#wendy is pretty nice name actually

[spyeriasecret]

and now it's time to play WOULD GRAVITY FALLS CHARACTERS RESPECT YOUR PRONOUNS (pre-weirdmageddon) (non gravity falls fans take this as a sign.)

DIPPER PINES - not sure he'd understand the concept immediately, but would catch on quick because he understands what it's like not being called something you want to be called

MABEL PINES - YES. no question about it. there's so many things i could say here. she'd correct herself for THINKING the wrong pronouns.

STANLEY PINES - understands and correctly genders you for all the wrong, crime-related reasons! bro is the king of preferred names. you say "hey i'm actually exam/ple" and he'll be like "AH. I GET IT. WINK. DO YOU ALSO WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THE COPS ARE IN TOWN" like i cant overstate this. if you say hey i want to change my identity he will pull out a stack of fake IDs and have you pick one. he's a little confused but he got the spirit!

STANFORD PINES - if you ever need a guy to not grasp a modern-day concept, call this guy! he'd do his best, but only because he wants to be nice. he does Not understand. give him a little bit of systematic exposure and he'll get it! he will take a scientific approach! but he'll get it! somebody get this man 2024ccs of woke liberalism stat

SOOS RAMIREZ - calls you dude and bro. does not call you anything but dude and bro. he knows what you are and he respects that! but let's be real honest here.

WENDY CORDUROY - incredibly supportive and super chill. if you were still in the closet, she'd do the mouth zip motion thing. you get it. she's so awesome about you

WADDLES - oink?

GIDEON GLEEFUL - yes to your face! no behind closed doors. he'd probably call you "that queer" while villain monologuing in his room . i can hear it in his voice

BUD GLEEFUL - THE gravity falls homophobic youth pastor let's be for real he'd say "it's not too late to turn to God" as a christian trans person i'm pretty sure God thinks about lgbtq+ kids and fraudulent capitalists on two separate ends of a very long line

SHERIFF BLUBS & DEPUTY DURLAND - do i even have to say it. i'm gonna say it. solid top and DEAD SERIOUS bottom. they ARE the loud and proud gravity falls lgbtq+ community. if they're transphobic i'll eat my socks.

CANDY CHIU - i know what you guys are thinking . "oh candy's so sweet of course she'd respect your pronouns!" CANDY MOTHERFUCKING CHIU WILL NOT ONLY RESPECT YOUR PRONOUNS, BUT SHE WILL GO OUT OF HER WAY TO USE THEM AT ANY POSSIBLE MOMENT. if she sees somewhere to say your pronouns, she will DO it. because she LOVES YOU. and also she'd fight anyone who gets it wrong!

GRENDA GRENDINATOR - trans. she loves you. will help candy fight anybody who gets your pronouns wrong.

FIDDLEFORD MCGUCKET - honestly this is a hard one. he could ACKNOWLEDGE! your pronouns! but other than that i'm not sure. pre-memory wipe, i think he'd feel a little weird about it, but it would become nothing to him eventually

PACIFICA NORTHWEST - "ew. what the fuck." and then suddenly she's asking you how you figured that out. For No Reason

ROBBIE VALENTINO - calls you a faggot. is it because he is homophobic? because he is one? because he hates you specifically? the world will never know

BLENDIN BLANDIN - he lives in the year 207̃012. i find it hard to believe they haven't made respecting pronouns mandatory yet.

AGENTS POWERS & TRIGGER - are the pronouns on your legal documents????? it's not funny stop laughign

TYLER CUTEBIKER - gay. his pronouns are get/it. he will respect you (in his own ways)

LAZY SUSAN - forgets you had the wrong pronouns in the first place. she respects you by default

TIME BABY - does not refer to you

BILL CIPHER - he would call you your preferred pronouns but DON'T get it twisted. he does not respect you as a living thing. it isn't bigoted (that would be ironic considering that whole sixer thing) he just doesn't. maybe he'd make HEAVY fun of you for good measure but he's got to dig at somebody somehow. also were pronouns even real in his dimension anything could happen man ????

SHMEBULOCK - shmebulock

(did i forget anybody? let me know)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the Asshole for ruining a person's life?

©️©️©️©️©️©️ to find later.

This is an old story from when I was in high school. I was a quiet nerdy kid, but I was well liked. No one messed with me and I was on good terms with most of the popular kids. I just tended to like to read and learn. I did academic decathlon, I spent my breaks in the library, I was in the top of the class etc.

My junior year of high school, there were these two sisters that moved into the school. They weren’t twins, but they were in the same grade. The Older (We'll call her Lina) was held back one year. We'll call the younger one Wendy. Lina and Wendy were both painfully awkward little nerds, so we tended to be in the same circles. We were in the same classes and they also joined the Academic Decathlon. I spent a lotttttt of time around them.

Lina was a cunt.

Seriously an absolute cunt. She went out of her way to absolutely DESTROY any confidence Wendy had. Wendy was SO SMART. Way smarter than me. And Wendy didn't have a mean bone in her body. A very kind person. But Lina felt the need to point out EVERY small mistake or blamed everything that went wrong on Wendy. I once saw Lina SLAP Wendy and then demand Wendy apologize for it. Lina called her names, belittled her, etc. And it pissed me off.

It pissed me off even more when I met their Mom and it was SO OBVIOUS that their Mom favored Lina. She even said that "Lina is definitely the prettier one. She could be a model" when Wendy was RIGHT THERE. It pissed me off SO MUCH.

So, I might have reacted in a way that could be an asshole move.

Like I said, I was a quiet nerdy kid. But I was also pretty well liked and I used that to my advantage.

I became a little whisper in people's ears. I spent an ENORMOUS amount of time and effort turning everyone against Lina. I spread rumors that were just baaarely exaggerating the truth. I encouraged people to shit talk Lina and talk kindly about Wendy. I basically changed Wendy's reputation into a glowing saint in the eyes of the school (not difficult, Wendy was great) and I turned Lina's reputation into garbage. Like, actual garbage.

It got to the point where Lina had no friends. No one DARED to risk being seen with her. Everyone loved to shit talk her. She couldn't keep a secret for anything. If she tried to confide in someone, the news would come out immediately. No one was on her side. I even had her boyfriend spilling embarrassing intimate secrets. He kept dating her just so he could make fun of her.

Well, she did have one friend. Lina had me. I was such a kind and faithful friend, who would NEVER gossip about her or be mean. She could tell me anything.

She even drew this REALLY pretty portrait of me. Just a pencil drawing on sketchbook paper. Whatever else Lina was, she was a good artist. It looked just like me.

I still have it, btw, it really good piece of art.

(I didn't have to worry about it staining my reputation, I was already known as being too kind for my own good. It's really not that hard to get a nice girl reputation.)

Anyways, I have been told that this was an asshole move when I tell this story. I don't think it was and I don't regret it, but other people seem to think it was excessive. When I think back to how much more CONFIDENT Wendy was by the time we graduated, and how she went on to an Ivy League college, I'm glad I ruined her sister's social life. Lina was so stressed out that she couldn't even TRY to harrass Wendy. And if she HAD tried, Lina would have had the student body at her throat. I didn't just ruin Lina, I also helped Wendy gain her footing in a new school.

Anyways, WAS I the asshole for ruining her? Or were my actions just?

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (XX)

Chapter 20 : My heart has made its mind up and I’m afraid it’s you

Hi! Here is a new chapter! Valentine’s day is here… wondering how Andrew is going to cope with it, huh?

I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 2477

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Valentine

My heart has made its mind up And I’m afraid it’s you. Whatever you’ve got lined up, My heart has made its mind up And if you can’t be signed up This year, next year will do. My heart has made its mind up And I’m afraid it’s you.

Wendy Cope

Andrew had a date tonight.

He hadn’t been on a first date since Sam, obviously, he felt rusty and nervous. He didn’t even know the woman, Alex had set up the date. Christina, that was her name. A year younger than him, working as a nurse at St James’s Hospital. Alex had showed him a picture, she was pretty. Apparently, she was nice and a lot of fun. Why not give her a chance?

Andrew was desperate at that point. Desperate to see if he could ever move on from Sam, desperate to prove himself that he didn’t have a crush on you. That this was nothing serious, just his heart longing for companionship when he felt so lonely these days. Besides, it was Valentine’s Day, he was so painfully lonely, he needed to focus on something else than his love life in shambles. He needed to try to move on. And if he did, he needed to do so with a woman who wasn’t you.

So, he had accepted Alex’s offer, had booked a table at a nice restaurant, had tried to look his best for tonight. Elwood was staying with Jon for the evening, he didn’t have to worry about going home late.

