#were-dog Adaine anyone?? no??

[ewwww-what]

Okay, pack it up nerd squad.

[theology101]

Fabian and Adaine have me absolutely bewitched and its going to be everyone's problem

Im writing a fic for the two of them were they sorta do the awkward 'are we dating or just Good Friends who spend time together without other Friends' to 'fake date to fix her money problems' and then 'actually we were in love the entire time.' I'm not 100% on my order of events yet but I have a bunch of vignettes stuck in my head and its easier for my brain to expell them at an audience

Moggy the Doggy and the Hangman both go to the Spectral Dog park, Fabian and Adaine want to get Hangman comfortable in his hellhound form (although they respect that he prefers to be a bike)

For some reason whenever Adaine needs new clothes, she goes with Fabian? Something about the good vibes from the Jean Jacket means she thinks he's a lucky charm for clothes

While out in public Adaine has a panic attack, and Fabian swaddled her in the Battle Sheet. She initially thinks its patronizing before realizing - is this shit thread count seven billion?

After the Swaddle Incident, Fig and Kristen start VIOLENTLY shipping them, and that inspires the 'lets get engaged for tax purposes'

Fabian has an additional fund for his betrothed/spouse/SO, and KVX starts giving Adaine three thousand gold pieces a month

Jawbone, Gorthulax and Sandra Lynn are all pretty hype about this development - Sandra Lynn has her fucking eyes on him though. Adaine immediately feels guilty about lying

Hallariel flies home fucking immediately and forces Adaine to spend an entire Weekend with her. I'm talking Spa Day, Dress Fitting, Sword Dueling and a bunch of traditional elven activities

(and Adaine def doesn't cry because she's having the type of elven family experience with Hallariel that she wishes she had with Arianwen Abernant)

Turns out KVX has a similar system as the 'nemesis' system for spouses/signifgant others. Adaine would not be getting her three thousand gold a month unless she and Fabian genuinely did love each other

The reaction from that makes her vomit

The Bad Kids have to deal with Princess Nara being a BITCH. She's Fabian's cousin, wants her fucking sword back, thank you very much, and thinks that the Elven Oracle slumming it at High School and on adventures instead of leading a fucking nation like she's supposed to

Fabian and Adaine are backing each other up with so much passion and authority they kiss about it when they're done

And idk how we get here, but she's proposing herself with rings from the Jacket of Useful Things

I have more that are still half baked but if anyone else has any hit me dog. This shit is going to be 5k words+ a chapter when I'm done with her and I'm debating on 1-5 chapters rn

[jellybeanium124]

TUA 4x05 reaction

I'm sorry... are lila and five gonna be stuck on the subway for six years five months and two days... jesus. if I had a nickel for every time five got stuck somewhere hellish I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot and frankly it's not that weird that it happened twice

lila is gonna want nothing more than normal after this

fuck... 6 years without a shower or toilet coz there ain't either of those on the subway. icky. well. five's done it before.

imagine telling early season 2 five that he'd eventually be stuck on a magic subway with lila for six years. imagine telling early season 2 lila.

they are gonna be weirdly codependent after this

klaus. burn the coffin. dig up thru the dirt. light that shit on fire. worst comes to worst and you die and come back

this season's also been way more gore intense than any of the others, methinks

if five and lila kiss I'm gonna release the wasps

they keep calling the umbrellas kids even tho ben, the youngest, is canonically 35. 35!! and gene and jean and sy keep calling him a boy. he is in his 30s. diego, 4 months older than him, has 3 fucking kids. bruh

ghost dog!! sure!! lmao

claire sees her mom be a badass for the first time :o I love that trope when a kid sees their parent being a total badass for the first time and it completely upturns their worldview lol

diego meeting a walking object lesson is ok. because sometimes people need to meet a walking object lesson sabhdjf

DIEGO LEARNED PUNJABI 😭😭😭 BRUHH...

man I want that cable knit sweater five is wearing

I stg if lila/five becomes a thing I'M gonna be the one vomiting bc what the hell

that is NOT the kind of enemies-to-lovers I want 😭

I literally said "stop" out loud

hey guys would it make me a horrible person if I would've prefered major character death

why was there so much kissing

ELEVATOR FIGHT ELEVATOR FIGHT!!

