™. 
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pikapeppa Ā· 5 years ago
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Abelas/Lavellan angst: The Knife Again In My Soul
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Thank you, @midnightpreludeā€‹ and @contreparryā€‹. ā¤ļø For @dadrunkwritingā€‹ Friday.
Read on AO3 instead. ~2000 words.
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He never said it when they were together.
It was not because Abelas didnā€™t have the chance. There were a multitude of moments when he could have told Athera that he loved her. Now that they are apart, with Abelas following faithfully at Fenā€™Harelā€™s side while Athera does her best to unravel their plans from afar, the memories of those many lost moments torture him during the times when there is nothing else to occupy his mind. 
He could have said it when they were eating those tiny Orlesian cakes in the kitchen at Tarasylā€™an Teā€™las. Her smile was secretive when she removed the cover from the platter of cakes, and the way she popped each whole cake in her mouth was endearingly common. He loved Athera, with her mischievous smile and the way she teased Solas for having a sweet tooth when she herself harboured a fiendish fondness for sugar. 
But he didnā€™t tell her so.
He could have said it during one of the blissful and too-few times that they were making love. Abelas hadnā€™t been touched this way in over a thousand years, and Athera had all the eagerness and energy of youth, and the way they came together wasā€¦ fenedhis, it was better than anything his vast and melancholy morass of memories could conjure. She arched into his fingers and his tongue in a way that made him feel so incredibly wanted, and she gave herself to him so completely, pouring a potent combination of emotion and desire into every kiss and every arching thrust as she brought herself down against his hips. He loved Athera, loved the heat of her tongue and the taste of the nectar between her legs and the sweet feeling of sinking inside of her. 
But he didnā€™t tell her so.
He could have said it the last time he saw her in a dream, after Fenā€™Harel had taken the mark from her ill-fated arm. He should have said it then; it was their last chance, and both of them knew it. He should have said it before she woke, before the Fade faded away from her and stole her from his grasp. He loved Athera, loved her conviction and her commitment to her duty and how gently she touched him despite the barrier of their opposing goals.
But he didnā€™t tell her so. And now it is too late. 
It has been a year since Abelas last saw Athera, and still he thinks of her late at night in those quiet and desolate moments when he lies on his pallet with nothing else to do. He thinks of her, running over the memories of their too-brief time together, and he thinks of how he loves her and how she never knew.
It is on one of these lonely nights that he visits Tarasylā€™an Teā€™las in a dream. The Dread Wolfā€™s old stronghold is empty once again, abandoned shortly after Fenā€™Harel revealed himself to Athera. As per Fenā€™Harelā€™s extensive network of agents, the Inquisition now operates as a series of connected cells in disparate places across the continent, and Abelas knows that Fenā€™Harel both approves of the Inquisitionā€™s decentralization and pities their attempts to keep up with him. 
Abelas canā€™t decide how he feels about this mixture of approval and pity. But he knows that Athera would be angry if she knew of her former best friendā€™s pity, and this is enough to make his heart ache.
He treads softly through the fortress in his dream, nodding graciously to the many spirits that hover here and skimming over the memories that are stored in the ancient stones. He soon finds himself in her bedroom ā€” the bedroom that she shared with him during the precious handful of nights they spent together. It is his intention to sink into the memories here, to torture himself by gorging on the moments of their love that have sunk into this sacred space. 
But the room is already occupied by spirits, and they are gathered around the writing desk.
Curious, Abelas approaches the desk, then stops short in shock: there are three letters on the desk, and the letters are made of parchment. Mundane parchment from her world, which has somehow found its way into the Fade. 
Even more shocking is the fact that the letters are addressed to him ā€“ addressed in her large and loopy handwriting. 
His pulse is pounding in his ears. Numbly, carefully, he picks the first letter up. It is dated Drakonis 16: nine months ago. 
Abelas,
I wonder if this will get to you? I honestly have no idea. I burned this letter in a veilfire torch as an experiment. Solasļæ½ļæ½Your precious friend Fenā€™Harel said veilfire straddles our world and the Fade, so I figured, whatā€™s the harm? Worse comes to worst, I wrote and burned a letter. Itā€™ll hardly be the craziest thing Iā€™ve ever done. Actually, itā€™s probably better if this doesnā€™t get to you. I just hope it doesnā€™t pop into the Fade on some poor unsuspecting spiritā€™s head.
I wonder how you are. Iā€™m doing great. I just realized I canā€™t tell you anything else about what Iā€™m doing because youā€™ll just take it back to fucking Fenā€™Harel. I hate miss you.
Since I canā€™t tell you anything meaningful, here are some random thoughts instead.
Deep mushroom is terrible on cakes and in tea. Donā€™t trust Orlesian tastes.
Why are there so many words for the colour blue? Cerulean, navy, midnight, ocean, sky, indigoā€¦ are there this many words for colours in old Elvhen? I bet there are even more. Elvhen seems tricky that way.
