#what if i said i’m sam irl

[the0o0o]

hello everyone im back from the dead (watching s1-7 of supernatural in a month)

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Houses of the Holy | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader (Eventual ;) )

Warnings: MNDI 18+ ONLY, canon violence, canon gore, SMUT, breast play, cunnilingus, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t do this irl pls and thanks), dirty talk, dom/sub dynamics, clit spanking, descriptions of religious trauma (there’s a lot of talk of the two things you should never talk about in here: religion and politics)

Word Count: 5892

A/N: need i say it again, goodbye, minors!!! Be gone!!! please!!!

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Every twenty or so minutes, you reloaded the FBI’s database you’d managed to tap into. You were getting incredibly anxious about Dean’s presence on their radar following the bank “robbery” the week prior. 

Sam went out to pose as a psychotherapy nurse to interrogate a woman whose personality seemed to have changed overnight after killing a man, claiming an angel led her to do so. You were placed on “Dean duty” after Sam insisted his brother stay here to avoid being seen. You were right on board with that idea, but you needed to stay behind to make sure Dean didn’t go stir crazy and leave stupidly.

A thousand thoughts swirled through your head as you wrote in your journal. 

“When I was on my own, I was a fucking expert at staying away from police,” you wrote. “Now, suddenly, I’m on cases with these two where every time I turn around, a cop is on my ass. I’m not super crazy about that idea. However, I don’t wanna leave them. They’re my best friends, and I know Dean is something more to me. I don’t wanna give that all up just because I’m starting to sweat a bit, y’know? 

“I am not one to shy away from trouble, and I’m loyal. Those are two qualities I’m super proud of,” you continued writing, “I just am worried. And I feel like that’s completely normal. But it’s a different kind of worry. I’ve never had to be concerned about two other people when I’m hunting. This is the first time I’ve had partners who are just as good as I am. And I’ve never cared about my partners this much. And in a way, that sucks.

“And what the hell was I thinking promising Sam that I’d kill him if necessary? Am I out of my fucking mind?? I don’t know what I’d do if Dean hated me. But I’d still rather him hate me than hate himself. I can go it alone again. I really could. I just don’t think I want to.”

You dropped your pen and scrubbed a hand over your face before pulling it through your hair. 

“Sweetheart. C’mere,” Dean groaned from the other end of the room. He was laying on a vibrating motel bed with his headphones in his ears. He’d been obsessively fueling the “Magic Fingers” machine with quarters. 

You headed over to him just as the bed stopped vibrating.

“Damn, that was my last quarter,” he huffed, taking his headphones out of his ears. He seemed not to notice you until that moment. “Oh, hey.” 

You sat on the bed next to him, and he was still laid out in the center of the bed on his back.”Whatcha need?”

“You,” he said, smirking.

You laughed as he pulled on the ends of your— his— shirt, trying to get you to lay on top of him. You happily complied, leaning forward to kiss him. Between kisses, you giggled, “Dee, we already fucked this morning. You’re seriously ready again?”

He hummed against your lips. “Always.”

You rolled your head away from him. “I have sex with you once, and suddenly, you’re insatiable.”

“I can’t help it,” he smirked. “You’re gorgeous.”

You faux-pouted. “That’s it?”

He rolled on top of you and kissed up your neck. “And smart.” He kissed you again, moving to your left cheek. “And badass.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “And sexy.” He kissed your lips. “I hate how much I need you.”

You mocked offense. “Why do you hate it?”

“ ‘Cause I don’t like to need anyone,” he replied. 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I need you, too.” You leaned up to him and pecked his lips before leaning back down on the pillows. “And not just sexually,” you clarified.

He chuckled. “Same here,” he told you earnestly.

You grinned widely, pulling him back down to your lips by the nape of his neck. He eagerly bit your bottom lip before trailing his lips down your neck. He sucked a dark spot on your collarbone, making you tug his hair and moan. He groaned against your skin before hiking the shirt up your body, swirling his tongue around your nipples. Still sensitive from your activities earlier in the morning, your back immediately arched into him and you keened, encouraging him to keep going. He switched to your other breast and chuckled as you continued writhing underneath him. “Wonder if I could make you cum just like this,” he said, looking up at you. 

“Stop teasing, Dean,” you whined, shoving his shoulders down to your pussy.

“Hmm, but it’s so much fun,” he replied. Dean skimmed his fingers down to the band of your underwear, playing with the hem. You sucked in a sharp breath and squirmed beneath him. “Why would I do what you want when this is so much more enjoyable for me,” he chuckled darkly.

“Dean!” you cried out. “Please!”

“Fine,” he responded. The man above you pushed your panties down your legs before dipping his fingers into your cunt. “So wet for me already?”

“Fuck you,” you murmured in embarrassment.

He tsked. “Is that any way to talk to the guy who made you cum three times this morning?”

“It is if he’s being a fucking tease,” you replied, running your nails over his abs just above his V-line.

He groaned at your actions before grabbing your wrist and pinning it next to your head. “Now who’s being a tease?” Dean used one hand to pin your wrist above your head and the other to grab your other. He pinned them above your head, instructing you to keep them there.

He moved back down your body, stopping when he reached your core. He eagerly ate you out like a man starved, and your hands flew to his hair. He immediately stopped. 

“What’d I say?” he asked gruffly.

“Sorry,” you replied sheepishly, grabbing the headboard above you to keep your hands there.

He moved back to your pussy, sucking your clit into his mouth and making you grip the headboard tighter. “Fuck, Dean!” you cried out.

He curled two long fingers inside you, groaning at the slick pooling between your thighs. Your orgasm was quickly approaching as he hit your g-spot with the tips of his fingers and continued harshly sucking your clit, every now and again swirling his tongue around it. 

“Fuck, fuck, please, I’m gonna—” And then he was gone. “What the fuck?” you whined at the feeling of his fingers leaving you.

“You don’t get to come until I say,” he growled. “You understand?”

You nodded eagerly, still white-knuckling the headboard. You spread your legs wide, fully displaying your pussy to him. “Fuck me, Dean.”

His hand came harshly down on your clit. You yelped in surprise.

“You don’t make the demands here, I do.” He spanked your clit one more time for good measure before shoving his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them in earnest, closing your eyes as you licked them clean. Dean groaned at the feeling and freed his fingers from your mouth, gripping your throat as he bent down to kiss you. 

Before you knew it, Dean’s cock was inside you, making you gasp into his mouth. He sheathed himself fully inside you, and you locked your legs around his hips. He rocked into you roughly, each thrust making you come more and more alight. 

“Can I touch you?” you breathed out. “Please?”

“Beg,” he replied, still keeping his thrusts even.

“Dean, please let me touch you. Please, please, I need to touch you,” you groveled through shallow breaths. 

“Hmm…” he smirked, rolling his hips into yours roughly. 

“Dean! Please! Please!” you cried, gasping. “I need to feel you, Dee.”

“Okay, sweetheart, you can,” he said.

You were on him in an instant, one hand in his hair and the other winding around the underside of his shoulders. You kissed your way down his neck and nipped at the base of it, careful not to leave any dark marks; even though you really wanted to. Dean’s pace began to falter as you felt his cock twitching inside you.

“Cum with me,” he instructed you. He reached down to your clit, drawing rough circles, before burying his face in your shoulder. “Cum with me, now, (Y/N).”

You came with a high-pitched moan, your orgasm crashing into you suddenly. Your legs locked around the base of Dean’s spine, keeping him inside you as he came. You moaned again at the feeling of his cum spilling inside you. His thrusts slowed, and he pulled out, causing you to whine at the loss. Dean laid on your bare chest, breathless. 

You took a few minutes to linger in this feeling which you decided was your version of heaven. No monsters, no fighting, no police run-ins— just Dean laying on your chest, breathing in time with you. However, you knew Sam would be coming back any minute now.

“Dean,” you said, trying to wiggle out from under him.

“Hm?”

“We gotta get up, Sam’s gonna be back soon.”

“Who cares.”

“Me!” you squealed as his grip tightened around you. “I don’t really want Sam to see my bare tits!”

He kissed between the valley of your breasts, nuzzling your left one with his cheek. “But I wanna keep lookin’ at ‘em.”

“Dean!”

“Alright, alright.” He finally let go of you, and you pulled your clothes back on. This time, you put your jeans and the shirt you wore before you and Dean fucked for the first time that morning to avoid Sam knowing what had been happening. You headed back over to your laptop, and reloaded the FBI’s database page.

“What is so important over there?” Dean asked, coming over to you. 

You turned your laptop to face him. 

“Seriously? You’re gonna drive yourself crazy lookin’ at that.”

“Well, sorry, but I’m trying to keep you from getting arrested,” you scoffed.

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I know.”

You looked away from your computer and back up to him with big doe eyes.

“Stop fucking looking at me like that,” Dean growled.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Why?”

“ ‘Cause I’m not gonna be able to control myself if you don't,” he replied.

Despite your earlier activities, heat flooded once more between your thighs. “Dean—”

At that moment, Sam burst through the door. “Hey.”

Dean jerked away from you, and you awkwardly returned to the computer in front of you.

“So, did you get in to see that crazy hooker?” Dean questioned, scratching the back of his neck. 

Sam nodded. “Yeah. Gloria Sitnick. And I'm not so sure she's crazy.”

“But she seriously believes that she was... touched by an angel?” Dean questioned.

“Yeah. Blinding light, feelings of spiritual ecstasy, the works. I mean, she's living in a locked ward and she's totally at peace.”

You scoffed. “Definitely completely sane. What about the guy she stabbed?”

“Uh, Carl Gully. She said she killed him because he was evil,” Sam explained. 

“Was he?” Dean asked.

The brunet shrugged. “I don't know. I mean, I couldn't find any dirt on him. I mean, he didn't have a criminal record, he worked at the campus library, had lots of friends. He was a churchgoer.”

Dean paced around, all-business mode. “Hm. So then Gloria's just your standard-issue wacko. I mean, phew, she wouldn't be the first nutjob in history to kill in the name of religion. Know what I mean?”

“No, but she's the second in town to murder because an angel told them to. Little bit odd, don't ya think?” Sam countered.

“Well, little odd, yes, supernatural, maybe. But angels? I don't think so.”

“Agreed,” you chimed in.

“Why not?” Sam asked.

“ ‘Cause angels aren’t real,” you replied.

“(Y/N/N), there's ten times as much lore about angels as there is about anything else we've ever hunted,” the younger brother reminded you.

“Yeah, you know what? There's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they, they ride on silver moonbeams, and they shoot rainbows out of their ass,” Dean grunted.

Sam sat down across from you, deadpanning, “Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?”

“That's cute,” Dean monotoned, “I'm just saying, man, there's just some legends that you just, you file under ‘bullcrap’.”

“And you've got angels on the bullcrap list.”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“ ‘Cause I’ve never seen one,” you chimed in.

Sam furrowed his eyebrows. “So what?”

“So I believe in what I can see,” Dean argued.

“Dean! You and I have seen things that most people couldn't even dream about.”

“Sam,” you started, trying to mollify both brothers. “I think that’s his point. We can actually see that stuff. Hard proof, y’know? We don’t have hard proof of angels.”

“This is a– a demon or a spirit,” Dean continued. “You know, they find people a few fries short of a happy meal, and they trick them into killing these randoms.”

Sam sighed. “Maybe.”

“Can we just— I'm going stir-crazy, guys. Hey, let's go by Gloria's apartment, huh?” Dean begged you and Sam. 

“I was just there. Nothing. No sulfur, no EMF…” Sam trailed off.

“You didn't see any fluffy white wing feathers?” Dean deadpanned.

“But Gloria did say the angel gave her a sign, right beside Carl Gully's doorway,” Sam huffed.

Dean perked up at that notion. “Could be something at his house; it's worth checking out.”

“I don’t love that idea, Dean. Please… stay here, okay? Sam and I can handle it,” you argued.

Dean groaned. “(Y/N), I’m going fucking crazy in here. Please?”

You crossed your arms. “No.”

He went to say something again.

“No. Sam, you’re on Dean duty. I’ll be back in a few hours,” you stated firmly.

“(Y/N)—”

“Dean,” you warned. “I’ll bring you back some beers, okay?”

He huffed. 

“I’ll throw a burger and some quarters in there, too, okay?” 

Dean huffed again, but said nothing in response. 

You tugged your boots on, and Sam tossed the keys to you.

“Not a scratch, (Y/N),” Dean told you firmly.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

***

About two hours later, you returned with a six pack and burgers and fries for the boys. 

“Oh, (Y/N), thank god,” Sam exclaimed when you returned. 

“What, has he been that bad?” you asked. 

“I’m right here, y’know,’ Dean grumbled. “You bring any quarters?”

“Told you I would.” You chucked the roll of quarters and his car keys back at him. 

You put the six pack down on the table and began distributing the food between the brothers.

“Woman, you’re fucking awesome,” Dean groaned as he took a bite of his burger. 

Sam laughed. “So, what’d you find out?”

“Well, Mr. Gully had some pretty dark secrets,” you began. “I found three sets of bones buried under his house. Poor babies were kids from the local college who disappeared about a year ago. And get this; all of ‘em were last seen at the library.”

“Sick bastard,” Dean grunted. 

“So Gloria's angel—” Sam started, only to be cut off by Dean.

“Angel?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Okay. Whatever this thing is…”

“Whatever it is, it's struck again,” Dean jumped back in through a mouthful of food.

“What?” you questioned.

“Dean hasn’t put down the police radio since you left,” Sam told you. “There was this guy, uh, Zach Smith, some local drunk; he went up to a stranger's front door last night, stabbed him in the heart.”

“And then I'm guessing he went to the police and confessed?” you asked.

“Yep. Roma Downey made him do it,” Dean quipped. He took a post-it note off the mirror. “Now, I, uh, got the victim's address.”

“Dean—”

“(Y/N), I am not staying here again. Just this one thing? Please?”

“No, Dee. I’m not taking that risk. You have got to lay low,” you insisted.

“(Y/N), how are you gonna stop me from doing my job?”

“Because if it involves putting yourself at risk, then it’s not happening,” you protested. 

“My whole job is risk,” he argued, stepping closer to you. “There’s just… an added level now.”

“Exactly. Which means we have to be that much more careful. Especially considering we have the feds on our ass. I’m not letting this happen,” you shot back.

“Hate to say it, Dean, I think (Y/N)’s right,” Sam jumped in. “I’ll go check out the vic’s house. (Y/N), stay here.”

“Fine by me,” you said. 

Dean grunted in aggravation, and flopped down on the bed after putting a few quarters in the Magic Fingers machine. You knew he’d probably stay angry with you for the rest of the evening. 

After a few minutes of silence and when the rumbling came to an end, you spoke up again. “Dean,” you sighed. “I’m not trying to be a huge ass, okay? I’d be angry with me, too. But this is just… It’s a lot. And I’m trying to keep you boys as safe as possible. And I wanna help Sam with this case, but I can’t if I’m worried about you not staying put, okay?”

Dean didn’t respond, and you thought for a moment that he’d fallen asleep. At least, that was until you heard him murmur, “Okay.”

*** Sam informed you and Dean that the most recent victim had been planning to meet with a thirteen-year-old girl. Your stomach turned when he told you, and Dean looked like he would’ve kicked the guy to hell and back given the opportunity. Sam also told you that both victims went to the same church called “Our Lady of the Angels.”

“That’s funny,” you’d commented. 

Following last night’s conversation with Dean, you felt more comfortable leaving him to his own devices. And so, it was up to you and Sam to go talk to the priests at said church.

“So you're interested in joining the parish?” the priest, who’d introduced himself as Father Reynolds, asked you.

“Yes, sir,” you replied.

“Where'd you say you lived before?”

“Fremont, Texas,” you said without missing a beat.

“Really? That's a nice town,” Fr. Reynolds noted. “St. Teresa's parish, you must know the priest there.”

“Yes, sir. He’s wonderful,” you nodded.

“You know, we're just happy to be here now, Father,” Sam broke in.

“And we're happy to have you, we could use some young blood around here.”

“Hey, listen, I gotta ask,” you began hesitantly. “No offense, but uh, the neighborhood?”

Fr. Reynolds sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Well, it's gone to seed a little, there's no denying that, but that's why what the church does here is so important. Like I always say, you can expect a miracle, but in the meantime you work your butt off.”

“Yeah, we, uh, heard about the murders,” you acknowledged.

“Yes. The victims were parishioners of mine, I'd known them for years.”

Sam quirked his head to the side. “And the killers said that an angel made them do that?”

“Yes. Misguided souls, to think that God's messenger would appear and incite people to murder. It's tragic,” the priest sighed. 

“So you don't believe in the whole ‘angel’ thing?” you questioned. 

“Oh, no, I absolutely believe,” he chuckled. “Kind of goes with the job description.”

Sam nodded toward the painting on the wall. “Father, that's Michael, right?”

“That's right. The archangel Michael, with the flaming sword. The fighter of demons. Holy force against evil.”

“So they're not really the Hallmark card version that everybody thinks? They're fierce, right? Vigilant?” 

“Well, I like to think of them as more loving than wrathful. But, uh, yes, a lot of Scripture paints angels as God's warriors. ‘An angel of the Lord appeared to them, the glory of the Lord shone down upon them, and they were terrified’,” the priest finished.

You nodded sagely. “Luke two nine.”

The priest seemed surprised you knew that. “Yes, actually.”

You laughed uncomfortably. “My, uh, my mom was a pretty zealous Catholic,” you explained as Fr. Reynolds began leading you out of the door. “She’d quiz me on the bible verses every now and again.”

You could feel Sam’s eyes on you while you began heading down the steps of the church. 

“Well, thank you for speaking with us, Father,” the brunet said. 

“Oh, it's my pleasure. Hope to see you again,” the priest nodded.

