#what happens when your sibling dies but you didnt even know you had a sibling

[library-of-crow]

Tethered

The shuffling of blankets followed by the soft thump of hooves on the wood floor is what stirred Lillith from sleep. She blinked a couple times, eyes adjusting to the dark room, as she turned to watch Rapture's shoulder rise and fall rather quickly. On her other side, Eirrol slept peacefully unaware, even as the bed shifted as Rapture pushed to his feet and went about getting dressed as quietly as he could.

"Rapture.." Lillith rasped before a yawn escaped her. "What's the matter? It's late.. or early, I suppose." She rolled over so she was laying on her stomach and watching him buzz about the room.

"I need to.. do something." Rapture had paused awkwardly, causing Lillith to narrow her eyes a bit. "Go back to sleep. I'll sort this, alright?" His voice was soft as he returned to the bedside and gently ran a hand through her hair. Lillith let her eyes roll shut as he did, especially when his hand landed under her chin and his lips found her forehead. He'd lingered a bit longer in the kiss than she'd expected, and that's when she knew something was off.

"Rapture.." She repeated as her hand took hold of his cloak. He had been in such a hurry that he'd really just thrown a cloak over his night clothes. Wordlessly, she pressed him for an answer by not letting go as he turned to leave again.

"Something’s wrong." He sighed in defeat and hung his head slightly as he straightened back up. "Something’s very wrong and I.. I need to pray." Lillith's stomach twisted as his voice fell to a low whisper.

Rapture was, after all, a twilight cleric. Perhaps this was just the best time to commune with his goddess, she thought. At least, she hoped.

"Be safe." Lillith dropped her grasp on his cloak as he pulled the blankets back over her.

"I will." Rapture assured, sparing one last touch to her shoulder. Gentle as always. "I shouldn't be longer than five minutes."

"Is that permission to come find you after that time passes?"

"It's, uh.." Rapture scratched at the back of his neck. "Yes. It is." He admitted and Lilith hummed in approval.

Without another word between them, he made for the door and lightly shut it behind him as to not disturb his lovers further. Once he'd left, Lillith didn't fall back asleep, instead leaving her eyes lingering on the door to await his return.

Seconds became minutes, and minutes became an hour, and the soft sound of rain finally pulled Lillith from bed when Rapture didn't return. She threw on a cloak, not bothering to check who's it was, and slipped out of the room. He never went far, the twilight goddess was reachable almost anywhere, but he always found somewhere warm and quiet to pray. For Lillith to spot him, not fifty paces from the inn door, kneeling in the mud while rain beat down on his upturned face, meant something had to be terribly wrong.

As she approached, the sound of quiet crying made her heart sink in her chest. Without concern for the mud, she fell to her knees beside him and stretched her wing over his head despite how soaked he already was. There was a beat of silence between them as Lillith gave him the opportunity to speak first.

"Do you.." Rapture sniffled as he tried to calm himself down enough to speak. "Do you remember when I told you about the woman? The one that was there when my parents died? The one that told me to run?" He rambled off as clawed hands mercilessly rubbed at his face. Lillith took one and gently laid it in his lap while weaving their fingers together. When he turned his head to look at her, she nodded silently. A choked sob escaped him and Lillith scooted closer.

"She was my sister." Rapture looked away to hang his head. "All this time searching for this mystery person, and she's always been my sister." As another sob wracked his body, Rapture fell sideways into Lillith's shoulder.

"How do you know?" She asked softly as her free hand found his hair. The gentle movement of her fingers unwrapped every piece of him until his other hand moved to clutch at her cloak and he was half a second from being cradled in her arms.

"Yeniri told me." Rapture hiccuped as he recalled the conversation with his goddess. "Because she's dead, Lillith." The words were barely choked out and Lillith couldn't stop herself blinking in shock. "That's what woke me up. That's what's wrong. She's dead! She died!"

Lillith pulled her soaked lover closer to her chest as he fell into hysterics. Her wings wrapped around the both of them as she gently traced circles on his back. There wasn't much to say, they both knew this, but she was determined to stay at his side. After all, Rapture was terrified of being alone and there was something terribly lonely about this.

By the time Rapture had calmed down, neither knew how long they'd been out there. The rain began to quell and the slightest pinks of sunrise had just barely peeked over the horizon when they made it back to their room in the inn. Few words were exchanged but the silence was safe and warm in each other’s presence. Once they were stripped down and dried off, both crawled back into bed beside their sleeping lover, who had amazingly remained asleep through it all.

"How did it happen?" Lillith finally asked once Rapture was adequately snuggled up to her side with his head rested atop her chest. His swollen eyes were shut while his arms were slung lazily across both of his lovers.

"I don't know." He rasped, adjusting his head slightly. "It was quick, I know that, and she was.." A wince cut him off for a beat. "She was afraid." The pain in his face and voice brought a familiar tightening to Lillith's chest.

"We'll do something tomorrow. In her honor." Her hand raked through his hair as her eyes drifted to the ceiling. "I'm sure she's proud of you."

"She was." Rapture's voice cracked, and his grip on Lillith and Eirrol tightened. "I suppose I'll talk it over with Eirrol in the morning."

[dogiperson]

Hello! Big fan of your art pieces. Read your latest comic about the origin of cannibal Lady Lamb and I must say, though I do not endorse literal cannibalism, much less of one's kin, that brother of hers fully deserved it, 100%. Though I do have questions as well, if you don't mind me asking.

In that comic, Lamb seemed to have been a sacrifice of a cult of some kind, which is why she got that scarring mark on her neck. When did that happen when she was a kid, and how come she didn't die at their hands? How did she escape? Was it kept hush hush?

What is Lamb's public front of business, and why the surprise when she started wearing black instead of white?

Did the police ever managed to trace the brother's death to her? What got her hunting down the rest of her siblings? Did she get her parents too, or did they die before it happened? Why did her brother got so ... interested in her like that?

May your month be kinder to you than it was before, drink plenty of water, and rest plenty.

Oh, hi! That's a lot of questions!

This is good, because I'm crazy about my AUs!

I condemn cannibalism, what is in my Au is not a call to action or some kind of fetish, it is an allegory and an interesting concept for me.

"Eat the rich" but literally. It's all just fiction, don't take it too seriously

Okay, let's move on to the questions!

How did she not die after the sacrifice? Oh, um, she kinda did... But the ritual was successful.

And because of this she was bought by the man who became her adoptive father

He collected such children out of interest, that's why there are 13 of them

Everyone was surprised that she came in black dress because that's the color you wear to funerals lol

Her brother disappeared without any reason why he could leave on his own, she was the last one to see him and she who used to wear only white now comes dressed in black. And of course with fur on her shoulders. It looks very strange you know...

Since then she hasn't worn anything other than black btw

What got her hunting down the rest of her siblings?

After her father died (old rich bitch) his will stated that his property would only transfer if there was only one child left in the family... So let the fun begin, since they are not exactly siblings, and even didnt growing up together they had no familial relationship, just a bunch of lambs who want each other dead. They all tried to kill each other.

Did the police ever managed to trace the brother's death to her?

Of course! it's obvious I mean

Lamb is the main and only suspect in the murder... The problem is that until death is proven, her brother is considered missing and not dead, so... Because there is no body, there is no murder.

Why did her brother got so ... interested in her like that?

Want some nasty details? He was married and Lamb wasn't even 18 and she's a lesbian.

That's all! Thank you very much for being interested in my Au, I hope I was able to answer all your questions thoroughly!

[dollfaced-erin]

I kinda want Y/N to hide her horns and ears to look more "human" like Dan Heng does, and maybe say something along the lines of "Now we look more alike! :D"

But this would probably happen after Y/N joins the astral express. Still would be pretty cute

lmfaooo imagineeee

Jing Yuan letting (Y/n) out of the xianzhou to talk with dan heng for a minute. she also wants to see what her brother's life is like. she wants to know how he's been doing, even though she doesnt remember him, and he doesnt remember her.

though they had no recollection anymore, they still had a strong bond between them. like every reincarnation, between the two of them...they are destined to be siblings, it seems.

(Y/n) didnt mind since she was no longer Dan Jia and barely had any memory of Dan Feng and vice versa.

So it was a silent truce between them that they were still siblings, even in the next incarnation they would go through. in this life though, (y/n) was dan jia's age when she 'died' and seemed to be just a little older than dan heng who was a teenager. still younger than her.

but to blend in with human society, dan heng showed her a trick to mask her high elder attributes. like he would stand in front of her as the imbibator lunae, and transforming back into dan heng.

"See ? you try it. It's not too complicated." dan heng encouraged. "you can hide your tail, right ? its the same thing with horns and ears."

"okay...i'll try..." (Y/n) would reply, putting her hands on her horns as she shut her eyes, trying to focus on making her horns disappear.

then she lost the feeling of them.

"there you go. you did it." dan heng said proudly.

(Y/n) opened her eyes and smiled at dan heng. Her eyes wasnt the bright (e/c) anymore, her hair was fluffier but a little flatter due to the absence of her horns, and her ears werent pointed anymore, but still had the windchime earring.

"now we look more alike." (Y/n) said, a soft smile on her lips.

and dan heng couldnt stop his own smile.

