#what i DID have to do was lay on the floor for minimum 30 minutes after first receiving this

[darkestrellar]

Another cold night in White Forest, it truly is enough to make someone wonder exactly what had put the haunted woods in such a mood. It had come to know by now though that the cold bothered Svern to some extent, so... in all likelihood he did something to annoy it, or it just felt like being this way. It didn't really matter. When Blanc first noticed the chill in the room, he thought about getting up to go toss one of his extra blankets over to Svern. Providing he was still awake anyway, this sort of temperature didn't seem to agree much with him so he would've thought he would be. But as he sat up to do just that, he quickly realizes that he's no longer alone in his own bed.

The other side of his bed, usually taken over by his resident Flareon, actually had certain other person claiming it. Autumn was dozing at the edge instead and completely unbothered, while Svern was turned away from him. Asleep? He can't tell from this angle, but it is the first time he's really witnessed him seemingly asleep anyway.

There's a lot of questions running through his mind upon realizing, some mundane, some curious, but there is one that's standing out in all his thoughts that he ends up finding himself speaking softly into the night air.

"You trust me this much?"

He doesn't want to wake him, the question doesn't need an answer, and he hadn't meant to say it out loud. But it is always nice to know the amount of trust that someone has in you, if they're willing to do something like this.

Earlier...

It had been too late at night, with yet another unexpected and drastic temperature plummet. He had been too tired for that kind of bone-chilling cold; and maybe the Forest knew that. Had it learned his habits? Was it a coincidence that it brought this on just as he was hitting one of those points when he'd succeeded in exhausting himself well and truly?

No matter how he'd tried, he hadn't been able to ignore the cold, and he couldn't combat it himself. He'd been stuck in shivering agony. Wasn't the cold supposed to numb you out, eventually? Maybe at least that way he could have dropped safely into unconsciousness and been free of it.

That hadn't happened, and no other intervention had come. White Forest could be cruel: if it wanted you to be cold, your list of reliable options to not be cold were limited. Still, Svern did know of one such option... so, getting sick of this, in the dark he picked himself up from his usual place on the couch and dragged his weary body to a different room in the house.

There was one place he knew he could find a reliable source of warmth.

...

There was no answer to Blanc's quiet question, just the faint sound of slow, deep breathing from an otherwise motionless Svern.

His back was to Blanc and he had curled in on himself under the blanket, one arm pulled up to in front of his face as if to hide it. The fact he didn't so much as stir in response to either Blanc talking (soft as it was) or sitting up seemed to indicate that he really was asleep.

Maybe that in and of itself was answer enough.

[skwyd]

On Health and Weight

Growing up, I was skinny. And short. Throughout most of my time in school, I was one of the shorted kids in class. And even up through high school and college, I could NOT gain any significant weight if I tried.

This goes for muscle mass as well. For over a year, I went to the gym with some friends 3 days a week. I worked out, adjusted my diet, lifted, trained, etc. and I absolutely never built up any significant muscle mass. I was crazy fit, but not muscular. I mean, I had a six-pack abs, but no pectoral muscles to top them off!

Then, in my late 20′s, I started to gain some weight. I weighed 125 pounds when I graduated high school at age 18. I was 6 feet tall. By age 25 I had creeped up to about 140. By age 29, I hit 180. Not that 180 pounds is out of line for someone of my height. It is just that for how I felt, it was a noticeable difference.

I went on a low-carbohydrate diet then. And with the job I had (being on my feet all day for 12 hour shifts), it did the trick. And in 3 months, I had lost 30 pounds! I relaxed a bit on my strict adherence to the diet and leveled off around 160 pounds.

I remained around that weight up until my mid-30′s. My career changed at that time and being more sedentary, I edged up to almost 200 pounds by the time I hit 40 years old. Again, 200 pounds is not a lot for my height, but I really noticed it in my daily activities.

Over the next 4-5 years, I put on another 50 pounds, topping out at 250 pounds at that time. My knees protested. My back protested. My emotions protested. But I just couldn’t find a way to keep the weight off. I had seemed to level out at that weight, however, and by luck or happenstance, I sat there at that weight.

In early 2018, I had to have hernia surgery (second time for it, but different spot this time). And the doctor said that the surgeon would ask that I lose at least 10 pounds before I had the surgery. So I set about figuring out a way to lose some weight.

I read articles about it. I knew I had to find a way to alter my lifestyle in such a way that it was a slow, incremental change that could become a permanent “habit” for me. And I did. I found that if I slowed down how quickly I ate (I tend to eat food very quickly), I would eat less. And I started walking a minimum of 30 minutes every day at lunch. And in about 6 months, I had lost 30 pounds! I went in to my surgery in March of 2018 at 220 pounds.

But, within a year of my surgery, I was back up to 250 again. I “lost my way” somehow with my eating slowly. And the walking. And now, I see that I’m starting to creep past that 250 pounds.

...

And honestly, I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t work out. I just can’t. I’ve tried. My brain goes absolutely insane with boredom. I’ve owned treadmills (they hold my laundry quite well). I’ve had gym memberships (they love my money and my lack of attendance). I’ve tried various diets and such. But I just can’t find the way to do it again. I’m very close to talking to my doctor about appetite suppressants or some other way to deter my eating habits. But I’m also afraid of those side effects.

I hear all kinds of people talk about having motivation or determination or incentive or whatever thing that I supposedly “need to have” to succeed at this. And the fact is, those people can shove it. I have all those things. I mean, I’m in my 50′s and I have a beautiful family and wonderful career. I want to be able to continue in my career to build up enough money to retire. And then I want to be able to enjoy that retirement once I get there. And though my doctor doesn’t say that I have any specific health risks going on with my weight, I’m just sick and tired of my knees hurting every time I have to walk up or down stairs. I hate that I get back pains from laying down for too long. I can’t stand the fact that if I have to pick something up off of the floor or even from one of the lower cabinets in the kitchen, it is a chore to stand back up afterwards.

Bottom line, I WANT to lose the weight. I WANT to lose 50 pounds. Or at least 30! But I can’t find the path to that goal. I don’t know what else to try that will stick with me. It’s not just a “will power issue”. It isn’t just “lacking dedication”. It’s not that simple. This is a mental barrier I have in finding the things that will help me on this and putting them into place in my life.

And it is something that really, really, really bothers me. 

[bitch-for-bo]

Forever (Kageyama x chubby reader) (possessive Kageyama)

POST TIMESKIP

Kageyama is possessive. Rightfully so though, every where you went you attracted, no, demanded attention. You were beautiful, inside and out. And many days Kageyama wondered just how he was lucky enough to have been the one to catch your attention. You were his world, his angel, and whenever someone else tried to entertain the thought of being with you, he wasn't happy.

So sometimes he needed to show you that he belonged to you, and that you belonged to him.

ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You watched as his chest rose and fell steadily with exertion. The sweat on his forehead was clearly visible and you could tell that his body was beginning to grow exhausted. You loved seeing this, everything about him when he was like this oozed power, from the way he stood, with his feet planted firmly with his muscular arms extended above him, to the look of overwhelming concentration on his face.

Your fiancé only got like this when he was playing volleyball, or when he was making love to you. It wasn’t something that he allowed others to see, saving it exclusively for his volleyball team and his loving partner. No one else got to see him like this because while it was when he was most concentrated, it was also when he was most vulnerable. When he played volleyball, he wore his feelings on his sleeve. It was as if he was trying so hard to control his physical state, that his emotions were left completely exposed.

Most days, this kind of passion on his face and in his movements, had the ability to take your breath away, and today was no different. The way that he practically glided across the court reminded you of a panther. You looked away, you could feel your body heating up as you watched Tobio play and the last thing you needed was to get aroused. You were here today to watch his practice and be a supportive girlfriend, nothing more nothing less.

Of course, the only person on the all-Japan team that knew you were Tobio’s partner, was Hinata, Kageyama’s volleyball partner and best friend (Besides you of course). Seeing as they were best friends, Tobio hadn’t been able to keep you a secret for very long. It had only been a month into the two of you dating when Hinata had finally figured it out, and you reckoned that you would’ve been found out slightly faster if it was anyone other than Hinata.

Seeing as only Hinata knew, Tobio had asked you to keep the PDA to a minimum. It’s not that he was embarrassed to be with you, very much the opposite. He felt that if his teammates knew of your existence, your beauty and naturally charismatic personality would draw them in much closer than he would allow any of them to be. You had decided to oblige because while it was sometimes fun to rile Tobio up, you really didn’t want to deal with his possessive side at the moment.

As soon as you had calmed down slightly, you looked back to the court to find that all of the players were now laying on the gym floor stretching. You decided that it would probably be okay if you walked down the bleachers and waited near the gym doors, it’s not like you were going to disturb the already-over-practice.

As you walked down the stairs, your eyes caught Hinata’s, who was currently leaning onto Kageyama as he sat on the gym floor, assisting him as he stretched.

“Look! It’s Y/N!” he shouted, one of his hands leaving Kageyama’s back as he reached up and waved to you, a bright smile taking over his face.

You smiled and waved back, hoping that his comment wasn’t loud enough to draw the attention of either the coaches or the other players. You really didn’t need the extra attention or even possibly a scolding.

Down on the court, Kageyama reached up behind him to swat Hinata on the back of the head, causing the redhead to let out a surprised yelp and glare down at his friend.

“Shh,” Kageyama hissed, “I don’t want anyone knowing about my relationship you dumbass.” His voice was hushed yet didn’t lack his usual biting tone.

“Why?” Hinata asked, his curiosity causing him to completely forget about the fact that Kageyama had just hit him. “They would love Y/N!” He beamed.

The first time that Hinata had met you, he could think nothing other than the thought that Kageyama had struck the lottery with you. You were everything that anyone could ever want. You had a sweet, patient personality (necessary to deal with Yama’s awkwardness and mood swings), you were incredibly smart, and to top it all off, you were one of the most gorgeous women that Hinata had ever seen.

Hinata remembered exactly what you were wearing the first time that he’d met you. It was during the summertime, it was actually at the wedding of one of Hinata and Kageyama’s mutual friends. Hinata could remember how Kageyama had reacted when they found out that each quest was encouraged to bring a plus one. He had been shocked that Kageyama had been so calm about the situation, usually, his best friend would freak out at the thought of having to plan out having a guest with him. As soon as Kageyama had simply agreed with the plus-one invitation, Hinata had known something was up, and pretty soon, Kageyama told him about you and told him that he’d be able to meet you at the wedding.

It was a summer wedding and it was outdoors. You had chosen to wear a very simple, light lilac summer dress. You were always careful when you went to weddings to follow the proper etiquette, not wearing a color too close to white, matching the dress with nude heels that were no higher than 2 inches. Unfortunately, you had never been a small woman so even in 2-inch heels you ended up towering over the bride. Luckily, you only saw her when Kageyama went to greet his friend and congratulate him.

It had been almost sunset when Hinata had met you, and with all of the times that he himself had been compared to the sun, he couldn’t help but see you as the purest definition of the star. The way that the orange-pink sky lit up your face as Kageyama introduced you to him, nearly left him breathless. That along with the way that your light, flowy dress hugged and accentuated your breasts and hips, managed to make Hinata develop a blinding crush on you (much to his dismay).

Thankfully, over time, Hinata realized that while you were incredibly beautiful and kind, he saw you as nothing more than a friend as well as the girlfriend of his best friend (although sometimes he would still find himself slightly jealous that Kageyama had managed to snatch you for himself).

Kageyama just pushed Hinata off of him and stood up.

“That’s the problem.” he whisper-shouted at the redhead. He didn’t want any of his teammates to notice you, you were his to view and his only.

“Ahhh…” Hinata nodded, knowing all too well of Kageyama’s possessive tendencies. A smug look came over his face as he hurried to catch up to Kageyama, who was walking towards you on the side of the court. “Your stingy side is showing Kageyama.”

Kageyama just rolled his eyes as he finally came to stand in front of you.

He smiled down at you, a light blush painting his face as he tried to regain his cool. He couldn’t help but get a little starstruck each time he saw you. You were so so stunning that he almost had to pinch himself to remind himself that this wasn’t a dream, that you were really his.

And the same went for you. To you, everything about Tobio was perfect and nothing had more rewarding to you than watching your fiance go from the awkward, stumbling 21-year-old he was when you had met him to the brilliant man that stood before you. Over the last 3 years, you’d had the honor of getting to watch your boyfriend truly flourish.

“Hey,” you said, grinning up at your boyfriend, careful to deny the urge to jump into his arms and hug his sweaty form.

He just grinned right back at you, his blush only growing as he fought his own urges to lean down and take a kiss from you.

“Hey,” he replied, “Thank you for coming, I know it must’ve been boring for you.”

“What?” you scoffed, your eyes widening at the ridiculous statement. “I love watching you play.” The genuine excitement in your voice made Kageyama blush even harder.

“Aww, what about me Y/N don’t tell me you were only focusing on stupid Kageyama!” Hinata whined, slinging one of his arms up and around your shoulders.

“Of course not, you did great Hinata” You complimented, knowing that Hinata was probably the only other player that you could complement without Tobio getting fussy.

Hinata picked your hand up, inspecting your engagement ring.

“Really is a shame you’re wasting your life on this idiot though.” he tutted, before giving you a quick kiss on the side of the head and running back onto the court.

“Ignore him.” Tobio scowled, earning a light giggled from you.

“You know I usually do.” You assured. “So, when will you be home?” you asked quietly, making sure that no one could possibly hear.

“Well I think the team wanted to go out tonight...so…”

You nodded, the whole team had been working so hard lately, they deserved some off time.

“Okay baby,” You smiled, “since you’re going out with friends, I might call my girlfriends up and have a night out myself.”

Kageyama nodded. He loved how easy going you were. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have you.

“Be careful and have fun.”

“You too,” you said. He gave you one last love-filled glance before turning and going back onto the court, probably on his way to the locker rooms.

You turned and left, fishing your phone out to call your friends.

**************************

The music at the club was loud, and the flashing lights were almost intense enough to give you a headache. It was also almost overwhelmingly hot in the club as well, which had led you and your friends to take a break. You all had decided to cool down, so you went and ordered a couple of rounds from the bar.

Seeing as you had been at the club for at least 30 minutes already (and did some pregaming before) you and your friends were a bit more than tipsy. Still, you didn’t have work tomorrow and Kageyama didn’t have practice so both of you were going to be able to sleep in as long as you like.

Right after you had put your order in with the bartender you looked towards the entrance of the club, your jaw hitting the floor in surprise.

“Oh my god…” you gasped, how unlucky was this?

“What?” your friend asked, her eyes trying to follow yours across the club.

“Look” you replied, pointing your finger towards the entrance where nearly all of the all-japan team members stood.

“Damnnn... “your friend gasped, “too bad you have a fiance bitch…”

You scoffed, pushing her into the side of the bar. Your eyes went straight back to the entrance, scanning the men as you looked for a familiar stoic face.

“You idiot! That is my fiance. That’s him and his team!” You couldn’t help but laugh a little at your friend who just gaped at you.

“You never told me he had hot friends! I hate you!”

You just laughed. You really wanted to approach your fiance and greet him, but you also knew that without the distraction of practice, it was more likely for some of his other teammates to see you. So you settled with turning your back to the team, hoping that Hinata hadn’t seen you because you knew that if the rambunctious redhead caught sight of you, he would definitely approach you.

For the next couple of minutes, you tried to form a plan on how you could avoid the team, it was a fairly large club so you were pretty sure that it was possible for both of your groups to co-party without crossing paths.

Little to your knowledge, Hinata had already caught sight of you and snuck away from Kageyama and the team so he could greet you. He would tell Kageyama that you were at the club after he said hi to you, otherwise, Kageyama wouldn't allow him to draw any possible attention to you.

You were still trying to think of all of the possible problems with your plan whenever you felt a strong arm wrap around your shoulders. You quickly turned towards the arm with your fist raised, ready to put a handsy bastard in his place.

“Woah! Hey there!”

“Hinata!” you scowled. As soon as you saw him, all of your hope of having a stress free night disappeared. You wondered how he could be so reckless, how dare he blatantly walk up to you!

“Sorry!” He said smiling, his arm unhooking itself from around your body as he leaned against the bar, trying to kind of block you from the team. Despite what you and Kageyama thought, he wasn’t a complete idiot.

“It’s fine… it’s not like I was going to be able to avoid you anyways..” you sighed, resting your chin against your palm in a pout.

“Wait,” Hinata said, “you already knew that we were here? I thought I was doing you a favor by telling you.”

You smiled at the sweet sentiment, before nodding.

“Yeah, I saw you guys when you came in.”

Hinata nodded. Of course, you had noticed, you never failed to impress him with your observation skills. God knows that if you hadn't had good observation skills, you never would’ve realized that Kageyama was flirting with you when the two of you had met.

The bartender came back and set the screwdriver that you’d ordered in front of you. You nodded in thanks before taking a large sip.

“What’re you gonna do?” He asked, yanking the beverage away from you and stealing a bigger than polite gulp.

“We can avoid each other as long as I and my friends stay at the opposite side of the dancefloor and stuff.” You said, swatting at the back of his head as he went in for another drink.

“Ahh,” he said, taking two more gulps and finishing the drink. “Well, good luck!” He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before walking away from the bar, most likely to go back to his teammates before suspicions rose.

You simply flipped him off as he left, but before you could order a new drink, a new hand wrapped around your arm.

“Hey Y/N let’s go back to dancing!” Your friend said, trying to drag you to the dancefloor. You glanced towards Kageyama’s group, noticing that they had kind of dispersed, some of them staying at the side tables, others heading to the bar, and a few headed towards the dancefloor.

You decided that you liked those odds, and it was probably okay for you to relax a little.

You and your friends returned to dancing, trying to stay towards the middle of the floor. It might seem a little counterintuitive, but being in the middle of the dancefloor meant it was easier to blend in and become just another body in the mass.

At least something about this night was going right, the music the club was playing was probably the best mix you’d heard playing in there in the last couple of visits. Your group was having the times of their lives as you focused on having fun and moving to the music. You could feel the stresses of the week melting away with the music and alcohol when suddenly, a pair of electric blue eyes met yours.

You stopped moving, you couldn’t tell if your heart was beating because of the dancing or if it was the striking look of your fiance looking at you from across the club.

Kageyama must’ve gone home when you weren’t there and changed. He was dressed simply in a dark blue button-down and black slacks but you couldn’t help the shiver that ran through your spine as your body grew hot.

You could tell from the look on his handsome face that he wanted to approach you, but before he could take a step, one of his teammates, a man nearly as tall as Kageyama with bleached blonde hair, slapped him to the shoulder before starting to talk to him about something.

Kageyama broke eye contact with you, turning his face to talk to Atsumu. But neither his heart nor his mind was in the conversation as he couldn’t help but try and sneak glances back out across the club, searching for the figure of his fiance.

After only a couple of seconds of searching, his eyes found you once again and he had to stop himself from letting out a groan.

You were intentionally swinging your hips in the most inviting ways possible, making sure to give Kageyama a nice show. The security of him being across the club meant that you could behave like this and have it be completely within the rules. After all, none of his teammates were watching you dance, only him.

You could feel Tobio’s eyes on your ass as you swing your hips around to the song playing over the club. Since your back was facing your boyfriend, he wasn’t able to see the teasing smirk on your lips as you ground your hips in a circle.

Your body was heating up more and more by the second, you could almost feel his body beneath you as you drew circles with your hips, throwing your head slightly back and rolling it around, exposing the flesh of your neck for his viewing pleasure.

Kageyama was barely keeping a grip on himself as Atsumu continued to talk to him, the blonde had pulled Kageyama into a conversation with him and Kiyoomi, not knowing anything of the battle occurring between Kageyama and his beautiful girlfriend (whom the team still didn’t know existed).

He was having trouble focusing as you danced. He knew that you were acting this way just to tease him, and he also saw that purely by coincidence, you were wearing one of his favorite dresses. The way that the dark red dress hugged your figure was enough to drive him crazy. Even from his position across the club, he could see the way that your breasts and ass were on perfect display, as well as the soft bounce of your thighs as you continued to move.

His legs were twitching with the urge to go and shield you from everyone else in the club. He knew that you didn’t mind people watching you dance, but he did and he could already see several male glances glued to your body. But despite how much he hated all of those men staring at you, he couldn’t blame them. You were almost ethereal in the way that you commanded attention with your movements. Your confidence oozed out of you, attracting and drawing the attention of almost everyone within a 10-foot radius.

He almost growled as he saw you wink at him before shaking your ass at him, he knew that you were aware that he couldn’t approach you and obviously you were having great fun making him miserable.

He felt himself getting hard, and he knew that he needed to stop watching. Hopefully, if he stopped watching, you would stop dancing like that.

He shot one last glance your way, a glance that said ‘you’ll get your punishment later’ and made you clench your thighs.

You just laughed as he turned away. You knew that it was mean to act like this, but you just couldn't help it. Plus, no harm no foul.

“Y/N!” You head a shout behind you, turning to find Hinata. “Dance with me Y/N!” he asked his eyes like an excited child.

You only laughed in response, before stepping towards him and beginning to dance (much more innocently)

You and Shoyou danced for at least ten minutes, just having fun and laughing. Seeing as Kageyama rarely danced, you were grateful that he had such an energy-filled best friend. After a couple of more songs, you both decided that it was once again time for a drink break, and went to the bar together.

After demanding it of him, Hinata bought you a drink to make up for the one he had stolen earlier but as soon as the bartender set it down in front of Hinata, a hand popped out and stole it before you had the chance to claim it.

“So Shoyou, this is where you’ve been sneakin’ off all night?”

You glanced around Hinata to see the blonde that was talking to Kageyama earlier. Hinata gave a small awkward laugh, his eyes glancing to yours apologetically.

“Hey, Atusumu..”

“So….” Atsumu drawled, walking around Shoyou to get a better look at you, “this yer girlfriend Shoyou?” You could feel his eyes glancing down your body, causing your face to heat up and embarrassment begin to rear its ugly head.

Atsumu really was quite handsome, you thought. You couldn’t help but get a little flustered as he eyed you hungrily.

“Haha,” Hinata chuckled nervously, his hand resting itself protectively on your upper back. “No, just a friend.”

“Just a friend….whatta relief thought I was gonna have to steal your girl from ya…”

It was your turn to laugh nervously as Atsumu leaned across the bar to order a drink.

Atsumu was glad that you weren’t Shoyou’s girlfriend. Ever since the first time Hinata had snuck away from them, he had seen the redhead approach you, and ever since then, you had been caught in the crosshairs of his sight.

He couldn’t help but admire you from across the club, the way that your dress complimented your plush body was something that he’d been practically drooling over all night. He could only imagine how soft you were underneath the lovely material, he’d noticed the way that as you had walked to the bar with Hinata, the dress had slipped slightly up your thighs, exposing the supple curve of your legs.

With as flattering as the attention from the blonde setter, you knew that you needed to leave. Your plan to avoid the team had clearly failed and you had decided just to take the loss and call it a night.

“Well,” you said, stepping away from the bar to make your quick escape, “I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick.” It wasn’t completely a lie, you were actually going to go to the bathroom, you were just gonna leave the club right after.

“Promise to come right back?” Atsumu grinned, leaning slightly closer to you.

“How about this,” you drawled back, deciding that the best way to get him off your back at the moment would be to lie your ass off and promise to meet him later, “I’m here with my friend right now, I’m gonna make sure that she has a good time before I worry about myself, so, why don’t you try to find me in about an hour, then maybe you’ll have a chance.” You had leaned towards Atsumu as well until the two of you were only inches apart.

“Deal,” he said, his hands itching to attach to your waist, you were so close…

“See ya then” you smirked, throwing him a wink before sauntering off to the bathroom. As soon as the door closed behind you, you let out the breath that you’d been holding.

‘Fuck’ you thought, ‘ Kageyama is not going to be happy.’

But it’s not like you had a choice. In fact, you thought that you had handled the situation pretty well. Hopefully, Atsumu would get drunk and forget about the whole ordeal.

Once you’d regained yourself, you pulled out your phone and called your friends to tell them that you were going to head home. They whined a little but eventually understood that you’d made up your mind.

Now all that was left was to sneak out without looking super unnatural.

***************************

“Yeah, that’s her,” Atsumu said cockily to the table, causing Kageyama to clench his fists in an attempt to calm himself.

He couldn’t believe that he’d been so careless in letting you out of his sight. He couldn’t believe that he was so unlucky that his teammate made a move on you…..well….. He could believe that. With as enrapturing as you were, it was impossible for someone not to try and approach you. He was just unhappy that it had to be Atsumu.

The blonde had come sauntering back to the area that the team had been inhabiting and had begun to brag about the promise that you’d made him. Of course, at first, Kageyama hadn’t known that it was you who Miya was talking about, but soon Hinata had timidly whispered in his ear, just what the situation was. Kageyama couldn’t even be mad at Hinata, after all, he knew that the over-exuberant spiker couldn’t help it.

The team had only seen you briefly, you were walking into the crowd, trying to get to the exit. As soon as you had ducked into the mass of people, thankfully, none of them could see you leave the building.

After you’d disappeared, a couple of members of the team made comments on your body, congratulating or teasing Atsumu over what they deemed to be a hopeless endeavor, telling him that he didn’t stand a chance.

All of the comments made Kageyama livid, but at the same time, it made him feel totally victorious that he was the one who would get to go home to you later. He didn’t like the way that they were talking about you, and soon the possessive side of him couldn’t stand to stay and listen.

He and a couple of the guys went over to the bar and got a couple of drinks, all of them thankful to be away from the more rambunctious members of the team who were still either conversing at the table or springing around on the dancefloor.

As he sipped his drink, Kageyama couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to you. That dress was truly one of his favorites. The way that you looked in it never failed to distract him, and when he’d seen you in it earlier, he’d almost forgotten how to breathe.

He couldn’t wait to go home to you. He wondered if you had already showered and gone to bed yet, it was a shame that he wasn’t the one to strip that dress off of you, but he was hoping that you’d replaced it with one of his shirts, or even nothing at all.

He set his drink down. He couldn’t hold himself back any longer, he needed to see you, to hold you.

He passed back by the team on his way out, coming up with some lame excuse of feeling too tired to continue the night, getting teased by Bokuto that he was secretly taking someone home, which wasn’t completely off base.

As he walked out of the club into the cool night air, he thought of how you had been dancing earlier, the way that your eyes had flitted to his before you would expose your neck to him, or how you would drag your fingers down your sides, outlining your perfect shape for him as you danced.

‘ Fuck’ he thought, ‘I’m hard.’

He hailed a cab, eager to get home to you. Soon, he was opening the door to your apartment and walking inside. He quickly removed his shoes, eager to find you and wrap you in an embrace. But halfway down the hallway to your bedroom, he stopped.

“Fuuuuckkk….” he heard the high pitched moan drift out of the closed door, the sound going straight to his dick as he anticipated the sight awaiting him. Your moans continued to grace his ears as he slowly peeked in the door, avoiding making any noise so that he could watch you silently.

He found you with your back to him, kneeling on the bed as you pressed a vibrator against yourself. You had shed all of your clothes, leaving your skin bare to his eyes, every goosebump and shiver completely visible to his hungry gaze.

He silently approached you, working his belt off of his hips as he walked. When he got close enough to you, he cleared his throat appreciatively, his dick hardening when your head dropped back to look at him.

God, you looked so good for him. Your eyes were watering and from where he stood, he had the perfect view of your pretty tits as well as a view of the little pink toy vibrating against your already soaked pussy.

Suddenly, your mouth dropped open and another string of moans came out. Kageyama raised his hand to your cheek, his gentle fingers caressing your face, carefully pushing the sweaty wisps of hair that were sticking to your temples. His heart lurched as you looked up at him, your teary eyes filled with love. He looked right back down at you in adoration, not believing how lucky he was that he was yours.

“How long did you have to wait for me baby?” he asked his voice calm despite the furious blush gracing his face.

“....not long…” you whimpered, your insides twisting as your fiance slowly leaned down to join his lips with yours. You almost cried into the kiss, the warm feeling of his mouth against yours making the last couple of hours of torture completely worth it.

“You looked so sexy tonight baby.” Kageyama praised as he leaned away, allowing you to catch your breath after the searing kiss. He sat on the edge of the bed before running his hand down your body from your breasts to your naval before wrapping around your hand that was currently holding the vibrator.

He took the toy away from you, making you whine pathetically at the loss of contact.

“ Shhh… ” He hushed you, pressing a quick kiss to your lips as he stood up again. “I’m gonna fill you up so good, but first I want you to suck me for a bit” He unbuttoned his slacks before letting them drop to the floor.

Your eyes hungrily made their way across his powerful thighs, your mouth practically watering at the sight of the thick muscle that laid underneath his dark boxer briefs. You looked up at Kageyama, moaned lightly as he began to work on unbuttoning his shirt with his long, graceful fingers.

