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rayofsunas · 4 years ago

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otherworldly! s/o

A/n: happy monday! I woke up at 7am and since then I've been grinding out assignments/classes and now this, so I actually feel productive even though I've been staring at my computer for a while. but thank you for requesting anon! I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it! <33 also to understand this more, I'd like to point out that this connects to the speculation Genshin and Honkai are alternate universes of one another. so for example, Scaramouche is a harbinger from his time, but he may have been a warlord in a different, with a completely different name (keeping his appearance ofc) hope that makes sense. so if you've paid attention to what I've been saying about Scara and his mini-series, etc. you'll understand what I mean in Scara's lol. his reader insert is fem for the same reason as above btw!

Summary: otherworldly! s/o who arrived as a fallen meteor, that can bring back plants to life/heal deep wounds/scars and resurrect people.

Parings: Albedo/Gn! Reader, Xiao/Gn! Reader, Scaramouche/Fem! Reader

Warnings: swearing, fluff, alternate realities/time traveler au! (reader is not the traveler), death/resurrection

Word count: 1.7k

Albedo

you don't have a vision like some people in Teyvat, because you're not from there; you're from a whole different world itself. instead, you have healing abilities that allow you to any energy you absorb in the form of food/sunlight, and you can use that energy to heal others. though, the healing can only go as far as healing minor injuries such as shallow cuts, scratches, or smoothing out scars. the same can work if you were to heal yourself.

Albedo is so intrigued when he finds you passed out in the pit of a meteor, half of your body hanging out while the other is awkwardly still in it

one, because who is this stranger in a meteor for crying out loud

and two, he notices your wounds on your arms are healing by themselves, slowly though

as someone who studies alchemy, life forms, and such, he's very intrigued that you're able to heal yourself without medicine, and he wonders if you can do the same to others

so he takes you to his lab, and runs a few tests

yes, you're still passed out when this happens, but he's just so curious and couldn't hold back

don't worry though, he's just drawing some blood and testing to see what you can do, because who knows, you may not even speak his language and won't be able to communicate with him (doesn't make a difference Albedo, you need COnSENT-)

so, just for science, he cuts the palm of his hand a little and decides to see if you can heal him

it doesn't take him long to notice the way the tips of your fingers are glowing a light greenish-yellow, so he immediately assumes that's the source of your powers and places a finger on his palm

it takes a second before anything happens, but eventually his cut starts to slowly close

once again he's even more shocked and intrigued

you have the natural ability and he's never come across someone with so much raw strength being able to do that

so you're right up his alley

when you wake up you're confused as hell (obviously) but thankfully, you can speak his language and are able to share your story

Albedo decides to make a deal with you

he'll help you get home if you can educate him more about your ability and your homeland. you agree

it works out perfectly, because you both have something the other needs/can do for the other (you have your power that he's interested in, and he's found a way for you to return home)

it's also easy to work together because of those same common interests, and it helps that he studies alchemy cause he's way more knowledgeable about you and the process can go a tiny bit quicker for you if you wish to return home sooner

at first you're merely friends, co-workers if you wish

but then he starts falling for you and vice versa

you both genuinely enjoy each others company, so you decide to stay in Teyvat a little while longer, even after he finds a way for you to go home

I wouldn't put it past Albedo to want to return to your world if you allow it

he'd be interested in this new or not so new world ;)

Xiao

you're like the traveler in a sense, where as soon as you climbed out of the meteor, you felt this connection to Teyvat and your vision randomly appeared. you have a dendro vision, something you learned was a rarity within liyue and mondstadt. along with that vision, you had the previous ability to grow/heal plants. you can bring back dead plants, though if they've been dead for a very long time, that's beyond your ability. they also can't be brought back if they've been badly burned.

Xiao may not be interested at first about what vision you have or even where you came from + why the hell you climbed out of a meteor

he's more interested in getting you home so you can stop asking questions about his own abilities/vision and odd, unfamiliar, but beautiful world

but boy when he catches you bringing back a wilted Glaze Lily?!? shook

he secretly thinks you're so cool and it piques his interest

he's never seen anyone do this before, and though his eyes were deceiving him when he first saw the lily spring to life again

but then when he catches you healing more plants, on your way to Liyue to hopefully find Zhongli for answers, he's so interested

he doesn't ask a crapload of questions, BUT he's going to ask at least one or two

"how're you doing that?"

"what are you?

the questions are kind of vague and require more in-depth explanations than he'd originally hoped, but he's surprisingly willing to listen to your story on the way to the harbor

after he learns your story and calls for Zhongli, he'll immediately leave and claim he has no further interests in you

but he's obviously lying

he finds as he's sitting on top of one the smaller mountains one night, looking down at the glowing Liyue town, he has more questions

way more questions

surprising Zhongli, Xiao shows appears when he's showing you around and getting you accustomed to the people/culture

he finds himself hoving behind you, shyly almost, never asking questions (at least not in Zhongli's presence

his reason for standing behind you is to protect you from any harm, so that way, when he decides to ask you more questions, you'll be there for him to do so and not dead or lost

when you tell Zhongli you'd wish to stay in Teyvat, specifically Liyue, Xiao is happy ngl

he can ask you questions and now that you're somewhat used to Liyue, having been here for four months already and planning to stay forever, he can catch you alone and ask questions without Zhongli hovering or acting as your tour guide lol

slowly, and I mean sluggishly slow, he's going to ask you more questions and he may, emphasis on may, tell you his own story

Scaramouche

you're from an alternate reality of Teyvat, a former doctor in your world. basically, Teyvat hundreds of years in the future. you've studied the human body to become a doctor obviously and you used to be able to bring back the dead using your bare hands. it didn't matter how far back ago they've died, as long as their full-body was still intact (full skeleton needed). though, the further back they died, the more energy you'd use, and if you run out of energy too soon, you couldn't bring them back. but now in this strange land, you can't. in exchange for your powers being lost, you're given an electro vision.

Scaramouche is tasked with finding out more about these odd meteors that keep appearing in various corners of Teyvat

and one very large one

he doesn't care who you are, what you are, what your excuse for being in Teyvat is, but he's been ordered to explore the fallen meteor and since you happened to be passed out inside it upon further exploration, you're part of the mystery he's been told to check out

and, it doesn't further help your situation that you landed in Snezhnaya, in the weirdest, not-so-warm clothing AND he finds you attractive (yes, you heard it here folks), plus you're going to catch hypothermia out here dressed like that

it would suck for a pretty girl such as yourself to be frozen to death

so Scaramouche decides to take you to the Tsaritsa, who leaves you in Scaramouche's care since he found you

she says he can do whatever he wants you, dispose of you, etc.

when you finally come too in an odd room on a couch in front of a fireplace, you're confused, cold as hell despite the flames, and when you see his face, you're immediately angered, which he finds odd

it's almost as if you recognize him... but he doesn't recognize you so he's confused as well

"what're you doing here?"

bold of you, he thinks. to question him with that tone as if you have authority here, over him

"watch yourself. I was going to ask you the same."

you don't seem too pleased with him though

"we agreed to never speak again, or so I thought..."

"are you stupid or are you just playing the stupid card to be released?" he'd say

though as soon as you burst and yell at him about a situation he's not familiar with, he's starting to understand a bit more

you're not from here, not anywhere in Teyvat at least, and by the way you're talking to him as if you know him, he assumed correctly that you're from an alternate reality, where he's also present

though despite his correct assumption, he demands answers and you cannot be allowed any kind of freedom until he gets them

you tell him your story and how in your world, a version of himself exists and that you were briefly married, though split because he was too much of a control/power freak for you and your daughter

he disagrees with the last part about him being a control/power freak ofc but

he decides he'll keep you around, against your wishes

one, because you can become useful if your resurrection abilities are awoken; you'd be able to save many fallen Fatui soldiers, with more training so you don't run out of energy ofc

and two, he doesn't think his other self would miss you very much if you're both on bad terms, he sure would miss such a pretty face if you were to leave though, that's for sure...

so, he's going to keep you around, so he can help train/get used to your electro vision. it works best that way since he has the same vision and can train you more efficiently (I think Scara has electro powers, just an assumption!)

he will also hopefully be able to awaken your resurrection abilities and if you can't, well then sorry you're disposable

overtime, all the Harbingers tease him about his little crush and he either denies it or strongly provokes it cause his ego is through his fucking hat

exhibit a. literally doesn't care that he's caught by childe staring at you train and will say something like, "and? you're just jealous she's not interested in you like she is me."

exhibit b. will throw a fit if someone accuses him and says he has, "no room for crushes or love." even if he was somewhat capable of it in your world...

3.22.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #albedo #albedo x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader

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homosociallyyours · 3 years ago

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you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but do you mind explaining about more about how you identify with she/they pronouns? I’ve been using she/her because even though I feel connected to she/they I’m afraid to use them because I feel like I need to be entirely nonbinary or like… idk im afraid because I feel like personally, I feel partially binary, I don’t feel NON binary completely because I feel like a girl, like I do, but I also feel like a little bit more than that sometimes? but I’m scared of like… using pronouns that don’t belong to me or something? or not being able to explain myself if someone asks me if I’m nonbinary or something :// just stressed and feel like everything I read online talks about “you’re either a girl or you’re nonbinary” and not much that explains she/they other than “non binary people who also like to be called she sometimes but they’re not girls”

Hi nonny!!

Thank you for this ask! I feel like it might've taken a lot to ask about this stuff and I really appreciate you sharing with me ♡

First off I wanna say that the way you're talking about your identity is very close to how I was thinking about myself when I was struggling with using she/they a few years ago. Like-- what will I say if someone asks, how do I know I really fit, what if I'm co-opting an identity that isn't mine?

I, too, worried that maybe I felt "too okay" with being a woman sometimes. Like what percentage of my life do I need to feel like not a woman to be non-binary? 😅

What helped me deal with those feelings and accept that I'm non-binary enough was realizing that there IS no percentage. There's no cut off line; being non-binary isn't like trying to decide if you can ride a roller coaster where you stand next to something that says you must be this tall to ride. You're non-binary enough even if you only feel like "not a girl" every other Friday!

My personal label is actually genderqueer, which also kinda helped me navigate the switch, because I realized that while I do sometimes feel ok with "being a woman" I don't usually feel like that means the same thing it means to, say, my sister (a cis woman). And while I went to a women's college and have definitely enjoyed spaces that are primarily for women, when I look back I can see all the ways I felt different from a lot of the cis women I was with. Almost like they got a book I didn't at some point?

It also helped me to realize that, for the most part, other non-binary and LGBTQ+ people very rarely question someone's pronouns, and if they do it's often as a way of sharing their own fears and worries. I think that's probably different online in a lot of cases (people feel fine doing a lot of inappropriate and rude things online that they wouldn't in person), but you also have the right to say that you don't want to explain yourself OR that you're a work in progress!

There's nothing wrong with trying out a different pronoun or name, especially among friends and supportive folks. Tumblr/the internet can be great for that, actually, so it's a good place to test it out.

Finally, a big thing for me was the feeling I got when I heard someone refer to me as they in a conversation. Like I just smiled reflexively bc it felt GOOD!

So. Basically: you're not doing harm to anyone by trying out she/they pronouns! There is room beneath the big queer and trans umbrellas for everyone, and anyone who tries to make you think otherwise is operating from a place of fear and scarcity.

I hope you feel loved and supported and welcome and if you ever wanna message me on or off anon to talk about things you're welcome to!!

#identity #on gender #genderqueer #non-binary #long post #text post #anonymous #answers #rambled a bit #and sorry for typos I'm on my phone so I'm sure i got autocorrected a few times

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dreamsister81 · 4 years ago

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Jeff and MI:

By age, you fit in the G.I.T generation, but you obviously are not one of them...

These facilities are a mystery to me. There they tell you only one thing: hurry up! This leads you nowhere, afterwards your own children run away from you. Through these trainings you get to know women, you get to know men, music is inoculated into people who have no feeling for it; then they can only scare other people or insult them...

I was in this terrible place too, by the way-G.I.T That was a complete waste of time, apart from the theoretical lessons and the friends that I had there. Otherwise: an absolute wrong decision.

How long have you studied there?

One year, the normal program. They give you tons of material, you have to absorb everything, you practice, you are tested and you go to the next course. An intensive support with development is simply not possible. I did so many things: theory, single string technique, jazz class, rock class, all sorts of genres. My friend John was teaching bass there, and he once said that there is not a single teacher at the institute who says to the students, "OK, you're learning all this stuff here now, you're learning how to entertain people and you're learning to learn. But do you even know that there is no one in the universe other than yourself who plays the music you play? " John left the school then. For me it was all a joke that cost me $ 3,900. People interested in music should take private lessons somewhere, start a band, do something with people who like them and have what it takes. These schools are a scene in their own right, a very small, secluded world-the music, on the other hand, is gigantic and open. If you don't notice it, you miss a lot of magic, pain, development...(thinks) and rock! Apart from Paul Gilbert, there was no one there who really rocked. Session musicians are bred there; and at the end of the year you get a piece of paper that says, "Now you have the skills to become a professional musician." Well, congratulations! And then you look for jobs and play what other people want. But that's not all the music, there's something else isn't there? Where's the music coming from? From your own head or stomach, or the concepts of the people you work for?-Gitarre & Bass, October, 1995

I had a friend named John Humphrey. I went to this really crappy guitar school for a year, and he used to teach there, he was a bass teacher. And then he left, and we ended up being roommates later on, after I graduated. This is the kind of school where you give them a shitload of money in order to spend a year learning their curriculum.

What was it, G.I.T. (Guitar Institute of Technology in Los Angeles)?

Yeah, it was G.I.T.. They give you their curriculum, and it's not too comprehensive, but it's just enough, and then you can [snaps his fingers] move on to the next thing. And pretty soon you have all this shit inside you and then they give you this paper that says you have what it takes to be a professional musician.

It's a rock-oriented thing, isn't it?

In the end, I think, the only true product of that kind of learning is to get you gigs on the studio circuit and to get you gigs on the session guy circuit.

So, Lee Ritenour went there or something?

G.I.T. was started by Howard Roberts, the guy who played the wah-wah guitar on the theme to Shaft. And this other guy named Pat Hayes. I don't know. It just seemed like a racket, really. John said a lot of things to me that stuck in my mind. He said that there was nobody who stopped you, sat you in a room and said, okay, we have all these artists that you're learning the licks from, you have your guitar heroes, your virtuoso lust objects. But there's nobody who can make the kind of music you can make now except for you. And you can make it now. You don't even have to know how to go fast. And that makes all the sense to me in the world. It's also kind of an unseen process, that concept, originality. It's like that in all the education systems; there's never any real...identity education, self-generative identity art sort of thing, to be yourself. If everybody in Melbourne had a Wurlitzer organ and had the passion to sing something or make something, you'd have hundreds of thousands of different styles, if they were coming exactly from only their DNA, only their makeup, and their emotional percepts, their idea about what art is. You could have way-removed genres from what is already accepted, avante-garde country-rock-punk-folk-whatever. It's unlimited. But for some reason, the conventions always take over and there's a very ready and powerful formula to step into...

Those are the type of [formula-derived] players who can say, "Well, I was listening to the radio in 1967 and I heard the guitar solo in Jimi Hendrix's 'All Along the Watchtower,' and that guitar sound, that tone, would work perfectly for this television commercial."

Yeah. See? "Stealing from the greats, that's okay." That's right. Once I stopped in [at G.I.T.] years later, when I was on tour going through L.A., just to see what it was like. They've got a completely high-tech, multi-million dollar facility...

More so than when you had been there?

Way more. When I was there, it was just a ragtag bunch of teachers, and they had all left by then. They had video facilities and a class for stage moves and all kinds of things. And I saw this guy who was working the desk, the guy who watches the door. He had a bass on, and he was practicing his Nirvana chops! He was playing "In Bloom" on his bass, way up on his chest, jazz-fusion style, to the Nirvana song. I thought, oh shit--he was practicing his grunge riffs! He was getting his grunge down! Best fucking thing you can do, if you have the interest, is go to a private teacher, go someplace, some college, and learn theory. That was something I really enjoyed, actually, something that wasn't totally pointless. Theory meaning the meaning of the musical nomenclature. I was attracted to really interesting harmonies, stuff that I would hear in Ravel, Ellington, Bartok.-Double Take, February 29, 1996

Once the site of a seakeasy and a bra factory, the 30,000-square-foot quarters were now the home of Musicians Institute, a vocational school for anyone who considered himself or herself a serious musician. With its wooden desks and chipped-tile hallways, MI resembled any other urban school, but at those desks, student guitarists and drummers studied scales and power chords in hopes of becoming the next Eddie Van Halen or Neil Peart, the flashy drummer with Rush. On their way to class each morning, flaxen-haired guitar gods in training could be spotted holding their guitars and practicing licks as they walked down Hollywood Boulevard.

Jeff had heard about Musicians Institute (and its subdivision, the Guitar Institute of Technology) while in high school and told everyone it was his one and only destination. However, potential superstardom did not run cheap. The school charged $4,000 for its one year course, and by the time Jeff Graduated from Loara High School, Mary Guibert was beginning to fall on hard financial times as she went in and out of jobs. In need of money for herself and her two sons, she prematurely broke into a $20,000 fund earmarked for Jeff, but only after he tured nineteen. Once Mary proved to the courtsthat Jeff needed it for his education, he and Mary received it a year early. In a deep irony, the father Jeff had barely met and increasingly resented would be paying his son's way through music school.

On graduation night, September 15, 1985, at the Odyssey in Granada Hills in the San Fernando Valley, Jeff, Stoll, and Marryatt closed the ceremony by playing Weather Report's "Pearl On the Half Shell."-from Dream Brother

With its 30-odd thousand feet of floor space and row upon row of "labs", where hopeful guitar heroes could jam with such shit-hot players as Scott Henderson, LA's Musician's Institute must have seemed like nirvana for someone like Jeff Buckley, trapped as he was behind the Orange Curtain. According to his buddy Chris Dowd, that's exactly why Buckley enrolled there, arriving just before autumn, 1984, bankrolled by $4,000 that Mary managed to squeeze from a Tim Buckley trust fund.

