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padfootagain · 4 months ago

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Love in Verses (XX)

Chapter 20 : My heart has made its mind up and I’m afraid it’s you

Hi! Here is a new chapter! Valentine’s day is here… wondering how Andrew is going to cope with it, huh?

I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 2477

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Valentine

My heart has made its mind up And I’m afraid it’s you. Whatever you’ve got lined up, My heart has made its mind up And if you can’t be signed up This year, next year will do. My heart has made its mind up And I’m afraid it’s you.

Wendy Cope

Andrew had a date tonight.

He hadn’t been on a first date since Sam, obviously, he felt rusty and nervous. He didn’t even know the woman, Alex had set up the date. Christina, that was her name. A year younger than him, working as a nurse at St James’s Hospital. Alex had showed him a picture, she was pretty. Apparently, she was nice and a lot of fun. Why not give her a chance?

Andrew was desperate at that point. Desperate to see if he could ever move on from Sam, desperate to prove himself that he didn’t have a crush on you. That this was nothing serious, just his heart longing for companionship when he felt so lonely these days. Besides, it was Valentine’s Day, he was so painfully lonely, he needed to focus on something else than his love life in shambles. He needed to try to move on. And if he did, he needed to do so with a woman who wasn’t you.

So, he had accepted Alex’s offer, had booked a table at a nice restaurant, had tried to look his best for tonight. Elwood was staying with Jon for the evening, he didn’t have to worry about going home late.

And now, there he was, running five minutes late as he walked inside the restaurant, but for his standard, he called that a win. Five minutes… who would care for five minutes?

Apparently, Christina would.

He had a shy but polite smile on his face when he spotted her across the room. He was polite as he took a seat. Meanwhile, she gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“Was there any traffic tonight?” she asked, and Andrew knew at once what she was talking about.

“Erm… it just… took me longer than I thought it would to drop my dog off at my brother’s. Sorry about that. I hope you didn’t wait for too long.”

“No, it’s okay,” she admitted, and she seemed to relax knowing the reason for his short delay. “It’s a nice place you’ve chosen, by the way.”

“Yeah? Glad you like it. Should we take a look at the menu, then?”

They quickly ordered their food, and then began the usual dance of questions that came with trying to learn the most basic things about a person while they waited for their meal.

“So… Alex told me you’re a professor? At Trinity?”

“I am,” Andrew nodded, before drinking a gulp of water. “Assistant professor, actually.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Erm… the paycheck, definitely,” Andrew joked, making Christina smile. “It’s a different rank at University… extremely hierarchical organisation. I don’t have a chair. I give classes, I do research, but I don’t have the same prestige and don’t own a chair for my work.”

“Right…”

“Which is normal, I’m not complaining. Chairs are rare, I’ll probably have to wait another decade to get the rank of professor.”

She didn’t seem reassured by that, Andrew wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“For how long have you been working at Saint James?” Andrew asked back.

“A couple of years.”

“Do you like it there?”

“Yeah… I guess,” she shrugged, and Andrew waited for her to say more about the matter, but she didn’t.

“And so… what do you teach at Trinity?” she asked after a short silence.

“Erm… English. Contemporary poetry, mainly, but I cover a lot of modernism as well through novels.”

She blinked a couple of times.

“Right… so… you like books.”

He gave her an amused smile.

“You can say that.”

“The last book I’ve read was a mandatory reading in high school,” she admitted.

“The last time I cleaned up a wound without feeling sick was… never. So, I guess we’re even,” Andrew offered with a smile, and Christina nodded.

And it was alright, of course. People had many interests. And his partner didn’t have to be interested in the same things as he did. Sam was the perfect example of that. Still… he didn’t really know what to talk about next.

They spent the next few minutes making chit chat, but it was laborious at best. Andrew used a moment of silence in the conversation to take a look around. The restaurant was obviously busy on Valentine’s Day. The decoration was simple but aesthetically pleasing; candles and white or red roses added to each table to enhance the theme of the evening. There were only couples around.

Only couples…

“Andy?”

He turned around, recognising the voice in an instant.

He couldn’t help it, his face fell for a second, before he could summon the strength to hide his reaction.

The universe itself was set against him at this point…

He got up, forced a smile to greet Sam and Frank.

“It’s so funny finding you here!”

“Yeah… wasn’t expecting to see you!” he forced a smile.

Frank noticed Christina then.

“Oh, honey, we’re disturbing Andrew, I think. Sorry, about that,” he was genuine in his apology as he warmly smiled at Christina.

Sam flinched, but quickly smiled as well.

“Oh, sorry! Have a nice evening you two!”

They moved away quickly, reaching their own table. Just a couple of tables away. Right where Andrew could see them whenever he looked up from his plate.

Nice… grand…

“Erm… what are your hobbies?” he asked out of the blue, trying to get the conversation going again, if only to distract himself from Frank and Sam holding hands across their table.

“Oh… not much. I don’t really have the time for those… I like running.”

“Nice!”

“Do you like jogging?”

“Erm… not that much. But I love swimming.”

“I can’t swim.”

“Right… do you like the sea anyway? Like… the beach? Running on the beach, maybe?”

“Not really, no. I’m not very interested in the sea. It’s a little scary.”

“Oh, okay.”

Andrew focused on his meal, but with every painful question asked and answered, it was more and more obvious that they had nothing in common.

A couple of tables away, Frank and Sam were sharing food, a habit Andrew knew Sam hated. They were holding hands, and giggling, and looking so disgustingly in love, while he was on his own, while he wanted that intimacy back, while he thought of you…

Andrew wasn’t sure at which point of the evening you had popped into his mind, but you were all he could think of, right now. He had mentioned that he was going on a date, but you had not given him any details concerning your plans for the evening. You would call your friend Siobhán, you had mentioned some ice cream… were you reading? Watching crappy tv or a good movie? Had you changed your plans? Were you on a date as well?

Andrew couldn’t refrain the bitter taste of jealousy as he thought of you with someone else… as he imagined you in his shoes, at a nice restaurant, meeting with a stranger, and perhaps you would let him hold your hand across the table and would kiss him at the end of the evening, and even spend the night with him…

A wave of nausea made it impossible for him to finish his plate as he thought of you in another man’s bed.

The couple dining at the table right next to Andrew’s started raising their voices. Not enough to draw attention from the entire restaurant, but enough for Andrew and Christina to overhear everything. An argument was brewing. Jealousy and an unhealthy relationship at its peak.

In a matter of five minutes, the two were almost shouting at each other. Andrew and Christina exchanged an embarrassed look while the guy complained about how often they had sex.

And Sam was still there, every time he looked up. And you were all he could think of. And Christina was nice, sure, but they were absolutely incompatible on every level.

And then the last straw came.

“Are you religious?” she asked, and Andrew shook his head.

“No, not really, no.”

“Oh…”

“What about you?”

“Yes, very.”

“Oh…”

“Is that… like… are you just not going to church, or…”

“I… I don’t know. I’m an agnostic, I would say.”

“A what?”

“Agnostic. I don’t know if there’s a God up there or not. I’m… neutral, I guess you could say it like that. But I wouldn’t go to church even if I did believe in God.”

“Really? Why not?”

“I’m wary of any institution run by men that uses its power to dictate how people should behave, including in the most private parts of their lives.”

She blinked, struggling with this new information.

“So… you would never practice religion…”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Right… Cause it’s a very important part of my life.”

“And I respect that.”

“But you would not start believing.”

“Why would I?”

“For me?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Would you think it was okay if I asked you to give up on your faith to be in a relationship with me?”

“Of course not!”

“Then… how can you ask? We can have different beliefs…”

“But you’re wrong.”

“I can’t be wrong, Christina. It’s faith. And it’s the definition of faith to believe without proof. You can’t say I’m wrong, and I can’t say you are. We just have different faiths.”

She nodded, but had stopped eating.

Next to them the angry couple raised their voices again.

“Can I be brutally honest?” she asked, her voice softer now.

Andrew merely nodded.

“You’re clearly a really nice lad, Andy. And I’m not going to deny that Alex was right when he said that you’re definitely my type. But… it looks like we… don’t match.”

Andrew gave her a kind smile.

“I agree,” he nodded. “I don’t think our lives are very compatible.”

“Not really no.”

“You’re good craic though. And you’re… gorgeous, to be honest.”

“Thanks.”

“I don’t think we’d be able to find common things to build a relationship on, though.”

“Me neither. Would you mind if we called it a night?”

“No… no, I don’t mind, I understand.”

“Thanks.”

They paid for their food, left the restaurant while the couple bickered and Frank and Sam were still in love. Andrew waited for Christina to get safely in an uber, before he would walk to his own car.

