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yanderegarden · 12 days ago

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Love 100mg Warning: May be addictive

Katsuki Bakugo

Student! Katsuki Bakugo x Addict! Darling

TW: yandere-themes, non-con/dub-con ideations, profanity, kidnapping, emotional, verbal, & physical abuse, implied drug-use & addiction, withdrawal symptoms, violence, blood, forced confinement. Fem reader

Tip-Jar

You and Bakugo grew up in the same town, on the same street, and attended the same schools, yet barely exchanged anything more than a simple glance in the hallways.

Growing up, you can recall briefly watching him from the entry hall window of your home, admiring his confidence even as a child. His belief that he was capable of anything could be felt even from houses away.

Your parents kept you sheltered as a child. You had the urge to go and play with the other kids, but knowing there wasn’t much you could do, you were content staying inside.

Developing a passion for your studies at a young age, you became fascinated with your courses. Excelling in middle school, you were one of the top students.

It wasn’t until one year in middle school that you were formally introduced to Bakugo—when you both tied for first place in the science fair. You had envisioned Bakugo as someone who was confident, strong-willed, and kind...

Little did you know, his jealousy of being at the top was paired with the will to be the only one there. You felt an uneasy feeling standing next to him as you both had your picture taken by the school newspaper, holding a trophy together. You won’t forget how you tried congratulating him, saying, "I don’t know how they expected us to share this medal," attempting to lighten the mood. But he simply replied, "Keep the stupid medal. It'll probably be the last one you get." From that moment on, you steered clear of Bakugo.

No longer did you have long, pondering stares at him from your bedroom window, fantasizing about what he was like or how he treated his friends. Instead, you chose to focus on yourself, your studies, and your life. When graduation day came, you applied to the public high schools in the area. Considering the reaction you had faced when Bakugo declared he'd be the only one attending UA High, you decided to stay away. You had seen the way he treated Midoriya and chose not to touch that with a ten-foot pole. Why take the risk? you asked yourself

It wasn't until your parents told you that a mutual hero friend of theirs had extended a letter of recommendation for UA High’s General Studies course and applied on your behalf.

The school welcomed your application, considering that a pro hero had recommended you for your intelligence.

You told your parents it wasn’t a great idea—that it would be expensive, that you didn’t want to place that financial burden on them, that you’d rather stay closer to home and your friends. What you didn’t disclose was that you’d rather not be anywhere near Bakugo.

They dismissed your concerns, insisting you didn’t know what you were talking about. You should be excited that a hero recommended you—it would be rude to disrespect a hero like that, they said. Do you think you know better? Eventually, they bullied you into agreeing.

And so, there you were, ready to join Class 1-C.

"This won’t be so bad?" you muttered under your breath, using the palms of your hands to flatten your uniform’s skirt and straighten your tie. You adjusted the strap of your school bag over your shoulder, took a deep breath, and forced a smile on your face—whether it was genuine or not.

The first year went by fast, and you were already in the middle of your second year, but you were drowning. Overwhelmed by your parents pressure to do well in your studies, and struggling because you still hadn't made any close friends��if any at all. You began to feel more sensitive to teachers' criticism. Riddled with anxiety whenever you saw Bakugo in the hallways, even though he barely paid you any attention.

That’s when you started sneaking out of the dorms at night.

Was it because of loneliness? Boredom? The crushing weight of responsibilities and missed, late schoolwork? You didn’t know.

But you knew that, out there, you could finally breathe.

A deep inhale of fresh air. The darkness and coolness of the night surrounding you. No thoughts—just the sound of the world asleep, the occasional car passing by.

It became a habit. Slipping out for a few hours. At first, you stayed on campus, walking the grounds, avoiding security. You had a spot near the forest where you would simply lie down and watch the stars. Then, you started venturing into the town surrounding UA.

You were surprised by how different it was at night. During the day, it was just another city. But at night? The streets were alive—vivid lights, bustling crowds, music, laughter, the smell of street food wafting through the air. You felt like an outsider at UA high, but it was different when you went out at night. At first, you were nervous to explore. You stuck to familiar places close to school, opting to visit a ramen shop, and after a warm meal, your belly full, your eyelids grew heavy. You began to get ready to leave, until a young man—who looked about your age—smiled at you. You glanced down, blushing. He approached the table. "Hello," he greeted. You hesitated but nodded. "You can sit next to me if you’d like."

You talked. What felt like minutes turned into an hour. He never ordered anything, but eventually, he asked if you’d like to walk around town. You agreed. He was polite. A gentleman, you thought. Opening doors for you, holding your bag, eventually—your hand.

You felt flattered. Someone was finally paying attention to you.

Your quiet, shy demeanor often came off as rude to others, but in reality, being sheltered for so long had made you excel academically but fail socially. So when a cute boy your age showed interest, you felt a warmth in your chest.

He bought you tea. Took you to a park. The two of you sat on a bench, watching the koi fish in a pond. Then, you looked up and caught him staring at you. His face instantly flushed, sheepishly laughed and quickly looked away. You giggled. Finally, he asked, "So, what’re you doing out here so late? A girl as pretty as you shouldn’t be out here on the mean streets all alone," he joked.

You laughed, explaining how you felt like you couldn’t breathe inside the dorms, how you were stressed from loneliness, overwhelmed by homework. You rambled, spilling your guts to a stranger.

But he let you.

You apologized for talking so much, but he simply shook his head.

"No need to apologize. I understand. I was going to a high school around here, but I eventually dropped out. My parents kicked me out, and now I live in an apartment down here."

You frowned. "Hmm… I’m sorry."

"I'm alright. I'd rather live on my own than have my parents nagging me every day. Better this way," he said. You agreed, somewhat relating to his situation. "Especially since I can do this all I want now." He pulled out what looked like a cigarette, lit it, and took a slow drag. "Oh shit, sorry. Did you want some?" he asked while letting out a cough. You shook your head. "Oh no, thank you. What even is it?" He smirked. "Weed." You gave him a confused look. "Devil's lettuce?" he teased. "Cannabis?" You laughed, turning red, embarrassed by your own naivety. You had heard of it, of course, but you had never seen or smelled it before.

Suddenly, you were fascinated. "What does it do?" you asked curiously. He smiled. "C'mere."

You leaned in, and so did he—until his lips pressed against yours. You kissed him back, only to feel smoke filling your lungs. You coughed, your eyes widening. Then, out of nowhere, an overwhelming urge to laugh took over you, so you did. And so did he.

That night was the beginning.

Sneaking out to meet him, to smoke, to escape—it became a habit. A few weeks passed, and then he introduced you to alcohol. Then, other substances.

You started spending nights at his apartment.

You felt guilty, knowing your parents and teachers would disapprove of this behavior. But you didn’t care.

The stress, the loneliness, the weight of expectations—it all disappeared when you were with him, when you were using. You began to love being high.

You barely made it through your second year with passing grades. You were forced to take summer classes. Eventually, the school had to intervene. A meeting was called with your parents, the principal, and the vice principal. They listed everything—your grades, your frequent absences, your improper dresscode.

"We’re so very sorry for our daughter. Please excuse her shameful behavior. We have failed as parents, but we will do our best to get her back on the right path," your parents exclaimed, bowing their heads in shame.

You sat there, numb. Unmoved. It wasn’t until after the meeting that your parents let loose, yelling at you for what felt like hours. You tried to find your passion for studying again, but the truth was, your real passion had become the feeling of being inebriated.

Eventually, you learned how to balance doing the bare minimum in school while still getting high your last year. You started sneaking your friend into the dorms, buying drugs from him, getting high in your room.

"Wow, this school is for rich kids, huh? You never told me you went to a rich kid school. Are you rich?" he asked, looking around with amusement. You laughed at his dorky demeanor. "No, I’m not. My stupid parents made me go here on a scholarship. I hate it." He chuckled, and you sighed. That night, you showed him around campus, wandering the grounds.

Eventually, you stopped by a vending machine, digging into your pocket for some change. Then, you heard footsteps. You turned quickly, covering his mouth with your hand. "Be quiet," you mouthed, bringing a finger to your lips.

His eyes widened.

You could tell—he was scared. Scared to be caught, to be punished. Arrested... again. Then, just like that, your oh-so-reliable friend chose to run. You slapped your forehead and groaned loudly. The footsteps were getting closer. Panic set in. You crouched down, pressing yourself against the vending machine side, hoping—praying—that whoever was approaching wouldn’t walk past.

You shut your eyes. Your heart pounded in your ears.

Then—

"What’re you doing crouching by a vending machine?"

Your eyes snapped open.

Bakugo.

Relief left your lungs in a sharp exhale. "Oh, it’s just you," you muttered.

He lifted an eyebrow. "Just me?"

"Nothing. Never mind."

Quickly, you got up, dusted off your knees, and tried to walk past him—only to feel a firm hand grip the sleeve of your collar.

"Who was that with you?" he demanded.

"Who? What? He was n— I mean, there was no one with me."

"Hey!" He shoved you back against the vending machine.

Your breath hitched.

"I don’t need off-campus losers sneaking in and causing problems for me. I’m on my way to the top, and I don’t have time for trash like that screwing things up. Keep your outside garbage out there."

You scoffed, shoving his hand off of you.

"Shut up. You don’t know anything. It’s dark out. You thought you saw two people? It was just me. Go get your eyes checked."

He pushed your arms to your sides and growled, "Listen, I know what I saw, and by the looks of it, you shouldn’t be hanging out with someone like that anyway."

You stayed silent. "I can smell the alcohol on your breath. Your hair reeks of smoke. And you look like you belong on the street right now," he seethed. You held your breath.

"What’s it matter to you?" you finally spat. "One less person to get in your way of becoming a hero, right?" He didn’t reply. So, you kept talking. "So what? You gonna tell someone? Go ahead. Do it. I don’t care anymore anyway." Your voice cracked. You looked down in shame, muttering the last part under your breath.

