#what car should i buy quiz

[skyfallscotland]

I don’t know if this is weird, but I don’t have many friends and I am weird, admittedly so…yolo, but this is just a diary post really of all the things on my mind right now.

• The response on ink & mistletoe was really lovely and I’m especially grateful for it while I’m still having a rough time.

• I really wanted to write more this week because I wanted to finish off ink & mistletoe and Truth & Talon before Onyx Storm comes out, but I have a migraine again and I’ve just been so exhausted it’s not happening, which sucks.

• I did start a new book though—my first of 2025—Just For the Summer by Abby Jimenez. One of my resolutions for the new year is to read more actual books, so I’m off to a start at least. One thing that wigged me out though, it’s first person past-tense? What the fuck is that, why are we doing that? My brain does not like.

• Speaking of Onyx Storm, should I start posting my theories now as I write them, or just save it for one big post a few days before?

• I’m still incredibly bothered by not only the continuing trend of oh surprise another special edition with content not available to you! But also mostly the response from other people to it, mostly Americans, because no one else is saying “no one’s making you buy them all” or “having choices is a good thing” because uhh *checks notes* we don’t? We just pay twice the amount of money you do for made-in-a-sweatshop, falling apart crap with less features.

• Also, just as an aside so you all are ready, I’m fairly certain there’s a special edition of Iron Flame coming…probably with bonus content. Someone asked if she was going to do one because it just had plain edges and she replied with a winking face. I’m going to say in Feb/March, and with dragon edges to match OS & the original FW print run. Call me Cassandra, idk.

• My (undiagnosed, I guess) OCD is getting worse, so if anyone has any tips or tricks for that throw them my way because seeing a psychiatrist in this town is not only the price of a small car, but almost impossible. Everyone’s books are closed, because we’re all a fucking mess apparently idk. They did say they had someone who might find me and my eclectic collection of mental illnesses “interesting” though, so I at least get to send my referral through 🙃

• Lastly, I am once again calling for people to stop drowning. If you come to Australia, please understand how rips work. If you’re not a strong swimmer, don’t swim anywhere there aren’t lifeguards. You are not as safe as you think you are, I promise you. Almost every day there’s been another drowning death that’s been entirely preventable and it’s infuriating, half the time there are kids involved. Don’t put your kids at risk for fuck’s sake. View the below if you’re curious (or coming here). I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t spot them from front on, most people can’t unless they grew up on the beach, but again, if you can’t that’s why you shouldn’t swim anywhere help can’t get to you. 31 people drowned in four weeks is madness when there are over 600 patrolled beaches in this country. And people worry about the wildlife, good lord.

[bleachbleachbleach]

2025 Goals

@writerswhy made a wonderful list of goals for 2025, and invited me to make one as well. Theirs came with a really lovely moodboard graphic, which mine does not, but do feel encouraged to make a lovely moodboard as in the original, if you would like to do this, too! If you do, I'd love to read it! 🥰

Mine can be found below the cut:

Keep on spreadsheeting. I have a very elaborate spreadsheet that I run my life off of, so my primary goal is to simply keep doing that. It has categorized, tiered goals. It has color-coding. It has chore and fun banks that are organized daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and semi-annually. It is a king among spreadsheets. Majestic. Many of my goals are already incorporated (bicycling, gym, handwritten letters, etc.). So my 2025 goal is to commit to trying harder to have fewer yellows (failed tasks), even if it means just doing that thing for ten minutes that day.

Fall in Love with More Garbage Places. “Garbage places” meaning I know most people wouldn’t think they were cool or get why I love them so much, because they don’t have legible street cred. My top two for 2024 are definitely East Harbor State Park in Ohio and the Horseheads Mall. WHAT A MALL.

Hold Space for Organizing. My organizing is against migrant detention/deportation and the carceral state, and I live in the United States, so LOLLLL. 2025!!!! As it stands, the need already far outstrips any space you can give, often on a schedule my calendar-loving self does not prefer, so I should block out more/extra ahead of time. (ON THE SPREADSHEET.)

Give up cooking meat? I’m really bad at cooking meat, anyway, so this is no great loss. I’d have to think harder about protein sources, and that’s work I don’t want to do, but dealing with waste after buying meat is also a gigantic pain. I drive my trash to the county trash place, so it's in my best interest to make sure that my trash is relatively clean and locked down tight, so that in the 4-6 months it sits outside in the trash shed, it remains something I don’t mind putting inside my car. This has made me realize how much less trash I have, and how much cleaner it is, when no meat is involved.

Read the n+1 Books. I received 10 book recommendations from the n+1 BookMatch quiz I posted about a few weeks ago, so I’d like to try to read all of those!

Post 1 Million Words to AO3. This is a fairly artificial milestone, in that it’s not a marker of all the fanfic I’ve ever written, nor is it all the fanfic I’ve written since I made my AO3 account. But as an odometer reading, it’s still pretty cool. I also think that achieving this should not be terribly difficult, as I’ve already written most of the words that would get me there, as long as I commit to posting them before the end of 2025.

Enjoy fandom more. I want to be able to make friends and have conversations with them, and feel like I’m genuinely participating in something. Which does happen! just not in a proportion I would prefer, having now collected qualitative data about this over the past 6 months. Mostly, I think, “All right, how lonely am I willing to feel TODAY!” and then do it, and feel lonely. Because I like Bleach that much, I guess!!! and because I would still like to feel community around that. I don’t know what striving for this would mean, practically (unfortunately, we're going to post what we're going to post)—sending more asks? replying to tags? being here more? being here less? I want to feel like a human person who is being perceived as a human person interacting with other human people.

[the-state-of-georgia-official]

Stress-

Must cope by sending links and copypastas-

https://heywise.com/quiz/which-greek-god-are-you-descended-from/?hwscore=1

https://mangadex.org/title/c52565c9-d99a-4380-9dc8-67369d448eb7/mahou-shoujo-madoka-magica?order=asc

https://youtu.be/iLON_TjyRwY?si=-nONgalvixisLnXN

https://www.tumblr.com/crystalsandbubbletea/765810823901921280/fanfic-i-wrote-while-feeling-silly-in-art-class?source=share

What's up guys! It's Quandale Dingle here! (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE) I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE X2 speed). I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that.... I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD

That's it, I'm buying 50000 strands of garlic, 5000000000 things of salt, 5000000000000000 crucifixes, and 50000000000000000000000 mirrors-

Also, I'm sleeping with one eye open-

your car is smoking

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

#not my smile inc

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Postman, postman

Turned the entire neighborhood into beans

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he’ll turn your kidneys into kidney beans

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

You know I gets my pimpin' on

Oh shit ain't that your dude?

Yeah I be pimpin' all these hoes

Fool that was way back in highschool

You knows I get my pimp-

Wait,

Waitwaitwait wait wait wait

Svesta is that you- You, you, you, YOU?

What up Lucious?

That's PIMP, Lucious

Don't get it twisted 😤

MAN HE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANT-

Aahhhh AIN'T NO ONE TALKIN' TO YOU MACHO MAN-

Man you dumb wan wacka-off man I will

WAAAAAAHAAAAA AAAA-

Anon come back with a mega-copypasta

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

#not my smile inc

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

people in NASA be having orgy's whilst people in earth are stuck with puritans 🙁🙁🙁🙁😔😔😔😔😔😔

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

You know I gets my pimpin' on

Oh shit ain't that your dude?

Yeah I be pimpin' all these hoes

Fool that was way back in highschool

You knows I get my pimp-

Wait,

Waitwaitwait wait wait wait

Svesta is that you- You, you, you, YOU?

What up Lucious?

That's PIMP, Lucious

Don't get it twisted 😤

MAN HE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANT-

Aahhhh AIN'T NO ONE TALKIN' TO YOU MACHO MAN-

Man you dumb wan wacka-off man I will

WAAAAAAHAAAAA AAAA-

Postman, postman

Fucked the whole area

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he will fuck you to your kidneys

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

cool 👍

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (70)

*They’re our totally real, not fake secret babies!*

Coryo: Hey, Fest, have you seen Sejanus? He has been missing since I told him to get some paper towels for art class.

Festus: Did you check inside Dean Highbottom’s broom closet?

Coryo: Yeah, but he wasn’t there.

Festus: Under the floorboards?

Coryo: Still not there.

Festus: Inside your locker?

Coryo: He’s claustrophobic.

Festus: The food pantry?

Coryo: No, not yet, but-

Sejanus: *runs in crying* My love! My love, my Snow Angel, hug me!😭

Festus: Found him.

Coryo: Thanks.

Felix: Hey, Sej, can I ask for a gumdrop? I need some sugar to keep me awake for our next class.

Sejanus: Not now, Class Pres! I’m sad! I need my Coryo to give me my daily hug and kiss!

Felix: Okay.☹️

Coryo: Babe, where have you been?! I was worried sick about you getting stuck inside a dusty broom closet again!

Sejanus: *hugs Coryo* Urban told me that Jasper told him that Dennis told her that Diana told him that-

Coryo: Sejanus, my love, slow down! I don’t understand what you’re saying!

Sejanus: Professor Demigloss is going to give us another surprise quiz about the Districts again!

Coryo: Right now, right now?!

Sejanus: Yeah!😭

Felix: Is that even allowed?!

Livia: Surprise quiz my ass!

Iphigenia: Are we in trouble?

Hilarius: Should I call the National Security or something?

Apollo: Please be fake news! Please be fake news!😣🙏

Gaius: Lol. Demi-Dementia-Gloss really is losing his mind.

