#what do you mean i STILL have school today?!
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Why make choices that force people to die preventable deaths? That could push or force someone into killing themselves or otherwise dying? Someone's friend, sister, mom, girlfriend, or daughter dying because of a choice you made,does it make you feel good about yourself? Make you feel strong? Indirectly(or directly) causing an someone's death? In the future, do you think people will look back on this, at a time where people are becoming homeless or dying because they are force to have children they can't take care, possibly destroying the parents lives and condemning a child to struggle under the fear of homelessness or unloving and abusive parents, and say "Yes, that was the right thing to do, that was the best choice that could me made in that situation"? Are you really ok with damning a child to suffer through homelessness in a society where the people in power actively work towards homeless lives harder? With sending a child to be forced to live in a loveless household with parents that didn't want them? With allowing children to be abandoned at orphanages or on the street because parents know they can't provide for a child? Is that the world you want to live in? One where men, women, and children are suffering and struggling to just live through the day? And if your regretful about your choices, realize that this was a bad idea, too bad, we're all stuck with consequences of YOUR actions, yours and so many others. But hey, I mean gotta protect those unborn kids right? Forget about the ones who died in school shootings, who killed themselves due to abuse and rape, the ones who are still being bullied and attacked for their skin color, or sexual preference, the ones being demeaned cause of their gender, their not important right? Right? This is what you chose isn't it? You looked at America as it is today with the rise in homeless populations and everything being made harder for them, the people struggling to get by because the people in power only care about the rich, global warming and decided "Yeah, let's make everything harder, why not, what's the worst that could happen". So when someday someone you know and love is hurt or killed by this I want you to look at yourself and know it's your fault, you caused this, and now there's nothing you can be about it.
All in all, go fuck yourself
To the men who voted for Donald Trump today:
When your girlfriend gets pregnant, and you’re not ready to become a father, and you’re forced into a position that cripples you emotionally, financially and irreversibly, remember: you did this.
When your sister’s pregnancy turns out to be ectopic, and she can’t get the life-saving medical care she needs and dies a completely pointless, preventable death, remember: you did this.
When your 12-year-old daughter is raped by her soccer coach — after he’s legally allowed to strip off her pants and peep at her genitals, because the existence of trans kids terrifies you — and she steals your shotgun and kills herself in your garage, remember, first and foremost: you did this.
Hundreds of thousands of people are going to die because of the decision you made today.
You did that.
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KENDRICK DROP ANOTHER DISS TRACK( why ten?) AND MY LIFE IS YOURSSSS!!!
"Are you my son?"
Damian nearly throws himself out the window when he hears his father's voice. It is finally the night for dinner with the Waynes and Clockworks/Fentons. He has been going insane trying to prepare everything for the night, starting from the early hours of four a.m. Now that it is nearly seven p.m., it feels like everything is still out of sorts. He disputes the fact that he has been helping Alfred clean and cook nonstop.
Severant's work. Daniel Fenton has reduced him to doing servant work, and Damian isn't upset. What has he become?
He had been texting Daniel almost all day after their date last night- and wasn't it a shock to find out that he had been at the start of the courtship with his first school friend?- but it did nothing to ease the fear boiling in the pit of his stomach. If anything, the little dig from his phone only made him want tonight to be perfect.
Then, Father had been called away to a Justice League emergency and came back with a concussion. Again.
"No sir, I'm Danny Fenton. Damian's boyfriend." Daniel says in that perfect melodic voice. There is an easy smile on his lips, the same one he wears around the school, like he's laughing at a joke no one else is worthy enough to hear.
Damian is so busy admiring Daniel's confidence that it takes a moment for his words to catch up to him.
"Boyfriend!?" he shouts into his hands, turning away from his friend- boyfriend!?- so he does not see Damian shaking hands and excitedly silently babbling in the air.
He knew that the night before had turned out to be a date, but he never hoped that it would turn out so well. I mean, Damian was less than graceful. Water came out of his nose, he ran into a door, and at one point, he stabbed his gums with his fork because Daniel had smiled at him like he was a piece of cake he wanted to eat instead of the dessert the waiter had brought them.
Damian had been in tears as Daniel helped him hold a napkin to his bleeding mouth.
How Daniel walked away from that, thinking Damian was even remotely attractive, was a miracle in and of itself.
That's why today had to be perfect. Alfred had thankfully been with Damian when he answered the door, whisking away the glaring Mr.Clockwork before the man could intimidate the young Wayne. The butler had led the man into the room where dinner would be served, chatting about his time in the royal army.
Mr. Clockwork's face was without emotion, but Damian sensed he was captivated by the tales nonetheless.
If only the butler had waited a few more seconds, he could have taken Father with them. Instead, the man who dressed up like a bat in his twenties and made that everyone else's problem had stumbled upon the two teenagers as Daniel leaned into Damian's space, his head slightly tilted and his eyes half-lid.
He wasn't sure what the other planned on doing, but Damian just knew it would have changed his whole life had Father not spoken.
Father stumbles his way towards them without any of his usual grace. He must have taken quite the hit. Honestly, it's surprising that Alfred hasn't tried to put him in a medical bed in the Batcave. "Are you sure you're not my son? I should have nine, and I only counted eight up there."
Daniel makes a point to look around the seemingly empty grand hall. Damian is too busy trying to stop his heart from escaping his rib cage to worry about all of Father's brood hiding in the ceiling rafts.
They were making a poor attempt to say hidden, at least for anyone with proper training.
Daniel likely couldn't see them, but Father could despite his injury.
"I'm sure, sir?" Daniel says with a tightness in his voice. Damian glances at his friend and realizes he's regarding his father like one would a man screaming in the street about the world ending. "I'm not your son."
Father squints quickly as a wip throws out a hand and grips Damian's suit jacket. Yes, he wore a suit. He wanted to look nice for Daniel, and nothing looked better than a well-done suit. It didn't matter what Frake or Brown thought.
" What are you-" His words are cut off by the expensive fabric covering his father's chest as the man smoothers him in an embrace.
Right. In. Front. Of. His. Boyfriend.
Damian's face turns a quick red shade that would generally be hard to notice on his tan skin, but that embarrasses him even more. He hates it when he blushes, especially this hard because he looks utterly ridiculous with how quickly it spreads down his neck and to the tip of his ears.
"Father!"
"You're my baby," the man mutters, ignoring his youngest's attempts to get away. He hears a smother of chuckles from the rafts. My little itty baby with his little itty boyfriend. Wait, are you allowed to date? You're so small. You still need a booster seat in the car."
Daniel cackles, and Damian feels like he's dying. "I do not need a booster seat! I know how to drive!"
"I can see where you get your humor from, Beloved." Daniel chuckles, and everyone in the room gasps, including the unwanted audience.
"What did you- am I-did you?!" Damian tries to string a sentence together while pushing against his father's chest. The man's arms were like iron; why was he so strong!" "Me? I'm Beloved!?"
"Yeah, remember, you said that your mom called your dad that, and you wanted to one day have the same nickname when you got into a relationship," Daniel chirps from where he is waiting for the hug to end. "Is that....okay?"
He sounded uncertain, and for some reason, knowing Daniel was just as nervous as him about their new relationship helped Damian be at ease. "Of course! I am honored you even remember that conversation ."
"Bruce!" Richard yells from the grand stairway, having jumped out of his hiding place and pretending to have come from upstairs. "I'm so glad I found you! I need you to let Dami go now and help me with something. Come on!"
"But-"
"Now, Bruce."
In a whirlwind that Richard Grayson can only do, his father was escorted out of the room. The soft thumps of his other siblings leaving went with them, leaving Damian with his Beloved.
Good heavens, Damian had a Beloved.
"I—" Damian starts, only to choke on his spit. Daniel springs forward to pat his back, laughing like an imp, and really, this is the worst. "I apologize this is-"
Soft lips pressed against his. The world came to a standstill, where Damian could focus on nothing but the gentle press against his mouth, the smell of a rainstorm, and the warm hand on his back.
When Daniel pulls back, his lovely skin has turned red, far darker than Damian's, and he isn't looking him in the eye.
Bashfully, his Beloved confesses, "I've never kissed anyone before....was that okay?"
"I do not have a reference to compare it to...." Damian breathes. "But it was the greatest thing to ever happen to me."
In return, he gets a gorgeous smile, and Damian knows he is in deep trouble.
#dcxdpdabbles#Why Ten?#part 4#Danny is making his move#Damian is somehow stumbling into successes#Bruce got hit bad#First romance and love#dead serious
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UNSCRIPTED — toji fushiguro x female reader [chapter 5/5]
summary: you’re a faceless author of scandalous smut — great at writing steamy scenes but totally clueless about real-life romance (and with no one to match your freak). enter toji fushiguro, a hot stranger you (accidentally) throw up on during a drunken night out. surprise! he’s also the future voice actor for your smutty novel’s main character. can you survive the awkwardness of your disastrous meet-cute while keeping your identity (and dignity) a secret? welcome to the chaos of your own erotic fantasy romcom!
content warning & tags: (erotic) voice artist! toji, (smut) writer! reader, smutty content!! [in this chapter: slight dubcon/cnc (?), virginity loss, riding, switch! toji, sort of dom!reader, pussy drunk toji, kind of wholesome, whole lot of yapping], sort of workplace romance, secret/anon identity, slight social media au, meet-cute, virgin!reader, single dad dilf! toji, kid! megumi, strangers to lovers (?), she fell first but he fell harder, mentions of other characters (satoru gojo, suguru geto, megumi fushiguro, shoko eiri, brief mentions of ryomen sukuna)
notes: two chapters a day, who is this diva !!? nah i had this around and i could not help but post it today. it will either mean you all binge read it, or you all completely forget that either chapter has been posted. curse this damn algo! or maybe i am just overenthusiastically posting. but gaaahhhh!! can't believe we are at the end </3 !! thank you thank you THANK YOU !! for the love, i'm so beyond grateful. thank you for letting va toji and smut writer reader in your dashboards and following them along on their stupid meet-cute journey <3 and, please don't be mad about the epilogue, i SWEAR megumi is not like other guys [he is just like his dad...]. also, if you're confused about the ending, PLEASE!! read persephone. it's not as emotional and funny as this one, but...read it so that you could make sense of the plot? IDKKK. or don't i think it's pretty self-explanatory. but in all honesty, the freaky scene was really difficult to write in this chapter, and i really apologise if it seems..."anti-climatic" or a "letdown" or "not smutty enough" :") it's a lot more yapping and emotion based, not something i do often but i sorta liked writing it? i don't know, sometimes you should take a break from the dirty talk and just talk to yourself...eugh what am i saying, anyways! please, enjoy. and let me know how you liked this - comments, reblogs - i'm spying on them all
read on ao3! ● series masterlist
➤ related au: persephone [business tycoon! sukuna x reader]
your phone buzzes quietly on the nightstand, and you reach over, still half-buried in blankets, to check the message. toji grumbles beside you, wrapping an arm lazily around your waist, pulling you right back to him. “don’t even think about leaving this bed,” he mumbles against your shoulder, voice rough with sleep.
you squint at your screen, smiling as shoko’s name lights up with a string of texts.
shoko: mission successful. megumi has been delivered to the institution of learning. shoko: also, fyi, we're stealing the limo for the dayshoko: and no, we won’t be back until we’re legally obligated. don’t worry, we’ll keep gojo under control… mostly shoko: enjoy your alone time, lovebirds 😘
you chuckle, typing back a quick reply.
you: thank you, dearest shoko. keep gojo from being arrested plz 😭 you: we really do appreciate it, but just know i have zero faith in ur ability to contain gojo, lol shoko: fair enough, neither do i
toji tightens his hold around you, grumbling, “what’s so funny? thought you were all mine this morning.”
you turn, placing your phone on the nightstand as you nestle back against him. “just shoko. apparently, she, gojo, and geto did drop megumi off at school. in the limo.”
toji lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “bet those teachers are loving that.”
