#were going back in time to the first thanksgiving to get turkey off the menu…
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bewitchedmold · 9 months ago
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You get in Mista's car and Animals by Maroon 5 starts playing
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httpfr3shlyrtten · 1 year ago
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Some may look off, was drawn in a rush.
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(Translation from Georgian)
“I LIKE YOU!!”
“Me too❤️”
A scene from my au/fanfic in a nutshell LMAOOO
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passionateclown · 1 year ago
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god I will be insufferable when november arrives
do me a favor guys and gO BACK IN TIME, TO THE FIRST THANKSGIVING! TO GET TURKEYS OFF THE MENU.
THATS RIGHT! WERE GOING BACK IN TIME, TO THE FIRST THANKSGIVING! TO GET TURKEYS OFF THE MENU.
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sammiethemusicman · 1 year ago
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Thanksgiving is just a Christmas pregame what the fuck is a pilgrim
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oso-nan · 2 years ago
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tfw i talk to myself constantly about feeling excluded from things when i actively choose to exclude myself from things
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arcsin27 · 1 year ago
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🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃
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beerdrinker6000 · 3 days ago
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yoonsivesworld · 1 year ago
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were going back in tiem, to the fiorst tyhabksigivjkng to get turket ooff th emenu. THANSS RIGHTT!!! were goiugng basck in time to the first thankjskgiving to pgegt UTURGEEY oOFF THEmMerNEU
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bitit · 1 year ago
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this is what im looking for
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foldingfittedsheets · 10 months ago
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A silly holiday story time:
At thanksgiving one year my family had all gathered at my nana’s house for the family meal. My family are… not cooks. In more recent years I’ve had to warn my betrothed to lower their expectations of what we’re going to be fed. They hear the menu and think, well that sounds okay only to eat the blandest most poorly cooked food to ever shame our ancestors.
But the year in question I was still but a teenager and had not yet learned better food existed. I knew next to nothing about cooking, nor did my nana, so I was vaguely puzzled when she volunteered to cook a turkey.
It was good fortune really that I was in the kitchen when she came to check on it. I watched quietly while she opened the oven and made a sound of disgust at the juices surrounding the bird in its pan. She opened the oven door wider. She looked from the oven to her trash can. She looked back in the oven.
“Are you- uh- are you thinking to pour that juice in the trash?”
“Yeah! It’s gross, I’m just trying to figure out how.”
I, with my mere seventeen years of life experience looked at my fully grown wizened grandparent in bafflement. “If you pour that in the trash it’s going to melt through the bag, and also probably through the trash can itself? It’s really hot?”
She looked surprised to hear this basic law of thermodynamics, looking at the bubbling well of turkey fat as if seeing it for the first time. She then turned back to me, a child who had never learned to cook, “Well what am I supposed to do with it?”
“I think you leave it there? And-“
What I said next was cobbled together from television, pop culture, and American teens fixation on the hilarity of the tool for sex jokes-
“I think you baste it? There’s like a thing you get the juice in to squirt back on the top?”
She made a thoughtful hmm and closed the oven again, wandering back into the living room. I took a moment to imagine the alternate timeline where my family cleaned burning hot fat and melted plastic off the floor.
By and by our underwhelming dinner was completed and we tucked in. My mom keeps chickens so as we finished our food we put all our scraps into a big bowl that was going to the birds. We filled it with dry under seasoned turkey, stuffing, unfinished mashed potatoes, half eaten dinner rolls, etc.
As we were all lounging in contented fullness my brother finally arrived. Being older he had the luxury of showing up to family events hours late. He greeted everyone and went to fix himself a plate. He came out of the kitchen carrying the metal bowl of scraps, delightedly mowing through it.
My mom looked up and started laughing and we all turned to follow suit.
“What?” he asked.
“That’s the bowl for the chickens! Why did you pick that instead of making a plate?”
“This had everything!” he protested, showing us the conglomeration of every component of dinner all mixed up in one bowl.
He sat down and finished the whole massive bowl, unbothered by eating scraps, and the family watched in fascination. His only comment at the end was, “That was great! Turkey was a little dry.”
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guess-my-next-obsession · 1 year ago
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Peña’s Anatomy, Chapter Seventeen:
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pairing: surgeon au!javier peña x f!resident!reader (Lucky)
rating: E (18+ ONLY, this one is just fluff and smut yall, food play?, body worship??, oral (m&f rec), fingering, unprotected piv, Javi has a mouth on him)
wc: 5k
series masterlist | Javi P masterlist
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Two Months Later
“Jav!” you called from the kitchen, your eyes locked on the veggies you were chopping for tonight’s Thanksgiving dinner you and Javier were hosting. Tonight was a big deal not only because of the holiday, but because this marked Mickey’s first outing since recovering from her surgery and you and Javi’s first ever big holiday together. You had your shifts for the week covered by a coworker and Javi had taken the week off solely because the thought of you at home—in bed—without him sounded like torture.