"yes. welcome aboard the express...my sister."

he couldnt help but see a vision of (Y/n) in her oriental clothes, standing next to him on the ship heading towards the Scalegorge Waterscape, her smile just as vibrant as it was today.

[eclipse-rain]

Tr ; Yin and yang : Part 3

☆☆☆

|In case anyones confused about the Sano family tree and where Y/n fits in :

(Great drawing i know. Revere me artists!👹)

Part 1 • Part 2

Masterlist~

|Also try to pick a gender neutral name for yourself if you can (cuz i know your not using your real name your not fooling me cuz who even does that)|

The rain poured once again as it seemed to do endlessly around your existence.

A black umbrella was held high above your head, sheltering your now slightly bigger frame. However, this day you were the one who held your own umbrella without the assistance of a so called social worker who was ment to protect you instead.

You had gotten to the venue on time but only looked on from afar. You waited and waited and waited some more. Until finally almost everyone had come and go. They came and departed after paying their respects and grievances to who you assumed would be shins other three family members. His two younger siblings and his grandfather.

You let your mind wander to them for a time, wondering how they had been dealing with the loss of your shared older brother, even though they knew nothing of your existance.

You quickly snapped your mind back to the task at hand that you had set out for yourself as you saw your opportunity to slip into the venue.

Here you would say your own final goodbyes and grievances to your older brother.

Its bad luck they say. To bring an open umbrella indoors. Have you heard of that one?

Well you didnt care much for supersistion anymore because at this stage what was the point? You could follow all the superstition in the world and your older brother would still remain stone cold in a casket, soon to be burried six feet under in the sano families grave where your mother had also been buried previously.

The last conversation you had had with your mother flashed in your mind once again as it had done many times before.

Her frail arms wrapped around your small body, delicate hands turning your face to meet her own as she uttered those last few words in her soft sickly voice that she tried to keep from shaking.

Her eyes never leaving yours until she was done speaking almost as if she knew they would be her last. Or mabey it was just the importance they held in her own heart, the one thats beating was continuously slowing down as time went on until her sickness would finally take its course and it would beat no longer.

Whenever she held you close to her body as she brushed your hair, throughout your childhood, you listened to that sound. The sound of her beating heart. It relaxed you, you had said to yourself. But deep down you knew you listened to it for the fear that if you didnt, it would become silent, the beating would stop.

And it did.

And your fear had come to fruition.

Because at that time you hadnt been listening to the sound of it but instead to the sound of the words that left your mothers mouth.

They told you it wasnt because of what she was saying.

The doctors. The nurses. Your brother.

They had told you that she hadnt died because of the last one sided conversation you two had had.

But they werent there when it happened. They didnt hear the words that fell from her mouth, dragged out after ragged strangled breaths.

The last gasps of air that she could fill her lungs with as tears fell from her eyes and the grip of her hands on either sides of your face had started to grow a little too tight, her nails almost digging into your ears.

"Dont give your heart away, my love." She had said to you.

"Your too precious for this world. Dont let anyone have it. Do you understand?" She had asked but you only looked back at her blankly, staring into her reddened eyes.

"Y/n my beautiful daughter" she had said so softly, so soothingly

"Bad people try to take advantage of the people with the most beautiful souls in this world." She continued. "This world is unfair so your bound to have bad days but if everything else fails, just have hope. Hope for a better future. Hope for a better life in this world."

Her breathing became more shallow and she had started taking shorter breaths. You didnt know what to do then. You were listening to your mothers words and you didnt want to break eye contact with her, as desperate as she seemed, but the sides of your head had started to hurt from her hand placements and her eyes had grown strange.

"And some day you'll surely-"

Her heart monitor indicated that her heart rate had been rapidly increasing, you had decided then on what to do as you wriggled out of her grasp. You had jumped down from the bed and ran out of your mothers hospital room to get the nurses.

Sure, mabey you could have used whatever that button was that would summon a nurse to your mothers hospital room but did you remember in that sistuation?

No.

Or mabey you did.

You told yourself you hadnt remembered there was such a button or that it would take too long to find it. But the truth was that even though your mothers voice was always sweet and caring and had not changed even in her last words, the look in her eyes had frightened you.

A small child around only nine years of age.

Made to take on such a burdensome responsibility. The responsibility and weight of a sick mother. No one stopped to ask how you were doing or dealing with the situation. No one except shin. The only other person in your life. The only other person who loved and cared for you since birth. Your only other family.

And so after you had alerted the nurses, you had called him, your safety, your refuge. Though that phone call had been the one he had been dreading most.

The news that would turn out to be the biggest challenge you two had yet to face in your young lives.

Could you remember what the converstaion you had with him was, what you had told him?

The answer was no.

You didnt even remember calling him now that you were older.

Your subconscious had scribbled over that part so that in time it would fade and be forgotten. Nothing more than a torn page from your book of life that was currently still in the process of being written. Far from finished, far from even being deciphered by another since your older brother had left you behind in this world.

His own book being forced to a stop too soon, having run out of ink. Having been thrown away into the fireplace to be burned beyond recognition or rememberance.

You once again made your way up that aisle, only this time there was not a single person left inside. No one who would be watching you from where they sat below you, with curious, piercing eyes.

Your open black umbrella left a trail of small water dropplets behind you, as if imitating the tears that you could not produce. When you got to the top and saw your brothers picture framed with a smile on his face as if nothing bad could ever happen, as if it wasnt his own funeral that he was smiling about, your stomach lurched.

You felt sick.

You had been feeling many diffrent emotions up till now. Sadness over your brother death. Nervousness at going to his funeral where you could run into his other family members or be questioned as to why you were there.

Or if they saw your face. How even though you always had a resemblance to him, it had now grown to a sickening degree. You couldnt even imagine what would happen, you didnt want to.

So you pushed it all down once again. Pushed it back as best you could so that you could carry on while holding your head up high. Hold your head up high under that black umbrella that was now your only shelter, your only so called protection. You were alone now. But that also ment you were stronger. You could be stronger.

No. You would be stronger.

You had to be. Or the world that despised you, that bared its fangs at you any chance it got, would open up and eat you too. Just like it had done with your mother and brother.

Unfairness.

Thats what it was.

Every child learns the meaning of that word at a young age. Weather its because their parents wouldnt buy them a toy that they really wanted or because they got a bad score on a test they studied hard for, its shown itself in many diffrent ways. So that they are able to learn its meaning.

However unlike other children you had come to understand the word even more so than learn of its meaning. Like them you had learned of it but they could never truly understand the word, not until everything they cared about had been taken from them.

Everything that kept them alive, that helped them to survive.

When you had only the purest of hearts, the world despised you.

Just like how your mother had said in her final words to you.

You were discarded and now alone.

And so you decided from that day on, the day of your brothers funeral, that you would change.

The girl with only the purest of hearts would use her own fingers to rip it from her chest and reshape it into a dagger.

A dagger in which she could use to carve her initials on the world.

They would all know her name but they would never again know her heart.

There is strength in solitude.

In not relying on anyone.

This was something you couldnt see before when those you wished to rely on were alive. But now that they had been taken from you, now that you were left alone, the path that you must follow had been revealed.

It had finally opened up and allowed you entrance.

~~~

On that day a frame of a person in black could be seen leaving the funeral venue of Manjiro Sanos older brother Shinichiro Sano. A black umbrella held high above their head as they emerged from the previously empty building and stalked off into the distance through the lashing rain.

Umbrella swaying back and forth slightly with the current of winds that swept past and chilled the bones of the living to the temperature of the dead. Without a shield of his own to protect himself from the pelting rain, crystalizing rain soaked into Manjiro Sanos funeral garb as he looked out towards the far distance.

The dark clouds high above the earth split open just enough for a streak or two of light to shine through and down onto that small figure with the black umbrella.

The scene that played out before Manjiro, of that retreating blurry figure, was almost picturesque. It would have been more so if the dropplets of rain that rolled down his cheeks were not taunting him as he tried to hold back tears for his dead older brother. Those which he had just returned from trying to wash away in the bathroom.

The day drawled on in a dim grey colour as the tides of emotions felt by those who cared for Shinichiro Sano could not be swayed by words of comfort alone. Words the two Sano siblings uttered to each other in reassurance although not believing the words themselves were saying above what the other said.

You gained no such comfort from anyone never less the man who was suposed to be your older brother.

No, not the one that had been with you from birth.

Not Shinichiro.

How could he? He was the one you were now mourning and would need comforting over.

So not him but instead your other brother.

No, not Shins younger brother Manjiro Sano either. You had never even met him, only caught glimpses from afar.

A brother who was neither one of them, neither Shinichiro nor Manjiro, yet one you could not break away from never the less.

The man who was not even biologically your other older brother. The man who was involved in the last time you saw Shinichiro before his death. The man who did not respond to you when you had asked him if he was planning to attend both of your elder brothers funeral, even though he had been greatly depressed over the matter like you had been.

Izana Kurokawa.

Why? Why couldnt you break away from him?

You didnt know.

You didnt need him to comfort you now. You were strong enough on your own.

Was it pity? A sence of responsibility?

Maybe this was how your mother felt in her decision to keep and birth you instead of simply moving on with her life. A choice that may as well have cost the last of her remaining health.

Through these circumstances the darkness got darker and in turn so did your urge to become stronger.

Not for a reason like Manjiro Sanos. Not to protect anyone else. But only to protect yourself.

Protect yourself from ever again failing to be in control of your own life. And protect yourself from the hellstorm you knew would approch you in the near future chapters of it.

You could feel it coming upon you. That storm.

The world was about to bare its fangs at you like never before. But this time you would be ready for it. This time you would fight back. This time you would not be helpless. You would not let your life be thrown around in front of you while you could do nothing but watch from the sidelines.

This time you would be a force to be reckoned with and the world would be the one who was unprepaired.

