#what i have to do to get it back) is like. zero. but anyways i have to go to college without a phone
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
# āTHE WOMAN WAS TOO STUNNED TO SPEAKā¦ā āā .ā¦ ( batboys w an unhinged!reader and blunt!reader )
a/n: this is from my little brain of mine , and I like to honor it for @kyriakis anywhoo Iām back and omg 1k?! Alsoo guys dw! Iām gonna do the event tomorrow && Iām gonna pick out some prompts I have organized, so i didn't forget okay but i just got a lot of DMs asking when Iām gonna do it for you guyss so yeah itās gonna be tomorrow since Iām gonna re-edit + add some ideas of your guys votes!! Tags: (batboys x unhinged!reader)
Ā© dollishmehrayan ā ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )
DICK GRAYSON āā .ā¦
Heās always caught off guard but loves it. Your bluntness is a breath of fresh air for Dick, whoās so used to diplomatic conversations. You say whateverās on your mind with zero filter, and heās like, āOh, wow. Okay. I respect it.ā
Hates it when you donāt hold back with him. Heās used to being the charming, funny guy who makes everyone laugh, but you hit him with a āThat was dumb, donāt do that againā and his brain short circuits for a second. āYou canāt just say that!ā āWhy not?ā
Finds it hilarious when you wreck other peopleās egos. You have zero time for anyoneās nonsense, and when someone messes up, you let them know. Dickās in the background, trying not to laugh. āDo you not think before you speak?!ā¦ā Heās always acts so shocked but hey, heās kinda enjoying it unless itās aimed at him. (He canāt fight verbally for the life of him without saying some cringe shit)
Doesnāt even try to change you. Dick knows what heās getting into, and he loves you for it. Heās never going to ask you to ātone it down.ā He actually finds your unapologetic attitude pretty hot.
Heās 50% worried youāll get into trouble, 50% impressed. But in the end, heāll always back you up, saying, āSheās just honest. Get used to it.ā
JASON TODD āā .ā¦
Finally, someone who speaks his language. Jason lives for the fact that you donāt care what people think. He loves how blunt you are, especially when you cut through the BS with the precision of a sharp knife.
Gets protective when people try to push your boundaries. If someone dares disrespect you, Jasonās the first one to step in. āYouāve got a problem with her? Youāve got a problem with me.ā, āJason that was so fucking cringey..ā
Appreciates that you don't sugarcoat things for him. Youāll tell him exactly how it is, whether itās about his attitude or a bad decision he made, and he respects it, itās like the tt sound where āthatās when it hit me, it was the best idea I ever had..ā but like this: āNot gonna lie, that was a terrible plan, Jay,ā and heāll just nod. āFair.ā
You guys have the most chaotic, weirdest conversations. Itās a mix of witty banter, ridiculous one-liners, and deadpan sarcasm. Other people canāt even keep up with the energy.
The idea of dating a āgood girlā never appealed to him anyway. He thrives off your unhinged energy. Youāre unpredictable, and it keeps him on his toes, which he loves. āYeah, youāre definitely not boring.ā (Although the thing is he does love innocent people, like if youāre like gen clueless he wants preserve your innocence.)
TIM DRAKE āā .ā¦
Timās brain canāt keep up with you. Your blunt, no-nonsense attitude constantly makes him blink in confusion. One minute youāre casually roasting someone, and the next, youāre giving a straight-up critique of his latest plan. Heās learning that he canāt outthink you.
He admires your unapologetic honesty. Tim has a lot of internalized doubts, so watching you casually reject anyoneās judgment is a nice contrast. You donāt apologize for your thoughts, and itās something he secretly admires.
Constantly second-guesses himself around you. Your sharp tongue makes him want to be as confident as you. He gets nervous about saying anything that might sound soft, so when he stumbles, youāre like, āWhat was that? I swear you just whispered something.ā And heāll blush hard, muttering an apology.
You both have a sarcastic sense of humor that others donāt quite get. You say something outrageous, and Tim will respond with the driest remark possible. People in the room often wonder if you two are joking or just genuinely a bit rude.
Not scared to call him out. When Timās too nice, youāll be like, āYou need to stop letting people walk all over you. Grow some teeth.ā Tim wonāt admit it, but that does motivate him to be a little bolder.
DAMIAN WAYNE āā .ā¦
Damian is a bit taken aback at first. Heās used to people being respectful or like seeing him as kinda a role model, so when you come out with a āThatās dumb, donāt even talk to me right now,ā heās not sure how to handle it. He will stand there, blinking, while processing your bluntness. (Heās too stunned to speak š)
Genuinely respects your forthrightness, though. āIāll admit, I have never met someone soā¦ honest.ā He starts respecting you even more, thinking youāre someone he canāt manipulate or charm easily.
Loves that youāre as stubborn as he is. If youāre determined about something, thereās no changing your mind. Youāll fight for your opinions even if it gets you into a heated debate. And Damianās right there with you, arguing like itās the most fun thing in the world.
Tries to match your bluntness. āYou talk too much,ā he says one day, and you immediately reply, āAnd yet, here you are, listening to every word I say.ā Damian actually pauses for a second, impressed. āRight..ā
Loves how youāll shut down his critics with zero hesitation. Someone says something disrespectful to him, and youāll be the first to shoot back, āHe doesnāt need your advice, trust me.ā Heāll give you a proud little smirk. āI like the way you handle things.ā
BRUCE WAYNE āā .ā¦
At first, Bruce is a bit disconcerted by your bluntness. Bruceās the kind of guy who expects people to be formal and classy, and you just come in with āThis entire meeting is a waste of my time. I donāt care about any of this.ā He blinks, then quietly admires your bravery.
Totally respects your unfiltered honesty. Bruce has had enough of the worldās games, so when you donāt bother to pretend or hold anything back, itās like a breath of fresh air for him.
Secretly loves when you donāt play nice." He knows you're not afraid of saying what you think, and when you call him out on his brooding or overly protective behavior, he listens. āYouāre right. Iām sorry for not trusting you more.ā (He totally doesnāt have a tracker on your hair clip..š„°)
You both have moments of pure savage honesty that no one else gets. Thereās no need for filters, and youāll both exchange one-liners so dry that it leaves everyone else in the room confused.
