#werk it gurl

[paper-birdies]

He's just a funky lil' fella

[feraltwinkseb]

July 28, 2018 - Budapest, Hungary Source: Zak Mauger\Formula 1 via Getty Images

[fancyhats-and-fennelsbuds]

Happy Halloween folks!👻👻👻👻

October 31 has struck in my timezone, and it's time for a wild. Poisonous Helga to join @cosmiconix Hallows ball party! Trying to follow the Deadly Fauna theme has been challenging but oh- so so much fun! Thanks for the possibility!

Sugar...Spice....Everything spite!!! (and campyness, and drag and a small funky purse that cannot keep anything inside, aside five M&Ms, a lipstic and a swiss army knife)

[elipri]

I got more base bags the other day! :D the plushies one is more or less finished, the Damian bag is a WIP tho

The letter design of the bag really resonated with me, probably due to damianya letter fics being some of my faves! 💖

[vibrantiris]

*cohort and I discussing a client on our caseload*

Cohort: yeah, she was born in ‘73

Me: that makes her like mid-50’s now, right?

Cohort: i…… i don’t…… Listen, there’s a reason we’re in this field

[theresjudgment]

edge looking bored while finn work it, iconic

[1-helluva-hazbin]

Always Something Underneath

Chapter 1 - Hints of Vanilla

Lucifer x Fem!reader (prostitute character w/ accent)

Content warning: heavy flirting, slow burn, smoking, writing the accent

Summary: A curious answer during one of Charlie's groups from a new resident stokes Lucifer's interest. Him choosing to pursue a brief conversation with the new resident sparks the beginnings of something new.

Thank you for all the love and support you choose to give!

Word Count: 2476

Chapter 1 (You are Here) 𖤐 Chapter 2 𖤐 Chapter 3 𖤐 Chapter 4 𖤐 Chapter 5 (WIP)

“Good job everyone! Thank you for all the awesome participation today!” Charlie said as she clapped her hands, ending the last session of the day.

You stood up stretching. Just a quick shift of your shoulders and twist of your body had it popping and crunching from having sat for the last 45ish minutes. You made it fast though as you didn’t want to get caught up in conversation with anyone. You needed to get some nicotine in your system before you headed off to work. You ducked from the room before anyone could notice you dipped and briskly headed off.

It hadn’t been long since you had come to the hotel. Only a month if that. You had quickly made yourself at home though. Eagerly participating in the group sessions, partaking in the lobby bar with some fun drunken shenanigans, and taking advantage of the hotel amenities such as the many balconies to indulge your nicotine addiction. As you made your way up to the left wing balcony on the second floor, you put a cigarillo in your cigarette holder and prepped your lighter. Approaching the door, you turned pushing it open with your rear enabling you to simultaneously light up. You took a quick puff twirling out the opened door, that quickly swung shut with a slam behind you, and sighed as the smoke invaded your lungs teasing your addiction. 

You made your way over to the banister on the far side of the large balcony to lean on it, your plush bosom getting a lift. You brought the holder to your lips and slowly took a long slow drag. You had gotten vanilla cigarillos this time which was just the taste you wanted as it brought about a light buzz fully quelling the craving that had been gnawing at you. “Mmm…just what this gurl needs.” you hummed to yourself. Your free hand snagged your phone from its tucked position in the waist of your skirt bringing up one of the various social media sites you frequented. Your finger speedily flicking through the vast amounts of meaningless content people spammed the site with looking for anything remotely entertaining.

To your surprise, you hear the door behind you open and close. You perked a brow and glanced over your shoulder to see none other than Lucifer making his way over. His hands behind his back holding his cane as he confidently strode over. “Good afta’noon your majesty.” you coo, giving a half wave with the hand holding your cigarillo. 

“Good afternoon.” he politely responded, taking up a spot to your right leaving ample room between the two of you. “Very good session this afternoon. You gave a very,” he paused thinking about how he wanted to phrase it, “honest answer.”

“Well,” you laugh softly, “Chawlie’s always goin’ on about honesty bein’ important. An’ I figya, I ain’t got nothin’ to hide so I ain’t got no reason not’a be.” You took another slow drag watching him as he gazed out towards the city. He seemed a little nervous; his fingers drumming along the shaft of his cane and he shifted his weight from his heels to the front of his feet and back. That tickled you a bit. You tucked your phone back into the waist of the skirt and turned towards him. “Alright, what’s goin’ on. You don’t just stawt conversations with anybawdy.”

A devious smirk slid onto your lips as you decided to mess with him. You leaned towards him, bending at the waist so your cleavage was in full view for the king. “You lookin’ for a little fun ta’night? Bold of you I gotta say but, I’m game. I got werk but… I could stop by your room afta.” 

