#what i'm reading rn:
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i'm actually so bad i need to be reading like 1000 things at once
#what i'm reading rn:#defy me#acomaf#killer instinct#vengeance of the pirate queen#every summer after
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apple season
#my art#tloz#a link to the past#someone close to my school has a rly big apple tree they invite ppl to come in and pick from and I'm already making grabby hands#link#zelda#I was trying to work on my consistency in terms of designs and stuff way back when but like I can't see those csp files rn so rip#they get to have new outfits that's just whatever I thought was fun to draw at the moment thumbs up emoji#I have not actually read the manga but I am taking the orchard I want it too#with a couple way big trees it's what happens when ur out travelling I guess idk idk I'm a cringe city person#Blabbering in tags is So back
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some stories are written precisely to elicit strong emotions from the reader INCLUDING negative ones. some stories and characters are meant to be upsetting, they are meant to challenge you and make you uncomfortable!! when a story makes you feel Big Feelings sometimes you are meant to sit in those feelings and ask yourself why! fiction is a great space to explore these emotions in a safe environment. you, as the reader, are meant to think critically about the art you are enjoying and that includes asking yourself questions like why has the author presented their art in this way and what are they trying to tell me. and then you get to have fun picking it apart and figuring it out and deciding what, exactly, the art means to you.
#this post has been in my drafts since SEPTEMBER and it just gets more and more relevant lately#and sure sometimes we decide in the end that the art is bad and that we don't like it. that's fine. i'm not arguing anyone's right#to dislike certain things. it's fine!!! but why are you acting like it's a personal offense??? what's going on??#like idk what is in the water these days that people have become so averse to Storytelling#the whole POINT is to make you FEEL SOMETHING!!!#why are you getting mad at artists for making you feel something!!!!#between some of the asks i and other authors get to the recent stuff with mouthwashing and epic saga and fucking nosferatu#NOSFERATU. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY???#i really feel like i am losing my mind. i keep thinking of that 'disco elysium but its a little girl looking for her lost cat in the alps'#tweet. like this is really where we're at. people would rather feel Nothing. no one wants to be challenged#no one wants to explore Themes or read social commentary anymore it's so dire#let's all just go read our bland cozy fantasy story with found family and No conflict & nothing interesting to say at all#i'm sure we'll all be safe there#fuck!!!#also this isnt aimed at that anon i got a few days ago this is just like. a general trend i have noticed that is happening Everywhere rn
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i think i really need to learn how to cold quit things... one habit i have that really bothers me is checking my phone first thing in the morning bc it's "just for 5 minutes" "just to see if anyone sent me anything important" no bitch literally nothing on your phone requires you to check your phone first thing when you open your eyes!!! stop it
#i want to keep it cute and say i drink water or some shit but i check my phone THEN drink water guys it's true#i like to think i'm pretty productive / do well w my time bc i get to studying/errands pretty quickly#but sometimes i think about how those minutes spent on my phone could be spent reading the book i said i didn't have time to read#or doing a quick stretching exercise#or just getting myself together before a long day of studying idk. anything really#i need stricter regulations for myself ik it#i am doing good rn but what is good if u could literally be the best just by being off ur phone more
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I SWEAR CELEBI'S THINGY IS COMING SOON BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS ALRIGHT
yeaah... future trio got me too...
and Darkrai is there too, because of course he is.