Originally known as the Guitar Institute, which in itself says plenty, the school was opened in 1977. Drawing on the educational philosophy of journeyman guitarist Howard Roberts, it was co-founded and managed by Los Angeles music businessman Pat Hicks, "a real shyster opportunist", in the words of Tom Chang, an expat Canadian who would become very tight with Jeff Buckley during their two years at the Institute. In 1978, thr Bass Institute was opened, followed by the Percussion Institute two years later. Desppite Hicks' questionable business ethics-amongst other things, he'd hire students as cheap labour to do essential maintenance work on the building, which led to Buckley being hired as an electrician's assistant soon after graduating-he did manage to persuade well regarded players and bands to lecture, and play alongside, the hopefuls who'd enrolled there.

What Buckley lacked up in "front" he clearly made up for in ambition. That was proved, in spades, by Buckley's graduation performance which was played out on September 15, 1985, at a venue called the Odyssey in Granada Hills. While the sonic crush and enviable chops of Rush and Led Zeppelin still rocked the world of this Orange County teen, Buckley had also developed a real taste for such "noodlers" as Weather Report.

The number chosen by Buckley for graduation was their "D Flat Waltz" (not "Pearl On The Half-Shell", as documented elsewhere, which they'd performed at a previous event), a typically complicated few minutes of Weather Report neo-fusion-a "really cool piece, very involved", according to Tom Chang-and a standout from their 1983 set Domino Theory. But Buckley, accompanied by Stoll on drums and Marryatt on bass, didn't just play the piece, he also wrote the individual parts out beforehand for the band.-from A Pure Drop

MI pics by me

#jeff buckley #MI #Musicians Institute #GIT #mylove #supremebeing #favorite #music #jeff places

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thestarssystem · 4 years ago

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hello! same anon who asked the last question about being able to send an ask! i've been having questions about whether or not i could be an osdd system (1b to be specific) but i can't find answers to sone questions so i was hoping you could help me out? it's really long, sorry:(

1. the thing i have the most issues with is alters fronting. i don't exactly know how it feels to have another alter fronting and taking control of the body. there's only been a few times where i've genuinely felt like i wasn't in control of my body & felt trapped in it but other than that, whenever all my other alters(?) fronted i would still generally be able to control the body. i don't know how to explain it. for example, an alter who i think is a protector was fronting last night but besides the name and some traits, everything was pretty much still the same, like as if i was the protector? and i'm not the most knowledgeable on how osdd works, but should i be feeling atleast somewhat out of my control ?? it's happened pretty much every time an alter(?) has fronted(?) and i ended up in a really bad mood after trying to validate the possibility i might have osdd because i didn't know if this was real or if i was just being delusional. and this is kinda a silly question but when another alter fronts, thinking is still the same, right? like they can still talk in their head like a singlet would and such

2. 'voices' in your head - a lot of systems i've come across generally have the voices. i don't, atleast i don't think i do. again, i don't know how it would be if i experienced it. is it like how someone would talk to you irl? or is it more vague? or is it like, more of a feeling that you can't really 'hear' but yk it's saying that?

3. i can't exactly communicate with my alters, if i have any. i don't know how to and even then it feels really odd trying to talk to myself and again, i start to feel dumb/delusional again because osdd may not even be the case.

4. similar to the last thing, is it normal to 'talk' to your system? like last night for example, it's a blurry memory now but i remember 'we're going to bed now' 'we're gonna do this and then sleep' and such, despite the fact i know we can't really communicate. i think another alter was fronting then

4. i have trouble recognizing my alters as seperate identities and people, and rather tend to think they're pieces of me. so like, if another alter were to do something, and later i fronted, and if i would talk about what the other alter did i would still use "i did" rather than "(other alter) did". i'd just like some advice on this part

5. i have no idea whether or not systems i've met have 'different talents' but i've seen it going around a lot. to be more specific, my 'talents' or other stuff has never really changed. i usually still have social anxiety, my triggers are usually still the same, i've never suddenly gotten good at anything, and so on. is it a normal/common thing for systems for that not to happen?

6. memory. i have really bad memory, which actually led me to did/osdd (+ 8/9 year old me going "why do i feel like two people" and googling it years ago), and i always have trouble recalling what happened. after i do anything and i try to think back to it - it's just foggy. i can sometimes remember a bit of what happened, but generally i'll have to think for a bit and the visual memory of it will just be really really blurry. this happens pretty much every day but i have no idea if it does the same with important events because nothing important has really happened. and another thing - when you switch, do you still remember friends/online friends/family? i've had times where they've seemed odd(?) and somewhat unrecognizable but i've always known it's them, same with trauma and other stuff. i've always kinda known about it.

7. i've tested some things multiple times. for example, a few days or weeks ago, i was doing and typing stuff on discord in a server just for me, for fun. when i went away and checked back later, i know that it was me who did it, just not,, me, yk? like it happened with my own fingers and hands, i didn't have exact visual memories that i did it, but i had memory of doing it, so like, i knew, despite the fact another alter could've been the one doing it. same thing happened last night - now that i look back at the account i, or my alter, created, i can tell it wasn't exactly 'me', but i still had memory doing it. and it's never been like "what is this? i have zero memory of doing this" or something like that

8. i don't really have roles for my alters. well, some do. for example i think a protector (and maybe caretaker as well) was fronting last night. i just have trouble with the roles? if that makes sense. unless it comes naturally, like the protector for example, it's just kinda really hard for me to make stuff out. i also have dpdr & i dissociate and i believe that influences on how i view my identity and how i can't really make out stuff, even stuff like emotions, my opinion on something, who's fronting, etc.

9. as far as i know, systems have an 'inner world', right? i know some systems that don't, but i'm not sure if i have it and i dont know how to find out if i do

to add on, i'm kinda worried i might just be thinking i have osdd because i've been exposed(?) to it and that i might just be delusional and that i'm just making people up

lastly, would it be a good idea to try to reach out to alters? and if i should, how would i do so? thank you :D !! again, i'm really really sorry this was so long! don't stress yourself out on this please:]

- fox

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained mental health professionals! All of the information we give is coming from our own experience as a system, or from research we have done! We always recommend that, if at all possible, you speak to a therapist about OSDD/DID!

hello! thanks for you questions! i’ll do my best to answer everything haha. I’m going to section everything off in the same way you did, but there may be some overlap between questions!

1.)I’m gonna start my answer to this by saying that switching feels and looks different for every system. There is no one way to switch. What happens for us when we fully switch is the obvious dissociative feeling, and then it feels like we’re “falling” almost and then after that falling feeling, we’ve switched. With your experience you’re describing, though, it seems more like co-conscious or co-fronting. Co-conscious is typically a feeling like you’re still in full control of the body, but another alter is in the ‘passenger seat of the car’ and is giving their thoughts on what’s happening on the outside. Co-fronting is more of a feeling where you feeling like you’re half in control of your body, and another alter has half control of your body. This can be a moment (that i’ve vaguely described on my tumblr actually) of feeling like “this isn’t my hand. I’m not controlling that arm.” However, that feeling can also happen with depersonalization. To help you tell the difference, i think it could be helpful to journal when/if you get those feelings and if you “feel” different, like you could actually be another alter. —/ part b.) for my system at least, thinking is still the same, regardless of who’s fronting. I’m not sure if that’s the same for other systems, but i’ve never heard or seen anyone talking about thinking being any different, but i have heard systems discussing something i’ll address in #2

2.) so, in my experience, my system does not audibly hear each other’s voices. Some systems do, and some systems have a different form of communication. Since i can’t talk about audible voices, i’ll only talk about ‘intrusive thought’ communication, which is what we experience. For my system, we get an intrusive thought of sorts. It’s just a thought, but we can tell who it’s coming from (honestly not really sure how, it’s just a feeling. I can always tell who is telling me something) That thought is different from normal thinking though, because it doesn’t feel like it’s coming from us and it has a different... vibe?? idk i honestly can’t really think of how to explain it lmaoo. To continue my answer from part 1, alters can use something called “passive influence” which is where they ‘control’ your thoughts to get what they want. An easy example is if someone asks what you (the fronting alter) want to drink and you want to answer water, but another alter wants sprite, they can use passive influence to say that YOU want sprite, when really you don’t. That’s the only way I can really think of the act of thinking being different though haha.

3.) my system doesn’t really have the best internal communication, but that’s the case for a lot of systems, especially new ones. It takes time and determination. One of the ways i’ve seen suggested to help with internal communication is before you go to sleep, when you’re in the calm and peaceful state, just ask into your head if anyone is there and wants to talk to you. Let them knower they’re safe and that you want to talk. Keep the convo friendly and ask them about themselves (i.e their name, age, role {if they have one}, favorite color, etc)

4.) to be completely honest, it’ll just take practice to change your habit of using “i did.” I don’t know how old you are, but you went your entire life up until this point believing you were a singlet. Using “i did” is still natural for you to use as a default. Try to catch yourself as (or after) you say “i did” and try to correct yourself and overtime that habit will hopefully be broken. The same goes for not really recognizing your alters. You went your whole life thinking everything was just ‘you’ (the host) so now, when discussing OSDD, it might be hard to really pinpoint who is who. That’ll just take time though. But don’t force your alters to fit a specific mold you made for them. Everything with figure itself out eventually

5.) what you described (with different talents and different mental health issues) doesn’t happen to my system and i believe it doesn’t happen to a good portion of systems, especially OSDD systems. The only thing that really changes for my system from alter to alter is preferences, such as food, instruments (my system knows how to play 8 instruments and each alter prefers one over the other lmao), and hobbies (like reading, painting, and writing) HOWEVER, we all still can paint and play all 8 of our instruments with the same skill. Our skill level doesn’t change between alter, just our desire to do that activity (if that makes any sense lmao)

6.) problems with memory and forgetting things is not a sign of OSDD-1b. Dissociative amnesia is only a sign of OSDD-1a and DID. I think it might be helpful to keep track of your switches and see if your memory “fog” overlaps with it. If yes, then you should probably consider check out OSDD-1a or DID. If it doesn’t, my honest suggestion is to consider talking to a doctor/therapist about memory problems and short term memory loss. (also to answer your question asking if we remember online friends: yes, we always remember other people, regardless of who’s fronting)

7.) this relates back to the memory question. OSDD-1b is not characterized by forgetfulness or memory problems. With OSDD-1b, you will never have that moment of “I don’t remember doing this” unless there is a VERY specific reason (i.e. a traumatic event that needs to be hidden) It is normal, on the other hand, to know that another alter did something, rather than you, and still have memory of it.

8.) i think roles are difficult for a lot of systems. I know my system had (and still has) a little bit of trouble with roles. My biggest advice is actually something i’m following rn and that’s to not force roles. Let alters naturally choose their roles. It may take a really long time though, but that’s okay. It might help to do some research as well. Google all the different alter types and see if you can pinpoint some that fit your system (like i said though, don’t forget those roles! let them have the ultimate decision)

9.) My system doesn’t have an inner world. We have something called Aphantasia which makes it impossible to see images in our head. There are systems who don’t have an inner world, however i don’t know if there is a specific reason or not. Ive heard that meditating can help you access the inner world, as well as, once again, trying to access it before you fall asleep. However, because I can’t have an inner world, i haven’t done much research on the topic and I suggest that you try and find a method that works for you :)

closing points: When considering any type of mental health problem/ mental disorder, make sure you’re not bending the diagnostic criteria to fit you. With OSDD, there are slight differences between every system, but nothing major that would require serious bending of the criteria. At the very end, you asked if you should try and reach out to your alters. You DEFINITELY should. They’re scared and confused, just like you. I think my answer for 3.) gives a good, easy starting point for alter communication c:

I hope these answers helped, at least a little. Good luck and stay safe xx

-the stars system (written by multiple alters all at different times)

~sorry if there’s any typos~

#osdd protector #osdd positivity #did osdd #osdd problems #osdd alter #osdd community #actually osdd #osdd support #osdd system #osdd #osdd 1b #dissociative system #dissociative alters #other specified dissociative disorder

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jungnoir · 5 years ago

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hello!! truth be told, i am not entirely certain if your requests are open and stuff, if they aren't, please forgive me, it's honestly my first time requesting so i'm really worried that i am gonna mess up, please don't hate me :((( do you think there's a chance that you'll write some youngk or wonpil fluff (or rival!au,,, or anything would be great,,, honestly) any time soon? if not, that's totally okay, i hope i didn't bother you, thank you regardless and have a great day!!

anatomically correct heart-shaped pretzel;

kim wonpil | food service is way more competitive and romantic than you’d think, believe it or not. rival!au. mall!au. | 1.6k words. | fluff, humor.

a/n: ahhh you’re okay!!! thank you for being so polite. I’m not officially accepting requests as I’m sort of just writing whenever I want to and dropping in. usually, I will announce that I’m writing requests on my blog and leave it open for a certain amount of time. however, I’m being pretty casual with things so I totally don’t mind this request at all! here’s rival kiosk workers at the mall with wonpil

“He’s at it again. Look at him; he’s got an evil look in those puppy dog eyes, that dead customer service smile, that high-pitched “have a good day!” pep in his step. I want to wring his neck like a Shake Weight.”

Your coworker, Dowoon, pauses in the middle of refilling the fruity pebbles toppings to give you a disturbed look, “Okay, Jesus. What is wrong with you?”

You glare right back, “It’s fucking pretzel boy Wonpil showing off again.”

“You mean doing his job?”

Grumbling a “showing off” under your breath, you turn around again to continue your angry brooding when you happen to catch Wonpil’s eyes between serving customers. His friendly smile quickly turns malicious, the boy having the audacity to drop his eyelid down in a wink before going about his business again, annoyingly unbothered by your seething not 20 feet away.

Dowoon was convinced that you were paranoid. Ever since that new pretzel kiosk popped up next to your once very thriving frozen yogurt shop, you’d been noticing business trailing elsewhere. People were trading gummy bears for salty bread and Wonpil’s “personable” attitude, something that you couldn’t quite get over. He wasn’t personable at all. You knew the real truth and yet no one believed you.

It had all started two months back when they’d first opened. You had thought Wonpil to look actually pleasant to talk to, deciding to befriend your new competition to be friendly which, unfortunately, massively backfired. Perhaps you were too bubbly, too optimistic on the first go, because Wonpil seemed to immediately bristle upon greeting. That was your first sign that things were going steadily downhill.

Your next sign was how aware you were that you were dominating the conversation. It seemed like no matter how much you tried to fish out of Wonpil, he wouldn’t budge. His answers were short, blunt, and disconcerting to say the least. After a few failed attempts, you’d promptly agreed with yourself that perhaps Wonpil was just one of those people who went to work, did their job, and left it at that. But then the customers came rolling in.

He was a totally different guy, the bastard.

Everything. From the way he lit up to the way his voice rose several octaves to the way he laughed out loud at every terrible customer joke. It was a pang to your admittedly offended heart. Was there something wrong with you? Did you smell? Was he just having a bad day earlier? It had thrown you pretty off for the rest of your shift, even catching the attention of one of your other usually aloof co-workers: Sungjin.

You just couldn’t place it. You obviously didn’t want to think he simply disliked you and only you, but it was all you had to go on. Why was he so averse to you when you’d done nothing to him? ...as far as you knew, anyway.

He was even nice to Dowoon! What did Dowoon have that you didn’t?!

And then, then, Wonpil started to notice you, but for all the wrong reasons.

It was through knowing smirks and condescending winks that you began to kindle your delicate hatred-baby for Wonpil. He knew he was peeving you off. He knew that when you’d watch him with that barely veiled look of yearning in your eyes for acceptance that he could simply look your way and you’d fluster. He wasn’t kind. He was a jerk. Wonpil was an absolute asshole and no one seemed to think so except you.

Your co-workers called it a friendly rivalry. You called it war.

He was super keen on stealing your customers too, drawing them in from your shop to get them to buy those damn pretzels, just to see you squirm and fumble to turn their attention back. When he’d win, he’d get this smug look on his face and gnaw his bottom lip with a hooded gaze cast your way, practically relishing in your anger and humiliation. You’d dreamt of all the ways you could make that little pipsqueak sing for mercy-

“Hey! Can you do your job or do I need to stand you on the other side of the counter as a cardboard cutout?” Dowoon’s annoyance is not easy to ignore even in the midst of your daydream, and unfortunately, that meant that you would have to come back to your reality. Your cold, Wonpilly reality.

With a lack of vigor that could rival a pubescent boy in band practice, you continue your shift in a disgruntled haze. You don’t want to think you’re being childish about it, but you can often feel Wonpil’s eyes on you while you work, and it’s enough to make you rightfully paranoid. You know the minute you look up that he’s going to have some patronizing expression on his face and, honestly, you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself back from punching it clean off. Only fifteen more minutes, you think to yourself, counting down til the end of your shift. Fifteen more minutes and then I’m out of here.

Dowoon eventually leaves early, mentioning he has a date tonight and that he doesn’t want to be late, and you mumble an affirmative to clean and lock up for him. You’ve got no such plans for the evening, instead planning to relax and enjoy the weekend Wonpil-free. As customers slow to almost nothing, you decide it’s a good time to start closing up.

As you’re sweeping away the debris on the floor, you hear the sound of a fist knocking against glass and decide to look up, ready to shoo away a customer who came too late. Instead of a customer, it’s something much worse.

“Hey,” Wonpil says, one hand in his puffy jacket pocket, the other holding a small take-away bag from the pretzel place, “heading out tonight?”

You’re so stunned by his attempt at casual conversation that you forget to be mean, staring at him in confusion, “Uh... no. Why?”

Wonpil looks both relieved and surprised, clutching the bag a little closer to himself, “Oh... uh, well it’s just that... you know, it’s Valentine’s day. I assumed you had a date.”

Your brain is a Windows blue screen right now. Was it... oh, fuck, how could you have missed it? Today was February the 14th. You flush soon after. No, you had no date. “Nope... but I bet you do. If you came here to gloat about it, don’t even bother. I’m too tired to deal with you right now.”