He sighed. "You used to be an honors student. Maybe I should tell someone—get you kicked out. Not like it’ll make much of a difference whether you’re here or not. You don’t talk to anyone here anyway,” he muttered the last part.

That was it. That was the last straw. You mustered up the courage and drove your knee into his crotch. His grip on you instantly loosened as he grunted in pain. Wasting no time, you grabbed your bag from the ground and bolted.

You didn’t stop running until you felt you were far enough away. Only then did you glance back—he was gone. When you finally reached your dorm, you collapsed onto your bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

The next few weeks were spent in a state of paranoia. Every time a teacher so much as glanced your way, your heart pounded, fearing they’d pull you aside, take you to the office, and demand to search your bag. You tried to keep a low profile. No more using in the dorms. No more using at all. But it was too difficult. After a month, it became clear—Bakugo wasn’t going to say anything. Even so, you vowed never to bring your friend onto campus again. Instead, you snuck out at night, bought what you needed, and returned immediately.

That was supposed to be the end of it. But then, you started to feel it—eyes on you. Watching. Walking from class to class. At lunch. During breaks.

It was Bakugo.

You avoided eye contact at all costs. If I don’t acknowledge him, he’ll eventually stop. But he didn’t. Instead, it led to painfully awkward encounters—bumping into each other in the hallways, turning a corner only to find him there.

You even spotted him hanging around outside the 1-C dormitories. You brushed it off. It’s just a coincidence. He must know someone here. He just happened to be there at the same time as me. Still, a voice in the back of your mind nagged at you. Why would he care about a failing, drug-using student like me?

One night, for the first time in a while, you decided to sneak out again. Creeping out of your bottom-story dormitory window, you took a quiet walk across the school grounds, heading downtown.

Just as you were about to put your headphones in, you felt one being yanked from your ear.

You jumped, heart pounding—Bakugo.

"Where d'ya think you're going? Academic students have a curfew."

You scoffed. "I could say the same for you, hero course."

You put your headphone back in and kept walking, ignoring him. But he grabbed your bag. Hard. You barely had time to react before the force yanked you backward. He caught you before you hit the ground.

"Hey, what the hell is your problem?" you snapped, shoving him off.

"You're my problem, junkie."

You scoffed, disgusted. "I'm not a junkie," you muttered under your breath. But then he grabbed your bag again, and this time, everything inside went flying onto the pavement.

Panic set in. You scrambled to pick up your things before he could see—but it was too late. His eyes scanned the scattered items: a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, a pipe, multiple baggies—powders, pills, and plants.

His face went cold.

The amusement in harassing you disappeared instantly. "Fuck off already," you spat, stuffing everything back into your bag.

"I didn't realize it was this bad."

You didn’t reply. You just turned and speed-walked away.

He didn’t follow.

And you were relieved.

Months passed. Your grades tanked your 3rd year. Your addiction got worse. Skipping classes became routine—opting instead to get high at your friend’s apartment. "Alright, I'm gonna head out and re-up on that shit you like," he said, shutting the door behind him. You lay sprawled across his bed, sheets messy, clothes and empty beer cans scattered on the floor.

A cigarette dangled from your lips as you practiced blowing smoke rings. Minutes passed.

Then, the door creaked open."Hey, back already? Finally. Let's get this party started," you called out, pushing yourself up.

But as you stepped into the living room, you froze.

Standing there, bloodied and bruised, was Bakugo.

You stared.

So did he. For a long, suffocating moment, neither of you spoke.

Then, finally, you found your voice. "Whose blood is that?"

Silence.

His fists, still clenched, dripped with blood. His knuckles were torn open. He stepped closer.

"We graduate soon, y'know," he muttered. "Only a few weeks left."

Something about him felt different—more dangerous.

His presence was overwhelming. He had only grown taller, stronger over the past 2 years. Meanwhile, you felt like you had only gotten smaller.

"I'm gonna be a full-fledged hero soon." He let out a dry laugh. "My parents helped me tour condominiums. I have one now too,” he bragged.

Your heart pounded. He was dodging your question. And he was still getting closer.

Your mind raced. I just need to get past him. Run out the door. It'll be fine. "Yeah. That’s cool, Bakugo. Good for you." You forced a nod. "Listen, what are you doing her—"

"That scum you hang around with," he interrupted. "You realize he's corrupting you? And you're too much of an idiot to know any better."

Another step forward.

You moved back, knocking over a lamp. Glass shattered, startling you. "Yeah, he's just a friend I like to hang out with. I was lon—"

"You had me!" Bakugo snapped. Your breath hitched. "You could’ve talked to me."

Your brow furrowed. "What do you mean? You were in class 1-A, and I was in 1-C. I barely saw you."

"I mean as a kid." The words hit like a brick. "You barely made eye contact with me. Always thinking you were better than me. But look at you now." He sneered. "You're desperate for someone to come rescue you."

Your jaw clenched. "I don't need anyone to rescue me, Bakugo. I think you should go."

You backed up again—only to hit the wall.

Nowhere left to go. Bakugo exhaled through his nose, staring down at you. "I’m gonna help you. You’ll sober up. Gain some weight."

Your stomach twisted. "Let’s just make this easy on both of us. Come with me."

For a moment, you were silent. Then, you burst into laughter. It was loud, almost hysterical—whether it was genuine or not, you weren’t sure.

"You find this funny?"

"Yes! I do, actually!" you snapped. "I’m practically an adult! You can’t just take me. I’m not your responsibility. Now move."

You motioned for him to step aside.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he grabbed your wrist. Instinct kicked in. "Hey, get the fuck off me—!" In a blink, he flipped you over his back.

Panic surged through you. You kicked, heels slamming into his legs, struggling to break free—But his grip was like iron. And for the first time in your life… You were genuinely terrified. You pounded your fists against his back, kicked your legs, did anything to try and break free. But you were still coming down from a high—your movements sluggish, weak, useless.

Bakugo didn’t waver. His grip was iron, his hold on you unrelenting.

"Don’t worry," he kept muttering under his breath. "I’m gonna get you out of this shithole." When he pushed open the apartment stairway door, you were met with a sight that made your stomach drop.

Your friend—beaten, bruised, and bloody—lay motionless on the ground.

You screamed.

"Let go of me, you psychopath!"

He ignored you. Without hesitation, he dragged you outside and threw you into the trunk of his car. Before you could fight back, your wrists and ankles were bound tightly with zip ties. The trunk slammed shut, sealing you in darkness.

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. The drive felt endless. Every bump in the road made your restraints dig deeper into your skin. Your mind raced. Where was he taking you? What was he going to do?

By the time the car finally stopped and the trunk opened, the cold night air rushed over you. As soon as you saw an opening, you lunged, trying to make a break for it.

You didn’t get far. In seconds, he was on you—pinning you to the ground, his weight pressing you into the dirt.

"Calm the fuck down. I’m helping you." You thrashed, screamed for help, but no one came. His palm pressed against your wrists, keeping you restrained as he dragged you inside.

You barely had time to process before you were inside a large condominium—immaculate, modern, and painfully unfamiliar.

Your chest heaved, lungs burning from exertion and panic. "Why are you doing this?" Your voice cracked. "Why do you even care?"

He didn’t answer.

He just threw you to the floor and sliced the zip ties off your wrists with a pocket knife. The moment your hands were free, you lunged at him, fists swinging wildly.

He barely flinched. Within seconds, he had you pinned again, his hand tightening around your throat as he lifted you against the wall. His crimson eyes burned into yours, his grip just shy of suffocating.

"Lose this fucking attitude before I get pissed." Fury boiled inside you. You spit in his face. The instant it landed, you regretted it.

His jaw tensed. Without a word, he grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked you toward a door.

Pain shot through your scalp, but you barely had time to react before you were being dragged down a flight of stairs—into the basement.

It was cold. Damp. The air was heavy with dust and mildew. Your stomach dropped. "Bakugo—" He shoved you against a metal support beam and began tying your wrists together with an extension cord to the beam. The plastic of the cord and cold metal beam bit into your skin. You thrashed, screamed louder—but your throat burned, raw from all the yelling.

No one came. No one was going to. With a final tug, he secured the knot, turned, and walked up the stairs.

The basement door slammed shut. Darkness swallowed you whole. For the first time since this nightmare began, you let yourself cry. Tears rolled down your cheeks, hot and bitter, as you tried to process what had just happened.

How had it come to this? You screamed again—until your throat ached too much to continue. You were thirsty. You were cold. You were alone. Eventually, exhaustion overtook your body, and you passed out.

When you woke, the basement door creaked open. Heavy footsteps echoed down the stairs.

Bakugo.

In his hands, he carried a bucket and a towel. You scrambled back as far as your restraints would allow, pressing yourself against the cold beam. He crouched down, soaking the towel in water before wringing it out. Without a word, he reached forward, pressing it against your face.

You jerked away instantly, turning your head to avoid his touch.

But he was persistent. Every time you moved, he followed. Until, finally, he grabbed your chin—forcing you to look at him. His grip wasn’t as harsh as before, but it was firm.

And for the first time since this all began, he was silent. No threats. No taunts. Just silence. Slowly, he wiped away the sweat and dirt clinging to your skin.

Then, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of scissors. Your breath hitched. The cold metal grazed your arm, and for a moment, panic surged inside you. You were trembling now, eyes wide, heart hammering— But then, with a single motion, he began cutting your uniform away. Fabric fell in shreds, leaving you in just a bra and underwear. A fresh wave of humiliation crashed over you, your body shaking violently from both the cold and fear. Still, he said nothing.

He continued wiping down your arms, your stomach, your legs—his touch clinical, methodical. Your heartbeat was so loud you swore he could hear it. Then, just as quickly as it started, it was over. He pulled a clean T-shirt over your body—his, oversized and heavy with the scent of burnt caramel and musk.

Without another word, he tossed the bucket aside. "You can piss and shit in here." The bucket clattered against the floor. Then, he turned to leave.

