#what ho jeeves

[cantsayidont]

Video Killed the Radio Star

If you don't already feel sufficiently alienated from the culture of your generation, consider getting into old time radio. It's pretty easy to do: Radio was mainstream media from the 1930s well into the 1950s, and it hung on for quite a while after it started losing ground to television. There's a huge amount of programming in various genres, and a surprising amount of it survives; there was a cottage industry in OTR cassettes and CDs for many years, a lot of shows can be found in MP3 format without much effort, and some of it pops up regularly on streaming platforms.

The easiest way to get into it is if you're already got a fondness for some older Hollywood star: If they were a movie star between 1930 and 1960, there's a good chance they guest-starred in various radio shows, and they might even have had their own show for a while. For instance, do you like Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall? Around 1950, they had their own syndicated radio adventure series, BOLD VENTURE, which was essentially an extended riff on their characters in the 1944 film version of TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT. Orson Welles, of course, was a big radio star, playing the lead on THE SHADOW in 1937–38 and then bringing his Mercury Theatre company to a number of different one-hour and half-hour radio series. Vincent Price starred for several seasons as Leslie Charteris's Simon Templar on THE SAINT. And almost everyone who was anyone showed up now and again on SUSPENSE or LUX RADIO THEATRE (which produced all-star one-hour adaptations of popular movies). If you're a Superman or Sherlock Holmes fan, the radio versions of those characters are a must — Holmes was a perennial presence on English-language radio for decades.

If you want something more modern, the British kept producing generally high-quality radio dramas in surprising volume until relatively recently, including a range of both adaptations and originals. Unlike American radio, the survival rate for older British programs from the '40s and '50s is poor, but the BBC has continued periodically airing its better material from the '70s through the '00s, a lot of which has been offered on cassette and CD. For instance, there were excellent BBC radio series dramatizing the Wodehouse Jeeves and Wooster stories (with Michael Hordern and Richard Briers); Dorothy L. Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey series (with Ian Carmichael); and Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot mysteries (with John Moffat), along with standalone plays on programs like SATURDAY-NIGHT THEATRE. The big limitation with British radio dramas is that the number of British radio actors who can do convincing American accents is not high (and is definitely lower than the number who mistakenly think they can), and the availability of American actors who know how to act for radio is clearly even more limited, which can become a grating problem when dramatizing American material.

One of the reasons that listening to older (and/or British) radio shows will contribute to your cultural alienation is that it will make a lot of modern dramatic podcast series and audio dramatizations excruciating, because it will reveal to you how bad a lot of modern audio dramatists and performers are at this once commonplace art. (If you are or are contemplating doing a dramatic podcast or audio drama, please, for the love of dog, make a close study of radio shows created before you were born, and diversify enough to recognize the mediocrity of hacks like Dirk Maggs, who's been stinking up audio drama on two continents for four decades now.)

[ineffablesheets]

Bertie, after one of Jeeves' brilliant saves: Jeeves, you’re wasted as a valet. You should run the country!

Jeeves: A kind sentiment, sir. However, I find the management of your affairs quite sufficient.

[dathen]

I don’t know if I ever told you about it, but the reason why I left England was because I was sent over by my Aunt Agatha to try to stop young Gussie marrying a girl on the vaudeville stage, and I got the whole thing so mixed up that I decided that it would be a sound scheme for me to stop on in America for a bit instead of going back and having long cosy chats about the thing with aunt. So I sent Jeeves out to find a decent apartment, and settled down for a bit of exile.

Bertie failing the mission from his aunt and then just going “¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I guess I live here now” is HYSTERICAL. can’t dare to be in the same hemisphere as the Scary Aunt

[what-ho-internet]

My dear Mr. Wooster,

In a previous correspondence you asked if the phrase “do it jiggle” was a command. If in fact it were a command, would you jiggle your posterior (your gluteus maximus) for the viewing pleasure of all your fans here on tumblr. Would Jeeves jiggle for us? I am eagerly awaiting your reply.

Best!

