#well... keep it up ma'am
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DOCTOR WHO | Death in Heaven
#doctor who#dwedit#dwgif#timelordgifs#tvedit#scifiedit#kate stewart#jemma redgrave#s8#death in heaven#mine#my gifs#you're serving c*nt? there's an alien invasion and you're serving c*nt?#well... keep it up ma'am#also while making this i just noticed how Many cuts they make here#let me look at the woman's face dammit!#however the shots of cybermen just standing there like :| are toooo funny#comedy gold. man i love doctor who
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cw child abuse but I thought maybe my mum would finally be chill w/ us talking about the time she repeatedly shoved me into a room as punishment for having a panic attack at 8 years old but it turns out it's not chill and bringing it up still Makes Me The Asshole
#shes usually pre good about talking about childhood trauma stuff but for some reason this one subject makes her snap#she was like bragging about how she would always calmly talk us through our upset moments as kids and i was like... yeah 99% of the time#i was laughing a bit too trying to keep the energy chill#and she got defensive and asked about the 1% so i was like well you did lock me in a room for having a panic attack and her response was#it didnt lock from your side you could get out!!#like ma'am everytime i got out your 6'2 ass would charge down the hallway#pick me up and manhandle me back into the room as i desperately tried to escape#i can still remember the physical sensation of gripping onto my wooden doorframe while she pushed me in and thinking if i could just get to#the front door i could escape and ask an adult for help because my parents had turned on me#anyway sorry to vent just needed to get it out bc we spent hours together after i tried talking about it and its hard to act friendly when#im like hey can we talk about how you refuse to admit you had a part in abusing me#she wonders why i didnt talk to her re my dads grooming and its like ma'am i showed vulnerability and you rapunzeled me#i was not going to risk that twice
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this book: a heart-warming tale of a young slave girl who is torn between her love for a handsome aristocrat and her faith in God
this book: *gets to 70% without more than a hint of any romance between these two and it's mostly lust*
this book: oh by the way the aristocrat is so worried for this slave girl's safety THAT HE BEATS HER TO MAKE HER UNDERSTAND
#LITERALLY#he straight up grabbed her and shook her and shouted at her#and then felt bad about it which “only made him angrier”#AND THEN WHEN HE WASN'T SATISFIED THAT SHE UNDERSTOOD THE DANGER HE HIT HER#and DID NOT REGRET IT#I haven't liked him from the get go and I wasn't at all convinced about any romance ESPECIALLY on her side but THIS?#I'm just ticked off now#I'll accept the odd swift shake to make someone listen (especially if they're hysterical)#but the shoving around and yelling and hitting? no#the master-slave dynamic does NOT help#and the author keeps trying to pull the whole clashing cultures thing like “well for him this is totally normal and acceptable”#ma'am then shoot for grudging respect#not ROMANCE#2023 reading list#mine#(yes I'm also yelling about this in the friend group chat)
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Found the Earthbore Cave.
#i did catch all the messages saying “trap” yes but i mean i didn't expect it that quick#and the boss of said cave#ma'am#rune bears are difficult enough on horseback#it went down like a damn samurai flick we were both down to one hit left and i only -just- managed to jump heavy attack it first#the clench was nuclear#now cemetery shades on the other hand#amazingly spooky yes but it went down in 20 seconds without even one bottle used hn oh well#(bloodhound's fang is currently the weapon of choice though i do have to level-up-endurance myself out of heavy load at the moment)#and @ everyone who keep leaving “try rump” comments near any pike-shaped thing sticking out of the ground yeah you're fucking hilarious#ølden ring#that one huge beach with the dozens and dozens of skeletal undead was just uncanny#i assume they've all completely given up and are wanting to leave that's so sad#(ganked them all for cheap runes ha)
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#🤦♂️#welp#got off the phone w the vet and my dog needs to be on yet another medication#she's developed hypothyroidism which is making her health worse#And her liver enzymes r too high#so we can add that to the list that also includes:#moderate to severe heart murmur#high blood pressure#severe seasonal allergies#extreme IBD#the most severe case of hemorrhagic gastroenteritis the internal med specialist has seen in her 20+ year career#arthritis#permanent spinal injury & condition#.....HOW IS THIS DOG EVEN ALIVE HER BODY IS AS CHAOTIC AND BROKEN AS MINE IS#holy fuck#truly and actually i have spent over $10k on this dog in the last 2 years#currently paying about $300 a month for her medications (which will now go up) plus her 2 specialised diets and 3 supplements#aiyaiyaiiiii#fucking hell#truly i adore this dog but she is draining my bank account like leech#its not her fault obvi its all good#and i can certainly relate as a trash-bodied disabled person as well#but thats. kind of the point#i live off of disability and my mother has no savings left so i cannot afford keeping up w these appts and costs#now they wanna do more ultrasounds and i was like. ma'am. i have zero moneys. i cannae do that#so we compromised for more bloodwork (still pricey af) and if that looks bad then we'll go for the ultrasound#fuckin hell. sudhdhdj#I LOVE THIS DOG WITH ALL HER ISSUES BUT JFC I CANNOT AFFORD THIS#diary#willow
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billions could only have a gay man, who was married, and died by the end of that season; only deal with taylor's upending of presumed cishettery by having everyone who's not terrible be automatically down without putting some crisis about it on them, as the better approach to trying to have people talk about it (true, certainly in this case); extent of its room for rian's latent nonbinariness being "never wearing skirts/dresses, always wearing makeup though"....all that is to say, even with neither of them allowed to be "truly" cishet, b/c that's the rewarded realm for superior people, billions could never do winstuk. but they could be kissing right now
