#were finally at the outright romantic part so im really happy

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 8)

This will be the final part of the three-part culture fest! Mikan has had a lot of fun with her friends so far. In particular, she's learned a lot about Natsume in theory but he's not really interested in painting himself in a better light. Today we will discuss how the culture fest wraps up, and especially how the very end shakes things up for Mikan when it comes to her feelings for Natsume.

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Chapter Twenty-Three

It’s the performance day of the festival, and it’s the somatic class’ time to shine. Class B comes by despite Ruka’s insistence that they don’t, and they find out he’s opposed to their presence because he’s playing Snow White. Ruka is not happy to be under this kind of attention, likened to a “real girl,” when he never wanted the role in the first place. (And I can’t help but feel like Ruka must have ditched his culture fest duties so often to hang out with Natsume instead, not just because he wanted to make his friend feel better, but because he also hated working with Narumi on this musical.)

Mikan asks Koko about the sticky balls he bought at central town and when he offers one, she makes a comment about how she’d have nobody to throw one at, even if she took it, but she’s looking at Natsume the whole time and she does end up taking it (presumably to chuck at Natsume the next time he annoys her). 

I'm so messed up and insane about this stupid, pointless exchange. There's not anything to analyze. Why am I even writing this essay?

And then disaster strikes: the musical equipment ends up crashing and falling, the sticky balls fly everywhere, and a child only narrowly misses being crushed by a spotlight. Narumi quickly adapts and utilizes what he can of the performance, enlisting “understudies” to replace the vital actors who have been slimed by the sticky balls. 

Somehow when Mikan sees Natsume again after being pressured into playing a role for the sake of the child he’s now attached to, he’s dressed up as a wild cat!

Natsume is not Ruka. Ruka gets moody when people call him cute and girly, but all that does is encourage the attention. Natsume is scary. It doesn’t matter that he’s dressed as a cat, most people wouldn’t dare to say anything out loud because they’re afraid of how he’ll respond. Though Sumire is also unafraid, squealing over how cute he is, Mikan is boldly laughing at him. 

Nobody has been antagonized by Natsume more, but she’s still the person least afraid of him. She finally has something to tease him for, after all, and she’s not gonna miss out on the opportunity when he never misses the chance to tease her. That’s what their relationship is based on, it seems: making fun of each other. It’s interesting that Misaki’s warning to keep clear of black cats seems like it was ages ago. Mikan is long past viewing Natsume as nothing more than a terrifying menace; he’s just a rude guy she knows now. With a little time and effort, they could even be friends. She made fun of her friend Ruka, so why not tease Natsume too?

She starts petting his little cat ears, making fun of him, calling him cute, until he snaps, flicking her forehead. They end up bickering and fighting a little until he totally sells her out and volunteers her to play the role of the prince. 

I love their silly little dynamic during the culture fest. She is supposed to be ever at his mercy because of the genie thing but that doesn't stop her from annoying him anyway.

He is apparently so angry about wearing this costume that he will punish anyone for teasing him a little, even if it means using up one of his wishes. So Mikan is forced into playing the prince (a huge role) with very little prep time, and she seems to be the only one backstage opposed. She eventually gives in and dresses up in costume. 

Poor Mikan, who wasn’t really at fault for any of the chaos that took place backstage, is now in an uncomfortable position, where the success of the musical rests partially on her. But, trooper that she is, she refuses to complain about it and instead sucks it up. It’s nice that Ruka comes over, because he was also forced into his role. He promises to help her out and they agree to do their best together. This is the first example of something that will be recurring throughout the manga: Ruka being a pillar of support for Mikan. He is always willing to help her out and be there for her, even if it’s something that neither of them wants to do. 

He's so much more helpful than Narumi. At least Mikan has an ally in the somatic class or this would have been a lot worse.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Mikan has her hair down for her role, something that makes her insecure. She feels weird having her hair down and worries that it looks strange since she’s usually wearing pigtails. She asks Ruka if it looks okay, and he evades the question, pointing out the obvious--that he’s never seen her like that before. Very unhelpful. 

Self-conscious, she says she wants to put her hair up but Natsume yells at her for no reason. Luckily for her, her friend Hotaru is there, who will be blunt and tell her how it looks. When Hotaru tells her that it looks good and that she should be more confident, she finally feels better about it. What she’d wanted all along was some sort of reassurance and for some reason, boys are incapable of giving it.

Poor Mikan... This is so scary.

We can see another example here of Hotaru showing those little glimpses of kindness when it really matters. Though she begins the exchange with teasing, she becomes earnest when she realizes how much it matters to Mikan in the moment. Mikan is usually self-assured, but even a girl like her has lapses in self-confidence. Every part of this role is uncomfortable, being forced onstage with no real preparation, not being Yuri, having her hair down--it’s all far outside her comfort zone. Mikan likes being validated and reassured, especially in moments like these, so Hotaru’s compliment means a lot.

The play commences and when Mikan’s part is finally up, the audience is upset that beloved Yuri has been replaced. Mikan is insecure again. She wants to help the somatic class, but the murmuring from the audience is enough to make anybody uncomfortable. She’s lucky that the prince’s role has been narrowed for her sake, so most of the time she’s backstage, watching others perform and reacting to the inevitable chaos of Narumi being in charge of a musical. When it’s her turn again, it’s the final scene. She’s determined and doing a good job of reading the cue cards set up for her. She prepares to give Ruka a fake kiss on the forehead, but apparently Narumi wants her to smooch him on the lips for real.

That’s not anything Mikan has prepared for! It’s unfair too, because she’s doing the class a favor, and this is asking too much. Mikan is innocent, just a child. She’s never had a crush, let alone kissed somebody, and now she’s being put on the spot for something she didn’t want to do in the first place. Ruka sees the cue card and assures her that she doesn’t have to do it (and he’s able to look out for her and put her needs first because Narumi’s demands are unreasonable but also because he never cared much about the success of the play to begin with; it’s not worth it for Mikan to be forced into this), but Mikan doesn’t want to be the reason the play is ruined. She already feels guilty for not being Yuri, for not being the prince the audience wanted. She’s no actress, either, and all she wants is to make up for the sticky ball incident. So if Narumi says that’s what she’s meant to do, then even if she doesn’t want to, it would be unfair of her not to. 

Screw you, Narumi.

So she decides to do it. She won’t do it the way Narumi wants. Even if she’s complying, she’s aiming for the side of the mouth and to be quick and abortive about it. But she doesn’t even get that far, because something collides with her head, interrupting her, and the lights go dark. 

The play is over. She didn’t have to kiss Ruka. 

But even though it didn’t end up happening, it almost did, and it’s uncomfortable. 

In the anime, Ruka is a little morose, but he and Mikan make up quickly after the play. The episode ends with them having fun and even including Natsume. The chapter does not end that way. Instead, they can’t even look at each other and it’s awkward, and Natsume isn’t involved. Ruka isn’t too sad, I don’t think, because he seemed to be genuinely against Narumi’s cue card and would have understood that whoever threw the thing that interrupted Mikan did it with her best interest in mind (and Ruka’s too, because it would’ve been his first kiss too, and he also didn’t deserve to experience it in such a way). Instead, I think they’re both just uncomfortable about what almost happened at Narumi’s command. Though, Ruka might have a slightly different discomfort because of his crush on Mikan.

Ruka is so cute in these panels with his little blush.

I do think it was shitty of Narumi to do that to Mikan, bargaining off her first kiss for the sake of “sizzle.” Additionally, Ruka also didn’t want the role of the princess either, and if Ruka hadn’t peeked his eyes open to glance at the cue card and see what was keeping Mikan from continuing, he might’ve ended up ambushed with a kiss, which is also incredibly unfair to him. But I suppose in a school where exploiting kids is the norm, this would be tame compared to some of the other things kids are forced to do. It’s just unfortunate. 

Especially because all Mikan wanted to do was help. She’s not in the somatic class. She didn’t bring the sticky balls. She didn’t cause the accident backstage. But in the end, she ended up carrying a huge burden that the other Class B kids didn’t have to carry, even the ones who did bring the sticky balls. It’s just sad, if we think about that from Mikan’s point of view, how something that should have at least been romantic almost ended up being staged and pressured onto her.

Chapter Twenty-Five

We finally get confirmation on Narumi’s end that Mikan is Yuka’s daughter. He had suspected it before, and the similarities were all too much to be a coincidence, but now he’s sure. And for what. Everything is falling into place. He’s the one who brought Mikan here for his own selfish ends, but now he cares about her. He knew from the beginning that Mikan would be treated differently (and he also treated her differently, giving her a dangerous entrance exam), but now that he cares about her, he is suddenly concerned. 

But Mikan is not present for that conflict. She just watched the festival parade and is now watching the closing ceremonies, where she can finally see the headmasters for the first time, and her attention is naturally drawn to the ESP, who is a kid. Tsubasa explains not to draw their attention, because they’re sketchy, but to especially beware the ESP, the sketchiest of them all. 

Alice Academy is a crazy school. Mikan already knew that. But every new thing she learns just serves to make the school seem crazier. From her perspective, being a newcomer to a fascinating world, principals who don’t age and kids who become headmasters are just more examples of what a wacky place the school is, instead of anything genuinely concerning. 

Mikan watches the prizes get awarded. To nobody’s surprise, the technical class takes home a trophy, and even Hotaru gets awarded for her hard work. Mikan is very proud of her friend, but nobody in the SA class expects it when they too are recognized for their efforts. All of them are shocked.

Mikan and her struggle to fathom that her class's attraction (and by extension her own alice) has been appreciated to this extent.

Mikan wanted to participate in the culture fest from the beginning. She wanted to show off to the school that her class could do something amazing too (and, in doing so, also showcase that her alice wasn’t useless or selfish as she always fears it is). Their goal from the start was to have fun and help their guests have fun too. They certainly weren’t trying to get a trophy and thus never thought they’d get one.

But they did. Their efforts have been noticed and now they’re being given a shout out.

Mikan is naturally overjoyed and proud of herself. Without her, the SA class wouldn’t have put up an event at all, but because she refused to give up, they couldn’t either, and now they had a trophy to show for it.

Narumi comments on how much she’s grown. Mikan is quickly making friends and deep connections. She’s thriving, making the most of her circumstances. Yes, Mikan will be in deep waters in the future. Her life at the academy will certainly not be easy, but Narumi believes that she can make it through.

And I do believe that Mikan is thriving more here at the academy, with these friends, than she would have on her own back home. Though she’s still a newcomer to this place, she’s found ways to fit in, making more friends than she had back at her village. She misses her grandpa, of course, but she’s being allowed to grow and flourish here in a way she never would have if she’d stayed.

When Mikan and Narumi see each other, he congratulates her and gives her a surprise: a letter from Jii-chan.

Natsume told her not to trust any teachers, but Narumi has been doing his best to prove he can be trustworthy.

A long time ago, Narumi told Mikan to trust him, to believe that he will do what he can to fix things. And now he has the letter in his hand. This is his proof, his reward to her for her faith in him. She can trust that after that fateful night, her letters have been delivered. Natsume warned her not to trust any teachers at the school, but so far her trust is paying off. 

Chapter Twenty-Six

Time for one of my favorite chapters in the whole manga. This is the chapter I’ve been waiting for. 

This is the last day of the festival, the day of the after-party. Mikan finds out that there’s a legend surrounding the after-party, specifically that dancing with somebody at the Last Dance means you’ll be together forever. There’s three big romantic hook-up events at the academy (the Last Dance, the Christmas Ball masquerade, and Valentine’s Day, I’m assuming, particularly regarding the alice stone exchange), and all the girls in school are excited about it.

Except for Hotaru and Mikan.

Hotaru is uninterested in romance, more fascinated by some other, creepier school mysteries, and Mikan has never had a crush, so romance isn’t on her radar. 

But the other girls are in a frenzy, and the most popular boys in class are getting harassed about it. Girls want to dance with Ruka and Natsume, and that shocks Mikan. Why would anyone want to be Natsume’s girlfriend? It’s impossible for her to even imagine. 

Exhibit 1000 of Mikan feeling insecure because she's not experiencing what other people are. "Not that I care." Well, obviously you do!

Still, she feels left out. She wants to care about romance and girly stuff, just because other girls care, not out of an actual romantic drive. Mikan is--like I’ve said before--a pretty shallow person, as expected of an immature child. She wants to be liked and she wants to fit in. When her circumstances differ from others, she can’t help but feel like there’s something wrong with her. That’s why she’s always comparing her classes and circumstances to others’. So when she can’t click with all the romance frenzy in the classroom, she feels sad and left out. It’s kind of silly.

Higuchi Tachibana is really good at this kind of story arc. With the Reo Arc, for example, the story began with Mikan voicing the desire to listen to Narumi's advice and befriend the two people she disliked the most. It ended with her bonding with both of them. This chapter is a contained story, but it's similar in its framing. Mikan spends the entire chapter self-conscious about romance, panicking about not having a crush. The story must resolve, so this issue must be addressed somehow.

In any case, she feels weird and uncomfortable, insecure and wondering if there's something she's missing.

Until Mikan is suddenly the subject of rumor.

People posit that she’ll want to dance the Last Dance with Ruka, since they kissed and all during the musical. Mikan tries to defend herself, denying any and all romance allegations, but the attention only grows. Now girls from outside their class are gossiping about her, the girl who kissed Ruka and somehow managed to score the role of Natsume’s partner--a role a thousand times worse than playing a prince in a musical. Ruka and Natsume have shot the other girls down after all. It’s probably because they chose her instead: an ugly little girl who doesn’t deserve to affiliate herself with Ruka and Natsume, school heartthrobs. 

Mikan gets ticked off, and starts screaming that she would never dance with Natsume, let alone go out with him! She doesn’t mention Ruka because that’s awkward, seeing as she did almost kiss him for the play and she doesn’t want to focus on that. But insulting Natsume feels safer. They don’t even really like each other that much and all they ever do is fight, so if she can get gossipers off her back by fighting a little more, then it all works out. 

He literally didn't do anything! She's mostly being accused of being involved with Ruka, but it's Natsume that she singles out. Thrilling!

Mikan doesn’t really consider that she could be hurting his feelings. It’s hard to imagine he has feelings to begin with.

Eventually, the after-party is finally starting, everyone is dressed up, and she’s ready to start having fun. But romance starts seeping in again: Tsubasa and Misaki are practically married according to Megane, Otonashi has a boyfriend, Anna and Nonoko have their own crush, and even Hotaru is surrounded by admirers. (Again! There is so much focus on romance and Mikan being the odd one out regarding it, that the end of the chapter simply must resolve this issue in some way.)

Mikan is alone in her immature world. She starts panicking, because she’s left out again, the one girl in the class who is this immature, it seems. She’s never had a crush--how is she meant to fit in? But at least Hotaru is indifferent to her suitors, so Mikan has somebody to cling to and relate to.

Until Natsume and Ruka show up again--unwelcome sights. 

Natsume literally didn't do anything but she's so angry at him anyway. She's only angry at him because girls wanna date him!