A look of hurt flashes across Wonpil’s visage, “I didn’t... that’s not why I came over.”

“Then why?” You can’t hide the tired exasperation in your voice, “You closed up already, didn’t you? Just go home. I’m not in the mood.”

That same hurt flashes again and part of you almost wants to feel bad about it.

Wonpil reaches into the bag with a trembly bottom lip, “I-I came over to apologize. And to give you this.”

In his hand now is a heart shaped pretzel, but not just the traditional heart shape. No, it was anatomically correct. Scarily so. It was also piping hot and looked rather tasty after a long day of work. You rarely indulged yourself in the enemy’s goods, but... “What do you mean, apologize?”

“I uh... I kinda totally screwed up. The thing is, I don’t hate you like you think I do. I actually really like you. I know that I don’t show it and it’s not much of an excuse, but it’s just... when I first met you, I was really, really nervous. You were so kind and funny and attractive... I froze up,” your eyes begin to bulge as he holds the pretzel out to you, “and I couldn’t act normally around you. Then people started saying we were rivals so I ran with it. Anything to get you to look at me.”

You check Wonpil’s face to see if he’s lying. He’s not, as far as you can tell, but you’d been a bad judge of his character before, “That’s really stupid, Wonpil.”

Instead of looking upset however, he laughs lightheartedly... like you’d kinda hoped he would laugh around you all along. It’s a sweet sound. You don’t even want to wring his neck right now. “I know. I don’t expect that to fix anything, but I still wanted to give you something. You can stomp it or throw it in the trash or feed it to the raccoon couple near Macy’s, I don’t mind. I just wanted you to know that I’m a really stupid guy who has a kind of embarrassingly huge crush on you. Happy Valentine’s day, (Name). I hope... I hope that we can at least be friends. Or enemies with a truce.”

Sincere. He was actually being sincere right now.

You drop the dustpan and push the swinging half-door open to leave your little kiosk, watching Wonpil as he turns to face you, pretzel still outstretched. You take it form his hands and watch his shoulders deflate in relief. A little overwhelmed with the fact that he’d just confessed to you, you test the waters, “So uh... you busy, Wonpil?”

The boy blinks rapidly, “N-No. Why?”

You take a bite from the warm pretzel and almost let out a humiliating moan in content. Goddamn, this boy made some mean pretzels. How could you ever turn that down? “There’s a movie playing in the theater upstairs in an hour. You know, that really bad remake? You wanna catch it together?”

Wonpil lets out an immediate “Yes. But... what do you wanna do until then?”

For the first time in two months, you allow Wonpil one real, warm smile once more, “You can start by finally answering all those questions I asked about you two months ago, for a start. I’d like to get to know my rival a little better.”

#wonpil scenarios #wonpil imagines #wonpil x reader #wonpil fluff #kim wonpil #day6 scenarios #day6 imagines #day6 x reader #day6 fluff #day6 #majwrites #i'll... put this in my masterlist later its 2 am #askfjasijf

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Fraze & Ava

Fraze: Come home now Ava: I'm at Kylie's, we just ordered food Fraze: You didn't hear me say please 'cause I ain't Fraze: It's not a request Ava: Why do I need to, let's start there Fraze: You know why Ava: So I'm not allowed to go out now? Ava: We can talk later, when you've calmed down Fraze: I've cancelled two meetings, we can talk now Ava: I didn't ask you to do that Ava: God's sake Fraze: You want my attention, you've got it, like Ava: Get your own lines, yeah Ava: I don't want your attention, sorry to say Fraze: I've got a sister, I know what shit boyfriends are for, yeah Ava: Seriously? Ava: 🙄 Fraze: I also get what lads your own age are like, but you've got a bit far, don't you reckon? Fraze: *gone Ava: You don't get it at all if you think it's anything to do with anyone but me and him Fraze: Nah, what I don't get is why him Ava: Why anyone? Ava: I like him, it's as simple as that Fraze: Give me one thing you've got in common that ain't your postcode Fraze: He's at a different stage in his life, Ava, it's as simple as that Ava: Well we lack common familial DNA, how's that Ava: That's up for us to decide, not you Fraze: You really don't wanna start taking the piss right now Ava: It's literally not your business, you've never shown any interest in anyone else I've dated Ava: so I'm not going to sit here and justify anything to you now Fraze: Date someone your own age without any kids or a wife and we can go back to that Ava: And miss out on all this great attention? Ava: You're alright Fraze: You ain't half as funny as you reckon, and neither is this Ava: That's alright then 'cos I'm not joking about it Fraze: You are if you think I'm gonna pat you on the head for this, it ain't happening Fraze: You've got an important year of school to get on with, uni after that Ava: Can you please get a grip Ava: We don't all do things for head pats Ava: and? Fraze: Don't talk to me like that Ava: Then try talking to me like an adult Fraze: Try acting like one Ava: By doing what you want? Ava: Sure Fraze: By not storming out the second you don't get what you want, for a start Ava: You can't talk Fraze: I'm the one who started this conversation, if you ain't ready to have it, you ain't ready to do it Fraze: Throwing bullshit out like 'it ain't my buisiness' or 'you like him' as though any of it is that fucking simple Ava: What conversation? Ava: You've shouted all of this before I left Ava: but I'm pouting 'cos I'm not getting what I want, alright dad Fraze: You didn't listen then either Fraze: You want me to be sorry that it needs to be said, I ain't Fraze: You want me to be in the wrong for giving a shit about what you're doing, again, I ain't Ava: You know what they call repeating the same process and expecting a different outcome Ava: I'm not going to change my mind or change what I'm doing Ava: that's all there is to it, that's not up for debate because it's my decision, not yours, or a communal one Fraze: Neither am I, he's too old for you and he's got too much baggage Ava: So what? Fraze: So no good's gonna come of it Ava: You reckon Ava: but it already has Fraze: The honeymoon period's fucking boss, yeah? Fraze: Then what? Ava: More like it's nice when there's someone to come see you in hospital Fraze: Make up your mind, this is a dig at me or it ain't Ava: He's been there Fraze: I'm here Fraze: Talk to me Ava: I have Ava: you don't like what I'm saying that's your problem Fraze: Put yourself in my position Fraze: What's to like? Ava: You don't know him Ava: you give people a chance, that's how it works Fraze: It ain't about him, it's about you Fraze: I thought you had your head screwed on, that you knew what you were doing and could be trusted to get on with it Ava: I do Ava: I've not done anything wrong Ava: or changed what I've been doing Fraze: Bullshit, he's a married man Ava: And, you're really concerned about the sanctity of marriage now? Ava: It doesn't matter Fraze: I'm concerned if you're naive enough to fall for whatever sob story he's telling you Ava: Yeah, that's why I like him Ava: what the fuck is wrong with you all Ava: why is that who you think I am Fraze: You go through 'em, and there ain't nothing wrong in that, but he ain't some teenage boy Ava: Wow Fraze: Ask yourself what he sees in you, he's a grown man with responsibilities Ava: And I'm not a kid Fraze: Exactly, so grow up Fraze: He's using you 'cause his life is shit and you're gonna get hurt Ava: You grow up Ava: I can handle getting hurt Ava: I'm not going to not live my life in fear of Fraze: You can't save him, Ava Fraze: Don't fuck with your own future Ava: I'm not trying to, Jesus! Fraze: Nah, you're just having fun Fraze: And maybe it is fun now Fraze: See how fun you reckon it is when it ain't a secret any more Ava: It already isn't Fraze: Then stop Ava: I meant not a secret and you know it Fraze: Yeah right Ava: We're done here Fraze: You don't tell me when we're done Ava: Just did Ava: I'm staying here tonight Fraze: No, you ain't Ava: Yes I am Fraze: Come home or I'll bring you home Fraze: You don't wanna test me Ava: Yeah, you even remember where she lives? Ava: Doubt it Fraze: Try me Ava: I don't need to be there right now Fraze: If I tell you that you need to, you need to Fraze: End of Ava: No Fraze: If I get in this car, you're the only one who'll regret it Ava: I don't care Ava: make a scene Fraze: Fine Ava: You can't force me to go anywhere Fraze: We'll see, like Ava: Have fun Fraze: This ain't fun for me Ava: You think I'm going to apologize for anything now? Ava: No Fraze: I don't care Fraze: It ain't an apology I want Ava: You aren't getting what you want Fraze: No shit Ava: Then leave me alone Fraze: Look where that's got us Ava: This is not about you Fraze: Jesus Fraze: It's about you, the mistake you're making with this lad Ava: I can make mistakes if I want Ava: you can't stop me Fraze: That don't mean I'm gonna sit back and watch with my mouth shut Ava: Fine, you can waste your breath Fraze: It's the least of what I'm willing to do for you, you know that Fraze: I ain't never gonna stop trying, ever, with anything Ava: You can't expect me to be grateful about that when you're being totally unreasonable and insulting Fraze: You're my life, whatever I've gotta do to stop you from fucking up yours, I'm gonna do it Ava: I'm not fucking up my life Ava: nothing has changed Fraze: Not yet Fraze: How long before he's getting in the way of shit you wanna do with your mates, with uni? Fraze: He's not 17, he already has been Ava: He's not like that, at all Ava: and why do you suddenly think I'd let that happen Ava: if you give a shit about me, you should know who the fuck I am Fraze: People can hold you back without meaning to, I did it to your ma, I never wanted to drag her down, did I? Ava: Like mum would have let you if that's not what she wanted Fraze: She's better than me, she always has been Ava: No she's not Ava: and like your life is so shit, yeah Ava: what kind of cautionary tale do you think you can offer that even comes close to James' actual situation? Fraze: Our life is what we made it, so's yours gonna be Fraze: What do you want? Ava: I'm aware Ava: and I'm well aware of what I want too Fraze: What about him, what does he want? Ava: He literally has a job and just got his degree Ava: you all have no right to be so judgmental Fraze: It's concern Ava: 'cos you really vetted Rio out Ava: or any of the random coked-out skeletons Nancy has dated Ava: never mind the fact your own son had a kid not long after James had his, never mind you had Buster and Nancy not long after 16 either Fraze: You ain't your brother or your sister and I ain't trying to make the same mistakes Fraze: Or let you repeat mine Ava: Get over it Ava: You don't own the world's problems Ava: and you aren't the only decent people to have ever made them Fraze: Fuck's sake, Ava Fraze: He could be a saint and I wouldn't reckon he was good enough for you Ava: That's your issue, not his Fraze: You're my little girl, what do you want me to say? Ava: For God's sake Ava: I'm not a little girl now Fraze: I know Fraze: Gutted about it, like Ava: 🙄 Ava: Well I'm very sorry Ava: you'll have to deal with that too Fraze: Yeah Ava: I'll come back when we've eat, alright Fraze: Alright Ava: Okay? Fraze: I love you Ava: Let's not get crazy Ava: I love you too Fraze: And I'm sorry I weren't there when you got hurt Ava: It was just an accident Ava: not another planned attempt for some sweet, sweet attention Fraze: Piss off, I'm trying to have a heartfelt moment here Ava: Sure, now you are Ava: lead with something nice before attacking Fraze: I ain't in no position to judge anyone, yeah, I know that, and it honestly ain't the point Fraze: He'll be a decent enough lad if you like him Ava: Then don't use it as your first line of defense, yeah Ava: 'cos he is Ava: and like I said, and you put even more harshly, you've never given any of my many and varied boyfriends or girlfriends this degree of inspection Ava: you're assuming it's more serious and dramatic but it doesn't have to be Fraze: Come on, I'm doing my best Fraze: There's a reason your ma deals with this shit Ava: Oh yeah, she did great Ava: let's not saint her over it yet, like Fraze: Don't say a bad word about her to me, we ain't doing that Ava: Yeah, yeah Fraze: We're a team, simple as Ava: Yeah, it's just hilarious that you and Buster are trying to tell me anything when you won't listen to anyone about your spouses so Fraze: When you're in love and a lost cause, we'll all laugh it up Fraze: Until then, I'm gonna keep on at you Ava: Charming Fraze: I want better for you than anything I've ever done Ava: You're so dramatic Fraze: With good reason, life ain't been easy Ava: Okay, write your memoirs Fraze: I ain't got time for that, kid Ava: What a coincidence 😏 Fraze: Eat your food and get home Ava: Oh now you don't want me to hang out with my friends Fraze: Not her, she's well dramatic Ava: 😂 Fraze: I need a drink and your ma definitely does, so don't make me come looking for you Ava: Oh yeah, I really owe you one Ava: pfft Fraze: You can have one when you show your face, how's that? Ava: Bribery with alcohol? Ava: 10/10 parenting Fraze: Sounds about right Ava: 👌

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another-sonic-blog · 5 years ago

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The Dark Prince: Prologue: The Dark Prince

The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I didn't want this face, I didn't like it. I didn't like the small freckles on my cheeks, my round nose, nor the way my double chin would show up every time I smiled.

Just everything about myself... disgusted me.

It has begun with my body, I wasn't well proportioned. There was fat in the parts I didn't want it to be, and flat skin where I wanted something else to be there. I thought that my face would make up for the mistake but as I stared into the mirror, I realized that the only good thing about it, was the green tint in my eyes.

It wasn't enough, I wasn't enough.

I tried to apply makeup once to see if that would help me, but the moment I stepped out into the street, people staring at me with a look of concern in their face, I decided to never do it again.

And no I wasn't doing it to get a boy's attention. I was doing it for myself, so one day I could finally look at the mirror and like what I see.

"Are you sure about this honey?"

Rouge, my closest friend looked at me confused. She was probably the most beautiful creature alive, I had to admit that sometimes I would get jealous of her. She was blessed with good looks and she knew it. She had confidence and that only made her more beautiful.

"Yes, I think this would make me feel better"

"I don't see a problem with "fixing" something you don't like about yourself in order to get more confidence. But I do believe that that confidence you are seeking for is not suddenly going to appear because you had a nose job", Rouge rolled around my bed trying to get a better look at myself. I pretended to be doing work on my laptop, indeed to say she was so beautiful that sometimes it would intimidate me. I didn't look away from my laptop but I could feel her staring at me.

"I'll try to work on it Rouge, I know it sounds kinda sudden but I have honestly been thinking about it for a year now... I think this is definitely for me", I added as I took enough courage to turn my chair to face her.

"Are you sure this is not to please a boy or anybody else, right?", Rouge straightened up as she gently rested herself on the edge of my bed, facing me directly to get her point across.

"Definitely but... don't you think it's a bit weird? I am 20 and I never had a boyfriend before."

"No, of course not! Everyone is different when it comes to dating, so don't ever feel pressure because of that."

But Amy did. Even her own parents found it strange that at 17 she had never brought home a boy before.

"Your mother and I wanted to ask you... if you like girls? Because if you do that's completely fine, we still love you and-"

Amy stopped listening, she couldn't tell her parents that it wasn't that she didn't like boys. It was that boys didn't like her.

"You are right."

Amy didn't sound completely satisfied and Rouged noticed that she only agreed with her to avoid an argument.

If Amy could just understand how she is way more than just 'pretty'.

Rouge pleaded for nothing but that.

"You were completely lost today's meeting, what's wrong with you?"

Rouge snapped out of her trance and noticed the 'Dark Prince' in front of her. Or so that's what the ladies in G.U.N. call him. She looked at Shadow and really wonder what the females see him. He was sarcastic, had terrible fashion sense and had an addiction to black coffee. Maybe it was because they were different species, but she definitely found Knuckles way more attractive than him.

"I know, I was just thinking about a friend."

"You are the leader of Team Dark, I believe you should really focus on meetings, especially in this one since the commander just explained our next mission.", Shadow said as he poured another cup of coffee into his mug.

"What?! Oh, Chaos...You are right, I should really separate my work with my personal life-."

Shadow then suddenly slide a notebook in front of Rouge. She looked at her side to find him taking a sip of his coffee delicately. "It's my notes, everything you need is there. Feel free to keep it." Shadow then sat down in front of her, sip by sip finishing his coffee.

Rouge smiled as she holds the notebook dearly. So this was why they called him the 'Dark Prince'. It wasn't only that, she remembered once that a co-worker of theirs had expressed how sad she was because they were closing the flower shop in front of G.U.N and she wouldn't be able to see the flowers from her window anymore.

The next morning, Rouge found Shadow placing flowers all over their co-workers' workplace.

At first, she thought that Shadow might like her, but it wasn't until she noticed that Shadow was just nice like that.

Like when the commander assistant had forgotten to write her report and Shadow stayed with her all night to help her finish it.

Or like when he helped the mechanic's team test their new vehicle's resistance with his Chaos Spear multiple times without telling them that it hurts him to do them constantly.

"Thank you."

"No problem... but it might help you telling me about this friend of yours if you want."

It wasn't just that, it was the small things. Shadow was extremely caring, he might not show it often. But Shadow cares for everyone in G.U.N. He listened to the entrance guard for three hours straight about how he had problems with his wife and never complained about it.

"Well...". Rouge adjusted herself, "It's about Amy, you remember her-"

Next thing she knew. Shadow had spilled his coffee from his mouth.

"Are you alright?!", Rouge had never seen Shadow spilled coffee like before and she had to admit that it was even comical.

"Yeah, the coffee was just too hot", Shadow tried to keep his cool but was failing at it miserably.

"Coffee is never too hot for you tho"

"It was this time."

"Well... like I was saying...", Rouge give one last look at Shadow before continuing her story. "Amy, it's going to have plastic surgery for her nose and I don't know, something about it doesn't fully convince me. I am not against plastic surgery but I feel like Amy definitely doesn't need it."

"Oh no, she absolutely does not need it. Has she seen herself in a mirror? She's completely gorgeous-." Shadow stopped himself, already cursing himself for not keeping his composure.

"I didn't know you had a thing for pink hedgehogs." Rouge teases him, who would have thought that the Dark Prince had a crush on Amy Rose.

