#what I still don’t know is whether I deserve one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hiiraya · 21 hours ago

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loml

pairing: natasha romanoff x reader

words: ~3.3k

warnings: angst, happy ending (?), literally just self-indulgent writing, messy writing, listen to loml by taylor swift to get in the sad mood

a/n: merry christmas everyone! the last thing I posted was january of 2022 and it's literally about to be 2025 - I've been in a reminiscing mood lately and this was something I've had in the drafts for months, I figured I should just release it to get it out of my system. your girl has been missing someone bad bro and the urge to tag them in this is insane ♡ anyways, hope they see this lmao

“Have a safe flight and text me when you land, yeah?”

“I will, I will. Get home safe and update me as well, okay?”

You release your cousin from your hold, giving their shoulder a quick squeeze as they pull away. You do a last minute check with them to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything important - something you were always prone to do when travelling by yourself. The memory of you almost missing your international flight because you had rushed home and back to the airport within record speed, all because you had forgotten your passport of all things.

“I’ll fly out to see you next time, so you can show me around.” You smile.

“Are you guys serious? I told you to leave early so that this exact thing wouldn’t happen!”

Your eyebrows immediately furrow at the familiar voice, catching one last glance of your cousin as they enter the security screening area, waving to them while you mouth one last ‘text me when you land!’ as they leave your sight, before turning around to find the source of the voice.

No way it’s her, you thought. What’s she doing here?

As you get closer to the arrivals board, your questions are answered. Standing there in all her glory, is the one woman you never thought you’d lay your eyes on again.

“Natasha?”

You see the puzzled look on her face as she registers your voice before she even lays her eyes on you. Watching as the confusion turns to irritation - whether it was towards you or whoever was on the other side of the phone, you couldn’t tell (most likely both) - you watch as a deep sigh she releases as she glances at the board in front of her once again.

“-that’s another 10 hours before you guys even land.” She sighs, exasperation lacing her voice.

“Hey, listen if you need help-”

She holds a finger up to silence you, eyes meeting yours in a piercing glance. “I don’t need help, and especially not from you Y/N L/N.”

At her words, you look down, the sight of your shoes a welcome one as you take a second to recover. Honestly, you thought to yourself, I deserved that.

“Yes, it’s Y/N- no I did not! I swear I didn’t know that they were here.” You hear her mutter from beside you. Deciding to save the both of you from further embarrassment, you turn your attention elsewhere, wondering what your cousin would say once you eventually tell them about who you ran into immediately after they left.

You lift your head back up when you hear Natasha mumble "you guys pick the day before Christmas of all days to be late for your flight” followed by a quick goodbye before hanging up the phone, watching her scope the airport for her next step.

You could just leave and pretend this ever happened.

“Come on, Nat, I promise I just want to help.” You find yourself saying instead. “I can take you to your hotel when they get here.”

Well, there's no going back from that now.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?”

You really needed to stop opening your mouth.

“Okay, you know what, I deserve that.” You pause. “Listen, I’m not going to force you to come with me, but the offer is still there if you want it. You’ll get a free ride, plus you can use my apartment to rest and freshen up while you wait.”

-x-

"I can't believe you talked me into this."

You spare a glance to Natasha, who was currently sitting in your passenger seat.

"You're the one that followed me to the car?"

She rolls her eyes at your confused tone, choosing to ignore what you said and instead checking her phone - most likely waiting for an update from whoever she was speaking to on the phone before. "I can't believe they missed their flight."

"Who's they?"

"Yelena, Maria, Wanda," she answers. "Oh, and Yelena's friend Kate too. I don't think you've met her."

You bit the inside of your cheek, because you already know that you didn't get to meet anyone named Kate while you were still together. You honestly didn't get to meet many of Natasha's friends whenever visited her - it was something you always fought over. It felt like she was ashamed of you, always wanting to keep you hidden, a secret she never planned on sharing with the world.

You refrain from asking any follow up questions - if Natasha wanted you to know more she would tell you.

Instead, you ask: "Did they manage to catch the next flight out?"

She nods. "I'm honestly surprised they did, considering how expensive it probably would've been. But knowing Maria, she probably would've pulled some strings to make it work."

Natasha finally looks up from her phone as you come to a stop, looking at the building you had just parked in front of.

"Where are we?"

"My apartment, I figured we could drop off your bags and you can freshen up before I show you around." You open the door for Natasha before moving to grab her bags from the trunk.

You lead her inside, setting her bags down in the living room before turning around to face Natasha - holding your arms out as you gesture to your living space. It's the first time she's ever stepped foot into this place, having only seen it through a phone screen since you were the one who would fly out to visit her when you were still together.

"I'll grab you some towels so you can freshen up, but make yourself at home." You say, gesturing for her to follow you down a hallway. "The bathroom is the first door to your left, there should be a spare toothbrush under the sink- wait did I give to my cousin? Well, we can grab you one while we're out but everything you need should be here."

You know you're rambling but you don't stop in fear of saying something stupid (which knowing you, is highly likely).

"If you want to take a nap, the guest room is just a little further down the hall on the right - I just changed the sheets so everything should be fresh."

It's not the way you wanted to be showing Natasha around your home for the first time, but you'll take what you can get. It'd be so easy to waltz back to the way things were, before everything fell apart but you didn't have the right to that anymore. You weren't a part of her life anymore.

You didn't know if she already had someone new in her life, maybe you were overstepping in so many ways and that it was best to just keep your distance. After all, you did promise that you just wanted to help. You were here to keep her company until the girls arrived and take her to the hotel when they finally did get here.

You know it's for the better to just move on, that after today she'll be gone and it'll be like she never made a reappearance in your life. But how could you when you know deep down that you still haven't fully moved on and that she'll always hold your heart in her hands?

Natasha's voice cuts off your reverie, bringing you back to the present as you hand her the towels.

"Give me an hour to shower and rest my feet for a bit, I wanna go out and explore while we wait."

-x-

"Do you see that one over there? That's a hammerhead shark! They're one of the most powerful sharks in the ocean."

Natasha hears the little girl gasp, watching their eyes going wide with wonder. She can't help the small laugh that escapes when she sees the young girl lean closer towards the glass before loudly whispering, "is it going to eat us?"

You laugh softly, and Natasha can't help but think that she's missed hearing the sound of your laugh, something she thought she wouldn’t hear again. It comforts her slightly to know that it hasn't changed after all these years, and that she can still easily recognise the sound as being yours only.

"It won't eat us! Sharks don't eat humans," she hears you explain. "They're more interested in fish and seals, than they are humans. But they are really strong swimmers, and they can smell things from miles away - even in water!"

She'd been watching you answer questions about sharks for the past 5 minutes, after a curious little girl ran up to while you were looking at the shark tank and asked if you knew what type of shark was swimming in front of the glass.

"Do sharks talk to each other?"

"They don't talk like we do, but they do communicate by using their bodies and how they move through the water. Some sharks even make sounds by rubbing their teeth together, kind of like a secret language that only they can hear."

It doesn't take long for the girl's mother to find the three of you, sighing in relief as she sees her daughter, looking up at you apologetically.

"Sorry, she's probably been asking you a million questions."

You give the woman a friendly smile and shake your head. "It was nothing, I loved answering all of her questions." You tell her. "It looks like you might have a future marine biologist on your hands."

"Let's leave the lovely ladies to enjoy the rest of their date, bubba."

"Oh- it's not-"

"We're not-"

The mother and daughter are already walking off before either of you could finish your sentences, leaving you and Natasha standing in front of the shark exhibit with red cheeks and thundering heartbeats.

Natasha catches your eyes as you glance at her in a shy glance, and she knows it's too late. The warmth that passes through her as you smile, the same warm and knowing smile that you used to give her when everything was still okay was almost enough to bring her down to her knees.

You interrupt before her thoughts can spiral any further, clearing your throat before gesturing with your head the direction of the next exhibit.

"Shall we keep going?"

-x-

Natasha sits across from you at a small café by the beach. You mention to her that it was your secret place, one that you go to when you wanted time to slow down and just have a moment to catch your breath. After the little incident at the aquarium, you guys decided it was best to just sit and people watch for the time being to avoid any more awkward interactions.

The warmth emanating from the cup of coffee did little to chase away the little chills that ran down her spine every time Natasha caught you gaze lingering on her for longer than you must've realised.

She told you about the plans that she and the girls had made for their vacation while you filled her in on your own life, telling her about your cousin that had just recently come to visit you just before Christmas.

"I'm glad you chose to come with me." You admit after a pause in conversation, voice soft. She turns to look at you, your eyes meeting hers with such an intensity it made her breath get caught in her throat. "I missed getting to talk to you like this."

She can tell that you spoke without thinking, the widening of your eyes giving you away. You look away, muttering a quiet "sorry" before lifting your drink to your lips in an attempt to hide the flush of your cheeks.

She was supposed to be over you. She'd told herself time and time again that she had moved on, but seeing you again, and being here with you, she couldn't deny that she was still in love with you. Having you so close yet so unreachable leaves an ache in her chest.

Throughout the time you two had been sat at the café, she watched you with fondness at the way your eyes lit up while you spoke with excitement in your voice about the things you and your cousin had gotten up to in the week they were with you; Natasha realises that she missed you too - and the comfort that you brought her just by simply being near.

"Nat? You okay?" The worry in your voice only deepens the ache in her heart.

"Yeah, no, sorry - I'm okay." She answers with a shaky nod, breathing deeply. She allows herself to feel her emotions, knowing that it would only do harm if she tried to deny herself this moment with you.

"I missed you too."

The sadness settles deep within her chest, the way you looked so shocked at her words - and she wonders if you were expecting her dismiss your words.

Her phone pings loudly from where it was placed on the table, the text tone sounding off four times in a row as her screen lights up between the two of you.

Natasha!! We've landed :D - Wanda

Sestra, we're on our way to the hotel now, tell lover girl to drop you off now - Yelena

Hi Nat, sorry again - we'll be there in 30 minutes! - Kate

I'll check us in if we make it to the hotel first, Nat, just let us know when you're there - Maria

You both watch as each text pops up on her phone, knowing that your time together was coming to an end.

Natasha watches as you ponder for a moment - wondering if you were going to add on to your words from before now that she's admitted that she missed you too. For a second it does seem like you're about to say something, but instead you just shake your head slightly to yourself, clearing your throat and as you look away, flagging down a waiter to pay for the meal you shared.

"We should probably get going if we want to get to the hotel at the same time as them."

She allows herself a moment to watch as you gather everything, absentmindedly listening to you talk about leaving now so we don't hit traffic - though I guess it's fair to make them wait, considering they made you wait like 10 hours, that's a practically a whole day wasted where you guys could've been sightseeing!

Natasha knows your putting on a brave front - she can see it in your eyes as you gather your wallet and keys, but she begrudgingly gets up after you pay for the bill, walking back with you to your car.

Already dreading the moment she has to say goodbye.

-x-

"Well, I guess this is where I leave you."

Pulling up at the front of the hotel, you catch a glance of Yelena, Kate and Wanda through the window. Even though you couldn't see her, you knew Maria wouldn't be too far away. Probably checking everyone in, you assumed as you parked your car near the entrance.

You do your best to avoid looking at Natasha, taking your time in getting out and grabbing her bags from the trunk, knowing this could very well be the last time you see her again. The thought alone breaks your heart all over again - you can recall all the times you've begged the universe to let your paths cross once more. Now that your wish has been granted and you're preparing to say goodbye to her once again, you deeply feel the loss of her from your life before it's even happened.

She's already watching you as you close the trunk. You hope that she can't see the tears that have been slowly building up since you started the drive to the hotel. You refuse to let yourself hope that the look in her eyes could mean anything order than gratitude.

"Thank you, Y/N, for today." She tells you softly.

"It's was nothing, Nat," you say with a smile, before softly adding, "you're welcome and I hope you guys have a Merry Christmas."

Getting lost in the silence that falls between you; you miss the way she's looking at you as you stare down at your shoes, waiting for her to grab her things and go so you can drive back to your apartment and sulk for the rest of the week. You wonder if she can see the way your hands are shaking as you wait for the inevitable goodbye.

"Y/N?"

You hum in response, not trusting your voice to stay steady if you decided to use actual words.

"I had a really good time today."

You tilt your head in curiosity. You've had a hard time all day trying to gauge if Natasha was having enjoying herself or not. There's no doubt in your mind that she would've said something if she wasn't.

"And it got me thinking," she continues. "I don't know- maybe I'm reading into everything wrong, and you can absolutely say no. You'll probably say no, because this is crazy, but I had to say something before I lose my mind-"

"Nat." You interrupt. As endearing as it was to hear her ramble on, to see her getting more and more flustered as she kept talking, you knew she'd work herself up before she every got to what she actually wanted to say.

"Breathe, love."

You nod encouragingly after she takes a deep breath, giving her time to gather her thoughts.

"Maybe it doesn't have to be so wrong, you know?" She starts. "To try again."

You try to hide the shock that you feel, but can't stop the way your eyes widen ever so slightly at her words. Never in a million years did you expect her to even say yes to spending the day with you, let alone suggest giving your relationship another go.

Does she mean just a friendship or an actual relationship?

Is she just saying that because of today?

What if she realises she doesn't actually mean that later on?

What if this was just a joke and she was just waiting for you to say yes so she can go "aha! I was just kidding as if I'd be serious."?

What if-

"We're different people now, don't you think?"

Confused but curious to know what else you had to say, she nods. "I'd say we are."

"We're older than we were before." You add. "We know a lot more about ourselves now, I'm not the scared kid I used to be."

You're scared of making the same mistakes you did all those years ago. But you also know that you're more than willing to learn from those mistakes; to stay and communicate to make things work instead of running away at the first sign of trouble. Because if there's anything you want more in the world, it's to make this work with her.

But just as much as you are scared, you can't help but be excited. Excited and honoured to learn more about this new Natasha, and fall in love with her all over again. You can't wait to find out what stayed the same, and what changed about her. Whatever she was willing to share with you, you'd gladly take.

"I could love you properly this time."

She gasps softly, and your heart pounds at the prospect of already scaring her away.

The thought of her friends seeing this happening through the window of the hotel briefly crosses your mind - you wonder if they'd approve of you making a return to Natasha's life or if they'll make you work for it after the way things ended between you two.

But she smiles, stepping into your personal space to wrap her arms around your neck and all thoughts leave your mind. The only thing you can focus on is Natasha pulling you closer so her words are only for your ears and your ears only to hear.

"I could love you properly this time too."

-----

@sadonism

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha x reader #black widow imagine #avengers x readers #marvel imagine #myfics.txt #i am going through it once again folks #this is probably gonna get shadow banned bc i haven't posted in so long but oh well

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amourquinn · 7 hours ago

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( short fic ) 𝐈 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔

pairing : boyfriend!quinn x fem!reader wc. 1.1k

genre : fluff warnings : small panic attack

summary : as fireworks ignite a wave of fear in you, quinn’s steady presence and comforting embrace remind you that with him, you’re safe

「 author’s note 」 this was a request from an anonymous, i hope you like it <3

the crisp evening air of vancouver carried a sense of calm, the kind that only came after a busy day when the city began to wind down, the streets lit with a soft golden glow. you and quinn had decided to visit a local event downtown, a small gathering of boutiques, street vendors, and artisan stalls. it was the kind of event that made you feel connected to the city—a reminder that beauty could be found in the little things.

the event was held along a quieter street lined with charming boutiques. you had wandered for hours, exploring the various stalls that offered everything from handmade jewelry to delicious-smelling soaps and warm drinks. you and quinn had enjoyed the evening, taking your time to browse, laugh, and chat with the vendors.

at one booth, you had spotted a beautifully knitted scarf, hanging from a wooden rack. it was a deep burgundy color, soft and inviting, with intricate patterns woven through it. your fingers had brushed against the wool, marveling at how warm it looked, and for a moment, you imagined wrapping it around your neck on a chilly winter evening.

“that’s nice, huh?” quinn said, standing beside you. his voice was soft, almost as if he were testing the waters, waiting for your response.

you nodded, smiling at the scarf. “yeah, it’s really pretty. i could use a new one for the winter.”

quinn raised an eyebrow, his gaze drifting to the price tag for a moment before he looked back at you. “you deserve something nice,” he said casually, though there was a hint of something more in his voice—something thoughtful, almost protective.

you laughed, shaking your head. “it’s a little too fancy for me,” you replied, still tracing the pattern on the scarf. “i don’t need something so expensive.”

but quinn didn’t seem to hear you. he was already digging through his wallet, his expression focused and determined. “i think it’s exactly what you need. just let me get it for you.”

before you could protest, he had already paid the vendor, who wrapped the scarf in tissue paper with a smile.

“quinn, you really didn’t have to,” you said, a warm flush creeping up your neck as he handed you the neatly wrapped package.

he shrugged, his grin never fading. “i know, but i wanted to. you deserve it.”

you opened the package slowly, revealing the soft, burgundy scarf. it felt even more luxurious in your hands, and you couldn’t help but run your fingers over the delicate knit. “it’s perfect,” you whispered, glancing up at him. his eyes were soft, watching you with a gentle look that made your heart skip a beat.

“put it on,” he encouraged, his voice warm and playful.

you smiled and draped the scarf around your neck. it felt like a hug—soft, cozy, and comforting against your skin. “it’s really warm,” you said, adjusting it so it fit just right.

quinn reached out, his hands brushing against the ends of the scarf. “it looks great on you,” he said, his eyes scanning your face with a tenderness that made you feel both seen and cared for.

you chuckled softly, your heart swelling with affection. “i guess i’ll have to wear it all the time now, huh?”

“absolutely,” he replied with a smile. “i’ll be disappointed if i don’t see it every time i see you.”

the playful tone in his voice made you laugh, but there was something else behind it—a sincerity that made your chest tighten. quinn’s gestures, whether big or small, always made you feel valued. you could see it in the way he looked at you, how he listened to you, and how he made even the simplest moments feel special.

⋆˙⟡

as the night continued, you and quinn wandered through the boutiques, talking about anything and everything. the scarf kept you warm, a small but constant reminder of his thoughtfulness. when you passed a vendor selling hot chocolate, quinn insisted on buying you both a cup, the warmth of the drink contrasting against the chilly air.

you were standing near the square, admiring the lights strung between the trees, when you heard a low rumble in the distance. the sound made your heart skip a beat, a familiar unease creeping into your chest.

“what’s that?” quinn asked, looking up toward the sky.

before you could answer, the first firework exploded overhead, bursting into a cascade of shimmering gold. the crowd around you gasped in delight, but all you could feel was the sharp pang of fear in your chest.

fireworks. you hated fireworks. the sudden, loud noises, the unexpected flashes of light—they had always unsettled you, stirring up a fear you couldn’t quite explain.

quinn noticed immediately. “hey, are you okay?” he asked, stepping closer to you.

you nodded quickly, though your breath was uneven, your hands clenched into fists. “i just… i don’t like fireworks,” you admitted. “they scare me.”

without hesitation, quinn stepped in front of you, shielding you from the sight of the fireworks. his hands gently rested on your shoulders as he spoke softly, his voice steady and reassuring. “it’s okay. i’ve got you. look at me.”

you tried to focus on him, his familiar face grounding you amidst the chaos. another firework burst overhead, the loud crack echoing through the square, and you flinched. quinn immediately pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you.

“i’m right here,” he murmured, his voice close to your ear. “you’re safe. just focus on me.”

you buried your face in his chest, his warmth and the steady rhythm of his breathing helping to calm the storm inside you. he rubbed small circles on your back, his touch soothing, his presence a constant reminder that you weren’t alone.

“it’s just noise,” he whispered. “it can’t hurt you. i won’t let anything hurt you.”

gradually, the tension in your body began to ease. the fireworks continued, but they felt distant now, their sharpness dulled by the comfort of quinn’s embrace. he stayed with you until the last firework faded, holding you like you were the most important thing in the world.

when the square quieted, you finally looked up at him. “thank you,” you said softly, your voice thick with emotion.

quinn smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “you don’t have to thank me. i’ll always be here for you.”

and as he led you away from the square, his hand firmly holding yours, it was a reminder of his care, his unwavering presence, and the quiet strength he always gave you when you needed it most.

#[ 📁 ] short fic #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes fanfiction #quinn hughes fic #quinn hughes fluff #nhl hockey #vancouver canucks

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pitchsidestories · 4 hours ago

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under the mistletoe II Ellie Roebuck x Reader

romantic masterlist | platonic masterlist | word count: 2032

summary: With a little help of Ellie's and Reader's Barcelona teammates a near kiss on Ellie's return to the pitch turns into a real kiss at the team's Christmas party.

author's note: Dear readers, we hope you had a wonderful Christmas, whether you celebrated it or not. Enjoy reading ! 🫶��🫶🏻

19 months had passed since Ellie had suffered a stroke, there were days the English goalkeeper believed she wasn’t able to make her return in goal, but her will was stronger and tonight marked her emotional return.

Ever since the blonde joined Barcelona in the summer, you witnessed her achievements as well as her struggle first hand. Both of you were in recovery together for different reasons, yet it made you bond over the similar situation.

As the season changed from summer to autumn, you went from being regular teammates to friends. Now that winter had arrived in Spain, you wondered whether the two of you could be more for each other.

The football game against Real Betis turned out to be a solid win for Barca with Esme, Caroline and Ona scoring.

Much to your own dissatisfaction, Pere substituted you at the end of the game. He told you he didn’t want to risk anything after your recent comeback but was happy with your performance.

The words of your coach calmed you down a bit while you sat down to watch the rest of the game including the only goal from a Sevillian player. The team celebrated it like their own little win, immediately your eyes went to look for Ellie’s reaction who was clearly frustrated by it.

Nonetheless, it was a win that meant so much more because the goalkeeper had returned to the beautiful game she loved so much.

After the game officially ended you immediately ran on the pitch to jump into Ellie’s open arms. “Congratulations, babe. We're all so proud of you,’ you whispered in her ear, ignoring the fact that your lips were almost touching her in a perfect kiss.