“oh, absolutely. i’m sure gojo made it a whole production, too.” you laugh, imagining the scene — a horrified teacher watching the three self-proclaimed “cool” adults proudly unloading an amused, completely willing megumi from the limo like he’s some kind of celebrity.
toji’s hand slides up your back, sending a warm shiver down your spine. “good,” he murmurs, a lazy smirk on his face. “means we’ve got all day.”
you bite back a grin. “is that so, mr. fushiguro?”
“damn right, mrs. fushiguro,” he whispers, and there’s that flutter in your chest again.
mrs. fushiguro — it’s still so new, so surreal. you lean into his touch, feeling that warmth radiate from him, that steady presence that’s been with you for so long, but now, somehow, feels even closer.
“god, that sounds… i don’t know. just amazing,” you murmur, voice almost shy. “it’s crazy how much changes when we’re just… us.”
he leans in, pressing his lips to your forehead, and it’s so soft, so tender, it’s enough to make your heart do another flip.
“yeah? feelin’ all mushy on me now, are ya?” he teases, smirking down at you, but his voice is so soft, so genuine.
“maybe i am,” you admit, tracing small circles on his chest with your finger. “just… thinking about how lucky i am. how lucky we are. you… me… and megumi.” the last part brings a smile to your lips, the idea of the three of you, a real family, settled and safe and happy.
toji’s eyes soften, and he leans in to kiss you, slow and warm. “trust me, i’m the lucky one,” he murmurs, his hand coming up to cradle your face as he gazes at you. “i’ve got you, i’ve got ‘gumi… i got everything i need right here.”
you look away for a second, laughing softly to hide how much his words make your heart ache in the best way. “if anyone heard you right now, they’d never believe the tough guy act you put on.”
“hey, don’t go spreading rumors,” he warns, but his smile gives him away. “only you get to see me like this.” his fingers stroke along your cheek as he adds, “my best side.”
you look up at him, a rush of affection filling your chest so full you feel it might burst. “i just… i feel like the luckiest person alive. like… what did i do to end up here with you?”
“you didn’t have to do anything, baby,” he says, pressing a kiss to your temple. “just had to be you.”
you both settle into a comfortable silence, his hand finding yours under the covers, fingers interlacing. there’s something so perfect, so still about this moment — just lying together, his thumb brushing idly over your knuckles. the warmth of his skin, the steady beat of his heart — it’s like every worry, every noise from the world fades away, leaving just the two of you cocooned here in the quiet, the morning sun filtering softly through the curtains.
you close your eyes, sighing contentedly. “i could stay like this forever, you know.”
he chuckles, pulling you closer. “good. ‘cause i’m not lettin’ you go anywhere.”
you’re just basking in the warm silence, feeling utterly at peace, when toji leans in, his voice low and smooth in your ear. "so, mrs. fushiguro,” he drawls, a smirk creeping onto his lips, “wasn’t there talk of a… private reading of that dragon king sequel?”
oh, no.
oh, no.
you blink at him, trying to keep a straight face.
this man is absolutely trying to get in your pants with literature.
who does that? well, toji does, apparently. and damn him for knowing you’d promised him a private reading of that particular book launch. a foolish vow you made months ago, when you didn’t think he’d actually remember.
but, of course, he remembers everything.
“i… um,” you stammer, your cheeks heating. “that was — okay, that was months ago, toji. i didn’t think you’d actually —”
“you didn’t think i’d remember?” he grins, and it’s the kind of grin that tells you you’re not getting out of this. “i remember everything, sweetheart. especially when it involves… let’s say, romantic storytelling?”
romantic storytelling, huh? right.
sure. that’s one way to put it.
“toji, it’s not just, you know, romantic storytelling,” you mutter, cheeks warming even more. “i mean, it’s got… dragons. and quests. and —”
“oh, i remember chapter twenty just fine,” he cuts in, that cheeky smirk now completely in control of the situation. he leans closer, his face inches from yours, all smug and mischievous.
“you know, the one where the dragon king finds his queen and… gives her a real good ‘welcome’?”
your mouth goes dry.
this absolute menace. he’s got the audacity to remember chapter twenty?
“oh, you mean the ‘epic battle scene,’ right?” you try, feigning innocence. “where they’re fighting for the fate of the kingdom, and it’s super dramatic, lots of… explosions, you know?”
he laughs, low and deep, and god, it’s unfair how sexy he makes laughing sound. “sure, if you’re talking about the fireworks when the dragon king finally, you know…” he raises an eyebrow.
“claims his queen.”
you are done for.
“toji —” you start, but he’s already pushing himself up, reaching over to grab a copy of your book from the nightstand. you mentally curse past you for being sentimental enough to keep a copy so close by.
“here we go,” he says, flipping through the pages, and damn it, he’s really going for it. “right to chapter twenty. ah… here. listen to this, babe.” he clears his throat dramatically, as if he’s about to perform the damn shakespearean sonnet of the year.
“the dragon king leaned in, his voice a whisper like embers in the dark, promising the queen his undying loyalty, his soul, his fire —”
“toji,” you hiss, trying not to laugh because this is utterly ridiculous. but also kind of the most endearing thing he’s ever done.
“— and his lips claimed hers with the kind of passion only a dragon king possessed,” he continues, absolutely deadpan.
his eyes flicker up to yours, and the next thing you know, he’s leaning in, his mouth soft against yours, playful, slow. “see?” he murmurs against your lips, teasing. “it’s right there in the text.”
you barely hold back a giggle. “toji fushiguro, you are not… using my own book to seduce me.”
he grins, kissing the corner of your mouth. “oh, sweetheart. i absolutely am. and i’m pretty sure you’re enjoying it, too.” his hands slide around your waist, pulling you closer, and damn it, you are enjoying this.
“this is absurd,” you mutter, though your words lose their conviction as he trails kisses down your neck, each one soft and teasing. “you’re ridiculous.”
“ridiculous,” he murmurs between kisses, “for my beautiful wife who writes… excellent dragon king romances? definitely.” he pauses, looking up at you with that glint in his eyes that you know spells trouble.
“and don’t act like you don’t find it hot, mrs. fushiguro. we both know that’s a lie.”
you groan, flopping back against the pillows. “why did i write chapter twenty like that? i’ve doomed myself.”
he raises an eyebrow, that smirk even more devilish. “hey, i’m just a fan, enjoying a private reading,” he says, leaning back in to brush his lips against yours, soft and gentle at first, but deepening, his hand cupping your cheek in that way that drives you crazy.
“go on,” he whispers, voice low, “read for me.”
your heart’s pounding now, every nerve in your body alive with the feel of him so close, his eyes warm and mischievous and so damn loving.
you swallow, taking a steadying breath, and somehow, miraculously, you manage to open the book and start reading in a low, slightly shaky voice.
“the dragon king wrapped his arms around her,” you read, feeling your voice hitch as toji’s fingers trace little patterns along your arm, sending shivers through you, “his breath warm against her ear, promising her… his devotion. his soul. his fire.”
“mmm,” toji murmurs, pressing a kiss to your jawline. “keep going. this is getting good.”
you continue, barely able to concentrate because he’s absolutely enjoying every second of this.
“and as his lips met hers, it was like… like an explosion of heat, consuming them both in a moment so intense it could… melt worlds.” you swallow, feeling his hand slide around your waist, his face close to yours, his gaze dark with desire.
“you know, i think your writing really captures the, uh, tension here,” he teases, his voice a rough whisper against your ear.
“you’re impossible,” you say, laughing despite yourself as he pulls you back down onto the bed, his kisses now less playful, more earnest, his hand finding yours, fingers interlacing like they belong there.
“impossibly in love with my talented, beautiful wife,” he murmurs against your skin, his lips soft and warm. “the one who just happens to write the best damn dragon romances out there.”
you let out a breathless laugh, burying your face in his shoulder. “if my readers could see this right now, they’d probably riot.”
he chuckles, pulling you close, his hand running through your hair. “well, they don’t get this version of you. that’s all mine.”
you look up at him, heart swelling with so much love you feel you might burst. “yeah?” you murmur, feeling your voice go soft, your hand reaching up to trace his jawline.
“yeah,” he says, leaning in to kiss you, slow and deep, the kind of kiss that makes you forget the whole world, until there’s just him, just you, just the two of you tangled together in this little piece of forever.
you’re deep in the moment, hands tangled around toji’s neck, your heart racing, and then thump! — your hardcover book smacks him right on the back of his head.
you freeze, horrified, but toji just blinks, a slow grin spreading across his face. where you see a mood-killer, he sees a grand opportunity.
“well, well,” he says, rubbing the spot with exaggerated drama, “guess the dragon king’s under attack.”
then, with a mischievous glint in his eye, he reaches down, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “only one way to counter this… surprise assault.”
before you can say a word, he pulls the shirt over his head, revealing that ridiculous six — or is it eight? — pack of his. you lose count every time. the man’s a walking anatomy lesson.
he leans back against the pillows, arms casually behind his head like he’s just some unassuming king lounging in his castle.
“so,” he drawls, raising an eyebrow, “don’t you think it’s only fair for ‘equality’ reasons that you join me in my… wardrobe adjustments?”
you stare at him, knowing exactly what he’s doing, but still, the smirk on his face is impossible to resist.
“oh, ‘equality,’ huh?” you laugh, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “you’re seriously using that excuse?”
“hey,” he says with an innocent shrug, though that devilish grin gives him away. “you hit me on the head. you owe me. this is… reparations.”
“reparations?” you raise an eyebrow, feigning disbelief as you fiddle with the book, stalling, though your heart’s racing. “i think you just want me out of my shirt.”
“yeah, obviously.” his eyes sparkle, not an ounce of shame. “you’ve got the dragon king here, and he’s got a… well, let’s just call it a mighty thirst for, uh, ‘visual balance.’”
you laugh, shaking your head. “visual balance? you’re just making things up now!”
“come on,” he says, reaching out and gently tugging at the hem of your shirt with that smirk that melts you every time. “for equality. and… maybe chapter twenty accuracy?”
you try to hold in a laugh, failing miserably. “oh, now you’re committed to accuracy, are you?”
“absolutely.” he leans in, his eyes meeting yours, that smirk growing softer, somehow more sincere. “besides,” he murmurs, voice low, “i’m not about to let some book have all the fun of a private reading with you.”
his words send warmth straight to your chest, and you find yourself surrendering to his playfulness. slowly, you lift the hem of your shirt, and his gaze never leaves yours, following each movement with that quiet intensity that makes you feel like you’re the only thing in his world.
“happy now?” you ask, raising an eyebrow once the shirt is off and tossed to the side.
toji’s gaze trails over you, his smile widening. “mmm, much better,” he says, voice a low rumble. he reaches out, pulling you close until you’re practically lying on top of him, his hands resting lightly on your waist.
“now,” he whispers, his breath warm against your cheek, “about that private reading…”
“you mean, before the book tries to knock you out again?” you say, laughing softly as he grins.
“nah,” he replies, pulling you closer, voice softer now. “i think i’d rather hear it from you… no books, no pages. just us.” his hand slides up your back, his touch so familiar, so gentle, and suddenly, you’re not laughing anymore, just looking into his eyes, feeling like you’re in your own story, one that’s still being written.
