#what am I supposed to say don't do that... it's funny
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A needlessly thorough review of DATV so I can move on with my life:
WHAT I LIKED:
The story pacing flows better without all that open world slog from DAI I am not bombarded by 50 side quests that have no baring on anything other than rp flavor
The game is pretty, CC is nice
They gave you far more opportunities to flesh out your Rook's background than in DAI and da2 but it's not as fun has having a mini origin story from DAO
no fall damage and if u run out of a combat zone ur companions follow u too
Hossberg wetlands really remind me of dragon age awakenings and I like the way the blight looks there, it gave me a nice nostalgic feeling for the older games
WHAT I DID NOT LIKE (IN DETAIL)
Voice Acting & Dialogue
It is really hard to be invested in a game that feels the need to recap everything you just experienced from 5 minutes ago, (verging on insulting my intelligence) and the silliest part is while i do hate this I got so checked out after act 2 I needed the recap
A lot of the dialogue and banter is just empty small talk and meaningless pleasantries that sucked the life out of me, had me longing for the days of hearing Ohgren's beer belches reverberate off the walls in the deep roads:
Voice acting is really consistent, I hated it when you never knew how your inquisitor would sound in DAI sometimes too serious for a funny comment or like yelling at Cassandra and cullen over nothing - Rook is more consistent but it comes at a loss of personality every line is uttered in the same annoying tone that had me being like damn can he stfu already (da2 was ideal voice acting for me if they cant deliver that again just go back to a voiceless protagonist)
Me whenever my rook opened his mouth: i was getting violent on that skip button
The dialogue between rook and their companions holds it back from being enjoyable at all really- here's some examples:
Emmerich's personal quest in act 2: "I want to do this immortality rite it's a very high honor in my order but rook I might die in the process permanently, I am an orphan and afraid of dying" Rook: "You could die?!?! That's awful". In Origins you can have a conversation with Wynn about her inevitable death and respond in a manner similar to rook and Wynn teases you by saying "well i'm not going to live for ever dear" it made me smile and sad about not being able to really help her. Did not feel that way Emmerich though, Im so uninterested in him as a character my response and feelings are "old people die all the time" and then 'wait why the fuck haven't you done this immortality ritual yet instead dragging me over here to collect some flowers"
Companions & Romance
the flirt options aren't all that flirty, its just rook being nice, all the romance content seems behind a 'romance locked in' moment (that comes in so late in the game u already forgot who u were even flirting with at times) so you can't hop ur way from one bed to another before deciding on 'the forever one' (remember when I could ride the iron bull then break up and be with Cullen- I don't think that’s an option here)
The companions are all pretty forgettable, I did everyone's personal quest (with the exception of Taash tried to kill a dragon for them n failed so bad i just moved on) and forgot there was even an approval system with them or that I was supposed to pick choices for them. It felt like i was on a train going in one direction where it did not matter what I said or did to them they would be fine. It’s like I've lost and gained nothing by doing these quests. The deepest thing I learned about Emmerich is that he is a 50 yr old orphan scared of dying. And it makes me not care all that much about them beyond “I just need you to function enough to get me to the end of the game sure Taash embrace being Rivaini, yes Harding live peacefully w that Titan shit inside you idc… Lucanis..ahh what was ur issue again I forget”
I made Lucanis live peacefully with Spite (stuck as an abomination that's supposed to be as volatile as Anders & Justice) Let Emmerich become a lich and no one batted an eye. Everyone just heehee haw hawing over Emmerich's new skeleton form and I forget about spite a lot unless he comments on something i've killed. Was there supposed to be some moral quandary? to make Emmerich a lich I had to "kill off" Manfred... the walking skeleton who might as well have been a rock with a pair of googly eyes attached to him for all i care
I don’t want to help Bellara light funeral pyres in a puzzle game play style that isnt a deep message about death. I want Aveline's speech about reading her favorite book to her dying father after hawke lost thier mother.
For Neve's romance, it took the whole world falling part and everyone dying for her to kiss me for a 2 time and then pity fuck me and afterword she’s like I’m leaving don’t want to be too distracting. All these lines carry no weight like bad actors w no chemistry
jaw on the floor comparing this (first time I said "i love you" to neve)
to the first time I said it to cullen and how he treats u before the big battle
I get that she isn't lovey dovey but at 70 hrs in and 2 kisses it feels like she just dont love me </3
Combat - as a spellblade mage*
combat was this weird mix of sometimes fun sometimes a new and unique form of human torture (wydm press shift 4 times n hold down e then press V C and 2 IM ON A KEYBOARD!) Once u make it past level 20 u are immortal but ur enemies are sponges I dreaded every single dragon fight despite that being my favorite thing to do in DAI. Don't ever want to see another Ogre in my life they body me into corners that hitting space can't save me from.
