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prose-for-hire · 3 years ago

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Blood and baby formula

(Previous part)

Pairing: Angel x pregnant!reader; Cordy x pregnant!reader (platonic friendship)

Request: Not requested. This is a part 2 that has been stuck in my drafts forever. Ever since I wrote that pregnant reader with Angel, I couldn’t stop thinking about Cordy and the reader being pregnant at the same time lol. This is a second part, with Angel being sweet and protective and Cordy and the reader bonding over their pregnancy.

Gender neutral but reader can get pregnant.

Warning: Reader drinks blood. Threat/violence.

A/N: We can imagine that Cordy has a normal baby and perhaps with some different man, the less we think about Angel s4 the better. Also the gif has nothing to do with anything I just... liked it :)

You and Angel had been on such a high ever since you had learned the news of the little baby bat growing inside of you. He was always attentive and sweet with you but even more so now that you were pregnant.

You were quite a few months along now and you had both began to decorate the nursery. The walls were painted with little designs of animals on the wall that Angel had hand-drawn himself. You knew he could draw, he had done several portraits of you before, but it made you smile so much when you saw how well he had started to decorate the room.

He spoke to the baby often, whispering age old stories as well as sweet promises of fatherly love and protection. There was one tale he spoke often, claiming he could tell it was baby bat’s favourite. It was one he had been told when he was a child. After he finished his stories, he always pressed a goodnight kiss to your bump, stroking softly before settling in beside you and peppering your face with the sweetest kisses.

You had never seen him smile so much and his smile was truly infectious. You laughed and held each other long into the night and often as much of the day as you could cling to. You both tried to keep each other’s hours given that he was nocturnal and you weren’t so much but he was more insistent now that you got a good rest (and kept out of harm’s way).

One morning, you were propped up in bed, your knees up as you smiled softly. He was looking at you in that way again, with such adoration. Angel was on his knees settled between your spread legs. A hand resting on your inner thigh and the other tenderly on your growing bump.

“I love seeing you this way” He said, eyes meeting yours. To know that he had done this, that you had done this together. The baby inside you was yours and his. It brought him such immense joy he had to keep checking himself, ensuring there was no catch.

But there was no catch. Just happiness in abundance.

You moved a hand to lace between the one that had been resting on your thigh. You began discussing names again, the choices were starting to pile up. It was hard though, Angel found fault with most because he could associate something bad with nearly every one. Being around for so long meant there was more chance to associate bad feelings with certain names.

He moved up the bed to sit beside you. He watched you, his brow furrowing. He had been so pleased when you had been so happy to have his child but he worried. You were human and the baby inside was at least part vampire. He didn’t want to cause you any pain. You assured him that if all else failed, there would be some magical back-up plan in place, he smiled and decided to look into that (there was now a plan B, C and D in case anything went wrong) but he still worried about you – he couldn’t help it. He adored you too much.

You moved to wrap your arms around him, whispering soft assurances, the same you always did when his brow furrowed that way and he became stuck in his head. He enjoyed your body heat, the way you warmed him up both with your words and touch.

You stayed this way for a while, with him stroking your exposed skin as you relaxed into each other.

“You should rest, my love” He murmured as you began to shift after a while, realising what time it was. He wanted to spend the entire day in bed with you but you needed to go.

“You know if I miss another one of these things Cordy will begin to realise I’m recycling excuses” You muttered although you did enjoy spending time with her you had wondered how beneficial this particular activity actually was.

Cordy had announced her pregnancy a month after yours, she was so excited that she was going to be a Mom. You had become closer these last months and were very grateful to call her a good friend.

As much as he wanted to say ‘don’t go’ in a pleading way that would definitely make you stay (he could be needy, in the best way craving your affection and touch) he didn’t. He knew this was probably good for the baby and for you, Cordy had given him a magazine article to read about it that he hadn’t got around to yet.

“I have a scan soon I think-” You tailed off as you started to gather up some of your things and switched into a more comfortable outfit for where you were going.

“Three days from now, I told Gunn that he’s handling any apocalypse that happens that day. I’ll be there” He confirmed, he had made sure to keep up to date. He needed everything to go right. Which reminded him, you had been to a doctor’s appointment on your own (there had been an unavoidable near-apocalypse that he had been very annoyed about) and he asked what had been discussed.

“We’re both healthy and where we should be at this point in the pregnancy” You said happily, remembering your encounter with the friendly demon doctor, “As for diet, the doctor isn’t sure if we’re heading towards blood or baby formula so I think to be safe we should stock up on both depending on what baby bat needs”

“Good plan. Are you sure I can’t take you to your thing?”

“I don’t think little one wants a pile of dust for a Dad” You joked with a laugh before stopping abruptly. The idea of him not being around scared you. He was always putting himself at risk. Always fighting to help those in need. He rubbed your shoulder in comfort as he saw your face drop before nodding his assurance. Everything would be okay. You would make it work.

You and Cordy had been to ‘baby yoga’. It was a yoga class for soon-to-be parents. The moves were very gentle and it was supposed to relax you both but you weren’t sure how much help it really was. The hour had finished and you were now walking (or, waddling) down the street with your yoga mats tucked under your arms as Cordy spoke animatedly about how much fun being pregnant was. Apart from the bloating and the stretch marks and a whole person pressing down on your bladder… oh, and the morning sickness.

She did like that people were a lot nicer, moving out of her way on the street and at work both of you were often given the nicer jobs. If you were anyone else you might complain and say that you were both still capable… but I mean, time off from reading through dusty scrolls? Nobody had to ask either of you twice.

“I think I could do pregnancy full-time, y’know? We look so cute!” She gushed. She really was glowing with it, just like you were. It was a blessing in your eyes as much as it was hard work.

“I could do without the… everything” you muttered as the ever-growing list of aches and pains continued, rubbing your lower back slightly with a little wince. It become painful under the weight you were holding on your front. Luckily Angel was very perceptive to your discomfort and would massage you even if you mentioned the slightest ache.

“I know you think it’s a gift too” She smiled, linking her arm with your free one. She could feel your emotions a lot more easily since she had been given her visions, but it was like you were connected over this. Your shared experiences.

You loved that you had a friend in Cordy. She was very sweet and could cheer you up to no end. Sometimes you felt like she was one of the only people that understood. Perhaps she was your platonic soulmate, in a way.

You had no doubt that Angel was of course your true soul mate. You began to turn into the alley that cut across to the smoothie place you always went to after your class, it was Cordy’s favourite. You were stopped in your path, however, as you heard screaming. You both shared a look before rushing towards the danger.

There was a pregnant person, terrified, cowering from a gremlin-like demon with long, thick claws. Both you and Cordy immediately moved your arms to cradle your own tummies. Protecting your babies from the threat the best you could.

“It is not your time… yet” It said, a force pushing you both back so that you couldn’t run in and assist the person you now recognised as the one who had been doing pregnant yoga beside you a moment earlier. You and Cordy were distressed, there was nothing you could do as the demon slashed it’s sharp talons towards them and a bright white light filled the area.

When the light disappeared it was only you and Cordelia left in the alley, both of you still cradling your babies. You returned to the Hotel, explaining what had happened. Angel wasn’t there but yyou had called him on your way back.

Turns out, several people had called up saying their pregnant friends and spouses were either missing or complaining of seeing a strange being in their dreams. Wesley connected them with a specific demon that you couldn’t quite pronounce.

You realised that they were being taken for a reason. A sacrifice.

It made you and Cordy shudder. The screams of your yoga acquaintance were still slicing through you. There was nothing you could have done but you couldn’t help but feel guilty. They had gone and you didn’t know if them of their baby was safe.

As soon as Angel heard he dropped everything to find you. His face was like thunder and nobody could hold him back from reaching you. He was fiercely protective anyway and more so now – he just needed to see that you were safe.

“What happened? Are you okay?” He moved swiftly to your side and directed your chin to face him. He squinted slightly, scanning you closely. You looked shaken but there were no physical injuries.

You nodded softly, wiping a stray tear from you eye before he noticed it. You explained and had begun to realise just how vulnerable you had felt. Angel immediately noticed your shift and moved to stroke your cheek tenderly, his palm resting on your cheek as he leaned in to press his lips to yours.

The kiss was soft but there was an edge to it, his anger at the threat still not lessened, the kiss told you that he was there by your side. That you were his first and now only priority until this threat was removed. All of this was communicated to you by even the slightest movement of his lips against yours. He shouted towards the others, delegating tasks and telling them they needed to put everything they had into this. He wanted them gone.

Angel came up behind you while you were researching, wrapping his arms around your waist before moving over your bump. He did this possessively, not wanting anyone or anything near you except him. He couldn’t lose you. His forehead rested against you as he frowned. He wished to shield you from all forms of harm. The reality hit you both, you would never be able to avoid this kind of thing. There was always a new threat around the corner. All you could do was fight it. Stay together. Promise to find each other on the other side.

It had been a few days of trying to locate the demon. You and Cordy were mostly on reception and someone was always around you both. You hadn’t slept well, you had been restless. You kept having weird dreams but they were the kind that no matter how hard you tried to remember them, the details were harder and harder to recall.

You had a strange feeling one evening. A need for something. You were embarrassed to ask Angel for it and so you shrugged on your coat that you could no longer close and you promised to Gunn, who didn’t want you leaving alone (or Angel might kill him for letting you out of his sight), that you would be on the phone to Cordy the entire time. This was something you had already planned to do, you and Cordy had been talking through everything you could to distract yourselves w=from what you had seen the other day.

You were talking animatedly on the phone as you walked the familiar path into the butchers. It was something you had done for Angel before but today this was for you. This was the closest thing to a craving you had experienced and you decided that you now knew that the baby would not just be drinking baby formula.

As you held the receiver of the cell to muffle your voice from what you were asking the butcher for, you collected the jar of liquid from the man. He eyed you and then your belly strangely and you thanked him, continued speaking to Cordy and left. You turned straight into the side street and downed the sticky red liquid. It was thick and it tasted like pennies but you had needed it.

Blood.

You felt a kick. You immediately put your hand over the spot where your little one had kicked hoping to feel it again no matter the slight discomfort. You smiled as you told Cordy what had just happened, excited to show Angel, but as you turned to leave the alley your smile dropped off your face.

It was same demon you had encountered earlier that week. The same from all those dreams that you could now recall in perfect clarity. He peeled something from his skin that you now recognised as the man that had served you in the butchers. He had been in disguise. In a skin suit. Even that thought alone made you nervous, let alone what was potentially about to happen to you.

You shouted, dropping your cell in shock and turned to try to get away. It was no use though, you weren’t able to move at much pace and the demon easily stopped you and held you still. You whimpered, unable to steel yourself in the way you usually might. You were scared for more than your own safety.

You were stuck in one position, hugging your stomach and trying your best to brace yourself for what was to come. You were suspended in that position for what felt like an eternity, your eyes screwed shut as the demon spoke in it’s own tongue.

However, you hadn’t hidden your location from Cordy as well as you thought you had and she immediately contacted everyone and told them the general direction you had gone in. Angel ran into the alley, following your scent and immediately growled as he saw the scene before him. He ran at the demon, not pausing to collect himself as his face changed into his vampire form. He was fierce in his desire to keep you and the baby safe.

You were so relieved when you saw him. Usually, you would rush to help but whatever the demon had done to you had weakened you immensely. You could barely feel your limbs and you felt like falling asleep on the spot. You could only watch the fight. They traded blows for a while and the demon slashed Angel’s upper arm leaving him groaning in pain but determined to bring double the pain to his opponent.

The demon became distracted and started to walk towards you while Angel was wounded. He wished to see if he could finish his sacrifice by peeling back your skin and taking your baby as an offering. But Angel took the upper hand easily after this, knowing from Wes what the demon intended. His anger was being expressed through his fight. He was shaking with rage, his knuckles white as he curled them into fists. You had never seen him so brutal. He was furious, nothing had ever angered and scared him more than you being in danger this way.

He shouted, knocked the demon to the floor before continuing the attack. The fight in him had tripled and his blows were vicious and excessive. He kept kicking the limp demon long after the threat was no more. But he was angry – he wouldn’t stop until he was sure.

When he turned around his face was still bumpy and he had blue blood splashed across his face from the demon. But this didn’t scare you, this was the man you loved. You rushed towards him, enveloping him in your arms.

He picked you up as if it was the easiest thing in the world, even with the extra weight he could easily lift your weight with his strength. He cradled you against his chest, one hand supported your back and the other under your thighs as he walked the three of you home. To safety.

Now that Angel had killed the demon and sent a warning to any others that may want to inhabit LA, you felt a lot safer. Angel had joined you in bed where you had bundled the blankets around yourself, creating a little nest for you and little one. You had taken to calling them ‘baby bat’ or ‘little one’ while you still considered names. He adjusted closer to you, snaking an arm around you and holding you close.

He had been so scared, so angry with the presence of this demon. Just when everything was starting to go right. Just when the curse he had lived with for so long seemed to be lifting merely by your presence in his life. He swore he would never let you get that close to danger again and he swore the same for your unborn child too.

You were in your shared bed, reading while Angel showered. Your nightmares had ended now the threat had gone and you enjoyed spending this time together. No threat. No drama. Just adoration and quality time.

He entered the room, a towel wrapped around his waist as you admired him from over your book. You reached for him and he easily slid into bed beside you as you put your book on the nightstand.

“I was thinking, Angel… about the name for our little one” You said softly, one hand rubbing your own belly slowly, looking down with a smile before meeting his eyes again.

“Mm?” He asked, the noise and movement wishing you to elaborate as he pressed a kiss to your forehead and leaned back.

“If they’re a boy… Liam. After my champion” You whispered, punctuating your words with a soft kiss. Your eyes shining, something you would insist was the hormones later. You wanted Angel to know, wholeheartedly that you appreciated him. That you adored him and wanted your baby to have the same qualities he had. Brave and courageous. Thoughtful and caring. Someone that would do everything in his power to protect those he loved.

The meaning meant a lot to him, he had told you of his name from a lifetime ago and how he wished he hadn’t had so many regrets. You had held him then and told him what a good man he was. How you were proud to call him yours. Now you proved your words were true. You couldn’t think of any other name that would suit your baby bat any better.

He gasped ever so slightly before nodding his head, he had become overcome by emotion. He couldn’t reply just pressed his lips against your forehead and pressed his hand over yours where it was still resting against your own belly. You explained that the baby had kicked just before the threat appeared, laughing that the baby bat would take after angel in more than name.

He smiled at this. It was true happiness and he was so glad nothing could jeopardise this now. Not his curse, not baby stealing demons, not even Cordy’s yoga class (because it had been disbanded due to low attendance).

He had you both all to himself. Where you felt safe. He just hoped that you knew how lucky he felt.

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twdmusicboxmystery · 2 years ago

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hey just wanted ur points in this. we know that daryl was (is) in love with beth in Still and Alone, but what about Beth? do u think she shared the same feelings? did she fall in love with him too? it'd be nice if u could give ur opinion with some evidences or dialogues from the scenes or stuff. no pressure though :)

I do believe she had feelings for him as well, but I also think she tried to suppress hers.

So, the only really canon evidence we have for her side of things comes from S3. Even though not many people were thinking about them as a couple in S3, if you go back and watch, you can see that they were already setting it up.

I've said this before, but just a quick recap: tptb knew about the Caryl ship even back then. The "wanna screw around" scene with Daryl on Carol on top of the overturned bus in 3x01 was the writers addressing the idea of romance between them and dismissing it. It was like both characters considered it for a minute, but then went, "nah." And ever since, they've just been platonic besties. It's something that ship refuses to acknowledge.

But right after that--RIGHT after; like 5 seconds later--Beth was singing by the fire and Daryl was staring at her. That's very telling for what the writers were going for.

So, in terms of Beth's feelings, all we really have is her conversation with Carol after Daryl left with Merle. I made an edit about it some time ago and how she's crushing on him.

So, this is my opinion about what's up with Beth's feelings about Daryl. It is mostly conjecture, but I've also extrapolated from what we have seen in the show, and what they've told us.

I think Beth did have a crush on Daryl. I even have a head canon where maybe she was slightly afraid of him at first. I mean, back when he first showed up at Hershel's farm in S2. Because he has the look of a scary biker dude, and Beth was raised to be a wholesome country girl.

But Beth also has a talent for seeing people's best traits. After being on the road with Rick's group for a year, she recognized that Daryl is actually kind and loyal and gentle and all the things we know and love about Daryl. One thing that's not in my edit above is that she tells Carol the group is weak without him. So, she also recognized that he was a major survival asset for them.

So, I think she did have a crush on him, but she never truly believed he would return those feelings. Like, she thought her own feelings were just a schoolgirl crush, and that Daryl would never see her that way. She saw herself as weak, younger than him, and not his equal.

And that was true to a certain extent (though not in a negative way) at first, back in S2. She really did need to be protected back then, and Daryl wouldn't have thought of her in any way other than another member of the group and Hershel's daughter.

But there's a natural progression to things in life, and by S4, that clearly began to change. Drastically. They had their hug in 4x01, which resulted in a moment of sexual tension. And boy, those moments sure can change the nature of a person's reality, can't they. (Sorry; was totally watching Westworld last night. ;D).

And then of course we had the beautiful Bethyl journey of 4b, where they connected and got to know another on a soul level.

The last thing I want to point to is something that was said in the Daryl Origins episode. We had that moment where he said that during the "oh" moment, Daryl believed he'd read her incorrectly. That was confirmation that Daryl had feelings for Beth, and that IS what he was attempting to convey in that moment (of course we already knew that, both from the episode itself and from the character bios that AMC posted saying as much back after S4, and then quickly deleted, but this was just another confirmation of it) but when Beth showed surprise, he thought she didn't feel the same way.

I believe they included that in the Origins episode, not ONLY to confirm Daryl's feelings for her, but to draw attention to what hers might have been.

Clearly she was surprised to learn how he felt about her, but I don't think she was at all opposed to it. I think she was just shocked because she truly never thought he could come to see her that way.

It's also clear to me that Beth did want to be close to him emotionally. I truly don't think she was ever pursuing him romantically. She just admired him, secretly crushed on him from afar, but had resigned herself that he'd never feel the same way. But she still wanted to be close to him, even if just platonically. That's why she hugged him in 4x01, and why she tried so hard to draw him out emotionally in 4b.

And she kind of achieved that much. We see her being happy in Alone because they had become close. They were comfortable together, and she was learning to survive, and that made her happy. (We also see Daryl looking happy in Alone, but for other reasons. ;D)

So then, when he reveal his feelings, it truly shocked her, because she didn't expect it. And of course then the shit hits the fan, and she doesn't really get a chance to say much, other than, "Oh," which is eternally ambiguous. (Damnit, Gimple! Give us more!)

But think of it this way:

Think about the way stories are always written. Something is hinted at ONLY if it's eventually going to be fulfilled. So, if Daryl and Rick tell Michonne not to go to Macon, because it might be too dangerous, eventually someone in the group is going to end up at Macon and face some danger. (That's where Terminus was.)

If Eugene and Rosita stumble across a bizarre group dressed as walkers who whisper to one another, and then return home, tell everyone, and just *hope* they won't run into that group again, clearly, they're going to run into that group again.

It's true in other stories too. If the Beast tells Belle to stay out of the West Wing, where is she eventually going to go? You get the picture.

So, if they went out of their way to tell us that Daryl had feelings for Beth, but HE didn't think she returned them...

I'll just let you finish that sentence.

So, there's my theory and what little evidence we have from AMC and the show for how Daryl felt about Beth. But I do think it's fairly compelling evidence.

This is why I still think what Gimple told Larry King before S5 remains true: that eventually Daryl will find true love in the apocalypse. He already found it. They set it up that way. Now, he's just waiting for her return.

Thanks Nonny! Xoxo! 🔥😎😘

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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smallhorizons · 3 years ago

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Osiris has anyone asked you about the TMA Self Indulgent Time Travel AU yet???

Hehe, they have not!! Thank you for sending an ask :D

TMA Self Indulgent Time Travel AU

So, the self-indulgent time travel AU actually started while S4 was ongoing and we still thought the Extinction was a viable threat. I was like "hey what if Elias is going to do a last-minute Watcher's Crown ritual to try to beat out the Extinction, except the ritual triggers the Extinction's emergence? And Jon is at the center of everything so he's able to rewind time in some way? Except since he just "drowned" in the ritual (a la his quote about if he opens the door in his head, he'll drown), he doesn't go back in time with all his memories: Just a vague notion of what is going to happen, the bare bones and a few specific details which are more sense memories than actual awareness."

Here's an excerpt, from when Jon has just successfully crash-landed back in his body the day that he received the webbed lighter, and is utterly out of it:

“ -- me? Oh, my God, please wake up.”

-- and now there is Martin Blackwood, face looming, very close. He is flushed red, looks to be on the verge of tears. Something deep in the Archive itches. It doesn’t like that this person is upset. It doesn’t like that it doesn’t know why it doesn’t like Martin Blackwood being upset.

“Oh, thank Christ,” Martin gasps. He begins to babble, words tumbling over one another on their way out. “Jon, I am so, so sorry, I didn’t realize you were there--God, I’m an idiot--Are, are you okay? Tim went to get help and, and Sasha is calling an ambulance, she had to go upstairs, there’s no signal down here--well, you know that--I--” and then he takes several deep, quick breaths, and holds the last one, squeezing his eyes tight. The Archive takes the opportunity to count the freckles on Martin’s eyelids, even though it already Knows there are three on the left and four on the right. It is pleasantly surprised, if it can feel such a thing as surprise, pleasantly or otherwise, that this is unfolding so slowly, moments trickling into one another rather occurring all at once, and then never, and then again. It likes looking at Martin Blackwood.

