#what else could you have done
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Jujutsu Kaisen Observation #4:
i do not like how well i can understand Mai. geez.
#imagine giving everything you have and doing your best to break past barriers that you dont know HOW to break#seeing other people do what you're ALWAYS short of doing no matter how hard you try must feel like a personal fault and punishment#especially when you dont feel like theyre working HALF as hard as you. not you: who is ALWAYS struggling#not you: who digs your fingers in the dirt and drags your own body forward like dead weight#not you: who has NEVER taken a break NEVER made an excuse and still the blame for your weakness crashes down on you anyway#not you: with SO MUCH POTENTIAL all this power bubbling underneath your skin and NO WAY TO LET IT OUT#and it stays and it stays and it boils you alive#and you hate yourself for letting it but what else could you have done?#what else could you have done#and the only thing you can do is let go but how can Mai let go? shes a kid. shes hopeful. shes hurt. shes angry.#she wants to go home. she wants to HAVE a home.#what else is she supposed to do? how can she ever ever let go?#that would never be peace for her. it would be death.#fork big brain moment. i think me and gege just synchronized for one magical second#so like. yeah. i get how having that person ALSO be the ONLY one you could look up to and the one who always kept YOU the weakling safe#could just. lead to a seething mass of raw and tangled emotions. and its so- so PERSONAL.#thats the kind of thing that doesnt ever just go away. no matter how much time passes.#ugh. i knew i would end up sympathizing with mai. and shes such an a-hole too. *silently sheds a tear for meself*#and the self-pitying thing shes got going on. and the helplessness. always so forking helpless.#you rage in an effort to change and look. youre still exactly where you started. you'll never be anything but this. pathetic.#OUGH#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk thoughts#Jujutsu Kaisen Observations#Observation Series#Im gonna make this a Thing#for the amusement of absolutely no one by myself#i must derive pleasure from something okay I Am Going Insane
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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Someone I am not
#silver the hedgehog#satbk galahad#satbk#silver#galahad#sonic and the black knight#satbk sir galahad#sth#sth fanart#sonic fanart#my art#doodles#hi. been working on this off an on for the past couple. months? anyways#<3#something about being haunted about who you are or could have been#are they you? would they have done things differently if they were in your position? would things have ended up exactly the same#are you jealous. sad. horrified by someone who is you but transformed and mirrored so many times they are someone else entirely#would you be kind to them. give them comfort that you either know you need or wish you had#what would you around someone you think you know. do you even know yourself? maybe not entirely. not anymore#anyways enjoy the painting <3
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i literally do not care about big emergencies on abc's 911. i want to see my characters talk to each other and have stories that are parallels to small, everyday (everyday for first responders) emergencies
#why must everything be such a big ass event#okay yes it makes sense for a season premiere (tsunami my beloved <33)#and they sometimes slay at the end of a season (sniper arc <33)#but god other than that i literally do not care!!!!#bc they are bad#im not even sorry but the ebola 2.0 story is just not interesting to me#i would never rewatch it even if it gave us buck athena doing crime and chobby moments that make me scream and my beautiful boy ravi#like i care about the characters!!!!!#idgaf about anything else tbh#thats why i watch this show bc i love (almost) every character on this show and i want to learn more about them and see them in situations#so many recent episodes have zero rewatchability to me bc tim is out here trying to do some crazy ass thing that ends up not being executed#well or sacrifices character development#and like man what are you doing???#making episode long arcs that are still focused on the mains and not just doing shit for the sake of doing shit is possible and has been#done on 911 before#pls#tim pls i want my characters to have satisfying development and arcs i dont need to see a 4 minute long helicopter chase or your poorly#written versions of movies you like#either start cooking up good mass events again (see: earthquake tsunami sniper) or just stopppp doing them pls#sorry i saw tims interview where he said there's gonna be another mass casualty event at the end of 8 and i just know its not gonna be it#like some of these episodes this man has been writing have so few good character moments/interactions that im like.#why did i even watch the episode i could have gotten all i wanted from gifs on tumbler dot com and wouldnt have had to watch 40 minutes of#poorly written everything else#anyway i love everyone who works on 911 abc (excluding tim) they are beautiful and hardworking and put up with that bald mans delusionals#and ofc i love all my beautiful mains you are the reason i watch this show i cannot imagine 911 without my beloved firefam
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Varric: But being a leader isn't about having all the answers yourself: It's about knowing who does.