What would happen if I cut my hair? Would the voices from the Virā€™Abelasan stop making my hair dance around in my dreams? Probably not. Either way, Iā€™m thinking about cutting my hair.
Iā€™m reading ā€˜This Shit Is Weirdā€™ again for nostalgia reasons and I love the way Varric portrayed Blackwall Thom. Heā€™s such a romantic hero, and Varric got him pegged. I swear that even Cassandra swoons over it.
Crystal grace is my favourite flower. Did I ever tell you that? Itā€™s so pretty.
Thatā€™s all I can think of for now. 
Love, Athera
There are splotches in the ink on the second half of the letter, like the echoes of teardrops on the parchment, and Abelas canā€™t breathe. It feels like there is a vice compressing his ribs.
He picks up the second letter. It is dated from five months ago.
Dear Abelas,
Some more random thoughts.
Who do you think was the first person who looked at a nug and thought, ā€˜you know what I should do? Breed this little creature to be huge so I can ride it into battle.ā€™ Who did that? Who thought that was a good idea? I love nuggalopes, donā€™t get me wrong, but still. Theyā€™re sort of obscene.
The Grand Tourney is quite fun to watch. Thom and Varric brought me to see it. Itā€™s basically this big sparring competition that happens in the Free Marches. I would never have gone before the Inquisition because, you know, Dalish. So I guess thatā€™s something nice thatā€™s come out of this.
Sometimes I lie awake in the middle of the night and wonder what it would feel like if I just stopped breathing. If I just held my breath and didnā€™t
I talked Dorian into reading sections of ā€˜Swords and Shieldsā€™ to me at night through the sending crystal when I canā€™t sleep. Itā€™s so funny that I swear I canā€™t breathe from laughing by the time he finishes a page. Maevaris must think heā€™s gone mad.
Love, Athera
Abelas wipes his face and picks up the third and final letter. It is dated from two months ago.
Abelas,
Some random thoughts:
Here are some of the many words for red: carmine, scarlet, blood, ruby, pomegranate, tomato, cherry ā€“ no, now Iā€™m just listing foods. I must be hungry.
Isnā€™t it strange how some grass feels nice and soft under your feet, and some grass is pokey and it just tickles you? Grass is strange. All plants are strange, really. (I am not high, I promise.)
I managed to land a hit on Thom the other day when he was training me with a sword and the shield for my missing arm. Considering that Iā€™m all unbalanced, Iā€™d say thatā€™s pretty damn good.
I love you. I hate that I love you. I hate that I still fucking miss you. I thought about asking Cole to make me forget you before he went back to the Fade, but I couldnā€™t bring myself to ask. I should have. I wonder if he would have done it.
Love, Athera
He stares numbly at the letters. He should take them to Fenā€™Harel. There may be clues in these letters, hints about the Inquisitionā€™s activity that Solas will be able to pick out due to familiarity with its people. Besides, it is important for Fenā€™Harel to know that burning an item in veilfire sends it to the Fade. Perhaps he is already aware, but it is something that Abelas didnā€™t know; there is still much he doesnā€™t fully understand about the way the deadened world interacts with the potency of the Fade. 
He sinks to his knees and stares at the letters. She was writing to him all this time. Writing to him without knowing that he would ever see these letters. Writing to him because she missed him and wished that they could speak. 
Athera was writing to him because she loves him. And Abelas never told her so. 
The pain is like a howling pit in his chest. The spirits are crowding around him and crooning with his reflected sorrow, and he doesnā€™t have the heart to tell them that their company only hurts him more. 
He remains in her bedroom for time uncounted. He reads the letters again and again, hearing her sunny laugh in his head and imagining her clear grey eyes filling with tears as they did so many times ā€“ too many times ā€“ during their short time together. He reads the letters again and again, his gaze lingering on the love that marks the end of each one.
He should show the letters to Fenā€™Harel. He knows the price of betraying the Dread Wolf, the price paid by the slow arrow, and it is a price that Abelas can ill afford, not while he still has a duty to fulfill to his people and to Mythal. 
He wonders if Athera will write more letters. There was no final farewell on the most recent one.
He wonders if he wants her to. 
By the time he rises to his feet to leave Tarasylā€™an Teā€™las, his heart is so heavy that itā€™s a wonder he can stand. He lingers for a moment, his gaze on the bed they shared ā€” the bed they lay in together and moved in together and talked in until the deepest hours of the night. 
He never told Athera he loved her, because he didnā€™t want to make this harder for her. The love Abelas harbours is selfish, an empty offering that has given her nothing but pain and a binding more cruel than the kind that those Tevinter mages place on the spirits they seek to control. He never told her he loved her, hoping that if the words remained unsaid, the consequences would be less painful for them both.
He stares at her letters. In these words of devotion written in her hand, his naĆÆvetĆ© and his denial are laid bare, and Abelas wishes with his entire broken heart that he had told her while he had the chance.
He wipes his tear-stained face. She is no longer here in the place where they talked and laughed and moved together in a torrid tempest of desperation, and he doesnā€™t know if she will ever come back. 
