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isis-astarte-diana · 4 years ago

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Milk and Honey: Day 2

Day 1 ‖ Day 2 ‖ Day 3

Summary: “I don’t need your pity. I won’t stand here and be fussed over by some idiot human child.” Wounds healing and ego bruised, Missy self-sabotages. You pick up the pieces the only way you know how.

Warnings: Possible bit of self-harming/OCD behaviour (obsessive cleaning and fingernail trauma, nothing too heavy). Missy does not handle vulnerability well and she gets nasty, but then she’s such a soft troubled baby that we all collectively pretend that it’s not problematic. Unhealthy relationship dynamics and angst. MIHOW.

Word Count: 3615

NB: Oops! It’s angst. Mostly hurt, bit of comfort. Stay tuned and hopefully the fluff will be back soon!

You wake up warm.

The bedside light is still on, its amber glow shaming the thin autumn sunlight that streams grey from the window. When you reach over to switch it off, something drags you back.

Missy has her arm flung across your stomach.

Beneath the duvet, her hand presses just above your navel. You can feel the weight of it when you breathe. Her fingers are splayed across your pyjama top, gripping the fabric tightly.

You stop dead still, half upright. Inexplicable panic floods your chest. "Missy?" You whisper into the pillow, hardly daring to turn your head and look at her.

"Hmm?"

For a single bloodcurdling moment, you think she must have woken; but then she hums again, squirming closer, her nose brushing the back of your neck. Any relief at realising that she’s still sleeping is lost when her arm tightens around your waist.

You think of staying there. With all of your free time spent travelling in the TARDIS, you can’t remember the last time you were held like this. She’s soft and warm behind you, her breath stirring the fine hairs at the nape of your neck, sending goosebumps prickling across the sensitive skin there. It would be so easy to wait for just a few minutes. Half an hour, maybe.

She would never do this on purpose.

The disgust hits you so hard that you flinch. To lie here, taking advantage of her unconscious embrace, enjoying the sweet comfort of an arm around you and peaceful breathing behind you - what would it make you? What would she think if she knew?

You tear yourself away too forcefully, fuelled by the self-loathing that burns in your throat. Missy groans softly in her sleep but doesn’t stir, burying her face in the pillow where your head had been resting. You tuck the duvet back around her, pointedly not looking at the inch of milk-pale skin on her side where the shirt she wears has ridden up.

She looks better already. The angry graze on her cheek is fading, and the long, deep cut down the side of her face is healed and red with new skin. You wonder how long it will take for them to disappear completely.

It’s clear that the sleep is working how she’d hoped, so you leave her there. The clock on the bedside table reads 9:47. Gathering your things, you head for the shower. As you close the bedroom door, she opens her eyes blearily and mumbles your name. You don’t hear it.

+++++

“How’s the patient?”

The Doctor leans against the kitchen counter, watching you make tea. His hands are thrust into his jacket pockets and there’s a careful aloofness to his voice that does very little to disguise his obvious concern.

“Fine.” It sounds clipped. “She ate. She slept. Still sleeping, last time I checked.” You glance at the time on the microwave; it’s after twelve. “For quite a while now.”

“That’s good.” He reaches past you, snatching a biscuit from the tin and biting it in half. He speaks through the crumbs. “We heal better when we’re asleep. Sometimes go into a coma for a few days, wake up ravenous and fully recovered.”

“She mentioned that.” You take both cups into the living room and he follows, carrying the biscuit tin, going back for another. The bag of Missy’s things is sitting in your space on the sofa and you move it to the floor. It’s a floral, Victorian-looking carpet bag, not particularly large but, you’re assured, bigger on the inside and full of everything she’ll need.

“So what else did you talk about?” He props his feet on the coffee table and you scowl. Looking suitably chagrined, he takes them down.

“Nothing, really." Taking a seat beside him, you feel oddly embarrassed, as if the prior evening’s events were a delicate secret that might wither under his scrutiny. “We watched some telly, and then we were both pretty tired so we went to bed.”

You can feel his eyes on you as you reach for your tea, and your face burns under them. Mercifully he doesn’t ask about the sleeping arrangements. “She didn’t try to kill you, then.”

“Not even once.”

“I was tempted.” Your head darts up at the sound of Missy’s voice in the doorway. She looks more like herself, her face the familiar mask of malicious indifference, the wounds there having healed even further since you woke this morning. The pink skin on her cheek is bisected by a blurry streak of red. She’s taken the braid out of her hair, leaving it to tumble in loose waves about her shoulders. “No tea for me, I take it.”

“You were sleeping.” The Doctor looks her up and down. “Nice pyjamas, by the way.”

“Aren’t they?” She gives a performative little twirl. She’s moving more easily than she did yesterday, coming to a halt with only the faintest wince. “I might move away from purple after all.”

“I brought the things you asked for. Well, most of them.” He gestures to the valise and she snatches it up, fixing him with a suspicious look.

“Most of them?” Her voice is thin.

“I’m not convinced that whalebone is suitable for a stab wound.”

“I’m not convinced that I asked your opinion.” She tears the bag open, reaching into its impossible depths, staring at the contents. “My shoes?”

“Ah, well,” he rubs the back of his neck, leaning forwards. “I didn’t think you’d be going anywhere just yet.”

“My sonic?” She spits it out through gritted teeth.

“The sonic stays on the TARDIS. I’m sorry.” He sounds anything but apologetic. “I can’t have you using it without my supervision.”

“No,” she mutters. “No, of course not.” She closes it slowly, snapping the fastenings with a flourish of her fingers. “Well, if there’s nothing else, Doctor-”

“Actually, I was going to ask-”

“If there’s nothing else, Doctor,” she repeats, speaking over him. He falls silent. “Then I’d better go and make myself decent. Do stop by another time.”

She slips back into the hallway and you hear a door slam. Beside you, the Doctor clears his throat.

“I’d best be going. Lecture on Quantum Chromodynamics this afternoon. Still need to pick out the perfect record for it.” He stands up heavily, thrusting two biscuits into his pocket for the road. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Yeah.” Your eyes are fixed on the door. “Of course. See you soon.”

+++++

“Had a nice chat, did you?”

The bathroom door is open. Missy stands at the sink with her back to you, the tap running full force into the open plughole. Over the sound of rushing water and gurgling pipes her voice is low.

“Yeah, it was okay.” You move closer, gesturing towards her with the steaming mug in your hands. “I made you some tea.” She ignores you. Her attention is fixed on something in the sink, her hands busy with it. You peer around the doorframe. She’s wearing a clean chemise and nothing else, her hair pinned up messily, the muscles in her bare arms tight and flexing with the sawing motion of her elbows. “What are you doing?”

Her stained corset from the previous day is crumpled awkwardly in the sink. The bloody laces are directed under the freezing tap as she scrubs at them with a nailbrush, turning the water the colour of rust where it runs down the drain. Her fingers are a furious shade of pink from the cold and the rough work.

“He didn’t bring me any presentable clothes,” she mutters, not looking up from her thankless task. “No corset, no jacket, no shoes. He’d have me walking around in a housecoat and stockinged feet like an invalid.” She snarls, scrubbing harder, catching her fingers with the bristles. There’s too much blood in the water for it to all be leeching from the fabric; the delicate skin around her fingernails is ragged. Heart in your throat, you set the mug aside and reach for the tap.

“Missy, your hands-”

She knocks your hand away and turns on you. He’s obviously brought her some makeup; the injuries on her face are concealed and her eyes are lined heavily with kohl, flecks of mascara clinging to her lashes, dark lips stretched tight around her bared teeth. It’s hard to believe that she’s the same person who’d slept beside you last night.

“I don’t need your pity,” she snaps, the words poison in her mouth. “I won’t stand here and be fussed over by some idiot human child.”

It stings. After yesterday you thought you were getting somewhere; that you might do better than to tolerate each other, and actually start to become something like friends. Swallowing angry tears that threaten to weaken your voice, you bite back.

“I’ll bear that in mind next time you can’t get undressed by yourself.”

You regret the words before you’ve even spoken them. You understand that she’s lashing out at you because she feels weak, but it smacks of bullying and you can’t bear to be a punching bag for her wounded pride. Something sharp flashes behind her eyes.

“Oh, I bet you had a good laugh about that, didn’t you?” Her fingers, wet and cold as the grave, wrap tightly around your wrist. “He must have loved it.”

Softening immediately, you backpedal, realising the source of her rage. “Missy, I didn’t tell the Doctor about-”

She isn’t listening. She twists your arm up behind your back with startling strength, forcing it so high that your shoulder screams in protest and your words die in your throat. You’re up against the sink before you can draw breath. The tap is still running, icy spray soaking the front of your clothes. You brace your other hand against the slick porcelain and look down at the bloody water.

“Look at me!” Her teeth snap inches from your ear. Lifting your eyes to meet hers in the mirror, your breath falters at the expression on her face. In all the time you’ve known her, you haven’t seen rage like this. “Who am I?”

“You’re the Master.” Mouth dry, your breath fogs the mirror.

“I was reducing whole civilisations to rubble before your species stuck a feather into a pile of ash and drew their first hieroglyph,” she snarls. The threat in her voice makes your hair stand on end. “You’d do well to remember that.”

“I will.” The words come out strained. There’s a band of vice-like pain where she holds your wrist, an aching tightness in the muscles of your back that isn’t lessening. “I will. I’m sorry.”

She steps away so suddenly that you crumple, gripping the sink for support. Your forehead hits the mirror. As you squeeze your eyes shut and catch your breath, you can’t see the look of horror that flashes over her face.

When you open your eyes again she’s gone from behind you. Down the hall, your bedroom door closes. You stare into the sink until it starts to overflow.

+++++

You’re elbow-deep in soapy water, washing yesterday’s dishes, when there are four tentative knocks against the doorframe. You swallow hard and try to ignore them.

“Need a hand?” Missy’s voice is soft and hesitant.

“I’m fine.”

She doesn’t respond for so long that you think she must have left. You’re rinsing the last mug - the octopus - when she speaks again. It makes you jump.

“I’m sorry.” She sounds so genuine that your eyes flutter closed, pain twisting in your chest. “I’m sorry for earlier. That was- not my proudest moment.”

It takes you a second to steady your voice. “I didn’t tell the Doctor. About last night. About any of it.” Steeling yourself, you glance over your shoulder at her. She’s standing so far away. “He doesn’t know.”

“But you do.” It takes you by surprise. You turn around to face her, leaning against the sink. Her expression is implacable. Tracks of mascara stain her pale face; she’s been crying. “You know.”

You cross your arms and look away. The sight of her is turning your resolve into dust. “I understand that you don’t want to be here, Missy, but I didn’t ask you to come. That was his idea.”

“Wrong.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re wrong. It wasn’t his idea.” She scrubs a hand over her face, further smudging her makeup. Her fingers are trembling. She’s wearing the long violet housecoat, unbuttoned, over her thin chemise. Standing barefoot in your kitchen with her hair piled up in loose twists she looks like a ghost. “I don’t know what I expected to-”

“You asked him to bring you here?” You push away from the sink, your voice rising as you step towards her. She flinches, touches the wound on her back, leans heavily against the doorframe. “Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re the only one who doesn’t treat me like a criminal,” she snaps. Her words are tight with pain, and she bows at the hips to ease the strain on her back. “I’m a prisoner in the TARDIS as much as I am in the vault, but I thought that here I might be something else. Just for a few days.”

“I’m not keeping you here,” you snarl. “You can do whatever you like, as you took great pleasure in reminding me. You can leave whenever-”

“How can I?!” Looking up from the tiled floor, she fixes you with wild eyes. “How can I when he plays the warden and keeps my things from me on a whim? No clothes, no shoes, no sonic? Wherever I go the Doctor has my dignity under lock and key. What little sanctuary I find he takes, every time.”

“And you thought you’d take that out on me?” The trembling of your bottom lip betrays you. You bat at the mutinous tears in your eyes. “Put the stupid human in her place? Show me that you don’t-”

“That I don’t deserve your kindness.” She cuts you off, straightening up with obvious difficulty, her knuckles white on the door jamb. “Not so long ago I would have snapped you in half just to hear the sound it made. I have lived longer than you can fathom and done things that your language doesn’t have words for. I’m no stranger to regret, my dear.” The fury in her expression drains away and for a moment she looks as ancient as you know her to be. “So when I tell you that I am sorry for what I did to you, please understand what that means.”

Your throat tightens. She’s too easy to forgive like this, with her face lined with pain and her small frame quivering. She looks cold. The words sit heavy at the back of your tongue, ready to accept an apology whose sincerity you don’t doubt for a second. Swallowing them back, you murmur instead, “I think you need to sit down, Missy.”

She studies you with glassy eyes, breathing heavy. “Yes,” she whispers in the end. “Oh, yes. I think so.”

She slumps to the floor like a marionette with its strings cut. You land on your knees beside her just in time to keep her head from striking the tiles.

+++++

Despite your efforts, you can’t lift Missy onto the sofa. She’s fully unconscious and the dead weight of her is too much for you to move alone. Instead, you do the next best thing; you tuck a pillow beneath her head and a blanket around her, covering her from shoulders to bare feet, and sit in the living room to watch her breathing.

As the afternoon drags on, you make a late lunch - stepping carefully over her body to reach the kitchen - and pick at it, hardly tearing your eyes away from her for long enough to look at the television. You make no effort to be quiet but she doesn’t stir save for the soft noises she makes in her sleep and the occasional shift in her position. Recalling the Doctor’s words, you choose not to wake her.

“We heal better when we’re asleep.”

You have a torturous amount of time to think while she lies there. Did she sleep in the vault? What about the TARDIS? And before she came here, when she was travelling alone? The Doctor had told you once that Time Lords could go months without it and then spend the best part of a week unconscious. When the light begins to fail and evening falls outside the window, with Missy yet to awaken, you wonder just how long ago “the desert, last time” really was.

Phone in hand, you type and delete the same message over and over for almost ten minutes. The wording escapes you. Some iterations of it are huge paragraphs, wrought with pleading explanations; some are terse and demanding. The final draft ends up being one of the latter, sent before you can second guess yourself.

Bring her sonic tomorrow.

The response comes almost immediately. You open it with trembling fingers.

No.

Incensed, you don’t wait this time. Your jaw clenches with impotent rage as you reply.

Bring it.

You toss your phone to the other end of the sofa, ignoring the answering buzz that sounds angrier than an inanimate object has any right to. As if in response, Missy jolts upright.

