#what even is spn canon please?

[robbiethompsonlongcon]

so wait. i have questions.

if heaven connects the multiverse, what happens when multiple versions of the same person in multiple AU worlds die? do they all fuse into one entity in heaven? like, is the dean we saw in spnwin an amalgamation of every version of dean that has died and gone to heaven in every universe? what does that mean for a human soul, is each iteration of a human only a fragment of a soul? a clone? or are they individuals? do they all have separate heavens next to one another but fully inaccessible? or can you go next door and hang out with your alternate universe selves? that would be pretty disconcerting..

WAIT NO. no, that cant be right. as cool as i think it is, its not right. obviously there are multiple iterations of heaven, considering that there are multiple iterations of the angels. and it's clearly a Thing that alternate universe heavens aren't supposed to be connected, bc the AU iterations of the angels couldn't just walk through some already-established rift in heaven, otherwise the entire apocalypse world plotline would be completely moot. like, apocalypse michael could have just walked into prime universe through the rift. so how are these situated? is heaven like, partitioned out like this?

(please excuse the utterly shit quality, im drawing with my finger on a cracked phone and im bad at it)

so we have the garden which connects all the heavens, and then heaven prime partitioned off from heaven alpha, beta etc, each one then linked to their respective actual living universe? or is it more like garden -> heaven -> earth, but like sheets of paper all stacked up on top of one another in "the world between worlds" voidspace? how does that work metaphysically.

since theres au heavens and au hells, are there au versions of purgatory, or do all worlds dump all their monsters into the same purgatory? what about the empty? is every version of Cas that died in every alternate universe just piled up in the one singular empty?

(if i was a fic writer, this is where i would write about an empty rescue where dean has to wade through a sea of AU cas. i would also write a self indulgent fic where the benny we are told died in prime universe was not actually benny prime. but i am not a fic writer.)

if there are multiple empties, are there multiple shadows? or just the one, existing in every dimension in the same way that chuck is implied to? did god decide to be chuck in every universe, or are there universes where chuck was "just" a prophet? that would make endverse being a real alternate universe clash a little less w the final seasons.

except there's still the problem of, how could zachariah the middle management sub-choir angel (principality?? seraph?? power?? what choir is zachariah. this is so off topic.) open a portal to an alternate universe but not either of the two most powerful archangels? ive seen great theories about angels being specialists in different areas, e.g uriel smiting towns and cas taking memories (im so fucking sorry i dont remember who posted that, its so good im so sorry) but even so, why didn't apocalypse zachy just open the prime universe for apocalypse michael once he set his sights on it? so im still thinking endverse was a pocket/illusion dimension.

and when prime universe tfw released the darkness, did amara get born in every universe or just the prime one? was she still locked in the mark in other universes? if she's the same.. uhh.. species as god, and his equal, shouldnt she be just as omnipresent in the multiverse? or does that mean each universe has its own iteration of god? or would that mean he created himself? ow. paradox migraine. if prime chuck created every other chuck, then every other iteration is just a facsimile and not truly chuck. and if that's true, did they even really beat chuck by beating him in only one iteration? or can AU chuck just open a portal and idk re-grant himself godpowers? what about AU jacks, are they still nephilim? or did every version of jack become god when prime jack did?

on that note, when chuck started to destroy the multiverse, what happened to amara in those iterations and also in general? was she captive in every universe as long as she was captive in the prime universe? is she even really gods sister, or did he create her for Plot Reasons? bc in other universes, dean still had the mark. or cas had the mark. or cain kept the mark. but amara got free in, and was, as far as i remember, only a threat to, the prime universe.

and how did dean get the letter for john from henry? even if henry gave it to dean in As Time Goes By, i doubt dean carried that particular letter on his person when he died. it could be a heaven thing? anything you want, you just wish for it and you have it kind of thing. but also how did dean get bobby? obviously he went back to the roadhouse at some point? unless the point is that heaven is still an illusion since Somethings Up With Jack, and dean did the same thing with the letter, and just *wished* for bobby who popped up in the car. cause that certainly doesn't seem like a good and equal heaven, if you can just wish someone was with you and poof! they will be summoned to your side without their consent. which would mean that's Not Bobby, it's an illusion. it was never actually bobby.

so did dean even actually make it to another universe? or is he trapped in an illusion and the whole thing was a distraction, which is why jack said no meddling and then proceeded to let dean meddle in the most timeline-destabilizing ways possible, giving his parents the colt and his journal, telling them god exists and is a dick? because it doesn't matter, it never mattered because none of it was real?

im gonna rip out my hair what is this. jensen. JENSEN. what is this. i need to think.

[rosewheresheshouldntbe]

> Rose: Confess to Kanaya!

Rose: I love you.

Kanaya: Y Yo Ati, Rose.

> Rose: Get swallowed by something that looks like Venom.

> Rose: Get sent to super hell!

> Kanaya: Have something very gay and homophobic happen to you.

Kanaya: ...

What an absolute diversity loss. You find yourself thinking "love loses!"

[cowboyhorsegirl]

5X09???????????

[dotthings]

An outline summary of how Jensen has let out bits of Dean pov about the confession a little bit at a time.

He has chosen his words carefully for a reason. He threads the needle carefully for a reason. Let it unfold, it's not done yet.

In 2021 (dencon), Jensen spoke to Dean's confusion. He said he never played Dean knowing Cas was in love with him, which is true. That's canon. Dean didn't know even if Jensen did for months ahead of time. Jensen had to play it that way, because that's the story, that Dean didn't know how loved he is by Cas. By how he was loved. Jensen in 2021 spoke Dean's pov that because Cas is an angel, it's hard for Dean to grasp the nature of that love, that it's too much (Dean thinks) for a human to grasp, angels are cosmic beings, it's ineffable love (put this with Ben Edlund's recent tweets about "transcendental love") and it's hard to define, Dean doesn't know how to define it. In the "open to interpretation" era. (Which is now defunct, from Cas's pov. In late 2020/early 2021, Cas's confession was still being held in a cushioning of open to interpretation, there are, again, reasons for that).

In 2022 (Vancon), Jensen spoke more deeply about Dean's feelings and realizations Dean (and Jensen) had while sitting on the floor sobbing after Cas was taken. Jensen spoke of Dean's regrets and Dean wanted to say I love you too and hug Cas and about two sentient beings connecting, brothers-in-arms, Dean losing someone he loves very much. In the moment Cas was taken. And now it's even more clear, what Jensen's words at that time hinted at, that while Dean's on the floor sobbing he also had a realization about how Cas loves him and how deeply.

In 2023 (Jib 11), Jensen said the Dean and Cas reunion would be a big embrace and they'd talk about that goodbye, and maybe we'd get to see that. (more on that below).

In 2024 (Purcon 8), Jensen just said Cas's confession being romantic isn't subtext, it's text and that because Dean already had his realization that Cas is in love with him and Dean got past the confusion and "but Cas is an angel and I am a human so I can't possibly grasp that love). Dean knows. And how Dean and Cas don't need to talk about Cas's side of it. That there's an understanding between them and "they found each other." Dean knows, Dean is accepting.

So, in that moment Dean was sobbing on the floor in the bunker, Dean got hit by a freight train of realizations. Jensen is still threading the needle carefully, saying nothing too definitive or in full about Dean's feelings, beyond he reiterates Dean cares deeply for Cas. He says nothing about the reciprocation follow up. Just that there is no need for Cas to explain anything to Dean. Therefore, the confession won't be addressed. The confession itself. Because it's clear. It's known.

This timeline isn't "Jensen's evolving pov" please note. This is Jensen who has known all this about Dean, about Cas, for quite a while now, he's been opening things up in terms of how he talks about it a little at a time for public ear. Please remember all the things in play here and Jensen is the spn boss and the fraught history for the ship and how the TV industry functions.

Let it play out. It's not done yet, either in story, or in how it's going to be spoken about. Let it play out.

[fivie]

I keep thinking about how well grantaire and anna would get along (before she gets re-brainwashed)... i know you've moved away from spn canon with UMW but do you have thoughts on how your characters would theoretically interact with spn characters?

ah yes, the re-brainwashing was very unfortunate 😔

my main headcanon re. UMW characters meeting SPN characters is that if Enjolras and Grantaire met Sam and Dean, based on Enjolras's personality and him having the sword, they would absolutely assume he was the angel of the pair 😂 Dean would probably commiserate with Grantaire about the challenges of hanging out with a socially challenged angel, and Grantaire would absolutely go along with it. Then Cas would show up and be like 'hello brother 😐' and spoil his fun.

I think Enjolras and Dean would butt heads, but Sam and Combeferre would probably get along quite well. I hope the spirit of Victor Hugo can't see me typing this.

Ages ago I actually started writing a little crossover story just for fun but I found it really weird 😂 I don't know if I'll ever write any more of it so I'll put what I have under a cut here if anyone wants to read it lol

(it is definitely not UMW canon 😂)

Grantaire is in a long-abandoned barn in rural Belgium, idly sweeping up the ashy remains of the shapeshifter that had been terrorising the nearby village in the guise of a local cryptid legend, when Combeferre pops into his mind with a bemusing prayer:

Don't come back to my apartment right now.