When Martin opens his eyes again, he looks calmer, but also increasingly worried. “Jon?” he says tentatively. “You - You haven’t said anything.”

The Archive doesn’t say anything, because it is not a thing that acts, only is acted upon, and when it continues to not say anything, and when it feels the seconds continue to unspool at the same steady pace as before, and when it realizes that it doesn’t remember this, the Archive draws in a sharp and ragged breath. He has to take a moment to think, but his mind is static. His thoughts, so used to a sideways, upside-down, fractal world, dissipate. He shifts, very slightly. He curls his fingers. He has a body again. He blinks up at the ceiling - up at the ceiling? He is starting to realize he is flat on his back on the floor of the Place-Archives, the Outside-Itself Archives. The cold of the stone floor is starting to seep through his shirt. Martin is kneeling next to him, hands on his shoulders. He is bone-white beneath his freckles. The fear rolling off of him makes the Archivist shiver in something like unease, or like hunger.

The Archivist knows how human bodies work, and why they work, so it is frustrating that it takes him so long to remember how to speak. “Why.” He stops. His throat aches like he’s been screaming. “Why am I on the floor?”

Send me one of my WIP titles and I'll tell you about it!

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #osiris writes

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twin-books · 3 years ago

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👀 plagg (or all kwami, if there's not a lot to say abt him)

Thanks for the ask, anon! And I'm glad you said all the other kwamis so I can knock those all out. But firstly let's just talk Plagg. I still love Plagg. He's my favorite kwami to draw and I very much love cats but I also have my own little black cat. Hilariously, she also tries to eat everything in sight and is obsessed with dairy products. Ironically not cheese. (I am also pretty sure she has a crush on Chat Noir. Shh... don't tell her he's just a human kid in a cat costume). Anyway, so yes, I'm a bit bias. But also he actually helps his kid and when he doesn't it isn't wildly out of character like it is with Tikki. He's also funny which is super great. Also, let's take a moment to appreciate his English VA specifically because that guy goes hard when he voices characters. Max Mittleton is a gift, a treasure. Anyway, he's fun. And his friendship with Adrien is to die for. He also tends to be the character that basically speaks for the audience and I love those characters. XD He's a stupidly adorable, irresponsible but loving, little kitty who I adore. I hated what they did to him in the NY Special because Plagg was pretty much the only character improving and they just went and threw that all away but now in s4 they love to act like that never happened but I remember... :' D So, since there's 19 kwamis (20 if you count Liiri 21 if you count that one kwami in Shanghai which I don't because I didn't get to know them), I'll be rating each kwami out of 20. So Plagg gets a 19/20. Not perfect but I still love the little man. Now let's talk about the other kwamis... You could probably hear me sighing from here. Tikki used to be my favorite kwami (next to Nooroo) but I don't care for her at all now. Especially after Dearest Family. She's now extremely unhelpful, encourages Marinette's bad choices, and apparently can't control herself at all when she gets hangry. Also, yet another adult figure in Marinette's life who has the downfall of hangry for some dumb reason. She's also no longer any fun to draw anymore because I cannot figure out how to properly draw her and make her look more like a ladybug while still keeping the show's style. Still, I hold season 1 Tikki very close to my heart and she's at least not stupidly annoying so... 10/20. Nooroo. I freaking hate his English voice. I don't remember his French one if I ever heard it but hopefully it's better? He also deserved antennas and prettier wings. Anyway, I know he technically hasn't gotten much focus but I do still really like him. Despite his kind of ugly design I still got a stuffed Nooroo and a Nooroo keychain as well as that huge Nooroo sticker. I really like Nooroo. He's kind of my favorite kwami and I feel very bad for him (especially since in the future he is still subjected to the same dumb, horrible fate because I guess the writers hate him :' D). But despite he's my favorite, Plagg is still obviously better so it wouldn't be fair to rate him above Plagg... 15/20. Wayzz was ruined just like Tikki. I miss season 1 Wayzz so much. He's honestly just a 9/20 because his supremely stupid decision to crawl on the ground to try and see Master Fu still makes me laugh at how dumb it was. He's annoying now like most of the kwamis. His dumb little antenna still annoys the heck out of me too because it in no way relates to a turtle and you can't even argue it's a kwami thing since some of the kwamis still don't have those things. Plus his is absurdly thick compared to the others... but he looks so dumb when you draw him without it and that drives me insane. Trixx is okay. 10/20 for them as well. They're freaking annoying but they look better than Wayzz and Nooroo and they're still kind of fun to watch. Plus, Trixx's relationship with Alya I hold very close to my heart. Pollen has no personality really and I actually preferred her concept where she didn't really have pupils or irises. I liked it so much I can only remember her like that even though she's not like that. She also got very annoying like the rest of the kwamis. 5/20 for probably being one of the

least annoying ones... Dusuu is super cute. Haven't seen much of him but he's super precious. (I call the kwamis by the gender I was kind of introduced to them as even if it wasn't the majority choice except Dusuu who I just think should be male because he's designed after a male peacock. Yes, the English dub made me very bitter. I really like animals. XD) I feel super bad for him too and I find him a bit more fun than Nooroo (sadly). I also like that he shifts emotions so drastically. Also his design is perfect and I love drawing him (though I do wish the bird kwamis got like real wings but I know that's hard in CGI so I won't blame them. I also tend to dial up his design a bit by giving him eyelash dots because I can). 17/20. Fluff was fun upon their first introduction. I was also partial to them because of the pastel blue and the time travel. And when I was a child bunnies used to be my favorite animal. I like drawing them with a Wonderlandiful kind of vibe (yes I stole that word from Ever After High and no I'm not sorry). As much as I'm not really a huge fan of the bunny being so heavily modeled after the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland (especially since that was arguably the more down to earth character compared to the rest of them) I still can't say I hate it. They're super fun to draw. Stupidly annoying now though. 9/20. Xuppu is okay? I barely really got to know him. I really need to rewatch Party Crasher in English to truly get it. He's stupidly annoying now though and I really don't like monkeys and apes all that much... I actually have a fear of apes and so that has kind of turned me away from monkeys too, to the point I kind of got them mixed up because my fear made me not really educate myself on that whole animal family. But he's super cute at least and I think kind of funny? Still, s4 really ruined the kwamis for me so... 5/20. Kaalki is a cool idea but I'm afraid I'm just not a fan of the whole pompous thing. I also think it's supremely weird she didn't go to like Chloe or Lila or something? I give them props for trying. Too bad she was ruined in s4 too. 5/20. Mullo had no real personality, or nothing I can remember. They also just became annoying in season 4 but they're at least kind of cute. 1/20. Sass was kind of fun. I find him to be chaotic evil and hilarious. I also kind of like his design. S4 almost ruined him but then went back and made him a tad better again so he gets to sit in 10/20 with Tikki. Longg is pretty much the same as Mullo but I like his design a bit less. I also think something went wrong with his CGI model? Props for finally being a kwami that's actually opposite the gender of his holder in the English dub. 1/20. Liiri means nothing to me but I can at least appreciate she has a decent design where she actually looks like her animal and was kind of cute. 1/20. Alright, as for the rest of them... they supremely annoy me. I can't believe they ruined the kwamis for me. I used to adore those little guys. RIP my love for the kwamis. -20/20 for all of them. I wish Marinette kept them locked in the box since that makes infinitely more sense especially since they all love to be absolute toddlers who disobey her and screw her over constantly. Also, the rooster looks more like a goldfish. There, now you can't unsee it. Thanks for the ask, anon. Hopefully that was an okay answer. I hope you're having a wonderful day, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever time it is where you are. <3 Send Me a Miraculous Character

#ml salt #kwami salt #tikki salt #plagg sugar #i love Nooroo so much #rip kwamis being likable #what a bunch of tiny jerks #ask me anything #anon ask #send me a miraculous character #my opinion #opinion #TB's opinion #ml spoilers #just in case #the rooster is actually a goldfish and you can't change my mind #ask meme #I literally have no idea why it did that separate paragraph thing at the end of my bit of Pollen #but it's annoying the heck out of me and I can't freaking fix it.

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lunaekalenda · 4 years ago

Note

hi!! can i ask for either an eren or porco x reader fic where their titan form saves you from nearly dying during a battle and they get mad at you afterwards because they’re obviously not gonna be there all the time then when you apologize they end up breaking down because their afraid of losing you and it just ends in fluff 👉🏻👈🏻

OMG OMG wait this is gold!! that was a really good plot!! i had a hard time deciding, but i'm more into porco lately, so this time i'll be using him for my first fic! i hope you like it and sorry for the errors or the things that were different to the original ask :( (*´-`) this takes place in one of the battles Marley fights against another enemy, but I will not follow the line of the original manga :D (also thanks to @breathes24 for refreshing my memory :D)

𝔰𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔶𝔬𝔲

❁ porco x reader

❁ mention of blood and battle, mention of the extraction of a bullet, bad talking. shingeki s4 spoilers!

The only thing you could hear were shots. You kept running, your feet hurted and the backpack was really heavy. Running in the middle of the battlefield was a suicide mission, you knew it, but you were not going to leave all in Pieck's and Porco's hands. So, trying to avoid the shots, you keep runing. You can see Pieck's bag shooting and Porco running from one machine to another, trying to break them with his hardened claws. You look around, the corpses of your companions scattered across the field, along with some enemies. You try to concentrate in what you’re trying to do. The kids are safe in the trench, and you’re not a soldier of valor, you only have nursing knowledge, useless for the fight.

That’s why the commander has not hesitated to send you as a distraction.

“If you expose yourself as an easy target, they will probably have to divide their attention between them and you. Also, they know there are nine Changing Titans, but they don’t know exactly how many of them we have. They could think you’re one of them. That will make Zeke’s appearance more unexpected for them, you see?”

"Where the hell is Zeke?" you think. He should be here helping, a lot of eldians have died. a scream is heard and you identify it as a Titan's one. Pieck received a shot on her hand. She's losing her strength little by little. Porco keeps fighting, and Pieck’s support soldiers do a great job mastering the cannons, trying to hit the enemies. Reiner is trying to stop their train.

"Just wait a bit, guys. I'm almost there..." you enter the enemy side of the field. Your trench looks empty, because your army blindly believes in titans. But, like humans, their stamina is limited, and transforming takes a great deal of energy.

"There's one of them!!" someone yells in front of you. "She could be the Beast Titan, kill her before she reaches the other two!" all the soldiers can be heard loading their shotguns.

The first shot impacts on the floor. The second, near you. You just have an option: keep running, faster.

You accelerate the step to the front, where big war machines are searching you. From the trench, a lot of soldiers are trying to kill you, failing due to the poor visibility they have, but it's a matter of time before those who run the tanks finds you.

This is the end.

The shots are every time more precise, but you can’t return and leave them alone, waiting for Zeke to make his appearance.

You have no scape.

You close your eyes, accepting the destiny, while you keep running. You can hear them charging their big machines. They found you.

You’re their target now.

A Titan's scream is heard, right before the order of the enemy captain.

"Fire!"

You open your eyes when a shot impacts on your leg, and you watch how they charge the canons, ready to kill you. Now you have zero scape way, you’re hurt and you can’t move.

Suddenly, the Jaw Titan appears and, opening his mouth, picks you up off the ground, locking you in his hardened jaw. His speed of movement allows him to easily dodge all shots.

"Thanks, Pock."

A tremor and the sound of lightning tells that Zeke has already arrived to help.

He keeps runing, and then all you can hear are rocks hitting people, trains and houses. Zeke’s titan may be slow for running, but his pitches are deadly. Your leg hurts where the bullet went through, and the pants you’re using are covered with blood.

“Just leave me here and return. I don’t want them to lose because of me.”

He ignored what you said and kept running, but slowing down. Probably he’s tired, he has been fighting for hours.

Once you two are far enough from the battlefield, Porco turns right and you recognize the path he has been taking. We’re close to the residence. He opens his mouth and you go down to the floor, but your leg complains of the roughness of the movement. Then, his Titan falls, and he appears behind it. He seems angry.

"What the hell were you doing there?" he says. His Titan is steaming.

"I wanted to help you, you were doing all the work... The commander told me to help and I thought it was a good idea." Porco looks at you without saying anything for a minute. Then, he sighs and looks at your bleeding leg, before coming towards you. His arm slips under your knees carefully, and the other rests on your back, before he lifts you. “I can walk, you don’t have to...”

“You have a fucking bullet inside, just take help for one damn time.” You decided to shut up and he enters the residence. “I have some medical stuff in my room, I’ll take you there.” He starts to walk up the stairs, heading to his room. There are a few doctors on their daily check of the injured soldiers that live here. He opens his door using his foot, and he enters. His room is clean and clear. Natural light comes in through the window, and a bedside lamp lights up the corner of hi bed. He leaves you in the bed before walking to his personal bathroom, from where he takes a medicine cabinet. Porco drags a chair to place it near the bed, making him able to treat your leg. He hasn’t talk since we arrived here, but he keeps frowning.

“We didn’t need help” He says after cutting your pants at the height of the wound. Then, Porco opens the medicine cabinet, and takes out thread, needle and some surgical tweezers. The scalpel glows when he pulls it out.

“Maybe this hurts a bit.” He whispers. He prepares also a towel with some water. “Grab that pillow and use it to muffle your screams.” You do what he said, and you put his pillow on your face. It smells like him, and it comforts you a lot. He works fast, moving his fingers with precision, and extracting the bullet without problem. Once he’s finished, he saves everything back in place and offers you a glass of water. You’re dizzy from the pain and you needed to drink, so you thank him and drink.

“Do it slow or you’ll be feeling worst, idiot.” he scolds tou. You drink it slower and you take a breath once you’re finished.

“Thanks” He puts the glass on the table he has as a desk.

“Well, I...”

“You could have died out there” he says. He’s not looking at you, and runs his hand through his hair. “You were about to die.”

“Thanks for that, you saved me”

“I’m not going to last forever, you know? Someday I’ll die, and I’m not going to be there to save you like all the other times. So start thinking about surviving and stop playing the heroine.”

“Sorry?”

Why was he so pissed off? You didn’t ask for his help.

“I don't have to take care of you every time we go out onto the battlefield”

“Stop doing it, then”

“It's called companionship, but it only works if everyone focuses on surviving and not in saving stupid death-hugging soldiers”

“I never asked you to save me.” The words come out on their own before you could stop them. That was very rude, you’re ungrateful. He looks at you in the eyes, but you can't tell how he feels.

“Cool, next time I'll take care of my business and let you die, if that’s what you want.”

He’s hurt. You hurt him because you were getting nervous.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean anything that I said. I was getting anxious...”

He sighs. “I also talked badly to you.”

“But you’re right. I can’t survive by myself.”

“I didn’t mean to say that.” His voice is losing strength, and his gaze is lowered. “It’s just... I thought that today I was losing you, I was not going to be able to arrive on time” his voice breaks while he talks. “I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you”

You looked at him surprised. “To me? Who cares about me? Maybe it’s because we trained together since kids.” You think for yourself, before speaking.

“Well, I know you care for all of us, but Pock yo...”

“You’re not getting it.” He says. Then he leans over to the bed. “I care for you. I care a lot. I can’t imagine if something bad happens to you. I’m always near in case I have to help you. I can only thing about your wellness.” His brown eyes are fixed on yours. “Please, don’t do that again.” His eyes are getting wet. “Just the idea of losing you terrifies me.” His hand sits on your back, and draws you to him. You’re speechless.

You have always been interested in Porco. When you first met him, you thought he was really handsome, and his personality made you think of him as unattainable. You two have been training together since kids. He was really good in all skills, and you were really bad. He helped you a couple times, but you ended in the nursery school. You started to lose contact, but then he inherited the Jaw Titan and wasn’t sent to Paradis, so you both coincide again. He is a man now, even more attractive than before, but with a somewhat shocking personality. So listen him saying this things makes your heart shudder.

“Pock, I...”

“I like you. Well, I think this is no more just attraction.” he whispers. “I guess I’m in love with you.”

That hit you like a train. His love for you was behind all the times he saved you, the times he helped you and the times he reprimanded you. He was moved by love, genuine concern.

“Are you crying?” he separates you from his body to look at your face. Tears roll down your cheeks fast. Porco places his hands on both sides of your face, dabbing them dry with his thumbs. Your hands are placed on top of his, and you lean your head towards his touch.

“I also love you, Pock” he smiles before kissing your forehead. “Since we were kids”

“You know that if you had said it before, I would have corresponded long ago” you laugh quietly, his thumbs tracing circles on your skin. “I can’t promise you a long life together, but if you accept the little that I can offer, I’ll be delighted to be with you.”

His lips place a soft kiss on your hair and you hug him.

“I will be happy to be with you, Pock.”

The room was silent, and you could only listen to his heartbeat, slow, because he has you on his arms, alive. You look at him, his handsome face looking you.

“Does that mean I can ask you to going out later” he laughs.

“I just took out a bullet from your leg, you have to rest.” you smirk.

“I live in the other part of the city. I can’t walk.”

“I’ll call a horse cart for you.”

He was having fun, dodging every possible way to spend time together that night.

“What if my leg hurts? I live alone.” you tried and, for your surprise, he smiled.

“Then I guess you need someone to take care of you tonight...”

His lips covered yours sweetly, and you thought you could get used to it.

To him.

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years ago

Text

Top 5 Most Hated Characters

As y’all can see, this week’s T5F is a request sent in by anon. I picked it because I guess at the time I thought it would be fun to explore some of TWDG’s least popular, and most hated, characters while also taking into account characters that I can’t stand.

These are characters that the vast majority of us don’t like or downright despise for many different reasons. None of us are going out of our ways to defend most of these bastards, and anyone who is I get the impression they’re doing so for the sake of being Different™... though while looking around for info about these characters and what people were saying about them, I did find myself in some odd places.... come across, eh... odd fanart.

But I guess this is the part where I say this is all in good fun and if you happen to be a legit stan of any of these people, that’s cool. Maybe you can answer some of my questions as to why??

5. Nate

Okay, when I said that I found myself in odd places, it turns out that Nate actually has a bit of a fanbase. It’s not big or anything, from what I can tell, but big enough for me to question why because I was under the impression that we all agreed that this dude sucks.

Seriously, I would’ve put him higher on this list if I hadn’t discovered this handful of people making fanart for him and claiming him as a comfort character. While I find that an odd choice, you do whatever makes you feel comforted, y’know? Just would like to understand why.

As for the rest of us, he’s terrible. Every time I go back to 400 days, he’s someone I never look forward to seeing. I’ve even tried not getting in the truck with him while playing Russell’s story, but in true Telltale fashion, you’re forced to drive along with this creep.

Red flags start going off when Russell’s sharing his story about his previous group, something you can tell left some trauma with him, and Nate is just weirdly fixated on the girl Russell liked. Like yeah okay dude, I get it, it’s the apocalypse and you haven’t had any action for a while but oh my god.

Then the whole walker thing that almost gets Russell chomped is annoying. Oh, and how could I forget about how it’s implied that he attacked the old couple before and was there to finish them off, which he does no matter what and it’s not great.

Hell, he even uses the line Russell gave him but it’s worse because crazy eyes. And if you don’t say anything, Nate murders them right there without a thought and then continues to be a real creep. Fuck this guy.

As the wise Eddie once said, “I don’t what that guy in my life, man!”

4. The Stranger

Hey, have I ever mentioned how much this dude sucks?

I don’t even have to tell you why he’s on this list. We all know the obvious reasons-- manipulated and kidnapped Clementine, which caused Lee to get bit by a walker and fucking die. No one here is white-knighting for this dipshit.

Sure, it sucks what the Stranger went through. He lost his family and that would be enough to drive anyone up the wall. I mean, just look at Kenny. But this dude, okay. Look. Listen. I can only feel so bad for you when you lost your son on a hunting trip that your wife told you not to go on, then when you went looking for him, you literally left the car unlocked and running for anyone to come across. Then you come back and gasp. So your wife leaves you for being a moron... then when you find her dead, you cut off her head and keep it like a damn bowling ball because...??

At least that’s what I get from it. The writers probably should’ve done a better job with explaining what the hell happened but y’know.

That’s not the only reason no one likes this guy. Oh no, you also add to the pile that the Stranger himself is dull. As a character, the dude is just.... boring. And I get that’s probably what they were going for with the whole “I’m just a guy, but you ruined my life and made me this way.”

However, when you set him up the way you did with the talks over the walkie and the stalking, I was expecting a bit more personality outta this loaf of soggy bread. But no... boring yet crazy. Interesting combo and I’m afraid it doesn’t work.

3. Larry

Larry?? On a list of most hated characters?? Nooo...

Yeah, surprise. Larry also sucks. Stop the presses.

Larry is a pain in the ass to deal with for two episodes, constantly belittling the people around him and treating his daughter like shit. Oh, and don’t forget how he behaves towards Lee even if you try to be as nice as possible. Nope, he doesn’t care, he still thinks Lee is garbage and will continue threatening to reveal Lee’s secret to the group. Who cares if that could fuck up the dynamic and endanger the group? Larry sure doesn’t.

Until the very end, this dude is just a splinter in the foot. By the time you get to the meat locker and he has a heart attack, you’re not gonna save him because you think he’ll be better if he survives. No, you’re attempting to save him for Lilly and Clementine’s sake, and if you don’t even care about that, you siding with Mr. Family Man to smash his head in.

Not only is he a soiled diaper, he also don’t have much personality outside of asshole. He has maybe two moments where he’s shown to be just a bit chill? I mean, Lilly tells us that he has a lot of pain and that’s why he’s like this.... but that doesn’t excuse his behavior.

Oh, and can’t forget that apparently he was obsessed with Lilly leaving the lights on so he let the power get cut, so Lilly couldn’t eat ice cream and had to let her hair air dry like a heathen. Unforgivable.