And now, there he was, running five minutes late as he walked inside the restaurant, but for his standard, he called that a win. Five minutes… who would care for five minutes?

Apparently, Christina would.

He had a shy but polite smile on his face when he spotted her across the room. He was polite as he took a seat. Meanwhile, she gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“Was there any traffic tonight?” she asked, and Andrew knew at once what she was talking about.

“Erm… it just… took me longer than I thought it would to drop my dog off at my brother’s. Sorry about that. I hope you didn’t wait for too long.”

“No, it’s okay,” she admitted, and she seemed to relax knowing the reason for his short delay. “It’s a nice place you’ve chosen, by the way.”

“Yeah? Glad you like it. Should we take a look at the menu, then?”

They quickly ordered their food, and then began the usual dance of questions that came with trying to learn the most basic things about a person while they waited for their meal.

“So… Alex told me you’re a professor? At Trinity?”

“I am,” Andrew nodded, before drinking a gulp of water. “Assistant professor, actually.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Erm… the paycheck, definitely,” Andrew joked, making Christina smile. “It’s a different rank at University… extremely hierarchical organisation. I don’t have a chair. I give classes, I do research, but I don’t have the same prestige and don’t own a chair for my work.”

“Right…”

“Which is normal, I’m not complaining. Chairs are rare, I’ll probably have to wait another decade to get the rank of professor.”

She didn’t seem reassured by that, Andrew wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“For how long have you been working at Saint James?” Andrew asked back.

“A couple of years.”

“Do you like it there?”

“Yeah… I guess,” she shrugged, and Andrew waited for her to say more about the matter, but she didn’t.

“And so… what do you teach at Trinity?” she asked after a short silence.

“Erm… English. Contemporary poetry, mainly, but I cover a lot of modernism as well through novels.”

She blinked a couple of times.

“Right… so… you like books.”

He gave her an amused smile.

“You can say that.”

“The last book I’ve read was a mandatory reading in high school,” she admitted.

“The last time I cleaned up a wound without feeling sick was… never. So, I guess we’re even,” Andrew offered with a smile, and Christina nodded.

And it was alright, of course. People had many interests. And his partner didn’t have to be interested in the same things as he did. Sam was the perfect example of that. Still… he didn’t really know what to talk about next.

They spent the next few minutes making chit chat, but it was laborious at best. Andrew used a moment of silence in the conversation to take a look around. The restaurant was obviously busy on Valentine’s Day. The decoration was simple but aesthetically pleasing; candles and white or red roses added to each table to enhance the theme of the evening. There were only couples around.

Only couples…

“Andy?”

He turned around, recognising the voice in an instant.

He couldn’t help it, his face fell for a second, before he could summon the strength to hide his reaction.

The universe itself was set against him at this point…

He got up, forced a smile to greet Sam and Frank.

“It’s so funny finding you here!”

“Yeah… wasn’t expecting to see you!” he forced a smile.

Frank noticed Christina then.

“Oh, honey, we’re disturbing Andrew, I think. Sorry, about that,” he was genuine in his apology as he warmly smiled at Christina.

Sam flinched, but quickly smiled as well.

“Oh, sorry! Have a nice evening you two!”

They moved away quickly, reaching their own table. Just a couple of tables away. Right where Andrew could see them whenever he looked up from his plate.

Nice… grand…

“Erm… what are your hobbies?” he asked out of the blue, trying to get the conversation going again, if only to distract himself from Frank and Sam holding hands across their table.

“Oh… not much. I don’t really have the time for those… I like running.”

“Nice!”

“Do you like jogging?”

“Erm… not that much. But I love swimming.”

“I can’t swim.”

“Right… do you like the sea anyway? Like… the beach? Running on the beach, maybe?”

“Not really, no. I’m not very interested in the sea. It’s a little scary.”

“Oh, okay.”

Andrew focused on his meal, but with every painful question asked and answered, it was more and more obvious that they had nothing in common.

A couple of tables away, Frank and Sam were sharing food, a habit Andrew knew Sam hated. They were holding hands, and giggling, and looking so disgustingly in love, while he was on his own, while he wanted that intimacy back, while he thought of you…

Andrew wasn’t sure at which point of the evening you had popped into his mind, but you were all he could think of, right now. He had mentioned that he was going on a date, but you had not given him any details concerning your plans for the evening. You would call your friend Siobhán, you had mentioned some ice cream… were you reading? Watching crappy tv or a good movie? Had you changed your plans? Were you on a date as well?

Andrew couldn’t refrain the bitter taste of jealousy as he thought of you with someone else… as he imagined you in his shoes, at a nice restaurant, meeting with a stranger, and perhaps you would let him hold your hand across the table and would kiss him at the end of the evening, and even spend the night with him…

A wave of nausea made it impossible for him to finish his plate as he thought of you in another man’s bed.

The couple dining at the table right next to Andrew’s started raising their voices. Not enough to draw attention from the entire restaurant, but enough for Andrew and Christina to overhear everything. An argument was brewing. Jealousy and an unhealthy relationship at its peak.

In a matter of five minutes, the two were almost shouting at each other. Andrew and Christina exchanged an embarrassed look while the guy complained about how often they had sex.

And Sam was still there, every time he looked up. And you were all he could think of. And Christina was nice, sure, but they were absolutely incompatible on every level.

And then the last straw came.

“Are you religious?” she asked, and Andrew shook his head.

“No, not really, no.”

“Oh…”

“What about you?”

“Yes, very.”

“Oh…”

“Is that… like… are you just not going to church, or…”

“I… I don’t know. I’m an agnostic, I would say.”

“A what?”

“Agnostic. I don’t know if there’s a God up there or not. I’m… neutral, I guess you could say it like that. But I wouldn’t go to church even if I did believe in God.”

“Really? Why not?”

“I’m wary of any institution run by men that uses its power to dictate how people should behave, including in the most private parts of their lives.”

She blinked, struggling with this new information.

“So… you would never practice religion…”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Right… Cause it’s a very important part of my life.”

“And I respect that.”

“But you would not start believing.”

“Why would I?”

“For me?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Would you think it was okay if I asked you to give up on your faith to be in a relationship with me?”

“Of course not!”

“Then… how can you ask? We can have different beliefs…”

“But you’re wrong.”

“I can’t be wrong, Christina. It’s faith. And it’s the definition of faith to believe without proof. You can’t say I’m wrong, and I can’t say you are. We just have different faiths.”

She nodded, but had stopped eating.

Next to them the angry couple raised their voices again.

“Can I be brutally honest?” she asked, her voice softer now.

Andrew merely nodded.

“You’re clearly a really nice lad, Andy. And I’m not going to deny that Alex was right when he said that you’re definitely my type. But… it looks like we… don’t match.”

Andrew gave her a kind smile.

“I agree,” he nodded. “I don’t think our lives are very compatible.”

“Not really no.”

“You’re good craic though. And you’re… gorgeous, to be honest.”

“Thanks.”

“I don’t think we’d be able to find common things to build a relationship on, though.”

“Me neither. Would you mind if we called it a night?”

“No… no, I don’t mind, I understand.”

“Thanks.”

They paid for their food, left the restaurant while the couple bickered and Frank and Sam were still in love. Andrew waited for Christina to get safely in an uber, before he would walk to his own car.

He heaved a sigh, tried not to cry.

Everywhere he went, Sam’s ghost followed.

Whatever he did, you were always on his mind.

Were you home safe and sound? What were you doing? Was there a man with you?

He reached for his phone, his car still silent in the carpark. He touched your name on his screen, and you answered after three rings.

“Andy?”

“Hi, Y/N! You’re alright ?”

“Sure! Just… about to watch some adorable romcom to remind myself of unattainable standards concerning men and relationships, will most certainly have a good cry over the fact that the man I wanted to marry is probably getting amazing sex with his new fiancée, and I will definitely eat my weight in ice cream. You? How was your date? It’s early still… did everything go well?”

“Argh… don’t mention it. Everything about it was awful.”

He described his evening, and you listened, commented, interjected every now and then.

“You deserve to eat your weight in ice cream too,” you stated.

“I think I do, yeah… although… I think I’ll just go to bed once I’m home.”

“Are you driving?”

“No, no… don’t worry. I just… I felt bad. So, I called you before leaving the parking lot in front of the restaurant. I can see all those disgustingly happy couples walk out of there hand in hand…”

“Outrageous. Don’t they know we’re mourning?!”