Finds it endearing when you make his plans more interesting. āThis is ridiculous. Why are we doing this again?ā You snap at him in a room full of his board members, and he just gives you a look that says, āIām never apologizing for you.ā
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#batboys#dc#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson#red hood x reader#red hood#nightwing x reader#nightwing#nightwing imagine#nightwing headcanon#jason todd headcanon#red hood imagine#red hood headcanon#tim drake x reader#tim drake#tim drake imagine#tim drake headcanon#red robin x reader#red robin#damain wayne x reader#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne#damian al ghul x reader#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson headcanon#dcu
562 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Okay psych nerd here who is not going to bloat this with a tag explanation and instead just write the thing:
The answer is two things -
Dehumanization / Distancing from Humanity
Moral Psychology
Here's an example in action. So I'm sure everyone knows about the Trolley Problem - you are standing near a train track at the track switch, an out of control train barrelling down the rails. On one of the tracks, are a group of men working on the rails (or tied to the rails if you prefer the image version). If you do nothing, it will collide with the group of people and kill them. On the other hand, if you use the switch and change the track, it'll instead kill just one person. This one people can reasonably complete, the usual choice being kill one to save five or whatever.
But here is another version. The Fat Man Trolley Problem (not my wording). In this version of the Trolley Problem, you are standing on a bridge overpass of a traintrack. Next to you is a very large man. Below you, are the five workmen. The train is out of control, but you realise if you push the fat man off the bridge and onto the track, his mass will be enough to stop the train and save the five people on the track. What do you do?
Naturally, this one prompted visceral reactions from people it was pitched to in studies - which begs the question, how is this version different from the switch problem? In both problems, you have the choice to sacrifice one to save many, but the mere thought of having to physically push another person onto the tracks crosses a line.
That's because a switch distances you from the situation, in a sense, you are removed from the humanity in the decision making and it's pure logic. Harm is a side-effect of flicking the switch, in a way you are less involved. Having to push the man, however, is forcing you to confront the human-ness of the situation, to look someone in the face and make that decision.
A lot of the problems in the world, and their respective government entities who are supposed to be fixing them, often have zero experience in the very thing they're supposed to be solving. They're sitting in an office, far, far away looking at a bunch of numbers spat out by a consulting agency while there are homeless in the streets. The switch they pull is so far away they can't even see the people their decisions affect. And if they think less of the people they are making decisions over, like the very, very, very obviously misplaced idea that homelessness is somehow caused by moral failing - that will distance them from the humanity of the situation even further.
I think back to an article I read about someone who had lost their husband to suicide after many, many, many years struggling, went to a conference regarding mental health. The participants of this conference would be the ones making major decisions that would affect the health and outcomes of other people. She confronts one of them, and asks them - have you ever been affected by depression? have you ever had someone in your family been affected?
He seemed shocked and startled. But he answered no.
That should say everything. Anyway this is why I think it should be mandatory for anyone forming country-wide, dramatically-impactful policies in government, especially regarding minorities and poverty - should have a MANDATORY amount of hours they have to spend per year with said people who will be affected by their decisions. And none of this distanced hand shaking for the cameras, I mean living that experience as closely as possible.
It's not that humanity is dead. It's not that we get up with the intention of causing harm every day. It's just a fact of psychological distancing that causes us to lose our connection with it. This can be unintentional, but sometimes it is intentional. It's often a tactic in war propaganda, to cast the enemy in such an evil light that the idea of killing many to protect or save your people - even if it's women and children, and disabled and elderly people, and civilians - is somehow justified.
So the next time you vote or support a cause or whatever in your life that may end up influencing the situation of people, outside of your known experience - stop for a moment, and have a think about what it is like for those individuals. If you had to physically go to them, and look them in the eyes - would you make the same decisions?
Also vote for people with lived experience into those positions to make the decisions when you can!
It confuses me how normalized it is to be so anti human. The fact that two countries voted no to food being a human right. The fact so many people are against universal healthcare. The fact that itās normal to believe some people donāt deserve housing because theyāre poor, addicts, mentally ill, or any combination of the above. I find it so hard to comprehend that humans who have experienced hunger, thirst, cold, and illness would wish these things upon others, or at the very least not care. It frustrates me beyond belief.
These are the exact values weāre taught as children, to believe all humans are equal in worth and needs, and yet at some point youāre expected to grow out of that illusion. Youāre expected to accept that this is what lifeās like, that the world is unfair, and attempting to fix it makes you weak and childish.
#psychology#social commentary#knowing this helps me feel better about humanity cause it's often not malice it's ignorance + fun psychological quirks we can't help#but there are people who deliberately distance themselves and actually /fear/ confrontation with the reality that's being lived#this is why you get billionaires doubling down on insane statements - they're using a switch that might as well be on another PLANET#they also double down because it's psychologically perceived as a threat - that their idea might be wrong and makes them a bad person#brains will bend over backwards to keep that homeostatic nice feeling going#even if it means believing a lie#even if it means committing genocide#the most proactive thing you can do is pushback and confront these people making decisions#make them look you in the eyes#also re: wanting to fix the thing makes you childish - I think it's a lot of media oversaturation basically giving us compassion fatigue#so anyone seeing it happen is like 'why bother' and may put you down for it to amend their OWN cognitive dissonance they're the bad person#suicide mention#suicide tw#not detailed just very loosely mentioned
5K notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
Could I request Savanaclaw, 2, Fluff?
I hope I did it right
I'm locking in and gonna finish the last few tonight
King of the... Kitchen? || Leona Kingscholar
For the Holiday Event! || Theme: Cooking/Baking together ; Genre: Fluff (+ a little comedy)
"Come on, Leona. It'll be fun," you coaxed, nudging his shoulder gently.
He raised an eyebrow, looking about as enthused as a lion being asked to herd sheep. "Why would I waste my time baking a cake when I could be napping?"
You crossed your arms, a smirk tugging at your lips. "Fine. I'll just ask Malleus, then. Iām sure heād love to help."
Leona's ears twitched, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Like hell you will."
Before you could blink, he was already rolling up his sleevesāthough the grumble under his breath made it clear he wasnāt thrilled about it. āLetās get this over with.ā
You bit back a laugh, silently congratulating yourself for knowing exactly how to rile him up.
As it turned out, Leona in the kitchen was both a blessing and a disaster waiting to happen.
āI donāt see why we canāt just throw everything in the bowl and call it a day,ā he said, scooping the flour with no regard for the measuring cup.
āThatās not how baking works!ā you protested, snatching the sugar before he could upend the entire bag into the mix.