So yeah, fuck Larry.

2. Troy

Ugh, Troy. Fuck this guy.

No really, out of all TWDG characters, this dude and my #1 pick are my most hated. Can’t stand Troy and the only reason I didn’t do a tie for #1 is because for a split second, Troy does show a tiny bit of humanity when Carver is beating down Carver, but blink and you’ll miss it.

Which had me a little concerned to find a handful of posts about having crushes on Troy and drawing fanart but.... again, I guess you do you? And if you can, please explain why because I honestly don’t understand.

Just looking at the screenshot of him annoys him. He’s got one of those punchable faces, y’know?

Anyway, when playing as Clementine, I’m always worried that he’s gonna pop up outta no where and grab her by the neck like he does later in ep3, even though I’ve played s2 a bunch to know that he’s not going to.

But hell, he doesn’t need any excuse to smack anyone around, and there are a handful of times he can really hurt Clem depending on her choices.

Not great, dude.

Can’t say I’m too sorry that Jane shot your dick off.

1. Badger

Yeah, you guys remember Badger. Y’know.... the man who murdered Mariana then laughed about it, claiming that he enjoyed watching her head explode and would do it again and again if he could?

That’s what puts him at #1. He may not have the most screen time like Larry or Troy, but when he is around, he’s fucking awful.

He gets joy from killing Mariana, like it’s some sort of sick thrill for him to go around murdering children and other innocent people.

Remember Francine? Caught her and used her as bait to try and get Javi to come down, and even went as far as to have some fingers cut off. Like, he gets off on destroying people, entire communities.

Shit, he seems to even get off to his own beat down.

He’s fucking gross and outta everyone on this list, I haven’t found a single person being like “Yeah, he’s garbage but I like him kinda?” like no, you’re such garbage that even the Different™ crowd don’t want you.

Fuck Badger.

By the way, if you’ve never had Conrad kill him in your game, I suggest looking it up. It’s pretty good. Gives Conrad a little bit of closure after what happened to Francine, as well as give Javi some closure for Mari’s murder.

Not a single soul wept for you, Badger.

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Dishonorable Mentions

-Joan. She’s boring, forgettable, and no one is out here gushing over her because most of the time, we can’t even remember her name. -Danny from Vince’s story in 400 Days. Y’know, the dude going to prison because he was convicted of SA. I’ll never understand why people go with him over Justin. Justin sucks, too, but not the same level Danny does. -Lilly in S4. Ugh. That’s a whole other topic for another day. -Arvo, though I guess he has a bit of a following, too

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Well there ya go. Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices for this list? Or have anything to add? I’m always down to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

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Next week’s T5F Top 5 BROTPs

#twdg t5f #twdg clementine #twdg lee #twdg kenny #twdg lilly #twdg larry #twdg jane #twdg troy #twdg russell #twdg nate #twdg aj #twdg #twdg joan #twdg danny #twdg arvo #twdg conrad #twdg javi #twdg mariana #twdg badger

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kaypeace21 · 4 years ago

Note

do you think it’s possible sarah (hoppers daughter) was an early-formed alter that went dormant before the events of season one? it’d make a lot of sense with how much of hoppers arc in season one was him mourning her and channeling that grief into protecting will (which would make sense since he seems like a protecter to both will and el). love your posts!☺️

Yep . :D

I already discussed all of this in the original did post - how sarah was a “little” (kid ) alter. And how hopper was a protector /introject alter. I also discussed her going dormant as a major possibility in my did theory. My assumption is she either (a) “became dormant” like some alters do- aka they are “gone” sometimes for many years but can return . And this can happen in a myriad of ways - sometimes alters go dormant after they had a simulated death in the inner world . theoretically sarah had such a Death. And so did El. Death isn’t really a permanent thing for alters ...they usually will come back or stay dormant - unless the body of the host dies (or they integrate) . They can’t really die . I think it’s very possible she comes back and Hopper while exploring the various innerworlds of Will’s minds (like the Russian one, the memory scapes , etc ) reunites/ finds her . look at the st s4 movie inspirations. In ‘what dreams may come” a guy with the guidance of his dead kid explore a heaven like world influenced by a painter’s emotions.We also have the movie ‘inside out’ -which involves “memory islands” (distinct worlds based on a child’s memories) which are influenced negatively by the kid being depressed she moved to California. The characters traveling to these memory islands are constructs of kid’s mind -and 1 of them also has a guide helping them explore the ‘memory islands’. in Inception a guy says he’s a construct of a guy’s mind and needs to help him escape the many different Ievels of the dream worlds.The in inception who made the worlds- had dad issues. 'the cell’also had alternate dimensions of a man's mind that a cop explored ( the dimensions were created by a man who was ab*sed by his dad). Movies like inception, matrix, Truman show, total recall, the cell, enter the void, wizard of oz, Peter Pan, hellraiser 2, dream warriors, bill & ted’s bogus journey, and welcome to marwen also allude to this: because they involve entering simulated abstract worlds usually created/based on happy& traumatic memories/fears.Cough s4 using the movie wizard of oz quote “we’re not in Hawkins (kansas) anymore.While truman show/matrix are more about realizing your reality isn’t real.in bladerunner 2044/total recall it has the theme of false implanted memories… probably relating to hopper realizing he’s an alter and not in “actual Russia.” Before seeing the other segments of the innerworlds with sarah. Like in total recall- the bad ass spy is told all his memories: his wife/ years of marriage, , his name, are just implanted memories. And she says “you’re life is a dream.”

In s2 Nancy asks Steve how his “grandpa’s time in the war is a metaphor for your life?” And steve compares the mf to the germans in the war. Dr owens mentions Will has ptsd like “ (vietnam) soldiers’, Hopper saying he had buddies like Will . “In the 70s there was a study that compared the post-traumatic stress symptoms in Vietnam veterans and adult survivors of childhood s**ual ab*se. The study revealed that childhood s**ual ab*se is traumatizing and can result in symptoms comparable to symptoms from war-related trauma.” Hopper isn’t actually in Russia -but in one of the innerworlds (after he jumped through the rift of the machine- into Will’s mind). We’ll see flashbacks but also present circumstances of his imprisonment echo Will’s past with Lonnie (if the movies indicate anything)- being starved, guards getting payed in order to let other prisoners r*pe a gay prisoner (than claim incorrectly because of his sexuality he wanted it) , as well as a gang of sadist men who r**e others and a warden using that as a threat to be compliant , being thrown in a dark room of solitary confinement and starved when they didn’t obey the warden, the warden being religious, etc. And the Anerican soldiers (in Vietnam) in the movies aren’t much better and do similarly horrific acts to civilians like r**e and bragging/ happily k*lling women, children, and the elderly. The drill sergant in vietnam calling them homophobic slurs & women, and chocking one of the soldiers with one hand, slapping one for not believing in christianity. Tying up a soldier in a bed , gagging him, beating him and saying “remember it’s just a dream.” Only praising them when good in fire arms.(movies : fullmetal jacket, papillon, shawshank redemption, platoon, welcome to marwen, etc ) . My assumption is flashbacks of his life- will hint he’s an alter of Will’s-the boxes in the basement are “vietnam” ,“dad”, and “ny” (and these are the memories of his we’ll see). And some of the bad characters in said stories will also parallel Lonnie . For instance in s2, Jonathan mentions Indiana writer Vonnegut- In his book ‘slaughterhouse 5′- Vonnegut begins the story of Billy Pilgrim, a man who has “come unstuck in time”. It accounts of Billy Pilgrim's capture and incarceration by the Germans during the last years of World War II, and scattered throughout the narrative are episodes from Billy's life with his dad, and his own wife and kids.Billy is forced to be part of the war and similar things against his free will. The moments start from his childhood when his father throws him in the water to teach him how to swim. He was unwillingly drafted into the war. Later, he is kidnapped by Tralfamadorians (aliens that are implied to be caused by his mental health issues/trauma) against his will. Therefore, he realizes that this concept is just an illusion.

And some of the bad characters in said stories will also parallel Lonnie . Like how in ‘peterpan’- the young girl Wendy imagines netherland and the villain -captain hook- is based off her father ( in the movie they have the same voice actors/while in all stage productions the 2 characters are always played by the same actor). Similar to the other s4 film- ‘wizard of oz’ where the wicked witch of th west from the mythical land of Oz (is played by Dorothy’s real life mean neighbor in the real world/kansas). Or ‘in the cell’- every villain from the alternate-mind- dimensions is played by same actor in diff makeup. Not sure if they’d use Ross Patridge (actor of Lonnie) in this way . But it would be very interesting if (In makeup) Ross played many negative people in Hopper’s life/past -as a way to show Will’s past tr*uma.

Like also-look at Sarah’s tiger plushie! In chinese mythology/culture: “The tiger is personified by the constellation Orion (interesting given Sara’s interest in space/blackholes). The tiger represents protection over human life (hmm?). Tiger charms were used to keep away evil and disease (that’s awful ironic if she died in the manner she did). In Buddhism, wearing tiger skins during meditations was believed to bring protection from spiritual interference and potential harm while exploring astral dimensions.” HMMMMMMMMM XD

Kali in the stranger things novel ‘Suspicious Minds’ says…

“I was named after a goddess. She wore a tiger skin and was fierce in battle.”

Then Kali says to Alice (a women who can see future visions): “I love you, Alice. We can be tigers together.”This parallel (in relation to Alice) is fascinating because Kali actually uses her powers to fake Alice’s death- and to trick Dr. Brenner, and allow Alice to escape. The allusion was so realistic, that Terry could even touch the ‘dead’ Alice.

So the tiger symbolism could be a HUGE hint- that Sarah’s death was simulated and she’ll come back and travel the innerworlds/alternate dimensions of Will’s mind (as Hopper’s guide). Hopper about sarah “galaxies the universe-she always understood that stuff.”

Another possibility (theory b) is she integrated with another alter or with Will (which means she can’t return) .Hopper saying about Sarah “the black hole it got her.” Could imply she integrated with the mf/shadow monster? And ,or maybe she will later ?

But... I lean heavily to theory (a) the most , though.

Obviously sarah has a lot of the connections to Will. will and Sarah both being into science, Sarah winning a spelling bee, Will winning the science fair, both being connected to tigers. Both hallucinating something no one else can see and people trying to snap the 2 out of what they’re viewing. Joyce saying as a witch she’ll eat Will. Parallels Hopper saying as an ogre he’ll eat sarah. Hopper, in s1, when seeing Will (with a vine in his mouth) has a flashback of Sarah on a mouth respirator. And he also has a flashback of Sarah when seeing Will’s lion plushie which resembled Sarah’s tiger plushie. And el also had a lion plushie-like Will’s in s1. Hopper monitored both Will and Sarah at the hospital when they were “dying”. Will has a fear of clowns- and Sarah’s hospital gown had clowns on them. All 3 kids draw.

Plus, we all know the parallels of Will to El (Hopper’s new daughter).

I discussed in my did theory that Hopper (as an adult alter) is a form of protector to all the kid alters - el, Sarah, and Will (host/core). And Hopper as an introject-alter (who are alters based on a person the child knows ) are usually put in the system cause the kid assumes that person could protect them . And since original-Hopper was a police man (a little kid could easily assume that). Although, because he’s a “father figure” for the system he has some of Lonnie’s traits- which are reflected in other perpetrator alters/ bad npcs in the system- Brenner, Neil, Billy, the evil’s Russians,etc . So sometimes he acts similar to a Perpetrator alter too . And I listed those examples/bad parallels extensively in the original did post (linked in the beginning).

And I used these quotes from psych papers in my original did post to pretty much sum up Hopper’s use in Will’s system .

“Introjects can also be based off of figures that the dissociative child found strong, courageous, heroic, or otherwise worthy of being emulated and internalized and could theoretically protect them.”

“Older adult alters are created to serve a nurturing or parenting role, thus serving as a protector. (*protecting Will/el) . However, sometimes their older age is related to taking on the identification of the ab*ser and can therefore take on any of the other more hostile roles too ... Introjects which are mimicking ab*sers are trying to "keep you inline" in order to protect you from external ab*sers. They are copying behaviors shown to them by bad people, not harboring the intent, s*dism or imm*rality of the actual perpetrators.”

I think it pretty much sums up the nuances and motivations of Hopper’s character.

Thanks for the ask, anon :)

#jim hopper #stranger things #sarah hopper #will byers #kali prasad #el hopper #stranger things theory #did theory #s4 theory #st movies

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snkpolls · 4 years ago

Text

SnK Episode 60 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 159 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

RATE THE EPISODE 130 Responses

And we’re back! An explosive premiere brings the series back. The vast majority seemed to enjoy the episode, with only 2.3% of folks giving it a score below a 3.

I thought some of the directing in the action scenes was odd and the music didn’t feel as well integrated/utilized as in past seasons.

If this season is consistently as good as this first episode, AOT will indeed end as a perfect masterpiece

ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT THE CHANGE FROM WIT STUDIO TO MAPPA? 127 Responses

The Studio change from WIT Studio to MAPPA was a subject of much scrutiny and debate before the season’s release. With almost 61% showing some form of enthusiasm about a new studio’s take on the series. The opinion is not uniform, of course, with just over 18% stating their preference for WIT studio. Slightly less (17.3%) can’t give an answer yet and the rest don’t seem to care at all.

I wished MAPPA would make the latter episodes a little more vibrant and lessen the blur

mappa as some of my favorite shows (banana fish, yuri on ice, etc) so it was kinda cool to see they picked up AOT szn 4 ! i’m excitedly waiting to watch the next episode, (and with my ‘watch partner’ aka tumblr friend who discusses with me as we watch LOL).

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CGI TITANS? 127 Responses

If there’s one thing that’s rather controversial about the series’ animation adaptation, then it’s certainly the use of CGI (particularly when animating Titans). The opinion of the fanbase seems to be rather positive, nonetheless. 72.4% of responders gave the CGI some praise (be it more open or more reserved), while 18.2% were more negative about the use of CGI. At the bottom was 9.4% who stated that they preferred WIT’s style of CGI to the one utilized in the episode.

cgi wasn't bad but I was disappointed that it wasn't the 2d animation from the trailer

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW OPENING? 128 Responses

When it came to the season’s opening, there was a positive response, with more than 72% expressing a favorable opinion. 21.1% didn’t seem to care for it and about 6% stated that they thoroughly disliked it.

OP is WAY too overrated, nowhere near as good as the original, too much glorification of the kind of nationalism that led to Nazi germany's rise to power

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW ENDING? 130 Responses

The new ending received very similar scores, with a similar figure of more than 72% expressing a positive view of the ending and a little over a quarter not caring for it. The proportion disliking it was much lower however, with only 2.3% of folks expressing those thoughts.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE 4 YEAR TIME SKIP? 126 Responses

One of the grandest developments that came about in this episode is the fact that a 4 year time skip has occurred since the defeat of the Warriors in Shiganshina. Although there is a sizable minority expressing negative feelings (13.5%), the definitive majority is coming in with enthusiasm (70.6%). The rest are still thinking this change over.

wtf is going on? Who are these new people? Why are we supposed to care about them if they're from Marley? Where are the main characters? Yeah, I suppose Reiner and Zeke technically count as MCs, but there is an appalling lack of 104th characters that needs to be fixed asap!

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SETTING CHANGE? 125 Responses

In a similar vein, a remarkable new development is a change of setting. The majority (almost 61%) see it in a positive light, while 16% seem to dislike it. Just over 19% aren’t certain yet.

After what Reiner and co. did, I am not at all interested in their side of the story and just want Eren and co. to completely decimate these people

Fun to meet new characters but I'm eager to know whats going on with the characters we know

It feels a little disorienting but it's a logical progression of the story

Strange

Wouldnt mind the change of setting if we at least had it from the 104th's perspective

I wasn’t expecting it to be so focused on new characters, and I was disappointed at first but I’m indifferent now.

Not liking the new perspective. At least for this new batch of kids. If Reiner and Zeke are going to be a major focus for a while, wouldn't a short series of flashbacks for their pasta work better than a completely new spin-off from the main story?

WHICH NEW CHARACTER IS YOUR FAVORITE SO FAR? 125 Responses

As this episode introduced a lot of new characters, we got a colorful pie chart for this one. The plurality of responses (40%) chose the kind-hearted Falco, while 28% went with passionate Gabi. 14.4% chose the caring Colt and 13.6% went with the cool Jaw Titan holder. The last couple of responses picked out the stoic General Magath and the quiet Zofia. Poor Udo didn’t get a single vote!

I loved it. I love the new art style, my favorite scene was Gabi destroying the train, she's awesome. I really love Falco as well and Colt. Galliard's titan design is sick

I literally don't give a shit about these new kids, I don't care about their story, just bring back EMA and the 104th already!

WHO DO YOU THINK WILL INHERIT THE ARMORED TITAN? 125 Responses

Another colorful pie chart! An almost even split for the (possible) future inheritor of the Armored Titan. 37.6% believe Falco will take it, while 27.2% went with Gabi. 33.6% do not see any of the cadets inheriting Reiner’s titan and the last couple of votes went ahead to Zofia instead.

WHO HAD THE BETTER GLOW UP? 127 Responses

When drawing comparison to Reiner and Zeke’s looks in the previous season, there was a clear favorite among the responses - Reiner, with 74%. Zeke had the preference of 15% and those who didn’t feel like either of them “went through a glow up” took 11%.

can we acknowledge how good zeke, reiner, and [redacted] looked 😌🥰

REINER PLEASE FUCK ME

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE JAW TITAN? 126 Responses

New season, new setting, new titan! The vast majority of viewers seem hyped about the Jaw Titan and find its design really cool. 15.9% aren’t as thrilled about it, and 9.5% haven’t decided yet. Most of the write-in comments implied a connection with the Jaw Titan. But for the purpose of avoiding spoiling those who haven’t drawn the same conclusion, we won’t be publishing them. Just know we see you. ;)

i was lowkey scared lmao

CART TITAN - BETTER WITH ARMOR OR WITHOUT? 127 Responses

We are reunited with the eerie Cart Titan from S3, but this time flexing cool armor and machine guns on its back! The overwhelming majority of respondents prefer it better tricked out in its armor, over a small minority who appreciate its natural creepiness more.

MOST OF THE EPISODE FOCUSES ON GABI. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HER? 124 Responses

Gabi appears to be a point of controversy among anime viewers already, with 38.7% viewing her favorably, 37.9% viewing her less favorably, and 16.9% not sure how to feel about her yet. Some comments feel she is similar to Eren in some ways, while others found her annoying. And yes, she did break international law. :P

Eren, but smol and female xD

I hate her already

I think she’s awesome

She's like Eren was

she passionately creepy but i like her lol

shes annoying

Gabi is SO annoying istfg really hope Falco gets more focus than Gabi, he seems nicer and more relatable

FALCO MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT “FLYING AROUND WITH A SWORD” AND “ATTACKING TITANS.” WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THAT? 126 Responses

Overall, no one seems to know what’s going on, though many are theorizing that this is related to the paths, titan powers/memory transfer, or Eren somehow. What could this mean for the future of Falco’s character?

Dig at anime viewers returning to S4

He saw the memories of a survey corps member

I have a couple theories, regarding the memories that intelligent Titans share back and forth

maybe he had one of those flashback/forward things that erens dad had

WHO DO YOU THINK WAS BUYING THE NEWSPAPER AT THE END? 126 Responses

Nearly 90% of respondents are certain that this mystery character is someone we know, while just a small handful of people believe it’s someone new, and about the same amount not ready to make a call one way or the other yet. Some write-ins on the poll had guessed specifically who the character may be already. But we won’t spoil you just yet. 👀

The end credits guy is definitely someone we know, but I highly doubt it's Eren

The sharp-looking dude at the end just HAS to be someone we know on Paradis, there's no way they'd just throw us in to this new cast of nobodies without some connection to the main characters

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ELDIANS BEING USED AS WAR FODDER? 126 Responses

The treatment of Eldians on the mainland is something that the majority of respondents see as detestable, with 87.3% finding the use of them as war fodder to be downright cruel. A smaller amount of people either felt it was a necessary evil, or didn’t feel strongly about it one way or the other.

Literally waiting for the 104th to show up and fuck shit up for these inhumane monsters

That's what happens in the real world. The persecuted minority gets used as war fodder.

i d k 👀

DO YOU THINK IT’S POSSIBLE FOR RELATIONS BETWEEN ELDIANS AND MARLEYANS TO IMPROVE? 123 Responses

Colorful opinions mean more colorful pie charts! Most viewers feel that there is no way for the relations between Eldians and Marleyans to improve (30.1%) or that relations will never improve, with the exception of a rare few who are sympathetic to Eldians (22.8%). A smaller amount (totalling 32.5%) feel that it’s possible for things to improve whether it be due to a change in Marleyan leadership or due to the two sides having to come together for the greater good. 14.6% of respondents stand in the middle ground, unsure of whether relations can improve or not.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Honestly at first it was very confusing but overall I enjoyed it

So when do we get to see the 104th again?

I figured there would be more modern technology involved in the story, but I'm not a fan at all of the direction it's going so far. Makes me worried the ultimate basement reveal was the peak of AoT's greatness.

it was action filled!!! although i was sad so see that there are 16 episodes n not like 24(i think), it means every episode is gonna deliver!!! off to a great start, op and ed are amazing. renier had a nice glow up and JEAN WAS THAT U AT THE END?? yessir!!! beast titan looked ugly asf but when was he not ugly?? LOL

Idk wtf that opening was but I kinda like the ending. Falco seems like a good kid. I just REALLY hope he doesn't end up doing anything to hurt the protagonists (I fully expect Gabi to, she's already a violent ax-crazy kid)

just give me some Armin

WHERE. IS. EREN?