It shocks you when she draws a deep, painful-sounding breath, her head whipping around, trying to make sense of her surroundings. Rising to your feet, you approach her slowly.

“Missy?”

She yelps at the sound of your voice, turning to look at you with wide eyes, reaching back to touch the healing injury when the sudden movement tugs at it. Her chest heaves with ragged breaths. The room is dim with autumn dusk, the overhead lights not switched on yet. In the gloom you can’t make out her expression; just those eyes, gleaming like a cat’s.

“It’s okay,” you say cautiously, showing her your palms in a gesture of surrender, trying to soothe her the only way you know how. “It’s okay, it’s just me.”

“What happened?” She throws it out like an accusation but there’s too much fear in her voice for it to wound you.

“I don’t know, you just- dropped. I think you passed out. It’s been a few hours.” Conscious of looming over her while she’s like this, you sink carefully to your knees, a few feet away. “Are you alright?”

It knocks the wind out of you when she throws herself into your arms.

“I thought you’d gone.” Her voice is muffled, warm in the crook of your neck as she claws at the fabric on your back, pulling herself closer. Your hands come to rest either side of the small of her back in an attempt to avoid the wound there. “I thought- I didn’t-”

“It’s okay,” you manage, stunned, propping your chin up on her shoulder. She’s shaking. “It’s okay. I’m here. Did you- were you dreaming?”

A stunted nod. “I can still hear them,” she croaks. “The drums. Always the drums. Whenever I sleep. Whenever I’m alone, they just keep coming back-”

“You’re not alone.” It spills out of your mouth before you can stop it and she whimpers, nuzzling deeper into your embrace. “I’ve got you, Missy. I’m here. You’re not alone.”

+++++

Propped up on the sofa with pillows behind her, Missy takes her makeup off with a damp cloth. She hisses as it drags over the graze on her cheek and your fingers twitch at your sides in sympathy.

“You’re sure you want to sleep here tonight?” As you tidy the remains of your shared meal from the coffee table, you resist the urge to look back at her. She’s lying awkwardly across the cushions, still wearing the housecoat, the blanket from earlier thrown over her body. “I really don’t mind if you want to share the bed.”

“No,” she answers too quickly. “No, I think- I think this is best. It’s easier on my back.”

“Of course.” The lie is paper-thin. After the day’s events, though, you don’t want to push her. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

“I will.”

The microwave dings as you set the dishes on the counter, and you remove the steaming mug of hot milk. It’s been a long time since you’ve made this. You add twice as much honey as usual - she takes four sugars in her tea - and stir it in with the spices, turning the drink the colour of sand. It smells like home.

Missy looks at you questioningly when you set it on the coffee table in front of her.

“Milk and honey,” you explain weakly, rubbing your neck. “My mum’s recipe. She used to make it for me, when I had nightmares. It helps me sleep.”

Her keen eyes follow you as you switch on the standing lamp and turn off the main light, casting the room in a dim orange glow.

“I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?”

“Yes.” She picks at a loose thread on the blanket without looking at it. Her face is unreadable. “Thank you. Sleep well.”

There are so many things you want to say. Come to bed, or I forgive you, or you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

As you slip out of the door, all you manage is a quiet, “you too.”

+++++

When the bedroom door creaks open you close your eyes and fall still. There’s a rush of cool air over your back as the duvet lifts at one side, and the mattress sinks behind you. Missy whispers your name. Smiling to yourself, you feign sleep.

#missy x reader #the master x reader #whump #doctor who fic #doctor who whump #doctor who reader insert #mine #request #headcanon: missy never sleeps bc she has nightmares #headcanon: missy is very soft and i wuv her

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symflash · 6 years ago

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Ultimate Spider-Man Symflash headcanons

Because I can’t write, I can’t draw, and I can’t pay other people to do it for me.

* The symbiote that's with Flash is a fragment of the larger chunk of symbiote that went down with the Helicarrier in season 1, episode 26, and not the brand new symbiote created in season 3, episode 2. Consequently, they remember Harry, but not the time the Goblin injected Peter with Venom (different fragment).

* Also, in this continuity, "Venom" is actually the name the symbiote picked for themself.

* Venom was a blank slate at their birth, like an infant, with zero concept of morals or social mores. They might've been able to suss it out by osmosis from their hosts' brains, if their most long-term host hadn't been Harry "I hate my dad and I wish he was dead" Osborn.

* Flash's and Venom's first dance as Agent Venom went something like this: Venom: “Okay, I think I've cracked the code. Every time I assert my personhood separate from my host, I get electrocuted to smithereens. So maybe if I... pretend to be an inanimate object, act super low-key, this new host won't notice, and I can delay my next near-death experience.” Flash: "This is awesome! You're awesome! What's your name? I'm Flash! Do you wanna be friends? Do you like football? Do you know what football is?" Venom: *tears streaming down their metaphorical face* "wHAt tHe fUcK Is goINg oN"

* That was not the moment Venom decided to bind themselves permanently to Flash, though. That happened after Beetle tried to hit them with a sonic blast. Venom was in pain, and Flash was telling them not to be scared, because Spider-Man would help them, they could trust Spidey. That was Venom's first exposure to the concept of trust. And after they saw that trust paid off, they decided to trust Flash. And their trust paid off. Flash: "Did you hear that, buddy? You won't have to leave after all! Isn't this great?" Venom:

* Flash's training period at SHIELD was mostly dedicated to teaching human morality to Venom and training himself to not refer to himself as "we" (it gives the people with the sonic guns twitchy trigger fingers).

* Sure, I could NOT shoehorn in Flash's comic book backstory. But I'm a slut for cheap angst, so I'm gonna. ** Flash didn't so much live at the gas station as he squatted there after running away from home. ** The smell of alcohol is a trigger for him. He drops off the radar on his 21st birthday because he's terrified his friends will try to take him to a bar.

* Flash and Venom converse telepathically more often than they let on. They like to do Mystery Science Theatre 3000 running commentaries during boring meetings. They also do a psychic duet of Bohemian Rhapsody whenever a known mind reader walks into the room. Just in case.

* Venom thinks the fact that Flash was The Very First Host They Ever Took is the most romantic thing ever. ("It was destiny!") Flash is just embarrassed that their first meeting was so inauspicious. ("You came out of a toilet and I tried to feed Pete to you.")

* Venom can do a bang-up impersonation of Harry, and you can bet they use it to make fun of him at any opportunity. ** "Hurr burr, I have a limousine, a penthouse home and billions of dollars, and when my favorite Spider-Person doesn't reciprocate my gay crush *choking up* I don't cry about it."

* There was a brief period after "Anti-Venom" where Venom was too weak to speak to Flash, and Flash wasn't sure if they were dead or alive. ** Of course he cried; slut for cheap angst, remember?

* Flash has undiagnosed dyslexia. He didn't figure it out until Venom asked him why letters wiggle for him but not for Harry.

* Venom likes dandelions, especially ones growing out of cracks in the sidewalk. ** "They're considered weeds and eradicated on sight, and yet they're strong enough to break through rock, and hardy enough to survive in environments that would be inhospitable to all other plants. It's just... poeticcinema.jpg." *** "Buddy, you can beam a crisp and clear mental impression of any picture directly into my brain. There's literally no reason for you to say 'dot jay peg' out loud, ever."

* Peter & Co. keep making references to stuff Venom did that Venom has no memory of (because there's an entire branch of symbiotes that diverged from them, so they literally weren't around for those events). Flash decides to investigate and pulls up all SHIELD case reports about Venom. That's the first time he finds out how many symbiotes SHIELD has killed or attempted to kill. Venom can only shrug their metaphorical shoulders. People have been trying to murder them nearly from the moment of their birth. They didn't have a point of reference, so they'd just sort of assumed it was a normal part of life. They don't really understand why Flash is crying. And that makes Flash cry harder. ** And that's the story of how Flash got over his crush on Peter. *** Venom doesn't see much point in holding grudges. After all, if they ever express anger or try to retaliate over their treatment, they'll be stuffed in a jar at best and incinerated alive at worst. Luckily, Flash is a finely-tuned rage producing machine; he can be angry on both of their behalf.

* Flash encourages Venom to have their own hobbies separate from him. To facilitate this, Venom has permission to drive around Flash's body while he sleeps, provided they don't stray away from SHIELD headquarters and wake Flash up if there's an emergency. ** Venom likes looking up video tutorials for random things. And because they share a brain with Flash, he ends up learning things by proxy. (The morning he woke up fluent in American Sign Language was a trippy one). *** They're also into videogame speedruns, of all things.

* Scarlet Spider would very much like to forget the time he got up for a midnight snack and found Flash, with solid black eyes, hunching on top of a vending machine like a goblin, attempting to insert three chocolate bars into his mouth at once.

* Venom is the only one allowed to call Flash "Eugene". They're very territorial of their monopoly.

* Venom has a dim, dim view of father figures. Their genetic progenitor tried to murder them multiple times, and their only second-hand experiences of fathers are, well, Norman Osborn and Harrison Thompson.

* What's the point of having a foot long tongue if you don't use it to lick the bottom of your ice cream carton?

* Venom and Flash have such divergent music tastes, they need to have two separate playlists. (Flash likes punk rock and hair metal, Venom's into eurodance and chiptunes.)

* Incomplete list of animals Flash unironically thinks are cute: tarantulas ("Fuzzy!"), snakes ("Their tongues go blelele!"), amblypygids ("They cuddle their babies!"), velvet worms ("Their feet are so stubby!")

* Flash is actually pretty insecure about being Venom's host. He feels the only reason they stick with him is because he was the first person to be nice to them, and they could do better. ** Flash: "I mean, you give me superpowers, the means to get away from my old life, the opportunity to be somebody... but what do I give you in return? Maybe Doc Ock was right... maybe I AM a parasite." Venom:

* Actually, Flash is insecure about a lot of things. He's afraid Peter secretly resents him for the years of bullying, he fears that he's just fooled everyone into thinking that he's a good person and really he's just as much of a monster as his father, he's scared he's too stupid to make anything of himself and he'll become a deadbeat... it's a bunch of separate but interlocking self-esteem issues. ** Venom helps, though. It's useful to have an outside perspective to your own brain.

* Flash initially calls Venom an "it", because they're genderless and he doesn't have a lot of insight into gender politics and pronouns. He later learns about they/them pronouns, and asks if he can use it for Venom. Venom, who's used to being called "it" and knows even less about personal pronouns, is confused. They have a long discussion about dehumanizing language that ends with Venom shrugging their metaphorical shoulders and going "Sure, if it makes you feel better".

* Being a couple kind of sneaks up on them. In their defense, both of them have little to no experience in giving or receiving affection; they have trouble distinguishing different kinds of love (hence why Flash thought his giant gay crush on Peter was just wanting to be his best buddy).

* Cons of wearing actual clothes instead of a shapeshifted symbiote: Doing laundry. Pros of wearing actual clothes: Nobody can tell you're giving your boyfriend a fullbody cuddle under his shirt in public.

* They're both super affectionate and flirty. They both get super flustered and embarrassed when receiving affection and being flirted at. Together, they are a disaster.

#symflash #flash thompson #venom symbiote #agent venom #ultimate spiderman #man of action studios: *give flash a shallow two-dimensional characterization and the symbiote zero characterization*#me: my city now

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deepestuniversallove · 6 years ago

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Selfship Positivity Day

So I heard that today is a day for some selfship positivity! I want to also thank a few people for tagging me in their posts!

I have joined the self-ship community on tumblr in early 2018. I have really started self-shipping when I was around 7 years old and fell in love with Bonkers D Bobcat, who was my first crush, but I promptly gave up on him when I saw that he had a crush on Fawn Deer in canon (as a kid I thought that canon was what was real, so....). I had a few minor crushes on a few other characters as well (like Johnny from S.O.S. Croco), but never actively self-shipped with them, I just found them really cool.

Then at 11 years old, I went to see the First Pokemon Movie and fell in love with Mewtwo at first sight. After Bonkers, he was the first character I actively started to self ship with, and he has been a great inspiration and help for me; I was raised in an emotionally abusive household, emotionally neglected, starved for affection that I never got. Plus my mother has narcissistic personality disorder and only sees me as a living plaything and extension of her - which this is no fun way to grow up. Add to this that I was pretty much the social outcast at school, and you would probably understand why I always had suicidal ideations, depression and eventually developed avoidant personality disorder. So yeah, seeing Mewtwo, neglected by the scientists who refused him warmth and him going against Giovanni... I wanted to be like Mewtwo, just as strong as him. Daydreaming of him in the evening was what kept me sane and gave me the feeling that at least someone loved me, even if he was fictional. Plus, through him, I learned about genetics and science and decided I wanna go into science (which led me to being a Biology PhD student today) - which led me into choosing Biology, Chemistry and English as my majors in our german school system.

I have always drawn the occasional self ship picture or sketch with Mewtwo, but back then, I mostly focused on shipping other pairings from other franchises. I came to the internet for the first time in 2005, when I joined Deviantart through other self shippers who had their sights on various Sonic characters and shipped their own OCs with them. In fact, I have made my own OC named Jamai Dark to ship her with Shadow the hedgehog.

The first picture with Mewtwo was one that I tried to trace from “Mewtwo Returns”. Though I still focused more on shipping other pairings and on the Sonic franchise. In any case, the Mewtwo artists back then were a huge inspiration for me.

My first fanchild with Mewtwo, Kunai, was posted online before I ever posted any of my selfship pictures, and even then, I avoided outright saying that she was supposed to be the daughter of me and Mewtwo because of the backlash I feared. I simply enjoyed watching the more daring artists who outright were able to profess their love for Mewtwo, which I didn’t have the courage for at first. My first other self shipper that I found was @desert-fairy-vixen, who had remained a loyal friend ever since I started out on Deviantart.

At 16, I became involved with a boy around my age and entered a relationship with him. He forbid me Mewtwo, stating that he wasn’t necessary any more, so I tearfully bid Mewtwo goodbye, writing him a poem as well as drawing one goodbye picture.

However, my relationship with my boyfriend was not that good, and without Mewtwo, I simply felt lost. My frist boyfriend belonged to a religious cult and was homeschooled; he was also heavily brainwashed that religion trumps over all, so I tried for years to reconcile his religion with my science, only finding that it was impossible. I have still stayed with this guy for 6 years, when he had started to control me even more with his abusive grip. I ended it with him then, and was heartbroken, feeling that I didn’t deserve Mewtwo after having left him to be with my boyfriend. So I couldn’t jump back into self shipping. Instead, I shipped certain pairings from the YuGiOh series, as well as Digimon, in the meantime. It was actually when I hit the Digimon stage that I started to self ship with Arukenimon. I also had a crush on Eridan Ampora.