You wanted those fingers inside of you, you thought, keening at the mental image of getting stretched out by Tobio before he filled you with his cock.

You quickly sunk down to your knees and pulled his underwear down his thighs, biting your lower lip almost painfully as his hardening dick popped out. You drooled at the sight, Kageyama had to of had one of, if not the prettiest cocks in the world. The way that the hot appendage stood proudly, long and thick with a gorgeous vein running halfway up the length put art to shame. The slight upward curve made him fit perfectly in your hand, made it perfect for rocking into your fist as you got him off.

“ Please …” he whispered, and that was all it took for you to eagerly wrap your lips around his cock, your hand twisting gently at the base.

“ Shit ,” Kageyama grunted, throwing his head back at the sudden sensation of the warmth of your mouth surrounding him. He threaded his fingers into your hair as he gently guided your head down onto his cock.

“You take me so good,” he mumbled, his praises going straight to your clit as you moaned out around his dick, your fingernails raking down the fronts of his thighs as you gripped onto the muscles.

You were slowly building your pace up, going from giving the tip of his cock small, hot licks, to taking him as far down your throat as you could muster.

Kageyama was putty beneath your fingertips, his whole body felt like it was on fire as you worked him just like he liked to be worked. He could feel himself starting to lose his control over himself as the overwhelming urge to fuck you silly started to creep up his spine.

“Fuck baby,” he breathed as you swallowed him into your throat again, relaxing around the thickness as best as you could, he knew that he was close, “ keep going, baby… .”

Your pussy only clenched harder at his encouraging words as you quickened your pace, trying desperately to make him cum. One of your hands left his thighs to lightly grip his balls, the light touch pushing him that much nearer to the ledge.

“ Ooh fuck….. Please….wanna cum in your pussy baby” he moaned, his fingers sweeping the hair across your forehead as he looked down at you with blown-out pupils.

All you had to do was nod before Kageyama pulled his cock out of your mouth and hoisted you up onto the bed. He leaned over you, claiming your lips in a searing embrace as he ran the tip of his cock against your pussy, making you moan at the feeling of his pulsing cock against your lips.

“ Please Tobio …” you begged, your legs wrapping around his hips in an attempt to pull him inside of you.

After pumping his cock a couple of times in his hand, Kageyama lined himself up with your opening, before easing himself in.

All it took was feeling your tight walls wrapped around him for him to lose himself, his hot cum spurting into you as he buried his face into your neck, licking and sucking at the flesh as he gently rode out his high, careful not to thrust into you too hard seeing as you hadn’t been properly stretched.

“ Tobio ….” you breathed, the feeling of his seed inside of you making you yearn for him to breed you that much stronger. “ Please...fuck me Tobio… ”

“ Shhh… ” he soothed, trying to pull out of you as carefully as possible, groaning at the lewd squelch that your pussy made.

He crawled down your body until his face was level with your cunt, his fingers spreading the lips of your pussy apart as he inspected the sight of his cum leaking out of your hole, groaning at the incredibly sexy display.

Timidly, his tongue poked out of his mouth and prodded at your clit, pulling a high pitched whine from your lungs as your fists gripped the sheets underneath you.

Kageyama wrapped his mouth around your clit, sucking the little bud into his mouth as his fingers began to prepare you, scooping his cum up and fucking it back into you.

“So good for me baby…. You’re being so good for me aren’t you?”

“ Yes!” you cried, your hips trying to grind down onto the digits that were fucking into your dripping cunt far too slow for your liking. “Please give me your cock.”

Tobio decided to indulge you, crawling back up your body and realigning himself with you.

“Fuck, you’re so tight baby.” he groaned, his hips slowly pushing into you until he bottomed out.

You were being reduced to a whimpering mess with the feeling of being so completely full of your boyfriend. You wrapped your arms around his back, your chest pressing against his as he began to thrust into you with slow, calculated movements.

“ Please …” you sighed, your hips bucking desperately as you tried to coax him to go faster.

As Kageyama stared down at your blissed-out face, he could only thank god that you were his. After seeing how his teammates ogled over you, how much you were desired, he could help but feel like the luckiest man alive as he buried himself deeper into you, your walls clenching deliciously around him.

“ Fuck baby… . No one else can fuck you like this but me….” He groaned, his hips beginning to snap in and out of you a little bit faster.

You almost cried at the change in pace as you nodded and babbled out, “ yes, you fuck me so good, only you… ”

Tobio continued to thrust into you, whispering praises and compliments into your ear as he pounded into you, telling you how good you felt around him, how lucky he was to have you all to himself.

He could feel your end approaching as he reached down and began to circle your clit, taking the small bud between his thumb and index finger and rolling it, causing your eyes to roll back into your head.

“Fuck! Tobio!” you cried, your fingers digging into his shoulders, “...m’ gonna cum…”

Kageyama’s head rested in the crook of his neck as his thrust quickened even further, he could feel his second high rising within him as well.

With a few more thrusts of his hips, he had you crying as you came on his cock, milking his second load of the night into you.

Kageyama stayed inside of you even after you both came down from your highs. You keened in the feeling of being stuffed full of his cum, his cock acting as a stopper to keep any of it from leaking out.

If you had your way, he would never pull out, you would never have to let go of this full feeling.

“Wanna stay in you forever.” He mumbled against your skin, his cock twitching as small aftershocks rocked through your pussy, surprising him with small squeezes every few seconds.

“Ok.” you giggled, wrapping your arms around him happily.

He let himself indulge for a few minutes before deciding that he wanted to inspect his work, he went back down to be eye level with your pussy, once again groaning at the sight of his cum along with your juices seeping out of your puffy hole.

“ No please. .” you gasped in surprise as his fingers started shoveling the cum back into your hole, pressing against the spongey texture of your g-spot with every thrust.

“Come on baby….” he encouraged, his fingers going from 0 to 100 as he mercilessly finger fucked you. “Give me one more orgasm, K?”

You nodded, there were tears in your eyes and your thighs were twitching as the sting of overstimulation took over your pussy. You knew that Kageyama would never push you too far, you knew that he only wanted to make you feel good.

Your second orgasm took you by surprise, the high ripping through your body as you began to convulse against your fiance’s fingers.

“Tobio!” you squealed, your hands flying down to his wrists, trying to stop the digits from continuing to fuck you through your high, you could feel yourself creaming all over the sheets and his teeth bit into your thighs.

“ Good girl ….” he growled as he replaced his fingers with his tongue, lapping up your juices as your body went limp against the bed. He pulled away, his chin glistening with your cum as he smiled adoringly down at you.

After a moment’s rest, he climbed off of the bed, leaning over and lifting you into his arms. He carried you to the bathroom and sat you down on top of the counter before retreating to the shower to turn it on.

When he returned to you, he wrapped his arms around your waist, enjoying the feeling of your plush, orgasm-rocked body against him.

“You did so well for me…..” he whispered into your skin, “I love you so much…”

You mewled at his words, your nose nestling against his hair as your own arms returned the gesture of wrapping around him.

Once the shower warmed up, he put both of you under the steady flow, the hot droplets relaxing you as you melted back against his chest while he contently washed your body.

Tobio looked down at you.

“You know all of my teammates wanted to take you home tonight…”

You hummed in response, only half-listening to your fiance as you continued to bask in your post-orgasm glow.

“I almost had to tell that you belong to me,” he continued, running his fingers across your body, lathering soap against your skin.

You hummed again.

“Tell me who you belong to baby,” he whispered, turning you around in his arms.

You looked up at him with a sweet smile on your face, your fingers coming up to thread through his soft wet hair. You leaned up and placed a sweet kiss against his jawline before resting your head into his chest, hearing the gentle thudding of his heartbeat.

“Tobio Kageyama,” you stated, “I am completely yours.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

[nat-20s]

what’s poppin everyone please have this fun lil writing warmup/short story inspired by me thinking “Dancing in the Moonlight” was definitely 100% about werewolves

~*~

“So, this your first transformation?”

The counselor? Leader? Tour guide? Asked this with a perfectly jovial tone, as if the typical social mores surrounding, ugh, lycanthropy, didn’t apply to her. They didn’t know what exact title to call her, and her name tag just said “Luna”, which, reflecting on it, either was a joke on her part or a reflection of her parents’ sense of humor.

Picking at the scabs from last month, they cringed and replied, “No. Uh. Second.”

Luna lets out a low whistle. “Oof. That sucks. Guessing you got bitten rather than inherited the ol’ wolfman gene?”

“That’s...kind of personal?”

Unlocking the front door of the log cabin that served as King Harvest’s Headquarters, Luna shrugs and says, “Shit, sorry. Forgot the whole weird stigma around your source of the once monthly nightmare, as if it fuckin matters. Also, I know, I know, ass out of you and me. Hey, you got any dietary restrictions? Gluten, peanut allergies, the like?”

Voice flat, they tell her, “I’m vegetarian,” and waits for the obvious response.

As they wander through the cabin towards the kitchen, Luna flipping on the light switches, generic club music starts to filter in. Instead of the obvious response, Luna asks, “You like veggie burgers? Or maybe pasta? I’d offer salad, but that’s really not gonna cut it for tonight.”

“I ate before I came.”

With a snort, she tells them, “Oh yeah? Did you have about 4000 calories?”

“No? Why would I have?”

Sweeping out her arm, she gestures at the food laying out on the counter and tells them, “Then eat up! 4000 is really a minimum for the night if you don’t want to feel like someone physically beat out all of your energy in the morning. 6000 is more the target area, but we got, hmm, about 15 minutes before things get uncomfortable, and half an hour max before things get dire.”

They glance down to the food, and, admittedly, the broccoli alfredo does look pretty appealing. Still, they have to ask, “Is this a cult?”

Luna lets out a bark of a laugh that has nothing to do with her (maybe) being a werewolf. “Okay, first of all, what kind of cult is like ‘fuck yeah, we’re a cult’? Secondly, despite the first thing, I can say that we’re not a cult. I know how “King Harvest: Center for Movement Therapy” sounds, both clinical and vague enough to be suspicious as hell, but I didn’t come up with the title, blame my long deceased dad for that one. Plus, ‘King Harvest: Bitchin’ Wolf Dance House’ probably wouldn’t look good on the grant applications.”

“Grants?”

“Oh yeah. This bad boy’s been publicly funded since its opening in 1972. Hence no membership fees.”

“Is that why animal control is giving out your business card? Are they one of your sponsors?”

“Nah, that’s just Jack. Me ‘n’ him go way back, hell, to his park ranger days.  I mean, yeah, I think he’ll campaign for us, but mostly I think he just hates capturing a wolf in the night only to have a naked, trembling human in the morning, and he knows that our program significantly reduces the odds of that happening, at least in this neck of the woods.”

They let out a hum, then glance back down to the food. As appealing as it down look, they’re still about..30% convinced this is an elaborate organ harvesting operation. Or sketchy sex thing.

Apparently sensing their hesitation, Luna says, “You got a favorite chip?”

“Salt and vinegar.”

Grabbing a sealed family sized bag from the overhead cabinets, Luna tosses it to them. “If you come back next full moon, either eat enough in advance or have a real meal here. That being said, excuse the turn of phrase, you should wolf that down. It’s sure as hell better than nothing.”

They catch it, and the bag opens with a puff of air that speaks to a reassuring lack of tampering. As they toss a chip into their mouth, Luna grabs a water bottle from the fridge and places it down next to them. “So? Any questions for me? We’ve still got about ten minutes before we have to go out there.”

Rolling their eyes, they tell her, “No. None at all.”

“Great! Soon as you’re done eating we’ll get you started.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“Yeah, no shit, smart-ass. Seriously, what are your, we haven’t got much time.”

“I don’t know? The whole..thing? I mean, how is it supposed to..work? Like? At all?”

“You ever see Amok Time?”

“Is that relevant?”

“It’s a yes or no question babe.”

“And if I say no?”

“Then the explanation is going to be a lot more technical and take a lot longer, ultimately to likely make less sense.”

“...I’ve seen it.”

“Great! So, Pon Farr is basically this chemical blood imbalance that results in fuck or die disorder, yeah? But then Spock neither fucks nor dies, and eventually the vulcans get their shit together and find out that an intense fight can serve the same function, and the blood fever chills out. Lycanthropy operates on a similar enough basis for comparison. You’re compelled to act out on energetically heavy base instincts, returning to the ways of the wolf or whatever. Traditionally, that’s done through running and hunting, which has, historically, been a crapshoot at best. Theoretically, sex can also get the job done, but I’m sure you can imagine how that gets extremely dicey extremely quickly. Either restraints or isolation has been implemented for a while, but, c’mon, they’re bandaid solutions, and they’re far from foolproof. Luckily for us all, my grandmother decided to connect back with her ancestors, and there was a handful of stories having huge festivals to deal with ‘moon violence’. She tried it out, and, yeah, dancing works.”

“That sounds…”

They don’t know how that sounds. Made up, mostly.

“Like a bunch of hippie bullshit? Yeah, it kind of is, Grandma Josephine was a huge hippie, but it’s hippie bullshit that works. In fact, let’s go see the others, it almost always makes things clearer.”

Figuring that whatever they’re about to see can’t be worse than their transformation last month. They head through the sliding glass door out the back, the thump of the music suddenly loud enough to be felt in their chest. The sight that awaits them makes them drop their chips and let out a gasp. Barely able to speak, they exhale out, “None of them...they’re not wolves. How..how??”

Indeed, the roughly forty people jumping to the pulse of whatever they’re listening to (some to the in house DJ, some, apparently, to what’s playing over the large headphones they have adorned), resemble the image of a wolfman much more accurately. They bare claws, fangs, elongated snouts, upright ears, and  serious amounts of hair, but they’re on two legs, and moving like humans. Some of them are even singing along to the lyrics, which really shouldn’t be possible.

Luna grins, making it obvious that she’s used to this level of shell shocks. “Ultimately, you do have to give into some damn rigorous instincts. But dancing is a human instinct, not a canine one, so you end up, well, humanoid. Pretty nifty, huh?”

“And they all..they all keep their minds? I didn’t...they don’t blackout?”

“Not since we banned alcohol in the 90s! Here, watch this.”

Luna nods her head at the DJ, and the DJ, obligingly, turns down the music for a moment. The members of the crowd not listening to their own music pause, then look towards the door. She cries out, “Hey gang! HOW WE ALL DOIN’ TONIGHT?”, and gets a mix between a howl and “WOO!” cried back. The DJ then turns the music back up, and the general movement of the crowd resumes.

They should be more skeptical. They want to be more skeptical, they were just minutes before, but it’s hard to disagree with something right in front of you. “This will work for me? I just..have to dance?”

“Well, it’s not guaranteed. Few things are. But we have yet to have someone turn violent on us. If you start to fell yourself slipping from consciousness, though, I do ask that you start heading further into the woods, as to not hurt other guest. If you find yourself just getting tired, there’s beds inside, and a fair amount of pillows around the edge of the quote unquote dance floor, if you end up in more of a nesting mood. Also, I recommend taking off your shoes before you start.”

“What? Why?”

Luna gives a pointed glance at the dancers’ feet, which, ah. They’re about twice as large as normal and at least twice as sharp. The converse on their feet would be no match. “Ah.”

“Ready?”

They shove off their shoes and place the remainder of their chips aside. “As I’ll ever be.”

Good thing, too, as they’re starting to feel an uncomfortable pressure in their chest that was the prelude to disaster last month.

Luna strides to the center of the dance floor, which is really a plush lawn surrounded by forest. The crowd naturally moves around her, and she yells out, “Aiyana! Play my song!”

Aiyana gives a nod, and the opening notes of “Dancing in the Moonlight” start to sound out. “Seriously?”

Luna shrugs, grinning like a fool, and says, “It’s a classic!”

“It’s cliché at best.”

Luna shrugs, and then begins dancing. She’s hardly elegant, but she is dazzlingly joyful in her uncoordinated movements. As the song reaches the first chorus, she gives a twirl, and in the split second it takes, she’s transformed. They blink in shock, not knowing you could transform that seamlessly, that quickly, that painlessly. Luna in half wolf form is just as expressive as the human Luna, and she gives a nod over her shoulder as if to say Come on.

Feeling somewhat foolish, they start to bop their head to the tune. Luna lets out a huff and grabs their hands, spinning them around and forcing them to get moving. At first, it’s them indulging Luna, but as they let themselves get lost in rhythm, they feel a stretching sensation in their face and limbs. It’s not unpleasant, more like when you wake up and work out the tension in your spine. They open their eyes and look down at their hands, now covered in fur in and made for slashing. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t hurt, and they’re still themselves, and they had no idea that full moons could be like this, maybe for the rest of their lives.

They turn their head to the night sky, and their body can’t help but continue to dance. Despite all their fear, all their dread, “movement therapy” worked, and they can admit, at least to themselves, that they feel warm and bright.

[cocochannel00]

Don’t Leave Me Alone

This is so long overdue and I apologize for such a long wait but here it is!! I hope you guys enjoy and as always requests are slow, but always open!

Description: over 6k words, dad!Harry, husband!Harry, Pregnant Y/n, Angst, Fluff.

Masterlist can be found here!

Sometimes when you’re pregnant all you need is a little break...

Kids: Connor (2), Rebecca (1)

You felt like a whale, and not one of those cute baby whales you see at the aquarium. No, you felt like a fat Blue Whale that was about to explode. You were six months pregnant and it had not been as glamorous as Beyonce made it seem. So far you had spent the first trimester throwing up at least twice a day and your second trimester going through insane hot flashes that left you contemplating whether going to the grocery store nude would be that bad of an idea. You were hoping your last trimester would be somewhat more bearable but seeing as the two devils inside you were currently competing to see who could break your rib first, you had a feeling it wasn't going to get better.

You weren't usually one to complain out loud or at least about your own personal problems, but this pregnancy, unlike your last two, was starting to get on your last nerve and so was Harry. You admit you were a bit more agitated than normal but Harry was definitely not helping. He had taken his own form of paternity leave a little over three weeks ago after a small scare you had with one of the twins. You thought that having him home so much would be amazing and you could use the extra help with Connor and Rebecca, especially since your baby girl was just learning how to properly walk. So far she had nearly cracked her head against the edge of the shoe rack in your mudroom which had led you to bubble wrap nearly every corner of your house. You were nearly at your wit's end and there seemed to be no end in sight.

Luckily today was Sunday so you let yourself indulge in a few extra hours of sleep while Harry watched the kids. You had kicked him out of bed last night because his body was like a furnace and in between the hot flashes you were having and the fact that you were feeling too insecure to lay naked next to him, you had sent him to the guest room. At 3 a.m. Harry thought nothing of it and since he was sleep deprived as well he probably jumped at the chance to get away from you and get some sleep without all of her moaning and groaning. You and Harry had spent the last week snapping at each other constantly over little things, but you hoped with a couple of more hours of sleep your hormones would cool down a bit even if your body couldn't.  

The sun was already shining through the window as you rolled around to check your alarm clock that read 10:30 a.m. Well, at least you had gotten to sleep in a bit before the twins started their kickboxing match. You had just finished the ever-challenging task of sitting up on your bed when you heard two piercing cries come from downstairs. You carefully pushed off the bed and leaned against the nightstand to gain your balance before heading to your closet to get dressed. The only thing you were willing to wear these days were dresses. They were elastic, lightweight, and the only thing that you wouldn't sweat through 30 seconds after putting it on. You decided that you would try and be optimistic about the day so you wore Harry's favorite blue dress with sunflowers. You should have thrown it out after your first pregnancy but it held so many memories that you couldn't get yourself to part with it. You were just walking out of the room when a crying Connor came barreling towards your legs.

"Mama" he cried as he buried his face in your dress. You could barely see him under your belly but you wrapped your arms around his back and stroked his brown curls softly.

"What happened baby?" you asked quietly as he scrunched the end of your dress in his tiny fists and wiped his eyes.

"I play with Becca... and fell... and dada mad...and I cry" he mumbled.

"Oh, baby I'm sure it was an accident. Is Becca okay?" you asked as you grabbed his hand and started carefully walking down the stairs with Connor.

"Uh-huh mama accident" he mumbled with a slight lisp.

"That's okay, baby. I'm sure daddy was just worried and that's why he got mad. Let's go make sure Becca's okay" you replied back as you made it down the last steps of the stairs.

You waddle passed the kitchen door to find Harry sitting on a kitchen stool with your daughter in his arms, an ice pack placed on your baby girl's lip as big crocodile tears fell down her face.  

"Connor I think Becca would feel so much better if you drew her one of your special pictures. Do you think you could draw her one?" you asked your baby boy as you rubbed his back.

"Yes, mama I draw. Stickers too" he mumbled as he ran into the adjacent living room.

Once your baby boy was cheerful again you made your way to your daughter and picked her up from your husband's arms.

"And what happened to you, my love? I leave you with your dada for five minutes and you get a boo-boo on your lip" you whispered to her as she tucked her face into her neck.

"Dada turned around for 2 seconds and this is what happened" Harry grumbled as he leaned against the granite countertop.

"Two seconds?" you questioned as you bounced your little girl softly. Harry groaned.

"Ok, it was like 5 minutes. Jeff called me and we were trying to figure out when would be a good time to get into the studio before you give birth and I was distracted and I heard her scream and there was blood and I yelled and Connor started to cry and..."

"Harry I told you already that you can't leave her alone. She's just figuring out how to walk and she bumps into everything. What did she even hit her lip on? Every sharp edge of the furniture is wrapped in bubble wrap." you replied harsher than you wanted too.

"I don't know (y/n). I was talking and she must have bumped her lip on the floor or maybe the bottom leg of the table? It wasn't my fault, it was an accident" He exclaimed defensively as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Harry, it is your fault though. You should have been watching her while you were on the phone. You watch tv while on the phone all the time! The least you could do is watch your own children" you replied back in frustration. You weren't sure if it was your hormones or the fact that you were hungry that was causing the wave of anxiety and anger, but you had a feeling this conversation wasn't going to end well.

"I get it (y/n) I should have been watching her, but maybe if I wasn't getting kicked out of my own bed at 3 am because of your moods. I'll make you some breakfast, maybe it will make you less cranky" he grumbled as he made his way to the toaster.

"I don't want your stupid breakfast and I'm sorry if the two children you helped create make my body feel like it's burning. Maybe we should get you pregnant and see what happens" You repeat harshly as you cradle your baby and went to put her down in her highchair with some cheerios.

"Love, I want to help you... I know this pregnancy has been much harder than the others but I can't help if you kick me out of our bed. You need to tell me what you want me to do" Harry pleaded as he placed some bread in the toaster and turned to face you.

"I want these babies out. I want to not be the size of a whale. I want to sneeze without peeing myself and I want to walk more than five feet without getting heartburn. I want..." you started before the tears began to fall.

"Oh baby, no" Harry mumbled before he ran around the counter to engulf you in a hug. "I know this has been hard and I'm sorry I haven't been as helpful as I should have. I'll make more time for our family and I'll-"

"But I need you to actually do those things, H. You promised me when we got pregnant that you'd be finished with everything by the time the babies got fussy" You mumbled as you put your hands on his chest

"I know, love, and I am, I promise. Once the band and I record a couple more songs in the studio next week I'm all yours," he whispered as you shook your head violently.

"No! You won't be all mine. You'll find something else you'll need to do and then I'll have to watch the kids alone and I can barely walk and you're just going to leave"you all but yelled as you turned your back to Harry.

"(y/n)... what? What are you talking about? Of course, I'm going to be here. I've been home for weeks helping out" he replied back confused.

"Harry every day you've been home you're always locked away in your office or the studio downstairs. You bath the kids, you feed them lunch, great! That's the bare minimum. Who's the one that has to stop their tantrums or bubble wrap the house so they won't get hurt or even try and run around the garden with them while being the size of cow cause it sure as heck isn't you. And then once you're done with the album, you'll be on tour and I'll be alone again." you grumbled angrily.

"(Y/n) you are not the size of a cow and you know I'll give up my music the minute you tell me" he replied.

"I don't want you to give up your music" you stated stubbornly as Harry groaned.

"(Y/n), what is this really about then?" Harry asked tiredly.

"I need a break, Harry... I need to get away from here. The stress and the kids and the babies, I just... I need to go" you cried softly as you wrapped your arms around your bump and watched your baby girl play happily with her food, oblivious to the meltdown happening a few feet away from her.

"Baby, you're scaring me. What do you mean by go away? Do you want to head up north together? We can take the kids up to the cottage or visit my mum" he said quietly trying to hug you, but you stepped away.

"No Harry I need to get away from here... from you" you mumbled just as Connor walked into the room with his drawing.

"Mama look finish," he said with a squeal as you quickly wiped your tears and slowly crouched down to look at his drawing.

"It's beautiful, my love! Why don't we hang it on the fridge so Becca can see it every morning?" You replied back with a small smile as you used all of your strength to stand up again.

Harry saw you wobble slightly and quickly went to help you up from your crouched position. You leaned on his body as he steadied you from falling. You mumbled a quick thanks before going to the fridge with your little boy and helping him place his drawing on the fridge door with some magnets.

"Mommy's very tired baby, why don't you ask daddy and see if he'll make you mac and cheese for lunch while I take your sister up for her nap," you spoke to your son as he nodded with excitement. You carefully went and picked up your daughter from her high chair as Harry grabbed your elbow.

"(Y/n) come on, we're not done talking about all of this. You haven't eaten either. You've got me worried" Harry whispered as he looked at you expectantly.

"I'm not hungry now, thank you. It was a long night and I'm not feeling the best. Go make Connor's lunch, please" You replied as you began to make your way up the stairs.

You finally made it up the stairs with only a bit of heartburn to show for it. You carefully placed your baby girl in her crib and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. You whispered a quick goodbye and started packing a bag. As you threw some dresses and a couple of sweaters into a duffle bag you called Anne who thankfully picked up on the first ring.

"Hello (y/n), how are you? How are the babies" she spoke cheerfully.

"Hi, Anne. I'm doing okay, the twins are definitely fighters. They're going to be a handful" you sniffled softly.

"Oh, sweetheart what's going on?" Anne asked, concern laced in her voice.

"I need to get away for awhile. Harry and the kids and the babies it's just all too much right now. I feel like I'm losing my mind and my hormones are all over the place and it's just so overwhelming and all Harry and I do is fight and I..." you said as you began to hyperventilate.

"(Y/n), I need you to breathe sweetheart, Okay? Stress isn't good for the babies and you already had that scare a couple of weeks back. Breathe love. Pregnancy can very hard and i know these twins haven't made it easy. Do you want me to yell at Harry for you?" she asked softly.

"No, no, it's okay. I just... I need to go somewhere for a couple of days. Just to get myself together before I say something or do something that I..." you started but you couldn't think straight.

"Okay love, that's okay. Everyone needs a little break every once in a while. Why don't you pack some clothes and your pregnancy pillow and come spend a couple of days here in Cheshire with me? I'll call Harry right now to tell him and he can stay and watch the kids for a bit. Why don't you call Gary and ask if he can drive you?" Anne asked.

"Yes, that sounds good" you mumbled as you began looking for your pillow.

"Ok, my love. I'll call Harry and tell him what's going on so he doesn't worry. You just message Gary, ok?"

"Yes, thank you, Anne. See you soon," you replied as Anne said her goodbyes.

After hanging up on Anne you texted Gary to ask if he could pick you up and drive you to Anne's. He agreed and told you he would be there in 15 minutes, giving you enough time to finish packing and say goodbye to your babies.

You were mid-way through packing your toiletries when you heard Harry's footsteps running up the stairs. He walked past your room and towards Connor's before making his way back to you.

"Mom just called me" he spoke softly as he approached you.

"Yes. Gary will be here soon to drive me up to her house" you replied as you placed your toothbrush in your bag and zipped it close.

"I'm glad he's driving you up... (Y/n) what's... what's going on baby. I need to know what's going through your head right now" he whispered as he wrapped his arms around your body tightly.

"My hormones have been all over the place and then I think the scare a couple of weeks ago has made me even more anxious because I don't want anything to happen to our babies and... I can't sleep well at night and I just..." you stammered as you forced yourself to take deep breaths while Harry rubbed circles into your lower back.

"Shhh, love... I know. I think staying with Mum for a couple of days will be good for you, give you some time to relax. I'll make sure the kids are okay and you just message me when you're ready to come back. I'll be just a call away if you need anything" He replied back as he continued to hug you tightly.

"You're not mad at me?" you asked as you looked him in the eye for the first time since your breakdown in the kitchen.

"Of course not, love. I know this pregnancy has been hell for you and I haven't been the best support these past couple of days so I think it will be good for you to have some time to yourself. I'll make sure the kids are ok and if I need I'll call up Gemma. Now, come on, Gary's waiting outside for you. I'll bring your bag and your pillow while you say goodbye to Connor and Becca" he stated as he placed a soft kiss to your forehead before grabbing your bags and heading down the stairs.