You hesitated before finally croaking out, "What time is it?" He glanced over his shoulder. And then he walked away. The door slammed shut again. You were left in the dark. Alone.

Again.

Hours passed. The high had faded, leaving you raw. Your body ached, your hands trembled. The first waves of withdrawal crept in—irritability, nausea, a gnawing anxiety that only grew with every second that passed. God, you just wanted a cigarette.

Something. Anything. But there was nothing.

Eventually, exhaustion overtook you once more, and you drifted into an uneasy sleep. When you woke again, sunlight barely crept through a small basement window in the corner. Your mind reeled.

They’ll notice I’m not in class. Someone will report me missing. They’ll find my friend—he’ll tell them what happened. They’ll come for me. They have to.

You held onto that hope, clinging to it like a lifeline. Then, the basement door opened again. Bakugo descended the stairs, carrying a plate of food and a glass of water. He crouched in front of you, set the plate down, then picked up a spoon. He scooped up a bite and motioned it toward your mouth.

You blinked. Then, you laughed. Loud and sharp. "Get that the fuck away from me, you creep. I don’t want th—" Before you could finish your sentence, a spoonful of food was shoved into your mouth.

You gagged, immediately spitting it onto the cold basement floor in defiance. Bakugo’s jaw ticked. Without a word, he scooped up another bite and forced it into your mouth, this time clamping a hand over your lips and pinching your nose shut.

"Swallow, and you get to breathe."

You held out for as long as you could, glaring at him through watery eyes. But the dizziness crept in, black dots dancing in your vision. He wasn’t bluffing. You swallowed. Air rushed into your lungs as he finally let go. "Good."

He kept going, shoving spoonful after spoonful past your lips until the bowl was empty. Your stomach twisted painfully, not used to eating this much after months of skipping meals, but he didn’t care.

Finally, he held the glass of water toward you.

You hesitated. "Drink." This time, you did. Your throat ached from screaming, raw and burning, and the cool water was a welcome relief.

Bakugo watched you the entire time, crimson eyes never wavering. For a while, he just sat there, studying you like you were some puzzle he was trying to solve. You swallowed thickly.

"You know someone's going to realize I'm missing," you finally said, voice hoarse. "They’ll come looking for me. And when they do, say goodbye to your career."

For a moment, he didn’t react. Then, he smiled. A slow, knowing smile. "Yeah? Guess we’ll have to see, huh?" Your stomach dropped. He was too confident. Too calm. You looked away, your earlier bravado suddenly cracking.

"What?" His voice was smug. "Where’d that smart attitude go now?"

You clenched your fists, biting your lip to keep from trembling. The cold of the basement seeped into your bones, the only sound was the distant hum of life continuing without you. You weren’t sure what scared you more—the situation you were in, or the sinking realization that maybe… just maybe… no one was coming to save you.

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websterss · 8 months ago

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CHICKEN AND PASTA — CONRAD HAWKINS

REQUEST: Im a new follower and I must say the Imagines are just so....👌🏼🥹Anyway saw you were writing for Conrad Hawkins. Could you do one where Yn takes care of a patient who has a crush on Conrad. She gets defensive and tells Yn to back off Conrad and Yn shrugs it off. Later the patient was watching Yn and Conrad hug and kiss and she snaps. She waits til yn is alone and she stabs or attacks yn and leaves her to die. As Conrad gets ready to go home he starts to look for Yn but finds her wounded. I'll let you pick the ending. Im such a sucker for angst. 😭 Hope this makes sense 💙☺️ @megafandomsxassemble

WARNING(S): angst, mentions of blood, stab wounds, and knife, mentions of baby loss, crazy grace

WORD COUNT: 5,485

PAIRING: Conrad Hawkins x fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it love! Feedback is always welcomed! <33

MASTERLIST

You had looked up when a foam cup was plopped right in front of you. You set your clipboard down as you follow the arm of the culprit. Conrad has his head tilted, a sweet smile gracing your very long morning. “Beautiful.” He compliments your very clearly disheveled state.

You roll your eyes but take the coffee he brought for you. You mouth a thank you before giving him your full attention. “What’s the catch?” You smirk.

Conrad chuckles at your remark. His brown orbs scan your tired features. “There you go again, assuming I have some ulterior motive.” He says, feigning offense. He leans a hip against your desk as he watches you take a drink of the coffee he so graciously retrieved for you. “Can’t I bring my fiance a cup of coffee out of the pure goodness of my heart?”

“You can…but something lies behind those devious eyes.” You squint up at him, swirling the end of your pen in front of his face.

Conrad laughs, his grin wide. He tilts his head, his light curls bouncing lightly. He brings his index finger up, gently pressing your forehead so you’re no longer squinting. “There. Much better.” He teases. He shakes his head, the playful smirk never leaving his features. He crosses his arms, leaning in to get a closer look at your tired state. “Rough night?”

“More like rough morning. Your number one fan is here…again.” A teasing smile begins to form on your face.

Conrad raises an eyebrow at that. He knew exactly who you were talking about. “What is she being admitted for this time?” He says, unable to contain the amused smirk.

You sigh and gesture to the paperwork sitting in front of him. He meets your eye and then turns the clipboard around and begins to read.

Conrad can’t fight the scoff that escapes his lips as he reads through it. The same symptoms as last time: elevated heart rate, high blood pressure, and dizziness, among many other minor symptoms. Every time it was the same. Other than the fractured radius and ulnar, today. Nothing was ever, truly, wrong.

“Broke her arm chasing after her dog…” Conrad shakes his head as he gently sets the clipboard back on your desk. “Nic around?”

“Just missed her. She just finished her double shift.” You shook your head.

Conrad’s eyes widened in surprise, though he didn’t know why. Nic’s determination to overwork herself was no secret. He huffed a heavy sigh, taking a seat on the edge of the desk. “Of course she did…” He mutters under his breath. “You’re with me today.”

“Can already feel my day turning around, but I figured so I checked her vitals and heart already. So you just need to repeat everything I just did, doc.” You chipped with a smile on your face. You gather your things and make your way to Grace’s room. Conrad's number one fan, or rather his stalker as you like to secretly call her.

Conrad rolls his eyes at your comment and follows behind you, his long strides easily keeping pace with yours. “Careful,” He warns, unable to contain his smile, “flattery will get you everywhere.”

The pair of you enter Grace’s room where she is, unsurprisingly, perched on the edge of her bed. Her broken arm is clutched to her chest, a pout on her face. Upon seeing the two of you, her face lights up.

“Dr. Hawkins!” She squeals, waving and making grabby hands in his direction. Conrad sighs, a forced, painfully fake smile on his face as he approaches her to examine her. He casts a sideways look in your direction as if to say ‘Save me’.

“Hi nurse, Y/n.” She makes sure to greet you with a warm welcome.

“Hi Grace, how’s the morphine doing, kicking in a bit I see.” You contain your laughter as you see her more giggly than how she was when she first arrived.

Conrad looks over at you. He has to hide his chuckle as you tease her for her morphine-induced goofy behavior. “So,” He starts. “The dog was too much for you I see?”

“Yes. I don’t think I’m much of a dog person. Any other pets you could recommend for me, Dr. Hawkins?”

Conrad looks over at you.

“You could always try a Guinea Pig. My niece has one. Easy little things to take care of.” You shrug. Grace locks eyes with you, considering your suggestion. She nods then looks back to him.

“Is a Guinea Pig easy to take care of, Dr. Hawkins?”

Conrad hums, pretending to think. He scratches at his chin, pretending as if there is some deep thought going through his head. “A Guinea Pig is very easy to take care of Grace.” He says, a playful smirk growing on his face. “Very easy.”

He turns an expectant look in your direction, his lips twitching to suppress a grin.

“Yes, very easy. A Guinea pig is less likely to cause fractures. No running, no need to train them. Easy as pie.” You breathe out a laugh.

Conrad has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing. He can’t fight the way his eyes gleam at how thoroughly you are enjoying yourself teasing his…fan. “No risk of broken bones chasing them around. Sounds like a good fit for you.”

"I'll have to stop by a pet store later then." She nods. Unlike Conrad, you had a feeling she would stay true to her promise to get the damn rodent. The idea unsettled you just as it did the last time when she bought a dog after he recommended getting one, to keep her company as he lightly put it.

Conrad’s stomach drops at the thought of Grace following through on her promise. He knew she was gullible, but if what you were saying was true and she took his recommendation to heart and bought a dog…he would have to be more careful with what came out of his mouth.

“Maybe…stay away from animals for now?” He suggests, casting a concerned glance your way. "Alright, Grace I'm gonna go ahead and order you an x-ray and an MRI just to be on the safe side. You said you've been experiencing a bit of a headache, you said you hit your head when you fell?"

"Yeah...on concrete, is that bad?" She moves her eyes back and forth from you two. Conrad cast you a glance.

Conrad winces at her casual response. “Well, you’d probably be experiencing something a bit stronger than a minor headache if there was anything truly wrong.” He says as a means to comfort her as she sits at the edge of her bed.

He reaches out, gently prodding at the back of her head. He pulled out a light and had her follow his finger. “How hard did you hit your head?”

"My vision was blurred for a few minutes. I think someone asked if I was okay before I got up, took Ceecee home, and then came straight here." She blinks up at him. "You'll fix me right up though, right, Dr, Hawkins?"

He gives her a nod and a reassuring smile. “You’re in the best of hands.” He reassures her, ignoring the skeptical scoff you let out beside him. “I’ll make sure we get to the bottom of that headache.”

"In the meantime, just wait here, I will be back to reset your bones." You pat her shoulder.

She looks at your hand and then nods. Conrad casts her a wink before exiting with you, not thinking anything more by it.

Conrad takes your elbow, a light tug letting you know that he wants to leave the room. He gives Grace one last comforting smile, "We'll be right back." He said, opening the door and ushering you out.

Once out of the room, Conrad's smile falls from his face and is replaced with a concerned frown. He lowers his voice slightly, so only you can hear him. "She actually bought a dog?"

