#what are these feelings
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I'm having a quarter life crisis unpacking comp het. I Know I'm asexual and nonbinary. But I don't even know what romantic attraction is?! Where is the line between romance and platonic love? I want to cuddle, to feel close to another being, to watch sunrises but not "because that's what you're supposed to do" but because sunrises are calm and peaceful & I want to share that moment with someone or several someone's, to sit in silence and be without any expectations ruining it. I hate dating it feels so limiting and disingenuous with high expectations. My friendships are more fulfilling because I've only ever experienced dating as putting on a performance. I can not watch a Nicholas Sparks film without rolling my eyes or feeling insanely uncomfortable. I want to live in a house overflowing with love. The only crushes I've had have been on people who understood me, like 2 people ever, a trans boy and femme presenting girl. What am i?! Am I aromantic? Am I pansexual or panromantic?
#asexual#aromantic#neurodivergent#pansexual#panromantic#what even is romance#what are these feelings#lgbtq#comp het#i dont want to feel alone#quarter life crisis#aroace#arospec
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god fucking daaaayum it you're cute
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so ok yeah fine i watched gravity falls again and read the book of bill
#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#bill got me again…. in 2024… what a time#also billford canon lets GO#2015 me is living#drawing gf again after so long feels surreal but good#ford pines#gravity falls#my art
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#i feel a kinship with that snake#would that i could be a simple tube#and eat my fill of eggs#but being a person is rather nice too#my wife is a saint#and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy#but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college#and i deserved to just go a little insane#you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs
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Don't worry, no one in our family is [REDACTED]
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I think cis people should also be their gender of choice. Like, if you're a man, you should get to really enjoy being a man- have fun with it! If you're a woman, take the parts of womanhood that really deeply make you happy. If being a little androgynous or ambiguous or hidden is the part that really makes you happy, you don't have to be trans for that. If you wanna lean really hard into being femme or masc- do it! You have one life in your body, do what makes you happy. Ditch the stuff you don't like.
My sinister queer agenda is I think that everyone should be the gender they like in the way they like it.
#the most important opinion on your gender is your own#it's like fashion#if you're wearing what genuinely makes you feel happy and comfortable#you can't look bad
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interaction i have with shocking regularity is when someone’s complaining abt someone they know and theyre like “ughh they’re 21 and dont have a job and refuse to learn to drive” and then they remember who they’re talking to (me. 21 cant work cant drive) and go like
#text#‘ur situation is different’ Do u know Their situation enough to say that lol#also like. be srs if u didnt know me ud think the same way abt me. Do u think this abt me subconsciously?? guessing yes#The only person who HASNT made me feel like this and has actually articulated what they meant in a way that didnt feel like a dig#at me was 💫 last night hence why its on my mind
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we need 15-20 episode seasons again these limited series have the worst pacing in the world and none of the character decisions hold any weight
#ace txt#arcane s2 is like. fine-good. but i want it to be GREAT and i think the director vision is suffering#i feel the same about tlovm#if u can't give a characters decisions any time to prove weight what's even the point
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being a writer leads to a genuinely helpful but also very stupid kind of mindfulness where you'll be having a sobbing breakdown or the worst anxiety attack of your life and think "okay, I really need to pay attention to how this feels. so I can incorporate it into my fanfiction."
#'where are you feeling this stress in your body' is OUT#'what tactile details will allow you to describe how your blorbo is feeling the stress in THEIR body' is in#listen. it works.#anyway guess who's having a terrible anxiety day and about to make it a traumatized mad scientist's problem. this girl.