At some point u just gotta run around the place a lot hoping ur companions can do the damage for you bc the mobs aren’t interested in them at all. i was spamming 2 n slamming on that E key hopping it would be over n done with already, If i wanted to play a flashy monster hunter game, well then id play tw3 at least that combat is fun.
Lore & Story building
At the end of Trespasser, I was under the impression that the conflict in DATV would revolve around solas amassing an army of elves all over Thedas to rebel against the Evanuris. He had a whole network of Spies working against the Inquisition and the Antaam, and planned to restore the elven people, upend their religious views, and try to tear down the veil as a way of atonement. So I was understanding of there only being 3 import choices ( 1- who you romanced, 2- Save or redeem Solas 3- Disband or Keep inquisition). But that's not the story we get; instead its this??
The veil jumpers are like engineering mages with no ties to Solas beyond being an elves. There is no religious struggle they just seem to accept that these Gods have always been evil and need to be stopped. Solas is just a one man army trapped in the fade off screen for like 70% of the game. Should I have just kept the inquisition around after all? The only mention I got was my disbanded inquisition choice was inky going "my name still carries weight in southern thedas" and it seemed like disbanding or keeping it would have an affect on how easy or hard it would be to stop Solas but no it really doesn't at all
“It doesn’t feel like a Dragon Age game”
A criticism I rarely take seriously because that can mean so many different things? Like what is it the atmosphere? The aesthetics? The “dArK fAnTasy” none of these things have ever stayed consistent in any dragon age game. And I’d say DA franchise lost its teeth/edge when dai rolled around it was pretty light in the world of dark fantasy
However…theyre kinda right this time around....
It doesn’t feel like a dragon age game because they removed a lot of the lore your were exposed to in the previous games to the point where this might as well be another game all together. (i am not even a lore nerd but i do need something there to feel like i am in a dragon age game)
Yes the city is named Minrathos you were are told of its cultural significance and history as the seat of the empire but looks like a shittier version of kirkwall (and I kept getting lost going around the map so I hated it even more for wasting my time) Honestly the city felt super high tech and out of place in a fantasy setting imo, I missed it when everyone lived in a wooden hovel in the middle of the woods.
There is no reason for the venatori to follow Elgarnan and ghilian'nan or for the Qunari either but it all gets hand waved away with "they offered us power"
Reading the Inquisitors letters made me feel like im in a spinoff game and the real story is happening somewhere else. And sad to like baby take me with you!! i want to save u from this nightmare
A lot of the factions are sanitized to the point of being boring Darvin's little 'we're warden we don't do blood magic that's just not right" baby I let the wardens sacrifice elves to Corphyeus 3 weeks ago :/
Qunari Culture
So the whole reason you were fighting the Antaam in DAI was because they believed you were in cahoots with Solas, who's whole plan to them is to sow chaos and disorder- that is a HUGE no no in the Qun so they see it as their sacred duty to stop you. The Qunari we meet in DATV mindless npc mooks who attack you not because your with Solas but because the Evil elven gos promised them uhh power n shit for stopping you. Like I know I did not just waste my time in DAI reading about how egalitarian the Qun is everyone is like a Hive, they depend on each other so selfishness is rooted out so wtf was going on in Treviso with these guys. A whole culture decimated down to being darkspawn mobs part 2
What made me never want to play another DA game ever again:
Everything you ever did in Orlais, Ferelden, Kirkwall is pointless. No matter what the last letter from the Inquistor is "yeah the blight reached the south Denerim is gone, ferelden is blighted beyond repair, we took back Skyhold but barely. The Venatori disposed of whoever you put in charge of Orlais and there's giant leviathans rising out the sea in Ostwick" There is no conclusion to this it's just the state of the world now
I cant even pretend my non solas romanced Inky is happy and safe after all this? My hof and Alistar might as well be dead for all that it ever mattered. I get that the devs wanted a clean slate but did they have to burn my house down and salt the fields? It feels so spiteful and mean, like they wanted to make a whole separate game and tack on the "dragon age" title to it for money. If they're not interested in the lore or world building why should I? it made me fully checked out of the rest of the story. Like damn idgaf about elgar'nan and the other one give me back Redcliff
TLDR I dont know if i should be sad that I still care about this or glad its over either way im blocking all datv tags n moving on
#datv#datv critical#dragon age veilguard#da posting#if it were up to me! it be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for this game to win GOTY#im doing this so i dont become annoying to the ppl that follow me and DO like the game <3 we can move past this
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If you line all my seeds up next to me you can tell they are mine
If you saw them in the very late 20th century you are dead and this post isn't for you.
