#what if i cant play anymore?
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#no brain tumor#no cancer#not sure about lyme yet but i doubt it#its just an escalation of the sleep stuff#at the 1.5 year mark and its gotten to THIS#i cant do it anymore. but i have to. so i will. and thats really all there is to it#....i cant color anymore.#i used to be especially good with color blends#patterns and such#the thing i made last night... was like something i wouldve made in grade school#its been so long since i tried but i didnt think id lose the ability to... color. of all things#now im too afraid to pick up one of my instruments again. even if id only have the energy for one song...#what if i cant play anymore?#hell i already had to quit playing minecraft because id just. get lost running in circles around the map. not remembering what i was doing#same thing happened with tears of the kingdom after the hyperfixation wore off#back to not being able to tell dreams from reality and that is really fucking bad when all your dreams are nightmares#for a bit i was able to whittle charms to hang over the bed. but if im not safe to drive i definityl shouldnt be handling a knife#not even to sharpen the colored pencils i cant use...#at least in this hellsite i can talk to myself as much as you#next up is the neurology department. and some harassing of other sleep labs#wish me luck#id say delete later but i wont
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warden mahariel ⚔️
#doodles#dragon age#dao#im not gonna lie i forgot her name and i cant play origins anymore so i cant check what it was. but im gonna name her ash#anyway she's in love with morrigan <3#grey warden#ive never drawn anything w so many layers its so stressful man
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last year i found a wii at goodwill for 25 dollars and it came with everything except a wiimote but it was in such good condition i was like hell yeah ill take it how hard can it be to find a wiimote. the answer is it's nearly impossible to find them at thrift stores now so i've spent like 8 months looking for ones in thrift stores but there wasn't a single one and then online but i just couldn't bring myself to spend 30 dollars on one single wiimote so i waited so. patiently. and then 2 weeks ago i finally found one at goodwill for 9 dollars but it was absolutely disgusting and the battery cover was missing and the compartment was all corroded so i put it back and regretted it the whole week but then this last weekend i went to savers and there was an absolutely perfect wiimote just sitting there with no corrosion and a jacket and the wrist strap and motion plus and the nunchuck was there too and i got it all for 10 dollars so the moral of the story is that sometimes things seem right for you in the moment but you have to recognize that they aren't and leave them behind so the things that are meant for you will in fact find you when the time is right. peace and love <3
#for real though im so happy i cant even lie like i regretted selling my wii soooooo much but anyway im back baby <3#im disinfecting everything rn bc i have a germ problem but once it it's done.....i am SO back#when i first got it i didnt have the remote right so i couldnt plug it in and make sure that it worked but i did just plug it into an outle#to make sure it ran and it did and wii sports resort popped out of the drive so thats fun bc i didnt have that one#and anyway i might cry when i hear the menu sound ngl ngl.#but the city i live in is like an overgrown retirement home and so the goodwill is full of old people things and this wii had stickers#like explaining which cord was which so i just know it was a wii that they bought for like grandmas house and only played it when they were#over there so anyway cant wait to see what's on there and if the news channel and weather channel are still on the homepage even though#i dont think they work anymore lol#also shoutout to the type a kid who kept their wiimote in such perfect condition that i wanted to cry when i saw it sitting on the shelf#ty <3
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wha... hey for those of you who have told me you've never played minecraft, or you have bedrock but not java... minecraft is. on sale? this thing NEVER goes on sale-
#seems like you cant buy JUST java from what i can see on this page. it's a java/bedrock bundle for $15#(the page shows $20 but that's including a bunch of shop junk you dont need. JUST the games is $15)#i guess buying JUST java isnt a thing anymore. i dont see that anywhere on the shop page lol#dungeons and legends are also on sale#mobile and switch releases too#i have no idea what the prices are in anything but USD sorry#hey pspsps if you've ever wanted to play skyblock now's your chance#chat
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Sooooo the last few days i’ve been seeing stars and suddenly i’m juggling 6 sorcerer boyfriends. Whats a polar bear to do?
