#were they really just doomed from the beginning?? ;-;
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DEVOTIONS WEEK DAY 6: FRIENDLY/PARANOIA
â Listen, â Spoke begins, sitting with his legs apart and leaning on them, on a block of netherite in the middle of the dupe vault, â I know that I've been acting strangely lately, right?
â That's not the right word,â Mapicc grumbles â he stands leaning against a wall of beacons, arms crossed, â a little more, and you would have completely switched to riddles.
â I know, I know, I'm sorry, â Spoke raises his hands, showing that he gives up, â I thought to keep everything to myself â here, you know, such a delicate matter, anyone can break everything, â he hesitates, â but then I realized that the simplest way to get you in my way is to keep you in the dark.
â I wish I could say you're wrong, â Zam stammers, â but you're probably completely right. To be honest, I've been very worried about you these last few days, all you've been doing is saying mystical phrases and refusing to clarify, I already thought that you were betraying us.
â Fair enough,â Spoke nods, â I'll tell you. But this has to stay just between the three of us. No one else has to find out; otherwise, everything will be at risk. Do you understand?
â What about Ro, â Mapicc interrupts, â even he can't know?
â He can't. Neither Roshambogames, nor TheTerrain, nor Vortexdragon. Just the two of you. It should be a secret from everyone. I can only tell you two.
Mapicc gives him a dark look and shakes his head â suspects, does not believe â but does not continue.
Zam looks at him from under his brows. Even now, holding on to different walls, he and Mapicc feel like one team, â what's the matter, Spoke?
He grins.
â This is a large-scale plan that originates before the start of the season. A glitch capable of determining the order of this world for years to come. The vulnerability is in the very code of reality. The whole dupe war is just part of the setup for it, and when the plan is put into action, nothing that happens at the level of ordinary players will cease to matter.
â Are you going to end this world? â asks Zam with unreadable emotion.
â Oh, Zam, â Spoke shakes his head, â I'm going to do a lot more.
***
â I just can't take it seriously anymore, â Zam shares, gnawing on a cookie. â Ro and his plans, â clarifies, â all his plans, you know? What difference does it make if Spoke turns the server into his playground very soon?
â He's having fun, â Mapicc shrugs, â weren't you having fun?
â Not really. I tried, because you are my team, but I never got better. It's not my thing.
â But you're so calm about the Wormhole. How is this better?
â It takes any responsibility out of the hands of the players, â Zam shakes his head, â what difference does it make if someone has an op? This world is obviously doomed, and you are my team, so why would I bother?
â I don't understand how you think. â And, distracted instantly, â I would have told him, but Spoke is right. The information is too sensitive. He's already taken a big risk by including us in.
â I would not like to fail to meet his expectations.
â I wouldn't want to mess up his plan. It's cool.
â It is... It's cruel, â Zam snorts, dragging his fingers along the masonry floor of the base. A modest poppy is breaking through the seams, â but I will not stop it. I respect Spoke. But, you know what?
â Hmm?Â
â Spoke will regret it.
***
â How would you explain it at all, mind who? â Vi throws up his hands. A helpless expression is stuck on his face.
â We didn't like our team anymore, and we came for an interview, â Zam calmly replies, hanging down to see the swirling thick fog.
â To a secret base?... â Vi ironically clarifies, and Zam, grunting, nods, as if it was absolutely normal and definitely not crazy.
â I mean, â Mapicc grins â he, unlike Zam, sticks to the wall, clearly not feeling safe, â the fact that we were able to find it quite counts for passing the test. Not that it was difficult, of course.
â You know we're going to war against you, right? â Subz remarks skeptically, clearly not seeing the need to keep this in his sleeve, â against Ro and Mapicc in the first place, but also against Zam and even Spoke, too.
â Publicly, fight as many as you want, â Mapicc snorts; for him, the idea that he could lead to a decrease in the amount of violence on the server would definitely be unthinkable, â we are here unofficially. As colleagues. We came to say hello and find out how you are here. How are you doing with your idiotic emocult.
Subz facepalms. Vi sighs heavily.
â You shouldn't have been included, â Vi grumbles, but he doesn't sounds angry. â the more people know, the higher the chance that information leaks out.
â You can't return what has been done, â Zam shrugs his shoulders. â but hey, we're your best bet, we keep secrets well, remember the dupe war? â he grins, â we will be friends, Vi, don't worry. Do you remember the end of the season 3? I do.
There is a deadly silence. It is interrupted by Mapicc:
â So, where's the sacrifice room or something?
***
â I don't really like all of this, â Zam sadly admits, poking at the side of a po potion, â it creates too much imbalance between the players. If Spoke gets an op, he will be the only one with absolute power. But now... They're just mortals playing gods. You may be immortal and omnipotent, but you're still human, actually. It's stupid.
â I can understand that,â Mapicc nods. â the way Ro shot Pangi? Absolutely not necessary. Bro, bro, you can pick up a sword and kill him yourself.Â
â Yes... â Zam pulls, â I understand the thirst for power and advantage, but what's the point if all this is illegal and doesn't really belong to you? This is... wrong. I wouldn't want it all to be on the server.
â Do you want to betray Spoke? â Mapicc asks imperturbably, and Zam flinches.
â No... No, â he stammers, â of course I don't like it, but there's no point in betrayal. Of course, I can try to take illegal items from people and dump them into the lava, but it will never work. And Spoke will be a god very soon, and none of this will matter anymore. If he wants to, he will remove all these toys. If he wants to, he will give them to absolutely everyone. Then why do anything at all?
â You could tell Parrot what's going on, â Mapicc suggests disinterestedly, and Zam snorts.
â To him? It's too late, the illegal items are already on the server. Spoke has too much pressure on him.
â It must be hard for you,â Mapicc says suddenly.
â Why?Â
â Things are wrong for you, and your prospects are meaningless.
â Isn't that true? â Zam is surprised.
â Who knows, â Mapicc shrugs, â I'm not inclined to overthink as you do, but I know that wherever I am, any decision I make counts. â And with a well-aimed blow, he smashes the bottle of potion into the wall.
***
â It's, like, pretty decent,â Zam comments when they get high enough to regard the position as private.
â Who, your self-esteem? â Mapicc laughs it off and intercepts his trident, which is almost completely blackened by the number of effects.
â The Wormhole, â Zam replies with a smile, and Mapicc looks up.
Below them is a huge war for a twisted and broken world. Above them â a blueâblue-purple funnel continues to spin inexorably.
â Well, at least something good came out of it. â Mapicc shakes his head.
â No, there's something else, â Zam adds meekly.
â And what is it?
â It will never happen again.
Mapicc clicks his tongue and nods, understanding.
â You're right about that. Once and never again.
#no beta i died like a person at 6 am (it is 6 am)#7 day maybe someday i have an idea but it requires actual weeks of the olanning#i thought i can pull it up butnit cant#lsdevotionweek#d.fics#devotion duo#mapicc#princezam#spokeishere#fanfiction
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Get yourself patched up already!
#trigun#trigunedit#trigun stampede#vashwood#vash#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#wolfwood#trigun spoilers#trigun stampede spoilers#mine#gif:trigun#how am i supposed to be okay after this ep ;-;#i loved that wolfwood said how vash knew about him.. i think i had this idea that vash knew since ep 4#like he accepted that everything about that situation was inevitable.. so he went along iwth it ;-;#were they really just doomed from the beginning?? ;-;#this angst is so good#scars //#blood //#tristamp#tristampedit
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mouf
#ok idk if youve seen it yet but im super into mouthwashing the videogame as of rn#it's an instant modern classic no doubt about it the narrative is PERFECT#the only criticism id give is the end being a bit drawn out but we love when horror allows itself to be cinematic#and you know me in this blog how i instantly latch onto whatever gay ship there is for any given piecd of media?#NOT this time ABSOLUTELY NOT#not even considering it im being dead serious#the 'popular' m/m ship from this game has to be one of the most dysfunctional abusive ones there'll ever be#not even in a fun drama angst it gets bad before it gets better way it's just Bad throughout#absolutely doomed from the beginning#and the worst part is that it's actually Really easy to see guy A is unhealthily obsessed with and idolizing of guy B#who is nice and forgiving to the point of being an enabler#but it'd be awful awful awful were it to ever happen im not joking#anyway VERY GOOD GAME PLS PLAY IT if you're into psychological horror and can handle its multiple potentially triggering themes ofc#FUCK I MISPELLED PIECE
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reading other short stories and novels and essays and interviews from sapkowski is so satisfying because not only are these fun to read in of themselves but when my mind returns to the witcher i am like
#i just read maladie :) ive had the translation on hand for a while but only now got around to reading it#so. give it up for: doomed lovers. subverting the legend. love as illness. deathbeds. avalon and the rudderless boat.#i feel like i understand a little sacrifice way more now for some reason. NOT just the love as illness BUT#iseult of the white hands telling tristan that iseult of the golden hair was indeed on the ship in this retelling by sapkowski when#in the general way it goes (as what i gleaned from wikipedia) she lied in jealousy and told him the sails were black#maladie joins the group of 'i thought this would be really difficult to understand without the background knowledge...'#'... but it only took two to three wikipedia pages to make sure i understood what's going on'#and again no i probably didn't catch every reference or even understand perfectly. it's a first read after all#but did i have fun? was i emotionally moved? YES!#after reading tandaradei! i am like 90% more understanding of what he meant by the whole 'eyes of ugly girls' thing from the last wish#me beginning the story and it's going on about how she's not pretty: 'jeez i dont see how that's really relevant man'#me ending the story and it ends like *that*: 'I SEE.... I SEEEEEE i got it OK'#LITERALLY i feel validated though because that was how I INTERPRETED IT... it's about society. her psychology. not her looks.#it's about the CRUELTY OF OTHERS which THEN BECOMES the CRUELTY OF THE GIRL!!!#the 'girl is mistreated. girl goes WILD' recurring story. art should disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed#come on... it's like carrie x the vvitch x midsommar
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I just wanna reiterate how much I love the juxtaposition of how dazai speaks to odasaku vs chuuya in the beginning of dead apple
He's like odasaku my beloved and chuuya kys gremlin
Like I'm watching the English dub and the change in vocal tone from like really soft to overly bright mean girl bullying really shows the different relationship dynamics
Like he doesn't bicker with odasaku or play around with him but he is absolutely fond of him and cares pretty deeply about him
And with chuuya I honestly have no idea if he actually likes him as a person but they're very entertaining and volatile together
#once again im saying odasakus his fridged wife and#chuuyas like his ex but they're cool (not really) but also they hated each other from the beginning but like obsessively (gay)#just idk chuuya is like his foil his matched piece they CANNOT get along they were made for each other no one can tolerate them#and odasaku is the only person hes ever loved but it was doomed from the start#TRAGIC#its really late and im in my feels#bsd
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YouTube yesterday: Hey btw The Longest Johns just released a song about Horatio Nelson's death.
Me: Cool, excuse me as I stare off into space and think about L'Manburgian soldiers' reaction to hearing about Kiril's dying to withering whenever I play the song.
#regicide au#like yes I know realistically Kiril would be a bit of a controversial figure in L'Manburg#his father (and ancestry in general tbh) represents centuries of colonialism and oppression#like ffs you can't just walk into a place like Pogtopia going 'hi I promise I'm a good Krafta'#when you've had to spend the past few years drastically unlearning all the colonialist propaganda you were fed as a child#anyway Artur is representative of continuing the oppression of an entire people no matter how hard you have to grind your boot on them#while Kiril represents the effort to at least make a start on fixing the mistakes of the past#with liberation in the hopes that will open the door for reparations etc#not that he ever expects to see that because he'll be dead from fratricide#(not to mention shit like that will take generations for the wounds to begin healing so no veteran of this war will live to see it either)#he still wants to do *something* as a way to work towards that better future though#a war of independence sure as fuck wasn't what he imagined but 'the universal language is violence' yada yada#it certainly seems to be Artur's universal language#and Kiril gains an even better image of himself as a general who is willing to fight and potentially die with his soldiers#those under his command absolutely have deep respect for him thanks to how he conducts himself#...and then the withered arrows start flying#people are going to end up talking about how he never let on he was hit himself#he simply visited the affected soldiers in the infirmary some of whom were doomed to die in one of the worst ways possible#then he was gone. just grabbed by his brother so he could be killed in Rayusel (or away from the public eye in general)#rumours are going to fly about all sorts of things pertaining to Kiril's final hours but one thing is for sure#there is going to be grief amongst the soldiers who loved him#'let him die in peace' ...yeah they really are going to hope that somehow he didn't suffer as much as a typical withering victim#god I am just shaking this song vigourously by its shoulders I swear
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Initiation!
Synopsis. âJust a small initiation, nothing too serious.â Couldnât be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader, Geto Suguru x Reader, Fushiguro Toji x Reader, brief Nanami x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, fratboy! JJK men, gangbang, frat sweetheart! reader, cumplay, choking, oral (male + female), anal, double penetration, cunnilingus, Suguru is MEAN - so is everyone else, some heinous things idek how to tag, unprotected, no curses! AU, marking, pet names (princess, darling, doll), swearing.
Word count. 4.8k
A/N. Am not the same person I was before I wrote thisâŚ
Art by @_3aem on X.
Tequila was your best friend when Suguru and Satoru werenât around.
Which is probably why you were five shots deep before 9pm, heavy bass thrumming through your veins and sleek tabletop steady under your rocky heels.
Everything was a blur. The pulsing neon lights, cheers following your every sway and twirl, and the atmosphere heavy with beer and laughter in that heady Jujutsu Phi frat house.Â
You almost miss that familiar flash of cloudy white locks and those narrowed black eyes greedily watching your hips to the beat. Almost.Â
An excited exclamation of âThereâs our all-new sweetheart!â. And the world tilts.
Falling down really does feel good. Especially when the ground is so warm - and smells faintly of overpriced cologne.Â
âCareful, there, Satoru. Wouldnât wanna hurt the sweetheart right before initiation.âÂ
A pair of strong arms underneath you, and a deep voice hot against your ear. âHavinâ a lotta fun without us, huh?â
Oh, youâd recognize those devastatingly handsome faces anywhere. You blink, eyebrows furrowed slightly at your best friends as you tried to focus on their words. âSweetheart? Me?â
To your right, Suguru nods slowly, a sly smile playing on his lips. âAbsolutely. Who else? No one better we can think of, darling.âÂ
Satoruâs eager voice chimes in, âAs presidents, and the only men to binge Bridgerton with you, we love you. The frat brothers love you too, especially our supervisor.â
âMmm, I dunno. What do I hafta do?â face heating and words slurring together, in your alcohol-induced haze, you miss the devilish glance shared between the two.Â
Satoru chuckles, a dark glint in his eyes, âJust a small initiation, nothing too serious.â
Your laughter is infectious, and without much hesitation you raise your empty shot glass in toast, âHmm, deal! To the newest frat sweetheart! How hard can it be?â
---
The consequences arenât half as fun as the chaos.
Wincing at the dull ache reverberating in your head, you struggle to make sense of your surroundings in the dim lighting. Still disoriented and bleary-eyed, you sink into soft navy bed sheets.
Ah, soft. So soft. Warm, with a tinge of candied apples.
Satoru.
Slight panic setting in, and Satoruâs room swaying ever-so-slightly, you try to will away the overplayed pop pounding from the party still raging below - focusing on the whispered conversation at the foot of the bed..
â---blast at the party------â
â------frat---sweetheart.â
Head snapping up in a daze, the word âsweetheartâ echoes in your ears.Â
Something heated and prickly pools in your stomach as fragments of memories from not too long ago begin to piece themselves together.Â
Your dawning realization - and sense of impending doom - is interrupted by a soft hum of delight
âWell, well, look whoâs finally awake - our dear sweetheart.â Satoru teases, while Suguru, with his arms crossed, chuckles.
Liquor suddenly nowhere on your mind, your heart races - something about the suggestive gleam in their eyes doesnât exactly ease your nerves. Your cheeks flare, the room feels suddenly smaller, the air thicker.Â
You sit up, rubbing your temples, and the two of them exchange loaded glances that send shivers creeping down your spine.
Satoru pushes himself off the wall with a devious smirk, taking a deliberate step closer. âHowâs our sweetheart feeling? You knocked out for a good hour or two, yâknow. Was almost worried youâd miss the initiation~â
âWhat the fuck did I agree to?â you mutter to yourself. Yet, Suguru answers anyway, his voice a dangerous purr, âJust a little test of courage, darling. But donât you worry; weâll take very good care of you.â
Satoru nods, his gaze intense. âItâs all in good fun, princess. Youâll see.â His warm breath grazes your face as they tower over you, inching closer and closer. âNow, you wouldnât go back on your word, would you?â
Goosebumps erupt along your shoulders at the proximity - and the realization - all the way down to where your thighs were desperately squeezing together. Shit.
Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru. It was hard to be best friends with them for years and not hear about the whispered rumors of how they were in bed. Enough to send a woman to heaven - or the hospital - they said. And you couldnât deny that ugly little part of you that was sinfully curious.
A beat passes in the suddenly charged air. As if they were waiting. Studying your reaction - like predators stalking their cornered prey. Will you run away? Will you fight? Will you submit to them completely?