Carefully you slipped on your Dr.Scholls flip flops and made your way to Connor's room to say goodbye. Connor was playing with his blocks on the floor happily as you quietly called out his name as you went to take a seat on the rocking chair in his room. Connor stared up at you with a smile and ran over to hug you.

"Mama look blocks," he said excitedly as he pointed at the tower he had abandoned.

"Yes, baby it's a beautiful tower. Listen, love, mommy has to tell you something, ok? I want you to listen to mommy, ok? Can you listen to mommy?" you asked your little boy as he shook his head vigorously.

"Mommy's going to go spend a couple of days with Grandma Anne while you and Becca stay with daddy. You guys are going to have so much fun together! You're going to play lots of games together and maybe in a couple of days, you can come to visit." You spoke as the little boy frowned.

"I no go grandmas?" He asked quietly as he frowned.

"No baby, not yet. You have to stay and help daddy with Becca. Can you do that for me?" you explained to Connor as he nodded his head and hugged you tighter.

"Thank you, Connor. You're getting to be such a big boy. Thank you for watching your sister for me. Why don't you come with me so I can say bye to Becca and we can meet daddy downstairs" you mumbled as you stood up while taking your son's hand and slowly made your way to Becca's room.

Becca was peacefully sleeping in her crib when you walked in. You didn't want to wake her up and make Harry's day more difficult than it already was so you gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and made your way downstairs. Harry was at the door talking with Gary, most likely giving him instructions on getting me safe to Anne's. Harry saw you from the corner of his eye and quickly came to help you down the last few steps. Once you had made it to the bottom, Harry went to grab a lunchbox from the kitchen and passed it to you.

"Packed you a couple of snacks and a sandwich for the road and some of those weird gummies you've been craving," he stated, a small smile on his face as he crouched down to pick up your two-year-old in his arms.

"Say bye-bye to mamma, Connor. We'll see her in a couple of days." Harry mumbled to the little boy that pouted as he waved his little hand goodbye.

"Bye mama" Connor whispered as you kissed his forehead. You smiled with watery eyes as you said goodbye to your little boy before looking at Harry.

"I love you (y/n)" He told you as you whispered a soft 'I love you" back. You gave him a chaste kiss on the lips before walking outside to meet Gary.

You greeted Gary and got into the back seat of the black suburban that would be driving you to Anne's. By the time you rounded the end of your street you were fast asleep.

                           ----------------------------------------------------------------

Harry's POV:

I was officially going to lose it. I had been close over the years, but if either one of my kids cries one more time today I was going to have a mental breakdown. It had been four days since (Y/n) had gone to my mum's house and I had been left to watch the kids by myself. If there's anything I've learned from the last couple of days it's that my wife is fucking Wonder woman. I don't know how she managed to keep it together for so long because I was falling apart at the seams already.

It's not like I hadn't taken care of the two of them by myself before. I had numerous times when (Y/n) had worked late shifts at the hospital or had taken a weekend trip with her friends but for some reason, these past couple of days have been far worse than any of the previous ones. Becca had made it her absolute mission to try and run herself into every corner she could. So far she had managed to fall at least four times, all ending with a minimum three-hour cry afterward. Connor tried to help calm down Becca but most of the time he would just get upset because she was and they both end up crying. Yesterday had been the breakpoint for me though.

I had managed to keep Becca and Connor from crying all afternoon which was quite a miracle and just as I was putting them to bed, Becca saw a picture of (Y/n) in the hallway and began to scream for (y/n). This consequently woke Connor up who also cried because he could go to sleep so the three of us ended up in (y/n) and I's bed cuddled in the sheets as both of my kids cried through the night. The only person I knew that could fix this situation besides (Y/n) was Gemma and after practically begging her and promising to not be a dick when she came she said yes to helping me out.

After giving up on trying to get the kids out of their pajamas, I grabbed them both in my arms and walked them downstairs to start on some breakfast. They seemed to have tired themselves out with all of their crying so for the time being, they sat down quietly in their respective chairs and munched on their cheerios. I had just finished up making some Oatmeal when the doorbell rang, signaling that Gemma had arrived.

"Mama" Connor mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

"No baby not mama yet, but aunty Gemma came to visit. Should we go open the door?" I asked as he nodded excitedly.

I grabbed Becca out of her high chair and held Connor's hand as we made our way to the door. As soon as I opened it Connor sprinted into Gemma's arms in a fit of giggles. It was nice to hear him laugh after all the crying that had been going on these past couple of days. I gave Gemma a quick kiss on the cheek before letting her in and walking back into the kitchen.

"Looking a little rough there Har. When's the last time you shaved those whiskers on your lip" Gemma laughed as she grabbed Becca from my arms and held her.

"Shut it. I haven't slept in days. Feel like I'm losing my mind" I mumbled as I poured the oatmeal into two bowls.

"You want anything to eat? Can make some toast and scrambled eggs" I asked as Gemma shook her head.

"Mama mama" Becca mumbled as she clawed at Gemma's shirt.

"I might have boobs like mama but mine, unfortunately, can't give you what you want little one" Gemma replied back as I laughed.

"Lot's of missing mama this week from all of us. Have you gotten a chance to check in with mom yet? See how (y/n)'s doing? Didn't want to be annoying so I haven't called since the first day" I stated as I placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of Connor and gave the other to Gemma to start feeding Becca.

"Mom said she's been okay. I think the fresh air is helping but her hormones are still all over. Mom said she was feeling a bit insecure about her size the other day but was starting to get better about it." Gemma replied as she fed Becca a spoonful of oatmeal.

"Insecure? She's pregnant. I think she's glowing. Nothing more beautiful than a pregnant lady" I said with a frown think about (Y/n).

"I know but Tracey always says that being the pregnant one is different. It feels like everyone's always watching you and now that she has twins she feels even bigger. One baby is bad enough but two of them with your big head inside at once can't be at all comfortable" Gemma said.

"I know but she's big because she has two of my babies and I think she looks breathtaking."

"Did you tell her that recently?" Gemma asked.

"Well... no ... maybe I- I think so" I mumbled as Gemma glared at me.

"I know I know I should have told her more often but I got busy and then Jeff kept calling and she'd kick me out of bed and-"

"Harry everything you just said is why (Y/n) needed a break. You hadn't been paying attention to her at all or the kids because you were so caught up in work. Now that you've realized that as a parent of two and two on the way you need to step it up because your wife can't do it by herself. You can't overwhelm yourself with work especially with the scare (Y/n) had a couple of weeks back."

"I know I know, but I don't know how to help her if she pushes me away" I replied back in frustration.

"Why don't you start by calling Jeff and canceling all those recording sessions you have planned. I know your job and your music is important but you need to put your family first and the health of your wife and your babies" Gemma stated as she wiped some oatmeal off of Becca's cheek.

"I already did! Once (Y/n) left I canceled all of the sessions and interviews and meetings that I couldn't do from home. Told Jeff that after this week I was officially going on a break until after the twins are born and we're all settled." I replied as I passed Connor a napkin for his sticky hands.

"Well did you tell (Y/n) or mom any of this cause (Y/n) is so stressed you'll miss the birth of the babies cause of your work!" Gemma said sternly as she looked at me.

"Bu-but why would she think I'd miss it! Haven't missed any of the births or her appointments?" I groaned.

"I think she's just scared. You were out of town when the bleeding started and she was an absolute wreck when I took her to the hospital. Doctors said they had to give her a sedative because she nearly had a panic attack in the ER and her blood pressure skyrocketed. Mom said she was panicking on the phone when she called her" Gemma replied as she bounced Becca up and down on her lap.

"Careful, she'll vomit. God, I wish I could just see (Y/n) but I don't want to make things worse"

"I think both of you suffered enough with this time apart so why don't you call mom and tell her you and these little rascals are coming up today. Once you called me I texted mom to let her know you'd probably make an appearance today" Gemma replied as she tickled Becca's tummy.

"You're right, I should. I'm going to call mom and let her know. Can you pack Becca a bag and maybe change her diaper?" I asked as I made my way to go find my phone upstairs.

"Bag, yes. Diaper, hell no" Gemma mumbled as I laughed.

                           -------------------------------------------------------------

(Y/N) POV:

Today was a good day. You had managed to make it the entire morning without crying which is more than you can say for the other three days you had spent at Anne's house. It looked like you had finally managed to get your hormones under control and were even excited to spend the day in town with Anne. You had promised her that after moping around her house since you got there that you would spend today with her in town as long as you could stop to get one of those chocolate croissants Harry always brought from the bakery.

You waddled down the stairs in the navy blue Gucci dress Harry bought you for Christmas that cinched just above your belly, making you look all the more pregnant. You didn't necessarily like it the first couple of times you tried it on but every time you wore it Harry's face would light up with a smile and that was enough for you to wear it a bit more often.

"Good morning (Y/n), how did you sleep last night? Did the ice pack behind your neck help with the hot flashes?" Anne asked as she sipped her cup of coffee at the kitchen table.

"It was a miracle worker, first time in months that I haven't woken up in a puddle of my own sweat" you replied back as you gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and sat down next to her.

"I'm glad. I know you're not a tea drinker but can I get you some decaf or maybe some hot chocolate? I think I have some from the last time you guys were over" Anne replied as she got up to get her a mug.

"Hot chocolate sounds wonderful. I can make it though don't worry" you said as Anne waved you away and began taking out the chocolate mix.  

"So how are you feeling today? Better with the hormones and such?" Anne asked cautiously as she stirred the hot chocolate and placed it in front of you.

"I've gotten them under control for the most time, I usually only feel like crying when I to miss Harry and my other babies. Wish they could have come up for a bit but it's been nice to spend some time with you and away from the chaos."

"It's been very nice having you here and I can't wait to meet two more of my grandbabies. Speaking of Harry, he called me this morning?" Anne mumbled into her coffee.

"Is he ok? Are my babies ok? Is someone hurt?" You questioned with a jump.

"Everyone's fine don't worry. Just wanted to see how you were doing." Anne replied. You relaxed back into your seat knowing that everyone was ok at home.

"Thank god. I was worried about leaving them with Harry. He's a great dad, but they can be a handful especially if they tag team you with the crying. It's enough to pull your hair out" you mumble as Anne laughs.

"I can only imagine. Gemma was pretty calm as a child, but Harry was my little attention seeker, couldn't put him down without the tears starting"

"Becca's the same way. If you leave her alone more than a quick bathroom break she'll start screaming her head off. I miss them..." you stated as you grabbed a biscuit and shoved it in your mouth.

"Well a little birdy might have mentioned that someone special could be coming up later today" Anne mumbled trying to hide her grin behind her mug.

"What? What do you mean? Is Harry coming up here?!" You asked excitedly as you nearly drop your coffee mug on the floor.

Anne nodded as you crushed her into bear hug and placed a kiss to her cheek.

"Thank you thank you" you whispered as you held her tight.

"It was all Gemma, dear. And besides, I think you both could really use it. From what I hear my grandkids aren't making it the easiest time. They should be here within the next half hour so why don't you go get dressed and I'll get the kids room all set up for them?" Anne replied as she carefully helped you stand and walked you up the stairs.

Once upstairs, you could help but let out a small squeal at the idea of finally seeing Harry and your kids again. It had only been a couple of days and even though you always love spending some girl time alone with Anne, it was time to see all of your babies (Harry included). You decided to take a quick shower before throwing on a coral pink wrap dress that cut off just above the knee. Just as you were putting on your sneakers (probably the most comfortable shoes you own tbh) Anne knocked on the door to tell you that Harry's car had just pulled into the drive way. You smiled and quickly finished tying your shoes before carefully, but quickly, made your way down the stairs and to the front door.

The sight in front of you was almost too much for you to handle. Connor stood at the side of the car staring at the birds playing the bird feeder. His foot pajamas were covered in what you could only assume was banana stains and the shoe laces on his Gucci sneakers were untied. Your husband stood with his back to you as he wrestled with the fussy one year old in the car street. His pajama pants were riding low on his hips and the white cotton t shirt he sometimes wears to bed had a large stain on his right shoulder, most likely from burping Becca. Just as you were about to approach your little family when suddenly you son came running towards you.

"Mama mama... I here" Connor called out as he hurled himself towards you.

"I see that baby! How are you? Were you good for dada?" You asked him as you carefully lifted him up in your arms and nodded his head.

"I good mama. I good" he stated enthusiastically as you placed a kiss to his cheek.

"How is my favorite grandbaby boy doing? Come with me so your mommy can go help daddy with Becca" Anne stated as Connor all but launched himself at his grandma with a squeal.

You gave Anne a smile before walking over to Harry. You tapped on his shoulder and watched as his shoulders relaxed and he carefully turned around to see you. The weeks could be seen right on his face. His hair was shooting out every which way, a curl follow over his eyes every now and then. There was also a slight hint of stubble across his chin which you knew only appeared after he had gone a couple of days without shaving. The stain on the shoulder of his pajama shirt wasn't the only one on his shirt as you saw a couple splatters of green which you could only assume was peas. He was mess all over, but he was your mess. He gave you the soft smile that you fell in love with all those years ago and you practically tumbled into his arms.

"Hello my love" he mumbled into your hair as he brushed a strand of it behind your ear while rubbing his other hand up and down your back.

"Hi H" you whispered as tears began to prick your eyes.

"I missed you so much, the kids and I were a mess without you but I hope you got to relax a bit" Harry whispered into your ear.

"It was nice, but I missed you all a lot. I hope they weren't to much trouble" you mumbled into his neck.

"Let's just say it's a miracle we didn't get a noise complaint from all of the crying but we survived... barely." Harry replied as you laughed.

The two of you stood there for a bit before you began to hear your daughter's soft whines coming from the open car door. You carefully detached yourself from Harry and made your way to your daughter who sat in her car seat, eyes wide looking at the two of you.

"Hello baby. How is my precious girl doing? Did you make daddy's life difficult?" you mumbled in a baby voice as you picked her up from her car seat and cradled her into your neck.

She let out a soft whine before snuggling into your chest and closing her eyes again.

"All she needed was her mama" Harry replied as he wrapped his arms around you from behind and placed a kiss to your temple.

"All I needed was you" you whispered back as you placed a soft kiss to his lips.

"I love you (Y/n)"

"I love you too, H"

[goldentournesol]

Proper Date

(Spencer Reid x Reader)

The one where Spencer and Y/N go on a proper date after being kidnapped together.

Part 2 of Unwanted Matchmaker: Read Part 1 here :)

A/N: makes minor references to Part 1, but can be read without reading it. ENJOY SOME SPENCER FLUFF! i got a little carried away...but it’s worth it! thank you to @theamuz , @andiebeaword , @yourwonderbelle​ for requesting a part 2! 

Length: 2.5k

masterlist

Luckily enough, Friday came sooner than Spencer had thought it would. He was finally able to take a break from the team. Y/N had texted him Friday morning to confirm the date. She hadn’t stopped thinking about him for a single moment ever since they went their separate ways the day of the fateful kidnapping. She never thought she’d ever be thankful for such a situation.

She was nervous, she knew very little about the Dr., but had gathered bits and pieces of him on the days she saw him at that coffee shop. She thought he was gorgeous. She also thought she may have imagined it when she caught his eyes lingering on her once or twice, but the imagination became set in stone when his face broke into what seemed like the most adorable shy smile that could possibly appear on someone’s face. She should have talked to him then, but she would have been late to her class. She couldn’t have been more glad to go on a date with him.

Spencer had gotten off work two hours early to ensure he had enough time to be nervous while getting ready.

“Woah, where you goin’, pretty boy?” Morgan asked as he watched Spencer begin to pack his things.

Spencer rolled his eyes, he should have timed his exit better, “Uh...I have an appointment?” He made an attempt to lie. 

“You always this nervous going to appointments?” Emily chimed in.

“Wait, wait, what day is it?” Morgan asked.

“Friday.” Emily replied.

A knowing smile made a home on Morgan’s face, “Aha! Pretty boy’s got a date!” Spencer quickly shot him a look that screamed, ‘how did you know?!’, “I may have overheard you talking to the girl the day the unsub took you.”

Once again, Spencer rolled his eyes, “My God, can’t I have just one thing to myself? Just once?” He tried to hide his smile though.

“Nu-uh, not when it’s making you this nervous!” Emily pointed out, noticing how Spencer’s hand was turning white at the intensity it held onto his bag.

“Well, Emily, it’s not every day that I have a date with someone who is practically the embodiment of beauty.” Spencer uttered with a slew of exasperated hand motions.

Morgan let out a chuckle, “Calm down, kid. She seemed really into you. I’m sure she’s just as dorky as you are.” Emily smiled endearingly at the youngest member of their team and nodded.

“Yeah, haven’t you guys been in contact like..all week? She wouldn’t have done that if she wasn’t interested.” She added and noticed the slight drop of Spencer’s shoulders. Maybe they were right, he probably had nothing to worry about. He nodded and began to smile.

“Go get her, kid. Just try to keep the statistics at a minimum.” He joked around before Emily interjected quickly, “No! Be yourself!” Spencer laughed and gave them a double thumbs up before quickly saying goodbye and heading home.

He called the restaurant to double check his reservation and tried to pick out an outfit that wouldn’t scream, ‘I got off work two hours early’. He showered, shaved, and attempted to style his hair, but it was too much of a task to tackle, so he left it to do whatever it pleased. He decided he’d stick to his normal attire with a white and blue checkered button down, a navy v-neck sweater and a matching blazer to elevate the look. He contemplated whether or not a tie would make the outfit over the top, but then remembered that the restaurant would be quite fancy and added it anyway. He left his house a half hour early to make sure he had enough time to pick up a bouquet. That was romantic, right? People do this all the time, right? He took a deep breath and reminded himself to stop stressing. He decided to get her red flowers to match the dress she wore when he first saw her. She was wearing a white dress with a motif of small red flowers with black centers, it was safe to say she blew him away that day. 

He checked the time and saw that it was still early, so he texted her. They had agreed on meeting at the restaurant, but he just couldn’t wait to see her.

“Hey, would it be okay if I picked you up instead of meeting there?” She lived closer to the restaurant anyway and he wanted to ensure her safety any time he possibly could.

“Yeah, sure! I’ll send you the location.” She did just that and Spencer made it there on time, of course.

He took a deep breath as he stood at her doorstep with the bouquet of flowers. He gave himself a miniature pep talk and knocked on the door three times. Spencer hoped the knocks were louder than his heartbeats beating relentlessly in his ears.

Y/N’s heart leapt as she heard the knocks, “Coming! Just one second!” She made her way over to the door, struggling to put in one of her earrings. 

She opened the door for him, “I’m sorry, I’m almost rea-” She breath caught in her throat as she took in the sight of him. She admired his every angle, he looked immaculate to say the least. She’d only noticed that she dropped her earring on the floor because she followed his eyes to where it lay.

“You..um, dropped your..” He stuttered, turning red. Was it him who made her nervous? She laughed nervously and retrieved it quickly, putting it on. He cleared his throat to try to regain his composure from seeing her, “You look...stunning.” He let out a breath and shook his head as if to clear the fog in his brain that she unintentionally created, “Oh! Um, and these are for you!” He extended the arm holding the bouquet. 

She smiled and accepted them graciously, “Oh, these are beautiful, you didn’t have to trouble yourself, Dr. Reid.” He loved the way his name sounded coming from her.

“It was nothing, really, it’s the least I could do, and please, call me Spencer.” He smiled and she mirrored it instantly.

“Come in, Spencer. I’ll put these in a vase, put on my shoes, and we’ll head right out!” He watched her as she disappeared into her apartment. 

A sparkly, form-fitting black dress adorned her figure contrasting to the flowy nature of the dresses Spencer had usually seen her in. He tried not to profile her apartment as much as he could, but he was too curious not to. He saw unfinished canvases and the apartment smelled vaguely of paint thinner. He admired her paintings but also tried not to snoop. She came out of her room, completely ready, and saw him staring at her paintings.

“Uhm, those aren’t quite done yet.” She stated shyly, “I have a habit of getting sidetracked.” She giggled and gestured to her unfinished paintings. 

He smiled as he turned to her, “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to poke around.” He stated quickly but she just smiled at him, “These are incredible, I don’t believe I have a single artistic bone in my body.” He laughed.

“Yeah, right! That can’t be true.” She teased. 

Spencer grinned and checked the time, “Are you all done? We should get going. I hope you don’t mind walking there.” She nodded and they made their way out. The restaurant was a short walk away and the whole time Spencer fiddled with his hands in his pockets nervously except for when he was describing something, a habit he had. They arrived at the restaurant.

“Good evening, reservation for Dr. Reid.��� Spencer said and Y/N hated the way her stomach went into a fit of somersaults at that. That was a lie, she kind of loved it.

They were seated and they could finally make uninterrupted eye-contact. She smiled at him and Spencer hoped his swooning wasn’t too obvious. They ordered their food and made conversation as they waited.

“So, Spencer, how did you get into the FBI?” She asked as she propped her chin on her hand. Her gaze was enough to send Spencer into the next dimension.

“Believe it or not, I’m unbelievably athletic.” He joked and she bubbled with laughter. Spencer couldn’t take his eyes off her as she laughed, determined to never stop her from doing it, “seriously,” he continued, “they took one look at me at the academy and were like, yeah we need this dude chasing down bad guys immediately!” She laughed again and shook her head.

“Aw, come on, don’t bring yourself down!” She smiled wide and took one of his hands that were resting on the table. Spencer’s heart soared at the action and was glad it was different from the way it felt as she clutched his hand when they were kidnapped together.

“I guess the FBI needed me because well...serial killers and criminals often have a tendency to create puzzles that are seemingly impossible to crack, and I just so happen to be very good at cracking those puzzles. I usually do that by analyzing their behavior. I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit.” She could tell he was being humble, but she couldn’t help but be impressed.

“Aren’t you a Doctor? I’m assuming PhD?” She saw him blush.

“Uh, three actually.” He looked off to the side bashfully. Her jaw dropped at his humility, but he just smiled, “In Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering…” he paused, “as well as degrees in Psychology and Sociology.” She laughed in somewhat of a shock. Spencer knew his credentials were impressive but for some reason her validation seemed so important to him.

“What….how? How old are you?” She gawked. 

He laughed, “I’m 30. I graduated high school at the age of 12. I have an IQ of 187 and can read 20,000 words per minute. I have an eidetic memory which basically means I can remember lots of information accompanied by the ability to recall things with accuracy which of course came in handy while I was getting those PhD’s…”

“Wow...” was all she could say, she suddenly felt insignificant, but her smile never faltered. He had no intention of making her feel that way and she knew that, but she had no idea how she possibly landed a date with a...genius.

“Yeah...it kind of overwhelms people, I hope you’re not too intimidated.” He laughed shyly. She giggled, how could she be when his awkwardness made him oh so endearing.

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little intimidating, but they are amazing accomplishments and you have every right to be proud of them.” She assured him by squeezing his hand, just like he did hers when she was nervous. He appreciated the gesture and they grinned at each other.

“So when did you start painting?” He asked her as he took a sip of wine.

“All my life, it seems. I couldn’t think of anything else that I wanted to do. There’s something about the way the paintbrush feels in my hand. I don’t know, I guess I wanted to add more color into people’s worlds…and I love kids! I just knew I had to teach them.” She gushed and he admired the way her eyes sparkled.

“You know there are countless studies that support the idea of painting as a stress reliever. Actually, there was this one study where…” he continued to ramble and Y/N seemed to hang onto every word. He was so adorable in the way that he described things and bounced from one topic to another. She didn’t interrupt him once, not even when the food was set down on their table. He only stopped when he felt the warmth of her hand disappear from his so she could start eating. She peered at him curiously, wondering why he stopped.

“Sorry,” he grinned, “didn’t realize I’d been rambling.” 

She shook her head, smiling wide, “If I knew half the things you know, I would want to share them with everyone too. I love it.”

He hadn’t expected her response but he was grateful because she hadn’t belittled him like most people do. They ate as they shared stories from their lives. Spencer noticed how the wine added a flush to her cheeks and he wondered how much more beautiful she could possibly get. She insisted on feeding him a piece of her meal but she couldn’t reach that far across the table and Spencer thought that was adorable. He’d had to lean forward just to have some, the interaction made his cheeks ache from smiling. Soon, they finished their food and Spencer took care of the bill, Y/N insisted she’d take care of dessert. 

They got up and headed out of the restaurant. They were greeted by the soft chill of the nighttime. Spencer had noticed immediately how Y/N’s arms instinctively shot up to hug herself and shield her body away from the cold. He took his blazer off and placed it on her shoulders. She blushed at the warm gesture and gladly slid her arms through. 

She smiled up at him gratefully, “Thanks, Spencer. Are you sure you won’t get cold?” The way she slipped her arm through his and hugged his arm almost made him forget to reply. 

“I’m good, this um, sweater vest is warmer than it looks.”

He usually shied away from touch, but if there was one thing Spencer was sure of, it was that he never wanted her to let go of him. They walked in the moonlight. Conversation with her came easily. They found themselves in front of the coffee shop where they first learned of each other. It seemed it only fit to celebrate their first date there. They walked in and the woman behind the counter beamed as she saw the two of them walking in together. It was like she knew. She greeted Y/N and the Dr. gleefully and happily took their order. Spencer physically had to bite his lip to keep from smiling too much. They sat down where Spencer usually sat with his books.

“The first time I saw you sitting here, you were literally zooming through a book. I thought you’d had to have been looking for a specific quote or something, not actually reading it!” She giggled as she took a piece of the carrot cake they’d ordered. She didn’t want to let go of his warmth, so they decided to sit next to each other. Spencer didn’t mind that one bit, he’d taken his hand out of his pocket and laced his fingers through hers, their arms still looped in one another’s.

He nodded at her words, taking another piece, “The first time I saw you, you were just walking in, with your earbuds in. I was quite literally blown away.” He sheepishly admitted. She was taken aback by his sweetness and she shook her head. This man had to be too good to be true. She looked up at him and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“I never thought I’d say this but...I’m so glad I was kidnapped.” She said and that sent the both of them into a roar of laughter that made the entire coffee shop jealous of what they had.

Part 1

[finleyfray]

Bittersweet Memories

Part 2

Part 3

Huge thanks to @captain-josslett for helping me with English and making this have more sense

TW: smut(ish) just a little, some angst, laguage, think that’s all!

Finley struggles to open the door to their apartment. She was tired and her head was hurting so much. She just wants to snuggle with her girlfriends and fall asleep.

“Hey.” Fin looks over and sees Alex walking towards her and embraces her in a hug. “You look like crap.” Fin rests her head on Alex's chest and chuckles.

“Thanks darling, I’m happy to see you too. Is Maggie home yet?” She yawns and Alex leads her to the couch. “I have a killing headache.” Fin sits on Alex and rests her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“She’s picking up some food. Did you take your migraine medicine today?” The redhead asks Fin with a stern look on her face.

“Shoot, I forgot.” The black haired woman whines.

“Here we go again.” Alex sighs. “Did you drink water today? Eat anything?”

“Oh come on, don’t harass me like that. Of course I did drink and eat... we had breakfast, didn’t we?”

“That was yesterday, Finley, this morning you woke up too late and ran off to work. Making a huge mess. Leaving your clothes on the floor. And your wet towel in the bathroom on my clothes. I swear to God, how much water did you drink?” Alex scoffs.

“Well...I didn’t see your clothes, I’m sorry. I didn’t drink water... but I’ve had coffee! And a can of Monster! Or two…” Suddenly her girlfriend stands up, resulting in Fin falling off of her. “Ouch! That hurt.”

“That’s not... I swear I’m going crazy with you!” They hear the door open and Maggie coming into the living room looking at them.

“What are you yelling about?” She frowns and looks at Alex, who looks angrily at Fin. “Maggie, I’m glad you’re here.” The redhead says with a smile. “See, our girlfriend here was wondering why her head hurts so much! Fin, care to tell Maggie how you took your medicine this morning, drank plenty of water and ate three meals?” Her voice is full of sarcasm and Finley curses mentally.

“Oh come on. I’m going to eat now, and drink water and take meds, I swear I just forgot!” She tries to defend herself, but Maggie already looks at her with her stern mother look. “Don’t be mad at me.” Fin puts on her puppy face. “Pwaaseee.” She pouts.

“No, no, don’t give me this face, you know the deal. How can you forget to take care of yourself almost every day?!” Maggie growls flustered. “These are literally the basic things in life. You have to eat, and you have to drink water to survive, and you know after that mission where you hurt your head pretty bad, that you have to take your migraine medicine, otherwise you’ll be in pain. And you should remember it, how you keep forgetting to take care of yourself is beyond me.”

“I don’t know...” Finley looks down, because she did know. She wasn’t taught how to take care of herself. In the orphanage they didn’t care if the kids ate something, they didn’t care if they had something to drink, or walked around in dirty, damaged clothes.