"Well Dr. Hawkins…when you flash her that dazzling smile and hold her gently, how can she resist doing everything that comes out your damn mouth!" Your smile vanishes as you smack him. "She's getting worse. Okay, this is turning into outright obsessive behavior, and if you don't put a stop to her Conrad, she'll display stalker-like traits."

Conrad flinches at the smack to his chest, a glare tossed right back in your direction. "Not funny." He points at you and the way you emphasized his name like she had.

“What do you suggest I do, hm?” Conrad asks, a hint of irritation in his tone. “Walk up to a patient and tell them to stop getting hurt, to call for another doctor?"

"Well that idea sounds a whole lot better than the Guinea Pig-" You jump away with a laugh when he scoffs and tries to tickle you.

Conrad lunges at you, grabbing a flailing arm and tugging you back in his direction. He takes advantage of your distraction, going straight for your sides, his fingers digging into your ribs. His own smirk grows wider as he hears your laughter fill the hallway.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Your head falls. "I can't breathe."

Conrad stops and grins, but he doesn’t release you. He keeps his arms loosely wrapped around your waist and watches as you struggle to catch your breath. He laughs softly as he watches you lean forward, your head resting against his chest.

“You’re impossible.” He says, his fingers idly rubbing against your side.

"That's improbable to you." You lift your head with a teasing smile.

Conrad groans, rolling his eyes at your quip. He can’t keep the smile off his face, though. His fingers still rubbing against your sides. "Pain in my ass…" He said, but the words lacked any real bite behind them. He leans in as you hum in amusement.

"That so, Dr Hawkins."

Conrad huffs, his chest rising and falling with his laughter. His eyes darken as he looks down at you, his smirk turning more wicked. He leans in further, his face only inches from your own. "Say it again." He says, his voice now a few octaves deeper than normal.

"Dr Hawkins." Your laugh is stifled when he presses his lips to yours in a sweet long kiss.

Conrad hums against your lips, an arm snaking around your waist to drag you closer. He leans back against the wall that the two of you were standing in front of, a hand coming up to cup the back of your neck. He deepens the kiss, a sharp pang of desire striking at his core as he pushes you gently back against the wall.

But before it could escalate any further, your pager goes off. You groan and push him away slightly. "Duty calls." You whine.

Conrad groans at the noise and he steps back, reluctantly tearing his gaze and his arms away from you. He pushes his messy hair back off his forehead, still slightly breathless. He lets his eyes wander over your disheveled form, knowing full well that the two of you would've gotten caught up in that hallway had the pager not interrupted.

He brings a hand up to his own pager in his pocket that went off, shutting it off. "Duty indeed calls." He sighed, his heart still racing. "What would you like for dinner?"

You gasp. "Are you offering to cook?" You hum at the idea.

Conrad laughs and shakes his head at your excitement and enthusiasm for the idea of his cooking. "Don't look so surprised." He remarks, his expression changing to a playful smirk. "Yes, I'll cook tonight. What do you want?"

"Surprise me." You shrug, walking backwards.

Conrad rolls his eyes, though he's smiling as he watches you walk away. He can't help but admire the view, his gaze lingering on your form for just a little too long. "You got mad last time when I did." He calls after you.

"Chicken, with Pasta!" You call out as you reach the corner you need to turn.

Conrad huffs a laugh at the request. "Done!" He calls out to you as he heads in the opposite direction. "Chicken and pasta it is..." He sighs, then laughs to himself.

What you both hadn't realized was the shadow lurking and watching from afar. A scowl replaced her sweet smile moments before when she heard his voice outside her room. Her breathing picks up as she heads back into her room. Grace sits at the edge of her bed and looks down at the fractured bones, broken at a dipped angle. Before she could even think twice about it, she settled them back into place.

The pain was nothing like how betrayed her heart had felt. Conrad had his interest in someone else. You.

A few minutes had passed before you had gone to check up on Grace again. To ensure that she was situated with the cast that she would need to wear for a few weeks. "Grace?" You announced yourself, as you peered down at your clipboard again. When you looked up, your heart dropped upon seeing her bed empty. It was only when the door slammed behind you that you grew scared. "Grace?" You looked at her and then at the knife she held in her left hand, how she came into possession of it you hadn't known.

"You kissed him…" She muttered softly. "I didn't realize he had his eyes set on someone else. I thought what we had was just between us. I'm so stupid!" You flinch at her exclaim.

Your eyes widened when you saw the tears in her eyes. The grip she held on the hospital knife was tight, her knuckles almost turning white. "Grace, no, listen to me!" You quickly moved to try and reach out to her but stopped short when she snapped.

"Stay back!" You held your hands up in surrender, holding in the sharp inhale you desperately wanted to take. "You took him from me!"

"I didn't know..." She looks up at you. "If I had known how much you liked him. I wouldn't have kissed him." You play along with her in hopes she won't hurt herself, or you. It was only then that you realized her bones were settled back into place. "Grace what happened to your arm did you- did you put them back into place?" You were shocked.

Grace's eyes flit down to her arm, a frown on her face. "I needed to feel something…" She said softly. "I needed to feel something other than the pain in my heart."

She looks up at you again, her grip on the knife never faltering. "Why was it you, huh? Why not me? What do you have that I don't? I go out of my way to have him examine me, and spend time with me. I was this close to getting him alone today, but then I saw him kiss you..."

"I ask myself that every day, Grace. I don't know why he chose me. Things just happen, people come into your life and you go from there with them."

She scowls at that response, her eyes narrowing into a glare. "You're around him too much…" The knife trembles in her grip. "That's why he's been distracted lately."

She took a step closer, and you instinctively found yourself stepping back in response. Her glare darkened, now laced with jealousy and possessiveness. "I wonder…" She says slowly, almost as if she's contemplating her next words. "Maybe if you weren't around so much anymore, I could finally have my chance…"

"Grace, please don't!" Your plea is ignored. She continues to step closer to you, her eyes glued on you and the way you flinch away from her.

"Why not?" She presses. "You get to be around him, you get to kiss him. It's not fair. He's supposed to be mine! I should be the one that gets to kiss him!"

"If you hurt me, Grace. Conrad will never forgive you. He won't want to kiss you."

Grace's bottom lip trembled at your words. It's clear that your words are getting to her, her eyes filling with tears and her gaze averting down to the floor. She knows that you're right. But her jealousy and obsession over Conrad was too strong. Her head lifts and she looks at you again, her grip on the knife tightening. "I don't care…" She whispers, her voice now trembling, and before you know it the end of the knife had met your abdomen, and then your chest. "If I can't have him, neither will you." She lowers you to the ground gently, caressing your hair as you wheeze for air.

"Grac-" You muster before, she gets up and leaves the room.

Grace was gone as quickly as she came, leaving you in a quickly darkening room as the edges of your vision slowly started to blacken. You hear a faint 'excuse me' in the distance, then another voice saying to go up the elevator, but they all turn muffled as you feel your consciousness slowly slip away.

"I'd probably run a CT Scan. Make sure we're not dealing with any internal bleeding-"

"Dr. Hawkins..." Conrad and Devon looked up in time to see Grace stop a few feet away from them. Both Conrad and Devon's eyes widened when they saw the blood on her shirt. Conrad's breath caught in his throat in his own wave of panic, but he forced himself to remain focused, to remain calm.

Conrad put down the clipboard Devon had given him and put his hands out cautiously. The two main things that caught his attention were the blood on her shirt and left hand and the fact her bones didn't appear to look broken on her right arm especially since there was no cast on it either. "Hi, Grace...You okay? Wanna tell me what happened?"

"I'm better now seeing you." She smiled earnestly, though hesitation still arose behind her eyes as she realized she had an audience.

Conrad forced a smile onto his face, glancing briefly in Devon's direction, signaling to the crash cart discreetly. He took a few steps forward, keeping a safe distance from her, but still close enough that he could reach her if he needed to. "That…That's good to hear, Grace." He said slowly. "But I was referring more to the blood on your clothes. Grace, who's blood is that? I won't be mad if you tell me."

Grace shook her head. "You will. She said you wouldn't kiss me if I hurt her. I don't want you to be mad at me."

Conrad's heart dropped at her response, though his expression didn't give it away. "…You didn't." He muttered, and it was more of a statement than a question. He took another few steps forward, his eyes boring into hers. “Who told you that, Grace?” Conrad asked, his voice now taking on a slightly lower tone. "Did you accidentally hurt someone? Someone you didn't mean to hurt. You can tell me I won't get mad." His tone was soft again, his eyes still focused on her. The gears were already turning in his head on who her victim was but he didn't want it to be true. "But I need you to tell me who's blood that is, Grace."

"I'll tell you, b-but you have to kiss me first. She said you wouldn't and I want to prove her wrong."

Conrad was tempted to grab her and shake her, to demand answers. But he knew that wasn't the answer. He kept his cool and took another step forward, so he was now directly in front of her and within reaching distance. "Okay," He said slowly, his eyes searching her face. "You want a kiss first, I'll kiss you."

"You will." Her eyes lightened with hope.

Conrad swallows the lump in his throat and slowly steps closer, bringing a hand up to cup the side of her face. He leans in, pausing for a moment. His hand brushed back a strand of her hair as she gazed at him like he hung the stars in her sky. He stalls and presses his head against her as he watches Devon come in from behind her. A sedative in his hands. Conrad tries once more hoping she'll open up about your whereabouts. "Where is she, Grace?" He whispered.

"I don't like pasta very much, but maybe we can get takeout sometime." Is as much as she lets out before the syringe is plunged into the vein on her neck.

Conrad watches as Grace's eyes widen and slowly glaze over. A moment later her body goes slack, and he catches her before she can fall. He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he watches her body drop into a deep slumber. The realization settles, how Grace had been listening to the conversation you both had been having. You both hadn't been far from her room either. Devon appears at his side, a nervous look on his face. "Conrad, what the hell just happened?" Devon questions, checking Grace's pulse. "Conrad!" He yells after him as he sees him begin to take off into a run.

