#what did i do wrong that night. why am i no longer enough
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billgenbrough · 4 months ago
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Do you ever start having a fucking internal breakdown because you start thinking about how things with a specific person have changed so drastically over the years through no fault of your own
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livvivviss · 6 months ago
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lazy people probably won't want to read it 🙄🙄 HAHSHDA
How to shift: EMBODY YOUR DR SELF!! ☀️
Fuck the five senses
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Most of us always focus on the process of shifting, the symptoms, the 5 senses, overanalyze our process and being very critical of ourselves, we try to analyze why we don't shift, giving ourselves excuses and explanations Saying "I didn't do enough", "I should have tried harder" I wish you guys to STOP THAT.
Actually, none of the above matters. The reason you think the methods, meditation, etc matters it's because of your assumptions and beliefs because you didn't get there and you think "you're doing something wrong" and you ARE NOT, leave that mentality behind and stop seeing shifting as a task or obligation, as something with steps that must be followed to the letter.
Stop and get back to BASICS, When you are trying to get to your DR, stop thinking and focus on "I have to get there" just think that YOU ARE THERE, think ABOUT YOU, about your dr self, who are you in your dr? This is why it is very important that you like your dr's self, and not just an "improved 2.0 me, now with ultra-powered engines" because it just makes you feel uncomfortable, and you need to feel comfortable with being your dr self, You must like being yourself, you must know yourself, dive into your brain and connect with your dr self and with who you're there.
And when you connect with who you are there, forget about everything else, forget how many breaths you have to take, what number you are on, or if you visualize enough, just connect with you, with who you are. By connecting with your 5 senses and with the environment, you are not traveling, I mean this is okay but when you're trying to shift, the shift it's in the mindset, not in the around, it happens in your subconscious, it happens when you become that person, you are becoming your dr self not your environment, WHO ARE YOU? Connect with that person. Start with "Who am I?" "What am I doing here?" "What is my name?" Until it becomes a natural flow, connect with your thoughts until it becomes a natural flow. You did it, you've shifted, when you are fully connected to your dr self and you no longer need to think like your dr self thinks, you are there, and nothing else matters, fuck if "your environment tells you otherwise", It doesn't matter what you see, hear or feel anymore, you are in your dr and you are your dr's person. You know that you're there because of your mindset, enjoy that because that is shifting, that is change, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE, this is manifesting, and manifestation happens instantly when you change your mindset.
The process of shifting doesn't have to take a long time, it doesn't have to take years, the only reason it takes you so long is because you see it as homework. Get out of that mindset, connect with yourself, change your mindset, delate everything else, stop making everything so difficult. "I didn't shift last night because-" STOP, there's no reason you haven't shifted. We shift in every decision we make, when you go to bed YOU HAVE ALREADY SHIFTED, but you are not going to accept it and you MUST accept it.
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Why you should embody your dr self (good for lazy shifters):
You should try to connect with your dr self instead of using the five senses or connecting with your dr it's because:
1. It's a bit backwards to try to connect with your surroundings instead of yourself. As I said before, you are not shifting to be your environment, you are shifting to be you, to be your dr self. (Although I'm not saying that using all 5 senses is a bad thing, but you shouldn't focus only on that)
2. Embodying your dr self bypasses all the extra shit about you just lying in your bed trying to shift. The moment you connect with your dr's self, you have already shifted, because if you were not in your dr you would not be able to access the thoughts of your dr self. And when you are focused on this, you are no longer focused on the symptoms and that is the best thing that can happen to you because YOU SHOULDN'T FOCUS ON THE SYMPTOMS because it's not a physical process, physical change comes after the change of mentality. Connecting with your dr self's thoughts is much better than memorizing affirmations and meditating, it's more natural, you enjoy it more and it's less tiring.
3. In the case that your physical environment does not end up changing, you end up connecting with your dr self (THAT IS SO IMPORTANT) you alredy had the mindset shift. And many people when they start doing all this, they start having dreams about themselves being their dr self, and having experiences in their dreams being their dr self, and that is SO GOOD (it's literally happening to me) Taking this post into account, I assure you that YOU WILL SEE CHANGES YES OR YES this is a connecting point.
• Please make this post viral, shifters need to know this 🙏🙏
This was a summary of @shaysplanett's 7 and 10 minute videos. We love her (she was really helpful to me)
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deathbxnny · 2 months ago
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Loved your writing of arcane characters saying things they regret during an argument. Would you be willing to do a version with Jayce, Viktor and Silco? I apologize if you don't prefer to write about these characters, you can ignore this
Arcane men saying things they'll regret during an argument. | Viktor, Jayce, Silco x Gn!Reader
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Oh, I absolutely am willing to do that, Anon!! These are going to be pretty irredeemable, though, so there is not going to be a part two to this... anyways, enjoy!!<3
Content: Season 2 spoilers!!, heavy angst, hurt/no comfort, break ups, swearing, gaslighting, toxic behavior, sfw
Reader has no mentioned pronouns.
((Not proofread))
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》VIKTOR
"This... isn't you anymore, Viktor. A-And I refuse to keep lying to myself like this either!" You hissed out one night, unable to keep it in any longer. You were losing your mind in this compound of his, unable to understand how seemingly no one was able to recognize how wrong everything was. People who were "healed" by him weren't the same after. They turned into robotic and uncanny husks of their old selves.
A terrifying sight that unnerved you deeply. And only you here.
The nail in the coffin was perhaps the skeptical appearance of Councilor Salo. Never in your life had you ever seen him give a damn about anyone but himself. He lived a life of riches and materialism, far from the selfless and minimalistic lifestyle found here. But after your boyfriend healed him of his inability to walk, he suddenly preached the same ideals that everyone else did.
Peace, love, and community.
Those were the important pillars of this idyllic place Viktor had created, and yet you couldn't see past the clear red flags that weaved themselves in their white attire. You were never much of a genius like he was, but it didn't take much brainpower to understand that this was not a great place to be in. No matter how hard he attempted to convince you of that.
"... I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm afraid I can not follow your reasoning for this claim. I am myself... just someone greater. More meaningful. Isn't that beautiful?" His voice was so gentle and patient in comparison to yours. Something that wasn't unusual to him. But the way he used that tone now made you sick. "Terrifying is a better word, actually... Why can't you see that this is just wrong? You're not healing anyone-" "-But I am. Look around you. Is that not enough for you to finally believe me, my love? I want to create a better world... one in which we can live freely together." Your mind spun, his words ringing in your head dangerously. And you hated every second of it.
This isn't the man you loved anymore. He must have died that fateful day when the sky fell from above, and he covered you with his body to save you. His last act of kindness as your boyfriend and lover before he perished and left behind whoever he was. And you'd be damned if the last good memory got tainted too.
"No. I will not let you play with my mind anymore. I've had enough." You pushed past him, wanting to finally escape this borderline cult. Originally, you had only followed after him because you couldn't bear being without him. Jayce was right, though. He really was different now.
"Hm... it seems like I was right about you after all." You stopped in your tracks yet didn't dare face him. "You truly are not worth saving... you can't grasp the beauty of what I have made. I suppose everyone's claims for your low intelligence were, unfortunately, right. What a shame." How could a devil have such a soothing, loving voice? Why did the monster that now lurked in your shadow have to have your lovers face? The cruelty was too much to bear.
Who would have thought that you'd finally leave him for good after all the years you've taken care of him? This moment felt so surreal and yet ironically freeing as well. The end was near. "Did you... ever even love me?" You asked aimlessly, but didn't wait to hear his answer.
Perhaps if you had, however, you would've seen that sudden spark of surprise in his eyes, as you slipped out of his fingers for good at last.
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》JAYCE
You had looked everywhere for him. And after also asking everyone under the sun if they had seen your boyfriend, you had eventually determined that he must've somehow gone missing. Worried sick, it pained you knowing that there wasn't much you could do either, considering that everyone was too busy getting ready for a borderline war and Caitlyn became unreachable as a result. Yet just as you began to lose hope, your dear lover finally returned... but he wasn't the same.
He didn't look the same, nor did he act the same, in fact. He looked so different that it even visibly startled you when you found him rummaging through his once shared laboratory. You had just returned from another wrap around the building in hopes of finding it, and whilst you'd consider yourself lucky this time around, all you now felt was genuine dread.
"Jayce...? What happened to you? I looked for you everywhere and-" You stilled at the intense look he gave you, his face flinching for a moment, as though his mind couldn't comprehend your image. Glancing over at his peculiar weapon of choice, you felt unnerved at how even that looked uncanny. The entire situation was unnerving you deeply, to say the least. "You... You shouldn't be here." He finally muttered, his voice deeper and colder than it ever was. Jayce always had such a fun and warm voice. If you didn't know any better, you would've questioned who he was a while ago.
"Hey... tell me where you were, okay?" You said, trying a more gentle approach as you neared him, eyes focused on his clearly injured leg. Had he been kidnapped? You doubted it. So what made him end up like this? Nothing you could come with explained his appearance. His hair and beard were way longer than they should have gotten in the short span of time he was gone, too.
Reaching down carefully, you tried to inspect his leg, but he seemed less receptive to the idea. Or so you assumed, after he shoved you away roughly and held the hammer to your face at impressive speed. His eyes were glossy, as though he wasn't entirely all there. He was reliving a terrifying moment in his mind, unaware of the horror you were going through. Never could you have ever thought of ending up in this position with him. "Jayce! What the hell are you doing-?" "-Get away! I know what you are... you've been sent by him too, weren't you?" You let out a shriek when he swung the hammer at you, only giving you a fraction of a second to jump out of the way.
Falling onto your behind, you quickly crawled backward and away from him, tears welling up in your eyes. Your scream seemed to at least wake him up, though, as he finally lowered his weapon and blinked at you in surprise. "Fucks sake! What is wrong with you?" You yelled out, yet as fast as his face softened, it hardened again. "... Sorry... I need to leave." Quickly making his way past you, he only barely escaped your presence before you grabbed onto the fabric of his pants. "Why? Where are you going? Why can't you tell me anything?"
The look in his eyes made you shrink away. This wasn't your Jayce anymore. "... The future of everyone in Piltover hinges on me being there on time. Now, make yourself useful for once and get out of my way." Shaking you off harshly, he left you crying on the cold floor of the once lively laboratory, not once looking back.
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》SILCO
When you first met Silco, you were both still leading simple lives in the last drop with his brother and all of your other friends in Zaun. The lanes were harsh and, at times, cruel, yet you fought through the agony of it all together. Years down the line later, you find yourself still reminiscing on those heavenly days, particularly those of your lover who had turned for the worst in the time being. And the question of why you didn't listen to Vander's warnings came to mind again then. Perhaps you were just too used to excusing everything his brother did, especially after he had attempted to drown him so horrifically, which left him permanently injured.
But even so... why didn't you just listen? Why did it take so many years for you to finally throw the towel and leave for good? Finally realise that the man you loved was a monster? A disgusting and evil monster who was willing to use the plight of others for his own gain. And for what? Money? Fame? Power? It was all an ego trip you had far more than enough of. Zaun was his playground, and an escape was impossible. You'd be, however damned if you didn't at least try to anyways. Even if just in Vander's honor as a long-awaited apology.
Pushing past the crowd in the stuffy, full Last drop, you finally reached his office upstairs. Not caring about formalities anymore, you knocked and opened the door without awaiting a reply. If death met you behind it, then so be it. "Ah, darling, in a hurry today, aren't you?" "We need to talk. Alone." Short and straight to the point. Raising a brow, he shared a look with Jinx, who was just done giving him his daily "medicine". Oh, how you hated your lover's dearest creation. Shimmer. The exact thing that had ruined your lives for good. But you pushed away your disdain for the task at hand.
Giving Jinx a dismissive wave of his hand, you waited for her to be gone for good before taking a breath to speak. But Silco beat you to it. Always so painfully perceptive. "The answer is no, if you're here asking to leave. I refuse to let you go, dear. You have no one else but me after all. You wouldn't survive on your own." He always underestimated you, so this wasn't an all to surprising response. And if you were just a couple of months younger, you would have maybe agreed and backed off. But you were sick of his games.
"I didn't come here to ask for permission, Silco. I'm here to say goodbye." The slightest, softest crack at the last word gave you away horribly. You certainly didn't expect your feelings for the man to betray you, but even that won't stop you now. Said man just hummed in response as he stood up to face the window. His hands calmly lit a cigar, very much unbothered. But you knew that your sentence had gotten to him anyway with how his hand shook ever so slightly. Out of anger, most likely.
"So you think you can do whatever you want? Leave after you've spent so many years at my side? Your hands aren't as clean as you think they are, darling. Even yours are a bright violet." A reference to the shimmer vials on his desk. He knew how much you hated it, so this felt like a jab. A jab at the deep guilt you felt every day for enabling the death of all of your friends indirectly. If only you had stopped him from the start... then maybe you wouldn't have to feel the dread that ruined you from the inside anymore.
"I've accepted my flaws and sins a long time ago. I may not be better than you... but sometimes, in order to end the cycle, you have to walk away and leave some things behind." You suddenly felt so content, his cold and terrible words not reaching you anymore. You were so close to leaving. So close to leaving Zaun and Piltover like you've always dreamed. But Silco just scoffed in disbelief.
"Hah, don't give me that self-righteous shit... I've been there for you for so many years, dear. I've taken care of you, fed you, and loved you to my best ability for so long. The least you could do is be grateful for my kindness." "So you think I'm a burden?" The silence was deafening, but it was enough to confirm your long-standing suspicions. He had lost his love for you a long time ago. Perhaps the side that loved you so purely drowned in the river with him.
"... Goodbye. I hope one day you can walk away too." You turned and began walking out then, suddenly realising that it's finally over. Shoving your hands into the pocket of your coat, you felt the ticket for the skyship you had to take. "Don't you dare leave. Don't you dare it-" All bark and no bite as usual. There was no stopping you now, and he knew it. He was letting you go after all. You could just hope that one day he'd listen to your words and end the cycle, too.
What a shame that you won't be there at his side to see it, however... maybe in another life then.
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alllgator-blood · 2 months ago
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'FOGGY STREETS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS'
(part 3/3)
I'm gonna infodump about the backstory of this comic, don't feel obligated to read it because it's not cotl related it's just personal stuff, I just want to be able to write about it somewhere cause I can't really talk to anyone about it.
As always, thanks for reading this far, sorry my stuff has been such a bummer so consistently. This comic goes out to all my "christmas induced depression" homies, I left my house maybe like ~5 times all month and it was NOT pleasant hearing "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!" on the radio when I'm so ready for it to be over. Gonna take it reaaaaal easy til the year ends, you guys take it easy too!! Got some asks I have to respond to when I'm more stable but probably no new comic pages til january
Alright uhhh so this part of the comic is pretty much taken directly from the last time I saw my great-grandma alive, a few days before christmas. She didn't remember me, but at the nursing home there was a piano, and I sat down and played some stuff because I didn't know what to say. I was really into lisa the painful rpg at the time, and I played that "I've got the joy" song that the villain sings without realizing it was an old christian campfire song. She didn't really say much or move that whole night, just kind of gave me a polite blank smile, but started singing the words when I played the notes to that song.
I kinda stopped in shock, my dad frantically asked me to keep playing, so I did. While the comic I made is way more sappy than the actual moment was, I wish I'd cherished the moment longer. I didn't know it was the last time I'd see her alive. Every family christmas was held at her house when she was around, so it's been weird the past few years. I actually lost another dementia-addled grandma to cancer on christmas eve in 2009, so the holiday was already kind of weird for me on top of everything else that makes me sad this time of year. That's what part 2 was about, I'll spare the details but I wrote leshy to act out how I felt back then. Why are we all sad? This is supposed to be a happy time, all the decorations are up and we're almost all here, so why is everyone smiling yet everything feels so wrong? I feel like since leshy's canonically the most ignorant one to things lurking below the surface, he'd be the one to try and make everyone feel better but not quite understand why everyone is so miserable. My first memory of having self injurious behavior came from then, hence why I had leshy pull his leaves off in the last comic. It was confusing and frustrating and I was just old enough to comprehend something was wrong, but not old enough to understand the depth of it, it DEFINITELY didn't help that nobody helped me back then so I made leshy's siblings actually come in clutch instead of grabbing him/yelling at him.
That night with the piano was something that's stuck with me the few years she's been gone, but I felt kind of strange when I asked my dad and my sister about it and neither of them remembered it. The room we were in was completely empty so nobody else witnessed it but us three. I myself have a history of head trauma and memory loss (plus, native americans are disproportionately more likely to develop dementia... lucky us) so if I ever forgot about that moment, there'd be nobody left to remember it. Sometimes when I do comics, it's my way of going "this happened at some point, and the only evidence it ever happened was me witnessing it, so if something happens to me I want the memory to stay alive in some form."
Anyway. The autistic urge to overshare, am I right? Idk what my religious ass great-grandma would think of me drawing demonic comics about my last memory of her, she'd probably think it's funny though cause she raised my dad whose interests have always been "death metal and devil worship". I'm not sure if anyone read this far, I just hope my dumb comics can convey the things I can't say with my voice and struggle to say through text. None of this was supposed to be "feel bad for me!! Woe is me!!", it was supposed to me more like...cathartic? Healing? I almost didn't post this comic because it felt kinda weird, but seeing people connect with it made it worth it imo. Thank you
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ailoda · 2 months ago
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updated: 01.02.25
ᯓ★ mob!au
Run For Your Life (❤✘): he was away from the city for a while, chasing after some bastards who betrayed him. But the traitors were no longer breathing now and Bucky Barnes was finally able to come home to the city he ruled. Mostly, he was excited to come back and see his girl again. However when he got to the strip club where you worked as a waitress, he didn’t find you there. They told him you didn’t work there anymore. No one knew where you went, or why you left. Nobody even knew your real name. Now it was up to him to search the whole wide world to find a nameless girl – one he was obsessively, mindlessly in love with. (@sinner-as-saint) (warning: stalking tendencies)
Passionfruit (❤✘): you spend a well deserved lazy day with your mafia husband and son… plus Bucky getting a little handsy. (@kurogxrix)
Look Don't Touch (❤): you accidentally walk onto your husband and his men during a meeting, clad in nothing else but a tight-fitting top and a baby in your arms. The sight is enough to send the many men drooling, but Bucky reminds them that you’re only his to look at, and will always be. (@kurogxrix)
The Alchemy (❤❅✘): about a decade ago you left your home and ran away, looking for a fresh start after having had your heart broken by the boy you loved. Now you’re back and turns out Bucky Barnes – the same man who once broke your heart – is adamant on tormenting you some more. But why? Why does he want you back at all cost when he was the one who once pushed you away and crushed your heart like it meant nothing to him? What secrets has he been keeping for almost a decade? Most importantly, what truly happened that night he broke your heart? (@sinner-as-saint) (warning: forced marriage/marriage of convenience, possessive behaviours)
4 Minutes (✘): you and Bucky had limited time to spend intimately during the past few days, leaving you both extremely sexually frustrated. When your son’s occupation offers you 4 minutes of free time, Bucky’s damn adamant on making your legs shake in less than 3. (@kurogxrix)
Protector (❤✧): ironically, the man with blood on his hands and a permanent target on his back was the one you’d never felt safer with. (@cherryrogers) (warning: mild violence, assault, stalking, mentions of illness, death)
Honey, There Is No Right Way (❤❅✘): when you agree to be the feared mobster Bucky Barnes’ sugar baby, you expect to get enough money to pay your bills. what you don’t expect is to fall head over heels for him. (@bonky-n-steeb)
A Love For The (P)ages (❤): Bucky might be the baddest mob boss in the city but he’s the softest and sweetest husband in the Universe. (@jobean12-blog)
Stealing Hearts (❤❅✘): his mansion was highly secured, and yet, breaking in and trying to steal from him was rather easy for a skilled thief like yourself. Key word: trying. Of course you got caught by his men. And the mob boss was known to be ruthless, cold, merciless – the list of his villainy was endless – so you thought he’d end you the moment he laid eyes on a thief like you. However, he didn’t. Instead, he made you an unusual offer. One you couldn’t resist. (@sinner-as-saint)
Come Home (❤✘): Bucky comes home to find you and your son asleep in your bed and his heart damn near explodes with how much he loves his family. And after putting your baby to sleep, Bucky proceeds to show you just how grateful he is to have you and how much he loves you… (@sinner-as-saint)
I Am Your Fall (❤❅✘): you’re hiding from your past, in Madripoor. You did nothing wrong, other than mix dangerous business with a lot of pleasure. You couldn’t go home because… he would find you, and Madripoor was the only place he didn’t do business, or had any allies or friends. But little did you know that the mob boss had finally found you, after obsessively looking for you ever since you left, and left him in pieces. He didn’t want revenge, he just wanted the one thing he had hopelessly fallen in love with; who also happened to be the one who had betrayed him and hurt him more than anyone or any bullet ever did before - you. (@sinner-as-saint)
Fallin' For Ya (❤): Bucky finds himself standing in front of your door with a bouquet of roses, wondering when he’s ever allowed his stone-cold mafia heart to fall in love with you. (@kurogxrix)
Yours To Wield (❤❅✘): with the enemy threatening to obliterate your family, you’re left with no choice but to take the hit just so he would spare your loved ones. Belonging to a mafia family requires sacrifices to be made at every step, and in order to save your family you make the ultimate one - you offer yourself up to the enemy. Bucky Barnes isn’t a man one negotiates with, he owns this city and whatever he says is considered law. But when you come to him with an irresistible offer, he bends his own rules for you. What starts out as an agreement becomes so much more, and the two of you find love where it wasn’t supposed to be. But rare are the love stories which don’t include some sort of war. (@sinner-as-saint)
Lover Boy (❅✘): it's the Bridgerton carriage scene, but make it mob!Bucky. (@cryptidcasanova)
Starting Over (❤❅): when Bucky throws you out of the house for a betrayal and won't listen to your side of the story, you know the only way out is through - it's time to start over. Maybe this was never going to be your happy ending. (@sashaisready)
Guard Dog (❤❅): Bucky doesn't take too kindly to people hurting his wife. (@auroralwriting)
Adore Her, Dior Her (❤): what good is having all that money if he can't spend it on the woman he loves? (@queers-gambit)
Ending, Beginning (❤❅): after months of physical therapies, Y/N was finally back in town and ready to jump right back into business as usual. Bucky, however, disagreed; he didn’t want her anywhere near the club anymore. (@leascorner)
The Threat of Intimacy (❅✘✧): a beautiful bride marrying the man of your dreams. But when faced with what comes after the vows and first dance as Mr. and Mrs Barnes, you suggest that a particular arrangement be made. (@darkdemeter)
Bad Romance (❤❅✘): in Brooklyn, everyone knows the unwritten rule: you don’t cross James Barnes. When you return after nearly half a decade, things are anything but the same. After the murder of your Uncle, you begin to learn that no one is who they say they are, and that you may have accidentally given your heart to a mobster; The White Wolf of Brooklyn. More dangerous than that, he’s given you his. (@samthemarvelfan)
Promises (❤❅): when your parents are murdered in cold blood, you turn to the most feared man on the east coast for answers. (@preciousbarnes) (warning: graphic depictions of murder)
new! Suite Spades (✘): at the club where you danced it wasn’t unusual for you to have regulars, they were normally gross married men but there was one regular that stood out from the rest, your favorite. a grumpy ‘business’ man with a black metal arm. (@lostalioth)
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writingwithciara · 3 months ago
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family game night -quinn hughes-
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summary: game night at the lake house. what could go wrong?