In 2013, I had a dream in which Mewtwo fought and protected me from zombies. That was the point at which I decided that I want to be with Mewtwo again. Why deny myself this? Why hide? And so I drew my first comic in which I tried to remember my past with Mewtwo, and this is how I met my first self shippers on Deviantart who also self shipped with Mewtwo. In fact, @sweetwhitechoco was one of the first I openly talked with when it came to Mewtwo. I have watched Lullaby-of-the-Lost and Kokoro-Tokoro from afar and didn’t dare to talk to them because they were out of my league, but seeing other people post self ship Mewtwo art made me want to do the same.

I only found out about the self shipping community on tumblr in 2017, after having had haters who told me that my self ship is vile and bestiality. Finding an entire community of self shippers was a blessing after having gone through such shit. I think I am still not over the fact that I have tried to give up Mewtwo when I came together with my abusive ex-boyfriend for the first time. Sometimes I wonder if Mewtwo would really want to be back together with me, or I feel unworthy of him. I can only hope that I may overcome this one day. Or it’s just a symptom of my AvPD, because I tend to push away those I love to not taint them with my imperfections.

In any case, onwards to the shippers I met on here!

@star-platinums-wife was one of the first self shippers, and through her and her followers, I got to know more self shippers. Though the concept of having a self shipping blog is what I have seen from @gamzeeismyboyfriend for the first time, and this was actually when I decided to post my selfship art on my blog too.

@asa-de-ouro is one of the best friends I could have hoped to find, and she is the mom friend for sure!

I also got to know @husband-of-lucoa, who is also a great friend and really loved by both Lucoa and Palutena! They both told me so!

@lightningsconsort Your love and devotion to your queen Lightning is such an inspiration, I wish you both many happy years together for the future!

@slyvivi has such a cute self ship with Necrozma, it is always a delight to see someone who also self ships with a Pokemon! You and Necrozma are so cute together, and I am sure that he sees you as the Light of his life. And @come-along-here-and-spin-with-me, you and Oracion are also such cuties together!

@lildreamysoul, you are an absolute Queen, and I kind of count you in as “above my league”; I love the ideas you have for self shipping! Making your own self ship mugs? A book with collected artworks? Acrylic charms? Like dang, you make me want to try this out as well!

@mrs-rock-light You reminded of the time when I found Zero so cool! :D I am glad that he found someone to be happy with in you! God knows after all his fights, he certainly deserves some happiness for a change!

@charles-self-inserts I am so honored that you wanted my self ship to be included with yours in a comission! ;__; thank you so so much for that!

@only-mewtwo Highfives! You and Mewtwo are so cute together!

@malt-tango :D I love all the discussions about details for fanfics that I can have with you, and I love your idea for my fanfics. It is thanks to you that I am now even attempting to write my self-insert more true to myself which I didn’t have the courage for before.

@plucky-belmondo AHH, you and Richter are so cute, and I love all the awesome designs that you made for your self-insert for Smash Bros! Amazing!!!

@goldenworldsabound :D You, Spock, me and Mewtwo need to go out on a date together. :D

@rulersofthekoopakingdom You and Bowser are so cute! *_* <3 <3

I hope all of you had a great self ship positivity day! :D If I haven’t mentioned you in here, I am still probably watching you from afar and being too shy to say anything. ^^;; whoops.

#self ship #self shipping #self shipping community #self ship positivity

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mickeycookies · 6 years ago

Note

hey hon I really like your karavette work (the other anon is right, that sunset comic always makes my heart flip!!) and I was just wondering if you have some kind of backstory as to how these two babes met and fell for each other etc? basically some lore on their relationship if you can call it that lol. keep up the good work!💕

First, I’d like to start this off by saying: OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their first meeting had always been dialogue-less in my head and so putting actual words and scenes into something that I always imagined to be wordless and just flashes of what happened, along with other things going on in my life and my inability to write, and my refusal to just give another brief explanation of how it went down because i’ll “draw it one day” all contributed to the 9,000 years it took me to finish this _(:3」∠)_ BUT IT’S HERE AND I DID IT AND I’M SO SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG!

Ivette was created before season 2, so their first meeting is very much based on season 1 Karamatsu’s character and it’s kinda weird to think about now that he’s grown so much in season 2. But, this is the way I’ve always seen it, and I’m too attached to change it ｡(*^▽^*)ゞ Also, big thanks to Dr. @lazura and Professor @lenkachu for looking over this for me! You guys were a big help!

Ivette stared at the map on her phone with a blank face, the little blue dot blinking at her tauntingly.

‘Definitely took the long way … .’ she mentally grumbled to herself, wondering why she would even trust her sense of direction to begin with, ‘How did I even do that?’.

She should’ve just taken a taxi. She always took a taxi. Why didn’t she take a taxi?

Sighing, she powered on. There was no point in trying to reason with her past self’s misguided decision to walk because “it’s not that far!” She’d just have to remind herself next time that everything’s far in heels and that she should never trust herself to find a new spot without help from her friends ever again.

Her eyes tracked the little dot as she walked, examining street numbers and the estimated time it’d take to get there, ‘just past this bridge I’ll make a right and it should be at the next intersection …’ The thought of finally being able to sit down and enjoy some expensive sweets with what little time she most likely had left in her break outweighed everything else, and she was more than happy to be almost done with navigating this unfamiliar part of town.

‘Just a little bit longer!’

Ivette looked up from her phone to see how much further it would be until she hit the main street when something caught her eye.

A skull. On a leather jacket.

She came to a short stop where she stood, phone lowering as she stared at the form of a man down on one knee, bent forward in the bushes. Aside from the leather jacket that had originally grabbed her attention, she could see he also wore a pair of fitted blue jeans and scuffed brown Cuban-heeled boots, and she couldn’t help but be a little surprised at the sight.

A greaser? Here in Japan?

She regarded the jacket for a few seconds more, admiring the cut and the skull applique that was a dead giveaway it was vintage and well-loved.

“Come here, little one … it’s alright.”

Ivette watched quietly as he made beckoning motions into the bush and, ever so slowly, a cat emerged from the leaves, unsure. Her heart gave a little squeeze as the cat approached him slowly, hazel eyes big and curious as it sniffed his hand cautiously, judging whether he could be trusted or not. It stared at him, making a decision, before nuzzling against his hand, eyes closed contently. The man in the leather jacket chuckled, rubbing the cat’s head gently as it leaned into his hand, ears flattening at the touch. From the way he handled it, she was certain he had an affinity for cats, and she couldn’t help but smile at the scene, the sweetness of it all making it impossible not to. Snapping back to reality, she pulled her purse back up her shoulder, eyes shooting back to the phone in her hand. She didn’t have time to stand around and stare! Ivette walked away, stride a little faster as she refocused on her mission.

Quick footsteps sounded behind her and she turned to see a little girl, probably not older than five, running across the bridge towards them.

“Maru-chan!”

The little girl caught sight of the man in the leather jacket, the tabby and white-patched cat in his arms.

“Maru-chan!” the little girl ran towards him, and he turned to look at her, lifting his sunglasses with one hand to rest them on his head, surprised. She came to an abrupt halt before him, a little bag of treats held tightly in her fists, “Maru-chan, I’ve looked everywhere for you!”

The man looked down to the cat in his arms before smiling, brown eyes soft, “It appears you’ve reunited with your mama much sooner than we’d thought, little one.”

Ivette watched his every move intently, stepping a little closer to the two. The girl was alone without a guardian, all the warmth she’d felt previously towards the leather-jacketed stranger turned into cold wariness in a second. He shifted to kneel on his other knee, bringing himself to face the girl properly and lifted the cat away from his chest to look it in the eyes kindly, “How wonderful it must be, to have someone in this world who loves you.”

Ivette’s serious expression faltered a bit, his words stirring something within her. Her hand went to her chest, curling into a loose fist over her heart as she watched him carefully place the cat back into the little girl’s open arms. A small smile returned to her lips unconsciously when the child gave a happy cry, nuzzling into the cat.

Another set of quick footsteps caught her attention, this time faster and heavier, and Ivette caught sight of a woman running towards them. The woman ran past her much like the little girl, and over towards the other two, grabbing the girl by the shoulders.

“Don’t run away from Mom like that again!” She chided her, though her tone was far more distressed than it was angry.

The young girl nodded, cuddling the cat closer to her, “Yes, Mama …”

Ivette let out a relieved breath, the girl’s mother was here now, everything was going to be ok. She’d stood there long enough so she turned to leave.

She hadn’t even taken ten steps past them when she suddenly heard crying.

Looking over her shoulder at the group again, Ivette was surprised to see the little girl crying her heart out, holding her pet closer to her with one arm as the other pointed at the man in the leather jacket accusingly, “He did it! He stole Maru-chan!”

The man in the leather jacket jolted, eyes shooting to the child fast as lightning, “Ehh?!”

The little girl continued to sob, cries just getting louder and louder, and the greaser panicked, not knowing what to do, torn between trying to calm the crying child and defending himself. The mother’s hands clenched into tight fists and Ivette put her phone in her purse, deciding to step in and try to help clear things up.

“I’ve never seen this cat before in my life, Ma’am! I—!”

“He did it! He’s the one!” The little girl sobbed.

“O-OI!” A nervous bead of sweat dripped down his temple, and his eyes widened when he realized his mistake, “W-wait, please! I d-didn’t—!” Ivette was already rushing over but it was too late. The mother punched him, the force creating a sonic boom and sending him skidding across the pavement with a sickening sound. Ivette’s eyes widened in horror at the sight, her jaw falling open in a heavy gasp. She ran over without a second thought.

“Come on, let’s get you two home,” the mother said sweetly, taking her daughter’s free hand in her own and leading her out of the park, the little girl sticking her tongue out at the unconscious man sprawled out on the floor, steam radiating off his skull.

Passersby looked on at the scene in silence before shrugging it off and going about their business, not fazed by the poor man practically embedded into the concrete. Heads did, however, turn when Ivette dropped to her knees beside him, letting her purse fall to the ground next to her. Her hands hesitated, not knowing if it was ok to touch him, “Are you ok? Can you hear me?”

He groaned in response and she let out a sigh of relief. He was still conscious, that was good!

She looked up briefly when she realized that the woman was long gone by now and she cursed herself for not stopping her, “Shit!” She turned over things to do next in her mind, too panicked to settle on just one thing, ‘Should I report this? It was an assault, of course I should! Do I feel comfortable reporting a mother who was only trying to protect her child? No, no, there were other ways to resolve this, she didn’t need to hurt him! Does he want to report this??’ Ivette looked down at the man when he groaned once more, and she pulled her hair behind her ear nervously, leaning closer, “Is it alright if I help you sit up? Do you want to sit up?”

A slow nod was her answer and carefully she put one hand beneath his shoulder, wondering if she should support his head too, when he began to sit himself up on his own. She helped push him gently the rest of the way until he was able to sit up properly, but she kept her hands where they were, just in case he tipped over.

He rubbed his face slowly, bangs falling over his eyes, “Ah … Yes, t-thank you, my honey …”

Ivette processed his English, taken aback.

The man lifted his head and Ivette flinched, face drawn in shock at his face, caved-in into the shape of a fist perfectly, like a mold had been cast. Her mind went into overdrive as she started panicking again, ‘Oh my god!’ The greaser gave the back of his head a hard pat and his face seemed to pop right back to normal, at least she had thought so until she saw the red, angry swell to his eyes. A thin sliver of his brown irises were visible behind the puffy watering skin, and blood trickled from his nose; his left eye seemingly trembled at her for emphasis and Ivette was unable to stop herself from making another face at the sight.

At the silence, the man shifted nervously in his spot before crossing his legs and leaning forward in a “cool” pose like he wasn’t hurt in the slightest, “Heh … a kind stranger has come to my rescue. ” His voice was timid for the way he tried to present himself, “I am a honest man, I’ll admit this never—" He pitched forward suddenly, hand flying to his mouth as he hacked up blood, red squirting from between his fingers, and Ivette’s face paled, a horrified squeal escaping her.

“Thank you very much!” An elderly ice cream man thanked a couple of high school students, smiling wide as the two walked off enjoying their cold treats. His smile faltered in curiosity when the quick pounding of footsteps reached his ear, like something was rushing towards him and he turned to the noise only for a woman to slam her hands down on his stand with an incredible force, startling him. He stared on in confusion as she panted hard, hair sticking to her forehead from the run before looking up, still struggling to catch her breath, “T-two! No—two mai-No! Ni ice—!” Ivette whined, slamming a hand down on the counter, obviously frazzled and looking a bit crazy, “TWO! I NEED TWO! PLEASE!”

“They feel like they’re starting to melt, is it ok if I look?”

“O-of course! Please, do what you must!”

Ivette leaned a bit closer to him on the bench, peeling one of the softened monaka packages off the man’s left eye as carefully as she could. The swelling had gone down considerably, and she released a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding in relief, shoulders relaxing, “Thank goodness, the swelling’s gone down.” Placing the package on her lap, she examined his eye more closely, “Can you see?”

He squinted his eye, trying to focus in on the woman sitting across from him, but all he could see was colors, all blobbed together, like looking through stained glass.

His lips flattened in a tight line, concentrating, and Ivette leaned in again, raising her hand to his face, “Here, maybe this will help …” She peeled the other monaka back just as carefully as the first, satisfied to see the swelling had gone down for his right eye as well, it squinting upon exposure to the light. The skin around his eyes was still an angry red, and he’d have some nasty bruising tomorrow, but for now she was just glad it looked better.

When he didn’t say anything, looking just as lost as before, she held up two fingers in front of his face, “Can you tell me how many fingers you see?”

He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning in close to her fingers, inspecting them intensely before closing his eyes, humming thoughtfully. She dropped her hand and wondered if the pain was too much to keep his eyes open when he gave a short shaky smirk, stroking his chin, “Trick question, my dear~”

“It … wasn’t,” Ivette bit her lip, thinking about what to do next, “Are you sure you don’t want to go to a hospital? I could—”

“Non, non, non! I couldn’t possibly burden my noble heroine any more than I already have!”

