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#what am I saying this has been a thing for decades
hairmetal666 · 2 days
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Steve has done interviews before. Like, a lot of interviews. YouTube, podcasts, print, TV stuff. Not as a brag, or anything, just. He's been an influencer for a long time, for better or worse, and it's part of the deal.
Usually, he's comfortable in front of the camera. Usually, he's poised and well-spoken. But today, this time, sweat pools under his arms and beads along his hairline, the lights beating down on him in a harsh glare.
"Steve Harrington," Murray Bauman crosses his legs, smiles big for the cameras. "It's been a while."
He smiles too, tries to seem like he's not about to have a panic attack. "I've been a little busy."
Murray laughs and it's then that Steve understands how screwed he really is. Murray's show, it's all glitz and glamour on the surface; mixed drinks and hijinks until the celebrity guests lose their inhibitions, admitting things they probably wanted to keep secret.
It's just that, before, Steve didn't have any salacious rumors to worry about, and now--
"You've had a rough year, Steve, yeah?"
"Not my best, for sure." He leans back, tries to seem calm, unbothered.
"I was sorry to hear about your divorce. I think that announcement really took a lot of people by surprise."
His hands clench, but he manages not to shift or bounce his leg. "Thanks for, uh. Yeah. We were also sorry it didn't work out."
Murray nods, face full of sympathy. "You and Nancy, you'd been together since high school? That's almost--what? 15 years?"
"It's--" he clears his throat. "About that long." Steve takes a sip of the drink next to him, an apple martini that's both too sweet and too strong.
"Am I right to assume that you didn't see it coming?"
And isn't that a question? Sure, now in hindsight, he can see the fractures that lead to the end, but six months ago did he--it's all so--what if all along--
"All marriages have rough patches," is what he says. "We just couldn't come out of ours as a couple."
"Do you know what I've found really remarkable about this phase of your life? The content and tone of your videos in the midst of the maelstrom of rumors and gossip didn't change at all. 'Your kids' as you call them, are still as bright and vibrant as ever. You're laughing, dancing, cooking, having a great time."
"I needed that--that normalcy you know? And the kids, they're such an important part of my life, having them around helped."
"Including Nancy's brother, Mike?"
Steve laughs and it's not fake. "Totally including Mike. My relationship with Nancy has nothing to do with my relationship with him."
"He's kind of an antagonist--would you say?--in your videos, though."
"We have conflict sometimes, but it's never serious. We know how to play it up for laughs."
"So, nothing's changed between you?"
"Not at all."
"The cheating rumors." Murray's smile is soft, but all the air still leaves the room.
"What about them?" It's more combative than he means, but--
"Did Nancy cheat on you with Jonathan Byers?"
He swallows and it hurts. She did cheat, is the thing. It's not public information, still only speculation, but--
"You can't believe everything you read, Murray."
"So, she didn't cheat?" There's a glow to Murray's eyes that tells Steve he already knows the answer.
"Like, I said before, marriages are hard. We spent a lot of time apart because of our jobs. It took a toll."
"And she was traveling with Jonathan, yes? He's been her photographer for the past decade, from what I understand."
"They were co-workers, but we're all close. And those rumors didn't help our relationship, for sure. It's--not easy to hear that a bunch of people think your wife and close friend may be having an affair, that people 'ship' them. Even when it's not true, it creates--"
"Tension? Distrust?"
"Both, probably." He takes another drink as he nods. "After a while you do start to wonder if there's truth to it, and you're too ignorant or too--too trusting to see it."
"And it eroded the relationship."
"It certainly didn't help." He takes another drink.
"And how about your relationship with Jonathan's brother, Will. Has that been impacted?"
"Of course not. Never. Whatever happens between Nancy, Jonathan, and I, it has nothing to do with the kids. They know that.
"You talked about it."
"Yes. Extensively."
"I know there's often speculation on the relationship you have with them; if you're really close or it's all for the cameras."
"Murray." He leans forward. "We've talked about this before. I met Dustin through Mike, and the whole group followed. I've known them all since they were 8 years old. They're--I mean, not to be cliche, but they're my family." He sips the last bit of martini.
"And where does Eddie Munson fit into that family?"
The question shouldn't be a surprise, but he almost does a spit take, has to fight to keep it together.
"Eddie?"
"Yes." Murray's smile is chilling. "Your close friend Eddie Munson. Musician. Plays Dungeons and Dragons on YouTube. You made out with him in a music video. Ringing any bells?"
"I'm familiar with Eddie," his grin is rigid. "I don't know what that has to do with my marriage ending."
"Well, the rumors weren't all about Nancy, were they?"
"Eddie and I have--we became mutuals online years and years ago. I used one of his songs in a video and the kids are obsessed with his dnd stuff, so. We've become close."
"Friends?"
"Isn't that implied?"
"After that music video, I don't think so."
Steve rolls his eyes, lets the irritation show for the first time. "He asked me to be in his video. There's nothing scandalous about it."
"What's your relationship with Eddie right now?"
"Like I said, friends."
"Do you want it to be more than that?"
"Eddie's really important to me."
"Is that all?"
"Not really sure what you want me to say here, Murray."
"You were married to a woman for years, but now there are questions about your sexuality."
He grits his teeth. "My sexuality isn't anyone's business aside my own. People can say shit on Twitter all they want, that doesn't mean they know me. But--the end of my marriage--it definitely gave me the space for self-discovery, I guess? In a way I hadn't had before."
"And is Eddie a part of that self-discovery?"