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 124 Responses

Thanks again everyone for participating in the poll! We look forward to seeing your responses for next week’s episode!

#snk poll #snk polls #snk spoilers #snk s4 #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot

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ridiasfangirlings · 5 years ago

Note

S4 goes camping! I'm sure Fushimi loves this. :D

Of course Fushimi loves this, why would Fushimi not love going outside to a forest and sleeping on the cold hard ground in a tent with no wi-fi or internet access and foraging for berries, sounds right up his alley :D Considering how Scepter 4's day at the beach went in canon I assume camping would be similar, like maybe Hidaka was discussing a fun camping trip with Eno, Gotou and Fuse and Munakata overhears and decides this would be an excellent idea for a clan bonding session. Awashima agrees that this would be a good time to help the force practice their survival skills and so Munakata has everyone shipped off to the nearest forest where they will have to live off the land for a few days. Munakata does allow everyone to bring some supplies, including tents, weapons and some cookware. The bad side of this is the vans drop them off in front of the forest and they have to haul their own gear to the campsite. Some of the squad aren't so worried about it, like an hour into the trek Awashima, Akiyama and Benzai are all still going strong with no trouble. Hidaka is initially enthusiastic but he's starting to get a bit winded and is wondering if they're almost to the camp. Trailing behind is Fushimi, grumbling under his breath and sweating in the heat and dragging his pack like he's going to drop any minute and eventually Hidaka has to try and convince him to let Hidaka help carry his pack. Fushimi glares at Hidaka for even asking but probably does let Hidaka carry his pack, since now it frees his hands to play around on his PDA trying to get some reception.

They finally reach the camp and Munakata has everyone divide into teams, half the force is to set up the tents while the other half goes searching for firewood (and the Fushimi half goes to sit in the shade until his color looks a little better). Akiyama and Benzai are the only two who know how to put up a tent properly so of course they're on firewood duty, leaving Hidaka, Fuse, Enomoto and Doumyouji to set up the tents. This goes about as well as can be expected, Enomoto and Fuse make a decent try of it but Doumyouji keeps accidentally making the tents collapse and Hidaka is starting to realize that these tents are awfully small and can he fit in one. Akiyama, Benzai, Kamo and Gotou return with firewood to find the tents still unfinished, Hidaka sighs and says well at least they have fire. Gotou smiles serenely and nods, adding that this might draw the bears to them though. There's a long pause and then Fuse is like '...Bears?' and Gotou says he saw some bear tracks while he was getting wood, isn't nature interesting. Hidaka wonders if they should have brought their swords.

Munakata meanwhile has no fear of bears and decides that next they must gather food, sending the force off to do some searching. Awashima goes to catch a few fish at the nearest river along with Akiyama and Benzai. Gotou gathers up a bunch of mushrooms that he thinks look safe, Fushimi's like I would rather gnaw my own hand off than eat those (this is proven to be the actual correct reaction when Doumyouji has a few and spends the next three hours staring at his hand and giggling randomly). Hidaka is sent to gather berries from high up branches and vaguely resents this, Enomoto wonders if these are safe and they decide it's fine, Fushimi's already volunteered Doumyouji to be the official taste-tester. Kamo, Akiyama and Benzai are able to recognize some berries and sort out some safe ones from the bad ones and they actually have a decent meal of fish and berries.

That night Hidaka's trying to sleep when he hears the sound of branches breaking and something making a snuffling noise. Hidaka pokes his head out sleepily and Fuse, in the tent next to him, smacks him and hisses at him to be quiet. There's this huge bear right in the center of camp pawing through their leftovers. Enomoto wonders if they should wake everyone and run, Gotou figures it will be okay as long as no one makes any noise. Naturally that's when Doumyouji screams because guys there's a bear. Hidaka, Fuse and Enomoto all hush him at once but now the bear's seen them and it's coming closer, Hidaka really wishes he had his sword. There's a sudden flash of silver and three knives hit the ground right in front of the bear. It rears back, raising a paw and another knife flies by its head. The bear retreats back into the woods and the alphabet boys hear this small 'tch' behind them, turning to see Fushimi standing there half asleep with bed-head and just looking super annoyed, that's the third bear he's had to knife just this evening, fuck camping.

#k project #Talking K #why wouldn't Fushimi love camping I'm sure it's his favorite thing #he probably stays awake half the night protecting everyone from bears #Munakata is aware of this and allows Fushimi to sleep in the next day while everyone else works #also Munakata adds bear fighting to the list of possible training exercises

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mittensmorgul · 5 years ago

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So I have a question about 9x14. Bart talks to Cas about leading "an incursion against Raphael and his loyalists." So we can assume he's talking about season 6 stuff. But later, Bart also talks about how Cas was called back to the battlefield because "our leaders wanted those captives killed, and they knew you'd stand in the way of their order." I thought Cas was the main commander in season 6, since he led the rebellion. Why were there other "leaders" that acted against Cas's wishes?

(9x14 Anon here, I know these kind of questions are kind of inconsequential to the overall story but I still like to understand these small things, especially when it comes to Cas. Sorry if that’s not your thing, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to 🙃)

Hi there! I’ll start by saying that this is EXACTLY the sort of detail I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE MOST. :’D I love picking at things like this and attempting to find the truth, as much as we can in a work of fiction.

I’ll start by saying I have already asked myself this question, even if I didn’t give myself a fully satisfying answer, back the week before 13.03 first aired, in October 2017.

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/166754538920/rewatching-914-i-love-this-episode-so-much

The series of thoughts I posed in this rewatch are:

Who ordered Bartholomew to kill those captives, if Castiel had been the one to leave them in his care? Who other than Castiel had the right to give that order? Just like the demon Crowley left in charge of his own captives, who tortured and killed Crowley’s captives without Crowley’s orders to do so.

It is sort of hand-wavey of s6 as a whole, isn’t it? Then again, s6 sort of handwaved itself in 6.20… Or at least dropped the curtain on all the secrecy surrounding the war in heaven that we’d only heard hints and whispers of until that point. But it also leaves out the entire previous year of events between 5.22 and 6.01, which we only saw in a few occasional flashbacks.

6.20 does kind of give us a vague timeline for events post 5.22, but not really. We don’t know how much time passed between Dean showing up at Lisa’s and Cas watching him rake leaves, for example. Cas only describes the time span as “those first weeks back in Heaven,” so it could be two weeks, or it could be twelve weeks, or more, before Raphael pulled him over and gave him his ultimatum.

We know Cas was building alliances with other angels at that time. They sort of hastily tried to show us the extent of that with Rachel, that Cas had other trusted angels working with him, but we also have been shown since s4 that… angels are difficult to keep in line. Uriel, Balthazar, and of course Cas himself. And a lot of others. We’re left to wonder just how “in charge” of the “rebel faction” Cas actually was in s6, especially when TWO of his closest generals? Commanders? Whatever, the terminology isn’t important here, but their PERCEIVED position of power is. But Cas was BETRAYED TWICE in s6 by angels he was supposedly “in charge” of– Rachel and Balthazar.

But what was the perception of all the other angels that were being told they needed to choose a side in this war? The angels who didn’t WANT to choose a side? Maybe they were fine with the status quo. Maybe they just didn’t want to fight. Maybe they wanted nothing to do with an apocalypse, but Raphael was demanding it, and Cas and his cohorts were trying to stop it. But when Raphael began laying down ultimatums, like the one he issued Cas to basically fall in line or die, I think Cas and a LOT of his cohorts were likely able to win the loyalty of angels who’d otherwise have had nothing to do with Cas, you know?

How many of Cas’s legions were converted to his side, to his cause, by angels loyal to Rachel, or to Balthazar, or to any of the other angels Cas had gathered to his cause? How many of them thought Rachel’s ideas were more compelling that Cas’s? How many of them actually knew about Cas’s ACTUAL plans to take down Raphael, and how many thought this was really a fight between the “foot soldiers” in each faction?

We know, for example, that Rachel was supposed to be one of his closest Lieutenants (THAT’S the word I was looking for earlier… >.>). Rachel… had no real idea what Cas was up to until she began to uncover his larger schemes in 6.18 (i.e. the episode we both meet her for the first time, and Cas kills her for challenging his plan once she begins to understand the reality of it).

But Carver era spent a LOT of time showing us just how little we actually understood s6. I mean, three episodes before 9.14, we hear it from Cas’s own mouth:

SAM [slaps his hand away]: You’re a terrible liar.CASTIEL: That is not true. I once deceived and betrayed both you and your brother.

He’s talking about s6. That season where he spent very little time in Heaven, despite constantly telling the Winchesters that it was Heaven and his troubles there that had been keeping him away from them all season. It sounds very much like his strategy in Purgatory, you know? At least on the surface, how he ran away from Dean to draw off the Leviathan… because that’s what he was doing in the Raking Leaves scene in 6.20, too… everything to keep Dean safe, to keep him out of it.

(meanwhile he’d unleashed soulless!Sam on the world, and didn’t seem to have any qualms getting Sam tangentially involved in his side quest with Crowley… which was his ACTUAL mission during s6.)

Back to the point, which was that Cas was deceiving BOTH his angel comrades in Heaven AND the Winchesters throughout s6. He wasn’t spending most of his time in the nitty-gritty fights in Heaven. In fact, we know very little about what those fights entailed, and really DIDN’T know there were “prisoners” involved on either side of that battle until s9. Well, we knew Cas-as-Godstiel intended to destroy Raphael’s followers, who refused to side with him during the war, but that’s ALL we knew until Bart told us about “prisoners” that had been taken, and apparently executed.

Because what Bartholomew’s little comments to Cas tell me is that Bart… really didn’t know what Cas’s real mission, his real plan, had been all along. The little scrums in heaven were a distraction for him, that he left to play out while he raced to find the power to kill Raphael and end the war himself.

But he apparently did occasionally peek in and lead a “mission,” or a “fight” or a “skirmish” in heaven, but then was sent away– or possibly not SENT away, but went back to his main quest for the Purgatory souls. Perception is everything here, and if Cas just.. left the fight, might Bart PERCEIVE him as having been sent away, right before “alternate orders” to kill the prisoners came from someone else?

Either that, or Cas did take himself out of the direct leadership of the rebel army in Heaven, and DID take orders from someone else while on that battlefield? We honestly do not know, and I don’t know if it’s even relevant now, because it’s all a game of perception.

Now that we know the full extent of Chuck’s involvement in arranging troubles all over creation, could Bart’s description and “recollection” of those events have even been “edited” after the fact? Heck, we don’t even need Chuck to explain this one… how about Naomi? The narrative has honestly never fully addressed it, and I don’t think it will be. Which is part of what makes it so interesting to think about, to me anyway.

Because what really was Cas’s role in the war in Heaven? Was he merely a figurehead who dared to challenge Raphael and then left most of the day-to-day running of the war to his lieutenants? Because that’s how his conversations with Rachel made it seem. And how s6 seems to make the most sense to me overall. Almost as if the war in heaven and those battles that had consumed Bartholomew’s entire perspective of that time… were barely even on Cas’s radar at all. He had so many other more important things to think about.

This is one reason why I found the whole “Cas as Commander” toward the end of s9 so fascinating. Because that was a role he was FORCED into by Metatron, and not something he was comfortable with. He took the responsibility seriously though, but I had seen it at least partly as more of his eternal penance for s6, and a chance to get a do-over on a lot of the things he always felt he screwed up during that time. And Heaven is near the top of that list– not because he directed the wars there, but because he’d neglected them.

The image of Cas as some great Leader Of Heaven’s Armies is just… not and never has been the reality of his character, despite being an incredibly popular fanon interpretation of his character. Even back in early s4, when he seemed to have Authority, he seemed so confident in the Plans of Heaven, seemed so in charge, the reality of that began to crack through by 4.07, and had completely shaken apart by the end of the season. I’ve applied that thematic to essentially everything having to do with Heaven and the organizational system up there ever since.

We like to think of Heaven as a military organization, and angels as soldiers with well-defined ranks and positions within a hierarchy. I think the reality is far more like Heaven is a bureaucracy, and half the people in the organization are scheming to overthrow the other half at any given time, there’s no clear leadership level by level and no clearly delineated pecking order or chain of command. More like a conglomerate of different divisions who each think their group is the one in charge, while getting very little input or guidance from the supposed leadership of the whole organization. A bunch of petty middle-managers scrambling for as much power and control as they could amass.

Heaven was made up of Zachariahs and Metatrons and Naomis, after all.

eta: after I read the whole thing again :’D

Bart was just another low-level bureaucrat attempting to seize power for himself where he saw an opportunity. And like the vast majority of other angels, he died for it. And there’s now so few of them left and they’re STILL behaving this same exact way-- with Dumah having schemed her way into getting Naomi locked up in s14. I mean, nothing ever changes, right? Even when there’s only a handful of angels left, they can’t let go and work together. They’ll be the death of themselves.

(Except the few that seem to have realized there’s a better way-- like Cas, like Naomi who was at least trying to learn a better way, like Anael who would rather live a sham life on Earth helping people than return to Heaven even after seeing more sides of the bureaucracy than most other angels, and like Metatron who only learned better after he lost his grace and still ended up dying for trying to do the right thing... Chuck really is a jerk, you know?)

#spn 9.14 #spn 6.20 #spn 6.18 #spn 9.11 #spn 14.20 #spn 9.18 #spn 9.21 #spn 9.22 #castiel winchester #heaven hell purgatory and the empty #spn cosmology #heck this probably needs other tags but i haven't even reread it...#it's probably just a disaster :'D #Anonymous

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youknowmymethods · 6 years ago

Text

Content Creator Interview #6

Hello again and welcome to our sixth interview. This time, it’s the turn of @ashockinglackofsatin to put @sunken-standard ‘s writing under the microscope. Together they chat about the early days of the Sherlock fandom, how music can influence writing, and why the I Love You scene helped end sunken’s own great hiatus.

For those who don’t know me: I am @ashockinglackofsatin on tumbr, satin_doll on AO3. My test subject...erm, sorry - interviewee - is the notorious sunken_standard, probably most famous for her two epic, novel-length stories Longer Than The Road That Stretches Out Ahead and Fumbling Toward Ecstasy, which can be found on AO3 (along with her other wonderful stories) and should be required reading for anyone aspiring to write fanfiction.

You should know, first off, that I’m crap at doing interviews, which I discovered years ago when I had to interview musicians and various personalities as a job. I didn’t last long at that job.

So here is Kat’s Idiotic Interview with @sunken-standard.

satin_doll: You’re very good at writing Sherlock’s emotional cluelessness without making him seem like an idiot or an ass. Can you talk a little about the way you see Sherlock’s character that allows you to do this?

sunken_standard: Thank you :D So the answer to this is going to carry through to some of the other questions, but basically, I write Sherlock as a version of myself. I feel a kinship with the character, a highly intelligent person surrounded by idiots and so, so frustrated by it, but even more frustrated by his own brain and the inability to control it. Probably autistic, just like I'm probably autistic (and I don't want to get into it but I'm not trying to co-opt an identity here or anything; I've tried to get a diagnosis and found out that's just not possible with my current healthcare options).

Anyway, one of my probably-autistic things is being hyper-aware of other people's emotions, but also having trouble identifying them and the appropriate responses. At times I do lack empathy, like I honestly can't understand why someone is feeling what they're feeling because I wouldn't feel that way in the same situation and it doesn't make sense. Sometimes I can empathize so much that it's overwhelming and I just kind of short-circuit, especially when it comes to grief or loss, and I end up being insensitive or just not saying or doing what a normal person would.

So basically, I approach his responses to other people's emotions the way I would my own, only stripped of female socialization and self-awareness.

satin_doll: How much do you draw on your own life and experiences in your fics?

sunken_standard: For scenarios and specific scenes, not a lot. For emotional and sensory experiences, more. I haven't done very much or lived to my full potential, so it's not a very deep well on either account. Every now and then anecdotes or details creep in (like Mars Cheese Castle and the “call me Daddy” during sex thing [which, for the record, was skeevy as fuck irl]), but most of it just comes from nowhere or stuff I saw on TV.

satin_doll: Both “Longer than the Road…” and “Fumbling Toward Ecstasy” are novel length stories. “Road”, however, is written without breaks/chapters. Did you ever consider breaking it up into parts or chapters? How hard was it to keep it all in one piece and how long did it take you to finish it?

sunken_standard: When I write, I usually just start and then go 'til it's done or I burn out. I got through three or four chapters' worth of FTE (and was on the verge of giving up until maybe_amanda convinced me not to). Since the story wasn't nearly finished and I wanted to start putting it out into the world (mostly because I have no patience, but also because I knew there was a window to stay relevant and a large number of people were looking for a longer, meatier [cough] post-TFP fic), I decided to start posting what I had and just write as I went because I was, in hindsight, probably hypomanic and I was keeping a good pace at that point.

I dunno, I think there was a lot more of that long-format thing happening in fic back then, where you'd have a 40k piece that only had breaks because of the word limit per post on LJ.

As far as how long it took, I don't remember. I know I started it February of that year and had probably a good 75% of it finished (all written at a tear, over the course of probably ten days or so, because when I was still smoking actual cigarettes I could and did do 3-5k words/ day), but then I dropped it and went on to try other ideas. I went back to it when those other stories fizzled, and I finished it in maybe another 2-3 weeks with editing and beta reading. I had some real problems with the ending and it was never good enough for me, but I just got to a point where I was sick of it and it was good enough.

So basically, it's harder for me to work in chapters than it is one long piece. There's more discipline to a chaptered work; each chapter is its own story, in a way, and each one needs to end on a certain kind of beat. I still don't feel like I have a knack for it, and I think if I did anything long like that again I'd have to write most of it without breaks and then shoehorn them in where I could later on.

satin_doll: You took a long hiatus from Sherlock fic after S2, and came back for S4. What was it about S4 that sparked your writing again?

sunken_standard: I don't really know. I mean, the ILY was a big thing, but I think S4 gave me more to work with for the kind of things I write (all the angst and inner monologue) than S3 or TAB. I had mixed feelings about S3. I didn't like Mary much for a long time because she was one of Moffat's women (and anyone who's seen my tumblr knows how I feel about that), but I finally unclenched after a while because I like Amanda Abbington a lot and Mary was preferable to Sarah Sawyer (who I'm more ambiguous about now, but really didn't like for a long time because there was something about her that I read as smarmy, though now I see her reactions as more subtly uncomfortable and kind of like “what's going on/ this is weird/ John's a nice guy but is everything around him always this weird?”). Anyway.

I did try writing a bit after S3, but I never finished any of it; I didn't really feel like there was a place in the fandom or much of a community at that time, either—at least, not like what I had been used to from the early days. The tribe that existed wasn't my tribe (any of them). I think I need a certain degree of shared enthusiasm to motivate me to keep writing. Like, I have a lot of ideas for fic in other fandoms, but they're dead or never existed in the first place. And I know I'll have some audience for the small fandoms and people will read and kudos and everything, but there's no one around to geek out with or bounce ideas off of, so it just isn't as appealing. If I'm going to be miserable and alone while writing something, it's going to be something I can at least make money off of, y'know?

satin_doll: Do you edit as you go or finish the story first and go back over it to edit?

sunken_standard: Edit as I go. When I get stuck, I break that cardinal rule of writing and go back over what I've written and nit-pick it to death. It's a bad habit, but at the same time, small changes have led to big developments in the course of the story later on. I mean, I think sometimes this is why I have so many unfinished things, but I've tried just writing through and that doesn't work for me either. Once I get to the end of something, I've already made most of big cuts and done a lot of the reworking, so the beta polishing isn't as labor-intensive. I'm one of those people that when I feel like something's finished, I don't want to have to go back to it again. And if I didn't edit as I went, it would kind of feel like redoing the whole story and that's extremely unappealing to me. It's kind of like baking—it's always better if you clean as you go, rather than waiting until the cake's out of the oven to do the dishes and put stuff away (which I do when I'm low on spoons, but it ends up seeming like double the work).

satin_doll: Do you proof it yourself or rely on someone else to proofread it for you? I’m talking technical details here, proofing as opposed to simple beta reading.

sunken_standard: Mostly proof myself, since I edit as I go (and proofing is inevitably part of that when the mistakes just jump out). My beta catches everything else (and she's amazing; I misuse words and just legit don't know spelling differences for a lot of things [stationary vs stationery] and I'm not great with grammar and prepositions because I'm an ignorant fucker with no education).

satin_doll: When did you first start writing? When did you first discover that you COULD write?

sunken_standard: I remember writing stories as a kid, but I burned them all when I was a teenager so I don't even know what most were about or anything. I do remember that I wrote one when I was in like 4th or 5th grade that was ST:TNG self-insert fanfic and I think the plot was me working with Data to bring Lal back. I know it was Data, because I had a huge crush on him as a kid. I really thought I could grow up to write ST:TNG novels at that point.

And as for CAN write—jury's still out on that one. Ask my 12th grade English teacher, who laughed in my face when I told him I was thinking of pursuing English so I could be a writer. But before that, I had some other teachers that used to give me A+s on my creative writing assignments (despite all the spelling and grammatical errors). In 11th grade, I had a really great teacher, Mr. Lansing, who turned me on to the good parts of American lit and really encouraged me to read (and write) what I liked, not just what other people told me I had to. He encouraged me when I applied for the Governer's school, too. (The Governer's School is this program in PA for kids who excel; it's like a summer camp for the elite nerds. They have a bunch of them, each for different areas—math, science, medicine, I think one that's like history/ government/ civics, and then one for the arts. For creative writing, they take a total of 20 kids—10 for poetry and 10 for prose. I tried for the poetry category and made the first round of cuts and went for a regional interview (with about 50 other kids, so like maybe 150 kids state-wide); long story short I didn't make it. I was the first alternate, meaning if somebody couldn't attend, I would get their spot. #11 out of 10. I was so crushed, because it basically reinforced what I'd been told by other people—I was a big fish in pond too small to even piss in and there were always going to be people better than me. I was already mostly checked-out when it came to academia and aspirations; after that there was just really no point to keep going.)