“I’m not—“ Ivette started, shaking her head flustered, “It wouldn’t be a burden at all.” There was only so much she could do for him with a few makeshift ice packs that weren’t going to survive the heat for long. Cleaning the blood off his face and wrapping a few monakas in hand towels wasn’t nearly enough to be called a heroine, or to qualify as decent medical care. “A real doctor could fix you up much better than I can …” she persisted, pulling another hand wipe from her purse when she noticed a dry fleck of blood she’d missed earlier near his mouth, “I’m going to clean the corner of your mouth again, is that ok?”

“Y-yes! It is!” He stiffened, warmth spreading across his face when her hand came to his cheek, gingerly holding him still as she rubbed the spot away with a gentle pressure, like he was something delicate, something cherished. Her hand was soft, and he felt himself flush deeper when he was overcome with the sudden urge to lean into it, quickly squashing the idea before he could consider it further, “Y-you’ve already done so much! It’s more than enough!” The wet sensation near his mouth was lifted away along with her hand and he opened his eyes, vision still cloudy.

Ivette’s brows furrowed as she regarded him with concern, “But you’re still hurt …”

“Heh~” The colors were starting to resemble a shape, the black and white smudge sitting across from him starting to have blurred edges, “I’ve born far worse than this, my dear, I’ll survive~”

Ivette looked at him quizzically, wondering what other scuffles he could have possibly gotten himself into before remembering how he hit the ground, “What about your head? Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”

The man touched the back of his head gently, trailing his fingertips lightly over the back of his skull before applying more pressure, “It’s still a little tender, but nothing I can’t deal with!”

“Tender?” Ivette wanted to huff in frustration, what was his deal? Why all this talk about going through worse? Dealing with things? Not being a burden? He couldn’t see! Why couldn’t he worry about himself? “Is it alright if I take a look?”

He jumped, taken aback, “Uh, yes! O-of course!” He watched the black and white blur stand and he turned his head, unconsciously holding his breath as he waited for movement of any kind. Nobody had ever been this concerned about him before. His hands clenched as he thought about his family, and how quick his brothers were to dismiss him when he needed help, when he was in pain.

“Let me know if it hurts.”

“I will …”

“And also,” Ivette smiled weakly down at him, “Please be honest with me, ok?”

His heart started pounding in his chest and he could only nod, a small smile of his own crossing his face, “I will.” Her fingers gently grazed his hair and when he made no sign of discomfort she continued, slowly applying more pressure. Relaxing, he made sure he paid close attention to the spots she touched, trying to gauge his pain.

He … wasn’t used to this, actually being taken care of like this, and by a complete stranger no less. Memories of his brothers started to return, even though he’d told himself they’d moved past it and he didn’t need to think about it anymore. His own brothers couldn’t even be bothered to rescue him when his life was on the line, tied to a pole in the middle of the ocean or set ablaze in front of their own home. But this stranger … she stopped for him, when everyone else was perfectly fine with walking around him and leaving him there to pick himself up eventually. She helped him up, she offered to take him to a hospital, she ran off to get something cold for his injury, she even came back, that was what surprised him the most. With his luck he was surprised she didn’t just take off and leave him sitting there for hours until the realization that he was ditched set in. She did all that and then stayed with him, cleaning him up and taking care of him. He didn’t even know how long it had been, but he had a feeling it had to have been around an hour or more.

He didn’t know this woman.

But she was kind.

“No blood. Doesn’t seem to be any swelling …” she thought aloud to herself in English, impressed for how hard he hit the ground, “And you’re sure it doesn’t hurt anywhere?”

“Nothing to worry too much about, my dove! As I’ve said, I’ve endured worse!” If he were wearing his sunglasses he would have slid them up the bridge of his nose to hide behind them, feeling uncharacteristically shy. He cringed as he thought back to the incident, “My back took most of the impact, so my head should be more or less fine.”

“Your neck—” Ivette started only for him to interject, his hand going to rub the nape of his neck reassuringly.

“—Is fine! Don’t worry about me, Honey,” He closed his eyes, smirking at no one, “I’m sturdier than I look.”

Ivette frowned, moving to sit next to him again as she reached for the coldest monaka, re-wrapping it in the hand towel. It wasn’t going to last that much longer so might as well get as much use out of it as they could. She held it in her hand for a while as she thought; he didn’t want to go to the hospital and she couldn’t convince him to change his mind. He didn’t seem to have a concussion, but he still couldn’t see.

“I’m going to put this back on your eye, so it might be a little cold.”

“I can take it~”

His hand came up to his face to hold the ice cream package in place himself, calloused fingers lightly brushing her own in the transfer.

‘Maybe I can get him back to his house? Have someone there convince him to go … I’ll have to ask—’ Ivette’s brows furrowed.

His name.

She never asked for it.

“Uh …”

“Hmm?”

He blinked hard with his uncovered right eye, the fuzzy shapes becoming even clearer than before. The silhouette of his rescuer was sharper now.

Ivette pulled her hand back, embarrassed for keeping it on his own for so long, “Your name.”

“Eh?”

“I’m sorry,” She wondered how the thought had never crossed her mind earlier, “I never asked what it was.”

The man stared at her silently before realization dawned on him. He too also wondered how he’d never thought to give it to her, “Ah, my name …” Suddenly everything was too bright. He squinted, allowing his eyes to refocus, “It’s Matsuno Karamatsu.”

How long had he kept this poor woman here? The amberine glow to her eyes could only mean the sun was setting … but then why had it been so bright? It didn’t feel like it had been that long …

Karamatsu blinked hard again, only registering the other monaka being lifted to his face when the stranger began to lean in to him.

Ivette noticed his eye fall on the ice cream, something it hadn’t done the other times, before widening when it met hers. Her request to have him close his eye died on her tongue, her head tilting when his lips parted in surprise.

“Can you see it?” she asked gently, slightly worried about the spooked look on his face.

He didn’t answer. Karamatsu continued to stare, the hand holding the other ice cream pack slowly lowering to his lap as his eyes bore into hers.

It was still noon.

The sky was blue.

The sunset was really …

She sat back in her seat, concern dampening her features. He was frozen. Karamatsu blinked a few more times, his left eye seeming to adjust to the brightness before he shook his head, flustered.

“Y-yes! Yes, I could see it!”

Ivette smiled, relief washing over her, “That’s good!”

He could see again! That was good! But!

Her smile grew weak, “Are you still sure you don’t want to see a doctor?”

A couple walked by, the man sneaking a glance at Ivette before his girlfriend noticed, frowning and tugging on his arm hard, pulling him away faster.

Karamatsu couldn’t tear his gaze away from her eyes, almost entranced by them. His lips curled into a shy smile back, “Yes, I’m sure.”

This was the lovely stranger who had helped him. The kind woman who offered her hand when no one else would.

It didn’t matter what he had to do or how long it would take, he would repay the kindness she had shown him, he swore his life on it.

“Are you really going to be ok?”

Karamatsu flicked his bangs out of his eyes, smirking; the swelling was much better now, the skin around his eyes almost back to normal save for the crimson rings that were beginning to darken with bruises, “Worry not, my dear champion! This broken man is capable of putting the rest of his pieces back together again!”

Ivette’s lips turned up a little awkwardly, she wasn’t entirely sure she’d understood that quite right. She just decided to go with what she thought she’d heard, “I’m no champion.” She tucked some hair behind her ear as she laughed bashfully. “But I’m glad you seem to be a little better now.”

Karamatsu jolted, cheeks warming in a way that went unnoticed by her because of the red rings marring his skin.

Her laugh.

It was cute.

“Thank you.” He said it as sincerely as he possibly could, feeling like he’s never meant anything he’s said more. Even for something as small (she had claimed) as this. He wanted her to know.

Ivette pulled her purse back up her shoulder, waving it off, “There’s no need to thank me for anything, Matsuno-san.” Giving him an apologetic look, she continued, “I wish I could have done more.”

“I-it was enough!” he reassured her, louder than he’d intended to. He wanted her to know how much this meant to him. Needed her to know. Snapping his arms to his sides, he closed his eyes and bowed low, surprising most of the people that walked by, including her. “It was more than enough! Thank you! Thank you for everything!”

People stopped and watched as Ivette stared at him in shock, whispering about the strange scene amongst themselves.

A desperate man thanking a girlfriend-for-hire, perhaps?

Karamatsu was about to lower himself further, when her hands came to his shoulders, stopping him.

“You don’t have to do that!”

Something like this had never happened to her before, and slight social panic quickly overtook her, “Please stand up!”

The gentle push to his shoulders made him open his eyes slowly to the floor before trailing back up to her, confusion settling into his features. She seemed to realize she was still touching him and took her hands back immediately, slightly mortified. This was all just too much for her.

“But—!” Karamatsu started, only to be cut off by her.

“Please stand …” her voice was soft, and Karamatsu found himself drawn to the sunset of her eyes once more, practically begging him to do as she said. Karamatsu wanted to protest, wanting her to see just how serious he was about this, but begrudgingly stood, unable to deny such a heartfelt plea.

The crowd slowly began to disperse, uninterested now that the weirdo in the painful leather jacket wasn’t going to throw himself prostrate before the sexy foreigner anymore.

An awkward silence fell over them as they just stood there, both lost in their own thoughts of what to do next.

“Will you be able to get home safely?” Ivette asked, still hesitant to leave.

Karamatsu looked to her in surprise. Gathering his bearings, he melted right back into his usual cool self, “Your concern for me touches my heart, ma chère, but you needn’t worry for me. Already, I feel even better than I did before and should have no trouble going back the way I came!” Placing his sunglasses over his eyes, he smirked, the cracks running down the center of the lenses not bothering him in the slightest, “My home is also not too far from here so I should be fine.” He added, not as dramatically.

Smiling, Ivette took her phone out of her purse to call a taxi, after this little adventure she was certain she wouldn’t have enough time to attempt walking back to work.

Karamatsu was about to say something else when he noticed the woman’s eyes suddenly widen as she stared at the screen silently, grip tightening around the device in her hand. Her face paled, back straightening and mouth opening and closing repeatedly, like a fish stranded on land.

He unconsciously raised a hand out to her, concerned, “Is something wrong?”

It was 3:30. Her break ended three hours ago.

“I’m sorry I need to go!”

Karamatsu blinked at her, words quickly escaping him as he watched her turn slightly, still talking to him.

“I—” a thought came to her and she bowed courteously, “I’m sorry this is so abrupt, but I have to go back to work—now! Please take care of yourself, Matsuno-san!”

It was like the clock had struck midnight.

“W-wait! Please!” Karamatsu called out to her, reaching for her hand, before stopping himself.

The woman turned back to him, looking ready to break into a sprint at any moment. He was holding her up, he knew this, having the audacity to keep her there longer, but he couldn’t just let her walk out of his life never having her kindness paid back in full.

“Is there any way I can repay you for all you’ve done?” Karamatsu asked.

She was taken aback, raising her hands in front of her, she shook her head, “I’ve already told you, Matsuno-san, there’s no need to!”

“I want to!” He assured her earnestly, “I know you think that this wasn’t much, but it was! And I couldn’t possibly let you go without letting you know how grateful I am!”

Ivette bit the inside of her cheek, not knowing what to do. He didn’t need to repay her anything, but she also didn’t have the time to go back and forth with him about it like before. He didn’t seem to be trying to weasel her into a date with him as her “payment” like other guys, so that was nice. He wasn’t up in her space, he wasn’t keeping her prisoner by the hand, he seemed to want to pay her back simply because he thought it was the right thing to do, even though she thought it wasn’t necessary.

Sighing, she came to the conclusion that just once it would be ok. The burden of “paying her back” would be lifted from his shoulders and he’d never have to worry about it again. She could ask for something small and that’d be the end of it.

“Ok …” she conceded, “Ok.”

Karamatsu beamed, and Ivette gawked at the sight for a moment. It was the happiest she’d seen him so far.

“But not now,” she reminded him, “I need to go back to work, so some other time?”

“Yes, of course!” Karamatsu’s eyes were sparkling, elated.

“Here,” Ivette opened up her contacts list and made a new one, “Why don’t you give me your phone number and—”

“Ah, my phone number …” his hand came up to stroke his chin, expression turning sheepish, “I don’t have a phone.”

Ivette stared at him incredulously. Realizing that she was just wasting time staring at him, she locked her phone, “Not even a home phone?”

“I do but—you see it’s—” He rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how to explain not wanting her to call only to have one of his brothers answer the phone instead, “complicated.”

Ivette’s lips formed a tight line, knowing she needed to go setting her nerves on edge, “Ok …” She opened her purse, digging around for a pen. She always carried one, where was it? Her eyes settled on her business card holder and she snatched it up, relieved that she hadn’t left it at work.

Karamatsu watched curiously as she walked closer to him, slipping a card from the baby pink holder before placing it back in her bag. With both hands on the card she handed it over to him with a light bow, and Karamatsu jolted, reaching for it and doing the same. This was the most professional interaction he’d had in a long time and Karamatsu grimaced internally, realizing he should feel some sort of embarrassment that it had caught him off guard.

Stepping even closer, she pointed to a number on the card, “This is my cell phone number. I’m usually off work after 7 but you can leave me a message during the day if you’d like.”

He nodded, listening intently as she listed all the other times he could try calling her as briefly as she could.

Taking a step back, she clapped her hands together, “Is there anything else?”

His gaze went from the card in his hands, to her, “No, I believe that’s it. Thank you. Again, for everything.”

The woman smiled, and he smiled shyly back.

“Good!” Glancing at the clock she suddenly noticed on the other side of the walkway, her eyes shot back to him, “I have to go now.” Retrieving her phone once more she pulled up the number for a taxi, starting to turn as she did so. She hit the call button, but looked back to him one last time, “Please, take care of yourself, Matsuno-san.”

Karamatsu wanted to say something back, to tell her to do the same, but she was already gone, phone pressed to her ear as she ran towards the main street. He was amazed at how fast she could run in her heels, worry suddenly taking over with the thought that she could get hurt.

Heads turned as she ran past, and Karamatsu realized he should have walked her to wherever she was being picked up. He made to follow when he saw her come back from around the corner, a taxi pulling up beside her. She hopped in—ever elegant, even in a hurry—and then she was gone.

Karamatsu stared at the spot he’d last seen her, wide-eyed.

Scenes from a fairytale flashed through his mind, the situation feeling all too familiar. He murmured to himself, wide eyes sparkling, “My Cinderella …”

The thought that he’d never gotten her name followed immediately after.

Eyes dropping to the card in his hand, he moved the thumb that was covering it quickly, reading the katakana for her name and sounding it out to himself.

‘Ivette.’