“fine,” you whisper, resting your head on his shoulder as he holds you close, his fingers brushing through your hair. “i’ll read to you, toji. but only if you promise…” you pause, smirking, “not to bring out any more ‘dragon king’ moves.”
he chuckles, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “no promises,” he murmurs, voice warm and full of laughter.
you’re lost in the warmth of his embrace, melting into him as your lips meet, his hands firm on your waist, grounding you as you straddle him. skin to skin, chest to chest, heartbeats syncing — it's everything a newlywed morning should be. but then…
oh.
you feel it.
that very… unignorable reminder pressing insistently against you, and the realization hits like a lightning bolt, your face heating up as if someone turned the thermostat up to a hundred.
you swallow, suddenly very aware of the “problem” in question, and try your hardest to keep a straight face.
it’s not like this is new or anything. toji’s your husband. this is normal. completely normal. all husbands feel like this for their wives, right?
right.
but he’s… so unbothered. he doesn’t even hesitate, just keeps his hands on you, tracing slow circles along your back, his thumb brushing over your skin, his lips curling into a smirk like he knows exactly how much he’s affecting you. and maybe he does.
of course he does.
“toji,” you manage to whisper, barely holding it together, but he’s already looking at you with that lazy, smug grin, like you’re his personal sunrise, and he’s basking in every single second.
“you, uh… you sure you’re okay there?”
“me?” he raises an eyebrow, all innocence as he chuckles, his voice a warm, sleepy rumble that sends a shiver down your spine. “i’m more than okay, sweetheart. just enjoying my beautiful wife on our first morning as mr. and mrs. fushiguro.” he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your collarbone that’s entirely too distracting.
“besides,” he murmurs, lips brushing your skin, “i think you’re the one who’s a little… flustered.”
flustered? you?
“toji, you’ve got a —” you start, but he interrupts, grinning wickedly.
“a ‘normal human reaction’?” he teases, voice dropping to that smooth, low register that drives you crazy. “can’t help it when you’re this close. on top of me. looking like that.”
you cover your face with your hands, half-laughing, half-dying of embarrassment. “stop — oh my god, you’re insufferable.”
“and you love it,” he says, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. his eyes are soft, sincere, with a glint of mischief as he tilts his head. “what’s a husband supposed to do? just look at you? you make it real hard, y’know?”
he lets out a low laugh at your expression and then holds you tighter, his hands warm and steady on your waist.
“guess we’re not getting out of bed for a while, huh?”
you’re not sure what’s come over you — maybe it’s the morning sunlight streaming in, soft and hazy; maybe it’s the devilish little voice in your head nudging you forward.
but somehow, here you are, straddling your very, very surprised husband, taking matters (and his pants) into your own hands.
and, well, let’s just say you got a little… ambitious.
before you even have time to think, you’re, um… fully committed.
as in, no turning back.
as in, you’re in.
toji’s eyes go wide, his hands gripping your hips as if he’s trying to catch up to what’s happening. his breath hitches, his head falling back against the pillow, and he lets out something between a sob and what might be a moan.
his cheeks are flushed, his jaw tight, and for a second, he just stares up at you with a look that’s a mix of reverence and utter disbelief.
“you… y-you just… did you just — ?” he manages to stammer, the words catching in his throat, and suddenly, you’re the one who’s freaking out.
the reality of what you just did hits like a freight train, and you’re not prepared.
“uh… yes?” you squeak, as if you’re also trying to convince yourself. a nervous laugh escapes you. “i mean… yeah. i just… i thought… y’know, we’re married now, so… spontaneity?”
toji’s lips press into a shaky smile, his fingers tightening on your waist.
“spontaneity, huh?” he repeats, a breathless laugh bubbling up as he tries to process the situation. “damn, sweetheart, you really know how to keep a guy on his toes.”
your cheeks heat up, and you suddenly realize just how locked into this you are.
no backing out now, not when you’re quite literally in the thick of it.
“oh god,” you mutter, half to yourself. “did i just… did i seriously just yolo this?”
toji laughs, his thumb tracing comforting circles on your hip, his voice a little strained but warm as ever. “honestly? kind of the best ones of my life. but if you’re freaking out… we can take a breather.”
but there’s something in his gaze — something soft and genuine, with that signature spark of mischief — that steadies you a little. you take a breath, letting his presence calm your nerves.
and then, with a shaky smile, you lean down, pressing your forehead to his.
“just… don’t move too fast, okay?” you whisper, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
“you’re the boss, mrs. fushiguro,” he murmurs, voice low and tender, and he pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you, holding you steady. “locked and loaded… best way to start the day.”
you try to summon every ounce of confidence your heroines have ever possessed — the boldness, the sass, the sheer conviction that they know exactly what they're doing.
but here you are, completely frozen, caught somewhere between exhilaration and abject terror.
your mind is racing, but your body? not so much. you can’t seem to move.
and to make matters worse, there’s a tiny part of you that’s panicking, the same part that has you wiggling slightly as you try to find any semblance of control.
naturally, he notices, and, of course, he feels it, too.
toji’s eyes soften, his mouth curving into that warm, almost-too-perfect smile that always settles your nerves, and his hands move gently to your hips, steadying you with the barest of pressure. you’re not sure if he’s trying to keep you from falling apart or if he’s anchoring himself, too.
“hey,” he murmurs, voice warm and so steady it cuts through your internal chaos. “you don’t have to do anything, sweetheart. lemme take care of you.”
he tilts his head back to meet your eyes, and the softness in his gaze is almost enough to melt you.
“besides,” he teases, a wicked little glint appearing in his eyes, “the last thing i want is you remembering this as the morning you freaked out on top of me. that wouldn’t be fair to you, or, honestly… to me.”
you manage a shaky laugh, trying to focus on him rather than the tangle of nerves twisting in your stomach.
and maybe, just maybe, you can let go of your inner heroine pep talk just this once.
“okay…” you whisper, breath still catching, but there’s something in his touch that’s grounding you. “just… go slow?”
“yes ma’am.” his voice drops an octave, the promise of patience woven through every word, and his hands tighten just a little, guiding you with gentle confidence. he starts moving slowly, carefully, each motion more reassuring than the last. his thumb brushes your hip soothingly, grounding you.
“and remember,” he whispers, mouth brushing the corner of your mouth as he leans up, “i’m right here. always.”
you’re trying, really.
but, for all the research you’ve put into this exact scenario, it’s like your mind’s blanking out on everything.
front and back? sideways? or was it… circular? maybe up and down?
why is it that the one time you desperately need a mental slideshow, all your research notes abandon you?
to make matters worse, toji’s expression isn’t exactly helping. he’s looking at you with this mix of sheer desperation and restraint, like he’s teetering on the edge of losing it or… combusting.
maybe both.
“uh, toji,” you murmur, fingers trailing uncertainly on his chest as you try to read his reaction. “am i… doing this right?” you ask, half-joking, half-panicked, but mostly hoping for some kind of confirmation. or maybe a sign that you’re not about to ruin him.
toji’s eyes snap open a bit wider, and the sounds he makes are… well, hardly words.
more like a strangled, garbled mess of syllables that could pass for something between a moan and a mutter. he opens his mouth to say something and then just clenches his jaw, exhaling a shaky breath.
“babe…” he finally chokes out, voice rough. “whatever you’re doing… just… give me a sec, okay?”
you stifle a laugh, watching as his hands are balled so tight at his sides that they’re nearly shaking. it’s like he’s holding himself together by sheer willpower alone. you swear his knuckles might actually be going white.
he lets out a huff, like he’s trying to recite a grocery list or remember anything that isn’t the feel of you on top of him.
“satoru’s voice… that dumb soap commercial… yeah, yeah, there it is… ‘leaves you feeling fresh all day’... god help me,” he mutters under his breath.
“toji?” you can’t help it; you lean in, brushing your lips against his jaw as he swallows hard.
“i think i’ve broken you.”
his head tips back, a strained laugh breaking through as he fights to keep his cool.
“you… might just have,” he manages, voice rough around the edges, and there’s this flash of helplessness in his gaze that makes your heart skip.
“i’m doing that well, huh?” you smirk, feeling just the tiniest spark of confidence.
he groans, half in frustration, half in what sounds like pride. “yeah… yeah, you are,” he grits out.
“and if you move… in literally any direction right now, i’m not sure how much longer i can hold back.”
you take a moment to consider, still a little nervous, but now definitely encouraged by the effect you seem to be having on him.
“well,” you whisper, “you’re my husband now. i think that means we can both… figure this out together.”
he looks up at you, that steady, determined look in his eyes, as he exhales another shaky breath.
“then let’s figure it out,” he murmurs, voice softer now, but still brimming with that intensity.
his hands finally settle on your hips, steadying you as he starts guiding you slowly, deliberately, and the careful rhythm he sets feels like it’s easing all that tension out of both of you.
“god… toji,” you murmur, feeling every little shift and movement as he keeps you close, never rushing, always guiding.
“that’s right, sweetheart,” he says, his tone softening as he takes his time with you. “we’ve got all the time in the world.”
while toji is supposedly the one who should have all the experience here, somehow you’re the one taking charge — leading the pace, finding a rhythm, and honestly, feeling a little like some overconfident cowgirl until you remember, oh right, this is toji fushiguro, not some wild bronco.
okay, maybe ease up on the cowgirl image, you mentally scold yourself, trying to stay focused.
but that confidence you’re feeling? it’s dangerous. because just as you settle into this boldness, feeling like you’ve got things under control, toji lets out a whimper.
your eyes fly open, heart practically stopping in your chest.
oh no.
was that a sound of pain?
did you somehow… break him?
wait, is it even possible to damage internal organs like this?
“toji…?” you ask, almost scared to hear the answer.
he lifts his head a little, looking dazed and half-lost, his breathing heavy, eyes hazy with disbelief as he mutters,
“y-you’re…” he doesn’t even finish, just closes his eyes, head falling back as another broken whimper slips out.
and then it hits you.
oh.
“you… you like this?” you ask, almost stunned. the idea that you’re the one making him sound like that?
the thought is so potent it makes you feel a rush of something warm and… yeah, okay, powerful.
he’s barely able to respond, his hands gripping your hips now, knuckles white as he nods, lips parted in another helpless gasp as he tries and fails to keep his cool.
“don’t… stop,” he finally chokes out, like he’s barely hanging on.
“oh, trust me, i’m not going anywhere,” you whisper, heart racing. and now there’s this little thrill lighting you up from the inside out, because every tiny movement is pulling more helpless little sounds from him, his restraint finally slipping.
toji’s voice is so rough, barely holding it together as he grits out, “you’re killing me, sweetheart… god…”
“well,” you manage, barely keeping your own composure, “it’s only fair, right? after all the times you’ve done this to me?”
he lets out another shaky exhale, clearly struggling, and for a second you’re genuinely worried he might just combust completely.
“y-you really think… you’re doing me in, huh?”
you raise a brow, smirking despite yourself. “you sound like you’re the one struggling here.”
he laughs breathlessly, like he can hardly believe it, before he pulls you close, one hand cupping the back of your neck.