#winston & tuk: cannot be cishet in a way that matters (billions means this as an insult. i mean it as a testimonial)#sure convincing that winston's own ideals are like ''wow im the straightest in the world'' after One alleged official dating experience#and Two crushes on nonbinary people. and being the One person who's a) supported tuk b) without telling him to Stop Being A Loser#the one way other characters can Elevate(tm) tuk more than winston: not Really support him; just tell him to Become worthier#while winston: does not do this#anyway nobody at all gets to be ''truly'' ''ideally'' cishet; just like other inventions re the Correctest body/mind's look & behavior#tbt yrs & yrs ago some random lady talking abt ''queering'' her marriage by having a cellphone or smthing like ma'am i agree nowadays fr#winston Cannot have a ''correct'' sexuality even if he's supposedly ''at least'' cishet with it#neither can tuk; next most loserest dumped no gf nerd! neither Unglasses'd; neither Thin; winston's autistic; tuk isn't white....#show goes ''well just look at & listen to him XD'' towards winston on occasion; usually doesn't ''overtly'' do this; doesn't re: tuk....#meanwhile the idea that well Non Hot(tm) people who have no place in ideals & fantasy of Correctness & what's most desired?#they can get with Each Other :) that doesn't threaten things haha don't know how wrong they are. or have accepted All They Deserve (less)#billions is so proximately capable of letting these two be Involved in this way lmao. but it also Isn't#can barely handle taylor & just avoids addressing as much outright as often; again: one gay man; neatly married; neatly deceased....#iconic total hc's: supplementary dynamics the ladies who are also friends they hooked up w/in 6x11 having a fourway abt it#no anxious negotiating of what must be done & must not be done to keep it all cishet ''enough'' lol. congrats to them all#winston billions#winstuk#was already thinking winston could be dating someone we don't know abt till billions tried to reassure us oh he hasn't Of Course lol right#same is true for tuk ofc but he gets the same treatment (ft. ben's utter mysteriousness re: Any mention of past dating history....)#riawin could've been great & was completely welcome; issue became how the abusiveness there would just also manifest re: sex / romance#totally won't find resonance / overlap b/w ableism & homophobia in how winston's sexuality is seen as mere sex drive that's also gross btw#tuk's really also framed the same way like Of Course You'd Be Rejected; and Any desires would become repulsively Too Much#b/c the superior parties have to want it for it to be correct! & they'd never want You! you're just completely wrong & outside of it all#winston talking at all? Too Much. he must be talked To; & that is so usually begrudging & nonideal#other ppl being horney like well of course. pretty epic really#like w/e winston's sucking & fucking & [Saluting] if he isn't dating at all. like good for him. he can make out w/tuk one way or another#''winston can go fuck himself'' (like one bg dialogue person straightup says) Okay. He Is. party for one? this too can be Sex
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And there it is, the scene that ruined my life
Straight from the YT video on the official channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXcQSUZuOKk
#Genshin#Genshin Impact#Lantern Rite#madame ping#When she said that she'd play the melody for us another time I was literally on my knees begging toward my screen#like YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR PROMISE PLEASE!! I WANNA HEAR IT#this came out of left field#I heard the zither and I shed that tear that was welling up in my eyes#Lantern Rite has successfully made me shed a couple tears 3 years in a row#I tell you again#Lantern Rite is my favorite event#'My fingers don't have the dexterity they once did...'#MA'AM WITH ALL DUE RESPECT SHUT THE FUCK UP#in 15 seconds you managed to break me in ways I didn't think possible#your melody was beautiful
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I think Sadako got mad cause I said Kayako and her movie were scarier so she invaded my dreams and gave me a nightmare and a sleep paralysis demon (Lily, my cat, why were you sitting on me and looking down at me all night???).
#silly watches#silly talks#I said what I said Sadako! ....you have the better mystery tho#silly watches horror#silly watches ringu#oh yeah I finished all of ju-on.....haven't talked about it kljdaskfljaf#juon origins was great it had great horror atmosphere but also had me giggling a lot klfdjalfjasfj#i watched both the 1995 ver and the more popular 1998 ver#Lily likes to lay on me#boof (my other cat) likes to lay on me too but usually when I'm in bed she'll cuddle up next to my face (which she was doing last night)#lily's usually been asleep tho but for some reason she was watching me fkjlsfkjsjfkjfals;ajf#probs cause i was having a nightmare but boof I guess was like 'nah we're gonna just keep sleeping itll work itself out'#ah well if i die i die#i brought this on myself#still surprised this movie had ppl in a chokehold TT0TT like in terms of horror#i know ju-on was inspo'd by it but.....Ju-on feels more like an active haunting akjfdsajf *sobs*#the irony is the nightmare looked more like kayako than sadako TT0TT#kayako has had a chokehold on me since I was 10 ma'am pls#i need rest
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slowly coming out to people at work and today i decided to come out to a woman i know does not like transgender people and she stopped me and said "no, i know what you are. i knew when you came in one day and you always had a very sweet, beautiful voice and it turned hard one day, suddenly. i know. and i have my own opinions. i know a lot of gays and lesbians and all kinds of people, trust me. and i respect you. but i have my own opinions under god. and you live your life." and literally earlier that day she had called me a "strong, very beautiful woman" which is part of why i did this. and i asked why, if she knew, that she did that anyways. and she said "well, it's how i see you, as you were born." and i just put up one finger and waggled it and said "we will not discuss this further". and like i knew this would happen. but oh well! i honestly thought she would be the kind of person who was sort of furious about it because it how she always seemed.
#its funny because she ALWAYS fished about it so i gave it to her#and after i started getting more obviously transitioned is when she started the whole very often calling me a girl and a woman thing#and even feminized my name. and claimed ''that was what you always went by!'' which is just untrue.#its funny! the people who perfectly understand it always are the people who completely are against it#i much rather the kind of people who straight up dont understand and ask a lot of questions about it to learn#and usually still dont fully quite get it in the end but put their thumbs up about it though and smile and try. those people i really love#VERY FUNNY because she literally thought ''Holly'' (bastardization of the name i went by at work for awhile) was my birthname#and that my masculine birthgiven name was the name i was trying to change my name to#and before i came out she was like ''well.. i think Holly's a very beautiful name. i dont know why you would change it to... that''#ma'am... that is a bastardization of my chosen name you made up in your mind. and. its the opposite. you're just skewing it up for yourself#might literally have an HR problem with this woman if it keeps going
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God i love talking to colleagues casually you find out the most batshit things about their lives before you entered them
#'oh ive been to japan twice- yeah on a uso tour with the nfl- well they'd take cheerleading squads certain years -' IM SORRY MA'AM???#MA'AM YOU WERE A WHAT?? A NFL WHAT? yes its absolutely believable i just need to sit down and process this#we have photo proof and everything thats the kicker like- OKAY our hot older colleague just keeps racking up points!