He heaved a sigh, tried not to cry.

Everywhere he went, Sam’s ghost followed.

Whatever he did, you were always on his mind.

Were you home safe and sound? What were you doing? Was there a man with you?

He reached for his phone, his car still silent in the carpark. He touched your name on his screen, and you answered after three rings.

“Andy?”

“Hi, Y/N! You’re alright ?”

“Sure! Just… about to watch some adorable romcom to remind myself of unattainable standards concerning men and relationships, will most certainly have a good cry over the fact that the man I wanted to marry is probably getting amazing sex with his new fiancée, and I will definitely eat my weight in ice cream. You? How was your date? It’s early still… did everything go well?”

“Argh… don’t mention it. Everything about it was awful.”

He described his evening, and you listened, commented, interjected every now and then.

“You deserve to eat your weight in ice cream too,” you stated.

“I think I do, yeah… although… I think I’ll just go to bed once I’m home.”

“Are you driving?”

“No, no… don’t worry. I just… I felt bad. So, I called you before leaving the parking lot in front of the restaurant. I can see all those disgustingly happy couples walk out of there hand in hand…”

“Outrageous. Don’t they know we’re mourning?!”

“No decency. And God, I hate Valentine’s Day…”

“Me too… I feel… so empty today. Frank and I used to always go to the cinema on Valentine’s Day. He always stole all my popcorn. I found that adorable.”

He heard you sniffing, his heart broke at the sound. He wished he could have been there, hold you tight until the tears would subside, until he could make you smile again.

“What would you have done with Sam?” you asked, your voice hoarse with sorrow.

Andrew shrugged, stared at the night sky, made utterly black by the clouds.

“A restaurant, probably. Flowers. Nothing too fancy, but it would have been nice.”

He struggled to swallow, his throat tightening.

“Frank and Sam were sharing their food.”

“Hmm? Yeah, Frank does that sometimes.”

“Sam hates it. She hates it. She never wanted me to touch her food. Why does she let him do that, then?”

A short silence, your answer in a whisper.

“To make him happy.”

Andrew pondered on your words. You were right, obviously. When he spoke again, his voice was low and soft, barely above a whisper.

“I really wish I didn’t have to do that again to be loved.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend. Change. Stop… being myself sometimes.”

You were quiet, but you were still there. He knew it. He could hear you breathing in the phone. And beyond that reassuring sound, he just knew you were listening. He was never sure with Sam.

“I’d really like that too,” you whispered, and he hummed in response.

A happy couple came out of the restaurant then. Andrew watched them reach their car, laughing, holding hands. He felt so fucking lonely… So utterly alone in this world. No one knew him like that anymore…

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you promise me something?”

“What is it?”

“Promise me you… promise me you’ll never change for me. Promise me you won’t pretend. I want you to…”

He cleared his throat, brushing the tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes.

“I want you to be yourself when I’m around. Can you do that?”

He heard you sniffing again. You were quiet for a moment, but Andrew knew you were nodding, he could hear the quiet hum that went with it.

“Andy?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. Thank you, Andy.”

You sniffed, struggled through a few words, but Andrew was patient, he was drying his cheeks on his sleeves anyway.

“I don’t want you to pretend either when you’re with me, you know?”

“I know.”

He was lying. He didn’t know. He didn’t know at all. He didn’t know how to be loved, except by not quite being himself.

You both remained silent for a while, but it was still reassuring to know that you were there, on the other end of the line. Andrew should have hung up then. He should have let you watch your cheesy movie, and eat your ice cream. Instead, he spoke again.

“I’ve finished Dante, by the way.”

He spent the next forty-five minutes talking about Inferno with you. And after the call had ended, and he was finally driving home, it was harder than ever to deny that he wanted you.

#hozier #andrew hozier byrne #the hoziest #hozier x reader #hozier x you #hozier x y/n #hozier series #hozier fanfiction #hozier fanfic #hozier au #hozier professor au #professor au #au #series #writing #fanfiction #fanfic

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spritesitrus · 29 days ago

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Heyo!

What's a headcanon/story about your Koopalings, that no one has asked the right question yet, for you to tell about?

(Like, you have a headcanon about their favourite foods or something, but no one has asked about that yet)

I totally forgot to share their dynamics like long ago so quick chart I made to quickly summarize the more important dynamics (plus some extra ones)

The last one is a little joke that goes with a short fic I was writing of the Koops worrying about Jr and Larry becoming adults since enough bad things have happened to the rest of them because of lore reasons™ (the point in which this fic takes place in my timeline is when everyone's doin' good tho so nothing to worry about)

Anyways I wanted to share some little tidbits of the fic cuz why not

Also as a treat, I will share some dumb trivia for them (I did already share some of Iggy's stuff before but I'll just leave it here since I just took it from these lol ToT) and I've included Jr as well!

Cooking Skills

Ludwig- Cooking hasn't been his strong suit for a long time and prefers to not “Meddle with those affairs”(his words).

Lemmy- He's able to cook but usually only cooks stuff he knows and never really ventures out to try new things. But he's always happy to try if it's something everyone agrees on wanting to eat.

Morton- Used to suck but has become the best chef out of all of them. He enjoys cooking for others and always offers to do it.

Roy- Can cook basic level things but he's not really good at it. He doesn't like waiting so sometimes it gets burnt.

Iggy- Absolute dogshit at cooking. Do not let him near a stove unless you want something to blow up.

Wendy- She's good at cooking but it's not something she likes doing regularly all the time. God forbid having to cook with her other siblings too, it'd just be chaos.

Larry- Only knows how to use the michael wave.

Jr- He waits to be served.

Singing Voice (formatted this on an understanding that this is them having a karaoke night)

Ludwig- He's good at singing but I think it's one of those voices that are just decent in their own way rather than being outstanding. It's probably one of the few things Ludwig is okay about not being perfect.

Lemmy- He's pretty tone deaf but he tries. Everyone cheers him on for his enthusiasm.

Morton- He sings quietly but he's not actually half-bad. It's not something he really likes doing so he just lets anyone else sing if they want the mic.

Roy- Not that great and he falsettos a lot. He probably steals the mic the most.

Iggy- He's alright at singing but can’t reach high notes well and is quite flat.

Wendy- The best singer out of them all. She has a powerful voice and is a showoff about it.

Larry- His singing is quite nice but prefers rapping more. He's the type of mf who beatboxes at crazy speeds.

Jr- He's actually pretty good at singing too but it embarrasses him the most since everyone is so enthusiastic for him when he does.

Dance Skills

Ludwig- Only knows how to waltz because of course he does. Outside of that, he dances exactly like a dad. He makes sure to avoid Bowser during parties so the others can't compare them.

Lemmy- A total dancing machine. He mostly likes to do break dancing and disco but can quickly pick up on other dances as well.

Morton- Doesn't seem like someone who dances, but he will get down if the situation calls for it.

Roy- A great dancer who always likes to show off whenever he's partying. He can breakdance, pop and lock, moonwalk, you name it, he can do it. He's also a really good teacher and teaches a dance class in his spare time. The only time he ever wanted to give up on a student was when he was teaching Iggy.

Iggy- Can't dance for shit, like he literally has no rhythm. The only move he knows is the floss and it took the gang forever to teach him how in the first place.

Wendy- A very graceful dancer and knows ballet. Though she's always ready to be on the dance floor too. How could she not when she and Roy are literally besties?

Larry- A pretty good dancer. He can pick up moves easily and knows how to groove.

Jr- He tries to act too cool and cross his arms all like “Heh, I don't dance” but in reality, it's because he's embarrassed that he's a clumsy dancer.

#ask #headcanons #koopalings #ludwig von koopa #lemmy koopa #morton koopa jr #roy koopa #iggy koopa #wendy o koopa #larry koopa #bowser jr #super mario bros #mario bros #smb

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hmslusitania · 6 months ago

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Either 16 or 21 or both or neither

There was no specified ship, so it ended up being kind of pre-relationship TimKon

The party had been a questionable choice, Tim can admit that now. Nothing says “I’m so totally over a relationship, see how fine I’m doing!” like throwing a Halloween party, drinking a little too much at the sight of his ex-girlfriend making out with her new girlfriend who is, for most purposes, Tim’s sister, and then retreating to the bathroom because his more recent ex-boyfriend had actually taken him up on the invitation and brought a plus one.

Which is why he’s hiding in the bathtub in his own bathroom, not totally shielded from view by the novelty map of Faerûn shower curtain Steph had helped him pick out. At least it matches the elf ears that had seemed like a good idea six hours ago, and at least the porcelain he’s resting his face against is cooling and pleasant.