So Fin learnt how to go days without eating, only drinking some sink water. It was normal for Fin. So she grew up, was then thrown out on her 18th birthday, and went to college. She didn’t think of that either. Having not enough money to eat every day, or buy new clothes, having to survive on minimum wage that she was earning with her job. It was hard to manage to study and work 16 hours a day, but she had to stay positive. So when Finley started working in the DEO and earning so much money, she decided she had to save it. Save it in case something goes wrong and she loses her job. But, this drove her girlfriends insane. How she couldn’t do the basic thing, like putting her dirty clothes away. How every time she tried to make laundry, it went wrong on some level. She’d mix dark clothes with white. Sometimes she forgot to add laundry detergent. Or she forgot she put the washing machine on but forgot to dry it. So the clothes stayed there until Alex or Maggie saw it. Finley really tries, she does, but it just escapes her mind every time.

“I’m sorry.” Fin sighs, she wasn’t going to tell them, she doesn't want their pity “I guess I’m just getting distracted.” Maggie scoffs, but goes to hug their girlfriend anyway. Soon Alex joins and they stay together for a bit.

“I did buy dinner, so let’s get you some food, and water, then you’ll take your medicine and we can go to bed.” Maggie kisses her softly and Finley smiles into the kiss.

***

Later as they were in bed, after eating and showering, Finley lay on top of Alex while Maggie was still in the shower.

“Are you still mad at me?” Fin asks, looking in her girlfriend’s brown eyes.

“I’m not mad Finnie.” Alex sighs cupping Fin's cheek. “I was frustrated, of course, I will still be when you do this. But I’m not mad.” She kisses Finley softly, her other hand going to Finley’s back holding her close. The blue-eyed woman sighs happily and wiggles on top of Alex to get more comfortable.

“Fin...” Alex breathes heavily “Stop moving.”

“Why, does it bother you?” Finley smiled devilishly, pressing her leg against Alex’s core and moving her hips. The redhead kisses her girlfriend hard and bends her leg so it was now against Finley too. The shorter woman moans at the sudden pressure, and moves her hips faster.

“Oh, I see you’re better.” Maggie stands there watching her girlfriends making out and humping each other for a few minutes. “So I’m glad I decided not to put any clothes on.” Her girlfriend’s stop and looks at her. Maggie's hair was still wet from the shower, and she only had her towel on. “Can you two just be naked already?” She drops her towel on the floor. “That was quite a nice show you did for me. But, I’m afraid I need to cuff both of you for breaking the rules.”

“B… But... “Alex’s face was almost as red as her hair “We didn’t… We still have all clothes on! We didn’t had sex without you!” She looked at Finley, who already had taken all of her clothes off, she sure was ready. “You’re such a bottom!” Alex scoffs, sure the black-haired woman was so ready for Maggie to cuff her, but Alex tried hard to remain her tough face.

“Agent Danvers, I’m afraid I insist.” Maggie smirks at her redheaded girlfriend, swaying her hips as she approaches the bed.

***

Finley yawns as she opens her eyes and looks at the sleeping face of her girlfriend. The redhead was snoring lightly and she looked so peaceful and cute. Fin snuggles closer and rests her head on her girlfriend's chest.

She knew Maggie had already left for work, feeling a cold spot behind her. The blue-eyed woman was tired after all the fun they had yesterday and didn’t want to get up.

“Shouldn’t you be training rookies at work today?” Alex’s sleepy voice asks. Fin gasps as she realises that the redhead is right, she springs from her bed and looks at the clock.

“Ohhhh shit, J’onn is going to kill me!” She quickly undresses by dropping her clothes on the floor and goes for a quick shower. As fast as she can she dries herself and drops the wet towel on the floor, puts on her combat clothes and runs to work.

It was no fun being at work without Alex, but her girlfriend deserved a day off. They were supposed to have lunch together, but after some robbery that Kara helped Maggie take care of, the blonde informs Fin that her girlfriends can’t make it, so the black-haired woman takes care of all her paperwork that is due soon, and heads to the DEO gym to train a bit.

Finley was getting tired from all the punches and running, so she decided to stop and go take a shower. Suddenly she sees a blur and her girlfriend’s sister stands before her.

“Kara, hey, something wrong?” Finley asks as the blonde frowns and looks at her.

“Ohhhh shit. I forgot, I left my phone at home this morning. What’s the time?” Fin facepalms and looks at Kara.

“Well Alex asked me to look for you, cause you didn’t answer your phone. You do know what time it is?”

“Where the fuck have you been!? We tried to call you thousands of times, why didn’t you answer!?” Maggie tries to stay calm, but her voice is full of anger.

“It’s 10:30, and your girlfriends are going crazy, come on.” She lifts the black-haired woman and speeds her home.

“Thanks Kar.” Finley sighs and opens the door quietly. It doesn’t really help her as she sees Maggie and Alex in the hall waiting for her.

“I’m sorry! I was in such a rush this morning, I forgot my phone! And I went to work out after sitting down doing paperwork and the time just flew.” Finley tries to calm her girlfriends, but she clearly saw that they were beyond pissed.

They turn and go to the living room, and Fin follows them waiting for their forgiveness. Alex sits on the couch and drinks the rest of her whiskey.

“Guys, come on, I’m sorry, you know I just forgot-”

“That’s it, that’s exactly it! You always forget. Forget to eat, to drink water, to take your medicine. You forget to put your clothes away, forget to do the laundry, forget to go to sleep! Forget to take your phone, to let us know you’ll be late, to let us know you’re okay! Forget to do the groceries, forget to buy some new clothes, to put your towel away instead of dropping it on the floor!” Alex was standing now waving her hands angrily. “Well maybe you got that from your parents, seeing as they forgot you at the orphanage!”

Finley blinks as Alex suddenly goes silent. Her blue eyes are suddenly wet and she turns around and rushes out of their apartment.

 ***

Maggie looks at Alex in shock. She can’t believe her ears. Alex did not just say that.

“Danvers, what the fuck was that!?” Maggie rushes to the door to follow Finley, and stop her, they need to talk, this is not a good situation. But as soon as she’s outside, Finley is gone, there is no sign of her. She goes back to their apartment and searches for her keys.

“Why are you just standing there like that?! Do you realise what you’ve just done?! That was way too low, I can’t believe you just said that!” Maggie yells at her girlfriend, she was beyond mad. Yes, Fin drives her crazy sometimes, but that doesn’t explain Alex’s behaviour.

“I... I didn’t mean that! It just slipped!” Alex tries to explain herself, but her mind is still processing what just happened. “I didn’t want to say that, I’m sorry!”

“It’s not me you need to apologise to. It’s her, but guess what, she’s gone! And we need to find her, and you really need to try hard, because that, Alex, that was just unbelievable.”

“Where do you think she went?” Alex asked, trying to calm down her nerves. Her mind repeats the words she just said and Alex realises how awful she’d been. But she really didn’t mean to, she wasn’t thinking at the moment, her mouth just shot out the words on its own.

When Maggie and Alex started dating Finley, the younger woman never said anything about her family. Of course the first one she met, outside of them, was Alex's younger sister. With it being autumn, and thanksgiving, she soon met Eliza and Maggie aunt Vivian. And she saw how Fin was in awe seeing how both women cared for their children. When Alex and Maggie asked her about it, she told them that she had spent most of her life in an orphanage, but refused to say any more. So they agreed they’ll just wait till Finley is ready and tell them on her own. This was 2 years ago, but Finley still hadn’t talked to them about it.

And now Alex fucked up, and told her girlfriend, an orphan, that her parents forgot about her. She isn’t sure how Finley is ever going to forgive her. Hell she doesn’t even know if she can forgive herself. Maggie looks at her, and Alex realises that she failed her too. Sure, the shorter woman tries not to give away her anger, but she sees her eyes, and the Detective is really mad at her.

“I don’t know, she doesn’t really have any friends... Kara? No, that would be too oblivious, she probably doesn't want us to find her now, she wouldn’t go there... You think she would go to any of our friends?” Maggie took a deep breath trying to calm herself enough to think clearly.

“No, I don’t think so. She can’t be that far, she just left. You think she went to a motel?”

“No, she hates spending her money. Doesn’t DEO have sleeping quarters?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah... it does...” Alex begins but her phone rings, she answers it “Danvers... Yes, we'll be coming in now.” She ends the call, and looks at Maggie “There’s an emergency at the DEO, your unit has been informed, J’onn said to bring you along.”

“Shit, alright. You’re good to go?” Maggie looks at her girlfriend, remembering Alex had been drinking earlier.

“I’ll be good, you drive.”

 ***

Finley walked to the DEO, trying hard to wipe her tears away. She didn’t want others to see her crying, that would be humiliating, but she couldn’t stop it.

Her mind kept repeating Alex’s words, she was not prepared for a woman she loves to hurt her like that. Why would she, she trusted them with her whole heart. Maybe that was her fault, maybe she should have kept that in mind. By now she would know that everyone in her life ended up hurting her.

It was like every time she was happy, it all came crashing down around her. She remembers the day she entered the orphanage for the first time, she was eight. There were so many kids there, just walking around, those kids were sad, but Fin? She was hopeful, she was actually happy that her father wasn’t there to hit her, she felt safe. But that feeling went away so fast, and her life was still a hell.

“Hey.” Fin jumps at J’onn voice. “You got here fast, where are your girlfriends? We have a debrief in five, we have to deal with this emergency quickly.”

Oh, so there is an emergency. That’s why he’s here. She nods and walks to the bathroom cleaning her face. Fin won’t let them all see her tears, she’s stronger than that. She enters the room and J’onn begins. Normally she would stand with her girlfriends but Fin hangs back.

“Cadmus is containing a shipment of hundreds of alien’s. We need to stop them. The NCPD unit is already informed, but it’ll take them a bit longer to arrive, so Detective Sawyer will go with you. Agent Danvers will be leading. Dismissed.” Finley avoids looking at her girlfriends, and walks as fast as she could to the armoury to prepare for the mission.

“Fin" Alex rushes after her.

“No!” Fin growls. “Right now I don’t have time for your bullshit Agent Danvers. We have a mission and that is my focus.” She didn’t mean to snap at Alex like that, but her sorrow was becoming her anger and she can’t be distracted. Distraction means slower reaction time, and that means injury or death. She wasn’t in the mood to die today.

 ***

The mission was going to plan and Fin kept up her professionalism. But with any mission, things can go wrong. It happened so fast, one second Fin is beating down a Cadmus agent when suddenly an explosion goes off above them. Finley hears the crack of concrete and looks up as a huge block of concrete starts breaking away. Right above Alex. Fin doesn’t think. Her only focus is on saving her girlfriend. Whatever it takes. So she sprints towards the redhead and pushes Alex as hard as she can out of the way. Fin falls to the ground as a huge bang fills the room. Fin tries to gasp when pain surges through her body.

“Fin!” Alex yells as she looks at her pinned girlfriend. She rushes over and is at Fin’s side in a second. “Why did you do that?!” Alex panics and tries to move the concrete to free her girlfriend, but it is too heavy. She looks at Finley, noticing that the concrete didn’t crush her whole. She allows herself to calm slightly. If her sister comes fast enough, it should be okay, Fin has a chance to survive. “Supergirl, come in, I need your help!” But she’s met with silence. “Supergirl! Maggie!?” Alex yells desperately.

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Maggie responds worriedly.

“I can’t reach Supergirl, we’ve had an accident, Finley is trapped!” She hears Maggie gasp.

“I’m coming!” Maggie yells and Alex focuses on Finley, trying to comfort her. Soon Maggie is by their side. Alex looks up at her scared girlfriend and sees her tears as Maggie tries to suppress a sob.

“Fin. Finley talk to me.” Maggie kneels beside their fallen girlfriend.

“Hurts.” Fin chokes out.

“Alex, we need to move it! It’s crushing her!” They try to push it as hard as they can. “It’s not moving! Supergirl, come in! Please…” Maggie begs but she too is met with silence. “Damn it!” she pushes the block again.

Alex sobs and goes to sit behind her girlfriend, placing Fin’s head in her lap and stroking her short hair gently. She listens to Maggie as she yells trying to reach Kara.

“Why would you do that? Risk your life for me?” Alex looks at Finley’s blue eyes, and gently strokes her cheek.

“I... I’ll always save you...” Finley smiles sadly. She can’t feel her leg anymore and she feels dizzy. She doesn’t regret saving Alex, she would do anything to keep her girlfriends safe. But it’s getting harder to stay awake, and Fin doesn’t have the energy to try anymore. She is tired, so tired, she really hopes they would be okay, even without her. “I love you both… So much…” Finley whispers and her eyes flutter close.

“No. No, don’t close your eyes. Come on, Finley, please. KARA, COME ON!”

[beeexx]

A meet the family moment that goes both very good and of course bad. Part 1/2

You can read it on my ao3 here too as well and read some of my thoughts at the bottom of that page.  Part 2 will be out shortly, but until then, here is part 1, happy fluffy and funny, next part is less so. 

Enjoy -------- TK is planning to spend most of his day doing nothing other than lay on Carlos’ couch, or at least until he comes back from his shift and they can do something together. This morning, like the responsible and horny person that he is, he even made sure to put the alarm on for 30 minutes earlier than they normally would so they could engage in a hot makeout session before Carlos had to leave for work. Those 30 minutes were definitely taken advantage of so to say, so much so that Carlos barely had the time to eat breakfast before he had to leave, 

and not before he almost puts his head through the wall by trying to put on his pants while he was brushing his teeth at the same time.

The memory makes TK smile though as he lies down on the couch, freshly showered and with a coffee in hand, content and at ease, when the doorbell rings interrupting his wandering thoughts.

“Awww.” He says, frowning at the interruption but gets up wondering who’s ringing the bell at this hour of the morning.

The answer becomes obvious when he opens the door and comes face to face with three women who are all waiting impatiently, all of them with the same brown eyes as Carlos and dark skin.

Oh shit.

“Erm, h-hey.” He stutters out, awkwardly. 

“Hello, is Carlos in?” One of the women says, the second oldest one, with a stylish outfit and long curly hair, making TK glaringly stand out in comparison to her with his oversized jumper that is Carlos and an old pair of sweatpants. 

“Eh no he changed his shifts around so he could take tomorrow off.” to spend it with me TK leaves out. 

“Of course my idiot brother would forget to tell us he did that.” The youngest one mutters.

Because yes, there is no mystery to whom these 4 women are that TK has stumbled upon this Friday morning on Carlos’ doorstep. His three sisters and mother are clearly waiting for him to say something and TK honestly feels like he’s about to freeze up on them on the doorstep, or close the door in their faces and run away. It could be either of the two, he hasn’t made up his mind yet which it is. 

“You want to come inside?” He asks though because it’s somewhat important that he makes a good impression on these people, even though he’s wearing more clothes that belong to Carlos than to him and his hair is wet and clinging to his face, and he’s in no way prepared for this. He’s immensely relieved he took a shower though. Smelling like sex and Carlos’ deodorant in front of his mother, who frankly looks terrifying, would have been disastrous. He steps aside and lets them in as they all mutter in agreement. 

TK feels his stomach drop as he takes in the state of the apartment which is in less than ideal condition. Yesterday’s dishes are still in the sink, and TK wants to die because that is definitely a pair of Carlos’ underwear lying on the floor just outside his bedroom.

Ugh.

“So, you must be the New Yorker?” The middle sister says. She’s wearing workout clothes, looking very different to the oldest sister but still manages to look immaculately put together and very pretty. The gene game is strong within the Reyes family and it’s a little unfair TK thinks. 

“Eh yes TK. Nice to meet you.” He extends his hand in politeness and they all shake it. Elena is the oldest sister, then it’s Andrea, Carlos and the youngest one whose name he at least knows is Beatrice. They all look at him with mischief in their eyes, reminding him so much of Carlos it’s a little disconcerting and it makes TK want to die a little bit. When it’s time to shake Gabriela’s hand she looks him over and TK feels like she sees right through him, straight to the core, like there is nothing he can hide from her. He gulps nervously.

“You are a skinny young man.” She points out and TK stutters.

Beatrice rolls her eyes and he runs a hand through his wet hair nervously, not liking how studied he feels by her.

“Yeah, I was in an accident recently, so I’m getting back into it.” After the coma and his time off work he has gotten a little skinny yes but he’s trying really hard to put the weight back on that he lost even though it’s proving to be a little bit more difficult than what he originally thought it would be. But he’s definitely getting there, or that’s what his doctor is saying at least. It doesn’t help though that he has a ridiculously fit boyfriend either who he has trouble working out with because he keeps getting distracted by him and how hot he looks when he’s sweaty, it’s not unusual that when they are working out together, is interrupted for other things instead, which in TK’s defence, still revolves around losing calories. Gabriela’s eyebrow shoots upwards and TK wonders if Carlos’ family knows any of the details of what happened to him.

“I got shot.”

“What?” Elena asks and Beatrice lets out an “Oooooo” sound and looks at him with morbid fascination.

“An accident at work and then during the solar storm I engaged in some activities not appropriate for someone recovering from a gunshot wound.”

He realises too late how that sounds and if Andrea and Elena’s laughter and Carlos’ mother frown is anything to go by he’s completely messed that up. He blushes.

“No, no, I mean I saved a woman from drowning from inside a bus and had to lift up some rubble to get to her. Not something the hospital was too happy about.” TK winces again because now it sounds like he’s bragging instead. Ugh.

“Oh damn.” Beatrice says.

“You’re a fireman, did I get that right?” Elena asks and TK nods.

“Yeah, on leave now though but yes.”

“Are you doing any exercises for your injury?” Andrea asks and it takes TK’s brain a moment to catch up before he remembers that Andrea is a physiotherapist.

“Yeah some I got from the hospital.”

“Well the clinic I work at is pretty good if I may say so myself, so you want me to hook you up, I got you. I’ll make sure you see someone that’s not me.”

“Oh, thanks.” He says as she smirks confidentiality at his obvious nerves. 

“Is there any food in here?” Beatrice interrupts and walks into the kitchen, her mother following close behind inspecting each of the surfaces in what TK thinks is 20/20 vision. Bea opens the fridge and wrinkles her nose in distatate as TK rubs at his neck awkwardly. Elena joins them and they all seem to dissect Carlos’ kitchen inch by inch, judging him by the lack of food and messiness which cannot be blamed on anyone other than TK. He feels a strange need to defend Carlos and tell them it’s his fault which makes no sense at all as that would make his family possibly dislike him more than they already might. 

“Salted caramel popcorn? Since when does Carlos eat these?” Elena asks and holds the bag up. Beatrice grabs it aggressively out of her hand and pops one in her mouth.

“Those are mine.” TK says, his embarrassment growing with each second.

“They’re not as bad as you’d think.” Beatrice says and pops another one into her mouth.

“Ah, that explains it.” Elena says and gives TK a cheeky smile before she reproachfully rips the bag back from Beatrice and puts it back into the cupboard. 

“TK, are you hungry? From the state of this kitchen my son seems to be feeding you badly.” Gabriela says, her eyes sparkling and TK stutters again, so completely overwhelmed by all these women he doesn’t know how to handle being under the sudden attention. If there’s one thing TK lacks in his life it’s interactions with strong women, as the only reference he really has is his mother and she had left and not stuck around for too long so he’s not sure it counts. Not that he tends to be insecure around people in general, but this is Carlos’ family and they are going so steady at the moment that he needs to be liked. 

“He’s a much better cook than I am so he feeds me pretty well ma’am.” Beatrice laughs out loud and Elena and Andrea seem to struggle with holding back laughter too. Gabriela chuckles, but it’s not in a mean way at least. 

“Something my son took with him when he moved out.” She gives Elena and Andrea pointed looks.

“Hey, I cook just fine.”

“I’m a firm believer that all the men I date should cook for me. I’m not conforming to any gender roles mami.” Andrea finishes, much louder than Elena. Beatrice, now laying on the couch rolls her eyes harder than ever before. TK hasn’t met the Reyes family before, but he’s heard enough about them to be able to puzzle some pieces together. Elena is the high achieving one with good grades and borders on being a perfectionist, Elena is the gentle and kind one and Beatrice is the youngest one, sarcastic and moody a lot of the times but strangely enough the one Carlos seems to be getting along the best with. He adores her and according to him Bea’s sarcastic side is kept to a minimum around him which annoys the hell out of the older sisters as they have never quite been able to connect quite the same with her. If TK is going to be honest, it doesn’t surprise him that someone like Carlos has managed to melt Bea’s hard exterior, he’s impossible not to like, he has a way with people which makes him both a good cop, an excellent boyfriend and all around amazing person to have in your life.

“Just talk and talk and talk from you two. TK, I will cook for you and then when my forgetful son comes home I will make sure he has enough leftovers to feed you for a while.”

“Oh, thank you ma’am, that’s very kind of you.”

This time Gabriela rolls her eyes.

“Please, Mrs. Reyes or Gabriela works just fine.”

“You’re a polite one, aaww.” Andrea cooes and TK blushes. He really isn’t used to being surrounded by so many women all at once it’s completely throwing him off his game. 

“More stylish too than the last one, please get my brother into something that’s a bit better than those clothes he insists on wearing.” Elena adds, but it’s a joke TK can tell. At the same time it doesn’t surprise him that it comes from her either, she seems, out of all the siblings to be the most put together, her clothes extremely fashionable and complimentary of her figure. Andrea is in what seems to be her working clothes, and TK knows she and Carlos tend to work out together and Beatrice is in high waisted mom jeans and a cute crop top, definitely giving off student vibes in that outfit. It’s interesting in a way that all siblings in outer appearance seem to be very different from each other, something that is new to TK, who grew up alone. 

But he just smiles and doesn’t comment on the fact that he prefers Carlos without his clothes on anyway and it doesn’t matter what he wears because he would look good literally wearing a plastic bag.

“I’m just going to get changed.” He announces and before he can wait for their replies he hurries into Carlos’ room, making sure to grab the boxers off the floor and not to slam the door shut too loudly, because that would be too embarrassing. He leans against the door and revels in the silence and privacy of the room. He really isn’t ready for this. Meeting Carlos' family seemed to be something he’d do along the lines of dating for 3 months rather than a little over 3 weeks into their relationship. He is not prepared for this. In desperation he texts Carlos. 

-SOS 

The reply comes almost immediately.

-What’s happened?????

-Your mother and sisters are here. Help!!!!

-Oh shit, TK I’m sorry I forgot to tell them I moved my shifts around and we were supposed to meet up and cook together.

-Yeah no shit, I am dying here.

-I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s not that bad.

-Your mother scares me…..

Carlos sends laughing emojis his way before he types out another message.

-That’s latina women for you. Also I am the only son of a big family, ‘her baby needs to date someone worthy of him’ end quote.

-That’s not helping at all!!

-Well, just be yourself, it will charm them in no time, I’ll be home for lunch. Just entertain them with firemen stories and I’m sure you’ll be fine.

-’Just be yourself’ is the worst advice in the history of advice.

-Worked wonders on me, see you soon.

And that’s the key the conversation is over and it has not calmed TK down as much as he had hoped. It will likely be two more hours before Carlos is home and TK really has no choice other than to put his game face back on and go meet his fate with his head held high. 

He starts by getting dressed, in yesterday’s clothes unfortunately, but thanks the heavens he wore jeans at least and not sweatpants when he got here. He borrows some of Carlos’ deodorant and fixes his hair with some stuff he’s left on another weekend long stay. He looks better than he did earlier and that’s literally all he can do. He walks back out and braces himself for what’s to come. 

“Not that you didn’t look nice before but I can totally see why Carlos is into you.” Elena says teasingly and TK blushes. Even Beatrice looks at him with something that looks a little bit more like respect than before.

“Was it that bad before?” 

“No, no, no.” Elena and Andra reassures him and Gabriela looks reproachfully at her daughters who at least look a little sheepish from their mother’s intimidating eyes.

“Don’t mind them TK honey, would you come help me in the kitchen?” 

“Yeah sure of course, what can I do?” 

“You can shop the onions, smallish bits please.” She hands him a cutting board and a knife and he gets to work, this at least being something he can do without failing too hard.

“You three, get to work!”

TK hides his smile, Gabriela sounding eerily similar to when Carlos puts on his demanding police officer voice. Maybe he picked it up from his mother? Not that Carlos has anything on this woman though, she walks into a room, small as she is and demands respect and attention. TK envies that a little bit. 

“So do you have any siblings TK?” Gabriela asks as the kitchen fills with the sound of chopping, laughter, frying and honestly an all together wholesome feeling that only cooking can do, bringing people together, something TK is not too familiar with. As great as his dad is, cooking together at home was not an activity they used to do. 

“No, I’m an only child.”

“Ah.” She says and raises an eyebrow. “Parents still together?”

“No, they’ve been divorced for a long time now.”

“And what do they do?”

It’s feeling more and more like an interrogation to TK, except that Gabriela has soft features and seems to be driven by curiosity rather than to undo him and pull all his secrets out of him to use against him. It doesn’t mean that TK in this moment does have the urge to lie or escape from this room and he has to remind himself that not everyone in this world is out to hurt him, no matter how much it feels like it sometimes. Carlos has been nothing but kind and supportive even before they got official, there’s nothing saying that his mother is not exactly the same, kind and caring and sweet.

“My mother is a lawyer and lives in California at the moment so I see her every now and then and my dad is a firefighter too. Owen Strand the Captain over at the 126.”

“Oh, yeah I heard he ripped the whole place up.” Beatrice adds.

“It’s really nice though. I went to see Michelle a few months back and he’s really pulled it together.” Andrea adds, sounding deeply impressed and TK nods. 

“Yeah, natural light and nice showers do wonders for morale.”

“Is that your dad’s words?” Elena asks and TK nods.

“Yeah.”

“And you TK, have you always wanted to be a firefighter then?”

For some reason TK doesn’t think bringing up the doubts he’s had about the life he’s chosen is the best thing to do at this moment, so he settles for the reply he always goes with, which these days is pretty much the truth anyway.

“Yeah, always.” Gabriela smiles at that, kindly, and TK finds that even if she scares the living daylight out of him, she seems to be a pretty wonderful woman too. 

The Reyes seem to lay off him a little bit, focusing instead on talking to each other. TK finds that the sounds filling up the kitchen settles something inside of him. His life has never been like this, where people stop to spend time with one another, and enjoy the company of each other when they are at home. Not that he thinks his parents did a bad job, but being an only child in a busy family often made him feel lonely, and he didn’t grow up with a lot of home cooked meals that were made with love, so this, this is nice. 

When Carlos finally comes home for lunch TK isn’t dying as much as he was before, and he’s thankful for that.

“Ah, there is my forgetful son.” His mother chides him immediately when he steps inside.

“Sorry mami.” He says and kisses both of her cheeks, before he ruffles Beatrice’s hair who glares murderously at him and hugs his two older sisters. Lastly he walks up to TK and for a moment he seems to hesitate about what to do and it makes TK roll his eyes because while they tend to be pretty light on public affection outside of the house, his family is already aware that they are dating. TK raises up on his toes and places a kiss on Carlos’ cheek, Carlos’s hands coming to gently grab at his waist and making sure to give his sisters the finger while they ooo and aaaaww in the background. Carlos steps away and steals a piece of chicken that is cooking and his mother swats his hand away with a spatula chiding him in spanish.

“Is everything done or?”

“If you’re asking if you managed to miss all the chopping and cooking then yeah you did you sneaky bastard.” Elena says, sitting on the kitchen island by the cooling dulce de leche that she keeps stealing off when her mother isn’t looking in her direction. TK had a taste of it too earlier and it’s absolutely delicious so he doesn’t blame her. 

“Nope, that was not what I was asking.” Carlos says and pushes her off the now clean counter, she glares at him but doesn’t even try to push back at him, their size difference not to her advtange which Carlos knows. He sticks his tongue out cheekily and she mutters under her breath that she’ll get him back. TK hides is laugh, can’t help but be affected by the sibling rivalry they’re displaying. He likes seeing Carlos like this, teasing and funny and a little mean with his sisters, it’s so very unlike him on most days and it’s nice to see another side to him. 

“TK, will you help me set the table?” Gabriela asks.

“Yeah absolutely.”

“Carlos we need a bigger table, do you have the extensions still?” 

“Yep, come on.”

“As if you couldn’t carry them yourself?” Andrea rolls her eyes but starts walking to the back of the condo, Carlos following behind but not before he kisses his mother’s cheeks affectionately again. She says something to him in spanish that TK only catches the end of but he’s pretty sure it’s about him and judging by the look Carlos sends him it’s not bad.

When Carlos and Andrea come back TK and Gabriela have finished setting the table and even Bea has gotten off her phone to come peek interestingly at everything that is laid out before them. TK hasn’t seen this much delicious food in a long time and he already loves Carlos’ cooking, if he learnt from this woman it’s going to absolutely blow his mind. They sit down, Carlos beside him, with their mother at the end of the table and the rest of the sisters on the other side and TK lets the sound wash over him, enjoying how comfortable the family is around each other. He manages to escape the attention, but only for a while.