hey look i drew a cute Drifloon :D
...ignore the rest
whatever started at Darkrai doodles ended in brainrot of future trio + darkrai and I'm blaming @scribz-ag24 for this
#Can you believe between the first pic and the 4th pic is only a week inbetween. I sure can't but like why did I mirror the pose...#ON ACCIDENT??? Everytime I look at the two Grovyles I'm like... how... how did they end up so differently???#also probably blaming @cozybells as well for this but I really fear tagging people so I'm just letting y'all know in the tags because#I do wanna let everyone know who inspired me when someone did <333 better get running [you know who you are!!!!] DusnoirXDarkrai is next...#also: upon seeing scribz-ag24's art my brain said: You need to color too! ah yeah that went well with the doodle batch#I really hope you're able to read everything with how messy I can write sometimes. If not please let me know and I'll add sth in this post!#Also the doodle batch was the first thing I drew so well... never drew dusknoir before and grovyle once i think...#please go easy on me I have yet to explore the relationship between literally everyone😭 and I have no idea what I‘m doing and I'm a little#lost I normally only draw King Boo or Darkrai but I'm sure scribz-ag24 sprinkling in bits of Darkrai got me in love with the future trio to#grovyle#future trio#celebi#darkrai#dusknoir#pmd hero#pokemon#drifloon#totodile#my art#my stuff#tagas friend spoiler#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#IS THERE A SHIP NAME FOR FUTURE TRIO... there must be. ...oh... is it just...#futuretrioshipping#i feel sooo stupid rn.#also everytime i drew darkrai i had evil spiteful bastard in mind (except for the one with an arrow pointing out he's redeemed) but i think#i literally mixed every possible version of him in my head so got absolutely no clue what i'm doing :D#anyways i hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading through my ramblings! Have such a wonderful rest of the day yippiee <333#pmd2
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we get a little silly
#project sekai#pjsk#proseka#emu otori#prsk#i was SO sleepy yesterday after class i couldnt draw or sketch so i blocked this out of color very silly style#i love drawing like that and other artists make it look so good i'm not great at it but its fun from time to time. she silly!#nenes cardigan patch is a seashell bc i didnt know how to draw robot head. soz.#i will never miss emu heart hair strand. believe it.#my first class was late in the evening + ive been jumping around on all of my comms so i havent drawn mych personal. i sleepy#my semester staarted yesterday so my biweekly posts will become um maybe monthly who knows. more like whenever i wnat which is what i do rn#if youre reading this i wuv you.#the early birthday emu.. but she will get more. just u waits.
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Gave my pfp a bit of a glow up!!
Neat to see the one year improvement
#my art#i'm too impatient to wait for the exact day but this is pretty much exactly a year since my first post#i had just read nona the ninth and i had so many fanart ideas#i was also at my parent's house for the holiday staying in their freezing cold basement guest room#so i was down there drawing at like 3 am next to a space heater#anyways this year i'm back in the same exact situation so the vibes inspired me#unfortunately i didn't think ahead enough to bring ntn with me (i do have htn tho lol) otherwise i would absolutely reread it rn#like it's silly what it's come to represent for me but i love these nona drawings so much#the locked tomb#nona the ninth
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I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#idk man- i just see a lot of “Lan Wangji has always been protecting Wei Wuxian” posts and its like...#I mean... Lan Wangji has always certainly been trying to protect Wei Wuxian#it took him a long time to figure how to successfully do that though#rereading the books rn and noticing theres a lot of instances that could be read as lwj being frustrated over his inability to protect wwx#like he seemed ready to cry when wwx went missing for a while and then came back with the cursed leg#lwj has always been great at protecting wwx from physical threats (ex: waterborn abyss) but had no idea how to protect him from himself#meanwhile wwx has always been instictually good at saving lwj from both#like I'm 100% lwj would've become like Jiang Cheng if wwx hadn't snapped him out of the blindly following authority thing#and also like... 15 y/o lwj wasnt happy with his life. he was lonely and stressed and literally signing up to be flogged whenever he goofed#wwx is who allowed lwj to grow up by showing him what it was like to actually be a kid (shown in story whenever lwj gets drunk)#he led lwj to having a more flexible mindset. and it both let lwj relax and set lwj up to be a better parent#looking into lwj's dynamic with the juniors- he lets them break a fuck ton of the petty rules and encourages them to question authority#he also teaches them to not be married to any one meathod of problem solving#wwx is also able to save lwj from his own stubbornness#ex: carrying lwj when he broke his leg. getting lwj to cough up bad blood. getting lwj to keep the rabbits#wwx also tends to give lwj the words he has trouble saying himself. helps him communicate#wwx also protects lwj in fights a lot but thats narratively less important#except the various times wwx puts himself in danger to help lwj. those times are what made it so lwj could never move on from wwx#like with the cave incident#or when wwx helped surpress the arm instead of using the chaos to escape cloud recesses#tldr i guess: i think this fandom tends to treat lwj being the best like its natural to him when really wwx accidentaly rewired his brain#I'm looking directly at fanfic writers who act like the Lans would've treated wwx better than the Jiangs#lwj had to do so much work and self reflection post meeting wwx to be the way he is. he is not the sole product of the Lan teachings
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man laios and toshiro's/shuro's dynamic is incredibly compelling to me on multiple levels
when you look at them, you can see the cultural and personal barriers that drive almost every single aspect of their relationship, both positively and negatively. laios is incredibly outspoken and driven by his passions, which he expresses freely even in the face of annoyance and/or criticism- he's allowed to be as authentically himself as he pleases, and it's this drive that allows him and the others to survive as long as they have, especially due to the fact that these passions and interests are intertwined with his skills as a dungeon diver. toshiro, in contrast, is incredibly reserved, not only due to his eastern upbringing but also his status as nobility- a combo of cultures that both demand that one save face, to avoid conflict at any cost, even at the expense of one's own feelings and individuality. this, in turn, has made toshiro the perfect samurai, as he's politely-spoken, agreeable, and an honorable, skilled man. both are also incredibly devoted to falin on different levels, having come to accomplish the same mission of her rescue despite drifting apart from the party.