word count: 2.6k
pairing: quinn hughes x reader
notes: idk
game nights at the hughes' lake house were mandatory for anyone staying there. they were also known for being the most fun anybody in the group ever had.
but with the good times, come the bad ones and the awkward ones. some friendships are seriously tested when game night begins and if one of the boys brings a girlfriend to a game night, the relationship usually doesn't last much longer than the summer.
and that is why a 'no significant others allowed' rule was implemented for the summers. everyone wanted to protect their respective relationship and refused to subject their significant other to the torture that ensued.
hanging in the family room was a scoreboard that kept track of who had won the most games since the family game night started years ago. and luke hughes was tied for first place with his jack's best friend, y/n.
the youngest hughes had dreamt of claiming the crown on his own but that became impossible when he and y/n got paired together the first night. they went on to win every game that night and decided they would always partner together.
jack used to argue with it, claiming that it was against the rules to be with the same partner year after year. but seeing y/n and luke jump for joy whenever they won, meant more to him than he expected so he dropped the argument after the second year.
so when luke was unavailable for the fourth year, y/n turned to her best friend.
"please jack? you're my best friend and i can't win without you."
"don't you mean you can't win without luke?" jack smiled, knowing it would get on her nerves. but that's what they did. they bickered like brother and sister.
"he's the dumbass who went and broke his arm earlier this week so if you won't be my partner, i'm gonna lose my crown."
"well, it's about time, ain't it princess?"
"jack, i'm serious. will you please be my partner?"
"no can do, sweetheart. already promised trevor i'd play with him this year."
"but i thought this year, you were gonna partner with quinn. and if he's not your partner, then that means-"
"that he's a free agent. why don't you ask him to be your partner?"
"we never talk. i highly doubt we'd be on the same wavelength long enough to retain my crown."
"wouldn't hurt to ask. you both need a partner and you're both good at games." jack shoved some chips in his mouth and snatched the remote back that y/n had taken from him when she entered the living room.
"you were no help, jackass." y/n rolled her eyes and went upstairs to find quinn.
that was the year she and quinn won every game, causing her to take the lead over luke in most wins. she was happy with the outcome and had decided to partner with quinn the following year.
but when she arrived at the lake house for the 5th year, she was shocked to find out that quinn had brought his new girlfriend for the few weeks they'd be on vacation. and that meant that she'd be back with luke for game night. but that didn't bother her. she loved playing games with luke but she was under the impression that she and quinn had a surprisingly good amount of chemistry when it came to game night.
when jack arrived at the house, he went to quinn and started restating the rules.
"i thought we had a rule, quinn. no significant others allowed. remember?"
"i remember. but i also made the rule and therefore, am the one who can lift it. plus, our relationship is strong enough to withstand the torture of game night."
"well then if you're allowed to have your girlfriend here, then i'm going to invite mine." jack pulled out his phone and dialed his girlfriends number.
"i am too." luke did the same, leaving y/n to wonder who her new partner would be.
after everyone arrived, it was officially time to start the game night. since all the boys ended up inviting their girlfriends, y/n was forced to partner with brock. she didn't know much about him and he was fairly new to the group so she was worried about losing. but he turned out to be amazing. they ended up winning 2 of the first 3 games, basically securing her spot at the top of the leaderboard. but when quinn and jack got in an argument about whose relationship was stronger, their version of the newlywed game was announced.
"we don't have to play this, right?" y/n asked while looking up at brock.
"we don't have to. but i'm sure there's a way we could kick their asses in this game." brock smiled.
quinn went to go find the game and each couple started their own conversations.
"if we want to win, i need to know everything about you."
y/n and brock began to share as much information with each other as they could before quinn came back with the board and question cards. he quickly explained the rules and the game began.
after 12 rounds, it was shocking how far ahead y/n and brock were. for not being a couple, they somehow knew more about each other than the real couples did.
when y/n answered another question about brock right, quinn threw the cards down.
"you guys are obviously cheating. there's no way that brock could've known that your favorite meal to eat when you're upset is meatballs covered in nacho cheese with a glass of orange juice. or that you had a crush on danny phantom until you were 14. or that when you're sick, you really enjoy cuddles on the couch while watching coraline on repeat." quinn looked from y/n to his girlfriend. both girls were giving him weird looks. "what?"
"you sound jealous, quinny." his girlfriend marissa narrowed her eyes at him.
"i'm not. i just don't like losing this game. our relationship is strong enough that i don't have to prove it with this stupid game." he grabbed his drink and stood up. "come one, babe. let's go."
he and marissa walked outside while the group dispersed into their own little worlds.
"guess that means we win, huh?" brock looked at y/n as he began cleaning up the game.
"yeah. guess so." she smiled and started helping him. "thanks for helping me retain my crown."
"it was a lot of fun. maybe next year, we can be partners again."
"okay. that sounds like a good idea." y/n looked at the back door and saw quinn and marissa arguing. "so, what do you think was going on with quinn earlier?"
"i'm not sure. he's usually competitive but seeing him blow up over a game as meaningless as that one was very odd. but also kind of interesting." brock followed her gaze and only saw quinn standing outside. "i think he has a thing for you."
"no he doesn't. why would you say that?"
"the way he was upset that we were getting so many questions right."
"he would've gotten mad at anyone who was beating him."
"but he and marissa were in 5th place. he could've gotten upset with trevor, luke or cole. he didn't have to be upset with us. but he chose to get mad at you instead. plus, he rattled off those facts about you like they were common knowledge. face it. he pays attention to you, y/n."
"maybe so. but that doesn't necessarily mean he's into me."
"believe what you want." brock chuckled. "but i can tell when he's into someone."
as brock headed up the stairs & to his room, y/n went out to the back porch to talk to quinn.
"hey. you alright?"
"why brock?"
"pardon me?"
"why did you partner up with brock?"
"because all you assholes broke the 'no significant others' rule and invited your girlfriends to our game night. brock and i are the only single people in the group & game night is mandatory. i was not allowed to sit out." y/n looked at him. "although, since one rule was broken tonight, i probably could've said 'fuck it' & went out for a ride on the lake with brock instead."
"okay. that's fair, i guess." quinn sighed. "but how did he know all that stuff about you? you guys have barely ever talked before."
"i don't know. maybe he just knows things about me."
"it sounds a little creepy to me. i'm thinking you should stay away from him."
"why? he's your friend."
"yeah. but still. better safe than sorry."
"okay, you know what? no. you do not get to break a rule & then try to take over my life like this. if i want to hang with brock, i will. because it's my decision. not yours." y/n sat down in her favorite chair. "ugh. why are you being such an asshole today?"
"i'm just looking out for a friend."
"great excuse." y/n shook her head. "stop trying to run my life, quinn. i don't want you in it."
"you don't want me in your life?" he sounded shocked.
"not if you're gonna run it." y/n looked out towards the boat. "you're not gonna stop, are you?"
"no." he sighed. "i'm sorry but i just can't. not when i'm only looking out for you."
"i appreciate it, quinn. but i'm a big girl who can take care of herself. i don't need you doing it for me."
"i'm sorry."
"if you're really sorry, you'll let me have fun the rest of the time i'm here."
"okay. if you want to have fun, whether it be with brock or by yourself, i will try to stay out of your way."
"thanks, quinn." y/n got up and headed back inside. she had one goal in mind and as she ascended the stairs, quinn's words echoed in her mind. she knew getting involved with a hockey player was risky, but she liked brock. he was a good guy.
she knocked on his door lightly and waited for him to open it.
"hey. how'd it go with quinn?" brock smiled when he opened the door.
"he tried to tell me i should stay away from you. we argued for a minute but he apologized and promised to let me have fun the rest of the time i'm here."
"did you guys talk about him having feelings for you?"
"didn't come up, actually. we talked about you and why he got so upset with the game earlier."
"and what did he say to that?"
"he said he was only trying to look out for me and kind of told me i should stay away from you."
"y/n, he's got a thing for you. why else would he be getting so protective and jealous?"
"brock, i really want that to be true. i like him. i really, really do." y/n stepped into his room. "but he's got a girlfriend. one who's actually in his league. marissa is so pretty & i don't know what to do."
"talk to him like he's your best friend. talk to him as if he were jack. be honest with him."
"it's so hard to be honest with quinn. and believe me, i want to tell him how i feel. i just don't think i can anytime soon."
"you're strong and brave. i'm sure you'll figure it out."
"maybe you're right." y/n sat on the edge of the bed. "i originally came up here to tell you how much fun i had playing games with you tonight." she lied.
"i had a lot of fun too." brock smiled. "for the record, it was cute when you got excited every time we'd win."
"oh." y/n blushed. "thanks. i try."
"you and quinn really need to talk."
"yeah yeah. i know." y/n walked over to the door. "see you in the morning." she walked out slowly and stopped in front of quinn's room. "i'm an idiot. he and marissa are probably in there doing god knows what. i can't talk to him now." she sighed and went to turn away. she was only 3 steps down the hall when she heard his door open.
"y/n? what are you doing out here? and who were you just talking to?" quinn asked.
y/n faced him and walked back to him. "we need to talk."
"what is it about now?"
"before i say anything, where's marissa?"
"probably almost home by now." quinn looked at y/n. "she dumped me just after we went outside and right before you came out to talk to me."
"oh. i'm really sorry, quinn. i know you liked her."
"yeah. i think that was the problem. i liked her, but i wasn't in love with her." he smiled slightly, his gaze never leaving the ground. "kind of hard to find someone else to love these days."
"have you been in love before?"
"um, once. when i was 17." he took the opportunity to look to at her. "i didn't know it at the time though. and just when i finally figured it out, she ended up in a serious relationship."
"oh. that sucks. sorry to hear that. what's she like?"
"she is the most kind and gentle person i have ever met. she puts up with someone as crazy as my brother and she seems to truly love him. don't know if it's platonically or otherwise, but there's definitely love there."
"have you ever told her how you felt?" y/n looked at him. "what if there was a chance she felt the same way?"
"i don't see how she would. i haven't been the nicest to her lately. yet, she's still sticking around."
"does this girl happen to be best friends with jack? and is she at the house right now?"
"yeah. she is." he looked at her. "i'm sorry, y/n. i know that you figured it out. and i really am sorry. perhaps i should've told you back when i was 17."
"so, brock was right? you do have feelings for me?"
"yes. but i'm an idiot and i already know you don't have feelings for me. so, as promise, i'm going to stay out of your way while you have fun this summer. i'm sure brock could help you with that."
"i don't want to have fun with brock. i want to have fun with you, quinn."
"with me? why?"
"because....i love you too, dumbass. how can you not understand that?"
"because, as you so affectionately put it, i'm a dumbass."
"clearly." y/n smiled widely when quinn grabbed her hand. "so, are you gonna kiss me or what?"
without another exchange, quinn pressed his lips to y/n's. no hesitation and all the passion one person could give in one simple kiss.
neither of them heard the door open down the hall. but when they heard brock chuckle, they knew they had to pullaway from each other.
"about time. seriosuly, dude. how could you not know y/n was in love with you too?"
"because he's a dumbass." y/n smiled.
"yeah. but i'm your dumbass now, right?"
"absolutely. and it's going to stay that way, right?"
"oh, you bet it will." he kissed her nose, making her giggle.
"you guys are so perfect for each other, i swear." brock shook his head with a chuckle before retreating back to his room.
"so, you and me, huh? i really like the sound of that." quinn smiled. and intertwined his hand with hers.
"yeah, me too." y/n stood in the hallway admiring quinn like he was going to disappear any second.
they were oblivious to the world going on around them. but they didn't care one bit. they were finally together and that's all that mattered to either of them.
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missadangel · 3 months ago
Text
The Heart of Rome (Marcus Acacius x OC)
All Chapters List
XI. The Accusation (+18, Mature)
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gif --- ayo-edebiri
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“Ad astra per aspera”
To the stars though difficulties…
Villa…
"I need you to help me to kill Caracalla.”
You stared at Julia's face in astonishment, trying to make sense of what you just heard. Her dark brown eyes were serious, but you noticed something in her expression that you couldn't identify – it was somewhere between fear and unease.
"You came to my house to ask me to help you kill your son? Is that correct?”
“He is no longer my son. Macrinus has made him a mere plaything. He pretty much does whatever he wants. He had his relatives killed, without any hesitation. I can't let him kill Geta too. It's only a matter of time. I can't lose Geta.” She sounded upset when she mentioned him. "I lost everything to Macrinus. First he took my son, then my reputation. My own son won't listen to me, he sent me into exile, which is unacceptable." Her tearful voice suddenly turned serious. "I have no one left to go to but you which Acacius had a hand in this, of course.”
‘What are you sa-?’
"He wiped out my men in Legates. They were my last remaining stronghold. I did everything I could to keep them on my side for all those years. Did he tell you how he killed them? I'm sure he didn't, so as not to startle you."
You took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. "My husband doesn't hide anything from me. But even if he did, I'm sure he has his own reasons." You said confidently.
"Sure he has!" she said sarcastically.
She was testing the limits of your patience. "Cease talking nonsense about my husband!" You barked. "Simply say whatever you came to say then take your leave.”
"Fair enough.” She crossed her legs. “Caracalla must die before Macrinus returns to Rome. Before he appoint him as Praetorian prefect (commander of the Imperial Guard)." She took a deep breath. "I'm sure of that he will take action against my sons once he assumes command of the guards. This could potentially lead to him ascending the throne. However, if Caracalla dies, it might weaken Macrinus' position. It would be more feasible to defeat him when Geta is emperor.”
"And you needn't worry about being hidden away in the shadows, as it seems unlikely that Geta will exile you like his brother did? It sounds like you're saving yourself.” She averted her eyes which meant you were right. "But why do you need my help exactly?"
"I believe you care about Geta, don't you? He also cares for you in some way. Perhaps more than you realise.”
“There’s nothing—“
You were about to protest, but she silenced you by raising her hand. “I am his mother, so I know him well and I know you don't wish him dead too. Besides, it would be better for everyone if he rules Rome alone. So Caracalla must die as soon as possible before harms him. You're a medicus, aren't you? You could make a concoction of herbs that will kill him painlessly.”
Her words were sharp, but her gaze was unwavering, declaring that this was the path she had to take. But it was still strange that she said it so easily. It felt wrong.
"I wouldn't have come to you if I didn't have to. It's only a matter of time before he finds out, accuse me of betrayal, and send me back. This is our sole opportunity before Macrinus's return."
‘Our? There is no ‘our’, there is no we. Furthermore, it is not a decision that can be made alone. You present this as an easy solution, but I am a married woman and my husband is a Roman general. What will happen to my husband if your plan fails? Have you ever considered this?”
She rolled her eyes. “Isn't that why you should help me? Once he's dealt with my sons, Macrinus' next target is General Acacius. To get you.” You knew exactly what she meant and she realized that. "I imagine your husband feels very regretful about not taking Macrinus out that night. Because I know he won't let him get away with it.”
You swallowed hard, hating to admit that she was right. Julia smiled, seeming amused by your expression. "Oh, poor Aurelia. It must be tough to be caught between three men. Yet you are fortunate. Even if you were to become a widow one day, there'd be another man waiting for you. Since you're a Roman princess, you're worth a great deal.”
That was the last straw. You felt a rush of anger and stood up abruptly. “Get out of my house now! Leave!” You barked, pointing your finger at the courtyard door. Julia stood up, looking insolent.
“If you truly care about Geta, think about what I said.”
“I said leave!” You shouted, then pointing your finger at her. “I'm warning you, don't you ever speak ill of my husband and don't come to my house again!”
Some of the slaves rushed towards you.
“Domina!”
“Escort Lady Domna outside.” You said sharply.
Julia gave you a stern look and turned away. She raised her hand to stop the slave who was approaching her. Then she left the courtyard. You were still pretty angry and tired, which made your head spin even more. Decima put her arm around you and made you sit on the lectus (couch). She grabbed your feet and gently lifted them, helping you lie down. Norell and Tullia were keeping an eye on you from a distance, looking a bit worried. You looked them with a half smile and told them to get on with their work. You leaned your head back and closed your eyes. Decima took your hand.
"Would you like me to make you some dittany tea (cretan thyme)?" It was an herb that was usually used for relaxation. Decima was from Egypt, so she was familiar with herbal teas. Well, not as familiar as you are, of course.
You looked at her. "Not that, not if I'm..." you said quietly.
"Oh, you're right. Chamomile then?”
"Yes, that's better. Thank you my dear.”
After drinking your chamomile tea, you fell asleep in the courtyard. The slaves were mindful of your need for rest and made every effort to avoid disturbing you. Those who walked towards the courtyard did so as quietly as they could. Then Mau appeared and jumped next to you. However, you were so deeply asleep that you were unaware that she had fallen asleep on your lap. You were suddenly awakened by the sound of a sword being unsheathed and a man shouting. Mau meowed loudly, jumped out of your lap in fright and sought refuge elsewhere.
Seeing Octavius holding his sword to a man's throat who you had never seen before. Opened your eyes in surprise.
“Sir! Have mercy please!” He begged. You noticed some parchment papers and a reed pen in his hand.
You sat up on the couch. “Octavius, what is happening here?”
"My lady, this rat was attempting to draw your likeness without your permission."
You were taken aback. "Can you clarify what you mean by that?”
Decima turned to you. "This man came for the General, but we informed him that he was not present. I then assumed that he had departed. Forgive me, my lady.”
Your eyesbrows rose. “You came to draw my husband?”
The man swallowed. Octavius shook him. “Lady Aurelia asked you a question. Speak, thief!”
You warned him, “Octavius, please put that sword away and allow the man to speak.”
He obeyed. The man stood up ad bowed. “Yes, my lady. Aventine cloth dyers association are paying me to do a mural of General Acacius and the tiger he fought in the arena, my lady.”
“Explain yourself. Why would they do that?” Octavius barked.
“He’s famous, sir, the city, all the Roman citizens likes him. He’s a hero.”
You smiled, and he was indeed a hero to you. You picked up the fallen scrolls and took a moment to examine them. He had painted you so well, even the mau in your lap, which you found quite remarkable.
"But you drew me, his wife," you murmured.
"My lady, allow me to beat this insolent rat to death," Octavius hissed. The man shuddered with fear.
"Please, sir. Leave him alone," you said, a little harshly.
"My lady, forgive me. You were so beautiful when you slept that I was overcome with admiration and wanted to draw your likeness.”