Grantaire pauses, awaiting further details. If Combeferre were in danger, he's sure he wouldn't bother beating around the bush, so Grantaire isn't overly worried, but Combeferre has never told him to stay away before and so he waits, curious. A minute or so later, an even more bemusing continuation:

Or if you do, make sure you come in through the front door like a human would.

Sometimes Grantaire desperately wishes that the prayer communication line went both ways. Combeferre feels distracted, like there are many other things demanding his attention and he is snatching at quiet moments to send Grantaire fragmented intel. Finally:

Other hunters here.

With that, the pieces slot together. Grantaire personally thinks it would be kind of funny for him to drop in on a room full of Musain hunters, especially the ones who'd written him off as a drunken waste of space years ago, and he could always erase their memories after if it was going to cause problems, but he supposes that Combeferre's solution of just keeping him away for a while is simpler. He finishes his clean up and is just about to return to Jehan's house when Combeferre reaches out again.

Could use your expertise for this. Come back if you're able? But please be discreet.

Grantaire snorts. He thinks he'll enjoy having a conversation with Combeferre later about why it's okay to pretend that he's human to other hunters, but not to Enjolras or Combeferre himself. He's well aware of the difference and the reasoning, of course, but he does like watching Combeferre wrestle with a moral quandary.

Enjolras is here, too.

This last part sounds like a warning, and Grantaire supposes it is, and one he should be thankful for. He braces himself before flying back to Combeferre's building, going up the stairs with pointed emphasis and hoping everyone in the apartment can hear his very normal, very human footsteps approaching. He opens the apartment door, calling out a greeting, and he steps inside and the world stops.

The other angel in Combeferre's living room stares at him, his human face registering only mild surprise even as his luminous true form roils and sparks in shock and alarm and, of course, horrifyingly, recognition. Grantaire stares back for a wild, world-tilting moment, and then he flies in a mad flurry, grabbing Enjolras and Combeferre and taking them to the furthest side of the room, pushing them behind him. Combeferre, who had just expressly told Grantaire to be on his best and most human behaviour, calls his name in confused dismay, and Enjolras is saying something too, demanding to know what he's doing, and there are two other humans here too, making their own noise, but then—

"Hello, brother," Castiel says, and all the humans in the room fall deathly silent.

Grantaire doesn't answer. His hand instinctively twitches to curl around the handle of a blade not currently in his possession. He can feel the presence of his sword burning in Enjolras's coat pocket and he wonders if the split second it would take for him to get to it will mean fiery death for all of them.

Three thousand years, he thinks. Three thousand years he successfully kept his head down, and then Combeferre goes and invites another angel into his living room—!

"Aw no, brother?" one of the new humans repeats. Grantaire doesn't dare take his eyes off Castiel, but the human sounds exasperated. He also sounds American, which raises many questions but also answers the one of why they are all here and not at the Musain. Grantaire can only imagine the Musain hunters' reaction to Americans descending upon their home base. "Cas, are you serious?"

"He's pretty clearly serious." The other human puts himself in Grantaire's line of vision, stepping between him and Castiel with one hand raised placatingly. He's uncommonly tall and more than broad enough in the shoulders to be considered physically imposing by human standards, but his posture and expression are currently extremely non-confrontational—he looks nervous, and sort of concerned. He looks at Grantaire first but then, clearly finding no invitation in his stony face, tilts his head to look past him at Enjolras and Combeferre instead. "So, uh. Got yourselves an angel."

"As do you, it would seem," Combeferre says with measured calm. It's strange to hear him speak English. Out of the corner of his eye, Grantaire sees him take half a step forward and hisses back at him, "Don't."

"Hey, who are you? Do we know you?" the first human says suddenly. "Are you an old douchebag in a new meat-suit?"

"Dean," Castiel says in quiet admonishment.

"What? It's not like we can tell."

"You don't know him," Castiel tells him before turning back to Grantaire. "This isn't necessary. I'm not going to harm you or these humans. You should calm yourself."

"And if you want to harm Cas then we're going to have a problem," the tall human says.

Grantaire makes no attempt to calm himself. "Are you alone?" he demands of Castiel, whose vessel affects a faintly puzzled expression.

"I'm here with Sam and Dean," he says slowly, and Grantaire scowls.

"I mean," he says, "where is your garrison?"

"I no longer serve Heaven, Rachmiel," Castiel says in oddly gentle tones, as if he's just realised why Grantaire would be so horrified to see him.

"Do not call me that," Grantaire snaps with a sharp shake of his head. "You—what do you mean?"

"I am...fallen." There's a strange mixture of pride and shame in Castiel's voice as he says it. "My loyalties were tested and I found them to lie more with humanity than with our brothers and sisters."

"You…" Grantaire's mind, emerging from the initial shock, starts to piece things together, starts to remember. "I saw you. Last year. You were killing angels and humans. Hundreds of them."

"Hey, that wasn't Cas," one of the humans, Dean, starts to protest, while Grantaire hears twin sharp intakes of breath from Combeferre and Enjolras as they apparently make the connection between the God-Monster they'd seen on screen all those months ago and the mild-mannered man standing before them now.

"Look, okay, let's...We didn't come here to fight," says the other human, whom Grantaire assumes, through elimination, to be Sam. "It's complicated, okay? But Castiel is with us. He's not the bad guy. He's saved our lives more times than I can count and—hell, he helped us stop the apocalypse."

"Did he say the apocalypse?" Grantaire hears Enjolras mutter behind him.

"What did you two have to do with the…?" Grantaire looks at the two strangers properly for the first time and feels a fresh wave of hysteria. There is a lot to be read from their souls that he will unpack later, but most pressingly, he can see who they are—what they are. "You're the vessels." His undoubtedly wild-eyed gaze swings back to Castiel. "You're walking around with Michael and Lucifer's vessels? You brought them here?"

"Michael and Lucifer are both in the cage," Castiel says. "I do not expect they will be coming looking for their vessels."

"And they already know that they do not have consent to take either of us for a ride," Dean says with a grimly sardonic smile.

Grantaire's head feels like it's going to explode, which wouldn't kill him but would undoubtedly be very distressing for Enjolras and Combeferre to witness. He wills his vessel to hold it together.

"Grantaire," Combeferre says quietly—even that makes him jump. Combeferre speaks to him in soft, rapid-fire French that the Americans clearly do not understand and that Castiel politely pretends not to hear. "If he's really broken with Heaven, isn't that a good thing? For you to not be the only one?"

Grantaire casts a somewhat tortured glance back at him, not anywhere near ready to accept the idea that running into anyone from his family could ever be good, before looking inevitably back to Castiel, unable to keep his eyes from returning to the perceived threat in the room.

"It is good to see you," Castiel says, horribly earnest. "I believed you dead."

"Yeah, that was the idea," Grantaire snaps. Castiel tilts his head to one side like a confused puppy, a crease appearing between his eyebrows.

"You've been in hiding," he hazards finally.

"Pretty successfully, up until now," Grantaire says.

"Hey, just like Gabriel," Dean remarks. "You gotta wonder how many other angels flew the coop."

"Gabriel," Combeferre repeats in tones of disbelief that match Grantaire's own feelings. "The archangel? He also…?"

"Gabriel is dead," Grantaire says bluntly.

"Yeah, but he had a good run hanging out down here pretending to be a trickster god," Dean says with a smile that suggests not-so-fond remembrance. "What've you been hiding out as? Some other deity?"

There's an agonising sort of pause, and then it's Enjolras who says, not without bitterness, "A human."

Dean whistles. "That's a bold choice."

"Rachmiel," Castiel says, and Grantaire wants to scream. "Heaven will not hear of any of this from me. You and your humans are safe. Please. I—Here."

He puts one hand up as if in surrender while his blade falls from the sleeve of his coat into his other hand. He holds it up, slowly and demonstratively, before setting it down on Combeferre's coffee table and stepping back.

There is a very strange, very awkward moment where Castiel and his two humans look at Grantaire expectantly, waiting for him to return the gesture and disarm. Finally, Enjolras steps forward. He catches Grantaire's eye questioningly and, at his nod, takes Grantaire's blade out of his own coat and lays it next to Castiel's. Dean and Sam's eyebrows shoot up and Castiel gives a slow, considered blink, but mercifully all three of them refrain from saying anything about the matter.