He shrugged, unbothered, and dumped the wet ingredients straight into the dry ones with zero finesse. āItās all gonna end up in the same place anyway.ā
āYouāre impossible.ā You sighed, grabbing a whisk and trying to salvage the batter.
āYeah, yeah. Keep stirring.ā Leona leaned against your back, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder. āYouāre doing great, herbivore.ā
āYouāre not even helping!ā
āIām supervising.ā His voice was low and amused, sending a shiver down your spine.
You huffed but couldnāt fight the smile tugging at your lips. Despite his laziness, having him close like this made your heart feel warmālike the holidays themselves.
When the cake finally emerged from the oven, though, your festive mood took a sharp turn.
āWhatā¦ is that?ā you asked, staring at the dense, brick-like monstrosity sitting on the counter.
Leona raised an eyebrow, poking it experimentally. It didnāt budge. āItās a cake. Obviously.ā
āNo, itās a weapon of mass destruction."
Even Ruggie, who prided himself on eating just about anything, took one look and backed away. āYeah, uhā¦ you two enjoy that. Iāll pass.ā
You and Leona exchanged a look.
āWell,ā he said, smirking, āguess thereās only one thing to do with it.ā
A few hours later, Headmaster Crowley found a neatly wrapped package on his desk, tied with a festive bow and a note that read: āHappy Holidays! Enjoy this handmade treat with all our love!ā
As you and Leona watched from the doorway, stifling your laughter, Crowley took a cautious biteāand immediately reached for a glass of water.
āPerfect holiday gift,ā Leona murmured, his tail swishing smugly.
You leaned into him, grinning. āMaybe next year we should just stick to store-bought.ā
āOr just let that lizard do it,ā he teased, earning a playful shove.
Even with the chaos, you wouldnāt trade this momentāor himāfor anything.
Masterlist
#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#leona x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#leona#twst leona#leona kingscholar#š ą£ŖĖ Ö“Ö¶Öøš holiday event
188 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
help two disabled trans women eat and pay rent! (again...!)
hey it's your favorite local broke girl again!! happy new year, and here's to another year of begging on the internet so you don't starve!!! (just kidding i am so fucking tired and i want that to stop! lol) in all seriousness i don't know how we would've made it through the past two years without your help. it's... very difficult to figure out how to move on when people you thought you could trust in a very vulnerable period of your life just kinda.. put the person you love most in mortal danger and ruin your life. we survived but...
fuck it this isnt a journal post sorry. probably the lack of meds making me just say shit. anyway i have what is hopefully (send me luck please) a really good shot at getting an actual job soon and then i could hopefully just!! stop doing this!! and get back to doing art and the things i love and working through my heaping commission backlog (ty so much for your patience im so sorry)
but for now, we still have zero income. please, i know i've asked every month for the past year and then some, but this is the only way we can keep what little hold we have on things for now. if you can, please consider donating to help us make rent (around $600) and get groceries. if you can't, please consider spreading this post anyway. that's the thing that gets us help.
PP / VM / CA
i feel like i ran out of ways to thank everyone who's helped out so far, but i'll just say it again because i still feel so so lucky and grateful to have support through this mess: Thank you. <3
88 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Hello lovely fandom! Itās tiiimmeeeee. Iām so ready for this premiere. This hiatus felt like the longest one yet. Probably cause they werenāt allowed to share literally anything for months and months. While I might still gripe weāre only getting 18 and 20 wouldāve been betterā¦.I am psyched to be analyzing a new season ā¤ļø
Changing these up to First impressions cause mini and I donāt get along in terms of brevity. Now imma try and be briefer since Iāll be doing a deep dive next summer. Hopefully in our next hiatus. *fingers crossed* The library still a turd for new gifs. So had to make all mine. Also I must have a new angle at my new place. So they came out not how I wanted lol But after a full day of work I was too tired to re-do them all. It's a miracle this is coming out with how tired I am haha Anyways bear with me and hopefully next weeks gifs are better ha Off we go!
7x01 The Shot.
Cool thanks recap. Not like we forgot the breakup that ruined us allā¦Would like to say someday that won't ruin me to watch, but that's a lie...Love that to leave the lineup for recaps now. Thanks.
It's the little things like them sitting next to each other in the swat car that make me so happy. Not gonna lie I was grinning like a damn fool just seeing them seated together. God I missed them. Straight giddy them working together in the field. Itās where they originated. Itās where theyāre going to heal.
I love her directing him in the field. That snap of her fingers and he knows instantly what she needs and follows. That beautiful rhythm only they can achieve. Silent communication at it's finest folks. Mmm loving this. Lucy taking down a dude double her size and Tim coming in to help finish him off. Hot damn I love them in the field. Legit ship crack to me everyone. Look at those beautiful humans in motion above. I can't get enough.
Oooh lord T.O Tim *fans self* Mmm Canāt say havenāt missed him. I'll be real honest. Yum. Thank you Nolan for not undermining him while he sized them up. We would've had words sir. It probably shouldn't delight me watching him tear them apart, and yet here we are with me drooling over him. With zero regrets. Just nice to see him in his element after being knocked out of it last year. I shall enjoy this year for him I can already tell.
Ha! Bingo card hit. That's one square down. āGrey guides Lucy with her career.ā Yasss Iām a dork I know but you all knew this ha Grey pulling strings to get her to T.O. "Temp." Iām sure itāll stick. He seeās what a good teacher and leader she is. Look at him jumping starting this for her. Nudging her in the right direction.
Lucy not being sure....Still battling with that UC identity and detective path. Some left over S6 bleh hanging around. I think Grey is setting her path and she has no idea how ānot temporaryā this will be. At least IMO. I see her excelling at this and wanting to stay at it. Plus like Grey said itāll strengthen her position should detective come back up. Also like to list the reasons why I think this will be good for her.
One it'll rebuild her confidence. Something we all know was shattered and then run over by s6. Second it'll give her a new purpose and clarity for her career. (Which is also a bingo square for me. Yes I'll be tallying mine all year lol) Now she has to accept being a FT one for it to apply but I think it will. Lastly it'll get rid of the pesky 'Chain of Command' issue for them later on. Because we don't want that again.
Tim enters the chat and he is a most welcome addition. The mini banter about her training. I'm here for it and I love love love it. Look at the flirty smirks on these idiots. Like breathing fresh air once again. The small smirks have me reeling. Gimme. Grey although has no time for this LOL Ushering their asses out. Just happy they can breathe the same air again and not have it be nuclear.