You felt your cheeks flush involuntarily.
“How dare you!” Octavius roared.
“Calm yourself, sir.” You gave Octavius a warning look. You stood up and approached the man. “Please rise.”
The man stood up looking a little ashamed.
“I'll tell my husband you came by. You are well talented, I liked your drawing,” you said, showing him the parchment. “May I keep this?”
He looked at you and gave you a big, warm smile. "It's already yours, my lady. I'm really pleased you think so.
You glanced at Octavius, who seemed to be losing patience. Then you looked at the man. “You may yet leave now.”
The man bowed his head and gave you a shy look, then turned and walked out of the courtyard. Octavius accompanied him outside. You and Decima studied the painting the artist had created. She then enquired as to whether she might bring you something to eat, and with your approval, she departed. It would seem that Mau was hungry when she returned to you, as she rubbed her tail against your leg. She meowed loudly when she saw Norell approaching you a moment later with a tray in her hands.
"Where's Decima? I thought she was supposed to bring the food.
You noticed that Norell's cheeks flushed. "Well, my lady, she had some more work to do in the kitchen."
"Is she all right?"
She nodded, but her freckled cheeks were still red. You grabbed her wrist as her furtive look and tone of voice made you wonder what she was hiding. "Tell me, what's going on?"
"Um, Decima. She took food to Sir Octavius." She averted her eyes from you and smiled in a way that seemed a little evasive. You blinked in surprise and then laughed.
“Oh, well, well,” you said, amused. “When these two have become so close?"
Norell chuckled. "It has been a while now. She often speaks of him."
You giggled. "Where might they be now?"
She turned her head towards the courtyard. “Over there.”
"Perhaps we could go and take a quick look at them," you suggested, with a hint of mischief in your voice.
Norell let out a soft laugh and followed you behind. The slave at the door was about to speak to you but you silenced him by putting your index finger to your lips.
You and Norell peered out of the door, observed Octavius and Decima by the stables, talking, smiling at each other. The slave at the door looked at them from behind you and grinned too.
As you watched them from a distance you recognized a familiar feeling in the way they looked at each other, love.
"My dear Decima," you murmured, sharing her happiness.
Norell sighed deeply. "I hope that one day I will be in love too.”
You heard the other slave sigh and you both looked at him with surprise. He bowed his head shyly.
“Domina? My lady?”
All three of you were startled by Tullia's loud voice. Decima had heard it too, and when she turned her head towards you three. You blushed and hurried inside.
“Tullia! Why are you shouting?” you snapped.
“Oh, forgive me. I thought…”
You and Norell had laughed loudly running towards the other courtyard. Tullia was looking at you, a bit confused. Decima came into the courtyard and made her way towards your voices.
“My lady?” She then looked at Norell in a rather angry way.
“I didn't say anything,” she said, holding up her hands.
"Come now, why are you keeping this from me?" you smiled at her.
Decima blushed.
“You're already sooo obvious.” Norell said smugly.
“What did you say?” Decima frowned and approached her and Norell turned around to run away. They ran into the courtyard and you followed. Decima cupped water from the fountain and threw it at her. Norell also did the same. They began to soak each other, laughing together. Norell ran towards you, intending to hide, but as Decima attempted to throw water at her again, the water hit you in the face, and you flinched when you felt the cold water on your skin.
“Gods!” Tulla cried out. She ran towards you. “My lady, are you alright? Look what you've done! Cease this nonsense now!” She yelled at them.
Mau had also got her share of a soaking, licking herself like mad to dry.  Decima and Norell were looking at you with guilty looks on their faces. But you, far from being angry, approached them with a serious expression and cupped the water from the fountain and threw in their faces. And a fun game began between the three of you. Tullia's grunts mixed with your laughter and echoed throughout the courtyard.
By the time the general arrived, you were still engaged in your game. Octavius was observing you at the door, perhaps not fully aware of his surroundings.  Marcus heard the loud, cheerful laughter and dismounted, heading for the courtyard with curiosity. He looked where Octavius was looking and was struck by the difference between this view and the one he saw every time he returned home. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. He was at a loss as to how to react. He smiled as he recognized your cheerful laughter. Then he looked at Octavius, who looked like he was stunned.
“What are you looking at?” he yelled.
Octavius startled with his loud voice. “Sir!”
“You may leave Octavius,” he grumbled. How dare he watch my wife? he thought. Well actually he was watching someone else but still.
You all froze when you noticed him. Decima and Norell bowed to him and made their way away from the situation as quickly as they could.
“I'll get you some dry clothes, my lady,” Tullia said and ran out of the courtyard.
How great. They all left you alone with Marcus. He regarded you with interest as he approached. The stone floor was quite wet, as were your dress. You bit your lip, uncertain of his reaction. Fortunately, a smile soon appeared on his face, and you breathed a sigh of relief.
"I must apologise for not realising your arrival."
"No need to apologise, my love. There is nothing quite like coming home and hearing your cheerful laugh, which is music to my ears."
You had a sudden sneeze. It wasn't the most romantic answer. Marcus chuckled. “My Lady. You’re all soaked."
Before long, Tullia appeared with a clean dress and the cotton cloth to drying yourself. "If I may, my lady-“
“Give that to me.” Marcus kindly took the cloth from her hand and wrapped it around you. Upon seeing your feet, you instinctively drew them back, as if to hide them. You hadn't realised how wet they were. He smiled and gently took you in his arms, which made your cheeks flush. After all, Tullia was following you behind, carrying your dry clothes in her hands.
Your hand was touching the golden-edged leather strips on his shoulder. Playing with them by running your fingers between each strip. He smiled in response. Once you had entered the room, Marcus set you down. Tullia then placed the dry clothes she had brought for you on the bed, leaving the two of you alone in the room.
"Allow me," you said as you reached for Marcus' armour, but he gently pushed your hands back.
"You first. I do love seeing you like this, but I'm afraid you might catch a chill." His eyes were roaming over your body.
You held his hands and placed them around your waist. “Maybe you could warm me up then?” You smiled naughtily.
He smirked and his hands were already undressing you with haste. Once he had removed your belt and your damp stola, his eyes lingered on the tunic that clung to your body. You were now very aware of the reason for the sudden change in his eyes. That his gentle hands would soon become more impetuous. Even before you reached for the holster on his waist, his lips found yours. His hands were trying to remove your long tunic and you were trying to remove his armour, but it was difficult. When your wet tunic fell to the floor and gathered around your feet, Marcus pushed it aside with his foot, never breaking the kiss. You couldn't tell him to take off his armour because your lips were completely captivated by his. Grabbing you by the hips, he picked you up and put you on the edge of bed. You pulled yourself back with all your might, kneeling on the bed. His armour touching your wet and naked body was a little strange, although seductive. Marcus thought you were playing a game, so he tightened his grip on your lips, not allowing you to break the kiss. But as he tried to come towards you, putting his knee on the bed, the sword at his holster hit the edge. He looked down at himself in surprise and laughed.
“I tried to tell you,” you laughed and helped him out of his armour.
“I must have been under your spell, princess.” He grinned.
Once he'd taken off his armour, Marcus grabbed you around the waist and laid you back on the bed. You couldn't believe how excited you became each time, as if it was the first time he'd ever laid you down and positioned himself on top of you. Moreover, how could it be that each touch of his lips to yours felt so different from the other? It really amazed you that such a simple touch could evoke such strong feelings. Perhaps it was the endless blending of pleasures that this strong bond between you bestowed upon you. What a treat, what a magnificent and wonderful feeling. His lips and tongue were exploring every inch of your body as your bodies fit together perfectly, and you enjoyed one pleasure after another. It felt like there was no end to the adventure of exploring each other's bodies and their needs. Every time you encountered a new sensation and a lot of pleasure. Even Marcus, who was an expert lover, found this to be true. Despite his extensive experience, he had never made love to anyone before you, not even once. It was more than a sexual fulfilment. It satisfies his soul too, as he inhales your scent, touches you, tastes you, he feels complete, he feels alive. To him, you were made for him. The moment you got into his heart, everything lost its meaning; you and all the other insignificant things. You were born into his life like the sun into a dark, war-torn, blood-stained, boring, lonely world. You brought him light and purpose. From now on, he would live to serve you, to make you happy, to protect you from all evil. With you by his side, he was more likely to put his duties for Rome second.
“Marcus,” you moaned. He bent his head and kissed your lips, where you said his name. He didn't want to hear his name from anyone else's lips; only you had to say it, the others not allowed. They couldn't say it like you anyway. It wasn't even a possibility.
“What do you wish me to do, my love?” He whispered in your ear. His lips were caressing your earlobe.
You kissed his cheek and pulled his head towards you with your hands in his hair, it was your turn to whisper in his ear. “You know already.”
He grinned, of course he knew. His big hands gripped your hips tightly, deepening his thrusts and quickening his pace. As you moaned in response, he kissed you. Not to silence you, but to feel your beautiful voice within his very own mouth. Soon together you reached the overwhelming end of your pleasure, moaning into his mouth for the one last time. You remained in that intimate position for a while, breathing heavily. Feeling each other's hearts beating against your chests under your palms. Savoring this glorious moment.
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The bright sunshine streamed through the window, illuminating the room with a warm glow. The soft breeze from the balcony caressed your still damp hair, causing you to shiver slightly and pull the sheet over your shoulders. When you heard the swallows chirping, you decided to open your eyes. Marcus wasn't with you in the bed. You frowned and sat up.
“Morning my beautiful wife.”
You turned your head towards his voice. Marcus was at his desk, looking pretty busy with a quill pen and some papers.
“Morning.” You gave him a smile. “Did I sleep for too long again?”
“Just a little,” he replied turning his head back down to continue writing something on the paper. You got up and put on your tunic. However, you then felt nauseous again.
“Excuse me,” you said covering your mouth with hand. Hurried out of the room. Marcus put his quill pen down on the table and stood up. He walked out of the room and followed you into the latrina, waiting outside the door.
"Aurelia, my love. I'm rather concerned."
As you stepped out of the latrina, he put his arms around you.
“Maybe I should call for another medicus?’
"I don't think that is necessary," you said as you walked back to the room together.Marcus helped you to sit on the edge of the bed. He crouched down in front of you, his hands gently smoothing your dishevelled hair.
"You said that you might get better if you rested. However, I can see you're still not feeling well." His face showed concern.
"I'm actually feeling better today." You mumbled. It wasn't a complete lie. The nausea wasn't as bad as it had been the day before. You felt you had no complaints, knowing what was causing this feeling. Marcus lifted your chin up with his hand. You didn't want to tell him before you were certain, but he was so concerned. He needed to know.
"I sense you're hiding something from me.”
You looked at him, blinking your eyes and inhaling a deep breath. "Marcus, I, um. I wasn't sure if I should tell you until I was certain..."
He looked at you from under his eyebrows. "Continue."
You took his hands in yours and looked into his eyes. "I believe I'm with child.”
Marcus froze. His eyes widened in surprise, his pupils dilated. Then the most marvellous smile appeared on his face. He kissed your lips, and his heart overflowed with bliss. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling towards him. He buried his face between your breasts, then slid it to your belly, planting kisses along the way. You felt his lips on your belly.
"What have I done to deserve you?"
“It might be too early to say for sure. Perhaps we should wait a little longer-“
His lips found yours suddenly. He put his knee on the edge of the bed next to yours and laid you back down. You wrapped your arms around his neck. Without breaking the kiss, he settled right next to you on the bed. He put one hand on your belly.
“My beautiful Aurelia,” he purred. “I love you, with all my heart and all my soul.” His warm breath caressed your face, your heart blossomed.
“I love you, Marcus. I love you much more than words can ever say.” You touched his cheek with your fingers. “I hope that I am carrying your child.”
“Our child.” he corrected you.
You smiled. “Our child,” you repeated.
He kissed you again, your heart beat with bliss, which soon turns into desire. “I shall spend all my days with you." He said huskily as his hands lifted up the hem of your tunic. “I shall spend all my time making love to you, over and over until our bodies become one.” His lips found yours again and soon turned into a hungry, lustful kiss. As he slid into your shaking body, and you moaned with exultation. This was love. This was blessing. Elysium on Earth.
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Over the next few days, you tried a series of tests to find out whether you were carrying a child or not.One of the tests was a common one in Rome and Egypt. All you had to do was urinate in two different bags; one filled with barley and the other with wheat. If the grain in either bag sprouted after being peed on, it meant the woman was definitely with child.As it turned out, they were right. You saw the barley sprouting within a few days, and the wheat took a little longer. Decima said that meant you were carrying a boy. That's how you felt, they said it was a maternal instinct. You never thought of yourself as a mother, at least not this early. But it was indescribable happiness. Marcus was treating you with more tenderness than ever. You were delighted to be the cause of this amazing man having such wonderful feelings. It was a pleasure to see him so cheerful, and the others in the villa were equally pleased to share in his joy.
During this time, Marcus had been closely involved in the training of the soldiers at the Campus Martius (Fields of Mars) just outside the city. Macrinus had been absent for over a week and it was to be expected that he would soon reach Libya. As the general of the army, it was his duty to be prepared for any eventuality and to train his troops accordingly. No matter how busy he was, no matter how late he came home at night, at the end of the day, you found him in bed snuggled between your breasts and legs. You never complained as you wanted him so much as ever thanks to changes of your body that had led to heightened sexual desire.
That morning, when you were helping Marcus put on his armour, you mentioned Julia. It seems she was pretty desperate, even talking to him about Caracalla too.
"Geta is keeping her hidden," Marcus said as he checked the strings on his armbands, "It's likely that Caracalla will eventually find her. She may have a point about Caracalla being prepared to assign Macrinus as Praetorian prefect. However, he will need to return to accept it. I must finish him before he arrives in Rome." He said with determination.
"I suppose he will return soon, then?”
"He must be. I'm waiting for the messenger pigeon to come back. If the legion commander in Libya confirms he's arrived, I'll make the necessary preparations."
You swallowed, feeling concerned by the fact that he was about to fight Macrinus again. Marcus took your face in his hands.
"Please, do not be concerned, my lady. I gave you my word that you won't lose me."
You nodded. "You do what you need to do, my love."
"I will. For you." He put his hand on your belly. "For our child. I will do whatever it takes to make sure he grows up in a safe Rome, and with other Roman children.”
“I am certain you will.” You embraced him and rested your head on his chest, running your fingers through the contours of the medusa.
“Speaking of children,” Marcus said. You lifted your head to look at him.
��Hmm?”
“All the kids at the Poorhouse and the people there.” He murmured.
“I haven't been to visit them in ages. What about them?”
"You don't have to go. Please don't tire yourself out. I want you to stay here and get some rest. Besides, It seems that Geta is already looking after them in your absence."
You raised your eyebrows in surprise. “Really?”
"Yes, that does astonish me too. I find it unusual that he would spend his coins on something like that."
"He said he would, but I must admit I didn't expect him to keep his promise."
"You might be right about him. Maybe he could be a better emperor.’ You sensed the sincerity of his tone. "However, I tend to agree with Julia about Caracalla." He said, his face suddenly serious. "Every moment he breathes is detrimental to Rome.”
"Julia almost begged me to poison him."
He was checking his sword carefully. "No, that's treacherous. Even for him. He is an emperor, after all. It must be done honorably."
You felt tense. Or was he planning to act soon? He never mentioned it though.
He put his sword in its holster. "Enough politics, I think." He smiled. "I must take my leave now, my lady.”
For some reason, you felt a sudden sense of unease. "Will you be on duty at the Field of Mars today too?"
"That's correct," he replied after adjusting his armour for the last time. "Please don't engage in any risky things during my absence." He said in a commanding tone.
“I'll be making herbal tea, too dangerous,” you said mockingly.
He gave a little laugh and kissed your temple before leaving the room. As you followed him outside, you realised that the uneasy feeling inside you was getting worse. Maybe it was an unnecessary consequence of your new situation: worrying too much about everything. Marcus looked back at you one last time before heading out. You gave him a smile and then he left.
You made your way downstairs to the girls. You had little chat while they were engaged in weaving the carpet. There wasn't much else to do for the rest of the day, except lie down and rest. You visited Unio to feed her and brush her pearly-white mane with your fingers. Marcus had forbidden you to ride, not until the birth. He'd also told you not to go to the poorhouse, and you'd had to obey him on that one too. In the last few days you had become a little better with your knife and Marcus had admired you for it for the first time. But your overly anxious husband didn't want you to pick it up for a while either. Why did carrying a child have to be so boring?
In the evening, you were feeding Mau. Then you heard footsteps approaching from the courtyard.
"Domina!" The slave boy came running to you. He had that look on his face again, hesitation.
"What is it now?"
"The Emperor." He mumbled.
"Sister!"
You were quite taken aback to see Geta appear out of nowhere. He approached you and embraced you while you stared at him with your mouth hanging open.
“What are you doing here?”
Geta made a face. "Is this the manner in which you choose to greet me?"
"Well, apologies. I am simply astonished."
Geta looked around. "So this is your little house.”
You walked towards courtyard together. "Please have a seat, your majesty," you said, gesturing to him.
All eyes in the villa were on your emperor half-brother, who was seated comfortably on the armchair wearing a crown on his head and an overly flamboyant toga. You requested that the slaves bring you wine and fruit. Geta examined the wine glass and took a sip. As you observed him sitting where his mother had sat days ago, you came to recognise the differences between him and her. They were nothing alike. You were surprised that you had never realised this until now.
"It's been almost weeks, I've missed you a lot." He said suddenly. "How are you feeling now?" He looked you up and down.
"I feel better now, thank you." Your hands involuntarily went to your belly. You were unsure whether you should tell him or not. He was so unpredictable that it was difficult to guess the outcome of saying something like this to him. Perhaps it would be best to wait until your belly gets bigger before sharing.
"My mother," he suddenly said in a serious tone. You looked at him. "She's been here. I know what she told you.”
“You do?”
"As she gets older, her behaviour is getting worse. Don't take her seriously."
"Do you think so? What she said to me is something that should be taken seriously."
"You're right, it's horrible. Caracalla really has gone mad, but her intention of killing him... It's simply not right.”
"Is there something new about his madness?"
"Apart from the fact that became Macrinus' plaything? Well, he won't take me to any meetings anymore. He's got a new toy.”
“How you mean?”
"Macrinus' new right-hand man. He's like his shadow, taking care of things while he's away. I've never met him before, but my brother has already assigned him to the important tasks. I hadn't even been informed about it. Can you believe it?"
You thought about what Marcus said to you about Macrinus' spy. "Could he perhaps be one of the legates?"
"No, he's just come from the north. I don't think anyone knows him, not even the general, your husband."
"If Macrinus hid him like Gaius, I don't think he meant well."
"That's what I thought. You're clever, sister. I've missed talking to you. But not politically, of course." He grinned.
You smiled back. "You're helping your mother to hide from Caracalla, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am." He snapped, playing with his glass.
"What if he finds out?"
He shrugged. "That prick sent her without asking me, anyway." Suddenly Geta put his glass on the table and leaned towards you. "Aurelia, he's really out of control. I know Caracalla, always was, but this time it's different. He's hallucinating, dreaming, and that worries me. I know he'll hurt someone else, if not himself. Last time he nearly got me killed, all because of a stupid dream he had."
"Did you say hallucinations?”
He nodded. "I'm certain it's her. Mother. She did this to him. I gave her a clear warning, but she refused to listen. I'm asking you because you're the expert. Is it possible for a herb to have such an effect?"
“Many kinds of plants can do that. But how could Lady Domna possibly poison him?"
"Not directly of course. My slave caught her talking to another slave in the street. She is not aware, but I know everything.” He exhaled deeply. “She should never have come back, she'll get herself killed."
It was something that would endanger not only herself, but everyone including his own son Geta. How could she be so irresponsible? She must be mad for sure just like her son.
"If its on his drink or food, if I can examine it maybe I can help.”
Geta smiled smugly. “That's why I came here.”
He gestured to one of his slaves who was holding a small wooden box. Geta reached the box, opened and took out a vial filled with red liquid and handed it to you.
"Here. This is a sample of the wine he drank yesterday. Will that be enough?"
You took it, uncorked it and sniffed. As you were already highly sensitive to smells, this one smelled completely wrong.
"Yes, I think this would be enough. Let me observe this first.”
"You do that. I must return now. I don't want him to realize I left the palace and came here. He's rather mad and unpredictable more than ever." He stood up and put his hands on your shoulders. "If you happen to find out what it is, send me word. I'll send one of the slaves here. It seems that I can no longer trust my own guards. He is about to place them all under the control of Macrinus' rat."
You nodded. "I will see what I can do, brother."
Suddenly he leaned in, wrapping his arms around you. You tried to pull back, but it was futile.
“Geta,” you hissed. “You should not touch me like this. Please-“
“What's wrong with embracing my sister?” he said arrogantly.