[9x07]

PLEASE TELL ME MORE

Honestly Kayla, finding this in my inbox is the highlight of my week, one of my favourite blogs on here @nilefreemans

I honestly have so many thoughts about bucktommy overall but tommy kinard is such an enigma in many ways and it’s kind of like sudoku where it’s a fun puzzle to play around with headcanons based on intentional and unintentional canon information and i have so many thoughts whenever i see gifs

cause like yeah it’s very easy to just be like yeah i’ve seen pics of lou with earrings but choosing to interpret it as an intentional character element adds so much to tommy’s character

cause yeah ear piercings are way less gendered now but i know i certainly grew up hearing so many gendered rules about who could or couldn’t get their ears pieced and the “gay earring”, and i imagine that would have been so much more amplified for Tommy, just the layers of pressure and closeting he is seemingly under prior to chimney begins— which makes the pierced ears even more interesting because jt means in universe that there was some point in time that tommy felt like he could step out of those confines and take what looks like this tiny little step but in reality is profound for him but only temporarily since we don’t see him wear them even outside of work iirc.

and i’m just fascinated by these little pockets of liberation for characters like tommy —like for ref. I watched spn and one of my favourite fic tropes is Stanford Era Dean where for a brief moment he doesn’t have to be hunter nobody is perceiving him and he gets to just be himself a queer man— which just feels very Tommy

like i don’t have hard or fast ideas and tommy doesn’t seems like the most traditionally impulsive (like buck) but more of a measured impulsivity where maybe he doesn’t seek things out but he’ll eagerly engage when it’s there- i mean see every time chimney has ‘dragged’ him into things/information out of him

So while I could easily see it being a throwaway line of like “oh yeah I forget about em, I got them when I lost a bet” or as a more active rebellious move of like hey I can't do something grander but I can do this and the kind of people who would see this as gay are the people I'm looking to spite right now

But my personal favourite is (again a lot of this is me just wanting an version of the stanford era dean segment of A Thousand Lives fic but Tommy pre-buck) I really enjoyed the idea that Tommy got his ears pieced because he wanted to just sincerely, even more so if in a bitter sweet way it’s in this blip of tommy’s life prior to coming out when he’s out to himself and dating men, going to queer spaces etc. and one of them is some queer man with the patience of a saint who one evening in a moment of calm intimacy probably brushing their hands through tommy’s hair and when noticing his ears ask tommy if he’s ever thought about getting them pierced- and at this window of post army and either pre LAFD entirely or just pre-buck 118- he has just enough courage to say yes and agree to getting them pierced, and like eventually this partner would somehow convince him to do some level of gender bending expression or drag like a Halloween costume (like please can somebody draw Tommy doing rock horror) and then bittersweet it’d probably link back to tommy being just not being ready for or in the right environment to be really fully out and a mutual break out as the other guy looking for a more visible relationship

i really wasn’t expecting this to be this long i had to fully delete a tangent i had about my thoughts on tommy and love actually but that’s for a different post lmao, again really honoured that you enjoyed my rambly tags enough to want to hear more, i wish i wrote fic so i could put these ideas together better but at least it’s there

[soullessjack]

🔥 jack

oh my godddd I have so many unpopular opinions where do I even start….HOLY DISCLAIMER BATMAN!

anyways so in no particular order or tier system:

✯ i don’t think jack would wear anything feminine im sorry spn fandom. for lolz he has same-outfit-pattern-everyday autism and for serious it’s like. Really weird how fandoms tend to HC/portray non-binary amabs (and men/transmascs in general) almost exclusively as GNC or fem-presenting…like DGMW that is a real and valid form of self expression but it’s not the Only type of non-binary expression that exists. and honestly…**dare I say that most fandom/queer spaces just need to realize that queer masculinity exists and it doesn’t always have to be a matter of breaking gender norms??

** genuinely do whatever u want idc I can’t stop you i don’t want to stop you yada yada. paint his nails and put him in a skirt all u want but Please recognize patterns yall 😭

✯ more headcanon complaints (see disclaimer above ⇧) but I promise to switch it up soon. anyways every time somebody on this lil website says something along the lines of “Jack can’t handle/doesn’t like [insert violence, scary or adult-oriented thing], he prefers [soft or blatantly childlike things]” I shrivel inward like a dead spider. It’s annoying, it’s completely inaccurate to his canon personality and interests, it’s annoying ˣ2, and whether ppl wanna admit it or not—it stems from infantilization. not necessarily ableism, as infantilization is not exclusive to disabled people, but still just about the same thing.

honestly all I see of majority jack headcanons are ones that set him back to just being a child or otherwise being treated like one. for example, the one about him being able to shapeshift is pretty cool...until it just becomes about him deciding to age regress, yknow, to an age set he canonically chose not to go through, showed no desire to be in, and is more offended than anything to be considered as such. all of his interests have to be some shit like bluey or animal crossing, and he drinks apple juice from a sippy cup instead of beer. BARF.

I’ve lessened on my keyboard warring over babyjack in the past year but I have not lessened in being a hater. and I’ve said this before, but the baby-jack au already breached headcanon containment a long time ago when it’s not only so widespread that ppl take it for canon and it makes having any intelligent conversation about him nearly fucking Impossible, but it also lead to harassment and accusations of being a fucking predator, to anyone who dared find a whole grown man attractive. any potential jack ship, like jackharper? automatic grooming case to them. it’s like the fandom is just so dead set on this idea that jack really truly is a child in every aspect you can think of, and for what? if it’s just a headcanon, something you know is not part of the actual show, then don’t go Travis the Chimp levels of apeshit when you see him being treated like he is canonically 💀

unpopular opinion numero 3 which is slightly connected to 2:

✯ baby-jack and a handful of the domestic au’s are BORING (see disclaimer again ⇧), not just on a surface level to my suiting, but also because I feel like it just ..misses the point of the show?

the ragtag untraditional found family is now as nuclear and traditional as the Atomic Age. Dean and Cas are the most heteronormative “who wears the pants in the relationship” gay couple ever, Sam is demoted to the uncle that gets written out of his own family, Jack is just there to make his gay dads look cute and emphasize that they’re a gay family (while still being very heteronormative), and at least 5 of them could be found in a California gated community. everything that made any of them unique or defined their personalities is just scrubbed off, even for an AU.

so much of the later seasons focus on Sam and Dean realizing that they don’t have to make a hard splitting decision between the lives they want to live; that they can find a balance; be happy and have good things—namely families—without giving up hunting (and vice versa, that they can have hunting without giving up on family or happiness). everybody loves the gay hunters from S10(?12?) and what they represented for Dean, but I almost never see that be put into practice in the fandom.

THEY’RE ALREADY DOMESTIC!!! AND WITH THAT PERFECT BALANCE!!!! Season 13 quite literally gave Team Free Will a surrogate son to raise and established them as a family; highly untraditional, largely dysfunctional, overall not fitting of a family family, and yet they are a family still. Dean wears an apron and cooks and bakes for everyone; he built himself a man cave and established two separate family night events that they all ritually keep up; Sam has a morning jogging routine and visits his girlfriend every so often; Jack was taught how to drive, has normal chores like washing dishes, and gets groceries. And they didn’t just have that while fighting monsters—they had that while fighting a whole fucking archangel. Even if it did go down the gutter by the end, they still had it: domestic familial bliss and violent messy hunting without having to trade one for the other.

✯ I truly genuinely think Jack’s relationship with Dean is the best, most interesting and most misunderstood out of the three, and I also think that the problems with his relationship to Cas and Sam are hugely overlooked by the fandom—granted they are very small, especially if you’re comparing it to Dean, but they’re still there and I think we should bully Cas and Sam about it more. I shan’t elaborate because it’s 5AM and this was an impulsive add-on ❤️

✯ getting normal now…his plaid pattern jacket from the first half of Ouroboros is ugly as SHIT i have never liked it and don’t think I ever will. but I cannot deny it; he got that shit on.

✯ most unpopular opinion of all, I wanna do insane shit to his cervix 🙌

[jjtheresidentbaby]

» spn agere week: day 2, little and their caregiver go on a long car drive - jan 30th

» for @spnagereweek event || on my ao3 | 1.7k+ wrd count

» little!sam & caregiver!dean

» warnings: pre canon, hurt/comfort, swearing

“It’s so cool Dean, c’mon admit it!” Sam swivels in his seat of the mini van Dean’s driving. They rented it for a bit while the Impala is in the shop, much to Dean’s dismay, and John’s out on a hunt a few states over so the trucks gone too.

“Okay you’re right, it’s kind of cool. Not as cool as Baby though.” Dean caves and smiles when Sam beams with a mutter about him being right like always. He sounds so happy, it’s a little strange for Dean if he’s honest, ever since Sam hit age sixteen he’s been a ball of angst and anger, but not today.

He’s acting like he would when he was younger- still in his fleece pajama pants because no matter what Dean said he wouldn’t change, giggling at Dean’s cheesy jokes, sitting cross legged in his seat, flipping through the cds that the car rental place left like they’re the most interesting thing in the world, pointing out different colored houses or animals they see as they drive- it’s like he’s eleven again. Dean has no idea why or what’s even going on but he likes seeing Sammy happy so he won’t bring it up.

“Hey they have Metallica!” The cd gets pulled out of the plastic sleeve in seconds and Sam leans to slide it into the radio.

“You don’t wanna listen to something else?” The look he gets in response is somewhere along the line of ‘why in the world would you ask that’ and ‘how dare you offend me like that’ which makes Dean snort. Usually Sam’s complaining left and right about only being able to listen to the tapes Dean and John have stockpiled in the Impala and truck.

“Can’t believe you just said that, who are you and what have you done with my big brother?” Sam teases and blushes with a laugh when Dean pushing his hand at the top of Sam’s head.

“Haha, okay smart guy what do you want for lunch?” Please don’t say salad, please don’t say salad. One more salad this week and Dean may lose his mind.