Then the real banter begins. Iāve missed them so much. I wanna cry. Tim instantly offering to give her tips. Is this one of his small doses? Possibly I think he wouldāve offered this as an olive branch either way tbh. But I love seeing how eager he is to bond with her over this. Lucyās so cute with her ā My rookie.ā Girl youāre gonna wanna stay a T.O. I already see it.
Lucy of course has her sassy answer locked and loaded for him. He answers right back. Goodness their banter is top tier. And woo another bingo card for me. Well this was not in my official bingo card. BUT I did say how if she ended up as a T.O. this season this would happen. In my 6x08 review said they would end up doing a bet over who trains a better rookie. And here we are. I'm enjoying my spoils and grinning like a happy fool. Which is nice after spending the second half of s6 being emotionally spent and destroyed.
Oh Lucy, like you could ever walk way from your man about a competitive bet of all things. This is how theyāre gonna heal my friends. Going back to the beginning. To their roots. Where this rock solid bond was started. In the field. Along with some banter and fiery competition thrown in. This new dynamic has me so giddy I canāt even contain myself.
You can see how excited Tim is sheās going to be a T.O. With him. Flirting with her by offering this up. Moth to a flame with her in general. But this? Man is raring to go. Being a T.O and competition with this girl? He is is beaming with excitement. Also probably knows this is a good way to further his cause of mending fences.
The goading of her oh my lord. Itās s4 all over again and Iām here for it. Except Tim is far more aware heās in love with this woman. The straight teasing and flirting in front of the entire station. Welcome back. Oh my word I love sfm. His telling smirk is amazing. Reeling her back in slowly LOL
Nolan actually ignites more flirty flirts for them when he tells them about the ringer. Because classic John can't shut his yapper. Iāve truly missed this high grade goodness though. Lucy accusing him of hustling her haha Tim deescalates her like only he can with his strong logic. Saying it's actually harder that he has previous experience. Heās not wrong. First thing I thought about him when they said he had experienceā¦Poor Seth called a virgin lmao
The rookies get assigned and we get jealous/protective Tim. Welcome back to our screens. You've been missed. *grabs ice water* This premiere is trying to kill me in the best way. I was here for the show. You tell that cocky little boy babe. I think someone else had one of the rookies flirts with Lucy in their bingo card. So you get that square ha The balls to do that in front of Tim. This kid has a death wish on wheels.
Ovary explosion at the way he barked at him though. Man is making me thirsty af. Also this kid is not a ringer in the least. I know what itās like to de-program someone. Itās not easy. When I would get someone from another team (and terrible manager btw) I would spend the first 30 days just getting rid of the bad habits before I could begin to mold them. So ringer he is not....Lucy has a better shot with fresh meat tbh. Seth is far more impressionable. Hence her finishing line above.
Tim TEARS Texas a new one. Was kind of hoping he would. Nothing like a solid Tim T.O. rant. This kid needed it holy cow. Too damn cocky for a rookie even with experience. Makes it worse. Get em Tim! Iām enjoying this far too much. Haha Mmm. Sidelines his ass as he should. Maybe he can rejoin when his ego is in check.
This scene had me cackling. First off look at them both with crossed arms. I'm dying. Also Lying liars who lie LOL Both struggling a little bit with their rookies. Itās hilarious. Canāt ever admit fault of course. Very s4 vibes going on here I love it sfm.
Friggin Nolan has to be include himself...Listen John they checked the guest list for this work flirt convo. You're not on it sir. So needy this one. He actually didn't bug me much at all in this one. Probably the lack of Bailey....
Timās final T.O scene has me drooling holy hell. The jacket, the stern taking to, and telling them to suck less? Iām dying hahaha I loved how this was shot. Seeing the faces as Tim grills them both. Putting them in place. I love it sfm I'm so VERY excited for this season for him. If this was our look into it I am ready for more.
Oh my word, this final scene of theirs. If you donāt feel giddy, and a sense of promise for reconciliation from this interaction, I can't help you. LOL. I mean that in the nicest way haha I really do. The subtext running through this scene like a bullet train of hope. The moment begins with puppy dog Tim. Letās take a second to contrast how he just was with the rookies earlier. To seeing his girl in the parking lot. That's the Lucy Chen effect.
That man is walking on air, and beaming his best āLucyā smile as he approaches her car, looking like a damn snack I wanna devour. I adore the swapping of stories. Giving each other shit but staying confident in their abilities to right their rookies ships as it were. Lucy saying āTomorrow is another day.ā With Timās hopeful āYes it is.ā Got me all in my damn feels. To me itās a positive setup for the entire season. The low key flirty vibes here are glorious first and foremost. Second the flirting inside the promise with those two lines has me reeling.
The smiles they both convey just shows our babies are healing. Lucy is healing. She isnāt holding back with the positivity and flirting right back. There is this underlying UST too. But the most beautiful part is their talk about 'Tomorrow'. Tomorrow is another day for them to get one step closer to being who they once were. Only stronger. Timās 'Yes it is.' Is everything. His tone of voice, how heās looking at her, and that determination to make something out of every day he gets with her. Driven to make tomorrow a day he inches one step closer to the promise he made in the elevator in 6x10. Oooh lord Iām excited for this season.
I said couple days ago how amped I was for this new dynamic. Them being T.Oās together and finding their way back in this fashion. Itās a fantastic and true to them way to do it. Couldnāt be more excited. The LOOKS everyone my god. The way he is pining after her. Doesnāt tear eyes away for a second as she pulls off. And our girl checks the mirror not once but TWICE.
Making eyes right back at him. This scene should excite the hell out of you. Iām scaling the walls right now haha This is as a very very promising opening episode for them. Little more proof they're going to make their way back. Won't be right away but it's coming. This is what I was longing for when we left off all those months ago.
For them to be in a better place to even start this healing. Iām so ready for this journey. I really am. Trusting the writers to do this at the right pace. So when it does happen and it will. Weāre gonna be on cloud 9 x1000 Ooof lord that was good. They know how to close out an ep our ship. Watched promo for next ep. Iām vibrating with excitement.