She doesn’t want to be around Ruka because it’s awkward after all that happened--and didn’t happen--at the musical, and all the resulting gossip. But she also doesn’t want to see Natsume because she’s angry at him for other people gossiping about her. How could ANYONE want to date Natsume? Even just the idea of people wanting to date him annoys her (curious!). He hasn't really done anything to personally earn her ire this time. Her mood sours again, very easily.

It's possible she's so mad at Natsume because he's the center of so much romantic intention--with so many girls having crushes on him. She doesn't understand romance at all and is now quite insecure about that fact. Additionally, it could simply be unwitting jealousy, that the constant reminder that he's popular with girls annoys her for a reason she doesn't even understand quite yet. I'm not sure!

She walks away, eager to avoid them, so that she can begin dancing. Mikan isn’t good with negative feelings. Higuchi Tachibana specifically designed her to forget her problems easily, and this is a long time for Mikan to get all worked up about something, especially since she doesn't fully understand what she's upset about to begin with. She just wants to have fun and get her mind off things. But for some reason, suddenly Ruka is bumping into her. 

It’s uncomfortable, because all that kiss stuff has left things awkward between them, but since they’re on the dance floor anyway…

They smile at each other, and in no time at all, they’re dancing and it’s fun. It might start off a bit tense, but the awkwardness is quickly forgotten. Mikan is suddenly not thinking about romance at all. She’s just having fun with a friend. She thinks to herself that she was silly for worrying about fitting in. She should be prioritizing having fun with her friends, not forcing herself to think of romance, especially when she doesn’t understand it. 

Why can't I like them platonically? You can't make me do anything!!!

She moves on to dance with somebody else, and then her feelings only get more cemented. 

Narumi, Iinchou, classmates from SA, even Yuri--they’re all proof that dancing is fun and that worrying is stupid, especially when it’s about romance.

Until she’s alone on the floor for a moment and making eye contact with Natsume, who’s also alone for once. Her mood sours and she notices that his does too. He turns his head away in a huff and Mikan is momentarily offended that she’s the one person he refuses to dance with. But the thing is, she’s the one who said that first. She had singled him out and blamed him for people gossiping about her, but she’s still hurt that he’s giving her the cold shoulder. They stand there for a moment until somebody comes along that he could stomach dancing with. 

Why is Natsume different, huh? Why does he stand out? Why is he the one she refused to dance with, the one she singled out? Natsume is different because of who he is, and because she chooses to make him different. Blah blah blah!

In the anime, Natsume doesn’t dance at all. He avoids the whole party for the most part so Mikan can’t take it personally when he doesn’t dance with her. But he has been dancing the whole time here, just like her, if we can trust Mikan’s comments about her being the sole exception. So her mood is soured again. Not a surprise, because Natsume always annoys her and ruins her mood. 

She goes to the bathroom to calm down during a break and when she comes back, through a secluded path, she happens upon Natsume again, who’s feeding some animals. This time they’re all alone, with no question of dancing. She immediately reacts with anger and dismay, but Natsume doesn’t say anything for a while, and it dawns on Mikan that she took her anger out on him. He may be a jerk most of the time, but that doesn’t mean he’s always the bad guy. He hadn’t actually done anything wrong this time.

I don't have anything to say here, but how cute. She stands here. She could just keep walking but she stands still for a moment, almost like she's willing to wait until he says something or until she has the courage to say something.

In the anime, Mikan is bright and eager to dance with him. She doesn’t care about the issues from before. But Manga!Mikan is not just more stubborn, she’s more self-conscious. Now, even though she’s not really mad at him anymore, she’s still uncomfortable, unsure of how to talk to him. She’d be too embarrassed to ask him to dance right then because she’d be too embarrassed to say anything to him.

Mikan gets this way with Natsume sometimes, and I'll talk more about it during the Z Arc, but her insecurity around him manifests in withholding her feelings. She doesn't usually act this verbally evasive around anybody else. When she's genuinely indignant, she can confront anybody, including Natsume. But her feelings for him feel so particularly vulnerable that she consistently struggles with saying them out loud. Like apologizing, for instance. Even just saying, "Sorry I took my anger out on you," is hard for her.

This moment directly parallels the moment when the culture fest was announced. She had run into her worst enemy when he was playing with some animals, reacted with knee-jerk hostility, only for him to confide in her in his roundabout way.

This goes a similar way.

He’s first to break the silence, ignoring the tension and instead complaining about how stupid the culture fest is again. But Mikan knows better. She knows he’s just hurt about being left out. So she asks him if he had fun. For him, that’s irrelevant. For her, that’s the only thing that matters. He confesses that this stuff never had anything to do with him. She had been right that day in the haunted mansion: Natsume is indeed locked away mentally in a place where he can’t have fun no matter how much people around him are smiling. His life is different from the rest of theirs. Mikan has been given hints about this for all the time that she’s known him, but the extent is still lost on her. How could somebody be so far removed from the rest of them that he can’t even have fun once in a while? 

We know already from Natsume's POV (and we all know even without the essay to be honest) that this warning is very well-intentioned, even kind. I think Mikan can tell too, that he's being serious in an odd way, that he's telling her something important. She wants to understand because she always wants to understand him and always will.

Then he tells her cryptically that she should stay in the light and away from the dark. He’s talking in riddles and it makes no sense to her at all. What on earth does that mean? Mikan notices that he’s not acting the way he usually does. He seems serious, and he isn’t even insulting her like he usually does. He’s not usually so evasive and strange. He’d usually just annoy her or do something rude. He’s not acting normally, so she’s concerned. He doesn’t want to clarify and in no time he dismisses her and insults her, right back to normal. 

Mikan loses her patience. Every single time she gives him a chance, he ruins it! Every time she looks for something deeper, something Ruka swears is there, she ends up disappointed! There is nothing deeper. He’s not different at all! He’s just a jerk like he’s always been, probably going out of his way to torment her for his own amusement. Relationships don’t work if there’s no effort; she’s the only one trying here, so why even bother? So she scolds him for calling her mean names all the time when she has a perfectly good name that he seems not to know even though everyone else does!

It’s ramping up to be another fight. She’s sure he’ll just pull out another insult and then they’ll go back and forth forever, with him just proving for the ten thousandth time that there is very little to like about him--

But then he does say her name. Softly and seriously and gently. “Mikan.”

Twice.

Sparkles don't always have to mean something. But they mean something here.

Then he tells her to leave and that his last wish is for her to quit complaining about what he calls her. And that’s it.

Mikan leaves without another word.

This scene directly parallels the scene from chapter eleven. During that moment, Mikan was finally able to see a different side to Natsume. He was more than she’d initially assumed. He could get his feelings hurt. He could feel left out too. That scene helped soften her feelings towards him a bit. From then on, she hated him less and less until she felt like they could even be friends if he put in some effort.

This scene does a similar thing. It also helps turn Mikan’s feelings around. But instead of turning her feelings from hate, this time, her feelings start solidifying in a particular direction. 

Natsume has never called her by her name before. But he said it now, in a weird way too. He was serious and the whole mood of that moment had been strange and tense. For that moment, she saw a glimpse of something, maybe something like what Ruka was talking about, something deeper and better than just a jerk with a sharp tongue. He seemed sad and cryptic for a moment, like he wanted to tell her something important, only to give up. And then to say her name like that…

When Mikan rejoins her friends, her face is red and her heart is thumping. 

Jeez!

When Mikan danced with Ruka, she was able to forget all the awkwardness between them and just have fun. She realized, by dancing with him, that stressing about romance was stupid, that she should just have fun instead. 

Now, after seeing Natsume, there’s the opposite reaction. 

For most of their relationship, the only part of Natsume that was at all appealing was his air of mystery, the promise of a puzzle with no promise of being solved--a tired metaphor by now, I’m sure. But this moment is different. She saw a little glimpse of something she really liked. 

This chapter is important because it’s the chapter where Mikan’s feelings become solidly romantic. He said two syllables and it turned her whole head around. It changed everything. 

Exactly ten chapters ago, his feelings did a full 180. Now it’s her turn.

I'm not saying her feelings did a 180 like Natsume's. He went from hating her to loving her in a matter of seconds or minutes, depending on your own personal interpretation. But Mikan has been giving him the benefit of the doubt for a while. She's been looking closer at him. She's the slow burn one, and I think it's here that her feelings turn from fascination and intrigue to a bona fide crush.

Of course, Mikan’s feelings develop much slower than Natsume’s. She’s also not as closed off and secretive and she doesn’t have his same martyr complex or circumstances. But she is oblivious, naive, and immature. She’s not used to crushes, so it takes her a while to figure out her own feelings. Not to mention, Natsume is extremely confusing, going from hot to cold to hot again endlessly and without reason. It’s hard not to be confused by feelings in normal circumstances, let alone with somebody who’s so incomprehensible he drives you crazy. But from now on, that’s what she has: feelings for Natsume. Very embarrassing.

But the chapter ends with Mikan dancing the last dance with Hotaru, and dancing makes her forget her worries again, once more forgetting about romantic drama. The festival can end safely, with something sweet and carefree, instead of all the stress that Natsume brings.

Conclusion

The culture fest has finally come to an end! The musical somehow ended safely with 0 kisses and the afterparty was a blast!

We did it, boys! We finally made it to crush territory. Mikan is so hard to analyze because she doesn't understand her feelings so it's really hard to plot the actual timeline of them. But I'm doing my darnedest.

Tomorrow we will talk about the aftermath of the afterparty. Mikan isn't aware yet but she has a crush on Natsume now and he will not make those feelings easy for her at all.

Weekends are so nice! There's a storm here where I live and my mom hates it because she doesn't like the cold but I like the excuse to drink hot chocolate. I hope you are happy with your weekend wherever you are. And if you read this in the future when it's no longer a weekend then I hope your weekday is pleasant. Eat good food. Listen to absolute bangers. Think about NatsuMikan. Do this and your life will be sparkly and great.

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[bonesandthebees]

FINALLY CAUGHT UP ON ROSE AFTER FALLING BEHIND IN THE SUMMER YAY

im really enjoying tnt duo AND NIKI AND PUFFY👀👀 its great

the rainduo fall out was bound to happen, we knew it, but somehow this coldness and quiet and uncertainty between them hurts so much more than any anger could

its the fact that what split them was just slow distancing and loss of trust and the one wilburs lie that they both knew was a lie but didnt acknowledge, like it was never really said out loud, just shown through smaller things like having lessons apart

schlatts assassination in reaction to crimeboys attack and wilburs injury is very based, phil is protective and spiteful af and i love that for him

everything going amazing on the crimeboys front, the bonding definitely got much deeper after that assassination

and the dynamic going on dhdhdhhdhdh like wilbur is attached to tommy, but hes also under phils tutoring and so hes working on securing his place, manipulative even on tommy, you can see he sees the world through a different lense, hes grown a lot in that sense in the three years

theres a thin line between wilbur caring for tommy and manipulating him bc hes kinda doing that to help him secure the throne but also its still manipulation and its just so DELICIOUS to read, im obsessed

also his cane, rhdhhdhdhdjdjdh, just the fact that he has a cane changes the image of him in my mind and i love it sm

the forever reminder of his and tommys fates getting tied together

its really cool that it feels quite balanced, like im kinda inclined to think that tommy will get the throne just bc wilbur is our pov, but its still feels like everyone has a chance (well not quackity rn, but that doesnt mean he still cant win and for it to work)

like i know you, i know its not gonna be that simple

but its also not like im rooting for just one side, they are all kids who have been uprooted for the chance to be a ruler, but there will still be two left with nothing at the end of this (that is assuming no one gets killed which i wouldnt rule out too)

aaaand thats all the thoughts i have now that i didnt put in the comments (wanna bet that im gonna remember three more things as soon as i send this?)

i hope you kick the sicknesses ass soon and are enjoying arcane, happy and calm holidays bones

EILEEN HELLO I'm finally getting to this <33

it's funny I actually wasn't planning on making the puffychu as explicitly romantic until I was writing that scene and then I was like fuck it why not. like it was going to be implied no matter what but I wasn't planning on directly pointing it out that's just kind of how the scene went and I'm very happy with it because I think the tntduo dialogue there is so fun

godddd writing rainduo like that hurt so badly. writing them as being so unfamiliar and cold with each other compared to just a few chapters ago when they were so close- ouch. my heart.

you do not fuck with phil or his kid that's the lesson to be learned here. like there were probably more reasonable options besides outright killing schlatt but. phil was pissed lmao.

i'm sooo glad you're liking the crimeboys dynamic it's such a fun one for me to balance. because they're so brotherly now and wilbur does genuinely care for tommy but he's also so outright manipulative and it's a bit chilling to write sometimes. and while logically wilbur knows this isn't 'right', a part of him is desensitized to treating tommy like this because of how he's been raised. it's what's expected of him and how he was taught to interact with people thanks to phil.

very glad you like the cane addition :D I'm trying hard to balance making sure it's not just disregarded/forgotten about in a scene and using it as a way of showing wilbur's emotions in any given moment. but also wilbur is our main pov, the fact that he's a cane user is only one part of who he is as a character so I don't want it to seem like I'm mentioning it too much. it's just a balance I'm trying my best to strike.

I'm so glad the battle for the throne feels balanced! I really want to emphasize how niki (and quackity as well, to an extent) are both far better suited for the throne, but neither of them have the backing that tommy has being supported by the consil, the keeper of knowledge, and the consil's son. it really evens out the playing field.

but yeah, the tragedy is that none of them should've been put in this position in the first place. sam should've been man enough to choose an heir when they were a child (tbh he should've just chosen niki outright the only reason he didn't was out of obstinance) so now he's got these young people ruining their relationships and struggling to play political games because of it.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter!!!

[arodabi]

okay, i’m finally getting around to writing this, and uhh ill say its for aro week too. this is written as an aro person directed at alloromantic people. when i refer to writing, i’m kind of using it as a general term for creative works. Here’s me throwing my hat in on the question:

Can you ship aromantic characters?

and my answer is,,,,, actually a question. Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? 

I want alloros to realize that for a lot of aros, we do not get to see ourselves represented often. I can actually count on like one hand how many popular canon aro characters there are, and on the whole, none of their identities are respected. people constantly try to weasel their way out of actually writing aro characters, or they just ignore or deny their identity outright. fandom spaces (hell creative spaces in general) are at best not welcoming to aros, and at worst actively hostile towards us. So when the first question brought up when a character gets canonically confirmed as aro is “okay cool but can i ship them???” or “that’s nice but how can i still write about my fave ship that involves them??” i want to fucking scream. its a slap to the face and it shows that people really do not give a shit about aros. you say stuff like that and all i hear is “my fictional ship is so much more important than representing your marginalized minority identity” so instead of me just sitting here and saying “yes you can totally ship aro characters, as long as you’re respectful!!!” i’m saying “can you stop and think why you want to shove an aro character into a romantic relationship at the first chance you get?? maybe you have some arophobia you haven’t worked on?? maybe since we live in an amatonormative world, you’re letting that influence your views??” because that question being the first thing out of your mouth when you see a character you like confirmed as aro? that’s already disrespectful towards aros in my book.