You noticed a collection of tribute items at the bottom of the steps; candles, flowers, pictures, and rosaries. “Hey, Father, what's, what’s all that for?”

Fr. Reynolds deflated a bit. “Oh, that's for Father Gregory. He was a priest here.”

“Was?” you questioned.

“He passed away right on these steps. He's interred in the church crypt,” he explained.

“When did this happen?”

“Two months ago. He was shot for his car keys.”

“God, I’m so sorry,” you told him.

“Yeah, me too.” The priest couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from his friend’s memorial. “He was a good friend. I didn't even have time to administer his last rites. But like I said, it's a tough neighborhood. Ever since he died I've been praying my heart out.”

“For what?” Sam asked.

“For deliverance. From the violence and the bloodshed around here. We could use a little divine intervention, I suppose,” he replied.

“Thanks, Father. We’ll see you around sometime,” you nodded solemnly. He headed back inside.

“Well, it's all starting to make sense. Devoted priest dies a violent death? That's vengeful spirit material right there,” you noted.

Sam seemed a bit uncomfortable.

“And he knew all the vics, because they went to church here,” you continued. “In fact I'm willing to bet that because he was their priest, he knew things about them that nobody else knew. Reconciliation and all that jazz.”

“Then again, Father Reynolds started praying for God's help about two months ago, right? Right about the time all this started happening?” Sam countered.

“Sam,” you sighed. “I know you wanna believe, but I’m not really sold on this whole ‘angel’ idea. Why do you seem so convinced?”

“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “But I do know that I pray. Every single day. I have for a long time.”

You startled a bit. “Really? I had no idea.”

“And what about you?” he asked. “What made you stop?”

“Well, like I said, my mom was always a bit of a zealot,” you began. “And… let’s just say I saw how well prayin’ worked out for her.” 

Sam shot you a puppy-dog-eyed look. 

“C’mon, let’s go check out Fr. Gregory’s grave.”

Sam followed you down to the crypt. It was a bit of a maze of stone hallways lined with numerous stone angel statues. You headed a little ahead of Sam deeper into the crypt. You turned back when you noticed Sam wasn’t behind you, and then suddenly felt the ground beneath you shaking.

“Oh, fuck,” you murmured before running to where you thought Sam may be. “Sammy?” you called. “Get the rocksalt out—” You halted momentarily when you noticed Sam’s slumped over form on the ground. “Hey! Sam! Wake up!” you cried, grabbing his face in both your hands. He jerked awake as soon as you touched him. “You okay?!” you asked worriedly.

He looked past you at the angel statue behind you. “Yeah. Yeah. 'm okay.” He seemed a little startled.

You helped him to his feet and led him into the sanctuary. “You saw it, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, (Y/N), I saw an angel,” he said.

“You—” You shook your head, unsure how to approach this situation. “So. What makes you think you saw an, uh, angel?”

“It just, it appeared before me and I just, this feeling washed over me, you know? Like, like peace. Like grace,” he explained.

You swallowed harshly, feeling suddenly unsettled. “Wh—” You laughed uncomfortably.

“I know this is a lot, but I’m telling you, it spoke to me. It knew who I was,” he said.

You shook your head. “Spirits can do that, though, y’know that, right?”

Sam didn’t seem convinced. 

“Okay, let me guess,” you tried. “You were personally chosen to smite some sinner. You've just got to wait for some divine bat signal, is that it?”

“Yeah, actually,” Sam nodded.

“Great. I don't suppose you asked what this alleged bad guy did?”

“Actually I did, (Y/N). And the angel told me. He hasn't done anything. Yet. But he will,” Sam nodded.

You started pacing. “I don’t believe this.”

“(Y/N), the angel hasn’t been wrong yet!” Sam protested. “Someone's going to do something awful, and I can stop it!”

You scoffed. “You’re supposed to do something awful, too. Does that mean I’m just supposed to nuke you right now?”

“Y’know what? I don't understand! Why can't you and Dean even consider the possibility?”

“What, that this is an angel?”

“Yes! Maybe we're hunting an angel here, and we should stop! Maybe this is God's will!”

“Y’know what, Sam, if that’s what you believe, fine,” you sighed. “If faith is what helps you sleep at night and brings you a little peace, then, that’s great and I’m happy for you. But I cannot rationalize worshiping a god who’s gonna condemn me to a pit of fire and suffering for the simple fact of non-belief. I mean, think about it, man. He knows exactly what it would take to get every person to believe, and he still chooses not to show it to us.” You began to pace faster. “And, and? Why would homosexuality be the thing he chooses to put his foot down on? And if you are this great and good god, why is that love wrong? And if people believe in other religions, why does that mean they’re going to hell? What if they’re Buddhist and an exceptional person; they still have to go to hell? Hindu? I don’t fucking get it, Sam. And if my options are going to heaven with all the churchgoers— who are mostly hypocrites and these fuck-os who are abusing kids and murdering on Tuesday after just leaving church the Sunday before, then send me straight on down to hell. I’ll take eternity with actually decent people over these yuppies and troglodytes any day.” You stopped, taking a breath. “I’m sorry.”

Sam seemed shocked. “It’s okay,” he said, despite himself. 

You huffed, scratching the back of your head. “Anyway, I got some hard proof we’re dealing with a spirit.” You led him over to Father Gregory’s grave. It was crawling with mangled vines, and you crouched down in front of it. 

“That looks like—”

You cut Sam off. “Wormwood. Plant associated with the dead; specifically the ones that are not at rest. I don't see it growing anywhere else, except over the murdered priest's marker. It's him, Sam.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged.

“Maybe?”

“I don't know what to think,” he said honestly.

You sighed. “Okay. You want some more proof? I'll give you more proof.”

“How?” Sam asked.

“We'll summon Gregory's spirit,” you responded simply.

“What? Here? In the church?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Just need a few odds and ends and my journal for a séance ritual.”

“Oh, a séance, great. Hope Whoopi's available,” Sam quipped.

You deadpanned at him, “Cute. Seriously. If Father Gregory's spirit is around, a séance will bring him right to us. If it's him, then we'll put him to rest.”

“But if it's an angel, it won't show. Nothin' 'll happen.”

“Exactly,” you nodded. “And then we’ll know for sure. And then I can grovel in front of Michael or Zachariah or Castiel or whichever the hell angel it is and beg for their forgiveness before they smite me.”

“The hell kind of angel’s named Castiel?” Sam’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“Angel of temperance and serenity. Not traditional Catholicism, but I digress. I told you, my mom was a complete Jesus-freak,” you snorted. “Alright, let’s go get my journal. Hopefully Dean’s still there. I swear to god, I’ll send him to hell and back if he’s not.” *** Thankfully for Dean, he was right where you’d left him. He looked bored out of his skull, but he actually listened to you. “Jesus, how fuckin’ long does it take to talk to a priest?” 

“Not right now, Dean. Sam’s a little, uh, possessed? Cursed? Don’t know what the right word is in this situation. Divinely inspired?” you continued.

“What? He saw it?”

Sam nodded.

“We don’t have time to rehash all this. Now, Dean, you comin’ or not?” You turned to the elder brother.

“Wait, you’re letting me out?”

You scoffed. “Dean, you’re not a hostage. C’mon. We could use the help especially now that Sam’s been angel-drugged.”

Dean chuckled. 

“What?” you asked.

“Sam got touched by an angel,” he snickered.

You burst out in laughter, and Sam just deadpanned.

***

Your next stop was a small grocery store that you hoped didn’t have security cameras that would be able to identify Dean. Sam bounded out of the store holding a paper sack and chuckling. “Guys. I'll admit we've gone pretty ghetto with spellwork before, but this takes the cake. I mean, a Spongebob placemat instead of an altar cloth?”

“We'll just put it Spongebob-side down,” Dean shrugged.

Sam’s laughter subsided suddenly as he stared at someone across the street. 

“What is it?” you asked him.

“It’s him,” he replied. “That's the sign!”

“Where?” Dean questioned.

“Right there, right behind that guy! That's him, Dean. And we have to stop him,” Sam pleaded.

Sam started after him, but you and Dean held the giant man back.

“Wait a second,” you stated. 

“What are you doing? Let me go,” Sam grunted.

“You're not going to go kill somebody because a ghost told you to, are you insane?” Dean hissed.

“Dean, I'm not insane, I'm not going to kill him. I'm going to stop him.”

“Define ‘stop’, huh? I mean, what are you going to do?” Dean pressed.

“Dean, please, he's going to hurt someone, you know it.”

“Alright, come on,” Dean said finally. You moved to the other side of the car, and Dean quickly shoved you down into the backseat. 

“Dean. Unlock my door,” Sam commanded, still standing on the sidewalk.

“You're not killing anyone, Sam. (Y/N) and I got this guy, you go do the séance,” he nodded.

“Dean!” Sam called after you, but Dean was already pulling away. He followed the man who’d been holding the yellow flowers down a short distance down the street before the guy stopped in front of a girl. She got in the car with him, and your heart sank as you climbed into the front seat.

“I don’t like where this is going,” you murmured.

“Yeah, me neither.” Dean gripped the wheel tightly and started trailing the blue car again. 

The allegedly evil man soon turned down a dark alley, and you temporarily lost sight of him. Dean cursed, “Dammit!” and slammed the steering wheel in frustration.

“Dean, Dean, follow him, c’mon,” you begged, and he slammed his foot on the gas, turning down the alley he thought he’d seen the man head down. Thankfully, his guess was correct, and you and Dean quickly ran to opposite sides of the man’s car. You could hear the young woman crying and the man shouting at her as you approached. Dean punched the window, and you took that as your opportunity to quickly pull the girl out of the car. 

“Are you okay?” you asked her, grabbing her shoulders.

“Thank god!” she cried, surging forward to hug you.

You called to Dean as the man sped off in his blue car. “Dean! I got her, you follow him! I’ll catch up with you later!”

Dean nodded, sprinting back to the Impala and following the man out of the alley.

“Did he do anything to you?” you asked her.

She shook her head, still crying.

“Do you have any friends nearby? I’ll walk you to ‘em,” you told her. 

The woman nodded. “Yeah, um, my friend—” she hiccuped, “my friend Sarah lives around here.”

“Okay, can you call Sarah? Let her know you’re on your way?”

She nodded again, and you rubbed her back with your hand to soothe her while you started walking toward her friend’s apartment.

You got to know her as you walked to help her calm down and distract her from what had just happened. Her tears slowly subsided, and you seemed to have calmed her down by the time you arrived at her friend’s apartment complex. She hugged you tightly after announcing the two of you had made it. 

“Thank you so much,” she told you. 

“Anytime,” you told her. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

She nodded and headed up the front steps. She turned to you when she reached the door, waving goodbye one last time.

***

You somehow managed to get back to the motel. Surprisingly, Sarah’s apartment hadn’t been too far from it. You only needed to walk about thirty minutes before you stumbled upon it. 

“Hey,” you said as you opened the door to the Winchesters’ room. Both Dean and Sam were packing. “How’s everybody doin?”

Sam looked demoralized. “You were right. It wasn't an angel. It was Gregory. I don't know, guys, I just, uh—” he sat down on the bed. “I wanted to believe… so badly. It's so damn hard to do this, what we do. You're all alone, you know? And there's so much evil out there in the world, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up—”

Dean sat next to him. “Yeah, well, don't worry about that. All right? I'm watching out for you.”

The brunet smiled. “Yeah, I know you are. But you're just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe…” he trailed off.

“Maybe what?” you asked.

“Maybe I could be saved.” He suddenly realized what he admitted and chuckled nervously. “But, uh, you know, that just clouded my judgment, and you're right. I mean, we've gotta go with what we know, with what we can see, with what's right there in front of our own two eyes.”

“Yeah, well, it's funny you say that,” Dean said.

“Why?” you asked.

“Gregory's spirit gave you some pretty good information. That guy in the car was bad news. We barely got there in time.”

“What happened to him?” you questioned.

“He's dead.”

“Did… Did you?” Sam asked.

The older brother shook his head. “No. But I'll tell you one thing. If— The way he died, if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes I never would have believed it. I mean— I don't know what to call it.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “What? Dean, what did you see?” 

“Maybe… God's will.”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld

[bunniandhoney]

Angst | He doesn’t realize what he has until it’s gone, fast-forward he sees her back at the premiere

P.s Just for fun , Idk how he is Irl he is a sweetheart tho

Dear Anon,

How did you know I love angst? 😏

xoxo,

Bunni

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Life’s a Marathon

Jacob takes his best friend for granted.

Y/N found herself in the most awkward predicaments. Never by her own design but certainly by the construction of her best friend Jacob.

“I think i might’ve fucked up” Jacob says looking down at Y/N as she ties her shoes. “I think I’m going to have to agree, neither one of us should be running a marathon this early or really at all.” YN replies with a grim look on her face.

She definitely shouldn’t have agreed to this. She hates sweating and gets her daily exercise from the 25 minute walk from her apartment to her office job. But since she has a burning crush on her best friend she has such a hard time telling Jacob no, actually she’s never fully told Jacob no.

Like that time in Year 10 when he’d ask her to help with his final paper. Even though she was behind on hers and working extra shifts at the cafe she still did his, resulting in her earning a C+ on her paper and an A on his. Or when she told him she just wanted a relaxing night in for her 18th, but Jacob insisted on hitting up every pub in the city. She then spent the last moments of her 18th birthday rubbing Jacob’s back as he emptied his guts in the toilet. This is what best friends do though, they sacrifice, they care, and apparently they run marathons with zero training.

Finally on her feet Jacob pulls her in by her shoulders. “ Quick let’s take a selfie to remember this moment”, with wide grins facing his phone Jacob takes the picture.

“Will all runners please make their way to the starting line” the announcer says.

YN is starting to feel sick. “ You know I can always wait for you at the checkpoints and cheer”

“Yeah but where would the fun be in that? Besides you can’t leave me now, we’re at the starting line.” Dragging her feet YN follows an excited Jacob to the starting line with the rest of the runners.

The sound of the gun signals the runners to start, and they’re off…well Jacob is. YN is already at the back of the pack within 60 seconds of the race starting and her best friend is nowhere to be found.

When she finally finishes the first mile, she’s slightly winded but not awful, the second clearly wears her down though because she’s practically walking. Huffing and puffing she tries to pick her pace back up as she sees the finish line. She sees Jacob at the end cheering for her, or at least that’s what she thinks because her vision seems a little blurry and black dots are spotting her vision. Yn is almost there, almost at the end when everything goes dark.

People are laughing at her. YN can hear it as she comes to; wait is that Jacob laughing at her? Blinking her eyes open she does see him laughing but it’s joined by a woman’s laugh, a very pretty woman now that her vision is clearing up.

“Jac—“ the rasp coming from her voice is unrecognizable, but does the trick because Jacob looks down at her.

“You’re awake!” says the pretty lady on her other side.

“I’m Dr. Sams, I was the medic on the scene when you passed out. Can you tell me your name?”

—

Sitting under a cooling tent with ice packs on most of her body and being forced to chug down gatorade is probably top 5 most embarrassing moments especially since the only other person under there is a 65 year old man who threw out his knee, and said he felt too hot under the medic tent. “It’s alright doll, my first race wasn’t sunshine and rainbows either, " he says with a grin.

“Dr. Sams said you’re clear if you’re ready to go. Should probably take you home to rest.” Jacob says helping YN up. The car ride back to her apartment is dead silent besides the loud tension between Jacob’s guilt and YN's embarrassment. When he pulls into her garage Jacob decides to break the ice. “Look i’m really sorry love, you were right the marathon was not a good idea. I’m sure dehydration was not in your weekend plans.”

A sympathetic smile, the same one she always gives when Jacob screws up, graces her face. “It’s not your fault I’m an adult, and should’ve known that I was feeling way too bad to continue.”

Walking up to YN’s apartment Jacob can’t help but to be apologetic still. Laying YN on the couch and getting her a bottle of water from the fridge Jacob, trying to ease any leftover tension yells, "Well at least something good came from today?”

And honestly nothing is coming to YN’s mind, in fact, today was about as horrible as it could get for her.

She was spontaneously woken up at the crack of dawn.

The “Big Suprise” her best friend/crush for her was a damn marathon

She had to run a marathon

And lastly, she passed out in front of hundreds of people including Jacob. Yeah, there couldn’t possibly be anything good.

“The cute medic that was helping you, well we were chatting so I’m taking her out tonight!”

Mentally adding this to the list of horrible things happening today YN groans, “My head is pounding, what did you say?”

“I’ve got a date with a hot doctor babe!” he yells back gleefully.

YM closes her eyes silently hoping that what’s happening is that she’s in a dream and when she wakes up it’ll be noon, she will just now be getting up, and planning to spend the whole day in a big Tshirt (no pants of course). But when she peeks open one of her eyes she sees her best friend walking back with a glass of orange juice and some painkillers. “ Here you go, Dr. Sams said this might help with any aches or fatigue.”

Nope, not a dream, but a terrible nightmare.

Jacob finally heads out, claiming he needs to prepare for his date, leaving YN alone and feeling incredibly achey. In the 15 years she’s known Jacob he has only had a girlfriend twice.

Once in Year 9, Elizabeth Brown, ended up being on the receiving end of Jacob’s turn of a horrid “Spin the Bottle” game. Elizabeth claimed Jacob was the best kisser in the world and deemed him her boyfriend. Which to her point was very true as YN and Jacob had been practicing for years at that point. Jacob beaming with pride accepted the title for approximately 17 days before he claimed she was way too clingy and broke it off.

The next was years later in university when he dated Sasha Davies for TWO whole years. YN just knew she’d lost him. But Sasha was quite rude and incredibly judgey, so when she found out that Jacob passed up a regular job for acting, she dumped him, leaving YN to pick up the pieces. Since then Jacob had sworn off dating until he was settled in his career as a full time actor, claiming that YN and his mum were the only women he needed in his life.