The front door slid open, and Osomatsu looked up from where he was laying on the floor to see who it was.

“I’m home …”

Oh, it was just Karamatsu.

“Yeah, yeah, welcome home!” he called over his shoulder uninterested. When Karamatsu said nothing else and walked heavily to the staircase, that caught his attention. Usually Karamatsu wouldn’t shut up, whether it be try-hard deep nonsense or something about his day and what he’d done, he always had something to say, and this sudden silence freaked Osomatsu out a bit. Pushing himself to sit up, he watched Karamatsu trudge up the stairs looking like a zombie, and was that … something pink in his pocket? Osomatsu was silent as he watched the figure of his younger brother disappear, wondering if something happened. Shrugging it off, he reached for another handful of Ichimatsu’s chips, attention going back to the tv.

Karamatsu always had something to say. If something was wrong he’d tell his nii-chan.

Karamatsu slid the door to their room open, relieved for once to see it was empty. Shuffling in, he slid the door shut behind him and reached into his pocket, pulling out the business card. He stared at it for a few moments before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, thinking.

This was a girl’s phone number.

It was on a business card, but it was still her phone number.

He examined it further, flipping it around to see it was identical on the backside but written in English.

Girls didn’t go through the trouble of making fake business cards, did they?

He shook his head, berating himself. He didn’t have her number to take her on a date, he was just going to pay her back, that was all. Karamatsu reached into his other pocket, almost forgetting about the hand towels he’d shoved in there right before entering the house. Unfolding one of them in his palm, he looked at it. The small white towel had a pink border, a pattern of pastel heart shaped objects from some magical girl anime he wasn’t familiar with decorating it, and he felt himself melt a little at how adorable it was.

He had to find a way to wash them without anyone finding out. He would return them the next time he saw her.

‘The next time …’

Karamatsu looked back to the card, blushing as his eyes traced the characters of her name once more.

He’d have to find a safe place to hide everything; nothing was ever safe amongst these wolves, the fact that everyone knew where each other’s porn stashes were was proof enough of that.

#12 PAGES WHAT'S UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP #IT'S HERE IT'S FINALLY HERE #I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG--REALLY REALLY SORRY I'M SORRY!!!!!!#I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF YOU KNOW WHAT?? I'M ACTUALLY GONNA PUT THIS IN HIS TAG #Karamatsu #Karamatsu Matsuno #EEEEEEYYYY LOOK AT THAT I /NEVER/ DO THAT #BUT I'M HAPPY #SO LEAVE ME ALONE #karamatsu's girlfriend #I'm-I'm so happy I was able to finish this #answered

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selie1412-blog · 6 years ago

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Lets see how many Waluigi fans I can trigger with this post. Super Smash Bros Ultimate will be my first video game review. I believe everyone of there internet is familiar with this game series by now. If not, then what rock have you been living under for the past 20ish years.

The review will be split into two parts. First the review for the storyline, and then the review for the multiplayer section. It will become obvious as you continue reading. I sure hope you do so...

Spoilers of the story mode will be shown below. Proceed with caution.

Super Smash Bros Ultimate:

With an arsenal of 76 fighters to choose from and various assist trophies, cough Waluigi cough, from many different games and pokemon to also join in the battle the possibility for this game seems endless. Although, then Mr. Sakurai of course had to go above and beyond literally everyone’s expectations to add the spirits section which includes characters from countless other games, adding approximately 1200 new characters to the game. (I know that there is more than this, but the last hundreds is just spirits of all the fighters so I was not counting them.)

Summary:

The World of Light story mode for Smash Ultimate takes place when a new villain, Galeem, eliminates all the fighters and brainwashes them into serving its needs - basically turning them into his puppets. This all goes along to its plans except for the precious start child, Kirby, Mr. Sakurai’s beloved creation (well other then the entire Smash series). Kirby is then faced to *read in Morgan Freeman's voice* save the entire world! Then after beating Galeem for the first time a new villian emerges from the darkness, Dharkon, who seems to hold an impressive grudge again Galeem. The two seem to be in a constant battle with the recovered fighters only watching from the sidelines as their battle takes place.

For the multiplayer section of the game the format of it has changed drastically from Smash 3 and Smash 4 respectively Smash 3Ds and Smash Wii U. The rule section is now a mandatory passage into the game and the stage selection now comes before the character selection. The rules also can not be changed once you select them unless you back out all the from the match to change them. Multiple other features have also been implemented such as smashdown and a tournament mode. Spirits can also be used in multiplayer battle as well between friends.

Review:

I have to give some kudos (Shinichi AUGGGG!!! Sorry little fangirl episode. I apologize for the interruption.) to the story line overall. The plot was something unique and unexpected, and oddly entertaining considering the sheer lack of cutscenes and lore to go along with it. Being able to come up with a interesting storyline like it has after the Subspace Emissary is quite impressive. When watching through the Smash Directs waiting for the game to release I absolutely knew that there was going to be a new story mode to go along with this game, but I was unsure on what exactly it was going to be because the Subspace Emissary seems almost perfect. The World of Light appears to be a battle of good and evil where one can not appear without the other, yet can not survive without each other. I believe MatPat's description of the lore can be one possible interpretation of the story mode, but I also believe that there are others as well. In creating my review of this integration I did use The Game Theory’s theory for some inspiration and guidance, so I will be drawing off of that as a source.

Galeem and Dharkon physically seem to represent light and darkness respectively, so it would be obvious that they would be enamines. Then why do they both encapture all of the fighters who are supposed to be on the good side. Why would they both do so. Well the short and simple answer of that is that, as the cut senses show that is not the point. In the aspect of Galeem and Dharakon the fighters are meaningless, they have no value. Going back to the origin of it all, the fighters are supposed to simply represent a child playing with them and bringing them to life. In a matter of light and darkness the person playing or controlling the figure decides on how that they will behave. By the fighters being abducted by Galeem and Dharkon itis a simple change of hands. I mean even Master hand, general of Galeem, and then Crazy Hand, general of Dharkon, can easily represent order and discord. Each are traits of it varios counterparts. We, the player, are simply spectators watching a match between rivals of sorts. Each side has a general, 3 captains, various amounts of sargents (being the abducted characters), and then plentiful amounts of pawns (being the Spirits themselves). This battle we witness between the two is an war between light and darkness.

The ending of story more is only obtained through defeating both Galeem and Dharkon at the same time. This is the true ending which will set all the spirits free. If only defecting a single one then the other will destroy the world. Each which is called the bad ending. This true ending then meaning that light can not exist without darkness and then darkness can not exist without light. If simply darkness exists then the world will be thrown into chaos and discord while is only light exists then nothing would get done and everything will cease to exist. A balance is needed for harmony to happen. Throughout the final map of the game as spirits were defeated Galeem and Dharkon constantly fought for power to overtake the other. The player, not shown, represent this balancing act. The act of calming and defeating both of the large giants restored order to the world, adn allowed life to continue. Quoting Kingdom Heart, (Its a good game series lay off!) “ The closer you get to the Light, The Greater Your Shadow Becomes.” In order to maintain a balance as light grows the darkness should also grow. As the balancer in the game you are returning balance to the world that was taken out of balance when Galeem first tried to overtake Dharkon by taking all of the fighters into its own ‘hand’, and then when it was taken out by the balancer the shift in powers went over to Dharkon who’s power rose. Think of it as a see-saw, as one side rises the other sinks, but if you then release the side the rose it will then sink and the other side will rise.

(Wow! That was a lot of writing just on the lore, lol. I congratulate all who actually read through that.)

The playthrough of the story mode itself I was sadly a bit disappointed int. With The Subspace Emissary you could play multiplayer and there was even some playforming that characters could travers. I was sad when both of those features were taken out of the game. The graphics of the story mode itself was impressive though. I could see the real dedication to each aspect of the map, and how they tried to fit each portal area to a certain theme to a game. Like there was a Monster Hunter area, Bowser's Castle, Legend of Zelda, and a Castlevania. The avatar of every single character was impressive as well. I mean creating all of the sprites especially fro this one small thing was no small feat, so that trait I appreciated. I know the big theme for Smash Ultimate is, “Got to go fast” as quoted from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, but sometimes its a little nice to stop and smell the roses. Like in the story mode! I would honestly sacrifice about half of the spirit battles in spirit mode to have some fun platform levels of some sort. Even if it was just put in as minigames I would be happy. Like Hit the Target or Find the Exit from melee, or maybe even just reskining some of the platform levels from Subspace with a HD addition to it and throwing it into World of Light. Any of that would be amazing! I believe that added a lot of fun to the overall story mode itself, and it was one of the main reasons that made me actually want to replay and beat the story mode multiple times because it was something a bit different from the rest of the game. It made the story mode very unique, and it made it stand out.

As for the multiple player section there was a number of new additions and fighting formats that actually improved the overall experience and gameplay of it, but there was also some aspect that made me frustrated at. My favorite aspects by far was the implications of the smash down and tournament sections. The have finally added a tournament section, and that makes me soooooo happy! I no longer have to make homemade tournament charts!!! T^T The shashdown is also very helpful to play with people who are really only good with one person, and that one person can pretty much wipe you out no matter what you do. It adds a lot of fairness to the game which succeeds in making it a lot more fun for the people out there who are good at a lot of characters, but not really good at just one (I actually sit in between these people. I have 3 mains who I like to fight as a lot, but I am decent at pretty much everyone else in the game. Well except for Mr. Game and Watch and Olimar. My mains by the way are: Mewtwo, Ganondorf, and Lucas.)

My main drawback with the multiplayer section of the game is actually how the rule selection is set up. For tradition Smash mode you have to go through the process of first choosing your rules for the match, picking you stage, and then choosing you fighter. This is path you always have to go down when entering in the smash mode after exiting the game. if you finish a match it just takes you back to the stage selection section. The problem exists when you finish a match, but you realize you made a mistake in the rule creation. In order to fix it you first have to back all the way out of the match, then open up the select rules tab that you specifically created for this match set, then edit what you want, finally save it, and then back out after selecting it and proceeding onto the rest of the match. Now this would not be as much as a problem if you were able to set a rule tab as default, so you could enterally skip that one step and continue onto the match. Also, if you were allowed to edit the rules while inside the match selecting process such as when you are choosing you stage because you forgot to turn off the stage morph or stage hazards or you start selecting you character and realize that the match is still on time and not on stock. If these features were implemented then the rule section would only need to be opened when it was needed to create a new set of rules. I am not saying that I dislike the aspect of creating a custom set of rules to use for match because I think that is a very nice user friendly option for the players, but I do think that it need a little more work to be better. This is a new feature that just needs a few bugs worked out, and the it would be perfect.

For the fighters and the battles themselves, I have stated previously that the theme of Smash Ultimate is, “Gotta Go Fast,” so that is what everything is. The speed of all the characters have improved - making all the heavy characters now usable competitively - as well as the final smashes. This speed change has really made the game itself into the fastest, most adgil, and adaptive are the best. So it is no surprise that Sonic, Mewtwo, and Inkling has all made it into the top tiers for being if not the fastest, most adgil, and adaptive characters in the game respectively. The final smashes on most of the characters have changed in one way or another, some for the better and some for the worse. There is now a feature also to do diagonal air doges as well which helps out considerable for air movement and combat. Also the idea of perfect shielding has been improved, so it grants the player a chance attack the opponent when their defences are down a bit. There is not really much else to say in this area.

I am not going to touch on the classic mode much or the all-star mode much because they are pretty much the same as the previous game. Classic mode you fight about 6 battles with the last being either Master Hand or both Master Hand and Crazy hand at varying levels of difficulty. All-star mode is continuous matches with short breaks in between which goes on until you fight and defect every single smash fighter. I will only say this, which I have already stated before, I missed the small platforming levels inside Classic mode. It added something different to the overall flow which was a nice change of pace and mixed up the game some.

Overall Smash Ultimate is an amazing game that has blown not only mine but everyone elses socks off. From the vast amount of characters included to the thoughtful and in depth storyline, and all of the new features that it includes. I sincerely believe that Mr. Sakurai has outdone himself, and is in need of a well needed vacation. He has done an amazing job at trying his best at making every fan and every series present in this game feel loved. With all of that though I will be honored to give Super Smash Bros Ultimate an astounding score of a 9/10. Splitting each part up into its various categories the World of Light Story mode receives a not too shabby 8.5/10. This is because of the lack of platforming areas (tear) and for the lack of official lore or true story line which has left a lot of fans trying to actually deceivers what it means, me included (given my own interruption above). Then with the multiplayer section receiving an impressive 9.5/10. Only docking off points for the wonky rules section which could possibly be fixed in a later update.

Once again thank you very much for reading my update. If you actually succeeded in reading all of it. I apologize it was a bit long this time around, but there was a lot of content I had to cover. If you have any further comments or additions I may have missed please put them in the comments below or simply PM me. Again, I will state this every time, if anyone has any requests for anything they wish for me to review in the future please once again post them in the comments below or PM,

Finally, if anyone is interested you are welcome to join my discord server where we will talking about various anime, manga, video games, and other sources of media. I have posted the link below! :)

https://discord.gg/tvBR8Jn

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pastelsketches64 · 7 years ago

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Sketches of the Month: March!

Happy Easter-Fools Day everyone! Tumblr just pulled a funny joke on me actually, where I was half way through typing this post up and then the post just... disappeared.

Hilarious, right?

Seriously though, I post these from my iPad, and I apparently touched a notification that wasn’t there??? So this is my second time typing this up.

But it’s fine! I just feel bad since I type everything off the top of my head, so I personally feel bothered that I’m not saying exactly what I was saying before. Personal gripe though, so let’s just get back into this!

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1 & 2: Daily Dose of Sonic Gals!

This is probably gonna be a new segment in SotM now XD These are 2 requests from @ dailysonicgals : Amy and Cream as cheerleaders, and Heavy Magician and Heavy Rider in frilly dresses!

If you wanna see a bunch of cute art of Sonic girls, then I’d definitely recommend following, since everyone else is just so talented. I mean seriously, how can I even be associated with these people??? XD

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3: Amy Rose in Sonic Underground

So @zippityzap is remaking Sonic Underground, and they came up with a cool idea to potentially implement Amy into it. After her parents are roboticized, she is taken in by the Oracle as an apprentice, which explain the purple robes XD

I’m really glad that you liked how it turned out! It’s always fun to try and replicate another art style!

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4: An Adorable Helpy!

I’m pretty sure I created this blog a while after my FNaF obsession died down, but I’ve always been excited for the next game in the series. So let’s all just be honest here, Helpy is revolutionary.