Wait, it all made sense now. For some reason, every single Monday since a year ago, Shadow would get late to work. Instead of coming to work at 9:00, he would come at 9:30. Which is weird because Shadow being the Ultimate Life-form and being the perfectionist he is, it wouldn't seem he was the type to do that. Amy was the owner of her own business called "Momo Cafe."

Amy has told her once that every Monday, Shadow shows up to buy black coffee.

Rouge had never really thought on it before, she thought that it was just Shadow being the coffee lover that he was. But now that she thinks about...

Shadow had never liked coffee before Amy opened her cafe, which was around one year ago. Since then, Rouge had always seen Shadow with a cup of black coffee on his hand.

"Oh, Shadow you don't have a crush on Amy... You love her don't you?"

Shadow hated how good Rouge was at these things.

"Me? You perfectly know I don't have time for that.", Shadow tried to play it off but both of them knew that it was game over for him.

"True, you don't have time for that... but you know who does? Sonic.", Rouge already knew his weakness and was ready to play her cards well. "You know another thing? Amy told me that one of the reasons she was doing surgery was so Sonic could notice her."

"What? Why would she want the attention of that faker?", Shadow's voice raises and Rouge knew that he just needed a little push.

"Oh, well, Amy really wants a boyfriend and I don't blame her. After all, everyone needs affection once in a while and who better to give it to her than the worldwide hero Sonic the Hedgehog? It's not like there's someone out there as strong and confident like him..." Rouge just need one more sentence to finish him. "... or maybe there is?"

"What do you mean?"

She had him now.

"You know what I mean... there's a ton of boys who want to date Amy. She receives flowers every day from different guys at the cafe... maybe one of these days she would say yes to one of them."

"...oh..."

Rouge looked at Shadow who seems to be in deep thought. He kept taking sips of his coffee until he finished it and he stared in into the cup in silence.

Was this it? Really? All of this lies for nothing? Was Shadow not gonna do anything about it? She literally told him that Amy was willing to go under surgery in order to please society and he just gonna sit there and-

"Rouge, can you cover up for me for a while?"

Oh, there we go again, Dark Prince.

It was already late and the sun had begun to set. Amy was about to close her cafe for today. She pulled out her keys but as she looked into the inside of the cafe one last time, she noticed a figure behind her being reflected on the door's crystal. She turned around to find her number one customer, Shadow the Hedgehog.

"Hey, Amy"

"Hey, Shadow. How are you being? I haven't seen you since...well, this morning", Amy goggle a little bit and Shadow's heartbeat stopped for a second.

"Yeah, um actually I um... wanted to talk to you for a bit if you don't mind."

Amy really wasn't feeling like it but Shadow has become her number one client and he didn't want to disappoint just yet.

"Sure, would you like to come inside?", Amy made a gesture with her hand, showing the inside of the cafe. The lights were off but nothing that she couldn't handle. Shadow was ashamed to make Amy do so much for him but thought to himself that this was utterly necessary.

Shadow nodded and Amy turned around to open the door once again.

The sight was lovely. It was quiet, but not too much. The lights were dim and the aroma of the coffee made the scene almost to perfect. Seeing Amy sitting in front of him as she peacefully drank her coffee made him think that this could potentially a date if he wanted to make it so but in his fantasies this was already made a million times.

"I didn't know you were a fan of black coffee too, "Shadow asked the pink hedgehog in front of him who look up to him with her emerald eyes.

"I love all types of coffee... I guess that's why I opened up a cafe... which to be honest I didn't think it was going to grow so fast." Amy responded.

"Why is that?"

"Well, when I opened Momo Cafe I had no money left for advertisement. However, two weeks after I opened, someone called making a bunch of orders to be delivered at different companies throughout the city... I was baffled that guy almost spent 1,000 dollars on coffee. I was really blessed because after that; the companies that I sent coffee to buy coffee from me every day.", Amy ended her story with a melancholic smile on her face. "If I had the opportunity, I wished I could thank him."

"Seems like you had luck... you shouldn't question your success too much. You work hard for it after all.", Shadow took another sip of his coffee, missing the flavor of it.

"I think you are right."

"You are a successful young woman, educated who also possess incredible qualities... you must have a lot of suitors."

There, Shadow was going now straight to the point. He wasn't one to lose his cool so easily but when it came down to Amy... well things don't usually go his way.

"Well... not really...I don't think I fit their beauty standards."

Shadow notices that the question had made her feel uncomfortable but there was no way out now and he had to keep pushing to make her realize.

"I think you are mistaken... guys don't talk to you because they are intimidated of you... "

"Really?"

"Yes, Amy you are beyond beautiful but you are more than a pretty face.", Shadow waited for Amy's reaction. Her eyes shone and her face was nothing but red.

"You...you really think that way Shadow?."

Amy couldn't believe what the Dark Prince was telling her. Yes, she knew the title that Shadow holds, how all the girls were over him and how none of them interested Shadow.

She was starting to believe what Shadow was saying may be true. Because Shadow could be many things, but he wasn't a liar.

"Amy, if only you could see how your freckles look like the stars, how your cute round nose wrinkles whenever you smell something you like or the way your double chin shows when you smile...Amy, you are like the entire universe in one person." The sight in front of him encouraged him to continued and without knowing, he kept babbling just letting his emotions take over him.

They shared a silence in which Shadow suffered the most. He still couldn't say his true feelings, but if it was for Amy, then maybe...just maybe he could.

"I don't why I suddenly feel this way. It wasn't much of a problem before but realizing how I never had anyone to be with...I just thought that I was the problem and I wanted to fix that problem even if that was just a bit. It is still a bit hard to believe your words...but Shadow... right now your words mean the world to me."

Shadow was ready to say it all. The adrenaline was taking over him, he felt his cheeks could burst at how hot they were. He straightens up, cleared his voice and was ready to say that three-word sentence. Instead, Shadow received the epiphany of his life, something that changed him.

Not even in his deepest fantasy, he imaged this could happen.

Amy's face brightens up and whispered that three-word sentence he was waiting for her to say for so long:

"Shadow, thank you."

Next chapter: https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/185966609885/the-dark-prince-chapter-one-team

The Dark Prince: Chapter One: Team

#Shadamy #shadamy fanfiction #shadamy boom #shadow and amy #shadowxamy #shadow the hedgehog #Amy Rose #fan fiction #fanfiction

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entrepreneurnut · 3 years ago

Text

ClickFunnels vs InstaPage - Don't Make This Classic Mistake!

New Post has been published on https://entrepreneurnut.com/clickfunnels-vs-instapage-dont-make-this-classic-mistake/

ClickFunnels vs InstaPage - Don't Make This Classic Mistake!

Picking between ClickFunnels vs InstaPage for your online business can be a really tricky decision, especially if you haven’t tried them yet.

And making the wrong choice could harm your performance or waste hours of your time. Or, you could also be paying a lot more than you should for a small number of features.

In this article, I will help you avoid this – so your business can be as efficient as possible.

ClickFunnels vs InstaPage Summary

ClickFunnels vs Instapage is a little like comparing a fruit salad vs an apple. While Instapage is only a landing page builder, ClickFunnels is a complete online marketing suite to help you build sales funnels, email marketing campaigns, webinars & more. ClickFunnels is the overall winner.

Get a ClickFunnels Free Trial

ClickFunnels vs InstaPage Overview

Here are the main differences between ClickFunnels and InstaPage:

ClickFunnels has an email marketing feature built-in, whereas InstaPage doesn’t

ClickFunnels has a feature for live webinars, but InstaPage doesn’t

ClickFunnels enables you to create and sell membership sites. InstaPage doesn’t

ClickFunnels has an affiliate management feature, InstaPage doesn’t

ClickFunnels works out more affordable in several aspects

ClickFunnels has better educational material

InstaPage has a unique personalization feature, whereas ClickFunnels doesn’t

InstaPage’s pages load faster than ClickFunnels’

InstaPage is better suited for ad tracking and integrations

Our Pick

Our pick is ClickFunnels because compared to InstaPage, it offers more for less. Even the starter plan of ClickFunnels offers more features than InstaPage offers for a much lower price. With InstaPage, you’ll need many integrations for your email marketing, webinars, membership sites, and even affiliate management.

Get a ClickFunnels Free Trial

If you want to know more details about why we have chosen ClickFunnels over InstaPage, along with all the features that each of these software tools has then I’m gonna go into them both now in a lot more detail.

If you also want to compare ClickFunnels with other leading competitors then I recommend you also read these articles to help you make the best decision.

More Comparison Articles

What Is ClickFunnels & Who Is It For?

ClickFunnels is the most popular funnel builder on the internet. Since Russel Brunson founded it in 2014, it has built a customer base with over 120,000 members, which is still only growing.

But it’s this popular not only because it is an excellent software product with robust features that help businesses generate and convert visitors. It also boasts a large and supportive community, as well as a Netflix-like library of educational material.

ClickFunnels is for a range of professionals and business owners who want to scale, including:

Entrepreneurs

Digital Marketers

Service-business owners (Consultants, agencies, etc.)

Info-product vendors

Ecommerce stores

ClickFunnels Pros

It’s a complete all-in-one system

It comes with some incredible marketing and sales tools ranging from webinars to one-click upsells

The features work seamlessly with each other, making the platform easy to use

It has a large community and lots of educational material

The price is much lower than purchasing all the tools individually

ClickFunnels Cons

No video hosting

Although the price is good, it has quite a high starting price and only two main plans

What Is InstaPage & Who Is It For?

Instapage is one of the best landing page builders on the market. According to their website, it was created for businesses of all sizes who need a flexible landing page builder and a robust tracking system.

Since Tyson Quick founded InstaPage in 2012, it has established itself as one of the best landing page builders on the market. It’s used by some globally recognized brands such as:

Soundcloud

Vimeo

Honey

However, does that mean the average business owner or Entrepreneur can get just as much value from it? We’ll see later on.

InstaPage Pros

The pages load fast

It has some great personalization conversion tools

The templates look decent

It’s fairly easy to use

InstaPage Cons

Lack of features

High-price point for what it is

ClickFunnels Features

Let’s start by taking a deep look at ClickFunnels’ features. Then, we’ll do the same for InstaPage.

ClickFunnels Core Feature: Funnel Builder

ClickFunnels’ core feature is, as the name suggests, is the funnel builder.

And it doesn’t disappoint.

ClickFunnels allows you to virtually build any type of funnel there is:

Membership funnels

Webinar funnels

Tripwire funnels

Lead-generation Funnels

And many more

And check this out: ClickFunnels also comes with templates for each funnel step. So, you don’t have to glue things together like you would with other software pieces.

This, combined with the drag & drop editor, are the main reasons why it’s so user-friendly as well.

Also, everything inside of ClickFunnels can be split-tested too! So you can always find the best performing variant of your funnel.

Try ClickFunnels Free For 14-Days

Webinars

However, something to note on the webinars is that it only has pre-built tools for live webinars.

So, if you want to host one of those pre-recorded webinars that you may use to scale your high-ticket sales, you’ll have to use integration.

The good news is that ClickFunnels has a huge list of integrations, as we’ll see later on.

Membership Sites

ClickFunnels’ funnel builder also lets you build membership sites for when you want to sell your courses. While it performs pretty decently in the features, I must say that there’s room for improvement in the template design and look of your membership sites.

Some of the main features include:

Multiple access levels

Drip-feed content

Paid and free membership sites

It’s more than enough to get you started with selling courses. The only other slight complaint that I have is that there is no video hosting.

Meaning: You’ll need a 3rd party provider like Vimeo or Wistia to host your videos.

Then again, maybe I’m asking a little too much from ClickFunnels, as most competitors like InstaPage don’t even have a membership site builder.

Try ClickFunnels Free For 14-Days

Share Funnels

ClickFunnels also lets you share all your funnels via a link. So if you ever are creating funnels for clients, you can just send them the link to the funnel.

From there, they’ll have it in their account, ready to use.

ClickFunnels Carts

ClickFunnels lets you create carts that you can embed onto any one of your ClickFunnels pages. The cool thing about these carts is that they come in templates, are easily editable, and are quite comprehensive.

For example, you can create:

2 step cart checkouts

Order bumps

One-click upsells and downsells

I love these features because they give you so many more chances to sell your products. For example, on the 2-step cart, you can collect email addresses before purchasing and then follow up with anyone who didn’t convert.

These sales and marketing strategies are also one of the main things Russel Brunson teaches in the educational material.

So, you should be able to learn how to use these powerful features, even if you’re not a marketing pro yourself.

Broadcasts and Follow-up Emails

Another advantage that ClickFunnels has over many competitors is that it comes with built-in email marketing.

Broadcast emails are basically the newsletters that you can send to all your contacts.

The Follow-Up Funnels feature are your automation sequences that send your emails while you sleep. The only slight room for improvement is that some of the behavioral automation triggers are lacking compared to top autoresponders.

Again, ClickFunnels performs pretty well here as well and also comes with beautiful ready-to-use templates.

Plus, as the email marketing tools are already built into the platform, connecting everything is easy.

Affiliate Management

ClickFunnels also has an affiliate management tool, so you can recruit affiliates and manage them – directly from the tool.

While I have found that the reporting slightly lacks compared to dedicated tools, it’s still pretty sweet to have this built inside the platform – as it guarantees more sales – when used correctly.

You can create several different types of affiliate programs with personalized settings such as:

Pay Per Sale

Recurring

Custom commission percentages or fixed amounts

Templates & Funnel Marketplace

Finally, ClickFunnels has an incredible library of ready-to-use funnel templates. All you need to do is select one and start editing it inside the drag & drop funnel builder.

And if those still aren’t enough for you, there is also a whole marketplace for funnel templates.

The cool thing about this is, that if you get really good at building these funnel templates, you could actually sell some here, too, as an additional stream of revenue.

Educational Material

One of the biggest benefits of ClickFunnels is that it gives you the tools to generate new visitors, leads, and sales… But, it also gives you the knowledge:

FunnelFlix: A library of marketing, funnel-building, and sales lessons by Russell Brunson and co.

Funnel Hack-A-Thon: Weekly live group coaching calls where the ClickFunnels team builds funnels in front of users. You can ask any questions and join in with your ClickFunnels funnel builder to learn from the pros.

I think this is excellent as it will help the average business owner use the platform successfully. And, it doesn’t only just come with ClickFunnels tutorials, but also actionable knowledge on funnels, marketing, and sales.

Try ClickFunnels Free For 14-Days

What ClickFunnels Has That InstaPage Does Not Have

As we have seen above, ClickFunnels has an incredible list of features. To give you a clearer picture, I just wanted to recap the features that InstaPage doesn’t. We’ll do the same for InstaPage later on.

Webinar funnels

Membership funnels

More Cart options (for example, 2 step carts)

More funnel templates

Affiliate management

Email marketing

Funnel marketplace

As you can see, the list is quite extensive. If you would integrate some of these features with InstaPage, it could cost you a $50-100 PER feature.

For example, if you want to get a membership builder, you’d have to go with Kajabi or Thinkific, which will cost you anywhere from $50 to $300+ per month.

Try ClickFunnels Free For 14-Days

InstaPage Features

As we have seen, ClickFunnels has set a pretty high standard in terms of features. Let’s look at how InstaPage compares.

InstaPage Core Feature: Landing Page Builder

While ClickFunnels’ core feature is the funnel builder, InstaPage’s core offering is the landing page builder. Unfortunately, this means that you can’t quite build as much as you can with ClickFunnels.

For example, with ClickFunnels, you get a lot more funnel templates and can even build membership sites or webinar funnels.

With Instapage, you can only build landing pages. That’s about it.

However, the InstaPage landing builder does have some pretty cool benefits as well, such as:

Fast-loading pages (faster than ClickFunnels and the majority of the competition)

Decent conversion tools (we’ll get to this later on)

Split-testing (see below)

Split-testing

Just like ClickFunnels, everything you create in InstaPage can be split-tested. Of course, this will help you find the best-performing page and should ultimately increase your sales.

Personalization

One of the unique features of InstaPage is personalization. What this does, is that it enables your InstaPage pages to automatically change based on the ad that users have clicked on.

For example, if you are advertising via PPC ads, you can change the components of your ads based on whatever they have typed into the search engine.

Ad Map

InstaPage’s other main feature is the AdMap, which allows you to visualize and plan your ad campaigns. Besides making your job much easier, it will also give you your post-click score to help you determine how well the landing page fits your ad.

Collaboration

InstaPage also lets you collaborate with clients, team members, etc.

This is excellent as you can get them working on your pages without them needing an account. However, you need to make sure that you have enough sub-users on your plan. Still, it’s an excellent little bonus that InstaPage offers.

ClickFunnels kind of has this feature with its share funnels. But there are pros and cons to both versions.

Personalized Assistance

If you go on InstaPage’s highest plan, there is a lot of personalized assistance such as:

Conversion-consulting

Design services

Page migration services

Of course, these features will be pretty costly – hence you can’t even see how much they would cost. But if you have an enterprise business, it may be worth it.

What InstaPage Has That ClickFunnels Does Not Have

InstaPage doesn’t quite have as many features as ClickFunnels does. But let’s take a look at the ones it has that ClickFunnels doesn’t.

Faster Loading Pages

One of the biggest benefits of InstaPage is that it has faster-loading pages. While it’s not a huge difference, it definitely could help you increase conversions slightly.

But unless you are sending 100’s of thousands of page views to your landing pages or funnels per month, it probably won’t make any revenue difference.

Personalization

The personalization feature is another benefit that InstaPage has that ClickFunnels doesn’t. This could be useful if you’re running PPC ads especially, but in general, I can’t imagine most business owners using it.

Yes, it’s a cool feature, but you’d have to run some really advanced PPC campaigns for it to have any use.

Ad Map

The ad map feature is pretty cool, and ClickFunnels doesn’t have it. But, again, this is mainly going to be useful for you if you are running ads, as it will help you check how well the landing page is suited for it.

Personalized Assistance

This one isn’t necessarily true because there are many options inside of ClickFunnels to hire funnel experts. Plus, you also have access to a much bigger community, where you can also find them as well.