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My favourite thing to do in therapy is dropping the most fucked up thing the darkest parts of my mind can come up with at the very end of the session
#she goes 'unfortunatly i have to stop you but we'll talk about this next time' and the next time she forgets and i try not to talk about it#therapy is going well why do you ask#for example last time i said 'i think they're gonna hispitalize me if i keep losing weight' and she went 'oh we'll talk about this fantasy'#but I'm only gonna talk about my graduation next time#sorry ma'am i know you want to give up on me because I've moved maybe one single step forward in two years
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me: I just feel so hopeless. I've been making all of the recommended changes to my life - cutting out alcohol, eating healthily, exercising, in therapy - and nothing is helping me feel even slightly better. In fact, if anything I feel like I'm getting worse. I don't know what to do and I need help. therapist: well you can't expect to lose 100lbs overnight :\
#i'm not even kidding this is exactly how the conversation went#like are you fucking serious#you listened to all of that and your takeaway was#'I'm not losing weight fast enough'#i'm literally in that fucking david firth unfixable thought machine video#every time I tried to be open and honest about how severe my symptoms are#she just went off about how a CBT therapist can't do anything to help with that#like ma'am trust me I did NOT ask to be referred to you#in fact I specifically requested to NOT be referred to CBT because I knew this would happen#'well you were a good fit for CBT when you referred to us'#no I was not the NHS is just desperately trying to use CBT as a paper-thin plaster over the gaping wound#of the country's worsening mental health crisis#like I'm sorry okay?#I'm sorry I can't just 'get better' on a fast and convenient timeline#believe me if I could then I fucking would#I'm not deliberately keeping myself in constant daily agony as... what some kind of bizarre 'gotcha'?#I just want to scream and cry and give up because what is even the point#brain adventures#mental health#bpd#tw suicide
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im so determined to not replace things until i absolutely have to and my poor headphones are hanging on by a thread at this point. but they still work!
#like. along the top there was this fabric covering kinda thing? that's peeling off on one side and it will not stay when i fix it#the ears of the headphones kinda fold slightly so you can put them away easier#they're only supposed to be able to turn 90 degrees so the headphones can be flatter for easier storage#well i bumped one side against a chair yesterday and now it spins alllll the way around! wheeee#ive had to replace the ear pads multiple times bc they keep just. disintegrating? the edges just peel off and then they dont stay on anymore#the bass slider is kinda fucked so that if it's set to Off it actually like. turns UP the bass really loud In My Right Ear Only#so i have to turn the slider up just veeeeery slightly so it's off in both ears (i Hate high bass in headphones it Hurts)#the condescending british lady that tells me when the battery is low or I've connected to something just. stops playing sometimes#so like I'll be Waiting for my headphones to connect to my computer and have to manually check if it just Didn't Play The Sound#these headphones used to be bone white. they are a solid grey-brown now#my mother doesn't believe me when i tell her these used to be white. ma'am i have not taken these off since the day i bought them#i genuinely had no idea there were like. specific noise canceling headphones For Autism until recently#so i always got these massive chunky bluetooth headphones to use as noise canceling instead. bonus i get music too#expensive ass headphones but at least i only have to replace them once every like. three years#and shockingly they still sell the ones i have?? they haven't Deleted that product for a newer one they just updated it which is nice#my autistic hatred of change appreciates that i can still get The Same Thing again
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getting new responsibilities at work is great bc I have like a nice list of things I can point to next review for a raise but also god the creeping responsibilities. beating that shit back with a stick
#it's stuff i can do I'm just not sure i can mentally deal with this jack-of-all-trades role I'm being cast in#like it's a lot of different things to keep up with while also still mainly helping users with errors y'know#like sorry ma'am can't troubleshoot with you at that time I'm making sure this other system doesn't blow up ✌️#ah well I'm asking for a raise after my next review and it better be Good#reilly.txt
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break a sweat
Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
Word Count: 5.2k
Rating: E
Warnings: 18+, aged-up characters, explicit sexual content, unprotected PIV sex, dubious safe sex methods, even more dubious interpretations of how the room of requirement works
Summary: sebastian makes the house quidditch team after training all summer. before his first match, you let him talk you into a bet over its outcome that will in all likelihood ruin your friendship. (merlin, you sure hope it does.)
"Speaking of which," you say, leaning out of the hug just enough to see Sebastian’s face. "What prize will you not be winning?" Sebastian lets his hands drop down to your hips as he murmurs, "I have something in mind." You force yourself not to get distracted. "Do tell." "If I win, I’d like to take you to the Room of Requirement after the game," he says, and the way he grips your sides through your skirt ensures you have no way of misunderstanding what he’s suggesting.
Seeing Sebastian for the first time since the end of your sixth year at Hogwarts is quite the shock.
You knew from his detailed letters that your dearest friend had spent the better part of his summer break training for Quidditch tryouts in the fall, frequently flying down to the Poidsear Coast to log hours and hours at their pitch.
Sometimes he would even bring Anne along with him when she was feeling well enough to ride on the back of his broom. He’d convince her to release a secondhand Snitch for him to track down, and while he hunted it down, she worked on the assignments your professors had set to help her prepare for her return to Hogwarts in the fall.
He’d even written to tell you that he’d never felt more confident on a broom, and that if he only got to have one last season on your house team before leaving school, he was determined to make the absolute most of it.
You knew all of this, and yet when you first see him in the Great Hall for the start-of-term feast, you nearly swoon like a Muggle schoolgirl at the sight of him.
The first thing you notice is that he’s taller. Even seated next to Anne at the Slytherin table, you can see his entire head whereas you can barely make out the top of his sister’s. Sebastian had never seemed that much bigger than his twin before, but things have clearly changed.
Then, you notice that his complexion has changed as well. He’s tan from spending all summer training in the sun, his button-down shirt suddenly looking so crisply white against his sun-kissed face.
His freckles, too – there are so many more.
But that could also just be because there’s simply more Sebastian now. His shoulders are broader, his chest wider, and even his hair has grown long enough to brush upwards into a less haphazard style (though certainly not as severe as Ominis’).