You couldn't help but feel that he was right, but it still felt a little awkward. He laughed at the look on your face and leaned his head down to kiss your cheek. "Take care of yourself, sister. Hope I'll see you soon," he said, with a wink, and left the courtyard with his slaves following him behind.
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Campus Martius. (Field of Mars).
General Acacius arrived there after completing his other duties at the barracks. The layout of this place is reminiscent of an army camp, with a number of small buildings.
“Attention! The general is here!” Octavius barked at the soldiers. They immediately stood at attention.
Acacius' eyes were fixed on the recruits. Some of them were pretty clumsy. He jumped down from his horse, squinting at them.
"Chin up! Chest out! Shoulders back! Suck your stomach in!” Octavius commanded, touching their shoulders to ensure they were doing it right. Then he ran to Acacius' side as he approached them. "Sir!" he nodded to him.
"Sir Octavius, these soldiers are struggling to get in line properly! This is how you train them?” he yelled at him.
That's what being a Roman General entailed, after all. Keeping an eye on the rookies and their commanders, supervising his second-in-command, training all the soldiers to keep the army ready for anything, constantly meeting with the Legates to assess the situation. Keeping track of the legions abroad was undoubtedly the hardest task. The army pigeon was the most efficient way to communicate. A trained pigeon could deliver a message in two or three days, whereas a soldier would take months to do the same.
He looked the soldiers in the face as he passed, tapping some on the shoulder to make sure they were properly in line. The soldiers saluted him by putting their hands on their chests. Some of them looked nervous.
“At ease!” Marcus shouted and the soldiers got into a relaxed position to continue their training.
Octavius walked with him towards the building where the Genaral's room was located. Cato was there, waiting for him outside his room. He saluted him.
“Cato, why you are not with the recruits?’’
"Sir, I wanted to let you know that the pigeon has arrived. I have placed it in its cage and I am waiting here to ensure its safety." He said it in a very serious manner.
Octavius chuckled. Marcus grinned.
“Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” Marcus asked him. They were both looking at Cato.
“I believe this prick using the bird as an excuse to avoid training.”
Cato opened his eyes wide. “Never, sir!”
"Who gave you permisson to talk back?" Marcus shouted at him. "Now get out of my sight before I train you myself!"
“Yes, sir!”
Marcus and Octavius laughed after he hurriedly picked up his sword and rushed out. "This boy is really...” He murmured.
"He's been working really hard lately," Octavius said, opened the door and waited for Marcus to enter.
“Do you believe so?” He entered the room and sitting down in his chair and putting his sword on the desk.
"I think he's ready for the platoon training. If you agree.”
Marcus opened the lid of the cage and took the small sealed paper tied to the pigeon's foot. "I still don't think he's ready. He must to learn to overcome his hesitation first." The seal belonged to the Eighth Legion. It was stationed in Leptis Magna, a likely place for Macrinus to visit. Marcus lifted the seal and opened the thin paper.
“My dear friend, the esteemed General Acacius. I Caius Drusus commander of eighth legion, salute you! I have dispatched my men to the harbour of Alexandria as you ordered, however both ships that came from Rome brought only armoury and provisions. Sir Macrinus or his men were not among those who disembarked. Also, we have received word of a few men gathering in the Syrian sector, which may be in line with your suspicions. We await your orders. Rome Victrix!”
Marcus crumpled the paper in his fist and squeezed it. Octavius figured it was bad news.
“Sir? What does it say?”
Marcus slammed his hand down hard on the desk, his whole body filled with anger. “Damn you Macrinus!”
Marcus found himself somewhat perplexed. He was certain that Macrinus was on his way to Ostia and that the ship was waiting for him there. But why hadn't he been seen in the harbour? Octavius picked up the paper he had crumpled up and read it with curiosity.
“How can this be?" He put his hands on the desk and looked at him. Or maybe he never actually left? Did he play a trick on us?"
Marcus was mulling it over. Why would he do that? What was he trying to act? He was such a clever enemy that he never gave away his trail. For Marcus, fighting was simple. It was easy to move your sword according to your enemies movement and cut him down. But playing mind games was tough. It was exhausting to think like your enemy, to anticipate his next move, to always try to be one step ahead of him. Especially when the enemy was someone who had the emperor in the palm of his hand. Could he be seeking retaliation? Or had he never left Rome? Marcus exhaled nervously.
“Octavius, I want you to place two men outside the villa.” He ordered, turning to him. “Is Felix still on Palatine Hill?”
"Yes, sir. He's positioned there as you ordered." He'll let me know if anything arises.
Marcus put his hand to his face, closed his eyes and sighed again. “We're missing something, Octavius.”
“What could it be, sir?”
“I'm not certain yet. But I'll find out. Make sure all the men are gathered in our usual place tomorrow night, in incognito. We shall talk over. Now leave me alone.”
“Yes sir,” he said and left the room.
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Villa…
You had been studying the wine residue that Geta had brought you for most of the day, with the help of Decima and Norell. Despite making a few mistakes and experiencing a few setbacks, you eventually managed to identify the substance as the fruit of the Red Shanglu plant (Phytolacca acinosa). Given its red colour, it was a logical that it would blend well with wine.
“Why doesn't it kill him immediately?” Decima asked. She shook the vial in her hand.
"It's not a particularly poisonous plant. Or maybe the person who made it is inexperienced with it. However, even the smallest amount could cause brain damage. That's more dangerous than death,” you muttered.”
“What kind of fruit is this? Can we find it around here?” Norell asked.
“No, unfortunately not. It's probably a fruit from China or somewhere nearby.”
“Didn't the Empress come here from Syria?” Decima asked.
“Damascus is frequented by Chinese traders, couldn't she have brought it from there?”
“That is true.” When you were in Egypt,your uncle had purchased a number of plants from traders who came from Damascus to Alexandria. This was not an auspicious sign. It would be very difficult to create an antidote without the plant itself.
“So what are you going to do?” Norell asked.
“I need to to speak with Geta. I must inform him of this."
“But the soldiers outside, won't let you.” Decima murmured.
Right. Two of Marcus's men arrived at noon for some reason. You were certain that if you went with them to Geta, there would be tension between those two again. Moreover, it was already dark, and he must be on his way back.
You opened your small leather notebook to review the notes you had taken earlier and consulted the description of this plant. From what you can gather from your notes, it seems that reversing it is not an option. However, there was another fruit that could potentially help to mitigate and cure it. Acorus gramineus (commonly known as Japanese sweet flag). Of course. How you didn’t think of that? You recalled your Uncle Vicius with respect and found that his teachings had proved useful to you in your life. You promptly rose to your feet and took a moment to survey the shelves. This plant is a common genus used in Rome and other regions. You attempted to reach for the jar at the top of the shelves, but it was out of reach. You rose on tiptoe and reached as far as you could. Before Decima had a chance to get up and come over to help, another hand suddenly appeared and grasped the jar.
"I did warn you not to do anything dangerous, didn't I?” Suddenly Marcus appeared next to you.
You looked at him in surprise. When had he arrived? The girls greeted him and left the room. "Jars are now a source of danger to you, General?" You teased, took the jar from his hand and put it on the table.
Marcus smiled and approached you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He planted a tender kiss on your hair and breathed you in, finding your ear. “I missed you.” Then he kissed your cheeks, your nose and your forehead, making you giggle. Then he turned you to him and kissed you on the lips before you could even open your mouth to answer.
“I missed you too, my handsome husband.”
He chuckled and looked at the vials, herbs on the table. "It looks like you had as busy a day as I did.”
You took a deep breath. “I guess I did."
He put a hand under your chin and turned your head towards him. His eyes were already filled with curiosity. "Something has happened. Tell me."
You put your hands on his shoulders. "Geta was here."
He raised his eyebrows. "Your Emperor half-brother Geta?”
“I know no other Geta,” you laughed. But he didn’t.
““What did he want? Why did he come?” He asked in a rather stern tone. Just hearing his name was enough to make him angry. You place your hands on either side of his face. It had an instant calming effect on him, his expression softened immediately.
“You've just arrived, my love, you must be tired. We can talk while we eat."
You picked up a jar of jasmine from one of the shelves.
"I'll put it in our room, it smells nice and has a calming effect."
Marcus put the jar back and grasped your wrist. "There's no need, my love. Your smell is much nicer, and it's the only thing that can calm me down." He led you out of the room.
Once you had entered the courtyard, you requested that Tullia bring the food and walked to your room. Before heading for the stairs, Marcus stopped when he noticed Octavius and Decima talking.
“Why is he still here?”
You chuckled. He looked at you with questioning eyes. You grabbed his muscular arm. It was your turn to tug. “Come now, leave them be.”
“I now understand why he has been distracted lately.” He grunted as he climbed the stairs with you.
“Please don't be angry with him."
“I'm not. But I need to talk to him later.” He said after entering the room.
Your food was brought into the room while you helped Marcus take off his armor. As usual, Marcus sat you on his lap while eating.
"You know, I'm not sure if I'll be able to fit on your lap when my belly gets so big," you said as he fed you a grape.
“Nonsense. There's plenty of room for both of you on my lap," he said, opening his arms. You tilted your head to the side and snuggled into his chest. "As a matter of fact, I can hold three, four, five, or even more," he added, eating his food. You lifted your head to look at his face. "What are you going to do with so many children, General?" you asked, opening your eyes wide.
“I'm going to raise my own army,” he said, laughing.
You laughed too. “Since you are so lascivious husband, it is quite possible.”
“Is it just me? You are too, my sweet wife.”
Your cheeks flushed. “You made me,” you touched his shoulder with yours.
He bent his head and kissed your shoulder. “Pleasure is all mine, my lady.”
“Well, I didn't say I was grateful.” You teased.
As soon as you said that, he looked at you differently. You locked eyes. The atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted. You were well aware of why his eyes had changed. "Then I'll take you in such a way that you'll be eternally grateful." He bent down and kissed you passionately on the lips. His kiss became more intense as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He put his hands in your hair and drank so deeply from your mouth that you almost forgot how to breathe. But you wanted so desperately that you never wanted him to stop. Even more so now, you wanted him more than you ever had, and he seemed to be quite pleased about it.  Marcus helped you lie back against his arm. He pulled the hem of your tunic up your legs and pulled you back onto his lap. As he slid the straps of the tunic down your shoulders, you could feel him getting impatient under your hips. When his lips slid to your neck, you threw your head back to gasp for air. But then you gasped again as he started to play with your already very sensitive breasts. Just the touch of his warm tongue made you feel like it was going to send you over the edge.
“Hmm your breasts are so responsive than ever my love."
You were sure your cheeks were redder than wine. “It's simply expecting for this phase,” you said breathlessly. Your impatient fingers ran through his hair. You were eager for him to take you now.
“It only adds to your beauty. You are so beautiful to be real,” he said huskily. You kissed his neck in response. He grabbed you by the hips, lifted you up and laid you on the bed. Soon he was on top of you. You wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him to you. Or rather, you tried. He chuckled. “You are very impatient for someone who is not grateful, princess?”
You sighed. “I apologise, I shouldn't have said that. I'm so grateful, please, Marcus.” You squirmed desperately. It was one of your lustful husband's favorite moments. “Please what, my love?” He put his knee between your legs as slowly as he could.
"I want you," you purred.
His lips were on your earlobe, and the feel of his hot breath on your neck made you shudder.
"You want me where?" He teased. His fingers caressed your nipples, his glorious length brushing against your entrance which driving you mad.
"I want you inside me, please," you whimpered.
He smiled wide, like he won a victory. “I shall fulfill my princess’ desire.” And there he was, right where you wanted him most. You felt like you were going to explode with happiness and break into little pieces. You felt proud of yourself for making progress and getting to this point. Now you both knew each other's bodies and desires well. It was a progress you didn't expect from yourself, and it wasn't difficult at all. Everything was easier with him. Desiring him, kissing him, feeling his skin under your fingers – it was like a need for life. You needed him. You needed him inside you, on your skin, in the air you breathed, everywhere. With him, everything was beautiful and complete. Without him, everything was missing and lost. With him, you felt alive.
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"I'm afraid I may be a little late tonight,” Marcus said as you tied the strings on his armbands. ”You'll keep your promise, won't you?”
Oh yes, your promise to him. After a lengthy discussion, he agreed to your proposal of preparing the herbal mixture for Caracalla, but he would prefer you to remain at the villa for the time being.
“I've positioned one of my men near Palatine Hill. One of the soldiers waiting outside will deliver it to him. So there's no need for you to go there," he said in a commanding tone.
You nodded. “I shall do whatever my husband says.”
A broad smile spread across his face. He wrapped his arms around you. “Say it again.”
You giggled. “I'll do whatever my husband says.”
“My ears have been blessed.” He pulled you to him and kissed you on the lips. He then sighed breaking the kiss. “I'm afraid I must take my leave now.”
“I know you'll come back to me eventually, so it will be easier to await for your arrival.”
He took your face in his hands. "You will wait my return, then, my lady?"
Of course you will, why did he ask such a question?
“I have waited a long time for you, Aurelia,” he said in his velvet voice. His expression was severe, the brown of his eyes warm, intense. “How could I not come back to you?” He kissed you on the temple. He grabbed a few strands of your hair, burried his nose in them inhaling your scent. You rose on tiptoes and kissed him with all the warmth of a woman in love. And he returned your kiss with all the joy and happiness of a man in love. If only Cato hadn't knocked on the door at that moment, you might have stayed there till night.
Once Marcus had left, you went downstairs to your little clinic-like room to make the herbal mixture. With the help of the girls, you managed to do it in less time than you expected. You did as Marcus told you and handed a vial of the mixture to one of the soldiers who were positioned outside the villa. He mounted his horse and headed to Palatine Hill.
As you sat with the girls until the evening, you found yourself feeling that strange sense of unease you had yesterday. It was just like that dream you had a few weeks ago. No matter how hard you tried to ignore it, you couldn't. And it didn't seem to go away until Marcus came back.
It was just after midnight and you were lying in bed playing with your wedding ring. Mau was sleeping peacefully next to you. But unlike her, you were far away from feeling peaceful. You couldn't sleep without seeing him return to you. Soon, however, you heard some horses neighing and murmuring, and your body filled with excitement. You quickly got out of bed. You wrapped your shawl around yourself and left the room, heading for the stairs. But you were halfway up the stairs when you saw the face of a man you didn't know. If you hadn't been holding on to the railing, you would have stumbled. One of the slaves stepped in front of the man, but he pushed him hard. From his clothes, it was clear he was one of the imperial guards. They usually kept their galea on, but not this man. At his command, five or six more soldiers entered the courtyard and all of them stood at attention. They were all dressed like imperial guards. You were wide-eyed, trying to understand what is happening, Decima ran up to you and held your hands nervously. Everyone in the villa woke up to the sounds and rushed to your side.
“You must be Princess Aurelia,” the man said, nodding then smiling weirdly at you. His eyes lingered too long on your body. You felt uncomfortable with the way he looked at you. You pulled your shawl tighter around your body. "Who do you think you are? I will not tolerate you entering my house at this time of night like a raider. I want to know who you are! Speak!"
The man laughed arrogantly. "My name is Flavius, my lady. You do not know me, but your husband does." He took a few steps towards you. "However, even if it's a very tempting idea, I am not here because of Acacius. As for your question, I am here by the command of your brother, the Emperor Caracalla. I shall take you to him."
You were both confused and afraid. "At this time of night? What is so urgent?"
"Oh, true. I forgot to mention the charges against you, forgive me." He smirked, gesturing to one of his men.
The man unfolded the scroll paper to read it aloud. "Princess Aurelia, you are under arrest by the command of the emperor. Your charges are; attempting poisoning of the Emperor himself, conspiracy behind his back, and aiding and abetting the exiled empress."
You swallowed, your heart pounding fast. It seemed likely that the ointment you had sent to Geta must have fallen into Caracalla's hands somehow. "I don't accept these charges! There must be a misunderstanding." you said.
"It doesn't really matter, my lady, I have been instructed to take you to Palatine Hill. And I will." The man came close enough to reach for your arm, but you stepped back.
"Lady Aurelia is the wife of General Acacius and also a princess. When the general returns home, they will go together to the emperor. Perhaps it would be inadvisable to take her by force, sir Flavius?” Tullia said firmly.
They knew each other? You wondered who he was.
”I remember you now. You stood up to me like this back then too. You may have aged but you're still stupid. Get out of my way at once!” Flavius barked.
Wiht Tullia's lead, the slaves and girls moving in front of you as if shielding you. The man sighed and drew his sword.
“No!” you cried.
“The Emperor's orders are final! Get out of my way or I will slay you all with my sword!”
“Do as he says!” You warned them, your voice trembling with fear. They regarded you with an uncertain expression.You held Tullia's hands. "Please, I don't want you to get hurt. I will be fine, I promise."
Then they bowed their heads and, with visible reluctance, withdrewing involuntarily.
You looked at him. “I should dress properly, first,” you said and headed for the room.
“I'm waiting, princess!” He said arrogantly.
How dare he talks to a princess like that? As soon as you walked in the room, immediately grabbed your scabbard and tied it around your ankle. You had to be prepared for anything. You put your hands on your belly, hoping everything would be fine. You put on your stola, look around the room one last time, opened the door and went out. Walked down the stairs, looking at the slaves who looked at you with concern. They were your friends, your family. You smiled at them reassuringly. The man named Flavius held out his hand to you. "My lady.”
You stepped towards outside, choosing to ignore him. Suddenly, you noticed Marcus' soldiers, who were brought to their knees with swords held at their throats by guards. "Put your swords away!" you barked them. But they looked at their commander. Flavius nodded. The men drew back their swords and sheathed them.
"General Acacius has entrusted us with the Lady Aurelia," one of the soldiers said. "We must accompany her.”
Flavius turned to him. "So that's what your General told you, eh? What if I don't let you then?"
The soldier looked at him sharply and drew his sword halfway, the sharp sound of the blade making you tense. "Then we'll have to stop you."
"No, please," you interrupted. You stopped the soldiers by raising your hands.
"My lady, please step aside. The general's orders are certain, and if we die for him, it would be an honour to do so."
Flavius laughed cruelly. “We must give him what he wants then!” He ordered to his soldiers and they all drew their swords once more. You were worried because they were outnumbered. Despite all of your objections, they began to fight. Flavius took hold of your arm and led you towards the carriage.
“Get your hands off me!” You struggled, but he was so strong. "Don't you hear me? I am your princess! You can't touch me!" You shouted at the top of your lungs but it was in vain. He made sure you were seated in the carriage and turned round. After his men killed Marcus' soldiers they mounted their horses at his command. Soon the carriage moved to take you to Palatine Hill. You couldn't stop your tears and sobs as you looked at the soldiers lying lifeless on the ground.
Marcus, where are you? you murmured as you gazed out the window, surveying the dark and gloomy streets.
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A place just outside the city…
Marcus and Octavius are waiting in one of the dark streets, which is meant to be a secret meeting place. They're both wearing black cloaks. He had stationed a few of his men at key points in the city to be ready for any move Macrinus might make, and every now and then they hold a small, secret meeting in this gathering place. Secrecy was very important. It had to be late at night because it was an important matter that was only between them. But tonight there was something odd. None of his men showed up. They should have been here by now. Octavius looked down the road but didn't see anyone. They decided to wait a bit more, soon they heard footsteps coming closer. It was one of Marcus's men.
“General! Sir!” The man was out of breath. “Guards. Macrinus.”
Marcus touched his shoulder. “Easy. Breathe.” He told him. “Speak clearly. Why are you on your own?"
"Speak, Aris, what has happened?" Octavius growled.
"The imperial guards arrested all of our men and took them to Palatine Hill."
"On what grounds? What did they say?"
"Have you seen Macrinus there?" Marcus asked.
He shook his head. Suddenly there was the sound of  number of horses approaching towards them and they all tensed up.
"You were followed, you fool!" Octavius hissed.
Guards quickly surrounded and circled around them. One of them looked at Marcus. It was Flavius. “Acacius, It's been too long. Strange night, isn't it?” He jumped down from his horse. Marcus looked at him, astonished.
“Flavius?” He looked him up and down. He recognised his rank by his attire. “So you've been appointed commander of the guards? I thought you were up north.”
So he was the Macrinus' shadow man. He knew exactly what he was doing, Marcus thought.
“I returned a while ago,” he took a step closer to him. “Since I have unfinished business here. With you.” His voice sharpened.
Marcus remained still.
“You killed my brother, remember? You took him from me. And for what? For screwing your wife when you're in the south?”
Marcus clenched his fists. His body was filled with rage. He was dangerously on the edge.
"I've been looking forward to this moment for quite some time, Acacius. I have been waiting for the right moment to take what you have from you when you feel happy.”
Marcus grasped hilt of his sword. Octavius and Aris were ready, waiting for his command.
"So Macrinus made you his commander? Is this how you plan to get revenge on me?"
"He's a very clever man, I'll give him that. And he's determined to finish you, though not as determined as I am." He grinned.
"Right, so how do we do it? One on one? You and I?" Marcus drew his sword to half-length.