Rounding the corner from the living room, Javi walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your middle, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Yea, bebita?”
“Can you baste the turkey?” You set your knife down and turned your head and pecked his cheek. “Pretty please?”
“One condition,” he said, resting his hands on your hips so that he could turn you to face him, pinning you between his body and the counter. He brought his lips close to yours, smiling at the way you leaned forward to seek them out. “Gotta give me a real kiss.”
You grinned and crossed your arms over his shoulders, pulling him even closer as your lips molded together.
“Gotta get my fill before everyone gets here,” he mumbled as he pecked your lips. “Matter of fact—“ He pulled away to look down at his watch, finding that the two of you had at least another hour before anyone dared to show up. “Why don’t we go kill some time in the bedroom?”
“I have a feast to prepare,” you chuckled, lifting your hand to cover his mouth as he leaned in for another persuasive kiss.
“Can I at least have a little appetizer while you work?” he asked, flickering his eyes down to your lower half.
“Javi,” you laughed, playfully pushing him away. “We both know I can’t multitask while you’re doing that.”
“Because I’m so good at it?” he smiled, walking over to the oven to baste the turkey like you asked.
“And so humble,” you snarked.
“So what’s on the menu for tonight besides my beautiful turkey?” he said, his eyes focused on the slowly goldening skin of the turkey he’d insisted on being in charge of preparing.
“Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, some roasted veggies, sweet potato casserole—“
“Oh,” he moaned at the mention of your world famous sweet potato casserole that you made for him for the first time last month. “Can you make extra of that? I want leftovers of the leftovers of the leftovers, bebita.”
You smiled at his enthusiasm, and nudged your head towards the fridge.
“Look in there and tell me if that’s enough,” you said.
Javi finished basting the turkey and tucked it back into the oven before heading over to the fridge and opening it to find two large rectangular pans of the casserole that you’d prepped the night before.
“God, I’ve never loved you more.”
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After two hours of working on the feast, 2 p.m. rolled around and the first of your guests arrived at your door.
“Hey!” You greeted Mickey with a tight hug as though you hadn’t seen her in months when in reality you’d just been over to visit her last week. “How’re you feeling?”
“Really good, actually. The incisions have finally healed, the baby is doing good, I’ve got full range of motion in my neck again, and…” she said, smiling widely as she slowly lifted her left hand to show off the diamond on her ring finger, effectively causing your jaw to drop to the ground.
“Holy shit—“ Javi said, finally meeting you at the door. “That’s, uh…congrats, Mick.”
You turned to him with a suspicious look, unsure of why he looked pale as a ghost but chose to drop it in favor of getting the full engagement story from Mickey.
“Come inside and tell me everything, I’m stunned,” you said, pulling Mickey into the house with your arm looped around hers.
“It was pretty low key. Rich took me out to dinner a few nights ago to celebrate my recovery, or so I thought, and long story short, he proposed and I wanted to wait to tell you in person—“
“Congratu-fucking-lations, Mick,” you gushed, squeezing her arm. “He’s got great taste.”
“I doubt he actually picked it out,” Javi said, inserting himself into the conversation, earning a glare from you.
“Well, he’s the one who paid for it, all that matters to me,” Mickey quipped.
“Is Richard coming tonight?” you asked, leading her into the kitchen.
“No, he’s stuck at the hospital,” she frowned. “It’s his first shift back since my surgery, and honestly I didn’t understand you and Javi wanting to be around each other all the time until now. Now, it feels so weird to be somewhere without him.”
“Aw, she has a heart,” you teased.
Mickey glanced over her shoulder to check for Javi’s presence, finding him out in the backyard smoking a cigarette while McCartney ran around in the leaves.
“Speaking of Javi…is he in a bad mood or something?” she asked. “What was all that about?”
“I don’t know!” you whispered enthusiastically. “He’s been totally normal, maybe even a little extra-lovey dovey. I don’t know why he’s suddenly so…weird.”
“Well, you did say he wanted to propose.”
“You don’t think—“
“I think me and Richard accidentally stole his thunder,” she said, wincing.
“He wouldn’t propose to me in front of people,” you countered. “I’ve made myself clear on that point.”
“Well, I can’t think of anything else. Unless he’s secretly been in love with me this whole time and just got his heart broken,” she joked.