"Yeah, as one of my closest friends, he is."
"Do you have feelings for him?"
"That's--that's not--I'm going through a divorce. My focus isn't on starting another relationship right now."
"You, famously, tattooed your initials on the inside of his thigh during an Instagram live. That's pretty intimate."
"We were just having a little fun."
"Huh. That seems like more than 'a little fun' to me. So, how's Eddie doing with the increased attention?"
It takes Steve a second to track the change of subject, mind still stuck on the tattoo, on how the ink had looked on Eddie's pale skin.
"It's hard." Steve eventually answers. "Of course he enjoys bringing his music and dnd to a wider audience, but the focus on his personal life is--it's a lot."
"Well, he should have thought about before letting you tattoo him for your 850,000 followers. Does he want a relationship with you?"
His throat is dry, burning, he wishes he had more martini. He wishes he'd never taken a sip. "You'd have to ask him. I'm just taking it day by day, you know? That's what I need right now."
"We're getting to the end of our time, but you know I have to ask. Your best friend, Robin Buckley, she very famously unfollowed both Nancy and Jonathan on all social media when news broke about your divorce. Can you tell us why she unfollowed them?"
"I have no control over Robin's accounts. I didn't even know she followed Jonathan ever, and she and Nancy have a relationship outside of me, you know? I can't say what happened between them."
"She's been in your videos with Eddie. She like him?"
"Very much. It's kind of annoying actually. They keep ganging up on me."
"Much to everyone's delight, I'm sure. So, what can we expect from the newly single Steve Harrington?"
"There are a couple things in the works, but only time will tell."
---
He walks through his front door an hour later, and Eddie's sitting on the couch, playing a soft melody on an acoustic guitar. He stops when he sees Steve, setting the guitar aside, and standing.
"How'd it go, baby?" He asks. His soft smile is so beautiful, Steve gets a lump in his throat.
"As expected." He crosses the space between them, lets Eddie pull him close.
"He ask about us?" Eddie's breath tickles his ear.
"Of course."
"And you--"
"I want--it should be just for us. We should be able to announce when we're ready. Not when Murray-fucking-Bauman asks."
Eddie kisses him, then, sweet and slow, making him lose his breath.
"Whenever you're ready, I'll be right by your side."
"You sure? All my mess--"
"Is mine too. Afraid you're stuck with me for the long haul, Steve Harrington."
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beforetimes · 18 hours
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telepathy kink is always talked about but i loveee the way erik's relationship with charles' mutation is dependant on how much he trusts charles + how willing he would be to submit to charles should he ever use it. like in first class charles spends time flicking in and out of erik's head no issue because erik trusts charles and also when charles was in erik's head, he brought out a piece of happiness that erik no longer thought he had. so he's more willing to submit to charles' telepathy. and he puts the helmet on because he's more vulnerable directly after killing the man who was such a direct source of violence in his life and realizing that it wasn't enough—which probably shook erik to his core, because his whole life he's been hunting this one guy just to find that it's not over yet?
and then in days of future past, erik once again goes back to saying 'i don't have my helmet i couldn't disobey you if i wanted' which some people read as a taunt, some people read as him not accepting charles' mutation (which like? i don't think erik has ever not accepted him, but whatever) but i personally read it as erik once more trying to find his footing with charles after a decade apart.
anyway now that i talked about canon stuff i think specifically in the context of a sexual relationship, the telepathy stuff would be a way for erik to give up control over the situation and put his full trust in charles. which is important because a) erik is someone who thrives on being in control and finds it very important because so much of his agency was robbed of him and choosing to submit to a higher power than his own is something that insinuates a great deal of trust in the other party and b) charles is the only one who he could do this with because charles proved that he had the capacity to invade erik's mind and know him wholly and didn't take advantage of that and has shown time and time again he will help erik no matter what.
its also the fact that erik repeatedly implies that charles' telepathy will be used to control him when its a much more surface-level/baseline understanding that telepathy is the reading of minds rather than outright taking control of them. it's even in the definition of telepathy. but knowing charles can take control of him and constantly inviting him to (in an assumed sexual context, in this case) highlights how erik sort of longs to have responsibility for his actions taken away from him. which again can only be done by charles. not just because of his powers but because so many of his actions have directly hurt charles and he's the only one who can both metaphorically and physically relieve him of the culpability behind the consequences of what he's done when in complete control of himself. so again erik is someone who wants to relieve himself of his overly-controlling nature, his responsibilities, be completely vulnerable to someone who's seen him at his worst and loved him anyway.
and the only way erik can be all these things at once is by being under charles' control. (under the control of someone stronger than erik who has proven he will never hurt him with the power charles can exert over him).
so like sexually yes it's fun to say haha erik telepathy kink but also i think it is something much more tender which encapsulates the fact that erik is only this vulnerable with someone he has so much trust in and that person can only ever be charles because its only around charles he can truly be wholly himself. and so submissive erik is real to me #tbh
hope this makes sense i am kind of just rambling
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ask-me-later23 · 1 day
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Spencer Reid X Reader Fluff
In which a certain doctor asks you out for halloween weekend.
“Those who can dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” 
-Edgar Allan Poe.
There is a certain comfort that can be found in books. The written word creates an alternate reality in which your worries and stress can be forgotten. Even though physically, all you can see are letters on a page, you find friendship among the characters, wonder among the civilizations, and a home in a theoretical land that you will never get to touch. 
