#what a dillweed

[six-demon-bag]

DANIEL BRÜHL as Ernst Schmidt THE CLOVERFIELD PARADOX (2018) dir. Julius Onah

[chipthekeeper]

straight people truly watch television with their eyes closed

[thychesters]

chopper’s fight with kumadori … this is the worst thing i have ever seen. leave him alone!! he took two rumble balls and he’s covered in blood!! stop hitting him with your stupid finger guns!!

[nachosncheezies]

grraghghahahghgah i don't think i was even this sleepy after a 15-hour field day 😴

if anyone wants to send me more characters to hear what i think (when i'm awake again) please do :D so far I have done

Blindspot - Jane Doe, Patterson

#Poorly Understood Critical Role - Fearne, Ashton, La...idk, the dead one

X Files - Skinner, Krycek, (Mulder is in progress but I literally can't think anymore rn hence this post)

[intriga-hounds]

i have long suspected that i have off the charts ADHD…i’ve spoken to doctors about this, who agree and refer me to the psych dept only for me to never make the appt……………

i have a lot of the classic symptoms: disorganization, interrupting others, difficulty listening, either doing 200 things or 0, etc.

but i just found out that bluntness is a well-documented aspect of ADHD. i literally JUST got roasted by my sister and best friend about being too blunt, and when i brought it up with other people, they all laughed and agreed i’m frank to a fault. many people have told me they’re just glad they’re on my good side, that i’m intimidating, etc.

in online social interactions in particular, i often come across as a giant dillweed bc i will say exactly what i’m thinking without social niceties attached and i’ve hurt lots of feelings that way. i have a tendency to put people on the defensive and make them feel like i’m talking down to them, even when i have no bad intentions whatsoever.

anyway i pretty much am never intending to put people down or kick anybody around, but i’m aware that that’s the vibe i give off, and frankly i’m too lazy most of the time to embellish my social interactions with the buffers i know will put people more at ease around me.

as a side bar, i do not have this issue when “performing” (such as when i’m teaching). however, when socializing with peers, it is a big problem.

i have other social issues associated with ADHD (such as having trouble keeping in touch, even with local friends), but this was one i hadn’t realized was well-documented and recognized (as opposed to, you know, social media “symptoms” that are just things that everyone does).

anyway, all this to say, it felt reaffirming to know that my bluntness is just another ADHD thing, and while i certainly won’t use this as an excuse to be rude, nor will i stop working on bettering myself, it’s good to know i’m not just being a dick for no reason. :)

[j4gm]

SPOILERS!!! REFERENCES AND EASTER EGGS IN F&C ep. 7: THE STAR

Let's see what this episode has in store.

This is an alternate universe where Simon was killed by vampires before he found Marceline. Even the scientific parasite in his breast pocket looks like it has been drained of blood.

Our Simon demonstrating his survival skills. We never got to see him dealing with vampires in his own universe, but presumably he ran into them a few times and is familiar with their weaknesses.

These kinds of vampire minions last appeared in the Stakes miniseries. They are a lot more varied in design now. Also, the architecture of this world is interesting. It looks like gothic palaces have been built into the roots of decaying skyscrapers.

Bonnie's crew has several of the familiar vampire hunting tools from Stakes, including stake launchers and garlic bombs. They also douse some of the vampires in holy water, which was previously shown to harm demons in the episode Dad's Dungeon. This is the first time it's been seen working on vampires.

Marshall Lee has a Hambo mirror decoration. In the prime universe Hambo was Marceline's toy teddy bear, given to her by Simon.

Martin is an interesting choice for Bonnie's crew. In this universe it seems like he never had a son, since the humans presumably never left Ooo for the Islands. It also seems like he's a better person here, willing to risk his life to follow Fionna's noble lead. He has the same jacket as he had in The Visitor, which several people identified when we first saw Fionna wearing it in the trailer.

The cat on Bonnie's mug is Timmy from the episode The Pajama War. The fact she broke it is surely the most heartbreaking loss of this episode :(

The other member of the team is Huntress Wizard, who looks to be a human in this universe for some reason. I don't think Huntress Wizard was originally human in the prime universe.

Baby Finn snuck into this universe, and by the end of the episode was left to be raised by self-repairing battletank single gay dad PepButt. I'm sure he'll turn out fine.

The Cosmic Owl has been flagged up on Scarab's arrest list for "profiteering". Perhaps his neglect of his duties during Hoots has been discovered, or perhaps this is a new crime.

There are loads of new genderswapped characters in this scene. I've already reblogged a post listing all the ones we've spotted so far, so refer to that for details. The most significant is Ms. Abadeer. According to the credits, her first name is Hana.

Even Billy has been slain by vampires.

Princess Bubblegum calls Fionna a dillweed, her go-to insult from the episode Hot Diggity Doom. It's good to hear some Adventure Time swearing from time to time despite the liberties they're taking with the TV-14 rating.

Enter the titular character! Like the other members of the Vampire Court from Stakes, Marceline has taken a new name from the ranks of the Major Arcana of a tarot deck: The Star. Huntress mentions that she is the last member of the court, having outlived everyone beside the Vampire King himself. The fact she can fly suggests she killed and sucked The Fool's soul despite him being a fellow member of the court.

She is seen using her soul-sucking demon powers, inherited from Hunson, on Martin. She also demonstrates that she has no problem drinking blood in this universe, despite the fact vampires can eat the colour red.

Bonnie and The Star have such an interesting dynamic in this episode. It seems like fate is seeking to entwine them, but this has been twisted into a relationship of mutual hatred. Yet The Star is furious when a minion suggests she kill Bonnie, and Bonnie fails to take an opportunity to kill The Star later on. Something is keeping these two immortals in an eternal dance, even in a universe where they are arch nemeses.

A lot of this series has centred around Simon's relationship to fatherhood, and realising that he is a better dad than some of the others he's met will likely end up being a key moment in his recovery.

I believe this section was boarded by Hannah K. You've probably all seen her famous Bubbline stakeplay drawing. This scene must have been fun to draw.