“No decency. And God, I hate Valentine’s Day…”

“Me too… I feel… so empty today. Frank and I used to always go to the cinema on Valentine’s Day. He always stole all my popcorn. I found that adorable.”

He heard you sniffing, his heart broke at the sound. He wished he could have been there, hold you tight until the tears would subside, until he could make you smile again.

“What would you have done with Sam?” you asked, your voice hoarse with sorrow.

Andrew shrugged, stared at the night sky, made utterly black by the clouds.

“A restaurant, probably. Flowers. Nothing too fancy, but it would have been nice.”

He struggled to swallow, his throat tightening.

“Frank and Sam were sharing their food.”

“Hmm? Yeah, Frank does that sometimes.”

“Sam hates it. She hates it. She never wanted me to touch her food. Why does she let him do that, then?”

A short silence, your answer in a whisper.

“To make him happy.”

Andrew pondered on your words. You were right, obviously. When he spoke again, his voice was low and soft, barely above a whisper.

“I really wish I didn’t have to do that again to be loved.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend. Change. Stop… being myself sometimes.”

You were quiet, but you were still there. He knew it. He could hear you breathing in the phone. And beyond that reassuring sound, he just knew you were listening. He was never sure with Sam.

“I’d really like that too,” you whispered, and he hummed in response.

A happy couple came out of the restaurant then. Andrew watched them reach their car, laughing, holding hands. He felt so fucking lonely… So utterly alone in this world. No one knew him like that anymore…

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you promise me something?”

“What is it?”

“Promise me you… promise me you’ll never change for me. Promise me you won’t pretend. I want you to…”

He cleared his throat, brushing the tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes.

“I want you to be yourself when I’m around. Can you do that?”

He heard you sniffing again. You were quiet for a moment, but Andrew knew you were nodding, he could hear the quiet hum that went with it.

“Andy?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. Thank you, Andy.”

You sniffed, struggled through a few words, but Andrew was patient, he was drying his cheeks on his sleeves anyway.

“I don’t want you to pretend either when you’re with me, you know?”

“I know.”

He was lying. He didn’t know. He didn’t know at all. He didn’t know how to be loved, except by not quite being himself.

You both remained silent for a while, but it was still reassuring to know that you were there, on the other end of the line. Andrew should have hung up then. He should have let you watch your cheesy movie, and eat your ice cream. Instead, he spoke again.

“I’ve finished Dante, by the way.”

He spent the next forty-five minutes talking about Inferno with you. And after the call had ended, and he was finally driving home, it was harder than ever to deny that he wanted you.

[hmslusitania]

Either 16 or 21 or both or neither

There was no specified ship, so it ended up being kind of pre-relationship TimKon

The party had been a questionable choice, Tim can admit that now. Nothing says “I’m so totally over a relationship, see how fine I’m doing!” like throwing a Halloween party, drinking a little too much at the sight of his ex-girlfriend making out with her new girlfriend who is, for most purposes, Tim’s sister, and then retreating to the bathroom because his more recent ex-boyfriend had actually taken him up on the invitation and brought a plus one.

Which is why he’s hiding in the bathtub in his own bathroom, not totally shielded from view by the novelty map of Faerûn shower curtain Steph had helped him pick out. At least it matches the elf ears that had seemed like a good idea six hours ago, and at least the porcelain he’s resting his face against is cooling and pleasant.

His relative peace — generally not helped by the thumping of the bass from the stereo in the party beyond his room — is interrupted an unknowable amount of time later by the bathroom door opening without a knock, and then he’s in the company of…

“What are you supposed to be?” Tim asks without lifting his head from the side of the tub.

Kon looks down at his “costume” which includes fingerless gloves, a denim jacket, and a black and red buffalo check shirt.

“Breakfast Club?” Kon prompts.

Tim blinks at him.

“Come on, we watched it for YJ movie night like last month,” Kon reminds him.

“I wasn’t there,” Tim says, miserable, and sags a little farther into the comforting embrace of the side of the tub.

“We were gonna do a whole group thing, right, except we decided you’d for sure have to be Ally Sheedy, not Emilio Estevez or Anthony Michael Hall,” Kon continues, unphased by Tim’s demeanour. “But then Cissie wanted to dress up like Wendy instead, and I’m pretty sure Cassie’s dressed up like me, which is kinda a head trip. And Bart had some whole situation where he can’t make our party because he got roped into babysitting Jai and Irey while they go trick-or-treating, because as screwy as my family might be, only when you’re a member of the West-Allen family do you really get to go babysit your, uh…”

“Second cousins,” Tim supplies.

“Huh, I definitely thought that was gonna be a weirder chain of relationship,” Kon says.

He sits on the bathmat next to Tim’s head and pokes him in the side of the face.

“Stop,” Tim says.

“So is there a particular reason you’re hiding from your own party in your bathroom?” Kon asks.

“I’m bitterly single?” Tim replies.

Kon considers him. “So, I get why you invited Steph, because she’s still for sure one of your best friends, and I’m pretty sure you’re, like, contractually obliged to invite Cass to events, and they’re a matched set. But like… your civilian ex-boyfriend who likes to conspiracy theory about the majority of the rest of your guests?”

Tim groans and shuts his eyes, only to have Kon pry one of them open and stare at him up close.

“I wanted to prove I was, like, mature and evolved and so totally over it,” Tim says, and feels stupid even saying it.

“Which is why you’re drunk in your bathtub, sure, yeah, I get that,” Kon says, and smiles when Tim rolls his eyes.

“You don’t have to be in here being nice to me, you can just like… enjoy the party,” Tim says.

“The party where my ex-girlfriend is dressed up in my clothes and making out with our other very good friend who’s dressed up like my all time fictional crush? That party?” Kon asks, and Tim snorts.

“Do you ever think about the fact you dated two girls named Cassandra and both of them turned out to be gay?” Tim asks.

“With really similar taste in women, also,” Kon adds. “And, like, yeah, every once in a while.”

Tim hums and closes his eyes again, but this time, Kon doesn’t pry his eyes open.

“I know you’re mad at me,” Tim mumbles finally. “You didn’t have to come.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Kon says, and this time the physical botherment he inflicts is tweaking the elf ear Tim had spent a stupid amount of time gluing on. “I was questioning your judgement, which is so not the same thing.”

“Judgement I definitely didn’t improve by throwing this party, right?” Tim guesses. Kon makes a noncommittal noise.

“Like I get that you have a thing for blonds with a penchant for getting into trouble, but…” Kon says.

“Not just blonds,” Tim mumbles before he can think better of it. He blinks when he realises what he’s said and finds Kon staring at him curiously. “I’m really fine, Kon, you can go enjoy the party.”

“Nah,” Kon says, and before Tim can move to stop him, he clambers over the side of the tub to squish into the narrow space between Tim and the shower wall, his combat boots which have a certain authenticity that say they might have been Pa Kent’s from the ’60s clunking against the basin. Kon wriggles his shoulders trying to get comfortable for a second, and then gives up and wraps his arm around Tim. It’s just for the better use of space, Tim’s sure, but it’s… it’s really nice. And when Kon tugs him sideways until Tim rolls over so he’s resting the side of his face on Kon’s chest rather than on the side of the tub, it’s so damn pleasant he can barely stand it. “I’d much, much rather be in here with you.”

It makes Tim’s heart flutter in his chest and he knows Kon can hear that, which is just embarrassing, and which he can only sort of blame on the alcohol.

“Yeah, okay, Bender,” he says, trying desperately to hit annoyed.

Kon gives him a full belly laugh that echoes off the bathroom tile, and squeezes him just a little closer. “I knew you’d seen the Breakfast Club before.”

Tim rolls his eyes and smacks Kon in the stomach with a light, open palm. It gets him another laugh, and maybe, just maybe, this party hadn’t been the worst idea after all.

[lkfarrout]

HR (Stan x fem!Reader)

Summary: you decide to give your boss a little scare

Warnings: playful flirting, nothing overtly sexual

"Did you see what Stan was wearing yesterday? That open collar..."

"Ew! He's like my grandpa. Why would you even say that?" Wendy made a fake gagging sound. You enjoyed having her as a coworker, despite sometimes forgetting she was nearly ten years younger than you.

You'd started working at the Mystery Shack in the spring, while Wendy was still in school, and when summer began, you were grateful to finally have someone to talk to when things were slow in the giftshop. Her and Dipper even invited you onto the roof occasionally. It was nice to have someone to confide in about your crush, too, even if she pretended it was super gross.