There is a structure within novels. Every story has a start and end point, a climax and a resolution. Even when times get tough and your heart gets shattered, you know there is a happy ending. Perhaps this is why they draw you in. 
A happy ending is a concept that keeps you moving. It keeps you standing, even when life stands on your doorstep threatening to blow your house down. 
It made sense that you would grow up to work in a library. When literary icons become easier to relate to and connect with than real people, it makes sense that you would surround yourself with them all day. 
What you never expected, however, was that these icons would one day push you to make connections with another broken soul, another person who believed that books were easier to bond with than people. 
It started four years ago…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hello the-” you jumped at the sudden appearance of the man next to you, dropping the pile of books you were sorting back onto the shelves.
“Oh! I’m so sorry. Let me help.” He immediately bent down to retrieve the fallen treasures. However, you were already bending down, causing you both to bump heads. 
“Jesus-”
“I am so sorry-” You both spoke at the same time, clutching your heads. You quickly gathered the books and set them aside, turning towards the stranger and giving him your full attention. 
He seemed taken aback, a slight tinge of color in his cheeks. He opened his mouth a few times, as if he were about to say something, only to quickly shut it again. 
“What can I help you with?”
This seemed to snap him out of his daze, he immediately lowered his eyes and pulled out a slip of crumpled paper.
“Yes. I was looking for this book. I tried finding it myself but it wasn’t in the spot it should be. I’m filling in for a lecture today and it was something I was looking into for the class. I know it’s extremely last minute, but I just found out I was even going to be able to attend this lecture. My schedule is normally far too busy to allow myself the free time to be able to do so, but somehow I was able to clear some space for it. If you could check to see if you still have it that would be great, but I also now see that you’re busy so I can just go ask someone else. I’m sorry I really shouldn’t have bothered you. Now I’m just taking up more of your time by explaining things that you probably didn’t even need to know…”
Your eyes widen at the sudden information dump this stranger had just landed on you. Before even giving you the chance to speak he moved to walk away and find another associate to ask for help. Lunging forward, you grabbed the sleeve to his sweater, noticing the way the cuffs looked worn out and stretched, as if he had been pulling on them.
“Come to the front with me and we can look into it.” Without giving him an opportunity to deny your services, you lead him towards the front desk, not letting go of his sweater. Surprisingly, he let you lead him forward. 
You finally released him, leaving him staring at the newly stretched area that matches the cuffs. You typed aggressively on the decades old keyboard as he told you the name of the book he was looking for. 
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but it does look like someone checked it out less than an hour ago.” You glance up at him, not missing the slightly disappointed look on his face. 
Something about that look irks you, you don’t even know this guy’s name but you feel the urge to help him.
“Oh…okay. That’s okay. Thank you anyways, I’m sorry I wasted your tim-”
“I have a spare copy in my apartment if you need one. Wait… not that I’m inviting you into my apartment… I just meant that I could go grab it for you if you need a copy. I understand being in a time crunch, you would be surprised at the amount of last minute events I have had to accommodate while working here,” You add as you pick your nails nervously, watching his face for a reaction. 
“I couldn’t ask you to do that, you’re in the middle of work. It’s okay, really,” He murmurs. You notice he starts tugging on his cuffs.
You ignore his protests, “What time is the lecture? I get off in 20 minutes and can meet you on campus. Before you can argue again, I’ve already decided I’m doing this. You’ll find I can be very hard to sway.”
His cheeks turn a lovely rosy shade again as he stutters out, “It starts at 6, but I was planning on getting there at 5 to give myself time to prepare.”
Hearing exactly what you needed too, you raise your hand across the desk. “I’ll meet you in the library then.”
He hesitates, staring at your outstretched hand. Quietly, he adds, “Handshakes are extremely unsanitary. There is an extremely high level of pathogens passed during them. It would actually be safer to kiss someone rather than shake their hand.”
After realizing what he said you both are glancing at your feet. You can feel your cheeks warming and are sure his are the same. 
As if realizing his error he attempts to correct himself, stuttering, “I- I only meant that-”
“I know what you meant. It's okay.” You let out a nervous chuckle. 
“I have to go. I’ll, um, I’ll meet you there.” He rushes out the door before you get a chance to catch this stranger's name. Laughing to yourself at this odd encounter, you return to your forgotten friends and resume placing them on the shelves. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Georgetown University library was always one of your favorites. Even the dark corners that would normally scare people away offered you a sense of comfort that you couldn’t deny.
Even with the oddness of the day, you somehow found yourself incredibly calm at the idea of meeting a somewhat stranger, whose name you didn’t even know, to hand over a book you have spent countless hours scanning, annotating and highlighting the contents of. 
You find said stranger wandering in between some of the shelves, looking closely at the spines in front of him. 
Taking a moment to watch him, you noticed his long hair that he kept tucked behind his ears, not missing the lock that kept falling into his face. He repeatedly tucked it back, the action looking so mindless it is clear it's something he does often. He was wearing converse, not matching the formal look of the rest of his attire. It seemed out of place, yet somehow fit together. As he examined a book from the shelf, you watched him flip through so quickly you thought he was just skimming, only to realize the intense stare he held proving he was deeply invested in whatever it was. It was a feeling you were all too familiar with, getting lost in another world hidden between the pages.
Smiling, you walked over quietly, not wanting to disturb his focus. You stopped in front of him, still somehow unable to notice you he goes to flip the next page.
“Hello there.”
This startles him, you giggle slightly as he drops the book he was holding. Both reaching down to pick up the fallen literature, you bump heads.