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OK SO I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN THE RAIN AT 2AM AND I SAW AN ANIMAL RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD AND SO I GRABBED IT AND
IT WAS THIS
#did i mention I'm autistic hi#insane discovery literally just now#i definitely scared it really bad i do feel bad about thar#i just wanted to see what it was...#misc
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hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month
#shush jesse#EDIT from future me: this post was about astarion but im fully a galegirl (gendy neutch) now so idk what that says#he's also my type for what its worth#this post abt astarion#hes just so painfully on brand for me#i know so little about him though is the thing but i still feel insane#but i cant play the game and i dont want to watch anyone play it and i dont want spoilers#so like.....secondhand blorbo right now
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i feel like people are skimming over the uk riots in a way that makes me want to tear my hair out. muslims in the uk are in active danger. immigrants in the uk are in active danger. refugees in the uk are in active danger. people of colour in the uk are in active danger. asian communities in the uk are in active danger. black communities in the uk are in active danger.
there are massive far right riots throughout the country right now and people like fucking elon musk and nigel farage are inciting it and still have a platform to speak. people have used three young girls deaths, people's genuine grief in southport, to try and gain traction for their own racist bullshit and it's working.
a lot of refugee charities have been forced to close leaving many people without support, homes, funding, food, etc. if you aren't able to donate please consider sending a message via the conversation over borders campaign! it will send a hopeful, welcoming letter to a refugee in the uk. there is also a guide to staying safe here.
please do your own research and donate to refugee charities, anti-islamophobia charities, mosques who are trying to rebuild after being destroyed, counter protesters, here are some i've heard positive things about but the list is extensive; southport strong together (support for the southport victims and their families), southport mosque rebuilding, riot repair fund, middlesbrough vulnerable residents, nasir mosque rebuilding, hull help for refugees, bristol welcomes migrants,
#i know there's so much going on but if you can take a second to support these groups !!#i just feel kinda sick#i wanted to add with so many people seeing this that i'm white im british and im extremely privileged to not be in active danger right now#i don't want to take away from people speaking out about this who are in a place of danger#this was really only meant to be for my followers#but i'm glad more people get to see what's happening and donate !!!
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sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.
i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.
so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.
today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.
and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.
so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.
#autism#actually autistic#adhd#audhd#actually adhd#neurodivergent#im tagging adhd and autism because that is specifically what i have#this post can apply to any neurodivergent people who feel it helps#i am fully aware that neurodivergent includes people who arent autistic or adhd
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License to Kitty.
#dungeon meshi#izutsumi#marcille donato#chilchuk tims#I still stand by my tags on the Izutsumi character study piece I did in January - but I will repeat myself on a few lines here:#I *really* love this character. I love that all of the dungeon meshi crew are complicated and have difficult to love components.#But Izutsumi is a particular kind of hard to love. I foresee a lot of people being turned off by her abrasiveness and lack of teamwork.#She is very self-centered and openly goes against what the party agrees on.#She's a picky eater in a story that is 50% about eating good and healthy food!#It is in part about her growth but admittedly even *then* she remains rather true to her self-centeredness.#Even though she isn't as nice or funny or compassionate as the others...Izutsumi is still someone worth loving.#Even the more difficult people are someone worth loving.#And those people in turn are people who have something and someone they love.#She may be a girlcat but she is the most human of them all.#I hope that if you are an anime only watcher and are feeling put off by her at the moment; you'll give her a chance.#By the way: *yes* I worked very hard to draw that skateboard pose. It was worth it.#EDIT: HAPPY 500th POST OF POORLY-DRAW-MDZS!!! What a comic to commemorate the milestone with!
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I think we as a society should bring back brotps. I think we should be weirder about characters being friends the same way people are weird about ships. Make those two characters who interacted once or twice besties. Make it difficult for them to get rid of each other even if they want to. Go nuts
#I always get so weird about being specifically excited about making two characters be friends#and be really close esp compared to canon.#and I’m like eujhh what if this is. Weird.#and then u remember I wouldn’t feel nearly as weird were it a ship bc that’s just like. Standard behavior.#more giving a fuck abt guys being buddies 2024#text posts :0]#todays post is brought to you by isabeau and odile interacting in isat
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