Iphigenia: Breen, that’s mean.

Gaius: But was I lying?

Iphigenia: No. You’re right.😔

Clemensia: Whatever. I’m reviewing.

Coryo: Babe, are you 100 percent sure about what you’ve heard from Urban?

Sejanus: Stupid Ban Ban doesn’t know how to lie when he’s super angry about something. Anderson also told me about it.

Felix: Where’s Andie anyway?

Sejanus: He’s currently crawling in a vent with his stolen goods.

Coryo: But you do know that Professor Demigloss has a severe case of dementia, right?

Sejanus: I wish I wasn’t, my love! But Andie accidentally overheard the old man mumbling to himself and Mr. Fluffy Feet that he’ll give our class a surprise quiz today!

Festus: Why?! Why us?! What did we do to deserve this?!

Sejanus: We didn’t attend his birthday party last week!

Festus: We were never invited to his stupid party in the first place!

Sejanus: I know!😭

Felix: I was, but I didn’t go.

Coryo: Class Pres, you’re a Ravinstill. You’re always invited.

Felix: I know.😔

Apollo: Coryo, weren’t you invited to his birthday party as well?

Coryo: Yes, I was, but Sejanus and I were too busy-

Sejanus: F*cking. We were too busy kissing and fu-

Clemensia: We know, Plinth! You don’t have to repeat yourself.

Palmyra: How old is Mr. Glossy anyway?

Sejanus: A hundred? I’m not sure.

Gaius: Who’s Mr. Fluffy Feet?

Apollo: Oh, that’s just Demi Dementia’s precious teddy bear.

Gaius: That’s kinda cute.

Apollo: It’s a spy cam teddy bear.

Gaius: Nevermind. That’s creepy.

Hilarius: My father has one too!

Felix: We know, Hilari. We know.

Hilarius: And my mother also bought a hundred of-

Clemensia: We don’t want to know about what your freaky mother bought last week, Hilari!

Coryo: How did Andie even manage to eavesdrop on that mumbling old man?

Sejanus: He was hiding behind the curtains.

Coryo: Let me guess, he was trying to steal the professor’s car keys again.

Sejanus: And wallet.

Festus: Nice! Now we can buy ice cream and popcorn for our weekly movie night!

Clemensia: You can’t spend our professor’s money, Creed! You don’t have the right!

Festus: It’s our money now.

Clemensia: No, it’s not!

Festus: Clemmie, according to the laws of ✨finders keepers✨-

Clemensia: That’s not a real law!

Festus: It’s our money!

Iphigenia: Free money!

Hilarius: I love money.

Coryo: I need money.

Sejanus: By the way, Andie also stole Mr. Fluffy Feet before he escaped through the vents.

Felix: Just because?

Sejanus: just because he can.

Coryo: Of course he did.

Palmyra: Good job, Anderson!☺️

Gaius: That’s great! Now we have our very own spy cam teddy bear!

Hilarius: Yo, we should hide it inside Highbottom’s office!

Gaius: Yeah! Let’s do it!

Clemensia: That’s illegal!

Hilarius: What do you mean by illegal? My crazy mother does it all the time.

Clemensia: Your mother is a freak!

Hilarius: My father does it too!

Clemensia: Your creepy old man should be in jail right now!

Hilarius: But-

Clemensia: No! Not another word from you, Heavensbee!

Hilarius: Hilari is sad now.😢

Clemensia: Cry harder!

Gaius: Then we shall hide it inside Professor Click’s car instead.

Clemensia: That’s still a crime!

Gaius: Then we shall hide it inside Monster Gaul’s lab!

Coryo: That’s a good idea.

Sejanus: I concur! Let’s do it.

Clemensia: Ugh. This is why I’m the only “normal” person in this group.

Festus: But seriously?! A surprise quiz before lunch?!

Coryo: Maybe it’s going to be super easy? Professor Demigloss did taught us about the Districts and their respective industries before.

Sejanus: And I’m from District 2!😀

Clemensia: Obviously.🙄

Festus: But I’m not ready! I haven’t even studied!

Apollo: Bestie, you don’t study.

Festus: Sometimes! Well, once or twice a month. I’m not sure.

Felix: Really?😒

Festus: Don’t judge me! My pet rats are my only study buddies at home!

Coryo: What is District 4’s major industry?

Festus: Catfishing. Duh.

Coryo: Right. We’re doomed.

Festus: Then ask me another question!

Coryo: Fine. What’s District 12’s major industry?

Festus: Pole dancing!

Clemensia: It’s coal mining, you fool!

Felix: You’re killing us, Creed. You’re really killing us.😩

Festus: I’m doing my best!

Clemensia: Your so called “best” is currently lying dead in the gutter!

Festus: Why are you so mean to poor Festus Creed today?! What did I do?!😭

Coryo: What’s the main export of District 1?

Festus: Chocolate coins!

Felix: You’re hopeless.😔

Festus: Then give me something obvious!

Sejanus: Here’s an easy one! What is District 2 known for?

Festus: Throwing bread to the dead!

Clemensia: That’s incorrect-

Sejanus: That’s right! How did you know, bro?

Festus: Coryo told me.

Coryo: I did.

Sejanus: My Snow Bae is the best and the brightest!😍

Coryo: Of course I am.

Clemensia: I’m surrounded by f*ckin’ idiots.

Felix: Am I-

Clemensia: Yes, Class Pres. Yes, you are.

Felix: *starts crying* Somebody give me a tissue! I’m allergic to harsh criticism!😭

Prof.Demigloss: *walks in* Good morning, class!

Everyone: *stands up* Good morning, Professor Demigloss!

Prof.Demigloss: I have a great surprise for you brats today!😊

Felix: Is it kleenex?

Palmyra: Are you pregnant?

Clemensia: Monty, please stop saying such nonsense.

Palmyra: Are we having a super secret baby shower?😀

Coryo: No, we’re not.

Palmyra: Oh, Panem! Coryo, don’t tell me!

Coryo: Tell you what?

Palmyra: Are you pregnant with Strabo Plinth’s baby right now?!

Coryo: Pregnant with who?!

Palymra: *suddenly touches Coryo’s stomach* Oh, Snowy, I’m so happy for you! You’re pregnant!

Festus: Congratulations, bro.

Gaius: Yey! A new baby!

Palmyra: Strabo’s baby.☺️

Sejanus: What the heck, Monty! What is wrong with you?! My Coryo, my

love, my Snow Angel is currently pregnant with my baby!

Palmyra: Highbottom’s baby?

Sejanus: My baby!

Coryo: Sej, Babe, I’m not-

Sejanus: *touches Coryo’s stomach as well* Oh, Coryo, my love, this is our baby, right?! Our baby!😫

Coryo: Why are we suddenly talking about me being pregnant?! I’m too poor to be pregnant right now!

Hilarius: Yeah! What if I’m the one who’s pregnant with Mr. Plinth’s secret baby?! What now?!

Coryo: Shut up, Hilari! You’re not pregnant!

Hilarius: Fine! We’re both pregnant with Strabo Plinth’s secret baby!

Coryo: What?! I don’t want to share a baby daddy with you!

Hilarius: Why not? It’s going to be fun for the whole family.

Coryo: Because Sejanus is my baby daddy, you fool!

Sejanus: So is my Snow Bae really pregnant with my baby?😍

Coryo: I’m not pregnant!

Hilarius: We’re both pregnant.

Gaius: Does that mean that Strabo Plinth will be forced to pay child support to both homeless Hilari, poor Coryo, and their “totally real, not fake” secret babies?

Coryo: Yes, but I’m not pregnant!

Apollo: Not yet.

Coryo: Apollo!

Apollo: I’m just telling the truth.

Prof.Demigloss: Well, congratulations on your first pregnancy, Mr. Snow. I hope to see you and your husband holding your secret baby soon.😊

Coryo: I’m not- F*ck it. Whatever. I’m pregnant now.

Sejanus: 23 more to go!🥳

Prof.Demigloss: Good for you, Mr. Plinth. May your bloodline never end. However, we will be having a surprise quiz today. So surprise!🥳

Hilarius: Can I just claim to be pregnant with Strabo Plinth’s baby? I need some fast cash right now.

Sejanus: Sure. Go ahead. I don’t care. Welcome to the family.

Coryo: Hilari, you’re a virgin.

Hilarius: So?

Prof.Demigloss: Ah! A miracle! Congratulations on your first pregnancy as well, Mr. Heavensbee.

Hilarius: A miracle indeed!

Festus: Sir, I have a question!

Prof.Demigloss: Who are you again?

Festus: I’m Festus Creed and I’m not pregnant.

Prof.Demigloss: Ah! The professional dumpster diver!

Festus: That’s correct!

Prof.Demigloss: So what’s your question, Mr. Creed?

Festus: What is District 12’s major industry?

Prof.Demigloss: Pole dancing.

Coryo: What the heck?!

Festus: I knew it!

Prof.Demigloss: Great! Let’s begin!

Gaius: Wait! I have a question too!

Prof.Demigloss: Ah! The zoo keeper!

Gaius: Sir, what is District 4 known for?

Prof.Demigloss: Catfishing.

Clemensia: I’m going home.

Coryo: Clemmie, don’t leave!

Clemensia: Congratulations on your first pregnancy, Bestie.

Coryo: Thanks.

Clemensia: But I’m going home!

Coryo: Clemmie, stay! I’m pregnant!