He takes a deep breath. Then, far too late, he tells her.
ā€œI love you, Athera,ā€ he whispers. ā€œYou deserved better than a tired old warrior like me.ā€ 
His words rise into the air to join the spirits still clamouring around him, and in their nebulous and never-ending memories, he knows his love will stay here forever. 
He folds the letters carefully and places them in the pouch at his belt. Then, with one last lingering look at her bed, Abelas steps out of the Fade. 
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lasandra Ā· 3 months ago
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How My favorite 2 Lavellan Inquisitors Feel About Solas: Pt 1 Eowynn
I know literally no one cares, but it's my blog and I feel like sharing lol. Under the cut because it's loooooong. Pt 2
Eowynn Lavellan: For context, Eowynn is very Dalish. She is the first of her clan and as such has been trained to be a leader, to put the good of others before herself. Eowynn respected Solas though she didn't care for the way he spoke of her people. She understood that he must have had bad experiences with other Dalish clans and was determined to change his mind about them. She also tended to seek him out more than the others because he seemed less foreign to her than everyone else. It was comforting after being thrusted into a world so unlike what she was accustomed to. Honestly, she's not sure what possessed her to kiss Solas back in the fade (Me. It was me that possessed her). It was very much unlike her to do something like that. She'd always been so good at controlling her emotions, but when it comes to Solas she struggles. She lets the mask she normally wears slide off; allows herself to be vulnerable around him. She trusts him, despite all logic telling her not to. When he tells her about the vallaslin, she doesn't handle it well but she decides to keep her vallaslin as she is of the belief the Dalish have given it a new meaning. When Solas breaks up with her, it is something like a bucket of cold water being poured over her. "I have distracted you from your duties." She knows he is right. "It will not happen again." That moment crushes her. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you..." She slides the mask back on. "Everyone makes mistakes..." she admits. It was as much her mistake as it was his. She knew better. Love wasn't for people in her position. It's a distraction. That doesn't stop her from crying miserably in her room when she is certain no one will hear her. She avoids being around him in any way that isn't professional and is glad that he does the same. She's honestly relieved when he disappears after the fight with Corypheus. He'd be too much of a distraction and her work isn't done. Not yet. Come Trespasser, when she realizes he is involved, she actually feels sick. He is her weakness and she knows it. When she discovers who he is--because believe you me, SHE discovers who he is without him having to tell her--she is FURIOUS. With him. With herself. What was his game? What did he have to gain for making her believe he loved her? Just a ploy to bring her guard down? So that she wouldn't see him for what he really was? She feels embarrassed. Foolish. The confrontation with Solas is... complicated. She is angry, calls him out for lying. She did not think he would still be able to affect her (in any way other than making her more angry). Instead, with every answer she gets, she just feels more conflicted, more confused. He claims to love her and yet her world must be destroyed. Her people must be destroyed. For his people. Why? Why does it require such destruction? He refuses to answer. It feels as though her heart is breaking all over again, more painful than last time. She is desperate to change his mind. She doesn't want to do what it will take to stop him. ā€œVar lath vir suledinā€ "I wish it could, Vhenan." Those words break her. And when he steps through the eluvian she bawls, completely and utterly distraught. She struggles to put her mask back on, though she is ultimately able. She knows they have to stop him, whatever it takes, though, she prays that she will not be there when it happens.
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gremlinquisitor Ā· 5 years ago
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2019 Year in Review!
Thank you so much to @thejeeperswife for the tag! Gonna say right up front that Iā€™m not tagging anyone, but if you want to do this, you definitely should!!
If youā€™d asked me without my looking, Iā€™d have said I only did one thing this year. It really felt like it, at least. Like all I did this year was work on Recreate His Worldly Glory.
Apparently thatā€™s not true, though! Apparently I posted a whole 15 fics over the course of 2019, with at least another 5 or 6 WIPs in the wings. 124,660 words total posted to AO3 is not bad at all, if I may say so myself. As for total written this year, I have no idea. I started keeping track in a google sheet at @barbexā€˜s excellent suggestion, but that fell apart somewhere after the summer at around 104k.
What I Wrote
Recreate His Worldly Glory: 76112 words so far, 13/36 chapters posted. Rated T, Sebastian/Hawke. Starts after the end of DA2 and follows Sebastian and the gang to Starkhaven. Chaste Sebastian. Happy ending.
If I Were a Wise Man, I Would Know My Part: 29357 words, 11/11 chapters posted. Rated E. ALL THE TROPES! Fake relationship, snowed in, hypothermia that leads to cuddling for warmth. Happy ending. 
The Legend of Sleepy Crestwood: 2865 words, Rated T, Alistair/Cullen, for a Halloween fanwork exchange. Based on the legend of Sleepy Hollow, with Alistair as hapless Ichabod.
The World Has No Right to My Heart: 1217 words, Rated G. Cassandra seeks Hawke out while sheā€™s in Skyhold, curious about details of the Tale of the Champion.
