#what could be scary about a car?
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what would a statement regarding a car be about?
#tma#haven't listened to an episode in 48 hours and randomly had this thought#what do you think?#what could be scary about a car?#the magnus archives#tma podcast#tma shitpost#random thoughts
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soooo this was the worst week of my life bc we just found out someone might be trying to stalk us or scare us or smth…
#[𐐪— rheya talks. 𐑂]#MIGHT#but also timing is very suspicious#found a d*ed cat outside our patio door this morning#and it did not look like it went naturally#this week there was also a random car in our parking lot with money stuck in the door#which if you guys don’t know…#is usually a s*x tr******ing scheme#so we called the police#and then called them again just now about the cat#we could just be paranoid but three girls in their 20s living alone#i think it warrants paranoia#also just who knows what kinda crazy shit people are capable of#especially after this week and the election#idk#it’s scary
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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#just want to apologize to anyone who has tried to reach out lately#just like I texted my friend I’ll tell you guys the same#haven’t been talking to a lot of people lately tbh#pretty sure I’ve mentioned php a few times by now#monday was my last day#and I was feeling on top of the world on Monday#I don’t remember the last time I was so genuinely happy#figured it was the med change or something#so I was feeling pretty optimistic#I’m in between programs now#and today was not the best#not as bad as some of my days#but definitely not even near the day I had on Monday#I just wish I could feel that every single day#I’m working on it but still#waiting to start ‘adult day treatment’ and case management#and I think case management will help me find a place??? I’m not sure exactly but that’s kinda what I was getting#which honestly? I know I’ve bitched about how badly I need to move#but while I was in php I realized I don’t think I’ll truly be able to heal while I’m living here… and that’s a scary thought#idk there’s a lot more deeper things that I don’t wanna talk about#but the fact I don’t have space and I don’t feel safe and comfortable here is hard….#my ‘safe’ space was my car but now that I’m trying to quit smoking my car isn’t the best place for me#I’ve been kinda getting used to my room and I’m finally trying to move a few things around#(now that I have a little energy again)#it’s just……. my arachnophobia is KILLING me here#in the past week I don’t even know how many spiders I’ve seen and killed#they haven’t been crazy and I recognize I don’t live in Australia or places where the spiders are as big as fucking cars#I came home and I was in a good mood until I saw a spider in my room 🙃🙃🙃 tried to vacuum it but not sure if I got it……..#so guess im sleeping on the couch….. again…. but can’t help think if out here is any better…#shut up rosie
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hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now
#like i know i know im sad and hurt but in my heart even the worst breakup friendship or otherwise can kill my hope#like i know this is gods plan for me this is my arc but god it's getting worse and harder everyday#i thought nothing could be worse than yesterday but i hadn't lived today them#then*#i need to talk to someone so bad oh god sl yesterday i had the exam right#and like i don't even know what happened i thought i was going to fail even after giving my 2000% studying#for like 10 hours a day for 15 days for this one exam#and i was panicking and shivering so bad that my heart felt like it would fly out of my chest it was beating so hard#and so fast it didn't even beat like that when i climb too many stairs#and i tried to deep breathe but nothing worked it was so scary like yeah i get stressed sometimes#but this was another level so scary i was nauseous too#and then i clicked submit and i got 82!!!#when i was so sure i was gonna fail because i was only sure about 54 marks answers and the passing was 50#and i got really happy and relieved and then i realized. oh. i don't have anyone to tell#like yeah i told my dad and he was like oh cool ofcourse you did very good#because he doesn't GET it that im not smart anymore and 10th cbse is not an accurate measure of intelligence#he wasn't even happy or surprised he was like well nice obviously#and that's it. i didn't have anyone else to tell#granted i hadn't even told anyone i was giving the exam. i mean i say anyone as if im swimming in friends#only have one. two if u stretch. and i didn't say. cause like idk doesn't really seems like anyone cares#and aah stupid emotional me before the exam i was feeling sad and trying not to panic (??? why??) and CRY in the car because i was thinking#that how my mom always drops me to exam centres and we talk i play music and when im getting out she says all the best beta#and the beta. wow i typed this and immediately have tears in my eyes now. i don't even understand why but#idk i made it up to be a little tradition in my head and i really wanted to call my mom and say mom pls can u say all the best#to me now bc i think ill fuck it up and im really scared and maybe if u give your blessing it'd be okay. but then i thought how embarrassin#it wld be if i failed. bc we don't have any kind of rship my mom and me. and then when she heard i passed from dad she didn't even call me#or anything. thank god i didn't do all that drama but fucking hell. this is all just for me right nobody cares not my parents#and it's too difficult im crumbling under the pressuee but i have to grit my teeth and do it or ill never be able to get out of this house#and i know ill find people when i do get out. but in the meantime. please god ji just one person idc who girl boy friend or love ANYONE#ik it's weak & ik i shld be enough on my own. but pls i just CAN'T.they dont even have to put up with me they just have to care a bit
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parents be like "[tells their most anxious child a horrific gory gruesome tragic car accident story] hey why are you scared of driving though?"
#fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou#bluebird.txt#i FUCKING WONDER#I WONDER WHAT THE FUCK IS SCARY ABOUT DRIVING!!!! I FUCKING WONDER!!!!!! HEY REMEMBER THE STORy YOU TELL MY BROTHER#IN ORDER TO GET HIM 'TO BE MORE CAREFUL'#ABOUT THE HORRIFIC DECAPITATION CAR ACCIDENT!!#YEAH I FUCKJNG WONDER ITS A REAL FUCKING MYSTERY WHAT COULD POSSIBLY SCARE ME ABOUT DRIVING
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lol so update, i have FIVE BULGING DISCS in my neck. that means one (the one right under my skull) is normal and all the rest in my neck are fucked and are compressing the nerves in my spinal cord. this is awesome i love being alive and having a body yay yay yay
#she bork#i assumed it was a bulging disc since nothing showed up on the x-rays i got but i was expecting one. not fucking FIVE. crazy and insane and#very fucking sad. now i get to play fucking telephone chicken w the doctors office trying to get scheduled again so we can actually start#treating this shit bc if it goes on for too long and gets too bad or god forbid any of the discs herniate completely then it's gonna fuck up#my nerves and potentially lead to temporary paralysis or incontinence 🫶 and i don't even know what treatment looks like bc ik physical#therapy can heal one bulging disc but five is insane. esp somewhere as delicate and scary as the neck. i am in my EARLY TWENTIES and my body#is absolutely fucked it's so cool#hoping and praying no one stupid rear-ends me while my discs are fucked bc like genuinely if i get hit hard enough it's like lights out for#me lol like game over. they'll break my neck#furthermore i LOVE that every time i drive i worry about being rear-ended bc it could like paralyze me. i'm YOUNG. and i'm worried about#that every time i get in the car as like something very real that could happen to me. hooray i LUV owning a body 🫶🫶
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i'm sorry but it actually kills me that people think kendall telling roman he fucked it (which he did) is the worst thing he did last episode like bffr.
#like y'all can't be serious#what about him making rava cry and blocking her car like a psycho??#what about him blowing up at jess and giving her the “your nothing without me” speech#what about him threatening to take the kids ????#that's actually really fucking scary because he COULD#he is not some middle class man from ohio like he can paint rava as hysterical woman keeping him from his kids and then it's over#it doesn't matter that he's a deadbeat#it doesn't matter he nearly commited suicide in front of them#it doesn't matter that he is an addict#he's still a rich man#rava is a woman that clearly isn't a one percenter like she is fucked fr#unless she escapes to canada with the kids and changes her name#why do people not realize how scary it is ???#he wants CUSTODY like it's over#also him telling roman he fucked it is very mild compared to what the roys do to each other#roro made incest jokes about his future nephew/niece being his but you draw the line at kendall telling him the truth???#be fr#also kendall was never interested in being co-ceos with roro lmfaoo he only did that to ice shiv out#he has always wanted the crown but since he doesn't consider roro a threat (unlike shiv) he was fine with aligning himself with him#roman woobifyers have lost the plot#none of the roys are normal like they were raised to compete with each other#and it's not like kendall lied like mencken had no interest in blocking the deal anyway so kenrome fucked democracy for nothing#and it's partly roman's fault for getting played#and the crying didn't help either#kendall roy#succession#succesion hbo#fandomshit
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#personal vent incoming to just get off my chest don't be weird about it#i've known since i was a kid that my dad was overtly abusive but#just in the last 3-5 months i've learned my mom was and currently is almost just as abusive#but she's just covert about it instead#all of my adolescence was about surviving my dad who was so obviously a monster that he was almost easier to deal w in a way by comparison#this is. what an utter mind fuck#there's also like. no member of my family that i can turn to for help#bc they're either just as bad or my mother has ruined any relationship i might have w them over time#and i also fear being a burden#so i'm making a plan to get out but god it's overwhelming thinking about doing it all alone#and the thought that it might take years to actually get out or get healthy#she's kept me isolated from any support for so long#and im afraid any family that could possibly help wouldn't fully understand or they would be just as bad as her#and it feels impossible to progress at all bc im living w her and literally filed as her dependent on taxes#like ik this is gonna be the hardest thing to escape in my life and i've already escaped a lot#but this time i have to largely on my own#is v scary#and she's conditioned me to believe that i can't make any right decisions on my own without her#and that anything i do is always 'backwards'#makes it that much harder to make a clear plan#her work schedule is so inconsistent that it makes getting therapy online (since i don't have a license or car yet) nearly impossible#to do it without her or my brother listening#that i've just felt trapped for years#but. i can Tell i'm getting better now and rapidly. more than i've been for a v long time#so the process is just beginning and i think even she can tell#which is also dangerous#but ik i can do this its just the amount of time and effort and organizing behind her back and doing it alone thats v overwhelming#but anyway#we stay silly