Hilarius: We’re both pregnant!

Sejanus: Soon, my love. Soon.😍

Felix: But what if I’m the one who’s pregnant?!😭

Livia: Aren’t you a virgin too?

Felix: Oh, Panem, help me! I’m a virgin, 17, and pregnant!😩

Androcles: *suddenly falls out of the vents* Yo, Felix, is it mine?

*Meanwhile, in Highbottom’s office*

Prof.Sickle: Hey, Cassy.

Drunk!Casca: What?

Prof.Sickle: I heard that Mr. Snow is currently pregnant with Mr. Plinth’s baby.

Drunk!Casca: My gorgeous Crassus Xanthos Snow is pregnant with my baby?! That’s great! That’s wonderful! I’m telling Capitol News!

Prof.Sickle: I’m just kidding-

Drunk!Casca: *is on the phone with Lucky Flickerman* Hello?! Is this Capitol News?! Yes, this is Dean Highbottom speaking. No, I’m not drunk. My darling Crassus and I are having a baby! A real baby! Yes, it’s mine- what do you mean by delusional? I’m not delusional!😫

[willalove75]

Fem!reader trying to figure out Rebecca’s love language by trying the five (doesn’t matter which one you choose to make her main love language) 💕

Love this idea!! Thanks for the request! 💕

"So, are you and Rebecca getting more serious?" Keeley asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know, I don't think so." You say as you scroll on your phone, the two of you having lunch in her new office.

"Why not?! You two have been together for months!"

You toss your phone onto the couch.

"Ugh, I don't know, I mean we get on really well, but I feel like there's something missing, but not like something's missing where it doesn't exist, I don't know." You sigh and lay back on the couch, cradling a pillow.

"Do you want it to get more serious? Or are you cool with this casual thing you've got going on?"

"I don't know, I mean, yes I'd love to get more serious with her, but, I also don't want to ruin what we have, you know? I haven't been able to connect with her on that deeper level yet I think."

"Well I've know you've both gone deeper in other ways!" She laughs.

"Keeley!!" You throw a pillow at her and laugh. "I'm serious! I really like her and I really want this to work." You bury your face into the pillow in your lap.

"Well do you know what her love language is?" She asks, you look up at her.

"No? I don't even know what that is."

"WHAT?! Oh my god come here we're gonna find out what yours is." She runs around to her desk and pulls up some online quiz.

You sit at her desk chair and look at her confused. Keeley explains the five love languages, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch and gifts.

"Huh." You say and take the test, you immediately get your results and find out what yours are:

Words of Affirmation, 2. Physical Touch, 3. Quality Time, 4. Acts of Service, 5. Gifts.

"Yeah that makes sense." Keeley says looking at your results.

"I guess so, but how do I find out what hers are? Just make her take this quiz?"

"No! That's not romantic, you should try to figure them out, just go down the list and try them and see which one she responds best to!"

"If you say so." You say looking at the list. You're definitely nervous but wiling to try.

You head back to the office and think of what her love language might be. "Well, I think she likes getting things, so maybe gifts?" You think to yourself. You're going on a date with her later tonight so you pick up some flowers and head back to work.

You get home, get ready for you date and leave. You get to the restaurant before Rebecca and you decide to wait outside for her. Her car pulls up and she hands her keys to the valet and sees you.

"There you are." She says with a smile.

She walks up to you and looks down at the flowers.

"What are those?" She asks with a smile.

"I got you flowers," you say sheepishly. "I saw them and thought they were pretty and I decided to get them for you."

"Aw." She says and gives you a kiss. "Thank you."

You both head inside, sit down at the table and order.

"So, do you like getting gifts?" You ask, unsure if she really liked it or was just being nice.

She pauses for a moment. "Yeah, I mean I don't dislike it." She says but quickly follows up with "but I love the flowers, they're beautiful."

"I'm glad." You say with a smile.

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason, when I was buying them I realized I wasn't even sure if you liked getting stuff so I figured I'd ask." You say and take a sip of wine.

"Don't get me wrong, I like it, but Rupert would love bomb me with all of these lavish, expensive things all the time and after a while it stopped being special, especially since he would do it every time I thought he was cheating on me, which he was, but used that as a way to distract me. It got quite old fast."

"Aw, yeah that definitely takes the fun out of it." You say.

"Yeah, a bit."

Gifts were out, you decide to try out acts of service next.

A few weeks later you have your next date, Rebecca invites you over her house for dinner and you offer to cook. When dinner is finished she goes to clean the table.

"That was amazing, thank you so much for cooking." She says.

"Of course! I'm glad you liked it. Here, let me get that." You say getting up.

"No it's okay," she says with a smile.

"No really, it's okay I don't mind."

"But you cooked!"

"I know,"

"How about we clean up together then?" She suggests.

Knowing you won't win you agree. "Okay, fine."

There goes acts of service. Two down, three left.

You load the dishwasher as you look over at her wiping down the table. You lean against the counter and just watch her for a minute. Even doing something so mundane, she looks beautiful. You really, really care about her and you want to take this to the next level. She looks over and catches you staring at her.

"What are you looking at?" She says with a smile.

"Nothing, I just- it's crazy how beautiful you look doing literally everything."

She smiles and walks over to you and puts her hands on your hips and kisses you. You look into her eyes for a minute and get lost in them.

"What?" She says.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about how lucky I am that I have you in my life. You're amazing."

Her lips curl into a smile and she puts her hands on your face and pulls you in for a kiss.

Words of affirmation definitely works, but you're not sure if that's her main love language. You're getting restless so you try and combine the last two.

"Wanna put on comfy clothes and watch a movie?" You ask.

"I would love to." She says with a smile.

You both change and she meets you on the couch.

"What do you want to watch? A horror movie?" She asks.

"Absolutely not." You say with a laugh.

"Right, I forgot you were terribly boring." She says teasing you.

You scoff and go to tickle her. "I am not!"

"No no no!!" She says laughing and grabs your hands after you're able to get a few pokes in. "I fucking hate that."

"Right, I forgot you were terribly boring." You say imitating her with a laugh.

She laughs and gives you a playful scowl and grabs the remote. You come across a rom-com you both haven't seen and decide to watch it. She lays across the couch and drapes her legs over your lap, you put your hand on her calf and gently stroke it with your thumb.

"Do you want a foot rub, or a backrub or something?" You ask.

She sits up and pauses the movie and looks at you.

"You have been so weird lately. What is going on?"

"Ugh," you rest your head on her knee as it's bent over your legs. You look up at her.

"What?" She asks, looking at you with a hint of concern in her eyes.

"A few weeks ago I was talking to Keeley and she told me about the five love languages, and I had never heard about them and I realized I didn't know what yours were so she told me to try and figure it out because it was more romantic than just asking you."

"Seven."

"What?"

"There are actually seven love languages." She says.

"What!? What are the other two?!"

"Expression of affection and love is one of them. The other, which happens to be mine, is communication. Those two might not be official ones actually. But I liked them so I count them."

"Shit!! So I was never gonna get it then."

She laughs as she adjusts and sits back on her heels facing you.

"Afraid not." She says with a smile.

"What even is the communication love language?!"

"Just simple communication, talking to one another, being honest, explaining what you're experiencing or feeling, telling your partner what your needs are, things like that. I lacked that so much in my last relationship, I don't think I can ever be with someone again without being able to really communicate with each other. But if we're talking about the traditional five, I think mine is words of affirmation."

"Well then," you say grabbing her hand. "I'm sorry that I didn't communicate that I was trying to find out your love languages."

Her eyes sparkle when you say that to her, you can tell that just acknowledging her love language meant so much to her.

"So why were you and Keeley talking about love languages anyway?"

You chuckle and your cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"She had asked if we were getting more serious and I told her I really wanted to, but I felt like there was a piece missing," you see her eyes get a little sad and you grab her hand. "And I said it's not like there's something missing that doesn't exist between us, more like something that was an obstacle, that stopped us from going there. I don't know how to describe it, but I know it's there, I just didn't know how to get there." You furrow your brows, not being able to correctly express your thoughts. "I don't know if any of that made sense."

You see her relax a little and she studies your face.

"Do you want to get more serious?"

You take a deep breath, fearful that she'll reject the idea.

"Yes. I do, but I'm so afraid of fucking up what we have, because I really, really like what we have." You pause and sheepishly look at her. "But I also really want to call you my girlfriend, and be able to be affectionate with each other in public, around our friends. Just, be a real couple I guess."

She continues to study your face as she smiles.

"Do you want to get more serious?" You cautiously ask.

"I would like that very much."

"Really?" You look deep into her eyes.

Rebecca nods her head and cups your face in her hands and kisses you. Her tongue slides into your mouth and your tongue dances around hers. She climbs into your lap and you slide one hand up to the back of her neck and hold onto her waist with the other as she holds your face in her hands. The kiss continues and eventually your lips slowly part. You study each others faces for a moment before Rebecca breaks the silence.

"I never asked, what's your love language?"

"Words of affirmation, physical touch," You pause and try to remember the rest. "Quality time, acts of service and gifts. What were the rest of yours? The normal five." You say with a laugh.

"Words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service," She pauses to think. "Physical touch and gifts."

You two stare into each others eyes for a moment and smile, taking in every detail of the others face.

"I can't imagine my life without you." Rebecca says as she looks into your eyes.

You feel your heart soar at her words, you look back into her eyes with a smile on your face.

"It's a little scary." She says.

The happiness on your face melts into worry.