See, this is why I really don't understand those posts whining about how Rook isn't the coolest member of the Veilguard and everyone else has much more useful skills and whatnot. Rook may not necessarily be the fastest or strongest or smartest member of the team, but what they do have is the ability to make plans, improvise when those plans go wrong, inspire their allies, earn their trust and love, encourage them to work together and put aside their differences, and use each one of them to the fullest extent of their abilities to further the team's goals. A leader doesn't have to have all the answers or be the best fighter or have the most interesting and detailed backstory (hell, you really don't want that last point for the PC of an RPG), they have to be able to lead. The best fighter or cleverest trickster in the world is useless in a position of authority if they can't use that authority effectively without alienating their allies. And Rook ultimately is able to lead, probably better than anyone else on the team could, because that's where their skillset lies. People really need to get rid of this idea that the role of The Leader automatically goes to whoever's "coolest". It's not a reward, it's an incredibly demanding job that for best results has to go to whoever is best suited to carry it out. Rook doesn't have the flashiest skills, but they do have the skills required to lead well and win loyalty, and for the leader of a team like this that is infinitely more important.
#dragon age veilguard#rook doesn't have to be the best fighter or the smartest inventor or have the coolest backstory#their job within the team is to keep everyone else on track. they give the orders. they mediate arguments. they INSPIRE their team#that's not something anyone else on this team could do as well as rook does. and even if they could they wouldn't have TIME#leading a team like this is a full-time job and they all have other duties as part of the team. which is also why rook is JUST the leader#side note i like the inspiration angle much better here than in dai#in dai you're an inspiration because the andrastians told everyone you were sent by andraste#in dav you're an inspiration because what you DO. you push your team to do whatever it takes not because you're In Charge#but because they know you'd do the same and HAVE done the same at every turn for them and for your goals
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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MiqoMarch Day 11 - Loss
#dawntrail spoilers#ffxiv#miqomarch#miqomarch2025#g'raha tia#arsay nun#wolgraha#dawntrail#ffxiv spoilers#oof this was a doozy to write and pose but i got through it 😭#i was going to expand on the bird metaphor initially but then I remembered that Arsay doesnt really do that. she just says shit#so you the viewer gets to decide what she means#I feel like its been a while since I've shown Arsay lifting her partner up in a conversation#shes been real baby since endwalker so its usually her who needed the support#im glad DT gave me a moment for Arsay to show her inspiring side now that shes gone through endwalker character development#were it any other character she would have said nothing tbh These are feelings she could only reveal to raha and shtola#so many people have done amazing takes on this scene and their wols replies i really hope this doesnt come off as reductive#or accidentally copying someone else#this part really hit me when I was playing because of irl reasons but even still i knew in the moment arsay would fight grahas doubt#because she believes so much in him and his kind soul. And shes seen it in action too. she sees a distinction between his actions-#- and that of others who claimed to do things for the good of their people#tbh arsay does kinda fall into the camp of 'would rather die than have to mourn another loved one' at this point#but if it came down to it I dont think shed be able to do anything but keep living- shes stronger than she believes herself to be
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#.....i don't think this is spoilers considering everything else i've ever done on this tumblr and jess i'm sorry if this was a secret but:#WE'RE BACK BABY#and also:#pray for me#YA GIRL IS ALREADY TIRED#(what you can't see on this schedule is my 8-5 day job)#(or the 10+ hour/week evening/weekend nonprofit job)#someone send coffee and also possibly a time machine#also ALSO i did have a solo recording in late july#but it's different to record with other people!!#i had a moment today where i could FEEL arkady's reaction happening to another character and it was great#i have missed working with my rumor crew a whole heck of a lot#tscosi#ishani speaks
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My mother doesn't hug me. she doesn't know what to do with me.




my father has the kind of anger all fathers do; loud and terrible. it lingers for your whole life.