“That’s a good point. Does Richard eat ass? Javi eats ass. You might want to reconsider your decision,” you played along as you stirred the stuffing in a big pot.
“You know, Richard doesn’t go…down,” she blurted, earning a gasp.
“You don’t mean—“
“Yep,” she nodded. “But surprisingly, he gets the job done without it.”
You winced, shaking your head. “Everytime I learn something new about Dick Mann, I regret it.”
The sliding glass patio door opening signaled Javi’s entrance to the house, his scowl on unabashedly as he walked into the kitchen, smelling like smoke, to grab a rare beer for himself.
“Jav?” you called carefully, earning his eyes on yours. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” he shrugged, though the dryness in his tone did little to persuade you.
“You sure? You look a little—“
“I’m fine, bebita,” he assured, walking over to press a kiss on your cheek. “Sorry I smell like smoke.”
“You wear it well,” you said, reaching to pinch his chin. “When’s your dad getting here?”
“I get to meet Peña Sr.?” Mickey interjected with a playful smile.
“He’s supposed be here any second—“
The doorbell rang as if on cue.
“I’ll get it,” Javi said, giving you one more peck before walking off to the front door.
“Is he like…is he like Javi? Brooding and grumpy?” Mickey asked in a whisper, making you smile.
“Javi’s not like that,” you argued playfully. “But yeah, Chucho and Javi are pretty similar. Chucho’s a little more friendly, I’d say.”
“Mija,” Chucho walked in with a hobble, resting on his cane as he made his way to you to give you a quick hug. “Smells good in here.”
“Thank you,” you smiled before gesturing at Mickey. “This is my friend Mickey.”
“Ah, the walking miracle,” he said, hobbling over to give her a handshake. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling much better, thank you,” she smiled. “Which one of these two broke HIPAA to tell you?”
“Javi,” he replied, selling out his sim instantly.
“You weren’t my client anymore,” Javi defended himself as he walked in. “Makes it a little better.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to sue you, Dr. Peña,” she said. “Although, judging by your house, I think you could survive it.”
“Oh! Speaking of fancy things, guess who finally got a car,” you said, smiling proudly.
“Is it here?” Mickey sprung up from her seat at the island.
“No, it’s still at the dealership because Javi insisted I needed to upgrade the tires and stereo—“
“You did,” he said. “Better to get it done now by the dealership than to have a mechanic upcharge you later.”
“What did you get, Mija?” Chucho asked, accepting a beer from Javi.
“I got a Honda,” you replied. “Nothing too fancy, but fancy by my standards.”
“I tried to convince her to get a Volvo or something like that, but—“
“But I’m not an attending yet and can’t afford car payment,” you reasoned.
“And she refuses to let me help,” he lovingly scolded, making eyes at you from across the room.
“I offered to by his truck—“
“That old thing?” Chucho asked, chuckling at the mere thought. “
“That’s what I said,” Javi agreed.
The doorbell ringing again signaled the arrival of your next set of guests: Connie, Steve, and their daughter Olivia.
“Y’all ain’t got the game on?” Steve asked as he got settled in the living room with Olivia and her toys, Javi and Chucho joining them while you stayed in the kitchen with Connie and Mickey to finish off dinner.
“Oh my god!” Connie squealed at the sight of Mickey’s ring before pulling her into the living room with her. “Steve, look at this rock on Mickey’s finger.”
Now all alone, your guests busy with conversation on the football game blaring on your living room TV, Javi snuck his way into the kitchen to join you for a moment of privacy.
“Hey,” he said, sticking his hands in his front pockets. “I wanted to talk about why I got so…weird about Mickey’s ring—“
“Oh no, are you actually in love with her?” you joked.
“What? God, no. No, I just…” He sighed, shaking his head with an embarrassed smile on his face. “I went ring shopping.”
“Oh?” you tried to veil your inner glee at the news.
“And I landed on one. Then, like an idiot, I showed Steve and Mann a picture of it, and—“
“Oh,” you said, meeting his eyes. “Javi, was that—“
“He stole my fucking ring,” he sighed and then chuckled. “I know it’s stupid, but I put a lot of thought and research into the perfect fucking ring for you, only to see it on Mickey’s finger at the door, and I just—“
“Oh, baby,” you cooed, walking over to him to slide your arms around his waist, your head resting on his chest.
“I had to smoke a cigarette to chill the fuck out about it,” he admitted, wrapping his arms around you.
“Jav, you could give me a ring-pop and I’d think it’s the most beautiful thing in the entire fucking world,” you said, lifting your head to look up at him. “Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.”