"I already know I can very easily fall in love with you. But you're worth it."

You feel your eyes get glossy at her words. Every fear you had about losing what you have with her vanishes.

"I already am, and I wouldn't want to fall in love with anyone else."

She's touched by your words, even a little surprised, but very happy. She smiles at you and you both pull each other closer for another kiss. After a few minutes of making out you part and cuddle into each other. She buries her face into your neck and you lay your head on hers. Your arms wrapped around her as she sits in your lap. You're distracted by the tv automatically shutting off since the movie was paused for so long.

"So much for the movie." You say with a giggle.

"Oh well," she says. "I'd much rather do this anyway."

"Me too."

[wyntereyez]

Here we go, Part One of my scream into the void. Here I'm going to talk about my mother

Some of you may remember my posts about how two birthdays went by without her saying anything, and how when she did finally bother to text a month after that second birthday, there was no acknowledgement of my birthday or her silence, and how I agonized over whether I should respond (and eventually chose not to.)

I don't regret this.

My mom left our family when I was thirteen. Before then, I was a 'mama's girl,' though damned if I know why. Probably because she was the parent I saw more, I guess.

I want to say those first thirteen years weren't awful. But there are things I remember that stick with me that weren't good.

She wasn't much of a cook. So I grew up on frozen, processed food, and shockingly, my health reflected that. And, oh, did she make me feel like shit about my weight. She constantly bemoaned how hard it was to buy things for me because my waist was so big and I was so short (this was, btw, before a growth spurt). She refused to buy jeans for me because she couldn't find any that fit my proportions. It was fucking YEARS before I finally bought my first pair of jeans as an adult because I knew I was too fat for them. So all through school, I wore stretch pants, and was constantly made fun of for them.

Then there's my hair. She didn't care to do anything with my hair. She convinced me I wanted it long, then never maintained it, just put it in a ponytail, which did me no favors. My hair was seldom cut because it stopped growing past a certain length, and was always limp and stringy and oily. There was one time - ONE - where she did something with my hair - she got me a perm when I was eleven. It was an awful experience, and taking care of it was miserable and I hated those picks needed to constantly smooth out the perpetual tangles. It made me hate doing anything with my hair.

It should not have taken over twenty years for me to realize I had curly hair that was actually really nice and easy to care for when anyone bothered.

My mom taught me that I was fat and ugly and there was nothing I could do about it.

Then she left us. She got a job where she worked third shift, and slept pretty much all day and ignored us. The only time we really saw her was when she was getting ready for work. She'd spend hours doing her make-up - for a factory job - blasting Bonnie Raitt's 'Something to Talk About' on perpetual repeat. To this day I absolutely HATE that song. HATE IT.

She'd met a guy on third shift, got caught cheating, and just left us.

They had just bought a house and a second vehicle together because they had two steady incomes. Now she wanted to leave us struggling.

My Dad gave her this option: He'd leave, she could have the house, the car, and us. She'd have everything, along with child support, and he'd get a couch at his brother's house.

She didn't want us.

So she left, taking only the family car, leaving us with a tiny Chevy S-10 pickup for a family of four. She didn't want shared custody. She didn't want to pay child support. She wanted nothing to do with us.

She then proceeded to make life Hell for us. While she did, with great reluctance, occasionally let us visit, it was rare. She also did everything she could to make sure we didn't have a support network. My Dad's side of the family is terrible - I will talk about them much later - and they wouldn't help. My Mom's side of the family cared for us, but my Mom did everything in her power to make sure we couldn't go to them for help. She knew her parents liked my Dad far more than her new guy, so she was going to make sure they wouldn't have any kind of relationship with my Dad.

She also wanted us to be spies. She had this idea that my Dad would be her safety net if the new guy didn't work out, so she made damn sure my Dad couldn't meet anyone or have any kind of life. And she wanted us to be her spies; she would quiz us about what Dad was up to, and persuade us to tell her everything, then she would proceed to leave nasty phone calls or messages on his bathroom mirror, because she'd kept a key to the house.

Meanwhile, she continued to be the world's worst mother. She had my two half-siblings, and we had to watch them get all the attention we never got, because unlike us, they were her children. She'd occasionally buy clothing, usually used stuff she found at yard sales that didn't fit (she seemed to think I was her size, despite me being taller and skinnier than her). Once she bought me a maternity outfit because she knew that would be the only thing that would fit me.

She also basically destroyed my past. Remember my despair that I couldn't find any medical records? She took a lot of things, including pretty much every baby picture of me, and left them in her parents' garage, which was exposed to the elements and eventually flooded and collapsed. She casually destroyed it and just doesn't care.

So, it's been years of barely tolerating my mother, occasionally trying to have some kind of relationship with her and wondering why I bother.

Now, she did once, not long after they divorced, ask if I wanted to live with her. Just me, not my siblings. I refused. I didn't want to live with a strange man and be second fiddle to my half siblings. And it would have gone very, very badly. I would have been living with a heavy smoker with ultra-conservative views whose fire-and-brimstone mother was the kind of person to get involved in everything. I would have received no health care, never been able to go anywhere, would have had to transfer to a school with the worst reputation in the area, probably would have had to help care for my half siblings, would not have new clothes, would not have gone to college, and would probably have the worst flea infestation because she doesn't really clean, either.

And the last time I saw her? She got into this anti-vaxx rant that was somehow also horrifically racist, and all I could think was, "Yeah, I'm never going to see you again."

She's just...UGH.

[hawaii-official]

Stress-

Must cope by sending you copypasta and website links-

https://mangadex.org/title/c52565c9-d99a-4380-9dc8-67369d448eb7/mahou-shoujo-madoka-magica?order=asc

https://heywise.com/quiz/which-greek-god-are-you-descended-from/?hwscore=1

What's up guys! It's Quandale Dingle here! (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE) I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE X2 speed). I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that.... I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD

That's it, I'm buying 50000 strands of garlic, 5000000000 things of salt, 5000000000000000 crucifixes, and 50000000000000000000000 mirrors-

Also, I'm sleeping with one eye open-

https://www.tumblr.com/crystalsandbubbletea/765810823901921280/fanfic-i-wrote-while-feeling-silly-in-art-class?source=share

your car is smoking

Have you ever been slapped by a wet spaghetti noodle because your girlfriend has a twin sister so you got confused and fucked her dad?

Well that's how it feels to drive a Ford F-250

Postman, postman

Fucked the whole area

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he will fuck you to your kidneys

Anon come back with a mega-copypasta

You know I gets my pimpin' on

Oh shit ain't that your dude?

Yeah I be pimpin' all these hoes

Fool that was way back in highschool

You knows I get my pimp-

Wait,

Waitwaitwait wait wait wait

Svesta is that you- You, you, you, YOU?

What up Lucious?

That's PIMP, Lucious

Don't get it twisted 😤

MAN HE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANT-

Aahhhh AIN'T NO ONE TALKIN' TO YOU MACHO MAN-

Man you dumb wan wacka-off man I will

WAAAAAAHAAAAA AAAA-

https://youtu.be/iLON_TjyRwY?si=-nONgalvixisLnXN

REEHEHEHEHEHE

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

people in NASA be having orgy's whilst people in earth are stuck with puritans 🙁🙁🙁🙁😔😔😔😔😔😔

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

You know I gets my pimpin' on

Oh shit ain't that your dude?

Yeah I be pimpin' all these hoes

Fool that was way back in highschool

You knows I get my pimp-

Wait,

Waitwaitwait wait wait wait

Svesta is that you- You, you, you, YOU?

What up Lucious?

That's PIMP, Lucious

Don't get it twisted 😤

MAN HE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANT-

Aahhhh AIN'T NO ONE TALKIN' TO YOU MACHO MAN-

Man you dumb wan wacka-off man I will

WAAAAAAHAAAAA AAAA-

Postman, postman

Fucked the whole area

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he will fuck you to your kidneys

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

#not my smile inc

#not my smile inc

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Postman, postman

Turned the entire neighborhood into beans

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he’ll turn your kidneys into kidney beans

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

AH WHY IS IT SO LONG

[truly-pluto]

What's up guys! It's Quandale Dingle here! (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE) I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE X2 speed). I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that.... I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD

https://mangadex.org/title/c52565c9-d99a-4380-9dc8-67369d448eb7/mahou-shoujo-madoka-magica?order=asc

https://heywise.com/quiz/which-greek-god-are-you-descended-from/?hwscore=1

That's it, I'm buying 50000 strands of garlic, 5000000000 things of salt, 5000000000000000 crucifixes, and 50000000000000000000000 mirrors-

Also, I'm sleeping with one eye open-

https://www.tumblr.com/crystalsandbubbletea/765810823901921280/fanfic-i-wrote-while-feeling-silly-in-art-class?source=share

Have you ever been slapped by a wet spaghetti noodle because your girlfriend has a twin sister so you got confused and fucked her dad?

Well that's how it feels to drive a Ford F-250

your car is smoking

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

Postman, postman

Fucked the whole area

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he will fuck you to your kidneys

#not my smile inc

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Postman, postman

Turned the entire neighborhood into beans

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he’ll turn your kidneys into kidney beans

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

people in NASA be having orgy's whilst people in earth are stuck with puritans 🙁🙁🙁🙁😔😔😔😔😔😔

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

You know I gets my pimpin' on

Oh shit ain't that your dude?

Yeah I be pimpin' all these hoes

Fool that was way back in highschool

You knows I get my pimp-

Wait,

Waitwaitwait wait wait wait

Svesta is that you- You, you, you, YOU?