“Soooo, how did you meet then? Carlos has been vague about the details.” Elena of course asks after a while. TK shoots Carlos a look and he indicates for TK to talk.

“On the job actually, on my first call, a car accident.” Elena leans forward, clearly very interested and in the corner of his eye he can see Carlos shoot her a reproachful look.

“How romantic.” She comments and Carlos throws his napkin at her, Gabriela only needing to glare at them both for them to stop.

“Did he ask you out by the car accident?” Andrea wonders and it makes both TK and Carlos chuckle.

“Please, I have some manners and style, you should know this by now.”

“Do you though?”

“I do actually.”

“Okay, continue the story, shush Andrea.”

“Erm, well there isn't much of a story.” TK really doesn’t feel like getting into the whole drama caused by him because everything has been going so well, so if he was about to tell them how he had run out of a dinner with Carlos, gotten into a bar fight and then kind of been a dick for a couple of weeks by avoiding Carlos and then getting into the whole accident he would lose whatever standing he had with the Reyes family immediately.

“We hit some bumps in the beginning but it worked out in the end.” Carlos covers for him cryptically and if he hasn’t told his family about the mess TK essentially is, he must care a hell of a lot about him. TK feels his face heat and his heart beat faster and having a little bit of a breakdown or just the urge to drag Carlos away from his family and into the bedroom to kiss him stupid, then no one has to know. He swallows down a bit of tomato and tries not to think about it too closely, even though Carlos’ thigh keeps brushing up against his when he moves. He is going to ignore it and get through it.

“I’m glad to hear you’ve worked it out.” Gabriela adds smoothly and Carlos gives his mother a grateful look and then the conversation moves along to other things and TK ends up having a lovely but very intense day, one he will remember fondly for a long time.

………..

When the door closes TK sags in relief against the counter, allowing Carlos’ side to take half of the weight.

“That was intense.” He mutters, making Carlos chuckle as he puts his arms around him.

“That’s the Reyes for you.”

“I feel like I could sleep for a week.” TK tucks himself closer against Carlos’ side, nosing at his neck looking for affection. Carlos rolls his eyes fondly, but takes pity on his cute but bratty boyfriend and unexpectedly sweeps TK off his feet. TK lets out an indignant little shriek that he will definitely deny he ever made later on as Carlos puts him over his shoulder before he makes his way over to the bedroom. He puts TK down gently on the bed before he lies down too, mostly on top of TK and sighs in content. TK chuckles before he runs a hand through Carlos’ hair, sending a shiver down his spine. He noses at TK’s neck, and rests his head there, feeling his pulse point flutter underneath his lips. 

They lie in silence for a while, enjoying it after the hectic morning and day. 

“You want me to move?” Carlos asks. TK just shakes his head. Carlos knows TK likes to be pinned to the bed, sometimes definitely, sexually yes, but oftentimes it’s more about the sense of grounding it makes him feel when Carlos will cover him completely. Carlos could understand that and was often happy to comply with the request, even though in the beginning he was definitely worried about crushing TK. 

“Your family is something else.” TK says snapping Carlos out of his wandering thoughts. He chuckles in agreement. 

“They are.”

“I like it though, the noise, the laughter and banter, it was always so quiet being an only child, as well as it was lonely.”

Carlos hums and kisses TK softly on the neck.

“Yeah, our house was anything but for most of the time I grew up. The only time it was ever quiet was when something really bad happened.”

“Like?”

“When my abuela died it was horrible for a while.”

“Yeah that must have been rough.”

“It was… another time it was quiet was when Elena got arrested.”

“She got arrested? For what?”

“She smacked some old white lady up in a bar for being a racist.”

“Impressive.”

“Yeah, well it also got quiet when I came out.”

TK winces, Carlos feels it go through his whole body.

“Did they take it badly?”

“Not badly, but I’m the only boy in a family of three sisters, so it wasn’t great at first. But all my sisters rallied behind me and my parents both came around eventually. They just needed some time to sit with it all. But it’s fine now.”

TK strokes a hand down his back in silent support that Carlos appreciates. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry you had to go through it, even if it turned out alright.” TK whispers, and Carlos smiles sadly against his neck. He knows that in a perfect world he wouldn’t have had to worry about coming out to his parents, or to his co workers or to his friends. But this isn’t a perfect world so...

“Thanks.” He whispers back. TK hums and continues stroking his fingers through Carlos’ hair and down his back, the motion making Carlos melt against him. 

“Who knew cooking could be this nice.” TK says after a while and Carlos chuckles but can’t be bothered to lift his head, he’s way too comfortable.

“Should we make it a thing then? Instead of me cooking for you all the time we should start cooking together instead?” 

“Well, maybe not all the time, I would distract you way too much in the kitchen for you to get anything done.” He teases and Carlos agrees, kisses his throat gently a fews times before he lies down again. 

“True.”

“But maybe I will help from time to time.”

“I’d like that.” Carlos whispers.

“It was never like this for me growing up, loud and happy and people joining together to ask about the other person’s day. Or cooking for that matter. It’s nice, I’m happy you had it.”

Carlos knows some of TK’s past, not all of it but some of it, and he rarely pushes, just often lets TK come to his own conclusions about stuff. Well sometimes he pushes just a little but when it comes to talking about TK’s life before Texas he knows it’s a bad idea to approach it that way. And he knows TK has been making an effort too about being a little bit more forthcoming and he appreciates it endlessly. So it’s nice to hear him talk like this and Carlos waits it out, let’s TK get it off his chest.

“Thanks, it was nice, you can come to every family dinner from now and then maybe you’ll tire of it.”

“I don’t think I could tire of it, tire of you.” He whispers and Carlos lifts his head up, smiles goofily and brighly and TK rolls his eyes but makes a little indication he tends to do when he wants a kiss. It’s Carlos’ turn to roll his eyes but he leans forward and gently places one on top of TK’s nose, making him scrunch it up looking ridiculously cute. He chuckles but kisses him on the mouth next and TK hums happily into it.

………

Carlos must have fallen asleep, because when he blinks his eyes open he’s surprised to find it’s almost evening. His body is sleep warm and languid with TK still wrapped up around him. He yawns and lifts his head, coming face to face with TK who has a pillow crease on his cheek but green eyes alert and awake. 

“I wasn’t the only one who was tired then?” He teases and Carlos can’t be bothered to snark back and instead lays his head back down on TK’s shoulder before pressing his lips to his neck. TK sighs in contentment and Carlos repeats it, but a little more meaningfully, letting his lips linger before biting gently. TK squirms underneath him and Carlos chuckles against his skin before he moves further up. TK exhales shakily before he shifts, putting Carlos’ lower body a little closer to his crotch. Carlos helps out and puts himself in between TK’ legs, who eagerly grinds upwards, already half hard, making Carlos bite down on TK’s neck to prevent his own very loud moan from escaping from the friction. They had a go this morning before Carlos had to rush to work for his shift, it was fun but rushed and even so Carlos is pleasantly surprised that his body keeps having such a powerful and potent reaction to TK’s grinding against his dick. But with his appetite seemingly not diminishing anytime soon he isn’t exactly going to complain either, because they have been having a lot of sex recently, amazingly good sex, so if he is going to be able to get off 3-4 times a day then he definitely isn’t going to complain.

TK’s hand pulls at his hair as Carlos makes his way up towards his face, lips never living skin and watches goosebumps erupt all over TK’s body. TK, breathing unevenly by now, pulls at Carlos’ shirt impatiently and Carlos chuckles before he lets up and unceremoniously throws it off. TK sits up a little, gently places his hands around Carlos’ waist and places a trail of feather light kisses just above the waistline of Carlos’ jeans. Carlos bites at his lip, can think of a lot of other places he’d like for that mouth to be on before he pulls TK’s t-shirt off him and throws it in the direction of what he thinks is his own shirt and then gently pushes him down again. TK goes willingly, Carlos is well aware that if he wouldn’t have wanted that he would have let Carlos know, and so he puts his full weight down on top of him and kisses him hungrily.

Carlos and TK have during the weeks they have been together had a lot of talks about boundaries and consent, what is okay and what is not okay. It was different when they weren’t exactly official, but ever since then Carlos has had that nagging feeling in his head that it’s important he understands and gets to know exactly what TK likes and doesn’t. TK had scoffed at first and said everything was fine which Carlos had not believed for a second and he had spent a lot of time trying to show to an ever hesitant TK that he wasn’t going to walk out and leave TK just because he expressed a line of thought that didn’t always align with what Carlos thought or felt, and that included everything from bed related things to basically living together, which they basically already were, as the last time TK spent a night away from Carlos’ bed was over a week ago. Yes he was keeping count. There was a toothbrush that was TK’s in his bathroom, he had a packet of those sweet popcorn in his cupboard that he thought were disgusting and TK loved and a package of oat milk in his fridge for TK’s coffees, there was a pair of running trainers in his hallway and hair stuff on his counter that belonged to TK, so by all accounts, TK was living here more than he was living with his dad. They had somehow managed to take things both very slow and very fast at the same time but TK seemed happier than he had in a long time, Carlos had been told that in secret by Owen at the station one evening and Carlos had felt his heart flutter in utter joy to hear it.

TK grabs the back of his head, angles it so that the kiss deepens even more and Carlos thinks he would be a happy man just doing this forever. He moans when TK’s tongue traces his and TK snickers delightfully. He moves his mouth down to TK’s throat, leaves sloppy open mouthed kisses on exposed skin, feels TK grab the sheet and squirming underneath him and he doesn’t let up until he reaches his ear, sucks on his earlobe before he leans in close.

“Baby.” he whispers and TK groans. “What do you want?” When TK doesn’t answer he starts sucking on his earlobe again like a tease. “Baby, use your words.” He teases.

“Yeah, y-yeah. It’s very hard doing that when you’re doing what you’re doing.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He teases and starts to suck a hickey on his neck instead, just below where his shirt will hide it and TK moans, grabs at his hair again and pushes one of his legs up and around Carlos’ waist.

“Words baby.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, please fuck me.” TK finally says, sounding strained and breathing hard already. Carlos feels a thrill of excitement go through him and he kisses the small bruise on TK’s neck before he gently kisses TK on the mouth, smiling brightly at him.

“I thought you’d never ask.” TK rolls his eyes without heat and Carlos moves a little so he can reach the lube he keeps in one of the drawers. 

………

It’s hours later and they are both lounging around on the bed, still not having left the bedroom after the sex they had ages ago. TK’s in a pair of borrowed boxers, draped halfway across the bed on his front, giving Carlos a nice view of his ass, as he distractedly tries to read while TK looks to be playing candy crush. Carlos just rolls his eyes fondly and goes back to his page when TK’s stomach rumbles loudly in the comfortable silence. Carlos lifts an eyebrow looking at TK over the page while TK has a sheepish smile on his face. 

“Earlier activities make you hungry?”

“If I had an app that counted calories I’m sure it would say we burnt a lot from what we did.”

Carlos chuckles.

“True.” He agrees. “Well there are a lot of leftovers from earlier still in the fridge if that suits you?” He’s already getting up, not bothering to put on any other clothes than the boxers he’s wearing. He feels TK’s eyes trail his behind as he leaves the room for the kitchen his mother had thankfully forced them all to clean up afterwards. It’s feeling like a blessing at the moment. He heats some of the leftovers on two plates but before he makes it back TK comes and joins him, plastering himself against his back, placing a kiss on Carlos’ shoulder blade.

“Hi.” He laughs and TK hums.

“Did you get bored?”

“I was missing you too much.” TK admits and Carlos feels a thrill of joy rush through him, unable to help it. He turns around and puts his arms around TK and pulls him close, rests his head against his forehead and stays there for a moment, the world feeling completely still just then, narrowed down just to him and TK.

“I missed you too.” He whispers even though it’s cheesy but the brilliant smile he is rewarded by tells him TK feels it’s anything but. 

Carlos thinks about telling him right then and there. He’s so close to opening his mouth and blurting it out, but regrets it at the last minute and places a gentle and sweet kiss on TK’s mouth instead. 

Carlos knows he’s an idiot, knows it’s way too fucking soon to tell TK that he loves him, but he fucking does, he feels it in his whole body. But he really doesn’t think that TK is ready to hear it and while that doesn’t diminish what Carlos feels for him, it’s not the right time to tell him.

But he hopes that it’s soon, because while it might be foolish and rushed and stupid of him to feel that way about this beautful mess of human being, Carlos has always been one to fall fast and hard, it’s just who he is.

[forgadgetsandgizmos]

Boys Like You

Written for Day 1 of Malex Week 2020 | Prompt: Meet Ugly | In all honesty, this is probably closer to meet awkward than meet ugly, but. . . close enough.

Summary: Alex has coffee with Maria's one-night stand, a man who he definitely does not have a crush on.

Read on AO3

Alex shook coffee drops off the small spoon on the edge of the cup he just finished stirring and took a gingerly sip, wincing as the hot liquid rushed over his tongue. He’d barely had time to swallow before a thud followed by a hushed curse made its way from the hallway leading to Maria’s room.

A man, half-dressed and frazzled, hopped on one leg into the kitchen, his other leg being shoved into a pair of pants gripped tight in his hands. The man finally succeeded and immediately turned his gaze to the floor, apparently too focused on his search to notice Alex’s presence in the room. Judging by the man’s bare feet and empty pockets, Alex would guess he’s looking for his shoes, perhaps a wallet or keys. Neither things Alex had noticed laying around since waking up, but it was just after 5:30 in the morning. It was possible he’d missed them.

Alex took another small sip of his coffee, content with watching the man fumble about the house. As he bent over to search the floor, his still-unfastened pants dipped to reveal a slim, muscular back and black briefs. He wore a white t-shirt, frayed and stretched around the collar from wear. The shirt’s tight fit around the man’s shoulders and arms revealed modest but impressive muscles, especially when he flexed them to lift up the living room coffee table. Curly, dirty blond hair (the mere description ‘curly’ felt like an injustice) twisted in every direction off his head, a sharp contrast with the scruff darkening his strong jawline and scowl-ridden face.

Alex made a mental note to compliment Maria on her excellent taste in men.

A few seconds of fruitless searching later, Alex took pity on the man. “What are you searching for,” he asked loudly.

The man — Curls, Alex decided to call him, in absence of a better name — tensed at his voice, twirling around. His eyes landed on Alex and narrowed. “Who are you?”

Alex arched an eyebrow at his defensive tone. “Maria’s roommate.”

“What are you doing up so early?”

“This is my house,” Alex answered, waving his hand around the room as if to display the evidence. “I should be asking that of you.”

Curls tilted his head as if to begrudgingly acknowledge the truth of his statement.

“What are you looking for?” Alex repeated when it seemed like Curls wasn’t going to say anything else.

He shoved his hands into his jean pockets with a short, high-pitched chuckle. “My, uh, shoes and wallet.”

Alex allowed himself a moment of satisfaction for guessing the missing items correctly before responding. “I haven’t seen them in here” —the kitchen, he means— “and you seem to have checked the living room pretty thoroughly. Try the hall by the front door.”

Curls complied, ducking out of sight for a few seconds before returning with shoes in hand and a square-shaped bulge in his back pocket. He nodded his thanks, plopped down onto the nearest couch seat, and slid the shows on. He paused and looked to Alex before asking: “Got any coffee?”

Alex couldn’t say no to that head of hair and hopeful expression. He motioned to the coffee maker behind him which held the leftover coffee from the pot he was currently drinking. “Coffee mugs are in the cabinet above it.”

Curls rubbed his hands together eagerly and made his way towards him, briefly brushing his arm against Alex’s on his way past. He grabbed a cup from the cabinet as directed and poured the rest of the coffee from the pot into it. It was enough for just under a full cup.

“Don’t have cream, but the sugars still out,” Alex offered apologetically. He felt strangely responsible for feeding the rough looking man, despite usually avoiding Maria’s occasional one-night stands.

“This is great,” Curls assured him. He grabbed the clay sugar holder and lumped the sugar straight into his cup, not bothering with the spoon on the counter.

Alex’s eyes widened at the minimum of half-a-cup of sugar disappeared into the dark liquid. Alex liked a spoonful or two here or there, but part of what he enjoyed about coffee was the bitter flavor. It did wonders for waking him up. Curls apparently felt the opposite.

He wrapped his hands around the mug and took a big sip, unfazed by the high temperature. Alex followed suite with his own and they stood in comfortable silence for several minutes.

Suddenly, Curls sucked in a breath. “Shit, I’m running late.” He downed his drink and reached past Alex to rinse it out with soap and water before placing it in back in the cabinet where he got it.

“Oh, thanks,” Alex said, appreciative of the action. “Where do you have to be?”

“Old man Sanders’ Junkyard. I’m a mechanic. He likes early mornin’s.”

Alex nodded and leaned against the counter. He watched Curls pull a set of keys (hell yeah, he was right about that too) from the same pocket as the wallet and head towards the door.

Before he turned the corner into the hall, he spun on his heel to face Alex and grinned, tipping his head towards him in a mockery of the ‘hats off’ gesture, though without the hat. “Thanks for the coffee, Private,” he drawled, relaxed and swaggering. Without missing a beat, he finished his spin and turned the corner.

Alex didn’t move until he heard the slam of the front door shutting behind him.

(It didn’t occur to him until almost ten minutes later when he was putting on his fatigues that Curls had called him private when he hadn’t even told the man his name, much less that he was in the Air Force. It wouldn’t be until after dinner that night when he was doing the dishes that he’d wash the Air Force issue mug he’d brought home from base and realize it was the mug he’d been using when he and Curls had shared coffee.)

—

He didn’t see Curls again for a month. He’d forgotten about him, really, until the man stumbled into his kitchen on a Saturday morning the same way he did last time. He’d replaced the white shirt with a similarly worn grey one, and his jeans had darkened to match. His namesake, his golden mane matted on one side from sleep, hadn’t changed at all.

There was no pandering this time, no awkward questioning. The man merely looked up, smirked, and said, “You again!”

“Me again,” Alex agreed. “What are you doing up so early this time? It’s a Saturday.”

“The work doesn’t stop. If anything, we get busier. People got plenty of time to bring cars by when they don’t need ’em for work. What about you, Private?” Curls asked, tilting his chin up towards Alex’s outfit of sweats and coffee mug in hand.

“I like to keep a schedule, even on the weekends. Otherwise, I’ll never get up during the week.”

Curls made a noise of understanding and took a hesitant step forward. “Got any coffee this time?”

Alex smiled and nodded. “Same as last time. You remember?”

“Of course.” Curls face scrunched up, the meaning behind it clear, at least to Alex. Obviously, he was saying.

Alex reminded himself he couldn’t find it adorable, not when it was on the face of a man who seemed to be somewhat of a favorite of Maria’s. He watched him pour the same, overly large amount of sugar into his coffee as before and swirl it around.

“Spoons are in the drawer beside you, if you need one,” Alex offered.

Curls took a sip before making a face. “Yeah, I probably do,” he said, smacking his lips. He slid the drawer open and grabbed a long spoon from the back holder to stir the sugar. With the spoon still in the cup, he took another testing sip. “Much better,” he announced.

“Good.” Not sure what else to say, Alex fell silent and turned his attention to his drink.

“Sorry to steal your coffee and run, but I woke up late on purpose, so I gotta go,” Curls said, almost apologetically.

“I get it,” Alex chuckled. “Not everyone’s a morning person.”

“I’m definitely not.” Curls finished chugging what was left of his coffee and cleaned out his cup, putting it back up like last time.

“You know where your stuff is this time?” Alex asked.

Curls laughed at that, bright and loud. “I do, yes. Little less drinking involved this time around.”

Damn. That meant this, Curls and Maria, was probably going to become a thing. Alex watched him leave and felt a sort of familiar resignation settle in.

—

Alex decided he was crazy. Or hallucinating, maybe. What other reason was there to feel this kinship with a man he spoke to for a half hour twice a month, three if he’s lucky? And yet he did.

He tried not to feel guilty over Maria sleeping in her room during their talks.

—

They were three months into their morning coffee talks when Alex finally figured out Curls’ real name.

The jeep needed an oil change. He could do it himself, he knew how, but his leg made a lot of simple, physical labor overly complicated. It didn’t hurt that the best mechanic in town also happened to be a certain, curly-haired man who worked early mornings at Sanders’ Junkyard.

When he arrived, he stepped out of his jeep to find a familiar pair of boots sticking out from underneath a car parked walking distance from a visibly lived-in Airstream.

“Michael Guerin, the mechanic?” Alex asked, taking a hesitate step forward.

“That’s me,” the voice called. “Give me a second, I’ll be right with you.”

Alex clicked his tongue in response and shoved his hands in his pocket, letting his feet drag through the dirt and sand under him. He didn’t have to wait long before wheels screeched, and the man slid out from under the car.

He stood quickly, wiping grease off his hands with a dirty towel he grabbed off the hood of the car he’d been working on, asking: “What can I help you with?” as he turned to Alex. When his eyes landed on Alex he froze, eyes comically large. “You?”

“Me,” Alex said. “I need an oil change. A friend told me you were the best mechanic in town.”

“A friend, huh?” Michael asked, stepping closer.

Alex nodded. “You and Maria broke it off.”

Michael tilted his head. “Was that supposed to be a question?”

“I guess not.”

“You don’t seem like the kind of guy to need help with an oil change,” Michael stated, looking him up and down.

Alex smirked. “Was that supposed to be a question?” he returned.

“Okay, I deserved that,” Michael chuckled.

Alex’s mouth dropped a little at the sight, suddenly breathless at the sight of the sun’s kiss reflecting off Michael’s immaculate working-cowboy look with his torn jeans and stained black hands.

“You drove all the way out here for an oil change?”

Moment of truth, Alex supposed. “I drove all the way out here for you to give me an oil change.”

A beat, and then, “You know Maria and I are done. She tell you why?”

Alex shook his head slowly.

“We weren’t serious, at most friends with the occasional benefit when we were bored or lonely,” Michael explained.

Alex hunched over and took a half-step back. What was the point in telling him this? Alex had been there; he didn’t need a recap.

“We broke it off whenever one of us found someone we were interested in, no harm done,” he continued, either not noticing or not acknowledging Alex’s reaction. “I broke it off this time,” he said with an air of finality. He met Alex’s eyes expectantly.

Alex didn’t need him to continue to fill in the blanks. He broke it off because he found someone better than either of them. “Congrats?” Alex offered weakly, regretting letting Maria talk him into driving out here.

Michael huffed and rolled his eyes dramatically.

“You, goof.” Michael shook his head, an incredulous expression on his face.

Alex blinked. Him?

Oh.

Oh.

Alex didn’t even try to stop the grin spreading over his face. He took two large steps forward and kissed him exactly what he’d been wanting to do for months. Michael’s lips melted under his, soft and pliant. He deepened the kiss, letting his hands tangle in Michael’s hair, but was interrupted by a whisper of a laugh against his lips.

He pulled back just enough to rest their foreheads together and opened his eyes, meeting Michael’s shining back at him. “You’re laughing at me,” he mumbled, not moving. His fell back to Michael’s lips, stretching in a small smile.

“Shut up and kiss me, Private.”

And of course, Alex obliged.

[221bsunsettowers]

Tarlos: Found Forever on a Field Trip

I’m a few days late, but here’s my story for Day 6 of Carlos Reyes Week @carlosreyesweek, “What If/AU”!  I'm a preschool teacher, so the Fire Safety Squad is based off of a field trip I take my students on, and while I've sadly never met TK and Marjan on said field trips, much of the rest is based off real experiences of mine (including the garbage can bathroom on the school bus, a story in and of itself). And like Carlos, while my job can be absolutely exhausting, I love it so much!

Found Forever on a Field Trip

Carlos has been taking his preschool class on a field trip to Fire Safety Squad for years.

But this year, there's a new firefighter volunteering to teach the children about fire safety...

An AU featuring Preschool Teacher Carlos and Firefighter TK.

Can also be read on A03

The school bus pulled up to Fire Safety Squad, and the twenty preschool students on the bus squealed and screamed in excitement, only their old school seat length seat belts keeping them from hurling their bodies up and into the aisle.

Luckily Carlos was no newbie at this.

Having taken his class on a field trip to this same spot three years running, he had his large coffee with an extra shot of expresso balanced in one hand as he exited the bus, counting heads as he steered the children and their chaperones to the sidewalk outside the building. "Franny, you know you have to stay with your chaperone!" Carlos called out towards a young girl sprinting towards the front door, before reaching out and gently turning a young boy's hand upside down, the dirt the child had been about to throw at his classmate dropping to the ground instead.

"Mr. Russell, please remember that you are not allowed to show the children videos on your phone," Carlos reminded a father, keeping a smile on his face and his voice full of cheer as he saw the man scowl and shove his phone in his pocket seconds into a Paw Patrol episode. "We're about to go inside anyway, which is so exciting!"

Facing his class, Carlos couldn't keep the grin off his face. He was already exhausted at 9:30 AM, a child had had to pee in the bus' trash can because they couldn't hold it anymore (even though they had gone right before they had boarded), and he had heard Baby Shark a minimum of thirteen times in a row, but as he looked at all the eager faces, he was reminded all over again why he loved his job. "We're about to go inside friends, so remember to stay with your chaperone, listen to the firefighters, and have fun!"

"Yay!" Carlos heard the children yell as he led them inside. Stopping at the front desk, Carlos pulled the field trip file from his backpack, passing over the permission slips, waivers, and payment information before sheparding his class to sit criss cross applesauce on the floor. Lowering himself down next to him, his students immediately tried to get as close to him as possible, pressed up against both of his arms, poking him in the back, and one even sitting on his foot.

"This is the best, Mr. Reyes!" Franny exclaimed, clapping her hands together as she stared around the space. "Are there going to be real firefighters right here?"

"There sure are," a voice answered back, and Carlos turned his head, and oh, this man must be new here, because Carlos knew he would never have been to forget him if he'd seen him before. Green twinkling eyes, beautiful big smile, and those arms the AFD t-shirt showed off...Carlos forced himself to blink, but he knew he'd been caught staring when the man winked at him and grinned.

Carlos pretended he was propping his face up in his hands just to hide his red cheeks from his students, their parents, and said firefighter. He heard the man laugh, and then he heard him start speaking.

"Hi everyone, I'm Firefighter Strand, welcome to Fire Safety Squad!" The children screamed and clapped, but when Carlos raised his hand, they all raised a hand and settled back down. Firefighter Strand gave Carlos an impressed nod, before turning back to the students. "My friend here is Firefighter Marwani." She raised her hand and waved.

"We're here to teach you all about fire safety," Firefighter Marwani said with a smile, pointing at the organized pile of equipment in front of them. "Now, when we go to help put a fire and help people, we have to wear a lot of special clothes and carry a lot of special tools. And we have to put them on super fast as soon as the alarm sounds."

"How fast do  you think we can put all this stuff on?" Firefighter Strand called out with a grin, and the children all started shouting at once, guessing anywhere from a second to infinity minutes. His students helped the firefighters count down from three to zero, and then they were clapping and cheering as the two raced to get everything on correctly as quickly as possible.

When they had finished, the firefighters talked the students through every piece of their uniform and every tool, explaining what they were for. They made sure the children saw them in their full gear, so they would know never to be scared if a firefighter came to help save them from a fire, and showed an example of a fire safety plan they could make with their families in case of an emergency.

Then the children were released into the play areas of the building, where they could climb stairs and slide out of a play building with fabric flames, try on child size firefighter uniforms, drive mini fire trucks and motorcycles, and even play in a real decommisioned fire truck. Carlos watched with a wry grin as the parent chaperones took off running after their extremely hyped up group members, trying to convince them to all make the same choice of where they wanted to go first.

"Agnes, please wait your turn, Lucy got there first, you can slide down right after her!" Carlos called out, waving at the children who grinned mischeviously back at him.

"How did you even see that happening?" Firefighter Strand's voice came from over Carlos' shoulder.

"When you get your teacher certification, you also get a pair of eyes in the back of your head," Carlos said with a laugh, turning around and freezing as he ironically realized just how close he and the firefighter were actually now standing.

"Well, if they're as pretty as your normal eyes..." The firefighter said with a soft smile, ducking his head, and Carlos was delighted to find he wasn't the only one with blush-tinted cheeks.  "I'm TK. Are teachers allowed to have first names?"

"We are in fact," Carlos teased, smiling back at TK. "Mine is Carlos."

"Well it's very nice to meet you, Carlos," TK grinned, reaching out to shake Carlos' hand.

***

One year later, Carlos got off the school bus balancing two large coffees. "Friends, it is not a choice to run at the squirrels!" he called out, three of his students sighing as they turned back from their prey. "Everyone, please sure you stay with your chaperones! Let's do a head count and then we can head inside!"

Pushing the front door of Fire Safety Squad open, Carlos headed for the front desk, exchanging smiles with the receptionist as he passed over their paperwork. "It's all he's been talking about all week," she said with a wink.