The English woman beamed at you: “Thanks.” Her face literally lit up and competed with the beauty which were the glowing and colourful windows inside the Sagrada Família. For a moment both of you forgot you were still surrounded by people until Kika reminded you.

“Move over, we want to hug Ellie too!”, the Portuguese forward chuckled amused.

Slightly embarrassed, you release yourself from her embrace, feeling your cheeks turn fiery red at her comment.

Many team-mates followed the striker and hugged the goalkeeper, who responded with a warm smile and said thank you, girls.

” You’re welcome, we've been waiting for this moment, and it hasn't disappointed us”’ replied Kika in a friendly tone

Curious, Keira asked her friend, whom she had known for so long at this point: “How does it feel to be back?”

“Unbelievable. I'm glad I can share this with you in the team too”, Ellie replied gratefully, hugging her sideways, knowing that the older midfielder wasn't so keen on physical affection.

Nevertheless, Keira was incredibly touched by the significance of the moment they were able to experience together: “You deserve to be here on the pitch again after all you’ve been through.”

“Stop it, Keira, or I'll cry”, the younger English woman warned the older one, tears of joy already forming in her blue eyes.

“Oh, sorry, don’t cry, please.”, the midfielder begged.

To save this situation, you suggested: “What about a group hug and no more tears for tonight?”

“Promise.”, Ellie said as the team hugged each other tightly to celebrate her return once more.

“Good.”, you nodded satisfied.

The wholesome moment was only interrupted by Mapis voice: “Girls? Don’t forget about the Christmas team dinner!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be there.”, you promised as you all finally started to let go of Ellie again.

The blonde goalkeeper smiled: “Yes, I will convince Keira to join us.”

Her lionesses teammate cringed at that: “I hate Christmas parties.”

“But you love me, so…”, Ellie blinked at her innocently.

Keira knew she couldn’t disagree so she just groaned: “Ugh.”

“Count us all in.”, you laughed before you all started heading towards the dressing room to change. One by one, they all started to leave the stadium until only Mapi and Ingrid were left.

“Ingrid, you noticed that earlier too, right?”, Mapi asked impatiently, once the door fell shut behind Irene.

The Norwegian nodded: “Of course, amor.”

A smile spread on the Spanish defenders face: “I have a plan.”

“You do?”

“Oh yes.”

“Tell me.”

Mapi just shook her head with a conspiratorial smile: “You will see. Let’s go buy some mistletoes for the Christmas dinner.”

“Mistletoes? I think I know what you have planned now.”

“It’s the season of love after all.”, Mapi winked.

“And we saw that they almost kissed on the pitch.”, Ingrid added.

“Exactly. Now let’s go, we have to prepare everything.”

When you arrived at Mapis and Ingrids apartment, the Christmas party had already started. Most of your teammates were already there, standing in the middle of the room with drinks in hand. It looked like Mapi and Ingrid had to move some of their furniture to accommodate the number of football players they hosted.

You immediately spotted Ellie standing to the side, talking to Kika.

“Hi.”, you greeted your teammates.

The goalkeeper quickly pulled you into a hug: “Hey. You look pretty.”

“Thank you. I love your outfit.”, you replied politely but truthfully.

“Thank you.”, Ellie smiled back. “Who hung up all those mistletoes?”

You followed Ellie's gaze to the ceiling, where sprigs of mistletoe hung at regular intervals.

“Mapi? Ingrid?”, you suggested with a shrug but you also couldn’t hide how impressed you were with their decorations. They really went all out for the Christmas dinner.

As if she had been waiting for it, Mapi appeared on your side with a smirk: “Oh, don’t you two know what tradition wants from you?”

“We do but we’re not standing under one.“, Ellie replied laughing.

You nodded in agreement: “Exactly.“

Mapi raised one eyebrow at both of you: “At least you know, in case you find yourselves under one.“

Keira stood with her back to the wall, studying the parasitic plants above her with wide eyes: “I’ll make sure I won’t move for the entire evening to avoid standing underneath them then!”

“And how are you going to get your food?”, Ellie asked, her warm laughter filling the air.

The English midfielder replied with an embarrassed smile: “Well.”

“I can bring you some.”, the goalkeeper offered then gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

Thank you,’ Keira muttered, incredibly grateful for their friendship, which has lasted since their time together at Manchester City.

Still smiling the blonde answered: “You’re welcome.”

“When’s the dinner ready? I’m getting hungry?”, Kika changed the topic swiftly.

“It should be done by now.”, Mapi and her girlfriend quickly left their seats and went into the kitchen to fetch the festive meal that everyone was waiting for. Inside there was a buffet there every guest could get what the heart desired.

Just outside the door, the Spaniard stopped and looked up at the ceiling with a dreamy expression on her face. With a mischievous grin on her lips the defender added: “Oh, look, Ingrid. A mistletoe right above us.”

Ingrid’s green eyes lit up with amusement: “You’re such a dork, Maria.”, the Norwegian mumbled into the older woman’s ear before kissing her despite the teasing comment.

“You love it.”, Mapi observed confidently.

Her younger girlfriend admitted: “Maybe a little bit.”

“Want to get some food too?”, Ellie turned her face towards you beaming.

You nervously push a loose strand of hair behind your ear before answering: “I do, but the mistletoe.”

“We can avoid them.”, the blonde offered conspiratorially with a wink.

“How boring!”, Mapi threw in.

Ignoring her teammate's words, Ellie stood up and took your hand as you followed her: “Come on.”

“You can go first and then I’ll follow you. Oh, uhm sorry.”, you apologized with heated cheeks while you stumbled into the goalkeeper who caught you without a problem, but now the mistletoe was hanging right above you, waiting for the next act to unfold.

You both didn't see that Keira was the one who was inconspicuously pushing you. Later in the evening the midfielder would explain her reasoning behind it to bring you figural speaking closer together.

In the present moment Keira waved it off nonchalantly: “Don’t worry about it.”

“‘Well, you know the tradition, I guess we...”, began Ellie, her cheeks colouring slightly pink as she felt all her teammates’ eyes on the two of you.

A gentle reminder came from your lips: “I mean no one’s forcing us to.”

“I’m aware of that, but what if I want to do it.” Much to your own surprise, she made this quiet confession, which rekindled the sparks between them.

“Maybe, I want it too.”, you agreed flustered.

A shy smile spread on Ellies face: “Close your eyes.”

Without hesitation you did as you were told, waiting patiently for what would happen next. You almost flinched when Ellies lips lowered down on yours with the softest touch. You didn’t dare open your eyes, in case she might stop.

Only when Ellie finally pulled back after what felt like minutes, you finally blinked and found yourself too close to her face. She studied you in anticipation but you had no words except for: “Oh wow.”

“That was…”, Ellie started, clearly unsure how to put her own feelings into words.

“Absolutely delicious. Can I have another taste?”, you asked with an innocent smile.

The goalkeeper nodded happily: “Yes, maybe in the kitchen without all those eyes staring at us?”

You couldn't help but notice the slight blush on her cheeks.

“Okay.”, you agreed and followed her into the kitchen, ignoring all the other mistletoes on your way.

“Ellie, don’t forget my plate!”, Keira called after the two of you.

The goalkeeper shrugged and continued her way: “Sorry, I have to go.”

Keira pouted from the other side of the room: “Rude.”

“Young love, what are you going to do about it, right?”, Mapi grinned as she joined the midfielder leaning against the wall.

Ingrid appeared on Keiras other side, handing her a drink: “Thanks for your help, Keira. They really needed that push in the right direction.”

“You’re welcome.”

Kika held a plate out to her: “Here, Keira.You can have a bit of my food so you don’t have to starve because of those two lovebirds.”

“Thanks, Kika.”, Keira smiled, gratefully accepting the offered food.

“No worries.“

While your teammates stood outside gossiping, you and Ellie were alone in the kitchen. Every surface was covered with food or bottles but you didn’t mind. It was just you and her and no one else.

“So when did you first-…”, you started but stopped immediately when you realized that Ellie said the same thing at the same time.

“No, you go first.”, she insisted.

You cleared your throat before replying: “I’m not sure when it was. But I like your vibe and how positive you are even with everything going on.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“I just have so much… love and respect for you.”

“And I loved that you didn’t pity me. You just welcomed me with open arms. And I like that you don’t hate it when I take photos of everything and that you’re able to just enjoy the moment as it is.”, Ellie answered, surprisingly passionately.

“You’re so sweet, Ellie.”

You watched her face suddenly light up with a smug smile: “And you know what they say about me. I’m a keeper.”

The joke came so unexpected that you started to giggle: “Then I’d like to keep you in my life.”

It was Mapi who softly knocked against the kitchen doorframe to receive both of your attention. “Hey, just letting you two amantes know that we’ll start playing games soon.”, she informed you with a wide grin on her lips.

Ellie quickly promised: “We’ll be there soon.”

“Perfect.”, the Spaniard nodded in satisfaction.

Innocently, you placed a finger under the taller woman’s chin so that she had to look into your eyes when you said: “You know, Ellie, I think there’s another mistletoe right above us.”

“Looks like I’ve to kiss you again.”, the goalkeeper replied happily.

Her lips felt incredibly soft against yours as they met in a tender kiss. Warming both of your hearts on a cold December evening.

Christmas/Winter Oneshots

if you enjoyed this story reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated !

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the-tmnt-ficfinder · 1 day ago

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Christmas Kindness submission

To Qoldenskies,

I’ll straight up say it. You write my favourite Donnie angst out there. There’s the obvious masterpiece that is the Canary Continuity, and the horrifically underrated Coming Undone. Both are such visceral, heartbreaking experiences that I have enjoyed from start to finish. And Caged Lungs broke me down. Miner’s Eulogy was what shattered me, though, and Clipped Wings? What a RIDE. With each chapter you post, I can’t believe we’re getting closer to the END. Not the END. I don’t want it to end, but it’s gotta. We do need that promised happy ending.

Honestly, your interpretations of the characters? Especially Donnie? They’re so well thought-out and clever. There’s so many important layers to them and what drives them, and it all comes together SO WELL. You’ve definitely done your homework and put a lot of care into your stories. It shows.

What I also have to praise is how beautifully crafted the writing ITSELF is. The metaphors and parallels are so clever. You use them masterfully to paint a better picture of the characters and their struggles. It’s like you have two narratives running at once, sometimes, the obvious one, and the supporting one that explains so much. I don’t always catch that, since I’m not that smart, but I know it’s there. Commenters help me out by bringing attention to it.

Emotions? Spot on. I feel so much, and the experiences are painted so viscerally that it’s hard not to feel along with the characters.

And I wanted to also bring up one more thing. I really like how you ‘distort’ and break up the dialogue when the characters are in distress. The stammering, the added words, (for examples, “I’m— I’m too muh-ch,” “something’s wro-wrohng, Raph and Leo are ouh-out—“ (cu) “I’ll d-do– I’ll do any-hhh-thing,” “I’ll– I’ll clean it up, I promi- hhh -se!” (cl)) really helps me HEAR how they’re talking. I’ve never seen stuttering or dragged-out words articulated so ‘as-said’— meaning, that is exactly the noises they’d be making if you heard them (particularly the shuddering of breath that accompanies then ‘hhh’, if that makes sense). This is probably my favourite little detail exclusive to your work. I absolutely love it. It’s such a small thing but it definitely enhances the reading experience.

Because I don’t want to leave out your ‘smaller’ fics, I wanted to say that I have read Circomvating Death, too. It definitely is a nice little refresher to all the angst (but I LOVE angst), and I’ve enjoyed the humorously chaotic adventures of Donnie and Casey Jr. Whenever you get back around to writing for that, I’ll look forward to seeing where they go next!

And Enhancements? Short but sweet pain. The idea of NO existing painkillers working on them makes a lot of of sense. The super-soldier piece is such a fun little concept to play around with, whether for badass purposes or whump. I also love seeing the concept referenced in your other stories. It works great as a little headcanon establishment. It doesn’t need to be a massive masterpiece to still be great.

I know you’re also planning Where We Went Wrong as a B-team sep AU, and I’m definitely looking forward to that and your bad things happen bingo prompts! I know all that’s in the right hands, and

You have a lot of talent, and you deserve all the positive feedback, fan art, and fanfics you’ve gotten so far.

And I did read the post where you said that your family is too poor to celebrate Christmas, but I hope you can cherish the time you all have together regardless (and beat that Christmas Curse that’s plagued you for the past couple years). <3 Have a great one! Wishing you all the best.

@qoldenskies

Christmas Kindness Event Post

#Christmas kindness #Christmas event #Christmas #tmnt #tmnt fanfiction

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fanfictwins · 24 hours ago

Text

SAGAU Liyue - Holiday Special 2024

Summary: “A Christmas surprise party with a Liyuean twist — the perfect gift planned for you by the two young girls who wanted you to feel more at home. How could you NOT have fun with it?”

Word Count: ~10.4k

The pleasant fragrance of mixed herbs, similar to the bunches of purple and white ones held in your arms, hit your nose as you stepped through the doorway of Bubu Pharmacy, the figures of two small girls by your side. With the variety of medicinal herbs stored within its walls, it was no surprise that it smelled great whenever you visited, no matter whether morning, noon, or night.

“Your Grace…? Why, I certainly hope you’re not here because you require my aid?”

Your gaze rose from the herbs to see Baizhu with a smile on his face, subtle surprise etched into his expression. Changsheng matched his gaze, raising her head up to better look at you.

“Oh, I’m fine, doc. I was just helping Qiqi with her wildcrafting.” You lifted your arms up just so, showing off everything you gathered with a proud smile, as the aforementioned zombie raised her own arms up to place the batch of herbs she collected on the counter. “I had to climb along so many cliffs and mountain peaks, but I got ‘em! I didn’t let a single one I saw go unplucked!”

Baizhu seemed to get more surprised, but it quickly melted into a calmer smile. “You needn’t exert yourself like that, Your Grace, but I thank you for your assistance. It’s much appreciated.”

You handed the herbs to Herbalist Gui, who visibly jolted when your hand brushed against his during the exchange. He excused himself so quickly after that he almost tripped and dropped the bundles everywhere, but managed to get away with everything held tightly in his arms and a flustered look on his face. It wasn’t anything that you weren’t already fully used to at this point.

“Aw, there’s no need to be so formal with me. In fact, if you ever need some rare or hard-to-get ingredient, you can always ask me. It’s no trouble at all! I like helping you and Qiqu out, honest.”

“Hmm… then I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Your Grace, you worked really hard today!” Yaoyao piped up, drawing your attention to her and her bright smile. “I think you deserve a break! We can handle anything else that comes up.”

You lightly exhaled. “Huh? I know I said I did a lot, but I’m actually not that tired-”

“I insist! In fact, I’m sure my master would love to sit down and have tea with you. It’s been some time since you’ve personally visited her, right? She still talks a lot about the last time!”

“I… guess I can go see her, then?” You were still smiling, if a bit confused now, but you waved off the four as you began to leave. “I’ll see you all around. Don’t get into too much trouble, ‘kay?”

The moment you were out of sight, down the pharmacy’s stairs, Yaoyao turned to her friend.

“You got everything written down, right?”

“...mmm, yeah.”

The zombie slowly took out her notebook, flipping it open to the newest page, which was filled with scribbles. Her handwriting made it hard to make out some words, but a closer look made most of them legible enough to read; some of the words were bigger than others, emphasizing their importance, but the biggest one was centered almost in the middle — “Christmas”.

Yaoyao smiled brightly, gently taking the notebook out of Qiqi’s hands and holding it up as she looked at it. “Perfect! Now we can make sure to tell everyone about everything we learned!”

“And what’s this about?” Baizhu peered down at the girls from his spot behind the counter. “Scheming behind Their Grace’s back after getting Them to leave? That’s not very nice.”

Changsheng scoffed. “It’s downright rude!”

“It’s for a good reason! Well… sort of.” Yaoyao turned the notebook around to show the doctor its pages. “While we were gathering herbs, Their Grace started telling us about Their home, and They mentioned this one celebration… “Criss-miss”? That’s how They pronounced it. And, They seemed a bit sad when talking, so I’ve decided that we should throw Them a “Christmas party”!”

Qiqi raised her arms in the air, mimicking Yaoyao. “Party…!”

“Oooh…” There was a hint of interest in Baizhu’s smile. “That sounds quite nice.”

“Yeah, and everyone can help make it a big surprise!” Yaoyao closed the notebook and gave it back to Qiqi. “So forgive me, Dr. Baizhu, but I have to borrow Qiqi for a bit. We’ve a lot to plan!”

“Very well, but stay safe, you two!”

The doctor called out as the two girls set out, hand in hand as they took the first step towards their goal — throwing the Divine Creator a surprise “Christmas party” with the other vessels.

- - - - -

There was always one thing on the top of your to-do list whenever you visited Liyue, and that was making a trip to Wanmin Restaurant. Even when the other restaurants tried to catch your attention, you usually passed them by; they weren’t bad at all, by any means, but there was just something about Wanmin that dragged you back in for a meal whenever you were in the harbor.

And Chef Mao never complained about the big boost of business he got after one of your visits.

“Chef Mao!”

You smiled at the man as you approached, the delicious scents wafting from the restaurant’s kitchen already invading your nostrils from half a street away. You were able to identify some of the restaurant’s dishes by scent alone, but there were also new ones you weren’t familiar with.

“Your Grace, it’s an honor!” Chef Mao smiled at you from his spot behind the counter. “Are you having your usual today? I always stock up on extra ingredients whenever I hear you’re around.”

You let out a long hum. “Maybe… but I’m also feeling kind of adventurous today…”

The sight of a familiar panda-esque bear poking his head out around the corner of the doorway to the kitchen cut off your train of thought, your smile reappearing as you turned towards him.

“Oh, Guoba! Hello!”

The bear flinched at being spotted, hurrying back into the kitchen and leaving you staring at the spot he had just been in. You couldn’t ignore the clanging of metal that soon followed from inside the kitchen, before hearing a familiar voice exclaim, “They’re here?! Right now?!”, which in itself was followed by the restaurant’s head chef stumbling out of the kitchen, Guoba on her heels.

Xiangling looked a bit unkempt, dusting herself off before looking at you with a smile.

“Your Grace, it’s an honor!”

Like father, like daughter.

“Xiangling, are you…” You gave her a once-over, taking note of the various splatters of colorful spices and sauces decorating her from head-to-toe, like an abstract art-piece. “...okay?”

Her smile became sheepish as she followed your gaze, looking down at herself briefly before looking back up at you. “Aha… yeah, I was just… surprised you’re here. I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Oh… sorry for the surprise. I just wanted to get some lunch.”

Xiangling nodded. “Then I’ll get right on that! The usual?”

“Actually, something smells really good in the kitchen. What’re you cooking?”

“Uh, it’s… um… I’m kind of just working something new out, I…”

Xiangling averted her eyes, her gaze looking at everything but you before it ended up on Guoba, asking him for help. The bear lightly flinched, his own eyes widening as he babbled incoherently.

“Oh, Your Grace.”

The cool tone of Shenhe’s voice cut through the air, cutting off Guoba and almost forcing your attention to shift itself over to her. Her hands held a large wooden crate that leaned against her body, the contents no doubt too heavy for any mere mortal to lift despite the ease at which the woman in front of you was handling it, and you watched as she calmly looked at Xiangling.

“Here. I gathered everything you said you might need for your secret dishes.”

That made you look at Xiangling again. “Oooh, secret dishes?”

The head chef looked ready to pass out, before she quickly shook her head and calmed down.

“W-Well, you see…” Xiangling fidgeted before she sighed, only to perk up moments later as an idea entered her head. “Actually, I could use your help. Yaoyao recently told me that you told her about this thing called “Christmas”...? And she mentioned a few dishes that are supposed to be made for it, but I’m struggling to figure them out since all I’ve got are the names of the dishes.”

“You’re… trying to make Christmas dishes?”

Xiangling nodded. “Yep! Because, you know… it’s food from another world! Your world! I’d really like to learn how to make dishes from your home, Your Grace! I’m sure they’re super tasty!”

That made perfect sense to you.

“You don’t need to be nervous asking for help, Xiangling. I’d be glad to give you a hand.”

“Thank you, Your Grace!”

You ended up sitting down at one of the nearby tables — even though it wasn’t necessarily a quiet hour for business, one table quickly became cleared up once you needed it — after your order was made with Xiangling right by your side, the chef eagerly listening as you told her all about some of the more common Christmas dishes that came to your mind between bites of your lunch. You tried your best to explain the dishes as much as you could, sparing no detail.

The variety was wide, from baked ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, candied sweet potatoes… even if you never personally had some of the dishes you listed out, you still named them and described what you had heard they were like.

“Oh, and there’s usually a roasted turkey.”

Xiangling blinked, an interested glimmer in her eyes. “Turkey?”

“Yeah, it’s… a kind of bird. I don’t think Teyvat has anything quite like them, though… oh!” You raised your utensils up, pointing at Xiangling. “There’s this one dish called a “Turducken” that some people have, where you stuff a chicken into a duck, then stuff that duck into a turkey.”

“So it’s a… three-bird roast?”

“Yep!”

“That sounds interesting… and I could do the chicken and duck part, but without a turkey…”

“I think some people use a goose instead of a turkey.” You lightly tapped your chin with your utensils. “Even in my world, turkeys are only available and easy to obtain in certain areas.”

Xiangling thought for a moment, before a smile returned to her face and she nodded.

“Alright, I think I can do that… no, I definitely can do that! I’ll make the best Christmas dishes ever! I can’t wait to try them myself! Thank you so much for all of your help, Your Grace!”

“It’s no problem.” You laid your utensils down on your empty dish, wiping your mouth off with a napkin before you stood up. “I just hope you allow me to taste-test them when you’re done.”

Xiangling let out a slight laugh, looking away nervously. “Y-Yeah, of course you’ll be able to!”

