#what good is it to go to these stupid places alone
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🌀 period comfort w/ logan howlett
a/n : vv old little drabble :3 wanted to put some logan content out!
logan had never really thought much about what it’d be like to be with someone during their period. it wasn’t something that came up often in his world, and to be honest, he’d never really had anyone in his life long enough to consider it. but things were different with you, and when he noticed the subtle shift in your mood one day, he couldn’t ignore it. the signs were there - you weren’t your usual sunny self, and your quiet, withdrawn nature told him enough.
at first, it took him a minute to figure out what was going on. you were usually talkative, always making light of things, but now, you seemed distant, your smiles a little more strained. he wasn’t an expert on feelings, but he knew something was off. logan had a way of observing, of picking up on small details, even if he didn’t always know how to deal with them.
when he realized what was going on, the thought of how to handle it made him pause. it was the kind of thing that made him second-guess his usual gruffness. his first instinct was to give you space, but there was a part of him that felt the need to care for you, to make sure you were okay, even if he wasn’t sure how.
"you feeling alright?" he asked one evening, his voice a little softer than usual, though he tried not to show it. he was sitting beside you on the couch, his arm around the backrest, not quite touching you but close enough to reach if you needed him.
you gave him a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. "just tired," you muttered, pulling the blanket around yourself a little tighter. he could tell by the way you curled in on yourself that something more was going on. logan didn’t pry much, but he wasn’t an idiot either. he’d seen this before in the few women he’d been around - those signs of discomfort and pain.
if it had been anyone else, he might have just left it alone. but with you, it was different. he didn’t like seeing you like this. he wanted to help, but he had no clue what to do. all he knew was that he wanted to make sure you weren’t suffering alone.
the next day, after training, he showed up in your room with a small bag of supplies - he wasn’t sure exactly what you needed, but he’d figured out that chocolate, tea, and some comfortable clothes might help. he didn’t say much as he handed them to you, just a quiet grunt of acknowledgment. "thought you might want these," he muttered, trying to play it off like it was no big deal, though he couldn’t help the faint tug of worry in his chest.
you looked up, surprised but grateful. your eyes softened as you took the items from him, and he saw you smile for real this time. "thank you," you whispered, voice quiet but sincere. he nodded, his lips pressing into a thin line.
he hadn’t expected much in return, but when you asked if he’d sit with you, his heart gave a soft lurch. sitting still, being quiet, that wasn’t his strong suit, but for you, he’d try. so he pulled a chair closer and sat next to you, not saying much. just being there. sometimes that was all you needed, he’d realized.
over the next few days, he learned the rhythm of what you needed. some days, he’d find you curled up in bed, too drained to do much else. on those days, he’d make sure to have everything ready - tea, snacks, and sometimes just a warm blanket and a place to sit in silence. he wouldn’t press you for anything, just making sure you knew he was there. he’d sit beside you, occasionally offering a gentle squeeze of your hand or a quiet “you good?” but he never made it awkward. he didn’t need to say much. the small acts of care spoke louder than words ever could.
on the days when you felt a bit better, logan found himself doing things to make you laugh. he’d make stupid jokes or show you funny videos from his phone, trying to distract you from the discomfort. his usual gruff exterior softened, and he found that he didn’t mind. he liked seeing you smile, even if it was a small one.
but it wasn’t just the physical care he’d learned to offer. logan had also become more attuned to your emotions during this time. he noticed when you were quieter than usual, when your eyes looked a little more tired or when the weight of everything seemed to settle a little too heavily on your shoulders. and without asking, he’d find ways to lift that burden, whether it was just holding you a little tighter or giving you more space if you needed it.
there were still moments when he wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing, moments when he felt a little out of his depth. but with you, he wanted to be better. he didn’t want to just stand by and watch you suffer in silence. he wanted to help, to make sure that even in your weakest moments, you didn’t feel alone. and that, in itself, felt like the least he could do for you.
🌀 logan howlett : @notacleangirl, @v3lv3tf0x, @dugiioh, @whxtewolf, @rooroen
@lemoanaid, @correnz, @coocoocachewgotscrewed, @ohmystvrk, @y08h
@lovely-liliacs, @california-boys-and-sun
taglist form linked in pinned post :3
#jay writes!#logan howlett🎀#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett fic#logan howlett angst#logan howlett x you#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett imagine#wolverine x reader#deadpool#hugh jackman#james logan howlett x reader#logan x reader#hugh jackman edit#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman wolverine#hugh jackman icons#period comfort#logan howlett period comfort
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*𝙄𝙫𝙚 𝙂𝙤𝙩 𝙔𝙤𝙪*
Pairing: Changbin x Reader (Fem)
Genre: Angst (Happy ending of course)
Warnings: Abusive father! Violence, Blood, Alcohol, Sick mother, Lots of cursing. Father is a real piece of shit and puts hands on reader multiple times. Sorry for any mistakes or missing tags.
Just for another warning because I think it’s important. This has content that could trigger some people. Please please read the warnings. If any of them make you uncomfortable please don’t read. Also a reminder. You’re not alone. No one ever should be laying their hands on you. I love you. You’re loved. You don’t ever deserve anything like this.
Find The Request Here
-🖤
Changbin wrapped his arms around you pulling you close to him. He kissed your neck tenderly nuzzling himself into your neck. You both were snuggled up on the couch watching a show. “My angel” he said softly before softly kissing your neck once more. When you were with him it felt like nothing else mattered like the world was alright. Your moment of happiness was short lived though seeing your phone buzzing. It was your father. Just seeing his name flash on your phone made you anxious.
After your mother had passed away your dad became an even bigger monster. He was always a good for nothing, But now not working as much as he did he stayed home drinking. Your mother had told you before the only reason she had stayed with him was because she didn���t have anywhere else to go. Her family was from another country, she didn’t have much money or friends. She was such a brave woman though. You don’t know how she dealt with him so long but I guess him never really being home helped. He had gotten fired from his big job because of his drinking and anger problems. Going to work one day hungover and punching a coworker so hard it broke his nose. He had to pay a hefty fine for that. Now he has a slow job where he only works a few days.
One of your earliest memories of him being his asshole self was him telling you how he hated that you were a girl. He hated that in his words ‘that useless bitch couldn’t even give me a boy.’ He wanted a son so badly and he made sure you knew that. He never really bonded with you however he’d be damned if you didn’t respect his authority. The first time he ever laid hands on you, you were 9. You accidentally knocked over a table braking the lamp that was placed on it. He grabbed you by the wrist smacking you across the face. ‘You stupid fucking brat! Look what you did, you’re just like your fucking mother!’ He spat pushing you away from him.
After that day it just kept going. Having to wear long sleeves at school to hide the bruises. At one point you had to stay home for almost a week. You had stepped in front of him to protect your mom when he hit you square in the face busting your lip. It stayed swollen and bruised for a while. Tooth slightly cracked from the incident.
You wanted so badly to tell someone. Confide in a teacher anything. You were scared to though. Scared they’d blame your mom, put her in jail and take you away. So you endured it. As your mom started to get sick he turned more of his attacks on you. Although a complete peace of shit he wasn’t stupid. He knew if he did anything to her the doctors would see it.
After she had passed you kept yourself from the house as best as you could. Not going home as much as you possibly could. You got a job at a cafe down the road and that’s how you met changbin. He was a regular who once you started talking admitted to only coming so much to see you.
You kept your home life a secret to him as much as you could but one day you were getting intimate you forgot about the bruises. When he had lifted your shirt his smile dropped. He looked at you with wide eyes “what the fuck? Who did this to you?” He said clenching his jaw. All you could do was sob he held you in his arms rubbing your back. “I’m sorry for raising my voice I just- y/n please- what happened?” He asked.
Through your sobs you told him, you unloaded everything in a word vomit of sadness. He would and wanted to go find your father. To beat him senseless, to show him how it feels but he knew you needed him more. He held you so tightly, feeling his own heart breaking from your words. Knowing a family member could do this to someone they were supposed to protect. To love and cherish just broke him. He was such a family oriented person and now he realized why you never wanted him to meet him. Never talked about him. He asked why you couldn’t just leave explaining to him how your mother wasn’t from here, how you had no family and no one else to rely on.
“Shit- it’s my dad” you said frantically picking the phone up.
“Where the fuck are you? He spat.
“I’m- I’m just at a friend’s house” you stuttered.
He laughed “sure, you’re probably slutting around. Get your fucking ass home.”
He hung up leaving you shaking. “I gotta go.” You said picking your keys up.
“Y/n you don’t have to” Changbin said with pleading eyes.
“I’m sorry.” You said before heading to the door.
Your brain wondered what was going on. Why he needed you home. As you pulled up coming through the door you saw him slumped in his usual chair. “About fucking time” he hissed. “Do something useful and go get me some more beer” he demanded.
You stood there almost dumb founded. Before he hissed again “don’t make me say it again!”
You nodded heading down to the store and getting it for him. When you got home again you sat the beer beside him. He gave you a smirk “glad you know how to listen” he chuckled. Your nose twitched at his smell, you hated being close to him. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes and B.O. always radiated off of him. He motioned for you to leave and you did slinking back to your room to text changbin.
Him: Y/n! Text me back! I’m worried!
You: I’m fine. He just wanted beer
Him: I swear I’ll end him one of these days
You: I’m gonna go to bed ok? I’ll see you in the morning! Love you!
Him: Love you to beautiful. Text me when you wake up🖤
You fell asleep shortly after always finding peace in sleep. The next few days were the same old. Going to Changbins after work going home late when you knew he’d be passed out. Today though. You had to run home for your wallet. When you walked through the door your dad was in the kitchen. You took one look around and realized something had to have happened. Things were thrown around. Smashed. Your body froze before you could go to walk back out he saw you.
“Where do you think you’re fucking going!” He yelled. He made a bee line toward you.
“I’m- I’m picking up another shift at work I just came home to grab something.” You lied.
“Bull fucking shit!” He spat.
He grabbed you by your throat lifting you up against the wall. His eyes were dark, knuckles bloody from punching the wall. “I get fucking fired from my god damn job only to come home to see you running back out? For what huh? To go fucking whore around some more?” He said. “No! There’s gonna be some fucking changes!” He screamed.
He dropped you to the floor before grabbing you by your wrist dragging you to the kitchen. “You’re gonna get another fucking job, you’re gonna start paying the other bills!” He spat. “You got it!”
When you didn’t answer right away he slapped more like punched you across the face. “Answer me bitch!” He said gritting his teeth. All you could do was nod scared for your life. You felt a warmth running down, your nose was bleeding.
“You’re fucking pathetic you know that, just like your fucking mother! That bitch. That bitch fucking deserved what she got! I’m glad she’s fucking dead!” He spat. Something had come over you at that point. You shoved back making him stumble backwards. You made a dash to the door luckily in his drunken stupor he stumbled getting back up. You ran. Not even bothering getting in your car afraid it take to long.
So you ran. You ran as fast as you could until you couldn’t anymore. You hid yourself in the bushes at the park panting. Trying to catch your breath as you fumbled to call changbin. “Hey angel” he said happily but when he heard you breathing heavy his heart sank. “Y/n what’s wrong? Are you ok?” He asked.
“I’m- I’m at the- park down- down the road- please” you stuttered out.
“Stay there I’m just down the road!” He said before grabbing his keys speeding to you.
He gripped the steering wheel afraid for what had happened. “Angel? I’m here!” He yelled out.
You peaked your head out, when he got a good look at you anger filled his body. ‘That mother fucker’ he snarled. There was no time to be angry right now though. You needed him. So desperately needed him.
He sat beside you pulling you into his arms. He took his jacket placing it around you as he whipped away the blood from your nose. He noticed the handprint mark around your neck, he gritted his teeth seething. You sobbed, holding onto him for dear life. He rubbed your back “ssh sh it’s ok angel, I’m here, I got you.” He said.
He rocked you back and forth letting your sobs subside before asking you anything. “Does it hurt?” He asked lifting your face to him looking over your nose and neck. You nodded. It hurt to swallow, hurt to breathe, everything just hurt. “Can I take you to the hospital?” He asked. You were hesitant but you nodded.
The car ride there all he could do was watch over you. Scared something could seriously be wrong. Cursing at himself for not being there. He was in the process of finding a new place. A new place so you could move in with him. The only reason you didn’t live with him now was for the fact he had other roommates and if the tenant found out about you they all could be evicted. He was gonna surprise you today with the good news, that he found a place. Close to his work and close to a bakery you had wanted to work at.
When he had gotten to the hospital they all looked at him like he had done it. They checked you over asked him a million questions. The cops being called from below to ask him questions. They weren’t completely shocked when they heard your dad’s name. He was notorious for his anger outbursts and violence. He had a list of charges that had gotten one being the man he punched at his old job. They wrote everything down, took pictures of your bruises and wounds. Asking you lots of questions before leaving.
“Y/n did you know you had a broken rib at one point?” A nurse asking you.
You shook your head.
“Looks like it happened a while ago, it fused back but not properly. You ever have sharp pains?” She asked.
“Yeah, she use to complain about side pains but they kinda just stopped.” Changbin chimed in.
“How is she right now?” Changbin asked.
“Nothings broken however you’re lucky, the pressure he had around your throat bruised your vocal cords. Any harder you could be looking at serious damage”
The nurse had left to grab some papers changbin took your hand into his. He kissed your cheek softly rubbing his thumb over yours. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there” he said softly.
You shook your head “I don’t want him hurting you either” you said looking up at him.
“I’m proud of you though, pushing back and getting yourself out of there. Your mom would be proud” he said with a small smile. His words made you smile a bit. “She definitely would.”
“I had some news to tell you” he said hoping this would make you smile.
“Yeah?” You asked.
“Yeah. I’m moving. Well we’re moving” he said with a smile. When you looked at him a bit confused his smile grew “I got a place for the two of us. Wish it could have happened sooner but-“ he said.
You wrapped your arms around him hugging him tightly “we’re gonna live together? I’ll get to spend all the time with you?” You said eagerly.
“Yep! Got the keys today!”
When the door opened you thought it was the nurse however it was an officer. “Y/n we have your father in custody. Do you have a place to stay for the mean time?” He asked looking over at your boyfriend.
“I do, but can I go back and get something’s you asked.
The officer nodded “I’ll have to escort you because it’s a crime scene now.”
You nodded.
“Whenever you get discharged we can go alright?” He said before walking out.
After you went to the house grabbing your clothes, laptop and a few things you smiled saying good riddance to this place. You had the few things from your mom packed, having nothing more in this house for you.
