#i am going to say ‘right-ho!’ at every given opportunity

[incohorace]

it turns out rereading the inimitable jeeves and highlighting all of bertie’s little mannerisms (so that my book which i’m setting in the 20s sounds 20s enough) may not be the best idea because half of said mannerisms are now going to be absorbed into my everyday speech…

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

Invisible Chapter 4

Summary: YN YLN has always been third in Class 2-5, right behind Lee Su Ho and Kang Soo Jin but with both of them having left Saebom Highschool, this is her time to shine. That is until Han Seosangnim asks her to tutor Han Seo Jun. A guy who doesn’t even know she existed.

Ship: Han Seo Jun x Female Reader.

Word Count: 3398 (I really can't write short chapters. Sorry I guess😂🤷🏽‍♀️😭)

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated with any reactions or whatever you want to say. Again I really don't know where I am going with this.

True Beauty Masterlist.

Chapter 3.

(I tried finding a gif of the class but couldn't so this will have to do)

Chapter 4:

As you and Seo Jun got to the bus stop. You finally dared to look back and saw that Hae Sung wasn’t behind you. You sighed and looked at Seo Jun, tapping his arm around your shoulders with your other hand.

Seo Jun quickly removed his arm from your shoulders and bumped shoulders with you, smirking at you. He sat down on the bench and motioned at you to sit next to him. Once you sat down next to him, you looked at him.

“Thanks for what you did and said back there, I really do not want to deal with Hae Sung right now” You thanked Seo Jun. Putting his arm around you and helping you to avoid talking to Hae Sung, was a relief. You’d almost forgotten about the argument with Hae Sung while tutoring Seo Jun, seeing him waiting outside, just hit you like a train with the memories of what he said.

“I don’t need an excuse to punch that idiot, just tell me now and Ill happily go and punch him” Seo Jun shrugged, then pointed at the bus approaching and stood up to get on the bus, looking at you, waiting for you to get up too.

You shook your head, Seo Jun looked confused but sat down again next to you.

“Uh, wasn’t that your bus? I don’t have my motorbike so how are you going to go home?” Seo Jun asked you.

“So, what I got out of that is, if you did have your bike, you would’ve given me a ride home,” You asked Seo Ju back laughing when he glared at you. After seeing his glare so much in the last few days, you were growing immune to it. At least you were starting to differentiate between the types of glares Seo Jun had.

“I don’t know how you know what bus I usually get, you stalker but I’m going to Mi Soo Unnie’s apartment. Hae Sung is my neighbour and I know he’ll turn up at breakfast tomorrow morning, so the best way to avoid him is to go live with Unnie for the rest of the week”. Shaking your head, you take a breath after saying so much. What is it about Seo Jun that just makes you word vomit and ramble on, when you barely talk to anyone in your class but with him, you feel like talking about anything and everything.

Seo Jun looked at you sadly, he couldn’t imagine having to deal with Lee Hae Sung as a best friend. That was something coming from him when he had to deal with Lee Su Ho and his stupidity, then again both of them had been at fault for the rift in their friendship but it was all sorted now and he couldn’t be happier about the place he was in with Su Ho.

“YN your really going to avoid your own home just so you don’t have to deal with Lee Hae Sung also doesn’t that other bus go in an opposite direction of the school. That is some level of dedication to avoiding him.” Seo Jun couldn’t understand not going home just to avoid someone, he would miss his bed too much and if that person dared show up at his apartment, well they were definitely not going to be leaving with breakfast.

You smiled, he made a good point, the lengths you were going to were extreme. But this was needed, you needed to put some distance between you and Hae Sung. The things he said to you may not have been the worst stuff he’s spewed out in an argument, but this time it was making you rethink your entire friendship.

“It’ll be okay, Unnie was saying how Joon Oppa was on a business trip and she felt lonely in their apartment, I was going to stay with her this weekend anyway, now I’m just going a bit earlier and her apartment isn’t all that far away from school, I’ll still be on time Seo Jun don’t worry” You explained, As you finished speaking you saw the bus you needed and stood up, searching for your bus pass as you waited for the bus.

Seo Jun laughed at your reply, before tapping your shoulder and giving you your bus pass that had fallen to the ground in your search for it. You thanked him and got on the bus, you turned expecting Seo Jun to get on with you, but he just gave you a small smile and waved at you. You waved back and then found a seat on the bus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Choi Soo Ah looked at her classmates. She had managed to convince them all, to come into school extra early to discuss how they were going to deal with showing Lee Hae Sung that he was wrong about Class 2-5 and quite frankly YLN YN didn’t even need him in her life.

For some reason Kim Cho Rong and Song Si Woo were also there but considering that YN, Cho Rong and Song Si Woo were close, she allowed it. Even if the messages she had painstakingly forwarded to everyone explicitly stated that this was important Class 2-5 only business.

Although she should probably thank Cho Rong and Si Woo, for being the ones who had managed to get Han Seo Jun to come to this meeting. Though from what Ju Kyung had told her, maybe Seo Jun was starting to care for YN just a little more than he cared for the rest of Class 2-5.

Which was great for him, sure she shipped Seo Jun and Ju Kyung. But really, she just wanted Seo Jun to be happy and if he was happy with YLN YN then Soo Ah was going to give them every opportunity for that crush to turn into like then love.

“Look guys I know you're tired but we need to have a plan, after what Hae Sung said, there’s no way I’m okay with this friendship carrying on, YLN YN deserves better from a guy who claims to be her best friend” Soo Ah exclaimed loudly, she needed to get everyone up and roaring to go with ideas. Not tired and falling asleep on her right now.

“Can't we just help her to avoid him and that’s it, she’s already living with her sister to avoid Lee Hae Sung” Seo Jun complained, while he was all for making sure that YN didn’t cry over Lee Hae Sung again, he did not appreciate losing sleep to be surrounded by his annoying classmates to plan this.

“Omo, she’s living with Mi Soo Unnie, yah that’s so much more travelling for her. Ugh, the things Lee Hae Sung is making the poor girl do” Hyun Ji said, this whole situation made her angry. She liked to think of herself as YLN YNs best female friend and she had never liked Hae Sung to begin with.

That confused Seo Jun, was Hyun Ji wrong or did you lie to him yesterday. Even if she did lie, why was Seo Jun annoyed at that, you weren’t that close to him. Why should he expect you to not lie to him, and he understood her reasoning for lying but it still stung that she didn’t just tell him the truth. He knew that you probably only said that to him so that he didn’t complain more about Hae Sung being the reason that you were going to live with your sister.

Ju Kyung sighed. With what Hyun Ji said, everyone was suddenly awake now and we're all speaking over each other. This was not helping in the slightest. She locked eyes with Seo Jun and begged him with her eyes to do something to get everyone to be quiet.

Thankfully, Seo Jun understood Ju Kyung’s begging and very suddenly he banged his hand on his desk. That shocked everyone into silence, he motioned to Ju Kyung who smiled at him and started talking about what she thought would be a good way to go about this plan to get you to drop Hae Sung as a friend.

From there, it was a productive discussion, and everyone managed to agree on a plan. It was decided that the quicker they all started acting, the quicker you would drop Lee Hae Sung as your best friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were running to class. You had woken up at the normal time for school. Forgetting that you were living with Mi Soo Unnie and the journey from Unnie’s house to Saebom was over an hour longer than it was from your house.

Mi Soo Unnie offered to drive you to school, but it was her day off and you felt bad to make her leave the house just to drive you to school. Especially when you had dropped in on her randomly without even telling her.

You saw Han Ssaem leave the Teachers Room and that made you fear being late and so that gave you more reason to sprint to your class. You got to the class and stood at your desk panting, trying to catch your breath. You felt a tap on your shoulder and just waved it off, assuming it was Hyun Ji or someone else.

That same person cleared their throat and you looked at Hyun Ji’s desk and saw her pointing behind you, your eyes widened in shock. If Hyun Ji was sitting at her desk, then that meant….

You turned around and saw Han Ssaem looking at you expectantly. You smiled at Han Ssaem awkwardly before sitting down quickly and looked back at Han Ssaem after taking out your books.

Han Ssaem laughed at you and shook his head, he put his papers down and started with his announcements for the day. You let out a sigh of relief, thank goodness it was Han Ssaem and not Kim Seosangnim, she would’ve had your neck for being late and given you detention immediately.

The bell rang for the break and you stretched your arms. You wanted to take a walk, maybe go to the Shop but as you looked around the room, your eyes went to the door and there you saw Hae Sung standing there. You made brief eye contact, but you looked away from him pretty fast.

As you stood up, Hyun Ji came up to you and linked your arms with hers. She smiled and started to just take you with her outside from the back door, completely ignoring Hae Sung at the other door, on your way Hae Sung tried to interrupt Hyun Ji and talk to you but somehow every guy in Class 2-5 would get in his way and stop him. You didn’t know what was going on with your Class, but you were grateful to them for helping you to avoid Hae Sung.

Once you got to the Shop, you looked at Hyun Ji. She smiled and you two went to get the snacks you wanted.

“Ji, thanks for helping me avoid Hae Sung, I know you probably don’t know why I am avoiding him but I appreciate the help, I just cant talk to him right now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m thinking of blocking his number.” You told Hyun Ji as you guys were paying for your items. Saying thank you to the Ahjumma at the cashier, you started to take the long way back to class. Once you got back to the class, you were shocked to see everyone standing around your desk.

You went there and saw that there was a basket of imported European chocolates on your desk with a note on the basket. You didn’t even have to look to the door, to see Hae Sung waiting there to see your reaction to his apology gift. You took the note and didn’t even read it before ripping it up and throwing it into the bin. You took the basket and started opening it up and looked at Hyun Ji next to you.

“Hey Ji, want some imported chocolates?” you asked her casually, you knew that Hae Sung was still watching from the door and frankly you didn’t care. You wanted Hae Sung to give you time and wait for you to reach out to him, instead of waiting for you, he was trying to bribe you with gifts into forgiving him without actually apologising or even understanding why you were upset with him.

Hyun Ji didn’t say anything but just nodded her head, you took out some chocolate and shared it with her. Then you turned to Soo Ah behind you and offered chocolates to her, you looked at Ju Kyung who was staring at you in shock and offered chocolate to her as well. Then you stood up and went to the back of the class and put the basket on the short cabinets at the back then turned around to everyone staring at you.

“Everyone do not forget to thank Lee Hae Sung for these chocolates, it was nice of him to bring us these chocolates” You made eye contact with Hae Sung as you talked loudly enough for Hae Sung to hear what you were saying. He looked angry, you knew he was thinking of grabbing your arm and drag you out to shout at you, but you did not care in the slightest.

Before the rest of your class could attack the chocolates, you took a few and tapped Seo Jun on his shoulder, he had been napping, while you didn’t want to wake him up, however, this would be the icing on the cake and make Hae Sung even angrier.

He groaned and looked up at you holding chocolates, he blinked rapidly very confused as to why you were holding chocolates in your hands. You smiled at him and held the chocolates out to him, he looked at you and you nodded smiling, encouraging him to take these chocolates.

“Just wanted to thank you for waiting with me for the bus yesterday Seo Jun, also no tutoring today as I’ve got a book club meeting.” Again, you talked loud enough for Hae Sung to hear you and you laughed when you saw that he was going back to his classroom.

No doubt he was going to throw some sort of tantrum or take his anger out on someone in his class. You felt bad about that, you made a mental note to message their class president Eun Hoo and apologise for whatever mess Hae Sung created.

Seo Jun just stared at you, holding out chocolates to him but looking at the door at Hae Sung and then laughing when he stomped away. He didn’t know whether he wanted to take the chocolates or not, while he did dislike Lee Hae Sung, why should he refuse free chocolates. From the reaction Hae Sung just gave. If he saw Seo Jun with those chocolates, he would be even angrier and while that would be funny for him.

Seo Jun didn’t want any of Hae Sung’s anger to affect you. That made him pause, why did he care so much about what would happen to you, it's not like you were friends that he should care. You were just his tutor and someone he wanted to get to know more. He most definitely wasn’t starting to get a crush on you.

No way was that happening. Your relationship with Hae Sung was confusing enough, it was obvious Hae Sung had feelings for you but what you felt for Hae Sung was up in the air and if you even knew that Hae Sung had feelings for you.

Why was he even thinking about this, he had been through enough with Ju Kyung, he didn’t want to like anyone especially not the person who was tutoring him.

“Yah, Han Seo Jun take these chocolates will you, my arm is starting to hurt” you complained when Seo Jun still hadn’t taken the chocolates from your hands. This seemed to jolt Seo Jun from whatever trance he was in and he quickly took the chocolates. You smiled brightly at him and went back to your seat.

“You know, YN that scene of you giving chocolates to Seo Jun felt like it was out of a drama. The girl confessing to the guy with chocolates. Argh so cute, I am here for this ship” Soo Ah said excitedly. You looked down embarrassed before shaking your head and looked down to avoid anyone seeing your blushing cheeks. Unfortunately, you weren’t quick enough.

“Aww, Seo Jun look she’s blushing now; yah I think we’ve got a new couple emerging in our class,” Tae Hoon said sounding just as excited if not more excited than Soo Ah at the prospect of another couple in your class. Seo Jun looked at you getting embarrassed, not lifting your head as other people started to tease you and felt anger. He didn’t understand why he was angry at Tae Hoon embarrassing you like this, but he was, and he had to do something about it.

“Aish, Yoo Tae Hoon shut that stupid mouth of yours before I punch you” Seo Jun snarled angrily at Tae Hoon who immediately stopped teasing you and went back to his desk, miming a zipper closing his mouth. Seeing that reaction everyone else that had been teasing you stopped as well.

You heard what happened and felt immensely grateful for Seo Jun getting everyone to be quiet. You wanted to thank him but didn’t want to stir up rumours so with your head still on your desk you texted Ju Kyung and asked her for Seo Jun’s number. Thankfully, she saw your message immediately and sent his number without even asking why you wanted it.

To Seo Jun:

Thanks for that, u didnt have to do that, but I appreciate it Seo Jun. Sorry about what happened tho, I shouldnt have given the chocolates to u now, if I knew it would’ve started this, I would’ve given them to Cho Rong or Ju Kyung to pass on to you instead. Oh, and Ju Kyung gave me ur number.

Almost immediately you felt your phone buzz and saw youd gotten a reply from Seo Jun.

From Seo Jun:

Watver Nerd, culdve asked for my number yesterday ya know but yeah ur welcome i guess, someone had to shut up these idiots. im happy u gave the chocolates to me, thnx for them bonus was seeing that bastard walking off in anger.

You laughed silently at Seo Jun calling Hae Sung a bastard, although your automatic reaction was to defend Hae Sung, you refrained from doing that and replied.

To Seo Jun:

Yh yh, I forgot sue me for being forgetful Han Seo Jun, I hope you enjoy the chocolates tho, their the expensive type so share them with ur mum and sister.

You knew he would share with his family, but just wanted to remind him, these chocolates were the type that you would finish without even realising it.

From Seo Jun:

Yah, wat do u take me for, ofcourse im sharing w/ my sis n mum, dw abt it, with the way these vultures attacked ill even save some for u.

Honestly who knew Seo Jun could be such a sweetheart over texts, this was a side of Han Seo Jun you never thought you would see.

To Seo Jun:

Aww, thnx for saving some for me too Seo Jun, you don’t have too but im not gonna say no to chocolates.

You smiled as you felt you phone vibrate with a response, Seo Jun was a quick responder, you didn’t think youd be texting with Seo Jun or even get his number but look you having a proper text conversation with him. Such a contrast to last week when you were afraid of him and now not only were you tutoring him but he was slowly becoming your friend.

From Seo Jun:

Understood, if I ever get u mad at me, imma get chocolates to get u to forgive me.

You giggled at his reply to your message and started to type a response. When you felt someone poke you, you looked to Hyun Ji and saw that Han Ssaem was entering the class. You locked your phone without replying and sat up straight ready for the next lesson.

Chapter 5

[thelastdrop]

Festival 3: Past

Blackpink Jisoo x Male Reader

5207 words

Categories: smut

Read on AFF

“… and that is why we would like to continue to aggressively pursue the use of your company’s electronics while we work to build more advanced models. Thank you.”

The words came into your right ear as your translator spoke into a small microphone they were given.

As the older Korean businessman finishes his presentation with a bow, you look over at Mr. Hegstad, the Vice President of your company, and see he’s begun to gather his belongings. You quickly followed his lead and gathered up all the papers that had been handed out during the meeting and tried to organize them quickly so you didn’t get left behind.

“Piglet don’t forget to take your earpiece out and give it back to our translator,” Mr. Hegstad said, “Having to replace those is a pain in the ass.”

“Yes, sir.” you replied.

‘Piglet’ a nickname that had been graciously given to you by Mr. Hegstad. Even though he was only five years older than you he was already VP of your company. Climbing the corporate ladder at such an astounding rate made him the envy of a lot of different corporations, who were seeking young executives they could start grooming to take over as the next CEO of their respective companies.

You took out your earpiece and placed it in the white bin labeled with some Korean characters and the word ‘EARPIECE’ below it in big black bold letters. As you looked up, you saw that Mr. Hegstad was already out the door of the conference room. Quickly shoving the documents inside your bag, you slung it across your body and squeezed your way through the crowd exiting the room.

Mr. Hegstad still had his head facing forward as you finally emerged on the other side of the door, giving you hope that he hadn't noticed your absence by his side yet. Sprinting after him, you brought yourself to a leisurely walk as you got closer.

“Glad you finally caught up Piglet,” he chuckles, “Thought I’d have to leave you behind.”

“Sorry for worrying you, Mr. Hegstad,” you sighed in defeat.

“Aw c'mon now you know I wouldn’t have actually left you alone in a country you don’t know, right? And for the love of god when it’s just you and me call me John,” he said, as he threw his arm over your shoulder. “I’m barely older than you and having you of all people call me Mr. Hegstad makes me feel way older than I am.”

“I’ll try my best,” you answered.

“That’s the spirit!” he exclaimed as he gave your chest a firm slap, “Now pleeeeeeease tell me we’re done for the day.”

You pulled out your phone and checked the detailed schedule Mr. Hegstad’s secretary gave to you before coming to South Korea.

—

When your boss called you into his office in the middle of the workday a few weeks ago you were worried you’d messed something up pretty bad. As he began to tell you of the opportunity you were being offered you weren’t sure if he was serious. You were chosen by the higher ups to accompany the VP of your company on a month long business trip to South Korea to act as his do-it-all man. It had only been six months since you started working here and you didn’t know what to say.

“But, why me? I don’t even speak Korean?” you asked dumbfounded.

“This is a position that’s given out every year.” your boss began, “Every year our company sends one of the executives to South Korea in order to talk about the following years business deals with the multiple companies we work with there.”

While you processed what he was saying to you, you couldn’t tell if this was a dream or not. As you tried to wrap your head around it, living in South Korea for a whole month seemed wild to you. You don’t know the first thing about South Korea: the food, the language, the culture. Just then you're brought back into the moment as your boss continues.

“Now this isn’t an easy job,” he waned in a serious tone, “but it can prove to be a great starting point for your future at the company. Those who do a good job and earn the respect of the executive they travel with swiftly rise the ranks here. Mr. Hegstad was given that opportunity 4 years ago and look at where he is now. It also didn’t hurt that he went with the current CEO of the company.”

“I’ll take it!” you blurted out.

“Oh ho ho, an eager one I see,” he laughed, “well I hope you don’t end up regretting it. People who don’t do a good job end up with a much harder battle when looking for promotions.” He gestured out to an older man in his late 30s early 40s with the same job title as you.

“I-I won’t,” you stuttered out.

Over the next several weeks you would meet with Mr. Hegstad’s secretary and learn as much as you could about him. What he liked to drink after a long day's work, what his favorite snack was, what he liked to do to relax, even which side of the car he prefered to sit on. Anything and everything you could try and memorize you did, you also took sometime to look up some basic things about South Korea so you wouldn’t make a complete fool of yourself when you got there.

The day before you leave you met one last time with his secretary who gave you the itinerary for your trip. Every day laid out with the meetings, lunches, and dinners Mr. Hegstad was going to have while you were there. As you turned away from her desk to leave for the day, she wished you good luck with a smile.

—

“So are we done?” Mr. Hegstad asked again as you approached the elevator doors.

You locked your phone and put it back into your pocket, turning to him you said the three words he wanted to hear more than any other three words right now, “Yes, we’re done.”

He collapsed to his knees and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Oh thank you, thank you sweet merciful god,” he said as he fake wept into your stomach.

“Si-Sir please get up, people are staring,” you said as you pull on the collar of his jacket to no avail. The elevator doors opened, luckily, with no one inside.

“Mr. Hegstad, please the elevator is here.” Once again you were only met with more fake weeping. You reached out and stuck your hand in the elevator to hold the doors open.

“JOHN!” you say loudly causing him to look up at you with puppy dog eyes. You motion toward the elevator, seeing that it had arrived he slowly rose to his feet giving you a pat on the shoulder as he entered the elevator. You rolled your eyes and then bowed to the crowd in an apologetic manner as you followed John onto the elevator.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh,” John let out a sigh as he stretched his arms upwards, “So what are we doing tonight? This is the first night I've been free since we both got here so why don’t we go and do something fun?”

“I don’t know if I have it in me, s- I mean John.”

A grin spreads across his face as he heard you say his name, “Come on Piglet you spend most of your nights working so hard. Just take one night off and come drinking with me. I promise I won’t drag you to any clubs.”

You let out a long sigh knowing no matter how much you tried you weren’t getting out of this one. Looking at your watch and seeing that it was nearly 7 you knew you had to put your foot down.

“Fine, but only ONE beer then I have to get back to our hotel and get your documents in order for your day tomorrow.”

The doors to the elevator opened and you both began walking toward the entrance of the building where your car was waiting.

“Hey if that’s all I can get outta you Piglet then I’ll take it,” John said with a satisfied look on his face.

After returning to the hotel and getting changed you heard a knock on your door.

“Ohhhhh Piglet your best buddy is here to take you out for some fuuuuuun,” you heard John yelling behind the door to your room.

You opened the door and saw John in a very casual outfit. He was wearing a white shirt with a jean jacket over the top and a necklace with some kind of pendant on it hanging into his chest. That accompanied with the dark jeans he had on, gave you the sense that you were not dressed well enough to be seen with him.

“Heeeeyyyaaaah, what are you wearing?” he hasped with a horrified look on his face. “Nope nope nope you’re not going out like that. How are you going to end up with a girl tonight looking like that?”

“Ending up with a girl tonight?” you said confused as he brushed by you entering your room, “I thought I told you one beer and then I need to come back here and get ready for your day tomorrow.”

He started going through your closet and looking at the clothes you brought on the trip. “Yeah yeah, I know what you said,” he peeked his head out and looked at you, “but you need to learn how to live a little. You’re always so serious and I’m gonna make sure you get to unwind tonight.”

John dove back into your closet making various noises as he looked through your wardrobe. Some in disgust, some in indifference, and very few times in surprise at your choices, which you weren’t able to tell is a good or bad thing. Finally he came out with a handful of clothes and a pair of brown loafers.

He looked at you and then back at the clothes impatiently, “Well hurry up and change! Come on Piglet we’re losing time here!” He shouted at you.

You quickly picked up the clothes and headed into the bathroom. After you changed into your new outfit, you looked at yourself in the mirror. John had picked out a white short sleeve button up that had tiny dark blue dots on it and some dark gray pants. As you walked back out of the bathroom and into the room John gave you a curious look, like he was trying to understand a piece of artwork.

“Ah, I’ve got it,” he said as he rushed over to you. He then rolled your sleeves up until they were just below your shoulders and your pant legs up to show your ankles. He took a step back and looked upon his creation once more. He put all of his fingers to his mouth and gave a chef's kiss.

“Perfect, you’re definitely getting laid tonight,” he said with a wink as he walked beside you and put his arm on your shoulder, spinning you around so you were both linked up as you left your room.

Once you’re out of the hotel you both began walking, John vigilantly looked for a place where you two could have a good night. You passed a lot of places that seemed more than fitting for what you were looking to get out of the night.

“This is the place,” John blurted out, taking a hard left while he grabbed your sleeve and pulled you in with him. As you stepped into the bar, it looked like you stepped into another dimension.

Stepping off from the busy streets of Seoul, you were now in a quiet bar with light music playing. The all wooden interior gave you a very warm and comfortable feeling. The simplistic designs made into the woodwork on the ceiling and walls counteracted the curved support beams that sprang up from the floor and into the ceiling. There were two levels both with similar seating arrangements from what you could tell, a mixture of granite hightops and tables with the same red felt chairs at every location. The last thing that stood out was the long granite bar that stretched along the entire wall on the lower level.

John looked for some kind of staff and started talking to them in Korean.

“They said we can sit wherever we want and someone will come around to get our drink orders,” John relayed to you, “Let’s grab that open table right there.”

As you both sat down at the table you took a look around at the individuals in the bar. It seemed like a younger crowd, all of them around the same ages of you and John. John caught you looking and slapped you on the arm.

“See anyone you like Piglet?”

“Why do you call me that?”

“What? Piglet?” he teased before letting out a chuckle as you nodded back at him. “Well the first time I walked by where you work I saw you had a little Piglet plushie on your desk, and since I’m horrible at remembering new employees names I just called you Piglet and it stuck with me.”

“But can’t you just call me by my first name at this point,” you complained in an annoyed manner, “I mean, you’re making me call you by your first name.”

“No can do Piglet. You are locked in my brain as Piglet now and so shall you forever be called,” Josh said in a medieval-esque voice.

You let out a long sigh as a waitress approached your table. John took over and ordered both of your drinks. You both had small talk about what it had been like here so far, you asked John how about his experiences on this trip when he was where you were, and you both just passed the time having a good chat.

As you tipped your glass back for one final swig of the dark beer that was left in it you are stopped before the liquid can touch your lips. One of the most stunning women you had ever laid your eyes on had just walked into the bar. She had long black hair that fell down past her chest. She was wearing a slightly oversized all white button up with only her 3rd and 4th button being used revealing what looked to be a black crop top that stopped before her skirt began giving you a glimpse of her midriff. A black, dark gray and light gray plaid almost see through skirt was fashioned around her waist.

John seeing you stuck in place followed your line of sight and saw who you were staring at.

“Bingo,” he said as he rose from his seat making his way to where the woman was walking.

“Wait, John, no there’s no way I can talk to her,” you pleaded as you reached for his arm as he walked away, “I don’t even know Korean.”

“Stop worrying so much.” he teased, “It’s going to be a lot more embarrassing if I have to point you out to her than if you make the first move.” John said as he turned and continued walking toward the woman as she took a seat at the bar.

You debated whether you should just leave quickly and head back to the hotel or try and beat John to the woman. After only a couple seconds of deliberation, you quickly sprang out of your chair and rushed past John as you filled the seat next to the Korean woman.

“H-Hi,” you stuttered out. “Hello,” she responds with a Korean accent. Not knowing what to say you just sat there and stared at the beautiful woman in front of you. After a few moments that seemed like an eternity you felt something heavy crash around your shoulder. You looked over to see John standing above you, he gave you a wink before he talked with her in korean

You just sat there and smiled awkwardly while they talked. The only thing that you were able to pick out of the conversation is one word, Piglet. As soon as the word is mentioned you see her look at you and then back to John, she then pointed at you and said something you would think meant “Him?”. She then covered her mouth and began laughing while John did the same. Once the laughter died down and you sat there red in the face, John took his arm off your shoulder and leaned down into your ear.

“I’m leaving. Her name is Jisoo. Good luck Piglet.” he whispered and then rose back up and said goodbye to the two of you. As you watched him exit the bar you heard her sweet voice once more.

“So… Piglet.” she said.

“Well, um, you see he-” but your stammering is cut off by one word.

“Cute” she said with a smile as she looked you in the eyes.

All of the fear and embarrassment you had felt were washed away with one simple word that came out of this angel sitting before you. You felt as if all of the stress from the trip so far had melted away, leaving you in a complete state of relaxation.

“Yeah…,” you said, “cute.”

She nodded in affirmation.

“So… Jisoo, right?”

“Yes,” she answered back with a little bounce.

“Do you speak English a lot?” you asked.

“No… but I… learn for my job,” she said, proud of herself for finishing her sentence. “So we can… speak to make easier.”

“Okay.” you said as an uncontrollable grin wipes across your face causing Jisoo’s face to mimic your own.

For the next hour or longer you both sat together, talking as best you could about anything. You both began to get more comfortable around one another and finally Jisoo put her hand on top of yours and looked deep into your eyes.

“You… me… go to room together?”

“Yes.”