It’s as if your boyish Sebastian from the previous school year had quite suddenly become a grown man in just three short months, and you can’t tear your eyes away from the sight of him.
It takes you a few minutes to adjust as you slide into a seat across from him next to Ominis, and based on the look on Anne’s face, she at least knows what’s got you so flustered.
During a lull in conversation about Anne’s return, you tell Sebastian, “You’re looking fit.”
You hope you can casually get it out of the way, and that no one will dwell on it.
“Am I?” he asks with an easy smile.
“I mean physically,” you insist, remaining one step ahead of him. “I nearly mistook you for one of the Beaters for the Magpies.”
“Sebastian could never be a Beater,” Anne interjects. “He’s too much of a show-off to be anything but the Seeker.”
“I’ll be whatever the team needs me to be,” he insists. “I practiced for all four positions this summer, so wherever they want to slot me in is fine.”
“Silly Sebastian,” Violet McDowell calls out from a few seats down, a wicked grin on her face. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that there are many more positions than just four?”
Your entire end of the table bursts into laughter while Sebastian simply flashes a wicked grin, and you think about using your ancient magic to hurl one of the stacked platters of food in front of you at Violet’s head. (Or maybe you should simply toss her out into the courtyard.)
“Is this how it’s going to be this year?” Anne sighs. “When I left, Sebastian was just an awkward boy with his nose always buried in a book, and now the girls are lusting after him.”
“I’m not thrilled about it either,” Ominis agrees. “He had a big enough head before he was attractive.”
“I think it’s excellent,” Sebastian laughs. “It’s about time everyone realized that I’m the perfect man, and all it took was a little bit of Quidditch practice and one last growth spurt.”
“‘All it took,’” Anne mumbles at the same time Ominis exclaims, “‘Perfect man?!’”
While both his sister and best friend take turns putting dents in Sebastian’s inflated ego, he takes it in stride and sneakily winks at you from across the table when he catches you silently observing, your gaze firmly settled on the sharp line of his jaw.
Sebastian makes a mental note of the fact that you immediately go red. Even if no one else notices, he certainly does.
—
Two weeks later, you and Anne link arms with Ominis to walk down with him to the Quidditch pitch to watch the Slytherin team tryouts.
“Now that I’ve got a brilliant witch on each arm, I suppose I won’t be needing my wand as often to get around,” he teases.
“Please, I know a thing or two about that wand of yours,” Anne replies. “Last year I spent a full month reading books on wandcraft that Sebastian brought me from the library. If I had to guess, I think you can probably ‘see’ more clearly than either of us can. It’s powerful.”
“No idea what you’re talking about,” Ominis demurs. “I’m just naturally perceptive.”
Once you arrive at the pitch, the three of you take seats along the practice bleachers with a few of your housemates, who chat excitedly when the Slytherin hopefuls begin to take the field.
You spot Sebastian quickly, even among nearly two dozen others in green practice uniforms circling for warmups on their brooms. Compared to how big he’d looked at the start of term in just his school robes, he’s huge now – equipped with pads across his shoulders, forearms and shins that accentuate his muscular form.
He’d declined a helmet, of course, because despite his newfound bulk he’s still the same exasperatingly headstrong boy you’ve nurtured a crush on for nearly your entire school career.
“Between us, what do you think his chances are of making the team?” you ask Anne.
“Truthfully?” she smirks. “I think he’ll have his pick of positions, unless Imelda wants to humble him on purpose.”
“Which one would be humbling?” you ask, amused.
“Probably Chaser,” she muses. “He’d be an excellent Chaser, of course, but it’s his least favorite.”
“I’ll bet he becomes a Beater,” Ominis offers. “Without the Dark Arts, I’d like him to have some sort of outlet for his intensity.”
“Fine, then I’ll say… Keeper,” you say, smiling to yourself at your private joke that only Sebastian would appreciate. “Because that way he’ll get to stay in one place the whole game and know that everyone’s eyes are on him.”
—
Shortly after tryouts wrap up, Imelda sequesters herself in the girls’ dorm to put together her official roster and the majority of Slytherin’s upperclassmen start passing around Butterbeers while they settle in to await her decision.
Sebastian is inarguably the center of attention, casually leaning against a table in the corner with Anne at his side. A flock of fifth-year girls crowds around him to listen intently as he talks about the impressive diving save he’d made, capturing the Snitch just feet from the ground.
“He’s going to be insufferable now,” Ominis groans while the two of you watch from across the room. “There’s barely enough room for his ego in this friendship as it is.”
“Come now, we can keep him in check,” you laugh. “Especially with Anne here.”
“It’s really good to have her back,” Ominis agrees softly, smiling to himself when he hears Anne’s voice through the noise, telling Sebastian’s fan club how he’d attempted a similar save over the summer and ended up crashing into a derelict poacher camp.
Huh.
However, before you can spend too much more time thinking about Ominis and Anne, you hear the noise in the room spike as Imelda saunters down the stairs, a rolled-up piece of parchment in her hand.
“Who’s ready to meet this year’s Slytherin Quidditch team?” she calls out, and the entire room bursts into excited cheers.
She starts to read off from her list, allowing brief pauses for applause after each name. You and Ominis snake through the common room to stand by Sebastian. He seems to be perfectly calm, but by now you can recognize some telltale tension lingering in his jaw.
Anne holds one of his hands to reassure him, swaying a bit nervously herself.
While Imelda works her way down the list, the four of you learn that hasn’t been named Slytherin’s Keeper. He’s not a Beater either, nor is he ultimately a Chaser.
“Lastly, your newest Seeker,” Imelda teases as she reaches the end of the list. “...It’s obviously Sallow!”
Sebastian beams brilliantly while Anne pulls him into a tight hug, and Ominis smiles and murmurs his congratulations to his friend, assuring him he always knew he’d make the team.
There are several other girls quick to offer their congratulations as well, but you wait for the crowd around him to thin out and for Anne to escort Ominis to get more Butterbeers before you sidle up next to Sebastian and nudge your shoulder against his.
“Excellent work, Bash,” you murmur. “You put on quite a show at tryouts.”
“Only because you were watching,” he flirts back, and you roll your eyes fondly.