Lucifer blanched and he immediately put both hands up, as if he would push you away should you dare to get too close, while stepping back. “ABSOLUTELY NOT. Nooooooo. No, no, and NO.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from unabashedly laughing at his reaction. The satisfaction of freaking him out feeding your desire to tease him further. He looked like he might launch into an asthma attack, if he had asthma, from the shock though. You knew you couldn’t push too far considering how good you had it here and the fact you had JUST gotten here. “Sorry, sorry. I gotta mean streak don’ I.” The smile lingering on your lips as you lean away from him easing his anxiety. “But really. What’s up?”

A quick flick of your fingers sent ashes to the air before you brought it back to his lips, giving him a moment to recover and answer you. As you waited, you looked over the eye candy before you. You really wouldn’t have minded if he wanted a private session with you. He was far easier on the eyes than most of the clients you saw at the brothel. Damn if you weren’t really curious about how long that serpent tongue was as well. 

“I wanted to talk about your answer in the group.” he said after having collected himself, not having missed the fact he was being visually eaten alive. “About how one of your reasons for wanting to get into heaven is to find love. You know there isn’t a guarantee you’ll find that up there right? Plus Heaven… has it’s own challenges. Let alone who knows what the winners will think of prior sinners joining their ranks.”

You took a moment, processing what he had said. “Hmm… I mean, your not wrong. There isn’t.” you paused, lightly tapping your cigarette holder on the banister as you pondered, “If ya’ think about it though, most’a the people down heya, don’t have a reason to be betta. Like, there’s no reason to improve. Most people prob’ly get worse actually since, ya know, they can’t get inna heaven. It is what it is kinda mentality.”

You purse your lips, looking out towards the city. “It’s pretty hawd findin’ somebody who wants’ta commit when everythin’ around’ja encourages ya to just do whateva you want. I’ve had my faya shara of cheats and use’as. Then when they aw decent, usually cause they fresh ta hell, the extermination gets’em. ” You turn back to Lucifer taking another puff of your cigarello.

“People in heaven though…” you look at your hand as you twirled the cigarette holder making designs in the air with the smoke while looking out at the city as you talked, “obviously they did sommin’ right. Probably werked on themselves. Read those self improvement books or saw’a shrink. Actually tried to fix their issues. Ya’know? Decen’ people who wanna be good. For themselves an’ their foreva person.”

A sigh slipped from your lips as you thought about it before you glanced back at him. His face was neutral, though you figured gears were turning. “I got’ta give myself some’in to look forward to. THOUGH,” you added with an omph, “If I don got’ta werk up there. Love dos’nt matta. That’s gold. Sign me up. I’ll werk on me while baskin’ in the joys’a Heaven and if love comes along I’ll giv’it a try.”

He laughed out lightly. He shook his head clearly bemused by your monologue. While looking out just as the sound of gunshots sounded just a couple of blocks away, his smile fell slightly. “You’re not wrong about people not trying down here…” 

“Good thing we gawt Chawlie. Keep us awll in line.” You let out a single laugh drinking him in. “Does our resident angel think it’s pawsable? Redemption?”

He side eyed you looking down towards the ground and shrugged. “I can’t say. It hasn’t been done before as far as I’m aware.”

A hum of acknowledgement leaves your lips before you suck in the last bit of your ciargello in one long drag. You hold it, before slowly breathing it out, “Shucks. Well, guess awll we can do is try.”

He perked a brow at you glancing over. You smile at him. He hesitates before returning your smile and nodding. “Yup.”

You bend down, putting out the cigarello nub on the ground standing back up with a huff. You take the burnt down bit from the holder and flick it off the balcony, not missing the disgusted look from Lucifer. “Well, I don’t really wanna cut this shwort but, I gotta stawt gettin’ ready for werk.”

His brows furrowed, his expressions were just the cutest. He had heard you mention it previously but he had been so focused on shutting down your advances it hadn’t registered. “Why are you still working? You’re supplied everything you need at the hotel aren’t you?”

“Well, a gurls gawtta’ protect herself.” You gave him a lopsided smile paired with one raised eyebrow as if it should be obvious. “Since we dun know if it’s gunna werk I can’ bank on it. If I quit the brothel and it don’t, I hav’ta restawt building’ my reputation awll ova. Jus’ cuttin’ my ow’as to a couple nights, protects me from fully restawtin’.”