~~~

Takemichi Hanegaki walked with alot on his mind. It seemed as if his problems would never end. As soon as he fixed one thing another problem would arise and thats just what it did again this time. Just who was the man they called Izana Kurokawa? The leader of the gang Tenjiku.

Walking through the doors to his school the boy, lost in thought and unaware of his surroundings, knocked into something in front of him.

"Hey watch where your going" a voice rang out

Or someone.

"Oh my God im so sorry i wasnt looking where i wasgoingareyouallright-"

The guy he had bumped into ignored him choosing to start picking up his fallen papers instead.

'Wow how dumb am i? I had been so lost in thought and worried over my new prediciment that i just made the guy in front of me drop all his belongings' Takemichi thought to himself.

Thankfully he hadnt knocked him over. Although he had a small frame the guy didnt seem like he could get knocked down that easily, thankfully, but that also made Takemichi slightly nervous.

Whenever something like this happened he usually found himself getting beat to a pulp two minutes later. Instead though, Takemichi found himself scraping the papers the guy had dropped off the floor as well in an attempt to help and not inconvenience him any farther.

After they both finished picking up the remaining pieces of paper Takemichi then handed the ones he had collected back to the guy. Angling his head upwards to take them from him, Takemichi got a look at the guys face for the first time.

He had a certain look to him, an aura about him that Takemichi, like usual, couldn't quite put his finger on. Especially his eyes, they felt almost familiar like he had seen them somewhere, on someone before. But Takemichi didn't have time to think about all that right now, he had other things to worry about, other priorities.

"I'm really sorry about that, i was lost in thought" he wanted to give a less rambled apology this time to get his honest feelings across.

"It's fine i wasn't looking where i was going too much either" the guy replied. He had a smooth voice, a calming essence to it but an undertone that hinted there was more to his personality than at first glance.

He almost reminded Takemichi of Mikey, however wierd that sounded. He was used to his hypothesis and ideas sounding wierd by now, they had to be if he ever wanted to figure out what was going on around him. No one around here was very normal anyway, including himself. He could time leap and that certainly wasn't normal, that was like a whole superpower.

The most not normal you could get and even then he was relatively alot more normal than most of the people he had interacted with since he time leaped twelve years into the past. If anyone was completely normal around here it would be his girlfriend Hinata Tachibana as well as Hinas friend Emma Sano, Mikeys younger sister.

Probably because they both weren't caught up in all the gang stuff but either way he felt proud to have a girlfriend like Hina.

Lost in thought once again Takemichi unknowingly cluched the paper in his hand ever tighter.

'Wait. Paper?' He thought

He hadnt been holding anything on his hands when he entered the building.

He brought the crinkled paper up and unfurled it, scanning through it. A test paper? This was one of that guys papers.

"Oh, i forgot to give you this o-"

When he turned around the guy was gone.

"Ah he forgot something" Takemichi said to himself.

Since his attention had been captured by that guys resemblance to the President of Toman he had been lost in thought and forgotten to return one of the papers he had picked up off the floor for him. It instead sat half crumpled up in his hand, the one that was now scarred thanks to getting a knife thrust through it in an attempt to help Draken.

As the bell rang for class to begin, he brought the paper back up to look at it once again and something on the cornor of the paper caught Takemichis eye.

"Oh wait his name is on it, i can just return it to him later." Takemichi concluded. "Lets see Mister..."

"Y/n..."

He hesitated when the sight of that persons last name reached his eyes, his brain not willing to comprehend what he saw.

"Kurokawa...?"

☆☆☆

Reader isnt a guy they just think she is cuz she looks like shinichiro alot so they just never think to think shes a girl

Also i know takemichi doesnt know what shinichiro looks like but he thought senju was a guy so-

@beep-sheep-heart @royal-shinigami @kazu-dump @dedef7890 @simpingfor-wakasa

[alexanderlightweight]

Happy wednesday! hope you, Saeth and nightshade had and will have a great week. (btw, what dog-race is nightshade? I don't think I've read that before 🤔)

Honestly I would love to read more about the nameless timetravel fic! So curious to see how they will change things this time around. For instance, how easy do they get rid of valentine?

nightshade is a lab retriever and he's super lovable and spoiled and he likes being wet so he smells like a pond most of the time! i hope you are doing well and they'll have a pretty easy time, they have alec and alec's never met an enemy he didnt study. i hope you're doing well! we finally all napped and feel much better.

saeth named it the same sky and now it has a name lol i hope you enjoy!

lumine

—

Alec is aware he’s blunt.

He’s also aware that Magnus is working through a trauma that Alec can’t fix through anything but time and Magnus doesn't have the time he needs.

It’s with desperation that he looks at Cat and Ragnor and he gives a wry smile.

“It’s nice to meet you again, Catarina. And Ragnor, I look forward to getting to know you in this new lifetime.”  He blinks guilelessly, hoping he got his point across and he thinks he does.  Cat hisses lightly, reaching out to grab Ragnor’s arm and Ragnor himself pales to a lighter green and nods, eyes hardening.

It also lets them know that Magnus has been wounded in a way they’ve always desperately tried to protect him from, one of their deaths.

“Darling, tattling on me to that old cabbage already?” Magnus asks, voice dark and low and Alec chuckles, wrapping an arm around Magnus’ neck.

“I need to make sure someone keeps an eye on you when I’m back at the Institute.”

Magnus is thoroughly distracted now, face outraged as he uses magic to drop Alec and pin him to the ground.

“You are not going back to the Institute!” Magnus barely manages to get out, “you are moving in here. Immediately.”

And because Alec hasn’t been married to him for centuries now and not learned how to be a little shit, he hesitates.  He knows now exactly what it does to Magnus for him to look up through his lashes, or to bite his lip while sulking.

And Alec will now admit that he sulks, because it makes Magnus give in immediately and Alec isn’t a strategist for nothing.

“But we only just met, Magnus. I thought during the first time round, you said these things had to happen slowly? That I was moving too fast?”  Alec purposefully tries his best to sound earnest and also hesitant, a little sad even.

Magnus almost falls for it and it’s with outrage that he realizes he’s almost been played.

“The audacity of some brats.” Magnus mutters, but he’s smirking down at Alec and he nudges him playfully with his boot. “Come up here darling, stop making me want to lock you in the bedroom.”

“Oh?” Alec asks, suddenly interested, “is that an option?”

“Why do you want to know if that’s an option?”

“Well obviously I’m not doing the whole interim head and commander I did last time. I don’t see why I can’t just stay wherever you’d like me.”

Magnus is staring at him adoringly and Alec sighs, letting himself pout up at the man he loves.

“So are we faking my death, am I being kidnapped?” Alec flutters his lashes and then frowns, wincing as he looks contemplatively at his side.

“You still have your parabatai bond, don’t you?” Magnus asks, something off in his voice and Alec winces, because he did try to block that off. Not wanting Jace to feel Magnus or Magnus to feel Jace.

“I haven’t had to share you for decades now.” Magnus whispers and Alec sighs and kisses Magnus’ cheek and the corner of his eye. “I thought it was just the bond resettling, that I couldn’t access all of you but would with time.”

Alec curses the pain he’s about to cause his parabatai, but he also doesn’t care as much as he might have a century ago.  Alec’s siblings lived good, full lives and they died happy and content.  Rare, beautiful gifts for shadowhunters and Alec finds that he looks at these new, young versions of them more like their distant descendants. 

Which is good because in the last few decades, Alec has learned that there is truly nothing and no one that Alec wouldn’t sacrifice to keep Magnus safe, happy and alive.

“Okay, we’ll fake my death. Maybe we can take care of Valentine and I’ll just show up in the aftermath. Explain who Jace is, what Valentine did to him. We can blame the bond breaking on him. Say he kidnapped me or something.” Alec is resolute in his decision. Other things, better plans, can be figured out but Magnus needs this.

Alec can tell in the way his hands are trembling, just a little.  The way he reaches for across the bond and then pauses, as if hesitant to press closer.

It’s grating on Magnus already and Alec doesn’t think he needs this new stress on top of holding back his temper and sorrow over what’s happened to them.

True they have each other and a chance at a new life, but it’s also different.  They were done with this life and this world, moving on to another and now they’re back.  So far back before so many things went wrong.

Alec hates that he knows Magnus is going to feel responsible for solving so many of those problems for the downworld.  Magnus doesn’t need a young interim head fighting his parents at his side.  Magnus needs a strategist who knows all sides and can be brutal, even towards his own people.