Since the start of term, he’s been relentless with his play-flirting. You resist it as much as you can, but it always makes your heart race when he calls you “love,” or offers to carry your books for you, or even charms little notes poking fun at your classmates into tiny birds that gracefully land on your desk during classes.
(You don’t have the heart to ask him to knock it off, because even though you know he doesn’t mean it, it still feels nice to be the center of his attention.)
“Then I’ll have to come to see you start in next week’s match,” you offer. “Especially if you only play that well when I’m watching.”
“You can be my good luck charm,” he jokes. “Felix Felicis is prohibited, but you’re not.”
“That was awful,” you laugh, but Sebastian just grins.
“Tell you what,” he says after a moment. “We should make a bet on it.”
“A bet?” you ask. “On what, that you’ll win?”
He shakes his head. “Too easy, we’re playing Ravenclaw, we’ll obviously win. I mean something more challenging.”
“You’re clearly confident,” you tell him. “What are your terms?”
He considers his offer for a moment and then says, “I’ll bet that I can catch the Snitch in under thirty minutes. I’ll even let you be the official timekeeper, since I’ll be a bit preoccupied.”
“Under thirty?” you ask skeptically. “That’s nearly professional, Sebastian. Ominis told me most games last at least an hour.”
“I’ve been practicing all summer,” he insists. “Anne would release a Snitch and I’d even give it a five-minute head start, but I never let one get further away from me than the far side of Marunweem Lake.”
“Careful, Sebastian, you sound quite cocky,” you murmur, and you think you see Sebastian’s gaze dip down to your mouth for a split second.
“I am,” he agrees. “In fact, I’ll even let you pick your prize first, for if you win.”
“Alright,” you laugh. “When I win, I want… for you to write my History of Magic assignments for the next month.
“That’s it?” he scoffs. “You could have anything and you want me to write your essays?”
“I didn’t start studying magic with the rest of you lot, and I don’t know a lot of the foundational things that Binns wants us to reference,” you remind him. “You know your history much better than I do, and I need to bump my ‘Acceptable’ up to ‘Exceeds Expectations’ by the time N.E.W.T.s roll around.”
“Love, I would’ve done them for you anyway,” Sebastian says dismissively, and you bite the inside of your cheek to keep from grinning at the nickname. “Pick something fun.”
“Fine,” you reply. “I want…”
You consider your options for a moment, trying to think of something that isn’t either obscene or pathetic. Finally, you have an idea.
“There is one thing I’ve been thinking about,” you tell him, a secret smile on your lips.
Sebastian perks up, leaning in closer. “Go on then.”
“I want you to help me set up Anne and Ominis,” you say carefully, watching him for any signs that he’s about to blow up.
He just blinks at you, bewildered. “What.”
“I think they would be a lovely couple,” you croon. “And I know she’s your sister and you’re, y’know...”
“I’m what?” he demands.
“You’re very protective of her,” you say tactfully. “But we’re all adults now, and I think they really understand each other. I want you to help me convince them that they should give it a chance.”
Sebastian is quiet for several long moments.
“Well,” he finally murmurs. “I would prefer it if Anne never dated anyone so I wouldn’t have any more reasons to worry about her, but I suppose if she must, Ominis is a good man.”
You shout excitedly and wrap your arms around his impossibly broad shoulders, pulling him in for a hug. He easily allows it, fondly pressing his nose to your hair.
“I suppose it doesn’t really matter though, since you won’t win and I’ll never have to aid you in your scheming,” he murmurs against your temple.
“Speaking of which,” you say, leaning out of the hug just enough to see Sebastian’s face. “What prize will you not be winning?”
Sebastian lets his hands drop down to your hips as he murmurs, “I have something in mind.”
You force yourself not to get distracted. “Do tell.”
“If I win, I’d like to take you to the Room of Requirement after the game,” he says, and the way he grips your sides through your skirt ensures you have no way of misunderstanding what he’s suggesting.
“O-oh?” you ask softly, squirming a little in his grasp. “Just me?”
“Just you,” he confirms.
His eyes are dark, and despite the cacophony of the room around you both, he’s focused solely on you.
“And what would we be doing in the Room of Requirement?” you ask softly.
He doesn’t even dignify your question with a response. Instead, he deliberately drags his thumbs across your hips, raking his gaze down your body and back up with a pointed look.
“You mean it?” you ask him quietly. “You aren’t just teasing like earlier?”
“When was I teasing?” Sebastian asks, amused.
“This whole time,” you insist, fidgeting nervously with the laces at the front of his Quidditch shirt. “All the flirting, all this back-and-forth… You’re just winding me up.”
“I’m not,” he says quietly. “I thought about you all summer, love. I missed you like mad, and I sincerely want you.”
Merlin.
Some bold part of you steps a little closer so you can lean in close to his ear and ask, “Are you sure we shouldn’t just go to the Room of Requirement right now?”
You hear Sebastian swallow and exhale sharply.
“N-not now,” he answers. “After the match. I just…”
He doesn’t really have the words to articulate it, but he wants to earn your affection. He has to prove he’s good enough first, that you aren’t making a mistake by letting him finally force your close friendship into something more.
“Alright,” you acquiesce, gently brushing your lips against his cheekbone. “Just don’t get too distracted and fall off your broom, because I actually want you to win.”
“The match or the bet?” he asks in a low voice.
You just take a step back with a teasing grin, and before you disappear into the crowd to find your friends, you murmur, “Wouldn’t you like to know, Sallow.”
—
It’s so many flights of stairs up to the Room of Requirement. You almost feel bad for Sebastian, but not enough to stop relentlessly tugging him up countless flights in the quiet Astronomy Tower.
He must be exhausted already, you assume. While the match itself had only lasted twenty-seven minutes and forty seconds, he spent nearly all of them racing around the pitch alongside Ravenclaw’s Seeker, eyes trained on any flash of light that shimmered like gold.
He’d even taken a Bludger to his right thigh. You’d felt like you were going to be sick just watching it collide with him, but he’d merely dropped a few feet with a wince and sped off again.
Not even a damn Bludger could knock him off his broom.
(As soon as your nausea had dissipated, you’d felt another dizzying wave of sensation take over slightly south of your stomach.)
