#you can close the tab on the mean scary women online.

[bilboyagathechickenfootedhobbit]

Here’s a thought: if men didn’t attack and rape us and oppress us for literally all of human history, if they didn’t mock our pain and masturbate to our torture, if they didn’t laugh with their buddies about the violence inflicted on women, if they stopped selling our bodies like commodities, if they just LEFT US ALONE FFS, then maybe, JUST MAYBE, we might have something nice to say about them.

Don’t you dare tell us women are responsible for mens self-confidence. The only person EVER responsible for your self-confidence is…..you’ll never believe this….your fucking SELF.

'women aren't responsible for male loneliness' sure but i think the fact that you in particular can't say a positive thing about a man and only publicly talk about how much they annoy you has a lot to do with the self-confidence issues that root at this loneliness

[wearevillaneve]

Killing Eve’s New Blood (or “Hi, My Name Is...”)

Typically, you can expect the new season of a TV show to say “Nice to meet ya” to new characters as it says “Smell ya later” to old familiars.  Still, the influx of so many newbies to the cast of Killing Eve looks like the survivors of the Titanic scrambling to climb in the last remaining lifeboat. 

Who ARE all these gals and guys? 

Roll call:  There’s Geraldine, Paul, Jaime, Bear, Dasha, Audrey, Mo, and Helene.  That’s eight, plus all the six new faces Villanelle met in Russia, though only maybe two of them survived her visit.  Did I forget anyone?  All of these newbies come with a smidgen of a backstory, but really we mostly have more questions about all these warm bodies than solid answers.

Is Paul just some touchy-feely asshole who is trying to exploit Carolyn’s distraction with Kenny’s untimely demise, to raise his own standing in MI6?   Is someone at The Bitter Pill may not be whom they are presenting themselves as (Audrey!) and they may be a sleeper agent for The Twelve (Audrey!) who was spying on Kenny’s investigation and was instructed to take him out (I see you, Audrey!)

She hasn’t been given much to do or say, but Geraldine is an enigma.  All we know of her is she’s Kenny’s big sister from the same mister, has never been mentioned before and is a major annoyance to Carolyn,  who has little tolerance and less affection for her flesh and blood. 

Carolyn has proven herself to be more than willing to callously throw anyone to the wolves if that’s what it takes to get the job done, but there’s something slightly off in her “relationship” with Geraldine.  One woman seems overly needy for the other’s attention (and perhaps forgiveness) while the other would be totally cool if she fucked off back to wherever Geraldine has holed up for the past two seasons.

Geraldine is....problematic.  She’s the best friend of The Final Girl in horror movies.  Not conventionally “pretty” and maybe not entirely straight, whom in the final 15 minutes turns out to be the sinister ghoul who masterminded the murder of all the other dead teenagers-on-a-stick to get to the conventionally pretty girl all to herself.   Those of y’all whom have seen High Tension know what I mean.. That’s Geraldine. 

Would Carolyn’s daughter go so far to have Mummy all to herself, that she would kill her own brother?  Can we say with certainty she wouldn’t when we don’t know the first thing about her? Who is Geraldine Stowton?  Where has she been?  What does she do for a living?  What does she really want from Carolyn?   One day as Carolyn comes home early,  Geraldine lies to her face about having no visitors

Why?   What is Geraldine’s deal anyhow?  Could it possibly include murder?  Sibling rivalry is a real thing. 

 While Konstantin, shadier than ever, remains the prime suspect in Kenny’s death, I’ve become much less confident in that belief.   While he is the consummate schemer,  in three seasons, we have yet to see Konstantin commit a murder himself.  Unless he held Kenny at gunpoint, he seems less than the ideal hitman to take him out.  He’s fine at sending Villanelle off to dead someone, but he steers clear from that sort of dirty business himself.

We know less than nothing of the majority of the new S3 characters. 1.  Audrey the Receptionist:  Does she have a thing for bathrooms/restrooms too?  I’d like to know what is going on under that uni-braid ,besides Audrey keeps showing up in places when Eve is there.  If she’s not crying she has to be spying and keeping tabs on Eve for The Twelve.

2.  Paul the officious little prig., who is both patronizing and solicitous to Carolyn.  Oh, and he wears a ring on the same hand and finger Anton did, the replacement handler Villanelle shot in the head within minutes of meeting his obnoxious butt.   I'm sure that's only a coincidence.  Paul is a sneaky so-and-so.  Carolyn, better keep an eye on this dude. 