Moving in with changbin was something to get use to. However he helped you every step of the way. You got into much needed therapy and after your father’s sentence you felt like things were going up. As a little house warming gift Changbin had surprised you with a cat. You had bonded with him with the many times he had taken you to the cat cafe. You always said how much you wanted him and now you had him. You had your little family now.
Changbin showered you in love as usual, never missing a chance to compliment you, praise you and tell you how much he loved you. You knew in your heart your mom wherever she was, she was happy. Happy seeing her little girl finally get out of the situation. To live her life to the fullest.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp
#stray kids#skz#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#changbin#changbin angst#changbin drabbles#changbin x reader#changbin fanfic#stray kids angst#stray kids drabble#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfic#stray kids comfort#changbin comfort#bangchan#han jisung#hyunjin#jeongin#seungmin#Lee know#Lee Felix#kpop angst#kpop drabble
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saw @bloodydeanwinchester's tags on this post so
*TW: SUICIDE IDEATION TYPICALLY DISCUSSED IN RELATION TO THIS EPISODE PLS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES*
dean's always hated being stabbed. god, he'd have taken a bullet to his head over this any day. what's one last thing that doesn't go his way, he thinks.
it's uncomfortable, is the thing. the hurt, he'll take it. it's nothing he doesn't deserve, nothing he hasn't had before. but the feeling of metal slicing your innards, it's a bitch of a thing. you can never get used to it.
Atleast, he thinks, Sam's here. Atleast, he's able to say goodbye. Atleast he's not alone.
His nerves are all alight, pain painting him bright from the inside, but dean can feel the finality of this burst. it's all too fast and too slow, all at once. dean thinks about being four and the sharp sunlight waking him in his room, his sheets with hot wheels on them. he thinks about baby's headlights shining through thin motel curtains. thinks about....about angels and gods and all that blue light behind his own eyes. he thinks if this is how.. how cas felt, when dean had been stupid and cowardly , when he'd let Lucifer get to him, that night in Washington. he wonders if his soul feels like this too, all sharp angels and live current. he wonders what cas ever saw in him, why he ever tried to save him, even in hell. wishes he could see him, one last time. that wouldn't have been all that terrible.
Still, he thinks. Sam's here. Sam's here. Sam's okay.
he jolts into himself, and realizes that he's been talking, that he's been saying something to sam. he doesn't even know. dean is unraveling. he can feel his body emptying, the slickness of blood at his back.
he grabs at his brother, fists a hand in his chest. Sam's face is twisted in sorrow. Fuck. I love you, little guy, he thinks. then, fuck, don't let me go. i don't want to go. shit's never happened the way he wanted it to, but this is something else. Atleast. well, atleast he's gonna end up in the empty. that's what Billie promised him, right? Atleast he'll be with cas.
Still, Still. he's only human, and he's drowning in his own blood, can smell it, can taste it, it's everywhere, it's —
"I need you to.... to tell me... that it's okay," he says, and his voice comes out trembling, panicked. terrified. God. "I need you to tell me that it's okay."
his brother turns away from him, and dean can't hear him over the ringing in his ears, but he knows the stubborn bastard, the way his shoulders lift. God. God. Cas.
"Look at me," he pleads. "I need... I need..." he can't breathe. god, he can't breathe. "Please, Sam. I need you to tell me that it's okay."
Sam's face swims to the front of his line of sight, all warped like it's on the other side of a fishbowl. dean clutches at his brother harder. tries to, anyway. he's so tired. he's so fucking tired.
his fingers slip.
Something warm, and sam holds him in place.
"Dean...," and in another world, dean would've made fun of the blubbering mess he's become. would've teased him for caring so much about his stupid older brother. "it's okay. It's okay. i— I got you."
it's crazy, dean thinks, that it helps. the tone of his brother's voice. his face, even warped and cracking open with grief. dean raised this kid, and it was a bitch of a job, and man, did he hate it at times, but look at sam now. he did good. he did so good. he did —
dean goes under like he's being put to sleep. almost easy, almost soft. Thanks, he thinks, the last coherent thought in his head. Thanks, kid.
~
He wakes up on a road. The sun shines down bright like it's the start of summer, and there's this pleasant warmth in the air. the world around him is golden, stretching into the horizon on flat land where it meets the brown mounds of the black hills. dean blinks up at the mountains, a strange chill crawling down his spine.
"You're here early," a familiar voice says, and dean turns to find himself standing in front of Bobby's porch. light's drenched this whole place, too, making the wood panelling look blond. Bobby's fucking smiling. Shit. Shit.
dean's starting to feel disoriented, almost.
"And what's 'here' supposed to be, exactly?"
Bobby frowns, his smile slipping. he looks at dean like he's a right fool. "Heaven, dean," he says. "where else'd you think you'd go?"
dean thought.... Fuck. there's a strange emptiness pushing at the inside of dean's skin. he feels like he's been put together upside down. Billie.... Billie....
Billie's in the empty, and fuck. maybe grudges don't get passed down to the new death. fuck. fuck.
Dean stumbles to the porch steps, crumples on them when he can't go further. Absently, he's aware of Bobby moving behind him, the creaking of his rocking chair, his footsteps on the wood.
he stares out at the grass, the outline of the mountains, the clear blue sky. it's beautiful. it's nothing. it's empty. fuck. fuck. what the hell is dean supposed to do now. without — what the hell is he supposed to do?!
Bobby's hand is warm on his shoulder. dean feels small, the way he leans into it, the way he kinda wants to cry.
"what's wrong, dean?" Bobby asks, and his voice is all wrong , like he's tried to scrape the gruffness out of it and badly. dean could laugh. but. fuck. fuck.
why the hell is he here? why is he here?!
he swallows. shit's never really gone his way in life, so why would it in death? he swallows again. says, "i don't know, Bobby."
Me, he thinks. I'm what's wrong.
"i don't know."
#two things: a) ambiguous ending bc canon stupid#b) dean loves his baby brother he does but NOT LIKE THAT respectfully don't be w/incesting in the tags#this is destiel brought to you by doe hauntedpearl#sorry about this#excuse typos writing this with my swipe keyboard rip#no beta i die like myself only#doe's writing#spn drabble#fanfic etc#oh! ask to be tagged. btw.
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ix ⊹ ࣪ ˖ Duck Pond Days
Series mlist
Tags — mention of suicide, fat jokes again (panda will never escape)
Words — 1.6k
“Ow, shit!”
The shrill voices of stupid students rang through the grassy expanse of the park, creating an echo of obnoxiously happy losers. By now, you were certain Toge and Yuji had given themselves concussions. Yuji somehow got the bright idea to spin the merry-go-round at full speed and attempt to jump off. Toge had (unsurprisingly) jumped on the opportunity to participate, resulting in both of them lying on the ground like squashed bugs (and probably lacking the brain cells to be considered much more anyway).
You’d expected them to get along, but this was more than you’d anticipated. This was a good thing, of course, but you could feel their stupidity seeping into you from all edges the more their laughter circled through the air. It was captivating, the moment. It was as if it was only you, your big group of people who were too free for their own good, and the blur of colours that was the bright metal of the playground. The sun had began to set, the streetlights reflecting from every surface, every direction surrounding you.
You were breathing heavily, gasps of air falling from your lips. Considering you’d spent the past hour constantly evading death by arrogance, you had to admit that you were somewhat tuckered out. Though your moment of peace was interrupted, a childish whine cutting through the air and catching your attention. “[name], help!” Nobara fussed, lazily reaching for you as she was dragged to the swingset by an overly happy Yuji. He seemed to be in his element, as odd as that felt saying.
You grinned, shaking your head. She let out a gasp of feigned shock, crying out dramatically. “You’re such a traitor!” You could only laugh, shoving your hands into the shallow pockets of your pants. You were left alone now, the bustling group of people –that being everyone except for Yuta, Maki, and Megumi– moving from one place to the next. You twiddled with the lint within the fabric of your pockets, hoping the small action would at help with the cold, placebo or not. Winter was creeping in, rigid and frosty, freezing the tips of your fingers and leaving nothing but stiff nubs in their place. You should’ve worn a coat, or something thicker than the thin, hoodless sweater you were wrapped in now. A shiver crawled over your skin, a cold gust of air blowing past you.
“Are you cold?” Yuta asked from behind you, making you startle a bit. He’d always been somewhat an observer, something that was both a blessing and a curse. You shrugged, though the goosebumps rising beneath your sleeves spoke louder. “A bit,” you responded, knowing there wasn’t much of a point in denying it. It wasn’t like he could help much, anyway, he’d not worn a coat himself.
“You should try moving around, it helps,” he smiled, his tired eyes shining with warmth. You nodded, offering a smile back, a breath leaving your nose. And then he went back to his conversation with Maki, that shine in his eyes seeming to brighten the moment he turned back at her. All doughy and sweet.
You turned away, feeling as if you were interrupting something. You glanced around, taking in everything around you and what you could do. Your eyes landed on a bench nearby, one of few in the area. That would be nice, a place to sit and breathe for a moment. One problem, though. One of the spaces was occupied by a dark figure, one you’d grown to recognize all too well. It wouldn’t be weird for you to sit, would it? Ah, fuck it. You’d never been one to care much for what was “weird”, what about this was different?
It was only a few short strides over to the little structure, the soft click of your shoes against the concrete just barely sounding through the area. There was a soft noise as you sat down, one that alerted the boy next to you of your presence. He glanced up, the swirling sea that was his eyes meeting yours. It was silent for a moment, though it didn’t seem out of place. More like words didn’t need to be said, not now.
“You aren’t one for the playground?” you asked, the corners of your mouth upturning into a soft smirk.
“Not necessarily,” he replied, something akin to a chuckle leaving his lips. The two of you glanced back at everyone else, both the duo that had broken off and the group of idiots, a clump of people that was larger in mass. The day was growing darker, undeniably so, but the light of their spirits did much more to brighten the place than the days light. Perhaps the sun itself even quivered as it gazed upon the way they illuminated the space.
In the peaceful solitude of his presence, you couldn’t help but be reminded of the time when it was just you and Megumi. Freshly teenagers, on the rare occasion you’d hang out (not including what might as well have been nurse training), you’d often find yourselves at the park near your houses. You’d make a stop at the convenience store nearby, pick up a drink or something to snack on, of which he’d silently insist he paid for. Sometimes, he’d actually end up smacking your hands away from the register. A gentleman, pride, or just daddy’s money? A mystery you’ve yet to solve, even years later.
After your run to the store, the two of you would walk down the street, being met with the somewhat grassy plains that blanketed the ground. You’d have small conversations about anything and everything, and oddly, it was one of few times you saw him that he wasn’t so guarded. Didn’t constantly act like he was ready to defend himself, if the need came. He was docile, almost. Not like a dog, but a loyal wolf, one that bared its teeth at all but one.
You’d always stop to feed the ducks. It became ritual. So you’d feed them your bread and smile as they took the offering, that sliver of unity turning into light in the depths of your irises, and you’d always miss the way his eyes reflected it as he watched you. Sure, he didn’t mind the ducks. They were cute, even. But the domestic joy of them as they fed had nothing on you. If only you’d ever known.
Snapping out of your little daze, you glanced back at him. As he caught your eye for that split second before he looked away, you saw a glimpse of the past within his. It was almost as if he was remembering, too.
“I’m gonna go for a walk,” he said casually, pushing himself from the bench and onto his feet. Your eyes trailed after him, after every movement of his body as he extended to his full height. You let a hum vibrate in your throat, not knowing much else to respond with.
He took a few steps forward, then just barely glanced back at you over his shoulder. “You coming?”
Your head turned up to him, and it took you a moment to process his words. It was a simple question, really, you didn’t know what had you short circuiting. With a furrow of your brow and a hurried nod, you stood. “Yeah, yeah sure.”
-
The walk wasn’t all that eventful, but it was enough. Enough for the two of you, at least. You could appreciate the peace. You even passed by the duck pond, and though empty, it was a little something that made a familiar smile tug at your lips. Something that made his eyes land on you, made your surroundings flicker with what seemed to be the familiarity of the moment. Of each other.
You glanced back at him, hearing the sound of a zipper and the soft rub of fabric on itself. You were met with the sight of a heap of black material being held out to you. You looked up at him questioningly, tilting your head to the side.
“You told Yuta you were cold.”
You blinked up at him for a moment, recalling that yes, indeed you’d told Yuta that. He’d been listening? Wow, quite the attentive one he was. Hesitantly, you took it from him, pushing your arms through the sleeves as you wrapped his jacket around you. “Thank you,” you said softly, a smile returning to your face. He just nodded, humming as you once again fell into step beside each other.
The figures of your friends grew closer in the dark of the approaching night, their faces all turning in your direction as the echo of your swift steps reached their senses. You were pulled from your conversation, the voices of your friends far too frantic for the moment, in your opinion. Or at least the voice of Yuji.
“Where were you?” Maki asked calmly, a contrast to the other vocals piercing through your ears. “Isn’t it obvious?” Toge began with a grin. “She was-“ he said, followed by a pathetic string of muffled words as Yuta slapped a hand over his mouth.
“I thought you died,” Yuji gasped, placing a hand on his forehead. You and Megumi shared a look, as if to say many things that couldn’t be voiced. You rolled your eyes, though amusement painted across your lips as you took in his dramatics. He was funny, at least he was that much.
Maki sighed, though her annoyance was obviously not pure. She shook her head at the antics of the others, nodding to you. “We’re gonna get going.” Ah, that was right. You’d driven together. You nodded, looking back to Megumi who had fallen a few steps behind you.
“Well, okay. Bye, Fushiguro,” you said. Something in his jaw ticked, and you could almost see the thoughts in his eyes. “What?” you said softly, so that it was only between the two of you.
“That’s not my name,” he said, a concealed bitterness behind his nonchalant tone. You’d always called him Megumi when you were younger, but that felt oddly casual now. Especially since his own best friends referred to him by his last name.
You let out a breath, a mix of a laugh and a sigh. “Sorry. Bye, Megumi,” you said. And with a small wave, you left. You almost caught the way satisfaction washed over him, the way it blanketed him as he began to feel something warm residing in his chest.
It wasn’t until you’d settled in the leather of Maki’s passenger seat that you remembered his jacket. Oh well, you’d just have to meet with him again to return it.