Anyway though, I did write bits and pieces here and there even after school, thinking one day I'd get my shit together and write my own Confederacy of Dunces and then off myself (it's still a viable plan). Then, in 2008 I was recently unemployed and everything in life was shitty, so I wrote a big happy-ending fic for The Doctor and Rose. It was kind of the right bit of media at the right time that inspired me. More about that later though.

satin_doll: What/who do you think has had the biggest influence on the development of your style?

sunken_standard: I've been asked this before, and I always feel like I'm a little pretentious and I trot out the same names (both fanfic authors and book authors), but I had a realization a while ago that I'm always missing one person—Vonnegut. I think he's got this kind of no-bullshit way of saying things that still manages to be poetic and delicate and that's what I most aspire to.

I think a lot of my style is influenced by film, too. Some influences are probably Todd Solondz, Richard Linklater, Kevin Smith, and John Waters, as far as the way I approach the reality within the story. I think I tend to focus on a lot of the same things—the weird, the mundane, the mildly uncomfortable—but I don't go nearly as far in any direction. I think even the way I string scenes together and the shifting of focus within my scenes between action, dialogue, and inner monologue are influenced by cinematography. I always say I'm just transcribing the movie in my head, so I mean, there's bound to be some kind of influence.

satin_doll: You’re noted for the banter between your characters, humorous and otherwise. Do you have rules/profiles for characters that establish their voices for you? Are there things, for example, that you think Sherlock or Molly simply would never say/do or would always say/do? How structured are these characters in your head when you start writing?

sunken_standard: It varies slightly from story to story/ universe to universe, but I think I have patterns for the banter (and I have a different set for Sherlock and John, and Sherlock and Mycroft, but there are common threads throughout). As for comedy, it's not quite straight man/ funny man, but I tend to default to Sherlock being more literal and deadpan and Molly being more expressive and emotive. I use the scraps of the dynamic the show's given us and just build on that. It's kind of formulaic, actually: Sherlock does a not-good thing (degree of severity varies), Molly reacts with a blend of annoyance and amusement while going along for the ride.

I have a kind of mental file for things I think would be out of character for each of them, but sometimes I like to try to find a way to get to one of those things and slip it into a fic organically. One of the reason I liked doing the one-line prompt fics so much was that so many of them could easily have been intros to the kind of fluff that makes me gag; I'm no fool, though, and I love me some low-hanging fruit, so I just adjust it to my tastes. I'm a never-say-never kinda gal. Mostly.

That being said, there are a lot of things that I think would take a lot of doing to make them be in-character. I don't think they'd ever use pet names for each other unless it was through gritted teeth or with at least a bit of irony (like how I used “yes, dear,” in FTE, and I think in some of the universes in Ficlet Cemetery). I can't see Sherlock ever doing housework unless it was for a case (though dishes and sanitizing surfaces are an exception, because both those chores are tangent to the kind of cleaning up after oneself one does in a lab setting, and imo that fits with his logic). I can't see him being very affectionate in public, except under rare circumstances when he might do an arm around the shoulders or a guiding palm to the small of the back.

And as for structure, I think they all start with the same scaffolding, but in every new universe they get draped slightly differently according to variations in backstory or tone or genre or whatever. Or like, they're already sculpted, but the lighting changes. I think that as I write, they take on different nuances and acquire more depth, though. Like it wasn't really until a few chapters in to FTE that I got a fuller picture of the Molly I was writing, even though I had the rough idea of her backstory from pretty much the beginning. Same with Longer Than the Road, too. As I come up with details of someone's past, I experience those scenarios and it makes me rethink and fine-tune everything about them in what I've already written, and adds more texture as I keep going.

satin_doll: You’ve listed a playlist for “Longer than the Road…” Do you write to music? How much does music inspire your writing? Does every story have a playlist?

sunken_standard: It's funny, but I don't listen to music nearly as much as I did even 5 years ago. Not sure why, honestly, maybe something to do with my mental health and overstimulation? So I don't write to music much anymore. Not every story has a playlist or songs attached (I don't think any of the FC stuff does, at least not in any significant way), but it seems like my best work is inspired by music in some way.

FTE didn't really have a soundtrack, but I listened to a lot of the music I had in common with the version of Molly that I was writing—very 90s alternative and pop rock. Lots of Pulp (which I picked as Molly's favorite band because I think they're Loo's favorite, or one of her favorites). For the proposal, I had “Dreams” by The Cranberries on a loop as I wrote. There's just something musically about that song that's full of anticipation and the wavy kind of guitar (I don't know the music terms and it's been so many years since I was into anything instrument-related that I'm not even sure how the sound is made, like a whammy bar or wiggling their fingers on the frets or whatever but anyway) just has this kind of wavering emotion that makes it feel like it's on the cusp of something. And also it's the big romance song from every coming-of-age thing ever, and so just hearing it is like an auditory shorthand for breathless, adventurous romance, at least for women of a certain age (namely, my age, and I'm only a year younger than Loo/ Molly). There was another scene—I can't remember what it was without rereading the fic—that I spent like three days listening to nothing but “The Way” by Fastball. It might have been the thing with the drink testing and then the sex on the sofa and the cake baking. (As an aside, I just started listening to the song and immediately got hit with a sense memory of night-wet spring air blowing in my window, because that's what the weather was when I was writing to this and it gives me a weird yearning pull in the back of my throat, like nostalgia almost but something else in it. Like, did you ever hear a pop song that taps into some deeper part of the human experience, both musically and lyrically, and you just feel like there's some universal truth in it that's too much to totally grasp? That's how I feel about both of those songs. Anyway.)

Another story that had a few songs attached was Stainless, Captive Bead. Radiohead's “Creep” was what they were listening to in the tattoo parlor, and a lot of the sex bits were written while listening to Nine Inch Nails' “Closer” (look, if it's set in the 90s and there's fucking in it, I'm going to find a way to relate it to “Closer,” because that song is just dark sex and angst set to synthesizers and a high hat).

Also, sometimes when I write I listen to ambient noise stuff, cityscapes or rain or whatever fits the tone of the piece and my mood. I can't listen to anything for too long, though, because I get listener fatigue and I burn out faster.

satin_doll: Have you ever considered self-publishing your stories as a book or series of books?

sunken_standard: I've tried to file off the serial numbers on the Girlfriend series, but it was harder than I thought it would be so I back-burnered it. I still like to think that one day I will, it's a life goal, but if I put too much pressure on myself I only make it worse and nothing gets done.

satin_doll: You seem to have a detailed backstory for every character in your stories, from Janine to Molly’s mother. Do you work these out beforehand or do they just happen in your head as you write?

sunken_standard: Both? I kind of touched on it earlier, but I usually have an idea of the backstory, the bones at least, and then as I write it gets richer. I have multiple headcanons for every character, so I just start off with one of those. Like I have five different families for Molly, all things I was coming up with when I was writing other stories. Hell, I've got like five different Uncle Rudys (most of them highly unpleasant and most likely triggering).

I have a habit of just sitting and thinking about a character, like “what would make them this way?” armchair psychoanalysis stuff. And if I can establish a plausible-sounding backstory, I have a better foundation for introducing non-canonical traits or details. I think that's the downfall of a lot of fic authors—they just write a canon character as they would an OC and expect us to play along without demonstrating any internal logic. Maybe I'm just picky; there's certainly an element of that, too.

satin_doll: How detailed is the story in your mind before you start writing it? Do you work from plans and outlines with every story?

sunken_standard: It all depends on the story. Sometimes I have a whole series of detailed scenes just waiting in my head to be written out. Sometimes I only have one thing and I just keep going. I say I use an outline, but it's not a proper outline. More like a collection of notes and bullet points of what I want to happen and what kind of beats I want to hit. I usually keep it at the bottom of my working document so I don't have to switch to another doc to look at it if I need to.

satin_doll: Where does a story begin with you? What constitutes the “urge” to write? You once mentioned (in a comment reply I think) that you know the ending of the story first and then write the rest of the story to get there. What do you do when a story goes off track? How do you get it back to the way you planned it, or do you even try to do that?

sunken_standard: (I don't know why my document formatting went tits-up here, so I'll answer 1 & 2 both here)

So stories are a visceral kind of thing. I always have ideas. Seriously, give me a theme or a title or something and I can spit out a summary and details in as long as it takes to type it out. But actually crafting prose (can I sound more pompous?) is best likened to the urge to poop. Classy, right? I said it was visceral. Really though, it's that same kind of state of heightened awareness/ arousal (in the strictest medical sense of the word, not sexual arousal), something is happening and if it doesn't things are going to get weird and I'm going to be very uncomfortable for a very long time. Also, like pooping, if it's not ready, no amount of grunting or straining is going to make it happen, and it might even make it worse in the long run. As you can tell, I've been very, very constipated for the last year.

Anyway.

Stories going off track... a lot of the time I just let it happen because it's taking me to a better place than where I thought it was going to end up.

satin_doll: Quote from you: “I spend way too much time thinking about who Molly is as a person. Writing porn and comedy both have their appeal, but I really like sitting down and thinking about what makes any given character tick and how they might feel about what's happening around them. 30s and single has so much baggage to it, even if all the women's magazine articles and whatever-wave-we're-up-to-now feminist thought pieces say it's a myth or a stereotype or whatever. It's a truth we don't want to be true because it's not fair. I mean, it's not the thing that solely defines any woman, but it's there, just like cellulite and brand new and worrying moles and our favorite brand of whatever suddenly being discontinued (or significantly changed) because some marketing person decided it was too 'old.' But anyway, such is life. And I like putting that in fic.”

Do you write character studies to use as a reference for your stories, or just wing it for each individual piece?

sunken_standard: The character study is dead, isn't it? Like, as standalone fic. Never see them anymore, which is a real pity. I used to write them (or, well, start them, heh) before I took a break from writing/ fandom, mostly to try to get some of my headcanons down in some kind of usable way. But I haven't really written a character study (in prose, at least) since 2012 or so.

So when I write, I keep two documents open—the working copy that's a first-through-final draft and a “notes/ cut bits/ things to work in somehow” document. In the notes document I usually keep any character details (backstory or how I want them to react to something later, whatever). There are themes I go back to over and over, like a cluster of traits I reuse in some fashion because I think they fit the character (Mycroft and disordered eating, Molly as a middle child in some fashion, John as the child of alcoholics, etc.), so a lot of that just lives in my head. Any bits of characterization specific to a story go in the notes doc for that story, while any generic thoughts or something that I think I might want to use later gets stuck in another document full of random ideas, snippets of dialogue, jokes, AUs I'll never write, that kind of thing. I've got a few of those docs from different writing periods. They're mostly just a way to externalize a thought so I don't lose it; I hardly ever go back to them for anything.

satin_doll: What was your first involvement with fanfiction? Where did it all start?

sunken_standard: I started to answer this in another question; basically, fanfic's been in my wheelhouse in one way or another since I was a kid (Star Trek novels are fanfic, period). I discovered fanfiction back in the days of eXcite searches and webrings while looking for translations of Inu Yasha manga scans; I stumbled upon an English-language fancomic/ doujinshi called Hero in the 21st Century and it was so well-written, funny and poignant and well-researched I was just drawn in. I still think about it and the author's other works to this day. I did pick at the idea of writing myself, sometimes even put down scenes or outlines and did hours of research, but never did the thing.

And then, in 2008, the stars aligned and I started a thing. Journey's End spawned a ton of Doctor Who fic, and that was good, because I could just kind of slip mine in there and I probably wouldn't get a lot of criticism or attention. So I wrote like two chapters without any idea of how it was going to end, and I submitted it to Teaspoon and an Open Mind (which was the Doctor Who fic archive at the time; it was curated/ moderated and where you went when you wanted to read something you knew would be good, or at least conform to certain standards, unlike The Pit [which is still garbage today]). And I got rejected. My grammar and spelling were awful (I didn't even have spell-check in whatever program I was using) and they said the whole thing had good bones, but I really needed to work on the English before they'd look at it again. Getcherself a beta, they suggested, and I think they had a forum where writers and betas could connect. So I got myself a beta and she stuck with me for like 30 chapters, answering questions and keeping my characterization on-track and basically re-teaching me the rules of written English. I tried to email her a few years ago to thank her again, but her email bounced back. Her name was Julia and if she sees this, thank you Julia. You're a wonderful person.

Anyway, I wrote lots in that fic universe for like 2 months, then got another job and tapered off. I abandoned it completely after a year. Life got in the way of a lot of things, and the next time I was really inspired to write anything was a couple years later, for Supernatural. I only put it on my LJ, never posted to a community or anything, and no one read it. Literally, I don't think the post got any hits at all and for sure no one commented. I sometimes think about putting it on AO3 just because. And then Sherlock happened and here we are.

satin_doll: Do you think writing fanfic has hurt or hindered your original work? Why or why not? (that looks like a high school test question - sorry!)

sunken_standard: Lol @ test question :D

I'm not really sure, tbh. On one hand, I only have so much creative energy—it's definitely a finite resource, and a scarce one—and devoting it to fanfic diverts it from any original work. On the other hand, all writing is practice. The only way to improve is to keep doing, no matter what it is. So in that sense, fanfic's certainly helped me to find a comfortable voice and a prose style that works for me. There are still problems to solve, figuring out the best approach to a scene or story from a technical standpoint (stuff like tense and perspective and all that), so I'm always learning something as I go. Mixed bag, really.

satin_doll: What was it about the Sherlock/Molly dynamic that got you started on a piece like “Longer Than the Road…” What did you see there that made you want to explore it in such detail?

sunken_standard: So I always talk about how Sustain was my come-to-Jesus moment with Sherlock and Molly. Here's something I've never told anybody, not even maybe_amanda (because I was kind of ashamed, but not for the reasons people might think): before ever reading Sustain, I started a story that was Sherlock/ John and Sherlock/ Molly. I had it roughly outlined and a few pages written, but I just kind of lost the feeling of it and it was starting to get problematic for character motivations, yada yada, so into the scrap heap it went. It had a passing similarity to Sustain because of a platonic-sex-for-pregnancy element (hence why I never talked about it), but the major difference was that it was going to end up as a kind of polyamorous arrangement, Sherlock loving both of them and having a kind of co-parenting triad. In mine, John wanted a baby, and Molly wanted her own baby, and Sherlock thought “best of both worlds!” and why do IVF when you can write awkward angst-fucking instead. But yeah, I never finished it.

Anyway, I always saw something there, but I couldn't make it work in a way that was consistent with my own characterization of Sherlock until after Series 2. Even in Series 1, he looks at her with a kind of fondness and a sort of bewilderment that just lends itself to nerds in love. At the time (and even now, tbh), I kind of attributed that to BC having a crush on Loo (and oh man do I have theories, which are gossipy and gross and not the kind of thing I usually even bother having opinions about, but have you listened to the S1 commentary and some of the interviews around that time? there's something more there) and that kind of just spilling over onscreen and it working for the editor because it makes BC look sexy.

I mean look, I make no secret of the fact I started off shipping Sherlock with John almost exclusively (though I'd read just about anything), and after S1 aired it was just a different time. I get really annoyed when people talk shit about the pairing and the people who still ship them, because most of them weren't even in the fandom at the time and didn't have the same experience as the OGs. When Series 1 aired, hardly anyone knew who BC was, and Martin was just the guy from The Office and some other shows that were kind of unremarkable; most of the fandom was composed of old-school ACD Sherlockians and a few stragglers (like me) that got there from Doctor Who or were just general mystery/ thriller fans that got sucked in. We had a different perception of it because we weren't led into it by Star Trek or Hobbits or MCU; the characters didn't have that baggage attached for us. A lot of us already had a perception of Holmes and Watson as some shade of gay, so it was no great leap to see the very obvious romance (and yes, they all called it that in interviews at the time) onscreen as a romantic one. Martin, when asked, said basically that he'd play the next series (S2) however they wrote it, and if romance was there he'd go down that road. Whatever, I don't need to defend it because people think what they think anyway.

Anyway, getting back to the actual question instead of a million tangents and rants, I think I saw a lot of the things that have since become like backbone tropes of the pairing (even in canon, with the whole “alone, practical about death” thing). Their interactions in S2 were great; everything hinted at more than what was on-screen. And I really liked the idea of exploring the dynamic that was pretty much already there, as far as Molly having both a crush and self-respect and Sherlock suddenly having to rely on this person (that he picked because she was reliable to begin with) who's a friend, but also kind of a stranger in the way that a lot of the people we consider friends are (at least, friends made in adulthood; work-friends, church-friends, club-friends, gym-friends). Past that, I really saw the potential for character growth stemming from their interactions, but not like her humanizing him or whatever; both of them gaining insight about themselves, with the other person (and their relationship) as a vehicle for those realizations. I think I could have done better on that front, but hindsight blah blah.

satin_doll: How familiar were you with the Sherlock Holmes character before the BBC series aired, and what made you want to write about him?

sunken_standard: So I wasn't very familiar at all. Just what was in the general cultural lexicon, maybe a few episodes of the Granada series on PBS as a kid, a few of the stories that I just couldn't get into when I tried to read them because I hate Victorian prose (hate it, everything about it, I won't read anything written before 1920 or so because I just hate it [Wilde being the singular exception, but I even get bogged down by him]). Oh, and the RDJ movie, which wasn't really Sherlock Holmes to me, but just like a Victorian-era action movie. After S1, I just devoured canon (though, full disclosure, I still haven't read all of it, probably only about 80%), then moved on to other adaptations and canon-era fic and pastiches, read a bunch of extra-canon material on the internet. So as far as that goes, I'm very much a poseur and newbie in the greater Sherlock Holmes fandom. At least I did my research?

Anyway, it really took the modern adaptation and BC's performance to make the character resonate with me. The aspects he chose to play up—the frustration and impatience and frantic mental energy—just hit a nerve. He really channeled the “gifted” experience (which I suspect was just a lot of BC himself bleeding through). Finally I could use a fictional character to bemoan how stupid everyone around me was and sound like a complete asshole and be completely in-character! The heavens smiled upon me.

Really though, I was initially attracted to how cerebral it was and how smart the fandom was overall. It was the early fandom (and I mean early, like days after episode 1 aired) that drew me in, at least to a participatory (vs. consumptive) level. Lots of very clever, very educated, very queer people having these deep, insightful discussions about everything (sometimes only tangentially related to the show). When I did start writing, I didn't have to dumb anything down; the challenge was to sound smarter than I actually am. And, I mean, I got to dredge up a lot of my own emotional baggage from being a perpetual outsider, which is always cathartic (and probably not very healthy, long-term, because it's not resolving anything, just exploiting myself, but that's a can of worms).

satin_doll: Are you more drawn to Sherlock or Molly as a character, or both equally? Why?

sunken_standard: Sherlock, I think, for the reasons described in the last question.

I don't generally identify with female characters in fiction, since my own identification as female is tenuous (and in general they're poorly written and poorly realized, but that's another story). I mean, I can draw from my own experiences as a (mostly) female-shaped person with female socialization, but I have a hard time intuiting feminine and it's harder for me to write a “normal” woman.

Paraphrasing something I read in an interview with another fic author I admire, writing a woman is always a self-portrait, and how much of yourself do you really want to reveal? Since I don't know how to woman correctly, I'm always afraid I'm going to slip up and hit the wrong beat for what a normal woman is and end up ruining the characterization. I do manage to channel a lot of my own frustrations with men, relationships, being a single and childless woman over 30, and the patriarchy into Molly's character, though.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I really love Molly (and always have—I was one of the first to use her as a main character and not just a punching bag or a punchline). I love her sense of humor and her job and her fashion sense, all of it. She's not one-dimensional. It's just easier for me to write Sherlock than it is to make decisions about who Molly is.

satin_doll: You are “internet famous” for Longer Than the Road (rightfully so!) What about that story do you think is so affecting for fans? How has “Road” influenced subsequent work you’ve done in the Sherlolly ship?

sunken_standard: You know, I'm really not sure why it seems to resonate with people. Maybe the homesickness or the exhaustion that comes with impermanence (and I mean, we all feel that on an existential level, everything's always changing and it's faster every year, just existing is like trying to walk in an earthquake). Or the healing/ recovery aspect of it (I tried to balance both sides, the affected and the caregiver). Or maybe I just wrote it at the right time (when there wasn't much else out there) and people kept coming back to it because it was familiar.

As for how it's influenced subsequent work... I'm sure it has, but I don't know how, exactly. I still think it's the best thing I've ever written and the closest to something literary I'll ever get, so in a way it's an albatross (no one ever wants to be reminded that they already peaked). I get frustrated when my newer work doesn't live up to the standard I set for myself with it. That frustration doesn't make me a better writer, it just makes me tired, so everything I do now is paler.

One thing it did do was cement my characterizations of Sherlock and Molly and the dynamic between them. I tend to write them a certain way and don't deviate from that, and that all has roots in the push-pull, love-hate thing I established in Longer Than the Road. I can't write Molly without a degree of contempt for Sherlock and I can't write Sherlock without a degree of shame and contrition in his feelings toward Molly.

satin_doll: How does feedback affect what you write? How important is it? Is it more important that a reader “get” the point of the work or just that they like it? What kind of reader do you write for?

sunken_standard: I try not to let feedback affect my writing. I mean, I only get positive feedback, really, so it's a high. I'm not trying to brag or anything; I count myself lucky that I don't get the shit others do (though I honestly think anybody that posts on The Pit is opening themselves up to it because it's a garbage dump, but I've never liked the site, so). I try not to let it go to my head or anything though.