"Why don't you ask him out already? He'll say yes, I mean he stares at you constantly." She was right - the world's darkest pair of sunglasses couldn't hide Stan's obvious gaze over your figure as you stocked the shelves every day. Not to mention calling you "doll" any chance he got. But until now, you'd pretended to be blissfully unaware, biding your time patietly.

"Oh, I will," you assurred Wendy, "but I'm gonna give him hell first. I got a plan, just wait."

---

"Yeah, and when you're done with that, there's a leak in the roof you can look at." Stan's gruff voice rang out through the gift shop as he and Soos entered.

"On it, boss," Soos saluted Stan before approaching the checkout desk, "What's up dudes?"

"Hey Soos," you pretended not to notice Stan behind him, "do you know who's in charge of HR here? Is it you?" You felt a little bad roping the ever-innocent Soos into your mischief, but the suddenly panicked look on Stan's face was worth it.

Soos began to repond, "Gee, I guess I've been here the longest, so--"

Stan cut him off, nudging Soos to the side and placing his palms on the counter. He leaned close and said, "You're lookin' at HR." He squinted his eyes suspiciously, "Why d'ya ask?"

"Oh its nothing, just" you put on your best poker face and shrugged, "maybe I need to report some inappropriate behavior."

Wendy hid her face in her comic book to stop herself from laughing, but poor Soos looked very concerned. You prayed Wendy had the heart to explain the ruse to him once you and Stan were out of the room. At your words, Stan just sighed and gestered toward his office.

Once inside, he removed his fez, sat on the edge of the desk, and rubbed the bridge of his nose under his glasses, "Look, doll, I'll be straight with you. You do good work, but Wendy 'n Soos have been here a whole lot longer and I have a hard time believing either of them would--"

"My issue isn't with them." You crossed your arms and he raised an eyebrow at you as you continued, "I should slap you, the way you gawk at me all day. And all those pet names? You must think I'm stupid."

Stan didn't look as shocked as you'd hoped. Instead he chuckled with the corner of his mouth and got to his feet.

"Wouldn't be the first time." He said. His arms hung at his sides. He closed his eyes and turned his head. His shoulders and neck tensed and he braced for the impact.

Suddenly your palms were sweaty, you hadn't expected this. Was he actually going to let you slap him?

After a moment, he partially opened one eye, "Well, get it over with already."

"Mr. Pines... I'm not gonna slap you."

His body relaxed and he shrugged, "I 'preciate that, but I'm pretty sure I deserve it this time."

You smirked at him, "I won't slap you, but only because I'm afraid you'd like it."

Stan chuckled a bit, but you could tell you'd flustered him. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the floor.

"Look doll--" he coughed, catching himself, "look, I'm sorry if I made ya uncomfortable, I promise I'll stop. But, if you could just keep this between us..."

"An apology isn't good enough. I'd hate to see your good reputation ruined, Mr. Pines."

Stan sighed and headed for the chair behind his desk. As he sat down he muttered, "Figured. You always were a fiesty one." He started rummaging through a drawer in the desk.

"Alright, what do ya want, a raise?" He pulled out the paperwork he was looking for and slid it towards you. You just shook your head at him.

Defeated, he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"Okay, this aint the first time I've been blackmailed. What'll buy your silence?"

At this point you couldn't hide your smile. You approached the desk and leaned over, your low-cut top perfectly showing off your cleavage in front of him. His eyes darted to the corner of the ceiling and he swallowed.

"Stan," it was the first time you'd ever used his first name in front of him, "we both know what I really want isn't silence."

He stole a few quick glances at you before studying the ceiling again. "What's your point?"

"I want you to take me out to dinner."

He did a touble-take and sat straight up in his chair, "Come again?"

"I like the attention, Stan," you laughed at him, "but I wasn't gonna give you what you wanted without a good scare first." You shot him a wink across the desk.

Stan's cheeks flooded pink, he was speechless.

You prodded him, "Well, did I? Scare you?"

Stan dramatically clutched his chest, "Ya nearly put me in an early grave, doll."

He stood and moved back to your side of the desk with a chuckle. "Was Wendy in on this?"

"Oh, of course."

With one arm, Stan grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into him, looking deeply into your eyes, "You make a pretty good con, y'know." His free hand found its way to your jaw and he pulled you into an energetic kiss that lasted several wonderful seconds.

As he pulled away, you flashed him a devilish smile, "I learned from the best."

I'm not the most proud of this fic, quality-wise, but it's been sitting finished in my drafts so I might as well post it. I will say this is not very ethical but it's just meant to be a fun story, don't take it too seriously

[strawberryshortcake1495]

The weird GF dream I had

So in this dream I was this Russian girl named Ashlyn who kinda looked like Wendy but my hair was more orange and in this giant ponytail. Anyways, Dipper and Mabel discovered that the closet in the Mystery Shack was a portal to MY school. Which was weird, but Mabel thought it was pretty cool. She’d often hop on over and was super nice to me.

So one day, the twins were messing around and accidentally summoned this white spider-looking creature. Idk why, but it was super horrifying. I was all the way in Russia, ditching class when the creature burst out of the portal and chased after me. It was genuinely so terrifying. But I opened the door to my classroom and hid behind it as the creature mauled my poor teacher. Once it was busy killing everyone, I literally ran for my life to the portal. I was so exhausted, but I made it to the Mystery Shack anyways.

I guess I just started living there, for some reason?? My ponytail turned into two long braids and I’d often just be hanging out with the twins without a care in the world. Like, wtf happened to my parents??? Also, it was implied that one of the twins had feelings for me. Wendy thought it was Dipper because I looked similar to her, but it was actually Mabel. So yeah, that’s it. What an adventure.

[weridpersonhelp]

CASABONITA PT1

Description: Kyle invites Y/n to Casa Bonita, and muck around.

warning; Swearing, fluffy. cartman being cartman. not been proof read

_______________

"Hey Y/n."

"Oh, hey Kyle! how are you doing?" Y/n asks him, somehow Y/n always manages to make Kyle smile.

"Pretty good actually, I aced my math test and cartman hasn't made and well I have awesome news!" Y/n chuckles a little at him, her smile made his smile. bigger.

"Nice job, mine's tomorrow. what's this awesome news?" She starts walking Kyle follows her lead.

"Well, my birthday this weekend on Saturday and my mum said I could take 4 friends to Casa Bonita! and well... I wanted to invite you! that is if you want too." Y/n gasps slightly she stops in the middle of walking.

"REALLY! THATS SO COOL!"

"Wait so you'll come?!" Y/n hugs Kyle happily he was a bit taken back he felt Awkard and didn't want people to see, but he still enjoyed it.

"Yes of course I'm going! is there anything you want for your birthday then?" she asks pully away from him, he missed her warmth already.

"What? Oh, you don't need to get me anything!" Y/n rolls her eyes at the boy playfully.

"Okay, okay I won't get anything. but what have you been interested in lately?" Now it was Kyles turn to playfully roll his eyes at the girl they both chuckle.

"Wait who else is coming."

"Oh, stan, Kenny and butters this Saturday at 5:30"

"No cartman? she asks.

" What no, why would I invite that asshole?" he raises his voice at even the thought of it. she chuckles at the boy's anger calming him down instantly as she pats his back.

"Good, I was worried for a moment you'd let that guy come on your special day." the two continued to talk as they entered the dining hall and walked up to chef.

"Hey Kyle oh I see you made a new friend here."

"Oh yes this is Y/n " Kyle says.

"Hi chef it's nice it be properly introduced."

"Nice to meet you too Y/n now what can I get you love birds- I mean friends." Chefs give Kyle a wink.

"Chicken nuggets with fries please!"

"Chicken nuggets with fries please!" the two say at the same time.

"Jinx! now you can't talk till I say your name three times!"

"Haha, she got you there! Kyle, anyway here's your food ids. Rember to let him go of that jinx before his birthday now Y/n." Chef says they both leave, but Kyle was playfully glaring at her slightly.

"What? do you want me to say your name?" the boy nods furiously almost flipping his hat off.

"Oh, hey guys, what's up?" stan asks them.

"Hey stan, nothing much." Kyle stays quiet and stand rises an eyebrow.

"what's up with Kyle?"

"Oh Kyle? well Kyle here just got jinx and I need to say his name three times until he is unjinxed or he gets bad luck." at this Cartman laughs at Kyle.

"s-" "you can't talk dude unless you want bad luck," stan says Kyle gives the girl a glare and she rolls her. eyes.

"Fine as your birthday present, I'll unjinx you Kyle-" "SHUT YOUR MOUTH FATASS!" Kyle shouts at cartman.