“struggling?” he murmurs, his voice low and full of promise. “i’m just letting you have your fun before i flip us over and show you exactly who’s in charge here.”
your heart does a somersault. because the thrill of this playful push and pull, of seeing him finally lose control?
that’s the best way to start any morning.
toji’s brain is on a full-blown rollercoaster right now, and not in the way he’d imagined.
he’d thought he’d be calm, collected, the man in control, ready to take his time with you and make this morning something sweet and a little filthy, just like you’d always hinted at.
he’d be the one setting the scene, the one doing all the work, the one guiding you gently, like he’d dreamed about doing ever since you let him in on that side of your writing.
he even had a whole monologue rehearsed in his head last night: “to my parents, my friends, and any god who’s listening, thank you for giving me this beautiful woman to love, a girl with fire in her veins and creativity for days.”
he’d planned on simple, soft kisses, with lots of praise to make you feel adored, even throw in a little dirty talk, just like in your books.
he’d thought about quoting a line or two back at you for fun — maybe one from that chapter you wrote where the dragon king says, “you’re all mine tonight, and you’ll feel every inch of me, i promise.”
but now?
all that’s gone out the window, because here you are, on top of him, taking the lead with confidence, and he’s losing his mind.
every time he tries to open his mouth, all he can get out is a strangled groan, and it’s doing something to him he wasn’t expecting.
he can barely recognize himself; the words he’d so carefully picked out are just… gone. every time you shift, it’s like his thoughts scatter to the wind, replaced by pure, helpless need.
he wants to tell you, wants to let you know how much he loves this, loves you, how insane you’re driving him, but all that comes out is a barely-coherent mess of sounds, and it hits him that you’re not just in control of his body — you’ve completely stolen his mind, too.
“i… god, i thought i was supposed to be the one teaching you…” he finally manages to whisper, half in awe, half in defeat.
you smirk, that little gleam in your eye sending a shiver down his spine. “thought you liked a surprise every now and then?”
and all he can do is nod, a dazed look in his eyes.
because in this moment, he realizes he’d gladly give up every carefully planned word, every practiced move, just to feel like this forever: utterly and completely wrapped around your finger, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
the second toji feels your movements stutter, that telltale shiver coursing through you, he knows exactly what’s happening.
and oh, he’s not about to let you handle all that on your own.
in one smooth, effortless motion, he flips you onto your back, settling himself on top of you with a grin that’s downright devilish. his muscles flex as he moves, every bit of that gym routine paying off in real time.
“thought i’d take over, sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice low and husky, his words wrapping around you like velvet. “just… seemed like you could use a little help.”
you meet his gaze, already breathless, but the excitement bubbling inside you is impossible to ignore.
“oh, you’re taking over now?” you tease, your hands resting on his strong shoulders, gripping tight, letting him feel the way your fingers tremble slightly. "go on then, show me what you got."
his eyes darken, and the heat between you intensifies as he lowers himself, pressing a line of kisses along your neck that makes your whole body tingle.
"you don’t have to tell me twice,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with that rough, familiar affection, every word sending a thrill straight to your core.
with every frantic movement, every desperate thrust, he’s thoroughly reminding you that this is his world, and you’re just lucky to be living in it.
the tension that had been building inside you starts winding tighter again, and you feel like you’re seconds away from cumming. every nerve is on fire, and his name escapes your lips like a prayer, like you’re as completely lost in him as he is in you.
“that’s it, just like that,” he whispers, his tone full of encouragement, his breath warm against your ear. “i want you to feel everything, sweetheart.”
and with the way he’s moving, with the heat and the energy building between you, you don’t doubt for a second that he’s going to make good on that promise.
you're clinging to him, legs wrapped tightly around his waist, arms tangled around his neck like you’re in some intense love-drunk wrestling hold, and you’re this close, teetering on the edge.
you have no idea what to do with all that emotion bubbling up inside — are you supposed to say something? shout something? last time, when he went down on you, you practically screeched, and that memory alone is enough to make you blush in embarrassment.
but, you’re different now, classier, you tell yourself.
totally changed.
so instead, you lean up, press your lips to his ear, and let out a quiet, garbled, “i love you.”
toji goes still for a fraction of a second — barely a heartbeat — but it’s long enough for you to feel it: he wasn’t ready for that. it’s a sneak attack, and you see his face shift, his eyes going wide for just a moment before the heat in them intensifies, pure, raw emotion flooding in. you feel his whole body respond to those three words, and just as you think yes, i’ve got him, you realize he’s already cumming.
finished, before he even had a chance to let out a coherent response. he’s so stunned that he just mutters, “fuck,” breathless and hoarse, the word barely forming on his lips.
you can’t help but laugh, voice filled with a mix of triumph and disbelief. “wow, that got you, huh?” you tease, brushing a hand through his hair, feeling all the tension melt from his body as he tries to catch his breath. “and here you thought you had it all planned out.”
he huffs, pulling you even closer, his forehead resting against yours, that familiar smirk creeping back into place despite the flush on his cheeks.
“never underestimate the power of a writer,” he murmurs, voice deep and warm. “especially when her words pack one hell of a punch.”
and you grin, sinking into the feeling of having completely swept him off his feet, knowing full well he wouldn’t want it any other way.
toji’s lying there in post-bliss, still catching his breath, when it hits him harder than any of gojo’s early-morning, glass-shattering shrieks: he just took his wife’s v-card.
he’s your first.
and then it all unravels, one chaotic revelation after another — he just came inside you.
came inside you.
and wait, oh hell, were you even on any contraception?
his eyes widen in a near-panic, and he can feel his pulse skyrocketing again, but this time it’s not from excitement.
he remembers how much you love kids — yeah, kids. specifically, one kid. megumi. did you two even talk about adding more to that tally?
“uh, babe…” he starts, pulling away as gently as possible. he ignores the mess and all sense of grace as he practically scrambles to his feet, hurriedly grabbing the first thing he can to clean you up, which turns out to be some spare tissues by the bed.
you blink up at him, a bit dazed but smiling, that look of total contentment on your face. but it just makes him panic more.
“are… are you okay?” he asks, voice a bit too frantic. he’s cleaning you up with a gentleness that feels oddly out of character, his hands trembling just slightly as he checks you over, his fingers brushing your cheek, your arm, like he’s making sure you’re really, truly okay. “do you feel… i dunno, uh… like, rested? like, you’re good, right? not too sore?”
you let out a soft laugh, reaching up to cup his cheek. “i’m fine, toji. actually, i’m more than fine,” you say, brushing a thumb over his cheekbone, and his heart does that stupid skip thing again. he can’t let himself get sidetracked, though.
“oh, that’s good — really good.” he nods, grabbing the water bottle that’s somehow on his nightstand, a red iron man one. “here, drink this.” he uncaps it, nudging it toward your lips. “hydrate and all.”
you stare at the bottle for a second, blinking.
“is that… ‘gumi’s iron man bottle?”
“i don’t know, and i don’t care right now. just drink,” he says, pushing it toward you with a kind of determination, and you obediently take a few sips, though you’re clearly trying not to laugh.
after a few swallows, you pull back, wiping your lips. “toji, relax. you’re the one who told me to trust you, right?”
he’s rubbing the back of his neck now, a bit embarrassed but mostly still caught up in his thoughts. “yeah, well, i didn’t think that…” he trails off, looking at the mess on the sheets with an almost horrified expression.
“i just… we didn’t talk about… kids.”
you tilt your head, giving him a soft look. “toji, do you want kids?”
he runs a hand through his hair, that panic settling into something softer. “i mean, i’m good with megs, y’know? he’s… he’s all i need, but… it’s not like i’d be against it.” he shifts, the vulnerability clear in his eyes. “just… wanted to make sure that’s what you wanted, too.”
you reach for his hand, pulling him back down beside you, a reassuring smile on your face. “we can figure that out together. maybe we don’t know everything yet, but that’s okay. we’ve got time, don’t we?”
he lets out a sigh, relief flooding through him as he squeezes your hand. “yeah, yeah we do. i guess i just… never thought i’d get to do this. to be… a real family, with you.”
“toji,” you murmur, leaning in close, pressing your forehead to his. “you already gave me everything i could ever want. whether it’s just you and me, or us and megumi… or more.”
he lets out a chuckle, feeling lighter as he finally lets himself relax. “alright, alright. just don’t scare me like that, okay?” he mumbles, reaching for the blanket to cover you both up again.
and as he lies back down beside you, he can’t help the soft smile that spreads across his face.
two years had flown by since that whirlwind of a wedding, and life with toji and megumi had settled into a heartwarming, beautifully chaotic rhythm.
megumi, now ten , was in a phase where he’d scoff and roll his eyes at anything even remotely ‘ kiddish ,’ claiming he was far too mature for that stuff now.
but you’d caught glimpses of that little boy spark in him — a reminder that he hadn’t fully shed his innocence yet.
like the time you’d spent an entire evening painstakingly building a lego dragon together, a complicated model that had you and toji squinting at the manual with a kind of warrior resolve.
where toji groaned, half-buried in tiny plastic pieces. “this better be the last one, kiddo, or your mama and i are gonna turn into dragons ourselves,” he muttered, piecing together the dragon’s intricate scales.
megumi tried to act indifferent, leaning back with an exaggerated sigh. “well, i don’t need it. dragons are kinda… whatever .”
but the moment the final piece snapped into place, his face lit up with such unguarded delight, and he stared at the completed dragon, almost in awe.
“actually… it’s kinda cool,” he mumbled, tracing the wings with his finger.
and then there was the iron man phase.
just last week, you had surprised him with a new iron man action figure — the latest model that even he, the ‘ oh-so-mature ’ ten-year-old, had been subtly eyeing. he’d accepted it with a feigned shrug, muttering something about it being ‘ okay ,’ but later you found him arranging his collection on his shelf with utmost care, placing iron man front and center.
today was a new milestone, though. suguru, ever the romantic, had finally invited his elusive business partner and the woman he was head over heels for: the famed mrs. ryomen , founder of persephone wines, accompanied by none other than her husband, ryomen sukuna . their wine brands were renowned globally, their rivalry and partnership like something out of a novel, and, unsurprisingly, satoru never shut up about how good the wines were.
the moment you laid eyes on her, you understood why suguru was so smitten. she was a vision of grace — calm, poised, with an elegance that felt both timeless and grounded. her wisdom was palpable, like she’d seen the world and learned from it, carrying that understanding effortlessly.
and beside her was sukuna, a towering figure, his presence demanding attention without a single word. he wore his reputation as the industry’s most formidable businessman like a second skin, but there was a softness in his eyes whenever he glanced at his wife.
and trailing beside them, in her adorable little dress and with a wide, mischievous smile, was their five-year-old daughter, aiko. she looked exactly like her mother but had that unmistakable devious glint in her eyes — the unmistakable ryomen charm that came with a penchant for trouble.
aiko spotted megumi almost immediately, her eyes lighting up as she sized him up with that daring grin. without a second’s hesitation, she skipped over, standing tall in front of him as if ready for a duel.
“you’re megumi, right?” she asked, her hands on her hips.
megumi nodded, looking slightly intimidated but also oddly impressed. “uh… yeah? ”
“my daddy says you’re gonna be tall like him someday,” she announced with a challenging gleam. “but i think i’ll still be cooler.”
toji, watching the exchange, chuckled, leaning down to you. “she’s got the ryomen spirit, alright. poor suguru, he’s in for a lifetime of keeping up.”
suguru, who had been watching from the sidelines, gave an almost weary smile. “don’t remind me. she’s just like her dad, which is… terrifying.”
over the course of the evening, satoru found every possible opportunity to rave about the wine, which led to a slightly tipsy serenade of praise to both persephone and ryomen wines.
suguru shook his head, but you caught the faintest hint of pride in his eyes as satoru loudly professed, “the best wine on earth, right here! what did i do in my past life to deserve this ?”
“satoru, we get it,” shoko laughed, patting his shoulder. “but maybe save some of your poetic speeches for the actual wine reps?”
sukuna, stoic as ever, cracked the smallest smirk. “better listen to her, gojo, or next time you’re paying double for every bottle.”
at this, megumi tugged at your hand, pulling you down so he could whisper in your ear, “do you think they’re like… superheroes? like, fancy business ones? ”
you grinned, whispering back, “maybe, but the kind that save people’s sanity after long days with a good glass of wine.”
as the night wore on, aiko became bolder, challenging megumi to little games and teasing him whenever he pretended to be unimpressed.
by the end, they were both racing around, megumi begrudgingly admitting that maybe having a ‘ little kid ’ around wasn’t the worst thing ever.
and you, watching your little found family and newfound friends all mingling, felt a sense of peace settle over you. life had changed so much, yet, with every piece that had fallen into place, it felt more complete than ever.
toji slid his hand into yours, his thumb brushing softly over your knuckles. “so,” he murmured, nodding towards the crowd of laughing, chatting, slightly inebriated friends, “how’s forever treating you?”
you squeezed his hand back, leaning into his warmth. “with you? it’s perfect .”