I really enjoyed the parallel of Gary and Marshall getting their climactic kiss while Bonnie and The Star fell together to their deaths, demonstrating that the girls' fall was just as gay as the boys kissing, but in a very different way. We also know from interviews that Gary and Marshall's relationship is supposed to parallel that of early Bubbline in the prime universe. Perhaps Princess Bubblegum got Marceline out of a bad deal with Hunson Abadeer, shortly after their first meeting at Marceline's concert, and that's when they first hit it off.

The dream in this episode's credits features Marceline's house; a home that neither The Star nor this Marshall Lee have ever known.

[sashkapi]

Do you have any headcanons about those chaotic siblings? Because Man your headcanons are so awesome

OH BOY OH BOYO

Thmanksks <3

1. Because of their frequent physical fights Brianna is considered pretty strong when compared to other girls her age.  Buttowski brothers are for equality They'll fight their sister all the same <3

2. Speaking of Brianna: in my au(I guess it's an au atp) she is the reason for the slight wardrobe change of her brothers. They didn't really complain especially because Bri kinda gets their preferred styles. 

3. All of them were forced to play piano at some point. It stuck the most with Brad.

4. Musically speaking, Brad is the most "musically gifted" out of the three. Not really actually. He just thought girls like music and started learning how to make music until it actually stuck and became his consistent hobby and he improved.  Bri still plays piano for talent shows but not for herself. You have to throw Kick off a cliff with an instrument if you want him to play it. (Almost like there's an episode based on this whoa)

5. If you force them to pick an instrument to play then their picks are: Brad - guitar (chicks like it and he likes playing it) Bri - piano (she can only play it and has no interest in learning any new instrument) Kick - keytar (played both piano and guitar before so he would be curious about this amalgamation)

6. They all have "bits" of each other talents, mostly because they live together  Brad and Kick actually know how to put on make up (Brad paints his nails sometimes and Kick sometimes masks his scar if needed) Brad and Brianna somewhat good at acrobatics  Kick and Brianna have some knowledge of music making

7. Kick isn't the only one who hides his natural hair color. Brianna does it too. Her natural hair color is brown but girl likes Teena Sometimes so much that she dyes her hair blonde.

8. While I draw Kick and Brad with eye bags because "Ha ha, funny scissor seven reference" they also both suffer from insomnia. Brad frequently loses track of time and sometimes goes to sleep at 4 am. Kick physically can't fall asleep at a reasonable time. (There is an actual reason why but I'm saving it for another day).

They also learned how to fight quietly because parents are asleep but THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO DECIDE WHO GETS THE LAST BIT OF ICE CREAM IN THE BOTTOM FREEZER AT 3:42 AM.

9. When it comes to each other love lives: Brianna will be all over her brothers to get all the information. It's prime gossip material. Especially with brothers like hers. Of course she would want to know what type of person would date a pathetic pig pen or adrenaline maniac. Kick cares a tid bit below surface level. He would just make sure that his siblings are in a "normal" relationship and intervene only if there's a potential "Kelly situation". Other than that, he doesn't really care. Brad pretends he doesn't care. He does. His sibling better not dare getting partners before he does. 

10. Silly one but if not "dillweed" Brad and Brianna sometimes call Kick "Brick".  Now all the siblings' names start with "Br" :)

[eastwindmlk]

For May' @jilychallenge I started two plunnies. One was Dillweed in a Fancy Metal Can and the other is this.

Partner: @charmsandtealeaves

Prompt: University Football/rugby/field hockey training is open to the public, on a very hot day star player A takes a shower from a water hose and B walks against a lamppost bc B might have been staring

Either read on AO3 or under the cut!

It was Wednesday evening in The Leaky Cauldron, which meant the lads had gathered in the back of the dingy establishment for their weekly team gathering. Well, James liked to call it their team gathering, it was mostly an excuse to grab a pint in the middle of the week for most of them. 

In front of them, on the large oval table in the back, they assumed was supposed to be their ‘event space’ that none of them could imagine would actually be used by anyone but them. After all, they’d celebrated most of their big moments around this table ever since uni. Lay the newest redition of their pub league bracket.

“I am sure we can manage,” Sirius commented, his finger gliding down the print-out with their pub league charter. Smirking as he tapped, their first match. “The Hog’s Head team always sucks. I’m pretty sure good ol’ Mundungus still pretends to be their striker.” 

Both the men rolled their eyes and a snicker went through the collection of young men gathered. Glasses clinked together. “Wait, Mundungus is their striker? The one that sells pot? Owns the pawnshop?” Frank asked curiously, squinting at the paper. 

“It almost feels bad to be playing against them. At least we don’t need to run too fast then,” Peter grinned, downing half of his pint in celebration. 

While James would not celebrate an easy win as readily as his friend, he could not help but feel a little bad for the middle-aged blokes having their first game against them. But he supposed that is why they had a point system instead of a knock-out. 

“We play Babberton Arms the week after, they’re usually decent, same goes for The White Wyvern.” It was then that a name caught his eye, there was a pub in the league that he wasn’t familiar with. They were new on the sheet, and what was more surprising was that their listed captain was one ‘Lily Evans’, a woman. 

Sirius noticed his hesitation, throwing his arm over his shoulder as he leaned in to look as well. “Anyone know The Three Broomsticks?” he asked, the team falling silent for a moment before Kingsley supplied:

“It’s a small gastropub down in the village. Nice place, little highbrow, though.” This caused a couple of people to pull out their phones to look it up. 

“They have a good menu.” 

“The lady who runs it is a total MILF.”

“I think I had a date there once. Nice place.” 

So far, it sounded pretty good. James reckoned he would probably recruit Sirius to go on a recon mission soon. Spend an evening there to scope out the competition. It would be fun. While he would never admit it aloud, he was not opposed to something a little finer than this. 

Peter, who started laughing, holding out his phone for everyone to get a glimpse of what was on the screen drew everyone’s attention. As far as James could tell, it was a team picture. All the players were posing in front of the metal goal that was part of their local park. 