on the flipside, it's these same strengths that cause them to clash- laios is outspoken but unable to truly decipher the emotions of others, leading to a lot of false assumptions and frustration from those who interact with him. toshiro is stoic but to the point of complacency, leading to a aggressively neutral disposition that's ushered by the needs and wants of others, rather than himself. neither man truly knows where they stand with the people important to them in their lives, and hold the ones that they do know how they feel with a fierce admiration expressed in ways that aren't always traditional.
in the end, they both share a growing feeling of isolation from other people that comes to a head when they meet again in the depths of the dungeon, and they both have different ways of coping with the frustrations that arise, seeing the other as only the things they have seen face to face.
it's laios' ability to express himself emotionally without consequence that sparks jealousy in toshiro, leading to a physical fight born out of miscommunication and envy. while toshiro is a driving force in the conflict, it should be noted that the actual fight is started by laios, breaking the dam of indirect communication through force. nothing is more direct than a slap to the face, and it's only after they start hitting each other that toshiro's true feelings come to light.
however, at the end of it all, toshiro is the one who stops torturing himself, listening to laios and giving him the bell, allowing laios and his party entrance into his homeland should they need it, and ultimately giving him support in his mission to defeat the dungeon mage, albeit in his own way. despite it all, they're still good friends with a conflict that boiled over, but came out the other end with a slightly better understanding of each other. the fight was painful for both of them, but it was a necessity for their dynamic to improve, and for them to be made aware of their faults and improve as individuals as well.
but also, if you think about it, their dynamic is literally just this
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#shuro#shuro dungeon meshi#character analysis#anyways toshiro haters with surface level takes get the hell off my lawn boy#i hope you know this entire character analysis was born out of the realization that i'd seen this dynamic before in a different light#and i thought. man. what is the funniest comparison i could make here rn. and i'm still right abt it btw#oh yeah also of course the autism read is still there#as an autistic person myself they don't read at all like neurotypical v autism. they read a LOT more like autism v autism#you know how people with autism either get along REALLY well with other people with autism or repel each other with a force#yeah they're basically that. to me#reading toshiro as autistic with the immigrant lens btw makes him even more compelling to read that way#but that is an analysis for another time#man i missed writing these#dungeon meshi spoilers#i should tag this actually. bc i’m right#laishuro
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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need more challengers fics where they actually are at least half as toxic as they are in the movie. tashi told art she would leave him if he lost a tennis match and refused to say i love you and cheated on him twice. art got right in the middle of patrick and tashi's relationship didn't speak to patrick for years after and then told him he wasn't even a peer and didn't matter when they finally saw each other again. patrick decided he was going to fuck with both of them by sleeping with tashi and then basically announced this to art mid tennis match. like i know these people would not deal with any of this or any of their other baggage before entering a relationship. can you imagine trying to hardlaunch a throuple that toxic. it's delicious. why do i keep seeing challengers triad fluff. as if art wouldn't think neither of them actually love or even care about him once he retires but would still do anything to keep them from leaving him and patrick wouldn't be insanely dickish and mean because he's desperate to prove he's not just the washed-up tagalong to his situationship's eight-year failmarriage that should have been his and tashi wouldn't be furious with them both for not being happy instantly when she feels like she's given them all she can give and furious with herself for having both of them and it still not being enough. please. these people are HOT but more importantly they are UNWELL.
