#incorrect mario quotes

[briceterry]

Wario: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Peach: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Daisy: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Mario: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Luigi: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

[idiosynchratic-anomalocaris]

Mario: Bowser, will you do me the honour of becoming my brother-in-law? Luigi: Did you just propose to Bowser for me? Mario: WELL, SOMEONE HAD TO!

[raaysa-art]

Super Mario - Incorrect Quotes

Source: @alsfunkyalbum​

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[zootopiathingz]

Mario: why are you crying?

Luigi: oh it’s just the onions.

Mario, aggressively picking up an onion: what the fuck did you say to my brother?!

[pinkiemeowstic89]

Wapeach: Honestly, I'm just so evil, so full of darkness. I feed off the souls of the living, I strike fear into--

Grape: You sleep with a stuffed Yoshi.

Wapeach: He is my SECOND IN COMMAND in my ARMY OF DARKNESS!

(Yeah, this is how I headcanon Wapeach; she wants to be evil, but she's not as greedy as Wario or as inherently obnoxious and cruel as Waluigi, so she can't really do anything SUPER bad)

[brave-little-pauper]

Incorrect Quotes

Rosalina: "You feel love."

Mario: "Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I feel a general unselfish love for just about everybody-"

Rosalina: "No. Romantic love."

Mario: "No. No, I don't-"

Rosalina: [Points to Peach] "For her!"

Mario: "No! That is not-"

DK: [Bursts out laughing]

Source: Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2

[jaybleu25]

Mr. L: "When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying." Luigi: "..." Mr. L: "..." Luigi: "And?" Mr. L: "And you are."

[corruptedbunny-multimuse]

Mario, in Italian: If you don't get out of the Mushroom Kingdom I swear I will-- I'll jump on you! Smithy: Someone tell me what he's saying! What the fuck is he saying?! I don't speak Pizza Hut! (Geno, Peach, and Bowser start laughing.)

[jellyfishinc]

Luigi: *sits up from bed to look at alarm clock* Is it really 1 AM?

Mario: Is it? *sits up from own bed to check* Yeah, I guess it is.

Luigi: *laughs* Well, we should probably go to sleep.

Mario: *long sigh* 'Night, Luigi.

Luigi: Mario.

Mario: *grins* Luigi.

Luigi: *catching on* Mario.

Mario: Maybe our names are our "Okay".

Luigi: *not missing a beat, smile getting bigger* Mario.

[galactic-space]

Mario: oh ma god you so tall you built like a giraffe

Luigi: yea that’s why you built like a bake bean

Mario: a bake be- A BAKE BEAN?!

[shasha-writes-things]

Bowser : Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Luigi: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Peach: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Mario: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Bowser : If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Bowser : Gently taps table Luigi: Taps back Peach: What are they doing? Mario: Morse code. Bowser : Aggressively taps table Luigi: Slams hands down YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Bowser : Screams Luigi: Screams louder to assert dominance Peach: Should we do something?! Mario, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

Bowser : Luigi, I'm sad. Luigi: Holds out arms for a hug It’s going to be okay. Peach: Mario, I'm sad. Mario, nodding: mood.

Bowser , texting Luigi: Luigi! Help I’m being kidnapped Peach: Where are you? Bowser : I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help. Luigi: I’ll call Peach. Peach, answering their cell: Y’ello? Luigi: Where’s Bowser ? They texted me that they were being kidnapped. Peach: Bowser ? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me- Peach: Peach: I’ll call you back. hangs up Peach: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD! Bowser : WHO ARE YOU?!

Bowser : You have to apologize to Luigi Peach: Fine. Peach: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

Bowser : How's the sexiest person here~? Luigi: I don't know, how are they~? Bowser , flustered: I- Peach, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Luigi: So are we flirting right now? Bowser: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU Luigi: That doesn’t answer my question

Luigi: I’m going to take you out Bowser: great, it’s a date! Luigi: I meant that as a threat. Bowser: See you at five!