ClickFunnels Integrations

ClickFunnels has a pretty decent list of integrations, despite its huge list of features. The list includes Zapier, major membership platforms, the most popular email marketing software, and more.

Some of the main integrations include:

Shopify

Kajabi

Zapier

GetResponse

Aweber

InstaPage Integrations

InstaPage has a huge list of integrations ranging from advertising platforms to membership platforms. Unfortunately, with InstaPage, you’ll likely need the integrations, as it does lack features.

Some of the main integrations include:

Zapier

SalesForce

Hubspot

Keap

ClickFunnels vs InstaPage – Pricing

Now that we have seen what value both platforms offer, let’s look at how much they charge.

ClickFunnels Cost

Let’s look at ClickFunnels’ pricing first. With ClickFunnels having so many different features, it’s to be expected that they aren’t all available on the lowest plan. So make sure to check that the plan you’re looking at has the features you’re looking for.

ClickFunnels Starter ($97 per month)

Despite, ClickFunnels having a smaller starting cost than InstaPage, I thought it was interesting to see that its starter plan has more features. For example, the webinar builder and membership sites.

Usage limits:

20 sales funnels

100 pages

1 sub-user

3 payment gateways

3 domains

What you DON’T get:

Affiliate management

Follow-up Funnels

Funnel Hack-A-Thon

Some FunnelFlix Videos

Priority Supports

ClickFunnels Platinum ($297 per month)

Usage limits:

Unlimited funnels and pages

3 sub-users

9 payment gateways

9 domains

This plan comes with all features.

If you really want to get a taste of what ClickFunnels can do, this is the plan you’ll want to be on. It comes with everything and very few usage limits.

ClickFunnels Two Comma Club X ($1,497)

Finally, the two comma club winner is for businesses that have already scaled and need lots of domains, sub-users, etc.

Unlimited funnels and pages

10 sub-users

27 payment gateways

27 domains

Features: All + Hours of additional FunnelFlix training

InstaPage Cost

Instapage only has two plans as well, but one of them is custom. So there’s really only one for most average businesses.

InstaPage Building Plan

The first is the InstaPage building plan, which starts at $299 p/m or $199 p/m if paid annually.

Its main features include:

No Conversion Limits

Customer Success Manager

Design Reviews

Landing Page Builder

Server-Side A/B Testing

Real-Time Visual Collaboration

Instablocks

Pages & Experiences

Thor Render Engine

Post click Score

AdMap

Conversion Analytics

Dynamic Text Replacement

SSL Encryption

GDPR Compliance

This is slightly disappointing because it doesn’t have some of the best features like multi-step forms or even many integrations.

InstaPage Converting

InstaPages’ next plan up is InstaPage converting.

And this is the custom plan, so the pricing depends on what exactly you need.

Some of the additional features you could get include:

Page migration services

Dedicated Launch specialist

Design services

Conversion consulting

Editable Global Blocks

1:1 Ad-to-Page Personalization

I’d imagine the pricing was quite high if you wanted all the features, as there is a lot of personalized assistance inside.

And with the standard plan already being $300 per month, the custom one may go into the monthly four figures – depending on what you need.

Final Thoughts – ClickFunnels vs InstaPage – Which Is Best?

As you have seen throughout this ClickFunnels vs InstaPage comparison, both are pretty decent. However, ClickFunnels simply offers more value overall and at an almost identical price point.

While InstaPage only is suited for running advanced ad campaigns, ClickFunnels appeals to a much wider range of businesses and entrepreneurs – because it has so many more features (memberships, email, affiliate, webinars and more).

Overall, ClickFunnels is the better product in my opinion. When you want to sign up for a trial, make sure to click the button below to get your first 14-days free.

Try ClickFunnels Free For 14-Days

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symbianosgames · 8 years ago

Link

Arkane Studios' Raphael Colantonio is probably best known among developers today for his work on Dishonored with fellow co-creative director Harvey Smith.

But by the time Dishonored shipped in 2012 Colantonio had already been working at Arkane for over a decade, leading development of games like Arx Fatalis and Dark Messiah of Might & Magic.

These games, made back before the French studio was acquired by Bethesda parent company ZeniMax and expanded with a sister studio in Austin, failed to achieve high-profile commercial success -- to this day, Colantonio is quick to acknowledge Arx was "full of bugs."

What they did achieve, though, was attracting communities of players passionate about the games' mechanics and systems-driven design.

As Colantonio now prepares to ship Arkane's latest project, Prey, Gamasutra sat down with him to briefly chat about the projects he's shaped over the years, and how they've in turn shaped his approach to making games.

So you gave a presentation at the 2006 Montreal Game Summit -- this was ages ago -- and you talked about your experience building a small indie studio in a world of big-budget game companies.

Colantonio: Yeah, with Gamasutra, actually.

So it's been over a decade since then. Arkane is pretty big now, and split across continents. How does it feel?

"We seem disorganized and like we don't know what we're doing, but I think it's part of a process and I really think that it's something that we now embrace and accept."

Feels like a different life. Well, it feels yet so far, and at the same time so recent. It's funny how time works in people's head; in many ways we still feel like this little unknown company that just started a few years ago. Even now, like people say, "So what are you working on?"

"Oh, Dishonored."

"Oh, yeah, I played that game!"

"Yeah, sure." That's how I feel. You're just saying that to be polite, you know?

But yeah, it took a while, but it's great. It shows that with determination and believing in what you do, eventually it works out.

How has the working environment changed? I think fellow devs would be curious to know what it was like, going from one studio to two, each with their own separate projects.

I think it works out for us because it was such a slow incremental process. It took us seventeen years to go from one game - one studio, to two games - two studios.

So it's been a very very meticulous adding one piece at a time. You look at how many people we add a year, it's really not much. So at the end now it's very different even though it felt natural, because Dishonored was made between Lyon and Austin; that was probably the weirdest move for us.

I can't remember exactly how many people we had in Austin and how many we had in Lyon, but it was like two teams -- slightly bigger in Lyon. That was a real weird move and then after that, once we were done just adding people on both ends started to almost feel like you were managing two different studios at that point.

But we're still sharing the same DNA for game design; it's like the cousin that went to a different country and evolved their own way. Because you can still recognize the styles in both games, right? In Dishonored 2 and Prey, even though they're not the same team behind it.

Do you miss having that small studio focus?

Sure, yeah. It's different; when you're ten in the same room and just yell across the room because you need some file or whatever, it's not the same thing as when you have to input it in some software that goes into a list of tasks that maybe one day will be read by someone on the other side of the building.

So I do miss it, but I think we still manage to maintain the same culture and passion because we -- I think we have a very strong culture and we know why we're doing what we do, so we hire people that embrace the same values and they hire people with the same passions. So if you ask anyone at Arcane, most of them know why they're doing what they're doing, even though it's a pretty big team now.

Do you have any specific techniques or processes that you put in place to maintain that sort of culture?

Yeah, I can think of two things -- well three things. One, recruiting is very, very important. We are very, very picky.

I think the second thing is, we have a few values that are important to us. One of them is player choice, for example. So for each game that we do, Dishonored was the same and it's the same now with Prey, we have some little posters that we place everywhere in the office with the name of those values and an example and why it's important to us. Like mantras, almost. Then people wherever they go for a break or lunch or something they see this thing on the wall that would say "multi-solutions" or--

Motivational posters.

Yeah, motivational posters. That's two, and three I would say the leads, who you choose to represent what you want for the team and the game, making sure that they are really in alignment with you and they will perpetrate that culture.

Sure. I know some team leaders who do things like regular team lunches or dinners to help build studio cultures they can rely upon. But that's usually with teams of like ten or twelve people. If you have thirty or forty in your studio...

Yeah, you can't. And funnily enough we've never been so much into those things at Arkane. Like you know there are those big corporate companies that take everybody to Disney World or something. We're just, everybody does what they want to do. Some actually gather together because they want to play some RPG -- you know, Role-Playing --

Tabletop games, yeah.

But this is nothing we enforce. It's strange, we don't do the lunches and all this stuff.

Ahh, everybody's different. Do you yourself ever play tabletop role-playing games?

Not anymore. I used to play Cthulhu, actually, more than Dungeons and Dragons.

You played Call of Cthulhu?

Uh-huh, yeah.

I'm impressed. That's a rough game to play; everybody loses at the end.

Yeah, exactly. Maybe that's why I like it. The tensions between wanting to progress and not wanting to progress because you know that you are a cooler character now, but you're sooner to die.

Playing those games, did that inform your approach to videogame development at all? The way you run teams or the way you design levels or anything like that?

Probably, yeah. Yes, because, in fact, even to this day, if I design a piece of level because I want to highlight a situation that is important to me, I will actually use -- how do you say?

Graph paper.

Yeah, I will still use that with the same kind of iconography that you do on the Dungeon and Dragons.

I think that stuff's fascinating, but before we fall down that rabbit hole I should ask: now that you're wrapping up work on Prey, what have you learned from it that you'll take forward to other projects?

In the specific case of Prey? There's many lessons...on the positive side, I do think that it's really confirmed our approach to multilayered system development where we just develop a system out of context, just with the tools, and we drop it in the simulation and let it live and see what happens. Usually it spawns new ideas.

So you have an AI, for example, that you did not have before and you just give it a few rules and as it's in the game and starts to interact with the rest of the simulation and something weird happens. It pushes objects, for example -- you never thought of that. And because of that it creates some new gameplay, some new opportunities.

So we rely a lot on that and it's actually a really cool way to make games because it falls back to player expectations, I think, in the way that when these things happen, "Oh, you know what? Since this thing happens maybe we should support it and actually do this, this this." As opposed to having some sort of plan from the get-go and then just follow the plan.

So I think that's a technique that...we seem disorganized and like we don't know what we're doing, but I think it's part of a process and I really think that it's something that we now embrace and accept as mythology for us.

Yeah, like the Mimic enemies early on in Prey -- Is that an example of a thing you tested, a creature that can crawl and hide and transform into objects? Where did that even come from?

Initially, it was just we thought it would be cool to have a creature that actually turned into things to hide because we have full ecology for our aliens and how they work and each of them have a role. So the role of the Mimic was to be a scout: it scouts around to gather energy, hides, turns into things. Turning into things came as a later idea. Like, "It hides."

"Okay, how does it hide?"

"Well, you know it goes into corners and it waits for you to show up and jumps you."

Okay, that's a cool idea. Then someone had an idea, I don't remember who. "What if it turned into objects? If it actually picked an object in that room and turned into the object?"

"Oh wow, that's awesome." So we did that. Then that led to another thing because as we were developing this game we also started to think, "How are we going to acquire the powers?"

"Well, what would be really awesome would be if you could steal the powers from the enemies." So we started down that route of, "You can steal this or that." And sometime in a meeting we said, "Hey, hold on. If we can steal the powers, really we should be able to turn into objects as well."

As we said that, half of the room was terrified by the idea because it means, "Oh god, this is going to be -- maybe ridiculous, maybe silly, maybe super-hard to implement," because now you are a small thing in the world and...how are the physics going to handle that? The other half was super-excited about that and people started to laugh about it. So that's what I mean by the game designed itself.

It's like a painting where you know where you're going more or less, but not exactly, and as you're painting and you realize that the blue of the sky over there should actually reflect on that corner over there. And so at the end the painting becomes really defined as you go.

So how do you balance the needs of that creative process with the demands of operating a business?

I think if you look at the leader, you will know what is the culture of the company. In our case it started with game design, game designers, so our very first game [Arx Fatalis] is very game design-oriented. Not very technological. It crashes all the time, is not very production-ready and full of bugs.

I remember thinking it was very neat, though, with stuff like the gesture commands for casting spells.

Right, right. It's neat, but it was not very marketable. It was not ready for the market, and I think as we grew we started to accept other disciplines a little better. So now I think we've reached a balance where we have strong production, strong art, strong tech, while at the same time still maintaining the strong design.

I still think design will always win at the end of the day if there's a conflict between, "Should this game be polished or should it be designed?" I'll still push for the fun thing, rather than the polish. And maybe it's a mistake. It did bite me in the ass a few times, but at some point as you grow you have to...well, now we are also part of Bethesda. So there's a lot of money involved in these games. We cannot just make games in a vacuum and not care about it. So I had to give more and more power to production and et cetera. But unfortunately for everyone I am also the president of the company, so.....

It's tricky. It means that I will always have a personal push for creativity over any of the other disciplines. But I also try to be mindful about it and not run the company against the wall.

I think a lot of devs face the same problem. I should ask also, I notice it's not the same engine as Dishonored 2. You went with CryEngine, right?

Yeah.

Why choose to go with someone else's engine rather than something you build yourself?

Because in fact, when you look back to when we started Dishonored 2, which was a little before we started Prey, actually, we were faced with a few challenges. In the case of Dishonored, our biggest challenge was to make the technology work. Because we knew what game we were going to do, but we did not have an engine for it. Back then the CryTek engine was not ready.

So we said, okay, this is our try is going to be to make our own engine. Because we know what the game is and and we have to make a new team. So that was enough challenge already.

And then you look at Prey, we were not wanting to add some more burden on the Dishonored 2 team because Dishonored 2, we had to to make our own engine there. Now with the same engine if you have to make two games, that would be multiplying the challenges. So [for Prey], the challenge was more like, let's take an engine that we know exists and is solid that we have and tackle a new challenge which is inventing a game.

It's essentially a new type of game, even though it's Prey, it's still a new IP in a way. So it's just risk management, and choosing the right thing. So, you know I was saying your company culture informs how you work, like in my case it's all creative, but at the same time, in this case it was a lot of production calls. We have to be logical.

Yeah, but I do think it's surprising you'd want to avoid having everyone working on the same tech. Whereas I feel an organization like EA, which is obviously much bigger, they're making an effort to bring all of their stuff into one engine.

Yeah, I'm not sure why because it's only a million dollars for those -- It's nothing secret here. The cost of an engine is about a million dollars. Any engine that you can buy and I honestly can't remember how much we payed on the case of CryTek, but it doesn't justify -- It's not a big win to say, "Well, we're going to unify all our games onto one engine." It seems more risky and more of a constraint for teams.

In fact, the entire Bethesda organization, everytime we try starting a game, they never care. They always ask us, "What engine do you want to use?" It doesn't matter if we want to use our engine, some new engine. It's a cost. If you make your own engine it's going to cost you something. If you buy one it's going to cost you something. There is a cost -- I can understand why some people want to unify everything because this way they can have their teams that know how to use their tools. Once you know the production pipeline of an engine you can reuse that for every time. So there is some sort of a save.

But at the end of the day there are so many constraints as well to use -- I know a publisher that now went under who were obsessed with using the unified engine across all their teams all their studios all over the world. It drove them to their death, because it's more constraint on the developers than there is any benefit.

I honestly think it's an ideology and it's a political idea that sounds beautiful. "Well, we'll put our efforts combined into one thing. Then we can share technology between studios." It sounds beautiful, but it never works.

So let's talk about beauty, for a sec. What is one thing you hope fellow game developers see in this game? Is there a certain level, or a mechanic, or a little production trick you did somewhere?

Well, your question has multiple facets to it. One could be, "What is it that they will praise us for?" The other one would be, "What there is that hopefully will inspire them?" So the inspiring thing -- As a player, I want to play more games that are real-life simulations and let me play the way I want and give me an experience that I feel I own, as opposed to something very directed. There are some games that do that, but there's also a lot of games that go somewhere else.

So I want to see more and more games that allow me -- Because that's the difference between a movie and a game, I think. So the more games that are simulations, the more fun it is to me. So I hope some future generations are going to go deeper in that genre.

As far as the thing I hope people recognize, I think it's the complexity of making a new world. Everything is designed in this world. The chairs, the tables, everything is designed -- The fashion. So I'm sure the artists and storytellers will have a chance to appreciate the amount of work that was put into the researching the background of the world and how it works.

Yeah, you had the idea for this long before you decided to use the Prey name, right? Do you remember any of the names you were originally going to use?

There were many and I think one of them was after the name of the alien race themselves, which is the "Typhon." So then we started to think, "Hold on, people aren't going to know if it's with an i, a y, is it ph, is it f?" So at the end of the day Prey was actually a pretty solid name.

Yeah, it's easy to spell, short. So if you had to give one piece of advice to fellow game developers, given your time in the industry, what would you say now?

You know, I think we're at a fascinating phase because there's way many more propositions than there ever was before. Now you can play mobile, different types of formats of games, like the indie games for $20 or the AAA for more. I think it's a great time to succeed. Better than when there was only one channel.

Now, there's more noise as well so it's hard to get through this noise. And also the other thing that I notice is that people give less importance to how amazing is your graphics. That I think is a great, great opportunity for developers to focus on their message, whether it's artistic message or gameplay message, rather than the form so much. Because we've been so blinded by trying to get the latest technology, the latest shader, the latest detail that costs a fortune. It's a big distraction from what really matters in the game. So I hope people focus on the art intentions and the gameplay intentions more than the technology, and how amazing the graphics are.