His relative peace — generally not helped by the thumping of the bass from the stereo in the party beyond his room — is interrupted an unknowable amount of time later by the bathroom door opening without a knock, and then he’s in the company of…

“What are you supposed to be?” Tim asks without lifting his head from the side of the tub.

Kon looks down at his “costume” which includes fingerless gloves, a denim jacket, and a black and red buffalo check shirt.

“Breakfast Club?” Kon prompts.

Tim blinks at him.

“Come on, we watched it for YJ movie night like last month,” Kon reminds him.

“I wasn’t there,” Tim says, miserable, and sags a little farther into the comforting embrace of the side of the tub.

“We were gonna do a whole group thing, right, except we decided you’d for sure have to be Ally Sheedy, not Emilio Estevez or Anthony Michael Hall,” Kon continues, unphased by Tim’s demeanour. “But then Cissie wanted to dress up like Wendy instead, and I’m pretty sure Cassie’s dressed up like me, which is kinda a head trip. And Bart had some whole situation where he can’t make our party because he got roped into babysitting Jai and Irey while they go trick-or-treating, because as screwy as my family might be, only when you’re a member of the West-Allen family do you really get to go babysit your, uh…”

“Second cousins,” Tim supplies.

“Huh, I definitely thought that was gonna be a weirder chain of relationship,” Kon says.

He sits on the bathmat next to Tim’s head and pokes him in the side of the face.

“Stop,” Tim says.

“So is there a particular reason you’re hiding from your own party in your bathroom?” Kon asks.

“I’m bitterly single?” Tim replies.

Kon considers him. “So, I get why you invited Steph, because she’s still for sure one of your best friends, and I’m pretty sure you’re, like, contractually obliged to invite Cass to events, and they’re a matched set. But like… your civilian ex-boyfriend who likes to conspiracy theory about the majority of the rest of your guests?”

Tim groans and shuts his eyes, only to have Kon pry one of them open and stare at him up close.

“I wanted to prove I was, like, mature and evolved and so totally over it,” Tim says, and feels stupid even saying it.

“Which is why you’re drunk in your bathtub, sure, yeah, I get that,” Kon says, and smiles when Tim rolls his eyes.

“You don’t have to be in here being nice to me, you can just like… enjoy the party,” Tim says.

“The party where my ex-girlfriend is dressed up in my clothes and making out with our other very good friend who’s dressed up like my all time fictional crush? That party?” Kon asks, and Tim snorts.

“Do you ever think about the fact you dated two girls named Cassandra and both of them turned out to be gay?” Tim asks.

“With really similar taste in women, also,” Kon adds. “And, like, yeah, every once in a while.”

Tim hums and closes his eyes again, but this time, Kon doesn’t pry his eyes open.

“I know you’re mad at me,” Tim mumbles finally. “You didn’t have to come.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Kon says, and this time the physical botherment he inflicts is tweaking the elf ear Tim had spent a stupid amount of time gluing on. “I was questioning your judgement, which is so not the same thing.”

“Judgement I definitely didn’t improve by throwing this party, right?” Tim guesses. Kon makes a noncommittal noise.

“Like I get that you have a thing for blonds with a penchant for getting into trouble, but…” Kon says.

“Not just blonds,” Tim mumbles before he can think better of it. He blinks when he realises what he’s said and finds Kon staring at him curiously. “I’m really fine, Kon, you can go enjoy the party.”

“Nah,” Kon says, and before Tim can move to stop him, he clambers over the side of the tub to squish into the narrow space between Tim and the shower wall, his combat boots which have a certain authenticity that say they might have been Pa Kent’s from the ’60s clunking against the basin. Kon wriggles his shoulders trying to get comfortable for a second, and then gives up and wraps his arm around Tim. It’s just for the better use of space, Tim’s sure, but it’s… it’s really nice. And when Kon tugs him sideways until Tim rolls over so he’s resting the side of his face on Kon’s chest rather than on the side of the tub, it’s so damn pleasant he can barely stand it. “I’d much, much rather be in here with you.”

It makes Tim’s heart flutter in his chest and he knows Kon can hear that, which is just embarrassing, and which he can only sort of blame on the alcohol.

“Yeah, okay, Bender,” he says, trying desperately to hit annoyed.

Kon gives him a full belly laugh that echoes off the bathroom tile, and squeezes him just a little closer. “I knew you’d seen the Breakfast Club before.”

Tim rolls his eyes and smacks Kon in the stomach with a light, open palm. It gets him another laugh, and maybe, just maybe, this party hadn’t been the worst idea after all.

#tim drake #kon-el #conner kent #timkon #young justice #dc #gratuitous breakfast club references because I just made hella brunch #i know they don't eat brunch in the breakfast club #but like. twas on the mind #the ghost ship scribbles

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lkfarrout · 3 months ago

Text

HR (Stan x fem!Reader)

Summary: you decide to give your boss a little scare

Warnings: playful flirting, nothing overtly sexual

"Did you see what Stan was wearing yesterday? That open collar..."

"Ew! He's like my grandpa. Why would you even say that?" Wendy made a fake gagging sound. You enjoyed having her as a coworker, despite sometimes forgetting she was nearly ten years younger than you.

You'd started working at the Mystery Shack in the spring, while Wendy was still in school, and when summer began, you were grateful to finally have someone to talk to when things were slow in the giftshop. Her and Dipper even invited you onto the roof occasionally. It was nice to have someone to confide in about your crush, too, even if she pretended it was super gross.

"Why don't you ask him out already? He'll say yes, I mean he stares at you constantly." She was right - the world's darkest pair of sunglasses couldn't hide Stan's obvious gaze over your figure as you stocked the shelves every day. Not to mention calling you "doll" any chance he got. But until now, you'd pretended to be blissfully unaware, biding your time patietly.

"Oh, I will," you assurred Wendy, "but I'm gonna give him hell first. I got a plan, just wait."

---

"Yeah, and when you're done with that, there's a leak in the roof you can look at." Stan's gruff voice rang out through the gift shop as he and Soos entered.

"On it, boss," Soos saluted Stan before approaching the checkout desk, "What's up dudes?"

"Hey Soos," you pretended not to notice Stan behind him, "do you know who's in charge of HR here? Is it you?" You felt a little bad roping the ever-innocent Soos into your mischief, but the suddenly panicked look on Stan's face was worth it.

Soos began to repond, "Gee, I guess I've been here the longest, so--"

Stan cut him off, nudging Soos to the side and placing his palms on the counter. He leaned close and said, "You're lookin' at HR." He squinted his eyes suspiciously, "Why d'ya ask?"

"Oh its nothing, just" you put on your best poker face and shrugged, "maybe I need to report some inappropriate behavior."

Wendy hid her face in her comic book to stop herself from laughing, but poor Soos looked very concerned. You prayed Wendy had the heart to explain the ruse to him once you and Stan were out of the room. At your words, Stan just sighed and gestered toward his office.

Once inside, he removed his fez, sat on the edge of the desk, and rubbed the bridge of his nose under his glasses, "Look, doll, I'll be straight with you. You do good work, but Wendy 'n Soos have been here a whole lot longer and I have a hard time believing either of them would--"

"My issue isn't with them." You crossed your arms and he raised an eyebrow at you as you continued, "I should slap you, the way you gawk at me all day. And all those pet names? You must think I'm stupid."

Stan didn't look as shocked as you'd hoped. Instead he chuckled with the corner of his mouth and got to his feet.

"Wouldn't be the first time." He said. His arms hung at his sides. He closed his eyes and turned his head. His shoulders and neck tensed and he braced for the impact.

Suddenly your palms were sweaty, you hadn't expected this. Was he actually going to let you slap him?

After a moment, he partially opened one eye, "Well, get it over with already."

"Mr. Pines... I'm not gonna slap you."

His body relaxed and he shrugged, "I 'preciate that, but I'm pretty sure I deserve it this time."

You smirked at him, "I won't slap you, but only because I'm afraid you'd like it."

Stan chuckled a bit, but you could tell you'd flustered him. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the floor.

"Look doll--" he coughed, catching himself, "look, I'm sorry if I made ya uncomfortable, I promise I'll stop. But, if you could just keep this between us..."

"An apology isn't good enough. I'd hate to see your good reputation ruined, Mr. Pines."

Stan sighed and headed for the chair behind his desk. As he sat down he muttered, "Figured. You always were a fiesty one." He started rummaging through a drawer in the desk.

"Alright, what do ya want, a raise?" He pulled out the paperwork he was looking for and slid it towards you. You just shook your head at him.

Defeated, he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"Okay, this aint the first time I've been blackmailed. What'll buy your silence?"