Taglist !¡ —
@1l-ynn @meowymeowbreow @missunrise @kiss-my-asscheeks @starrysho @good-mourning0 @gumims @beaniesayshi @mrowwww @luvvmae @megumislovedoll @qingpunk @azharyy @starsryi @tibibibi123 @rreveurdoll @idkidk32 @dazaisfavgf @tlissablr @vi0let-writes
Chat please stop threatening to kill yourselves and others the angst won’t kill you. ENOUGH also said mention of angst also butterfly effected a ghost into haunting me did yall know that ⁉️ I’m on ep 10 of aot ts peak gonna be my personality for a while anyway this was all written in one sitting and im half asleep so uh oops
#jjk#jjk megumi#megumi fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen#megumi x reader#jjk smau#jjk x reader#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#fushiguro x reader
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billy x reader - time traveler billy
Everything happens so quickly that you don’t have time — at first — to realize how odd the situation is. The man’s clothes make him look like a refugee from a Western, and everything about him, from the curl of his hair to the way he stands marks him out as someone…different, somehow. Not to mention, of course, that he’s standing in the middle of the street, looking about as out of place and freaked out as a squirrel dropped into the middle of the ocean.
But even if you could put your finger on it, you don’t have the time to consider what makes him so strange.
First, you’ll have to get him out of the path of the oncoming car.
You have, in point of fact, never actually tackled someone before, let alone someone who seems to be quite a bit taller than you and undoubtedly heavier. But you take your best shot, leaning in and diving at his waist, hoping to make him fold like a lawn chair. Maybe it’s just the shock, or maybe you actually find the right angle — you have no idea, but it doesn’t really matter. You manage to knock the guy sideways, both of you stumbling toward the safety of the sidewalk as the car screeches past, the driver laying on his horn.
You watch as the guy flinches at the noise, actually clapping his hands over his ears as he squeezes his eyes shut, like he’s praying with all his might that the noise will just stop. Fortunately for him, the car turns the corner up ahead, and the sound of the horn fades as it goes. You watch it go, wondering absently how long Speed Racer is going to keep honking, and then you look back at the guy whose life you’ve saved.
“Are you okay?” It’s probably a stupid question, considering what little information you already have, but you don’t know what else to say. The guy lowers his hands and squints at you, staring as if you’re the one dressed like an extra from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. “Hey — are you alright?”
He shakes his head, more like he’s trying to chase away a bothersome gnat than answering you.
You’re starting to worry that he’s hit his head, although you can’t see a cut or a bruise on his temple. Now that you’re looking at him properly, it’s really rather difficult to keep from noticing how…well, how hot he is. It’s probably — definitely — inappropriate to even think about it, you’re well aware, considering he’s either injured, intoxicated in some way, or just going through it, but you can’t ignore the fact now that it’s quite literally staring you in the face.
His eyes are large and blue, framed by thick, dark lashes as long as your pinky finger, set above a strong, straight nose that reminds you of a Greek statue, as perfectly sculpted as if it’s been made from marble. His lips are astonishingly full, his jawline and cheekbones each as defined as the dictionary, and you think there just might be the shadow of a dimple in his chin. And he’s tall, too, topping you by nearly a foot, his broad shoulders tapering to an angular waist. You realize, belatedly, that you’re staring, but then again, so is he.
“Are you okay?” you say again. “Is there something I can do for you? Someone I can call?”
He swallows, giving another shake of his head. “I don’t…I dunno where I am.”
It’s the first time you’ve heard him speak, and his voice brings to mind sage brush and sunsets, the smoke that swirls over a campfire as it crackles with life, warm and husky, with a twang that makes you think of the bite of whiskey.
“Okay,” you say, and without thinking about it, you take his hand. It feels natural, like trying to guide a lost child, or trying to make sure you don’t lose him in a crowd. As soon as his palm touches yours, you feel a shock race up your arm, and you have the strangest sensation of a door closing, separating one moment from the next as definitively as an axe splitting wood.
His fingers curl around yours, his expression almost pleading.
“Okay,” you repeat. “Okay. Just…come with me. I’ll help you.”
You can tell, if not just by the expression on his face — half-hopeful, half-bracing, as if he’s expecting a blow to fall any second — that he’s not used to asking for help, especially not from strangers. It makes your heart hurt just a little bit. You give his hand a gentle squeeze, and you’re softened — or maybe melted — by the way he smiles at you, shy but appearing more heartened than he did just a moment ago.
Then another car whizzes by, and he winces like someone has taken a shot at him. He ducks down, his eyes so wide that they look like a pair of full moons, their cornflower centers the only source of color in his face. “The hell is that?”
You stare at him. If he didn’t look so terrified, you’d think he was joking. But if he’s not joking, then he’s either on an incredible cocktail of drugs, or he’s from that weird isolated cult town in The Village. “It’s…it’s a car,” you say.
“A car,” he repeats, as if you’ve just told him the secret to life in Mandarin.
“Yeah,” you say. “You know…a horseless carriage.”
For some reason, this seems to impart some understanding to him, but you can tell he’s still plenty freaked out. “Carriages don’t go that fuckin’ fast!”
You try very, very hard not to laugh, but god, it’s hard. You’re having to draw on nearly every ounce of compassion you have. It helps that, really, he’s not wrong. Not that you’ve ever ridden in a carriage, because you’re not Keira Knightley in a period film, but you don’t think they’re capable of speeds like that.
“If it makes you feel any better,” you say, “you don’t have to worry about getting into a horseless carriage with me. I hate driving.”
Now that it’s just the two of you standing on the sidewalk again, the road mercifully free of cars, he seems to relax a little, at least enough to consider your words. “Well,” he says. “That’s something.”
Not entirely sure where to go, you decide the police station is as good a place as any. It might be a little Hallmark movie of the week, but maybe someone has already filed a missing persons report on him. With that thought, it occurs to you that you need some information first.
“Do you remember your name?” you ask.
The look he gives you indicates he has never been quite so offended in his life. You can’t help but laugh this time. “Well, I don’t know!” you say. “You don’t know where you are, you’re walking around here looking like a puppy at the start of an ASPCA ad — maybe you’re suffering from some kind of amnesia.”
He doesn’t look any less nonplussed, but something about your laughter has loosened the muscles in his face. He smiles at you. You try to ignore the way your stomach flips to focus on his answer. “Billy,” he says.
You fight the urge to repeat his name, rolling it around in your mouth like candy. “Come on,” you say, his hand still in yours. “We’re not gonna get anywhere just standing here. Do you trust me?”
He smiles again, though this time with a bit of a razor’s edge to it. “Not like I got much choice, honey,” he says, and then pauses, softens. “Yeah. You’ve been nicer to me than most people would’ve, findin’ a stranger in the middle of nowhere, actin’ like he’s been dropped on his head. I wouldn’t have blamed ya if you’d run the other direction.”
You have no idea why, but what springs from your mouth before you can help yourself is: “I couldn’t do that to you.”
He studies you for a minute. His gaze feels as physical as a caress, and just as intimate. If not more so. You both do and don’t want it to stop.
“Come on,” you say again, at least in part to break the silence. “Follow me.”
The two of you start walking, following the weathered gray slabs of cracked, uneven concrete that your small town calls a sidewalk as it winds its way into town.
After a few moments of quiet, he says, “You never told me your name.”
When you introduce yourself, he smiles again. “That’s nice,” he says. “Pretty.”
Your stomach flips again, and you have to remind yourself that you don’t know anything about this guy, except — only just now — his name. The fact that he’s tall, gorgeous, and really does give off a hurt puppy sort of vibe doesn’t matter. And it definitely doesn’t matter that his smile spreads across his face like a sunrise coloring the sky with ribbons of pastels. He could be a serial killer, or if not that extreme, some kind of —
The two of you are still, for reasons not entirely clear to you and probably not much clearer to him, holding hands, so you’re jerked out of your thoughts by the fact that he’s gone stock still.
“You’re takin’ me to the sheriff?”
If the dread clinging to his voice like a weed choking out a weaker plant wasn’t bad enough, he’s frozen still on the sidewalk, looking at you as if you’ve…well, as if you’ve betrayed him somehow. The pit of your stomach turns to ice.
“The sheriff?” you repeat. You feel oddly, stupidly, disappointed. A guy with nothing to hide doesn’t act like this when someone brings him to the authorities. The disillusionment washing over you makes your tongue sharp. “Who the hell are you, Barney Fife?”
He frowns. “I told you my name.”
“Yeah, I — never mind.” You shake your head and let go of his hand. The bare skin of your palm feels oddly cold. “What’s the matter? I thought someone might be looking for you. Maybe someone filed a missing persons report.”
“I don’t think so, darlin’.” He glances at the police station again, his throat bobbing. A pause, and then, softly, like he’s making a confession: “Nobody left that cares about me that much. Unless they wanna cause me some hurt.”
You feel the strangest mixture of sympathetic and prickly, as if you’ve been caught doing something wrong by someone who has been directly and seriously hurt by your actions. “Well…” You clear your throat, trying to find the right words to defend yourself. “I mean, listen, what kind of hurt? Are you a criminal or something?”
One corner of his mouth tilts up in a bitter approximation of a grin. “Or somethin’, honey,” he says. “I got a reputation I never wanted and that I’m not proud of, an’ not one person reads about me in the paper or sees my name on a wanted poster—”
Wanted poster? But something about his fierce, stung expression keeps your mouth shut.
“ — ever gave a damn about the truth. About why I did all that stuff. I didn’t want to!” When his voice rises, equal parts angry and hurt, you can’t help yourself. You reach for his hand again. He takes a deep breath, his fingers grasping yours. “I didn’t want to do any of it. I just wanted…I wanted things to get better. Every time I thought they would, they just got worse.”
You know it would make sense to ask what he actually did, but somehow, you can’t bring yourself to put the words out there. He looks ashamed and angry, but defiant, too, as if daring you to do it. Or, worse, to pass judgement. But you just press your lips together.
“I wanted to go straight,” he says. “I wanted a good job for a respectable boss, so I could keep a roof over my head and food in my belly. Damn it, I just wanted some peace—”
When his voice breaks, you feel it in your chest, as if a fissure has opened up in your collarbone. Your own eyes burn, a reaction as instantaneous and out of your control as a burning red welt raising up around a bee’s stinger. It hurts you, to see him hurt, and you can’t even begin to explain to yourself why that is.
“Well, I…I…” You fumble your words, not even sure what you’re going to say. But you know you have to say something. “I…okay, so, we’ll…we’ll go somewhere else. We’ll figure it out.”
He looks about as shocked to hear you say that as he was by the car burning rubber on the road leading into town. “You mean it?”
You swallow down the stupid feeling that you’re going to cry, and you nod. “Yeah, come on,” you say, and you hold out your hand again. He takes it. “We’ll go back to my place.”
He offers you another crooked smile, but this one is more surprised, almost tender, like you’ve shown him something sweet and unexpected hidden in the palm of your hand. “You sure about that, sweetheart?” he says. “You don’t know me all that well. I’d understand if you didn’t want a strange man in your home.”
Forget not knowing him that well, you don’t really know him at all, but you just tell him, “I’m sure.”
Because you are. In what seems to be the theme of the day, you can’t explain why, but it just feels…safe. Despite the little Dateline-themed voice in your head telling you otherwise, you can’t ignore the certainty, heavy and inexplicable, that you’ve been here before. He’ll step into your apartment and feel at ease, because this isn’t the first time he’s been your home. It will fit like an old coat, comfortable and soft and easy.
It’s insane, but you can’t turn your thoughts away from it.
His fingers lace with yours, and he rubs his thumb over your knuckle. The way he’s looking at you, so intently, his gaze never wavering from yours, makes you feel as though you’re being turned inside out, exposed. The moment when he froze with fear as the two of you approached the police — sheriff — station seems distant in both time and space, like you’ve gone forward many miles and many years in time in the space of just a few minutes.
“No cars, right?” he says, his crooked smile widening. The word cars sits in his mouth like he isn’t quite used to the shape of it, but you’re so charmed by the fact that he’s trying to make a joke. That the two of you have a joke to share.
“No cars,” you say.
You’re walking again. Now and again you pass other people, who look at Billy the way you must have looked at him when you first saw him — eyebrows furrowed, pushing down over their eyes, glance flicking over him as if a quick look will make any more sense than a lingering one. Billy doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn’t seem to care. He’s too busy looking around at everything else; it all seems to shock him to varying degrees, whether it’s the buildings around you, the streetlights and the power lines silhouetted against the sky, the concrete beneath your feet and the asphalt of the road running beside you.
As another car zooms by, Billy lets go of your hand, dosey-do’s behind you, and takes your other hand. Now he’s standing between you and the road. “I don’t like those things,” he mutters, more to himself than to you. “But I like you near ‘em even less.”
Your apartment building is a brick rectangle studded with windows, a pair of double doors set in the middle at the top of a wide set of concrete steps. You lead Billy inside and he stops as you reach for the elevator button.
“What the hell?” he says, again speaking under his breath.
You push the button, watching Billy’s face as the call button lights up. He flinches at the ding, looking around for the source of the noise; you squeeze his hand gently. You wonder again where the hell he came from, that every piece of modern technology seems to make as little sense to him as ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. “It’s okay,” you say. “Just trust me.”
Implicit in your voice is this: I won’t let anything happen to you.
He seems to hear your silent promise, or maybe the words you actually say are enough. Billy smiles thinly and nods.
When the doors slide open, though, he balks. “Are we supposed to go in there?”
“Yes. It’ll take us up to the floor my apartment is on, without us having to go up all those stairs.”
He swallows. “Okay.”
You step into the elevator and he trails after you with the air of a child who is expecting a switching out back. When the elevator starts to rise upward, Billy stares at you incredulously. “It’s okay,” you say again. “It won’t take long, I promise.”
He has a white-knuckle grip on your hand, and he jumps a little at the ding from somewhere above your heads as the elevator comes to a stop. When the doors slide open, he relaxes a little. “That’s all?”
“That’s all,” you confirm, and you lead him down the hallway. He waits while you fish your keys out and let yourselves inside your apartment.
As soon as the door closes behind you, Billy’s shoulders soften. You watch him as he looks around, feeling oddly nervous. As if it matters whether or not he likes your place.
Your building is old — you think from the 1920s or thereabouts, if you remember what your landlord said when she showed you the place five years ago — and it shows in the way it looks. Wooden parquet floors the color of honey are softened by rugs that you found at a flea market, a brown velvet couch slouching in front of a square, red-brick fireplace, framed by a mantle scattered with knickknacks. Billy smiles as he wanders over, picking up a little statuette shaped like a cat, wearing a collar of flat chips of glass.