He was not entirely sure what was too funny about it, but several people were chuckling and scoffing when the phone passed to them. “They’re all females?” Someone asked, clicking their tongue and earning a round of laughter. 

“We’ll be fine; I am sure a bunch of girls are not going to take our cup,” Remus commented, squeezing James’s shoulder. 

Sirius was quiet until someone made a remark about how they would at least have a good time looking at them run, pretending to jiggle a pair of tits, making the rest of the table burst into hysterics.

Easily and masterfully redirecting the jokes in an effort to cut short this sort of talk. By joking. “All I know is that we might want to put Pete in goal because he has never scored with a girl once in his life.” 

There was a short bout of silence around the table before the first person broke, Benjy snorting loudly and slapping Peter, who was not looking as amused as the others, on the back hard enough to hear it connect. 

“I just think we shouldn’t be too quick to judge them, it looks like they actually train,” James deducted, having found the profile himself and scrolling through the public posts. Finding out some interesting things about this other captain. 

Lily Evans and he had a few mutual friends, mostly people from the pub league and a bloke that went to the same gym as he did. 

They liked similar bands, she attended a Lord of the Rings marathon he’d been unable to get tickets to. 

By the looks of it, she and her friends dressed up. 

She volunteers for or supports multiple charities. Her work involves a white coat, which intrigued him.

Her red hair was natural, and her green eyes were breathtaking. 

He also found a post about wanting to start this women-only footy team. With dates and times when they were supposed to meet up.

James leaned in a little too close, to squint in the background of one of her throwback pictures where he could swear he knew the grease ball she was toting along when his finger slipped and he accidentally liked a picture of her on holiday. 

“Fuck, fuck, shit, fuck no,” he muttered to himself and frantically tapped the little thumbs up, only to be offered more options. By the time that he finally figured out how to unlike it, he’d left a heart, angry and laughing reaction, and there was no way in hell she did not know he was stalking her Facebook. 

Turns out, he did not need to be physically talking to someone to put his foot in his mouth. His ineptitude with the dinosaur that was Facebook did just fine at making him look like a right idiot. Though it must be some record, taking less than ten seconds.  

What made it worse was that, not a minute later, there was a buzz, the light on his phone blinking blue. A Facebook notification. Worse, a friend request from one Lily Evans.

After having ignored the notification for several hours James found himself staring at it, bending over his container of Szechuan noodles. Staring long and hard enough for Sirius to elbow him in the side. 

“If some spicy text got you this wrapped up, I need to see it,” he chuckled, trying to lean over to see what James was staring at. Not shrinking away from the glare he received, much to James’s disappointment, he was reminded that his best friend was not intimidated by him in the slightest. 

Turning the screen to show off the notification bar, rolling his eyes at Sirius snorted. “Isn’t that the captain from the Broomsticks team? What does she want from you?” 

“Maybe she wants to plead for mercy?” he suggested with a smirk, his thumb hovering over the decline button. Why would he accept it? It wasn’t like he knew her. His tongue pressed against the roof of his mouth for a moment before selecting ‘accept’. 

He might not know her personally, but he was not going to turn down the possibility of spying on their new rivals. As team captain, it was his responsibility to be prepared for anything. This certainly had nothing to do with the bikini picture he spotted earlier. 

---

By the time that his phone buzzed the following Saturday, while he was stretching before their first game, he had completely forgotten about this happening.

‘Good luck today! {insert football emoji and a smiley]

Squinting against the glare of the rising sun behind him, he could almost make out the picture of the redhead rival captain. There was a nervous roll of his stomach, eyes darting around the field. Wondering if maybe she was here to spy on them. But most of the crowd was distinctly more follically challenged and would not look nearly as good in a black one-piece as he had learned Lily did. 

He reacted to the message with his usual lion emoji before tossing the phone into his bag. Not wanting to get too distracted.

What did not help was checking it again at half-time, only to find a new message. 

‘You should pay more attention to that centre back.’ 

Making his eyes roam the stands in search of a hint of the spy, but if she was there, she was hiding in the crowd. 

‘We’ll be fine! He’s no Matt Clarke.’ 

The message was sent before he realized it, a reference to his favourite team that his friends would likely get. But would she? He supposed she could always google him if she wanted to know, he supposed. The ref blew his whistle and just before he tossed the phone back in the bag he saw the notification pop up. 

‘Think you’re good enough to go up against the Bald Eagle?’ 

She knew. And he considered that maybe he was already in love with this stranger. 

---

Just like that, his recognizance mission was compromised. Or rather, forgotten about. Until Peter asked casually while beating him mercilessly at a game of FIFA. “Did you hear the chick team won their first game seven nil? Maybe we should try and catch one of their trainings. See if this was just a stroke of luck.” 

He did not even have the decency to look at the screen when he tipped in another goal against him. 

James considered accusing him of cheating, but what was the point? The last time he did that, they were in college, and it had been embarrassing enough to still make him cringe today. “I did see a post about it on Lil’s timeline. I think they meet every Thursday.” 

The characters on screen celebrated the end of the game, and he immediately flicked to the main screen, not particularly feeling like seeing his pathetic stats.  

Peter grumbled something about the stats being there for the both of them before falling silent. Giving James a confused look. “Lil? You two are that friendly already?” 

He pulled up his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. “I’d like to think so.” 

“Are you two secretly chatting or have you just become intimately familiar with her beach holiday pics?” Peter was still laughing between the coughs when his elbow landed in his stomach, throwing his hands up in defence. “Right, right! Got it! It’s both.” 

James shot him a playful glare and pulled up his shoulder, eyes returning to the screen to select another formation for his team. Certain he could out-strategize his friend’s undeniably superior skill. 

“I’ll go check them out this week.” 

---

The sun was starting to set when James and Sirius slunk into the park, rugged up in oversized cardigans they borrowed from Remus and stylish baseball caps that were generously donated by Kingsley. Who did insist they were not to adjust or bend them, as they were, collector's items. Or rather, they would be one day, and he was not going to risk it. Which did lead to a rather loose fit on Sirius and a promise of a very bad hair day for James. 