“Slushies!” Dean blinks once, twice, pulls up to a red light and turns to see if his brother is being serious. He is.

“Sammy that’s not lunch.” A frankly pitiful pout forms on Sam’s lips in seconds, big eyes blinking at Dean like he just told him his dog died.

“We can get them but we need real food too.” That thankfully seems to fix the issue as Dean knows from years of raising Sam that the expression he just had would eventually turn to tears if he’s not careful.

“Can we get mac and cheese?” God he really is like a little kid again. Something sour appears in the back of Dean’s throat, partly worried his brother might’ve gotten cursed or something, but more so concerned that something might’ve triggered this. They’ve been nonstop hunting for a while now and Sam’s even had to skip school which Dean knows he hates. Maybe the drastic change in routine has been messing with him more than he says? Maybe the horror of what they see is finally setting in and this is Sam’s way of getting away from it?

“Course bud.” He smiles and lets his hand rest in Sam’s hair when he pushes into Dean’s touch. He was reaching to ruffle his brother’s hair like when they were younger but Sam’s almost laid across the center of the van to stay touching Dean.

“Thanks De’.” And fuck- that nickname strikes something deep in Dean’s chest.

It’s been years since Sam’s used it, he was still shorter than Dean back then, still got excited when John would come home, still asked Dean a million lore questions he was too young to be asking, still wanted to sleep in Dean’s bed with excuses of it being cold but in reality the monsters outside scared him and he needed his big brother to protect him. He was so innocent back then, short years ago that feels like a lifetime.

-

“The drive through is too long so I’m just going to go in and grab the food.” Dean says as he pulls into the parking lot of the Wendy’s restaurant- it’s the only fast food place Dean knows has mac and cheese and isn’t a two hour drive outside of where they’re going.

“Wait you’re leaving?” A hand quickly wraps around Dean’s forearm before he can turn to climb out of the van. His brow furrows when he sees how upset Sam looks, bordering on looking- scared? What the hells he scared of? He was smiling five seconds ago, humming along to the radio louder than normal and bouncing in his seat a bit like he used to.

“Just to get some food, I’ll be back fifteen minutes tops.” None of it soothes Sam.

“You wanna come with me?” He gets a nod, though it’s hesitant.

Almost the second they step into the restaurant Sam’s hand reaches to grip Dean’s tight like a vice. He’s glued to his brothers side and would be hidden behind Dean’s frame if not for the added height Sam has, height he’s trying to hide in this moment as he shrinks down and curls up against Dean. It’s breaking Dean’s heart a little- there’s maybe five people in the restaurant and yet Sam seems terrified.

“You okay Sammy?” The few people in the place are eyeing them more obviously than appreciated- Dean isn’t sure if it’s the pajamas with the Iron Maiden shirt and converse Sam’s in, the way he’s tucked into Dean’s side, or just the fact that they look out of place in this small town in the middle of nowhere Maine.

“Mm.” Well that’s not good. Sam always got quiet when he was upset as a kid, only giving a hum or nod to questions asked, not caring if John had been pleading with him for an hour to talk or if Dean promised a trip to the movies to see whatever Sam wanted or even if Bobby gave him free range over his entire library. The kids a master at the silent game.

“What can I get for you two?” The voice of the woman behind the register startles Dean which in turn startles Sam twice as bad, he clings his free hand to the loose material of Dean’s t-shirt and stuffs his face into Dean’s shoulder.

All Dean can do is relay their order back to the woman- pointedly ignoring her concerned looks at Sam- and wrap an arm around Sam’s shoulders so he has an easier time tucking himself as small as he can into Dean’s chest. The food takes no time at all to be done and Dean gets Sam ushered out of there as quick as humanly possible without someone thinking he’s kidnapping him. The sigh of relief both boys let out once in the van again makes Dean feel uneasy- they shouldn’t be sighing like this over ordering fast food.

“You wanna go get those slushies now Sammy?” He reaches to place his hand in Sam’s hair again, rubbing his thumb at his brother’s forehead and watching with a slightly furrowed brow as Sam’s eyes flutter shut before back open again. It’s only one pm, they left at seven this morning which isn’t all that early on Winchester time, but maybe Sam’s been acting weird because he’s tired?

“Or maybe stop at a motel and sleep?” The plan was to drive for at least another eight or so hours before stopping to sleep, but the last thing Dean wants is for whatever’s going on with Sam to get worse. He could be feeling sick, it is freezing out and it’s not like they’re exactly up to date with their flu shots.

“Thought we had to meet dad?” Sam asks with a clumsy rub of his eyes that makes Dean give a faint smile. He’s the same little kid he’s always been.

“We’d have to drive back here for Baby anyways, we’re just saving a trip.” Assuming the Impala will be done by tomorrow morning when they go to leave again, Dean can hope, and hope that John doesn’t ask too many details on why Dean and Sam won’t be meeting him as early as they said they would. The hunt he’s on seems pretty nasty so Dean doubts he’ll be paying much to mind to what day the boys get there.

“M’kay.”

It takes all of twenty minutes for Dean to find and book a room at the nearest motel- years of hunting for them in the pitch black makes them pretty easy to spot in the daytime. Sam stays in the car as Dean gets the key and pays for the room- though Dean can feel how hard Sam’s staring at him through the window, he swears the nervous energy radiates far enough that it makes Dean’s spine shiver.

“You okay bud?” Dean says with half a laugh when Sam collapses onto his bed and instantly curls his arms around Dean’s middle with his head on Dean’s chest. There’s an empty queen bed two feet away- it was the same price as getting a single so he figured Sam would appreciate the bed to himself. Apparently he was wrong.

“You’re not goin’ anywhere right?” His face falls hearing Sam’s voice come out so small, nearly whispering as he tightens his hold around Dean.

“Course not. I’m always right here Sammy.” That’s all it takes for Sam to let his eyes slip shut.

Dean can’t even think about going to sleep- too overwhelmed with worry- so he does what he did when Sam was little and starts to rub his hand up and down Sam’s back, counting the breaths he takes with each stroke of his fingers against Sam’s spine. He really hopes Sam’s acting a little more normal when he wakes up but just incase Dean makes a plan for if he’s not, going over the basic steps he used to do to make sure Sam stayed happy when he was a little kid, reminding himself of the habits Sam hasn’t shown in years but may revert back to. If Sam needs him to take care of him like he used to then Dean is going to make sure he does it right.

[profoundbondfanfic]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you)

heard from your mother (she don’t recognize you) by rupertgayes (@rupertgayes) Rating: Mature Word Count: 538k

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things: Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; he has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; he keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who must be as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is. For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

Are you in the mood to experience the whole story developing a bit differently right from the start?

Then here you go!

On one hand there is Dean, still having a hard time handling his brother leaving for college years ago and trying to somehow manage by doing his due diligence as a hunter and following his father’s demands to the letter. Somewhere along the way, however, he starts to constantly cross paths with a man who remembers nothing from his life apart from his name and a strong urge to hunt monsters. At first Dean has no idea what to make of this guy who calls himself Cas, but over time their connection and relationship grows into something very personal as everything around them unravels.

If you ever wanted to know what would happen if you were to throw Cas into pre canon and early season SPN, this series certainly doesn’t hesitate to show you just that! Cas has no clue where he is coming from, who he even is deep down, and yet he gives it his everything to use his abilities to save as many people as possible. 

And Dean, bless him, simply can’t help but be drawn to all of that (because how could he not?), no matter how hard he fights it. Since at the end of the day he is still Dean Winchester who’s simply unable to resist a blue-eyed weirdo of a guy who could very well be an actual honest-to-God angel or whatever (not that something like that exists, right?? RIGHT????) by the way he is acting and showing off his strange powers and all that. Poor Dean is just helpless and it’s the greatest fun to see him sinking deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole!

But it’s also intriguing to watch everything unfold in a slightly different manner, with some crucial details changed, and the mystery of Cas’ past, of his true being, is wonderfully depicted as they gather more and more breadcrumbs over time. I mean, technically we all know the answer to the puzzle that is Cas, contrary to the characters, and yet (or maybe especially because of it) you find yourself ridiculously invested.

And yes, this series is a big boy, I’ll give it that, but I promise you it’s worth it and you will barely feel time flying by as you dive into this alternate and yet so very familiar version of events which are going to leave you on the edge of your seat!

So please, have fun 😁

[h50europe]

HELL HATH, NO FURY LIKE A FANDOM SCORNED (borrowed from the SPN fandom). I am not one who usually speaks up. But the things that are currently going down in the 911 fandom initiated from a particular corner of it with bashing actors and even harassing their family members on IG, as well as fellow fans, are disgusting. I had my share in other fandoms and got burned. I thought the 911 fandom was different. Little did I know.

The fandom has different levels of canonicity, from canon to fanon. The fandom is large enough to accommodate all of us. Can we please enjoy the present moment instead of playing the Oracle of Delphi? Speculations, discussions, and criticism (if constructive) are okay. But not going on a rampage based on hearsay, rumors, or a hunch.