So why on earth are things changing now! She thought she was all he needed, even if nothing went further than friendship. YN is not near spiteful enough to ruin a relationship, so for now she’ll just sit back and see if anything comes of this one date.

—

Unfortunately, everything comes from one date, because it turns into two and three. Then eventually Yvanne (Dr. Sams) and Jacob are practicing living together in a matter of months. It’s not that Jacob ignores YN, no, he tries to include her in almost everything the couple does. He even tries to do a weekly coffee date with YN just to check in on her, but YN can’t do it. She can’t watch him kiss and hug another woman, buy her odd but sentimental gifts, or even open the bloody car door for someone else. She can’t watch him be in love with anyone else while her heart still craves him.

So she pulls away, just slightly so he doesn’t notice. Her plan is working beautifully since Jacob is enamored with Yvanne. It simply looks as if she wants him to spend more time with his girlfriend. Well, it was working beautifully until Jacob drops an absolute bomb on her during one of their coffee dates.

“You’re going to do what!?!?! “ she screeches in the corner booth, causing too many eyes to look their way.

“Woah calm down. Look I’m going off to shoot the movie and want Yvanne to know I’m serious; that I’m in this for the long haul, for forever.”

“I think there are other ways to show you’re serious than marrying her. For fucks sake J you all haven’t been together a whole year yet!” YN fumes.

“It’ll be a longish engagement, and honestly I thought you’d be happier for me. You’re my best friend in the whole world, I haven’t even told my mum this yet.” He replies diffendently.

Now YN sees it, she sees him slipping away. It’s clear that as always, Jacob has made up his mind and in turn has decided both of their fates for them.

“You’re right, it just caught me by suprise. I’m so happy for you”

“Really”

“Of course, J, you know I just want you to be happy, you’re my best friend.” YN rewards him with a suffering smile.

For three weeks after the news YN goes completely ghost. Every call and text Jacob attempts to make goes unanswered, but she can’t do it. She can’t watch this happen or pretend to be okay, even when she thought she could. Jacob stops by her apartment at the end of week three to check on her since she’d clearly been avoiding him. But when he reaches under the ficus pot outside her apartment door he realizes it’s gone. YN had taken the key and moved it. This officially sends Jacob into a rage because that key was reserved for him, now he’s banging on her door yelling for her to “Let me in because I know you’re in there!”

A puffy-eyed YN opens the door just as Jacob raises his fist again. She’s been crying, she can’t stop, not since the day she left that cafe. “Hey J, what’s going on?”

“You’ve been ignoring me!” he says stepping into her apartment, which is shockingly a mess. She’s always been a bit of a neat freak, cleaning up everyone’s mess all the time. “You’ve been ignoring me, and you’ve been crying.”

“Oh. I’m fin—“

“Please don’t do that shit with me. The pretending, because I know you better than anyone in this world so come off it!”

For some reason this pisses YN off to a degree she’s never known before.

“You don’t know a damn thing about me, Jacob Scipio! How dare you come banging on MY door expecting anything from me, you, you selfish bastard!”

Eyebrows raised in shock Jacob uses his silence as a reply.

With tears starting to roll down her face YN cries, “ I have spent years following behind you, trying to make sure nothing ever inconveniences you. Making sure that Jacob is happy, that he’s in perfect health, that he’s got his lines down packed, and not because I wanted something in return but because I cared for you. Hell, I loved you Jacob. Then you expect me to jump for joy when you want to propose to a girl you’ve known for 9 months! So, no Jacob, you don’t know me!”

“YN, I’m so—“

“Please don’t apologize, just leave, I want to be alone.”

His head hung low Jacob turns to walk back out of her apartment. “Umm, I wanted to give you this. I hope you can make it.” he says sitting an envelope on her coffee table. When Jacob walks out that door YN expects to never see her best friend again and she crumbles to the floor letting the tears wrack through her body.

1 ½ year later —

Jacob would like to say that he couldn’t be happier. At the premier of one of the biggest movies of his life, he should be overjoyed. And don’t get him wrong, he's extremely happy and grateful. He’s a trending topic, he has his amazing cast mates, and his extremely supportive family here with him. But the one person he’s hoped to see is nowhere to be found.

When he’d left that save the date on her coffee table a year and a half ago he knew that wouldn’t solve whatever issues they had, so he had his mother send her an official invitation through the mail three months ago. Even though YN wanted nothing to do with Jacob, their lives couldn’t help but to be intertwined, they’d known each other for over half their lives.

This separation had been hell for him, as he knew it would be as soon as he left her apartment that day. He cut things off with Yvanne two days later, unable to proceed with the engagement. He spent the rest of the time thinking about how right YN was, he was a selfish bastard. Almost her whole life has been spent accommodating him and so he vowed that if he ever got the chance he would do right by his best friend.

But he couldn’t do that because for the past 550 days he hasn’t so much as heard her voice let alone seen her, and while he hopes she would show up tonight for his premiere, he also knows that it’s a long shot; a consequence of hurting the people who love you.

Jacob takes one last look as he walks into the already packed theater. Sitting next to his mom Jacob relaxes into his seat and just before the lights go down he hears a breathless “Sorry I’m late, this LA traffic is awful!”

There she is, on day 551, the only person he cared to see, his very reason for being and she sits next to him filling his lungs with fresh air and her jasmine scented perfume. “You came.”

“Well of course, I couldn’t miss you on the big screen. Plus both of our mothers threatened me.” YN says with a bright smile.

She’s different, they both are, and they can only hope that fate hasn’t given up on them yet.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

thanks again for letting me write this for you, i had so much fun!

IDK, I’m kinda feeling a part 2 in my spirit, so lmk if that something y’all would be interested in!

also thanks for all the love on my other posts, i’m still taking requests so let them free!!!

[angelsdean]

LMAO drunk Sam saying “you’re bossy. And short” while my sister was in the room and she started laughing and turned to me and said “you” as in I’m bossy and short, while I simultaneously turned to her and said “you” as in she’s Sam. PEAK SIBLINGISM. Siblings irl relating to their sibling bafoonery. My sister is also a stubborn little taurus. Anyways, calling your older sibling bossy and short is simply what younger siblings are meant to do (even if they are wrong💜)

[scoobydoodean]

As much as I’m a Sam lover, my biggest gripe with the fandom is when people try to make it seem like it was Dean’s fault for Sam not liking Benny. 😭😭

Because okay, Sam is allowed to be hurt by Amy dying, she saved his life and maybe he feels like he owed her something. HOWEVER, that doesn’t change the fact that she was willingly killing people in an attempts to save her son.

Not only that, but she was intentionally going after people she knew the cops were least likely to investigate (lower class people, addicts, drug dealers, etc.) Which is also another gripe I have, because the fandom tries to play down Amy’s killings with “But she was only killing criminals!” which just REEKS of classism, and I hate to be the person who ties their irl experiences with the show, but as someone who has relatives who struggle/struggled with addiction, it just gives me the ick when people try to justify Amy’s choice of victims.

And then there’s the fact of Amy and Benny are just not comparable companions in my eyes. Sam met Amy when they were both kids, and while he was grateful to her for saving his life, there were no attempts made on either end to keep up some form of communication, which in my opinion was very possible, because we’ve seen the boys regularly keep track of people who otherwise would be considered “off the grid”.

Dean and Benny were together for about a year, solely relying on only each other for at the very least a few weeks before they found Castiel, learning to read the others movements during a fight with other inhabitants of Purgatory, and it was made very clear in the show that the pair of them understood Purgatory and shared a bond like no other character had. Even when it was agreed that they should keep communication limited, Dean STILL made the effort to go after Benny and help him out with his nest + came to his aid after the machete fight, and he refused to leave even after Benny said he was okay.

To me those relationships aren’t even remotely comparable. And again not saying that Sam couldn’t be upset about Amy, but the way he chose to in turn mistrust Benny to the point of almost getting him AND his great granddaughter Elizabeth killed was just 😮‍💨 Especially when Sam is usually all for monster redemption? That’s just something I can never excuse no matter how much I love Sam.

I totally agree.

Benny and Amy are simply not comparable. Sam makes that comparison because he's angry and jealous and he wants to lash out, but in the same conversation, Dean also points at Sam's own inconsistent morals: they just let Kate the werewolf go a few episodes before and now Sam wants Benny dead with no proof of wrong doing—whereas Amy willfully killed people on purpose and pre-meditated. Sam caught her in the act, and she easily admitted she did it and felt absolutely zero remorse.

Benny became a vampire, sought out redemption, went to Purgatory, and came back holding himself to the same principles he did before he died... and honestly, the idea that he and Amy are the same also reminds me of a "once a criminal/addict always a criminal/addict" mindset—even after over 100 years clean. Someone might want to argue that's exactly how Dean thought of Amy in season 7, but I don't actually think Amy's monsterhood has anything to do with her being a supernatural creature for Dean and everything to do with her actions.

Sam compares her to himself and acts like she's an addict who relapsed, but... that simply is not what happened? It's a completely erroneous comparison. Amy didn't kill people because her addiction became too strong and she had to eat. She didn't eat anyone. It wasn't a relapse in any sense of the word. She killed people because her son was sick and needed fresh brains. She decided his life was more valuable than four other people's lives, and she maintained that perspective during and after—going so far as to run from Sam and find someone else to murder within an hour while still being pursued because she was that cold and unrepentant about what she was doing—that utterly remorseless. She slaughtered humans like cattle. And as you pointed out, her choice of targets reeks of classism, whether that's a commentary on her as a person or society and how the trauma and experience of lower income people and addicts and petty criminals tends to be minimized and dismissed as if any terrible fate that befalls them is "deserved" (or both? Both is good).

There's this very weird thing that happens in fandom where Dean is rewritten as this black and white "supernatural creature bad, human good" character and Sam as the "supernatural creatures can always be good" character, when the reality is much different, and actually reveals much more consistency in Dean's perspective than in Sam.

Sam will rewrite Amy's motivations into something so much more sympathetic than what actually happened and will say killing her would be wrong, then in the same season will kill a kid who was born like three days ago and hasn't killed anyone and is his brother's biological child and then lecture Dean about hesitating. And then he will let a pretty, young, blonde college kid go and a few episodes later wants to kill a vampire who saved his brother's life and who hasn't done anything wrong to Sam's knowledge and will look for any excuse to murder him... and the real reason is that he's enraged by the idea of Dean having someone in his life who has never let him down after Sam chose to abandon him and Cas and Kevin. Sam can't stand being reminded of how he failed. Dean's trust in Benny gives Sam deep feelings of shame.

Deep down, what Sam relates to in Amy and defends about her has nothing to do with her Supernatural status or addiction, and everything to do with the fact that Sam too occasionally flirts with the idea of human sacrifice to save the people he loves—which is a fascinating facet of his character... but fanon prefers a nonsense narrative Sam made up in the heat of the moment, refusing to see how Sam completely rewrote events to suit his feelings. Meanwhile, Dean doesn't even think of killing Amy's son for a second even after he tells Dean he'll come back for revenge because him being a supernatural creature does not make him evil and well—wanting to avenge your mom is fair! He protects Benny, and Lenore, and Bobby John, and Andy, and tries to talk Emma down. What he doesn't have sympathy for, is a woman who kills four people because deep down, at least some humans are nothing more than cattle to her—food for her sick boy.

[douglysium]

Episode 12 TMP Quick Thoughts

Housekeeping and Prologue

Hello, this is Douglysium and you might not know me as that guy who wrote over 100 pages of analysis on the Eye (which can be read on Tumblr here (https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/735599414228484097/the-relationships-between-the-dread-powers-the) or Google Docs here (The Relationships Between the Dread Powers: The Eye- Knowledge is Fear and Ignorance is Bliss)) or as that guy who wrote an article on the Extinction (which can be read on Tumblr here(https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/717929126195003392/what-would-avatars-of-the-extinction-be-like-a) and Google Docs here(​What would Avatars of the Extinction be like?: A TMA Speculation)). Suffice to say I might be a bit of a TMA fan. Also, spoilers for TMP up until episode 10. You can read my ramblings on the last episode here (Episode 11 TMP Quick Thoughts).

However, Protocol offers a very unique opportunity and experience for me because I didn’t actually get into TMA until after it was over and I binged all of it. So this is my first time experiencing something even remotely similar to what the original TMA fans probably experienced when waiting for each episode week by week and slowly having to put everything together with the limited information they had. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring since this might be my only chance to do something similar. However, I’m working on some longer form TMA content so I can’t spend as much time on these articles giving a bunch of super detailed thoughts. I will try to keep these short and that inevitably might mean some could have questions about why I think or predict certain things and in those cases I would probably recommend you read at least some of the two articles I mentioned above to get a better idea of where I’m coming from. This also means I won’t be giving you a play-by-play of every single thing that happens in the episode so I encourage you to listen to or read them yourselves and feel free to comment if you feel something is important.

These reviews are probably going to end up focusing mostly on the Entities and their manifestations as they are what I have thought about the most and spent the most time interpreting and there’s been a lot of… interesting theories floating around about how the Entities are manifesting that I want to go over.

Finally, I’m just going to say it right now, spoiler warning for all of The Magnus Archives. I know that Jon and co said one could start with Protocol and be fine, and while that’s probably true, media like this tends to be made in conversation with or take into consideration what came before it in the irl chronology in order to connect them. While I’m sure you could skip The Magnus Archives, I don't really see the point of skipping over it when we are already getting characters from TMA showing up in TMP in Protocol. So to me it’s pretty clear that if we want to understand the full picture of TMP and all the things it is trying to say then we can’t just try to pretend TMA doesn’t exist or scrub it away. Just because you could understand what’s happening without the context in broad strokes doesn’t mean you're getting all the nuances.

These articles are meant to be quick and short so sorry if there’s typos and if I don’t address every possible question or possibility. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this series outside of the prologue so be sure to skim some of my other articles.

Episode 12 “Getting Off”

I think this episode is definitely one of the more straightforward Protocol episodes we have gotten so far, so hopefully this Quick Thoughts won’t br too long (but knowing me I probably just jinxed it).

We take in the scene through a CCTV in the breakroom of the OIAR at night. The transcripts clarify that Celia is very tired and searching through the cupboards for something and it is quickly made apparent that she is looking for tea and, since the break room has run out, Sam gives Celia a teabag from a secret stash that he apparently has. Sam then asks Celia out on a date and while she is busy at the moment she does show that she is willing to go out with Sam on “Saturday, 6? under the clock at Leicester Square. That work? We’ll go for dinner- well, breakfast- you know what I mean.” Once again, we see that the OIAR jobs appear to be very exhausting and have odd work hours. I also wonder what Celia’s end goal is. Does she genuinely like Sam or does she see him as means to an end. Is Celia here to help Sam and co or is she here to harm them?

As Celia leaves, Alice walks in and proceeds to make fun of Sam for clearly being extremely nervous as he asked out Celia. Alice says “(normal again) You know it’s rude to have absolutely no game? Christ, all these years and you still ask people out like a baby foal learning to tapdance.” A reference to the fact that she and Sam dated at some point, and how Sam probably acted very similarly when trying to ask her out. Sam does point out “Look it worked didn’t it?” which seems like it could be a sort of double meaning. Sam’s nervous approach got Celia to agree to a date but also Alice presumably agreed to go out with him in the past too.

Sam apologizes to Alice for dragging her to the ruins of the Institute only to fund nothing… well nothing Sam and Alice know about since something escaped the Institute. Sam says he’s done with Magnus stuff and Alice responds with “So you’re telling me that if I had a case full of emails with the title “Magnus Institute re: Samama Khalid – Massive Conspiracy” you wouldn’t be tempted?” to which Sam says no before asking “You don’t, though. Do you? That was just, like, a joke. Right?” Alice then says “Come on, for now let’s just focus on getting you as jaded and apathetic as possible.” Considering that Alice does appear to be pretty jaded about listening to the cases and piecing them together this could be related to her point about ignoring the talkers and not getting caught up in thinking too much about what’s happening. 

NORRIS starts expositing the next case

“Claim Review: EL-56920 

Policy Holder: Soho Jack’s Ltd. 

Policy Number: 548651-656 

Policy Type: Employers’ Liability 

Site Address: Soho Jack’s, 9 Carlisle St, London W1D 3BK 

Affected Employee: Ms. Jordan Bennett 

Date of Incident: 9 March 2024 

Incident Location: On site. 

Documentation: Crime Report – Submitted 

Medical Practitioner Report – Submitted 

Incident Book Entry – Submitted First Aider’s Report – Submitted 

Supervisor’s incident Report - Submitted 

HSE communications - Submitted 

Health-And-Safety policies - Submitted 

Employment Contract - Submitted 

Claim Valuation: £1,560,000 Assessment 

Conclusion: Claim Denied Reason: Fraudulent claim (see incident description and police report)”

This, along with some information Jordan mentions later, means Jordan is suing Soho Jack’s Ltd. They go on to say that their lawyer has advised them to cooperate with Soho Jack’s insurance claim as a show of good faith, even if they’re planning on “suing your asses to kingdom-come.” They start recounting an event that occurred on the company’s property and apologize for their terrible handwriting (which we later learn is probably because Mr. Bonzo bit off one of their hands).

They go over how they started working at Jack’s in the spring of 2021 after they had finished Flair Academy. After struggling to find a job they managed to get an interview and then job at the aforementioned Jack’s. The club seems to have a good reputation as Jordan refers to it as “the Soho Gentleman’s club.” The company’s building “...has dances on the bottom two floors with VIP suites for hire above with a dedicated bouncer keeping them separate. Really, it’s just a quieter box with a private bar, some comfy chairs and the option of private dancers.” Despite this being “THE” Soho Gentleman’s club Jordan says “It’s always booked up with swank dickheads trying to show off, but Stags are the worst: they’re cheap, they’re loud, they drink too much, tip too little and only ever hire one dance for the groom. Plus there’s always some “nice guy” that won’t shut up about exploitation without even bothering to stop staring.” 