You gave Shenhe a word of thanks as she collected your empty lunch dishes, and gave Chef Mao and Xiangling a hearty wave goodbye as you left, only making it past the neighboring shop before a horde of people rushed by you. You glanced over your shoulder to see them all queuing up at the restaurant, and sighed from knowing that you were the sole reason for the lunch rush.

Xiangling loudly exhaled the moment you were out of sight, her whole body relaxing at the same time. Guoba copied her movements, before smiling up at the young girl and babbling briefly.

“Shenhe!” Xiangling’s cheeks puffed out a bit as she looked up at the tall woman. “Please be more careful! I’m lucky I was able to get some advice out of it and that Their Grace didn’t catch onto the plan, but it would’ve been super bad if They found out! It would’ve ruined the surprise!”

Shehne blinked. “...ah, my apologies, but I did state that your new dishes are a secret, didn’t I?”

“You’re not supposed to say that it’s a secret out loud!”

“Ahem, Xiangling! Shenhe! I could use a little help here!”

The two ladies — and Guoba — looked over to see Chef Mao overwhelmed at the restaurant’s counter. They could hear most of the customers asking for “what the Divine Creator ordered”.

“Sorry, dad! We’ll be right on it!”

Xiangling and Guoba hurried back into the kitchen, the clanging of metal starting up again as they began to prep food to serve, and Shenhe returned to the dining area to clean the tables so that some of the customers would have a place to sit when dining on the day’s “popular dish”.

Chef Mao sighed. “...and this is why I make sure to order extra ingredients.”

- - - - -

Even with many pairs of eyes staring at you for almost the entire time you were passing by, walking around Liyue Harbor was usually a peaceful and pleasant experience; the stares you received from the locals were mostly of awe, and they never tried to get into your actual space, instead always keeping a respectful distance that allowed your walk to go without a hindrance.

But those were just the behaviors of the normal folk.

Your vessels were of a completely different sort.

“Your Grace…!”

You had been strolling near the docks, admiring the ships out at sea, only to look in front of you to see Xinyan — who had called out to you — and Yun Jin coming to a stop before you. The two had to take a minute to catch their breath, Xinyan even having to place her hands on her knees.

“Xinyan? Yun Jin?” You looked between the two performers with a concerned frown on your lips, your eyebrows furrowed. “Are you two alright? Why were you running? Is something wrong…?”

The rocker stood up straight with a smile on her face, shaking her hands out as she shook her head. “It’s nothing bad, Your Grace. Whew, I just finished up a real blazin’ performance, so-”

“Halt!”

Your head swiveled in the direction of the shout, seeing the two girls follow suit from the corner of your eye, just to see a couple of Millelith soldiers with gazes solely focused on Xinyan. They came to a stop next to you and the performers, not having to catch their breath like the latter.

The rocker frowned. “Shoot.”

The two soldiers stared Xinyan down, one tapping his polearm on the ground. “Miss Xinyan, you have been charged with multiple fire code violations. You can’t just keep running away from us.”

“The only thing that got burned was the stage I built myself…”

“That’s not an excuse. Someone still could have gotten hurt.”

“Oh, okay… that makes sense.” You smiled at Xinyan. “You were running from the law, huh?”

The sound of your voice, your tone a bit amused, made the soldiers finally take notice of your presence, and the way they were taken aback to realize that it was you made your smile grow just a little bit more. Their eyes went wide, and they seemed to lose any and all strength in their stances — if only for a moment before they corrected themselves, their faces now a light pink.

“Ack- the Divine Creator?”

The soldiers fumbled with their weapons before bowing to you.

“Forgive us for not acknowledging you, Your Grace. It was rude of us!”

“It’s not a big deal, guys. You two are just doing your jobs, focusing on handling crime-”

Your attention briefly shifted itself back to Xinyan, who was clearly trying to tell you something through just her gaze and body posture. Her head made wide turns as she looked between you and the Millelith soldiers, the sparkle in her eyes conveying a plea as dramatic as a rock opera.

“BUT…! You can leave Xinyan to me.”

The rocker pumped a fist at your words, smiling wide once you received her signal.

“I’m sure you have more important matters that take precedence over this situation? I can make sure that Xinyan receives a punishment befitting her fire code violations. Consider it dealt with.”

The soldiers blinked a few times, before glancing at each other.

“Is… is that allowed?”

“It’s the Divine Creator. They should be able to handle it… right?”

They looked back at you after a quiet moment of deliberation amongst themselves, giving you a nod in affirmation. “Very well. We shall leave this matter in your capable hands, Your Grace.”

You continued to smile as you watched the soldiers hesitantly leave, casting glances over their shoulders at you before they disappeared out of your sight, before you looked at the performers.

“...I’m surprised that that worked. I didn’t think they’d accept that I have any authority for this.”

“But it’s a good thing it did!” Xinyan smiled. “Thanks for helping me out, Your Grace!”

Yun Jin hummed as her head tilted. “What kind of punishment would you even give Xinyan?”

You thought for a moment, putting a finger on your chin, before you smiled again.

“Eternal banishment?”

“Aw, shucks.” Xinyan continued to smile brightly, even as faux disappointment laced itself into her voice and a small chuckle escaped her lips. “Ain’t that just a bit too harsh, Your Grace?”

You snorted, rolling your eyes before focusing on the rocker again. “I suppose so. Just be more careful, okay? I doubt you’d actually end up hurting someone during a performance, but still.”

“Since you’re the one saying to, Your Grace…”

You shared another small laugh with Xinyan before noticing Yun Jin perk up, her eyes widening as if she had just had a sudden thought, and you found her red eyes looking right into your eyes.

“Oh, Your Grace, if you have the time, we actually require some of your help-”

“Well, now, what’s with all the commotion here?”

With the suddenness of a cheap indie jumpscare, a familiar figure popped up from between your little trio, springing onto her feet with her usual smile plastered on her face. The question of when she had snuck so close was wholly forgotten as Xinyan, Yun Jin, and you reacted appropriately.

“Wha- Hu Tao!” You clutched a hand to your chest. “Are you trying to give us all heart attacks?”

“Oh, no, no no! It’s far too early for you three!” The unwavering smile of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor director did little too soothe you, especially when she winked. “But… if you’re ever feeling unwell, Your Grace, I hope you’ll choose our humble business to make your exit a smooth one!”

“Director Hu, I highly doubt Their Grace will require our services anytime in the near future.”

“Hehe, you can never know~!”

The director was, of course, accompanied by the parlor’s consultant. His golden gaze moved from his boss to you, a hint of fondness softening the stoic expression displayed on his face.

“Zhongli!” You smiled at the sight of the consultant, Yun Jin and Xinyan greeting him with a bow and a wave respectively. “Am I to assume you two are currently on another advertising kick?”

“Yep, yep!” Hu Tao nodded. “New clients are always guaranteed, but we still must make sure all potential clients know exactly where all their farewell needs will be dealt with the proper respect.”

You hummed before looking at Zhongli. “And how many future clients have you two convinced?”

“The director… managed to get plenty of attention towards our business.”

Hu Tao playfully laughed. “Hey now, only time will tell how many clients take up our offer.”

You snorted and shook your head. “You… are certainly a handful, Hu Tao.”

“Mmm-hmm! But enough about me! What’s been going on with you three? While passing by, I couldn’t help but notice that you three all seemed to be having quite an interesting time together.”

“Just saving Xinyan from the Millelith, I suppose- oh!” You swiveled on your heel to face Yun Jin once more. “Right, you were asking for my help with something? What do you need from me?”

Yun Jin perked up again, seeming to remember she was about to request something before the shock of the funeral parlor’s staff arrival interrupted her, and nodded. “That’s right, Your Grace. I was just going to ask you about… I believe it’s called “Christmas” music? Yaoyao told us about it recently, and we were interested in learning more about it. We hoped that you’d help with that.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah!” Xinyan sported a brief look of confusion on her face before she also nodded, a smile appearing on her lips. “It sounds mighty interesting, Your Grace! I’d love to learn enough to perform music from your world! I’m sure there're plenty of rockin’ tunes you could tell us about.”

It took you a moment to process what they had said.

“You guys… want to learn about Christmas music?”

“Oooh!” Hu Tao leaned over your shoulder. “Music from Their Grace’s world? Count me in!”

Your gaze moved between the three ladies — the rocker, the opera singer, and the poet — who all stared back at you with interested gazes, before it flickered over to Zhongli, whose demeanor was more alert than it usually was around you… which you honestly should have expected; that he of all people would be interested in learning more about you in any capacity was no surprise.

“Uh… I guess I can teach you guys the songs I know? But don’t expect me to write down any of the melodies or anything. I have no skills in musical notation, especially if it’s just from memory.”

Xinyan waved her hand in dismissal. “You can just sing them for us, Your Grace.”

“Wha- wait, what? Me, sing?”

“To hear the Divine Creator sing…” Zhongli mused to himself, arms crossed with a finger held up to his chin. “...that would be quite the honor. It would make Glaze Lilies full-bloom, no doubt.”

You let out a weak laugh. “I-I’m not too sure about that…”

“Aw, come on, come on!” Hu Tao grabbed onto your shoulder, leaning in even closer, her face inches from your own. “Some people would find the chance to hear you sing worthy to die for!”

You took in a sharp inhale as you practically felt the hopes and expectations emitting from the four people around you, and eventually let out a long sigh, your shoulders coming to a slump.

“...fine, but how about we all go somewhere… not so public first?”

- - - - -

The two blue-haired boys in front of you each had a different expression on their face, one of which was a look of concern — though he was clearly trying to keep himself cool at the same time — while the other was fighting to hide the subtle hints of a smirk creeping onto his lips.

Your own face was a perfect display of confusion. “I… I’m sorry? What is this about?”

“Your Grace, I’ve heard rumors of a… a “Christmas” demon! But I’m unfortunately without any knowledge on what type of fiend it may be. I’m going to require your assistance to exorcise it.”

You stared at the young exorcist in front of you for a few seconds before looking to the second son of the Feiyun Commerce Guild, catching him hiding his laughter and disguising a snort that escaped as a cough with a closed fist over his mouth, and you slowly furrowed your eyebrows.

…that explains it.

“Well-” You looked at Chongyun again. “-the only Christmas “demon” I know of is “Krampus”.”

Chongyun raised a hand to his chin. “Such a sinister name… please, can you tell me everything you know about it? I must know as much as I can about the fiend in order to be able to stop it.”

“It kind of depends on who you ask, but, basically, Krampus is a demon who punishes naughty children around the time Christmas is celebrated. You know… the kind of children who cause a lot of trouble for other people, who misbehave and don’t play nice, who lie for no good reason.”

You glanced at Xingqiu, who had gone still with an almost worried smile at your expression.

“He’s covered in dark hair, has horns and hooves and fangs, and a long pointed tongue — oh, and he carries around chains, I think? Sometimes with bells. The punishments he doles out on bad children are stuff like swatting them on the butts with branches… or snatching them away in a basket to who-knows-where. To drown them or eat them… or something along those lines.”

“That… that’s horrible!” Chongyun appeared to actually get a bit heated as you spoke, his hands clenching into tight fists in front of his chest. “I must make sure to stop it before it hurts anyone!”

“Whoa there, Chongyun. Calm down and have a popsicle, ‘kay?” You let your lips curve up into a smile, and put a hand on the exorcist’s shoulder. “Krampus sure is a horrible guy and all… but he’s also fictional; just a character that parents tell their children about to make them behave, to teach them lessons about being nice and stuff. He’s not actually real — well, not that I know of, anyway — and, even if he was, he wouldn’t be anywhere in Teyvat. He’d be stuck in my world.”

Chongyun’s breathing was heavy, his face already flushed, but he managed to take one of his popsicles out and bite into it to calm himself. “Ugh, Your Grace… you could’ve started with that.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” You let go of Chongyun’s shoulder. “But how’d you even hear about Krampus? I don’t think I’ve told anyone about him before right now with you two.”

“Xingqiu told me about it.”

The guilty party put his hands up in defense as you looked at him. “H-Hey, I was just having a little fun. I honestly had no idea that there was actually a demon associated with Christmas.”

“An unlucky guess then, huh?” You paused for a moment. “...but how’d you even hear about Christmas? Did Yaoyao tell you about it too? It seems like the talk of the harbor nowadays…”

That innocent line of questioning had a greater chilling effect than his popsicle, it seemed, as Chongyun froze at the moment. Xingqiu stepped in and quickly pushed his friend aside, your hand leaving the exorcist’s shoulder to linger in the air. “She did inform us of it, yes. It sounds like a quaint holiday, so it makes sense that a child such as herself would want to tell everyone she knows about it. I admit, it has even perked my interest too, from everything I’ve been told.”

“...huh, that’s nice. I’m glad everyone seems to be enjoying the concept.”

There was something off about all this, but not in a bad way, so you brushed it off for now.

Xingqiu nodded as he continued to smile at you happily. “But now that that’s settled, we should get going. I’m sure you’ve got a busy schedule, Your Grace. We wouldn’t want to hold you up.”

Chongyun blinked, coming back to reality. “Ah, wait-”

“Tsk, Chongyun, you’re still all red. You should have another popsicle.”

The exorcist didn’t get a chance to speak again before Xingqiu stuffed another tasteless frozen treat into his mouth, the latter then hurriedly pushing his flustered friend away down the street.

“It was pleasant to speak with you, Your Grace!”

The two boys soon disappeared into the distance, leaving you standing there alone.

“Uh… bye, I guess?”

- - - - -

Another day, another surprise.

You blinked a few times, making sure that the lady you were looking at was actually there. You didn’t exactly have a history of having hallucinations, but everything had been… bizarre this last week or so, and it wouldn’t hurt you to just check that you were still all there up in your noggin.

“Lady Ningguang?”

“Your Grace, what a pleasant surprise.”

The Tianquan was calm, politely greeting you with a soft smile on her lips, a smile reserved for you and you alone. Her being was a living display of high-class status, the epitome of luxury…

…and she was currently just hanging out at the docks.

You were not someone who could criticize her for it, though; for some people, it was odd for you to be hanging around Liyue Harbor’s docks so casually, as no one really expected to see one of the gods they worshiped watching the ships or examining the goods of incoming, docked ships.

“Uh… so, what’re you doing here? Taking in the ocean breeze?”

Ningguang chuckled. “I simply have business to discuss with Beidou. It’s nothing of concern, but is important enough that I have decided to come see her myself as soon as she arrives.”

“Wait, the Alcor is docking soon?” You perked up, your gaze glancing between the water and Ninguang, who looked at the water herself. “Wow, my timing’s great! Mind if I wait with you?”

“I’d see it as an honor, Your Grace.”

You got into position beside Ningguang, leaning forward slightly as you looked out at the ships sailing across the nearby waters. The operation at the harbor was always so smooth, orderly, and satisfying — you were embarrassed to admit how much time you had spent just lingering around the docks whenever you visited Liyue, being a bystander to the comings and goings of the ships and the people working here. This time, however, you were trying to focus on spotting the Alcor among the other seacraft, assuming its distinct design would stand out among them.

The moment was quiet, aside from the waves and workers, until Ningguang spoke again.

“Your Grace, I’m planning to do a bit of decorating around the Jade Chamber.”

“Oh?”

“I was thinking about adding a tree.”

You paused for a few seconds, before slowly looking at Ningguang. “A… tree?”

“Yes, a tree. Would you have any suggestions for the type?”

Wow.

You suddenly forgot about every tree you have ever known about.

“Ah, hmm… well, it’s your Jade Chamber. You should choose whichever tree you prefer. I know you’ve got good taste, and will be able to fit anything you choose into your amazing aesthetics.”

“I should choose, you say…? Very well.”

You soon settled back into a comfortable silence, continuing to wait on the docks with subdued excitement pumping through your veins, before finally catching the sight of the Alcor making its way over to the docks. It took a while for the ship to actually dock, having to navigate around the multiple others nearby, but the moment that it had, Ningguang and you made your way over to it.

You passed by some of the crew members unloading various types of cargo, before seeing the captain of the ship walk down the gangplank, who smiled when she saw you and the Tianquan.

“The Tianquan AND Their Grace are here to greet me? Something serious must be up, huh?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that!” You smiled. “I just got lucky to be here as you got back.”

“Haha, you flatter me, Your Grace. I’d typically consider myself the lucky one.”

Ningguang shook her head just slightly, her expression more reserved than yours. “Although it’s not of any major concern, I do have something to discuss with you, Captain Beidou. Shall we?”

“Huh, alright.”

Beidou gave you a nod as she walked off with Ningguang to talk, the two women leaving you on your own. You found yourself curious about what they could be talking about, but figured it would be rude to try and eavesdrop or force yourself into the conversation; that, and your attention was finding itself quickly caught by something — or, rather, someone — else that you noticed nearby.

“Kazuha!”

The lips of the wandering samurai turned up into a smile after he heard you call out to him, your form practically bouncing over to him. His eyes followed your movements as he turned to you.

“Greetings, Your Grace.” He gave you a polite nod. “You appear to be in good spirits.”

You waved your hand to the side, before letting it fall to your side in a loose fist. “Aw, I’m always happy to see you. It’s probably impossible to not be; actually, no, it definitely is impossible.”

Kazuha let out a soft chuckle, his shoulders bouncing with the tiniest movements. “Your words today are as warm as the mid-afternoon sun, Your Grace. I’m glad. How have you been lately?”

“Mmm… normal, I guess. Though it feels like something fishy is going on around the harbor.”

“Oh…?”

You held back a snicker. “Get it? Fishy? But, really, I feel like something’s up.”

“That’s troubling. I can lend you my assistance if you desire?”

“Huh? Oh, no!” You waved your hands in front of yourself, your eyes widening just a bit as you continued to smile. “I’m sure it’s nothing big, and, besides, I wouldn’t want to bog down our time together with worries. I don’t see you often enough since you’re always on the road, traveling.”

“Ah, of course. If you’d like to hear it, I’ve come up with some new poetry since we last met.”

“Oooh! Then go ahead and bless my ears, Kazuha.”

The hustle and bustle of the docks faded away as you chatted with Kazuha, intently listening to each and every one of the poetic words falling from his mouth. You even tried coming up with a few poems yourself, but it was difficult to do it on the fly; the praise Kazuha gave your attempts kept you from being discouraged, though some of the metaphors you tried to use felt a lot more poetic in your mind than when you said them out loud. You were in the middle of thinking up how to describe a certain line in your next masterpiece when you realized a lot of time had passed.

You felt a presence approach from the side, and looked up to see Beidou standing there.

Ningguang was nowhere to be found when you gave your surroundings a quick once-over, her elegant presence absent from the nearby crowds, and that meant she must have left long ago.

The captain looked between you and Kazuha, her smile apologetic when her gaze stopped on you. “Sorry, Your Grace, but I have something to talk about with Kazuha. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Hmm? Oh, well… that’s fine. I should probably be going anyhow. See you around!”

You bid the two farewell, seeing them respond in kind, and started walking away from them.

Beidou kept her eye on you until you were completely gone, and she turned to Kazuha.

“Okay, so, there’s this thing called “Christmas”...”

- - - - -

“Please accept my offering, o’ great adeptus, and bless me with your presence this quiet night.”

“...you don’t have to do that, Your Grace.”

The evening air was cool, gentle breezes rolling in from the distance and brushing against you where you stood on the highest balcony in Wangshu Inn. The lanterns from inside and hanging by the doorway cast a warm glow outwards, giving the balcony a cozy atmosphere despite how it faced the dark landscapes of Bishui Plain, the warm hues of the land hidden within shadows.

Your hands held tightly onto a plate of Almond Tofu — expertly and lovingly crafted by your own hands, you were proud to admit — as you smiled at the familiar figure that appeared before you, the sight of the inn’s resident adeptus never failing to bring you joy. The dim lighting made it hard to tell, as well as his usual distant demeanor, but you swore that he was looking a little flustered.

“Aww, why not? Everyone else does it.”

Xiao crossed his arms over his chest. “But you’re not “everyone else”.”

“Hmph.” You pouted, extending your arms out to present the Almond Tofu to him. “Here, you can at least take this. I made it special, just for you. I worked hard to learn the recipe, from the best.”

He stared down at the plate in your hands for a few seconds, before he slowly uncrossed his arms and carefully took it from you. The adeptus continued to stare at the food you prepared while you stared at him, the faintest hint of a blush on his cheeks — you internally cursed to yourself about the lack of decent lighting in this moment — before he finally took the first bite.

You spent just a moment watching Xiao carefully savor your expert culinary craftsmanship, and then looked out at the water and shadowed silhouettes of the nearby mountains, leaning yourself against the wooden railing of the balcony. The wood was cold and rough within your tight grip.

“...you know, everyone’s been acting really strange lately. Not in a bad way, but still.”

Your lips parted as you sighed, adjusting your arms to have your elbows on the railing.

“Even the other adepti are being weird. I tried to visit Cloud Retainer in Liyue Harbor, but Shuyu told me that she was really busy, even though she’s normally willing to take a break to chat with me whenever I drop by. Don’t even ask me how the other two are doing, I spent a good amount of time looking around their domains but wasn’t able to find them. It just feels like… like I’m being left out of something; like everyone is hiding something from me. Something that feels… major.”

You turned your head to look at Xiao. “Would you have any idea why?”

The adeptus briefly paused, his gaze meeting yours after having seemingly moved to you while you were talking, before wiping off the almond tofu around his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I…”

He hesitated, his eyes shifting away from you.

- - -

“As one of the Divine Creator’s vessels, you HAVE to come.” Hu Tao had a wide smile on her lips, her hands clenched together into tight fists in front of her chest. “Besides, it’ll be totally fun!”

The adeptus looked uncertain, his gaze shifting to the man accompanying the funeral director.

Zhongli met Xiao’s eyes with a soft smile, giving him a nod as well. “Indeed. Their Grace seems to also be quite fond of this “Christmas” business. It would be a shame if you did not participate.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Hu Tao nodded frantically, bouncing into the space between the adeptus and her consultant to direct the attention back to herself. “Come on…! It’ll only be the other vessels and adepti there. There’s no need to be all cautious and standoffish about it, so what do you say…?”