The pair of them carried a picnic blanket and book to look less suspicious. If they pretended to hold a book club. The biggest risk they ran was to look like nerds. 

Which they were. Not that James or Sirius would openly admit to this to anyone but each other. They are rather skilled at hiding their general nerdiness under a layer of muscle and smooth talking. Even if the smooth-talking occasionally included references to their nerd media of choice. 

James had overthought the time they should be arriving. Not too early, or they would notice something was off. Not too late, because then they would not get enough time to observe. After a lot of mulling over, James decided that twenty minutes after practice started should be perfect. 

He knew that their team took, at least, ten to fifteen minutes to waffle and joke around, and ten minutes was a quick warm-up. Which meant that they would probably wander in just as they started playing. 

Once he spotted the group of women, or rather, a collection of bouncing ponytails, James learned he was wrong, and he could not be happier about it. They were still warming up. Better yet, they were stretching and it was utterly enchanting. 

No matter how hard he tried, which was not very hard, he could not take his eyes off their captain. The feisty redhead he’d been texting off and on since Saturday wore a bright smile and a pair of criminally tight bike shorts as she dropped into a low lunge. 

A sight that he was clearly not prepared for. If it had not been for Sirius grabbing his arm, he might have walked straight into a rubbing bin. Frankly, he’d have deserved it for shamelessly staring. But what was a mortal man like him going to do? Avert his eyes when given the chance to glimpse at a goddess?

But as Sirius spread the blanket on the field across from the training, where he could resume his research in peace. The book he was pretending to read was open in his lap, his phone in his hand. He could not help himself. 

‘Good luck! [insert football and lady running emoji]’ 

Only after hitting sent, James realized that he might have just blown their cover. If Lily had done the same thing he had done when he got her message, it would not take a genius to figure out who they were. If there was something he’d learned about her over the past week or two was that she was, in fact, an actual genius. 

If the gods were merciful, she would see the humour in this. She’d not said anything about his little bikini picture snafu, which was arguably a lot creepier, and he had profusely apologized for it after a few pints to settle the nerves. 

That had been what had really set off their chatting. Messaging back and forth to the point that he had his eyes glued to his screen even while watching footy.  Remus had made remarks about it, which meant it had to be painfully obvious.��

Not that the screen was any sort of distraction now, for obvious reasons. However, there was also a less obvious and far more concerning reason for his mobile to lie discarded on the blanket. 

They're good. 

No, that was an understatement. They were terrifyingly competent. It was intimidating and did things to him, he would rather not admit to. 

“Prongs, I think we’re fucked,” commented Sirius after they watched a tall blonde flip throw the ball with such ease their jaws were on the floor. 

James swallowed, nodding slowly at his friend’s assessment. “So fucked.” A firm shove jolted him out of his trance to notice that, across the field, several of their rivals had turned to look at them. Most of them took this moment to catch their breaths, hands set into their sides. James could see their breaths form little clouds in the cooling evening air. 

He reeled in his jaw and raised a hand in an awkward greeting. As if he was not already done for, Lily raised her hand in what he thought would be an awkward wave back. Only for her to flip him off before winking and returning to her practice. Her jumper had ridden up and exposed a swath of tattooed skin on her side. 

Hand to his chest, James fell back into Sirius’s lap as if shot. Maybe he had been, because he was unwell. They’d never even spoken face-to-face, and he’d already decided on a May wedding at the Riverside, four kids and a Newfoundlander named Elvendork. 

Sirius peered at him with, what seemed like, genuine concern as James raked his hands over his face. “You right, mate?” he asked, the cap sliding forward as he tipped his head down to look at James. 

“Yeah. Yes. Though I could do with the incessant urge to make a fool of myself for her,” he groaned, an offended tsking rushing past his teeth when his friend pushed the cap down over his eyes. “Oi! Can you blame me? Just look at her!” 

Sirius looked up while he wrangled the cap back into place, taking a long moment and then some before sighing in defeat. “I vote Irish wolfhound and late spring. I look good in lavender.” 

“I was thinking Newfoundland,” he answered, a smirk playing around his lips.

“Only if I can be the godfather,” Sirius bargained, the raise of his eyebrows caused the cap to slide forward once more making James snicker. He let himself be pushed up and to his feet. “Go talk to her! Don’t do anything stupid,” his friend encouraged. 

James shot him a playful glare, tossing his own cap towards him and fixing his hair. Well, as much as it could be fixed. His feet already carrying him down the slight slope to the field. “It’s not like I am going to run into a lamp post,” he joked, tossing a grin over his shoulder seconds before connecting with just that. 

In his defence, the ladies were having a water break and Lily had taken off her jumper, standing there in just her sports bra, sweat glistening in the setting sun. Her hair was frizzy from the humidity and surrounded her like a halo. 

If that had not been enough, Lily had laughed, her head tilted back in delight and James was pretty sure he would move heaven and earth to be the one to make her laugh like that. Which was the thought that spun dizzily through his mind while he reeled from the impact. 

James staggered back a few steps, rubbing the side of his face that had made the actual impact. His glasses askew while he sat back down on the grass, blinking the spots from his vision. 

When his eyes focussed again, Lily was right there, her forehead creased with concern. Before he could think about it, his mouth moved. “Marry me?” Which was probably the first time that James Potter ever was truly mortified by something he had said. Mouth opening, this time intentionally, to apologize. 

But before he could, she laughed, and the sound was pure and surprisingly not like she wanted to run away. “How about you take me for a drink first?” 

The vigorous shake of his head made him reel all over again, but James didn’t care. ”It’s a date.” 

(A little reference vid, because I can.)

[coastalcowplant]

Most of the group gathers by the court. Rebecca, Troy, Autumn, and Zachary all eagerly group on the court in teams, girls against guys.

Rebecca, competitive and looking for a way to up the stakes, offers a bet to the group, “LOSERS are on biffy duty tomorrow. You boys are going D-O-W-N!”

Not looking forward to even the possibility of having to clean the bathrooms, Troy laughs to hide his sudden nervousness. “What? Is that supposed to scare us? I’ve been playing volleyball since I could walk!”