—

As soon as you stepped through the threshold of your hotel room, you were both on top of each other. Jisoo had pushed you back against the door causing it to close with a loud clack. She pushed her soft lips on yours surprising you at first, but you quickly recovered matching her movements. As you moved your hands through her open shirt to her exposed lower back, you pulled her deeper into you as you kissed. The feeling of her lips moving against yours was nothing short of spectacular, but you craved more. You pushed your tongue against her lips, looking for permission to access the warm, wet area behind them. When her lips parted an equally enthusiastic tongue darted out and began massaging your own. Trying to taste as much of her as you could you forced your tongue into her mouth. After several minutes of this back and forth, you pulled away gasping for air. A single string of saliva kept you two connected.

Your hands swiftly came around and worked at the two buttons holding her loose shirt in place as you began to walk her out of the short entrance hallway and into your room. She then began frantically doing the same to you shirt trying to be careful while walking backwards. As you finished her second button you pushed her shirt down over her shoulders trapping her arms against her body. She strained against your hold wanting to continue her objective and remove your shirt, only making it about half way down before you took control. You stood there at the precipice of your room using all your strength to hold her arms at her sides while trying not to rip the thin shirt.

Staring into her eyes you could see only one thing in them, lust. Pure lust. A wanting for you, a needing for you to do whatever you wanted to her. She was totally and completely yours for however long you would have her. You dove back into her capturing her lips once more, releasing the hold you had on her arms in the process. She moved quickly, taking her wrinkled shirt off and throwing it across the room as it left her body. Once again your slow march toward the bed began as your tongues battled for dominance. Your attention turned to your own shirt undoing the remaining button’s Jisoo failed to reach. Jisoo suddenly broke the kiss as she fell backwards onto your bed, her limbs sprawled out across its surface. The picture of this gorgeous Korean woman laid out across your white sheets looked like something the gods had intended to make a reality the moment she was born.

You slowly began to crawl over the top of her body, moving your face closer and closer to her own until your lips were inches apart. Jisoo lunged forward taking your lips once again and throwing her arms around your back, lightly digging her nails into it. This embrace was short lived as you began to trail kisses down her neck to her shoulder. With one hand you grabbed the small black crop top that was the only thing between you and her breasts. Jisoo moved to help you arching her back off the bed giving you the access you required. Leaning back, you grabbed the shirt and pulled it over her head as she stretched her arms upwards along the bed.

With her back still arched you moved down and took her erect nipple into your mouth, eliciting a moan out of the woman beneath you. Swirling your tongue around it in circles you massaged it, as you moved your other hand up her body capturing the ample tit in your palm. You began working it, squeezing it trying to earn more moans and gasps out of Jisoo. Pinching her left nipple between your fingers and biting down on her earned a deep moan from her. Liking what you heard you switched positions and repeated the process.

Feeling satisfied with the work you had done you once again began training kisses down her tight stomach. Inching closer to the waist line of her skirt you reached and seized it with your hands and began pulling it down giving you even more skin to worship. The trail of kissing continued down her stomach stopping at her navel giving it a kiss, earning a small giggle out of Jisoo. Your fingers gripped her panties signaling you to bring yourself up. As you brought yourself up onto one knee on the edge of the bed Jisoo closed her legs together allowing you to remove her two remaining articles of clothing.

As they slid off you got a good view of just how thick and meaty her thighs actually were. Staring at them as they parted giving you a clear view of her clean shaven slit caused your dick to strain against its pants. You put your hands under those thick thighs and lifted her up off the bed and pushed her further back so you could lie down as you approached her wet lips. Without warning you dove deep into her wet cavern, your tongue exploring as far as it could go. Her hands instantaneously started running through your hair trying to grasp as much of it as she could letting out a pleasured moan.

“Feels… so good…” Jisoo moaned.

Your assault continues as Jisoo tries to pull you deeper into her, waking to feel herself more full. As you hear her breathing start becoming labored you latch onto her clit and suck on it harshly. Jisoo’s thighs clamp around your head as she curls up into a ball and rolls on her side.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” she chanted before she rolled back to her previous position and went rigid.

Jisoo’s sweet honey leaked out of her and coated your chin. You hungrily began to lap up as much of the liquid as you could. As you lifted your face from between her legs you watched as Jisoo’s chest rose and fell in rhythm with her breathing. She extended her arms outwards towards you.

“Come here,” she gasped between breaths.

She embraced you with another sloppy kiss as she tried to lick up her juice that covered your face. As you move up, your erect cock, still trapped in your pants, rubbed up against Jisoo’s crotch. A hum escaped her lips and she pushed her hips against yours. You broke the kiss and matched her moan with a much lower one of your own as you started humping into her, soaking the outside of your pants.

You looked down her body and watched as her abs flexed and relaxed with each movement of her hips, sending even more blood to your throbbing member. Jisoo grabbed your chin and made you lock eyes.

“Want inside.”

“Me too,” you responded to her breathlessly.

Immediately you rose to your feet and pulled your pants and briefs off and tossed them to the side. At the sight of you dick standing proud before her Jisoo bit down on her index finger. You lined your cock up above her slit and slowly pushed it inside making the two of you groan and moan in unison. You were able to slide it with relative ease but her tightness around your cock made the pleasure rise to an entirely different level.

Her walls clamped around your shaft, gripping it tightly as you settled into the sensations that were flowing through you. Grabbing handfuls of her thighs you pushed deeper feeling that same incredible tightness as it engulfed your whole dick.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” you growled.

“Y-you are so big. Do not stop.” Jisoo moaned.

You drew your hips back and pushed them forward and a slow and steady pace, wanting Jisoo to get used to your size. She began moaning at your motions moving her body to match your movements.

“Harder,” she let out breathlessly as you looked at her.

You upped your pace and chased after the satisfaction that you both craved. Jisoo’s moans grew much louder as your dick continuously hit her g-spot. It wasn’t long before her legs started shaking from the intense pleasure she was feeling.

Liking the reaction you were getting you increased your pace again, pistoning your dick in and out of her wet pussy. Her warm walls contracted against you as you mercilessly pounded this woman into the bed. You leaned down placing your arms on the side of her head and captured her lips. She continued moaning into your mouth, but you felt safer knowing you that no one would come in and interrupt what you two were doing.

Jisoo moved her arms under yours and dug her nails into your back. Wincing at the pain, but loving the feeling you did not stop thrusting in and out of her cunt. Her legs snaked around you, keeping you in place and not allowing you to leave.

“Please… do not stop,” Jisoo whispered out to you between her moans.

Feeling her reaching another climax you reached your hand down and found her clit. Almost as soon as you put pressure on it Jisoo’s eyes rolled back into her head. More and more liquids seeped out of her as you slowed your strokes as she began coming down. Both of you breathing heavily for a couple of seconds trying to regain yourselves.

As Jisoo looked at you a very satisfied smile came across her face, causing you to do the same.

“We… switch?” she asked between her breaths still smiling at you.

As if on cue you flipped your positions, Jisoo now sitting on top of your groin, your dick still completely inside her. Without a moment of hesitation Jisoo placed her hands on your chest and began riding you almost animalistically. She knew what she wanted and how to get it and chased after it as hard as she possibly could.

“Holy shit Jisoo,” you groaned as your dick was experiencing what felt like an undiscovered pleasure.

All you could manage was to move your hands to her hips as she rode you violently. After a few minutes of this she finally began slowing down. Upon seeing this opening you planted your feet firmly into the mattress and fucked up into her.

“Oooh my GOD!” Jisoo yelled as she bounced on top of your relentless thrusts.

Watching her ample boobs bounce in front of you was something too enticing to ignore. You reached your hands up and grabbed them both roughly not slowing your thrusts down for a second. Another loud moan escaped Jisoo as she felt pleasure coming from multiple places on her body. The loud slaps of your groin meeting her thighs and plump ass filled the room.

You could sense that your end was quickly approaching and returned your hands to Jisoo’s hips. Sensing what was coming as your cock grew even bigger inside her, she leaned down to you and captured your lips. Wordlessly you knew what she wanted. You lasted only a few more thrust before you unloaded deep inside her. Thick ropes coated her walls as you threw her arms around her pulling her in for a deeper kiss.

This was not like the rest of the kisses you had experienced throughout the night. This was a deep and sensual kiss that had no tongue, or movement, just two pairs of lips firmly on one another. As you felt yourself soften and fall out Jisoo, she finally pulled away from you.

“That was amazing,” she said in almost perfect English.

“You were amazing.”

Jisoo smiled at you and gave you a quick peck on the lips before rolling out of bed and walking toward your bathroom.

“We clean now?” she asked you.

You quickly jumped out of bed and picked her up, making her smile and laugh, as you carried her into the bathroom.

—

You woke up the next morning to knocking on your door. You sat up quickly and looked at the watch on your nightstand. 7:41 it read. You jumped out of bed quickly and threw on some pants rushing to the door. As you undid the locks and opened it John stood before you dressed and ready for the day.

“Forget to set an alarm there Piglet,” he said looking you up and down.

“Well, uh,” was all you could let out before John looked deeper into your room and saw another figure laying on your bed still sleeping.

He chuckled to himself as he looked back at you, “Take the day off Piglet. We start again bright and early tomorrow,” he said with what you could only assume was a happy look on his face.

A/N Hope you guys liked this! After I saw Jisoo post this picture on insta I felt like I had to write something for her. This chapter is one that I feel most proud of for sure and I hope you all enjoy reading it. Like always leave a comment below with any feedback.

[miraculouswolf99]

What I Am Salty About Over The Miraculous Fandom

Okay, there is a lot of new salt talk given what has been happening in the released episodes of season 4. Especially salt towards Adrien, Kagami, the Love Square, and the character designs as well.

And I admit that I am also far from okay with how the show is being written.

Now, anyone that reads my stories knows that I am a big fan of Adrien and will gladly defend him against those that salt and bash him. But at the same time, I am not oblivious to his flaws. I know ho they made Adrien in the newer episodes with him wanting to people to be akumatized so that he can see Ladybug, with him still having a crush on her even with him being with Kagami, but also him only sacrificing himself just to make Ladybug pay attention to him.

Yes, these are bad things. But there is obviously the lack of salt toward someone that hardly ever has salt on them. Marinette.

But I am going to start with Adrien. Adrien has definitely made mistakes and is no where near perfect, but he could be a lot worse. Adrien has gone through a lot in his life. He may be a rich, handsome, and privileged white boy, but that does not mean he acts like a spoiled brat like Chloe. His mother disappeared, his dad emotionally and mentally abuses him, he gets constantly sexually harassed by Lila, his childhood best friend betrayed all of Paris to Hawkmoth, and he is constantly being isolated from the real world and not taught how reality works. As someone that grew up as isolated as him, he does not know about real healthy relationships. All he knows is what he sees on TV. And given everything that he had gone through, he could certainly be a lot worse than how he is.

Yes, he could take his hero duties more seriously, but that does not mean that he is a bad hero. When Ladybug was about to be tagged by Timebreaker, Cat Noir took the hit for her because he knew that only her powers could bring everyone back. He also has not taken the opportunities that would have let him find out Ladybug's identity even when he could easily have. Like during Dark Owl, when Ladybug was hypnotized by Miracle Queen, and when Ladybug detransformed in that closet that she did not close all the way. How can people say that he is desperate to learn her identity when he does things like that.

I know that there are also things like in the episodes Syren, Frozer, and Glaciator where he throws "tantrums" and makes the fights harder. But let me hit you all with a hard truth. He trusts Ladybug enough to put his life on the line for her since she is the only one that has the power to undo all the damage caused. So, when he feels that she does not have the same trust in him, it actually hurts him. And while her keeping secrets from him is more Master Fu's fault, Ladybug could also have just told Cat Noir what was going on instead of letting Master Fu tell her how to treat her "partner."

There are also a lot of salt against him for his advice to Marinette on how to handle Lila. They say that he bullies her into keeping silent, that he does nothing to help her, that he chose Lila over Marinette.

Not, time for more hard truths. Adrien thinks of Lila as a tabloid since he has no experience at all dealing with real people like Lila. He believes that she will either lie her way into a corner or just get caught in her own web of lies by trying to keep her web intact. And that probably would be true if not for the fact that Lila is probably a straight-up sociopath. Plus, Adrien does not know that Lila threatened Marinette. If he knew that, he would probably change his approach to how to handle her. But Marinette did not tell him, so he does not think Lila is much of a threat because Marinette did not tell him that she threatened her. And as for him not helping Marinette, Adrien has actually tried to help her and actually helped her as well. In Ladybug, Adrien tried to stand up for Marinette but was silenced by Damocles. But in the same episode, he also made a deal with Lila to get Marinette back in school. There is also how in Chameleon, he tried to sit in the back with Marinette after the class moved her there. None of that says that Adrien ever chose Lila over Marinette.

And what Adrien probably thinks is love for Ladybug is probably him reflecting his love for freedom onto her. Whenever he sees her, he knows that he is able to be free of his "perfect model" image and be the sarcastic and silly Cat Noir. Yes, he could flirt less and take his job more seriously, but he is still an excellent hero.

But this leads me to Marinette and how she is basically treated as a pure angel that can do no wrong. I can not tell if it is because she is the main character or because she is a girl.

Let me list all the things that Marinette has done. She made a wall of pictures of Adrien, written down his entire schedule, went to the park multiple times just to see him even when she was babysitting, tried to give Luka's guitar to Adrien so that he could try and be Jagged's new guitarist, followed Adrien around with the girls to try and ask him out, teamed up with Chloe to try and sabotage Kagami, broken into Adrien's house as both herself and as Ladybug, stolen Adrien's phone just to delete an embarrassing voice mail, and also stalked Adrien just out of jealousy.

People hate on Adrien for almost everything he does in almost every episode but never say anything to Marinette's actions. Yes, Adrien does bad things sometimes, but he has not done nearly as much as Marinette has.

Double standard's, people. Just because Adrien is a guy does not mean that he is the one always in the wrong and always the bad guy in these situations. He is far from blameless, but that does not mean he gets all the blame just because he is a guy.

Now, I am not hating against women or girls or anything of that sort. But my form of gender equality means that men and women, boys and girls, everyone of all ages, gets treated the same.

That means that both men and women can be victims, it means both men and women can be the villains, it means both men and women can be in the right and in the wrong.

So, Marinette is not some perfect angel nor is Adrien some demon to be hated on.

I know that not everyone is going to agree with me or share my opinions. But if they can share their opinions, then so can I. Deal with it, haters.

[alreadyblondenow]

Christmas Gram 

▸ Jaemin x reader ▸ 1,876k words ▸ Fluff only ▸ No warnings, but this is inspired by his mini drama and his character is close to Han Daegang hehehe ▸ Requested and part of B’s giving back event,  Ho Ho Ho?!  See anon request message at the end of this drabble. 

"Christmas Gram

Wherein your secret Santa will give you gifts depending on what’s demanded during the week. For our first week, you are required to give the person you got something fragile, the second week will be a stress reliever may it be a stress ball or whatever comes to your mind, and lastly something that will last forever.

Please leave the gifts on top of the desk of the person you got. Secretly. I repeat, secretly. Don’t ruin the fun."

Everyone acknowledged what your homeroom teacher just explained. Besides Valentine gram, everyone always looks forward to Christmas gram. The gifts given during Christmas gram are very special, but that depends on who got you. If you’re lucky you can get something even better than a tissue paper when the Christmas gram demands something soft. If that person who got you really cares for you, the gifts will be unique. But in your case, you never had a unique gift. It’s your senior year and you’re not keeping your hopes up.

Week 1: Something fragile

“Hey Y/n, are you excited for this year’s Christmas gram?” Yeji smirks while fixing her bag.

You rolled your eyes at her because she knew you got her for this year’s Christmas gram. “There’s no thrill with getting your best friend for Christmas Gram, I give you gifts since we were little” you whine and hand her your gift with a smile.

Usually, you get your gifts in the morning but this time, the day is almost ending and you haven’t had yours. Everyone else is either happy or whining about what they received for week one. Maybe you got really unlucky this year. “What did you get for something fragile?” You asked your seatmate, Jaemin, the school’s number one snob. But you can’t relate to that because you’re the only person who can talk to him.

“A saucer,” he says, pointing at the saucer on his table. “I can give it to my mom” he added.

The fact that he thought about his mom made you smile, but you feel bad for him for getting a freaking saucer for the first week of Christmas Gram. Even bad boys deserve a meaningful gift during Christmas gram. You weren’t that close, but he was nice to you. One time, when you were having a hard time editing something he came out of nowhere and helped you out, and you think he has the sweetest smile in this school, it was something you’ve never seen before and you wish he smiles more often.

“How about you?”

“I think he or she forgot to leave the gift. It’s alright though, Christmas Gram is about giving, and Yeji is happy with my gift to her” He nods and puts on his usual poker face again.

Four days after the start of week one, s parcel is sitting on your table with a note that says, ‘Sorry. The delivery took a while. Here’s something fragile for you, I hope you keep it beside your bed so you can look into something nice before you close your eyes every night’

Your secret someone didn’t even bother wrapping it nicely but the note is sweet. 'fragile' it says on the sticker. You made sure to open it with care and carefully remove it from the box. The moment the glitters hit the natural sunlight, it illuminates around the room and the fragile thing that you’re holding is illuminating beautifully which made you smile from ear to ear. You shake and shake the snow globe and watch the glitters float around inside. Fragile indeed, you thought. Definitely for safekeeping.

Week 2: Stress reliever

You were looking at Jaemin’s long eyelashes while he was fidgeting with his expensive camera. Completely spaced out and your mind is just thinking how the other students hate him for being who he is. If only others could set aside Jamin’s bad boy image, they will see how handsome this boy is-

“I can hear your thoughts. You think I’m handsome” he blurted out and brought you back to reality. He was just teasing you though and gave you a small candy cane. “Put it in your hot chocolate tonight if you’re into that,” he says then goes back to fidgeting with his camera.

For the second week, your gift got delayed again. This time you didn’t feel bad even just for a second, maybe your secret Sant will give it to you tomorrow. Who knows? The first gift was awesome.

Three days after the start of week two, you haven’t received any gift yet. And you know it’s not right to get sad about it, but you can't help it. Not to mention your studies and a lot of school activities are kicking your butt lately. You really needed that stress reliever.

“I had a stress ball for week two. You didn’t ask me what I got so I figured I tell you, what did you get?” Jaemin’s face looks unbothered. If you don’t know him well enough you will think that he doesn’t care but he does.

“I got nothing, and I’m done waiting,” you said a bit annoyed.

“Are you free after school then?” It was a bold move you thought. For starters, you’re not actually friends you’re just nice to each other. But maybe it’s time to change that, so you said ‘yes’ you’re free. He brought you to an animal cafe near your school where you can play with the dogs while having coffee, tea, or cakes. It was all smiles because of the cute puppies the whole afternoon and seeing Jaemin smile the whole time is such a sight to see. He doesn’t look like the Jaemin you see at school, this Jaemin is different. Which made you think, ‘what am I doing here with Jaemin?’

“Do you want to have a puppy?” He asked while giving the dog on his lap a tummy rub.

“Of course but my family doesn’t have time to go adopt or buy one so....”

“Ohh. Okay just asking”

The day ended with an awkward goodbye hug with Jaemin but it's the least you can do after he took out your stress and worries. You wore the smile that Jaemin gave you until you sleep oh so soundly that night.

The next day, you woke up happily on a beautiful weekend with no school works but a whole day of family Christmas decorating. When you went downstairs, you saw your family gathered in the living room gushing over something. “I think your boyfriend gave you a gift” your mom teased you.

“What boyfriend?” Then you saw a cute puppy on a box that your mom is carrying carefully with a smile. She was heading towards you to give it to you and there’s only one person you could think of right now. Jaemin. Your heart was so happy as you stretch your arms and reach for the puppy. It was an unexplainable feeling that you just screeching out of happiness, and express with a good amount of OMGs over and over again.

“He left it this morning, stayed outside the house until someone is awake. I think he didn’t want to leave the door on the doorstep”

Week 3: Something that will last forever

The week before Christmas break is finally here, and every student is excited to get their last gift and finally meet their ‘secret santa’. Rules are they have to hand you their final gift however they want, which makes everything even more nerve-wracking. And for your secret santa? You have a strong feeling that its Jaemin, you just don’t want to burst his bubble.  

“Hey” you smiled from ear to ear as you greet Jaemin before the first period starts. You saw a green box inside his backpack just peeking while he gets his books then you pretend you didn’t see anything. “the puppy last weekend uhm-“

“You were stressed and besides I didn’t want to go to the cafe alone” he smiles innocently like he didn’t just gave you something that will change your life, “I hope you take care of it though and I hope that the puppy will relieve all your stress until you go to college” and just like that, after that short conversation he’s back to being quiet again.

The day went on and you watch your schoolmates receive different kinds of gifts from unexpected people, which made you smile all throughout the day. But you… you expected Jaemin to give you the gift before the day ends but he still hasn't. Until classes are done and everyone is bidding goodbye and carrying their gifts except you. Maybe Jaemin got shy? So you did what you do best, just shrug it off and wait.

While you were waiting for your mom to finish cooking dinner, you were scanning through places that you want to go over the Christmas break. There's ice skating, a carnival downtown, and- “You have a visitor” your mom knocks at your door and told you that someone is waiting for you outside. “He won't get in unless he meets you outside. Invite him for dinner” your mom added.

“He?” you murmured. You put on your jacket and head towards the door and you see Jaemin wearing a sweater with his hands inside his pockets. No gift, you thought. “Hey what are you doing here?”

“Hi uhm,” he scratched the back of his nape before he continues.

“I know you got me for Christmas Gram. And if you’re here because you don’t know what to give me, it’s totally okay Jaemin. You’re a great guy and the puppy is enough, don’t worry” you smiled sweetly and tried to comfort him.

“What no- I got Jeno. I just wanted to give you gifts because you said it’s the season of giving, and uhm… I don’t want to waste this opportunity. I see you get disappointed with your secret Santa, so I gave you the gifts. It's just my way of entering into your life” he smiled awkwardly and chuckled.

You giggled and feel the butterflies in your stomach, “that’s cheating” you said with a smile and came closer to him like you’re inviting him to come closer to you too.

“Yeah but you’re worth it,” he said, looking at your lips then to your eyes. “Did they make you happy?”

“Mhmm” Inch by inch your bodies come close and the next thing you know Jaemin is holding you by the waist, “what’s your last gift then?”

“Me” It was a quiet moment but you get what he’s telling you, “if we do this right then we can last forever. But if not, then at least we tried, right?”

“Yes, I totally agree. But right now, you’re about to meet my whole family because my mom invited you to dinner” you teased him and you watch him froze, “you’ll be fine. Everyone likes you because you gave us a puppy” you offer your hand which he happily grabbed and you welcomed him to your home. And that night is the start of a sweet love story between you and Jaemin.

↩︎ prev next ▶︎

Dear Anon, thank you so much for requesting this! I’m not much of a fluff writer but I hope this gives justice to your request. Also, I made it almost Christmas day hihi. 

story time: During our Christmas party (2018) my friends surprised me with a puppy and I was so happy that I kept on saying “oh my gosh” almost thirty times hahahah The dog that was given to me became a stress reliever not just for me but for my mom also. My mother loved her so much that she brings the dog to her work and carry her with pride. hahahah 

[gallavictorious]

I really wish they could have acknowledged that Ian messed up in signing the lease against Mickey's wishes. That bedroom scene would have meant so much more if Ian had apologized for making Mickey move there before he was ready to. I don't doubt that at least a part of Mickey's unhappiness was because he just wasn't ready to completely change his life like that. He wasn't emotionally ready to deal with feeling like a misfit and that contributed to his humiliation and discomfort. Maybe if he'd had time to process and come to terms with living there, if he had actually been part of the decision, he would have had an easier time accepting things that were unfamiliar and he wouldn't have had to take out his anger on things like patio furniture and the moon. All those things felt more frustrating than they perhaps would have otherwise because he didn't choose them. If Ian had just apologized or acknowledged that mistake in any way I would have felt much better about the episode. In the end, it's not like they even compromised on anything except that Mickey gets to pee in the pool 🙄 How is that supposed to help things, exactly?

Hiya nonnie! As mentioned before I have a lot of complex emotions about how the whole West Side story played out in this latest episode, but I'm moving towards an interpretation of events that makes sense and is emotionally satisfying to me. This is going to be a little half-baked and tentative and I might change my mind later on, but this is where I am right now:

See, I agree that the end result of this felt a bit... meh, on first watch. Mickey is clearly miserable at that place and the only reason he's there at all is because Ian didn't really give him much of a choice. Agreeing to stay somewhere you hate just to make your partner happy is not... optimal, if there are other options available, and I just don't love that the outcome was that okay, fine, he'll suck it up and have a go at it even though he really doesn't want to. But having watched it again, and gone on a long forrest walk with some friends to clear my head, and having though about it some more, I don't think that's what we're actually getting: I don't think this is Mickey still having all of his reservations intact but going with it anyway just because he loves Ian; I think this is Mickey having some of those reservations removed, and thus feeling actually okay with giving it a proper shot.

Like this: I believe that Mickey is quite genuinely is uninterested by what the West Side has to offer. It isn't just fear of change or fear of not fitting in that makes moving there objectionable to him, I think that he generally doesn't see the appeal of that lifestyle at all. Still, Mickey is pretty adaptable and did like the heated pool and what matters most to him is being together with Ian, so had all of his objections been related to practical concerns I think he would have... squared up and gone with it. Maybe grumbling a bit at first and still not loving it, but you know. Making do and being okay.

But I don't think that's the whole of it. Before the episode aired, I rashly speculated about Mickey worrying that Ian doesn't think him good enough (rather than Mickey himself worrying about not being good enough; I maintain that Mickey is pretty comfortable with who he is) and he's resisting moving to the West Side partly because he knows he won't fit in and worries that Ian will truly realize that Mickey can't never really be part of whatever picture-perfect dream of the middleclass Ian's got going. When I first watched the episode I, somewhat unhappily, thought that this theory had been shot down: “there's too much pressure,” Mickey tells us, and, “it makes me uncomfortable”. It initially seemed to me that the show was pushing a narrative of Mickey being concerned about a general societal pressure to conform with West Side expectations and him being unhappy with his own inability to do so. If that had been the case, him eventually agreeing to stay at the condo would be... unfortunate, to say the very least. But it would also be strange as fuck because why would Mickey do that – he did go along with it at first (and I have a bunch of thoughts on his uncharacteristic resignation there, but that's another meta), but now he's fed up and taking a stance so why would he suddenly change his tune after Ian's actually given him a way out? He wouldn't – not unless something had changed for him.

And it has, because Mickey isn't talking about pressure in general, is he; he is talking about (perceived) pressure from Ian. He thinks Ian wants him to change and that is making him very unhappy with the whole situation because Mickey doesn't want to change, not in that way, and the idea that his husband doesn't think him good enough as he is pretty damned hurtful (which compounds and amplifies his other and practical issues with their new home). What happens in this conversation – what changes – is that Ian finally gets this and deliberatedly moves to correct the misunderstanding. Because it is a misunderstanding: Mickey's happiness – Mickey – is far more important to Ian than nice condos and growing tomatoes, and Ian didn't sign the lease just because he's prepared to do anything to attain this lifestyle and doesn't give a shit about Mickey's opinions; he did it because he truly thought it would be good for both of them. (He was still wrong to do it and there's no getting around that, but while good intentions doesn't make it okay, I think we also need to acknowledge that his intentions were good.) Realizing that he miscalculated, he backs down, and in doing so he lets Mickey know where Ian's true priorities lie: with Mickey and with their marriage. Then he goes on to assure Mickey that even if they do stay on the West Side, he doesn't expect Mickey to change (except for not doing blatantly idiotic things like stealing from people at the apartment complex, and you know, that's reasonable) and, as noted in this post, makes a point of calling Mickey a barbarian in a way that makes it very clear that to Ian this is a feature and not a bug.

In the end, Mickey agrees to stay on the West Side, and on the surface that might seem like nothing has changed, nothing is better, Mickey has resigned himself to a life he absolutely doesn't want – but as argued above, I don't think that's true. Mickey might still not love it there but his biggest concern about moving there is no longer a factor, and thus he feels comfortable making a choice that confirms that Ian and their marriage is his top priority too – more important than him getting to be king of the South Side. This time, Mickey gets to be part of the decision (and I absolutely agree with you that this is key to making him feel okay with the move) and he chooses to give this a shot, and sure, that's probably more because he wants to make Ian happy than because he's starting to see the true appeal of the West Side, but it is a choice freely made and not one I think he feels badly about.

