#what do I do with this

[xox-jynx-xox]

I have over half a million words of the middle parts of stories!

a constant problem

[misfortuneskeep]

[balkanradfem]

Friends, I have a devastating/confusing update regarding the hot woman in the building, I don't even know what's going on anymore, you be the judge and tell me what you think.

So, if you remember last time we met, she gave me her number, she didn't have her phone on her, so I called her so she could save my number and call me, and come over. She never called and I assumed she just forgot or didn't save my number at all. So I'm like, okay, she doesn't care that much, it's okay, I no longer have a crush on her, I'm normal about this.

Yesterday, as I was about to head out in the evening, I see her standing in front of the building, as if waiting for someone to let her in. I'm someone. I open the door and she greets me happily, and we start chatting in the doorway. We were chatting for half an hour, she didn't seem in any rush, she was done with work, she told me she's about to go shower and relax for the day.

So in that conversation, we touched up the subject of how it feels to live with other people, since we're both introverts, and I mentioned 'oh but you live with your son and have to take care of him every day, but that's different, that's love' and she goes 'well you could find a guy and then live with him and you'd have love too'. And I froze. My eyes went blank. Soul fully left the body. I stared at the distance. The only reply I managed was a slow 'Oh.' My every thought about her was re-engineered in my head to accept that this woman not only has no interest in me, but is probably straight. Which was tough but I dealt with it, I accepted it, straight people can have buzzcuts I guess, whatever.

I responded with something like 'oh I don't want to clean after them, you know how they are' and we had a fun 5 minutes just trashing males, she told me she got divorced twice so I knew that she knew what was up, she agreed with me on most points.

I think my blank stare and extreme reaction I had about being told to 'get a guy' tipped her off about something, because she afterwards started talking about how she would maybe do better with a woman, and I was like Oh?? But then she backtracked and said she was scared of being heard because people in here are not very accepting of that, but she is, she thinks 'gay is okay' (I am nodding with a smile). She tells me about living abroad and how people are not actually accepting of that, but they don't care as much, nobody bothers you. At this point I'm just confused of what she's saying, like is she telling me about her personal experiences of being openly into women abroad? Or just talking in general what she noticed about homophobia out there? Or was it about trying to survive out there with a buzzcut? I don't know.

Then we sneaked into the bicycle room and she complained how I always wear a hat, so I explain to her that I have to, because I have sick ears; she's asking me over and over can't I just take it off, for a second? Basically begging me to take it off, just so she can see me without it, and I fold, and take off my hat, and she's mesmerized. She's looking at me with this weird shine in her eyes like she's never seen anything like it before, I'm pleased but also utterly confused because if you're straight why are you looking at me like this?

I decide enough is enough and I need to bring her over, so I drag her into my apartment, we've been talking for so long just in the hallway and we could be in my kitchen. She goes reluctantly, and then lingers at the entrance and doesn't come to the kitchen after me. I come back and ask 'Are you uncomfortable here? Do you not want to see the kitchen?' and she apparently was worried she would dirty the floor with her shoes. So I drag her over to the kitchen, and I luckily had a little jar of candied quince which I made the other day! (sidenote, did you know that David Karp makes candied quince recipes online? I have discovered this.) She loves my candied quince, and again, goes 'You're ready to get married' to which I'm immediately SO MAD, and I fight her on it, I go 'Do you think a husband could make candied quince??' and she looks at me 'oh no way' 'Well I DON'T WANT A M*N WHO CAN'T EVEN CANDY QUINCE and she laughs. I also give her a persimmon I got as a gift, because that's a semi-exotic fruit and I want her to try it. She likes my kitchen, gives me nice comments on every little handmade pillow and basket, she's in general so sweet, she hugs me, she likes my paintings, I'm happy. Then when we were getting ready to both leave, she goes 'I see you hate bras just like I do', and I'm offhandedly saying 'yeah who created that evil' but in my head I'm like I'm wearing a sweater right now, I'm wearing a sweater and you noticed? You looked at my chest enough to notice, and then you informed me you don't wear a bra either??? And then I called her phone again to be sure she saves my number, which she didn't the last time, and we both part and go our merry way.

I am driven mad by her behaviour and I don't know whats going on. Could anyone diagnose this situation. I am weeping I've been told to marry off a guy twice. I'm being pressured into being an unwilling bride by a woman with a buzzcut who I had a crush on. Regret and devastation. But then she also does things that I would call flirting if I thought she was in any way interested. I told her to stop calling me child-nicknames too and it did not work. I'm 34 I don't deserve this.

[vanillayoteart]

A standalone art I did on a thrifted picture.  My friend who was with me at the time said "Yeah i could tell something caught your eye. Your whole demeanor changed for a second when you saw it"

[non-tyrannical-usa]

slides you a bottle of olive oil

uh

thank you?

[ask-cloverfield]

[vivispec]

Recently cursed with the knowledge that I can sing Evanescence better than I have any right to, and not entirely certain what to do with this information.

[absolutelyzoned]

i jsut caught a big ass fly in my hand and now i have a personal noisemaker :)

[sunnycanwrite]

Wtf a box of communion just arrived on my porch

[cheapbananas]

writing prose about judas and jesus as baptists in modern day america and its feeling a little bit too much like macdennis fanfiction

[ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask]

I am laying in bed cuddling my sleeping Wife. Suddenly she rolls over and pushes me off her.

“You’re not allowed to touch me,” she says firmly.

I am surprised to say the least. “Why?” I ask.

“Because we aren’t related,” is the response.

[atari-phantom]

Everyone, I'm working at an event for my town right?

THEY JUST HANDED ME A BAG OF RAW FISH TO TAKE HOME. WHERE TF AM I GONNA PUT THIS FOR NOW!?

WHAT DO I DO WITH A BAG OF RAW FISH!? I'm not even OFF WORK soon yet!

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

hands you a half-eaten grilled cheese

thank you

[sealbunny]

This time we were so close and now I’ve forgotten what your hand feels like in mine

[lavsnz]

more on wild vanillas

- saw a post that said “sneezed a lot today 🌸 but smiled even more!” … WILD

- blessed someone at work again

- i was coughing & allergies & asthma were acting up so naturally the coughing was worse because i was lowkey having an asthma attack lol & the sneezy facetime friend asked if i was okay which was so sweet

- the sneezy facetime friend once again sneezed & i blessed her & she thanked me for it

i love blessing people & being thanked for it like yes please acknowledge the fact that i blessed you