“Wow this situation seems oddly familiar,” you laughed as he grabbed the book from the ground. When he stands back up his cheeks are flushed again and he quickly places the book back in its designated spot on the shelf. 
“I- um… So you were able to find the book?” He stuttered out, swallowing roughly.
“All yours professor.” You pulled the item out of your bag, offering it to him hesitantly.
“I’m not an actual professor. I actually work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit at Quantico. I’m just here as a guest speaker. It’s something I do for fun when I have the time.” He gently takes the book out of your hands, fingers being careful not to brush yours as he takes it. 
“So Agent?”
“Doctor.”
“Doctor…?”
He stares at you for a few minutes with his eyebrows pushed together, titling his head.
“Nevermind.” You giggled. “So you still have about forty minutes to kill before your lecture. How would you feel about a pre-speech coffee?” You drop your gaze to your shoes once more, pulling at the loose thread on your sweater.
“That sounds great actually.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You never would have thought that he was a 1% coffee 99% sugar kind of guy, but here you were watching the not-so-strange-stranger dump 10 packets of sugar into his coffee. Your lip formed a hard line and your eyebrows were attempting to shoot for the stars as you watched him take a sip and not throw up from the unholy amount of sweetness that he had concocted. 
“Are you okay?” He asks. The man creased his eyebrows looking at you, searching your face for signs of illness. 
“Would you like some coffee with that sugar?” You chuckled.
His eyebrows pushed together, a look of concern forming until you pointed to his coffee cup. His mouth morphed into an “O” shape and he looked down as you both moved towards the area he was speaking at. 
“I like it sweet,” he whispered. 
“Sweet would be an understatement.” You laughed at his reaction.
“You’re drinking black coffee,” He said it like a statement, a tone of finality following his words.
“I prefer black.” 
“Loneliness is a black coffee and late night television; solitude is herb tea and soft music,” he muttered as you approached the door.
“Solitude, quality solitude, is an assertion of self-worth, because only in the stillness can we hear our own unique voices. Pearl Cleage,” you finished his quote.
He glanced sideways at you, eyes wide. “I- uh-” 
“I work in a library and have a PhD. in English literature. I can recognize quotes from my icons doctor.” You smirk as he stumbles over his feet.
Before he is able to continue you both arrive at the classroom he will be presenting in. He turns to you, still not quite meeting your eyes and pulls on his sweater again.
“Thank you for the book…and the coffee. I'll-uh be sure to return it to the library.”
You go to agree but the words die on your lips. Somehow the idea of today’s strange events ending unsettles you. You could easily leave and let him return the book to your workplace. He knows where it is clearly. But without even a name you are unsure you will ever see him again. Telling yourself it is out of concern for your belongings, you speak.
“Actually, I was thinking about sticking around and listening in…if that's okay?” Now it is your turn to stare anywhere but his face. “That way I can make sure it doesn’t get lost in the library's books, you know?”
He hesitates for a moment and opens his mouth to speak, thinking better of it he simply offers a smile and nods, rushing inside to get set up. You follow a group of students inside and find a seat, waiting to see the action.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the last student clears out you return from your daze you had found yourself in while listening to the man’s lecture. You found yourself admiring his nervous tics and the way he paced the front as he discussed behavioral analysis and criminology. You also didn’t miss the way his eyes somehow found yours, as if making sure you were still there, every so often. It was an interesting lecture, but perhaps the most interesting part about all of this was that you finally knew the stranger’s name.
“Doctor Spencer Reid.”
He glanced up from his belongings that he was quickly packing up, confused, “what?”
“I finally learned your name,” you smiled. 
He returned the smile. It was genuine and broad, transforming his entire face. Crinkles formed around his eyes and a dimple complimented the upturned direction of his lips. As if realizing you were staring at his lips you cleared your throat and tried to ignore the heat in your cheeks. 
“Here’s your book back…thank you.” He extended the subject of today’s debacle. Hesitantly, you took it, although this time you noticed your fingers brush against one another and shockingly, he didn’t immediately pull away. Checking your watch you quickly put the book back in your bag and looked back at him. 
“I have to get going, it's getting a little late, but thank you for the lecture and the entertainment,” offering him the most sincere smile you could pull off you added, “Spencer.”
With that, you turned and began walking out the room but not before you heard him protest.
“Hey, wait. You never gave me your name either.”
Not stopping, just casting a glance over your shoulder, you offered back, “You’re a behavior analyst who works for the FBI, I’m sure you can figure it out.” Walking out the door you leave the doctor, who for once looked at a loss for words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been four years since then. Spencer began frequenting the library shortly after, finding excuses to come in and read something new. Somewhere along the way he developed a knack for bringing you coffee as well. A trade-off of sorts, coffee for books and company. You couldn’t deny the friendship you both had, or how much it meant to you both. 
Walking around the pumpkin and ghost covered library you hummed a happy tune. Halloween was always your favorite time of year. The temperature dropped and spirits were raised as everyone anticipated ideas for costumes, how much candy they would get, or what parties they planned on attending. For you, however, it was the aesthetic of it all. The changing of the leaves, the pumpkin carving, the pumpkin spice everything. You sometimes find yourself wanting to share it all with someone.
Spencer walks in just then, interrupting your thoughts with promises of caffeine. You drop your task at hand and meet him halfway.
“Please tell me you have brought coffee, otherwise I might just die on the spot Spencer.” You take the cup from him as he chuckles slightly, seeming to be in a good mood today. Halloween was something the two of you both shared a love for.