The actors admit they are often unaware of what's coming next, as they receive their scripts on short notice. Longtime fans of the show know that anything is possible. Every fandom has its tin hats and conspiracy theorists, some of whom can be vocal and unpleasant.

However, the whole point of being in a fandom is to have fun. The playground is big enough for all of us, and plenty of talented, creative minds are contributing to the community.

Personally, I take the show as it comes. I'm used to not just having a favorite ship but an entire armada 😎 So I wouldn't go as far as declaring something "dead in the water" ( because I saw that concerning #Buddie) based solely on interviews. No offense here.

We should sit back and let the story unfold, treating it like a bottle of wine. You open it and then let it breathe. You don't immediately pour the liquid into the glass and drink it. Tim managed to surprise us by the end of the 100th episode. Who knows what else he has in store.

We are open to it. Of course, we sometimes disagree with the plot. But we don't throw a tantrum. There's already enough drama in this world. No need to add to it with "fandom wars" that go nowhere but hurt many people in the wake.

If you made it here, thanks for taking the time to read. You get an extra batch of brownie points...

[destiel-wings]

Did I miss Misha originally say Cas’s confession was platonic?

I don't think Misha ever said that. For as much as i know he was on the main team with Bobo Berens to actively fight to have the confession happen, so he definitely never thought it was platonic. He's always been quite vocal about how non platonic it was actually, like when in Italy the "I love you" was dubbed with the platonic version of it, "ti voglio bene" (instead of "ti amo", which is the romantic equivalent) he posted a video to criticize that embarrassing decision.

I think there's been a moment, right after the first spn conventions after the finale, when the first fan questions about the confession happened and extremely embarrassing replies were given by certain actors (I'm talking about the infamous reply that Jared gave to a fan asking about it), Misha got really upset (not at Jared, i mean, in general, because apparently even after the confession canonically happened IN THE SHOW, they still weren't allowed to talk about it, or about destiel as an actual thing), and so he may have been quite frustrated for a while, not expressing himself quite as strongly ad he did at first.

But I'm seeing the latest few cons that happened, mainly the latest two jibs, and all the amazing jenmish content we got in their panels together, and how slightly easier it's become for them to talk about it... i mean Jensen and Misha wrote a destiel song on the spot a week ago at the jib11, and Jensen said he would love to see the confession being adressed "maybe we will get to see that soon" and I'm being more hopeful.

And so Misha has been quite more at ease bringing it up again too, like this is another reply he gave last week at jib11:

The thing about destiel is, I think the people in power never wanted it to happen because they thought they would lose viewers and thus, money, tainting the franchise. I think most of the writers tried to slip it in anyway, through the subtext, and they were always allowed it to a certain extent because it worked, and it placed the show in a certain limbo where destiel was basically Schrodinger's cat. It was there and wasn't at the same time. The confession was fought for and i think the peole who cared about it did whatever they could, but still, they couldn't get a complete win since the ones in charge still refused to let Dean reciprocate. So that must've been extremely frustrating for Misha too, because he's one of the ones that really cared for it, and understood just how meaningful it was to many people, and the power it had, and it might have had if brough to completion.

I think Jensen went on board too, somewhere along the way, and he changed his mind for the better. Like, i still think that to him, Dean is probably straight, but he's been way more open recently (ever since the confession, and probably during season 15 too, since the moment he knew the story was going to lead there) and probably after seeing the impact it had, the fandom's reaction to it and the finale, he probably understood just how much it would mean to so many people. So even though he may definitely have a preference for Dean being straight IF THE NETWORK ALLOWED IT i really don't think he would be against a canonically bi Dean. Not anymore. I think he might actually go for it. For the fans.

And i think he's had talks with Misha about it.

But what i mostly mean when I say "it's become slightly easier for them to talk about it" is they have more room to do it, because either their NDAs are about to expire or Jensen buying the rights to the story gives him more power to disclose things and talk more freely. Please take all these words with a grain of salt because i don't work in the industry and these are just my personal speculations, but i think the main problem and cause of frustration with talking about destiel publicly for any of the actors has always been contractual. The show didn't officially take a position (denying Dean the reciprocation) and so all the public statements and opinions of the actors needed to contractually adhere to the "company line" (which i think may *only partially* explain Jared's infamous rant, as a horrendously clumsy attempt to avoid confirmation of destiel - note that I'm not justifying it).

Of course, the enraging thing is that while Dean's reciprocation is canonically up to discussion and subject to interpretation, Castiel's is not. So Misha has always been one of the few to be freer to talk about that specific moment, because Castiel's journey took a clearer stand.

But even that has been buried or blurred down to "interpretation" very often by others, taking another time a huge step back, to favor the colossal hiding of destiel and not risk a blatant confirmation from the show, officially, on both sides. So if Misha ever said anything about it being platonic (which i don't think he did), he was probably just ranting it out in extreme frustration or reciting it as a company line to survive from the snipers of the CW (just as the rest of the actors).

***

That's how i see it anyway. Sorry i went a little overboard with my reply, and brought up Jensen in the discourse too, but hopefully that answers it! :)

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart - Chapter 12

Pairing- ex!Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 3,827

Warnings- Some language. Dealing with a breakup. Sad reader. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N-We're going to hear a little bit more from Jensen, and the reader gets to know someone new a little better. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

When Mackenzie leaves your apartment complex, she makes her way back to Jensen’s place.  Her brother is on the couch with a glass of what she assumes is whiskey in his hand, his phone on the table in front of him.  He’s just staring at a black television screen.  

She doesn’t know if he heard her come back or not, because he hasn’t moved yet.  Walking behind him she slaps the back of his head before coming around the front of the couch.

“Ouch, what was that for?” Jensen questions, rubbing the back of his head. 

“For being a dumbass, and losing the best damn thing that has ever happened to you.” 

She picks up a pillow from the end of the couch and throws it at him, with the glass of alcohol in his hand he doesn’t react in time to knock it away.

“What has gotten into you today?  I liked yesterday’s Mack better.”

“She hadn’t just spent the last couple hours with Y/N.”

Jensen looks up at her, “you saw her?”

“I did, and considering how much you always said she meant to you, you did a piss poor job of showing it.  I don’t think I have ever seen Y/N so down and hurt.  What the hell were you thinking treating her like that?”  She ends with a shout.

“I never wanted to hurt her!” He yells back. 

“Well mission not accomplished!”  

Kenzie is pacing back and forth in front of the tv, while her brother gets up and moves to the kitchen.  She follows him after a moment and watches him fill up his glass with whiskey and down it.

“If the man you told me about yesterday, and what she said today is who my brother is turning into, I don’t think I want to know him.”

“That makes two of us.”  He pours another drink before his sister takes the glass away from him.  He takes a big drink from the bottle instead.  “I looked through my phone today, my text messages with Y/N.  There are so many I never responded to.  I didn’t even make it to checking the call log.”

“What happened to you?  This isn’t how mom raised us, and this isn’t my big brother that always used to watch out for others.”

When he doesn’t reply she continues.

“How could you just push her to the side like she doesn’t mean anything?  Yesterday, you told me you already bought her a ring.  Were you having second thoughts about asking her?  Did you want to end things?  What was going through that head of yours?  Did the new hairstyle come with a dickhead attitude?”

“No, I don’t know. I didn’t mean to.”

“You didn’t mean to?  You’re not a kid that accidentally broke mom’s vase here.  She is really hurting Jay, heartbroken and living in some closet sized dump of an apartment.” 

He stares at his sister and replays the last thing she said.  Is she not at Jared’s anymore?  Grabbing his empty glass and going back to the couch, Jensen sits down in one corner and Kenzie sits in the other facing him.  

“Talk to me please,” she softly pushes. 

“For the first time in ten years I was walking onto a new set.”

“It’s not the first time you’ve been on a new set.  You were just on a movie set before this one.”

He rolls his eyes at the interruption.  “I know, but it was the first time I was coming on after being the star of my own show for so long.  The Batman movie, we were all pretty much in the same boat there.   These guys on The Boys, have been together for two years already.  Not everyone was the most welcoming at first.  Hell, one of the guys even told me, he didn’t want to like me.” 

He pauses for a moment before continuing.  “I didn’t want it to end up being like Dark Angel, where there were stupid fights over lines, or screen time, or some other idiotic thing.  So I did everything I could to try and fit in and avoid rocking the boat. I found a new friend in Karl, and we hung out outside of work. We might go golfing or hit up a bar, maybe both, sometimes Chace or Jack would join.  Then Karl would invite me along when they all went out as a group.I didn’t want to tell them no, and let them think I wasn’t a team player.”

“Okay, but what’s that have to do with how you treated Y/N?”

“When she showed up to dinner with Eric, I was afraid they might see it as calling in a favor with the boss to get my girlfriend to be around.  I don’t quite know how to explain how I saw it at the time.”

“That’s ridiculous.  What about barely talking with anyone before that?”

“We would spend a lot of time on set.  Might not always be the ones filming, but we were there. Phones had to stay in our trailers.  Some nights I was so beat that I just wanted to shower and get to sleep.  Honestly there were times, I didn’t even think to look at it. This character, he’s not exactly the best guy.  There were days or nights I would get in this awful headspace, and I just shut myself away.”