So back to my question, Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? is it because you can’t write characters without them being in romantic relationships? or because you think a character without a romantic relationship is boring? Because if so, that’s a bad reason and it sounds like amatonormativity is rotting your brain. 

Is it because you just really like a ship with the aro character? Because you can write two characters with a strong relationship without writing them as a couple. A strong friendship can hold just as much power as a romantic relationship.

Is it because fuck aros, i will write what I wanna write and I don't wanna write this character with their canon identity? because then you’re just an arophobic asshole that needs to work on your shitty opinions. aro representation is just as important as any other lgbtqia+ representation.

Now if you’re reading this and thinking “well i heard aros can be in queerplatonic relationships!” I want you to think for a second. Are you writing a qpr or are you writing a romantic relationship with the serial numbers filed off? Have you talked to aro people or read stuff actually written by us? because, yes, some qprs can look a lot like a romantic relationship from the outside, but that’s just it, you’re looking at it from the outside. qprs are more than just “romantic relationship with extra steps”, and i think it’s really telling how many times i see alloromantic people saying they’re depicting an aro character in a qpr, not a romantic relationship, but then they never ever make any effort to distinguish the qpr from any other romantic relationship they write or draw. It just feels like qprs are getting used by alloros as a gatcha any time an aro person objects to how they depict (or don’t depict) aromanticism. if you want to write a character in a qpr then go for it! but you need to actually do research, talk to aros, get multiple opinions and not just take the first opinion that agrees with you and run with it.

“But what about headcanoning a character as arospec?” now i will say before i go into this, i am aro, not arospec, so if an arospec person wants to come in and correct me at any part here im happy to listen. but my problem when alloros bring up arospec identities is a very similar problem to how qprs are often depicted. I remember when Peridot Stevenuniverse got confirmed aro (she did, do not argue this with me) people were jumping over themselves to assure everyone that “a character getting confirmed as aro just means they are any arospec identity” which,, uhh,, not true? i mean if an arospec person wants to see a canon aro character as, say, aroflux, i’ve got no problem, aro and arospec people can do what they want really. but, i do have a problem with all the alloro fans who were spreading this. because, do you really see the character as demiromantic? or are you using that identity to deflect criticism from erasing aro identities? are you actually trying to write a good depiction of a demiro person? or are you just writing normal ship stuff and slapping a “uwu ive never felt romantic attraction until i met you! and now i will act exactly like any alloromantic person!” at the beginning? being in fandom spaces, i do see the occasional fic actually depicting an aspec identity (i say aspec her because aro is so rare that most of these examples i’ve seen have been acespec identities rather than arospec) but like 99% of the time, that’s written by someone who actually shares the identity. before you use our terms and identities to cover your ass when you erase us, consider not fucking doing that. consider listening to all aros and getting our thoughts and input. 

And last here is “but what about romance positive aros?” now i think most of what i’ve said previously can be applied here. the only thing i wanna add is, i think its very interesting that almost every time i see non aros depict aros, they always write them as very into romance, very open to be in romantic relationships, and very quiet about their aro identity. despite the character in canon not showing any of these traits. romance positive aros are good and important, but not every aro is romance positive. there’s quite a few of us that are romance repulsed, and alloros only depicting aros as super romance positive no matter what is suspicious to say the least. if an aro character is shown to be open to participating in romantic activities in canon then of course write them that way. but if an aro character is shown to be uninterested in, or even actively against romantic activities then respect that too.

so, to wrap up my thoughts in this ramble: please ask yourself why you want to ship aro characters so bad, because if the only reason is that amatonormativity has brainwashed you into not being able to write, or draw, or do anything with a character without them being in a romantic relationship, then you uhhh need to work on that, that’s honestly a writing/creative flaw imo. if you like the relationship dynamic between an aro character and another character, consider making them friends. friendship is not less powerful than romantic relationships. nobody is ever too old for the power of friendship trope. If you’re erasing an aro character’s identity because fuck aros, then fuck off somewhere far away from me and work on your bullshit. qprs, arospec identities, and romance positive aros are all very real, very important parts of the aro community, but please talk to other aros about them and actually make an effort to understand how these things work, dont just assume. And also don’t use these things as a way to erase aro identities and cover your ass if get called out. its disrespectful towards all aros.

The most important thing to do before writing or creating work with aro characters is to talk to aros, and not just the aros that agree with you. look up what a qpr actually is, learn how aros experience their arospec identities, talk to aros with multiple outlooks on romance. and if you can’t bring yourself to reach out, at least read through our own writings, whether that’s fiction, or informational posts, fuck, look through our memes if u wanna. Just please actually make an effort.

So, Can you ship aro characters? its complicated. look at trends in your fandom, question why you want to, and do research. Be an aro ally, listen to us. That’s really the most important thing.

[fairestwriting]

Hello! Welcome to the twisted wonderland community! I really loved reading your head canons you have up 👏👏😍😍

Can I request headcannon with malleus, Vil, riddle, and rook with their s/o (feMC preferred but GN is okay too) in a soulmate Au? It doesn’t matter the type (red strings, words, etc) I just want them happy and loved 🥰

thanks so much!! im glad you enjoyed them ^_^<3 i’m doing a different soulmate au type for each one of them, i hope you like it!

Malleus Draconia

Lilia tells him about the red string of fate forever ago, when he was rather young, and since then, it’d never left his mind.

A part of him didn’t think he’d ever find his soulmate. It felt like just a silly little tale. He’s alone all the time, no one seems to truly want him anywhere, so how would he actually find his supposed soulmate? It just didn’t feel realistic.

How would he even feel when he met them, too? He’s heard all that whispering about it, people saying how it’s like electricity goes through your body the moment your eyes meet for the first time. As Malleus ages, he sort of just doesn’t believe that existed, having lived for so long without feeling anything like it, and he thought it was fine this way.

So you can imagine how floored he was when he was taking a stroll around Ramshackle Dorm, and he just happened to bump onto her.

Malleus knows not to show it, but it felt like seeing colors for the first time. Immediately, he feels his heart sink at the possibility that you’d be scared of him -- But he sees how your eyes gleam, knowing you’ve met the one.

Your introduction to each other is a little strange. Malleus is uneasy in a very unique way, he keeps his poise, but is very careful to not scare you off. He hesitates on giving you his name, but you tell him yours fearlessly as he helps you up after running into him, the feeling of your hand on his making him feel warm.

You’ll have to take it slow, he’ll want to follow at least some fae courting traditions to be sure he’s doing everything properly, but while he’s not ready to call you his yet, he’ll be happy to take you for night walks, holding your hand and watching your eyes sparkle as you talk about something you love. It’s really love at first sight for him.

Vil Schoenheit

It takes him a while to warm up even to the concept of soulmates itself.

Vil just doesn't like the idea of something that can't change with effort. What if his soulmate interfered with his work? Would he still have to be bound to them despite that, just because fate said so? He stares at the name on his wrist with narrow eyes. He's convinced he'll bend fate if he needs to, refusing to be with his so-called soulmate to continue his pursuit of beauty.

Still, he always feels this weird longing when looking at the name on his wrist. He wouldn't say it out loud but just your name makes him feel a little fuzzy, it sounds beautiful in his mind.

When you meet, he's busy as usual, it's VDC season, so he's setting up the application area with Rook in a classroom when you walk in with your friends who wanted to audition.

Oh, look, it's that girl people talked about. He doesn't think much of it at first, he should be leaving the classroom now, actually, to take care of something else, but then you introduce yourself as you talk to Rook, and the name he's thought about so much rings in his head.

He glances at you before he leaves, discreetly checks the name on his wrist just to confirm. It really is you, and he feels so strange about it -- Have you noticed who he was, too? What would you do about it?

Won't outright pursue you, again, he doesn't believe in fate very strongly, but he couldn't deny that he's interested. Whether you were there to perform or to support your friends who would, you two end up seeing each other a lot, and he's surprised to find that your presence feels so relaxing.

It'll take him a while, but Vil will end up learning that it's okay for him to just let things run their course this time. The more he learns about you, the more you feel like home. The day where you finally talk about being soulmates is happy and warm, and whether Vil confesses to you or you confess to him, he'll find himself being very glad he's finally met you.

Riddle Rosehearts

Having a timer on your arm means the constant awareness that as soon as its out, you’re meeting the person you’re meant to love. Riddle did think about it often as he grew up, but after he becomes Heartslabyul’s dorm head, he doesn’t think much about having a soulmate -- That is, until the first Unbirthday Party of his second year.

He’s walking around, making sure everything’s in place, when suddenly you walk in after the two new freshman, Ace and Deuce. He’d heard about you before, the first girl to attend NRC since forever. The second your eyes meet, he gets a strange feeling, instinctively knowing what it was about -- And he lifts up his sleeve, discreetly checking the time, to see it had ran out.

Riddle isn’t sure how to approach you. You might be sort of scared of him at this point, being the strict dorm leader that he was, and he does his best to keep his composure in front of other students. But because you’re often at Heartslabyul, he ends up having to see you a lot, and his heart races, he really wants to get to know you, despite everything. He wonders if you’ve noticed your timer ran out, too. 

Doesn’t bring up the fact that you’re soulmates until he gets to take you out on at least one date, though. He just wants to take it slow, romantic love feels sort of alien to him at first, but everything about you makes his heart melt. He plans out the confession, taking you out for tea that day, but ends up just blurting it out, face red and hand shaking as he holds the cup.

After that, early dating might be a little awkward, romantic love feels a bit alien to him. Riddle does his very best, though, and knowing you’re meant to be, he’s determined to make you the happiest girl in the world.

Rook Hunt

Being unable to see colors until you meet your fated pair is something a bit bothersome for life as a hunter, but Rook makes it work.

While he hasn’t met you, he finds the thought of having a one true love waiting for you somewhere quite exciting, and thinks about it often. What sort of person would she be? What are the things she loves? What does she look like? Questions about you are in his mind often. Regardless, he’s sure that no matter what their answers are, you’ll be the most beautiful person he’s ever laid his eyes on, inside and out.

You meet just outside the Pomefiore dorm, he's about to go outside and you were supposed to deliver some papers, neither of you paying attention to each other until suddenly, the world fills with color for you both.

Rook stops on his tracks. Finally, he's found you! His eyes are so wide, he'll walk up to you and gleefully introduce himself, if you've dropped the papers in shock, he'll pick them up for you and press a chaste kiss to your hand. Here he is, mademoiselle, your very own hunter of love.

He's so excited to meet you. From now on, he'll be around you all the time, determined to win your affections. It does take him a bit to actually fall in love with you, but for the whole time he really wants it to happen, he's happy to have met you, and he honestly feels warm inside at the thought of your presence being the thing that lets him see even more beauty in this world. It's just so magical to him.

[watevermelon]

Cheater!Akaashi x Reader

✧ Summary: (Continuation) Akaashi goes yandere over the reader dismissing him.

➳ A/N: Hi hi!! SO many people in my dm’s about this Akaashi cheating scenario! I don’t mind writing about it more at all, if anything please feed my imagination because I dont know what to write! ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ Checkout my updated Masterlist to see what continuations are in the works!! :) ➳ Warning: Not a Happy Ending; IM GONNA BE UP-FRONT, THIS ONE IS FUCKED UP - do not read this if any of your triggers involve yandere-like behavior: violence, kidnapping - you have been warned. ➳  Masterlist ➳  Part One ➳  Part Three (NSFW)

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There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that Akaashi could ever say that would let you bring him back into your life. But the setter was intent on getting your attention, often waiting outside your classroom after school or pursuing you during your free period.

Any rumors about the relationship were quelled when Akaashi set the record straight. He would not allow anyone to sully your name, basically telling the nosy president of his fan-club that he was the one who fucked up the relationship. Akaashi told them to never bother you again, he was the cause of it all and he would do anything to regain your forgiveness.

Akaashi would never beg, but he urged you on multiple occasions to hear him out and possibly explain what he wanted. Why he thought he even had the right to ask that of you - just that fact alone flamed up your anger. He was being selfish and you wanted no part of his life anymore. 

But there was also something… majorly different about Akaashi.

He was still quiet, still the ever mannered pretty setter of the volleyball team. People still fawned over his good looks and the quiet genius that he had. But there was something off about him these days, not that you could really explain it. His gaze lingered on you too long and he just so happened to be around you even outside of school hours.

There was one time you went out to eat with your friends on the weekend, going from vendor to vendor along the busy streets of Kichijoji. At some point, you felt the telltale pinpricks at the back of your neck, turning to see his familiar blue eyes staring back at you in the distance. You swore you saw Akaashi that day, but after not seeing it again for the rest of the night, you wondered if you were truly just going insane.

He never outright said the reason why it was over to other people, but at least most knew that Akaashi was at fault. But seeing him so earnestly pleading to have a part of your life again, it made many people sympathize with the setter. They had no idea what he had done wrong, but those ignorant students were so quick to jump on his side.

You tried your best to ignore him, your best friends having your back when it came to his advances. You were rarely ever alone, friends walking with you to and from class. Konoha was your one friendship from the volleyball team that was preserved and he had mentioned once that to even him, something felt off. And so he suddenly started sitting with your group during lunch.

To your knowledge, Akaashi was still pursuing Bokuto romantically as well. The two were often engaged in public displays of affection and so you were curious as to why and how the wing-spiker was okay with Akaashi so actively chasing you. There was something off about the two of them, they were a couple, but not in the traditional sense. They had yet to confirm their relationship publicly, but had no qualms about sharing a quick peck for everyone to see.

You remembered passing the both of them as you exited home, taking the main entrance this time. They were standing there, just waiting by the stairs. You watched as their eyes scanned the crowd quickly before they latched onto you, Bokuto’s owl-like eyes, which usually held a loud innocence, were scarily following you with each step. Akaashi was no better, his blue-eyes that always mystified you, for some reason brought an uncomfortable crawl up your spine.

You only let out a breath when you turned the corner, neither volleyball member able to see you from this distance anymore. But when Bokuto turned the same corner, you felt your pace suddenly hesitate. Akaashi was nowhere to be found, the wing-spiker hot on your trail as you took out your phone. You called the first person you thought of.

“Hey, (L/N)! What’s up?” Konoha’s voice rang through the other end.

“Hey!” You hesitated, not wanting to give anything away as Bokuto’s presence loomed over you, “Um. Are you free?”

“Yeah, but I actually took the train home already.”

“No worries, I’ll go to you!” You urged.

Konoha hesitated, before asking. “Is something wrong? I can tell from your voice something’s off.”

“Um, how about we talk about it over dinner instead?”

“Sure. Where are you now?”

“I’m still by the school.”

“Ah, okay. Go back to the gates where the teachers are, I’ll go to you.”

“Thank you so much!!” You exclaimed, immediately turning around as the phone call ended.

Bokuto was right behind you.

“Hi, (L/N).”

“Bokuto-san.” You greeted, unsure why the upward drag of his gaze was lighting up every nerve in your body. 

All the signs in your head were screaming danger!