you robbed me of my life. i could’ve been human, i could've been alive, but you took my heart and you murdered it. you made me into this.
the blood on my face didn't make me brave, it only made me hurt. i was full of rage and he didn't ask why. he didn't even notice.


i have a very childlike rage, a childlike loneliness.
You are allowed to grieve over the child you could've been.
#it always haunts me that the wishes his parent's friends had for him was that he wouldn't be put in the car at a young age#and still it happened and he was robbed of a childhood#he could not dream anything else but what his father has made him to#and isn't that a tragedy?#a murder of his present self#and a murder of what he could have been#done by the very hands that should have cared for him#jos verstappen#when i find you jos.#credits to @/lealu for the sophie kumpen quote!#max verstappen#formula 1#web weaving#web weave
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I fear Kevin Day is the type of person whose struggle always came second. He funcioned enough that while everyone knew he wasn't alright, it was also nobody's problem, as someone else was actively having a harder time and they took precedence. He internalises all his problems and keeps going and going but he is fueled by alchool and sheer desperation a 100% of the time. If he were to stop for even a second he wouldn't know how to start again.
Did he ever, at somepoint in his life -away from the ex foxes, a pro player, married to Thea- wish he had it worse, just so that maybe it would have been his turn being saved? Being first? How badly would he feel, just one second after thinking it, because he knows damn well he has enough trauma to fill a stadium and he isn't actually jealous of his friends that had it worse, he isn't . That's a fucked up thing to think, stop it, stop it.
Would he still drink himself into a stupor to shoote the ache, to banish the thought? That's the help he got, when he was at his worst, a drink, and then two, and then a thousand. And it worked, it made him go, it picked him up when he was down, and now he can't get down without crashing.
Did he wish to be saved? Did he hope somebody, anybody, took the time and put in the effort to help him, just because they saw him down, not because he begged, but because they noticed he could use a hand. Or two, actually. Was it torment, to always be under the spotlight, yet never been seen? Did he run toward fame hoping the more eyes on him meant it would be easier to be noticed?
#this spurred from a series of posts about kevin always fumbling the men in his life#and yeah. he really is always second place#he supposedly ends up with thea which. what the fuck.#to me that alone speaks volumes about how out of everyone in aftg he is the one that starts and end basically at the same level of struggle#this is also about the part in the EC where he talks to wymack about Bee#and look i love bee and Andrews’s relationship he really does deserve her#but kevin is right to say that she is his and he can't have her#they text each other#kevin needs and deserves to have his own therapist#someone that is his alone#it breaks my heart to think about this boy#he wont even ask for it#he says: she's Andrew's#and that's it to him#it is true and unchangeable and nothing can be done ablut it#and never thinks okay maybe someone else could be to me what she is to him#and no one else says it either#im sleep deprived this is killing me i had to get it out#kevin day#you deserve the world#nobody even wanted to listen to you talk about history#you are easier to deal with when drunk#you don't have to words nor will to fight them on either of these fronts#you ask once and when you are denied you neverask again dont you#aftg#these are the types of people that end up killing themselves and everyone is surprised at first and then goes...oh yeah he had a hard time#but we couldn't imagine it was that bad#we wish he told us
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Of all the themes in Mouthwashing, I think the themes of punishment and virtue are the most subtle.
It’s so odd because it’s a subversion where all the characters are punished for their virtues more than their flaws except Jimmy. Curly sees the best and people and tries to do right by all parties whether deserving or not. He is then forced to see everyone fall to their worst states while he can’t do anything. Daisuke is optimistic and hopeful, playful to a fault and a big morale. He dies in agony the one time he is forced to act in a serious event. Anya is kind and capable, knowledgeable in her field. Yet, she is treated like a dunce and does being treated like a dead weight.
The only characters who aren’t punished per se are those without direct virtues. Swansea is ornery and rude the moment we meet him, Jimmy is self explanatory. Yet, Swansea is still punished with Daisuke’s death, while Jimmy escapes in a way. Not having to face the final aftermath or even acknowledging how he could never really fix it. He suffers and is tormented, but he doesn’t really care because in his mind he didn’t fail in his head of proving something to Curly.
This is rambling y really but it really is the theme of no good deed but to the extreme. Good people punished for their attempts at virtue while the bad person victimizes themself over their suffering.