With all this in mind, I don't think Ian not voicing an actual apology is a problem. To me, the most important thing is that the narrative acknowledges this and that unfortunate situation was remedied and that Ian himself realizes that he made a mistake – and I think he absolutely did that. The way he acts in the beginning of the episode suggests to me that he is aware of Mickey being unhappy, and trying to make things better (by highlighting what's good about the apartment and telling Mickey that he's happy that they're there: ie that he's happy Mickey went with it). After Mickey blows up at the pool, Ian seeks him out and very pointedly does not give him shit about chucking chairs but try to have an actual conversation instead, and in the end – when he realizes what the issue is – he relents.

Perhaps it would have been nice to have Ian acknowledge that he screwed up, the way Mickey does when telling Ian that he “shouldn't have asked him to stay” in 10x03, but I think it's quite in character for Ian not to do that; he doesn't like to admit to being wrong, and he does take steps to undo the harm he's done. These two very rarely use words to say sorry to each other anyway – that only happens once in season 5 and once in season 7 – and this is an aspect of their relationship that I actually really enjoy! I cannot begin to tell you how much I love the way they reconcile on the couch in HoS: that just works for me on every level. So, as long as we don't get Mickey agreeing to something that makes him miserable, I don't have an issue with Ian not verbally saying sorry or admitting he screwed up. Actions always mattered more than words to Mickey anyway, so I doubt he's having a problem with it either.

In conclusion: I absolutely get where you're coming from, nonnie, because I felt similar dissatisfaction right after watching the episode. (Not about the lack of apology, because, yeah, they don't do that, but with the resolution to the whole thing.) Now, though, I'm actually quite happy with it; while I personally am still not in love with them moving to the West Side, it makes sense to me this way, and it's in character and the resolution emotionally satisfying. You might not agree with any of this, of course, but this is where I am now. Thank you so much for the ask, which afforded me an opportunity to work through my own tangled emotions on this matter. <3

[nevergiveupneverrun]

Bodyguard - Bonus chapter Sixty-Nine "Disillusionment"

Hello, how are you? It’s been a long long time. I'm truly sorry, it's been a crazy year. Here is chapter Sixty-Nine of my Story Bodyguard, yay! It’s the last bonus chapter and the last chapter of Bodyguard! I hope you will like this chapter.

I’m sorry in advance for the mistakes… English isn’t my first language and I do my best. Here is the link to the previous chapter: Click Here.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter :) 💛

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3 months later

How could you do that?

Why did you run away like this?

It’s the worst decision of your whole life… you lost so much with this choice… I’m not sure she forgives you…

Sitting in one of the spooky rooms of the Special Services Branch, Rosie’s words and questions see popping up like a nagging litany in my mind. Back in the United States, not without difficulty with my cover identity, Rosie was the first person I visited. The reunion was intense in emotion and tears… it was only after two hours that she managed to calm down realizing that I was alive and understanding what I was awkwardly trying to explain to her about the real situation.

My death: smokescreen.

My role of spy.

My identity was abandoned in favor of my homeland so that I endorse the characters necessary for my missions.

I spent a total of 4 days with Rosie, in this little locality of Canada that I love so much and which soothes me more. After a certain distance and reserve, she had ended after two days by returning to her usual behavior with me and fully integrating my presence at her side. And it is on these last two days that her questions and her words have completely come to light: no matter how hard I tried to justify my choice, she didn’t understand it. I tried for my part to collect some elements on Amelia… as if to prepare myself for this.

Rosie had thus revealed to me that Amelia visited my parent’s house at least once a year, probably using the key I had given her. She usually stayed there for a week, preferably in the spring, and enjoyed the moments she shared with Rosie, away from the hustle and bustle of the city and her occupation, because obviously, her status was unchanged: an essential artist of the American scene.

I realized, however, that Rosie was sticking to basic information and not telling me anything about what had become Amelia’s life: all the more specific and personal questions that I was trying to ask her, Rosie refused to answer, giving me for all feedback: "You must ask these questions to Amelia. It is up to her to answer you." The mystery was still there for me, as I was back in Seattle:

Is Amelia okay?

How had she lived these almost two years which have passed?

Has she found that hint of happiness that I wished for her when I decided to leave?

--

The cracking of the door takes me out of my memories… and the silhouette of my most loyal supporter appears and walks confidently into the room. A thin smile spreads over my face, like a relief to recognize a familiar face after these two years living in the lie, where I have known only threats and enemies. I get up and shyly take a step forward then take him in my arms for a long second.

- It makes me happy to see you, Nathan…

- Me too Owen… glad to see you got out of this mission…

We stay silent for a few moments, then I go back and take a little distance. I feel his benevolent gaze on me as if he was studying every detail to detect the differences left by time and by my cover identity.

- I see you adopted the three-day beard look… it changes you… he resumes smiling.

- Yes, the budding beard was part of the look of my blanket and I decided to keep it in… it seems fashionable, considering the number of men that I see in the streets of Seattle, I conclude with a smile.

Nathan nods then I can see his face take on a more serious and almost darker appearance.

- How are you, Owen?

The question seems the simplest possible… and yet the tone he uses lets me guess all the meaning he associates with it. I lower my eyes a few seconds before trying my hand at an answer.

- I’m glad to be back home… but the situation is much more difficult than I thought…coming back from the dead is not really a scenario that I have already had the opportunity to prepare…

- Logically, you shouldn’t go through this, given the choice you made almost 2 years ago…

- Yes, I know… and I remember very well that you warned me. But at that moment, 2 years ago, I was convinced I was making the right decision for everyone. And above all, I was convinced that I was the strongest… that the reason would be the strongest.

- I’m not here to lecture you, Owen… I’m here to help you if I can…

He slips a hand into his suit jacket pocket and takes out two items: an envelope and a bunch of keys.

- Here is the key to your apartment: I asked to keep it and not to sell it as you asked me before… I suspected you might change your mind.

I collect the keys, a look grateful for the lucidity of Nathan who knew me better than anyone… even myself.

- And in the envelope?

- In the envelope… that’s what I fought for a week and your call announcing your return. I managed to give you back your Owen Hunt identity, to have your death canceled after long discussions with the management…but you lose your agent status… they don’t want to hear from you anymore.

I was speechless for a few seconds.

What I was doing was completely outside the rules. When you sign up as a spy, it’s a lifelong commitment… the identity that you lose, you abandon it forever. I never imagined that I could have found my life before, back to my true identity…coming back I had prepared to consider an entire life under a new name. Nathan gave me an unexpected and invaluable gift.

- Ho…how did you manage to…

- Don’t worry, he interrupts me, pushing the envelope on the table in my direction. In there you will find all your papers: passport, identity card, license… for the administration, your death never took place and you are an American taxpayer like all.

- I don’t know what you say… I hope you haven’t risk for your situation.

- You know, my career is more behind me than in front of me… I have no more to lose, he says with a smile.

- Thank you, Nathan…

These are the only words that come to me. Words that I express in a breath, won by the unfailing commitment that he shows to me.

- On the other hand, you imagine the compensation…you have no interest in being noticed in any way that it is regarding the authorities and do no imagine having to ask for any support if you were considering becoming a bodyguard again.

- Of course, I understand… but anyway, I don’t intend to completely resume my previous life.

- What are you going to do then?

- I don’t know yet…I have enough money aside to be able to take the time to give another meaning to my professional life…but I know I won’t be able to be anyone’s bodyguard after this experience…

A silence of a minute or more suddenly sets in.

My gaze remains on the bunch of keys and the envelope that materializes this life that I thought was lost forever…I rediscovered my identity, my apartment, and my memories, and yet I knew that some things were different. Things that would be much more difficult to find.

- Do you plan to see her again? Is that why you came back?

Nathan’s question pierces the silence and targets precisely the biggest unknown of my return as Owen Hunt.

- Yes…I did not manage to forget her…I realized that I am more unhappy far from her, that I suffer more than in any other situation. Even if I don’t live up to her expectations…I need to know…to try to be who she expects.

- I won’t tell you anything about Amelia, you have to confront her alone…but know that two years is short and long at the same time…and your "death" was a terrible ordeal for her…I don’t know how she will react when she sees you again…but prepare yourself psychologically… she went through very difficult times.

Everything Nathan expresses to me, I was already anticipating. But hearing my fears and thoughts thus confirmed by a third party, one of those I trusted the most, only increased my nervousness.

- She…is she fine?

- Yes, she’s fine Owen… I haven’t stopped keeping an eye on her since you left as you asked me. Your return will however be a real shock. She’s been healing her pain for the past two years… she loved you really, you know…

The past that Nathan uses makes me tense despite myself, but I try not to pay too much attention to it. In two years, many things could have changed: for her, maybe I was just a memory…

- Just tell me, what do you hope by seeing her again? Why are you planning to see her again and come back to her life?

- I…I just hope to explain to her that I regret my decision…that this is the only outcome that I imagined, two years ago, I was not ready for anything else, unfortunately…that I blame myself for all this pain that I inflicted on her…

- And now are you ready for something else?

- Yes…beyond all that, I have this somewhat crazy hope, that she hasn’t forgotten me… that the feelings that you evoked are not completely extinguished…

I realize by expressing aloud my previously inner hopes that they may seem completely utopian…and at the same time, I’m in a state of mind to tell myself that I have nothing to lose.

I have already lost so much in the last two years.

I don’t want to have any more regrets, unanswered questions.

Even if I come out with a broken heart, I will know…I will have tried everything…to no longer live with these regrets and these doubts that consume me a little more every day.

- I hope the outcome will be happy for you Owen… but prepare yourself… the journey may still be difficult… and you risk suffering even more…

I nod, but my conviction is stronger than anything…a question burns me despite everything…

- Do you think it’s lost in advance… that I don’t stand a chance?

Nathan looks down as if to think, then quickly finds my pupils.

- I do not predict what may happen… I have never been good at guessing women's reactions, especially when it comes to love… he retorts, a smile in his voice.

I smile back, which relaxes me a bit, after these exchanges marked by a certain tension for me.

- How am I going to find her?

- She lives at an address that you know well…

He lets the mystery hover for a few seconds, before revealing the information I miss.

- Amelia returned to Madison Park… she had the house that was so dear to her rebuilt, as to foil the fate and misfortune that may have taken place there a few years ago.

The revelation made just now by Nathan leaves me wondering and admiring… she found the strength to start over in this place, which corresponded the most to a « home » which she missed so much during her childhood and adolescence. Her strength of character will always impress me… some things had not changed, and my hope is rekindled a little more.

- Good luck, Owen…

Nathan warmly shakes my hand, while placing his other hand on my shoulder.

- I hope happiness awaits you at the end of the road for both of you, you deserve it.

- Thanks for everything Nathan… sincerely…

--

Later in the night

--

The images from the talk with Nathan fulfill my expectations, shifting me from hope to despair.

Here I am again in Madison Park, a few steps from a house that crystallizes all my anguish but also my wishes. This evening in May is particularly sweet and brings back memories of times spent in the same neighborhood, a certain summer. I realize that in 3 months, it will be precisely 2 years since I left her life….that I officially died for her…

I get off my motorbike, the waiting motionless, sitting on my motorbike becoming unbearable. A glance at my watch reveals to me that it is 9 pm: I have already been waiting for an hour…the house remains desperately dark, with no sign of life.

Does Amelia have any commitments outside of Seattle?

Maybe I’m stupidly waiting for nothing and she won’t make an appearance tonight?

I doubt.

I hesitate.

The wait allowed me to observe the details of the house…it seems to have been rebuilt as faithfully as possible to the original building: the same porch with staircase and columns, same large windows to let in light. The only noticeable difference that I notice is the terrace which was built a little more in the corner and the back as if to be better protected from view and the outside.

--

The roar of an engine suddenly gets closer and I make out a taxi driving down the quiet street of this district of Madison Park until it stops in front of this house that I could have drawn with my eyes closed.

The beating of my heart activates immediately in a thousandth of a second.

Without thinking, like on autopilot, my legs start to move and slowly approach the house. I soon see a silhouette getting out of the car.

A female silhouette, dressed in a leather jacket, revealing a guitar bag on the back.

The detail confirms the identity of this young woman for good.

It’s her…she is there, a few meters from me.

My pace quickens as she climbs the steps to her front door. She looks for her keys in her bag for a few seconds, a reprieve that allows me to make up my delay and to place myself silently on the penultimate step of her porch.

I hear the clinking of her set of keys in her hand.

I take a deep breath, my heart seems ready to explode in my chest.

My lips finally let this name escape, which I have whispered every night for so long months while climbing the last two steps to find myself at her height.

- Good evening Amelia…

A metallic and muffled sound then rises.

My gaze catches the silver reflection of the keys on the ground, fallen a few centimeters behind her. The shock of my voice visibly made her escape from her hands.

Her back is still facing me. She stays motionless.

I recognize her silhouette much more precisely. The first detail that strikes me is her hair, which only reaches her shoulders…and this feeling that she is even more fragile and thin than before as if she had lost weight…

I perceive her hands to take place along her body.

Her left hand then starts to shake mechanically.

I speak again as gently as possible to dispel her anguish and shock.

- Amelia…calm down…I know it’s unbelievable at this moment…but it’s me…Owen…

I can see her breathing becoming more jerky and difficult as her shoulders and back jump slightly, and her strong, forced breath echoes up to my ears.

A little helpless in front of her paralysis, I immediately reveal the truth of the situation, the deception that I imagined.

- The truth is… it’s that I did not die at the Music Awards Evening…

Following these words, her body moves slowly in profile and she turns completely.

I discovered her for the first time of these long months, a few centimeters from me.

I recognize the details of her face, then discover this new haircut that looks great on her…but her eyes escape me as she keeps her gaze down. As if she refused to discover my image.

- What you saw almost two years ago… was a smokescreen…

An unexpected reaction then takes place before my eyes: she lifts her face in a sudden movement. But I hardly have time to discover her as a sharp and loud snap hits my right cheek. A slap where she seems to have put all her strength and anger. I close my eyes for a few moments in shock.

I hear her breathing still strong, but the rhythm is slightly different marked more by anger than fear.

I end up looking up and opening my eyes again.

She is there, in front of me, her eyes red and misted with tears. Her wide eyes reveal a vibrant intensity which studies me…observe me…almost rediscover me.

Her features are hard, her expressionless face. The reflection of hurt and shocked woman.

- I can’t go back, but…

- What are you doing here? She interrupts me, with a hint of aggression in her voice. Does your little smokescreen life no longer suit you? She continues with a touch of sarcasm, behind which however I perceive a sharp pain.

In the worst-case scenario I had imagined, I had not considered her first words to be so harsh and scathing…filled with blame and anger. Despite myself, I am destabilized by the turn of events. I was not prepared for this confrontation…for a meeting so fraught with tension.

A few seconds pass in an electric atmosphere.

I study her face, noticing a new emotion take place…anger gives way to pain.

And it is in a less assured and almost trembling voice that she takes the floor again.

- I can’t believe you staged your own death…after all that may have happened… all that I have been able to experience…

- I know it sounds completely illogical… and unforgivable, but just let me explain…

- It doesn’t matter, leave me alone…you are no longer part of my life… she whispers tiredly.

- Amelia, I understand the show this is for you, but…

Footsteps rise behind my back and a voice rings out, interrupting me in my explanations as a silhouette settles alongside Amelia.

- Amelia, everything is fine?

I recognize Andrew with surprise… and my eyes widen even more when I discover a baby, asleep in his arms.

Amelia silently nods to her question and stretches out her hands to take the baby.

She focuses on the arrival of Andrew and this toddler, behaving like I am no longer there.

I remain paralyzed in front of the scene and these exchanges, taken aback by the flow of information that accumulates and collides in my mind.

Andrew watches Amelia pick up the toddler, kiss his forehead, then finally turns his attention to me. I notice his feature wrinkle for a few seconds, then tighten as he recognizes me.

He observes me a little more intense but remains silent.

Amelia, the baby still in her arm, retrieves her keys from the ground and slips them into the lock.

The door creaks open and she steps into the house.

- Andrew…

A touch of exasperation and annoyance awakens in Amelia’s call, while Andrew remains as if fascinated by my presence.

- Yes, honey, I am coming, he finally responds by breaking the connection with my face and coming back in his turn.

The term of affection concludes to answer my questions and to tighten my heart a little more.

A heavy ebony door closes quickly and gradually in front of me while the gaze of the one, who has haunted my days and my nights so much, refuses me…ignoring me completely, as if to show me that I am only a memory for her… a forgotten past and that she does not want to relive.

Before the door closes completely, a few words reach me as the last connection with this woman whom I have betrayed and hurt deep inside.

- Goodbye, Owen…leave us alone.

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Thank you for reading this chapter and this story. It was a great journey with you guys! Hope you will like it.

I wrote a new story about omelia and I don't know if you are interested and if you want to read it. I can post the first chapter and you will tell me if you want to read it or not!

Stay safe and be happy 💛

[rachelbethhines]

TTS Songs Ranked Worst to Best

Someone asked me to rank my fav and least fav TTS songs a while back, but I’ve since then relistened to the soundtrack and there’s a whole bunch of songs that just forgot about, so here’s a more accurate ranking now that the songs are more fresh in my mind

32 .  Life After Happily Ever After (Reprise)

This song is infuriating, because the finale is infuriating. Listening to this song just makes me angry all over again because it reminds me just how unsatisfying the ending to TTS was. I wanted to turn it off at several points. I barely can get through it despite it being so short. It doesn’t help that the soundtrack leaves all the dialogue in there and fails to actually end the song. It just cuts off before the final note.

31. Hook Foot’s Ballad

Does this even count as a song? Why is it here on the soundtrack but not the Hurt Incantation? Did Menken really waste his talent writing a joke and did the showrunners really waste money and limited resources on this?

30. Friendship Song

Bland, boring, and pointless. It was clearly written as a marketing stunt for the radio disney charts and not as anything to do with the plot of the series. They just throw it up on screen to fill out the running time and don't even let the whole song play through. It’s pitiful.

29. Waiting in the Wings (Reprise)

I didn’t think much of the original song one way or the other, but the reprise is soooo dumb. The plot twist it introduces winds up ruining the whole show and sabotaging both Cassandra’s and Rapunzel’s characters. It’s not even a nice sounding song on it’s own. The kid’s voice is irritating (who I’m sure is doing her best, but really little kids shouldn’t be made to sing professionally as a general rule) and the melody just as bland as the first time it was played. The only reason to like this song is if you’r a mega fan of Cassandra’s or her VA, which I am not. (Note: this is not a criticism of Eden Espinosa, I just don’t happen to follow any of the VAs in this show)      

28. Through It All

I like the instrumentals in this song, and that’s about it. Everything about this song is wrong. It doesn’t fit the story, it’s a misuse of the cast and songwriters, it’s a waste of valuable screen time, the melody is dull, and the dang soundtrack had to throw in that lame dialogue about ‘greatest threat ever’ at the beginning. If you want a pump up song in your story then you got to earn it. You can’t just tell us things are bad, you got to show it. A joyful horseback ride and everyone sitting in a bar safe and sound isn’t threatening or depressing enough to warrant a cheering up session. Plus the song itself doesn’t add anything to the overall story.

27.  The Girl Who Has Everything

Sometimes I think the writers were willing trying to sabotage themselves. It’s as if they were determined to make the only two main female characters in the show unlikeable bitches in season three.   Don’t believe me? The creator Chris has said this song only exists to highlight how much easier Rapunzel has things than Cass and went onto say that Rapunzel was in the wrong during their conflict because ‘she held Cassandra back’. (Oh yeah she totally ‘held back’ the grown woman who left on her own accord, returned on her own accord, and then assaulted and tried to murder a bunch of people for no reason of her own accord.) But this song does succeed in furthering season’s three narrative that Rapunzel is a spoiled selfish brat. Shame the story fails to address this setup and never has Rapunzel learn to be a better person. Rather the narrative bends over backward to tell us how special Rapunzel is without any sense of self awareness and this song falls into that same trap; making it both irritating and pointless.

26. Listen Up

Yeah, I talked about this on my salt marathon, but I just don't like this song very much. The melody is fine but the lyrics are a real miss in my mind. It doesn’t help matters that the song is indeed pointless in the grand scheme of things.

25.  Livin’ the Dream

This is much on the same level as Listen Up as it features the same problems. It doesn’t add to the narrative and the lyrics kind of let it down. I placed it higher just because I like the melody a little more.

24.  More of Me

This song is a lot like the Friendship Song in that it was created to be an end credit song for the pop charts and you’d be forgiven in forgetting it even exists. However, it at least got to actually play all the way through. I think this song was a real missed opportunity. I honestly believe that it should have been the opening theme song of the show instead of Wind in My Hair. It’s more built to serve such a purpose and it’s a waste of resources not to actually use it. Alternatively, I would have accepted it being reworked into the actual series as a character song. Especially since we’re missing a song in season three due to budget cuts.  

23. Wind In My Hair

Speaking of theme songs, I think I would like Wind In My Hair a lot better if i didn’t have to listen to it every episode. On its own it actually has a lot of things going for it; a nice melody, interesting instrumentals, good singing, ect. Unfortunately it’s just over exposed, and none of those elements lend themselves naturally to an intro song for a tv show. In fact the theme song feels really out of place and is edited oddly to fit the shorter intro. 

22. Wind In My Hair (Reprise)  

Honestly the theme song is mostly comprised of this reprise, but it has the opening instrumentals from the OG song frankensteined onto it. This means that the version that plays before every episode is on fullblast all the time to keep the energy up, but that’s not how the song is suppose to go.  The actual reprise that plays in the pilot builds to a crescendo, starting soft and melancolony and getting louder and more hopeful and determined. It sounds a lot better in full because of that.  It’s still too overexposed though. Both these songs would probably be higher on the list of not for the theme song version. 

21. With You by My Side

This song is fine. It’s nothing special, but it’s not bad either. What knocks it down the list is the fact that Lance isn’t in it, despite Lance being right there.  Like don't bother hiring a famous Broadway singer if you’re not going to have him sing!  But that speaks more to the poor writing of season two than anything else. This song also doesn’t really add anything to the narrative as, contrary to what the writers intended, it doesn’t actually enhance the emotional impact of Cassandra’s betrayal later in the episode. The song itself is just tacked on and doesn’t take the opportunity to lay down any foreshadowing for that plot point.  

20. Next Stop Anywhere

Another perfectly serviable song. It’s not bad but nothing outstanding. It gets the job done. It’s also really ho-hum and the soundtrack keeps all the unneeded dialogue, which is a pet peeve of mine. 

19. Waiting In the Wings

Despite it’s hype, I never thought much of Waiting in the Wings. It’s got nice instrumentals and Eden Espinosa gives it her all in the singing department. The problem is it’s too generic. It’s a bare bones basic ass ‘I want song’. Cassandra's movations are weak and unsupported by the narrative, the melody is boring, and it honestly doesn’t add anything to her story. I mean it should, it’s her character solo, but because she’s written so poorly the song just winds up undermining the character in the end.   All I’m saying is that, this is not the song from season two that I would have nominated for the Emmys. But it’s still Alan Menken, it’s still nicely performed, and given the rest of the competition for that year, it did deserve to win. 

18. If I Could Take That Moment Back 

This song is also pretty generic, but it’s less boring than I See the Light, (yeah, I said it, I See the Light is boring) so that’s a win in my book. Ergo this holds the title of the only New Dream duet that I enjoy. But there’s better stuff on this list. 

17. Next Stop Anywhere (Reprise)

Well no, I take that back. The reprise of Next Stop Anywhere is also technically a New Dream duet. It’s still not anything amazing, but it works for what it is. Plus, Adria’s opening dialogue in the soundtrack version doesn’t bother me quite as much as some of the other dialogues choices that were kept in.  

16. Stronger Than Ever Before 

I really enjoyed this song in the moment. It’s catchy and fun, and it finally has Lance doing something rather than ignoring his existence. However it is borderline unnecessary in terms of story placement, and I’m slightly mad at it now that I know that we could have gotten a Rapunzel and Varian duet but it was scrapped for this instead.   

15. Crossing the Line

Keeping with the theme of ‘songs I have conflicting emotions about’, we have Crossing the Line.  This song is confused. It starts and stops, the melody isn’t clear, the orchestration is playing tug of war with the singers for dominance, and it’s basically Alan Menken and the show’s creators ripping off Frozen. (I guess he’s kicking himself for leaving that particular project?)   But it’s interesting. I never heard anything quite like it. It’s memorable even if it doesn’t fully work. It’s got these interesting bits and pieces to it that just never quite comes together as a whole. Some of the lyrics are some of the best Glenn Slater has ever wrote and is far better than the story actually surrounding the song. Yet there’s other lines that are total cringe. Sometimes the song is bold and catchy and gets you all hyped up, and then other times its limp and staggering and feels so awkward to listen to.  Yet it’s not boring or generic and so I have to place it higher than the rest of the songs that’s come before. (Also, there’s some amazing orchestral covers out there that really pulls together the various parts really well, just fyi) 

14.  Nothing Left to Lose

I really don't like this song.  I’ve been one of its biggest critics ever since it was leaked by the marketing team earlier this year.  And yet... I can’t in good conscience place any lower on this list.  All of the problems I have with it are the exact same problems I have with Crossing the Line. It’s confused, the various pieces don't line up, the instrumentals are competing with the vocals, the song’s progression is weird with it’s constant key changes, some of the lyrics are good while others are absolute shit, ect and so forth.  It also actively works against the story it's trying to tell. The song wants you to sympathize with Cassandra, but her lines are as shallow as a puddle and makes her look like a sociopath. Especially when she’s physically attacking Varian through out for no reason. Also neither character learns anything from the exchange and it fails to impact the story.  By all accounts this is a bad song.  But I’m Varian trash.  There I said it. You happy?  Varian’s parts in the songs are fine, good even, and the song is anything but bland. I would rather listen to a mess then be bored to tears by a competent yet standard four chord pop song. 

13. I’d Give Anything

This song is nice to listen to. Story wise it absolutely sucks and shouldn’t have been in the finale at all. But it sounds pleasant.  This is one of those songs that could pop up randomly on the radio and I would just think it it a nice sad break up song. I can’t say that about some of the other misplaced songs in the show. This one however, you can very much, absolutely divorce this song from the narrative and it would be fine.  Now that’s not good writing, and it’s very much a waste of limited resources, but I’m rating the music here first and story second. 

12. Buddy Song

The Buddy Song also absolutely did not need to exist but it also sounds nice. Plus, it makes use of Lance so I’m a little more lenient towards it.   I can’t however place it higher since it really is just Alan Menken ripping off Alan Menken. Like, I would not be at all surprised to find out that this was originally a deleted song for Aladdin or something.  

11. Bigger Than That

What can I say, Lance just gets good songs. When the show bothers to give them to him.  Unfortunately, it’s not the best placed. It kind of interrupts the more important drama of Be Very Afraid, and probably should have been saved for a later episode. Especially since it hinges on a plot point that is contradictory to Lance’s character.    We should have gotten a Varian and Rapunzel duet here and given Lance his own episode in the second half of season three. This song could have easily been refitted into being a bonding moment for him and the girls. That would also have filled out the season’s original songs to the usual eight instead of only  seven.

10. Life After Happily Ever After

Now we’re getting to the good stuff. The top ten. The best of the best.  This song makes the cut for three reasons.  1. It lyrically and musically interesting 2. It does the job of furthering the story and the characters  and 3. Eugene’s part is so damn good.  Like this song could have easily fell down into the ranks of ‘fine but generic’ if it wasn’t for the bridge with Eugene. That puts it over the top and to my mind makes it better than anything from the OG film. (well almost anything, Mother Knows Best is still great)    This is the barometer by which I measure all of the music in the series. Is it better or worse than Life After Happily Ever After? Because this is the level that I equate good musicals with.  What keeps on the tenth spot and not higher is the dialogue that still left on the soundtrack and the lack of a Cassandra introduction. That and also the rest of the songs are just flat better. 

9. Hurt Incantation 

Hurt, Decay, Reverse, whatever you want to call it, this was such a cool fucking concept. One that was utterly wasted by the show.  I place this so high because it just sounds awesome! It looks good too, and it offered up so many possibilities from a story perspective.  What lets it down is the lack of follow up for it and it’s too short. There’s needed to be another verse. It also should have been on the actual soundtrack instead of  Hook Foot’s Ballad.  (The Heal Incantation also was sung in What the Hair, but I’m not counting it since it was written for the film) 

8.  The Girl Who Has Everything (Reprise)

I hate the initial song and the set up that it took to get here, but I love this reprise. It’s perfect. This is what the story needed more of. Rapunzel taking her life into her hands, and her proposing to Eugene would have been the perfect capstone for her arc.  In fact I’m angry we didn’t actually get that. There’s absolutely no reason why Rapunzel couldn’t have done so and we could have had her and Eugene engaged during the second half of season three. How much better would have it been if Cassandra threatened their wedding plans and that’s why they couldn’t go through with it until after the series ended? So much more tension that way. 