“I know, I just want it to be perfect,” he mumbled shyly, bringing an adoring smile to your face. You lifted your hand up to rest on his cheek, your thumb swiping over the coarse hair at the corner of his lips.
“Javi, I already have the most perfect thing in the world right here.” Javi leaned in for a slow kiss, each swipe of his lips and tongue against yours lighting sparks of arousal deep in your stomach, forcing you to pull away from him with a chuckle. “You’re going to distract me.”
“You’re always distracting me,” he said, brushing his thumbs over your hips. “Meet me in the bathroom for a quickie?”
“Can’t,” you smirked. “Dinner’s done.”
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With everyone's stomachs stuffed full of turkey and stuffing and everything deliciously bad for the human heart, you sent them all off with a plate of leftovers aside from Chucho who was staying the night.
Your feet were sore from standing on them all day, and since Javi had already put away all the leftovers and stuffed the dishwasher full of every dirty dish in the house, you found yourself laying across the sectional with your feet in Javi’s lap, his hands working away every ache while he and Chucho poked fun at the fact that you were already forcing them into watching Elf.
“The holiday isn’t over yet, mija,” Chucho said, tipping his beer back for a sip.
“Shh, just pretend it’s midnight,” you replied, your voice thick with exhaustion.
“Yeah, pops. Best if we just go along with it, otherwise it’ll just get worse,” he teased, shooting you a playful look.
You were too busy admiring him to come up with any sort of clever response, his tousled hair, unbuttoned jeans, navy blue sweater and strong hands making it hard to pay attention to anything but him.
“You sleepy?” he asked, running his hand along your shin soothingly, as if he had no clue of the dirty thoughts starting to whirl around in your mind.
“Yeah, I should probably go to bed,” you said, hoping that he could pick up on things without you needed to tell him.
“Well, if she’s going to bed, you and I can watch that Western I was telling you about,” Chucho said. Javi’s eyes softly closed shut, as if he was gathering his patience.
“How about we watch it tomorrow, pops? I’m exhausted—“
“Yeah right,” Chucho chuckled, looking at the two of you suspiciously before standing up. “Thank god the guest room’s on the other side of the house.”
“Good night, Chucho!” you called, wincing in embarrassment at the way he saw right through you and Javi.
“Good night, mija. Good night, Javi.”
“Night,” Javi called back before turning to you with a chuckle. “I didn’t even realize you were trying to fool around. I really thought we were gonna go to bed.”
“Your dad picked up on it easily enough.” Javi laughed again and nodded before shifting on the couch to crawl on top of you, your thighs parting to welcome him. You admired him for a minute as he hovered above you, your fingers carding through his hair. “I love you like this.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “You just look very cozy and at home.”
“I am cozy and at home,” he said. “And stuffed full of your sweet potato casserole.”
“Was it good?”
“Not nearly as good as what I’m craving right now,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to your jaw. You giggled, pushing him away so that you could speak.
“Maybe we should take this into the bedroom seeing as we have a guest,” you said, trailing your hands up underneath his sweater to feel the smooth, warm expanse of his stomach. Javi rested his forehead against yours and sighed contently at your touch, his hips pressing into yours.
“Yeah, let’s go while I can still think straight,” Javi rasped, lifting himself off of you and tugging you onto your feet, walking you around the corner and down the hallway to the bedroom with his hand clasped with yours. The minute he opened the door, he had you pressed against it, his mouth on yours while one hand pinned both of yours to the cool wood. “I wanna try something tonight.”
“W-what?” you managed, still breathless from his kiss.
“Nothing too crazy,” he smiled. “Go lay down, I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” you replied with a hesitant chuckle, watching him from over your shoulder as he walked out of the room and down the hall towards the kitchen. Stripping out of your clothes, you rested yourself in the middle of the bed on your side, playfully replicating Burt Reynold’s iconic centerfold.
When Javi returned, he carried a can of the whipped cream you used for the pumpkin pie earlier, a grin on his face as he took you in.
“Waiting for your cover shot?” he asked, setting the whipped cream on the nightstand so that he could strip out of his own clothes. “Actually—“
“What?” you giggled, watching his bare ass as he walked over to his closet to grab his polaroid camera. “No, I’m bloated and—“
“Shut your pretty mouth,” he ordered with a smile, holding the camera up to his eye. “Smile, baby.”
You begrudgingly obliged, resting your hand over your stomach to try and hide the swell of it, but Javi sucked his teeth in response.
“Move that out of the way,” he commanded, waving his hand at you. “It’s ruining the shot.”