Just as he’d promised, he quickly caught up with the Snitch near the base of the Hufflepuff student section, landing not-so-neatly in the muddy grass with one arm thrown up in the air. He was evidently clutching the struggling Snitch and beaming so hugely you could see it from your spot in the stands fifty feet in the air.
As soon as Madam Kogawa blew her whistle, the Slytherins had begun to move en masse toward the stairs, preparing to turn their common room into the official site of the year’s first not-so-clandestine party.
You, however, snuck away from the group and lingered outside the team’s changing area. Inside, you could hear raised voices.
“Imelda, you don’t understand,” Sebastian was whining. “I need to go now.”
“There’s a way we do things here, Sallow,” she had argued “I’m the captain, and if I say we’re going to discuss the game before anyone leaves, you stay.”
Sebastian had a few choice words to say to that but ultimately relented, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly while you leaned against one of the canvas walls that lined the interior channels of the pitch. Ultimately, it only took about ten minutes to discuss how everyone could improve – and Imelda’s only suggestion for Sebastian had been to try to find a dryer patch of grass on which to land next time.
Seconds later, he’d burst through the door and started to take off toward the castle.
“Bash!” you called out. “Not so fast.”
When he turned and spotted you, his face lit up.
“You waited for me,” he breathed.
“Of course I did,” you said. “I believe you’ve won a prize, and the nature of it is time-sensitive.”
He looked like an utter rake with that crooked smile on his lips. He was still in his uniform head to toe, his hair even messier than usual thanks to his helmet. He’d even kept his pads on, so when he reached out to take your hand, you felt impossibly small next to him.
“Shall we?” he asks, and then the two of you were off.
By the time you reach the Room and ensure no house elves are present, you’re both out of breath and panting.
“Come here,” you whine, throwing your arms around his shoulders and messily kissing along his jawline.
“W-wait,” he stammers. “Let me get these pads off, and–”
He cuts himself off, making a face.
“I need to clean up,” he tells you, suddenly self-conscious. “I must look like hell.”
“You look obscene,” you reply, dragging your hands down his chest pads. “Which is obviously a compliment.”
He wraps his hands around your wrists to stop you from attempting to undo the laces at the front of his trousers. “Just – just let me clean off first, the prefects’ bathroom isn’t far and I got the password off of Weasley.”
“No, don’t leave,” you whine, and Sebastian is merely a man, he can’t resist the girl he’s been in love with for years when she’s begging him to take his pants off.
“I must smell foul,” he laughs. “You’re – you’re seriously okay with this?”
“Look where we are, Sebastian,” you croon, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the side of his neck. “Just imagine what you need.”
For your part, you imagine a plush armchair where you can wrangle Sebastian into finally taking a seat, and one quickly spins to life just behind him. You take advantage of his distraction to shove him backwards toward it and climb astride lap.
“It’s the Room of Requirement,” you tease him, straddling his thighs and dragging your nose along his cheek so he’ll tip his head back for you. “If you require something, the Room provides.”
“I require a bath,” he drawls, cursing quietly when you gently bite just over his pulse point. “Quickly, please, Room.”
Sebastian waits patiently while you eagerly strip him of his pads, but the Room doesn’t change.
“I thought you said you’ve taken baths here,” he points out skeptically. “In a huge basin, like the prefects have.”
“I have,” you insist, frowning. “I don’t know why it’s not…”
Then you trail off, your realization making you go red.
“Go on, love,” Sebastian murmurs, sliding a hand up the back of your thigh to lazily palm at your ass underneath your skirt. “I know that face, you’ve figured it out. What’s the problem?”
“W-well, it’s my Room,” you tell him sheepishly. “So it, um… I suppose it defaults to what I require.”
“And what you require,” Sebastian says slowly, “is for me to not take a bath?”
You squeeze your eyes shut, embarrassed.
“I… I suppose the Room must have deduced that I – I like you like this,” you whisper, dragging your hands across his rumpled Quidditch shirt. “And I don’t need to wait for you to clean off.”
“You don’t?” Sebastian asks, his eyes now impossibly dark. “You’d let me touch you just like this? I’m a mess, I’m covered in sweat and mud and probably some blood, even.”
“Don’t care,” you breathe, sliding your hands underneath the hem of his shirt. “I want you now, Sebastian, exactly like this.”
He says some absolutely filthy words under his breath, sitting back so he can strip off his filthy uniform shirt. You can’t get your hands on his body fast enough, hurriedly familiarizing yourself with his sculpted core, broad chest, and strong shoulders.
He’s less of a mess underneath where his shirt had lain, but his skin is still warm and damp with sweat from the match. You want to put your mouth all over him, everywhere – and there’s so much of him to explore.
“I couldn’t believe it when I first saw you like this,” you confess to him. “You’ve gotten bigger since last spring, and so handsome… how did you become a man in just one summer?”
“You think I’m the only one who changed this summer?” he asks with a low voice. “Look at you.”
“What about me?” you ask dumbly.
His hands go straight for your chest, roughly tugging open your uniform shirt with no regard for the longevity of its buttons.
“Here,” he murmurs, his hands cupping your breasts through your thin brassiere. “I can assure you that I noticed where you’ve grown bigger.”
You gasp softly as he tugs down on the cups of your bra until he can lean in and press his mouth to your skin, sucking on one of your nipples and then the other.
“And here,” he murmurs into your chest, his hands returning to the backs of your thighs and sliding up your ass. “You have all these curves now, love, and they’re driving me mad.”
“Sebastian,” you whimper. “Take off my clothes.”
He helps you wrestle your skirt up over your head and tosses it recklessly as far as he can. When you’re left in nothing but your undergarments, Sebastian wraps one strong arm around your lower back and hooks the other below your hips, easily standing up from the armchair to walk you over to the bed you’d hastily imagined into existence.
Once he has you on your back, he tugs down your last remaining garment and leaves you bare and exposed to him, breathless and flushed all over.
“Your turn,” you remind him, even though part of you wishes he could leave the uniform pants on (despite the impracticality).
Once he manages to peel off the last of his clothes, he settles on his knees between your legs and skims a hand up your body, from the curve of your hip all the way up to your cheek.