— [epilogue]
megumi adjusted the microphone, clearing his throat as he began his podcast. the familiar red recording light blinked on, and for a moment, he hesitated.
but then, that cool, low voice of his rolled out — completely unaware of just how many listeners were tuned in because of that very voice.
“hey, everyone,” he started, with a slight, almost embarrassed laugh. “it’s megumi. welcome back to another episode. thanks for sticking around, i guess.”
he took a deep breath, leaning into his usual deadpan humor. “today’s a little… special.”
eight years had passed, and megumi was now eighteen, on the verge of starting college. you never could have imagined that the quiet, reserved little boy who once scowled at anything that wasn’t cool enough would be sitting here, in gojo-sonic’s recording studio, with a podcast following that had skyrocketed in the last few months - his own little corner of the internet was a hit.
it was always a little surreal, hearing him speak like that — like an old pro — though megumi had no idea just how attractive his voice was.
you’d caught snippets of his episodes in passing, and honestly, you were floored. it had that raw, emo, mysterious vibe that made his fans swoon.
but megumi didn’t care much for that. he just liked talking.
talking about whatever came to mind, whether it was the state of the world or random deep thoughts about dragons (which his viewers loved).
he paused for a second, then smirked. “so, apparently, it’s the anniversary of the sequel to my mama’s infamous ‘mating with the dragon king’ series, which is, uh…” he chuckled under his breath. “a title i try not to think too hard about, for my own sanity.”
he glanced at his notes, mentally preparing himself for the rest. “but it’s also my parents’ anniversary. they’ve been together a long time now, and honestly, i think they’ve aged pretty well… if not gotten weirder, too.”
"okay, so first things first," megumi continued, tapping his fingers against the mic like he was thinking.
"i’ve been asked a lot recently — yeah, like a lot — about my parents. so, i thought today, i’d… well, talk about them. for those who don’t know, my mom and dad are basically the best couple on the planet."
he paused for a moment, a rare smirk tugging at his lips. "and no, i’m not just saying that because they pay my college tuition," he added, voice dry, before laughing lightly. the subtle humor, that ever-present dry wit of his, had not been lost over the years.
“i’m serious, though,” megumi continued, his tone shifting slightly. “they’ve been married almost ten years now. ten years. that’s a long time, right? you know, the stuff i’ve seen them go through — good and bad — has honestly been like watching a rom-com… without the cheesy music. it’s real.”
he leaned back, grinning at the memory of his dad attempting to act cool when his mom gave him the anniversary gift she’d obviously poured her heart into, and how his dad pretended to brush it off while trying not to tear up.
“i swear, my dad still thinks he’s the heartthrob he was in his youth… not that he’ll admit he ever thought that.”
a comment from the live chat caught his eye, and he read it aloud with a half-smile, “how are the lovebirds doing these days?”
“they’re… good,” he answered, a little softer, before laughing. “honestly, they’re like teenagers sometimes. last week, i caught them dancing to “dancing queen” in the kitchen at, like, two in the morning. my mama insisted they were ‘practicing their moves.’”
another comment rolled in: “is it true they started dating because of ‘mating with the dragon king’?”
megumi groaned, rubbing his forehead.
“okay, so — yes, my mama’s… work may or may not have been involved in them getting together. which, by the way, is mortifying, but what can you do?”
he continued, “so yeah, every year, around this time, they go through the book again. they claim it’s just to, i don’t know, ‘relive the magic,’ or whatever. but personally, i think it’s just their excuse to laugh over the old cheesy lines and then get all sappy.” his voice softened, and you could hear the fondness there. “it’s… it’s cute, actually.”
as he sifted through more questions, a few regulars in the chat started asking about his dad’s influence on the podcast.
“so… ‘like father, like son,’ huh?” he repeated aloud. “you all know my dad, toji fushiguro. he’s been a big reason i’m doing this at all. every week he tunes in and listens, usually making some snide comment about my ‘emo’ voice.” he chuckled.
“but, like, he’s my biggest fan. it’s… weird. and kinda awesome.”
megumi leaned closer to the mic, as if sharing a secret. “sometimes he even gives me topic ideas, and he likes to pretend he’s all smooth about it. last week he was like, ‘hey, you ever think about doing an episode on… i don’t know, how to handle annoying old guys? just… putting it out there.’”
megumi rolled his eyes. “yeah, thanks, dad.”
one listener asked, “so, are your parents tuning in today?”
megumi laughed. “oh, you better believe it. mama’s probably listening right now, making little notes about everything she’s going to tease me for later. and dad? he’s probably lounging around, acting all nonchalant, but hanging onto every word. he never says it, but… he’s proud. he just shows it in weird, dad ways.”
you, sitting in the living room across the house, smiled to yourself. you and toji hadn’t missed an episode of his podcast, even if megumi was often too cool to tell you exactly what he was talking about on-air.
this was your son, the one who swore he'd never be like you two, now waxing poetic about your love life. you had to admit, it felt like a win.
you couldn't help but chuckle as you leaned over to toji, who was sprawled on the couch, casually scrolling through his phone. “he doesn’t even realize how much he sounds like you.”
toji grinned, looking up from his phone. “i know. ’m proud, honestly. the kid’s got my voice, and he’s got a knack for talking like a damn pro.”
then, someone commented, “do they still do their anniversary dinner tradition?”
“yeah, every year without fail,” he said with a warm smile. “they go to this little bar where they first met. same table, same drinks….it’s a whole thing. and they always make sure to bring something dragon-themed as, like, an inside joke.”
“is it true you used to help pick out those dragon anniversary gifts?”
“uh, yeah, when i was a kid, i’d help out. it started with this silly little dragon keychain i got from a claw machine. my mama loved it, and dad pretended it was the best thing ever. and now… it’s just something they do. last year, we found this ridiculously tacky dragon-shaped candle holder. they loved it, of course.”
he paused, watching the flood of hearts and happy emojis on the screen. “honestly, seeing them still be so… them, even after all these years — it’s kinda awesome.”
as the comments continued to pour in, he couldn’t help but smile. “you know, when i was younger, i thought all of it was a little much. but now, i think… it’s cool. like, really cool, to have two people who just… get each other, and who make life fun. like, i might roll my eyes, but i wouldn’t trade them for anything.”
“anyway, that’s enough of the mushy stuff,” megumi added with a huff, trying to shake off the softness that had crept into his voice. “the point is, they’ve been together for a decade, and they still act like they’re in their honeymoon phase. but they’re both ridiculous, so whatever works, right?”
one final comment caught his eye: “do you ever think about finding a love like theirs?”
megumi laughed, leaning back in his chair. “i don't really know if I’ll ever be that kind of couple — that couple who looks at each other like it's just… meant to be. but honestly? i kinda hope i do. 'cause if that’s what they’ve got, i want it too. who knows?”
there was a beat of silence before megumi sighed, clearly awkward with what he’d just said.
"alright, that’s enough of the sappy stuff. let’s move on to today's topic of… superhero movies."
the episode cut into a new segment, but not before you could hear megumi’s voice soften again.
“but if i do… you guys will be the first to hear about it. after all, i learned from the best.”
you pressed a hand to your chest, feeling an overwhelming swell of love for your son. despite all his protests, the way he spoke about you and toji just now? it was more than a little heartwarming.
“ten years, huh?” toji said softly, his voice carrying that familiar warmth. “you think we’ve gotten better with age, or are we just getting more ridiculous?”
you leaned your head on his shoulder, chuckling softly. “i’d say both. we’re definitely more ridiculous. but i’m pretty sure we’re still just as in love as we were on day one.”
toji smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i wouldn’t have it any other way.”
back in the recording room, megumi wrapped up the episode with his usual quiet flair, and just as he was about to sign off, he added,
"to all the people listening out there — especially the ones who think i'm some kind of “emo, angsty mess” — you’re not wrong. but hey, thanks for sticking around. and shoutout to mama and dad… for being the real heroes of this fushiguro life.”
you heard the final click of the microphone turning off, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell once again, knowing that your little family, in all its weird, loving chaos, was exactly where it needed to be.
produced by creamflix on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, modify, repost — support your writers by liking and reblogging. ♡
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x female reader#jjk x fem!reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x female reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#fushiguro toji x you#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji x self insert#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x reader#fushiguro x you#fushiguro x y/n#fushiguro x reader#fushiguro toji smut#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#jjk x reader smut#jjk x you#toji fushigro x reader
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Messing with the chainsaw man girls hair
This was requested by @shikitohnoskk
The request:Hey, is it okay for me to request it again? I've noticed that most of the Chainsaw Man girls (Makima, Asa, Kobeni, and Quanxi) wear a ponytail.
Headcanon: Have S/O see their hair down and compliment it, and perhaps personally tie their hair into a ponytail.
Note: for the other girls who haven't ponytailed or short hair like Power, Himeno, and Fami (does Yoru count since she is in Asa's body)?. What are your ideas on them?
A/n:I couldn't come up with a good title that fit all the girls' scenarios, so you get that. Also, sorry if I posted this later than usual again. School sucks
Makima
Living with makima, you've gotten used to the morning routine you have. She always wakes up before you and prepares everything you need. She wakes you up with a kiss, and you do your morning routines together, helping each other get dressed, washing your faces, and putting each other's ties on. It's a really sweet and domestic moment that you love.
Doing this so many times, you started to notice something, whenever you woke up makima already had her hair done, even if she was still in the lingerie she wore to bed.
You weren't surprised. Her ponytail looked like it took a lot of time to get done, and she probably didn't want to "bother" you, but you still wanted to see her with her hair down, so one day you woke up by yourself, without needing her to kiss you.
You yawned and stretched, then made your way to the bathroom where you saw just what you wanted to see, your girlfriend in front of the mirror messing with her hair.
She noticed you behind her in the mirror but did nothing and waited for you to come near her, you did and hugged her tightly, still a bit groggy
"Good morning darling, why did you wake up early today?"
"Wanted to see you"
Makima giggled at your sleepy tone but turned around and hugged you back kissing you in the process
"Your hair looks beautiful like this"
"Does it? I think it looks unkempt"
"It's still beautiful"
"Thank you love"
She kissed you once more and pulled away from the hug, turned around again towards the mirror, and grabbed her hair tie
"Do you want me to help you?"
"Hm?"
"I can help you tie your hair if you want"
"That would be wonderful, my love, are you sure?"
"Of course, I'd love that"
Makima smiled brightly at you and handed you the hair tie. You took it and gently grabbed her hair and started to tie it up, trying to imitate the form you always saw it in.
"You're amazing, my darling, i don't know what I'd do without you"
"What do you mean? You do this alone every morning"
"No, I meant in general. You give me a reason to wake up and get ready every day"
"That's so sweet to hear, but you know you'll always look beautiful to me, no matter what"
"Thank you sweetie, but I still want to do this, you really didn't have to"
"But I wanted to"
"And that's what makes you so wonderful"
You finished tying her hair, and she looked at it. She thought it was even more beautiful than when she made it
"It looks amazing thank you so much"
"Don't worry about it, it's the least I could do"
She turned around one last time to kiss you, even more passionately this time. When she pulled back, her beautiful golden eyes looked back at you with so much love
"I don't think words can describe how much I love you"
"The same goes for me makima"
Power
"Get your hands off of me, filthy human"
"......power please calm down"
You and the rest of division 4 were supposed to attend a meeting with makima and some important members of the government, so your boss advised you to dress nicely, this was no problem for you and your other friends, but it kinda was for your girlfriend power.