“You do know the average human is only supposed to consume four cups of coffee a day? I’m assuming this will be at least your sixth.” He gives you a pointed look with his eyebrows raised expectedly. “But yes, there is caffeine in there.”
You smile triumphantly and take a sip, “and this is why you are my favorite professor-slash-agent-slash-doctor there ever was.” 
His cheeks turn pink and he looks down. Giggling at his reaction, you nudge his foot.
“So what brings you here today doc?”
“You know, the origins of halloween are incredibly fascinating, it’s one of the most popular holidays, only rivaled by Christmas. It’s a sort of melting pot for a lot of different traditions from different cultures, but I always liked the idea that the Celtics and Europeans believed it was the one night a year that ghosts and spirits could walk the Earth again. This was what started the tradition of wearing costumes and masks, so that people couldn’t be recognized by the ghosts.”
You did know all of this, but you weren’t going to kill his mood like that, so instead you simply smiled along. “And here I thought halloween was all pumpkins and spice and everything nice.”
His attention seemed elsewhere for a minute, he gave a sad smile and turned back to face you, “not always.”
“Don’t worry doc,” you nudge him slightly. “I’ll protect you from the ghosts and goblins.”
He stares at you for a moment, opening his mouth as if he wanted to say something. You notice a slight pink color creep up his neck and he looks down before speaking again.
“So what are your Halloween weekend plans?”
“Still toying with a few ideas. There's always so much going on, it’s hard to choose to be honest.” You returned to your desk, sorting through a stack of discarded books. “What about you?”
You notice he hesitates, toying with the sleeves on his shirt. The pink has turned into a lovely shade of crimson that has you holding back a smile before he pushes forward, “There is actually a reenactment showing the nineteenth century phantasmagoria that I was looking into. It was invented in France and was basically a pre-cinema projected ghost show in which the showman attempted to spook the audience using science magic. I- I, uh, I have an extra ticket if maybe you’d want to possibly come with me. If you aren’t busy, but you also said you were thinking about doing something so it’s okay if you say no.”
You drop the book you were holding with a very loud thud on your desk. “Shut. up.”
Spencer finally looks up confused, you interrupt him by grabbing your purse from behind you, pulling out two tickets. You show them off with a laugh.
“I have an extra ticket to the Edgar Allen Poe shadow puppet show. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with me. I didn’t know anyone else that would be interested in old man, creepy poetry shadow puppets.”
He immediately looks relieved. “We could always do both? They’re at separate times. Maybe even take a break for some dinner? If you want too…obviously you don’t have too.”
“Spencer Reid, are you asking me out on a date?” You covered the feeling of your cheeks heating up with a smirk, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. Spencer was by no means unattractive, and at this point you had both definitely gotten to know each other on a pretty familiar level. You both had even hung out outside of the library before. But taking that next step had never been something either of you had even talked about. 
“I- uh- Well… I-” Suddenly the human robot began to malfunction before your eyes and you couldn’t help but cackle at his response. He coughed roughly and pushed out his next words, “If that’s okay with you?”
Something about how nervous he was only made the butterflies worse, but truthfully you knew there was always a fondness for the man that existed on a deeper level than just friends. You were on a first name basis with each other’s skeleton’s and never shied away from the closets they hid in. It had taken a while for you each to get that comfortable, both too scared by your own trauma to think about sharing it with someone else. Truthfully you didn’t think you trusted anyone more with your heart.
“Only took you four years to ask doc.”
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my-mt-heart · 2 days
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Putting the "ew" in EW
There are a lot of things wrong with the article, but let's start with the glaringly obvious...
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Instead of letting Daryl's and Carol's connection speak for itself and letting fans get excited to see the connection as they've understood it for over a decade, Dalton Ross tries to project his own POV onto us, overemphasizing a platonic friendship as if it's the only right answer and ignoring the core of Caryl's fanbase, who are well within reason to want payoff to a romantic love story between Caryl that was earned time and time again in the flagship show. If his goal was to define the relationship for us once and for all, he completely fails. All he's really doing is exposing himself as yet another deeply insecure and toxic middle-aged white man who can't fathom a middle-aged woman with gray hair as a romantic partner for the middle-aged male protagonist. It's ignorant at best and at worst, it's aiding an effort to hurt Melissa's viewership (worth noting that Dalton Ross is one of Gimple's connections). But sadly, his spin is not even the worst problem...
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This has to be one of the most ridiculous exchanges between a showrunner and a lead actor that I've ever read, but to cut to the chase, if the former is so disconnected from Daryl that he doesn't know the first thing about how this character forms attachments with others or why it takes him so long and what that says about his relationship with Carol, he shouldn't be the showrunner. That's been clear since S1 and in every interview he does, so at this point, AMC is shooting themselves in the foot the longer they keep him on or even just let him open his mouth.
In case I haven't made myself perfectly clear a million times, I am here for the Daryl I connected with when he became the most loyal and loving man to Carol and his family in the flagship show. I am here for The Book of Carol because I want to watch Carol rise above her trauma as she's risen above so many challenges in her life and I want to watch her finally claim a love she didn't think she was worthy of before, which is true love/romantic love/soulmate love with Daryl (look, I can overemphasize too). I want to watch Melissa McBride, who has also had to rise above so many challenges as a woman in the industry, give one powerful performance after another after another. I want her to get all the praise from fans and critics that she deserves and I want her to have more creative control since she's the one who really knows how to do Carol's story justice. Imagine if all we had to analyze was her own words...