Xiao still looked conflicted, his eyebrows furrowed, before soon letting out a sigh.

“...very well. For the Divine Creator’s sake.”

Hu Tao clapped her hands. “Yay!”

“Just make sure to keep it a secret from Their Grace, if you end up encountering Them before then.” Zhongli looked pleased with Xiao’s answer, although he was much calmer than his boss was. “It’s supposed to be a “surprise party”, so try to avoid spoiling its existence at all costs.”

The adeptus nodded, crossing his arms.

“Got it.”

- - -

You couldn’t say for sure what exactly was going on inside Xiao’s head, but the expression on his face made it look like he was having some kind of internal war with himself, a struggle with the proverbial “rock and a hard place” that left him not looking forward to picking either option he was presented with. This was probably the most readable his feelings had ever been to anyone.

“Uh… hey, you don’t have to answer, Xiao.”

The adeptus appeared to snap back to reality, blinking as he looked at you.

You slightly smiled as you pushed yourself off of the railing. “I can kind of assume what’s going on. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't going crazy and seeing something out of nothing.”

Xiao’s lips parted, the softest exhale leaving them. “...I can’t lie to you, Your Grace.”

“Then just don’t say anything.”

You winked at him, your tongue sticking out from your lips. “And you should be busy eating the Almond Tofu I made you, anyways. It’s rude to speak while your mouth’s full, don’tcha know?”

Xiao briefly glanced back down at the plate in his hands, before he nodded.

“...okay.”

- - - - -

“Your presence is requested at the Jade Chamber.”

That was what you were told, but you weren’t able to think of any important reason of why that might be. You had always made sure to greatly distance yourself to the extreme from anything major regarding Liyue’s leadership — no political decision-making or “ruling with an iron fist” for you, even if some folks acted like your word was the single most important thing in all of Teyvat.

The Yuheng and the general secretary both knew that about you very well.

“Is… it for something important? Or does Ningguang just want to, like… play chess with me?”

Ganyu and Keqing shared a brief look with each other, before the former looked back at you, a bit of a nervous frown now on her lips. “It’s… nothing bad, but you should go see for yourself.”

“Here.” Keqing gestured for you to follow after her. “We can escort you.”

You looked down at Keqing’s hand for just a moment, before everything clicked.

The stranger-than-usual behavior of everyone lately… the random-but-very-frequent mentions of Christmas… and now you being requested to such a place as the Jade Chamber practically out of the blue. You even thought about how you couldn’t find a single one of the vessels around the harbor today, despite how you walked through the entire city front-to-back and back-to-front and side-to-side, checking each and every nook and cranny with the hope of finding someone.

You smiled.

“Oh, no, that’s okay. I can get us there quicker.”

You grabbed Keqing’s outstretched hand, the warm hue of her face matching Ganyu’s after you had grabbed the half-qilin’s hand too. Your grip was gentle but firm as you stood between them.

“You- Your Grace…”

“H-Hey, wait-!”

Within seconds, you heard the familiar teleporting sound resonate inside your head before you and your two current companions were warped up onto the platform of the Jade Chamber…

…only to hear a muffled thud accompanying a sudden cold, wet sensation that landed on you.

It felt like a worse version of getting an ice cube put down the back of your shirt.

The powdery substance slid off of the upper-half of your face after you blinked your eyes a few times, which revealed to you that what had just covered you was a thick blanket of snow, and it had also trapped Keqing and Ganyu, turning you three into vaguely self-shaped snow mounds.

You were completely befuddled at this situation.

Snow? At this time of year, in this part of Liyue, localized entirely within the Jade Chamber?

You attempted to shift around, eventually managing to catch sight of the cause of the surprise snowfall. There was a strange machine that almost resembled a snowblower from your world, water being poured into one end and snow coming out of an upwards-chute-like exit located on the other end. The snow coming out now fell softly to the ground, unlike what had just hit you.

The one who created the device crossed her arms, pushing her glasses up slightly.

“Hmph. If the Divine Creator wishes for it to snow, then one shall make it snow.”

“Wow, Aunty Cloud Retainer! You’re amazing!”

Yaoyao looked up at the adeptus with awe, clapping her hands with a bright smile.

You continued to look around — as much as you could in your new form as a snowman — and saw several others lingering about the area, all of which had been mysteriously missing today.

The musicians and performers were all gathered near a small stage that had been set up, doing last-minute checks and practice from what you could tell. You took a few moments to take in the sight of it before you snapped out of your thoughts and focused to hear them through the snow.

Gaming shook his hands out, Man Chai following his lead and shaking his whole body out. “Aha, I’ve been practicing for days and everything, but I’m still getting so nervous all of a sudden…”

“Pre-show jitters, huh?” Xinyan stood on the stage, fiddling with her guitar as she looked down at the Wushou dancer with a slight, unsure smile. “Can’t help but have them myself right now too.”

Yun Jin walked across the stage, her head tilted up to check the decorations hanging up. “Their Grace is so kind, there shouldn’t be any reason to worry… but I can understand the feeling.”

“Hey, hey, just don’t get so nervous you have a heart attack.” Hu Tao had the only smile near the stage free of hesitation. “The business would be nice, but it would be way too inconvenient now.”

There was another section where a buffet had been laid out, Xiangling hovering over the spread with her gaze flickering around to all the various dishes, almost like she was looking for anything that needed any last-minute adjustments made. Guoba stood on a chair next to the chef, putting his paws on the edge of the table as he looked between the dishes and at her with a happy aura.

“I had to make a few guesses here and there about the recipes, even with the advice from Their Grace…” Xiangling furrowed her brows before letting out a sigh. “I hope They like everything.”

“I’m sure They will.” Madame Ping had a gentle smile on her face as she glanced at the food the young chef had prepared. “It all looks and smells absolutely wonderful, there’s no doubt about it.”

Beidou nodded and chuckled. “Now, this is what I call a feast! You outdid yourself, Xiangling!”

“It all sure looks… interesting.”

Yanfei tilted her head, her eyes moving down along the long buffet table as she spoke.

“I… I’m having trouble making out what some of these dishes are, though.”

Xiangling smiled at the reassurances. “Oh, don’t worry. I can explain everything, if you’d like.”

Your attention, however, was soon captured by the main centerpiece of the whole occasion: a beautiful Sandbearer tree decorated with lanterns of all colors, all organized to create the most breathtaking sight you had seen all day. There were actually a lot of lanterns hanging around all over, now that you were conscious of their presence; it almost resembled Lantern Rite, in a way.

Well, a Lantern Rite that was being held on a very miniature scale.

“This is very pleasant.” Kazuha looked up at the tree, his hand over his chest. “I never imagined that a “Christmas tree” would look like this. It brings to the mind a kaleidoscope of Crystalflies.”

Ningguang had her arms crossed, also standing nearby to admire the tree she had put up and decorated to a degree befitting her luxurious aesthetics. “I was informed that the tree was to be decorated in lights and ornaments. I believe Their Grace will be quite pleased with the result.”

“Their Grace has some intriguing traditions from Their world.” Zhongli placed a hand to his chin in thought, his eyes briefly breaking away from the tree. “No wonder They spoke of it so highly.”

By this point, you were getting cold. Way too cold. So cold you felt stiff.

You shook the snow off as you took in a deep breath.

“Okay, that was an experience…”

“Your Grace?!”

You felt two dozen pairs of eyes land on your form as everyone’s head snapped towards your direction, the sound of your voice might as well having been a siren to their ears — your arrival had been expected to be normal, after taking the long route instead of the shortcut you chose to take instead, with some semblance of warning. You smiled bashfully, pulling a now-unconscious Ganyu and Kequing out of their snow piles since you were still holding their hands all this time.

“Hehe… guess I’m not the only one surprised at this surprise party, then?”

- - - - -

Today was the day you discovered how good Guoba and Man Chai made for living Warmies, your once-shivering and soaked body able to warm up and dry off after only a short but sweet cuddle session with them. The party couldn’t start until you were comfortable, after all… as well as until Keqing and Ganyu finally regained consciousness and also got themselves warmed up.

…and the start was unforgettable.

“Behold, Your Grace-”

Truly unforgettable.

“-for one has donned the appearance of a Christmas hero spoken of in tales from your home.”

There, standing in front of you, were some of the adepti, and although the three ladies and Xiao were in their human forms at the party, the other two men were not. That included Moon Carver, the one who had spoken to you first when they approached, who proudly stood in front of you in his stag form… with a glowing red nose — likely made possible by adepti magic, you assumed.

You briefly recalled telling Yaoyao and Qiqi about some stories related to Christmas, which, of course, included “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”. Turning slightly away for a moment, you raised a hand to cover the smile slowly growing on your lips as you tried to calm yourself down.

“Yeaaah…” Your voice wavered, you being unable to stop your eyes glancing to and from Moon Carver. “Christmas would’ve been cancelled if not for Rudolph. He’s a… a true hero, alright…”

The snort that slipped from your lips went unnoticed by Moon Carver, the adeptus preening at your approval. The planned festivities luckily continued on before you actually started laughing.

- - - - -

They had only had about a week to prepare, but the musical performance was probably one of the, if not the, best thing you had ever witnessed in your life; most everyone had gathered into a crowd in front of the stage as Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Gaming took their places in the spotlight. You were almost too enamoured with the show to notice how Yun Jin occasionally snuck a couple of glances at you from her spot in the crowd next to you, a smile growing on her lips at your own.

The musicians had taken the songs that you told — or, rather, sang to — them and used them as inspiration to come up with a brand-new Christmas song, complete with Xinyan’s rock guitar and Hu Tao’s iconic rapping. Gaming had even created a special routine to go along with all of it.

“Bravo!” You clapped your hands frantically after the performance finished, a whoop escaping your lips as you cheered. “That was… incredible! I loved it! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

The sense of relief that left the performers’ bodies was noticeable, their forms relaxing as your praise finally casted away all of the tension that had plagued them from their pre-show nerves.

“I’m glad, Your Grace.” Yun Jin smiled. “We only had so much time, but we worked really hard.”

“I can tell.” Your cheeks hurt a little from how much you were smiling, and you tilted your head. “I hope I get to see it again someday. That was way too good to be just a one-time performance.”

Gaming let out a chuckle, a sense of weariness in his tone. “I’d be happy to dance for you again, Your Grace. Just… I still need a moment to calm down from the excitement of the first time.”

“Oh-ho! But I’m ready for round two right now!” Hu Tao pumped her fists as she snickered. “I knew Their Grace couldn’t resist my excellent rhyming skills! I could do this all day, any day!”

Xinyan adjusted her grip on her guitar as she looked back at the stage they performed on. “Uh, I think we may have gone a little overboard with the pyrotechnics, though… even for me, heh…”

You followed the rocker’s gaze to the stage, seeing that it… kind of didn’t exist anymore, with all that remained being a stage-shaped pile of charred wood. Given that three Pyro users had used it for their performance, where they had turned up the heat to give you the show of a lifetime, you should have expected this, especially considering Xinyan’s track record with this sort of thing.

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.

“Yeah, okay, I think one performance is enough for today, then.”

- - - - -

“Wow, I didn’t know you had such an appetite, Your Grace.”

Xiangling’s eyes were wide as she looked at your plate, which was piled high with servings from the buffet. There was a little of everything, as you wanted to try all of the different dishes that had been prepared by the chef; some looked traditional, and very close to what you had described to her about, while others clearly had creative choices made during their creation. There were also some traditional Liyue dishes being offered — considering how many people were present at the party, Xiangling really made sure that there would be enough food for everyone to have their fill.

You held your plate carefully in front of you. “I can’t help it. Everything looks so good.”

It appeared that many others also held the same opinion, almost everyone filling up their plates with various dishes from the buffet. There were plenty of options; everyone could eat something.

“What is this…?” Ganyu observed a red jam-like substance in one of the bowls, tapping it gently with the small spoon that was provided for folks to scoop it. “It smells like some kind of fruit…?”

“Ah, that’s Valberry sauce!” Xiangling piped up and moved over to the half-qilin. “Their Grace mentioned a dish made with this type of berry called a “Cranberry”, so I had to find a similar substitute. You should be able to eat it, Miss Ganyu. It doesn’t contain any animal products.”

“What I’m more interested in is that!” Beidou pointed to what-could-be-considered the main dish of the whole spread, her eye and smile both wide. “Now that looks like something real special.”

Xiangling smiled as she made her way over to the captain. “That’s a three-bird roast called a “gooducken”. It’s a chicken inside of a duck inside of a goose. I had to do a lot to get it right.”

Beidou let out a long hum. “Oooh, that sounds impressive! I’ll have a big portion, then!”

“I should try something new too…” Keqing looked between her plate and the buffet, a small frown coming to her face. “...but all that I’ve got on my plate is Golden Shrimp Balls so far…”

“Ah! Chongyun! Qiqi! The cold dishes are over here.” Xiangling directed the two over to one side of the buffet table, waving them over while gesturing to the dishes. “There’s plenty for you to try.”

“Here, I’ll help!” Yaoyao scooped food onto Qiqi’s plate. “This looks good. Make sure to eat it all!”

“Okay.”

Chongyun held his plate away from Xingqiu, his eyes shifting between his friend and the food he was putting onto his plate. “Please don’t try to sneak anything spicy onto my plate this time.”

“Why, I would never.” Xingqiu chuckled, a hand held up in defense. “What a random accusation.”

“Your Grace…” Baizhu eyed your plate as you took a seat next to him, his gaze scanning all of the generous portions you served yourself. “I’m not entirely knowledgeable on how much a god can eat, but make sure not to overstuff yourself. I can’t imagine it’d be good for your stomach.”

“I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises!”

And after stuffing yourself full of Xiangling’s cooking, it felt like a happy mistake in the end.

- - - - -

The party was going well so far; after the performance and initial serving of food, it was nice to see everyone mingling together and having fun. You scanned the area, taking in the groups that the characters formed amongst themselves, before refocusing your attention back on what you were doing: being busy at the “Winter Weather Device” Cloud Retainer built for the occasion.

And snow was actually a lot more pleasant when you weren’t buried under a heavy blanket of it.

“Shenhe, if I ever get into a snowball fight, I’m recruiting you to my team.”

The woman stared at you, seriously. “I would slay all your foes if need be, Your Grace.”

“Aha… snowball fights aren’t that serious, but thanks.”

You continued to pat down the snow you held into a snowball, the cold flakes a higher-quality than what nature ever made. The water used to make them apparently came from the adepti abodes, which, of course, was why the snow was so soft and powdery, like from a fairytale.

“I’m…” Yanfei stood by you, also crafting a snowball in her hands — which shook slightly from the cold steeping into her fingers — at your insistence. “...not sure I see the appeal in this.”

“The appeal is the glory of victory over your foes.”

“...right.”

Yanfei left the snowball she had made in the growing pile by your feet. You watched the younger partygoers play in the snow, stomping around and making vaguely snowman-like structures out of the cold flakes, before you felt someone approach you from behind, and turned to face them.

“Yelan! Hey! I didn’t notice you were here, are you having fun?”

Yelan let out a soft exhale, the warm light of the nearby stone lanterns illuminating her face from below as she faintly smiled. “It’s hard not to have a good time when you’re around, Your Grace.”

“D’aw, you’re just flattering me. I know how you work.”

You snorted as Yelan chuckled at your comment, before a thought struck you.

“Oh! I just realized I haven’t seen you around for a while! Where’ve you been this entire time?”

“Places.”

“Doing what?”

“Things.”

You stared at Yelan for a few seconds, her gaze amused as she stared back.

“...okay, then. Keep your secrets.”

You played with the snowball in your hands, rolling it back and forth between your palms as you briefly pondered all of the mysterious — and probably legally-dubious — things Yelan must have been up to this past week and a half, before you were snapped out of your thoughts by the sight of a wrapped box being held in front of your face. The hand holding it was Yelan’s, the shiny bow adorning the tiny rectangular container bending in the gentle evening breeze that was blowing by.

The box was pushed into one of your hands, the snowball now held in the other.

“Here. For you. I hear giving gifts is a custom for this little holiday we’re celebrating, hm?”

“Where’d you hear about… no, wait, never mind. I’m not gonna get an answer, am I?”

“You know me too well, Your Grace.” Yelan chuckled again, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly as she smiled at you. “If you were anyone else, that’d be a problem. But if it’s you, it’s just fine.”

You had never felt so lucky to be yourself as you did right now.

“I suppose I’ll let you rejoin the rest of the party now. Everyone worked so very hard to put this whole thing together just for you, I shouldn’t keep you from rewarding them with your attention.”

Yelan turned away from you, glancing over her shoulder as she walked away.

“I’ll be watching. May we meet again soon, Your Grace.”

- - - - -

Despite all of the fun you were having, the party sadly couldn’t go on forever.

The daylight soon blended into night, and with it, the guests started to take their leave. The first to go were the youngest of the characters — Qiqi left with Baizhu and Changsheng, Yaoyao with Cloud Retainer, Madame Ping and most of the other adepti. Yaoyao had even started to doze off at that point, requiring her to be carried by Cloud Retainer. Shenhe also left with the latter group.

Then went the next youngest: Xingqiu, Chongyun, Xiangling, Hu Tao, Yun Jin, Gaming… before they left, you made sure to give both Guoba and Man Chai another extra tight hug for the road.

Those who had work the next day soon followed. Yanfei, Keqing, and Ganyu all gave you polite goodbyes as they left, and Yelan vanished into the dark as easily as she had appeared to you.

Beidou left after saying goodbye to you and Ningguang, who simply headed inside of the Jade Chamber after bidding you a good night. Kazhua left with the pirate caption, his farewell another one of his poems that you were unfortunately too tired to think of one of your own in response to.

The harbor seemed to glow below the Jade Chamber as the city’s lanterns lit up in the absence of the sun. You fiddled with the gift from Yelan in your hands, still wrapped up and unopened.

“Your Grace, would I be correct in saying the surprise party was a success?”

You brought your gaze back up from Liyue Harbor and turned to see Zhongli approaching to stand beside you, his arms politely folded behind his back and his eyes focused on your face.

You smiled, giving him a nod. “Oh, yeah! It was so much fun! And I’m definitely going to figure out how to thank everyone for it, especially Yaoyao and Qiqi since they planned the whole thing!”

His lips turned up into a soft smile. “I’m very pleased to hear you say that, Your Grace.”

Your gaze shifted from the man standing next to you to the roof of the Jade Chamber, and you waved at Xiao to come join you and Zhongli. The legendary boy-adeptus had kept his distance from most others during the party, opting to watch from the rooftops as an onlooker rather than an active participant in it, though you were just happy that he was near all the festive energy.

With a sudden burst of green and black wisps, Xiao was at your side.

You looked at the adeptus with an enthused smile. “Sooo… did you enjoy yourself, Xiao?”

“...as long as the party made you happy, then I’m happy, Your Grace.”

You clutched a hand over your heart. “Xiao… you’re too sweet.”

This felt like the perfect ending to a perfect celebration, and as you looked between the adeptus and the Archon, you only felt all warm and fuzzy — it was almost too much for you. Almost.

“Hey, I don’t feel like sleeping just yet. Let’s go for a walk around the harbor together.”

“We’d be honored to, Your Grace.”

#genshin impact #genshin impact oneshot #liyue #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin impact x reader #sagau x reader #genshin impact reader insert #sagau reader insert #christmas oneshot #christmas special #x reader #reader insert

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herawell · 1 year ago

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#I’m never going to get an apology #and tonight confirmed that at least #what I still don’t know is whether I deserve one #I know what my mom says #and I know what literally every one else says #or at least what society says #don’t want to go to therapy bc who knows what they’ll say #and I don’t need to hear it confined by a licensed professional #*hear it confirmed #anyway that’s that #mother mention cw #negativity cw #so now I know where I stand #and sorry to anyone who was worried tonight #I’m not about to do something drastic #(*im not my mother)#just reeling from confirmation #and trying to decide where I go from here

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wildevenusian · 3 months ago

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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?

can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit

#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me #i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to #me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited #still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free #and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk #and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted #tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt #and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought #that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners #bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever #especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but #despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people #or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend #i’m just. noticing behaviors #they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i #idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it #so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all #bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting #ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel #discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all #and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth #which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about #but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them #humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol

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loveliluc · 27 days ago

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𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ not so gentle gentlemen ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

— ft. ayato, diluc, neuvillette, zhongli

synopsis — they’re respectful, eloquent, and dignified. they are gentlemen in every sense. but when it comes to how they have you? well, let’s just say there’s nothing gentle about it; 2.2k words.

— minors do not interact! unprotected sex. rough sex. orgasm denial. hair pulling. dacryphilia. choking. breeding. size kink. neuvi has two cocks cuz ya know, dragon. cockwarming. double penetration. public sex. fem!reader. sub!reader.

— ayato 𝜗𝜚

there’s a firm hand in your hair and then an ever firmer tug. it’s accompanied by a sharp, deep thrust and all you can do is wail into the sheets. a toned body hovers above your back. you feel the textures of his attire and all its embellishments; it’s rough against your skin. “oh? are you crying, my darling?” ayato’s voice is silky soft on your ears, but there’s a sharp edge that makes you writhe underneath him. the little crystalline beads pour from your eyes in a flood, soaking the sheets. you hear him chuckle coolly. “my, after all of your confidence from earlier, here you are shedding tears. can’t you handle it? is this not the outcome you were so diligently seeking?”

you release a shaky breath. “ayato,” you plead with him, but you know it’s pointless. there’s no use in attempting to change the yashiro commissioner’s mind once he’s set on something, and right now he is set on making a mess of you. “i’m —” a hiccup, “— sorry!”