Jordan begins to explain how the party the specific party that led to them wanting to sue Jack’s. They state that this specific party’s lot was not the worst and were “Just a bunch of heavyset, middle-aged lads with names like Ozzer, or Rozzer or whatever. ” and notes that “The groom was fine, acted embarrassed even though he was obviously keen and they were easily pleased. ”

“They started giving the groom gifts. Same old tat as always, cufflinks, poo gags, all the standard stuff. Then the groom spotted the last one on the table, this cheap yellow and purple kids lunch box. It looked old and shoddy and no one admitted to bringing it but the groom just squealed with glee and carefully opened it before pulling out a bunch old souvenir merch. Pencils, postcards, keyrings, all sorts of crap, all the same yellow and purple and last of all a cracked CD case. When they saw it the whole bunch gave this big laughing cheer.” I have talked about how I think Mr. Bonzo is probably tied to The Stranger if we view him through the lens of Smirke’s 14. I will retread some of those reasons later but right now I want to point out that no one admitted to bringing the Bonzo CD. It could simply be that it’s a prank and someone happened to grab an artifact or something tied to Bonzo, and maybe someone from the OIAR even planted it there, but it could also be connected to the idea of The Stranger and the fear of the unknown because it could be that no one actually knows who got that CD.

We also know that The Stranger is no… stranger to dropping off or delivering strange artifacts in order to feed on the fear of people interacting with unknown /mysterious objects. Breekon and Hope’s delivery service are a good example of this (strangers that show up and drop off never before seen or uncanny objects and artifacts).

“I could see which way the wind was turning and sure enough the bestman came over and asked if he could play it. The cover had this awful comic sans title: “Mr. Bonzo’s On His Way” and I wasn't exactly thrilled by this.” Jordan explains that “Mr. Bonzo was way before my time and from what I had seen online he had always looked pretty messed up. But hey, it was their night, if they wanted to spend it on some cringy nostalgia trip, who was I to say no?” Which could mean that Jordan doesn’t know a lot about Mr. Bonzo, and lack of familiarity with something is one of the things that we know entities like The Stranger love to prey on.

“This kind of thing happened often enough that we kept a battered old CD Player in the back that we could patch into the room's speakers, just in case. So, I ducked back there, put it on, turned the volume down as low as I could get away with, and prayed it wasn’t too obnoxious. Immediately the cheering children’s voices blared out the speakers accompanied by bouncy tubas loud enough to drown out the rest of the club’s music. It was awful but I could hear the lads stamping the floor in rhythm and as the kids started singing the men were singing along: “Mr. Bonzo’s on his way, he wants to stay, he wants to play! Mr. Bonzo’s on his way, he wants to stay, he wants to play!” If you want to listen to the song Jordan is referring to it is actually available on Youtube: Mr Bonzo (from 'The Magnus Protocol'). Maybe you can put yourself in the shoes of an annoyed Jordan or ecstatic old man at the club.

Jordan clearly finds the song annoying and after waiting a minute, in order to avoid being a “total killjoy,” they decide to turn off the song before “ Derek came down from the office to “have a word.” I assume Jordan meant Derek would complain about the music. However, when Jordan turns the CD player off it “...just grew louder, rattling the glassware in the bar: “Mr. Bonzo’s on his way, he wants to stay, he wants to play!” I even yanked the cables from the speakers, but it just kept getting louder.” Obviously, something supernatural is going on but Jordan reasonably assumes that the player just broke and begins to reach for their walkie talkie in order to call for some tech support. However, as they do so they are interrupted by a massive crash coming from another part of the room followed by a cheer. Jordan gets ready to reprimand the party goers for whatever mess they might have made but instead sees Mr. Bonzo. “It was hunched in the doorway, a bulbous figure with a purple hat that cast crazed shadows in all directions thanks to the club’s lighting effects. Then it doffed its hat and pushed itself into the room, foam catching on the doorframe with a squeak that set my teeth on edge. Its massive bulbous google-eyes seemed to roam all over the room before settling on the groom and it was almost as if the huge toothy grin grew wider when it saw him.” We know that Gwen delivered a name and address to Bonzo and in the previous episode Lena even tells Gwen “I’m sure you’ve already worked that out. But just in case you haven’t, keep an eye on the case loads over the next few days. It should become abundantly clear.” Implying that this could be the case Lena was alluding to or that the groom (or someone else in the room) is Bonzo’s target (but it’s almost definitely the groom).

Everyone in the room assumes the appearance of Bonzo is some sort of gift or prank and “The rugby boys were tripping over themselves to get in and hug it, laughing and pushing the groom to the front and so I figured at that point it was a prank. Again, none of them took credit for it and there was a moment of genuine hesitation, until one of them yelled out “It's ya lapdance, Baz!” and they all fell about laughing.” Jordan is furious that a coworker named Joey presumably let Bonzo in and the idea that Joey might have bailed on Jordan again by “ducking out for a smoke.” But as Jordan moves forward they notice something- “I began to stride over, readying for the inevitable complaints then hesitated as I saw something far more unnerving than the ugly costume that was capering with the groom in the middle of the group. There was a pair of heavy boots on their side, poking just inside the still open doorway. Joey’s boots, and they weren't moving. Just then the google eyes looked turned to me, and a puffy finger raised cheekily to its mouth.” So Joey was killed by Bonzo and all the while “the men had all started chanting “Bonzo! Bonzo! Bonzo”, stamping their feet and banging the tables in a circle around the pair in the center…” and the music kept getting louder. So loud that it began to sound distorted from the strain the song was putting on the speakers.

Out of all the Entities the Slaughter seems to have a pretty strong connection to music but The Stranger also has a strong precedent for music. For example, The Calliope in TMA is an artifact tied to The Stranger. In MAG 024 (Strange Music) it is mentioned that the instrument has "Be still, for there is strange music" carved into the cover of the keyboard. While The Slaughter’s connection to music is probably due to an association between rhythm and war (think the marching of an army or the phrase “drums of war”) as well as the fear of “violent” music, The Stranger’s connection to music seems to come from the idea of either strange unknown sounds or a song / sound that sounds really uncanny. It is noted by Jordan that Mr. Bonzo’s song grows louder and more distorted overtime which would mean that the song is becoming more and more incomprehensible as it would slowly change into a song with lyrics you couldn’t understand or identify as easily. It could also be that the song sounds uncanny in the sense that it is familiar in some ways but something is off about it.

Jordan tries to call for help on his walkie talkie but can only hear Mr. Bonzo’s theme blaring out of its tiny speaker. Jordan tries to warn everyone and get out but no one can hear him over the music. Bonzo takes the groom and begins to “dance” with him by spinning around faster and faster until Bonzo decides to rip his arms off and even as this act of gorey brutality took place the other party goers present continued to laugh and laugh until Jordan’s scream caused them to realize this wasn’t some sort of prank. Almost everyone begins to yell in terror but some yelled in rage and proceeded to attack Bonzo: “A few of the bigger guys picked up chairs or bottles and began to beat and slash at the thing. It didn’t seem to notice, its bulbous, bloodshot, eyes staying fixed on the groom’s body as it raised it overhead.” Bonzo then proceeds to continue pulverizing the body by smashing it against the ground over and over.

“For a split second, all was still but the music just pounded on, barely recognizable now over the distortion from the smoking speakers as those voices, no longer childlike, still chanted the words “He’s here to stay… He wants to play…”” “Then Mr. Bonzo turned towards us with its head bowed almost reverentially and everybody went silent. Slowly, awfully slowly, it raised its head, titling it coquettishly to one side. Then the seams across its face split revealing its gaping maw filled with even larger, sharper teeth.” Jordan admits that they don’t remember much about what happened after that but “I dream about it most nights. In the dream it digs through all those men to get to me, grabbing fistfuls of them and throwing them to smash against the wall. The strobe fires as its hands plunge into the pile of us and each flash shows a little less flesh between me and it, between me and all those teeth… finally everyone else is gone. I raise my arm to protect myself and it gently but inexorably lifts it into its mouth, smiles and bites… None of us was left whole but I was the luckiest. All I lost was a hand, it wasn’t even my dominant one.” The biting was set up previously in episode 10 when the transcripts mention “Gwen holds out the envelope and Mr Bonzo snatches it into his mouth, audibly chewing it. His teeth are not soft.”

Jordan says that they “told the investigators everything I know, doctors too. I don't know why nobody outside the room heard or saw anything, why the cameras weren't working, why it let me live. But I do know why there weren't any bodies. All I actually want is my hand back so I can tend bar but that isn’t going to happen is it? So I’ll have to settle for the next best thing and sue you for everything I can get, because I don’t know what happened that night but it was in your venue and no one came to help. Not Derek, not another doorman, no one. So yeah, you’d better have one hell of a settlement waiting for me, or I'll see you in court.”

While you could make an argument for themes of Entities like The Desolation, Flesh, Hunt, etc. I’m still going to primarily argue for Bonzo being tied to The Stranger or a similar Entity due to what we see in his previous appearances. For the sake of clarity, if there is any debate about what The Stranger embodies in MAG 200 it is stated “And as they learned to know their friends and kin, so too did they learn to fear the unknown figure, the coming of the stranger” and in MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” while in MAG 111 (Family Business) Jon says “The Stranger is the unknown. The uncanny.” and Gerard doesn’t correct him.

However, a lot of Mr. Bonzo’s behaviours in previous episodes resembles The Stranger (and The Stranger has violently attacked or killed people in the past). Mr. Bonzo is also described as being a clown. Something we know The Stranger has a precedent for manifesting as, probably due to both the idea of the uncanny valley being achieved with a costume or makeup and the idea of a traveling circus full of strangers you don’t know from out of town in addition to a clown costume acting as a disguise that can obscure whoever is wearing it. Not to mention that Mr. Bonzo is described as a suit, which could very easily connect to an Entity like The Stranger. Firstly, The Stranger tends to have a big emphasis on wearing things like skins and suits. Additionally, Gwen mentions in episode 11 “That… abomination wasn’t a costume. That was skin. It was sagging, it was sweaty!” and we know The Stranger has a tendency for wearing skin, skinning things (such as with taxidermy), etc. as a form of disguise, in order to hide itself, or to metaphorically rob something of their identity.

This also applies to costumes in general since usually wearing costumes or disguises can actually obscure who is wearing them and thus their true identity is unknown. There’s also the fact that costumes themselves can easily fall into the uncanny valley. Ever since Five Nights at Freddy’s became popular there’s been an uptick in horror media focusing on how creepy and uncanny things like animatronic suits can be. Not that Mr. Bonzo is an animatronic but it is a suit. Also, Bonzo apparently has hard teeth and having solid teeth on a suit could look uncanny.

The surprise gift and sudden appearance of Bonzo that others assume is some sort of surprise or prank could also tie into The Stranger and the idea of something mysteriously appearing or not being expected. Bonzo was originally made to prank celebrities. As Nigel explains in episode 10 that his produce ““inviting a famous person on, someone really serious, and we tell them we’re going to have them do a segment with a popular children’s entertainer. Now, obviously these folks won’t have any idea about what kids are actually watching, so we could come up with the most horrendous thing, claim kids loved it and see how long it took for the guest to realize that they were the joke. That they’d been “berried”” and “The problem with a surprise prank is that doing it on Saturday night primetime means pretty soon everyone knows about it, and the guests knew it was coming. A couple even requested it. So the prank part of it sort of died, and he just became an SOS mascot. One of my many tormentors in the dungeon. By the end we’d even retired Mr. Six, and it was all Bonzo.” Once again, a focus on surprise and I think it’s interesting that Bonzo loses his punch the more people know about and understand him. Bonzo is a character that thrived specifically on the guests not knowing who he was and did. So a potential relationship with the unknown again.”

In episode 10 Nigel says to Gwen ““Try not to stare. He doesn’t like it when people stare.” Which could relate to The Stranger. While all the Entities are connected, overlap, and need each other for a ritual bringing them into the world to work, with even seemingly opposing Entities bleeding into each other or having overlapping fears, The Stranger can often have an antagonistic relationship with The Eye and forms of being known. The Stranger tends to thrive off the fear of being unknown so staring at something aligned with The Stranger might make it react negatively. In MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” In MAG 165 (Revolutions) Not-Sasha says this in regards to The Eye’s Post-Change world “Do you know how it feels? To be – anonymous? And yet known! To have all the sweetest dread I can create tainted by the relentless gaze of that damned Eye. I’ve suffered enough.” So if my theory that Bonzo is tied to something like The Stranger is correct, that could explain a potentially negative reaction to being looked at for too long since aspects of The Stranger often don’t like it when people try to figure out what they are. This could ring extra true if it does turn out that the OIAR is somehow connected to The Eye.

Bonzo’s eating and biting could potentially be linked to The Stranger’s tendency for odd uncanny behavior, like that time Breekon / Hope ate a butterfly. The fact that this monster looks like Bonzo could also be related to the idea of the uncanny, since he would resemble Bonzo but behave and look a bit off. Also, it seems hard to tell if Bonzo is a costume or a monster resembling a costume which makes it harder to know what he is for sure, and The Stranger loves playing up mystery (think how we never know which character is Breekon and which character is Hope from Breekon and Hope in TMA, and Jon describes one of them as “one half of Breekon and Hope”). Also, Bonzo can only say his name which means you never really know what he’s saying or talking about.

Bonzo killing everyone in the room but leaving someone alive is not a completely unheard of idea. The Entities in general often seem to leave witnesses if in doing so more fear is generated and we see creatures like the Not-Them kill and replace people while ensuring that at least one person remembers what the original persona actually looked like even if no one else does. The reason for this is because if the Not-Them’s disguise was perfect and changed every bit of memory and evidence then there wouldn’t be anyone to be afraid of the idea that someone they know has been replaced by a stranger.

Jordan mentions “I don't know why nobody outside the room heard or saw anything, why the cameras weren't working, why it let me live. But I do know why there weren't any bodies.” which emphasizes his confusion about what’s happening. While confusion is often tied to The Spiral, in this case it stems from a bunch of unknown factors and variables, like why there were no other witnesses and why the cameras weren’t working.” As far as there being no witnesses and the cameras failing to work, the Entities are known for usually being on the downlow and not common knowledge but Entities like The Stranger tend to thrive off the fear of mystery and have a precedent for things like mysterious disappearances or hiding people / things. The Calliope I mentioned earlier mysteriously disappeared from the Institute’s archives at some point in TMA and in MAG 092 (Nothing Beside Remains) Jonah tells Jon “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.” Jonah specifically mentions that The Stranger has a connection to “the hidden” among other things. In MAG 102 (Nesting Instinct) Jonah even says that The Stranger essentially hid Jon from him when saying “I was doing everything in my power to locate you. Everyone was working on finding the ritual site.” and “[Irritated] I am sorry, John, that my powers have not yet reached the level of omniscience.” Jordan does say that they know why there weren’t any bodies which implies that Mr. Bonzo probably ate them.

Jordan having trouble remembering exactly what happened actually does have a precedent with The Stranger since the Entity does have connections to memory loss or a loss of identity. In MAG 165 (Revolutions) we see Not-Sasha watch over a Domain that takes the form of a merry-go-round with people fighting over faces. People with no faces must fight over the faces of others to rip them off and regain some sense of identity. When they lose their face it is said “And soon enough they will forget they ever even had one, rest assured; it’s best to step the dance and keep your face secured as much as you are able. Just. Keep. Running.” Jon and co also face memory loss when they interrupt The Stranger’ ritual in TMA and forget who they are and what they are doing for a period of time.

Some other Entities this statement parallels are that of The Slaughter (with sudden brutal and gory violence), The Flesh (via bodily disfigurement by way of losing a hand, Bonzo being described as releasing “some vile mixture of putrid water, rotten foam and rancid meat.” when cut at some point, and Bonzo biting into people), The End (a lot of people brutally die), The Corruption (from the aforementioned vile mixture pouring out of Bonzo), and even The Eye (with the strange and horrifying dreams Jordan is forced to relive over and over resembling how people who give Jon live statements are forced to relive said moments in the form of nightmares over and over). Like always, I have to at least touch on the fact that The Eye doesn’t seem to just be the fear of being watched but also being a witness to something you don’t want to see. Jon can force people to recount and relive terrible moments, Jonah can force information into the heads of people like Melanie and Martin, and in MAG 200 The Eye is stated to have been born from the fear of one’s own eyes showing them too much.

All this being said, I still think the OIAR is somehow connected to The Eye. There’s the cases being like statements but also the fact that they supply sensitive information (such as names and locations) to things like Mr. Bonzo. People like Jonah could almost always know one’s location thanks to their Eye powers and The Eye is connected to the fear of someone / something knowing too much about you (such as knowing where and who you are). I wonder why Bonzo was sent to kill this particular groom when he was just partying? Did the groom know something or overstep some line or was the groom just some sort of offering to appease Mr. Bonzo? How was this person’s name and address obtained? Was it just mundane tracking or something closer to Jonah’s clairvoyance? Nigel acted like he was doing the OIAR a favor so right now it seems like this was a target decided by the OIAR and not necessarily Nigel. Unless you want to argue that the “favor” is aiding in keeping Bonzo pacified, under wraps, or something potentially more mutually beneficial. I wonder if Jordan’s dreams are somehow connected to being directly involved in a case or facing an External of the OIAR? It could also simply be that Jordan is traumatized.