“Cute,” he says, offering you another smile, and you feel inordinately pleased.
His gaze roams around the living room. To his left, a doorway hung with a beaded curtain leads into the kitchen, and in front of him, a hallway runs to the back of the apartment, with your bedroom on one side and a bathroom on the other. His gaze turns back to the mantle, lifting to the wall above it, where a flatscreen TV is fixed.
“What is that?” he says, leaning forward to inspect this dim reflection in the screen. “A mirror?”
Despite yourself, a snort works its way out of your mouth, and he shoots you a wounded look. “Sorry,” you say, putting your hand over your mouth. “Sorry. No, it’s my TV.”
You have another, smaller one in your room, but you decide one television might be enough for him to deal with right now.
“A — a T…V?” he says, repeating the two letters distinctly, as if they have nothing to do with each other. “What’s that?”
Your lips part, and you stare at him for a second. “Billy,” you say. “Where are you from?”
His brow furrows, like he doesn’t quite understand what you’re asking. “Well,” he says slowly. “Most recently I’ve been livin’ in New Mexico. Why?”
New Mexico. That really doesn’t answer your question. “Where in New Mexico?”
His puzzled frown deepens, but he doesn’t ask why you’re pressing him. Maybe he figures you deserve to know, after saving his life and bringing him back to your apartment. “Lincoln, right now,” he says.
You don’t know much about Lincoln — or New Mexico, for that matter — but you don’t think it’s some reclusive community where they wouldn’t know about elevators or cars.
The next question you have is crazy, totally insane, really — but you think you’ve seen doctors on TV ask concussion victims the same thing. And that’s definitely all it is. Because there’s no way this could actually be the problem.
“Billy,” you say again. “What year is it?”
Now it’s his turn to huff out a laugh through his nose. “What year is it? It’s 1881.”
You’re so floored by this statement that you blurt out, without much — or any — tact: “No, it’s not.”
He looks like he’s on the verge of arguing with you, but maybe everything hits him all at once. The cars, the technology he doesn’t understand, the very world around him that looks so different from what he’s used to. “What…what year is it, then?”
You blink. “2024,” you say.
This time, when he laughs, there’s no humor in it, only a sharp incredulity. “You’re crazy,” he says, but without much heat. It’s almost like a plea, as though he’s offering you the opportunity to take it back. To say something that actually makes sense, because — and you have to give it to him, he’s not wrong — this doesn’t make sense at all.
And yet, unless he’s been severely brainwashes or he’s just putting you on, it’s also the only option.
“How did I get here?” he says, and he sounds — and looks — like he might cry again. “What do I do now?”
“I don’t know,” you say. Then you reach for him, and even before your hands find his face, he’s moving closer to you. He holds onto your waist, like you’re a lifeline. “I don’t know. I don’t know how you got here, or why, but you’re not alone, okay? You have me.”
It doesn’t even register with you at first that this is an incredibly strange, if not downright dangerous, thing to say to someone you met not even two hours ago. Especially considering you’re saying it to a man who is bigger and undoubtedly stronger than you. But you don’t feel like you’re putting yourself at risk.
Billy, though, says what you’re thinking, except he says it with a sense of wonder. It almost sounds like a prayer. “I don’t even know you,” he murmurs.
Yes, you do.
The thought seems to come from outside of you, as if someone has turned to a fresh page in your mind and written it there in their own hand.
Billy says your name, still in that awestruck voice. It feels as though there is a web spun between you, gossamer-fine but indissoluble. The fact that he could be an honest-to-god time traveler makes more sense to you than the idea that you only met him today.
“1881,” you repeat, and he chuckles.
“2024,” he returns.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-two.”
“Oh,” you say, relieved. Although technically if he’s twenty-two and from the year 1881, that means he’s around 165 years old, but who’s counting? “Me too.”
He smiles, an uptick of the corner of his mouth that nonetheless makes your heart skip in your chest. You decide that you want his hands on you, always, his gaze on you, always, but then you remember something else you have to show him.
“Come here,” you say, taking his hand again. You lead him down the hallway to the bathroom, the sight of which earns you another look at his stunned, disbelieving face. “Okay. This is my bathroom.” You point. “That’s a toilet.” You try to remember when toilets were invented. “It’s like…an outhouse. But inside.”
Billy snorts. “I know what a toilet is.”
You hum. There’s that, at least. “This is definitely new,” you say, and you point to the shower. He nods. You have one of those with a glass door, which you — a little embarrassingly, now — have declared with decals of cartoon sea creatures, including a whale, a puffer fish, and a little scuba diver. “Right. This a shower.”
You push the door open, reaching inside and turning the knob so the water comes pouring out. Billy jumps at the sudden noise and stares as steam fill the room. “It’s hot?” he says uncertainly.
“It can be,” you say. “If you twist this knob here, it can get cooler, though. But it won’t hurt you.”
“What do you do?” he says, peering at the shower. “It’s for bathin’?”
You nod. “You just…” You blush and gesture vaguely at his clothes, before gesturing equally vaguely to the floor. “And step in. There’s soap and shampoo for your hair.”
He smiles crookedly. “Are you tryin’ to tell me I don’t smell like roses, honey?”
You laugh a little. “I mean, well…”
He grins again before looking resolutely at the shower. “Okay,” he says. “I’ll try.”
You give him privacy, shutting the door behind you, though you hover nervously in the hallway in case he needs you. You’re worried about him slipping and falling, so you have to resist the temptation to press your ear against the door. Finally, you hear the water shut off — you’re proud of him for figuring out how to do that, without dousing himself in ice water or boiling himself alive — and you realize, just then, that you have to get him fresh clothes.
“Hold on!” you call through the door.
You hurry into your room and find an old college t-shirt that you “borrowed” from your dad, along with a pair of pajama bottoms that are advertised as unisex but absolutely swim on you at the cuffs, so you hope they’re long enough for him. You knock on the bathroom door, and when it opens a crack, you hold out the clothes while carefully turning your head away. “Here,” you say. “These should fit.”
“Thank you,” he says, voice muffled by the door, and then he takes the clothes and the door shuts again.
You perch on the couch in the living room, waiting for him. The bathroom door opens fully, releasing a cloud of fragrant steam, and you smile encouragingly as you see Billy standing in the doorway. The pants do indeed fit, although the t-shirt hangs on him a little.
“What did you think?” you ask. “Of your first shower experience?”
Billy chuckles, coming to sit next to you on the couch. You’re so aware of his proximity that it makes the air between you sing. There’s something about the sight of him, freshly showered and smiling, seemingly more relaxed now, that makes you want to lean into him.
“It was nice,” he says. “Warm.”
You’ve lost count of how many times today that it’s happened, but once again, he takes your hand.
“Thank you for takin’ care of me,” he says softly. “You’re a sweet girl. I’m glad I met you.”
Coming from anyone else, being called a sweet girl would make you feel like a toy poodle. But coming from Billy, in his warm, molasses-slow drawl, it just makes you feel warm, like you’re bathing in sunshine.
“I’m glad, too,” you murmur.
It would be crazy to kiss him right now, right? You know the answer is yes. You know that. Still, ever since the moment his voice broke outside the police station, you’ve felt…protective over him. More than that, you’ve felt connected. It’s as if seeing him break down, even if it was only for a moment, in turn broke down something between the two of you.
You remember that sensation when you first took his hand, as if a door had slammed solidly shut between this moment and the rest of your life, and you think maybe there wasn’t so much of a barrier up in the first place.
Billy touches your cheek with the very pads of his fingertips, as if he’s afraid that you’re a bubble that will burst from rough contact. “What the hell?” he says softly, and you laugh, because you know it’s not really a question you’re supposed to answer. “We just met today?”
You nod.
“And some way or another, I’ve traveled…” A pause while he does the math. “140-odd years in the future?”
You nod again.
“Alright, then,” he says mildly, and he kisses you.
It feels like the world turns inside out from a point centered around the two of you, spiraling and twisting outward until it forms again, entirely new, bigger and grander, humming and buzzing like a live-wire. Your hands grasping his shoulders feel like the only reason you aren’t just floating away, and the way he grips your waist makes you think he feels the same. You press closer to him, his arms encircling you as he pulls you onto his lap.
A hoarse chuckle comes from somewhere around the fireplace. “You kids usually take longer than this.”
You jump out of your skin, and before you can blink, you find yourself sprawled on the couch cushions, Billy on his feet in front of you. One hand goes to his belt only to grasp at the air. He scowls and brandishes his fists instead, and then—
“Old Moss?”
You sit up. “You know this guy?”
An old man has his elbow propped on the mantelpiece, a tattered hat perched on his head. He’s shorter than Billy, stockier, but their clothes are much the same, along with the weathered tan on their faces. The old man, though, has a beard covering the lower half of his face, spilling over his chest like dirty cotton.
“I…” Billy shakes his head, seemingly just as flummoxed — if not more — than he was before. “I knew him when I was a kid. He helped my family cross the country.”
The old man — Old Moss — chuckles. “I’m not Old Moss, son,” he says. “I took on this form to make you more comfortable. Otherwise you would have tried to wallop me, I bet, and that wouldn’t have been good for you.”
Billy stiffens, and he puts one arm behind him, to keep you behind him on the couch. “Who the hell are you, then?”
Old Moss (you don’t know what else to call him) shrugs. “A representative of the universe,” he says, waving his hand to underscore this grand sentiment. “My speciality is helpin’ lovers find each other in every lifetime.”
A shiver dances down your spine. “Every lifetime?” you murmur.
“Oh, sure,” Old Moss says. “You two have found each other in every life since your souls first came into being.” He smiles crookedly. “Thanks to me. You’re welcome.”
Another grin creases his face. “This time, I thought I’d try things a little bit differently,” he says, shrugging. “I’ve never pulled one soul from a different point in time before. I wasn’t sure if it would work, to be honest with you.”
He grins again. “Judgin’ by the way you were treatin’ her face like an ice cream cone, though, I’m guessing it did.”
Despite yourself, you giggle.
Out of the corner of his mouth, slanting a glance at you, Billy murmurs, “What’s a—?”
“I’ll get you one later. You’ll like it,” you assure him, and now you do stand next to him, patting him gently on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, though, you kiss better than that.”
Old Moss chuckles. “You guys got any questions before I go?”
You think for a second. “How many lives has it been?”
“Mmm…” The old man tugs on his beard thoughtfully. “I’d say this is your…I dunno, I lost track. Somewhere around 200, I think, maybe a little north of that.”
Your hand creeps into Billy’s, and he squeezes gently.
“And we loved each other in all of them?” you say.
Old Moss’s expression is almost unbearably kind. He nods. “All of them,” he says.
Billy’s shoulder presses against yours, and you feel the contact from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. Somehow, over 200 lifetimes of loving him doesn’t seem like a surprise.
“An’ I…I get to stay here with her?” Billy says now. “I don’t gotta go back there?”
Buried in the snowy tangles of his beard, Old Moss’s mouth twitches. You can’t tell if it’s a smile, or if he’s trying to swallow tears. “Yeah, son,” he says. “You get to stay.”
Billy’s hand tightens around yours, as if he’s worried — despite Old Moss’s confirmation — that someone is going to take him away from you. You grip his hand tighter in turn. Like you’re going to let that happen.
You look over at Billy, and he turns his head to meet your gaze. You can see every one of those lifetimes in his eyes, caught in his gaze like snowflakes on his lashes, and you hope there’s going hundreds more, going on until the world itself ends. Nothing else will be enough.
By the time you can turn your eyes away from him, Old Moss is gone. You look over at Billy again, and he grins at you. “I guess representatives of the universe favor Irish goodbyes.”
You grin back at him, winding your arms around his neck. “It seems like I’m stuck with you now,” you say, and he chuckles.
“Seems so.”
He leans down to kiss you. The world turns inside out and spirals again — and again — and again — and…by the time it’s settled again, and Billy breaks the kiss, you think that you’d be happy if you spent this lifetime and each one to come just doing this.
“So…” Billy smiles crookedly. “About that ice cream cone?”
You laugh. There’s a thousand things to set him up with — how the hell does somebody get a Social Security number at twenty-something years old? — but you can figure that out later.
For now —
“Let’s take you to get one,” you say. “And I’ll introduce you to the unbeatable combination of gummy bears and ice cream.”
“What are—?”
You laugh, taking his hand and rising onto your toes to peck his cheek. “Just trust me. You’ll love it.”
#billy the kid 2022#billy the kid x reader#billy the kid fan fiction#william h bonney fanfiction#tom blyth
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darling, dearest, dead
written for the @steddiemicrofic challenge for November | prompt: guard | wc: 532 | rated: G | cw: major character death (but not really?) | tags: angst with a hopeful ending, Ghost!Steve Harrington, GhostHunter!Eddie Munson
There’s a legend that the first person who gets buried in a cemetery becomes the guardian of all the other souls buried there after. They become a reaper of sorts, ferrying the newly dead from this world to the next—a place they can never go.
This is what happens to Steve Harrington, aged just eighteen when he tragically dies in the Starcourt tragedy in ‘85.
Steve, who dies but doesn’t move on. Doesn’t go peacefully into that good night, or however the hell the saying goes. He can’t.
Steve, who attends his own burial, but despite how loud he screams into the faces of his loved ones, goes entirely unheard.
He eventually gets it, of course. Despite what everyone thinks (thought? Do they still think of him?) Steve isn’t stupid. He catches on quickly when the first few souls come wandering up to him, lost and alone. Steve can see the path they’re supposed to follow, even when they can’t. So, Steve takes the time to explain to them what he knows, tries to comfort them, before guiding them towards the afterlife.
It’s a curse, really. Eternal isolation. Decades pass but Steve remains. The few souls he speaks to are always so eager to leave him. In the end, Steve’s left alone.
And then one day, Eddie Munson comes stomping through his cemetery.
—🛡️—
“What’s with the get up?” A dark haired stranger asks, startling Steve, “there an anime convention going on or something?”
Steve’s eyes trail up and down the newcomer. He wants to make a comment about the strange attire he died in, but upsetting the newly departed usually isn’t a good idea.
“It’s my work uniform. I didn’t have time to change.” Steve explains, a well-rehearsed response. The Scoops uniform that he can never shed was always a point of interest for people. “Sorry, I didn’t see you come in.”
This is the first time Steve’s missed a burial. Strange.
The guy snorts, “don’t apologize. I’m the one intruding. You visiting someone? I can wait to do my shit.”