“sorry?” another ruthless plunge of his cock. your ass feels raw from all the slaps of his pelvis against you. you can’t see him, but you know there’s a goading smirk on his face. “this is quite rich coming from you, my darling. you were creating such a scene, and in public of all places. did you forget we have a reputation to uphold?”

you pout and from the way your face is turned, ayato can see clearly how your bottom lip juts out. your ayato, your kind, patient, loving ayato has transformed into the menace behind you. how he is now and how he is to the public is a night and day difference; you feel simultaneously blessed to witness this exclusive side of him and exasperated. he’s robbed you of countless orgasms at this point — to teach you a lesson, he said — and your body aches. he tugs at your hair again.

“now you’re so quiet. oh goodness, that won’t do.” ayato sets a brutal pace and all you can do is clamber at the sheets and take it. his mushroom tip kisses your cervix and it’s a pleasurable pain. the coil in your tummy is building momentum again and you hope it won’t be torn away from you again.

“ah! ayato!” you sob and it’s shrilled and raspy. one of your hands reaches behind you and clasps at his long sleeve; you’re fully ridden of clothing while he still wears his. it’s a little humiliating, and it’s a sign of his power over you, but you can’t deny the way it makes you leak all over his length. “p-please!”

ayato chuckles, knowing what you’re after but determined to deprive you until you can communicate your need. “please what, darling? i cannot supply your need if you do not tell me what it is.” his cock throbs at the pitiful cry of his name and the squeeze of your walls around him. you’re close, very close.

he’s playing dumb, you know he is. you know what he’s after but what you don’t know is whether or not your poor, muddled brain can put the words together. “ayato, please! let me cum! i need it so bad!”

“is that it?” ayato drags his lips against your ear, pace still ruthless. you’re about to fall apart. “hmm, i suppose you are deserving of it. have you learned your lesson?”

“yes!”

his hand reaches south to pinch at your clit. “very good. you’ll do well to remember what you’ve learned, my darling.”

— diluc 𝜗𝜚

“d-diluc…mmh!” your body is folded in half when your legs are thrown over his shoulder. the weight of his body is heavy and it traps you against the mattress; you’re helpless to the ruthless pace of his hips. he’s able to reach so much deeper like this, and it’s maddening and overwhelming to the point you feel like you can’t catch a breath. your knees being pushed into your chest certainly isn’t helping either, though.

your plea falls on deaf ears as diluc continues to batter your insides, resilient in his efforts to mold you to the shape of his cock. you’re clawing at his biceps and he grunts at the sting, but your efforts do nothing to deter him. his vermilion eyes take in the sight of you scrunched and crowded underneath him, eyes glassy and brow dewy with sweat. your hair splays out over the pillow in a wild mess, and drool is at the corner of your lips. “look at you,” he pants. “such a mess. you look so dirty, my love. already so fucked out for me.”

your lover is a sight to behold above you — red mane falling down his shoulders, eyes alight with a burning passion, and his mouth hung open as continuous grunts spill out. he’s like a wildfire in this moment, so opposite to the cool, stoic persona that he displays to the rest of the world. and he respects you always, but right now he’s fucking you so insanely disrespectfully it makes your head spin. there’s nothing elegant in the way he’s taking you. “deep! you’re so, so deep!”

one of diluc’s large, calloused hands wraps around your neck. he chuckles lowly when your tiny hands wrap around his wrist, your pretty eyes blinking away tears as you gaze up at him. “you feel me deep inside, hm? ah, you’re taking me so well. you were fucking made to take my cock like this, my love.”

you feel him knocking against your womb. he’s so big it’s hard to handle him, your gummy walls struggling to expand enough for him. and when he fucks you like this, so hard and fast, you feel as if you might break like porcelain against the hard floor. “s’too much!”

diluc shushes you with a sloppy kiss. “no, no. you can take it. i’ll make you feel so good. i promise. just keep taking me like a good girl, okay?” you’re close and he can feel it from the vice like grip around his shaft. he knows you’re only a few strokes away from falling apart, and he groans because so is he. “and you’ll take all my cum, right? let me breed this pretty pussy. breed it so well, my love. i’ll fill you up so full.”

his voice is low and gravelly and rough against your ears. you whimper as he continues his brutal pace; you’re on the verge of breaking, and just like always, you’ll shatter into a million pieces so beautifully for him. and he’ll be there to pick up every piece of you to put you back together, just to make you fall apart all over again.

— neuvillette 𝜗𝜚

“oh, neuvillette,” you breath, or rather, you try to. your basic functioning seems almost impossible right now when you’re being stuffed so incredibly full. it’s borderline too much, and normally you could appeal to your lover’s tender heart for some reprieve, but not tonight.

neuvillette’s palm that rests against your tummy tightens, pushing against you and forcing you to be even more aware of how far he’s nestled into the depths of you. he’s two cocks deep, stretching both of your holes tautly. you hear his grunt from behind you and feel it on the back of your neck. “hush now,” he commands softly but firmly. “sit still and take it. i wish to continue my work in peace without anymore of your distractions.”

you want to slump forward against his desk, but his grip keeps you from doing so. and you try, really you do! you try to be still, to be good, to be content with the stillness of his hips and the way his cocks remain idle inside of you. they make you ache, just sitting on them is insufferable. you need him to move, to bend you over this large desk and fuck you into it. this is the whole reason you decided to visit him at the palais mermonia this late, after all. a longing for him so great you had to come to him directly, only for him to sit you on his cocks and do nothing more. you grind your hips and try as you might, there is no stopping the moan that slips out of you. the iudex under you tenses.

“did i not make myself clear, my love?” neuvillette has now left the task at hand in favor of holding you with both hands. he exhales heavily at the grip of you around him; you’re maddening and prancing on his very last shred of composure. he likes to pride himself on his self control, especially when at work, but you make him feel insane, like he’s capable of nothing more than his most basic and carnal instincts. “i told you to be still, to not be a distraction, yet you’re so intent on misbehaving.”

you shriek when you’re sent flying forward into the wood desk, your lover now standing behind you, cocks still lodged within. you open your mouth to speak his name but only a choked moan can be heard when he suddenly snaps his hips into your rear. your body is jolted and the documents underneath you are crumbled, though neuvillette doesn’t seem to care in the slightest. “f-fuck!”

neuvillette sets a brutal pace, but not before pulling at your shoulder to bring your back flush against his front. your spine arches when his cocks hit those perfect spots deep inside. long gone is the calm chief justice, replaced by the old dragon that you’ve so successfully provoked. “you will take everything i have to give, and you will be content. then you will let me finish my work. do you understand?”

you try to respond, but your ability to speak is lost as you succumb to his bruising pace. there’s a firm squeeze on your shoulder.

“my love, answer me.”

you croak. “i understand, n-neuvillette.”

a kiss to your temple, another bruising thrust. “good girl.”

— zhongli 𝜗𝜚

you probably should think twice before making fun of your lover; as patient as he is, even he has his own limits. you never really see his calm demeanor break, if ever, but after being with him for some time, you know certain ways to get under his gold laced skin. he can only take your teasing for so long before you’re quickly being reminded of the god of old that lies within him. and one of his most favorite ways to corral you back into your place is by reinforcing the sheer difference in size between you both.

“zhongli, hah!” you shriek when he brings your hips back down, his thick girth forcing itself back into your tight hole. archons, you feel so overloaded, so full you feel you might burst at the seams. but there’s nothing you can do about it now, not when he’s holding you in his arms, your body suspended in the air with his arms hooked under your knees. you’re completely at your lover’s mercy. “s’big! it’s too much!”

and he’s resembling more of his divine form than the human like form you’re familiar with, and you swear he feels even thicker inside you this way. zhongli grunts when he slams you down onto him again, using gravity to his advantage as well as his otherworldly strength. you release a broken sob but you get no sympathy. “breaking so soon, dearest?”

your arms are tight around his neck. with each powerful thrust you feel as if you might be sent flying; but zhongli has you locked in his secure hold. he won’t let you fall, ever. you want to reply with something, to prove yourself, but how can you when his cock hits your womb in such a way that turns you brainless? a mess of syllables that slightly resemble “please” and “zhongli” tumble out of your mouth and into his neck as you bury your face.

zhongli chuckles into your ear and the sound of it only emphasizes the pleasure he’s obviously taking from the state of you. you’re so small in his hold, so easily malleable and pliable to his will, and he so eagerly takes advantage of it. “you will take it, all of it. everything i give you. it’s only fair, yes?” he lifts you until just his swollen tip remains within before thrusting upwards hard, filling you abruptly with his entirety. your whole body shakes. “your actions have consequences. you couldn’t possibly think you’d get off so easily.”

you’re a weeping mess at this point, and your pussy is no different. your battered cunt leaks all over his cock, on his thighs, and even onto the floor below. you can’t deny the effect he has on you when he takes you this way. he’s unyielding and formidable as stone. no one but you could ever know about this side of the illustrious mr. zhongli. you gasp when your back meets the wall. you look up at your lover through glassy, tear rimmed eyes.

zhongli is impossibly close, golden eyes piercing through you. he grinds his hips to make you feel every last incredible inch of him. “but i suppose this is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?”

nat’s notes — just wanna take this time and say thank you so much for all the love on my last post! i’m pleasantly surprised how well my first fic did :’)) i hope everyone can enjoy this one, too!

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #ayato smut #ayato x reader #diluc smut #diluc x reader #neuvillette smut #neuvillette x reader #zhongli smut #zhongli x reader #genshin impact fanfiction

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darnell-la · 4 months ago

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Wolverine forcing you to squirt for the first time?? Pretty please?

note: if you’d like an older Wolverine, you can request again. we wrote this one too fast and made it the younger Wolverine. it’s still hot!

follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!

———

“Can’t tell me you’ve never squirted before and expect me to move on with life,” Logan said after placing you on the bathroom counter he had dragged you to during a drinking game.

The party was loud and you could still hear people playing Truth or Shot. After one of the girls asked if a man had made you squirt, and you answered that you hadn’t even done such a thing, Logan knew he had to do something about it.

He had made an excuse, asking if you could come fill up his cup with him. Of course, you came with him. He was a good friend, but you didn’t know he’d throw his cup away and drag you to the nearest bathroom.

“L-Logan -- Calm down,” Y/n gasped as his teeth sunk into her neck. “Ah uh,” he crowled, needing to give her what she deserved. “Can smell you, baby -- Can’t just leave you like this,” the man’s hands ripped at her panties after he pulled her dress up.

The young girl let out a low and shaky moan as his finger pushed inside of her. His eyes glued right on her face, watching her fall apart on his fingers in an instant.

“C’mon, baby, give it to me,” he growled, as he turned and twisted his finger in and out of her. “Too much,” she said whined as her hands fell on his shoulder. “Fuck, there’s no way,”

Logan couldn’t believe it, It seemed like she was a virgin. There’s no way one finger would make her get like this.

“Don’t lie to me, baby — Just tell me another man’s made you cum,” Logan wanted to know, but he knew the answer already. His eyes still locked onto hers, as her eyes drifted away every few seconds. She felt high, but she hadn’t smoked or drank tonight.

“N-No one has, Logan,” y/n took a while to admit, but thankfully for him, she got it out. The young girl's mind was going crazy. Logan hadn't ever shown a lick of affection towards her, yet now he was worried about whether a man had touched her?

She was confused, but he wasn’t. The thought of another man making her squirt first was unacceptable to him. He couldn’t let that happen.

Logan let his ego get the best of him, but so what? He was going to make her squirt tonight, tomorrow, the day after, and then the days after that. He was going to be the first and then last.

“I know you can take another,” the man said as he pulled out, instantly pushing two in next. “Logan!” The girl moaned at the burning feeling of her walls stretching. She was wet, but she still had to get used to the new and unfamiliar feeling.

“Fuck, yes, baby,” Logan couldn’t get over her. She looked so damn pretty. He wished he had done this months ago. He’ll gain those days back. He’ll spend every day licking at her cunt until she drowns him.

“P-P-Please,” y/n stuttered hard, trying to close her legs, but the man used his free hand to push them back open. He gripped her tightly. She wasn't going to stop him. He needed this.

“Keep your fuckin’ legs open, or I’ll fuck this cunt dumb,” the man threatened, wanting nothing to get in the way of feeling her drench his fingers. She has already coated them with slightly white and clear liquid. She never knew a man would like how much she leaked.

“Logan,” the girl gripped his shoulders tighter with a sob, feeling the knot in her stomach getting harder to control. She was embarrassed, but he wanted all over her whether she wanted to give it to him or not.

“Be a good girl — Make a mess, and I’ll clean that shit right up,” the man told no lie as his two fingers curled. Within seconds, y/n’s mouth parted as her head leaned back. Her eyes crossed as she felt her legs go stiff and her toes curled.

“Augh,” she let out a choked cry as she released on the man’s fingers. “Oh, that’s it, baby — That’s it!” The man finger fucked her cunt a bit harder to get every last drop out of her.

“P-Please,” the girl pushed at his wrists, needing a break, but he wouldn't stop. She gave up after a while and decided to pull the man into a tight hug as she struggled to breathe.

Y/n was still leaking down his hand. She couldn’t stop. He had made the girl go on for almost an hour until she passed out on his chest. breathing lightly from the exhaustion.

Logan couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing he had the girl dumb and cute, all for him. She was his. She marked him, and later when he sweet talks her into taking him as hers, he'll mark her.

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starryjake · 2 months ago

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medicine | s.j

in which jake is sick and the only thing that will make him feel better is a taste of you.

pairing: jake x fem!reader

includes: face sitting, oral sex, jake being sick, squirting, cumming untouched, cumming in pants, face riding (lmk if i missed anything).

jake was game to eat you out at any time.

you’re exhausted after a long day of work or classes? jake was there already kneeling in front of the bed, awaiting your pussy.

it’s the middle of the night and you’re tucked into bed, fast asleep? jake can’t help the craving he gets and just has to have one lick of your addictive taste before he’s able to fall asleep.

you step foot out of the shower and within less than a minute, jake is laying you down in the tub and devouring your pussy.

the point was, it didn’t matter the occasion. jake just always wanted to eat you out.

that was never anything you felt the need to complain about. you knew people who’s boyfriends refused to go down on them and you couldn’t believe it. you and your boyfriend had just about the opposite of that problem.

but since jake was always game, that meant he wanted it even when he was in not-so-great situations himself.

“no, jake,” you said assertively, shaking your head.

“please,” he begged, looking at you with those pleasing puppy-dog eyes.

at any other given time, you would’ve said yes. just like jake always wanted to eat you out, you always wanted to get eaten out. you two were a match made in heaven.

however, jake had picked up some virus going around campus and had been completely knocked out by it. he’d spent the past two days in bed sleeping, trying to rid his body of the sickness.

you’d been his faithful nurse, staying close by in case he needed anything. you made him soup, brought him medicine every few hours, monitored his temperature, and gave him everything else he could’ve possibly needed. except, that is, the one thing he actually wanted.

“why not?” he practically whimpered. “it’s been days. i deserve it. i’ll feel so much better.”

his desperation almost made you laugh. he wanted you so badly and if he wasn’t as sick as he was, you would’ve given it to him, but he just wasn’t well enough. he was still sniffly, still weak, still running a fever, and just simply was not in the right position to be giving you head.

“you deserve it?” you couldn’t hold back the laugh this time.

“i do!” he whined, not finding the situation funny whatsoever. “i’ve been stuck in this bed for days feeling like shit and all i want is to have my face buried between your legs. just a taste, baby, please.”

you shook your head.

“just a taste is gonna turn into you eating me out for hours,” you said.

“and what’s wrong with that?” he pouted.

“you need to be sleeping and getting better,” you told him.

he leaned forward in your shared bed to get closer to you, who was sitting at the foot of the bed. he placed his hand on your thigh, tilting his head to the side.

“your pussy will make me better,” he said softly.

you placed your hand on top of his, looking into his pleading eyes. he was still so handsome, even as sick as he was. you were tempted, you had to admit.

“i don’t know, jake,” you said.

“please, baby,” he begged you, practically on the verge of tears. “i’ll make you feel so good, i promise.”

his pink cheeks, his swollen lips, his teary eyes, you just couldn’t say no to him.

plus, he said it would help him feel better, so how could you argue with that?

“fine,” you gave in. “lay back.”

jake bit his lip to prevent himself from smiling in victory. his eyes lit up when you agreed and he immediately complied, lying back down on his back.

you crawled up the bed until you made it to his abdomen. you planted your knees on either side of him and hovered over his body, second guessing whether you should actually do this.

“are you sure, jake?” you sighed.

jake’s face flashed with terror at the mere idea of you changing your mind. his eyebrows furrowed together in worry.

“i’m sure,” he insisted. “please, i need it. it’s my medicine.”

for whatever reason, his words turned you on. calling your pussy his medicine was all you needed to hear to shuffle your shorts down your legs, leaving you bare and exposed to him.

he licked his lips and watched you closely as you crawled up the remainder of his body until landing by his face. you hovered above him, sighing at the sight of him underneath you.

“sit,” he urged, beyond eager to get his tongue inside you.

“stop me if you can’t breathe,” you warned, knowing his nose was stuffed and his mouth would be occupied.

he didn’t say anything, just grabbed your hips and pulled you down so you were actually sitting on his face.

a surprised moan escaped your lips as jake immediately started licking your folds, gathering all your wetness on his tongue. he moaned, muffled, but the vibrations from it were extremely pleasurable.

you dug your hand in his mop of messy hair, legs already starting to tremble as he swiped his tongue up and down the length of your pussy.

you looked down and you could just tell he was in his most happy place. his eyes were closed, savoring the sensation of licking your pussy and tasting your sweet arousal. he was almost moaning as much as you were, certainly enjoying it as much as you, if not more.

you turned your head back and weren’t surprised at all by the sight of his hips thrusting up into the air, desperate for any kind of friction. his neglected cock was straining against his pajama pants, but you knew he wasn’t expecting you to touch him. he just wanted to eat you out, and that was enough for him.

“tastes so fucking good,” he said through an exhale, taking a second to catch his breath.

“are you doing okay?” you asked him, raising yourself off his face.

“more than okay,” he assured you. “i could do this all fucking night.”

he grabbed your hips and pulled you back down onto his face, going straight for your clit this time. he wrapped his lips around the bud and sucked on it softly, swallowing your taste.

you yelped, your legs clenching around his face.

“oh fuck, jake,” you cried out, your grip tightening in his hair.

he released his suction on your clit and went back to gliding his tongue up and down your pussy. he stopped at your hole and delved his tongue inside, letting out a broken moan at your tight walls around his tongue.

you found yourself slightly grinding on his face, subconsciously trying to rub your clit against his nose while he thrusted his tongue in and out of your hole. you knew he didn’t care. in fact, he loved it. he loved you humping his face in an attempt to increase the pleasure.

you sat up again, removing your pussy from his face. a string of your arousal mixed with his spit kept your pussy connected to his lips.

he looked up at you in confusion and even a slight hint of frustration as to why you just took away his treat—your pussy.

“why?” he asked urgently.

“your forehead is so warm, jakey,” you said, having brushed against it while you were tugging his hair.

it’d brought you back down to earth, reminding you that you were riding the face of someone who was not entirely up to health.

“i’m fine,” he said, annoyed. “i feel so good, please just come back. let me have it again.”

he was so, so desperate. you knew you should get off and let him get some sleep, but he wanted it so bad. so, you lowered your hips back down to his face and allowed him to lick up your pussy lips.

“fuck, thank you,” he moaned out, relieved to have your warm pussy back on his face. “i feel good, i promise. just need your pussy on me, baby, that’s all.”

you sighed in pleasure, leaning back slightly and starting to grind again. jake closed his eyes again, lapping and slurping at your pussy.

your stomach was warm and the knot would unravel soon, you were sure of it. he was so good at eating you out, you never lasted long.

“harder,” he urged, pulling you down on his face even more. “ride my face harder, baby.”

you whimpered, humping his face harder. your puffy clit hit the tip of his nose every time you fucked your hips forward. jake fucking loved it. he loved inhaling through his nose and smelling your sweet pussy, having it right there in front of him.

he loved you sitting on his face just as much as he loved laying on his stomach and eating you out regularly. he loved when you would just lose all control and ride his face like you were riding his cock. he loved to be used.

“fuck, jake,” you sobbed out. “i’m gonna fucking cum, oh my—don’t stop, please don’t stop. fuck, i’m cumming!”

you squealed as your orgasm washed over you. your legs tightened around his face and his tongue quickened, eating your pussy through your orgasm and lapping at the excess wetness dripping out of you. you fucked his face, letting all your weight sit on him because your brain was in too much of a fog to care.

“fuck,” jake moaned against you. “you’re so fucking hot, angel. wait! don’t get up.”

he gripped your waist, stopping you from climbing off his face.

“why? you should sleep now,” you said, catching your breath from your orgasm.

he shook his head, pulling you back down.

“need more,” he mumbled, lightly circling your clit with the tip of his tongue, going gentle as to not overstimulate you.

“no, jake,” you declined, however made no attempt to stop him.

“shh,” he shushed you, disregarding your words. “please, baby. i just need a little more and then i’ll be all better, promise.”

you whimpered as he rubbed his wet tongue on your drenched folds. he wrapped his arms around your thighs, basically keeping you trapped on his face.

“jake,” you whispered, pushing some stray strands of hair out of his forehead.

“so good,” he mumbled, flattening his tongue. “ride my tongue, baby. c’mon, i know you can do it.”

you started grinding back and forth on his tongue, head falling back at the sensation. his tongue was so warm and wet and felt euphoric as he laid it out for you to use, to rub your spent pussy on.

if jake was paying attention to his own cock, he’d realize how much pain he was in. he was so, so hard, and needed to be touched desperately. but he couldn’t. he just wanted your pussy and nothing else, not even oxygen.

“fuck,” you moaned. “feels so fucking good, jake. i think i’m gonna cum a lot.”

you didn’t know what you were saying. you were so fucked out and jake was too pussy drunk and sick to comprehend your words either.

you knew what you meant, but he didn’t.

you rubbed your pussy all over his face, getting your wetness all over his nose, his cheeks, and his chin. he started licking you again, moaning nonstop.