At this point you couldn't hide your smile. You approached the desk and leaned over, your low-cut top perfectly showing off your cleavage in front of him. His eyes darted to the corner of the ceiling and he swallowed.

"Stan," it was the first time you'd ever used his first name in front of him, "we both know what I really want isn't silence."

He stole a few quick glances at you before studying the ceiling again. "What's your point?"

"I want you to take me out to dinner."

He did a touble-take and sat straight up in his chair, "Come again?"

"I like the attention, Stan," you laughed at him, "but I wasn't gonna give you what you wanted without a good scare first." You shot him a wink across the desk.

Stan's cheeks flooded pink, he was speechless.

You prodded him, "Well, did I? Scare you?"

Stan dramatically clutched his chest, "Ya nearly put me in an early grave, doll."

He stood and moved back to your side of the desk with a chuckle. "Was Wendy in on this?"

"Oh, of course."

With one arm, Stan grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into him, looking deeply into your eyes, "You make a pretty good con, y'know." His free hand found its way to your jaw and he pulled you into an energetic kiss that lasted several wonderful seconds.

As he pulled away, you flashed him a devilish smile, "I learned from the best."

I'm not the most proud of this fic, quality-wise, but it's been sitting finished in my drafts so I might as well post it. I will say this is not very ethical but it's just meant to be a fun story, don't take it too seriously

#gravity falls #stanley pines #grunkle stan #fanfic #stan x reader

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strawberryshortcake1495 · 1 month ago

Text

The weird GF dream I had

So in this dream I was this Russian girl named Ashlyn who kinda looked like Wendy but my hair was more orange and in this giant ponytail. Anyways, Dipper and Mabel discovered that the closet in the Mystery Shack was a portal to MY school. Which was weird, but Mabel thought it was pretty cool. She’d often hop on over and was super nice to me.

So one day, the twins were messing around and accidentally summoned this white spider-looking creature. Idk why, but it was super horrifying. I was all the way in Russia, ditching class when the creature burst out of the portal and chased after me. It was genuinely so terrifying. But I opened the door to my classroom and hid behind it as the creature mauled my poor teacher. Once it was busy killing everyone, I literally ran for my life to the portal. I was so exhausted, but I made it to the Mystery Shack anyways.

I guess I just started living there, for some reason?? My ponytail turned into two long braids and I’d often just be hanging out with the twins without a care in the world. Like, wtf happened to my parents??? Also, it was implied that one of the twins had feelings for me. Wendy thought it was Dipper because I looked similar to her, but it was actually Mabel. So yeah, that’s it. What an adventure.

#gravity falls #dipper pines #mabel pines #gravity falls au #weird dreams #does ashlyn count as an oc?#i guess

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silver-ace-of-spades · 19 days ago

Text

Silly Mario Incorrect Quotes From The Generator (Oops! All Koopalings (and Jr))

♤◇♧♤

*when a child starts crying in public*

Iggy: *tries to make the child laugh*

Lemmy: *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

Morton: *gives instructions to the parents*

Junior: *cries with the child*

Wendy: *ignores the child*

Ludwig: *is the reason why the child is crying*

●●●

13-year-old Ludwig, when Junior was 4: You say “Please” and “Thank you” in front of Junior all the time, and he never repeats it.

Ludwig: But you call Roy “Ass-faced motherfucker” ONE TIME…

●●●

Larry: But what about Junior?

Ludwig: Don't worry about him.

Ludwig: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.

●●●

Wendy: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

●●●

Iggy: *nudges Ludwig at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Ludwig? Wake up, Ludwig! Listen! They're sexless!

Ludwig: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.

●●●

Roy: Today, Junior said a swear word, so Ludwig said that he was going to wash Junior's mouth out with soap. Junior replied, “It’s okay, I like the taste of soap”. Turns out, he's been putting soap on his lips to blow bubbles.

●●●

Lemmy: Help! I’m drowning!

Roy: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water!

Lemmy: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

●●●

Iggy: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet.

Ludwig: Why’d you get banned?

Iggy: Touched the rat.

Ludwig: … What rat?

Iggy: Chunky Cheese.

●●●

Junior, jumping out of Ludwig's closet: BOO!

Ludwig:

Junior:

Ludwig:

Junior: *makes a sad face*

Ludwig: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!

●●●

Larry: I need a long word.

Morton: T-rex but the long one.

●●●

Larry: Wendy, I’m afraid.

Wendy: Just stay close to Iggy.

Larry: That's why I’m afraid.

●●●

Iggy: Yo dumbass, get over here.

Lemmy: Okay-

Morton: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!

Lemmy, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

●●●

Larry: Iggy isn’t answering my messages.

Lemmy: Allow me.

Larry: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Iggy: *replying to message* Hello.

●●●

Roy: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.

Ludwig: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue.

Roy: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

●●●

Iggy: What are your adjectives?

Wendy: …You mean my pronouns?

Iggy: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives?

Wendy: …I dunno. What are yours?

Iggy: Noisy and chaotic!

Wendy: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

●●●

Morton: Baby vibes... hold gentle... like hamburger.

Roy: Punt like football.

●●●

Iggy: Two truths and a lie, I’ll start!

Iggy: I’ve killed a man, I will kill again, and it burns when I pee.

Ludwig, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t like this game.

●●●

Wendy: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.

Ludwig: Fucking Lemmy and Iggy were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

●●●

Roy or Wendy: I will be using so much pink you’ll be seeing green by the end from sensory deprivation.

●●●

Wendy: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?

Larry: No.

Ludwig: No.

Wendy: Didn't think so.

●●●

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Iggy, with Morton and Lemmy behind him: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

Iggy: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

Iggy: Junior FUCKING FELL OFF!

●●●

Junior, holding out a cookie for Ludwig: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you!

Ludwig: *Ugly crying*

Junior, holding out another cookie for Lemmy: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you!

Lemmy, throwing his hands in the air: What does that mean?!

●●●

Ludwig: So, Lemmy is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Roy: Why?

Ludwig: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Lemmy, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

●●●

Roy: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies?

Iggy: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials.

Lemmy: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby.

Larry: Rock also defeats baby.

●●●

Junior: I'm very scary.

Roy: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.

Junior: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.

Roy: And small.

Junior:

Junior: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

●●●

Ludwig, to the rest of the Koopalings: None of you know what propaganda is, do you?

Roy: I think it’s when a British person takes a good look at something.

●●●

Junior: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Roy.

●●●

Wendy: My diamond earring came off in the ocean and it's gone!

Junior: Wendy, there's people that are dying.

●●●

Morton: When I get Doordash I order 20 Cheeseburgers at a time and heat them up throughout the week so that I don’t have to pay the delivery fee multiple times.

Wendy: I hope you understand how food poisoning works.

Morton: I hope food poisoning understands how I work. I never met a burger I couldn’t eat.

●●●

Iggy, having recently lost his glasses: KILL THE BUG!!!

Larry: ....That’s a gecko—

●●●

Ludwig: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Roy: All I drank was Redbull!

Ludwig: How many?

Roy: Eighteen.

●●●

Lemmy: honk.

Ludwig: WHAT.

Lemmy: HONK.

Ludwig: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

●●●

Morton: *coughs blood*

Iggy: Don't die, Morton!

Morton: Don't tell me what to do!

●●●

Lemmy, skipping rocks on a lake with Iggy: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Iggy: Yeah, it is.

Iggy: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

●●●

Ludwig: You shouldn't be using a straw.

Roy: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.

Ludwig: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.

●●●

Ludwig: Junior, please calm down.

Junior: I asked for two large fries!

Junior: *dumps fries onto table*

Junior: But all they did was give me a MILLION FREAKING LITTLE ONES!

●●●

Junior: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Wendy, used to Junior being dumb: Sure...

Junior: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Wendy: Okay?

Junior: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Wendy:

Junior: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Wendy: Jesus, that one is a little-

Morton, interested: No, no, Junior, keep going.

●●●

Roy: Coca Cola is a health potion, Pepsi is a mana potion.

Larry: What’s grape soda?

Roy: It’s fucking purple baby!!!

●●●

Ludwig: What’s your favorite color?

Roy: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.

Ludwig: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

Roy: My favorite color is pink.

●●●

Morton: *makes Junior a cup of tea but accidentally puts salt in it*

Junior: *sips tea*

Morton:

Junior: *finishes tea*

Morton: Didn't it taste bad?

Junior: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Morton, tearing up: Oh, okay.

●●●

Roy: I can't believe you've done this.....

Larry: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Roy, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

●●●

Ludwig: This is a bad idea.

Lemmy: Then why are you coming along?

