#what even are humans

[madcaphat]

Stabby the space roomba with its flock of Stablets traversing a ship on its annual revolution to scan for changes in the ships structure becoming a holiday and the Stablets each getting decorated by a different department. Ships send videos of their Stabby day parade and brag about their ships "flock" achievements.

"COMMANDER Stabbys engineering department Stablet has just taken the rank of head engineer after getting in a sneak attack with a mounted toothpick during coffee break. We're all so proud"

Brags get a little out of hand. Stabby day begins to be celebrated beyond just one fleet. Flags are made, people take half days at work to watch the parade. Aliens are more confused than ever.

[1asbrightasthestars3]

Anyone else suddenly gains awareness and then gets the all consuming urge to learn as much history they can?

Like what do you mean there are JOBS and CLOTHES and SHOES and PHONES???? WHAT THE FUCK ARE PHONES

YOU'RE TELLING ME I CAN HEAR YOU THROUGH A METAL BOX WITH A SCREEN???

Sorcery. Black magic.

You're saying everyone gets a chance for careers that they actually want?? And the world is still this bigoted???

Hold up I need to read about EVERYTHING from the dawn of time up until this point because what the fuck.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Susie meets the friendly yellow rabbit in FNAF..

[youngrevolution]

I just.. I.. listen:

When you are crying and your nose is running- that's not snort. Those are TEARS!

YOU CRY THROUGH YOUR NOSE

[lotus-pear]

he's so crazy we can't take him anywhere 😭🤣

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[egophiliac]

2025 is the year of the DRAGON SLIPPERS

[where-that-old-train-goes]

not normal about orpheus and eurydice. you loved someone so much it opened the stones of the underworld. so much that death had to listen. so much that everything stopped for your love. so much that you turned around. so much that even when you did wrong. she forgave you.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)

im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in

[madcaphat]

On a ship that hosts a Stabby, the space roomba that is well adored, a new crew member is taken on. This alien sheds like a Christmas tree losing needles on the way out of the house in January. Of course, stabby begins diligently following the mess.

Which leads to a surprisingly warm welcome from the crew who exclaim "well if stabby likes you you must be ok. "

The alien is bamboozled but grateful to be accepted by the crew so quickly.

A few key members of the crew are suddenly very jealous that Stabby has a favorite. The engineers order a few Stablets to follow this alien around and allow stabby to return to its normal course so the rest of the crew stop causing an upheaval of leaving crumbs out to lure Stabby into their department.

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP idea: To Be Human Again

Danny had not been human for a long time. His home dimension had long since fallen. He lost his friends and family to old age, watched their descendants rise and fall in the same way, and witnessed his Earth come to an end.

When the cosmos erupted and took the solar system he knew and loved, Danny was oddly at peace with the end. He was no longer a Halfa but a full Spirit of the Stars. Solar flares ran through his veins rather than blood, stardust decorated his skin in gently kissed freckles, and his eyes held the swirling clouds of the cosmos.

Danny had not become a ghost. He had transformed into an Ancient, commanding the prophecies, fates, and endless opportunities that all living beings could experience in their lifetimes.

He flouted through his domain, witnessing battles between Lords of Choas and Order. Planets gain life and break apart. Endless time stretching from the graveities he weaves to flouting stones.

As time passes, his name begins to fade into legends and myths, and even the ghosts that once battled with him forget their time together. They, too, can age at a much slower rate, but change comes for them. He is present for Box Lunch's birth, but when he leaves to create light in the darkness, he misses her growing up. When he returns, Box Lunch does not know him, trembling in place as she bows low like her parents.

He stares at her, wondering what he found wrong with her, until he realizes she is a young adult. Were it not for his once evil timeline, he wouldn't have known her child form. He had missed it.

His gaze falls onto the much older pair of ghosts who call him by his new title. Neither Box Ghost nor Lunch Lady show any signs of remembering his name. They greet him with his title, and act as if though that is his identifier.

How many eons had it been since he last heard someone call him Phantom? Or even Danny?

"Lord Star Weaver?" Box Lunch stammers when the giant being only continues to stare. "Is something the matter?"

"Hmm," he considers her question, wondering if his realizations upset him. It's not that he was lonely or that he missed the sound of his name. But he has spent eons in a haze focusing on his work, and now it's almost as if he was waking from a dream.

Dreams....what did those feel like again?

"Tell me, Box Lunch, are there any portals to any living Earths?" His voice booms over the Realms, echoing as if they were a part of him. Maybe they were.

Danny had not sat on his throne since his elder sister breathed her last, but he still remembered the way the Infinite Realms changed on his whims. It's where he learned to weave stars. The young woman's ghost looked startled before she gestured vaguely to a path behind her.

"Yes, sir. I regularly use the anchored portal to visit the local Earth. It's where my father was born before his death."

Danny looks down at Box Ghost before leaning toward Box Lunch's height. She is no bigger than his pupils, and she seems frozen in terror as his eyes glow with hunger. "Show me," he says.

Her parents make strangling noises, but they wouldn't dare speak against the King and Ancient of creation. They send their daughter worried tight smiles but encourage her to lead the Star Waver to the portal.

She flights for a solid hour, his large form sending every ghost into hiding as he passes. Despite not having a living heart, he knows that it beats a mile a minute within her chest as her glow flickers in uncertainty.

They arrive at the portal, a swirling green pool resting in the open mouth of a mechanical jester. Danny thinks it looks like the building of an amusement park. He remember going to one once with Sam. This had been the Funhouse, filled to the brim with trick mirrors.

The memory causes him to smile.