I also try not to let it influence the direction my writing takes; I might do a comment fic or write a silly HC or something, but I like to keep my substantial pieces pure, so to speak. Though sometimes a comment sparks something and a whole other fic grows out of it, so I fail there, I guess. Sometimes it's a lot of pressure when people say they want to see more of something, or want me to write a kind of specific scenario, so I usually just don't, and then I feel bad about not giving nice people what they want and it starts this whole weird spiral of guilt and obligation and then swinging the other way and getting (internally) belligerent over not owing anybody anything. I uh, have a complicated relationship with my work being acknowledged in any capacity.

As for people “getting” it... I don't know if they really do or not. Sometimes I get comments and I can tell they're definitely on my wavelength and they picked up on an allusion or a detail or just saw or felt everything in the scene like I did when I was laying it out. Once in a while I get a comment that has a different interpretation than what I was trying to get across, and that's really cool because it makes me re-examine my own work and see it from a different perspective (which I think makes me stronger for the next thing). It's really validating when someone “gets” it, but at the same time, I write to entertain other people (as well as myself), so as long as they like it, I feel accomplished.

It's cliché, but I write for an audience of one. I've tried to write outside my taste and it doesn't end well. Sometimes I write tropes that aren't my bag (like the Wiggins “the Missus” thing, or kidfic/ pregnancy), but it's kind of like a nod and wink to people who do like it, rather than outright pandering. At least, that's what I tell myself. Sometimes you need to try on every bra in your size, even the ones you know you hate, just to make sure you're getting the right one, y'know?

satin_doll: Do you think fanfic has changed since you began writing it? If so, how?

sunken_standard: Yeah, but I don't think it's a good or bad thing. And it depends on where you look and what you consume.

In the last like five years, Tumblr's purity culture has shamed a lot of kink back into the closet, I think, and people (in my fandoms, at least) aren't really writing on the edge. I see darkfic, but it's about as dark as the night sky over Hong Kong. I think people are afraid to go really dark anymore because they don't want the backlash from a generation fed on a diet of pink princesses and promise rings. And I think everyone's desire for happy-ending escapism has ratcheted up because the real world is shit and TV shows are all playing Russian roulette with surprise deaths to add drama (thanks, The Walking Dead, for making that element so ubiquitous that the rest of the mainstream picked it up and ran).

On the other hand, I'm not seeing near the amount of badfic as I used to. It was never as much of a problem on the old platforms and AO3 (compared to The Pit), but there were always some. I mean, there are still lots of turds out there, but they all seem a bit more polished these days. As far as the English goes, at least. Maybe my fandoms are just maturing.

I think people interact a lot differently now, too. This is going to kind of tie into the next question, but the types of feedback are different now and I think authors have changed what and how they produce to kind of chase the dragon of positive feedback. Like, when I started, most public archives (read: not just one author's own website with all their fic, like you found in webrings a lot)—both completely open and curated—had some way to submit comments and allowed author replies. There was really no other way to let an author know you liked their work. I mean, some sites tracked numbers for bookmarking features or hit counts, but those weren't as... active(? I guess), they weren't really participatory for the reader.

Then AO3 came along and started the kudos thing (which people still bitch about because they think they get fewer comments; like be happy you get anything, ya fuckin' ingrates). Kudos count became a de facto rating system, thanks to the sort feature. Whenever I start reading for a new fandom, I pick a pairing, pick a rating, and sort by kudos. Sure, popularity isn't the best way to find good fic, but in any decent-sized fandom you can assume that the stuff on the first page is going to be written to a minimum standard. Anyway, one of the ways to game the system a bit on kudos is to do a multichapter fic; I've seen works that are like 80+ 200-word chapters (don't get me started on omnibus fic across fandoms). They aren't the best fic by far, but they pick up kudos every chapter, often from guests that are just people not signed in or on a different device. I'm not knocking it, exactly, since it front-paged me for more than one fic. Part of me still feels like it's disingenuous, but I also recognize that I should pull the stick out of my ass. Anyway, the kudos count was kind of the death of the one-shot longfic (which, when I wrote Longer Than the Road, was a pretty common format).

And now, it seems like the Tumblr fic culture is writing ficlets (under 1k words) and posting without a beta (and I do it too). Fic consumption has become a social activity. Reblogs aren't always about one's personal taste, they're a social signal of group affiliation. If you don't reblog certain things, you're suspect and given a wide berth. Woe betide the poor fucker that crosses party lines and posts one of the verboten ships. And I mean, this isn't just one fandom, I've seen complaints about it from all corners—Supernatural, Star Wars, MCU, Steven Universe ffs. I think when you have predominantly female spaces, you're always going to have an element of Mean Girl culture, y'know? I'm probably going to get my fingernails pulled out for being misogynistic or some kind of -phobic for saying that.

Whatever. It's true that a kind of hive-mind develops and all kinds of tropes and HCs get repeated until they become fanon. I mean, that kind of thing's always happened, but the whole culture of Tumblr forces you to identify yourself and your group affiliation by what fanon you subscribe to, probably because it's harder to find your tribe without dedicated community spaces like LJ had. With Tumblr, you basically have to trawl tags until you find your echo chamber.

I'm old and I fear change.

Tumblr ain't all bad, though. It's very collaborative, kind of like the old-school round-robin fic people used to do. Authors and artists riff off each other and a lot of really cool stuff comes out of these casual collaborations. And I do like the prompt lists; I remember kinkmemes and prompting communities back on LJ, but it feels more off-the-cuff and spontaneous to just give someone a numbered list and let them roll the dice for you.

You know what else has changed? We're kind of in a new era of epistolary storytelling with memes and shitposts; stories emerge that aren't prose (though might contain a prose element). I mean, people did mixed-media epistolary in 2008, but it was a lot harder then (create graphic, hand-code into text piece, hand-code all the italics and bolding and font changes to denote various media types, if you're really a wizard add in-line text links to audio clips to add ambiance). It's a lot easier to add a new thing on each reblog now, like someone does a video, followed by a 3-panel comic sketch, followed by a ficlet, and then a gif, you get the idea. I like it; it's just a shame that it's so ephemeral. Maybe that's part of the charm, though.

satin_doll: You’ve talked a bit about your experience with LiveJournal in the “old days”; what other platforms have you used in the past? Which ones did you like best?

sunken_standard: I went into it a little in another question, but I first posted fic to A Teaspoon and an Open Mind (www.whofic.com). Honestly, I don't remember much about it. I'm not sure, but I don't think they had a richtext editor at the time (2008) and I had to hand-code some or all of it. I vaguely remember having to do HTML for italics and paragraphs. I know I had to do that on LJ sometimes because the formatting from whatever word processor I was using at the time did some hinky shit sometimes on a copy/paste.

Next came LiveJournal (and DreamWidth, but I really only used that to back up my old LJ blog). It wasn't better than Teaspoon, just different. Teaspoon is niche, only fanfic and only for one fandom (well, one universe of fandoms, really, with all the spin-offs), where LJ was all kinds of stuff under one roof—personal blogs, communities with various intents and levels of participation, fanfic, fanart, gossip blogs, you name it. I liked the friendslist view thing; it was like proto-Tumblr. And you could talk to people on the threads; even personal blogs were like a forum.

I joined AO3 in 2011, after waiting like six months for more invites to open up, but I didn't post anything there until 2012. I'm really happy with it as a platform for posting fic. I like the editor and I like the tags, ratings, and sort features. I never even considered posting to ff.net because I'm a snobby fucker (and they can blow me with their whole “adult content ban” that still continues to be selectively enforced). Anyway, I preferred having my fic on AO3 before I even left LJ, since I didn't have to split my stories into parts because of character limits.

And then Tumblr took over and I kind of hate it, since you can't have conversations anymore, it's like leaving passive-aggressive post-its and there's no editing something once it gets reblogged, so typos and bad links and all that are always there. And even when the original is deleted, the reblog keeps going, which I really hate from a creator's standpoint (though the archivist/ curator part of me likes it because it doesn't get lost in the ether [the recent purge notwithstanding] like so much of the early days of the web did). Tumblr's really bad for posting anything but ficlets and links to fic on other sites.

satin_doll: What would your ideal fanfic publishing platform be like?

sunken_standard: Honestly, AO3 is just about as close to ideal as I can think of. I just wish you could directly upload images instead of having to do code jiggery-pokery to link to something hosted elsewhere. I've tried a million times and followed all the tutorials in an attempt to add the cover art to Longer Than the Road (gifted to me by @thecollapseinwonderland), but it just never works. It shows on the preview, but not on the live version and it's frustrating because I'm computer literate, goddamnit. Anyway. And I mean, in an ideal world there would be better ways to find quality fic to my taste, but there's no real way to add a rating system (like 5-stars) independent of kudos without discouraging authors (and I mean the potential for abuse and bullying is just too great).

Additional reader questions from @ohaine:

Stylistically, Longer than the road is quite different from the other fics at the top of the AO3 Sherlolly ratings; stream of consciousness at the beginning, and the nested internal thoughts. How much of that was a deliberate departure, and how much was you just channelling the story as it came out of you?

sunken_standard: At the time I was really influenced by a Sherlock/ John fic (I can't remember the title or author, it was 7 years ago, but I feel bad about forgetting). It was originally on LJ and their journal was a lightish blue color and the font was small (if anybody remembers this... there was something with an EKG and I think something with shooting up blood as a romantic gesture?). It was Sherlock POV and the author had a really unique way of presenting internal monologue. Anyway, at that time there was a lot of experimental writing going on on the slash side of things, it was great. To be perfectly honest, I hadn't read a lot of Sherlolly fic at that time because what did exist (as far as happy-ending/ happy-for-now stories vs like darkfic/ angst) was really, really not to my taste (the exception being Sustain). So it was only deliberate in that—even when I wasn't being experimental—I didn't want to write Harlequin books.

I wish a story like that would just come out of me. I mean, to a degree it did, but doing the thoughts and sub-thoughts was work. I mean, I've always been a brackets-and-footnotes kind of person because I like reading it, but the way I did the thoughts was more like writing HTML than a regular rambling narrative.

I think I read recently (maybe on a blog post?) that Riders on the storm was the original inspiration for Longer than the road. Was the scene in the storm your starting point with the story, or where did you begin?

sunken_standard: That was the first scene I wrote; at that time I had a really nebulous idea of the story. The imagery was really clear in my head, though the very earliest concept took place in the desert—the classic American image of the road going on forever and rusty sands and the heatwaves rising up off the asphalt. I'm not sure how it morphed into North Dakota, I might have seen a picture of lightning over the plains or something.

So after S2 aired, I just kind of sat and chewed it over for a month before any really strong ideas emerged for a story. I had to find the internal logic for the kind of plot I wanted to write—namely, them on the lam together. Making Sherlock have a breakdown seemed pretty natural at the time; in ACD canon (and many, many pastiches) he was always having them and going off to the country to recuperate. But he was supposed to be dead and he was all over the tabloids, so it's not like he could just move to some sleepy little village and hope no one recognized him.

I thought about sending him to Europe, using the places ACD Holmes went after Reichenbach (and I did start more than one with them in Florence, a few incarnations of which were Molly/ Irene wanklock PWPs, I actually think one of the Rusty Beds stories came from that, but I digress). The only problem with Europe is the language barrier; I thought it was too convenient to make Molly fluent in another language (she might have some conversational Spanish from a holiday or something, but that's it), so I had to make them go somewhere where English was common enough. I also didn't want them too far from the UK; I wanted Sherlock to be able to get on a plane and be back within half a day (I realize this isn't the reality of flying, but deus ex Mycroft, so). So Asia, Australia/ NZ, and even South Africa were out, leaving Canada, the US, or parts of the Caribbean. I didn't want them to by happy, so they didn't go to the Caribbean. Canada's great, but it's too nice and they also don't have deserts. America it was; it also really added some background tension because I think a lot of non-USians have a love-hate with us. Movies are okay, music too, and of course the tech and consumer innovations, but everything else is garbage and we're all just rude, ignorant, obese Yosemite Sams. For someone like Sherlock, I think the US is the last place he'd want to go (even though canon ACD Holmes was really into America). And I mean, write what you know, so that was that sorted.

Once I got them here I needed them to do something; I wanted to tell a very intimate story, and that would be boring if they were just living in a 2BR cape cod in Jersey. And I mean, what city would really suit Sherlock? Where could he have a life that wasn't London? Anyway, the inside of a car is just about as intimate as two people can get, and the greatest tradition in American literature and film is the road trip, and that was when I knew I had a solid foundation for a story. After that, it just kind of flowed as I planned the route.

Perfect, not perfect-perfect is a beautiful, brave piece that I think has a real air of authenticity to it. It was a very tough read, purely because of the journey the characters are on, and I wondered how difficult it was for you to write? Was it catharsis or an emotional black hole?

sunken_standard: You know, I'm not really sure if it was either catharsis or black hole. A lot of the particulars and even the emotional places in that story aren't mine, but an amalgam of some other friends' experiences with polyamory. My own experience with it was pretty shit and pretty unremarkable, but I learned a lot about the human heart and how some people can lie to themselves because they can't let go of their ideals and their identities (I'm also still a little bitter), but that's got nothing to do with the price of tea in China, so moving on.

Since a lot of those experiences weren't mine, it wasn't raw, so it wasn't very hard on me, personally. I think I wrote it in like three days? I don't think I wanted it to be a slog, so that's why it's in present tense and very sparse and matter-of-fact. Dispassionate, even. There are times when I'm writing really emotional stuff that I'm disconnected from it (which is a fuckin' mercy, because most of the time I'm right there going through it, over and over for days sometimes until I get the scene right and can move on to the next thing), and this was one of those times. I was writing this alongside the Girlfriend series, so there was some overlap there; I'd already done the emotional labor for everything up to Mary's death and I was thinking of different angles of approach for later installments of the series.

The most “me” part of it is near the beginning, writing my way around the bisexual experience from someone else's point of view. I don't have a lot in common with any of the characters; they're a higher social class, urban, products of a more liberal culture, yada yada, but there are some things that are just kind of universal and misunderstood about bisexuals, the stereotypes that we have to contend with and end up internalizing.

Oh, and the perpetual alienation is all me, too. Molly's feelings of being left behind are mine, how I felt every time friendships drifted apart or when female friends got married and then had kids. So a lot of the fatalism and insecurity are me projecting how I would feel or react. I kind of like depressed Molly, more than the perpetual ray of sunshine/ cinnamon roll at least.

*********

Many thanks to sunken_standard for taking the time to answer these questions!

And many thanks and much love to OhAine for all her hard work putting this project together! It’s been fun and enlightening!

Next week, Friday 29th March, it’s the turn of @ellis-hendricks and @geekmama

#content creator interviews #sherlolly #Sherlock #ashockinglackofsatin #sunken_standard

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twdmusicboxmystery · 4 years ago

Text

10x22: Here’s Negan - Details

All right. Here are a LOT of details.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x22. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

We start with Maggie and Hershel walking around Alexandria early in the morning. She calls him “a little rat” affectionately, which I’m side eying. Because of Carol’s rat last episode and because we already established parallels between Hershel and Beth from ep 17 in that he went missing and Maggie and Daryl searched for him.

Then they sing “you are my sunshine” together, which is the same song Carl sang Negan. Because the sun is a Beth symbol, we’ve always seen her in that song. I also wonder if it foreshadows Maggie losing Hershel in some way. I don’t mean him dying, but rather being kidnapped. A lot of us have thought about one or some of the kids being taken at some point, and their parents having to search for them.

Carol looks out a broken window (Broken Glass Theory) and sees the exchange. So, she leaves Alexandria and takes Negan with her.

Actually, the next thing we see is a dead rabbit she pulls from a snare. The rabbit is SUPER interesting. I answered an Ask HERE about the moon rabbit, and I really love this explanation of the symbol. It makes perfect sense for Beth because the moon rabbit sacrificed itself, which is exactly what Father Gabriel said cryptically in 5x16. “How you sacrificed one of your own….”

Plus the Moon rabbit is resurrected and combines the moon symbol and the rabbit symbol.

So what does it mean in this context?

Well, I still don’t want to go into too much detail, though I will soon. (I promise.) But if rabbit = Beth, I think this is yet another example of symbolism that points to Negan and Beth having a big arc together later. (And Carol will probably be thrown into the mix.)

That evening, Negan drinks by the fire. What he’s drinking is clearly moonshine. It’s from one of those big glass moonshine bottles. I don’t know where he got it. I looked a second time at the stuff they left for him, and it might be in there, but if so, it isn’t visible. It would certainly be interesting if Daryl left him moonshine, but I don’t see any super-obvious hint at that. If it’s already there in the cabin, well, that’s Leah’s cabin, so….

This is where he sees his old self from the trailer. Some of the dialogue jumps out at me as things Daryl might say about himself. Evil Negan says to his good self, “You are nothing without her.” That sort of thing.

The next day he goes back to the tree with the stained-glass windows where Rick cut his throat. One of the plate glass windows has a hole in it and the other one is lying on the ground.

My go-to explanation of course is that the one with the hole represents the bullet hole in Beth’s head. (We actually said this of the stained-glass window in Father Gabriel’s church that Sasha shoots a hole in in 5x16 as well.) And I always see someone falling down as a serious injury. So, when Beth belly-flopped in the elevator shaft with Noah, that was a foreshadow of her getting shot. So I’m kind of seeing the window lying flat on the ground in the same way.

Of course, Negan digs up Lucille, and then it goes into the flashbacks.

It starts of course with him being a prisoner of the biker gang. We do think this gang is a parallel of the Claimers from S4. Remember that I said, overall, Negan = Daryl, right? So, this guy (Craven) even kind of looks like Joe Claimer. They dress in a similar fashion, are rough-and-tumble kind of dudes. But also, Negan runs into them after he loses Lucille. He doesn’t realize she’s died at that point, but she has. Just like Daryl ran into the Claimers after being separated from Beth in Alone.

And we immediately see a blue cooler with IV bags inside. They’re Lucille’s chemo treatments. So blue cooler/Frosty Cola symbolism. Plus this can parallel to 6x06 when Daryl accidentally took off with Tina’s medicine when he met Dwight. Basically, these are both pointing to the same thing: a future arc involving Daryl and Beth. There are also 22s on the IV bags. So, 22 theory.

I will say that the format of this episode is a lot like 10x18 because so much of it is flashback. They even use the same font to show the time jumps. The main difference is that with Daryl, they started 5 years ago and then jumped forward, toward the present. Here, they actually move backward first and then forward again.

So it’s like a swinging pendulum. They go back 12 years to where he’s a prisoner of the bikers. Then it goes back 6 weeks to when he’s with Lucille in their home , and then it jumps back again to before the apocalypse when she first found out she had cancer, which was right about the time the turn happened. And then it moves forward to the two of them together in the house, and then back to him with the bikers.

Okay, so, “12 Years Ago” he’s telling his story to the bikers.

Then it actually says “Two or Three Days Ago” and it’s odd to me that they don’t specify which one it is. Negan says he found the mobile medical clinic 2 or 3 days ago, but there’s got to be a reason they don’t just go with one or the other. Anyway, this is when he found an RV with supplies. He tries to hold the doctor up and Laura (Savior) comes up behind him with a bat and hits him.

We also get a bit of a hallucination theme. When Negan looks at the RV and the dummy guards on the roof, his sight sort of warps in and out like he can’t tell for sure. When he wakes up, he’s also hooked to an IV. (Parallel to Beth at Grady.) The doctor says he was dehydrated, malnourished, and exhausted. So maybe, in addition to all the mental break stuff we’ve already said about Daryl in 10x18, we should add these to the list.

“Six Weeks Earlier” and it shows him and Lucille. The first thing we see is that she tells him he’ll have to kill the walker but he doesn’t want to. He just turns off the generator, hoping it will go.

So, she makes him read Pride and Prejudice to her. The Pride and Prejudice thing is really interesting. He only reads a line or two, but anyone familiar with the story will be able to pick out the scene. Basically, in the story, a man asks Lizzie to marry him and she rejects him. He doesn’t love her or anything. He’s just looking for a “suitable” wife, and she can’t stand him. After she rejects him, her best friend marries him instead. And this friend doesn’t care that it’s not a love match. She just wants to be settled in life.

So the scene Negan reads part of is where the friend, Charlotte, is coming to tell Lizzie that she’s marrying him instead. This is the part Negan reads:

"I see what you are feeling," replied Charlotte. "You must be surprised, very much surprised--so lately as Mr. Collins was wishing to marry you. But when you have had time to think it over…”

Here’s the thing. No way they’re putting dialogue from such a well-known book like this into the show without reason. And I know they said on TTD that it’s supposed to be an Easter Egg for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Fair enough, but it’s not enough of an explanation for me. In the past, there have been things Nicotero has labelled as homages to various horror films, and I’m sure that’s true, but they’re also clearly Beth symbolism.

So, you could say that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies applies to Negan and Lucille. It’s a true love story, but zombies are thrown in. That works. But why this particular passage? It’s about NOT marrying for love, or the passing of a man’s offer of marriage from one woman to another. None of that applies to Negan and Lucille. It would have made more sense to have him read a different passage between Lizzie and Darcy, you know?

So, what does this mean? We’re not entirely sure, yet. For me, I tend to think it foreshadows a future arc (I’m sure you’re shocked) and I’ll get more into that in the next few days.

@wdway suggested perhaps we could apply it to the Leah situation. Daryl is in love with one woman, but hallucinating a relationship with another. I think that works, too. For now, let’s just keep it in mind, shall we? ;D

Dialogue parallels include Lucille saying, “we’ll have to kill it,” which parallels Beth saying the same thing about the walker at the moonshine shack.