7. I Got This

This is a really good song that actually futhers the characters and the narrative. Moreover it’s refreshing to see the heroine not be perfect and to fail sometimes due to her own inadequacies. It’s just a shame that the series didn’t follow through with this set up, but I appreciate the attempt all the same.   

6.  Set Yourself Free

This is the only song in the series that’s an actual satisfying pay off for anything. Music wise it’s nothing too special, but in terms of context it just works. We were sorely deprived of such resolutions and songs with actual meaning in the show. 

5. View From Up Here

This song is too good for the episode it actually appears in. We needed something like this back in season one to introduce Cassandra with. It also sadly doesn’t fit with the wider narrative after season three. However I shall still appreciate it as a ‘what might have been’ type song. 

4.  Let Me Make You Proud 

The only reason why this song isn’t higher is just overexposure and I’ve no one to blame but myself for that. I’ve listened to this song way too many times. As such it tends to alternate between this, View from Up Here, and the next song on the list. But make no mistake it is glorious. Fantastic instrumentals, set up, and of course amazing vocals. 

3.  Everything I Ever Thought I Knew

Yes, I know this plot point didn’t lead anywhere, but it works for this song at least. Also Eugene’s VA is a really underrated singer. He sounds nice and he emotes really well.  Though I’ll be honest, this jumped up to third place because it was fresh in my mind after listening to the soundtrack before making this list. I’ve always liked the song and I do rate it highly, but it can change places with Let Me Make You Proud and View from Up Here at anytime depending on my mood. 

2.  Let Me Make You Proud (Reprise)

This song is heartbreaking!  Story wise it probably shouldn’t exist because it gives away the twist too soon, but who cares, it’s awesome!  Varian’s arc is the most compelling in the show and the only thing that saves TTS from falling into mediocre obscurity; and it’s songs like this that help make the arc stand out even more than it already does. 

1. Ready As I’ll Ever Be

I said it before and I’ll say it again; Ready As I’ll Ever Be is the greatest thing Alan Menken has ever written in his entire career!  If you know anything about the multiple award winning songwriter then you know that is no faint praise and I do not dole it out lightly.  This song is the reason why this show even has a fanbase. People are still getting into the series because of this song. And no matter how many times you listen to it just rocks!   It’s complex, layered, moody, and with a fantastic beat and energy. The performances are wonderful and the instrumentation glorious. It belongs in the hollows of Disney’s greatest hits and not regulated to a spin-off tv show that failed to make its money back.  I weep for the lost potential that this song and this show had. It hurts to know that so many people will never see this flash of brilliance that has come out of the House of Mouse, will never know the wonderfulness that is Varian.  Ah, ‘c'est la vie’, I suppose. Tangled the Series got what it deserved, but it's crew did not. While I can not in all honesty recommend the series in full; I do sincerely urge any Disney fan to check out the songs at the very least. Especially this one.  And that’s it. There’s my official ranking of all the songs, and I hope those of you read my Tangled reviews appreciate the hours it took into making this. 

[coreastories]

The Heartbeat

AO3: Part 14 of Days and Nights of Forever  

One dark day for Corea, one terrifying day for Gon and Tae-eul, but life goes on.

When it's fate, there are no coincidences.

Directly follows 

Corea News: The queen of Corea stuns in London and 

Corea News: A dark day for Corea

I’m so sorry. When I dropped A Dark Day for Corea last Friday, I meant to get this done the next day and not prolong the suspense. But I underestimated it. Sunday came and went and I wasn’t done. 

I spent all weekend finishing this so I couldn’t reply to you guys either. I mean, what could I say to you all wailing at me except that I’m writing, which I should DO, not say, right? 

So here it is. 11,000 words. Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy. 

With thanks to @collectsfallenstars and @pateetsie for support and threats and encouragements and threats and confidence and threats and all the love and swearing at me. 

November was more beautiful in Corea. Perhaps it was unfair to make the comparison because Corea just happened to be closer to the tropics, closer to the sun, farther from the frozen winds of the north, but she couldn’t help it, even if she did have one sunny day in London and that was considered lucky, Elizabeth had told her, especially in November! 

No, lucky was living in this beautiful country, coming home to her husband, and with the view of all these red and gold trees outside the car window. 

And she had breakfast ready when she got home. She grinned. She thought about calling Gon again but he was probably busy cooking, and she didn't want him to time her arrival. She'd already ruined her own surprise by giving in and calling him earlier. 

“Jangmi, did you tell your omma we’re home?” 

“Ye, Mama. And she says she’s got cheonggukjang ready for us.”  

Both Tae-Eul and In-Yeong said, “Oh my God.” They laughed. Jangmi’s mother’s cheonggukjang was a hit among the guards-- and the king and queen.

And after days of British food, chonggukjang would be heavenly. 

“Don’t tell Ho-pil until we’ve all had some,” said In-yeong. “I don’t know how he makes it disappear so fast. Maybe he has a black hole in his stomach and he just pours it in.”

They were still laughing when Tae-Eul saw it. The other car. 

It was barrelling through the left of the intersection too fast. Too fast to make the turn it should make. 

And then, in contrast to that speeding car, everything else went slow. 

In this slower time, Tae-Eul recognized several things. 

One: Jangmi was a good defensive driver and had already slowed and stopped the car. 

Two: The other car could have crossed the road, perhaps grazing their front bumper, but it could have gone past all the same.  

Three: The driver of the other car was too senseless to see the opportunity Jangmi provided to avoid collision. In the grip of panic and trying to control his car, Tae-eul saw him wrenching at the steering wheel with both arms in a mindless attempt to make his turn. Even though it was too late. Even though there was no room. 

Four: At that speed, at that trajectory, the other car would nosedive into the side of their car. 

Tae-Eul laid both arms across her lower belly and prayed to God and the fate that brought her here. Was lashing out praying? Because she lashed out in shock and anger that this would happen to her, to Gon, their child. 

Maybe God heard her, or maybe it was her mind playing tricks to help her cope-- the crash was deafening but it was like a gentle rocking when it came. 

It was what happened after that was terrifying. 

Tae-Eul felt her seatbelt simultaneously loosen and tighten around her. For half a second, she was buffeted bodily against nothing but air before she felt secure again. There was a terrible noise like thunder right inside her ears and something slammed onto her face, stunning as a well-placed uppercut. 

She was blinded and her eyes burned. 

She tried to see what had happened to Jangmi and In-Yeong but she cried out at the pain and shut her eyes tight and kept both arms over her pelvis. A firebrand shot through her left shoulder and she cried out again but she kept her arms where they were. 

That was when she prayed. With her eyes watering and burning and her ears ringing, she begged to be safe. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“How are you? It’s not too cold?”

“No. Or maybe I’m just hot. Go back to sleep. I’m going to bed, too.” 

“Have you had anything to eat?”

“I had ban-ban on the plane. Go to sleep. I’ll call you when I wake up. Saranghae.” 

“Saranghae.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“I loved the music and the story but I was honestly so sleepy. It lasted more than two hours. In-yeong had to poke me several times. I lost count after the sixth one. Stop laughing. I bet you fall asleep watching it before it even gets good.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll call you again on your morning.”

“What are you making for your breakfast?” 

“Nothing special. Just eggs and tofu and I have kaktugi.” 

“Mmmm. I miss that.” 

“I miss you. Go to sleep.” 

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Don’t worry so much. Just think of her as any old ahjumma.”

“Are you crazy? She’s the queen.”

“No, she’s not. Not to me. Not to the kingdom missing you. You’re the queen here. She’s a queen. You’re a queen. You’re equals.” 

“I’m wrinkling my nose at that but I miss you. You should have come with me.” 

“You said--” 

“What do you want me to bring you?” 

“Nothing. Just come home.” 

"How cheesy."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 “How was the food?” 

“Quite good. I’ve had Angus roast, fish and chips, a full English breakfast-- the sausages here are good, maybe I can bring some-- scones and clotted cream-- I need you or the cooks to learn to make that-- cottage pie, shepherd’s pie, crumpets, and this thing they call Welsh rarebit? It’s cheese and toast. And I loved the vegetables in my salads. 

“And the milk and cream here--I think it tastes a little bit like Corea’s. It’s so creamy and delicately sweet. 

“I love their chocolate. Cadbury’s. I think we have it at home, right? Should I order more? 

“I forgot to tell you-- I almost drank alcohol at brunch when they sent more dishes and apple cider to our table with the chef’s compliments. In-Yeong thought it was juice too. They forgot I was pregnant. I was taking a sip and it didn’t smell and taste like alcohol but Elizabeth took my glass and told me it can be quite strong here.

“I can’t wait to eat ramyeon, though. And ban-ban. I’ll have them when I’m on the plane. What are you laughing at?”

“You talked for five minutes about food.” 

“That wasn’t five minutes!” 

“I love you. I miss you so much. I’ll see you in… sixteen hours.” 

“I can’t wait.” 

“To see me? Or for ban-ban and ramyeon?” 

“Take a guess.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m here.”

“What?”

“I flew earlier. I wanted to surprise you. I’ll just drive over. Jangmi was on the phone with Yeong long before we landed so I’m sure they’ve arranged things for the escort.”

“But I was going to pick you up-- all right. I’ll see you here, then. Do you want breakfast?” 

“Oh do I! I want everything. I want moo saengchae and galbi and my mouth is watering and I can’t talk anymore. Stop laughing.” 

“I’ll make everything. Saranghae.”

“Nado saranghae.” 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gon clung to her voice in his head while everything else seemed to ring and clamor in an infuriating barrage of noise.

He had been talking to her less than an hour ago. 

Less than an hour ago, his only thought had been kissing his wife, making breakfast, and holding his wife, his queen, the mother of his child, the best part of his life.

Now he couldn’t get enough air. His mouth was dry and he felt like he’d be violently ill. His hands were fists on his knees and he resisted the urge to thump something.  

He prayed. He listened to her voice from their last conversations together and he prayed. He sat there in the back of his car and prayed as they sped to the hospital. He begged that they weren't his last conversations with her. Begged for her safety. Her safety was his child’s. Both of them had to be safe. He begged to hear that voice again soon. Now. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeong sat in the front seat and tried not to let his brain spirale. He needed facts, not speculations and imaginings. In his ear, he could hear his team as they kept him up to date on every minute detail. Everyone was his eyes and ears. Yeong listened and tried to stay in the present, not any horrendous future. He was trained to look ten steps ahead. But it was difficult in this case. His brain refused to catalogue the unthinkable.  

The king was quiet in the back seat, still as pale as when Yeong first told him what had happened.  

The queen was supposed to arrive at ten this morning. Yeong already had plans in place for the escort going to the airport and back, because the king wanted to pick up the queen. 

Nine am and the PA office would have given word to the media whether or not the press could gather at the airport. Yeong had already coordinated with the airport authority for traffic and crowd control as a contingency.  

He would have received a brief from the PA office and given a brief to the teams at eight-thirty. 

Before seven o’clock, his phone rang. Jangmi told him the queen’s jet was already approaching Corean airspace and the early arrival was supposed to be a surprise for the king. It was testament to how much Yeong had changed-- or how much he had gotten used to the king and queen anyway-- that he didn’t even sigh. He just ended the call, made another, and deployed Ho-pil’s team to the airport in their SUVs. 

At eight o’clock, Ho-Pil called him. 

“Seonsaengnim. Code Orange. Collision with civilian vehicle. The queen seems to not have major external trauma. No... bleeding. En route to CorGen now. Civilian in custody. Also en route to CorGen under escort. Jang and Park also injured. En route to CorGen.”

A pause. Yeong couldn’t speak and Ho-pil seemed to be catching his breath. And Yeong stupidly waited for the punchline. That he was being pranked. Dumb and dangerous prank, but a prank all the same. But all Ho-pil said next was, “Captain, that fucker was fucking soused. I could smell him when they loaded him on the ambulance. I wish I could kill him.” 

Yeong closed his eyes and tried not to close both fists. Wouldn’t do to break his phone right now. “You said she’s not bleeding?” They both knew the significance of what he meant. 

“No. But after examining her for a bit, they sedated her. They said it was because she couldn’t breathe properly and her heart was already working too hard, which would be bad for both of them. She has a bad friction burn on her left cheek from the airbag. The other windows all held except Jangmi's so the queen didn’t have lacerations. In-Yeong broke her wrist. And Jangmi took a real beating. When they were getting him out, they were so careful, but he still cried out. Never heard him make that noise before. And they both couldn’t hear me, Captain.” 

Yeong took a deep breath. Ho-pil’s report gave him information and time enough to get back his wits and his sense of duty. It was his queen, not his friend. Not his best friend’s wife. And he had to go tell his king, not his best friend. 

“CorGen knows to keep quiet when it’s the royal family. And they know protocol. Don’t let her out of your sight.” 

“Yes, Seonsaengnim. And the EMTs already called Seonsaeng Chae. I’ll call you with updates if you don’t join us first.” 

Yeong hung up. He must have drooped during the call because he realized he had to square his shoulders as he went to find the king. He was almost relieved when the king wasn’t in his suite. To make things simple, he asked the control tower where the king had gone. With the queen away, he could be anywhere. 

The control tower answered quickly: The kitchen. 

Right. Of course. The queen had probably already called him. 

When he entered the kitchen, the king was laying a slab of meat on the grill pan. 

“Yeong-ah. We don’t need to leave. She’s already on her wa--” 

One look at Yeong’s face and the king stopped talking. In quick, efficient movements, the king turned everything off, wiped his hands on a towel, and rounded the counter. “What happened?” His voice was clipped and dangerous.  

Yeong told him. He saw the color drain from the king’s face with every word.  

And then there wasn’t really anything else to say other than, “The car’s ready.” 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

CorGen was used to VIPs. This hospital was where high society wanted to be treated. They had six VIP rooms and these went to ministers and their families, athletes, actors, chaebol owners, heirs and executives. 

Royalty was a different level altogether. With the queen pregnant and seeing a CorGen doctor, they’ve opened the seventh VIP room. It was reserved for the royal family, always had been since the hospital opened, but the king had never used it yet in his lifetime. 

While the hospital preened at the prestige of opening VIP 7 at last, no one had imagined VIP 7 would ever be needed yet. 

Because the queen was only at fifteen weeks. 

So when the full force of the Royal Guard arrived at the ER, there was a momentary stupefaction as if everyone was waiting for someone to tell them what to do, or to tell them it was just a tasteless, dangerous joke: it couldn’t really be the queen in that gurney.  

Song-eun, arriving at the ER to attend to the queen, saw that freeze. She had frozen herself. She didn’t realize she’d stopped breathing until she exhaled when she saw the queen wasn��t  bleeding. She had expected the worst. 

And then everyone moved in sync. 

They wheeled the queen straight to the prepared trauma room and surrounded her while the EMT and residents rattled off vitals and conditions. Airway and breathing good. Hypotensive because of vasodilation, CO at 45% higher than normal, right, they would fix that. The queen was already on oxygen and fluids. Pulse ox was stabilizing. 

“Mama, I’m here. You’re with me,” Song-eun said to Tae-eul, this queen who had made Song-eun a friend, a sister. “I’m going to take care of you and the little bean.” 

Sok-jun joined her with two other attendings--neuro and trauma--and they all rattled off directions to their residents and interns. One of them took samples for the trauma panel and the KB test while Song-eun assessed the queen. 

“Mama, I’m going to perform a pelvic exam to check on you, okay?” 

Under the sheet, her hands moving efficiently, no blood, everything normal. Good. 

The queen was already in a neck brace, and she didn’t seem to have spinal injuries as the EMTs have said. The fetal HR monitor beeped steadily. Almost sixteen weeks. Could probably detect omma had been in trouble.

“Mama, you’re doing good so far. And the little bean isn’t upset either.” 

Sok-jun was finished with his own examination and did FAST again even though the EMT’s already did. Song-eun scanned the monitor alongside him. No free fluid. Good. He met Song-eun’s eyes and nodded and left. 

The neuro attending was already examining the queen’s eyes. Song-eun saw what he saw. “Reactive, symmetrical pupils.” Thank heavens. Good reaction to stimulus. “We can check for focal deficits later. Keep her stabilized.” 

Both of Tae-eul’s eyes were red with corneal abrasion and Song-eun winced. She gestured to one of the interns to administer antibiotic eye drops. 

“Get me that KB test result asap,” she said as Tae-eul got the polymyxin for her eyes and an ortho team looked at the queen’s legs, which had ugly bruises. But they were superficial. “Let’s use the Lodox right now and then take her to CT. Head and chest just to be sure." Neuro nodded. "Keep her asleep for another hour. Mom and baby are stable. Let’s keep it that way.” 

She’d just only noticed and recognized Seok Ho-pil when he spoke. He had stood quietly at the door, not getting in the way, but not relenting to be pushed out either. 

“Seonsaengnim, forgive me-- are all those safe for Her Majesty? The CT and the Lodox? What’s the KB test? And can she hear you? I thought she was sedated so she won’t be distressed?”

Song-eun nodded. “We talk to patients under sedation. Sometimes they can hear us. And no, she’s not in distress or in pain, don’t worry. And yes, everything’s safe. Absolutely. I want the CT of her head and chest because that’s where the airbags hit. The Lodox is a full body scan, very safe, low-dose x-ray. I don’t want to miss any injury at all. The Lodox will see if there’s any and we can determine if we need more imaging done then. The KB test is to check if and how much the baby’s hemoglobin transferred to the mother’s bloodstream and we can prevent the potential of Rhesus disease if mom and baby have different Rh blood factors.” 

She looked at the rest of the Royal Guard, all listening intently. They were probably privy to the fact that the queen was a rare B negative. It was why Song-eun had been so afraid if the queen was bleeding. Only 1 in 3000 Coreans matched Tae-eul’s Rhesus negative blood. She could take O-neg, but if she needed platelets… Song-eun shuddered. At least she hadn’t slipped and informed the entire room. But the entire room would probably be under NDAs in a matter of minutes. 

She could see eight guards in total, scattered in the ER lobby, gathering stares from everyone, and three had already moved ahead, probably to check the Diagnostics Room where the Lodox was. 

And then suddenly there were more black suits almost completely covering up the seafoam walls of the hospital. 

Song-eun stepped out of the trauma room and came face to face with the king. 

She had faced her share of devastated husbands in her career and she hoped she never had to look at the king looking like that again. This was her king and her namdongsaeng and it was heartbreaking to see him so terrified. 

She broke protocol and spoke first. “Pyeha, we’re still about to confirm with CT and Lodox about the queen’s injuries, but the baby seems to be fine right now and the queen has passed all tests so far. We just need to confirm and keep them both stable. We’ll do our best. We have everything we need here.” 

The king didn’t speak, just stepped past her and into the room. His eyes landed on the monitors and then on the queen. Song-eun was glad everyone had been prompt and fastidious about keeping the queen under a warm sheet. 

As it was, the king only saw the queen’s face, with those angry red patches on her left cheek and jaw. The king took a deep shuddering breath and released it, hands rising and fingertips pressing to his eyes. 

Song-eun looked away. 

She nodded to the orderlies scattered like discarded umbrellas because of the arrival of the Royal Guard. They were easy to spot in their lilac scrubs in the mass of black suits. The two closest bowed to the guards on the way, bowed to the king, bowed to the queen, and then pushed and pulled the gurney. 

The king startled as if he was going to grab the gurney but stopped himself. Song-eun laid a hand on his arm, and he jumped again. 

Song-eun pressed her hand on his arm more firmly. “We’re taking Her Majesty to the Lodox and then to CT. You can come with us if you like, Pyeha.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok-nam watched Mo Jin-ha burst into tears and wished she could just as easily let go like that. But she couldn’t, she never had, and one of these days, it might kill her, but she wasn’t going to faint this time. 

Not until she heard something that would really make her faint. 

“I’m sorry-- it’s just-- you know how much I struggled before I finally had Woo-jin and this is-- this is awful.” 

Ok-nam patted Jin-ha on the shoulder. Poor Jin-ha had had three miscarriages. It was why she was here, crying, instead of following the king to CorGen. Woo-jin was her little miracle, but the loss of her other children still stung. Would always do. 

“Hush now. Let’s wait and pray. We should hear from them any moment now. And you need to make an announcement before rumors spread.” 

Jin-ha nodded, wiping tears and straightening her spine. Ok-nam turned to the two policemen who had arrived, hoping to get a statement here but instead seeing the press secretary lose the composure she was famous for.

“Drink your tea, gentlemen,” Ok-nam said. “You do have colleagues who went to the hospital?”

“Yes, ma’am. But if we could get a statement from you--when you hear from them-- then we wouldn’t need to disturb Their Majesties.”

Jin-ha gave another sob. “Oh, the poor queen. She loves that baby so much-- I hope she doesn’t--” 

Ok-nam thumped a hand on her chabudai and Jin-ha and both men jumped. “Stop that,” Ok-nam said, ignoring how her heart thumped mournfully and fearfully in her chest. “Don’t think that. Don’t speak of that.” 

The phone rang and they all jumped again. Ok-nam answered it just as Seung-ah arrived and knelt beside her. 

“Captain Jo, what has--” 

“Lady Noh. The queen is fine. No major injuries. They’re still monitoring the queen and the baby. The king is with her. They’re getting her scans.” Ok-nam closed her eyes and sagged in relief. Jin-ha gave a sob of relief and Ok-nam shushed her. 

“Seung-ah has the accident footage so you can see,” Jo Yeong continued over the phone. “We’ve already released it to the police. Jangmi has a clavicle fracture and rib fractures and In-yeong has a broken wrist, three fractured fingers, bruised ribs.”

Poor Jangmi and In-yeong. “Do you-- do you have that driver?”

“Yes.” And that was all Yeong said. Ok-nam heard rage in that calm voice. She felt rage herself. “I’ve sent all information to Secretary Mo. She can make the statement at her discretion. I’ll update you.” 

Ok-nam put the phone back in its cradle. Seung-ah, pale-faced and pale-lipped, raised her iPad but Ok-nam turned away. 

“Are you mad? I don’t want to see it. Show it to these gentlemen.” 

Jin-ha seemed to have already received the same footage and the information Captain Jo mentioned in her iPad, and judging by her gasping over the screen, Ok-nam made the right decision not to look at the footage. 

“I’m going to pray.” 

She took a private, empty, circuitous route so she wouldn’t trail anxious and hysterical court maids and court ladies. She had no time and no patience to comfort anyone. 

In the kitchen garden amongst the onggi, her tears surprised her. She wiped them almost angrily. 

There was no call for tears yet. 

She bowed and prayed. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

The sound is not unlike galloping horses. Maybe galloping horses on the coast, because he can also hear a swishing noise like the wind and the surf. 

Tae-eul is laughing. “It’s so loud and fast! Are you crying?” 

“No.” He blinks his eyes and sniffs as quietly as he can. He sees Song-eun biting her lips and looking amused as she holds the Doppler against Tae-eul’s belly. 

Tae-eul squeezes his hand. He moves his eyes away from the ultrasound screen just as she also does. Their eyes meet, and his breath stutters a bit because her eyes are at their most beautiful yet since he met her. 

He kisses her hand. And with their child's heartbeat drumming in the background, they grin at each other. 

------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Gon listened to it more times than he'd admit. It was in his playlist for cooking breakfast. He even danced to it in the shower. Tae-eul had caught him at it one time and had laughed so hard and so long she had to sit on the floor.

She didn’t tease him about it, but she invariably looked at him and giggled whenever anyone brought up the baby’s heartbeat or when she listened to the file in her own phone. 

He stopped the audio file and put his phone back in his pocket. The beeps of the two heart rate monitors were discordant and so different from the rhythmic gallop and swish of his baby’s real heartbeat but he let those beeps deafen him to everything else. 

He kissed Tae-eul’s hand and wished her awake. 

She was so pale against the cream sheets on the bed. She now had bandages over her cheek and jaw. Her eyelids were rimmed with red. Her brows were slightly furrowed. She wasn’t tranquil in her sleep. 

They’d told him she wasn’t in pain. What scared him was if she was trapped in some nightmare after the terrifying experience she just went through. 

It had been almost an hour or so since the tests were done. The CT and the Lodox both found a hairline fracture on her left clavicle. 

They’d put her arm in a sling for that and kept her in the neck brace in case of whiplash. Everything else seemed fine. Her head, her spine. Until she woke up and complained of what else hurt, they had no way of knowing, apart from the bad bruising on her left shoulder, on her toes, and on the front of her shins when her legs might have flown and hit against the front seat. 

Her blood pressure was back to normal. They’d told him she had been distressed--in the emotional term-- when the ambulance arrived, her heart rate too fast and her breathing erratic, which was why they sedated her and put her on oxygen immediately. 

He just knew why she’d been so anxious and afraid. 

Song-eun walked into the room and Gon blinked back the sting in his eyes. “Noona.” 

“Pyeha. You know Her Majesty is Rhesus negative. We can confirm now that Little bean is Rhesus positive, just like you. We found some hemoglobin of little bean’s in the queen’s circulation so I’m giving her the RhoGAM now.” 

Gon watched Song-eun administer the shot on Tae-eul’s arm. 

So he saw it when Tae-eul grabbed Song-eun’s hand. 

“Mama, you’re awake. How are you feeling? I just gave you a RhoGAM shot. We talked about it before.” 

Gon got up and Tae-eul saw him. She let go of Song-eun and reached for him with both hands at first, but both hands went to her belly below her navel, where the fetal HR monitor’s attachments were. 

The vital signs monitor made a harsh protest. Tae-eul’s heart rate was spiking. 

Gon said, “Tae-eul, you’re all right, the baby’s okay.” 

She looked at him and opened her mouth to speak but made an expression of pain, touched her jaw, and cried out when she discovered the raw skin of her burn there. 

Gon grabbed her hands in his, looked into her eyes and said, “Tae-eul. You’re all right. The baby’s all right.” 

She just looked at him as if she couldn’t understand him. And she was already crying. 

Gon stared at her. Why wasn’t she-- and then it clicked. She was probably still deaf from the airbags. He looked at Song-eun and she had obviously come to the same conclusion. She tapped her ears, and then pointed and nodded at the fetal monitor, already rounding the bed to get to it herself. 

Gon beat her to it. He let go of Tae-eul with one hand and reached for the fetal monitor to turn the screen toward Tae-eul. His movement was enough to make Tae-eul look in that direction, turning her head as much as she could in the brace. 

Gon returned both hands to cradle hers. He bent down to press his lips against her fingertips. He could feel himself shaking with relief now that she was awake.   

She looked at the fetal monitor for long moments. The vital signs monitor quieted but her crying continued. Gon bent over her and gently took her in his arms without actually lifting her up. He snaked one arm under her waist and the other arm under her side. She sobbed against his shoulder and he felt her grip the back of his pullover. 

He pressed his cheek against her hair, glad she was awake, his heart breaking a little with each sob. She shouldn’t have had to go through this. This much fear. This much worry. 

Her sobs slowly stopped until she was only taking deep shuddering breaths. Gon gently pulled back his arms, kissed her uninjured cheek, and wiped her eyes, careful not to actually go near her eyelids with the tissues. 

Song-eun caught Tae-eul’s attention. As if she hadn’t just witnessed a breakdown, Song-eun spoke and gestured at the same time, and she enunciated carefully so that even Gon saw her words as much as heard them. 

“Tae-eul. Look at me. Baby is here--” Song-eun cupped both hands low on her belly, over her pelvis. “Airbag was here--” Song-eun pointed both open palms on her shoulders and mimed the slam of the airbags over her face and shoulders with a slamming movement of her hands. 

“So baby is safe. Okay?” She turned to Gon. “And your car was awesome. God. I have to get one of those.” 

“I’ll buy you one,” Gon said, without taking his eyes off Tae-eul. She had calmed down, wincing and squinting with her eyes, looking between them and the fetal monitor. 

Song-eun nudged him away from Tae-eul’s side and took his place, sitting beside Tae-eul’s hip and leaning forward to Tae-eul. She held up her index finger. “Follow the finger, Mama. Good. Okay. I’m going to use my light.” She shone that light in and out of Tae-eul’s eyes. Then she placed both her palms under Tae-eul’s. “Pyeha, show her to push on my hands. I saw how she gripped your sweater but I want to make sure.”

Gon mimed bearing down with his hands. Tae-eul pushed. Next, Song-eun mimed making fists with both hands. Tae-eul did that, too. Song-eun swiveled her hips on the bed so she faced the window, leaned back on her hands, and extended and raised her legs, one after the other. Tae-eul did the same. 

Song-eun smiled and squeezed Tae-eul’s hands. “Good, good. Just need to wait for your ears to come back. They’ll be back in a bit. You’re good.” 

Gon nudged Song-eun aside and she willingly went, smiling. He pushed the button on the side panel and raised Tae-eul’s bed gently, watching her face for any discomfort from her fracture.