Alec has been Magnus’ secret weapon in many small and large wars across the years and it’s a position he’ll happily take up again.

It’s with ease that he rucks up his shirt and hands over his stele to Magnus, who takes it with the same awe that he had the first time Alec went to Edom for him.

Someday, Magnus will stop looking at him like that. Like it’s a surprise that Alec loves him so much.  It’s been well over a century and it still hasn’t happened, but Alec has hope and enough love to make it a habit.

“Third times the charm?” Alec says even though it doesn’t feel funny, that this is the third time this part of his soul has been cut away.  He’s lived longer now without Jace and bonded to Magnus than he did the other way around. 

It feels strange to not let Magnus encompass him entirely and Alec misses it with a fervor that he leans into. It keeps him steady through the breaking of the bond and Alec can feel Catarina’s startled, concerned magic pressing against him.

“He’ll be fine now.” Magnus murmurs next to him and Alec settles, safe in that knowledge.

[lucyskywalker]

I’m actually very curious to know why you don’t like jonsa! my reasons for example are: their fandom is acting way too insane for a ship that never happened and won’t ever happen; kit harington is unfortunately ugly. what are yours?

There are so many reasons that I dont even know how to begin with.

Alright. Let's go.

1st reason: It is only solely based on the show, and I really mean that. When you get to read metas and posts surrounding the ship, u realize these people never opened the books, while traying to pretend they did. I'm not being entitled. It is just obvious with what they write. Everything is taken out of contest. Especially surrounding Jon's pov and his lack of relationship with Sansa.

+ I despise the show. The only good thing about D&D's creations were the Dragons CGI and the dothraki and valyrian language, and it ends there. Out of it, everything sucks. They have rewrote all the female character in such a sexist and ridiculous way that I can't even start explaining for you.

2nd. I ship jonrya. Ik it is not everyone's cup of tea, but I do. And no. Idc if they become canon or not. I like the concept. I love their relationship. And I love what they can become. Now why the fact I ship Jonrya actually matters? Well, specially after season 7, a lot of Jonsa fans started taking things from Jon PIV that were about his love for Arya, and make it be about Sansa, with ridiculous excuses for their takes. The most commun and easy example being "What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister?" When Jon asks Melissandre, he is referring to Arya. And no. It is not a different interpretation. It is about Arya he is talking about. Another one was "Would you bed your sister?" And Again Jon thinks about Arya, but when you read Jonsa's metas; they say he is thinking about Sansa. Another common Jonsa take is that Jon died for his men in the books, or for Sansa, when again, this is not the case. He died for Arya. And that is explicit on the text with no room for other interpretation. No wonder why the last thing he tought was about her.

Jonsas straigh up lie about what happens in the books to support their takes, or they just read metas here on tumblr and believe it. Idk and neither do I wish to know.

Not only that. They started behaving as they had a moral high ground over jonerys and jonryas... when they don't, it is still incestuos and still problematic to modern standards - not only that, they behave entitled to this day, and attack Jonrya shippers and Jonerys shippers in a real coward way.

Many, many times, I received anon hate telling me to *kms*, slit my wrists. Someone even wished for me to get raped over a fictional ship.

My disdain over the ship is not only with the ship itself, hence taking a lot of Jon's dynamic and bound with Arya to give it to Sansa, which is really important in both of their stories and arc, but mostly about the fandom, and how I was affected by it. If it was treated only like a crackship (what book wise, actually is), as my beloved hitsukarin from bleach, I would have no problem with it.

But the community is far one of the most toxic ones I have ever seen or been in contact with. Actually, dealing with them heavily impacted my mental health.

3rd. I really didnt like Sansa way before dealing with the fandom. Since my favorite is Arya, the way Sansa treated her never vibed with me. (And no. It isn't normal sibling behavior. I am an older sister. I would never do half of the things Sansa have done, not even on 11). After book 1, I felt pity for her, but she still was the last interesting character for me, even if her Vale story was.... I guess, more berable.

After getting into the fandom, tho, Jonsas and Stansas ruined Sansa for me in every possible way as well to the point I read her chapters and I won't feel any kind of enjoyment in her journey or her character. She is my least liked character, not because "she is the most horrible person in the books" (she is not. She is far from being that. ) but because her fans made me feel terribly bitter about her. It is not logical or fair, but again, I'm not trying to be.

[imraespace]

omg hi pookei im like Alive. and like YOURE ALIVE TOO OMG IHIHIHIHI I LOVE THE NEW THEME BTW I LOWK GOT JUMPSCARED THIS BC I WAS TWEAKING ON WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS U BUT ANYWAS HOW AREYOU mueheuheh i missed you

So. I did fail my history test. WELL IT WAS LIKE BORDERLINE FAIL I GOT …. 33/50 on the multiple choice part and the written part id assume i did horrible as well ……… BUT some ppl did worse than me so ITS OKAY I THINK MY PARENTS DONT CARE THEY SAID JUSt do better on the next one

LIKE OKAY STORYTIME BUT ITS NOT REALLY A STORY it was like the night before the test and i was studying and i realized holy flip how am i gonna memorize all of this and i already studied like yesterday and the day before but i was TWEAKING and i was like ok lets go on tiktok and i remembered oh i havent visited this one account recently let me go check. Tell me why they posted that their sibling died. LIKE I HAVENT ACTUALLY INTERACTED W THEM LIKE EVER BUT IM JUST LIKE WHAT. BC IT WAS SO SUDDEN YKWIM and i got sad over it and i was like on the verge of tears but then my dad came into my room and he gave me water and i didnt wanna look at him or id start sobbing but then he started staring at me so then i acc sobbed my eyes out and i blamed it on my history test and he started teaching me about whatever i had to study

after my history test i was lowk grieving the death of who it was but i was so confused on why i was affected BC I LITERALLY DONT KNOW THEM THEY DONT KNOW ME AND I LEGIT NEVER INTERACTED W THEM EITHER SO I WAS LIKE HUH but i feel a little better now i hope that the person who posted about it is okay tho ☹️

umumumumu Nothing has been happening other thna me rotting on my phone and avoiding history and some of my other subjects hw……… will be crying bc i actually have to lock in today

OH YESTERDAY I WENT TO THE MALL WITH MY PARENTS TO BUY JACKETS WHY THE HELL WAS EVERYTHING 250+??? LIKE OK I GET IT JACKETS ARE PROBABLY HARD TO MAKE OR WHATEVER AND THE SUPPLIES FOR IT YADADDADA BUT LIKE I SWEAR JACKETS WERE 50 DOLLARS BEFORE. i told momi ill just freeze this winter and ran into indigo again to find bluelock manga even tho i got all the manga available here (1-14 i am desperately waiting for the sae manga i need him so bad but hes coming out feb 25 next year LIKE WHAT) i found episode nagi manga 1 and i… i bought it. it was. 20 dollars. there are 5 volumes. 20 x 5 assuming they stay the same price is 100. i did more calculations including manga all the way up the volume 31 of bluelock and the figures/plushies and tell me why my estimate price is basicallt 900 dollars on bluelock stuff within 3-4 years. im gomna be on the streets homeless with bluelock merch but its okay bc my glorious blue eyed kings itoshi sae and itoshi rin will be with me …..

IALSO WENT TO GO GET SUSHI WITH MY FRIEND YESTERDAY SO YAYAYYA it was all you can eat and best believe i ate everything like i am literallt kirby i inhaled the whole menu. when it came to desserts i got every flavour of ice cream + mousse cake so i got like …. 9 mousse cakes with different flavours ice cream plus deep fried banana with condense HELPME I THINK KMGONAN BE SICK LIKE THE SECOND I GOT HOME I RAN TO THE TOILET AND MY STOMACH WON THE BATTLE I DIDNT.

OKAYAYA DAILY QUESTION TIME BC I ACTUALLT HAVE NOTHJGN ELSE TO SAY

UMUMUM which bllk character would eat everything at a buffet like they would lick all the plates clean.

- 🐙

HAI POA9AKIE HRUUU IM DYING MY HAIR IS MESSY AND UTS AO HOT I REGRWT WALKING WITH MY JACKET TODAY

HELOMEE EVERYONE GOT SCARED maybe next time I should say something..🤫🤫

I MISSED YOU TOO HRUU?!?!?

oh well.. I partly passed my accounts test bc apparently I wrote the wrong formate even tho she gave us it so😂😂😂😐😒😒😒 we're twinning!!

HELP SAME WITH MINE unless it's like.. end of term if I do bad ill get the talk yk last time I got it I was so scared my mommy is so scary when it comes to school but then she was like open the chocolate for me please! IN YBE MIDDLE OF THE TALK? she gave me chocolate tho so hehehehehe

idek how to study for history I don't think I ever passed it when I used to do it

HELPAME WHAT I also go on tiktok for studying as well I have a collection or whatever you call it

aw that's understandable to cry when you're frustrated I hate that sm BUT THATS SO CUTE my mommy is just like girl idk ask google! (im joking kinda)

oh. idk how much that is in tt and rn.. it's too hot for me to think so.. 😨😨😨

omgw please giveme the winter it's so hot IT SOS HOT SOSOSOSOS HELPPME I CANT FOXJS IN CLASS ITS THE rainy season AND NOT ONE DROP OF RAIN HAS FELL I wanna experience snow as well heheheheheh

there's no bllk mangas here.. only kny here n spy x family hrhehe i might buy jt

I'm giggling the calculating is so me with my money it's okay ill find you on the streets and take you in!!