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I am so fucking tired of other EPs trying to turn the beautiful things she has to say and the beautiful things she brings to her show into a footnote because they always have to be so overt in their misogyny, ageism, arrogance, and stupidity first. I am fucking tired of feeling unwelcome to a show being marketed as #TWDCARYL when I am both a Carol and a Daryl fan who also ships them together. The perpetual mess doesn't speak to Melissa's value or to her fans' priorities. I will continue to direct my blame at the other EPs, and I need AMC to start doing the same. Stop giving David Zabel, Greg Nicotero, and Scott Gimple a platform. Stop giving into their need to promote themselves. Stop losing viewers over them. Let's get a showrunner who understands Carol's and Daryl's characters as well as their relationship, and here's a new idea, let's get journalists/reviewers who don't try to shove their own insecurities down our throats to cover the aspects of the show that we actually connect with. Believe it or not, those of us who are loudly complaining do want to be here.
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tariah23 · 8 months
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His videos are always so…
youtube
#he hasn’t posted in a while either so oh wow#I’m glad he’s still making videos#yeah…. a lot of these edgy black content creators revolve their whole content around punching down on the little guys#going for what’s shocking rather than actually attempting to say something actually funny#either they’re making fun of the lgbt community or they’re laughing at black women#it’s like….#rambling#like I notice that this kind of content is usually from black dudes as well because of course#it’s been going on since the vine days well a little bit before that#but this kind of content got more extreme during the vine days for sure or bad at least started to manifest itself more#the guys in wigs pretending like their ghetto black girls (always making fun of darkskin bw…)#what am I saying this has been a thing for decades#there are sm of them that never do that tho like#rcd world (I’ve been watching them since HS I think lmfao or at least college)#druski’s always been hilarious I could easily see him getting his own show on adult swim or something#Caleb city has always made fun content as well lol#the video does mention a very old video from him that was transphobic I’m guessing (never saw it) but I’m sure he got backlash and took it#down but he’s never made any content like that again for sure#killakaytv is funny too#there’s more but these are the ones that come to mind without me having to think about it they even make content#that’s just edgy af for no reason most of them suck tho if I’m being real I don’t have too much faith for black male content creators 🗿#they can barely keep the fact that they hate black women and lgbt folks out of their content like it’s exhausting#like I could easily rec the folks mentioned simply because they’re actually funny and don’t make content that’s purely mean spirited af#Youtube#crazy about this video#the video is more about edgy content but yeah
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atopvisenyashill · 4 months
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i love when people are like “oh i definitely think bloodraven’s methods are evil but i do think his goals are noble” no i’m saying i think his goal is evil he just doesn’t realize exactly how evil or he just doesn’t care. i think he’s bran’s evil mentor and the turning point in both of their stories will be whether bran ~accepts the pomegranate seeds~ or whether he rejects them. bran is fleeing that cave no matter what he chooses, but he will choose and brynden is gonna have an opinion on that choice!!
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derpinette · 9 months
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english used to be the normie filter & how you could tell someone was a Trve Internethead but after the DAMNED 2020 quarantine for obvious reasons EveryBody & They Momma is acceptably fluent so now i have to learn swedish or something. -_-
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#already been spending time this past year & a half i only need someone to actually speak it with IRL for maximum efficiency#technically i want to say 2019 people were already turning to english at least in my city. 7 year old me would be so happy but#ARRRRRRGHHHHHHH#YOU ARE POSERS I HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WITH YOU & I NEVER WILL. has me feeling so ♯DECEIVED#native english speakers will probably never understand this feel#speaking english now is just as cringe as i thought being francophone was a decade ago Yes even as a child i was against normies#i was forcibly taught.by my millennial older brother i had no choice but to abide by that line of thought & so here i am today#well he was right. not anymore he ain't but he used to be#but technically you can say this new wave of self taught anglophones are going against the current & remnants of colonialism so well#it is a good thing objectively i just miss the ease of recognizing Real back in the day TT_TT like you just KNEW they shared your interests#& weirdness they knew your references it said something about what their social status likely was too ETC ETC. But not anymore...#i enjoyed it tho i had a bestfriend whom i mostly spoke english with & we were known for it we were outcasts#i distinctly remember this fag who got so mad at us & harassed us for it during middle school recess. like fluency was a bad thing#we were not even gossiping about him Altho we should have been. & that was the best part is that it was a barrier#so you could talk about anything out loud & nobody would be able to understand you & at the time it was just us & our older siblings#+their friends
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milflewis · 7 months
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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keeps-ache · 9 months
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lemon is good on everything, lime is good on the things that are not everything, and so the world remains in balance