She only accepted to take a bath when you joined her and even then didn't wash very well and she struggled a lot while you were helping her put her suit on.
"Ugh! This is so uncomfortable"
"I know, but you have to wear it"
"Said who?"
"Makima"
"...........ok"
She sat in front of you again as you put her tie on
"OK I'm done"
"Finally!"
She started to get up but you stopped her
"Wait, we're not finished, you have to tie your hair"
"What? Why?"
"I dunno, I guess it makes you look more....... civilzed"
"Are you saying I'm not civilized normally?"
"Listen, we need to make a good impression, or makima is gonna dock our pay. Just put this on, please,"
The blood fiend pouted and turned around dramatically
"Never! I refuse!"
"I'll give you cuddles when we get back"
"..........."
"With meowy"
Power turned towards you again, still pouting but with a blush on her face"
"Fine, you win"
"Thanks"
She grabbed the hair tie you were holding in your hands and looked at it for a while before trying to tie her hair.....unsuccessfully
"Do you.....need help?"
"O-of course not! How dare you say that!"
She proceeded to continue failing to tie her hair
".........can you help me?"
You giggled but quickly got up and went behind her, taking the hair tie and starting to tie her hair
"Have you ever tied your hair before?"
"Y-yeah but it's really hard doing it alone"
"Don't worry, I get it. You can ask me for help when you're struggling"
"R-really?"
"Of course, I'd love to"
"......thanks"
"It's no problem"
As you finished tying her hair you looked at it and smiled
"You look beautiful like this"
Hearing this power smugly grinned and turned around to look at you
"Of course, did you have any doubts the great power would look beautiful in any hair style?"
You laughed again and kissed her cheek, causing it to glow red
"No, I definitely didn't, now let's go, denji and aki are waiting for us"
Himeno
After waking up and doing everything you needed to, you were waiting for himeno to wake up as she usually slept late. You heard a big yawn coming from your bedroom and knew that she woke up so you waited patiently for her to come out of the bathr-
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
You immediately sprinted towards the bathroom
"Himeno, what's wrong?"
"O-oh hiiiii y/n, n-nothings's wrong I just-"
"Why are you covering the left side of your head?"
"......whaaaaaat? No I'm not"
"Seriously hime, what's wrong you know you can tell me"
Himeno sighed and took her hand off of her hair
"OK, just don't laugh"
She turned around and you started staring at her hair, at first you saw nothing wrong but then
"Wait, is the left side of your hair completely cut off?"
"Yeah"
"How did that even happen?"
"I-i dunno I was drunk last night and-"
"You had scissors while you were drunk? You could have hurt yourself"
"I know.....sorry"
"It's fine, at least you're ok"
"Yeah, my hair isn't though, you think I'd look good with a hat?"
You both laughed softly at that, you put a hand on her head and started stroking her hair
"While I think you'd look good with anything, I don't think you need to put one on"
"Hm? Why? You got a solution?"
"Maybe, what if you cut the other side too so it's even, you have shot hair anyway so it'll grow back fast"
"I guess that could work, but to be honest, I don't really trust myself with scissors anymore, even sober me"
"I can help you"
"Really?"
"Yeah of course"
"Awww, thanks so much baby, you're the best"
"It's nothing just go sit somewhere, I'll grab the scissors"
Your girlfriend gave you a thumbs up and grabbed a chair to sit in while you took the scissors. You then stood behind her and started cutting her hair carefully
"This is just like being at an hairdresser"
"Don't exaggerate, I'm not a professional so it may come out ugly"
"Please, if you do it, then it possibly can't be ugly"
"You're giving me too much credit"
"Nah, it's you who's giving yourself too little credit"
"Well thanks"
"No problem"
After you finished cutting her hair, you told her so, and she went to the mirror to see how it looked. After she stared at herself for a few seconds, she smiled widely and went to hug and kiss you
"You're amazing y/n, this looks great"
"Oh please it's not-"
"Hey! Stop that. You're amazing, ok? That wasn't a question it was a statement, so don't try to argue with it"
"Hehe, alright thanks, I'll accept it"
Himeno smiled again and kissed you passionately
"Great, because I'll say it as many times as I need to"
Kobeni higashiyama
(The person who requested this actually sent me this picture saying it inspired them to request, I really appreciate that so thanks)
You put the keys in the door of your shared apartment and turned them, as soon as you opened it, kobeni weakly walked through the living room and let herself fall on the sofa heavily sighing in the pillow
"The mission was hard wasn't it?"
She got up and turned towards you, her expression softening a bit but still clearly irritated
"Yes, well, the mission itself was supposed to be easy, but power was insufferable. She kept being so loud and annoying and reckless-"
You quickly pulled her into a hug, which caused her to relax and nuzzle in your chest
"I know I know, don't worry I'll ask makima to pair us up together next time ok?"
"T-thanks"
"How about we just relax now, let's cuddle and watch a movie"
"Yes please, I'd like that"
You two smiled at each other, and you went to the kitchen to get the snacks ready while kobeni changed into something more comfortable. You came back after a while and brought the blankets with you, you saw kobeni with her pjs on
"You look good"
"E-Eh?"
"I'm just saying, you look cute when you're comfy, I like seeing you relaxed"
She blushed and looked away for a moment before smiling again at you again
"Thank you"
You smiled even brighter as you sat near her and you started watching the movie
"Why do you still have your hair tied?"
"Hm?"
"I thought you'd let your hair down, to help you get more comfy"
"I-i guess"
She raised her hands to her hair, but you grabbed them and held them in yours, kobeni started blushing but looked at you with confusion
"No, let me do it, I want to"
"W-what?"
Before she could protest, you started untying her hair and grabbed her hairpins, putting them on the table along with the hair tie
"There you go beni"
"O-oh thanks"
"It's nothing, I just want nothing more than to help you relax in any way possible"
"You're really the best I love you"
Your girlfriend started to relax more and laid her head on your shoulder. You smiled at this and started playing with her now free hair
"Your hair looks beautiful"
"U-uh? Oh, thanks, really"
"Every part of you is beautiful to me, especially right now. You're always so stressed and tired, I love seeing you like this"
Kobeni turned to look at you a bit surprised but quickly smiled as she felt her cheeks getting even hotter
"Thank you really, thank you so much, I cannot describe how much I love you"
"Me too beni"
Quanxi
"I'm taking a shower. Do you wanna join me?"
You looked up from your phone to see quanxi starting to take her blood-soaked suit off
"Oh no, thanks, I'm not really in the mood right now"
Quanxi nodded silently and continued to take her clothes off in front of you, something you had gotten used to as she had little to no trouble walking around the house in very little clothes
"Then can you wash the suit? The blood got in pretty deep"
"Yeah sure"
You got up and grabbed the clothes she threw on the ground, you started walking but were stopped by quanxi, putting a hand on your shoulder
"Wait"
She untied her hair and shook her head, making her white hair flow and fall behind her head, despite her being in nothing but her eyepatch, her hair was still the thing that caught your attention the most.
"You don't need to wash this, just give it to me when I'm done"
"OK"
She smiled at you and gave you a kiss on the forehead
"Thank you, sweetheart"
After you put her suit in the washing machine, you resumed doing what you were doing before while you listened to the water fall in the bathroom until the sound stopped, and you heard the door open.
"Love, can you give me the hair tie back?"
You looked up again and saw your beautiful girlfriend in a tank top and shorts and still with her hair down
"Oh yeah, here you go"
You got up again and handed her the hair. she rewarded you with another forehead kiss
"You look beautiful"
"Uhm?"
"Your hair, it genuinely looks beautiful like this"
"Oh, thanks, I guess I don't let them down often, so I'm glad you like it"
"Do you mind if I tie your hair?"
"Sure"
Her answering with such little hesitation confused you a bit, as did her handing you the hair tie and turning around as well as bending over a bit.
But you quickly did what you wanted to and tied her snow like hair, admiring how genuinely beautiful it looked
"You really like my hair, don't you?"
"Yeah, I love it, like every part of your body"
"I'm glad"
When you finished your job, quanxi turned around and suddenly kissed you passionately and wrapped one of her arms around you, sliding the other one under your shirt, feeling your stomach
"I love you so much, my sweet"
"I love you too"
Asa mitaka/yoru
Having two girlfriends in one body sometimes made it difficult to distinguish who was in control of the body in one specific moment, but you found a method to do it. If you can't see the face directly, because the scars and eyes would give it away pretty fast, you look at the hair, if it's a ponytail then it's probably asa and if they're down then it's probably yoru.
For some reason, one of the first things yoru does when she takes over is untying her hair and throwing the hair tie somewhere in the room making it hard for asa to find it later, one of this occasions resulted in you currently tying asa's hair
"Thanks for helping me"
"It's nothing, don't worry, you should probably get more hair ties though, how did this one end under your bed anyway?"
"I don't know ask yoru"
The girl said in a passive-aggressive tone, hoping to get the attention of the devil in her head who just ignored her
"I guess I could try to ask her to be more careful about it"
"Please do"
"Hehe, ok, I'm finished by the way"
"Thanks"
"You're welcome"
Asa stood up and turned towards you but was surprised to see your lips approaching hers, and before she could react, you kissed her. After a bit of confusion, she reciprocated your kiss that lasted for a bit before you pulled back
"So do you wanna eat something? I have some chips if you want"
"Yeah thanks"
You gave her a thumbs up and went to the cabinet, grabbed the bag of chips and two bowls and put it on the table, you looked back at asa only to see her......with her hair tied down
"......yoru? What are you doing here?"
"I took over"
"Yeah why?"
"I wanted to see you"
"*sighs* OK....but take the hair tie back"
"Eh? Why?"
"Cause then asa will have to spend hours searching for it"
"Fine, here"
She handed you the hair tie she surprisingly still had
"You didn't throw it away?"
"No....I heard what you said"
"Oh thanks"
Surprised by her thoughtfulness, you kissed her like you did with asa, which caused her to blush slightly but kiss back quickly, more aggressively than her host. She let the kiss go on for a few more seconds before she pulled back
"I'm gonna tie your hair now"
"Why? I like them better like this"
"Cause asa just tied them, I don't want her to have to do it again"
"It's always asa this and asa that, what about me? I like my hair like this"
"It's not your hair in the first place"
"..........ok that's fair"
"I'm glad you understand"
The war devil reluctantly turned around and let you tie her (asa's) hair again. After you finished, she turned back only to not have the scars and ringed eyes anymore
"Oh hey, welcome back asa"
"Thanks"
"I'm surprised yoru let you take over"
"She didn't, I think she's still yelling at me in my head"
"Oh, you're fighting over me?"
"We kinda have to when we share a body"
"Well, I'm flattered"
"Thanks for tying my hair again by the way, I know it can be annoying"
"Oh no not at all, I love it"
"I'm glad, I really love everything you do for me well for us"
Fami
A/n:So, since we're talking about hair and fami, I wanted to bring up something I've been thinking about for a while. What color is fami's hair actually? I always thought it was pink (maybe because i associate her with kirby) but in the volume cover she's in, you can't really see the color because the lighting is weird (or they're more purply) and in the fanart I've seen she's with either pink, purple or white/cream colored hair similar to quanxi. I guess we won't know for a while, but I'll still keep writing her as if she has pink hair. Also, sorry if this is shorter than the other ones, I didn't have that many ideas
"Fami can you......take off your hat for a while?"