You waggle a finger at him, “AWLSO, it actually has been helpin’ me too. Supply an’ demand kinda thing. The less ow’as I have ta offa, means the clients who rreaaally want me, ah willin’ ta pay little more. They awlso have been bookin’ mora head’a time. Full books, less ow’as, with a little more comin’ in has been SOOO nice. I actually havn’ lost as much money as I thawt I would by comin’ here.”

Lucifer was staring at you with a clearly bewildered or overwhelmed look in his eyes. He hadn’t expected such an extensive, practical answer. He had just sort of assumed you enjoyed the sex from the way he had seen you act. You laughed seeing the look on his face, “It’ jus’ makes sense don’it?”

“I suppose you’re right. That was… certainly… a different answer than I expected.” 

“So diplomatic.” you roll your eyes playfully. “You're not gonna hurt my feelin’s none by saying what you actually think.” You pull your phone from your waist, groaning seeing the time. “I do gotta head out. Werk ‘n that.”

“Oh of course.” he said before pausing. “Since you entertained my questions, would you like a portal to your door?”

You gasped out at the offer, genuinely surprised. You then smile at him, trying to act a little sheepish though you were far too excited to successfully play it off. “You don’ gotta if you dun wanna BUT I. Would. Love that.”

He let out a soft laugh at your attempt to hide your excitement and with a quick motion of his cane a portal materialized before you. You watched completely mesmerized. You then whipped your head towards him, “If I could travel first class like this alla time, I would. I do, greatly appreciate it ya highness.”

“Please, Lucifer is just fine.” His cane rested in front of him with both hands on the apple top. His chest puffed just slightly, his ego bolstered by your reaction.

“Oooo,” you purred, “first name basis. You jus’ open a can-a-worms. You bet I’ma call you every nickname in the book now.”

He laughed nervously, his eyes shifting off to the side and then back, not certain what kind of teasing he had just incidentally unleashed upon himself, “Lucifer’s fine.”

The playful smirk climbed onto your lips, pleased with his reaction. “Thanks again for the portal dwoll.”

As you started to walk through the portal to your bedroom door you hesitated, suddenly turning around and walking over towards Lucifer again. You saw him tense slightly as you made your way back to him.

“You know…” you allow your voice to take a sultry tone, to feed into the uncertainty he was feeling, stopping right in front of him. Using a finger up to lightly push his hat up a smidge so you could see his face a little easier, since you were just slightly taller than him with your heels, you give him a real smile, “you seem like your one’a the good ones. A real decin’ persin.”

“A lil rough aroun’ the edges. But, considerin’ ur age and all the bullshit you’ve see along with, ya know, where we aw. You’re pretty swell. It’s not really a mystery where Chawlie gets it and why she makes me wanna be betta persin.” Your smile grew seeing him blink in surprise before a thought crossed your mind that made your face deadpan.

“Most’a the time. I still have days where I wanna commit mass homicide but~,” you said quickly waving your hand as if to dismiss the comment as if it was a sidenote, “I’m gettin’ betta. More good days than bad days. It’sa stawt.”

Lucifer didn’t let the comment pass though as his face twisted into one of alarm and question before he attempted to mask it with a plastered fake smile that was pulled too tight and didn’t reach his eyes. “Hahaha..yeah…that's totally normal!” he looked away with wide eyes real quick before putting a gleeful facade back on, “Well you better run along! Can’t be late for work!”

“Ah, shoot! You're right!” you spun on your heels and quickly made your way towards the portal waving at him from over your shoulder. “Thanks for the portal, Luci babe! Lets do this again soon~!” 

The moment you walked through the portal, it closed with a resolute ‘whish’. The smile immediately fell from Lucifer’s face as he sighed out, emotionally spent. He fixed his hat before turning to lean on the banister collecting himself as he played through the conversation with you. You certainly were quite the character, like most of the hotel guests, but overall you had seemed…pleasant. Minus the homicide comment. Also minus your sexually charged teasing.

He looked out towards the city as he thought about what you said before the homicide comment. Him being a decent person which is where Charlie got it. That made his heart swell. While Lilith had certainly taken up the role of primary parent, he liked hearing there were still parts of him in Charlie; especially good parts. He might have fucked up most of the things in his life but, hopefully Charlie would never be one of them. She was too good and he would do everything in his power to make sure she stayed that way.

The image of your smiling face as you pushed his hat up popped into his head. He hoped you were a decent person. It had truly seemed as though you had said all of that in earnest. Your eyes had been soft with a kind smile. A small glimpse of a potentially good being.

“What a whirlwind…” He laughed softly, running a hand down his face, mentally preparing for more social interactions, before he made a portal for himself back to the lobby.