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Rio & Nancy

Rio: So, I have something to say to you Rio: And I waited 'til I left so you don't have to find space in your luggage for my body, before you ask Nancy: Okay... Nancy: slightly scared but tell me anyway Rio: Me too, girl Rio: but I'll just say it, 'cos I should've before Rio: the party, at your parent's rental Rio: it was my party Nancy: That's not funny, Ri Nancy: He's my twin, I suffer the joint parties so nobody else has to Rio: It isn't, I know Rio: but it was, I was there and they were all my friends Rio: I had no intention for it to get that out of hand, for the police to come Rio: to ruin shit for you, I'm really sorry Nancy: So you let him take the blame? Rio: I know, that's why I'm telling you Rio: so you don't blame him Rio: not for this anyway Nancy: He must've still given you the keys Nancy: and he was still there when it got so out of control Nancy: all I'm learning is that it's both your faults Nancy: Like he's stupid, you're stupider Rio: I just wanted you to know that it wasn't all him Rio: I'm not trying to change your mind Nancy: Why? Nancy: Why do you want me to know that? You think he's a prick too Rio: Like you said, I let him take the fall Rio: that ain't right, whoever it is Rio: I'm not trying to aggravate anyone's situations and relationships Nancy: say sorry to him without including me Rio: You can be mad at me, its fine Nancy: Oh I am Nancy: his excuse is any for a party, yeah? 🙄 but I don't understand why you would do this Rio: Why can't I just want to go to a party too Rio: and not think about everyone it may or may not affect, like Rio: I'm sorry, and I really am, but I'm not the one making you go home Nancy: cos you live there! Don't tell me there weren't others that you could've gone too Nancy: that wouldn't end in us going back Rio: It was an oversight Rio: I shouldn't have said yes but I did so you do with that info whatever you need to okay Nancy: you know what he's like and all the encouragement he DOESN'T need to do stuff like this Nancy: he'd have done it whether you were there or not but the fact is you were and you didn't stop him at any point Rio: It was only a party Rio: no one died Nancy: tell that to my mum and dad Nancy: seriously, please do Rio: He wants to handle it himself with them, which is why he took the blame Nancy: Cool yeah and I'll handle being back here myself Nancy: you say maybe you just wanted a party, well maybe I just wanted a break from everything that I already told you has happened Rio: I don't doubt that Rio: but you can't hold me responsible like I'm the one taking you home or I'm the one doing the bullying Rio: I don't have the power to prevent either, I wish I did but I've not claimed it and you don't think I do, equally, I don't have the power to enforce either Nancy: but I can for acting like you care how bad it is and then helping Buster be stupid enough to cause another Nancy: just ridiculous shitshow Rio: I do care Rio: but all of this is nothing more than you said, a break, distraction, from the actual shitshow that is waiting back home and won't go away Rio: do your parents know? Nancy: I can't tell them Rio: You have to Rio: you can't live like this Nancy: I can't have my mum look at me like that again Nancy: every time she has to remind the old men who teach us that dyslexia is a thing, it's a THING Nancy: and my dad doesn't understand anything, you know Rio: It's their job to fight your corner Rio: and they will Rio: you have to tell them how bad it is Nancy: they always do, that's the point Nancy: Buster hasn't needed them to do anything since he started school basically Nancy: they love him for it Rio: then maybe that's the problem Rio: what if he doesn't want them to look at him like that either Nancy: This would never happen to him, or them Nancy: so it's my fault that I'm the one that's different Nancy: that's what he thinks and that's what they'd think too, like Rio: everyone has different issues Rio: that doesn't mean no issues, ever Rio: even if you are different, they still love you Nancy: I'm handling it, not the way they would, but I am Rio: How? Nancy: what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? Nancy: don't people say that Rio: People are idiots Nancy: It's not how my family do things, talking Nancy: I can't just spill my truth over the dinner table in place of asking for salt Rio: Fixing things, isn't that what yours like to do best Rio: give them the chance, you can save the rest for someone who's a better listener, someone more comforting, I'm not saying you have to do that Rio: but this can't carry on Nancy: it won't forever Nancy: she's clearly in love with me or something, that's every homophobe's narrative in every YA thing ever Nancy: once she gets over it, I'll be fine Rio: This ain't teen drama, and she isn't Rio: this is serious Nancy: I know how serious it is Nancy: Living it Rio: Then stop Nancy: it's not that easy Rio: No, its brave Rio: but so is enduring that level of hate every single day Rio: without any of the reward Rio: so I know you can do it Nancy: it'll make it worse if I say anything Nancy: I don't know if I can cope with that even hypothetically so Rio: How much worse could it be Rio: how much more are you willing to take before that point, not hypothetical, 'cos all of that is already happening and it won't just get better on its own Nancy: I'm not testing that at my own expense, okay? Rio: Don't Nancy: She's got so many friends, boys as well Rio: Some friend Rio: I'm sure loads of people hate her too Nancy: Maybe Nancy: and I'm sure at least some of them spend every day holding their breath too Nancy: I'm not starting a club Rio: Who do you think she is to bully you Rio: because that's the truth, she can only get away with it because you think she's somehow better than you Nancy: I barely know her Rio: exactly, she should be irrelevant Nancy: what's closer to the truth, I think, is that I refuse to see other girls as my competition and she can't stand it Nancy: I could weaponize things she obviously feels self conscious about, but I won't Rio: That just feeds into it being your fault, that there's any reasoning that's acceptable Rio: if you didn't have those insecurities yourself, she couldn't use them, fuck her and hers Nancy: my sexuality isn't an insecurity, not to me Nancy: the fact that I'm not whatever Chelsea girl cliche she thinks I should be is far from either Rio: Then get help Rio: if you thought you deserved it, you would Rio: that's the problem, there, you can't see getting help as anything but a weakness Rio: letting someone treat you like shit is, especially when you say you have the confidence to see you deserve better Nancy: and trade it in for my parents disappointment? thanks but no Nancy: letting everyone see and treat me like 'that bullied girl' is no better Rio: Then don't be Rio: that is all you're being Rio: in what world do you think either of them would be proud you grin and beared it from some bitches not worth half of you Nancy: If I wanted any of this I'd ask my brother for advice Rio: Just because the solution is walk through the fire and that sounds terrifying, doesn't mean you aren't fucking living in it Nancy: I don't need you to tell me how I'm living Nancy: or what fear is like Rio: You don't want anyone to examine it Rio: you wanna just disappear, so they can't see you and no one else can Rio: this shit will shrink you and wear you down to nothing but 'that bullied girl' and that's the fucking truth Nancy: You're being a real bitch right now actually Nancy: and not just for making me call you one Rio: Call me what you like Rio: I know myself and my intentions Nancy: so do I but what you don't know is how difficult this is Rio: Yes I do Nancy: it's so constant and I'm so tired Nancy: I don't have time or space to explain to my mum and dad why and what is happening Rio: There's no alternative Nancy: there's no words for any of it Nancy: to make them understand that it's not just stupid kid stuff that they'll tell me to sort out on my own Rio: There are Rio: but if you say them it stops being stupid kid stuff and it makes it serious and real Nancy: not in my head, you know how hard it is for me to find any Nancy: when I'm upset it's worse Nancy: I can't organise my thoughts ever any more Rio: I can help you, or Junior or Billie or any of us would be happy to Nancy: I haven't told either of them Rio: Who knows? Nancy: you Nancy: and Buster unavoidably Rio: You should talk to them Rio: Junior especially, he's never had an easy time of school either Nancy: that's why I don't wanna worry him Nancy: he's so sweet but what can he do? Rio: Get it Rio: if you're feeling misunderstood by the rest of us Nancy: I vented to him forever before I came out, he doesn't need this too Nancy: it's not fair Rio: That's what friends are for Nancy: he's my escape from it, he'll stop being if I drag him right in Nancy: it's already all you wanna talk about Rio: Its your life Rio: you can't escape it Nancy: I do though Rio: and its still there when you get home Nancy: Like I said, telling on her isn't gonna fix that Rio: Fine Nancy: You don't get to be mad at me about this Rio: How do you expect me to talk to you about anything else like you don't hate your life? Nancy: Don't talk to me then Rio: You may be happy to ignore it but I won't Nancy: Happy is an oversimplification Nancy: you're ignoring everything I've said Rio: And you don't get to tell me not to be mad Rio: Like I don't care about you and have every right to be worried Nancy: I can tell you not to be mad at me if you're telling me it's not my fault but treating me like it is Rio: I'm not Nancy: everything you want me to do only makes my life worse, not hers Nancy: my school is stuck in a timewarp and she's surrounded by people who support her even if it wasn't Rio: Because this isn't about her, or revenge or being that person Rio: she's that person and clearly her life is shit enough already if that's how she treats people Rio: why am I pretending to you that its easy, exactly? Rio: when has life ever been Nancy: Yeah okay Nancy: Life's hard, why do I have to be the one to make it harder? Nancy: Why can't they just stop Rio: Because they aren't handling their own shit Rio: you shouldn't be the one to take that on just 'cos they've picked you to do it Nancy: I miss you Rio: I miss you too Rio: I am so sorry you had to go back before planned, okay, you know I am Nancy: Of course I do Rio: Its your life, alright, do what you have to but I know you aren't okay Nancy: I'm trying Rio: I know you are Rio: some things you can't do alone Rio: shouldn't have to Nancy: I know Nancy: I'll try to talk to mum but you really have to pick your moments with her Nancy: and with Buster determined to wind her up right now, there aren't loads Nancy: I have no idea how you could bear to be in the same room as him, especially with all your friends there Rio: If anyone knows how tough it is to get parents undivided attention, its me, don't worry Rio: he's not so bad Rio: sure I'd feel different if he was my twin though Nancy: when he's drunk or high, he's worse Nancy: which is like always now so Rio: We've all got shit we're dealing with badly, yeah? Nancy: Okay, good connection made there, even if it does wanna make me scream how not like him I am Nancy: that's just twin things, I guess Rio: I'm not going to force you into matching outfits, like, don't worry Nancy: Oh god Rio: You can admit he's human too, I won't tell Nancy: If he'll ever admit that he likes being a bad person, maybe Rio: No one likes being a bad person Rio: sometimes its the easier thing to do though Rio: we all want an easy life Nancy: he never goes for what's easier, he does what he wants to do Rio: We should all do what we wanna do, shouldn't we? Nancy: If it doesn't hurt people, sure Nancy: but not if you don't care whether it does or not Nancy: and constantly put yourself before every and anyone else Rio: What constitutes hurt? Nancy: You know what I mean and what he's like Rio: I'm just saying, bigots say that kinda thing about being gay, that it hurts everyone around you etc Rio: you can apply it to a lot of shit that is actually fine, even if you're not about it, you know Nancy: Gross Nancy: I'm applying it to his attitude and how he treats people Nancy: neither of which are fine Rio: Its not your burden to bear, you know Rio: you can't affect how he treats you, never mind other people Rio: you can only decide how you react to it Nancy: Well I'm not sorry for wanting him back Nancy: how he used to be Rio: That makes sense Nancy: Don't you remember how kind he used to be? How funny and genuine Nancy: he used to care about us Rio: He's still got the potential to be that person Rio: people change constantly Rio: for good, bad, better and worse Nancy: exactly, so I'm not gonna let him be a prick unchecked Rio: Okay Nancy: mum and dad let him get away with too much Nancy: sending him home isn't gonna help when he behaves better in Dublin and always has Nancy: they're just embarrassed Rio: Yeah well, parents rarely know what's best Rio: even if they chat like its 100% in their favour Nancy: right? Rio: Its all about confidence Nancy: mine have too much of that, let's be honest Nancy: 🙄 Nancy: I'll admit it was a good idea having the party there, well it would've been if he didn't get found out Rio: It was good Rio: 'til the garda ruined it Nancy: thanks for the invite 😏 Rio: You wanna be in the same place as your brother? 😱 Nancy: I have to avoid him the rest of the time, I would've managed Rio: My bad Rio: next soiree Nancy: You thought I wouldn't come Nancy: but in my defense, I've only been to family parties Rio: its much the same but just with people you aren't related to Nancy: I doubt that or nobody would have any Nancy: must be slightly fun Rio: nope, exactly the same Rio: expectation to enjoy yourself and 'just have fun' is even higher, actually Nancy: oh great Nancy: what I suffer from my bullies, I don't suffer from peer pressure Nancy: good to know I'm not missing out thanks to my lack of friends Rio: Don't grow up, babe Nancy: excuse you Nancy: I'd pick Tinkerbell over Peter Pan Rio: Of course you would Rio: you sound like Wendy though 😏 Nancy: so rude Nancy: I won't make the 🐶👶👶 comparison for you though Rio: You've already called me a bitch, babe Nancy: I'm sorry, okay Rio: Forget it Rio: I've been called worse and invariably will be called ever worser Nancy: but not by me Nancy: it's obviously not you I'm mad at Rio: I know that, don't worry, seriously Nancy: it's just so lonely and frustrating Nancy: like is this my payback for not having gay angst Nancy: so sorry that girls are beautiful and I don't feel bad about it Rio: Being a teenager is trauma Rio: no one gets to adulthood unscathed or you wouldn't survive Nancy: Yeah and I know it could be worse Nancy: everything that happened to my mum, to nan, to so many of them Rio: doesn't mean this isn't bad too Rio: or that your mum would dismiss it Nancy: they handled it though Nancy: better than I can or I am Rio: None of its a competition Rio: and nan would be the first to tell you her life isn't aspirational or inspirational Nancy: I just feel like she deserves a different daughter after everything Nancy: a stronger one Rio: All anyone wants is happy and healthy kids Rio: if your list is longer than that then you shouldn't have 'em Nancy: I know but Buster's so brave, she raised me to be like that too Rio: Like I said, you are brave Nancy: I'm scared all the time, he's not scared of anything Rio: Everyone's scared Rio: he just hides it well Nancy: Another skill he's got, like Rio: Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear Rio: now someone did say that 'cos I quoted it Nancy: shame I'll forget it by the time I finish writing this Nancy: having no short term memory is really annoying Rio: sure there's a poster or a mug I can get you Nancy: 😊 Rio: is it an early flight then? Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I'm sleepy just thinking about it Rio: Ugh Rio: not even long enough that you can sleep Nancy: it's so weird to me that they even do flights that short Nancy: isn't there like a million checks and stuff they have to do before? Rio: 😂 the things you think about Rio: Probably like nipping down the shop for a pint of milk to the pilots, routine as Nancy: I guess Nancy: but it'll take longer for me to decide what I'm wearing than it will to get there Rio: D'ya wanna sound more first-worldy, babe Rio: I know I said all problems are created almost equal but don't take the piss with it Nancy: also my hair won't be dry 😏 Rio: you can truly fuck off with that one Rio: my hair retains water FOREVER Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I knew you'd like that Rio: So, we're good? Nancy: Of course Rio: 🙏 Nancy: 💋 Nancy: I mean, if you go to any more parties with my brother we'll have to be sworn enemies but that's standard Rio: 😏 Nancy: since it's partly your fault I'll be there again, you really should come to London though Rio: Yeah? Rio: that'd be cool, I was wanting to go anyway Nancy: if your mum and dad will let you and your boyfriend won't be too 💔 that I'm stealing you away Rio: ha Rio: that 🚢 sailed 'fore your ✈ set off Nancy: Oh Nancy: are you okay? Rio: 😂 Rio: yeah, again, don't worry Rio: I'll survive Nancy: I am worried now cos clearly you can't get a word in Nancy: 😶 Rio: Nah, there's not much to say about it Rio: neither a problem nor important, legit Nancy: well I've deleted my 👄 now so Nancy: and if you dumped him cos of his inability to dress you for the wedding, babe, that's ALL straight boys Nancy: just saying Rio: whereas lesbians are known for their impeccable dress sense 😏 Rio: and he dumped me actually, not over my wedding outfit though Nancy: breaking my heart when yours isn't, is very unfair Nancy: and he obviously couldn't use that as a reason, you looked 🔥 Rio: put on your comfiest flannel and 😭 babe Rio: exactly though, occupational hazard of dating me, he couldn't hack it Nancy: that's both slander and a borderline hate crime cos I have and will never 😧! Nancy: you deserve more parties and I won't be a bitch about any of them Nancy: even if you invite Buster and not me, again Rio: You're so sweet Nancy: it's just a fact that the fragile male ego isn't ready for someone as pretty as you Rio: You aren't turning me Rio: but I appreciate the compliment nonetheless Nancy: that's not what I'm 🤔 more like how to find you someone mature without being gross old Rio: What about your own love life Rio: let's 🔎 there Nancy: I don't have one Nancy: we all know boys are really slow at growing up but that doesn't mean any girls I've encountered are ready for me either Nancy: they only started letting girls into my school a few decades ago, I'm the only one who's out from that already shockingly small number Rio: You live in London though Rio: one of the most diverse cities ever Rio: get out of that ⬜ and into a different ⚪ yeah Nancy: what am I gonna do sit weirdly alone at every tourist attraction 🤞🧡? I don't have any friends to do anything with Rio: that's why you join clubs, take up hobbies Rio: friends and girlfriends aren't gonna break in your house and interrupt your netflix marathon, like Nancy: if I get my 📷 out that's stalking Rio: get permission first, like Rio: rule no1 of not being a creepy/illegal photographer Nancy: thanks for putting that in writing for me Nancy: I'll try and remember Rio: any time, babe Nancy: Why did he break up with you? Rio: Oh, someone told him I was all over someone else at the party Nancy: Ugh Nancy: so it wasn't even for a good reason Rio: I mean they weren't lying Rio: just overexaggerating but whatever Nancy: Wait, I've missed a break up and a hookup? Oh my god Nancy: really out of your ⚪ right now Rio: It was that kinda party Nancy: Buster does know how to throw them, like Nancy: quite Gatsby of him Rio: okay, nerd Rio: you lost me 😏 Nancy: you saw the movie, don't lie Rio: perhaps Rio: 💚 Nancy: and I only did cos Jordan Baker has such lesbian energy and her beard Nick is clearly in love with Gatsby so call me what you like Rio: she plays golf, no straight woman would dream of being that boring Nancy: or dressing how 🏌 do Rio: precisely Nancy: I'll find a well dressed lesbian somewhere, somehow Nancy: though it could take years Rio: no pressure Rio: don't need another wedding any time soon Nancy: Gross Nancy: I'm never getting married Rio: nah? Nancy: we covered that I don't like family parties, yeah? Rio: I guess so Rio: you don't have to do it like that though Nancy: anyway it's so hetero Nancy: no way am I being given away by my dad like I belong to him Nancy: or taking someone else's name cos they like own me now 🙄 Rio: 🙄 Rio: 1. who does that or has since like 1988 babe Rio: 2. we get it, you're the man, you don't have to do that either Nancy: literally every straight couple ever Nancy: and those kind of 'which one of you is the groom' jokes aren't gonna sell it either Nancy: I'm triggered at the prospect Rio: were you at my parents wedding or Rio: this bullying got you behaving all manner or retro tbh Nancy: your parents are far from traditional, we all know Rio: so you don't have to be Nancy: let me find a well dressed girlfriend first before you worry about dressing me for my wedding, like Rio: 👌 Nancy: I understand you wanna see me 😳 but it won't be cute Rio: just don't be so judgey Rio: that ain't cute Nancy: okay that's fair Nancy: I shouldn't judge anyone else by elite Chelsea girl 'standards' I know that Nancy: this place is just mind altering Rio: You're all good, babe 🧡 Rio: I'll keep you in-check Nancy: I really hate it Nancy: you'll see, even our house is too big and too.....blank Nancy: like a gallery if someone forgot to put the art in Rio: I'm sure your room is cosy Nancy: I've got space for a giant wardrobe that's a plus Nancy: and I don't have to fight Buster for the mirror cos that's a fight I'd NEVER win Rio: 😂 Rio: so there's some pluses Nancy: 😏 end of rant, I promise Rio: You've got packing to do, conserve some energy Nancy: I WOULD'VE FORGOT TO PACK 😲😣😂 Rio: Oh honey Nancy: I'm just sleeping soundly til the morning when I have to throw an empty case in like I'm Lisa Simpson starting a new life and getting new friends at the beach Rio: Its a plan Rio: not gonna go ahead and call it solid but you know Rio: go have those sweet dreams Nancy: we can't okay it when my dad loves his car like a 4th child Nancy: I'll go and pack Nancy: 🧡 Rio: Perhaps enough drama for one trip Rio: there's always next time 🧡 Nancy: as long as you don't tell Buster the same thing, like Nancy: 💚💋 Rio: 😶🤞