Plenty of Time: 1170 words, Rated G, Sebastian/Hawke. Being Prince is hard sometimes; Hawke makes it easier.
Gotta Get a Letter to You: 2016 words,  Rated G, Nikhael Trevelyan/Ser Morris. Set later than Fragile and Fleeting,  Ser Simon comes to find Nikhael when he's tending to the Circle's messenger birds. (This one is sad.)
Fragile and Fleeting: 1039 words, Rated G, Nikhael Trevelyan/Ser Morris. In which Nikhael falls in more ways than one.
Give Us More Time: 1299 words, Rated G, Cassandra/f!Inquisitor.  After the Inquisition's narrow escape at Haven, the Herald remains in a coma. Cassandra goes to her tent to get some things off her chest.
Destiny in Your Hands: 2029 words, Rated G, Bellial Adaar/Blackwall. Bellial doesnā€™t take the revelation about Thom Ranier very well. 
Are You Jealous?: 1793 words, Rated T, Alistair/Cullen. Alistair finds his way to Cullen's office in Skyhold. Cullen shouldn't care that Alistair's been spending time with Hawke, but he does, maybe more than he cares to admit.
Turned to Stone: 1706 words, Rated G, Sebastian/Fenris. A Beauty and the Beast AU, where Fenris is cursed by a Tevinter magister to turn to stone if he can not love and be loved in return.
Aftermath: 1033 words, Rated G, Sulahnassan Lavellan/Cullen.  Cullen has a bit of a breakdown at the war table. Sulahn comes to find him afterwards.
Who Will Watch the Watchers?: 1296 words, Rated G, Eorryn Cousland/Alistair. In which word reaches the Warden-Commander about the siege at Adamant, and those who were lost. (This one is sad.)
How to Loot a Dragon: 960 words, Rated G, Gen. A recounting of the aftermath of the fight with the dragon in the Bone Pit. 
**The Tale of Corin and Neriah: 3445 words, Rated T, Corin/Neriah. A telling of he end of the Second Blight, written for In Peace, Vigilence zine (link is to pre-order promo post, not yet posted anywhere.)
Not Dragon Age: 
Taken: 768 words, Rated G, EraserMight.  ā€œI donā€™t understand you. You always say youā€™re taken, but we both know you have no boyfriend.ā€ Revelations in the recovery ward. 
Year-End Questions
Number of Smut Scenes? One posted, with at least three more in WIPs. I am terribly shy about smut, but I like having it in a story if I think it serves a purpose, and it will in these, if I ever post them.
New Things I Tried This Year? Finishing and posting an enormous multi-chapter monster. Applying to a zine. Getting picked for a zine. 
Favorite Thing I Wrote This Year? The Tale of Corin and Neriah is quite good, I really encourage everyone to get a copy of the zine, not just for that, but also for that. There are also some things in RHWG that I am very proud of and am looking forward to sharing.
Favorite Fic I Read This Year: I have read so much incredible fic this year. I donā€™t want to choose just one, so Iā€™m gonna do a little rec list now.
A Love Long Lost by @sweetonsebastian. She writes Sebastian so wonderfully confident and secure in himself, and yet reserved when it comes to his past with Cullen, and the potential for them to start again. Cullen is wrecked, and she lets it show. This fic has incredible side characters, a beautiful use of language, so much lovely art, and just the happiest ending. I love it.
Lyrium Skin by @barbex. I devoured this in one sitting while I was getting tattooed this autumn, and my only regret is that I couldnā€™t type out comments on every chapter because I kept dropped my phone on my face trying to do it one-handed (my tattoo is on my other arm...) Her love for these characters and their stories is so clear, and I love the way she writes Fenris. Really looking forward to seeing where this goes. 
The Far Shore by @aban-asaara. One of the last fics I started this year, but I love everything Asaara writes, and this is no exception. Fenris and Amabel Hawke are going to Rivain, but itā€™s never that easy. Amabel is a wonderful character, and again, Asaaraā€™s love for her and for Fenris is clear in every sentence. Bright, vivid descriptions, word choice that I honestly envy sometimes because itā€™s just perfect. Weā€™re only getting started, and I canā€™t wait to see whatā€™s going to happen next.
A Chance Engagement by @hollyand-writes. Iā€™ve never read Pride and Prejudice, so every turn this story takes is new for me. I can only imagine the layers it must have for someone whoā€™s read the original. The lovely Miss Merrill and the handsome Sir Carver are such a pleasure to read. I save this one up and read several chapters at once when I can, so that I make it last longer. A glorious Regency treat with a wonderful cast picked from DAO and DA2 (including the Arishok! Dancing!!)
Sun-Touched by @lucyrne. WHY CANā€™T WE ROMANCE VARRIC?! This fic is the perfect example of why we should be allowed to, or someone should, and if not my PC, then Bethany Hawke. Fake dating, trips to Orzammar, dancing and kisses and danger and intrigue. Lucy writes Varric so well that it makes my heart hurt when heā€™s sad, itā€™s so good and genuine and him, and the contrast with Bethanyā€™s POV is remarkable. This fic also has a wonderful, sympathetic take on Bianca Davri that I hope people enjoy when they read it. It made me think about her a lot, which I appreciate in a story. 