Steve frowns, brows creasing where they come together. “No. I’m just… waiting.” He answers.
“For the ghost?” The stranger asks, his interest clearly piqued.
Steve blinks. “The ghost?”
“Yeah, y’know. The ghost that supposedly haunts this graveyard. Legend has it it’s some guy who died way back in the 80’s—there've been sightings for like, thirty years, but no one’s been able to actually record anything decent. All the pictures are super blurry. But I intend to change that. I’m Eddie, by the way. Ghost hunter and semi-professional psychic.” Eddie grins, giving a strange little bow in his introduction.
Wait���
“1985?” Steve asks.
“Yep,” Eddie pop’s the ‘p’, “The year Starcourt burned down and old Steven Harrington bit the dust. You know the story?”
Steve didn’t need to breathe—not anymore. And yet, he still felt short of breath. Lightheaded.
“It’s just Steve.” He clarifies.
“Yeah?” Eddie snorts, “how would you—”
A light seems to go off in Eddie’s head. He pales, eyes widening.
“You can really see me?” Steve can’t help but laugh, tears stinging his eyes.
“Yeah, I can see you, Steve.” Eddie mumbles, stunned, looking like he’d seen a ghost.
—
tagging: @sleepy-steve because they let me rant about reaper Steve to them<3 check out her reaper!eddie fic: here!💘
#reaper Steve Harrington#steddie#ghost Steve Harrington#ghost hunter eddie Munson#angst with a hopeful ending#steddie microfic#guard#my writing#write Rae write#November monthly challenge#writing challenge#Steddie fanfic#fanfic#angst#steddiemicrofic#steddiemicroficnovember#Steddie ficlet#Steddie microfic November#steddie fanfiction#steddie challenge#steddie fic challenge
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Denial, Like the River
A Steddie fanfiction
A/N: Minors DNI. Warning, a little smutty. Tw, homophobia
Steve entered the RV, wincing at his wounds. He closed the door and locked it. He slipped off his jacket and then his shirt before grabbing the first aid kit. Just as he opened the box, he heard a loud whimpering. Steve paused and looked around for the sound. Was there an animal in here? He quickly found the source. Eddie was curled up behind the driver's seat, crying.
"Eddie?" Steve asked in concern.
Eddie stood up quickly and wiped his face. He grabbed the first aid kit from Steve.
"Here, let me help you with that," Eddie said, sniffling.
"Are you - no, what a stupid fucking question. Of course, you're not okay," Steve said, and Eddie snorted. "How are you holding up?"
There was a long pause as Eddie focused on unwrapping his bandages and cleaning his wounds. He was surprisingly gentle as he rubbed ointment on his bites. Eddie turned him around to work on the wounds on his arms and back as well. Even though it stung, Eddie's hands also felt good.
"Honestly, trying not to go crazy and trying to stay sane for the kids, too," he finally replied.
"Oh, man, you don't have to do that. I think they don't want to admit how scared they are, hell, I'm scared, too," Steve said.
"You are?" Eddie asked as he finished putting the new bandages on Steve.
Steve turned around to face Eddie again and leaned against the table.
"Of course, just because we've all been through this before doesn't mean that this isn't still terrifying as shit for all of us. I think we've just gotten used to focusing on what's important, and that's saving this town. . .saving you," Steve said. "Man, Dustin's terrified of losing you. He loves you, and I can kind of see why. You're not alone, Eddie."
Steve hated the way his bottom lip quivered and the way his big brown eyes filled with tears. They were very doe-y eyed. The tears spilled over, and Eddie let out a sob. It broke Steve’s heart.
"Everything I touch - Chrissy - I, I'm fucking cursed," Eddie cried.
"No, man, you're not cursed, this fucking town is," Steve said softly.
He stood up and pulled Eddie into his arms. He squeezed him tightly despite the fact that his wounds were killing him. Eddie's body shook as he cried into Steve’s shoulder. Steve cradled the back of his head and began running his hand through his hair. Well, he tried to. Eddie's hair was badly tangled. Eddie winced and hissed as Steve’s fingers snagged at a knot. They both laughed, and that brief moment of comedic relief allowed Eddie to catch his breath. The sniffles subsided, and Eddie went quiet as he continued to keep his head tucked in the crook of Steve’s neck. Eddie let out a sigh as he pulled back. Steve freed a hand and wiped away Eddie's tears, causing a smile to appear on his face. Eddie moved, and suddenly, they were kissing. Everything went blank and fuzzy. There were no thoughts in Steve’s head as he immediately responded to the kiss. It took him a few seconds, but Steve finally realized what was happening. He pulled away.
"What are we doing?" Steve asked.
"You never made out with a friend before?" Eddie asked.
"No," Steve said. "Have you?"
"All the time with Jeff. We're nerds who can't get girls. . .I mean, except that one girl who slept with me as a dare. We like to call it lip hugging," Eddie said and paused, looking sad. "I thought maybe, Chrissy. . ."
"I'm sure she would have, man, without it being a dare. You're hot. . .for a guy," Steve said, and Eddie laughed. "And you're a good man."
"Thanks. . .and thanks for the lip hug, man," Eddie winked. "You're really good at it."
"Thanks for patching me up," Steve said with a smile, and Eddie moved to leave. "Eddie?"
Eddie turned around to face him, looking happier than he did before.
"Yeah?"
"Are we - I mean, are we friends?" Steve asked.
Eddie moved closer to him and brushed a knuckle to Steve’s chin.
"Definitely, big boy," Eddie said and placed a quick kiss to Steve’s lips before bouncing out of the RV.
"EDDDIEEE!"
A chill shot through Steve as he came back from the Creel House with Nancy and Robin when he heard Dustin's scream. Their victory of defeating Vecna and watching his body burning to a crisp was short-lived. Steve shared a look with Nancy and Robin. He didn't hesitate. He took off, running in the direction of Dustin's screams. Dustin was leaning over Eddie's body when they found him. Eddie was covered in blood, surrounded by bat bites, and lying so still. . .Steve felt a cold feeling shoot through his chest. He collapsed next to Eddie.
"Steve, he's not breathing," Dustin sobbed.
Steve felt his stomach wrench, and he wanted to throw up at the look in Dustin's eyes. Steve pressed his ear to Eddie's chest and cursed. He told him not to be a hero, and what did he do? Steve immediately started to perform CPR. Eddie gasped against his mouth and Steve tried not to think about the last time he felt Eddie's lips against his. He pulled back.
"Eddie's breathing! Get to the gate! Now!" Steve yelled as he pulled Eddie into his arms. "Before it closes!"
Nancy and Robin immediately helped Dustin to the gate while Steve did the same with Eddie. He wasn't sure how he was managing to carry Eddie to the gate, but he could guess that it was adrenaline. They helped Steve get Eddie through the gate, and they didn't wait to watch it close before rushing to the hospital. Everything after that happened so fast. Them wheeling Eddie away, not being able to see him, Hopper coming back, and Dr. Owens storming in with a cover story. While most people seemed to buy it, there were still others who weren't quite believing it. So, while Eddie needed to finish his healing, Steve was quick to offer up his house to hide Eddie. He offered it up to Wayne, too, but he said he was staying with a friend, and judging by the way he said it, Steve figured that this friend was a special one. He did give Wayne a key and told him he could stop by whenever he could, which he did. Steve loved it. It felt a lot more cheerful with them both hanging around.
"What's on the tube?" Eddie asked as he plopped on the couch.
It's been several few weeks of healing for both of them. Although Steve had gotten finished faster than Eddie. Their scars were still quite hard to look at it and it was definitely hard to wear shirts, so they went shirtless whenever they could. Steve and Eddie were currently shirtless now, sprawled out on the couch.
"Absolutely nothing," Steve sighed.
"Bummer," Eddie said, crossing his arms, and then glanced over at Steve. "So, you never said how you feel about things ending between you and Wheeler again."
"Actually, it went better than before. We were both a lot more honest with each other, and we're both happy that we tried again. We no longer feel ashamed about what happened that night, and we both know now that we'll always love each other. We, uh, both want different things. So, actually, I feel really good about it," Steve said.
"Well, that's great, man, really," Eddie grinned. "I, uh, never thanked you."
"For what?" Steve asked.
"For carrying me out of hell," Eddie said. "For saving my life."
"I was happy to do it, Eddie, I'm glad you're here," he said softly.
Eddie leaned over and pressed his lips to Steve’s. He cupped the back of Eddie's head and responded eagerly. They haven't done this since the RV, and honestly, Steve had been looking forward to it. He missed the feeling of Eddie's lips. He groaned when Eddie pulled back.
"I just want to thank you, Stevie," Eddie said. "What better way than to give you another lip hug?"
"I'm going to need another hug," Steve whispered.
"Gladly," Eddie said.
"There's nothing on TV anyway," he said.
"Noted."
Eddie climbed into his lap, placing his legs on either side of his hips. He kissed Steve, matching his eagerness from earlier. Steve gasped into his mouth, letting Eddie slip his tongue inside. He placed his hands on Eddie's hips, encouraging him to move them. Eddie rocked his hips and grinded against his clothed hardening cock. A feeling of euphoria rose up inside of Steve. He never felt like this with another man. . .well, he never had another man ride him like Eddie was currently doing. Although there were times with Tommy when they would wrestle, that Steve’s stomach and chest would grow warm. He always chalked it up to getting hot. No, Steve was even warmer than those times he rolled around with Tommy. He moved his hands up Eddie's back and then to his stomach to move them up, gently caressing his scars.
He cupped Eddie's nippleless pec, running his thumb over the scar. It was just as good as cupping a breast. The way Eddie shuddered underneath him told Steve he liked it, but he stopped moving his hips, and his kissing grew softer. Steve broke the kiss, pulled him closer, and shifted him until Steve was to face where Eddie's nipple used to be. He kissed the spot gently at first. Eddie sighed and moaned, curling his fingers into Steve’s hair. He grew more passionate with his kisses, opening his mouth over it. Steve took the bit of skin in his mouth and sucked on it like he would a nipple. Eddie let out a curse. Steve knew he wasn't completely healed yet and that there was some pain, so he pulled back, but Eddie tugged on his hair, keeping him there. Steve bit down.
"JESUS H CHRIST!"
Steve smirked as he pulled away, looking at Eddie.
"You can just call me Steve," he replied.
Eddie flashed his dimples at Steve before sliding off his lap and down to the floor onto his knees. He slipped his fingers into the waistband of Steve’s sweats and boxers. Steve watched with interest as Eddie started sliding them down, and he lifted his hips to help Eddie out. He peeled them all the way off, leaving Steve naked before him except for his socks. Eddie spread Steve’s legs apart and looked down, his eyes dark.
"Big boy, indeed. . .it's not gay if I say it's not gay especially if I'm only thanking you for saving my life, right?" Eddie asked.
"Sounds logical to me," Steve said.
"Hmm, looks like it could use a hug."
Eddie dove between his legs, taking Steve into his mouth.
"Fuck!"
Over the next few weeks, it all escalated from blowjobs to hand jobs, grinding naked against each other until it turned into full blow sex. Steve loved every minute of it. He loved the way Eddie manhandled him, and at the same time, he could be so gentle with him. He loved the way that they both switched as well as fought to be underneath or on top, biting each other and marking each other up along the way. They fucked in the showers, in the kitchen, and on the couch. They had luckily managed to avoid getting caught by Wayne. There were suddenly many situations where there was nothing on TV even when there were tons of stuff on. They didn't talk about it, what they were, or what they were doing. Steve should have known, though, that it was all over when Eddie started going out with Jeff and Doug.
"Oops, Sorry!" Steve heard a giggle come from the hallway and the sound of something breaking.
"Don't worry about it, my roommate's cool with it," Eddie said.
Steve was relaxing on the couch after working all day and giving rides to Dustin. He had hoped to finally cuddle on the couch with Eddie after not seeing him for the past couple of weeks. Eddie had gotten busy working on playing with Corroded Coffin again, and while he has been practicing here, he's mostly been practicing with the guys. Now, it was the first time he was seeing him, and Eddie had brought a girl home. What the fuck? Steve watched as Eddie moved past the entryway, kissing the girl and moving her back against the doorway. She had long strawberry blonde hair, and that was all he could see. Suddenly, Eddie broke the kiss and spotted Steve.
"You don't mind, do you?" Eddie asked.
Steve swallowed his hurt and smiled at him, as well as the bubbly girl in Eddie's arms.
"No, I don't."
"Except that you totally do mind," Robin said.
Steve was stacking videos a week later, and according to Robin, he was stacking them rather angrily.
"No, Robin, I really don't. It's basically his house, too," Steve said. "For whatever reason, they're taking a really long time to find Wayne and Eddie a place."
"Maybe Wayne moved in with his special friend and assumed that Eddie was happy living with you," Robin said.
"I mean, I would be happy if that was the case," Steve said. "I like having Eddie there."
"You don't seem to like having his girlfriend there," Robin pointed out.
"Rebecca is a really nice girl," Steve said. "I don't have a problem with her."
"Maybe you're just jealous," Robin said.
Steve’s eyes snapped to hers. Did she somehow know? He hadn't really been able to explain to Robin about what's been going on because he couldn't exactly tell her when he didn't know himself. . .especially about Eddie. No, she couldn't, right?
"What?" Steve asked.
"Eddie suddenly became your best friend while I've been busy getting closer to Vickie, and now you no longer have that. Plus, you're lonely, and you totally wish that you could have what we have," Robin said.
"Right, yeah," Steve scoffed.
"What did you think I meant?" Robin asked.
"Nothing, Robin," Steve said.
"Oh my God!" Robin exclaimed with wide eyes, and Steve cursed. "You have a crush on Rebecca!"
"Yeah, Robin. You got it. That's it," Steve scoffed again.
"Then what is it? I mean, judging by the way you're acting and your absolutely annoyance of Rebecca, I'd say you're jealous that she's with Eddie and you're not," Robin said and then snorted. "God, I make myself laugh sometimes. You're like the straightest man alive."
"Oh, yeah, Robin. You got me! I'm totally in love with Eddie! I want to kiss him and hold him. I totally want to marry him and have his babies," Steve rolled his eyes. "I wish I was Rebecca."