Ludwig: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

●●●

Roy, in a horrible German accent: Bill Nye is on break, I'm Bill Nein.

Lemmy: Can I go to the bathroom?

Roy, in the same horrible German accent: Nein!

●●●

Wendy: *Turns on the kitchen light*

Iggy: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Wendy: It’s four in the morning.

Iggy: Turn the light back off.

●●●

Iggy: So Junior, how did your first time cooking dinner go?

Junior: Pretty good if I do say so myself.

Iggy: Ooh! Okay, what are we having?

Junior: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.

Iggy: A whole potato?

Junior: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!

Iggy: These just look like big slabs of black.

Junior: Because that's what they are!

Junior: And then for desert, we have chocolate.

Iggy: These are just chocolate chips?

Junior: They sure are!

Junior: And then for drinks, we have toast!

Junior: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetit!

●●●

Larry: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.

Ludwig: Actually Larry, it’s salt.

Larry: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.

Ludwig: Uh Larry, that would be salt.

Ludwig: *takes salt packer from Larry* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

●●●

Lemmy: I'm having problems with a guy...

Wendy: Like his dead body won't fit into your trunk kind of problems, or you like him kind of problems?

●●●

Ludwig: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

●●●

Junior: What the frick.

Junior: ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship.

Junior: Who the heck watches jump rope competiti- ooh bouncy.

●●●

Lemmy: Iggy just insisted Morton and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by his clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real him and which is the imposter.

Lemmy: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

●●●

Wendy: I’m not like other girls. I’m way, way worse.

●●●

Iggy, watching a TV show about Luigi: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

Larry: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

●●●

Roy: Can I borrow five dollars?

Ludwig: If you’re only borrowing it, does that mean you’ll pay me back?

Roy: Of course.

Roy: Not directly, but with my love and affection.

Ludwig: So that’s a no.

●●●

Junior: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.

Ludwig: That is not something you actually have installed.

Junior: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

●●●

Wendy: What did you two do?

Iggy:

Lemmy:

Wendy: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

●●●

Ludwig: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin

Larry: What the fuck? Begets isn't a word. Quit trying to make up words, fuckface.

●●●

Wendy: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Larry : Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging.

Morton: Waking up in the morning.

Roy: Waking up.

Ludwig: Waking up in the morning...

Ludwig: And seeing Iggy.

Iggy: Hey! Rude!!

●●●

Ludwig: What do you all intend on majoring in?

Morton: Respecting women.

Larry: Minecraft.

Wendy: Criminal justice and psychology.

Iggy: I'm terrified that I’ll lock myself into an interest that I’ll no longer be passionate about in a few years like all the other areas of study I’ve pursued over my life!

Lemmy: Minecraft as well.

●●●

Lemmy: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

●●●

Junior, to Bowser: Ludwig called me the b-word!

Ludwig: "Motherfucker" doesn't begin with b.

●●●

Junior: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

Roy: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Junior:

Junior: *sobs*

Morton: You fucking scared him, you idiot.

●●●

Ludwig: Have I ever told you that you cook well?

Junior: Awww, no, you haven't!

Ludwig: So why do you keep cooking?

●●●

Roy: We all have our demons.

Iggy, grabbing Lemmy: This one’s mine!

●●●

Wendy: *sighs*

Morton: You bored?

Wendy: Yeah.

Morton: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Wendy: I thought you’d never ask.

●●●

Ludwig: If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.

●●●

Junior: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Dad made me get tested.

●●●

Ludwig: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

●●●

Ludwig: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

●●●

Iggy: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

●●●

Iggy: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.

Lemmy: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

●●●

Iggy: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog".

Ludwig: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?

●●●

Ludwig: Lemmy, if you don't shut up I'm going to throw myself out of the car.

*click*

Ludwig: DID YOU JUST TURN THE FUCKING CHILDRENS' LOCK ON?!

●●●

Roy: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*

Roy: Oh my god, is this expired?

Roy: *Takes another sip of milk*

●●●

Iggy: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

●●●

Ludwig: Stop thinking whatever you're thinking.

Lemmy: Huh?

Ludwig: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid just to piss me off. So cut it out-

Lemmy: I love you.

Ludwig:

Lemmy:

Lemmy: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup.

Ludwig: I KNEW IT!!

●●●

Iggy, near tears: Please, Junior, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

●●●

*Lemmy shoots a gun in the lounge room while Ludwig is chilling*

Ludwig: This is why Dad doesn’t FUCKING love you!

*Lemmy runs off while snickering*

●●●

Roy: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Dad’*

Ludwig: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

●●●

Roy: Ludwig? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry?

Ludwig: Roy, I swear to god—

●●●

Wendy: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch".

Junior: I see you're passing on your name.

●●●

Ludwig: You’re giving me a sticker?

Iggy: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Ludwig: I’m not a preschooler.

Iggy: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Ludwig: I earned this, back off!

●●●

Ludwig, texting: Answer your phone

Larry, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone

Ludwig: Understood

Ludwig, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Larry.

●●●

*The Koopalings are playing Chess*

Ludwig: *easily beats everyone because he knows how to play*

Iggy: *doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway*

Lemmy: *doesn’t know the rules, and loses*

Wendy: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don’t*

Roy and Junior: Actually, you can’t do that, because I said so.

Larry and Morton: They named a board game after cheese?

●●●

Iggy: Inside you, there are two kidneys.

Iggy: I’m gonna steal them.

●●●

Ludwig: When I was your age-

Iggy, mocking Ludwig: When I was your height.

Ludwig:

Ludwig: Listen here you little shit-

●●●

Iggy: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

●●●

Lemmy: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!

Ludwig: Lemmy, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

Lemmy: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

Wendy: ...It was a bug.

Lemmy: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

Ludwig: ...

Wendy: ...

Lemmy: Stop looking at me like that!

●●●

Ludwig: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Larry: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

●●●

Roy: Are you okay?

Junior, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Roy: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Junior?

●●●

Morton (5 years in the future): What are you drinking?

Iggy (now 19): Vodka.

Morton: Straight?

Iggy: No, gay. Why?

●●●

Roy: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on himself*

●●●

Wendy: You read my diary?

Iggy: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

●●●

Lemmy: I told Junior to grab snacks for everyone.

Ludwig, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?

*Lemmy, Junior, and Larry raise their hands*

●●●

Iggy: Today at 7 am, Roy poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Larry: I watched Roy brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm.

Ludwig: The survivability of Koopas never fails to amaze me.

●●●

Wendy: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Iggy: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Junior: Why were you microwaving a lemon???

Iggy: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Larry: Did you burn an orange too? How???

●●●

Iggy: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

●●●

Roy, some time after turning 18: I am a responsible adult!

Larry, now a teenager: *raises brow*

Roy: I am an adult.

Junior: Hey, you wanna know a secret?

Wendy: No.

Junior: Okay.

Wendy:

Wendy: Do you smell smoke?

Junior: The secret is that the house is on fire.

●●●

Roy: Damn, the power went out.

Junior: Don’t worry, I got this.

Junior: *stomps foot*

Roy: What-?

Junior: *Sketchers light up*

●●●

Ludwig: *bites lip* Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?

Cop: That isn’t gonna work, hands behind your back.

●●●

Iggy: *chokes on something*

Morton: Jeez, Iggy, don't die on us.

Iggy: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

●●●

Larry: Good. Thanks, dad.

Junior: You just called Ludwig “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Larry: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Ludwig: Do you see me as a father figure, Larry?

Larry: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Wendy: Hey! Show your father some respect!

●●●

Larry: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

●●●

Roy: Guess what number I’m thinking of.

Ludwig: 420?

Roy: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.

Lemmy: 69.

Roy: Yeah it was 69.

●●●

Wendy: What kinds of sounds annoy you?

Iggy: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

Wendy, now interested: Lets say imaginary.

Iggy: Spiders wearing flip flops.

●●●

*The Koopalings are at Home Depot*

Junior: *Fell in the cacti display while wandering around the garden section*

Iggy: *Shitting in the display toilets*

Morton and Larry: *Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles*

Wendy: *Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes*

Ludwig: *Just wanted some goddamn lightbulbs and everyone ruined it*

Roy and Lemmy: *In the car sleeping*

●●●

Ludwig, at Bowser's wedding: What the hell were you thinking?

Lemmy: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!

Ludwig: You released OSTRICHES!

●●●

*at a zoo*

Junior: What are they in for?

Wendy: Junior, this isn't prison.

Junior: So they can leave?

Wendy: No, but-

Junior, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

●●●

Lemmy: iuegrukfhoeuhfeoruhf

Ludwig: What is that?

Lemmy: it’s a keyboard smash

Ludwig: How do I do it?