The UST I feel from that little clip is the beauty of Eric and Melissa. This season gonna be incredible i feel it deep in my soul baha Now Iām excited we donāt have a break now that weāre here. As always thank you thank you thank you. To any and all who comments(love me to chat donāt be shy wanna theorize with you all) , like or reblog these. You have no idea how much it means to me. Also proud of myself for keeping this brief ish for me lol Below is my side notes feel free to comment on anything said in this or below till next week my lovely fandom :)
~~
Side notes non Chenford
No Bailey in a the premiere was already staring off with a win for me. Sorry Jenna but ya know lol sorta notā¦.reallyā¦
Lieutenant Grey! So happy for him. Solid reasoning why he got it. Sucks he feels bad but I'm glad for him.
Lots of action off the bat hot damn. They said we'd have more and I loved it
Oooh loving Wes being assumed to the station. Welcome sir. Happy to have you and more Wopez moments to come.
Aaron went to north Hollywood someone had to lol Makes sense he would leave due to Blair. Also leaves the door open for him to return someday. Which makes my heart happy.
Poor Wes has to hear the recording of a man wanting to do things to his wife lol oh my lord. Heās legit having a meltdown about it hahah I sense some trouble for Wopez. Should be interesting season for them.
#Caitlin's First Impressions#chenford#the rookie 7x01#7x01 The Shot#the rookie#tim x lucy#lucy chen#tim bradford#s7#eric winter#melissa oneil#otp: doing my job
37 notes
Ā·
View notes
Photo
You're only limited by the size of the gif on disk, if a gif doesn't change much or has a limited palette you can have a long gif with a lot of frames
Which is funny because this one account accidentally found a way to reliably crash the Tumblr iOS app this way without knowing it.
I wish i remembered the blog's name, but it was a blog that took doom WADs and turned the automap into an animated gif that drew the map one line at a time from the start. so if it was a really complex map with lots of vertices it would take a really really long time
when tumblr was rolling out gifv (yes, boo that file format) i had to work on supporting it in the image stack. in an animated gif, each frame is a brand new frame (like a flipbook). In a gifv, each frame is the difference from the last frame applied over the previous frame. this is how some video compression codecs work too. it's more space efficient than holding a full frame but it's more computationally expensive to decode and render it. tradeoffs.
when you decode an image to be displayed on your computer/phone, it's ultimately creating a bitmap from the image data. each pixel is represented by an RGB value and an Alpha channel. It unpacks this info from whatever format the image is encoded in. For gifs, that means each frame of a gif is an image that needs to be rendered bit by bit, displayed for x milliseconds, then repeat for the next one.
this is why animated gifs use a lot of memory even if their size on disk is small. the hypothetical upper bound of the size of an animated gif in memory is image Width x Image Height x 24 bits (bit depth of gifs) x frame count. So a 100 frame gif that is 100 pixels wide x 100 pixels tall is 100x100x24x100 or 24000000 bits or 3000 kilobytes. or 3 megabytes.
this is NOT always the case because good gif rendering libraries only create frames in memory as needed rather than loading every single frame, but if you are a gifv you're only showing the changes of each frame on top of every previous frame.
i am NOT an image rendering expert, however i did know what i'm looking at in this case, so back to the doom map gif.
i really wish i had an example to show here. instead look at this full-color image of a doom map:
the blog in question would produce a black and white gif rendering the lines of these maps. like ignore any color (and the grid outside the map) and that's what it would make. line by line, one at a time, from the starting vertex
in a gifv that's one frame per line overlaid over all the previous frames. some of these gifs had tens or hundreds of thousands of frames, and they were much bigger than like 100x100 pixels! and no, large swathes of transparent areas aren't "empty", each transparent pixel is still 24 bits because you need the RGB values (think hex colors) AND the alpha channel value of zero. That information still needs to be displayed even if the information is ultimately "nothing (visually) here"
so now imagine having to overlay hundreds of thousands of frames over each other in sequence and how much memory that requires. well the image library we were using didnt like that and it crashed the Tumblr iOS app.
anyways that led to i think some changes where tumblr iOS ultimately only gets gifs instead of gifv's because asking your phone to do this extra work to render a gifv is asking too much, vs your desktop that does it better
99K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Field log: Elliot Manor
Note: The following is an illustration and transcription of audio and video recordings streamed from investigation of ground zero for SCP-468395. Instances of SCP-468395-A will continue to be referred to as Corrupted Security Drones (CSD) despite recent discoveries on their origins as standard drones.
Michelle: You hear that? behind the door over there, there's two voices talking.
Jordan: Yep. Could be the target. Stay on guard, she has weapons.
Team proceeds to the end of the hallway. Agents get into position in front of the doors and Jordan kicks it open.
Tessa Elliot: What-
CSD: Yeah NOPE!
Six rapid gunshots are heard and visual feed is disabled. Only one microphone records the following segment.
[04 level clearance required to access full file. Verify clearance level to continue] (Click keep reading)
Tessa Elliot: Wowā¦uhā¦okayā¦you just killed some SCP staff?
No one speaks for 3 seconds.
CSD: Wellā¦yes! Theyāre hostile and intend to capture us, right?
Tessa Elliot: What happened to the boot licker you described a minute ago?
There is no talking for another 3.5 seconds and the CSD vents air as if to sigh.
Tessa Elliot: Anyway, back to those questions, so [SCP-468395-1-C] wore my skin huh? Is that why my corpse over there looks fresh from the slaughterhouse?
CSD: Thatās correct.
Tessa Elliot: And now some gothy lookin' drone ate Cynās core andā¦survived? And has control of the solver now?
CSD: Iām skeptical of the twerpās success myself.
Tessa Elliot: (chuckling) You keep calling her a twerp but the more you describe this kid the cooler you make her sound.
CSD: You think N is cool, because youāre kind like that.
Tessa Elliot: Psh, nah. Heās pretty cool, especially with the vampire-angel thing going on now.
CSD: Now youāre demonstrating what I just said.
Tessa Elliot: Do you think N would be cooler if he drove a company car?
CSD: On the condition that he'd get an upgrade for his cognitive processor.
Tessa Elliot: Are you sure you'd like that? You'd get competition for employee of the month.
CSD: Not if leadership and being cool are in the criteria.
Both chuckle.
Once again there is no talking for 3 seconds.
CSD: I have questions too.
Tessa Elliot: Oh?
CSD: How do I know I can trust youāre the real Tessa? You could be an anomalous doppleganger, an illusion, or any other type of deceptive SCP.