“i’m gonna—mm, jake! i’m cumming!”

it hit you a lot faster this time, so fast that you couldn’t even give him a proper warning.

you also couldn’t warn him as a stream of wetness shoots out of you. you were squirting all over his face and that was what did it for jake. that was what had him humping his hips up into the air one more time and cumming untouched in his pants.

he moaned, feeling sweaty and lightheaded as he felt your wetness all over his face. briefly, he thought he might pass out. even feeling so weak, he still ate you out through your second orgasm, drinking all the fluid you’d just released and moaning from how delicious it was.

he hummed, babbling nonsense because he was so far gone. you pulled yourself off his face, your pussy twitching from over sensitivity.

“baby,” he mumbled.

“yeah?” you retorted.

“i came,” he told you.

you frowned, looking down at his pants and noticing the stain of cum seeping through the fabric.

“but…” you trailed off. “you weren’t even touching yourself.”

“i know,” he said. “i think i’m just…really sensitive when i’m sick. but guess what?”

“what?” you asked, already starting to pull his pants down to help clean up.

“i was right about your pussy being medicine,” he informed. “i feel completely better.”

you laugh, shaking your head in dismay.

“you’re such a weirdo.”

this is FILTH. what i wouldn’t give to sit on jake’s face man.

thanks for reading!

#enhypen #kpop #kpop smut #enha smut #enha x reader #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #sim jake smut #jake sim smut #jake x reader #jake sim #sim jake #sim jake x reader #enhypen jake #jake smut

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salemlunaa · 2 months ago

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THE ACT OF SHIFTING CONSCIOUSNESS IS OWED TO YOU ❃

No matter what your aims are, shifting is for you and will always be easy.....

There are many things people can do with the void state/the state pure consciousness, and no matter what you are doing you need to know that shifting is owed to you. And in my asks and dms it’s made clear that a lot of you don’t know the different forms that shifting can come in

So before i get into it, Let’s get acquainted with the different ways you can utilise the void in terms of shifting!!…

Standard shifting

A person who will shift with the intention of coming back to where they are now aka their base or current reality. Being this person, you may have multiple drs you want to go to and will have “safe words” which can bring you back to your cr when you want

example: having a winx dr, having a kpop dr and a nepo baby dr at the same time, frequenting between each one, or which ever one is their “main” dr

Permashifting

A person who has one reality that they want to shift to, forever, perma-shifting= permanent shift, you can still have ties to your old reality and have memories from it but ultimately you can’t go back unless you tried to by shifting again, which wouldn’t be that much of a hassle because you still have some recollection of your old reality

example: Leaving your old reality while still having some recollection of the life you live before. You live this life recognising that you have shifted to get here and you are still somewhat tied to your old reality

Respawning

Being this person, you will have one reality that you live in forever. It’s kinda in the name, you reset, as soon as you shift consciousness to you desired life, it was always your life, you will cut ties with whoever you were before and live this way forever. A lot of people script a time stamp in which they forget everything, you will have pre prepared memories from birth up until the day the present day. You are expecting to live the rest of your life in this reality.

a smart example from a dm from one of my consenting mutuals: “I’ll shift there and it will be 02:00 I’ll be all excited about the fact that I shifted, have time to give my success story and bawl my eyes out from sheer happiness, and around 4 hours in (about 06:00 ) I will forget everything and fully cut ties with who I used to be and the life I used to live”

I want you to resonate with one and apply your knowledge where you need to because shifting consciousness is owed to you. Whether you’re doing it for a small while, going to multiple realities or one big shift of your consciousness cutting ties with where you were before. It doesn’t matter, it is owed to you and it is easier than breathing.

If you have a conscious mind, which yes you do or you wouldn’t be reading this, then you have a subconscious mind, and that means that shifting consciousness is a basic ability for you.

There is no such thing as something too big, one form of shifting isn’t “easier” or “harder” than another so whatever you wanna do, don’t be scared, you’ve got this!! There is a reason you’re here. Your subconscious mind knew you didn’t deserve all that you went through and all that you are going through and it led you here. Because of the horrible way humans have been conditioned, we live in a world where people mock shifting which is ironic , as it is a basic ability just like walking and talking, except it uses the mind and not the physical body. I want you to think of your desired reality/realities, whether you are thinking of 12 or 4 or 1, you need to understand that your desired life already exists, you already have it. It’s not a dream, you’re god, you give life to all that you touch with your mind.

I don’t think you really understand so I will say this again:

what you see: script + void/“I AM” state ➯ my dream life is finally real, me and my physical body are finally in my dream reality

you see yourself and some small part of some bigger process, when in fact, you are everything and everything is instant

what actually happens: i’ve created my dream life in my head ➯ as god i give life to everything my i touch with my mind, there for it is real

it’s an immediate chain of events, not a process. stop relying on the I AM state to give you something you already have, the void state helps you shift consciousness to a reality that is already there, and nothing more than that , it doesn’t create, you have already created. you have the power, the void is just a state of pure consciousness that helps you shift your awareness to which ever reality you wish to go to.

side note: As a respawner, all are welcome here, especially my fellow respawners and my permashifters (it’s nice to see both communities grow as i never used to see posts for permashifting or respawning)

no matter what you intend to do with the information you have learned on this app, your desired reality is yours, it was owed to you the second you thought of it

so stop doing nothing about the information you have, you don’t have to struggle in life, throw the teachings of society out the door and realise you can have all that you want, whether that be 1 dream life or 20!! LOCK IN MY LOVES

GET EXCITED ABOUT YOUR NEW LIFE/LIVES, ITS OWED TO YOU!! 🎆💋

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lovieku · 2 months ago

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ORDINARY THINGS ⋆ 정국

𐙚 ordinary things, as long as i’m with you.

after a lost match, jeongguk’s only source of comfort is you.

from the grande series ୨ৎ

pairings: soccer captain!jk x fem!reader

genre: fluff, established relationship

warnings: lower case intended, i wanna say that i know very little about soccer, even more about what goes on behind the scenes, but of course i had to put jeongguk in bellingham’s iconic holey socks hehe 😻, it’s a bit angsty at first just bc ggukkie is an angsty boy, but then all of it is just fluff really! hints at mental illness, heavy use of the pet name baby, they’re so funny i love them, theyre also horny! only mentions of sex tho, and sexy kisses and touches keke

word count: 6990

a/n: waaa omg i managed to keep this under 10k words who’s proud of me! this is so slow but im in love w their domestic dynamic 🙁

────୨ৎ────

the piercing whistle cuts through the air.

it marks the official end of the match, sealing the loss of your boyfriend’s team. the sound feels sharp, final, not only to the game.

you knew this was fairly important. it wasn’t too decisive on the team’s position in the ranking, but you knew it mattered to him. like every other game, regardless of stakes.

whether it was a friendly or a tournament, jeongguk had no other mode but all in.

that dedication shows in every tense line of his body now. the weight of defeat begins to sink in, and you can see it on his face, the way it affects him.

you can already sense what’s swirling around in his mind, behind the quiet exterior. you’re sure of it from how he still stands there, avoids his surroundings, keeps his eyes glued to the ground, the green field suddenly more captivating.

you don’t need words to know. he’s retreating inward, locking away his disappointment, and likely taking on more than just the burden of his own loss.

he’s probably thinking of his teammates, feeling like he let them down too. allowing it all to crash on him, the single outcome of this match unraveling everything he worked hard for.

his confidence shatters with the referee’s whistle, and it shuts down the noise of the crowd, makes him unresponsive to the comforting pats on his back from his friends. it’s all a distant hum to him now.

jeongguk is deliberately slow as he almost mechanically leads his exhausted self out the pitch, body moving without his mind’s consent.

he doesn’t care if it’ll take him forever to take these steps. if he’s the last one leaving. he just needs a moment to figure out his next move.

but can he? can he face his team without this ugly feeling gnawing at him? can he keep lying, tell them they did well, that they’ll do better next time, while his own mask suffocates him? is he even deserving of the captain title?

he doubts it, his legs moving as if the world has time to offer him, body struggling under the weight of a lifeless feeling creeping in.

your heart clenches painfully. from the sidelines, watching him like this breaks something in you.

you grip the hem of your tennis skirt, fingers twitching as you fight the crazed urge rising in your throat to just run to him.

it’s hard to find your breaths when witnessing your boyfriend destroying himself as if that’s the only treatment he thinks he’s deserving of. but you also know the last thing you want to do right now is to draw more attention to him when he’s so raw, vulnerable. when every eye in the stadium strips him bare.

and you just want to put his every piece back, cover him in warmth. your mind is made up when you abruptly stand up, hastily making your way toward the locker room before he can get there, offering polite smiles to the players who are already getting inside.

you settle outside the door, waiting.

jeongguk drags behind the others, eyes still casted down. he’s so absorbed in his escape, so lost in the act of avoidance, that you’re certain he won’t notice you, with your beating heart held out to him in your cold hands.

yet, he does find some sort of answer in the ground he keeps staring at, asking for solutions.

amidst the worn, muddied football boots, he spots your shoes. dr. martens platforms, the ones you pair with white socks that ruffle at the top.

the sight is enough to pull him out of his daze, and he looks up.

the door to the locker room closes behind the last player, the heavy thump echoing in the long hallway. it startles you, just as jeongguk’s sudden awareness startles him, and you search for some sort of stability in each other’s eyes.

his own are glossy with unshed tears, and they glisten under the harsh fluorescent light. it doesn’t help the way his vision gets blurrier and pulls you farther from him.

but he needs to see you— the comfort in your face, the one that he feels as though he can’t breathe without.

jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut, the tears slipping free, but the moment he flutters his eyelids open and meets you clearly, he doesn’t care.

his wide, tear-filled gaze takes you in. brows drawn up, your expression seems to mirror his. you’ve always absorbed people’s emotions to an almost extreme degree. when others cry, so do you. and when jeongguk cries, it feels like the whole world is falling apart.

but you can’t afford that happening, and you’ll hold its full weight on your shoulders to prevent such thing.

this time, you need to be stronger for him. swallowing the lump rising in your throat, you blink back your own tears and take a hesitant step toward him.

jeongguk, so much taller than you, seems to shrink before your eyes. right now, he’s the smallest, most fragile boy.

“baby,” your voice is a soft whisper, arms stretching open in a subtle invitation, one that he doesn’t need to be asked twice.

the moment you speak and break the quiet, the dam he’s been holding up crumbles. he crashes into you, hands wrapping tightly around your waist, his nose buried in the crook of your neck.

the impact makes you stumble slightly, but you hold him just as tight in return, focusing on his sharp breaths against your skin, wet with his tears, body trembling in your embrace.

your arms wrapped around his neck, you squeeze him hard, as if he’s a sponge that you’re trying to empty from all the dirty liquid. all the exhaustion, the anxiety, the guilt.

with the way he downright drops his full weight on you, you guide him to sit on the bench just outside the locker room. he slumps beside you, heavy and limp against you, seeking your warmth and comfort the way an addict seeks for the drug that’s able to keep them going.

you sit like that for a while, and you think it’s better this way. he has time to let it out against your chest, and you have the time that you need to compose yourself before you’re met with the full extent of his brokenness.

the second you see his tear stricken face, you think all of the effort was useless. you’re so, so weak.

jeongguk hiccups, lifts his face, his wide eyes flitting between yours like one would follow a tennis match at his peak point, searching for something, the smallest indicator of victory.

the tears make his cheeks red, and it adds to the frantic pleading he trips on, “b—baby, please. i don’t— i’m tired. wanna— home—“

“hey, gguk. ggukie, breathe,” you’re gentle when you cut him off, taking his face between your small palms to try and steady his panic, and mostly yourself. you’re fighting hard to not break too, to try and be the anchor he needs.

you take exaggerated deep breaths, hoping he’ll mirror you, and after a few moments his chest rises and falls in sync with yours, warm breath fanning over your lips.

imperceptibly, you feel his panic begin to ebb. his brows relax and his eyelids blink slower, regaining consciousness of his surroundings.

his hands reach up, covering yours as they rest at his jaw, squeezing them, and he exhales shakily, still not fully over his agitation, “i’m sorry. i wanna go home. i don’t— don’t wanna do interviews, don’t wanna see anyone. don’t wanna talk to coach. i just wanna be with you, please.”

his speech is hushed, pleading, his words slurred as if afraid you’re going to stop him, force him to go through the motions of what’s expected of him before he can beg further.

you brush his cheek with your thumb in a slow motion, moving him closer to you, your voice as careful as possible, “but, jeongguk… we can’t disappear without at least telling the others. coach will want you to answer—“

“please, love. please,” he cuts you, words trembling, “don’t make me go through this. i’m too weak now. i can’t.”

you’ve never seen jeongguk like this before.

it’s been over two years since he asked you to be his girlfriend. that night, he scored a goal for you. you knew it the moment the ball hit the net.

even with his teammates swarming him in celebration, his eyes searched for yours, locking on the moment he found you in the stands.

wrapped in your wool scarf, your face almost fully hidden, the way your eyes turned into crescents and your cheekbones so prominent was unmistakable.

the smile that you shared was sheepish, but brimming with meaning. carrying all those emotions you had both been tiptoeing around for so long.

for a while, your feelings had been caught in a slow dance, never fully picking up, but nonetheless comfortable with the motion.

jeongguk always found a reason to have you near, inviting you to practices and matches, because only your presence could give him the strength needed. and you always found a reason to show up.

even more when you easily fell into the routine that followed every encounter, evenings spent at your apartment, on your couch.

it was a schedule you soon came to love, with him making you laugh, an arm draped over your shoulder, your leg casually resting across his lap. the movies you would put on would quickly become background noise as his playful jokes turned into shared glances, quiet giggles, and stolen kisses.

kisses that felt like the ones teenagers share when they’re crushing on someone for the very first time.

kisses that didn’t evolve into anything more until that night, when he scored for you. it was unashamedly sweet, the feeling he gave you.

back at his flat, his face lit up with a grin so big it was infectious. the rush of adrenaline from winning the game and the joy of finally making you his girlfriend radiated from him.

it’s a stark contrast to his expression, now. it’s drawn with helplessness, clouded with a desperation that makes you ache.

he looks tired of fighting, of holding it all together. and it’s not just that— there’s a deep yearning, a frantic search, a needy plea to be understood, to be seen by you.

there’s nothing that truly comes more innately to you. it’s second nature, caring for him. knowing him. looking after him. tending to his physical and emotional scars. and you don’t want him to scrape his skin further.

you try to reason, “what— what about your things, don’t you at least want to—“

“i’ll ask taehyung to take my bag with him or something,” for the state he’s currently in, he still looks willing to do anything if it means getting out of here. and so, he begs again, “please. can we go home?”

you know you can’t say no to him. that’s not something that comes as good to you. not in your nature.

“this is not the way to your house.”

still in his soccer jersey, the uniform’s shorts touching his knees and holey socks high up his calves, muddy boots hurting his feet, jeongguk sits quietly next to you in the backseat of his car.

his chauffeur drives steadily, away from the hurt, and each mile puts more distance between jeongguk and the weight of the loss, the field, the pressure. he feels himself leave fragments of disappointment behind, back there.

it’s been a long time since it was just the two of you in his car. jeongguk would be the one driving, his left hand steady on the wheel, the right one always reaching for yours, a quiet confirmation of his love.

now, someone else takes care of the driving, especially after games, or in moments like these when jeongguk’s mind and body are too exhausted to handle anything more.

ever since the goal that changed everything between you two, jeongguk’s life took off. a big team recognized his potential and signed him, a moment that marked his breakthrough as pro in the football world.

then, it became a whirlwind. constant games, media attention, opportunities flooding in, and money pouring from every direction.

he bought a house — a mansion, really, — just outside the city, the kind of place he dreamed of as a small kid with big ambitions. everything about it is luxurious, grand, all jeongguk thought he wanted.

but there’s been something left behind, back in the quieter days when he was just a young player fighting for his place on this planet.

you met him before the fame, before his name was on the backs of jerseys and his face on billboards. you fell in love with the boyish version of him, the one who lived in a cramped flat, working tirelessly to make a name for himself.

you’ve been there through every step, enough to recognize the struggle in his eyes.

you so easily catch that flicker of awareness in him. the jolting confirmation that all of this is real, his orbs trembling. and when it hits, he retreats into himself, lets anxiety creep in.

he may not voice it, but you know the root of it. the fear of losing himself, of becoming someone else, of forgetting the version of him that’s grounded in simplicity and love.

jeongguk fears intertwining himself with what he always wanted will inevitably erase what he’s always been, the son of hardworking parents in busan, raised on sacrifice and dreams.

what he always had with you. quiet, uncomplicated. happy with the ordinary things, eating ramen on the floor of his tiny apartment, driving around just to talk about anything and nothing, reading quietly next to each other in the cafè you’ve introduced him to, your presence a comfort to him long before he realized he loved you as more than a friend.

jeongguk wants to hold onto that simplicity, and he wants you to be part of that. he wants you to stay by his side, to be the reminder of who he is beneath all the noise. what he wants to keep being.

because you’re his constant, unwavering, never changing. you’ve never needed him to be more than who he already is. you never look at him with the kind of judgment or disappointment that seems to follow him after every missed opportunity. there’s no pressure, no expectations of success.

in your eyes, he is just jeongguk— the same boy that approached you with a bad pun only to clumsily blame it on his drink. the one you built a familiar rhythm with, ordinariness always just enough for you. for the two of you, together.

you don’t need mansions, fancy restaurants, designer clothes. you don’t need grandeur. you’ll stay the way it’s always been, and the way you both want it to stay.

he quickly scans your face, letting your words register. your brows are furrowed slightly, pouty lips parted as if you’re about to tell the driver that he’s going the wrong way, headed somewhere other than the house he now calls home.

before you can speak, jeongguk interrupts you, his voice soft and suddenly self aware, “oh, i— sorry, i gave directions to your apartment. i just really wanted to be there with you.”

you blink at his fragile honesty. he had begged to be home, and now here you were, on the way to your own.

warmth spreads through you, and you can’t help but break into a big smile, one that eases the tension in his forehead, and mirrors softly in the grin that tugs at his pierced lips.

leaning in, you place a peck on his cheek, “it’s okay, baby. i’ve got so many of your clothes in my closet, there won’t be a problem.”

his low chuckle is comforting, and he scrunches his nose in that familiar way, shuffling closer to nuzzle into your shoulder. for a moment, the world outside fades. you’re hopeful as you think you can feel the weight on his heart lifting.

looking up, a teasing smile spreads across his face, “i wonder why.”

his playful shift surprises you, though you try not to show it. you want him to feel normal, like there’s nothing you should keep being sad over. your brows raise ever so slightly before you roll your eyes in mock exasperation, the fond amusement clear on your features.

it’s enough for jeongguk’s giggles to fill the car, an arm snaking around your waist, “it’s because you always steal my clothes.”

feigning shock, you gasp dramatically, swatting him lightly. he only laughs more, soft sounds bubbling up again, and you can feel love rushing through you, swarming frantically in your chest.

you play along with him, “no, it’s because you always leave your stuff behind after we— we…”

you trip on your words and pause when you realize what nearly slipped out, sheepishly averting your gaze to glance at the chauffeur, who seemingly looks too focused on the road to hear what you’re saying.

jeongguk’s eyes light up, his smile widening as his fingers teasingly pinch your sides, “after we what? say it, baby.”

you flinch at his ticklish touch, breaking into a grin and stubbornly shaking your head no. his laughter mingles with yours, bodies pressing tighter as he leans his weight into you, his nose brushing your jaw.

being this close to him, you inhale his scent. he still smells like adrenaline, mixed with exhaustion, sweat pearling his back. the feeling grounds you.

he hums lowly against your skin, his lips trailing wet pecks along your throat, “i miss doing that.”

your chuckle turns into a frenzied groan, and you steady yourself with your hands on his arm still squeezing around you, feeling your face heat up, “that was three days ago.”

”too long,” he mumbles, kisses slowly becoming more languid, savoring you.

when he pulls away from your neck, he doesn’t give you a moment to breathe before his lips find yours. the kiss is simple, sweet, but you can feel each beat of his pulse against your mouth.

you break the contact first, your hand slipping into his damp hair, gently brushing the long strands out of his eyes. you think out loud, admiring his perfectly framed face, “you need to cut these.”

but jeongguk isn’t currently interested in haircuts. he ignores your suggestion, his focus entirely on you, and his whispered words hold a kind of raw vulnerability, “i missed you.”

you hum, threading through his locks, “missed you too, my boy.”

that’s all he needs to close the gap between you again. this time, his kiss is more intent, deeper, as if trying to communicate what words can’t. his hands pull you closer, your chest arching into him, and in between the wet sounds of your lips meeting he lets a moan escape him.

you’re quick to swallow it, your own quiet noises vibrating against him before you put distance once again, softly tugging at his hair and finding his eyes lovingly, “let’s get home first, yeah?”

but he protests, a childlike groan reverberating in his throat, eyelids fluttering shut as he basks in the feeling of you against his lips. he attacks your cheeks next, trailing down, and down, and down, kissing you through your shirt.

then, it’s his fingers touching you under it, hand traveling up and kneading your breasts through your bra, only to slide around to trace the curve of your spine.

the sudden contact is overwhelmingly pleasuring, head thrown back on the headrest as quiet whimpers leave you. jeongguk is as hungry as ever, seeking for proximity no matter your bodies already molding with one another, his teeth scraping against your most sensitive spots, almost digging, eating, tasting.

and you want to let go, allow him to give you every last thing he’s holding onto, be selfish and take it all for yourself.

but you can’t when you know this is just another one of his escapes. he’s using this moment to drown out the chaos in his mind, to run from his pain, to bury his burdens and get high on a dopamine rush.