Lunch Box nervously moves her hands one after another, bowing at the waist and stepping to the side so Danny can consider the portal. He is much larger than the building and doubts his foot would fit inside the portal.

He should change his form.

"Here it is, Lord Star Weaver, the portal to the human-AGHHHH!" Box Lunch's words fade into a scream as two bright rings of light form around the Ancient. Fearing she had offended the being and he was planning on retaliating, she flings herself to the ground before the portal, begging for her existence.

"I will do anything!" She cries, head pressing against the glowing green stone underneath her. "Mercy, please, Lord Star Weaver."

"Anything? Then you shall be my guide in the new Earth, " a human voice says. Shocked, she raises her head only to see that the Ancient has vanished and that a human teenager with soft fluffy hair, big baby blue eyes, and the most innocent demeanor is staring back at her.

Were it not for the soul she could feel carefully folded up inside him, she would have thought him a human who stumbled through the portal.

"My....Lord?" she dares to ask, and she's rewarded with a soft smile. Honestly, the human body the Star Weaver has chosen is an odd one. It looks like a strong gust of wind could knock him over.

"Yes. Where does this portal lead?"

"Gotham," She shutters out, "The city within the United States of Earth. This portal is in te middle of a human outlaw named Joker, but humans there aren't able to see us very well so he never bothers me."

"Gotham" Danny rolls the name on his human tongue, tasting it as the sound vibrates through his bones and his heart. It's been so long since he last felt this alive, and if that was what the name could do, who knows what the city could bring him. "What a wonderful place to get lost in, don't you agree, big sister?"

"Um...I beg your pardon?" Lunch Box blinks, but he shifts her fate with a snap of his fingers. Since she had never been alive, having been a Realms born, Danny has control of her guiding star. He moved it for one that belonged to a version of herself born in the human world.

Lunch Box's body shifts into flesh and blood. Her draw drops as she stares at her human hands. Danny grins. "I'm Danny Fenotn, moving to Gotham with my older sister. Adopted, of course. Who might you be?"

She looks at him with horror and heartbreak, but what leaves her mouth is only three words: "I'm Della Fenton."

"Della." He repeats the name, nodding his head and smiling. "It's lovely."

"It was my mother's Earth name before her death, " she says in a daze, and Danny smiles, striding into the portal without a second glance.

"Come on, Della, I want to see our new home."

He steps into the portal, while she can only look out over the Realms that no longer whisper and speak to her. How could it? She was no longer a ghost. She silently apologizes to her parents, who would likely be waiting at their haunt for her, and turns away from the only home she's ever known.

She can not afford to anger the Star Weaver. If he can breathe life into her with a mere snap of her fingers, she fears what he can do to take it away.

On the other side of the portal Della finds that her King has been caught by humans, who have tied him up to a chair and a snickering clown waved a knife in his face.

His gentle smile did not leave his face even as the Joker sliced two thin lines on his cheek.

"Della" Danny calls never taking his eyes off the clown. "Is this the outlaw you spoke of?"

Human goons swarm her. She is shocked to find that they can touch her as she is thrown on the ground, only to remember she is now human. The dull ache in her chin is her new reality.

"Yes. That's the Joker," She says after getting her wits about her. One of the goons presses the heel of his foot on top of her head, slamming her back to the ground and breaking her nose. A scatter of snickers echoes through the room as Joker loudly cackles.

"That's right, little boy. I'm the Joker, and this is my Fun House. What were you two doing sneaking about here uninvited?"

There are teeth in the Star Weaver's answer, and she shivers in place, wondering how she will survive him. "Oh, I just felt like star gazing. Say, did you know your guiding star is becoming dim?"

[nova-rpv]

a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)

[blueberryflavoredfeelings]

does the bbc even understand how much money they’d make if the made a Disney Enchanted 2007 style Merlin sequel where Merlin has been alive, moving from place to place, magicking himself young and aging then moving and magicking himself younger and aging then moving and suddenly Arthur pops out of a lake, completely unaware of current events and is walking around demanding his manservant, claiming to be King Arthur Pendragon and he either

a. Gets on the news somehow and Merlin, doing whatever he’s doing now, sees and drops everything because WHAT IS ARTHUR DOING HERE AND ALIVE

b. Meets Merlin who has been working as a detective somewhere -because that’s basically what he did anyway-solving things and helping people, the family business, and Arthur is dragged in, handcuffed, and plopped in an interrogation room or the drunk tank with the cop who found him saying like This wacko thinks he’s some medieval king, go deal with him, and Merlin scoffs and walks in, promptly dropping his files and spilling his coffee when he sees a disheveled and petulant Arthur, who goes Merlin, finally, get me out of here already, will you and Merlin starts crying lmaooo

or c. Meets Merlin who has been working at an ER because, again, he was physician adjacent, and someone drags a wet Arthur in, like Found this, it looks like he might hypothermiate deal with him, and Merlin sees him, drops his files, spills his coffee, and starts crying hahaha

because I’m thinking that’d be fun and probably everyone on tumblr and everyone who knows someone on tumblr would go bonkers over it

[chloesimaginationthings]

The ending of FNAF Help wanted..

[tunemyart]

But regarding the way Rio revealed herself to Lilia

She didn't choose just any old guise, she chose tarot imagery. She chose something specific to Lilia and Lilia's own language as a witch. She didn't appear as Death - Rio is always Death. She appeared as the Death card. Something so soul-deep for Lilia that the recognition would be instantaneous and unquestionable.

I don't think this is Rio's usual garb. I think she has a lot of control over how she chooses to present, and I think most of the time she probably looks like Aubrey Plaza. She's just Rio. She's a woman. She's the oldest, original green witch. That just also happens to mean that she's Death.