ALSO.PMG SUSHIII MY FRIEND HATES SUSHI AND ONE TOO SCARES RO TRY IT LIKE WHAT?

omf I would be kirby as well fr I barely eat sushi if it's infront if my face I will yum yum it

OMG? I WNAT THAT OAMSHSH

HELP oh nvm good luck popo

ERM THE ANSWER IS ME I'm in bllk today

[blue-the-octoling]

I completely understand! It's not selfish in any way, as you did decide to redisign them first!

Very good, lovely angst! Also, I have an idea for how Lillian died! Instead of falling down the well, how about she dies from hypothermia?

this may just be my shifty knowledge of how the weaver children died, but do we get any explanation on why they were killed in the way they were? I mean, I know Tim and Toms death was because they were seen as "children of the devil", but why were Benny, Lillian, and Caleb killed?

Tim says softly sounding more nervous than exhausted like before. The day goes on as normal their mother makes dinner and their father comes back from town but still no sign of Tom. “He’s… ok he probably is just out in the forest… he’ll come back for dinner…” Tim says to himself the sun had set and the homestead was now shrouded in darkness his siblings already inside eating and he reluctantly joins them. But an hour passes, then two, Tim goes out and looks for him against Benny’s warnings Tom comes before himself. He looked all over the homestead, staying outside for hours in search of Tom. Looking high and low checking each spot once… twice… three times over. When he returned home his sibling long since went to bed he finds his mother in their room…. She’s… SHES BURNING TOMS STUFF… “Mama! What.. what are you doing!? What happened to Tom? Where is he?” Tim yells at his mother his mother snapping back “what has to be done! If I want the lord to forgive my sins I must remove all traces of them. Cleanse them in fire. You devils will never see the light of day again and if I have to die to be forgiven then so be it.” With that she lights the pile of Tim and Tom’s clothing, bedding and personal belongings on fire with the candle she used to light the way to her terrible mission. Tim drops to his knees finally realizing what happened to his brother, tears run down his face as he comes to terms with the fact that his bother is dead. Though it doesn’t last long as his sadness melts into pure anger as he stands to his feet, his knife now tightly clutched in his hand as he lunges at his mother, his knife plunging into her side as she’s knocked into the pile of spreading flames. A loud shriek comes from her as she feels his knife be pulled from her flesh before harshly plunged in again, her hair and dress starting to catch ablaze, her screams continuing on and on as he stabs her not even realizing he himself is also catching ablaze. Tom was all he had… the only person who cared… not his mother nor his other siblings… “YOU WITCH. YOU DARE CALL US DEVILS WHEN YOU DO THIS  TO YOUR OWN CHILDREN…!” He growls in pure distain and hatred, the flames spreading from his room to the rest of the house. His mother dead from blood loss he finally stops realizing his situation, the deep burn of his skin, he can barely breathe from the smoke. As the fire spreads more finally overtaking both him and the house completely. He screams with what little strength he has left clawing at his face feeling a hot liquid run out of his eye sockets. He can’t see… his lungs feel heavy and smothered and his skin feels like liquid. He can’t feel… he can’t… he passes out. Outside Benny does a head count, one, two… Tim. Tom. They aren’t there. He holds out hope that they’re just in the woods together. For now making sure that Lillian and Caleb are ok. He couldn’t wake up their father, nor find their mother for now he only care about his siblings. Lillian stuck to his side in fear and Caleb doing the same. For now the only thing Benny can do is calm his siblings down and hold out hope that the other two are ok. 

THATS FUCKING GENUISE SHE DIED BECAUSE OF HYPOTHERMIA THE FALL DIDNT KILL HERE THE COLD DID!! Also no we don’t know anything about how they died just the cause of death.

[imsociallyanxiousgetoverit]

I started this as the intro to a fic about Age and Wild meeting but it devolved into my feelings on it instead

(TW death, trauma, angst, loss, grief, guilt, twins tragedy, brief abuse mention)

Thanks @alasse-earfalas @quasar-crew for putting this idea in my head by accident /genuine

Alasse’s HC that AoC Link and BotW Link are Twins but the other Died thus causing such branch in the Timeline

Which fn sucks cuz it would cause such a self esteem issue for Wild and probably a huge guilt and anxiety issue for Age

(personal stuff starts here)

Like my twin died so I grew up with only an abusive half sibling and I had guilt about my twin’s death since before my mother ever told me about him. I can’t find it anymore, but I first realized i have LTS (Lost Twin Syndrome) from a webpage online when I was younger. It stated clearly that even living people who’s twin died in the womb fundamentally know they lost someone important to them. I checked almost every single box on that list.

(personal stuff ends here)

I cant imagine finding out (twin or trauma first doesnt change it) you gave a dead twin then the pain they might have gone through if you died instead BY SEEING THEM ALIVE AND SUFFERING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU or from the opposite end seeing someone you know isnt you but may as well be cuz twins right but somehow you’re the “failure” of the two, somehow you messed up and he didnt, because you dont have the details on what created the life he has just your interpretation of your own.

Like their minds must be in such turmoil and shock but this is probably happening during an AoC au right so they have no time to process it, not really, there’s a war going on; so they push their trauma and feelings aside as usual to try saving the day.

I cant cover all the details cuz ive only watched AoC once but like there is SO MUCH to unpack here

[sadnsxft]

I return with more Isaac angst! (Kinda lol)

// Spoilers for the end of CoD Ghosts campaign for any new readers I guess //

So Isaac has a real soft spot for the Walker boys. Loves messing with them in an older brother kinda way but also supports and encourages them as they manage becoming part of the Ghosts

But after Logan gets taken by Rourke and all that, Hesh is obviously devastated. He’s taken to medical right after they find him and treated for his numerous injuries. Eventually though Hesh breaks out of medical just to be alone. He’s angry and hurting and no one gets it. The rest of the Ghosts are looking for him but Isaac finds him on accident. Didn’t even know that Jesh had gone missing from the medical wing.

“I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure you should still be on bed rest, Hesh” Isaac says jokingly

But Hesh stays quiet. Isaac can tell that something is wrong.

Well of course something is wrong, he tells himself. Isaac heard what happened. He heard about Rourke taking Logan.

So Isaac sits down next to Hesh and just starts talking about how being a big brother is harder than people think. You help teach your little brother learn how to ride a bike, how to shave, how ask a date to homecoming, how to drive. So many little things that you do to help raise a little brother.

Isaac says he knows what Hesh is going through.

Hesh responds in anger, asking how Isaac could possibly know how Hesh is feeling. Hesh lost a father AND a little brother in the span of a few days.

Isaac says plainly that his father died when he was 21, and his own little brother was lost 10 years ago when the Federation turned ODIN on the U.S. He didn’t lose them the same way Hesh did, but Isaac KNOWS how it feels to not be able to do anything, to not even be there for them or stop the inevitable. All children must contend with a parent dying by no big brothers wants to live with the fact that they failed their little brother.

It’s then that Hesh finally starts to break down and cries and Isaac hold him close. The older one promises Hesh that Logan isn’t completely lost yet, and that none of the Ghosts will stop until they bring him home.

WHAT THE HELL. IT WAS IN MY INBOX BUT I DIDNT GET A NOTIFICATION??

ANYWAYS...

ughhh sibling dynamic angst. im the youngest sibling so a part of me will never understand the true older sibling dilemma. but this angst lowk hits hard. i grew seeing my family go through some really tough times so feeling powerless? felt.

man... i need to be HELD while i breakdown and cry over all my losses LMAO SHIT...

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HEART LMAO

"all children must contend with a parent dying but no big brother wants to live with the fact that they failed their little brother." HUHHH??? TEARS???

WHAT ANGST TRAIN ARE YOU ON???

[ma-lark-ey]

Lark Liveblogs Lit episode 4(?): The Mortal Instruments

Here’s what I know going into it;

Magnus & Alec are endgame, Alec walks away from his marriage???? Very dramatically to kiss Magnus. I, originally, thought these two were reversed but my mate corrected me.

It’s (roughly???) inspired by her old Draco Trilogy (which I did track down and download, will read eventually) and shares the name with a Ron/Ginny fic (which I read. Mortal Instrument was a very fitting title)

And that’s literally all I know before hand;

Unlike the Harry Potter post, I’ll add my thoughts whilst reading and not just completely after finishing. I will still do the entire series post-mortum on each book, though.

City of Bones; (3/11/23)

Alec is EASILY my favorite. I figured it’d be Simon or Magnus because my blorbo history favors Simons and Magnuses, but Alec has CAPTURED my heart and when he almost died to Abbadon I literally cried even though I KNEW he survived.

Clary, on the contrary, is only slightly less boring than Isabelle. I think Isabelle is badass because she’s got a whip but both of these women is like. Go girl! Give us NOTHING! Especially weird because Clary is primarily our perspective character??