"He's as bad as my students, I swear," Carlos laughed, before ushering his students to sit criss cross applesauce on the floor. Before he could lower himself down, he felt a familar pair of arms around his waist, and turned to meet TK's twinkling eyes and beaming smile.

"Hey there baby," Carlos said softly, meeting TK's grin with one of his own before handing over one of the coffees. Firefighter Marwani, now Marjan to Carlos, winked at them before quickly gaining the students' and parents' full attention. With all eyes elsewhere, Carlos leaned in, lightly brushing a kiss against TK's waiting lips. "I missed you."

"Three hours is an awfully long time to be apart," TK bantered back, intertwining their fingers. Raising Carlos' hand, he lay a kiss across his knuckles. "I missed you too, sweetheart. I miss you every second we're not together." Carlos blushed, and TK beamed. "Love that I can still do that to you even after a year."

"Well I love you," Carlos answered with a smile, squeezing TK's hand.

"I love you too," TK said, leaning in for one more kiss before stepping back. "And now I must go, for my other adoring fans await!" With a dramatic bow, TK hurried over to the group of children, who started up a new round of cheering now that they got to have two real firefighters in front of them.

Laughing, Carlos joined his students on the floor, and was immediately glomped onto by as many children as possible. He saw TK's eyes grow soft before he launched into his speech. "Hi everyone, I'm Firefighter Strand-Reyes, welcome to Fire Safety Squad!"

My Tarlos taglist (if you want to be added, let me know!):  @bikingthroughhawkins @officereyes @i-had-bucky @highqualitykhakis @meloingly 

[thecarnivorouskitten]

A Totally Out-of-Style Work that Probably Shouldn’t be my First Post

               It was a rainy day, a cold and blustery morning in late November. London Birminghem was burrowing through a dresser drawer for her wool socks.

               It was a frustrating situation, as she had been searching for nearly ten minutes. She was running late by her self-appointed schedule. It was 10:08 a.m.; her schedule said she was supposed to be at the Thomas J. Matthews Library in seven minutes, and it took her fifteen minutes by bus to get there.

Over half the contents of London’s sock drawer had been thrown about her room in her search, and she was beginning to wonder if warm feet were truly worth straying from her flawless schedule. She had spent a long time ordering her calendar, and hated to see her hard work wasted. She muttered a curse under her breath, snatching a pair of plain socks and stumbling to her bed to yank them onto her feet.

She almost didn’t bother to lock the door behind her as she swept outside, hunching her shoulders inside her black coat to ward off the chill of the frigid rain. The 10:15 bus would be arriving at the bus stop any minute. London leaned into a jog, dark hair whipping around her face. She could not miss the bus.

She did not. Whatever higher power there was in the world seemed to have some pity for her. She wiped her hair out of her hazel eyes and grabbed onto a handle on the ceiling.

The Thomas J. Matthews Library was not an impressive building, contrary to its name. It was a plain, one-story building, brown brick with a minimum number of windows. London checked the time. 10:33. She frowned, licked rainwater off of her lips, and hurried into the library.

Warm air smelling of books and cleaner met her, and as London’s shoes squeaked on the floor, the librarian at the front desk fluttered his fingers in a wave.

Mordecai Solace seemed to be the only librarian who worked there. He was in his fifties or sixties, London couldn’t be sure and didn’t ask, and had white hairs patching his short black beard. His eyes were the color of strong espresso, a shade darker than his skin, and he had crow’s feet wrinkling the corners.

“I was wondering if you would make it today,” He greeted her cheerfully. “Was it the rain that got you running late?”

London nodded offhandedly, not about to admit she had spent ten minutes searching for a pair of lost socks, and decided to change the subject. “How’ve you been, Mr. Solace? Any gruesome book returns?”

“No, no.” Mordecai shook his head, smile fading. “You’ve been the only visitor for two weeks. I did, however, get a donation of several books that I have been told are in good condition that you might be interested in.”

London grinned. “Let’s take a look, why don’t we?”

Bracing his hand on the front desk’s surface, Mordecai got to his feet, beckoning London over. She flung her coat onto the rack and paced behind the counter, dropping her bag.

Mr. Solace drew out a cardboard box from the shelf beneath the counter, setting it down with a heavy thump. His eyes sparkled, and he patted the folded flaps on top. “I haven’t looked through these yet,” He muttered, “But they came from a rather eccentric donator, so I don’t know what we’ll find.”

“C’mon then.” London reached out and tugged the box open.

There were only a few, maybe six, but they all looked old. Most were bound in fabric, although London could see two bound in leather. Gingerly, she took a leather-bound book and pulled it out from under another. Rubbing a coat of dust from the surface, she ran her fingertips over the title. Tales of thee Unseene, Unhearde, and Unspeakable.

“This looks intriguing,” London murmured, moving a finger to crack the cover when Mordecai snatched it from her grasp. She stared at the man, bewildered to find his hands trembling.

His eyes, full of dread, roved along the cover, fingers brushing against the stiff leather, jaw quivering. London tentatively stretched out a hand, resting it on his shoulder. Mordecai jumped, seemed to remember she was there, and set the book down hard on the desk. “This book isn’t suited to our library. I’ll do away with it when you leave.”

London shook her head in confusion. “I could just take it. I’d hate for a book to go to wa-”

“No,” Mordecai hissed, and London’s eyes widened in shock at the hoarseness of his voice. “No one may read this book. Do not read this book, do you understand?”

No, London did not understand. But she had grown close to older man in her years going to the Thomas J. Matthews Library, and would respect his wishes. She nodded quickly. “I won’t, Mr. Solace. I promise you.”

Mordecai nodded, slowly, seemingly lost in his thoughts again, fingers fluttering against nothing. From the other end of library, the grandfather clock he had salvaged from the side of the road chimed the turn of the hour, echoing lowly through the rows of books like shadows. London checked the time on her phone in surprise. Surely, she couldn’t have been there for half an hour already? Yet she had, and therefore she needed to go.

“I’ve got to go, Mr. Solace. I’m almost late for lunch.” London picked up her bag from the floor and threw it over her shoulder, looking back at Mordecai for his reaction, but still he stared into nothing, expressionless. She frowned, but the thought of her schedule drew her toward the door and the weather outside.

It was a long day, out and about in the city, and at 9:30, London was exhausted and glad to get home. She dropped her bag off in her room and took a hot shower, microwaving a can of chicken soup for her dinner before going straight to her room.

She was so tired she tripped over her discarded bag. She hopped in pain for a minute, hissing, when she realized she had not known what there was in the bag that was hard enough to stub her toe on. She bent, reached into the bag, and pulled on the hard object.

It was the book. The book. How had it ended up in her bag? Hadn’t Mr. Solace set it on the desk? But she hadn’t put it there, which meant he would have had to. Which meant… He did want her to read it after all?

It was strange, she thought as she settled into her blankets and opened the book, how the older man had acted that day. But what did it matter now? She would meet him again next week, same time, and everything would be fine…

Before she had even gotten to the right page, London fell asleep. Her breathing grew slow and deep, her body relaxing into the mattress.

Her bedside light was still on when it began to happen.

A tiny sprout, dark green and twining, curled up out of the binding of the book. Then another, and another, and the sprouts that were already there began to lengthen and swell with leaves, creeping along the page and then over the edge of the book. They were hungry, whispering things, snaking up London’s arm to bloom along her face in a dark mask of leaves until not a patch of her skin could be seen. Her hands jolted once, then lay still.

But the vines were not finished. From the center of the open book came the tearing of paper, and a cold, dank must filled the room as a dark hole bloomed from the leaf-choked book.

For a moment that seemed to stretch for eternity, the hole yawned, still and dark.

And then two long antennae appeared, followed by impossibly many twitching legs, and the first insect crawled out in a rippling of spidery limbs and wispy trembling of threadlike antennae. Whispering from behind it came a horde of the centipedes, glistening in the lamplight and dripping from the bed like water, crawling along the walls and searching for a way out into the world. From the ever-expanding hole of the book came a guttural call, low and wet.

A skeletal, broken hand gripped the edge of the hole, and out peered the skull of a wolf, gleaming with an unidentifiable slime.  The jawbone clacked, the empty sockets hollow as it dragged itself free from its prison of pages before reaching back inside, helping forth another grisly creature from the dark, and more came until the room was crowded with the clicking of bones and murmurs of insect legs. One found the window, and the shattering of glass splintered the night. Skulls grinned at the opening, and centipedes found the opening, swarming out with the creatures.

When a howl pierced the air of Mordecai’s home, he shuddered, closing his eyes. He should have never have written the book. He would never write again; he would end his curse, not bring more evil to the world.

The ghouls would be arriving soon, to come to their master. What would he tell them? If he said anything that would not please them, they would turn.

There was a scrape at the door. A wolfish skull leered in his window, and a pale, bony hand tapped the glass.

Mordecai stared into the sockets where its eyes should have been, regretting everything.

He had warned her about the book. Now it was too late.

[nyrator]

been feeling like venting, so just some random vents- then afterwards, JSRF ramblings because I just beat that game

turning 29 at the end of the week, not looking forward to it- turning 30 next year terrifies me

mother’s funeral was friday, got that out of the way relatively painlessly (other than having to spend an extra 800 dollars just to bury my sister with her, about $4500 by the end of it

gofundme raised about $2000, other donations about $1300 last I counted (probably higher), so most of it was covered

yesterday my mother’s 70 year old best friend held a party at a bar for my mother’s friends and I was obligated to go, bunch of crazy old women talking like sailors, drinking and smoking pot and laughing about all the drugs they did and all the times they got raped (yeahhhh), the only person I was comfortable around was the best friend. And then the party ends two hours late, we’re getting kicked out of the bar, and this friend falls bending down to grab a picture of my mother that she dropped, smashes her face into the floor, and collapses with a pool of blood under her face, unmoving, right in front of me. I couldn’t get the words out that I’d go and pick the photo up for her before she went to get it, and I regret it

Thankfully, she only had a concussion and a broken nose, she started responding after about a minute of just lying there, but it messed me up, I think.

I’ve been debating if I want to start drinking. I never tried before, mainly because my father was an abusive and violent alcoholic. The other reason is because I’m afraid what I’d do to myself if I had no inhibitions in place, I feel like I’d be very dangerous to myself.

neck has been stiff for two days. Probably slept on it wrong. Also keep feeling like I get different symptoms of covid every so often after exposing myself to the public (that bar was packed with old people who wouldn’t wear masks and had no concept of personal space). Today my throat’s been sore and I can barely breathe.

my boss told me I can go back to work as soon as the funeral’s finished- not sure if I should call her to remind her or wait for her to call me, she texted me last week and I told her the funeral was on friday. But my coworker was also wondering and asked me today, and I didn’t know what to tell her, since my boss doesn’t want me to let her know just yet because of how limited they’re open (three days a week, four hours a day)

relationships are very hard

I’m a terrible person who does the bare minimum to help someone who’s terribly lonely and depressed, and it’s like I’m backed into a corner in desperation from being unable to do anything about it. I’ve caused so much harm to this relationship that I wonder if there’s any way it can survive sometimes

It’s always the case, though- I can’t get myself to do more than the minimum effort it takes, and my social anxiety prevents me from ever initiating anything, which has cost me so many people that I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. And I can feel that awful, selfish bitterness inside of me, that part of my father and my sister that’s in me that I try to suppress, and I hate it.

my diet is going well enough, lost over five pounds since starting it late August. But it’s mostly because I just dislike eating, so eating in portions is easier for me. And then there are days like today, where I just don’t eat at all. Just ate one slice of bread, 30g of peanut butter, and a small cup of ice cream today, and I don’t even feel hungry. Normally I try to get some food in me, but today I’m just too disgusted to even try to make dinner.

My sleep’s also been weird, still. Been going to bed later and later again, but can’t stay asleep. Usually only sleep in bouts of 3-4 hours, then just lay awake until I’m half asleep long enough that I feel the urge to give up and get up. It’s been like that for weeks now, I can’t remember the last full night of sleep I’ve gotten.

In lighter news, finally got back to playing JSRF. Beat it the other night after 24.5 hours of game time, just have a few more challenges left (did everything from Dogenzaka Hill to the Bottom of the Sewage Facility so far), got all graffiti and souls possible before beating the final boss. Played it via emulator (which worked great except for crashing when entering the graffiti selection occasionally) with a Switch Pro Controller, felt really good. I own it and the original Xbox for it, but just am spoiled by a PC experience, I suppose.

The gameplay is great, but the level design leaves a funny taste in my mouth. Aesthetics are worse than JSR for me, while music... it’s tough to say, it’s different than JSR, but really grew on me. Sometimes it felt more like noise (I remember the Sewage tracklist not speaking to me too much at first with the more ambient-ish tracks), but it did grow on me a lot. Baby-T was my Garage theme the entire game, such a great track.

Naganuma’s music in the first game was definitely the weakest of the original’s OST (still good of course), but in Future I feel he really stepped up his game. Teknopathetic is one of my favorite songs in the new OST.

speaking of favorite music, here’s mine from each game:

Bout the City

Dragula

Magical Girl

Miller Ball Breakers

Mischievous Boy

On the Bowl (A.Fargus Mix)

Rock It On

Super Brothers

Yellow Bream

Aisle 10

Baby-T

Birthday Cake

Count Latchula

I'm Not a Model

Like It Like This Like That

Rockin' the Mic

Statement of Intent

Teknopathetic

The Scrappy

(shout outs to Girls from the one JSR CD, haven’t listened to much of the other exclusive songs to it, but Girls was good)

but yeah, my minor gripes with Future

Linear level design was a bit painful (missing a jump and not being able to backtrack a lot was bleh), and the later levels were very painful (the sewage area and the rooftops are come to mind, skyscraper to a lesser extent but I liked the skyscraper one a bit more), but at the same time, they force you to get good, which I can appreciate, so hm. Still, a checkpoint system (especially since there are save points) or unlocking shortcuts would be a bit more convenient, if not entirely necessary.

Not having a way to stop auto-grinding, even if just holding down a trigger or something- the way I latched onto rails especially in the sewage area was painful

Points challenges mainly being “find the special points rail and just spamming Y” on it was a bit odd (mainly for the Jet Techs so far, just five minutes of spamming Y...), but I like how the combos feel in this game, especially X combos to speed up. Has a rhythm that’s hard to explain but just feels natural.

Also street challenges should’ve been explained better in general, had to look up most of the special ones (and glitched out the Shibuya Terminal one many times until realizing the fix was just “hop all over each platform multiple times and hope it counts”, the second one next to the tilted platform specifically for me

Mew/Bis/Rhyth’s redesign still hurts, but you better believe she’s the character I used throughout the entire game after unlocking her

Storywise, I think I like JSR’s take better- Professor K being a neutral party and more amusing/less insulting, Onishima > Hayashi, and the character designs and artstyle I overall prefer from the first game

Felt like it tried to add things that just didn’t really work sometimes (Death Ball comes to mind, though I haven’t messed with Versus yet, the story mission was very easy compared to how they hyped it up), and the boss battles were all... strange. Tagging enemies on that roller coaster level, having to grind up to that one Hayashi boss fight over and over and over, then even moreso for the final boss... never got much use out of targeting enemies, spinning circles around them, or things like the railgrab for high jumps or skidding to slow down for graffiti, either, but maybe they have their uses.

But man, the game did feel fun to play, just frustrating to explore, I think. I still like the idea of making Skatered, even more after playing this game. Maybe I could learn modding, or something...

Oh yeah, also got all the pieces of my costume together (minus some eva foam), we’ll see how that goes. Not looking forward to assembling it, honestly, but I can’t back out now. Main regret I think is the tights, being unable to find striped ones (and the solid ones I bought being a bit too see-through, I should’ve bought a size up maybe). Still not confident enough in my makeup abilities, either.

and one last bit of light news- I finally got my Kuja figure, he’s so beautiful and detailed and I need a good place to put him

[trash-and-recyle-fics]

Desperate For Freedom part1

Summary: In a universe where females are not allowed to remain innocent after their 18th birthday Y/N must hide. But when her cover is blown how will the unforgiving government punish her? None other than gifting her to a God from three worlds away. The god of mischief. He is told to keep and do what he wishes with the lying girl. So that is what he will do. Chained to the inside of an air craft she is brought to him on Asgard. Were her fate will be in a liars hands.

Warnings: Swear words, there will be smut in future chapters, grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes , Some light physical violence

Note: ⚠️THIS IS 18+ FANFICTION READ WHEN YOU TURN 18 ⚠️

————————————————-

The dinner table was quiet and your parents solemn. Tomorrow you go to the clinic to get the operation to make you a women and available or marriage. Once a member of your society and available for marriage you will be sent away to have children. Only to repeat the system and laws you did not agree with. 

“Mamma cant I-” Your mother, not the one to answer, but your father. His hand made an impact on your right cheek. Your head whipped to the side and your hair fell in your face. The sensation not a new one.

“Mention this again Y/N and you won’t see tomorrow.” His voice commanding and rough. Not the slightest sympathy or remorse for what is going to happen. He was a believer in the government and how they operated. Your mother on the other hand had learned not to voice her opinions that differ from your fathers. You had yet to learn the skill.

“Y/N dear, don’t you want to be married and have a family? Maybe be desired?” She glanced over at your father to make sure it was the right thing to say. He looked pleased enough with her answer. Looking at her the hurt evident on your face. She almost shows emotions not approved by your father. He gives her a flat out deadly look.

“May I go to bed?” Your father nods and you clear your spot at the table practically run up the steps. Your room door missing just like the law states. As a young female you cannot, have a door in your private space, you may not attend a secondary school until you have the operation, you can not celebrate birthdays nor speak of your age to male members of society until you have the operation. You can not date or interact with males. You may not leave your house until 8 AM and you have to be back at 9 PM. You must know the laws before you attend any schooling of any kind. 

Your room contained only a mat made of foams and a insert on your wall that holds your clothing. You go to lay down, but a sudden defiance takes over you. These rules and laws are not for you. The government is a oppressive and strict one. Defiantly not one you support. Without really making the choice you go across the hall and find the glass pain in your parents room. You pick up the metal candle holder and launch it through the glass. You climb over the shards and drop to the cold moss below. The plush moss didn’t help much with the landing. With no time to wait you take off over your barrier that blocks off your property from the neighbors. 

“Y/N!!”

Your mothers voice faded as the smile spread across your face. The need for freedom coursed through you fueling the thought of something you only ever read from stolen books. Entering the waters area, you heard boys talking about it on the walk way before. Girls were not allowed to go. The skimpy clothing might reveal your true age. Only boys and men could go in the cool water. You sat down in the moss legs stretched out chest heaving. The feeling of freedom starting to be realized. You tear off the extra fabric at your legs that always hung loose. Your upper robes covered down to your knees. Ripping the sleeves off you felt like you could breathe better. You stood and started jumping and spun in circles. Celebrating everything you never could before. The date of your birth your newfound freedom and the fact that you could remain innocent forever. You laughed freely laid on the moss. Looking at the sky that held stars as if to light the sky for you and only you. Closing your eyes you fell asleep. 

Cold, wet and happy is what you woke up to. Instead of the midnight sky it was a blinding sun. The moss hugged you and only the sounds of birds and sirens were heard. Wait, sirens? looking up the flashes of yellow and red were seen. Surroding you were men in armor holding spears. Your heart started beating out of your rib cage. You turned to run and was met with a man holding a sword. The dizzy feeling and uneasyness did not go unnoticed.

“NO LET ME GO!!” Your screamed. Another rule broken. No lady was to raise her voice. Arms grabbed you from behind and you thrashed in them another set of arms grabbed your legs. Your parents had sent in the defense team after you. The same team that fought wars and had eaten at Odin’s table. A sharp smack across your face and you saw the same stars as last night expect this time they were falling. 

When you awoke again you had restraints on. Arms behind your back and chains on your ankles. The guards in full uniform holding weapons. Your innocence. Did they take it? As your thoughts started to speed up again the door was opened and minimum of 10 more guards entered the cell. Three without weapons advanced towards you. One grabbed your torso and the other your legs. While the third man unlocked the chain from your ankles. Your body numb as they carried you up stairs and through a door. Inside sat the General of Punishments next to the General of Official's affairs. The room sat publishers who were in charge of spreading official business, like a new war, international affairs and come to think of it treason.

“Y/N Y/L/N is surrendered by the blood parents for treason. Y/N fled from her private area on the grounds of not wanting to give up her innocence. Y/N will be sent to the father realm as a gift to the secondary son of the allfather. As an alternative punishment.” Treason? Asgard? The second child? 

Your home, family and the only place you know is sending you as gift to the god of mischief.   

“Y/N will be property of the secondary child, Loki. He may do whatever he sees fit with her. She will be leaving now.” The three man chained you again with the meatal known as Odin’s truth. It is unbreakable and used on the worst of criminals. You were lifted, you started to kick and fight. Getting in a kick to the man holding your legs he drops them and the man holding your torso looks back and you hit him with your head. His helmet only falling off and causing your head to ache. The man picked up your legs again but firmer this time. It seemed like no time at all before you were strapped in an aircraft between two guards. 

“The flight will be over soon.” The guard on your right spoke. Your body was flung against the back of the seat. Your wrists pinching with the chains on too tight. It seemed to last hours but in reality it was about 30 minutes. 

The guards stood and the aircraft landed. As the door opened more guards were waiting. They had on more official uniforms and better weapons. The guard who was directing the aircraft spoke to an Asgardian defense member. Starting to form a plan of escape when unchained. Your thoughts were interrupted. 

“Yes my lord she is in there.” Heavy footsteps landed on the metal floor stopping in front of you. Not once raising your eyes to see who it was. Your stomach dropped when he was in front of you.

“Unchain her feet she will walk.”  

“My Lord are you-’ 

“Are you questioning me?”

“No-.’ 

“Then unchain the thing.” Thing?! He didn’t even think of you as a life, and you just arrived. The guard undid your legs chains and your belt holding you to the chair. As he grabbed your upper arm to stand you up you kicked him in the knee and ran towards the control panel for the air craft. Your hands still behind your back you started to bend over to press the button that brings the heavy machinery to life but a hand in your hair stopped you. Yanking you back and onto your ass. The twist of your body made your arms throb. The man wearing green black and gold looked down on you.

“As entertaining as that was you will walk pet or you will be dragged.” You roll onto your stomach using your knees to get up. You stand in front of the god and spit in his face. His reaction was not one of anger but something much worse. The grin spread and his voice oozed confidence.

“ Very well we can do it the hard way. I happen to like that way better.” He nodded towards the guard you kneed. “Have her brought to my chambers cleaned and dressed. Her arms will remain chained but her feet will not. Is that understood.” The guard nodded. “Oh and drag her.” You looked at him defiance on your face and a smug grin on his. At least you aren't dead yet. 

~TIME SKIP~

The bed was plush and had silk sheets. The heavy draped were closed and the room lit by candles. The green and black were dominating and had hints of gold within the room. Your arms had been brought in front of you as you were chained to the bed post. A handmaid had washed you in the bath and put on a dress much nicer than anything you have ever owned. Ishbire your realm was not one of riches. Your eyes heavy and your body aching. It had been just you for many hours now no more light was shining under the curtains. When the heavy door swung open you were leaning against the bedpost nearly asleep. His presence took up the room, the looming thought of sleep trying to overtake you. Loki was a god of tricks and lies. He could very well put you under a spell and use you. He could also just as easily kill you.

“Are you sleeping pet?” He peeled off his outer layers. 

“You need to be present for our conversation.” He walked over to you and tapped your face. Opening your eyes he let the evil grin show.

“Sleep.” You murmured. Hoping and praying he would let you doze off into oblivion.

“Only goodgirls get sleep. Which is what I need to talk to you about. From now on you will address me as Sir. You will follow every command I give you if you do not you will be punished, and because you were sent to only because your home did not want you, you will also listen to the handmaids and guards. This is the overview. We will go in depth tomorrow. Understand?” Your eyes shut again and you started to slump. This time a rough slap on your bare thigh woke you up. He had both his hands on you thighs and was leaning so close you could smell him. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” Letting put a whine you tried to squirm out of his grip.

“Yes.” you knew without the sir portion of your answer would make him upset. And with that you were issued another slap in the same spot that stung worse. You let out a half cry and tried to bring your legs to your chest. Only resulting in more pressure on them.

 “I asked you a question.” He grabbed your jaw and forced you to look at him. “I expect an answer.” 

“Yes,Sir.” you seethed out. He nodded in appreciation. 

“ You will sleep next to me from now on.” He undid your arm chains and dragged you up the bed. In a sitting postion you sat less than a foot away from were he stood. His hands cold on your bare wrists. “If you try to run I will chain you up for weeks with punishment everyday.” You nodded. His nimble fingers wrapped around your throat, pinning you to the bed. You arched your back and tried to shove him away.

“Words, pet.” You shook your head no. He put slightly more pressure on your throat.

“Yes. Sir.”

**

Part two commin soon.

PS- If you really want something to happen with this story ( certain kinks ) let me know. I will consider all.

***

Taglist-

If you would like to be tagged just shoot me a message. ❤️❤️

@ Unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt

@teamfreewill79

@ Bakugouwinchester

@ books-baritones-bucky

[lobster-peach]

The Girls Bathroom

•••

Part 1

Part 2 -

This is a short story I wrote for my 10th grade creative writing class and I thought I'd share:)

*trigger warnings*

Eating disorders

Mental disorders

Drug/alcohol use

Violence

Child predator/abuse mention

Implied suicide

Another night without sleep. It’s growing less uncommon now. I’ve taken so many things to help me sleep, you’d be surprised that something hasn’t worked by now.

My window is open. I’ve always  liked it that way. It lets the night time air into my room, and it fills my lungs with the sweetest scent, that if it were bottled, I would keep it on me at all times. I’d be the girl people would ask what perfume I was wearing. I’d be the one they complimented. I’d be the one they talked to, in an admiring way. 

The smell reminds me of my childhood home. It reminds me of the smell of a thick and damp forest. It reminds me of the silent happy times. I let the night breeze create ripples in my curtains. 

And It’s peaceful. 

It’s peaceful to watch a force of nature calmly move something as simple as a sheer white window curtain to the beat of its own rhythm. To make it move like it’s dancing in water. 

I’m writing all my thoughts down again, like  I do every time my mind won’t sleep. I’ve noticed that everything feels so surreal at these times. Everything is quiet, the moon is the only light source in sight, the wind making the only other movement besides myself, and the world is still. I lay on my back and stare up at the ceiling, just stare and think about the world, and about life. Stress comes and goes at these times but it usually doesn’t stay that long.

 I think about my family, about myself, about strangers. I wonder if strangers do this too? Do they wear themselves out in the adventure we call curiosity?

I keep asking questions until I finally fall asleep to the sun peaking over the mountains. 

...

I haven’t been to school in weeks. I haven’t actually left my room in weeks either, if you’re not counting the trips to the bathroom. I feel like I've just been a whirlpool of emotions. One second I feel fine, and the next I feel like I’m in someone else’s body, wanting to scream. But today- today is the day I’m changing that. 

I get up, take a shower, and apply the minimum amount of makeup I actually have.

No one is awake in the house, so I slip out without a sound. 

If I’m honest, I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to go to school now, because the second I stepped through the glass doors, I was bombarded with shouts, shoves, and the smell of axe body spray. But right as I was about to turn around, get back into my car, and drive far, far away from this hell-hole, the vice principal noticed me. I saw the shock, and excitement light up in her eyes.

She made a b-line for me.

There was no escape. 

  ...

After an hour or so of sitting and listening to her gush about how much the school had missed me, and that if I "Ever needed anything to come talk to her, or any of the school faculty", I was able to leave her office. If I knew that I would get this bombarded with unwanted attention, I would have never left my house in the first place.

I would just dwell in the thought that I would have to make a living becoming a fast food worker, or selling my body to Sin City herself.

But that would still be better than this. 

...

The brick walls of the school seemed to piss me off even more than they used to now. They seemed to mock me, to make me feel like even more of a failure, with their posters of encouragement and activities. I headed into the girls bathroom to take a breather. Everything starting to kick in. I dashed into a stall and let my empty stomach empty itself even more. Nothing had actually happened to trigger any sort of panic, and I hated myself for it even more. I hated the fact that I couldn't be around people with no filters. I hated that I couldn't sit still in class. I hated that I couldn't just be normal. And now I'm just sitting on the floor trying not to think. But then I hear a knock, and a voice, gently, and quietly asking if I'm alright. My eyes widen. I don't know why I didn't think I would be the only one in a public highschool's girl's bathroom. Theres a part of me that hopes if I stay silent then whoever it was on the other side of the door would go away. But the voice comes back a second time. Still quiet, still gentle, but more urgent. Sounding like they were actually worried. Coming to the conclusion that I can't hide, I stand up and open the door to see one of the school's cheerleaders, Vanny. Her real name was Savannah, but everyone only ever called her Vanny. She looked as surprised as I was when she saw who was standing in front of her. 