Lemmy: just press anything

Ludwig: 7

●●●

Junior: Get your hand off my shield!

Wendy: There's like a million other shields.

Junior: Take that one, it has a flower on it. Girls like flowers.

Wendy: *hits Junior with the shield* Oops! Now this one has blood on it.

●●●

Roy: How would you like your coffee?

Junior: As dark as my soul.

Roy: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

●●●

Roy: *casually taking four stairs at a time*

Junior, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

●●●

Wendy: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Junior: Put spaghetti in it.

Wendy: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Larry: Put spaghetti in it.

Wendy: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Roy: Put spaghetti in it.

Wendy: I am no longer taking suggestions.

#spade yells into the void #a whole bunch of bastards #koopalings #bowser jr #larry koopa #morton koopa jr #wendy o koopa #iggy koopa #happy iggy friday btw #roy koopa #lemmy koopa #ludwig von koopa #incorrect quotes #the koopalings #very long post #swearing tw #and lots of it #incorrect mario quotes

15 notes · View notes

weridpersonhelp · 2 years ago

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CASABONITA PT1

Description: Kyle invites Y/n to Casa Bonita, and muck around.

warning; Swearing, fluffy. cartman being cartman. not been proof read

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"Hey Y/n."

"Oh, hey Kyle! how are you doing?" Y/n asks him, somehow Y/n always manages to make Kyle smile.

"Pretty good actually, I aced my math test and cartman hasn't made and well I have awesome news!" Y/n chuckles a little at him, her smile made his smile. bigger.

"Nice job, mine's tomorrow. what's this awesome news?" She starts walking Kyle follows her lead.

"Well, my birthday this weekend on Saturday and my mum said I could take 4 friends to Casa Bonita! and well... I wanted to invite you! that is if you want too." Y/n gasps slightly she stops in the middle of walking.

"REALLY! THATS SO COOL!"

"Wait so you'll come?!" Y/n hugs Kyle happily he was a bit taken back he felt Awkard and didn't want people to see, but he still enjoyed it.

"Yes of course I'm going! is there anything you want for your birthday then?" she asks pully away from him, he missed her warmth already.

"What? Oh, you don't need to get me anything!" Y/n rolls her eyes at the boy playfully.

"Okay, okay I won't get anything. but what have you been interested in lately?" Now it was Kyles turn to playfully roll his eyes at the girl they both chuckle.

"Wait who else is coming."

"Oh, stan, Kenny and butters this Saturday at 5:30"

"No cartman? she asks.

" What no, why would I invite that asshole?" he raises his voice at even the thought of it. she chuckles at the boy's anger calming him down instantly as she pats his back.

"Good, I was worried for a moment you'd let that guy come on your special day." the two continued to talk as they entered the dining hall and walked up to chef.

"Hey Kyle oh I see you made a new friend here."

"Oh yes this is Y/n " Kyle says.

"Hi chef it's nice it be properly introduced."

"Nice to meet you too Y/n now what can I get you love birds- I mean friends." Chefs give Kyle a wink.

"Chicken nuggets with fries please!"

"Chicken nuggets with fries please!" the two say at the same time.

"Jinx! now you can't talk till I say your name three times!"

"Haha, she got you there! Kyle, anyway here's your food ids. Rember to let him go of that jinx before his birthday now Y/n." Chef says they both leave, but Kyle was playfully glaring at her slightly.

"What? do you want me to say your name?" the boy nods furiously almost flipping his hat off.

"Oh, hey guys, what's up?" stan asks them.

"Hey stan, nothing much." Kyle stays quiet and stand rises an eyebrow.

"what's up with Kyle?"

"Oh Kyle? well Kyle here just got jinx and I need to say his name three times until he is unjinxed or he gets bad luck." at this Cartman laughs at Kyle.

"s-" "you can't talk dude unless you want bad luck," stan says Kyle gives the girl a glare and she rolls her. eyes.

"Fine as your birthday present, I'll unjinx you Kyle-" "SHUT YOUR MOUTH FATASS!" Kyle shouts at cartman.

"Y/n come on already, bebe showing us her new nails!" Wendy pop in out of no were.

"oh, hi stan!"

"Hi Wendy."

"Okay, okay, I'll talk to guys later. bye!"

"Bye Y/n!" Kyle says waving the girl goodbye.

"Dude you're so red-" "oooh KYLE BLUSHING!"

"SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU!"

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yall want part 2? where they acutally go? or

#kyle broflovski x reader #cartman #south park x reader #kyle brovlofski #south park #kyle x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #casa bonita #south park x y/n #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #eric cartman

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boasamishipper · 3 months ago

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notes from the nnc s3e1 taping

so back in july hannah @bornforastorm and i went to the taping of the new night court season 3 premiere!!! to the best of my memory, here's what went down:

[spoilers below the cut]

pre show:

taping was on stage 10 of the warner bros lot

hannah and i got there early (as instructed) and were pretty much the only ones in attendance who had actually seen og night court (majority of ppl knew melissa rauch from big bang theory)

which is also wild to me by the way?? why would you go to a taping of a show you have never watched??

anyway

we chatted with a very nice belgian lady and a nice australian couple who had been traveling across the country for the last few months (they gave us mini kangaroo pins)

we were not allowed to have our phones on us (alas) or i would have taken a million pictures

new night court set looks a lot more grimy in person?? which i was surprised by because on tv the show looks so much cleaner than the original did. guess that's due to lighting and whatever goes down in postproduction

hannah and i were one of the first ones in line to go into the studio (we all but shoved our way to the front) and got to sit in the second row

they had a magician named mark sweet who warmed the crowd up with very delightful magic tricks (iirc he was also the opening act for tbbt tapings which is how he got this gig)

from where hannah and i were sitting we had a great view of the courtroom set. abby's chambers set and the cafeteria set and the hospital set were more difficult to see

they played a Here's What Happened So Far On Night Court recap for us to which hannah and i were like [ron swanson voice] we know more than you

when larroquette came out for the curtain call opening my vision whited out and i screamed like a maniac

larroquette was very tall and waved cutely and did a peace sign and applauded for melissa and no one else

hannah and i were more insane about that old man than anyone in the whole studio audience

abby's dream sequence scene + julianne's arrival scene:

abby's dream sequence was filmed a previous day; we watched that on tv (it already had the laugh track added)

on the first take of this scene when julianne showed up larroquette did a classic Dan Fielding Yelp and Jumped and hid behind flobert and it was magical to see

this would continue for the rest of the night but on every single take larroquette did something different and it was equally hilarious every time. that man knows how to read a crowd

they told us straight up not to applaud when wendie malick came in as not to distract the actors (or something?? can't remember the reason but i knew she was going to be there so i was not surprised)

gurgslivia canon confirmed (gurgs changed clothes in front of her)

flobert in a wig boston legal reference!!!

when talking about the new prosecutor larroquette did a take where he made an explicit reference to the OG night court pilot (alas i did not write down what it was)

larroquette had to bend down so the makeup people could touch his face up and spritz his hair

larroquette does this little shimmy every time before he gets into character as dan and it's great

great is not a strong enough word actually. seeing him transform into dan fielding before my very eyes was a spiritual experience. i heard colors and smelled sounds.

actors who flubbed the most lines: wendie malick

actors having the most fun with different line readings: larroquette and lacretta and also gary anthony williams

abby's chambers scene:

alternate dan lines: ‘Juicy little mouse’ ‘Juicy little spring lamb’

alternate dan lines: ‘crocheting a shank’ with hand gesture

fantastic line reading: ‘macrame net’

alternate dan lines: ‘chicken feet’ ‘cat brains’ ‘wrestling alligators’ (then that again but in a more southern accent so it was like 'wrasslin gators')

the cheeto bag julianne was holding exploded on the first take but larroquette went with it like a pro

larroquette did extremely hilarious line readings of That’s A Lie every single time

again wendie malick flubbed a lot of lines but she was a champ and got through it

melissa rauch had a lot of fun with the physical comedy in this scene

hospital scene:

julia duffy had soooo much fun slapping melissa rauch

hannah and i SCREAMED when julia duffy implied harry was the father (which i predicted IN MARCH AHAHAHA)

literally i was CLUTCHING hannah's hand. we were losing it

the nice australian couple behind us: .......glad you two are......having fun

melissa rauch once again had fun with the physical comedy

final courtroom scene:

took the longest to film

solid line reading of ‘a scarf with metaphorical strings attached’

some lines were not working during this scene so the writers rewrote them on the spot (and they did not notice my attempt to subliminally get them to hire me for the writers room)

lacretta and nyambi had so much fun during the julianne 'reveal'

when gary anthony williams was dumping the flobert pics out of the bag on one take they got stuck and wouldn't come out and his reaction was very funny

misc:

taping was about four hours long and we were given pizza around the midpoint

saw larroquette chatting with wendie during the breaks very cutely

larroquette swore ‘god damn it’ when he flubbed a line (very rare, he was the best of everyone)

larroquette didn't mix much with the cast other than wendie and melissa

larroquette has a book that he carries his scripts in and it looks leather bound and has a ribbon he uses to mark pages (possibly he has this for every script??)