"Y/n come on already, bebe showing us her new nails!" Wendy pop in out of no were.

"oh, hi stan!"

"Hi Wendy."

"Okay, okay, I'll talk to guys later. bye!"

"Bye Y/n!" Kyle says waving the girl goodbye.

"Dude you're so red-" "oooh KYLE BLUSHING!"

"SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU!"

______________________________________

yall want part 2? where they acutally go? or

[boasamishipper]

notes from the nnc s3e1 taping

so back in july hannah @bornforastorm and i went to the taping of the new night court season 3 premiere!!! to the best of my memory, here's what went down:

[spoilers below the cut]

pre show:

taping was on stage 10 of the warner bros lot

hannah and i got there early (as instructed) and were pretty much the only ones in attendance who had actually seen og night court (majority of ppl knew melissa rauch from big bang theory)

which is also wild to me by the way?? why would you go to a taping of a show you have never watched??

anyway

we chatted with a very nice belgian lady and a nice australian couple who had been traveling across the country for the last few months (they gave us mini kangaroo pins)

we were not allowed to have our phones on us (alas) or i would have taken a million pictures

new night court set looks a lot more grimy in person?? which i was surprised by because on tv the show looks so much cleaner than the original did. guess that's due to lighting and whatever goes down in postproduction

hannah and i were one of the first ones in line to go into the studio (we all but shoved our way to the front) and got to sit in the second row

they had a magician named mark sweet who warmed the crowd up with very delightful magic tricks (iirc he was also the opening act for tbbt tapings which is how he got this gig)

from where hannah and i were sitting we had a great view of the courtroom set. abby's chambers set and the cafeteria set and the hospital set were more difficult to see

they played a Here's What Happened So Far On Night Court recap for us to which hannah and i were like [ron swanson voice] we know more than you

when larroquette came out for the curtain call opening my vision whited out and i screamed like a maniac

larroquette was very tall and waved cutely and did a peace sign and applauded for melissa and no one else

hannah and i were more insane about that old man than anyone in the whole studio audience

abby's dream sequence scene + julianne's arrival scene:

abby's dream sequence was filmed a previous day; we watched that on tv (it already had the laugh track added)

on the first take of this scene when julianne showed up larroquette did a classic Dan Fielding Yelp and Jumped and hid behind flobert and it was magical to see

this would continue for the rest of the night but on every single take larroquette did something different and it was equally hilarious every time. that man knows how to read a crowd

they told us straight up not to applaud when wendie malick came in as not to distract the actors (or something?? can't remember the reason but i knew she was going to be there so i was not surprised)

gurgslivia canon confirmed (gurgs changed clothes in front of her)

flobert in a wig boston legal reference!!!

when talking about the new prosecutor larroquette did a take where he made an explicit reference to the OG night court pilot (alas i did not write down what it was)

larroquette had to bend down so the makeup people could touch his face up and spritz his hair

larroquette does this little shimmy every time before he gets into character as dan and it's great

great is not a strong enough word actually. seeing him transform into dan fielding before my very eyes was a spiritual experience. i heard colors and smelled sounds.

actors who flubbed the most lines: wendie malick

actors having the most fun with different line readings: larroquette and lacretta and also gary anthony williams

abby's chambers scene:

alternate dan lines: ‘Juicy little mouse’ ‘Juicy little spring lamb’

alternate dan lines: ‘crocheting a shank’ with hand gesture

fantastic line reading: ‘macrame net’

alternate dan lines: ‘chicken feet’ ‘cat brains’ ‘wrestling alligators’ (then that again but in a more southern accent so it was like 'wrasslin gators')

the cheeto bag julianne was holding exploded on the first take but larroquette went with it like a pro

larroquette did extremely hilarious line readings of That’s A Lie every single time

again wendie malick flubbed a lot of lines but she was a champ and got through it

melissa rauch had a lot of fun with the physical comedy in this scene

hospital scene:

julia duffy had soooo much fun slapping melissa rauch

hannah and i SCREAMED when julia duffy implied harry was the father (which i predicted IN MARCH AHAHAHA)

literally i was CLUTCHING hannah's hand. we were losing it

the nice australian couple behind us: .......glad you two are......having fun

melissa rauch once again had fun with the physical comedy

final courtroom scene:

took the longest to film

solid line reading of ‘a scarf with metaphorical strings attached’

some lines were not working during this scene so the writers rewrote them on the spot (and they did not notice my attempt to subliminally get them to hire me for the writers room)

lacretta and nyambi had so much fun during the julianne 'reveal'

when gary anthony williams was dumping the flobert pics out of the bag on one take they got stuck and wouldn't come out and his reaction was very funny

misc:

taping was about four hours long and we were given pizza around the midpoint

saw larroquette chatting with wendie during the breaks very cutely

larroquette swore ‘god damn it’ when he flubbed a line (very rare, he was the best of everyone)

larroquette didn't mix much with the cast other than wendie and melissa

larroquette has a book that he carries his scripts in and it looks leather bound and has a ribbon he uses to mark pages (possibly he has this for every script??)

when larroquette reads dan’s lines while he's rehearsing, he reads them with dan’s scrunched up facial expressions and does dan’s mannerisms (dannerisms??)

phill lewis (director of the ep) came up to the audience at one point and asked if there were any fans of suite life and did the ‘no running in my lobby!!!’ line in moseby’s voice and i shrieked about it

melissa rauch also came up to the audience and said hello and she was very charming

ren bell dialogue coach is hot as fuck

dan rubin was apparently there but we couldn’t see him

larroquette left immediately after curtain call (he does his job gets that paycheck and goes home god bless)

larroquette looked sooooo good in that suit

they filmed some scenes the day before our taping (dream sequence + cafeteria scene) and added a laugh track to them?? but then played them for us so our laughs would be dubbed over the laugh track?? no clue how that works

from what we saw the writers seem to be all relatively young, 20s and 30s (we gotta get more older writers in there for john’s sake)

the best non larroquette actors are easily lacretta and gary anthony williams (who is so funny and needs to be a series regular asap)

wendie malick flubbed a lot of her lines but she is apparently new to filming in front of an audience and she seemed very charming and funny; there were vips in the audience who were friends of hers and she came up and said hi to them

speaking of vips the perks they get include getting to keep their phones on them, being more likely to win prizes from the opening act magician (more on that below), and getting to hang with the actors after the show

melissa rauch impressed me, i think she is really settling into this role and i am excited to see what she does with abby this season

after they had to stop a take bc someone flubbed a line larroquette said something bitchy-funny (‘this is what happens when you-‘) but we couldn’t hear the rest of it

larroquette was doing all the physical comedy his 76 year old self was willing to do and he was amazing

overall seems to be a tight crew and cast god bless

in between takes mark sweet the magician would entertain us and also offered us the chance to win night court merch in exchange for us doing silly things. and at one point mark sweet was giving away signed copies of the script to anyone who had a special talent. so i came up and he had someone from the front row be my assistant. so i said to my assistant okay close your eyes. now reach your left hand out and grab the folder with the scripts out of mark sweet's hand.

i was shameless and got what i wanted :)

anyway overall incredible experience. i came out of there beaming like the joker and with enough energy to pick up a car and throw it five hundred yards. were it not for the laws of this land (aka me living in wisconsin) i would go to tapings every single week.

[0pawprint0]

All the autographs I got! The only person on my list I didn’t get was Matthew. His lines were long throughout the whole con. But I got a picture with him and he complimented my Shaggy cosplay, so I still consider it a win! He was super kind.

The Hazbin gang were all so sweet and talking to them was so much fun! They all seemed to love my Sir Pentious cosplay! Erika even asked for a pic to show Alex. He didn’t respond while I was there, but he’s a very busy person, so I get it completely ^^

I nearly cried when I got to meet Rob. I have looked up to him for so long and it was so amazing to finally meet him. He was as wonderful as you’d expect. It was super hard to choose which poster for him to sign because he plays so many characters I love. I ended up picking Donnie because TMNT 2012 is my favorite version and I never see anything for it. I was telling him about how even some of his super specific roles like Eric from The Little Mermaid 2 have stuck with me and he gave me a hug! He also addressed me in Donnie’s voice and knew how to spell my name without me even needing to tell him! Most people don’t spell it right. He also complimented my cosplay and asked me how to make it and everything (I was Sir Pentious that day). It was such a good time. I would talk with him all day if I could. I unfortunately didn’t get a picture with him because I didn’t have enough money (things tend to go wrong when I’m trying to save money and I had to pay to fix some things the month before fhfhfhdn). But I’m hoping to see him again one day and next time I will get a picture!