The room is silent, except for the distant thump of the music below, seemingly miles away.Â
One. Two
Finally - not trusting yourself to speak - you manage a nod.Â
Darkened blue eyes meet Suguruâs half-lidded ones, a silent understanding passing between them before resting on you - splayed out on the bed and tight dress hiking up so enticingly.
Oh.Â
Oh, shit. You were in for it.
Without warning, Satoru surges forward, lips catching yours in a bruising kiss. You whine against his soft lips, the distinct taste of Baileys and Satoru completely filling your senses - you almost donât register the slow, purposeful trail of kisses Suguru leaves down your heated neck. Almost.
Skin searing where his lips linger along your jawline, Suguru murmurs, vibrations sending a jolt of electricity right to your core. âShhh, relax, darling. Weâll take care of everything.â
Maybe it was the way Suguruâs words were dripping in lust and something dangerous, tongue darting out to lick a long, sensual stripe up your neck.
Or maybe it was the way Satoru was sloppily licking at your lips, thumb pushing your chin down to suck on your tongue with his candy lips. But the room was spinning - and this time, it wasnât the alcohol.Â
âT-Toru- Sugu-â a muffled whine you barely even recognize rips from the back of your throat - and it was like something snapped. Maybe their restraint, maybe their sanity - definitely you by the end of this.
A hand hot on your thigh - Suguruâs or Satoruâs? You donât have the time to wonder, the sequins hit the ground before you even realize what is happening.Â
Skin-tight dress now in tatters on Satoruâs carpeted floor, you shudder as the cold air hits your heated skin. Large hands everywhere. Cupping your ass, tweaking your hardened nipples through your bra. Leaving your underwear in such a disarray as if it killed them to see you clothed.
âShit. Suguru, look at this.â Satoruâs groans lowly, predatory gaze transfixed on the sight of your dripping cunt..
âOh fuck, darling. Were you all ready and expecting this, hm? Our perfect lilâ slut.â Suguruâs smiles sinfully as he looms closer, a long finger playing teasingly with the thin fabric of your now-soaked panties.
You buck your hips, desperate for more fiction, as a manicured nail lightly grazes your swollen folds. Shit, and you thought Suguru would be the nicer of the two. âPlease, Sugu.â
âNow now. Behave, darling. Wouldnât want to get off on a wrong start to the initiation.â Suguru hums, pulling off your panties completely as Satoruâs iron-hold grip on your hips pin you helplessly to the bed. You struggle pathetically, leaking pussy aching for more more more.
And Satoru - your ever-merciful Satoru - listens to your desperate keens. Because, agonizingly slow, he drops to his knees, eye-level with your quivering pussy.Â
âIâll be taking this as payment, princess.â he hums, hot breath hitting your cunt in a way that almost makes you miss the way he snatches your wet panties right out of Suguruâs hands. As if a prize to be won.
Your face burns at the humiliation - or maybe at the way strong hands wrestle your thighs open. You gasp at the burn of the stretch, tense air grazing your throbbing clit as Suguru lets out a low whistle in appreciation.
You were so exposed. So vulnerable. And these fuckers hadnât even taken off their goddamn shirts yet.Â
Mouth opening to retort - or maybe beg for an ounce of friction, just anything that would-
Bang!
Dazed, you whirl your head towards where the door had now slammed open. In your lust-induced haze, you barely register the notion that someone else was going to see you so spread so shamefully and dripping all over Satoruâs sheets. Ah, they were going to scream. They were going to run away-
âAww, already started without me?â a deep voice rumbles, raspy, dangerous. âShit, these two brats werenât kiddinâ, youâre such a doll, arenât you?âÂ
Satoruâs smirk grows at the slick pooling at your core as you make out just who it was that stood so imposingly at the door.Â
Toji Fushiguro.
Someone youâd heard of more than youâd seen - for several reasons. Known around campus as the long-standing supervisor for Jujutsu Phi, but known more popularly amongst students as the man with a dick to die for.
The shutting of the heavy wooden door reverberates across the electrifying air inside. Your mouth drops into a soft oh as you spot the rock-hard cock straining furiously against Tojiâs trousers, a dark patch of precum already pooling at the tip.
Oh. No wonder they say his dick can split you in half.Â
Eyes following his every purposeful step towards the bed, you absent-mindedly wonder whether your best friends were hiding a matching achingly hard cocks.Â
âOh, fuck yes. Such a pretty pussy.â Toji appraises your cunt, greedily eyeing the way your walls flutter around nothing, slick pooling where Satoru was but a few inches away from where you needed him the most.
âYo, old man. Catch.â Satoruâs voice rings in the loaded air. Muscled arms flexing, Toji easily catches the flimsy piece of fabric thrown at him, a lecherous smile growing as he realizes what it is. âMâgonna have a lot of fun with you, doll.â
âDonât count us out now, Toji. Iâll be making sure sheâs absolutely ruined.â Suguruâs slow, sinful drawl has your head spinning.
Probably for the first time in his life, Satoru doesnât speak.
Instead, he dives nose-deep in your cunt. Pretty ruby lips meeting your swollen ones, urgently lapping up your sweet juices, as if a man dying of thirst.
âHah- Oh! Toru!â you whine, hips bucking up into his hot tongue as he bullies past your folds and into your quivering entrance, hurried yet methodical. You could feel Satoruâs lips curling at the lewd whimpers ripping from your throat. Bruising grip on your hips pulling you impossibly deeper onto his greedy tongue.Â
He wastes no time - stretching you out on his tongue so sinfully, dipping in and out of your dripping hole at a merciless pace. In and out in and out in and-
âHope you didnât forget us, darling. Iâd be heartbroken.â Suguruâs mocking words ring in your ears. Not completely present with Satoruâs dizzying abuse on your cunt, you can do nothing as Suguru snakes a hand down to your heated core.Â
âDonât move, doll.âÂ
And before you know it, two more sets of hands are unforgivingly on you.
All you can do is just lay there and take it as Suguruâs cruel, slender fingers tease your folds, up and down up and down - pointedly skipping your throbbing clit. A languid, sadistic smile spreads across his face as you whine in desperation.
Where Satoru was generous and impatient, Suguru wanted to make you cry. How could you ever have thought heâd be the nice one?
Hasty lips are on yours now, a small scar rubbing your lips in a way that so obscenely reminded you of the tongue still ruthlessly fucking into you right now. Pulling away mere centimeters, Toji murmurs lowly, âOpen your mouth.â
As if on auto-pilot, you groan as Toji's steady stream of spit hits your ready tongue. Eyes rolling to the back of your head at the warm feeling, tasting of sin and everything you shouldnât be doing.
Thick, calloused fingers squeeze your cheeks together, his spit now drooling down the corner of your mouth. âNow, show me what those pretty lips can do.â Toji grits out.Â
Your eyes widen as he pulls down his pants just enough for his furiously hard cock to spring free, sculpted thighs straddling the side of your face.Â
Thick and unforgiving. A prominent vein twirling delicately down his monstrous length. Precum leaking onto his sculpted abdomen, dripping erotically down to mix with your soaked underwear in his veined hand gripping the base.
Nervous eyes flitting between Tojiâs bulging cock in front of you, to the slick dripping down Suguruâs wrist, and Satoruâs hooded eyes, miles away, and grinning devilishly around your cunt - youâre sure of one thing - youâd be damn lucky to make it out alive.
Tojiâs throbbing head pokes your kiss-bitten lips, precum salty on your tongue. He spares no mercy.
âCâmon now. If youâre actinâ like such a cockslut then learn to take it like one.â Searing grip on your hair, Toji pushes his cock all the way down your ready throat, using your mouth as if it was nothing more than his favorite fucktoy. Maybe youâll become his favorite fucktoy.
Your pathetic, wet gurgles mix with the lewd squelches of your cunt as Tojiâs heavy balls hit your chin. Fat head hitting the back of your throat and your nose pressed into the tufts of thick, black hair at his pelvis. âMmm fuck yeah.â he groans, thick fingers pressing around your neck to feel his dick down your throat.Â
Drawing low hisses as you tongue at his slit, you breath in the heady scent of Toji and you on your panties and Toji-
âLook sâpretty gagging on his cock, darling.â Suguruâs voice is still silken smooth, mockingly pressing a kiss to your cheek. Pooling the trail of spit and precum on his tongue, before licking a long, languid stripe.
âF-fucking freak.â Toji huffs out a laugh, relishing the way you moan so lewdly around his cock. âOh? You like that, doll? Little slut, arenât ya?â
A dangerous chuckle, and heâs thrusting animalistically into your poor, pretty mouth. Balls tightening each time his thick cock disappears into your mouth, lips stretching almost-painfully to accommodate him. Tojiâs hand closes tighter around your throat, blocking your airway. Making you choke and gasp for air around his cock, blood roaring in your ears.
Shit, he was going to break you.
Suguruâs clever mouth was on your aching tits now, jolts of electricity going straight to your cunt as he tweaks and teases your hardened nipples. Thumb rubbing harshly over your sensitive tip the way he wouldnât with your clit. Over and over-
âSuguru, gimme the bra.â you whine, hips bucking as Satoruâs muffled words send vibrations exactly where you wanted.
In a flash, your bra is unclasped and thrown to Satoru. Wrapping it around one large hand, it disappears where you cannot see. Yet the jerky, impatient movements of his hand below - up, up, up - and down have your walls clamping down desperately on Satoruâs tongue.
Ah, he looked so pretty when he was shut up with his mouth full of your dripping cunt. Fucked out whimpers leave Satoruâs throat at each flick of his tongue, fucking your pretty pussy with his mouth till you felt raw.
Suguru - the ever-graceful Suguru - had his brows furrowed desperately. Lips messy with spit as he bites and teases your nipples hard, making you cry out in wet, little gurgles that muffle around the throbbing erection in your mouth, fucking into you with reckless abandon. Tojiâs heavy balls stinging your face as he bottoms out with each harsh shove down your throat.Â
He didnât care if you could breathe - as long as you sucked the ever-loving soul out of him.
The heady air is urgent now. Hasty movements now becoming more and more frenzied. Mindless with lust. Filthy. Debauched. It was so fucking sinful.Â
So it only made sense that your orgasm was the same.
You see white as you cum - or maybe that was the hot, thick ropes of seed that Toji painted your face with. Moans muffled and hips bucking deliriously, you moan breathlessly as neither of the three men give up their relentless abuse.Â
Your head shot up blindly in pleasure, sharp teeth digging into your shoulder - hard enough to break skin. Suguru.Â
Wrestled down onto the bed by three sets of strong arms still groping the expanse of your body, you ride out your white-hot high on the taste of Toji slipping down your throat, Satoruâs still merciless tongue, and Suguruâs index finally pressing down on your throbbing clit. Hard.Â
Blood roaring in your ears, your vision blurs as you sink into the mattress. You think youâre in heaven, and it was only fitting that these demons with angelic faces were the first things that you see there.
âYou alright, darling? Canât have you go passing out on us mid-initiation, now.â Suguru tuts, sharing a glance with Satoru, who was absolutely dripping in satisfaction - and your slick, prettily glossing his lips and nose.
âMmm- sâfucked out. Ah-â Your violent climax leaves you limp, and you feel like a fucking ragdoll with the way Suguru wraps a steady arm around your waist, pulling you impossibly close against him. You whine as your stinging tits meet his toned body, sticky with the heat of the room. When did he even take his shirt off?Â
Satoru isnât too far behind, with little care for the buttons flinging across the room as he rips his shirt open - creamy chest peeking out in all its chiseled glory. Shit.
You almost miss the bed shifting as Toji sits on the edge, watching the three of you with greedy eyes as he fists his cum-covered cock with your panties. Teasing, purposeful movements up his length.
Suguruâs hand stroking your face, Satoruâs on your hips.
âAfter all that princess, you deserve a little treat.â Satoru purrs lowly, lips glistening with your juices and breath hot against your ear. Shivers run along your spine - right down to where he was groping and playfully swatting your ass. Darkened eyes narrowed at the way it jiggled against his large hands.Â
âT-treat? Wha-âÂ
Your disoriented stammers are stuck in your throat as Suguru shoves two long fingers into your mouth. Whatever moans leaving your lips are choked and muffled as he forces you to taste yourself.Â
Fingers intertwining with your tongue, youâre delirious with the want for more more more - and evidently, Suguru is too, throbbing and leaking with need as he pushes his soiled boxers down. Something cold makes you flinch as your quivering thigh grazes his clothed erection.Â
Oh. Who knew your best friend had a dick piercing?
âFuck, darling. Really shouldâve done this sooner.â he murmurs, voice thick with lust and more to himself than you. âMhm. You donât know how hard it was to not bend you over and stuff you till you canât speak, princess~â a whisper from behind you - Satoru.
Before you know it, Satoruâs lips find yours in a fiery kiss amidst it all. As if he couldnât get enough of the sweet taste of your cunt - and probably never will.Â
Suguru is languid and unhurried where Satoru is impatient and starved, rutting desperately against your ass.Â
Every twirl of Suguruâs finger is deliberate, leaving a trail of lingering electricity in its wake. And with searing passion, Satoruâs tongue tastes you in all the ways he possibly could. The three of you tangled in an unholy act.Â
Fuck, it was messy. So fucking messy.Â
Delicate strings of saliva and slick connecting you to the two as drool drips down the corner of your mouth, eyes scrunched closed at the sinful pleasure.
âFucking freaks.â Toji spits out, eyeing Satoruâs fingers inching closer and closer to your ass, deftly prodding at your quivering entrance. Yet, his movements only grow more urgent, fucking his fist in desperate need to cum - to cum all over you once more.
Satoru pulls away, and you shiver at the cold feeling of his saliva hitting your rim. Once. Twice. Thrice just to watch the way your hole quivers so obscenely for him.Â
In the haze of the pure want of the three men around you, it slowly dawns on you that they wonât stop until theyâve fucked you half to death. And you cunt clenches in anticipation.Â
Maybe you really were a little slut.Â
Suguru only has his flushed tip kissing your folds, but you already feel so fucking full. Maybe it was the way Satoru was now bullying long, pale fingers through that first, tight little circle of muscle. Scissoring you open, hooking a thumb to stretch your slutty hole till he was more than satisfied.Â
Through the corner of your eye, you watch Toji. Eyes half-lidded, gaze locked with yours, and looming closer towards you.Â
Before you knew it, a rough hand grasps yours, wrapping so daintily around Tojiâs fat, leaking tip. Guiding your hand, thumbing his slit to pull his dick in harsh, mindless pulls to get off. It has your sensitive cunt so heated and dripping, slick trailing down your shaky legs.Â
âSuguru, think our little sweetheart is ready? Donât think I can hold back any longer, all her pretty holes are begging me to fuck her.â
You werenât going to make it out alive. Maybe you didnât want to.
He doesnât wait for a response. Your surprised yelps are gagged on Suguruâs fingers as Satoru sheaths himself in your ready hole. A low groan ripping from his throat as you clamp down on him, struggling to bear with the delicious stretch. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, despite the panic setting in, as he pushes deeper and deeper. Inch by inch. âFuck sâtight. So tight, princess.â
Was he even halfway in? He had to be, right?
Arm now burning with the feeling of Toji fucking his throbbing erection into your fist, you risk a glance behind you, catching a glimpse of the deliciously flushed cock pressing into you. Long, pale, so pretty - so Satoru.Â
Chuckling at the dilemma on your face, Suguru hums. âNow, Satoru. That hardly seems fair. Donât be greedy.â And at that last word, Suguruâs leaking tip pushes past your entrance - thick , with a long vein running down the middle, cold metal of his piercing making your walls twitch - grunting at the resistance that came with being so fucking full from both ends.Â
âJust getting to fucking her already. Look at the pretty doll, so eager to please. Sheâs begging for it.â you moan at Tojiâs impatient comment, his precum coating your hand a pretty gloss. Youâre fucking yourself in mindless, shallow, bounces that have you split open on both throbbing cocks.Â
Satoruâs hand snaking down to wildly draw circles on your clit, jolting at the overstimulation, whine deliriously as both Satoru and Suguru bottom out inside of you.Â
Deep moans bouncing off the walls - tight, so tight. You were going to make them pass out. Or worse, cum before you.
âSâalright hah- Fuck!â Suguru can barely get the words out, youâve never seen Suguru - all grace and poise - lose his composure like this. A slave to desire. And if Suguru was losing control then Satoru was on the edge of absolute insanity, darkened eyes blown-out and short, broken whines leaving his mouth at each breath.
You, on the other hand, have never felt more awake.Â
âOh- oh fuck. Canât- Too much. Hngh-â Raspy moans ripping from your throat at each little movement, hips moving in a mindless tandem with your best friendsâ as they start thrusting in slow, experimental thrusts.Â
You felt so unforgivingly full - organs secondary to the cocks splitting you apart till you could barely form sentences.
Filthy. Fucking filthy.Â
And the only place you wanted to be right now.
Pulse banging against your throat, sight spotty, you donât even know if what youâre feeling is pain or pleasure. Head only full of Satoru and Suguru and Toji and Satoru and-
âAwww, look at her- hah- Cock-drunk little whore canât even speak.â
Bruised tits bouncing as Suguru and Satoru move in sync, fucked-out, animalistic ramming of their cocks into your stretched out little pussy. Delicate tears stream down your face. Your pace on Tojiâs twitching dick now jerky, desperate movements to keep your sanity. âJusâ like that, doll. Yeah-âÂ
You could feel the burning stretch as their throbbing cocks rubbed against each other through your walls. Balls smacking against your stinging skin and their prominent veins massaging your snug cunt just right. The slapping of skin and Tojiâs squelching have your head spinning.