And of course then we get that all important scene with the green wig, “serious” mention, IV stand and bag, and walker in the eye.

We see Negan going out to look for more gas for the generator, siphoning it out of cars.

We also see them having fun together. Obviously them playing darts is a callback to Still. The part where they play darts is actually just like half a second in the show, which just goes to show that they did the promo shot because they wanted us to see the symbols in the scene. I want to draw everyone’s attention to the fact that the British flag is printed on the darts. This is part of the template I’ll talk about in a day or two as well. For now, I just want you to notice it. It’s important.

When they do the candlelight dinner (*coughs alone*) they eat DOG food. Sirius reference. She suddenly says “happy anniversary” and pulls out a present for him. He says, “You know what day it is?” and she says, “no, I just wanted you to have this.” So I think the idea is that it’s not really their anniversary. She just said that as an excuse to give him a present. It reminded me a little of the “New Years Eve” theme we saw around the Claimers. Not exactly the same, but a similar vibe. It’s not REALLY New Year’s Eve. They’re just saying it as an excuse to do something else (in that case, kill Rick). Here, it’s not really their anniversary, but Lucille is saying that as an excuse to give him the jacket.

When Negan says she doesn’t owe him anything Lucille says, “I stuck with you because I could always see the man you are right now, even when you weren’t.” So again, kind of a Beth theme of seeing the best in him even when he doesn’t see it in himself. That’s a huge theme throughout this episode.

There’s more refrigerator/cooler symbolism when the fridge defrosts, ruining the last of Lucille’s treatments.

Then it jumps back to before the apocalypse. There were some symbols here as well. The main ones I noticed were specifically around Lucille. After her diagnosis, she gets in the car and hears the broadcast about the virus victims eating human flesh. Kind of a callback to hearing the Terminus broadcast in 4a.

Then she gets mad and says, just play some g**d*** music. (Music reference.) When the car pulls out, you have to check out this license plate!

XVD-1144. The 1-1 you should recognize from @frangipanilove’s 1-1 posts. The 44 references the comic book issue where Andrea was shot in the head, and survived. And of course there’s the X. So then @wdway had the ingenious idea to ask what roman numerals X and D stood for. X=5 and D=500. So we basically have “X, 550, 1-1, 44.” Yeah, series number 55 was Slabtown. Beth was on the 5th floor. And all the rooms around them in the hallway at Grady were in the 550s. If that’s not proof that Lucille is a Beth proxy, I don’t know what is.

Plus, notice the type of car: mustang. We’ve talked about this before, but horse symbolism, and the type of car is always important.

Another thing @wdway with her eagle eyes picked up. Lucille is scrolling back and forth between Negan and Janine’s numbers, right? Notice the date:

November 12. Recognize that:

Yeah, not kidding. It’s a reference to the headstone in Alone. 👀

Back in the future again, Lucille asks Negan to stay with her. You don’t realize this the first time watching it, but clearly she’s ready to die, and just wants him to be with her, but he’s bound and determined to save her, an goes anyway.

A couple of things to point out. Negan looking for meds parallels to Daryl looking for meds at the veterinary college in 4a. Also, on TTD they pointed out that Negan is constantly putting Lucille in a position to be alone. Before the apocalypse, he left her alone to fool around with another woman, who was her best friend. He made her go to the doctor alone. (Lucille alone at the hospital could = Beth at Grady.) We see him constantly leaving her here to get supplies. And he leaves for like 6 six weeks to track the mobile clinic.

I think that’s mostly an anti-parallel to Daryl. Daryl never left Beth intentionally. But I also think it could be a future theme, not in the sense that Daryl will leave her, but I’ve always thought he would feel super guilty because they left her behind and now she’s been “alone” for 8 years. And again, not physically alone as we know she’ll be part of other groups and such, but without him and her family.

Back with the medical people again, Laura gives Negan her bat, the one she first beaned him with, since he doesn’t have any other weapons.

All they said about Laura on TTD was that they wanted to use her—someone the audience would recognize—but also someone who had a relatively minor role. So they talked about how they could have brought Austin Amelio on and had Dwight give it to him, but because Dwight is a bigger character, and because his onscreen relationship with Negan was much bigger, it would have made it a Negan/Dwight moment and they wanted to keep this episode focused solely on Negan and Lucille. So they used Laura.

And sure, that’s fine. But they could have used any Savior they wanted. And why did they even WANT a familiar face? Why the return of the Savior with the blond hair, you know? I’m just saying. ;D

Of course Negan tells the biker gang where the medical RV is and then goes back to Lucille, but she’s already dead. This really was a very tragic episode.

We obviously have a suicide theme here, and the fact that Negan never actually shoots or stabs Lucille in the head, both of which parallel Beth.

On TTD, YNB even pointed out that she’s wearing the same clothes as she was the day he left, which means she committed suicide the day he left. Most of the 6 weeks he’s been out looking for medical supplies, she was already dead. Super tragic, no?

We also see keys, matches, the blue cooler again, and Negan wrapping the barbed wire around his bat.

So, a couple of preliminary thoughts here. The 6 weeks was bugging me because they said it 2 or 3 times, really emphasizing it. I’m kind of wanting to equate it to 6 seasons. Because if Beth doesn’t show until S11 (and clearly now she can’t, unless she shows in Fear or something, but I’m not holding my breath for that) then it will be 6 seasons since Beth left the show.

And again, it’s more anti-parallel than parallel. For 6 weeks, Negan thought Lucille was alive, but she was dead the entire time. For 6 seasons, Daryl thought Beth was dead, when really she’s been alive the whole time.

And, of course, Negan burns the house down, much like Beth and Daryl did in Still.

But here’s the other thing @wdway noticed. Check out the similarities here:

Similar colors and structures, and both seem to be on fire at some point. And I don’t think the cabin in 5x09 was pointing toward Negan and Lucille. Rather, I think the symbolism in both instances point toward something we haven’t seen, yet. But the parallels and repeated symbolism are there.

When Negan leaves, he gets on his bike with Lucille (the bat) and drives away from the burning house. And interestingly, we see him smack his mailbox with it and knock it off it’s post.

Couple of things here:

The name “Smith” is written on the mailbox, so apparently that was their last name. And they mentioned it on TTD. Smith is such an everyman sort of name. It might be one of the most common surnames on the planet, so there’s definitely some interesting symbolism there having to do with Negan.

But I’m side-eyeing the actual mailbox, as part of the Communication Theme. And, on a very basic level, I’m thinking that the mailbox was intact when Lucille was still alive. He destroyed it after he lost her. So maybe it represents something along those lines, or even represents the person they lost. So mailbox = Beth.

The scene that keeps flashing in my head is from 6x03 when Daryl is riding around on his bike, searching for Rick, and he’s passing all these mailboxes in the background.

Then in 10x21, we see him walking toward the military walker on the train tracks (*coughs CRM, *coughs Rick*) and he passes the blond, Beth walker, but doesn’t actually look at her or see her. Do you kind of see the similar theme there?

Negan brutally killing the biker gang can parallel Rick doing the same to Joe Claimer in 4x16.

Negan tells Craven a story about how he lost his job. He got in a bar fight. It was their favorite because it had a JUKE BOX. And they loved the juke box because it played their favorite song (You are So Beautiful to Me.) He even talks about “seeing red” and how he now realizes he can do anything he wants (read: kill anyone he wants) so we kind of see his evolution into S6 Negan here.

And honestly, they leave a lot of loose threads here. We never learn what happens to Franklin (he’s still alive at this point) and obviously Laura stays with Negan long term, but they really could do more flashbacks about how he started gathering people and found the Sanctuary.

So then we come back to the present where he’s just dug Lucille up under the stained glass window tree. In the first scene at the beginning, we see a walker making its way toward him. Yes, it’s a blond, female walker, and I’m pretty sure she’s wearing Daryl’s shirt from when he was at the Sanctuary. Here at the end, Negan has been lost in his own thoughts so long, the walker comes up behind him and he turns around and kills it with Lucille.

When he does, the bat splits down the middle. Yet another symbol of Lucille’s death.

He goes back to the cabin and sits in front of the fire and talks to Lucille (both the bat and his actual wife). He says, “I’m sorry I left you…I made myself not feel anything…I miss you.” See how we could apply that to Daryl?

He also says, “I’m going to do your fighting for you,” which I take to mean he’ll honor her memory better, now, rather than go back to the old, evil Negan he was. Which was really just years of him avoiding his feelings about her death. (Kind of like Daryl has with Beth, hence the Leah situation.)

Then he covers the bat in a white cloth (clearly meant to be a shroud) and puts the bat in the fireplace, burning it. On TTD, they do say this is meant to be the funeral she never got. 👀

Oh, and at the end of the “in memoriam” on TTD, it actually says, “Negan is burning down his past.”

So, at the very end, he actually goes back to Alexandria. Maggie, Carol, and Daryl are near the entrance and he asks where the “A” team is going. Carol warns Negan that if he lives at Alexandria, Maggie will kill him at some point. I actually really liked this ending. It was a good way to kick us into S11.

That’s the end of the episode. So, I’ll say this again and it will be a good segue into my next post about what I think Beth’s arc will be in S11, and how she’ll appear. I’ll post it either tomorrow or Thursday.

Without getting too much into the weeds, I think Negan and Beth will have some major, future interaction. And I really think the symbolism here backs it up, for various reasons. The symbolism itself wouldn’t prove anything, as we’ve seen this stuff repeated with lots of different characters and especially true love couples, which Negan and Lucille clearly were, despite his cheating.

But on TTD, Hilarie Burton talked about how strong Lucille was. She said she liked the character because so often when cancer victims or victims of other prolonged diseases are portrayed on film, they’re seen as angelic, ethereal beings. And while that’s fine if that’s truly who they are, you don’t lose your personality just because you become sick. So she liked it that Lucille was a little rough around the edges. She says that even before the apocalypse, Negan was just fussy enough that he would need a strong woman to rein him in, and he would also be attracted to exactly this kind of strong woman.

Strong woman = Beth.

So, I’ll just leave it there.

Anyone find any symbols I missed?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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ladylynse · 6 years ago

Text

@queenofhearts7378 wanted to see another chapter of my Doctor Who/Psych crossover Glitches as part of her prize from my follower draw a while back.

Part IV of Glitches: Shawn Spencer isn’t really psychic. At least, he wasn’t last time he checked. But he doesn’t usually have a real vision, either. (set S5 for Psych, post S4 with Ten for the Doctor)

(Beginning | previous)

“Shawn, this is the fourth place we’ve tried,” Gus said, trying to be reasonable. “You’re looking for a needle in a haystack.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Gus,” Shawn said dismissively. “I’d never look for a needle in a haystack. People don’t lose needles in haystacks.”

“You know what I mean,” Gus said. “There’s no way we’re going to find this guy.” If he even existed. But Gus didn’t really want to say that, because he still hadn’t come up with a logical reason for Shawn seeing him in the first place. It wasn’t a dilemma for everyone else. Well, maybe for Shawn, which was why he was trying to find the guy, but since everyone else thought he was psychic, they didn’t know how freaky this really was.

He almost wished Shawn’s dad wasn’t out of town right now. Henry Spencer would probably come up with the logical explanation that they kept missing. Well, that he kept missing, at any rate. Shawn would probably accept any explanation, logical or not. It wouldn’t be the first time.

When Shawn’s phone started ringing, Gus rather hoped it was Juliet telling them to head back to the station. When Shawn looked at the caller ID and a grin spread across his face, Gus kept this assumption. Then, Shawn answered the phone, and Gus realized he was wrong. “Lassie!” Shawn crowed. “Long time, no see, buddy. What’s up? Gus and I were just admiring—”

“Cut the crap, Spencer.” If he leaned close enough to Shawn, Gus could hear Lassiter’s voice from here. “Get back to the station. You’ve got a visitor.”

“Really? Who’s that, then?”

“Just get back here.”

“Is it D—?” Shawn frowned and looked at his phone. “He hung up.”

“So back to the station?”

“To meet our mysterious visitor,” Shawn confirmed.

The trip didn’t take very long, all things considered. Gus trailed after Shawn as he waltzed into the station. Juliet and Lassiter were at their respective desks, both sifting through piles of paperwork. Shawn sat down on Juliet’s desk, grinning at her. “Didja miss me?” he asked.

Juliet looked up at him but didn’t smile back. “Tell me about your vision again, Shawn,” she said.

Gus decided this probably wasn’t a good thing. “Weren’t we supposed to meet someone?” he asked.

“You missed him,” Juliet said. “Shawn, please. Your vision?”

Shawn shrugged. “There’s not much to tell, unless you want a description of the guy again.”

“That’s not necessary, Spencer,” Lassiter said, coming over and dropping a file on Juliet’s desk. “We have a pretty clear idea of what he looked like.”

Shawn’s grin was turned on Lassiter. “So I have excellent abilities of description?”

“Um, Shawn?” Gus said, half under his breath, though he knew the others could probably hear him. “I think I know why we never found him.”

Shawn’s eyes widened slightly as he caught on. “He was here, wasn’t he?”

“He was here,” Juliet confirmed wearily. “He introduced himself as John Smith, but from what we can gather, everyone knows him as the Doctor.”

Gus knew the look on Shawn’s face quite well. When you’re friends with someone as long as he’d been friends with Shawn, you get quite good at reading their facial expressions. Right now, Shawn was thinking. Planning. Probably plotting. And, knowing Shawn, probably only planning one step ahead.

The fingers of Shawn’s right hand went to his forehead. “The Doctor,” he repeated, screwing his eyes shut. “That’s right. He doesn’t give anyone his real name.” Gus didn’t need to ask how Shawn had arrived at that conclusion; for one, John Smith just screamed alias. For another, according to Shawn, that was something the Doctor hadn’t answered when they’d talked.

However they’d managed to talk, that is.

“He came here because he’s researching the same case we are,” Shawn continued. “He—”

“Unless you’re going to tell us something we haven’t already found out,” Lassiter interrupted, “cut it out.” Shawn opened his eyes, looking a bit disgruntled as he dropped his hand. “O’Hara’s keeping tabs on him.”

“And he was looking for you,” Juliet added. “That might be why you saw him.”

“Wait, he was looking for Shawn?” Gus repeated. “How’d he know who he was?” Of course, according to Shawn, the guy did know who he was—he’d called him by name, after all—but still. Shawn seeing him in the first place was weird. The fact that the guy was real and not just the product of Shawn’s overactive imagination was creepy. And the fact that this Doctor was obviously looking for Shawn as earnestly as Shawn had been looking for him? Getting a bit closer to disturbing.

Shawn wasn’t psychic. So how the heck could he have seen this guy and had a conversation with him when he’d clearly never been there?

“He didn’t,” Lassiter said. “We showed him a picture. He didn’t have a clue who you were. McNabb said he’d heard of your reputation.” The scowl on Lassiter’s face made it clear what he thought of Shawn’s reputation, but after this last incident, Gus really felt it had to be misplaced.

What the hell was going on? Despite what Shawn said, Lassiter was good at what he did. Well, he could tell when people were lying, at any rate. Usually. He’d probably read this Doctor guy accurately, meaning he definitely hadn’t run into Shawn this morning and called him by name. Meaning that Gus still had no idea what had happened.

Of course, neither did Shawn, but that was beside the point. It was easy for everyone else to just believe that Shawn had had a psychic vision. But when that couldn’t be the explanation, what the heck was?

Shawn, who gave no sign of being plagued with similar thoughts, gave the two detectives an easy smile. “I suppose I should catch up with him, then.”

“Shawn,” Juliet began, looking hesitant, “we’re not exactly convinced he’s, well….”

“Sane,” Lassiter supplied, “so you two will probably get along just fine. He doesn’t seem to run around on much more than feelings, either.”

Shawn raised his eyebrows and looked at Juliet, who elaborated, saying, “He was convinced that something was wrong. He just said he wasn’t sure what. And I wasn’t questioning his sanity, Lassiter,” she added. “I was questioning his reliability.”

“Where did he say he was going?” Gus asked, knowing Shawn would want to follow. It was Shawn, after all. Besides, he was curious, too.

“He didn’t,” Juliet said. “But he does have my cell phone, so we can contact him if we need to.” She didn’t say it, but Gus knew it also meant they’d be able to track him if it came to that. “But while you’re here, Shawn, I want a written record of your vision. I want to look it over again. There has to be some significance to it beyond the Doctor simply turning up.”

Gus looked sideways at Shawn, who was looking thoughtful. Sort of. “Do you think he had anything to do with it?”

Shawn snorted. “Of course he didn’t have anything to do with it, Gus,” Shawn said. “Not in terms of killing Cunningham, anyway. Lassie here would’ve been able to spot that a mile off and wouldn’t have let him leave, right?”

Lassiter scowled. “We’re not ruling him out, Spencer. I don’t trust people who pretend to be someone they’re not.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Shawn muttered. But he picked up a pen and pad of paper from Juliet’s desk, saying, “Do you want it in point form or sentences?”

“I want all the details,” Juliet said. “If you don’t think you’ll forget something, just put it in point form.”

When Shawn had finished scribbling things down, he practically ushered Gus out of the police station. Gus, having received this treatment far too many times before, knew what was coming. “You saw something in there, didn’t you? Where are we going?”

“To Cunningham’s.”

“Cunningham’s?” Gus repeated. “You suddenly know where he lives, too?”

Shawn shot him a look. “Really, Gus? Really? Don’t you ever look at anything? It was in the file Lassie dropped onto Jules’s desk.”

Gus frowned. “That file was closed, Shawn.”

“But some of the papers slipped out the side; didn’t you see them? It was right in front of you.”

Gus rolled his eyes. “If you just saw an address, you don’t know if it’s Cunningham’s or not.”

“It’s not going to be anyone else’s,” Shawn pointed out. “They don’t have any witnesses to the actual crime, and if the guy was an inventor, he had to be holed up somewhere with his collection.”

“It might be the person who called it in,” Gus pointed out.

“For one, even if it was, they’d questioned him already. For another, I doubt people in that region of town call the cops very often. Keys?”

“You’re not driving, Shawn.”

Shawn huffed but mercifully didn’t argue—or try to grab the keys from him, which Gus knew he wasn’t above doing. Shawn settled into being the navigator, and Gus had to hope that they were actually going to the right address and not to, oh, the new smoothie shop that had just opened up. Not that he’d particularly mind a smoothie right now, but he was getting tired of being dragged everywhere by Shawn and having to pay for everything because someone had so conveniently ‘forgotten’ his wallet.

They’d been driving for maybe three minutes before Gus decided he should probably just ask Shawn what he thought about all the crazy things that had been happening, about seeing and conversing with someone who wasn’t there yet was real and had turned up, and about what the heck he thought might actually be going on.

Gus opened his mouth, and Shawn’s phone rang.

“Don’t tell me it’s Lassiter again,” Gus said instead, noting the surprise on Shawn’s face when he glanced over. Wouldn’t be Juliet, either, for that matter.

“It’s Dennis,” Shawn said before answering the call. “Hello?” A pause. “What? Seriously?” Another pause. “Really? You’re sure?”

Gus wasn’t sure about Dennis, but he was sure that he wouldn’t like what Shawn’s grin meant.

“Gus and I will be right over. We wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“Miss what?” Gus asked suspiciously.

“Hang a right up here,” Shawn said instead of answering. “It’s the fastest way to get to Dennis’s.”

“Why…why do we need to go there, Shawn? I thought we were looking into this case.”

“We are. This case just might now involve aliens.”

Gus pressed his lips into a thin line. He wasn’t going to argue. Aliens might explain Shawn’s apparent psychic episode. They’d just need to be careful, make sure they didn’t accidentally get carried away like last time. “What did he find? Electric disruptions? Ground disturbance?”

“Massive energy spike.”

Massive enough that Dennis thought it significant or he wouldn’t have called them. Gus wondered what else he’d found, but if Shawn knew, he wasn’t going to say. Aliens. This time, it might really be aliens.

Aliens were a lot more sane than his non-psychic friend suddenly becoming psychic.

XXXXXX

The Psych office was closed when he arrived, and the Doctor didn’t feel like sticking around to wait again, so he turned his attention to more pressing concerns. Namely, finding the technology that was making this little pocket of time skip like a broken record every once in a while.

He still had his read on his sonic screwdriver from earlier, so the Doctor pulled it out and started off at a run. He really shouldn’t have wasted so much time earlier. True, he’d been waiting for a fourth glitch, but it hadn’t come yet. And, yes, he had extracted a promise from Juliet to help him, and now he knew he had to look into the legitimacy of this Shawn Spencer, so his time hadn’t been wasted, per se, but he’d rather get to the bottom of whatever was messing with time sooner rather than later.

He’d been lucky that everything had been stable so far in terms of after-effects, but his luck didn’t tend to hold.

He kept waiting for that fourth skip of time to correct his direction and give him a more precise reading of where he needed to go, but as it turned out, he didn’t need it. He knew he was getting close when he felt the pressure building up. Well, not pressure, exactly. More like the feeling of the charged air before a thunderstorm. It meant he was on the right track.

The house outside of which the Doctor finally found himself was in a poorer neighbourhood, he’d guess. Well, if he was to guess by the state of upkeep, or rather the lack thereof. The door wasn’t even locked, though he suspected there was another reason for that, given the quality of the lock on the door.

Skulking outside of homes always led to misunderstandings, so the Doctor lost no time in sneaking inside the house. The inside didn’t look much better than the outside, though he supposed he ought to be thankful he didn’t have a companion with him to point out comparisons between his housekeeping skills and this man’s. Still. He could hear something humming, taste the energy building in the air, feel it prickling the hairs on the back of his neck.