What up Lucious?

That's PIMP, Lucious

Don't get it twisted 😤

MAN HE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANT-

Aahhhh AIN'T NO ONE TALKIN' TO YOU MACHO MAN-

Man you dumb wan wacka-off man I will

WAAAAAAHAAAAA AAAA-

Postman, postman

Fucked the whole area

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he will fuck you to your kidneys

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

You know I gets my pimpin' on

Oh shit ain't that your dude?

Yeah I be pimpin' all these hoes

Fool that was way back in highschool

You knows I get my pimp-

Wait,

Waitwaitwait wait wait wait

Svesta is that you- You, you, you, YOU?

What up Lucious?

That's PIMP, Lucious

Don't get it twisted 😤

MAN HE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANT-

Aahhhh AIN'T NO ONE TALKIN' TO YOU MACHO MAN-

Man you dumb wan wacka-off man I will

WAAAAAAHAAAAA AAAA-

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch ass mother fucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That’s right, he took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG. And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my twitter dot com: "Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, it’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller." And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like: PFFFFFFFFGJT. That’s right baby. All point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what, I’m gonna FUCK THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER PISS. Except I’m not gonna piss on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss d r o p l e t s hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

REEHEHEHEHEHE

👍

[non-tyrannical-usa]

Woe, mega copypasta with links be upon ye

https://mangadex.org/title/c52565c9-d99a-4380-9dc8-67369d448eb7/mahou-shoujo-madoka-magica?order=asc

https://heywise.com/quiz/which-greek-god-are-you-descended-from/?hwscore=1

What's up guys! It's Quandale Dingle here! (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE) I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE X2 speed). I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that.... I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD

That's it, I'm buying 50000 strands of garlic, 5000000000 things of salt, 5000000000000000 crucifixes, and 50000000000000000000000 mirrors-

Also, I'm sleeping with one eye open-

https://www.tumblr.com/crystalsandbubbletea/765810823901921280/fanfic-i-wrote-while-feeling-silly-in-art-class?source=share

Have you ever been slapped by a wet spaghetti noodle because your girlfriend has a twin sister so you got confused and fucked her dad?

Well that's how it feels to drive a Ford F-250

your car is smoking

Anon come back with a mega-copypasta

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

https://youtu.be/iLON_TjyRwY?si=-nONgalvixisLnXN

https://www.tumblr.com/crystalsandbubbletea/765810823901921280/fanfic-i-wrote-while-feeling-silly-in-art-class?source=share

Postman, postman

Fucked the whole area

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he will fuck you to your kidneys

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

people in NASA be having orgy's whilst people in earth are stuck with puritans 🙁🙁🙁🙁😔😔😔😔😔😔

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

You know I gets my pimpin' on

Oh shit ain't that your dude?

Yeah I be pimpin' all these hoes

Fool that was way back in highschool

You knows I get my pimp-

Wait,

Waitwaitwait wait wait wait

Svesta is that you- You, you, you, YOU?

What up Lucious?

That's PIMP, Lucious

Don't get it twisted 😤

MAN HE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANT-

Aahhhh AIN'T NO ONE TALKIN' TO YOU MACHO MAN-

Man you dumb wan wacka-off man I will

WAAAAAAHAAAAA AAAA-

Postman, postman

Fucked the whole area

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he will fuck you to your kidneys

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

You know I gets my pimpin' on

Oh shit ain't that your dude?

Yeah I be pimpin' all these hoes

Fool that was way back in highschool

You knows I get my pimp-

Wait,

Waitwaitwait wait wait wait

Svesta is that you- You, you, you, YOU?

What up Lucious?

That's PIMP, Lucious

Don't get it twisted 😤

MAN HE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANT-

Aahhhh AIN'T NO ONE TALKIN' TO YOU MACHO MAN-

Man you dumb wan wacka-off man I will

WAAAAAAHAAAAA AAAA-

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

#not my smile inc

#not my smile inc

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Postman, postman

Turned the entire neighborhood into beans

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he’ll turn your kidneys into kidney beans

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

Postman, postman

Fucked the whole area

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he will fuck you to your kidneys

#not my smile inc

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Postman, postman

Turned the entire neighborhood into beans

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he’ll turn your kidneys into kidney beans

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

oh my fucking god WHAT

[the-real-yahoo-mail]

Stress-

Must cope by sending copypasta and links-

https://mangadex.org/title/c52565c9-d99a-4380-9dc8-67369d448eb7/mahou-shoujo-madoka-magica?order=asc

https://heywise.com/quiz/which-greek-god-are-you-descended-from/?hwscore=1

https://youtu.be/iLON_TjyRwY?si=-nONgalvixisLnXN

What's up guys! It's Quandale Dingle here! (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE) I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE X2 speed). I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that.... I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD

That's it, I'm buying 50000 strands of garlic, 5000000000 things of salt, 5000000000000000 crucifixes, and 50000000000000000000000 mirrors-

Also, I'm sleeping with one eye open-

Have you ever been slapped by a wet spaghetti noodle because your girlfriend has a twin sister so you got confused and fucked her dad?

Well that's how it feels to drive a Ford F-250

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

Anon come back with a mega-copypasta

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

#not my smile inc

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Postman, postman

Turned the entire neighborhood into beans

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he’ll turn your kidneys into kidney beans

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

What's up guys, it's Quandale Dingle here

REEHEHEHEHEHE

jokes on you i don't have organs >:)

I think you may have forgotten “Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.”

I cited the fourth amendment word for word and also sourced it on the poll 💀

(I am now a true American RAAAAAAH 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

Irizz

Hey, hey look! Hey look! Look. glass jar

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Writing's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message, and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting-edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

people in NASA be having orgy's whilst people in earth are stuck with puritans 🙁🙁🙁🙁😔😔😔😔😔😔

What is up little spoon,

I am sending you this because I do not want you to mutate the Solar System. Please do not mutate the Solar System or I'm gonna have to send all the alphas after you :)

What is a spoon, little spoon

what is spoon, little

Spoon little is what? Up

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room! A rubber room with rats,and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-

talk to the hand cause the face doesn't wanna hear it-

Zoozve

Gaynamede

Irizz

You know I gets my pimpin' on

Oh shit ain't that your dude?

Yeah I be pimpin' all these hoes

Fool that was way back in highschool

You knows I get my pimp-

Wait,

Waitwaitwait wait wait wait

Svesta is that you- You, you, you, YOU?

What up Lucious?

That's PIMP, Lucious

Don't get it twisted 😤

MAN HE CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANT-

Aahhhh AIN'T NO ONE TALKIN' TO YOU MACHO MAN-

Man you dumb wan wacka-off man I will

WAAAAAAHAAAAA AAAA-

Postman, postman

Fucked the whole area

(Well done indeed)

Without error exactly

And he will fuck you to your kidneys

мый тыйым ебать пычал дене лӱйкалем

REEHEHEHEHEHE

https://www.tumblr.com/crystalsandbubbletea/765810823901921280/fanfic-i-wrote-while-feeling-silly-in-art-class?source=share

I didn’t even know asks could be this long

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (741): Thu 28th Mar 2024

I also realised that ten years ago today I left HMRC. At the time of my departure I would have called this my worst job ever but prior to this role I had only had one other job, working at the Glass Centre which was awesome so bestowing the distinction of "worst job ever on it" wasn't exactly harsh since it had to be the worst job by default. However I'm now at the stage where I've had six proper jobs (one temp job and one that I can't really call a job beca use I only worked there for ten days and fucked off without collecting my paycheck because it was so awful) so I can now start to rank all of them from best to worst. I don't think I would class HMRC as my worst job ever anymore because although it ended badly mainly due to them putting me on a stage two sickness warning even though the time between my two instances of sick leave was over a year, it did at least start out well when it was exclusively a data entry role. I think the dubious honor of my worst job ever would definitely be between Aldi and TSB now. Aldi was fucking awful mainly due to the stupid rules the enforced namely that I had to be clean shaven all the time and that they try to sabotage their shelf stacker employees by taking things off / adding things to the pallets they need to empty by the end of the shift and then quiz them to see if they spotted them all like a game from the fucking Krypton Factor. TSB on the other hand was especially painful because unlike HMRC which had a script for their employees to follow when talking to customers, TSB had no such thing they just gave you a four week crash course and then told you that you needed to remember the whole thing and not make any mistakes because three mistakes in the space of a month could lead to dismissal. Also they fucked me over by telling me that any overtime you did past five hours meant you would get paid double so naturally I worked overtime every day for the month of February and then on pay day was told that the double time thing wasn't true and I was just paid my normal wages. As bad as TSB was it was a blessing in disguise because it made me realise that I can not do jobs where I have to interact with customers and as such I've now landed a warehouse job where I'm mostly left alone. I suppose this means I should have a fraction of gratitude to TSB and this should edge Aldi just ahead of it in terms of worst jobs but it's still like trying to decide between diving into a swimming pool filled with horse piss or donkey piss. I can still remember the day I left HMRC like it was yesterday. Tragically I can't remember what my final call was about because I finished it at around ten minutes before the end of my shift and my manager just told me to turn off my computer and sit out the final ten minutes (presumably so I didn't abuse my final customer which I totally would have). I shook hands with all my team mates and after handing in my badge my manager escorted me out of the building and I made my way up the hill listening to The Prisoner by Iron Maiden and I was in such a good mood that I stopped off at the toy store to buy Lacey a new Toy Story racing car. I was so happy to be free of that place and optimistic for what the future would hold. I wonder if I could travel back in time to that date and tell past me what the future held would he be put off? If I told him he would end up on the dole for a year and a half before working a temp job for a campaign to get children off fatty food, then working a job in a supermarket that started at five AM and wouldn't let me have a beard before a six month stretch in another call centre would his spirits be as high as he walked up that hill? I suspect if I also told him that he would re-enter the catering industry for a great job in a cafe that would last five years and would allow him enough free time to go see all his favourite bands then he probably wouldn't regret his decision to leave.