A wolfish bite on your exposed neck - Satoru - as he tried to keep himself together. Arching you deeper into him, thrusts stemming from a carnal, depraved part of him. Faster.
âOh. So good, princess. Hole sucking me in so good. Ah- fuck. Could do this for the rest of my life.â
âNasty girl. You love this, donât you?â Suguru purrs, amusement evident in his tone.
âY-yes! Love it! Love it Sugu- Toru-âÂ
With a harsh slap to your clit, both men speed up their pace in your sloppy holes. Relishing in the precum and slick dripping down their sensitive lengths, and the creamy rings forming around their bases.
More. More. More more more more-
This orgasm is more obscene than the last. Supported by Suguru and Satoruâs strong arms, spread open and stuffed so shamefully by their throbbing erections. Your head is thrown back, voice-shot as broken moans leave your swollen lips. Fist moving in a mindless rhythm - no reason or rhyme.
âF-fuck, darling. Gonna-â
All it takes are your half-lucid, fucked out mewls, walls wrestling with the effort to clench around them, for Suguru and Satoru to slam into you purposefully. Once. Twice. Before spilling into you in unison.Â
âHngh- Mâcumming. Oh, god mâcumming, princess. Ah! Milking me so good.â
Thick, hot ropes of cum that fill your snug holes. You could feel your stomach inflating, enough to make you feel like youâll explode.
Cock-drunk, youâre dead weight in their arms as Suguru and Satoru moan in relief, riding out their highs. Endless spurts of their seed splashing into you. It dribbles out of your overfilled cunt and ass, soiling the wet bed sheets beneath you.
Soaked in their cum, barely conscious, body aching all over. Ah, this was heaven.Â
âSwitch. Wanna cum in her pretty hole.âÂ
You jolt as Satoru snarks under his breath, pulling out his still-hard head with a lewd pop! A wave of his hot cum gushing out of your abused hole, pooling so sinfully beneath you.
Your knees buckle, brain not catching up yet. Too fucked out, your ready ass barely resists as Toji presses his rock-hard tip inside, pulsing with need.Â
âYeah, thatâs right. Take it.â Grunting lowly, veins popping out as his thick cum spurts uncontrollably from his twitching cock. Once. Twice. Thrice. Missing your hole slightly, splattering on your ass. Pushing his leaking head inside in desperate, shallow thrusts. He just needed it inside you.
Slowing to a stop, âNow, what do you say?â
âTh-thank you, daddy.âÂ
Vision blacking, you barely even register the words. Itâs all that is muttered out before Toji pulls out in one, fluid motion and youâre thrown around like a ragdoll. Suguruâs hand firmly pinning yours behind your back, glistening cock still in you, legs spread sinfully open.
He licks a long stripe down your cheek, your tears salty on his tongue. âDonât think the initiationâs done yet, darling.â
Cum leaking helplessly out of you, Satoruâs hungry gaze - blue eyes barely recognizable - meets yours. âOh, fuck. Just look at you princess. So defiled. Makes me wanna eat out all the cum inside you before pumping you full of mine again.â
âDonât cream yourself just yet, Satoru. I think weâre about to have another initiation coordinator.â
What?
Sure enough, distant footsteps steadily approach. Growing louder with each passing second, thick with anticipation.Â
Closer. And closer.
The door is suddenly thrown open, light filtering in through the door, illuminating the stern figure standing in the doorway.Â
Nanami Kento.
The frat treasurer, infamous as the devastatingly handsome impersonation of a stick up oneâs ass, known for rejecting any and every advance left and right.Â
His sharp gaze sweeps the charged room, dark eyes revealing nothing, catching on your teary, fucked out gaze, miles away. Body covered in cum and spit, marked like you were thrown to the wolves. Satoru grits his teeth with an impatient huff, looking like heâs ready to positively devour you, irritated at the interruption.Â
âWhat are you doing? This is an embarrassment to Jujutsu Phi.â
In the twinge of disappointment, you canât help but feel a brief glimmer of hope. Ah, Nanami Kento. Maybe he will be your savior - a temporary respite from the men who seem ready to eat you alive. And wonât stop till youâre not. Â
âIf youâre going to initiate her then show no mercy.â
The door slams behind him as he steps inside the heated hellhole. A cold shiver runs down your spine. Satoruâs burning whisper in your ear.
âWelcome to the brotherhood, sweetheart.â
A/N. Whew this turned out longer than expected. Tried a new formatting thing, how we liking it??
Plagiarism not authorized.
#gojo x reader#geto x reader#toji x reader#nanami x reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo smut#geto smut#toji smut#nanami smut#gojo satoru x reader#fushiguro toji x reader#nanami kento x reader#geto suguru x reader#gojo satoru smut#tonywrites#gojo satoru#jjk#jujutsu kaisen
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Hi! Can I request 4. Using each otherâs phones without supervision with Lando? I think it would be really funny and cute đ§Ą
Crazy Ex âžâ。𦹠°âŠ
4. using each other's phones without supervision
âş ln x reader ăťâĽăť
âş fluff + humour ăťâĽăť
masterlist âžâź
lando was on stream with max f and ginge. like he usually was. y/n had learned early on in their relationship that if lando was "busy", it either meant that he was on stream, or he was sleeping, or he was quite literally in his race car, ready to go out onto the track.
y/n's finals had just gotten over (thank fuck for that) and now she was catching up on all her unread books with a gin and tonic in her hand. she was dressed comfortably in lando's tshirt and a pair of shorts. he had cuddled her up in a fluffy blanket to make sure that she was comfortable, but she knew he didn't want to be disturbed, and the best way to keep her occupied was to drown her in blankets with a book (or books).
y/n had lost track of time as she read through the gripping, swoon-worthy romance. only when her stomach grumbled did she realise that it was well after eight. digging her phone out from the mess of blankets, y/n looked for their usual order. frowning when she couldn't see the past orders on the app, y/n sighed, leaving her cocoon as she stood up and entered lando's gaming room.
"why do i keep dying?" lando screamed at the screen. y/n held back a laugh, as she was sure his friends were as well.
she looked around the room for his phone. there weren't a lot of places where he could have kept it in the room, so she gently tapped lando on his shoulder and he abruptly stopped screaming as he turned to look at her.
"oh, hey, babe! whatcha doin' here?" lando asked with a huge smile on his face.
y/n smiled at his sudden mood shift and softly said, "i need your phone."
"oh sure, baby, one sec," he said, as he looked around his table and found his table from under the pile of food packets and energy drinks cans.
"there you go, love," he said, as he handed her the phone and then turned back to the game.
y/n pressed a kiss on lando's head before exiting the room. she was already unlocking his phone and opening the delivery app. scrolling through, she found their past orders and quickly ordered food for the two of them.
settling back into her pile of blankets, she had lost the motivation to read further. the only thing going on in her head was food, so instead, she opted to scroll on tiktok. unlocking lando's phone again, she quickly found the app and began scrolling. her food was going to take thirty minutes, and she knew doom scrolling was the best way to pass the time.
max f's texts were ruining her doom scrolling, though. he texted every few seconds, and after she read the first message that only said "muppet", she knew it was going to be about something stupid. she was not bothered enough to move or let lando know. he was on stream anyways.
an hour later, y/n had eaten her dinner, watching a show on lando's phone, and was just beginning to settle into her book again when lando's voice rang through the apartment.
"babe? can you come here please?"
sighing, y/n picked up her tiramisu and walked towards his gaming room. lando smiled and extended his hand towards her, which she gratefully took. pulling her towards him, she settled on his lap, sitting sideways.
lando's hands were gripping her thighs and her waist, making sure that she wouldn't fall.
"what's up?" she asked.
"has max been calling me?" lando asked. he looked amused.
y/n took a bite of her tiramisu. "i think so? he started texting you like a crazy ex partner, and then i started watching a show so your phone switched to dnd,"
"yeah, but my calls would have gone through if his phone was on dnd, y/n!" max's said from the stream.
y/n clicked her tongue, feeding lando a bite of her tiramisu, "no, it didn't. if it had, i would've picked up, max,"
"so, you're telling me that i'm not in lando's list of callers when he's on dnd?" max asked, shocked.
ginge was laughing in the background.
"wait, you can do that?" lando asked.
"lan, you set it up yourself. your parents, your siblings, carlos, oscar, daniel, max verstappen, andrea, will, zak, and i are in that list. you added it yourself." you said, still too focused on your almost finished tiramisu.
max was screaming, and lando was laughing. you hadn't said anything wrong. it was the truth. you were there when lando had set it up.
lando was giving excuses to max, and max was refusing to acknowledge any of them.
"hold on, hold on, guys," ginge said, shutting the two up.
"what?" max was still mad.
"y/n, you had his phone with you for an hour and you didn't do anything?" ginge asked.
"i doom scrolled on tiktok and then watched a show on netflix." you said.
"you know, most girlfriends, when they have their boyfriend's phone unsupervised, they would read through their chats to see if there's a crazy ex or something," max said.
y/n nodded, "he does have a crazy ex. you, max. you blew up his phone more than i ever have. you were already in the stream, why blow up his phone?"
lando laughed, his shrieking laugh that you loved so much. "oh, i love you,"
"i know,"
"i got locked out of the house and i needed lando to get me the spare set of keys!" max exclaimed, laughing.
"keep a rock outside your door with the key. that'll help." she said, deadpanned.
the three boys erupted in laughter again. the chat was going crazy. but, all y/n could think was that her tiramisu was over and she still wanted more.
⎠â Ë。𦹠â・°âŠ
hey! im so sorry it took me so much time to write this! my mid semester exams are going on! i hope you like this! i am also drinking a gin and tonic right now, and i also miss my tiramisu. i've also got a link for my taglist and requests that you can find here!
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#ln4#formula one#f1 imagine#lando norris imagine#f1 x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando x y/n#lando norris fluff#âžâź#â§.*
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i should make an evil science guy oc
#â ď¸#personal#i think i did have one actually but i abandoned her for whatever reason#she was some scientist researcher person but like out of nowhere her and a bunch of her collegues just became obsessed with the idea of old#gods and stuff (like cthulhu kinda shit) for whatever reason (still havent decided) and like something happened and they ended up starting a#new research facility in some renote place where no one will know where they are and due to some loophole in the law that place was like#clean of laws making it illegal to do what they wanted to do#anyways in the facility theyre testing on people some ancient shit they found relating to the gods which confirmed that they were onto#something and for some reason this oc chose to sacrifice herself for the sake of testing it for science and to find out the truth about this#whole god thing. so she injects the ancient shit into her and it starts to oveetake her body going from left to right#one of her arms and one half of her face was completely overtaken by whatever it is and is slowly eating away at the rest of her#its beginning to eat away at her leg and make its way across to the right side so shes kinda dying but shes still dedicating all her time#and energy to getting to the bottom of all the god shit cause she really wants to summon that thang#oh and the reason why they started the facility in the middle of nowhere is cause everyone was like ''stop that you will literally doom#humanity'' and then the government got involved so they just fucked off into the middle of nowhere#i should bring her back idk why i just abandoned her shes cool#anyways oc infodump hehehaha#i think she had a name let me check#cant find her name but apparently shes british#i forgot that#idk if ill keep that but eh
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do you believe me now? | 6
in which spencer reid and inexperienced!fem reader are finally honest with each other. complete with tears and more than a few make-up kisses.
series masterlist
this series is 18+ warnings/tags: angst but mostly fluff, i think this qualifies as hurt/comfort, HHEHHEHHEH, lots of kissing, so cheesy, you jokingly imply he's a slut, i need him expeditiously a/n: thank you guys for being patient with me!! ilysm!! i edited this until i hated it but i hope it's satisfactory for YOU guys..... as always please please let me know what you think!! and i already started the next part hehehe
The car ride is the worst of your life.Â
Neither of you speak.Â
And you find yourself wishing, pleading to god that one of you will say something to fix thisâbut each minute ticks by and the streets get familiar and a quiet song ends and you realize you were silly to ever think a twenty minute car ride would change anything.Â
Spencer was the luckiest youâd ever been and your relationship is floating away like a balloon you forgot to hold on toânothing more than a red dot lost to the vast blue.Â
Maybe for him itâs easier. Youâre pretty sure it is, as you risk one or two glances at his unreadable profile that turn into lingering, obsessive looks because youâre panicking and realizing youâll maybe never see him this close again. Itâs funny and terrible how quickly youâre remembering what it was like to see him at the coffee shop for the first timeâhow he was nothing but a beautiful stranger, completely unknown to you and worlds away. Now youâve had him, sort of, and youâre turning into the girl who could never have him all over again.Â
When he turns onto your street reality begins to sink in. Your heart is a short fuse inside your chest as he pulls into a spot and parks the car. The rumble of the engine cuts. The headlights stay on.Â
For a moment, everything is quiet. You wish you could insert your own reality into the silenceâone where youâre simply enjoying each otherâs company and thereâs no sense of impending doom to take your breath away.Â
âDo you want to talk?â Spencer asks, looking pointedly ahead where the lights shine off the back of some other personâs car. A wayward moth dips and swirls into the high beams. You watch Spencer track it with his eyes.Â
âIâm not sure what to say,â you admit quietly. The weight of everything youâd like to say sits in your stomach like lead, too heavy to divulge. Itâs only been a few weeks of having to carry the truth around with you and your muscles are already fatiguing. The idea of carrying it around indefinitely makes your eyes sting. Youâre already exhausted.Â
Maybe a stronger person would find that last bit of energy to make a final push, to save the relationship just before it falls apart.Â
But you never claimed to be strong.
Deep down, you mustâve known you werenât ready for a real relationship. You canât handle all of this pretending to be okay with things that hurt. Even if that's the grown-up thing to do.
âI tried. I really did, Iâm sorryâIâmââ
Before you can get the words out your throat tightens around them and you bury your face in your hands.Â
The sound of his seatbelt unlocking and whirring back surprises youâbut youâre even more surprised when he undoes yours. Still, you move your arm so it can snap back into place and then heâs pulling you into him.Â
âItâs okay,â he murmurs, one hand on the back of your head as you lean over the small gap between the seats, unable to stop yourself from shedding more tears. âItâs not your fault. Iâm sorry.â
Heâs sorry.Â
For not loving you?
If itâs not your fault he doesnât love you backâthen whose fault is it? Whoâll take the fall?
But still, heâs holding you so carefully, like youâre made of porcelain. Something to be protected. Or at the very least, something to be mourned even after itâs in pieces.Â
As you lean against him, lulled by the slow in and out of his breath, the inverse of yours, and the way he slips his thumb over the back of your hair in silence for a few minutesâyou wonder whatâs missing. Why heâs not satisfied.Â
âI donât understand you.â
The words come out flat, muffled by his coat, garbled with leftover tears.Â
âWhat was that?â Spencer asks gently, still playing with your hair. You sniffle, adjusting your head so your cheek is to his shoulder and your lips are no longer smushed.Â
âI just⌠I want you to explain it to me.â
âExplain what?â
You sit up just enough to meet his eyes. The movement seems to take him by surprise, but he keeps his hands on youâone slipping to your cheek and the other still loyal to your back. He brushes his fingers over the delicate skin beneath your eye and you cover them with your own in an effort to get him to stop treating you so kindly. But even now, when youâre mad at him for being so gentle in the way that he hurts you, you canât help but seek the familiar callus on the side of his trigger finger. Itâs an odd thing to anticipate missing, but youâll miss all of him. You canât imagine holding a hand without that familiar anomalyâa cairn to show you where heâs been and who youâre holding.Â
He curls his warm hand around yours and you hold your joined fist out for him in emphasis, speaking louder than either of you were prepared for.Â
âThis! You! I understand that we donât feel the same way about each other and maybe I canât change that. But then you do this and I donât understand why. I donât understand why this isnât enough for you, because itâs enough for me, and I justâI donât know what else I can give you. I donât know what else there is. I donât understand why Iâm not... enough.â The tears are back and flowing freely, but you forge breathlessly ahead, because youâve finally found a way to be honest and youâre not going to stop now. Spencer is frowning, lips parted and clearly confused or shocked or something, but you continue your confessional before he has the chance to interrupt. âI want to be enough, but you didnât even give me the chance, and I donât think itâs fair that weâre breaking up when you didnât let me try. Maybe if you just told me, if you explained whatâs missing I could fix it and you could love me back, andâplease. I just want to try. Please, Spencer.â
A car engine revs somewhere far away, echoing down the street. It reverberates for several seconds, unimpeded by any other noise. Any word, any breath.Â
His voice is thin when he responds a moment later, still studying your face with a kind of scrutiny that is so indecipherable you donât know how you expect him to respond.Â
âLove you back?â
You blink.Â
Your stomach drops.Â
For all that youâd revealed, for all that youâd willingly humiliated yourself with your pathetic supplicationâyouâd meant to keep that four letter word to yourself.Â
What a way to make an exit from your relationship.Â
Spencer is still looking at you, keeping you pinned to your seat, and as much as you wish it wasnât the case heâs not going to let you off the hook this time. Heâs going to demand an answer, and you have a 0% chance of bursting into mist before you have to provide an explanation, so you have no choice but to say something.Â
What, exactly, youâre going to sayâyou donât know.Â
âI didnâtâŚâ
âYou didnât mean it.â
The response comes so quickly, sharp as a slap, that you jump back slightly, a deep frown twisting your brow. Spencer makes no effort to keep his hand in yours as you slip from his grasp.Â
âThatâs not what I wasââ
âJust say what you mean.â Silence. âTell me.â
Itâs like heâs got an ice pick to your chest. Itâs like he wants you to humiliate yourself even further, to punish you for your messy indiscretions.Â
âSpencerâŚâ
Itâs a warning. Youâre giving him a chance to stop this before he hurts you sadistically. Before he becomes unrecognizable.Â
He swallows.Â
âPlease.â And then, a second later, when youâre still trying to process the quiet pain in his voice and suddenly faced with the unexpected question of who is hurting who, âplease, just⌠tell me if you meant it.â
For the first time tonight, you notice how exhausted he looks. Slightly gaunt, even paler than usual. Shadows pool deeper in the hollows of his face. His eyes look glossy, dark crescents below awaiting to catch tears you realize youâve never seen fall. The tonal shift has you so disoriented, so out of your body like youâre seeing yourself in his own injuriesâthe truth becomes the only humane answer. Even if it hurts you.