Also this is my MC, 🍨✨ Sorbetes ✨🍨.
Context why my MC is a sentient polar bear.
The MC doesn't have a set appearance and then there was this dialogue. And the emotes are polar bear themed 😂😂😂 is also literally its own spoiler
#arcana twilight#arcana twilight Arcturus#arcana twilight Spica#arcana twilight Vega#arcana twilight Sirius#arcana twilight Alpheratz#arcana twlight Pollux#wow cant believe i’m actually drawing/playing something other than SDV#are you proud of me?#i was supposed to be playing reverse 1999 but likkkkeeee#i heard alpheratz and spica’s voice and it was game over#i spedrun the game in a week???? and the plot isnt done yet so i dont know what to do with my life anymore#The main story is pretty good?? I mean i wish that the MC would play a more active role???#i mean she started learning magic in a whole as new world#but i like i just want my MC to fight yknow aside from like rushing to someones aid#although she literally is meant to be a support character but like#if i cant fight with magic let me fight with my fists/sord#the game really shines with the side plots!!! I enjoyed the friendship building and the character relationships#hahahha catch me drawing some of them in the future#Sorbetes built like Alpheratz’s new favorite napping place#Spica is very disappointed somewhere#Also Sorbetes goes by they/them
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his fuckass loafers im losing it
#snap chats#ill take like ninety personal screenshots once he's available in-game i just ripped this from a skin showcase vid#see i dont totally hate the beard anymore now that its been rendered and i can see it better. id still prefer clean but whatever#he kinda cute all regal an lookin like rudolf from fire emblem he makin me giggle a lil 🥰 ok ill stop idk what came over me#they didnt wanna put him in chanel boots they knew i woulda made a comment .....#anyways. I CANT BELIEVE I GET WANDA AND MAGS SKINS FOR MY BIRTHDAY LIFE IS SO GOOD#my brother is not being subtle in the slightest in saying he'll get me the battlepass despite my protests so. LOL 💀#the past three weeks he be like So What Do You Want For Your Birthday 👁️👄👁️#and then we find out the skins dropping my birthday and he be like SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY 👁️👁️👄👁️👁️#LIKE GO AWAY STOP that so diabolical both of them are dropping this week tho .... i thought id have more time but no#marvels trying to kill me. beautiful woman and her cunty father thats so fucked up#i wish i could say this means i should play wanda more but the guilt id feel picking dps when 90% of the time we'd need a tank or support#just gotta bet he fastest hand in the west and have no guilt and pick dps ig ervkLEAJEAKL#anyways. im gonna go back to work FOCUS YOU FUCKER
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The second fic idea is a what-if scenerio where Jimmy dies in the crash due to and altercation with Curly and how Curly would navigate being Captain once he has to notice the little things and how he and Anya's relationship develop as he adopts an identical view point to hers rather than just keeping the peace.
And maybe i will write it but only time will tell tbh but it's stuck in my brain dome for the time being.
#cause even if it got to Curly snapping and killing Jimmy for the sakes of the crew would you not have that guilt in being responsible for#anothers death espcially with all the responsibility on his shoulder and how he realizes he tried to be reponsible for things and made them#worse like the guilt drives Jimmy insane even if he doesnt admit like imagine Curly who would care so much and wonder if it shouldve#been him not to mention Anya being free from Jimmy but still not his actions and having to navigate still being stuck with the pregnancy an#the shallow feeling because relief doesn't mean happiness like i think shed believe shed be happier that Jimmy cant get to her anymore but#what now that their stuck? That the Captain is faltering and they are stranded for like another 6 months? If they even make it that long?#Like he may be gone but all his damage is still there and thr wounds fresh like its such a good concept i just cant divide my attention lik#that as i am still in college and it is sadly midterms#anyway uhhhh I just really want to write a fic where Curly and Anya can have that hard conversation on how he handled Jimmy constructively#and without him looking like undercooked skirt steak like there would be those moments where it lingers between the monotiny of staying#alive but how would they even address it? what comes first the sorry or the list of why he should be? like Curly places a lot of value on#his use to others and its interesing and subtle and its mostly directed between Jimmy who steers it and Anya who rides along with it#like go the thoughts and ideas i have but not the fuckin time!!!!#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#also daisuke and swansea are there but like i still have to think of the reflections they have and how to play with their characters in thi#idea world but yeah I want Curly to make amends and Anya to rediscover her autonomy and living outside that fear.