    “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bother you. I just heard.. gagging, and I wanted to make sure that  whoever it was, was alri-”

I quickly cut her off.

    “It’s okay! Really!” 

Wow, I sound flustered. 

    “I just needed to let some things…uh… out.”

She let out a small breathy laugh at that. 

    “Yeah, I can tell.” she said

I can just feel the temperature in my cheeks raise at record breaking speed. My internal panic growing with it.

    “I- uh- sorry…”

God, I'm a mess.

She lets out another laugh at that, but this time something that looked somewhat like sympathy showed in her eyes.

    “Don’t be sorry. Really. I get it. It happens to me too.”

I gape at her a little.

But not so much that she would notice. Or at least I hope I so.

What on earth is happening.

But before I can even finish that thought, she's speaking again.

    “I haven’t seen you around all year.  I didn’t think about it that much till now. Do you wanna talk about it?”

She didn't wait for an answer and made her way into the handicap stall and sat against the wall. She just gestures for me to do the same. Part of me wonders if this was some kind of joke. If she had people outside the girls bathroom just waiting to torment me. But against my better judgement, I sit. I can't figure out how I am supposed to act, sit, or even breath. Is there even a right way to handle this?

She begins talking about her history with depression and anxiety. And normally when I hear someone say they have it, it’s not actually the “real deal” if you will. It’s just someone who thinks that it’s the end of the world when something unexpected and bad pops up in their life.

And I know it sounds terrible to judge a person like that, but it's just how things tend to be around here.

But she, she wasn’t like that. 

She tells me everything. How she can’t sleep at night, so she goes on drives. And how she finds that puking her guts out, nasty and as toxic as it seems, feels a little like a release. She tells me about her “friends” and how much she wishes that she could talk to them about everything that’s going on. She just tells me everything. Every feeling she gets. Every reason a tear sometimes slips from her brown eyes.

Everything.

I didn’t know that a person could feel the same way I did. I didn’t know that I could understand a stranger more than myself in just 30 minutes. 

These talks become a regular thing for us. After our second period classes, while the rest of the school left for lunch, we would go into the girls bathroom on the second floor. Into the handicap stall on the far right. And we would talk about everything.

    Vanny was kind. She held the door for me when we were together, she spoke to me like a real person rather than a joke, and she felt like home. There were days however, where she didn’t talk to me. She would send me apologetic glances from across the room so I tried not to think too much about it. I understood. She had a reputation to uphold. And I wasn’t apart of that. If I was, everyone would think of it as a joke. That she was just getting close to me to make fun of me. That was the part I worried about. 

I just wanted to mean something more to her than that. 

I just wanted a friend.

    Everyday that I spent with Vanny lead me into a deeper spiral of what I would call bliss. It was almost like, any trouble I had, any insecurity I had, she could instantly wash away with one look. 

...

I was stopped at an intersection driving home from school, when I noticed the people in the car in beside me were fighting. I didn’t want to invade their privacy, but then I noticed who was sat in the passenger seat. Vanny. The guy, was much older. Dark grey hair, and stubble across his chin. He had his hand on her thigh. I couldn’t see what his expression was clearly, but I had a pretty solid guess. Vanny looked very uncomfortable, she slapped his hand away and said something with her brows furrowed. The guy just laughed and put his hand back. She tried to push it away again but the guy wouldn’t budge. 

I decided to try calling her to make sure she was alright but the phone went straight to voicemail. I started to panic. I didn’t know what to do. I started to roll down the window and shout but the light finally changed to green and the car sped off. I wanted to change lanes and potentially follow them, but I couldn’t with all of the traffic of eager teeangers wanting to go home after a long day. I tried to try calling a few more times, but failed to get any sort of answer. 

My phone was hot from being pressed to my cheek for so long. I got home and the house was empty once again. This time though, my heart sank. I didn’t know who to ask about what I should do.

Me, in my panicked state decided to call the police.

I started blurting out everything that happened but it didn’t help. Without the guys name, plate number, or address, there was nothing they could do besides go to Vanny’s house and see if she was there and OK. 

    I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing with all of the possible things that could be happening right then to my Vanny.

No.

Not my Vanny.

Just Vanny.

I got a call from the police station just hours later. They told me she was safe at home and that I had no reason to worry.

Everything was fine.

...

    I still however rushed to school the next morning, calling and texting her trying to get some sort of insight to if she was really alright. I kept tapping my foot all through my first two periods. My mind couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than the thought of Vanny.

She needed to be okay.

What felt like years of waiting for that wretched bell to signal my release from this prison of unmatched bricks and books, it rang.

I all but ran to the second floor bathroom. And let me tell you, I have never been so happy to hear someone crying. I knocked on the door precisely six times to let her know it was me. I heard her shuffle and stand up. When the door unlocked I rushed in to hug her.

Her face was tear stained, but her eyes were empty.

We sat down and I held her.

Everything just felt... wrong.

I didn't know how to ask her what happened.

I didn't know if I even should.

She felt so fragile in my arms, that I was scared I would break her by saying anything else.

We sat in the bathroom in silence for the rest of the day.

I just let her cry.

At the end of the day I offered to take her home but she fervently said no.

I took her to my house instead, only so I could make sure she was safe.

...

The car ride home was quiet. I was waiting for the right time to ask her about what had happened but I still just didn't know how.

She had stopped crying hours ago but she kept the same empty look in her eyes.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye, just staring at the passing houses.

Her brown hair falling over her shoulders like silk.

I finally spoke up.

"Savannah, what happened?"

She jumped at the sudden sound of my voice.

I couldn't tell if she was going to answer or start crying again.

She was so unreadable.

But her dry lips parted, and her voice rasped out.

"My..."

She breathed out, sounding so wounded.

I had pulled the car into an empty grocery store parking lot and faced her.

"My stepfather... tried t-to...."

She couldn't finish. Her eyes welled up again with tear and she broke.

Her face buried in her hands.

I didn't know what to say.

So many thoughts were racing through my head.

I couldn't speak.

I just stared at her completely horrified.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

She lifted her face and looked me in the eyes.

"Please don't tell anyone."

"Vanny we have to call the cops we-"

"No!" She yelled, I had never heard her yell.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone. Not your family, not any teachers, not the police."

She was urgently begging me.

"Vanny I can't just let this be. This is serious. He needs to be put in prison for this-"

"Please." She said once more.

"Please."

I looked at her.

Red, wide, eyes staring deep into my soul.

"I-I can't..."

...

I called the police once we got to my house explaining everything.

They got a warrant to search Vanny's stepdad's things and found digital folders of child pornography. They didn't have enough to charge him with the assault, but the files were enough to put him away.

When it happened, Vanny didn't speak to me for weeks.

She was convinced I had betrayed her.

But she eventually came back.

[hoseokmylovesworld]

Picture of Love | 14 (M)

Pairing: Photographer!Hoseok x OC x Producer!Yoongi

Genre/Warnings: Hoseok AU/Yoongi AU/Includes strong language, anxiety attacks, violence, mentions of death, fluff, smut, dirty talk, rough sex, deep throating, choking, oral and vaginal sex.

Words: 9,464

Summary: Charlotte Galloway is the leader of the up and coming girl band, “She-Bang”, with a side hustle as a photographer for anyone who will hire her.  She meets a fellow professional photographer named Jung Hoseok who helps “She-Bang” realize their dreams and Charlotte to make a love connection along the way.

A/N: This is the longest one yet, but please read to the end, it’s a doosey

“Leyah this is serious, come on.” I chide, yanking her back from flicking the blinds with her fingers in the empty apartment. After browsing the internet and newspaper idly for more adequate living situations for the last few weeks, the girls and I finally decided to actually take a look at some of them.

“I was just checking if the blinds were up to par...they’re not.” She flicks them again and they shake wildly, proving her accusation.

“We can always replace the blinds Leyah, what do you think about this place?”

“I think it’s way too small.” she responded curtly, looking up and around in an unsatisfactory way.

I sigh in defeat. “It’s one of the only ones we can afford so it’s gotta count as a definite maybe right now.” Leyah just hums and rolls her eyes.

The apartment we were viewing was much like the others we looked at this week. Two bedrooms, a small kitchen and a small living area. Everything was just small and as much a we needed a space to accommodate all of us and our belongings, we all made the same living and it just wasn’t enough.

“Well, maybe if you asked your loaded boyfriend nicely, he might pitch in.” Leyah muttered with her hand against her cheek as if she were telling me a secret. I slap her arm quickly.

“That’s not funny, Leyah. I wouldn’t ask him to do that, we’re not even like...together, together yet.” Leyah whips her head around to face me with a shocked expression.

“Are you serious? You guys haven’t talked about making it official yet? It’s been like...over two months.” Leyah’s eyes went out of focus as she did the math in her head.

“No, we talked about it.” I share as she follows me to check out the master bedroom once again. “He didn’t really understand why I didn’t want to be called his ‘girlfriend’, it sounds really selfish now that I’m telling this to someone else, but he understood. Like he does everything. We agreed to just be together without any actual labels. It’s like our own little ‘official’.” I shrugged, thinking back to that awkward conversation.

My breakdown in his kitchen, prompted many questions about our relationship from Hoseok that I couldn’t ignore. After going into detail about my strong aversion to the word girlfriend and relationships altogether before I met him, he decided he was content with simply being mine and vice versa.

“Wow, you are officially the luckiest girl alive.” She drawled, looking quite impressed with Hoseok herself. “Thank you, but I’m aware.” I smiled to myself and we moved onto the next apartment on the list.

After hopping all over town from Ocean Avenue to Daly City looking for apartments, Leyah and I crash as soon as we enter the apartment around 7:30 PM. I plop down onto my bed, lazily removing clothing items from where I lay and drifting to sleep easily.

“No, Char! Are you dumb or something?”

“Should you still be eating? Gimme that, you’re gonna get fat.”

“I should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to do it on your own!”

“Why do I even bother? You never do anything right!”

“God! Have you always been this dense?”

“I literally said the opposite. Fucking listen for once!”

“Gak!” I gasped as I was jolted out of my sleep by yet another nightmare. I look up at the ceiling, focusing on it’s squiggly pattern, trying to calm my heaving chest and my racing mind. The room was pitch black in most places, the only light being offered was by the moon in lines of white along the walls. I lie awake, convinced that if I attempt to go back to sleep, I’ll only be able to see his face barking at me for all of my defects and faults.

The sudden need to need to vomit that will never be relieved takes over my gut and the heaving of my chest has increased and as it was constricting tighter and tighter.

Instinctively, my hand flies to cover my mouth when the familiar sting behind my eyes begins. The last thing I want is to wake any of the girls and have them worry about me. I try and try to shake the nasty voices, but the tears keep coming and I can’t find it in myself to be silent any longer as it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

I quietly make my way to the bathroom, shut the door and climb into the tub where I hugged my knees and allowed myself to sob, but somehow still keeping the volume to a minimum.

This had to be the fourth one this week.

It would surprise no one that I am no stranger to nightmares and I that usually handled them better than most people did. That is, if you can call suppressing my own emotions and traumas handling it, then I’m your girl. But this recurring shit storm that I was experiencing was different than any of the nightmares I’ve had previously. The reason being: they were all about my past. And almost all of them were about Yoongi.

Whether the dreams were pleasant or brutal, I was always an emotional mess afterward, feeling empty from reflecting on my past. I would get them often after Yoongi left. That’s when the panic attacks started getting serious. Knowing that I was actually alone in the world with no one to call a friend or even care that I existed unleashed a lot of dark thoughts and I had to learn how to make it on my own for real this time. If I had known opening up to J-Hope was going to send me spiraling back down that dark hole, I would have shut up and ate my pancakes.

But, I can’t put the entire blame on him. He didn’t force me to say those things or revisit the past and as cheesy as it sounds, the nightmares only come when he’s not sleeping next to me. I’ve noticed over the past couple of weeks or so that J-Hope is my personal dream catcher and tonight has solidified the fact that if I didn’t have him by my side as I slept, I was royally fucked.

The pounding in my ears softened and eventually slushed to a holt. The vice grip on my heart faded at a devastatingly slow pace and my breathing evened out as I counted the tiles on the shower wall. I let out a thankful sigh once the room stopped spinning and I was painfully aware of the silence in the room. I let my body fall back and I turned to lie on my side, still letting the tears fall from my eyes silently. I debated calling J-Hope during the aftermath. Hoping my personal ray of sunshine would pull me from my depressed funk as usual.

It’s gotta be at least 3 am, he won’t answer anyway.

He might, we have to try.

And say what? Hi, I’m sad. Drop everything to make me happy?

Obviously not, but he cares, he’ll want to help.

He’ll want to go back to sleep and wish we never called.

Don’t do this. We need it.

It felt like my conscience was wrestling with itself or with me, knocking against my skull in the battle causing a pesky headache. It took all of my strength to peel myself off of the floor of the tub and drag myself back to the room, to the bedside table where my phone was. It was indeed 3:36 AM and the confirmation made me place the phone back on the desk and forget the idea of calling J-Hope entirely.

We need to sleep Char. Come on. My conscience scolded me again.

I wanted to fight back at least for the sake of my pride. I made it a point not to need anyone for anything after that asshole broke my heart and here I am needing someone else to be able to sleep. I felt pathetic in plain terms. But at this point I knew I needed to try.

I take the phone and a room key, sneak into the hall and slide down the nearest wall. I glare at the screen a while longer, hurriedly dialing the number before I could change my mind. After the third ring I moved to hang up and throw away this half-baked plan, but then I heard his beautifully, groggy voice through the phone.

“Charlotte?” he rasped. I gasped slightly, not expecting him to pick up.

“Uh, yeah. Hey.” I spoke brokenly. I didn’t take into account the condition of my throat and voice sounding like I just gargled glass. I sniffle subconsciously.

“What’s going on? Are you alright?” He sounds more awake now, coming to with concern.

“Yeah, I just…” I choked, not knowing what to do or say in this situation. I felt lost. My words were trapped in my throat that seemed to be closing in on itself again as I wipe more fresh tears from my face. “No.” I finally whimper.

“What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

I don’t answer as I am too overcome with emotion, my words being turned into snivels and moans. After a moment he tries to get a response again.

“Charlotte.” He calls out, making sure I’m still there.

“I’m sorry...for calling so late. I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“It’s fine, just tell me what’s wrong, baby.” The pet-name sends warmth through my chest and a fractured smile to my face.

“I’m…” How does one tell another ‘I’ve just had a panic attack and I need to sleep next to you’ over the phone? I scour my brain for answers.

“Uh...are you home?” I squeak through the phone.

“Yes, I am.”

“Can I...can I come over? I’m really sorry, but I-I just need to see you.”

“Of course, Charlotte.” I close my eyes and let out a thankful sigh.

“Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.” I could hear movement on his end, probably him getting dressed to get me.

“No! You don’t have to do that. You just woke up, I don’t want you to get into an accident. I’ll just call an uber.”

“It’s ten minutes, Charlotte. I’ll be there in no time-”

“No, please, just stay, I’ll be fine on my own.” I said sternly, not willing to budge this time. He figured as much. There was a beat of silence.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.” I reply automatically.

“You know what, I’ll call it, just so I know you’re safe.” He decided.

I roll my eyes, but smile at the sentiment. “Fine, Jay.”

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

I tiptoed back into the hotel room, to change into something more decent, but ready to sleep in and grab my necessities to head down to the lobby. A good amount of my clothes were already at J-Hope’s apartment, some makeup and toiletries as well so I didn’t need to bring much. I began staying over so often that it would be silly not to have my belongings over there. The girls made fun of me for it of course, but for once I didn’t buy into it. I was comfortable with our arrangements.

In no time I was knocking on J-Hope’s apartment door. I could hear faint footsteps before the door swung open in front of me to reveal him. He was shirtless and wore navy blue, checkered pajama bottoms and a comforting smile. I immediately threw my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into the apartment and closing the door behind me. We just stood there for a long while until I separated us. With no words yet to be exchanged, J-Hope led me to his bedroom and basically tucked me in and watched as I got comfortable.

“Do you need anything?” He asked, still standing off to my side of the bed. “Water? Tea?” He added. I look up at him through tired eyes.

“Water sounds great, actually.” I all but croak. All the crying I did took a lot out of me and I realized I needed to rehydrate. He nodded, scampering off to the kitchen.

He made it back in record time, handing me a glass of water after I sat up a bit. He finally got in bed himself and I could feel him watching me. Studying me to see if I would break down again.

“You don’t need to watch me like that you know?” I say glancing up at him, he suddenly looks down when our eyes meet. “Like I’m gonna break at any moment.” I mutter.

“I’m sorry...it’s just when I heard you crying I got worried.” He looks me up and down again while I look at my already empty glass. “Thank you...for worrying. I really didn’t know who else to go to. I’m sorry.”

He grabbed my hand from my lap and squeezed. I looked at his wide eyes.

“Charlotte, you have no idea how glad I am that you came to me. I’m always gonna wanna make sure that you’re alright. Please don’t be afraid to come to me with things like this. You can trust me...Okay?”

I looked up at his deep brown eyes so full of emotion and nodded, believing in every word. I was still very much in shock that he’s not acting like I inconvenienced him or that he didn’t turn me away in the first place.

“Okay. With that being said...Are you alright?” He asked carefully, caressing my hand in his. I think about it and I find myself nodding slowly, once more. “Yeah.” Now that I finally have you next to me, yes.

“Good. What happened?”

“Uh, I had a nightmare.” I admit hesitantly. J-Hope knows about my recent night terrors and most of their contents. No matter how much I wanted to hide it from him, it’s like he has the power to get me to talk about these things. Like a vampire using compulsion. But he doesn’t know that he’s the antidote.

His shoulders drop and he sighs disappointedly. “Again?” I nod. “And then I kind of had a panic attack.”

He makes a pitiful face and clenches his jaw. He motions for me to put the glass down and then to get under the covers. We cuddle up to one another, facing each other and he rubs my back soothingly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I sigh as the familiar words leave his mouth. It always seemed to help to get these things off my chest to J-Hope so I threw myself back into the mess that started this whole ordeal.

“He was yelling at me again...barking more like. All those obnoxious things he used to say whenever I did something wrong...And then I was running. Down this pitch black street that never seemed to end. Until I get to this weird looking building with one white door on it...Y-” I wince as I almost uttered his name.

“He came out and just stood by the door like he was waiting for me or something. And then I turned around to see Maeve behind me...she looked like she was waiting for me too...It was like I had to choose. And I didn’t want to, but...I chose him.” I laugh bitterly before continuing. “It was so real, like a fucking slap in the face...No matter what happened between us or what horrible things he did or said to me, I always went back to him...all while pretending like Maeve never even existed. I turned my back on her, just like I did five years ago.”

“That’s not true.” J-Hope interjected immediately. “I know you feel like what happened to Maeve was your fault, but we both know that it wasn’t. And you were coping with her death in your own way.” I let out another harsh laugh.

“Well, thanks for seeing it that way.” J-Hope suddenly scooched down to my level and tilted my chin up to look him in the eye.

“You don’t know this, but I have made it my personal mission to get you to stop beating yourself up this way and to, instead, make you smile whenever you do. You’re so much better than that. I just wish you saw yourself the way I see you.” He said sincerely. I let the corners of my mouth slide up one at a time at the statement, knowing that, that is literally what he’s been doing and well. My heartbeat increased and small currents of electricity found a home in my fingertips. I had no words and so I settled for a slow, searing kiss to get my message across. “Mission accomplished.” He whispered when we broke the kiss. We giggle and actually settle in for bed, turning off the bedside lamps.

“Night, Charlotte.”

“Night, Hobi.” A few moments of silence passed before I decide I have a confession of my own.

“Hobi.”

“Hm?”

“You don’t know this, but...you’re my dreamcatcher.” I say into the darkness.

He delivers a kiss to my wild hair and I smile once more before drifting off into a glorious, dreamless sleep.

++++++++++++

I opened my eyes lazily, adjusting to the change of scenery. I find a strong sense of comfort in Hoseok’s arms wrapped snugly around me and I nuzzle myself into him further. He does the same, pressing our bodies together firmly and tightening his hold on me. I attempt to fall back to sleep when I feel a soft kiss planted on the back of my neck, signifying that he was awake. He continued to kiss along the side and make his mark on my cheek and jaw causing me to giggle helplessly.

I turn in his arms to face him and kiss his lips hard, both of us smiling into it like maniacs. It’s not long until he tries to get on top of me and caress my body with his strong hands. I allow him to do as he pleases and arch my body into his, inviting him to grind his core into mine.

“I can’t even stretch my limbs before you’re trying to ravage me.” I laugh into his perfect mouth.

“Haha, well I had to try before you left me for the girls.” He goes to plant another kiss to my neck as my eyes widen with adrenaline. I dodge him, turning to look at the alarm clock that read 4:47 PM.

“The girls!” I push him off of me and run to the dresser in record time while Hoseok watches, cluelessly. “I totally forgot, we have a fucking gig today!”

The show today starts at eight o’clock and usually waking up in the evening doesn’t compromise that, but seeing as I only have three hours to shower, dress, beg the girls for forgiveness and travel all the way to a venue in Bodega Bay, I’m beginning to panic slightly.

I race to grab some of my own clothes in his dresser, scamper into the shower and crank up the hot water. When I return I throw on the fullest face of make-up I can manage while moving at lightning speed. I manage to buff out my foundation and concealer, slap some brown and gold eyeshadow on my lid and brush on some mascara while Hoseok finds something and freshens up.

“Uh, I’ll drive you.” He decided in his sleepy stupor.

“Thank you. I’m sorry bout this Jay, I’ll pay you back, I promise.” I peck his cheek on the way out the door. He just laughs, rushing with me to his car in our pajamas. “Don’t worry about it Charlotte, let’s just get you back.”

“Thanks, Hoseok!” I kissed him on the cheek once more before I’m flying out of the car and racing up to the hotel room, hoping to God the girls aren’t too mad at me.

I slipped into the room silently, not wanting to be seen out of embarrassment. The suite looked empty. Did they leave without me? The room was mostly silent, save for the whispering of two voices coming from the bedroom. My shoulders drop in relief as I approach the slightly ajar door, but I froze when I hear the deep, broken voice of Darren.

“So, what do you want me to do? Just stop feeling the way I do?” He huffed in his usual low register. What is he doing in our room?

“Don’t say it like that Darren, you’re making me sound like the bad guy.” I heard Leyah’s smooth voice join his and my eye brows furrow, my curiosity spiked even higher.

Darren replies, sounding defeated. “That’s what you’re saying though...isn’t it?” Leyah sighs and by the way the bed released a noise of pressure, I can tell she sat down. “Well, yeah...I guess I am...I’m sorry.” There is a moment of silence before Darren speaks up again.

“It’s just...it sounds stupid Leyah, but I can’t hold it in anymore.” My head cocks in interest at his ambiguous words.

“And I’m sorry, but I’m asking you to do exactly that.” I found myself leaning closer to the door as the conversation went on, hoping to get closer to what Darren was getting at.

“I just told you, I can’t. What do you want me to do?” He asked sarcastically with a bitterness to his voice. More silence.

“Look, I just want this to work out for everybody and in order for that to happen, I need you to-I don’t know, just somehow keep this to yourself, okay? I know I’m probably asking too much of you, but I promise you, it’s for the best.”  

“So this works out for everybody but me, huh?”

“Listen to me, I know you want a second shot or whatever, but telling Char how you feel is going to help, literally no one, trust me.” Leyah pleads with her best friend in a soft, reassuring voice and my eyes widen immensely.

Holy fuck.

They were having this deep, arduous conversation about me the entire time. So, Darren really did have genuine feelings for me and knowing Darren, that’s probably what he meant to tell me the night of our fight. That was weeks ago. By then, I already knew Darren had feelings for me, but hearing that his feelings were so deep that he literally couldn’t hold back anymore was daunting. I try to keep my breathing under control and not give myself away as I continue to eavesdrop for more answers.

“Besides, Char is really into that J-Hope kid and...they’re good together.”She spoke with an apologetic tone. “You telling her how you feel would just complicate things. Or it might get you hurt and I don’t wanna see either of my friends hurt. I…I just want you all to be happy.”

“Happy-what about my happiness, Leyah? Every time I see them together, I just want to punch something. I thought you were trying to help me in this-”

“That’s all I’ve ever done, Darren! And this time is no different.” Leyah suddenly yells, causing me to jump back from the door and almost lose my footing.

“You may be blind to it because of your feelings for her, but it’s obvious he’s it for her...and vice and versa. I know you see it, you just refuse to believe it and I’m sorry, but there is no way an apology and a confession is going to win her over when all she can see is him. The way they look at each other...even Char refuses to see it, but I know you do...I am trying to help you...this is me, trying to help you. Please don’t do this.”

Silence.

I couldn’t help the corners of my mouth slowly turning up into a smile when Leyah said Hoseok and I were good together. I knew the girls didn’t mind him, but I never asked them what they thought of the two of us together. I’m glad my best friend approves because I intend to keep him around for a while. And despite how much I wanted to grimace at her saying he was it for me, I couldn’t fight the butterflies that erupted in my stomach at the thought. Day by day, I’ve been exposing myself to the wonderous world of monogamy that once disgusted me and coming closer to embracing it. It only took the most awkward encounter of my life to realize that Hoseok may actually be the one. I huffed out a laugh to myself at the revelation when Darren finally speaks.

“Damn, Leyah. Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?” He spat angrily followed by the sound of his footsteps heading towards the bedroom door. My eyes widened tenfold and I panicked slightly before tip-toeing to the hotel room door at lightning speed. By the grace of God I was able to open it and slam it before Darren barged out of the bedroom and directed his heated gaze at me, pretending I had just walked in. It quickly turned to shock and relief as he recognized it was me, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind. I had trouble controlling my own facial expressions, not expecting to face him this quickly.

“Darren-oh, Char. You’re here.” Leyah said, closing the bedroom door behind her and joining Darren and I. She exchanged her frown for an emotionless line.

“What happened to you last night?”

“Oh. I, um...decided to go to Hoseok’s last minute and I got...caught up-uh…I’m really sorry I’m late.” I stammer, trying to give Leyah an excuse that won’t trigger Darren in turn.

“It’s okay, Char. I called, they pushed us back, it’s all good.” She shrugged. I sigh heavily and practically throw myself at her, wrapping my arms around her.

“You are the literal best. Why are you not in charge?” I whisper into her neck. She just chuckles and says “Because you’re much better at it.”

I continue to hug her, recalling what she said about my relationship with Hoseok, helping me to realize what was literally in front of my face the entire time. “Thank you.” I whisper once more.

“Anybody coulda done it Char, it’s nothing...come on, stop being weird.” he began to shrug me off, the longer we embraced and I broke away from her smiling. I turn around, remembering Darren was directly behind me and immediately avoiding eye contact. “Okay. Where is everyone? We should head out, right?”

“They’re in the garage, waiting for us.” Leyah shares, leading us out of the room.

“What were you guys doing?” I glance at the floor, trying to play dumb.

“I spilled something in your room, while I was waiting for Leyah to get ready. She helped me clean it up. Sorry.” Darren told me robotically as we got on the elevator. The excuse created another batch of questions I could have asked, but knowing the truth, I just left it alone for fear of being found out.

My friends were all waiting in the van in the garage and had many questions for me once I finally showed up. I just apologize repeatedly and dodge their questions as much as I can until they get that I don’t have any interest in discussing what exactly happened to me last night.

The atmosphere during the gig lacked that usual feeling of giddiness and excitement due to the events that occurred in the past 24 hours. My mind was full of thoughts of Darren and this incredibly uncomfortable situation he unknowingly put me in. It was obvious that Leyah and Darren were feeling it as well, their gazes always glazed over and far away whenever I laid eyes on them, which wasn’t often as I avoiding Darren again. Whenever he happened to be standing near me, I quietly slipped away to busy myself or when our eyes met, my eyes would dart elsewhere immediately. The other members seemed as lost as ever and skeptical, like they hadn’t been let in on a juicy secret.

When the option to visit the bar at the venue presented itself, I jumped at the opportunity, in desperate need of a drink after our set was over. I take a seat at the bar by myself, not bothered or surprised that the band left me alone. I see Darren do the same at the opposite side of the bar.They most-likely noticed me acting off and decided to give me space. I actually prefer it.

I had just downed my fourth shot and was starting to feel the effects when Darren took a seat on the stool on the right of me. I tense up involuntarily. I continue to look at the counter intensely, not acknowledging him until he speaks first.

“Hey, Char.” I turn to him slowly and glanced up at him from under hooded lids. He looked worried, for which one of us I couldn’t tell, but it made me antsy. I just nod at him. “You okay?” He followed up. I just nodded again, wishing to be anywhere, but here.

“Okay, um, I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute.” He stammered.