I mean, an animatronic that doesn’t want to kill us??? That’s progress XD

Seriously though, Helpy is just so darn adorable and hilarious, and after a few attempts I think I finally captured just how cute he looks to me!

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5: Guess that Song! Ft. Discord Friends

Do any of y’all remember when I mentioned my friends livestreaming some stuff a while ago? Well, we’ve been doing it a bit more recently, and in the heat of the moment I quickly drew this up before we started one of them XD

If you’re interested at all in the funny actics we get up to, you can follow us at: https://www.twitch.tv/cosmiostar

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6: Tiny Sonk and Me

That’s literally all the context there is to this image XD One of the rare moments where I drew a perfect and precious Sonic, and I then had a strong need to finish it up digitally! Oh, I guess I’m there as well... huh... XD

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7: Mighty & Ray’s Adventures???

So if you’re as avid a Sonic fan as I am, then you have already seen the first episode of Sonic Mania Adventures. It’s so awesome, right?!

Well, during the SXSW Sonic panel, the idea of Mighty and Ray being in the animated shorts was brought up; and I decided that would be a good excuse to try and draw them in Tyson Hesse’s adorable arty style!

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And that is everything for this month! Did you notice the *keep reading* up there? Yeah, I figured out how to do it! Think I’ll go through my other SotM and add it in, since most other people don’t upload their art altogether and write a bunch about it XD

I hope you enjoyed what you saw, and I hope you’re excited for the MHA Big Bang stuff this month! It may be 2 or 3 more weeks of waiting, but that’s actually not that long!

It’s honestly where all my effort for backgrounds has went, which I have very little effort for it to begin with XD

#pastelsketches64 #sketches of the month #sotm #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #cream the rabbit #heavy magician #heavy rider #mighty the armadillo #ray the flying squirrel #five nights at freddy's #helpy #Pastel/Jennifer #discord friends

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theoriesontheory · 4 years ago

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And I Get Up Again I Get Up Again I - (how I fell in love with producing again/the making of ‘overdue conversations’ pt. 3)

When I got home, the morning I decided to start my project, after going and getting my morning coffee I found that I had turned some internal dialogue into the intro of a song. The lines “where have you been? You’ve been lost inside you head” sung by my computer/the creative parts of myself to me seemed like an interesting place to start a song. I quickly recorded a voice memo.

found_sound.mp3

overdue conversation - voice memo

Even on that memo I sensed that this track was going to be a lot of different things because even in the two sections I had vaguely worked out in my head, the feeling was very different. The ever-changing feeling of this song has become what makes it stand out as unique to me when I look at what I have made so far. The reason it moves from section to section, constantly introducing new musical ideas rather than establishing one that we keep coming back to is this song was composed as it took shape.

What I mean is I made one of the synths in the intro using the mac start up noise (a little nod to the idea that my muse from within my computer is talking to me) and added a second subtle synth part and recorded scratch vocal for that part there. Then I laid down the 808 layer and some basic drums for the first section and recorded that section. And so, I progressed through the entire song. This meant that I was writing melodies and lyrics based on what I felt in the moment of creating the track. Initially I thought the song was going to take a more negative slant, the initial working title being ‘l0ser’ but the remember line turned it for me. I have been doing a lot of introspection recently and trying to document the things I think while I am at various points of mental health. This helps me put my thoughts into perspective and offers insights into triggers and, when used in moderation can be a place to draw ideas for lyrics from. When the line “remember, remember what you said when you were all alone” while it came from somewhere in my brain took me to nights where I felt like the world was falling down but I got back up. I got up because I have gotten up before and I have made promises to myself to keep getting up. The vocal performance on the bridge was completely improvised in a scratch take and the version that I use on the track was the second one I performed, it came from inside of me and that kind of reflected the point that I have landed on with this track.

For such a long time I have felt frozen by the pressure I put on myself to make things that blow people away. Ironically, I was taking what drew me to hyperpop initially, the raw, emotional, hyper nature of it and I was trying to make it fit in what I thought a perfect hyperpop song could be, and that wasn’t a fun way to make stuff. Eventually, through reflection, making stuff and just committing to what I wanted to achieve which was no longer a perfect song but being happy as a creator and artist with what I have made. I am reminded by some funny but poignant comments made by 100 gecs in an interview with pitchfork. Dyllan Brady said that his barometer for if a song was good was, he framed it in the context of his friend coming up to him and showing him the track. (2020) Most stuff, if you said your friend made it you would think was great and encourage their career. That is the new energy I am trying to manifest for my critique of my own work. The tempo change is a primary example of this kind of thinking. Tempo changes in my head are often corny and there are rules (in western music theory tradition) as to how you do them. Even in contemporary music there are rules about changing the tempos of songs in clubs for transitions. I wrote off drastic and sudden tempo changes as poor writing and bad technique. But as I was working on this song, I realised that the two sections I had in my head didn’t fit together if I tried to have them be at all the same speed, so I decided to have a set tempo for the intro and outro and bump up the tempo for the body of the piece. Once I had all the parts together, I went through a process of simplifying some parts, reducing them to what it needs to be added to the song. I have been trying to do this kind of minimalization in parts of songs because I tend to try and be impressive and show how much music I can do, which in some cases is the perfect thing to do but you shouldn’t have all parts of your song doing it at the same time. My initial kick and 808 pattern were quite busy and produced an off kilter, swinging style rhythm that was interesting to listen to, but in the context of this track I didn’t need a rhythm section that was super interesting and academically put together, I needed drums that were big and loud and fun and bass to go alongside.

Once all the parts were simplified to what they needed to be, I started to mix and process all of the signals. This is often where I find my experience block come in. While I have been working in the software for 10 years, only the past 5 have been focused years and even then, only in the past 2 have I begun to experiment with anything beyond recording acoustic music. I have been trying to listen to other songs in the genre to go to as reference tracks, for example I really like the way aldn treats their vocals. [a particular favourite of mine are the two different vocal treatments in: what was the last thing you said]. And the big, distorted section at the end of underscores spoiled little brat acted as a big inspiration for the breakdown section at the end of my track. Using these reference points, I took what I understand about audio editing (which to be fair is a solid amount and I try and learn more every time I do it) and tried to make the sounds I had “fit”. The most important part for me was not necessarily that the track sounded exactly like another song but more that all the parts of the song fit sonically together and, to draw from Dyllan, if my friend came up to me and said that they did this would I think it was sick and encourage them to do more? It was at this point I had two primary problems that took me some time and multiple attempts to figure out. The first was the vocal mix. Like I have mentioned before, auto-tune is not the magic bullet that a lot of critics seem to paint it as, I view it as another instrument that I have had to learn how to play, and the way I play it is through a combination of my voice and my computer. One thing I really like about vocals in hyperpop tunes is that they are very clean. They are obviously manipulated and modulated in various ways, but they are always clean, and clear. I struggled to get this sound until I was watching a video from Red Bull Music Lab where producer Kenny Beats and T-Pain make a song together - Kenny Beats and T-Pain Cook Up an Instant R&B Classic | Red Bull Remix Lab

It’s a video I have watched before but it’s funny and fun and inspiring to see two great artists work together and I just happened to notice that in the effects chain for T-Pain’s vocals, before anything else there was a gate, set very low with a low return. I saw it and instantly understood why it was there, the job of the auto-tune the way I use it is it essentially processes the entire voice, synthesising what was once an analogue recording. However, without the gate, not only was it having that effect on the lyrics being sung but also on the various ambient noise picked up from recording in my bedroom. This along with some creative EQ work and compression got the vocals to a place I was finally happy with.

The second issue was the bass part. After working on my All Eyes on Me Cover for a morning I returned to ‘overdue conversations’ and found that the bass part was sticking out in an obnoxious way, downing out the mix and not feeling settled. I then spent a couple of hours trying different sounds, moving the octave of the part, changing the part, changing other parts. I worked for a few hours before I gave up, and then worked on it a bit, and then gave up, and then worked on it a bit, and then gave up. Even that night as I was eating dinner, I had 808 patterns in my head. The next morning, I loaded up the session and had a listen. Aside from re-recording the pattern in some of the sections to give what was already there some space and let most of the drive and momentum come from the kick pattern and some mix/processing adjustments, what I had wasn’t that bad at all. Reflecting on this, I think it was a combination of mental and physical (ear) fatigue, that day being full of making stuff and listening and trying things and having ideas, as well as instantly comparing what I had at that point to the finished cover that I had just posted to social media and was already getting some love for. After taking a night to sleep on my ideas and coming back with fresh ears the next day I realised that what I thought was going to have to be a full re-record of everything late in the game turned into some subtle tweaks.

So, with all of that said, here is a finalised version of ‘overdue conversations’ which is pretty much ready for commercial/official release but I want to have a few songs put together before I release anything on public channels.

found_sound.mp3

'overdue conversations'

References: Patel, P. (Interviewer). (2020, November). Pitchfork Review: 100 Gecs and the Mystery of Hyperpop. [Audio Podcast]. Get Wired. https://open.spotify.com/episode/1UnB4gNxTsInfjur0iVXEP?si=NXGfknGtTqSId4z-XhKNeg&dl_branch=1

#CIM 401.2 #found_sound.mp3 #hyperpop #original song #new music #process #musician #music #work in progress #canberra #australia #hyperpop journey #autoethnograophy

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rebelinksart · 7 years ago

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Hi ree! So im going to be selling my art at a con in artist alley! Are there any tips I should know? (i met you at a con last year, thats why im asking you)

Oh gee golly, there’s a whole lot to cover there, and I dunno what all you’ve already got figured out, but I’ll go ahead and touch on all the basics and feel free to send another ask or pm me if you want me to expand on anything! Also, sorry for sitting on this for so long, but I wanted to make sure I covered everything I wanted too. I’ll still probably forget a lot but, oh well.

So here we go! Ree’s guide to Convention Survival!

1- You’re going to do both better and worst then you expect!

Go ahead and erase everything you expect to occur at this convention. Chances are you aren’t going to get signed on to your favorite developer (Though I do have friends who’ve made connections at cons that lead to that later down the line ;3), but you’re going to do okay, people will show interest in your work, and you’re gonna learn a lot. I dunno it this is universal, but before every con i find myself in a constant back and forth between the best-and-worst case scenarios that leave me exhausted and nauseous before the event, yet always find myself in between both extreme scenarios. You’re going to do okay! I believe in you :D

2- You gotta talk to folks!

My first conventions, no exaggeration, were a bit of a nightmare. I found it hard to sell art and harder to make connections. This nightmare, however, was COMPLETELY self caused. There’s a billion artists in the artists alley. Even more than art, people are there looking for an artist. In order to draw folks in, you have to engage them! For me this was super rough because I’m introverted as all get out. What helped me break out of my little shell and make some friends and moolah was creating a persona to use as a sort of personality-shield while in these situations. While I’m by no means the expert on all this, the way I went about figuring out who I was gonna ‘pretend to be’ during cons was by looking at my art and figuring out how it made me feel, and then playing that feeling up to an extreme. The result’s an odd hybrid of Tour Guide Barbie and Tracer. I find myself going to this extra chipper form of myself whenever I need to engage with folks now, because it’s something I’ve practiced enough that I know how to use it as a way of socializing and engaging with folks. Find whatever little tricks and characterizations you need to make it easy to talk to folks, and then talk to everyone. Say hello to anybody who’ll make eye contact, ask folks who stop how the con’s been for them, ect.

2.5- You gotta get folks to talk to you!

This was a little trick that I actually learned from my mentor! Once you’ve gotten people to stop at your table, get them to talk to you. Ask them questions about their day! If they express interest in a particular print that they like, ask them if they like the series its based off of: who their favorite character was, what they though of the sequel, who they main, etc. Phrase things so that it stops being a conversation between a buyer and seller, but between two fans of a similar thing. If you met me at a con, chances are you saw me doing this in action. It feels a little awkward at first, but not only is it a good way of getting folks more interested in your work, it’s a great way to make connections and friends. I’ve met so many cool folks through conventions, and a majority of them I met from them stopping and pointing out a picture I had for sale.

3- Have a variety of stuff for sale

This is one I’m still working on learning, but it’s very important- try to have a good variety of stuff available! This comes in two varieties- First, have stuff based off a lot of different media. Have a good mix of movies, comics, games, cartoons, anime, etc. Try not to let yourself have 20 prints of your favorite show and then a handful of other things . Try to keep it balanced. Second, try to have your work available in a variety of forms. The main way to sell art is as a print, but the more options you have the more interested people are gonna be, and the more likely you’ll be able to sell something to someone hesitant about buying. Popular options asides from prints are stickers, buttons, charms, notebooks, phone cases, pillows, and magnets. Along with that, if you feel like being a bit busier during the convention, bring some art supplies and offer sketch commissions! In my experience a whole lot of folks come to cons just for sketch commissions- During my cons I’ll end up having to take things back to my hotel room and draw through the evening just to cover all the commissions I get.

3.5- Ask other artists about the stuff they sell!

Again, if you’re as introverted as I am, this may be hard, but i highly encourage having someone watch your table for a bit so you can walk around the artist alley. Look for products/art styles/ concepts you like, then walk up to the artist and ask them how they made it, what programs they used, where they ordered it. A lot of folks aren’t gonna really be interested in giving away ‘trade secrets’ or whatever, but this is an industry, not a competition, and I guarantee there will be some artists there that will let you know about a cheap place to order good stickers from or a cool free art program. Plus, art friends are always the best friends to have, and those connections will get you a whole lot of cool info down the line.

4- Remember to have fun!

This is gonna be a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ sort of thing. It can be easy to get hyper focused on the need to do well at your convention. However there’s a lot of cool things to experience, and you shouldn’t make yourself miss out on them! See if you can get someone to watch your booth if there’s a panel you’re interested in, see what activities are going on after the artist alley closes, buy something neat for yourself. Work can be pleasure too!

LAST SILLY LITTLE BONUS POINTS

-Every con I’ve been to has rules about food, but every con I’ve been to artists take food into the alley while they’re working. While I dunno the rules on it all, every con I pack my bag full of at least 3 Neuro Sonic’s and a bunch of skittles and granola bars to keep me going. Haven’t been yelled at yet. I say get your munch on and see if you can avoid pricey convention food.

-Also, probably not healthy advice, but caffinate HEAVILY. You know those Neuro Sonic things I mentioned five seconds ago? They sell em in Walmart, and are the only reason I’ve ever survived a convention ever. Coffee, soda, tea, whatever you gotta do. Keep yourself kicking.