Grey was so fun to talk to! She actually had her hair put up with a pin to look like Azula (Avatar: The Last Airbender), another character she plays. She excitedly addressed me as Shaggy (the cosplay I was wearing that day), telling my sister and I to "throw Scooby Snacks at any monsters you see!" and told us not to unmask anyone :’) she’s so silly and fun I love herrr! She gave us a hug, too! Frank was super nice and loved the poster my sister brought for him to sign (she got it from an artist at the con) and he even did Scooby’s voice to us!

My sister is a big fan of Cameron Monaghan, so we went to his panel. She was able to get a pic and autograph with him, too! I don’t have the pictures with her because I don’t think she’d want me to post her face here lol.

I didn’t get an autograph from him because of money, but I also got to meet Johnny Yong Bosch! He’s most known for Ichigo from Bleach, but what I was excited for was talking to him about Danganronpa (he is Hajime and Rantaro)!

This is my haul I got from comic con (excluding the things that came with my ticket). I did, indeed, come home with 4 Miku figures. But one was free! Because at that booth it was buy 2, get 1 free.

I also got a Neighthan Rot doll for fairly cheap (they go as high as $70 online). Tbh a Monster High doll is the last thing I expected to get at a con, but I’m pretty down with it lol. Especially because it’s in great condition and still had his journal!

For the Harry Potter sticker and pin, we got those for free at a free Harry Potter trivia we went to because HP is my sister’s favorite book series. She also won a book she doesn’t have! It was like a Dumbledore side story (note: neither of us support or like Rowling as a person. She did not get any money out of us, as this was free).

The mushroom sticker was given to me by an artist as I passed their table! Their info is there on the sticker if you’re interested in their work!

The stickerssss! They make me so happy. There was so many more this artist had that I wanted, but I didn’t have the money for it, unfortunately. I got Ciel, Sebastian, Grell, and Undertaker (Black Butler), Bill, Stan, Wendy, Dipper, Mabel, and Waddles (Gravity Falls - they didn’t have Soos or Ford rip), Craig and Tweek (South Park), Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel), Stolas (Helluva Boss), Rampo (Bungou Stray Dogs), and Amaimon (Blue Exorcist).

This stuff came with my ticket! I LOVE the poster!

I didn’t get these, but I thought they were really funny.

Post 2/2

[plantsandpies]

Hiiii do you have any headcanons or thoughts on the group of people in Fairy Tail that was left on Tenrou island? Like, stuff they thought of/did during the 7 year gap

I personally think that the people on tenrou were all in a coma-like state, so they could do anything. But people in comas can dream and hear things. So here are a few coma dream/thoughts! (I also am on my phone which means spelling and grammar might be off. Also it’s 3am. Please excuse any misspellings my phone missed.)

Natsu:

I’d like to think of something funny for him because, at least his main presented character at the time, wouldn’t have anything too serious, but we know that’s wrong with events later. So I think Mavis’s spell was the first like crack? in his memories as E.N.D/ dead Natsu. Like his dreams are playing with Zeref or some of the hidden dragon slayer memories they mentioned in an episode. Like a very relaxed day where he and the dragon kids are playing around, Anna and Zeref doing whatever they did then. (I have a hard time understanding if they had them actually live with the dragons or it was like daily daycare until the time portal). After tenrou, I think Natsu just disregards them because that didn’t happen. His mind just made it up, so he forgot about them.

Gray: Gray dreams of childhood. But also of his hometown before it was destroyed. One of his dreams was what his life would be like if the town wasn’t attacked. It was pretty peaceful, just sitting in the upper mountains, running the local inn. For a moment, not in the “I’m going to do this” way, he thinks that maybe he’d’ve liked that life more. That he could move to the mountains and just relax. Take a job without the monsters and crazy people. And part of him would love it. But another part him would despise it. Part of the fun of being a wizard is the travel and your guild mates. Gray loves both of those and even though the simple could seem nice, he’s sure he’d feel trapped in it. He later proves this during the year fairytail was disbanded.

Lucy: I think, unlike the others, who dreamt in a more reliving sense, I think Lucy has chats with her mom. i think her dreams were conversations with her mom over tea. She'd tell her mom every story and complain about natsu and happy. Her mom would laugh and comment on how much fun they sounded to be around. when lucy is off of tenrou, she wonders if her mom would actually react that way. if she'd be more worried or more excited than she was. This is all poured out in a letter to her mom.

Erza: I think Erza’s would vary a lot more than the rest of them. Like she’d be relieving a fun moment she had in the tower, hanging out with Simon, and then she’d be at the guild hall fighting with Mira. She’d imagine Jellal and him being happy, excepting his rough life. Maybe a few where they’re together. (Though I think it’s too soon for that, in like comparison to everything that happened in the year of stuff). I think maybe she thought of her mom. Not her real one, but her imagined mom. The people she imagined were her parents when she was younger. I think she’d make up fake childhood memories for herself with a different version of her parents, the ones she needed. I think these dreams were so spread out and constantly different, that Erza had to messily write down what was a memory vs. a dream/wish. Just so she doesn’t embarrass herself about getting her memories mixed up.

Wendy: Wendy is like twelve at this point. I think she dreams of her dragon (who I know the name of but don’t know how to spell it and I’m tired) giving her little wisdoms. I think she’d also get memories of Zeref and Anna, which she never mentions. I also think she’d think about the other guild member’s childhoods and come up with funny stories about them, just because it’s funny. I also think she would relieve her memories too, but her favorites were the weird skits they did in her mind. I think out of all of them, she remembers her dreams the most. She doesn’t meet Zeref until later, so she doesn’t talk about those dreams, and then she feels awkward about having had them and they still get left behind.

I could do more of these, but I’m a bit tired. So I’ll leave it here and maybe come back to it in the morning. I hope when I do everything I wrote made sense.

[cringelordofchaos]

Tolkien Black headcanons !!!!!!

Tw for multiple mentions of getting shot

Non-binary + romantically attracted to girls (based on Tupperware character description), pronouns - he/they

A bit of a Math+physics nerd + one of the best students in class (Cartman canonically cheats off of them on tests sometimes)

Has a really healthy and wholesome relationship with their parents + they sometimes either intentionally or unintentionally embarrass him in front of his friends but all in good fun (think of Ninjago Jay's relationship with Ed and Edna for reference)

Bit of a complicated relationship with Nichole (canon but i forgot in which episode it was said, but Nichole told Cartman that she and Tolkien are having some issues in their relationship? But it's not any of Cartmans business) (though he loves her and they even canonically have a picture of them together in his room)

Best friends with Craig, Clyde's a close second

Already mentioned it in my Craig headcanons posts but before Craig got with Tweek he would joke about proposing to Tolkien in the future so he could live off of their and their parents wealth lmao

Most serious/realistic??? out of Craig's gang

Has a bit more goofy / derpy side but is mostly embarrassed by it

Voice cracks in the future come to be the death of him

TW TRAUMA + POLICE BRUTALITY - is still quite distraught from being shot in the arm by a cop (in South ParQ Vaccination Special? Or was it on The Pandemic Special?) and is still distraught from that time his parents were arrested for no reason (in TFBW, where they also constantly targeted him and treated him (a ten year old child) like a threat), especially since most their childhood, like all the other kids, they were told that cops are their friends they can trust! But now he knows he can't trust them and avoids them whenever possible

Friendly

Canonically likes basketball (I like to imagine they sometimes play with Kyle!)

Favorite colour is purple (NO WAYYYY WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHTTTTTT /s)

Canonically feels out of place sometimes because of their family being rich

Sometimes takes the role of "the mom friend" (idk why. based on vibes. screw me)

Cringe TikTok user (canon 😞)

Not too much of a nerd like his dad

Since they actually hate that their name is Tolkien (cuz they don't like JRR Tolkien's books) maybe they change it in the future? I don't know what to though (but sometimes likes Token better)

Kind of understandably tired of everyone's shit

Wendy once said "I've dated him before, he's really nice!" or something like that sooo I take it as canon

Hates Cartman and has every single right to do so (he threw a rock at their head, shot them, and is just a racist asshole all the fucking time to them 😭😭)

But wait - what I don't understand is that they said "all that dungeons and dragons shit is lame" but in the stick of truth (haven't played it, only saw like 2 scenes in it) they were fully on board with playing fantasy? Like -

"THANK YOU FOR THY MESSAGE, TRAVELER! I SHALL MAKE HASTE TO KUPA KEEP!" - that sounds pretty nerdy to me Tolkien. Maybe they DO like nerdy shit but are just embarrassed to be associated with it???????? Idk I'm starting to get confused. Tolkien hyper fans / analysts if you're out there please help me

Canonically plays bass and still has his bass guitar in his room as shown in TFBW

Good person that usually puts others before themselves (like when Cartman told him to "be the bigger person" and tricked him into going over to him and getting shot by him)(still stands his ground and doesn't let people walk over him)

On southparkstudios.com it was said they're good friends with kenny and share struggles related to income (opposite sides of the same coin) so maybe they hang out sometimes. that'd be kinda cool.