Flavius laughed. "You've already lost, Acacius, why should I bother?" He gestured for his man to read the emperor's order. The man unfolded the roll of paper. "General Marcus Acacius! You are under arrest by order of Emperor Caracalla! Your charges are; placing men in front of the emperor's house to spy on him, to command the armies for your own benefit, attempting to murder a member of the senate, abusing the title of general, going behind the emperor's back.”
"Right," said Flavius, coming over to him. He held his gaze. “The Emperor wants to see you. He'll be the one to decide your fate.” He approached him. “Just as he will decide your wife's fate.” He grinned with his teeth.
Marcus grabbed his throat with both hands. “What did you just say?”
The guards half-drew their swords and took up attack positions. Octavius and Aris gripped the hilt of their swords in response.
"Speak, or I'll rip your neck off!" he roared, his fingers gripping his throat tighter. Flavius seemed amused.
"Your wife, Aurelia, is a beautiful woman. I took her from the villa to Palatine Hill. I told you it was a strange night.”
Marcus punched him in the face and kicked him in the stomach, mad him fell to the ground. He then quickly drew his sword. In a flash he leapt on him and held his sharp sword to his neck. “If you say her name again, I'll cut your tongue off!” He barked. “Why did you take her there? Speak, damn you!” He was boiling with anger.
Flavius, however seemed calm. “Don’t be a fool, Acacius, if you kill me now, you'll get nothing. I'm only doing my duty.”
Unfortunately it was true, he could kill him and all the guards one by one, but that would only result in a higher charge being brought against him. Furthermore, Marcus's primary concern was you. He had to make sure you were alright, which meant he had to go to Palatine Hill with them.
Flavius ignored sharp sword pressing against his throat, laughing cruelly at him. “Revenge is a son of a whore, isn't it?”
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f1goat · 8 months ago
Text
roommates ; lando norris + part six
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In which you have to live with your brothers best friend who you really don't like, Lando Norris, and his many 'girlfriends' for a while, but there's always a thin line between love and hate.
masterlist - playlist
lando norris x fem!verstappen reader tw: smut & not proofread
You don’t know whether to laugh or to cry when you hear the girl talking to Lando. He’s barely responding to her, but still. It’s so clear to you. Lando doesn’t care about you. That silly crush of yours? You need to get rid of it. How faster, how better. When they walk inside the living room, it doesn’t take longer then a second for Lando to see you sitting on the couch. 
While Lando is busy staring at you and thinking about what to say, you can’t stop looking at the girl he bought home with him. Is it bad that she kinda reminds you of yourself? She’s wearing the same sort of dress you were wearing on your ‘date’ with your ex. Her hair is the same color and about as long as yours. It must be a coincidence. 
Lando feels so ashamed right now. The night he goes for the most pathetic way, is the night you see it happen. Fucking hell. He hasn’t drunk enough to handle with this. When he saw Emily earlier at the club, at least if he got her name right, he could only see the dress she’s wearing. Exactly like yours from earlier. Then he saw how she had some other things that reminded him of you. It felt like the only solution for tonight. 
“Uh,” Emily clearly feels the tension between Lando and you. “She’s not your girlfriend right?” She asks awkwardly. 
“No,” you quickly reply. 
Lando doesn’t even know what to say. He can only feel ashamed right now. Fuck. You keep looking at Emily and him. He knows that you see it as well, it’s not hard to miss that Emily looks like you. This is embarrassing. It feels even more embarrassing that she’s a cheap knockoff compared to you. He lets out an annoyed sigh. Fuck, he really fucked things up with this. 
Now that he thinks about it, he wonders why he even brought the girl home with him. How longer he looks at her, how less she reminds him of you. Tonight was about proving that you’re wrong, not about proving the other way around. Why did he even bring her with him? It’s desperate, really.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” you softly say while standing up from the couch. Is it that bad that you’re disappointed in this? You feel like some sort of fool. Why did you even wait up? Why did you want to know about this? You feel yourself getting more sad with the second. Slowly you walk away. When you walk past Lando, he’s quick to grab your shoulder. It makes you even more sad. 
“Don’t leave like this,” he softly says, “Let’s talk.”
You feel the anger running through your veins right now. You aren’t thinking about what you’re saying right now. “I don’t think your girlfriend is here to talk,” you sneer to him, “and neither am I. Not anymore at least.”
“Let me explain,” Lando pleas with a soft voice.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you state, “We’re nothing. It’s not like we’re friends or anything. You lied to me before, I don’t trust you anymore. We’re even less then nothing now.”
“Don’t act like this,” Lando replies. You see the pain in his eyes, but for now you don’t care about that. He did this to himself. He’s the one who bought her home, not you. If it’s up to you he feels all kind of pain right now, he deserves it. 
“Don’t act like what?” You ask annoyed, “Can’t I tell you that we’re not friends, or anything else? Or can’t I tell you that I don’t care about you? You do you Lando. I really don’t give a fuck. So go have sex with your new girlfriend over here.”
“Shut up,” Lando groans. 
“Or what?” You reply angrily. 
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” Lando continues. 
“I mean every word of what I just said,” you lie. Of course you don’t mean anything about it. You thought that Lando and you were finally becoming friendly with each other, you even hoped for more. Fuck this is really bad. It even pains you to say those words to him, but you don’t feel like you have another choice. 
“Stop lying,” Lando says with a louder voice this time. He almost seems angry this time. The frustration is obvious. 
“I don’t care Lando. Do whatever you want, go fuck with her or another girl. I really don’t care about it,” you tell him with the same frustration, “just make sure that you’re not moaning out my name again.” 
“Shut up,” Lando groans. The angry undertone in his voice is getting more clear now. You match it.
“Make me,” you reply angrily. 
You’re painfully aware about how close Lando and you are standing towards each other. He isn’t holding your shoulder anymore, but you feel every breath of him on your face. At this moment you want nothing more then for Lando to snap. It feels like you’re pretty close to make that happen. You wonder what will happen next. Will he scream at you? Or would he shut you up another way? Some way you prefer?
Lando takes a step closer towards you. His nose is almost pressed against yours. The space between to two of you gets only smaller. You wonder if you need to say something else, but then Lando continues to talk. 
“You want me to shut you up?” He asks you. His voice isn’t angry anymore, it doesn’t even seems frustrated anymore. It’s almost scarily calm for what’s happening. You notice how Lando doesn’t look away from you. The girl he bought home with him is still here, but it seems like Lando has forgotten about her. Not that you mind. Why hasn’t she left yet anyway?
“Yes,” you state boldly. 
Lando doesn’t think about the possible outcomes of his next movement. He stops thinking about everything he wants to do right now and for once just does something. Still annoyed and frustrated with the whole evening - and mostly with himself, he finally snaps. He grabs your waist, and pulls you almost into himself. Before you can react he lifts up your chin with a soft, but forceful movement. He gives you one last look in the eyes before closing his own eyes and slamming his lips against yours. 
You didn’t expect him to do this. Fuck, you really didn’t. But it’s insane how good it feels. Lando his lips are soft, even softer then you thought they would be. His kiss reflects the way he’s feeling, it’s messy but it does fit the moment. You can probably kiss him like this for the rest of the night.  And many nights more. If he would let you. Maybe it isn’t Lando who doesn’t support that idea, it’s the girl from earlier who distracts you from each other. 
“What the fuck!” She loudly screams. “Why did you even bring me here?” She continues to ask, “This is fucking insane.” 
“Just leave,” Lando sighs annoyed. He doesn’t move away from you in the mean time. You’re still trapped in his arms. Without saying a word, but with a small grin plastered on your face, you watch everything amused. It seems like she doesn’t want to leave like this. The girl is still fuming and making all kind of remarks at Lando. While he only tries to get her to leave. 
Eventually Lando needs to let go of you to walk her outside. You still hear her screaming in the hallway. It makes you giggle. Of course, it’s bad that Lando treated her like this - but for once, you’re glad about it. It would be way worse if he fucked her. You hear the front door close, after that there’s a peaceful silence. No more screams from the girl. No more arguments between Lando and you. 
When Lando returns to you, he’s busy thinking about what to do next. Should he continue with what he was doing? Or should he apologize? He has no idea what you think about all of this. What if he kissed you without you agreeing with it? When he sees you leaning on the wall and waiting for him with a small, but really satisfied grin plastered on your face, Lando is quick to forget about all his worries. He rushes himself back to you, only to press his lips on yours for the second time that night. 
“You drive me fucking crazy,” he grunts after pulling back.
“Says you,” you reply softly.
Lando doesn’t reply verbally this time. He softly pins you against the wall and presses his lips against yours for the third time tonight. Now that he knows how it feels to kiss with you, he never wants to stop with it. He can’t miss this feeling. 
You can safely state that you have never been kissed better then this. It’s not like you want to give yourself hope, but Lando kisses you like there’s no-one else he ever wants to kiss again. You can only hope that it actually is that way. Mainly because you’re sure that you never want to kiss anyone else again if it isn’t Lando. 
“Fuck Lan,” you softly whimper when he pulls back again. 
He looks at you. The way he stares at you makes you shiver. His eyes pierce through yours. “What babygirl?” Lando asks you. He’s afraid that you have come to your senses, that he should stop this. You probably don’t want this, he guesses. 
“Don’t stop,” you softly tell him with red cheeks. 
“Sorry, I’ll stop,” Lando mutters a bit disappointed. You show him a confused look, didn’t he hear you? You don’t even know why he’s thinking about stopping. The only good thing about him mishearing you, is that he seems disappointed to stop. That’s interesting. 
“I said don’t stop,” you tell him a bit louder this time. 
This time it’s Lando who shows you a confused look. He has no idea what’s happening to him. Before he can even ask if you’re sure, you already surprise him again. This time it’s you who pulls him closer towards yourself. Lando doesn’t even know what’s happening anymore. It seems like you do want this as well? He thought you lost yourself in the moment, but now he’s not so sure about that anymore. 
He can’t help himself anymore now. His tongue is inside your mouth and battling yours for dominance. Lando can’t hold himself back. If this is the only night he’ll experience this, he needs to experience as much of you as he can. When you let out a soft moan during making out with Lando, it only arouses him more. He feels his pants tighten around a particular spot. Softly he pins you against the wall again. He removes his lips from yours, only to connect them with your neck. 
It makes you let out a soft moan. How is Lando making you feel like this in only a matter of time? You must be losing your mind. Your focus is quick to disappear when Lando his hands start to explore your body as well. His hands are everywhere, at least that’s how it feels like. 
“Let me make it up to you,” he eventually tells you. 
“Make it up to me?” You ask confused. What’s he talking about. 
“For bringing her home,” Lando confesses, “I really shouldn’t have done that.”
Slowly you nod. “That’s a lot to make up for,” you softly say. 
Lando nods as well. “Thank god we have a lot of time,” he jokes. You show him a small grin. That’s enough confirmation for him right now. Within seconds he picks you up. You’re surprised about his strength. He’s actually walking you to his room like this. When you reach his bedroom, Lando softly drops you onto his bed. He joins you on the bed, hovering above you while pressing kisses on your cheeks, forehead, nose and every other spot he can find to press his lips against. 
It takes you a lot to withhold yourself from letting out loud moans whenever Lando does something. When Lando kisses you against your neck and softly sucks on a small bit of your skin, you can’t hold them back anymore. You let out a loud moan. 
“Lan,” you softly whimper.
“You better keep calling me that,” Lando softly tells you. You show him a small smile. He let himself down on the bed next to you. You’re quick to move yourself closer towards Lando. Within a couple seconds you have yourself pressed up against him again. Lando looks at you full lust. “Needy babygirl?” Lando asks you. 
You can only nod. You feel your cheeks redden up. It almost feels embarrassing, but you really can’t stop feeling like this right now. The things Lando is doing to you, while almost doing nothing to you, are actually insane. Lando moves himself again. This time he positions himself sitting right next to you. Softly he pulls you up as well. He toys with the hem of your sweater, looking at you with questioning eyes while doing so. You show him a small nod, hoping that he understands the hint. He does. Slowly Lando pulls off your sweater. 
When he sees that you’re wearing nothing underneath your sweater, he softly gasps. “Fuck babygirl,” he mutters while looking at your boobs. He notices the way your nipples have hardened, he wants nothing more then to put them into his mouth. For now he withholds himself from actually doing so. He does however move his attention towards your leggings. Suddenly he can’t think about anything else then seeing you naked. 
It’s you who is quick to discard the leggings you were wearing. Lando can’t believe his eyes when you start to pull of the leggings. When the leggings have joined your sweater on the floor, Lando can’t stop staring at you anymore. Softly he lets his hands wander over your body, stopping by your string. After this there’s no way back. Not that he can trust himself to stop now, but after seeing you completely naked he’s sure that he can’t stop anymore. 
You let out a soft moan when Lando traces your string with his fingers. “Take it off please,” you beg Lando. 
“Sure babygirl?” Lando asks you, “Because I don’t think I can stop myself anymore after seeing you naked.” He needs to know for sure that you want this as well. 
“Please,” you continue to beg, “Just take if off already.”
Lando doesn’t need to know anything else for now. He is quick to pull down your string. When he tosses it on the floor as well, he can’t tear his eyes of you. You’re beautiful. Words are leaving his mouth rather quickly, he can’t even think about what he’s saying anymore. 
“You look so beautiful,” he murmurs. You show him a small smile. “Imagined this for years,” he grunts, “You look even better then in my dreams.” Is Lando confessing that he dreamt about you? What’s going on? “Can I touch you?” Lando suddenly asks you, you’re quick to stammer out a yes. 
Lando is quick to come into action after hearing your yes. Suddenly he’s everywhere at once. You feel him exploring your naked body. His lips are pressing kisses on your neck, but he’s fast to move down lower. Eventually he reaches your boobs. He sends you one more asking look to know you’re sure about this, which you are quick to confirm to. After that Lando closes his lips around one of your nipples, while softly kneading your other tit. It causes you to let out a loud moan, something that Lando seems to like. 
Everything is getting to much for you rather quickly. It’s been a while since the last time you’ve had sex and with a thin walled room next to Lando, masturbating wasn’t one of your options lately. The way Lando discovers your body is making you lose your mind. You need to feel him as well. You start to toy with the hem of his shirt, trying to make clear to him that he should take it off. Lando doesn’t budge. 
When Lando moves down on your body again and presses kisses against your lower stomach, you’re sure that you’ll be losing your mind. When one of his kisses is almost pressed against your cunt, you almost let out a scream. Fuck it’s actually insane how much you need him to do something to you. Who would have thought that Lando is the one who can make you feel like this? Now that you think of it, you’re not that surprised. 
“Ohh Lan,” you softly moan out when Lando gets even closer towards your more private parts. Lando lets out a low groan. “I need to taste you,” Lando grunts. 
“Please do,” you moan. 
That’s all Lando needed to hear. He dresses himself down in no time. His shirt and pants join your clothes on the bedroom floor. Then he spread your legs for himself. “Such a pretty cunt,” Lando softly mutters while looking at you. He really can’t believe that this is happening. 
“Do something,” you softly beg. 
Lando doesn’t wait any longer anymore. He presses kisses against your cunt in a taunting slow pace. It makes you crazy. “More,” you whimper. Lando listens to you. Like some sort of madman he starts to lick your pussy. His tongue is everywhere at once. You don’t even try to hold back your moans anymore. They are leaving your mouth again and again. It seems that Lando likes it as well. 
“You’re making such pretty sounds for me,” Lando tells you adoringly. It gives you a warm feeling on the inside. You’re probably red already, but otherwise you’d be sure that this would be the reason. “Such a good girl,” Lando continues to praise you. 
Lando slowly lets one of his fingers slide inside of you. Moving it in a rather fast pace while connecting his lips to your clit. Softly he sucks it inside of his mouth. When he releases, you let out a loud moan again. You feel your orgasm getting closer. 
“Fuck me,” you try to order Lando. 
Lando stops his movements. “Fuck you?” He asks you confused.
“I need to feel you inside me,” you confess. 
“What about asking nicely?” Lando asks you teasingly. He always thought you’d be a bit of a brat and it turns out that he’s right. However, what he didn’t expect was how easily it would be to turn you into a begging mess.
“Please Lan,” you beg him without even thinking about it. “Please let me feel you fill me up,” you continue, “Please fuck me.” Begs are leaving your lips like prayers. Lando has never felt so aroused in his life before. He always thought it would be different with you, more intense for sure, but he didn’t expect it to be this much better with you. He’s still wearing his boxers, but he has never felt this close to an orgasm before. You’re making him lose his mind. 
Lando already knows that when he has felt you around his cock for the first time, there’s no one else who would ever feel better around it anymore. He knows for a fact that when he fucks you, he ruins sex for himself for the rest of his life. But still, that doesn’t stop him from pulling down his boxershorts and letting his cock spring to freedom. 
You’re greedily grabbing his boner, needing to feel it in your hands before he puts it inside you. Slowly you stroke his dick, Lando lets out a loud moan. It feels good to pull a sound like this out of him. You want to hear every sound you can get out of him. 
“Princess,” Lando grunts, “You have to stop doing that, otherwise I’ll cum before even fucking you.” 
“Then what are you waiting for?” You ask Lando. Fuck, you feel like a brat but you can’t stop yourself. You never felt like this before. No one ever made you feel like this. Lando can only grin when he hears your remark. 
“Always thought you would be a brat,” he tells you with a dangerously low voice. It makes you even more turned on. “Sorry,” you whimper.
“Never apologize for that babygirl,” Lando is quick to reassure you, “I always liked the thought.” Before you can react again, Lando continues to talk. “And I always liked the thought of you being my brat even more,” he confesses. You don’t know what to say. At this moment you don’t have to say anything, Lando comes closer towards you and starts to line up his cock with your entrance. 
“You still want this?” Lando asks you.
“Please,” you beg.
That’s all Lando needed to hear. He pushes himself inside of you. Within seconds he’s setting a ungodly pace. You can’t even think straight anymore right now. The only thing that’s in your mind is how good Lando is fucking you. Sex never felt like this before. You wonder if anyone else will ever make it feels like this. You don’t think so. Lando is probably ruining you. And you would let him do it again every time he wants to. 
“Fuck,” you whimper when you feel your orgasm reaching again. Lando makes all kind of sounds in the mean time. You love every single one of them. Every small or big grunt, moan and groan makes you even more aroused. 
“You feel fucking perfect,” Lando groans. He increases his pace even more. “I’m so fucking close,” he adds almost ashamed. 
“Me too,” you confess.
Lando didn’t lie about how close he already was. He feels himself almost crashing down because of his upcoming orgasm. He tries to fuck you as hard as he can manage, pushing and pulling in and out of you with a rapid pace. “Fuck,” you almost scream when Lando keeps increasing his pace. “I’m coming,” you tell Lando pretty quickly after that.
You feel the orgasm washing over you. It’s never been as intense as now. Lando tries to pull himself back, remembering for the first time that he didn’t use any kind of protection. Your legs are firmly wrapped on his body, you’re not letting him go. 
“Pill,” you softly explain. Lando nods and pushes himself deeper back into you. He feels his load coming out of him and entering you. 
“Fucking hell babygirl,” Lando grunts a couple minutes later when he feels more relaxed again. His orgasm has left his body. He feels calm again. “That was,” Lando starts a sentence he doesn’t know how to finish. It was so many things, mind-blowing, the best sex of his life and he can go on like this. 
“A mistake,” you finish his sentence. You already feel sad about the words you just said, but you know that it’s for the better to call it a mistake. “This can’t happen again,” you sigh. 
Lando doesn’t know what to think right now. “A mistake?” He asks you confused, “Was it that bad?”
“No,” you’re quick to deny, “I think, no I know that this was the best sex I’ve ever had. But we can’t do this again Lando, I’m not the one for one night stands.”
“I never called this an one night stand,” Lando is quick to tell you. “Let’s talk tomorrow about this babygirl. I want to sleep and I want you next to me.” 
It’s probably the most stupid thing you can do, but you agree to Lando his wishes. You let yourself fall asleep next to Lando. He cuddles up against you and does the exact same thing, but not before wondering how he’s going to make sure that this will happen again. 
part seven
a/n; finaaaaally some tension :) there's more to come! hope everyone likes it <3
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wntrswolf · 7 months ago
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love mirage
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✧ pair: benjicot "davos" blackwood (fancast) x freader!secret-lover-betrothed-to-a-bracken
✧ theme/warning(s): slight/implied smut, angst, forbidden romance, star-crossed lovers. — (all characters mentioned are of age!) 18+
✧ word count: 1.8k
✧ author's note: hello! this is my first writing! this one-shot was spontaneously written as it was meant more for self-indulgence but i thought why not share it to others who also has a current obsession with the rising blackwood character, right? :-) anyways, reading fics under the benji tags manifested many scenarios in my head, and gave me inspiration to write something. lastly, forgive me for any possible grammatical errors, i still am an amateur in fictional writing. enjoy!!!