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i desperately need to be part of an active violentine server. this would fix me i think
#i need to DISCUSS them screaming into the void is killing me 😭#my friends keep telling me theyre gonna play then dont.. it has happened 4 times now. i think im cursed#wont somebody talk with me about my most beloved girls in the whole world!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE IM BEGGING#what do i have to do i'll do anything please please please#theyre too good to be treated like this smFUCKING h i cant take the silence anymore 😭😭#it speaks#violentine
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some old stuff from my sketchbook :)
#i checked what i was in de. i was sorry cop and i had 1 on fascism lasklfkaljksh#what did i doooo#i was always drunk so i cant remember shit#i pirated de and i have it on my puter now :) i just hope i dont get triggered while playing it :T#disco elysium#cuno#cunoesse#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#furry#sai#art#fanart#anthro art#furry art#sorry bout last post. i dont have the fight in me anymore. ive been like this for so long and i dont seem to be getting better#at least i have kim :3#i think i might be bipolar :/ oopsies
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable
there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??
a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!
i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.
i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-
hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.
the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.
#and yes#before you ask#i have forgotten which account has which items/has done which content many a time#i think the most painful incident was forgetting to keep up the scoundrel's making waves while i was still playing nemesis with caeru#given that im trying to build it up to 12 and reset their specialization... that was uniquely painful#then again they have like 40 BDR so it wasnt actually that inconveniencing lmao#fallen london#ask#long post#sorry for the infodump + sudden villain monologue.#all jokes and personal accounts aside i totally get the apprehension abt doing that stuff again#it's not for everyone. not by a long shot.#im only doing this because im genuinely invested and in love with this silly little browser game#and way back when i started i made a (only half metaphorical) solemn oath to experience all of its ''main stories''#and truly see everything it has to offer#(bc i like. physically cant do hyperfixations by halves. i need to consume Everything abt the thing or i'll explode)#(and even then i'll probably explode anyway. it's either completely drop it or go All In until it stops taking up so much space in my brain#(and. given the track record. that is not happening with FL for a while yet)#but like. that isnt actually normal behavior. just. just to clarify.#from what ive seen a VAST majority of people do not go out of their way to play literally every ambition#and that is so valid. it is so overwhelming. you have to juggle so much.#you have to play the earlygame So Many Goddamn Times.#(as i said. served my time. did my sentence. i am my scars. etc etc)#the best advice i can give as someone who's so completely desensitized to that repetition it doesnt even phase me anymore?#the same advice i can stress to all FL players. legitimately just take ur time with it. play when you want to.#dont when you dont.#sometimes you have to grit your teeth and bear things. and when it comes to alts you Will have to grit your teeth and bear it all again#but the beauty of this being a game that one plays for fun is that unlike. say. crushing deadlines or annoying coworkers in real life#you are completely within your power to decide when where and if you want to grit and bear it all#..wow this is ADVANCED yin rambling holy shit. i actually reached the tag limit. i think this ask should be put on some kind of list
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Is it just me or is Neko Atsume 2 more or less the same game but with more microtransactions?