Cat person I've decided though I don't think he cares too much abt the dogs vs cats debate

Gifted + talented kid but sometimes might be a perfectionist with overtly high expectations for themselves???????? Idfk what I'm on dude

Good memory

Likes to roleplay

Can't tell if he prefers fiction or nonfiction cuz of stick of truth but also because of the whole hating his name thing Eufhfhfuufnceucb

Ermmmm i think that's it for now Byeeeee god im so cringe

[w98pops]

YAAAY a new fallout oc who's conveniently a brother of my other fallout oc (wendy). some might remember the old family tree i made for her ITS NOT CANON NOW. i have the new one under the cut. and a bunch of silly drawings (mostly sharky because its his post)

about the gators (strip gang sharky is the leader of): they are the branch of the chairmen. by the year of 2301 new vegas seriously expanded, strip families kinda fell out and created a bunch of new strip families. the smaller families are called gangs, and they're pretty much their own thing, except they're under the big families' authority (gators are chairmen's, for example)

AND THE THING ABOUT FREESIDE wendy accidentally killed house (pulled the wrong lever and shut down his life support, something humorous like that) and replaced him with yes man. she made some stupid decisions and actually opened strip, which caused a lot of problems (some family wars, the reason they all fell off, some murders, stuff like that) but hey!! now the strip has a clinic run by followers :) and emily ortal works at the lucky 38 as a main (and only) technician. main resourse of money is still casinos, but there's a lot of auctions and markets happening, which keep the money flow. OKAY, THE DRAWINGS

sharky as a child :) he was non-verbal and wild

a new very nice family tree :) i originally made it for myself (im obsessed with doing family trees and very bad at remembering dates and names I created) but i think it looks super fun so here it is

the first ever sharky drawing from centuries ago. he is trans if it wasn't very clear 😭

and here's from when i was "researching" his character. flip-flops and jean shorts clearly didn't work out

[bellysoupset]

Ooh, and another question (this is not me at work, having a shit ton to do but not being able to concentrate). Can you talk about each of your OCs losing their virginity? Or first sexual experience beyond kissing if that’s better. Was it positive or negative? Does their current partner know the story? Just feeling like hearing the steamy stuff, lol.

Lis you got no idea of how this ask caused me to spiral lol. So I knew I had answered something like this a while ago, but I couldn't find where in my blog because the search function is useless. So I ended up downloading all of my answers and putting them into one big document... ANYWAY

None of my OCs lost their V card with each other. I really don't much care about the "concept" of virginity, besides how it would affect them, so I do make a point of not having any of my characters be each other's first anything, unless we're talking feelings.

Wendy: Wen's sexual history started very young, she was precocious AF, living in NYC and going to private school. She barely remembers her first encounter, but it was at the turn of fourteen and with a boy that was seventeen and wanted to keep her as a little secret. Safe to say not the best experience. (Reminder this was before her transition). It got quickly pushed aside by many many other encounters, since Wendy hooked up a lot in her early teens. Vince does know about all of this, she opened up completely when they went to NYC.

Vince: Vin's first experience was with a boy actually! Which caused him to totally spiral! A boy from his high school's football team (Corey), they didn't even date, just hooked up and that made Vin suck it up and come out to his parents as bi, who were so supportive despite him being sooo scared. After that the first girl he was with was Miranda, who was older by a year. They dated during her senior year and then she stomped on his heart when she broke up with him to go for college across the country. Despite knowing the relationship wouldn't have lasted, Vince still holds a grudge. Both first times were positive! Wendy knows only about Corey, she's still under the assumption "Vin's high school gf" was just a little dating that lasted two dates, instead of a full year.

Bella: Bella never had a steady boyfriend before Luke. She kissed around a lot as a teen, but lost her V-card to her HS best friend, Gabriel, in his car when she turned 18. It was okay, not amazing, not the worst. They both left town for college soon after. She had hook ups with girls and boys after that, but honestly, and it pains her to say it because it'll go up his head, Luke is IT. Anyone she hooked up with before him or during their break simply doesn't compare. Lucas does know about Gabriel and he's pretty fucking jealous, which Bella thinks is very silly. Most people don't believe Bella only had sex at 18 btw.

Luke: Lost his v-card to a neighbor in their gated community, named Maya. They were both 14 and had no idea what they were doing, so it was technically pretty bad, but overall a cool positive experience. He hooked up with his roommate Gian at 15, when he went to boarding school. Also nice experience. Bella knows about Gian and Maya and dislikes them both, but Maya specially because she feels like competition. Maya's a ginger too, to make everything worse. Luke knows he cannot win when the matter is jealousy, Bella is insufferable, so he never lets the convo go there.

Leo: I think everyone will boo at this. Leo was dating a guy from 15 to 17 (until his father's death), but he lost his V-card at 15 with a much older dude (like 23). Yes, it was cheating. Yes, the guy had no business being around a 15 yo. Yes, Leo also shouldn't be in a bar at 15. Overall though, the dude was super nice and Leo doesn't regret it?? The boy he cheated on never learned about it and Leo lowkey stomped on his heart when he hit 17, so. Jonah has uh. no idea. He knows Leo broke some boy's heart at 17, but not about all the rest.

Jonah: First experience at 16 with a boy named Konstantin, who spoke mostly German, and that's where Jonah has his few german words from lol. It was very nice, but only fun and never went beyond that. Jonah also hooked up with Theo, that I brought up in this fic, and he has never told Leo because his fiancee is crazy-ex-boyfriend levels of insane. Besides, it was just once. Luke knows about Theo. Leo only knows about Konstantin and hates him on principle.

Max: soooo Max is actually the late bloomer of my OCs! (Well not really, but compared to the others he is). He lost his v-card in college, at 22 🙈 and he made no efforts to tell the girl he was with that he was a virgin. If she figured it out, she didn't say anything, but she also didn't call back so. It wasn't bad, it was just completely unremarkable and Max was left with a is that it? sensation. He has fucked around a lot since, but since he only has casual flings, he still is left with that is that it? feeling.

[shippergirl-14]

Butters Head Canons

Hii, I got some more head canons for you and again these mostly apply when he is older. Maybe I should change the series name lol ?

Also, can someone tell me if both of his parents are Hawaiin or only one of them ? ( or is this just a popular hc ?)

Also, please feel free to share your own head canons ^^

He is one of the youngest in his grade and still a little bit naive.

His parents have stopped to ground him for every little thing, since their son got a little more confident in talking back at them thanks to his friends. He still is scared of his father though.

He is in one of the commitees to help organize school events and lift off pressure of the school representatives.

The other members tend to pill all their work on him with some excuse and Butters would feel too bad to decline. He wasn't aware that they were actually using him until his friends pointed it out. Kenny had had a word with them and now they are super nice to him.

In middle school, he has started to dance again in his free time, having tried out all different types. He has a natural talent and it’s really relaxing for him.

Aside from Kyle, Stan and Kenny he also is pretty close to Jimmy, Bebe and Wendy. He would sometimes hang out with Cartman because he feels bad for him.

He has undiagnosed autism therefore he has trouble reading the room or accidentally says something people would consider rude.

He is unaware that he is masking most of the time, but he feels less on edge around his friends. His special interest is still Hello Kitty and he could rant about it for hours.

His sensory issues mostly revolve around sensibility to different textures, smells and tastes. He can't eat soup or hates the smell of raspberries because it makes him physically ill.

Since he also has some trouble with the texture of clothing, he has found interest in shopping with the goal to find something that doesn’t make his skin itch. Bebe often joins him.

He is the cousin of Tweek and they are really close.

His favorite subjects are English, Art and Music. His grades are good to average.

When he has a crush on someone, he makes it really obvious without realizing it, leading to everyone knowing it.

On the other hand, he is really oblivious when someone has a crush on him, believing they are just friendly.

He is actually really scary when he is angry.

He loves playing animal crossing and sometimes lends Kenny his Nintendo to play as well.

Tomodachi life is also something he still plays sometimes and he puts the people he doesn’t like in less pretty rooms.