âYes. I meant it. You know I mean it.â
âI donât know that,â he says on a shaky exhale. âHow would I know that?â
And heâs got the ice pick back at your sternum. Itâs tipped in poison. The mallet trembles in the air. So does your voice.Â
âYou told me you didnât feel the same. You said it was new for me and different and I was going to make things complicated and you treated me like I was a stupid kid, andâand it doesnât even matter. This was dumb. Iâm sorry I said anything, I donât⌠I donât know what Iâm doing. I just.. I canât do this.â
Youâre about to open the door, every muscle tense as you wonder what the hell is wrong with you. What reduced you to the weepy, pathetic girl, begging a boy to love her despite knowing it doesnât work like thatâthe same girl youâve looked down your nose at in every film and TV show and in every high school and college hallway since you learned what self-superiority meant. Before you knew exactly what it felt like to be her.Â
âWait.â
He says your name. Â
And of course you pause.Â
You want a reason to stay. If you had more self-respect, you wouldnât. But you know youâll give him as many chances to give you an excuse as heâs willing to take. You knew that before your fingers met the metal of the door handle.Â
âJustâhold on a second. Can you look at me?âÂ
You sniffle and wipe your eyes with the heel of your palm before turning around to face him once more. You wonder if anyone will ever have the kind of power he has over you ever again.Â
The despair leaves only wisps of itself on his faceâmostly he looks like heâs thinking hard about something. Itâs jarring.Â
âYouâre talking about our phone call on Sunday, right?â
You nod petulantly with a quick teary eye-roll because obviously thatâs what youâre talking about.Â
Something lights in his own dark eyes as he inhales, parts his lips as if to speak, and stops himself again. Like heâs got news that heâs not sure how to break.Â
âThe things I said, on that call⌠I wasnât talking⌠about you.â
Your insides feel like tangled yarn as you stare at him uncomprehendingly.Â
âI mean, I was. I was talking about us. But not in the way you think, it wasââ he stops, rubbing his eyes and taking a frazzled breath. âI know what itâs like to be the one who cares more. I have to assume that Iâm the one who cares more because when I donât, I ruin things. And with you, I felt likeâthe stakes were so high, and I thought itâd be safer for me to not say anything until I knew you felt the same. But I know thatâs not fair to you so I tried to tell you over the phone that if you didnât feel the same way it was okay. And now IâmâIâm realizing the way I phrased it was incredibly unclear and misleading, and somehow I fucked it up in a completely new way. But I wasnât referring to you. I just didnât want you to feel stuck with someone who canât give you casual when you have so much ahead of you. I had no idea you felt that way about me. And I am so, so sorry that I hurt you. I never meant for that to happen.â
You blink.Â
And for some reason, begin sobbing.Â
Spencer freezes for a moment, then tells you to stay there and you barely have the capacity to wonder what he means as you hear his own door opening then slamming shut again. A moment later heâs on the passenger side, opening your door and leaning in.Â
âHey,â he whispers, gently pulling your hands from your face and making you turn your head to look at him. âIâm sorry, Iâm so sorry. But thatâs good news, right? Why all the tears, lovely? Whatâs wrong? Please talk to me.â
You take a shuddering breath.Â
âThis is all my fault, I ruined everything because I was too scared to tell you before and nowâand nowââ
Stroking your cheeks to wipe away the tears is a futile effort because they just keep coming, but Spencer does it anyway, and he speaks so kindly, so evenly it somehow hurts deeper.Â
You were terrible to him. And he had been prepared to accept that. He thought you didnât love him, and he was still willing to be the subject of all your cryptic frostiness and inexplicable cruelty.Â
âIt is not your fault. You didnât ruin anything. Iâm still right here. Weâre okay.â
âBut weâre breaking up, andâand I was so mean to you. Thatâs not okay, Spencer.â
You finally look at him. Heâs close, eyes warm and wide as he looks directly into your own teary gaze, shaking his head earnestly.Â
âYou were confused, honey. So was I. It was just a misunderstanding. But⌠I know I was unkind to you. I cannot express how sorry I am for that, and the last thing I want is for us to break up, but if you think thatâs whatâs best, Iâll⌠Iâll understand.â
His voice is dangerously thin by the end, strained with impending tears of his own. But heâs eternally kindâbacklit by the streetlamps and beautiful like an angel.  Whatever you want, heâll give you. Even if itâs this.Â
âI donât want that. I donât.â You sigh, closing your eyes briefly against the world as you realize the impending breakup had been a delusion all along. That you were going to let your insecurities and some sick pride end the relationship for you. All that despair had been for nothing. Orâmaybe not nothing. You realize he still hasnât said it back. But you wonât be a coward. Itâs not worth losing him. You open your eyes.  âI justâI want us to be on the same page. And if you donât love me yet or if you donât wanna say it, or if you canât, I get itâitâs okay, but if you donât could you maybe just tell me? So that Iâll knowââ
Before you can process it Spencer is leaning in, head angled to accommodate you, pressing his lips to yours so softly your breath catches and your stomach flips. Maybe softer than he ever has before, and itâs like taking a deep breath after holding it through a dark tunnel. You exhale a tentatively soft sigh against him, releasing air you don't have along with the fraught tension in most of your body. All too quickly heâs pulling away, hands still cupping your cheeks and thumbs stroking over your skin. When he speaks itâs not quite a whisper, but secret-soft.Â
âHow could I not be so in love with you?âÂ
Suddenly you can feel the world turning underneath you. Or maybe youâre just dizzy from lack of oxygen. Either way it feels good. A drop of warmth makes a splash in your stomach and slowly spreads through every vein and capillary until youâre sure youâre glowing gold.Â
âReally?â
âOf course really. Iâmââ he takes a breath of his own, and you realize how difficult this must be after what happened the last time he professed his love for a girl. Your chest aches for him. His voice is low and solicitous, but it wavers slightly. âI should have told you sooner. I wanted to, but I was worriedâI was worried the way I felt for you wasâŚÂ too much. I am so in love with you it scares me. I still donât know what to say or how to act around you. When Iâm gone, sometimes I imagine quitting my job, just so I can come home and see you sooner. When I have a gun in my hands, I start thinking about all the things I would do to keep you safe, orâor just because you asked me to. And if what you wanted was for me to leave you alone, I would have done that. If you wanted me to drop everything and everyone to be with you I would have done that. And I know youâd never ask those things of me. But any of them, Iâd do in a heartbeat. Which is⌠itâs a little scary, huh?â
The final sentence is a nervous self-effacing chuckle, which you can match in sound onlyâone breathy attempt at a laugh from your slackened jaw.Â
When thatâs the only response you can manage, he clears his throat.Â
âToo honest?â
You shake your head as if in a fog.Â
âNo. Not too honest. But Iâm just⌠Iâm trying not to cry again.â
He smooths over your hair fondly. His own eyes are shiny and full of wonder as he studies you for a short while, like you're doing something much more awe-inspiring than sniffling in the passenger seat of his car. Then one hand is dropped to your shoulder and the other braced against your seat back. Finally, he pulls back to a more reasonable distance with a shaky sigh. Itâs a sound of relief. You want to hug him, and all the past hims who have ever been hurt by anyone.Â
âYou, umâyou need to rehydrate. Do you have anything that will rebalance your electrolytes? If you donât I can go to the storeââ
âYou donât need to do that,â you assure him with a small, watery laugh, loosely grabbing the wrist that brushes your shoulder.Â
âBut you need to take care of yourself. And I know you havenât been drinking enough water because you never do.â
Thereâs a lingering overwrought shakiness to his voice, but itâs still the most relaxed heâs sounded since he came home, and you realize that the worst is behind you. The storm that youâd been so sure you couldnât weather is somehow clearing up.Â
âI canât believe we almost just broke up.â
He hangs his head, dropping it to the curve of your neck and groaning.Â
âDonât say that. Letâs not think about that right now. Justââ when he raises his head again, and shakes it slightly to get his hair out of his eyes, theyâve cleared, like heâs on a mission to change the subject. âLetâs go upstairs. Will you let me take care of you?â
You give him an exaggerated nod, still sniffing, and the smile that grows on his face is like seeing the sun rise above the ocean. You love his smile. You love him.Â
Spencer kisses you on the cheek.Â
âOkay. Let me lock the car and then we can go up.â
As soon as you get into your apartment and turn on the light Spencer goes to the kitchen. Itâs a small unit, but antique and nice enough, though you prefer Spencerâs. Thereâs still some tension as you observe him filling a glass with water, kicking your boots off by the doorâbut not necessarily the bad kind. Youâre not sure exactly what it is.Â
âWhere are you going?â He asks as you pass the kitchen area to turn on a standing lamp in the opposite corner of the room.Â
âI donât like the big light.â A warm glow emanates through stained glass as you flick it on.Â
âI know that. I just didnât realize it was a higher priority than your wellbeing.â His tone is sardonic but heâs already switching off the overhead lighting for you. You give him a wry smirk as you finally approach and take the proffered glass from his waiting hand.Â
âAmbience over everything, baby.â
His brows pinch at the cavalier sentimentâyou never call him baby, so you're sure he knows itâs a jokeâand he shakes his head with a humorous little huff of air through his nose, watching as you drink deeply. Your hand is shaking. Spencer notices and covers it with both of his, taking the half empty glass with one and grabbing your hand with the other.Â
âAdrenaline,â he murmurs, kissing your knuckles. âItâll go away soon. Did you get enough?â
You nod, smiling small but genuinely. Emotionally exhausted or not, youâre happy.Â
Spencer strays, not far, to set the glass on the counter. Then he turns to face you, bracing his palms on the ledge and just watching you for a moment with the kind of smile that makes you nervous in the best way.
He beckons you to him with nothing more than a quick tilt of his head, and you shuffle across the floor in your socks til youâre toe to toe. Without your shoes on, he feels much taller. Still he just watches you for a momentânot that you mind. Your view isnât half-bad. The faint warm glow from the lamp casts shadows over his face, highlighting all the perfect angles, deep brown eyes framed by dark lashes, and lips that still make you feel like a girl with a crush when you look at him. His hair is getting long. Youâre unreasonably glad you still get to look at him like this.Â
âHi,â you whisperâsomething about the intimate dark of the room feels like a place for secrets.Â
âHi, pretty.â Spencer tucks hair behind your ear, eyes soft wherever they focus on your face like if he even looks at you too sharply you might break. âHave I told you how much I missed you while I was gone?â
He knows he hasnât.
âEven when I was being a heinous bitch?â
Spencer laughs and it makes you smile too. The way his smile changes the landscape of his whole face will never feel any less like observing a natural phenomenon. Itâs unfair how beautiful he is, and how youâre keeping him all to yourself in the dark on the fourth floor of an apartment building in DC.Â
âEven then. Not sure thatâs the wording I would have used.â
âI missed you too,â you admit softly.Â
He maps your face with wandering eyes like heâs done a hundred times. Vaguely you wonder if he sees the same kind of beauty in you that you see in him. If he sees landmarks in your flaws and stars beyond the observable universe in your eyes.Â
Spencer sweeps your hair over your shoulder, fingertips grazing your neck.Â
âCan I kiss you?â He murmurs.Â
Butterflies fill your stomach and you nod shyly, unsure of what would come out if you tried to speak.
His free hand settles on your lower back and brings you into him until youâre chest to chest. With his other on your jaw, he bows his head, and you angle yours up, allowing your eyes to flutter shut.Â
Spencer kisses you so gently it aches in your chest, still cupping your face and stroking your cheek. You canât help wrapping your arms around his middleâbefore heâs pulling away far too soon.Â
And heâs laughing.Â
âWhat were you drinking?â
You frown, flustered and trying to remember a time before his lips were on yours.
âWater.â
âBefore that, baby. At the bar.â
You think back even further, head muddled even more by the endearment so that it takes you a moment to recall.Â
âA Shirley Temple. Derek brought it to me. Why? Is that bad?â
âNo,â he says, still smiling as his lips brush yours. âYouâre perfect. You taste like candy. Itâs cute.â
Oh. You feel warm as he presses another kiss to your lipsâand this time you insist on him staying awhile. Heâs happy to oblige.Â
Spencer kisses you soft and careful at first, and then deeper, but still so slow, until you canât help the way youâre bunching the fabric of his shirt between your fingers and rising on your toes to try and get impossibly closer. He kisses you the way youâve been needing him to since he left, long and unhurried and sweetâand takes everything you give him, siphoning away all your leftover turmoil and angst until youâre weightless. Youâre deprived of oxygen, youâre dizzy, and you donât care at all.Â
âI love you,â you breathe against him before he captures your lips again with a hum that flips your stomach, his hand rubbing over your hip.Â
âSay it again,â he mutters against your mouth a second later, brushing hair away from your face.Â
It comes out a little mumbled this time between kisses, but it comes out all the same.Â
âLove you.â
He sighs into youârelief that mirrors your own.Â
âI love you.â
It seems like the kind of thing that will never stop sounding perfect from his lips.Â
A final deep kiss shortens into a series of smaller ones, and then heâs pulling away slowly, brushing the corner of your mouth affectionately.Â
Both of you require a few deep breathsâa moment to let your sparkling eyes wildly chart each familiar curve and convex and shade and shadow of the otherâs faceâbefore either of you can speak. Spencer breaks the silence first.Â
âIâm sorry.â
You frown, stirred from your brainless bliss by his unexpected apology.Â
âFor what?â
The fiery glow in his eyes dampens slightly.Â
âFor what I said at the bar.â
Oh.
That.
It feels like a lifetime awayâmemories seen through someone elseâs eyes. Words like blows from a less familiar mouth.Â
You look away. For a while, youâd forgotten about that. Ideally he wouldnât have reminded you.Â
At least he doesnât make you look at him. He just strokes your hair, watching you examine the tiled counter. His voice is soft and soothing, like heâs appealing to a scared rabbit. Or maybe something angrier and with more teeth.Â
âYouâre not immature, or badly behaved, or thoughtless. I was having an emotional reaction, I got defensive, and I lashed out. It was unfair and unkind of me to throw those things back in your face when I know how much trust it takes for you to be vulnerable with me. Thereâs nothing I can say or do that will adequately make up for that, but I want you to understand that I didnât say any of it because it was the truth. I said it because I didnât understand how you were feeling and I was hurt. I was insecure and I acted juvenile. I am so, so sorry, honey. You donât have to forgive me, but you do need to know that none of it is true.â
Once you bite your lip long enough to be sure you wonât cry again, you speak.Â
âItâs okay,â you insist with a cheerfulness as natural as hard plastic, something in your chest twinging. âI was mean too. Like you said, we were both confused.â
âIt is not. I made you cry.â
Sometimes you forget that heâs not like other people. Heâll never accept anything less than the barest truth. So you look back up at him and speak with a level of honesty that you hope satisfies him.Â
âI forgive you. You didnât mean it. And I have insurance because Derek said he and Emily would kick your ass if youâre mean to me again.â
You hear the sad humor in his voice. His hand runs up and down your back.Â
âIf Iâm ever mean to you again, I personally invite you to kick my ass. And then let Derek and Emily have their turn.â He thumbs at your cheek, studying you in silence for a moment. âI canât tell you how much I wish I could take it back.â
You stand up a little straighter. Spencer tracks you with his eyes, noting the way you smile slightly.Â
âYouâll find a way to make it up to me.â
âIâll do anything for you,â he admits, barely a whisper and the truth of it so heavy you can feel it too.Â
But for tonight you canât contend with more weight.Â
âYou know what you could do right now?â
The mischief in your tone is obvious, and he hesitates, like heâs not sure he wants to let you move on from this so quickly. But eventually he plays along, pressing his thumb into the dip of your back and speaks lowly, just as youâd hoped he would.Â
âWhatâs that?â
You smile slyly.Â
âYou could kiss me again.â
âHm⌠I donât know, three times in one night? Sounds a little excessive.â
âDo you want to be forgiven or not?â You huff. He smiles lazily, already dipping his head to press his lips to yours.Â
âI thought I was already forgiven.â
âApologies can be retracted.â
âAh.â His next words are mumbled as his lips ghost yours. âWell we wouldnât want that.â
Spencer puts you out of your misery, not bothering to warm you up to it before heâs kissing you with a deep need. Itâs still languid, and not hungry, exactlyâitâs more like an aching, mind-numbing thirst. Itâs all-consuming, overwhelming to have all of his burning focus pinpointed on you like this. Both hands come to cup your face and you wonder if he wants you in ways that he doesnât entirely understand, just as you want him. You wonder if anything could possibly sate this desire to possess him completely and for him to possess you, to trade corporeal formsâor if itâs just something youâll have to live with like a metaphysical itch you canât scratch. As he forces you to tip your head back for him, using his height to his advantage, breathing deeply against you and attempting to push himself impossibly closer, you begin to think he understands exactly how you feel.Â
As soon as youâd sensed he wanted it, your lips had parted for him. He knows he could have any part of you. He knows how eager you are to give yourself to him. Youâve done everything to prove it, and yet youâve never needed him quite like you do ask he pushes off the counter and slowly backs you against the wall, protecting your head with a hand as the paintings rattle ever so slightly. You gasp into his mouth and he kisses you greedier still, but his hands donât stray from your cheeks.Â
Not until, that is, you hook your right leg around his left, and he catches it, fingers wrapping under the bend of your knee.Â
Never in your life have you regretted picking jeans rather than a skirt more than you do right now.Â
But to your disappointment, Spencer slows down to a haltâpulling his lips from yours like theyâd been stuck by molasses until heâs far enough away to study you wildly, panting just as you are. His hair hangs over his smoldering eyes. Heâs disheveled. Itâs sexy.Â
âWhat?â You whisper, voice surprisingly hoarse.