I made a face before responding. “You are talking to me.” I drawled. He just laughed, his pearly whites on full display, reminding me how painfully beautiful his smile is.

“In that case...I wanna apologize again for everything I put you through in the past couple of weeks-”

“You didn’t put me through anything Darren, you...were trying.” I cut him off, not wanting him to beat himself up over something he couldn’t control.

If you wanna apologize for something, apologize for sticking your nose in my business all the time.

“Well, I’m thankful you see it that way, but I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting.” He said sincerely.

Then why are you doing this?

“I forgive you...I still haven’t apologized for those things I said to you weeks ago. I’m not gonna lie and say they didn’t come from a place of truth, but I really shouldn’t have said them, especially like that.” I ramble drunkenly.

“You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, just pills I had to swallow, I guess.” He shrugged. I just shake my head, thinking back to that night and how nasty I was to him. But I don’t speak on it anymore, knowing he would take my side every time.

“I also wanted to tell you something that’s been on my mind for a while.” He spoke slowly.

I turn to look at the counter again and sigh heavily and my heart beat speeds up significantly. Even after listening to Darren and Leyah earlier, I’m not ready to hear it from him for real, face to face.

“I know you were listening to Leyah and I earlier.” My head snaps up at him and the room spins slightly, my eyes widen. He just chuckles at my reaction. “I saw you run by the door to make your escape.” I wish I could laugh like him, but the severity of the situation still has me on edge.

“I guess there’s nothing to say then.” I say still trying to escape this confession.

“I wish there wasn’t” He replies.

“There doesn’t have to be.” I look up at him with furrowed brows and eyes that read ‘don’t do this.’

He makes a face, signifying that he recognizes my rejection, but he goes on.

“I know you’re into this Hope kid, but like you said, I’ve waited long enough, I have to try and I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get this off my chest to you now.” He says with a passionate stare.

My body I moves before it has time to recognize the command form my brain, getting up and walking past Darren. I just had to get away in that moment. I stumble back when I feel his strong grip on my arm, turning me to face him. My eye twitched and my hands balled into fists. “Char, wait.” he pleaded.

“Darren let me go right now.” I feel my breathing quickened as I tried to free myself.

“Char, I love you.” His intense eyes meet mine, his voice was deep and fierce. His words immediately filled me with a sense of dread and my heart pounded in my chest, I was struck again with the need to escape.

“This isn’t happening, please let me go, now.”

“No, please, just listen to me. There is no one for me, but you, I need you to know that.” I work on unwrapping his hand from my arm when I made eye contact with the bartender behind Darren. He looked me over and his face lit up with concern. He took off to the front of the club and I was left to fend for myself against my friend in this sea of people who seem blind to what’s happening in front of them.

“Darren, let me go, I need to get out of here.” I growled at him. His grip only tightened.

“Char, don’t be like this. Please, just give me a chance.” He urged, staring me down with desperate eyes.

“I don’t want to! I don’t want you!” I shout above the music.

“Darren, what the fuck!” Leyah’s voice shot from behind me. I turn to see her enraged face and a burly bouncer making his way towards us in the distance, the bartender leading him to us. I feel stinging behind my eyes as so many emotions came over me  all at once because this situation has gotten way too out of hand.

“What are you doing? Let her go, you idiot!” Leyah joins in trying to separate us.

“Char, you can’t leave until you hear me out, please!”

“You’re hurting me!” I screamed just as the bouncer took hold of Darren’s arm and yanked it. Finally, I was free and clutching my arm, tears flowing down my face.

“Why are touching me? I didn’t do anything!”

The bouncer tried to restain Darren, but he fought back and the bouncer didn’t take kindly to that. In no time a fight broke out and we all backed away. Leyah tried to comfort me by wrapping her arms around my shoulders and I shrugged her off instantly, not wanting to be here anymore.

I slipped through the bodies and made my way out of the building onto the street, gulping in all the fresh night air that I could. I bend down, touching my hands to my knees, trying to get my breathing under control, counting backwards from ten. When I have enough confidence to roam, I quickly walk around the corner and hope the band doesn’t think to look for me here.

I never expected to want to hide from my friends in a time like this, but recently I’ve done it more than I would like to admit. I used to run to them for stuff like this and they would help however they could. It was never enough though. Before them I would bottle everything up because it felt like no one understood. No one does. Except Hoseok.

I would deal with the issue the only way I knew how. Sex and alcohol. I got the alcohol part down seeing as I’m still slightly woozy, leaning on a cement structure near the bar. The only thing I need now is an orgasm and all my problems should be solved.

I laugh bitterly and rub at the dry tears on my face.

You can’t fix this.

I can try.

I ignore my conscience and seek out my old method of numbing the pain as I pull out my phone and call uber to Hoseok’s place. I get myself together as much as I can in the back of the car, avoiding calls from my bandmates. My whole demeanor changed once I arrived and took the elevator up to his apartment.

I knock sternly on Hoseok’s apartment door, biting my lip in anticipation and restlessness. Thoughts of tonight's events playing over and over in my mind, making me jittery and somewhat uneasy. I shake it off, knowing Hoseok would give me just what I needed in a time like this.

He opens the door steadily, not expecting any visitors, and brightens when he sees me. “Oh Charlotte. Come in.” I do more than that.

I leapt into his arms, immediately attaching my lips to his in a feral manner, my fingers splayed out, running along the expanse of his muscular body.

“Mm, hello to you too.” He mumbled against my needy lips, but going along with it, kissing me back and caressing my body as well.

“I need you.” Is the only excuse I give, making brief eye contact before leaning down to suck at the juncture of his neck. He moans and plants kisses near my ear. I push him backwards in the direction of his bedroom, sitting myself on his lap, legs on either side of his hips as soon as he touches the bed.

“Have you been drinking?” He panted.

“Maybe.”

I suck his bottom lip into my mouth, nibbling on it hungrily as I grind my hips into his quickly hardening dick. I’m interrupted from my magical state when Hoseok takes a hold of the hair at the crown of my head and pulled gently. “You okay?” He asked slightly out of breath from our make out, seeking out my eyes.

I cup his face with both my hands and look him in the eyes intensely. “I will be…” My tongue slides out of my mouth to lick a slow stripe up his parted lips. “Once you fuck the shit outta me.” I look down at his glazed over eyes, raised eyebrows and sexy agape mouth, finding no signs of resistance, but of course everything about it said he saw right through me. But I could care less if it means getting what I want in this moment. He just nodded understandingly. “Okay.” He let his sinful tongue wet his lips before forcing my face to his to devour my mouth and the rest of my will power.

He made quick work of his plain white t-shirt, throwing it behind me and then unbuckled the overalls of my dress. I help the rest of the way, removing my shirt, leaving just my black lace bra. He takes a moment to admire the view and then he rips the cups of my bra down to suck my nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it and repeating his actions on my other breast. I moan out, arching my back into him, continuing to gain brilliant friction from grinding my crotch into his.

I kiss my way down his neck and chiseled front until I’m on my knees, in between his legs. I fondle his dick through his sweatpants graciously and all-but rip the garment from his hips. He cooperates, lifting his hips and pushes down his underwear as well. I waste no time with teasing, taking his head into my mouth as soon as it is presented to me. Hoseok instinctively threads his fingers into my thick hair and tugs slightly.

“Fuck, Charlotte.” He hissed through his teeth and began fucking into my mouth. I invite him in further, relaxing my throat and jaw, letting it go slack to feel him hitting the back of my throat repeatedly. I let him do as he pleased with my body, enjoying the feeling of making him feel good. I celebrate the fact that the tears that sting the back of my eyes are the result of mutual pleasure and not from being triggered by too many built up emotions. No. The only emotion I feel now is extreme euphoria  thanks to my affection for Hoseok. The yearning, the adulation, the complete infatuation I have with him. I look up through teary eyes at his angelic, gyrating form.

“Goddamn.” He groaned. “Such a dirty girl, looking at me like that while I fuck your little throat.” I moan around him and nod in agreeance as well as I could.

“You like that? Nngh...huh, baby?” He questioned as he forces my head down on his cock, my nose nuzzling his pubic hair. I gag trying to still manage a nod, my nails scratching at his thighs. He suddenly pulls my head back up by my hair, not giving me time to breathe as he captures my lips with his. Wetness pools in my underwear when he pulls my hair roughly to break the kiss.

“I almost came so hard down your throat just now.” He said heatedly, almost as out of breath as me. I whimper at the husky drawl of his voice and his fucked out gaze staring me down like he’s about to wreck me. “No, I got somewhere else I want it to go.” He looks me up and down, likcing his lips like he would tear me apart piece by piece any second now. And I was patiently awaiting that moment between his legs, loving the anticipation of it all.

“Where is that?” I rasped seductively, stroking his spit covered cock with both hands. He threw his head back quickly and regarded me cooly, almost scolding me for my actions with his eyes.

“Get on the bed.” He ordered, ignoring my question completely. I wanted to disobey, to rebel just to see what he would do. But my lust for him controlled me, forced me to rush to the top of the bed and remove the rest of my clothing at lightning speed. He just turned around and crept towards me slowly.

His hands glided along my legs smoothly, parting them further to make room for his glorious, naked body in between. He licked pleasant patterns into my thighs, moving deeper towards my incredibly wet core. He sucked one lip into his mouth before he spoke.

“Is this what you want?” I nodded eagerly. “What you barged in here demanding?” He cocks his head to the side and smirks a if to reprimand me.

“Yes.” I utter, guiltily.

“Not so bold now. Hm.” He sucks my other pussy lip into his mouth and pinches my thigh causing me to gasp.

“You know, dirty girls don’t usually deserve to get their pussy eaten. Do you?” He licks a swift stripe straight up my slit, slowing down once he reaches my clit. My breath hitches and I feel myself getting wetter at the filthy words falling from his mouth.

“Yes.” I breathed immediately. “Please eat my pussy, Hoseok. I need you, I need your mouth, making me feel good...you always make me feel so good, Hobi, please.” I pleaded, gyrating my hips into nothing in front of his face, just looking for some kind of relief and I was so close.

Hoseok seemed pleased with this performance and swoops down to flick his tongue against my clit at a vicious speed, making me throw my head back into the bed and wrap my legs around his head. He invites the gesture, dipping lower to take the bud into his mouth and attacking it that way as he held my thighs down.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Hoseok! Argh-oh my-yes!” I cried out helplessly, letting the immense pleasure take me away, his hair now in my vice grip. “Your fingers.” I blurted out, on the edge, my climax in sight. “Please give me your fingers.”

He didn’t hesitate to give me what I asked for, plunging two fingers into me and curling them forward to hit that spot that made my legs shake.

“Ah! Yes...I’m gonna cum.” I announce, the feeling of earth shattering pleasure fast approaching. Until Hoseok stopped what he was doing.

“What the fuck?” I whipped my head to look down at him and before I have time to register what’s happening, his cock was sinking into my heat and his hips were snapping into mine.

“Awk! Nnnnngh, fuck!”

I immediately fell off the edge, my body jerked as Hoseok’s dick collided with my g-spot, igniting violent explosions in the pit of my belly. My eyes cross and my vision goes blurry as I spasm against the sheets, focusing on the breathtaking pulsing of my hole around his cock. I arched my back into his chest and reach for anything to hold onto. Finding his neck, I wrapped my fingers around it and squeezed.

“Oh, shhhhit...that’s it baby, cum on my cock, just like that. So fucking good baby girl.” He growls into my ear, his gravelly voice sending vibrations through my fingers around his neck, causing warm electricity to course through my body. I gurggled mindlessly and subconsciously squeeze his cock at the erotic words.

He continues fucking into my lifeless body at a steady pace, breathing life into it with every thrust. My body recovers from before, but is inviting more overstimulating pleasure from Hoseok’s efforts to cum himself. So, I gather the energy to get him there.

I finally release my hold on his neck and grip his face to look me in the eyes. He gulps for air, still slamming into me steadily. “You fuck me so good, Hoseok. You made me cum so hard, baby. Only you.” Hoseok grunts, heavily. His thrusts becoming harder and faster, burying his dick inside me, staring into my eyes sensually.

“I can feel you pulsing inside me, ready to blow.” I purr, caressing his arms as they work and flex to propel him forward into me. He abruptly takes my legs to hike them over his shoulders, his dick delving deeper into me, creating a new delicious angle that has both of us moaning like mad.

“Holy mutherfuckingshit, you’re gonna make me cum again, fuck.” I spew, not being able to hold back with another intense orgasm barreling towards me.

“Can I cum in you baby?” He pants, his hips sputtering with how close he was to finishing.

“You can do whatever the fuck you want-uugh! Mother of fuck! No one’s ever fucked me like you do. I swear I could fuck you for the rest of my life. Oh my fucking God, I want you forever.” I whimpered, so fucking close to that white light.

“Argh, fuck!” He cums into me with so much force, I’m sent flying through time and space, frozen in this one moment dissolving into pure euphoria forever. I let out a shriek, my tense, jerking body unable to contain the pleasure coursing through it.

Hoseok collapsed onto me briefly, catching my lips in a passionate kiss before giving me room to drop my legs back down onto the bed. We couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves afterwards, neither of our mouths wanting to leave the other’s body. Moments later he pulled away from me and looked me over thoughtfully.

“What?” I whisper, the silence in the room making itself known now. He doesn’t answer immediately, still weighing whatever it was.

“Nothing.” He decides and places the covers over us, cuddling me. “We’re talking about that in the morning.” He points to the new bruise on my arm that Darren created and closed his eyes while I tried to formulate an excuse for what happened.

++++++++++++

I woke up to Hoseok tracing light patterns into the skin of my shoulder from behind me. I could feel his eyes on me, but not in a creepy way. I turn to lie on my back and regard his beautiful face with appreciation.

“Good morning.” He said, now tracing patterns on my sheet clad stomach on his side and resting on his head in his hand. His eyes were focused on what he was doing, almost like they were distracting him from something else.

“Morning.” I replied, studying his face. He looked deep in thought, his brows slightly furrowed and his lip tucked itself under his teeth as he thought of his next words.

He opened his mouth to speak, pausing in even more thought before he found the words. “Last night was very fun for me, but...what exactly happened?”

Jeez, so soon?

I too, distracted myself with his movement on my body as I tried to figure out what to say.

“What made you come over here...like that?” He wondered, concerned.

I sigh. “Uh, at the gig yesterday...Darren, he…” Hoseok’s movements stop momentarily at the mention of my guy friend/roadie and then continue again. I glance up at his face that was now filled with malice. A look that didn’t look good on his angelic features. “What did he do?” He whispered sternly.

I swallow nervously. “He...he told me he loved me.” I force out in a small voice. The words sounded so foreign coming from my mouth, a person who doesn’t even deserve love. It was like I was finally coming to terms with it after running from it since it happened.

Hoseok’s movements stopped again and his hand lifted off of my body by millimeters, in shock. He rested his hand on the bed and I look up at him to see his reaction. His face is disgruntled and conflicted. I can just see the gears turning in his head.

“And do you...do you feel anything for him?” He spoke, not meeting my eyes.

“No.” I say immediately. “Of course not...not in that way. Not when I have you, how could you even think that?” I asked incredulously, grabbing his hand and placing our joined hands on my stomach.

He just shrugs, his bothered expression gone. “Because he’s built, good looking and you could have anyone you want.” He forces a laugh.

I lift my hand to stroke his soft cheek. “Well I want you so none of that matters.” He finally looked into my eyes and smiled genuinely, swooping down to kiss me firmly. “And for the record, you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever met.” I say when we part. He blushed slightly and smiled wider in thanks.

“So that’s why you came all the way here so...excuse my French, out of it? And what happened to your arm?”

“Yes. I didn’t exactly react too well when he told me...I tried to leave, but...he held onto my arm to keep me there.” I relay calmly, analyzing the bruise that’s only gotten worse since last night. Hoseok’s look of animosity was back.

“He did this? What a fucking asshole! Who does he think he is?” Hoseok spewed a few more insults before I climbed my way on top of him. He was now on his back, my hands on his bare chest not caring to toy with the sheet that fell from mine.

“Hey, forget about him. The bouncer took care of him...I think. He just got a little passionate, we were drinking and hey, I’m fine.” I smile to convince him.

“But he hurt you and you’re okay with it?” Hoseok asked hesitantly.

“I didn’t say I was okay with it, he and I will have words, but I am fine.” I leaned down to kiss him. My lips moved against his and his hands reacted by gripping my butt. I let go after a few moments. “And I would like if we stopped talking about this for a while.” I request, giving my best puppy dog eyes.

“Okay, fine.” He relented, stroking my face with his hands and staring into my eyes. “May I ask one more hard hitting question, though?” His profound features didn’t match his joking tone, I had no idea what to expect.

“Go for it.”

“Did you mean it? What you said last night? About...forever?” His eyes were intense with curiosity, like he had everything riding on this. I do some quick thinking of my own. Hoseok is everything I’ve ever wanted in a man, that much is obvious. And as much as I say I have trouble with commitment and intimacy, I’ve already committed myself to Hoseok. We weren’t seeing anyone else, nor did we want to, plus we were infatuated with each other. I can’t ignore this fact. Even though I have some issues that needed work, that doesn’t mean I have to let it hold me back from life.

“Yes...I don’t know about forever, no one does, but...” I answer, honestly. I watch him smile brightly in front of me, basking in his warm glow. “I wanna be with you, Hoseok.” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“You are with me.” He grabs my hand and squeezes.

“Like be with you, be with you.” I thread our fingers together in the air, gazing into his beautiful brown eyes.

“But I thought you said you didn’t want to...you know...labels?” There it was, that look of hopeful curiosity that Hoseok wore best and that always made me grin.

“I know, I know...I’m just done with letting my issues control me.” He smiles proudly, resting a hand on my cheek and stroking, gently. “So, Hoseok, if you’ll have me, I would love to be your...your g-girlfriend.” I fought back the bile building up with the sound of Hoseok’s comforting laughter. He grasps my cheeks and brings me down to his level, putting our foreheads together fervently.

“I think I’m supposed to ask you that.” He laughed.

“Well, when you do, I’ll say yes. Easy as that.”

He nods happily. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you pushing yourself too far.”

I shake my head. “It’s the only way I’ll learn...and I wanna learn with you.”

Hoseok regarded me with a look of longing in his eyes and kissed me once again with so much emotion, it spread warmth throughout my entire body and tendrils of electricity to the tips of my fingers and toes. “Okay....okay.”

The two of us lay there whispering sweet nothings until I heard my phone buzzing from across the room and I sigh, figuring it was time to stop ignoring my friends. Hoseok properly stretches and I dangle my body off the side of the bed to reach for my phone and check my messages.

Several calls and texts from each of the girls riddled my screen, but I was surprised to find no messages or calls from Darren. I settle back into bed and Hoseok attaches himself to me again as I call Leyah back to check in.

“Char, hey, are you okay?” She picks up right away and her troubled voice filled my ears.

“Yes, Leyah, I’m fine.”

She sighs in relief. “So I can assume you’re with J-Hope right now?”

“Yes, I’m at Jay’s right now.”

“Okay, well, you might want to get back soon.” She said nervously.

“Why is that?” My skeptical tone caused Hoseok’s eyes to pop open in intrigue.

“Uh, Darren kinda got arrested last night after you left and we’re gonna go bail him out.”

I rolled my eyes and rubbed a hand around my face in annoyance. Well that explains the lack of messages. “No, you all can go bail him out, I’m going to stay here.” I say sternly. Hoseok moved to rest on his elbows beside me, studying my stressed out face.

“Are you sure? He mentioned wanting to see you.”

“I could give a fuck what he wants right now.” I spat. She just sighed. “Okay. I guess I’ll see you...later then.” She said dejectedly. I groan, hoping I don’t regret what I’m about to do. Her depressed tone shot right through me.

I know Leyah just the best for her friends and for me to just stop hiding and get this over with, so I figured I’d do her a favor.

“Wait, Leyah...I’ll go. I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay. See you then. Thank you.” We hung up and I ran my fingers through my hair roughly.

“Is everything okay?” Hoseok asked rubbing my arm comfortingly.

“No.” I answer easily, knowing the truth. “But I have to go. I’m just gonna take a shower first if that okay?”

“Yeah of course. Is it okay if I join you?” I just pecked his lips and nodded.

The shower was quick seeing as I had somewhere to be and I threw on a white t-shirt, black skinny jeans and the Doc Martens I wore last night.

On our way out, I see the glass on the nightstand from yesterday in the same place that I left it and decided to clean it up. Hoseok continues to gather his things in the bedroom as I make my way to the kitchen. I stop in my tracks when I see a familiar figure standing at the counter with his back to me. His height, shoulders, back muscles and even his hair (that was now a tinted, dark red) were all very visceral, creating flashes of so many memories in my brain.

My heart rate accelerates and my world begins to spin when the stranger finally turns around and I find that he’s no stranger at all.

His gorgeous face scrunches up in confusion and complete awe at the sight of me. “Charlotte?” His rugged yet celestial voice traveled over to me, sending a sinister chill down my spine.

“Yoongi?” I whisper brokenly.

“Oh, Yoongi hyung, you’re back!” I straighten up and blink away the blurriness in my eyes at the sound of Hoseok’s voice behind me.

“Charlotte, I see you’ve met  my temporary room mate, Yoongi. Yoongi this is my girlfriend, Charlotte.”

My heart leapt into my throat as the glass I was holding clattered to the floor, exploding into pieces.

[fics-and-such]

Valentines Day

(This is for you, anon! I dunno what I’m gonna call this ship, but for now... Dake? Yeah, sure, we’ll go with that. I know it looks really short, but this is a 4 page google doc.)

Valentines day. The day of love, as most people would say. Well, for Dustin Kropp, it was the day of nervously sitting in his seat during his last class of the day and bouncing his knee, waiting for Jake Dillinger to come into class. Dustin had a huge crush on the alpha, and he never told his friend group, but he’s pretty sure they already knew. The skirt-clad boy had stood up all night prior, making a valentine for Jake. Was he gonna give it to Jake? Yes, but no. Dustin had a plan. He gave the valentines card, perfectly made and garnished with a rose and a small, heart-shaped box of chocolates, to his favorite teacher, Ms. Jane. Dustin and Ms. Jane would talk often after class and she would help him with issues. She used to be the school guidance counselor, but they needed more teachers, so she volunteered to teach English. She already had a degree, so she was set for the job.

Anyways, Ms. Jane knew about how Dustin was gay, and about his crush on Jake. She was basically his best friend. He knew he could trust her. He never really had an adult figure in his life he knew he could trust, so when he met Ms. Jane, it was practically destiny that they’d become friends. Ms. Jane had even taken Dustin shopping to get him some more girly clothes, since he was a femme gay and he liked looking pretty. Dustin’s parents were very close-minded and didn’t like anyone or anything that had to do with the LGBTQ+ community, so Dustin was glad he had a second mother at school who loved him and cared for him. That’s not to say that Dustin’s biological parents didn’t care for him, no, they loved him to bits, but they loved the fake him, while Ms. Jane loved the real him.

Ms. Jane would hide the girl clothes for him in her supplies closet, and would let Dustin choose an outfit at the beginning of each day  and escort him to the locker rooms to change. Dustin walked to school extra early to do this. Ms. Jane even encouraged him to try out for cheerleading. Not only did Dustin make the team, he became the captain of the team!

Because of everything Ms. Jane has done for Dustin, of course he would trust her with the task of giving Jake the valentine. The plan was: Ms. Jane would stop Jake before he sat down, and would hand him the valentine and say it was from a secret special anonymous omega that really appreciated him, and then she would tell Dustin all about Jake’s reaction at the end of class. Dustin had thought through every scenario until he came up with this plan, and was really proud of himself for finding one with minimum bad outcomes.

Dustin kept his eye on the door, looking down at his desk and peeking through his long hair to see the door, so it didn’t look like he was staring. That’s when he sees Jake Dillinger, and all his tall glory wall through the door. Dustin’s heart skips a beat as Ms. Jane softly calls Jake over to her desk and hands him the valentines with a smile on her face, showing off her bright white teeth as usual. Dustin is so glad he looked up just in time to see Jake walking past him with a huge smile on his face. Bigger than his generic Jake Dillinger Grin™, and that made Dustin so proud of himself. He smiled at Ms. Jane and continued working on his worksheet, his adrenaline still running a million miles a second.

After class, Dustin strolled up to Ms. Jane’s desk with a small smile on his face, “What’d he think?” The short (4”3 ft.) omega asked his teacher, who was a beta. “He knew it was you,” Ms. Jane replied, causing Dustin’s stomach to drop, and his face to turn a bright red, “Wh-What?!” He stuttered out, covering his face with his hands. “When I gave it to him, he said he could tell it was from you because of your handwriting, also… your scent.” Dustin’s head was spinning, he was freaking out. His crush of 2 years knows that he likes him, and it made him smile?! ‘What is going on?!’ The small omega wondered, being snapped out of his thoughts, quite literally, by Ms. Jane snapping her fingers in front of his face, “Oh, hush, Dusty! It’s alright, hun! He wanted me to give you this,” She says, handing Dustin a sticky note, clearly taken from Ms. Jane’s pad, that had Jake’s phone number scribbled onto it, with a small note in the corner, “It’s cute how oblivious you are.”

Reading the note made Dustin’s face even redder, and he literally fell over, landing in a cross-legged sitting position. Ms. Jane chuckled at him, and offered him a hand, but he refused. “Dustin, this is a good thing! You’ve liked him since forever, and now you know that you have a chance! Why don’t you text him tonight and start a conversation, see what happens, huh?”

“Because my parents go through my phone. They’ll figure it out. I can’t have that.” Ms. Jane sighs and opens her drawer, pulling out her cell phone, “Here, kiddo, use my phone, alright? Just… don’t break it. I don’t really use it for much anyways.” She says with a soft, reassuring smile. Dustin’s eyes widen, “Wait, really?” He asks, pinching himself to make sure he’s not dreaming. Out of all the things Ms. Jane has done for him, this has to be the most noteworthy. Ms. Jane nods softly, causing Dustin to spring up from his seat on the floor and hug her tightly, “Thank you so much, this means so much to me, Em.”

The entire walk home, Dustin spends texting Jake. He’s smiling and he feels safe talking to Jake. He doesn’t feel nervous anymore, like he did at first, and he’s having a normal conversation with him. About cats. Jake absolutely adores cats, and he owns 4. Their names are Peanut, Butter, Jelly, and Sammich. Dustin finds it adorable how he named them like that. Right before Dustin gets inside, he stuffs Ms. Jane’s phone into the pocket of his cargo pants, which, by the way, he finds ugly as hell. He hates that the only safe place to wear the clothes he feels comfy in is at school, but it’s fine. At least he doesn’t have to face the wrath of his parents if he wears the ugly clothes.

His dad stops him at the door, holding his hand out, “You know the rules.” he says, and Dustin reaches into his backpack and hands his dad his phone. Dustin races upstairs and pulls out Ms. Jane’s phone, finishing his conversation with Jake, before turning it off and stashing it under his pillow. He hears a knock on his bedroom door, and his mother comes in with his phone in her hand, “Here you go honey bunch! Don’t forget to turn it in at 7:30 tonight. Also, dinner will be ready in around 20 minutes, and you seem like you need it. You look so frail! Have you been eating at school?” Dustin’s worried mother asks, inspecting Dustin’s figure, “Yes, mom. I just have a quick metabolism, don’t worry. I’m alright. I promise you that I’m eating enough.” Dustin assures his mother with a smile, receiving a kiss on the forehead from her. “You’re just getting shorter every day, aren’t you?” She jokes, “Oh, I’m only messing with you. I’ll leave you alone now, I have a casserole to tend to.” She said, waltzing out of the room.

Dustin sighs and goes into his closet and flops onto the bean bag chair he has inside there, locking his closet door. He’s been told multiple times he’s not allowed to do this, but he doesn’t care. He has to. He needs the alone time. He closes his eyes and lays back, taking a mental break. Today has been an emotional roller coaster, and he needs some time to recuperate before going on another ride. Dustin takes a deep breath and smiles, thinking about how Jake wanted to see him again. He wanted to go on a date with Dustin! The thought of that made Dustin so happy. He opened his eyes again when he heard his mom calling for him to come eat dinner. Had 20 minutes really gone by so fast? Regardless, he got up and went downstairs and sat at the table, going through the motions of the prayer and then dug in, only managing to eat half of the plate of food. His mother seemed worried, but she didn’t say anything about it, letting him go upstairs, “Remember, Dusty! 2 hours and you bring the phone down here!” She shouted up at him.

Dustin grabbed Ms. Jane’s phone and hid it in a sock in his sock drawer, burying it further in the back so it can’t be easily seen. He goes ahead and brings his phone downstairs early to earn a few brownie points with his dad, not only that, but he was exhausted and needed sleep. He covered himself up and smiled to himself, rethinking the days events. This is the best Valentines day he’s had in a while.