[ollieinoue]

"No," Ollie said, shaking his head, "I uh…" His words trailed off, eyes very keenly following Monty's tongue as he licked along the joint. Getting very distracted for a brief moment for one reason or another. For a person who was very much not into people he was angry with, and never saw the appeal in hate sex… That was pretty fucking hot. Granted he hadn't been mad at Monty for weeks now. Monty on the other hand clearly was still very mad, and honestly really had a lot more reasons to be…

He blinked a few times pulling his gaze back up to Monty's eyes, indeed witnessing the anger that was held there -- the clenching feeling grasping at his chest again. "I mean, yeah," Ollie said, as if suddenly changing his mind. Like he wasn't just grasping at straws to get Monty to talk to him for longer. He didn't need drugs, he had a stash he had obtained over the last week of summer having anticipated Monty's reluctance to interact with him. Did he imagine he would be dropping a bunch of his activities to achieve that? No, but here they were. "Just a dime is fine," he said, waving his hand a little bit before reaching up and fiddling with one of his curls. Getting a single dime bag felt a little silly, like he was back in high school or something. Probably proof enough that he wasn't actually in need of buying anything off of Monty. But still, here he was. "Actually… I mean, we should really talk, dude…" He glanced up towards the high ceilings of the pool area and gave a deep breath. "Like it's whatever, we don't have to talk. But we need to sort some shit out. We still have a car, bro. And a house. What's the deal with that? Sure, I assume this means you don't want me to sell for you anymore, and fine. whatever. But like…" He trailed off, his head wobbling a little a silent c'mon hanging in the air. "You really didn't have to drop out of quiz bowl, and robotics, dude…"

There was a dorm change form in Monty's desk drawer. He'd printed it out his first day back on campus and then felt like a dramatic idiot once he was halfway done filling it out. Compromising with himself, he instead got into the habit of wearing his headphones whenever he dared to leave his room, because even without any music actually playing, he could feign ignorance. Take the easy out of not realizing Ollie was visiting Anya or not hearing him when they passed by each other in the hallway. Right now, he really wished he had his earbuds in.

Monty paused the familiar motion of rolling a joint, a few long and awkward seconds drawing out before he managed to raise his gaze to Ollie's face. Everything inside of him clenched uncomfortably. He shrugged, trying to stand a little taller before asking plainly, "You need somethin'?" Drugs. He meant drugs, because Monty had diligently been attempting to whittle down their connection to just that and nothing more. It was a futile and impossible task, and somewhere deep down he already knew that, but he wasn't ready to give it up yet, hacking apart his own social life in sacrifice. He licked the thin edge of the rolling paper and smoothed it into place, watching Ollie the whole way through.

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Brown Eyed Girl- Part 4

Pairing: Elliot (Euphoria) x Reader

Summary: Into the reader's second trimester, this dives into the readers cravings and her overall look and feel. Elliot and the reader have a much needed self care night.

Word Count: 1.5k (on the shorter side, sorry)

Warnings: Mentions of sex, swearing, I think that's it.

A/n: Hi guys, sorry I'm really bad at putting out chapters and updating. This is like half edited cuz I'm so tired. I'm in a really bad place still and am constantly beating myself up about posting and stuff. I know that my masterlist isn't updated either, I'm working on that tomorrow. Once school ends I should feel a bit better, it's just all a bit too much right now.

“Hey, can you get me another jar?” I quiz, lifting my head to look down at Elliot laying at my feet who plucks at his guitar, his eyes fluttering shut as he groans. 

“Another jar? Seriously, our kid is gonna be born allergic to peanut butter with how many jars you’ve inhaled over the last few days.” He chuckles teasingly, setting his guitar aside as he huffs, making his way across the room to his backpack, fishing out another car of peanut butter. It had been the most intrusive and expensive craving of mine in my pregnancy journey so far, topping the charts in weirdest cravings between my mom and I. 

Her and I have been talking a lot since I opened up to her a bit more in the weeks that I’ve been pregnant. It was nice to be able to hear from someone that I trust who’s been through this before and to compare experiences. She explained that with Lexi and I, she craved sweeter things and with Cassie she craved more salty foods. She liked to joke that that’s why Cassie’s the way that she is today, bitter and angry. But seriously, to hear from someone first hand about the experiences that I’m going through or will be going through, it’s beyond helpful. Especially knowing that she’s there for me no matter what happens, knowing in her heart that, if she made Lexi and I, that Elliot and I can create someone equally as amazing.

 But the peanut butter thing has only become a big issue that’s only gotten worse the longer I’ve been pregnant. I was never really the biggest fan of peanut butter before getting pregnant, not really going out of my way to eat it. Not that I didn’t like it, I just didn’t like it more than the average human, but now I can’t live without it. I realize how dramatic that sounds but it’s not dramatic when I’m crying at one in the morning, begging Elliot to drive to Fezco’s store to buy me a few jars. It was the only thing that didn’t make me nauseous, it even managed to soothe incessant fits of nausea when it gets bad. 

“It makes me happy, baby, just nod and smile and hand over the jar.” I grin as he slides it into my lap, plopping down on the bed beside me as he returns back to his music. I can’t wait for the time in my pregnancy where he’ll be able to play and sing to the baby, hopefully inviting some movement and flutters from the little one. It was one of his first questions that Elliot asked when we went to the doctors together, excited beyond belief for the time where he can feel the baby respond to him. 

“I just think it’s so funny that out of everything you could’ve wanted, it’s peanut butter. Isn’t Cassie allergic to that shit?” Elliot asks with a chuckle, my eyes rolling at the mention of my older sister. “Maybe it’ll keep her away from us if you continue to eat it.” He winks, a snort leaving me as I shove another spoonful into my mouth.

My relationship with Cassie has not improved in the last few weeks, the blonde only becoming more distant and even more passive aggressive. 

Actually, no. She wasn’t passive aggressive. She was aggressive aggressive. 

She would avoid Elliot at all costs, steering clear from him like he’s the plague walking through our home. Even when my mom, Lexi, Elliot and I would all eat or spend time together, she would put herself at the opposite side of the house or leave all together. She hated that we were all getting along and that we were all excited for this baby and this experience. It seems like the last thing she wanted to be was an aunt, especially when her opportunity to become a mother was taken away from her by someone convincing her out of it. But that was her issue and her mistake to work through, it has nothing to do with me, Lexi or my mom. It was her decision at the end of the day and I don’t think any of the three of us thought that, by supporting her decision to choose, that we were going to be beaten up for it years down the line for making a different decision. 

“Yeah, she’s really stressing me out lately. I heard her and my mom yelling downstairs last night at like eleven- did you hear it?” I ask, watching as he nods slowly, his eyes widening briefly as he sighs. Cassie’s screams had woken me up from my first, sound, comfortable three hours of sleep in weeks, my ears immediately tuning into their conversation down the hall. Cassie was mostly confrontational with my mom and Lexi rather than me, the actual person she had an issue with, but maybe it’s because she knows that I’d rip her apart if she even tried to come between me and Elliot or mention our baby in a slightly negative way. “I thought that she’d be the one to actually understand since she went through the stress of first finding out and trying to navigate all the options. I expected her to react better than whatever this is but apparently I don’t know her as well as I thought I did.” I frown, my head falling back against the pillow as I close the jar of peanut butter, tossing it to my side as I huff. Elliot just watches me, his lips tugging down into a soft frown as I pout. He knows better than anyone that mine and Cassie’s relationship and the wreck that it is has been at the front of my mind, sad that she couldn’t just grow up and talk about what’s bothering her so much. “It’s just unnecessary stress that I don’t need.” 

“Well then let’s get your mind off of it, huh?” He asks, a glint of mischief in his eyes as I chuckle, watching him as he slips out of the room, my hands reaching to rest on my stomach as I listen to him shuffle in my bathroom, returning moments later. “Okay, so this is everything that I found, I figured I could help you unwind a bit in your favorite ways.” He laughs sheepishly, tossing the self care items down onto the bed as I smile softly, listening to him as he continues to rant, his cheeks a bit flushed as his hands fly as he talks. He stopped smoking weed after finding out that we’re pregnant, just to practice so he’s prepared for when the baby comes. It was one of his biggest worries, not wanting to be smoking anything around me while I’m pregnant or our child once they’re born. But I can tell from his anxiousness, his jitteriness and constant fidgeting that’s only gotten worse in the last few weeks that weed was probably helping him more than we both thought it was. 

“This is great, Elliot, thank you.” I whisper softly, catching his attention as he nods, sliding down onto the bed next to me. I move to slide my legs over his lap, my hands reaching for my favorite lotion but he stops me, stealing the bottle from me as I chuckle.

“Just relax, I’ve got you.” He presses a quick kiss to my lips as I lay back against the pillows, feeling his fingers lift my shirt a bit before squirting some lotion on my abdomen, the cold startling me as I gasp. He apologizes in a hushed voice, spreading the soothing substance all over the expanse of my tummy. The mint smell soothes me a bit, my eyes fluttering shut as I enjoy the way his hands feel on me, missing his touch from the few hours where he was working on his music. 