“baby, wait—“ in between gasps, you manage to get your voice out, but its whisper doesn’t seem to reach jeongguk’s ears, his long digits boring holes in the flesh of your bare thighs, prickling with goosebumps at his feverish touch.

in your own daze, you carefully take a hold of his face in your palms, lifting him up from the devoting motion of his lips on the edge of your shoulder, and the look in his eyes is hazed, inhebriated on the the burning of your skin under him, but it’s tinged with desperation.

behind his orbs there’s no other thought but to chase you, his only refuge, and your sweet smile only aggravates his crazed desire, trying to catch your mouth with his before you open it to speak, “i don’t want us to do this while you— you’re still mentally fragile.”

your worry is laced with love, it’s clear from the way it spills out of you, seeps from your delicate touch on his cheeks. but jeongguk’s eyes still widen in shock and shame, orbs shaking with panic.

his brows furrow in an attempt to conceal his turbulent emotions, but the city lights continuously flashing through the car windows only accentuate the glistening under his eyelids. he stammers, “i— i’m not— i’m… please. don’t reject me.”

the plea is shaky, and it makes your pulse race with agitation, fingers grasping his jaw with more intent as you’re quicker on your words than your own thoughts, “oh, honey, i’m not. look at me, please,” the way he flickers his gaze down only makes more panic flood in your veins, and you frantically search for him.

you manage to sound stable, whispered words fanning over his lips, “i just want what’s best for you, okay? do you trust me?”

he seems to lean into your touch, looking up at you through his lashes, brows still betraying him with the way they’re drawn up in sorrow. he hums in agreement.

you smile reassuringly, “perfect. then, i’ll tell you what we’re gonna do, hm?” when he nods, you continue, brushing his hair back through your calm words, “we get to my flat. take a hot shower. i make us something warm to eat. and then, if you still want to, i’m all yours. in our bed. sound good?”

our bed. the flicker in your boyfriend’s face doesn’t go missed. it’s fond, it softens his eyes, and it rushes down to his lips, struggling not to break into a grin. he pouts to hide it, and you can see he’s still ashamed by his earlier rush, his response muffled, “okay. i love you. i’m sorry.”

you coo, pulling his head to rest on your chest, drawing comforting strokes along his damp back, “i love you more. you did nothing wrong, baby.”

the both of you stay like that for a while. his cheek is squished against your breasts, lips parting to release quiet huffs, and your soothing motions run down his arm.

the quiet moment is interrupted by jeongguk’s phone ringing once again, loud and persisent, for the nth time in less than half a hour. he doesn’t even glance at the device when declining the call, and you catch the name flashing before the screen goes black.

it’s his coach calling. you stay quiet as he shuts off his phone completely, tossing it onto the empty seat next to him.

only a few moments pass before he looks up at you, his expression hesitant, a timid smile trying to mask the uncertainty in his eyes. you return his gaze with quiet confidence, nodding subtly, letting him know that you’re here with him— no matter what.

right now, all that matters is that jeongguk feels safe in your arms. you don’t care about the consequences he might face tomorrow. you’ll be there for him, just as you are now, when he needs you the most.

the moment you both step in your apartment, shoes messily discarded at the entrance (you’ll make sure to take care of his boots later), he trails after you like a lost puppy. he becomes your shadow, mirroring your every step with big eyes and a natural pout.

“take your uniform off, baby,” you gently instruct him while letting the water run from the shower head, adjusting the temperature until it’s hot enough for the both of you.

he slumps over on the toilet lid, eyes never leaving you as you move around the bathroom. when he lets them travel down your figure, a low groan escapes him.

you look so good in your skirt, the high socks triggering a weird, primal instinct in him, stirring dark fantasies that have him wishing you’d let him take you right there on the sink.

but he knows better than to mess with the plan you set earlier in his car for the both of you to enjoy the night, so he only allows himself to play with you a little, “can you do it for me? i’m tired.”

he really does seem tired, the exhaustion visible from the way his hands tremble slightly and his eyelids drop, but the look only adds to the lazy smirk spreading on his pierced lips. he knows what he’s truly asking for.

you narrow your gaze at him only to roll your eyes when he doesn’t look like he’s going to surrender any soon, grin only widening, and you pull him up by the jersey.

he complies, brows wiggling in teasing disobedience, looking down at you from his taller stance, “woah, commanding. i like it.”

“shut up,” you only murmur as you hastily strip off his sweaty uniform, throwing it right in the laundry bin. you leave him in his high socks and boxers, smacking his round ass playfully, “take these off yourself, mister.”

he’s ready to protest, to demand your touch back on him, but you shoot him a look with your raised eyebrows, “ah-ah. c’mon, and get in the shower, i’ll bring your change.”

before he can respond, you leave the bathroom. he whines childishly, slipping off his underwear along with the uncomfortable socks, adding them to the pile in the basket under the sink. he yells over the sound of running water, “you’re coming too, right?”

“yes!” you quickly call out from the bedroom, voice raised to reach him over the distance.

you know how difficult your boyfriend can be— if he hasn’t come to drag you in yet, you’re at least hoping he’s taken off the rest of his clothes. you foolishly hope he’s already in the shower, though the chances are slim if he’s not completely sure you’ll be joining him.

that’s why you move fast, grabbing his change of clothes from the drawer where you keep all his left-behind things. in your rush, you take one of his oversized t-shirt and a pair of boxers for yourself, too.

when you return to the bathroom, you’re not surprised to find jeongguk standing in the middle of it, bare and waiting for you. his eyes light up when he sees you, taking the clothes from your hold and placing them on the counter, “i was about to come and get you.”

you scoff lightly, trying to fight the smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, but it’s no use. especially when he reaches out to pull you closer, fingers working at the zip of your skirt and sliding it off with ease, his own grin warm on his expression.

you gently push him toward the shower, pretending to scold him, “i can do this myself, thank you. now get in, silly.”

with a disappointed, and very adorable huff, he finally obeys, stepping under the hot steam of water. you can tell by the subtle way his shoulder relax that the heat soothes him, but the tension doesn’t completely ease from his muscles.

he tracks your movements attentively, taking in the way you strip yourself completely bare, and only when you step in the small cabin and close the sliding window door behind you he sighs in relief.

jeongguk engulfs you immediately, positioning you both directly under the cascade of water. it blurs your vision slightly, your bangs flattening on your forehead.

you push them out of the way, your hands then finding his own hair to slick it back, allowing you to see the fondness in his eyes clearly.

you look up at him through wet lashes, chin placed on his toned chest, and his own is dipped low to meet your gaze, take in the smile spreading and making your dimples show.

it grows bigger when he sheepishly scrunches his nose, the love seeping from your orbs suddenly overwhelming, and you press a gentle kiss to his adam’s apple before pulling yourself away, voice a whisper, “let me take care of you.”

jeongguk doesn’t argue, complying when you ask to hand you his shampoo. you’d originally bought it as a joke during one of your grocery runs together, picking it off the shelf with a laugh and pointing out the label— johnson’s baby shampoo, made with honey and wheat extracts, and on sale too. you’d exclaimed how it was so jeongguk, and he’d let you try it on him as soon as you got home.

the joke had stuck, and to your surprise, he ended up liking it more than you did. now, it was the only shampoo you used on him whenever he stayed at your place, a small tradition between the two of you.

as you work it into his damp hair, jeongguk’s eyelids flutter shut. he eases into your touch, body going loose as your fingers massage his scalp with the perfect amount of pressure, the kind that always seems to make him melt, the one that could immediately put him to sleep.

you wash it off and repeat the motion once more, taking your time. only when his hair is thoroughly cleaned do you reach for your vanilla body wash, moving on to carefully lather it over his skin.

tracing every line of his body, you watch the way he softens more with your touch, unconsciously swaying closer.

you’re slow, deliberate in your motions, letting your hands run over his shoulders, down his arms, across his chest. his skin is warm and slick under your palms, and every now and then he lets out a contented sigh.

the sounds get fuller when you finally reach his back. you press a little harder, working out the knots you can feel lingering there. he groans softly, his head falling forward slightly, droplets of water dripping from his hair onto your face.

“feel good?” you ask quietly, your voice barely audible over the sound of the water.

he nods, his voice low and drowsy. “yeah, feels amazing.”

his moans grow unrestrainedly louder, eyes rolling back, and you would tease him for it if the sight of him like this wasn’t having its own effect on you.

biting your lip, you press your fingers deeper into his muscles, and suddenly his hands grip your waist, tight enough to startle you.

it has your mouth opening unconsciously, brows furrowed at the sensitivity. you almost give in when his palms slip further down, resting on the curve of your ass, and for a moment you consider the temptation, but the triumphant smirk on his face immediately pulls you out of your daze. your own fingers work to move his hands to rest at your shoulders.

you manage to sound stable, but you can feel the slight shake in your voice, “hands up here, mister.”

“oh, c’mon,” he has the audacity to whine, the sound muffled by his pouty, and so inviting lips.

you almost cave at the sight of him, his eyes wide and pleading. but you know better. if you let him push the boundaries now, things won’t stop here, and the careful rhythm you’ve set will be forgotten.

it’s not just him you’re trying to hold back— it’s yourself too, especially when his gaze almost breaks through your resolve.

you shake your head, trying to gather your composure, suddenly turning off the water and sliding the shower door open.

jeongguk groans in protest at the contrasting cold air hitting his skin, but you promptly step out to reach for your bathrobe and wrap it around him.

pout stubborn on his lips, he follows you out the shower, but instead of arguing further, he surprises you by engulfing you both in the same robe, pressing his chest against your back.

his arms circle you, and he starts rubbing the spongy material of his sleeves against your body, trying to dry you both at once.

you snort, amused by his antics, “what are you doing?”

“i’m drying us.”

“this will take us forever—”

“no, see? i’m already done,” with ease, he slips out of the robe, laying it over your shoulders and tying the belt snugly around you.

then he casually walks over to grab his change of clothes, pulling the t-shirt over his head despite the fact that his hair is still dripping with water.

you roll your eyes at the sight of it soaking into the fabric and gently push him to sit on the toilet lid, “don’t move. you’re still wet, god.”

“that’s what she said,” he wiggles his brows, eyes gleaming with immature delight as he grins mischeviously.

you sigh, struggling not to laugh at his pun. instead, you wordlessly grab the hairdryer and start running it through his damp locks.

he obediently leans into you, closing his eyes and resting his head against your chest as your fingers run along his hair. the warmth from the device makes him nuzzle even closer, his posture fully relaxed between your legs.

once his hair is dry and his clothes no longer clinging to his skin, you finally shut off the hairdryer, giving his now fluffy locks a final pat.

the time it took to dry jeongguk allowed the bathrobe to work its magic on you too. you quickly slip into his boxers and one of his many stussy t-shirts you picked randomly, tying a towel around your hair.

you prepare to head out of the bathroom, but before you can his hand gently stops you, gripping your forearm, suddenly towering over you when he stands up, “where are you going?”

“to make us dinner.”

“i’ll do it. you should dry your hair, or else you’ll get a headache.”

“but—”

“no but. you already did enough, baby. i’m okay, i swear,” his voice softens, and the fond look in his eyes makes it clear he won’t let you argue further. he doesn’t even let you respond, stepping out of the room and heading to the kitchen.

a smile tugs at your lips, and you take a deep breath, the comforting scent of vanilla and honey still lingering after he leaves.

you’ve always appreciated jeongguk’s attention to detail. he knows how long it takes you to care for your thick, long hair and also remembers the countless nights you complained about your head hurting from leaving it damp. he always listens, even to the smallest things.

twenty minutes later, you’re warm and dry, stepping into the kitchen where the delicious smell of soup greets you. jeongguk is behind the stove, stirring a pot and softly whistling as he tends to another pan on the burner.

when he notices you, his eyes brighten, trailing over your legs and the way his t-shirt sits just above your thighs, revealing glimpses of his boxers. as you approach, he grins, “what’s a pretty woman like you doing here, alone?”

you’ve been with him long enough to know this is just the start of one of his playful roleplays, so of course you instantly know your line, “i have a boyfriend, actually.”

“oh, really? is he here too? can he fight?” his voice drops lower with every step you take towards him, with the last words coming out as a growl as you stand in front of him, looking up into his eyes.

you snort, “you’re so dumb.”

he stays in character, raising his eyebrows, “no, tell me. can he?”

you hum thoughtfully, pursuing your lips as you pretend to consider, your eyes wandering before settling on his again, “yes. he’ll break your nose.”

he chuckles, feigning surprise, “god, he sounds tough.”

“he is.”

with an arm snaking around your waist, he pulls you closer, his lips brushing your ear, nose tickling your lobe, and he whispers, “but i just want you so bad, young lady. don’t tell him, hm?”

his mouth is on yours next, molding together in a sickeningly sweet, lingering kiss, and you let him find your tongue with his own, your front arching against his.

with your arms wrapped around his neck, you part slightly, your eyes jumping on every corner of his face. your voice is thick with pure love, “do you feel better, big boy?”

jeongguk smiles, presses it against your forehead, “so much better, thanks to you. i love you.”

“i love you more,” you momentarily lose yourself in his expression, and you have to blink harshly to pull yourself out of the daze before you fall too deeply into your emotions and start waxing poetic, letting your heart run as wild as the love in your veins.

you move from his hold, busying yourself with setting the small table in your kitchen, grabbing the usual pink glass for yourself and the yellow one for him.

he chose them himself a long ago, said pink reminded him of the way you blushed at his every action, and the yellow symbolized a sunflower always turning toward its sun, because, “that’s how i’ve felt ever since i met you.”

as you arrange the glasses, you almost forget what you were about to ask, but the faint ring of your phone from the bedroom reminds you, “is your phone still off? coach has been calling me.”

his brows knit slightly, betraying his otherwise calm demeanor, but he doesn't meet your eyes, focusing instead on plating the soup. “can we— not talk about it? just for tonight?”

a small gasp escapes you at his quiet plea, and you rush to his side to help him, taking the plates from him and placing them gently on the table, your words hushed, “of course, baby. i was just worried you might want to hear from him. i don’t care about all of that, i only care about you.”

a sheepish smile breaks through his composure, his front teeth worrying at his lip piercing. he looks up at you, lets himself be coddled by the warmth of your gaze, and he sounds just as timid as he looks, “hm. that’s what i wanted to hear.”

you shake your head fondly at his vulnerable side, motioning for him to sit with you, “silly. come, let’s eat, and then we can get some sleep.”

even after swallowing the burning soup, jeongguk still finds a way to tease, nudging your foot under the table with a mischievous grin.

"you’re not getting any sleep tonight," he quips, his voice low with playful intent. you roll your eyes and kick him lightly, making him yelp in exaggerated shock.

it becomes a game of back and forth, his dirty jokes pushing boundaries just enough to make you question if he’s actually serious. there’s a part of you that selfishly hopes he means it, but the side of you that knows him inside and out knows better.

sex for jeongguk isn’t just a casual thing, especially after a night like this. for the two of you, intimacy is more than physical— it’s an act of devotion, a way to connect deeply when words can’t express everything.

it’s never about distraction or escape, but about grounding one another, the flicker of something real and tender at the core of it.

tucked under the covers, waiting for him after he convinced you he could handle the dishes himself — arguing that picking a movie was just as much work — you’re not surprised by what he says when he finally enters the room.

“baby… i think i’m happy with just cuddles for tonight. that okay with you?”

you break into a big grin, brimming with unspeakable feelings for the man standing at the foot of your bed, for which you spread your arms open, “of course, sweetheart. come here, you big child.”

he doesn’t need to be told twice, instantly burrowing himself against the warm sheets, intertwining his limbs with yours. he nestles his head on your chest, sighing contentedly as if he’s found the safest place, “i love you. have i said that already?”

“a million times. and i’m never sick of it.”

“say it back.”

you snort at the insistence in his tone, words muffled by the fabric of your shirt, and your fingers unconsciously play with his straight locks as you swing one of your legs around his waist, your voice a whisper above the shuffling, “i love you more.”

he tilts his head up, chin resting on the softness of your breasts, “no, you don’t.”

brushing his bangs away from his eyes, you smile fondly, “i do. believe me.”

he huffs in faux protest, narrowing his eyes. but he gives in as quickly as he tried to argue, his cheek settling back to rest just where your heart beats, its steady beat lulling him into calm along with your gentle strokes along his nape.

jeongguk doesn’t resist it, doesn’t fight your love. accepts it as the purest form of closure he can get for himself, “hm. okay. i love you.”

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peaktora · 10 months ago

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𝐂 𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘 ˚◞♡ ⃗ satoru gojo

𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 ┊ your husband is unbearably clingy.

𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 ┊0.9k words. no pronouns used or specified gender for the reader. intended lowercase. established relationship (#married).

a/n. — i’m warning u guys right now that this is not proofread 😭 .. i literally just typed this up rq and posted it bc it’s been too long since i’ve last posted something on here

p.s. the prompt was in my notes from a longgg time ago, but i believe it’s from @/creativepromptsforwriting .. if not please lmk !!

"c'mere, hold my hand," satoru pleads for what has to be the third time. he pouts at you, who’s sitting on the countertop.

your brows furrow as you look up from your phone, "but, you're washing the dishes?”

he twists the faucet handle, and a steady stream of water flows down. after a brief glance at you, he places the plate beneath the water and says, "i know how to multitask, baby."

clinginess is defined as “the tendency to stay near someone for emotional support, protection, ect.” but there has to be another term for what satoru is, because you can't give any of those things while holding his hand right now.

you let out a deep breath and turn off your phone, watching as the screen fades to black. "satoru, there's no way i'm sticking my hand in that dirty dishwater," you say, sliding your phone into your pocket.

he practically shoves the plate into the drying rack. "i can't believe this," he huffs. "we literally had vows."

“what are y—“

“we had vows that said you’d love me in sickness and in health.”

"well…are you sick?" you ask, crossing your arms across your chest.

he pauses his task of washing dishes, leaving them untouched. leaning over the sink, he rests his arms against its edge. he steals a furtive glance at you, only to find your gaze locked onto him. with a hint of hesitation, he softly mumbles, "no..." before you can respond, he interrupts, "but i’m in health, and the vows said that you have to love and cherish me in this state too."

you lean back, searching your mind for what the alternative of holding his hand would be. because in no world would you hold his hand in dishwasher. then, it hits you. "for now, would a hug make you feel better?"

he answers your question with a hum, and you can't believe he's debating whether or not to accept your offer after all that drama over holding hands in dishwater. even so, he adds, "i'll have to give it some thought."

two can play that game.

“it’s okay,” you say, gracefully hopping down from the counter. a smirk spreads across your face. “i could just go—sit on the couch?” slowly, you start to walk in his direction and make your way over to the living room.

he doesn’t say anything, letting you do as you please. it’s not until you start to pass by him, that you get the reaction you wanted.

or atleast, somewhat similar to what you wanted.

"on second thought—" he exclaims, and the dishwater swirls around him as he turns around, his hands still wet and dripping.

you cringe as small puddles gather on the tiles. "hey—" but he interrupts you as he reaches out to grab your wrist. “ew—I—what the hell?”

you instinctively try to pull back, but he slips his wet hand in yours; sealing your fate.

“satoru—”

“what happened to nicknames?”

“satoru.”

"’m not sure who that is. i go by a lot of names, but not that one. lets go down the list, yeah?” he clears his throat. “i go by "babe, baby, swe—"

"you should consider adding "gojo" to that list."

"now, when have you ever called me gojo?”

"right now, in exactly ten seconds.” your husband gasps, hanging his mouth open. “satoru go—"

“woah woah woah—what’d i do to deserve this treatment?”

“you put your dirty dishwater hand in mine.” you jerk your hand back, struggling to escape free of his grip.

his grip tightens on your hand, “if you’re feeling like not loving me today then just say that.”

“hey—don’t discredit me. i offered you a hug and you said you had to “think” about it.”

“cause holding your hand ‘s better.”

you sigh, “after you’re done with the dishes, you can hold my hand as long as you want.“

he lets out a soft, thoughtful hum—the same hum that got you both into this situation in the first place. at the same time you shake your head, a mischievous twinkle appears in his eyes, and a smile twists onto the edges of his lips. "deal" he says, shaking your hand. “but before-“

you tsk, making him drop his excuse.

“wh—“

"the quicker these dishes get done, the quicker you’ll be able to hold my hand. so get on with it—go," you playfully command, and his grip loosens in response. seizing the opportunity, you slide your hand out of his grasp. you look down at it, seeing bits of food that’ve stuck to your palm. gross.

you walk over to the sink, feeling the cool water flow over your hand, washing away the food and dirt that clung to your skin. as you stand there, you hear satoru's voice grumbling from behind, "i hate doing dishes,” and you can’t help but snort.

before you know it, you feel his presence close behind you, his body pressing against yours. his arms encircle you, creating a cozy pocket of space between the counter and his body. satoru leans over your shoulder, gets a sponge from the soapy water, and starts washing a bowl. you simply lean back and look at his features.

the sight almost makes you want to stay in his arms forever. that is, until you realize the predicament you're in.

“you did not,” you whine. you desperately try to break free from the cage he’s trapped you in, but your attempts prove more and more pointless.

"oh, yes, i did," he declares with a smile. “what did you say earlier?" he clears his throat before proceeding. "the faster these dishes are done, the sooner you'll be able to hold my hand," he says, mockingly imitating your tone. "so, the faster these dishes are done, the sooner you can leave and do anything you want."

you sulk and moan while you reluctantly grab a dish and a spare sponge from the sink. “i hate you.”

“i love you more.”