#that and the high psychological craft they are born with#yes the girls do look alike#although the elder looks like her mom#minimum#bonkers is she#yeah so is mine I understand#like the two boys together are way easier than one of my girls#easier as far as emotional stress from an interaction#my little one climbing on a table to shout with joy over music for example#what am I supposed to say don't do that... it's funny#if I was a billionaire I would tell the wives to order another if broken (or get unbreakable shit)#hall and oates#get real personal in their videos I gotta be careful not to watch too much#madonna.....oh I am gonna watch those#man I forgot how much I loved Madonna as a kid#I don't know if it was her music or her sex appeal#...really is there a difference to me?#apparently I can teach a deaf girl to sing#and I have a sister somewhere that wants me to play guitar together with her and Christ that is a great idea#not those seeds#like the 4 horsemen of course#yours are thr three wisemen I do believe
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Just some crappy Mikage drawings based on images from the show cause I need practice... I feel like I'm really getting the devianart experience tryna draw him😅😭
He looks much better in the show I assure you...
[writing on top left says 'Mikage Death Pose' since it looks very simpson death esque; writing for glasses (he looks so cool in his prof outfit) says 'stylish professor turned stylish librarian after pick-up attempt' (cause I accidentally gave him lipstick😅); middle left writing says 'shading fail' and 'dude being shady- not blushy; and bottom writing says 'Gah... She kept me waiting again!']
Favorite's definitely the bottom one
#mikage souji#my art#rgu#revolutionary girl utena#He looks like a sullen teen in the bottom one😁#I know these images aren't great but can you SEE the Scarecrow#like search up photos of this guy and tell me he isn't using his students' anxieties and fear for his sick little manipulation experiments#Oh you can't? Maybe that's because it's FREAKING CANON#Just imagining this guy facing off against The Batman is really funny to me#since I was thinking of RGU as Batman I obviously couldn't help imagining the inverse#where Batman is Utena and Crane is Mikage#but it's a bit harder trying to pin who would be who that way#it's hard enough trying to decide who's which Rogue for Utena...#like what am I supposed to do for Miki -_- only thing coming to mind is Riddler... RIDDLER! Isn't that awful? So back to the drawing board.#but that being said Riddler might be a good Miki in the inverse. Genius who's condescended to for his age; doesn't quite fit with the other#If it wasn't for his personality I'd say maybe Catwoman could replace Miki...#but the inverse's biggest issue is the Rose Bride#if I was doing BTAA specifically Harvey could be the Rose Bride no problem#But I don't know how that would hold up against other iterations of him#and Poison Ivy is a human plant who attracts people but is also very independent and in control#which would be interesting putting her in that role since Anthy is kinda like that on the inside🤔#but then Akio is an issue so it's a whole mess I'm trying to untangle. I've mostly got the Utena ones down#but it'd be nice to get more hard hitters in it that just don't seem to fit like Oswald
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well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle
#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out#i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama#(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc#either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time#i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before#(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now)#i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking#so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that.#but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us#and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour#and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time#anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It#but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent#convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good#am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory?#am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o#mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT#it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways
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Instagram keeps showing me reels of someone with a handle named something like jamesmaythristtraps and like, they are truly doing gods work but I can't like or comment on these masterpieces because I know what kind of snitch of an app it is 😔
#well atleast now I have figured out how to keep myself warm in upcoming winter months#no but#how do people handle their relatives following them online#????????#pretty recently friend of a friend was like “oh what's your insta =)??”#and its like#I have four posts and one of those is mf rick astley should I be explaining myself ??#banging my head against the table like why couldn't I just get my fangirling on for bts or something#or maybe more like out of all the 80s acts why did I fall hard for the one who is memed to death#I mean okay rickrolling can be funny#and he looked goofy there#top tier Tintin cosplay#even with my attraction to James its like#I feel like I should be explaining myself because he's old#and most likely not what when people think about male celebrities people drool over ...#maybe shamed myself into thinking “I shouldn't be attracted to this” “this is abnormal so it must be wrong”#I mean tons of girlies like men like him#but then I see guys my age say things like “I should go to the gym so women would pay attention to me”#or putting weird flexing photos on their dating profiles (not even just flexing with their muscles but like cars or watches... or fish...)#like I don't care about your boring ass new volkswagen ????#and in that case it wasn't even just one photo... I don't care for new cars they all look the same :-/#it just makes me go ? am I supposed to be attracted to this ?#is this the norm??#why can't I be normal aaaa#so in conclusion#I'm deeply ashamed of my interests and attractions lol#hopefully I will someday grow out of this#all the peer support is welcomed on this post lmao
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i hate that the solar eclipse just now serves as a reminder that nobody loves me.