#just me hi#what is not Everything? most things‚ you'll find actually#but if it's most things then how is lemon good on everything? isn't that only Some things? mmmno :)#lime is good but only on specific foods that i've never had lemon with before. that's the only way it works sorry hbvfhsfv#lime tastes like peel and lemon tastes like the meat (flesh? meat ???? f... it's flesh right ??)#and sometimes i Have to have the peel. the universe [<- unknowable cravings] demands it#but usually there's no lime around so. just gotta bite the outside of the lemon lmao#which is actually Worse ?? it's Terrible hfsh#/KEY LIME PIE. it's good. so so good#/but anyway like lime is good with corny things. like tamales orrr... thiiiiings........#top ten things my dad would never let go Hfvshfv#/we've been arguing about the colour pink for nearly a decade. we've been doin that since i was like 8-9#'rose' is just 'pink'. be for realsies my guy#rose can be a shade but it is NOT it's own colour !!!! you wouldn't say 'emerald' if you Only meant green. i should start doing that...#'rOsE' get outta here hvfsh#//speaking of roses i just remembered i wanted to make chocolate-covered strawberries again#i wanted to do that last year but i. forgor hfbvhs#//WAIT and then my sibling has been telling me pink is just a shade of red#i'm going to lose my mmmmmiiiindddd lmfoafvbhfvaj#how am i fighting the same argument on opposite ends of the scale what !!!!!!#rose is pink but pink is NOT red !! pink is it's own colour it has it's own hues and temperatures and and and#JUST because you can get a light red (sort-of pink but i won't allow it Now) from it does NOT mean it's still red !!#is purple still blue?? is green still yellow ?? i'm going to commit a funkin crime!!!!#and then my MOM keeps telling me that VIVID-RED clothing is ORANGE. WHAT#I'M.. SOMEBODY SAVE ME#ORANGE??? it is OBVIOUSLY RED#i see NO yellow tinge in that mothertrucker put it BACK on the RACK and don't TALK to me#ORANGE. FVHDVHSF#we even had one of my siblinsg go and ask some employees if they were orange or red (very very nice ladies) and they said FIREY RED#MOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 4 months
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#warning: rant about parent ahead#I’m so so so so so empathetic to mental health struggles#like exceedingly so#but it’s just so exhausting being on the receiving end of someone’s self-loathing#and to be clear I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE HERE#you are all my phone besties and I have so much empathy for your struggles and know that i love you all#and wish i could say the right thing to support you all always and you are always welcome to share whatever is going on#and to quote the bard herself i wish i could take the bombs in your head and disarm them#but when my mother gets into these moods she just seems to use it as a way to get a rise out of us#she’s pulling the ‘well maybe you don’t want to do x with me because it’s not fun because I’m a terrible person and you’re scared of me#and i ruin everything so maybe you would just rather i do everything alone’#and i don’t doubt she feels horrible and i know she has intrusive thoughts etc#but that is so manipulative!!!! she then puts the onus on us to reassure her that she is not!!!! But that is not what she wants!!!!#which we then do profusely and remind her that we do love her and we do do things together and whatever the fuck is the problem of the day#but of course she won’t hear it#so yes it makes us scared of her because we are always worried we’re going to say the wrong thing in a given moment!!!!#i just shut the fuck up at all times now#but my dad tries to use reason with her and of course it just ends in her lashing out and projecting all this shit on him#’oh you maybe you actually hate me maybe you want to leave me’ etc#THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED DECADES HE’S THE MOST LOYAL AND KINDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD HE NEVER ONCE HAS#i honestly don’t know how he lets this roll off his back because i am so fed up with it#It’s just so so so so hard because one minute she’s ‘herself’ and the other she’s this inferno#and we just have to ride whatever wave she’s on and it sucks all the air out of the room#it’s like the one and only time i tried to very gently bring up that something she said was hurtful *after she’d brought it up herself*#she went on a ‘oh I’m a terrible person/terrible parent’ rant and it then turned into me reassuring her that she isn’t#i was just trying to show her how the language/behaviour she uses was hurtful to me#so anyway that was lesson learned that even if she invites it i will never speak of it and luckily she hasn’t since and that was years ago#But it’s just… i know bad thoughts can’t be helped and again i feel so much pain on her behalf for what she struggles with#and i wish i could help but there’s absolutely nothing i can do#AND SHE’S GONE OFF ALL HER MEDS SO THE ONE SOURCE SHE DID HAVE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE EITHER
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harrowharkwife · 1 year
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x
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gayjaytodd · 10 months
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the tragedy of bruce wayne is that no matter how much time passes, he is still a child in an alleyway, standing over his dead parents
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bloodyke · 11 months
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next person to bring up project 2025 to fearmonger support for genocide joe is getting blown up i cannot stand you bitches
#zenith.txt#yall know NOTHING#you only have 1 talking point and its never worked#if you want people to vote you need to give them something to vote FOR not something to vote against or else all arguments are meaningless#second of all who the fuck do you think is currently laying the groundwork for project 2025? its literally biden#all the shit you fear is gonna happen is ALREADY STARTED UNDER HIS PRESIDENCY#third of all you all sound like fucking GHOULS when you say 'yeah genocide is bad but if we dont vote itll inconvenience ME this time'#what the fuck is wrong with you#joe biden will not get a second term that is a fact and it will be his own fault#if you guys ACTUALLY cared about these issues you would be mobilizing in your communities instead of yelling vote blue no matter who#its the fact that weve known about project 2025 for a whole year now but yall are only just now bringing it up bc people#are criticing biden more than ever and it scares you that your precious status quo is being challenged#legitimately fuck all of you trying to weaponize the fears of marginalized communities#the privilege in saying that under repubs things will get worse...#itll get worse FOR YOU. all of the things you worry about finally affecting YOU are literally already fucking happening#to black and brown (particularly black and brown disabled people) for DECADES#and im saying this from a place of privilege being white myself#yes i am a gay disabled puerto rican but i am white first and have been able to for the most part avoid a lot of the shit that has been#KILLING my family and the people in my communities#all of the things youve been saying will happen in project 2025 are things i have already fucking watched happen to the people around me#the only difference between now and this hypothetical project 2025 is now it will effect white people too#and thats the only reason yall even fucking care about it because now YOUR life is going to terrible and YOU cannot ignore it anymore#everything you criticized trump for biden and his team also does.#yall are so fucking pathetic wringing your hands and spouting the lie of electoralism but you refuse to do anything#that could enact meaningful change beacuse the point is you guys dont actually want change#the only thing yall want is to have people stop talking about all of this so you can continue to walk around with your head down#and not be inconvenience in your daily life bc you actually enjoy the status quo#saying you have to vote for the wolf in sheeps clothing over the wolf is not fucking better they are the exact same thing#and its time yall opened your fucking eyes to the world around you#'i domt support genocide but-' THERE IS NO BUT HERE.