With a jolt, Steve realized that what he had said hadn't been sarcastic at all. He wanted all those things with Eddie. He thought about how he was with the kids, how he rants, how passionate he was, and despite how scary he pretended to be, he was the softest man alive, especially when he was with Steve. He missed being held by Eddie. He missed talking intimately with him, and he hated that Rebecca probably got to do all that with him. Except that Rebecca and Eddie hadn't known each other that long, so how intimate were they being? Does she know about his asshole of a father and Eddie's fear of turning into him? Does she share the same fear with him that Steve does about his own father? He wonders if she holds Eddie after a nightmare the way Steve used to do but now no longer gets to. He hates the idea of all of that and he hates being reminded of it when he hears them fuck through the walls. Oh god.
"Except that I - ," Steve swallowed thickly, looking at Robin with wide eyes. "Except that maybe - "
Robin stared at him, her eyes wide and her mouth dropping in shock. Just as Steve was working up the courage to finish that sentence, the bell above the door rang as a customer entered. Steve stumbled as he went to greet the customer, almost blurting out the old Scoops Ahoy greeting as he did so. Steve could feel Robin's eyes on him all day, but she didn't push him to talk about it. He wondered if somehow he had always known about it but chose to ignore it. Steve’s thoughts turned to Vickie and remembered how adamant he had been about her liking girls. Did he somehow know then?
"Steve, are you even paying attention to me?" Dustin asked.
"What? Yeah, yeah, you were going on and about how cool Rebecca is," Steve said, rolling his eyes. "I still can't believe Eddie introduced Rebecca to you guys without talking to me."
Several weeks later, Steve was currently driving Dustin to Gareth's house for their Hellfire meeting. He didn't know why Eddie couldn't drive Dustin, but he supposed it was so he could make out with Rebecca in the back of Eddie's van.
"Why are you acting like you and Eddie are divorced parents?" Dustin asked.
"I'm not! I'm just saying a heads up would be nice!" Steve exclaimed.
"What's your problem with Rebecca, anyway?" Dustin asked.
"Nothing!" Steve yelled, gripping the steering wheel. "It's just - he's been spending all his time with her, and even though we live together - I, uh, I miss him. I miss him, okay?!"
"Well, shit, that makes sense," Dustin said, and then he grinned. "I knew you would like him!"
"I'm obsessed with him, and I definitely would call him my best friend," Steve said.
"Well, you know, he misses you, too," Dustin frowned. "He says you keep turning him down when he asks if you want to hang out with him and Rebecca."
"Have you seen them together?" Steve asked.
"They are pretty gross," Dustin said, scrunching up his nose. "But he said he's in love."
"He said that?" Steve asked, feeling his stomach drop.
"Yeah," Dustin said. "It's pretty obvious."
Steve had dropped Dustin off to find Eddie's van in front of Gareth's house. Eddie was leaning against the van, Rebecca pressed up against him as they laughed and kissed. They broke apart, and Eddie's eyes caught his. Eddie threw up his hand to wave, but Steve quickly backed out without looking at him and drove away. A few weeks later, Eddie announced that he was moving in with Rebecca.
"What?" Steve asked.
They were standing in the kitchen, looking for something to eat for dinner when Eddie dropped the bomb.
"Yeah, I figured it was time for me to move out. I mean, your parents probably are going to come back, despite what you think," Eddie said.
"They are definitely not coming back," he scoffed. "Do you not like living with me?"
"I don't think you like living with me," Eddie said.
"I love living with you!" Steve exclaimed.
"It doesn't seem like it," Eddie scowled. "Ever since I got with Rebecca, you've made it pretty clear that I've made myself too comfortable."
Eddie couldn't be this clueless, could he? Hell, Steve was pretty clueless for the longest time, so maybe he was.
"I miss hanging out with you, Eddie. . .without Rebecca!" Steve snapped, and he couldn't stop what happened next.
Steve cupped Eddie's face and smashed his lips to his, pouring everything he had into the kiss. He pulled away, looking at Eddie, who winced.
"Yeah, Rebecca says it's not cheating to get your guy friends off and hug them, but she still doesn't like it. She says it's gross," Eddie said. "I'm sorry, I should have told you."
Well, Rebecca had been such a nice girl, and for a moment, he had been guilty about being jealous and about kissing Eddie, knowing they were together. Now, he didn't feel guilty at all. Now, he wanted to rip out every single strand of hair from her head.
"Is that what you think we've been doing?" Steve asked in disbelief.
"We're not gay, Steve, so of course, that's what we've been doing," Eddie said.
"Well, we're not gay but we're definitely something," he said. "I mean, don't you feel it?"
"No," Eddie said, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm in love with Rebecca."
Looking at Eddie right now, it felt like Steve had been transported back to that Halloween night in Tina's bathroom with Nancy telling him he was bullshit and that she didn't love him. It was the same punch to the heart that he had felt back then. God, Steve was stupid. He never felt as stupid as he did right now.
"I think - I think I'm going to take a nap," Steve muttered.
"Steve - ," Eddie started to say.
Steve walked out the front door. He didn't say where he was taking a nap, did he? Steve didn't realize that he was crying until he was halfway to Robin's, and his whole body was shaking so hard that he stopped the car for a moment. He managed to contain himself enough to continue driving. When he pulled up and got out, he could hear the sound of Robin's voice, as well as Vickie's coming from the backyard. Shit. He should turn back.
"Oh! I think I heard the sound of Steve’s car pulling up! Get your ass back here, Harrington!" Robin yelled.
It's too late now. Steve followed the sound of her voice and found her relaxing on the back porch with Vickie sitting between her legs.
"Hey," Steve said quietly. "Sorry, I didn't realize - "
"Shit," Robin said, getting up. "What happened?"
"I'm in love with Eddie," Steve said, his voice breaking.
Steve spent the next few days at Robin with Robin and Vickie working around the clock to try to lift his spirits. God, he loved Vickie. Just because she was Robin's girlfriend didn't have any obligation to be there for him. She clearly wanted to. When Steve finally returned home, all of Eddie's stuff was gone, and his key was on the counter. It nearly broke him again. There wasn't even a note.
"What did you do?" Mike asked.
A few weeks later, Nancy was away at Emerson, so Mike was now depending on him for rides to school with Lucas and Dustin. At least, on days when their parents couldn't do it. Today was one of those days.
"Why would you assume that I did anything?" Steve asked.
"Because you're you and Eddie's Eddie," Mike said. "He seemed pretty upset, and he was the one who moved out."
"Well, why would Steve be the one to move out? It's Steve’s parents' house," Lucas said.
"Besides, Steve’s not like that," Dustin scowled. "He wouldn't hurt Eddie."
"At least not intentionally," Lucas said.
"Steve hated people like us in high school," Mike said.
"And what reputable source are you getting that from?" Steve scoffed.
"Just. . .from people," Mike said.
"Yeah, I didn't have the greatest friends. They were assholes but I always tried to stop them from doing stupid shit. No one ever talks about that because people only see what they want to see. They see a guy who has everything. . .and they assume the worst about people like me because it's easier for them to believe that I'm an asshole rather than just someone who's just a person who tries to do what's right but who always been slow to realize what's important so he fails. Just like everyone else. I've always tried to stop Tommy and Carol, but the one time that I didn't. . .no matter how many times I apologize for that. . .it doesn't matter. It'll always be held over my head. . .no matter how many times I sacrifice myself and my health, I am never going to be enough," Steve said.
"You also broke Jonathan's camera," Mike pointed out.
"Oh my God! I apologized for that! I gave him a new one. I reacted out of anger, and I should have let Nancy handle that, considering. . .I don't suppose Jonathan told you why I broke his camera," Steve said.
"No," Mike said.
"Of course, he didn't," Steve said. "Look, I like Jonathan now, I even respect him and call him a friend, but he's not exactly a saint. . .There doesn't have to be a bad guy in situations like this. . .sometimes, shit just happens. Maybe you should get a ride from Jonathan from now on if you hate me so much. . .For the record, I never hated people like you in high school. Never."
"I don't hate you," Mike said softly.
"Then I don't get it," Steve said.
"Me neither," Mike said. "I'm sorry."
"Steve," Dustin said. "You're crying."
"I know."
"I'm really sorry, Steve," Mike said. "You are more than enough. I swear."
Mike had apologized profusely after that, and Steve had forgiven him, but it still left him feeling off. He wondered how many people still hated him for what happened in high school. Is that why Eddie's friends wouldn't come over to the house? Steve wondered how long he was going to be blamed for the actions of other bullying jocks, of not having the ability to know every single person in the school. No, fuck that. He was done apologizing. If people couldn't get past their own views of him, that their problem, not his. Steve was lounging out by the pool when Wayne showed up and sat in the lawn chair next to him.
"Hey, kid," Wayne said.
"Eddie's not - ," Steve said.
"I know, I came to see how you were holding up," Wayne said.
"I'm good," Steve shrugged.
"Well, that's a load of bull," Wayne said. "Something's eating you up, and I already know what it is."
"Eddie," Steve mumbled.
"Yeah. . .I hate that Rebecca," Wayne said.
"What?" Steve asked.
"Well, she's clearly homophobic, not that anyone can see that. Not even Eddie," Wayne sighed.
"That's because - ," he started to say and he quickly cut himself off.
"Yeah, I know. . .I know my boy, I was hoping he'd come to terms with himself and come to me when he was ready," he sighed again, and then he scowled. "She can say whatever she wants to me, but when she makes remarks like that towards Eddie. . ."
"You just want to rip all the hairs out of her head?" Steve asked.
"Yeah," Wayne replied with a snort. "I don't know what happened, but you were better for him than she was. Don't look at me, like that, I've seen the way he looked at you and the way you looked at him. There's something still there."
"Yeah, I don't think so," he said.
Wayne sighed and stood up, pulling Steve up to his feet.
"No matter what happens, you're my boy, too," Wayne said. "I can never think you enough for doing what you did for me and Eddie. You're a good kid. Don't give up on him. He'll come around."
Wayne pulled Steve into his arms and hugged him tightly.
"Thank you," Steve whispered.
Wayne ended up being right. A few weeks later, Eddie ended up in his doorstep in the pouring rain. Steve had stepped aside to let him in, but Eddie had quickly turned around, muttering under his breath. Steve chased after him, the rain soaking him immediately. He grabbed Eddie's arm and turned him around.
"I want to come back," Eddie said.
"What about Rebecca?" Steve yelled over the thunder, and the pouring rain.
"I broke up with her," Eddie said.
"Why?" Steve asked.
"She's not you," Eddie said.
"What are you saying?" Steve asked.
"I'm saying that I'm in love with you!" Eddie said.
Steve smiled, despite the fact that the rain was ruining his hair and that there was a definite chance that they could get sick tomorrow. There was a dreaded weight being lifted off his shoulders now.
"I'm in love with you, too," Steve said, moving towards Eddie. "Wait. What are you doing? Stay still."
"Nope! No way! There's no way I'm going to be a fucking cliche!" Eddie yelled as he ducked away from Steve’s arm.
It took him a minute, but Steve laughed when he realized where Eddie was coming from.
"Come on, Eddie! Give me a kiss!" Steve yelled.
"Nope!"
Eddie dodged Steve’s arms again, bobbing and weaving in Steve’s front yard. Steve ran after him, trying to stop him from getting to the front door.
"Eddie!" He giggled.
"I am NOT kissing you in the rain! That's too much!" Eddie shrieked.
"Oh, come on, you already told me you loved me in the rain. You're halfway there!" Steve said.
Eddie slipped in the mud but managed to get caught in Steve's arms. Steve squeezed him and smiled down at him.
"Ugh. . .don't you fucking say it, Harrington," Eddie said.
"Looks like you fell for me," Steve grinned. "I'm going to kiss you now."
"Don't you dare!"
Eddie didn't stop him when Steve leaned down and kissed him. In fact, he returned the kiss with a furious passion. Steve broke away, laughing.
"You're a fucking cliche, Eddie Munson," Steve said.
"Gah!"
The next day, Steve was right. They both got sick, but they both felt like it had been worth it. Wayne, Robin, and Vickie immediately came over to nurse them back to health. Plus, Steve was pretty sure they wanted to hear the story in person and get Eddie's stuff back from Rebecca. The three of them had laughed so hard when Steve told them how Eddie ran from him in the rain. Robin plopped down on the edge of Steve’s bed, Eddie lying next to him, as Wayne and Vickie went downstairs to make them some soup.
"Yeah, so, Rebecca is definitely homophobic," Eddie revealed.
"I fucking knew there was something about Rebecca that I just didn't like and it wasn't just because the slutty little tart was trying to steal my best friend's man," Robin said.
"You hear that, Stevie? I'm your man," Eddie said, flashing his dimples.
"Yeah, baby, you are," Steve said before sneezing so hard that his head hit Eddie's.
"Ow!"
Wayne and Vickie came back with two trays of soup. They laid them down in front of them, Wayne tucking in both boys and brushing their hair back.
"You boys eat your soup and don't worry about a thing. We're going to get Eddie's stuff," Wayne said.
It didn't seem like they were gone very long, but it could have been because Eddie and Steve had nodded off as soon as they finished the soup. They woke up to the three of them moving Eddie's things into Eddie's bedroom. Robin was carrying a box, bloody tissues hanging from her nose.
"What the hell happened?" Steve asked, rubbing his eyes.
"Well, Rebecca wasn't too happy about us trying to take your things, so she put her hands on Vickie and called her the 'd' word," Robin said. "I had no choice, really. I had to punch her."
"It was so sexy," Vickie said.
"I brought you back a trophy," Robin said and dropped strands of strawberry blonde hair onto the bed. "Don't worry, I left behind most of it."
"Damn," Eddie grinned. "Go, Buckley. Thanks for doing all of this."
"Don't worry about it, kid. You boys just focus on getting better. No more kissing in the rain," Wayne said.
"I told you nothing good comes from kissing in the rain," Eddie said to Steve.
Wayne rolled his eyes and gathered up the soup trays, taking them out of the room.
"I'm glad you guys figured out your shit," Robin said as she put away Eddie's things. "Although, for the longest time, I didn't know there was shit to figure out."
"I'm sorry that we were so clueless," Steve said with a grin.
"Ah, you're forgiven. Easily," Robin smiled.
"Still not gay," Eddie said.
"Eddie!" Steve exclaimed. "We've admitted that we're in love with each other. How are you still in denial?!"
"Sorry, sweetheart," Eddie cackled. "I thought I was being funny. We're a little gay."
"Do you guys not know what I am?" Vickie asked, squinting her eyes at them.
"Uh, a redhead?" Eddie asked, and Robin snorted. "Unless. . .you're not?"
"Babe, did I not tell them? I could have sworn that I did," Vickie said as she helped put Eddie's clothes in Steve's drawers.