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I just had to see this comment on that 'how anxious are you while driving' poll:
and tbh... haha shut your mouth :)
#thanks for the advice! guess I'll not leave the house ever again then :)#bitch I have anxiety. everything makes me a bit anxious sometimes. so yeah driving IS a bit scary sometimes.#but guess what? I can judge if I'm safe to drive or not! and I fucking am!#I've never even put the tiniest scratch in the car.#I drive better than plenty of people that I know and it's *because* it makes me a bit anxious sometimes#I pay attention to everything. I don't drive too fast I don't do stupid shit I'm a good driver#not perfect. definitely not.#but I know what I feel comfortable with and if I don't I don't fucking drive (like yeah when there's lots of snow I won't drive!)#sorry but I hate shit like this#if this is your opinion uuh don't talk to me I guess? because it's shitty as fuck#like?? why do you think you can judge that shit better than. I don't know. my driving instructor for example? that man saw me have a panic#attack in my second lesson and he was still the one who convinced me I could do it.#even the examiner thought I did great even though I was very anxious (because it's a fucking TEST. and it's expensive as fuck.)#so please fuck off :)#sorry I don't usually care about stupid shit like this but I had to see that on my dash and. nope it's too fucking stupid to ignore#they probably meant well. and I don't care! :) because I've heard shit like this my whole life and if I didn't do everything that makes me#anxious I couldn't do ANYTHING. yes. driving is serious. making sure everyone on the road isn't in danger is serious. and guess what? I'm#completely sure I take that into consideration more than 99% of drivers before they get into their cars :)#okay rant over I'm done I just. ugh it makes me mad.#personal
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cannot stop thinking about yungi youth mv
#like what if i throw up#it's about the trauma and the tiredness and picking yourself back up and moving on it's about friendship and home#they lost sight of each other when they were so focused on themselves and their own shit#the shot of mingi in front of the mirrors where the center one is himself and the rest are yunho with his back towards him like !!!!!!!!!!!!#their old coping mechanisms not working#mingi used to use music to shut out the world so he could be alone but now it brings him back to yunho but yunho isn't THEREEEEE#yunho picked up his lore!brother's guitar bc it had been his dream before he died and he was grieving him but here he's smashing it on the-#-wrecked car the thing that took his brother away from him#and u can SEE yunho dancing in the burning house even in the 2 different sets u see flames through the windows#and mingi is watching the cabin burn alone until yunho walks into frame and we can breathe bc he's no longer trapping himself in that house#AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE TURNS TO MINGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII#IT'S LIKE. WE'RE BOTH HERE. WE MADE IT AND WE'RE STILL TOGETHER.#gonna puke. idk if anything i've said makes sense it's after midnight and my head is a jumble they just got me feeling a lot#it's about the loneliness it's about the grief it's about watching ur past in third person it's about returning to yourself in the present#mingi i love u forever and ever. his lyrics have always hit the hardest like he Gets me#god this is just such a fever era song so ofc i'm obsessed like the lyrics in that series just fuckin HIT#they talk abt how hard and lonely and scary and confusing and tiring it is growing up and i start thrashing and clawing at the walls#how wonderful to not only be alive at the same time as atz but to be the same age & have similar experiences so their music feels like a hug#like. i'm not alone huh#ANYWAY. did not come here with the intention of saying anything in the tags i was just gonna post that picture but alas#kara can talk
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starting a new job tomorrow (monday) morning and am feeling about 72 (million) different things all at once because of it