[ad-astrah]

Cinderella's Castle Digital Ticket Reactions (Part III)

"GOOD. Good. Good. good. goo--*sobs.*"

Starkid does one little concert in London and suddenly EVERYBODY'S got a British accent. lol I'm just joking. They work here with the setting of the show and as a way to differentiate characters. And I think it was smart of them to only use the accents for minor characters that only briefly appear.

"because your labor pained me and I swore that I'd get you back and...well, that time has come." Honestly, she's a real one for that. Also that line delivery was so perfect. Angela's comedic timing is so good.

I was actually rooting for Rancilda, though. The blowjob jokes that she and the prince could've shared...

"fits like a glove." "It's a shoe, stupid!" "IT'S AN EXPRESSION, DUMBASS."

Again, I just love how stupid and wildly different and fun Mariah's character is in this show! Love seeing her range.

🎶LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA🎶

Tadius gettin' the fuq outta there. He knows shit's goin' down.

THE CUT TO STEPMOTHER AND RANCILDA IN THE AUDIENCE.

Tadius' face during these vows. Gives me Chris Pine sitting through an interview with Harry Styles vibes.

Boooo. BOOOOOO

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, RANCILDA.

HISSSSSSSSSS

When Ella came back I was like: WELCOME BACK, QUEEN. SLAY.

THE HAIR. THE ROBES. THE LONG SLEEVES. This is so fuckin' dope.

I DON'T WANNA LIVE YOUR DREAM ANYMORE, MOM. I LIKE RIDDLES...I'M GOIN' BACK TO THE BRIIIIIIIDGEEEE. YEAAAHH!" Honestly, I love that for her. Go live your dream, Rancilda!

How did the outfit get MORE. DOPE. YASSSSS ELLA. WERK BITCH. This chainmail-like look literally and figuratively KILLS.

And thus Winnifred Sanderson the Stepmother dies.

Tadius just casually admitting to regicide.

"Who knows! I wasn't there." Biiiitch.

Queen Putrice. lol gurl was queen for like 5 minutes.

I thought he was proposing for a hot sec there. And as good of a power couple I think they'd make, they ain't ready for that yet. They got boatlads of fuckin' trauma to unpack and I'm pretty sure neither of them have ever been in a relationship before lol. They gotta take that ish slow.

Wasn't quite expecting an 80s gospel ballad but it makes sense and it works. Especially with Bryce's powerful, soulful voice. Gimme that power ballad gilrboss vibe.

Yo, listen to how GOOD Jon Matteson sounds! And whilst using a character voice, too! Proud of you, boo. He's come such a long way since GWDLM.

SING IT BRYCE. FUCK YES. HOT DAMN.

Jeff working the crowd like the attention whore he is and we love him for that.

Jeff's falsetto is insane!

I'm wondering if Ella's wardrobe was all green as a reference to her mother's dancing and praying in the forest in front of that tree and to the Fairy Queen herself? I feel like it's symbolic and not just a "Bryce looks good in green, so let's make her entire wardrobe green" thing. Although she DOES look good in green.

Another brilliant, hilarious, incredible show from Team Starkid. I cannot WAIT until the Youtube edition comes out and all Starkid fans can watch it over and over as much as we want and soak up every little detail and joke and make all the memes. I know they'll never see a post from lil ole me, but THANK YOU, TEAM STARKID, for making my days brighter, my heart lighter, my laughter louder, and my smile wider.

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

I wish every werking gurl a findom sub who actually has money to send

[bimbo-travel-blog]

Hey there. Ah jus' stopped in town for a spell an' somethin' seems off but I can't seem ta figure it out. First mah cock gots all swelled up then mah girl couldn't get enough of it. Every loads bigger than the last and she's been blowin' up all pretty like. All tits an' ass. Well an' those big ol' lips. Says mah "bull cock" as she calls it needs polishin'. When she can pull her big ol' lips off mah pecker that is. She's been drainin' mah nuts nonstop and I'm always full! I thought somethin' musta happened so we went to see the local Doc. Nice fella. Told me I was a lucky bull, whatever that means. Says a lil growth ain't a probl'm round here. Heh I got a foot of pecker now. 5 inches of growth is lil here I guess. Told us we're prob'ly in heat an' not to think too much about it, or anythin'. Sent us into town to get some new clothes since we got more growin' ta do. Mah girls jugs already big as her head and her giant rear been hangin' out her torn pants. Mah dicks almost to mah knee in these shorts an' it's always leakin' now. How big he think we gonna git? All this talk makin' me wanna dump a big ol' load in mah girl again. Bend her over an' fuck her brains out. Shit I think she heard me. Wait. Honey you can't suck mah dick in tha store. Get off the ground b'fore I....fuck.....