-If you’re still looking for places to buy products, Vistaprint is my go-to for most my stuff. Good prints, great business cards, I plan on ordering some of their cards and notebooks for my next con.They also have sales all the time, which is super rad.

-Oh snap, BUSINESS CARDS. If you don’t have some, get some. If you have some, GET MORE. That was the biggest surprise my first convention, is the sheer amount of business cards people will take. Like good golly. Get yourself a ton of business cards

That’s all I can think of right now. Let me know if you have any other questions, or if you’d like me to rant more about stuff! And good luck at your convention! You’re gonna do great!

#ree talks #i believe in you!!#convention #artists alley #Anonymous

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frances048 · 7 years ago

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My 2017 Summary Of Art by Fran48

Blank meme : https://dustbunnythumper.deviantart.com/art/2017-Summary-of-Art-BLANK-718337918 ..Here we go again..Another year is nearly at it's end so I decided once again to do this meme to show how far I've come with my art this year :) Here are previous years' memes if you're interested :D 2012: https://fran48.deviantart.com/art/2012-Art-Summary-Fran48-343638908 2013: https://fran48.deviantart.com/art/2013-Art-Summary-Fran48-422621435 2014: https://fran48.deviantart.com/art/My-2014-Summary-Of-Art-Fran48-503896864 2015: https://fran48.deviantart.com/art/My-2015-Summary-of-art-578886586 2016: https://fran48.deviantart.com/art/Fran48-s-2016-Summary-Of-Art-654040723 This year, like last year has been pretty bad This year in a nutshell..but I'm hoping (and praying) that surely next year can't be nearly as stressful..maybe I'll jinx myself doing that though ^^;..I managed to fit in artwork each month though, maybe I just did it as some form of stress relief this year..idk but seeing improvements and new pieces that I was satisfied with, definitely made me feel a lot better ^^ The resources I used this year included Ms paint, Watercolour paints, coloured pencils, mechanical pencils, fine liner pens, pencils, coloured pens, chalk , charcoal ,crayons, camera, phone, video camera, felt tip pens, and much later in the year, Paint tool sai, which I also used to edit this along with Ms paint.. January That month, I did quite a few paintings using the art set my Grandad bought for me last Christmas...They included the featured picture : , a few other naruto pictures,Painting Hokage NarutoKakashi and Obito painting a gravity falls picture Bill cipher paintingand Ruby rose picturePainting of Ruby Rose RWBY. I also drew some digital pieces and created a Naruto gifNaruto Hokage Gif..I also did traditional sketches and used some charcoal.. We also went to see the comedian Graham Fellows as his character John shuttleworth this month which was so funny and I drew a sketch of him too :)John Shuttleworth sketch February: That month I got into Mirai Nikki and Star wars animated series (recommended by my dear friend :iconkoikii: ^_^ )as you can see by the featured images: I also started watching some of sgt frog and drew art from it:KururuDororo and also finished watching One Punch man and drew a few pieces from it, including a speedpaint:Painting of TornadoSaitama ok colouredSpeed o sound sonic speedpaint I also continued to draw digital pieces and paintings including a Haku and Zabuza reunion piece which I was really proud of :When a person has something they want to protect March: In March, I got into Miraculous Ladybug so drew fanart of it including the featured picture: Marinette-Ladybug I also drew a few sketches that month and Naruto shippuden ended ;w;..Noooooo so I drew this pic..;w;..Naruto uzumaki wedding day- The end of Shippuden I also was thinking of getting to Evangelion in March so I drew Shinji..Shinji Iraki.I didn't draw much around this time as I was extremely busy struggling with my honours degree coursework ;w; April During April I continued to do some paintings and sketches but also continued to create digital drawings such asIva one pieceNarusasu -each other's coloursGiroro Sgt Frog Speedpaint (youtube link)...and the featured pictureTrafalgar law time skip I watched Evangelion during April and finished the main series feeling extremely confused ...I also did a Beamish vlog https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SZIAOa7X9k and took a lot of photos May In this month, I got into four different anime series as you can tell by the featured pictures: Kuro blue exorcistYuuri- Yuri on iceShiho Kimizuki They were, Danganronpa the animation, Blue exorcist, Yuri on ice and Seraph of the end (as told about by the awesome :iconrealrockandrolla1996: :D ) , because of this I drew some fanart from the series, mainly traditional pen drawings and ms paint drawings. I also continued to do photography when I could. June That month I turned 23! XD I got up to date with Attack on titan and created a couple of paintings of characters from the series.Ymir and HistoriaAnnie leonhart painting I also continued drawing Danganronpa pieces (two of which are featured :Gundam Tanaka Teruteru Hanamura) I also got up to date with Puella Magi Magica Madoka in June , as well as Kill la kill. So I drew a lot of ms paint, pen drawings and charcoal pieces. I also went to Sunnycon this year in Two cosplays..Mikasa and Konan and produced fanart for Bryce Papenbrook and Jessie and James' voice actors to sign..They loved my pieces which filled me with a lot of pride and made me so happy <33 I also took a lot of photos from Sunnycon so please feel free to check them out in my gallery ^_^ or in my sunnycon journal entry for this year ^^ Sunnycon 2017 :D July This month I finally graduated from Uni with a First Class Honours degree and published paper and not long after that I went on holiday to Scotland and lost my Grandma ...so I did most of my drawings later in the month..^^; I did a few digital pieces including my Mephisto speedpaint : Mephisto Youtube Speedpaint (link below)in July but mainly did Photography and traditional pieces..my traditional pieces were drawn in fine liner pen and mechanical pencil and helped me practise shading techiques I also got through all the Ouran high school host club anime August Did A few speedpaints this month including the Oma one: Kokichi Ouma- Youtube speedpaint :D (link below)and started watching Magi and drew fanart from it..I also continued drawing Danganronpa artwork and a few ms paint drawings too :) and continued writing more chapters for my fanfics. September Continued drawing digital ms paint drawings including the two images featured:Haruhi speedpaint(link below)Yukio Blue exorcist youtube speedpaint(link below) Also continued drawing traditional artwork and started watching Rosario + vampire season 1 properly. I also did a Sarada Uchiha week challenge which I really enjoyed as I love Sarada so much and loved drawing her and coming up with different ideas to meet the themes :3 https://fran48.deviantart.com/gallery/64137303/Sarada-Uchiha-week-2017 Also later in September, on the recommendation of a deviant here, I started trying to use paint tool sai to produce some pieces :D : I also watched the Studio Ghibli film 'When Marnie was there' and drew a piece to show my appreciation for it ^_^ I also tried to incorporate Art deco into one of my pieces October: Through October, I worked on Inktober: https://fran48.deviantart.com/gallery/64332793/Inktober-2017 and Goretober : https://fran48.deviantart.com/gallery/64332822/Goretober-2017 Similtanously. I also did my very first drawing Livestream on instagram which was of K1-B0 from Danganronpa v3 https://fran48.deviantart.com/gallery/?catpath=%2Fflash&edit=0&q=livestream and started making song covers which I converted to Flash files. I continued to create ms paint and paint tool sai art, one piece was a Mental health awareness piece which I created as I was struggling massively with my anxiety at the time and needed to express it :Ruminiation-Mental health awareness I also did a few speedpaints including the two featured in this meme. I also went on holiday during October and made another Vlog The suprise you guys were waiting for-VLOG! and took quite a few photos :) I also started doing Monthly polls for my watchers to decide on which speedpaints I should do first.. November: That month, I continued to create speedpaints and digital some of which were featured in this meme. Himawari speedpainting (link below).Moka speedpaint (link in description) Madoka and KyuubeyI also finished Rosario + vampire series 1..I started to create some Christmasy themed art as well as some black and white drawings and a few digital pieces. I also saw Paddington and watched Paddington 2 at the cinemas so created the piece featured due to my enjoyment of the film ^_^Paddington I also watched some of the playthrough of Ultra despair Girls and drew some art from it ^^ In addition, I also created an epilepsy awareness picture a day after having a seizure at work to make people aware of how debilitating it can be.. Even though I did a few different pictures throughout November, I started my apprenciceship then and so I drew inbetween work (though very tired) and at weekends so I wasn't as productive as previous months.. December: This month..I continued watching the current season of Rwby and drew two speedpaint fanarts from it, one that is featured in this meme Cinder fall (Youtube speedpaint :D) I drew some mechanical pencil drawings including Danganronpa, Naruto and DC comics pieces, I also saw all of the film Chicken Run all the way through for the first time and drew a picture of its main protagonist.. and finally got around to painting again after breaking up from work and managed to create this canvas piece of Rin Okumura from Blue exorcist:Rin Okumura finished Overall I feel I have got into quite a few different fandoms and series this year and tried different things with pieces such as incorporating art deco style in, using paint tool sai and livestreaming though I don't feel I have improved much this year but hope to do so in the following years.. Thank you guys for supporting me, your help has meant a lot to me ^_^ <33 Happy new year to you all

#my artwork #meme #improvement meme #annual meme #artwork #ms paint #paint tool sai #paints #mechanical pencil

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cats-artbag · 8 years ago

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My tumblr has grown from 666 followers on 10 June to 838 on 30 June today. That’s almost 200 new followers in less than a month. I’ve also been on deviantArt for 8 years and now, I’m over 1,500 watchers and near 55,000 pageviews.

Holy. Wow.

I'm doing this... as a thank you. I read everyone's comments and tags even if I don't respond, maybe from shyness, anxiety, I don't know, but I'm working on that more and more everyday. It’s less apparent here but it’s pretty bad on dA, I’m well aware.

When the dA poll on what I should sing went up, I was so surprised to see the response. My hand flew to my mouth and I thought I was gonna happy cry seeing how many people bothered to vote QwQ Just... even if it was for fun, thank you. I'm gonna work on my voice a bit first though cos its only around decent and I'm gonna play around with software stuff before I do it for real. It's just for fun, and I know it probably won't be anytime soon so yeah be nice to me please :'D

But for now, like/ask away! 💖

Originally posted on dA, original image was a meme on twitter : https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBUC7ExU0AA_xSM.jpg

1. My current username zkcats has two letters from my real name. If I took all the initials it would be AKBZ x'D

2. After 21.5 years, I can finally live up to my old username (iluvcats111). My family finally owns a kitten! She's Ori, named after the game Ori and the Blind Forest.

3. I am a Malay Muslim, but I seriously prefer english to the point I'm forgetting malay and I'm honestly scared people will judge me even though I'm just like everyone else.

4.. I wanna say I'm super ambitious?... I'm the kind who would try ANYTHING if I find it interesting. Sculpting, knitting/crochetting, 3D modelling, you name it. Music stuff seems to be harder for me to get a hold of but dANG I wanna try 8'U My shyness holds me back on a lot of stuff though.

5. I am a shy introvert. A lot of times I feel like I'm EXTREMELY shy, I'll never start conversations or know how to keep them going and sometimes I hate myself for it. I get all expressive and crazy if you're a close enough friend though <'D

6. I only started drawing seriously when I was around 13, which is when I joined deviantArt! I saw compilations of Sonic fanart on Youtube which linked me here. I didn't know sharing art online was a thing, but this all made me kinda realize what I wanted to do. FANART. ART. And yes, Sonic was the reason this all started

7. My first After Effects animation was August 28, 2014. Now it's June 30, 2017, and I've done 20 Sonic Battle animations, counting Sonic and Shadow in my animations folder

8. I'd say Undertale is my favourite video game but I can't say for sure because I like lots of others but I wuss out from finishing most of them x'D so RPGs like Undertale and Pokemon are usually higher on my list. Favourite Sonic game for a long time was Sonic Battle because I could finish it haha

9. If I pretend I knew music genres it would be around Pop/Rock & Electronic, generally fast paced stuff although I can appreciate soulful stuff too ;D Love me some Regina Spektor in between dubsteps and remixes. Lots of remixes/songs based on games too

10. It's very hard for me to come up with ideas for doodles, which is why I don't post art much if I wasn't doing SwapOut and commissions ;w; Sometimes I feel like I need a purpose to draw something or I won't draw it at all. This was less intent during my earlier dive into drawing where I doodled every day for practice sake

#gettoknowme #ask #confession #fact #thankyou #zkcats111

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repeatsfate · 7 years ago

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A, K, R!!

vidya games!

K – game you’re most looking forward to?

at the moment it’s super mario odyssey and pokemon ultra sun and moon! and, uh… my inner 12 year old is rearing her ugly head to force me to admit i’m also pretty hyped for sonic forces, oops. lOOK IT LOOKS FUN, OKAY…

i’m looking forward to fe musou too but also i’m pretty neutral on it– everything they’ve revealed has been super incredible so far and i’m looking forward to maining my birb, but i’m more interested in the confirmed fe16 and i’m looking forward to hearing more about that when the time comes.