#scared - so scared i will mess this up too#scared no one will like me#scared i will not be good at this#afraid i will hate the job#what if something happens to make me late - like witht he car tomorrow#just - it's new and there are so many unknowns and i don't like unknowns - they're just SCARY#and i don't want to eat lunch alone and i feel like i'm going to be and rn it's not a comfortable alone - it will be in time i know#but rught now it doesn't feel like alone by choice - it feels like alone by dint of ew no one wants to eat lunch with you - which sucks#and my aunts - or one of them anyway sent congratulations to me via one of the people i live with - who are speaking to them more than i am#the last time the aunts corresponded with me - it was via text abd they basically did tough love intervention style texting#which - they had every right to say how they felt - and i think they were right about some things#but it also felt like they were kicking a puppy when it was down - and well - i was the puppy being kicked#so when i got the job and one of the friends i live with asked if i would call my aunt(s0 to tell them i said no#i know they love me but i'm not interested in putting myself in a position to feel lambasted again#you saying you're proud now doesn't mean much any more - i needed you to say that you loved me then#that you knew i was messing uo but that you loved me regardless and you knew i could do better - not the yelling at via text that i got#you don't get both - i can't handle both. so yes fine i know you love me but it's going to be from a distance#and i love you too in some kind of way - one that right now is hurt and sad because i don't think you care how i feel at all#but i am trying to do right and do better - and i don't want to do things from spite but#i admit there is a part of me that when i get to better place - i want to be able to say - no i'm not contacting them bc idgaf#but i also know that's not likely to be true and isn't kind and not how i realy want to live and be#and wow that really turned into one hell of an emo tangent#anyway - i'm stopping myself now - i got some catharsis there and i need to get ready for bed so i won't be a total mess in the AM#if anyone has actually read this all please wish me luck - i could use it#and i know i will have to make the luck on my own anyway#i just keep thiking of- what if i fall? but oh my darling what if you fly?
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Here’s a thought: if men didn’t attack and rape us and oppress us for literally all of human history, if they didn’t mock our pain and masturbate to our torture, if they didn’t laugh with their buddies about the violence inflicted on women, if they stopped selling our bodies like commodities, if they just LEFT US ALONE FFS, then maybe, JUST MAYBE, we might have something nice to say about them.
Don’t you dare tell us women are responsible for mens self-confidence. The only person EVER responsible for your self-confidence is…..you’ll never believe this….your fucking SELF.
'women aren't responsible for male loneliness' sure but i think the fact that you in particular can't say a positive thing about a man and only publicly talk about how much they annoy you has a lot to do with the self-confidence issues that root at this loneliness
#holy SHIT#I was not expecting to be this mad first thing in the morning#but here we are#but guess what?#I’m gonna close my tabs and go make breakfast#and forget about this idiot#just like he could do with the nasty mean women online#guess what I CAN’T close the tab on?#men harassing me on the streets#men attacking me for saying no to them#men stalking me at night and following me to my car#men buying and selling women’s bodies#young girls being groomed#random women being punched on the street by men#domestic violence#child brides#honor killing#fgm#rape#wage inequality#workplace harassment#a lack of studies on how medicines interact with women’s bodies#the fact that safety features are only tested on male crash test dummies#the bias against women in technology#like…..dude#you can close the tab on the mean scary women online.#WE CANNOT EVER SHUT THE TABS ON WHAT MEN ARE CONSTANTLY FUCKING DOING TO US#FUCK
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My favorite quarry has been closed, which sucks because it's a great place to let my dog swim (her favorite thing to do). I finally remembered to look up what's going on. The city is spending 6mi to make it bougie. It's a fucking 100 year old quarry. It's purpose is for trashy people to go get wasted and jump off the 200ft cliff and die. They're completely paving over the entire thing and adding in, like, concessions and bathrooms and shit. And I'm normally ok with improvements. Bathrooms are definitely something I like to see at parks. But these aren't normal bathrooms. It's a bunch of single stalls that cost probably 20k each to build when you could also just build a normal toilet for 5k.... The whole project reeks of waste. Meanwhile, I'm out here driving on roads so piss poor that I've experienced better driving conditions in Mexico. I've driven on washed out country gravel roads that don't jostle me around so much. My car is so fucked from how bad the roads are. There's also a growing homeless problem because we're rated one of the least affordable cities in the nation due to TN having beef with paying much more than $13/hr but your average rent here being $1600/mo. But that's ok! We'll continue ignoring all that and spend a whole fuck ton improving a park (and by that I mean stripping it of everything that makes it cool). I can't do math to save my life, but I know for goddamn sure I'd do a hell of a lot more to actually improve shit than the argument for why this quarry needs to be destroyed. I'm just waiting for them to announce it's $10 a day to park, too.