Then when she was more or less sitting up, he leaned forward and hugged her as gently as he could, kissed her on the forehead and on her right cheek. He felt her arms close around his waist, and he pulled back before she tried to raise her arms higher. He didn’t want her to strain her fracture. 

He enunciated like he saw Song-eun do, not exaggerated but clearly defining each syllable. “Are you all right? Does anything hurt?” 

Her eyes went from his lips to his eyes.  She spoke carefully now, testing how much her jaw would let her do. “Why can’t I hear you?”  

Gon said, “The airbags.” 

Song-eun said, “It’s temporary. Around sixteen to forty-eight hours. Is there a ringing noise?”

It took three tries before Tae-eul understood the question, then she shook her head no. 

“Oh, good. I’m glad you don’t have tinnitus.” Song-eun cast another long look at the vital signs monitor, smiled at Tae-eul, retrieved the empty syringe she’d dropped when Tae-eul grabbed her, and left, saying she’ll be back later. 

“Did you catch that? She said your deafness will last overnight or two days.” 

Tae-eul nodded. Then she looked past him at the fetal monitor again, blinking, her eyes spilling tears. Her hands went up to her eyes and Gon stopped her hands before they made contact. She looked at him, wincing. “My eyes hurt.” “I know. I’m sorry. That’s from the airbags, too. Here, noona gave me your eye drops.” 

If she didn’t catch that, she quickly understood when he came back to her side with the bottle he’d fetched from her bedside table. Tae-eul being Tae-eul, she tried to be helpful. When she couldn’t tilt her head back at all in the neck brace, she tried anyway. “Ow.” She looked down at her shoulder and her sling as if discovering it for the first time.

Gon used her bed’s recliner and applied the eye drops. 

“You have a crack on your clavicle. So don’t move your shoulder or your arms. Does your neck hurt? We’re not sure if you have some muscle strain there.” 

“Will you just use your phone? Or find a pen and paper. A… a whiteboard and marker. I’m getting tired trying to read your lips.” 

That return of her spirit made him smile. He put down the bottle of eye drops and started writing on her palm instead. And grinned when she also smiled. 

But when he was done, her lips were trembling and her face was twisting. She reached for him without raising her hands much from her lap. 

Carefully so he wouldn’t jolt her injuries, he moved forward where he sat on her right. He slid his arm around her waist and gently pulled her close. She sighed and entirely rested her right side against him. 

“I can’t believe it. Just-- just my collarbone?” 

He nodded. It wasn’t just her collarbone, but he could elaborate later. 

“I was so scared. I thought it would be worse--”  

“Me too.” He wrote the hangul on her palm. 

“What about Jangmi and In-yeong?”

“They’re okay, but they have fractures. They’re in surgery to fix them.” 

“Oh no. Fractures where?” 

“I don’t really know yet. I’ve been with you all this time.” 

“They’re going to be so frustrated,” Tae-eul said. “They’ll have to be off-duty.” 

“Well, you’ll also be off-duty. You can all be off-duty together.”

“Talk again.” 

“What is it?”

She pressed her hand against his chest. “I can feel your voice.”

“Oh. It’s the vibrations.” 

She pressed her fingertips at his throat. “I feel your voice better here. Say something.”

“Saranghae. I was scared to death. I’m grateful you’re all right. Are you really all right?” 

She nodded, eyes spilling tears again. “You and Song-eun said I am.” And her eyes flicked to the fetal monitor. 

Gon sighed and held her closer. 

“And you’re sure the baby’s all right? What did Song-eun say?” 

This time, he took his phone out of his pocket and typed on it with his arms around her. 

She said we’re lucky you’re only almost 16 weeks. The baby’s still small, and the layers of protection are thicker than if you were further along. You did have to get a RhoGAM shot now, and Song-eun says she’ll monitor the baby for Rhesus disease from now on.  

Tae-eul was nodding as she read his screen. The Rhesus incompatibility situation wasn’t new to them. They’d learned about it in her first screenings. 

Do you have other questions?

Tae-eul stiffened a little in his arms, and Gon thought she was finally going to ask about the driver. Gon had been trying not to think of him either. He had focused on Tae-eul, but now that she was awake and asking questions, the driver was invading his thoughts. 

He still didn’t know much aside from the fact that he was completely drunk. 

However, after relaxing in his arms again, Tae-eul poked the top right of his phone screen and said, “It’s almost eleven. Why am I not hungry? I haven’t eaten in twelve hours.”

Gon exhaled a laugh. He kissed her hair. He loved this woman. He typed, You ate at eleven pm?

“Don’t go there.” 

Still smiling, he typed, I think they gave you something in your IV so you won’t feel acidic and hungry in case you stayed asleep longer. And they gave you vitamins and other essentials. I’ll go ask if you can eat. 

He gently maneuvered her back onto her bed. She sighed against her pillow and then looked at the fetal monitor again. Her eyes suddenly went droopy, and Gon knew her adrenaline spike after waking up had worn off now that she knew their baby was safe. And her eyes were probably tired anyway. With her corneal abrasions, sleeping would do her good. 

“Hold off on the food,” she said as she closed her eyes. “But get me my kalbi.”

Gon pushed the bed’s button again and put the bed back in full recline. He pressed a kiss on her forehead, and then on her lips, lingering there for several long moments. He loved her, he had missed her, and today he’d nearly lost her.  

When they parted, she said, “Saranghae.”

“Nado.” 

He didn’t leave her, of course. Gon dropped on the armchair and took several deep breaths, exhaling quietly. His relief sent him doubling over, elbows on his knees, and he thanked God over and over. A litany of Gamsahabnida. 

Then he leaned back on the armchair and just looked at her. Now her face no longer looked pinched, as if she was truly sleeping now. Once he was sure she was in deep sleep, Gon hit 3 on his phone. 

“Yeong. Ask Dr Chae if Tae-eul can eat. She’s asleep now but she asked about food.” 

“Ye, Pyeha.” And before Gon could ask, Yeong added, “My report is in the Drive. I have a lead so I’m about to leave, Pyeha. We’ll continue updating the doc.” 

“All right. Thank you.” 

Gon took a deep breath and navigated to the Drive. He wasn’t about to leave Tae-eul’s side and Yeong couldn’t deliver the report personally, so this Drive folder, usually for documentation only and something Gon had never looked at, came in handy. 

He saw the thumbnail of the footage and his jaw clenched. As king and sovereign justice, he had to watch it. 

He watched Jangmi approach the intersection defensively, not crossing it even with the light on green because of that suspicious oncoming white car from the left. 

He watched the white car barrel through the intersection-- other cars swerving to a halt. 

He watched his wife’s car stop beyond the path of the white car, just like all other cars had done. 

He watched the white car swerve for no reason at the last second and ram into his wife’s car, even though practically all the cars had given it a clear path across. 

He watched it twice and closed the video before his blood boiling made him throw his phone at the wall.  

He could feel his jaw trembling with rage and he swore under his breath to release some of his anger. It made him feel dirty even though Tae-eul was asleep and couldn’t have heard him. He rubbed his hands over his face and looked at Tae-eul, letting the sight of her calm him. 

He opened the report next. Aside from details that he already knew, like the time and location of the collision, and Tae-eul’s condition at the time of the ambulance response, it now included photos of Jangmi’s and In-yeong’s x-rays and Yeong’s notes. 

Jang Mi-reuk: 

lacerations on the face, neck and arm (left)

Type 1 distal clavicle fracture (left)

Type A oblique rib fractures (left posterior 4th, 5th and 6th ribs) 

Type B transverse rib fracture (left posterior 7th rib)

30% pneumothorax (left lung) 

severe bruising on the left side

sensorineural hearing loss and tinnitus (prognosis: temporary)

Park In-yeong: 

bruised ribs (left)

distal radius fracture (right) 

displaced, mid-shaft and intra-articular fractures of the phalanges (left little finger, ring finger and middle finger)

sensorineural hearing loss (prognosis: temporary)

Gon was glad Jangmi wasn’t worse. He was the only one on the left side of the car, the side of the collision. The other car had rammed the queen’s car a little behind Jangmi’s seat, and even with the car’s airbags and collision safety technology, look at all those broken bones. And his lung had collapsed.  

Yeong’s report says they didn’t know how exactly In-yeong broke her wrist and fingers. Probably from slamming them against something during the crash. 

Damn. And it was In-yeong’s right wrist. She wouldn’t be able to shoot a gun for weeks. The little crack shot wouldn’t like that. 

The next page was about the driver. 

Gon read it all but the only thing that stood out was the blood alcohol concentration. The driver weighed 160 pounds with .25 BAC. 

That was beyond driving under the influence. Influence was about a quarter of the man’s blood alcohol level. What the driver did was practically-- 

Gon’s brain supplied manslaughter. He closed his eyes. No one had died. But someone could have. Someone could have. And if Gon hadn’t bought the safest car in the world, or if Jangmi simply chose any of the other cars in the fleet, where would Gon be right now? 

---------------------------------------------------------------

“SPEAK UP! I ASKED YOU WHAT HAPPENED TO THE QUEEN AND YOU HAVE TO ANSWER ME!”

Ho-pil gestured to Dong-min and ran to VIP 6, the VIP room where he could hear Jangmi bellowing. He found the man shouting at his nurse from his bed by the window. 

On the other bed, In-yeong was awake and looking mournful. When she saw Ho-pil, she said, “I can’t hear it but it’s hurting my eardrums. How’s the queen?”

Ho-pil gave her two thumbs up. Queen was okay. Baby was okay. In-yeong sighed and then winced when that action jogged her ribs. 

Ho-pil marched over to Jangmi, who was still bellowing like a wounded bull. 

He was a wounded bull. His face, neck and arms were bandaged, his torso was bandaged and in thick braces. He also had a bandage over his clavicle where his surgery incision was. His left arm was in a sling secured with straps to keep his shoulder immobile. 

When he saw Ho-pil, he stopped shouting. But he was still yelling. Ho-pil winced. “Sunbaenim. How’s the queen?”

Ho-pil repeated the two thumbs up that worked with In-yeong. 

Jangmi burst into tears. 

“Should I have moved the car and tried to avoid it? It happened so fast. I should have done something.” 

Ahh shit. Poor Jangmi. Ho-pil pulled out his phone and typed rapidly.  

You did exactly what I would have done if I’d been the one at the wheel. This wouldn’t have happened if that other bastard wasn’t blind drunk. The queen is fine. She has a clavicle fracture like you, but not as bad. And there’s something about her getting the Rhesus injection thing because she has that rare negative blood type and the baby’s a positive. Don’t terrorize your nurses. They’re the ones who’ll give you food and pain meds. 

He showed the screen to Jangmi and the great bull calmed down with every word, and then turned sheepish by the end. 

“I’m sorry, sunbaenim. Thank you. But I still want to apologize to the queen. Can we see the queen?” 

Ho-pil mouthed, “Can you get up?”

“Sure, if you help me.” 

“I’ll help you later. Rest for now. I think Their Majesties will let us know if they want to see--” 

Dong-min pounded on the open door and waved frantically at Ho-pil. “Seonsaengnim, the king wants--”

And then the king himself stepped into the room. 

They all bowed their heads. Not just out of respect. The king looked murderous. For some reason, Ho-pil had a flashback he couldn’t identify because he had never seen the king like this before, but his mind told him the king was dangerous when he looked like this. 

And contrary to Jangmi, the king spoke in quiet, precise syllables that made the hair on Ho-pil’s neck rise. 

“Sub-captain Seok. Captain Jo is already investigating that man.” Ho-pil heard disgust and knew the king wanted to call the man something else. Ho-pil already did in his own head. “He has a lead somewhere else. Now I want information on where that man drank all night. If it was an establishment, the owner, and the staff who served him. If it was a private party, who he was with. Call his employers or his employees.” 

“Ye, Pyeha. His family, too?” 

“We already know his family. Captain Jo sent it in. In any case, I don’t want testimony from anyone who might beg for him not to die.” 

“Ye, Pyeha.”

With a nod toward In-yeong and Jangmi, the king left. 

They waited ten seconds, and then In-yeong and Jangmi asked him what the king said. Ho-pil typed it on his phone and showed it first to In-yeong, and then to Jangmi. 

In-yeong had just looked vindictive. Jangmi spoke their thoughts aloud. Real loud. 

“HOLY SHIT.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A loud, grinding noise and the crash of metal against metal. 

The piercing shatter of glass breaking. The explosive full blast of airbags. Brakes squealing. 

Pain and burning on her eyes, her shoulder, her legs, everywhere. She struggled to part her eyelids but they wouldn’t cooperate beyond a small squint. She couldn’t see Jangmi and In-yeong at all. 

She couldn’t hear anything either. 

Someone was lifting her and she told them to be careful, she was pregnant, but if they heard her she had no idea-- she knew she was speaking but the way she heard herself was different. Was she dead and was it this quiet when you were dead? 

She couldn’t be dead-- she was going to have a baby. And Gon would be devastated. No, no.  

Suddenly, her eyes were open and she saw the car coming again as if to finish the job now that the paramedics had brought her out of the shelter of the car. 

Determined that it wouldn’t get her this time, she struggled against the paramedics and ran with all her might away from them all, away from that car. 

But it still hit her and she felt that gentle and violent rocking again. 

It made her ill. 

Suddenly, she realized she really was throwing up over a basin. Her eyes were really open. When she was done, she could see beyond the basin and her sheets. Cream sheets and blankets now being gently and efficiently changed around her by court maids in their familiar uniform. Leaf green walls and cream paneling and a big glass window showing the dimming light of sunset. 

She was in a hospital room, not a highway full of stopped traffic and one murderous car. 

Something cool and comforting was being pressed against the right side of her face. Comforting in contrast to the dull ache she felt in her legs and feet, her shoulder, her face. Everything hurt. 

Gon was beside her. He was the one holding the basin and the towel against her cheek. When he saw she was really done being sick, he passed the basin to a court maid, wiped Tae-eul’s mouth with the towel, and offered her a glass of water with a straw. 

Tae-eul sipped water and swallowed it with some difficulty past the sobs building in her chest and throat. She held off as long as she could, but they came out anyway. 

When she woke up this morning, she had cried with relief. She had been so afraid, so sure that she was about to be told she was no longer-- but then she felt the attachments on her belly and saw the fetal monitor and-- she cried with relief. 

Right now, she was crying from residual terror. She had been a detective. She knew what this was. Only, she had known and seen it happen to others. In colleagues, in witnesses, in suspects. 

Now she knew what it was like. And her detective’s brain tried to feed her with facts to ease her anguish. She focused her eyes on the fetal monitor. Her baby was fine. She was fine. She couldn’t hear but she was fine. She was in the hospital. She cracked her collarbone. But she was fine. The car hadn’t hurt her. Hadn’t hurt them. 

Gon was real, his arms around her, his hand stroking her hair soothingly, and his breath against her ear. 

The sick feeling in her stomach receded. Her heart slowed down. She clung to Gon’s arm and let herself fall back against him, on the familiar shelter of his shoulder. 

She pressed her lips together to close her mouth and stop crying. There was no need to carry on like this. She looked at Gon, drank him in with her eyes, and let that gaze and that nose and those lips and that jawline blot out the last vestiges of that car from behind her eyelids. 

But it frustrated her that she couldn’t hear his voice. She could feel his chest rumbling softly and his lips moving against her forehead but she heard nothing. 

He brought his face close to hers, gently tilting her chin so she could see him. She focused on his lips as they moved. “You’re all right. I’m here. Are you all right?” 

She nodded and shook her head. “Everything hurts.” 

Gon’s mouth curved down. “I’m sorry. Your medication should take effect soon. Noona gave you another dose some time ago. You’ll be fine.” 

She nodded, raising her right hand to cradle his neck. When he spoke again, she felt it against her palm. “Do you want to tell me about it? What woke you up? Was it the accident?”

She nodded again. “Just… I saw it all over again. And everything I heard then. I wish I could hear something else to push it out of my head.” 

Gon pulled some tissues from the box on her bedside table and gently dabbed at her cheeks, careful not to make contact with her eyes. 

He said, “I could sing to you. Maybe only feeling the vibrations on my throat would make it sound better.”

She caught all that from reading his lips and it made her smile. “Go on.” 

And Gon sang. An English song he’d heard her alternately sing and hum. It was like a lullaby. Soft, comforting, the notes rising and falling in smooth harmony. She could hear the song in her head, and her mind added the tune to Gon’s voice vibrating against her palm, drowning out that awful screech of metal.  

“Moon river, 

wider than a mile, 

I’m crossing you in style some day.”

Her stomach chose that moment to grumble. 

Gon stopped singing and looked at her. “I know I can’t sing as well as you, but that was rude.” 

Tae-eul laughed. 

“Come on. Let’s get you fed. You’ve had nothing but liquid nutrition all day.” 

As if listening for this, another court maid came in and laid a tray on the bed. Then she placed and uncovered a black and gold ceramic dosirak on top of it. Tae-eul smelled kimchi and kalbi and her mouth watered. 

Gon picked up the tray and placed it over her lap. She opened her mouth and he chuckled, taking a little bit of everything into a spoonful and bringing it to her mouth. 

“Good?”

“Really good. Did I lose my phone?”

Gon nodded. “It was on the seat behind Jangmi. Why?”

“Give me your phone.” 

She didn’t even have to navigate much. The file she wanted was on the homescreen. She played it at maximum volume. Nothing. 

She sighed. 

“You remember how it sounds, though, right?” Gon asked. 

Oh, she did. But she wanted to hear it, not remember it. 

She wanted that heartbeat to assure her, distract her, make her feel safe and happy again. And Gon’s voice. She needed his voice, too. 

They both ate the dosirak without talking much, both of them retreating inside their own heads, and then Gon helped her wash her face-- with wipes-- and brush her teeth-- with a basin. 

Maybe her pregnancy-safe painkillers still had narcotic side-effects, or maybe she was just tired out from everything. She drowsily played with Gon’s hand in her lap. 

She decided she couldn’t put it off any longer. “Gon. The driver.” 

He looked at her, and his gaze was still the same whenever he looked at her, but she saw the fury there, the hard and unforgiving glint. 

“Tell me about the driver.” 

He took his hand from hers, navigated his phone, and gave it to her with the document open. 

She scrolled past Yeong’s notes on her condition, on Jangmi’s and In-yeong’s, her heart squeezing at their injuries, and then there he was. His driver’s license. Kim Ae-go, 1977 08 29, Gijang-gun. 

The report had been updated an hour ago with priors. Several counts of DUI and possession, the first one when he was 16. When he was 19, he had crashed his car into a house, killing a cat and her four kittens. The case was settled. When he was 24, he had hit a 15-year-old kid on a bike and the kid was paralyzed from the waist down, but the case was settled. Five years later, he was tried for vehicular manslaughter-- a 17-year-old girl and her 10-year-old sister were killed-- but was acquitted. 

“I can’t believe this.” 

Gon looked at her, that glint in his eyes sharper now. 

“This... this son of a bitch is a menace.” 

Gon blinked. 

“Well, now that he has endangered the bloody queen and the heir, he has no chance of being acquitted, has he? You can even behead him.” She slammed his phone down on the bed. 

Gon stared at her, his eyes flickering between her and the vital signs monitor. 

“What? I suppose we can’t have him beheaded just because I was the one attacked this time. He should have been punished long ago. Just… just get him imprisoned for life. No parole.”

In response, Gon’s hand came to cradle her uninjured cheek, and then he was kissing her, pressing and stroking her lips with his, taking her lower lip in his mouth, pulling on it and teasing it with his tongue. 

Then he just lingered there with their lips brushing while they both breathed each other’s air. His eyes stared into hers, and the glint was still there, but it was a different kind.  

He kissed her again, just a quick but still persistent kiss, and then withdrew. 

He took his phone from where she’d slammed it on her bed covers-- now the silk from the palace-- and typed on it. He showed her the screen. 

I wanted him beheaded. But I suppose life imprisonment is more appropriate so he can properly reflect and pay for his sins. He’s already under lock and key in the hospital. No chance of being acquitted, no. And yes, life with no parole. 

Get better soon, my queen. I missed you. And I love you when you’re bloodthirsty.   

She didn’t quite slam his phone down on the bed again, but it was still close. She felt ridiculous about it and glared at him. 

He was laughing as he pushed the button on her bed.  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Gon was shaken, however. He watched Tae-eul asleep in the glow of the lamps, her face golden and beautiful and angelic. Was this Tae-eul’s purpose in his world? Not just a queen but a trap for pests? 

He opened his phone and tapped their favorite audio file almost automatically. The volume was still on the last setting by Tae-eul-- maximum-- and he didn’t lower it. He let it wash over him. 

It sounded like how his heart thundered in his ears that morning-- just that morning-- when Yeong told him Tae-eul had been in a car crash.  

It also sounded like a drum roll before an announcement. What would he announce? That the queen was taking a leave of absence? Could he send her--ask her--to stay in the republic and hope she was safe there?  

He grimaced at the stupidity and futility of that thought. 

His phone buzzed in his hand. It was Yeong. 

“Pyeha. I’m coming to your room and I’ll stay with the queen.”

“Why?”

“He’s awake. He remembers everything. And the Minister of Finance is here.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ok-nam saw the sickle moon again in her dream. And just like before, it turned into a brilliant sun. 

She didn't know why that thrilled her and assured her but it did. 

She was just about to happily sink further in her dream and sleep when she felt herself being pulled to wakefulness. 

It was the phone. She answered it and heard the king’s voice just as what happened that day hit her.  

"How are you? Have they told you everything?" 

"Pyeha. How is the queen?" 

"Better. She's fine. They're both fine." Ok-nam sighed. "Lady Noh. Should one punish severely or well?" 

Ok-nam didn’t even have to think about it. “Do both. Always.” She dipped her head with emphasis even though the king, her little boy, couldn’t see her. “This is how you make things right. This is how you inspire other people to also always make things right.” 

“Hmm. You and your punishments that involve three generations.” 

Ok-nam raised her eyes to the ceiling. “I don’t really do that! You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do. Thank you.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------

The Minister of Finance was prostrate before the king. 

This day was just full of surprises. Ho-pil had just arrived back at the hospital to make a report to the king when Captain Jo asked him to escort the minister to VIP 5. Ho-pil balked at that, disgusted that the minister and his asshole son were in the VIP wing right alongside the queen, but Yeong told him the entire VIP wing was currently occupied by the Royal Court. 

True to the Captain’s word, VIP 5 was empty. 

It seemed to be under renovation. Bare walls. With the minister prostrating on the bare floor. 

“Pyeha, I beg your forgiveness. I am horrified at what has occurred. At what my son did. My entire family deserves to die.” 

The minister was a spry seventy-four year old that Ho-pil had admired. But the man had aged since Ho-pil had last seen him. He felt almost sorry that the son’s sins were being visited on the father. Almost. Because the father had sins himself, didn’t he? 

The king, standing tall with the minister at his feet, spoke in his quiet way. No fury this time, but it still made Ho-pil swear he’d never do anything to warrant the king speaking to him in that tone. 

“I am not going to make accusations, Minister. But your son has been endangering people for more than two decades. He has even killed two girls. He was acquitted. With his priors, the acquittal seems impossible until one looks at the family he belongs to.  

“What do you hope to obtain?” 

“Our lives. We deserve to die but please let my family live, Pyeha. I will accept all other punishments I deserve.” 

The king replied without pause. “So be it. You are henceforth stripped of your title and ministership. You and your wife are banished from Corea. Your son will be tried and imprisoned the maximum sentence. As I’m the sovereign justice, and this time the case is right before my eyes and I hope I’m no longer an inadequate teenaged monarch, I can assure you your son will die in incarceration. Is that to your satisfaction?” 

The minister lowered his head further on the floor. “Pyeha-- my parents-- they’re the ones who coddled the boy. I humbly suggest the punishment extend to them.” 

“Very well. I trust your word. They will join you in exile. None of you are allowed to set foot in the kingdom. Not even to die here.” 

“Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for sparing my children and grandchildren, Pyeha.” 

If the father impressed Ho-pil, the son disgusted him. 

The king didn’t even bother to speak to the gibbering man. What a fucking cockroach, begging for forgiveness without acknowledging his actions. The king entered his room, looked at him, and just seemed to tune him out when he began talking.  

And when Ho-pil told the king that the cockroach had thrashed the server who had confiscated his car keys, Ho-pil saw the king’s hand clench at his side. 

Ho-pil was sure that if the Four Tiger Sword had been at the king’s hip in its scabbard, he would have slit the man’s throat. 

But aside from that small movement anyone untrained would have missed, the king didn’t even flinch as they left the room. 

“Add that to his charges. And place the server in protective custody. I think Captain Jo already made contact with the family of the girls and they’re under our protection as well. Cut off all communication channels of the Kim family until and after the four senior Kims are exiled.” 

“Ye, Pyeha.” His investigation had told him as much. The old Kim patriarch had a long reach without having to step outside his villa. It was just unlucky for the old man he was now standing toe to toe with the king. 

“Sub-captain Seok, please inform Secretary Mo that if there are other cases like this that have escaped my notice, I want them all at my desk by Friday next.” 

Ho-pil stood tall and took immense pride in saying, “Ye, Pyeha.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

The guards at the door of VIP 7 were instead standing near VIP 6. Gon heard the din of raised voices as he stepped past them. The guards had stepped away so they wouldn’t hear. What on earth--

As he stopped at the door, he heard Tae-eul’s voice clearly, and it stunned him because for a moment, he thought she was talking to him. 

“And do you think the republic has force fields that prevent a car crash? I could have a car accident there, too.” 

Then Yeong spoke. “What if you had died? What if the baby--”

“Don’t think that. I didn’t die. I didn’t lose--” 

“Are you going to look at death every day? I thought it was over.” 

“Why do you always make me talk in cliches? We do look at death every day. Anything can happen to anyone at any time.” 

“Don’t tell me you don’t see it. You were used today to finally catch that man. You saw his records. Once he slammed into YOUR car, there was no hope for him. His entire family’s power gone just like that because he happened to crash into the queen this time. That was unnecessary. That was senseless. The king would have caught on to him sooner or later. But look what happened. And because you and I both know you’ve been put here on purpose, aren’t you a little suspicious? Aren’t you even a little afraid?” 

“Of course I’m afraid. I’m terrified. But there are things you fight and stay for even when you’re afraid. You know that.” 

Gon had felt his stomach drop at Yeong’s words, and then Tae-eul’s just knocked the wind out of him. Yeong didn’t answer, so Gon opened the door. He found them on opposite ends of the room, Tae-eul in bed and Yeong standing at the window. 

Both of them looked impassive, although Tae-eul’s visible cheek was flushed. 

“Did I interrupt something?”

Yeong said, “No.” Tae-eul just sighed. 

Gon knew that no matter how tenacious she was, what Yeong said had bothered her. Of course, it would. 

To his surprise, Yeong spoke up. 

"I'm worried about you. Both of you. If something happens to either of you, I'm the one who'll be left with the pieces. I’m meant to protect you. Why else do I remember everything? But how can I protect you from something like this? I’m powerless and useless.” 

Gon took a deep breath and spoke of the realization that had come to him between his call to Lady Noh and his audience with the ex-minister. “Something or someone else will prove powerful and useful then, Yeong-ah.” 

Yeong scowled at him.  

“It’s a balance. How do you think I felt this morning? I was king but what good was that when Tae-eul was in a car crash? But that car proved powerful and useful. Jangmi’s defensive driving ended up powerless and useless but that car protected them, didn’t it?” 

Yeong turned his head to the side, his gesture of thinking over what Gon said. 

“I was thinking like you earlier. It crossed my mind that maybe I could ask her to stay in the republic. But like she told you, that didn’t make sense. And when I found out about that man’s family, everything made sense. You said I could have caught on to him sooner or later-- but can you think of any other circumstance where he would have been trapped so cleanly without escape?” 

Yeong scowled and sighed. Tae-eul said, “I think that’s the longest he explained something without a math reference, don’t you?”  

Yeong sighed again, but this one sounded amused, and the look he gave Tae-eul was full of exasperation. Something Gon was familiar with because it had been directed at him for dec--

Gon snapped his head to Tae-eul. “You heard me?” 

Tae-eul grinned and tapped her right ear. “Loud and clear. Ever since Yeong came in and woke me up.”

“I didn’t wake you up. You were already awake.”

“What about your left ear?” 

“Still fuzzy. I think because it got the brunt from all the airbags and the… the crash.”

“It will come back. I’m glad you can hear again.” 

“Me, too. Give me your phone.” 

Gon smiled, moving eagerly toward her, and Yeong did the same, toward the door. “I’ll see myself out. I don’t like being in the room when you two start smiling like that.” 

Gon clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry too much. Live for today.” 