#I mainly think of this because I started seeing so many posts blaming curly for not stopping Jimmy and leading to this#but that’s the exact thing Jimmy would want in the end where he skirts direct blame behind everyone else#however it was Jimmy who started it all he freaked out first#he assaulted Anya and stiff armed all attempts at taking accountability from Curly or being presented with his actions#he goes unpunished and still other than having hate pieces written about him he skirts it in fan discussions#like it’s so hard to explain it without sounding like no one could have done anything but they shouldn’t have had to do something#because Jimmy shouldn’t have done what he did at any point and while others had a responsibility to negate it is only his fault it occurred#tdlr don’t let Jimmy skirt most of the blame#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#Mouthwashing game#like this is a scenario where you would be punished for doing the right thing considering the context and I wonder if that’s intentional#Jimmy really is the one bad apple that spoils the bunch
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WASHING MACHINE HEART | sauron & galadriel
It’s always the same: the worm; the raft; the storm. Halbrand.
based off the time-looping one-shot "Ouroboros" by @amuria on ao3.
#haladriel#saurondriel#sauron x galadriel#trop#the rings of power#ouroboros#what else to tag hm#thatbluebox edits#anyways this FIC#LET ME TELLL YOU SOMETHING#consumed my brain#made this in days i just HAD to get it my feelings out there#ITS SO?#CHEFS KISS#changed my brain chemistry#truly wish i could have done more re: the ending but lack of footage vs imagination#i think tumblr is pretty good at being on top of fics but pls everyone READ IT#@ amuria thank you for the gift which is this fic
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hey do you guys remember when nbc cancelled hannibal after three seasons even though the creator said he had a seven season plan and due to circumstances no other network could/would pick it up but the fandom continued to thrive and due to their continued support and the love the creative team still has for the project there's still talk about a season 4 revival almost ten years later?
anyway just something to think about
#tv: our flag means death#ofmd#for all we know max could go under next month and have to sell off all their properties for cheap ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#we simply have no idea what the future holds#and even if nothing else ever happens officially you have this fandom until you decide to be done with it#fandoms don't die man none of them do
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okay no see the thing that made me really, really sad about hinata and the thing that made me really, really root for him and love him and want to see him win it all was how, like, people kept DENYING him. and i'm not talking about spectators in the stands going "omg he's so short haha, can he really do anything?" i'm talking about how his own team and how everyone who knew them in some way - as much as i love them - could never really separate him from kageyama. they were the freak quick duo, karasuno's number nine and number ten. they were amazing! so brilliant, the two of them. and hinata thought it was a way out, at first. he thought it was a way over the summit. he thought it was the key to being someone better.
but a key goes both ways, you know. it can lock you up just as much as it can set you free.
and hinata had to be so, so frustrated. everyone was finding ways to move forward except him. everyone expected him to stay stuck. and you could argue that that's not entirely true, sure, that he was always training, always trying to catch up, and they encouraged that. but nobody ever expected him to be more. nobody ever expected him to go beyond what he had with kageyama - they all thought that was enough for hinata. they thought he was fine like that because it worked for the rest of them. they underestimated how much he wanted to be capable. they didn't get how much he wanted to stand on his own two feet.
and that wasn't fair to hinata! it wasn't fair that hinata, who loved to play and loved the game and loved volleyball so so much, was the only one being left behind! he wanted to change that but nobody was trying with him!!! so of course he got impatient!! of course he was reckless!!! of course he was carving his own opportunities!!! there was no way forward otherwise!!! because if we take a minute to think about how training would have gone while kageyama was at tokyo, let's be honest — it probably wouldn't have gone well. nobody else can do with hinata what kageyama could do with him. hinata would have been held back. he would have felt useless. practicing serves and receives was stuff he was already doing constantly before that, and it wasn't teaching him anything. yeah hinata was a little bit selfish and a little bit shameless but being so finally got him somewhere!!