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Buster & Rio

Buster: [Sends a selfie of him studying hard] Buster: So that's me. What are you doing? Rio: Proud of you, babe Rio: also you look cute 😍 Rio: [Selfie at whatever party she's been dragged to] Rio: Babysitting, like Buster: Well, damn, that's how fantasies start Buster: You look so good right now Rio: Yeah, I've seen the films too 😏 Rio: Is that how you've been rewarding yourself for your hard work or? Buster: I bet you have, babe Buster: And no, I haven't taken a break yet, I was saving them up for now Buster: For you Rio: You calling me a pervert? 😉 Rio: Well I'm all yours, baby Rio: How's your day been? Buster: 'Course not. You're such an innocent baby Buster: Yeah? Good Buster: 'Cause I've been so bored Rio: Jesus Rio: I can tell Rio: If this is how it gets you I might have to let you be bored more often Buster: What can I say? I've had a lot of time to think about you while my teachers were chatting the same old shit Rio: Yeah? Rio: What have you been thinking about me? Buster: Mainly all the ways you'd make learning fun for me Buster: It's a skill Rio: If only I'd stayed in School Rio: Career right there Buster: I'm not sharing you Buster: Private tuition or nothing Buster: I mean, it can be public, but still just me and you Rio: I'm fine with that Rio: You got the funds, posh boy Buster: You know it, babe Rio: I accept the position then, when do I start? Buster: You can start right now, if you want Rio: I wanna talk to you first, for a bit Rio: I've missed you Buster: I've missed you too Buster: So much Rio: I think I have good news though Buster: Tell me Rio: [Test picture] Rio: Obviously it's like Rio: really early days Buster: Oh my god Buster: When can we be sure? Buster: Like 1000% Rio: I'm getting a blood test at the Doctors, that's definite, just in case this test is giving a false positive but that's really rare, like you either are or you aren't really so Rio: We're having a baby Buster: Fuck, Rio, we did it Rio: I know Rio: I didn't know if it would happen, I mean Rio: I've not tried before obviously Rio: it's so surreal Buster: We can do anything Buster: I knew it'd work Rio: I'm glad 'cos it has and there's no going back on it now Buster: Good, I don't want to Buster: I want you and our baby Rio: I just keep rubbing my stomach like Rio: they're already in there Buster: Do you feel any different yet? Is that a stupid question? Rio: I don't think so Rio: I've not been being sick or anything yet, though that'll be coming in a month or so if it does Rio: it's just all so new it doesn't feel real but at the same time, so real and exciting Buster: By then my exams will be almost over and then I'll be back to look after you Buster: Wait, you're at a party right now? How has Indie not clocked that you aren't getting wasted alongside her? Rio: Just in time for the mood swings too, no doubt 😜 Rio: Such a good actress, obviously Rio: Never drank so many cokes in my life, hopefully she just thinks I'm doing coke in the bathroom, like Buster: Am I gonna have to buy us a bigger place so you can stay in your wing and me in mine, like? 😂 Buster: I really didn't expect to be this happy today Buster: And I really fucking love you Rio: 😂 Rio: Please, no matter how big our house gets, let's never be those people Rio: I love you so much, I've been dying to tell you all day Buster: I couldn't even, I'm so tempted to get a flight now just to see you even though I'd literally have to come straight back Buster: You should've, there's no better excuse to leave school and these cunts behind Rio: I know, I was trying to be good though, Rio: I didn't want you to get caught playing hooky when we can't tell anyone why yet Buster: I'd make something up Buster: Not a bad actor myself, hopefully Buster: You know nothing's more important than this Rio: Well, had other stuff to keep me busy Rio: Not as important, or good but Rio: Drew got sentenced today, 4 years Rio: hence I'm with Indie Buster: Shit Buster: How is she? Rio: She says good but Rio: She'll be alright, I don't know if she's grasping how long it is, or if you even can Buster: Yeah Buster: Our baby will be a kid when he gets out Rio: Shit Rio: Astrid will be too Rio: it's mental Buster: Indie and Edie'll be our age basically Rio: That's scary Rio: So much could happen in that time, he's going to miss it all Buster: It's so weird Buster: Like who knows how many kids we'll have by then Rio: See how you feeling when this one arrives Rio: You might be thinking one's enough 😏 Buster: No chance Buster: And we've been through this, one kid would be too spoiled and just Buster: odd Rio: 😂 Okay Rio: but maybe you've only just recovered enough for no.2 Buster: You reckon? Buster: I think you're speaking for yourself, babe Rio: No way Rio: I want all your babies Buster: It's okay if you only want this one, you'll be doing the hard work until they're born Rio: I don't but we'll see Rio: all the focus on this one for now Buster: Yeah Buster: Jesus, I can't believe you're sitting there with my baby inside you Rio: I know, how does it feel? Buster: I don't have words Buster: When are you going to the doctor's? I wanna be there with you Rio: You don't have to, babe, they won't do anything but the test for now Buster: Yeah but still Buster: The school don't need to know I ain't sick Buster: I can be there and back before anyone realises Rio: Are you sure? Buster: I'm so sure Buster: There's nowhere else I'd rather be Buster: So when? Rio: You're so lovely Rio: I'm booked in for Friday Buster: Okay Buster: I'll be there Buster: We're a team, baby Rio: We are Rio: We get to do this all together Buster: You know I'll do anything for you Buster: Both of you now Rio: Gonna make me cry Buster: You can Buster: It's alright Rio: Not in front all these people Rio: Hold on, I'll go somewhere more quiet Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: Do you know they're like the size of a grain of sugar right now Rio: How does that turn into a human Buster: What? Really Rio: Yeah, even at a month, it's the size of a poppy seed Rio: it's tripping me out, it's so tiny Buster: Fucking hell Rio: How do I keep something so small safe Buster: We'll do it together Buster: You look after the baby and I'll look after you Rio: Yeah, I know you will Buster: What do you need like vitamins or something? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm making sure I eat right too, getting our dates right so we can plan all the scans and shit Rio: The due date is 14th January, by the way, I did the Maths Buster: I can get food delivered to you if you get too tired, there's no danger Indie will steal and eat it, like Buster: You're so good at maths I have no reason to doubt that Rio: You're so fucking cute Rio: You take such good care of me Buster: It's the only job I have right now Buster: I'm gonna do it properly Rio: Gotta get those results too, baby Rio: but I know you will Buster: I promise Buster: I'm gonna make you both proud of me Rio: We already are Rio: I know, we already been talking Rio: telling them all about their daddy Buster: You're gonna make me cry Buster: You're so fucking cute Rio: I've been missing you like crazy Buster: Yeah? Rio: Mhmm Rio: It's been very distracting, mostly in a good way Buster: I'm here now Buster: You don't need to miss me anymore Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Anything my wife wants, she can have Rio: Still the best feeling when you call me that Buster: Wait until the kid calls you mum Buster: We're gonna be parents after Christmas, babe Rio: Fuck Rio: How and when are we telling everyone Buster: I don't wanna tell them until we have to Rio: Fair Rio: Hopefully I won't get massive but Rio: who knows Buster: We could have twins Buster: There's no hiding that Rio: Oh Rio: Why didn't I even consider that Buster: 'Cause it's kind of a scary thought, like Rio: One we gotta have though Rio: When can you find out Buster: It depends Buster: Sometimes the heartbeats are so alike you don't realise Rio: 😏 Freaks Buster: Usually they work it out at the dating scan though Rio: That's okay then Rio: we'll call it it 'til then Buster: Do you want a boy or a girl? Buster: Assuming you don't get both Rio: Hmm Rio: I don't know Rio: either way it's going to be so perfect and so loved Buster: Yeah Rio: My friends with kids have all got girls though Rio: Maybe a baby boy Buster: I wouldn't be mad about it Rio: Gotta have your heir right Buster: 'Course Rio: Can't promise a 50/50 split like my Ma managed Rio: Pure skill that is Buster: I don't care if we have 11 boys or 11 girls Buster: Thinking of names might get difficult eventually though Rio: We haven't even started on the names Buster: All I know is I'm not naming any of them after me Buster: Posh cunts are always doing that Rio: Honestly Rio: There's only one you anyway, babe Rio: don't wanna give the kid a complex Buster: They deserve their own fucking name, like Buster: Not an amateur Rio: They can't have a boring name Rio: Neither of us having boring names Buster: Who in this whole family does actually? Buster: Not like we've got an uncle Bob Rio: 😂 Buster: But yeah you're right Buster: No half measures Rio: Go hard or go home baby Buster: Obviously Buster was timed out 11 hours ago Buster joined the chat 11 hours ago Buster: But coming home to you gets me hard so what can I do? Rio: I wish you were here right now Buster: Me too Buster: I just keep looking at that pic of you Buster: Amongst others, like Rio: You want some more? Buster: Always Rio: Hold on then Rio: Not tryna flash some pre-teens Buster: 😂 Buster: What kinda party is this, babe? Rio: Not that kind, soz lads Rio: Indie said I can't hang tho so Buster: So much to prove, yeah? Buster: You're a cool mum Rio: 😒 Hush Buster: But you are Buster: She just don't know it yet Rio: Seriously, it's harder to keep it secret than you'd think Rio: I told her I was on antibiotics and she was like...and? 🙄😏 Buster: If you need to tell her it's okay Buster: Like yeah we have an en suite but she still lives with us Rio: I'll tell her when we hit 12 weeks Rio: you know Rio: most don't before then Rio: I can do it Buster: Yeah but Buster: Nothing bad's gonna happen, like Buster: It's just not Rio: Yeah, of course Rio: That's all you can hope and pray for Buster: I'll do whatever I have to for you both to be safe, you know Buster: Even go to church if that's what it takes Rio: I know baby Rio: Me too Buster: You're gonna be the best mum Buster: You're the best wife already Rio: As good as I can be from a distance, like Buster: The best, end of Buster: You're keeping me going right now, babe Rio: Okay, we're both the best Rio: I can't wait for all this shit to be done, then we don't have to be apart Rio: ever again Buster: It'll go by so fast, I promise Buster: I'm gonna come back for weekends when I can Rio: Do what you gotta do baby Rio: I can be as here or as chill as you need Buster: Thank fuck your appointment is Friday so I can just stay Buster: Nobody will even bat an eyelid, like Rio: Let's just stay in bed the whole time Rio: Please Buster: 'Course baby Buster: That's all I want Rio: I'm gonna give you exactly what you need, don't you worry Buster: I'll give you anything and everything Buster: Hold me to it Rio: I just want you Buster: You've got me Buster: Whenever Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I need you so bad Rio: hate for you to not keep up, babe 😏 Buster: When haven't I? Buster: Come on Rio: 😋 Just a little encouragement Buster: Oh? Is that how you wanna play tonight Buster: Alright Rio: Maybe Rio: What you gonna do about it? Buster: Maybe I'll stop being so nice Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: Maybe I'll remember to pretend to not enjoy it Buster: You reckon? Buster: I'm not sure you're that good of an actress, babe Rio: 😱 Rio: Literally the rudest thing you've ever said to me Rio: Know we're not playing nice but damn Buster: Poor baby Buster: I only meant that I'm gonna make it impossible for you to pretend anything Rio: 🤤 Rio: Not gonna start faking it now Buster: You can't Buster: It goes against the vows Buster: And I'd know so there's no way I'm letting that happen Rio: You're right I can't Rio: You're incapable of being bad at it Buster: Yeah I am Buster: I want you too much Buster: And I need you to keep wanting me back Rio: I'm never gonna not Rio: You're the best, Buster Rio: that's why I'm keeping you Buster: I miss you Buster: I swear it gets worse every time Rio: It does Rio: At least we don't have to pretend we don't miss each other now Rio: not that that'll earn you much slack, like Buster: Which is typical 'cause exam time is the perfect excuse to be a moody, stressed cunt Rio: I bet Rio: I don't think your sister and Junie have seen sunlight Buster: I'm not surprised Buster: Nance has never thrived under pressure like I do Buster: Stick your head in some time and make sure she ain't having a breakdown, yeah? Rio: Alright, since you asked nicely Rio: I've been avoiding them best I can Buster: You're such a good girl Rio: Yours Buster: Mine Rio: You're hot Buster: For you, yeah Rio: I can't stop thinking about when you got me pregnant, well, when I think you did Rio: at the party Buster: Me either Buster: Let's hope your parents don't host anything too soon 'cause I'm having enough flashbacks as is Buster: I mean it, let's conceive all our kids like that Rio: There's basically a birthday every other week with this fam 😏 Rio: Never gonna complain again if we get to fuck like that though Buster: I'm already studying in my sister's room 'cause it's one of the only places here that we haven't fucked Buster: Now I gotta start avoiding half your house as well Buster: But at least it's only while you aren't here Rio: Oh okay, I'll keep it PG then 😇 Buster: Shut up Buster: You won't and I don't want you to Rio: Well if I'm gonna fuck you you better get back to your room boy Buster: You know I'm on my break Buster: I'm not just hanging in there draped in a rainbow flag or whatever Rio: Oh babe Rio: that's not a turn-on 😂 Buster: Exactly Buster: That's why I'm in the kitchen Buster: Getting a drink and annoying you Rio: Good Rio: Sober parties are awful Rio: You're gonna have to be so entertaining for the next 9 months Buster: Don't worry it's just water for solidarity Buster: The least I can do Rio: Baby! Rio: How are you so nice Buster: I'd be a prick to get drunk when you can't Buster: Like I said, we're a team Rio: You so can Rio: I'm not gonna be that bitch Rio: but I love you Buster: No Buster: I'm serious Rio: You're so Rio: How do people not see you like I do Buster: I don't love them like I love you Rio: I feel blessed, no hashtag needed to make it seem less genuine Rio: I mean it Buster: It's the same for me Buster: And now I get to be a dad too Buster: Actually speechless Rio: Seriously Rio: This kid is so lucky Buster: I can't wait to meet them Rio: Me either Rio: What are they going to be like Buster: They've got us for parents so Buster: Perfect obviously Rio: I can't believe we get to do this Buster: I can't believe we've got to do any of this since we first got together, honestly Buster: That I get to feel like this all the time Rio: Well we weren't meant to but Rio: give a shit then Rio: less now Buster: What did I do to deserve you 'cause I know that first kiss wasn't it Rio: I told you, you got really fucking hot Buster: Yeah? Rio: It was indecent Rio: No one's good looking at that age, fucking hell Buster: You were Rio: You think? Buster: I know Buster: I thought about you almost as much then as I do now Rio: I like thinking about that Buster: Shame I can't go back in time and tell my younger self what's gonna happen Buster: I wanted you so much Rio: I don't know if little you would survive Buster: Would definitely think I was full of shit and try and fight me Rio: Probably win Rio: he was very angry Buster: Yeah Buster: I better teach our kid how to fight in case they take after me Rio: We won't let him feel as bad as we've felt Buster: I'd die first Buster: I mean that Rio: I know baby Rio: that's why you're the best dad Buster: I'm gonna have to get used to you saying that Buster: Still getting my head around being your husband Rio: I know Rio: It gets me too Buster: I'm blushing right now Buster: [Sends photographic proof] Rio: 😩 Rio: Fuck me Rio: you're so angelic Buster: Say please first Rio: I'm begging, baby Buster: Call me Buster: I wanna hear that Rio: [Calls 'cos highkey] Buster: Jesus Buster: I think you made me lose my voice Rio: Good think you've not got any oral exams, yeah? Buster: Imagine my excuse note Buster: Like mum can you just Rio: 😏 Rio: I'll pretend to be your Ma, babe 😂 Buster: Fuck Buster: Don't make it hot Rio: You can call me mamãe and mean it baby Rio: Don't have to leave the Portuguese lessons in Brazil Buster: You're killing me right now Buster: Teach me, babe Rio: You're a fast learner, baby Rio: You've got all summer to get your tongue around it Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm gonna impress you Buster: You'll see Rio: muito gostoso Rio: that's you Buster: It's all you, baby Rio: Okay, but make it gotosa or it's getting gay and offensive to me up in here Buster: 😂 Rio: The queue for this bathroom Rio: Whoops Rio: Sorry everyone Buster: Forget them Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: Easy Rio: I'm still thinking about you Buster: I can't stop Buster: Ever Rio: Yeah, you're pretty special but save some time for me Buster: Shut up Buster: You know what I mean Rio: 😋 Rio: Make me Buster: Can you come back with me on Sunday or do you need to stay there? Rio: I don't know Rio: I probably shouldn't Rio: I know Indie is hurting Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm being selfish Buster: Forget it Rio: You aren't Rio: I want to come too Rio: and I don't really know how I'm meant to help her but Rio: we'll make the most of it Buster: You're right Buster: You always are Rio: She misses you too, by the way Buster: I'm sure the car softens the blow though Rio: I've had to be so strict or she'll have it apart before I know it Buster: She better not Buster: I'll be actually strict Rio: Daddy Rio: That's just for me Buster: Oh, are you jealous, baby? Rio: Yes. Buster: You're so hot Rio: What's a girl gotta do to get punished, honestly Buster: What can I say? You're such an angel Rio: Then do what I want Buster: If only 'cause I love it when you talk like that Buster: Okay Rio: I miss your marks Buster: I know you do Buster: Do some for me Buster: Make them last until I get there Rio: Where do you want them? Buster: Surprise me Buster: I wanna just find them Rio: You're full of good ideas Buster: You inspire me, babe Rio: I can't wait 'til I get a belly Rio: it's so sexy, don't you think Buster: Don't, you're gonna turn me on all over again Rio: Sorry Rio: being pregnant turns me on, it's your fault Buster: It's as much your fault Rio: Is that how you remember it? 