Yeong just gave him a side-eye. “Tell yourself that, too.” 

Gon nodded. “I do. Everyday.” 

------------------------------------------------------------

Tae-eul watched the two best friends exchange words--too soft for her to hear-- before Yeong made it out the door. When she was out of here, she was going to send Yeong and Seung-ah to Jeju or Pyeongchang so he could decompress. 

Maybe they could all go as a treat to the entire guard while Jangmi and In-yeong were recovering. 

Gon gave her his phone, kissed her, and then retreated to the en suite. She heard him at the sink, brushing his teeth, the clink of the water glass against the counter, and then the gentle thump and soft buzz of his luggage as he opened zips and probably got his pajamas. 

There was the faint noise of the shower door sliding on its track, once, twice, and then the muffled cascade of the shower running.  

She listened to every little noise. She thought she even heard the soft hum of his electric razor. Even the soft slap of his hands as he applied aftershave. It made her smile.  

And then she heard the shift of the sound of his footsteps from tile to carpet, and when she opened her eyes, he was watching her from the side of the bed. 

“I thought you’d have it in full volume but I came out to absolute quiet.” 

Tae-eul snorted. “You don’t know absolute quiet. And I was waiting for you.”

He smiled and helped her move on the semi-double bed to make space for him. It might be a VIP room but the bed still couldn’t be too big to hinder patient treatment. She made sure the space was big enough for Gon to lie on his back rather than on his side all night. 

He laid down on his side, however, with his arm over her waist and under her sling, kissing her temple and her cheek. 

She squeezed his arm with her left and then she tapped play on their favorite audio file. 

Tae-eul closed her eyes and listened to it. Then she remembered Gon dancing to this and giggled. She turned the volume loud and then softer, and the little bean’s heartbeat remained steady and strong. 

This was what she’d wanted to hear all day, what she’d known she would hear soon when she’d heard the soft click of the door after Yeong had entered and it latched closed. 

So when Yeong had seen she was awake and started talking about his fears, she had been calm and peaceful, with her faith a solid presence in her mind and heart, all because she had known she was about to hear this heartbeat again. 

She felt Gon’s thumb swipe at her cheek. “Do you hear any difference?” 

She didn’t open her eyes but she tilted her head a little. Gon’s voice was another thing. “Hmm?”

“This is from today.” 

“What?”

“This is the little bean at fifteen weeks, not at twelve weeks.”

Tae-eul smiled and laughed a little. “Really? I don’t hear any difference, do you?”

“No. It’s like nothing happened.” 

Tae-eul chuckled. “Like nothing happened.” 

___________________________________________

Question/reader reaction to A dark day for Corea: WHY DID I DO THIS?! WHYYY!

Answer: You know that sweet pregnancy trope where they listen to the baby's heartbeat? I wanted it in a flashback in a currently bleak scene. 

And this is what came to me. I did my research and I kept finding things to support what I wanted to do, like the new Mercedes Benz S-class 2021 (to be released in September), the loss of hearing from airbags, and so many other bits. I loved it.

I did drop Corea News ahead so I’d be committed to seeing this through. 

I almost paid for subscription to a medical procedures journal, but I did find specific answers for free. The key is to ask specific questions lol.

If I got anything wrong, forgive me. I could have asked medical people around me, but I’m shy and writing is solitary. 

FACT: Rhesus negative blood is RARE in Asia. There was a sad news item in Korea where a man died because he needed platelets and couldn’t find enough donors. He had B-negative blood. 

All right, let me know what you think. Please drop a line, thank you! :) 

[justasparkwritings]

Illicit Affairs: Clandestine Meetings

Pairings: Namjoon x Reader (barely) 

Genre: Angst 

Ratings: PG17

Word Count: 3.5K

Warnings: Manipulation, Abuse of Power, Swearing, Negotiations and Contracts

Summary: Namjoon has to grapple with the decisions he’s made and the lives he’s participated in destroying. 

Listen: illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

         Namjoon slipped into the conference room, sport coat over a hoodie and matching sweats. His hair quaffed back, glasses on, bag slung across his shoulder. He had been dreading this meeting for weeks, months. Every few years their contract with BigHit needed negotiating, and being the leader, the role of representing the best interest of the seven men fell to him. He loathed negotiations, detested the position they put him in, and absolutely despised the imbalance of power in the meetings. BTS had lawyers, but their lawyers still worked for BigHit. A defunct HR department more so than barristers dedicated to protecting their rights as performers, creators and men. This meeting was going to be worse than the others, if the sinking feeling in his gut was any indication. Not only was their contract nearly up, but they had the precarious position of trying to figure out what would happen during Jin’s military service, which would be followed by Yoongi and the 94’s. He knew the contracts would include some clause or addendum regarding the mandatory order, and he could only guess what new rules management would be placing on them.

           The entire Maknae Line was at risk, none of them would step up and lead, but if the plans to postpone service until Jin turned 30 was available, it would give the other members more time to grow out of childish early twenty-somethings into the grown men they had to be. The only bright spot in all of this was the fact that Jin would hopefully be back before the Maknae were truly alone, followed by Yoongi. Namjoon wasn’t comforted by the idea of Jin leading the group, but that was selfishness and pride speaking. Jin would be an excellent leader if given the opportunity.

          Namjoon was similarly dreading the conversation because a plan had to be created to mitigate the damage Jungkook was supposedly doing, and to inhibit him from destroying everything BigHit had accomplished in the last decade. Namjoon, being the keeper of the Golden Maknae, was going to be forced to sign papers that ensured Jungkook’s cooperation while he, Ho-Seok, Yoongi and Jin were gone.

           The grip BigHit had on the seven members could only be compared to Britney Spears conservatorship. She had her conservators, aka her father… and BTS had Bang. 

           Bang Si-hyuk was not a vicious man in nature. He was charismatic, charming, determined. He was not cruel, and he didn’t gain pleasure from watching BTS squirm. He had created BigHit to craft and groom Idols, capitalizing on the ever-booming K-Pop network and exploiting the talents of naïve youth and feeding on the despair of distressed parents. He preyed on the hungry, the poor, the outcasts, and he turned them into fucking billionaires. BTS was Midas, and Bang reaped all the benefits.

          Bang wasn’t the only one manipulating children, robbing them of their futures, their family, their ability to have any semblance of a normal life. Every other music group and K-Pop mastermind was feeding off of the same labors. Despite the hard facts of the BigHit company, and K-Pop culture, Bang had been wonderful to the boys. He was always laughing and joking with them, encouraging them to explore different musical whims or try new sounds. But he also ran a business, and Namjoon would be hard pressed to forget that fact. No matter how much Bang loved them, they were the golden ticket he’d worked his entire life to find.

          Namjoon was let into the conference room, where Bang and the team of BigHit lawyers sat, as well as a few people from marketing. Joon bowed, gave his greetings and sat down.

           “Namjoon, how are you?” Bang asked.

           “Fine, thank you, and you?” Namjoon was always polite, overly so.

           “Good, how’s Y/N?” Bang inquired.

          Namjoon cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the mention of his secret partner. “She’s great.”

          “Good, now, we wanted to speak to you about Jungkook,” Bang said, directing Namjoon’s gaze to the screen mounted on the wall. A slide show of Jungkook’s misgivings began to play. Namjoon cursed silently. This was the meeting they were having.

           “Alright,” Namjoon glanced down from the screen to his bag, where he pulled out and opened his notebook, pen poised at the ready.

           “We’re concerned with his displays of disobedience,” Bang continued.

           “Can you be more specific?” Namjoon asked.

           “The tattoos, the hair colors, the collaborating with less desirable artists, his refusal to participate in V Lives, his general disregard for the rules, and the growing alcoholism,” Bang listed.

           “He’s having growing pains,” Namjoon tried to level with him.

           “He is grown, he has debuted, he has a contract,” Bang said.

           “Jungkook wants to express himself, and he’s trying to find ways to do that,” Namjoon offered. Couldn’t they find a compromise? Not on the drinking, Namjoon would fully admit that was a problem.

           “Ways that are damaging to all of you,” The marketing team said, side eyeing Joon.

           “Respectfully, they are not,” Namjoon said.

           “Jimin is getting tattoos,” Bang retorted.

           “Jimin is his own person,” Namjoon rebuffed.

           “Jimin is influenced by Jungkook.”

          “We’re all influenced by one another, it’s been a decade, we spend every day together, it’s bound to happen.” Namjoon was growing impatient.

          “You were supposed to keep an eye on him, but between you and Jin, you’ve led him astray,” Bang accused.

           “I’m not sure that’s fair,” Namjoon said, breathing heavily through his nose, “Jungkook is making decisions for himself, he can decide what to do with his body. It’s his after all.”

           “The decisions he is making effect all seven of you,” Bang countered.

           “They aren’t effecting us negatively, ARMY loves his tattoos, they spend so much time trying to decipher what they mean. His entire hand is dedicated to BTS and ARMY.”

           “They do not fit the image of this company,”

           “Then why didn’t you fire him? He is always covered, always. We all are,” Namjoon shook his head.

           “Aside from the tattoos, his desire to not participate in group filmings is unacceptable, and there’s still the problem of his drinking.”

           “Have you had this conversation with Jungkook?” Namjoon asked.

           “Yes, but you need to follow through on your obligations, Namjoon,” Bang’s words cut.

           “Yes sir, I will.” Namjoon bowed.

           “Jungkook needs to know his place if he is to make it through your military service. The four of you leaving in succession will destroy everything we’ve built. Jungkook and the Maknae line will be what remains while you are serving and recovering from active duty. If Jungkook doesn’t know what his place is, you will have nothing to return to.” Bang was an absolutist. Nothing was grey, it was clearly defined or could be with a few lines in their next contract.

           “Jungkook is the best of all of us, he can handle it.”

           “He needs to stop collaborating with low charting American artists, and British pop groups formed on reality shows. It’s lowering exposure in western markets and putting a damper on sales of BTS albums. He also needs to stop getting tattoos. A full sleeve is more than enough.”

           “Sir, what will Jungkook do when he’s, thirty?”

           “Depends what his contract says.”

           Namjoon bowed his head.

           “The Maknae line needs to be prepared for when the four of you are gone. They do not have a clear leader; they spend their time giggling and joking around. Who will step up?”

           “Taehyung would be a great leader, so would Jungkook or Jimin. The Maknae work well together, as a subunit they are strong. They are excellent singers and dancers, Jungkook has excelled at creating videos, Jimin’s song writing has improved ten times over as has his leadership, and Taehyung has excellent taste, an impeccable palate as an art director. The three of them are capable of handling themselves, when Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung are done with service, the five of them will excel at creating their own work.”

           “Namjoon, you seem to think that people want music produced by three vocalists,”

           “Taehyung can rap, so can Jungkook.”

           “What makes you so certain they’ll rise to the occasion?” Bang asked.

           “They have to and they will,” Namjoon said, voice determined.

           “Good, now, your contracts are coming up in a few months, and we need to look at a few details,” Bang motioned for the legal team to join, and they passed Namjoon a copy of their current contract. The marketing team left quietly, bowing and slipping out the door almost unnoticed.

           “Shouldn’t Jin be here? Or the other members?” Namjoon asked, eyes scouring the familiar pages. “I don’t think I should be the lone member in these negotiations.”

           “You’re the leader,” Bang stated.

           “It’s their careers and futures, sir,” Namjoon bowed his head, unwilling to show any disrespect.

           “The decision was made that you were the leader, are you not?”

           “I am but –

           “But nothing, you are the liaison, you will communicate any changes in your contracts to them before they come in to sign them.” Bang said. The lawyers nodded in unison.

           “Are there changes?” Namjoon asked.

           “Yes, we have put a note by all the changes, take a minute to read them.” One of the lawyers said.

           Namjoon glanced at the notes sticking out, how could there be so many changes? His eyes glanced over the first change.

           Heretofore, no member of BTS may publicly or privately engage in romantic relationships with members of the same or opposite sex. Promiscuous or philandering behavior will not be tolerated and could result in expulsion or a financial penalty.

           Any article, Tweet, TikTok or Instagram post about any relationship that a BTS member is engaging in will result in said member paying the fee for scrubbing said incident from the media and any subsequent scandals or fines.

           He read it again.

           “Why this change in relationship status?”

           “It’s not a change, but a clarification,” A lawyer said.

           “A clarification of what? That if anyone is attracted to the same sex, they can’t be with them?” Namjoon raised his eyebrow, unsure who told Bang the Kinsey scale leanings of the seven members.

           “It is to cover all bases,” The lawyers ensured. “To prohibit unfavorable pairings, pregnancies, diseases or most likely, scandals.”

           “How much is this fee?” Namjoon asked, eyes wide.

           “Depends on the member, some ten thousand, others, hundred thousand,” One of the lawyers said.

           “What about me?” He whispered.

           “Your contract continues to state that you are allowed to date as long as it is kept 100% in secret, absolutely private, and should you break up, she signs an NDA stating that she will not speak ill of you, your relationship, BTS or any members in perpetuity. Should she break this agreement, a fine of one million dollars will be paid.” Another lawyer answered.

           Namjoon nodded, the agreement of your relationship had caused a lot of fights, a lot of bickering, a lot of tears. Namjoon had to be certain you were the one in order to get Bang to let him even take you out or call you.

          Namjoon adjusted his glasses before moving to the next note.

           BigHit remains the sole proprietor of all content, music, lyrics, and productions created by BTS. This includes all solo work created on company property, with company studios and materials. All artwork, publishing rights and revenue belongs in perpetuity to BigHit. BTS members have access to their catalogue and revenue through BigHit’s legal team and through written permission from management. All recordings, voice memos, music videos and song samples used in any BTS created content may not be used by any members for solo projects not produced by BigHit.

           Namjoon read the words over and over. He glanced at their old contract, noting the slight changes in the paragraph from their previous agreement.  

           In perpetuity to BigHit.

           Everything they’d ever made, everything they’d ever done, from debut to now, belonged to BigHit. This wasn’t new information, this wasn’t shocking, but in perpetuity, forever and ever and ever… Namjoon couldn’t wrap his head around it.

           “Can I take this home?” Namjoon asked, looking at the team, a cold sweat coating his back.

           “Both copies?” A lawyer asked hesitantly.

           “I need to read through it, to process it, I need a little time, if allowed,” Namjoon cleared his throat.

           “Fine, bring your thoughts to our next meeting. You all must sign this before your current contract is up, and before one of you leaves for Military Service. You have a week,” Bang and his crew stood up, and Namjoon followed suit, bowing before collecting his items.

           As he entered the dorm, he noted the chaotic calm of their living quarters. Though they drifted from their own apartments into the shared space, it was common that in the evenings they would share a meal, watch a movie or play games together. Jungkook was trying to beat Yoongi in some video game, Jin was laughing with Ho-Seok and Taehyung, and Jimin was vocalizing in the kitchen, making what looked like a cup of tea. Namjoon nodded at them waving hello before disappearing into his room.

           He sat at his desk, looking at his blossoming plants, and pulled the papers out, moving from the first few pages to the next tabs.

           He found the corresponding paragraph in their current contract and compared.

           Their current contract stipulated that BTS would be credited as producers only on tracks they produced a minimum of 50% of. The new contract stipulated that they had to produce 75% of the track in order to receive credit.

           The next line stated that lyrical credits only went to artists that wrote 2/3 of the lyrics of every song, rap lines included. The remaining percentage went to the producer.

           Namjoon stared at the page. How would that be possible, with seven members, to receive credit for anything? As he continued reading, he found himself growing angrier and angrier at every page. He knew he’d signed his life away; he knew it years ago. But this? This was tearing his limbs off his body and feeding it to the wolves.  

           He picked up his phone and called you.

           “Hey babe, what’s up?” You asked, chipper disposition finding a way to travel across the globe to Korea.

           “The new contract is, it’s fucking awful,” Namjoon said, dropping his pen and running a hand through his hair.

           “How could it be worse?” You questioned. “It’s like, two hundred pages of absolute bullshit.”

           “The phrase in perpetuity has been used more than once,” He said.

           “No!” You gasped.

           “They added new language about dating and relationships too,” Namjoon told you.

           “With the sub section that you, as leader, have been afforded this one privilege over the others?” You inquired, setting your sleepy-time tea down.

           “You know that’s only in my contract,” He said, a faint smile on his lips.

           “Still, they aren’t changing that?” You hinted at your worry.

           “I’m surprised they haven’t put more stipulations on it: Namjoon can date but only Korean women of a certain age and height,” He laughed darkly.

           “Namjoon can date but cannot spend the night or engage in sexual activity, or any activity that could lead to the creating of a child, including jacking off in a hot tub,” You deadpanned.

           “Namjoon can date, but only if she has no idea who BTS is,” Namjoon chuckled.

           “Hmm, seems like you’re going to an indigenous tribe with no internet,” You suggested.

           “I just want you,” Namjoon whispered.

           “I know, babe,” You said. “tell me more about the contract.”

           “I don’t know what to do, it’s iron clad, they’ve got us where they want us, and they won’t let go,” He sighed heavily, already exhausted and he hadn’t moved past the fifth post-it.

           “They’re trying to get everything they can from you before you guys go serve,” You stated.

           “It just seems so, degrading.”

           “That they want all these things from you?” You asked.

           “That they think they can control us,” Namjoon said.

           “I thought they did,” You replied.

           “I, yeah, yeah they do.” He sighed again, his heart weighing heavy.

           “So, what’s so different about this time?” You asked.

           “They only ever negotiate with me, they never speak to the other guys,”

           “And?” You pressed.

           “And, I have to read this, ask the lawyers questions, and present it to the guys. They’re going to absolutely shit themselves. It literally says that members are required to complete a minimum of six hours of V Live per year, with a bonus given every additional hour completed,”

           “What?” Your gasp was beyond audible.

           “And, if a scandal ever arises, we have to pay to have it wiped from the media.”

           “I mean, okay, that one I can see making a little sense.”

           “Someone must’ve tipped them off to who we’re attracted to, because there’s a new stipulation that you can’t date any one of any sex, period.”

           “Shut up! They can’t do that!”

           “Oh, they did,”

           “Holy fuck, they did… Who told?” You asked.

           “No idea, but they’re going to be so angry,” Namjoon agreed.

           “The discrimination…”

           “The worst part? They own everything,” Namjoon said.

           “Is that different?” You wondered. Namjoon had asked you to read over the contract years ago, when it was up for another negotiation. You’d asked your dad to take another look, his expertise in the industry proving to be useful. He didn’t have anything to say other than he felt bad for BTS, no rights, no representation, no ability to change the situation.

           “In perpetuity, no chance to buy it back, no chance to own anything we’ve ever created, from debut to now.”

           “Oh Joon,” You could hear the despair in his voice, the anguish, the hurt. Everything he’d ever worked for wasn’t his, and he knew it never would be.

           “I feel so, responsible, like everything’s my fault,” Namjoon said dejectedly.

           “Well, are you?” You pushed.

           “It didn’t used to be this way. I mean, it did. They picked me first, they chose me to start this whole thing. They wanted me to help create this band that could be the next big thing. It was all I wanted, to rap, to make music, to help people heal through music, like I did. I had influence on who they put in the group, on why we have seven members instead of five or three… they listened to me, my vision… It was my group; sure, they pulled in Seokjin and gave me a list of people to look at… but BTS was mine. I signed the first contract, I read the terms and conditions, I signed us up for this.”

           “Namjoon, you didn’t know,” Your heart was breaking.

           “I knew better than to sign it all away,” His voice cracked.

           “You were a child, Joon, a child,” You told him.

           “I knew-

           “No, you didn’t, they preyed on you. They used your insecurities, your desolation, your pain, and they fucking groomed you to need them, to be indebted to them. They did this to you.” Namjoon listened as you started crying, your words trying to speak the truth he couldn’t see.

           “But I signed the contract,” Namjoon said. “It was impossible that we’d be anything.”

           “You became everything,” You said.

           “I signed their lives away, our rights, our work… I signed Jungkook,” Namjoon hadn’t realized the tears that had started falling. He let the weight of his statement run through him as the tears, like a winter storm, didn’t cease. “I signed Jungkook’s future away. He has nothing because of me.”

           “Namjoon,”

           “He can’t ever have a wife, he can’t have a family, he’s working himself to an early grave, he has no ability to understand what life is like outside of this, no ties to who he is as a person because he doesn’t know. Jungkook is an amalgamation of the six of us, he isn’t even his own! Nothing is his, and it’s my fucking fault.”

           You listened to Namjoon’s cries, his sobs giving way to the dark thoughts he’d been avoiding for years. You listened to your cries mixing with his, distress flowing between receivers. You listened as he tried to rationalize it, tried to make sense of the damage he’d done. But he couldn’t, and you didn’t have anything to offer.

           “Can you talk to Seokjin or Yoongi?” You whispered, Namjoon’s sobs subsiding.

           “I’m not supposed to,” Namjoon said in between ragged breaths.

           “Fuck supposed to, do you want to talk to them?”

           “Yeah,” He said, sniffling the chunks of snot back into his nasal passages.

           “I think it would be good, healthy for you to share this burden with them. You can’t carry this alone, Namjoon, not anymore,” You encouraged.

           “I know,”

           “Please, talk to them.” You said, voice soft.

           “I will, I will.” Namjoon promised.

           “I love you, Kim Namjoon, endlessly,” You said, the declaration firm and exact as it flowed from your lips. It punctured the air around Namjoon, and he glanced to the singular photo he had framed of you.

           “I love you too, endlessly.” He whispered.

           As he hung up, eyes drifting towards the papers on his desk, he realized the saving grace of clandestine meetings: no one expected you to show their truth.

Next: A Million Little Times

[sleepy-exe]

Shapeshifter AU - 7

Iwaizumi x f!reader

<< Part 6 | Part 8 >>

Summary: Y/n goes to the park with Iwaizumi and finds a shapeshifter friend. Mizuki wants to know about this guy Y/n has been spending time with.

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: none

Genre: sfw (18+ regardless), shapeshifter au, strangers to lovers

Part 7: We Could Be Friends

Y/n and Iwaizumi made plans to go to one of the forest parks nearly a week ago. But due to busy schedules, they didn't have any free days line up until now. This was the first time in awhile Y/n had been to a park in the forest in a long time. Which meant she wasn’t exactly the best guide. Luckily the park had marked paths through the area versus her usual running wild anywhere between the trees. Seeing sunshine through the trees may have been even prettier than the moonlight at night, tucked behind the treetops.

Used to the quietness of nocturnal animals and lack of any people, this area felt like another world even though they weren’t too far off from one of her frequented nighttime spots. Walking alongside Iwaizumi, she found herself almost constantly catching the sounds and movements of birds and small critters that she wouldn’t normally get to experience. She tried not to get distracted too much anytime Iwaizumi started talking. But with the new sounds and different scents through the trees, she couldn’t help but get distracted some.

“I thought you said you’ve been out here before,” Iwaizumi questioned, breaking her trance of the world around her.

“Huh? Oh.” She realized she had really slowed down her pace but quickly sped up again. “Yeah, but it's been a minute. It’s so.. alive here.”

“Alive? Isn’t fall kind of the opposite,” he said, crossing his arms. “And I mean, it's nice out here, but the way you keep looking around.. It’s like you’ve never seen such a place before.”

She laughed nervously. “Well, the last time I was out here I didn’t notice so many animals.”

He looked around, trying to spot something in the trees or fallen leaves, but other than a squirrel and a couple of birds he couldn’t find anything that could possibly be so interesting. But he decided not to argue. “Right,” fingers tapping his left bicep.

Soon they came across a stream off to the side of the designated path; likely the same stream that ran through where she sat with Sakusa a couple of weeks ago. Y/n took it upon herself to lead them off the path towards it. As she sat down in the leaves, Iwaizumi stood next to her, eyes narrowing. “Aren’t we supposed to stay on the paths?”

She looked up to him and smirked before bringing her attention to the water. “So? What, we might get yelled at? It’ll be fine.”

He watched her for a moment, then sat beside her. “I really don’t want to get kicked out of a park.”

She snickered. “Do you think this is any worse than showin’ up after dark? It’s fine! Just sit here and listen.”

He followed her command. “..The birds?”

“Hmm. Yes, but not just those. You can hear the water move, the breeze shuffling leaves, and there’s either squirrels or chipmunks running around the trees and ground.. Just sit here and relax, listening and being in nature.” She looked around to where she heard each sound as she spoke.

But he can’t hear every sound that she can. “Yeah, I guess I can do that..”

She took the chance to stubbly take in the new sights and sounds, getting better attuned with her lively-to-her surroundings. They stayed like that for a few minutes, before she looked over to him and realized he had been staring at her. Her eyes widened for a split second. “Come on.” She shoved his shoulder with a playfully grin before standing and dusting off her pants. “We’re like what, half around this trail?” She grabbed his arm and dragged him back towards the path with her.

They walked along the path for a while. Watching squirrels run about and climb trees, listening to everything Y/n had pointed out.

Her phone started buzzing repeatedly, so she slipped it out of her pocket to check what’s going on.

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “r u out on that date yet?”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “u said that’s today right?”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “when am i going to meet him”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “not a date. i told you that”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “i barely know anything about him n dont even know what he looks like >:(“

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “come onnnnn i wanna see this guy that managed to get ur attention”

She chuckled. “It’s Mizuki.”

“How’s she?”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “as if you and sakusa didnt get my attention”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “what’s wrong with me having a new friend?”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “yeah but sakusa was all but forced into our friendship and i forced my way into your heart so whooo forced this lil friendship-thing? Who do i have to thank for helping socialize our Y/n”

She gave an exasperated sigh. “Apparently dying to meet you.”

He raised his eyebrows and slid his hands in his pockets. “You talk about me to your friends?”

“Mmm.. Well, it's hard to keep things from her. It seems like she always finds a way.” She crinkled her nose as they passed a plant that had a strong odor to her, though Iwaizumi didn't seem phased. “That and she saw me texting ya the other day and had to ask questions.” She shook her head. “The ever curious, Mizu’.”

He laughed. “She sounds.. interesting to have around.”

She giggled. “She’s high energy, but she means well. She’s just curious.”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “wow”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “i am capable of making friends on my own you know”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “uh huh and i’ll get to see him when?”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “why are you hiding him ;P is he that hot that you want to hide him away lol”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “love u”

“Maybe you should introduce us.” He bumped into her, grinning.

“If I do that she might drag you on last minute adventures. Which could range from running around downtown or staying in. But mostly out.” She gave a half shrug.

“That almost sounds like a complaint,” he said.

She waved a hand defensively. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the city and coming out here, but I prefer staying in more than she does.”

“Maybe we should have stayed in then.” He looked her over, noticing she was no longer looking around constantly. “Though you seem.. Not so overwhelmed now.”

She blushed in embarrassment. “Ah- Hmm, I’d say more like.. Deeply enjoying.. This place.”

He looked unimpressed by her poor explanation. “Uh huh.”

She cleared her throat and their conversation paused as they made their way to the end of the path. Enjoying the sights and sounds around them in the process.

“But really, I do love her and love having her around.” She giggled quietly to herself. “There’s not a dull moment with her. I may have to raise her spirits from time to time, but she can do the same for me.”

He smiled softly. “Sounds like you’re good friends.”

She hummed an agreement. “Maybe I will introduce you sometime.”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “love you”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “You became friends in college, right?” He tilted his head towards her.

She shook her head. “Yeah. We were both business majors and had a couple of classes together.. my second year, I think. And well, she has a way of befriending anyone. So next thing ya know, we were friends.”

Approaching the parking lot, they stopped to chat. Not having plans for if their little outing stopped here or not.

“Do you ever do anything other than go for walks or to bars in your free time?”

“I go out to eat,” she said matter-of-factly, then looked around the lot in front of them until she spotted her car. She found Iwaizumi’s green Tacoma several cars down from hers in the process.

He nodded slowly. “Okay.. but if those three things suddenly didn’t exist what would you do?”

She shrugs nonchalantly. “Guess I’d die.” She smirked.

He rolled his eyes and pointed to his truck. “So you don’t want to go to grab a bite then?”

“You have found my one true weakness,” she says dramatically with a hand on her chest and a sarcastic grin.

He shook his head. “Come on, follow me. There’s a little cafe not far from here, if that’s your thing. I can give you the address.”

She happily agrees at the promise of food and they head for her Civic. She drops into the driver’s seat and leaves the door wide open while Iwaizumi gives her the address. Once she has the GPS ready to go, he walks around the car to head for his truck. Kicking one leg outside the car, she texts Mizuki, deciding to entertain her with a selfie of the two from the beginning of their walk.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “here”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “Attachment.jpg”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “ooohh!! owo”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “he is HOT! no wonder you’re keeping him around”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “you met at that bar?? damn maybe i should have joined you lmao”

Hopefully that’ll keep her happy for a bit.