You had been staring at the famine's devil hair for a while, something that she noticed but didn't seem to mind. You were confused by it and wanted to confirm something, which prompted you to ask the question
"Why?"
"I just wanna see your hair"
Fami shrugged and did as you told her, revealing her pink hair full of crumbs and stains
"What........happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your hair is dirty, like really dirty"
"Oh yeah, some food fell on me"
".......how?"
"I was trying to get it in the cabinet and it fell on me"
"......*sighs* I'll go get a hairbrush"
You went to the bathroom and took a hairbrush out of a cabinet, going back to the living room and standing behind fami while she was still eating, starting to brush her hair carefully
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to clean your hair"
"Oh........thanks"
"No problem, just tell me earlier next time"
"Ok, I just didn't want to bother you"
"You could never bother me. In fact, I love your hair, and I love brushing them"
"......thanks again"
"It's really nothing but geez, a lot fell on you, I think we'll have to wash it"
"I guess I don't mind if you join me"
"*sighs* sure if you want
#chainsaw man x reader#chainsaw man#csm x reader#csm#x reader#makima x reader#makima#power x reader#power#himeno x reader#himeno#kobeni x reader#kobeni#kobeni higashiyama#kobeni higashiyama x reader#quanxi x reader#quanxi#asa mitaka x reader#asa mitaka#yoru x reader#yoru#fami x reader#fami#gn reader
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As a queer woman in a red state, I needed to see this today. I still love my state. This is my home. Where I was raised, where I went to school, where my wife and I were married, where I work, where we bought our house, where we started our little farm, where my baby will be born, where my friends are. Where my entire communkty and safety net is. I'm so happy here. I love my life here.
Please stop saying "fuck red states."
My dad is one of the most die hard Republicans I know. He voted for Trump and yes, it breaks my heart. It makes me sick and at time makes me feel unloved. And I have to remember this is the man who basically took a bow of silence about me coming out for the first year. THAT man cried happy tears and gave the most moving speech at my wedding. He adores my wife and calls her is daughter now. THAT man's beliefs have changed in what for him is a hugely significant way. It's not enough YET but he reminds me that a lot of people who voted for Trump DO care, they just don't get it. Unfortunately we'll all learn the hard way now but it also means there are allies within the enemy, they just don't know it yet.
Please stop saying "fuck red states."
My in-laws have been so die hard Republican their entire lives and voted for Harris this year. Willing to get into loud family arguments and strain family relations over it. It's a change I had given up hoping to see and yet, it finally happened this year.
Please stop saying "fuck red states."
My tiny town is largely made up of migrant workers. Every business here is bilingual. Including the grocery stores, post office, and city hall. This town wouldn't exist without migrant workers. No one knows more about how much our farming communities NEED migrant workers more than the tiny farm towns in red states. I promise you, in my state, it's the Republicans in the cities here that are pushing for mass deportation, not the farmers.
Please stop saying "fuck red states."
I voted for one republican this year. Yep. An Asian American woman who grew up on a potato farm, married into the family of another potato farmer, ran on a campaign to halt rent inflation, allocate more state funding to education and foster care, and supported controversial decisions in the past to protect the environment. She was an incumbent and she won. She's playing the long game of knowing which party she can win running under in her home state and she's making a damn big difference in her little district.
Please stop saying "fuck red states."
There are young queer closeted kids here. I was one of them. I was voting and protesting for gay rights before there were any and I'll fucking do it again if I have to. Because over 1/4 people here DID vote for Harris and every single one of us have to stay and fight and be visible for the next generation of scared closeted queer kids because if we all left for blue states, who would be left to fight for them?
Please stop saying "fuck you" to the people I love and the home I've built. The future I see slowly building here can still happen. I still have hope. But if those fighting the good fight in red states give up now, if they say too say "fuck red states," then we really will have lost that future.
I love you everyone in red states right now.
I love you everyone who has family that is/will celebrate a Trump victory in your state.
I love you everyone surrounded by loved ones actively voting against your rights.
If you voted, you for Kamala, you did everything you could and you should be proud.
All of your frustration and anger is justified, understandable, and fair.
I’m sending you all love and peace.
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It's hilarious you made Tim be paranoid of Perry. And when the reveal of Perry being Agent P. He is going to go, I told you so to Jason.
Also, let Dr. Doofenshimertz be friends with MC (or Reader, I usually call them MC). Like, just invention buddies. Let him be a good dad friend to MC, like look at how he raised his child, Vanessa. Let MC be doted on. Also, let MC be friend with Vanessa.
the lore just creates itself, with the asks! tim being paranoid of perry is making it into the fic. he's going to feel so vindicated (maybe even more vindicated than damian when reader gets busted) when the truth about perry comes out. funny thing is, he's still the littlest bit suspicious of perry after that. he's still convinced the platypus doesn't like him and is out to get him specifically. which is too bad, because he seems to get along just fine with reader, damian and jason.
i mean, dr. doofenshmirtz is huge no-no as a friend for reader because he's a villain. a subpar villain, but still a villain! i could see reader perhaps being friendly with vanessa, maybe they go to the same school, but it would unfortunately be a short-lived friendship when the batfam intervenes. damian didn't like vanessa and he sure didn't like her dad, so he's glad that his family finally caught wind of reader's bad companions and cut them off their life (hopefully with just a warning to stay away from reader...). they don't need such bad influences in their life.
on another note,
reader after they come back from dc. vs vampires universe:
(warning: spoilers for the dc. vs vampires comic)
honestly, i'm conflicted on how tht would go because the possibilities are endless. i like the idea of reader not really existing in that reality, so when they pop into existence mid-chaos, it's very... interesting. nobody knows who they are, and not in a "oh sorry sib i forgot about you for a sec" way, they really don't know who they are! and batman couldn't be more exhausted at this point, now he has an extra child from another dimension who's stuck here while he's dealing with figuring out what this whole vampire mayhem is about.
now, whether they arrive in dc vs. vampires while batman is still alive trying to figure out who the vampire king is or after dick reveals himself and is on his way to conquer the world is difficult to decide. realistically, reader would just go back to their universe in both cases as soon as they realized they're not in their gotham. but what if their dimension-traveling device breaks and they're stuck for a while before they manage to fix it?
bonus points if damian got dragged into this bullshit and gets to meet his vampire version who's trying to defeat dick. that would be a mess of unheard of proportions.
"damian (x2), i know what we're gonna do today!" and it's defeating the vampire king.
that, or damian and reader adopt the "no interfering with other dimensions" approach and mind their own business getting back home. just a moment to see that oh, the situation here is way above our pay grade, let's leave asap.
but tbh, i think both reader and damian would be horrified by this reality and so very relieved when they get home safely, in time for dinner. nobody believes them, sure, but dick does notice they're following him around and looking suspiciously at him at lot. and he's baffled, do they really think he's a vampire? come on. he heard about kids having over-active imaginations, but that's just too much.
#the concepts keep getting crazier people that's what i'm here for!!#actual vampire reader from the v*tm fic: hm. i feel a disturbance in the force. shrugs.#asks.
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Michael Tomasky at The New Republic:
I’ve had a lot of conversations since Tuesday revolving around the question of why Donald Trump won. The economy and inflation. Kamala Harris didn’t do this or that. Sexism and racism. The border. That trans-inmate ad that ran a jillion times. And so on. These conversations have usually proceeded along lines where people ask incredulously how a majority of voters could have believed this or that. Weren’t they bothered that Trump is a convicted felon? An adjudicated rapist? Didn’t his invocation of violence against Liz Cheney, or 50 other examples of his disgusting imprecations, obviously disqualify him? And couldn’t they see that Harris, whatever her shortcomings, was a fundamentally smart, honest, well-meaning person who would show basic respect for the Constitution and wouldn’t do anything weird as president?
The answer is obviously no—not enough people were able to see any of those things. At which point people throw up their hands and say, “I give up.” But this line of analysis requires that we ask one more question. And it’s the crucial one: Why didn’t a majority of voters see these things? And understanding the answer to that question is how we start to dig out of this tragic mess.
The answer is the right-wing media. Today, the right-wing media—Fox News (and the entire News Corp.), Newsmax, One America News Network, the Sinclair network of radio and TV stations and newspapers, iHeart Media (formerly Clear Channel), the Bott Radio Network (Christian radio), Elon Musk’s X, the huge podcasts like Joe Rogan’s, and much more—sets the news agenda in this country. And they fed their audiences a diet of slanted and distorted information that made it possible for Trump to win. Let me say that again, in case it got lost: Today, the right-wing media sets the news agenda in this country. Not The New York Times. Not The Washington Post (which bent over backwards to exert no influence when Jeff Bezos pulled the paper’s Harris endorsement). Not CBS, NBC, and ABC. The agenda is set by all the outlets I listed in the above paragraph. Even the mighty New York Times follows in its wake, aping the tone they set disturbingly often. If you read me regularly, you know that I’ve written this before, but I’m going to keep writing it until people—specifically, rich liberals, who are the only people in the world who have the power to do something about this state of affairs—take some action.
[...]
This is the year in which it became obvious that the right-wing media has more power than the mainstream media. It’s not just that it’s bigger. It’s that it speaks with one voice, and that voice says Democrats and liberals are treasonous elitists who hate you, and Republicans and conservatives love God and country and are your last line of defense against your son coming home from school your daughter. And that is why Donald Trump won. Indeed, the right-wing media is why he exists in our political lives in the first place. Don’t believe me? Try this thought experiment. Imagine Trump coming down that escalator in 2015 with no right-wing media; no Fox News; an agenda still set, and mores still established, by staid old CBS News, the House of Murrow, and The New York Times.
That atmosphere would have denied an outrageous figure like Trump the oxygen he needed to survive and flourish. He just would not have been taken seriously at all. In that world, ruled by a traditional mainstream media, Trump would have been seen by Republicans as a liability, and they would have done what they failed to do in real life—banded together to marginalize him. But the existence of Fox changed everything. Fox hosted the early debates, which Trump won not with intelligence, but outrageousness. He tapped into the grievance culture Fox had nursed among conservatives for years. He had (most of the time) Rupert Murdoch’s personal blessing. In 2015-16, Fox made Trump possible. [...]
The fake story about Haitian residents of Springfield, Ohio eating cats and dogs, for example, started with a Facebook post citing second- and third-hand sources, Gertz told me; it then “circulated on X and was picked up by all the major right-wing influencers.” Only then did Vance, a very online dude, notice it and decide to run with it. And then Trump said it himself at the debate. But it started in the right-wing media. Likewise with the post-debate ABC “whistleblower” claims, which Gertz wrote about at the time. This was the story that ABC, which hosted the only presidential debate this election, fed Team Harris the questions in advance. This started, Gertz wrote, as a “wildly flimsy internet rumor launched by a random pro-Trump X poster.” Soon enough, the right-wing media was all over it.
Maybe that one didn’t make a huge difference (although who knows?), but this one, I believe, absolutely did: the idea that Harris and Joe Biden swiped emergency aid away from the victims of Hurricane Helene (in mostly Southern, red states) and gave it all to undocumented migrants. It did not start with Trump or his campaign or Vance or the Republican National Committee or Lindsey Graham. It started on Fox. Only then did the others pick it up. And it was key, since this was a moment when Harris’s momentum in the polling averages began to flag.
[...]