“Mom, Y/N, me, any of us could have helped and talked to you if you needed it.”

“But I got it in my head that I needed to do this on my own.  Prove I could do it just as well as the other guys they were looking at for the part.”

“Bravo, you did it.  You just became an asshole in the process.”

“I never meant to.  I got caught up in everything, and the filming process is different.  It isn’t really just one episode at a time.  Plus there are all these extra things thrown in that we’re filming.  Everything together, it was just a crazy couple of months.”

“I think you need to take some time now that you’re home, to figure out where exactly you stand, and what’s important in your life.  You treated Y/N like shit, and your family didn’t fare much better. I doubt your friends did either.  But you would be an even bigger idiot than you have been if you let that girl go without a fight.”

“After everything, there is no way she would want me back.”

His sister shrugs, getting up from the couch.  “Well this has been an interesting two days, but I need to get back to Dallas.  You need to work on removing your head from your ass.”

“Thanks, Mack,” he quips with a roll of his eyes. 

Picking up her purse she heads for the door.  “Good luck, you’re going to need it.”

“Thanks, drive safe.  Text me when you get home.”

“It would serve you right if I didn’t.”

He just glares at her.

“Alright, fine.  Love you.”

“Love you too, kid.”

With a hug she is off the front porch and over to her car.  Jensen waves as she pulls out of sight.  Shutting the front door he makes his way back to the living room thinking over everything that had been said. 

You spent the rest of your Sunday on the couch with the now empty bag of popcorn.  The Hallmark Channel didn’t last very long.  Flipping channels doesn’t get you anywhere, so you pull up Netflix and decide on Lucifer.  Rich had worked on that show before, and had given you a hard time about not checking it out yet.

Unfortunately, you end up falling asleep on the couch and your neck and back are not happy with you Monday morning.  At least today should be a fairly easy one.  You just have two early scenes and should be free after lunch.

After hair and makeup are done with you this morning, you head to wardrobe before going to your trailer to wait for your call time.   While you are going over the script there is a knock at the door.

“Come in,” you call out from the couch.  

Looking up you see Keegan walking in, seems like he is all ready for the day also.  

“Hey, I was just wondering if you wanted to run lines for the second scene?” he asks.

“Sure, you can have a seat.”

Sitting across from you he pulls out the needed pages while you flip to your own.  The scene is just the two of you talking or arguing about Cordel after he has stormed out of their parents house. It has your two characters slightly at odds.  You want to cut the ranger a little slack after everything that has happened, his brother does not. 

A short while later a PA comes to call the both of you to the Walker family house set.  Jared is talking with the director.  Violet and Kale, who play Jared’s children, are off to the side looking over their scripts, while Mitch and Molly, the elder Walkers, are seated in the family living room already in their spots.   

During a break after the second take, Keegan pulls out his phone and takes a quick video of everyone waiting for the next take.  

“Here is some of our amazing cast hard at work on episode 2.”

You wave and smile when he turns it to you.

“Are you ready for this Miss Padalecki?”

“I believe I am.  How about you?”

He turns the camera on himself before shrugging. “Guess we’ll find out.  Bye for now.”

The morning goes quickly.  Since you are finished with your scenes, you are getting ready to head out.  Jared comes over as you are locking up your trailer.

“Hey, where are you off to?”

“Heading home.  What do you have?”

“A couple scenes after lunch, then some work on the producer side.”

“Good luck, hope it goes well.”

“Thanks.  I was heading for lunch, did you want to grab some with me before you go?”

You are about to say no, but your brother looks a little down.  “Sure, sounds good.”

You follow him over to craft services and notice that once he has his food, he’s looking around for a place to sit.  Unlike the Supernatural set, those here just look at him and nod as he walks by.  No one calls out for him to join them.  The two of you sit at an empty table in the back, he looks down while he starts to eat.

“What’s going on?”

Looking up in confusion, Jared just shrugs.

“Okay, let’s try this.  Where do you usually eat lunch here?”

“Gen was here some last week so she and Tom joined me.  I’ve had some meetings over lunch other days.”

“You don’t join in with the others?”

“I’m their boss here.  I’ve tried to joke around to get them to loosen up, but it’s still early I guess.  Mitch isn’t bad, but he usually eats in his trailer so he can skype his wife.”

“Y/N, you’re still here!” you hear Keegan call out behind you.

Looking up, you notice him walking over toward your table, he pauses when he sees Jared.  

“Hey Keegan, why don’t you join us?” you call out to him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, come on.  Do you have more scenes this afternoon?”

“Yep, Jared and I have the brother’s confrontation scene next.  Then a flashback with the Walker family.”

“Okay, did you two need to run lines or anything?”

“I don’t want to bother Jared,” your new friend starts to say.

“It’s no bother.  I’d be happy to.  We can figure out how we want to play it before we get there,” Jared interrupts him.

You leave a short time later with those two in an animated discussion. 

Back at your apartment you decide to take advantage of the workout room.  All your extra snacks and sweets lately have your wardrobe fitting a little tight.  A swim after helps to cool you down before going back to your place. You have the next day off and give Gen a call to see if she wants to get together.  She has some meeting for a fundraiser board she is on, so you offer to come watch Tom.

It’s been a few days since your nephew has seen you.  The little man keeps you on your toes all day Tuesday.  You are playing with his toys indoors, out in the pool, and then running around the yard for a game of chase.  By the time Gen gets back you are wiped.  Tom settles down for a nap, while you spend some time with her.   Back home later that night, you head to bed early knowing the next three days will be long ones on set. 

Jared gives Jensen a call Tuesday night when he is once again hounded by Tom because Aunt Y/N didn’t bring Uncle Jensen over today.  

“Hey,” Jared greets his longtime friend.

“Hi Jare,” Jensen answers. 

“Tom wants to know when he's going to see Uncle Jensen.”

“My week is pretty open, what’s yours look like?”

“I’m on set all week. Tom has an appointment tomorrow Gen is taking him to.  She’ll be home with him Thursday, and she’ll be on set Friday afternoon so he’ll be there.”

“How about I pick him up Friday before Gen goes to work.  That way he isn’t stuck on the lot, or in your trailer.  I can take him over to the park, and bring him back to my place until one of you is done.”

“I’ll run it by Gen, but it should work.”

The two make small talk before ending the conversation.  Jared texts him later that Friday is good for them.

Wednesday and Thursday end up being longer days on set for you, and you are thankful there are only three scenes you are a part of on Friday.  They are just spread out a bit so you are still spending the whole day on set.  You see Gen arrive and go over to greet her and Tom, and are surprised when your nephew isn’t in the car.

“He’s with Jensen.  Tom has been begging to see him,” she tells you with a slight wince.

“Oh, I bet he has.  It’s good that they can spend some time together,” you respond with a small smile.  “I forgot something in my trailer, I’ll catch you later Gen.”

Back inside your trailer you take a seat on the couch.  Why are you upset about this?  Tom loves Jensen and you knew eventually your brother and him would be hanging out again.  Is it because you wish you were included in the plans like you used to be?  You just have to keep reminding yourself that you need to get used to the new way of things.

One very excited Tom is in his car seat in the back of Jensen’s truck on the way to the park.  The little boy hasn’t stopped talking yet. It helps take Jensen’s mind off of the tense exchange he had with Gen.  She is loyal and fierce, so he should have expected that.  Tom has told the adult up front all about his new lego set, the mess Sadie made in the house after she rolled in mud the other day, and the trip he took where he got to wave a sparkle lighter in his hand.

“What’s a sparkle lighter?”  Jensen asks, looking back at him while they are stopped at a light.

“A stick that my daddy put fire on and then I got to hold it while the sparkle lights shot off it.”

“Oh, you mean a sparkler.”

“Yeah, a sparkle lighter.”

“Sure bud, did you do that all by yourself?”

“Daddy helped.”

When they arrive at the park, Jensen is thankful it isn’t very busy.  Tom takes off for the swings first, when he’s tired of being pushed it’s over to the slides.  He makes sure his uncle is watching him go across the bridge on the play set to get over to the tall slide.  

Jensen is keeping a careful eye from down below to make sure he doesn’t fall.  Watching the small child, he can’t help but remember the last time he came here with you and Tom.  You were right up there with Tom making sure he got across just fine.  The first time down the slide you had to go with him, after that he wanted you up with him, but to slide down himself.  Jensen, definitely misses your company today.

When it’s time to leave the park, Tom convinces Jensen to stop for ice cream on the way back.  Looking at the time, Jensen calls in a pizza for them to pick up for dinner before they stop for ice cream.  When they reach his house, he takes Tom and the ice cream inside before coming back for the pizza.  He tells the little boy he has to eat some actual food before he can have his ice cream out of the freezer.

While they are eating Tom starts to tell Jensen about a time when you were watching him.

“Mommy and daddy weren’t home and me and Aunt Y/N got pizza and bread and cake and cheese fries and popcorn and cookies and ice cream.  I had one but she got two.”

“You had all that at once?”

“Yeah, she told me not to tell mommy though.”