Jace & Simon’s weird little dynamic is interesting. I’m not. Its whatever. I don’t hate it, I’m not intrigued. I DO think Alec/Jace is a far superior romance to Jace/Clary. But also maybe my opinion will change. The little kiss in the garden WAS very cute. Jace thinks he’s so cool and he’s literally not. He’s literally so cringe. His snarky sass is so fun as well, obsessed with whatevers going on there.

The cup being IN the Tarot cards was SO cool. I’m obsessed with THAT.

How old is Magnus. Can I be condoning Malec. Is it like, a Calypso situation. Emotionally he act around 19-20, we’re going with that. He feels like a shitty frat boy. How did this man name Magnus Chase he’s so cool and Magnus Chase is the most pathetic meow meow I’ve ever seen.

UMMM??? HODGE??? WHAT THE A C T U A L FUCK. HELLO. NO. NO. I REFUSE. THIS IS SO FUCKED UP WHAT. SO THAT WAS A FUCKING LIE???? Hodge.

Pov you’re my actually mildly hyperventilating at the end of chapter 22.

JACE IS VALENTINES SON??? THEY’RE SIBLINGS??? Really living up to stealing that name from Ron/Ginny fic huh 😭😭 oh god. Cassie… cassie clare… bbg….

So. The Johnathon reveal fr had me set the book down and walk away because I was in HYSTERICS. congrats, Simon! New chance with your girl because the other part of your love triangle was her BROTHER. so—

Newly finished City of Bones. There’s so much going on here. I’ve thoroughly exhausted my thoughts already. Uhm.

All I have left to say is I adore Luke. He’s perfect. And Magnus Bane RUSHING to Alec like that??? OKAY. HOMOSEXUAL MUCH??? Yes sir go get your man. I see you.

2.) City of Ashes (02/05/23-8/17/23)

Simon and Clary are a MESS i love them. Theyre IDIOTS.

Luke is still my beloved

The complex ass dynamic of Jace and Valentine,,, EAT. love it.

Im gonna be so fr i have updated this in six months and dont remember 90% of book teo anymore actually but Vampire Simon was a slay

Wait that didnt happen in this book.

OH. OH. THE SEELIE COURT? INSANE. INSANO FUCKING CRAZY THAT WAS WILD.

this book took me forever to read because second installments are always weak af (Son of Neptune is an exception) and i struggle so bad

Dont remember if it was this book or book three but him almost dying and Jace giving him blood was the GAYEST thing I’ve ever seen and they should make out. Like that was so horny and for what.

YES THAT WAS TEO IM CORRECT because two was the boar fight and three was the city where sebastian whatever the fuck killed max

Moving on.

3.) City of Glass (8/19/23-8/23/23)

THEYRE NOT. SIBLINGS. WIN FOR EVERYONE INVOLED.

Magnus & Alec appeared like twice but im obsessed with Magnus every time he appears im flirting with him hey bb howzit going.

Maya is my FAVORITE ever i love a wolf girl. Also love a fear demon.

The Max death was UNNECESSARY and UNCALLED FOR he was a BABY BOY. what did he ever do to deserve this. He died HOLDING JACE’S SOLDIER. devastating. Awful.

The mark of Kane for Simon was real as shit im obsessed with that.

The Angel reviving Jace was literally so funny silly goofy. He went “god. What the fuck. At least give this kid a chance at being normal” and thats so funny.

I want to study Jace like a bug. Hes so babygirl.

(I’ll reblog with updates as I read the last half of the series 🙏 it’s taking longer bc ~ school ~)

However!

My best mate & I watched the first season of the show & the City of Bones movie and;

Okay we only watched the first like. 45 minutes of City of Bones because we wanted to watch something genuinely bad and it was doing too well. Obsessed with the cast on that, though. We didnt even get to Magnus or Alec because every casting on the movie was good until Isabelle and it was so bad I made my mate turn it off because I Could Not.

I’m on episode ten of season one of Shadowhunters and its not good but it is fun so I’m thriving. Like this show is bad but also its a fun time so we’re thriving.

[kemikoko]

uhM.. ive never actually used this account for my weird ramblings and such but !!! i have a new thing to ramble about so enjoy my nonsense !! :)

tw: mentioned child neglect and fnaf lore being confusing.

—

Okay this is about micheal and c.c(and elizabeth) and how there bond would realistically(as realistically as possible for fnaf) go!

okay so first i would like to say every sibling bond is different this is just my take on these dudes so if you have a different opinion good for you!! anyways lets start for real now. :)

okay so micheal or foxybro and c.c are known not to have the best relationship and thats like really common i litterly fought with my twin last night but the difference is that micheal is like a teen and c.c is at least 7(seven) or 8(eight) meaning theres a huge age difference so theres that. And also william probably is almost never at home or is busy working meaning elizabeths main role model is micheal meaning she would probably either bully kids at school or bully c.c at home or both. ( and also no one has really told micheal "that hey thats not really okay dude stop it.")

Meaning micheal or foxybro is helping elizabeth be shaped into this bully who doesnt know any better because she see's someone older doing it and thinks its okay. of course she has other role models or adults but her main one is micheal thats her brother. that's who she is with the most. Thats who she grows up with. ( and its also making micheal think even more that its okay to just bully c.c despite the fact its not and even then he should know better hes like a teenager.)

But of course with bad comes good. if you have a sibling that you bullied you or you got bullied by you'll here your parent(s) or guardian saying "You have to stop this. If something bad happens to me/us you'll only have each other." and while for the most part thats true.

they didnt seen each other for 40(forty)(?) plus years before meeting again so eh but its fnaf so. bUT realistically speaking if something did happen its true Micheal will have to take care if both elizabeth and c.c because we can safely assume Mrs. Afton isnt there she left or just died earlier.

And since william more than likely is almost always busy mike probably has had to take care for both if them when he isnt there. And micheal can say he hates c.c and bully him all he wants but deep down no matter how much he denys it he loves his little brother and he would more than likey do anything for him and elizabeth.

It doesnt matter how much he bullies c.c their stuck together. their brothers and they love each other no matter what because even if you say you hate family deep down you love them. ( sometimes!!!! not always !!!!! )

moving onto c.c and his death (Tw: talks of child death and once again fnaf lore being confusing !!)

—

okay so here comes the confusing part. So everyone has different AU's and stuff and i have not completely figured mine out yet but for right now ill just start talking.

So mike is the reason c.c died. simple as that. but its not because some people would hold grudges and some people wouldnt and c.c is an eight year old who now has a whole bunch of head trauma and memory issues. because there is no way in hell that fredbear did not crush his whole head like >:/.

anyways meaning c.c probably doesnt remember who the hell killed him or that hes dead but if he does i feel like he wouldnt know how to feel on one hand he would probably be very very upset but an a different hand he would also know that micheal wasnt trying to kill him. so he would just be stuck in the middle.

he would probably hold a grudge for a while but seeing as c.c is like probably eight(8) it would be one of those grudges he forgets after an hour or so. But also i can all assume that all the afton's are petty because ??????????? and c.c probably wouldnt talk to micheal at first if they ever met up again if he did remember who killed him but if he didnt remember he would probably be terrified of him still because yaknow...... mike bullied him....

but if c.c did hold a grudge and never wanted to see mike again i feel like mike would probably see that as understandable i mean he did kill him. but it wasnt completely his fault that also probably wasnt his intentions. once again confusing and it depends on if you make c.c forgive him or not.

i personally see it as he doesnt forgive him now at all and it would take like a while for him too. but since he has matured since then its easier for c.c to trust him not all the way but enough.

oh!! oh!! another thing me personally i feel like william does but also doesnt love his kids like when he first met them he hated them but they started growing on him and he's a bit neglectful but he A.) he either doesnt notice or B.) he's working on it but failing.

anyways!! thank you for reading this the whole way through. i am so sorry its not more neat i just.... idk man my thoughts are weird and this is just me rambling. uhm. ill try to update more on this account but yaknow....school....and..stuff...

okay anyways bye !!! happy holidays !!!! :DD

[goremet-chef]

man i feel crazy sometimes (vent)

my cat from childhood was put to sleep in may and like. i know shes gone i know its true because i heard my sibling talking about losing her to his therapist so i KNOW it happened.. but like.

my mom didnt bother to tell me, i heard it from my sibling. and my grandma never texted me about it which i felt like she would cuz i know she wouldve told me or at least i thought she wouldve. and today my mom jsut mentioned having a dream about her to me sort of offhandedly like it was normal and it.

i dont know!! i know shes dead but part of me is so confused because what if she isnt? what if it was just a really cruel sick joke from my sibling? i know he wouldnt do that, but like.. idk. i spend a lot of time at my grandmas house and now im scared to go there at all because like... i know when i get there theres gonna be no cats. but what if shes not dead and shes there at the door waiting for me?

when i get there ill see that shes not and itll just break my heart further. ill see her box up with all the other boxes, next to rileys probably. i dont want to face that truth

its so crazy how it means nothing to anyone. i know theyre all older than me and have lost a lot of pets before, but man how could it just mean nothing. do you think i wanna hear about your dreams about artemis? i dont. i have enough of those as is. always the same dream too, i get to my grandmas house and shes there, but everyone tells me shes dead and thats just her ghost or not really her

but i can touch her and pet her and shes purring and i think that even if its not real, its still better than never seeing her again at all.

i had the same exact dreams when riley died, too

[xstarvibezx]

Idk what Rainbow Friends is but I’m super interested in your OC’s storylines!!! What happened to them? What changed? What are they like? Who is your fav? Who do you hate but still love? I’m so interested!!! I kinda wanna draw fanart oops— /gen

OH - HELLO- I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I HAD A ASK-- MY BAD AFJSDHJD

Also I highly recommend that you play Rainbow Friends, it's *SUPER* fun and entertaining. It's on Roblox if you're wondering<3

As for my favorite ocs? I have a few, such as: Candycane, Bittersweet, Pink, Black and Slate^^

As for who do I hate but still love? You know, I don't know actually. I had never thought about it.