rip funny elevator fight. anyways get those bitches, luther

WHY DID LUTHER HAVE TEAR-AWAY PANTS 😭😂

luther only owns tear-away suits. for stripping. I love him. anyone who hated luther ever is wrong

the entire season everyone is fatshaming diego for having a straight up not-even-visible tummy. then his shirt comes off and he has a six pack. bruh.

ritu and aidan are screaming for help. obviously. I am looking at them and someone needs to help. who decided that five and lila should lose focus and have a consensual workplace relationship

I'm barely fuckin joking adain and ritu were clearly having the time of their lives together in s2 and s3 but adain is delivering his lines like he wishes he was doing literally anything else

oh jesus five, don't electrocute yourself on the track

ive. you gotta tell lila about the book you found from yourself left for you. dude. for the love of fuck.

why is five talking like lila owes him?? you really are acting your age, old man. she doesn't owe you shit just coz you held her when she was sad

reg is literally buttering viktor up just like he did with klaus last season

jennifer disappeared??

nope nevermind

OH FUCK. SY IS AN ALIEN. LIKE REG. SAME ALIEN. SHIIIIT

HE'S ABGAIL?!?!?!

oh my gd so sy was a real guy who abagail killed and scooped out to wear as a skin suit. so that's why "sy" had the marigold.

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 2

The Case of the Dismal Dinner

Summary

Welcome back to our flashback/Tisch fight already in progress where we learn what Daisy and Sly’s shared look was about while Rekha and Grant go for the proverbial jugular emotionally. It’s 12 years ago and Sylvester is tracking down a stolen diadem, the very same diadem that he sees Daisy swipe off the thief who has it (a jackal named Roscoe McCoy in case that matters). Sly swipes it back from her and, when she notices, she sniffs it down to his train car where he is sitting in the dark, waiting for her. He doesn’t turn the lights on, opting instead to dramatically strike a match to light his pipe, illuminating himself sitting in a big chair, holding the stolen item.

Daisy tries to bluff like she’s Virginia Chase, the owner of the diadem, but Sly knows that’s not true because he was hired by the real Virginia to track it down. Daisy is usually a better liar than this but she is insta-smitten by this figurative and literal fox and it’s throwing her off her game. But before they can continue their little tete-a-tete, they hear a gunshot ring out from Daisy’s room and know Roscoe and his guys are coming after her. Sly stuffs Daisy in a trunk before the boys show up and they actually seem a little impressed to meet him, him being a famous detective and all, but a Nat 1 deception means they hear Daisy being huffy in the chest and a fight/escape scene that Brennan takes over narration for ensues. 

After that, Sly and Daisy become close really quickly and partners in both senses of the word. Daisy tells him she’s an American PI and they work together on cases, travel the world, and become engaged within the year. But, the day before the wedding, when Sly is alone, he discovers all the documentation proving that Daisy lied about who she is, is actually a criminal, and has been using their partnership to sell information to other criminals.

She shows up and tries to pretend like she’s being set up but he replies, “You being duped is the only lie you’ve told I can’t believe.” He says that being with her changed him. He didn’t think he had it in him to actually love another person. He forgives her. He still wants to get married. Daisy is thrown by this reaction. She tells him she’s not gonna change for him and he might as well leave her. She’s being all unapologetic femme fatale about it but he gets the sense that under her bravado she’s low key pleading with him to give up on her. He doesn’t want to. He can’t. He still shows up the next day in his wedding tux. Daisy is nowhere to be seen. When he goes home, there’s a deerstalker cap on his porch and a note that just reads “-D”.

And we snap back to the present where Daisy is trying to figure out if she can take advantage of Lucretia’s fascination with the occult and all the rich vulnerable people present to make some money. Meanwhile, Sly has been totally rocked by seeing Daisy and is drowning his sorrows at the bar with Ollie, the otter bartender. Squire Badger (which is what I’ll be calling William) shows up and, in not so many words, threatens Sly for having not solved the case and making a fool of him. He says, “You’re not gonna rub my nose in this.” Move your nose then bitch, says Sly on a dirty 20 intimidation check. He’s sad about girl problems, not you! Squire Badger is scared off, but he looks like he knows something that Sly doesn’t. That someone is coming for him. 