Tessa Elliot: Huh. (Pause) You got me there. I canāt exactly prove Iām not any of that. I betcha can tell my fingerprints are different, right?
CSD: And your facial structure has slight differences, along with your brain. Oh and I donāt need to scan you to see youāre 4 centimeters shorter than you should be at your alleged age.
Tessa Elliot: Hm. Well that tracks with me being a clone right? And thereās bound to be differences with how fast they grew my body. As for the height uhā¦Iām not as exactly well fed as I was from before the apocalypse?
CSD: Okay. Ā Next question: How does a technical genius that's avoiding the foundation think it would be a good idea to go to ground zero?
Tessa Elliot: I kind of wanted to see what was left of my stuff here.
CSD: How is that enough reason to risk all the dangerous-
They pause yet again. This time for 2 seconds. The CSD sighs again.
CSD: You wanted to look at your own corpse didnāt you?
Tessa Elliot: That and see if Dadās SCP collection is still here.
CSD: ā¦You know what, that passes as Tessa behavior.
Tessa Elliot: Right! Knew you'd come around!
CSD: Next question. You said you're avoiding bunkers since most of them are extensions of SCP-2000 right now and you'd get caught. How do you expect to survive outside of bunkers? What happens if youāre starving and canāt wait out a six-week glass-dust storm to take off your helmet for food or water?
Tessa Elliot: I got my own shelter for that. But I donāt know how much I can tell you about it.
(Transcribers note: What theyāre saying next was sometimes hard to make out because they started talking at the same time and interrupting each other a lot. Francis if you find anything inaccurate here I just want to remind you, minimum wage, minimum effort.)
CSD: What? Why? I was completely transparent with you. Thatās not-
Tessa Elliot: I kind ofā¦.have my own team Iām working with as youād say? And, I dunno, you said youāre not working for the foundation right now
CSD: Yes but I wasnāt finished-
Tessa Elliot: And we're both different from the last times we saw each other-
CSD: That's true but I still haven't mentioned-
Tessa Elliot: To be blunt I donāt know who your next boss will be but they definitely wonāt be friendly to me.
CSD: Yes but please Tessa wait second!
Tessa Elliot: I-alright.
CSD: (Pause) I said I was between employers, but I meant under the previous circumstances. I-it's different now. You're...alive now. Before, you were gone, I had nowhere to apply. Then I read about SCP-2000, and-
They pause again for 4 seconds.
CSD: As long as youāre alive, youāll always be my boss, Tessa. Just, please, if you'll accept my application.
The subjects pause again for 6 seconds.
CSD: Wait shit-
Tessa Elliot What? What is it?
CSD: Wireless signal in the corner of my eye- son of a bi-
Audio picks up a single gunshot before disconnecting.
[Additional notes: Tessa Elliot has accessed files on recent 05 council members. Ā It is a top priority to capture and either amnesticize, or terminate the target.]
#Murder Drones#Jessa#Tessa James Elliot#Serial Designation J#ripping royals#murder drones J#MD J#MD Tessa#MD SCP au#cheezy art#SCP foundation
20 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
It's exam season and to help me cope I've been writing fun stuff between study sessions. Maybe my opinions could be appreciated and debated on the interwebs.
Ranking (some of) the LL crew based on who would let you take a nap on them and how comfy that nap would be:
Rodimus: 6/10 He would be so down with you taking a nap on him but he's very sharp and very distractable. His neck flare plate(?) would prevent you from sliding off but you better hope when something get his attention you don't get crushed in his neck cabling. I think he would try to remember you are there, maybe poke at you when he's bored, but if he's active, try is the key word there. Bonus points for running warm thoughā¦ hopefully not too warm.
Megatron: 8/10 A solid nap to be had. Good flat shoulder plating and he would never forget you were up there. Loss of points over the fact he would only let it happen if he really liked you and, lets be real here, there would always be that prickle at the back of your neck over how low your defences are and how many organics this mech has crushed.
Ultra Magnus: 10/10 The holy grail of naps, plenty of flat surfaces to rest on, no one can bother you cuz almost no one is as tall as him, he would willingly be your alarm clock, always knows you're there, incredible nap spot. Only issue would be convincing him, but you could make up something about how humans need to nap in high places or whatever and he would fold in concern for your fragile human health.
Ratchet: 5/10 Half of the battle is getting him to agree and the other half is trying to fall asleep whilst he grumbles, he also moves around a lot cuz he never rests and is always helping bots in the medbay. I don't know if you can fall asleep to the sound of metal being welded together or someone getting yelled at for injuring themselves doing something stupid butā¦ all the power to ya.
Drift: 9/10 Respects the need of the nap, it's basically like meditation so he gets it. His calm energy really helps when drifting off. I think he likes the idea of protecting a little human as they snooze which gives him guard dog energy when you're out, no ones messing with you and ruining your beauty sleep. Lose a point cuz he is sleek in design so fully resting on him comes at a risk.
Rung: 4/10 Doesn't mind if you ask but, I'm sorry, he's too rounded, not good for lying down. Although, he would be very careful and gentle with you so it just might work out. He works in a quiet environment which is nice but if he is having/about to have a therapy session he will ask you to leave, patient confidentiality is important to him. You would have to schedule your naps with him which is not the point of naps.
Cyclonus: 1/10 Zero flat surfaces so you would need to strap in. I don't think he would want you napping on him, he would constantly need to check you haven't fallen to your death and would find it awkward talking to people with something hanging on his shoulder. Would tell you to just go back to your berth or find a non-moving flat area, why do you want to nap on a Cybertronian anyway? A single point for at least being nice about it when he denies you.
Tailgate: 7/10 Absolute sweetheart about it but there's nowhere to really lay down on him. He would offer to hold you as a solution, which, if you don't mind being cradled like a baby (or having other people see you being cradled like a baby, tanking your reputation), seems alright. Since you are right in front of him at all times that way, there's no chance of him forgetting you're there. Will shush other people if they're being too loud around you. High chance of inducing cuteness aggression in him when you're asleep and softly snoring, will go for the cheeks.
Swerve: 3/10 This mech spends all his time loudly blabbering in a bar, noise needs to not be an issue for you. Similar issue with Tailgate where laying down is difficult. Unfortunately, does know what a human baby is so will coddle and humiliate you if you agree to being held. Another issue, the prankster Swerve is, you can't trust this guy to not draw on you or not steal something from you and hide it in an unreachable spot or not put you on a floatie in the middle of the oil reservoir. Gets some points cuz only HE can mess with you, anyone else tries to wake you up and they're out the bar.