And you can draw fanart of them! Just hit me up if you need their reference sheets that I need to remake some of them haha-

Anyways, as for my Rainbow friend ocs? Or my furry/creature ocs?? We'll just do rf ocs haha -- but first. Some notes: this is my first au of them<3

Pink = Pink is Blue's sister, not biologically related but they see each other as siblings, since they both were created on the same day. When Pink was younger, she was a recolor of Blue and absolutely hated it but she couldn't exactly complain about it since the scientists' weren't so. . .uh. . .good to her and the other odd world colors. Though when she got to her teenage years, she got a new design by Jessica(Her creator), but what's sad is that her second design was mostly dead odd world colors that died through the experiments stitched to her. She may have never haven't gotten a chance to know them, but she still was horrified. Later on life, she dated Red. The two were-- or had a okay relationship, but soon broke up when the truth was revealed. And just so you know, it was NOT a pretty breakup. At all. After years passed, Red returned and Pink was still wishing she had a new design, she couldn't ask Jessica to redesign her again, since the science woman despised and hated the odd world colors. (Except Magenta) and when she reunited with Red again, it took a few weeks for them to become normal goos friends, and once they did, she wanted him to redesign her. So he did, even if it meant going through five panic attacks just to help her. Also she receives kill mode later on in her life. Yikes-

I swear I will make a better fleshed out explanation on all of them, just- give me time haha-

Slate = This chubby short lil grumpy guy doesn't have a much of a backstory but he does have some history with Pink, the two are good friends. Slate has a crush on Honeydew, but he's a tsundere. Oh and by the way, he's uh- he's having some mental issues and is dealing with depressing thoughts. He also has kill mode, though nobody knows how he got it.

Honeydew belongs to this person

Candycane = This crazy holiday rainbow creature was created at the start of November and was finished on December 12th. She was a bit crazy at the time but as she grew older, she got more crazier and tends to get herself into trouble. A lot. Though she tries her best to do some things, and sometimes try and be a good partner to Nightlight despite never really experiencing love in their life.

Nightlight belongs to this person

Chocolate = This poor gal lost her fucking legs during a experiment, brutally ripped off. So ptsd for her! Even more so when her creator, Jessica (who's also Pink's creator), had ripped her eye out as a punishment for disobeying his orders. She is *SUPER* emotional and is much more sensitive than Strawberry is. However she developed a disliking towards Slate, who constantly makes fun of her for having no legs. Poor gal can't catch a break, but hey, at least she has Aura.

Aura belongs to this person

Strawberry = The poor giant chubby gal was too late to save a human friend of hers, the woman was named Laura and was killed by Jessica. Nobody knows why she killed her, or how she did it but Strawberry developed a fear of being too late of saving her friends. However, she is super sweet and loving to everyone, and is practically the caretaker of children of any types. She is also in a relationship with Lulu and is quite happy. Though she still terribly misses Laura :(

Lulu belongs to this person

Black = This guy was created by the rainbow friends themselves, it was mostly Blue's idea because Red wasn't there, he had been presumably dead as hell out in the wild after the truth revealed. So originally, Black was a replacement for Red until things went horribly wrong. Nobody knows how or why but Black was created with kill mode and went on a rampage, he had no absolute control over himself and his kill mode at the time, but now he's just chilling and is now mates with Orange, taking care of any rainbow creature kids.

Black & Pink are my first ones haha-

White = I'm remaking him so nothing on him yet, sorry<3

Violet = This gal had miraculously survived throughout dangerous experiments at such a young age, however, they received scars and practically is missing a arm due to those experiments. She is also half blind too. However, she may not talk much and is always being assumed of being muted, they always are chill and acts more like a background character and prefers it that way. She doesn't like attention or drama involving themselves.

Rusty = Ah yes, our magic nerd rainbow creature who always and still believes magic is real. Rusty grew up being told/lied to about fantasy stuff being real, so like, he believes any fantasy creatures were real and such. Also when he was young, he was a female but now he's a male, meaning he's Transgender. However, throughout his life, he is kinda childish. Always believing liars and is somewhat good friends with Lime, but he soon developed a crush but unfortunately Lime has no interest in him and just sees him as a friend.

Neon = It usually goes "Neon" or "Rainbow" due to him having all sorts of different colors, of course, they were created and supposed to be a weapon for odd world though things went south and Neon ended up killing his creator, Aaron. However, they somehow ended up crushing on Grey, and it confuses him. Also they can change her form and is NOT a ghost despite looking like one. Neon goes by many names and is just a insane boi. They absolutely love scaring ppl though<3

This Grey belongs to this person

The Candy Collector/Bittersweet = He goes by many, many, many different names. Most of these names are based off types of certain candy, and such. Though they mostly use "Bittersweet" and "Sugarcoat". He was created at the beginning of August, his creation took much longer due to his extra arms and the abilities the scientists' were giving him. And the rainbow machine was having issues, as well as Bittersweet. His creation was finished at the end of September, and they placed him in the wooden cabin since that's the easiest place for them to give children candy. When October rolled around, Bittersweet started to become a bit more unstable than he usually is. On October 31th, the day of Halloween, that's when he snapped. Bittersweet had killed about 4 or 5 kids, causing the place to shut down and him being thrown out. Though they decided to sneak out and run off, leaving the play place. Oh and by the way, Blue and Purple knows him. Bittersweet had never returned, until later on. Though even now, nobody knows where they live now.

Yellowstone = Our poor derpy gal who can only smile and absolutely despises the odd circus, she was a failed experiment at odd world but was transferred to the odd circus, a place of failed experiments would go. Yellowstone absolutely hates the circus and the people in it, they all treat her and the others like shit. Though she is always how positive she is in front of others but really, she's just dying inside, hating life, and doesn't have a good view of a actual good life. She also despises Sunset.

Blueberry = Another failed experiment, she is short and chubby and is playful. She tries her best to make Yellowstone feel better despite hating the circus herself, she is such a troublemaker and is often viewed as a screw-up, though she doesn't care for the insults. Though she knows Yellowstone is sensitive about pretty much anything. Also Blueberry was created in the circus, so she has no idea there are other places.

Blackberry = He can't really change his mouth expression, and is often pranking others. Trying to ignore the pain he usually gets from the people that treats them all like shit, he is now questioning his sexuality when he started crushing on Blood Orange. Also he's a failed experiment. He can also teleport, so it makes it more easier to prank others and get away. He usually accidentally scares Yellowstone.

Blood Orange belongs to this person

Sunset = She is the favorite, she is loved by the people, the audience and the children. She absolutely loves the circus, not realizing the people were injuring the others, or maybe she does and doesn't care. Either way, she absolutely enjoys making fun of them, especially Yellowstone since she knows that Yellowstone wasn't created in the circus.

Snowflake = The one and only so far that had been transferred to odd world, nobody knows why or how they did it. He was just suddenly transferred to odd world, he is quiet most of the time and nervous too. He is socially awkward and was super awkward when he had explained his situation to Pink. Before anything, yes he's a failed experiment, and yes, Pink welcomed him in despite being awkward herself. So far, Snowflake lived in odd world without worrying the life of the circus weighing down on his shoulders.

Misty Rose = The adopted daughter of Orange and Black, she is a bit hostile and distrustful and is usually seen crossing her arms or wearing a sweater. She was adopted off from Odd World, though Odd World has it all so there's a adoption center for rainbow creatures and human children. Misty Rose was created and then was sent to the center, also yes, Odd World has their own rainbow machine. She is also in love with Mint (A Green X Blue child), and is terrified of Purple, she prefers to keep her distance.

Opal = A decent good friend of Slate, she doesn't really do much in her life. She usually comforts Chocolate whenever Slate is done making her life even more miserable, Opal developed a parental instinct over Chocolate and this caused her and Slate had a falling out. Since then, the two meet with hostility and aggression. She was created at Odd World.

Dark Gray = Our weaponized rainbow creature, he was created at the circus and is now being used as a weapon, they are well aware of it but it learned that if they disobey, he gets locked into a cage like a animal. Dark Gray was already acting more like a animal than a actual rainbow creature. He is easily confused by pretty much anything.

Gray = He used to be Oswald and had done so much damage on the rainbow creatures, especially Red and Purple. Later on, he returned as a Gray cat rainbow creature but soon ended up fucking dying by Bittersweet.