Luigi: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Bowser: It’s not a joke. Bowser: sniffles Bowser: I’m a legit snack.

Luigi and Bowser skipping stones on lake Luigi: It’s such a beautiful evening. Bowser, whispering: Take that you fucking lake.

Luigi: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them. Bowser: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

Luigi: Bowser was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some. Bowser: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it. Luigi: Bowser, you ate a chair.

Luigi: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars. Bowser: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Luigi: Bowser and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Bowser: Sentences. Luigi: Don't interrupt me.

Luigi, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me Bowser, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

[briceterry]

Daisy: The floor's lava!!!!!

Mario: *helping Luigi onto the table*

Waluigi: *kicks Wario off the sofa*

Rosalina, standing on a chair: There are two types of brothers.

[idiosynchratic-anomalocaris]

Bowser: *drags a confused Luigi to the Metropolitan Museum of Art* Bowser: I'm here to donate a masterpiece!

[raaysa-art]

Super Mario - Incorrect Quotes

Source: @incorrectsmashbrosquotes​

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I’ve forgot how to draw Bowser while drawing the last two pannels

[zootopiathingz]

Kidnapper, on the phone with Luigi: we have Princess Daisy. Give us one million in coins and she will be returned unharmed.

Daisy, in the background: woah, woah, woah! You think I’m only worth one million??

Kidnapper: wait, what-

Daisy: MAKE IT FIFTY!

Luigi: DAISY MY LOVE STOP TALKING!!

[cosmo-production]

mario + rabbids incorrect quotes vol:2

*The Squad is on a hike* RL: It’s beautiful out here. peach: And quiet. RL: Too quiet. peach: Did we lose someone? *cut to edge with a bear in a headlock*

peach: Rabbid luigi is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in their entire life! RM: Never done anything wrong?! They set a city block on FIRE!

mario & RR:*Playing video games* peach: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? mario: *silence* RR: *silence* peach, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you? mario & RR in shame: Yeah...

peach: Okay, what does A stand for? RL: Arson. peach: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? RL: Barson. mario: *laughter* peach: What stands for C? RL: Commit arson. mario: Oooo.  peach: D! RL: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. mario: *more laughter*

RM: We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at luigi’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!

Computer: Please enter a password. Rm: *types in edge* Computer: Your password is too weak. Rm: How f?$$ing DARE YOU-

RP: Yeah, but let's not get too crazy. *The gang proceeds to get arrested for blocking the road in large traffic cone costumes

RM, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY! peach, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

RM: Come on edge, do it for our friendship. You can't put a price on that... edge: Yes I can, 8 dollars.

mario: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? RP: Schrödinger's boys. luigi: MARIO WTH RL: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? RM: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. RM: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. mario: ... RP: ... luigi: ... RL: ... RM: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

peach, teaching RP to drive: Okay, you're driving and mario and RM walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? RP: Oh, definitely RM. I could never hurt mario. peach, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

RM: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions. RL: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions. luigi: Who's caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist? RM: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions?

hold on stop the quotes for a second, THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS!? caramelizing doesnt mean putting carmel on it? I've been calling caramelizing when I put caramel on ice cream

back to regular program~

RM: As usual, RM has to save the day! edge: As usual, edge has to hear about it

peach: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie. RR: Ooh, can we get some actual pie? peach: I like the way you think.

mario: *shatters a window and climbs through it* mario: *turns around and helps RL through it* Breaking and entering is wrong RL. RL: Okay.

edge: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? edge: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

peach, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick! RL: Moose Tracks is good! RR: What the bawh is that!? RL: *Gasp* How dare you insult moo- RR: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR. peach and RL: what? RR: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!? peach: You done now? RR: Yeah ok. peach and RL: ... RR: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

*RM and RR are fighting* edge, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?! *RM and RR start fighting while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards*

RP: What the hell is wrong with you? RM: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

RM: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths. Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

mario, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

peach: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? RP: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know. peach: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

edge: Let's all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on earth. RR: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on earth.