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It was the dead of night. The sky had been painted in its darkest hue, the moon stood nearly at its peak, offering its gentle glow along the riverbank. The distant chatter that could be heard during a long day's labor was no longer present, replaced by the solemn silence of nature's symphonies—the flowing river, the rustling of leaves as they danced in breaths of wind, and the lullabies of insects as they clicked and buzzed.
The forest was no stranger to you; befriending the woodland for the passing moons. You often wondered if anyone would, or had, grown an inkling of your periodic disappearance following the hours of supper—what others would think of your father’s only daughter growing a rather sudden interest beyond the walls of your family's stronghold. You always made your way out stealthily, though his words echoed in your mind,
“You are our only hope, daughter. Do not fail us.” A stark reminder of your duty, which would soon bring honor to your family's name.
If it means anything, you knew it was wrong from the start. You had never intended anything as such to happen. For the name of a nobleman was bound to yours, yet your lips would chant whispers of another.
Time became irrelevant right before you met him on this cool summer night. There the young man stood, one hand steady on the hilt of his dagger, ever vigilant should danger lurk in the tranquil embrace of the silent woods; his tense body relaxing upon the sight of your cloaked figure before him—a beacon of familiarity. You had planned to tell him about your betrothal tonight.
Although it was not much longer that you would find yourself a whimpering mess under the Blackwood boy. Your sighs mingled with the saccharine words Benjicot spoke, adding harmonies of moans and gasps of pleasure in the serenity of the haven you both made. You often feared getting caught but Benji assured you in these remote lands, he doubted anyone would be near enough to witness anything— not even the treacherous act you both selfishly indulged in. You still pray to the Gods that they grant you both the favor that no eye spies this clandestine meeting; and the many before.
You never really questioned yourself on why you couldn't confide in your father about your betrothal; had you already envisioned the conversation—mayhem would ensue. It was simple, it was the decision he made—securing your family's position through a marriage pact, a political alliance they called it. Duty, you thought yet again.
You didn't know what, or whom, to shift the blame on—or maybe it was the complexities of guilt. your guilt. You knew the inevitable, yet your selfishness, your greed, your immature desire for love; tainting your rationale. Or that maybe you should feel resentment that your father and the Lord of Stone Hedge, Humfrey Bracken regarded their relationship as close as to being kin. Maybe then you would have the strength to ignore your obligations, this once.
You cursed yourself for thinking the way you did, and you cursed the Gods for the decades-old rivarly between the ancient houses—a hatred and feud born long before either of you were born; beyond your father's time, and his father's before him, yet its roots grew, multiplying the petty divide among those that followed after them.
It made you question what started the war between the two in the first place, as sin begets sin begets sin; however, unwavering was the tryst between you and Benjicot—untouched by the strife and grudges.
He knew. You were aware of his knowledge with the woven webs you had with the Brackens; about your father's bond with the red stallion lord. Your thoughts do not come to a plausible explanation as they endlessly spun in your mind.
And all it took was Benjicot's hips to lower into yours, silencing these whirling thoughts.
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Your cloak drapes over you, offering its warmth from the breaths of wind, coming from the riverbank. It spared the watchful eyes of the forest spirits from your unneeded bareness. At your side, Benjicot lays as he adjusts his breeches.
“There’s a war soon to come,” he says as he stares at the sky, hands behind his head, ”And I ought for you to know that given the growing wars, you have not left my mind since.” he nervously confessed.
You hum in response, the weight of his words settling heavily in the quiet of the forest. "I fear what lies ahead, Ben" you whisper, your voice barely above a murmur, filled with both longing and apprehension.
He turns to you then, his gaze searching yours with an intensity that spoke of unspoken promises and uncertainties. "No matter what comes, my love for you will endure." he vows, his fingers gently tracing the contour of your cheek.
You turn your head and sit up, feeling around for your discarded garments to dress.
"Did I say something wrong?" he asks, sitting up, his expression betraying confusion at your abrupt reaction. 
"No, it's not that." you breathed out, your back faced to him. It was this very moment you had feared since the first: the inevitable.
"Well, did you not finish as I had?" he ventured in jest, a playful side of him that you loved. "Or is it because I professed my love for you?", hoping his declaration had not caused you to pull away. "Trust me, I will make sure there's nothing—"
"My betrothal..." you did not let him finish, "it's to Aeron Bracken." you said, still facing away from him as you rose from the ground. You picked on your fingers picked in nervousness of his next response. The weight of your confession hung heavy in the air.
At first he thought he had not heard you clearly, as if the world had gotten awfully quiet. It was when you repeated once more, realizing his ears did not fail him as his blood got hot—of you saying the name whom ignited an unexplainable fury in him.
"Aeron Bracken," Benjicot repeated in disbelief of your sudden confession, "The Bracken twat, eh?" — the very same Bracken he encountered in fresh conflict, near the mill's boundary stones. Although he did not show it, the tension in the air was strong enough to burn and linger its flames; his knuckles turning pale as he clenched his fists at his side.
"A craven false king follower... is bound to your name, to you." he chuckles incredulously. 
He paced in the clearing, his footsteps heavy as he turned to you. "And what are you to do about it?" He posed the question, pain plain upon his face, though hope bled through the mask of his composure. Deep down, he already knew the answer. He could scare tell if asking you such question was to self-inflict torment, or just a desperate need to face the harsh reality of your confession— not a difference between the two really.
You finally turned to meet his gaze, "It's my father's decision," you explained softly. "I... I cannot defy it." You stood before him, as your tears glisten in the faint light. Torn between love and duty.
"Ben," you pleaded, your voice shaking. "You know the stakes. It’s my duty. My family's honor—” 
"Fuck honor!" he interrupted, his voice thundering through the forest. He strides towards you, "It was long gone the very moment we first met—" he huffed out. He knew in his heart that despite the love he developed towards you, the tangled web of your kinship with the Brackens would soon unravel the bond you shared— still, he gambled with the odds, just as you had.
He had ever hoped that the old Gods would bestow the blessing of his fervent wishes—that it would be you, not some other maiden, whom he would take to wife. He often dreamed of you bearing the heirs of his house, growing gray together, and watch as your blood flow through the veins that would carry on his legacy. Yet, it was only ever a distant dream.
You reached out to him, to calm the storm raging within him, but he jerked away. "Tell me, then," he challenged, stepping closer with fire in his eyes. "Where do your loyalties lie, beyond this," he motioned between the two of you. "Are you suggesting that your father, and even yourself, are to declare for the usurper cunt of a King?" he whisper-yells to you. “Or is this some sort of arrangement with those Bracken fucks, to get back at us Blackwoods, simply just using me as a pawn, 'cus you know I'm now Lord?" His words spitting at you like venom;
“Oh, you know where my loyalties lie," you spat, your voice filled with heartache, "But I won't stand for you questioning my integrity nor my family's honor to secure a future." You glared at him as your heart stung with hurt, "And to accuse me... I would not dare to commit something so heinous even if i could; I'm not cruel, Benji."
Benjicot's jaw clenched, shaking his head as he stood facing the river, incomprehensible words muttered under his breath.
"I never asked for this," you whispered, tears welling in your eyes. "But I have responsibilities. We both do." you sniffled, swallowing the tension of your throat away, "And I know you know..." you wiped your tears, "we know... that this was bound to occur, sooner or later, Ben." your voice was barely audible, even with the deafening silence the forest came to be. "There's a war coming."
The silence hung heavy in the air, thick with unspoken words and the weight of impossible choices.
Benjicot stood before you, his expression torn between love and anguish. His hands trembled as he gathered his scattered belongings, his movements reflecting the turmoil in his heart. You mirrored his actions, silently picking the remnants of what you felt is to be your last fleeting moment of happiness.
"I swear it," he finally spoke, "would that we were not bound by the enmity between our folks, I would have already vowed myself to you. Long before your father would have you promised to another."
His words pierced your heart with longing and regret, the bitter truth of your circumstances hanging between you like a veil of sorrow. “And I would have gladly accepted it,” you replied with a heavy sigh. "—my Lord."
The Blackwood male nodded, his gaze fixed on yours, filled with a depth of emotion that mirrored your own. With a heavy heart, you both silently acknowledged the futility of your love.
Benjicot turned away first. The distance between you both grew; and his silhouette became one with the dark forest.
You knew that somewhere, amidst the pain and heartache, you would find a way to carry on—a life of uncertainty but fraught with duty. As you walked away from the happiness and love that the forest had given you, the ache in your chest spoke of a love that was lost but will never be forgotten. It would be a bittersweet reminder of what once was, and what could never be again.
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rainyvandragon · 1 year ago
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Oh those precious memories~
See I could tell myself that it's okay that I'm writing this because I am a catholic woman but let's be real those things just aren't true any more. So instead I am going to claim this as an emotional craving because of that time of the month. Definitely nothing along the lines of 10 year revival of my fanfiction writing phase. And it's totally, in no way related to any issues I might have. Totally sane, I tell you.
! 18+ Minors do not interact, I am NOT a fckn daycare!
Yandere! Hazbin Hotel x GN! Reader
Content warning: obsessive behaviour, stalking, slight NSFW (more in some parts then others), just a bunch of red flags and things that I do not condone irl
Charlie:
Honestly Charlie might be the most sane of the bunch in this regard
She isn't to interested in stealing anything from you, that is just not something she would be comfortable with – in general but especially with her Darling
However she doesn't mind keeping things that you let her borrow
It doesn't even matter what
You gave her a hair tie because one of hers broke? She'll cherish it forever
It was raining on a day she had to go out and you suggested she could use your umbrella? Pretty much hers now
Of course the greatest thing for her would be you lending her some of your clothes
She would most likely spend the next nights cuddling up to it in bed
Oh the frustration when the fabric no longer smells like you but rather her!
Yeah sure, she can give you your things back. She just forgot them in her room, oops! Don't worry she'll get them later
Unless she forgets again...
Vaggie:
She would never take anything you truly need or value
In all seriousness, Vaggie could never stand the idea of inconveniencing her Darling
However unlike Charlie she is just not close enough with you (yet) to count on you giving things to her
So instead she uses the position she has in the Hotel
There was a movie night with everybody invited?
Well somehow ever since the clean up the blanket you were cuddled up in is gone. Oh well, Vaggie will just get a new one, they weren't that expensive to begin with anyway (and if she is fast enough with it nobody is even going to notice anything)
Sadly those lucky occasions that allow her to grab some reminders of your shared time don't come around to often
And Vaggie respects you and herself to much to steal from you or go through your garbage bin
Thankfully she has the patience to wait for those windows of opportunity
And hey, since everything went relatively smoothly this week why not suggest another movie night to Charlie? Everyone involved seemed to enjoy it anyway – so there really is no harm done, right?
Angel:
Anybody who immediately thought of Angel stealing his Darling's underwear needs to take a cold shower!
Now don't get me wrong – he has thought about it
He does have a relatively high drive and desire for intimacy and sex
So sure the idea of taking something rather personal from you did cross his mind
But deep down Anthony just is a little sweetheart and he just couldn't take something like your underwear or other intimate items from you without any sort of consent
As for other, less private things
It doesn't matter if Angel and you have the same of different sizes – he WILL steal your clothes and wear them
If you wear make-up or nail polish he will definitely “borrow” things – especially lipstick
Now if his Darling is somebody who likes to keep a lot of pillows or plushies in bed he is definitely not shy about taking things from that pile either. Although, depending on how well Darling keeps track of those things, he might only borrow them for a night or two – maybe rotating between some, making sure to leave them under the bed upon returning so it looks like it just fell off the mattress
Alastor:
Now Alastor is already rather torn apart when he first noticed his desire for your belongings
He never once though about stealing from you...until you forgot something in the lobby – a book, notebook, pen, whatever it was – it was just lying there on the table next to the couches
Ever the gentleman he obviously wanted to return it to you but something inside of him fought against the very idea of it. This might be the closet he gets to having you (at least for now), his Darling
As his obsession towards you continues to grow some of his past life's interests stir awake inside of him
One day whilst helping out you cut yourself on some damaged bit of furniture. Alastor is immediately there to offer you a handkerchief to stop the bleeding – a handkerchief that quickly becomes one of his most prised possessions
If his Darling has a period he might steal some...used goods
However in comparison to some of the others, he is a lot less hungry for souvenirs
Although that is really just because, unlike them, he can use his shadows to be around you whenever and as close as he pleases
Husk:
Husk would never just go into his Darling's room to steal things from them – even if the idea sounds lovely
No instead he just checks for things you leave behind
Now his job at the hotel really helps him with that
You almost exclusively talk at the bar (“Redemption Based Group Exercises” being the only real exception)
At this point he has a rather large collection of napkins that you used or doodled on
Sometimes they disgust him but then he looks at them, the little doodles (even just to test a pen) you left on some of them, all those marks of you (bonus points for lipstick stained napkins) and he just can't
The guilty feelings are even worse with a tissue you once cried it. It's just to close of a reminder of you to throw away!
Anything small that you forget at or close to the bar gets saved by him – pens, small pieces of paper, hair ties, buttons from your clothes, whatever really. If it's small and unimportant enough for you to not really miss it he is going to keep it
Nifty:
Nifty is easily the worst of them all
She is small, fast, obsession driven and the hotel's maid on top of that
What matters most to her is how close to your body her little mementos are (it's pretty much the same way in wish the catholic church determines the value of a saint's relic)
Nifty will most definitely collect hair out of your brush
Or rummage through your garbage bins
Now if somebody is going to steal used period products!
She just really doesn't value her Darling's privacy in the slightest so she has no issues going through every little crevice of your room to look for some “hidden treasures”
Although her favourite thing to do is sleep in your used bedsheets
She is going to wash them – don't worry! Simply just not without first sleeping in them herself for a bit
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Welp this is the first time in a long while that I've actually written fanfiction so I got those emotions to sort through I guess.
English is not my first language however given how arrogant I can be regarding my skills this should be well enough written. Prove reading was done by Open Office's spell checking system and my high ass.
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readychilledwine · 1 year ago
Note
So I saw a post on Tumblr that read:
“Imagine getting fucked from behind in a broom closet of the house of wind by Rhysand, his fingers in your mouth and his breath against your ear whispering “quiet down pet, you don’t want Feyre to catch us huh?”
And I am so desperate for a fic inspired by this. 👀
I love Feysand so, so much, but the thought of this did something to me.
I love your work so I immediately came to you. If you write it, thank you!!! If not, thank you anyway bc I love all of your work!! Ok byeeeee
.......alright you got me....
Extramarital Escapes
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Warnings - smut, affair, slightly dub/con, abuse of power on Rhysand's end
A/n - I don't normally enjoy the idea of an affair and cheating, but I turned this into something I can work with.
Part 2
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This was wrong.
So very wrong.
You gasped as Rhys hit that spot inside of you again, growling as you clenched around him.
This was not what you had in mind when he hired you to be their live-in nanny. It had started innocent enough. Rhys would seek out your company when Feyre would head into Velaris. There were short glances, a soft touch to reach around you at times. Those touches slowly became longer, though. They lingered on your waist, the sides of your thighs, your arms. You had thought you were imagining it until Feyre's first trip out of the Court with Nyx.
"Have a drink with me?" He had stopped you from sorting the heir's clothing, tilting your head up to look at him. "They say you aren't supposed to drink alone, Darling."
You had agreed, following him to the cigar room you knew even Feyre never entered. It was his sanctuary. His place to be alone. She had her studio. He had this.
That one drink turned into him getting closer to you on the couch, cornering you between him and it. He tipped the wine back further as you took a sip, trying to get you to relax with this dangerous look in his eyes.
You were pinned below him an hour later, drunk and begging him to fuck you harder, to let you cum. All while he smiled above you, eyes blown out in lust, saying over and over again that you felt exactly like he imagined.
You had told him the next morning it was a one-time thing, that it would never happen again, regardless of if you wanted it to happen. The High Lord simply smirked, undressing you with his eyes all over again. "We will see."
He cornered and took you anytime he wanted after that.
On his desk after Feyre would fall asleep.
On the table when she was out of the house and Nyx was down for a nap.
In your room during the dead of night when he decided his wife wouldn't satisfy his need to feel complete control and power over someone.
You had told him this morning that you were done. If he continued to touch you after this, you would tell Azriel, Cassian, or Feyre, believing one of them would protect you from him.
You loved Nyx and he was why you had put up with being Rhysand's whore for so long, but you needed it to end. You needed the guilt to stop eating you alive at night. You knew you were worth more, are worth more.
Rhysand had again smiled. "You love your job, don't you, y/n?" You nodded, eyes watering. "And in your contract, it is stated your job is to ensure the happiness of my family, correct?" You nodding again. "Then I suppose if you are not willing to fulfill that obligation, I should find a new nanny."
He knew he had you as you took a shaky breath, tears rolling down your face at the idea of never seeing his son again. "I'd hate to take him away from you. He loves you so much, and it is so very clear you love him."
"Rhys, please," you felt him pull you to him, slotting you between his legs as he sat on his desk. "I just can't keep being a mated males whore."
His face softened, hand moving to hold your chin. "You are not my whore. You are my escape. If you do not want that, if you do not want to be loved by me, then we have so few options."
You looked up and away from him. "I just want to take care of Nyx. Like I was hired to do."
"Then you do so on my conditions."
That was how you found yourself, chest pressed against the wall in an unused broom closet. The High Lord pounding you from behind, his fingers down your waiting throat to silence your cries.
You felt your eyes roll back, moaning loudly as you sucked those digits. His other hand was on your clit, circling the bundle of nerves in time with each heavy drag of his cock. "Shush," he growled in your ear. "Gotta be quiet, darling. You wouldn't want Feyre to catch us, would you?" He nipped your pointed ear, causing your walls to twitch around him. "Acting like you don't love my cock inside of you this morning, but now here we are. Sure, it feels like you love it when I'm inside of you. Don't you?"
You could only nod, eyes squeezing shut and moaning more as his hips met the plush skin of your ass over and over, driving into you again and again.
You could feel your orgasm building waiting for him to give the command to let go, and suddenly, he stopped. Pulling out of you and slapping your aching cunt. "This is your punishment for trying to end things with me," he whispered into your ear. "If you're a good girl the rest of the day, maybe I will let you cum tonight when she goes to Rita's with the girls."
He left you there, wet and aching for him in that broomcloset. You sunk down the wall, head falling to your knees.
A few hours later, you had finally gotten Nyx down for the night. You sighed, heading to Rhysand's office to let him know the heir was sleeping, that you would tend to him during the night since Feyre was gone, but two hushed voices had you stopping.
"You have to tell her," a feminine voice stated. "I don't want her to quit over this. Nyx loves her, Rhys."
"I know," Rhysand's voice was barely audible. "She tried today. I had to manipulate her into staying before I fucked her in the broom closet. You were supposed to catch us and join us."
You covered your mouth, hiding the gasp you made before standing silently. Feyre sighed on the other side of the door, "I got busy. Azriel had reports, and he was looking for you. I had to lie to him, Rhys. I don't want to keep lying to our family about her and what she is to us."
"Then let's replan it for next week. Since you are supposed to be out of the house. I wanted to give her the weekend off. I'm scared if I do now, she won't come back."
You walked away, having heard enough information, yet not enough all at the same time.
You could not tell if you were angry, excited, curious. You went to your room, closing and locking the door.
As you bathed, the side of you that hated games began to emerge, and you began a plan of your own. In that moment, you decided one thing, if Rhysand and Feyre wanted to play, you'd play too.
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General tag list:
@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager
Rhys tag list:
@tothestarsandwhateverend
💜 If you would like to be added to my general taglist, or a character specific one, let me know 💜
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cressidagrey · 7 months ago
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Lightning in the Bottle - Chapter 9
Summary: 
Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was actually pretty much useless. The only thing she wanted was to be somebody's first choice for once in her life.
Also known as: Azriel's shadows decide that if he doesn't treat his mate right... they'll just do it for him.
Warnings: 
Elain Bashing, Rhys is trying to be a supportive big brother, This is officially the penultimate chapter of this story, but the series will eventually go on!
(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)
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“When was I supposed to tell you?” Eira asked Feyre calmly. “You said you were busy with more important things. You were busy with running this court.”
She didn’t give her sister the fault for that, but…
“I would have…” Feyre protested but then cut herself off. “No, I wouldn’t have,” she sighed. “That’s on me. I gave you no opportunity to come to me, no reason why you should ever trust me again…” Feyre said softly, trailing off, staring at Eira with wide blue eyes. “I am sorry.”
“For what? Saying what you were thinking?” Eira asked her sister, her eyebrows furrowing. “You are allowed to do that, Feyre. Even if I don’t like to hear it.”
Even when she didn’t want to hear it…even then.
“Talking to you like this,” Feyre pointed out, reaching out for her hand.  “When I told you that I had more important things to do when you were only trying to be nice to me…or when I put my nose into what happened between Azriel and you.”
Eira swallowed at that. 