Buckster (and Ian too btw) clocked the above conversation and sidles up to Sly at the bar. See, not only does Buckster know about Sly and Daisy’s history, he knew it was happening *while* it was happening. Sly used up all his cool swagger on the Squire so by the time Buckster shows up he’s a whole mess over Daisy. Buckster starts implying that maybe they can help each other out since they both dislike the Squire and with Sly’s Nat 20 Insight, they can totally clock each other’s double meanings perfectly. It’s a very cool game thing where Sly and Buckster are having an innocuous conversation about the weather or whatever but Grant and Sam are just saying what they mean. It’s like they’re having a telepathic conversation. Sly agrees that the enemy of his enemy is his friend and he’ll go along with Buck’s plans as long as he can keep his hands clean, even if he doesn’t really care for Buck himself. 

At the same time Gangie is in the kitchens getting fed (see the notes for a full list of kitchen staffers and other NPCs) and after the staff leaves, Gangie is told by Ambrose Harding (the Squire’s turtle valet) that there’s is business for him to attend to after dinner. 

Buckster talks to Lawrence Longfoot--the rabbit photographer from last ep who we learn runs a trash newspaper. He and Buck bond over being trash and he gets a pic of Sly and Buck together. 

Vicar Ian goes to talk to the Squire and basically tries to (openly) suss out whether the money was a bribe or a setup or what? Like, people are fully there (including the Lady Fawnbrook and her gossipy cat wife Tabitha). They snipe at each other a bit and then the Squire reveals that he’s talked him up to the Cardinal and the Cardinal agreed that he’s such a good vicar, he should be moved to Siberia. The decision has already been made and Ian doesn’t have the pull in the church to do anything about it. Yikes. 

Before dinner, the rat butler catches Buck and asks if he has time to talk to Squire Badger. Buck agrees to go with him and he’s taken to the billiards room where the Squire is along with Harding and James Hawkins, Squire’s Hawk war buddy (a literal war hawk). Buck immediately puts his foot in his mouth by messing up the Squire’s title with his American ignorance of British peerage rules which annoys him, the elitism of it all. The Squire’s friends leave and then Buck starts talking about PR and how this whole situation has been bad PR for the Squire and it would be a shame if his PR got even worse. The suggestion of blackmail sends the Squire into a full honey badger don’t care style rage and he knocks TF out of Buck, flips the pool table, and then catches himself and scurries off. Daisy, Sly, and Gangie all hear this conversation from their positions in the house via the pipes running through the manor. Buck picks himself up and, on a 25, realizes that two of the mouse maids were hiding behind a curtain, hearing the whole thing (specifically, Edwina Thimble and Carolyn Dickory--oh like hickory dickory doc, BRENNAN) . They were playing hooky so he flips them a coin each and they all agree that no one saw or heard anything. “Two blind mice, see how they run,” he quips as they leave (sidenote, what a morbid nursery rhyme to exist in that world--to be fair, it’s pretty morbid as is).

Lucretia decides to turn the séance into a post dinner séance but still brings Daisy and Lars to see her occult room which is full of crap from, as Rekha said, “1800s Party City”. Lucretia does a hilariously vague read on Daisy and says that there’s something happening with her involving a man she knew or maybe still knows but she’s in her feelings about Sly so it kinda shakes her up. She tries to get Lucretia to charge for her “””incredible gift””” (so she can skim off the top of course) but Lucretia thinks it would be a misuse of her ~talents~. She does give Daisy an incredibly broad as to be useless even if magic exists blessing before she leaves. 

Once she does, Daisy scopes out the room (which she realizes must have been retrofitted for Lucretia and wasn’t previously a séance room) and sees that the one thing in the room that doesn’t really match the aesthetic is a giant portrait of one of the previous squire badgers. On a 24 she notices two things: (1) the painting has recently been restored with new paint and (2) the frame is bolted to the wall. She wants to check it out but Lars is right there so she makes a note to check it out later and leaves. 