He looses a dry, abashed laugh. The flush heâs sporting is incredibly charming.Â
âIâm supposed to be playing nice with you.â
Spencer says it like itâs a mild hindrance. Something frissons in your core. You smile a little wider as you continue to catch your breath, which seems to please him.Â
âPlaying nice?â
âBeing gentle. Iâm not supposed to push my favorite things against walls when theyâre delicate.â
Your face heats at the way he speaks of youâif it werenât Spencer, if you didnât know he really doesnât think of you as an object, youâd be pissed. But instead all you can think about is how good it feels when he calls you his.Â
âAccording to who?â
His eyes dart between yours and then down to your lips several times before he averts them to the wall beside you with an intensity that could burn holes through the plaster. Is that how he looks at you?
âAccording to me. I think⌠god, you're going to hate me for this. But I think I need you to kick me out.â
You drop your leg at the same time as you do your heart.Â
âWhat?â
âI know,â he says, over-apologetically, âI know, Iâm sorry. I shouldnât have let that escalate. But we canâtâŚÂ do anything tonight.â Before you can protest, he rushes to explain himself. âItâs just that itâs been a long day. Itâs been a long week, actually, and I doubt either of us have slept very much, and I think youâre really drained, and probably not thinking super clearly. I donât think youâre in the best place for decision making.â
You look pointedly down to where he still has you pressed to the wall.Â
âI think Iâm in a great place.â
At that he steps back, but lets his hands find yours and pulls you away from the wallâjust not quite as close as before. His nose bumps against yours as he speaks low and sweet.Â
âI understand that you want me to stay right now. But itâs not a good idea to associate fighting with physical pleasure. That can set some really dangerous patterns.â
âWeâre not fighting,â you plead, matching his tone as you look up at him with big eyes. His fingers lace with yours.Â
âYouâre right. Maybe fighting was the wrong word. But we had some pretty intense conversations today, didnât we?â
Reluctantly you nod.Â
âRight,â he agrees. âSame premise. We need to be able to have those conversations without getting distracted.â
In a last ditch attempt to get him to change his mind, you give him your best approximation of the imploring, wide-eyed gaze he sometimes uses on you. Something not entirely smile and not entirely smirk twists the corners of his mouth. When he ducks down to kiss you quickly, you reciprocate, but you lack the enthusiasm of earlier.Â
âHey.âÂ
âHm,â you respond, dejectedly.Â
âDonât get all grumpy because I donât put out.â
That puts a disgruntled little smile on your face as he probably knew it would.Â
âI guess you just gave it up easy to all those other women.â
He grabs your chin and gives you a final peck.Â
âI donât know what youâre talking about. Iâve never been with other women.â
âMhm,â you grumble good-naturedly, pushing away from him and going to the door to undo the deadbolt. âDonât let the door hit you on the way out.â
âWow. I really must have overstayed my welcome if thatâs the goodbye I get.â
You turn back around, brows raised.Â
âOh, I was prepared to be very welcoming. This is your doing.â
âUh-huh. Come here.â
Happily you skitter back across the few feet of wooden flooring and wrap your arms tightly around him one more time, pressing your cheek to his chest. Heâs ready, winding his arms over yours and rubbing your back. Itâs eerily similar, you realize as he presses his face into the concave of your shoulder, to when heâd left on that most recent case.Â
But at the same timeâeverythingâs different.Â
And you wonât make the same mistake twice.Â
âHey,â you smile, resting your head on his shoulder. Spencer pulls back to look at you, a similar grin on his face.Â
âHey what?â
âI remembered what I was gonna say.â
The grin widens. He knows exactly what youâre talking about.Â
âTell me.â
âI was going to tell you that I love you. AndâI hope youâre not one of those people whoâs uncomfortable being told that often. Because if thatâs the case Iâm really going to annoy you.â
âIâm not that kind of person,â he assures. âTell me as often as you can.â
âBut you should say it back. Itâs more polite that way.â
âI love you,â he murmurs, in a voice more serious than your teasing tones had been but still soft and sweet around the edges. âYou know, people talk about love as if itâs completely irrational and illogical. But with you⌠I think the world actually makes more sense than it used to. I understand things I never did before. Youâve taught me a lot.â
Itâs like a lightshow in your stomach. You wonder if he has any idea the effect his casual musings have on you.
âYou already knew everything.â
âNot everything,â Spencer whispers. âNot about the things that matter.â
And youâre fresh out of teases. All you can do is look up at him with big eyes again, in awe of the fact that you get to keep him after all.Â
âWill you text me when you get home?â You request, voice reverent in the wake of an admission you could never hope to top.Â
âI will. Iâll see you tomorrow?â
You nod, because it doesnât even matter if you had other plans tomorrow. Theyâre as good as cancelled.Â
Spencer kisses your cheek, and you get the sense that things are still being left unfinished. Thereâs an unresolved tension that you canât shake, even after all the apologies and kisses and sweet words. Still, he made a point with his talk about not mixing argument with pleasure, and youâd like to respect those wishes because you respect himâeven if every atom of your being shakes with desire to keep him locked in your bedroom, hidden away from the world together, for as long as you can possibly manage.Â
Eventually, you loosen your hold, and you let him go. He lingers at the door, hands in his pockets, just watching you and mirroring your small smile as you hold onto the counter with an iron grip to keep yourself in check. After he finally peels his gaze away from yours and silently closes the door behind him, you stand there, staring at the wood for at least a minute.
Once you manage to shake yourself from your revery with a deep breath, you grab your glass from earlier and stand in front of the sink, watching it fill with a white jet of water. Itâd be a shame to admit it to him, but maybe Spencer is right. Maybe you do need time to emotionally digest today. After allâthat was technically your first argument. It seems to have left you sort of wound up. Not in a bad way, per seâmaybe you just need to take a shower, let the hot water roll over your shoulders and wash away the frenetic energy that clings to you.Â
Still, something tells you that you wonât be getting much sleep tonight, even if you do take the worldâs longest shower. Youâre simply too high-strung. You wonder if having Spencer here would fix that or make it worse. But ultimately, heâd made the call that it was a bad idea for him to stay, and youâre generally inclined to trust his judgement.Â
The thought makes you laugh into your cup as you drink. Even after the debacle that was the past week, you trust him to know what heâs doing. Maybe you need to rethink that, at least temporarily, until heâs had a chance to redeem himself.Â
Just then, your front door is opening with absolutely zero warning and slamming shut again before you can finish whipping around. Your heart threatens to choke you and you almost drop your glass, clutching your chest.Â
âJesus, youââ
But the words die in your throat as Spencer storms toward you, shrugging his coat off with a white-hot chill in his eyes. Itâs enough to freeze you in place, heart drumming against the confines of your ribs.Â
âYou really need to start locking that door,â he breathes, tossing his jacket on the counter before grabbing your face and crashing his lips into yours, palms pressed to your jaw and fingers pushing into your hair. You stand there, hands hovering in air before you gain the wherewithal to blindly set the glass down behind you. Your heart is pounding as you immediately submit to the kiss, whining softly against his lips and cautiously seeking stability in the fabric of his shirt. Spencer pulls away only briefly, allowing you to gasp for much-needed air. His brown eyes are like molten gold on you, pupils blown wide and wild as he scans your face, taking heavy breaths of his own. âAnyone could just walk in.â
-
part seven
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So another interesting thing about Jane Eyre is its take on relationship inequality.
Like, Jane is 18 at the beginning of the story and Rochester is said to be something like 35-38. And it's not casually brushed aside like that was normal back in the day. It wasn't. Concerns about the age gap are raised within the text. But the story emphasizes that Jane feels comfortable accepting Rochester's proposal, despite the age difference, the class difference, and him being her boss, because Jane feels that Rochester regards her as an equal. When they converse, Jane doesn't feel any tension, like she has to impress him or try to read his mind and say whatever he wants to hear. She feels that he respects her and values her thoughts and isn't compelled to use his power against her if she says something to displease him. Around the midpoint of the story, Jane believes that Rochester is going to marry another woman, and resolves to leave because she's heartbroken, believing that because she is poor and plain Rochester can't possibly be as hurt by their parting as she is, and he'll forget her and move on long before she does. But it turns out to be the opposite. After finding out about Bertha, Rochester begs Jane to stay and insists he'll be miserable forever without her, while Jane, still thinking she's too poor and plain to ever attract someone like him again, resists all temptation and leaves him. And she does this specifically because she feels that if she were to compromise her morals and self-respect to be Mr. Rochester's mistress, then he would lose respect for her and the relationship would fall apart. It was only by maintaining her integrity that the relationship could stay in-tact when the reconciled at the end.
St. John Rivers on the other hand, I don't think is given a definite age, but I think he's intended to be a much younger man, probably in his early 20s. He is poor and without relations aside from his sisters or any other connections, just as Jane. Jane finds out they're actually cousins at the same time she learns she's come into a vast fortune that was willed to her rather than the Rivers, but decides to share her fortune equally with them. So she arguably had more social capital, even though she made an effort to put St. John on equal footing with her, because the money was hers by right and she could've presumably cut him off at any time, just as easily as Rochester could've terminated Jane from her job.
And yet, Jane's relationship with St. John is vastly more unequal than her relationship with Rochester. Even though Jane practically worshiped Rochester but only cares for St. John as a brother and is acutely aware of his faults, she still finds herself desperately craving his approval in a way she never did with Rochester. And St. John is willing to exploit that intentionally. He asks her to do things she doesn't want to and make sacrifices for him just because he knows she'll do anything to please him, and that's why he thinks she's the perfect wife for him. Where Rochester tries to explain himself and persuade Jane not to leave him by addressing her concerns, St. John basically tries to command Jane to marry him and refuses to accept her "no" as final. He withholds affection from Jane as a tactic to get her to compromise in order to reconcile with him when he's the one who should be apologizing to her and considering her needs and not just his own. Jane knows that she can't ever be happy with him because he doesn't respect her and his lack of respect only makes her want to seek his approval, which he is all too happy to exploit for his own benefit.
But Jane ultimately stays firm and rejects St. John's proposal of a loveless marriage, just as she rejected Rochester's proposal of an unlawful marriage, because both situations were doomed to fail if she didn't put her own self-respect first.
So this novel from 1847 was really saying that power dynamics aren't pure black and white. Age and class and wealth and status can be a factor in making a relationship unequal, but you can also be equal on pretty much all social axis and still have inequality in a relationship. What's really important is that there's mutual respect.
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omg neeeed a spencer fic based off of lunch by billie eilish, i feel like that song definitely suites him đ
Being cornered in the filing room was the last thing you expected when Spencer asked you out for lunch.
Warnings: (18+) oral (f), semi-public (theyâre at work) ~1.6k words
A/n: Ty anon I've been listening to this song nonstop and now I have a reason to use it for munch Spence, ily
âWhat do you want to eat for lunch?â you asked, striding through the bullpen with Spencer at your side. He had a hand on your lower back, and you couldn't help but wonder why he was being so touchy at work when he was usually the one insisting on professionalism. Not that you were complaining; youâd take any small gesture of his affection.
âHow about that new sushi place around the corner?â you suggested, leaning into him slightly. âI could go for a salmon skin roll.â
He remained unusually silent, and as you exited through the glass doors, you frowned when he guided you away from the elevator. âWhatââ you began, looking up at him as he led you down the hallway. âWhere are you taking me?â
His silence was starting to unnerve you. He glanced around to make sure no one was nearby before pulling you into the filing room and shutting the door behind you.
âSpencer,â you hissed, eyes darting around the room. âWhat are youââ
Before you could finish, his lips were on yours, pressing you against the door. His hands cupped your face, holding you in place as he kissed you with a fervor that left you breathless. You hadnât realized just how much his kisses could affect you until you started dating himâeach one was deep, passionate, and downright knee-weakening.
When he finally pulled away, you clung to his arms for balance, your mind reeling. âWhat was that for?â
He grinned mischievously. âIâm hungry.â
You blinked, confused. âSo you decided to eat my face?â
He chuckled, leaning in to peck your lips again. "That was just the appetizer." His hands trailed down your body, and when you felt him run his palm down your legs, you knew you were doomed.
"Spence," you warned, trying to give him your best glare but already melting into him as his fingers slid under your skirt. "I thought you wanted to have lunch."
"I do," he agreed, slipping inside the waistband of your panties. "And I am. I want to eat you."
You really needed to talk to him about his oral fixationânot that you minded, because honestly, you loved it when he went down on you. The problem was, he didn't always pick the right time or place.
Like that one time on a date when he begged to taste you, leaving your food cold when you returned from the bathroom, with the waiter giving you the stink eye you could feel the judgment in their gaze. And now he wanted to do it at work, with your friends practically in the next room.
"We can'tâ" you tried to protest, but your voice faltered as he nibbled on your earlobe.
"Shh," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. "Iâll be quick."
Before you could respond, his hand slipped further down, and you let out a gasp, clutching at his shoulders. His touch was electrifying, and you found it increasingly difficult to remember why this was a bad idea.
"We're going to get caught," you managed to say, though it lacked conviction.
"We won't," he murmured, and when his fingers brushed your arousal, he laughed softly, spreading your slickness up and down your folds. "Youâre already so wet."
He grinned when he felt your hips thrusting and bucking upwards. He knew you were inviting him to give you more. The flat tips of his fingers begin to dip in your entrance teasingly. You wanted him. You needed him. He knew he had you right where he wanted.
"Spencer, please," you whispered, half in protest, half in desperation.
"Please what?" he asked, his voice husky. "Please stop? Or please don't stop?"
You could barely form coherent thoughts, let alone words. "Please⌠just..."
He took that as encouragement, intensifying the pressure and speed of his movements. You clung to him, your knees weakening, your breath hitching in ragged gasps. Just when you felt you couldn't bear it any longer, he knelt before you, deftly sliding your panties down your legs. Any resistance dissolved as he gripped one of your legs, hoisting it up over his shoulder.
âLift your skirt up.â
With trembling hands, you gathered the fabric and lifted it, exposing yourself fully to him. His eyes couldnât help but rest on the sight, taking note of your swollen, aroused lips and how wet you already were. His fingers traced over your slick folds, teasingly brushing against your sensitive skin before lowering his head between your thighs.
The moment his tongue made contact, you were already lost in a haze of pleasure. Your head spun as nerves and excitement merged into a blissful frenzy in your mind. He teased up and down your slit, briefly dipping inside your dripping entrance before returning to focus on your swollen, aching clit.
"You taste amazing," he grunted, his voice thick with desire. His hands encircled your thighs firmly, keeping you in place as his tongue circled and flicked over your sensitive bud. He sucked lightly, causing you to hold your breath, before releasing it in a ragged gasp. Your hips bucked uncontrollably as you ran your hands through his hair, tugging on the strands, eliciting a deep, rough yet eager moan from him.
This was why he loved tasting you so much. He was addicted to your reactions, the way you whimpered and moaned, and the eager groans he made between your trembling thighs. He reveled in the sensation of your juices against his tongue, thrilled by the chance to please you and watch your legs quiver around him. He adored the way your voice strained when you called out his name, and how tightly you gripped the strand of his hair between your fingers.
He loved it all, making it clear as his tongue sped up, circling your clit even faster. Looking up at you, he saw you trembling, your gaze locking onto his wide, shining brown eyes as he continued to pleasure you. Each flick of his tongue, every gentle suck, drew you closer to the edge.
"Please," you cried out, fingers gripping his hair as you moved your hips against his mouth. "I'm so close," you gasped, your focus entirely on him, feeling the pressure of his tongue against your throbbing cunt.
He responded with a low, satisfied hum, the vibrations sending shivers through your body. The tension built within you, coiling tighter and tighter until you were teetering on the brink of release. Your breaths came in shallow pants, your entire body alight with anticipation.