#what do you mean i cant trade silver fish for gold fish anymore?#im not spending real world money on the cat collector game#i'm this close to writing a lament for free to play games that are fully functional
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hi you will understand my view
saiki has a lot of boxes full of shopkins and miniature things in general
one day in the middle of a hang out w the gang they're bored in his room and he pulls out one of this bad bitches
ignore the low quality 😭
FUCKKKK YESSS. I DO. I DO UNDERSTAND.
there needs to be like a masterlist of kusuos fixations/special interests LOL but mini things is definitely one of them.. i like to imagine him with a little dollhouse full of shopkins and other mini things so he can shrink down to their size and hangout inside.. sorry that's so silly but i love it LMAO imagine his parents walking into his room and hes in a little mini hammock in a barbie dreamhouse..
omg kusuo writes in a diary but nobody can read it because its mini and he writes in it when hes tiny..
sorry im gonna keep adding my own stupid things to this but. some of his other fixations include zelda, my little pony, mario kart, hot wheels, stuffed animals, the frozen movies (specific ik), vocaloid (pjsk)..
remember how he made his dads figurine move like a real robo-suit when he was in it ? that but with hot WHEELS and those little mario kart figures oh my GOD. sorry.
i still believe that all of the objects and collections he's accumulated because of his fixations are all in hidden places around his room because he's embarrassed of them since like. collecting cute plushies and shopkins isnt a thing the average teenage boy would do. like his closet and the space underneath his bed or even boxes underneath his desk are like portals to another fucking world bro.
#post power reveal kaido and kuboyasu get jealous of tiny saiki riding tiny sick as fuck motorcycles LMFAOOO#everyones jelly that he gets to ride the pink barbie dream cars sorry i dont make the rules#also he def fixated on fnaf as a kid (so did akechi and kaido) but not so much anymore#he played all the games and still knows most of the lore (and owns the books n shit lol) but i wouldnt call it a fixation anymore#i think half the tdlosk friend group collects hot wheels btw#toritsuka for definitely for sure for absolutely for sure#probably also kaido and yumehara#yumehara collects lalaloopsies idc what u say u cant prove me wrong#shes probably also a shopkins collector tbh#omg ??? stop ??? chiyo and kusuo bonding over their toy collections ?? omg.#or collections in general idk they also bond over project sekai so theres prob other things too#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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I have got to get out from under this woman's thumb.
#I want to climb out of my skin i want to run forever until i cant run anymore i want to scream and blow my brains out in front of her#i want to say the most cruel things imaginable to her and they'd all be true#i want to shatter her with the truth and then never look back because leaving again would be the final break for her#and it would be so satisfying#but#more than i want to do things... i have to do things#and that's... survive#and if that means playing the loyal dog to her until i can safely run again#then that's what i have to do#even if it makes me so sick i cant see straight#slutprince.info
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I've sleep on it here's my beef
If you wanna log in to participate in a event that fine, I get for some CC's purgatory 2 isn't lore (I mean it clearly is, but some players are choosing not to involve it in their lore.) But when you've made the discussion not to take part in the lore you can't ask about it on screen.
I literally got confused when someone told me bad had a reason and to check there lastest reblog, thinking the book gave them the reason and apologising, this fully left me thinking that the residents where told to return home until I was discussing with someone else and realized I fully misread that (I need to wear my glasses more TBh)
But this play apart of the problem because what I except was a lore reason and I went looking for it, just to find out later there is no lore reason bad just calls himself vactionbadboy halo when he wants to log in.
Look I get playing purgatory for fun, I get wanting to log in to see your friends, Tubbo did it, and Pac did it; but the difference with them being they made up a reason to be there (the boat didn't leave) is a completely valid reason.
I can see them going home and then later being drag back to the boat by the incompetent egg Island workers, but jumping back and forth to the island in the middle of purgatory is problematic.
If you don't want to take part in the lore then don't, don't ask questions about what's happening lore wise (on stream he can always inquire in dms ) , don't do things on the Island that messes with other people's lore or breaks the immersion make it easy for the actual people who care about the lore; Ie: fan fiction writers, artists, role players (I am all these things) to pretend you're not there!