#the cities are built for cars yet we're making them hostile to cars now#bad roads. paid parking literally everywhere.#the other quarry nearby is charging either $5 per day or $25 a month to park. my gsmnp pass is $40 annually. why so much for a city park???#we love to act like we're this nature lover's paradise then make it impossible for the poor to enjoy those nature spots#the place i went hiking today overlooks the city and there's talk they're paving that over too#there are too many homeless people who sleep there and it makes the city nervous#like. good. y'all's poor planning is why a lot of them are sleeping in the woods. i hope they gnaw your faces off.#city approves housing price increases. people become homeless. city complains about the homeless and makes their lives worse.#but no. we gotta have floating platforms and brick walkways and fancy toilets. that's a good cause#with 6mil you could purchase an old warehouse and turn it into stidio apartments for the homeless#you could pay people to fix the roads#you could purchase materials for teachers so kids aren't getting one of the worst educations in the country#but 200k in bathrooms that will probably get locked at 6pm so scary homeless don't use them. that's what we really need.#i hate it so much#useless spending is good when you're creating jobs#but this is a year long project. meaning it's not creating many - if any - jobs
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it's because the bear wouldn't kill me just for being a woman. the bear doesn't kill me for fun. the bear can be shouted at, and will leave me alone. the bear won't make a tiktok complaining about how i crossed to the other side of the path when i saw him coming. if a bear kills me, it's just being a bear: it cannot understand logic. it is not acting out of malice - just fear or hunger.
bell hooks once wrote about how porches might be the only outside space left for women - it is still the domain of the house while it is also outside-but-safe. when i am in the woods, i am in the bear's home, and he has a right to defend his property. outside spaces - anywhere at night, certain parks in the day - those are often implicitly "owned" by men. i cannot explain the feeling of knowing when you have entered a man's "territory." you walk into a place and just know you are in their space. you get a sick sense - you're in danger.
the other day a group of about 8 men were fooling around in the woods while i walked my dog. i had to go around, take the extra 3 miles just to avoid them. it's okay, i like walking. this wasn't even a #feminism moment. it was just a tuesday.
what a plain and easy question. only one of the situations is seen as a tragic accident. i would rather die and have a park bench erected in my honor rather than have my family questioned about why they let me, an adult, walk in the woods in the first place when i should really be at home in the kitchen.
i worked in retail and food service. i have had women say and do absolutely heinous and abusive things to me - not because i was a woman, but because i was there, and they were angry. the way men treated me when angry was different - it was because i was a woman. you can always feel the difference, how there's an undertone of i'd hurt you worse if i could get away with it. i keep seeing people try to cite stupid statistics. why is there always a strange rage whenever women agree on things? like men can argue their way out of our lived experiences? it isn't a buzzfeed quiz - which of these traumas are you? 10 super cute ways not to fear strange men.
i have actually (thrice!) seen a bear in the wild, by the way. i died each time, obviously, and am a ghost writing to you. (it was scary but completely and utterly fine). the second encounter was a black bear with her cub. she looked at me like - do we have to do this or are we good? my dog was busy sniffing a bush, completely nonreactive. i felt like i was in a sitcom: feminist poet reacts - does she actually mean she'd choose the bear? my only thought was - she's so beautiful. her paws are massive.
and there's a part of me that feels the rage spinning out in a corner. why do we have to come up with quippy little comments in order to teach men empathy. would you rather die in a car accident or due to a mugging? and would you rather your house burn down due to an electrical fire or due to arson? gee willikers - it's almost like we're human people, and want to risk the accident versus the intention.
i would rather my last thought be oh shit, a bear rather than i'm a person too. why doesn't that matter? why don't you care?
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bombiis no good very bad day
#vent#LOL#anyway i was forced to think about the future and got extremely hopelessly depressed and relasped#i honestly just have no clue what im gonna do or whats gonna happen to me#and the root cause: my paralyzing fear of cars LOL???#genuinely id rather just end my life than drive but no one seems to get how scary cars are to me#like theres other issues too but i just. i feel i could suffer through everything else#just driving is so intolerably scary that there just is no way forward#why does dumb shit make me like this
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