Lars, being a very ride or die friend for Sly, bounds after her and basically calls her trash and tries to tempt her with garbage so she’ll lose composure and start chowing down. She drools at the sight but keeps it together and leaves. Lars runs off to tell Sly that they were a good good dog and gives him a full play by play. 

Gangie meanwhile is watching a small argument between the butler and Harding in the servant’s quarters hallway and he realizes that he’s being talked about in veiled language. The butler is questioning Gangie’s employment and Harding says that, as servants, they shouldn’t question their master and that Gangie is employed for reasons that Squire Badger is aware of and reasons he is not. Hmm. Gangie realizes that Harding knows about his past which is weird because Gangie’s criminal record doesn’t follow him. There’s no internet. So what reason would this guy have to know about him?

Gangie doesn’t like this and decides to dip and steal some silverware on the way out. Mrs. Molesley (who I’ll be calling Mrs. M from now on) helps him (lol I’m not entirely sure if she didn’t know what he was doing or if she’s just down with stealing) and says that she’s been working there since Squire Badger was in diapers (she was his nanny) and if anyone bullies Gangie, she’ll take care of them. She also offers to make him a sweater so he doesn’t get cold and she’s just so nice that Gangie has to say yes. He looks to make sure no one is around and gives her a dandelion he picked. Cute!!!

And now it’s time for dinner and our very first box of doom roll for the most terrifying encounter of all: how close you have to sit next to your bitter ex! This is of course for Sly and Daisy with higher than a 15 meaning they don’t have to sit next to each other and anything lower meaning they have to sit pretty close. It is the first BOD roll I’ve ever wanted them to fail (mmm, except maybe Adaine’s werewolf roll but that’s a different conversation). 

It’s in the 6-10 bracket which means they’re sitting across from each other (below that would have been them next to each other). Everyone is seated based on how on Squire Badger’s shitlist they are. So you have Ian at the absolute back. Sly to his right and Daisy on his left. The Buckster and Lars to the right and left after that. Then Armond (armadillo lawyer guy) and a snail guy because Brennan is a madman who cannot be stopped. Constance (Squire’s daughter) makes a toast to her dad wishing him well even though they haven’t always seen eye to eye (hmmm).

Buckster fills in Daisy on his confrontation with the Squire quietly enough that no one else hears. Daisy then turns to Sly and says she hopes they can be civil. Sly is like, “Sure Ms. DUMPSTER.” They’re the kind of exes who know exactly how to hurt each other but are also super open to being hurt. Emotional glass cannons is how Brennan describes it. 

Buckster is given a note by Harding from Squire Badger and, once dinner is over, he takes Daisy off to the side to read it. Gangie follows, unseen. Ian, who recently prayed to God and got not super clear results goes to talk to Luecretia to see if maybe ghosts can help him instead. She is, as usual, not super helpful but does rush out to get her very necessary ritual dagger and declares to everyone that if anyone sees a ghost they have to tell her. As she says this, there is a flash of lightning and, through the window, Sylvester sees just for a moment the form of his nemesis, Fletcher Cottonbotton (who is by the docks).

Anyway, Buckster reads the note. It’s a document from the Squire selling his interest in BB Industries (Buck’s oil company) to Hazel Hogswallop who is another small shareholder in BB Industries. But, in doing so, it names Josiah Jackrabbit (one of his competitors) her proxy which means he’ll be able to vote on things (and with a lot of power with all that stock).  The contract was written in fresh ink which means (1) it was probably written after their fight and (2) hasn’t been mailed yet (I smell a heist attempt). Buck rolls insight on the writing (mastermind rogue ability) and with a 27 senses that the Squire has gone off his rocker. This isn’t going to make him any money. Josiah doesn’t have enough liquid cash to pay him what this is worth. And the thing with Hazel would have taken time to set up. This has been in the works for a while and he’s been sitting on it until the time was right. And he senses, like Sly and Gangie did earlier, that someone besides the Squire is pulling the strings. 