Whirl: 0/10 ā¦I mean there is literally nowhere to lay down, he's too damn skinny. Youā¦could take a chance with his giant chassis but you'll probably slide off or look like you're in a baby holder if you strap yourself down. IF you are successful at staying in place (somehow), he would just bother you the whole time or not give a shit you're there and start running around. Worst case, he tries to use you as a meat shield to get away with annoying bots cuz "If you try to punch me, you'll punch the squishy human as well!"
Brainstorm: 3/10 Mech hangs from the ceiling sometimes. Sure, he has some alright shoulder plating to work with but his spontenaiety could literally throw you off. Would allow a nap but wouldn't check on you, too absorbed in his work. If he was bored and didn't have any ideas coming to him, you could suggest a sleeping bag that attaches you to mechs you want to sleep on.
I know I've missed some bots, maybe my stress will produce a part 2.
#transformers#lost light#transformers x reader#transformers x human#transformer x human#please don't beat me with sticks for putting this in the main tags
18 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
WTH. SINCE WHEN I REACHED 1K FOLLOWERS IN SIMBLR WHAT-
#thats insane. THATS INSANE#the crazy part about this is that I dont feel like that number is real. WHO HACKED MY ACC#yk what funny too? even after I got back in sims community I didnt think my posts going to have much attention or I will be making friends-#-its insane to me. especially since my latest posts gets like over 100 notes LIKE YALL STOP#honestly tho im so grateful for all that love yall are crazy and I love crazy ppl mwaha.#also ngl I hope this attention dont last (yes the hell is wrong w me) cuz IDK WHY I FEEL LIKE WHEN THERE IS TONS OF PPL FOLLOW ME#I WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIKE FORCING MYSELF TO CREATE AND THAT YK. LEADS TO BURNING OUT#but yeah my friends dw dw I am now a different person and I always have that mindset that I will post whenever I want#and yes especially w now? my mind likes to createpost w zero dialogue and short stories that is not clear but I just wanna do it. yk#like those edits on tiktoks from shows that u see n have no idea whats goin on but u r lowkey likin the edits#yes that the path im takin now MWAHAHA#anyways I love you guys I genuinely dont deserve this community (but yall are my biggest inspiration too its insane)#rando flovoid shit
26 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like āyou'll never understand what it's like to be a victimā#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see ātrans eldersā going on about how āif you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i amā i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
28 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
in general i roll my eyes at people who complain about all the new quality of life improvements in modern pokĆ©mon games bc inconvenience and genuine challenge are two very different things. but the one thing i would definitely agree on that i donāt like in sv is the ability to access your pc boxes any time. it sort of cheapens the experience of having to carefully choose which six pokĆ©mon youāre taking before venturing into unknown danger. like i donāt think you should be able to catch a pokĆ©mon in the depths of area zero and immediately put it in your party i think you gotta be loyal to whoever you took initially. itās about being forced to have a plan for all outcomes
#like you can switch your pokĆ©mon in the middle of the elite 4ā¦ be so real#personally i never did in either of those situations#sv being the first game i played (that had a pokĆ©mon league i mean) i didnāt know about the whole type specialist thing#not that i wouldāve been able to tell what type those ppl were anyway#but in any case i was like well might as well just stick with my same loyal 6 right#pokĆ©mon#sv#in a similar vein iām kinda unsure about how i feel about being able to remember moves anytime#i think if i could change it i would make it so that you could freely swap moves *at any pokĆ©mon center*#like remembering new moves is free but only at certain locations#although one could argue thatās just introducing slight inconvenience without making it more difficult#bc you can fast travel to those places any time#but i guess it would hit you in like area zero#idk#maybe iād make it so you can do it on the go anytime but it does cost something#but instead of rare difficult (or just plain annoying) once per day items like heart scales#have it be either plain old cash or like. some significantly easier item#idk. the convenience is super nice on that one. but it is kinda weird that it would be so easy to get your pokĆ©mon to get its moves back
18 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
it's really funny seeing everyone salty posts about the hidden agenda finale and i actually agree with everyone but the thing is!!!! i'm just vibing!!!!
i went into this show with absolutely ZERO expectations (and in fact, i would have been extremely surprised if this show ended up being actually good dkfjkfddf), i've never given a single shit about the plot and/or the writing bc i came here for the joongdunk vibes and the joongdunk vibes alone and i had a blast watching this series
like, i'm not even gonna bother criticising this drama bc from the beginning i didn't expect it to be very impressive anyway and so i'll just keep sitting here in my pile of garbage and vibing with it <3333
#watching joongdunk flirt on camera and be cute makes me feel good and that's exactly what i came here for#i got what i wanted and i don't care about the rest#as i said i'm just vibing!!!!!#the finale was underwhelming? there was no Real hidden agenda?#so what!! at least i got the funniest kiss scene ever with zo yoinking joke inside and kissing him stupid and yeeting him back out again!!!#that's all i need thanks dfkdfkkdfgdfkg#hidden agenda#ha ep12#airenyah plappert#adrm#sometimes thing's just ain't that deep and that's ok#(though i get everyone's frustrations very well and i would have been just as annoyed if i'd expected anything from the show at all)#(apart from mindless fluff that i need zero braincells for)#(for me personally this show is perfect kjdfjkdfkjd)#also congrats for joongdunk on getting to do a sex scene i guess lol#(well. heavy make-out scene more like it)#anyway seeing how excited they were for that scene to drop and considering their lolfanfest performance of dum dum#also with them coming up themselves with the idea of switching positions for the bite#i can see them do a show like only friends lmaooo#i'm generally against set actor pairs but i do hope joongdunk will do more series together jkkjkdf
45 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I get the urge to be like "Well, they can't live forever" when it comes to shitty situations with shitty people. But then I remember that A: shitty person dying might not be the result that someone wants, and B: it actually can take quite a while for people to die, in many cases
Idk I'm just so used to death being right around the corner that I'm like "Well maybe he'll die soon and that'll fix it" but he probably won't die that soon and it also might not fix it. Or be wanted.
Idk it's such a specific mentality that I have now. People can die with such short notice that you Never Know! The solution to all your problems may be short at hand. You never know.