Wanting to start the game, Autumn calls out to him, “Hey dillweed, heads up!”

Rebecca serves the ball and the four play back and forth for several rounds. The score ends up tied at the game point. Each team more nervous than before they started, the counselors are all wary the next point would lead one of the stinking bathhouses. The ball comes for Rebecca, and she sets the ball up for Autumn, jumping high enough she falls to her knees as she lands.

“Autumn, heads up!!” She cries out.

Autumn is quick on her feet, “I got it! I got it!!” She spikes the ball to the boys.

Desperately, both Zachary and Troy dive for the ball—but they miss.

“YES! Looks like the boys are cleaning the bathhouses!”

previous / next / beginning

[padawansuggest]

Two post types that I will never reblog, joke or not, because what the everloving fuck is wrong with you guys:

1: talking about fighting Medusa. Like. Bruh. She just wanted to live and was literally punished for being raped. Nah I’m not gonna reblog or like a single post about fighting her, stealing from her, even just overall mocking her, whatever. Just fucking be kind and know the source material before you decide to talk shit about her. She was forced to be punished, so her deity did the only thing she could for her and made it so no one could ever touch her against her will again.

2: Eve and the apple. She was never told by god that she wasn’t allowed to eat the apples (which btw was more than likely pomegranates because of context clues) but Adam was. Adam was a dillweed and decided he wanted to know why they weren’t allowed the forbidden fruit, so he literally tricked her into eating one (womp womp turns out the first sin was putting your trust in a man lmao) and when nothing bad happened to her, he decided it was a lie and ate it too, which got them kicked out of the garden of Eden because he broke the rules. She was innocent and god saw that she was never given that rule, or told of it. She trusted him.

I’m sorry but a lot of these stories that people tote about as lessons or a great monster to defeat… aren’t often what you think. Unsurprisingly, people lie about that shit.

[howlingday]

Mercury: (Tackles Nora)

Nora: (Coughing)

Mercury: Ugh! Wh-What the fuck are you doing?

Nora: I'm giving you my germs! Try to survive without an immunity, alien!

Mercury: I'm not an alien, dillweed! I'm a henchman! And you're not a Rose-Xiao Long, either. Who the hell are you?

Nora: I'm Ruby's friend!

Mercury: I find that hard to believe.

Nora: Well, would you believe I'm Raven Branwen's long-lost daughter?

Mercury: If that were true, I don't think I would've caught you so easily.

Nora: I would've gotten away, but I had a lighter up my ass!

Mercury: See, NOW I believe you're Ruby's friend.

[eternal-moss]

Even with just two episodes Fionna and Cake managed to destroy me, and I’m definitely going to be heavily posting because I love this show so much already. Spoilers and rambling under the cut!! If you want to watch it but don’t have access to HBO, dm me~

They really hammered in the depressing urban theme in episode one, and of course Fionna is incredibly relatable to the struggle of the average person. Hearing swearing in Adventure Time without their usual goofy filler-words like ‘dillweed’ or something feels SO weird, my brain could barely wrap around it.

An implication is that the world Fionna and Cake exist in is literally just a construct of Simon’s mind, which is retroactively kind of predictable, but at the same time slightly insane. This is shown pretty early in episode one, when I saw that fountain, my immediate thought was ‘Betty?!?’, and yeah, those sorts of things kept happening, until the moment Cake literally comes out of Simon’s head.

Speaking of Simon

Jesus Christ man.. he’s depressed as hell. (In my opinion, Finn is too, but they’re handling it in different ways). I was not expecting the content of the show to be much darker, considering ‘Distant Lands’ was about the same rating as regular Adventure time but damn.. seeing Simon hyperventilating hit me a little too hard, especially when he started pulling at his hair.

Be prepared for me to talk about Simon nonstop from here on out, he’s been a blorbo of mine for a long time now and this just relit that flame. Seeing him lying in mud with actually-rendered-red-blood felt so weird and harrowing. I was so happy when he decided to call Marcy and Peebs, and sad when they didn’t pick up on his obviously not too great mental state, but if they had there wouldn’t really be much of a show premise, so I’m fine with that (although sad on his behalf. Mans is suffering)

Anyway. I am a sucker for domestic Bubbline, and their silly antics at the tattoo shop did make me happy even if Simon was getting ignored. I am preparing for some heavy angst when Marcy inevitably realises what’s happening.

One theme that I felt heavily is that the show has sort of ‘grown up’. Even with Obsidian and Together again being set in the close and far off future, they didn’t feel like this. At the end of stakes, Marceline tells Peebs that she finally felt she had ‘grown up’- and that Bubblegum grew up with her (ironically they were both children at the same time, with the mothergum formed in the apocalypse).

This time period is Bubbline in their reckless young adulthood (as much as immortals can be), when the two were coded as older teenagers in the main show. They’re having fun, and trying new things. The other end of the young adult scale is Marshal Lee, Gumball (I didn’t catch his name) and Fionna of course, who are living in a bit of a grittier reality. Being surrounded by these characters who the show expects you to have grown up with is a really weird experience, but I kind of love it.

I really love the ‘modern au’ (I couldn’t think of a better phrasing, sorry) trio, Gumball (I know that’s not his name, my apd couldn’t catch it and there wasn’t subtitles) is so sweet (no pun intended) and a faithful genderbend to Bubblegum while having distinct differences.

Marshall Lee, that madman that he is, is still breaking hearts years later. I tell you, hearing his voice again made me swoon a little. I love the choice they made to make him visually black and it makes so much sense considering Marcy’s mother and also being voice acted by Donald Glover. I wonder what Hunson Abadeer is like in the Fionaverse (a better name although a bit confusing), being mentioned directly by both Lee and Fionna as his mother.

Anyway these are my primary thoughts splattered on a page, I’ll be rebloging like crazy from now on

[maguro13-2]

Mash : Hey, Finn. How is that treatment of yours coming along?

Finn : It's working perfectly. Nothing matters.

Mash : Hope you don't mind doing something with your magic, would you?