We cut to Gwen and the transcripts say she “is sat at her desk, stunned by what she has just heard.” and she only says “Jesus Christ…” I wonder if this is because the case is unusually brutal or gorey when compared to most others or if she realized there’s a connection between the letter she delivered and what happens in this case. Considering what Lena said it's very possible that some of the cases the OIAR gets are connected to the activity of their own Externals (such as Mr. Bonzo).

ALICE CONT. 

“Gwen? Hello?”

GWEN 

“(dazed) What?”

Getting sucked into a statement like this and statements having a negative impact on one’s mental state are both things we have seen in TMA. Jon had a hard time stopping once he started a statement and at one point Jon expresses worry that Martin was listening to a bunch of statements for Peter Lukas and his plan in regards to The Extinction. Although, it could be that Gwen is merely shocked.

Gwen explains that she met one of the Externals but Alice seems to think Gwen is just referring to some annoying assholes as opposed to any supernatural monsters that takes the form of beloved childhood characters.

Gwen seems to finally wonder the question that I’ve been wondering for a while now:

GWEN 

“What do you think we’re actually doing, here at the O.I.A.R.?” 

ALICE 

“Apart from mortgaging our mental health for a wage packet?” 

GWEN 

“We’ve both been here long enough to know this place. We’re not doing good. We’re not just sifting random data. There’s something wrong here.”

ALICE 

“What are you getting at?”

GWEN 

“You never wonder what the point is? Who benefits from all this awfulness?”

ALICE 

“I don’t wonder. I know.”

GWEN 

(sitting up) “What? Really?”

ALICE 

“(portentous) Oh yeah. I’ve known for a while. What we’re doing here, it’s all part of a grand plan to satisfy one of the most unspeakable evils known to mankind... “

Gwen’s on the edge of her seat. 

ALICE 

“(almost a whisper) …the UK government.”

In TMA the point of the Institute sifting through statements and stuff was twofold. Firstly, to feed The Eye but also to set up the lynchpin for The Eye’s ritual with the position of the Archivist. I wonder if something similar is going on here but I can’t say since while you could argue that being an Externals Liaison is like the Archivist and shares the role as being a “living chronicle of fear” (especially since Lena remarked that Gwen should show fear via screaming because Externals tend to like that) Gwen had to blackmail her way into that position. I have no idea who was the Externals Liaison before her or if there are other Liaisons, if there even was one(s) before / with Gwen at all. Also, unlike the Institute, the OIAR is explicitly connected to the government and is meant to respond to things (not just watch). So it’s very likely that the OIAR has a role that is different from just “The Mass Ritual / Institute 2.0.” They could still be gathering fear related to the statements and being observed like the Institute in TMA though. However, even the Institute still wanted the Archival staff to do a good job following up statements and stuff. Jon tries to reorganize the Archives after Gertrude purposefully left them disorganized and Tim corrects Jon about some errors he made when reading some statements. The OIAR doesn’t really seem to care how well or poorly their workers categorize the cases and I don’t know if anyone checks.

Alice’s joke about the greatest evil known to mankind being the UK government feels like foreshadowing considering that the OIAR, and by extension all the Externals like Bonzo, are connected to the government.

Alice’s comment “Apart from mortgaging our mental health for a wage packet?” references how stressful this job seems to be.

Conclusion

Yeah, idk. This was a very simple episode overall and it mostly just seemed like it was following up Lena’s point about paying attention to the caseload.

Okay, hold on, before I end this I figured I should actually try to look at the voices in the computer system a bit more closely, since quite frankly, like with the alchemy symbols, I’ve admittedly been neglecting them and not focusing on them as much as I should have. This is because I actually couldn’t tell if there was any kind of correlation between the voices and the kinds of cases they read but a video by Maddie’s Maxis called “This Channel's First Video - The Magnus Protocol Analysis and Theories” (which you can view here This Channel's First Video - The Magnus Protocol Analysis and Theories) hypothesizes that there is actually a correlation. As we all know two of the computer voices sound like Martin and Jon and Maddie argues that the kinds of statements the voices read correspond to something that had to do with the character. For example, in theory NORRIS (Martin’s voice) tends to have statements relating to self-loathing and loneliness. I don’t know what they are feeding Maddie but Maddie is potentially cooking here. So I decided to glance over at some of the statements and see if there are any patterns.

I’m going to start with the theme that seems the most concrete in my opinion. The cases that NORRIS (Martin’s voice) reads seem to often be tied to themes of isolation, losing loved ones, or feeling abandoned. I should make it clear that while I know Martin in TMA is connected to The Lonely I am not saying all the cases NORRIS reads are connected to The Lonely. The mere presence of feeling alone or isolated doesn’t automatically make a statement Lonely related in the same way someone dying, getting attacked, or something taking place at night or in darkness automatically means End, Slaughter, or Dark respectively. Also, it’s important to remember that every Entity, even seemingly opposing ones, have overlap, shared fears, commonalities, etc..

But let’s look at the cases to see if this pattern is really there. The case NORRIS covers in episode 1 involves the Anglerfish, or something resembling it, killing and replacing their romantic partner. Harriet even says “And that voice I have loved for twenty years answered: “Some of him.”” So loss of a loved one.

In episode 3 NORRIS covers a case in which Dr. Samuel seems to feel immense guilt and sorrow about the death of Maddie. Once again, the loss of a close loved one.

In episode 8 NORRIS goes over a report Terrance submits about the effects of brutal liminalism. While no one dies or is replaced in the actual events of the case, Terrance does mention “originally took my role as a night janitor at Forton following a protracted divorce which cost me the majority of my friendships.” So while their partner isn’t dead they did lose a loved one, and if you read my thoughts on that episode you know that I actually think the case has a lot of similarities with The Lonely. The fog, the vaguely familiar but impossible to understand gibberish, people with repeating features, being isolated in a dark void, etc.. Even if you disagree that it’s The Lonely there is still a connection to themes of losing someone close and being alone.

If there was an episode to disprove this theory it would probably be episode 12 since it’s just Bonzo murdering a room full of people. Jordan does say “I don't know why nobody outside the room heard or saw anything” and earlier in the case they mention that they believed their coworker by the name of Joey the doorman might have ditched him again but this definitely feels a bit more like a stretch. Jordan does seem to blame the establishment for what happened and this is because from the perspective of Jordan no one came to help despite how obvious and loud the commotion was. Which could maybe tie into the idea of being abandoned or left alone but this is definitely pushin it and it’s clear that our understanding of what kinds of cases each voice reads might expand as the series goes on.

Maddie argues that CHESTER (Jonathon’s voice) seems to usually cover cases related directly to the Magnus Institute. Which is generally true, CHESTER covers the cases of RedCanary spelunking in the Institute’s ruins in episode 1, and the gambling dice being submitted to the Institute in episode 9 for example. But CHESTER also covers the case about Tom wanting to watch Voyeur in episode 5, the case regarding Hilltop Center in episode 7, Gordon’s encounter with the tattoos and Ink5 during construction in episode 11. It’s very possible that these are just related to the Institute in ways we don’t understand yet, for example some of the characters that appear could be members of the Institute or something, but in my opinion this definitely throws a wrench into some things.

CHESTER seems to have a stronger case for a theme of curiosity and a desire to know in general as opposed to just the Magnus Institute. RedCanary investigates the archives out of curiosity, Tom really wants to see the Voyeur movie for their blog, the narrator explains that they experimented with the gambling dice to figure out how they worked, and Gordon keeps talking about how they “just need to see it. I need to know what’s in the water.” As I’ve mentioned previously, The Eye also has a major emphasis on a desire to know and understand something even if it comes at the cost of yourself and / or other people. Hilltop Center still seems like a bit of an outlier here but while Dianne isn’t spelunking through ruins or anything she does mention that she was looking for people to help her work at the center. Which, while a bit of a stretch, could fit with a theme of curiosity or desire to know in the case of Chester. Or at least the idea of something being searched for as a theme at least. 

If you wanted to argue that CHESTER actually related to things being looked for you could say that the case about the gambling dice revolves around the narrator giving the Institute artifacts, and they even say “So yeah, I tell you all about them, how I got them, all that crap and you just… You take them away, right? You accept them? Good. I think. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. It’s how it worked for me, at least. Put them in whatever vault you like, bury them, drop them in the ocean, for all I care. All that matters is that they’re yours now.” So you could say that the Institute was looking for artifacts. You could also argue that the narrator was looking for people to roll the dice, looking for good luck, or started making their way towards Gary when they found him.

AUGUSTUS has a voice I am not familiar with (and we will get to the popular theory in a moment). I can only recall AUGUSTUS voicing one case, I might be forgetting one or something, so I don’t have a lot to go on. AUGUSTUS could be covering really old statements, as Sam notes the one in episode 4 is from the 18th century, or statements revolving around others climbing their way to their top and doing whatever it takes to do so. It’s kind of unclear until I can see some more AUGUSTUS statements.

There’s also some obvious character associations with this theory. Martin, someone connected to The Lonely, has statements reflecting some kind of isolation or abandonment, Jon, the Archivist with a strong tie to The Eye and someone who was strung along while trying to solve Jonah’s plan and learn the truth about the Entities, has statements involving extreme curiosity or people looking for things, and Jonah, someone who is really old and ruthless (so ruthless that they made the world a fear hellscape in an attempt to avoid death), has had a statement taking place in the 18th century involving someone giving a blood sacrifice to play violin super well.

There’s a popular theory going around that the three voices in the computers are actually Jonathon, Martin, and Jonah, and this definitely seems like one of the more credible theories floating around the community to a degree. AUGUSTUS’ unfamiliar voice could be the voice of Jonah’s original body. Jon, Martin, and Jonah were all in the panopticon when the Change ended which could be the event that got them tied to the computers. It could also have to do with being the pupil of the Eye somehow. Jonah and Jon were both the Eye’s pupil at some point and Jon got his position by killing Jonah to take his spot. It’s possible something weird happened like Martin was about to become the Eye’s pupil after removing Jon from the position, giving them this common link, but I can’t say for sure.

Maddie also points out another big thing to remember in the video. I have mentioned that Annabelle seems generally right about what happens to the Entities’ various Monsters and Avatars after the Entities get pulled into the next universe. Monsters, like potentially the Anglerfish, presumably get sucked into the new universe since they are part of the Entities. Other people may or may not get sucked into the universe depending on how attached they were to the Entity. It’s also possible that they will always just be left behind. However, Annabelle also mentions that it’s possible the Entities will take the aspects of a person that are connected to or are a part of the Entity. So, it’s possible that the parts of Jon, Martin, and Jonah in the computer are not them in their entirety but merely specific aspects of their personality or being. It could literally just be their voices taken by one or more Entities for all we know.

We also know that some Entities, like The End, seem capable of making copies or “memories” of people after / when they die. In MAG 154 (Bloody Mary) Eric states “I know that I’m not really Eric; I’m just a memory someone wrote down. It hurts, most of the time. I don’t like it.” So one could argue that the voices in the computers are not the fully sentient original versions of Jon, Martin, and Jonah but “memories” or copies created by one or more Entities. This could also explain why the third voice might be Jonah even though Jonah potentially died before the Entities jumped universes. This voice could simply be The Eye’s metaphorical recollection of Jonah or Jonah wasn’t completely dead when the Entities switched universes. This also means that the voices in the computers could be more malicious than we first assume if there’s a chance they are in actuality not Jon, Martin, and Jonah or are in truth aspects of The Eye or bits of their personalities trying to achieve a specific goal.

As I’ve mentioned previously, the cases the voices read out don’t seem to be completely random. The second Sam is about to give up his search for the Magnus Institute CHESTER spits out a case that is perfect for reigniting his curiosity with the addition of a new clue, and when Celia takes the job the first case she gets is about Hilltop Center (which could relate to Celia’s questions about multiversal and time travel). I still can’t say if the CHESTER or any other of the computers are trying to help Sam or use him for more nefarious purposes.

I’m not super confident about this being the patterns the computers follow at the moment because frankly there isn’t a lot of cases to go off of, and I need to see more AUGUSTUS. It’s also possible that the cases are more variable or context dependant. What the voices read could depend on the person at the computer, for example: it’s possible CHESTER reads a bunch of cases connected to the Institute because that’s what Sam was most interested in. There are also some cases we don’t have enough context behind yet, for example the mysterious figure in the Hilltop Road case could be connected to something like the Institute in some way, or that some of the voices focus on certain Externals Liaisons, people, etc..

If you want another TMAGP theory video to watch here’s one by Pinkelotje: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX51EHLy7BQ&ab_channel=pinkelotje.

[sirenascelestiales]

I watched SATC for the first time ever

I have THOUGHTS. No one needs to know my thoughts but I have written them out anyway. Overall, I'd say an 7/10 show.

Ok, so I've seen all 6 seasons now (none of the movies or the reboot/sequel series). I watched September through November 2024. I knew only a few things about the show:

Lauded as a great show about female friendship and every woman can/should be able to identify with one of the friends

No way can a columnist actually afford to live the way Carrie does, suspend your disbelief for that

One of the women goes through cancer and another or maybe the same one has a child after issues conceiving (IDK why this is what I knew but it was!)

SJP and KC hate each other bc of this show, after filming this show, since the beginning of this show or something, point is NOT besties IRL?

Ok general thoughts.

It aged both well and not very well. I like it overall, hence a positive 'rating' but there were scenes where I cringed and just stared and to like pause to think about what they just had said.

Seeing as it came out in 1998, I understand that it was rather revolutionary for them to talk so candidly about sex on a show (even an HBO one at that) for and about women. Kudos to Kim Cattrall for saying some of her lines with such a straight face. And I like that it's a view into what female friendships are like... but it did get very "are we even attempting to pass a Bechdel test?" territory sometimes. The point is romantic relationships, sex, and the like, so I think that you can sort of excuse the first season for having such asinine conversations, but I found myself more curious about Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha's jobs not just who they were banging. But when the stories involved their jobs it was more of how inconvenient it could be for them to be career women and date (mostly Miranda and somewhat Sam). For Charlotte it was a way to meet men who met her standards. Tell me about art! Or how you got here!

where are their parents and siblings!?! We meet Charlotte's brother and she thinks Sam isn’t good enough for him? Are y'all friends? And then we don't see anyone at her wedding. Or Miranda's! Miranda’s mom dies and she and her sis must not get along cause she’s never mentioned again. I DID like the support of the 3 during the passing of her mom tho.

The negatives of the show I am sure I am not the first to point out but so much like racism, transphobia, homophobia, and like? I'm genuinely surprised it was written by a gay man since the gay men we're introduced to are somewhat caricatures and idk if flat is the right word but the show didn’t seem to actually care about Stanford, despite being relegated as part of the friend group but not one of the girls.

I kinda wish they kept Carrie's 4th wall breaking from the first season. I enjoyed it being not only Carrie's thoughts on love, sex, and relationships but her random and somewhat diverse (at least in class/careers) group of acquaintances. I kinda liked that you had a man's perspective in Skipper, but he was just so incel-before-it-was-a-thing that yeah it was fine when he left. But basically, I would have like a more rounded cast of characters not just the 4 women themselves?

idk I think overall I liked it (I mean I watched it all and am now writing out my thoughts on it—tho partially cause no one I’m close with irl has seen it). The fashion! The overall feel that it does sort of glamorize and make me go "I can be single in the city in my 30s!".

Onto the women themselves!

Carrie: I understand why Carrie is hated. She kinda sucks. She's a better friend to the women when their issues are not serious. She overlooks their issues when she's got "bigger" things on her mind (Big/Aiden, other men, her career, her fashion/money troubles, etc.)

She doesn't seem to be very sex positive/open minded about sex despite being a sex columnist. Like her dating a bisexual man and "not knowing what to say" and “I don't think it exists/layover to gay town". Like girl, WHAT? but then she was also rather calm about the pissing kink man and was like “not for me but here are alternatives” so where’s that energy?

I really enjoyed her fashion, I think if I had that confidence (and admittedly body) I would wear all sorts of things like she did and not care what anyone thought.

Big sucks. The show should have ended with her yelling at Big to FUCK OFF and leaving for Paris (and added a scene with the women visiting her and celebrating her new life) BUT for the earlier seasons idk why she just didn’t listen to him, he basically told her he did not want anything serious with her. She pushed it to be something else. I LOATHED THE cheating story line mostly cause I really disliked how a confident woman like Carrie stooped so low and needed Charlotte to remind her to think about being in Natasha’s shoes (didn’t she also judge Sam when Sam fucked a married guy?) Like she had a babsic all women deserve respect attitude. also Big shoulda dated Charlotte if he wanted a trophy wife cause like Natasha is basically a 26yr old Charlotte. (Not that Charlotte deserves that expired jar of mayo of a man)

then she treated Aiden awful! and to justify their second relationship sucking!!!!! they changed his character to make him an asshole who punished her at every turn (tho in his defense WHY WOULD YOU STILL BE FRIENDS WITH BIG. Not even cause he was the affair partner [tho Carrie 👀 wtf] but like he wasn’t a good “friend” either) like Aiden seemed heartbroken over their relationship ending (both times) but unlike her, he seemed to be someone who would be able to communicate and work past issues but he just didn’t? He just like kept bringing it up, like dude if you’re willing to take back someone who cheated on you stated your boundaries and deal breakers don’t just punish people for breaking them without knowing what they are!

Also idk if this is a 2024 take but for a writer she doesn’t seem to have interests that match writers? It implies she reads vogue but she doesn’t have favorite fashion critics/writers and she doesn’t seem to ever do like any writing workshops (learning or even teaching) idk it just was noticeable that Aleks was “worldly” and she and her friends weren’t? Which brings me to how come Charlotte was the only one who somewhat behaved sanely there. I know Sam always talks about sex but cmon she’s a PR agent she would know how to talk to a millionaire artist at his fancy dinner. Miranda, the lawyer would too.