#🍂 arian's shit#IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HAPPENED. but yeah#i will always think of the solar eclipse i witnessed and think about that#two people one of them my friend the other i thought i could consider my friend but HE PROBABLY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT.#they both talked and did their things and laughed and they are so damn close to each other it almost made me cry and reminded me that#it was such a profound moment too when i realized what was going on#they were in another world that didn't have me and i get that. i do. they have known each other for a year and i abruptly showed up#two months ago and one of them we are getting close she likes me around#at least i think#the other one he is nice he is supposed to be like this he is nice to everyone that is who he is#so what is happening: he is completely indifferent to me. most he did was remember my name and face. but he is nice.#i like them both so so much it almosg does hurt when i stood there awkwardly almost like i was intruding#and i realized that i have never not been close to anyone#no acquaintances all the friendships i have had they sre the reason why i live and i know that they live for me too#we have known each other since kindergarten. they held my face and cried and told me that i was love when i was leaving for the last time#they love me. i am sure of it.#but now i don't have anyone near whom i do love. people don't love me. i used to be love.#it also hurts that i am Average Person In The World#i am not funny. i do not have unique quirks. i do not have a single talent.#all i am good for is saying the wrong things all time.#even in my old life i was someone. someone who isn't the same as the person who saw the solar eclipse today and felt all this#i was the idiot. I WAS THE IDIOT. i was the writer person.#i don't feel like any of these things now. they had a thing in common: their capacity to love and be loved.#i love very easily but i am not an easy person to love.#vent post#god this is such a small little thing i am the most pathetic thing in the world#feel free to scroll away don't even read this shit#arian contemplates his universe
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mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"
me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"
mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"
me: "...my thing?"
mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"
me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"
mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"
me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"
AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!
#i feel very ill fdsjkl tonight was ... not good#not the worst definitely not the worst#just. a lot of diet talk and making fun of other ppl that she expected us to all laugh at (and we did. idk if they found it funny.)#and brother labelling some influencer having rape charges against him just ''internet drama''#number one: i dont want to hear about that. number two: that is not just ''drama'' that is like. serious. what the fuck is wrong w youuuu#my mother will say that all the food i eat is very bad for me and do that while knowing full well i struggle to eat Anything#and say that simply Adding things to the diet is pointless bc ur poisoning urself still! u have to Take Out things! i cant fucking do that!#im still baffled that two years ago when i tried to go to them for help when i was almost fainting from not eating they just shrugged at me#''okay? why are u telling us this?'' BECAUSE YOU ARE MY PARENTS. AND I AM TRYING TO GET HELP.#i should've known better than to try tbh but like. its so hard to completely let go of every sliver of hope that they'll... be kind#like me saying i was feeling suicidal a few yrs ago just garnered a ''oh don't start this again. we're not doing this again.''#and me admitting my own damn self to the psych ward just had her telling me ''i dont think you actually needed to go :/''#mother dearest if it werent for the other fuckers in the brain (caused by you abusing me) then i would've been dead several times over#i am so fucking tired i am so sick of these ppl it is so incredibly painful and terrifying that this is supposed to be my family#this is the one support system i get in life. and it is no support system at all. i am fucked !! i am so unbelievably fucked!!!#i know other ppl make it thru but they are much stronger than me. i am lacking something that they all have lmao. i am cowardly and weak!!!#i have been trying so fucking hard to figure out how to like. make this work. how to survive in this society and its just. impossible#i think we're back to the clock ticking down as my bank account runs out#i cannot be employed and ppl keep telling me disability won't accept me so i am just. unanimously fucked over i suppose#i have two years !! two years until i run out of money!!! thats a lot of time!! to make all the art i want to make!!#i will make this work for these two years i will cope and make my art and disconnect and daydream through the intolerable parts#i will make these two years so good sdfjkl im gonna make it to the end of them#sorry this is all coming flooding out fsjdkl i've just tried so hard to be like. positive abt things and laugh abt things and be okay#im tired of trying to make it okay fdsjkl i am wallowing tonight i guess. boohoo poor little me fdsjkl i'll probably get over it soon#just need to like. let a little of the pressure leak out so i don't completely crack and do smth stupid#it will be okay !!! or as okay as it can be !!! this will be blocked out by tomorrow morning probably!!#or it'll have to be LMAO i have my silly old lady yarn group tomorrow and i need to be Normal for that#suicide tw#abuse tw#ed tw