Goals for 2020
Try to write more shorter things and not just coast along posting RHWG and nothing else for the first half of the year. I would really like to spend more time putting Bellial and Blackwallā€™s story down on paper. Itā€™s racy and volatile and not at all what Iā€™m used to.
I also have a couple big WIPs that Iā€™d like to see finished, including Concertmaster Baggins and my original novel. 
I also hope to do a lot more reading. My ā€œto be readā€ list is embarrassingly long.
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skittlesfics Ā· 6 years ago
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Empathy - Cole x Reader
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Name: Empathy
Pairing: Cole x Reader
Word Count: 1,186
A/N: Iā€™ve never written Cole before. This was fun to try!
Requests are open!
ā€œHe watches her when she laughs, the joke wasnā€™t to her but it was for her. Everythingā€”anything for her smile.ā€ Cole frowned as he watched the young recruit. He was making jokes to another soldier, but his eyes never left a healer. He found himself thinking of the new barmaid at the Heraldā€™s Rest and that had never happened before.
Peopleā€™s thoughts were their own, they were either about someone or they were not and this young recruitā€™s thoughts were certainly not about the new barmaid and if they wereā€”Cole wasnā€™t sure how to finish that thought. His own tended to be more tenuous and less tangible than the other thoughts he could hear. He took one of the healerā€™s personal toolsā€”engraved with her nameā€”and slipped it in the young recruitā€™s pocket. He left them at that.
ā€œHer chest aches but sweetly. He sees another but she sees happiness and that has to be enough.ā€ Cole said, wincing. ā€œSheā€™s lying when he asks if sheā€™s okay butā€”she wants it to be true.ā€
ā€œHey, uh, could you do that a little less loudly?ā€ The Iron Bull asked, taking a long swig from his pint. He could tolerate the little spirit, but it was easier when he wasnā€™t being soā€¦ spirit-y.
ā€œOh, leave him be, Bull.ā€ You chastised from your spot at the bar. You had befriended Cole in your first few days at Skyhold and you made a point of listening to him and talking to him.
Bull made a noncommittal noise and shuffled back to his usual corner, safe from Coleā€™s monologues.
ā€œWhat does it mean?ā€ Cole asked, turning to you suddenly. You started to ask him to elaborate but he held his hands up to the side of his head and frowned. ā€œShe wants him but she says sheā€™s okay if he wants her, not her. Sheā€™s lying but she wants to be honest?ā€
You smiled sympathetically, looking past Cole to the pair of scouts sitting near the door. Poor girl.
ā€œShe loves him, Cole.ā€ You said gently, already planning a way to get some sort of tart or drink to the girl without it being too obvious what it was for.
ā€œThen why is she lying about him being with her? And why does she want it to be true?ā€ Coleā€™s confusion made him sound panicked, and you found yourself reaching for his hand.
ā€œSometimes when you love someone, you just want them to be happy. It might still hurt that theyā€™re with someone else, but that doesnā€™t mean youā€™d rather they be miserable than be with someone else.ā€ You explained, patting his hand gently.
Cole frowned as he processed the information and you took the moment to consider your stock of tarts. You found one that looked sweet enough and carefully wrapped it in a bit of parchment. You didnā€™t have a quill on hand to leave a note, but you couldnā€™t risk the other scout seeing it anyway.
ā€œDoes the ache go away?ā€ Cole asked, his gaze returning to the woman. You grimaced as you thought of how to address his question, pressing the wrapped tart and another, unwrapped tart into his hands.
ā€œSometimes.ā€ You said honestly. Cole frowned, but nodded anyway. You watched as he stood and crossed the room. He leaned and murmured something to the hurting woman, passing her the wrapped tart before leaving the bar entirely. Moments later the woman was blinking, confused, at the tart in her hands. Her companion was none the wiser.
ā€œThe world is brighter having known her. Colors are not the same or perhaps she had just never noticed colors before this. The hummingbird in her chest awakens when sheā€™s near and sleeps too much when sheā€™s away.ā€
Cole turned away from Lace Harding to look at the woman she spoke of, the Inquisitor.
ā€œCole,ā€ the Inquisitor teased, ā€œWeā€™ve talked about spilling peopleā€™s hearts for them.ā€ She wasnā€™t angry, though Lace did look embarrassed. Lavellan leaned down and kissed the Dwarven woman, squeezing her quickly before gesturing for Cole to follow her. They did have a quest to fulfill, after all.
-
The next time Cole wandered into the Heraldā€™s Rest, he looked exhausted. You frowned and considered your selection of tarts, pulling the best-looking one for him as he took a seat at the bar.
ā€œAre you alright?ā€ You asked gently, placing the tart on a plate in front of him. He shook his head.
ā€œThey can remember me now.ā€ He stated simply, glancing around the bar, ā€œThen again, you could always remember me, couldnā€™t you?ā€ He turned his gaze onto you, and you blushed under the intensity of it. You had come to care for Cole deeply. You might even call it a crush.