“Don’t be,” Eira assured her sister, forcing a smile on her face.  “It was time for me to…to realise that he’s completely uninterested and that any hope of him changing his mind is a fever dream.” Azriel wasn’t interested and he never would be. It would be better for everybody if Eira just accepted that. 
She would get over him. Find somebody else…maybe somebody that she wouldn’t annoy… maybe some long-suffering male… who was willing to take pity on her.  “You don’t need to worry about it anymore, Feyre. I won’t try and talk to him again,” she promised her sister. 
Feyre had enough other things to worry about. Eira’s feelings weren’t going to inconvenience anyone any more. 
“No!” Feyre exclaimed and she stared at her sister. 
What? 
This was what Feyre had wanted, wasn’t it?
“No?” she repeated questioningly, a hand still gently running over Nyx's back that was happily cuddling with her, playing with her fingers. 
“What Feyre means is that…you have every right to…handle your relationships as you see fit,” Nesta hurried to add. 
Her relationships?
“There is no relationship. There never will be a relationship. I’ll get over myself,” Eira promised. Eventually. “You don’t need to worry about it. I won’t annoy him any longer or inconvenience you.”
You’ve never annoyed Master, the shadows hissed at her, suddenly appearing and wrapping themselves around her hand. 
“It’s very sweet of you to say that, but we both know it is a lie,“ she said quietly, blinking back the tears that threatened to run over her face. It was so sweet. So sweet of them to do that…but it was useless. 
Don’t worry, I’ll find somebody else,” she said with a confidence she didn’t feel. Somebody that…somebody that maybe wanted her…somebody that she wouldn’t annoy…somebody that… “Is everything alright with Elain’s wedding planning?“ she asked, changing the topic. Eira hoped everything was alright with that, otherwise poor Elain would be so stressed once again and…
“Eira, forget that fucking wedding for a moment,” Nesta snapped and she flinched, worriedly looking at Nyx that didn’t seem to care one way or another about Nesta’s cursing. What was wrong with the wedding? Had something gone amiss? Was it her fault? Was it something that Eira had done?! “Look at me,” her older sister said with a sigh. She did. Eira’s eyes met Nesta’s, silver and grey, so similar. “I am sorry,” Nesta told her earnestly. 
“Why are you apologising?” Eira asked. What was…
“Because I threw everything I could think of at your head when I…during those weeks and you still came to visit me every week. You wouldn’t have needed to do that but you still did,” Nesta said quietly. 
“You’re my sister. Of course, I came to visit you,” Eira said fiercely. Of course, she had come to visit Nesta. She would have…otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself. ”You don’t need to apologise,” Eira assured her. It was fine. Nesta had…had a really bad time and…
“Yes, I do,” Nesta snapped. “You should be angry with me!”
Furious…Angry…But then Eira had never really been angry quickly. She had never…And even when she had gotten angry, it had never held for very long…even her anger at Elain had gone away in a few hours. 
It sparked and then it went out again.
“You should be furious with me! For belittling you, for telling you that all the dresses you make are ugly, for behaving like I did!”
She repeated the words, and something deep inside Eira curled together once she heard them again, even when Nesta was sorry about all she had said. 
It was fine. Nesta could… her dresses weren’t as perfect as some that one could buy maybe…maybe Nesta was right. Maybe she should keep to hemming them and shortening sleeves and alterations and stop making things from scratch…maybe she should…“You are entitled to your own opinion,” she said softly. 
“Not when I use it to hurt you on purpose!” Nesta yowled. “You never told me you made me a wedding dress,” she said, her voice dropping, sounding weak. 
How did she…
For just a moment it felt like Eira’s heart was stopping. Then she swallowed, and she looked down at Nyx, still cuddled up to her, as she answered.  “You wouldn’t have wanted to wear it, so what did it matter? It’s ugly.”
Not good enough. Not pretty enough. Worthless.
“It’s beautiful,” Nesta responded, her voice splintering. 
Eira just closed her eyes. 
She couldn’t stand it. She could deal with the harsh words but she could not deal with the outright lying. She could not… “You don’t need to tell me that to spare my feelings, Nesta. I understand,” Eira said weakly. She did understand it. 
It was alright. It was…
“I am not lying to you!” Nesta snapped.” “Be angry at us. Scream at us. Throw us out, Eira. But don’t just…accept it. Don’t just turn the other cheek. Don’t just…”
What good could that possibly do?
“So I am angry and then what, Nesta?” Eira finally asked, for the first time feeling so utterly tired. “Is screaming at you supposed to make me feel better or you?” she asked, for the life of her not understanding what Nesta wanted from her. “I love you, but I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I think it may be better if you all take a break,” a voice came from the doorway and she looked up to see Rhysand there. 
Gods, couldn’t she at least be spared that? 
At least…
“I am not…” Nesta started, but Rhys cut her off quietly. 
“Nesta. Please.” She had never heard the two of them talk to each other like that. 
Never. 
But now they did. And to Eira’s shock, her older sister listened. 
“Fine,” she agreed with a sigh, as Feyre scooped up Nyx, who gave her a toothy smile as she waved at him. 
Both Feyre and Nesta left the room, leaving her alone with Rhys. 
“If this is about my ill-hidden puppy crush on your spymaster, you don’t need to worry about that,” she told him, trying to make her voice seem frosty and probably failing horribly. “I promise I’ll do whatever you want so that he’s not uncomfortable.”
Maybe then she would get out of needing to have a conversation about it with Rhys…maybe then he wouldn’t start making fun of her or laughing at it…
God, it must be utterly ridiculous to a man who was over 500 years old. She probably was just…
The last thing she had expected was for him to watch her with his dark violet eyes and then say three words: “I am sorry.”
Why was everybody insisting on apologising to her today?
And why was Rhys of all people apologising to her? Was it because of him looking into her mind? Seeing her deepest darkest secrets? Stripping her mind naked for him to see and gawk at? 
Was it that?
“About taking a peek into my mind? Weren’t you trying to keep my pain at bay?” she asked, crossing her arms, ignoring the pain that appeared again in her ribs. 
“I was,” Rhys agreed. “But I should have known better. I was arrogant and not careful enough. You have a right to privacy, Eira, and I violated that. And then I violated it further when I told everybody what you felt when they were talking to you.”
Oh great. It just got worse and worse. 
“It’s fine,” she said, waving him off meekly. She didn’t have the strength to argue with him right now. 
“It’s not,” Rhys disagreed with a sigh. “And that’s not the only thing that I am sorry about either. I am sorry about the role I played in making you feel like you have no place here in Velaris,” he continued and her head snapped up to him. 
How…of course. He had seen everything. 
 “Like you are worthless…that you don’t matter,” Rhys continued softly. “I should have never talked to you like that, and I should have realised that we have taken you for granted a very long time ago,” Rhys said. “Even now you are wondering why Feyre and Nesta even bother to apologise to you. Eira, it wasn’t right how we treated you. When I finally got to pull myself from your mind, I threw up, because I was so utterly disgusted with what members of our family said to you. And I am counting myself onto that list as well.”
She didn’t even know what to say to that. 
She didn’t…
It was everything she had ever wished anybody would tell her…Everything right there offered to her on a silver platter. 
She could feel the tears burn into her eyes because she was…”What do you want?” Eira finally choked out. “What do you want, Rhysand? You wouldn’t say that if you didn’t want something. So what is it?”
What did he want that…
But she hadn’t expected him to reach out, one warm broad hand settling on her shoulder. 
“Oh, little one,” he breathed. “I don’t…I don’t want anything from you. This isn’t me manipulating you into giving up even more of yourself. The only thing I want is for you to be happy. I want you to know that we love you. I want you to know that none of us took for granted what you did…that you took this knife for Nyx. You were willing to give your own life for my son, Eira.” 
She had. 
“I am sorry for the role I played. I am not expecting you to forgive me now, but I would…hope that you may let me earn your forgiveness. May let all of us work for it.”
She had no idea what to think of that, didn’t know what to say about any of that, as the tears ran over her cheeks and he handed her a handkerchief from nowhere, his magic easily answering his call. 
“Think about it?” he requested softly. “If you don’t think you can ever forgive us…we’ll figure out somewhere else for you to stay…you won't ever need to worry about money or anything else…but if you were willing to give us a second chance…I know that Feyre and Nesta would be so happy to have you here.”
She didn’t want to go anywhere else. She was too connected to her family for that, she loved them too much that she thought that she could be happy anywhere further away from them. Maybe a smarter person would have taken Rhys’ offer with both hands, would have made herself a nice little life somewhere near the Summer Court maybe…but…
So finally she just nodded. 
She would give them a chance to fix things. She could try. 
And if it didn’t work out…maybe she would find herself somewhere else then. 
“There is…something else, I need to show you, if that’s alright, though,” Rhys continued quietly. “And it’s not..going to be…nice,” he warned her. “Elain had a vision.”
A vision? A bad one? “When?” Eira asked tonelessly. Were they in danger? 
“Close to two years ago,” Rhys answered gently. “Soon after you were made…and since then Elain has…manipulated circumstances so that it wouldn’t come to fruition. She didn’t tell anybody about it.”
This didn’t sound well. This didn’t sound like her sister either. 
“Is she alright?” Eira demanded and Rhys nodded. 
“She’s fine,” he promised her, his voice even. “I think it’s better if you see it if you’ll let me show you.” 
She nodded her agreement, swallowing…steeling herself for death and destruction and then getting…neither. 
Actually, that vision was…the softest, sweetest thing she had ever seen. 
It was…It was everything she had ever wanted. 
A little girl with her caramel brown hair…dark eyes…hazel and green…and wings. She had wings? Illyrian wings?
Eira watched herself with the little girl…watched them pull the carrots out of the ground…watched the little girl grin at her, gap-toothed and beautiful…everything she had ever wanted. 
And then…then she saw these violently scarred hands that had only ever touched her with so much gentleness…scoop up the little girl, her daughter…her mud-sprinkled dress decorated with little floral embroidery and settled her on his hip in a move that looked like he had done it hundreds and thousands of time. 
It was…
Azriel. 
What? How…why…the wings. It was his child? Her child? His child? Their child?!
He lifted up the basket that they kept their harvest in and then helped up her…the touch gentle and…intimate in a way that spoke of their…that…
One hand was pressed against the swell of her belly…another child slumbering inside her. 
A baby. 
Her babies. 
Their babies. 
No, this…this…
Her blood rushed in her ears, her breathing rapid as her vision cleared and Rhys looked at her quietly…nearly pitying. 
“The mating bond snapped for Azriel during dinner a few days ago,” he told her, his voice quiet. 
No. No. No. 
“This isn’t funny.” She wasn’t even sure how she forced these words out of her mouth. She wasn’t sure how she did that…How she…
“It’s not a joke,” Rhys assured her quietly. “It’s the truth, Eira. Elain saw that and decided to stop it from happening.
No. 
Not Elain. Not her twin sister. Not…
Azriel. Azriel?
At least I found two males in my life willing to marry me. The one you have your ridiculous puppy crush on is never even going to look at you!”
But you do need to realise, Eira, that that is never going to go anywhere. 
Azriel is completely disinterested. And it would be better for you if you finally realised that.
I want you to be happy. And thirsting after a male that will never return your affections you won’t do that. He’s not going to change his mind, Eira.
You should just stop your pathetic attempts to flirt with him. All you manage is to make him uncomfortable. 
There are plenty of fish in the sea… You’ll find somebody else one day.
It’s still never going to go anywhere!
He’s completely disinterested.
Her breathing came in sharp gasps. Blood rushed in her ears. 
Elain had said all of that. Elain. 
Elain, who had known that Eira had fallen in love. Who had seen this vision…who had seen her…her children. Her babies. 
Azriel’s children. These perfect babies? 
And Elain had tried to make sure that they never would exist?!
Her babies…
The first sob that broke out of her chest, the first fat tears that spilt over her face as she buried her face in her hands…as she cried. 
“I know. I know, little one,” Rhys whispered quietly. 
“Why did she do this?” Eira forced out, forcing a deep lungful of air into her constricting lungs. Why would she do this? Why had she…Why had Elain seen this and then…then behaved like this…why had she…Why…
“Shhhhh,” Rhys shushed her softly, gently brushing a hand over her hair, smoothing it over “It’s alright. It’s alright.” 
It wasn’t alright. None of this was alright.
And she couldn’t stop the tears or the sob that shook her…even as she didn’t know how long it took until Nesta crawled into bed with her, hauling her against her body and holding her tightly. Even as Feyre curled up next to her, holding her hand…until it was the three of them, just as it had been in that cottage…lacking one sister. 
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reixtsu · 7 months ago
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Characters seeking you out during random times
pt 1?
Character: Wanderer
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Wanderer
-> Archons, why would you even think that he would seek YOU out, out of all people?! There is no reason why he would... right?
-> Well despite him being so against the feeling, he couldn't help himself but feel the desire to be near you. *sigh* How irritating.
-> Everyday he would try to avoid you, finding refuge in the forest and talking to the aranara. His logic was that if he was away from you long enough, he would stop desiring to be near you.
-> Damn how that made his feelings worse. As The days went by, all he could think about was you. Your hands, your way of caring for him, your little jokes and unfavorable attitude. How dare his nonexistent heart long for you, a mere mortal
-> No matter, he thought. He was a puppet. He knew he was able to handle avoiding you.
-> What he forgot, however, was how much you knew about him.
-> So to his dismay, you found him one day while climbing a tree.
After a while of following Wanderer through the woods, you finally were able to corner him and demand an explanation on why he disappeared suddenly. Your furrowed eyebrows, your tone, it was all annoying to him. All of the unnecessary attachment you hold for him was insufferable, something he could barely tolerate. So, he simply crossed his arms and glared at you with his usual cold stare.
"It's not your responsibility to look after me. I am perfectly able to take care of myself," Wanderer said bluntly, wasting no time to turn around and walk away. You huffed, but stood there for a moment, wondering if you did something wrong.
In Wanderer's eyes, yes, you did do something wrong. You made him too attached to you to the point where he would make meals for you once and a while, accompany you in your journeys, and even 'comfort' you in your times of need. You were too dangerous. He had to stay away from you.
However, you being you, you wouldn't let him get away that easily.
Everyday you made an effort to find Wanderer, make him his favorite foods, leave him little notes and gifts, anything that might attract his attention and get him to talk to you. After a good few weeks, your efforts on seeing him finally paid off and he knocked on your door in the middle of the night.
It was a rainy night, too cold for anyone to go outside for enjoyment. Three light taps were heard on your door as you slowly opened your eyes, your eyelids begging to shut. With a small groan, you left your bed and made your way to the door, opening it to reveal the one and only, Wanderer.
He just stood there, water streaming down his hat and his shoes drenched with water. He looked like a wet kitty who came to a house for some food. Wanderer stood there in silence for a moment before stepping inside and instantly drying himself off using the power of anemo. Convenient.
You smiled at him, confused as to why he was acting so strangely.
Wanderer knew he couldn't last any longer, with his heartbeat deafening his ears and his cheeks excluding a deadly heat, he coughed into his hands and averted his eyes rather quickly.
"I... Want...You," Shit, that came out wrong. Wanderer cursed to himself, his cheeks only heating out more out of pure embarrassment as he waited for your reply.
Silence.
A paused moment of awkward silence that seemed to make the room stuffy.
He begged the archons for you to say something instead of looking at him as if he was crazy. Okay, maybe he was, but still! He quickly glanced at you, then pulled his hat down, avoiding eye contact.
That is when you laughed. It was a nice light hearted laugh. A tune that always made Wanderer's nonexistent heart soften with a certain gentless. The way you smiled and clutched your stomach did annoy him a little though.
"What do you mean 'you want me', hm, Wanderer?" You asked teasingly, smirking as you reached your hand out to gently lift his hat up to see his eyes.
He instantly frowned, his blushing intensifying as he started to lose his 'breath'. "I didn't mean that! I meant to say that I apologize for avoiding you and that I want.. your... hugs." He said the last part in a mumble grumble.
You couldn't help but chuckle at his cuteness as you started to hug him, much to Wanderer's dismay. "Aw! You can be so cute sometimes!"
Wanderer tensed up at the close proximity of you both. He sighed, annoyed with himself that he couldn't be away from you for too long. With a single hand, he placed his hand on the small of your back and gently patted it.
It was a soft pat, and you gladly accepted it. Wanderer wasn't one for giving affection, so when he does show it you know that something is up. Giving him a small peck on his cheek, you grabbed his hands and let him to your bed.
He knew that you were his cherished weakness, and he vowed to never leave your side for too long. He loved you, after all.
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cruel-seduction · 19 days ago
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Remus Lupin as Your Boyfriend
warning - Suggestive language (no smut tho) And idk
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(୨୧) The Bookstore Gentleman - Remus will always find a way to make your heart flutter in the quietest, most thoughtful ways. Like when he insists on carrying your bag through the aisles of a dusty bookstore, quietly plucking a book off the shelf that he knows you’ll love and slipping it into the pile. (You didn’t notice until you got home, and now you’re melting because this nerdy cutie remembers everything you say.) Bonus: He’ll read it with you, even if it’s a cheesy romance novel.
(୨୧) The “Am I Enough?” Eyes - Sometimes, when you’re talking about something you’re passionate about, Remus will stare at you with this soft, almost sad smile, as if he’s wondering how someone like you could love someone as “damaged” as him. (First of all, we love this self-doubting man, but sir, please. Look in the mirror. You’re stunning. Scars and all.)
(୨୧) The Full Moon Touch - The closer it gets to the full moon, the more possessive he becomes. It’s subtle at first—his hand lingering on your waist a little longer than usual, his tone getting sharper when someone flirts with you. But then there are the nights where he pulls you close, his voice low and gravelly as he mutters, “You’re mine. No one else gets to look at you the way I do.” (Oh, we’re weak for possessive Remus.)
(୨୧) The Sweater Thief - You know those oversized sweaters he always wears? Yeah, good luck keeping your hands off them. And the best part? He doesn’t even mind when you steal them—he secretly loves seeing you in them. (“You look better in it than I do,” he’ll say with a shy smile, even though he looks like an absolute dream in everything he wears.)
(୨୧) The Jealous Nerd - Oh, Remus tries to be rational, but when someone is blatantly flirting with you, his insecurities take over. He doesn’t lash out; instead, he’ll go quiet and broody, probably burying his nose in a book to avoid showing how much it’s bothering him. (Cue you dragging him out of the library and planting the biggest kiss on his lips, just to remind him that he’s the only one you want.)
(୨୧) The “I Don’t Deserve You” Whisperer - On the rare nights when his walls come down completely, he’ll hold you close, his voice barely above a whisper as he confesses, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” (Sir, what did we do to deserve you?!) You’ll spend the next hour convincing him that he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
(୨୧) The Bedroom Poet - Don’t let the quiet demeanor fool you. When he’s alone with you, this man has a way with words that’ll make you forget how to breathe. Imagine him tracing your skin with his fingertips, murmuring lines from his favorite poems, his voice husky and full of reverence. (“If I could write you into the stars, I’d make every constellation spell your name,” he whispers. Dead. We’re dead.)
(୨୧) The “Anger Isn’t Sexy, But Remus Makes It Work” Moment - When his temper flares during the full moon, it’s like watching a storm roll in—dangerous, but oddly captivating. He’ll try to push you away, not wanting to scare you, but you refuse to leave. And when he finally lets you in, the raw vulnerability in his eyes is enough to break your heart. (Bonus: the makeup cuddles are the stuff of dreams.)
(୨୧) The Late-Night Snuggler - Remus might have a hard time believing he deserves you, but he’ll cling to you like you’re his lifeline in the middle of the night. You’ll wake up to find him wrapped around you, his face buried in your hair, mumbling something incoherent about how much he loves you. (Okay, but why is this man so perfect?)
(୨୧) The Kitchen Disaster - He tries so hard to cook for you, but let’s face it, this man is a walking disaster in the kitchen. (“It’s supposed to look like that,” he insists, pointing at a half-burnt omelet that looks more like a science experiment gone wrong.) But the way he smiles at you when you laugh at his mess? Worth it.
(୨୧) The Overthinking Lover
This man will overthink literally everything. Did he hug you too tight? Did he say the wrong thing? The best part is, you won’t even have to ask, because he’ll apologize before you can even notice anything’s wrong. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. If I did, I’m so sorry…” (And then you’ll have to reassure him for ten minutes, because no, Remus, you did not make me uncomfortable. You’re perfect, actually.)
(୨୧) The Bedroom Eyes, But Soft
When Remus wants you, it’s not the aggressive way some guys do. It’s soft, deliberate, and tender. His eyes—those warm, honey-colored eyes—will turn molten as he gets closer. He’ll brush your hair behind your ear, whisper something sweet, like “You’re so beautiful,” before kissing you softly. (But when the full moon approaches? Lord have mercy. He’s a completely different animal, in every sense.)