Over the next hour or two, we would do every single self care step that I’ve missed out on in the last few weeks due to my utter exhaustion. We did facemasks, he soothed my every aching muscle and now we rest, my head resting on his chest as his fingers rake through my hair, my eyes drooping heavily as he presses gentle kisses to my forehead.

“I love you, bug.” He whispers, a soft, sleepy smile stretching across my lips as he pulls the blanket further over my shoulders, my arms tightening around his waist as I slip even more into him.

﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡

Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @chiyongberry @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy

Euphoria Taglist: @colbysbrocks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx@ssprayberrythings @username-lols @pessimisticbiitch@urmomsangel @iamasimpingh0e @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @rosepetalsparks

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Hidden Oracle: Chapter 20 (SPOILERS)

"Of course, the previous Oracle had been a withered corpse, so perhaps the bar was low." Yeah, that's... that's a pretty low bar. Is the Oracle a job you can really bring excitement and vigor to? Most of the time it's just going about your day and making sure you're prepared to be possessed at any moment, right? Sometimes getting prophetic visions (in Rachel's case, prophetic paintings) and the occasional prophecy poem?

"Miss Dare looked thinner and older . . . She was not the same person." Wow, I guess the capture of Delphi not only affects the Oracle spirit but also its host vessel? That, and she just came from the Clarion Ladies' Academy, which cannot be a fun experience.

"stale crackers from the Oracle's larder." LARDER (n.): a room or large cupboard for storing food

"[Millard and Herbert] arrived at my house badly wounded. They... they didn't make it." What killed the satyrs??? Did the Beast send someone or something after them to try to keep Rachel from getting to camp? Omg imagine being Rachel: the Oracle suddenly stops working, all prophecies stop working even after Gaea is gone, then in the middle of your miserable boarding school year, two satyrs arrive at your home bleeding to death and you come to camp hoping for answers only to find the god that's supposed to help you fix the prophecies has been turned human. Bad year. Anyway, neither of them were the satyr that was teaching the music class or announcing the death race, right? No, I looked it up. That was Woodrow.

"That is the building you described last summer . . . where you parleyed with the Romans." "how did the Romans take over such prime Manhattan real estate on such short notice?" WAIT THAT'S RIGHT. I always thought we were just supposed to suspend our disbelief on stuff like that, like how and where the Romans got enough cars to take them and all their stuff across the country or whoever Octavian bought those HOUSE-SIZED onager catapults from. I just assumed they had connections with demigods who made it out in the mortal world.

"The mother company is something called Triumvirate Holdings." That sounds very Roman. "a ruling council of three . . . in ancient Rome." "three shadowy figures stood talking together--men in business suits" Is this serious? Is the Big Bad of this series going to be a corporation? Is Apollo's task going to be to... Is Apollo going to have to take down capitalism? Is the Big Bad capitalism? LMAO prophecy and capitalism: the two themes of TOA (jkjkjk)

"Adult demigods? I can't imagine they would be Greek, but perhaps Roman?" PFFFT HAHAHA Yes, because CHB doesn't prepare their kids for life in the outside world; they just assume they won't live 'til twenty and if they do, they won't last out there for long! :D

"the weapons were paid for by Triumvirate Holdings." Oh, so they paid for it, but they still bought them from somewhere. WHO??? Who sells ancient Roman siege weapons? "Luke Castellan mentioned he had backers in the mortal world . . . enough money to buy a cruise ship, helicopters, weapons . . . mortal mercenaries." OH AND LUKE! This goes far back! And lol, yeah, cruise ship with mortals included. This goes deep...

"What if this company is the root cause of... well, everything?" What are they, the Illuminati? Did they cause the Great Stirring or at least profit off of it?

"Rachel sat up straight. 'Excuse me? Oracles plural?'" Lol Rachel, you should be familiar with the gods and their infidelity by now. Jkjk but it's funny to see her jealous of him having other Oracles even though Delphi is obviously his favorite.

So, a triumvirate is a leading group of three -- a trio. And it's implied that Triumvirate Holdings is run by three ancient Romans. But the Roman emperors quiz I took on the Read Riordan website had four possible results! (The words "YOU GOT CALIGULA!" will forever haunt me.) Let's just see how this goes, then.

[utapri-hcs]

The lads as dumb shit my friends have said pt 3

So basically, I kinda got lazy and decided to just mass post all of them bcs my list is getting rlly long and it would taken a rlly long time to post all of these quotes one by one. Here is pt 3 of a series nobody asked for!

Ren:I want a rule for ASS but unfortunately there isn’t 

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Camus: Building children has ethical issues

Reiji: I mean I would sure HOPE so

Ai: Huh- 

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Otoya: Are you okay Rei chan? You look sad

Reiji: Yeah I’m okay! Y’know I’m pretty happy!

Otoya: Are you?

Reiji: …okay actually…I’m.. I’m just sad

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Starish: Happy birthday to you!!

Tokiya: I swear, if I walk into a room and you sing this song when it’s not even my birthday for the next god damn time. I’m going to lose it

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Reiji: *drops the pickle jar* Oh….you didn’t see that did you?

Ranmaru: I did

Reiji: That’s kinda of embarrassing…

Ranmaru: Yeah it is

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Camus: I believe there is something wrong with our group

Ranmaru: Yeah it’s you

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Reiji: I’m smiling but on the inside the more I think, the more I want to die

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Ranmaru: HEY CAMUS YOU BITCH

Librarian: *shushing him*

Ranmaru: Hey Camus, you bitch

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Camus: You really think you can get out of this?

Reiji: …I made cinnamon rolls yesterday (*⁰▿⁰*)

Camus: AND YOU DIDN’T THINK TO GIVE ME ANY?

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Reiji: What is this image?

Camus: A smug look

Ranmaru: Oh it’s your face

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Ranmaru: You ask Reiji, “Why do you always cry?”, and he’ll fucking cry

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Otoya: They ask what type of people I’m friends with!

Syo: *looks intensely at Ren* Oh boy, do I wonder

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Reiji: Wait wait, I need to count my money real quick 

Ranmaru: You can count?

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Yamato: You have an anniversary every year?

Nagi: …that’s when anniversaries happen

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Reiji: If I wanna be hit by a car, I wanna hit by a car stylishly

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Reiji: Milk tea?! Ranran, we are getting some!

Ranmaru: Sure I’ll go with you, I guess 

Reiji: No! I’ll bring it to you so I look like a good best friend

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Otoya: Rei chan says that Myu is nice!

Ranmaru: Not looking

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Otoya: Syo??? What happened?? You’re all bruised!

Syo: Look man don’t judge victory

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Yamato: I can’t read this…

Nagi: Then don’t

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Reiji: Mouuu! I barely see Myu anymore!

Camus: It should stay like that

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Reiji: I threw Doritos at crows to befriend them….then they flew away

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Reiji: Does it count as vehicular manslaughter if you die?

Ranmaru: …to what?…Reiji what are you implying

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Reiji: Yknow I only hate myself the normal amount. What did I do to deserve this? *is tied up*

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Nagi: Have you ever wondered why you are so mean?

Camus: What do you mean

Nagi: Fullstop.

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Reiji: Sometimes you just gotta…take a deep breath and give up

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Ryuya: What do you want to do when you grow up?

Ren: Be a thot

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Ringo: Okay! Here is your test and I shall….pray you’ll actually get decent scores…

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Ryuya: So what do you think is the issue of the question? Actually, you guys have quite a few issues….

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Reiji: You dropped this King 👑 

Camus: Thanks peasant, here are your rations for the week 🥜

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Ren: Tell me you are poor without telling me you are poor

Reiji: …I don’t own word 360…

Ren: Bukki…do..do you want me to buy it for you??? 

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Ren: *gets a quiz answer correct* Ayo, too good

Syo: *sarcasm* Yeah I’m sure you are

Ren: *immediately gets the next one wrong*

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Otoya: Yay!!! I’m not dumb!!! Oh wait I forgot to put down my name…

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Ren: So, I’m going to ignore your advice and go for it anyway

Ai: You’ll regret it

Ren: I already do

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Syo, teaching Masato how to use google docs: Everyday, technology surprises you more and more

Masato: Really?

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Ren: Give me a sad Bruno Mars songs

Van: Heartbreak anniversary?

Ren: Bitch that isn’t Bruno

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Ren: You see how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless ✨

Masato: Or you’re worth nothing 

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Ren: I will tell you that Aimi will kill you for that

Syo: Don’t tell- Ah fuck I forgot he was in the call with us…ehehehehe heeeeeeeey Ai….

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Ren: I played Shining live; worst decision of my life.

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Ranmaru: We are going to fucking be having this conversation in two weeks

Cecil: *crying*

Ranmaru: YOU BETTER DO IT

Syo: Uh…what is happening?

Reiji: Ranran is trying to talk to Cesshi about the future…

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Ranmaru: These fists are fucking rated e for everyone. Except for Otoya, he is great

Reiji: What about me Ranran?

Ranmaru: It’s fucking rated e for especially you

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Tokiya: Kotobuki-senpai…why are you on the floor?

Reiji: ….I laughed too hard when Renren gave a deez nuts joke to Ranran and hit my leg…

Tokiya: How old even are you??

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Otoya: Masato, why aren’t you and Ren friends anymore?