“Javi,” you laughed. “My stomach is ruining the shot.”
“Do I have to put something in your mouth to stop ridiculous shit like that from coming out?” he asked. “You’re beautiful. I love you like this.”
Suddenly, it all clicked for you. You loved Javi the most when he was undone and comfortable and satisfied, why wouldn’t he feel the same towards you?
“I love you,” you said, moving your arm to give him the shot he wanted now that your insecurities seemed to vanish. Clicking the camera, he lowered it from his eye and set it down on the nightstand to let the polaroid develop while he climbed onto the bed and rolled you over onto your back.
“I love you,” he replied, sitting back on his ankles between your open thighs, his hands smoothing over the inside of them. “And I can’t wait to fucking suffocate between your thighs. That’s my ideal way to go, I think.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you chuckled, reaching to grab his neck to tug him down to your lips, his hands holding him up as his tongue swiped across yours, his cock slowly sliding over your folds pulling a moan from his chest.
“Fuck,” he hissed as the head of it caught your entrance. “You’re distracting me from my plans.”
“Then hurry up and get on with them,” you purred, lightly scratching the baby hairs at the nape of his neck.
Javi let out a puff of amusement and kissed your lips one more time before making his way down your jaw and neck, giving ample attention to that sensitive spot you love for him to nip at. You felt him reaching over for the whipped cream before he pulled away completely, popping the lid off the can and shaking it in his hand.
“You’re already sweet, but I figure since it’s a holiday and you made me wait so long for dessert, I should treat myself,” he said, smirking as he pressed the nozzle over the stiffened peaks of your nipples, creating two messy dollops of whipped cream over them. “Look at you…”
You batted your eyes at him as you used a finger to scoop up some of the cream, wrapping your lips around it and sucking it clean with an exaggerated pop just to feel his cock twitch between your thighs.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he groaned, lowering his tongue to the half-cleaned mountain of whipped cream to get a taste for himself. Your breath hitched as you watched him greedily clean up the mess he created, sucking your peak into his mouth while his eyes locked with yours.
“Fuck, Jav,” you moaned, the softness of his tongue against your sensitive skin giving your brain a rush of dopamine.
Javier’s hand spread wide over your stomach and ribs, warming your skin up as he licked a trail over to your other breast to give it the same slow, teasing treatment. Bringing the can back, he drew a straight line from your sternum down to your belly button and used wet, messy kisses to clean off the cream before licking a broad stripe back up to your neck. You caught him while he was still close enough to kiss and pulled him in, licking over the excess sweetness on his lips and tongue before using all your strength to roll him over onto his back so that you could have your turn at worshiping him.
“What are you doing?” Javi laughed, resting his hands on the top of your thighs as you drew a heart with the whipped cream over his broad chest.
“You got to have dessert, why can’t I?” you purred, lowering your tongue slowly to the cream while he watched you with a slack jaw. You traced the heart with your tongue and kissed away any remainders before scooting lower on the mattress until your lips were pressing teasingly chaste kiss to the underside of his cock that rested against his stomach.
“Baby, fuck,” Javi moaned, using one hand to cradle your face. Drawing a line of whipped cream from the head to his balls, Javi waited with bated breath for you to clean it all up, your lust-drunk eyes locked on his as you started at his balls. He hissed in pleasure as you sucked each of them into your mouth at a time before letting them go with a pop to focus on his shaft. Spreading your tongue flat and wide, you slowly licked his shaft clean of any of the sweet, airy cream before gripping him at his base and taking the head into your mouth. “Oh, fuck.”
“You taste so good,” you purred as you let him go to stroke him in your palm.
“Baby, I want to taste you,” he begged, giving you those round eyes of his that always got him his way.
“Then come get it,” you taunted, prompting him to practically throw you onto your back, the mattress bouncing from the force as you giggled at his display of strength until you felt his tongue flatten over your folds. “Oh, shit, Javi.”
“Not laughing now, are you?” he smirked, pressing a soft kiss to your inner thigh before going back to your cunt, his tongue working you up slowly and gently until he decided your clit was ready for some attention. Your fingers gripped his cropped hair to hold him against you, giving him little room to breathe, not that he minded in the slightest.
“Right fucking there, baby,” you purred, locking eyes with him from across the expanse of your body. “Don’t stop.”
“Sweeter than the whipped cream,” he mumbled, kissing your clit before sucking it into his mouth until your thighs were shaking.
“Fuck, Javi…you’re perfect,” you moaned, letting your head fall back against the mattress. “Want your fingers.”