ā€œI could.ā€ You admitted, hoping that he could not read you well enough to know how you were feeling.
ā€œCould youā€¦ explain something for me?ā€ Cole asked, uneasy. It had been some time since he had come to you with feelings to parse, but you would never deny him this.
ā€œOf course.ā€ You responded seriously. A patron called out for a refill and you quickly poured another ale before turning your full attention back to Cole.
ā€œIā€”Feel more things now than I did before. At least, I feel them more strongly than I feel other peopleā€™s things.ā€ He started, his voice unsteady, ā€Why is it that sometimes my heart races when I think about someone? I hear something lovely and I want to share it with her. I think about her even when she is not around. I should be helping others, but I want to find all the ways that I can make her smile.ā€ The confession would be a thing of beauty if he did not sound so utterly vexed by his own emotions. You smiled softly, shaking your head.
ā€œCole, youā€™ve fallen in love.ā€ You wondered who she was. There was the inquisitor, of course, but she was taken by Lace. You supposed it could be any number of people among the inquisition. When you looked back at Cole, he was frowning.
ā€œYour heart aches but youā€™re pretending that it doesnā€™t. Youā€™re happy that Iā€™m feeling but you wish that it was for you.ā€ Cole had only shared your own pain with you once, when you first met. Hearing him now telling you how you were feelingā€¦ You felt foolish.
ā€œCole, Iā€”ā€
ā€œYouā€™d let yourself hurt if it would make me happy, but you wish that it didnā€™t have to hurt.ā€ He stopped himself, staring at you with those wide eyes of him. He said your name softly and you swallowed, waiting for him to say something, anything. ā€œItā€™s you. Sheā€™s you. I meanā€¦ My feelings are for you.ā€ He managed. His words were clumsy now that he was not describing feelings directly, but that didnā€™t change the impact it had on you.
ā€œIā€¦ want to be the one to make you smile.ā€ He settled on finally. You licked your dry lips and nodded, unable to contain your smile.
ā€œI want to be that for you too.ā€
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inquisitor-julia Ā· 5 years ago
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what do your inquisitors plan to do with Solas?
hmmm well if they get the chance to deal with Solas in da4 (and are not replaced 100% by a new protagonist) then originally 7/9 of them were going to try to redeem him in some way....but with the implications of the red lyrium idol being involved in his plans (via that minute long teaser trailer) Iā€™m not entirely sure how theyā€™ll feel anymore? I think most of them will stick to wanting to save him from himself if possible but all of them would choose the safety of Thedas over Solas if forced to make that choice...so that went to a dark place but anyway.
Personally I donā€™t feel that the veil coming down is inherently a bad thing just...whatever rip off the band-aid solution Solas has come up with is a little extreme for Thedas to deal with all at once. And honestly Solas, my dude last time you altered the fabric of reality you didnā€™t like the result and have been kicking yourself ever since. I think the veil needs to and will come down but I also think this requires a delicate approach so that people have time to adapt? I firmly believe that whether you support Solas or not in da4 the veil will be gone by the end and the next game will be about dealing with the fallout of that event. But thatā€™s my personal feeling and you asked about my Inquisitors ^^ā€
Nayeli Trevelyan: Being a mage herself she always wanted to know more about magic and the fade, spirits and demons, everything about being a mage. Solas was happy to share his expertise with her and they were fast friends! In trespasser she chose to try to redeem Solas. She wants to save her friend but if the cost of that salvation is too high for thedas to pay she may have to put her personal feelings aside. She wants to help him but more than anything she has to protect the people she loves, her family, the innocent people of thedasā€¦. However I intend to try my best to keep thedas and Solas safe because I donā€™t want my Inquisitor to have to kill her friend/mentor it would devastate her because she firmly believes that she can do it allā€¦.but the reality of the situation might not be kind to her beliefsā€¦
Wren Lavellan: itā€™s Complicatedā„¢ and really Iā€™m not sure so I might be figuring that out as I try to explain how she feels about everythingā€¦.here goesā€¦Wren is my Inquisitor who romanced Solas. Wren loves him and she would have done just about anything for him at one point BUT the break up and two years apart have hardened her heart a bit. Does she still love him? With all of her heart, unconditionally, without a doubt. Does she want to save him? Yes if there is a chance she will take it and stubbornly refuse to give up on that hope. If there is nothing to be done for him, no redemption, what would she be willing to sacrifice in the end? She would readily sacrifice herself to save thedas, she would even sacrifice her heart and fight the man she loves to save innocents, but she would not sacrifice thedas to save Solas. She hopes against hope that it wonā€™t come to that and that he can still be reasoned with but she will do what she must for her people and all people of thedas. She is a healer before anything else and she only wants to help everyone but that may not be possible this time and ā€œsometimes the healer has the bloodiest handsā€ as it wereā€¦and part of a keeperā€™s duty is to protect the elves from the dread wolf. Wren has some hard decisions ahead of her and for my part I just want her to be happy and if I can do that without killing everyone in thedas then I will jump at the chance because I love Wren a lot??