This was the opening Jensen was looking for to see what was going on with you.  “How is your Aunt Y/N?”

 Tom shrugs his little shoulders. “She was crying a lot, but only when she didn’t see me there.”

“Is she still?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you see her cry anymore?”

“Not when she visits.”

“She doesn’t live with you anymore?”

“No. Why isn’t Aunt Y/N at your house?” the little boy quickly returns.

“Um.. well.. What did she tell you?”

“You were busy working.  But you aren’t now.  So can she leave her new home and come back there?  I don’t like it.  It’s really small and she has bad snacks there.  Mommy let me take goldfish over for you when you go to her new house.  So you don’t have to have the bad snacks.”

“That was very nice, thank you.  What’s Y/N’s apartment like?” Jensen tries to fish out more information.

“I don’t like playing there. Her bed is in the living room and kitchen together.  We can’t even play hide and seek.”  It doesn’t have any place to hide.”  He waves his hands around as only an exasperated four year old can.

The picture Tom is painting in Jensen’s head isn’t a great one.   Why would she leave Jared’s for a place like that?

After dinner and ice cream Jensen finds a kids movie on Netflix and hangs out in the living room with Tom.  He is out before the end of the movie and Jensen covers him with a blanket before turning off the movie and sitting there in silence.  

A knock at the front door quickly stirs him from his thoughts, he tries to get there before they wake up the little boy.  Opening the front door, Gen is on the other side.

“I’m here for Tom.”

“I figured.  He’s asleep, come on in.”

Gen silent follows him in the house, stopping in the hallway when Jensen questions her.

“How is she?”

She turns to look at her husband's best friend, and her sister-in-law’s ex. “I’m assuming you mean Y/N,” she replies after a moment.

“That would be correct.”

“Why should I tell you?”

He runs a hand through his hair, “Mack and Tom both said some things. I’m worried about her.”

“Where was that worry two, three months ago?”

“I screwed up, I majorly screwed up, okay.  That doesn’t mean I don’t care about her.  Please.”

She stares at him a good minute before responding, “You hurt her bad.  She puts on a good front, but those that know her can see through it.”

“Is her apartment as bad as they both said?”

“None of us are thrilled with her current living arrangement.”

“I was surprised to hear she moved out.”

“I don’t know how many times I heard her tell Jared she didn’t want whatever happened between the two of you to come in between you and Jared.  One reason she moved out was so he could still have you over without worrying about upsetting her.”  Gen shakes her head.  “As hurt as she was…is,  she still cares about you.”

“I never meant for this to happen.  Hurting her wasn’t my intention.”

“What was your intention then?”

“I got caught up in my own head and trying to get through filming.  I just… I didn’t realize what had happened until it was too late.  She’s right, I didn’t take the initiative and call her.  Took a few weeks after the breakup  for me to realize I was still checking my phone for messages or calls from her.  I had been doing that during the…the end of our relationship, I was too wrapped up in my own things to pick up the phone and call her to see how she was doing.  I left it to her to do all the communicating.”  He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.  “Hell, I still check my phone to see if there’s anything from her.  I’ve come to realize, I failed her on a number of levels.”

“You really did. It’s about time you realized it.  Now how are you going to fix it?”

“I don’t think I can.  She deserves a better man.”

Gen shakes her head.  “I agree she deserves better, or at least better than the you in Toronto.  But I know you still have her heart.  What the two of you had was something very special, and I thought it would be worth fighting for.”

“I won’t be around much the next few months.  I have a recurring role that films in New Mexico.  It’s not fair to her to try and win her back when I’m leaving again.  What if I just fall back into the same habits?”

“I don’t think you would be stupid enough to do that to her twice. Get your shit together Ackles, because you hurt her again, Jared will kick your ass.  But that’s nothing compared to what I will do.”

She leaves him with that, walks into the living room to pick up a sleeping Tom.  Jensen holds the front door open, and moves the car seat back to her car, all the while replaying what was said.  Could he try and win her back?  Does he wait until he’ll be around more?  Is Gen wrong and it’s already too late?  Does he even deserve to?

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 13

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[cowboyhorsegirl]

Oh! So a little (heh) detail that I’ve learned as I’ve clearly watched spn then stopped and came back, the some of the early Fics I’ve linked (along with the show) describes Cas’ vessel as lean/thin/etc. Dean keeps descibijg him as a little nerdy guy and yeah Misha might be like 5’10 but Jackles is 6’1 and Jared is stupid tall and both are pretty buff.

So when Misha started he was skinnier then both of them, but during the 10 years of being on the show Jackles slims down in general, and Misha started to work out and while the show keeps him in a full suit and trench coat so it’s hard to tell but by the end of the show Misha’s buffer then Jensen and so in the newer fics Cas’ physique is described in detail lol. Lots of talk about Cas’ biceps stretching out the shirts he’s borrowed from Dean now haha.

(I didn’t know this about the actors so when I start reading post canon fic and it kept popping up in different fics from different authors so like I had to look into it)

(Also, fans of taste and culture will have Dean with a soft belly, because he deserves too have one, and especially as a a feature of him aging and nesting)

this is so interesting but i gotta say, the first thing i did upon reading was go confirm that jackles is 6'1"

[dotthings]

Some tea from Richard Speight, Jr. about filming Cas’s testament scene has surfaced from DLC6. [x]

nothing cut from script to screen but they added things, such as Cas having to paint the sigil on the door and leaving the bloody hand print on Dean’s shoulder [my note: wbk about the additions during filming. There's still the matter of the spanish dub because the latam dubbing team felt a verbal I love you from Dean, made sense. And a few other lingering questions that have not actually been resolved and we may never know, but I'll go along. If Rich is happy with what was filmed and got to screen in the US, I'm glad. I love 15.18 either way. Rich's comments also goes to show how collaborative making tv is and how fluid the process can be.]

Rich said the scene wasn’t intended to be about Dean’s reciprocation, it was to give Cas his moment to speak his truth, to speak his love for Dean, and Cas didn’t expect an answer back, he just wanted to be heard, wanting Dean to know. [my note: makes sense to me, and it’s what I’ve thought about Cas pov. Cas pov not being the same as audience pov and what the story might need next and what Dean’s needs are. But for that scene, Cas feels complete. It also very much means the emotional story from Dean's side is not resolved. Dean wasn't given his chance yet, by creative design, perhaps because the only way they could get this greenlit at all is if it was only Cas who got to speak. We'll see what happens next.]

Rich saying because they did many takes of the scene with Dean’s emotional reactions, there are shots where Dean is crying more, or crying less. Editing put together different angles from different takes. [my note: the irony that naysayers are already trying to weaponize this to shut down the idea that anything got cut when per Rich himself, the facts on the ground are that the full range of Jensen’s acting for Dean’s response got reduced. No shade on Rich. But let's not erase or deny what was going on with Jensen's acting and how Jensen gave 110% and what wound up on screen was about 80% of whatever work Jensen did. Dean wept more than we saw, even before Dean was on the dungeon floor sobbing. Jensen’s performance as it stands is beautiful and powerful and full of emotion. It has taken an inordinate amount of hate and erasure, which is 100% cynical concern trolling to deny Dean’s feelings for Cas. More shots of Dean crying openly wouldn’t stop it, there’s no excuse for those responses. What’s there is loud enough. Only the most willfully cynical gaze could deny the love and anguish Dean showed.]

Rich said the parallel for John and Mary’s confession in TW 1x07 to 15x18 is a “coincidence” yet went on to talk about the trope of confessing love in a life or death situation and cited Leia and Han Solo among others [my note: it was also used again by an ep Rich recently directed in another piece of media I won’t say so I don’t spoil it. Also I’m laughing about how it seems he answered this. Total coincidence!! And spn 15.18 is like TW 1x07 is like Han and Leia and love confessions in dire situations is a common (romantic) trope. Pls, if anybody is taking away from this some kind of shutdown on creative recognition of the Destiel implications of it all, I don’t even want to know, I’ve had my fill of poor comprehension skills, poor critical thinking, and poor media literacy, oh my god]

Rich saying he was glad Cas’s words meant a lot to queer fans and that he feels it was important and a “bold” move that Bobo and Misha fought for. <3

So that's confirmation from director now, to add to writer intention, both actors, and an EP who greenlight Bobo's pitch for Cas’s testament as romantic. That is canon. That is a lock.

Cas's testament started out carefully padded into an “open to interpretation” zone. We have watched it be eased out of it and into the open.

I’m pleased it's openly acknowledged for what it is...and what I knew it was when the ep aired. I did expect it would be eventually, and would take some time. I’m glad it's here now.