Beetle-goth

My dear Beetle-goth (do you mean as-in Visigoth or a beetle overfond of eye-makeup? I am enormously curious,)

I shall give you the answer you ask for as it is my due diligence: I daresay, buy a fellow dinner first! I would need some incentive were I to jiggle my posterior, even for my fine loyal viewership. I am reluctant to say that on so public a platform any incentive may be enough. If only there were perhaps a private platform on which you might access –but I digress. I shall not, much as I regret to disappoint. 

I have asked Jeeves. He does not let much slip past that calm exterior but this did encourage just a little disdain about the eyebrows. Nonetheless, I feel that the young master’s smile has somewhat encouraged him to answer. ‘Certainly not in the public eye sir,’ he said, ‘Though I cannot say definitively I would not for love nor money.’

There we have it. Do with this information what you will.

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

The man Jeeves works for in Ring For Jeeves is just What If Bertie Wooster Were Heterosexual. Jeeves has a Type

[deweydecimalduck]

I can't believe what I just found on YouTube

[incohorace]

it turns out rereading the inimitable jeeves and highlighting all of bertie’s little mannerisms (so that my book which i’m setting in the 20s sounds 20s enough) may not be the best idea because half of said mannerisms are now going to be absorbed into my everyday speech…

[canon-in-too-deep]

50 Free Typesets

New achievement unlocked! I now have 50 public domain books/typesets available for FREE in my library! 🥳 Above is a collage of all 50 title pages.

What does this mean? It means that these classic books have been typeset (typographic, book design, layout work done), and are ready as pdfs that can be used to read, print out, book bind, or burn at your pleasure! (Just keep it to personal use only!)

The full list (with page sizes now noted) of all 50 books available can be found here on my tumblrary directory/masterlist (which will update as I add more), and below the break of this post!

Please please feel free to request access to my library (aka, yee good ol' googly drive). I usually respond within 24 hours, and they are indeed free! Just leave credit if you use, and consider liking/reblogging!

Also, if you find any errors in the files, let me know! I made these in Affinity, not with an AI program, and typos are natural spawns XD

From Frankenstein to Pride and Prejudice, to Sherlock Holmes to a dude that wakes up as a bug, I've been honored to be able to typeset these books and share them with all of you.

A part of me wants to ramble on about the behind the scenes and my continuing personal journey of amateur typesetting...but I think the most important thing I can say is simply thank you! to everyone that's stopped by! So thank you all! (And should I try for 100? 🤔 Hmmm...)

Warning! Wall of text below the break!

All 50 typesets available (some have alternate versions in library):

Persuasion by Jane Austen (Letter Folio)

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (Letter Quarto)

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (Letter Folio)

The Merry Adventures of Robinhood by Howard Pyle (Illustrated) (Letter Folio)

Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie (Letter Folio)

Dracula by Bram Stoker (Letter Folio)

The Call of Cthulhu by H. P. Lovecraft (Letter Quarto)

The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde (Letter Folio)

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle (Illustrated) (Letter Folio)

The Invisible Man by H. G. Wells (Letter Folio)

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (Letter Folio)

The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare (Letter Folio)

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde (Letter Folio)

The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri (Illustrated) (Letter Folio)

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (Illustrated) (Letter Folio)

The Odyssey by Homer (Letter Folio)

Tales of Space and Time by H. G. Wells (Letter Folio)

The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton (Letter Folio)

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens (Illustrated) (Letter Folio)

The Book of Dragons by E. Nesbit (Illustrated) (Letter Folio)

Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare (Letter Folio)

Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea by Jules Verne (Illustrated) (Letter Folio)

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky (Letter Folio)

Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne (Letter Folio)

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (Illustrated) (Letter Folio)

Leave it to Psmith by P. G. Wodehouse (Letter Folio)

Lord Peter views the body by Dorothy L. Sayers (Letter Folio)

The Room in the Tower by E. F. Benson (Letter Folio)

Right Ho, Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse (Letter Folio)

The Time Machine by H. G. Wells (Letter Folio)

Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka (Letter Quarto)

Poirot Investigates by Agatha Christie (Letter Folio)

Grimms' Fairy Tales by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm (Letter Folio)