"Start prepping an O.R. now! Page Mina and possibly AJ! Page anyone to floor 3 now!" Conrad doesn't wait for a response. Devon ordered a few nurses to watch over her, giving orders on where to take her. Before taking off after Conrad.

"Conrad!"

"It's Y/n's blood!" Devon's face pales as he tries to keep up with him.

Conrad pushes through the doors, cursing under his breath as he sprints down the halls of floor 3. Fear and adrenaline pump through his veins, his heart thundering in his chest.

Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay…please. His thoughts chanted as he reached Grace's room.

Conrad doesn't think twice before bursting into the room. He chokes back a sob as he sees you in a puddle of your own blood. He acts fast checking for your pulse. "Baby hey, can you hear me?"

"We need a gurney and crash cart, now! Some gauze!" Devon orders to anyone listening in the halls. "Conrad, what the hell is happening, who was the girl?"

"Her name's Grace she comes in twice a month to see me."

"To see you?"

"Y/n thinks she's obsessed with me. Turns out she was right. Last month Grace had mentioned how lonely she felt living in her apartment. Now I'm starting to realize she probably meant other forms of company. I suggested she get a dog…"

"She bought a dog didn't she...oh god!"

"Y/n, baby, can you hear me!" Conrad continued patting your face. "Grace came in this morning, she broke her hand chasing after the suggested dog. I didn't think- I should've realized! Where's that damn crash cart!" Conrad yells out angrily.

A scowl takes over his face as he checks for any other wounds, but all he can see is the deep stab wound in the side of your stomach and on your chest. The nurses arrive wheeling along a gurney and a crash cart. Conrad snaps out of his thoughts and focuses on the situation at hand, grabbing the gauze from one of the nurses and pressing it firmly to your bleeding wounds.

"Damnit, baby, just hold on okay? Keep fighting." He muttered, eyes trained on your face.

He doesn't wait for the nurses to transfer you to the gurney, instead, he picks you up himself, holding you to his chest as he carefully lays you down on the gurney. Devon and the rest of the staff stand off to the side, watching as Conrad moves around you, keeping a firm grip on the gauze on the wounds as the nurses wheel you out into the hallway and towards the E.R.

"She was stabbed. Wound to her chest, and to her abdomen."

"Her pulse is barely there."

"She's in v-tech," Irving announced as he looked up at the monitor.

"Lost a pulse!"

"Someone get the defibrillator."

"They're gone we don't have one." Ellen reminded them.

"It's her heart..." Conrad was sure Grace had stabbed you right where she knew it would hurt you.

"We need to set up an OR now, we're losing her!" Conrad insisted urgently.

"Do we even have a functioning OR?"

"We'll put one together!" Bell and Kit said.

"Call staff back in, now!"

They began wheeling you to the OR when a wheeze and a cough broke out from your unconscious state. Blood spilled past your lips onto your oxygen mask.

"She's haematemesis!" Conrad exclaims. "Hold on for me baby, stay with us! She's choking on her own blood, she's bleeding internally!"

"Conrad we got her from here." Mina reassured as they crossed passed the red line he couldn't walk past.

Conrad reluctantly backs away from you, letting them take over and wheel you away. He stands just before the red line, a hand coming up to rub his face as a mixture of emotions fills him - guilt, worry, anger, and fear. He feels a hand on his shoulder, and he looks over to see Kitt's face etched with concern.

"What can I do?" She questions, her grip on his shoulder tightening.

"Call my dad and her sister. They need to get here now!"

Kitt silently nods at his request, and Conrad hears her calling someone as he turns to stare at the double doors you were just wheeled behind, disappearing from his sight. The only thing he could do now was wait. He looks at his hands behind sliding down to the floor. Various flashes and reminders of your voice and the conversations you had, ran through his mind, along with the ones that ran a chill through his spine.

Beautiful What’s the catch? Can’t I bring my fiance a cup of coffee out of the pure goodness of my heart? You can…but something lies behind those devious eyes. In the meantime, just wait here, I'll be back to reset your bones.Well Dr. Hawkins…when you flash her that dazzling smile and hold her gently, how can she resist doing everything that comes out of your damn mouth! Well, that idea sounds a whole lot better than the Guinea Pig- Stop, stop, stop! I can't breathe. You’re impossible. That's improbable to you. Pain in my ass… That so, Dr Hawkins. What would you like for dinner? Are you offering to cook? Yes, I'll cook tonight. What do you want? Surprise me. You got mad last time when I did. Chicken, with pasta!

You will. She said you wouldn't kiss me if I hurt her. I don't want you to be mad at me. I don't like pasta very much, but maybe we can get takeout sometime.

A sob rattled through him as he brought his palms up to his head. Hoping and praying you'd make it through. It wasn't long before he moved up to watch in on your surgery. The entire operation felt like never-ending hours.

He hadn't known how long he had sat in his chair. He was just waiting for the aftermath to finally hit him. And it had, as soon as Kitt walked in after some time, letting the door shut behind her. She stood there for a moment contemplating how to gather her words.

"Just give it to me straight..." Conrad looked up at her.

"She lost a lot of blood and she was down for a long time. We won't know her neurological status until we wake her up. They're moving her to the ICU."

Conrad nodded at this newfound information. He broke down again when her gentle hand touched his shoulder.

"There's one more thing..."

Conrad's entire body went stiff. He knew whatever else Kitt had to tell him was either really good or extremely bad. He silently nodded for her to continue, mentally bracing himself for the next words that came out of her mouth. Conrad lifted his head slowly. His brows furrowed as Kitt sat down beside him. She grabbed his hands.

"Come on, give it to me straight here." He urged her, the suspense killing him.

"Y/n was pregnant."

Conrad's heart dropped to his stomach and he was positive someone just dumped a bucket of ice water on him. He stares at Kitt in disbelief, unsure of whether he heard her right. His chest ached and all of the air was knocked out of his lungs as he sat there stunned, staring at her.

"Was?" He whispered, his voice cracking.

Kitt shook her head, disheartened. "She lost it."

Conrad felt as if he was going to be sick. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair as he took in a shaky breath.

"How far along was she?" He managed to get out.

"She hadn't told you yet did she?" Kitt inhales. "S-She was about 18 weeks along from what we could tell…I'm so sorry Conrad."

Conrad's breath hitched at the response, and he struggled to hold his emotions together. He gripped the arms of the chairs, his knuckles beginning to turn white. The room was beginning to spin and the news hit him like a ton of bricks. He took a moment to collect himself before looking at Kitt again.

"18 weeks," He repeated, unable to believe it. "And I didn't even know?"

"You still have her Conrad. If I know Y/n, she's a fighter, she'll pull through her recovery."

Conrad nodded at Kitt's words, trying to find comfort in them, but the pain he felt was almost unbearable. He felt responsible for not paying closer attention to you and to your behavior. He had overlooked the fact that you hadn't been feeling well due to the added stress. He should have caught the hints.

"I should have…" He began to say, but the words caught in his throat. "I should've listened to her…I should have realized sooner I-" A sob broke out of him. He clung to Kitt as she consoled him into her arms. Shushing him and saying everything was going to be okay.

After Kitt calmed him down, she left to give him a few moments alone. As he sat there, staring at the wall. Images of you and his unborn child filled his thoughts. He tried to imagine a life with you and your little one. He imagined teaching them how to walk and talk, tucking them into bed, holding your swollen belly, and feeling their kick. He imagined the life of fatherhood.

As he sat there, a wave of anger and determination washed over him. He needed to see you. He needed to see you, to feel you. To hold you in his arms and never let you go.

Taking a deep breath, Conrad stood up and slowly made his way to the ICU. The halls were eerily quiet as he walked through them, the sound of his footsteps echoed off the walls. When he reached the ICU room, he stopped and peered in through the door. He saw you lying in bed, surrounded by machines and tubes. Your face was pale and your chest slowly rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

He let out a shaky breath and leaned his head forward, letting it gently rest on the wall. He closed his eyes and silently willed himself to remain calm. He couldn't break down in front of anyone else, not here. He took in a few more deep breaths and slowly began to regain control of his emotions. As he stood there, his mind racing with thoughts, the silence around him felt deafening. He wanted nothing more than to have you crack a joke just to put him at ease.

"Hey baby, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon okay." Conrad sat down on the chair by your bed, his hand grasping yours gently and his eyes studying your features. Everything felt so familiar - his hand wrapped around yours, your skin, your hair, all of it. He felt a small wave of relief wash over him, knowing you were at least here, right in front of him. Slowly, he brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against it. "When you wake up, I'm taking you home once you're allowed to be discharged. I'll cook you anything you want okay? I'll cook you chicken and pasta for the rest of our lives if that’s what you want, cause I know it's your favorite. Anything you want...you name it, baby." He chuckles lightly to himself but breaks down once more. Tears fall down his face onto your sheets as he tightens his hold on your hand.

"I'm here," He whispered, his voice barely audible. "I'm right here."

#conrad hawkins #conrad hawkins x y/n #conrad hawkins oneshot #conrad hawkins imagine #conrad hawkins imagines #conrad hawkins x reader #conrad hawkins x fem!reader #the resident x reader #the resident imagines #writings by juls #my gif #writings by juls: conrad hawkins

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ohmy-gojo · 23 days ago

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choso is a worrywart.

you always have to send him a text after reaching your office. you get a little burnt while cooking? hes cooking from now on. if youre staying out late, better believe hes gonna pick you up no matter how late it is. takes extreme precautions to keep you away from getting sick or hurt. he also does the same with yuuji, you both are his family and he will do anything to keep you both safe and healthy!

so what happens when you start feeling a little under the weather...?

after waking up you were feeling a little feverish, but you decided not to tell choso because knowing him, he will have high blood pressure if he found out that you were sick. but he ends up finding out anyway because you sneezed. once. he immediately pushed a thermometer in your mouth to check

"i knew it. who knew it? me, thats who. i told you not to leave home without a scarf but you dont listen!" he gently but firmly spoke with furrowed eyebrows

"cho, it was 35 degrees outside..." you mumbled with the thermometer in your mouth

"dont move your mouth!"

he pulled out the thermometer from your mouth and gasped loudly after reading it, putting a hand on his mouth. you checked the thermometer and deadpanned at his reaction

"cho its only 99 degrees,"

"y/n, the normal human temperature is 98.6 degree fahrenheit!" he looked at you like you were crazy for taking the information so lightly

"which means im only 0.4 degrees over the normal temperature."