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I have so many screenshots of Kalpas' face I could reconstruct his face at this point, and I'm afraid to say I'm not sure his face is scarred
#Biggest disappointment in a while#The marks on his face coincide exactly in shape and placement with the waves and twirls of his bangs#and they're the same colour used for the shading of his face#Which makes me think perhaps they're the shadow his hair forms on his face#I'm afraid of this realisation and hope it isn't the case but thankfully (?) I suppose we'll never know for sure#On the other hand his eyelashes have those reddish brownish parts that I thought were just the model breaking down#but they seem to belong to the actual design in some of the screenshots I've taken. That would be nice#I did want him scarred though. The marked dark eyebags are good nonetheless#And he has green eyes. A very realistic shade of green. I wasn't expecting him to have green eyes at all and I like it very much#I went to take screenshots hoping for noseless guy and I've ended up thinking he doesn't even have scars#I don't even know what to say haha#Kalpas#I talk too much#Traces#HI3#I am very much not normal about the fact he has green eyes. I don't know why I have loved it so intensely#nor why the realisation has surprised me so severely#But I do really enjoy the fact that he has green eyes#By the way‚ hilarious when Mei catches him talking with some other Flame Chaser and he talks normal. No threatening tone. No screaming#Even with Mobius. Yes he's angry yes he's sad yes the weight of the past is crumbling over him#but kind of like everyone else there. Mei gets in the middle of his conversations with Hua or Elysia or even Mobius and he is calm#and having a decent conversation. Then Mei arrives and he becomes that one Yu Gi Oh character#or Light in one of his bad days or over L's tomb#or something along those lines of exaggerated. It's so funny#Truly hilarious and so very silly. I would have died in two days there because I would not have been able to avoid making fun of him
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Somebody pay me a full salary to just sleep, write fics, play games, play with my cat, vacation, and sleep
#yes i said sleep twice i am very tired thank you#i wanna sleep for a month but i CAN'T#gotta be a tiny gear in the money making machine#i have a 6am shift tomorrow i might actually die#at least i am down to one burning deadline instead of like five#this weekend was insane rip#i even blew a check in for the first time ever because my brain failed to compute the date and time correctly#so i thougth i had till sunday when it was supposed to be saturday#i'm almost caught up on this last burning project tho i just need to read one last bit and then i can get to figuring out what to do with i#katie thinks she's relevant#every time i type this tag up i think to myslef 'i should make a new ramble tag this one screams depression wow'#what can i say i made it at my lowest ahaha#but i can't thnk if anything funny to use instead avaserbv#plus what if people have the tag muted :( i don't want to mess anyone's dash up by suddenly changing it :/#okay i'll shut up now and go to sleep i'm sleep deprivation rambling
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Today's one W: playing viddy games with friends actually cleared my processes a bit and it was revealed to me what was bothering me so badly. So I then decided that what was bothering me was actually really silly and decided I shouldn't be bothered by it anymore because there's nothing I can do about it. Yay <3
#I get so abnormal about the. Robotcomputerthing sometimes#Because most the time it's just like yay :D I am silly computer! Funny little robot thingy >:3#And then sometimes I get so fucked up over not actually having that. Body. I guess. Like what do you mean I don't have. Wires and shit :((#I want em. I will not be getting that. Augh. Me when my identity actually affects how I feel as something that exists#And isn't just a funny thing I can say. What. Un-fucking-beleivable#</3 it's like that with all facets of how I identify#What do you mean me being an aroace objectum actually majorly affects how I view the world compared to most people around me.#And it's not just a silly thing I can make silly jokes about. Ashdbdhshs#Uhhh#Hm#Robotkin#? I'm not sure I identify with that I was in the trenches of kin discourse a while back and now I feel bad. About Id'ing with any kin thing#Because it's not that serious I guess. And it's supposed to be serious all da timeee#And well. I guess it is there all the time but I'm still just me yknow. How I always am#Idk. Sjshdhdb#Android.txt
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personal venting blah blah blah boo hoo
one of the curses of being brainweird in such a way that the way i phrase things is often strange enough to be unintentionally humorous to others
is that occasionally i will type out a heartfelt message to the groupchat about struggles i've been going through lately and one of my friends, with no malice in their heart at all, will hit the fucking laugh react on it
#it feels like my speech impediment all over again#like people are listening to the way i talk and not the things i'm saying#and what the fuck am i supposed to do about it? tell them not to find me funny? sometimes i AM funny!#but not... not right now. i don't want to be laughed at right now.