“Hmm?” Blur of orange to her right catching her interest. A gorgeous red fox had appeared while she was preoccupied, walking around the open driver’s door. Her eyes widened at the sight. Foxes typically stayed away from her, but she was almost only ever out here as a wolf, so that’s only to be expected. The fox sat on the pavement, giving her a cheerful tail wag. She cooed, “Hey there lil’ fella.”

Immediately the fox’s ears pulled back, and she swears its face scrunched. Not a minute later the fox swiftly hopped into her car and onto her lap, completely catching her off guard.

“Ho?” She squinted. How strange. She would have never imagined such behavior from a wild fox; though there is a shifter that looks oddly similar that probably would crawl in her lap if given the opportunity. He does have the same set of face markings..

The realization of the situation hit her. “Oh! No no, hey! I’m not alone here!” She quietly scolded the shifter in her lap, looking over to where Iwaizumi had parked but she couldn’t spot his truck passed the other cars from here. “Ah shit, do you need a ride home?” She asked the fox shifter just before he hopped into the backseat.

“Okay, uh, hold on.” She quickly dialed Iwaizumi, “Hey, uh, sorry, um.. No, no.. A friend just got a hold of me and needs me to take them home.. Ah, no! He’s fine, just- ..Actually, can we just change locations? ..Yeah, no, he's remotely close to where you live, kinda, so if you want to go anywhere around there, I can meet you when I’m done or something.. Yeah, yeah! I think I know that place..” She peered into the backseat at the fox. Cupping the microphone and sighing, she whispers to the fox, “You’re lucky I love you.”

Back to the phone, “Okay! I’ll see you there! Sorry, again!” Hanging up, she started the car. “Stay down until we hit the highway. Don’t shift yet either.”

Part 8 >>

[jaskierswolf]

The Witcher’s Companion Pt.4/6

(Other parts on my masterlist/AO3)

Geralt limped down the path away from the mountains with the fucking lute strapped to his back. What the fuck was he going to do with a fucking lute?

He snarled and tugged at Roach’s reins before putting one foot, his less injured side, in the stirrup and pulling himself up onto the horse. The road was dusty and sun was scorching hot in the sky. His head was pounding as the bright light burned his eyes. His eyes weren’t adjusting well from the dark cave to the sudden brightness of the valley. His senses were too alert following the bashing he’d taken by the elves.

Filavandrel had put a stop to Toruviel’s ruthless attacks but the she-elf had been vicious and Geralt hadn’t been prepared to fight her unless he had to to defend his life. As a result he now had a painfully twisted knee from where the elf had knelt on it. It had all been anticlimactic after he’d managed to talk the elf king down from killing him and gold had passed hands. Filavandrel had given him the lute as a way to apologise for his injuries.

He scoffed.

He supposed he could sell it, but he knew nothing about lutes and any merchant with a brain would probably give him half of what the instrument was worth. Perhaps he could try and keep it safe until Jaskier found him again.

He scowled and pushed that thought away.

He’d been trying not to think about Jaskier, the lad he’d trained by the river, the kid so determined to become a friend and a companion to him, and the young man who’d rejected Geralt’s offer. Geralt was used to not feeling much. He’d been trained to suppress emotions from an early age but Jaskier’s rejection had stung.

When the boy had first begged Geralt for a chance to tag along, Geralt had been sure that it was just the foolish dreams of a naive child, but then when he’d stumbled across Lettenhove, Jaskier had been bitterly disappointed that Geralt hadn’t come sooner. He’d given up his time to train the boy because he’d thought that was what he wanted.

Geralt hadn’t intended to see him again until he was eighteen but Destiny had intervened. He’d ran into Jaskier at Oxenfurt and the young bard had treated him with such care and kindness that Geralt hadn’t been able to resist asking him along.

But Jaskier had said no.

He hadn’t been expecting that. He was angry at himself for letting his guards down, for letting hope in. Of course Jaskier had said no. By sixteen he’d started to make a life for himself. Why would he throw that all away for a witcher?

Geralt grunted. “Come on Roach.”

His mare picked up pace into a light trot back towards Upper Posada. He would tell Nettly that the devil problem was solved and head on his way. He’d keep the traitorous lute for now. He’d give it another two years before selling it. A voice in the back of his head told him he could always visit Oxenfurt to see if Jaskier was there, but he growled and ignored it.

If Jaskier wanted the damn lute then he would have to come and get it.

____________

Geralt grumbled all the way down the path from Kaer Morhen. He hadn’t meant to pick up Jaskier’s lute again. He’d told himself he would carry it for two years and those two years were up. He had intended on leaving the damned thing up at the keep. If the bard wanted a possibly enchanted elven lute then he would find Geralt, just like he’d promised.

He wasn’t sure why Jaskier had gotten under his skin so much. He was just a human.

Geralt growled at this own thoughts and spurred Roach on faster.

He was used to humans taking back their word. Why was this time bothering him so much?

He accepted his foul mood and headed back into the world, feeling a lot less rested than he normally did after wintering at Kaer Morhen. Lambert had been particularly irritating this year. The redhead had picked up on his bad mood and had taken every opportunity to piss him off, even Eskel, who was usually more tolerant of Geralt’s moods, had had enough. They’d practically thrown him from the keep at the first sign of melting snow.

The lute was heavy weight on his back, heavier than it had any right to be. It was like siren’s call back to Oxenfurt.

He should burn the damned thing for firewood.

Then maybe Jaskier would let him go, would let him get some fucking sleep.

But of course, he wouldn’t do that. The lute wasn’t his. It had been a long time since he’d thought of the lute as his. It was Jaskier’s lute now. Geralt was just looking after it for him. He’d been looking after it for two years and now he was too fucking stubborn to give up. The bard would not win this.

He made his way to the nearest village and subsequent tavern. He needed a drink, a celebration of spring was the excuse he told himself. The tavern was unusually lively for this far north, especially this early in the spring. He almost turned away when he heard the chatter from inside and the strum of lute strings. He wasn’t in the mood for music, but he couldn’t walk away.

There was something about the bard’s voice.

Something familiar.

He took Roach to the stables and headed inside. His eyes immediately met a pair of vibrant cornflower blue ones. Jaskier winked at him as he sang and spun round in a playful dance. The bard hadn’t even missed a beat. Geralt smiled softly as made his way to the bar, Jaskier had been expecting him. He’d been looking for him, and Geralt suddenly felt lighter than he had in years.

He traded coins for ale and sat down in the corner of the tavern to wait for Jaskier to finish his performance. He was singing a tale about bandits lurking in the forests waiting to kidnap innocent passers-by, about the knight in shining armour who would save them, a knight that sounded remarkably similar to Geralt.

He scoffed and shook his head with a fond smile. Sentimental fool. Geralt was no knight, maybe once upon a dream but that notion had been burnt out of his heart very early on in his life as a witcher.

Jaskier had yet to learn that lesson.

“I was saving this table for a friend.” Jaskier was leaning against a nearby beam and smirking at him.

He’d grown… again.

Geralt tilted his head as he took note of the changes. There was very little left of the young lordling he’d first met twelve years ago. Julian had been raised in a strict noble family, and whilst he’d always been petulant, he’d held himself like a young noble should. Jaskier, the man before him, was nothing like that. He was relaxed and open in his body language, more expressive than anyone Geralt had ever seen, a complete open book.

The only thing that hadn’t changed were his eyes.

Geralt could still see the stubborn young lad that had been determined to give Geralt his pocket money in those eyes. The boy who could not get the grip right on his sword, and even the younger bard that he’d found on the floor outside a tavern in Oxenfurt and who’d later tended to his wounds.

He raised an eyebrow at the bard but made no attempt to move from his seat.

“Sit down, bard.” He smirked at his old friend.

“Always so demanding.” Jaskier rolled his eyes but slid into the seat. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

“And you never seem to stop changing.” Geralt noted.

Jaskier beamed. “Well you know what they say about opposites, dear witcher.”

Geralt scoffed. “Opposites attract. This isn’t one of your ballads, Jaskier, and I’m hardly a knight.”

“Oh, you noticed that did you?” Jaskier’s cheeks flushed slightly but his smile didn’t falter.

Geralt grunted and pushed the drink he’d bought for Jaskier across the table.

Jaskier took it eagerly and downed half of it in one go before launching into a dramatic retelling of his last four years. The bard had been travelling all over the Continent. He’d spent some time in the Royal Court at Cintra before the wanderlust had hit him and he’d ran off back onto the path. After that he’d spent time in temple of Melitele with Nenneke honing his medical skills with the priestess. Geralt interrupted to ask after the priestess, he’d known her for many years, she was always kind to him.

“Oh the sly devil never mentioned she knew you!” Jaskier gaped. “Gods, I must have mentioned you half a dozen times.”

Jaskier grinned sheepishly, his cheeks rosy from the ale.

“Nenneke knows how to keep her mouth shut, a concept that is unknown to you, Jaskier.” Geralt teased.

Jaskier stammered and pointed at him. “Oi! I’ll have you know I am very good at keeping my mouth shut!”

Geralt huffed a laugh.

“Oh fuck off, I mean it, witcher. I’ll have you know that after the temple and dipped my toe into a more clandestine business.” Jaskier pouted.

“A spy? You?” Geralt raised an eyebrow.

Jaskier tilted his head. “Me, maybe, maybe not. You don’t get to know that, witcher.”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Who for? Temeria?”

“Redania. Oh fuck off!” Jaskier grumbled. “I was good at it! Nobody suspects a bard, but I found all the politics and unnecessary bureaucracy a bore so I got out and came to find you!”

Geralt felt himself smile, betrayed by the emotions that witchers weren’t even meant to have. He tried to hide the smile behind his drink but he was too slow. Jaskier had seen it and latched on like a dog with a bone.

“Oh ho ho! You missed me!” He announced gleefully. “Aww, Geralt. I didn’t know you cared.”

“Fuck off, bard.” He grumbled into his drink.

“Nah. I’d rather stay this time.” Jaskier tilted his head and gave Geralt, what could only be described as, puppy eyes. “If the offer is still open, that is?”

Geralt grunted with a slight nod of his head.

Jaskier jumped to his feet and patted Geralt on the shoulder. “Excellent! I do have a room for the night if you wanted to stay or we could head out now. I’ll follow your lead, witcher.”

Geralt considered the room. On one hand a free room for the night wasn’t to be sniffed at, on the other hand he was itching to get back on the path. Jaskier must have sensed his hesitation and nodded to himself.

“Let me grab my stuff and tell them my room will be available.” Jaskier winked. “But don’t go running off without me, Geralt.”

Jaskier poked him on the nose. Geralt blinked and frowned.

Why had he wanted to find Jaskier again?

He smiled and shook his head as Jaskier strutted up to the bar. Geralt rolled his eyes at the cocky young bard. Oxenfurt had treated him well. He exuded ease and confidence and joy in a way that had been stifled when he’d been younger. Geralt found it suited Jaskier more this way. He enjoyed basking in the warmth his old friend radiated. It made the world seem a little brighter.

They stayed in the tavern long enough to get a hot meal and supplies before heading to the stables. Geralt had forgotten all about the lute strapped to Roach’s saddlebags until Jaskier’s eyes went wide and he ran over to the mare.

“Geralt!!” He cried. “What is that?!”

Geralt raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were a bard?”

“Oh yes, well obvious I know what it is!” Jaskier put one hand on his hip and frowned at Geralt. “But why do you have it?”

Geralt shrugged. “Got it from a contract, thought you might like it.”

Jaskier threw his arms around Geralt’s neck. He grunted and stumbled back at the unexpected weight of the bard but tentatively hugged him back. Jaskier smelled like honey blossom and chamomile. He hadn’t noticed that before. It was nice, subtle, not too harsh on his enhanced senses.

“Thank you, Geralt!” He cooed happily. “I love it! Oh gods it’s beautiful. Where the blazes would a witcher get such a sexy instrument?”

Geralt grunted. “Elves.”

Jaskier gaped and cradled the lute in his hands. “Elves?” He asked wide-eyed and then mumbled something in Elder speech under his breath as he stroked the wood of the lute.

“Didn’t know where to sell it.” Geralt muttered. “Thought you’d show up eventually.”

“Sell it!?” Jaskier shrieked. “Oh darling no, don’t listen to the big bad witcher. No, Geralt. Absolutely not!”

Geralt shrugged. “Suit yourself. It’s yours. You have a horse?”

Jaskier nodded to a white gelding. “Pegasus. He’s a bit of an asshole but I love him.”

“Hmm.” Geralt assessed the horse. He was overweight and would struggle to keep up with Roach but it was better than Jaskier trailing behind on foot. “Saddle up. Let’s ride.”

Taglist: @alwenarin @slythnerd @davidtennan-t @flippinfricks @awitchersbard @genkitaco @innocentcinnamonpun @marvagon @elliestormfound @geraskier-trashh @panerato

[sparksinger]

lionheart

lionheart is finally finished and is up on both ao3 and fanfiction.net! 

ao3 lionheart

fanfiction.net lionheart

rating: mature 

content/trigger warnings: suicide mention, pregancy, childbirth, stillbirth. 

summary: optimus prime travels into space to find his creators while cordelia prepares for the arrival of her baby. what he discovers will change them both forever. 

________________________________________________________________

“Our story binds us Like right and wrong Your hand in mine Marching to the beat of the storm”

‘lionheart’ – demi lovato

A steady tattoo was beating inside Cordelia Prime’s skull.  It felt as if there was a vice attached to her head, squeezing it until she thought it would explode.  Inside her mind, she screamed.

Silver hands whirred and rested on her face; an oasis of cool paradise against the fire that seemed intent on devouring her.

“Lia?  Are you in pain?”

She struggled to open her green eyes.  Through her eyelids, she could see the faint shadow of Optimus Prime’s large frame looming over her.  She felt his weight settle next to her on the bed.  Since she’d been ill, Optimus had activated his holoform and had not left her side.

She brought a hand up to her face, that one action an Olympic effort.  It was as if there were 50-pound weight attached to each of her limbs and joints, and to move anyone of them seemed just as likely as humanity making it back to the moon.

Optimus was careful not to disturb the clear IV line going into the back of Cordelia’s left hand as he moved to sit beside her on the bed.

Her usually cream skin was devoid of any colour, not even the faint flush that was usually present in her freckled cheeks.  She sat up without warning and lurched forward, coughing.  Optimus realised what she needed and grabbed the bowl from where it sat beside the bed, simultaneously tidying her auburn hair off her face.

She propped herself up weakly on one elbow as she threw up into the proffered bowl.  She spat out shiny, stringy bile and eyed the contents of the bowl with thinly disguised disgust.  She took a small sip from the glass of water Optimus offered her and swilled it around her mouth before spitting it into the bowl.

She settled back against the pillows, the beat in her head reminiscent of war drums.

Optimus looked at her, his blue optics grave with worry and concern.  He gently pressed the back of his hand to her brow and simulated a sigh.

“Your fever is 101.6 degrees Fahrenheit.”  Wordlessly she reached for his hand and locked her fingers loosely around his.

Another shiver made its way through her body, causing her to involuntarily curl into the foetal position.

“That’s it.”  Optimus declared.  “I’m calling Jenny.”  Cordelia heard the quiet click that signalled the activation of his comm line.

She heard but did not listen to what Optimus was saying to Jenny.  All she cared about was being able to eat something or to even simply move without emptying her stomach at every opportunity.

The discovery of her pregnancy had been shocking enough, but three weeks on, Cordelia was beginning to grow accustomed to the idea.

At her twelve-week scan, when she’d vomited for the sixth time in under an hour, the technician had called a senior doctor in to examine her and he had diagnosed her with hyperemesis graviderum on the spot.

Cordelia kept hold of Optimus’ hand as he quietly chatted to Jenny.

“Yes, if you could come as soon as you can, that would be most appreciated.  No, I don’t think she needs hospitalisation.  The IV you set up yesterday seems to be doing the trick, but her fever is 101.6.  I’ll send Drift to come and collect you.”

He disconnected his comm line with a quiet click.  Cordelia found it within herself to open her eyes.  Optimus’ face was etched with concern, his lip plates turned down in a worried grimace.

He stroked her face gently, using the cool of his hand to abate some of the fire within her cheeks.

“How are you feeling little one?”

“Rough.”  Cordelia’s voice was dry and croaky from throwing up so much.  “Who would have thought that something so small could cause so much aggravation?”  Optimus chuckled and placed his hand over the small bulge that was present in her abdomen.

Cordelia smiled and put her own hand over his, interlocking their fingers.  “She’s not got the best timing, but I want her, so, so much.  I can’t explain it.”

Optimus raised an optic ridge.  “’She?’” Cordelia shrugged and smiled to herself.

“I don’t know why…I just see a girl when I picture her.”

“Is it something you wish to find out?  The gender?”  She shook her head.

“No.  Let’s leave it as a surprise.  Life needs a little mystery, don’t you think?”  He smiled in answer.

Abruptly, the steady drum behind Cordelia’s skull upped in its intensity.  She clutched at her head and scrunched her eyes tightly shut, trying to shut out the pain.

“What time is Jenny getting here?”  She asked through gritted teeth.

“Soon little one, I promise.  I’ve sent Drift to collect her.”

Cordelia nodded and rubbed the back of her hand over her forehead a few times.  “Okay.  Ugh, I’m sorry.”  Optimus lowered himself so that he was kneeling against the bed, bringing their faces level with each other.

“Sorry for what?  Lia, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.”

She made a loose gesture to the immediate surroundings.  Optimus waved her worry away and stood in one fluid motion.  “Jenny has arrived.  I will go and let her in.  I will be right back little one.”  He bent to brush his lip plates carefully along her hairline.

She felt the faint puff of air as he dissipated his holoform to meet Jenny downstairs.

As Cordelia waited for Optimus and Jenny to come upstairs, her thoughts found their way to the kindly midwife.

Jenny’s services had been provided by Joshua Joyce as a way of appeasing his own guilt.  The ranch had also been paid for in full, as well as Cordelia’s medical expenses and that of any children she had, for the rest of her life.

Jenny was a spirited woman in her early forties with a kick-ass attitude.  She was a slim, petite woman with a short, graduated honey-brown bob accentuated by chocolate brown eyes.

At their first meeting, Jenny had put Cordelia at ease right away.

“Hi hon, let me tell you this straight away, I am here to work for you and only you, okay?”

Cordelia smiled at the memory, reaching over to itch the back of her left hand where the plaster securing the IV cannula had begun to irritate her.

The bedroom door opened as Optimus and Jenny stepped through.  Jenny had been informed about Optimus and all the other Autobots and had taken it all in her stride.

Jenny made her way over to the bed, setting her bag down on the floor.

“Hey hon, the big guy tells me you’re not feeling too hot today.  Let’s have a look at you, shall we?  Can you sit up for me chick?”

Cordelia started to shuffle herself up into a sitting position, but Optimus hurried over to help.  He slipped his hands underneath her arms and effortlessly lifted her so that she was sitting comfortably up against the pillows.  His hands lingered for a few seconds before he pulled away.

“Is that okay for you Lia?”

She nodded and smiled at him weakly.  “It’s great, thanks Optimus.”  Jenny turned to look at Optimus.

“Hey, I could use a cup of coffee if you don’t mind?”  Optimus faltered for a second before smoothing his features into a warm smile.

“Of course, Jenny, Lia, I’ll get you some more water.”  Instead of simply deactivating his holoform and reactivating it downstairs, he walked slowly over to the bedroom door, shutting it quietly behind him.

Cordelia listened as his footsteps grew fainter and fainter as he made his way down the stairs.  She turned her gaze onto Jenny, who was busy digging various medical items out of her bag.

“He really adores you, doesn’t he?”  She secured a blood pressure cuff around the top of Cordelia’s thin arm, sticking her stethoscope underneath it before she began to work the pump.

“Yeah.  I’m lucky to have him.  He’s…he’s saved my life over and over, never asking anything in return.”  Her eyes took on a slightly glazed expression.

She wriggled her fingers as the cuff began to loosen on her arm.  Jenny chewed her lip thoughtfully.

“Hmm.  86 over 58.  Not too great Lia – a bit lower than I’d like to see.”  Cordelia lifted her gaze to meet Jenny’s.

“Is it something to be worried about?”

“Not worried as in, ‘you need to be in hospital,’ but worried as in ‘this needs to be a higher figure given the fact that you are sixteen weeks pregnant’”.”

“Okay, so how do we get it to where it needs to be?”

“Medication if necessary, but I want to avoid that where possible.  I brought some medication for your hyperemesis graviderum because you can’t keep getting all your nutrients from intravenous fluids.  When was the last time you actually had something to eat?”

Cordelia snorted, “what, ate something and kept it down?  About three days ago.”

Jenny sighed.  “We need to treat your hyperemesis gravidarum first if we’re going to improve your blood pressure.  You need to be able to eat and keep it down.”

“Trust me, it’s not for the want of trying,” Cordelia sighed and toyed absent-mindedly with the IV line.  “I’m literally eating the blandest food I can think of – I mean yesterday I had boiled rice and chicken, no salt, no pepper and within fifteen minutes it had reappeared.”

Optimus returned through the bedroom door; a mug of steaming coffee in one hand and a plate of rich tea biscuits in the other.  It was all Cordelia could do not to rip the plate from his grasp and stuff them all into her mouth in one go.

Jenny accepted the mug from Optimus’ proffered hand and took a deep swig before setting it down on the bedside table.  “So, what we discussed while you were downstairs –“

Optimus held up a hand.  “No need to repeat yourself Jenny.  We need to find an effective treatment for Cordelia’s hyperemesis gravidarum before we can begin to effectively treat her hypotension.”

Jenny whistled.  “Impressive, were you a doctor on Cybertron?”

“No,” Optimus said with a small shake of his head.  “However, I take any ailment that Cordelia may suffer from very seriously and thus make it my priority to learn as much about these conditions as I can.”

She smiled and tucked the blood pressure machine and cuff back into its little case.  “Fair enough.”   She turned her attention back to Cordelia.  “I’ve brought some medication for your nausea, okay?”  She produced a box from her breast pocket.  “This is Zofran.  It’s one of the stronger anti-nausea medications on the market, but one that my patients have claimed is among the more effective.  And yes, it is safe to use while you are pregnant.”

“How many can I take a day?”

“I’m going to start you on a lower dosage, but you can take three tablets within a twenty-four-hour period, but you must leave at least a four-hour gap between doses.”

Optimus swiped the box up from where it lay on the rumpled bed covers and opened it, withdrawing the little leaflet inside.  He looked at the first side for all of two seconds before flipping it over in a move so fast that it hurt Cordelia’s eyes just to look.

Jenny raised a brow.  “You read all that?”

Optimus offered her a wry smile and folded the leaflet neatly and slid it back into the box.  “All in here,” he said, tapping the side of his helm.

“Again, I’m impressed.  Now – Lia.  I want you to start taking these today and let me know how you’re getting on with them.  You’re to ring me if you get any worse or have a reaction to the medication.  Is there anything else you want to go through with me?”

Cordelia took a deep breath.  “Yeah.  I wanted to discuss birthing plans.”

Optimus stood and brought a chair over to the side of the bed.  He seated himself in it, leaning forwards on his knees with his hands clasped together.

Cordelia looked to Optimus for a little reassurance and he gave her one of his ‘meant for her only’ smiles that didn’t quite reach his mouth.

“I don’t want to have the baby in hospital.”  Seeing that Jenny was about to respond, she held up a hand.  “I don’t want to give birth in the hospital, because let’s face it, this isn’t exactly a ‘normal’ situation, is it?  As soon as I walk through any hospital doors, all of my control will be taken away.”  She turned to face Optimus.  “The world’s media know about you all now, the secret is out, and my face with it.  Once they find out that I’m pregnant, the rumours and the hearsay will start.  Staff at the hospital will be made aware of our…relationship, and I know that you would personally examine the history and possible threat of every single member of staff that would be coming into contact with me.”

Optimus made a noise similar to a throat being cleared and wiped his fingers over the corner of his mouth, as if wiping away an imaginary stain.

“Lia, I will stand by you, however or wherever you choose to have this baby.  I’ve got your back little one, now and always.”

Jenny smiled.  “Okay, well so long as you don’t encounter any serious complications through this pregnancy, I don’t see any reason why you can’t have a home birth.  I do have a question of my own though.”

Cordelia arranged her hair into a loose bun at the nape of her neck.  “Sure, what do you wanna ask?”

“Will you let me deliver your baby?”

A wide smile broke onto Cordelia’s face, lighting up all of her features.  Her eyes tilted upwards; her dark freckles prominent on the pale canvas that was her alabaster skin.  “Of course!  I wouldn’t have anybody else obviously.  Optimus, you’ll be there too, right?”

His optics grew misty as he leaned forward and grazed her cheek lightly with his knuckles.  “Little one, it would be my absolute honour.  Thank you.”

Jenny slapped her hands down on her thighs and rose from the bed.  “Great!  That’s settled then.  I’ll get the paperwork in motion and email the details to you.  Does that sound okay?”

“It sounds great Jenny, thank you so much.”  She leaned down and pecked Cordelia’s cheek, leaving behind a waft of floral perfume.

“No problem at all hon.  Please, don’t hesitate to call me if you have any concerns whatsoever.”  She gathered her things together and made her way over to the door.

Optimus got up and graciously took her bags, hanging them casually over his left shoulder.  “Ooh!  Tall, dark, handsome and a gentleman!  You wanna hang onto him nice and tight hon!”

Cordelia felt blood rush up her neck and flood her cheeks with heat.  Optimus shot her a ‘help me’ look as he escorted Jenny to the front door.

Cordelia smiled to herself and popped one of the Zofran tablets out of its blister and swallowed it down with a tiny bit of water.  She waited for the usual gag reflex to kick in, but nothing happened.

Let’s not walk before we can run Lia, she thought to herself.

She pushed the covers off her body and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.  Her pyjama trousers hung loosely on her protuberant hips.  She smiled wryly to herself.  Great, I’ve actually lost weight while I’m pregnant.  She wondered how many women would want to look how she did at sixteen weeks pregnant.  If only they wouldn’t mind living with the constant nausea.

Optimus reappeared then, nudging the bedroom door shut with his hip.  His optics widened and his mouth dropped open in a surprised ‘o’ when he saw Cordelia half in, half out of the bed.  It would have been funny if she had the energy to laugh.

He hurried over and detached the IV line from the cannula on the back of her hand.  “Lia, what are you thinking?  You-“

“I’m fine Optimus, please.  I’ve got to wash or have a bath or something.  I’ve been laying in that bed for two days and I feel absolutely disgusting.  Even if I just wash my hair.”

Optimus’ hydraulic joints hissed air out from between their housings – a sure sign that he was frustrated.  He ground his lip plates together, working hard to bury his frustration.  “Then please, allow me to assist you.  Please?”

She burst out laughing.  “Oh my God, are you actually pouting at me right now?”  He dropped his gaze from hers and she saw the corners of his mouth twitch.  She draped an arm around his neck.  “Go on then big guy, we both know you’re not gonna let me walk to the bathroom.”

He crossed his optics at her – his version of poking a tongue out.  He moved so that his left arm was secure around her back and shoulders, sliding his other arm underneath her knees.

He lifted her carefully, holding her against his chest, supporting all her weight with his upper body alone.  He walked carefully, not swinging her at all.  He turned sideways to pass through the en-suite, gently placing her down into the wicker chair that sat parallel to the bath.

“Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah.  I think that pill is beginning to kick in.  I feel a little groggy, but I don’t think I’m gonna throw up.”  She paused, scratching the back of her neck.  “But...I do feel really shaky on my feet – Optimus, can I ask you something?”

He knelt, resting his hands on her knees and bringing their eyes level.  “Of course, you know you can ask me anything at any time.”

His voice was so sincere and so full of love that it made Cordelia’s throat ache.  She reached up and ran her fingers lightly over one of his ear finials.  He leaned into her touch, almost purring.

“Can you…can you help me?  I mean with washing and dressing.  I don’t think I’m gonna be able to do it on my own.”

“Lia, of course I will help you.  And please, don’t be embarrassed about asking me to do so.”

She stared at him, incredulity present in her green eyes.  “How did you know?”

Optimus chuckled, a warm vibrant sound that warmed Cordelia’s heart.  “Because I know you better than you know yourself.  Seeing you in any state will never, ever change my attitude towards you or affect my love for you.  I will love you come what may, Cordelia Prime.  Through thick and thin, you have my Spark.  Now and always.”

“I’m just worried about…about you seeing me naked.  I don’t want to change things between us.  I mean, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything, but I don’t love you romantically, and I know you don’t love me romantically and –” he placed a finger over her lips, silencing her.