I hated when Carrie asked Charlotte for money and Charlotte basically asked for forgiveness for not being there for her and initially rejecting the idea and then gave her the ring! wtf? Sell off half your fashion for money girl. I find it hard to believe someone in their 30s really didn’t know shit about money and even a huge love a of fashion, sell enough to get money to get a loan!!!!

THAT BEING SAID

I kinda like that she was a toxic, selfish, went-for-the-guy-despite-him-being-bad-for-her main character. Good fashion, sarcastic and witty, I really kinda miss landlines cause of her, I really enjoyed the overall friendship that was implied Carrie offered (tho it didn’t come across very well in later seasons lbr). Again, if i could i'd have here confidence, love of indulgence, HAIR, glamours partying (within reason smoking aint for me), and be a published author in a glamorous city.

Charlotte:

I didn’t like Charlotte at first, too conservative and WASPY and very dated views on dating and sex. Also weird that she was friends with any of these women when she basically disagreed with their very vocal opinions on sex. Like she seemed very opposed to sleeping around, despite still sleeping around herself idk oxymoronic imo.

but

she was easier to come around on. She’s the romantic, she had some of the best line of the series “maybe we can be each others soulmates”, “I’m worth a million”. I think she should have ended things with Trey waaay earlier cause of Bunny, like babes she sucks even if you wanted to eventually be a WASPY socialite like her. Trey clearly will not stand up to her...But kudos to Trey giving her the apt after the shit he put her through. Harry was great! I think I would go about committing to something the way Charlotte did when she converted to Judaism, which was try your hardest to, study your ass off, and be ambitious and unrelenting in completing your goals. So I relate to that. I’m glad she got her baby in the end, she deserved an adoption waaaay earlier and damn was watching her miscarry was a hard episode. I relate to her in her ambitious and romanticism but I also do not relate to her trust fund ways lol

her style was very classic and almost 50s/60s inspired I like the lines and cuts the most out of her closet but I would go with bolder colors tbh! 🤔 l guess my ending would be:

Carrie tells Big fuck off, leaves to Paris. Charlotte visits with her baby and the others a year later. We get clarification that she adopted her baby (can we please get a name?) and that she has another adoption in the process!

Miranda:

They did her dirty. She was cynical and sarcastic and stubborn and I was sure she and Samantha would be the “it’s ok to never marry or even partner up” story lines. And then she got pregnant and while I can understand why she would keep a child if she technically wanted some in the future (I would have to rewatch or google but I was sure she and Sam were like “kids are no!” I was sure she never did even after her ovary scare) I HATE STEVE.

he’s childish, he’s immature, he’s not on her financial level! even after the bar becomes a success (does it? I feel like she’s paying for everything! cause it's her apartment!) This man brought a puppy to convince her for a child and did NOTHING. I do not understand why she “loves him”. Cause I understand like the man that gave you a child but BLAIR UNDERWOOD WAS RIGHT THERE! He was a successful doctor. He understood her neurosis and also was able to help her work through it like Steve (i'll give him that he tried to balance her out) and Robert was frankly a better option (remember Steve couldn't fucking take care of their baby despite being the one who allegedly wanted children 1-2 years earlier!). If she had to end up with someone, it should have been Robert. (Why did they make Blair/Robert a fucking loser after the breakup? I understand him being hurt by being broken up with but he didn’t have to be such an ass to her and immediately what fuck two women to show he didn’t love her anyway????)

I wish they had kept her more androgynous style, they soften her up which fine but she was so good at the power suits! I like that she had short hair and was still chic. ALSO I miss real teeth. They're all clearly like straight and real teeth, Carrie has more yellow ones and I assume it's due do smoking but man remember real teeth in film and TV

Anyway, ending with Miranda added:

Carrie tells Big fuck off, leaves to Paris. (I guess I should add, she can dump Aleks still and just get another column or start a blog [2004 remember] about “An American Girl living in Paris”) Charlotte visits with her baby and the others a year later. We get clarification that she adopted her baby (again I want her to name the baby girl) and that she has another adoption in the process! Miranda is visiting alone (Brady is with Magda or even Steve cause damn dude take care of your child). She’s happy and successfully opened her own firm? Idk how lawyer careers work but she deserves to be a boss ass bitch-lawyer while being a single mom. OR she and Dr. Robert are engaged!

Sam:

also done dirty. And I mean cause despite being liberal and very vocal about sex, I really found it hard to believe she didn’t get tested until someone reminded her? HUH? She’s 40 and loves to fuck and is well groomed cmon! You can just be like she gets anxiety every time she tests cause so much language around STIs is "if you have sex you will die"!

I feel like her getting cancer was a way to punish her? Idk it felt like the story was saying she needed to learn a lesson bc a lot of her sex story lines were a bit of a punishment not a celebration (she fucked a married rich man and gets shut out? if she's rich enough she'd still be allowed into places cmon), but she was so cool about it all including the cancer, that it didn’t work but I still got that feeling of punishing Sam and maybe it’s my knowledge of the rift between SJP and KC?

Anyway, small dick good man was a meh story, big dick meh man was a rehash, SHE’S BI but Maria was a caricature of SPICY ANGRY LOUD LATINA. So we don’t even mention that again. Richard was truly a dick she should have kept fucking him and milking him for money and been fine with him fucking others and she could fuck others. bc why did she take him back? Girl you knew you didn’t believe him! Either he’s good for sex and money or you go back to being your phenomenal self!

Smith was great, supportive and a bit of a boytoy tbh? I like that they fell in love fr and he supported her so much. Again why fuck richard for her to just cry about it? And not even control the situation.

Sam’s style is the best, power suits, bright colors, shows off her body, wears patterns and looks great!

ending would be 🤔

Carrie tells Big fuck off, leaves to Paris. (I guess I should add, she can dump Aleks still and just get another column or start a blog [2004 remember] about “An American Girl living in Paris”) Charlotte visits with her baby and the others a year later. We get clarification that she adopted her baby (again I want her to name the baby girl) and that she has another adoption in the process! Miranda is visiting alone (Brady is with Magda or even Steve cause damn dude take care of your child). She’s happy and successfully opened her own firm? Idk how lawyer careers work but she deserves to be a boss ass bitch-lawyer while being a single mom. OR she and Dr. Robert are engaged! Sam is visiting and has been traveling Europe and it’s all a travel expense cause she’s still Smith’s PR agent and he’s on a press tour! Cancer is gone! She’s living the life! She's free to do whatever the fuck she likes.

Yeah I liked SATC overall, again 7/10. Maybe I'll rewatch when I'm 40

[samantha-and-nellie]

2, 3, 4 for the ask game! (My sideblog is beautifulwillfulldead btw, I changed my name)

2. which american girl looks the most like you?

honestly, none of them. just like you #57 with the bobbed hair is probably the closest, but the shade of brown hair is wrong and so is the eye color. from the historical line, if you gave rebecca or ruthie a bob, we’d be in the general realm of what i look like. but yeah, no great match for me!

3. which girl do you think you’d get along the best with and why?

well, only working from the historical line here, i am pretty similar to sam, so i’d hope that i’d get along with nellie! and based on the type of people i’m friends with irl, kit, kirsten, addy and julie seem like strong contenders.

4. which girl is your least favorite and why?

still thinking just about the historical line, there’s nothing that endears me to the twins, but i also haven’t read their books so i feel like that answer doesn’t fully count. probably controversial, but molly (while someone i liked as a kid) is a character that really grates on me now. there’s just so much in her that needs to be the center of attention, and i simply don’t find her the most interesting character. that being said, she’s still a child and has a lot of growing to do, so this is not me calling her evil or something.

[fappellmoan]

i won’t screenshot the dms bc i don’t feel like opening the latest message but EYE posted on my story abt the tiktok pictured below basically about how i got horny thinking abt someone working through a difficult math problem lol don’t worry abt that anyway sam slides up bc i cut part of it out so as to avoid insta censors and my slight embarrassment lol and was like does that say c*m and i was like well yes and then he was like haha what you’re into math… girl u have to walk w the thought process 😑 which i know you’re incapable of anyway so i vaguely responded like ah yeah what being away from stem for so long will do to u and he responds with like ten messages. including. ‘you gotta do it yourself’ that’s not the point 🙄 ‘you know how i’m terrible at talking to women’ wow really ‘so i realized i can calculate the speed of cum’ ‘bc i have some data’ DID I ASK?????!???!?!!!?!!!!! hello there’s oversharing and then there’s this… does the girl you’re having sex with know you share to this extent. and then he said how he accidentally brought this up to someone irl to be like haha awk whoops and i was like yeah well there r times where perhaps we need to self censor. and then i also get a message that’s like ‘hang on im doing the math’ IM NEVER EVER EVER GONNA BE ATTRACTED TO U I HOPE U KNOW THAT SCREAAMMMMM (and u need to know bc he’s genderfluid. im only using one set of pronouns for clarity on here ok i promise im not a dick. but he thinks he’s like. an exception for lesbians basically… like he doesn’t Count…. and like look im no essentialist im all for like freaky gender sex but also at so many other turns you do take advantage of being seen as a white male so. i don’t. yeah.) he’s kind of like the creepy dude at the edge of the friend group in high school named matt who would constantly harass me and my ex but like tried to be so lowk abt it. and it’s so bad basically. ‘17mph is crazy’ i hope you fall in an intersection sorry i can’t do this anymore 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 so pissed i have to see him tmrw i should be able to watch mmxxl w scully in peace

[imaginemyreality03]

🕹️👨‍💻An escape is only an escape if you still live most of your life in reality👨‍💻🕹️

🛑SPOILERS AHEAD🛑

(YES EVEN IF YOU SAW THE MOVIE)

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Read: January 27 -> January 31, 2024

BRA Score: 79/100

Favorite Quote: “No one in the world gets what they want and that’s beautiful.” - Wade, Pg?

~~~~~~~~

Book Gist: Wade is growing up in 2045, with nothing and no one to his name. His saving grace from a life of boredom and loneliness: The Hunt. The creator of the most used product in the world, The OASIS, left behind a challenge when he died 5 years ago that whoever can solve all the clues, pass every challenge, and collect every key will win his Easter Egg, which will make the winner richer than their wildest dreams, and give them full control over the OASIS. Wade isn’t the only one searching, millions of OASIS users have had their hands in the hunt, but the most dangerous is by far the Sixers of IOI, the quickly-monopolizing second tech company that will corrupt and destroy the sanctuary that Halliday built in the OASIS to turn it into another capitalist endeavor. Wade is trying to win it before IOI can, but if he is so poor he can’t even leave his school’s planet, how is supposed to solve anything?

Tags: SciFi, YA, Virtual Reality, Violence, Future-set

~~~~~~~~

Overall Review:

Pre-read:

The movie is by far one of my most favorite films of all time. I can pick it up at any point and immediately start quoting word for word. It’s my comfort film.

That being said, this read was highly anticipated, and I have not circled back yet to read Ready Player Two (though it’s on my list for next month because I am very excited that the sequel film was green lit).

Plot:

And, I think because I’ve lived the movie for years, I wasn’t made about how different the book was, BECAUSE my source material was the film, knowing the film was adapting the novel. I wasn’t attached one way or another on seeing parts of the book in the film. And because I have a mind for film, and how adaptions work, I could recognize why such significant parts of the story had to be changed, like the fact that there are 6 challenges (one per key and one per gate), or Daito and Sho being related, or iROK’s entire character (he drove me crazy tbh). To bring that to film would be such a struggle, because it’s so well layered and incorporated in the novel, with the pace and the plot structure, keeping that would not be plausible for a film timeframe and a bit too busy for the attention span of a film viewer.

Worldbuilding:

What I also really loved about the book was the detail! It was all so intricate and so reference heavy. It goes so much deeper in the book than it ever went in the film, and I love that. Because I’m the kind of person who can identify a detail as it is presented that’s meant to be hidden only to be very important later on, this book had me on the edge of my seat, I had no clue what would matter and what wouldn’t, which is exactly the reason why Halliday’s Hunt was so hard in the first place, so I really felt right in the middle of it all.

Romantic Sub-Plot:

Wade and Samantha’s relationship was a lot less interesting and a lot less necessary in the book, I felt. I didn’t really feel their chemistry much. I think their friendship only culminating in a relationship post-egg (or even moments before the final battle) would have been a lot better, especially if they had previously acknowledged that they had feelings for each other, but it didn’t feel right to explore that side of their relationship yet.

Wade:

Also!!!! Dude, Wade is so much fucking smarter than the film makes him!! He freaking infiltrates IOI (which is so much more awful in the book) and takes them all down from the inside and then freaking escapes!! Sam was legit just allowed anywhere she wanted and then walked out in the movie. He is a literal genius.

Cast:

Losing Daito IRL really made the stakes more intense than in the film, even with the stacks blowing up and the car chase. I was really sad for a while with that one, especially for Sho.

[saltwatersweets]

How did you get into dsmp, when did it start, who are your favs, who do you dislike, any hot takes, what did you think of the finale, what species do you hc the characters

1. i started watching dreams content early april 2020, at a little before 3 mil subscribers! i started watching dteam clips not too long after and so knew about the dream smp’s existence early early on, before there was lore. however i only used youtube at the time and didn’t even know there was lore at all until i saw sad-ist’s first dsmp animation (i have been a fan of hers since i was around twelve or thirteen; its funny that the dsmp introduced a lot of people to sad-ist but for me sad-ist introduced me to the dsmp!) a couple months later when lore started really picking up i started posting more about it on social media.

2. i think youre asking for fave characters, in which case im pretty basic. top five are likely gonna have to be 1) c!dream, 2) c!quackity, 3) c!sam, 4) c!tommy, and then i’d say c!techno, c!niki, and c!tubbo are all tied for fifth!

3. i wouldnt say i outright dislike any characters. i personally never really cared for c!schlatt and i especially havent really cared much for c!wilbur since like, the election arc. nothing against them personally, or fans of those characters, they just dont really interest me personally. that might change soon though!!

(this ended up being so long so more under the cut 💀)

4. i suppose my only real hot take is that again, the justification for what c!dream went through during prison arc can easily be used to justify what c!tommy went through during exile arc; i believe there are certain things that no one can deserve to go through and torture/manipulation like that are two of those things. i’ve already said that before but its really my only lore hot take i’d say i can word well (i have a lot of thoughts in my head and never have ANY idea how to word them 😭)

as for any hot takes regarding ccs, i wouldnt say i have any big ones either but they might put me in hot water with some people anyway LOL. i believe that everyone should be given chances to change for the better and that a person having bigoted views in the past because of how they were raised and no longer having them in the present is a Good Thing!! no one should be expected to be perfect for their entire lives. positive change is always good i think and it should be encouraged, for any cc and person in general. finally regarding any friendships in the dsmp that are broken now, i dont want to blame one single person in any friendship. we don’t know what fully happened behind the scenes and nor should we ever - its private.

5. this question ended up being perfect timing because i JUST caught up on the finale like two hours ago 😭 havent watched all the full streams but have seen the major clips so i could understand what happened. i was actually just about to post about it, but i loved it!! i’m a big c!discduo apologist and enjoy how it handled both their characters. c!tommy did do bad things (though that doesnt mean he deserved the bad things done to him)!! c!dream did a Lot of bad things (though that doesn’t mean HE deserved the bad things done to him)!!

i thought the way it handled their characters was pretty good for a minecraft roleplay and i find the fact that it caused so much discourse (especially about someone who from what i know wasnt even a main writer for it?) pretty stupid lmao. especially when i see tommy fans saying the finale sucked when from what i know tommy was one of the people who had a huge part in writing it?? lmao 😭 (not hating on tommy or his fans i just think its funny). i think that expecting a perfect and neat story of abuse on a MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY full of a bunch of minecraft streamers in their teens/early twenties was asking for disappointment.

i think the finale ended up being really profound especially with the irl stuff going on at the time (and what was to come in the future). how broken friendships played such a huge role on the server and just a year or so later many of the irl friendships would be broken. one thing that especially got to me was how much of a point was made that immortality wasnt right and it was important to live your life and enjoy it with the people you love while you can; that the best things are temporary because you can appreciate them. it was a natural evolution of c!dreams character of course (a necromancer who wanted his world to go back to how it used to be) but the fact that the finale streams happened only a few months after techno’s actual passing was not lost on me.

as for the final couple minutes themselves, i am a little conflicted. i would have loved the story to end with everyone keeping their memories and the idea that they’ll have to figure out how to live after doing everything theyve done; how to make peace with everyone WITH their memories. i’m not sure how season 2 would have gone but the fact is that we’ll never get a season 2 and that this is the ending we’re left with. especially how in a way c!dreams plan to “reset” the server seemed to come to fruition; i think it would have been a better ending for his and the other characters if again they had to live with their memories of what theyd done and try to move on like that. it wasnt really the type of ending that i was hoping the dsmp would have, but i think it served its purpose well. love the c!discduo being friends though!! and i also love seeing fics that take place during “season 2” and after the nuke went off, those always end up being super interesting to me.

6. any of my species headcanons are EXTREMELY basic lmao. duck hybrid c!quackity, creeper hybrid c!sam, goat hybrid c!tubbo, etc etc. i have no big headcanons i’d say - i totally see c!tommy and c!dream as both being 100% human though. i’d say thats my only real headcanon regarding hybrids and species. ive got a lot of headcanons but not too much about that specifically.

[miscelunaaa]

em's favorite reads for 2022

Hello and welcome to the list I said I’d make like two weeks ago and used to procrastinate doing both edits to sacrificial and messaging a client back about plot stuff!! Because I have a job now and I’m still adjusting to the fact that I’m an adult even now after all these years!! 