“Yeah?” he rasped, his tone teasing. “How many, baby? One?” Your breath hitched as he slipped his pointer finger inside of you, slowly working you open until he was hooking it up towards your favorite spot. “Two?” He added another and earned a wanton mewl that you quickly silenced with your hand over your mouth, your brows scrunched in pleasure at the thick width of his skillful fingers. “Can you take three?”
“Yes, fuck, please,” you managed, spreading your legs even wider out of sheer need to let him take all of you, whatever he wanted.
Javier’s thick fingers curved into you, the room filling with vulgar wet sounds as he targeted that spot inside while swirling his tongue over you until your entire body was shaking with your impending release. He wore a grin the entire time as you whispered chants of praise and used his name like he was your lord and savior.
“Come on, baby,” he purred, sucking your clit into his mouth just right. Your hands clawed at the comforter for purchase as your brain went fuzzy with euphoria, every nerve in your body singing his name. “There you go. Such a good fucking girl—“
“Javi, fuck me,” you begged, still lost in your climax. Your hands reached for his strong arms to pull him on top of you, not that he needed any persuading. Javi was quick to mold his lips to yours as he gripped his weeping length at the base, lining it up with your still pulsing heat before sinking in all the way in one slick thrust.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he hissed, his face falling into the crook of your neck as his hips worked on their own accord, snapping into yours like he needed to in order to survive. “Baby, shit,” he whispered into your ear before nipping at your earlobe. “You’re so fucking wet. Do you hear that?”
Both of you silenced your moans and pants for a moment to hear the sinful squelch of his cock moving in and out of you, the sound alone making you whine and rest your hands on his ass to pull him impossibly closer. Javier managed to compose himself enough to sit up on his knees, rolling you onto your side while he was still inside of you. You gasped at the new position, the way he hugged your leg to his chest as he straddled the other, his cock pressing in so deep you swore you could feel him in your stomach.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he grunted, bringing one hand down to slap your ass just hard enough for it to sting pleasurably. “Look at you. All fucking mine, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Javi, fuck,” you cried, your face ruined with pleasure as he inched you closer and closer to your second release with his voice.
“You like the way I fit inside you? The way I make you cum, baby?” he asked, a proud smile on his face as he watched your face scrunch even more.
“Javi, I’m so close,” you whined, reaching to grip his forearm. “Please don’t stop.”
“Not gonna stop, baby,” he assured, kissing your ankle as it rested on his shoulder. “Not gonna stop until we cum together, alright? You feel so fucking good. Always feel so fucking good.”
“Javi!” you cried, unable to control your volume even with the looming knowledge that Javi’s father was just on the other side of the quiet home.
“That’s it,” he purred, slowing his thrusts as your cunt squeezed him so tight that he had no choice but to join you in your ecstasy. “Fuck.”
You hardly had a minute to catch your breath before McCartney’s paw began scratching at your door, a chuckle slipping from Javi’s lips as he let your leg drop from his hold, his chest heaving from exertion.
“Forgot about our son,” he panted, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as you remained spent and curled up on your side. “Gotta pull out,” he warned, a hiss slipping from both of your lips as he carefully slid out of you, Javi’s eyes glued to the spend that dripped out of you in turn. “Fuck. I’m glad we took the week off.”
You laughed, rolling over onto your back with a satisfied smile, your head turning to follow him as he slipped on a pair of briefs and flannel pajama pants before opening the bedroom door up for McCartney.
“Hi, Macca,” you rasped, welcoming the dog onto the bed with a scratch behind his ears.
“Sorry kid, Mommy and daddy were wrestling,” Javi said, slipping under the covers on his side of the bed. Willing yourself up, you winced at the feeling of Javi’s spend leaking down your thighs as you walked to the bathroom to relieve yourself and clean up a bit before putting on your usual sleep clothes and tucking in beside your two favorite boys.
“That new position,” you started, rolling onto your side to watch as Javi pet McCartney as he laid in between the two of you.
“Good?”
“Really good,” you said, smiling at the way your cunt still pulsed with aftershocks. “And your dirty talk.”
“Yeah? You like my voice, bebita? Like it when I’m cocky?” he teased, shooing McCartney down to the foot of the bed so that he could fill the gap between your bodies, his lips pressing against yours in something slow and sensual.
“I like when you’re cocky in the bedroom,” you corrected with a smirk, tracing the line of his jaw with your fingertip. “Did you have a good Thanksgiving?”
“I had the best Thanksgiving,” he said, pecking your forehead. “How about you?”
“I had a really, really good day,” you smiled. “And I’m glad you didn’t propose to me in front of everyone on a holiday.”
“Was that really on the table?” he chuckled.