“Is this too fast?” he asks you softly. “Did I ask too much?”
Your heart aches. Sebastian always stuns you with his sincerity when you least expect it.
You turn your head to kiss his palm and murmur, “No, love.”
His shoulders drop a little, the last of the tension he’d been carrying all week draining from his body. He wants, he always wants so damn badly and he would never forgive himself if he marred your first time with each other by rushing you.
“Can I touch you?” he asks in a hushed voice.
“Please,” you whine, letting your knees fall wide.
(Whether or not the other has ever done this before is still a mystery to you both, and it’s not something you’ll discuss until afterward. But right now, it’s of no importance to you.)
For a while, Sebastian’s hands roam your body without an agenda, acquainting himself with your breasts, your hips, the insides of your thighs. You moan softly when he drags his thumb along your slit, spreading your wetness around until he can easily rub slow circles over your clit.
“How do you feel?” he asks you.
“Good,” you gasp. “So good, Sebastian, like that.”
“Do you want more?” he offers, and you frantically nod, one of your hands fisting the pillow behind your head.
He carefully presses one long finger inside you, glancing between your face and your entrance to make sure you’re comfortable the entire time. One finger quickly becomes two, and when two nearly becomes three, you have to pause and take a breath.
“Enough,” you pant. “That’s enough.”
“Are you sure?” he asks you.
You reach down and wrap your hand around his cock, giving him a few slow strokes while he leaks precum onto your hand and groans helplessly.
“I want you,” you insist. “I’ve wanted you.”
“R-right, yeah,” he agrees, trying to clear his head and focus on the task at hand. “Enough.”
He gently nudges your hand away so he can guide himself inside you, one hand wrapped around himself and the other gently pressing on your inner thigh to keep you still for him.
Underneath Sebastian like this, pinned to the mattress by his hips and hands, he completely overtakes your senses. He’s all you can see, all you can touch — you even taste and smell him.
Masculine sweat. Dark brown eyes. Crisp autumn air. The curve of his collarbone where it meets his shoulder. Woodsmoke. A million tiny freckles. Metallic blood from a split lip. Flashes of copper in his messy curls. Singed pine needles.
Sebastian groans low in his throat as he presses in, his hair falling into his eyes before he frantically brushes it away so he can see you take him for the first time.
Once he’s fully seated inside you, he bends down and presses his forehead against yours.
“Tell me,” he begs, his hand curling gently around the back of your neck to hold you close.
“Tell you what?” you whisper, your lips brushing against his with every syllable.
“Tell me that it feels like this for you,” he practically breathes into you. “It feels like you’re — you’re everywhere, like you’re all there is.”
“Sebastian,” you whimper, and his hips snap against yours.
“Say it,” he growls. “Please.”
“You’re all there is,” you gasp. “You’re all mine, Bash.”
He makes a sound like you’ve sucker-punched him, messily kissing wherever he can get his mouth on you – your cheek, your jaw, your lips. All the while he’s fucking you open with relentless, eager thrusts.
He’s not going to last long, but you don’t expect him to. You just want him to feel good – the two of you have already wasted enough time not doing this, so why delay satisfaction?
You wrap your legs around his hips to hold him against you, rocking your own hips upward to meet him and coax him closer to the edge.
“I’m going to come,” he grits out, grinding into you desperately the closer he gets to his climax. “Can I finish inside?”
“N-no,” you whimper. There’s a potion you can drink to make it safe that takes an entire week to brew, and the batch that’s currently bubbling away at your potions station across the Room isn’t quite ready yet.
“Where?” he begs.
“Anywhere else, wherever you want,” you promise him, your mind quickly tossing out mental images of him spilling himself across your breasts, into your mouth, on the curve of your back.
He pulls out of you with a reluctant moan and kneels between your open thighs, wrapping a hand around his cock to finish himself off. You watch his eyes while he takes you in, seemingly torn between meeting your gaze and staring transfixed at your fingers between your thighs as you get closer to finishing yourself.
“Next time, love,” you murmur softly. “The next time you fuck me you can finish in me, I’ll take it all.”
“Promise?” he asks breathlessly, still an incorrigible flirt even when he’s seconds away from his orgasm.
“Promise,” you whine, spreading your legs a little wider when you catch his gaze lingering again.
You’re so close, desperately rolling your hips against your own hand until you tip over the edge, the rush of your release arching your back before you collapse lazily against the bed.
He shuffles forward and groans your name just before he spills, leaving a warm, wet mess all over your stomach and between your hips. You feel properly claimed – especially when he flops down next to you and immediately tugs you against his chest, unbothered by his release smearing between your bodies.
“You’re amazing,” he breathes into your hair. “Merlin, I love you.”
“You love me?” you whisper against his collarbone.
“Enduringly,” he says.
You rest your cheek against his chest and listen to his racing heartbeat for a few moments before you tell him, “I love you too, you know.”
Just then, the Room starts to rumble.
“What’s going on?” Sebastian asks, urgently peering around for his wand.
He quickly settles and even laughs under his breath when he sees the Room shifting around the two of you to provide a spacious, sunken bathtub in the middle of the room, complete with a luxurious amount of taps that undoubtedly offer an array of bubbles, salts and soaps.
“Oh, now you want to let me clean myself up?” Sebastian drawls. “After you’ve completely worn me out, hmm?”
“It’s more for me,” you giggle. “I can’t possibly sleep like this, but you’re welcome to join me if you’d like.”
As if Sebastian would ever pass up the chance to feel you up in the water.