R – most underrated game?

hmmmm… while xenoblade chronicles itself would certainly fit the bill despite shulk being a giant meme now, i think i’ll take it a step further and go on to say xenoblade chronicles x deserves a bit more love than it got–

despite the very real flaws with the game and some aspects of the story, a thing that draws me to it aside from the ‘if you can see it, you can go to it’ MASSIVE open world and setting on a foreign planet was just how human its supporting cast and even minor npcs are. the game does an excellent job of portraying raw humanity in both ends of the spectrum– where there are heroes, there are people even in man’s most desperate hour that took that second chance as an excuse to be horrible, horrible people. the encounter of alien life goes as swimmingly as you expect, with the remaining fragments of humanity split on how to deal with these new beings in their midst. some choose to try and form alliances and bonds, the others shun and fear the outsiders– many quests actually revolve around the racism in what’s supposed to be a safe haven for the aliens pledging themselves to humanity’s side. the conflict taking up the last leg of the game is one born of human grief and the sting of loss– and when you really get into the motivations behind it it’s so easy to understand why the person did what they did but also acknowledge yeah no you did bad buddy you gotta pay for it now. i just???? it’s so good????

the planet and creatures that make up the game’s setting are imaginative and beautiful, i honestly love just booting it up and wandering. sometimes it’s scary as all heck because OH GOD GIANT MONSTER OUT OF NOWHERE but also… that just adds to the immersion and feeling like you’re a tiny fish in a big, big sea… and when you’re strong enough to stand up to those monsters it’s the most satisfying thing in the world.

the musical direction is honestly up to taste- i personally adore xcx’s soundtrack, but those not a huge fan of hiroyuki sawano’s works might find it lacking. here’s a personal favourite!

point is, it’s super fun, i want to do an araceli run sometime if i can ever be arsed to go back on my wii u or it gets a switch port, and a verse would be fun to play around with… i’m not a huge jrpg person, but i really really like xcx. also, fans of matthew mercer– he’s in this one, too! he plays lao huang, one of my all time favourite characters tbh

point is it is flawed, yes, but it’s also a very solid jrpg that i had fun sinking hours into and i’d totally do so again

A – favourite game of all time?

my top fave game of all time? easy! it’s the legend of zelda: wind waker!

it wins in both nostalgia points and a critical eye as i’ve gotten older– as a little kid, it was the first game i ever actually beat all by myself! the gamecube was the first home console i ever got to own– for a while i lived with my granny, who wasn’t very big on gaming if that makes sense? and then after moving back in with my mom she got me one for christmas and a friend lent me wind waker after i tried playing it at his house and repeatedly got stuck in the forsaken fortress. the excitement of finally making it past that and seeing this big, bright, beautiful world and story unfold before me has stuck with me to this day?? idk how to explain it i just. wind waker was an important game in my childhood, and i’ve played through it a loooooot– mostly i’ve noticed it was during times of stress or particular loneliness. everyone has that one game that’s been there™ for them during times of duress, and wind waker has always been mine.

okay i’m read more-ing the rest of this because i… went on for a WHILE. which is also why i answered it last oops. tl;dr there are many reasons why i love this game and it’s still my fave even now that i’m nearly 23.

as an adult, i’ve found that from a technical standpoint the game holds up really well, too– even without the hd remake on the wii u wind waker is still a very beautiful, stylistic game; a major benefit to having taken the art in a more cartoony direction is that it prevents the game from aging too much; if you were to look at the vanilla gamecube edition now, it still holds up amazingly! (meanwhile, i find that while twilight princess is still lovely, the more realistic art direction tends to date it a little. i could look at the original and just know the era it was made in, whereas if i never saw wind waker before, i would question it.)

the textures are rather blurry, sure, but that was a product of the time– hypatia on tumblr actually produced a mod with hd textures for roms of the gamecube version– check out these comparasion shots of the then-work in progress mod versus the original textures… and then here’s a few polished shots of the mod with a few extra effects dolphin/ishiiruka can provide. in short, the original wind waker is a very, very beautiful game and age has done very little to tarnish that even with the remake’s updated graphics.

but obviously graphics don’t make or break a game, though proper presentation is important– wind waker’s story also resonates with me deeply in various aspects. as an older sister, the initial quest to set out and rescue your younger sibling in danger caught my attention and held it fast; they do a very good job of making you feel attached to aryll, and the scene where she is kidnapped always tugs at my heartstrings every time i see it. watching this young boy who lived the world’s most quiet little life on a tiny island suddenly get swept up into this grand, big adventure to rescue someone dear to him and becoming an actual hero – despite having no relation to oot link whatsoever! – is the quintessential coming of age story that most people can relate to, and watching that change as the game plays out is always really sweet???

it was nice watching link’s development through his little actions: the backing away from helmaroc king when he first storms the fortress and then confident staring it down the second time and then giving it what for– aside from ganondorf himself that’s my favourite boss in the game if only because of those moments of development. link’s not just some kid from outset in over his head anymore– he’s a hero who overcame the trials of the goddesses himself in the name of protecting his baby sister, and he will not fail again. and then, after he could easily just throw in the towel and take his sister home because he accomplished what he set out to do, link goes on and sees it through to the end anyways because restoring order to the world is the right thing to do– there’s no legacy of knights looming over his head like several of his other incarnations. there’s no grand kingdom, there are only desolate little islands. there’s a princess, but… he barely knows her. hell, she didn’t even know she was a princess until that moment.

the story also touches on themes of death and the ends of eras… but also ends on a note of hope and new beginnings– clinging to the past only leads to ruin, and we must create opportunities for ourselves and the world to grow. hyrule is actually completely washed away by the end, and ganondorf goes with it– unless we assume breath of the wild is in the adult timeline, that’s it. he’s gone FOREVER in the subsequent games, with bellum and malledeus taking his place as the main villain. the kingdom link and tetra found is called new hyrule, but that’s all they share in significance– it’s their own land, just like the king said. that final scene of wind waker with the king always got to me– that message of hope is so poignant and powerful, i just. i don’t know how to put it into words, but it’s a scene i love dearly.

then there’s the music and cast of characters, and even quests and gameplay? i know the sailing could get tedious but i always liked it; it was relaxing to me just watching the virtual waves and listening to that beautiful score?? the characters are all bright and unique and fun– they’ve got their own little lives and you can impact them in so many different ways and things definitely change once you do?? like starting windfall vs windfall after you do a few sidequests or even turn on the ferris wheel and lighthouse again feel so different? it’s a neat little detail i’ve always found!!

…i really need to stop rambling about wind waker now i actually dozed off a bit typing this post, oops.

#long post;#◈▏▐ ❛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴀᴛɪsғʏ ʏᴏᴜ / ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ. ❜ ― ( latrocinari )#◈▏▐ ❛ ᴄʜɪɪ ɪs sᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ. ❜ ― ( ooc )#◈▏▐ ❛ ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ʏᴇᴛ. ❜ ― ( meme )

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gabbyzvolt25 · 8 years ago

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-Rules:pick nine characters that you relate to from any media and tag nine people.

Tagged by @reaganthebird

1) Jupiter from Planetary Moe.

I love small cute things.

Softe boi deluxe.

I’m dating a short. (I mean he isn’t canonically dating anyone short but short ppl are canonically his type??Also I swear it’s at least hinted that he feels some type of shit for Mercury like. And frankly I can relate Mercury is a qt.)

I smile when I get annoyed.

Scary deathglares.

Okay like. One of my friends told me when she first saw me she was afraid to approach me because I looked scary?? <”0D

Also I legit have his hairstyle now it isn’t debatable I can style it JUST LIKE HOW I DRAW HIS HAIR.

I say weird shit to ppl I have a crush on. (I’m also more likely to tell those people abotu my got dam sin.)

Just like how Jupiter attracts comets/asteroids/moons/etc. I attract cats?? Or rather my house does but Chester ignored some basic hoes to cross a busy street to follow me home so I mean???

A red birthmark. (His beign the Great Red Spot and mine being the one on me foot.)

Clumsy fuck who breaks shit. (And feels bad abt it.)

Scared of hurting things. (I once struggled to pick up a mouse because I didn’t want to hurt it.)

Childish ho.

What’s personal space? If I like you I’m glued to your side.

Can’t fuckign cook.

2) Sans from Undertale

I’m thin enough to make jokes about being a skeleton.

Depressed.

Smol.

I fucking love puns so much.

I love hearing people groan or say stop in response to puns.

Sarcastic af.

Lazy (but not actually lazy.)

Sleeps a lot/long af.

I used to eat ketchup sandwiches when I was like 8 and younger or smth? Gross shit tbh it was just ketchup on some bread. P close to chuggin’ ketchup if you ask me.

3) Dave Strider from Homestuck

I too had a period where I struggled with my sexuality. (Both in going ‘oh shit i’m not attracted to 1 gender (guys)’ and also a period where I went 'holy shit i can be asexual because i can feel romantic shit without wanting to fuck.’ So not quite the same as Dave but it applies.)

Self esteem? Don’t know her.

Childhood abuse. Though, Dave’s was much, much worse than mine, and most of the abuse I’ve had to deal with has been emotional/verbal.

Dick jokes.

Drawing shitposty comics.

Says fuck a lot.

Likes music from things/groups/artists that no one (in my irl setting at least) recognizes/knows.

Apple juice good slormp.

4) Karkat Vantas from Homestuck

Says fuck a lot.

Acts like I’m a badass who will fight but I’m really just a pussy.

Talks a lot of smack for someone who can’t fucking fight.

Shit self esteem.

Worried ppl will find out shit about me that would be harmful info for them to know. (People finding out I’m trans vs. Karkat’s blood colour.)

Leader of my internet squad.

Leader complex.

Shouty.

Is really creative with insults.

Blood aspect.

Gets angry easily.

5) Venus from Planetary Moe

Was a tomboy when I ID’d as female; still say fuck gender roles though.

Hates dresses.

Leader. (P sure it was said somewhere that she’s the most likely to be a good leader or something.)

Will freak out/cry if forced into a dress.

Can’t deal with bullshit.

I feel like there’s enough canon shit to imply she’s ace tbh?

Hates being touched. (By people I don’t know.)

Again. Cant fucking cook.

6) Mercury from Planetary Moe.

A smol boi.

Another soft boi deluxe.

Hates when ppl say I look girly.

Forgets people’s names when I don’t talk with them often.

Forgets people’s FACES if I don’t talk with them often.

Forgets about people I don’t interact with in general..

Is hard to be made into your close friend chummy chum who will send u p much anything about my life, but once I am in that spot I’m loyal as fuck.

Looks mean but really isn’t. (Just has resting bitch face, a little bit.)

YET ANOTHER CHARACTER I RELATE TO WHO CAN’T. FUCKING. COOK!!!

7) Tails from Sonic

Was bullied when I was younger.

Is smart.

YET ANOTHER CUTE SOFTE BOI DELUXE.

High pitched bois. ;o(

To also want to fly high so I can reach the highest of all the heavens.

This scene. (Starts at 9:12.) Especially with the hand gesture at the end like. Kill ‘em Tails.

Always willing to help others.

Tails’ colour is v close to my favourite colour like this boi is a good boi.

Mint is unproblematic fav.

Hates feeling useless and ignored.

Gets v angry if someone insults my abilities.

Supports, loves, and cares for all my friends.

My name is also a pun. (Miles Prower (miles per hour) = bcuz he’s in a game where speed is key. Gabby = I’m talkative af.)

8) Sailor Moon

Okay I haven’t watched Sailor Moon and it’s something I need to do but from what I can tell she’s a crybaby, loves video games, loves eating, and loves sleeping and tbh that’s enough for me.

9) Cream the Rabbit from Sonic

I can do a perfect Cream impression I’m p sure lmao. I kinda ran out of ideas. Idk probably also because I’m sweet and polite?

@bloodlily16 @coolsonicrules @freckleddanijesus @mandaka @pseudomiracles @snake-the-fleshboy @nori-in-the-house @juicyjyushis @vulpesradical

#z rambles #this took a while because i thoguth too damn much #i strggled when i got to the end ngl #lmao

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phantomjai · 8 years ago

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Do all of em hunty!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Partition, this town, What’d I miss, castle on the hill, Satisfied, take a break

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Either Lin Manuel Miranda, Queen Elizabeth II, or Obama..ngl

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“ ... bling the Aztec an dInca capitals. And because much of the land did not seem suitable...” (its from my history textbook)

4: What do you think about most?

Food and sleep

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“I’m Outside”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Like both? I sleep in my underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I can flare my nostrils really fast

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are hot af and I love them. Boys are cool sometimes.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

I don’t know my dude

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

In the car today

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I don’t have any strange phobias, but I have normal ones like the Ocean and shit

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

No but Mel (you) shoved a fucking raisin up my nose once

13: What’s your religion?

Don’t got one

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking to class or enjoying the sun and laying on the ground.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Both

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

I don’t have one, but I like P!ATD, One Direction, and others

17: What was the last lie you told?

That people are ugly

18: Do you believe in karma?

Yes

19: What does your URL mean?

Oh my god, okay so I do not remember what my first one was, but my bff made one and I took her name and added not in front of it

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I hide all my emotions, and I can like believe what I believe and will fight people that don’t

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Umm... Anton Yelchin was (and still is)

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Yes :(

23: How do you vent your anger?

I don’t I suffer

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Pop Figures, Mugs, Kakashi related things

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video Chatting online

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Kinda? I mean I am gayer

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I HATE THE SOUND OF WHISPERING (and I don’t know why), Fire crackling

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I can’t be a lawyer

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Yes and Yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Air, I am over my desk (but right next to my Kakashi drawing).. The wall

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothing (thank god bc usually its my roommates farts)

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

A rest stop in Nevada

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East, born and raised

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

(What is gender?) But Daveed Diggs

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Doing what you love

36: Define Art.

Being able to describe what you create

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes, but I am stupid unlucky

38: What’s the weather like right now?

It feels good for being in Florida

39: What time is it?

12:16 am

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I do drive and I have never crashed

41: What was the last book you read?

My history textbook

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Jai and Perci

44: What was the last film you saw?

La La Land and it was good

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I have a scar from my dog, I almost broke my wrist ice skating

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Overwatch

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

I like everyone

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Yes, but I don’t care what it was

50: Do you believe in magic?

sure

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

YES

52: What is your astrological sign?

Aquarius

53: Do you save money or spend it?

both

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

I helped my roommate buy chicken subs

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

haha no

57: How many relationships have you had?

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No my dude

59: Where were you yesterday?

Up at UF with Keely

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

my cherry blossom tree

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Yes and theyre mixmatched

62: What’s your favourite animal?

Red Panda

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I dont have one

64: Where is your best friend?

In her bed, in london, and one is at UF

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

enough-to-go-around, sonic-rush-hour, prussiabombastic, okayseesee, kejianmin

66: What is your heritage?

White af

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Sitting in a room with people watching One Punch Man

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Dicksucker

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

nope

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

nope

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

SAVE THE DOG

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

Yes I tell everyone, go to Europe, I would be upset that I couldnt do everything I wanted to

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Trust

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Hedwigs Theme

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

nope

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust, caring, compassion, understanding

77: How can I win your heart?

buy me taco bell

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

ehhh not really

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

I went to the college I wanted to

80: What size shoes do you wear?

9-9 1/2

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

fuck idk something man

82: What is your favourite word?

fuck

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

attack

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“will you shut the fuck up about sex”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Ummm the game of thrones opening

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Silver, black, teal,

87: What is your current desktop picture?

A picture of space

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

oh my IDK

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

if my mom asked me my sexuality

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Leave the room bc they probably smell

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

I WANNA BE SPIDERMAN

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Hanging with Jamie again

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Seeing my cat die

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

If by sleep you mean lay in the same bed with then.. idk man

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

DENMARK

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

my uncle on my moms side I think

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

YES, I went to california via car like 2 years ago and I had a stomach bug

98: Ever been on a plane?

No :(

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Do what you want to do, fight what needs to be fought dont let your dreams falter because someone said you arent strong enough

#jai answers #thanks my dude #thatonechickmel

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