“Was that Konoha?”

“I don’t see how that concerns you.” You bit out.

“Not yet, at least.”

You swallowed in fear before angling your head proudly, “Stay away from me.”

Bokuto put a hand on your shoulder, “I know you’re mad at me and Akaashi, but we never meant to hurt you.”

You shook out of his grasp easily, saying nothing to him as you passed. When you returned to the school grounds, Akaashi was still standing where you last saw him. You rushed over to the teacher waiting by the schoolgate, your heart leaping up again when Bokuto turned the corner back to where you were and waited, eyes still trained on you. You busied yourself with your phone, texting your friends and scrolling through social media in the meantime.

It was only when Konoha showed up, this time in casual attire, did you feel like you could breath. Their eyes stayed trained on you and you swore you heard Bokuto snarl when Konoha laid a lazy arm over your shoulders.

You explained it all to Konoha, how the two were freaking you the fuck out these past few days. They kept you on edge, not in the way that should have made you mad for their relationship. But rather like they were too focusing too intently on you to be considered normal, especially with the given circumstances. If Akaashi was truly begging for forgiveness, you would have thrown hands with him long ago. But now, it felt like he was truly stalking you, his eyes following you at every open opportunity.

Konoha listened to your worries and genuinely tried to alleviate your stress. He moved to sit next to you instead of across, hugging you to his body and saying he would do his best to make sure you were okay on school grounds. You didn’t cry, just leaning a head on his shoulder as he caressed lazy circles on your back.

He walked you home that night, your hands held together and a genuine smile on your face.

And true to his word, the next day, Konoha was outside your classroom door after lunch. He even beat Akaashi to it, the setter’s annoyance obvious on his face as he watched you take Konoha’s hand.

Your best friend commended his tenacity, “Konoha is the only one with rights in this house.”

You laughed eagerly then, happy to finally have a feeling of normality setting in again. And for a while, the one who broke your heart was pushed to the side. You had more real problems at the forefront, his blue-eyes were the least of your worries when you had exams and homework due in the next couple of days. 

Akaashi’s quiet gaze and Bokuto’s bold eyes were far from you now - your friends were by your side. 

Or at least, that’s what you thought.

Konoha made sure to walk you home whenever he could. And, as per usual, he was waiting at the gate until he saw you safely enter the abode. Only then did he walk away, heading in the opposite direction toward his own family home. 

You meandered through the kitchen, grabbing an after-school snack and blasting music in one ear as you walked up to your room. Shaking off your backpack, which hung on one-shoulder to begin with, you threw it onto your bed before taking out some of your books. You wanted a jump-start on this homework and you knew that if you mentally wandered off now, there was no doing it at all.

You dragged the textbook out and plopped it on your desk, notebook following as you sat down and mentally prepared yourself. The last few lessons in chemistry were confusing, but not impossible. With the right amount of concentration, it would be done easily with time to spare for a nap within the hour.

Leaning down and angling your head down towards the table, your focus was completely on the task at hand.

You weren’t expecting a completely separate hand to slam the textbook close and latch a firm grip around your neck.

“Finally, we’re alone.”

You struggled against his hold, the striking blue-eyes that you got to know over the past year now reflecting back at you. Akaashi had your neck between his fingers, the usually docile setter lifting you to your tippy-toes. Panic set in just as quickly as you were losing your strength, air circulation cutting off as your ex-boyfriend assaulted your person.

Trying your best to push him off, you punched at both his chest and the arm holding you, but he deflected it easily and simply continued to watch you fail to heave in air in his fist. Only when you felt your eyes rolling backward, barely on the brink of consciousness, did he drop you to the ground.

“I’m sorry, my love.” Akaashi stated, affectionate pet-name a complete contrast to his monotone voice. This was nothing like the boyfriend you had for the past year. His loving eyes screamed of danger and you wanted nothing more than to leave immediately.

You were down on your hands and knees, gasping in air in both shock and disbelief. Had Akaashi really choked you within the safety of your own home? You rubbed at your neck, as if the action would help you fill back-up your lungs. 

You had to get out of here, now.

Glancing over to your door, Akaashi immediately entered your line of sight and kicked you in the abdomen.

“Now how is that fair?” Akaashi asked, “I went through all this trouble to make sure we would have this moment alone.”

You heaved out, “Why are you doing this?”

“You weren’t willing to listen to me back at school.” Akaashi spat out, as if this was your fault. “And I couldn’t wait any longer - who knows how far that bastard Konoha would have gone if I waited?”

Desperate to put any distance between you and this monster, you crawled back toward your bed, only for Akaashi to close it with paces of his own.

“Shut up.” You boldly stated, struggling to stand but doing so anyway. “You are the one who ruined everything.”

“Baby, I said I’m sorry a hundred times and I’ll do it again if I have to.” Akaashi whined before his face took on a darker look, “Why don’t you understand? What do I have to do to make you understand?”

Not wanting to take another kick to the middle or worse, you tried to talk it out before you could think of a plan to escape. “Understand what?”

“Understand how much I love you.”

You reaction was instantaneous, not even your dumb fuck mind could read the danger in the room.

“What a fucking lie.” Akaashi recoiled, ready to challenge you before you continued. “You don’t cheat on the people you love! And you don’t physically hurt them and break into the homes your victims!”

“Yes, I do.”

“Are you fucking phsychotic?!” You yelled back.

Mental reminder: don’t yell that at someone who is clearly off their rockers.

Akaashi laughed loudly, at what exactly, you were not sure. But it was not the right question since it elicited that type of response. He just cracked a half-broken smile, one that felt wrong and yet genuine.

“Get out of my house!”

The look he shot you back - a quirked brow and a small smirk, none of which was the usually calm Akaashi you were used to - basically told you how dumb your statement was.

Instead you asked, “Why are you doing this?”

“To claim the one I love.” He guestered out to you, out-stretching a hand for you to take.

There were two options here: take the hand and get sucked into the immediate space with him. Or don’t take it and risk losing a fight with the nationally-competing athlete in a matter of seconds. Or worse, anger him to the point of extreme violence like before.

There was no convincing yourself this was normal, your shaky hand hesitantly reaching out to Akaashi’s open palm. He smiled gently at you, almost slipping on the usual mask of the perfect boyfriend that you had originally fallen for. But when he tightly gripped your hand and pulled you to him, you knew that was all a farce for this much more violent persona.

“I knew you would understand. We’re meant to be together, I know it.” He murmured against your ear, holding you at the waist against his body. You almost verbally gagged at the thought of him grinding against you, but if you wanted out of his house you would have to take the first opening you got. You had to play it smart.

Akaashi leaned down to kiss you and not even your survival instincts were enough to hide your true feelings. He must not have liked what he was seeing, since he forcibly grabbed at your chin to angle up towards you. You pulled at the feeling, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to get him to think you were playing into it.

His eyes fluttered closed, relishing in the feel of you steadying yourself, of you giving, against his body.

And you kneed him in the groin as hard as you could.

Akaashi doubled over immediately and his grasp on you crumbled. You took the chance and ran out the door, slamming it behind you as you ran down the hallway and towards the stairs. The danger looming behind you was extraordinary, the loud scream of anger coming from the setter was enough indication that he was hot on your heels.

You scrambled toward your front door, throwing it open and screaming out into the neighborhood for anyone in the near vicinity to help. There was a woman walking her dog and another person on their phone and you pleaded with them with rabid yells for their attention.

But before they even tried to help you, a hand clasped over your mouth and dragged you back into the house.

This person, you could not fight off, his strength more than even you and Akaashi combined. Bokuto pulled you back into your living room, tossing you on the ground with no regard to how much power was behind his movements. 

That was when you realized how much they truly planned this out. You always felt their eyes on you for a reason - they were memorizing your schedule. 

From the route you took home, to when you had off-days, to the one time in weeks that both your parents would not be home tonight - Akaashi and Bokuto had planned it all.

And now you were trapped in your own home with two violent volleyball members.

Bokuto looked at you expectedly while Akaashi trudged down your banister, his gaze harsh and predatory as it scanned your figure on the ground. You were sandwiched between the two, nowhere to run and if you were to scream, then the wing-spiker would just hold you down like before or worse, the setter would choke you until you had no voice.

“Let me go.” You stated, voice promulgating the silent air.

Bokuto crossed his arms and walked to your kitchen, expression on his face stating that he wasn’t willing to listen to you beg. His presence alone was a silent warning, run and he will catch you. 

You backed away from Akaashi but he rushed forward to grab you by the hair, pulling you to a standing position and forcing your lips together. The force was bruising, not at all romantic or gentle like you had done so in the past. He was nipping harshly, surely swollen lips under his teeth as he continued to assault your person. 

“You are mine, forever.” He muttered against your lips, locking in your future least you face the consequences of disobeying.

--------xXxXxXxXxXx--------

Come checkout some of the other ending’s for the Cheater!Akaashi scenario:

➳  Masterlist ➳  Part One ➳  Part Three (nsfw)

[softlyblues]

hi I read your answer about moist! I agree. :) I was wondering based on what you said if you ship vetvimes or not?

fhi, thanks very much! 

i think vetvimes have a rly interesting and nuanced dynamic. i’m all in for the memes, of course i am, but i don’t really ship it so much as i think vetinari/vimes/sybil have a rly interesting, basically canonical relationship, involving if not vimes w/ both of them, then all three of them with each other. i rly hope u dont mind bc im about to go off on one lmao. 

i recently reread guards guards and what got me (and i know from a doylist pov it’s because pterry hadnt finalised the universe yet) was the inequality in vetvimes dynamic. vetinari pities vimes and holds him at arms length, and vimes is a very stupid but very earnest drunkard. he’s a pitiable figure when he asks for a small raise and a dartboard, and vetinari doesn’t take him seriously. 

through men at arms/feet of clay/jingo we see the dynamic we know and love growing. it’s been a while since i’ve read them all, but im gonna get up some scenes that i think are super important to vet/vimes/sybil... and yes this includes the gonne scene. (:D)

so here is the scene right after vetinari is shot. here is really, imo, the first time vimes stops seeing vetinari as one of his Betters - vimes is in his element, calm even, and vetinari asks him what to do. vetinari speaks slowly, almost stuttering, and i read a lot of fear into that line “i appear... to be losing a lot of blood.”

and then vimes outright accuses vetinari of not doing the right thing. can you IMAGINE guards guards vimes doing something like that? vimes holds vetinari to account, and vetinari allows him. i also think it’s significant that this all happens at vimes & sybil’s wedding; we know sybil and vetinari are friends, old friends, and the wedding continues on despite the attack. vimes has time to save sybil AND vetinari, without sacrificing one for the other. that’s really the central point of men at arms: vimes doesn’t have to retire to have time for his wife and for the watch. he can multitask without losing either. 

feet of clay is another important leveler book for vetinari and vimes. for most of the book, vetinari is slowly dying, trusting basically nobody but drumknott and vimes to come into his room - he does know what’s going on, yes, but he trusts vimes to not need his help to work the thing out. vetinari does stay ahead, and he does have the advantage, but he doesn’t feel the need to help vimes; he respects him, and treats him as though he’s on the same level as him. this is really important for vimes’ perception of himself going from drunkard to someone who has people relying on him, and as someone who can be trusted. in order for vetinari and vimes to have any relationship, they need to not only be on a level, but they both need to know they are as well. i think vetinari has no problem knowing this, but sam is very unreliable when it comes to an account of his own intelligence, bravery, and merit. i mean. he remains, right up until the end of snuff, convinced that he is a Bad Person who has Snuck Into Someone Else’s Happy Life and is waiting for the other shoe, yknow, so men at arms/feet of clay are important books for hauling vimes up onto vetinari’s platform so they both know they’re equals. 

sybil is HUGELY important in this, and part of the reason i dislike traditional vetvimes is bc they just... idk, kill her off of make her horrible or just disregard her existence. sybil is the catalyst for literally all of sam’s development. without her he’s an alcoholic in the gutter. with her, he’s duke, commander, sir samuel, the man vetinari trusts the most. (dont disregard sybil, vetvimes ppl.)

in jingo, i think we start to see the vetvimessybil dynamic we’re more familiar with. vetinari trusts sam to play along with him, and he goes to klatch and does the whole sexy juggler thing and he allows sam to arrest two countries. he lets the lords of ankh-morpork raise armies, because he trusts sam. sybil trusts sam. vetinari trusts sam. vimes trusts both of them implicitly, even if he doesn’t think or say so. 

fifth elephant might seem not that important, but it’s really big to note that at the beginning, vetinari and sybil appear to be conspiring to give sam a holiday. also, sybil calls vetinari havelock, and the only other person i can remember who calls him that is lady margolotta, his ‘love interest’. vimes turns to sybil as his last chance against vetinari, only to find that they’ve been in cahoots because they’re both concerned about his health (and about sybil) and doesn’t that sound terribly domestic!

then we come to night watch, and i know it isn’t a new opinion, that this is one of the big pivotal books for he whole series, but more than that it’s pivotal for the balance between vetinari, vimes, and sybil. the cigar case is the only thing stopping sam from going off the deep end - with love from your sybil, just to press the point - and it all happens in between the birth of young sam. vimes is motivated by love for his city of course, but he has a family now, and he drinks Loving His Wife Juice through history. vimes has already been through his character development; night watch is vetinari’s turn.

finally vimes is the wiser, superior, older mentor figure to vetinari’s bullied, presumably 25-or-younger self. he is already mature, with a tendency towards the dramatic, but i think it’s not really a reach to say night watch was vetinari’s gay awakening. and OH MY GOD the ending scene beside keel’s grave is etched into my memory. i’ll attach it even though i’m sure we don’t need it:

like, woah. what a change in dynamic. now vetinari is bowing to the whims of a vimes he can’t predict, and now vimes is the one telling vetinari off. this is his area of expertise. “afterwards we could-” vetinari has become accustomed to a world where he and sam do things together; it would be fair to say (and supported by the young assassin at the start of this book) that vimes is now firmly integral to the cogs of ankh-morpork. vetinari not only relies on him, but trusts him to be at his side without having to ask. vetinari respects him at this time, in this place, because he has finally seen the lengths to which vimes will go to protect his city, a dedication to a-m that only vetinari has ever expressed. 

from there i think vetinari/vimes/sybil continue without much change. in thud, snuff, and raising steam they have settled into a comfortable give and take. i think that sybil ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be removed from the equation, because she cares for both vimes & vetinari - she is a formidable force when put into action (hello, army of letter-writers from snuff!) and we know she has the power to bully both men into taking care of themselves. imo she is the driving force behind any romantic action between any of the three of them, including herself & sam; remember how they got together in guards guards? she just sat him down with a cup of tea and talked and he realised that he’d somehow gathered a fiancee without realising it. sybil ramkin is DEFINITELY the unstoppable force to both mens’ immovable objects. 

i think it’s perfectly expressed in thud. vimes can both read a story to his son, be a good husband to his wife, be a good commander to his patrician, and be a good watchman to his city, without ever having to sacrifice anything - because of the machinations of his wife and his patrician. (and his city and his son. i mean, that scene with the traffic and the high-speed bedtime story chase says it all.) 

so those are my Many Many Thoughts about vetvimes, i hope that... wasnt too much over what you were asking me for lmao

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[popculturebuffet]

Green Eggs and Ham: “Train” Review or A Little Better Now (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello you happy people and all aboard! We’re back on the Green Eggs and Ham Train for a Train themed episode. Train. As you can tell I like trains... admitely I don’t see enough episodes et on them and I don’t buy books or obess on them but I like the idea of a train, the comfort, the use of a mode of travel that was once common but is now simply used on occasion with the dawn of air travel, and it confining our heroes to a smaller space with limited room to move. it’s good stuff. I even tolerae the band train... I mean yes their music is okay at best, but the lyrics.. are wonderfully delightfully insane. Who else would use a garbage bag as a genuine romantic metaphor?