This sounds dumb but I genuinely, when lore is happening take note of every little the to go "how can I explain this in lore, how could I enhance this in lore" to help with my fan art or fan works.
Genuinely I have a list of game mechanics,(chat, tabs list, death messages) and have written ways to explain them in lore, so you can imagine my annoyance when someone who isn't supposed to be involved ask questions fresh of a lore event.
I think the confusion to add to it is that Phil has been trying to do more improv on the spot right now rp; like leaving cuucurhoo the notice of the eye guy and keeping his webcam on until a big event ( and I love him for that, genuinely I love lore so much because it feeds art and fan fiction)
But I feel like im being taken a fool when someone who isn't technically supposed to be there asks questions about something they're not supposed to be awear of and even bounces of it like they're in lore "yeah it looks like we're going to war with you guys." we who? You're supposed to be Vacation halo, you aren't in purgatory right, if so how did you get home?!
Get what I'm saying? It sucks because everyone else so far seemed to-do A decent job of staying out of lore if they want to visit some committing to not coming back to the island at all (cough* bolas *cough ) .
If you don't wanna take part in the lore don't complicate the already existing lore, it annoynes me greatly.
I don't mind the attenting events so much, it's the fail rping of discussing something you shouldn't know not long after it happened. (Metagaming)
#qsmp#qpurgatory 2#bbh neg#this is why you dont fail rp#like ok i get it its not canon for you#but it is for others#and like you need to respect that#if some players dont have the option to call upon certain people because they been kidnap despite stating they wish they could#i need you to play along and pertend you're not here dont ask about the lore#ignore the image at spawn#is that so much to ask#-50k rp points#you can disagree innthe comments but please dont do it when they intention of getting me to respond and see it your way#i get that you want people to see things your way but let people have opinions#you can state “i disagree cause” but please don't start getting accusatory towards me i domt h#i don't have the time for this#let people have opinions thanks#also if any other creator did this i would be upset#it's not a bbh specific thing its the action that upsets me#i know for a fact to im not the only one who found stuff confusion evem others are saying they cant tell what's canon anymore#like please i need players to work around not wanting to lore#be a good sport please#qsmp discourse
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Wait hold on, in his anniversary video Barbatos mentions the mc being the brother's attendant?
But in the other videos, it's implied that they don't remember the mc leaving (which is actually something im very disappointed about and really hope isnt the case in the actual story)
In these two specifically, it seems like they aren't aware of the mc's presence in the past/alternate timeline/whatever it is. The only other person who seems like they know is Lucifer
Which also lines up with the end of lesson 40, where he's the only one who says welcome back? So like?? Do only him and Barbatos know? Did they not tell anyone?? Diavolo would probably know as well but I haven't seen anything to show that yet. Anyways I don't really like where this is going, I would really prefer they not make everyone forget the mc disappeared
#of course they could always just be not quite putting the pieces together in these scenes#buuuut at this point im not so sure..#i was hoping theyd take a more “WE MISSED YOU” approach#because if im being honest those are some of my favorite moments#like yay everythings better now lets hug it out#i feel weird about them potentially not knowing about what happened#how would they play that off? solomon already said they were freaking out?#“oh whoops we time traveled just far back enough that no one noticed you were gone”#no#do not do that#that defeats the purpose of this whole shenanigan#they also cant just say it was the regular past#because story inconsistencies#solomon has even commented on how its different#hes like “simeon and luke shouldnt be here”#istg if they try to move past that without explaining i will explode#its a very plausible scenario at this point#theyve done it before#because oh does diavolo just not have the power to spot lies anymore?? ok#anyway im scared for the future of the story#this could go wrong in so many ways#obey me!#obey me! swd#obey me lucifer#obey me satan#obey me luke#obey me barbatos#posts#maybe barbatos just merges the timelines again and thats why everyone feels weird#idk im too tired to think more about this
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