Then Gangie suddenly hears Constance’s distressed voice through the pipes from upstairs: “Father you’re possessed! You’re a mad man! This will never work. Speak of this to me never again.” And she slams the door (Buck, Daisy, and Gangie all hear). Constance comes downstairs and Squire Badger follows, looking upset. Mrs. M checks in on him too see if he’s eaten and he kind of gruffly has her follow him (along with Mr. Harding) into the drawing room.

There is a scream. Something drops. Silence. Footsteps. A door opens. Then a voice, “My God!”

Everyone rolls initiative. Ian moves first and, upon hearing all the commotion, gathers everyone together to go towards the sound (interesting choice but sure). Daisy recognizes that the scream heard was Mrs. M but barely knows who she is. She goes towards the commotion anyway. Gangie also goes towards the scream. Buckster grabs his gun (well he says “weapon”, but it’s gotta be a gun, right?) and makes like he’s following her but actually hides. Lars and Sylvester go towards the scream. 

With everyone gathered, Ambrose opens the door. Inside they see Mrs. M, her hands covered in blood (my guess? From trying to stop the bleeding), kneeling on the ground over the dead body of the Squire. The room is a mess and stuff is scattered everywhere. There is a bloody knife in the Squire’s hand and a stab wound over his heart. Ms. M, who is distressed as hell, says there was something wrong with him. There was a flash, and she looked down and he was stabbing himself. Everyone thinks this is suspicious as hell. She was the only one in the room. Everyone looks to Sly, the famous detective who is not in the presence of a murder case in progress. What does Sly say? “Lady Lucretia. I’ve seen a ghost.”

Case Notes

I have to acknowledge how ON FIRE Grant was this episode. Like everyone was. Buck was great with the Squire. Daisy and Lars sniping at each other was fun. But man Grant had so many good lines. The “move your nose”. The heartbreak with Daisy (ugh, so sad!) And that blackout line!!! I am biased towards foxes as you can see from my avatar so I am very here for this great fox rep.

Based on the way their staredown went last ep I kinda thought Daisy was the wronged party but ugh. Slyyyyyyy. He forgave herrrrrrr. And he still went to the alter. Daisy how you could youuuuuuu?

Also, sigh, Fox and the Hound. I keep getting hit with these after the fact. 

I loved Rekha’s “Of the Chase Sapphire’s?” improv.

That racoon/mink line was so sleazy. Weird compliment but Brennan is good at being animal-racist. Sidenote, Daisy makes a comment about being careful being a fox in England which I presume is a ref to fox hunting and like the implication of that are como se dice troubling. 

Here are all the new NPCs for this ep and here’s a full NPC guide that also includes the list of names Gangie gave Buck which Buck shares with Daisy this ep.

And on that topic I can’t get over the concept of a married couple named Millie Molton and Mollie Milton. Like, did they get married solely for the bit???

The best Ian-ism of the ep was him talking about getting rejected from Siberia. Poor guy.

Fave OOC moment was everyone at the table getting aggressively patriotic in response to the Squire being dismissive to Buck. There is nothing funnier than someone singing a purposefully overwrought version of I’m Proud to Be An American. 

“It’s 2020 for us bitch!”

The moment Mrs. M said she was gonna make Gangie a sweater I was scared for her. Sweaters take a long time to get made. I was like oh no. The plot is gonna stop you from making that sweater isn’t it. I’m willing to be proven wrong (Brennan loves his maids with secrets, see: Cathilda) but she seems super sweet and if anything happens to her I’m going to be upset. 

What’s behind the painting Brennan. I know there’s a door. I know this house is full of secret tunnels and revolving bookshelves and all that. Let me see it!

One great little moment was when there was a flash of lightning and the minis for Sly and Lars like stop motion moved to look at it. Just great attention to detail. The work that gets put into this show is incredible.

Edit: A note I forgot to mention. There’s gotta be a secret door in the room where it happened, right? Like, creep in, flash of light to mess up her vision, do some shenanigans, peace out.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

jawbone from fantasy high or adaine abernant from fh

both because I love them

Jawbone O’Shaughnessy:

 Sexuality Headcanon: pan as hell my man. Jawbone fucks too severely to be literally anything else. 

Gender Headcanon: werewolves are the ultimate transmasc metaphor creature anyway so fuck it, Jawbone is a trans dude. 