Rosemary Lavellan: has no time to run around trying to save someone already intent on fucking up...again. Rosemary is less connected to Dalish tradition than most seeing as her mother was a city elf who joined clan Lavellan when Rosemary was still a baby. Rosemary has always had two kinds of education in the way elves should be because she grew up mentored by those with two very different perspectives. Unlike most of the Dalish children, Rosemary never thought the stories about the pantheon all that inspiring and in fact Rosemary is more inclined to say that sheā€™s Andrastian like her mother. This is all to say that to her Solas is simply a man like any other and the fact that heā€™s a figure from the stories of her childhood makes no difference to her. Heā€™s a man who made mistakes and already destroyed the world once and sheā€™s not about to let him do it again no matter what. Rosemary got along with Solas in inquisition but upon learning about his plan and the apparent inherent casualties that would result she immediately opposed him. Rosemary is a mother and her entire goal in Inquisition is to keep her son safe, Solas is endangering that safety with his plans and Rosemary refuses to let that happen. If she has to fight another ā€œgodā€ to keep her son (and now Josephine as well) safe she will do so, without hesitation. Thatā€™s something I think Solas knew when he met her in Trespasser, heā€™d never have expected any different from her, sheā€™s only a mother protecting her child from a monster.
Luca Lavellan:  His best friend in the Inquisition (not counting Dorian) is confusingly and surprisingly enough Solas. However, neither Solas or Luca would actually say they were friends. Luca is drawn to the vast knowledge Solas has and Solas is happy to share. Sometimes they debate, and anyone who will listen to Luca talk is someone heā€™ll spend time with. Luca is all too happy to play pranks on Solas with Sera. He also tends to question every opinion or thought the man ever voices which is pretty irritating for Solas at times. But typically the decisions Luca makes are ones that Solas approves of and really they donā€™t disagree on anything too major. They arenā€™t aware of it themselves but they spend a lot of time together just talking about every academic subject under the sun. They would say that they donā€™t particularly like each other though. When Luca told Solas he would redeem him and try to save him it was as much a shock to him as it was to Solas and i imagine they both stared at each other in confusion for a solid minute both trying to figure out if theyā€™d heard Luca correctlyā€¦.but that would have been a much less dramatic scene than the one we were given lol 
Katarina Cadash: two dwarves that have an interest in magic and an elven mage walk into a rotunda- jokes aside thatā€™s essentially why Solas and Kat got along. At first, Katarina was as wary of magic as many dwarves are but after being around mages in the Inquisition she began to trust it. Then she met Dagna, another dwarf who left Orzammar like Kat did, and the two were fast friends (who only blew up a little bit of the ramparts by accident stop being dramatic, Cullen). To Katā€™s surprise Solas was usually happy to discuss whatever she and Dagna were working on and even add some ideas of his own to their work (initially surprising Kat in that he could actually be fun), in fact the three could often be found chatting in the rotunda about magical theory. So Kat and Solas grew to be close friends along with Dagna. After the revelations in Trespasser Kat wanted to try to redeem Solas simply because he was her friend. She also has to believe that even if they work against each other somehow she, Dagna, and Solas can come up with some alternate plan to deal with the veil just by putting their heads together like they used to all that time ago. Katā€™s frustration is that since Solas isnā€™t telling her everything she feels like sheā€™s trying to solve a puzzle with half the pieces but sheā€™s determined to try. However, like my other inquisitors, if it comes down to it sheā€™ll put Thedas first.
Pippa Cadash: she just.....never got along with Solas at all to begin with so deciding not to redeem him wasnā€™t a surprise for either of them tbh (also havenā€™t finished her playthrough so potentially more on her feelings later)
Evander Trevelyan: havenā€™t finished his playthrough but i think heā€™ll redeem Solas...just because Evander is just.....naive i guess? not really naive just...good.... he just wants to believe the best of everyone and he wants to believe that Solas doesnā€™t want to do this and hurt so many people. But again....it would hurt Evanderā€™s kind spirit but if he had to heā€™d choose the safety of Thedas over Solas
Yvainne Adaar: sheā€™ll try to redeem Solas but tbh I need to flesh out her character more before I fully understand why....it will likely stem from the suffering her mother endured in being a saarebas under the qun and the fact that fear of magic as an aberration from the norm is what brought her mother such suffering. Tearing the veil down would bring magic back and maybe then everyone would have to face it as the new normal and mages (especially qunari mages) wouldnā€™t need to suffer anymore. However, as much as she wants to live in a world like that, Yvainne is not willing to sacrifice the lives of innocents to get there and she will try to redeem Solas but if she canā€™t then she wonā€™t hesitate to do what must be done.
Wow that got really lengthy ^^ā€
Thanks for the ask though!! :D
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masterskywalkers Ā· 5 years ago
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Dragon Age!!!!!!