He held onto your thighs firmly, keeping you in place as he expertly licked your folds, skillfully massaging your clit with the flat of his tongue. The way he moved, the way he tasted you, it was driving you wild. You could feel yourself spiraling, the tension building inside you, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
With one final, skillful flick of his tongue, he pushed you over the edge. The orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, your body shuddering, your breath catching in your throat. You cried out, a raw, uninhibited sound of pure ecstasy, as the pleasure washed over you in powerful, crashing waves.
Spencer held you through it, his tongue never slowing, drawing out every last bit of your release until you were spent and trembling in his arms. Only then did he finally pull back, looking up at you with a satisfied, almost smug expression.
"You okay?" he asked softly, his hands gently caressing your trembling thighs.
You nodded, your breath still coming in shallow gasps. He rose to his feet, his eyes still locked on yours as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand, his expression one of satisfaction and tenderness. He pulled you into a warm embrace, his hands gently rubbing your back as you steadied yourself, your legs still trembling slightly from the intensity of your release.
You leaned into him, your head resting on his shoulder. "I can't believe we just did that," you said, your voice still shaky. "We could have gotten caught."
"The thrill of almost getting caught makes it even better, doesn't it?"
You groaned and swatted his chest. âI hate you.â
âNo, you donât.â He chuckled softly, his fingers brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face. "Let's get you cleaned up before someone wonders where we are."
Nodding, you straightened your skirt and tried to compose yourself, though the lingering heat between your thighs was a constant reminder of what had just transpired. Spencer handed you your panties with a playful smirk, and you quickly slipped them back on, feeling a mix of embarrassment and exhilaration.
As you both stepped out of the room, the hallway was thankfully empty. He kept a protective arm around your waist as he guided you back towards the bullpen.
"Where did you two go?" JJ asked the moment she saw you. "We just ordered takeout."
Spencer stepped slightly aside from you, but his arm remained reassuringly around your waist. "It's fine, I already had my lunch, anyway," he replied smoothly.
You cleared your throat, trying to regain your composure, and returned to your desk as you ignored JJâs stare. The slight blush on your face threatened to give you away, and you shot him a discreet but pointed glare.
"Yeah? What did you eat?" JJ asked, her curiosity clearly piqued.
"Oh, just something... incredibly satisfying," he said, his voice dripping with innuendo. âSomething I've been craving for a while."
You bit your lip, hoping the warmth in your cheeks wasn't too obvious as you met his eyes briefly, noting the smug look on his face.
You were going to kill him.
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I saw your requests were open and because I'm very hurt/comfort I would like reader to be fives spouse and then the subway happens like the after of everyone learning about it at the house and having to bring up what happened with not only Diego but us as well who thought we [Five and spouse] were happy??? Immaculate. Also I hope you're doing well stay hydrated!
a/n: thank you so much for your request, i am super hydrated, thank you :)) i really loved writing this (even if it is a little angsty) and i hope you love it just as much
summary: you thought you were happy together - if only you knew how wrong you were.
warnings: mentions of canon compliant violence, cheating (obviously), lila x fiveđŹ
word count: 2.1k
pt. 2
Christmas Eve would always be a time of joy and merriment for many, and the same had been true for you for all of your life. Even when youâd spent a few decades working as a trained killer for The Commission, the holidays were always a normality and a comfort that you could fall back on, without fail. In between snapping necks and pulling triggers, youâd seen the snow covered hills of Lapland and the warm festivities of Munichâs Christmas Markets and now that you were retired, you could enjoy it all with your family.
The family that your husband, Five, had brought you into. Whilst there was some initial shock from the Hargreevesâ siblings as they found out that not only had their brother aged forty-five years without them on a post-apocalyptic Earth but that he had actually gotten engaged in that time, slowly but surely, they had let you in. They were chaotic, at the best of times, but you loved them all the same and you knew that youâd do anything to protect them now. They were your family, just as much as Five was.
Youâd met Five at the commission, when he was worn down by a lengthy four decades of solidarity and youâd pieced him back together. Youâd shown him that living wasnât just a means to an end and that it could be good and loving. Youâd joked at the time how silly it was, that the two of you had found love at an organisation designed to kill, for the most part, innocent people. Heâd said heâd do it a thousand times over if it meant heâd get to you.
After spending the last few years trying and failing to stop the apocalypse, you werenât quite those people anymore. Instead, you had grown and evolved but youâd never had the luxury of waiting around for the two of you to settle down and retire like youâd both hoped for. So, when youâd come to this timeline, Five powerless, you hadnât looked back. Youâd gotten married, whilst you knew you still could and youâd lived the last six years in bliss. Five had softened now that there wasnât the weight of impending doom on his back and you both got to be enveloped in the love youâd worked so hard for without consequence.
Tonight, you had gone over to Diego and Lilaâs place to spend the evening with your extended family. At some point in the evening, Five and Lila had reappeared from whatever theyâd spent the day doing and since heâd got back, Five had been unsettled. His eyes kept flickering over to Diego and Lila, constantly. He looked seething. Your husband had never been one for public displays of affection and Diegoâs increasingly wandering hands mustâve been beginning to anger him, you thought. Five frowned, how was he supposed to enjoy his evening with that sitting across from him?Â
Noticing his restlessness, you slipped your hand over his comfortingly, feeling the cool metal of his wedding ring slide over your palm, âYou okay?â
Five glanced back at you. He cleared his throat and nodded, smiling gently at you, âIâm alright, love.â
Occasionally, Lila would look over at him. She looked shy and timid under Diegoâs touch, a look youâd never seen on her before. Lilaâs love had always been performative and outlandish. Her affection was everywhere and to see her look so strained in his company was strange. It was entirely foreign to watch it play out and it didnât match the Lila Hargreeves youâd come to know. Diego noticed too.
Even Luther noticed the tension in the room. He watched as Five rolled his shoulders for the hundredth evening, âWhat is with you tonight? Youâve barely said a word, Five, when does that ever happen?â
So, it wasnât just you then? You thought to yourself. A ball of anxiety began to develop in your stomach. You searched Fiveâs face for the root of the problem. Five sighed and adjusted himself, âItâs called thinking, Luther. You should try it sometime.â
A flurry of shock and distaste shot up from everyone as he said that and you shrank slightly in your seat. Five bristled as you got closer. You frowned.
âI do think, I think youâre an asshole.â Luther clapped back, pouting as he leaned back against the couch. At this moment, you happened to agree. Five didnât brush you away, physically, but he kept his eyes forward, anywhere but down at you. You felt dread in the pit of your stomach.
Five continued to avoid your gaze as Allison sighed, brushing her hair from her face, âOkay, can we not do this right now?â Her eyes drifted pointedly to Claire, Grace and the twins in the corner of the room, happily occupying themselves with toys and the tv which displayed a graceful ballerina one of the girls was currently trying to imitate.
âNo, letâs. Letâs do this now.â Five said, smiling bitterly at her as he stood from the couch and dropped your hand.
You sighed, sitting forward, âFive-â
âFive, itâs gonna be okay.â Lila interrupted, smiling reassuringly from where she sat. Your head swivelled around to her, in time with Diegoâs, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Before you had the chance to question Lila, Five smiled sarcastically at you all, moving his hand to cut her off, âNo, itâs not gonna be okay.â
Diego shot from his seat, chuckling, âHey, come on, man. Donât talk to my wife like that. Not tonight. Not on Christmas.â
Five squares up to him, broadening his shoulders and raising his eyebrows at his brother, âYou going to do something about it, fuckface?â
An uproar of protests from all of the others. Your eyes widen as things begin to escalate and you stand up, reaching for his arm, âFive!â
He glances back at you. Diego scoffs and steps closer, prodding Fiveâs chest, âYeah, Iâm gonna K-I-C-K your A-S-S, man.â
âOh wow, somebodyâs passed the first grade.â Five says sarcastically, still not backing down.Â
âFive.â You say again, more forcefully as you step up to them. Lila gets up and steps between them, putting her hands on each of their chests and pushing them away from one another. Your eyes flare as you watch her fingers skim Fiveâs chest. They follow her hand up to her wrist and-
âWhat is that?â You ask, reaching for her wrist. A silver bracelet, woven like vines, dangles from her arm. You roll your sleeve back, looking at your own bracelet. The one that Five had given you on some anniversary or other, heâd had it made especially for you - strung together with gold, because silver was too trivial for someone like you, heâd said.
The bracelet felt trivial altogether as you looked at its pattern now, beside Lilaâs - practically identical to your own. Cheaper, yes, but still like yours, âWhatâs what?â Lila asked innocently, taking her wrist back.
âThat thing on your wrist.â Diegoâs eyebrows furrow as he takes Lilaâs wrist and he glances between your wrist and Lilaâs, âYou hate bracelets. You traded the one that I got you for Valentineâs last year to the pawn shop. WhatâŚâ
âWhere did you get it?â You demand, looking her in the eye with a determination that you havenât felt in years. Lila stands there guiltily, leaning in Fiveâs direction and your heart sinks. Diego watches, the dots connecting in his mind.
âDid you give her that?â He asks, stepping closer to Five. Lila reaches out for him and he shrugs her off, âNo, answer the question, Five. Did you give her that?â
âI made it.â Five answers, hands slipping into his pockets. Heâs casual, as if it means nothing, and that only makes it hurt so much more because if this gift to Lila means nothing, then you must mean even less.
âYou made it⌠for her?â You say, hurt and grief for the life youâve had together seeping into your voice. And just when you think he canât get any more cruelâŚ
âWho does it look like I made it for?â He says, looking over at you, and your heart shrivels up painfully. A dull ache blooms in your chest and you canât even form a response because heâs being so cutting and itâs something youâve never had from him before.
Diego steps up, pressing a hand to your arm and giving it a gentle squeeze as he pushes you back. He takes a breath and looks between Lila and Five, biting his lip, âIs there something going on between you two?â
The two stare silently for a moment and Lilaâs voice grows soft as she looks at her husband, âDiego-â
Diego holds his hands up and turns away, âHoly shit⌠Holy shit, I was right!â He says, pointing at them both, his voice a mix of anger and disappointment in the people heâd trusted.
âBook club, a- all this time, you- you were cheating on me withâŚâ He canât even get the words out properly as he looks at them, his stutter resurfacing as his emotions get the better of him. He looks over at you, your eyes widen further, if thatâs even possible as you realise things for yourself.
âOh my god⌠oh my god, I am a complete and utter fool.â You say, laughing in shock as you mentally take a step back from the last few months.
This is what you got for letting your guard down, you supposed, âI canât believe you⌠why did I never⌠you were never doing research, were you? You were off with her.â
âNow, just wait-â Five starts, holding his hands up and trying to approach you at the same time that Lila says, âNo, we werenât cheating on you. At least, not when you thought we wereâŚâ
âWhat? What is that supposed to mean?â You ask, scoffing and folding your arms over your chest.
âIt means that, for us, itâs been seven years. I blinked us to the subway and we got stuck down there.â Five said, stepping forward.
âPlease, tell me youâre joking.â You say, shoulders dropping as your heart clenches, all of your defences falling.
âLove, I wish I was.â He says tenderly, stepping closer to you again. He takes a deep breath, âWe were lost for seven years, Y/N.â
Seven years. Heâd spent almost as much time with her as he had with you. Were you really that disposable? Youâd thought that things were good between the two of you, great even, but the moment heâd been out of your sights, heâd done thisâŚ
Breaking down, you sit back on the couch, putting your head in your hands as you blink back tears. Five sighs, sitting beside you, âWe went through a lot of timelines and I promise, I never stopped trying to get home, you know I never would, but⌠I got tired. Tired of failing over and over and I had to stop.â
âI wouldnât have given up.â You say, drying your eyes as you look up at him again. Five smiles tiredly, shaking his head.
âYou canât know that.â He says, looking over at you. His eyes are soft, but it doesnât stop the harsh sting of what he says.Â
âI can, because I love you, itâs as simple as that.â You protest, looking at him brokenly, âYou wouldnât have stopped looking if you loved me the way that I love you.â
He rubs his thumb over his clenched knuckles, sighing, âDonât say that. You know that I love you.â
âOf course. And her? What about Lila? Do you love her too?â You challenge, eyes flitting over every pore in his face, seeking an answer or an apology, anything that isnât going to confirm what you so deeply fear; that he doesnât love you anymore.
Lila perks up from where sheâs standing beside Diego. Diegoâs face drops and all either of you can do is watch as your partners lock eyes with one another instead of you. Five sighs, glancing back at you, âY/N, now is really not the time for-â
âDo you love her?â You ask again.
He glances between the two of you and sighs again. It feels like thatâs all heâs capable of doing right now, sighing. You want to scream or yell or cry because that isnât fair, he doesnât get to be frustrated or hurt when this is his fault and you shouldnât be feeling bad for him when he looks so defeated but you just canât help it because itâs Five, your Five, and youâve never known anything else but wanting whatâs best for him.
He parts his lips, about to speak, before Claire interrupts from where sheâs sat on the floor, âHey, grown-ups! Look at the TV! Isnât that Uncle Ben?â
Five stands up to look with the other Hargreeves and you steady yourself. This is okay, you think, you can let things go on as normal. Just for a little longer.
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Love & Lullabies | Part 2
Pairing: Min Yoongi x female Reader
Summary: What begins as a simple favor for your best friend Namjoon soon pulls you into the rhythms of Yoongiâs lifeâafternoons spent caring for his son, late nights filled with candid conversations, and a connection neither of you thought you needed. Youâre just fresh out of a long-term relationship with an ex who didnât want a family with you, so did you really just stumble into a life youâve always dreamed of? (Thank god Namjoon isnât the only one whoâs clumsy.)
Alternatively: Itâs 2025 and BTS is prepping for their comeback. All members seem to have gained muscle weight from their time at camp. But Min Yoongi has gained a different kind of weightâan 8-pound baby and a fuck-load of responsibility. (Thank god youâre there to help him.)
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, idol!au, Acquaintances to Lovers, Reader is Namjoonâs bestie
Warnings: Yoongi is a DILF (!!!) Thatâs it.
Chapter warnings: First kiss with this Yoongi (have fun with that), one sexist remark from your dummy bestie, baby mama shows up, cliffhanger
Word count: 5.3k
Posting date: November 19, 2024
Notes: This is inspired by an ask/prompt sent by @yoongznme. Icymi, we did a poll and results show yâall wanted to break this into two parts so we shall have a part 3. Enjoy, my lovelies~ đđŤśđź
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Masterlist
Ever since that dinner when you inadvertently confessed about your age-old attraction to him and assured him that any residual feelings are buried in a metaphorical time capsule, Yoongi seems to have made it his personal mission to rizz you up on purpose.
Haneulâs been especially rambunctious all day. Mealtime is no exception. Yoongi volunteers to feed him, thinking he can rein in some of the pent-up energy. At some point, Haneul squeezes his pouch of organic muesli and carrot puree with so much enthusiasm that it explodes everywhere, sending bright orange flecks across Yoongiâs face and pristine white tee.
âGAHHH!â Yoongi yelps, staring down at the mess, while Haneul absolutely loses it, tiny belly-shaking laughter filling the room.
âSilly, silly sarang,â you coo, using the pet name youâd started calling Haneul lately. Itâs adorable how he beams every time he hears it, flashing you that gummy grin like he knows heâs your favorite troublemaker. You laugh too, as you wipe a splatter of puree from Haneulâs cheek with the muslin cloth you were holding.
âDo I have something on my face, too?â Yoongi leans towards you expectantly with the barest of smirks.
âUh⌠yeah.â You say, flipping the cloth to a clean side and wiping off the smudge on his cheeks and his chin, and that pesky little morsel on the side of his lip.
For some reason, you seem to need a blast of oxygen straight to your lungs. Stat.
With a lick of his lips, Yoongi nods his thanks. âGotta change,â he mumbles, lifting the shirt away from his chest with a grimace and walks towards the hallway to his room.
And you almost regret your decision to look back, almost.
Because, oh wow, heâs taking his shirt off. Yep. Fuckinâ dammit. The shirt is off.
Christ.
His shoulders are broad, muscles flexing as he runs a hand through his hair. The infamous â7â tattoo on his shoulder is taunting you. You are unable to pull your eyes away, already knowing youâre doomed.
Then, before he mercifully disappears into his room, he glances over his shoulder and catches you staring. Shit. Your heart plummets straight to your ass. He smirks, U-turns towards you shirtless and utterly shameless.
Your nerves short-circuit as he reaches out, just barely brushing your thigh to pick up his phone from the mat. His eyes hold yours, a dark glint of mischief in them, âYou good?â
âHuh?â The brain fog is crazy. You will yourself to keep your eyes above his chest, but of course you gone did it.
Why are his nipples so cute? And damn is that a happy trail?
He snickers softly, like he knows exactly whatâs going through your head. âIâll be back. Hanâs eating the remote by the way.â
And with that, he saunters off, leaving you there, a blushing, flustered mess as you find Haneul gnawing on the remote control.
You pull it quickly from his grasp, muttering under your breath, âSarang, why are you and your appa being such a menace?â
He babbles happily at you, as if he knows heâs not the only troublemaker with a gummy grin in this house that got you wrapped around their finger.
The next time youâre at the Minâs, Yoongi is clearly in a rush, checking his phone and mumbling to himself as he zips up his jacket. âJust text me if you need anything, okay?â he calls over his shoulder, already half out the door.
âGot it,â you reply, bending to set your shoes on the rack. You glance down, expecting to see your usual house slippersâbut something else catches your eye.