When last we left off things ere a bit ehhhhhhhhhhh: Sam went from delightfully quirky with some issues ot adress to annoying, and Michelle went from kin dof a bitch ot ENTIRELY THAT BITCH. Outside of Guy’s mental breakdown/heatstroke episode involving hallucinations of green eggs and ham, yes that did in fact happen, it wasn’t much to write home about and I worried the series simply had a good PILOT but the series itself wasn’t going to be fun sit through. 

If I was right or I was rilla.. will have to wait till after the cut. But first as always i’d like to thank the person who payed for this episode Emma Fici. Emma is one of my closest friends and one of two patreon patreons. If you’d like a reivew of your choice eveyr month guarnateed, then please hop over to patreon.com/popculturebuffet and back me at the 5 dollar level. You also get access to my exclusive discord where I ocasoinally post about work in progress stuff and tlak to my falns, to pick a short any time I do one and EXCLUSIVE review, as well as helping me hit my stretch goals. So line up, sign up then join me under the cut. 

So we pick up where we left off with Guy hurtling into a lake. Eh I dunno i’ve heard being naked ina  lake is pretty neat. 

All you’d have to do is take off the hat and your there. But Sam saves him wiht the weird train of hats he put at the end of the car for some reason, and our heroes are saved.. but down a vehicle. Oh and Sam’s vehiclular neglgence costs a bunch of fish their home.

And our heroes are without a car and Guys at the end of his rope with Sam.. I mean granted he’s been there since he met the guy but it’s down to like the tiniest thred, not helped by Sam casually stealing his wallet to pay for train tickets depsite Guy , UNDERSTANDABLY, not wanting to hang out with the guy who has stolen with him, gotten him implicate din animal trafficing and dosen’t really respect personal space. Also it’s taken me embarassingly long to remember Micheal Douglas played my boy Hank Pym in the Ant Man and the Wasp films. Seroiusly I don’t know HOW I forgot that, him being aged up and thus unable to do ANY of the things he is constnatly denied credit for in canon (Founding the avengers, being the first ant man.. and the first goliath and the first yellow jacket and the first giant man.. and the only doctor pym...).. but instead the film kept his troubled nature and ego, but removed the domestic abuse (which is something I will not go into but needless to say the comics version went above and beyond to try and make up for that and redeem himself soley because it was the right hting to do) and by making im older still gav ehim a roll as Scott’s mentor. What i’m getting at is I freaking love Hank Pym and I could’ve been making hank pym jokes for several episdoes now. That’s a mistake I itned to recitfy.. right away as Guy looses his suitcase as a result of it and whie he lcaims not to be bothered his voice says otherwise. Eh i’m sure the world can wait for ultron Guy. 

So anyway, Guy reluctantly agrees to the train travel idea and being parked across from Sam on the grounds he has no real other options. Meanwhile the BAD GUYZ.. and i’ve also decided to drop spoilers as the series is two years old, most people reading this have probably seen the series, and it makes analysis rough when I have to dance around spoilers. So yeah the BAD GUYZ aren’t villians.. kind of a dickhead on the blue guys part, but not EVIL. They figure out their going by train it’s a whole thing.

ON the train we run into michelle again...

Yeahhh for the first half she’s as inusfferable as she was the last two episodes and it lead me to believie the rest of the series was going to be constant suffering as she’d be in every episode, likely because they DID get Diane Keaton for this and you don’t waste Diane Keaton. You just don’t. But while they got their money’s worth in having her on screne wise they just..w asted her for the first 2 and a half episodes: Michelle is a judgemental, unpleasnt suffocating bitch and it’s going to take a lot , even if this episode helped, to make me truly like her as a person. 

Case in point her first two scenes this episode are just.. dragging her daughter past a play place uncarring about her feelings because while I DO get she cares about her child’s saftey and is terrified afte rloosing her husband.. it dosen’t EXCUSE her actions. It dosen’t forgive her locking her daughter up constanlty, not talking to her like a human being and oh yeah PUTTING A FUCKING LOCK ON HER SHE CAN CONTROL.  I mean my god I don’t think they INTENDED for her to come off as abusive as she does, and i’ve seen far worse inteitonally and untietionally, but it’s still not remotely plesant. There is a larger issue baked into that the episode brings about, but we’ll get to that. 

And naturally at breakfast.. she procedes to top herself. ONCE AGAIN she treats guy like trash as guy UNDERSTANDABLY didn’t want to talk to her after her previous layers of bullshit which, just as a refresher, involved insulting his invention constnatly (even if it turned out ot be dangerous she did not know that till the last second) then refusing to help a man BAKING in the desert and mocking him to his face. 

So yeah unsuprisingly instead of you know, APOLOGIZING for that episode or anything else she mocks him again and calls him sad. I just.. I get they were trying to have her come off as a jerk and then slowly develop.. but you can’t overdue the jerk part. It has to be juts the right amount and if it is this much there has to be a commpuance. There is none as far as I can tell because god is a spiteful two faced prick. 

So naturally Sam forces the two parties together, and orders green eggs and ham for everyone, except guy who refuses. We do get a really great bit though as EB turns down the idea and we get a tremendous rant from Micheal Douglas as he talks about how a girl in his clash, veyr likely just him, got a rash from tring new things and you shouldn’t and to watch out for the scarlet beetle he’ll steel your ants and try to conquer your planet and is not a guy in a costume but in fact an actual beetle. EB naturally tries it. 

We get a brief interlude with Snerz that’s funny enough: he outright calls his visotrs flunkies, they enter to the song money, and his minon throws dollar bills at their feet. I imagine this is what visitng Mar a Largo is like. They turn up his noses until he mentions getting a chickarffe for his animal crutelty wall. And i’m torn about Snerz. On one hand he can be generally entertaining in his dickery.. but ont he other I do question why he’s in EVERY episode. We don’t NEED him in eveyr one and I feel he’s only in them because Eddie Izzard was expensive so they had to get him as a regular to justify the cost. We really DONT’ need this scene funny as it is and it adds nothing so far. Maybe i’m wrong and these guys end up being important. I don’t know. 

So yeah so far this episode was miserable getting through and I expected it to be another long sit... I was wrong. The second half.. is really damn good and reminded me why I liked this series so much. No really. We get two stories,both really good following one half of each pair teaming up. As for why their split Guy is annoyed with Sam, as well as dosen’t want him letting the chickaraffe out because you know lots of people dosen’t want ot go to jail and leaves to find a quiet place to work on watching paint dry while Michelle tucks a sleeping EB in, her first really truly humanizing moment, which should NOT have taken three episodes but hey, i’ll take it, and goes to find the same.

So starting with Sam and EB, naturally Sam takes all of a minute to let his buddy out and it gets loose on top of the train. EB hears the familiar sound and gives chase and the two meet properly. After Sam covers for his buddy and realizes the creature is asleep in his car safe now, he properly talks to EB and we get a truly magical sequnece: The two talk with Sam whoelheartdly supporting her free spirit and finally giving the girl what she badly needed: someone who treated her not as something to be tied down but you know.. a child who just wants some expression and as she literally lets her hair down, It’s truly adorable and it just has a magical quanitity as they enjoy the beautiful view from the train top. 

Granted this takes at urn later when EB brings up her mom, and Sam.. supports her mom, pointing out she’s just looking out for her.. which she is but in a deeply unehalthy way and I don’t like the show just.. brushing over Michelle’s terrible actions because “she’s her mom”. But it’s also hard to tell if they are: Sam’s mom left him as we’ll find out, so he likely colors his memories of her rosey and simply envys EB still HAVING hers. It’s not BAD stuff but I don’t like a work saying “You should love your family just beacause your related”. Instead of because they lovea nd support you and if they dont’ love you or treat you remotely well or don’t give an ass about you fuck them. Thankfully I DO love my family and have no issues with them, my immediate family at least, but i’ve had friens with downright abusive or neglectful parents. It’s not that black and white. Ducktales also hammered in the family theme but was transparent in how it can me messy, harm each other and that it took true love and consideratoin for it to work at it’s core. 

It’s still not a terrible scene and what comes next is neat as earlier it was shown the train has loops, because Seussworld, and now that’s a problem because their on top of it. Michelle’s jail braclet thing ends up coming in handy the first loop, as while she can’t unstick it means she and sam can suririvie it. They do get it loose, turns out the password was indeed password, because of course, and they end up narrowly suriving a roller coaster bit of track, with the help of MR. Jenkins who I can finally name because EB names her in the next scene. Understanding her need for a pet, Sam deputizes her, and gets her back in bed in time for the next plot. 

Speaking of which winding back a bit as these two go back and forth, Guy goes through two rather hilarious cars: First a bath car that has a bubsby berkely style water number and then a model train car.. with the train on the track showing guy watching guy watchin gthe train etc. 

It’s great. Guy ends up finding the quiet car.. and Michelle. And in her first scene of acting like a human being and not if julie powers was a soccer mom, Michelle, while standosfish as usual, not only unites with guy to shush a loud guy in the car, but is genuinely apricative when Guy helps her get her place back, she was doing some literal bean counting. 

The two genuinely hit it off, first with some adorable silent bits and then by talking, with Michelle appreciating his now safer job and warming up to him. Keaton and Douglas have GENUINE chemestry and it annoys me itt took the series this long to use that instead of wasting Diane Keaton on being 

It’s really great stuff and i’m actually rooting for the two.. once she gets her shit together obviously. Guy does make the mistake of lying abotu knowing about the chikcaraffe.

This ends up being bad as he finds out EB knows the next day and after she leaves the car RIGHTFULLY tears the fuck into same for getting him accused of crime, stealing from him and now puttin ghim in a precarious situation. While Guy DID lie, he idd so well meaningly and trying to impress someone whose ineherntly judgmeental. Douglas also does REALY well in the scene, calling sam out but it dosen’t feel cruel.. it’s justified. While guy is miserable and does need to work on himself.. Sam also needs to work on himself and is putting guy in serious danger just by forcing him into his animal smuggling scheme. 

So Guy leaves.. and naturally given the unvierse hate shim runs into the BAD GUYZ, who aren’t much better. No really they refuse to belieive guy might be innocent, use excessive force on everyone. They have better GOALS than sam but I woudln’t really call them good people. Smash to black and we’re out. 

Final Thoughts:  This one was better. As I said the first half or rather third drags slightly but once we get to the two seperate plotlines it’s REALLY damn good stuff and reminded me what the series was capable of in character in creativity. Hopefully it keeps this up

Next Time on the Blog: We return to mewni for the penultimate chapter of season 3 as Moon and Eclipsa have some fundemtnal disgareemnts on how to handle Meteora that wind up costing both dearly. 

See you at the next rainbow

[illfoandillfie]

No Particular Place To Go

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader

Summery: Roger takes you on a drive

Warnings: None really. Some swearing, some talk of sex but nothing explicit, driving without a seatbelt

Words: 1724

A/N: I didn't really plan to write this but I was sitting on a bus listening to my 50s playlist today when No Particular Place To Go by Chuck Berry came up on shuffle and it inspired me. Something short and cute to tide you over until I can finish one of the other things i'm working on. 

Also did you know seat belts weren't compulsory in the UK until like 1983!

Taglist:  @laedymoon  @dtfrogertaylor  @vee-ndetta​ @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac​ @labessieisallama​ @deakyclicks​ @jennyggggrrr​ @drowseoftaylor​  @hannafuckingsucks​  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming​ @queenmylovely​ @supersonicfreddie​

You knew it was Roger’s car coming down the street the second you heard the growl of the engine. It didn’t have the low whine of the woman next door’s car or the sickly chug of the one from across the road that pissed Roger off every time he heard it. He strongly believed a car that nice should belong to someone who’d look after it properly and not the prick who had it. As if to prove that he made sure his own set of wheels was at its cleanest and smoothest running whenever he picked you up for a date. You weren’t sure if it was a pride thing or just a determination to be better than annoying assholes or if it was because he’d caught the guy checking you out one hot afternoon. Whatever the reason it kept things interesting. And stopped Roger from outright punching the guy. Plus it meant you could recognise Roger’s engine within seconds, having heard him purr his way to your door every time you had a date. Which is why you were already skipping down the front steps before he could step out of the car. “Hi love,” he grinned as he pulled you into a hug, “you ready to go?” “Yeah, where are you taking me?” “On a drive,” He shrugged as he pulled the front passenger door open for you, “nowhere particular. Just thought it might be a bit of fun, you and me and the open road.” “Sounds very romantic Rog.” “Damn fuckin’ right it will be.” You couldn’t help but laugh as he shut the door and made his way round to the driver’s seat. He looked bemused as he glanced over and saw you buckling your seatbelt. “You are the only person I’ve ever met who bothers with that thing.” “You say that like you meet hundreds of people every day when we both know that’s not true. Honestly, I can’t believe you don’t buckle up. The number of scrapes you’ve gotten into.” “Hey! It’s not that many,” he half laughed as he pulled out onto the road. “There was like three last week if I’m not mistaken – the pole you hit when you were reversing, that scratch you spent hours buffing out from that little red car you got too close t-” “Okay okay, point taken. But,” he glanced in the mirror as he pulled up at an intersection, “counter argument.” It was a good thing the road was quiet because Roger leaned in to kiss you softly, fingertips dancing over your jaw, making you entirely forget what your third example was. If you hadn’t been sat in the passenger seat of a running vehicle you would have been more than happy to let Roger keep kissing you. But, instead you whispered his name against his lips the first moment he pulled away long enough for you to get the word out. “Said you were gonna take me on a drive,” “Technically I did.” “Only three streets from home,” “Exactly, three whole streets. Haven’t gone too far to turn around yet,” “Rog, c’mon,” He sighed and leaned in for one final kiss before he faced forward again, looked right and left and then kept driving, “You sure you don’t wanna head home?” “Get me more than three streets away and you’ll get more than a kiss.”