The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux (Letter Folio)

Andersen's Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Andersen (Letter Folio)

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving (Letter Quarto)

Shakespeare's Sonnets by William Shakespeare (Letter Folio)

The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe (Illustrated) (Letter Octavo)

Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery (Letter Folio)

A Journey to the Centre of the Earth by Jules Verne (Letter Folio)

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen (Letter Folio)

Notre-Dame de Paris by Victor Hugo (Letter Folio)

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (Letter Folio)

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Letter Folio)

The Blue Fairy Book (Font Sampler Edition) edited by Andrew Lang (Letter Folio)

A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs (Letter Folio)

Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott (Illustrated) (Letter Folio)

The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie (Letter Folio)

Emma by Jane Austen (Letter Folio)

Paradise Lost by John Milton (Letter Folio)

[cfffrk]

@weast-of-eden BROO!!!!😭😭

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO WROTE SUCH GREAT FANFICS!!!!

I found “What Ho, Wooster” on May 24th when I decided to read some short fanfic in English

At that time it didn't have a note that it was based a little bit on my reverse!au sketches, so I was upset that like

oh

people get the same ideas as me

I'm so unoriginal🥀🥀🥲

Like, that fanfic is literally the cutest thing I've read in a while, especially the end where Jeeves decides to wear that ugly tie to thank Wooster!!!! It's adorable really!!!✨️✨️

And then recently I was browsing on tumblr and I saw your link to the second fanfic in this collection-

AND THAT'S HOW I KNEW YOU ARE THE AUTHOR!!!✨️✨️

AND THEN I SAW THAT NOTE IN THE “What Ho, Wooster”!!!1!

BRO I'M JUST---

I LOVE YOU BRO!!!!!!!💝💗💝💓💝💓💞💝💝💓💘

I WOULD LIKE TO READ MORE FANFICS LIKE THIS, YOU DESCRIBE THEIR CHARACTER AND RELATIONSHIP PERFECTLY IN REVERSE!!!!!❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56311507

[sandwichsapphic]

this is a wee bit old now but what ho what ho heres a sketchy thing for carry on jeeves!! ie jeeves takes charge cause thats when bertie wears the godawful yellow suit

idk what the yellow suit looks like in the show i hope its TERRIBLE i hope it literally breaks the camera with how eyestraining it is

[lettersregardingjeeves]

Letters Regarding Jeeves Is Now Live!

What ho, general public! In the vein of Letters From Watson, which sends you the Sherlock Holmes stories, and Letters From Bunny, which sends you the A. J. Raffles stories, I've started up a Substack that will do the very same! Starting February 14th, 2024, Letters Regarding Jeeves will send all the public domain Jeeves stories by P. G. Wodehouse to your email inbox in comfortable slices, with a bit of flavor text added by your good pal Bertie Wooster. And you can now officially subscribe!

If there's anything you'd like to know not covered by the on-site About page, then feel free to send an ask to this Tumblr, where it will be quickly answered by Mr. Wooster's secretary, A. C. (that's me!). Cheerio for now!

[ineffablesheets]

Oh nothing just soldiers and their super model boyfriends

[what-ho-internet]

Dear Bertie,

I am absolutely dotty for a girl I met at the races just two weeks ago. I met her father last week and he’s bally excited for our future engagement — although not as much as I.

I, however, need your help. Upon speaking to her tete and tete only yesterday, she took umbrage with my suggestion that, were we to wed, she should wear a black dress to match with my own soup and fish (which shall, no doubt, be a black affair).

Is it so wrong to hope for a co-ordinated wedding? Help!

Ah! A gentleman who speaks my language. Hullo, old fruit, and know that you have asked advice of the finest possible quality.

I am extraordinarily glad to hear of your engagement to this girl, and her father’s willing blessing –trust a fellow avec experience, this will make the pill go down far easier, so to speak. 