A ship I have with said character: I mean basic as hell because this is canon but Jawbone and Sandra Lynn are VERY cute :3 

A BROTP I have with said character: let him hang with Gorthalax! and honestly Gilear, I think Jawbone and Gorthalax could be a really good influence on him if he could get over the fact that they’ve both boned his ex wife. stop being weird about it, Gil, you need friends. 

A NOTP I have with said character: idk I mean don’t make his relationship with any of the kids weird I guess?? but I haven’t seen anyone doing that because the people of the dimension 20 fandom have taste and standards. 

A random headcanon: I just want to see him like sitting in his office with a mug of tea casually itching his ear with one of his feet like a dog. I think he does that. 

General Opinion over said character: 100/10, love love love. I literally have a sticker of him on my laptop, he’s the ideal character. 

Adaine Abernant:

Sexuality Headcanon: mmmmm ace lesbian unless anything in season 2 proves that wildly inaccruate. don’t tell me if it does, I’ll get there when I get there.

Gender Headcanon: that’s a whole Cis Girl(TM)   

A ship I have with said character: idk man I think she’s fine as is but it would be cute if her and Kristen were dating a little

A BROTP I have with said character: every other bad kid but her and Fig being bffs is my favorite thing. they’re basically stepsisters now, yes?  

A NOTP I have with said character: I mean the idea of Adaine being romantically involved with any of the boys makes me want to scream, so

A random headcanon: Adaine can drive IN THEORY but god she’s so bad at it. it stressed her out so much you guys she gets so nervous, do not make her do it. everyone will hate it.   

General Opinion over said character: darling baby wizard, anxiety queen. I want only good things for her ever. perf.

[dapper-nahrwhale]

Encourage you to write aus and post some stuff saw you say something about that so do it 💌

Asoakahag ok I did ask for that.

The most recent fantasy high au thats been invading my brain is an amusement park au where the bad kids all work there. Its got like no rules, actual children in charge of operating rides and being lifeguards and it's insane. It's kinda set in the 80s still with fantasy stuff tho (Mostly inspired by watching a bunch of action park documentaries)

(Starts off like a documentary, dialogue with intros and then flashbacks to scenes in between)

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Oh, um, I am Gorgug Thistlespring and I was an employee for The Augefort Adventuring Park. I was in charge of the moving rides like coasters and stuff."

"Great. So what was your experience working there?"

"Well working there was not uh very safe?- Wait is Augefort going to see this because he already didn't like me much for some reason, but talking bad about him is just asking for trouble."

"I would think that won't be a problem now."

"Ah right, yeah, I forgot sorry."

"Thats fine. Now back to the question, what was it like?"

"When I worked there, well I was only there for a few seasons, my parents heard the rumors, well not rumors they were true, and got concerned about it all. Makes sense. I still miss it a bit though. Not much because yeah there were a bunch of injuries on the rides. Like that was a daily occurrence. People would get sent to the medic all the time I'm sure thay they got overwhelmed and didnt have enough supplies. I dont remember. Well Kristen would know more."

"Interesting, and what was you're job specifically?"

"Oh I was one of the crew who operated the rides and would fix them when they broke. Which was fairly often. I was not good at it. At first. I got better though. Because my parents are engineers and they taught me some. And probably not enough because I was a kid in charge of these huge electronic rides that never worked right."

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Riz Gukgak, licensed private investigator."

"And former position please."

"... I was the guy that they would stuck in the Tube of Death to clean it out. I'm small so I could fit. It got pretty bloody in there even with all the water going through it. And I was stuck in the moter city circuit area most of the time. Unfortunately, that was next to the water areas and the smog from the moter cars and machines would get mixed with the chlorine of the pools and create this toxic cloud."

"Huh. I did not know that. What was it like working there? And why did you choose to work at the park?"

"Working there? It was wild. I mean you had just kids there, anyone who could look 14 would get hired to work the park. Child labor laws really meant nothing to them. Legally they did alot of messed up stuff. Insurance fraud, negligence, manslaughter at one point, cause you know how many people got hurt there? I mean some people died even. It was scary. And any lawsuit you could think up. Of course they won most of the suits."