Itâs a⌠capybara? Big, fluffy, and incredibly cozy-looking slippers, with soft little ears and embroidered eyes, just waiting for you. Theyâre exactly your size. Theyâre yours, right? Itâs in your usual spot. Beside it⌠another pair. Same goofy capybara face, but larger. Did Yoongi get a pair for himself, too?
You slip them on, feeling their warmth, their plushness, and a little shiver of wonder and disbelief spreads through you. Yoongi thought of thisâthought of you. The butterflies in your stomach are in a frenzy now, and you canât help but smile, giddy and a little stunned.Â
The door swings open. âI forgot myââ Yoongi stops mid-sentence.
Youâre standing there, wiggling your toes inside the ridiculous capybara slippers, and when you look up, you catch the slight flush creeping across his cheeks. Thereâs something so unmistakably soft about his expression and it makes your heart do a strange little flip.
âPlease tell me theyâre mine,â you jut your bottom lip out, a hopefulness you canât quite hide.
Yoongi steps inside just enough to grab his keys from the table, shrugs, âWho else would they be for?â
And just like that, heâs gone, the door clicking shut behind him.
Youâre left standing there, the capybara slippers snug around your feet, Yoongiâs words replaying in your mind. Your heart flutters as you stare down at them, wondering if maybe, just maybe, this small, thoughtful gesture means as much to him as it does to you.
Since then, you start noticing the small ways Yoongi shows his care. Each time he heads out, he leaves little comforts behindâan extra pillow for you on the couch, a plate of fruit on the coffee table, a cup of Silver Moon tea he prepared for you.
More and more, you start to extend your day to night that Yoongi almost expects you now to stay for dinner or join him for Haneulâs nighttime rituals.
Haneulâs bedtime stories have become a team effortâone night youâre reading, the next itâs Yoongi, whoâs surprisingly great with voice acting and sound effects. (You should have known!) When Haneul finally drifts off, Yoongi always waits a moment, exchanging a small, tired smile with you as if to say, We did it.
And before you know it, that age-old crush that you said was buried in a metaphorical time capsule? Yoongi just dug it right back up.
One evening, as you rock Haneul to sleep in your arms, Yoongi comes in quietly, setting down a couple of takeout boxes and two cans of Coke on the coffee table. The babyâs small breaths are warm against your shoulder, his eyelids fluttering as he settles into sleep. You gently lay him down in his crib, brushing a hand over his soft hair before joining Yoongi on the couch.Â
âHungry?â Yoongi asks, sliding a takeout box in your direction. Heâs not looking directly at you, focused instead on peeling back the lid of his own food.
âStarving,â you admit, smiling as you pick up your chopsticks. âThank you.â
The quiet clinks of chopsticks and soft laughter fill the room as you both dig in. Conversation with Yoongi has started to come easier lately, and tonight, it flows so naturally you barely notice the time passing.Â
âSo, what got you into teaching?â he asks, glancing over at you between bites. âYou seem good at it. Really good, actually. Haneul has so many party tricks now.â
You pause, laughing a little to mask the warmth in your cheeks. âI just love kids. I enjoy their energy, even if itâs chaotic.â You glance down. âIâve always wanted my own. Just⌠hasnât quite worked out that way yet.â
He nods, not pressing you, just letting you continue.
âI was in a long-term relationship, but things ended because he wasnât looking for that kind of future,â you say quietly. âI really wanted a family, kids, but he didnât. He didnât even believe in marriage. So, it ended, and I guess thatâs why I left and went back home.âÂ
âIâm sorry to hear that. Must have been so difficult for you.â
You nod, swallowing down the ache that lingers. âYeah. I think part of me is still working through it, honestly. I hope you donât think this is weird. But being here, with HanâŚâ you sigh. âI donât know, itâs helping. Even if heâs not quite mine.â
Heâs quiet for a moment, his gaze shifting to his hands, fingers tracing the rim of his soda can. âItâs not weird. Look, youâve helped us a lot, too. Having you here has made things feel⌠lighter. Happier.â
The words send a flutter through you, a feeling that scares you as much as it comforts you. Because this feels too domestic. A taste of that life youâve always longed for. With Jiyong, for years. But now, itâs only Yoongiâs face you see in your mindâs eye. Yoongi and Haneul. You then realize how badly you want this, but youâre afraid of wanting itâafraid of what it might mean to get attached to someone like Yoongi.
âI appreciate that.â You reply. âHow have you been adjusting to life as a single dad?âÂ
Yoongi glances over at you, his gaze thoughtful. âI didnât expect that it would be this rewarding,â he says, his voice soft, but it trails off. âBut⌠itâs lonely sometimes.â He pauses, his fingers absentmindedly toying with the edge of his sleeve. âNot just the parenting stuff, but the other parts. Like when Haneul does something for the first timeâtakes a step, says a new wordâand I just⌠look around.â
He shrugs, his lips twitching into a small, self-conscious smile. âAnd it hits me that thereâs no one there to share it with. No one to laugh with, to say like, âHey, did you see that?ââ
He laughs quietly, a little embarrassed. âI donât know. Maybe that sounds selfish. But itâs the truth.â
You shake your head. âItâs not. I think we all want someone to share our life with. Itâs not wrong to want that.â
He looks over at you, his gaze holding yours with a gentle intensity. âI guess⌠itâs easier to admit that with you here. Itâs funny because in some ways, youâve been that person for me, for us.â
The words hang between you and the silence stretches, buzzing with a feeling you canât quite name. Youâre painfully aware of every detailâthe curve of his lips, the way his hand rests on his lap, the tenderness in his eyes. You know thereâs something there, simmering, and you wonder if he can feel it too.
Finally, he breaks the silence. âThanks for being here tonight. Really.â
You smile back, heart racing. âThank you for trusting me. I know⌠this isnât easy for you.â
As you sit there, side by side in your matching capybara slippers, the feeling of wanting more, of something real and lasting, settles into your chest. Itâs a feeling you thought youâd put on the backburner, but here, with Yoongi, itâs igniting again.
You find yourself chilling at Namjoonâs apartment, days after that dinner, sprawled across his couch with a plate of instant jjajangmyeon balanced precariously on your lap. Some indie album is playing in the background, and youâre too caught up in your spiraling thoughts to even notice Namjoon observing you between bites.
âIâm screwed,â you say suddenly, poking at your noodles with your chopsticks.
Namjoon doesnât even look affected. âWhat now?â
âItâs your fault, you big oaf.â
âK stop being cryptic,â he says, motioning for you to explain. âWhat did I do this time?â
You drop your chopsticks with an exasperated sigh. âYoongi.â
âMhm⌠What about hyung?â
You hesitate, pressing your lips together before blurting out, âI think⌠I think I like him⌠again.â
For a moment, Namjoon just stares at you, his expression unreadable. And then he has the audacity to laugh, nearly choking on his noodles as he leans back against the cushions.
âYouâre so predictable,â he says between chuckles, shaking his head. âGod I knew this was coming.â
You narrow your eyes at him, offended. âWhat do you mean you knew this was coming?â
âI mean, come on,â he says, gesturing at you with his chopsticks. âYouâve been spending all this time at his place, basically co-parenting Haneul with him. Youâre acting like this is some big revelation when itâs been written all over your face.â
You stare at him. âWow. Are you done?â
Namjoon smirks, tossing his empty takeout box onto the table before leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. âOkay, okay. Letâs unpack this,â he says, mock-serious. âYou like him again. Fine. Why is that a bad thing?â
âBecause, dude, itâs Yoongi. What if heâs not actually feeling it, which wonât be the first time? And! I still don't know why he suddenly has a son.â
âYou have to ask him that.â Namjoon sets his drink down, his expression sobering slightly. âBut answer thisâAre you over Jiyong?â
The mention of your ex makes your stomach twist, but you nod, sighing. âYeah. Iâm over him. Iâve come to terms with it. He wasnât the one for me.â
âDamn right, he wasnât,â Namjoon mutters, shaking his head. âThat guy was an asshole. I never liked him, you know.â
âI know,â you say, laughing softly. âYou made it pretty obvious.â
âGood,â he replies firmly. âBecause you deserve better. Way better.â
You glance at him, your heart warming a little. âThanks, Joon.â
âDonât thank me yet,â he says, leaning back against the couch. âWeâre not done talking about hyung.â
You groan again, flopping back against the cushions. âThis is so pathetic.â
âNo, itâs not,â Namjoon says, his voice softening. âItâs cute. Gross, but cute. And honestly, if hyungâs finally starting to let someone in, Iâd rather it be you than some rando.â
You blink, feeling the weight of his words settle over you. âYouâre really still shipping us after all these years?â
âOf course,â he says, nudging your knee with his. âYouâre good for each other. Iâve known this all along.â
A pause settles as you finish your meal and Namjoon, his drink.
Then, he shakes his head like heâs just realized something. âSo this is why Yoongi hyung has been sneaking in some extra work out time in between rehearsals.â
âHeâs been walking around his house shirtless. Well, itâs his house, soâŚâ you shrug, pretending you dgaf when really youâve been thwarting mini heart attacks.
Namjoonâs eyes widen. âNo fuckinâ way.â
âDonât you dare tell him,â you warn, pointing your chopsticks at him.
He smiles wide, teeth blackened by the jajangmyeon sauce. âOnly if you say yes to a night out.â
You groan, already mourning the loss of a perfectly good night of doom scrolling, as you toss him a paper towel. âFine. When?â
You arrive at the bar later than planned. Itâs some newly opened speak-easy in Gangnam owned by Joonâs friend. As you push the door that looks like a bookcase from outside, a rush of cool air ruffles the skirt youâre wearing. You definitely took a bit of time selecting your outfit and doing your makeup today, and now you feel really good, great even, even though you initially dreaded going out.
As you scan the room, you spot Namjoon in a large circular booth near the back, surrounded by familiar faces. He spots you first, waving you over with that dimpled grin of his. As you approach, you notice that the atmosphere is already loose and lively, evidenced by the various bottles and half-consumed glasses already on the table.Â
Jin is leaning back, looking exasperated, and Hobi is covering his mouth as he laughs, his face flushed from the drinks heâs clearly had more than a few of. And thereâs a girl beside him, who you vaguely recognize as the same one from when you watched their rehearsals.
âLook who finally decided to show up!â Namjoon calls out, standing up to envelop you in a hug.
âThe star has arrived,â you jest, doing a flower pose on your face. Hobi rises to give you a hug, then Jin follows suit.Â
âThis is Yunjin,â Hobi introduces the redhead beside him. âMy lovely wife.â
Yunjin has the same megawatt smile to match Hobiâs. âGlad to meet you.â
âGood to meet you, too!â you say back as you hug.
âYou clean up nice,â your best friend comments as you all settle back inside the booth. âWhen youâre not acting like a hermit in your condo.â
âI know,â you roll your eyes, surreptitiously scanning the vicinity. âWho else is coming?â you hope youâre not painfully obvious on who you were wishing would be there.
âJust us,â Joon side eyes you, before adding. âYoongi-hyung just stepped away for a second.â
âAh.âÂ
As if on cue, Yoongi steps into view.
And goddamn. Your brain corrupts for a moment, and you swear you hear soft K-drama OST music in the background.
He runs a hand through his hair as he surveys the room as if he has some invisible wind machine following him. Heâs wearing a black blazer that fits perfectly over a simple white tank. Thereâs a flash of silver at his waist from his belt that hugs his light-wash jeans. A small pop of pink on his neck somehow softens the whole look, a cute touch.
He looks so effortlessly good itâs almost obnoxious. The thing is, youâre pretty sure he knows it. That smirk on his face is very telling.
âHey, you made it,â he says quietly, sliding into the seat next to you as if he belongs there. He grabs the drink by your elbow to take a sip and you get a whiff of his scentâmusky, woody, dangerous.
âYeah,â you squeak, no clue how you will manage to act normally around him now, but a joke seemed appropriate. âShit. Nobody said my âemployerâ was gonna be here. Now I have to be on my best behavior.â You say to the others in a whisper.
âDONâT,â Yoongi groans, shaking his head, lower lip bitten in mock irritation.
The rest laugh at your exchange. Hobi slides a shot of whatever to you, and you take it, grateful.
âYou missed a big reveal by the way,â Namjoon says. âApparently, Jin-hyung has officially sworn off women for all eternity.â
Jin rolls his eyes. âHa-ha. Itâs called having a life outside of getting your dick wet, thank you very much. Not everyone needs to be a simp like you.â
âWho is it this time, Joonie?â You ask, taking a tiny sip from the shot glass.
âSoyeon.â Everyone says in chorus. Even Yoongi says it under his breath.
âOh, god,â you breathe out. âYouâre on again?â
Namjoon sighs, âI know, I know. Sheâs got me in a chokehold.â
Jin raises his drink. âTo Namjoon-ah, the biggest simp we know.â
Namjoon shakes his head, laughing in defeat as everyone clinks glasses.
ââŚand to Seokjin being forever bitchless.â You add under your breath, exchanging giggles with Yunjin.
âYah!â Jin shouts from his beer glass and you throw him a wink.
âSpeaking of simping,â Hobi says, drawing out the word as he looks pointedly at Yoongi.Â
âHoba.â Yoongi warns. Youâre curious now.
âThe new songwriters Si-hyuk on-boarded from America. They saw you with Haneul. I heard them calling you a DILF.â
Hobi practically falls apart, laughing so hard he clutches his sides. Jin and Namjoon arenât far behind, their cackling attracting stares from neighboring tables. Even Yoongi canât fully suppress his grin, though he tries valiantly to play it off. You laugh along, but you feel your face heating up and you donât know exactly why.
âSo you already have an in,â Jin says, reaching over to give Yoongi a hearty slap on the back. âEven you could use a good distraction once in a while.â
âHajimaaaa,â Yoongi complains, brushing off Jinâs grasp on his shoulder. âHobaâs just making shit up.â
âIâm not lying!â Hobi raises his right hand up as if heâs swearing an oath. Then he mock-complains, âNobody ever calls me a DILF.â
Yunjin elbows him on the stomach and Hobi splutters, as they start bickering playfully.
Then Namjoon turns his sights on you. âHey y/n, you're a girl,â he starts and immediately, you know he is setting you up for something.
âKeen eye,â you deadpan, placing the shot glass on your lips.
âSo,â Namjoon says, dimples deepening as he leans in, gestures to Yoongi, âobjectively⌠is he?â
âIs he what?â you grit, but your eyes are screaming âDonât you dare, Kim Namjoon. Donât you fucking dare, you piece of shit.â
Namjoon raises his eyebrows, looking every bit the trouble-maker. âA DILF?â
Motherfucker.
You nearly choke on your drink, fighting the urge to strangle your best friend as his grin widens, clearly enjoying your discomfort.Â
âYouâre an asshole, objectively speaking. And I need a real drink if this is how tonightâs gonna go,â you down the entire shot before moving to slide out of the booth to escape before youâre forced to answer.
Yoongi moves out to give you space and decides, âIâll go with you.âÂ
As you head toward the bar together, you feel the warmth of Yoongiâs hand on the small of your back. You chance a quick look back at Namjoon, whoâs wearing an absolute shit-eating grin, clearly pleased with himself, like this has been his master plan all alongâmore than ten years in the making.
You decide to go to the bar outside. Itâs quieter here and you also need the fresh air.
âSorry about thatâŚâ Yoongi scratches the back of his neck.
âOh please, no need to apologize for Namjoonâs dumb behavior.â You wave a hand, as if itâs really no big deal. But your insides are still churning.
âSo whoâs with Haneul tonight?â You ask as you perch on the bar stool.
âMy eomma. Sheâs going to be staying in town for the next two weeks since itâs Hanâs birthday.â
âWow,â you say, excited. âWhatâs the plan?â
Yoongi shrugs. âAh, something small. Just family, maybe a couple of friends. Nothing too big. He wonât even remember it.â
You laugh lightly. âYeah, but you should be celebrating your first year as a dad, too.â
He smiles faintly at that, nodding. âMaybe. But Iâm terrible at planning stuff like this. I was gonna keep it simpleâa cake, some balloons, thatâs it.â
âWell, if you need help, let me know,â you offer casually, trying to keep your tone light even as your stomach flutters at the thought of being part of something so special.
âYou sure?â
â100%,â you say, nudging him lightly with your elbow.Â
âI donât want to impose, though. You already do so much.â
âYouâre not imposing,â you reply firmly. âI want to help. Besides, Iâm already halfway to being Hanâs favorite person.â
âHalfway?â he repeats, huffing. âYouâve already taken that spotâ100%.â
You grin, feeling your cheeks warm. âWhat can I say? Iâm irresistible to one-year-olds.â
Yoongiâs still for a moment, his gaze lingering on you. Thereâs something thoughtful in his expression, before mumbling under his breath, âMaybe not just to one-year-olds.â
Eh?
But before you can say anything, he already gestures to call the bartender to take your drink orders.
Youâre glad you went out tonight. Itâs been a while since you had spent time with a group that made you feel so welcome. Despite the jovial mood youâre in, your social battery is definitely drained. Yoongi notices and asks if you want a ride home since he also needs to go for father duties. You both say your goodbyes and head to his car in the parking lot.