when larroquette reads dan’s lines while he's rehearsing, he reads them with dan’s scrunched up facial expressions and does dan’s mannerisms (dannerisms??)

phill lewis (director of the ep) came up to the audience at one point and asked if there were any fans of suite life and did the ‘no running in my lobby!!!’ line in moseby’s voice and i shrieked about it

melissa rauch also came up to the audience and said hello and she was very charming

ren bell dialogue coach is hot as fuck

dan rubin was apparently there but we couldn’t see him

larroquette left immediately after curtain call (he does his job gets that paycheck and goes home god bless)

larroquette looked sooooo good in that suit

they filmed some scenes the day before our taping (dream sequence + cafeteria scene) and added a laugh track to them?? but then played them for us so our laughs would be dubbed over the laugh track?? no clue how that works

from what we saw the writers seem to be all relatively young, 20s and 30s (we gotta get more older writers in there for john’s sake)

the best non larroquette actors are easily lacretta and gary anthony williams (who is so funny and needs to be a series regular asap)

wendie malick flubbed a lot of her lines but she is apparently new to filming in front of an audience and she seemed very charming and funny; there were vips in the audience who were friends of hers and she came up and said hi to them

speaking of vips the perks they get include getting to keep their phones on them, being more likely to win prizes from the opening act magician (more on that below), and getting to hang with the actors after the show

melissa rauch impressed me, i think she is really settling into this role and i am excited to see what she does with abby this season

after they had to stop a take bc someone flubbed a line larroquette said something bitchy-funny (‘this is what happens when you-‘) but we couldn’t hear the rest of it

larroquette was doing all the physical comedy his 76 year old self was willing to do and he was amazing

overall seems to be a tight crew and cast god bless

in between takes mark sweet the magician would entertain us and also offered us the chance to win night court merch in exchange for us doing silly things. and at one point mark sweet was giving away signed copies of the script to anyone who had a special talent. so i came up and he had someone from the front row be my assistant. so i said to my assistant okay close your eyes. now reach your left hand out and grab the folder with the scripts out of mark sweet's hand.

i was shameless and got what i wanted :)

anyway overall incredible experience. i came out of there beaming like the joker and with enough energy to pick up a car and throw it five hundred yards. were it not for the laws of this land (aka me living in wisconsin) i would go to tapings every single week.

#night court #new night court #personal #beautiful mutuals #had so much fun that weekend!! got to see my dear friend hannah in person and also my beloved larroquette in action

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0pawprint0 · 6 months ago

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All the autographs I got! The only person on my list I didn’t get was Matthew. His lines were long throughout the whole con. But I got a picture with him and he complimented my Shaggy cosplay, so I still consider it a win! He was super kind.

The Hazbin gang were all so sweet and talking to them was so much fun! They all seemed to love my Sir Pentious cosplay! Erika even asked for a pic to show Alex. He didn’t respond while I was there, but he’s a very busy person, so I get it completely ^^

I nearly cried when I got to meet Rob. I have looked up to him for so long and it was so amazing to finally meet him. He was as wonderful as you’d expect. It was super hard to choose which poster for him to sign because he plays so many characters I love. I ended up picking Donnie because TMNT 2012 is my favorite version and I never see anything for it. I was telling him about how even some of his super specific roles like Eric from The Little Mermaid 2 have stuck with me and he gave me a hug! He also addressed me in Donnie’s voice and knew how to spell my name without me even needing to tell him! Most people don’t spell it right. He also complimented my cosplay and asked me how to make it and everything (I was Sir Pentious that day). It was such a good time. I would talk with him all day if I could. I unfortunately didn’t get a picture with him because I didn’t have enough money (things tend to go wrong when I’m trying to save money and I had to pay to fix some things the month before fhfhfhdn). But I’m hoping to see him again one day and next time I will get a picture!

Grey was so fun to talk to! She actually had her hair put up with a pin to look like Azula (Avatar: The Last Airbender), another character she plays. She excitedly addressed me as Shaggy (the cosplay I was wearing that day), telling my sister and I to "throw Scooby Snacks at any monsters you see!" and told us not to unmask anyone :’) she’s so silly and fun I love herrr! She gave us a hug, too! Frank was super nice and loved the poster my sister brought for him to sign (she got it from an artist at the con) and he even did Scooby’s voice to us!

My sister is a big fan of Cameron Monaghan, so we went to his panel. She was able to get a pic and autograph with him, too! I don’t have the pictures with her because I don’t think she’d want me to post her face here lol.

I didn’t get an autograph from him because of money, but I also got to meet Johnny Yong Bosch! He’s most known for Ichigo from Bleach, but what I was excited for was talking to him about Danganronpa (he is Hajime and Rantaro)!

This is my haul I got from comic con (excluding the things that came with my ticket). I did, indeed, come home with 4 Miku figures. But one was free! Because at that booth it was buy 2, get 1 free.

I also got a Neighthan Rot doll for fairly cheap (they go as high as $70 online). Tbh a Monster High doll is the last thing I expected to get at a con, but I’m pretty down with it lol. Especially because it’s in great condition and still had his journal!

For the Harry Potter sticker and pin, we got those for free at a free Harry Potter trivia we went to because HP is my sister’s favorite book series. She also won a book she doesn’t have! It was like a Dumbledore side story (note: neither of us support or like Rowling as a person. She did not get any money out of us, as this was free).

The mushroom sticker was given to me by an artist as I passed their table! Their info is there on the sticker if you’re interested in their work!

The stickerssss! They make me so happy. There was so many more this artist had that I wanted, but I didn’t have the money for it, unfortunately. I got Ciel, Sebastian, Grell, and Undertaker (Black Butler), Bill, Stan, Wendy, Dipper, Mabel, and Waddles (Gravity Falls - they didn’t have Soos or Ford rip), Craig and Tweek (South Park), Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel), Stolas (Helluva Boss), Rampo (Bungou Stray Dogs), and Amaimon (Blue Exorcist).

This stuff came with my ticket! I LOVE the poster!

I didn’t get these, but I thought they were really funny.

Post 2/2

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grubcakes · 30 days ago

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what's your relationship like with all the other koopalings, since you're dating their biggest brother? did it take any of them a bit to warm up to you?

EEK HI♡!!! im sorry i ddint reply to this sooner i answered it halfway and then tumblr glitched and deleted it so i got mad and ignored it .YAYYY

Overall they all are fine with me which is good!!! but it did take a few of them a while to warm up to me, which is okie,, and understandable :3 im.trying to remember what i originally wrote wahh.

It took Roy a second to get warmed up to me because she knows Ludwig doesn't typically like people (but, all the siblings know that ... Roy just cares the most about it i suppose!!) I was a little intimidated by her at first but we did eventually start talking and I found out she was also mildly intimidated by me ,, apparently i have a scary resting face ,, i dont mean to be spooky,.., We are chill now .. We play guitar together sometimes

Morton was and is still very. . silent-y .... I can tell he's much more protective over the family as a whole so he's more wary. not much of a talker to me, but I think I like it that way!!! He's very good to parallel-play with. I am getting on his good side via sweets cuz baking is fun,, and i Can tell its working cuz he showed me his two cats... he likes cats. i think thats very cutesy!!!!

Lemmy was more playfully-skeptical of me than anything.. not like... malicious or nothin .. yeah. I like lemmy!!! i like clowns and so do they and they're jealous of my vintage clown collection which i find very amusing. but i am jealous of their clown attire collection so thats less amusing. i will out-clown that fifteen year old. trust they will be dealt with

Iggy .... was interesting. and Interested. Very interested . I understand why I guess seeing as my species (still unnamed PLEASEE HELP.... I NEED NAME IDEAS FOR SPECIES!!!) doesn't really 'exist' outside of my Kingdom but he um. yeah. He likes to. poke.... and pry and prod and Iggy get your Finger OUT OF MY FACE!!!!! (/ref) I think he's ... interesting. I would love to actually get to talk to him like a person without him asking what my blood type is or whether or not i am allergic to titanium. I would prefer to not get experimented on anymore thank you,. I'm glad they put more air vents into his lab. Those fumes really messed him up and in turn messed ME up.