#it's not that i don't think they'd make an incredible throuple#it's that every time i read a fic where they're functional i'm like. we've skipped a step. they would not be like this.#challengers#fics where they have problems....... yes......... ha ha yes.........#big fan of when everything changes by vokdas rn#like yessss art is incapable of telling them what he needs bc it's too embarrassing to ask to be loved when he can't play tennis for them 😍#i <3 messy ships they are so fun
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I don't get how people can just talk about their interests?? Like you have actual thoughts about it and you're able to express them correctly?? Mines are just a high-pitched "AAAAAAAH" and "it's so awesome it's so awesome and this guy does this and the other does that and IT'S. SO. AWESOME."
#Hamilton#Ninjago#skylanders academy#Trollhunters#Tales of Arcadia#Nimona#She-ra#winx club#Winx#World of winx#Avatar#last airbender#dragons#Uhhh what else???#young justice#I'm not really feeling the aster rn#Big hero 6 probably#Maybe sonic boom#Villain To Kill. Definitely villain to kill#Locke and Key. I love the comics and I've read them all twice and if I had more time I'd had read them at least twice more#And whole we're on it. Music. I love music like a lot.
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I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!
and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!
#my dc posting#dc#robin#batman#like. if you want to tell a story and not worry abt the child endangerement thing just DONT BRING IT UP ???#all you're doing when you bring it up is telling me this is something i'm allowed to think abt when it comes to the story#and then you tell me Um Actually It's Fine ?? no! what the fuck are you talking about!!#i am tryinggggg to just have fun n read fics your lil “isnt that child endangerement and kinda fucked up?” “no actually they wouldve done i#anyways bla bla bla batman couldnt have stopped them bla bla bla''#is COUNTERPRODUCTIVEEE#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#<- tagging the robins sorry#sorry this just. this topic annoys me so much#...also ''batman couldnt have stopped them/they wouldve done it with or without him'' are literally#just factually incorrect in jason's case. he did not in fact start on his own and the only thing batman wouldve#needed to do to stop him is literally just NOT make him robin BUT- at this point im just beating a dead horse on that topic#w how many times i bring it up lmao#like. in real life you cant just knock a person unconscious for hours with no consequences on them.#but i dont care when it happens in fiction despite being not realistic!! bc its fiction!!!#unless of course the characters out of nowhere do a lil sidequest PSA abt how actually doing that is fine#and completely safe with no risks#yknow??#like if that happened id be annoyed and like no its fucking not fine why are you trying to convince me. just move on and dont bring it up#and I wont bring it up#anyway. yeah these are just some thoughts im having rn sorry its not more coherent and put-together i cant be assed rn lmao
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thinking about how all the gayest scenes between Bilbo and Thorin were added to the movies. Thinking about how Bilbo and Thorin didn't even have more than two seconds of talking to each other in the book. Thinking about-
#I'm reading the Hobbit RN and I'm only on the seventh chapter but DAMN right#All the gay scenes were from the movies. How funny is that#They were just like “yeah the Hobbit is great what if we made the views question if Thorin and Bilbo explored each other's bodies”#You know what I mean#Like the only person Bilbo has interacted with this entire time besides Gandalf has been Dori#And that's because Bilbo is a cringefail loser and he keeps on having to carry him#And he fucking hates it but he's too polite to let Bilbo die lmfao#I love this sm man#the hobbit#bilbo#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bagginshield
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buffy au where when buffy sacrificed herself that one time (the big time) her death led to cordelia getting called as the next slayer. and that's how angel and co find out buffy died. aaaand post
#sorry i'm just reading more comics rn#what do you MEAN au fred gets to be a slayer but not cordy#unbelievable#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#ats#angel the series#things i said
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