Since the ninja incident with Kenny happened he has a scar around his eye.

He is really good at memorizing dates and planning different events.

He is a really bad liar.

Whenever he has a sleepover with Tweek, they stay up all night to watch Cartoons. He doesn’t drink their coffee though.

[spikedsoul]

maid's worst nightmare - ch 22

here we are! enjoy bowser starting to sink a little deeper

previous chapters

@sovereign-of-succ

"It's a little small, isn't it?"

You looked up at Bowser, frowning a bit, your hands on your hips. Bowser, unsurprisingly, was smirking, clearly pleased with himself.

"Nah, it'll be fine," he insisted. "Just give it a try, handmaid."

You pursed your lips and looked back down at it. It really wasn't what you usually went for, but at the moment it was either this or nothing, and it was pretty cute…

"Alright, fine," you sighed dramatically. Bowser pumped his fist in triumph, hissing in delight as he shoved it into your hands. You curled your fingers around it before or could slip out of your hands and promptly turned for the bathroom. "But no comments if it doesn't look good, got it?" You wagged your finger at him just before shutting the door.

You sighed again as you looked down at the dress in your hands. Apparently Kamek had found it hidden away in a chest somewhere and figured it would be something you could fit into, and Bowser himself had somehow come up with a pair of biker shorts for you to wear underneath. At the very least, the clothes were freshly washed instead of the few-day-old ones you were wearing now.

The dress went about to your mid thigh once you had it on, which made you eternally grateful for the shorts. The skirt had a cute little flare to it and swished rather nicely when you twisted your hips. The top was a halter style, which wasn't your favorite since it exposed your shoulders and bra straps, but you'd have to deal for now.

Kamek insisted he'd have better clothes for you by dinner so you could only hope some of them were a little less revealing.

"Hurry up, Bethicca," Bowser snorted impatiently just outside the door.

Okay. Bethicca wasn't one you'd heard before and you couldn't stop your laugh at the absurdity of the mishmash name. Maybe he'd come up with some other names during your stay that you could use to confuse people even further.

"Bethicca?" You grinned as you swung the door open.

Bowser's jaw dropped as he gaped at you. Your grin faded a little, your amusement quickly replaced with self consciousness.

Don't freak out, Bethicca… Ludwig said yesterday that Bowser wasn't exactly used to spending time around women. Either he was about to make a crass comment to save face, or he would genuinely compliment you and you could feel good about yourself… hell, you'd actually take an insult, too, because you could play off of it.

"Ya look - uh - I mean - that dress - nice–" The king struggled. He gestured to you, mouth flapping uselessly a few times and eyes flicking up and down your form, then he pointed toward the bedroom door. "Kids–"

Okay… yeah. That made you feel pretty good that just putting on a dress made a king speechless.

You smiled at him and moved to head on your way. Unsurprisingly, his head swiveled on his neck as you passed by him; his hand lifted like he wanted to stop you, but ultimately he just let you go.

"Uh… lunch… here… b-be here," he managed to get out as you opened the door.

You chuckled, turning to smile at him just to see if it would have an effect. "Yessir," you chimed. His mouth at least snapped shut but you left before you saw any further reaction, a small bubble of giddiness forming in your chest.

It honestly made you feel pretty good that you could turn at least one head just from putting on a dress. It had been way too long since you'd felt that good about yourself!

But you had a job to do, so while you kept your happy mood, you focused on finding your way to Wendy's room first. It was getting a little easier to navigate the halls so soon enough you arrived at her door. You hadn't noticed earlier when you got ushered in from getting frostbite, but her door had a fashion poster on it, which you found to be rather fitting for the stylish koopa girl.

You knocked, loud enough to hear, but clearly not her dad, and waited. After what felt like minutes (but probably wasn't even thirty seconds) the young princess opened the door.

"Oh, Maidie," Wendy blinked in surprise. "No wonder you didn't just barge in like dad does. You look awfully cute and happy today, what's up?"

You smiled at Wendy. "I'm in charge of coming to check on you all today," you explained. "And while I'm here I just wanted to thank you again for helping me after that blizzard. How do you race when there's such an environmental threat?"

"Oh." She waved away your thanks like it was no big deal and grabbed your hand, gently tugging you into her room. "When the track is in use, it generates enough heat to prevent risk of hypothermia. Plus, humans don't usually race on our track out of season."

You blinked as you allowed her to pull you toward her bathroom. "Right…" you replied, more or less just to indicate you'd heard, but you were now more concerned about what she planned to do with you.

Clearly, Wendy picked up on your mild anxiety and glanced back at you with a little smile. Instead of saying anything, though, she lightly patted your hand and guided you to sit in a chair in front of her bathroom counter.

A large mirror backed the counter, much too big for such a small koopa, with lights sounding the edges like a backstage makeup booth. You had to shield your eyes briefly when she flicked them on. But she didn't even flinch, just diving into her drawers like a girl on a mission.

"Hey, Wendy? What are we doing?"

"It's not obvious?" she scoffed, practically slamming a hair dryer onto the counter. "I'm gonna make you look like a princess, duh." Various makeup pallets and sticks and brushes quickly followed suit. "Princess Peach never lets me touch her unless it's an emergency, but now I have you to play with! Uh… you've already put lotion on those cheeks, right?" She caught your eye in the mirror.

You sighed, but smiled and nodded. "Yeah, your dad won't let me forget to keep my face and hands moisturized."

Wendy giggled quietly, making your eyes narrow suspiciously at her, but she just grabbed the first tube of foundation. "Well, you look so pretty in that dress, let's just finish the look! I'll style your hair a bit, too, but it's actually pretty decent just as is."

"Well, thanks, I guess. Considering I don't have any of my normal products, that's good to know." You chuckled softly and settled into the chair to let her experiment to her heart's content. You just ate breakfast, so you had quite a few hours to kill before you had to be back at the room for lunch.

"Okay, Maidie! When I'm done, you won't even recognize yourself!"

"I do still have to check on the others…" you reminded her softly.

She rolled her eyes at you. "Oh don't worry, I'll be done pretty quick once I get your skin tones. Now shut up and sit still!"

Ahh… kids were so sweet.

[12freddofrogs]

Three episodes into Artful Dodger.

Thoughts so far that are not particularly spoilery but will be under a readmore nonetheless:

1. Baby Dodger is adorable. I love his little accent ("guv!") that very much feels like a literal Dickensian street child. I want more flashbacks. Give me all of the flashbacks.

2. Belle and Jack steadily creating all of modern medicine themselves within a week is a little bit dramatic, but I don't care; it's fun. They have a fantastic dynamic and it's a fun balance of genuine respect and also being very annoyed at each other.

3. Actually everything about Belle is fun? I like that she's just running a different subplot entirely. Just blackmails a surgeon into teaching her. Doesn't fully grasp her class privilege but does have a pretty good idea of it; is very willing to use her title to actually fix things. Assists with surgery in a ballgown and a tiara, and presumably climbed out of her window wearing it.

4. On a character level, I support Jack's desire to not thieve and want him to do well about it, but also I adored watching the Artful Dodger do a pickpocket with the card. He is so good at it, its his absolute skillset.

5. Fagin is less annoying then he was in the first episode. The fact he does actually seem to care about Dodger/Jack helps, the whole e2 scheme being almost entirely for Jack's benefit with the gambling debt rather than to make a profit himself. That said, Fagin definitely has some plan upcoming that Jack isn't going to like.

6. I liked Fagin making a "best of times/ worst of times" reference, but it was almost too subtle. Different book entirely. I am very much hoping Jack will at some point say "Consider yourself part of the furniture" or something equally blatant as a reference to the musical. Tells Belle "Its clear we're going to get along."

7. I want Oliver Twist himself to turn up at some point. Ideally as a very nice guy, because that is more in tune with the book of the virtuous kid, regardless of Jack's feelings towards him, and it would be kind of great if Jack just punches Oliver and he's still not telling anyone about Dodger.

But come on, you can't just name a character 'Jack Dawson' and call it an adaption (spin off? Sequel? Its not trying to be Oliver Twist), there needs to be significant link. Yes, yes, Fagin is there but they are inventing half their backstory so it helps but doesn't really count. I am still mad about that book that just named characters Peter, James, and Wendy and called it an adaption with no closer link. That's not an adaption that's an allusion.

(7 and 1 are linked, btw. Please give us a flashback of baby Oliver and the Artful Dodger. Show us a scene from the book, or make one up during the book's time period. I want it. I will not give you anything for it but I want it. Please)