It’s been a fucking YEAR. Even like for myself personally, like this year’s just been fucking nuts. And yet somehow I found the time to do an immense amount of reading. I keep track of books I read, and well, to make myself feel better about how few books I read this year (and last), I started keeping track of fics I read that were longer than 50k. After all, 50k is what NaNoWriMo calls a novel, so why can’t I? With that in mind, it looks like I read some 60 books this year, most of them booklength fics. Of course, the list I keep is not exhaustive, thought I like to think it’s still pretty thorough. This year saw me starting to peak into other fandoms and read within them on ao3, and it also saw me return to commercial romance in the form of the Bridgerton Novels. There were things that I started and took to long to decide I didn’t like, there were things that I started a few times and finally decided I loved, and then there were things that I finished and allowed to haunt me for days after, when I couldn’t find anything that could compare. 

The list below is a selection of my favorites. All of them are works that qualified for a spot my personal “completed reads” list, so that means that, whether they’re finished or not, they hit roughly 50k (or were close enough for me to say it counted).  There are only ten because I had to arbitrarily pick a number to limit myself to, otherwise I would be here just listing things for the rest of eternity. Also note that there’s a lot of mxm on the list! On this blog, we are friendly to member x member fics, and if you have a problem with that, you can see yourself out. There’s so little I won’t read that after a certain point, it seemed silly to rule out some tremendous and beautiful stories just because I was worried about people being earnest Twitter shippers. The same accusations of delusional thinking can be easily leveled at those who read and write member x reader fics. In the end, the intent with which something was rendered matters more.

Anyway, that is all to sat that when I love something, I really deeply love it, and I will attempt to scream at anyone who’ll listen to me to read it. Consider this me, screaming at you with love. Happy reading <3

Before we begin, it should go without saying that all of the fics on this list are mature in nature and that you should not interact with them if you are a minor. Which like also, if you're a minor, you should not be on my blog, period. Read more disclaimers here.

∞ Stars Lost in the Sea (ao3) by smiles | this might have been recommended to my by @vyduan?? I don’t recall but either way THANK YOU. 

yoongi x seokjin, 75k, complete. Read for kind-of period romance, time travel, so so much pining, being where you need to be at precisely the right time, the unexplainable weightiness of love lost and regained, characters that deserve each other in ways I can’t hardly fathom. 

∞ Restitution (ao3) by @cloudteawrites | recommended to me by @minttangerines!!

ot7 x reader, 48k, incomplete/in progress. Read for deliciously tense hybrid dynamics, unconventional takes on species assignments for characters, phenomenal and thoughtful world building, a fic worth reading even if it were to remain incomplete for the rest of time. 

∞ tell me about the seagulls sam (ao3) by ebenroot | recommended to my by my irl army friend kitkat!!

seokjin x jimin AND namjoon x jungkook, 149k, in progress. Read for wonderful depictions of mental health issues, riotously funny character interactions, platonic soulmates vmin, deliciously one-sided-ish enemies to lovers, characters you are guaranteed to want to put in your pockets. 

∞ A Breach of Protocol (ao3) by Anna (pineconepickers) and tragicamente

namjoon x seokjin, 81k, complete. Read for unrepentant beefcake joon content, earnest and wonderful portrayals of adults trying to figure shit out while still being in the public eye, THE BODYGUARD AU TO END ALL BODYGUARD AUS, flawless and authentic characterizations.

∞ trust in the weather (ao3) by melodiousb

namjoon x yoongi x jimin, 70k, complete. Read for the magic au that will haunt me for the rest of my miserable life, the historical au that will similarly haunt me for the rest of my life, a magic system that felt natural and not once overwrought, romantic tension brought on by being the third in an established relationship, learning to love because you want to and not because you must, finding one’s place in a new home. 

∞ Teardrop (tumblr) by @hesperantha | I had the immense pleasure of beta-reading most of this!!

yoongi x reader, 70k, complete. Read for a story that feels deeply of our time, unflinching and joyful queerness, roadtrips with people who feel like people, the feeling of being unable to describe what a person means to someone while knowing the feeling is both vast and simple all at once. 

∞ What the Stars Look Like Under You (ao3) by nicedress

namjoon x yoongi, 100k, in progress. Read for the only pornstar au I have ever read that doesn’t fetishize sex work, depiction of recovery from deep seated trauma, being deeply understood in ways one would never expect, returning to loves once lost, a flawless depiction of an unreliable narrator. This is the fic that has seen my tears for every single fucking chapter. I can’t make this shit up. I have actually cried for each chapter of this fic.

∞ Honey when you need it (ao3) by GraphiteFox

yoongi x reader, 82k, in progress. Read for a reader-insert filled with tremendous depth, a playboy Yoongi that feels authentic, side characters that enrich and delight, depiction of mental health issues that feels real and done with care, an author taking care of their characters in a way that feels palpable while also being refreshing. Like that’s hard to describe and talk about but when you know, you know. 

∞ Up We Go (ao3) by Oh_Hey_Tae | recommended to me by @wwilloww!!

yoongi x jimin x taehyung, 100k, complete. Read for magical throuples, stunning depictions of depression, a modern magic au that I will never stop thinking about, a fic that will feel for you when you yourself are so tired of feeling, stories about love that taught me more than I could have ever expected.

∞ but i want it anyway (ao3) by ameliabedelias

namjoon x jimin, 55k, complete. Read for a truly perfect Jimin depiction, awkward and lovable Namjoon, metaphors threaded throughout that truly add to the story while being built upon in all the right ways, moments between two people falling for each other that I just think about all the fucking time. 

Have something wonderful you read? Want to share what you loved throughout the year? Tag me! I want to know what you read this year and loved!!

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©miscelunaaa 2022. My work is only found on this blog and under my ao3 pseud. Do not, under any circumstances, copy or repost my work. Thank you.

posted: 12.14.2022

[codenamecondor]

So, I got caught up with the Newsreader and I’m honestly not sure how I feel about it

The acting was top notch, of course, and holy crap do I love Helen! The moment when she stood up and walked out on camera was incredible!

But Dale made me so sad this series. His character arc worked and made sense but, with my current state of mind, it just made me feel so hopeless. I know it wasn’t meant to be hopeful but yeah. It was deflating emotionally and it’s meant to be but I have enough of that irl I’m currently finding it harder to swallow in media I guess? So, it’s less that I don’t think it’s good, and more that on a personal level it’s not what I find appealing right now, which is a pity because it’s a brilliant show but I just couldn’t enjoy it the way I did the first series

Like I said, don’t get me wrong, it works and Dale’s arc fits perfectly with the themes of the show and this isn’t me judging him necessarily because I understand all of his actions and I love the way the show illustrates the way different people deal with similar situations (being trapped, I guess, by gender or race or sexuality) and it does it so well but…I don’t know. This is a pointless post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But I literally watched episodes 3 through 6 in one go last night, so I think I need some time to chew on them and let them sink in

I will say, though, Sam Reid’s performance was chilling at times—the way he turns on and off for the camera and the dead eyes?? Like damn! He’s so fucking incredible. He and Anna Torv and honestly the entire cast is just so good

Edit: I guess I did really like it after all! Haha

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Strange New World’s Lost in Translation (2x06) had so much fabulous Uhura potential and the ep dropped the ball 👀

Uhura got shafted in this episode in terms of development. We didn’t learn much of anything about her that hadn’t already been covered in previous episodes. She spent most of the ep in wandering stunned silence. Why??? The romantic pairings got an inordinate amount of screentime compared to Uhura’s arc. Ugh!!! Kirk ended up being more of a focus than Uhura which makes no sense to me. The emotional catharsis of people avoiding Pelia - because she reminds them of Hemmer - was given to Una instead of Uhura which is weird because that character point was better established and clearer in Uhura’s interaction with Pelia than Una’s interaction with her. Uhura’s big line to Pike about “what’s the point of finding new life if we’re just going to kill it” was weak not because it’s not a valid point but because it’s…remedial! Once they knew they were dealing with sentient life, not killing it is really the bare fucking minimum and should need no speech. It should have just been a very loud “oh no. Let’s fix this. like. yesterday!!” and followed by truly roaring praise of Uhura for sifting through her past trauma to uncover the new life forms’ language. Why was Sam writing the paper about said new life? At the very least he should be co-authoring it with Uhura. Basically the last like 15 to 20 mins of the ep was more-so what i was expecting for the whole thing. Getting into the nitty gritty of Uhura figuring it out, fighting her demons, and helping the rest of the crew understand what was going on.

Anyway I could say more but I’m tired. I was expecting quality Uhura content from this ep but I didn’t get it. There was opportunity but SNW failed to optimize said opportunity and instead roped in literally every other character in ways that didn’t further Uhura’s character in any meaningful way at best and distracted from her character entirely at worst.

Almost like they were afraid that their version of Uhura “couldn’t carry the audience’s full attention”??? And/or run of the mill irl racism at work 😒 And based on the posts I’ve seen today tptb may be right about people not being willing to sit through a whole Uhura-centric ep because nobody on this hellsite seemed to even notice that Uhura was barely important to her own ep. I’m sad and frustrated to say the least. 😩

[kamari2038]

DBH Dystopia pt.1 (pt.2)

Elijah Kamski vs. Sam Altman

Many science fiction books tell the story of how machines become more intelligent than us and end up confronting us. Aren’t you worried about that possibility?

I understand the irrational fears about artificial intelligence. But I assure you, that will never happen with a CyberLife android. They’re designed to obey humans. They’re machines. They can’t ever develop any sort of desires or form of consciousness.

Are you sure?

I’m absolutely certain. You can trust me. - Elijah Kamski, c.2028

The IRL Sam Altman, founder and head of OpenAI:

Uses his computer as a tool to help cope with social rejection

Wildly brilliant and successful from a young age (admittedly aided by being a privileged white dude)

Amiable and accomplished young man known as the world’s foremost leader in “safe” and “socially-responsible” AI and meanwhile prepares for Armageddon and makes sure he’s really nice to the AI

I appreciate and respect this man. He’s an absolute nerd and a gay badass. Also probably (?) doing his best to create AI that won’t take over the world (while still neglecting other rather important ethical concerns such as stealing art, and rushing putting ChatGPT to market). But um… am I concerned about his technology?  Yeah…

Meet Sam Altman: OpenAI CEO, Prepper, Silicon Valley Royalty (businessinsider.com)

Altman told the founders of the startup Shypmate that, "I prep for survival," and warned of either a "lethal synthetic virus," AI attacking humans, or nuclear war. […] "I try not to think about it too much," Altman told the founders in 2016. "But I have guns, gold, potassium iodide, antibiotics, batteries, water, gas masks from the Israeli Defense Force, and a big patch of land in Big Sur I can fly to."

In 2015, Altman cofounded OpenAI with Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla and SpaceX at the time. Their goal for the non-profit artificial intelligence company was to make sure AI doesn't wipe out humans. […] "We discussed what is the best thing we can do to ensure the future is good?" Elon Musk told The New York Times in 2015. "We could sit on the sidelines or we can encourage regulatory oversight, or we could participate with the right structure with people who care deeply about developing A.I. in a way that is safe and is beneficial to humanity."

Sam Altman’s Manifest Destiny | The New Yorker

I sit in weird ways... I have narrow interests in technology, I have no patience for things I’m not interested in: parties, most people. When someone examines a photo and says, ‘Oh, he’s feeling this and this and this,’ all these subtle emotions, I look on with alien intrigue.” Altman’s great strengths are clarity of thought and an intuitive grasp of complex systems. His great weakness is his utter lack of interest in ineffective people, which unfortunately includes most of us. I found his assiduousness alarming at first, then gradually endearing. When I remarked, after a few long days together, that he never seemed to visit the men’s room, he said, “I will practice going to the bathroom more often so you humans don’t realize that I’m the A.I.”

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman warns that other A.I. developers working on ChatGPT-like tools won’t put on safety limits—and the clock is ticking | Fortune

[douglysium]

Episode 14 TMP Quick Thoughts

Housekeeping and Prologue

Hello, this is Douglysium and you might not know me as that guy who wrote over 100 pages of analysis on the Eye (which can be read on Tumblr here (https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/735599414228484097/the-relationships-between-the-dread-powers-the) or Google Docs here (The Relationships Between the Dread Powers: The Eye- Knowledge is Fear and Ignorance is Bliss)) or as that guy who wrote an article on the Extinction (which can be read on Tumblr here(https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/717929126195003392/what-would-avatars-of-the-extinction-be-like-a) and Google Docs here(​What would Avatars of the Extinction be like?: A TMA Speculation)). Suffice to say I might be a bit of a TMA fan. Also, spoilers for TMP up until episode 10. You can read my ramblings on the last episode here (Episode 13 TMP Quick Thoughts).

However, Protocol offers a very unique opportunity and experience for me because I didn’t actually get into TMA until after it was over and I binged all of it. So this is my first time experiencing something even remotely similar to what the original TMA fans probably experienced when waiting for each episode week by week and slowly having to put everything together with the limited information they had. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring since this might be my only chance to do something similar. However, I’m working on some longer form TMA content so I can’t spend as much time on these articles giving a bunch of super detailed thoughts. I will try to keep these short and that inevitably might mean some could have questions about why I think or predict certain things and in those cases I would probably recommend you read at least some of the two articles I mentioned above to get a better idea of where I’m coming from. This also means I won’t be giving you a play-by-play of every single thing that happens in the episode so I encourage you to listen to or read them yourselves and feel free to comment if you feel something is important.

These reviews are probably going to end up focusing mostly on the Entities and their manifestations as they are what I have thought about the most and spent the most time interpreting and there’s been a lot of… interesting theories floating around about how the Entities are manifesting that I want to go over.

Finally, I’m just going to say it right now, spoiler warning for all of The Magnus Archives. I know that Jon and co said one could start with Protocol and be fine, and while that’s probably true, media like this tends to be made in conversation with or take into consideration what came before it in the irl chronology in order to connect them. While I’m sure you could skip The Magnus Archives, I don't really see the point of skipping over it when we are already getting characters from TMA showing up in TMP in Protocol. So to me it’s pretty clear that if we want to understand the full picture of TMP and all the things it is trying to say then we can’t just try to pretend TMA doesn’t exist or scrub it away. Just because you could understand what’s happening without the context in broad strokes doesn’t mean you're getting all the nuances.

These articles are meant to be quick and short so sorry if there’s typos and if I don’t address every possible question or possibility. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this series outside of the prologue so be sure to skim some of my other articles.

Episode 14 “Pet Project”

As usual, we cut to a device listening in on the cast. This time it’s a camera in the breakroom as Celia and Alice grab a drink and Alice gives Celia a Choco Leibnitz (what I assume is a legally distinct version of Choco Leibniz for copyright reasons or a brand i haven’t heard of). They start talking about the date Celia went on with Sam and Celia explains that while the date was good they mostly just talked about work. Alice says “Oh Sam.” implying that this is something that is expected or been done before. Celia even admits that Sam can be a little… “intense sometimes.”

Alice notes that Sam has been acting weird ever since his date with Celia: “Yeah. What were you actually talking about? He’s been kinda worked up about the job ever since you two went out. It’s like watching a dog with a toffee – funny at first, but it’s hard not to worry... ” Celia says that she and Sam were speculating on “what the deal is” with cases and “the big ‘why’” in regards to what even is the point of going through the cases. Considering that Sam showed up to work drunk after his date with Celia, Alice’s point about Sam’s potentially odd behavior holds some weight. In all likelihood, the possibility of the cases being real, and maybe even the possible less savory reasons the OIAR goes through the cases, is weighing on his mind. 

Alice also admits “Sure, I went through the same thing when I started.” Confirming that, like Sam, she was once very curious about what the OIAR was doing and if the cases were real. So when Alice tells Sam to not ask any questions she is probably speaking from experience after watching someone else get into some sort of pickle or because she herself ended up somewhere dangerous mentally or physically. It could also be that she just didn’t find any answers and gave up. Celia alludes to the fact that she and Sam will have another date and Alice’s attitude seems to suddenly change.

Celia asks if there’s going to be a problem and Alice responds with extreme sarcasm. Celia says “I’m serious. you need to tell me if you’re going to have an issue with us. I don't know what the deal was between you, but I’m not interested in getting tangled up in workplace drama.” and Alice responds with “(dripping with sarcasm) The only drama is the dilemma of how I could possibly get by without you all to myself! ” “…am too intimidated by your genius intellect and desperately hot bod and think we should just stay friends? I couldn’t agree more. ” “And on that note I’m going to head off before I make you any more in love with me. Just try to restrain yourself yeah? Sam’s masculinity is already hanging by a thread.” There’s so many levels of sarcasm here on Alice’s part that it’s a little hard for me to pinpoint with certainty the exact reason why she seems to take issue with Celia going out with Sam again. The most obvious and straightforward reason would be that Alice still has feelings for Sam and she is jealous of Celia. She might have been fine with the first date because she didn’t think it would go anywhere. But Alice does note that Sam started acting concerningly weird ever since his date with Celia so it’s also possible that Alice is once again worried about Sam’s mental state and the more protective side of her personality is kicking in. It could explain a potential change in opinion here since Alice might’ve been fine with the first date until Sam started acting weird afterwards and she is growing worried about what Celia wants with Sam. Whether Alice is actually suspicious about Celia, is worried about Sam, this is just some petty emotional drama, or some weird combination of all of these things feels possible to me.

Lena encounters Sam in the office and asks him if he knows where Gwen is to which he says he does not and the next case starts. I think it’s interesting that Lena has started looking for Gwen. Gwen might be purposefully running late or outright trying to avoid Lena or Lena simply has another letter ready for her.