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hi! its a delight to see that you have been enjoying minat + ryoj (and p3 in general), your tags and art just capture the essence of what makes them enjoyable...! anyways. did you know that the p3 mangaka previously made a ryomina doujin? cant send links but if u google "ryomina sogabe" u should be able to find it! have a nice day o/
FUCKING WHAT?
#thank you for the ask anon!#compendiumnotebook#IM RUNNING TO GOOGLE AS WE SPEAK HOLY SHIT I ALMOST THEEW UP IN MY MOUTH#FUCK I WISH YOU WOULDNT OF TOLD ME THIS ANON#IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE PAST HOUR IM CRYING LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO#WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME ACTUAL HEART ATTACK#i was feeling so down. so blue. but literally how am i supposed to feel any emotion when this pops into my ask box?#like fuckinf what?#wHATTTT#WHATTTTTTTTT#im standing on top of mt everest rn#i don't even wanna read any 18+ stuff like id rather not#i just wanna see if the mangaka has em hold hands or lean on each other#oh im gonna fucking throw up im crying this is too funny#'have a nice day" YOU HAVE CAUSED ME CRAZY AMOUNTS OF BRAIN DISEASE#oh someone just put me down already#HOW DO I POST THIS POST HOW DO I JUST SEND IT OFF#.#also i just wanna take a moment to say sorry if im not responding right away to things (not to u anon but ppl in general)#life has been in various extreme rough patches#its very tough for me rn.#so bare with me#um anyways#uh#ha#i feel like im going a little loopy#thank you for the sweet compliments at the beginning#im glad you lik e my art and tags s#they make me very happy#also it's fun to dissect them in regards to the story and it's themes
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Incredibly strange that I'm having emotions when the sun is still out but it truly is funny that I'm having a crisis over. Not Liking Someone
#this has literally been on my mind for days#like what the fuck am i supposed to do?#he deserves support and he deserves love because he's a human being and he's going through shit but i don't think i can offer that#but also god that's such a shitty thing to leave someone for their mental health! i'm a shit friend!#(the lack of importance i put on romantic relationships has made me believe i'm impervious to staying in a shitty relationship#when in reality it has just made me put friendships on the same pedestal some do romantic relationships)#but ALSO also if i just go on pretending i like him that'll be even shittier if i do stop being friends with him!!#and he'd want the truth but nobody who says that actually wants the fucking truth!#but i can't just stay friends with him because he's being an asshole! (but maybe i'm biased and forgetting to see his side)#((a friend is scared of him and i understand what it's like to be scared of someone like that but i also understand that i was wrong))#[but also maybe i wasn't wrong and my emotions were invalidated] [[but also my mind's just telling me that so i can play the victim]]#and if i try to cut it off with him he's going to think i'm an asshole#and i AM because my mind keeps trying to be mean to him because i'm frustrated with this whole thing#(which is proof i'm an asshole) (but it's proof that i'm noce because i'm not being an asshole to him) (which is proof i'm dishonest)#but also i fucking drive him home which would be shitty to take away just because he's being an ass#and he's going to write a fucking callout post for my other friend for a whole thing that could have been avoided if they just talked#(but he told them not to talk to him) (and now they're scared of him) (probably because he plans on going to their fucking house)#hm. anyways these tags are going to be so funny to come up on when tumblr decides this is what i want when i type left parentheses#Anyways. me when i'm the mentally stable one of the friend group
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One thing you need to know about me is that I will never reblog anything that has the addition "this should be reblogged by everyone" or anything of the like.