"exactly???"

he asked you about other symptoms you were facing and noted it down (after begrudgingly accepting that you dont need to go to the hospital, boy was ready to call the ambulance). he made you soup and fed it to you, putting a wetcloth on your not so warm forehead. then he forcefully made you rest again after you said you had work. no way you think he's gonna let you move from the bed, let alone go to work!

obsessively kept checking your temperature until it became normal again (it only took an hour..)

he then checked all your symptoms and researched about it... on google. which diagnosed you with brain cancer. choso passed out and you had to take HIM to the hospital 😭

#choso x reader #choso x you #choso x y/n #choso x female reader #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo x you #choso kamo x y/n #choso fluff #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #choso x reader fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader fluff

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macgyvermedical · 3 months ago

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Reference Guide to Writing Drug Withdrawal

So your character has a substance use disorder (or physical dependence to a substance for another reason). This post will tell you how to write a scene (or story) in which they go through withdrawal.

NOTE: THIS POST DOES NOT INTEND TO COVER ANYTHING EXCEPT WITHDRAWAL, WHICH IS A VERY SMALL PART OF SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER AND PHYSICAL DEPENDENCE.

Substance Use Disorders and Physical Dependence:

Substance use disorders are chronic illnesses in which a person continues to use a substance (commonly nicotine, alcohol, cocaine, opioids like heroin or fentanyl, benzodiazepines, etc...) even when acquiring or using the substance can be dangerous or cause significant problems in their life (such as problems with money, safety, law enforcement, job security, child services involvement, or physical problems like wounds, infections, side effects, hangovers, and withdrawal). Substance use disorders are a common cause of physical dependence.

Physical dependence is also it's own problem and can occur for other reasons too. For example, many people take prescription medications that they would go through withdrawal from if stopped abruptly (say, because the pharmacy couldn't fill it in time and they ran out). Assuming that the medication is being taken as prescribed, physical dependence in itself does not mean someone has a substance use disorder.

So what is withdrawal? Withdrawal (sometimes called "detox") is the process by which a body stops being physically dependent on a substance. Generally speaking, it is unpleasant. This is because when a body is exposed to a substance repeatedly, it changes how it functions to accommodate that substance. When the substance is removed, there is a period of time where the body has to re-adjust to not having the substance.

For example, alcohol is very similar to the neurotransmitter (brain chemical) GABA. If you drink a lot of alcohol (more than about 4 drinks per day) for longer than about a month, the body decreases the amount of GABA it makes naturally to accommodate the "fake" GABA from the alcohol. If the alcohol is suddenly removed, the body doesn't have enough GABA, and the effects of not having enough GABA result in withdrawal symptoms.

The difference being, someone taking a medication they no longer want to take can slowly reduce the dose to minimize withdrawal symptoms. Someone with a substance use disorder usually finds cutting back nearly impossible. Because of this, managing physical dependence in someone with substance use disorder generally means giving them a similar substance which they get from a pharmacy and take continuously (methadone, buprenorphine), or a similar substance they can then taper off of in a controlled way (benzodiazepines, gabapentin).

Specific Withdrawal Syndromes:

Alcohol/Benzodiazepines:

These are the only two substances that result in a potentially life-threatening withdrawal syndrome, and it's essentially the same syndrome. As stated above, when taken for either 2 weeks for benzodiazepines or 4 weeks for alcohol, the body decreases the amount of GABA it produces naturally. GABA is the "brake pedal" in the brain, slowing things down and decreasing the amount of activity. If you don't have enough GABA, you get too much activity, which can result in severe anxiety, insomnia, seizures, hallucinations, high blood pressure, temperature, and pulse rate, heart arrhythmias, and confusion.

6-12 hours after a person's last drink, they will experience insomnia, anxiety, tremors, and headache.

12-24 hours after a person's last drink, if untreated with benzodiazepines or gabapentin, they may start to experience hallucinations (they typically know they are hallucinating at this point).

24-48 hours after a person's last drink, if untreated, they may start to experience seizures.

48-72 hours after a person's last drink, if untreated, they may start to experience a severe symptom known as delerium tremens. This is a state where they are hallucinating severely and they don't know they are hallucinating anymore. This is also a state where the person has heart rhythm problems that could result in death. This is the most dangerous period during withdrawal.

If a person makes it through 72 hours, they are usually in the clear as far as life threatening symptoms go, though they may experience mild symptoms like headaches and insomnia for long periods afterwards.

Note that medication for alcohol or benzodiazepine withdrawal like other benzodiazepines, phenobarbital, and gabapentin are given only for the first 5 days of withdrawal, tapering to lower doses each day. This gets the person through the dangerous part hopefully with no life threatening symptoms. It does not mean all symptoms are controlled, but they are hopefully kept on the milder end while the brain learns to make it's own GABA again.

Opioids:

Opioids include a range of drugs including prescription medications like oxycodone, hydromorphone, and morphine, as well as street drugs like heroin. Today, the street drug supply in many places is heavily adulterated. Many samples of heroin (and even "pressed pills" made to look like prescription opioids) contain the much stronger opioid fentanyl (which increases risk of overdose) and the sedative xylazine (which causes wounds) in addition to the expected heroin or oxycodone.

Opioids work by pretending to be endorphins- another neurotransmitter usually used by the body to reduce pain and stress. Similarly to GABA in alcohol use, the body reacts to having sustained high amounts of fake endorphins by decreasing the amount of endorphins it makes itself. This means, when the opioids are no longer present, the body can't make itself feel good or recover from pain.

There are many parts of the body that endorphins work in, including the brain, gut, nerves, and spine. When they are removed, symptoms include:

Nausea and vomiting.

Diarrhea.

Insomnia.

Anxiety.

Increased body temperature.

Racing heart.

Muscle and bone pain.

Sweating.

Chills.

High blood pressure.

There is not really a universal timeline for these symptoms like there is with alcohol. For someone who primarily uses short-acting opioids, withdrawal begins 8-24 hours after the last use (though anxiety and cravings can start much sooner). For people who primarily use long-acting opioids, withdrawal can take up to 36 hours to begin following the last use. Generally, symptoms peak within 1-3 days after they start, and acute symptoms last 10-14 days.

Unfortunately, someone who has an opioid use disorder will frequently experience cravings for very long periods of time (potentially the rest of their life) after they stop use. For this reason, people do significantly better at reducing or stopping use over the long haul if they are taking an opioid replacement drug like methadone or buprenorphine.

Methadone and buprenorphine are prescription medications that a person goes somewhere each day to get (methadone) or picks up each day from the pharmacy (buprenorphine). The drugs essentially make it so the person won't go into withdrawal and will have significantly fewer cravings for as long as they take the drug.

The management of opioid withdrawal is usually done by switching the person from a street drug to one of these opioid replacement drugs. However, it is important to note that methadone doesn't work immediately (usually it takes about 2-5 days of titrating it up to get it to a high enough dose to work, longer if the person has a very high tolerance). Buprenorphine requires a certain amount of time in withdrawal (usually a day or two) before it can be given, or it can make withdrawal worse instead of better (something called precipitated withdrawal).

Once someone is on one of these medications, they can choose to stay on them (recommended) or taper off (nice to be off meds in theory, but high rates of return-to-use).

Cocaine/Amphetamines:

Instead of pretending to be a neurotransmitter, stimulants like cocaine and amphetamines prevent the body from re-absorbing the neurotransmitter dopamine, leading to a whole bunch of it hanging out in the brain. This increases concentration and energy and boosts mood. However, taken over long periods of time, the brain kind of burns out and fails to respond to the high levels of dopamine.

You may have heard that amphetamines and cocaine don't have withdrawal states. That would be a myth. People who use stimulants repeatedly for long periods frequently have a withdrawal that is essentially the opposite of the effects of stimulants- they feel very tired, have trouble focusing, and feel depressed because their brains can't use dopamine the same way they did before the drug use. This may last for weeks after cessation of stimulants.

Unfortunately, unlike with alcohol and opioids, there's not a ton that can be done for this withdrawal. There have been several studies, including testing medications like the antidepressant mertazapine, the migraine medicine topiramate, as well as naltrexone and buproprion (also an antidepressant).

In Conclusion:

There is so much more to drug use, substance use disorder, and physical dependence than I am covering in this post. I am just covering a small part of physical dependence, however the cause, by discussing the effects and common treatments for withdrawal.

Thank you all for reading this far! I hope you learned something and will use it in your writing!

#whump reference #writing reference #whump #drugs #medications #drug withdrawal #substance use disorders #which is a better way to put it than addiction tumblr #physical dependence

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animeyanderelover · 11 months ago

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Can I ask NSFW headcanon for Muzan? Thank You 😊

What would the reaction be like if Yoriichi, Muzan, Carla and Reiji with a s/o who had an extremely complicated pregnancy, they almost lost their s/o and the baby, pls pls 🤧

I am no doctor so I would appreciate any corrections of errors I might have made. This might also be somewhat more extreme but I went with what I found on the internet.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, toxic relationship, abduction, manipulation, gaslighting, clinginess, controlling behavior, pregnancy, forced pregnancy, labor, high-risk pregnancy, premature labor, birth, cannibalism, illness, cardiac arrest, C-section

Tags: @leveyani @kanaosprotector

Extremely complicated pregnancy

Reiji Sakamaki

☕️A life with Reiji is thoroughly scheduled as he always needs to have control over every little thing in your life. The already tight leash you had on you only becomes tighter the moment you manage to get pregnant with his child. He oversees everything strictly in your life from that day on from the food you consume to the drinks you choose. He’s very adamant that you stay healthy and deliver him a healthy child. A child that he has been planning to have with you for a longer time now. He has read every available source, he has created a diet schedule for you and he feels validated in his speculation and research when you actually find yourself craving occasionally blood which he immediately provides you with since you carry a vampire baby. You normally refuse the consumption of blood from humans because you’re still human yourself which leads always to him forcing it past your lips and down your throat. Consider the health of your baby before being such an unreasonable and neglectful mother-to-be. His own mother always ignored him so Reiji is extremely dedicated to ensure that you are a good mother to his own child.