Larry was pretty indifferent toward me at first. He didnt go out of his way to talk to me or anything but would say hi to me if i passed him... occasional little smile n shit... and then i had my little hallway moment (fic stuff) and since then weve been talking more and playing games n stuff!!! We share music recs from time to time. . hes good at cooking mama. too good. he will have to be humbled. Larry when i get you Larry

Wendy was suspicious of me at first.. she knew there was more to me than wnat i let on. She knew. Like ... she KNEW. When she invited me for that weird sleepover she and the other princesses I was with were all talking about it. This was like. . WAY before Ludwig and I were even dating.,., but she KNEW. She just has that sense I guess.,, She helped me out of a meltdown a while ago too so that was nice. shes fun to talk to... and we go thrifting together heehee YAYYYY!!!

Junior likes to be a dick to me but I know he likes me. We also play games together and sometimes i let him draw with me. i can tell he wants to get better at doodling so ive been indirectly giving him tips.... That's my son now. Eat shit Bowser

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plantsandpies · 4 months ago

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Hiiii do you have any headcanons or thoughts on the group of people in Fairy Tail that was left on Tenrou island? Like, stuff they thought of/did during the 7 year gap

I personally think that the people on tenrou were all in a coma-like state, so they could do anything. But people in comas can dream and hear things. So here are a few coma dream/thoughts! (I also am on my phone which means spelling and grammar might be off. Also it’s 3am. Please excuse any misspellings my phone missed.)

Natsu:

I’d like to think of something funny for him because, at least his main presented character at the time, wouldn’t have anything too serious, but we know that’s wrong with events later. So I think Mavis’s spell was the first like crack? in his memories as E.N.D/ dead Natsu. Like his dreams are playing with Zeref or some of the hidden dragon slayer memories they mentioned in an episode. Like a very relaxed day where he and the dragon kids are playing around, Anna and Zeref doing whatever they did then. (I have a hard time understanding if they had them actually live with the dragons or it was like daily daycare until the time portal). After tenrou, I think Natsu just disregards them because that didn’t happen. His mind just made it up, so he forgot about them.

Gray: Gray dreams of childhood. But also of his hometown before it was destroyed. One of his dreams was what his life would be like if the town wasn’t attacked. It was pretty peaceful, just sitting in the upper mountains, running the local inn. For a moment, not in the “I’m going to do this” way, he thinks that maybe he’d’ve liked that life more. That he could move to the mountains and just relax. Take a job without the monsters and crazy people. And part of him would love it. But another part him would despise it. Part of the fun of being a wizard is the travel and your guild mates. Gray loves both of those and even though the simple could seem nice, he’s sure he’d feel trapped in it. He later proves this during the year fairytail was disbanded.

Lucy: I think, unlike the others, who dreamt in a more reliving sense, I think Lucy has chats with her mom. i think her dreams were conversations with her mom over tea. She'd tell her mom every story and complain about natsu and happy. Her mom would laugh and comment on how much fun they sounded to be around. when lucy is off of tenrou, she wonders if her mom would actually react that way. if she'd be more worried or more excited than she was. This is all poured out in a letter to her mom.

Erza: I think Erza’s would vary a lot more than the rest of them. Like she’d be relieving a fun moment she had in the tower, hanging out with Simon, and then she’d be at the guild hall fighting with Mira. She’d imagine Jellal and him being happy, excepting his rough life. Maybe a few where they’re together. (Though I think it’s too soon for that, in like comparison to everything that happened in the year of stuff). I think maybe she thought of her mom. Not her real one, but her imagined mom. The people she imagined were her parents when she was younger. I think she’d make up fake childhood memories for herself with a different version of her parents, the ones she needed. I think these dreams were so spread out and constantly different, that Erza had to messily write down what was a memory vs. a dream/wish. Just so she doesn’t embarrass herself about getting her memories mixed up.

Wendy: Wendy is like twelve at this point. I think she dreams of her dragon (who I know the name of but don’t know how to spell it and I’m tired) giving her little wisdoms. I think she’d also get memories of Zeref and Anna, which she never mentions. I also think she’d think about the other guild member’s childhoods and come up with funny stories about them, just because it’s funny. I also think she would relieve her memories too, but her favorites were the weird skits they did in her mind. I think out of all of them, she remembers her dreams the most. She doesn’t meet Zeref until later, so she doesn’t talk about those dreams, and then she feels awkward about having had them and they still get left behind.

I could do more of these, but I’m a bit tired. So I’ll leave it here and maybe come back to it in the morning. I hope when I do everything I wrote made sense.

#fairy tail #fairy tail asks #fairy tail headcanons #headcanon #it’s 3 in the morning #i’m tired #but I like this question #so I’m answering it now #I also want to answer people quickly because I like it when people ask me questions #answered asks

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cringelordofchaos · 7 months ago

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Tolkien Black headcanons !!!!!!

Tw for multiple mentions of getting shot

Non-binary + romantically attracted to girls (based on Tupperware character description), pronouns - he/they

A bit of a Math+physics nerd + one of the best students in class (Cartman canonically cheats off of them on tests sometimes)

Has a really healthy and wholesome relationship with their parents + they sometimes either intentionally or unintentionally embarrass him in front of his friends but all in good fun (think of Ninjago Jay's relationship with Ed and Edna for reference)

Bit of a complicated relationship with Nichole (canon but i forgot in which episode it was said, but Nichole told Cartman that she and Tolkien are having some issues in their relationship? But it's not any of Cartmans business) (though he loves her and they even canonically have a picture of them together in his room)

Best friends with Craig, Clyde's a close second

Already mentioned it in my Craig headcanons posts but before Craig got with Tweek he would joke about proposing to Tolkien in the future so he could live off of their and their parents wealth lmao

Most serious/realistic??? out of Craig's gang

Has a bit more goofy / derpy side but is mostly embarrassed by it

Voice cracks in the future come to be the death of him

TW TRAUMA + POLICE BRUTALITY - is still quite distraught from being shot in the arm by a cop (in South ParQ Vaccination Special? Or was it on The Pandemic Special?) and is still distraught from that time his parents were arrested for no reason (in TFBW, where they also constantly targeted him and treated him (a ten year old child) like a threat), especially since most their childhood, like all the other kids, they were told that cops are their friends they can trust! But now he knows he can't trust them and avoids them whenever possible

Friendly

Canonically likes basketball (I like to imagine they sometimes play with Kyle!)

Favorite colour is purple (NO WAYYYY WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHTTTTTT /s)

Canonically feels out of place sometimes because of their family being rich

Sometimes takes the role of "the mom friend" (idk why. based on vibes. screw me)

Cringe TikTok user (canon 😞)

Not too much of a nerd like his dad

Since they actually hate that their name is Tolkien (cuz they don't like JRR Tolkien's books) maybe they change it in the future? I don't know what to though (but sometimes likes Token better)

Kind of understandably tired of everyone's shit

Wendy once said "I've dated him before, he's really nice!" or something like that sooo I take it as canon

Hates Cartman and has every single right to do so (he threw a rock at their head, shot them, and is just a racist asshole all the fucking time to them 😭😭)

But wait - what I don't understand is that they said "all that dungeons and dragons shit is lame" but in the stick of truth (haven't played it, only saw like 2 scenes in it) they were fully on board with playing fantasy? Like -

"THANK YOU FOR THY MESSAGE, TRAVELER! I SHALL MAKE HASTE TO KUPA KEEP!" - that sounds pretty nerdy to me Tolkien. Maybe they DO like nerdy shit but are just embarrassed to be associated with it???????? Idk I'm starting to get confused. Tolkien hyper fans / analysts if you're out there please help me

Canonically plays bass and still has his bass guitar in his room as shown in TFBW

Good person that usually puts others before themselves (like when Cartman told him to "be the bigger person" and tricked him into going over to him and getting shot by him)(still stands his ground and doesn't let people walk over him)

On southparkstudios.com it was said they're good friends with kenny and share struggles related to income (opposite sides of the same coin) so maybe they hang out sometimes. that'd be kinda cool.

Cat person I've decided though I don't think he cares too much abt the dogs vs cats debate

Gifted + talented kid but sometimes might be a perfectionist with overtly high expectations for themselves???????? Idfk what I'm on dude

Good memory

Likes to roleplay

Can't tell if he prefers fiction or nonfiction cuz of stick of truth but also because of the whole hating his name thing Eufhfhfuufnceucb

Ermmmm i think that's it for now Byeeeee god im so cringe

#sp #south park #tolkien black #token black #sp tolkien #tolkien sp #south park tolkien #tolkien south park #sp token #token sp #south park token #token south park #tw police #tw gun mention #tw violence #south park headcanons

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