The drive is quiet but not awkward, the soft music filling the space between you during the quick drive to your apartment. When he pulls up in front of your place, you hesitate for a second, debating whether to invite him in. But then you remember the absolute disaster insideâclothes flung everywhere, shoes scattered, your makeup bag abandoned on the kitchen counter in your rush to get ready. Plus, you donât even have a couch, soâŚ
âThanks for the ride,â you say, unbuckling your seatbelt. âIâd invite you in, but, uh⌠my place looks like a crime scene right now.â
He has a confused look on his face, so you explain, âTried on half my closet before settling on this.â
His gaze sweeps over your outfit, but not in a way that feels invasive. If anything, he looks appreciative. âWorth it,â he says simply, and your heart does a somersault.
Thereâs a moment, a pause where you should say goodnight. Get out of the car. But something about the way Yoongiâs eyes are still on you makes your pulse quicken, and suddenly, itâs like the air between you feels heavier.
âStay here,â he says softly, stepping out of the car and walking around to your side. He opens your door, his hand outstretched to help you out, and you take it, letting him guide you onto the sidewalk.
He doesnât let go of your hand. The short walk up to your apartment feels longer than it should, yet you donât want it to end.
When you reach your door, you turn to face him, suddenly unsure of what to say. âWell⌠goodnight, I guess.â
Yoongi hesitates for a moment, hand still lightly grasping yours. âI need to tell you something.â
âOkayâŚâ Your throat felt dry saying that.
âI umm found Haneul a nanny. Youngbae-hyung recommended this agency they used to find theirs and Iâve signed on someone whoâs starting soon.â
Youâre a little shocked at the news. This is good though because Yoongi really needs a more reliable and constant solution to their caregiving needs. Despite the heavy feeling that has settled in your chest, you try to lighten the mood with a joke that doesnât quite land, âWhy does this feel like a break-up?â
Yoongi shakes his head, lips curved into a small smirk, as he tucks a stray hair behind your ear, âNot even close.â He releases a sigh. âCan I ask you something?â
âSure,â you nod, your voice barely above a whisper.
âCan I kiss you goodnight?â
The question takes you by surprise, the vulnerability in his voice making your heart ache, but this time, in the best way. You nod, smiling softly. âYeah. You can.â
He steps closer, his hand brushing lightly against your arm before tilting your chin up gently. The kiss is soft, tentative, like heâs savoring every second. You are, too. Itâs just⌠sweet. Like a first kiss should be. Perfect.
When he pulls back, his forehead rests lightly against yours, and you can feel the warmth of his breath against your lips. For a moment, neither of you moves, like you canât believe what just happened.
Yoongiâs eyes flutter shut as he confesses, âIs it bad that I want to do that again already?â
âNo, âcause sameâŚâ Your hands reach out, grasping the lapels of his jacket, and you pull him back in.
Yoongi responds instantly, his hands sliding to your waist as he presses you gently against the wall, his warmth and weight upon you dangerously addictive. His tongue brushes yours, soft and slick, that spark of contact so electric that you feel yourself melting further into him. Your arms loop around his neck, bringing him closer, and when his lips part against yours, his teeth catch your bottom lip, sucking on it softly before letting it go. The sensation sends a shiver racing down your spine, and you canât help the quiet moan that escapes you.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, threading through the silky strands before one hand slides down to find the belt loop of his jeans. You tug on it, pulling him impossibly closer, until thereâs no space left between your bodies.
Yoongi groans against your mouth as your bodies collide, your chest against his, his leg in between your thighs, fitting into each other like tetris pieces. As your nails scratch the tufts of hair by his nape, a rumble, low and rough, escapes his throat, sending another wave of heat straight to your core. His hands grip your waist tighter, grounding you even as your world shifts.
When you finally pull back, your breaths come fast and uneven. His hair is slightly mussed from your fingers, his lips flushed and slightly parted, and he looks at you with a mix of wonder. You feel kind of proud, taking in his sexy, disheveled appearance.
âI really shouldâve tidied up my place,â you murmur, your fingers still loosely hooked in his belt loop.
Yoongi blinks, dazed for a moment, before letting out a soft chuckle. âItâs fine. There will be other times.â His fingers brush against your shoulder as he gently hooks the strap of your top that had slipped down, carefully sliding it back into place.
âOther times, huh?â you tease.
He licks his kiss-bitten lip, smirks and says, âGood night.â
âGood night,â you reply as you watch him retreat down the hall.
âIâll text you,â he calls over his shoulder before disappearing into the elevator, leaving you standing at your doorway, your lips still tingling and your heart on your sleeve.
You close the door, leaning back against it with a sigh.
That same night, you resolve to go to IKEA to finally buy a damn couch and a bedframe. You know, just in case. For those other times.
Yoongi: haneul says he misses you You: Oh, rly? He talks full sentences now? Yoongi: yes? You: I miss him, too. Yoongi: good. see u tomorrow? You: Iâm so there, no question Yoongi: good night
Yoongiâs apartment is alive with energy, the living room transformed into a whimsicalâbut slightly chaoticâmix of cats and capybaras. Itâs a theme that feels both playful and oddly fitting, a nod to Haneulâs love for capybaras (which you take full credit for) and Yoongi being a literal cat daddy. Yours, hopefully, but the thing is⌠itâs been awkward. At least for you.
You spent the morning hanging streamers, tying balloons, and carefully setting up the decorations while Yoongi grumbled about the sheer number of things to assemble.
At some point, Yoongi takes your hand and introduces you to his mom. Just your nameâno label, no context, no indication of what you are to him beyond someone who is here, present, and involved. It had been a brief, polite exchange, but you couldnât help the twinge of awkwardness that followed, even if Yoongiâs hand stayed clasped with yours and he may have dropped a chaste kiss on top of your head before he had to go say hi to other guests.Â
Your relationshipâor lack thereofâstill feels undefined. You havenât had the talk with Yoongi since that kiss after the night out. Youâre in this off, lukewarm state, caught somewhere between the heat of semi-flirty late-night texts and the cold hard truth that heâs been too busy to really sit down and talk. With their comeback just weeks away, his rehearsals have been relentless, and youâve told yourself not to take it personally. You know how this goes.
But still. Seeing him now, watching him laugh softly at something Namjoon said while adjusting Haneulâs tiny party hat, a knot twists in your stomach. You just donât know how to properly operate in this space thatâs in flux.
You shake the thoughts away, willing yourself to shelf the conversation for later. Itâs Haneulâs day, you remind yourself. Whatever questions you have about you and Yoongi can wait.
âNoona, these cupcakes are so good!â Jungkook calls out, holding up one with a cat face on it.
âThank you, Kook! Canât take credit for them though. I just got them from a pastry shop near my place.â
âStill, youâve got good taste,â he says, licking the frosting that makes up the catâs tail.
Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Yoongi, closest to the door, moves to answer it. You donât think much of it until you hear Yoongiâs voice croak. âWhat are you doing here?â
Curiosity piqued, you glance toward the doorway, and thatâs when you see her.
Tall, gorgeous, and impossible to miss. Lee Sung Kyung steps inside, her polished, effortless elegance making her stand out. She barely spares a glance at anyone else, her focus entirely on Yoongi.
Your stomach drops. You have a bad feeling about this.
Namjoon is at your side in an instant, his voice low. âHey⌠I think we need to talk.â
âWhat?â you ask, forcing a smile as you pick up a napkin, pretending to tidy the already-organized table. But your eyes are glued to the scene by the entrance, at Yoongiâs clenched jaw, and Sung Kyungâs outstretched arm.
You feel a little miffed that Namjoon takes you by the elbow, voice insistent as he says, âNOW.â
"Joon," You ask, mustering all your courage, even though you are terrified of the answer. "Who is she?"
"She's Lee Sung Kyung."
Your ears are ringing and you grit your teeth as you respond, "I fucking know her name." You repeat the question, slower, a little angrier. "Who. is. she."
Namjoon hesitates, his jaw tightening before he answers. âSheâs Haneulâs mom.â
Part Three >
A/N: dun dun DUN. đ I need y'all in the comments! <3 How are you feeling??? Feedback is super appreciated and helps keep my motivation high â¨
I am so excited to share part 3.
Hope you all are sattt đŞ
Thank you for reading, you lovely, beautiful human! đ
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ft: tanjiro kamado, zenitsu agatsuma, inosuke hashibira, kanao tsuyuri, genya shinazugawa
Genlas canon Iâm ufotable so what if I made a kny oc bcs of genya đŁď¸ ăťignore how half of these are about sleep
# tanjiro ! â
TANJIRO is such a sweetheart, he really is. But when it comes to sticking to a schedule, he does not make any shortcut or excuses to what will happen. Whatever the schedule says goes no ifs ands or buts. Thankfully he only uses a morning routine anyways.
He had heard from both Rengoku and Mitsuri that having a morning schedule is very good to prepare you for the day. So tanjiro has one to! He tries to get you to follow the routine along with him but you would rather stay in bed instead..
The moment the sun begins to rise is the time Tanjiro wakes up as well. Itâs almost as if his body had a set in clock to wake him up. He already gets himself up before he comes and âpestersâ you, who is still sound asleep when heâs ready to start the day. Tanjiro only pokes your cheek trying to get you to wake up.
You only groan turning your body over as you already know what heâs waking you up for. âTanjiro I donât even think the sun is up yet..â you mumble putting a pillow over your head. Tanjiro only silently laughs before replying âThat doesnât mean we canât wake up either, if we donât go fast weâre going to miss our time to train before leaving!â He only flashes a beaming smile, you wished to see that smile in your dreams right now instead.
# zenitsu ! â
If he had to be honest ZENITSU is unironically really clumsy. Sometimes heâs doing it to get a laugh out of you, but other times heâs genuinely falling. He canât help it! It used to be something that happened every now and then but itâs almost become more of a habit of his now.
Even if everybody knows he really is just clumsy, if your around without fail heâll try to play it off like it was on purpose. If your around and heâs already mid fall heâs going to try and stick the landing to make it seem like he was being funny and just doing it on purpose. Other times when itâs too late to cover up his mistake he tries to cover it up with a cheesy pick up line.
Youâre only sharpening your sword, admiring the peace until itâs disrupted once again. You can hear a very familiar voice chanting your name as the voice only grows closer and closer. You turn around to see zenitsu rushing towards you after turning a corner, and from what you can tell he has a couple of flowers in his hand.
Itâs only when he gets closer is when he somehow manages to trip on whatever was in his path. He comes tumbling towards you as you rush to his aid only to see him quickly put a rose in his mouth. He stares at you with a prideful gaze as you bite back a laugh. You canât hold it in anymore once he screams howling something along the lines of âTHE ROSE POKED ME!!â
# inosuke ! â
Sleeping around INOSUKE is no fun at all. He normally has a lot of energy so staying up late is a given, if you manage to actually fall asleep before he does your lucky. If he even manages to get tired and get close to a bed youâre doomed.
When inosuke is asleep there is nothing that is going to wake him up except himself. He is stone cold asleep meaning whatever he does do in his asleep is a complete ball game to deal with. Itâs obvious that he is going to be uncomfortably loud, but he really handsy and not in the romantic way at all..
You groan on the edge of the bed as the cold air breezes against you, an hour before you were very much comfortable in the bed, alone at least. The moment inosuke toppled into bed was when everything came to an end. He took all the blankets for himself, he sprawled out taking up most of the space, and did this all while asleep already.
Not to mention the fact he was almost louder than when kyojuro when heâs talking whenever he snores. Every other moment the room rattles with how loud he is. To the point where you get so fed up you grab the one pillow you can find and move to sleep on the couch. It was much easier falling asleep on the couch, the only problem is when you woke up you find inosuke still completely asleep on top of you.
# kanao ! â
A lot of people donât realize that KANAO can be unusually blunt. Around you she feels more open to speak her mind about something and without realizing it. Her words can come out much more harsh than she had originally intended it.
When sheâs around you sheâs much more careful at watching her tongue, as she obviously does not wish to hurt your feelings. Which she is really good at!! But if you ask for honest criticism she canât say that she wonât hold back even on you.
You stare at kanaoâs paper as she continues to sketch the treeline in the window Infront of the both of you. Youâre impressed by her eye for art and even wonder if she could give you some tips as well. Itâs not like you havenât been practicing after all! âKanao? Would you mind giving me some tips on how to improve my drawing? Honest criticism please.â You ask the girl as she turns to you. Kanao stares down at your drawing seeing what she believes is a samurai down on your paper.
She looks up back at you taking a deep breath before saying, âwell your drawing isnât near accurate to what time period I assume youâre going for. The proportions are off, the armor plates arenât in the right place, the blade is incorrect, the legs arenât even or balance the upper body.â Your jaw drops as kanao only looks back at you putting a hand on your shoulder. âI could help you if you like.â She hopes this would make up for shock she put on your face
# genya ! â
While GENYA can normally keep things together, there are times where he doesnât keep track how long he has been a demon. Itâs rare considering he normally on a mission for this to ever really happen, but it doesnât mean it hasnât.
The mission had gone well to say the least but everything had gone on for so long. Task after task, minute after minute Genya had become more weary and more irritable. By the time he was actually released he couldnât care about anything except going to bed. On the plus side it would mean he could see your face as well.
When he finally made it to the inn you to weâre staying at he didnât think twice about immediately moving towards the bedrooms. He failed to see his reflection or acknowledge how loud his footsteps were moving around the house. You groggily open your eyes startled awake by the incoming noise, you donât remember anybody staying with you. Not until a shadow peers through the doorway.
You turn around to see yellow eyes stand out from the dark hallway. They pierce menacingly almost into the room your in, slowly creeping closer in the dark. Naturally you scream but your surprised when the figure screams to. It stumbles around the room until it can see its own reflection. Itâs only then when you realize itâs just genya who didnât even realize he was a demon himself. He only mumbles out a small âohh..â before climbing into bed to try and trying to apologize to you..
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer x reader#kny x reader#x reader#fluff#kny#@.komoboko writes#headcanon#kny fluff#kamaboko squad x reader#kamaboko squad#tanjiro x reader#zenitsu x reader#inosuke x reader#kanao x reader#genya x reader#genya shinazugawa x reader#kanao tsuyuri x reader#inosuke hashibira x reader#zenitsu agatsuma x reader#tanjiro kamado x reader
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Gonna be real, my first time watching THAT scene I honestly wasnât sure how they were ever gonna patch things up because I canât even imagine the pain of standing in Crowleyâs place after 6,000 years of loving someone in silence, trying to show them who you are at every opportunity, painstakingly chipping away at the delusion theyâve bought into since the beginning (more than you ever did) in order to show them the truthâto show them who you are (who the two of you could be together) âand then just as youâve finally worked up the courage to lay it all out there and toss the dice hoping (with what, for the first time, youâre starting to believe are less than doomed odds) that theyâll love you back and that it will be enoughâonly for all of it to be dragged out from under you because they look you in the eye and all but tell you that they never understood you at all. They werenât listening. And, sure they want what you want (to be together), they love you back (still unspoken but legible in the way they glow at the thought that they might still save you) (as if you need saving) (as if youâd want it)âbut not as you are. They think the change they ask of you would be received as a grace and the betrayal of that is gut wrenching in a way that no flat out rejection could be, I think. If I were Crowley, I canât imagine how Iâd come back from that.
But then I watched the scene again. The moments after that betrayal. Once Crowleyâs put his glasses back on, raised his defenses and sounded the retreat. I wondered, watching the scene again, how it could ever reach the point where the kiss made sense when they were already so torn apart. But the thing is that no matter how wrong Aziraphale was to want things to go back to the âway they wereâ, everything that led him to that conclusion comes from the thing Crowley loves most about him: his goodness. Aziraphale is good in a way that heaven is not, and Crowley knows that, but Aziraphale still hasnât learned that lesson. He wants so desperately still to believe in god and heaven and the ineffable plan and even though itâs that desire thatâs led him to hurt Crowley, I donât think Crowley can completely begrudge him. By the time Crowleyâs walking out of the book shop, the betrayal has already fadedânot gone, but less than when compared to his sadness for Aziraphale and what his angel is going to go through when heaven lets him down (again)âassuming that it doesnât just break him.
And the kissâthat fucking kiss (be still my beating heart)âthat was Crowley planting a seed. âI know better than you doâ he says and he does because Crowley has always been more honest with himself than Mr. âMaster class in self delusionâ A. Z. Fell. Aziraphale is about to be more alone and more lost than he has been in 6,000 years, so Crowley needed to make 100% clear to him where solid ground was. Aziraphale wonât be able to rationalize this away or hide behind propriety because it can only mean one thing and that is that he is in love with a demon whose on his own side with no interest in ever rejoining the heavenly host because heaven is not the epitome of goodness or love that he so desperately wants to believe it is. Itâs not even capable of being thatâno matter how hard Aziraphale tries to bend it back into what he thinks is itâs natural shape (because isnât that what he wants so desperately to do as chief archangel? To make heaven the place heâs always thought it was?). Crowley really said âwhatever you do next, do it knowing I love youâ. He said âIâm done letting you ignore this.â And I get it. Cards on the table means cards on the table. No more half measures no more dancing around itâany of it. If Aziraphale wants to walk into the belly of the beast, then the least Crowley can do is make sure heâs doing it with his eyes wide open.
#good omens#good omens 2 spoilers#good omens spoilers#good omens season 2#crowly x aziraphale#itâs about the pain and the love mingling so closely together that you canât separate them anymore#the one is the other#and youâd take them both if it only meant you could have him
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