"I don't think you did," Robin said.
"Well, I'm bisexual. I like men and women. . .OH, CRACKERS!" Vickie yelled as she accidentally closed her thumb in the drawer.
"Crackers? What's a cracker?" Steve whispered to Eddie.
"Maybe it's someone who's both a man and woman?" Eddie asked in confusion.
"Maybe it's someone who's got no gender at all," Steve said, snapping his fingers.
"But why would they be called crackers?" Eddie asked.
"Because crackers have no gender," Steve said.
"Makes sense," Eddie said.
"Does it?" Robin asked. "What's wrong with you?"
"Crackers also have salt, and tears have salt in them," Steve said.
Robin frowned and pressed her hands to their foreheads.
"Wayne! Their temperatures have spiked!" Robin yelled.
"I found the medicine!" Wayne yelled!
"We'll talk about it again when you guys are feeling better," Vickie giggled.
The next day, once their fever had broken, they had talked about it at great length. . .about what it all meant for them. Steve was curled up on Eddie's chest, running his hands gently over his scars.
"I bet Jeff never got this far," Steve said.
"No, not even close. That was just lip hugging. . .oh my god, I can't believe how dumb I was," Eddie laughed.
He sighed as his boyfriend pressed kisses into his hair. Steve giggled. Boyfriend.
"Lip hugging. . .it's cute," Steve said.
"So, why did Dustin tell me that I need to kill of Mike's character?" Eddie asked.
"Oh, Mike was just being an asshole teenager, and he was just being protective of you," Steve said.
"Dustin said he made you cry," Eddie said.
"Oh, I mean, yeah," he said. "But it's fine, you don't have to kill his character."
"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't at least try?" Eddie asked. "God, I'm so fucking lucky."
It was the first time hearing it come from Eddie's mouth. He climbed up and straddled Eddie's wasn't, kissing him deeply. It felt so much more real now that they were no longer in denial. The walls they had put up were falling down around them as they fell into deep acceptance, wrapping up in each other's warm embrace.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#eddie stranger things#eddie munson lives#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#bisexual steve harrington#bisexual eddie munson#bi4bi#dingus4dingus#bi as hell bi the way#the party#wayne munson#robin buckley#stranger things vickie#stranger things fanfiction#steddie fanfiction#rueleigh writes#rueleigh's thoughts
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Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 10
Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.
Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications
Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here
WARNING: This is a long chapter
First - Prev - Next
Ch.10
“Do you remember how you came to Gravity Falls in the first place?”
“I was just passing by.”
“Yes, but this town is isolated, and you have no means of transportation.”
“Trainhopping, I was hiding on a train for two days I think, maybe three? Decided to jump off here.”
“Do you know why you decided to do that here, and not anywhere else?”
“...”
“Stan?”
“It’s funny, specs - a couple months back, I’d already been with my pal Rick for a while, right? Just one heist, escapade, or criminal venture after another, for seven months straight. And it was great while it lasted, but then he asked me if I wanted to stay with him in another dim- someplace far away. And I wanted to, ya know? There’s always been this itch in the back of my mind that I wanted to go around the world on some grand adventure, and he was offering that to me on a silver platter. But I told him no.”
“And why was that, Stan?”
“...It’s stupid.”
“I wouldn’t call any of your reasoning stupid, I’m not here to judge you.”
“...I always wanted to go on an adventure- but something was missing. It’s like- I dunno if it’s intuition or some spiritual mumbo jumbo, it’s like I’m looking for something. But I don’t know what I’m looking for.”
“Do you have an idea what it could be?”
“A part of… me? I’m missing something. Not just my memories- but something else. I think I might have made a promise, I just… don’t remember what it was, or who I promised to. I guess I’ve been drifting around trying to find it.”
“And you felt it was in Gravity Falls?”
“I don’t… I don’t know. There’s something weird here… I just wanted to check this place out, is all.”
“I see. What did you say your relationship with this Rick was like?”
“You don’t need to be jealous, F. We were just friends. Okay, maybe we were kind of an item for a week at most, but that guy isn’t just self-destructive; he’s like a train that wrecks onto a freeway, he can never just destroy himself, he has to wreck the people around him too and create an absolute shit show. Even I have a limit with that shit.”
“You really need to stop putting yourself down like that, Stan. You only ever seem to say negative things about yourself, it ain’t good for you.”
“There isn’t anything good to say, stretch.”
“Don’t sell yourself one egg short of a basket, now. Y’know, your-. Uh, Stanford was telling me that you’re quite clever. He used a trick to get you down here in the first place, but he also said that he wouldn’t be able to trick you again.”
“I should have seen his fake-out coming… I’ll give it to him, it was a good one. But I’m not going to underestimate him, because crazy like his should never be underestimated. What’s he up to anyways? He went to that room that’s always locked.”
“That’s his private study. I believe he goes there when he wants to be alone.”
“...Didn’t he live by himself? Why did he already have that?”
“Can’t say, maybe it’s a quiet and calm space for him.”
(...)
“HE HAS RISEN BABY GIRL.”
“Bill, please stop calling me that. It’s unprofessional.”
“Come on Sixer, at least let the Goo Goo Dolls soundtrack play.”
“The what?”
“Ooop! My bad, it’s not 1998 or 2024 yet. How can I help you today, Fordsy? You haven’t called me in a few weeks.”
“There’s a mindscape I need to access.”
“Oh boy, it’s not usually you who wants to poke around other humans' brains, always prattling on about ethics and consent. What’s the occasion?”
“...You know everything I know when we’re in the mindscape, you already know the answer.”
“Yes, but I still want you to say it out loud. Clearly and concisely, so your dialogue can be read on screen.”
“... I need to get into the mind of my brother, Stanley. He has amnesia, and our leading theory is that it’s due to psychological trauma. But he has been through so much trauma we’re having trouble isolating the definitive event that would have started this.”
“And why wouldn’t he just share that with his beloved twin brother?”
“He does not remember me.”
“Oooh, then he is just like you! Isn't it just precious when twins are twinning?”
“I never forgot about him.”
“Oh Sixer… You might as well have.”
“Just take me to his mind, Cipher… Please.”
“Anything for you, baby boy!”
SNAP
(...)
“So your memories are only clear to a certain point?”
“Yeah. Rick found me wandering around the woods in a ‘catatonic state’, and snapped me out of it. Everything before that… I can remember being on the street, I can remember all the stuff I did, maybe out to a decade? But there’s a lot of holes, lotsa different names I used. And before the streets? Nothing.”
“And when did Rick find you in the woods?”
“What month is it?”
“June.”
“Last May - so about 13 months?”
(...)
“Okay Fordsy he hasn’t made a deal with me so we can’t go too deep, or his mental defenses are just gonna shove us out.”
“Bill, I already know that, why are you explaining it to me?”
“You know; doesn’t mean they know. Unless this is a re-read. In which case; welcome back. Glad you loved or hated it the first time.”
“You are… Beyond comprehension, Bill Cipher.”
“That’s what you love about me though.”
“You have my begrudging, professional respect.”
“From your aspec ass, that’s practically love.”
“Aspe-”
“Oooh! Lookie here, a memory door opened up. He must be opening up to someone right now. Let's barge in haphazardly.”
(...)
“Okay Stan, this might be difficult. But if you ever feel distressed, let me know and we can try grounding techniques okay?’
“You got it, F.”
“Now close your eyes, think back to when you and Rick parted ways.”
(...)
“Sanchez?! How does Stan know-.”
“You know this hilarious crossover character? I already know the answer, but for no particular reason I need you to tell me out loud how you know him.”
“His wife Diane was part one of my PhD programs. She was always so bright and pleasant, but her husband was a nightmare when she brought him around. He was always saying that school wasn’t for smart people, and rubbed his inventions and intelligence in our face.”
“And how is she these days?”
“She passed away from a garage fire a few years ago, her and her little girl. I almost sent him a condolences, but he was such an unpleasant asshole I could not make myself do so.”
“Come on Stan- think about it! You, me, Bird Person, Squanchy- sci-fi adventures, drugs, bitches. Whattaya say? Let’s ditch this dimension, there isn’t anything for us here anymore.”
“Dimension-?”
“Shh, Fordsy, just let it play out.”
“I… I can’t Rick.”
“Why not?”
“There’s… something here.”
“Did you remember something?”
“I don’t remember who, but I think I’m looking for someone.”
“Stanny-Boy, we’ve been through this before. No one knows you, everywhere we’ve been, ‘cept for the fake names. You should just cut your losses.”
“Wherever we go, we go together.”
“What was that-?”
“Just the distorted voice of his subconscious. It’s probably not important.”
“I’m sorry. But there’s a piece of me missing, and I think it’s still here in this dimension somewhere.”
“You know your credits don’t have monetary value here.”
“I know.”
“And I can’t leave you a space cruiser. You’ll have to walk or steal a car.”
“Either is fine. I’ve done it before.”
“Stan… Are you sure?”
“Here. Take all my credits, you’ll get more out of it than me.”
“You want your dusters back?”
“Trade me.”
“Wait, you don’t want your transdimensional watch anymore?”
“If the pigs catch me, I don’t need them asking too many questions.”
“You know that doesn’t just give you dimensional coordinates and time zones, right? There’s a pulse wave in it that can shatter force fields.”
“Pft, what are the chances I’d ever need that?”
“Ooof, he really fumbled the bag there.”
“My muse, please.”
*Rick takes the watch and gives Stan a pair of brass knuckles*
“Thanks Rick… Hey, it was nice while it lasted.”
“Hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“I hope you find that bastard, Prime. Give him the hell he deserves.”
“...Stan?”
“Yeah?”
“Fuck you.”
“I’ll miss you too, pal.”
(...)
“Alright, how are you feeling Stan?”
“So far so good.”
“Okay, now let’s go further back. You said your first clear memory is when you met him, let’s go back to that.”
“I was in the back of his shi- iiitty car, I felt like I’d just smoked an entire carton of cigarettes, but in a bad way..”
(...)
“It just- stopped?”
“He’s remembering something else. Just look for another door.”
“Here we go.”
“Wha- where…?”
“Oh hey you’re awake.”
“-’re, you?”
“You’re one tough son of a bitch, y’know? Most of the people I tase end up dead, but you just passed out.”
“You… tased me? Are you a cop?”
“Hell no. I tased you because you attacked me in the woods. Damn near ripped my head off.”
“The woods..?”
“You were wandering around in a catatonic state, can’t tell you how long.”
“A what state?”
“This isn’t going anywhere. Can you tell me your name?”
“It’s…? I... Malone. Wait. It’s- Stan.”
“Stan Malone huh? My name’s Rick Sanchez.”
(...)
“Stan keep your eyes closed. I want you to try to remember what happened before this.”
“Alright…”
“What’s something you can remember? Something you saw, felt, heard?”
“My chest felt really tight…”
(...)
“What is this?”
“Ahh. A pit memory. This is something his brain wants to forget, but can’t permanently delete.”
“So it is a repressed memory?”
“Yes. He’s trying to think about it… but unconsciously, he really doesn’t want to.”
“What happens if we jump in?”
“Sixer, where's your sense of adventure? If it gets too dangerous I’ll just pull us out.”
“Do you swear?”
“Just gimme the word.”
“Which word?”
“Let’s go with ‘defenestrate’ this time.”
‘W̷̷H̷̷Y̷ ̷I̷̷S̷̷N̷'̷T̷ ̷I̷̷T̷ ̷W̷̷O̷̷R̷̷K̷̷I̷̷N̷̷G̷?! ̷W̷̷H̷̷Y̷-?’
S̷̷C̷̷R̷̷E̷̷E̷̷C̷̷H̷
‘̷C̷̷a̷̷n̷’̷t̷-’
‘̷t̷̷r̷̷a̷̷p̷̷p̷̷e̷̷d̷’
‘̷c̷̷a̷̷n̷’̷t̷ ̷b̷̷r̷̷e̷̷a̷̷t̷̷h̷̷e̷-’
*brief flash of a pile of burnt paper ash in Stan’s hands, which are shaking*
“We can’t stay here Fordsy, he’s closing up again.”
“Just one more second-!”
“Might as well, it’s [--- ---- ------ - ---].”
“[--- ---] going to die here. Stan[--- -------- -----], if you don’t [---- - ---- ---- --] in the next minute you will die.”
“That voice-?”
“We’re leaving now, Sixer! DEFENESTRATE!”
SNAP
(...)
“Stan? Stan calm down-! It’s okay! Remember where you are.”
“C-Can’t breathe-”
“Yes you can, just breathe with me. In- out. In- out. Just like that. There we go.”
“I’m sorry Fiddleford, I can’t do it. I can’t. I can’t. ”
To be continued…
#for your own good#early amnesia au#mystery trio#fords evil basement sub-lab#ford isnt a mad scientist hes a sad scientist#gravity falls#cross posted on ao3#fanfic#fanfiction#stanley pines#stan pines#stanford pines#ford pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#bill cipher#rick sanchez#diane sanchez#past stanchez#fiddlestan#anyone notice that Stan called Fiddleford by his actual name
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Rebound search- cut scene
In the latest part of the pining Mario series, there was a scene I began to write where Mario and Mr Puzzles would go to the movie and accidentally hold hands and all that junk. However, I decided to cut it out because it wasted too much time and was mostly a whole load of nothing.
Anyway, here is that cut scene:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mario thought to himself for a moment before his face lit up with an idea. He turned to Puzzles.
"Hey! We don't-a need to base today on some silly romance movies. The people in them are clearly stupid and boring if those are the type of locations they meet their true love." He gestured to the notepad for emphasis, "We should pick somewhere entirely new! Somewhere that no silly romance character has ever met their love interest."
Mr Puzzles looked at Mario with curiosity; a confused smile appearing on his screen.
"Okay then... did you have anywhere in mind?" He asked.
Mario froze. His mind went blank and his face buffering as he tried to think of at least ONE place they could go to meet someone.
Meeting someone. That was the goal of this whole thing wasn't it? Mario knew this and he wasn't intending on skewing from Mr Puzzles' plan; but so far, his feelings for the TV hadn't changed in the slightest. If anything, they had only grown stronger! Going shopping, having lunch, spending time alone- just the two of them, talking, laughing... Mario was having an amazing time with Mr Puzzles.
The Italian turned to take in the sight of the TV standing in front of him, looking down at him expectantly.
"Well? Where do you suggest we go?" He asked again.
Mario snapped out of his thoughts and stammered.
"Uhh... w-we should go..."