The sun was beginning to set as you reached the highway. Roger had stolen a few more quick kisses at various red lights and stop signs, but for the most part he was well behaved. You fiddled with the radio as he drove, trying to find a decent station to listen to as you got further and further away from home, singing along to whatever songs you landed on between bursts of conversation. It was while you were singing along to an advertising jingle you’d heard a thousand times that you caught Roger looking at you. “What is it?” “Nothing. I love you,” “I love you too, Rog,” A giggle was pulled from you as Roger threw his arm around you and tugged you to lean against his side, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head. It did absolutely nothing to stem the rising urge to kiss him again. But he was driving and, now that you were out of the backstreets, there were more cars around to be mindful of. So you leaned your head on Roger’s shoulder, fingers twitching in your lap with the desire to get closer, to hold him properly, no steering wheels or seat belts in the way. You tried to distract yourself from those thoughts by suggesting you play eye spy or something similar, but the game didn’t last long. The dying light made it harder and harder to see things clearly enough and, though you thought you were doing an admirable job of keeping yourself under wraps, Roger wasn’t doing so well. His breath was coming noticeably harder and seemed to catch in his throat whenever you leaned your head against his shoulder, his voice was rougher, and you could have sworn his pants were a bit tighter than they had been when he got into the car.

When you noticed the first stars appearing in the sky you spoke up, “should we pull over?” Roger nodded and jerked the car onto the grass on the side of the road. You hoped he hadn’t done something stupid and got the wheels stuck but the thought was driven from your mind when the noise of the engine died down. “Been wondering when you’d ask instead of making all those cute little needy sighing noises. And you’re nipples have been poking through your shirt for so long now it’s a miracle I stayed so focused on the road.” “Shut up and kiss me again,” Roger’s face broke into a grin as he did as you’d requested, clearly as eager to get his hands on you as you were to touch him. He twisted towards you more as his tongue ran over your bottom lip, one hand cupping your face. His other hand dropped down to your chest, pinching and squeezing over your shirt. Your arched into him as much as the seatbelt would allow, torn between grabbing him back and undoing the belt. Your nails scraped over the release button, bumping against Roger’s as you both fumbled with it. But neither of you managed to hit it properly, the belt staying tight. You let out a breathless chuckle that Roger happily swallowed as you moved your hand up to his jaw, letting him unbuckle you. He groaned softly when there was no pop and shifted in his seat. “Stupid fucking thing,” he mumbled against your lips as he tried a second time to release you. When he was met with the same problem he pulled away, focusing all his attention on the buckle. “Rog, what are you doing?” “It’s not….You try, I’m at a bad angle,” You rolled your eyes, “Y’know if you used yours more you’d know how to get them un- Fuck. It’s not working,” “What?” “Rog I’m stuck. Your piece of shit car has me trapped,” “Hey, she’s not that bad,” “Mmhmm, sure,” you tugged on the belt, the panic rising in your chest and not being able to get loose, “because everyone knows the good cars have these sorts of problems,” “Stop talking shit about the car, you’ve obviously buckled it wrong. Give me a second,” Roger said in response to your look, flinging his door open so he could run around to yours. He wrenched I open hard and bent over your lap to try and get a better look as he once more attempted pressing the button in. It didn’t budge. “Well?” you pulled on the belt again. “It’s gone all stiff, I need more leverage I think,” he half climbed into the car, only one leg remaining on the ground outside and tried to put more of his weight into it. You burst out laughing, unable to hold back at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Roger joined in, his face falling against your neck as he tried to collect himself. “Is there anyway you can just fuck me like this?” You asked, through the laughter, wiping tears from your eyes. “Don’t think so. Maybe I could get my finger’s in there?” A fresh burst of laughter took you both over, Roger stumbling backwards out of the car again.

When it finally passed the worry kicked back in, your chest tightening at the thought of never being free. It was the same feeling you got when your head got stuck in your shirt. “What are we going to do, Rog?” Roger looked you over, scratching his head, “I don’t know. Something.” “That’s not helpful. I’d really quite like to not be stuck like this for the rest of my life, thanks.” “We’ll get you out, just keep trying while we drive, okay? I’ve got some oil back at my place that might help,” Roger let out a breath and shook his head, “Can’t believe my piece of shit car fucking cockblocked us.” You giggled again as he got back into the drivers seat, shaking his head, “So you agree it’s a piece of shit,” “Uh, no, you don’t get to bash on my car, only I get to do that. And if you just didn’t bother with the belt like a regular fucking person. Or if you’d let me turn around before we got too far,” You poked your tongue out at Roger. It was quiet except for the radio and the engine as Roger turned the car around and headed back the way you’d come, he mood so different to when you’d pulled up. Your body still hummed with desire but it was more subdued now, though you were sure it would be back in full force the second you broke loose. “I promise I’ll get you out,” Roger said softly, glancing over at you, “even if I have to cut the belt in half.” “I know,” you tugged on it again, hoping that the movement of the car would loosen it somehow, “But can you also promise that if I manage to get it undone while we’re driving, you’ll pull over the first chance you get.”

[artigas]

(1) Hi! Its the anon that asked about lizzie and tatiana, I’m currently halfway through s5 and i really like jessie! I thought she was gonna be the one to finally resist tommys advances. I liked the scene where he goes to her apartment and they have a good back and forth. But alas she cant resist and sleeps w him, and he’s essentially just using her. I love her as a character and how she manifests her ideals into actions but, so far i thought she’d call out tommys shit by now!

And specially i cant help but resent how they set up the women to compete against one another, i rolled my eyes at the scene where they are exiting the polls and jesse and lizzie size each other up. Girls, please move on. I did like in season 5 where tommy is drunk meeting w jessie and she just gets up and leaves. I think the show has good female characters it just that they prioritize the male ones more. Unlike the women, the male characters dont revolve around a relationship. and finally, And idk if im just overthinking things but i think the show has upped its sexist comments? specially w tommy and arthur. W tommy telling lizzie shes his property and arthur telling linda to just be a good wife. Meanwhile polly and ada are really well written characters for the most part! Sorry this is so long i just have a lot of thoughts regarding the women of this show. And i love your analisis!

Nope! Don’t apologize, friend, I’ve absolutely adored reading all your feedback and your experience watching the show! I think Peaky Blinders, for all its good, has a lot of space to grow when it comes to women characters who are potentially romantically/sexually available to the protagonists- it does sometimes feel like the quality of writing and the depth of character for women characters waxes and wanes, but I also think that a lot of these characters- Lizzie, Grace, Polly, Esme, etc- have these great foundations, these building blocks of characterization that make them really compelling and really promising so long as they have free reign to be written as complexly and as thoughtfully as their male counterparts. I think Grace is a really stellar example, you know? Love her or hate her, she has a history, a back-story, individual motivations, and a social/political ideology that can actually really be broken down in some pretty interesting ways! Polly, too, is another character who is probably most obviously allowed to be pointedly ambitious, sexual, manipulative and outright cruel and still someone the show clearly roots for and sides with. I love what we get with Polly, especially considering how most shows would probably limit her to being maternal, chaste, and uninvolved in the family business (likely because of her age, too). Overall, I think the show does a good job of giving women characters flaws- none of them are meant to be perfect. But I really do think Peaky Blinders could benefit from occasionally resisting the urge to have all its women have romantic subplots, primarily with Tommy almost unexceptionally. 

As far as Jessie goes, I really do love that she’s someone who has this strong ethical and political foundation. I mean, Jessie and Freddie in a room together would’ve been a sight, right? I especially adored her scenes with Ada. I think they had such interesting chemistry and so much could’ve been done if the show had the real estate to really contrast Jessie’s idealism and dedication to the communist cause and Ada’s disenchanted relationship with that same movement she once honestly dedicated herself to. The fact that Jessie and Tommy both draw together because they represent to one (or, at least, invoke the memory of) their respective lost loves was also a refreshing change in terms of the sort of “romantic” relationships Tommy has had thus far. (How authentic we want to think that ‘relationship’ was from either Jessie or Tommy’s end is a different story and definitely worthy of suspect and investigation in the funnest possible way, I think, but I don’t wanna rant).

As far as season five goes, I think the hike in misogynist language and ideology wasn’t coincidental or without thought. I think Arthur and Tommy both are progressively getting worse as the show goes on and went through separate, but equally erosive psychological processes that took out a really ugly side to them both, especially in their relationship with the women in their lives. It felt to me like both characters were scrambling for control and finding a way to express authority over women who depend on them became one of the ways that need made itself manifest. I think it’s no coincidence that Lizzie and Linda look for solidarity in each other. I think their joint decision to write those letters, advocate their needs, and then respectively find some sort of approach to the state of their lives so that they could carry on with some semblance of safety, security, or (dare I say it!) happiness was interesting and heartbreaking- Linda tried to find it by leaving the family, finding another person to speak to and find solace with, and then eventually breaking down to the decision to attack Arthur and it hurt to see it! Lizzie’s own process was so complex, I think. I could go on and on about her belief that life wasn’t about what one deserves, but what one agrees to, settles for, etc. Her sex scene with Tommy, too, really just invites so much analysis and criticism, right? Which makes it, I think, a very effective sex scene as far as writing goes, because it isn’t a pause from characterization or plot, but rather a moment of intimacy between Lizzie and Tommy that reveals a different facet of their respective character developments. Was it kinda messy for Tommy to call her his property? Absolutely! But I also don’t want to dismiss how much I liked hearing Lizzie advocate some boundaries in that sex scene, too. It’s complicated, man! It’s a scene a lot of people have interpreted different and I’ve loved hearing all the different takes, there’s so much validity to be found in the different readings I’ve already seen out there. 

I think the show made no excuses for how awful Tommy and Arthur were being through season five. I think we as the audience are meant to recognize that their conduct and their comments weren’t something to emulate or exonerate, but instead symptomatic of their downwards progression throughout the season. It’s just a shame that these condemnations probably aren’t overt enough for the real Meat-Head faction of the fandom to catch onto- reddit is a nasty place to venture off into if you’re invested in any of Peaky’s female characters, that’s for sure. But man, if you’re here on tumblr, boy does this fandom have a lot of people churning out meta worth reading! If you want some blog recommendations, let me know!!! Thank you for keeping my in the loop with your watching journey ♡

[whereissora]

My Favorite Sora and Riku BroTP Moments

 First off, I don’t ship Soriku. Sorry, but I just don’t. I have never gotten a romantic vibe from them EVER and I really enjoy how they interact and work together like a pair of brothers. There are plenty of other tumblrs that post Soriku, and I assure you they’re not hard to find.

 Riku is sexy and important and Sora is a literal drop of sunshine, and I love both these boys so much. I really enjoy how much Riku’s character arc reminds me of Zuko from ATLA and how he embodies the “protective big brother” cliche which can be seen in a lot of animes. Likewise, Sora is a wonderful protagonist and the way he adores and actually listens to Riku makes me want to give Riku a thumbs up:

Good job, Riku, on somewhat-raising Sora. He’s wonderful in a million amazing ways~

 I know Sora has parents alright, im just messing around~

 And so, as I write this, I will be viewing Sora and Riku in a very platonic manner. These two are close to the point of being real brother’s, and since Kairi does play a part in their relationship, she will be mentioned here and there.

Just know that even if you ship SoRiku and I ship SoKai, doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy this list! This is a BroTP post, not an OTP post, but you may find one of the reasons you ship SoRiku on here even if I have a different understanding of the moment in question.

I will be leaving comments open, with one request: you may say whatever you like in response to this post so as long as you are respectful about it. So please, no character bashing, no ship bashing, and definitely no harassment or bullying. I will block any guilty party and/or close the comments for this post. 

10) Encounter in the Land of Dragons

 Sora spends the majority of KH2 looking for Riku, and eventually, Kairi. By the time he makes his second trip to “The Land of Dragons” (I’m super tempted to write China, here) Sora has still yet to encounter Riku despite all the extra behind-the-scenes help Riku keeps giving him. 

 They finally run into each other here, but Sora assumes its a member of Org XIII given what he seems to be doing and what he is wearing. Riku casually warns Sora to watch his back by pointing at the heartless, which Sora then takes out. After the fight, Riku makes this hilarious gesture, like he’s saying “well, look at that. You’ve become so dependable,” then runs off. Sora gives chase until losing sight of him at which point he wonders aloud:

 “That guy...”

 “No...! Why... Would he...?” 

 Sora thinks that it’s Riku he just met, and kinda reaches for him as he calls his name. He says “Riku?” in a way that doesn’t hide how cautiously hopeful he is, and is overjoyed later when he hears from the emperor that the guy in the black coat “was kinda rude.”

Sora, YOU’RE a little rude.

9) Riku demands to know what Diz wants (with Sora)

 Diz is a pretty suspicious character, and Riku trusts him about as far as he can throw him. Unfortunately, the only people Riku trusts implicitly are comatose, absent, or far away. He can’t wake Sora up on his own, so he begrudgingly accepts Diz’s help.

 Near the end of Sora’s reconstruction, Diz expresses his thoughts over Sora waking up in a way that’s... mildly creepy. 

 Diz doesn’t really care for Sora as a person. He’s a means to an end. Riku isn’t stupid--he can tell. His priority is doing everything he can to help Sora wake up. But the minute  Diz says Sora’s name--in a tone that makes it abundantly clear he is being used, like Roxas is--Riku takes a seat like “Don’t you f***ing dare. What do you want with us, anyway?” And says the polite version of that. 

8) Riku visits Namine

I’m not sure whether Riku knew to go see Namine on his own, or if he was summoned there by Diz. But either way, Sora’s awakening is taking way too long. 

 After leaving Castle Oblivion, Riku began investigating the Organization since they literally forced Sora into an indefinite, comatose state. Namine promised to look after Sora, and when they meet again, Riku, gently, but firmly, reminds her of this, as if to ask “What’s taking so long?”

 There can’t be a good reason, so he needs to know. That way, he can help.

 Unfortunately, the situation is that some of Sora’s memories currently reside in two different people. Namine carefully explains that there is no way to help Sora without harming them, and if they try to do that anyway, Sora will wake up only to realize no one remembers him. 

Here, the camera shifts from Namine to Riku while keeping that one line on the screen, making it clear that’s not an option for them. Sora cannot wake up to find out he’s been forgotten--they are not willing to risk that. 

 This leaves just the worst possible option, and that is to kill two people. 

 A role which Riku now resigns himself to.

 This might have been higher on the list if not for how SAD it is... For everyone involved. 

7) Sora remembers how they grew up together

 KH1′s ending broke a lot of hearts (cough not as much as III cough) and final mix’s version just twisted the knife with this little scene. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do not remember seeing this little Sora-flashback first time around. 

 The door has been shut and locked, leaving Riku and Mickey stranded in the Dark Realm. Sora looks on as he recalls his childhood spent growing up alongside Riku, how they laughed and ran together, and this scene couldn’t possibly be more heart wrenching--

Hears Project Destatis D.B. themes and variations playing in the background~

👏Thank👏you👏Everglow👏

You, too @projectdestati

6) Sora and Riku fight the final battle together

I love all the little scenes in this fight. 

 You get a lot of these two protecting/supporting each other here.

 At one point, Sora is nabbed by Xemnas and is having his HP drained, and you get to fight as Riku in order to free him.

 When Xemnas starts firing those light-rods or whatever they’re called at Sora and Riku, the boys stand back to back as they deflect them. 