☕️The first few months of the pregnancy go rather well. Besides the common morning sickness, some headaches and mood swings the baby develops healthily inside your womb. Reiji monitors everything extremely closely and you have him checking on your condition and the condition of the little one almost daily. Whenever you lash out on him due to his restricting schedules, he always quickly puts you back in your place by sharply scolding you for your immature behavior. He's designing the nursery room for the baby, accompanies you whenever he deems that it's time for you to take a walk outside and get some fresh air. The baby starts visibly moving around and kicking your insides when you are 19 weeks along and from that day on Reiji even starts observing the movements of the baby because any lack of it or very frequent movements can also indicate whether the baby is feeling fine or not. He has even already chosen a handful of names although he decides to wait until the baby is born and he can see them for the first time.

☕It's within your fifth month that you start experiencing complications. There is an increase in your headache, you suffer from shortness of breath, your vision is blurry or you see dark spots dancing in front of your eyes and you also experience abdominal pain. You would like to think that this is normal but you can't deny that some of those symptoms scare you and the way Reiji's eyes narrow when you are forced to tell him about it only adds to your growing anxiety. When he runs some tests on you and realizes that your blood pressure is elevated, he starts getting worried. This shouldn't happen. He has always hated it when something didn't go according to his plan but your current pregnancy only heightens the stress he is feeling because right now he can't afford that anything goes wrong. The slight panic he initially feels manifests itself into accusations against you as he questions if you have done something that has caused your high blood pressure. His preparations should have been perfect. It is not his fault.

☕Soon he is too busy closely monitoring your increasingly worsening condition to put the blame on you though as your symptoms have worsened. Your vision randomly blurs or darkens, your headache has led to increased nausea and has made it difficult for you to stomach food, your hands and face have swollen and Reiji has even started suspecting that the blood supply to your placenta doesn't work as it should. The baby doesn't grow and develop as it should due to the lack of blood supply and with each passing week he starts worrying more and more about it. He tries everything he can think of to cease your dizziness and your nausea, the abdominal pain and the lacking blood supply to your placenta but nothing seems to really work. There is no medicine or cure to your symptoms and when Reiji realizes that he can't do anything, the only choice he is left with is trying to prolong the pregnancy long enough to guarantee the survival of his darling and his baby. He starts mentally preparing himself to perform a C-section on you if worst should come to worst.

☕The worst case scenario happens in your 30th week when premature labor starts together with intense abdominal pain. You are weakened from weeks of dizziness, nausea and stress and the sheer exhaustion from labor proves too much for you as you faint after a few hours. This leaves Reiji with pretty much no choice but a Caesarean section, especially since the fetus is in breech position. Normally he would be pretty confident in his skills but there is too much on the line for him and this stops him from staying as level-headed as he would like. The little girl he pulls out from your womb during the surgery is worringly small even if she is a prematurely born baby. The most difficult step should have been overcome but instead dread fills him when he notices that she isn't breathing. Suddenly he feels like he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders as he spends minutes trying to keep the baby alive until his daughter finally manages to breathe independently and starts weakly crying and even then he can't allow himself to relax. Neither you nor the baby are out of health risks after all.

☕You are quite weakened after the difficult pregnancy and the surgery and it takes you a few weeks until you feel somewhat healthy enough again to walk longer distances without any help and do certain tasks without experiencing any pain. Just because you can theoretically do it though doesn't mean by a long shot that Reiji will let you. He has become overly cautious after the birth. He's extremely skittish whenever he monitors the health of the baby due to her breathing issues upon birth and worried for any lasting damage she might have suffered due to her restricted development in your womb. You find yourself spending the first few weeks after the surgery mostly spending time with your daughter whilst Reiji is doing everything else. He monitors the health of his darling and their daughter, he cooks for his s/o and he assists whenever and however he can. He feels stressed out even after the condition of you and the baby stabilize because in his mind he can't stop agonizing over the fact that he could do little to nothing to help you in any way.

Carla Tsukinami

🔮If you wind up being Carla's darling and can biologically bear children, prepare yourself for giving him a child. Carla expects his darling to give him a healthy and strong heir and there will be no room for discussion. You will bear him his child and you will be a good and attentive mother to his baby. All of this happens only after Carla has already broken your mind down enough for you to be completely putty in his hold. Pregnancy is the final step, the final claim he can lay on you to mark you for all eternity as his and at that point you will happily accept his wish of wanting a baby with you. You love him after all and you're sure that you'll love a child with the same golden eyes as his just as much. It is extremely pleasing to see your quick embrace of the idea and he wastes very little time after he has told you about his plans to see it through that you are pregnant as soon as possible. It doesn't take long for him until he senses the new life deep within your womb. He couldn't be more pleased in that moment.

🔮Similar to Reiji, Carla will be very controlling as soon as he has confirmed that you are expecting his heir. You are always kept within his vicinity and you aren't allowed to go anywhere without informing him. He wouldn't want anything to happen to you, especially with his brother around. That rarely happens though as you are pretty obedient and listen to him which means that you allow him to lead you outside and go for a walk. You feel pretty sick quite often and spend a lot of time on the toilet whenever nausea grabs a hold of you. Shin has made fun of you once when he saw you hanging over the toilet which struck the wrong cord in you in that moment and actually led you to shed tears of shame. You only know that Carla wasn't too pleased when you started crying because of Shin and told you that he'd talk with his brother. Ever since Shin has been trying his best to not say anything within your presence although he looks like he has a lot of snarky stuff he could say. You spend a large amount of time only with Carla though, basking in his affection and joy due to your pregnancy.

🔮As soon as your bump really starts showing is when other symptoms start to appear. Your hunger increases significantly as soon as the baby bump shows and this makes it difficult for you since Carla has put you on a diet to keep you and the baby healthy. You have troubles keeping your temper under control when he initially always denies you your cravings but you try your best to stay quiet. Until the intense craving for blood starts one day and you start feeling sluggish and weak. That is when Carla starts paying more attention to your cravings. You’re only human, you would under normal conditions never want to consume blood. Is it the baby that makes you crave blood? He has obviously speculated how a pregnancy with a vampire baby would go for your mortal body but speculations don’t necessarily have to line up with the reality. He decides to give in to your new cravings this time as he notices how your energy gets drained. The blood seems to replenish your energy for a while.

🔮The bigger the baby swells though, the more it seems to drain your energy. You grow more tired and exhausted with each month that passes by no matter how much blood Carla lets you consume or how much you eat. Very little of the food you digest is actually used for your own energy as the baby seems to take all the nutrients it needs and leaves very little for you. You lose weight and feel dizzy and exhausted whilst the baby is thriving. Soon it starts getting so bad that you can’t even walk properly on your own anymore without the danger of collapsing. Carla has to assist you even when you go to the toilet and despite your weak protest and tears of shame, he doesn’t allow you anything anymore without his help. The baby sucks everything out of you, he can see your clear struggle everyday as your energy drops and your pain increases due to the heavy weight of the baby inside of you and its strong kicks that feel like it’ll burst out of you any moment. The closer you get to your due date, the weaker and thinner you become. This isn’t good.

🔮Miraculously you make it to your due date until your water breaks but it comes with a heavy price. You’re exhausted, you’re tired and you barely have any energy left to even push properly. All of this is made even worse by the fact that the baby has grown a lot whilst it was protected inside of you. They are big which makes the entire process even more arduous as your body tries its hardest to squeeze the infant out of your body and down your birth channel. When the shoulders of the baby get stuck though and prevent you from giving birth to the baby, everything takes quickly a turn for the worse. Nothing seems to help. That’s when Carla takes action, fully aware that being stuck could end up harming the baby. You can vaguely recall the burning feeling when he abruptly reaches his hand out into your vagina in an attempt to turn the baby around. It’s a painful and uncomfortable feeling that is the final push you need before you finally succumb to unconsciousness which leaves Carla alone to guide the baby out of your body.

🔮You suffer from a fourth-degree tear and malnutrition for weeks after birth which leaves you completely bedridden under Carla’s guidance. His son on the other hand suffered from fractures to his upper arm bone. All of this is rather upsetting and frustrating to Carla who didn’t expect a shoulder dystocia to occur during the birth of his own heir. He spends nearly all of his time in his chambers where he nurses you and the baby back to health. Shin rarely runs into his older brother for that reason. Every time he does spot Carla, he’s always tempted to ask him mockingly how you and his nephew are doing, considering that you went through all of this hell only because of Carla’s wish for an heir. The piercing glare Carla gives him whenever he opens his mouth to ask that question keeps him from doing so though. The younger Tsukinami brother isn’t allowed to visit you and the little boy either, especially not when neither of you has fully recovered. Until that day comes, no one will see you two.

Kibutsuji Muzan

🩸There have never been any records of demons and humans procreating. If there would have been, Muzan as the King of Demons would have known about it. Technically speaking he has no real need nor any interest in any children of his own. He doesn't need any heir for he is immortal and doesn't plan to ever give up his position to anyone else for he plans to become the perfect existence. Perhaps there is a spark of curiosity though as soon as he has you in his life as it is a thought that often crosses his mind when he dumps his cum inside of you. He has a fondness for science after all but none of it has ever led him to actively try for a baby with you. Then one day he senses the little heartbeat inside of you, senses the new life that has been spawned in your womb. Whilst he isn't actively thrilled about the pregnancy and might even consider an abortion, ultimately it is his scientific interest that manages to stop him from removing the thing from you. A part of him hopes that this child will be able to develop an immunity against the sun due to being only a half demon.