Finn : It's cool. I got this. (breathes inhale and then exhales)

Mash : Finn...You got minutes to plan to do something special.

Mash : Otherwise, it'll be your last.

*Drum rolls*

Finn : Alright. Here goes nothing...

(Finn uses his wand to do magic on his pants)

Finn : Dungus stoutus.

*Drum roll finish*

*BUZZER*

Finn : Uhh...Beefus gurthus.

*Sonic SFX : Fault*

Lemon : What are you even trying to do.

Mash : Teaching a new spell for himself.

Finn : Alright. No more foiling around.

Lance : Come on do something!

Finn : Uhh...Polius maximus?

(wind gusting, dillweed passes by)

Mash : (eats a cream puff)

Finn : Sorry, guys. I don't know what to do with this thing.

Lemon : Is it broken?

Finn : Don't know, don't when. Turns out Harry Potter saying Polius maximus is a funny spell that'll make your pants--

(his beanstalk shoots out of his groin center and into the air)

Finn : WOAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

(everyone exclaiming)

Finn : Oh my Magical Gods!

Finn : I just turned my other wand into a giant beanstalk!

Finn : Mash! Forgive me about ruining your textbooks! How do I cut it off!? How do I cut it off!?

Lemon : Why didn't you tell me his mating parts would turn into a beanstalk!? This is not the way to make their PP's grow big!

Lance : Dude! You turned your penis into a beanstalk!

Lemon : How do you reverse the spell that quickly!? How do you turn his Junk back to normal!?

Mash : Easy, I got somebody who can help me.

Lemon : Oh, look. A text message from Hermione.

Finn : What's it saying?

Lemon : It says...(look at the text to read)

Lemon : "Stalkus Minimus".

Finn : Stalkus Minimus. Stalkus Minimus.

Finn : I said "Stalkus minimus"!

(the beanstalk recedes into Finn's groin, revealed that it's gone)

Finn : Finally turned it back to normal! You know, this magic stuff is kinda bummed out. Good thing that I have my privates back.

Mash : Uhh, right after that, you might wanna examine yourself.

Finn : Oh. Then what kind of spell do I reverse?

(he pulls downs his pants)

Finn : What the--!?

Lemon : Why do you have a woman's mating part?

*Spring Boing*

Lemon : Huh?

(looks down on herself)

Finn : I think we've might've switched ourselves.

Lemon : Oh...My...God...!

(screams in horror as her mouth engulfs)

Lemon (wakes up from dream) YAAAAAHHH!!!

(breathes deeply)

Lemon : That is the scariest thing I ever heard in my entire life.

(looking at an adult magazine)

Lemon : Oh well, I won't be needing this anymore.

(throws it away, causing the sounds of crashing and cat screeching)

Aira from outside : Thanks! I was wondering if I was looking for that!

Lemon : Oh well, back to reading in my studies!

(pulls out a big textbook)

Lemon : Now where was I...? Oh yes...

(opens textbook which contains a BL manga she hid it)

Lemon : (seductively) There we go...

*Slow Funky music playing*

Lemon : (seductively in awe) Oh, mama. That's some great hot stuff.

(Mash takes Boys love manga)

Lemon : Huh? Hey!

Mash : Studies now, good manga later, bad manga trash.

(throws out manga)

*KNOCK*

Aira from outside : Thanks again! I also needed that too!

Lemon : Well, You can't solve anymore problems to deal with that.

[mons-asylum]

Moving In (3)

Jesus that took me way too long to figure out. I decided to skip the dinner scene cuz man I had no idea what to do there.

I'll try to get a little more on-schedule but i still managed it a little over a week after the last one so, eh. I'm not doing that bad lmao

dillweed's ko-fi

[aerospectrum]

@wexarethewalkingxdead asked: 1: How are you today? 8: How would you describe yourself to a stranger? 13: When did you start roleplaying? 14: What are your favorite subjects/genres to roleplay? 15: What fandoms are you in? 17: How many muses do you currently have? 22: What do you think are your roleplaying strengths and weaknesses? 23: Is roleplaying more of a job or a hobby to you? 27: Name something that’s a favorite of yours? 28: Any advice for other roleplayers? NOSY MEEEEMES :: OPEN

i feel like I ramble so badly so i put all the answers under a readmore to save your dash sanities lol.

1] I am surviiivin', but i'm chill. I have crazy insomnia so I haven't been able to sleep much and I am so behind on asks and drafts and everything else... aaaah maybe I'm stressed lol. but chill stressed lol.

8] hmm, I guess maybe to a stranger i'd describe me as timid or shy or quiet. Odd looking in a way that isn't unique? Mismatched and in need of a haircut as well

13] hmm, I think officially in 09 or maybe 2010?

14] I love angst/comfort I also really love enemies to lovers those are so fulfilling especially when they don't realize they've fallen for one another just yet and then something happens to one of them and it's just "oh ... i'm in love aren't i?

15] I'm in so many fandoms at this point, oh gosh. Supernatural, the Boys, Marvel, hmmm, Walking Dead, Lucifer, , Stardew, Owl House, Destiel lmao, Yellowstone, Jurassic Park, honestly if it snags my interest i just jump in headfirst.

17] oh dang, I'm not sure, I think 12-15 as of now, but some never get out there but I still love them very much!

22] i think a strength of mine is I'm very willing to learn new fandoms and the lore to place my muses into them in a way that fits. I also think I'm fairly accepting of all muses be them canon or originals- I always try to put in the effort to make sure everyone feels seen and heard! I think my biggest weakness is that I love to start so many threads all at once then I get overwhelmed and kinda become a hermit. I forget to focus on just a few at a time and then I get panicky lol. But it's fine, i love having a million different threads with everyone because it's fun and cute!

23] i like to keep rp as a hobby, though it could definitely be a cool job!

27] a favorite thing for me is making meals for others. I went through a lot of food scarcity when I was younger and i think that's something that lowkey traumatized me, so to be able to make a meal for someone i love- or even someone i don't know makes me feel like I'm undoing that particular trauma in myself by providing for others in a way that's easy for me to show love???