all hinata ever wanted to do was fly, even if it meant straying from the flock to do so
#anyways lesson learned: when you've exhausted all other options then just fucking go for it#what's the worst that could happen#you either get shit done or you don't#ball boy arc is sooooo important and i hate when ppl treat it like hinata was just being stupid#he was FED UP!!!#washijo sure as hell wasn't going to let him prove anything so he had to do it himself#and hinata actually showed a LOT of restraint for how he actually is imo#he accepted washijo's decision so easily. i think he knew in a way. that he wouldn't have been accepted#but he had to try SOMETHING bc he wasn't getting anywhere with everyone else!!!!#and my heart breaks whenever i think about taking suga taking kageyama's part in the early part of the story#about them not needing to try anything new or do anything risky so close to the tournament#hinata was so fucking shackled and that's why brazil was so good for him#it gave him a chance to grow into himself#ALSO EVERYONE KEEPS ACTING SURPRISED WHEN HE GETS BETTER AND BETTER WHEN THAT'S ALL HE EVER WANTED HELLO#hinata shouyou#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu meta#sou says stuff
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Idk about you but one of my favorite things about Lottienat is them absolutely keeping life and work separate until they cant anymore. They might be absolutely opposing each others philosophies and everything the other stands for at day but the moment theyre alone they act like nothing is wrong. Lottie can hurt nat so much with the decisions she makes as the prophet and nat can hurt her just as much with the decision she makes as antler queen/ hunter but the moment theyre given privacy none of it matters. No, it dosent mean that the decisions they make arent actually hurting the other. No, they dont discuss it. Theres a huge gap between how they fulfill their roles in the team and how they treat each other when theyre apart from the team, and its absolutely toxic and hurting them and killing them both a little from the inside. And no, they dont discuss it unless they absolutely have too, and no, the way they act in each scenario is not pretend. And they will only stop to bring their feelings towards each other into the way they fulfil their roles in the team if the other is in actual danger.
This is why nat being the antelr queen didnt work out- it put them on the same side, and theyre doomed to always be enemies by day and lovers by night.

(help i actually hit 30 tags😭😭😭)
#also nat and travis are the opposite btw.#theyre on the same side when they fulfil their roles but they cant ever actually make it work out when theyre not.#food for thought#is that how you spell it#idk man#lottienat#lottie matthews#nat scatorccio#natalie scatorccio#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#ig?#havent actually watched ep 5+6 yet bc ep 4 left me so uninterested in what happens next#but ik what happens in ep 6#so yeah#is anyone else bitter we didnt actually get to see feral nat as the antelr queen?#i guess it makes sense because nat as a character is always fighting against something and when shes in power she has nothing to fight#but I also feel like there was an undelivered promise made#the ending of s2 definitely felt like a setup for nat to lose all of her morals#which could make the whole ben storyline more heartbreaking because it would be her coming back to her morals#i think this whole season would work out better if we would get to see nat truly be a cruel heartless hunter/ leader for a while#but ig we all can headcanon what happened in winter#Also why is Lottie literally so background this season#like i get giving other characters the spotlight for a while#but like... it would help if she was more involved#i also kinda feel like my girl shuane is being done dirty#because#her whole point as a character is having her be feral but no one knowing it#i think it would be better if she rose to powrr by manipulating people instead of just using brute force#be more in character and more interesting
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Can't believe I've been receiving Anon Hate over my OC that I ship with Snake... what is this, 2014? Hello? Haven't we all moved past the need to send anon hate overall?
#not art#text post#(i received yet another one which is why im posting this but its been going on for a while)#it's very silly cuz this is very obviously just one (1) person who - of their own admission - is jealous that i ship my OC with snake#the entirety of the simpsons community has been extremely warm and welcoming and i'm so thankful#even other snake shippers have been supportive or at least kind about it if they were non-sharing!#and then there's this One person.. like why...#you could just block me and move on why are you acting like this... are we children.. whats going on#i'm too old for this man i feel like im getting dragged in a toddler fight. you can keep hitting my shins but like. why would you want to#anyway dw i'm okay its not a few threats & wishing i die alone (lmao) that will get me down but also i'm. genuinely baffled#I'm just doodling my silly stuff in my corner man I haven't done anything to anybody hfhgb#thank god for literally everyone else in the community#i'm so thankful to people who support my art and my OC. seeing people genuinely like Ann fixes any hate i could get thrown my way#it's a good place here and this community is great :] Love all of you <33
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