Masato: He scammed me out of 1 dollar, I think that’s when our friendship ended

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Syo: LOOK I WAS 8 YEARS OLD AND MAD

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Reiji: I’m back!!!

Rest of QN: Oh god

Reiji: Ehhh?! What would you do without me!!

Ranmaru: Live a normal life

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Aine: What if I just wanna be happy?

Shining: Happiness is not allowed

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Reiji: See~ I’m not like the other girls. All of quartet night hate me. Including myself

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Ranmaru: I would rather drop my firstborn child then drop my food

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Yamato: I thought you said that you would name your girl Bru???

Tokiya: What?? Why? What if I had a boy?

Cecil: Name it Gru!!

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Ranmaru: Whatever is happening over there, I don’t want any fucking part in it

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Ai: Do you even know who you are?

Ranmaru: Not a fucking psychiatrist, that’s what

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Van: Yeah the keychain was like four dollars or something 

Reiji: I remember when I scanned Aine’s hand and it said he was worth four dollars

Otoya: …Are you okay Rei chan?

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Ranmaru: You seriously have fucking problems 

Reiji: Ah! Thank you for noticing!!

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Cecil: I wonder how Shion is able to sleep this much

Eiichi: Hibernation is what we assume 

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Nagi: I can’t even hear anything!!

Syo: It’s retribution for being an iPad kid

Nagi: Sleep with one eye open

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Ranmaru: Camus, if you were on life support, I would pull the plug

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Shion: *yawn* I’m going to get breakfast

Nagi: Breakfast??? It’s three in the afternoon??

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Ranmaru: The extent that you like sweets is less of a guilty pleasure and more of a fucking criminal pleasure

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Ai: Reiji, I feel as though your life is a car crash that somehow was able to parallel park 

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*talking about games*

Ren: And like they have a religion about a dead dragon, like it’s dead?? What is it even going to do

Ai: You do realise that Jesus is dead and that you are Christian, right?

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Natsuki: Ringo-sensei! I think Masato-kun is killing Ren-kun!

Ringo: I- Repeat that

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Otoya: Oh! Can you get me a water bottle from the fridge, Ranmaru senpai?

Ranmaru: Sure, I’m going there ,anyways. 

Reiji: Can you get me one too, Ranran?

Ranmaru: Go fucking get one yourself, you idiot 

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Natsuki: Ne ne! Cecil!! True or false-

Cecil: Yes!

Ranmaru: The FUCK does that even mean

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Ai: Did something happen? You seem more energetic nowadays

Reiji: Thanks, it’s the anxiety

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Reiji: We can always count on the count to count but he better make this one count otherwise it won’t count to the counter counting the counters that the count counts!

Camus: I hope you realise how much I absolutely despise you

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Reiji: It’s illegal to own people, Myu

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Nagi: C’mon Eiichi! Just let me do it! I’ve been waiting my entire life for this

Syo: How old even are you?

Nagi: 13!

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Van, recording a tik tok: Cmon Kira chan! Sing along, Mr sandman, man me a sand- *walks into a wall*

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Syo: How is it that you are able to eat a pudding everyday single day

Nagi: Sometimes it’s two!

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Reiji: I’m really feeling targeted…

Ranmaru: It’s because you are

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Reiji: Oh Ryuya senpai! I’m with Kei…and Aine’s dead body

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Ranmaru: Your music tastes sound like a fucking Russian Uber driver that doesn’t even own Spotify premium 

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Reiji: When I start thinking really hard, I start to scream

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Tokiya: Aijima-san..what is that on the floor?

Cecil: A pentagram! 

Tokiya: Why?

Cecil: The muses told me to make one!

Tokiya: I hope you do realise that is the Star of David 

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Van: tO tHE lEFt, tO thE leFt

Nagi: If Van keeps singing, I’ll be forced to take further action against him

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Nagi: I’ll give you a reason to see a doctor alright *reloads nerf gun*

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Nagi: Yamato forced me to work out with him so immediately after we finished I passed out and angrily ate gummy bears

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Ranmaru: I would fucking rather my local restaurant chef to be more passionate then my dentist

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Cecil: The muses say it’s not time to release the wasps

Syo: WHEN IS THE TIME TO RELEASE THE WASPS????

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Ranmaru: If you ask me what should you order from a restaurant, don’t. That’s a fight between you and god.

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Reiji: I can always tell what Myu is thinking! If he is holding a gun, he is probably angry

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Reiji: You’re gonna hate me for this but-

Ranmaru: I already hate you

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Ryuya: So..Do you prefer online learning or face to face?

Ren: Both are the same to me, I don’t listen either way 

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Ren: I would allow my kids to be anything unless it’s becoming a league of legends player

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Syo: I- Cecil we said squats not magic 

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Reiji: I really don’t know what’s your problem with Renren

Ranmaru: Ren will literally do anything to spite me. I dislike a romance movie? He decides to be an ass and play another one

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Tokiya: Very well then, lets do a poll

Natsuki: Okay!

Tokiya: Shinomiya-san, voting for everything will not help

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Reiji: Awww, Ranran is such a tsundere

Ranmaru: I’m not a tsundere, I actually hate you

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Nagi: Can I say? Just saw god, a little disappointed if I’m being honest

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Reiji: Y’know we’re stressed, depressed and overdressed

Masato: …Kotobuki-san

Reiji: But at least it looks like we got it together 

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Nagi: You want a hug in this economy??? That’s like 3 million dollars, pay up

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Ranmaru: So…uh…you want a beer?

Reiji: RANRAN HE IS 6!!

Ranmaru: I don’t know??? What the fuck else am I suppose to talk about

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Cecil: Obama once said “Hakuna Matata”

Ranmaru: That was definitely not Obama

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Reiji: Look at us! We started at the bottom now we’re-

Ranmaru: Still there

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Ringo: Anyone want to guess who this is

Natsuki: Leonardo devinci!!!!

Ringo: …this is Leonardo Dicaprio 

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Otoya: Awww Masato is going to be alone. Both me and Natsuki have to go somewhere and Cecil is sick…

Natsuki: At least you’ll have Ren-kun to sit next to!

Masato: Yeah no, absolutely not

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Interviewer: What is one thing you think is a good trait within your group mates

Ai: Well, Camus is a mysterious person, he’ll know your deepest secrets. Ranmaru is street smart, he knows his way around. Reiji has a Netflix account. 

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Ranmaru: If we are having an argument, we will continue having the argument until I win or one of us dies

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Ryuya: Could you guys not play uno in my class?

Aine: Oh is it my turn? 

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Tokiya, standing in a room with party poppers and balloons: Guys, my birthday isn’t today. It’s in two days 

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Ren: As commemoration for our ten year friendship, I’ll give you $10. A dollar for each year

Masato: I would like to refund you 

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Syo: Reiji senpai, what is something you regret?

Reiji: Uhhh…probably gaining a conscious 

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Syo: Sir thinks that’s you called him stinky because you gifted him shampoo and last year Ren gave him a toothbrush

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Ringo: I’m sick of you guys not doing any work, this lesson we are actually gonna settle down and do the work. 

Also Ringo: *hands out a word search*

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Nagi: Remember when van’s hair was bad? Oh wait you don’t need to even remember it

Van: :(

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Ren: We are all sans undertale on the inside

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Van: Yeah I cheat at games? What are you going to do? Call me a bitch? Wait don’t do that, I’ll cry

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Ringo: So, we aren’t going to be having class next Monday

Otoya: Oh…so are we having class on Monday?

Ringo: Otoya think about what I said for about two minutes and you’ll probably figure it out

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Nagi: I’ve learned that I’m more concerned about you more than ever. You done a lot of things, you’ve talked about your toes, you showed your toes, you asked people to touch your toes. YOU’RE WEIRD VAN

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Syo: *tries to throw the water bottle in the bin and fails, landing it on Otoya’s lap*

Otoya,soaked: I’m not hydrophobic????

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Ren: Yeah we spent like two periods talking about Universities and stuff

Syo: No?? You guys were literally talking about Batman, I heard you guys

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Ren: Yeah they let Ochibi-chan in the canteen cause he looks like a Year 7. They told me to fuck off though

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Ren: Ahh Bukki, what’s your favourite anime?

Reiji: Ummmmm Scooby doo?

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Syo: Do you think you’re ready for the test?

Otoya: Yeah! I forgot my calculator….

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Syo: I think I got 25 questions wrong….

Tokiya: There were only 25 questions 

Syo: Exactly 

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Tokiya: What did you even lose?

Reiji: My dignity 

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Yamato: Just because you’re correct doesn’t mean it’s right

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Ren: Looks like someone didn’t looks at the rules before we started playing UNO

Yamato: I didn’t know there WERE RULES???

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Ren, holding an anime boy body pillow: I DIDN’T STEAL HIM! HE IS MINE! I BROUGHT HIM LEGALLY 

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Eiichi: I love everyone in HEAVENS equally, especially Eiji

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Otoya: How was your school holidays Ren?

Ren: Everyday I’m reminded that it’s a day closer to having to see Ryuya again 

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Yamato: If you use all your money then you won’t have to worry about how to spend it!

Nagi: I hope you never become a financial advisor 

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Syo: Ai left me on read..

Ren: Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, ghosted 

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Eiichi: They said switching to orange juice from coffee would be good for me and makes me feel happier, but i think thats just the whiskey

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Ranmaru: If it makes you happy, then so be it

Nagi: Awwww Ranmaru showing compassion…about time