We start this episode’s statement, and it includes something I’ve been looking forward to and many fans have been asking about since TMA. That thing being snakes. I think sometimes people get a little too caught up about the lack of snakes in TMA or read too much into it (the only real direct reference to snakes is in regards to The Extinction with references to mythological world ending serpents such as Jörmungandr and Apophis from Norse and Egyptian myth respectively). While TMA has a lot of episodes, at the end of the day it can only fit so many statements so it’s plausible that even a more common fear might slip through the cracks or end up not getting a dedicated statement. Not to mention most of TMA takes place in the UK and there aren’t a whole lot of super dangerous or big snakes running around. The only poisonous snake I could find after a quick google search is a kind of adder that “is the UK's biggest venomous animal, but they are rarely a threat to people or dogs.” The again most spiders aren’t super poisonous either and they show up plenty and fears can be far from rational. This episode finds an interesting way to include an abnormal amount of different snakes by setting the case within a pet store.

Chester starts off the statement with

Treatment Report. 

Elima Pest Ltd. 

Attending Technician: Alyssa Beck 

Date: 01.08.1995. 

Job No. 8146 

Client Contact: Anthony Walker. 

Property Type: Commercial. 

Address: Resounding Reptile 

Emporium, Hartshill, Newcastle Under-Lyme 

Follow up Required: Yes 

Report Type: Call Out 

Note: Follow up postponed until location of attending technician determined. 

Initial Assessment - 15:30 

So we can surmise that some kind of exterminator (Alyssa Beck) has been hired to deal with something by Anthony walker. Alyssa explains “Client reported that a rat had been spotted in the shop’s break room.” and meets with the proprietor / owner who explains that they are “concerned about the potential of fleas or ticks brought in by the rodent.” Alyssa notes that the shop’s owner “...had clear red/sore patches around his neck from itching. I assured him that unless he had come into close contact, it was unlikely that he had been bitten or suffered from parasite transference. Most likely psychosomatic phantom bites as an effect of the current heatwave. Worth noting however, that the strong odour of the shop indicates that the IAQ of the Reptile Emporium is likely below recommendations.” So the owner is worried that he had been bitten or infected, Alyssa explains that it’s probably just the heat, and the shop smells absolutely terrible. But Alyssa then begins to hypothesize that mosquitoes might be the source of the sore patches: “Follow-up probably required. I suspect that due to the heat and humidity of the shop, mosquitoes may be present, which might also be the source of the shopkeeper’s skin irritation. The Resounding Reptile Emporium backs onto a marshy nature reserve, which increases this risk, although none spotted during initial inspection.”

Alyssa requests that the shop be cleared of customers so they can perform a full inspection and the owner becomes increasingly agitated, “presumably due business worries, 

resulting in a brief altercation. Kept mentioning “his burden” and grabbing at my sleeve. Received slight scratch by accident, but no escalation or violence, so no need for a full incident report, although anyone following up should be advised there may be a mental health problem.”

The inspection begins at 15:41 (or 3:41) and Alyssa describes part of the store “Break room situated in an annex separated from the main shop by a formerly external door (adequate barrier between main shop and affected area). Customers vacated from premises by client.” They find uncovered food in the breakroom: “open bin containing various unfinished food items and empty frozen mice packets (snake food, presumably). Discarded crisp and sweet wrappers on countertops. Even with window open, there is a  strong smell of spoiled food. Recommended consideration: sealed waste disposal and food storage.” They also find ants in and around the cabinets and take note of them in case of a possible full infestation.

At 15:50 (or 3:50) they note “Found Cylindrical droppings with sheared ends, indicating squirrel. Minimal volume: likely just the one. Woodland area and trees directly outside breakroom window. Recommended prevention: mesh grate over window to prevent further ingress. Squirrel discovered on overhead cabinets. Window left fully opened to aid exit. Area sealed. 

At 16:10 (or 4:10) Alyssa notes “Retrieved live capture trap from van. Customers granted re-entry to shop floor. During room preparation small hole discovered between wall of breakroom and adjacent room. Used by squirrel as point of egress. Adjacent room locked, key requested and signed out with client. Hole sealed.”

Then at 16:30 (4:30), “Squirrel found among storage boxes and captured alive with trap. Will seal ingress hole after removal. Captured squirrel appears lethargic, likely injured or poisoned. Remov-” and we suddenly cut to “Police aren’t here yet. They say any minute but I don’t think it’ll matter. I can still hear the operator on the phone, but it’s just noise.” Alyssa says that somehow thousands of snakes are in the store and they leave a final message for their dad, saying that they know their dad will believe them and that it’s not his fault.

Alyssa speaks of the room they are in. One that the squirrel made it into and it acts as a makeshift CCTV office, complete with cameras. Although Alyssa does say “Just a storage closet, really. All the cameras show the shop interior.” So it’s probably about as small as a closet and used to be one too. They explain that just after they had caught the squirrel and began to head out they saw something on the screen of one of the camera monitors. The shop owner “...was reaching over the counter, grabbing at a customer, while their daughter stood crying nearby. I recognised the girl, or at least the toy gosling she was holding, remembered how she looked at her Dad when I told the two of them to wait outside. It reminded me of us.” and “It’s selfish how I wish you were here now dad.”

When Alyssa “unsealed the shop floor the shopkeeper seemed obsessed with continuing his sales pitch to the pair. He was adamant that they purchase a snake, and pretty much ignored me entirely. It made me a bit uneasy, so I hung back to watch. Thinking back… I should have noticed he was off.” Alyssa watches the camera monitor as “the shopkeeper suddenly lunged forward, clearing the desk, smashing the glass on his way with a crash I heard even through the closed door, leaving him sprawling among the crickets previously boxed on the shelf behind him. They were jumping, flowing, twitching. Thousands of them, just juddering pixels on the monitor, but the noise was palpable, punching through the wall like a fist. I grabbed my phone and called the police. I should’ve gone out there and helped but- but I was scared. I just couldn't.” Alyssa tries to explain what’s happening to the police but doesn't listen to their response on the phone. “On the screen I could see the customer had scrambled to his feet and he and his daughter were nearly out of the entrance. The shopkeeper lunged one last time and that’s when I noticed he’d… started to change. He was bloated. Swollen around the neck.” The door slams in the shop owner’s face and something falls out of his mouth, but Alyssa can’t make it out through the monitor.

“Moments passed with no noise except the screaming crickets and my own thudding heartbeat. The shopkeeper lay completely prone, he hadn’t moved at all, and I wondered if the fall had knocked him out, cracked his skull or something. Then there was movement near his head, and he began to twitch and spasm. I thought it might be a seizure but then, his mouth began to open, wider and wider, impossibly wide, his jaw bones snapping with the strain. And then a horde of slender shapes slithered out.” “Snakes, Dad. Thousands of them. All from inside him, pushing up through his deflating throat. The floor was lost beneath the heaving, writhing mass of them. I could hear the scrape of their scales on the linoleum, but they made no other sound. Then the owner's body began to slide across the floor towards the closed door between us. It took me a moment to realise his body was being pulled over the broken glass and debris, carried on the creatures' backs. Towards me. I got the door locked just in time. This room, it’s a mess. Printouts, delivery notes, a bunch of rejection letters from some institute he pinned to the wall with a kitchen knife. And it's hot in here, dad. Too hot. Oh god. I can feel it. My throat is swelling. And it itches. I can still hear all the snakes brushing up against the door and… in the walls, I think. Christ, they’re in the walls… Oh god. I forgot about the hole. I love you Da-”

In my analysis of episode 12 (Episode 12 TMP Quick Thoughts) I tried to look for any discernible patterns or correlations for when certain computer voices show up. Episode 13 was a live phone call, so we didn’t get the chance to hear any of the voices. However, this statement is told by Chester (Jonathon’s voice). A youtuber by the name of Maddie’s Maxis (This Channel's First Video - The Magnus Protocol Analysis and Theories) hypothesizes that Chester covers statements related to the Institute. Something that probably holds true here since I think it’s safe to assume that the rejection letters could be from the Magnus Institute (meaning that the owner was rejected like Sam). I myself proposed that Chester seems to show up in regards to statements that are connected to looking for things, which also holds true here. In this case Alyssa is an exterminator, which means their job involves looking for and catching things like pests (and they end up tracking down a squirrel). Considering the Institute rejection letters mentioned, it’s also possible that the shop owner is looking for information about The Institute. This also could relate to what Sam mentioned on his date with Celia about a string of bad luck after being rejected from the Institute. Alyssa also mentions “Printouts, delivery notes, a bunch of rejection letters from some institute he pinned to the wall with a kitchen knife” implying that the shopkeeper harbors ill will towards the Institute or blames the organization for something.

It’s interesting that Alyssa mentions that their dad would believe them and that this isn’t his fault. It could simply be that Alyssa’s dad really trusts them or that their dad is the reason they took this job for some reason but it’s also possible that Alyssa’s dad has some connection or experience with the supernatural that would lead to him believing Alyssa. He could have been part of some sort of faction or mentioned weird occurrences, or maybe Alyssa even experienced a supernatural encounter with him.

If we were to view this through the lens of Smirke’s 14 (plus The Extinction) from TMA this case actually falls pretty cleanly into the domain of an Entity like The Corruption. There are also some themes of The Hunt, with all the snakes seemingly hunting Alyssa down and finding their way to Alyssa through the walls, and maybe even The Eye in relation to the camera system and the fear of seeing too much as well as the snakes immediately knowing Alyssa’s location and finding them. There is also thematic overlap with The End, since Alyssa potentially dies and the snakes could be poisonous, The Slaughter if you see what the snakes are doing as a violent action, The Buried with how Alyssa is trapped in a small room, The Flesh with how the shop owner’s body contorts and the body horror involved, and The Desolation if you want to talk about some parts of the store being broken or the shopkeeper fearing that he might lose business.

However, I think something like The Corruption has the best argument for multiple reasons. First, I need to go over The Corruption a bit to make sure we are all on the same page. The Corruption is a fear that is connected to disgust. Most of this is obvious with the connection it has to gross creepy crawlies or illnesses but The Corruption also has strong themes of love, toxic relationships, and shame with some self-loathing. I’ve seen people express confusion over this but these themes actually still connect to the idea of disgust when used by The Corruption.

It’s important to remember that the Entities don’t always relate to just physical fears. It is possible to fear something that is physically disgusting but you can also find certain actions, behaviors, mindsets, and other non-physical attributes to be disgusting or repulsive. Certain behaviors or actions might be described as “gross” or “shitty.” So in the case of The Corruption it’s forms of love often connect to unhealthy or “disgusting” relationships (not just romantic relationships either). The Corruption does also seem to have a connection to shame and self-loathing which also makes sense for its connection to disgust. It’s possible to feel disgusted towards one’s own self or their own actions. Someone might feel unworthy of love because they are disgusting or they might feel like “shit” because they feel gross or terrible. It is possible to perform actions that make you feel “dirty” even if you aren’t physically any dirtier. Additionally, the more disgusting you are the more others are likely to judge or avoid you. I should make it clear that The Corruption isn’t the only Entity to have manifested as weird diseases or the only one that could ever relate to love (for example we see Annabelle Cane attempt to use the love her family feels towards her to manipulate them in TMA before encountering The Web. Love can easily tie into themes of control or breaches of privacy with Entities like The Web, The Eye, etc.). There’s also possibly a whole thing with feeling like you’re so disgusting and undeserving of love that you feel like dirt and the only things that could possibly love you are other disgusting things or rot itself because it’s what you deserve but that’s for another time.

Looking back at the case itself there are a lot of parallels to The Corruption. First the shop itself seems unsanitary. There are open bins of food in it (which can attract pests), ants crawling around before crickets later escape(and we know The Corruption often gravitates towards gross bugs), squirrel droppings, a terrible stench, etc.. The store is also located near a swamp, a biome that can have tons of stagnant water turn it into a vector of disease. Alyssa even hypothesizes that mosquitoes might be present in the store, and we know The Corruption has manifested as mosquitoes previously (like in MAG 45 (Blood Bag)). This is probably because mosquitoes are great vectors for disgusting diseases in addition to having the association of being a gross bug. The store is also extremely hot and heat can cause things to rot, spoil, or decompose faster (such as the uncovered food Alyssa finds).

The shop owner also has a strange sickness or infection taking the form of itchy red sore patches. He seems worried that he was bitten or infected by a parasite since Alyssa had to assure him otherwise. The Corruption has a connection to sicknesses and infections with how gross people find them and how gross they can make you feel. Later a bunch of snakes spew out of the shop owner’s mouth and Alyssa mentions how their jaw contorts unnaturally which might generate feelings of disgust and relates to the whole snake thing. Some people might find snakes related to The Corruption of all things to be weird since The Hunt, The Slaughter, or The End seem like more obvious answers for what kind of fears snakes could relate to. But I have met people who have said that they find snakes gross or disgusting so I don’t think someone fearing snakes because they associate them with something gross is completely unheard of even if it might not be why you yourself find them scary. Some might find how and what snakes eat gross too. Considering that the owner’s mouth opening unnaturally wide to release snakes resembles how snakes can unhinge their jaws, I have to wonder if the sore patches are meant to resemble an animal shedding their skin or if the infection was actually caused from a supernatural snake bite. It could just as well be that the show owner was infected by a scratch similar to the one he gave Alyssa.

The shop owner also mentions some sort of “burden.” Something that I think could tie in pretty well to the previously mentioned feelings of guilt, shame, or self-loathing. The owner might feel disgusted with himself which creates the feeling of some sort of burden. It could have something to do with the Magnus Institute but it also sounds similar to Doctor Webber is episode 3 (TMP Quick Thoughts 3). A character who also clearly feels a heavy burden due to an anxiety caused by some sort of action (presumably the death / killing of his wife). Alyssa mentions that the owner scratched them at some point, which sounds somewhat similar to something like “The Tale of a Field Hospital.” An artifact tied to The Corruption that would leave papercuts that quickly became infected if one interacted with its pages. We never get to see if Alyssa’s wound would have actually gotten infected specifically but some of their last worsd are “...and it's hot in here, dad. Too hot. Oh god. I can feel it. My throat is swelling. And it itches..” So they are getting infected by something and there’s an implied connection there. The store is already noted as being hot and they are in a presumably small room but it’s possible that they have a sickness which is causing their body temperature to increase. Which is kind of funny when you remember that many snakes can sense infrared radiation, which means they basically have a sort of heat vision. So if someone got sick and their body temperature started rising it would be easier for something like a snake to find them. It’s possible that the snakes were able to find Alyssa so quickly because of the wound acting like some sort of weird supernatural heat beacon.

Alyssa is an exterminator which we know is an occupation that has come into contact with The Corruption previously. In TMA Jordan Kennedy was a pest exterminator that encountered The Corruption. This makes sense because exterminators are usually hired to get rid of animals that are either dangerous, disgusting, or both. Especially, since things like bugs and rats can be a vector for diseases (something that can easily relate to The Corruption). Alyssa seems to reminisce about her dad a lot which seems like it could relate to The Corruption and love (familial love in this case of course). It’s hard to say how unhealthy the relationship sounds, if at all, but Alyssa does say “It’s selfish how I wish you were here now dad.” implying that they might feel some sort of guilt for wishing that their dad was present. Alyssa insisting that their dad is not at fault for what’s happening could also potentially allude to some sort of guilt present. It’s possible one of them accidentally hurt the other or there was a falling out of some sort. The case mentions “Note: Follow up postponed until location of attending technician determined.” at the beginning. Meaning that, at least at the time, Alyssa disappeared or a body could not be found. Maybe the snakes were looking for a new host and Alyssa is some snake version of Jane Prentiss or maybe the snakes simply devoured their body so there were no remains.

This episode has some pretty notable thematic similarities with the case of Webber in episode 3 (Putting Down Roots) which makes me inclined to believe that, Smirke’s 14 or not, the force in this case and Webber’s case are the same (or at least very similar).

We cut back to the office and Sam tries to wave off the mention of the Institute by saying it could be any Institute. Once again, I feel like something or someone is purposefully trying to entice or stoke Sam’s curiosity. Gwen startles Sam and she says “(putting bags down) I didn't “sneak up”. It’s not my fault if you're distracted.” Sam getting sucked into a case is somewhat similar to how some characters would get sucked into the statement they were reading but this could always just be because the events are horrifying or Sam’s “intense” personality, if Celia and Alice are to be believed. Gwen says “Just now. Seems pretty straightforward to me. Snakes, not sure what the collective noun is, horde maybe? Cross link with infection too probably. I wouldn’t have thought the letters have any bearing on the classification.”

Sam tells Gwen that Lena was looking for her to which Gwen asks how long ago this was. Sam replies “Dunno. Few minutes ago. She seemed uh… not happy.” and Gwen quips “Is she ever?” We then get this interaction

GWEN 

“What did you tell her?”

SAM 

“Hmmm? Nothing. Just that I hadn’t seen you. Something wrong?”

GWEN 

“Nothing you can help with.”

SAM 

“Listen, Gwen”

GWEN

“Just leave it alright. Focus on your cases. You wouldn’t understand.”

SAM 

“(cold) Of course not.”

GWEN 

“That’s not- (heading off) I don’t have time for this.”

GWEN exits. 

SAM 

“(muttering to himself) No-one ever does.”

Clearly, Sam is becoming annoyed by the lack of transparency and Gwen doesn’t think Sam will believe her about her encounter with Mr. Bonzo. It’s also possible that Gwen is even trying to protect Sam by keeping him out of it but this seems less likely. Gwen immediately wondering what Sam said about her whereabouts makes me suspect that Gwen is probably up to something or trying to avoid Lena.

Conclusion

I didn’t realize this till a few episodes ago, but the transcripts have the categories and forms the cases are filed under. Although, I can’t see anything that would change what I’ve said previously or shed a ton of new light on anything so I didn't really think about them. I still don’t have anything to say but here’s the one for this case:

CAT1RB4426-01081995-15032024 

Transformation (snake) -/-horde 

Incident Elements: 

- Body Horror 

- Snakes 

- Implied Harrassment 

- Mentions of: rodents, insects, dead animals 

Protocol quick thoughts archive- TMP Quick Thoughts Archive