"Well you certainly know alot. But you still didn't answered my questions."

"Oh I got a job there specifically to investigate all the weird stuff going on there."

"At 14?"

"At 14. I should not have been hired."

"Yes I agree to that."

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Gilear Faeth, I was the lunch lad."

"Um I'm sorry, lunch lad?"

"Yes. That is what the children and Augefort called me. Quite alot. I was also the vice president, but mostly I was the lunch lad."

"Ok then hm." The sound of paper and pen writing down ferociously.

"Now what exactly did your job entail."

"Well one of the things I had to do as lunch lad was take all the week old stale hot dog buns and place them in a colander with hot water to make them less stale. But then they were soggy so I would put them in the oven."

"I'm sorry... what? No I meant what did you do as the vice president?"

"Oh much less than soggy hot dog buns. I actually had very little influence on the park. I would say I actually had such little influence that I was the lunch lad more than i was the vice president. In fact when I was vice president I had a much worse time and was fired and rehired so many times it was unbearable."

"Uh ok moving on."

"Actually my daughter got me the job of lunch lad and vice principal. Well she's not technically my daughter, Fig was raised by me but I am not biologically her dad. But she is very insistent that she is still my daughter and now has multiple dads."

"Yes, well the question-."

A crinkling sound from Gilears mike, muffles his voice.

"Apologies, but sir I think your mike is-"

"Oh, no"

A high pitched feedback sounds from his mike.

"Oh god someone please fix that!"

"I am so terribly sorry about this-"

"Cut his mike! God that sound!"

Static.

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Kristen Applebees-O'Shaughnessey and I was the medic for the infirmary of the Adventure park. Well one of two medics. The other is my wife! I love her."

"Well ok then, is she available too right now?"

"Oh nah, Tracker has got this religious cleric thing to do. I mean could be doing that with her, but instead I'm talking to you about that old danger park."

"The Augefort Adventuring Park."

"Right that thing."

"Ok then, let's get to it."

"Well I don't really remember much."

"What do you remember?"

"Yeah I mostly would hook up with Tracker in the employee shed."

"I did not need to know that."

"Well that's what I remember the most of the park."

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"I am Fabian Aramais Seacaster-"

"Sir please stop shouting."

"Oh right. Sorry. Well I was the best lifeguard in the entire Adventuring park!

"Didn't multiple people get hurt on your watch? Many times? Not an isolated incident either. This happened many times. "

"Well yes but these things do happen. Isn't that just in the nature of adventure though! For exciting things to happen!"

"Not for a park no, generally its frowned upon when people get hurt."

"Well if people don't want to get hurt they shouldnt have gone to The Adventuring Park. It is very much dangerous."

"That is something we can agree on."

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Well you should know who I am! C'mon!"

"Um I still need you to say it for the record."

"Ok! Well I'm Fig Faeth of Fig and the Sig Figs fame!"

"And your former position."

"I was supposed to be on the moter city thing but I'd usually dump that on Riz to do and go smoke or something."

-

"Yeah and Fig would always shirk her duties on me to go gods knows where."

-

"I'd go to the parking lot and throw bottles at the ground from the tall construction equipment. That was fun. Everyone did it. We just didnt invite Riz becaus he's such a buzzkill."

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"Wait they did what without me? That's so dangerous. And I am not a buzzkill!"

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"Oh Riz is not a buzzkill. He's more of a fun withholder. Like he will tell in you if you're having any fun."

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"Thank you Fabian! Wait no I am fun."

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"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Adaine Abernant. And is this really necessary? I mean I dont mind doing it but-"

"Well yes. I want to discover everything about The Adventuring park to make sure something like it doesnt happen again."

"What do you mean 'happen again'?"

"I have been thinking about reopening the Park. Of course making everything much safer and less chaotic and less deadly."

"Oh that's going to be extremely difficult but I am very excited for you, [REDACTED]!

"Ah please refrain from using my name, as this is all supposed to be a surprise."

"Alright. Well if you want any help with it I would be perfectly fine with that."

"Thank you very much Adaine. I will take that into consideration. Now back to the questions."