The, already small, logical side of his mind desperately tried to think of a place where he could actually meet someone new. Somewhere that would allow him to finally move on from the TV and see him as nothing more than a friend. That would be the healthy thing for him to do.
Unfortunately, Mario was anything BUT healthy.
He was just too tempted by the prospect of him and Puzzles spending more time together! Selfish as it may be, he didn't want to move on. At least, not right now. Mario just wanted to enjoy what little time he had alone with Mr Puzzles. Even if it was just platonic.
"W-we should go to the movie theatre!!" Mario declared with false confidence.
Mr Puzzles gave him an odd look, tilting his head slightly as he stared at the Italian, dumbfounded.
"Why would we go there? The whole point of a movie theatre is to sit in silence and not talk to anyone. That doesn't seem like a great place to meet someone."
Mario looked around nervously as he tried to come up with some sort of half-assed explanation as to why the movie theatre was actually a great place for meeting new people!
"Well, err- Mario thinks the movies will be a good place to go because... Mario really likes TV! We already know this and the movie theatre is really just one big TV screen that everyone watches! Plus, there's food which Mario also likes so that means that whoever is at the movie theatre has lots-a in common with Mario!"
Mario gave Puzzles a nervous smile, hoping that he wouldn't detect the uncertainty in his tone or notice the sweat beading at his forehead.
Puzzles' eyes narrowed as he looked down at the shorter man, seemingly trying to read his expression. A deafening silence fell over them before eventually, Mr Puzzles spoke up.
"Alright then..." he said cautiously.
Mario's face lit up and without thinking, he grabbed Mr Puzzles' hand and began to lead him to the movies.
Only once they had arrived did Mario properly register the fact that he and Puzzles had their fingers intertwined. He hurriedly let go, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he looked away, a light blush on his cheeks.
Once he had calmed down Mario cleared his throat, "Uh... so what movie would you like to see?" He asked, smiling nervously at the taller man.
Puzzles glanced down at him and let out a huff.
"Mario, we're not here for the leisure of seeing a movie. Look around! See who's here on their own and what they're going to watch. Then simply buy us tickets to the same movie." Puzzles explained.
He looked around, trying to wean out anyone who was there alone. His attention darted to the digital ticket booth where a man had just began selecting a movie. Puzzles grinned, grabbing Mario by his shoulders and spinning him in the direction of the man.
"There! See? There's someone. Go over to him, talk to him, then get us tickets to the same movie. I'll get us some snacks."
Mario was unsure as he looked between Puzzles and the stranger he was supposed to approach. Was this really the best way to go about this?
"Mario doesn't think that-"
"Just trust me Mario. This is going to be your best chance at meeting someone at the movies." He crouched down to Mario's level, looking him in the eyes with that screen; and Mario thought it was just oh so pretty.
"You want to move on from your feelings don't you?"
The question was meant to be rhetorical. Mario knew this. But as he stared deeply into Mr Puzzles' hypnotic screen, he found himself getting lost in the bright colours and captivating shapes. The question repeated in his mind as he mindlessly gazed into Puzzles' digital eyes.
Does he want to move on?
Mario wasn't sure anymore. These feelings were so confusing. One minute he hated them, the next, he was eternally grateful to have them. One minute he wanted to do nothing but wallow in a ball of self pity, then he'd be enthusiastically following Puzzles to the ends of the earth. The love he held for the TV had been putting him through hell these past few months but now, being alone with the man, Mario had just forgotten about all of the pain and anguish he felt over him. And all he could think about was how good it felt to be in his presence.
"Well I'm afraid this is going to be your best chance of moving on."
Puzzles voice snapped Mario out of his daydream and brought him back to reality. He blinked, slightly dazed before sighing.
"Okay..." he said.
Mr Puzzles smiled and stood up, making his way to the snacks whilst Mario watched him leave. He eyes remained fixed if the TV man for just a moment before he turned around to go and buy their tickets.
As Mario approached the digital ticket booth, he saw that the man Mr Puzzles had spotted earlier was finishing off his purchase. Mario hopped over his shoulder to get a peek at which movie he was here to see.
Lady and the Tramp
Mario mentally scoffed. Of course. Rerun day. Every so often, the cinema reran old movies decades after they first aired. It was stupid in Mario's opinion but what did he know?
Mario pushed aside his opinions and instead mentally prepared himself to talk to the man in front of him. This is what Puzzles asked him to do after all.
The Italian took a deep breath and was about to make conversation with the stranger before he was suddenly met with an overpowering stench. Mario shut his mouth instantly and scrunched his face in displeasure.
This guy STANK!
My god did he even know what a shower was??? Mario probably wasn't one to judge but that didn't stop him. There was no way he was going to talk to this stinky loser.
Eventually, the guy left and Mario bought two tickets for Lady and the Tramp. Even if he wasn't planning on talking to that guy, the movie could be pretty good! He just needed to make sure he got seats that were far away from him.
#smg4#smg4 fanfiction#smg4 marware#Marware#mr puzzles x mario#pining mario series#marware fanfiction
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I just had a riveting discussion with a self proclaimed anarcho-capitalist at work, whose opinions included:
Tipping is bad because 'contracts with your employer are voluntary and they can leave if they're not paid enough.' He will still tip if he thinks his wife is watching
If you're stuck inside a torture chamber with an apple you can bite every ten seconds that sends you to paradise for a year, it is illogical to bite the apple and humanity is broken for thinking so
The ending to the good place was bad because the characters weren't being logical and there was so much shit you can do with the afterlife.
The marxist labor theory of value 'isn't true' because paintings have arbitrary value
Heidegger was an idiot
Kant was an idiot
Nietzche was an idiot
He is an anarcho-capitalist
If I don't have 100% certainty for something than I can't truly say that I know something is true, and isn't it illogical that people do that?
I have to see this man every Monday from now until I quit. We work one on one.
#he was also horrified that i give credit to phenomenology despite not seeming to know what that is?#and now that i think about his stupid thing with the car i could just as easily use the sun as an example#and that would be even dumber#my god this man is a fool#and every single thing he said he followed up with 'and i know thats an unpopular opinion' like wtf you weird little edgelord#go read jordan peterson and leave me alone#he ended the conversation with 'i guess i didnt change your opinion' despite me not sharing any coherent opinions whatsoever#mans is getting off on 'rational debate' and im laughing in his face when he tells me 'marx's labor theory of value isnt true'#marx#heidegger#neitzche#anarcho-capitalist#communism#anarchism#capitalism#kant#the good place#thought experiments#i guess#phenomenology#simulation theory#maybe?#tipping#ethics#my fat tranny nuts
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Paul George on Stephen A. Smith’s Kawhi Leonard jab: “I didn’t like that moment… Kawhi wants to play… We exhausted a lot out of Kawhi this season. So at some point your body breaks you down… I didn’t appreciate that moment. I know I laughed because the situation was lighthearted, but deep down it was like you gotta let that go, Stephen A.”
Paul George, knight in shining armor
#HE DOES . u know. defend his girlbosses#as a good malewife husband soes#but like... he'll defend them.. five days after the fact#like hes just zoned out during the actual time of necessary defense#thinking about what new gaming chair to buy for himself whilst squinting harshly#i think tauruses and caps get shoehorned into being hashtag Daddies hashtag when it comes to personalities#like yes theyre grounded but that also means they like to duck into their little safety hovels sometimes#if a taurus is in an uncomfortable place/position.. they will often just smile& think abt how much they miss their regular place of comfort#until the moment passes#'oh but theyre so stubborn and loyal! theyll stand up for anyone! all the time!' stubbornness can ironically flucuate#theyre still showing stubbornness! just to the fact that they wanna go home. and they need this moment to pass#and if they bring something up rn.. it will not pass rn#this kind of thinking does not always bode well with fire signs#as much as i love to bully paul .. seeing others do it just isnt the same.. it does not come from a place of love in the end !!#'hes always been a coward-- too afraid to step up and be the bad guy. do the dirty work' no girl hes just a bit stupid#hes literally excitedly told reporters that hes soooo hyped up to try and be the rebound passer guy today#and then one game later hes like 'yea i kinda did too much.. that was.. not good 😔'#like he is doing the best in his mind! his doing bad is not out of bad intent! it's good intent and he is just failing miserably at it#LEAVE MY CRINGEFAIL MALEWIFE ALONE ‼️‼️‼️#MY CANCELLED GIRLFAILURE !!#he just wants to be a trophy husband to a terrifying strange and unusual mystery of a man like isnt that why we wrote dracula#is this not why creepypasta self insert y/n imagines exist on wattpad ?#paul george is just a y/n living in a spiteful world#LMFAOOO#hes so stupid i want to kill him but no one else can kill him but me ok#pg13 years old
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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#sometimes it hits me that we have to go to work for the rest of our lives#we go to work we eat and sleep we get a few days off and that’s it#i’m not made for this world#i don’t care about my career and i’m not good at anything#i’m not passionate about anything i don’t really have any hobbies#it feels like i will never find my place in this world and it scares me#and i know your 20s are weird and stupid and i know i’m still young#but how am i supposed to enjoy life if nothing gives me joy#i don’t wanna make it through the day i wanna enjoy it#i don’t wanna count down the days or hours until something good happens#i don’t wanna waste my time being miserable all day every day#are the little things really enough? is it worth it to have 2 good days and 50 bad ones?#for the past 2 years i’ve been feeling so stuck and lost and miserable i don’t know what to do anymore#and even if i get this new job i have no idea if i’m gonna like it#i’m always so anxious and worried about everything#and i’m really fucking scared#scared that i will never find a job that i like scared that i’m gonna die alone scared that i will do something i regret#scared that i will never be happy#why is life so tucking hard i didn’t sign up for this
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sighs. yk i dont think it was anything they were ever planning on but i do think they would at least have had a conversation like "do you ever think about getting married" and i wonder how that would go for them
#in my mind hed bring it up and word it in a vague sort of way and theyd be like. what like to you? and hed go no... just like... in general#<- big fat liar#because i dont think it was ever something he really thought he wanted from his life like at all for a lot of reasons#but mainly i just dont think he ever saw it happening because he doesnt really. care about people like that.#like i think by the time they met hes been alone for so long and he more or less likes it that way so he just kind of figured this was it#and while i think they wouldnt have been against the idea entirely its not smth they were thinking about until he brought it up#mostly because theyre just here to have a good time and piss off their parents. but once he brings it up theyre just like oh. yeah.#i do really like him and ive put so many things in my life on hold to be with him. why shouldnt i want to marry him#and clearly he wants to marry me or he wouldnt have brought it up so we're basically going to get married and its going to happen#and this is my forever guy YAAYYY. and well we saw how that went for them right#i do think they build it up in their head way more as an inevitability that theyre gonna be with him forever right. theyre young and stupid#and they like him so much its not even funny and they really do just. abandon the rest of their life. they have no plans#with hog its like. he loves them probably more than hes ever really loved anybody but in his mind this is a thing that can only ever end bad#theyre young and stupid and will get over him or worse hes gonna be the kind of man he is and fuck it up in some way. he sees hurting them#as inevitable because he just sees himself as someone who can only ever hurt people#so when he leaves it feels like the best choice. it was only a matter of time anyways right might as well rip the bandaid off and let them#go home and move on. but for them its like. the world is ending and *their* whole world just walked out on them. after years of everyone#in their life telling them they couldnt and shouldnt do this. and theyre mad as fuck about it and what are they gonna do?#go home and admit they fucked up? that they screwed over their whole future for a boy that didnt even like them?#after everything theyve done for this place? no absolutely not theyre gonna go get him and drag his ass to the altar wthr he likes it or not#🐟
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i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list
#its difficult. i used to be rly good abt not doing kms type jokes bc i did when i was younger and then i stopped bc of um . stuff#nd i think it rly was good for me nd then ykw started making them a LOT and now i do them constantly and ik itis bad for me like. as a guy#whos been suicidal since i was 7. yk. ik itisnt good for me but its hard#idk. i need 2 try 2 stop making them again. like idt ppl who make them r evil I personally dont tend to use them very seriously#it rly is judt a like. Ugh something annoying happened i should kms. but like. witht he we should kill connor joke its Less and less a joke#and more just feeding into ummmmm. the bad parts of my thing that i have to be vague abt so ppl dont worry.#Im not planning anything its not that. its just a belief i have that is ummm concerning to many but very comforting to me and keeps me sane#but i dont like 2 talk abt it . bc ppl tend to get worried its rly not anything that bad its judt likeee. I know that thing is true and#there isnt anything i can do to stop it from happening so i made peace with it ages ago and its comforting that i dont have 2 like. worry#abt whatll happen bc ik whatll happen#sry im being vague ive like. i think ive mentioned it a couple times and ppl get very concerned (my old psych literally told me verbatim#That sounds so terrifying.) and likeee. there have been times its scared me a lot like i can remember a few times i woke up having a panic#attack bc i didnt want to do it but i know thats whatll happen and its fine. but it wont be any time soon#it keeps me from doing anything honestly bc like. why rush FJFNFJNFNik itll happen eventually no matter what i do so even when it gets bad#enough i think abt it im like. yk. it helps. i kind of lost a bit of vagueness. please dont worry abt it fr like. it keeps me sane it keeps#me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just#bc like. i have a lot of other stuff abt me i need 2 fix first but i think it would probably be good for me if i stopped. sigh. which suck#bc like its been said time and time again that like. Im going to kms is just like. it encapsulates feelings very well there r like no other#exclamations that fit. aside from the like. Krill my shellfish type things but thats the reason i slipped back into just saying kms in rhe#first place so. UGH. and theres so many fucking stupid tjmblr ones. like no im not going to sub Kys for Go step on a lego >_< bc like... im#not 1. 5 or 2. 27. the 2 ages i think ppl would say shit like that.#sry my vendetta against 27 year olds is neverending idk i just dont like whatever happens to tumblr users of dhat age. ive mentioned it#several times inwont go into it and im probably near out of tags anyway#ive got 7 more spend em wisely one supposes. idk. its just difficult. ik its judt words and shit and im sure i cn come up with good#alternatives. theres judt like not any rhat r like the same vibe without also reinforcing My stuff in an unhealthy way. idk. idkk#like not that making kms jokes is gonna make me do it anytime soon but like yk . ik i cant blame my self loathing spike on this alone#bc ive like. Beeeeeeeen going through some stuff thats contributing way more#but i do think before i started making these jokes again my self loathing and like. rhe amt of time i thought abt it was less . idk#sui ment#<- jic i tried not to be like. too much. but you know
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