Aww you two sound cute!

And it's good yer bimbo is getting some teething time in. They need a good dick to suck with their buck teeth and bj lips are growin' in. When they gettin' all country fried they gots ta learn that they mouths fer suckin' not yappi'. Swear.

You don't teach a gurl that they only sound smart when they suckin' cock and you get a level 5 yapper. That's how you get bimbo's working at the tourist board! lol. It's tru though. You get bull boys comin' in all "Where can a guy get a dick sucked?" And we're all like "Well sir here's a list of randy restaurants" Like what? lol.

But ya'll seem to be findin' yer way round town without our help! So yew just keep doing yew stud. And Hey a footer ain't nothin to be ashamed of. It's a great starter fur a new arrival! And you got that drippy kind of dick. So hot. Awful dissapointin' when you dew all the werk of makin' your man cum, and cum up empty on the baby batter. Keep on pumping bull boy until you get that bell o' hers nice and full!

Oh and just let the dang girl fuck ya, boy! We ain't a bunch of rudey prudey city sinners! We don't get offended when two lovers do what Bambi done made them ta do. Get it? Fuck in the store, fuck on the floor, fuck in the street, cum on your sheets. It's all good new born master man.

[restinginpiecesofpizza]

Yass Gurl. Banish your sense of self so that you might be able to better adapt to an extremely hostile and ever changing environment. Slay Queen. Werk.

[uno-writing]

Hallo hallo

so in order of Unordinary Volume 1 being out, can you please provide some pre-arc arlo fluff🤗🤗🤗

im so happy youre back even if it’s temporary omg ive missed you and our little interactions😔

also how are you!

-Candy Anon🍭🍬🍫

I missed you too jdskljglsjglsdjlfs i got so hyped when i saw your comments

I’m doing well! I got a job at a bowling alley and it’s honestly rlly great jfsdlgjls how are you doing my darling fiance? 🍿🥤🍭🍬🍫🧋🥨🥬🍦🍧🧊🐇🍩🥖📦🌻🥒🍰🌮

“....what are you doing?” Arlo deadpans, watching Y/N adjust the blonde wig on their head.

“It’s Halloween.” Y/N remarks with complete casualty as if they weren’t dressed exactly like Arlo except with a full face of dramatic, yassified make up and long nails. Arlo stares at them, rendered speechless as he tries to process a reaction that won’t completely hurt their feelings. Y/N looks at him in confusion. “What? Do you not know who I am?” 

Their face furrows into an angry expression and they clack their nails. “Preesh the hierarchy.” They bark dramatically. “Werk that ability girlie. You’re not a bad bitch if you’re under high tier, periodt.” 

“...why?” Arlo huffs and Y/N crosses their arms. 

“I’m a material gurl!” 

A heavy sigh leaves Arlo and he wipes a hand down his face. “....okay…” He finally huffs, turning away.

“Hell yeah, bestie. Let’s go enforce the hierarchy.” Y/N clicks their nails, bouncing along after him.

[hjonko]

“I can’t believe I fell for this TRASH-“

“YOU GOT ME TO SHOW UP WITH A DRESS!”

So I did a thing-

I recently rewatched “Adventure Time with Fionna and Cake” AND OH MY GOD FINN IS SO WEAK COMPARED TO HER WTF

NOT ONLY DOES SHE NEED NO SWORD TO KICK ASS, BUT SHE DONT NEED NO MAN AT ALL

LIKE WERK KITTY GURL YES SLAY THE HOUSE BOOTS PURR KITTY PURRRRRRRR

[buckedmundo]

good for pen make him WERK FOR IT GURL

[bitchkay]

I was reading old emails from years ago and I came as notifs from my old wattpad account of like comments and replies on stories I'd written

More accurately from the my hero academia fanfic about my oc

Now there was alot wrong with that fic from the content to the story telling to the pacing, characterization, and it wasn't a bad story but it also was never meant to be good either

But honestly looking back it was iconic for the era, like okay 2019 my hero OC werk✨

And reading some of those old emails just made me remember that time like it almost makes me wanna give that oc a new life, cus gurl I gave her so much trauma she deserves better

I won't though because I'd genuinely have to do like a complete demolition and rebuild for her character and story especially now since the mha manga is finished now and I'm like 4 season behind on the anime💀💀 and I'm straight just not up to it rn💀

But it's cool looking back, cus although I don't agree with some of my past decisions and behavior I can still look back at the time for what it was cus it was fun as hell and goofy as fuck, wattpad is so unserious yall it was a different time it was truly an era

[cogshell]

Werk it gurl