 This leaves them so drained that Xemnas is able to kick Riku back and attack Sora, but Riku pulls Sora out of the way AND TAKES THE HIT HIMSELF.

 Sora and Riku use their combined strength to shoot Xemnas out of the sky.

 And on top of all that, you get this:

SORA AND RIKU STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT TO FIST BUMP!!!! This is canon. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!

 It’s as if they’re each telling the other:

                                             “No worries! I’m here.”

5) Riku meets Xion (twice) 

For the sake of keeping this list to my top ten, I’m including Riku’s first and second meetings with Xion as one reason. I know, I know, I’m kind of cheating, but I really can’t choose between these two.

 While investigating Org XIII, Riku must wear their coat. It allows him to move about without detection. Ironically, this also gets their attention since he’s Riku, he’s not one of their members, and he’s clearly opposed to them. They send Xion to take him out, but he defeats her and is both disturbed and concerned by her appearance. 

 Xion demands to know why Riku is dressed as one of them, and he answers:

                            “To make sure my best friend... Sleeps in peace.”

Riku is determined to protect Sora, who is vulnerable in his sleeping state, no matter what Riku is forced to wear, or who he transforms into. This may partly be due to the fact that:  

 Riku was the one who opened the DTD and destroyed the islands.

 Riku is the reason Kairi’s heart was separated from her body and went into Sora’s for shelter.

 And Sora ultimately had to stab himself through the heart to free her and complete the keyhole in Hollow Bastion.

 And all of this led to the creation of Roxas, Sora’s Nobody, being born. Sora wouldn’t even be in this mess if it weren’t for Riku’s actions. Heck, without Riku, Sora never would’ve gotten the keyblade, which has made Sora a huge target for Org XIII. Riku carries that guilt with him everywhere he goes throughout Days, as he struggles to help Namine complete Sora’s reconstruction.

The next time Riku meets Xion, she’s run off from the Organization because she learned what she really was. She tries to ask Riku where Sora is and he outright tells her:

                                             “That secret stays with me.”

Riku says this in a way that makes it clear he would die before he handed Sora over to the enemy, and isn’t willing to risk Sora’s safety for anything.

 Riku, buddy, you’re a priority, too.

He never blamed Xion or Roxas for the Organization’s actions, though, because just like Sora, these two were being used. So when Xion asks “Do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?” Riku’s answer is:

                                             “Nah... I guess I’m just sad.”

Me: 

Xion is the reason Sora cannot wake up! On top of that, because Xion exists, Riku must see to it that both she and Roxas meet their ends if he ever wants to see Sora again. And despite all that, Riku doesn’t hate her. 

5) “Don’t be so reckless. Do you want to end up like Riku?”

Halfway through KH2, Saix implies that Riku has ended up in a dire situation, causing Sora to react with alarm. As far as Saix knows, Riku was taken out by Roxas, and he’s more than happy to let that slip to Sora who has been searching everywhere for him.

With or without his memories of C.O., Sora’s last real memory of Riku is watching him be trapped in the Dark Realm when they closed the door together.

The Dark Realm is basically the KH version of Hell, and it’s not the place for hearts of light residing within still-living individuals. From what Sora’s seen of the Dark Realm, it is crawling with dark sides, and even if there is a light within the darkness, the Dark Realm is not a safe place to be.

So hearing Saix say “Do you want to end up like Riku?” has a pretty powerful impact on him. Aside from his own firm belief in Riku’s strength, Sora has been given every reason to believe Riku is dead. There’s no sign of him anywhere, no word of him from anyone, and the last place he was seen in is a relatively fatal environment.  

And now he has even less reason to hope Riku is still alive.

4) Riku rescues Sora in 3D

 Say what you will about 3D, but the bro feels are HEAVY in this game. 

 Once again, Sora is lured into one of the Organizations traps.

 And again Riku attempts to protect him from this trap. 

 Again, he failed to reach Sora in time. It is only with the help of Donald, Goofy, Mickey, and Axel that he is able to retrieve Sora before it is too late. 

 Sora’s heart was trapped in darkest abyss, leaving Sora’s empty body in a sleeping state, similar to what Ven suffered through for over a decade. Yen Sid theorizes that Riku, who unlocked the seven sleeping keyholes within Sora’s dreams, now has the ability to retrieve Sora’s heart and wake him from his sleep.

 Come to think, maybe this has something to do with why we see Riku looking for Sora in the KH3 secret movie instead of Kairi?

It’s insanely dangerous to venture into the abyss, but Riku goes anyway and is successful in rescuing Sora.

 3)  Did I mention that Sora called for Riku when YMX nabbed him?

Sora’s afraid! He’s steeming in darkness and he’s struggling to keep his eyes open because he knows there’s a chance this will be the last thing he sees! He’s aware that if his body is turned into a vessel, he’ll be used to hurt Riku, Kairi, and everyone else he loves.

 So what does he do? He calls for Riku!

 Riku has been taking the exam with him, and if there’s anyone who can pull him out of this mess its Riku, the same person who has almost always come to his rescue. 

 And Riku does that just that.

 I actually really enjoyed 3D just because it was fairly dark, and heroes can’t succeed all the time. Plus, Riku got to play the role of the one who has Sora’s back no matter what and was rewarded with the title of Keyblade Master for his trouble.

Sora deserves to be Master, too--

2) Kairi reunites Sora and Riku in TWTNW

This scene has me in tears, even now. 

 As mentioned before, Sora has been given every reason to believe Riku is dead. 

 He saw someone in the Land of Dragons who was using Riku's keyblade, and was kind of acting like Riku. But was that really him? Or just another member of Org XIII messing with him? 

 What did Saix mean when he warned Sora not to be reckless like Riku was?

 King Mickey made a promise to Riku, but what sort of promise? And why won’t he say anything about Riku?

 What happened?

 Where is he?

 Thanks to Kairi, Sora is able to reunite with Riku properly. Riku wasn’t even going to say anything to Sora--he still feels ashamed of himself for betraying Sora, and for looking the way he does. But Kairi takes both boys hands and has Sora close his eyes, and Sora is able to finally figure it out:

 Riku was always close by, helping him. He just looks a little different.

 Sora raises his head, and his eyes first widen then scrunch up as the tears come. 

He takes Riku’s hand and falls to his knees. 

Once he’s down there, he can’t hold himself together anymore and just starts weeping. 

 This is part of the reason people ship SoRiku at all, and heck, I might have too if not for SoKai and the fact that Sora is a super affectionate person. 

 Also, it’s pretty clear by how relieved and tearful Sora is that he more-or-less believed Riku was gone. He looked for him, but couldn’t find him anywhere. The organization loves to mess with him--maybe that guy who was behaving like Riku in the Land of Dragon’s killed him and stole his sword. Maybe the reason Mickey won’t say anything is because the truth is too much. 

 I have best friends that I’ve grown up with, too. If they were to vanish like Riku did, and I went from country to country in search of them, and then if I finally found them after being told everywhere I went that they were gone... Well, I’d be more of a mess than Sora because I’m not as strong as him. 

 Sora manages to choke out that he looked ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE for Riku. To which Riku answers:

This earns a shocked little gasp from Sora, because it’s kind of a slap in the face to Sora’s efforts to locate Riku.

 Not that Riku is trying to be cruel here. Sora doesn’t understand yet that Riku only pushed him away in order to protect him. And when Sora demands, “Why didn’t you let me know you were okay?” Riku calmly explains that he couldn’t stand for Sora and Kairi to see him like this, with Heartless Ansem’s face. The face of the man that possessed him and nearly killed Sora and Kairi.

 But they don’t care what he looks like, because it’s still Riku on the inside.

1) Riku protects Sora in KH3

Gosh, this was such a heavy moment. 

 Sora and Riku were just forced to watch as all their friends were whisked away into the Demon Tide. The last person to go was Kairi, and once she’s gone, Sora falls to his knees lets out a scream that destroyed me physically, emotionally, and mentally.

We have never seen this side of Sora before, and neither has Riku. Just after Kairi is taken away, Riku is standing nearby, staring out at the demon tide, apparently in shock. We can’t see his face, but Riku grew up with Kairi, too, and he’s clearly distressed by what just happened. 

 But Sora screams his heart out and Riku immediately rushes to his side. He kneels and listens as Sora gives up and claims he is worthless without the others. Riku’s expression is soft at first but slowly hardens, and after Sora cries over his failure, Riku quietly gets up and tells him:

                                     “Sora, you don’t believe that.”

                                              “I know you don’t.”

 Riku then walks forward without another word, and singlehandedly keeps the demon tide at bay. 

 Sora cannot find the strength to get up and help, but Riku doesn’t yield. He screams in defiance as the shadows overtake him, determined to protect Sora until the end. 

 Overall, I just really like how Riku has Sora’s back no matter what and how Sora quietly acknowledges that in KH3 when comparing Riku and himself to Anna and Elsa:

These two are bros for life.

[addictedforbooksquad]

P I C K (S)  O F  T H E  M O N T H: S E P T E M B E R

City of Ghosts by Victoria Schwab

Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren

Sadie by Courtney Summers

Hard Sell by Lauren Layne

Bad Romeo by Leisa Rayven

Broken Juliet by Leisa Rayven

City of Ghosts by Victoria Schwab

Genres: Young Adult (Middle Grade), Fantasy, Paranormal

Links: goodreads | bookdepository

Synopsis:

Cassidy Blake's parents are The Inspectres, a (somewhat inept) ghost-hunting team. But Cass herself can REALLY see ghosts. In fact, her best friend, Jacob, just happens to be one. When The Inspectres head to ultra-haunted Edinburgh, Scotland, for their new TV show, Cass—and Jacob—come along. In Scotland, Cass is surrounded by ghosts, not all of them friendly. Then she meets Lara, a girl who can also see the dead. But Lara tells Cassidy that as an In-betweener, their job is to send ghosts permanently beyond the Veil. Cass isn't sure about her new mission, but she does know the sinister Red Raven haunting the city doesn't belong in her world. Cassidy's powers will draw her into an epic fight that stretches through the worlds of the living and the dead, in order to save herself.

Why we love it:

human + ghost friendship

great setting (haunted Scotland)

numerous Harry Potter references

spooky and fun

perfect book if you want to get into Halloween mood!

Trigger warnings: n/a

Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren

Genres: Contemporary, Romance, New Adult

Links: goodreads | bookdepository

Synopsis:

Hazel Camille Bradford knows she’s a lot to take—and frankly, most men aren’t up to the challenge. If her army of pets and thrill for the absurd don’t send them running, her lack of filter means she’ll say exactly the wrong thing in a delicate moment. Their loss. She’s a good soul in search of honest fun. Josh Im has known Hazel since college, where her zany playfulness proved completely incompatible with his mellow restraint. From the first night they met—when she gracelessly threw up on his shoes—to when she sent him an unintelligible email while in a post-surgical haze, Josh has always thought of Hazel more as a spectacle than a peer. But now, ten years later, after a cheating girlfriend has turned his life upside down, going out with Hazel is a breath of fresh air. Not that Josh and Hazel date. At least, not each other. Because setting each other up on progressively terrible double blind dates means there’s nothing between them...right?

Why we love it:

cute, funny and sexy

friends to lovers trope done really well

main characters are polar opposites and yet they fit so well

lovable heroine who’s unapologetic about the way she is (adorable, quirky, eccentric and she wouldn’t change for anyone

Trigger warnings: (somewhat) explicit sexual content

Sadie by Courtney Summers

Genres: Young Adult, Mystery, Contemporary

Links: goodreads | bookdepository

Synopsis:

Sadie hasn't had an easy life. Growing up on her own, she's been raising her sister Mattie in an isolated small town, trying her best to provide a normal life and keep their heads above water. But when Mattie is found dead, Sadie's entire world crumbles. After a somewhat botched police investigation, Sadie is determined to bring her sister's killer to justice and hits the road following a few meagre clues to find him. When West McCray—a radio personality working on a segment about small, forgotten towns in America—overhears Sadie's story at a local gas station, he becomes obsessed with finding the missing girl. He starts his own podcast as he tracks Sadie's journey, trying to figure out what happened, hoping to find her before it's too late.

Why we love it:

this book is like a small wave in #MeToo movement

doesn’t sugercoat sexual abuse

deals with a lot of relevant, important and difficult issues - pedophilia and sexual abuse and what mark it leaves not only on the victims but also on their families, how families cope with their children being kidnapped, how there are people in this world who take advantage of their social status and respect and it allows them to be someone’s abuser

the writing is fast paced and leaves you wanting more

it’s heart-breaking but impactful, it leaves a mark on you and makes you think

Trigger warnings: pedophilia, sexual abuse, parental neglect

Hard Sell by Lauren Layne

Genres: New Adult, Romance, Contemporary

Links: goodreads | bookdepository

Synopsis:

He’s a Wall Street wolf. She’s been hired to tame him. From New York Times bestselling author Lauren Layne comes a wildly sexy novel of business and pleasure. Twenty-eight and filthy rich, Matt Cannon is the youngest broker on Wall Street. He may be a ���boy wonder,” but he’s every inch a man. Ask any woman—any night. But when Matt’s latest fling makes scandalous headlines, his clients get anxious, and his bosses at Wolfe Investments level an ultimatum: keep his assets zipped, get a “real” girlfriend, and clean up his act. Only one woman can help Matt with something this hard. For PR genius Sabrina Cross, the best fixer in Manhattan, playing Matt’s steady is going to be a challenge, even if it’s just for show. They already have an explosive history, she can’t stand the cocky party boy, and worse—she can’t stop thinking about him. So who’ll dare to break her “no touching” rule first? Because when that happens, Matt and Sabrina’s game of let’s pretend will get so hot it could set both their reputations on fire.

Why we love it:

group of friends with great dynamic

heroine who is an unapologetic boss lady 

H.O.T. (but also sweet!)

the main couple has a really interesting dynamic as well (enemies/frenemies who would take a bullet for one another and have carried on a casual sexual relationship)

once the heroine gets feelings, she admits it outright

we wanted to read more about them!!!

Trigger warnings: explicit sexual content

Bad Romeo by Leisa Rayven

Genres: Contemporary, Romance, New Adult

Links: goodreads | bookdepository

Synopsis:

When Cassie Taylor met Ethan Holt at acting school, sparks flew. She was the good girl actress. He was the bad boy about campus. But one fated casting choice for Romeo and Juliet changed it all. Like the characters they were playing, Cassie and Ethan's romance seemed destined. Until he broke her heart and betrayed her trust. Now the A-list heartthrob is back in her life and turning her world around. One touch at a time. Cast as romantic leads once again, they're forced to confront raw memories of the heartbreaking lows and pulse-pounding highs of their secret college affair. But they'll also discover that people who rub each other the wrong way often make the best sparks.