28] my advice would be, try really hard to not take yourself too seriously, enjoy the goofy moods and remember that this is supposed to be fun! it's easier said than done but you'll lose the fun when you start comparing yourself to others. It's quality not quantity and sometimes people are gonna be better than you and that is completely ok- it doesn't negate your worth or abilities as a writer or a person. even though it's really scary and some of us are shy or struggle with anxiety- try and message people you enjoy writing with and create meaningful healthy ooc relationships, you're not annoying one another. we're all searching for community and belonging so if you reach out to someone and they turn out to be a huge dillweed, don't sweat it, there's so many other super kind people here to talk and chill with- try not to let the mean ol' hoes ruin your time here, lol.

[eastwindmlk]

For this month's @jilychallenge I wrote a little successor to last month's Dillweed in a Fancy Metal Can.

Partner: @charmsandtealeaves

Prompt: University Football/rugby/field hockey training is open to the public, on a very hot day star player A takes a shower from a water hose and B walks against a lamppost bc B might have been staring Either read on AO3 or under the cut!

At least this one had trees, Lily thought as she once more hobbled down a sandy path surrounded by people in costumes ranging from breathtaking to mind-boggling. Though, admittedly, there was an odd concentration of steampunk at this particular faire. Which she did not mind in the least.

Lily was drawn to all the shiny brass, gears, and pants. There really was nothing like dragging a full-length gown through the damp grass and dusty paths of a castle’s garden to really make you appreciate the comfort that comes with wearing trousers.

Which was nothing against the red dress Mary had let her borrow this time around. Even if she did feel a little suspicious about the colour, of the myriad of colours, the sneaky blonde had selected the only red. 

It did not stop her from making note of the styles she liked. For possible future reference. While she would not admit it to Mary, who would become more insufferable than she had been when she mentioned wanting to come with her to this event., But she was making mental notes for a potential future endeavour. 

In one of the larger clearings, there was a section cordoned off with a thick rope. A sort of playpen where a bunch of kids, some in costume, were running around with foam swords. All screams and giggles as they chased each other. 

But that was not what caught her attention. Casually leaning on a large wooden sword stood a Ren Faire snack. His linen shirt hung open to reveal a healthy amount of dark chest hair and an impressively muscled chest. 

She could not help but let her thoughts wander when his hand ran through his wild, ebony locks, showing off a hint of some very, very toned forearms a better person would have ignored. But who was she kidding? The way this man casually leaned against his sword did things to her. 

Mary caught her attention by grabbing Lily’s wrist and pulling her towards a steampunk contraption. It was not until she got closer that she realised it was a grill. They sold burgers and sausages that smelled pretty damn good. 

It also meant they could sit down in this clearing and enjoy the show. Watch and listen to how this tall, dark, and glasses-mediaeval man-candy would teach the little whirlwinds some basic sword fighting. That sounded like the perfect show to go with their pit stop. 

And so, Lily and Mary found themselves a large tree to lean against that offered a perfect view of the clearing. 

“Oh, you picked a brilliant spot, Lils.” Her friend complimented and settled in. “Never say no to a little dinner with a view.” She could feel her elbow trying to poke her through her corset, and she nudged the smirking blonde back with her shoulder. 

Taking a bite from her burger, Lily grinned. Enjoying the way this man’s commanding voice got all the kids in line so easily. The baritone that floated over was not entirely unpleasant. The smile that she could spot was positively dazzling. 

“He kind of looks like your knight, doesn’t he?” Mary suddenly commented while they watched the swordsman make a brave attempt at battling a hoard of kids. Laughing and pretending to get hurt as they smacked his shins and hips with their weapons. 

Lily squinted, trying to remember how ‘Sir James’ had looked up close. But frankly, she couldn’t quite remember his face. Besides, with the armour on, he could have just worn a lot of padding. “No, he didn’t wear glasses,” she decided after a moment of scrutiny.

Then she paused to glare at her friend, swatting her on the arm. “And don’t call him my knight!” Lily huffed and rolled her eyes. He was here, somewhere. She knew that much. His troupe had been on the pamphlet, and they’d contemplated going to another show. 

Not that she saw the point. They saw one, and she was pretty certain they were basically the same thing. Besides, and this was something she was not going to admit aloud if he did not recognise her, she might actually be a little hurt. 

It was silly, but for a moment, there had been a spark. And immature as it was, Lily hoped that he did not have that every show. That she was just a little special.

“Do you want to get a closer look? Maybe you’ll know him better by his big, manly hands.” Mary’s voice dropped as she mocked her with a gleeful grin on her face. 

Taking a large bite from her burger, Lily used it as an excuse not to answer immediately. To let the rosy dusting of her cheeks come down. “That is unfair to bring up, and you know it. I had a few cups of wine at that point,” she protested as if she had not wholeheartedly meant them. 

“Come off it, Lils. We both know he is ridiculously hot and so very into you. I still can’t believe you didn’t ask him for a drink.” Again, it wasn’t like she had not considered it, but she was sure he got offers like that all the time. “Tonight, when we go to the show, you are going to stroll up to your prince charming and get that drink. Or, I swear, I am going to slide into his DMs and give him your number.” 

“You wouldn’t!” She gasped, even though she knew that she absolutely would. “This is just some ploy for you to get into these things for free, isn’t it?” Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously and let out a loud ‘Ha’ when Mary pulled up her shoulders, looking guilty. 

“It would be a nice perk. These things aren’t cheap, you know. Plus, it would get you laid. Who knows, maybe he is particularly talented with those large, masculine hands of his.” With every word out of Mary’s mouth, Lily’s look turned a little more disappointed and then exasperated. In the end, she flicked open her fan to hide her face behind it. 

“There are kids present,” she hissed, though it did not seem to bother Mary in the slightest. “I bet he is into every halfway decent-looking girl.” Taking another bite from her burger with a little more vigour than strictly necessary. “The man has a fan club, Mary. I doubt I crossed his mind after turning down his advances.” 