Now, my rummy friend, for the problem. I do not consider your hope for a co-ordinated wedding so much a cardinal sin as peccadillo. However, your wish for the bride to wear black, I fear, has given Jeeves heartburn. I have had to fetch him bicarbonate of soda in order to calm his stomach. (He is not a cove physically oversensitive, but when it comds to what he considers crimes against tradition –especially those involving fashion– he can be quite overwrought.) I find that although it is a minor crime, I must agree that it would be quite unusual and –if you allow me to be frank– entirely unnecessary.

The boone you have craved from us here at the Wooster household is thus a resounding wish that you will allow your wife’s word to be final in this instance. I am all for a little break with tradition –Jeeves is not– but upon this, we must agree. If you will not take this from a man with so much of his heart in fashion as Jeeves, then perhaps you will from me –being one of the Cognoscenti who has been (un)fortunate enough to anticipate many weddings without any coming to harvest.

I have asservate-d thus, but do nevertheless wish you the best upon your nuptials. Perhaps at the races I shall spot you and your girl as dark spots amidst the glittering crowd!

P.S Jeeves did not find this very funny.

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

February 13, or as I like to call it, Letters Regarding Jeeves Eve,

[dathen]

“All right, Jeeves. Monte Carlo ho, then.”

“Very good, sir.”

“It’s lucky, as things have turned out, that you forgot to cancel that booking.”

“Very fortunate indeed, sir.”

AND THE GAY LITTLE GAMBLING TRIP IS BACK ON THE MENU

The number of birds Jeeves managed to kill with one stone is truly remarkable. Showing Bertie Bobbie’s true colors, undermining Aunt Agatha’s scheme to push Bertie and Honoria back together, sabotaging Tuppy’s prank, teaching Bertie a lesson about cancelling their vacations, and orchestrating the escape to said vacation all in one night! Preventing two engagements in one swing has to be a new record.

I have to pity whoever ends up at a gambling table with him at Monte Carlo because you KNOW this bitch doesn’t play fair to get what he wants.

[powerupcomicstonight]

More Woosterposting

“You!” growled the diminutive aggressor, eyeing me as a graphic designer might regard a client who’s taken his work and swapped Comic Sans in for all the fonts. “So this is the degenerate manchild with designs on corrupting my innocent daughter!”

This took me squarely aback. I had not expected to cherish Sir Watkyn Bassett’s company, strictly speaking, but it had not occurred to me that the old patriarch might go aggro at the very sight of me.

“What-ho, Sir Watkyn!” I replied with a bright situation-diffusing smile. “So this is the kindly old bean who Madeline’s always praising to the high heavens!”

“Don’t what-ho me, Wooster!” Sir Watkyn snapped. “I’ve seen your videos, you know! You are a violent and lawless young man! I shudder to contemplate the irreparable fissures in the moral foundation of an individual who would award a score of 9.5 to a video game which allows the player to simulate, of all unsavory acts, stealing a policeman’s uniform!”

It would be a stretch to say that the pieces were falling into place, but there were pieces, and they were working their way clumsily down the y-axis. Madeline’s old ancestor had evidently vetted my Youtube channel, and found something that disagreed with his aged sensibilities.

“I’m sorry, Sir Watykn. Are you referring to my Grand Theft Auto review?”

“So, he admits it!” Cried Sir Watkyn of the Bassets in triumph.

“And that bit about stealing policemen’s uniforms, was that really the worst thing you saw me do in that game?”

“I had no appetite for further demonstrations of anarchy and mayhem,” he declared firmly. “I can readily imagine that this so-called game allowed you to escalate the situation to still higher levels of hooliganism, perhaps by vandalizing a police vehicle, or even shooting out the windows of a police station. What I saw made me feel sick, and I was forced to stop the video.”

...

I located Jeeves in a quiet corner of Sir Waykyn’s library, serenely editing Wikipedia on his laptop.

“It’s worse than I thought, Jeeves," I announced. "Sinister, in fact. I’ve broken bread with Sir Watkyn Bassett, and it’s come to light that he’s the boomer who reported my Youtube channel.”

“Would this be the excitable party whose censure resulted in the five-day suspension, sir?”

“The very same. I have taken damage, Jeeves. Bring me a whiskey-soda, and my new camouflage Crocs.”