Glowstick = Ah yes, the actual first odd world "color" that was created in odd world. They have the ability to glow in the dark or anytime, and practically can shapeshift. He used to date Violet and had a clean break up, they both just kinda fell out of love. Glowstick at the beginning had a completely different appearance except for her sabortooth like teeth, so when it was ordered to have a new appearance, things went horribly wrong, making her into a failed experiment. There are rumors she might have died but that isn't the case. They aren't dead. She does have crushes on White and Black, and doesn't really know how to act on it so they just kinda. . ."okay".

This Black and White belongs to this person

Carrot Cake = This chubby gal looks like a literal carrot cake, she has the colors of one anyway. She absolutely loves meat and practically will eat meat, chocolate and sweet rolls. She refuses to eat any cake since she says it's cannibalism. Carrot Cake can shapeshift and can practically turn into a puddle whenever she wants and act like she's "melting"

Rosewood = She is a failed experiment, based off of the Pink fanmade design that's more popular than the others. However, her arms were brutally ripped off by her creator, who is unfortunately is unknown right now. She gets along with Yellow the most, since she listens a lot. She absolutely hates scientists and can be aggressive when she wants to be. Nobody knows how she was never transferred to the odd circus despite being a failed experiment.

Yellow = Yellow was created in Odd World, having traits of a cheetah but he isn't fast as Orange, however he's the same height as Orange. Yellow used to be in a relationship with Pink, they got together while Red was gone (more like presumably dead). He has a strong hatred towards Orange and anyone with kill mode. So he despises all the rainbow friends, Pink, Slate and such. Though as much he hates Violet, he is creeped out by her silence.

Lime = This poor guy has no kill mode but when he was first created, he used to be narcissistic and sus, basically a copycat of Jayson (a scientist). Though now, Red had fixed him and now he is pretty chill and crushing on Yellow.

Turquoise = They are a demonic spirit, it's not specific of type of demonic spirit he is but he had died through the experiments. It definitely has kill mode and is forever in it. He has demon and ghost powers such as: possessing bodies and such. It's unknown of what experiment he had been killed by, they just know they died through experiments.

SkyBlue = SkyBlue is based off of some kind of sea monster, though due to this, she can't leave water since she doesn't have legs. However, it doesn't stop her from seeing her girlfriend, Peach (Pink X Yellow child)<3

Magenta 1 = This Magenta is sus as fuvk and acts a lot like Angel Dust and is sus like him, she is enemies with Purple and is practically the favorite of Jessica. She isn't presented when kids are at odd world due to the fact that she's not child friendly, however, later on she does get brutally murdered by 600 KM Red. IT will always be unknown of why Jessica adored her so much though.

Maroon = He absolutely loves the play place and is glad that Red had adopted him and Navy. He was created in Odd World and was taken to the center as well. Though he decided to leave the play place since it was his home, wanting the odd colors to adopt him. Lime, specifically, adopted him.

Navy = She was created and placed in the adoption center, she doesn't talk much but she can be protective over Maroon. She and Maroon were adopted by Red, so now their the adopted children of Red.

Coral = This poor odd color died during one of the experiments, she used to have kill mode before she died. Everyone knows her death, she went crazy and tried to bite Jessica but Vivian had "put her down" so now Coral is just a wandering ghost that never shows up a lot and when they do, it's usually to check on the odd colors to see how their doing.

Cerulean = He used to be a human, so his human life is unknown. Though despite being very emotional, he is infected by KM. Nobody knows how. He is a very forgetful creature, forgetting many things except for his emotional support hoodies. He absolutely loves wearing them. He is surprisingly aggressive whenever he's KM.

Salmon = Salmon was created in the circus, a failed experiment, but he managed to escaped through the sewers, he can easily swim through rivers, oceans, sewage, and such. He's based off of a shark but he has traits of a sea monster. So like a hybrid I guess.

[fecundaratis]

your mind is protective

after my father died, i started fixating on how it must feel to die.

to die suddenly, afraid, not knowing whats going on.

to die peacefully, like drifting off to sleep, and then blissful nothingness.

to die violently, at the hands of someone else, who had no reason to kill you other than they wanted to, and they could.

to die slowly, in pain, over months, without reprieve, and how death might feel merciful.

to die old

to die young

to die right in the middle, like my dad did.

ive been remembering my childhood near death experience, when my abuser pretended to try to murder me to scare me into never telling.

i remember being under the water. thrashing, grabbing at his arm, soap in my eyes as i fought as hard as i could. but i was only 4 and that wasnt nearly hard enough.

i remember black. emptiness. nothing. the comfort of numbness and your body letting go as you stop fighting, and your brain shuts off all perception. protecting you from the trauma of dying.

i remember being revived. being held firm, the backs of my thighs pinched to wake me up, my back being slapped to help me cough up water. crying. being terrified and shocked at what had happened.

being left alone, naked, wet, afraid, after having nearly died.

sometimes i feel like im exaggerating calling it attempted murder, or a near death experience, because the point wasnt really to kill me

he didnt want me to die. if hed killed me, charges would have been filed, even if he could convince my parents that it was only an accident. they mightve found evidence of what they had been doing to us.

but that doesnt change my experience, that he didnt actually want me to die. i still felt it. i still feel the terror, and i still remember how it felt to die, or come close to it.

i still dream about dying, and when i die in my dreams, it is always the same thing. terror suddenly numbing into acceptance, and then darkness. nothing.

i think about my dad. he had a pulmonary embolism and passed away suddenly with no warning. he died coughing up blood. i cant help but think about what he must have felt. concern, certainly. the day he died hed been having chest pains, what he thought was asthma, and he had been attempting to walk it off. i wonder if he felt terror as he fell to the ground, unable to control his body anymore. i wonder if he felt the same terror fade away into passive acceptance. i wonder if he had enough time to think about me before he died. when i die in dreams, the last thought i have is usually about someone i love.

i am so, so scared of dying these days. recently, as i drift off to sleep, i become terrified that im actually dying, my oxygen is fading, and i wont wake up in the morning. im so afraid that my partner will suddenly drop dead from something i couldnt see coming. i am scared of my siblings dying, my grandparents dying (still have all 4! despite my dad passing), every waking moment i am thinking about death, and my own experiences with dying has deeply impacted this.

it is so hard to function anymore. this fear of death can only be silenced briefly, or distracted, but never shaken. i miss my dad and i miss the days before i remembered how it felt to die.

[bohemianwriter]

What brings this up is tonight my daughter is coughing. I have woken up almost every time. I came in once to check on her and a second time to lay with her. No one should be left alone when they are sick or scared. The trauma of not having my needs met in any way. Screaming at Aris age for my mom who never came. They ignored me! How could you?! How dare you! Ignoring a crying child. For your own benefit? Amusement?

It’s hard to rewrite everything you know or have seen and to show up like the parent I always wanted to have. How can I do this without a role model? I just know. I feel it. Our bond and our connection I have to go to her. It’s not a choice. To think how badly I was nurtured is a hard pill to swallow. Not only was I not supported but expected to support my parents and perform 110%. At 7.

I got a playroom with dozens of toys but no one to play with. I had to sneak around my father who was a complete brute. My mother was unstable at best. I never knew which mom I would get. The loving one or the triggered one. It was almost like well my baby died and this one will never live up. I even named her after the dead baby. Great. What in the fucking projection shit is that? My dad only did it to keep my mom around. I always felt “tolerated” not loved. The support I got was to make them look good. The adopted daughter that look turned out so successful. We saved her. No you didn’t. I might have been better off in an orphanage. At least I might have had support from the other orphans and friends. That’s how I always saw Oliver Twist or the Little princess and I’d dream and pray for the day my REAL mom would show up and take me away from this torturous place. She would scoop me up and take me to her beautiful home. I’m loved and wanted. I have smart siblings who love to laugh as much as me. It’s hard to live in reality when you’ve been fantasizing your whole life. I could never imagine my daughter feeling that way. And eventually probably around the time I started skating, I had given up the idea. So for about 10 years we just fought. I knew I wasn’t being treated right and became my own parent and best friend. This was especially true in middle school. A time when kids need the most support my parents turned their back on me. They should have never made me stay there for more than a year seeing how unhappy I am. If Ari came home crying from school every day I’d have meetings with her teachers and principal. I’d switch her schools immediately or let her be homeschooled. There is nothing to be learned in an environment like that except survival. And my mom kept me looking ugly. She liked it. She was always envious of my weight so instead of fattening me up she starved me. Literally. The saddest part. I never got to do fun things. I remember one spring break they told me we’d do stuff every day I’d wait at the office all day and then after I fixed and ate my own lunch alone I figured out we were going and that happened the entire break. I didnt get my birthday celebrated. And then after that the next year I didn’t even ask to do anything. This disappointing feeling was worse. It meant I still had hope these people I’m stuck with would take a genuine interest. Then when I started skating and saw the cost and how they were not going to support me regardless of my passion and talents. Pretty sure my dad only went to the competitions to spy on young girls. Not even joking. It was intuition. And a feeling that I still remember to this day. A pervert or predator it doesn’t matter. It was wrong. He never took me to class. Never asked my coach how to train. He didn’t help except financially but sometimes it felt like they threw money at me so they didn’t have to deal with me.