Mary tutted, rolling her eyes at her friend. “Or, you have been on his mind because of that. Ever considered that?” 

Yes. “No, because that is bonkers,” she lied in return. Of course, the thought had crossed her mind; on more occasions, she would like to admit. She mostly blamed sleep deprivation and slow days at her residency. There were too many opportunities to have caffeine-induced delusions about a bloke who practically flirted with girls for a living.

“Suit yourself,” Mary quipped with a shrug and set her eyes back on the field of shrieking children brandishing practice swords at each other. They ate their snacks in peace until the blonde decided to pose a queer question. “Say, Lils?”

“Huh?” 

“Think we’re getting old?” 

The redhead’s eyebrows drew together, and she turned her head slowly in the direction of her friend. “What on earth makes you say that?” The offence dripping from her voice, and a lifted eyebrow punctuated her ridiculous question. 

She nodded in the direction of the feral hoard, making Lily giggle while they brutally attempted to bring down the instructor. Her head tilted curiously, hoping her friend would elaborate so she did not need to admit that there was something incredibly hot about the way he humoured those kids. 

“Well, you know how I feel about offspring. But damn!” Mary laughed, sighing longingly. They watched, spellbound, while he bent down just enough for one of the smaller kids to mount his back. Little arms wrapped around his muscular neck in a clumsy chokehold. 

Lily hummed in understanding, unable to contain her giggle as the girl on his back decided to use the man as a mount. A very impressive, feral battle cry came from the little princess as she raised her sword and the Ren Faire snack charged. 

Her friend was right; she could almost feel her temperature climbing, the baby fever simmering far closer to the surface than it had before. The little voice in the back of her mind sounded remarkably like her mother singing about a biological clock. 

“It is almost rude, really,” Lily decided with a determined nod. Making it Mary’s turn to look at her in utter confusion. “How are we supposed to shamelessly stare when he’s being this adorable?” 

The sheer volume of Mary’s laugh made her jump, drawing the attention of a few people around her. A collection of pirates and Batman are pausing their conversation to look at the pair with a hint of judgment. 

The pair of them glared back with equal fervour until they could not contain their giggles any longer. That was when they decided to move along. There were still plenty of things to do, and it would be good to get her mind on a luscious piece of topped flatbread. 

Still, she could not help herself. The children were rushing back to their parents, and the humdrum was bound to catch anyone’s attention, really. It had nothing to do with the fact that she felt drawn to the gorgeous, bespectacled man.

There he was, standing next to one of the treasured water points, the water trickling down his chin, his throat bobbing. Her eyes were drinking him in as thirstily as he was. She was unable to keep her eyes off of him. 

Then he dealt a killing blow by leaning forward and dipping his head under the hose. The water made his white linen shirt cling to his beautiful tanned skin, showing off the muscles they’d mused about. 

Entranced by the sculpted shoulders and the rippling trapezoids. “I need to see something,” Lily mumbled to her friend, letting herself be lured by the siren song of his anatomy. 

If she could only get...

SMACK 

Something hit her right in her ribs, knocking the wind out of her. Her eyes were tearing away from the delectable display and from the culprit. One of the unvarnished plywood poles that made up the makeshift fence posts stood right in her path. 

Lily stared at it in horror, the realisation dawning on her, while Mary giggled uncontrollably. She was never going to live this down, but hopefully no one but her friend noticed. 

The crowd was still trickling by; no one had stopped to laugh at her, and she would count that as a win. She could deal with Mary’s teasing; that was something that could be bought off with a pint. The idea of some stranger, though? No, thanks. 

“Ouch,” she complained, rubbing at the sore spot as she fell into Mary’s arms. Stifling a laugh at her own, she soon burst out in rumbustious rolls. A sound died in her throat when her eyes landed on a pair of heavy leather boots. 

Her emerald eyes followed them up, only to stall when she noticed a wet white shirt clinging to disgustingly defined abs. She swallowed, her face heating up once more. Curse her pale complexion, she supposed. 

“You alright?” The sound of his voice was low, insouciant, and familiar. Making her eyes travel up curiously. She hoped that, maybe, his face would give her a clue as to why his voice stirred more than just something mischievous.

However, before Lily could place it, there was a spark of recognition in his eyes and a smirk curling from his lips. “You’re back! I was starting to think I might lose the bet.” 

Both the women now frowned and blinked at him curiously. Mary was poised to speak when the Ren Faire Snack laughed, his strong, calloused fingers carding through his damp locks. “It’s the glasses, isn’t it?” he asked while his hand lingered on the back of his neck. Granting them a nice peak at his bulging deltoids and defined triceps.

The thought crossed Lily’s mind that, with him around, studying for her anatomy exam might have been a lot more fun. Unfortunately, she was not quite as intimately familiar with these specific muscles yet. 

“We met a few weeks ago, my lady,” he winked, and it struck her like lightning. “Uhm, James. Sir James. I guess.” 

At this revelation, Mary did an amazing re-enactment of the first time he’d approached her on his white mare. She squeezed her arm so tight that it cut off circulation for a moment. “See, I told you he’d remember you,” her friend hissed in her ear. 

Lily took a moment to deploy one of her deadliest side-eyes at Mary, who released her Kraken-esque hold on her. 

“Sir James? I suppose I remember,” she replied coyly, her eyelashes fluttering flirtatiously in his direction. Her hand deliberately lingered on her neck as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear while her eyes slowly drank him in from crown to sole. Making a show of looking. 

She bit her lip while her eyes travelled back up, meeting his eyes with a giggle. “I do think I said I’d have a drink with you last time; did I not?”

He laughed, the sound sitting somewhere in the hollow of her chest, glowing warm and bright. “I do believe you said I’d have to win you another crown. So, I suggest you come this afternoon. Be my lucky charm again.” 

Mary pushed her forward, her hands landing against his chest right before he caught her at the elbow. The hint rather clear. 

“Maybe we can celebrate prematurely,” she proposed, her fingers curling against his wet shirt. The sensation of sparking an idea was a little risque and definitely crazy. But the best ideas always were. 

“After you’ve taken off that shirt.”