“Mickey thought that’s why you were so sour about her engagement,” you replied.
“No, I know you too well by now to think that you’d be into something like that,” he said. “I’m not into a huge public proposal either. Too many people watching me be happy, doesn’t sit right.”
You laughed and nodded, understanding him completely.
“I don’t really even want a huge wedding,” he continued. “Just the people who really matter.”
“That’s exactly what I want. Something tiny, here in our backyard or at your dad’s ranch,” you said. “Just me and you and like ten other people.”
“I love you,” he said, leaning in to kiss you again. “And I’m gonna get the ring right, and then I’m going to propose right, and then I’m going to marry you right. If that’s the only thing I do right in this lifetime, that’s fucking plenty.”
“Dr. Peña, I am so glad I fucked you in that on call room half a year ago,” you beamed, curling into his warmth and resting your head on his chest. “That’ll forever be the best irresponsible decision I’ve ever made.”
“We were just kids back then,” he chuckled. “Or at least I was.”
“I think if we were to go back and time and tell them everything that we’ve been through, they’d call us fucking idiots.”
“Younger Javi wouldn’t buy it solely because I still don’t know how I ended up with you,” he said, his voice raspy as he dozed off. “But I’m fucking glad I did.”
“That makes two of us,” you said, kissing his chest where his heart beat. “Love you.”
“Love you, bebita.”
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serikatz · 26 days ago
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does anyone else have autism where you just repeat words and phrases on loop do you know how many times I’ve had to refrain from saying “riley it okay im joy” and “were going back in time to the first thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu” to my friends like���like it’s so fun and fills me with delight
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lookforthefuture49 · 2 years ago
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We're going back in time to the first Thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu
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that's right.
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foreman · 1 month ago
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were going back in time to the first thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu
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cheezitthefuzz · 29 days ago
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I'm really mad at a uquiz now.
It's based around the article on frogs from middle english wikipedia (which sadly no longer exists).
"A frogge biþ a smal beaste wiþ foure leggys, whyche liueþ booþ in watyre and on londe. It is broune or grene or yelowe, or be it tropyckal, he may haue dyuers coloures. It haþ longys and guilles booþe. It haccheþ from an ey and it þan ys a tadpolle. It groweþ to ben a frogge, if it þan ne be noght eten."
adjusted to more modern spellings:
A frog be-eth a small beast with four legs, which liveth both in water and on land. It is brown or green or yellow, or be it tropical, he may have diverse colours. It hath lungs and gills both. It hatcheth from an egg and it then is a tadpole. It groweth up to be a frog, if it then be not eaten.
pretty normal stuff, right? hard to misinterpret?
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Then be not eaten?
thenhaps
no
then
not then
ohohohoho we're off to a STRONG start aren't we? they seem to have interpreted "þan" as a question particle for reasons I truly cannot decipher. the sentence that has it also includes "if" ffs
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Be-eth have diverse colours?
ha be-eth an eggs not colours
yes, one
verily diverse
be-eth yet ony(??)
These answers would sound AI-generated in modern english. Not like the modern smooth, corporate AI, more like the stuff that would be on AIWeirdness. "Ha, be eggs not colours?"
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It liveth both in water or on land?
water
land
"both" "or" hurts my brain so immediately moving along.
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Be-eth you small beast with lungs? (good question for once, missing an article and "ye" is plural but on a logical level it makes some sense)
then is a tadpole, no
if it then be not eaten
yith (?????)
meyhauths (they mean mayhaps but don't fucking REALIZE that THORN is a LETTER)
I kind of thought it was getting better when the question made sense... kill me
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Be-eth you small beast with gills both?
ethsollut (absolute? but they're being dumb about thorn again)
no
yith (again bullshit)
then is a tadpole, again (age-reversing frogs???)
more misunderstanding of "booþe"/both
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Be-eth you not poiysenth? (i looked up that word and not a single result. it's not in the original article. Best guess is they meant "poisonous" or "poisoned" but what the fuck)
mighth (mighteth? not how you use eth but at least makes some sense)
if it be in the water, it not
egg am cleaneth
verily
so... they think "ey" is "I" for some reason. It's pretty clear even just from context in the original article that it's egg.