#unless it's like#really funny and not a guilt trippy kind of bullshit#i can agree 130% with a post and then see that comment and I'm like#yeah no. go fuck yourself.#(this point has been made so many times but people don't get why it's annoying apparently. people don't dislike your stupid addition#because they secretly disagree with the post but because now it seems like some weird social obligation to rb is#rb this or you're a bad person is a clever marketing strategy but it's quite stupid because it weakens the original point#oh you're saying everyone should rb this? well now it looks like the ppl rbing actually just do it out of some feeling#of social obligation. not because they really want to but because they want to fulfill the arbitrary standards you just made up for being#a good person#and don't get me wrong most certainly are most people rb these posts still out of agreement with the original statement#but it's still annoying as fuck and also you'd think ppl would know by now that people don't generally like being told what to do#so my hypothesis is (and i won't do any research to prove or disprove it (i might be very wrong and most people don't mind obviously)) bjt#but my hypothesis is that people who originally agree with the post but have a strong desire of being free in their choices#won't actually end up rbing bc it's just not that free of a choice anymore bc you just had to make it 'obligatory' but we all know#nothing is obligatory on a stupid webbed site like this so they scroll past while people who maybe would have scrolled past now feel#like they might actually be a bad person if they don't do as it says but without actually caring about the content. which diminishes#the positivity the post originally was supposed to spread bc how do you tell ppl actually mean it now when they rb these things#anyway. am i ranting about something completely asinine phenomenon on tumblr.com? yes.#would it be better to not dedicate my time and energy into making a 'hate' post? absolutely. but that will never stop me from doing so#(also works for things like 'you guys HAVE to do xyz [for your (mental) health/etc]'. literally the best advice phrased like this#is counterproductive. post something that doesn't sound like you're judging everyone who does otherwise and maybe ppl will be more inclined#to believe whatever your point or statement is)#ok I'll stop#shut up amy#void screams
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Me vs the instinct to chug
#yall dont understand#i am not even drunk right now but i look at my beer and thing “yeah i should down that in one go”#anyway i just thought that was funny#I'm on vacation im allowed to drink gotta remind myself of that#im gonna ramble about my irl friends now bc they think this is funny that i of all people do this#so a couple guys in my year of my program are frat guys which means drinking games at parties like beer pong#we play this one game where you have to bounce the ping pong ball into the cups its called stack cup and i am very bad at it#but when you lose you are supposed to drink from what they call the 'bitch cup' which is just a little bit of every alcohol in the house#mixed together and most time we have an architecture party i drink enough to play the games and think ive gotta do things when my friends#say i don't actually have to this applies ten fold to when i lose stack cup and am faced with the bitch cup they say 'you dont have to drin#that paige' and i go all in and CHUG THAT THING usually its not even that gross because it's mostly bud light and some fruit flavored stuff#anyway thanks for coming to paige is your resource for fanfic writers that dont know what its like to drink or be drunk#they usually take the cup from me when i do that too
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i see a fellow rareshipper. grabs you.
proposition: vlad jr/andrey/grief.
i am overjoyed to learn about rareship(per)s because the game is our oyster and at its core We Ball (<- human philosophy) but i don't know if there's some kind of social convention wrt to ships i'm supposed to partake in now or if there's something in particular you would want me to say (if i'm being honest, i don't even know why people come at me with "hey what about [ship]" because i'm not sure what they want. validation? reassurance? none of these make sense to me, but maybe, again, there is some kind of social convention or transactional discourse i'm expected to partake in but i don't Get it i really don't Get it) so besides my usual response of "the world is your oyster + baller + let's fucking gooo" i don't know what to tell you. i don't know what you want me to tell you. because for what feels like the 10th time and what might be,
what proposition? a proposition for what? what part am i supposed to play in this exchange which i know the answer for
#bestie (grabs your face back) i don't know what you want from me. what you expect from me.#''proposition'' for what? of what? i don't ship it. you know i don't. i've said it at length. what proposition?#i assume it's not to ''consider'' it. i've considered it because i've seen it around; have not cared for it; and so i haven't talked about#because that's what i do when i come across a ship i don't care for. i just move on with my life#again. is there something. more. some kind of thing i am supposed to say here.#go merrily. ship freely. i think it's a funny fucking ship but i care not to be propositioned for it#just like all of the rest...#(slowly lets go of your face lovingly) bestie what doth thine heart desire...#ring ring (answers)#anonymous
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