My opinions are likely unpopular with areas of fandom but did we expect any different? Of course not!
The first character I first fell in love with:
Very easily it was Alistair.
I just loved his entire character and felt he was a breath of fresh air in terms of how male characters were presented. I loved how he was written, and just how good he was. Despite what heā€™d been through he didnā€™t brood and he wasnā€™t played off as the comic relief, but rather was a healthy blend of what a character should be. He was allowed to be emotional and hurt but also to smile and laugh and (potentially) fall in love. I really appreciated that at the time and still do to this day, which is why Alistair remains special too me.
The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:
Thereā€™s a few, most notably Anora and Fenris.
Anora is a character that grew on me a lot more as I got older, and I really appreciate her character more now than I did when I first played the game. Sheā€™s unfairly disliked by a majority of the fandom, but Iā€™ll speak more on that later.
Fenris was simply a case of needing a second playthrough to really resonate with his character properly - and thatā€™s solely just because of how I was playing at the time. The second time I'd built more for him headcanon wise and spent more time with him in the party, and I really just came to like the character more because of that. Now he's sort of a necessity for my party lineup if I play Dragon Age 2.
The character everyone else loves that I donā€™t:
Iron Bull. Iā€™ve never made it a secret that I dislike Bull, but I rarely talk about why. It's honestly for a lot of reasons - many which I wonā€™t go into too much detail with unless people ask for it. But basically I donā€™t like how heā€™s written in certain instances to the point that Iā€™m really uncomfortable with some of the dialogue choices used for his romance options. I also strongly dislike how his relationship with Dorian is pushed to be almost canon by the writers (not negating the fact that I find the romance itself problematic at best).
I also donā€™t really like Corypheus (within Inquisition at least) but thatā€™s because I feel he was a weak villain overall as well as being a filler one. But I've made me opinion on how Inquisition's story was delivered very clear before now, so we wonā€™t open that box unless someone asks.
The character I love that everyone else hates:
Anora, for one. Sheā€™s not perfect, donā€™t get me wrong. But sheā€™s not evil, and sheā€™s a damn sight better suited for the throne than Alistair is. I feel like her ambition targets her for a lot of hate, but thereā€™s nothing wrong with a female character being ambitious. Especially given the situation the game puts her in.
Sebastian. A lot of people donā€™t like him, but Iā€™ve always been really interested in his character. Iā€™ve even thought about doing a playthrough with a romanced Hawke for him. Heā€™s just so different compared to the rest of the party, and I donā€™t know if itā€™s because heā€™s a DLC character or because of his heavy religious background that so many people are put off by him.
Iā€™d also like to add Vivienne, who suffers again from the ambitious female character problem this fandom has. Sheā€™s a powerful lady who makes no secret of what she wishes or desires, and that along with her honest attitude towards members of the party makes her a target for hate. But I love her, and she has a caring side underneath her layers, and I wish more people saw what her character was and how strong she is.
The character I used to love but donā€™t any longer:
I can't really think of anyone, honestly. I could say Anders a little bit because I think both him and Justice were written better in Awakening than what they were in 2, but that's me being picky. He's still a character I really like.
The character Iā€™d want to be like:
Probably Inquisition!era Leliana. I always liked her role and how secretive a spy master she really was.
The character Iā€™d slap:
Anders, because of the whole 'blowing up the chantry' deal. But also Solas for being the bad egg.
A pairing that I love:
Buckle in fellow followers, because it's a ride!
Of course my main OTP's include Alistair/Female!Warden, Hawke/Fenris and Hawke/Anders, and Dorian/Male!Inquisitor. But I'm also fond of seeing ...
Morrigan/Male!Warden - I really want to play a world state where Kieran is Male!Warden's son. The idea of that relationship just seems so different and fun from my usual games.
Zevran/Mahariel!Warden - my very first character in Dragon Age (although not my canon) was a female Mahariel who ended up romancing Zevran after Alistair became King and dumped her, so it has a special place in my heart. Another pairing that deserves its own investigating one day.
Sebastian/Female!Hawke - for reasons specified above.
Josephine/Female!Inquisitor - now don't get me wrong! I love this ship with a male Inquisitor too, but I've always wanted to make a female qunari and romance Josephine with her.
Cassandra/Male!Inquisitor, Cullen/Inquisitor, Sera/Dagna, Lavellan!Inquisitor/Abelas, Ameridan/Telana. I'm also rather fond of Nathaniel/Cousland, although that always makes me miss Awakening.
A pairing that I despise:
Iron Bull/Dorian is the big one, as well as Iron Bull/Inquisitor.
Blackwall/Inquisitor too, because Blackwall is not an overly memorable character to me honestly? I also don't particularly feel comfortable with him lying about his identity to someone he loves - and yeah, I know, Solas does the same but at least Solas isn't borrowing another persons persona.
Also? Not a big fan of Alistair/Anora. It's a marriage of convenience, and I don't see any happiness in it - and one thing all my boys have is the desire for me to want to give them some kind of happy ending with their love interests.
Send in a fandom!
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