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Which bugs he be-eth eat? and then I'm not going to even bother respelling the FUCKING answers because OH MY GOD
THOSE ARE JUST. SHITTY ATTEMPTS AT "OLD-FASHIONED" SPELLING OF MODERN BUGS I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN TIME TO THE FIRST THANKSGIVING TO GET TURKEYS OFF THE MENU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
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Be-eth a prytte (pretty?) frog?
no time [i'll rant about this later] to be-eth prytte, must hop ek (??)
meme spelling of disgusting that doesn't even TRY to IMITATE ANY ARCHAIC FORM OF ENGLISH GGAAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAAHHA
verily mighth prytte (what)
be it ok (i'm crying)
so about that "taem" thing the middle english word for time is just time. not even spelled differently well sometimes teime or timæ not taem what the genuine fuck taem???? that would be pronounced like "Tan" with an M (I think. I'm not an expert on Middle English THAT'S JUST HOW BAD THIS SHIT IS, SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT COULD FIND TEN MILLION MORE THINGS WRONG WITH IT)
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cen (can, but can in middle english is just can or canne) you be domestic [actually acceptable use of long s!]?
no, it be dangerous [horrid spelling] to mankind
yes, be it kind, well-spirited beast
this one is surprisingly decent, i can actually tell what they were going for. They still seem to forget that this is actual language and just use the "quirky" spellings for meme value.
conclusion. this uquiz needs to be plunged into the blazing abyss of the sun middle english is so cool and it actually sounds and looks nice when you do it right but this person fucked it. so much…
EPILOGUE THE RESULT
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egg be-eth the yellow frog. the yellow frog is bright [horrid spelling] and hath much both. be it rare [horrid spelling], lieuths (???) in the forets (forest?), in rain [horrid spelling] and wynth (wind?). It is lungs large, for it hothth (FUCK YOU THAT'S NOT A FUCKING P) from try to try.
this is the kind of cartoonishly exaggerated mistranslation you'd see in a movie and think was unrealistic but this person can't fucking translate between ENGLISH and ENGLISH
ah yes i love when i have much both.
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humorisstoredinthetits · 1 hour ago
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The Heathers + Veronica and Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is just a 'meh' holiday for the four of them
Its smack dab in the middle of Halloween and Christmas, and when it comes around they're ready for it to be Christmastime already, especially Mac
Chandler never celebrated it with her family growing up, her mother would usually get drunk or try and get some early Black Friday deals, so she ended up celebrating it with Mac and her Dad
With Mac, Thanksgiving was just another obstacle until her favorite holiday, Christmas, and she was desperate to get done with it so they could put up the tree
Duke's family never celebrated it either, despite her family living in America for years they never adopted that particular custom
Veronica did celebrate it, but it was never one of her favorite holidays
All this to say the four of them don't have a big celebration for the holiday
They invite over Veronica's friends, her parents, and Mac's dad for lunch, each of them bringing a side while Chandler is in charge of the turkey
Her first few attempts did not go very well, apparently its harder to cook a turkey then one would imagine, so they ended up having frozen pizza for their main dish
While Chandler is cooking the turkey Veronica will go up and act surprised to see it before turning to Duke and exclaiming about how horrible it is and that "they needed to go back in time to get turkey OFF THE MENU"
Chandler, sick to death of Veronica's terrible memes, then proceeds to grab a spatula and chase the both of them around the house, swatting at them while they attempt to flee, laughing their asses off the whole time
Come to think of it that might have something to do with why the turkey didn't end up right for the first few years
Their guests come around midday and they get the food ready, before they all go to sit
In spirit of the holiday they go around and say what they are thankful for
But like with most things, this cannot be simple
Being that there are so many of them, they tend to keep their statements short, well, almost all of them
Chandler noticed that Duke's were always ever so slightly longer than hers and so next year she went on a small tangent
In response Duke took even longer
This continued for a few years until Chandler spent a good 15 minutes ranting about how much she loves Mac and is thankful for her
Said girl was blushing so hard while the rest of them groaned bc she just wouldn't shut up and the food was getting gold
JD was trying to sneak some ham without anyone noticing while this was going on
After that fiasco they made a rule; your thanks could be no longer than 30 seconds long
Once they've finished eating they head to the living room and watch some TV while Chandler breaks out the wine
They watch the usual stuff like A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade while just spending time with the people they love
After a while they go get the tree
The tree is easily a story tall and takes the combined efforts of everyone there to get it set up
Once that's done Mac is basically pushing everyone out the house so they can start decorating for Christmas
If it were up to her they would've started as soon as Halloween was over but Chandler insisted on waiting until Thanksgiving
She rushes up to the attic to grab all of their Christmas decorations and will not let the others rest until everything is up, a process which takes a ridiculous amount of time with how big their house is
But since it makes Mac so happy the others are willing to put up with it
Sorry this wasn't that long, Thanksgiving is such a boring holiday that I couldn't think of all that much to add. And just like Mac, I'm ready for it to be over so it can be Christmastime.
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