As always, my appreciation for the work Rich, Bobo, Jensen, Misha did on 15.18 <333

[where-dreamers-go]

"Kill This Love" spn Gabriel x Reader

(A/N: Look what I found in my notebook from about five months ago. The idea is written in pink mainly and some is in the margin in black in the beginning… Reader was put under a dangerous spell that forced them to have a fierce goal of killing Dean, Sam, Castiel, and anyone who got in their way. Warnings: canon violence, guns, angst, use of (Y/N), a dagger, mention of a wound (not descriptive). Word Count: 963 words)

~~~

It had snuck up on you. There had been no signs to alert you ahead of time.

Forced under a dangerous spell. A fierce drive to end Dean, Sam, Castiel, and anyone who got in your way. The perfect spell to put on a hunter.

The group hadn’t seen you in a few weeks. So none of them expected even your presence. Your last hunt was successful, but someone saw an opportunity.

Someone unknown and immediately on my list, you thought.

You entered the bunker in a raged trance. A handgun at the ready.

A bunker was hardly useful if its inhabitants were caught vulnerable, all safe, and relaxed.

Sam glanced up in surprise while setting the table for lunch. Any smile disappeared.

BANG!

“Ah! What—?” Sam dove behind the counter. Bullet in his leg.

You were lucky to have not aimed at a vital organ. Yet your legs continued you forward.

Dean came running in, weapon drawn, from the shot fired and Sam’s shouting. He was extremely shocked to see you.

You proceeded to unload the rest of the round trying to hit Dean.

Why don’t they get out of here? Trick me into a room!

The brothers’ attempts to reason with you fell through. You could listen all you wanted, but the struggle inside continued. You reloaded in a moment.

You wanted blood.

All the while they tried to get the upper-hand. Predictable.

Do something different!

Dean made an urgent call to Castiel as soon as Sam tackled you to the ground in an attempt to restrain you. The tall Winchester moved fast.

You hoped he was strong enough. You hoped they all were.

Castiel popped in while trying to assess the situation. Hearing as your mind watched on as your body attacked your friends. You were straining to take back control.

You bit Sam’s clothed arm. He backed off enough and your fist made contact with his wound.

Castiel moved in to intervene just as you pulled an angel blade out from your layers of clothing.

In a crouch, your expression was hardly your own.

“If you can not stop yourself, I will,” Castiel warned.

“Snap out of it!” Dean urged.

You eyed between the three of them.

Dean walked closer.

“Listen, (Y/N),” Sam said clearly. “Things will get bad—painful—you don’t want to do this. You can stop.”

Castiel and Dean stepped closer.

Of course I want to stop! I WANT THIS TO ALL STOP! I need help, please!

“We can help you,” said Dean.

Your grip on the angel blade only tightened. Fear of the pain to come didn’t stop you from targeting Sam again, him and his disadvantage you inflicted.

Curses echoed through the room.

To your horror, you were striking at Sam. Your friend dodged your attacks with experienced turns.

Kicking low, you made contact with his knee and lunged forward.

Contact wasn’t made.

Sam was unharmed.

Yet the spell over you was not yet broken. Your arms were in a vice grip. Blade unmoving in your hold.

“Easy.” Gabriel’s voice whispered from behind you. “Just give me a second, cupc—.”

In a small bound, you locked your legs around one of the archangel’s legs and pulled him down in a tumble of limbs.

No! Do something. Get the blade away! Hurry!

The two of you struggled. Only Gabriel was on defense, for the sake of you both.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Gabriel yanked the blade away from you before tossing it out of reach.

Your body couldn’t wiggle out nor break any holds.

Gabriel snapped his fingers.

Tension washed away from your limbs.

You inhaled audibly.

It was over.

You fell into Gabriel’s chest, no longer resisting and attacking. Letting him take your weight as he sat up.

“I gotcha’,” Gabriel whispered.

Testing the movement in your fingers, you focused on your own breathing. Control was back and any thought otherwise unnerved you.

I never want that to happen again, you thought.

Gabriel rubbed a circle on your knee in comfort.

“(Y/N)?” Sam called. “Hey.”

You blinked and your heart sank.

“You good?” Dean asked, gun still in hand.

“I’m so sorry.” You finally spoke. Tears pooled in your eyes. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Hey, it wasn’t on purpose.” Sam reasoned.

“That doesn’t make it any better. It could’ve been so much worse.”

“Do you know who put the spell on you?” Castiel questioned.

The brothers looked to him pointedly.

“That’s what was going on?” Dean lowered his weapon.

“I don’t know who did it.” You admitted. “But I’ll gladly pay them a visit for what they made me do. I’m so sorry, guys.” Your gaze lowered to Sam’s leg.

Crap.

“Gabe,” you pointed to Sam.

“On it.” He stood up and walked to the Winchester. “Just a second,” he knelt down, “don’t get any ideas.” He winked.

“Sure.” Sam said, not much in a joking mood.

After Sam was healed, you debriefed the group on your actions for the last two weeks and your last hunt. All in order try to find clues of who did it.

“Thank you for helping.” You rested your hand on Gabriel’s as you both sat in the library. “Also, sorry for the ground wrestling death match.”

“You asked for help. I’m not going to leave you hanging…or trying to literally obliterate your friends. Your wrestling could be better.”

“But I don’t know how many apologizes can make up for that. I could have hurt you. I already owe the Winchesters for the surprise visit.”

“I accept dessert and a movie.” Gabriel said simply.

“No dinner?”

“Nope.”

You nodded. “Fair enough. I can buy that chocolate pie I’ve been eyeing.”

“Good to know you still have good taste.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

~~~

(A/N: If you love my writings and want to support me, I have a Ko-Fi where you can buy me a coffee. I would be eternally grateful. coffee

Best wishes and happy reading.)

~~~~~

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[riverstixxelf]

I love the SPN fandom but honestly it’s so stressful sometimes 😭

For example earlier today I googled “Misha Collins girlfriend” because I heard a rumor that he has a girlfriend, I couldn’t find much besides stuff talking about Vicky so I scrolled down and saw a tumblr post saying something about Misha being attracted to men (which I don’t necessarily disagree with, but I don’t want to tell another person what they are) and women so I clicked on it and it was a huge post (like, a couple paragraphs) talking about some strange things. I don’t remember exactly but at one point the user brought up the “fact” that Misha makes jokes about women and sex?? As in making jokes at the expense of women… and I was like… are we talking about the same Misha here? He DOES make jokes about sex but I don’t recall him ever making jokes at the expense of women. Only thing I can think of is that one story about one of his earlier acting jobs and he didn’t know the “no tongue rule” but that was mostly at the expense of himself. Then I scrolled and found another post that was pretty disturbing…

Someone had screenshotted a regular instagram caption that Jensen posted just talking about how he just got done traveling, he wanted to take a nap, something like that—nothing sexual about the post at all or anything that would suggest that—and someone captioned it with something talking about him and Misha rubbing their [babymakers] together??? I audibly laughed out loud because wtf 😭😭

I don’t want to shame Jenmish shippers (I say Jenmish because Cockles is just a… very interesting name), even though I think it’s the slightest bit strange to be shipping real people… but again I never want to put anyone down for anything because I myself have said some stuff about Jensen and Misha that might suggest something between them.

Another thing is just the amount of hate for various cast members. Mostly the hate I see is for Jared and Misha; J2 fans who hate Misha, Jenmish fans who hate Jared, etc. There’s a lot of love in this fandom but ohmygOD there’s so much hate too. I guess that’s true for any fandom, but it’s so tiring sometimes.

Also, in this fandom, you’ll get hounded for any opinion you have. If you don’t like destiel, you’re homophobic. If you do like destiel, you’re also homophobic for some reason because queer bating or whatever… for the record i’d like to state that I am a proud destiel shipper just fyi. But I see so many people take it to the extreme, make little things into big things or something along those lines. Same thing with cockles shippers I was talking about earlier. I feel like I have a pretty neutral viewpoint on stuff regarding destiel; I see most things how they are, and I make my assumptions based on CANON things. I don’t say “Dean and Cas are definitely fucking”, I say “Dean and Cas love eachother but they cant express it, because Cas wasn’t even sure what love was and Dean’s highest ideal of love is family, which is why he says Cas is like a brother to him”. Now, if you don’t agree with me, guess what… that’s okay! If you don’t think destiel exists, that’s a valid point, and i’m not gonna dox you just because you have a different opinion than me. Because that’s just it, it’s an OPINION.

I could get into Sam haters and Dean haters and stuff… but I’m tired. Actually, you know what, screw it. I WILL GET INTO IT!!!

I’ve had a few experiences with Dean haters especially, and most of the time they just ADORE Sam and thinks he’s done nothing wrong. Let me clarify that I don’t hate Sam- like- at all. Then again, Dean haters who happen to be Sam stans have warped my view on Sam a little, but I won’t let that get in my way of honest judgment.

Sam. has. done. bad. stuff. DEAN. has. done. bad. stuff. Please don’t compare their trauma, they both have their own issues, one isn’t better than the other.

I might be biased because I relate to Dean so much (like a crazy amount it’s not even funny…), but for the millionth time in a row I DO NOT HATE SAM. I saw someone saying how Dean was the cause of almost every single world-ending event that happened in SPN… like honey no. Another person replied to their comment listing all of the world-ending events… and guess what… Sam was the cause of most of them!! Does that make him a hate-worthy character? No!!

I don’t know what point i’m trying to make here. I just think there’s so much in-fighting within the SPN fandom and as much as I love being in the fandom sometimes you just gotta have a break from all the drama. If you made it this far… go outside or something don’t pay attention to me i’m chronically online.