(୨୧) The Scars Don't Matter
Remus doesn’t always talk about his scars, but if you ask, he’ll softly admit that they remind him of darker times. But here’s the thing: when he’s with you, he doesn’t hide them. You love him for all of it. (And when you touch those scars, he just melts. That’s you, loving all of him—the good and the not-so-good.)
(୨୧) The Morning After Glow - Waking up next to Remus is pure bliss. He’s all warm skin and soft smiles, his hair sticking out in every direction. He doesn’t even try to hide the way he’s staring at you, his voice low and raspy as he mumbles, “You’re beautiful, you know that?” (Bonus: He’s totally the type to pull you back under the covers for another round—because why not start the day with a little magic?)
(୨୧) The Late-Night Study Sessions - As much as he tries to keep things strictly academic, there’s something about the way he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and the low rumble of his voice as he explains something that gets you completely distracted. (Cue you crawling into his lap, his book falling to the floor, and Remus pretending like he’s annoyed before giving in entirely. “You’re impossible,” he whispers, but the grin on his face says otherwise.)
(୨୧) The Gentle Dominance - Remus is calm and controlled most of the time, but when he’s in the right mood? Oh, he’s the type to hold your wrists above your head, pinning you to the mattress with a look that sends shivers down your spine. His voice is steady, a little rough around the edges, as he teases, “Do you trust me?” (Spoiler: Yes. Always yes.)
(୨୧) The Accidentally Sexy Nerd - Remus doesn’t even realize half the time how attractive he is. Like when he’s lost in a book, biting his lip in concentration, or when he pushes his sleeves up and reveals those forearms. (Seriously, sir. Give us a warning next time.) And let’s not forget the way he chews on the end of his quill when he’s thinking. Dead. We’re dead.
(୨୧) The Rougher Side - When the full moon is close, all of Remus’s usual gentleness goes out the window. His kisses are bruising, his hands are everywhere, and his voice drops an octave as he growls, “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” It’s raw and unfiltered, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make your knees weak. (We love a man who can be both tender and wild.)
(୨୧) The Shower Stealer - Remus isn’t one to waste water, but he has no problem joining you in the shower uninvited. He’s all teasing smirks as he presses up behind you, his hands roaming lazily over your skin. “Two birds, one stone,” he says with a chuckle, but the way he looks at you suggests he’s got other ideas. 
(୨୧) The Secret Soft Dom - Remus is a giver through and through, and nothing makes him happier than seeing you come undone for him. He’s all about the slow build, his lips brushing over your skin as he whispers filthy promises in your ear. And when you beg? Oh, that’s his undoing.
(୨୧) The Random Acts of Love - Remus has this way of making you feel adored without even trying. Whether it’s leaving little notes in your books, brewing your favorite tea just the way you like it, or wrapping his scarf around your neck when you’re cold—he’s always thinking of you. (Honestly, how did we get so lucky?)
(୨୧) The Post-Argument Cuddler - When Remus gets upset or angry (which, let’s face it, is pretty rare), he goes quiet, holding everything inside. But once it blows over, he won’t leave you alone until he’s held you and kissed you senseless, whispering apologies and reassurances. (He’s not great with words when he’s feeling vulnerable, so he’ll do what he does best—show you with actions). After an argument, his kisses are softer, deeper, as if he’s apologizing without saying a word.
(୨୧) The Bed Head King - Remus’ hair is always a mess. He won’t admit it, but you love the way it falls across his forehead in that perfectly imperfect way. You can’t help but run your fingers through it, tugging him closer for a kiss. (And if you’re honest, you think he looks even more irresistible with a bit of morning bedhead, like he rolled out of a dream).
(୨୧) The Dreamy Stare - There are moments when Remus looks at you like you’re the only thing that matters, his eyes soft and full of longing. You could be talking about your day, and suddenly you’ll catch him staring at you like he’s trying to memorize every little detail of you. (Honestly, who knew someone could look at you like that and make your heart race?)
(୨୧) The Reassurance King - Remus knows he can be a little insecure, so he makes sure you’re never left in doubt about how he feels. He’s always telling you how much you mean to him in his own quiet way, often through small gestures like brushing your hair out of your face or rubbing your back when you’re stressed. (It’s not just the words—it’s the way he shows up for you, every single time.)
(୨���) The Soft, Heart-Stopping Kisses - Remus isn’t the type for wild, frenzied kisses (except when the full moon is very close), but when he kisses you, it’s like the world melts away. Soft, slow, full of meaning—his lips never rush, and his hands always find their way to your face, gently cradling it like you’re the most precious thing in the world. (And those moments? They’ll stay with you forever.)
(୨୧) The “I Can’t Control Myself” Moments - Remus really tries to hold back, especially when he’s overwhelmed by feelings of desire and inadequacy. But when he finally lets go—oh, baby, he’s a whole different man. His kisses turn deeper, his touch becomes needier, and there’s this fire in his eyes that says, “I need you.” (And you’ll both forget where the lines are drawn, tangled in the moment of sheer passion.)
divider by - @enchanthings-a
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esther-dot · 2 months ago
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when long night falls 6k
Appearances can be deceiving, and Jon is not yet used to discerning truths from lies. Her hair is brown enough, even in the candlelight, where Sansa’s was red. Ygritte was kissed by fire, as was Sansa. Neither had been lucky.
All That We Forgot 16k by @rumaan
The Wall has fallen, the North has fled south, and Stannis Baratheon sends a delegation to the Vale of Arryn, the last untouched region of Westeros to seek their aid against the Others. A delegation that includes Lord Commander Snow. What will this mean for Alayne Stone?
The Thawing of Winter 100k by @jade-masquerade
Sansa knew Jon married her—married Alayne—for the Vale, or maybe, because of his past, he saw her as a fellow bastard and meant to raise her up the same as his people did for him, how they chose Lord Eddard’s sole surviving son as King in the North. But when she looked at him, she saw nothing of the sort in his eyes, only a flash of desire, the way a man ought to look at his wife, before he steadied his gaze. If this was truly wrong, she wondered, then why did the gods let it feel so right? corresponding moodboard by @the-lords-kiss corresponding moodboard by @sunbeamsandmoonrays corresponding gif by @readingisloving
Came Down the Mountain 12k by @darkmagyk
Alayne Stone makes a name for herself during the Long Night by feeding the troops of the army of the living. But after the Dawn Breaks, her father takes to back up to the Eyrie, even as she hears that a new Stark has taken Winterfell, a young Lord named Brandon. But whatever Petyr Baelish had planned for her must change with Daenerys Targrayen flies up to them on dragon back with a offer the woman who is Sansa Stark is desperate to refuse. corresponding moodboard by @the-lords-kiss
maybe everything that dies, some day comes back 1k orphaned
Following his resurrection, Jon leads a retinue of men to gather supplies and new recruits where they can find them. He doesn’t expect to find anything else along the way — that is, until they reach the Vale, where the echoes of harp strings can be heard in the middle of the night, and a bastard girl in the Eyrie strikes a chord within Jon he thought to be long vanished.
You lied to me ficlet by @justadram
“You lied to me,” Jon pants, swinging his legs over the side of her narrow bed and sinking his head into his hands.
Stone and Snow 1k by @jonsastan
“My daughter, Alayne Stone.” Petyr Baelish’s voice exuded charm and submission. The Dragon Queen did not seem impressed. Alayne dipped into a low curtsy, focusing her eyes on the Queen’s small feet. Such mighty ambition walked through the world on such tiny feet. “Your grace.” She murmured. The Queen looked at her for a long moment, longer than royalty looked at a bastard. “You’re a pretty little bird.” Still a bird. Alayne thought before scolding herself. Not before, only now. You were never a little bird in a gilded cage. You are bastard born and bastard brave.
cover your eyes (do i feel right, darling?) 12k @majicmarker
Jon Snow’s arrival at the Vale is met with trepidation and intrigue; after all, what could this bastard-come-prince want in this far-off corner of his kingdom? But Jon has heard the whispers that the Eyrie’s prized beauty is not a bastard of Littlefinger’s at all, but the daughter of Winterfell—and Jon means to steal her away.
Underneath, All Along ficlet by @myrish-lace-love
Jon steals Sansa from the Vale, but for reasons of her own, she'd like to stay Alayne a little longer. Alayne, after all, can wish for the company of her handsome traveling companion at night.
Alayne AU 4k by @sunbeamsandmoonrays
A girl in grey on a dying horse the stranger may be, but she was not his sister. The Red Woman gave him a false prophecy…and false hope, it seemed. So why was he still transfixed? corresponding moodboard
frostfire ficlet by @zoyaalinas
jon and alayne at the eyrie. vale au. post parentage reveal.
Who am I darling, to you? ficlets 1, 2 by @blackholeofprocrastination
When Jon’s is sent to treat with the Lords of the Vale, he finds someone unexpected on the weirwood throne.
as i stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge 12k
Jon travels to the Vale to find allies in the fight against the army of the dead.
godless 3k by @charmtion
Alayne. He tastes the word. Lets it roll on his tongue like a plum-stone, the scraps of flesh still sweet on it.
Lies/Luck 1k by @phosphorescent-naidheachd
“Have we met before?” he asked, the words leaving his lips before he could think them through.
My Maid of Stone 11k WIP by @cappymightwrite
It was a near windless half-hour of waiting. Of only her cloak and hair occasionally moving, her body as rooted as a tree. Later she would remember this day mostly as metals. Silver of the valley. Iron of the rocks and the clouds. Zinc of the evening storm in its full fury. Rare gold of the sky as it chose now to break open. Her silence matched her stillness, until at last, there, out of the mist: marching men. * Or, a newly crowned King in the North comes to the Gates of the Moon, unaware of what he will find there…
if i can't relate to you anymore, then who am i related to? 13k by @jonsaslove
Alayne watches him. She knows. In her bones she knows. But her mouth doesn’t let her form the words. Her mind doesn’t let her consciously acknowledge it. Because it cannot be, it can never be. If she lets herself accept the startling truth she can't unknow it, and then every carefully crafted facade will come crashing down. Because the man is Jon Snow. And Jon Snow can’t know that she is Sansa Stark. (Because she’s not. She’s Alayne Stone. And somehow that’s more dangerous). -- Or; Jon comes to the Eyrie. Alayne remembers.
Stone and Snow 1k by @alemoncakelife
Jon Snow meets Alayne Stone corresponding edit
Family Ties 2k by @framboise-fics
Her husband had her father thrown out of the Moon Door. Her husband is her brother. Her brother is her cousin. Daughter, sister, cousin, wife. Who is she supposed to be? She will let her husband tell her, she supposes.
what one finds in the snow 1k by @amymel86
The Eyrie is perhaps the most peculiar castle Jon has visited as Lord Commander, nestled high in the Mountains of the Moon, surrounded by nothing but air, craggy rocks and soaring birds.
I Remember (I Remember) 1k by @hilarychuff
“That’s pretty,” Jon says, and her heart thumps hard in her chest.
What Lies Beneath Her Skin 100k by @chispas-and-broken-bindings
Sansa Stark returns to a fractured North for the first time since traveling south as a young child to be fostered by her Aunt Lysa in King's Landing. Stannis Baratheon's troops have broken against the walls of Winterfell, starved and weakened by the relentless northern storms - their King's fate unknown. Roose Bolton lies dead within Winterfell's walls as his bastard, Ramsey Snow dances a bloody minuet with Jon Snow, the half-brother whom she has never met, and his rag-tag band of wildlings in the northern woods. Petyr promises that it's time for a true Stark to return and bring these mongrels to heel, with the might of the Vale behind her. Yet, the girl does not feel like a true Stark, nor does she know how to break free from Littlefinger's claws. A chance encounter sets her on course to Jon Snow's war camp, where disguised as Alayne, she helps the resurrected King-in-the-North unite the North and become Sansa Stark once again.
Rosemary (For Remembrance) 7k by @orangeflavoryawp
“’My daughter, Alayne Stone,’ Baelish repeats, motioning toward her, almost daring in his tone. Jon’s eyes slip back to Sansa’s.” - Jon and Sansa. What winter means in a world that teaches them to forget.
King Jon & Alayne ficlets 1, 2 by @vivilove-jonsa
“Jon would never harm me.” “How can you know that, sweetling?  Years have passed since you last saw one another.  You’re not the girl you were when you left Winterfell no more than he is the boy you knew…and I wasn’t aware you were ever that close to begin with.”
Buried under with my desires 2k by @captainbee89
Post resurrected Jon is sent to the vale to get an allegiance on Stannis' behalf. While there, he discovers a long lost part of his past, and maybe his future.
Art: Have we met before?, A familiar face, More beautiful than me? by @leulahart, Reflections of Aemon and Naerys, Should two bastards hookup or what? by @jonsawilldanceanon, The Bastard and the Lord Commander by @palominojacoby ,The Lord Commander and the bastard of the Vale, Alayne and Jon by @amunetmana, Alayne and Jon by @melinaillustrations, Alayne by @songofaurora If he calls me his daughter one more time... by @asoiastarks , Alayne Stone by knightmarescape
Edits: Charm Him. Entrance Him. Bewitch Him. Stone & Snow by @theirwinterfell, Stone was a bastard's name i'm alayne, i must remain alayne because she's stronger by @countessmaryarostova, Jon x Alayne by @paloma-nevada, Jon rides to the Vale by @lunaathorne , Oh it would be so sweet to see him by @whiteraven0001
Gifsets: May I wear your favor? by @alaynestcnes, The Brooding Bastards by @jonstarks, Jon x Alayne, Sansa loved to dance..., A Ghost wolf... by @thewindsofwolves, She had not thought of Jon in ages by @akarena, Oh it would be so sweet, Sansa Stark went up the mountain by @kitnjon, Alayne & Jon by @paloma-nevada , I am a bastard now just like him... But of course that could never be by @bericdondarrion , It sounds like a wolf by @fromtheboundlesssea , A ghost wolf by @kummittelemaanninja , Alayne Stone and Jon Snow parallels by @jonsansasource
Shout out to the post where the Jon x Alayne ship name was declared to be Jolayne (And I suppose that makes this medieval version of Jolene pertinent!)
PRE CANON - WESTERN - FAIRYTALE - REGENCY - LITTLE WOMEN - HOLIDAY - SEASON SIX - ANNE OF GREEN GABLES - THE GIRL IN GREY - FREE CITIES - FAIRYTALE PART II - POLITICAL MARRIAGE -SALTY TEENS - POST CANON - RICKON LIVES
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gayczennie · 1 month ago
Text
What’s Wrong Baby? (Full Length Vers.)
Felix x gn reader
Summary: Felix wakes up to you moaning in your sleep and decides to do something about it
Smut Warnings: Overstimulation, fingering, praise, squirting/ejaculation
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12:49 am
Felix flipped over to his left side unable to sleep. He normally found your softly breathing next to him to be super relaxing, but tonight he just couldn’t get comfortable enough to relax and drift off, and you were partly to blame. You wouldn’t stop tossing and turning, and the noise was keeping Felix awake. Why won’t y/n fucking stay still oh my god He thought to himself.
1:36 am
Felix had drifted off at last. But y/n shifted in their sleep yet again running into Felix in the process. Your body was now pressed firmly against Felix’s causing him to wake up begrudgingly. He turned to face you and wrap his arms around you, pulling you in. He hoped you’d relax into his arms and stay still for the rest of the night. Y/n seemed to have other plans though as they shifted even closer so that he could now feel your breath against his chest. “Felix.” You whispered in your sleep. Felix sighed and stroked your hair knowing you were still half asleep and it was going to be a looong night for him. “Felix!” You said again in a an unmistakeable whiny voice. “Y/n?” He asked, “What’s wrong baby”? He figured you must be having a bad dream, so he continued stroking your hair in an attempt to soothe you…that is until you let out a quiet moan. Felix’s hand froze. Did he hear that correctly? Was his baby moaning in their sleep?
He sat up and looked down at your cute little face all scrunched up while you whined once more with your eyes squeezed shut. Careful not to wake you just yet, he slowly pulled the blanket off your body taking notice of the way you bucked your hips lightly. “Y/n” he whispered. “Wake up baby.” Y/n stayed fast asleep. Growing impatient, Felix decided he couldn’t wait any longer for you. After all, you’d kept him up all night already. Taking matters into his own hands, he scooped you up and began to make his way toward your shared bathroom, earning a frightened yelp from you. Now finally awake, you asked “Felix? What’s going on? Why did you wake me up?”
“Be patient baby. You’ll see” he said, stepping into the shower and turning it on. He walked back over to you and placed his lips on yours taking your bottom lip into his mouth, causing you to moan once more. Slowly, he made his way down your neck marking you up until he made it to the only article of clothing you wore to bed (his boxers), and tugged them off of you seeing that you were already wet for him after your sex dream and the make out session, and causing his own member to grow making a rather obvious tent. After removing his own boxers, he scooped you up again placing his arm around your waist, and he continued making out with you as he slowly backed into the shower.
Apologies again for taking FOREVER to post the full fic 😅 I kinda didn’t know how to write smut before… but here we go! Smut starts here—>
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“Felix!” Is all you manage to get out before Felix has you slammed against the shower wall, water spraying you both as he does. His lips crash against yours and he slides his tongue into your mouth hungrily. Pulling away for a minute he comments “you taste so good love”. The water soaks his long blond locks and drips down his face, making him appear sexier by the second. He looks even better than he did in your dream.
“Lix” you moan out, “you look so fucking hot right now”. He responds by moving to suck on your neck again, pressing his thigh to your core to help you gain more pleasure. Your body responds immediately as you move to grind lightly against Felix’s thigh. The feeling it gives you makes you grow hornier and hornier until you can’t stand it. “Felix! Please. I need more” you say as you buck your hips in the air while he pulls away from your neck. “Whatever you need y/n” he replies, sinking to his knees.
Felix places a kiss against your core before beginning slow with a few kitten licks. You can barely stand it he’s being so slow and gentle. Attempting to gain more friction, you push your hips toward his face. “Be patient y/n” he scolds as he grabs your hips firmly to hold you in place. The veins in his forearms pop out slightly from the force behind his grip and the water continues dripping down his chin. All you can do is bite down on your lip to hold yourself back as Felix continues using his tongue painfully slow. Finally you feel his mouth speed up and he begins pushing you further into his mouth. He continues his assault with his lips and his tongue while practically growling around your core. You almost get whiplash with how quickly he’s changed the pace. It isn’t long before you’re warning him “Felix I’m so close. I’m gonna-“ your words are cut off when he suddenly rams his entire cock inside you causing you to finish all at once around his dick.
You scream out in pleasure… but Felix doesn’t let up at all. Instead he begins ramming into you hard and fast, using your cum as lube around his thick cock. “Felix! It’s too much” you whimper. “Aw is my baby a little overstimulated?” He growls out in his deep voice. “This is what you get for keeping me up all night. I’m gonna fuck you so good until you’re exhausted. How does that sound y/n?” Your body starts to go slightly limp in his grasp, but you manage to squeak out a quiet “yessir. I’ll do whatever you want Felix.” He smirks and manhandles you until your hands are pressed against the wall and your body is bent over so he can take you from behind. Your exhausted body is being held up by his strong arms, and you can’t help but feel turned on again by how dominant your boyfriend has suddenly become.
It isn’t long before you feel another orgasm building up. You can tell Felix is getting close too from the way his thrusts have grown more and more sloppy. Suddenly you feel the band snap inside you and you’re coming again around his hard cock. “Fuck y/n I can feel you squeezing my dick. It feels amaz-“ he gets cut off as his own orgasm hits him shortly after yours. He pulls out and grabs your chin, guiding you toward another passionate kiss. And before you can protest, his finger slides inside you. “Fuck!” You scream out, still feeling overwhelmed from your most recent orgasm. “Felix I don’t think I can cum again” you whine against his lips. “Think again baby. I bet you’ve got one more left in you.” You nod at him pathetically, knowing he won’t take no for an answer.
His lips wander all over your body, leaving marks on your neck. Then your chest. Then your thighs. Meanwhile his hand continues pumping in and out of you at a steady pace. Your legs shake as you try to hold yourself up, but you’re feeling more and more overstimulated. Seeing you struggle to stand, Felix moves back up to your lips and places another kiss before wrapping his free arm around your lower back for support. “Come for me baby. I can tell you’re getting tired” he whispers in your ear. Fuck. You feel your strongest orgasm washing over you and your vision begins to go black. You’re so lost in your own pleasure you don’t notice that you’ve just ejaculated all over Felix’s torso. You hear his giggle and snap out of it, finally opening your eyes. “That was amazing.” He says staring at your fluids all over his abs. His amusement then turns to concern as he looks at your tired and embarrassed face.
“Let’s get you cleaned up yeah?” You simply nod in response and let Felix take over. You continue to drift in and out of consciousness, but Felix holds you up and gently rinses you off in the shower before drying you off with a towel. He then carries you back to bed wrapped in his bath robe and tucks you in. “Goodnight y/n” he whispers. The last thing you remember is him placing a kiss to your forehead and telling you he loves you before you both doze off for real finally.
The end.
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