😉 Buster: I've thought about it enough times, like Buster: And now I am again so Rio: Me too Rio: How they didn't hear me Rio: Fuck Buster: Or me Rio: Flashbacks so vivid I can feel it Buster: Christ Buster: You need to be here now Rio: Where would we do it first if I was Buster: Against the front door if that's where you're coming in Rio: Hope we're alone then Buster: I don't care if we aren't Rio: Find it hard to care about anything when you're inside me Buster: Good Buster: Or else I'd have to work harder Rio: No one works harder than my baby, trust Buster: It's for you Rio: And you know all of me is yours forever Buster: Is it fucked if I want you to touch yourself in the middle of this party considering how young they are? 'Cause I do Rio: No more fucked than how much I want to now you've said it Buster: Go on then Buster: Think about me and our party Rio: You were so hard under me Buster: I am now Rio: If I was sat in your lap right now, I'd be rubbing myself on you so hard, you'd feel exactly how wet I was Buster: If you were sat on my lap right now I'd make sure everyone knew exactly how bad you wanted me Buster: You'd be making every sound I like Rio: I don't even have to say a word Rio: Everyone knows I'm your little slut and that I'd do anything for you, you can see it when I look at you Buster: You're the only person who's ever turned me on with just a look Buster: The way you do it Buster: Fuck Rio: I just want you that bad Rio: It's always been obvious Buster: I need you that bad too Buster: It's as obvious here and now as it's ever been Rio: Are you touching yourself too, Daddy? Buster: [Sends pics] Buster: See for yourself Rio: Jesus Rio: That girl definitely just heard me Buster: She better have appreciated it Rio: My moans or your pics? Rio: 'Cos she ain't seeing 'em Buster: How good you sound Rio: I was too embarrassed to check Rio: and distracted by how good you look and how bad I want Rio: Actually drooling, like, Jesus boy, the things you do to me Buster: Don't ever be embarrassed by how fucking hot you are Buster: It's not even big yet and I still wanna cum all over your stomach Rio: That's just Rio: the hottest thing you've ever said Rio: Please Buster: It's true Rio: I wanna lick it up and kiss you deep so you can taste yourself Buster: I feel like the neighbours just heard me then so we're even Buster: Kinda Rio: You should shoot your cum in your own mouth tonight Rio: I promise you'll like it Rio: I do Buster: I'll record it for you Buster: We can find out my reaction together Rio: Good boy Rio: I've taught you well Buster: Say that again Rio: You're my good boy Buster: That's really getting to me Rio: You're making Mamãe very happy, baby Buster: Oh my god Buster: Rio, you're just Rio: I know Rio: Every fucked up thing you've ever thought Rio: You get to do with me, I want to Buster: 'Cause you're perfect Buster: You get me Buster: Better than anyone else ever has or would Rio: We were made for each other Rio: I believe that Buster: Me too Rio: I feel most like me when I'm with you Rio: and especially when it's just us Buster: I feel the exact same Buster: I swear Rio: I know Rio: You've never judged me for Rio: Anything Buster: I never will, baby Rio: and I'll never judge you, you can tell me anything and everything, you should Buster: We both have to Rio: I promise Buster: I promise Buster: Forever Rio: Now I'm just thinking about the honeymoon sex too Buster: I'm not sorry that you are Rio: I think all of Rio knew how happy I was to be your wife by the end of the trip Buster: Good Buster: We have to go back Buster: Not only so you get to be basically naked again Buster: But for the baby too Rio: I'm looking at our pictures now, we look really fucking good, like, we just do Rio: but of course Rio: we can have a place there if we get rich enough Buster: You always look good, but that fucking tan, Jesus Christ Buster: We can have places anywhere, everywhere, I'll make it happen Rio: I'm gonna post a throwback now Rio: so you can shamelessly perv on that Buster: You just wanna make me moan louder Rio: You will when you remember what happened directly after this photo Buster: Oh Rio: Oh? Buster: I should've known you were gonna post that one Buster: Damn Rio: I mean Rio: I was asking to be fucked on that beach, really Rio: Nothing subtle about it Buster: Not that you ever need to ask Buster: But yeah it was in your eyes, babe Rio: You looked so good that day, especially good Rio: I remember, you'd already been for a swim before I woke up and your hair was all wet and especially curly and you were just dripping holy shit Buster: Next time I fuck you on that beach I'm putting our second baby in you Rio: I need that Rio: It should be like, next level good, every time we make a baby Buster: It will be Buster: I don't think I've ever been as turned on as when we were at that party Buster: Just knowing we were creating our baby then Rio: It elevated it so much Rio: not to mention just fucking doing it there and then 'cos we wanted to Rio: I literally would not have stopped for anything or anyone Buster: Me either Buster: I couldn't Rio: You like the danger too, I've always known Rio: You didn't care about getting caught, all the stupid things we did as kids Rio: it was always so exciting when you were around Buster: I did it for you as much as me, back then even Buster: I didn't want you to forget about me Buster: So there was that purely selfish motive as well but Rio: Baby, I'd never forget you Buster: Mostly I just wanted us to have fun, you know Rio: And we did Buster: Shit was always so serious around us Rio: Yeah Rio: It was good to escape it all, for however long we were allowed Rio: you've always given me that Rio: I missed it, when we didn't see each other Buster: Me too Buster: I can't remember a time when I didn't miss you whenever I look back Buster: It's like how shit's measured, were we together or not Rio: I feel it too Rio: I tried to say it was bullshit and you know, get on with shit, other boys and stuff but Rio: I don't know Rio: something was always missing Rio: you Buster: Yeah Buster: I forgot myself when I tried to forget about you and just push it all away Buster: I think I thought if I was a different person then you wouldn't want me and I wouldn't want you Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm sorry you had to do that, ever Rio: I know I didn't make you and I did the same kind of thing but it still makes me sad Rio: we thought we were doing the right thing at the time Buster: It's alright, we're doing the right thing now Buster: Finally Buster: And I'm so happy Buster: More than I ever reckoned I would or could be, like Rio: Good Rio: Me too Rio: I finally feel like I'm on the right path again Buster: Plus, I did learn plenty of shit from all those girls who weren't you Rio: Not untrue Rio: even if I hate them all irrationally for it but you know Buster: I love how possessive you get of me Rio: I can't help it Rio: I'm just so yours that the idea of you not being mine Buster: It's the hottest thing Buster: That you're all mine and how much you wanna be Rio: Don't need the collar to own me Rio: It's always Rio: that's why I let you ink me Buster: I saw mine at school earlier and it was so distracting 'cause I was already thinking about you Rio: It's so good Rio: I bet your School would throw a shitfit if they saw, even though you're 18 and literally about to leave Buster: Yeah Buster: Some of the professors try and tell you how to have your hair still Rio: So medieval Rio: if it weren't for the leg-up you'll get and the fantasies I do, honestly, what a waste of time Buster: Literally, this girl's blonde went a slightly green somehow, fuck knows, and they sent her home Buster: Such a scandal Rio: As if a bad dye-job isn't shaming enough Rio: Ridiculous, though lucky she's there at all, only 'cos the feminists forced 'em, like Buster: Honestly Buster: But at least half of the school are the kind of posh cunts that think tattoos are only for poor people so Rio: Be low-class with me, babe Buster: You know it Buster: I had to delete so many comments off my insta post, like Buster: Shut the fuck up Rio: I can imagine Rio: The ones I didn't catch, anyway Rio: Least you can cleanse your socials with fire when you leave Buster: Sorry my parents have more money than you and I'm gonna get better grades than you but my Grandparents would be classed as scum by you Buster: Ridiculous Rio: Sound like a deluded Ma tryna make you feel better but it literally is jealousy though Rio: soz you also have a chin 'cos you ain't inbred tory as fuck, like, that's the life you been dealt, the privilege'll ease the pain of being ugly Buster: 😂 My wife's smarter than all of you and she doesn't even go here, who do you lot reckon you are Rio: 😏 Rio: Fuck the lot of 'em Buster: I'm so ready to leave Buster: Actually can't wait Rio: Seriously Rio: Uni will be so much better Buster: Especially 'cause I ain't going to Havard Rio: Yeah Rio: odds on Trinity has some decent people Rio: not all 🤓 like you Buster: I'll take fewer posh cunts Buster: You're the only nerd I'm paying attention to, like Rio: Sweet talker Rio: and a lot of 'em will be Irish so really, how posh can they be? 🤷 Buster: 'Bout as posh as you, I'd reckon Buster: Am I gonna have to learn that as well as Portuguese? Rio: Rude Rio: but true, probably Posher if they ain't from the 24, like Rio: nah, no one actually speaks it properly Buster: I love you Buster: And it's a compliment Rio: Hmm Rio: Alright Buster: Believe me Rio: You're cute Buster: So believe me Rio: I believe you meant it as one, babe Rio: Don't worry Buster: Now tell me you love me too Rio: I love you Rio: You fool Rio: I hope you don't lose your accent Buster: Unlikely since I haven't yet and I ain't lived in Cambs for ages Rio: Yeah but you only got posher with the move Buster: Shh Rio: It's hot Rio: like a disney villain Buster: 😂 Buster: Is that a fantasy from the list? Buster: Which princess do you wanna be in the roleplay? Rio: Hmm Rio: The list of brown princesses is so lacklustre Buster: You're such a good actress yeah? Create your own Rio: Or I'll just be that one you liked when you was a kid Buster: You know I didn't watch any of that shit Rio: 😏 Okay babe Buster: Come on Rio: I'm sure you only watched it 'cos Nance wanted to Rio: it's okay Buster: Lusting after the fairy godmother, like Buster: Let's not Rio: Stop 😂 Buster: The evil stepmother probably really got her going Rio: Poor Nance Buster: Let's chance the subject immediately Buster: g* Rio: What do you wanna talk about? Buster: You Rio: Oh sure, my favourite subject, like Buster: Mine too Buster: So tell me something Rio: Can you be a little more specific Buster: I haven't been gone long, but what have I missed? Buster: Give me the highlights babe Rio: Okay, lemme think Buster: While you I'm just gonna say it Buster: Not a princess, but Tinkerbell had that possessive vibe going on, and you know I like that Buster: Okay Rio: Oh Rio: That works on so many levels, Wendy was such a posh bitch Buster: Yeah exactly Buster: Sorry, carry on, I just had to get that off my chest, like Rio: I mean, very distracting thought but we'll come back to it Rio: just taking endless pregnancy tests, keeping Indie busy but outta trouble Rio: shooting, the usual really Buster: You're telling me, it ain't my fault you're so small you're actually fairy sized but you know Buster: How many tests have you done? Rio: I bought 10 Rio: I knew it had to be at least a week after so I had to wait but I did waste a couple 'cos I couldn't Buster: Babe Buster: You're so cute Buster: None of them were negative, right? Rio: I wanted to be sure Rio: yeah, they were all positive Buster: It's okay, I'm excited too Rio: I'm really excited Buster: I can't stop smiling, look Buster: [Sends selfie] Rio: Baby Rio: Your smile is my favourite thing to see Buster: Well, good 'cause I mean it so you're gonna see loads more of it for the next 9 months Rio: You're precious Rio: Nothing but good news from here on out, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Everything's gonna work out perfectly for us, baby Rio: It is Rio: us and our baby Buster: We need to give it a nickname until we can actually name it Buster: It sounds weird calling it that, it Rio: Yeah Rio: Hmm Rio: You're better at nicknames than me Buster: I'm thinking Rio: What about anjinho Rio: if I teach you to say it Buster: If that means what I think it does then yes Rio: Yeah Rio: Little 👼 Buster: We have to, 'cause it's yours and gonna be just like you Rio: and yours and you Buster: You're gonna make me cry, I was smiling a second ago Buster: I'm not supposed to be the hormonal one Rio: It would be just like you to have an empathy pregnancy Rio: drama queen 😏 Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm never dramatic Rio: Literally a dramatic response Buster: 😂 Buster: Fine, sometimes, I'm slightly dramatic Rio: It's alright, I like it about you Rio: can't be the only extra one, like Buster: Oh fuck, it's genetic Buster: Our poor baby Rio: No hope 😂 Buster: Shh Buster: Maybe it'll skip a generation Rio: It'll have a big enough ego to deal with it if not Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't worry Rio: whatever they are, we're gonna love them, yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I already do Rio: Me too Buster: What's next after the blood test? Rio: They'll hopefully tell us but I know you have like, at least 10 checkups with your first Rio: scan at 12 weeks Rio: Can find out about the classes and shit when you're here permanently Buster: Yeah that's when they'll hopefully figure out if its twins or not Buster: I'm gonna have to do all the classes Rio: I know you do screenings at roughly 10 to make sure everything is okay so Rio: it won't be long to wait Buster: Do you think we should plan a party or some shit so we can just tell everyone all at once? Rio: Could do, could make it easier Rio: or like, literal hell will break loose Buster: Option 2 sounds well more likely Buster: Maybe we should just tell our parents first and let them do the honors? Rio: I'm assuming my mother's intuition will kick in and she'll be in the know Rio: Probably amazed I got to this age without any, like Buster: I'll let her tell mine for me then 'cause she's gonna kill me Rio: Yeah Rio: Gonna hope she won't fight a pregnant lady Rio: wait 'til the kid is out, tah Buster: You'll be fine Buster: I was the one who told her not long ago that kids were in the way future Rio: Shit Rio: I mean Rio: it's too late now Buster: Yeah, but she's gonna think I lied Rio: I wish you'd had this angst earlier Buster: It's not Buster: Don't Rio: Well, she's gonna have to get used to it Rio: I can't do anything about it now, I won't Buster: Baby, don't get upset Buster: I'm sorry Rio: It's okay, I just can't start stressing about what everyone is gonna say and think Rio: if I make that my priority instead of the baby I'm gonna be miserable and do a shit job taking care of it Buster: Forget I said anything, okay Rio: I'm not trying to be unhelpful to you Rio: but I can't, not yet Rio: no one needs to know, it doesn't need to be ruined Buster: It won't be ruined anyway Buster: I won't let it Buster: What I care about most is you and the baby, it always will be Buster: Whatever anyone says and thinks Buster: It's us that matters Rio: Good Rio: I know that baby, I promise Buster: I love you more than anything Buster: And I want this baby more than anything Buster: Don't forget that Rio: I won't Rio: I love you too, Buster Buster: And don't worry Buster: I can handle my mum, or anything else Buster: You don't need to Rio: I'm gonna be there for you though Buster: Priorities, babe Buster: You have to grow this kid for us Rio: You're still my priority too Rio: Always will be Buster: I know but I'll be fine Buster: Look after him for me, 'cause he needs it more Buster: And yeah, I've decided I want a boy too, sue me babe Rio: Okay baby Rio: I'll look after your son Buster: Why is it so hot when you say it? Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Gonna have to get used to it before he's old enough to be embarrassed by our antics, babe Buster: Help me. Say it again Rio: I just can't wait 'til your son gets bigger and starts kicking and moving around Rio: imagine now excited you're gonna be then, babe Buster: Shit Buster: I never even thought about that Buster: I'll be able to feel him too Rio: Yeah babe Rio: You might even see him, which is admittedly, a bit freaky Rio: but kinda cool too Rio: Gus was always booting ma that hard, it was a madness Buster: Oh my god Buster: That's gonna hurt though, yeah? Rio: I don't think it's much in comparison to the main event so you know Rio: you probably killed your ma Buster: I'm trying not to think about that Buster: And yeah, we made her so sick as well Buster: Sorry mum Buster: I reckon you'll know if we're having twins way before they tell you Rio: Least if I am she can just be all knowing and evil about my suffering, like Rio: might calm her Buster: True Rio: Not saying that's point no. 1 but you know Buster: Do you really think your mum will figure it out? Rio: Yeah Rio: Maybe not yet but idk Rio: she's got a nose for that shit, seen it enough times, I guess Buster: Weird Rio: 😂 Rio: When I start vomming all the time but refusing a drink, it won't take a genius, like Buster: I know Buster: I just Rio: What? Buster: I don't wanna share this with them all Rio: Yeah Rio: I get it Rio: I don't think she'll make an announcement for me Rio: it's still our thing Buster: I'm being unfair, aren't I? Rio: No Rio: just cute Buster: You're just being nice Rio: I am not Rio: such a 😈 you'll see Buster: Yeah? Buster: What are you gonna do? Rio: I said you'll see Rio: patience, baby boy Buster: Those are stalling tactics Buster: I knew you were too much of a 😇 Rio: 😖 Rio: Don't Rio: First Indie calls me uncool, now you, so rude Buster: I'm not calling you uncool, I'm calling you a good girl Buster: And I'm motivating you, babe Rio: Hmm Buster: You know it's working Buster: Don't act like you're not even more determined to be bad now Rio: You're not always right, you know 😒 Buster: I'm not trying to come for your title Buster: I'm just right about this Buster: Prove me wrong about how good you are baby, I know you want to Rio: I will Rio: answer your phone

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