3.  Jaime:   The hard-bitten, cynical, got-no-effs editor of The Bitter Pill, which may be some sort of version of Wikileaks or an online publication.  It’s hard to tell since you never see anybody actually publish a damn thing.   He also fancies Eve (quelle surprise) and now she’s holed up at his place.  Perhaps Jaime hopes he can chip through Eve’s walls of resistance by massive exposure in a controlled environment to his sparkling personality, devastating sex appeal, and bilious clouds of vape smoke. You are circling an airport you are never going to allowed to land on, brah.  Admire Eve’s hair up close, but it is never going to get personal.  Eve is off the knob. 

4.  Bear:  What we don’t know about this guy is a bottomless pit.  We don’t even know him by anything than his superhero name.  That’s fine.  Nobody is calling for a solo episode exploring How Bear Became Bear.

His only reason to draw breath is to provide Eve some tech support after Kenny’s swan dive to the street.   Might Bear be working for The Twelve?  Sure,  but then so could anyone at The Bitter Pill   Gaslighting Eve is the show’s longest-running gag on her and she keeps falling for it.  

Bear is a nerdy Incel who is afraid of women.  Particularly smelly ones who drop their underwear in his trash basket.   He should be happy as it is the closest he’s been to a woman’s underwear in a  long time.

5. Helene:  We know zip about this extremely intimidating representative of The Twelve except she is clearly so far above the heads of Dasha and Konstantin, they couldn’t breathe in the rarefied air lives in.    Helene looks like someone who hold meetings and totally run them, kick asses both metaphorically and physically while taking  no names and  giving no fucks.  She scares the shit out of Dasha and when she and Villanelle meet, it’s going to be fascinating to behold.   Following the events of “Are You From Pinner?” if Villanelle was manic before, the pendulum may have swung firmly in the opposite direction and she’s in a distracted and depressed funk.   Murdering your mama will do that, even if she was a callous, cold-hearted asshole.  

A Villanelle on her “a” game does not show up for an interview with a powerful member of the secret organization looking like she had bed head.   That blue suit is rocking, but alas, Villanelle still be shook from the events of the last two odd-numbered episodes.   It’s to be expected even the great ones have off-days.

It’s curious Helene declines Dasha’s eager offer to take Eve out.  Theoretically, it should be super easy, barely an inconvenience to knock off a heavy-drinking, bitter, and confused former MI5/6 agent who fucked up as badly as it possible to in Rome, and ended shot low in the back high in the shoulder by a horny Russian assassin. Dasha has shown she does NOT “still got it” and she doesn’t scare me. A strong breeze would blow away a lightweight like her.  Big talk.  Small game.  Dasha is past her prime and doesn’t post much of a threat. Helene does, and appears positioned to become a Big Bad who could stick around and  make things extremely scary for Villaneve. I like Helene and hope we get to see just how bad of a bad girl she really is.

6. Moe.   He’s a handsome devil, but Eve was right when she told him he might not be cut out for this line of work.  Carolyn’s supposed “bodyguard” crapped the bed in the when he froze as Villanelle almost blew away Carolyn while gunning down her true target.  Moe hasn’t been seen since.  We may see him again, but if we don’t it won’t be much of a shock.

7.  Dasha.   The supposed Big Bad Wolf who whacked her own boyfriend when he pissed her off and went on to train Villanelle to be her replacement master assassin of The Twelve.  Alas, she has the same problem as Konstantin and 70′s rock bands; she’s�� stayed on the stage too damn long, doesn’t dress age appropriately and is starting to show her age and increasing inefficiency.  The Rolling Stones and Dasha aren’t dead yet, but both are hanging on by their fingertips and need to hang it up because they are really embarrassing themselves .   

8.  Geraldine (again).  When Eve is on the roof to toss the cake,  there are two chairs and one is overturned.  Almost as though Kenny was sitting down and having a conversation with someone before things turned violent and fatal. That doesn't sound like Konstantin to me.  He sends Villanelle to take out targets. but we’ve never seen him kill anyone and why would he chat with Kenny before forcing him off the roof?  Did Geraldine commit fratricide?  Maybe. Did Kenny get taken out by his own sister?  Possibly.  Would she do such a terrible thing to  eliminate their mum’s clear favorite so she can have Carolyn all to herself?  Conceivably. Villanelle told us herself,  “Never trust people on their looks. I can see scary people a mile away - it's the good people you have to worry about” and to presume Geraldine is a good person is a risky proposition.  This is Killing Eve we’re talking about here. There are no innocents.