He found the source in the basement.

“Oh,” the Doctor said softly, “you’re causing this trouble, aren’t you?”

The machine continued to hum.

On the surface, it didn’t look like much.

Of course, neither did the TARDIS. That was the point. People underestimated things. They didn’t always take the time to look beneath the surface.

The Doctor, however, was used to looking beneath the surface and rather enjoyed doing so. Things usually turned out to be much more interesting than they appeared to be. Not that this didn’t appear to be interesting; it did, very much so. It was a beautiful piece of work, if a bit rough. He was surprised it worked.

Well, given the way it was causing time to skip, perhaps work wasn’t the best word.

But still. It had an effect. The skill to contrive any effect on the timestream alone was admirable for humans in this time period.

Near as the Doctor could tell, it was a rudimentary time machine. To the untrained eye, it might look a bit more like a pile of assorted scrap stuck together and somehow managing to generate a whining hum, meaning something was working somewhere beneath the surface, but he saw more than that. Temporal sensors. Dimensional stabilizers. Quantum resonators. Not perfect, no. Not nearly. But they were still recognizable as early attempts at key processing equipment, at things needed for time travel to occur.

Unfortunately, the imperfections added up.

It was an admirable effort, but it was also a dangerous one.

The feedback alone….

No matter. It wouldn’t take much to fix. Well, actually, it would take a lot to fix, but he didn’t intend to fix it. On the contrary, he needed to break it and ensure that no one else managed to fix it. It being as unstable as it was, keeping this machine functioning would not be in his best interests. The temporal pressure in this area had already given him a dull headache.

Admittedly, he rather wanted to know how the machine worked. He’d seen various attempts humans had made at time travel in the past, with varying degrees of success. They wouldn’t really be completely successful for a long while yet, hadn’t quite created a reliable machine that generated its own power and would ensure the traveller arrived completely intact, in their own body, but it never ceased to amaze him to see what the human race came up with. To be fair, though, that DeLorean had managed the ‘travel outside of one’s own lifetime’ bit, unlike the particle accelerator experiment he’d run into, and both were safer than this.

But because he didn’t immediately know how this worked, it was interesting.

Grinning a little, the Doctor set to work.

XXXXXXX

“Molly’s out with the girls,” Dennis said as he led them through the house and into what had once been the secret room in his office. “I haven’t told her yet. Didn’t want to get her hopes up until I’ve run it by you two.” He slid into his office chair and spun around to face the screen. “Look, I know it’s not much to go on, but this?” He pointed to a graph open on his computer. “Electrical discharges like that aren’t normal.”

Gus squinted. “When was that?”

“This morning,” Shawn answered.

Dennis nodded. “Early morning. I have a program running in the background. It usually just picks up on power surges ahead of blackouts, but this time—”

“What about those?” Shawn interrupted, pointing to smaller blips on the graph that seemed a mite too high to be considered usual. He was trying not to get too excited about the fact that they were looking at proof that aliens existed. Proof that they could rub in Lassie’s face. And his dad’s. And—

“Echoes, maybe. It’s not consistent with a ship I’m familiar with. We might be looking at a new alien race.”

Gus let out a low whistle.

“Can you pinpoint where that was?” Shawn pressed. They were close. He could feel it. “Check cameras or something?”

“Way ahead of you. I’ve narrowed it down to a few blocks between North Voluntario Street and Alameda Padre Serra, but—”

“By East Haley?” interrupted Shawn, remembering the address he’d read.

“Possibly. I’m checking there, but I haven’t found—”

“You will.” Shawn straightened up and looked at Gus. “Aliens got to Cunningham,” he announced.

Gus frowned. “He was stabbed, Shawn.”

“They didn’t get to him recently,” Shawn said. “They abducted him years ago. Gave him those paranoid tendencies and whatever else all the witnesses noted. Why do you think he didn’t trust anyone? Why do you think he was an inventor, cobbling together parts? Because he’d seen the future, Gus. He’d seen alien technology.”

Understanding dawned in Gus’s eyes. “And when he was getting close to it being a reality, some intergalactic hitman came and offed him. Made it look like an ordinary stabbing to cover his tracks.”

Dennis was looking between the two of them. “There’s been an alien murder?”

“There’s an alien murderer,” Shawn corrected. “You picked up on its arrival to Earth.”

Dennis swallowed. “So if there hasn’t been an equal power surge—”

“Then it’s still here.” Gus shuddered. “I do not want to meet a murderous alien.”

“I’ll cross-reference the time of the spike with my satellite data again,” Dennis said. “If there’s a chance of a split-second arrival, that could explain how I missed it earlier. I’ll keep you guys posted.”

“And we’ll let you know if we find any futuristic technology in our investigation,” Shawn promised, ignoring the glare Gus sent him. It was hardly sharing case details with an outsider when the SBPD wouldn’t even know what they were looking at. It would be more…consulting an expert. And if Shawn knew anyone who was an expert on aliens, it was Dennis Gogolack.

XXXXXX

The Doctor yelped and jerked his hand back. He sucked on his burnt fingers, eyeing the sparking machine with more wariness this time. He’d expected to get a few shocks, but he’d thought he might make it through without any sparks flying. Apparently, he’d been wrong.

It was a complicated bit of machinery, though. It had no apparent off switch that he could find, and it was, for some reason, immune to sonic blasts from his screwdriver. Actually, he figured he might know that reason. The machine was generating a fair bit of power, building up bursts of temporal energy, but it was also producing enough residual energy to act as a shield to deflect his sonic bursts.

On the upside, that meant that the machine shouldn’t overload anytime soon and go out with a bang.

On the downside, it would also probably run for a while yet if it wasn’t in danger of burning itself out.

The Doctor circled the machine again, trying to see if he could spot something he’d missed before. He’d realized early on that this machine had been started up before it was finished. That was part of the reason it wasn’t working properly, with the other part simply being that the chances of it working in the first place were exceedingly slim, given the time period. Chances were, he couldn’t find a kill switch because that particular feature hadn’t been added in yet. At least, that’s what he was guessing. The circuit looked to have been forcibly connected further along. It would keep going until it ran out of power.

Given that the machine was regenerating its power supply as it ran, similar to the way a car battery recharged itself, he wasn’t sure he could wait that long.

Well. He knew he shouldn’t wait that long.

The Doctor tried reaching for a different set of wires this time, an inconspicuous pair near the front of the machine that nevertheless appeared to be important. He hoped they were part of a secondary system that would override the main one with a bit of help.

He was wrong.

The shock sent him stumbling backwards, stealing his breath away. His entire body ached with sudden pain, his head pounding with the rhythm of his hearts. Oh, that one had been ten, no, a hundred times worse than the last one. Ooh, he hadn’t felt this bad since he’d had lightning race through him.

The machine was, at least, running more quietly than before.

The Doctor snorted. It should be; it had let off enough energy with that particular burst. He ought to get a few pieces of equipment from the TARDIS before he tried shutting it down again. It was proving to be a rather temperamental machine that wasn’t returning his gentle touches in kind.

Speaking of the TARDIS, though….

The Doctor stiffened, alarmed, and carefully sent out a searching thought.

He came back with nothing.

He couldn’t feel her.

She wasn’t there.

He knew his connection with her hadn’t been severed. He could feel, distantly, another trace of her, somewhere, but it was the wrong one; his TARDIS, yes, but not his present TARDIS. That TARDIS, past or future, had her own Doctor. But his? He didn’t know where she was.

Scrambling to his feet, the Doctor took the stairs two at a time and bolted outside.

The sun was in the wrong position. It wasn’t even in the same spot as it had been when he’d entered the house, let alone further along in the sky as it should be. It was lower, hiding behind the buildings in the east.

The air itself attested to the sun’s absence, still faintly clinging to the cool of night.

The Doctor’s mouth twisted. At least he knew why he hadn’t been able to sense his TARDIS; she wasn’t here yet.

A quick round of investigating inside told him that the house belonged to the man he’d run into earlier—though, linearly speaking, it would be later now. Perhaps this was why the man, Jack Cunningham, had been in too much of a rush to given him better directions when he’d asked; his machine was running, and not running properly.

Granted, the front door was unlocked, even now. Perhaps Jack wasn’t yet aware that his machine wasn’t functioning correctly. He might not even know that it was on; someone else could have turned it on. They might even have wrecked it, though the Doctor somehow doubted that. The machine had been put together with competence but without a distinct plan. It was conceived from guesswork, plain and simple, and had all the flaws and glitches that befitted its status as a very early prototype.

Still. Whoever had been here was gone now, as far as he could tell, and he didn’t know whether they’d be back. He’d been given extra time here—unwittingly and rather unwillingly—so he might as well make the best of it and find out what he could. Even when the TARDIS did turn up, he couldn’t go to her immediately, and anyway, he might as well use the time he had to find out what he could.

He was unprepared for the first glitch when it came; he’d forgotten precisely when it would be coming, to be perfectly honest. He’d made it to a busier part of the city and found himself caught out in the crowd. It didn’t take him long to realize, though, that this time, things were a bit different for him. Perhaps it was the fact that he was living them twice, or perhaps that he was just a different sort of entity altogether and couldn’t be lumped in with everyone else, but he found that he had a bit of…influence.

He’d bumped into someone—all right, so he hadn’t exactly been looking where he was going—and caused the lady to drop the armful of pamphlets she’d been carrying. He’d apologized, helped her gather a few of the loose papers up, and started to move on, but then things had jumped back. It was a bit funny to see, really. In the time it took to blink—well, less, really—the original crowd was back on the sidewalk. All those steps people had taken had been drawn back, reversed. Caught, suspended, rewound, and now replayed.

Except for him—and the lady he’d bumped into. Only, she didn’t seem to notice anything. She’d just finished straightening her papers before continuing on her way, looking completely unaware that she was now a few minutes ahead of herself. Well, ahead of everyone else, at least, since everyone else had backtracked.

Oh, this was just going to make his headache worse. There was too much pressure around here. To have time forcibly rewound, pulled back a few minutes like a yo-yo on a string, created friction in the multiverse. If he didn’t sort things out soon, there could be an echo effect.

Not much of one, admittedly. It might be felt in a parallel universe, two, maybe three, even five or six at a stretch, but only in the concentrated area—which, frankly, the Doctor doubted even extended to the boundaries of the city. But still. With things being sealed up as they were, he’d only have to hope that nothing went terribly wrong in another universe, particularly in one that he wasn’t part of. His hands were tied, after all. He couldn’t break through even if he wanted to.

They were all the more tightly sealed now that they’d been weakened once, even if that was a bit counter-intuitive.

No matter. He was catching up now, and if he was lucky, he wasn’t in loop, so he’d only have to live this through once. The smart thing, though, would be to track down this fellow who’d created the machine and, subsequently, all these problems. He ought to at least know how to turn that machine off, wouldn’t he?

Well, theoretically, but if he hadn’t turned it on, maybe he couldn’t turn it off, either.

The Doctor sighed. He could try tracing his steps back to the alley where he’d first run into Jack, he supposed. It was long past the time that he would’ve run into him, but he wasn’t having any luck finding clues elsewhere. Not that he expected his current method of searching would be particularly fruitful when he wasn’t actively searching for anything. Rather, he was just keeping his eyes peeled for anything suspect.

No matter. One more repeat, then the drawn out moment that would snap back. It’d be interesting to see how that one went. Might not be any different, of course, but he wasn’t about to make any assumptions. The technology behind this was faulty, after all, and he hadn’t ever seen anything exactly like it before, so surprises were to be expected.

He could only hope they’d be pleasant ones.

The Doctor started off in another direction and, not five minutes later, encountered his first—and hopefully not last—pleasant surprise: he found a fruit stand, and it sold bananas.

Well, all right, it wasn’t a fruit stand, exactly; more of a grocer. But it stocked bananas, among other fruits, so he could hardly ask for anything more.

Well. Yes, he could ask for something more: money. He was a bit short. A fifty pence piece, a stick of credits, two shillings, one euro, and a gold aureus of Claudius coin. The last might have come in useful if he’d been trying to sell it, but chances were the vendor here, who was hardly more than a boy, wouldn’t know the difference between the real thing and a replica from a museum and would assume the latter. Not that the Doctor could blame him for that. Wasn’t exactly everyday someone came along and tried to trade a real Roman coin for a bunch of bananas.

The Doctor looked at the handful of useless coins once more, wondered whether he’d have any better luck if he went through all the bother of looking through a different pocket, and asked, “How much for just one banana, exactly?”

“I’m not selling just one banana,” the vendor replied matter-of-factly.

“But could you make an exception? I only need the one.” He wanted at least two, one for now and one for later, but he’d settle for just one for later. They could be terribly useful.

“They’re in bunches,” the vendor said, “and that’s how I was told to sell ‘em, so that’s how I’m going to sell ‘em.”

The Doctor frowned, then said, “What if I trade you for it, then?”

The vendor shook his head. “Cough up cash or try somewhere else.”

“I haven’t found anywhere else,” the Doctor complained.

“That’s not my fault,” the vendor returned. “Look, I’m not supposed to barter, and this was the only job I could find close by, okay? I can’t afford to lose it. You’ll have to go somewhere else.”

Student, the Doctor realized. Or would-be student, if he could get enough money to go to school. He would’ve thought there would’ve been better jobs than this, though. “What do you want to study?”

The vendor blinked at him. “What?”

“What do you want to study?” the Doctor repeated.

The vendor stared at him for a moment, then swallowed and said, “Horticulture, or landscape design, or something. Maybe even trying to breed a black lily or pear-shaped tomatoes with stripes. I haven’t quite decided. This was as close as I could get.”

Which wasn’t, the Doctor figured, very close at all. He picked the Roman coin out of his hand and pocketed the rest. If his timing was right….

It was. The second glitch came right when he’d expected it to.

“This,” the Doctor said, “is a genuine Roman coin, circa 41 to 54 AD. If I remember correctly, this was about 45, 46 AD.”

“I can’t trade you the bananas for that,” the vendor said in a tone that told the Doctor he didn’t believe a word that the crazy stranger was telling him.

“I want you to have it,” the Doctor said, holding it out to him.

“I can’t trade you the bananas for that,” the vendor repeated.

“I didn’t ask you to,” the Doctor replied, “though I’ll admit that I would have liked it if you would have.” He put the coin down within easy reach of the vendor. “Get it appraised,” he said. “See what you’re told. And if anyone asks how you got it, tell them altruism can still be found in this day and age despite arguments to the contrary.”

Time reset itself, and the vendor stared at the coin, unaware that the crowd around him had changed. “You’re not serious, are you?” he asked, looking up at the Doctor.

The Doctor shrugged. “Why not find out for yourself?” And, rather than let the lad find something to say to him, the Doctor turned on his heel and continued on his way.

He still didn’t have a banana, and he was less a coin, but it was all for the best.

There was a longer stretch between the second and third glitch than between the first and second ones, and he spent the time retracing his steps. He passed the street where he’d left the TARDIS and continued on to where he’d met Jack Cunningham, but there was nothing down that particular side street, either. He hadn’t had much of a lead to begin with, but now it was as good as dead.

He had to have missed something somewhere, made an incorrect assumption or overlooked something or dismissed something as unimportant when it wasn’t. Or, more likely, he was missing a very important piece to this puzzle. He needed to work things out, but even he needed something to work with.

The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and fiddled with the settings for a moment, then took a few readings. Time, it seemed, was fairly stable between glitches, but there were still a few disturbances that he could pick up. Not much, but enough to register, and, if he was very lucky, enough to track. Not to its source, exactly; the source was probably the machine. Rather, he could find what didn’t quite fit, the reason the disturbance occurred in a particular place. The means instead of the cause.

The Doctor set off towards the nearest disturbance. The signal kept strengthening, which told him he was on the right track, and after a few more corners, he figured he was nearly there and pocketed his sonic screwdriver again. He rounded the last corner and came upon the scene that he was quite certain contained the cause of this particular disturbance. It was a crime scene, police tape and all. In all likelihood, the murder he’d heard about at the station.

Unfortunately, that crime scene included Detectives Lassiter and O’Hara and the nice Officer McNabb, none of whom were to meet him until later.

The Doctor stepped back, listening for a moment. He could hear their conversations clearly, and no one had remarked upon him. That meant he was safe. And to stay that way….

The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and his TARDIS key. He’d have to make a perception filter; he couldn’t risk those three seeing him again. The psychic paper might do for the others, but—

The third glitch hit.

Time stalled, and the Doctor abandoned the idea of the perception filter. He didn’t need it now. In a few long strides, he was back around the corner and had ducked under the police tape. Unfortunately, it wasn’t terribly surprising to see Jack Cunningham lying dead on the ground. Getting the answers out of him would’ve been just too easy.

Still. From the sounds of it, the detectives weren’t having much luck finding anything out, either. Judging from the conversation he’d overheard between Juliet and two men with their backs to him, they hadn’t even discovered where Jack Cunningham lived.

“I can’t say I have that particular trouble,” the Doctor remarked, more to himself than anyone else. No one else would be able to properly hear him right now when he hadn’t been interacting with them before the glitch hit, after all. “Mind you, at this rate, I’d really like to know if anyone else has found what he left behind.” Or—if it hadn’t been Jack who had turned on the machine—if they were coming back.

Now, the Doctor was used to surprises. Well, as used to surprises as anyone could be, seeing as they were still surprises. But when one of the men spun around to face him, staring at him and asking who he was, the Doctor was well and truly surprised. He could recognize Shawn Spencer easily from the photograph Lassiter had shown him. He hadn’t thought anyone would notice this, this stretching of time, but perhaps the man truly was psychic. Mind you, this was a different sort of glitch, more a stretch and a stall than a repeat, so perhaps that explained it.

But still.

He hadn’t expected any human to notice something like this.

Neglecting to answer the Shawn’s question, the Doctor countered it, instead asking, “Who am I? That’s not the question you ought to be asking, Shawn Spencer.”

Shawn was holding a string, a very familiar sort of string. Well, as familiar as something could be when he’d never seen it before. Still. It was a piece of string, ordinary string, and it was knotted. Twice. And it was in an evidence bag, meaning they’d nicked it from Jack. “What you should be asking is, ‘what was he up to’?”

Shawn was too stunned to answer, so the Doctor took the evidence bag for a closer look, taking the string out. Yes, he’d been right. Two knots. One short. Well, that wouldn’t do, now would it, if its purpose was what he thought it was?

“What do you think you’re doing?” Shawn finally asked.

“We need a third knot in this string,” the Doctor explained as he tied it in, precisely half an inch from the last one. The first two were evenly spaced, after all. “Might as well be consistent,” he added, looking over the spacing one last time before shoving the string back into the bag. He tossed it back to Shawn, who was still doing a rather good fish impression. “You might want to hold onto this. It’ll help you keep track.” When this elicited no response, unless you counted more of the same blank look that he was already receiving, the Doctor pulled out the string he’d been tying knots into for himself and showed it to the man, trying to convey his point. “See? I’ve got one already.”

“What?”

That wasn’t what he sounded like, was it? He knew he asked ‘what?’ a lot himself, but surely not in such a flabbergasted tone. Did he? Hopefully not. The Doctor opened his mouth to explain himself properly, since clearly trying to be succinct was getting him nowhere, but before he could, time snapped back into place. And, this time, things were a bit different. He got moved, instead of everyone else. He got snapped back to where he’d been when the glitch hit, back around the corner and safely out of sight.

The Doctor turned heel immediately and started off before he was spotted. He’d go back, of course, but not yet. He needed to think a bit first, and he couldn’t afford to run into anyone from the police department until after they’d met him. He’d been through three glitches. Six, if you didn’t count the fact that the second set of three were the same ones as the first.

He also didn’t know when the fourth would hit, although it shouldn’t be until after he’d been sent back. Still. That meant he couldn’t find a pattern, not yet. Not with just three glitches. He couldn’t tell whether whoever had turned on the machine—likely wasn’t Jack, not if he was dead—had counted on the glitches or not.

It was annoyingly unclear. If the glitches were intentional, they might have been meant as a diversion. If they weren’t, then whoever had intended to use the machine now had to scramble to fix things up. Or perhaps the glitches weren’t an unpleasant surprise, even if they had been unexpected. For all he knew, this was working in favour of someone’s plan. He was quite sure whoever it was had a plan. They always had plans. If they didn’t, he would’ve had a much harder time foiling them.

Mind you, if he had to foil people, he did appreciate a bit of help, and who better than the one person who’d noticed that something wasn’t right and his two currently-favourite American detectives?

Donna had been right. He needed someone, especially at times like these when he got too caught up in the problems humans didn’t understand to appreciate they ones they could. Humans grounded him. Besides, he liked working with people. He always seemed to learn so much from them. And, well, if he was going to be honest, other people often caught what he didn’t. Someone else could very easily see what he’d missed. And he had a feeling that he might need that, now, because he had a terrible suspicion that he’d already missed something, and quite possibly missed it twice.

No matter. He could worry about that later. He’d head back to the TARDIS for now and find something that would counteract the temporal backlash the machine gave off so that this didn’t happen again. Being forced to cross his own timeline once in such a short period of time was quite enough, thank you.

He’d return to poor Cunningham’s place once his previous self had been shunted back into the past. And once he’d safely disabled the machine, he could dismantle it, and then he could find Shawn Spencer and the others and figure the rest of this out.

Not that things would be that easy.

They never were.

#psych #doctor who #psych fanfiction #dw fanfiction #crossover #my writing #ladylynse #lynse's random wips #snippets #dw wip #psych wip #crossover wip #dw snippet #psych snippet #crossover snippet #queenofhearts7378 #okay so some of this I wrote yesterday #and some of it I wrote eight years ago #but that's how it goes

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