#(っˆ ³(ˊ ᵕ ˋก ) ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐀 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 ࿐ྂ #i have a essay due in a couple hours and i’m over here writing fics .. 😣#gojo x reader #gojo x reader fluff #gojo angst #gojo x you #gojo headcanons #gojo scenarios #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #jjk x you #jjk fluff #jujustu kaisen #jujustu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen headcanons

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pedrospatch · 5 months ago

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call it what it is

Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader

summary: A disagreement over patrol duty leads to declarations that have been long overdue.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. established relationship. HEFTY AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and joel is 56). ellie and joel are fine bc i said so and they deserve nothing less. reader handles a rifle, joel’s a little too overprotective and almost seems controlling, but i promise he is not. well, maybe just a smidge. arguing, admission of feelings, joel miller says i love you (yes this is ooc, no i do not care bc i need this old man to tell me he loves me). angst, fluff. quite a bit of side character interaction before we get to joel and reader in the second half. the only physical description of reader is that she is shorter than joel. fair warning, i am quite rusty.

word count: 4.2k

a/n: hi hello. i have not shared a wip in over 2 months. i was going back and forth on whether or not i wanted to share a fic with so much going on but decided i wanted to get back to doing what i enjoy. that and ofc that new footage was a boost of inspo. i am sending so, so much love to anyone who happens to see this author note, whether you read this fic or just happen to see this note in passing whilst scrolling. i know things have been tough, but i am here with you. <3

Joel wakes with a gentle start. Yawning, he rolls over from his side onto his back, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as warm, golden sunlight filters into the bedroom through the sheer, white linen curtains drawn over the window. He stares up at the ceiling, his breathing slow, steady, and even. He’s still getting used to it, it seems. Waking this calmly, with a tranquil peace he had been so certain he would never in his life feel again. He knew it couldn’t be a mere coincidence the nightmares had all but stopped tormenting him in his sleep when the two of you stopped doing that awkward little tap dance around one another and began sharing a bed, a home, a life.

No more bolting upright in sheer panic in the middle of the night, heart pounding and drenched head to toe in a cold sweat. No more believing he’s failing in his sleep. No more waking up feeling like he’s lost something.

Even his dreams about Sarah had become so, so much more pleasant. Images of her in that field on that night were replaced by different memories, like watching her teammates dogpile her after she’d scored the winning goal in their soccer tournament, or the big, triumphant grin she’d flashed him over her chocolate milkshake as the pair sat in their usual corner booth at their favorite fifties-themed diner in Austin—much to Joel’s surprise, Sarah had politely declined her teammates’ invitation for pizza once the match ended, choosing to celebrate her victory with him. Just the two of them.

“Y’sure you don’t wanna go with your friends, kiddo?” he’d asked, raising an eyebrow. He had been certain she was approaching the age where she would start spending less and less time with her old man. “I wouldn’t mind, y’know.”

“Positive,” she had reassured him with a smile, looping her arm through his and leading him off the pitch. “I’d much rather be with you, dad.”

Rather than smelling metallic in his slumber, he smells the grass that stained her white and blue striped jersey. Her cheeks are smeared with dirt, not with crimson.

Stifling another loud yawn, Joel stretches his arm out over towards your side of the bed, his calloused fingers seeking the warmth and softness of your naked body—instead, all they find are empty sheets, cold and long abandoned. He turns his head, and as suspected, you are not laying there beside him. That’s hardly out of the ordinary. Out of the two of you, you were the early riser, up before the neighbors’ rooster even had the chance to sound the alarm. Joel knows how much you treasure your quiet mornings lounging on the porch swing he’d built for you as you watched the sunrise with a hot cup of coffee in hand. He often made a genuine effort to get up and join you, but lately, his patrol rotations had been all over the place thanks to a shortage of patrolmen. He found himself sleeping in whenever he had the chance, seeing as he never knew when he might have to work a damn double. Or maybe it was just his age catching up with him.

He checks the time and then rolls out of bed, groaning when his sore knees and his aching lower back protest his movement.

After taking a quick shower using whatever hot water the kid had left for him after her own shower—much to his annoyance, it was not very much—Joel brushes his teeth and gets dressed for the day before pulling on his boots and heading downstairs into the kitchen where he finds the culprit responsible for the cold downpour he’d been forced to wash himself under. Ellie’s sitting at the table, absentmindedly stirring her oatmeal around her bowl with her spoon as she flips through one of her comic books. Just as he’s about to greet her, he spots the clean, empty coffee pot on the kitchen counter and frowns. You hadn’t even made coffee yet?

Now, that—that is out of the ordinary.

“Where is she?” he asks.

“Well, good morning to you too, old man. Oh, I slept great, thanks for asking,” Ellie quips without looking up at him as she flips the page. She mumbles something under her breath he doesn’t quite catch, something like, and you get on my ass about my manners?

Rolling his eyes, Joel snorts in response and pads over to the coffee maker on the counter. He spoons in some of the grounds he’d traded for earlier that week into the reusable filter, pours in water from the tap, and turns it on to brew. He grabs two ceramic mugs from the wire dish rack beside the sink and sets them down on the counter. “She out back?” he questions, yanking the refrigerator door open—he tries to remember the little things, like how you enjoyed your coffee with a bit of milk as well as a dash of cinnamon, if you had the rations, or something to trade for the precious spice. He always made sure that you did.

“Nope.” Ellie shovels a spoonful of oatmeal into her mouth and adds thickly, “She went to get some eggs.”

Joel shoots her a look of disgust over his shoulder. “Jesus, Ellie! How many times do I gotta tell you? Don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s bad manners,” he scolds her, shaking his head. He turns his attention back to the refrigerator. As he reaches for the glass bottle of milk, he pauses and his eyebrows pull together in confusion when he sees the wicker basket on the top shelf. “Wait a minute.” He feels her stiffen in her chair. “Why the hell would she go get eggs when we’ve got a full basket of ‘em right here in the fridge?”

She clears her throat. “Oh, uh, my bad. I got confused. Think she said she was gonna go get more honey? Uh, I used the last of it to make my breakfast this morning and she, uh—she wanted some for her toast. You know, ‘cause she really likes putting honey on her toast,” she rambles before piling more oatmeal into her mouth.

Closing the refrigerator door, he turns to her, his eyes narrowing with suspicion as uneasiness settles deep in the pit of his stomach. “Ellie?”

There’s a momentary pause. “...yeah?”

This time, Joel doesn’t bother to chastise the teenager for talking with her mouth full. “Where is she?”

Ellie nervously swallows her food and holds up both of her hands. “Hey, I already fucking told you, man.”

“Look, I know you like the back of my own hand, kiddo. And I know damn good and well when you’re lying to me.” Joel crosses his arms over his chest. “Now tell me the truth. What do you know that I don’t?”

Groaning, Ellie sits back in her chair. “Ugh. She made me swear not to tell you! She’ll fucking strangle me if I do—”

“Yeah, well, not if I fuckin’ strangle you first myself,” he threatens her. “M’Serious, Ellie. Tell me what’s going on. Right now.”

“Alright, alright! Jesus,” she huffs. “She’s with Tommy. He’s been taking her out of town to do target practice in the mornings, just the two of them. She usually gets back to the house before you get up,” she admits.

Joel’s arms fall back to his sides, his shoulders tense. “And how long has this been goin’ on?” he asks, rigidly. There’s a sudden tightness inside his chest, a feeling he hasn’t felt it in a while, but is still all too familiar to him.

After Tommy spread the word around town that more people were needed for patrol duties, you’d expressed an interest in the role, but Joel had been all too quick to shut you down, telling you he didn’t want you stepping foot outside the community’s gates.

“No,” he’d said. “Not happenin’. S’too dangerous.”

“But Joel—”

“I said,” he lowered his voice. “No.”

He hadn’t offered you an explanation as to why he was against it, refused to give you one good, solid reason as to why it was acceptable for him to risk his own life to protect Jackson, but it wasn’t acceptable for you to do the same.

Joel hadn’t known how to tell you the truth. How he needed you far, far more than you needed him, how the mere thought of losing you, the best fucking thing that could have possibly happened to him since the world ended, made him feel like his heart was going to stop.

A few weeks had passed since then, and thankfully, you never brought it up to him again. You had lost interest in patrol duty. Or so he’d thought.

“How long has this been going on?” he repeats after a minute.

“C’mon, man! Haven’t I already snitched enough?”

“Ellie,” Joel bites out her name. “Tell me. How long?”

She sighs in defeat. “Two weeks? Maybe three?” When she notices the muscle in his jaw tick, she grimaces. “You do realize why she didn’t fucking tell you, right?”

“Don’t,” he warns her, sharply.

“I’m just saying,” Ellie mutters, peering down into her bowl.

Without another word, Joel angrily storms past her and straight out the front door, snatching up his rifle on the way. He heads straight for the stables, trying to ignore the anxiety flaring inside of his chest.

Focus.

Now, breathe in. And breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe...

You exhale as you slowly squeeze the trigger.

Y’squeeze it like you love it, you had been told by your reluctant instructor.

The round fires off into the distance and you swiftly grab the bolt handle, bringing it up, back, forward, and then down again. You pull the trigger once more, then repeat and continue firing one shot after the other for a total of five rounds.

The rifle’s recoil nearly sends you flying backwards, but a strong hand on your back keeps you nice and steady. That same hand then moves to your shoulder and gives you three firm taps.

“Alright, alright! Christ,” Tommy laughs. He withdraws his arm from around you and shakes his head. “Fuckin’ calm down, Annie Oakley.”

Picking up his binoculars, he rises to his feet and looks through the lens at the makeshift targets that he’d set up for you, three empty soup cans lined up in a row on top of a wooden fence about twenty-five yards away—your longest shooting distance to date.

“Well?” You don’t even bother masking your impatience as you lower the rifle, carefully propping the weapon up against the tree stump you’re perched behind. Rubbing your sore shoulder, you hope the kickback won’t leave a bruise. You wouldn’t know how to explain that to Joel. “How did I do?”

His response comes in the form of a long, low whistle.

There is no telling if that had been good whistle, or if it had been a bad one. You groan. Now was not the time for him to dick around. “Please tell me I got at least one of them?”

“You got ‘em all, actually.” Tommy replies, lowering the binoculars and peering down at you. There’s a glimmer of pride in his eyes. “Good job, kid.”

Kid? Not exactly a nickname one wants to be called by the brother of the much, much older man that they are romantically involved with. It’d taken Tommy months to accept your relationship with Joel, especially when you moved your things out of your unit and into his over the summer. Part of you wonders if him referring to you as a kid is simply his own subtle way of telling you—no, of reminding you, that he’s still not comfortable with it.

And perhaps he never would be.

After all, you had still been a teenager when you first arrived to Jackson a few years ago, stumbling upon the town just a few months shy of the twentieth birthday you weren’t sure you would survive long enough to see.

You were indeed a kid when you’d met Tommy Miller.

Were.

Scowling up at him, you snap, “I told you to stop calling me that. I’m not nineteen anymore, Tommy.”

Having read your mind, he gives you a small smile and acknowledges, “Yeah, you’re right. You definitely ain’t a kid anymore.” He offers you his hand and hoists you up to your feet. Before dropping your hand, he gives it an apologetic squeeze.

You relax a little and smile back at him. “Did I really get all three?”

Tommy nods. “You sure did. You’re a damn good shot. I gotta be honest with you—I didn’t expect you to be this fuckin’ good,” he admits sheepishly.

Chuckling, you scoff, “Thanks. I think.”

“It’s a compliment, sugar.” He winks and flashes you a lopsided grin. “In fact, I’d say my work here is done.”

“Great! So when are you putting me on the roster?”

His grin instantly vanishes. “Uh, listen. About that....”

He trails off, and your heart sinks a little.

Tommy wouldn’t back out of this now—would he?

“Oh, no. Don’t you dare go back on your word, Miller,” you say, lightly poking him in the chest. “We had a deal. You said if I did well enough, you’d think about it.”

He nods in agreement. “Exactly. Said I’d think about it. And I think that puttin’ you on the roster for patrol ain’t a good idea.”

Your mouth falls open. If he never had any intention of holding up his end of the bargain, then what had been the point of teaching you how to shoot?

You didn’t understand.

“You just said it yourself, I’m a great shot! I’m a good on horseback, too. I’m stealthy. I’m diligent. What more do you fucking need from me, Tommy?”

Tommy’s chest heaves with a heavy sigh. “Joel would fuckin’ murder me with his bare hands if I even thought about puttin’ you on patrol duty. Hell, he’d murder me just knowin’ we’re out here and I’m teachin’ you how to shoot. It’s a damn fuckin’ miracle he still hasn’t caught onto this, y’know.”

Shocked, your eyebrows shoot to your hairline. “This is about Joel? Are you serious?”

“‘Course it is.” He pauses. “Listen, now I know the three of us had our—differences—when he first told me ‘bout you two. Still takin’ me a bit of gettin’ used to, but I can see he’s real serious about you. I know my brother, and I know he won’t risk losin’ what’s most important to him. Ain’t no way in hell. He doesn’t want you out here and you know that as well as I do.” Tommy shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, shrugging as he shuffles his weight from one cowboy boot to the other. “Unless he’s alright with it, I ain’t gonna put you on the roster.”

For a moment, you’re at a complete loss for words.

Upon seeing the crestfallen expression on your face, he makes a suggestion. “You can try talkin’ to him ‘bout it again if it means that much to you. Ask him—”

“Ask?” You want to laugh. You almost do. “I’m an adult, Tommy. I don’t need his permission to do this. Or to do anything for that matter. Joel doesn’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”

Tommy smiles wryly. “Well then, if that’s the case, why are we sneakin’ around and doin’ this behind his back?”

Your shoulders slump in defeat.

Because the ramifications could be disastrous.

Joel had made his stance on the matter abundantly clear, and yet here you were, deliberately disobeying him.

“Stumped you real good, didn’t I?”

Before you can even start to think about how you can possibly respond to that, you hear the sound of hooves in the dirt behind you, followed by whinny of a horse.

Tommy’s face pales as he glances over your shoulder.

“Shit.”

There’s no need for you to ask. His grimace says it all.

Somehow, you will yourself to turn around just as Joel’s steed comes to a halt beside the mare you and Tommy had ridden out on together. He jumps out of the saddle, grunting at the forceful impact on his knees when his feet hit the ground. His rifle hangs from a worn, brown leather strap slung across his back.

He approaches the two of you looking absolutely livid, and your throat goes dry.

“The hell is goin’ on here?” He breezes right past you, roughly shoving his brother with both hands. “Why the fuck would you bring her out here, Tommy? What the fuck is the matter with you?”

“Joel, c’mon. Take it easy—”

“Don’t fuckin’ tell me to take it easy!”

“Joel!” You reach for his arm. “Wait, it’s not his fault!”

Joel shoves him again, then takes him by the collar of his shirt and pins him against the ponderosa pine tree behind him. “You’ve been bringin’ her outside the gates behind my fuckin’ back for weeks, asshole?”

The panic begins to set in—he’s taking his anger out on the wrong person, and deep down, he knows this too.

“Joel! Stop! Let him go!” Grabbing fistfuls of his jacket, you try pulling him off of the younger man. “Stop it! It’s not his fault! I asked Tommy to bring me out here!”

He whirls around, his nostrils flared, jaw clenched.

You’ve seen this side of him a handful of times before.

But his anger has never been directed at you.

“What?”

Immediately, you let go of him and take a step back. “I asked Tommy to bring me out here and teach me how to shoot so that I can start working patrol,” you explain, hoping, praying, he doesn’t catch the slight tremble in your voice. “This was all my idea, okay? If you’re going to be mad at someone, then be mad at me. Not at him.”

“So you did this after I fuckin’ told you I didn’t want you out here?” Joel seethes. His neck becomes flushed, his tan skin now a deep shade of red.

“Joel—”

He cuts you off. “I had to find out from Ellie? You tried to get her to fuckin’ lie to me? After all the work it took for me and her to—” Stopping mid sentence, he places his hands on his hips and shakes his head.

“Joel. Please.” Behind the anger in his dark brown eyes, you detect something else. A mingle of hurt, concern—fear?

Tommy awkwardly clears his throat. “Well I’m, uh—I’m gonna head back to town,” he says, touching a hand to the back of his neck. “I’ll let the two of you work things out in private.” As he passes Joel, he lightly claps him on the shoulder. “Girl’s a sharp shooter, big brother. I’d reckon she’s almost better than you.”

His effort to lighten the mood fails. Miserably.

Offering you a subtle nod of encouragement, Tommy hops into the saddle of his mare and takes off towards the commune.

Silence falls over the both of you. It feels suffocating.

Unfamiliar.

Finally, you speak. “Joel, please just hear me out—”

“What the hell were you thinkin’? Or were you just not thinkin’ at all?”

“I was thinking I want to pull my weight in Jackson.”

“You already have a fuckin’ job,” Joel reminds you.

“Making sandwiches and serving whiskey at The Tipsy Bison?” You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. “I am capable of more than that, Joel. So much more. Don’t you believe I’m capable of doing more?”

“I don’t want you out here,” he grits through his teeth. “Capable or not, I don’t want you outside Jackson’s walls. I don’t want you on patrol and that’s fuckin’ final. You understand me?” Now it’s him who falters, and you wonder if you’re imagining things, or if that’s really a tear you see sliding down the side of his face, disappearing into the salt and pepper scruff of his beard.

“That’s not your decision to make, Joel. It’s mine.”

“M’responsible for you. It’s my job to look after you—to protect you.”

Something about the way he is looking at you, it feels like a punch to the gut, and it’s at that precise moment when you begin to realize that he’s not angry. He’s afraid.

“Joel, I know that all you want to do is protect me,” you sigh, letting your arms fall down to your sides. “I know you do. But you’re doing me no favors by trying to keep me sheltered. By treating me like I’m defenseless. Don’t forget, I’m a survivor too.”

“You already know how fuckin’ dangerous it is out here. Clickers, raiders—”

“I can handle it,” you insist, stubbornly.

“You’d be puttin’ yourself right in harm’s way!”

You shoot back, “You mean, the way you and so many other people put yourselves in harm’s way every single day for the sake of keeping Jackson safe?”

A frustrated growl rumbles through his chest. “Christ, why are you bein’ so fuckin’ foolish? You’re just askin’ to get yourself killed!”

“I can take care of myself!” You realize your hands are shaking and curl them into tight fists at your sides in an effort to hide it. “Just accept it, Joel! Accept that I can take care of myself, alright?”

That is all it takes to tip Joel over the edge he’s been teetering on. “Then what do you fuckin’ need me for?” he shouts, his voice thundering over the quiet plains of Wyoming. “If you can take care of yourself, what’s the point in us bein’ together? Why are you with me?”

“Because I love you!”

As soon as the confession comes tumbling out of your mouth, you take a step back, your wide eyes meeting his own. Until now, neither of you have ever called this what it is, been bold enough to say it’s love.

Loving after so much grief, so much loss, is daunting. It’s something you thought you would never be capable of doing again, not in this lifetime. Not in this world. It’s happened, though.

You love Joel Miller.

And he loves you.

He’s never told you he does, but he’s shown you.

From the way remembers how you take your coffee in the mornings, to the way he laces his fingers with your own, holding your hand when he’s buried inside of you, whispering sweet nothings into your collarbone every single night.

“You—you what?” Joel’s whisper is hardly audible.

You inch your way closer to him, your voice soft. “I love you,” you declare once more. “I’m not with you because of what you can do for me. I’m not with you because you can take care of me.” Closer. “I’m with you because I love you—because I’m in love with you, Joel.” Closer, until your chest brushes against his, and he can smell the subtle scent of your homemade, rosewater soap. “The only thing I need, and have ever needed from you, is your love in return.”

His throat bobs. Before you can utter another word, he lifts his hands and gently takes your face, cradling it in between his large palms, gently. His eyes search yours, immediately finding the sincerity behind your words. Leaning down, he brushes the tip of nose against your own as one of his hands travels down, his long fingers curling around the nape of your neck. His thumb lightly strokes the column of your throat.

“I love you,” Joel says hoarsely. Three words he hadn’t said to anyone in over two decades—it feels foreign to him, they ring strange in his own ears. He tries it again, clearer this time, and with a little more confidence. After all, he’s only saying what he has known from the very start. “I love you.” His other hand moves to your hip, pulling you even closer to him. “M’gonna love you for the rest of my life, baby.”

He leans in further and presses his lips to yours lightly, at first, but he wastes no time in sweeping his tongue across your bottom lip, silently asking for more.

Your mouth parts for him, and he backs you against the ponderosa, kissing you deeply, greedily, like he’s a man starved.

You whimper into him, your hands sliding up his broad chest and past his shoulders until they’re tangled in his soft, graying curls. He breathes you in, like you are the oxygen he needs to stay alive.

It isn’t until you both hear the sound of rustling behind a nearby shrub that you’re forced to pull apart. “Don’t move,” Joel instructs in a hushed voice. He keeps you pinned against the tree, his hand abandoning your hip. He glances around, slowly reaching behind his back for his rifle. His tense shoulders relax when the both of you see a pair of rabbits dart out from one dried bush and straight into another. Exhaling an amused huff, Joel shifts his attention back to you and rests his forehead against yours.

Smiling, you reach up and softly graze his beard with your fingertips. “Guess it’s about time we called this what it is, huh?”

“Guess you’re right, darlin’.” He lifts his chin, brushing a kiss onto your forehead. “M’sorry for raisin’ my voice to you. For talkin’ to you the way I did. S’just, the thought of somethin’ happenin’ to you out here scares shit out of me.” Taking a step back, he pulls the strap of his rifle from around his shoulder. He chews the inside of his cheek and silently stares at the gun in his hands. After a minute, he meets your curious gaze. “Do you really wanna do this, sweet girl?”

You nod. “Yeah. I really do.”

Joel sighs. “Can I put a condition it?”

“Depends on what that condition is.”

“I’m your patrol partner. Every shift. Every rotation.”

You roll your eyes. “Joel.”

“At least for the first few weeks,” he bargains. “Last thing I need is for you to be paired up with some fuckin’ idiot who doesn’t know what the hell they’re doin’.”

Knowing that would be the only way he’d have some peace of mind, you decide to agree. “Fine. We’re patrol partners.”

“Alright then.” Joel nods and hands you the rifle. He flashes you a small grin. “Show me what you got, baby.”

divider credit to @/saradika 💛

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