To much of America, by the way, this is not understood as one side’s view of things. It’s simply “the news.” This is what people—white people, chiefly—watch in about two-thirds of the country. I trust that you’ve seen in your travels, as I have in mine, that in red or even some purple parts of the country, when you walk into a hotel lobby or a hospital waiting room or even a bar, where the TVs ought to be offering us some peace and just showing ESPN, at least one television is tuned to Fox. That’s reach, and that’s power. And then people get in their cars to drive home and listen to an iHeart, right-wing talk radio station. And then they get home and watch their local news and it’s owned by Sinclair, and it, too, has a clear right-wing slant. And then they pick up their local paper, if it still exists, and the oped page features Cal Thomas and Ben Shapiro. Liberals, rich and otherwise, live in a bubble where they never see this stuff. I would beg them to see it. Watch some Fox. Listen to some Christian radio. Experience the news that millions of Americans are getting on a daily basis. You’ll pretty quickly come to understand what I’m saying here.
[...] The reason? The right-wing media. And it’s only growing and growing. And I haven’t even gotten to social media and Tik Tok and the other platforms from which far more people are getting their news these days. The right is way ahead on those fronts too. Liberals must wake up and understand this and do something about it before it’s too late, which it almost is.
Michael Tomasky of TNR explains it perfectly: Donald Trump won due to the right-wing media apparatus feeding lies to the voters.
#Donald Trump#Conservative Media Apparatus#2024 Presidential Election#2024 Elections#Broadcast News Media#Hurricane Helene#Hurricane Helene Conspiracies#Springfield Cat Eating Hoax
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finaly got around to updating my intro post a bit again
#that#that counts as getting stuff done right?#what do you mean i STILL have school today?!#surely if i do random tasks ive been putting off that take way more energy then they should the future stops existing?
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I blame big agri, big pharma (You think pharmaceutical companies are only in the business of drugs? A lot of them have patents on and sell pesticides too), and land developers. You know, the corporate entities that are actively destroying habitat and eradicating plants and wildlife.
But you know what? There's something you can actually do about this.
Step 1: KILL YOUR LAWN
Link to t-shirt art here.
And I mean this literally, metaphorically, and spiritually.
Unless it's an actual communal space, urban turf lawns are elitist colonial holdovers from the days of European estates - from wealthy land owners who could afford to have servants hand cut their lawns and didn't need the land to subsite off of. Rather the elites just subsisted off the backs of other people's labor. Like they still do today. Turf lawns are status symbols, they provide very limited habitat for wildlife, very limited eco service system functions, and are fucking boring.
So kill your lawn and eat the rich. You don't need a lawn to throw a potluck bbq.
Step 2: Plant Native Plants
(Photo credit)
Plant them in your yard, next to your vegetable garden, in containers outside you apartment, plant them in your asshole neighbor's yard, in hellstrips, in road medians, on the sides of the roads community gardens, at your kid's school, guerilla garden in some businesses landscaping, talk to your HOA about changing their dumb rules, join a local volunteer restoration effort, advocate for installing pollinator gardens at your local park. Wherever you think you can get native plants to grow.
Sure there are some immediate benefits to planting native plants, but one plant or one garden is not gonna fix climate change or habitat loss on its own. But that's not the point. The point is to learn and to heal. The point is to show people how to re-democratize our landscapes, because we as a species have forgotten what that looks like. It is about reminding people what the beauty of nature is, the sustenance it provides us, and the interconnectedness of all living things.
So go out there and get your hands dirty.
Also, as someone who works in land stewardship and natural resources, and who has completely gone down the Prairie Dog burrow on native plants, hit me up with questions. Chances are I don't live in the same ecosystem as you do and won't be able to answer in fine detail, but I'm happy to help people get started and point them to local resources.
it's kind of crazy climate change has occurred at such a remarkable pace that I and everyone else around my age can remember a completely different climate in our childhoods. I truly watched winter gradually disappear in my life.
#climate change#nature#stewardship#solarpunk#disrespect the grind#am i channeling all my rage and spite into land stewardship and gardening?#yes. yes i am. because that's at least one thing i know i can do#little ghost on the prairie#also bought a kill your lawn shirt and a hoodie and am impatiently watching my mailbox#native plants#native plant gardening#gardening#do plants not drugs#or do drugs but just remember most of those come from plants so consider paying it forward
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i've noticed a bit of discourse over the span of me being back here about peer recognition &what that does to a person's mental on socials.
idk if it's because of my inactivity or because i've just been on tumblr for 10+ years but it really puzzles me when i see someone fretting over the amount of notes and/or social engagement their posts seem to lack. of course we as humans love peer recognition &validation but i'd hate to think that's all some people care to focus on when it comes to their blogs.
i think we all should be posting whatever we want without trying to calculate how many notes we'll receive on any one single post because that's setting yourself up for disappointment. if you're a simblr.. i'd like to assume you came here because you enjoy playing your game, creating content or using it as a creative outlet to express your form of individuality.. the notes in this case should sort of act as a bonus.
people have lost their heads.. ranting in txt posts about their content "flopping" or feeling like they don't belong here.. &it's just like.. take a deep breath.. it's okay.. you'll survive. also idk what flopping is when it comes to simblr, because.. if i get anywhere between 10-100 notes from loyal followers that have engaged with me from day 1, can recognize my OCs &are genuinely paying attention to what's going on (because they care that much).. that's a hell of a lot more rewarding to me than amassing 500-1k notes because a popular simblr randomly decided to reblog me that day.
please learn to love your game, your blogs, your cc & yourself. because what's the point of notes if you're not even genuinely happy with your game in the first place? you'll continue to have unrealistic expectations &end up in that rabbithole of forcing yourself to do tzrs, spam liking &reblogging others just to get that in return &trust me it comes off super fake &people will notice that too.
#ive seen ppl be like "i keep reblogging ppl &doing tzrs but my posts are still flopping#i think ive just been here too long#because 5 yrs ago you were lucky if you even got 50 notes &2 comments#i think the influx of ts4 simmers..patreon.. &renders changed how simblr looks today#because let me tell you.. 1k+ notes on post rarely happened and that really was only if it was a damn good piece of cc#i mean i have 11k followers.. am i getting 11k notes.. fuck no#which is why i wanted to make a new blog#so i can keep track of the ppl who really fuck with me and vice versa#i think we should just stop treating simblr like a high school cafeteria &get back to the essence of what makes us happy
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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community college is so funny because half of the teachers are like "For this class you need to use lockdown browser for all quizzes and tests. You need to buy this 70 dollar textbook, and all papers turned in must be in APA format with a title page even if they're only 500 words long. I will not accept late assignments. Also you have a minimum of 4 assignments a week." and the other half are like "you don't need proctoring for the final exam I trust you. here's a download link to a pirated copy of the textbook. as long as your writing is coherent and demonstrates an understanding of the material I literally could not care less what format you use. I can't figure out how canvas works so I'm not giving you due dates, just make sure it's turned in before the grading period ends. your only weekly assignment is a forum post with a minimum of 100 words."
#my favorite teacher so far is still the film history professor I had in my first semester.#he was very old and didn't understand how canvas worked at all and sometimes had trouble opening a video file#but simultaneously he was tech literate enough to recommend we use firefox with an ad blocker#because whenever someone missed class and was like 'where do i go to find the movie' he'd be like 'use an ad blocker and google it'#he said the school made him stop emailing links to free movie sites because people would open them on chrome with no ad block#and there'd be borderline malware on them. like this guy gave me the impression he was like. a veteran movie pirate lol.#that class had barely any assignments. like there wasn't a final exam or anything.#he just wanted us to write a paragraph or so answering a few questions about the movies we watched. it was chill.#and i also learned a lot actually. like i didn't know what a nickelodeon was before then. or the Hays Code.#the movies were genuinely good. i never thought Id be that into old black and white movies or westerns for example but they actually slapped#some of them had really mature themes and i definitely started to understand the people on this website who are like#'if the only media you consume is children's media you should maybe branch out instead of calling steven universe problematic'#because a lot of the movies we watched depicted very 'problematic' things and were able to directly address them because they are for adults#(to clarify I didn't just like kids media before then. i just mean that it introduced me to some older stuff i didn't think I'd like)#(but i ended up liking a lot. it also made me realize that movies made today are kind of shit. which i also already knew)#(but it put it more into perspective because I have more to compare it to)#im rambling now. community college is pretty swag i enjoy it. and i do get along with the teachers who have crazy requirements too lol.
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No bc fuck tim but it really really bothers me how people ignore his growth like he used to be an asshole and I’ll give tim Stans one thing: now he’s so so so stale but what I disagree with is that this staleness is bc nobody likes him like it’s in fact the exact opposite where everyone likes him so much they dont want to do anything. Even when it’s him surface level challenging Bruce it’s when everyone else is doing it too; but he’s still the backbone of the fam! Etc. and it’s so irritating bc him gaining more compassion and empathy even for people he doesn’t fw is so fun to watch and that’s why the captain boomerang thing was so out of character! (Not in a from the author way but in a tim wouldn’t do that and he and Bruce both knew it which is why it went down like it did. Same way dick killing joker was ooc; not in fanon sense but in a he would hate himself forever for this sense) and speaking of that it’s such an interesting mirror to Bruce who genuinely believes that everyone can grow vs Tim’s it doesn’t matter if they grow it’s not my decision to make like it’s the same but it’s not AND WITH CASS’ IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CHOOSE NOT TO GROW I WONT DO IT! like ugh. And anyways even when people acknowledge it they boil it down to “Janet and Jack taught him that the capitalist pigs that they are” like no. This is who tim was. Tim was the kind of guy who’d blame a dead kid for dying. That’s ok. Also Janet and Jack? Please reread anything involving them that’s not a fic like Jack had anger issues and they were both aloof at worst like relax.
#the Jack and Janet thing is both an understatement and an exaggeration but I don’t think anyone reads enough to care#some tim stan might get all pissy and be like ‘no look this is everytime jack yelled at him and boarding schools are abusive’ to which#and its like narratively that means nothing bc the tim you made up to justify the Drake parents you made up by blowing shit out of#proportion is also made up and if all of that was abusive there’d be smth to show for it besides ur homophobic Jack#too girlboss to care but still terrible Janet bc god forbid a woman have a personality from ur fics#anyways that’s also the reason I’m ignoring the council of spiders#well two reasons#first is that was just a moment to make tim look cool and did absolutely nothing for him or his character moving on#like at all#I’d say it fucked with his previous established dislike of killing for his own reasons#and while that COULD be interesting it’s not bc they didn’t do shit with it#and fanon doesn’t do fun shit with it either#nothing about how tim in his most manic state did shit he doesn’t want to remember shit he’d HATE other ppl for#just “’remember what I did to ur base Ra’s? mess with me again and see what I do next 😼’#like ok can you be real and genuine?#anyways I think#AND NOT IN A HATER WAY#Tim would benefit from being humbled#like genuinely I detest the world can’t move without tim running it but the idea that tim thinks that way is so good to me#and#I think next step being him realizing that’s not true would be a BIG push for his character#bc like I said tim Stans are right in the fact that he’s stale as hell rn#but that’s bc there’s nothing to say bc there’s nowhere to go! y’all want a tim action story where he shows off how badass he is reread#the Bruce quest and maybe it’ll remind you he’s not ceo lmao but anyways there’s nothing internal to say about him atp bc nobody wants to#say anything that’s not propping him up. same with Bruce! Gotham war was such a copout but it’s like ppl are saying he’s stale and it’s bc#god forbid he makes a lasting fumble. and I’m not under the illusion this is new I’m just saying it’s weird that fandoms not clocking it#anywayyys I really do like thinking about the No killing rule and how different it manifests for each perosn#like the way each distinct difference tells u so much about them#UGH ONLY SLIGHTLY RELATED BUT DUUUUUKE BEING LIKE IDGAF ABOUT GUNS LIKE UR SO REAAAL#anyways enough tim positivity for today FUCK THAT NIGGA!
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5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
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🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
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