🩸Since Muzan has always gotten his way with you, you are left with little to no choice but accept his decision to keep the child for now. Your feelings about the little baby currently developing inside of you are confusing as you despise him for forcing you to keep it. Yet you bow down in fear whenever you are faced with his displeasure when he sees you expressing those feelings and thoughts in front of him. This little life inside of you has been directly created by him and perhaps this plays a large fact in why he won't tolerate you thinking about it in such a way. Because the baby will have more from him than any of the demons he has created throughout his entire life. Muzan views himself in the highest light, as a near god, so something that will have his genetics must be strong too. You don't seem to realize that your unwillingness to embrace the thought of having his child will only make him more determined to keep it since he won't allow you to reject something that has been directly created by him.

🩸Too prideful to show any lingering questions he has in regards of the unique biology his baby will have due to being created by a demon and a human, Muzan just monitors your pregnancy very closely. Partially because of his fascination to finally know that such a pregnancy will be like and partially because he doesn't know what might happen. It is this selfish mindset that soon leads you down a path of misery. Your body is unable to handle the creature inside your womb that seems to suck out all the energy and proteins meant for you whenever you force something down your throat despite your growing nausea. The growth spurt the baby has is abnormal for the first few months but all of this comes with the cost of your own decline of health. Everything is painful and everything is tiring and the little baby is incredibly strong starting from their first kicks. At this rate it is already far too late for Muzan to do anything. Through your pain and your exhaustion you sometimes bitterly blame him for what he puts you through but you never get any apology from him and you know exactly why. He would never admit it after all.

🩸Then everything suddenly stops though. The growth of your bump and the kicks and hits of the baby inside. There is suddenly no movement anymore at all and despite your not so positive feelings, you slowly start to worry about it. Your own condition isn't improving too greatly though as your food either gets thrown up by you or still seems to be received by the fetus instead. Muzan has already noticed it too. He can still sense the heartbeat within but to his own growing dread it seems to get weaker by the days. His mind is racing as to why and the steadily weakening condition of you and the baby only seem to be a reminder that the time he has to find a solution is limited. Eventually he starts considering that the baby you bear is technically still a demon too. He starts considering that the baby might have reached a phase within their development where the current food you consume isn't sufficient enough anymore. Maybe they need some human flesh. Even though you refuse when he first brings up his theory, Muzan doesn't care as he shoves it from that day on down your throat and to his satisfaction his idea was right.

🩸Yet he can't enjoy the fact that his theory was right for too long. Your body, unable to handle the large amount of energy and nutrition the baby steals from it, goes into premature and sudden labor in the seventh month. Neither of you two two are prepared for it and even the baby seems to be unhappy about your body giving up on them as they start making a ruckus inside your womb, only adding to the pain you are already feeling. Muzan is unable to calm the irritated baby down. Everything happens too fast for him to even prepare anything. Your body is in a rush to expel the baby from inside you and their frequent and wild movement only cause them to slide down your birth channel faster. The frequent activity of your baby soon comes to a hold though. Their umbilical cord got flattened and Muzan is met with deafening silence when the bloody infant lays in his arms. It is this silence that makes him suddenly lose his composure as the motionless child reminds him vividly of his own birth. Not his own child too. He spends minutes frantically reanimating the infant before she finally lets out her first weak cries.

🩸If your own condition should have worsened any more, Muzan probably would have turned you into a demon. Somehow your fragile body pulled through though and in a way he’s relieved about that. Because for now it would be more beneficial to let you stay human and care for the little girl you gave birth to. With her black hair and her red and bleary eyes she looks a lot like Muzan and perhaps it’s her visible similarity to him that fills his heart with pride. She recovers quicker than you from her troublesome birth, probably because she is half demon. Her appetite is as insatiable as it was during her time in your womb though and to your slight horror she still has her preferences to the taste of human blood and flesh together with your breastmilk. Muzan gives her what you don’t want to give her as he has realized that she probably needs the different nutrients to develop properly just like she needed whilst being in your belly. Now that the baby is born, he forbids you from expressing any hesitation and confusion when you’re taking care of her. This girl is his own flesh and blood and he won’t tolerate you not loving her who is so much like him.

Tsugikuni Yoriichi

☀️Pregnancy should be a joyful occasion for parents yet despite the expected happiness and joy Yoriichi feels when it becomes known that you are expecting his child, there is also a gnawing fear that haunts him. He can't help but recall the heart-wrenching fate that befell Uta and the unborn baby. Even if he has you now in his life, this is a memory he is unable to forget as he often still blames himself for their deaths through the hand of a demon. The slow growth of your bump triggers those haunting memories and sometimes he dreams of the same scene he saw when he returned home to Uta, only that it is now your body torn apart with the precious child murdered before it even had the chance to live. Yoriichi becomes very protective and paranoid over you as he doesn't think that he could bear a repeat of what has already once happened to him. There is always this underlying fear and paranoia that make him much more aware of his surroundings even as he rejoices when he witnesses the first kicks of his baby. His katana is always kept close, especially when night comes where he finds himself often lying awake.

☀️As winter is already awaiting, Yoriichi makes an effort to keep you warm and protected and your home as cozy as possible. He never leaves you as soon as the sun goes down as he now knows better. All tasks are usually finished within the day so that he can stay by your side and protect you as soon as it gets dark. Despite his efforts to always keep you warm and healthy though, you seem to catch a cold. It is nothing to be worried over though. You have a light headache, your throat hurts whenever you swallow and you cough. You are not really worried though and even assure Yoriichi that it'll pass by soon. Despite feeling already a bit more fatigued due to your pregnancy and now your illness, you still feel fine. You decide to stay inside nevertheless as he fetches you a doctor to monitor your condition. After all you know of his loss of his first pregnant wife so you try to make him feel better and calmer by letting a doctor tell him that you are fine and that you will be fit in a few days again. When Yoriichi returns with the doctor, you feel slightly febrile.

☀️What should have been only a mild cold soon turns into a serious condition though. Maybe it is because you are pregnant and are just more prone to bacteria yet such explanations do nothing to help Yoriichi's terrified heart. Despite your weak protests to leave the room so he doesn't catch what you have, he stays faithfully with you as your fever soon feels like it is burning your skin and sweat coats your skin. Every swallow is a small challenge as it brings you uncomfortable pain and you are often thrown into coughing fits, your throat coated with phlegm and constantly itching in a dry way. With your worse condition, Yoriichi has asked the doctor to come by every day. He does whatever he can do to help you. He cooks for you and feeds you even if you should have no hunger or simply feel too tired and he heads the advices of the doctor when giving you the medicine that should help your condition. His chest is tight with fear and worry as he feels anxious whenever he sees your bump and wonders how your sick body may also negatively impact the baby.

☀️Perhaps it is just his fate to watch helplessly as he loses everyone he loves in his life. First his brother, then Uta and his unborn child and now you and the baby you are carrying. Yoriichi can only watch helplessly how you grow weaker and weaker as the days pass by. Your lips are chappy and dry and your skin coated in ill sweat as your whole body is uncomfortably hot due to your fever. Yet even in this condition you try to soothe Yoriichi in his silent despair and promise him that it'll soon get better even as he has to support your weak body when you want to walk around. Your sick appearance always tears his heart apart, his sorrow growing by the day yet he tries to stay strong for you. But this thin threat snaps when your contractions start at only 30 weeks. His whole body is shaking and silent tears cascade down his face as a the doctor and a midwife he brought with him try their best to help you to deliver the baby. He feels small, insignificant and terrifyingly helpless as he stays by your side and with every scream and cry you let out he thinks he is more desrving of death for not being able to save anyone in his life.

☀️Even after you have made it through birth and have delivered a little boy does his torment continue. Your health plummets down after labor as your body is left severely weakened after the physical exertion that leaves you in a nearly unconscious state as you are too exhausted and sick to even leave. Your sickness soon spreads out to his newborn son and even if his heart is already tattered and torn enough, Yoriichi only continues to suffer. Wherever he goes, he is only reminded of his cursed fate. He spends his time either catering to your needs, his heart screaming whenever you ask in your weak condition for your son or he silently watches over the baby whose little body is desperately battling against the deadly cold. He is too terrified to fall asleep anymore at night, too afraid to wake up one morning to your cold body or to the motionless body of his baby. Instead he lays awake at night, his heart beating anxiously as he listens to your troubled breaths and the breaths of the little baby. Sometimes it becomes too much for him and he is left muffling his sobs with his hand at night.

☀️Many days pass before you finally start feeling better. You're still feeling slightly feverish but you are able to move by yourself anymore. Yoriichi, who is feeling an overwhelming urge to hug you, kiss you and show you how grateful he is that you are still alive, has to hold himself back as you aren't fully cured yet and still need recovery. You're finally able to interact with your son and the sight of you holding the child that both of you created is a small remedy for his bruised and broken heart, even if the baby is also still sick. He slowly starts recovering though together with you as he receives all the love and care he could possibly get from you, Yoriichi and the doctor. It still takes weeks until his son as well as you are fully recovered and well again and for the first time in a while he feels like he can see the light again. Despite his own exhaustion and tiredness from all his fear he is especially attentive and loving with you and his little son. He just wants the both of you to know how much it really means to him that both of you are still alive and with him.

#yandere diabolik lovers #yandere dl #yandere reiji #yandere reiji sakamaki #yandere carla #yandere carla tsukinami #yandere demon slayer #yandere kimetsu no yaiba #yandere kny #yandere muzan #yandere kibutsuji muzan #yandere yoriichi #yandere tsugikuni yoriichi #yandere x reader #diabolik lovers x reader #dl x reader #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kny x reader

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