#speculation nation#honestly i think the Year Of Death knocked a bit of a screw loose in me.#zero trust in anyone's longetivity. Any person around me could die with no warning at all. death comes in many forms.#including me! i could also die like that!#so people will ask things like 'do you think youll live until youre 70' and im like. i dont know!#i'll try to! but i could die next week. or today. or tomorrow. or in 50 years. it's all a giant game of gacha.#or perhaps russian roulette. but with a biiiiiiig barrel.#every day god cocks it back and pulls the trigger and Click! not my day to die today!#someday he'll pull that trigger and my metaphorical brains will blow. and yknow what i'll be dead so it wont even matter.#quite fortuitous that i already wasnt scared of death before getting such severe mortality awareness.#im gonna try to live as long as i can bc there are lots of things i still want to do. but when it's my time?#i'll be dead anyways. wont be able to care then.#theres a very specific kind of feeling that comes from dealing with sudden losses so consistently.#of receiving a call from someone who doesnt normally call you out of the blue and going 'oh boy someone else is dead now huh'#of answering it. having that hunch confirmed. and you just gotta go 'Okay. thanks for telling me.'#anyways i think theres something wrong with me but at least im still functioning fine. so it could be worse!#negative/#kinda lol. did get a bit into vent territory here.
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Every day I sit here or lie in bed thinking about how much purity culture destroyed me.
#and then my parents have the audacity???#to try and tell me that 'sex was created by God tho!!!'#yes and God was used to ruin my perception of sex#I can only read about it or draw it to explore my interests#I have absolutely zero interest in it being done to me physically#which is both purity culture and personal perception of my body#which does not change no matter what I do to try and love myself#anyway this was brought on because I'm listening to ppl talk about Girl Defined#Horrible channel btw please don't watch any of their videos#What they preach is misinformation at best and culty at worst#and this particular video is talking about how a GUY#WHO BECAME A SEX THERAPIST????#thought his wife was broken cuz she hated being intimate w/ him#and he would be like 'oh well srry ur broken we're gonna fuck anyway tho cuz //I// need it'#??????????????????????????????????????????#AND THEN I GUESS THEY DISCOVERED IT WASN'T HER#I'M NOT THROUGH IT YET THIS IS A BAD RIDE#BUT I CANNOT SEEM TO GET OFF#anyway back to drawing#fyi I don't have a problem w/ God I have a problem w/ Christians#There is a difference and you will respect that thank u
21 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
need to be exploding something but i Can't for some reason. just Can Not. my ability to do is just. Nay
#just me hi#GOUHHH#okay so I can't go back to bed rn cuz I was So tired earlier I went to bed at 7#Bad move !! But I also didn't have anything to do so kind of the only one lmao#So I slept for 4 hours and here I am now. At 2 am. Vibing [<- this is untrue]#I have Energy that I Need to dedicate to SOMETHING but I can't figure out what so I'm just vibrating really aggressively and pacing kfvshf#I could funkin writeeeee but I don't know what and i don't think I'll be able to focus so lmaoo š„#// š„š¶NONSTOP AUTOMATIC LIVIN IN DELUSIONš¶š„#anywho loll--#//i could draw but that's Slow and Caramalizing work. Like when I want to evenly toast my thoughts you know what I'm saying kfshf#Or when I'm just trying to be Thourough. Or just rotating shiz so fast I gotta slow down lol#And then if I draw what should it be? The things in my brain ??? God forbid#What I'm just sposed to pick between the 3+ projects I have blasting at full volume in my head rn ?? That's crazy talk man#//mnm i want. a Snack#Snack tiymeeee#If only we had those kfshvfh#Ik where to get marshmallows (thought they could hide them from me. Impossible) but that's not a good choice for the hour or the craving lo#//what's the point !!! What's the pooooint !!! š¶#i love you music hfvsh#/speaking of i took my mp3 player w/ me to skate w/ and played oldies and you know that was pretty good man I gotta do that again#Meant to do it last time but I didn't charge her :( and I don't want to stress her battery by killing her so </3#//oh also we went to the movies today !! Part of the reason I'm tired lmao#I always forget to bring smth to plug my ears (it's so funkin loudddd man oTL) but you know what I Didn't forget? Mp3 player w/ the noise#Canceling earbuds. Which worked insanely well I had Zero discomfort :D#Usually the theater experience starts to suck hard at abt the 2/3rds point cuz everything gets loud ;w;#but i forgot abt the sound thing w/ my buds in so :D yay yippee !!#We watched gladiator 2 :) watched the first one the night before so full context let's go š„#It was good! I think anyway! I'm not sure i was completely clocked in kfshfh#//ooou I'm running out of tag space..#I'll say ciao right here loll :> toodles !!
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
There's nothing wrong with people having their dearest most specialest blorbo be Eric ztd it is unironically good for the ecosystem and I always love seeing the different perspectives from other fans but what I am here today to ask is why is no one like that about Mira. whatever happened to feminism.
#every categorically insane man in this series has their dedicated fans and every popular character also has a bunch of red flags so like#to be fair no one's too crazy about Lotus or Alice either hm like people either outright dislike them conceptually because of their designs#or you know just have an appreciation for them as characters but not quite focusing on them much at all#like me#and like are the tropes that make up her character problematic? yeah! that didn't stop y'all from liking Saito a whole lot#now he's better woven into the narrative of the game he's in but then my point's back to Eric lol#like it is just fucking ludicrous the amount of stuff in the whole Series not to mention the game Alone that she's responsible for#but it does feel disconnected (being responsible for the Kurashiki's parents deaths)#frustrating (being responsible for injecting Phi whith Rad-6)#and overall just kinda glossed over? (beheading Junpei and killing off D-Team that one time because she was in cahoots with Zero)#so like I get why people wouldn't like her she's a bad plot device but THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING#THAT'S NOT REALLY STOPPING ANYONE and it's not even like people are very vocal about hating her either#at most I've seen it be lumped in with some major complains about the game like as a whole#the way we find out so early she's a serial killer it's kinda shocking but not really? it ends up as just kinda ridiculous and underwhelming#imo that's the whole game but again even when it comes to people who Do Like this game#anyways free to reblog I Do wanna talk about this but I am absolutely Not putting this in the tag lmao could you imagine#like is the trope of having one big booba female character per game and for it to be a Defining Characteristic kinda not great? yeah#but also like shrug#we've let Uchikosh get away with worse
14 notes
Ā·
View notes