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euclydya · 1 year
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every now and then when we say something in-sys we DO still hear Allan's voice but barely so
and sometimes. they're like "QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD??" when,
We never DID explicitly tell anyone that, and
He is dead? He's literally a ghost. He honest to god legit for realsies died in 2019.
and he's like..,,,, "oh right! lmao sorry I forgot, carry on" JDJSMSKDMFCN??
#pk;m electrochemistry🔴#no idea where Rosie got off to and what connection Allan has rn isn't enough to ask them#his whole 'voicing other people's thoughts/what they're saying' thing is an autopilot thing he does & at this point#since he's been doing it for over a decade he's barely aware of it now#but w Rosie it's like. Ok. Well. There's a ton of similarities between hir & I. what if sie.... um.#and I'm like WELL THAT'S PROBABLY NOT THE CASE AHAHA [<= in denial in case that Is the case.]#but also like Actually logistically that's probably not what's happening here#cuz that doesn't FEEL like what's happening. hir & Allan r probably in some weird void somewhere#There's also The Horrors that ce sometimes Reminds Me Of Against My Will so I think if ce DID integrate into me#that would not Happen. it feels very 'I am forcibly receiving these memories from someone else'#and not 'I Myself Am Suddenly Remembering These Things And It Sucks' it's like ce's shoving them into my brain remnants#so aNYWAYS! THIS IS FINE [it's not but it's like on the levels of 'I keep bumping into shit' on the Annoyances Scale#very Low but still mildly painful and Annoying.]#idk how much awareness either of them have rn or have had for the past Ever since they stopped being able to front#like we Have tried asking and we get nonsense or nothing in response#so. ??????????? cool?????????????? well anyways. if that changes and they come back and they don't like any changes we've made to things#that's their problem then ig! jxjaksskxj
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I'm not one to be petty about music. I like cosmo@bousou-p's earlier works. I just think their modern works simply are worse because they're not meant to be songs for listening, but the Next Big Hardest Rhythm Game Track. literally lamest way of selling out
#They arent unique for yaminabe either like mr bungle has literally been doing this for decades#HATER tag#<- new thing i devised for complaining#Like if you compare disappearance of hatsune miku vs like. anything theyve made in the past year it gets obvious that theyve stopped caring#for the rhythm of the vocals and are just squishing together obscene amounts of syllables and make the song sound extremely arrythmical#Just to make it go fast. even the songs they try to have a more “chill” vibe fall flat because of their need to do this. AND THERE ARE ways#of mashing together calm and rapid fast well. Like listen to their shinigami song and then to elysian tunes' breakwave paradise and youll#see what i mean. Basically i am not even upset about this i just have a lot of thoughts and i kind of really hate when people sell out#Do you understand. Am i making sense.#edit to say um. I did not mean “disappearance of hatsune miku” i meant “THE REAL disappearance of hatsune miku” their followup work#Disappearance of hatsune miku didnt suck for this either btw it did the whole unrhythmic syllables smashed together but cosmo didnt even#try to use them musically. It was there to make miku say a lot and not sing a lot and thats ok. Now they put that in the chorus and i...#dont like it one bit. Ok that is all i may delete this come the next morning because it looks like km gettjng into discourse instead of#just logging my stream of consciousness out there as if it matters. thats all for real this time
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fulltimeviking · 2 years
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"your secondary research, arguments and ideas were very original and impressive and showed very thorough demonstration. you should be incredibly proud of this work this is genuinely the best i've marked of yours in three years. also i know i told you that structure is subjective and there's no right way to structure an essay but you structured this wrong and your title is very wordy lol so here's a 66"
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#I am so severely praying on her downfall she has no idea#i was going to be mysterious and not rant in the tags but i NEED TO omg#she wouldn't stfu about 'i want original ideas. give me something ORIGINAL GUYS'.#and this woman i'm absolutely convinced has it out for me because she has nitpicked and destroyed every single assignment i've done for her#(she marked me down for an audio recording of a presentation because apparently i didn't handle the subject matter 'maturely')#(she thinks i didn't want to say the words breasts or folds)#(I didn't CARE i was literally just out of breath from trying to fit 20 slides into a ten minute voice note but FINE WHATEVER)#so anyway for this essay i was like fucking bet i'm about to blow you away#but there was nothing she taught us in the seminars that was really worth expanding on#or that hadn't been taught or talked about before#so i went ahead and did this massive essay on eroticism of the decadence period. fin de siecle. victorian hellenism etc#all the research btw i did myself because all this woman did was mention pederasty maybe once in person#and she had the nerve to mention that i had 'planted the seeds for a first tier essay' like WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN#if the only thing that it lacked was 'slightly awkward structure' 'occasional referencing mistakes' and a WORDY TITLE#A FUCKING WORDY TITLE#WHY NOT JUST GIVE IT A 70#noooooo she had to be different couldn't even give me a 68. fucking 66.#absolute tramp i fucking hate this woman idc#she's my personal tutor as well how absolutely useless
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