Why we love it:

(see notes for Broken Juliet, 2nd book in the series)

Trigger warnings: explicit sexual content

Broken Juliet by Leisa Rayven

Genres: Contemporary, Romance, New Adult

Links: goodreads | bookdepository

Synopsis:

How do you fix a love that’s been broken beyond repair? For years, Cassie Taylor tried to forget about Ethan Holt. He was the one great love of her life, and when he failed to return her love, a part of her died forever. Or so she thought. Now she and Ethan are sharing a Broadway stage, and he’s determined to win her back. Claiming to be a changed man, he’s finally able to say all the things she needed to hear years ago, but can she believe him? What makes this time different from all his other broken promises? Ethan knows he can’t change their tumultuous past, but if he’s going to have any chance of being with the woman he loves, he’ll need to convince Cassie that her future belongs with him. Don’t miss this stunning conclusion to the unforgettable love story that captivated over two million fans online.

Why we love it:

high score on “can’t-put-it-down-ness” scale, great pacing even though story is spanned over a few years

no cheating or unnecessary love triangle - the couple struggles to be together by overcoming their own demons

it kind of has an enemies to lovers trope going on and it definitely contributes to hotness factor

angst but the payoff with happy ending is very satisfactory

Trigger warnings: explicit sexual content

[thicc-anxieties]

What ships in SU do you like and dislike ?

ahhh okay so the ones I love are definitely 

- Ruby and Sapphire. cause come on how can you not adore them, they are the epitome of a healthy and understanding relationship , and being tiny and absolutely adorable doesn’t hurt 

- Lapis and Peridot. honestly they are just super cute to me and i think they work really well together and have shown to be comfortable around each other, which is something both characters have struggled with when it comes to others. Aside from in a romantic stand point I think they just work really well 

The ones i like are probably

Mystery Girl and Pearl. I think they can grow into something special , their first interaction was sweet and I would like to see more of it. I also think it’s really important to see pearl taking the steps to move on , even if it doesn’t work out

Amethyst and Peridot . I really love their interactions, and the few episodes that showed their dynamics proved they would probably be pretty good for each other, I love the little teasing from amethyst and how they find each other hilarious, overall a pretty sweet ship 

Steven and Connie. I don’t necessarily ship these two in the way i ship the other characters, they are kids, and they are good friends. I could see steven’s little crush on connie growing though , and if they become a couple i would have no complaints, it’s always cute being with your best friend  . 

Lars and Sadie. Now I wouldn’t have a problem if these two stayed friends. There is just obvious love between both of them that i could see actually turning into something real. Honestly these two just need to get their shit together lmao  .

I’m indifferent to:

Rose and Pearl . Okay , out of all of these (besides ruby and sapphire ) , this is the most canon pairing, at least when it comes to feelings. We know how much pearl loved and adored rose, almost to a fault really , which is part of the reason she had such a hard time with greg and Steven and still has yet to completely move on . I don’t dislike the ship , but seeing how we don’t necessarily know how Rose felt about Pearl , (I’m sure it’s a lot more complicated then just her loving or not loving her back ) I don’t really know what to make of them together as a dynamic or a couple, or how healthy and stable their relationship would be, especially with rose being pearls whole world, and possibly rose thinking of pearl as just part of it. That’s something that pearl took like a dagger and kept with her until she finally realized she needs to let that out , and not blame greg or Steven for rose not being her’s anymore.  

Rose and Greg . sooo..these two. They very well could go under a couple I like or even love , they seemed to work great together, all those videos of them just on vacations or going on adventures were all so sweet . It’s obvious there was love there . The only thing that rubbed me the wrong way is rose’s feelings for greg. They came off as more of an interest, a fascination with an overall species and one member of that species that seemed particularly fun . I don’t want to demonize rose, I don’t want to imply that she didn’t actually fall in love with greg for who he is and not just what he is . I know rose , and all the gems really , were ignorant at first to what humans actually are, and how they actually think and feel . It’s not to say that They didn’t fall in love. The way Rose thought about greg , (maybe just at first and her views changed, idk ), just rubbed me the wrong way . 

Pearl and Amethyst. Im ultimately indifferent on these two because I like their dynamic , i just don’t really see anything happening . Not to say it wont. I just have yet to see many hints of it? aside from the beginning of the show with the slight blushes and teasing, I think I shipped it more back then . I still have really no problem with the ship, and it would be pretty cute to see them develop into a couple, I just don’t see it really happening that way . I don’t wanna stomp a foot on ppl who ship this lol , i genuinely would be happy to see it develop . 

Garnet and..(insert all the crystal gems here ). So . Garnet. ..Honestly , i love garnets dynamics with the pearl and amethyst, and i get why people would take a liking to them , especially after seeing that both pearl and amethyst are probs a kinda gay for her ( i mean yea who wouldn’t be ) or at least admire the shit out of her . And i guess I’m pretty indifferent, but im leaning towards not liking it . not because i think the dynamics don’t work or they would be unhealthy or any of that , but because of garnet herself being a fusion . Now I am all here for consensual polyamory ( i mean in the way that all parties agree and know about the everyone involved ) . But , I’m not sure if garnet is ? And my reasons for saying this are her talk with Jamie , her main reason given is that she is a relationship , she is made out of the love of two gems , she is already taken . Her turning down Jamie with that explanation pretty much tells me she believes herself to be a single monogamous relationship , and she does not want to be with anyone else . 

ships I dislike :

okkkaaayy here we go

Jasper and Lapis : Okay , before I actually analyze why I dislike this ship , I don’t hate Jasper, I don’t hate Lapis . But , It is obvious to me why I shouldn’t ship them together, as a couple . One of the main reasons is what their relationship was telling the audience, juxtaposed  to Stevonnie or Garnet, other fusions , fusions that are about trust and comfort and safety , and utmost compatibility with one another . Lapis and Jasper , were completely and undeniably a metaphor for an abusive relationship . Their forceful fusion dances, their monstrous and unstable form , their constant battling of one another to be the one in power . Not to mention the language used in the episodes that discuss their relationship .  Garnet outright saying “ they are really bad for each other” . Not to mention the entirety of alone at sea, Lapis admitting she misses the jasper , and the control , Jasper begging for lapis to fuse with her again , saying that she never felt that way before about fusion , that she needed the power, that they have both changed , using the excuse that it would be “better this time” Lapis shocked to find Jasper would want to be something so unhealthy again and saying “ I never wanna feel like I felt with you , never again “ Everything about their relationship is the epitome of an emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship , resulting from attachment that came from enjoyment of control and power on both sides, something neither of them have had. 

Aside from the fact that everything about their relationship was unhealthy and not anything anyone should strive for, it hit too close to home for me to see any potential of them working it out. Being in an abusive relationship in the past, I recognized everything right away, not just the obvious tactics, but the begging , the missing of the abuse, the confusion on whether or not it’s actually something bad. Alone at Sea literally triggered my anxieties from what happened because they hit the nail in the head so hard of how it’s really like, at least how it was really like for me. I thought i deserved my abuse , and i thought I loved the person who was doing it , and i believed them when they said it would change , or nothing bad was really happening. I was relieved when lapis said no , and acknowledged how unhealthy they were together. 

The show would have to do a hell of a lot to convince me they both grew and could actually work out something that’s not dependent, not emotionally damaging, something healthy and understanding and supportive. If they don’t convince me , I don’t have it in me to look at the two of them and see a dynamic that deserves support . For me I see a warning, this is what not to strive for ,these are some of the signs you need to look for if you think you’re in a bad situation , and get out of it in anyway you can . 

I don’t want to demonize those who ship them , I know a lot of people ship them in a scenario where they actually talk , they actually work it out, they actually help each other with their insecurities and fears and become something okay .  But that’s not what their relationship is like at all right now, it’s the opposite, and I personally can’t support it . 

[lesbianyennefer]

ok ive finished andromeda and so im gunna collate my final gathered thoughts below:

All in all its been a good game but for the first time in my life in not just a mass effect but a bioware game i dont LOVE it i cant even say i think its very good - ive even been edging on outright disinterest and boredom at various points throughout. bioware games for all their faults have always made me get fully into their stories get completely immersed in the world and in mass effects case in their characters too. but andromeda is the first time ever that i find myself saying if someone asked me how good it was i would say meh. if someone asked me how the latest installment in my favourite thing to exist on this planet was i would say meh. as someone who for whom the original trilogy is genuinely my favourite thing in existence there arent words for how much it upsets me. im not even like ‘i wanna play again!!!’ like i usually am because im usually still so immersed in the world. here are some thoughts and delving deeper into the things that stood out to me:

- the writing: its poor. there have been a few funny moments and lines and most of the main quest dialogue lines are good but compared to what we are used to from mass efefct it PALES. only one moment of real enjoyment stands out to me in the entire game and that was the movie night one - of the only moments in the game I got happy about like the original trilogy. the writing for dialogue not just with npcs but with companions is often clunky, nonsensical, boring and adds nothing to furthering knowledge/relationships. i honestly couldnt tell you a lot about many of them because the conversations didnt pertain to actually getting to know them. it says in the codex that they all consider me close friends but its never been mentioned that they even considered me one nor can i recall when the friendship actually got going or how we reached the ‘close’ part. similarily a lot of criticism from critics was about the base elements being rehashed from the original and its true. so much has just been copy pasted from the ot in a way that actually makes this version less interesting. the big ‘reveals’ in the story are also so badly done that when jaal mentioned the angara were made by the jaardun is it? i didnt have a wow moment like mass effect has given me in the past i was so confused by everything going on i was just like what? nobody seemed to make a big deal out if either considering an entire race just found out they were genetically engineered. the only real ‘wow’ moment i had in the game was finding out ellen ryder was still alive and jien garson was murdered and even then you cant tell anyone and its pretty much forgotten!! ryder knows that jien was murdered by possibly this benefactor who seems to have ulterior motives for all of them and she also knows the reapers invaded and as far as shes aware eradicated the entire milky way. maybe thats something that should be shared with leadership hmm? (as much as i hate tann)  

- the plot: touching on the last the plot was, to me, nothing to write home about. ive always enjoyed that mass effect has a linear storyline that you get stuck into and follow through at a good pace. now i know they said andromeda was going to be more exploration based game - which i would normally like! - but not when the exploration has almost nothing to do with the main story and is so fucking much that you could play for 3 days 12 hours a day and not get to the next bit of the main storyline!! when you space it out too much the audience - or i - loses all connection with the sporadic main plot and what we are actually supposed to be doing so much so that by the time you go to play the next segment you dont even really know why youre there or whats going on. similarly the plot never made me go :O which the ot did a lot. an example ive mentioned before is that seeing the citadel always makes me go ahhh!!! the nexus by comparison is pretty boring. despite its flaws i love the storyline surrounding the reapers and it always gets me each time i play. sitting her writing this if you asked me to detail the main plot of andromeda i honestly couldnt. i cant remember what i did or in which order. theres no substance or linearity.  

- the exploration: i again cant believe im saying this but swtor a mmo game from 2011 has more interesting open worlds with more MANAGEABLE and relevant side quests than andromeda. they might be beautiful but none of the worlds stood out to me - though i loved elaaden and the downed remenant ship star wars reference. i dont mind doing a few bland side quests but when there in the 50s and they lead you on goose chases across entire planets i begin to get agitated. i cant recall the amount of times i had to go back to planets like kadara for one 5 minute firefight and a couple of lines of dialogue. going through the galaxy map animations, the landing animations, the lift down to the slums then crossing the threshold to actually reach the map to THEN find your destination? yeah im pretty done by then.    

- side quests: tying into the above side quests! bioware hinted theyd learned a lesson from dai and taken inspiration from the witcher 3 for their approach to side quests and they appear to have done neither. there are MORE side quests than there were in dai and i actually didnt mind dais but andromedas have become an issue for me - probably because there were so godamn many. they dont have any baring on the story and they are bland and uninteresting mostly fetch quests. i hate bringing the witcher into this because i dont like giving praise to cd projekt red but the truth is bioware could stand to ACTUALLY learn from the witcher 3. the side quests in that are small in number, long in plot and actually connected to the main story. they dont make you feel like youre straying from the plot, their content is deep and very good and they quite often have major consequences. see triss’ quests in novigrad.  one thing i will say is they did seem to take a little of the last into andromeda. some choices have consequences ie saving the salarians over the krogan. that was pretty cool but still underdeveloped. 

- the relationships: by the end of the story i  can say I love all my squadmates despite the fact that i feel like i barely got the chance to know them (the only one il say i dont know at all well enough to love em is gil who has no content aside from the incredibly uncomfortable jill storyline and i wonder why hes the negelected one hmm?). i loved how they moved around and talked to each other but the amount of times i went round to see them and they had nothing to say was a LOT compared to the fact that in me3 everytime you went to see someone they had something (or multiple somethings) to say often without having to enter into a cutscene style animation just to see if they actually want to talk. in terms of romantic relationships ( i romanced peebee) i was disappointed by how little your romanced companion interjects on the story. at least in peebees case there was very little content and she seemed hardly bothered when my ryder got injected then killed herself and then died AGAIN to save them aside from a little snarky “hands off” comment when the archon grabbed her face. she mentioned a little bit back on the ship but compared to me3 and how liara/garrus/ash/kaidan would interject a lot on mission and have hints to their romance sprinkled throughout it felt like another forgotten thing. not one person on the ship mentioned me and peebee aside from a quick thing from sam when i went to see him in my cabin. also jazzed up sex scenes dont mean anything if the rest of the relationship is bland and overlooked. i prefer liara and sheps me3 scene 10x over peebees (my little gay heart still cries). 

- the music: WHERE WAS THE MUSIC??!?! one of my favourite things about games FULLSTOP and the cherry on top of mass effect has always been the music. to this day i love the atmosphere that noveria creates and vigil makes me fucking cry. the suicide mission gets me pumped and leaving earth leaves a gaping hole in my chest. (diverting a bit even dai had fantastic music. in hushed whispers, the lost temple and thedas love theme are among my faves.) aside from the heleus galaxy map music and the ambient from that one destroyed planet i cant recall a single piece of music that stood out. i can remember about 3 tunes overall the map, the main menu and the one that plays a lot when you fight kett. there wasnt even any proper ambient music for the worlds!!!!! there arent words for how upset i am that theres no fucking mission themed bangers. im just really sad about this.       

i think at the end of the day a big reason for me why i havent loved it is because as ive said before it doesnt feel like mass effect to me. to a pretty great extent i think the reason for this is the decision to move to the Andromeda galaxy. the absence of shep and the crew and the normandy is another huge factor but rather unavoidable in terms of continuing the games, but moving to andromeda has robbed the series of everything that made it mass effect. the mass relays, the citadel, the council, the alliance, earth, thessia, palaven they all made mass effect mass effect. Not to mention the quarians (one of my fave races ever), the drell, the volus, hanar, batarians, vorcha they were all a part of what mass effect IS. even the architectural style of the colonies, the nexus its all different and it doesnt have any connection to the ot and the world it created. andromeda feels like its own game completely unrelated to mass effect and one that when considered on its own has an incredibly shaky foundation and sporadic storytelling. at the end of the day it was fun to pass the time but as a huge mass effect fan i feel it was incredibly disappointing and to be quite honest i dont consider it a part of the mass effect i love.