“Easy little one.  You’re panicking.  Seeing you…naked as you put it, will not change my feelings for you.  You are right – I do not love you romantically, so seeing you in any state of undress will not affect me.  But, if it really makes you feel uncomfortable, why don’t you put your swimming attire on?”

Cordelia smiled and shrugged.  “You’re right.  It’s stupid to feel insecure.  I mean, Adam and Eve were okay about it, even if only for a little while.”

Optimus raised a metallic brow.  “Adam and Eve?  Oh, you are referring to ‘Genesis’, the first book in the Holy Bible.  I’ll start the bath.  I’m not going to let it get too deep just in case you begin to feel unwell.”  He got up and flicked the hot and cold taps on, holding one finger under the pouring water until he was satisfied with the temperature.  “Do you want to test it?”  He turned to look at her and she felt that all that was missing from the picture was a pair of half-moon spectacles on the end of his nose.

“No.  I trust you big guy.”  She watched Optimus as he searched through the bathroom, grabbing shampoo, conditioner, bubble bath and body wash.

He lined them all up along the edge of the bath.  Then he went into the cupboard under the sink and pulled out an elegant glass vase.

“What do you need that for?”  Cordelia asked, taking her hair out of the bun, and shaking it loose about her shoulders.

“It is for rinsing off your hair.  I don’t think that it is a good idea for you to get into the shower just yet.”  He turned the taps off and the water settled with a thick blanket of foamy bubbles resting on top.

Lavender and jasmine scents filled the room as Cordelia began to remove her clothes.  She slid her top off and left it in a rumpled heap on the floor.  Optimus respectfully turned away from her, his hands clasped behind his back.

She eased her trousers down over her hips and wriggled them off without needing to fully lift herself off the chair.  She got to her feet and promptly lost her balance, falling back into the chair with a soft plop.

“Damnit,” she muttered under her breath.

Optimus appeared wordlessly at her side and lifted her easily into his armoured arms.  He kept his blue optics on her face as he moved over to the bath, never once lowering them.

He stepped over the lip of the bath, lowering one foot into it as he did so.  He lowered her carefully into the water and as she was completely immersed in the warm water, she realised that the bubbles covered every intimate part of her body.

The water was simply delicious.  It caressed her tense muscles like the soft touch of an old friend.  She sat up against the wall of the bath, her legs stretched out in front of her.

Optimus filled the vase and poured the water carefully over her head.  He reached over and retrieved the shampoo bottle, deftly removing the cap and squirting some into the palm of the opposite hand.  He worked it up into a lather and started rubbing it slowly into her scalp.  He worked in slow circles, slowly growing bigger and bigger as he made his way from the crown of her head down to the nape of her neck.  No words were exchanged between them because they had already said all that had needed to be said.

She leaned backwards into the ecstasy that was his touch, relishing in the simplicity of it.  He ran his hands through her hair, working the shampoo into every strand.  “I love your hair, it’s so soft.  It takes on an entirely different texture when it’s wet.”

Cordelia snorted, turning to face him.  “Do you realise what you just said?”

He met her gaze with a perfect poker face.  “I’m perfectly aware of what I just said.”  His optics tilted upwards in one of his wry grins.  She chuckled and turned back around.

Optimus rinsed her hair, holding his hand over her brow so that the bubbles from the shampoo wouldn’t go into her eyes.  While Optimus was working the conditioner through the ends of her hair, Cordelia began to wash with the honey and vanilla scented body wash.  She grabbed the flannel and worked it over and under her arms and legs before washing in between her legs.

Optimus rinsed the last of the conditioner from her hair.  “Are you ready to get out little one?”

“Yeah.  I feel so much better already.  It’s amazing what a bath can do.”  He helped her out of the bath and wrapped a fluffy blue towel around her shoulders.

He darted into the bedroom and returned seconds later with a fresh t-shirt, underwear and sweatpants.  Cordelia used his proffered arm to balance while she quickly dried and dressed herself.  She wrapped her wet hair into the towel and turned to face Optimus.

“May I dry your hair?”  Cordelia went into the dressing table drawer and pulled out the hairdryer and a round brush.

“Sure!  Knock yourself out.”  She sat down in the chair he so graciously pulled out for her.

She watched his reflection in the mirror, the way his hands gently rubbed the worst of the damp out of her hair with the towel.  He began to guide the brush in smooth strokes through her dark hair, brushing back the shorter pieces of hair that had been her fringe a month ago.

She’d decided to let it grow out.  Being pregnant seemed to have kicked her hair growth into overdrive, and she’d put on two inches in the last six weeks alone.  Not to mention it was much thicker and shinier than it had ever been before.

He turned the hairdryer on and separated the hair into sections, his optics intent on the task at hand.  She watched as he brushed her hair down and under.

Twenty minutes later, he took out the section clip and let her hair fall in loose auburn waves about her shoulders.  He arranged it so that some was sitting evenly on her shoulders.  She looked at him in the mirror.

“Well, I’ll just have to start calling you Vidal Sassoon!”  At his confused expression, she waved her hand dismissively.  “Don’t worry; it doesn’t matter.”

She pushed the chair out from beneath her and moved to gingerly stand.  Optimus’ hands hovered nervously near her arms, ready to catch her should she need him.  At that moment, her stomach decided to emit a thunderous rumble.  “Oh my God, I’m so hungry.”  Optimus swept her up into his arms.

“Allow me to rectify that then,” he said with a wink.  He carried her down the stairs and set her down on the plush leather couch.  “What takes your fancy?”  He clapped his hands together, his metal palms making a soft pinging sound.

“Hmm…something salty?”

“I think I may have just the thing – a cheese and bacon omelette?”  Cordelia’s mouth started to water.

“Oh my God, yes please.  That sounds amazing.”

He grinned at her and then set to work in the kitchen.  Cordelia rose slowly up off the couch and made her way slowly through to the kitchen.

She sat herself in one of the oak dining chairs and leaned forward on her knees, watching Optimus as he prepped the necessary ingredients for her omelette.

He tapped three eggs open with his index finger and poured them into a jug.  He produced a whisk and began to stir the eggs in a whir of red, blue and silver.  The frying pan on the hob began to spit lightly.  He placed the jug down on the worktop and tossed in the bacon and tomato, seasoning it with salt and pepper.  He poured in the eggs and added a splash of milk.  The contents of the pan sizzled when he added the grated cheese.

The ingredients began to bind together, and just as Cordelia thought it was done, Optimus swiped the pan off the hob and stuck it under the grill.

“That’s the secret; it gets cooked evenly on the top and the bottom.  It also disperses the flavour more effectively.”  He grasped the pan and slid the omelette out of it and onto a plate with more flourish than even the most qualified chef.

He set it down before her with a glass of water.  “Bon appetit!”  He proclaimed, theatrically kissing his fingers with a soft click of his lip plates.

“Oh my God Optimus, you are such a dork,” she said as she dug her fork into the yellow mixture.  She popped a mouthful in, and it was gooey and mushy in all the right places.  The flavours exploded in her mouth, the strong taste of salt from the bacon and the sweet tangy taste from the tomatoes.

She finished it in record time, placing her knife and fork down on the plate.  She waited nervously for the usual feeling of nausea to claw its way up her throat, but nothing came.  Optimus cleared the table and began washing up.

“Did you enjoy that little one?”

She nodded.  “Yes, thank you.  It was absolutely delicious.”

“Are you feeling nauseous at all?”

“No thankfully.  I think those pills are doing the trick.”

“That is marvellous.  I’m so glad they are making a difference already.”  He dried the frying pan and hung it back up on the rack above the sink.

Optimus walked over to the couch and sat down on it, patting the vacant space next to him.  “Do you want to watch The Green Mile?”  In answer, Cordelia grabbed the thick blanket from the back of the couch and draped it around herself before sitting against Optimus.

His arms moved to fit her body and he sat with his chin resting gently on top of her head.  His left hand found its way down to the faint bulge in her abdomen, resting loosely on top.

Suddenly, Cordelia felt a fluttering sensation behind her naval.  She and Optimus shot into sitting positions at the same time.

His face was full of wonder.  “Did you just…”

“Feel that?”  She finished, slightly breathless.

Each of their faces broke into a wide smile and they embraced each other, rejoicing in the first movements of Cordelia’s baby.

[femmeconduit]

Forecast for 2021

Note: This is a tarot and energy reading to forecast 2021 and should be considered a general reading, where it may not resonate for every individual. I’m a clairvoyant who woke up this morning with a weight like, “BING! Time to read!” and it knocked me on my ass so here I am, hoping the message will get to the person(s) it’s intended for. I don’t usually share collective messages on here because I’ve spent most of 2020 on my solo shadow work, but this message felt important so here goes.

Placing a cut for length (it’s nearly 2k overall):

Overall Vibe for 2021: Seven of Pentacles, Four of Wands

This brings me some relief as a reader because every New Year there’s usually a swell of jumping in with both feet and it can be a bit reckless. We don’t have that here. What we have for 2021 is cautious optimism, a sense of pause, to wait and see whether all the effort and emotional purging, all the hard work we put into 2020 is going to pay off this year.

The outcome of whether all the 2020 work is truly going to pay off is not clear to me right now. The energies are anxious on January 1st (at the time of this forecast), but one thread I’m picking up on is a sense of hope that all of the work we’ve done on ourselves in 2020 wasn’t for nothing--especially when it comes to connecting with others we love. Family, friends, and romantic partners who weathered through the worst of 2020 and bared their true selves together do show a strengthening of bonds in 2021. That will make the cautious optimism of waiting for the payoff easier to weather.

Overall, there isn't a blind expectation that everything is going to fall into place and that’s refreshing. I think it’s fair to say many of us had that in January of 2020, but much has changed and in 2021 many have moved away from that outlook. The hope for prosperity hasn’t fully diminished, but it’s more reserved and held closer to the chest than before. The strongest vibe is definitely, “We’ll wait and see” without fully committing to a view. It feels similarly to how sports fans feel at the beginning of a season when no games have been played.

Love in 2021: Four of Swords

Whoa! This is definitely not the hot & spicy vibes I’ve seen in other forecasts and I’m here quirking my eyebrow like, “ho hoo hooooo REALLY NOW?!?!” I resisted the urge to pull clarifiers since this is a collective reading. In a private reading, I would have jumped in this one. Anyways...

This is a sign that romantic standards have gone way up. Standards of lasting connection, what people are willing to put up with when forming partnerships, have raised the bar. And it feels like an ironclad “you’re in or you’re out” energy like someone would sooner slam the door than forgive and give second and third chances. I hear, “SHAPE UP!” 

When the pandemic is over and there are more opportunities to date in-person, many will be going in with their guard up and their list of must-haves. Don’t get me wrong; connections can be made in the heat of finally having human contact again, but the choice of whether to be exclusive and commit will have a higher threshold to meet. New partnerships will form only after both parties are sure the other can weather the kind of storms we saw in 2020 and I don’t feel those standards slipping just because someone may feel lonely. 

On a related note, I sense a lot of pre-occupation over physical safety being one of the forces behind the heightened standards. What if that hot stranger never wore the mask over their nose in 2020? It sounds a little silly but some of those thoughts will be floating around up there on the first date. The pandemic caused a lot of isolation where one may be stuck with a partner in limited space for a really long time. For 2021, people will want to make sure that the person that they're attaching to is someone who is going to truly be there in all of the ways that are needed and safe (hence the high standards).

I do feel a strong emotional yearning for love and connection (especially for singles), but it doesn’t feel stronger than the need to protect oneself. Even when the bars are open, some will be less willing to take the risks they may have taken in 2018/2019. I’m not picking up this risk in a physical sense like STIs, but more in the head & heart. Emotional risks will be considered more heavily when dating, especially for those who may have experienced a brutal wake-up call in their previous relationships in 2020. The partnered people who are still in unwanted relationships in 2021 will use that heightened standard energy to break things off, especially if the dating pool looks safer later in the year and they see the high standards paying off for their single friends.

Economy/Career in 2021: Page of Swords

This energy feels FRESH and forward-moving and I’m loving it. I see a lot of new business start-ups, especially home-based businesses that operate exclusively online. It feels like a rebirth of the cottage industry (any fellow historians who’ve studied labor history may be getting really excited about how this may impact other areas).

I see a yearning to branch out and make one’s mark, but it's not coming from a place of emotional fulfillment or sense of higher purpose. It’s coming from a place of, “This is what I need to protect my family and this is what I need to get what I want.” Feels heavy and I see earth and fire sign placements. Side hustles will grow to meet this energy, especially for those who may have endured a lot of economic challenges in 2020. The fear of potential loss in 2021 is going to fuel some of this, as many workers no longer feel protected and supported by their employers. Showing true colors in 2020 will have 2021 consequences. A lot of self-centering, self-protection energy means branching out to new jobs, new business, and new ways of earning (such as passive income).

Related to these changes, there will be new attempts to meet the growing demands of working from home. Will they all be successful? With the Page energy, I don’t think so. Some of this will be like throwing spaghetti and seeing what sticks and I feel embarrassed with this energy. Maybe someone comes out with an app that looks really tacky and fumbles hard. However, with the forward moving energy coming largely from the bottom in a decentralized way, I think there will be some successes. The ones who have been overburdened by that unfulfilling corporate job may just snap and run with that big idea they’ve been ruminating on all year in 2020. And with the Page, they’ll learn as they go along because they don't want to wait anymore.

What to Watch Out For in 2021: 10 of Wands

Be careful not to take on too much at once. All the forward movement energy, especially early in the year, will increase the risk of overburdening people who don’t keep their wants and needs in balance. There hasn’t been enough rest, reflection, or recovery on the collective level so the chances of frying oneself are high. I see a blonde woman with dry hair having an outburst in a public place (looks like a Target) and pulling her hair out with crazy eyes. She’s snapped, not because she’s deranged, but because she hit her breaking point and didn’t maintain the tools to decompress that shit. Yikes.

With 2020’s emotional and psychological challenges, many will want to fire off with all engines in 2021, but I wouldn’t recommend that with this Ten of Wands. It feels like “I did too much, I thought I could handle it,” exhaustion when one bites off more than they could chew. It’s important to stress that there’s no way one can undo all of 2020’s damage in a couple months in 2021 based on what I’m feeling with this card. Ten of Wands can be emotionally unstable to the point of causing problems with one’s physical health. Energy-sensitive people especially vulnerable here if they miscalculate how much they can handle early in the year. Maintaining balance within the self (eating healthy, self-care, etc.) is everything while one works on moving forward. You don’t have to stay still and do nothing, but you can take and should remember to eat, you know?

What We Have to Look Forward to in 2021: Queen of Pentacles (Reversed)

No surprises here: a reframing of our collective beliefs about money. The value of money, how we use money, how we approach money is going to change in 2021. It’s coming through as a positive because it’s a lesson learned. I’m seeing a lot of headlines about funding and law enforcement flashing. Queen of Pentacles in Reverse can come through as a negative card, but in this forecast it’s an overall lack of trust that drives the forces of positive change. Collectively, there is an understanding that the support structures we need--especially economically--don't exist, at least not in the way we need them to. And it's going to force us to reframe and make adjustments to our economic structure, even if it’s something small like opening up a high-interest savings account.

On a small scale, this energy will change how we save money and build it. Given the economic forecast, I see this impacting small businesses and small investors looking to increase their revenue streams. The sense of distrust where money is concerned will compel us to innovate and make smarter decisions than we made in 2020. Saving money keeps getting repeated. 

On a large scale, this energy may impact beliefs and access related to cryptocurrency and affect how tax dollars are allocated, with more oversight being demanded. Given the civil unrest, the government’s response, and how COVID relief was handled, I’m not surprised to feel collective anger where the “people’s money” is involved. It’s still there in 2021 and is aimed at the piggy bank.

What We are to Remember from 2020: King of Wands (Reversed)

Beautiful energy for a reversal. This card calls us to remember what we were able to accomplish when we worked together in 2020. The year was full of challenges and obstacles, and while we haven't overcome all of them, there were significant developments and innovation in the areas of medicine, telework, distance education, food service, etc.--all to meet the demands the pandemic created. Many of these changes occurred as a result of collaborative efforts to find solutions and significantly, much of that collaboration occurred remotely. It will continue to be a sorely needed requirement, as I see many more opportunities to work together to find solutions to problems in 2021. 

The good news in this appears to be that the 2020 trial-and-error in the realm of collaboration will pay off in 2021. I’m seeing a tense but efficient board room meeting where people are quick to throw out stupid ideas and my chest is getting lighter seeing it. If an option didn’t work well in 2020, it looks like we won’t even consider it as an option in 2021. Sounds like a timesaver to me!

That’s all I have for now. Hope you all stay safe and cautiously optimistic in the new year.

[darkkitsuneprincess]

Sweet Fantasies (Shingen x MC crack)

Pure, unadulterated crack, fresh from the depths of my sleep-deprived brain. I’m sorry not sorry.

This is probably a teaser for a longer something once Mitsuhide finishes torturing me in my mind *g* BECAUSE I WANT SHINGEN KITCHEN SMUT RIGHT NOW. Oooohhhhhh the places my mind goes with this. Why yes, I am an equal-opportunity Ikesen ho.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Title: Sweet Fantasies Pairing: Shingen x MC Rating: T (No smut, all crack. Sexytime insinuated)

Description: While enjoying a sunny day in the garden, Shingen and MC discuss something MC misses from the future. Silliness follows. 

------

The warmth of spring had finally arrived and the rain ceased, albeit temporarily. It was the first time in nearly two weeks the doors inside our home stood open, letting in the fresh air and allowing us out. I sat in the garden under a shower of cherry blossoms while Shingen worked on his latest project—a cradle for Yukimura and his new wife. The announcement hadn’t been made yet, but we could tell by the way Mariko carried herself that it would come soon. Many times over the last month I’d braved the incessant downpour to care for her during bouts of sickness while Shingen and Yuki were otherwise indisposed. The mental image of Yukimura figuring out how to handle a baby amused me so much that I couldn’t help laughing out loud.

“What, pray tell, brings my goddess such great joy?” Shingen asked. His head was bent against his work and wood shavings covered him from head to toe as he carved and sanded the rocker blades that would hold our gift.

“Just thinking about how much fun it will be to tease Yukimura about being a father,” I answered, still snickering.

Shingen laughed as well. “Lucky for Mariko, he’s a fast learner,” he said. This was true. Yuki might have been an awkward idiot, but he was sincere in everything he did and if it meant pleasing his wife, he’d go to the ends of the earth to do it. “It’s such a shame,” Shingen continued, still chuckling, “I have this goddess in my presence, yet she’s thinking of another man. I must be losing my touch.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re so corny.”

“Perhaps.” Shingen placed his tools to the side and opened his arms. “Come here. I suddenly have the need to hold my angel.” His cheesy lines made my face heat, but I slipped into his lap without hesitation and lay my head against his shoulder. Everything this man did, he did with the sole purpose of making me smile.

A purr of satisfaction rumbled out from his chest, coursing through me in the most delicious way. It would be so easy to distract him with a kiss; to drag him back to our bedroom and spent yet another day wrapped up in each other. Though as much as I would’ve enjoyed it, the sunshine was too warm and wonderful to ignore.

“Tell me, my love,” Shingen said, his fingers coursing through my unbound hair, “what is it like to raise children in your time?”

“I don’t really know,” I answered. We’d talked about kids a lot over the last year since returning from the future, but despite Shingen’s best efforts, it hadn’t happened yet. “The birth process is much easier thanks to modern medicine. Painkillers, a couple of days in the hospital, and you’re home. I imagine it’s easier to care for a baby with things like electricity and refrigeration. If a mom can’t produce breast milk, there are easily available alternatives. A modern kitchen definitely helps when preparing a little one’s food.”

“That kitchen of yours certainly was a sight to behold.”

“You know, of all the things I miss from the future, I think I miss my kitchen the most.”

Shingen’s hand stilled in my hair. We often talked of the future, but not of the things I missed. I chose not to dwell on the conveniences I’d given up. When we first returned, Shingen asked me often if I regretted leaving and I always told him no. To mention something I miss meant I had his full attention.

“What makes you miss that kitchen so much?”

“You’ll think it’s silly.” I turned my face into his chest to hide my embarrassment and laughed.

“Nothing you say is silly. Tell me what you miss.”

I hesitated and he pulled me back by the shoulders. Shingen made me look at him despite the burning redness in my face.

“The raised counters,” I admitted, mortified. Shingen’s forehead creased and a small half-smile appeared on his lips.

“The counters? Why ever would that be the thing you miss most?”

“I…I can’t tell you that part.”

“My angel,” he started, his gaze darkening as he stared at me, “you must remember that I am a master of information. I have ways of extracting it from you.”

Ways I’d enjoy, no doubt…

I leaned back against his chest, wrapping my arms around him so I didn’t have to look at him. His arms slid back around me, cradling me against him like I was the most precious treasure in the world.

“So, there’s always this scene in romance novels where the heroine is in the kitchen and the hero comes in to see what she’s doing.” A hysterical giggle escaped my throat. I couldn’t believe I was telling him this.

“If you feel that way about it, it must be a particularly good fantasy.” His lips land on my forehead and his fingers work back into my hair, calming me.

“Well, yeah…it really is.”

“Tell me about it. What happens after he finds her in the kitchen?”

“He interrupts whatever she’s doing by coming up behind her and putting his arms around her. Then…”

“Go on.”

I take a deep breath. “He’ll distract her by kissing her. And then he’ll put her up on the counter and…”

“And then he ravishes her?” Shingen asked, entirely too interested in my little fantasy world. I nodded against his chest and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing again. “That is quite the fantasy, Princess. I understand why you would miss your counters so much.” There was a note of…is that jealousy?…in his voice. His shoulders tensed and though he didn’t say anything, I could tell he wasn’t pleased by the thought of me doing something like that with someone else.

“Shingen…” I inhaled again and leaned back, steeling myself against the surprising coldness in his gaze. When I touched his face with my fingertips, he didn’t lean into it like normal. “I…I’ve never actually done that, you know. I’ve just read about it and…”

And all the hardness in him melted away, replaced with a new, almost predatory determination.

“I see,” he replied. An indulgent smile appeared on his lips. “You miss the idea of raised counters because you think it means you’ll never have the chance to know how it feels for yourself.”

“Yes.”

“Then I shall give you your modern kitchen. I can think of nothing more arousing than my beautiful wife in her dream kitchen making sweets for me.”

“You always turn it around, don’t you? You make everything about you.”

“Of course,” he answered with a grin. “Now that my mind’s eye has shown me you in the kitchen, your belly rounded with our first child while you make those wonderful molasses dumplings of yours, I cannot unsee it.”

He pulled me close and kissed me, his skilled lips and talented fingers teasing over me and breaking down every inhibition I had and making me totally forget my witty retort about his various appetites. By the time he let me go, I was a quivering mass of need. He did such wonderful, horrible things to me. The jerk prided himself on it.

“Perhaps, my angel, I can assist in creating some new fantasies until that kitchen is ready.” He rose from the ground, lifting me in his arms like I weighed nothing, and turned for our bedroom, his lips finding mine again.

To be continued in a later story...

[livlepretre]

for the writing ask! 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 19, 20, 21, 30, 31, 32, 44, 48, 51, 53, 54 (any other advice?) - sorry for all the questions. im just really curious, lol

oh geez haha I will endeavor to answer!

8. Favorite trope to write.

obviously enemies to lovers 😈

9. Least favorite trope to write. can I list fluff as a trope 

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I hit publish the same way other people do impulsive things like jump off a bridge (I did that too once. woke up with nightmares about it for weeks). When you’re doubting yourself-- and I doubt myself all! the! time!-- the best thing to do is to steel yourself for like 5 seconds, take the leap, and then wait. Most of the time people are incredibly kind and receptive, and whatever plot point was causing the anxiety will either go unnoticed or will be appreciated by someone out there. I feel like so long as the writing comes from a place of honesty and isn’t about sensationalizing or taking advantage of anyone, then it will work out.

13. How do you deal with writers block? I let myself put the work down and don’t stress about it. I have a rule where I only write if I feel like writing. It’s a hobby for me, so if I decide I would rather watch The Office or go for a walk with my husband, I just do what I want instead. A lot of times that’s because I have writer’s block, but writer’s block can’t be pushed. 

If I am determined to write here are some strategies I employ: 

Chances are I’m stuck because I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen, or I’m not certain of what a character would do. So I reread the story up until that point, make notes on anything I laid down earlier that is relevant to the part I’m on, and map out character motivations. Hopefully this helps me create a working outline that will push me forward. 

If I’m stuck because of trouble writing the story in a more profound sense, I put the story down and start something new and low stress. In other words, I intentionally start a project where the bar for publication is super low.  For example, both Love Bites and (The Stars Were Brightly Shining) are pretty much first draft stories. I would write the chapter and hit publish same day (most of the time). This gave me something fun to do that was still exercising the writing muscle but also gave me the opportunity for positive feedback and made writing fun again. 

If I can’t write at all, then I turn to reading. I read things that I really like, and I take notes on what I like about the story both from a narrative structure/plot perspective and in terms of the writer’s style and word choice. In theory we’re supposed to read a lot as writers, and writer’s block is a great chance to do so. 

And, eventually, I’ll be cooking or typing up something for work or in the shower and the missing puzzle piece will fall into place. It’s okay if that takes months. I’ve had 4 hiatuses on FE that have lasted 4-6 months each. So long as you want to finish the story, you will. 

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book? ehhh probably watching seasons 1-2 of The Originals so I could figure out certain plot elements for FE. I do get sucked into research holes every now and then, but as they’re largely useless I try to scramble out of them as quickly as possible. (I say this with fear in my heart for the research I would have to do to write the 1492 time travel story I have in mind) 

15. Where does your inspiration come from?

Poetry, books I read and love, folklore, songs, my unhappy adolescence 

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

Honestly I get A LOT of motivation from everyone who reads and sends me a message. FE is a much bigger and much more arduous project than I anticipated, and the support has been a HUGE help. Also, for my other projects like SWBS, it’s such an inspiration to keep thinking about it and to get back to it whenever someone mentions it to me. I really do thrive on the community aspect of writing. 

Also, it’s turned out that the older I’ve gotten the more disciplined I’ve grown as a writer. I’m 30 now, and there’s a huge difference between my writing habits the last few years and what passed for them when I was 21 and writing After the Fire, But Before the Flood. 

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

Three broken ribs, a punctured lung, a broken collarbone, and a concussion, with bruising along her face, from where it connected with the side pillar, and along her throat and chest from the seatbelt. Two dead parents. A low buzz throughout the town: her name on everyone’s lips. - Nights at the Museum

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

Damon looks at her and cants his head to the side and he tells her, voice flip and unreachable as only his can be, “I see you’ve cheated death again.” He makes it sound like it’s him she’s cheated by not finishing the turn. 

She opens her mouth to respond, but what can she say? Death still sits heavy in her lungs. Smoke burns her eyes and blood clogs her nose. She could choke on the smothering weight of it all. On the weight of his expectation in her. His disappointment. 

“I never wanted to be a vampire,” she tells him, finally.

The look Damon gives her strips her bare. Somehow over the past six months she has let him in, and now that he is here, she cannot hide from him. “You never wanted to make a choice with your eyes open.” 

-Innocence 

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.

well this is pretty spoilery for FE, so, reader beware: 

Rebekah has her pinned by an arm around her waist, her back flush to Rebekah’s front, both of them kneeling on the bed, while Rebekah reaches around and slowly fucks her with her hand. - Fairytale Ending

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

Right now I am very fond of this: 

Looking up into his face, into his eyes, gone dark and blue as the river back home when the moon was low in the sky, she finally admits the truth she's been hiding from herself for months. The thing she has been most afraid to ever, ever say, even to herself. Her gravest sin, which in this moment, feels like her redemption. "I love you." Saying it out loud is like the moment she drove the knife into her own side. - Fairytale Ending 

31. Hardest character to write.

Damon -- he has a very particular kind of humor and cynicism which I find really difficult to replicate (although I think I’m getting more confident) 

32. Easiest character to write.

Klaus-- literally there is nothing too extreme, it’s so much fun 

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. This will make like no sense but it’s from a creative writing class I took in high school, and the feedback was actually given to one of my friend, and I’ve remembered it ever since: “You have to use your avocado knives.” The context was basically he mentioned a pair of avocado knives sitting on a table and they never come up again. It’s the chekhov’s gun idea: when you put something down in the story, you have to actually use it. Everything in the narrative should have meaning if it’s mentioned, and work either functionally, metaphorically, or emotionally. 

48. Favorite genre to write in. Horror. 

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words. I’ll assume this is for FE: 

Gothic horror, where the blood is both in the grass and on the heroine’s hands. 

53. What does writing mean to you? It’s just something that I really, really like. 

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

I shared the bulk of it yesterday so here’s the rest: do what you want and have fun.