#ALRIGHT MA'AM/SIR:#I just discovered your blog and I'm here EATING UP! 👏🏼💯#you keep us so well fed 🌝#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x reader#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x reader#sebastian x mc#smut for daaaaaays
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ʚɞ warnings: fem!reader, looking up skirt, panty stealing + sniffing + licking, masturbation, professional misconduct, 18+ minors dni.
pervy electrician!toji who unintentionally shows up a little earlier at your house than he was supposed to and is rewarded with the sight of a very unprepared you hurriedly rushing to answer the door in just a baggy t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy socks.
pervy electrician!toji whose usual disinterested expression he has permanently plastered upon his features during work hours morphs into one of subtle interest as his dark eyes leisurely drag up and down your figure — and damn, he never gets sent out to clients as hot as you.
pervy electrician!toji who greets you with a simple nod as he brushes past you to get inside, his scarred lips involuntarily twitching up into an amused half-smile at how you ramble out several apologies for not being ready for his arrival.
pervy electrician!toji who casually waves it off and assures you that he doesn't mind; and he definitely doesn't mind when it means that he gets to watch you walk around in front of him wearing that shirt that barely even covers your ass.
pervy electrician!toji who is as well-mannered as he has to be when conversing with a customer, but makes sure to inject a little more charm into his voice just for you as he drawls out "well, what seems to be the problem, ma'am?"
pervy electrician!toji who silently pats himself on the back when he notices you grow slightly flustered at the polite term he used to address you by, leaning against your kitchen counter as he watches you explain the issues you've had with your power frequently cutting out lately.
pervy electrician!toji who has to make a concerted effort to bite back a scoff when you explain that despite being married, your useless husband has no idea how to fix the problem himself so you had no choice but to resort to calling his company.
pervy electrician!toji who can hardly even comprehend that your sorry excuse for a husband just went to work for the day and left a precious thing like you here with no power; some fools really don't know how good they have it, do they?
pervy electrician!toji who finds a rare, genuine smile pulling at his lips when you joke lightly that you'd make him a cup of coffee if there was any power for the kettle. so you're pretty as hell and you have a good sense of humour... oh, he's in trouble.
pervy electrician!toji who investigates the fuse box located at the back of the cupboard under the kitchen sink while you dash upstairs to change into something more appropriate, humming a quiet tune under his breath while he works.
pervy electrician!toji who figures out what the issue is in no time at all — there's a small leak dripping from the pipe leading from the bottom of the sink that has trickled down and fried some of the wiring; shouldn't be too hard to fix.
but for some reason, he finds himself wanting to create a reason for him to stay around here just a little longer.
so, pervy electrician!toji 'accidentally' makes the leak even worse by using the spanner on his tool belt to stretch the hole in the pipe slightly wider, causing any working part left in the fuse box to fizzle out into uselessness as a result.
pervy electrician!toji who has to pretend to be inconvenienced by the problem that he just worsened once you return to the kitchen, scratching the side of his jaw and telling you that it'll take him atleast a couple of hours to try and salvage the fuse box.
pervy electrician!toji who isn't exactly lying when he says this; just refraining from telling you the whole truth that there is no way to fix the ruined thing now. the entire box has to be replaced and he doesn't happen to have a new one with him today.
...looks like he'll just have to come back tomorrow, too.
pervy electrician!toji who keeps himself busy pretending to attempt to mend things under the cupboard, but finds it quite hard not to be distracted by your pretty self sitting atop the counter where you insisted on staying to keep him company while he works.
but, at the end of the day, pervy electrician!toji is a man, after all — a man who can't help himself from sneaking a quick peek up the edge of the skirt you changed into, holding back a groan when he catches a small glimpse of your patterned panties.
pervy electrician!toji who claims he needs to use your bathroom a little while later, making sure you don't follow him up the stairs before sneaking through the hall until he finds you and your husband's shared bedroom.
pervy electrician!toji who finds himself rifling through his client's underwear drawer like a damn horny teenager, hastily pulling out a pair of cute panties similar the ones he knows you're wearing downstairs right now.
pervy electrician!toji who is way too worked up to feel any sense of shame as he pushes his baggy work trousers down, exposing the extremely noticeable tent and subsequent wet patch staining the front of his boxers.
"fuckin' hell," pervy electrician!toji rasps as he shoves a hand into his boxers, wrapping it around the base of his painfully throbbing cock as he begins languidly stroking himself. "driving me crazy here, girl." he mutters to himself.
pervy electrician!toji who can't stop himself from holding your panties up to his face, cursing under his breath when he remembers that these are a clean pair from your drawer. no — he needs a used pair if he wants to be able to properly get off.
pervy electrician!toji who sifts through your laundry hamper like a starving man searching for scraps of food in a dumpster, his movements fuelled by the sheer need to release the overwhelming desire coursing through his veins.
pervy electrician!toji whose scarred lips twitch up into a victorious smirk when he finally finds a dirty pair of your panties, wasting no time in pressing his nose against the slick-stained crotch and inhaling your scent. and fuck, is it an intoxicating smell.
pervy electrician!toji who is utterly pussydrunk without even being near your actual cunt, tongue instinctively flicking out on its own to lap lightly at the soiled material, a pornographic moan falling from his lips afterwards.
"shit. tastes s-so sweet, heh." pervy electrician!toji grunts as he resumes those earnest tugs of his furiously hard cock, his sloppy mouth just coating your dirty panties with his glistening salvia.
pervy electrician!toji who is cumming in record time like a downright pathetic and touch-starved virgin, one press of his thick thumb against his weeping tip causing it to spill rope after rope of milky release into his boxers.
pervy electrician!toji who does actually go to the bathroom after he's pulled his trousers up and shoved both pairs of stolen panties into his pockets, cleaning himself up as best he can and checking his reflection in the mirror to make sure he doesn't look too wrecked.
pervy electrician!toji who saunters downstairs and faces you with an easy smile as if he didn't just jerk off with your used underwear pressed against his mouth, sharing the news that he'll 'unfortunately' have to return tomorrow to replace the broken fuse box.
pervy electrician!toji who tells you his usual bill for the basic work he's done today, although secretly gives you a considerable discount — one because it's you, and two because he didn't actually do anything to fix your power issue and instead deliberately made it worse so he could stay longer.
pervy electrician!toji who releases an amused chuckle when you frantically dart around the house in search of your purse, coming to the sheepish conclusion that you must've left it in your husband's car that he drove to work this morning with.
pervy electrician!toji who simply shrugs and suggests that you pay him when he comes by tomorrow instead. little do you know, however, that you've already paid him... just in the form of an orgasm and two pairs of panties instead of money.
pervy electrician!toji who is counting down the seconds until he can see you again as he drives home in the company van, body relaxed and sated from his previous climax and pockets stuffed pleasantly full with stolen underwear.
he'd say that was all in good day's work.
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pervy lifeguard!gojo <- PREVIOUS PART.
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